i’m constantly reminded of my experience with grief, but above all, those who i have had to grieve. and the somewhat little memories i have of them as time goes by whilst i’m still in mourning.
it is truly a humbling experience, to realise that you can’t seem to remember much of the person who’s permanent physical absence rocked your world most.
the mind grows weird that way. you tend to forget as you age, and i think i fear that maybe one day, i’ll forget who they were at all
0 notes
Hello, I got some bad news about 20 minutes ago, and this is my way of venting
hope ur ok - Olivia Rodrigo feat. Ella (Ella’s Version)
I know a girl, we’re both still so young
She’a a tow-head blonde, with eyes of salt
She knows my best friend, knows how to dance
Her parents care so for all their children
But sometimes, one may be forgotten
She wore long sleeves, but I saw her wrists
And one day, she didn’t show up
We made jokes saying “Is she ill now? Such tough luck”
Don't know how long it’ll be till I see you again
Or how you’re doing, but I hope that you're okay
My high school friend’s family is big
I’ve heard her brothers can be loud
Her parents care for all their kids
She doesn’t know yet about her future
She is tired, I can see it
As I drag her by her arm saying “you need help”
Does she know how proud I am she was created?
Oh, the courage she always seems to have has faded
But I don’t care and I just gotta say
"I miss you, and I hope that you're okay"
I address my message, to the blue in your soul and your lips
Feels like forever, nothing is as good as it seems
And when the clouds are ironed out
And the monsters creep into your house
And every bite is hard to swallow
Well, I hope you know how proud I am you were created
With the courage to be there and to be great
God, I hope that you will feel better soon
'Cause I love you, and I hope that you're okay
7 notes
·
View notes
she says he won't let her get a dog, which is fine, because they're in an apartment, and that's the kind of thing people say about their partners. he won't let me get a dog. and you're at a dinner party and you tilt your head a little to the side just like that dog he won't let her get, because is this the thing that's going to upset you? you don't know every corner of their relationship, she could be joking, they could have had so many healthy conversations about the dog, right, and maybe she's not letting herself get the dog because of money and time and whatever. but, like, she did say let
and she wants to move away from his hometown and he wants to stay and then he tells you with a wink and a conspiratorial stage whisper don't worry i'll convince her and she laughs about it - so clearly this is something they laugh about. but you do just stand there and stare at him like what the fuck, man. you can't say what you want to say which is why do you get the final say on everything because they're both obviously aware of the other person's stance on this and have obviously had private conversations about it and what are you going to do about it except make a scene and then he'll be mad at you and call you one of those bitches behind your back and she'll cut you off, which is a loss that doesn't feel worth it just because he makes you a little skeeved out every 3rd comment
and they both agree he just isn't the type to get flowers which is fine because everyone shows love differently, and are you really gonna judge someone based on their sense of individual relationship responsibility? maybe he's constantly cleaning her car and writing her poems and making her furniture or something. maybe she doesn't even like flowers and this is perfect, actually. and no you couldn't date him, obviously, ew; but like, she tells you she's happy. you almost send her a tiktok that says don't be 25 and the cool girl that doesn't need anything, you'll hate not getting flowers at 30, but that's like, starting drama & you shouldn't start drama needlessly.
and you're a little older than her but not so much older you can pull the whole trust me on this one babe thing and besides that wouldn't have worked anyway (when does it ever) and besides you have trauma so you and your therapist both agree that you're always looking for a problem even when there isn't one. and you tell yourself that just because you see them for 15 minutes every month does not mean you can identify every single red flag based on a single shitty half-joking(?) comment
and besides, what are you going to do? she says i actually wanted another stand mixer but thankfully he stops me when i'm about to spend too much money and you're standing there like are you okay? is this normal? is this just something people say? and again - what are you going to do?
to your therapist you try to language it - it's not, like, any of my business. but sometimes, doesn't it feel like - you should do something. there's got to be something, right? you've tried dropping little hints but they sail right through and you've tried having a single serious conversation and she got upset because why does it matter to you, yes it's different but we're happy, it doesn't need to make sense to you and you're like. really unwilling to push a boundary about it anymore; because the truth is that you know logically it shouldn't matter to you, as long as both parties are happy.
and besides, you've been wrong before. it's just... like, every time you see them both, something else happens, some kind of shiver down your spine like do you even hear each other when you talk. it's their strange, bickering orbit. just the way he's on his phone through dinner or watching sports instead of helping in the kitchen or, fuck, another one of these little throwaway comments he makes about we'll see about that, babe. she laughs when he calls her passions stupid shit and meanwhile she gets him tickets to see the knicks and he tells you well at least she's smart about something and still! it's none of your business.
you say get the dog anyway and she laughs. like, this is is you being funny. and not you saying - no really. get the dog. get the dog and get out of here. pack up and start running.
5K notes
·
View notes
Why are Price's tiddies so big??? Are they full of milk??? Are you not milking him properly??? Could I help milk him??? I promise I won't breed him 🙏 I mean that promise I do not wanna be a dad he is not gonna get bred
Okay but what about Price sucking on your tits….
Pairing: John Price x Male reader
cw: 18+ male breastfeeding, breastfeeding kink, it really is just price sucking your tits no lactation or anything, dom male reader, sub price
Dedicated to Elijah because he gets it @lieutnt
Thinking about Price laying on your lap, head cradled in your hand, fingers tentatively scratching at his scalp, while you watch the tension slowly seep out of him.
It’s been a busy week, with paperwork that never seems to stop piling up, recruits that keep leaving messes for him to clean up and on top of that he hasn’t properly seen you all week except for the couple of minutes before he left for work or before he fell asleep.
It’s safe to say he’s a bit tense and you’ve done everything in your power to help him relax yet nothing seems to be helping.
It wasn’t until you had him sprawled out on your lap, his head in your hand, and lips brushing over your pec that you saw a change on his face.
That’s when you got an idea.
Your thumb grazes his bottom lip before gently clasping his chin and nudging him closer towards bare skin.
There’s visible heat creeping up his face, a choked sound escaping his chest before he leans in to deliver a tentative lick to your pec.
His gaze meets yours, looking at you as if he’s expecting the worst only to be met with your soft smile as you nudge him closer to you.
Price doesn’t waste a second before he delivers another tentative lick, this time dragging his tongue slowly across the sensitive skin as a contented hum escapes his lips.
“There it is,” you breathe out, feeling the tension leave your body as well as you fully relax onto the mattress.
The feeling of his mouth wasn’t unpleasant by any means and it wasn’t the first time you were doing something like this but it certainly was the first time doing it without any sex involved.
You didn't mind though, didn’t need an explanation, not when he looks so relaxed like this; eyes half lidded cheeks dusted pink contented sounds escaping his puffy red lips.
The man continues to deliver experimental licks, sharp tongues dragging across the small mound and leaving it covered in spit, sending pleasurable sensations running through your body whenever his hot breath washes over the slick skin.
“Hah,” you grunt out, feeling your toes curl and head tip back.
Price doesn’t seem too bothered with the sudden commotion as he continues licking and mouthing at the now puffy numb before he finally latches on.
“Fuck!” You grout out, the hand in his hair turning rough as you yank at the sandy strands “Just like that love,” you say, and pull the other man closer to you.
Price seems just as eager to get close, slinging one leg over your waist to further scoot into your arms while a hand clutches onto your shoulder as if trying to prevent you from escaping his grasp.
You can’t help the smile that makes its way onto your face as you look down at the man who seems so docile in your embrace.
Despite the furrowed brows and the way his fingers are practically digging into your skin the tension from earlier seems to be completely gone from his body, as he continues vigorously sucking”doing so well for me John,”
For a brief moment there aren’t any words exchanged, just a comfortable silence, while one hands cards through his hair, as the other gently caresses his bare skin,
The repeated suckling motion almost lulls you to sleep, eyelids growing heavy as you feel yourself sink further into the sheets and upon looking down at the older man you can see he’s also dozing off, eyes fluttering shut, lips slipping from your nipple as soft snores roll off of his tongue,
Goodnight John.
736 notes
·
View notes