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runningfrom2am · 10 months

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leveling the playing field IV

summary: you didn't meet the requirements for the plinth prize, only to find out that you're not just missing out on that- you're missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime. your friend wants to help, because maybe you can help each other.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 2.5k

tags/warnings: capitol brat!reader, maybe slightly ooc coryo, idk i tried my best. do they love each other or hate each other? who knows (we do, kind of). implications and discussion of abuse, so read with caution!!

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a/n: im just hammering this out at this point-

next part

The following days were full of a new routine. Every morning, take pain medication for your now neverending migraine, gather food for Lucy Gray and the Snow's, check in with Jessup and redress his bite as best you can, go to the hospital and be denied visitation to Coryo, go to class, and then start the cycle again that afternoon. You were getting burnt out, and quickly- your parents were displeased that you weren't home as often. Their patience was wearing thin.

If you were honest with yourself, your patience was also wearing thin. You were catering to Lucy Gray, which of course you agreed to do, but in the case that she wins the games, the Plinth Prize would not be going to you. It would still go to Coriolanus- and he was in the hospital doing nothing but recovering. Which was good. You remind yourself several times a day that you are happy to help because at least he isn't dead.

The sun is setting when Coriolanus wakes up again, this time feeling less groggy. He's been in and out the last few days, most of it as a blur due to the pain medication that has been pumping into his system through an IV for the last few days. He does vaguely remember waking up to eat as much as he could stomach, talking to Clemensia, maybe, unless he was hallucinating, and telling a nurse to stop letting you in when he kept seeing covered plates and glass containers showing up with more food. It had to have been you, and while he was grateful for it, he loathed the idea of you pitying him.

Tigris and Sejanus were both present, now, and despite telling the staff to not let you in, he's more than a little disappointed you are not there. He furrows his brow, attempting to pull out the tube from his hand. "Hey, hey-" Tigris stops him, shaking her head out of confusion. "What are you doing?"

"I'm fine. I'm better." He insists, pushing her hand away.

"I need to go check on Lucy Gray..." He mumbles, shaking his head.

"Y/N is with her. She's fine." Sejanus tells him, standing by the end of the bed.

"Now? What time is it? How do you know?"

"Well, the interviews will start in an hour or so." His friend explains.

"An hour?" Coriolanus asks, now more frantically pulling out the tube with a hiss. He has to be there, he has to go introduce Lucy Gray. He didn't even consciously realize time was passing while he was there.

"No, Coryo, you can't go. Y/N can handle it." Tigris says, trying to calm him.

"Sejanus, are you going?" He asks, ignoring his cousin completely.

Sejanus looks down, shaking his head and twisting his fingers out of nervousness. "No, uh, Marcus escaped. He's gone."

Coriolanus was disappointed- he was hoping he would be able to hitch a ride with him. He'll have to run- though it isn't too far.

"Okay, well, I'm going." He insists, grabbing a pile of clean clothes that Tigris had brought for him the day previous.

Tigris gives up on trying to stop him, and Sejanus hasn't really attempted to. He knows that you would be happy to see him if he is feeling well enough to go. Watching you in class, constantly jittery and even a little pale, made it evident that you needed Coriolanus, or you were worried, at the very least.

Thankful for the morphing he still had in his bloodstream, he makes it to the studio in time for Lucy Gray's interview, even with a few minutes to spare. As soon as he sees you, he can tell that you've been struggling. The bags under your eyes couldn't be hidden by makeup, nor could your healing bruises from the bombing that were now turning a shade of green that would typically make him ill. Scattered as well among them were some darker ones, purple ones, around your elbow and on your wrist. Regardless, you're smiling- talking in a hushed tone to Lucy Gray.

You're opening your brother's guitar case, carefully lifting it out of the velvet that surrounded it when you see Coryo walking toward you, and you're immediately abandoning your effort to stand up and greet him. "Coryo? What are you doing here?" You ask, excitement fading into worry.

"I wouldn't miss it." He smiles politely, adjusting his cuffs.

You sigh, finding the effort to match his smile. "You made it." Lucy Gray grins at him, brushing over her face with a cloth you offered her, a small effort to clean up the dirt and grime that clung to her skin in the zoo.

"Well, I got her a guitar. It's my brothers." You quickly move on, already feeling comforted by his presence alone. You grab it, holding it out to him as Lucy digs into the makeup that you had brought for her to borrow, hoping to add some life back into her face.

He takes it, looking over the polished wood and the brand-new strings. "Thank you. And it's tuned? Working order?"

"Tip top shape." You promise with a nod. "I had it professionally looked over this morning."

"You're a dream." Coryo praises you, making you blush. "Thank you, Y/N. Truly."

"It's my job."

Lucy Gray did amazing in her performance- and everyone loved it. She received the most donations by a long shot, which will allow Coriolanus to help her in the arena. As much as he can without changing her abilities to defend herself or fight, anyway.

You had made it home shortly after, returning your brother's guitar and having a shower before practically crawling into bed. Finally, you feel like you may be able to get a good night's sleep. Coryo is home, and even though you have an early morning, you'll be able to relax enough to rest.

That is, until you hear something snapping against the window next to your bed. You try and ignore it, covering your ears with your pillow, but the tapping persists.

You flick on your lamp and hesitantly pull back the curtain, peeking out to track the source of the noise. It was only a moment before your eyes landed on Coryo, who waves when he can see you in the window. You rub your eyes, squinting from the light and sliding the window open.

"Coryo?" You ask, confused as to why he's here.

"Come down, bring your notebook." He whispers loud enough for you to hear, but his voice is still soft enough to not wake anyone else in your house. "And a coat, it's quite cold."

You sigh. "Okay. Give me two minutes." Apparently, rest isn't a part of your evening plans.

You follow alongside him all the way to the arena, already set up to host the Hunger Games in the morning.

"Woah..." You gasp, walking into the same clearing you had just days before, but now it looked like a whole new place. "Okay. This we can work with." You smile a little to yourself, not noticing Coryo training his eyes on you.

He watches as you walk ahead of him, immediately toward the center of the large room as you scribble in your notebook. You wanted to get down as many details as possible, every new pile of debris or hole that could offer a place of refuge for Lucy Gray. Coriolanus wants to focus on the task at hand, but this is the first time he's been around you without the prying eyes of classmates or adults in a long time. You were never alone, he almost always was outside of school.

Walking up next to you, the light from the moon hits your hair and the side of your face as you look around, hardly glancing at the book in your hand. "Are you..." He starts, being reminded of what he noticed on the walk over but wouldn't dare to mention.

"Hm?" You prompt him to continue, drawing your attention to the boy in front of you now and lifting your pen to your mouth, biting onto it while you shake out a cramp in your wrist.

"Are you wearing makeup?" He asks, leaning in slightly to get a closer look.

"Excuse me?" You laugh awkwardly after grabbing the pen once more, taking a small step back. "Certainly your grandmother taught you its unbecoming to ask a lady such a question."

He chuckles slightly, looking away from you. "Bold of you to assume I consider you a lady." He jokes.

You gasp in mock offense, playfully smacking his arm. "How dare you!" You can't help but laugh. Now you remember why you were friends. Or why you considered him a friend, and why he believed that he was merely tolerating you. In reality, he didn't have to bring you. He could have come on his own, but why should he when you would be willing to accompany him? You're known for your attitude, your brashness, and he admired your unwavering ambition- whatever you wanted you would get. Not just because of your family name, either. You were willing to work for it, to fight for it.

Coriolanus was walking a fine line between desiring your presence and his own indifference. Now, surpassing a mere tolerance of you, this change scared him. "I know what you look like, you know. It's the middle of the night, there was no use wasting our time with putting on makeup." He says, not wanting to let on his own intrigue on the topic.

"I would argue that you don't, not since we were fourteen, anyway." You reply, dipping your head to get back to your sketching. "It's more of a force of habit."

His closeness allows him to grab your chin between his thumb and forefinger, gently but firmly lifting your head back up to get a better look at you. Your eyes widen, your heartbeat increasing with a mix of fear and embarrassment.

His eyes bore into you, into every part of your face as if your skin would somehow tell him the full story. You can't bring yourself to speak, just waiting for him to find the answers he wanted.

"Is it your father?" He asks, looking into your eyes now, his grip loosening on your chin.

You take a quick step back. You were aware that he knew something, he was the only one who tended to stare too long at your skin wherever it was exposed ever since you were thirteen and he asked what happened when you came to school with a bruise on your cheek. Notably more so after your essay last year that rewarded you with only a B.

"I won't tell anyone." He says, and your own voice echoes in your mind after telling him the same thing just the other day at your house. "I would have by now if I was going to."

"Why do you care?" You bite back, defensiveness being your go to weapon in a war of self-preservation.

He wants to spit at you that he doesn't, but that's a lie he couldn't even dream of in this moment. You'd storm out, probably never talk to him again, and that idea hurt him. "I want to help you."

"Well, not much anyone can do now is there?" You reply, attempting to move on. "Let's look around." You try and change the subject, give yourself an outlet to walk away, but this doesn't work as Coryo is grabbing your wrist, stopping you from taking another step.

"You can help by ignoring it." You sigh, his blue eyes just staring as he scrambled to find the right thing to say. "By not treating me like I'm going to break at every turn. How does that sound?"

He opens his mouth to speak but he doesn't, slightly shaking his head. He wants to release his grip on your wrist, tense and tight with urgency, but how could he without giving you the idea he thinks he's hurting you? He slides his hand into yours, holding his breath. "I apologize. It's not what I intended."

Now it's your turn to be speechless, staring down at your hands locked together.

"I just wanted to keep you safe." He explains, dancing around the idea even in his own mind that maybe he cares for you more than he should. "After Arachne, and after Clemensia, and now the Ring twins and Felix still fighting in that hospital bed it's so obvious to me that we are far from safe in this. We always were."

Your brow furrows. "What happened to Clem?"

"Dr. Gaul..." He takes in a deep breath. "One of her experiments, Clemensia has been in the hospital for days and she has these scales growing all over her and I thought I watched her die and then you almost died and-"

"Hey, hey, woah-" You cut him off, stepping closer again and not daring to drop his hand as he begins to crumble in front of you. "I'm still here, aren't I?"

He just nods, attempting to swallow back the fear in his voice.

"Okay. So, we've made it this far. You'll get that prize, we'll move on. Next year it will be someone else's problem. You will be safe." You say, squeezing his hand gently. "We're almost done, just a few more days."

His mouth is dry, and despite his heart racing, he knows you are right. After tonight, you won't be face-to-face with the tributes again. Neither of you will be in harm's way anymore, at least, not due to the games. Life will return to normal for you, and he will claim the prize he is owed and his life will change for the better. You won't be bringing him food every day, and you won't both be stressing over how to best prepare Lucy Gray. The tightness in his chest returns as his thoughts devolve- will he miss you?

It catches you off guard when he pulls you into a hug. Tight, panicked, heavy under the weight of all the tragedy and grief the two of you walk around with day to day. There is no one who gets him quite like you do. This time, he rests his chin on your head as your arms wrap around his waist, hands overlapping on his back. No, it's not enough. He tilts his head down so he can feel the warmth of you on his cheek, holding you tight as he takes in the scent of your hair. It's not roses, not like his mother's powder or what's left of her clothes in the Snow apartment, it's fresh. The smell of whatever soap you use doesn't demand to be noticed and inhaled, it's mostly full of you. Raspberries. That's it- it's raspberries mixed with you.

"We're almost done..." You whisper again, gently rubbing his back now in reassurance. He wonders, could you not feel the weight of everything? Of both of your entire lives barreling toward you all at once? Of course not. You were Y/N Y/L/N, you could only feel the pain of others; altruism drips out of every ounce of your being despite your habit of lashing out. Of course, you couldn't see it. You only saw him right now. Not his fear of losing you.

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#coriolanus x reader #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus snow #coryo snow #tbosas #the hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #hunger games #thg #thg fanfic #thg fanfiction

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lovelettersfromluna · 1 year

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Linger

Summary: Back home for the holidays after hooking up with your best friend, who you also happen to be madly in love with...what could possibly go wrong.

an: Look who managed to get the final part of a series in a manageable time, me!! This honestly would have been out way sooner but I ended up getting pretty sick, so I apologize for that. Im feeling better, and super inspired! I have some other stuff in the works for you all as well, bc I think you deserve to be spoiled 😌. Anyways! I hope you guys enjoy the last installment of this fic!! 🖤🖤🖤

Warnings: Smut!! MDNI!! 18+, Ellie and reader are both very sad and very stubborn, angst, hurt/comfort, alcohol usage, mention of marijuana, making out, pet names, oral (Ellie receiving), tribbing, let me know if I missed anything!

Part 1, part 2

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The holidays had always been your favorite time of the year.

It always filled you with this warm, cozy, feeling every time you thought about it. Throughout all three hundred and sixty five days of the year, you looked forward to those last three months tucked away at the end of the year, that were filled with nothing but warm memories.

Ever since you had started college, you family made it a tradition of having you come back for the holidays. Right after halloween, you would practically race through the assignments you had until thanksgiving break before you were off to catch a flight to spend time with your family.

You and Ellie always went home together.

She was practically apart of your family, and you were practically apart of hers. If Joel wasn't knocking on your door with a half burnt pie with Ellie standing by his side, eager to play whatever new video came out that month, you and your family were making their way to the Miller house. It was just how things were, and you it was another reason why you loved the holidays so much.

But this year, things had changed.

The air only got colder with each passing day, nipping away at your skin and making it harder and harder to peel yourself from your warm bed every morning that you had class. It was like with each passing year, the colder months grew to be more bitter and unforgiving than the last.

It had been almost a month since you spoke to Ellie.

After everything that had happened at the party, the slew of emotions that brewed within the depths of your mind and soul was almost too much to bare.

After you passed out in Ellie's arm, the bliss you felt could not compare to anything else you had ever felt before. Out of all that you had done, every one you had ever been intimate with, there was no way they could ever hold a candle to the way Ellie made you feel that night. Her arms stayed wrapped around your body throughout the entire night, soft lips pressing sleepy kisses against your face and neck, her low voice mumbling sweet nothings into your ear between the hazy state that lies between sleep and wake.

All of it came together to create the single most euphoric experience you had ever come in contact with in your entire life. But but daylight, it was all ripped away.

As soon as your eyes opened, adjusting to the light shining into the foreign bedroom you slept in, you were confused. You weren't in your bedroom, you certainly weren't in your house, you started to struggle with finding things that you were familiar with.

The second you looked down and saw Ellie's face pressed against your chest, you had gotten what you asked for.

It made you seize up a bit, your body stiffening in the girls embrace as you slowly recalled what had happened the night prior. Images of Ellie slotted between your legs came flooding in, her face slick with your arousal, green eyes low and filled with lust, mumbling the filthiest things to you as she destroyed your core with her skilled tongue.

The memories alone made you whine.

The sound made Ellie groan in her sleep, the brunette humming softly as she stirred a bit in her sleep before she leaned in, pressing lazy, sleepy kisses against your throat as she nuzzled closer into you, seeking your warmth as she slowly came to.

"hmmm..whats the matter baby?" She mumbles out against your skin, her voice low and filled with that delicious gravel that only came with sleep. It makes you swallow thickly, taking a deep inhale as you still in her arms.

She was so comfortable, basking in the bliss that you felt mere moments ago. You could tell, from the relaxed muscles of her biceps, to the soft little hums that you felt against your neck, Ellie didn't have a care in the world, not when you were in her arms like this, not when she still had memories of the night prior running through her mind, painting a soft little smile on her pink lips

And truthfully? That made you feel even worse.

Your lack of a response makes her hum, as she blinked her green eyes open to stare up at you, pressing a soft kiss to your jaw. She saw the look on your face, she saw how it was nearly drained of all color. She was confused, because you both had such an amazing night together, there was no reason why you shouldn't be just as blissed out as she was.

"Baby? You with me?" She questioned once again, watching as you blink a few times, seemingly registering her words. You inhaled deeply, clearing your throat as you grabbed both of her arms, and began pulling them from around your body. Ellie frowned as she watched you, but not making any attempt to tighten her grasp and keep you close to her.

You didn't answer, you simply rolled out of bed and silently began grabbing your clothes that had been tossed around the bedroom, the fact alone made you frown further, because through the haze of your hangover, the exhaustion, and the overwhelming urge to crawl back into bed and let Ellie do whatever she wanted to you.

All you could think about, was Sofia.

Her pretty hair, her twinkling eyes, the little dimples she had at the corners of her lips. Her pretty face was the only thing that you could see in your mind. It was like her beauty was evading every corner of your brain, forcing herself to be known, to be acknowledged by you. For anyone, this would have most definitely been the normal thoughts that are linked to someone as beautiful as Sofia, but not for you.

Because you were moaning underneath her girlfriend a mere few hours ago.

You felt like you wee going to pass out. Your heart started to beat faster as the magnitude of what you did, what you let happen, finally began to settle in. It made you feel sick, and the back of your throat burned as hot tears threatened to spill past your eyes and onto your cheeks. How could you have been so stupid? How could you have ever let something like this happen? You were careless, and it was at the expense of someone else's feelings, someone else's relationship.

Through the racing thoughts that filled your head, and the pounding of your heart in your chest, you couldn't hear Ellie calling out for you multiple times. She was sat up on the bed, eyeing you as you rummaged through the bedroom to grab your belongings. She watched with furrowed eyebrows, and a gentle frown, trying to get you to simply look at her for a few minutes. Ellie knew you too well, and she knew that the quieter you got in times like this, the more you got trapped inside your own head.

She was losing you, and she knew that.

She called out your name once more, and through the graces of some unknown force, you heard it. It snaps you out of your thoughts, and it forced you to stand up straight, your head turning in her direction and eyeing her like a deer caught in the headlights. It made Ellie sigh softly, her feet swinging over the bed as she got up, and began making her way over to you.

"What's...what are you doing, baby? I thought...I thought we" She mumbled out softly, taking a few steps towards you. Her frown deepened when you respond to this, by stepping away from her. The way you stared up at her, is a look she doesn't think she will ever be able to forget, because you look terrified, disgusted, scared.

Worst part is, she doesn't know if you feel that way about you, or yourself.

She tried reaching out for you, slender fingers inches away from your waist, her hands burning for you once again. You stepped back again, staring at the girl in disbelief. "Thought what, Ellie? Huh? Thought that...that you could just ruin my night last night? And then drag me up to a random fucking room just to fuck me? So that you could.." You choked up, the words dying down in your throat, the mere thought of what you were going to say making those hot tears burn at your throat again.

You inhaled deeply, blinking back the tears that glossed over your eyes. "That you could use me, to cheat on Sofia" you whispered out, and that was enough to make those wretched tears spill onto your cheeks.

Ellie felt herself choke up as soon as she saw you that way, teary eyed, voice barely above a whisper, heart visibly breaking, and it was all because of her. It was all because of her, and her inability to do things right for once in her life.

You didn't make any attempt at hiding your tears anymore, they were there, and it was clear to see that what happened, was affecting you. The only thing you could do, was leave with the small amount of pride that you still had.

When a moment passed without Ellie saying anything, the girl knowing deep down, that there was nothing she could truly say to justify the situation, or make her actions any less wrong than they already were, you let out a tired sigh. You picked up the last of your things, slung your purse over your shoulder, and left Ellie there standing there.

And as horrible as it sounded, it hurt even more when she didn't try to chase after you.

You didn't want to ask your mom if Ellie and Joel were coming to your house for the holidays, because you knew that it would instantly raise suspicion on what had been going on between the two of you. Your mother could see right through you, and she was no stranger to how eager you always became to have both Joel and Ellie over to the holidays, so once she noticed that it was replaced with anxiety, she would be concerned. She was already confused when she learned that you and Ellie wouldn't be making your way home together like usual.

You hated traveling alone, you always did the annual holiday flight home with Ellie. She made what would usually be quite the boring trip, something that you found to be just as exciting as the holidays itself. You saw it as the perfect way to kick off your favorite time of the year.

But this year, you were doing it alone. Something about it made you feel like the holidays this year wouldn't go down as one of your favorites.

As soon as your parents were picking you up from the airport, and smothering you in kisses, telling you how much they missed you and asking you how your flight went, you felt a bit of the dark cloud that was looming over you clear up a bit. It allowed you to forget about the intense thoughts of your best friend that had been following you around for the past month.

It made you feel hopeful for the time that you had home.

After that night, there was a tiny piece of you that hoped Ellie would reach out. You selfishly hoped that she would come and find you, apologize for what happened, tell you that things between her and Sofia were fine, so that you could go back to normal.

But she didn't.

Ellie ignored you, just as much as you ignored her.

You kept your head down for the most part, in class and when walking through the hallways. You didn’t know how you’d be able to handle seeing Ellie, or seeing Sofia.

Or worse, seeing them together.

When it was fresh, you wanted to avoid it. You wanted to pretend it didn’t happen and carry on throughout the remainder of the semester keeping to yourself.

Soon, you realized that you’d gone the longest without speaking to Ellie throughout your entire friendship. She didn’t text you, she didn’t try to come and see you, hell, she didn’t even look in your direction. It was like she didn’t know you, as if you hadn’t practically grown up together, reaching your greatest milestones together.

On her end, there was complete silence.

The one time you caught her looking at you, was when Alex was sitting with you in the courtyard one day. It was one of the last days leading up to the break, and Alex had slowly made her way back to you. After everything happened, she gave you your space, while quietly letting you know she was still around. Once you finally worked up the courage to speak to her, and apologize for what Ellie did, she told you she understood. She tried to explain to you, that the way Ellie looked at you, wasn’t the way someone looks at just a friend. She could see the fire in her eyes, an undeniable need for you.

But you refused to believe it.

Ellie had every chance to be with you. She was the closest person in the world to you, she knew everything about you, her she never made any attempts to take things further. That was fine, it wasn’t something you dwelled on, because if you weren’t Ellie’s type, then so be it. You knew you weren’t, and while it was something that didn’t bother you…

It did once she had no issue with hooking up with you, but never tried to actually love you.

It made you feel cheap, knowing that you were only worthy of being the other woman, of being the girl that had to stay hidden behind closed doors, a fantasy for Ellie to play with, all while having the benefits of Sofia as her girlfriend. It made you wonder why you weren’t good enough, what separated you from the other girls she dated.

You figured you’d leave that thought alone. If you didn’t, you’d drive yourself mad.

Alex acted as your person of comfort through all of this, offering you nights of hanging out, study dates, or even stopping by to talk after class. You had to admit, it helped. And while she was sitting across from you on a bench underneath a shady tree, listening as you vented about the paper you were working on for that week, you happened to look up for only a second, and you were suddenly locking eyes with Ellie.

Ellie, who had eyes that were glazed over, lips parted as if she wanted to say something, but couldn’t. Eyebrows knitted together as if she’d cry at any moment, begging, screaming for you to hear her, to see her.

Ellie, who immediately turns her head away from you, and keeps on walking.

Throughout the entire month of not speaking to Ellie, that was the single interaction you had with her. And now, you were expected to spend the holidays with her, her father, and the rest of your family. Pretending as if everything was okay, and none of this was keeping you up every single night since the party.

You tried your hardest to get out of the dinner your mom had planned.

You used every excuse in the book. You said your throat was hurting, meaning you must have been coming down with a cold, you complained that you had the worst headache, you even tried using the excuse of not bringing any appropriate clothes for a party.

But of course, your sweet parents did their best at convincing you that the party would be fun, and you’d regret missing it if you did.

You tried taking your time while getting ready, hoping that with some stroke of luck, everyone that was supposed to arrive would’ve flaked on the last minute, meaning you wouldn’t have to put on a tight dress and do your makeup for no reason. Once you heard your mothers squeals, paired with the front door creaking from upstairs, you knew that was out of the question.

You slowly made your way downstairs, kitten heels clicking against the wooden floorboards, the bottom of your white linen dress swaying a bit with you as you walked. It fit you perfectly, hugging your curves at the middle, little flower cutouts littering every other inch of the dress, a dainty little golden necklace resting against your chest, your hair styled perfectly, makeup even more so.

You smiled softly as you greeted some of the guests, all of them raving to your parents about how pretty you were, how much you’d grown, how they didn’t have a little girl anymore. The compliments swelled your heart, making your head big as you shook them off, trying your best to keep up with all of them. The guests were a good distraction, giving you the opportunity to act as your mothers mini me, handing out glasses of champagne and whiskey, giving everyone a warm greeting.

It was so much of a distraction, that you barely noticed your father opening the door for Joel and Ellie.

With how much she’d been avoiding you, you were almost convinced she wouldn’t come. Ellie was never one to go to places she didn’t want to, and Joel rarely forced her. He knew her boundaries, and so did she, and you were sure that as of right now, you were crossing every single one of them with just your existence alone.

Ellie catches sight of you first, once your father let her go of the big bear hug he gave her, her eyes were instantly searching for you.

She feels her breath hitch once she lays eyes on you, pushing your pretty hair past your shoulder, laughing softly at something someone that wasn’t fully visible to her was saying. You brought your champagne glass to your lips, sipping a bit of the golden, bubbly liquid.

Ellie had never been more jealous of a fucking glass in her entire life.

A few hours prior, Ellie had been pacing in her bedroom a few blocks away from your house. She didn’t know what to wear, she didn’t know how to act, she didn’t even know if she’d actually being going. Ever since the night at the party, Ellie had an unmistakable lump in her throat every time she thought about you.

Every time she thought about your lips on hers, or the way your moans sounded, or the way she’d stupidly avoided that nagging little voice inside her head for the past however many years, screaming at her about how pretty you are, about how good it felt to sleep in bed with you at night, at how fucking right it felt to simply be near you.

She thought about all the times the perfect girl for her was standing right there, and she somehow always passed her up for someone else.

Ellie’s initial reaction to everything was to run. She wanted to run from everything, from you, from Sofia, from her feelings. Everything that was complicated in her life was just another thing she needed to get away from, and it’s why you didn’t hear from her after that night. She made sure to make herself scarce, because she knew once she got in front of you again, she’d either say something ridiculous that would dig her into a deeper hole than she was already in, or she’d screw up and kiss you again because she simply couldn’t help herself.

She figured staying away was the best.

Fighting off her feelings was the way to go, and it’s what she did. She knew that eventually she’d have to face the music, but she opted for that later than sooner. She hoped that by the time she saw you again, you’d both be able to get over whatever it was that happened, sweep it under the rug and carry on like before.

Yet, here she was, facing the music like she knew she had to, and it wasn’t any easier than it was in the beginning.

You were always pretty, from the moment Ellie had found you on the playground as kids, she thought you were pretty. The way your eyes crinkled when you smiled, the way you hid your face behind the thick, frumpy turtle necks during the winter, only your cute cheeks and eyes visible, everything about you had always been so fucking pretty, there was no doubt about it.

But God…she had a tendency of forgetting how fucking breathtaking you were when you were like this. All dressed up, diamond earrings twinkling in the dim light of your home, lips tinted the most perfect shade of red, complimenting your skin tone, tugged between your teeth as you eagerly listened on in whatever conversation you were in.

Whenever you looked like this, only one thought came to Ellie’s mind. She’d think about you and her, in a nice big house, planning cheesy Christmas parties for people, wining and dining your guests, her strong arm snagged around your waist as she paraded around her beautiful wife, bragging about the shiny diamond ring she used to propose to you.

It was a selfish thought, but still one that lingered in the back of her mind. Whenever she couldn’t sleep, or got a little too high, it would pop up, and put a stupid smile on her face as she basked in the way her chest warmed up at the thought of making you her wife, the perfect timeline of friendship to lovers.

It was ridiculous, wasn’t it? Ellie dreaming of you as her wife yet she’d brag about other girls to you constantly. Yeah, she didn’t get it either.

It was like a form of self sabotage, Ellie somehow feeling she’d never be enough for you. As your best friend, she wanted nothing but the best for you, because she knew you deserve it, and somehow she didn’t fit that category herself. She wanted desperately to, to be the one for you, to sweep you off your feet and show you what love is. It made her sick to her stomach even thinking about someone else doing it for you, anyone but her.

It was twisted, and selfish, and fucked up, and it was why you guys were drifting further apart than you ever had.

When Ellie finally decided to go to the party, she had it all planned out. She was going to get in, have a few drinks to loosen her up a bit, then she’d take you away and confess her undying love for you….

Or? She’d stare at you like a hawk all night, get too drunk and leave without uttering a single word to you, continuing her silent streak she had going.

The choice was in her hands.

You still hadn’t noticed her at that point, and once a few other guests had made their way to your front door to be greeted by your dad, and she noticed that you didn’t look their way either, she figured you were avoiding the front door like a plague, because you didn’t want to risk seeing Ellie.

And that was true, partially. You were half ignoring the door, and half enjoying your glass of champagne while speaking to one of your dads dearest friends. The alcohol made you feel warm, and it made it easier to have tunnel vision on anything but Ellie, allowing your fake smile to appear the slightest bit more real to the party goers, and that was good enough for them, and for you.

As much as you tried ignoring the door, you couldn’t ignore Ellie’s eyes burning into from different parts of the room. You could feel her gaze searing into you when your parents were greeting her, once again raving about how beautiful she’d gotten, how much they loved her tattoos. As much as you wanted to give in on her, and lock eyes with those green eyes you missed so much, you knew that was a bad idea.

You’d have to simply play dumb for the rest of the night

The party carried out better than you’d imagined.

You managed to avoid Ellie without being painfully obvious to everyone there that you were in fact avoiding Ellie, and you wanted to praise yourself for doing so. It was easy, busying yourself with guests, the alcohol turning you into the little social butterfly your parents always wanted you to be. Using the excuse of hopping from conversation to conversation made it easy to keep your focus on something for enough time, that you were able to completely ignore Ellie.

Being pulled in all sorts of directions, being called every time you stepped away to refill someone’s drink or grab another tray of snacks, you were the star of the show, as funny as that seemed to you. The attention you received would’ve made your head spin on any other given day, but right now, it was just what the doctor ordered.

Sure, there were a few awkward moments where Ellie made her way to the bar when you just so happened to be there. There were moments where her broad shoulders would brush past yours, almost pulling you out of your fantasy world completely, putting you at her mercy. There was even a moment during dinner where you were positive Ellie’s eyes were going to pop out of her head with how closely she watched you.

Through all of those things, and many other tiny little instances that were a bit too awkward for you to deal with, you prevailed. And honestly? It made you feel hopeful for your future in school. If you managed to ignore Ellie so flawlessly during a holiday party, all while maintaining the composure of not having her near? There was no way in hell you’d fuck up the same exact thing at school.

You didn’t need Ellie, and you were slowly proving that to yourself.

Once dinner was done, everyone stayed for only a bit longer, praising your mothers cooking skills, and the decorations in the house. Slowly, the guests started to leave, sleepy eyes and full bellies was all they needed to be sent home with sweet dreams and even sweeter desserts, courtesy of your mother. You felt the weight on your chest grow lighter and lighter with each person leaving, knowing that in due time, Ellie would be leaving as well. When you heard your father and mother walking Joel to the door, all three of them laughing like a group of teenagers after a rowdy night together, you bid the older man a goodbye and made yourself scarce. The kitchen had been cleaned, leftovers had been packed up and put away, and you were feeling far too warm from the liquor, and in desperate need of your bed.

Your heels clicked against wooden stairs as you made your way up to your bedroom, a soft huff leaving your lips as you reached behind your back, struggling to undo the annoying little clasp that held the back of your dress together near the zipper. Another puff of air blew passed your burgundy tinted lips once you reached your bedroom, kicking your slipper heels off as you continued clumsily fumbling with the back of your dress. At this point, you felt tempted to call it quits and sleep in the damn thing.

A soft knock on your door caught your attention, and you let out a sigh of relief as you walked over to it, knowing that it was most certainly your mother coming up to catch any late night gossip that you and her had caught within the night from some of the older ladies that attended.

“Thank god, i was waiting for you to come up. Can you help me with this, mom? I can’t get the clasp” you huff out softly, already turning around and reaching behind your back to fumble with the clasp before you can see who it is standing at your doorway.

Ellie’s eyes are shamelessly raking down your body, the girl swallowing thickly as she looks down at the swell of your ass under the taunt, linen fabric of your dress. The lack of your mothers voice makes you frown, and you quickly turn around to see what it is that has her so silent, but your face drops whenever you’re met face to face with Ellie instead.

Any cockiness that you felt regarding how well you’d ignored Ellie that night had disappeared, and was only replaced with silence as you stared into her eyes. Your throat goes dry, unable to find the words to say to her, and Ellie figures this is her chance.

“Um…your parents and my dad went to check out some holiday thing going on down the street…they asked if I wanted to come but I…figured I should come talk to you instead” she explains, and you simply stare at her dumbfounded, because the path of logic that lead her up to your bedroom is one that you seriously can't come to sympathize with, no matter how pitiful she looked staring into your eyes.

You inhaled deeply, eyebrows furrowed as you gave the girl an unamused look. A moment of silence passes between the both of you before you give her a shrug. "If you leave now you could probably still catch them" you hum out, the alcohol in your system making it far too easy to be rude to your best friend. She visibly deflates at your words, the tone on your tongue foreign to her ears. She was so used to you being so shy, so sweet, always welcoming her with there same sweet words you had for her.

"Look...We can't just carry on as if nothing happened. We need to talk about this...please", you hate the way your stomach does flips when she speaks, the girl practically pleading with you to hear her out. Begging to get a moment alone with you to simply reflect on everything that happened. In that moment, you realized that no matter what, no matter what she did to you, or what happened between the two of you...

You would always be weak for her.

Your gaze softens as you watch her, taking a deep breath before you silently step to the side, giving her the space to walk into your bedroom. The way her eyes shine when you do this doesn't go unnoticed, and those stupid fucking puppy dog eyes of hers are making you melt all over again, especially when she looks so happy just from you letting her into your room.

Ellie inhales deeply once she's in your room, looking around and taking it all in. She recalls all the many nights you two had spent there together, staying up late and watching corny movies, your eyes burning from being glued to the tv for too long. She remembers all the times she would follow you home after school, using studying as an excuse to spend a few more hours of the day with you. She remembers all of it, every memory, all the times you two spent together in that house, in your room. She smiles at the sight of the little flowers on your bedsheets, or the way your room had somehow perfectly preserved the sent of you, of your shampoo, of your favorite lotion, filling her lungs and almost making her feel dizzy. She makes a mental note that your room is definitely one of her favorite places.

And she hates that you two had come to whatever you were at now, creating bitter memories in such a sweet space.

The sound of your soft sigh cuts through her thoughts, and she quickly turns around to see you. Your arms were crossed over your chest, your face still with that unamused expression, making Ellie feel like you would rather be anywhere other than with her, like you couldn't wait for her to leave your bedroom, and it makes her heart sink completely, because out of all the memories Ellie had with you, none of them were ever filled with that face that you were making.

She clears her throat, awkwardly shifting her weight onto feet as she gives you a nod, as if answering a question that you hadn't even asked. "Sorry..um...let's sit?" She questions hopefully, and you shake your head, standing your ground with the girl.

"I'm fine here...and whatever you need to say to me can be said standing up" you mumble out softly. You knew deep down, that the second Ellie got you siting next to her, you wouldn't be able to fight back the urges you had to jump her bones. You would be lying if you said that you didn't think about her every night since the party. Her lips, her tongue, the way her hands felt roaming your body, keeping you close while you both slept. The memories you had with here were seared at the front of your brain, demanding to be acknowledged every waking moment of your day.

She frowns softly at your words, but gives you a gentle nod, understanding that this was just as hard for you as it was for her, if not more. Ellie takes a deep inhale, seemingly trying to find the right words to say, the right way to start off this entire conversation. She finds herself choking up, heart beating so fast she was sure you could hear it. You're making her nervous, and Ellie is finding it hard to separate the girl that has been her best friend for her entire life, from the girl that she was falling in love with.

And she finds it hard to figure out when those two things became one and the same.

"I broke up with Sofia." she blurts out, the words almost leaving her lips too fast to make a coherent sentence, but still, you catch every word perfectly. You stare at her for a moment before you scoff, you don't mean for the sound to come out as harsh as it does, but you don't have much control over your emotions at the moment.

"Is that supposed to change every thing? Is that supposed to make all of this okay, Ellie?" You question, the calmness of your voice almost scaring Ellie. She quickly shakes her head, stepping closer towards you, to which you take a step back, mirroring the morning after the party almost identically.

"No! Fuck..No, it isn't supposed to fix every thing..I just-" Although you agreed to hearing Ellie out, letting her into your bedroom for the sole purpose of letting her explain, you're cutting her off, because you truly cannot hold back anymore. You're tired of holding it all back, biting your tongue and forcing down what you felt for the sake of others.

"Do you not understand what you did? You sabotaged something that was....that was fucking good for me. Alex was so good for me, and you were so dead set on ruining that for me!" Your voice slowly begins to raise, and you are so thankful that your parents and Joel aren't in the house, because you're sure the neighbors can probably hear you.

Ellie opens her mouth again to speak, attempting to diffuse your anger, but you don't let her. "No, I have gone this entire time in silence, it's time I talk for once" you stop her, and Ellie is positive she's never seen you this angry in her entire life.

"You have known me, almost your entire life. You never once made any advances towards me, which is fine! I've watched you have multiple girlfriends who could not be any further away from what I am than they already are, and I never said a word. I have loved you from the moment I understood what love is, and I never said anything. I was okay with not being wanted by you, I was content with just being your friend, but suddenly you're stopping me from gettin into a relationship of my own? and using me to cheat on your girlfriend?" You started pacing as you spoke, your hands flailing about as you ranted, unable to even stop and realize that you had in fact just confessed that you loved your best friend.

You were just so tired. You were tired of feeling unwanted, of feeling like you were always the second option, never worthy enough to be the girl that was taken home to mom, always the girl that was picked last.

You were fucking tired.

Ellie feels like her heart seizes up when she hears those words, the ones that confirmed your feelings. She hears how tired you are, how broken you have become, at the hands of her doings, and she can feel that the love you have for her is slowly drifting as this situation prolongs.

"And...and I know I've never been that girl. I'll never be Sofia, I'll never be the girl that makes people do a double take when I'm walking down the hallway, Im not...that isn't me. And I was fine with that! I was fine with going unnoticed...but do you...do you know how hard it is to be placed second by the girl you're madly in love with? You made me feel so...fucking worthless of actually being wanted past a night of fucking" You're crying at this point, soft hiccups and sighs interrupting every other word, making it hard to breath, and making you sound all the more broken.

Ellie watches as you pace back and forth, ranting, crying, desperately trying to find answers for why she did what she did. Searching for the will to prove that you were worth it, that you were worth love.

She realizes that she destroyed any chance of you feeling worthy of love when she drove Alex away from you.

You finally stop pacing, turning towards her. The image of you breaks her heart, because your lashes are webbed together, eyes glossy with tears, cheeks soaked, chest rising and falling as you try to catch your breath.

"You need to leave" You mumble out, voice trembling as you struggle to get the words out. Ellie simply stares as she watches you, shaking her head as she tugs her bottom lip between her teeth. "M'not going anywhere...I won't leave you again" She tries, her voice barely above a whisper. Your chin wobbles a bit as more tears threaten to spill onto your cheeks, your throat burning as you shake your head, your arms going up to wrap around your torso, as if you were keeping yourself from falling apart.

"Y-you need to get out of my house, Ellie...I can't...I won't allow you to break my heart anymore" The way you struggle to find a proper pattern of breathing and speech is a clear indication that you're on the verge of breaking down all over again, crumbling apart and letting your emotions get the best of you, and it hurts Ellie so much, she feels tears prickling at her own eyes as well.

She frowns deeply as she moves to step closer to you, watching as your head falls, staring at the floor of your bedroom, small whimpers leaving your lips. She takes the opportunity to get as close to you as she had the entire night, staring down at you for a moment before she hesitantly wraps her strong arms around your body, which results in a low sigh of relief from her, and more sobs from you.

"Can't leave you, angel...Im not making that mistake again" She mumbles softly, her words muffles as she presses her face against your head, her eyes fluttering shut as she takes a deep inhale of your floral shampoo.

And you can't even fight her off, not when your body is shaking as you sob in her arms, not when her holding you is the only thing that soothes the burn, soothes your aching heart of all the pain it had experienced, not only within the past month, but throughout the entire duration of your friendship with Ellie.

Ellie stands there for a moment, holding you as you cry, as you both cry. Somewhere within the time of hearing your soft little whimpers muffled into her shirt, tears began to spill onto her cheeks as well. Her strong arms ran up and down your back, keeping you close, thankful that you were at least letting her do this for you. Once you had calmed down a bit, you finally pull away slightly to look up into her eyes, your own red and puffy as you sniffle.

"I meant it Ellie...I can't...I won't do this with you anymore" You mumble softly, your heart swelling due to how fucking close she was. You could kiss her if you wanted to, the girl staring down at you and taking in all of your features.

She felt her heart break, because she knew you were referring to your friendship, but your words felt like it was an ending to so much more than that. It felt like she was losing her person, the one that was for her, her only love that she needed within her life.

Because she was.

She inhaled deeply, shaking her head slightly as she tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. "You know I can't leave...angel.." she hummed softly, and it made you eyebrows furrow. She felt your hands push against her waist, trying to pry your body from hers, trying your best to put more space between the two of you so that you could finally kick her out, and end whatever it was that was going on between the two of you.

And she realized, it was now or never.

"I can't do that, because i'm in love with you" she continued quickly, knowing she was running out of time to tell you how she felt. She knew that this was her last chance, and she had to use it accordingly.

The way your eyes widen as you stare up at her makes Ellie frown, because you look shocked. Is it really so shocking to believe that your best friend could love you just as much as you loved her, if not more?

You don't say anything, so she takes your silence as an opportunity to continue speaking.

"Since we were kids...I just...I didn't want to ruin things, and I always knew you deserved better than what I could ever offer, and you still do...But i'm selfish, and I can't ignore the way I feel when i'm around you" She mumbles out, trying to speak low so that you don't hear the way her voice begins to break the more she speaks about it.

You can see clearly that she's on the verge of tears, her green eyes glossing over with tears, her nose and cheeks flushing red as she bit down on her bottom lip, seemingly fighting back the tears as she squeezes your waist, trying her best to keep herself at bay.

"Im sorry..for everything that I've done...for making you ever feel like you were unwanted or undesirable when that couldn't be further from the truth...I was stupid, and I did things horribly and I've fucked up any chances I had with making you something more to me than friend...but I hope you can forgive me...because I can't...I can't do this without you" she whimpers out softly, the tears that she was desperately trying to hold back, already flowing down her freckled cheeks.

When she stares down at you, and your expression is so unreadable, and all you can do is stare back at her, she knows it's done. She knows that she shouldn't have come to bother you, and that she was better of leaving things as they were, but she can't help but feel a bit of relief that you now know the she loves you too.

And as her hands begin to loosen from your waist, and a soft sigh of defeat leaves her lips, you do something that you didn't think you would do in a million years.

You cup both your hands around Ellies face, and kiss her with every ounce of passion in your body.

It catches her off guard at first, but she doesn't waste much time in kissing you back. You can feel the way her slender fingers grip your waist tighter, desperately pulling you closer to her body as you kiss her passionately, your hands going up to wrap around her neck, basking in the love that you could feel pouring out of Ellie, and flowing straight into you.

She feels like her head is spinning, because she was sure she wouldn't ever feel your soft lips pressed against hers. You were the one that got away, and she had already made peace with that. But you were kissing her, and the passion was growing by the second, and you were slowly pushing her back towards the bed, and suddenly she has you again.

It's all a blur, because one moment you were yelling at Ellie, crying to her about how heart broken you were. Then she was apologizing to you, begging for your forgiveness, and now she's laying on your bed, with you straddling her as you kiss her passionately, slowly, simply enjoying the taste of each others mouths. Ellie's hands are roaming your body, squeezing your thighs, your middle, every where she can possibly touch you, she is. The kissing is slow, and sensual, and the sound of your tongues lapping against one another makes all of the heat in your body rush to your core.

Ellie groans softly when you break the kiss, opening her mouth to complain and pull you back to where she needed you the most, yet her words are dying down once she notices that you begin to kiss down her body.

You push her t shirt up a bit, kissing her hips gently before you settle between her legs, humming softly as you begin to undo the button of her jeans and tug them down her body. This makes Ellie frown, because as much as she can feel her aching clit throb at the mere thought of having your mouth on her cunt, she knows she doesn't deserve it. She doesn't deserve to have you there, so she props herself up on her palms, and tries to close her legs.

"Baby...wait...you don't have to-" You quickly cut her off, tugging her jeans more before you shake your head. "I've dreamed about doing this to you for years...please" you whine softly, staring up at her with wide eyes as you tug your bottom lip between your teeth. Ellie isn't strong enough for this, because you're settled between her legs, giving her the sweetest puppy dog eyes, biting down on your plush lips, and begging to eat her out. She knows she should be worshiping you, but god you are hard to say no to.

She simply raises her hips, aiding you in tugging her jeans off. She chuckles softly when she sees the way your eyes glimmer with excitement when she does this. You hum softly, leaning into her clothed core and pressing a soft kiss to it, the wet patch making you hum softly against her. "So pretty..." you hum softly, more so to yourself than her before you tug her panties to the side, far too eager to be faced with the job of taking them off.

You waste no time in pressing your lips to her soaked pussy, which forces Ellie to moan softly, her eyebrows furrowed with pleasure as she stares down at you, wanting to burn the image of you eating her pussy in her brain for the rest of her life. Your tongue pushes past your lips, lapping at her core, circling her clit, and it makes Ellie feel like she's going to lose her mind.

She feels her chest burn with a tinge of jealousy, because how the hell are you so good at that?

Your tongue pushing into her drooling hole makes all of those thoughts leave her mind instantly, and she's throwing back her head, moaning loudly for you as you begin to practically tongue fuck her.

"Ahhh...such a good fucking girl...eating my pussy so good..." her praises go straight to your core, forcing you to whine softly against her pussy. Ellie groans, her tattooed hand going to your head, keeping you close as she begins grinding against your face. "Mm..f-fuck...thats my fucking girl...fuck....wait...wait..Im close" she groans softly, trying to pull your mouth away from her. You don't budge though, eager to taste her release. You whine softly, your tongue rapidly moving against her clit. It makes Ellie groan, her eyebrows furrowing as she desperately began to shy away from your mouth, shaking her head as she tried catching her breath. "Slow down baby..I don't...I wanna cum with you..." She explains, and her heart breaks as you pout up at her, clearly displeased with her for not allowing you to finish playing with her pussy. It makes Ellie chuckle, and she slowly begins to pull you up, humming as she lets you straddle her lap. "Don't pout at me that way, baby...wanna do this right" She explained, looking up at you with hearts in her eyes, glimmering with adoration like a love sick puppy.

Her stare makes you whine softly, and her hand comes up to cup your cheek gently. "Will you let me make love to you? Is that okay?" She questioned, her voice low and soft, giving you full control of the situation, determining whether or not this would go any further.

And for a moment, you questioned what was best. You could have stopped this, crawled off of Ellies body and send her home, telling her that this was a mistake, and you should just stop being friends right then and there.

Or, you could simply let go. You could forgive her, and allow yourself all of the love you had ever wanted and craved from her, since you were a young girl. You could give into her, and let her love you the way you knew she could. Your heart still ached, and the scars that were left were still present, but they were fading, and every moment that you spent with Ellie, like this, in her arms, you felt as though she was exactly what you needed to feel better.

Ellie was mending your broken heart, and there was no way you'd let that go.

Without missing another beat, you give Ellie a soft nod before you leaned in, pressing the softest, sweetest kiss to her mouth. It makes her groan softly, because what did she ever do to deserve someone so soft, so forgiving, so fucking good.

She hums softly as she reaches behind you, undoing the claps of your dress before zipping it down and tugging it off your body, leaving you only in your panties before her. She gently pulls you against her body, your naked chest flushed against hers as she turns both of your bodies around so you were laying down with your back against your bed, and she was hovering over you.

She pulls back, sighing softly as her eyes raked down your body, taking you in like a work of art. She began tugging her own t shirt off, leaving her completely naked before you, before she reached down and snagged two fingers under the waistband of your panties, pulling them down as well.

She pressed her lip against yours, one of her hands coming down and grabbing your thigh so that your legs were spread. The kiss was sweet, and loving, and it made your head spin, distracting you from the way she began slotting herself against you, positioning her soaking wet core right against yours, the feeling making you moan softly into her mouth.

"I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you...my sweet girl.." She mumbled softly against your lips before she pulled away from you, straightening out her back a she stared down at you, one of your legs tossed over her shoulder, as she slowly began grinding her pussy down onto yours.

You had never felt anything like it. She was so wet, so soft against you, her velvety core slipping and sliding against yours, clit bumping against yours in a way that could only be described as euphoric. It made your back arch almost painfully.

Your eyes never left Ellie, because she looked like a goddess above you. Her features were so beautiful, the warm glow of the moon shining in through your window and illuminating them, so that she looked like something out of a fairytale. Her eyes were filled with love, her lips dragging against your calf, kissing you wherever she could as she stared at you, watching your every move, watching as your face contorted with pleasure.

"Look at you...you're a fucking dream...the perfect fucking girl for me" She moaned out, her hips slowly rolling, fucking her pussy down onto yours deliciously slow. You only nodded, whining softly as you grabbed her thigh, massaging her soft skin as you tried hanging on as long as you possibly could.

She smirked softly, tugging her bottom lip between her teeth as she moaned again. "You're so fuckin' cute...my pretty girl..." her voice was so low, words so slow, dripping with lust, want, need.

Love.

She was getting closer, and so were you. You could tell in the way she started to speed up, her teeth grazing against your leg as she began to get restless. Her eyebrows furrowed with pleasure. "I...fuck I love you so much...I have always loved you so fucking much" she moaned out, and this pulls a long, drawn out moan from your lips, which results in an encouraging nod from Ellie.

"L-love you so much, Ellie...always have" you whine out, struggling to form coherent and full sentences as you became prisoner to the pleasure Ellie brought you. She moaned softly, leaning down and pressing her body against yours, your pebbled nipples pressed against her own as she caught your lips in a passionate kiss.

"That's it baby...come on...cum for me...cum with me" she groaned against your lips, her hips moving faster as she chased both your orgasms.

You moaned loudly, pushing your tongue into Ellies mouth, wrapping you arms around her neck to keep her close, and allowing yourself to let go as your orgasm washed over you. It was intense, and euphoric, and blissful, and it felt like you were gettin hit by a bolt of lightening, because you felt your heart blooming with a love like no other.

It was different from the feeling of a crush, or what you thought was a love unrequited. It was hot, and electrifying and it made you feel alive again, it mended any broken feelings you had before the night had started, and even before that, and it made you feel like you were complete.

Ellie groaned against your mouth, her orgasm lining up with yours when she felt the way you pushed your tongue into her mouth, needy whines telling her all that she needed to know, that she had gotten you there, and she had shown you just how much she loved you.

You both laid there for a moment, wrapped in each others arms, trying to catch your breath. Ellie held you close, brushing the hair out of your face that had stuck to your skin during everything, she gave you gentle praises, bringing you back to earth with her. Soon, you were both tugging your blankets over your bodies, the chilly air making its presence known as it nipped away at your naked bodies.

You laid there, tangled up in each others embrace, kissing softly, and laughing lazily, exhaustion slowly taking over you both. You felt in your heart that this was all far different from the night at the party. This was filled with passion, and love, and it all started from a clean slate, where you two began to once again understand each other.

And as you fell asleep, you knew for a fact that Ellie Williams, was yours.

#ellie williams #ellie williams smut #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x you #ellie tlou #ellie x y/n #ellie the last of us #ellie x you

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just-some-random-blogger · 2 years

Note

good morning (or day), lovie!! hope you read it in the morning bc well... the 3 hours difference. truly, you shouldnt be worried about receiving my messages earlier but rather about receiving them later.. i usually answer you before going to sleep. actually, you shouldnt be worried at all yk. 'just say yes even tho you dont know him' i know him!! i learnt whos he bc of your fics!! actually, it reminds me of my cat. her name was busya which is a short name of the word means 'the bead'. but yeah, this kitty looks like that guy hdjfsk 'i felt like i was the main character' lol its amusing how THAT labour made you feel. but valid. anything you feel is ok. when i do this kind of work, i just feel irritated. (there was a big story about men being disappointment) hope you got some rest after that! and hope you still like the way you performed. i know you did your best. 'ITS SO FUNNY YOU CALL CATS WITH KISKIS' we just want some kisses from these cute monsters are we wrong for this? 'you can be my muning mingming kitty kitty cat cat' my honour, catmom!! my star hour! meow meow!! thank u!! in russian we say 'kwa or kwak' for the frogs' sounds. it's more like your variant and i think the truth is somewhere in between? for me frogs sound more like 'kwoa' or even 'qua'. but ribbit?? wtf guys?? 'WE CAN CALL IT WFAL' it sounds so ridiculous TT no really but i cant send too long messages and its title is pretty long yk. 'i love how passionate you are to vocabulary and language' no but really!! i actually curse a lot in real life. i've always been that 'smart kid' whos now burnt out and an a-marks-only student (idk how they call it). so people expect me to speak like a noble lady? its such a great number of such expressive words. why hate them for just being bad (i'm not trying to convince you cursing isn't ugly. you can think of it whatever you do. i just got carried away again TT). in general, words are only instruments to communicate with, so their meaning only depends on how a speaking person sees them. anyway, do you want me to stop cursing in the messages? 'I HOPE YOURE NOT SENDING ME MESSAGES IN EARLY-LATE HOURS' it's 5:01 in where i live. and now yk you're +3 h for me so... 'when he dies im like, u deserved it tho' god bless your nerves and god bless him. happy for you, though. and hes sexy. 'this is him he likes literature i think you’d like him' nah i dont like literature that much (sometimes i hate it) and he's not my type. but i'm happy for your luckiness! 'I WILL KEEP LEVELING HIM UP BECAUSE I LOVE HIM' omg puppy boys TT puppy boys are cute. good luck for you both!! alhaitham poor boy... hope he'll improve and will be good for you. oh i love diluc too!! i dont know him but 1) his face doesnt annoy me (im judgemental if you remember) 2) i love how people headcanon him. so hope he behaves good for you. good luck to bad luck (HAH am i funy mom) bennet. it's good you like hanging out with him, i believe your words. waiting for the girls!! 'you wanna talk about it?' not really, just wanted to share my feelings. 'i dont care about what people think about what i read' nah i'm not judging. as long as it doesnt concern me idc what you write or read. just said what i feel abt it all. i watched helluva boss in 2 days and i'm satisfied. it's good. got my approval. hell theme is still somewhat fresh and it also gives so many ways to interpret it. 'youre talking about that fic i reblogged right?' YEAH dhdjdj big brains get the hints. WOULD YOU BE SURPRISED if i said i also sent that author an ask about sugar daddy daemon after reading the other hcs about sugar daddy aegon, aemond and jace... yeah im better with my fever but still exhausted and my nose is stuffy TT every time i dont feel well the first thing to happen is my nose being stuffed *lots of angry emojis but also crying bc it hurts*. hope you do better!! how are the classes? how do you feel? whats the weather like? do you plan anything for today/sunday? love you! take care <з

hello my muning <3 T_T. i had your message on my browser but i kept doing different things LOL

LOOK AT THIS FLOOF

hope you read it in the morning bc well... the 3 hours difference. truly, you shouldnt be worried about receiving my messages earlier but rather about receiving them later..

T_T i did not read this in the morning. I saw it in the morning but again i kept getting distracted. I DID MAKE A COVER THOUGH AND IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF I SOUND SO GOOD BUT IDK I WANT TO SHARE IT WITH YOU BUT JUST WITH YOU

ok i found a solution im going to answer your ask privately for this one (: nvm theres not an option to answer privately because ur on anon T_T anyway its fine

i usually answer you before going to sleep. actually, you shouldnt be worried at all yk.

ok i wont be worried then i trust u

'just say yes even tho you dont know him' i know him!! i learnt whos he bc of your fics!! actually, it reminds me of my cat. her name was busya which is a short name of the word means 'the bead'. but yeah, this kitty looks like that guy hdjfsk

i figured you knew him cos of my fics but not really since that's all u know HAHHAH i mean unless you read a bunch of them then sequentially got an idea of what his character is, at least how i perceive him. BUSYA T_T so cute kitty a pretty black cat <3 im luv

'i felt like i was the main character' lol its amusing how THAT labour made you feel. but valid. anything you feel is ok. when i do this kind of work, i just feel irritated. (there was a big story about men being disappointment) hope you got some rest after that! and hope you still like the way you performed. i know you did your best.

i didnt perform at all lolol i hope i can next time we set up. some of my classmates got to perform. the labor made me feel like the main character because we were setting up the stage! and it was in the middle (ok not middle but you feel me) of the cafeteria and the performace was peak lunch time so we were setting up and everyone was looking (well i mean not AT me but at what we were doing collectively as a class) but still i felt like the main character cos im always hot when i go to school <3 🤩😌💅

lol everyones different if you feel irritated doing manual labor then that means manual labor is just not for you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk i think i get it from my dad i feel kind of like a sense of purpose when i build things kinda. i mean it was tiring but fun HAHAHHAH OH OMG I FORGOT TO TELL YOU THE BEST PART WE GOT 2 FREE MEALS HAHAHHAHHAHAH SLLLAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY i ate so much and then bought myself a donut

NOM NOM I LOVE FOOD

'ITS SO FUNNY YOU CALL CATS WITH KISKIS' we just want some kisses from these cute monsters are we wrong for this?

not at all. i now think russian is the superior language because of this 😔✊ english could never (although its ironic i think its superior because kiskis sound like kiss kiss which is english AHAHHAHAH)

'you can be my muning mingming kitty kitty cat cat' my honour, catmom!! my star hour! meow meow!! thank u!!

MEOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

omg look at this cat i found on pinterest

T_T WHY MY BABY BUILT LIKE THAT GIGA CHAD? IM - CRYING WHYYYYY ITS SO FUNNY BUT ALSO I FEEL BADDDDDDD T_T

in russian we say 'kwa or kwak' for the frogs' sounds. it's more like your variant and i think the truth is somewhere in between? for me frogs sound more like 'kwoa' or even 'qua'. but ribbit?? wtf guys??

T_T CRYING KWA KWAK KWOA QUA ARE ALL SO CUTE FOR LITTLE WIBBIT FRAWGS T_T

yeah ribbit is like ?????????? but nah russian fr superior for this too. since russian frog sounds and filipino frogs sounds are similar, maybe that means russians are secretly filipino and filipinos are secretly russian

'WE CAN CALL IT WFAL' it sounds so ridiculous TT no really but i cant send too long messages and its title is pretty long yk.

HAHAHAH THE TITLE IS LONG BLAME IT ON FALL OUT BOY I GOT NAMING THINGS LONG FROM THEM AHHHAHHAAH i love making obnoxiously long titles HAHAHAH

'i love how passionate you are to vocabulary and language' no but really!! i actually curse a lot in real life. i've always been that 'smart kid' whos now burnt out and an a-marks-only student (idk how they call it). so people expect me to speak like a noble lady? its such a great number of such expressive words. why hate them for just being bad (i'm not trying to convince you cursing isn't ugly. you can think of it whatever you do. i just got carried away again TT). in general, words are only instruments to communicate with, so their meaning only depends on how a speaking person sees them. anyway, do you want me to stop cursing in the messages?

honestly i dont think youve ever cursed in any of our messages yet so the fact ur telling me you curse a lot irl is pretty wow to me AHAHH. its funny how youre advocating for curse words HAHAHH i mean its pretty obvious to me that youre a smart person, but as a fellow smart person, i know that that doesnt mean youre like this soft spoken noble person LOL in fact it would make more sense if its opposite.

anyway i believe in the power of words and we manifest what we speak so i think its only natural to assume that if you speak a lot of curses you are manifesting that and i dont want that. also The words of a man's mouth are deep waters. i dont want my waters to be murky and gross ew. 👎 L

'I HOPE YOURE NOT SENDING ME MESSAGES IN EARLY-LATE HOURS' it's 5:01 in where i live. and now yk you're +3 h for me so...

T_T sleep better T_T

'when he dies im like, u deserved it tho' god bless your nerves and god bless him. happy for you, though. and hes sexy.

HAHAHH T_T justice for zhongli T_T

'this is him he likes literature i think you’d like him' nah i dont like literature that much (sometimes i hate it) and he's not my type. but i'm happy for your luckiness!

i audibly gasped when you said he wasnt your type. T_T also you hate literature? ?????? SCAMMER DOES THAT MEAN YOU JUST LOVE ME???? in that case T_T im luv u

'I WILL KEEP LEVELING HIM UP BECAUSE I LOVE HIM' omg puppy boys TT puppy boys are cute. good luck for you both!!

so true im luv him T_T

alhaitham poor boy... hope he'll improve and will be good for you.

me too. his dialogue is giving know it all so if he keeps dying on me im going to put him on my hitlist HAHAHH

oh i love diluc too!! i dont know him but 1) his face doesnt annoy me (im judgemental if you remember) 2) i love how people headcanon him. so hope he behaves good for you.

i cry for diluc im luv him i havent played his plotline yet so T_T but he's so emo if i got it right and HAHAAHAH HIS FACE DOESNT ANNOY YOU DANG AHHAHAHAHH SLAY DILUC THE PRETTIES BOY EVAH HAHAAHHA

good luck to bad luck (HAH am i funy mom) bennet. it's good you like hanging out with him, i believe your words.

i love bennet T_T i dont play him as much as i used to know because i have diluc now but i still love him <3 you are .000001 funny HAHAHHA ok ok like 1/2 funny HAHAH

waiting for the girls!!

ok i literally oppened genshin for this AHAAH

ok this is lisa. she used to be my fave i kinda grew out of her but im starting to fall in love with her again she op <3 also her general character is such a vibe AHHAAH

this is xiangling. i remember using her for the first and her level was pretty low compared to my other characters but she sLAYED regardless and i have no idea to play this game anyway so my characters are all weak (according to my brothers who play 'optimally') so yeah theres that but i love her cos she shooq me with her debut in my account

this is jean she is the general of the mondstat ting thing i havent played in so long i forgot NVM KNIGHTS OF FAVONIUS and she a boss shes one of my strongest characters /: cos everytime i wish on the banner thing to get characters i keep getting her (so i secretly hate her) but i love her she heals me and carries me and im so sorry i dont hate you my love im just T_T i dont value you because i have you T_T im so sorry jean m love

I KEEP FORGETTING TO TALK ABOUT THE CAT I STOOD THER TO SHOW YOU THE CAT IN GAME LOOK AT THE KITTY HAHAH i focused more on the cat then showing the character HAHAAHH i have to keep adjusting the camera because the dialogue option keeps appearing and ///: its annoying.

anyway this is yelan she's also op because like xiangling i played her though she was low level and she still ate more so now that ive been able to level her up a bit

anyway since i told you about the dialogue thing whatever its there now but its not even for that cat you cant talk to this cat T_T this is sayu she sleepy 24/7 and i love her for that she is my child idk i just like her cos shes such a mood and a child lol AHHAHAHAHAH she is my child i love her shes also a REALLY strong child and so adorable when she runs. i wanted another character thats a child, her name is klee, but i didnt get her so when i got sayu i was so happy

this is amber. i used to hate her T_T idk cos she was weak but then she got annoying ???? but now i love her cos i realized she was weak cos i was weak im so sorry baby hAHAAHAHHAH

this is xinyan, my bro says people hate her cos shes like a useless character in all senses but i love her cos shes a musician <3 like me HAHAHAH shes pretty weak tho so i dont use her much HAHAHAHHAHAH

lastly noelle my first beloved

i love how it took me so long to do this its morning in the game again HAHHHAHAAHh anyway i dont use noelle anymore because i have zhongli and his shield is way better than hers but she was the first person that protected me (tbh i didnt even know it AHHHAHHA i was just using her cos she was pretty man fr i have no idea how to play this game im just going with vibes and aesthetics AHAHHA) and yeah and shes a real mvp for that.

'you wanna talk about it?' not really, just wanted to share my feelings.

ok then <3

'i dont care about what people think about what i read' nah i'm not judging. as long as it doesnt concern me idc what you write or read. just said what i feel abt it all.

HAHHAHHHAHHAHAH ok

i watched helluva boss in 2 days and i'm satisfied. it's good. got my approval. hell theme is still somewhat fresh and it also gives so many ways to interpret it.

hell theme is fresh AHAHHAH babes maybe its fresh to you but works like dante's inferno exists AHHHAHAHHA (im not tryna be a know it all it's genuinely just funny to me HAHHHA)

'youre talking about that fic i reblogged right?' YEAH dhdjdj big brains get the hints. WOULD YOU BE SURPRISED if i said i also sent that author an ask about sugar daddy daemon after reading the other hcs about sugar daddy aegon, aemond and jace...

THEY HAVE OTHER SUGAR DADDIES AHSF:ASHFFH:ASFHAHF OMWWWWW HAHHHAAH. im not surprised at all. you seem to be the type to send asks. idk theres something about the idea of sending an ask that makes me anxious so yeah i rarely send asks but i have been sending more as of late because of my beautiful lovelies

yeah im better with my fever but still exhausted and my nose is stuffy TT every time i dont feel well the first thing to happen is my nose being stuffed *lots of angry emojis but also crying bc it hurts*.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡 i hope you feel better completely baby T_T i know how annoying it is to have a stuffy nose cos when that happens to me it takes so long to go away and im allergic to dust so T_T RIP

hope you do better!! how are the classes? how do you feel? whats the weather like? do you plan anything for today/sunday? love you! take care <з

i feel kinda sleep rn HASHFAS ITS 10 pm now Hhlashfdlasfh ahfalsfsa the weather is cold but ur russian so you probably would slap me and say YOU THINK THAT COLD HAHHAHHHA but yeah. i have assignments i will do tomorrow i have to watch a movie /: and im too lazy to do it but ill do it tomorrow rip. thats my plans on sunday so yeah

i love you <3

i was planning to write for wafl today but im too lazy. cant it just aslha/sf write itself T_T SO LAME FOR THAT

xxx

#anon ask #my beloved anons #modern!daemon anon #ask #modern!daemon nonnie

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renuqi · 3 years

Note

Hello could you write sm about obey me brkthers comfritng you cause youre stressing about school and you want perfect grades but its so hard and that is the knly way you learn to get love and validation so noe you dont know what to do so you just cry,cry,cry and lose motivation ...and yeah...just comfort with obey me brothers (I apologize if this is too personal hs is just so rough haha and all of my professors suck and im away from home,dont even have time to enjoy anything...anwayss i apologize for this mini vent if this is to personal just delete the request) stay safe,drink some water and ont be like me life isnt base on few grades,but i feel like my is so 🏃‍♀️💨

hi anon !! im really sorry that ur going thru this :((( school is such a bitch !! im also super sorry about not being able to write this sooner but i rlly hope you've overcome this and you happy n healthy <33 i also am going to make a part 2 so this post isn't too long

COMFORTING YOU BC OF SCHOOL WORK

⤷ lucifer, mammon, levi x gn!reader (separate)

( pt. 1 | pt. 2 )

warnings: comfort/angst,, reader strives off of academic validation (relatable :()

- [ ♡ ] lucifer

‒ knows how it feels,, so when he found you curled up into a ball in your room with your school work laid out in front of you and your soft sobs echoing through the room,,, he was quick to react </3

‒ sososo understanding

‒ will fetch you a warm cup of tea or hot coco

‒ lets you sit on his lap while hes at his desk and listens to you rant

‒ a great listener,, strokes your head to let you know he's there and he cares

Your muffles sobs echoed throughout your room, the sound flowing into every crevasse in the enclosed room. Lucifer had been ringing your D.D.D but you refused to answer, deciding to not burden him with your problems now, and just hoped he wouldn't bother you until you were no longer in a state of vulnerability. Unfortunately for you, Lucifer burst through your door in a panic, hearing your sobs as he stepped closer to your door.

"Y/N?", he whispers, stalking closer to you.

He knelt down and scooped you up, carrying you bridal style. He no longer wanted you to stay in the suffocating space of your room as it had held the horrors of advanced classes school work, and he set you down at the comfy chair in his study.

"wait here", he inquired, giving you no further information.

You obeyed his word, sitting in the big chair, sniffling every once in a while. When Lucifer returned, he placed a steaming cup of tea on the desk and picked you up to sit himself down. He gently set you down in his lap and moved one of his hands to your waist while the other was stroking your hair. His touch was delicate, holding you as you were as fragile as porcelain.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

- [ ♡ ] mammon

‒ panics

‒ hes trying his best

‒ cuddles solve everything !!!

‒ swipes all of homework off of your desk and glares at it

‒ 'you did did this >:('

Mammon had been lounging on your bed as you tried your hardest to finish your advanced classes work without breakdown in front of him at your desk. Obviously, this had failed, causing you to try to hide your tears and sniffles. Mammon noticed when he sensed something wrong and he found you constantly wiping your face with yor sleeve, and you death grip on your pencil causing your knuckles to turn white.

"Darlin'?" he stood up, abandoning his phone on your bed and walking up to you.

As soon as he was at your side, you stubbornly turned your head the other way, refusing to show him your burnt out state. Mammon gently turned your head back to his direction with the softest touch and his eyes softened at the tears dribbling down your cheeks.

He pulled you up and pointed at the bed, you simply nodding knowing that he was going to cuddle you until you feel better. On your way to the bed though, you heard the shuffling of papers and what sounded like your pencil bouncing off the floor. You turned, finding Mammon glaring at your work and stomping back towards you.

- [ ♡ ] levi

‒ HE IS SO HARD TO WRITE FOR ARGH

‒ you'll be doing your work next to him as he's playing his game and you suddenly got a notification for your grade on your latest test

‒ your fist clenched and levi could sense your tense aura and immediately paused his game

‒ he grabbed your hands and snuck his fingers in between your fingernails and palms to stop you from hurting yourself more

‒ offers to let you take a nap to calm down in him lap while he's playing

you were revising your notes when suddenly a ping came from your D.D.D. Unlocking it, you find it to be your recent test results. you bit your lip in anticipation as the loading bar was growing fuller and fuller by the second. You had high hopes, you hadn't slept for days just trying to revise enough to get a good grade on this test, that was until you saw the big red 70 percentile on the top right corner. you felt your heart drop, your breathing became jagged as you forcefully blinked the tears back into your eyes. You clenched your fists, your fingernails digging into the palms of your hand.

Suddenly, the blue head of hair turned to face you, his hands gently reaching for yours. You hadn't retracted them away, making him continue, pulling your fingernails away from your palm and sliding his own hand in between.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

You shook your head, and gave him a forced smile, he sighed in response.

"C'mere, you can take a nap in my lap to calm down."

obey me masterlist <3

main masterlist <3

reblogs n likes appreciated !!

#obey me fluff #obey me x reader #obey me #lucifer obey me #lucifer obey me fluff #lucifer obey me x reader #mammon obey me #mammon obey me fluff #mammon obey me x reader #leviathan obey me #leviathan obey me fluff #leviathan obey me x reader #ren’s writes

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yoshkeii · 4 years

Text

"𝙰 𝚜𝚑𝚢 𝚌𝚛𝚞𝚜𝚑"

࿐ character(s): Ushijima Wakatoshi, Daichi Sawamura, Kuroo Tetsurou

࿐ genre: sfw, soft/fluff, comfort, tiny angst if you squint

࿐ type: headcanons (hcs)? / imagine

࿐ requested by: @dumpsterfireinc

⌦ shymale!reader (he/him)

⌦ ‘if I can request comfort hcs for Ushijima, Daichi, Kuroo, and Oikawa who have a crush on as shy male!reader who thinks the boys should be with a girl and not him.’

A/N: i had to drop oikawa on this one since i cant seem to get his personality out?? i- uh-. i apologize- also my way of writing hcs is weird? idk why i like writing like that, but eventually they’ll shift- somehow- (i’ll probably make a proper hcs post if you want-)

1-16-2021: sorry in advanced if this took waaay to long. im doubting my writings. kinda shit but im just burnt out.

𝚄𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚓𝚒𝚖𝚊:

❀ Ushijima had a crush on you. of course he would, someone so soft, gentle, and shy. he actually found it cute you having those aspects. even though not a lot of people would enjoy such an introverted person at times.

❀ being shy would fit well together with his own personality generally. like being stoic and quiet himself. at some points he genuinely thought you and him were perfect. just two puzzle pieces that could fit together.

❀ he doesn’t know when he had a crush on you till Tendou or someone would bring it up. cause he always somehow had his eyes on you in the halls, classes, etc.

❀ adding on to his personality, he is very blunt and straightforward with his words. and when you heard those three words from the intimidating captain. made your heart skip a beat, muscles tense, and mind race.

❀ “..y-you.. like me??” the softened tone in your voice echoed within the empty afterschool halls.

❀ “Yes. I just stated that.”

❀ “..I heard you.. you dummy..” you muttered the last words softly. fiddling with your fingers nervously, he always found you fidgeting with something whenever you were nervous or put on the spot. your gaze kept low.

❀ the silence only just settled. making Ushijima await another word from your smaller figure.

❀ but he didn’t expect those words to slip out of your mouth. he never did.

❀ “Why.. Why would you want to be with me.. instead.” your voice still kept your softened tone, but it had a faint hint of sadness. the slight wavering of your voice gave way.

❀ “..isn’t it better to be.. with a girl instead? t-they’re better options. pretty. talented. i-i don’t.. have any of those.”

❀ Ushijima just stared, unsure on what to do. no one told him this would be a scenario or a possibility. thought it was simply just a yes or no to a confession, something quick.

❀ “You also won’t l-look.. weird.. o-odd.. with-” your voice cracked, tears gathered in your eyes. quickly wiping them away with a sniff.

❀ “F-fuck I’m sorry.. for c-crying..” softly cursing as you nervously laughed.

❀ “y/n,” Ushijima lifted your head gently with his hand making sure your eyes looked up at him, “..I don’t care, if people will look at us weirdly. I don’t care if they all knew or not.”

❀ he wiped the tears dripping from your eyes as you stared at him with disbelief.

❀ “I like you. No- I love you. That’s that. I love y/n, and nothing will stop that.”

❀ shortly, tears poured from your eyes from his words. softly murmuring apologizes for crying over this accompanied w/ a smile on your face. Ushijima just wiping your tears away for you, seeing how your face just melts in his hand in comfort. regaining composure after a couple of reassurances from him.

❀ “I-I.. I love you.. t-too.. Wakatoshi..”

𝙳𝚊𝚒𝚌𝚑𝚒:

❀ mans had a big crush on you ever since you both had multiple shared classes. especially same homeroom.

❀ Daichi and you had an decent relationship, it wasn’t as close like he has with Sugawara or Asahi. having the same homeroom, he always found you alone and minding your own business a desk or two behind him in the back.

❀ sometimes exchanging the simple hellos and small talk whenever Suga and/or Asahi dared him to. knowing how his eyes occasionally drifts towards your direction of the room.

❀ for someone so quiet.. he didn’t know it could be a cute feature. an adorable one if he would say so himself. just seems too s o f t .

❀ your gentle voice always made his heart skip a beat, it was so calming. a remedy to his ears. after a few small talks and interactions, you both managed to hang out a little more often. being invited on study dates sessions since you were also pretty smart in the academics (brownie points!)

❀ as of right now, his eyes were simply glued on you. just watching you talk about whatever subject. he really wasn’t paying attention... or at all. admiring your features from across the small table on the floor that was littered with notebooks, textbooks, papers and pens.

❀ he knew you were shy so he often kept things low and safe for you whenever you both hung out once in awhile. sometimes exchanging little sticky notes with each other to limit talking.

❀ once he confessed to you, through the last sticky note of his. not a manly way to really confess but he couldn’t figure anything else out for you. didnt want to scare you away.

❀ you stared up at the captain in slight doubt, going back to the note to reread the words written. ‘would you like to go out with me?’ tiny hearts here and there on the note.

❀ looking back up at him, you noticed the slight blush across his face. you realized he was serious.

❀ “..why would you want to go out with me?” your grip on the note slightly tightened, as thoughts began to flood your mind. “wouldn’t it be better- be better with a girl?? a-and.. not me.” you began to slip on your words, gaze slipping down to avoid his eyes as you noticed him looking up at you now.

❀ “..with.. a girl?” Daichi mustered out.

❀ “or.. anyone but... me. I’m not.. popular. I’m not.. p-pretty, c-cute.. handsome.. s-smart either...” you began to ramble, negative thoughts after another.

❀ “H-hey y/n. y/n..!” Daichi was closer to you now, his hands on your shoulders hoping to get you out of your negative trance.

❀ it successfully worked, making you stop but your gaze still remain low. hearing a sigh from Daichi made you tensed, you liked him too. you loved him. but you don’t know if it was best for him to date you. or be in a relationship in that matter.

❀ Daichi wrapped his arms around you, “Don’t be so harsh to yourself. I denied most of the confessions... j-just.. to ask you out one day you know. I’m confident I want you more than any girl.” he muttered.

❀ noticing you relaxing in his arms made him slightly smile, feeling you hug back. your hands grasping the back of his gakuran, mustering the urge to cry you hid your face on his shoulders. eventually muffling out your soft sobs and various ‘i love you too’

𝙺𝚞𝚛𝚘𝚘:

𝚊/𝚗: 𝚐𝚘𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚐𝚒𝚏 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚖𝚎 𝚚𝚞𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐.

❀ it was obvious Kuroo was crushing on someone. and that someone was you. being one of the assistances, or at this point the team would’ve eventually called you their manager. often there to aid and help whenever needed so you stumbled by the gym many times to either drop something off for one of the members or coaches.

❀ always teasing and flirting with you, which wasn’t such an out-of-character of him. knowing him to be the master of provocation. but often when you weren’t there, he would start talking about you. unconsciously sometimes.

❀ which gave a big sign of his feelings, especially through Kenma. it wasn’t so hard to see, but you were dense and oblivious over it.

❀ he knew you liked him back eventually, seeing how you haven’t turned him down with any of his teases accompanied with the slight blush on your face each time. you were just too shy to say anything about it.

❀ he was aware that you were very shy and introverted. always seeing you staying back or infront of crowds in the hallway and avoided them at all costs. being observant he took note of it.

❀ always managing to catch you away from people or just a little people in the area, he used that time to talk to you more privately.

❀ you both began to get to know each other pretty well each time.

❀ exchanging interests and moments you’ve had in your life. often making you giggle at his silly retorts and remarks, funny moments of his teams and others. he was genuinely seeing a new side of you.

❀ never really seeing you smile brightly and laugh without holding back. it felt surreal and a literal dream.

❀ “Hey, y/n, have you dated anyone yet?” Kuroo looked over at you, eyes staring in curiosity with his common sly smirk.

❀ “I-.. uhh.. n-not yet?” you nervously laughed, messing with the sleeve of your nekoma track jacket.

❀ “Well then.. do you have a crush?” he continued on.

❀ “O-oh.. Ye-yeah! He probably won’t like me b-back though..” you murmured.

❀ “Wait- He!?”

❀ “H-hey,, Kuroo! Keep y-your voice down please..!!” you playfully punched his shoulder in return he faked an ‘ow’ “..b-but.. yes.. i like a guy.. h-he’s popular so i doubt he would like me b-back.” you looked up at him with a weak smile, hoping to not seemed phased by it.

❀ “Ahhh.. why’s that then.” his curious tone turned stern, tilting his head into his palm so it rested comfortably. “hmmm~?”

❀ “Oh.. w-well.. he’s popular with the girls.. a lot of them a-actually. I bet he l-likes them more than me.. girls are b-better for him anyways...”

❀ “What if they weren’t? He could be gay.. or bisexual... or pan and all that jazz y’know y/n?”

❀ “Thats true.. what about you kuroo-san?” you took a sip of water from your bottle aside of your thigh.

❀ “I have a crush too of course. And its actually you.”

❀ you choked on the water, coughing out a reply, “w-wait you.. you like me.. me- back?!” you only looked at him with disbelief, coughing slightly still.

❀ Kuroo only laughed at your off-guard reaction, “K-kuroo!! I-it’s not funnyyy..!” you whined, covering your face with your jacket. “hhhh.. g-god damnit..”

❀ after a few moments it went silently, peeking your eyes out from your hidden position Kuroo pecked your forehead. Suddenly aside of you, entwining his hand with yours.

❀ “Of course I like you back~ I want you to be my boyfriend you softie.”

#at-dusk;- 🌆#folder 📁;- 𝙷𝚊𝚒𝚔𝚢𝚞𝚞 #haikyuu x male reader #haikyuu x reader #x reader #kuroo tetsuro x male reader #daichi sawamura x male reader #ushijima wakatoshi x male reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #daichi sawamura x reader #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #Ushijima Wakatoshi #Daichi Sawamura #Kuroo Tetsurou

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mueritos · 3 years

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how do u manage all of the hatred and violence towards trans people, from conservatives or terfs or ...everyone, really? i consider myself a hopeful, optimistic person, but it gets reaaaaaally exhausting dealing with a world that doesnt want me in it. ive almost achieved radical self love, im in a beautiful relationship with another non-binary person, we have wonderful plans for our future. these people really dont get to me PERSONALLY because i know who i am and i know that im literally so swag they have nothing on me! but man...all the anti trans bills? the constant terf shit in the media? the REAL WORLD things that can actually affect us? its tiring...how do you manage it?

Ah gee. Well the thing is, you never really cope under institutionalized oppression and white supremacy. You never are ever truly okay. There may be moments where you may be, but then all it takes is a quick reminder of the cruelty of the world for you to feel the weight of marginalization. The best way to manage it most of the times is to only engage with as much as you know you can.

For example, immigration is a very sensitive topic for me, and I really have to pace myself when I do research into it or have to engage with the topic for class. It physically pains me, so I try to maintain a distance from it so its not overwhelming. It’s kinda what you have to do with any other sensitive topics, like police brutality, settler colonialism, homophobia, etc and etc. There are moments where it is all you can focus on, but you have to have moments where you also refuse to look at it too.

Activists have the unfortunate burden of caring too much, and that really takes a toll on people. Im not really coping any better than any other marginalized person. I limit myself to how much news I look at. I force myself to not micromanage my school coalition. I force myself to take breaks and forget about the world. I go to therapy, hang with friends or my partner, or just find ways to ground myself. I remind myself of why i am doing all of this, but I also remind myself that I would not be much use if I was burnt out, emotionally exhausted, and mentally drained.

Its honestly just a healthy balance of productivity, activism, distance, and allowing yourself time off from everything. Cultivate a community around yourself, too, and youll find that things are much more easier to cope with too.

#pittsanswers #had this sitting for a while cuz it had me thinking #my particular issue is that im actually severely emotionally repressed #i rarely show emotion when im passionated exept when im woth ppl i kno #my brain is extremely logical but also socialized female and i have a lot of empathy #my virgo AND my infj ass?? smh #god said make that one feel like he has to save the world #i dontreally feel that but a lot pf things just feel like they fall onto me to do something sbout if thag makes sende #activism

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what-if-nct · 2 years

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hey joyce, how have you been lately? i hope you are doing well. i haven’t managed to get any asks in lately because my life has been really overwhelming, in good and bad ways. i finally got back to in person classes after being virtual for 2 - 3 years, so no more loneliness and isolation, but me having social anxiety and being introverted has kinda stunted me from going “out there” socially. i did make a few new friends tho :) *pt 1*

since the school year is wrapping up i have finals this and next week, and i am so burnt out i can’t even function properly, like this morning, i went to wrong class all the way across campus, but i was unsure if i had that class so i went back to my dorm, then stirred up the courage to go ask, only find out i was in the wrong class, so i had to walk across campus (again) to get to the right class. i did get clowned for that by my friends, but i love them anyways. *pt 2*

also i found out i’m pan, not bi because of this new nonbinary kid in one of my classes that i might have a crush on. they complimented my digital art, and said they dabbled in it too, and i’m falling so hard. i want to get to know them better before confessing tho. (sorry for so many parts, the ask box will only let me type so much) *pt 3*

i think my depression has gotten better, at least that’s what my therapist told me, and from all the walking ive been doing, i gotten in better shape, so less body insecurities, yay! this month has been a whirlwind for me,(im kinda being dramatic here) but i'm so glad my life has changed for the better. thanks for hearing me out. feel free to get anything you need to off of your chest, or just tell hhow things have been lately. be well! -🌿

I'm so happy to hear your doing better and since it's been a few years since you've been in in person classes it's understandable, it's your first time out in the world since the unfortunate events occured. But I'm sure as you get more comfortable being back around people. it'll get a little easier to be more social. I'm so sorry to hear you've been burnt out. Just breath and remember you're almost there and you'll have a whole summer to destress and hang out with all your new friends and even make more. And yes being friends first will also make any connection even stronger. And I hope everything continues to get better for you.

And I'm fine. I actually talked to a boy on the phone in the first time in a long time. And I was just giggling, curled in a ball on my couch. And he's cute and really sweet and a weird mix of the type of guys I attract. Like sweet awkward gentle anime nerd and the straight forward only here for one thing. It's interesting! He looks like Brandon from Prettymuch. Honestly in Miami the members of Prettymuch represent the dating pool here. I always end up with a Brandon, Nick and for sure an Austin. Speaking of Prettymuch I always forget they have a song with NCT Dream, pretty much about getting consent, it's beautiful. There should have been an mv cause it didn't get the recognition it deserves. Also I watched Pam & Tommy on Hulu and couldn't finish it. one, the way Pamela is betrayed just doesn't feel right. It made me angry how the actress portrayed her. Also what's with current media and the unnecessary penises I am not a prude at all. Trust me. Every Snapchat I receive is a penis I see them everyday. But like why the fuck was it talking!? And Pam didn't want any part of it that should have stopped me but I was curious. I couldnt finish it. Yo I once met a guy who looked just like Logan Paul but with brown hair. But he liked feet.....I'm not proud of that moment of my life. I'm also ashamed I know the lyrics to everyday bro. Not Logan's songs though he knows how to make catchy songs don't judge me. I could not keep a single train of thought. Im sorry. It's really nice to hear that despite some harder things you're doing really well. I'm so happy for you.

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dolliedarlin · 3 years

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hello hello hello!

how are you doing? happy wednesday! i told myself i was gonna try to message as much as i can when i’m free so here i am :)

how has school been? are exams done? how did you do? have you been able to keep up with projects/ homework? i’m sure you have, i have so much faith in you and i believe you are always doing things to the best of your ability :)

where i live right now is under a huge snowstorm and they think we may get up to 23 inches of snow. it’s a little scary but they cancelled school and other things so i’m trying to see it as time to work on homework and do some things i haven’t had time to do in a while. i’ve finished all of my homework but one english assignment, but i’m feeling a little burnt out so i’ve decided to call it a night.

the last few days have been kind of interesting lately, especially in the romance department (👀). i have a science class and have caught a cute guy looking at me a few times and i’m curious to see if that shall turn into a friendship. i’ve also been working towards getting over feelings for someone else for the last few months. it is difficult to do when they’re still technically in your life, but you never received closure over what happened. i’m hoping that things are going well for them, and i’ve decided it’s time to move on and be happier myself as well. it was a more difficult decision than i’m willing to admit, but i just want everyone to get the chance to be happy.

i’ve been working towards building up my own confidence and i’ve been working on a journey of self love lately. it has been a lot more difficult than i thought it would be as i had to do a lot of inner work and processing over situations and things. i am a lot happier than i was, but it is still a difficult journey for me to travel on. nonetheless, i will keep pushing to be the best version of me i can be :)

i hope you’ve been doing well lately and i look forward to hearing from you once more.

lots of love,

liv <3

liv, my love! hello again!

you're so sweet, thank you for always messaging me, i always love seeing you in my inbox -^7^-

i've been doing alright, thank you! my exams are over for the previous semester/teaching block, which i believe i did okay on, i'm just glad it's finally over. but now i'm in the new semester and have an additional module on imaging with a portfolio to hand in for. it's daunting but is more fun than i originally thought, despite the extra work. all i need to do is just stay on top of the content so that i don't get overwhelmed when the time comes to hand in my portfolio for it

i can't believe you think so highly of me, that warms my heart, thank you so much! i think the same of you too! you're always so hardworking and kind and considerate and all the good everyone should be made of! i hope only good things come to you <3

good job on seeing the silver lining in things and making the most out of a bad situation, i'm so proud of you for doing so much! well done, dollface! i hope you got a good night's rest after all that hard work -^7^-

oooo~ romance you say?~ i hope that blossoms into something more for you soon, but not too quickly ;) and just in time for valentines day too~ oh la laaa~ ;)))

my god, can you be any more perfect of a person? you're so selfless and kind, i hope you know that all the people who know you are so incredibly blessed to have such a beautiful person in their life. not everything is about finding that special someone but i really hope that you get that fairy tale happy ending bc you're literally a modern day disney princess <333

im so so happy for you, oh my goodness, not everyone is brave enough or has the endurance for such an arduous endeavour but i applaud you for braving it out and taking those steps to take better care of yourself and yourself up to your true potential! it's a hard journey but it's certainly a very rewarding one. you're very inspiring, you're pushing me to take that step myself! lets see what i can do from this burst of inspiration you've given me!

i can't wait to hear back from you too, hopefully things keep looking up for you, dollface!

all my love,

dollie x

#love; dollie #💕 liv

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partangel · 3 years

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Hi! Do you mind me asking where you work at? And how do you manage work and university at the same time? I may have to start working alongside studying and I’m kinda scared I won’t be able to do well on none of the two things

hello dear, sorry for the late reply! right now i work as a cashier part-time (20h weekly), im quitting after this month (& looking for something else). i've worked for most of my college degree, im on my third year and during my second and (last half) first year i worked in a customer help call center (17ish hours). im putting my answer under the cut because it got big, sorry about that! hope it helps!

i think the biggest advice i can give you is that no matter what you choose to do, try to get a job that is light in terms of physical effort. i know that most people end up working on a restaurant or fast food... do not accept it. theres a good reason thats the easiest job to land nowadays and its because nobody wants to do it due to how tiring and overwhelming it can be. i worked in that sector for 3 months, i quit after uni started. try to land something else, from call center to supermarket to clothes shop. anything else. itll still be tiring, but itll be endurable. i respect immensely my peers that do so, but its really, really challenging and as a first experience i would not recommend it to you.

in my opinion, working only on the weekends is a big motivation breaker, youll spend your week thinking of having to spend your entire weekend there. its better to just do 4 hour shifts for 5 days and have rotative free days, you are normally given one full weekend off monthly and one sunday, anyways.

this may be a portuguese thing but theres a big gap between full time students and students that work. most of the latter have trouble reconcilling when it comes to group assignments but are understanding, while the others are just straight up rude and demanding and do not understand you cannot spend 3 hours on a video chat choosing a powerpoint slide thats pretty enough. if you dont want to be stressed over group assignments, you really need to work on your assertiveness and know how to make time a productive matter, especially on groups. i would advise you to not engrain yourself completely in neither groups (normally people form groups based on that status, a lot of things change when you start working... time-wise) and keep it mixed, because while other workers are very understanding their grades are, on average, also worse, so you may end up getting worse scores. its important to know how to split functions in groups and assert yours as quickly as possible, so that you wont spend the last 3 hours of the day frantically trying to do what everyone else did not for lack of a leader. i say this because it always happens to me, even though im assertive, and it really takes a toll on you when others start to slack and expect you to juggle everything they cannot (especially when they are not even workers).

dont skip classes, im a natural skipper but dont do it. try to have at least a free day in your timetable, its better to have classes from 9am to 4pm and then work from 5pm to 9pm than to have the classes separated each day but then you have to go work anyways. its less productive, trust me (youll also end up skipping more, its harder to skip when you have many classes in a day, because it makes you feel bad. if you only have one or two classes its like "....eh", you know? we dont want one week to become a big "eh" every month). the free days are also beneficial to you because they are days you can actually catch up on your lectures and assignments or just rest. youll end up burnt out if you dont rest! + dont skip exams, just dont. dont let it add up. just go and then repeat if needed.

dont expect your grades to be as good as they once were. this really took a toll on me too but my mean grade lowered by like 0.5 once i started working. its normal... the time you probably used to study will now be filled and if you have an habit of procrastinating you'll find it really hard to adjust, especially in the beginning. to help visualize i have an average grade of 16 out of 20 (80%), but on my first year it was 16.45. all in one, id rather work and get experience and be paid, you know? but if you really care about grades itll be really frustrating and really hard to keep it unchanged: the failing can be diminute or massive, that has to do with your own input and effort. in that matter, always try to keep up with your classes weekly, because its far easier to retain information that way and then you wont have to memorize everything in the last 5 hours.

try to get a job either close to home or to uni! my work on the call center was like 1h trip and it was really frustrating because it was time i could be using to study or to rest... the closer the better, unless you are not reliant on public transport like me.

from your question i assume you are already studying so i advise you to reflect on your own journey and remain a little pessimist: always think that it may get worse but rarely itll get better, as youll have a part of your day "locked" into something that you "cant make anything out of", academically speaking. itll get more challenging, not easier! with that in mind, try to think of the type of job you see yourself doing that wont completely drain you, and always aim for something that, if not the same, is at least similar. for example, if youre someone that suffers with anxiety, being stuck in the same place for hours attending people (cashier) may not be for you and it may affect you negatively in the long run. if youre someone that tires easily (physically), a sitting job may be a good choice, even if a little boring!

about not doing well on the job, honestly dont bother it. most job functions come automatically to you after a few weeks, its just a matter of being used to. no one will expect you to not make mistakes in your first few days and everyone will answer whatever question you come up with (even if rudely). you'll definitely do well on it! pay attention and be attentive to both customers and your colleagues. you dont need to become best friends with them, but remain friendly even when they arent so. sometimes when you get on the bad side of someone you end up on the bad side of many others that you dont even know about... dont get involved on it. keep it casual and lighthearted and define your boundaries, dont let anyone treat you badly. im telling you this because ive worked in places where everyone was super friendly and helpful and supportive and understanding... ive also worked with the opposite. dont take it to heart, some like to pick on the new person just to test it out. remain calm and collected.

know your rights! you have different rights than your peers, be sure to make use of them.

i dont know if this is helpful at all, but its basically what i have learnt from experience! i also can share that the more you remain optimistic and try to see things in a positive light, the easier things come to you - in every situation. if you start automatizing negative thoughts, itll become harder for you to keep up, and youll start feeling more and more drained. lately i cant see the beauty in anything, and its really affecting, for example, the way i perceive time while working. so do try to keep an healthy, positive atittude about these new experiences, and what they mean in your own evolution as a person and maturity.

if you ask me, even if you don't financially need it, i think working and studying is something that everyone should experience: at least to understand what it means and what it takes. i think its quite awkward when people are 22/3 finishing a degree and have absolutely no working experience yet... it feels really juvenile. and i can also tell you for a fact that the people i know in that situation are indeed a little bit childish & egoistical for their age, so yeah... i think its a good maturing experience to have, even if only temporarily. be proud of your initiative!

onwards, friend! dont fret, approach this new experience positively and try your best! you'll do fine!

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cafedanslanuit · 5 years

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would it be ok to ask for hcs of the main 6 + vaderwood and how they would react to their normally energetic and funny mc being a little off and making some self-deprecating jokes (like a little too dark to be funny) as a way of coping and hiding their anxiety/depression? if not thats ok im just in a similar mood today.

self-deprecating jokes are my thing too, tbh. hope you’re feeling better! Also, I couldn’t picture Vandy for this particular hc, I’m sorry :c

Yoosung

This boy honestly loves how fun you are. He will always laugh with you and you don’t tease him that much (Saeyoung does that for you)

One day, when he comes home from his job at the vet, he finds you calling for pizza. He lets you finish the call and then you look up.

“Hey, welcome back! I accidentally left the stove on for too long and messed up dinner” you casually said, with a small giggle. “So I called Pizza Hut, hope it’s okay”.

“It’s okay!” he says. “I love pizza”

“I know, me too” you smile. You stand up and stretch your arms. “Okay, so I’ll take a shower before it gets here. How the fuck did I forget the stove on, I don’t know” you laugh. “I swear to God I would totally leave me at this point”.

Yoosung says nothing, shocked. He watches you walk to the bathroom and turn on the shower. He knows you like to joke around, but that joke had been pretty specific. Leave you? Why would he leave you? Over some burnt food?!

He waits until you come out, wrapped in a towel and hands you a cup of your favourite tea. You smile weakly.

“An award for my awful cooking?” you tease him.

“Hey! It’s just food! And you solved it. I don’t really care, MC, please let it go”. He sees your lips tremble a little bit. “Are you okay?”

You had a really rough day at work. You tell him all about it while sipping on the tea and he silently listens to you, nodding at the right times. The pizza finally arrives and he puts on your favourite show so you both can watch it. When you go to bed, he makes sure to give you extra cuddles, so you never have to feel any more pressure on yourself.

Zen

Honestly, he’s not the best at comedy. But he really likes how much you can make yourself laugh with your own jokes.

He comes home and hands you his tablet. You arch an eyebrow and look at him from the couch. He sits beside you and asks you to press play. You nod and comply his request.

It’s a video from rehearsal. He’s singing at he’s actually hitting all the notes just right. You smile softly, watching the video in silence. When it’s over, you turn and gives him a kiss on the cheek.

“You’re amazing, babe. You did the song soooo good! How can you be so talented?”

“Thank you, babe. And I don’t know, can’t help it. I’m just talented.” he shrugs, with a confident smile.

“Well, someone has to be” you responded quickly. His smiled faltered and he looked at you, confused.

“What are you talking about? You are talented too. I’ve seen your drawings, those building projects you have been working on. They’re masterpieces, MC, I love them and–”

“I didn’t get the job, Zen” you quickly answer, not looking at him. “They didn’t like those ‘masterpieces’” you added, making the colons signs with his fingers.

Oh. So they had already sent you the email.

Zen would put the tablet aside and hold you on the couch. Whisper over and over again how talented you truly are and how they were in the wrong for not noticing it.

“If they can’t see how brilliant you are, why would you want to work for them?” he asked. “I’ve been rejected more times that I can count. I know how you feel. And you know what makes me feel better?”

You look at him and shake your head.

Ten minutes later, you’re both riding on his motorcycle, feeling the air against your face. you hug him tighter and smile.

Jaehee

Jaehee’s not one for jokes. But she does enjoy the occasional laugh she has with you. You make tons of jokes, but, unlike Saeyoung, you know when to stop

“Babyyyyyyyy, I’m a mess!” you complained, stretching on your bed. Both of you were working on your laptops, when suddenly you put yours aside.

“C’mon. Help me, Excel Goddess! Can’t seem to make this thing to work and I need to show it to my boss tomorrow” you asked. Jaehee smiled softly, put her laptop aside and grabbed yours. She started typing formulas, fixing your work.

“You’re so good to me, baby. Thank youuuu. That’s why you’re the smart one here”. Jaehee just smiled, continuing her work.

“They should have taught me Excel in school instead of sports. Did anyone of my class turn out to be an athlete? No one. Are we struggling to get a job because we don’t know shit about Excel? We are”.

“Maybe that’s why I’m failing. Maybe that’s why I had to settle with this shitty job, because I can’t comprehend the monster that in Microsoft Excel. Maybe that’s also why my Computer Science teacher hated me at school” you said dramatically. Jaehee chuckled softly.

“Maybe that’s why my whole life is a mess right now. Maybe that’s why I can’t find joy in the things I do anymore, maybe that’s why my father left us. Because I’m a shitty person who can’t do Excel and can’t get a decent job”.

She stopped typing and looked over at you.

“MC. What are you saying?”

“I’m sorry. I’m just… I’m tired. Don’t think about it too much”

“I-… Do you want me to talk to Mr. Han? Maybe there’s a position and… I know C&R takes most of my time but an entry level job may be good– at least for your resumé and–”

“I’m fine. Don’t think about it, baby” you dismissed, but Jaehee grabbed your hand.

“Can’t you really find joy anymore?” she asked. You sighed.

“Happens to me when the cold weather beggins. Will go away in a couple of weeks” you shrugged. Jaehee squeezed your hand.

“Let me know if I can do anything to help you… well, find joy again”.

“You do help!” you assured her. “I can find bits of joy here” you smiled and gave her a small kiss. She smiled and kissed you back.

Jumin

Jumin doesn’t understand most of your jokes. Most of the times, you have to explain them to him. He doesn’t mind, but it’s only because he really enjoys watching you laugh at your own jokes. The sight of you giggling it’s enough to light up any day.

That day, you decided to visit him during lunch. Which wasn’t a rare occurrence, you tried to visit him at least once a week, making sure with Jaehee you wouldn’t be interrupting.

“Good afternoon, my love. Didn’t expect you here” he greeted you, giving your cheek a tender kiss when you approached him. You gave him the bento you had prepared and sat in front of him, on the other side of his desk.

“I know. I just thought your darling, loving wife might make an appearence. I do have to keep those heiresses away from you” you laughed. He smiled softly and opened his bento. “Don’t want them making you change your mind about marrying some poor girl who couldn’t even afford university by herself”.

Jumin arched his eyebrow while eating his lunch. “Is there a problem with your classes? I thought you were excited about finally attending university, even if most of the classes are online for security reasons. Are the professors not competent enough? Are they not grading you fairly?”

You laughed. “No, Jumin, classes are fine. I just… Don’t really fit with your social class, you know. I mean, I knew I wouldn’t fit, but someday’s it really… just… I don’t know. You can put a working class girl in a Channel, but you can’t really change who she really is inside, right?” you smiled weakly.

Jumin furrowed his eyebrows, visibly upset. “What are you talking about?”

Your facade disappear and you sighed. You reached out for his hand and held it tighly.

“Please, don’t misunderstand me. I love you, I really do. Nothing can change that. But I can’t– I can’t pretend I don’t hear the whispers when I come here to have lunch with you. How I listen to them mocking these nice clothes you bought for me” you said, pointing at your light blue dress he had given you. “I don’t… I didn’t grow up with these things. I must look really dumb pretending to be part of a class I’m not”.

“Who made that comment?” he asks, angrily.

You try to cover it up, but after some pushing, you tell him it’s the secretary that works two offices away. She has a desk beside Jaehee’s. Jumin stands up, not stopping when you ask him to. He takes one step outside his office and spots the secretary you must be talking about.

“You’re fired. Assistant Kang, take care of that paperwork”.

Jumin returned to his office and locked the door. You can’t believe what just happened. He walks over to you and lifts up your chin with his hand, gently.

“Don’t ever let anyone tell you you don’t belong here. Or that you don’t deserve elegant clothes or anything I want to give to you. I know you didn’t grow up the same as me, but that’s why I love you. Because you didn’t look at me and saw my money or C&R, you looked at me. At who I was. Who I could be. I want to be the best man I can be, just for you. And I want to please you, giving you anything I can so you can enjoy life at its fullest. Also, look at you” he said, taking a look at your whole outfit. “You look breathtaking. You look classy, and it’s not just the dress” he smirked, kissing your cheek and making his way to your neck, leaving you a mess of giggles.

Saeyoung

Ok, so we all agree he’s the king of dark humour and self-deprecating jokes.

And he’s used to be like that around you and sometimes you make the same jokes and you both just laugh it out.

So that day, he doesn’t notice something’s off from the start.

He’s fixing the robot cat, since it had been malfunctioning. You’re reading a magazine on the couch while he’s sitting on the floor, both of you talking on and off.

“One day you should teach me who to do that. You know, fixing stuff and such”

“I wil! But you’ll need to call me sensei during our lessons.”

“Sensei? Isn’t that japanese?”

“It is! I’ll be your sensei if you wish. But what do you want to learn to fix?”

“I don’t know. I just don’t want to be the dumb one of the relationship”

“Awww. But we make such a good pair~”

“Just because you haven’t got tired of me yet” you chuckle.

“How could I get tired of your cooking? Never!~ I swear my mouth waters just thinking about your waffles.”

You laugh. “That’s all I am? My cooking?”

“Well, also how clean you keep this, Ms. Vanderwood hasn’t been complaining as much as before” he teases you.

“Well, you know I have to keep this apartment clean and your stomach full. That’s why I’m here, right? Until you get tired of my stupidness” you chuckle.

Saeyoung looks back at you, stopping on his fixing of robo-cat. He’s not longer smiling.

“… You really think that? That I think you’re stupid?”

“Well… I’m no genius. I’m just one more secretary, I’m… c’mon. You’d have more fun with someone who’s just as smart as you. I’m just here… until my time’s done. I’ve accepted it long ago.”

Suddenly he’s over you, making you lay on the couch, pinning both your arms over your head.

“Stop! What? Stop, just stop, what are you even saying?! You are kind, compassionate, generous and the most beautiful soul I’ve ever seen. You stayed by my side when I was at my worst. You saw all parts of me and still loved me. I’m the one who isn’t worthy of someone as loving and forgiving as you. I– I could never. I could have never rescued Saeran without you. I could have never been happy or even think about real happiness if it weren’t for you. So honestly, what if you don’t know anything about computers or hacking? That doesn’t matter to me. It’s you and your heart. It’s always been about your loving heart, MC. Please, please don’t be so hard on yourself. I’ve loved you my whole life. Even before I met you. I just didn’t realize it.”

Your eyes water

damn, saeyoung i almost cried as well, you fucker

You both stay on the couch, holding each other until you fall asleep. He keeps whispering soft and warm words to your ear every now and then, making sure you never doubt yourself again.

Saeran

“i want to die” “same”

It’s so usual for you both to make dark jokes, he doesn’t really notice when it stops being a joke to you.

You’re both laying on the couch. You’re on top of him, resting your head on his chest. You can’t remember how it started, but you start joking around.

“Your girlfriend’s a mess, you know”

“She is. Have you seen her hair?” he teased.

“What the hell does she think she’s doing? Have you seen the way she dresses?”

“Total mishap. It’s like a match made in hell”

“And her voice? More like a screech” you laugh, making fun of your own voice.

“Will she ever shut up?” he sighed dramatically, smirking softly.

“Why does she think she actually make someone happy?” you chuckle. His smile disappears.

Saeran stays silent for a minute. “You’re not happy?”

are you not happy with him? has he already bored you out of your mind? are you having second thoughts about your relationship? because he’s been trying, he’s been seeing a psychologist and even though there still isn’t a big change, he— is it because there hasn’t been a big change?

“Well, you’re not” you replied in a small voice. “And I can’t– And I don’t how– Maybe it’s me?”

So, Saeran decides to try something he’s been talking about with his psychologist. Better now than ever, he thought.

“I love you”

You raise your head, looking at him in disbelief. He’s never said that before. When you started dating, he had kissed you and you had understood how it was hard for him to express feelings due to the severe trauma he had gone through, so you hadn’t pushed him but… Saeran was still looking at you, a tense expression on his face. You suddenly realized you hadn’t said anything back.

“I love you too”. You had said it before. You had told him that a million times, but it was the first time you said it back.

“I know it seems I’m not making progress– But I think I am? I mean, I just told you that, right?” he said, scratching his head, a little nervous. “He said we were going to work on expressing feelings, and it was easier to express the most intense ones.”

“Your most intense feeling– one of your most intense feelings is loving me?” you asked, still surprised.

“Shut up” he said, making you laugh for real this time.

#mystic messenger #mystic messenger headcanons #mystic messenger headcanon #mysme hc #mystic messenger hc #mm hc #mm jumin #mm zen #mm jaehee #mm yoosung #mm saeyoung #i've lost my ability to make small hcs #this turned out to be seven pages on a google doc #SEVEN #will i ever make small hcs again #idk

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rabble-dabble · 4 years

Text

The Cancer King's Court ~ The Mourning Mother

Kanaya Maryam/The Mourning Mother

This Kanaya got her happy ending.

She made it to Earth C. She married the woman she loved, started a functioning moralliegence with Vriska now that she’s genuinely interested in bettering herself, and set up a peaceful little home in the suburbs. She got John to do her a favor and take her to a God-Tier bed. No one knows for sure how long Rainbow drinkers live and she wants to spare Rose the heartache.

After a few years of being happily married, the couple decides they want a baby, so they adopt a beautiful baby girl. With Rose’s help, Kanaya makes her way through this strange thing humans call motherhood.

Young Stacey Maryam-Lalonde gives her poor mothers many scares growing up. Rose took a photo for all of then.

Rose gave her an eldritch tome when she was five. She ended up summoning a horde of the undead and Kanaya had to cut down hordes of zombies at three am. Rose agreed to wait until she’s older to give the book back.

At age eight, Stacey convinced her teacher to read The Call of Cthulhu to the class. She got suspended. Rose gave her daughter a lecture, even if she was a little bit proud.

At age ten, Stacey met her first bullies. That was the day everyone at school learned that she had a scary vampire goddess for a mother. Her bullies would never forget.

“My dear, are you certain that you didn’t go overboard?”

“You Would’ve Done The Exact Same Thing.”

“…Touche.”

At age twelve, she had to spend the week at her Uncles John and Karkat’s house. John enlisted her to help him prank Karkat. The resulting prank war burnt the house down and the two had to stay at the Maryam-Lalonde household for the week. How those two made it to adulthood, neither Rose nor Kanaya would never know.

At seventeen, Stacey graduate from High School on the high honor roll. During there ceremony, Kanaya whispered to Rose, “This Is The Best Gift You’ve Ever Given Me.” They cried. A lot.

Then cane Stacey’s eighteenth birthday.

It was a camping trip. Jade had nanaged to get Stacey interested in outdoor exploration, so she took her truck and brought her friends out into the forest. Kanaya wanted to chaperone, but Stacey insisted she could handle herself.

“Don’t You Summon The Undead Again Young Lady.”

“Moooom, I was three! I’ll be fine.”

“I Know, I Know. …I’m So Proud Of You.”

While exploring, Stacey discovered a fridge, covered in chains a locked shut.

…Then she discovered the troll inside.

It took three weeks for them to find the bodies.

Rose and Kanaya were never the same after their loss. Their friends did all they could. They paid for the funeral, offered their condolences, checked up on them whenever they could find time. Vriska moved in just to help Kanaya keep her head up. She did everything she could to be there for her moirail, even if she didn’t fully understand this motherhood thing. Even if she didn’t fully understand what Kanaya lost.

Rose turned to drinking, and that was the beginning of the end. After a painful, gradual decline, Rose and Kanaya agreed to separate until Rose can get her addiction sorted out. As Rose leaves her wedding ring on the table, Kanaya has one last thing to say.

“No Matter How Long It Takes, I’ll Wait For You. Because, No Matter What Happens, You’re The Woman I Fell In Love With.”

When the authorities reveal they have a lead on Gamzee, Kanaya decides to take her grief out on him. Vriska tries to warn her against it. She’s been there before. Angry, bitter, and pissed the hell off. But revenge blackens the soul. She learned that the hard way. Kanaya doesn’t listen.

She thought killing Gamzee would give her some kind of relief. Lift up some of the burden. At least, it would make her feel better. But… it doesn’t.

Instead she feels… empty.

She ignored her moirails advice. Her wife is still gone. And Stacey is still dead.

She thought she’d feel better, but now she’s just more lost than ever.

She sits alone with her thoughts and soon finds The Cancer King sitting down next to her.

He promises her her family back, and she agrees.

She sees the atrocities she’ll have to commit abd she agrees.

She sees who Karkat has become and she agrees.

Kanaya is… scary. She’s not the mad zealot that Gamzee is. She’s not carefully trying to avoid going to far, like Terezi or Eridan. She’s just… focused.

She takes no pride or joy in what she does. She never wanted to hurt anyone. But she will have her daughter back.

Kanaya’s relationship with this Rose is… weird. Kanaya is the oldest member of the Court next to Karkat while Rose is one of the youngest. Kanaya knows her Rose intimately, while this Rose hasn’t even met her yet. Kanaya tries not to spoil anything for her sake, aside from a few quips along the lines of “I Am Quite Sure You’ll Make Whoever You Marry A Very Happy Woman” and such. She’s pretty pissed to learn that this Rose did basically nothing wrong and still lost her timeline, so that’s some extra motivation in her tank.

You’d expect Kanaya to be pissed off with Gamzee. But… she’s not. She’s just cold and distant. It’s not like killing him in her timeline got her anywhere. But she’s still curt with him and avoids conversation. Gamzee asks some of the others what her deal is, but they only give him the basics. It’s not their story to tell. Still, Gamzee puts the pieces together and actually finds himself sympathizing a little. He gets this strange, distant feeling that he might know what it’s like to be a parent in a different timeline…

She remains good friends with this version of Terezi and Vriska. She apologizes to Vriska for not heading her advice and Vriska returns the sentiment. They all bond over shared fuck ups and The Scourge Sisters are happy to hear there’s at least one timeline where Vriska managed to turn her attitude around.

Similarly, she has a decent relationship with Tavros. Tavros finds it odd how Kanaya found her revenge unsatisfying when Tavros absolutely revelled in his.

Kanaya eventually discovers that Karkat could simply revive Stacey right now if he wanted abd tries to demand that he do so. He refuses. The King makes himself clear: you’ll get your daughter back after you help me and not a moment before.

In Kanaya’s mind, she has to agree.

“…I Am Bringing Her Back, Rose. I Do Not Know… How Much It Will Cost Me… But I Am Bringing Her Back. …You Will Always Be The Woman I Fell In Love With. I Just Hope I Am Still The Woman You Fell In Love With When I Return. …I Love You.”

evil john anon when I get my fucking hands on you

HRHRGRHGRHGRHRGHRGHRGRHGRHGRHGRGGRGRGGRGRGRRRRR

i did kanaya in a mourning mother outfits - IM GONNA CRY IM GONNA CRY - just a fade that I thought looked cool and her wings and her mourning veil - OH GOD THE TEARS IM AJHHAGRGRGARGHRGRGH - just in a little suit vest and hat and

IT GETS SADDER AND SADDER AND I HAVE NEVER FELT MORE SADDENING RAGE RIGHT NOW THIS IS HORRIBLELY WONDERFUL

the moment I read that stacey found the fridge and opened it I wanted to S C R E A M

and then the NEXT FYCKJING LINE LIHENMMMJNKLHKJHKHBFKBSHFB

WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON GAMZEE MAKARA THE BARD IN THE FRIDGE

UNSPEAKABLE INHUMANE THINGS SHALL BE DONE

VENGANCE I WANT VENGANCE *cries like a baby*

i also drew stacey BUT EVIL JOHN ANON IF YOURE OUT THERE IM GONNA THROTTLE YOU LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO THIS POOR GIRL *SOB*

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soyatenada · 4 years

Note

ooh crappiest thing ever done to me 😩😩 actually I’ll do a list since idk which one takes the cake

1. my biggest crush (wasted 4+ years of my life on that man 💀) and me talking to each other, a classmate comes up and says something along the lines of “you look like a couple/you look cute together”, he immediately screams EW NO SHES UGLY and due to my unfortunately terrible body image issues at the time I said “yeah he’s right” and laughed it off, also told me my sisters were ugly after back to school night ☠️

2. Being used as a pawn in a love triangle when I was the one that originally liked the boy ☠️ this was a different crush, 2 people in my friend group liked him and forced me to keep asking him who he liked and follow him around to figure it out and document it in a journal cause I sat next to him 💀 little did they know I had a huge crush on him to the point that he was the worst cause of my body image issues but I’m pretty sure they thought I had no chance anyways cause well 💀 I’m tall and black and the school was predominantly not that 💀 it was embarrassing the things they made me do and he called me annoying for it so I guess that ruined my chances 😭

3. My sister being mad that day and saying I add nothing to the family when I was 6? 7? and she was 14 💀 I really did feel useless for a while 😭

4. Me having some sort of phobia of something and my mom going batsh*t cause I kept having phobias so she spanked me and threw an assortment of objects at me including a chair, a large metal pot, a soda can (popped on impact lmao) and the funnies one, a box of grapes, also was about to put ginger in my hoohah but my dad came in and I was saved by the bell 😭✋

Tw//: s*icide : Oh yeah special mention to me finally admitting to being s*icidal for years and my dad saying that if I did it they (my family) would get over me 💀 like yeah bruv I know but that’s not exactly what I wanted to hear rn bro 😭

5. OOH THIS ONE IS THE ONLY ONE THAT STILL MAKES ME MAD I was defending a boy in my class cause another boy said something rude to him (I guess the boy I was defending and I were friends? My friends thought he had a crush on me but I’m guessing not from what happened 💀) and when I did the kid insulted me and called my hair “burnt ugly ramen noodles” (they were traditional box braids, I’m ghanaian 💀) and the boy I defended LAUGHED AT ME LIKE BRUV AFTER ALL WEVE BEEN THROUGH 😭✋

omg this became really long I feel like it kinda seems like I’m using this ask to vent pain but I promise I’m over most of these EXCEPT THE LAST ONE SCREW YOU SEBASTIAN 😭

im literally pspeechless

first of all FUCK THAT GUY WHO SAID YOU'RE UGLY SO NONCHALANTLY i can't even express how much I feel like tearing his throat out???????? what an immature little shit, you're gonna show him EXACTLY what he is missing out on. what an absolute ANT

second of all, FUCK your friends who took advantage of you, i hope they're happy if you know what i mean

thirdly, maybe your sis has changed now and is a better person today, but that was hella mean and abusively said and you're so strong for enduring all this bullshit wtf

fourthly: your mom throwing shit at you?? youre SO strong for being able to look back at it with such a lifted spirit?? damn i can't even do that myself you absolute LEGEND

fifthly(?) FUCK your dad, gently though, idk how much you love him but what he said makes my piss boil. the fact that you're still standing, even after your family being??? how can it even be described -- you're just so fucking fierce

and finally: FUCK SEBASTIAN, that was SO rude, inconsiderate, and DISRESPECTFUL BEHAVIOUR

dear lord; protect this anon at all costs. be with them through their troubles because their life is mildly concerning and i wish for them to be very happy. pls make sure that all their enemies may rot and disintegrate at the bottom of a sewer. bless their strong fighting soul, amen

#anon deserves better

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klaus-is-the-real-number-1 · 6 years

Text

Goody Two Shoes (Number Five x reader)

ASK:Hello! I really enjoy your writing and I was wondering if you could do a Five x reader where the reader is easily embarrassed and Five knows that and constantly teases her but even after all that she is doubtful that he likes her? Thanks again!

Thank you so much to the actual angel who requested this ur forever in my heart n should 100% hmu when u see this, hope this is what you had in mind!!! stay fresh my dudes!! (also im british but were going to pretend that five and you are both 16 in high school. idk how the system works so i hope this is ok!)(ALSO ALL OF THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY ARE 16 AS WELL AND IN HIGH SCHOOL)

A/N: woow i did not expect it to be this long, do apologise for the angst but i hope it gets better lol, love you all have a nice day and yet again thanku to the angel who recommended this i think i went a bit off but hope its a bit like what you wanted!!

warnings: swearing, fives a bit dodgy but it gets better i swear, angst, fluff eventually, probably pretty long.

words: 2246

The Hargreeves were an unusual bunch, they were all so different yet you could see that deep down they all cared for on another. Klaus was your best friend, even though you knew all the Hargreeves, you could always be found with Klaus. You and Klaus would often go shopping, have sleepovers and keep up to date with the recent gossip around school; as sad as it sounds Klaus was really your only friend and you hardly got to hang round with him at school, school was a whole other issue on it’s own. Even though you were the same age as Klaus, and the rest of the Hargreeves children, your high school pushed you up a few grades so you were sitting your final year, your intellectual ability was far above average, even being in your final year you were scoring 100% on all the exams. You had no one in your lessons that you knew, well no thats not quite right, you had Five.

Five. Five was a funny issue, just like you he had been pushed up to his final year and you were in constant competition with him, he was always nit picking at everything you do and knew exactly what buttons to press to get you angry and even upset. But for some reason, you liked him. You liked him a lot, no matter how angry or upset you got with him you just couldn’t help it, in a way he helped you achieve much more because for every snide comment he made to you, you’d just go and smash the next test that came up.

You were currently sat with Klaus in his room, it was raining heavily outside, you were painting his nails for him as he rants about everything thats upset him this week. You were only half listening to him, concentrating on holding his hand still and humming every now and again.

“You know who else has been annoying me this week? Five.” He states waving his free hand around. “He wont stop asking me when you’re next going to be round, he keeps saying things like ‘Klaus, when is y/n coming round?’ and I’ve been hearing this all week, if I didn’t know any better I think he’d be trying to steal you from me.”

“I seriously doubt that.” you say with a slight chuckle, you couldn’t even imagine Five wanting you to be around, Klaus was probably just saying this to make you feel better about your small crush on him. Klaus knew all about your crush on his brother, to say he disapproved would be an understatement. He just didn’t get it.

“Honestly y/n, I don’t get what you see in him, he teases you all the time, and too be fair he’s so fucking annoying.” You look up and laugh, he gave you a weak smile looking down at his nails that were almost done, appreciating the black glitter polish you brought with you. He was about to speak again until a voice spoke up from the door.

“I thought I could feel myself losing brain cells, but of course it’s just because you two are in here together.” It was Five, he was leaning against the door frame, a smirk evident on his face. “Y/n, you haven’t been answering any questions in class recently, I hope it wasn’t because you stuttered that one time, or maybe it was more than once. To be honest, I can’t quite remember but it was still funny either way.”

That had hit a nerve, you were always so nervous to answer questions in class even though you knew it was the right answer, it was just something that happens. Feeling your face get red from his words, he continued.

“Oh I tell you what was funny,” He stepped closer into Klaus’ room, an evil glint in his eyes. “that one time that senior asked if you had a spare pen and when you went to give him one you spilt your water on him, ha!” Klaus knew all about that story, the senior is question was fairly attractive and you really didn’t mean to, you couldn’t apologise enough to them no matter how many times they said it was fine. Your eyes begin to burn, you hated how easily embarrassed you could get, you just couldn’t help it.

“Just fuck off Five, stop being awful to her just because you fancy y/n!” Klaus said almost impulsively, covering his mouth. Now Five was the one with a red face, but not out of embarrassment, out of anger. You could see him getting angry with Klaus. Klaus would never fail to mention how Five said things he’d regret when he was angry.

“I’d rather chew my own foot.” You felt your chest getting tight, his words hurt and now you could really feel your eyes stinging.

“Sorry, I didn’t realise I was that repulsive.” You say with a quite voice, you didn’t understand how one persons words could hurt so much. You got told often by others how pretty and beautiful you are, but non of them compliments mattered to you because they weren’t from the person you wanted them from. “I’m going home.” You quickly grab your bag from the floor and push past Five, you glance at him through tears, his face looked almost regretful, but it couldn’t be.

“Y/N wait!” You heard klaus shout but you were already half way down the stairs. “Five, what the fuck!” You heard steps chasing after you. It was pouring outside, and it was at least a 30 minuet walk back to your house, but you didn’t care.

“Y/n, you can’t walk home in this.” Klaus almost begged with you.

“Please just let me go, Klaus.” You step out the front door not giving him a chance to respond.

The rain was soothing on your hot face, you couldn’t hear the rain fall on the ground though, the thumping in your ears drowned everything out, you couldn’t believe Five, he’d never gone that far before.

‘shit.’ Five mumbled to himself once he heard the front door slam, he didn’t mean to say that, he was so angry at Klaus for telling Y/N his secret, he didn’t know what to do. He knew he was always a bit too harsh on y/n, he just didn’t know how to handle his feelings for them. He’d never met anyone who could challenge him and win, y/n was the only person who beat him on any tests you had in school, the only person who could distract him enough to completely forget the world around him.

“Five!” he could hear Klaus getting closer to him. “What the fuck? why do you have to be such a dick all the time! You always ask when Y/N is coming over then you go and upset her, every time, you say you fancy her and go do shit like that every damn time, you won’t have any chance with her if you keep going.” Klaus was angry, really angry. “And you know what Five? I hope you don’t get with her, she’s my best friend and she deserves better.”

Five knew what he meant, he could see that. She did deserve better than him. Five just looked down, clenched his fists and disappeared. A flash of blue and he was gone. Klaus almost wanted to scream, y/n was the best person he’s ever met, it’s almost as if he can’t have anything to himself in this house. Klaus slammed his door, hard, he was done with Five, always asking how to win y/n over and then completely ignores any advice he gives and he gives good advice. He told him everything from her favourite music to her favourite plants and trinkets.

It was now Monday, you and Klaus had been face-timing almost all weekend as you always do, he hadn’t mentioned anything about Five and you were grateful. You were waiting for Klaus just outside the Academy, it was a sunny day so you knew during all the breaks you and Klaus would probably be outside basking in the sun. You heard the door open and you look up expectantly.

“Hey y/n.” It was Five, he was in a crisp suit as he was always. His eyes burnt into yours.

“Oh, is Klaus almost ready?” You ask, keeping eye contact with him, not letting him intimidate you.

He goes to speak but gets interrupted by Klaus, you smile at him wearing a leather skirt and a crop top and dark eyeliner. He graciously links arms with you and pulls you off, you spare a look at Five behind you and you see him with clenched fists walk back into their mansion of a home. You and Klaus talk about his new fascination on one of the senior boys in a few of your classes, Dave, you and Dave occasionally talk in classes and Klaus practically begs you to get his number for him. You would try and do it for Klaus but you didn’t know if Dave liked boys or not but despite the facts, Klaus still begged you to get his number.

Once you get to school, you and Klaus head to your locker, the entire time he wouldn’t stop talking about Dave, you notice a small piece of paper thats slightly crumpled. In small, seemingly rushed writing, was ‘y/n x’.

“Recognise this writing?” You ask Klaus. He looks at you cheekily, without a second thought he snatched it from you.

“Hmm, I wonder what it says?” He says sarcastically as he opens it to read it aloud, reaching well above you so you couldn’t reach it. “y/n, sit with me in physics? -A x” He paused. “Who’s A? Wait, isn’t it that senior you spilt water over? Wait y/n!” He excitably garbs your arm, hitting it many times. “He sits next to Dave! y/n you’ve got to sit next to him, not just for you, but for me.”

You grabbed the note and shove it into your pocket, you just sigh and agree, if you weren’t going to do it for yourself, you’d do it for Klaus and his weird obsession with Dave.

You say your goodbyes as you make your way to physics, you felt nervous, you usually don’t sit with anyone and just get your head down to get your work done. As you walk into the lesson you see him sat in his seat, you smile and go to sit next to him.

“Nice to see you got my note.” He beams, he was cute, but not Five cute. You couldn’t wrap your head around how he acted this morning when Klaus practically dragged you away from him. He looked almost sad when you didn’t respond. Speaking of the devil, Five walked into the class, calculating eyes scanning the room until they land on you, his eyes then move to the boy next to you causing his eyebrows to furrow. You’ve never moved seats since you started the class. You turned to the boy next to you and started a conversation about the assignment thats due in soon, you hear a chair behind you scrape. The chair where you’d usually sit, a quick glance confirmed that it was Five, you did what any reasonable person would do and completely ignore him, all lesson. You feel his eyes in the back of your head all lesson, only to get worse when the boy next to you leant over and whispered a joke into your ear too make you laugh, and it did.

Five couldn’t believe it, y/n shamelessly flirting right in front of him. He filled with anger every time he’d look at her, when they’d touch legs, give each other little looks but the worst moment was watching him lean over and whisper something into y/n’s ear and she laughed. Y/n laugh was almost like heaven, soft and quiet, Five desperately wanted to be the one making y/n laugh.

You had two periods free, you began your walk to the schools library, as you do every Monday, you’d pick a book that you haven’t read and begin to make an attempt at it and even though you hated to admit it, it was your favourite part about Mondays. But suddenly, you were pulled to the side and in a flash of blue you were gone, and just like that you were stood in a room in front of the very person who said he’d ‘rather chew his own foot’ than be with you, the person who has continuously tried to put you down since you first met him, your crush, Five.

“What. The. Fuck. Five!” You say angrily at him, you repeat the phrase, pushing him away from you when you said it. All he did was look at the floor. “You can’t just teleport me whenever you want, honestly, if you’ve genuinely just brought me here to have a go please just leave me be honestly. What the fuck.” You emphasise the last words.

“Let me explain, please?” You just crossed your arms at him, waiting for whatever response he could give you. He just sighed before continuing “I’ve been an asshole to you, I know I have, it’s just,” He paused, looking at you, “You might not believe me when I say this, but I like you, y/n” You saw the vulnerability in his eyes. “And I don’t expect you to forgive me right away, but please let me make it up to you, everything that I’ve done. I promise I’ll do anything.” You looked at him, and you saw the real him, all his cards out on the table. You let your arms drop and look down.

“Promise?” you say sticking your pinky finger out, childish, but he knew that you took them very seriously.

“Promise.” Five said as he interlocked your pinky fingers. You smile, hoping he does keep his promise.

Six months later, Five had kept his promise. You were sat on his bed finishing off work before your finals, soft music was playing in the background. You quietly hummed to the tune of the song, Five was laying his head on your shoulder, lazily watching you neatly write out equations.

“Wheres Klaus?” He asks as you set your notes to one side.

“He’s on a date with Dave.” You lean into Fives arms, he just hummed in response.

He pulled you down onto the bed and wrapped his arms around you, you listen to his heartbeat, the soothing beat sounding like music to your ears. You feel him press a kiss to your forehead, you were glad he kept his promise and made up for everything that he’s done. Five slowly gained your trust by just sitting with you in lessons to start with, then to dates at Griddys, picknicks, meals out and eventually you saying yes to being his girlfriend. It took Klaus a while to accept your new relationship but he eventually came around to it, especially since you got him Dave’s number. You were happy with Five, you close your eyes and get even closer too him, just as you fall asleep you hear him whisper.

“y/n I think I’m in love with you”

#the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy imagine #the umbrella academy x reader #Number 5 #Number 5 x reader #Five hargreeves #Five hargreeves x reader #Five #Five x reader #Number 5 imagine #tua #tua five #tua x reader #requested #i yet again hate this but i hope yall like it #thank u to the angel who requested this #luv u all stay fresh #my works

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