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tgmsunmontue · 3 months

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With our pets, a house becomes our home

5k Hangster MeetCute (Explicit, but not very by my standards). Bradley is the vet (DVM) that Jake takes Brisket to after he adopts her and moves to Corpus Christi to be a flying instructor.

I started this fic before I saw @yeagrave's art, but this post is 100% Jake's lockscreen (and those are a set of Jake's spare dog tags).

Monday mornings generally suck. The people who have left their pets wellness until normal business hours because they didn’t want to pay the extra emergency fees. He quietly judges them. This Monday sucks more than most though, because he’s covering another vet on what is meant to be his day off. But he doesn’t want to make the admin staff have to reshuffle the thirty or so appointments that he now has facing him in a long gauntlet of monotony. Hopefully there will be something interesting that pops up.

He deals with the standard checkups, listens to heart murmurs, administers vaccines, makes notes for the techs, gives instructions about diets he knows get ignored by owners who think they know better. He has to change his scrubs when a dog vomits on him and yeah… he wants his day off back with a deep burning passion but pushes through. He can shower and blob when he gets home and bitch and moan to his friends. They can compare Mondayitis stories and see who comes out worst.

He steps into the waiting room, and there’s only two people left, one a woman with two kittens in a carrier, and the other a man cradling a puppy. He’s only got one left for his ticket today, and it’s a puppy so okay, at least he gets to look at a cute puppy and a cuter guy.

“Brisket?”

The guy blushes and Bradley can’t help his smile getting bigger as he gestures toward the consultation room.

“Uh, hi.”

“Hi, I’m Bradley. What brings Brisket in today?”

“She needs a general checkup, and I wanted to register her with a vet since I moved here in the weekend… She needs vaccines I think? And to be fixed? And I wanted to ask some questions?”

“So she’s here for the works… can I have a look?” Bradley asks and the guy blushes again, looks down at the tiny bundle who looks back at him adoringly and Bradley has a thing for guys who like animals. Couldn’t be with anyone who didn’t like animals, wouldn’t feel like he could trust them. He hands the puppy over to Bradley and he handles her gently, lets her lick and sniff at him a little before lowering her to the examination table.

“Tell me about how you got Brisket,” Bradley says, running his hands down the little body, grinning as she happily licks his fingers, tail wagging enthusiastically. She’s very sweet. Most guys like having big dogs, so he’s genuinely curious as to whether this guy chose this dog, or if he’s here at the bequest of someone else. Girlfriend or boyfriend maybe. Purely out of professional courtesy.

“Uh, I’ve wanted a dog for ages. Finally getting settled in one place for a while so I figured it was finally time you know? So I went to the shelter in San Diego, not really intending to adopt then and there…”

“She’s a rescue?” Bradley says, and he’s a little surprised. Because if they’re not big dogs then they’re usually little dog breeds, so some hybrid-cross-breed that some breeder thinks will be in demand. This little thing hadn’t looked like any breed he was familiar with, but there’s so many new ones and he’s not usually up with them all.

“Well yeah, of course. She just had such a friendly personality you know?”

“She is very sweet natured,” Bradley agrees, because the guy is clearly besotted with his puppy, and it’s adorable. He listens to her heart and lungs, takes her temperature and soothes her through the discomfit.

“So did you have paperwork showing what she’s already been vaccinated for? Most shelters give you adoption paperwork?”

“Oh, yeah, they did. One second,” the guy says, pulling folded pieces of paper out of his pocket and handing them over. On the top of the paper are all the details of the dog, and then down the bottom the details of the new owner. Jake Seresin. At least he has a name now.

“Okay, so she’s all up to date with all the vaccines, she’ll need to come back in six weeks for a booster. And we don’t do on the spot spaying or neutering, you’ll have to make an appointment when she’s a little older. Try not to let her out unattended, because we don’t want to be adding to the puppy population, regardless of the fact that she’d no doubt make gorgeous babies…You a first time dog owner?”

“I grew up on a ranch, had lots of animals. Horses mainly. Well, beef stock. But lots of working animals, not pets. She’s my first.”

“Well, you made a good choice. She’s got a lovely temperament. Nice and healthy,” Bradley states, laughing as she tries to chew on his thumb and he reaches for a dog toy from the jar. “Okay, so she’s going to be mouthy, she’ll want to chew on things as her adult teeth come through. You might find a couple of puppy teeth lying around but they usually just swallow them. It’s all normal. You have any questions?”

“Uh…I… um. Made a list.”

“Sensible,” Bradley says, and this guy’s adorable intensity is commendable, he wished more owners thought to ask their vets the questions rather than trusting Google.

“You’ve, uh, already answered a few of them actually.”

“That’s good, what else have you got?”

He asks about diet and exercise, sleep and routines, anxiety and separation and toilet training and Bradley answers them all, writes down a few notes and links to some reputable websites. Recommends a puppy obedience course, steers him away from problematic dog toys which can cause more harm than good. The appointment definitely runs well over the time, but it’s his last of the day and he’s got nowhere else he’d rather be, and after the day he’s had this is a nice silver lining.

“Anything else I can help you with?”

“No, I think that’s it. Thanks so much, it’s really helped.”

“You’re more than welcome. I guess I just have a question for you now.”

“Of course, what is it?”

“I don’t usually do this, but you want to grab a drink sometime?”

“A drink. Like…A date?”

“Yep.”

“Yeah. Yeah I’d like that.”

“Great, let me get a card.” He grabs a business card, usually reserved for when he goes to conferences, carefully prints his personal cell phone number on the back and hands it over. “I look forward to hearing from you.”

… … …

Jake gets back to his house and immediately lets Brisket out into the back garden, looks at the little rectangular piece of card and puts the number into his phone before he loses it. He puts the name in as Bradley but then follows it with the flame emoji, followed by the guy with the moustache and then the dog emoji. That’s enough to remind him of who exactly Bradley is. Not that he thinks he’s going to need the reminder.

He spends some time looking at the websites Bradley has recommended, sends an enquiry about the puppy obedience classes. He’d already made an appointment for the booster shots and for getting Brisket fixed. Definitely doesn’t want to wait that long before seeing Bradley again. He grins. Only in town for five days and he’s got a guys number. Without even trying. Phoenix told him a puppy would help him make friends, that he needed as much help as he could, maybe she was onto something.

Hi Bradley. This is Jake. Let me know when you want to do that drink. I don’t start work until next week so currently free as a bird.

It’s not too late, and it’s been a couple of hours. He’s not going to play hard to get. He’s never considered himself hard to get when the guy is as attractive as Bradley is, and he’s never been one to play games or overthink setting up dates or hookups. He’s hoping this is maybe more than a hookup.

I’m free most evenings. Tomorrow? Dinner?

Jake grins, likes the idea of dinner even more than a drink, it’s a good sign; sends a message back, organizing a time but asking for recommendations of where they could go to eat.

… … …

They settle at a table and quickly peruse the menu before placing orders with the hovering waitstaff. They’ve made superficial small-talk about the weather and how Brisket is doing, but he’s hoping he can find out more about Jake himself.

“So you’re new to the area?”

“Uh yeah, I guess. I lived here a while back but am back for work.”

“And what do you do for work?”

“I’m in the Navy. An aviator,” Jake says, like he’s a little unsure.

“You’re shitting me…” Bradley says with a disbelieving laugh, because he’s had a guy tell him he was a naval aviator before. Except he hadn’t been and the lie had quickly bitten the other guy in the ass when Bradley had quickly realized and called him out on it. It had been a shame because Bradley had genuinely liked him.

“Why would I lie?”

“Well, some guys think it’ll sound impressive…”

“Isn’t it?”

“Well… maybe to some guys,” Bradley concedes.

“Not you?”

“No. Not to me. I’m more impressed you adopted a rescue, travelled across country with it and care about your puppy than what you might or might not do for your work.”

“Most people care that I disappear for months on end. Or have a thing against the military in general.”

“Huh,” Bradley states, realizing that that was maybe where his hesitance had come from. “I’m used to people being away for long periods,” Bradley states. Jake raises an eyebrow. “Sorry. I’m just… I was a Navy brat. Sort of.”

“Sort of?”

“Yeah. Grew up on bases, spent most of my life on them. We probably know some of the same people, if you’re actually a naval aviator…” Bradley says, still giving him an out, because maybe this guy is not realising the hole he’s dug.

“How do you figure?”

“My dad was a naval aviator, and until very recently my godfather was also a naval aviator, although he’s recently retired. Although I don’t think the Navy will actually ever get rid of him. He’s pretty entrenched.”

“Yeah, what’s his name?”

“Pete Mitchell,” Bradley provides, and Jake’s immediate response makes him relax a little. That’s definitely recognition of the name.

“Maverick? Mav’s your godfather?”

Bradley opens his mouth, snaps it shut again. Not just recognition but more than that. He's calling him Mav. Of fucking course he knows Mav, and he hadn’t used his callsign so this guy is legitimately a naval aviator.

“You know Mav huh?”

“Yeah. He’s… damn. He’s fucking insane but so good. He was brought in to train us and he’s just… that good.”

“Don’t let him hear you say that. His ego doesn’t need to be made any bigger.”

“He deserves his ego, he’s fucking legendary.”

“You sound like a fan.”

“Yeah, I guess I am. He’s… worthy of fans.”

“Yeah well, he’s my godfather. So there you go.”

“Wait, are you little goose?”

“Oh god…” Bradley groans.

“You are!”

“Yeah yeah… this is quickly losing the date vibe.”

“Sorry, I can bring it back to that,” Jake says, and his hand is suddenly resting on Bradley’s, warm and dry, fingers stroking the back of his hand.

“Yeah, think you better or you might strike out…”

“Wouldn’t want that…” Jake says, and his eyes are dark and amused and Bradley feels a little thrill at being the subject of his intense gaze.

“So, you’re an actual naval aviator.”

“Yeah, no wonder you aren’t impressed if you grew up hearing about Mav’s exploits. Fuck.”

“Trust me, I find you plenty impressive.”

“Good to know,” Jake says, his smile clearly pleased. “I’m one of the new flight instructors. Have a three-year stint here and Kingsville unless they need me for something special.”

“Nice. Do you like teaching?”

Their conversation changes as they talk more, discussing what their upbringings were like, their families, respective careers, all of Bradley’s current animals, favorite food and drink. It’s easy, their humor similar and gently teasing at times, making laughter come easily. It’s one of the best first-dates he’s ever had and it’s not until there’s a polite cough that he looks up to see the rest of the restaurant is empty, the waitstaff having clearly cleared up and are now just waiting on them. A quick glance at his phone tells him it’s nearly midnight and his mind bugs out a little.

“Shit, sorry. I guess we got caught up talking.”

“It’s fine.”

He grabs the bill, leaving a generous tip for keeping them and tells Jake he can grab the bill next time, which has him murmuring next time huh under his breath, close to Bradley’s ear as they walk close together as they step outside. There are only two cars left in the lot and he guesses the staff must park somewhere else. He walks Jake to his car, only a few yards from his own truck.

“I had a really good time tonight…” Bradley starts.

“Me too. Wouldn’t mind doing it again…”

“What are you doing Saturday?”

“Having dinner with this hot guy I just met…”

“What a weird coincidence, so am I…”

He shifts forward, eyes searching Jake’s face to make sure there isn’t any hesitation before placing a gentle kiss on Jake’s mouth. He pulls back slowly, his lips quirking in amusement when Jake quickly gives him another kiss back, slightly firmer and longer and he feels the flicker of warm anticipation come to life in his belly. Potential something.

“Don’t suppose I can tempt you to come back to my place?”

“I’m definitely tempted, but I’ve got to get home. Dogs.”

“Oh yeah, of course.”

“Bring Brisket on Saturday. She can meet the pack…”

He doesn’t want to mention that Jake could also bring all her gear, as well as a spare toothbrush for himself.

… … …

They’ve been messaging since dinner on Tuesday and Jake feels completely settled into his house now, he’s driven to both Corpus Christi and Kingsville to familiarize himself with the routes. He’s taken Brisket to her first puppy obedience class, figured out the most convenient grocery store. All week he’s been looking forward to Saturday, packs some things and leaves them in has car, so if he needs any of it they’ll be close at hand. If it’s effectively a sleepover backpack for him and Brisket that’s between him and Brisket.

He pulls into the drive of the house address Bradley had given him and looks at the tall fence that surrounds the back garden, can already hear barking and he looks down at Brisket who is sitting there, ears pricking forward at the sound of other dogs. He gets out, grabs her bag of stuff and carries her toward the house, glad she at least seems curious about the barking rather than terrified. He rings the bell, eyes widening at the sudden increase in barking and then Bradley is there, smiling at him behind the wavy glass of the door. Immediately the barking ceases, although there is a small yap, and then the door opens.

“Hi. Come on in.”

“Hi. Uh. Are you sure she’s going to be okay?”

“Trust me, if anything she’ll rule them with an iron paw… feel free to put her down.”

Jake doesn’t particularly want to, but Bradley is looking expectant, as are the five dogs who are all sitting and waiting obediently. He knows they aren’t all Bradley’s dogs permanently, that he’s fostering three and dog-sitting one, but he can’t remember which one is which. Most of the dogs are normal sized, one is huge though, and he wishes he remembered which one Bradley said was his. Then a cat walks in and insolently stalks in front of the line of dogs and collapses at Bradley’s feet.

“Curtiss,” Bradley states, waving a hand at the cat with a sardonic sigh. The fact that none of the dogs have moved, except one, the largest, whose tail had started wagging enthusiastically makes Jake feel more confident about putting Brisket down. She is nowhere near as disciplined as any of the other dogs. Hell, the cat is probably more disciplined than Brisket, despite the fact it is a cat and takes direction from no one. Understandably she runs from him to Bradley, then to the cat, then back to Jake, then takes turns running to and around each dog and prancing playfully, like she expects them to play with her.

“I’m going to give them the release signal and it’s going to get chaotic, but just trust me okay? They’re well trained.”

He believes it, but sure enough in less than a second there’s barking again, six dogs suddenly all barking and then they’re running and Brisket is chasing after them and Bradley grins at him.

“I gave them the signal for outside. Brewster is too big to not be well trained, and he generally gets all other dogs quickly following his lead.”

“What kind of dog is he again?”

“A Leonberger. He was surrendered to a local shelter because the owners couldn’t afford to keep him. He eats a lot. He went unadopted because of the costs associated with feeding him, raft of potential health issues as he aged and because he had zero training. I’ve had him for five years now.”

“He’s massive,” Jake says, and he knows he’s stating the fucking obvious but when Bradley had said he had just the one big dog, he had never imagined this. He’s pretty sure Brisket is the size of one of his paws.

“Yep. But as I said, he’s very well trained. I work with him every day as well. Come on, I promised you dinner.”

“You cooked?”

“I did, but it’s only one of the five meals I can make, so don’t go thinking I’m accomplished or anything.”

“As long as it’s edible.”

He takes the offered beer, watches as Bradley dishes out some pasta dish along with some garlic bread and then directs him to sit at a high bench on bar stools rather than at the dining table.

“We don’t want Brewster putting his mouth into our food, at least up here we have a slightly better chance of protecting it.”

“I thought you said he was really well trained?”

“Not when I’m eating food. All bets are off if I’m eating.”

Jake laughs and just like it did on Tuesday, conversation flows easily. Bradley can follow his work talk easily, obviously used to Navy talk because of Mav, his own work stories are equal parts hilarious and terrifying. He’s attentive, giving Jake his full attention and he finds he likes that a lot more than he thought he would. They finish dinner, Bradley quickly stacking his dishwasher before feeding the dogs. He watches as Bradley holds their attention before giving them the signal that they can eat and he can’t help but be impressed. He’s pretty sure Brisket is only going to have to look at him and he’s going to cave to her every whim. He does try and look like he’s not a complete soft touch in front of Bradley as he feeds her, but he doesn’t think he succeeds.

They go into the back lawn and throw balls for the dogs, starting an elaborate game of keep-away for about twenty minutes before Bradley offers him dessert. He wants to ask if it’s Bradley himself on offer but doesn’t, instead takes the bowl of fruit and ice-cream and makes himself comfortable on the sofa, apparently safe from Brewster as he’s afraid of the scent of fruit. There’s a collection of boardgames, none of which he’s familiar with so he asks about them and learns that it’s another of Bradley’s hobbies.

When they’re finished he follows Bradley back to the kitchen, notices it’s much quieter, almost dark outside and there’s no more barking and he looks around, suddenly anxious.

“She’s just over there…” Bradley says, his lips twitching with a smile and Jake’s not sure if he’s laughing at him or… oh. That’s fucking cute. Brisket is curled up on Brewster, she’s somehow managed to climb up the almost mountain like body and curl up on top of him. He grabs his phone and snaps a photo, and then a few more because one is never going to be enough.

“She’s all tuckered out… You going to wake her up?”

Jake looks up at Bradley’s tone, and his eyes are hooded and Jake feels an immediate jolt of arousal spark through him.

“No… she looks far too comfortable. Think I need to go to bed too…”

“Yeah?”

“Definitely. Show me the way…”

… … …

They’ve not talked about what they’re doing, not in the actual physical and practical sense. Not in terms of sex and he’s definitely been raised in a house with the rule of if you can’t talk about it you shouldn’t be doing it. Which actually only goes so far when you really don’t want to share details of your sex life with your surrogate parents, or hear anything about theirs. He does agree in principle though, and there’s only one way to find out. Conversation hasn’t been difficult between them so he doesn’t expect this to be awkward either. He shifts slightly so he can rest his head on his hand while his other hand runs up and down from Jake’s shoulder to his hip.

“Anything you don’t like?”

“Uh…”

“Anything you do like? Or prefer? I’m easy…”

“Lucky me.”

“Can I touch?”

“Yeah…course.”

Bradley lets his hand rub Jake’s cock through his underwear as he kisses him, enjoys the feel of Jake’s body moving against his hand, body and mouth. Jake’s free hand runs through the hair on his chest, then his shoulders, down his arm before there are blunt nails digging into his ass; then finally a large palm rubs his cock far too fleetingly to be anything more than a frustrating taste before it starts back at the beginning.

“This okay?”

“Yeah, look, if you do something I don’t like I’ll say something okay?”

“And if I do something you like?”

“Actually, you could work on that a little bit more…”

He kisses him hard then, grinds their hips together and palms an ass cheek in his hand, holding Jake tight against him.

“Yeah, fuck…”

He shifts, pushes Jake back to lie on his back and then straddles one of Jake’s thighs. He runs both hands down Jake’s naked chest, leans down to kiss him again, hands on either side of Jake’s shoulders. Jake looks good, is confident with it, Bradley can’t help but find it attractive. He shifts a little, Jake’s hands are all over, hips lifting up to try and rub against him and Bradley would tease him for being impatient but he is starting to feel the same.

Their breathing is getting shallower, and he kisses over Jake’s collar bone, licks a little into the slight dip in his clavicle and assumes it’s a little ticklish from the way Jake laughs a little. He runs a hand down Jake’s side, his mouth moving down his chest but his eyes are on Jake’s neck and mouth, muscles taut and mouth open as he breathes harshly. He’s clearly given up waiting for Bradley to pay attention to his dick, has his own hand rubbing himself, occasionally detouring to rub Bradley’s dick as well. He moves his mouth over Jake’s pectorals, sucks gently at one nipple, wanting to know if this is something Jake –

“Fucking hell,” Jake exclaims, body jerking up as if electrified and Bradley pulls back immediately.

“Good or bad?”

“Good. Do it again …”

Bradley grins and seals his mouth around his right nipple again and sucks, flicking his tongue over the harder nub of flesh in his mouth and Jake’s entire body arches again and Bradley can’t believe how good he looks. How good he feels.

“Fuck, why does that feel so good?”

“Lots of nerve endings…”

“It was a fucking rhetorical question…”

He snorts, lowers his mouth back and presses down with his lower body at the same time, wants to give something for Jake to grind against, push him toward climax. Jake is reading his body easily, his hips angling slightly to thrust against the juncture of his thigh and hip, hands both on Bradley’s lower back urging him closer, pulling him down and Bradley lets a little more of his weight press down. The moan Jake lets out is gratifying and he reaches a hand between them and presses harder, feels the dampness from where he’s leaking pre-come.

“Lube?”

“No, I like it a little, uh, rough… you go ahead though, if you want…”

“Nope, I’m all good…”

His lips are red and swollen and Bradley wants to make him look like this all the time. He runs a finger under the elastic of the underwear and then Jake’s hips are up and he shifts back and out of the way. Watches as Jake pushes them down and he can’t actually get them off with the way Bradley is half-kneeling over him, one thigh between Jake’s legs. He shuffles down the bed. Drags his hands down Jake’s legs, tugs the underwear off before moving back up, placing gentle kisses on knees, thighs and hips before he licks up the length of Jake’s cock, kisses the head and lets his moustache scrape against the skin gently. Jake is shifting, clearly wanting to move more but holding himself back and he’s got far too much control for Bradley’s liking.

He wraps his hand around Jake’s cock, a little firmer than he would usually, but Jake had said he likes it a little rough. He jerks it steadily, watches as Jake’s eyes squeeze shut, mouth opening in a silent gasp and he keeps going. It’s been a while, but he knows how to multitask and he wants to hear and see what will happen next. Knows getting Jake off is likely going to make him come as well. He settles his mouth over the same nipple he’d sucked before, and it’s a little pink, and he sucks again. The resulting words from Jake’s mouth are nonsensical in between loud gasps for air and what he recognizes as his name. He doesn’t say anything, can’t really, with his mouth busy sucking intently. His hand has sped up and he’s resting a fair bit of his weight on Jake’s leg, partly pinning Jake beneath him and his cock is hard and leaking. One of Jake’s hands is fisted in his hair, holding Bradley to his chest and then his whole body goes taut like a rubber band being stretched before it snaps back and then Jake is coming all over his hand and he gentles the sucking to more gentler licks and swirls of his tongue because it’s most likely going to be a little bruised.

“Ungh… fuck…”

He doesn’t bother moving very much, just shoves his own underwear down enough to take his cock in his hand and jerk himself off, hard and desperate to come, no need to try and make it last longer or hold back. He moves enough to kiss Jake and he feels a hand try to come and help him and while he appreciates the intent it isn’t something that is even a consideration right now, he’s too close and he doesn’t need much…

“Bradley…”

Yeah, that’ll do it. He comes with a groan, his come joining Jake’s on his stomach. He rests his forehead against Jake’s neck while he tries to steady his breathing. Their breathing is the only sound he can hear outside of his body, heartbeat pounding in his ears, waits a moment before he lets out a long shuddery breath and kisses Jake on the chin.

“You okay?”

“What’s that saying, ask a stupid question?”

“Get a stupid answer…”

“Yeah.”

He grabs some tissues, passes the box to Jake and they wipe themselves clean and he feels fantastic, hopes Jake feels similarly. He kisses him, takes the dirty tissues from his unresisting fingers and lies down beside him.

“Stupidly okay. You?”

“Yeah. That sounds about right. Damned good for a first run…”

“Mmm. Imagine what it will be like when we’ve got a few more test runs behind us.”

“Always room for improvement.”

“That’s very true… I’m just going to go and let the dogs out but I’ll be right back. If you wanted to stay that is?”

“Yeah, staying sounds good. Just… uh. Brisket normally sleeps on the bed with me.”

“Think she’s found a new bed.”

“Lucky for me I won’t be lonely I guess.”

Bradley grins.

… … …

2 MONTHS LATER

He’s running a little late, but not by a lot. He’s messaged both Jake and Mav to say he’s running a bit behind due to a surgery requiring a bit more time. He walks into the restaurant and spies them sitting at a booth near the back, tells the hostess he’s with them and raises his hand in greeting as Mav is standing to give him a hug.

“Bradley!”

“Hey Mav, good to see you,” Bradley says, returning the tight embrace.

“Good to see you too. You’re looking good. This is… Jake.”

Bradley leans down and gives Jake a kiss, takes his time and licks into his mouth.

“Hi.”

“I hope you don’t meet everyone that way…”

“Only my boyfriend Mav,” Bradley says, laughing. “You didn’t tell him?” he asks Jake.

“Nope, one of my joys in life is keeping him on his toes,” Jake says, grinning at them both as they sit. Mav is rolling his eyes and huffing, but Bradley can tell he’s a little pleased. At least he knows now why Bradley really didn’t care about him inviting someone else along to dinner.

“How long has this been going on?” Mav asks, looking between them with interest.

“Couple of months,” Bradley provides.

“You move fast,” Mav says to Jake dryly.

“What can I say? I know a good thing when I see one.”

“Plus Brisket loves me.”

“She does have exceptional taste.”

“Much like her owner. Although don’t you get the names mixed up? Brisket, Bradley and Brewster? There’s definitely a theme there…”

Jake blinks, looks at Bradley and he just shrugs.

“We could get a couple more pets and name them Brownie and Bruno and you’d have the whole set.”

Jake laughs, eye brow quirks;

“Sounds like a plan.”

#Hangster #Sereshaw #Top Gun Maverick #Top Gun Maverick fanfiction #AU where Bradley is not a Naval Aviator

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justhere4kpop · 10 months

Text

Forever

Wooyoung x Single Mom! Reader

Your life gets flipped upside down when you take a new backup dancer job at KQ Entertainment, you lied in your interview how will you get out of this one?

Genre: Mostly Fluff, Some Angst.

Warnings: (?) Angst, Mentions of cheating, self-doubt, and arguing.

w/c: 8715

a/n: Ahhh the longest one I've written so far!!! Oh god, I really hope it's good and that you guys like it, I've never written anything this long and I'm so scared to post it hahaha. I feel like even as long as it is it might feel a little rushed. I have no idea....it took me a long time to write anyways so any and all feedback is welcomed. Okay AH! Enjoy, please!

tags: @cromernet @starillusion13, @jaehunnyy (for you Chippie)

Masterlist

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Do I wake up every morning with my hair in every direction, toothpaste foaming at the mouth, a stained t-shirt and pajama pants, and a toddler crying because I can’t hold her? Not every morning…sometimes I don’t get to brush my teeth before breakfast. Today was a really important day for me though and I absolutely could not bring my screaming toddler to my first day as a backup dancer at KQ Entertainment.

“What do you think Sweet Pea? Pancakes for breakfast?” I looked at her. “How about some fruit too? Grapes, Cantaloupe?” she smiled.

“Mama!” she pointed at the plate.

“I know I know they’re coming.” I flipped the stove on and kept brushing my hair. This is what I get for letting her try to braid it last night. “I knew I should’ve prepped last night.”

Of course, the day was going to be crazy, I’m a ball of anxiety there’s no way I couldn’t be.

“Do you like the melon today? It’s in season so it should be nice.”

“Juicy.” she smiled. “I like it!” she raised it in the air.

“I’m glad, maybe I’ll get more the next time we go to the grocery store.” I ate with her and wiped her mouth when it got to be too much.

“Are you excited to hang out with grandma today?” I picked up her plate so we could go wash dishes together.

“Grandma is coming?” she looked at me.

“Yes, are you excited?” I looked down at her and pulled her step stool up since she insists she can ash her own dishes.

“Mmmmm I dunno.” she shrugged and I chuckled.

The doorbell rang.

“Hi Mom, thanks for watching her again.” I sighed opening the door a two-year-old attached to my hip. “Saja, say hi to grandma.” I nudged her and she hid behind my shoulder. My shy little girl.

“Oh still shy as ever I see. Does she talk to anyone?” my mom chuckled.

“She’ll talk to me, especially when she gets upset…she’s just nervous around people. In fact, we were just talking about you coming over.”

“Oh, how fascinating.” she smiled.

“Okay let me just show you around really quickly to make sure you know where everything is. It’s been a while since you traveled here and I really appreciate it.”

I gave her the tour around the apartment, sure it wasn’t big but it was enough to stress me out, and have trouble keeping clean. Important numbers on the fridge, obviously call me if there’s an emergency. Snacks in one cabinet, dry food in another, what she likes and doesn’t so far, what she likes to do all day, hopefully, if the weather is nice they can go to a park. I went to get ready while Saja was distracted and put my bag together.

“Where we going?” she asked and patted my bag by the front door reaching for her shoes.

“Unfortunately today Pumpkin you have to stay with grandma while Mama goes to her first day of work.” I pushed the hair out of her eyes.

“But-”her eyes gazed over. “But I wanna go.” she pouted and big tears started forming.

“It’s just like that time that mama had to drop you off at daycare for the first time sweet pea, remember how much fun that turned out to be. You met Junie, and Kiri.”

“But I no want mama go.” she hiccuped.

“I know baby, I’ll be back before you go to bed I promise. Probably even before dinner ok.” I hugged her and spun her around. “It’ll be hard today, but easy tomorrow ok? Just gotta trust me.”

“Otay.” she wiped her eyes. “Promise come back?”

“I promise. I’m not ever leaving you.” I kissed her forehead.

And so that’s how the first day of the rest of my life began. I got to KQ, nearly died from exhaustion on how much they taught us that first day, raced home to be there for my kid before she went to sleep, and did it again for months, some days it was picking her up from daycare, sometimes my mom would take care of her. Of course, I made some work friends who wanted to hang out but I couldn’t… I can’t just go drinking after practice, I have to get home to watch the new episode of Octonauts, read bedtime stories, and make sure her “homework” (coloring.) is done.

“Oh come on y/n, come out with us.” Jaeun begged.

“I-I really can’t, I have to get back home.”

“What do you have a kid or something?” he teased.

“S-Something yeah. I um…just a tight schedule and I’m trying to make ends meet.”

“Oh second job?” Eun suggested.

“It’s just important and I can’t just…I don’t really have free time. I’m sorry, I really do want to but I have so much to do…” I bowed. “Thank you really. I appreciate it every time you ask me. I’ll see you around.”

I started to leave when a voice spoke up next to me.

“Nice work today y/n.” came the calm cool voice of none other than Jung Wooyoung.

“Th-Thank you Mr.Wooyoung.” I said again with a bow.

“Maybe they can’t convince you out but could I?” he quirked an eyebrow…..Is he flirting with me?

“I’m s-sorry I really have to go.” I picked up my bag and left. Did Jung Wooyoung just talk to me….and ask me out? Are you kidding me? I can’t get…I can’t.

“Mama.” called out the small voice waiting by my front door.

“Hi baby.” I picked her up and smiled once more. “I missed you too.”

“You look upset.” my mom said looking me over.

“It’s ok Mom, maybe later.” I didn’t want to talk about it in front of Saja. “For now, let me see what you learned today?”

“Color!” she ran over to the table after I set her down and started telling me the names of the colors.

“Wow look at you my smart girl.” I smiled and looked at the drawing she made of the rainbow. “Definitely going on the fridge today.”

“Yay!” she smiled and went to pick out the magnet for the drawing.

“I got asked out for drinks again.” I sighed.

“I would’ve watched her honey, you can go.”

“It wasn’t just by my coworkers this time…it was one of my bosses….I don’t know I’ve maybe bumped into him like 3 times but I haven’t really ever had a conversation with him and I…I couldn’t say yes.”

“Why not, it’s been a while since you had a date.”

“Mom I’m not really…dating material…I have a kid and…I don’t know.”

“y/n, you should try it…just…take a chance.”

“Maybe….I’ll…I’ll think about it mom.”

“I just want you to be happy kiddo, and to not feel so alone.”

“I’m never alone…but it would be a little nice to…think about some help…Mom he doesn’t want kids! What am I even saying.” I sighed.

“This one!!!” Saja ran back in with a rainbow magnet for her rainbow drawing. “I want dis one.” she smiled.

“Okay that one it is.” I smiled and took her rainbow to hang it up. “And so now which one is your favorite color?”

“Yellow.” she smiled.

“Good choice.” I kissed her head. “Come on let’s get ready for bed.”

I got her into her yellow duckie pajamas, we washed our faces, and we brushed our teeth and read together, she’s trying new words but also told me what color each things were. My smart girl.

“Goodnight Princess.” I whispered and kissed her head leaving the room.

“y/n.” my mom called me over. “I really want you to think about having fun with your friends.”

“I will mom…I…They don’t know I have a kid and I just, I don’t know wouldn’t it just be weird I’m suddenly the mom friend.”

“Honey, you already act like a mom because you’ve always been the mom friend.”

“I just don’t want to get hurt again….I don’t want Saja to get hurt again.” I looked back at her door.

One year ago, it was raining, I’d just gotten fired from my job for falling asleep in a meeting because my good-for-nothing partner wouldn’t take care of his own child at 2am. I came home to a screaming Saja, no furniture except her bed and mine, and a letter on the counter with photos of my worst fear….he was cheating on me this whole time. At least he had the decency to leave his keys. I was so scared I called my mom and that night I did the only thing I could hold onto my screaming one-year-old and cry too. I just wanted the best for her, unplanned or not she deserved as much love as I could give her. In some small ways, she tried too, if she saw me having a bad day after I couldn’t find a job she’d offer me a snack, if I fell asleep while we were together she’d curl up next to me and stay put so I could sleep. She was truly one of the best things if not the best thing to happen to me. I just wish I could give her a good life where she doesn’t have to worry about things at 2 years old…she shouldn’t see me cry already. Now the opportunity was knocking on my door, figuratively of course…Just the prospect of a date was terrifying, could I really let someone in like that again?

Jung Wooyoung is nothing but consistent…consistently a pain in my ass, he really doesn’t quit I mean at first it was every other day he’d ask if I was busy after work, but now it’s twice a week…he won’t stop…He’s famous, he’s…he’s an idol he wouldn’t want anything to do with me if I said I had a kid. He’d leave me alone…can I really expose myself like that? What if I get fired? I really need this job…Christ, what am I going to do? Just keep saying no he’ll give up and move on. Right.

“Oh you’re just mad someone actually said no to you Wooyoungie.” San teased his best friend as he pouted at another failed date attempt.

“It’s the way she carried herself, and that she always looks after the others, I mean I’ve seen her make sure everyone has water before drinking herself, and if someone looks unwell she’s the first one to check on them.” Wooyoung groaned flailing on the couch.

“Didn’t know you had a thing for moms.” Hongjoong chuckled.

“What do you mean?”

“She’s a total mom friend making sure everyone else is taken care of.” he smiled at the younger one, rejection never looked so good on someone.

“You could’ve just dated Seonghwa if you were into that.” Mingi spoke up.

“He’s not my type.” Seonghwa flipped the page he was reading.

“No you’re not my type! I’m everyone’s type!” Wooyoung stood up flabbergasted by the thought. “Jung Wooyoung is everyone’s type.”

“Just don’t catch a harassment case.” Seonghwa sighed. “I like her a lot, she’s kind.”

How could she say no to Jung Wooyoung so many times, he’s charming, handsome, funny, super attractive, sexy, cute, hilarious, and a dance machine. Maybe he should start with…

“How about lunch?” Wooyoung smiled.

“Hmm?” I looked up at him.

“Come get lunch with me.” he nodded.

“Oh um I-”

“You never want to do anything after work so why not during, we get a long enough break, I’ll even buy for being a pain in the ass so much.”

“Really Mr. Wooyoung I’m flattered but I have my own, it’s alright.”

“You seriously have to stop calling me Mister, I’m not that old and I’m not even your boss.” he smiled. “Just have lunch with me…us really a group of us are going.”

“I……okay.” I said sheepishly thinking about how much my mom is going to yell at me for not going.

When he said group I wasn’t expecting all of Ateez to be the group. Oh god, do I look okI should really sit like Six feet away just in case there’s cameras and does my breath smell ok?

“Hi y/n!” seonghwa waved. At least he was kind….they all are I don’t know what I’m saying.

“H-Hi Seonghwa.” I flushed and waved back sitting at the small metal table with them, the chairs dragging on the floor causing the shrill sound to ring out.

“Guys this is y/n…the one rejecting Wooyoung.” he smiled.

“Okay so not cool!” Wooyoung yelled. “I finally get her to come down to lunch and you embarrass me.”

Lunch with Ateez was becoming a regular thing, every week now I’d go with Wooyoung and we’d chat and…I almost felt like another member, sure they did this with others but it felt really special…I felt special. Mom was right I do need more friends. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I just let go and got to know Wooyoung.

“Like a good mother.” Hwa chuckled.

I did a spit take. “Sorry! Just inhaled too much water.” I coughed and my phone started ringing. “Oh sorry I have to take this.” I got up to answer around the corner.

“Mama!” the voice came from the small face on my phone.

“Hi Pumpkin are you having fun with grandma?” I smiled.

“Grandma makes Tteokbokki like you! But not as yummy.” she smiled and held it up.

“Oh? But I learned from grandma so shouldn’t hers be better?”

“Oh now you know it was your grandmother that taught you this recipe, I can’t cook to save my life.” she chuckled.

“And who’s that?” came a voice from behind me.

“Shit!” I jumped and dropped my phone.

“y/n? y/n?” my mom spoke.

“Mama?” Saja called out.

“S-Seonghwa. I-”

“So you are an actual mom?” he smiled.

“N-No I-....I um…it’s my niece and I” I felt the anxiety creep in, I got nauseous and I could taste the bile in my throat.

“Can I see her?” he smiled and sat next to me and picked up my phone but face it away in case I said no.

“Mom I’ll call you back ok. Saja it’s ok.” I smiled lightly at the phone and hung up. “Am I fired?”

“Fired??? For what? Did you steal a water bottle too?” he smiled. “Those are free.”

“No for…for lying about not having a kid.”

“It doesn’t matter that you have a kid pabo.” he picked my face up. “Why’d you hide it?”

“I really needed the job, it’s just me providing and…I didn’t want to be turned down because I have a daughter.”

“I see…y/n you were hired because you are insanely talented and can dance circles around any of those guys, mom or not. I think they wouldn’t have been making you stay so late if they knew, it’s important to be there for a child too.”

“I really need this job Seonghwa.” I felt the tears fall.

“You’re not losing your job honey I promise. It’ll stay between us….only if you let me say hi.” he smiled.

“I…” I picked my phone up and called my mom back. “Hi Mom, um…sorry my um…my boss scared me and he…yeah.” I nervously handed Seonghwa the phone.

“Oh that’s not who I wanted to say hi to hi Mrs. (l/n) you’re very lovely, I wanted to meet y/n jr. though.”

“Oh Saja, come say hi to Mister??”

“Seonghwa.” he smiled waiting for the small child.

“Hi.” Saja said smally as my mom came down to her level with the phone. “Mama??”

“I’m here sweet pea.” I called and peeked over Seonghwa’s shoulder. “Hi baby, what’d you have for lunch?”

“Potatoe.” she said getting quite shy at the man looking at her.

“And?” my mom prompted. “We tried pajeon, and Kimchi for the first time.”

“Kimchi?” Seonghwa smiled, “how exciting. Did you like it?”

“Spicy.” she frowned.

“Maybe we’ll try radish Kimchi she likes crunchy things.” I nodded. “I should get back to my own lunch honey, anything you want to say to Mr. Seonghwa?”

“......pretty.” she blushed looking away from the phone.

I think Seonghwa short-circuited he nearly dropped my phone.

“I’ll be home after work okay, be good for grandma, bye mom, thank you.” I smiled softly and hung up. “Mr.Seonghwa?”

“You really are ana amazing person.” he smiled and hugged me. “Next time we’re meeting in person.”

“Wouldn’t that be unprofessional?” I questioned.

“I don’t care that little ray of sunshine is getting spoiled by her uncle Seonghwa now.” he smiled.

If Seonghwa could’ve felt the eyes burning into the back of his head at the glare Wooyoung was sending the older man he’d probably be dead. I on the other hand couldn’t process what just happened…everything felt so strange, letting Seonghwa in on my secret…I wasn’t sure I liked it but it was…nice to let something out.

“And what were you two talking about?” Wooyoung questioned as we sat back down.

“Nothing, I was just making sure she was ok.” Seonghwa shrugged like nothing happened.

“Sorry just a weird phone call. I’m okay.” I nodded and looked down at my lunch.

“Aww cute!” Wooyoung pointed out the note Saja had wrote for me. “Where’d you get that.”

“Must’ve came with the wrap, I didn’t notice.” I looked at the scribbles that I’m sure were supposed to be words but what really made me tear up was the heart, it was mishapen and wobbly but it was her.

“Hey? Are you sure you’re okay?” Wooyoung lifted my chin up before the tear hit the paper.

“Yes, I’m ok.” I looked at him and blushed a bright red.

“Promise?” he held out a pinky for me. Saja does the same….

“Promise.” I whispered and let a few tears fall.

That’s where my relationship with Wooyoung took a turn. I noticed the small things at first…the little notes in my bag, the heart on my water bottle, and getting me lunch, or a snack, he always came to talk to me during breaks, and we always sat next to each other if we could during things, bus rides to venues for performances, meetings, anything. It all felt so nice. I felt…happy. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to give him a chance…even just one.

“Hi cutie!” Wooyoung yelled over the phone as I answered.

“Hi Woo.” I smiled lightly at the phone and walked out to the little patio I had.

“Why so quiet?” he questioned.

“No reason. Just enjoying the peace.” I had just put Saja down and I didn’t want to risk her waking up.

“Listen I was thinking-”

“Isn’t that a dangerous game.” I chuckled cutting him off.

“Come to dinner with me?” he smiled. “Please?”

“I-”

“Before you say no! Just…one chance, look I know you said your ex was terrible and left you with nothing but I just…y/n you’re great, and smart, and wonderful, and beautiful, and…and amazing…please…just one date so I can stop my terrible attempts at flirting. I’m running out of pick-up lines to use on you.”

“Wooyoung I….”I looked back at the apartment and a cool breeze wrapped around me sending a shiver down my spine. It would be nicer to try having someone else around. Was I ready for him to know everything? “Dinner sounds nice. Maybe Friday?”

“Friday.” he smiled, you could hear the grin. The wonderful grin followed by his melodic giggle.

Maybe we can try again…maybe this time won’t hurt so bad. Maybe he’d stay.

You’re getting too ahead of yourself y/n. Just one dinner, and maybe it’ll be okay from there, just take it one day at a time.

Friday came quicker than I’d like and I still had no idea what to wear, what to do, all I knew was my mom was excited and I felt like I was going to throw up again.

“You know Saja likes watching him perform onstage, she says he moves the most like water.” my mom smiled. “She gets so happy seeing you on the tv.”

“I know…she asks to watch a performance before we go to bed usually.”

“Aren’t you excited?”

“No…I mean I am but, god this could go horribly wrong.”

“But it won’t, I’ve seen the little notes, you have this boy smitten like he’s a teenager.” she chuckled.

“Yeah but eventually I’m going to have to tell him about Her.” I motioned to my daughter.

“How do you know he doesn’t like kids?”

“I didn’t say that, but he has been thinking I’m just some poor single woman this whole time Mom, and I don’t know how to bring that up, Oh hi by the way I’ve been lying to you for 4 months, and actually have a two-year-old, hope that doesn’t change anything.” I groaned and pulled on the black cocktail dress I had picked out.

“Honey, I don’t think it will…you trusted Seonghwa with saying hello.”

“That was over the phone and this is different mom…this is a…potential love interest, you know a maybe boyfriend, Seonghwa is no more than a potential babysitter and even that’s a maybe.”

“I think you should let some people in…it’ll be good for you to have more than just me for her. Also I have plans for tonight”

“I know you’re right mom I just…. MOM!!! And you didn’t tell me!” I groaned and picked up my phone. “Fine.”

“Just giving you an extra push dear.”

“You are…I swear!” I hit dial.

“Hello?” the voice on the other end of my phone croaked out.

“Hey, could you…do me a favor.” I sighed.

“So you want me to meet your daughter, and babysit her while you go on a date with Wooyoung?” Seonghwa questioned me as I stood with him in the hallway.

“Yes…because my mom forced this…”

“How so.”

“She ‘made plans’ or whatever so now I need a babysitter or I have to tell Wooyoung I’ve been lying this whole time.” I sighed.

“Hey hey okay, I’ll do it.”

“I figured since you brought a goodie basket.” I eyed the stuffed animal behind him. “Saja.” I called out coming back inside. “Come meet Seonghwa.”

Seonghwa could barely contain himself waiting to meet my two year old.

“Mama?” Saja hid around the corner.

“Hey sweet pea, it’s okay…remember him, he’s from the tv.” I held out my hand for her and she walked over to hide behind me.

“Hi Saja.” Seonghwa said calmly and in a quiet tone getting down to her level. “I’m Seonghwa, I work with your mama, remember we talk on the phone.”

“....pretty.” she blushed.

“She remembers.” I pat her head. “Why don’t you show Mr.Seonghwa the painting you did.” she nodded and ran to go get her newest art piece and came back over, she stopped and looked between me and him before taking a cautious step forward.

“Oh my goodness, look at this.” he smiled. “Okay let’s see….a cat?” she nodded. “Wow what a beautiful cat. What’s his name?”

“Rainbow.” she said quietly.

“Rainbow? What a perfect name.” he smiled. “And is mama going to hang it up?” he looked up at me.

“Yes” she smiled and ran off to find the magnet.

“She likes you, I promise, she’s just shy at first.” I breathed. “I have to get going I don’t…want to be late.” I looked at her in the kitchen.

“I promise nothing bad will happen.” Seonghwa tried reassuring me.

“Last time I left her alone with a man he took everything and left.” I brushed him off and grabbed my things.

“Y/n” Seonghwa placed a hand on my shoulder and I tensed up. “I understand, but you deserve some help, and some fun.”

“She’s all I have Seonghwa.”

“Y/n I promise she’s in great care, I wouldn’t dream of hurting either of you.”

I sighed. “Saja. Come give mama a hug please?” she came running over with a new magnet for her cat drawing.

“Where go?” she questioned holding her arms up for a hug.

“Mama is going to go see a friend because she really likes this friend ok? It’s called a date.”

“Date?” she questioned more.

“See when two adults, like mama and her friend like each other more than just friends, which is a very complicated feeling to understand even for adults, they go out to do things together, like eat dinner or watch a movie.”

“Why?”

“To see if they like each other’s company more than other people.” I smiled. “However no one’s company is better than yours sweet pea.” I kissed her nose. “So you stay here and play with Seonghwa and Mama will be back later, like when you stay with Grandma.”

“Are we go on a date too?” she whispered.

“Sure.” I smiled and she was blushing as I put her down. “Have fun okay?”

“Yes ma’am.” Seonghwa smiled and Saja walked back over to her table.

My phone dinged again and I made my way out and downstairs to Wooyoung and his very expensive car.

“Didn’t know you could drive.” I raised an eyebrow,

“Very recent, you look beautiful” he smiled.

“Thank you.” I blushed and he opened the car door for me. “Not so shabby yourself sir.”

“Thank you.” he smiled and closed the door gently and mumbled to himself he told me what he said later was “Wow she looks beautiful.” however I think “okay rizz master Wooyoung, you gotta work.” sounds more like what he actually said…don’t let him tell you otherwise.

“So I was just thinking a quiet dinner without all the noise from the guys and maybe a walk?” he smiled.

“Sure, I’m just along for the ride.” I nodded. “It’s been a while since I’ve done this so you’re going to have to carry me along.”

“Don’t worry I’ve got you.” he smiled.

Throughout the course of dinner I learned that work Wooyoung, friend Wooyoung, and date Wooyoung are three very different people. He seems different.

“Yeah no order whatever you like.” he smiled and gestured to the menu.

“I’m not used to this kind of stuff.” its usually chicken nuggets and mac and cheese…why am I suddenly craving it…or pizza, I could so go for a pizza right now.

“Well only the best for you.” he smiled nervously. “How am I going to pay for this?!” he thought to himself.

“Right.” I swallowed nervously and looked at the menu. There aren’t even prices listed. “Wooyoung?” I looked up at him over the menu.

“Hmm? Yes, oh did you have a question?”

“Have you ever eaten here before?”

“Oh yeah loads of times!” why am I lying??”

“What do you recommend?” I blushed a little, I knew he made good money but…I don’t know this seems a bit much.

“Well there’s the uh Hakarl.” he said and pointed. “That’s good and then the Bird’s Nest Soup.” he nodded.

“Oh okay. Why don’t you pick for me, I mean I want whatever you’re having.” I shrugged. He knew what he was talking about.

“I don’t have a clue what I’m saying! What did I even recommend!” he yelled at himself.

When the waiter came back he ordered for us and we left it at that, I finished my glass of wine and looked around at some of the dishes…they all looked interesting…to be kind…I don’t know if I can do this.

“Um excuse me.” I pulled a waiter aside and asked about the dish he had just served. “What did she order?”

“Ah that ma’am is the Bird’s Nest Soup” he smiled. “You see the saliva turns hard-”

“Thank you.” I interrupted and turned back to Wooyoung. Saliva? “Wooyo-”“Y/n” we both said at the same time.

“You go first.” he gestured.

“Wooyoung I really appreciate this but I…I can’t do this…this food is…it’s way too much for me.”

He sighed….here it comes.

“Thank god.” he breathed out. “I really didn’t want to find out what the other thing I ordered is.”

“Can’t we just go get a slice of pizza? Like normal?” I looked down at my hands.

“Please.” he stood up and walked over to our waiter talking to him before handing over his company card and explaining everything. “Let’s go before they bring it out.”

I nodded.

What started off horrible and scary turned into something magic, we found a place by the park close to my apartment and got three sliced of whatever pizza sounded good and just sat in the park. Much more my speed, much more…relaxed.

“I just wanted to impress you.” Wooyoung looks down at the slice of pizza in his lap. “I thought…maybe you’d like it if I took you somewhere special.”

“Who says Pizza isn’t special?” I looked at him but his eyes were turned down to the ground. “Woo?”

“I just….I really like you, especially the more I’ve gotten to know you, you’re kind, and gentle, and just…you’re absolutely wonderful y/n and I really fucked this up tonight.”

“Hey.” I nudged him. “Hey” I said a little more sternly and lifted his chin up to meet his gaze. “I’m still here aren’t I?....I appreciate that you think I deserve some fancy restaurant where we sit 10 feet away from each other and the menus don’t have prices and we’re waited on hand and foot, but…that’s not my speed. I prefer picnics and pizza and bullet train sushi and…fried chicken, and mac and cheese, and stupid little fruit cups.” I smiled at him. “I like it when we have lunch together and we eat ramen or tteokbokki, or even rabokki!”

“I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for Wooyoung.” I kissed his cheek. “I’m having a great time eating pizza in my favorite park with my second favorite person on the planet.”

“Who’s the first?”

“No one you need to worry about.” I chuckled and blushed.

“Ahhh your mom then.” he smiled. “Thank you…for not letting me feel like I completely fucked this up.”

“Quite the contrary, you’ve shown me that I really mean something to you…I mean that place was faannncyyyy.”

“You do mean something to me.” he looked into my eyes and there was that intensity that he had when he was dancing. The look of “I’m doing this and no one can stop me.”

“Thank you.” I rubbed his cheek.

You know how it goes, he walked me home, I got the third degree from my mom on how it went…except Seonghwa joined in, I tucked my two year old into bed and then…I had a full moment in bed in my pajamas where I squealed and kicked my legs and just…he kissed my cheek and held my hand and and and…pizza. Yeah. I could…I could get used to having Wooyoung.

It was just like any other day, it was warm and sunny, Wooyoung wanted to go out on a date and we decided another park date, kimbap which of course he made, in fact he made all of the food we ate, mandu, rolled omelet, potato salad, some pajeon, and finally because this obviously isn’t enough food for two people he also made my favorite cucumber salad . I really am one special girl.

“Woo this is too much.” I chuckled looking over at him as he kept bringing out more food.

“Nonsense, you’ll love this.” he smiles but you can tell there’s something bothering him.

“Are you ok?” I looked at him his face tight.

“Yeah, no it’s..it’s nothing I’m fine.” he nodded but he seemed more in his own head now.

“How about next time I’ll make the kimbap? I’ve been told I make it pretty good.” I smiled trying to lighten the mood.

Sure everything was going well, I really like him but I don’t know he seems a little distant recently and I can tell something is bothering him. I…

“Woo?” I said putting down my things. “You know we can talk about things right?”

“I….y/n…I….” he started and closed his mouth a few times. “What’s your relationship with Seonghwa?”

“Seonghwa? I don’t know…friends I guess. I mean I can certainly feel safe around him.” I looked at him confused.

“I know…what I’m about to say is…I know…Are you…Are you cheating on me?”

“What no?!” I looked at him incredulously. “Cheating?? Wooyoung I would-”

“Then why is it that you drop everything when he calls?” he looked at me getting a little teary eyed. “Why is it that when he calls you leave the room? Hmm? What private conversation can’t Wooyoung hear?” he was getting upset.

“Wooyoung it’s not like that-” I started.

“Well then how is it y/n! Because it certainly seems like you two aren’t just friends!”

“Woo please listen to me.” I said my voice quivering a bit. “Please take a breath and listen.”

“Then start explaining…I thought it was me and only me.”

“It is!”

“I saw you together!!” he stood up angrily.

“He’s just my friend Wooyoung I swear nothing more!” I looked at him, my own tears blurring my vision. “Wooyoung I would never cheat on you I swear, please just listen to me!”

“So you can lie about-”

“Mama?” a small voice called out.

Fuck.

“S-Saja!” Seonghwa’s voice called out.

“Seonghwa?” Wooyoung looked over at his friends familiar voice. “What are you doing with a child?”

“Mama!” Saja threw herself into my arms hugging me tightly. “Hi!”

“H-Hi sweet pea.” I looked at her and moved her hair lightly, I could feel Wooyoung looking at the scene before him. “Wooyoung, this is Saja…my…daughter.”

“Daughter? Are you two-?”

“No! Wooyoung I’m just…I just babysit while you two go out.” Seonghwa looked at him.

“Is she yours?” Wooyoung looked at the child and then back to Seonghwa.

“No.” I said and held her closer. “She’s my ex’s…he left…Seonghwa just…he found out I had her and I needed someone to look after her because I really wanted to go out with you but I…” I felt like I could throw up.

“Wooyoung did…I wouldn’t do something like that to you.” Seonghwa looked at the younger male, anger burning behind his pupils.

Wooyoung looked between us grabbing his things.

“Wooyoung, don’t leave…you’ll regret it if you do.” Seonghwa warned the younger male. I covered Saja’s ears.

“Well what was he supposed to think Seonghwa…afterall I drop everything when you call, I go to you when I don’t know what to do, I call you late at night because she’s crying.” I shrugged. “I would think the same….Maybe I should go.” I moved to get up but Wooyoung stopped me before I could get further.

“No.” he looked at the blanket. “Don’t.”

“Saja why don’t you and Hwa go play.” I looked at her and kissed her forehead.

“Hwa Hwa!!! You It!” she got up and ran away.

Wooyoung sat back down and folded his hands together in front of me.

“Wooyoung I…This isn’t how I wanted it to go.” I looked away from him. “I promise there is nothing go on between us other than he’s my babysitter…I think of him as my older brother honestly. I have feelings for you and you only.”

He stayed quiet before nodding and looking over at Seonghwa and Saja playing.

“Why’d you lie y/n? About…her?”

“No one would hire a single mom…I needed the money before she got kicked out of preschool and we lost our apartment so I begged my mom to come help take care of her just until I had enough that I could come clean about it.”

“We have plenty of parents I don’t understand.” he looked at me.

“By the time I finally got to KQ I had been turned down so many times I-I-I panicked it was the only thing I could think of and I was desperate and they..you were all so kind and I-” tears rushed down my face. “And then you showed up and everyone else and then Seonghwa found out and I got scared and you kept asking me out and making me smile and…this isn’t how I wanted you to meet. I wanted you to meet her please.”

He stayed quiet and I wiped my face, before I knew it he brought me into him and rubbed my back.

“I really have made an ass out of myself haven’t I?” he whispered into my hair.

“I understand where you’re coming from though Woo really.” I held onto him.

“Tell me everything.” he asked

I told him our backstory, how my ex left, cheated, basically robbed me, how Hwa found out, I told him what I could and he listened.

“I’d really like to meet her if you let me.” he picked up my face and cupped my cheek. “I promise I’ll listen better.”

“Woo it’s not your fault, what were you supposed to think.”

“That my girlfriend wouldn’t cheat on me.” he squeezed me a little. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too…..I’d really like for you to meet her.” I looked at him. “This isn’t how I wanted you to find out.”

“Whenever you’re ready.” he brushed my hair back often like I do for Saja. “Some times…things work out differently than we want them to.”

“Are you still mad?” I asked.

“I’m still….trying to figure out why.” he sighed. “It makes sense but…I just…I.”

“You can be upset Wooyoung, its a big thing I hid from you.” I shied away from him.”Does it change how you feel about me?”

“I don’t know…maybe? I….I mean-” he looked up at me and I knew he could see it, the heartbreak on my face, I never was good at hiding it. “No baby I-”

“No…no it’s fine Wooyoung…” I moved off him. “I wouldn’t…” I stood up and turned away from him. “I wouldn’t feel the same about me either, it’s probably why I got rejected from everything else.” probably even why he left in the first place. “We’ll just go.”

“No baby, stay. We can have lunch, I’m sorry.” Wooyoung pleaded.

“Mama? Can I has water?” Saja came over tired from playing.

“Here!” Wooyoung jumped up and opened a bottle for her. “I made all this food would you like a snack?”

She looked at me and I nodded and we sat back down only this time apart.

“Y/n.” Seonghwa looked at me.

“It’s nothing.” I turned away from both of them to pay attention to my daughter. “It’s just me and Saja.”

Seonghwa looked over at Wooyoung who looked down at the blanket and pushed food over to us before looking to Seonghwa and away again.

“Saja what do you say?”

“Gram…Sa…Ham…Mama what was it?” she looked at me. “Oh! Hamyida!”

“Good.” I chuckled and wiped her face. “We’ll get going now, thanks for running into us Seonghwa…It was nice to meet you.” I got up and helped Saja up before starting our walk home.

“Mommy?” Saja looked up at me.

“Yes sweet pea?” I stopped.

“Why you look sad?”

“Oh don’t worry angel, I’m okay. I just really thought it’d turn out different.”

“Like what?” she questioned. Every the curious two year old.

“It’s nothing you need to worry about Saja.” I picked her up.

“Can we play with Hwa Hwa tomorrow too?” she yawned.

“I’ll ask him later baby. Let’s get you home.”

I got her home, and of course, she was asleep on me when we walked in. I put her down and sat by her bed, I couldn’t stop the tears that came down my face. I thought everything would work out this time, I thought that maybe…maybe one day he’d be here too…maybe she’d go to sleep and we’d stay up and watch a movie together, maybe we’d play games, or have friends over, or…it was always too much to ask. Too much for me to be happy. Not even a text when I walked through the door. Was this really over?......I’ll turn in my resignation on Monday.

Monday came and went but my computer screen remained blank, I didn’t want to write a resignation letter it’s only been a few months but, I loved my job, I loved the guys, my friends….I loved him. I called in sick I just couldn’t see him, of course by now Seonghwa and Wooyoung had told CEO Kim who asked if there was anything he could do, if Saja was sick or anything. No. There was nothing anyone could do.

“Mama again!” Saja called out pointing to the finished episode of Paw Patrol. I replayed it for her and pulled myself into the chair more, staring at the blank document.

“Saja I’m going to the potty, don’t answer the door like usual ok?”

“Otay!” she smiled and sang along to the theme song.

I just wanted to splash some cold water on my face, something to get it out of my system.

“Hi!” I heard Saja yell from the living room.

“Saja? I told you-”

“Hwa Hwa!!!” she screamed and I ran out to see two men standing in my now open doorway.

“Sorry, I used the spare key.” Seonghwa flushed and spun Saja upside down.

“Why are you here?” I stood there wanting to grab my child from them.

“Baby I’m sorry.” Wooyoung pleaded. “Please can we talk.”

“No, it’s fine. You don’t need to apologize.”

“I do. Please.”

I pushed him out into the hallway and closed the door.

“Wooyoung you shouldn’t…you made it clear how you felt.” I looked away from him.

“No I didn’t because that wasn’t how I felt. That isn’t how I feel y/n.”

“Then how do you feel, because I think “I don’t know if they changed” after that means anything different but it-”

“It didn’t change how I felt okay! I…I panicked…I freaked out because I…You have a kid and sure I love little kids, I love Kyungmin, I love babysitting, and I love playing dress up and tag and…I really love them you know I do, but…it was scary. I no longer had to impress just you I’d have to impress your daughter, I’d have to figure out how to…be a good role model and…take care of her and I’m just a cool uncle or big brother I’ve never had to…be a parent.”

“You’re not her parent Wooyoung.” I crossed my arms. “And how do you think I’m going to feel! We Slept-” I quieted down. “You were the first person I’ve slept with since I had her and you just……..I’m her parent Wooyoung.”

“Yes but we’re dating, so that means I need to be there for her too, because you don’t just date the one person, that’s the most important person in your life I can’t just…I have to be a good example. None of it changed how I felt about you, after you two left I just wanted to do it all over again, I wanted to ask you on a picnic and play tag and push her on the swings and..please believe me y/n, I want to try again. I feel so stupid ok, I have real genuine feelings for you and I hurt you I know I did, I just…one more chance baby please. I’m sorry y/n please. I promise I’ll spend the rest of my life apologizing if you just give me one chance to make it up to you.”

I sighed. “It’s not up to just me Woo….give me two seconds.” I walked back inside and he stayed in the hallway. “Saja?”

“Hi mommy!” she called out from the couch where she was giving Seonghwa a makeover. “Princess Hwa Hwa.” she smiled.

“Oh how lovely.” I smiled and looked at Hwa…I need a photo. “One photo so we can remember your masterpiece?”

“You can take ONE photo. Make it count.” Seonghwa looked at me and I took a photo of him and Saja.

“Saja honey?” I came down to her level. “Would you like to meet mommy’s friend from the other day? The one with all the food.”

“Yeah!” she smiled. “The one mommy likes!”

“Yes, the one mommy likes.” I smiled. “Come on.”

I carried her to the door and took a breath, everything was going to change once I opened this door.

“Ready!” she called out. Ok.

I opened the door half expecting Wooyoung to dart…thank god he was still there when I opened my eyes.

“Saja, this is Wooyoung.” I looked at him. “Wooyoung this is my daughter, Saja.”

“Hi!” she smiled and waved.

“Hello Saja.” he smiled back. “It’s very nice to meet you.” He pulled a flower out from behind his back.

“Where did you-?” I looked at him.

“Flower!” she smiled and took it. “Mommy likes a maggisin!”

“Would you like to come in for coffee.” I looked at him.

“I would love to.” he smiled

This was it, Wooyoung was entering my life, he was seeing the real me and my daughter. I set Saja down to go play with Seonghwa but she stayed and talked to Wooyoung, she showed him all the pictures she drew and all the things she did for pre-school, he smiled and listened the whole time. He helped with a snack since she was getting hungry and he even let her do his hair, and for once in the past 7 months I’ve known him, I could finally breathe. It felt as though a weight has been taken off my chest and I could actually let him see me, the real me. It felt good. It felt so fucking good.

Wooyoung is a wonderful partner, truly. Saja loves him, she’s started calling him every night before bed if he isn’t here to tuck her in, she likes to tell him about her day, he plans dates with all three of us and sometimes even just the two of us, the guys have slowly been introduced to her and they all claim to be her favorite uncle (we all know its Seonghwa). Wooyoung has been maybe slowly moving in slightly, his stuff appears more and more, and what do you know he’s usually attached to it, and now, almost a year later her birthday was coming up and I had no idea what to do.

“Okay I know it her birthday but I was thinking we could bring her to work and surprise the guys for a birthday party?” he rubbed my cheek, the soft sunlight drifting in for the morning.

“She would like it, especially if San and Hwa were there, and Mingi, she likes being tall.” I kissed the palm of his hand.

“I’m sorry.” he said and looked at me fondly.

“For what?” I questioned.

“For everything. For being ignorant, and stupid. For-”

“You don’t have to keep apologizing for that.” I held his wrist gently.

“I told you I’m apologizing for it every day.” he kissed my nose.

“Good Morning!” Saja called out and climbed into the bed and on top of Wooyoung. “Wooyoungie!”

“Hi Princess good morning.” he smiled and kissed her head. “Did you sleep well?”

“From the looks of her bed head I’d say so.” I chuckled.

“Well I better get those pigtails back in before Hwa Hwa sees you then hmm?” Wooyoung lifted her up and got up to go to the bathroom with her.

“Woo?” he turned around. “It’s a great idea.” I smiled. He smiled back and nodded.

As I made breakfast Wooyoung made sure they got their morning ritual done, you always have to dance in the morning if you want your day to go well according to him. Saja likes spending time with him and frankly, this past year it’s been so nice to not feel like a single parent.

“Okay and 1,2,...3 and 4. Good! Okay Okay. shh shh.” Wooyoung spoke. “Eomma!!” he called out.

“Yes?” I peaked around the corner.

“Saja wants to show you something.” he smiled and nodded for her.

He started playing the music to Case 143, the chorus specifically and she looked like she was going to do it but then turned to Wooyoung and looked scared.

“I can’t” she whispered. He stopped the music and got down to her level.

“Hey hey what’s wrong princess?” he scooped her up.

“I can’t do it.” she sniffled.

“Of course you can.” he smiled. “You practiced hard with me while eomma was busy.”

“Too hard.” she looked away from him.

“I think she’s just nervous to do it alone Woo.” I looked at him and gave him a small smile.

“Do you want me to do it with you princess?” he pushed her hair back.

“Want Youngie do it too.” she whispered to him.

“Wooyoungie will do it too.” he nodded. “Okay? Together?” this time it was her turn to nod.

He started the music over and set her down.

She looked at him as they started and even though she was shy she saw him do it and knew he meant it when he said he’d do it with her. It gave her the boost she needed to do it too. Before my eyes here she was trying her best to dance along to Case 143 by Stray Kids and for an almost 3-year-old, she did a great job.

“Oh sweet pea that was amazing!!” I scooped her up and kissed her face. “Such a good dancer.” I smiled.

“Like Appa!” she smiled and pointed to Woo. I stumbled a little.

“O-Okay breakfast time.” Wooyoung clapped and took Saja and sat at the table to eat breakfast. “Baby? Come eat ok?”

“Y-Yeah.”

We’d talk about it…after breakfast.

“I’m sorry.” Wooyoung confessed. “She started calling me that last week when I was watching her when you had to stay late with Yunho and I didn’t correct it but she knew you would be scared if you heard and-”

“Is that what you want?” I looked at him. “Is this what you want? You know you can’t leave if she starts calling you that.”

“You are what I want y/n. Nothing else. Just this.” he nodded, I’ve never seen him look so serious. “I may be young and handsome, but I-I I can be a dad too.”

“Are you sure?” I held his hand and he gave me a firm squeeze.

“I’m sure.” he nodded.

“Of course you taught her how to dance.” I wiped my face and chuckled.

“She’s got quite a talent, I think she picked it up from her mom.” he smiled and kissed my cheek. “I’m not going anywhere..in fact, I was waiting until her birthday but…Maybe it’s time I…move in?”

“And what else could you possibly bring over…You already live here.” I smiled and kissed him.

“I have some other things.” he chuckled and kissed me back.

“I love you Jung Wooyoung.” I smiled and held onto him.

“And I love you l/n f/n.” he smiled back and held my hips.

Do I wake up every morning with my hair in every direction, toothpaste foaming at the mouth, a stained t-shirt and pajama pants, and a toddler crying because I can’t hold her? Not every morning…sometimes I wake up in the arms of my loving boyfriend, sometimes with no clothes, and sometimes I wake up to the sight of my daughter getting ready for the day with her two favorite people, I see a smile on her face as her appa cries dropping her off for school, I see the joy on her face when the guys come over and San talks to her about her day, I see my daughter being surrounded by more love than I could ever ask for. Surrounded by her 7 uncles and her appa, better than I could’ve asked for.

Sometimes I wake up to the biggest smile I could ever see, more radiant than the sun, and I know this is all real. Wooyoung is real, and he’s here Forever.

#ateez #ateez fanfic #my writing #wooyoung x reader #wooyoung #ateez wooyoung #jung wooyoung x reader

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gucciwins · 1 year

Text

Harry brings a gift…and an important question is asked

A/N: hi friends, it’s been over a month since i last posted. life and school got really busy. but to celebrate graduating uni here is a sweet blurb 💜 happy reading

Word count: 1987

Y/N loved working at a coffee shop. She loved the smell of freshly brewed coffee, and when a customer asked for her favorite drink. Y/N had been at this coffee shop since she entered uni and continued while pursuing her postgraduate. She enjoyed how flexible Connie, the owner was with her hours. Being here for so long meant Y/N was good with inventory and, more times than not, found herself in the back, organizing and keeping track of all the items. She loved making drinks and talking with customers, but sometimes she got overwhelmed and needed a breather doing inventory allowed her to do so. The shop had been slow most of the morning, so she slipped to the back to get ahead and hopefully head out early. She was looking forward to stopping at the bookstore and picking up the newest Emily Henry novel she had pre-ordered.

Drew poked his head with a teasing smile on his face. “What?” She asked without turning to look at him. “Your staring is getting creepy.”

He scoffs, “you didn’t even look up.”

“You got that intense gaze, my friend.”

Drew sighed, “I get that a lot.”

Y/N rolls her eyes, “can I help you with something?”

“No. I wanted to ask if you wanted to make a matcha?” Drew asked suspiciously.

Before Y/N could reply, Tish rushed in. “Harry Styles is here!” Tish screams quietly. “He wants a matcha something. My matches are horrible,” she cries.

Tish is their newest barista, who started here a month ago. She’s a petite pink-haired Latina who Y/N had taken under her wing. Tish had moved far from home and happened to join their team as Connie went on vacation, leaving Y/N and Drew in charge until her return in late Summer. Tish had no idea Harry Styles was a regular here and that Y/N might harbor a small crush on the English pop star.

Y/N glares at Drew because he must have known it's why he came in to bother her. She acted like she was okay not being able to greet Harry, but she loved her conversations with Harry. He told her about new poetry books he was reading. Y/N shared about the new artist she was listening to or the latest record she found. Once Y/N told Harry she was a fan of Madison Cunningham. Harry promised to give her a listen, and months later, she opened for Harry in New York City. Y/N thought it was a funny coincidence, but she couldn’t help but think that she influenced him and his taste in music even a little bit.

“Oh, did I not say lover boy had arrived?” Drew smirks, seeing Y/N’s flushed cheeks.

Tish’s eyes look at her in surprise. “Are you dating Harry Styles?”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Drew shut up,” Y/N mutters.

“He so wants to date her,” Drew whispers to Tish.

Y/N fixes her apron and name tag. She makes sure her bisexual flag pin and anatomical heart pin are straightened and hurries out to make Harry’s drink knowing they’ve taken too long.

“The slut strands fix the slut strands,” Drew calls out as he reaches out to fix her hair. She slaps his hands away and walks out from the backroom. Y/N doesn’t even let herself scan the room.

Susie shoots her a wink as she finishes up with a cashier. Y/N grabs his cup and sees that he’s chosen a lavender matcha latte, a favorite of hers. She takes her time and dances around her coworkers happily, knowing they all wait in anticipation for her to call his name.

Y/N won’t give them the pleasure.

“Lavender Matcha latte,” Y/N calls out. She sees him stand up from his seat in the back corner by the shop's tiny bookcase, where you can grab a book and leave another in return.

She had her eyes on Harry, that she missed when a tall redhead approached her. Usually, Y/N picked up the charm for a pretty redhead, but today all her attention is focused on a brunette with emerald eyes. “Did you say, Hailey?” The cute redhead asks.

“Sorry, babes,” Y/N apologizes. “Forgot to say the name. It’s Harry. Yours will be out shortly.”

Hailey giggles, “I had just ordered, so I was a little surprised.”

“We’ll have it out shortly,” Y/N promises as she walks away.

Y/N wants the ground to open up and swallow her whole because Harry had to witness that awkward interaction. “Sorry,” she apologizes to him. “Lavender matcha?”

“Yes, thank you.” He accepts the cup letting their fingers touch for the briefest second. “It’s good to see you, Y/N.”

“You too,” she chirps. “Glad you stopped by. Our matcha still the best?”

Harry smiles, and Y/N can’t help but do the same. She remembers when he came in to tell them he would be away for a few months but would miss their matcha dearly. Y/N made him promise he’d tried to find matcha better than hers—from their coffee shop.

“It was a tough call,” he teases.

Y/N pouts because she knows what that means. He did find better matcha. Although she isn’t sure if he’s found a better matcha or if it’s his way of stopping their flirtatious interactions. Y/N would hate for him to stop coming in. Harry was everyone’s favorite regular because he was kind and learned all their names. He always asked about their life, but Drew teased her because he took a deeper interest in Y/N.

“Y/N,” Drew calls. “It’s break time.”

Fuck.

She knows what he’s doing, and she hates that.

Harry looks away, but she notices his cheeks heat up. “Would-do—“ he shakes his head. “Do you want to sit with me for a bit?”

“Uh,” she looks behind her, and Drew gives her a discrete thumbs up. “Yeah, okay. I’ll meet you there.”

He nods, leaving with his drink to sit back down. Y/N slips off her apron, and Tish hands her a vanilla latte with oat milk. The rule is Tish makes everyone a drink for their break until she’s perfected. In return, everyone takes turns making one for Tish, allowing her to try to guess all the ingredients in the drink of the day.

Y/N walks over to Harry, careful to walk over, and hopes he doesn’t notice her shaking hands. Harry stands up and pulls her chair out when he sees her approaching. She thanks him, taking a sip of her drink to calm down.

It’s good. Really good.

As Harry sits back down, Y/N finds Tish at the till, waiting for her response. She sends her a thumbs up, making Tish scream in success. This had been a drink she could not perfect for a few weeks, but now she could check it off.

She finds Harry staring at her with a warm smile.

“Sorry, Tish’s new, and we’ve been having her make us drinks to practice,” Y/N explains.

“Mhmm…she’s nice. Took my order and ran off,” he giggles.

“Matcha is not a strong suit for her just yet.”

“She’s learning from the best, so I’m sure soon enough,” he praises.

Y/N feels her face heat up. It’s such a compliment coming from him. “How have you been? All that traveling must be nice being home.”

Harry nods, “I love it, but nothing beats home.”

Conversation with Harry flows easily. He tells her about things he did on his days off. They never mention his shows, but she doesn’t mind. She loves hearing about his intense workouts and the newest book he picked up, and how many friends he has reunited with.

In return, she shares how she completed another year and plans to celebrate in Italy towards the end of July. Harry tells her places she has to visit and even gives her the name of a restaurant she has to visit and to say Harry sent her. He promises it’ll be the best pasta she’s ever had.

Harry changes the conversation back to matcha, promising he missed her drinks.

“You did tell me to find the best,” he teases.

“I thought the best was here,” Y/N defends.

He turns away from her to open his tote bag and slips out a metal tin. “My friend took me to this place in Tokyo, and it was amazing.”

“Harry,” she frowns. “Breaking my heart.”

Harry laughs, “I brought some for you all to try and make some drinks.”

Y/N awes at his kind gesture because he didn’t need to do that, but he wanted to. She accepts the gift and reads the label to learn more about it. “I’m sure if I make it, then it won’t be the same.”

“But you can try?” He offers.

“Matcha is something you have to be gentle with.”

“I asked the barista why it was so good,” Harry shares.

“What they tell you?” Y/N asks, wanting to know the secret to the best matcha.

“It’s about what you put in. All the emotions and feelings you are filled with go into a cup of coffee or tea,” he tells her. He pauses for a second before continuing. “I told them it was good but that it was missing something,” he looks away, unable to meet her eye. “Something about it being special who makes the cup for you.”

Y/N tries her best to contain her smile but fails, knowing Harry enjoyed her matcha because she made it. “Well, I enjoy a good matcha and hope everyone who drinks it does too.”

She looks down at her watch and knows her time with him is over, and she needs to go back to work. Y/N holds tight to the tin and smiles at Harry. “I’m glad you stopped by, Harry.”

“It was good to see you,” he tells her.

As she stands up, he stops Y/N from walking away by holding lightly to her wrist. “Sorry, wait.” He lets go quickly and digs in his bag again. “I said it was for everyone, but I got this one just for you.”

It’s in a purple-colored tin, and Y/N feels her heart swell. Harry bought matcha just for her because he knows she likes it.

“Harry, this was so kind of you.” Harry nods. “Thank you for thinking of me.”

“I hope you’ll tell me how you like it when you make yourself a latte with it,” he smiles at you, giving her the courage to do something crazy.

Y/N looks over her shoulder and sees everyone working, and the customers are lost in their conversations that she allows herself to focus back on Harry. “I don’t know if I’m reading too much into this, but would you want to come over to mine, and we can try this amazing matcha together?” Y/N smiles, trying to look at ease, but inside, she feels her stomach turning and the butterflies going crazy, knowing Harry now holds so much power over her.

Harry takes a second for her words to sink in before responding. “Yes,” he breathes out. “That would be nice.”

“Great, okay,” she bits her bottom lip, nervous about meeting his gaze but can’t look away when she sees the bright smile and shining eyes. “Uh, I can uh give you my number, and you can let me know when you’re free.”

Harry grins. “Wonderful. It’s a date.”

He opens his journal, and she scribbles down her number and, before thinking twice about it, adds her address underneath.

“Alright,” she steps back with her two tins in hand and coffee in the other. “Bye, Harry.”

“Bye, Y/N. I’ll text you.”

“You can call me too,” she offers.

Harry grins, his dimples on display for her and only her. “You’re off at two, right.”

She hums in response. “I’ll call you then.”

Y/N turns away from him, her face warm from the interaction, her heart bounding, but gosh, is she excited for Harry to call her.

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles story #harry styles wiring #harry styles fluff #harry writing #harry angst #harry fluff #harry one hsot #harry styles one shot #harry styles love on tour #harry x y/n #harrys house

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weirdmageddon · 7 months

Note

OK OK SO!!

First off!!! Hello fellow davejade enjoyer i see you. Second off—what sort of things do you wish you could’ve seen with these two in canon :0. Could be expansion on canon scene, arc direction, or just a new scene entirely. for me personally I would’ve loved to see some genuine fighting collaboration going on. I felt VERY teased with all the magic combo’s in collide.

Third! I know they do a lot of music collaboration in canon, and I’ve seen some things with them making a band together post canon. What sort of sound do you think they’d have/what artist do you think they’d sound like?

Thank you :))

okay god theres so much i wish was expanded on in canon with regard to dave and jade

this post is swan dive into homestuck meta and took me over a day to write. so i would appreciate feedback or discussion on this if you'd like, reblogs appreciated!

despite this question being posed as davejade related, my answers here are actually relevant for anyone interested in homestuck meta as well.

it’s just recently come to my attention that there are a a handful of people on twitter who are vocal davejade dislikers. i didnt know it was actually disliked until i looked it up on twitter, i honestly thought it was a joke blown out of proportion but no they exist! it surprised me a lot to see people think they "lack chemistry". not only because knowing what i know about them thats a ridiculous insinuation, but also i haven't seen the vitriol on tumblr. probably because we can actually poast about it on here in an unabridged manner which thus enables better, deeper critical analysis and engagement with the media. i think also people forget that dave strider is canonically bisexual and are too yaoipilled + facing the consequences of the epilogues to even give davejade a serious look/analysis. (dave dates terezi and karkat in separate timelines, thinks jane is hot, thinks roxy is a babe but shoves it down when he discovers she’s his ectomom lmfao. davesprite—an extension of dave himself—dated jade! but i'm going to cover that in more depth in this post since theres a lot of misunderstandings about the nature of that relationship in fanon.)

(as a side note according to what some people have told me in inbox and what ive seen lol i think that ive been inadvertently been getting people into davejade. it's all in my davejade tag here in chronological order if you'd like to get a Whiff. be sure to read the tags on posts in there too!)

even though theres a lot in this post as it is, it doesn't cover everything ive talked about wrt davejade, and i think it would benefit readers to have complementary posts alongside this for the full picture with stuff it doesn't cover. there's a ton about why theyre cute and why i think they work well together in that tag.

here's some highlight analysis posts, but be sure to check the tag because there's a more in there:

post a / post b / post c / post d / post e / post f (← one of my favorite ask responses ive ever gotten)

i think a huge chunk of the issue has to do with how the narrative handles dave and jade. one of the most damning things to me is how glossed over their canon interactions were in act 5 despite them collaborating on one of the most important things in the story. i haven't talked about this yet but i'm going to do so here. because they’re put on the backburner by the focus of the narrative during act 5, people who don’t read carefully will miss the implications that are there all along in canon but easily passed over.

under the cut ive separated it into multiple parts

1. Jade’s Quest: What Frog Breeding Entails

this is an analysis examining apart exactly what jade and dave did while frog breeding. i wrote it while high which was extremely enlightening and it allowed me to comprehend it and hopefully explain it in an understandable way. i also discuss how shitty the lack of on-screen communication between jade and dave was for this part and the next.

2. Jade & Dave vs. Jack Noir

ive discussed this one before on my blog so it's not as dense (see davejade tag). but i still sewed the gifs together and discuss how unfortunate this was to be be delegated to a banner at the top of mspa and the neglect of that whole arc despite the outcomes of it being reissued by characters thousands of pages later

3. Davesprite and Grimbark Jade

i get into davesprite's head here and try to make his motivations about the breakup clear to the extent that i can infer because jesus fuck i love these characters way too much ive known them for a decade i understand their core personality structures and why they think what they do and what is most likely to happen when extrapolating? i also talk about how grimbark jade changed the way the fandom perceives their relationship, leaving davejade on a low note instead of a high note. and then hs epilogues had even worse consequences for davejade but i wont get into it because it was character assassination all around and doesnt deserve my time or yours. but if you wanna know what i think, here

4. The music question

where actually answer this ask like it's an ask and not an essay

1. Jade’s Quest: What Frog Breeding Entails

i wish we could have seen what collecting frogs entailed for the two of them. what exactly were they doing? jade’s quest is one of the most interesting.

before i start i want to take a tangent and say the frog breeding reminds me of back in 2020-2021 when i would breed hybrid flowers in animal crossing new horizons to get a very specific gene sequence for these flowers to not only use to breed for hybrids, but to get known gene sequences that i could use to “check” the genes of other flowers. the goal is to get two parent flowers whose sequences when bred would make a specific phenotype 100% of the time.

this sounds complicated but here’s what i did for the lilies:

(“rare island” refers to one of the first acnh patches that removed a nook miles island from the pool that had hybrid versions of your native flower of very specific phenotypes for each color. i wrote out the breeding chains to get parents that would always breed that exact flower found on the rare hybrid nmt island that is no longer available.)

the cleanup ALL TO GET the white 2-2-2 lily looked like this. and after i got white 2-2-2 lily it was smooth sailing

after all that i could use the orange 2-2-0 lilies and white 2-2-2 lilies made in the black lily process and get rare island orange 2-2-1 lilies 100% of the time. in mendelian genetics these numbers (2-2-1) are quite literally RR-YY-Ww.

RR-YY-ww (orange) x RR-YY-WW (white) = RR-YY-Ww (orange: heterozygous Ww gene)

and all that effort into getting white 2-2-2 lilies enables me to get it over and over again now. i don’t have to repeat that process to get rare island pink lilies. all i need to do for the pink 2-0-2 lilies is breed two default bag red lilies (2-0-1) together. 50% will be red (2-0-1) lilies, 25% will be black 2-0-0 lilies, and the last 25% will be pink (2-0-2) lilies.

anyway sorry back to the main point. FROG BREEDING. it just reminded me of it. now that i think of it the frog breeding process also reminds me a lot of artbreeder back from when AI was only a fun little toy 4-5 years ago

ok so have a look at what kanaya says about what jade must do. this is the coolest quest imo because of how it progresses and how long it actually is

here’s how it works. remember back in act 2, when the wayward vagabond needed to tie a longer cable to descend down the ship (and refused to give up the ones that made up his mayoral sash)? he used the appearifier in the ship to appearify the extra cable across the gap to his location? that’s how the appearifier normally works when when it’s locked to the present. it’s very straightforward.

when jade appearifies a frozen frog, it shows us this exact thing. she appearified the actual frog itself (the same way WV appearified the actual cable across the gap) to her exact location. it can get the frog out of the ice in the way WV could untrap serenity from the amber. if something’s destiny wouldn’t otherwise be changed, it will not be paradoxified, it will just simply itself be warped to that location, with precise carving if it is somehow trapped inside of something else.

if you could appearify it to your location right now, you wouldnt be able to take it out the appearifier’s crosshairs in person later to alter its destiny because the object won’t be there at that time. it wouldve been with you the entire time. unless you decide to take the appearified item back to that location so that you could appearify it in the past, but that’s the most pointless time loop ever and doesn’t change its destiny.

for this icicle frog jade and dave weren’t capable of changing its destiny anyway, because it was completely encased in ice, and just didn’t bother to go after it. partially because it was with jade at the appearifier the entire time anyway and she can’t exactly put it back in there in the future. the point is, besides jade appearifying it to her location, the frog had no other possible routes of destiny. in that part of lofaf where she appearified the frozen frog from, the ice is too deep to get anything out of it (other than appearifying it) and i’m not sure the forge would have melted it in time before their reckoning ended anyway.

the goal of jade and dave is to target frogs on the appearifier screen and trust that their future selves follow through in altering the frog’s destiny. if so, then the frog’s paradox slime will appear instead and its genes would be collected in addition to creating offspring between multiple paradox clone frog genes. then, dave and jade would necessarily have to go out adventuring and find the frog so that they end up following through for their past selves.

if i understand correctly, jade is creating all the frogs on her planet that grow up with manually modified genes. these frogs must be genetically altered from their parents so that the frogs she creates don’t grow up to become one of their parents (as they’d be identical). the mutant offspring frogs “generation A” she ectobiologizes will eventually mature from tadpoles to frogs, assisted by dave’s time travel. then she will eventually target “generation A” with the appearifier to get their paradox slime to fuse with some other frogs’ paradox slime and create new slightly altered frogs “generation B” (and then follow through on altering the “generation A” frogs’ destiny so their slime and genes can be paradoxified by jade and dave’s past selves). repeat until the genes are fine tuned for the genesis frog.

this is why i compared it to my breeding in animal crossing. getting the genesis frog reminds me of the blue rose paths. i worked with the garden council back in the day and i used backwardsN’s “cesspool” method, except i honestly gotta say my white 2-2-2 lily thing was much more involved and carefully maneuvered in a way that i imagine frog breeding is more like. backwardsN’s “genepool method” was basically making a red-orange-black rose primordial soup and waiting for a blue rose to emerge out of it, just increasing the chances seeing a blue rose sprout the next day after watering with each generation of offspring. you KNOW my ass was using time travel, even if i happened to get lucky and got a blue rose without even finishing the big turtle plot. without time travel, most players (95%) will get their first blue rose before these # of days. (open up advanced tag)

there must be so many daves running around to help her going back in time all within the span of a few hours while still having their own linear, older timelines that are much longer than the “time stage” they’re actually functioning in. this sounds complicated but it’s not. think of this “time stage” as analogous to the 3 days until the moon falls in majoras mask. it’s the “time window” all the time travel takes place within, but link doesn’t become a day younger when he travels to a day ago. the timeline of his “self” is older but is kept within the confines of the 3-day timeframe. similarly, in tears of the kingdom, two master swords exist simultaneously for most of history, but the one on the light dragon’s head (who was above the cloud barrier before the upheaval btw) is further ahead on its own linear timeline: it starts as the other, pre-gloomed master sword → broken by gloom → sent to the past to be repaired → renewed over time, existing at the same time on the “time stage” as its own pre-gloomed past self but ahead on its own linear timeline

now imagine this but within the “time stage” of just a few hours within the same 24-hour period. kanaya says frog breeding ordinarily takes weeks. multiple daves can exist simultaneously because they’re operating in the same few-hour-timeframe but one can linearly be days ahead of another. it’s the exact same thing as breeding flowers in animal crossing for irl days but to your game it’s whatever date you have it set to. your irl progress isn’t lost if you go back a few days in settings. i’d often find a week in june to use as a “time stage” to loop through when it would rain at least one hour on each day of that week which would save me the hassle of watering my flowers every day before time traveling to the next.

it must’ve sucked for dave to hear jade say the same things over and over again. the novelty probably wore off pretty fast lol…… dave says he saw his future self fighting and dying to jack and knew that’s what he’d eventually have to do as well. every single dave at all points of his linear timeline understood that and it probably settled something horrible into his heart.

im imagining during the original run dave was thinking to himself: “im bored but cant alter anything about this without creating a doomed timeline. if i dont see my future self hugging jade then i cant hug her even though i really fuckin want to. note to future self: hug jade. aww shit look at me go guess i remembered. hell fucking yes cant wait for that to be me in a few hours” and gives a thumbs up

future dave pov, hugging jade and watching his past self give him a thumbs up from afar thinking to himself: “ahaha i remember exactly what i was thinking there” and gives a thumbs up

but anyway. goddamn. JADE AND DAVE. what did hussie do to you.

this is a goddamn atrocity.. what the hell man. i wish we could have at LEAST seen the text file jade sent to kanaya. we got to see ConversationWithAVeryStupidGirl.Txt but not daveisafunnyguy.txt?

i mean i GUESS the humor is delivered through this

and like, yeah that is pretty funny? but i feel like the single laugh this gives me is nothing compared to the joy i wouldve gotten out of seeing what dave has to say about the cloning apparatus for ants here and talking himself into circles about frog procreation enough to make not just gigglehouse jade laugh, but kanaya too

we spent so much time learning about the mechanics of the punch designix and hardly anything about creating the seed of the actual new universe. we learn about it through kanaya and karkat messaging jade, instead of dave and jade working that out through SHENANIGANS. even though this is JADE AND DAVE'S session. it’s fine that kanaya is helping them, as she should, but we’ve seen parallel pesterlog conversations before so i dont get why we didn’t get that here! jade and dave frog breeding is one of the most important events in homestuck, and yet it was terribly glossed over. everything in the story, their futures, are predicated on their success. not just in their unwinnable session, but the one they split up for 3 years and escape to.

at first i thought, maybe their lack of shown interaction has to do with hussie working out the intricacies of pesterlog/dialogue thing? as he once stated on tumblr:

shoshaumbay asked: In the intermission of act 6, it says that they get to talk. Does this mean that their guardians couldn’t talk to them before and that is why they left them notes all around their houses? The achievement badge only upgraded their ability to speak to each other as presented through the comic. I.e. it permitted them to speak to each other… WHILE WE WATCH! Do you think all the trolls were hanging out together, not talking at all? Or Dave and Jade were doing all that frog hunting without a single peep?? That’s ridiculous. On the other hand, abstraction weaves itself through the Homestuck reality, and it can be hard to pin down where abstraction is to be taken literally. The truth is, there is not much distinction between the layers of abstraction and the reality they are meant to stand for. John was both literally named on his 13th birthday, and not quite, because that’s silly. The guardians are both literally silent automatons, and not really, as there is indication through allusion they function as normal people too. And the kids went through a huge adventure, achieved immortal god status, and even then had to gain a few more levels just to gain the achievement of simple dialogue as a literal upgrade, as well as not literally, because that makes no sense. The reality is inseparable from the way the story is presented and the way the “game” is played. But those abstractions are also a facade for a more life-like reality beneath it as well.

then i realized, this is not only an arbitrary cop out that affects my enjoyment of the comic in retrospect because they wind up being able to talk later anyway and that makes me feel cheated in these moments, but also still actually awful within these parameters because hussie breaks his own rule here, proving he could have shown us dave and jade talking in person at any time regardless of needing the gift of gab achievement for us to watch them as readers. recall this is also the first time john and rose met in person (at least when rose wasn't asleep):

2. Jade & Dave vs. Jack Noir

this is where i take out my frustration over this being delegated to a banner at the top to the point where readers forgot it occurred.

(also i want yall to take a moment to acknowledge this ^)

youtube

i wish their time on lofaf frog breeding and fighting with jack was front and center and wasnt just in the banner at the top of the page. it makes it seem not as important when it completely was, considering that characters brought up what had happened in that scene multiple times.

it is significant because it is at that point that jack noir has killed all of the kids at least once. the only one left being jade who he refuses to kill due to bec’s loyalty

THIS IS WHAT THE REFRANCE (foreshadowing)

jack noir killed john on his quest bed which allowed him to ascend to god tier. then he killed john AGAIN but it wasn’t a heroic or just death so john was revived

jack killed grimdark rose. john smooched rose’s corpse, allowing her to take over on derse.

jack killed dave by redirecting jade’s bullets into dave’s body instead. jade smooched dave’s corpse, allowing him to take over on derse.

after jade shoots him through jack, he’s down for the count. she kisses him and he wakes up on derse; all he and rose have left of “themselves” in an existential sense are their dreamselves. they didnt know they were going to ascend to god tier delivering the tumor. they assumed they were just going to die like for real and not come back which is why dave went with rose since he didnt want her to die alone.

it was also an important point since her time spent with dave on lofaf is the first in-person contact jade has had with another living human since she was probably 4 years old with her grandpa.

for jack noir, we got [s] seer: desend and [S] ==> (3696) which were hella impactful. seeing jade and dave essentially go through the same thing but with an extended battle sequence honestly kinda warrants a flash in my mind. (the sad thing is that unite synchronization was originally written with those pages in mind (the track was originally called redshift) but of course malcolm brown couldnt have known what was going to happen unless hussie commissioned him for a specific track for a specific story beat, probably like whatever he did to coordinate cascade’s music with toby ahead of the 10/25/11 release of the flash and publication of volume 8 on bandcamp)

i think one of the worst parts is that entire conversations were referenced, but cut or never written.

this is a real forgotten homestuck fact: jade was completely freaking out after filling dave with bullets until karkat had talked her through it. very easily forgotten since even though it being referenced twice we never actually saw the conversation. (i overrode the black scratch background so it's easier to read)

wow thats so crazy i as a member of the audience dont in fact remember! would it have killed to write it my guy

and we find out thousands of pages later dave was thinking more about how it wouldve made jade feel to watch him die than knowing he was about to fucking die. if you even care btw

i wrote more about this here

3. Davesprite and Grimbark Jade

davesprite—an extension of dave himself—dates jade but breaks up because he feels inadequate at being the dave that he thinks jade deserves. NOT because they fought or anything. they were still on good terms. davesprite just felt inherently unlovable. john seemed more upset about the breakup frankly.

what davesprite did was because he thought it was in jade's best interest. there is nothing to suggest it was a fight / clash break up. they still seemed to be on good terms, davesprite asking where she went and all. jade says the breakup “is complicated” and “hes going through a lot of stuff”. given the context i think it's reasonable to assume that davesprite's thought process was: “we're coming up to the new session soon and youre going to meet up with dave again and i dont want to make shit awkward with you dating knockoff dave. you deserve to be with real dave instead so im gonna cut what we have going here in advance and distance myself from your life”

jade probably protested about saying how he's just as real as “real dave”, but davesprite made his decision already. im sure it wasnt easy for davesprite to break up either. with emotions running high (sadness, not anger) he probably just left to be alone and distance himself from jade, and seems to harbor guilt about it as we see in the log. that's probably why he wasn't at john's movie party. this is just speculation on my part but it doesnt seem in character for the breakup to be explosive because jade seemed more understanding than john. sad, but understanding.

i feel like a lot of people forget this. grimbark jade made it seem like davesprite did it to hurt her, or for this to mean that dave and jade are not actually good for each other, which is a wild mischaracterization of what happened but the one that stuck with the fandom nonetheless.

not only that, but davesprite's existence tragic and he's understandably depressed. after spending about a year in sburb (accounting for time travel) without john or jade, only to go back and give up your personhood to advance the alpha timeline and become forgotten is fucking crushing, and i think the breakup is also about davesprite coming to terms with that trauma, being okay with his existence as a sprite instead of being a bootleg stand-in for the dave that jade knew.

basically what vintagegamebro says,

it was such a tragic way for them to part for 3 years with no communication, and it was only proceeded by more tragedy because jade then had no one but davesprite to turn to, and davesprite needed anything but romance at that point

grimbark jade isn’t a good reflection of jade’s actual self. she pushed the mayor into lava for fucks sake which normal jade would never dream of doing, grimbark jade is straight up unhinged. i’m sure jade was hurt because all breakups hurt, but it was blown out of proportion (see how calm she was above a few days after the breakup?) because of Evilness. but also as @vintagegamebro mentioned it also felt somewhat … “off”? or out of left field? especially seeing what the nature of the breakup was from both sides in the above screenshots.

when dave says “theres no way i would have done that to you” i genuinely believe him. i have no reason not to believe him. look at him above asking for questions and clarification. thinking about how what davesprite did, a version of himself beyond his control and how it reflects on himself, i think it's obvious dave cares a lot about how jade feels about him

even after this confrontation in the game over timeline, dave laid down his fucking life to defend her corpse from the becs in he hope she could be revived by jane

and to think that after all this he still chose to save her, like always, probably knowing he had little to no chance, just because he cares for her, her life and who she is beyond this moment, really meant a lot for them. i really, really was mad that this would be the last time they would truly ever be together in a way that to me mattered

4. The music question

i wrote this post regarding instruments with this song in the back of my head if its anything. takes about 12 seconds to start after you press play for some reason

this too, closer to the “style”. i like imagining dave going apeshit on drums

#homestuck #dave strider #jade harley #davejade #homestuck meta #hs

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cheshiresense · 1 year

Text

Anon:

Fandom: Harry Potter (CLV kinda?)

Character or Ship: Hadrian from CLV, I love Hadrian/Orion but that might not work here so it's totally up to you!

AU/Trope: I'd love to see an AU where instead of the CLV dimension, Hadrian is sent to a universe still with BWL!Neville but more similar to canon. Maybe with Slytherin!Hadrian and Hadrian taking some of the other Slytherins under his wing? I just really like the idea of a world where the "good guys" win and instead of (or in addition to) Orion it's the Slytherins who need Hadrian in their corner. Doesn't have to be all of them, whoever you prefer writing is fine. I am also down for bashing if you need to work that in. Thank you!

Tags: CLV AU, Slytherin!Hadrian, Canonical Prejudices, Draco Malfoy Bashing, kind of?, tbh this is more or less how I see him in canon lol but I know he's a fan favourite so fair warning, he's not the CLV version here, at least not yet.

-0-

Author's Notes: Hello, it's been a while since I've worked on these. I think I mentioned before that my tumblr inbox got glitchy so I actually couldn't find the other 6 requests from the last batch of 10 you guys sent in for 5+ Headcanons. So I set up an airtable form instead and got someone to test it, and this was the one they sent. It works, so in the future, I'll toss out a new post with the form link for more requests, and maybe I'll get through them in a timely manner lol.

If you're not in the UraIchi server, then you might've noticed that I've sort of been MIA on the writing front for a while now, the last time I wrote and posted something was like back in May last year, and honestly I've been kind of tired and burnt out ever since, and real life is kicking my ass a bit, so when I do have spare time, all I feel like doing is reading fics or webnovels and sleeping. But the winter hols were a nice break for me, and I've started on a couple new fic ideas and added to some wips on and off over the past few months, so I'm slowly getting back into it, and this 5+ Headcanons prompt was one of the things I've been working on. Hopefully, I'll be able to get back into posting fics soon.

ANYWAY, on to the stuff you actually care about: Slytherin!Hadrian, so basically amp up the hardened war vet and dial down the friendship magic XD Way back when I first started CLV, I did consider Slytherin for his House but it felt like everybody did that, plus the politics I would have to get into gave me a headache and I felt like I couldn't do it justice anyway, so I went with Hufflepuff. Slytherin does give me more options to play with a powerful Hadrian who has less morals about flinging that around to get what he wants though since he would be viewed as a halfblood at best and he'd need that currency to make sure nobody messes with him, especially if this universe is more canon than CLV (lbr, almost everybody is at least 50% nicer in CLV lol). So okay, let's give this a spin.

(AO3 Link Here -- I’ll add this to the collection fic on my AO3 to make it a round 15 but this one will be the last for that. If I do more, I’ll start a new fic.)

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Hadrian ends up being a Hatstall. He sits on the stool for a full seven minutes as the Sorting Hat sifts through his bloodstained memories with a silence so grim Hadrian is tempted to comfort it. Then it proceeds to send back memories of its own, the major points of recent Hogwarts history that would best help Hadrian fit in - Neville, the Boy-Who-Lived; an image of Hadrian's counterpart and an entire family still alive; Quirrell vanquished in first year, a basilisk slain and a diary that bled itself to death in the second, Remus teaching in the third but no Pettigrew in sight; Neville at odds with Potter, Gryffindors at odds with Slytherins, and Death Eater children who hadn't managed to come out of the last war as financially and politically secure as families like the Malfoys, subtly shunned for their parents' sins, while children from the Light side, the winning side, with parents who'd openly defied Voldemort, can do almost no wrong. On the surface, everything looks bright and happy. Beneath it, malcontent and despair bubbles and brews with hardly anyone the wiser, and those who are, are glad to look away.

The Sorting Hat offers no opinions of its own after it is done, only continuing on to extol the virtues of all four Houses while making an argument for why Hadrian would be perfectly suited for each of them in equal measure, before finally leaving the decision in Hadrian's hands.

"Even I cannot be certain where you would do the most good," the Sorting Hat tells him. "Nor do I know which House would do you the most good. There are many children in this school who could use a helping hand such as yours, and likewise, you too would benefit from the same. Who am I to decide which is more important? Perhaps it is most accurate to say that no matter where you end up, who you will help, and who you will allow to help you, a new future will unfold, one made possible only by your existence. Yours is a fate that demands change, Mr. Evans, for better or for worse. But when peril looms on the distant horizon, when our society insists on blind stagnancy, and its people have long stood divided, change is exactly what this world needs. Thus, I leave the choice to you. Where do you wish to go?"

Hadrian says nothing - thinks nothing - for a long deafening minute. The mounting whispers in the Great Hall are easy enough to tune out, and within the confines of his mind, the Hat too remains patiently silent.

The truth of it is - Hadrian is tired. Even now, in this moment, in this place, one year and an entire dimension and seven years away, he still feels like he does on most days— as if he's just walked off a battlefield at the end of one of those kinds of days that can break a man even when you think there's nothing left to break, yet still hyper-alert for the next enemy, the next fight, the next death, because he doesn't know how to do anything else, how to be anything else. On all the rest, of course, it feels as if he never left the battlefield at all.

He is tired, and he honestly doesn't feel like he's capable of helping anyone, not children, not the reflections of his loved ones, and certainly not an entire world that's rapidly revealing itself to be as stuck on a one-way train to hell as his original world had been.

He doesn't want to be a hero, doesn't know how to be one even after all these years, even when other people had always so desperately wanted him to be. A hero, until he'd proven unable to meet their expectations, and then he'd been their villain, right up until they'd needed a hero to stand in front of them again, and round and round and round they'd gone.

The only thing he could never be was just Harry, just himself, and now even Harry Potter is no longer his to claim.

But maybe that's not so bad, not when Harry Potter has always been more story than reality, a patchwork fairytale portrait of a boy, a man, a weapon, a sacrifice, stitched together by every hand except his own.

Maybe Hadrian Evans could be something different.

Gryffindor feels too much like repeating history, and Hadrian would rather not be forced to stare at the majority of those long dead to him day in and day out. Hufflepuff is too prone to crowding together for his liking, persistently eager to be friends with their own members even if they're quick to turn on those who aren't, and Hadrian doesn't think he can bear the overenthusiastic socializing that would require.

Ravenclaw might be best, a House where even the most introverted can find a home if they have a thirst for knowledge, but at the same time, for a lot of them, once they latch on to a question unanswered or an opinion that doesn't fit their worldview, they won't let go until the question is exhausted or the opinion has conformed to what they consider acceptable, and Hadrian has too many secrets and no more patience to be what others what him to be to fit in with those sorts of people anymore. Besides, he's never quite forgiven that House as a whole. Marietta Edgecombe had been Ravenclaw. Quirrell and Lockhart and Trelawney had been Ravenclaws. Every single one of Luna's bullies had been Ravenclaws. He'd worked with members of that House over the years, taught them back when the DA had been up and running, and even been friendly with some of them beyond just Luna, but generally speaking, he has no positive emotions regarding Ravenclaw. He knows that he isn't being entirely fair, because Voldemort had been from Slytherin, and Pettigrew had been from Gryffindor, and the worst of the lot who'd spearheaded the damaging gossip and baseless accusations incriminating him - first for the Heir of Slytherin debacle in second year, and then the Cup nonsense in fourth year - had all been from Hufflepuff, but still, Ravenclaw simply stands out as that one House that holds no appeal for him.

That really only leaves one place he can go though, and Hadrian finds that he minds that a lot less than he once would've. Slytherin will have its own problems, him being a halfblood at best with a very obvious muggle surname, but Slytherins also respect power, and most of them have the sense to back off if they realize they're picking a fight with an opponent they can't beat. And once that's dealt with, Hadrian will most likely be avoided and left to his own devices, with only the occasional curse to his back to worry about. From a bunch of schoolchildren, that's a negligible issue.

In his head, the Sorting Hat chuckles. "Very well then. If you're sure, better be-"

"SLYTHERIN!"

But Mr. Evans," the Sorting Hat says in the seconds before it's removed from Hadrian's head. It sounds thoroughly amused. "Do not be so quick to underestimate your own heart."

And with that last ominous statement imparted to haunt him, Hadrian stands to lacklustre applause and makes his way to his new House as his tie settles into green and silver stripes.

The briefest of glances over the stretch of the Slytherin table tells him that none of the students seated where most of the fourth-years are gathered have moved to make room for him. That's fine. Hadrian would rather not be boxed in anyway. He takes a seat at the end of the table, smiles at the suspicious first-years around him, and then waits for Dumbledore's opening speech to finish so they can start the feast.

Fifteen minutes later, one treacle tart and a glass of pumpkin juice is all he can manage. He sips at some water for the rest of dinner even as he wishes it was something a lot more alcoholic. He speaks to no one, and no one tries to speak to him, although plenty of prying eyes and sneers of disdain find their way to him throughout the meal.

It makes him feel, Hadrian thinks with some humour, almost nostalgic.

Near the end of the evening, he thinks about going over to the Gryffindor table to find Neville, Ron, and Hermione. But he's in Slytherin now, so he doesn't know how they'll react, and after another moment of contemplation, he decides against it. Not much can embarrass him anymore, but he'd still rather not be put on the spot if the Golden Trio rejects his overture of friendship. It won't help his reputation in Slytherin either if he ends up making a spectacle of himself like that. There's plenty of time tomorrow to see how they'll feel about maintaining ties with a Slytherin without too big of an audience watching, and if they're against it, then, well, it's not as if Hadrian hasn't been living as a recluse over the better part of the past year anyway. He sees no problem carrying on exactly as he has.

Fate sent him here against his explicit permission but she sure as shit can't make him dance.

-0-0-0-

Hadrian ends up shuffled into a dorm room with five very familiar Slytherins - Draco Malfoy, Vincent Crabbe, Gregory Goyle, Blaise Zabini, and Theodore Nott. He gets the remaining bed that's presumably been empty since the others' first year, and a very pointed silence coalesces at his back as he starts unpacking his clothes into his wardrobe.

He ignores it. Instead, he absently begins a count of how long it will take for someone - he's betting Draco - to put their foot in their mouth first. He casts a glance at the floor-to-ceiling window next to his nightstand; like the Gryffindor dorms, the room is circular so everyone has a view to the outside, but here, instead of winds and open skies, it's lake water that shimmers against the glass, with the shadows of passing aquatic life flickering by. It's not bad, just different; the ambience of it is almost soothing.

Someone clears their throat behind him. Hadrian hangs up his winter cloak before moving on to his books. They each get a desk too, complete with a mini bookcase, which the Gryffindor dorms don't have. They have to do their homework on their beds or in the common room. How unfair. But at least Hadrian gets to benefit from it now.

Someone clears their throat again, louder this time. Hadrian smothers a twist of a smirk and bends over his trunk again to fish out his towels and toiletries. His more personal belongings can remain inside, although he'll have to ward everything to the nines anyway.

A displeased noise that comes out gilded with that distinctly familiar Dudley-esque whine of a child who's been spoiled since birth and has never known hardship reaches his ears, and then finally-

"Are you deaf, Evans?!" Draco demands, and oh, look at that, Hadrian wins the bet.

He straightens and turns, idly fiddling with a packet of quills as his gaze falls on the blond standing puffed up and bristling by the bed opposite Hadrian's on the other side of the dorm. He looks him over, looks at Crabbe and Goyle bracketing him with twin expressions of oafish scorn, looks at Zabini standing a ways away, watching the whole room with a smirk that doesn't reach his eyes, looks at Nott who doesn't look at anyone at all.

His attention returns to Draco, considering him for a moment longer before asking mildly, "Did you say something?"

Draco's cheeks flush pink even as he draws himself up and snaps, "You should at least have enough manners to introduce yourself!" His face narrows into a sneer, and Hadrian can almost predict his next words. "But I suppose even that might be too difficult for a mudblood to learn."

For a second, Hadrian wonders if he should tell him he's a halfblood. Then again, it doesn't really matter, and also some people consider halfbloods to be mudbloods too. And now that he thinks about it, the person he is in this world might actually be a muggleborn. But he was homeschooled so at least one of his fictional parents had to have known magic, right? Then again, they could've just been related to a witch or wizard but were muggles themselves. Who knows. Certainly not him since Fate couldn't be bothered to inform him.

"Evans, are you listening to me?!"

Hadrian blinks out of his thoughts. "Yes, I'm listening, what is it?"

Draco glares. His features are so… pointy at this age that the expression doesn't really carry the impact he's probably going for, but Hadrian figures it would be unnecessarily mean to mention it, so he doesn't. Instead, he quickly reviews everything Draco has said, and there wasn't actually a question anywhere in there, as far as Hadrian can tell, but maybe Draco really does want an introduction. Seems like a waste of breath though.

"Is there a point to introducing myself?" He asks. "Everybody heard my name at the Sorting. You even just used it so it's not like you don't know."

Draco splutters as if that wasn't what he expected Hadrian to say. He recovers after a moment and opts to glower harder instead, as if that would hide the way the pink in his cheeks is slowly turning red. Poor bastard. That's what you get when you have a pale complexion and fluster easily.

"Are you actually a mudblood then?" He demands contemptuously.

Hadrian honestly doesn't know, but he can't say that, so he volleys back, "Does Slytherin accept muggleborns?"

He knows they take halfbloods, but he can't remember any muggleborns in Slytherin, although if there are any, he doubts they would be willing to broadcast it, even if it means inventing a magical parent in their family tree.

"Of course not!" Draco refutes, sounding scandalized.

Hadrian can't tell if that's actually true, or if that's just Draco's own belief, but it does make things easier. "Then…" He shrugs. "If you already know, why are you asking?"

A beat of silence passes, then two. The red deepens in Draco's face as he hisses dramatically, "Are you mocking me?"

Hadrian suppresses a sigh. He probably is being too flippant for someone as high-strung as Draco, but it's still a far sight from mockery. He can definitely do better if he wants to taunt someone. Had his world's Draco been this easily riled up? They hadn't even really gotten into any exchange of insults yet. "I wouldn't say I'm-"

He stops.

Across the room, Draco has pulled out his wand, and when he realizes that Hadrian's broken off mid-sentence, the flush recedes from his face, and a triumphant smirk instantly takes its place instead.

"Since you've been sorted into Slytherin," Draco announces, raising his wand with a ridiculously showy flourish that makes Hadrian twitch with the desire to correct his posture. "You should know your place. Mouthing off to your betters is a good way to get cursed around here, especially when you're in the presence of someone like me." He sneers down his nose even as his chin tips up, all peacock proud. "My name is Malfoy. Draco Malfoy. Even the likes of your kind should've heard of my family." He looks smug, as if a mere surname can protect him from anything when it comes down to it. "You'll be staying here for the next four years, Evans, and I guarantee you'll have a miserable time of it if you get on my bad side. But today's your first day at Hogwarts, so I can be generous. If you apologize, I'll let you go just this once."

An expectant hush falls as Draco finishes his little speech. Hadrian doesn't say anything right away, still turning over the packet of quills in his hands, still waiting. When nothing happens after a good five seconds tick by, and the silence gradually becomes strained, Hadrian finally nods at Draco's wand, "So are you going to use that or not?"

The stunned look of outrage on Draco's face is gold.

"Don't say I didn't warn you, Evans!" Draco snarls, jabbing out with his wand. "Oscausi!"

Hadrian has time to arch an eyebrow at the choice of a pseudo-silencing charm before he's flipping a quill into the fingers of his left hand. A swipe of his thumb leaves a chain of runes glittering along its shaft, and then he brings it up, catches the oncoming spell with the tip, and swats it aside with a flick of his wrist, all in one fluid motion. His right hand doesn't stay still either as his wand slides neatly into his palm, and a single wordless modified Expelliarmus darts out and attaches itself to Draco's wand.

The white light of the Mouth-Sealing Charm is sent soaring across the room, shattering against the door in a shower of harmless sparks, and in the heavy silence that follows, Hadrian smiles.

He thinks it's a very bland smile, if he does say so himself. At the very least, he's careful to not look too intimidating or too unhinged, the way he can sometimes get, if some of his dead friends were to be believed, back during the war. Nevertheless, it still makes Draco blanch white, makes Crabbe and Goyle shrink back, makes Zabini lean further back into a convenient shadow and Nott go utterly still from where he's sitting on his bed.

Hadrian glances down at the remains of his writing utensil, most of the barbs now burnt black. It was a regular quill after all, not exactly made to withstand so much magic. He looks back up, at Draco who has a white-knuckled grip on his wand, and with his own wand, he gives the other's a tug, just enough to make Draco's eyes go wide with something like panic, but not enough to actually disarm him and - considering the sheer amount of honed intent in the charm that even Draco can undoubtedly sense - most likely bend the wand's allegiance.

Hadrian holds it for a moment longer, and then lets go. Draco staggers back a step, jerking his wand down and reflexively pressing it into his chest as if he's trying to protect it, or maybe assure himself that it still belongs to him.

Hadrian tucks his wand back up his sleeve before stooping down to pick up the rest of the quills he'd dropped. The burnt one goes in the bin by his desk.

Nobody speaks. Nobody even moves. So Hadrian does.

"That took you almost five seconds," He begins almost conversationally as he opens a drawer to stash his remaining quills away. "From when you decided to fire that spell to actually firing it. And that's not even counting all the time you wasted saying the stuff before that, after you already took out your wand. It's stupid. When you draw with the intent to harm, you shouldn't give any warning at all. And the spell itself was slow. You should work on that."

He pauses, and there's still no response, which he supposes makes sense. He doubts anybody here wants to listen to him preach. He should just wrap things up since the plan is moving along so neatly.

"Anyway, this is pretty unfortunate," He switches gears and smiles again, as fit-for-public-polite as he knows how to be. It doesn't seem to make anyone feel better, but he also doesn't feel like he was that heavy-handed earlier, was he? Ah well, can't change anything now, and it's still in line with what he wants so it doesn't matter.

"I wasn't really expecting to make any friends since I know the average Slytherin's views on blood isn't exactly in my favour," He continues in light tones. "But I was hoping that we could at least remain on civil terms and get along as schoolmates, if only because we'll be living together for the rest of our time at Hogwarts. Since that doesn't seem to be possible anymore though, how about we just go with the simplest solution?"

Hadrian surveys the room and smiles some more. "You ignore me and I’ll ignore you. You attack me and I'll retaliate. An eye for an eye, so to speak. Everybody just needs to mind their own business, and there won't be any problems. That's fair enough, don't you think?"

His gaze settles once more on Draco. "Since you're the only one who's said anything so far, I'll assume you speak for everyone in this dorm. Draco Malfoy, right? So then, do we understand each other now?"

Across from him, Draco shivers imperceptibly like a rabbit caught at the wrong end of a predator's line of sight, but he also swallows and nods and gingerly puts his wand away. It looks like it costs him, but - at least for now - he seems both too shocked and too afraid to try anything else.

"Great!" Hadrian says cheerfully before cocking his head as a thought occurs to him. "Oh, right, one more thing."

He lets his smile fall away. Lets his expression smooth over into marble. And then he lets his magic flare, lets the pressure of it roll across the room like the black merciless depths of a storm-tossed ocean, lets it eclipse them all like death come to call, and then he brings it crashing down, not most of it, not even half, because he hasn't forgotten that these are children, that they're still young, and they can learn, they can be better, and Hadrian doesn't actually want to traumatize them permanently.

But he also remembers Draco - his world's Draco - telling him once, in a fit of aggravated exasperation during one of those times when they'd devolved into insulting each other's House traits yet again because they still hadn't understood what made the other tick, but they had also reached a point in their friendship where they'd started trying to, and kept trying.

"Slytherins respect power," Draco had said, not for the first time, but then he'd also added, for the first time, and haltingly as if he hadn't known why he'd had to explain it at all, "How else are you going to know they're worth your time? Or I guess worth befriending, in your Gryffindor terms."

"You don't decide whether or not to make friends based on how powerful someone is."

"Slytherins don't have friends. I only said friend because you're a Gryffindor and you don't understand anything else."

"Fine, you don't decide whether or not to associate with every single person you come across in your life based on how powerful they are either."

"Why not?"

"Why would you??"

"How else would you know they're strong enough to stand with you? Or competent enough to protect themselves? Power is a good starting line. If they're powerful enough, then they won't be afraid to face your enemies with you, and you can trust them to be capable of keeping themselves safe without having to keep an eye on them every minute of the day. Only brainless Gryffindors prefer doing things like throwing themselves in the line of fire and dying dramatically for each other and calling that a win. Let me tell you something, Potter - it's not a victory when you're forced to suffer a loss. You haven't won anything if you're not around to enjoy the aftermath. So the best allies must be ones who are powerful enough to not only achieve their goals but also survive them."

"…"

"Well, I will grudgingly admit that I didn't put quite that much thought into it when I was younger, but who did? …It's what I believe now though. Did I finally get it through your thick skull this time, Potter?"

After that particular conversation, Hadrian had understood a little better, even if he hadn't entirely agreed with it all. But he hadn't forgotten a single word, and Draco was right— as they are, these kids definitely aren't thinking that deeply, but Hadrian thinks that the core of it at least is the same. Slytherins respect power. And he has power in spades, so at the very least, he can make them respect him.

Of course, if that also happens to make them afraid of him, then, well, he was never aiming to be their friend or even ally anyway. So long as they leave him alone, it's fine.

He brings his magic to bear, allows the weight of it to fall and fall and fall, and he watches dispassionately as Draco goes grey, as Crabbe and Goyle's knees buckle, as Zabini flinches back like he wants to melt into the walls, as Nott curls into himself and may or may not have stopped breathing.

Hadrian catches Draco's eye, and doesn't let him look away. "I have no betters. Do I make myself clear?"

He'd spent half his life being beaten down by the Dursleys, told over and over that he was worth nothing, that he didn’t deserve food or clothes or kindness, that he was a waste of space and better off dead. He'd spent a good chunk of his Hogwarts career obliviously dancing to Dumbledore's tune, and then some more of it knowingly dancing to it because what else could he do with a target on his back. He'd spent over twenty years shackled to Voldemort, to his parents' legacy, to a war that had loved him a whole lot more than he'd ever loved it. And he'd been Fate's everything since before he'd ever even been born.

Some days, he wonders if he even knows what freedom is anymore. Or if he's ever known at all.

But one thing he is sure of is that he will never passively tolerate anyone controlling what he can or cannot do ever again.

Draco whimpers something like agreement, like deference, like surrender, and- that's enough. Hadrian reels it all back, all his magic hidden away again, and in the dizzying wake of its abrupt disappearance, Draco collapses, barely catching himself and his dignity with the edge of his bed. Crabbe and Goyle do crash to the ground, while Zabini has to steady himself against his nightstand, and Nott sways like he might faint.

Too much, Hadrian thinks distantly, and tries to feel bad about it because he really hadn't meant to go that far, but his lines in the sand have also long since blurred away beneath a tide of blood and corpses.

Mostly, he just feels tired, and it has nothing to do with his displays of magic tonight.

He breathes. Turns. Grabs a towel and his underwear and pyjamas and pretends everything's fine. It is fine, now. He's gotten what he wanted. "It's getting late. I'll shower first. Won't be long."

And then he's exiting stage right, straight into the bathroom, and it's a relief to close the door behind him.

Of course, that sentiment is one that's shared by probably every single person in the room.

-0-0-0-

Theo is awake before anyone else the next morning. Or at least he thinks he is because he usually is. But everybody's curtains are drawn, and after last night, he doubts anyone was able to sleep right away, if at all, with the exception of their new roommate.

Hadrian Evans. Great Merlin, where had this person even come from? Even just the memory of his magic - vast and endless and utterly uncompromising - pressing down on them like the sky had fallen on their heads, makes his hands want to shake all over again. For a long, suspended, suffocating moment that could've lasted an eternity, Theo could've sworn he was going to die last night. And the most terrifying thing is that he is absolutely certain that Evans hadn't even been trying that hard.

Evans had radiated enough raw power to force all of them to their knees if he'd really wanted to. But he'd held back. He'd only given them a glimpse, just enough to warn them off. The rest of his magic had been out of reach, but present. It was there, reined in and waiting, but the shape of it and the depth of it had felt… unfathomable, as if it had no limits.

And that doesn't even account for the spellwork he had done. Theo had recognized the Disarming Charm, but last he checked, the average Expelliarmus only deprived a wizard of their wand. A more powerful one might send the target flying and even knock them out, but he's never heard of one that can… threaten to disarm your opponent at your leisure and - if Theo wasn't mistaken - force the wand to forsake its owner. Everybody knows that that's always a possibility in a real duel; if you win and take your opponent's wand, then that wand might not work for its owner anymore. But most of the time, you have to mean it, you have to set out with the intent to do it, the buildup of magic in the duel itself gives that intent a foundation, and there has to be an actual possibly life-threatening conflict of interest between the parties too, a real enmity that even last night - however excessive the exchange - shouldn't have qualified. Squabbles between students just don't count. If it did, with the Disarming Charm being taught in school, there would be a lot more students in need of new wands. The only way Theo can rationalize it happening anyway is that Evans must've been strong enough to compel the wand itself to leave its owner.

Pity he hadn't gone through with it in the end. Evans is powerful, but he's also… Theo is hesitant to call him soft, but if it had been Malfoy, if it had been Blaise or even himself or pretty much any other Slytherin, they would've done it. He's unsure of why Evans hadn't.

And then there had been the thing with the quill. Theo can't even explain that, and he'd mulled it over for half the night. He has the… incidental fortune of occupying the bed closest to Evans', so as soon as Evans had ducked into the bathroom last night, and the others had been distracted with pulling themselves together and possibly trying not to wet themselves, Theo had chanced a swift peek into Evans' wastebasket.

It really had looked just like any other regular quill, one that'd been burnt completely black and missing most of its barbs, but it had been a quill. He'd been tempted to open Evans' desk drawer to check the other quills, but - with Evans' ultimatum still ringing in his ears - he hadn't been that suicidal, so he'd refrained. But from what he could recall, the pack it had come from had looked just like the mass-produced writing utensils one could find in any stationery shop in Diagon Alley.

Whatever he'd done though, he had made it look like child's play. A quill and a Disarming Charm, so fast that Theo could've blinked and missed it. Could someone like that really have remained in obscurity all this time? Evans had apparently been homeschooled up until now, and they haven't even attended their first class yet, but by anyone's definition, after last night, he can't claim to be anything less than a prodigy.

It's… unbelievable. And not even because of any of the blood purity ideals that Malfoy likes to preach about. Theo doesn't think much of muggleborns or halfbloods, but he also doesn't think much of most purebloods, so he's fairly certain it's not high society prejudices that's driving his disbelief. It's just… He's never met anyone - not even his father, and Merlin knows Theo's been afraid of him for as long as he can remember - as effortlessly powerful as Evans had shown himself to be, and he doesn't understand how nobody has heard even a whisper of a rumour of this boy before he'd arrived at Hogwarts.

Someone like him shouldn't exist. Or perhaps there has been one, and that had been how the Dark Lord had made so many people bow at his feet or cower in their homes, but Theo had never met him in person, and so all he has is Evans' example to draw from. And not a single witch or wizard whom Theo's ever met could compare.

Has Evans just been hiding himself? Maybe his family hid him before they deemed him ready to face the rest of the world, and he's certainly proven that he can hide it when he wants to. But what kind of family can bring up this kind of wizard? Evans is only fourteen. None of them had thought him anything special before he'd revealed exactly how wrong they were. And he probably wouldn't have done even that much if Malfoy hadn't immediately taken a go at him, always so obsessed with making sure everyone knows he sits at the top of the food chain.

Well, he certainly doesn't anymore, and if Theo hadn't been caught up in the confrontation last night just like everyone else, he would've been tempted to applaud the spectacle of Malfoy being taken down a peg or ten. Before Evans' arrival, Theo was the one Malfoy liked to take jabs at every few days, and it was only partly because he'd had a halfblood mother. The Notts could've been said to be respectably rich once upon a time, but after the war had ended, with his father's political clout being almost nonexistent and most of their extended relatives either dead or in Azkaban, they'd been easy pickings for the Aurors. His father had escaped prison time with the Imperius excuse and some bribes, but that hadn't prevented multiple raids on their home and a hefty list of fines that had left their vaults near-depleted. And what little fortune they have left is reserved almost entirely for Theo's father's alchemy obsession that's more often focused on illegal research topics than not, as well as his black market dealings, although neither of those at least is widely known, or who knows if they would even have their ancestral manor left after the Aurors were done with them?

Malfoy loved reminding him of almost every one of those things as often as he could, and the most absurd thing is that - more than being born from a halfblood mother or poverty or loss of prestige - Theo's pretty sure Malfoy's biggest reason for disliking Theo is because Theo had refused to follow him around like Crabbe and Goyle back in first year.

So here they are now, and after three years, Theo had more or less become inured, not to mention it wasn't as if Malfoy only bullied him, or even bullied him the most - nobody could top that list while Potter and Weasley were around to fight for first place on it - but it had still been annoying and stressful because Theo was the only one who had to share a dorm with him. Considering the Malfoys' standing in society however, all he could ever do was stay silent and bear with it.

Admittedly, he'd been a little happy when Evans had been sorted into Slytherin, because between Theo and an unknown halfblood-at-best with no allies and no significant family background to speak of, the perfect prey in every way, Malfoy would definitely enjoy targeting the latter more, and even if the blond ponce still came after Theo, it would at least take some of the pressure off of him.

Now… well. That will still probably pick back up sooner or later, but Theo resents it less when he thinks about how it will take at least a few weeks before Malfoy will be able to strut around again after last night's humiliation. And also…

He thinks again of last night, of how Evans had basically smacked Malfoy down like he was nothing more than an unruly upstart getting above himself, and of that quiet oath too - I have no betters - and it hadn't even been pride or arrogance or superiority, only stone-cold certain fact.

He thinks of the fear he'd felt, but behind that, beneath that, more than that, there had also been nothing less than a breathless, heady, wondrous sense of reverence that had settled itself behind his ribcage, in his lungs, in the sudden hungry swell of curiosity that he'd just barely managed to lock behind his teeth, and it had only grown stronger after a night of fitful sleep.

He wants to see that magic again. He wants to know what else Evans can do.

And most importantly, he wants to know if he can do it too.

-0-

Ten minutes later, Theo hears Evans pull his bed curtains back. Very cautiously, he twitches his own curtains open half an inch to watch Evans get up, stretching languidly and scrubbing a hand through his messy black hair before gathering up his toiletries and a change of clothes. Like this, he looks completely normal, nothing at all like someone who could flatten all five of his roommates with a thoughtless flex of his magic. Even his eyes are just green now, no longer glowing like the light of a Killing Curse.

Of course, then Evans waves a hand at his window curtains, which obediently sweep open in response, and… yes, why not? Wandless magic seems par for the course for Evans, even if Theo has only ever heard of a handful of seventh-years capable of some very basic wandless spells if they concentrate hard enough.

Evans leaves for the bathroom as if casual uses of wandless magic is an everyday occurrence for him, and only after the door has closed does Theo let himself relax.

Evans had never even glanced over, but somehow, Theo thinks the other boy had known he was being watched anyway. But he'd said nothing, hadn't even given any indication that he'd noticed, let alone minded. Theo still isn't sure why he'd let Malfoy off so easily yesterday - because on hindsight, when it came down to it, all Evans had really done was scare them and scare Malfoy most of all; despite the verbal abuse and even the Dark charm Malfoy had shot at him, Evans hadn't actually hurt any of them in return - and Theo doesn't get it but maybe part of it is just because Evans doesn't take offence easily.

It seems unwise to Theo to not at least dole out some injuries as a reminder when that offence had been as insolent as Malfoy's, but perhaps Evans has his own measure of such things. Besides, Malfoy's known to say worse. Theo's looking forward to what happens if Malfoy forgets himself and says something even more loathsome. It's not impossible. Malfoy has been unchallenged since he came to Hogwarts. He's used to saying and doing whatever he wants, even to the upper years and those outside his own House. Most people ignore him when they can and indulge him when they can't, or otherwise manage or placate him with their own methods, but the one thing no one has ever done is tell him no, tell him to stop and make it stick. Potter and Weasley tend to give as good as they get, what with how short their tempers are, but they're louder and more obvious about it, so they get caught more often, which just makes them even angrier, so it never actually feels like they win, even when Malfoy doesn't either. Certainly, no amount of lectures or point loss has managed to deflate his ego.

But now there's Hadrian Evans. Theo doesn't need a second demonstration to know that Malfoy is outclassed in every way, but funnily enough, Malfoy himself might need it.

Theo eyes the bathroom door for a moment longer before finally getting up himself. He's barely set his feet on the rug before Blaise - in the bed on Theo's other side - also whips open his curtains, looking far more alert than he ever has this early in the morning.

For several seconds, they stare at each other in silence. And then - because he isn't sure if the other three boys in the room are awake yet - Theo pitches his voice even lower than usual and says, "He said Malfoy spoke for us."

Blaise blinks twice, and then something like distaste curves up at one corner of his mouth. "I heard."

Theo nods. They're on the same page then. Neither of them is particularly keen on this opinion that Evans has regrettably formed, Theo because of obvious reasons, and Blaise because he's Blaise.

Blaise has always been strange. He's the type who gets along with everyone and gets along with no one. You'd be hard-pressed to find anyone - biased Gryffindors aside - who would say a bad word about him, but they'd probably have to think a while if you asked them to describe something of personal significance about him too. It's not that he's average - he's never failed a class, and he's especially good at Potions - but for all that he can carry a conversation in a way that makes everyone feel comfortable and included, and he could probably talk rings around a politician without making them feel stupid, he also never lets anyone close enough to actually get to know him. He's approachable, but only when he wants you to approach him. He's generous with his smiles, but sometimes, it feels a little like he's laughing at you. He might say something condescending or spiteful to you one day, but he has the kind of charisma that makes you forget that the very next. People might call him friend and invite him over for a chat or a game of chess, but most don't make any attempts to go beyond that. And if you know what to look for, as Theo has learned to do, you would realize - Blaise views the world like it's one big boring joke, and his estimation of most of the people in it is probably somewhere around the level of dancing clowns.

Theo doesn't mind. The two of them aren't friends either. They're also not enemies though, and occasionally, they can be allies, but only when Blaise feels like it. Sometimes, the other boy will distract Malfoy from messing up Theo's potion in class or launching yet another diatribe on all of Theo's deficiencies, but Theo will never ask him to because he has nothing to repay Blaise with.

It works for them. Blaise does what Blaise wants, and even Malfoy can't control him. Theo is secretly envious of that— with the Zabinis' seat of power in Italy, it means they don't have that much clout in Britain, and yet nobody messes with Blaise, not even the few who don't buy into Blaise's charm or simply hate him because he's a Slytherin. Not even Malfoy messes with him, and even Theo can't tell if it's Malfoy's self-preservation instincts kicking in to ensure that he isn't about to go insulting someone with a black widow mother like Blaise's, or if Malfoy genuinely hasn't noticed that Blaise doesn't respect him at all no matter how pleasant his words can be. Honestly, when it comes to Malfoy, there's a decent chance of either option being true.

With all that in mind though, it's not a surprise that Blaise isn't pleased with being slotted in as one of Malfoy's lackeys, especially by someone as impressive - or, as Blaise might put it, entertaining - as Hadrian Evans has swiftly proved himself to be.

"It's fine," Blaise says next, rolling out of bed to get ready for the day. He's already regained his typical lazy slouch, as if he hadn't been just as terrified as the rest of them last night. His eyes slide to the bathroom, then away, unreadable but more focused than Theo's ever seen them. "We live in the same dorm, and we'll attend at least most of the same classes. He'll see soon enough that we don't share the same opinions as Malfoy."

Theo watches him dig into his wardrobe. "And then?"

"Then?" Blaise tips a more familiar look of knowing amusement at him. "Then you do what you want, and I'll do what I want, and at the very least, we'll have the good sense to not throw ourselves straight onto a hippogriff's talons like dear Draco."

Theo smothers a snort and rises to his feet. Neither he nor Blaise take Care of Magical Creatures, but everybody had heard of Malfoy's idiocy last year. The phrase "my father will hear about this!" had reached a record high by winter's end. Not much had come of it, not when Hagrid had had the likes of James Potter and Sirius Black and Albus Dumbledore championing him. Even Lucius Malfoy would - and had, more than once over the years - find it difficult to contend with the British wizarding world's vaunted war heroes when they join forces. In the end, Hagrid could continue teaching so long as he did it alongside a second professor hired by the school, and even the hippogriff got to live. Malfoy had not been happy, and he'd made sure everybody knew it too, but at least he'd also whined less about it once Slytherin House had learned to snigger about it where he wouldn't hear.

But 'throwing oneself onto a hippogriff's talons' had become rather popular vernacular ever since, subtle enough that even Malfoy couldn't call anyone out on using it without embarrassing himself, but funny to everyone who understood, and nobody could even say who'd started the phrase. Theo's money would be on Blaise though.

The bathroom is spelled so that nobody outside can hear anything when the door is shut, but they can hear the lock click open just fine, and almost in tandem, he and Blaise both immerse themselves in picking out their outfits for the day as if it's a task that requires every last bit of their attention.

Evans walks out. True to his word, he ignores them completely, neither greeting them nor sparing them a glance as he moves back to his section of the dorm. Theo watches him out of the corner of his eye as the boy folds his pyjamas away before proceeding to pack his bag. He catches a glimpse of an Ancient Runes textbook, and his mind abruptly flashes back to the quill. But… that can't be right.

Evans shuts his bag, pulls on his robes, and toes on his shoes. Like this, there's something vaguely familiar about him that Theo can't place right away, and the thought is gone again as Evans slings his bag over his shoulder and strides for the door.

He still doesn't look at any of them, and he's gone from the room a moment later. They might as well have been empty air.

Theo's fingers tighten around the shirt he's holding. Somehow, he-

-doesn't like it.

-0-

Malfoy gets up two minutes after Evans is gone, moving around with an exaggeratedly unaffected sort of poise that makes Theo want to roll his eyes. At least the blond doesn't try to make conversation until Crabbe and Goyle wake up as well.

Evans aside, Theo is the first out of the room, as per usual, although this time, Blaise accompanies him up to the common room and out of the Dungeon. It takes no time at all to arrive at the Great Hall, and this early, most of the four House tables are still empty of students, although more and more are gradually drifting in in groups of threes and fours.

Unlike the other Houses who like cramming into whatever space they see, Slytherins are more political about it. The end seats are left to the outcasts or first-years who don't know better yet, while the midway point of the table is typically reserved for the most influential students, such as those with the best grades or the largest range of social connections or the strongest family background, or some combination of the three. And everybody else arranges themselves between the two extremes accordingly. The only time that changes - from what Theo has heard - is when someone is so magically powerful that they can overwhelm everyone else. Then it doesn't matter what grades or connections or background they have because magic is respected most of all, although they would usually have some qualifications in those other areas. But either way, they would be given reigning place of pride in the middle with their chosen followers around them, and everybody else would sit where they're told to sit, regardless of their accomplishments.

Someone like that hasn't come along in fifty years though, not since the Dark Lord was still at Hogwarts.

So it's jarring to see Evans seated at the very end, furthest away from the High Table, with a book open in front of him and a steaming mug in one hand, but Theo supposes it shouldn't be. He's newly transferred in, and a halfblood besides, so he probably doesn't know about the traditional seating arrangement, and since it's still just the second day of school, it's not as if anybody else outside their dorm knows that Evans is anything but the unfortunate fourth-year with a muggle surname sorted into Slytherin, so he really can be considered an outcast.

Theo exchanges a look with Blaise before tentatively taking a seat at their usual spot a few feet away from the halfway point of the table. It doesn't feel right to… go over Evans' head like this, but it's not like they can really do anything about it at the moment. Theo in particular is technically sitting above his station, but his family is still one of the Sacred Twenty-Eight, no matter how far it's fallen, and he gets decent grades in almost every class. He's also on friendly terms with Blaise, and the fact that he shares a dorm with Malfoy is a double-edged sword. Malfoy has the status to sit near the middle ever since he was a first-year, and it wouldn't look very good for him if he's seen completely spurning a Nott in his generation. So Theo is largely left alone so long as he looks like he's nominally part of Malfoy's group during mealtimes.

Theo spends the next five minutes sneaking sidelong glances down the table. Blaise does the same, and neither of them is obvious about it so nobody comes up to ask them any questions. Other Slytherins begin filing in, and more than one wrinkles their nose or sneers when they pass Evans, as if they've smelled something repulsive.

Theo has to make an effort not to wince every time it happens. Blaise watches with a shallow smirk hitched across his face and something cold and callous and thoroughly amused in his eyes.

By the time Malfoy - with Crabbe and Goyle on either side of him - sits down across from them, about half the table is full, plates of breakfast have started appearing, and Evans still hasn't looked up from his reading.

Malfoy - much less subtle - shoots something sulky and resentful with just a dash of fear down the table and mutters, "Doesn't even know how to sit properly."

Theo really does roll his eyes this time, although he makes sure to do it down at his scone. Before anyone can say anything else though, Evans unexpectedly straightens, his attention finally lifting from his book. Malfoy immediately stiffens as well like he thinks Evans had heard him from all the way down the table, which Theo wouldn't put past Evans's ability but also doesn't think that Evans thinks that Malfoy is worth that effort to eavesdrop on.

Evans looks around, but not at any of the Slytherins. He cranes his head over one shoulder, seems to catch sight of whatever he's looking for, and gets up, shutting his book and tossing it back in his bag. Then he's making his way across the Hall, past the Hufflepuffs and the Ravenclaws, straight over to the Gryffindor table that's only partially filled at the moment but is also hosting the Golden Trio, who had just come down for breakfast.

Evans stops a few feet away, and Longbottom, Weasley, and Granger turn to face him. What Theo can see of their expressions indicate that they're surprised and a little wary, but they also seem like they know each other. They converse about something, Weasley makes some exaggerated hand gestures, Granger smacks him, and then Evans says something else that makes the Gryffindors burst into laughter, startled but bright.

And then Evans moves forward and-

-sits down.

At the Gryffindor table.

Longbottom and Granger are smiling, and even Weasley - with his hatred for everything Slytherin - seems fine with it, going back to plating more food for himself while passing some sausages over to Evans.

In Theo's peripheral, Malfoy's face has lost so much colour that he could pass for a ghost. Theo can't tell if he's just that offended or if he's actually managed to comprehend the fact that he's already alienated possibly the most magically powerful student at Hogwarts from Slytherin House, to the point where that student doesn't even want to eat at the same table as them, and classes haven't even started yet.

Theo can't tell, nor does he care, but if he'd ever needed any more reasons to despise Draco Malfoy, this would be it.

He averts his gaze from Evans, even if the mere thought of him preferring a bunch of Gryffindors - and those Gryffindors at that; the only ones worse would be Potter's lot - over his own House is… grating. But staring isn't going to win Theo any favours and might just tick Evans off. Besides, there are plenty of others who have noticed a Slytherin sitting with Gryffindors, and they're staring enough for ten of him.

He starts on his breakfast. School has just begun. There's plenty more time in the future to observe Hadrian Evans.

-0-0-0-

Within the space of a week, Theo is cautiously pleased to find that he shares all nine classes with Evans. The core subjects are mandatory of course, but in addition to Ancient Runes, Evans also takes Arithmancy, both of which Theo is also studying, and after three weeks, he gets a slightly more detailed picture of what Evans is capable of.

In class, Evans doesn't stand out, or at least not in a way most people would notice. He doesn't take the initiative to answer questions posed by the teachers, and his spells and potions aren't particularly dazzling when they're assigned practical classwork.

But every time a professor calls on him, Evans always answers correctly. Every time they have to practice a new spell, Evans doesn't clamour to be the first to show off, and he isn't the one who produces it with the most eye-catching burst of magic, but when he's asked to show his progress, he always does it exactly the way the teacher demonstrated it at the beginning of class. Even in Potions, all he does is work discreetly in the back corner on the Slytherin side of the room. He never finishes early, but he also never finishes late, never failing to turn in a textbook-perfect potion ten minutes before class ends, and a couple times, Theo catches Snape watching Evans with an inscrutable expression after the boy quietly hands in yet another flawless potion.

After three weeks, Theo can conclude that while Evans doesn't deliberately dumb himself down, and in fact is performing spectacularly across the board, he does it in such a reserved, inconspicuous manner that even most of the professors probably aren't going to notice until they've graded a good few months' worth of homework and tests.

He does it for every subject. Every single one, except Ancient Runes, and Theo is convinced that that's less because Evans didn't try, and more that… well, some brilliance just can't be hidden.

In the third week, when Babbling hands back their first assignment - Acceptables and Poors all around of course; some days, Theo isn't sure if he wants to strangle Babbling or himself, just to put himself out of the misery that is attempting to understand anything their Runes professor says - she holds Evans back at the end of class, and half the students snicker like they think he's in trouble or did so badly that even Babbling can't stand it, and it's the best joke they've ever seen. But two days later, some papers that Evans has left out on his desk while he's off doing something else, probably with his Gryffindor buddies, catch Theo's eye while he's on his way to his own desk. More specifically, the symbol of the Department of Magical Education stamped on them catches Theo's eye, and after some very hasty and very undignified neck-straining and squinting from a prudent five feet away, he more or less understands.

Babbling hadn't held Evans back because he was doing badly. Babbling had held him back because he was doing so good he would be sitting his Ancient Runes O.W.L. and N.E.W.T. exams on the twenty-third of October.

Three minutes after that revelation, Theo's still sitting somewhat dazed in his chair when Malfoy returns, Crabbe and Goyle in tow. The blond also spots the papers on Evans' desk and - after suffering day after day of, in Malfoy's increasingly belligerent opinion, being disgraced by Evans due to all the time he was spending with Gryffindors, and even three of the ones Malfoy hates most - practically lights up with a malicious sort of glee at the opportunity to get a little revenge.

He seems to have already forgotten that first night's lesson, and it hasn't even been a month yet. Sometimes, Theo is honestly baffled by Malfoy's Sorting into Slytherin. What ambition is there in a boy whose solution to everything in life is to fall back on his father and surname and family money? What cunning is there to speak of when he so often acts without even considering the option of leaving himself a way out, just in case his taunts and schemes backfire on him one day?

Or perhaps the real mystery is how he's managed to go this long without anyone telling him that the world won't always bend to his demands.

"O.W.L. and N.E.W.T. exams?" Malfoy says loudly as he wanders over to read the papers. He scoffs. "No matter how much magic he has, there's no way that's possible. He's just a fourth-year. And a halfblood! I bet he paid Babbling to sign him up for them. Everybody knows she's not all there so Evans wouldn't even have to pay her a lot to persuade her."

Theo flicks a glance at Blaise, who'd brought up the rear, a few seconds behind Malfoy, and had entered on near-inaudible footsteps in time to witness this latest snowballing disaster. The taller boy's lip curls, and his next words come out in such a nonchalant drawl that it takes a moment for Malfoy to register the bite of them, "Why would he do that though? He's not you."

Malfoy flushes an unflattering shade of red. "Zabini! That's not funny!"

Blaise's insults are always taken as jokes. Theo thinks that's the only way Malfoy can weather them, because he doesn't truly dare to cross Blaise, so even if he does know better, he still has to feign ignorance.

"It can't be possible," Malfoy repeats, turning back to the papers. "Otherwise, why hasn't he said anything about it? If it were me, I'd let everyone know! Obviously, he knows he'll fail, so he doesn't dare to spread it around."

Theo tries to wrap his mind around that logic, fails, and gives it up as a bad job.

"Then, why is he taking them?" Crabbe suddenly pipes up, blinking with a befuddled air in Malfoy's direction.

Malfoy rolls his eyes. "Obviously, Crabbe, it's to impress the Boy Who Lived. You've seen how Evans is constantly fawning over Longbottom." And there's the jealousy leaking into his voice even as it strengthens as if he's gaining confidence in his conjecture the longer he speaks. "He's still just a vulgar halfblood with subpar upbringing after all. He needs political connections if he wants to make anything of himself in our world. And Longbottom's a soft touch, and an idiot besides at everything that isn't digging in the dirt. Just trying to take the exams is probably enough to make him think Evans is a genius."

He takes another step forward, almost hovering over the desk now, childish spite tarnishing his features. "Let's see what the rest of Slytherin thinks of this. We are in the same House so Evans should look for support from real purebloods. I'll help him out."

Malfoy reaches out, and Theo goes still, staring, avid and unblinking.

(Greedy.)

Hadrian Evans does not disappoint him.

Malfoy's hand lands on the papers, and it's as if a miniature explosion takes place. There's no warning as the desk ignites with enough interlocked, interwoven, bloody intricate runes to send anyone reeling. It blankets the entire desk in layers of circles and lines and eye-watering spirals, before even those disappear in a blaze of brilliant silver light that pulses once before bursting outward and knocking Malfoy clean off his feet.

Malfoy screams as he's sent flying across the room in a tangle of flailing limbs and flapping robes. Coincidentally - or not? - he lands on his bed in a graceless upside-down heap, the bag he's still wearing smacks him in the face, and the momentum tumbles him straight over the far side of his bed and onto the floor with a final muffled thump that cuts Malfoy's shriek to a yelp.

The light disappears, along with the runes. The room goes eerily quiet, and for a long moment, nobody moves.

It's Blaise who reacts first.

He laughs.

It's enough to snap Malfoy out of his stupor. The blond scrambles to right himself, pushing to his feet, fury and humiliation writ large across his face as he opens his mouth to shout, "Shut up, Zabini! Wait until my father hears about this! Evans will regret-"

There's a clatter. The door opens.

Malfoy shuts up so fast Theo wouldn't be surprised if he bit his tongue.

Evans steps inside, and then stops. He looks around, looks at his desk, looks at a still dishevelled and increasingly pallid Malfoy, and then he shuts the door behind him and heaves a very deep sigh.

"Seriously?" He asks in rhetorical tones. "I just went to borrow a library book. I couldn't have been gone for more than thirty minutes."

Nobody says anything. Evans sighs again before striding over to his desk. He raises a hand and combs his fingers through the air— or perhaps something only he could see, and that's proven correct as a runic array shimmers into existence, swirling together before reshaping itself into-

-a memory.

Specifically, it's a replay of everything Malfoy had said and done as soon as he'd gotten within three feet of Evans' belongings, complete with sound and colour. It's basically a pensieve without the pensieve or the removal of memories to supply it.

Theo wants so badly that his teeth ache with the leashed desire to ask a million questions immediately.

Patience, he reminds himself.

"Hm," Evans says once the memory's run its course, and the runes wisp away once more. Theo is both surprised and not when the other boy proceeds to pull out his chair, sit down, and dig out his library book, clearly intent to continue his work.

Behind him, Malfoy seethes, and before he can think better of it, or he simply doesn't think, he barks out, "Do you think you can treat me this way, Evans? Do you know who my father is? When I tell him about this-"

"Tell him then," Evans interjects, leaning back to slant a cool look at Malfoy. "Tell him you tried to steal my things, and my wards tossed you onto your bed, and the only thing it really bruised was your ego. Or you can lie and make up something that would make you more of a victim, and big bad mudblood Hadrian Evans bullied you terribly. What's the worst that could happen? Expulsion?" He huffs a laugh, and as far as Theo can tell, the thread of mirth that laces the sound is astonishingly sincere. "Malfoy, I don't actually care. I don't need Hogwarts."

He really doesn't. Worse comes to worst, which other school would be daft enough to not scoop him up if they see what he can do with runes? And that's not even getting into everything else he can do. Any school would accept him in a heartbeat and then laugh themselves to tears if Lucius Malfoy actually managed to get him ejected from Britain's sphere of influence on some trumped up charges just because his son went crying to him. Besides, since Evans had been previously homeschooled, he could always just return to that as well.

Malfoy opens his mouth, then closes it, and he does that a couple times, eyes wide in his face like he's never met anyone who has stonewalled him this way, who has challenged his authority so directly, more than once, and yet remains utterly unintimidated and untouchable.

Evidently, he never has.

Evans regards him for a few seconds more before sighing once more. "I thought I was clear enough that first night, but apparently not. When I say 'attack', I don't just mean with a wand. All my things are off-limits unless I say otherwise, so if I were you, I would keep my hands to myself. You don't want to know what my wards will do to you if they sense intentions worse than just petty theft. I hope you won't forget again."

He holds Malfoy's faltering gaze for a moment longer before turning back to his books and papers. Malfoy stumbles back a step as if he's been physically released, and he looks like he wants to pitch a temper tantrum but also doesn't dare. In the end, he storms out of the room without even straightening his robes or smoothing back his hair, and nobody tries to stop him or go after him, not even Crabbe or Goyle, who've both retreated to their beds, shoulders hunched, almost bowed, angled almost in Evans' direction.

Evans is already poring over his library book though, quill in one hand, inkwell set out, fresh parchment beside it. It's clear he's done interacting with the lot of them.

Theo almost lets it go, as he has every other time he wants to speak to Evans, to ask him questions, to know. He's already biting his tongue and swallowing down the words and opening his bag to fish out his homework.

Except-

It's been three weeks. Theo can be patient when he has to be, but more and more, it's… starting to feel like he doesn't have to be. He's had an entire childhood's worth of practice at dissecting emotions, at looking at a person's face and words and actions and taking all of them into account to figure out how they really feel, if they're angry at him or upset with him, if they're about to lash out even when they're smiling, or if there's still time to appease them even if they look like they're about to go for their wand.

Evans is harder to read than most, but at the very least, Theo can tell that he doesn't get angry often. In fact, there's only ever been that one time, that first night, and even for most of that incident, Evans had only acted to secure his own safety in their dorm once it became clear that Malfoy wasn't going to leave him alone otherwise. None of it had been driven by rage, not even when he'd nearly drowned them in the undertow of his magic over that particular handful of words Malfoy had jeered at him. And ever since then, Evans hasn't done anything except go about his business while ignoring theirs. That went for the rest of Slytherin too, and even some students in other Houses who don't like the fact that he's a Slytherin. Sometimes, they make snide remarks, usually behind his back, sometimes within his hearing range, and to a man, every student in their House has openly shunned him since he went to sit with the Golden Trio that first breakfast, but Evans has never given them a second glance, or really even a first glance, not out of anger or embarrassment or distress, and certainly not out of any desire for them to accept him, which just seems to offend them even more. But Evans is simply… indifferent to it all.

Most importantly, as much as Theo has been able to conclude, Evans isn't prone to violence. He always seems calm and easygoing when he's with the Golden Trio, and quiet the rest of the time. And from the very beginning, he's never done anything to harm any fellow Slytherins, not even Malfoy. Even his wards seem to have some kind of function worked into them that would rate the level of threat first and only respond with the same degree of damage.

Actually, not the same— if Malfoy had been caught taking another Slytherin's documents without permission, important or not, it wouldn't be too much even if they cursed his hands in return. They probably wouldn't, because it's Malfoy, and people are used to being more lenient with him, but normally, even Malfoy wouldn't do something that gauche anyway. No matter how much they've spoiled him, his parents have at least taught him pureblood etiquette. He's never even tried to rifle through Theo's belongings.

Admittedly, Theo had committed a slight faux pas as well when his curiosity had prompted him to read those Ministry forms, even if they were laid out on Evans' desk - unintentionally seeing them in passing was fine but the polite thing to do would've been to keep walking - but at least he hadn't been stupid enough to get too close, let alone put a single finger on them. Malfoy really only has his own poor impulse control to blame for going too far yet again, and Theo has every right to judge him for it.

Although since it was Evans, Malfoy had probably categorized him as someone who doesn't deserve a pureblood's courtesy.

Even then though, Evans hadn't retaliated with anything more than the ward equivalent of a watered down Knockback Jinx, which is basically a common prank amongst rowdier students. Malfoy's pride had - once again - been hurt, but nothing else, even when it would've been Evans' right. And he hadn't gotten angry this time either.

Of course, Theo isn't foolish enough to think Evans isn't capable of violence when he wants to be. If he's pushed far enough, Theo is certain that the other boy could and would inflict some significant damage that would at least end with a visit to the Hospital Wing. Perhaps it was his magic, the relentless weight of it that said it wouldn't hesitate to crush them if they proved themselves a real threat. Or perhaps it was Evans himself, who looks at Malfoy after each stunt like he's putting up with a recalcitrant child that he has to go easy on because said child is too young to know better, except the detachment in his gaze also says that he's weighing Malfoy's age on a scale and waiting for the day his youth will no longer be able to compensate for his actions.

Frankly, Theo hopes that day will come soon. But that's his pettiness talking, and Malfoy in general is none of his concern. What Theo really wants is to learn all those things for himself. Well, not all, he's more than self-aware enough to know he's nowhere near as powerful as Evans, but some of those things - the spellwork, the runes - surely those things can be taught to others even if they don't have incredible amounts of magic? Even if it's slow-going and difficult, Theo isn't afraid to work for it.

So long as he learns even just a little of what Evans knows - and he clearly knows so much, knows the things that can actually be useful in real life - then perhaps, one day, maybe even before he graduates Hogwarts… escaping his father won't be a fool's hope anymore. And if there's a chance that he can do that, then no matter how exorbitant the price Evans names, Theo would be willing to pay it, even if it takes him the rest of his life to honour the debt.

But nothing's going to happen if they're not even on speaking terms. It's been three weeks. Already three weeks. Only three weeks. Maybe it really is still too soon, but at the very least, Theo doesn't think Evans will do anything worse than say no.

At his back, he can feel Blaise's eyes on him, but he doesn't turn around.

"Is that-" His voice doesn't crack, thankfully, but it comes out croakier than normal, giving away his nervousness. He bites back the urge to hex himself and tries again. "Is that taught by the time we graduate?"

Evans… doesn't react, doesn't even look up. For several tense and increasingly awkward seconds, Theo thinks maybe the other boy will just continue ignoring him, or maybe he even thinks Theo is speaking to one of the others, not him.

But then he writes something down and flips a page of his book, and then he raises his head and shifts away from his desk to face Theo.

It's a little daunting, to suddenly have that piercing bright green regard aimed straight at him, but there's also no hostility that Theo can see, and that settles some of his nerves.

Evans looks at him, then frowns, then asks in return, blunt, but amazingly, willingly enough, "You mean the wards?"

Theo nods carefully, making sure he doesn't look too eager or too demanding. Masters of their trades are always rightfully reticent about their knowledge and skills to anyone who isn't their own mentor or apprentice, unless they're a teacher. Evans may not be a master signed and sealed and authorized to practice, but nobody who can write the exams at fourteen can be considered an amateur.

Evans shrugs. "I haven't exactly flipped through the Ancient Runes syllabus of every year so I can't really say. If it continues at the same pace as third-year and fourth-year though, then probably not. You'd maybe get to the point of basic wards, but not much more than that. Compound wards like these-" He raps his knuckles against his own desk. "-put crudely, requires the use of runic coils to weave together multiple basic arrays, on multiple levels, in varying sequential order depending on how multifaceted you want the wards to be. It's not that difficult once you start getting some practice in, but from what I hear, you guys don't even begin practical work until after your O.W.L., which… I don't really get, but maybe Hogwarts is big on theoretical learning. But yeah, at that rate, I don't see how you could be constructing something like this by graduation."

Theo's head is spinning. He didn't understand… anything in that summary except perhaps a general idea of "basic arrays". It's rare for him to feel so stupid.

Evans is still watching him, and he doesn't seem impatient for their exchange to be over, or irritated that it's taking place at all. He looks like he's waiting for Theo to reply, so Theo hurries on to keep the conversation afloat.

"So you didn't learn Runes following the Hogwarts curriculum when you were homeschooled," He surmises. "Does that mean the standards here fall short of the international schools?"

It wouldn't be the first time. Britain's educational requirements have been growing more and more lenient for years. Correspondingly, their elective options have also been reduced to four due to budget cuts and lack of interest in anything harder than petting animals and making up death predictions. Every year, more second-years choose to sign up for Care and Divination than they do Arithmancy or Runes. It's one reason why the number of incoming students has been gradually declining and consists of more muggleborns than purebloods. Foreign schools are strict about accepting any children outside of their designated countries, but those in Great Britain and Ireland who want better for their kids and can afford the higher prices tend to prefer sending them to one international school or another instead of Hogwarts.

But Evans shakes his head. "I wouldn't know that either. I didn't really follow any official curriculum when I was learning." He pauses a beat, like he's thinking about how much to reveal, or even why he's revealing anything, but then he seems to decide it doesn't much matter. "The person who taught me was a bit… unconventional about it. He was a very good teacher, but he wasn't actually a teacher with the degree and whatever else you need to be a Ministry-approved professor, so he didn't really care about following some checklist of what a student attending a magical school was supposed to learn. Plus he was kind of a genius at runes. Ward-cracking and disassembly in particular since that's what he majored in - he was a Curse-Breaker - but he was pretty good at almost everything else too, which meant he found the basic stuff pretty boring. So when he taught me, and he realized I didn't have any trouble getting the foundations down, and I could mostly keep up even when he skipped ahead to more advanced stuff, he basically ended up just jumping between the subjects he liked most, filled in any gaps along the way, and gave me free rein to research whatever I found interesting. And whatever topic I picked was the one he lectured on, or helped me look up if it was one of the few areas he didn't know much about."

His expression turns wry, if only for a moment. "Apparently though, according to Babbling, that means there's nothing left for Hogwarts to teach me. But I don't know how I would compare to students in other schools."

He finishes and falls silent. It's the most he's said since that first night, and it's clear as day that whoever this Curse-Breaker tutor was, Evans respects him a great deal, great enough to ramble on about him to a roomful of near-strangers, and considering what he'd had a hand in molding Evans into, he deserves every bit of that respect too.

Theo envies it. He is oft a creature of envy, and it hollows him out a little more every time it rears its head, but he's resigned to it. He wonders why Hogwarts can't have a teacher like Evans' instead of the whimsical mess that is Babbling, who can never get through a single class without her train of thought wandering away like an untrained dog off its leash.

"Then," Theo continues, carefully neutral, carefully watching for any signs of displeasure on Evans' face. "Once you pass your exams, will you simply have an extra study period slot? Or will you be required to attend another elective?"

Evans blinks at him. "The first, I think. I might see if it's possible to take an owl-distance university course or something, but spare time in my day isn't bad either."

"Then," Theo forges on, watching as Evans's mouth twists a little, like he knows that this is what Theo has been aiming for from the beginning. Theo can't tell if he disapproves though - he doesn't think so - and it's too late to divert his course anyway. "What do you think about tutoring?"

Evans cocks an eyebrow. He doesn't say anything for several anxiety-inducing seconds, just scrutinizing Theo with a face blank enough to rival Snape's when he bothers to stop sneering. The quill in Evans' hand taps-taps-taps against his desk before the boy swings around in his chair completely to face Theo.

"Tutoring," He repeats. "You want me to tutor you in Ancient Runes?"

And at least he doesn't sound derisive, nor does he put any particular emphasis on any part of that question. It does make it harder for Theo to gauge how he should respond though.

"Yes," He confirms, because straightforward seems to be what Evans prefers. He thinks, briefly, of including Blaise, but he doesn't actually know if Blaise would like tutoring as well, and even if he does, Blaise can ask for himself. Theo isn't that charitable, and Blaise might even take offense if he tries to be.

"I can compensate you for your time," He adds, because he's poor by pureblood standards, but not so poor that he can't afford decent education, especially with the nest egg he's been secretly building on the side since he turned eight and realized his inheritance was only going to get smaller at the rate his father was drawing from it for his… extracurriculars. His seven years at Hogwarts at least have already been paid for, robes and supplies and even some pocket money included, because even Silas Nott isn't going to let his son go into public at even more of a disadvantage than he already is. So as long as Evans doesn't ask for a huge sum of money, or even if he does, and he's willing to take part of that payment in favours, then Theo should have enough from his own funds to cover the cost.

Evans leans back in his seat and doesn't say anything about payment. Instead, he looks almost puzzled as he asks, "Why do you need tutoring though? Even if you want to learn stuff like this," He motions at his desk. "I wouldn't be able to even start teaching you how until you got at least the basics down, and that's what Hogwarts teaches, so is there any point in getting more of the same lessons from me?"

For a moment, even Theo can't come up with a way to say 'yes, because Babbling can't teach worth a damn, and I don't actually know how I passed last year but I definitely won't this year with the way her lectures keep getting lost somewhere between class and Atlantis every bloody week' but in more polite terms, if only because Evans might not appreciate anyone badmouthing her since she's obviously the one vouching for Evans' qualifications in order to let him take his exams so early.

Fortunately, Blaise has no such compunctions.

"Have you seen the way Babbling teaches?" The other boy enquires in his usual lackadaisical tone, just aggrieved enough to sound invested, but mild enough to leech the provocation out of it. It also gives Blaise a foot in through the door, drawing Evans' attention to him without making it seem as if he's interrupting.

Theo glances behind him at where Blaise is now lounging in his own desk chair, emptying his bag of textbooks and papers even as he glances over to meet Evans' gaze, and his expression has eased into an invitation to commiserate over Babbling's questionable teaching methods. All of it is designed to look casual and cordial, to keep this fragile first exchange lighthearted, if also full of a resigned sort of exasperation, funnelled together in order to lower Evans' guard.

And it seems to work too, like it does with everyone Blaise turns his charms on. At the very least, the way Evans' mouth quirks in response looks reflexive enough to be genuine.

"That's fair," Evans concedes, a wry sort of humour suffusing his voice. "She's not the best at… staying on topic."

Theo has to suppress a snort, but something of it must show on his face anyway because Evans' eyes snap back to him, and a moment later, a quicksilver grin flits across the other's face, bright in a way that lights up his whole face, and perhaps Blaise will have to try harder after all because Theo realizes that this is what genuine looks like on Evans.

"Okay, I get why you might want a tutor," Evans acknowledges. "But isn't there anyone better for that?"

Theo blinks at him. "Better than someone who's ready to take his exams in a month?"

Evans' eyebrows go up briefly, and something in his eyes sharpens. "No. Better than someone who's a halfblood orphan in Slytherin, stuck in a one-sided grudge-match with a pureblood brat who has all the maturity of a toddler and isn't going to be very happy if his friend starts hanging around the guy he wants to curse into the Hospital Wing."

Orphan? is Theo's first thought, followed by, I wish Malfoy was around to hear that. But all of it is superseded by a defiance that bursts out of him before he can curb it, "We're not friends."

Evans waves a hand. "Yeah, yeah, I know, Slytherins don't have friends. What I mean is-"

"No," Theo says, wincing internally at how he'd cut Evans off mid-sentence. "I mean, we aren't friends. Normally, we aren't even civil acquaintances most days."

Evans eyes him for a long moment like he can hear all the things Theo isn't saying. Theo's pretty sure Evans doesn't know about his family's circumstances - How would he? Why would he even care to look it up? - but he seems to be able to glean at least the gist of it in a single glance because he seems to accept it easily enough, and the next thing he says is, "Alright, but that doesn't change the fact that he's still not going to be happy about it."

"Good," Theo says, once again before he can stop himself, and with more relish than he should convey. Even if he's often thought that anything that made Malfoy unhappy was a good thing, he's certainly never expressed it out loud. He doesn't know what's come over him, only that there's something about the way Evans is watching him, patient and without judgement, that makes him… bolder than he normally would be.

And since he's already opened his mouth, he might as well keep going.

"So long as you're willing, I don't mind what other people might say," Theo says as firmly as he knows how to be. "I need to raise my grades for Ancient Runes before I take my OWLs next year or I'm never going to pass. I would appreciate any tutoring you can spare the time for." He hesitates, but only for a beat. "If you want, in addition to monetary compensation, I can also snub Malfoy at dinner somehow. And you would know it wouldn't just be some show we put on either. Malfoy doesn't have it in him to be humiliated in public, even as a stunt."

It's far more outspoken and far more audacious than Theo is accustomed to being, and he can feel Blaise's eyes on him again. But he gets the impression that if he doesn't put his cards on the table - that he really does want to learn from Evans, that it's his main motivation, even if it isn't the only one - then Evans might think Theo is playing some kind of trick on him, possibly on Malfoy's orders, and that's the last thing Theo wants him to believe.

Besides, this is also an opportunity. Theo had been resigned to living under Malfoy's temperamental rule for the duration of his Hogwarts career. It wasn't as if he wouldn't be doing more of the same as an adult, after all. Considering the difference in their social status, Theo would still have to bow his head, and jump when told to jump, and remain courteously - or at least forbearingly - deferential in front of Malfoy whenever they see each other. At least this more childish version at school is giving him plenty of practice for the future.

But now, there is Hadrian Evans, whose existence no one had expected and no one thus far can control, who isn't afraid of Malfoy, whom Malfoy is afraid of instead, and Theo honestly can't see that changing. Of course, the real world is very different from some squabbles between teenagers, and Theo has only known Evans for less than a month. But… call it instinct. Even if one day the Malfoy family can really make it so that Evans can no longer live well in Britain, Theo gets the sense that the other boy would rather up and move to a different country than ever submit to anyone.

People with inborn power like Evans won't bow. They don't know how to.

And if Theo can get even a fraction of that protection that openly siding with Evans might earn him, then the choice is obvious. He's long known that he isn't powerful enough or ambitious enough or even brave enough to stand on his own. That in order to thrive, or even to simply live a satisfactory life, it would be best to choose someone's shadow to settle in. Preferably, that someone would be willing enough to leave Theo alone most of the time and wouldn't ask too much of him, but he already knows he wouldn't be able to get that from his father or Malfoy.

Then, there's no point clinging to either of them. Before, there had been no other choices, and between his father and Malfoy, Malfoy was the better bet, though it wasn't as if the blond ponce could've gotten him out from under Silas Nott's thumb either. But at least being - loosely - affiliated with Malfoy would, in the future, offer Theo some protection from his father's obsessive tendencies. It wouldn't do for one of Malfoy's circle of acquaintances to disappear under mysterious circumstances after all.

Now there's a new player on the field. Of course, Evans probably doesn't see himself as one, and wouldn't care even if he knew. But that doesn't change the fact that his shadow casts a long and looming line, and somehow, it feels more like a refuge than anyone else's Theo has ever come across. Evans might not be willing to protect him, if only because he would have to make himself known to do so, and if there's one thing Evans has shown over the past few weeks, it's that he much prefers staying in the background. But even if he isn't willing to protect Theo, at the very least, he can teach Theo how to protect himself. So, Theo might as well take his chances with Evans, and the first step in doing that is to make it very clear to all and sundry that he's throwing his lot in with the halfblood Slytherin transfer.

He hadn't quite been prepared to go this far when he'd first decided to speak to Evans today, but doing things by half measures doesn't bode well for him either. Prevaricating or at least being vaguer about his intentions might leave him an extra hand to play, a way to retreat in case associating with Evans becomes too dangerous one day, but no one likes a fence-sitter.

In Slytherin, every decision is a power play, whether it seems like it or not. An insignificant word or action might result in large consequences that aren't always obvious until the waves and ripples have settled. And Theo's never been much of a gambler, preferring safety over potential riches. But the things he can learn from Evans are too tempting to pass over. Put in plain terms, he's technically using Evans as a means to an end, which no one in Slytherin wouldn't approve of, but for a good chunk of this House, Evans' blood would definitely outweigh any usefulness he might have, especially since he hasn't publicly proven himself in any way at all. And the way he spends all his free time with Gryffindors hardly helps.

Still, it's a risk Theo's willing to take. And now the Quaffle is in Evans' hands, and all that's left is to wait for his answer.

Of course, if Evans says no, then Theo can only hope Blaise is feeling magnanimous today and won't go spreading this little story around. Then again, there's Crabbe and Goyle too, and they'll definitely tell Malfoy, so it will get out either way.

Such is Slytherin, where the only shared secret you can trust to remain a secret is when all other parties are dead.

In front of him, Evans only raises his eyebrows for a moment before amusement quirks one corner of his mouth. "Well you don't have to go that far."

Theo can't tell if the other boy understands the implications of publicly cutting ties with Malfoy, but he's relieved to hear it anyway. He'd do it if it's a condition Evans sets, if only to alleviate any concerns Evans might have of being played, but it's not as if he wants to do it. He would happily see Malfoy humiliated any day of the week, but Theo is at heart an introverted person. Open confrontation of any kind will always make him uncomfortable.

Evans studies him for a while longer as if weighing his sincerity. Eventually, he says, "I'm not opposed to tutoring. Actually, I'm already doing that for Hermione every Wednesday and Saturday. Adding one more doesn't make much of a difference. It's just that I don't love tutoring so much that I want to do it more than twice a week. So," He smiles, and this time, his expression is one of a sharp sort of curiosity. "If you want me to tutor you, then you'll have to be okay with Hermione. And I don't just mean tolerating her presence enough to sit at the same table as her. I mean if you say one bad word about her blood, I'll take that as an attack on me and react accordingly. Understand?"

Theo blinks once, twice, digesting that ultimatum with something like disbelief because- "Is that all?" And then, because it couldn't possibly be that easy, he hastily tacks on, "How much would you like to be paid?"

Evans blinks back at him, looking like he's re-evaluating Theo on the spot. Then he makes a dismissive gesture and says, "I'm not short on money. Also I don't make Hermione pay so it wouldn't be fair if I made you pay." He sits back with a finality that starts bringing an end to their conversation. "Wednesdays and Saturdays, 4-6pm in the library. I know we share all the same classes so that shouldn't be a problem for you. Showing up isn't mandatory, you can just come whenever you want, and I'll tutor you in whatever you need help with. My only condition is that you treat Hermione with basic respect. Of course," His mouth twists into a strange smile. "That goes for her too. And her friends if they happen to stop by."

Theo has to suppress a grimace at that, but it's mostly out of reflexive distaste. Even if Weasley starts flinging insults, he's sure he's heard worse than anything a Gryffindor could come up with, and his tolerance is high, so it doesn't much matter whether Evans can prevent it or not. Actually, it's already pretty novel that he would try at all. This is by far the easiest and weirdest deal Theo has ever been offered, which only makes him that much more suspicious, but Evans also adds no other terms, so Theo is forced to conclude that this really is all Evans wants from him.

The sheer unfairness of what each party is bringing to the table is jarring. Does Evans not understand what's happening here or is he seriously willing to offer up his time and knowledge on a silver platter at basically no cost?

Part of Theo wants to ask again, to make sure Evans really doesn't want anything else, but since they've come to this point, even if Evans were to ask for something in the future, Theo would have no obligation to give it. It's admittedly somewhat uncomfortable, to receive so much in exchange for giving back so little when he wasn't even the one manipulating Evans towards this outcome, but at the same time, wouldn't he just be stupid if he keeps pushing the issue? Complaining about not having to spend any money or owe any favours seems rather counterproductive, and even though Theo is willing to pay for a chance like this, that doesn't mean he wants to if he doesn't have to. Of course, he supposes it isn't very honourable of him to not at least insist on some form of compensation, but that's why Theo isn't a Gryffindor.

So then.

"Very well, I agree to your terms," Theo says, letting himself relax a bit more when Evans' expression doesn't change. And because even a Slytherin should acknowledge genuine goodwill, he shoves past his own discomfort and manages, if a bit stiffly, "Thank you, Evans."

Evans makes a face that's something left of embarrassed. "It's just tutoring, you don't have to be so formal. Besides, you're still the one who's going to have to put up with Malfoy pitching a fit once he finds out."

Theo almost shrugs. That's not anything new. He might have to field some curses hurled his way once other Slytherins realize he's no longer under Malfoy's "protection" and is seen spending time with a halfblood, but it's not as if he has no way of protecting himself from most spells that a student can get away with using in public at Hogwarts. He already has a few family wards set up around his bed too, so Malfoy can't get to him while he's asleep, and the only time he spends in the Common Room is when he's crossing it to leave the Dungeon or return to his dorm, so his Housemates aren't likely to be able to corner him there either. So long as he's careful, he'll be fine.

Blaise's voice cuts into his thoughts, speaking this time with the lightest touch of concern seeping out from behind a thin veil of indifference that would've fooled even Theo if Theo didn't know the way Blaise can change his approach like he's changing clothes depending on his assessment of the person he's talking to. "You sure you don't need to ask Granger first before letting a Slytherin join your tutoring sessions? She might not be too happy to have Theo there. And her friends definitely won't."

Evans' attention shifts again, and as with Theo, his gaze is neither friendly nor hostile, but it's different all the same in a way Theo can't quite name. "Is that my problem?"

The room is quiet for a beat.

Evans smiles, careless, casual. "I'm the one doing the teaching. Who I teach should be up to me, shouldn't it?"

Blaise stares, unblinking, hands finally gone still. "Aren't those Gryffindors your friends though?"

"Sure," Evans agrees. "Still doesn't mean they get to tell me what to do just because they're biased against Slytherins." He shakes his head. "I doubt it'll be much of a problem though. Like you said, they're my friends, and aren't I a Slytherin too?"

Nobody says what Theo is certain they're all thinking— that in many ways, Evans isn't anything like your average Slytherin.

(And in others, Evans is the very epitome of one, but the Golden Trio probably doesn't know that, do they?)

"Are you saying other Slytherins are welcome in your tutoring sessions then?" Blaise says next, and it's the most straightforward Theo has ever seen him, skipping at least three prevarications and five backhanded compliments that Theo could've sworn Blaise would normally include just because he doesn't know any other way to speak. Apparently not.

Except Evans' response is to huff a breath that sounds like laughter, except not in any way they've heard before, not as amicable, and Theo sees Blaise's smile grow a little fixed.

If they were in the business of distributing vices, then excessive hubris would undoubtedly go to Malfoy, but only because Blaise doesn't have the same reckless self-defeating habit of flaunting what he has everywhere and retaliating like a rabid lapdog the moment he feels slighted, the latter of which is helped along by the fact that he doesn't hold many people in high enough esteem for them to offend him. After all, you wouldn't get mad if a ghost or a goblin or even a house-elf - as unlikely as that is - is rude to you, would you? At most, you'd punish the latter and move along with your day. And for those who do register enough as people in Blaise's eyes, well, Blaise far prefers retaliating when the other party least expects it.

It's the same now, in the way Blaise blinks twice rapidly but doesn't otherwise react. Of course, since this is Evans, he won't be able to retaliate later either, not with any kind of success, so it's doubly impressive that the other boy manages to keep his pride nailed down and tucked away.

"You know," Evans says lazily, mirth or perhaps mockery gleaming in his eyes. "You could just ask. Take a leaf out of Theo's book; it wastes less time."

Because even Blaise's straightforwardness needs to take a stroll or two around the block first, and apparently, Evans had caught onto that possibly since the first time Blaise had opened his mouth since this conversation began.

Blaise's lips thin, but after a moment of no doubt weighing the pros and cons, he shrugs gracefully like it doesn't sting and asks, "Then, may I join your tutoring sessions, Evans? I would also appreciate some assistance with my Ancient Runes studies. Of course, I will abide by the terms you've set as well."

Theo listens and wonders just how much self-control those three sentences took. Before today, he hadn't even known Blaise was capable of it, and the fact that he is, for this, actually says a lot more about his regard for Evans than Theo had realized even just a minute ago.

At least Evans doesn't make it harder for Blaise than that.

"Sure," The other boy acquiesces with the air of a predator sitting back on its haunches. "On your own head though."

At this, a trace of a smirk - his real one, beatific in its cruelty, instead of his regular fit-for-public one - cuts across Blaise's face for the span of a heartbeat. "No problem."

Evans levels another long look at him before shaking his head with another twist of a smile. "Okay then. We're all good now?" He looks from Blaise to Theo and even spares half a glance in Crabbe and Goyle's direction before nodding, satisfied. "Fantastic. Back to work for me."

He spins back around to face his desk, reaching for his quill, and the rest of the day passes as usual, without another word traded between them, even when they all get up for dinner. Malfoy comes back shortly before that, stalking over to his section of the dorm with the mulish single-minded intensity of someone unwilling to even acknowledge Evans' existence, although that probably won't last once he finds out what Theo and Blaise have agreed to.

Later, in private, Theo remarks to Blaise, "I didn't expect you to care so much about your Ancient Runes grades."

Blaise slants an indecipherable look at him even as a shallow smile stretches the width of his mouth. "Who wouldn't care about their grades when someone's offering to help raise them for free?"

It's a rhetorical question and answers approximately nothing, but Theo wasn't expecting anything of substance anyway.

Besides, when it comes down to it, he supposes it's not so surprising that Blaise can also see which way the wind is blowing, hard enough to tell anyone with decent enough instincts that a major shift in power is imminent.

And no one likes a fence-sitter.

-0-0-0-

Hadrian would like it to be known that he isn't quite sure how he's gotten to this point in his life.

Well, that's a lie, he sort of knows, or at least he can pinpoint all the decisions that got him from Point A to Point B, but he supposes he just wasn't expecting a couple Slytherins whom he'd always assumed - even back in his original world - were just Malfoy's lackeys in school, to commit, and commit hard. They hadn't even participated in the war on either side, as far as he was aware— Nott had died relatively early on under mysterious circumstances, and Zabini had by all accounts returned to his home country. To Hadrian, they'd been little more than faces in the background that he'd never even exchanged five words with in total before coming to this world.

But within the first week after they've asked to join his tutoring sessions, Nott and Zabini - Slytherin/Pureblood Rule Number Who-Knows-What: you can't use someone else's first name until you're invited to - make it really fucking obvious who they're… supporting? Have sided with? Because Slytherin is a nest of brewing factions and shifting alliances and political doublespeak and even a couple blood feuds, and this is precisely why Hadrian doesn't want anything to do with this House.

Except apparently, agreeing to tutor Nott and Zabini means he's… joined the power struggle? Formed his own faction? Decided to vie for in-House supremacy and possible world domination? Who knows because Hadrian sure doesn't, and he's determined not to know, because surely if he just continues doing his own thing, it'll become clear sooner or later to all and sundry that he has no interest in fighting a bunch of schoolchildren over whatever they think he wants to fight for.

It's just that he can't quite do that either, because not even three weeks after Nott and Zabini start joining him in the library every Wednesday and Saturday with a wary but accepting Hermione, something that translates to them moving their seats to sit with him in class and - when they can make it look natural, if still deliberate - walking with him in the hallways, the displeasure and animosity in Slytherin House reaches breaking point.

It's not as if Hadrian hasn't already been the target of multiple hexes and curses from his own Housemates. He's a halfblood who hangs out with Gryffindors— it's to be expected. But so far, the spells have always been in the realm of reasonable, ones that might make him trip down the stairs or rip his bag or screw up his potion, and he's been able to block or avoid them all, so he'd figured it wasn't that big a deal. He'd put the fear of a Horntail in Malfoy early on because he has to live with the berk, and he doesn't much feel like returning after a long day of classes just to have to butt heads with him every single time. But he basically has no intersections with the rest of the House, so he just hasn't bothered paying attention to any of them.

Then, perhaps rather suddenly, Nott and Zabini are there, not so much orbiting him as they do hover from afar. But they join his tutoring sessions, and they're serious about learning from him, listening earnestly and asking questions and even checking out the books he recommends they read if they have time. There are holes in even the most simple of their fundamental knowledge of Runes - Babbling, read a how-to book on teaching for Merlin's sake - so Hadrian has to more or less start from the ground up, as he had with Hermione, but both of them quickly prove themselves more than intelligent enough to keep up, and they're startling enthusiastic - by Slytherin standards - about everything he teaches them. Nott is more obvious - more ravenous - about it, but even Zabini - who likes to pretend he's only there for the novelty of it or something and therefore tends to play up a laidback sort of indifference - never fails to complete the optional exercises Hadrian writes up for them once a week.

And outside of the tutoring sessions, it's like they've decided that being tutored by him means that he's now their new Malfoy or something. Not that Malfoy was their Malfoy before, if Hadrian had understood Nott correctly, but they'd at least acted like they were part of Malfoy's groupies. Now they've done a one-eighty, and it's not as if they follow him around all the time the way Crabbe and Goyle do with Malfoy, honestly if you don't count classroom and dorm room, they're not even around him half the time, especially Zabini, but when they are around, when they move their cauldrons next to his in Potions class despite working separately, when they go down to breakfast with him despite splitting off at the entrance, when they trail behind him back to the Slytherin Dungeon after a tutoring session, they're so damn conspicuous about it that they might as well be waving neon-bright signs above their heads.

In contrast, they don't even sit next Malfoy during mealtimes anymore, much to the blond's increasing red-faced ire that vaguely resembles a Silenced teakettle on the brink of boiling over. But now they sit at the end of the Slytherin table, which Hadrian has gradually gathered that that's not a good thing, but he doesn't know how to fix it either, and neither Nott nor Zabini seems to mind.

They also talk to him now, not often, not just in private, and not just about Runes, although that does still take up the majority of their conversation topics, if only because they don't know each other that well yet. But in their dorm or in class or in the library or in the halls, sometimes, Nott would say something completely normal, like whether or not he owns an owl or if he's noticed Snape's increasingly intent attention on him or if he's found the secret passageway connecting the Dungeons to the sixth floor yet because climbing six flights of moving stairs isn't what anyone would call a good time. Zabini on the other hand prefers sharing obscure gossip that even most of Slytherin isn't aware of, sordid little secrets like whose parent has a mistress (or three) on the side that will very likely cause an inheritance problem down the road, who killed a cousin over the summer due to jealousy but has done a decent enough job of covering it up as an accident because said cousin had been the heir apparent, and even who had to go to Pomfrey for an Abortion Charm just last week but will likely have to break her betrothal contract - and consequently have her magic bound, as per the terms of said contract - in the future anyway because there's no hiding the loss of her virginity from the olde family magicks no matter how frantically she searches for a way.

To the former, Hadrian responds the way he would if Neville or Ron or Hermione were to ask him similar questions. To the latter, he says, "You have serious issues, Zabini."

Nott never smiles, but his body language is a little less closed off and his eyes look a little less hunted with every random conversation they have. Zabini is almost always smiling, and in response to Hadrian's incredulity, he only laughs like it's the grandest joke he's ever heard.

They grow on him, is the thing. One's probably abused at home, and the other is honestly half a psychopath already, and Hadrian shouldn't care but he's always had a bit of a soft spot for broken people, people who don't quite fit in no matter how well they fake it, people who remind him of himself. And the war he'd survived had only served to destroy what little compunctions he'd ever had about getting too close to dangerous things.

So they grow on him, day by day, and half a month in, the other Slytherins apparently can't handle it anymore.

Hadrian's just coming back from dinner. Nott and Zabini are with him, having joined him once he'd bid Neville, Ron, and Hermione goodnight. They're halfway across the common room when Hadrian catches movement in his peripheral, and he has half a second to decide what to do, to abort the reflex to go for his wand, to cancel the shield ward sparking at his fingertips, to pivot around on the spot and abruptly swing himself right into Nott's personal space, which means Nott immediately puts on the brakes, and - behind him - Zabini has to do the same.

Hadrian senses more than feels the curse that grazes the back of his robes and splashes against the far wall between a pair of suspiciously empty armchairs in an area that's normally a popular hangout spot. There's no sound, but out of the corner of his eye, he sees the way it oozes a sickly viscous purple that puddles to the ground and eats straight through the carpet before finally evaporating into nothing.

He doesn't turn his head, doesn't challenge anyone into a duel the way his hands are itching to do. Instead, even before the spell disappears, he's already asking, "Did you copy down the Potions assignment from today? I just remembered I forgot."

In front of him, Nott's turned three shades whiter, and he's already pale-skinned to begin with, so he obviously recognizes the spell. Zabini clearly does as well if the way he's gone gargoyle-still is anything to go by.

If they'd continued walking, that curse would've hit Nott right in the ribcage. His left ribcage.

A beat of silence passes. Then Nott takes a breath and answers in a voice that doesn't waver but is even more inflectionless than usual. "Yes, I wrote it down. I can show you."

"Cool, thanks, let's go."

Nobody else speaks, nobody even moves, as Hadrian leads the way back to their dorm.

Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle aren't back yet so they have the room to themselves. As soon as the door is shut, Nott almost slumps onto his bed, hands shaking. Zabini pulls out his chair to sit, a smile hooked at one corner of his mouth, but absolutely nothing about the rest of him says amusement.

(Slytherins don't have friends, and Zabini doesn't seem to know how to have friends, but Nott's probably the closest to one that his disposition will ever allow.)

Hadrian looks from Nott to Zabini and back, and then he asks, "Who was that boy? The one surrounded by that group by the fireplace."

The one who'd fired the spell. Don't think just because a bunch of students were arranged in front of him that Hadrian had missed the way his arm had moved, the jab of a wand, the blossom of light at its tip before the curse had flown across the room. Did they think he was blind?

Nott blinks up at him, features still pinched. It's Zabini who answers, soft as silk, "Malcolm Avery, seventh-year."

Hadrian takes a moment to digest that, to press that face into his memory before filing it away for later. He focuses on his roommates again instead and presses on, "Has this sort of thing happened before?"

Because even if they're spending time with him, Nott's an old pureblood name, isn't it? And Zabini is Zabini, and everybody's heard of his mother. Even if they're shunned a bit, jeered at a bit, even hexed a bit, any serious assaults should only be aimed at Hadrian, right?

Well, apparently not. That curse earlier had been a much Darker cousin of the Bone-Vanishing Spell, a variation on the more public-friendly Bone-Breaking Curse. If Hadrian hadn't seen it coming, if he hadn't stopped Nott in time, that thing would've not only shattered the left half of Nott's ribcage but also stabbed the resulting fragments directly into the nearest organs before dissolving into the bloodstream as a lethal poison— in this case, it would've been the heart and a lung. Nott would've been dead in under a minute, drowning in his own blood in extreme pain, and it's a tossup if even Hadrian would've been able to save him.

Zabini - unsurprisingly - shakes his head. For all that he doesn't have an old bloodline to rooted in Britain, he still has enough family clout to grant him a strong backing. And that's not counting his own means of protecting himself. Hadrian had actually gotten the feeling very early on, from the moment they'd had their first conversation, and he'd only been proven right as they'd gotten to know each other a little better— Zabini has all the best traits of a quintessential Slytherin. And thereby also all of the worst. Magic-wise, Hadrian can overpower him in a second, but that's why Zabini knows not to make an enemy of him, knows how to bend and stretch and profit while he's at it. He doesn't need anyone to protect him.

Nott on the other hand doesn't reply right away, and when he does, it's an evasive, "Spells like that would be an instant expulsion from Hogwarts, especially coming from a Slytherin, and from a seventh-year, they'd go straight to Azkaban. There are portraits all over the school. I'm not stupid enough to wander into places where there aren't any."

Hadrian aims a flat look at him. "That's not what I asked."

Nott purses his lips and stares at his lap. Hadrian waits him out.

"…They've tried cornering me," Nott finally admits, grudgingly, almost resentfully. "There's no avoiding a couple areas with no portraits. But they never used a curse this Dark before, and I've always been able to slip away."

Hadrian swallows the first three things he wants to say, to shout, because at his core, he likes to think he has a long fuse, but when someone crosses his line in the sand, his temper has always been explosive and violent, which won't help here.

Besides, hadn't he more or less told these two to handle the consequences of letting him tutor them on their own? Even if they weren't Slytherins and actually had the mind to reach out for help, they probably wouldn't have come to him after what he'd said, so he has no one to blame but himself and the fact that he'd underestimated just how deep some Slytherins' senseless hatred runs.

So he breathes through his first instinct, his second, his third, and then he pushes off the desk he'd been leaning on in favour of pulling out parchment and ink and the appropriate books.

"Alright, come here," He beckons, spreading everything out on his desk. "I'm gonna teach you a Fourfold Rebounder Ward so you can wear it on you from now on. The variation I'm thinking of has a chameleon element, so it'll be both strong enough to deflect a curse on the level of the one from earlier and also camouflage it when it's bounced back at whoever attacked you. It's based off of intent too, so it won't act up in a scuffle or a practice duel or something, the other person has to really want to harm you with deadly intent, so keep your guard up for other stuff, and honestly, this should just be for emergencies, you should still try to dodge it because it's not good to grow overly dependent on stuff like this. I'm confident the runes won't fail when I'm the one making it but your reflexes will get rusty if you get lazy. It's a bit- okay, a lot more difficult than anything you're learning right now, but I'll do most of the work, you just watch and provide the magic at the end, and once your foundation is a bit more stable and we can move ahead to more interesting things, I'll come back to this first so you'll be able to learn how to do this yourselves one day."

A long silence follows. Hadrian looks up. Neither of his roommates has moved. "What's wrong?"

Another few seconds tick by. It's Zabini who gets up first, an odd smile on his face, one that Hadrian's never seen before. But all he says is, "Nothing's wrong. I was just hoping if we waited a bit, Malfoy will get back in time to see what we're doing and finally keel over from high blood pressure."

Hadrian snorts with laughter. "Get over here. If that really happened, we'd be the ones who'd have to waste time carrying him up to the Hospital Wing."

Zabini's expression says that that wouldn't be his problem but he only smirks and saunters over to Hadrian's desk with his chair. When they both turn to look, Nott is already on his feet as well. He doesn't say anything, but he looks steadier, and he's watching Hadrian with a strange gleam in his eyes that makes them look almost feverish.

They settle down around him, eager - by Slytherin standards - to learn in a way that reminds Hadrian exactly why he likes to teach.

He gets to work, explaining each step even though he knows most of it is going over their heads. That's fine though; for now, these wards just need to protect them properly, and in the future, he'll teach them how to protect themselves.

-0-

Of course, things aren't over just like that, because Hadrian's temper is an explosive and violent beast, and the only things that's changed from when he was still a teenager is the fact that he's gotten a lot sneakier about it as an adult.

They aren't friends. But Nott and Zabini are his roommates and his students and kids that he's starting to genuinely care about, and nobody gets to walk away scot-free after fucking with the people under Hadrian's care so long as he's still alive to do something about it.

Malcolm Avery is seventeen anyway. That's an adult by any magical community's measure, which means Hadrian doesn't have to hold back.

It takes a week. A week of slipping out after curfew and eavesdropping on conversations, of finding out what the seventh-year's next practical Potions class will be working on and scanning all of Avery's belongings to see what Dark spells he's been mucking about with, and finally of filching Avery's cauldron for an afternoon while he's in class and replacing it before he returns to his dorm.

When it happens, Hadrian isn't even in school. Even if he were, it wouldn't matter because he'd made sure to time everything just right, and all the fourth-years - and most of the rest of the student body too - are already in the Great Hall waiting for lunch to be served. Seventh-year Potions is in the morning block, and Avery always goes overtime when there's a practical.

Hadrian isn't even in school, sitting his Ancient Runes exams at the Ministry all day instead, but he certainly hears all about it when he gets back that evening.

A few minutes before noon, a silver doe Patronus comes bounding up from the dungeons with an urgent summons for Pomfrey, Dumbledore, and McGonagall. Nobody hears what is said, but the three staff members rush off even as the food begins to appear, and nobody hears from them again until half an hour later when whispers start going around about Healers from St. Mungo's being called and one Malcolm Avery being carried out the front doors on a stretcher because his condition is too unstable to be transported through the Floo. The professors don't really tell them anything except that there was a Potions accident, but - as these things do because the rumour mill at Hogwarts is healthier than ever, and there'd still been a few other seventh-years in class with Avery at the time - everyone more or less knows what happened anyway by the time afternoon classes start. Potions is cancelled for the rest of the day, because no one else was injured but Snape was too busy furiously documenting what had happened after running multiple diagnostic spells over the remains of Avery's cauldron to teach. Also, he has to submit said documentation and a Pensieve memory to the Aurors investigating the accident, which doesn't exactly say great things about his mood, so nobody's unhappy about being able to give Potions a miss.

Apparently, Avery had been using his cauldron to make other potions - banned potions - in his dorm room. His roommates had been willing enough to keep mum and even give him a hand, and the book he'd been learning from had been found in his trunk. Thankfully, he hadn't managed to make anything too terrible yet, and his failed attempts hadn't managed to kill anyone, but he also hadn't cleaned his cauldron properly, and so there'd been a mess of residue potion and Dark magic clinging to the metal. Coincidentally, it had ended up reacting quite badly to the potion that the seventh-years were to work on that day, and the end result was a magnificent explosion that Snape had barely managed to protect himself and the other students from in the nick of time. There'd been no helping Avery who'd been standing right next to the unholy concoction.

In the aftermath, the explosion had caused bad enough burns to disfigure Avery, but time and Healers would fix most if not all of that. Far more serious had been the potion damage to his body— the liquid had seeped right through his skin and disintegrated the majority of his left ribcage, and then it had gone on to chew even further, straight into his heart and left lung, an insidious venom that had dissolved into his bloodstream and sent him into convulsions that had wrung scream after agonized scream out of him until Pomfrey had deemed it safe enough to knock him out, although even then, his body wouldn't stop seizing from the pain.

He'd still been alive when he'd been rushed out of the castle. Word has it that he's still alive now in St. Mungo's, except the Healers have no idea how to even begin treating him. Mixing multiple failed attempts at Dark potions, most of which even Avery's own roommates couldn't list all the names of or in which order he'd made them, together with one N.E.W.T.-level potion but in an explosion that had caused the maximum amount of entropy in the magic imbued into it— Merlin himself wouldn't be able to fix it with just a wave of his wand.

By dinnertime, everybody is talking about it, and the professors have given up trying to stop them.

(In truth, the outcome probably wouldn't have been quite so serious if Hadrian hadn't added a spell to amplify the toxicity and volatility of the residue in the cauldron, as well as several looping single-use runes to hide the volcanic buildup and also bind the whole thing to Avery alone so that it wouldn't have hurt anyone else even if Snape hadn't reacted in time. Without Hadrian's interference, it would've still exploded sooner or later, but Snape might've seen the danger signs in time to evacuate everyone from the classroom, and even if he didn't, the effects of the potion on Avery probably wouldn't have been so terrible.

But then, that wouldn't have been enough. After all, lessons like these should stick.

Avery will live, but he sure won't enjoy it.)

It's almost ten by the time Hadrian gets back to the Slytherin Dungeon. Snape drops him off at the entrance before sweeping off to his own office in a dramatic billow of irritably flapping robes. He'd been at the Ministry for half the day just to piece together what had happened for them, but as Hadrian had ensured, the Potions master had been cleared of any negligence in the matter. The potion had very obviously shown no signs of exploding - three other experts had verified - and students are expected to take care of their own cauldrons from third-year onwards without the professor having to do weekly checks. Snape had been released by dinnertime, but he'd apparently decided to simply eat in the Ministry cafeteria and return with his student and Babbling, so here they are.

Except-

Just before Snape makes to leave, he turns and pins Hadrian with a long appraising look, clinical and penetrating. Hadrian stares back serenely, and maybe the fact that his mind is a steel trap wrapped around a battlefield would be highly suspect to anyone looking in, but he also doesn't feel so much as a brush of Legilimency from Snape whatsoever. The professor really is just looking at him.

It's a strange new world.

In the end, Snape doesn't say anything before walking off, and Hadrian is left to blink after him before letting himself into the common room.

Everything goes eerily silent the moment everyone realizes he's back. Even if he hadn't said anything, someone - let's be real, it's Malfoy - had spread the news of Hadrian taking his Ancient Runes exams early, so pretty much everyone had known where he'd gone today. It was never a secret though so Hadrian hadn't cared, except when he steps into the room, it's very obvious that everybody is focused on him, and just as obvious that nobody is willing to make eye-contact with him.

The younger students should've already retired for the night. At least everybody still in the common room, studying or playing chess or chatting with each other like any standard evening, are fifth-years and up, so most of these students had probably known - or had been told after the fact - exactly what that curse would've done to Theo Nott that day, and exactly who had been the one to attack him.

And everybody knows what had happened to Avery today. More specifically, they know that what had happened to him today had been an almost perfect mirror of what he'd wanted to do to Nott one week ago. Nobody here believes in coincidences, and there's only so many people who would've had the motivation to orchestrate the entire accident down to the smallest detail.

Most of them have known Nott and Zabini for at least a few years. Perhaps they're not on speaking terms, but they'd still been Housemates for a while. Something like this isn't really Nott's style, and while it is Zabini's, neither of them has the ability.

The only real unknown is Hadrian Evans, and if they still can't put the pieces together at this point, they might as well sell their brains.

The area by the fireplace, normally always occupied by Avery's group at this time, is empty today. Avery's at St. Mungo's, his roommates are in overnight lockup at the Ministry, and any who aren't but were part of Avery's faction are probably hiding up in their rooms. Nobody else has taken their seats, not even the students who usually do when Avery hasn't claimed it for the day.

Hadrian walks towards the doorway leading to the boys' dormitory, and no one stops him. It feels like the entire room is holding their breaths. Nobody speaks. Nobody even moves until Hadrian is out of earshot.

The dorm is likewise very quiet when Hadrian enters. Malfoy's bed curtains are already drawn, as are Crabbe's and Goyle's, but Zabini's are open, and he's lazing against the headboard with a book in his hands while Nott is still at his desk doing homework.

They both look up as soon as the door swings open. Zabini stays on his bed but Nott even stands up as Hadrian shuts the door behind him. His whole frame is tense with a restless sort of energy, and he's staring at Hadrian with shining eyes. They both are, although in different ways. Zabini looks equal parts ecstatic and hungry, while Nott just looks the kind of deeply confused and deeply grateful that makes Hadrian want to set fire to someone, preferably whoever stitched this very expression into Nott's range of emotions out of the pieces they'd torn from him.

Nobody says anything right away. Hadrian squints at them as he makes his way to his own bed, feeling vaguely perturbed, because he hadn't truly expected them to not connect what happened to Avery back to him, but he hadn't thought they would be so fixated on it either. Maybe a roundabout tactful thank-you from Nott, an offer of a favour at most. But not… this, whatever this is.

He laments the fact that these two aren't more stupid when it comes to this sort of thing. Ron would be oblivious. Hermione would be determinedly oblivious. Neville… would actually react a bit like Nott, Ginny would react a lot like Zabini, Luna wouldn't react at all but she'd be extra cuddly for a few days, and gods, Hadrian needs saner friends.

Not that these two are friends of course.

He manages to get through a shower, brush his teeth, and climb into a bed before Nott is suddenly at his side, eyes still shining with something Hadrian really doesn't want to put a name to. Thankfully, he doesn't burst into any heartfelt speeches that would probably embarrass everyone within hearing range. Not so thankfully, he honest-to-fucking-Merlin bows, all archaic and meaningful in every way Hadrian has never learned and so doesn't understand, but even he can sense the weight and deference behind every word as Nott murmurs, "All of mine is yours, until the end of days. I would be honoured if you would call me Theo."

"Jesus fucking Christ," Hadrian mutters, because sometimes wizarding swears just don't have enough oomph to encompass the never-ending circus trainwreck that is his life. He scrubs a hand over his face, peeks at Nott - at Theo - who's still halfway bent over, and of course, it's just his luck that he has no idea how to respond in the proper pureblood way.

He would've preferred the heartfelt speech.

"I'm a halfblood, I don't know how to respond appropriately," He says bluntly because he doesn't know what else to do. But he also flicks a Silencing Ward at Malfoy's bed, then at Crabbe's and Goyle's as well because you can never be too careful, and then he leans over and hauls Theo upright and catches his gaze and holds it, "I'll call you Theo if you call me Hadrian. One day, you'll be strong enough to take care of your enemies on your own, and you won't need anyone else to do it for you if you don't want them to, but until then, if all of you is mine, then your enemies are too, so I'll deal with them if it turns out that they still haven't learned after today. That makes us allies from now on though, which means we're equals, and that means you never, ever bow to anyone again. Not me, and not anybody else either. Understand?"

Theo stares again, wide-eyed and lost and so terribly young, and sometimes, Hadrian wonders what it says about just how messed up the world is when broken kids can be bought so easily.

Finally, almost dazedly, Theo gives some semblance of a nod.

"Hadrian," He says, and something about him straightens, grows steel, settles.

"Hadrian," He repeats and dips his head, not a bow, but respectful all the same, and his eyes are still bright with that unnamed creature, but at least he looks at Hadrian head-on. "Thank you. Goodnight."

Hadrian sighs and figures that this is about the best he's going to get tonight. Maybe it'll dial back to normal in a few days. "Goodnight, Theo."

Theo smiles, tiny, crooked, a little awkward. It's the first one Hadrian has ever seen from him, and that at least he can't be upset about.

They can finally go to sleep though. Theo returns to his own bed, Zabini is still watching them both from his bed like they're his new favourite show, and Hadrian resolutely pretends he doesn't see anything else as he takes down the Silencing Wards before drawing his curtains, rolling over, and promptly making a sincere attempt at smothering himself with a pillow.

His life.

-0-0-0-

End Notes: Ok wow so this got hella long and I didn't really get to all the stuff anon wanted whoops. Theo just… wouldn't stop thinking lmao, and also this AU has the potential to get so big so I ended up cramming in worldbuilding wherever I could. So unfortunately all you get is sort of a starting snapshot of where this is going and how Hadrian is going to turn out and a shitload of Theo's character. I kind of wanted to do him and Blaise's POV but I could only fit Theo, and I feel like getting Blaise through Theo's POV actually added to his character just as much as a personal POV would've. Anyway, those two are basically blank slates in canon so ofc I would pick them to write lolol.

#headcanon meme: answered #HP series #c'est la vie #hadrian evans #theo nott #blaise zabini #draco malfoy #headcanon #slytherin hadrian au

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russellsppttemplates · 5 months

Text

From the start, it was you (George Russell)

The heart doesn't seem to choose by team colours

Note: english is not my first language. This is the first driver!reader I've ever written, so I hope I've done a good job. Also, I did not plan to post this piece specifically now, but seems fitting with the whole shitshow that has been going on the past couple of days. Also, this is a plot I've seen written a lot, so I know there are many other pieces that are way better, and hopefully my take on it isn't too bad!

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: race collision, medical exams, curse words, gender inequality comments

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

Your purple race suit made you stand out amongst all of the other kids as you walked back from the podium, proudly smiling at your trophy, "Y/N! We're here!", you heard your father as he waved so you'd know where they stood, "congratulations, darling! That was an impressive overtake you did there in the last lap!", he praised, scratching your head before placing a kiss there, "I was trying to get first, but I couldn't get it", you admitted it, looking sideways at the boy who you couldn't take the first place from.

George Russell was a tall boy, same age as you, so you often raced against eachother. While you had become friends with some of the other kids, Russell wasn't one of them. It began when you tried to congratulate him for his P3 a few years ago, stretching your hand out politely, a smile on your face as he turned his back to you, mumbling something as he walked towards his parents. So, you weren't the best of friends if anyone asked.

"Y/N, darling, go stand next to the boys so I can take a picture of you! It will be such a good memory for when you're older!", your mother said excitedly, making you, George and the boy that finished his race behind you on each of your sides, smiling at the camera and hoping it would be as quick as possible, not wanting to stand next to him for a second longer than you should.

"I have your media day schedules here", Mary said as she handed you and Oscar your respective schedules, "Y/N, you're going to get interviewed with Charles, Yuki, George and Fernando", she stated as she then moved on to Oscar, explaing a few things to him since he was going first.

"And Y/N, while you're in there, try not to kill George, even with your eyes, okay?", she advised, tapping your shoulder softly as you looked at her sideways, "last time you were both in the same panel, you managed to be out of qualifying", she nodded, "only because our car wasn't that reliable, and we all know how theirs is", you pointed out, smiling sweetly and hoping to get on her side, "you're lucky you don't annoy me too much, Y/N", she smiled back.

The team had made many improvements to the car, granting you and Oscar the possibility to aim for higher places on the grid, and since you were a nerd about all things engineering, too, you loved when you were asked about the topic. But lately, the questions about the car seemed to get asked to your teammate Oscar, leaving the excuse that "the journalists already have the information they need", and because they didn't want to be accused of not asking you questions like it had happened before, it seemed to divert to other topics.

"Y/N, here", one of the journalists waved, grabbing your attention, "With the recent events and new propositions from the F1 Academy, do you think the sport is going to suffer from having a bigger opportunity that's being given to women in motorsport?", your heard him say, making your blood boil.

Despite the constant raised awareness for gender discrimination and discrimination in motorsport, especially in the last couple of years, some people still had it pretty engraved in their system, and while sometimes it came out looking a little bit more subtle, this one didn't even bother to soften the edges.

You'd be lying if you said this was the first time you heard these comments directed at you, or that you thought it would be the last, no matter how much you wished some sort of disciplinary measure was taken, "I woul-", you began before you heard a loud clash on the floor and felt water on your legs. The trousers you were wearing were soaked around your thighs and knees as George got up to grab the bottle that belonged to him, "I'm so sorry, Y/N", he apoligised as he put the lid back on, "I think it's best if we call it a day, hm? The next group needs to have this cleaned before they come in here", the Mercedes driver said as everyone seemed to agree and get up, bidding goodbye as Charles and George stayed until the end.

"Careful, don't slip", the monegasque driver said, making sure you wouldn't fall and walking out of the room with you, "figures the guy wouldn't even be here to check if everything's fine", you muttered as Charles chuckled, "you two really are like the cat and the mouse".

"He's not even here! He just flew off to his fancy room to delight in the joy of making fun of me", you grumbled, bidding goodbye to Charles as you found yourself by the entrance of Ferrari.

Walking the distance to meet your team, Mary was the first to get you, "I'm sorry they asked that", she said, "it's a good thing Russell spilled his drink", she teased, knowing you wouldn't want to dwell on the comments for long. It hardly solved the problem and you'd look into it in the team meeting when the time called for it, "promise you won't take him out in the race?".

Laughingly at her assumption and the fact that she had managed to pull you out of your misery as you walked to you driver's room, "don't worry, and tell the guys downstairs to now worry either, they're not going to have to build me a new car either", you flashed a smile before closing the door, changing into another pair of trousers you had brought with you.

"You're starting P4, Y/N", your race engineer said over the radio, "we are going to give it our all to support you and help you".

"And I'm going to drive the beat I can for you guys. Today, we get orange flying around and its going to be because of the Papaya team", you smiled under your helmet, "Oscar is P6, so I think we can even aim for a Podium, depends on how things go", you said.

As soon as the lights went out, you reacted quickly and passed the car that had been sitting next to yours, your race engineer confirming your third place and giving you a run down of all the grid changes.

"Do us proud, you're doing well, good pace", you heard on your speakers. You were enjoying the drive, analysing the data without team and looking for the right opportunity to overtake Charles, "go after the next turn, Y/N. Charles' tyres are not looking so good, so we think you have the upper hand there. George's car seems to be having some issues, too, he won't go after you", the pit wall channeled in your radio.

You looked in your mirrors as you were about to make the overtake, having patiently waited to reach the specific turn and going with it, confident that you would be able to overtake the red car.

A fraction of a second, you would always say, was game changing in Formula One. A decision to overtake or stay back, to accept the call to the pits or a new strategy, sometimes all it took was less than a second. And it also took less than a second for your car to start spinning, making you remove your hands from your steering wheel and brace yourself for the collision that would soon enough happen.

The impact wasn't as hard as you had expected, having felt most of it in your hips and shoulders. Groaning, you opened your eyes to see the damage, hearing "Y/N, can you tell us if you are okay?" over the radio.

Pressing the button, you heard the equipment's buzz, "I'm okay. I'm sorry about the car, guys", you gulped, adjusting yourself, "another car tapped me, right? Are they okay?", you asked, "George's fine from what we've heard".

After the marshalls confirmed you were free to go with the medical car to get checked over, you were back in the hospitality as the race continued, "doctor said I'll have some bruises, nothing too bad though", you gave them the report as you apoligised and thanked everyone on your side of the garage.

"Turns out they'll have to build you a new car after all", Mary offered as she hugged you, "if Russell had been more careful, this could've ended differently", you groaned.

"From what I've heard, he was trying a risky move and the car had an issue and locked up. He lost control of it and his front wing tapped your rear wheels just about enough to cause the crash", she explained, "it's not like he purposefully wanted to take you out", she reasoned.

"I know, it's just not ideal", you sighed, "we could both be in there". On the screen, Oscar was sitting P2, having successfully overtaken Charles a few laps in after the race resumed.

Even though George was far from your friend, you still wanted to check if he was okay, specially after seeing the impact the crash had on his car, too.

Walking to the Mercedes hospitality, a few people stopped you on your tracks briefly to express their relief on seeing you up and about and wishing you well before you found yourself by the glass doors.

"Is George here? I'd like to see if he's doing alright, but only if that's okay, I'm sure you're busy", you asked one of the media girls, Holly, recognising her from previous encounters.

"He's in his driver's room, yes, let me walk you there", she smiled, walking with you and knocking on the door, "George, may I come in?", she asked before he gave a positive answer, "Y/N is here, she wanted to talk to you", she stated, backing up so you could be seen, "yes, that's alright", the tall man said as Holly held out her arm, gesturing you to walk inside the room as she closed the door behind her, most likely going back to work on the race content.

"Hey", you waved awkwardly, "I don't have any other way to contact you, and asking your team how you were didn't seem... right? So, yeah, I came here", you gulped, suddenly feeling a weird pressure to act properly, whatever that meant.

"I'm good, barely got a scratch since I was able to stop the car before it hit the barriers", George explained, "and you? It looked pretty bad", he checked.

"I have some bruises, I think the adrenaline is slowing down now, so it's a bit painful, but nothing major", you clarified.

"The car had some issue and there was not way to control it, I just let it go because there wasn't anything I could do. I'm very glad you're okay", he half smiled as he looked at you.

In all the years you've known him and interacted with him, there had never been a time where he was this relaxed and smiley around you, not even when he had overtaken you in the last lap of the race. And while it was new, it was also comfortable.

"Me too, it looked scarier than it felt, though", you offered as he grabbed his water bottle to take a sip from it, "Oh, close the lid properly on that one", you chuckled playfully, not imagining the backlash and reaction it would have.

The new and comfortable mood turned back to the old and expecting one.

"Do you really think I'm that clumsy to drop a bottle like that? I wanted to get us out of there, to get you out of there because they were asking sexist questions", he stated, "and I didn't do it because I thought you couldn't defend yourself, because you sure know how to stop your foot and put it down, but because they don't deserve your time like that. Hell, I wish you spent that little time with me instead!", George yelled out, not missing your shocked expression, "maybe there was a time that I didn't like how you just showed up and got things done, but in the end, it's not because it's you, or because you're a woman. I wanted to be the one to show up and get things done, because I admire you so much", he gulped.

"So you're saying it's my fault that I've been labelled a bad sport because we constantly fight out there? That's why you've hated me?", your defensive side turned up, not dwelling on his kind words.

"I'm not saying it is either of our fault! I'm just trying to explain to you that I don't hate you like you think I do", he put his hands on his hips, walking around his room, "you might hate me, and that's fine, you know? I'm not going to be the one to tell you how you should feel, that's not how it works, but I have never hate you.

"I might've said I hated you when we were little, but that's because you probably stole my place on the podium, and even that was probably well deserved. I never thought I'd feel like this about you", he concluded.

"And what is it that you feel about me? Because I would like a warning should you want to beat me up to deal with all it is that you're feeling...?", you gestured to his stance. Was he saying he didn't hate you? Did he have other feelings that were actually in the happiness section of the emotion wheel and not near the anger section?

Chuckling, he approached you, "I have had feelings for you since we started driving in F2. At first I thought it was just the thrill of the competition and of having someone to challenge me, and when you got the Mclaren seat, I was so happy that you'd be racing against me", he further offered, "I don't know when it came out that we hated eachother, and when you didn't seem to feel otherwise, I tried to hate you, or at least dislike you, and it wasn't working, so I just let it go however it went, and it's led me here. And I'm being honest with you, so laugh all you want, or deal with it however you want to", he raised his hands as he excused himself.

"George, I nerve said anything because I can't afford to say those things. How many rivalries have you seen in motorsport? So many, and many more that are not written in books and shown off in videos. And none of them have apoligies to offer, or rather, the very few that have done it, turned out okay. But if I was the one to talk about it? A female driver talking about how she cares that her colleagues and her have a good relation and that they don't hate eachother like the press wants people to believe?", you scoffed, "That's not on my books, that's not something I can consider.

"And I don't hate you, George. For Goodness' sake, I came here to see of you were alright. Any other person would've yelled that you ruined their race, but I understand that there are things we can't control and shit like this happens. It sucks, but that's how it is. Like Charles says all the time, 'sometimes it's like this'", you giggled, "I actually think you're a pretty decent guy", you blushed.

Over the years, the bickering had only spurred you on even more, and maybe it wasn't just the thrill of seeing him so on edge that made you continue to do so.

"So you're saying you've never hated me?",

George said as he offered you his chair to sit down as he prepared tea for both of you, "Maybe I didn't like you so much when we did karting, but that was just because you were really tall and actually gave me fair competition", you winked.

#george russell imagine #george russell x reader #george russell fluff #george russell fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic

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vibratingskull · 1 month

Note

Hello!!!! Hopefully this witn come off as annoying (idk when you posted the tranw stranded fic btw because Tumblr won't show me-)

But- I beg you, if it's okey, could you please write part 3 of what happens after they're rescued 😭😭??? You don't have to if you don't want to! But my heart it just- AHHHH

😭😭😭

I love it, I screamed, 😭😭

Idk how to end this 😭

It is not annoying at all dear anon, it is in fact flattering that you liked this silly story to desire it to continue! 🤗🤗🤗

Part 1 - Part 2

ThrawnxF!reader

Tags : Angst/hurt, abandonment, medical examination, semi-descriptive birth

“Your blood pressure is good and the blood test came back correct.” The droid says, praising you with its weird chanting voice.

The droid takes the blood pressure monitor off your arm as you remain silent, eyes focused on the ceiling.

“We will do an ultrasound.” The medic comes to you, their datapad in hand.

Another medical examination…

Since you all embarked on Thrawn’s ISD, the Chimaera, Thrawn's first order of business was putting you and Thaishi in the medical bay, subjecting you to numerous medical examinations.

Clearly he didn’t trust in the Frog people medicine a lot, and now that you had access to modern medicine again he immediately forced you two to run a battery of tests. Blood tests, shots, weighting, fetal heart rates, glucose tests, ultrasounds, scanners... The whole nine yards.

Thaishi was absolutely terrified. She never saw any droids, never saw the white blouses of the medics, never got any shots, never saw all of this machinery beeping all around and she was thrown in this white sterile room suddenly, getting stripped down to have nodes of a cardiac monitor on her little chest, getting manipulated all around to get her vitals checked. You would have run to her to console her if you weren’t plugged in to so many monitors yourself! But Thrawn stepped in, entering the bay after his long shift he immediately got to embrace and comfort her, hugging her on his laps when she gots her shots. The little sweetheart never saw a medical needle before, even less have it piercing her skin. She cried and whined with big tears on her cheeks, begging her father to not let the droids or the weird humans touch her.

Thrawn cradled her, soothed her patiently with his deep melodious voice, singing her a Cheuhn lullaby to dry her tears and took care to explain to her in detail every medical procedure that was happening for her to understand and calm down. He remained with her during the end of her examination, holding her little hand or keeping her on his lap.

Unfamiliar with Chiss vitals, the medics compiled every data and asked Thrawn’s opinion on the results, making sure Thaishi was healthy and wasn’t at risk with the new germs her organism never encountered before.

The results were very comforting, she was strong and healthy, only a very mild-case of flu resulting from the encounter of the human germs, but her antibodies were already at work. The shots would do the rest.

So tired from having screamed and cried so much, Thaishi fell asleep in Thrawn’s arms, hugging him tightly, so he came to you with her in his arms, caressing her back tenderly. You were still examined, laying on the sterile bed. He took and squeezed your hand, sitting down next to you, listening to your own results.

The baby seemed healthy, they grew very well, maybe just a heartbeat a little weaker than the norm, but nothing alarming said the medic. After listing everything up, the medic put on their most magnificent brown noser smile and asked.

“So, do you want to know the gender?”

You looked into Thrawn’s eyes and shrugged. He nodded, understanding.

“We will keep the surprise.” He announced.

“Oh… Okay…” The medic responded, disappointed to not be the one bringing good news to their Grand Admiral.

Once an Empire’s dog, always an Empire’s dog…

“ Lady (Y/n) needs peace and quiet.” The chief medic said, looking darkly at his intern to keep them moving.

Thrawn nodded again, careful of your and your baby’s health. He remained with you for half an hour, squeezing your hand, caressing your forehead, kissing your cheek and speaking sweet nothing to you.

But you didn’t let yourself get charmed.

You knew very well where that attitude came from.

Soon…

Soon they will come to take your children away and Thrawn will let you go, leaving you to go back to the Rebellion and resume war between you two.

And your family will definitely disappear, torn apart across the universe.

You looked straight into his carmine eyes, with a harsh gaze, trying to convey your strong will.

You still haven't forgiven him.

He only looked at you back with even more tenderness and his caress became even more softer, his thumb caressing your cheek tenderly.

“Do not look at me like that.” He invited softly, “You stab my heart.”

“You know very well what you did!” You retorted lowly but harshly to not wake up Thaishi.

“I know Ch’acah. But I needed to come back.”

You only frowned and remained silent, too tired to start an argument.

“The medics told me the baby was healthy.” He continues with his soft melodious voice, “You take such good care of them, thank you.”

“The village’s healer helped a lot.” You recalled him.

“We have true medicine now. My team will take over, do not worry about anything.”

“I was not worried back at the village!” You retorted. “Everything went well for Thaishi!”

“Here nothing will escape us.” He closed the matter. “Sleep, Ch’acah. Build up your strength, the term is close.”

He kissed your forehead a final time before going back to his shift, not before dropping Thaishi in her new bedroom for the night.

How many hours did he already spend on the Bridge? No matter because he was ready to go back on duty immediately.

You spend the evening alone, eating alone at the grand table of the Grand Admiral suite. The plates were rich and expensive, worthy of Thrawn’s standing, but it had no taste for you. You got to bed early, only to turn and turn in the bed, never finding sleep. You pretended to be deeply asleep 5 hours later when Thrawn slid silently in the bedroom, sneaking under the covers to hug you tight like he used to…

And days let place to weeks, traveling through space towards the Empire’s territory. Closer and closer to the end of your life… Thrawn buries himself in his work, sparing little moments for you and your daughter, while you spend all your time with the Frog people like those four years of bliss, when your family was whole. You did not waste any time to be an annoyance to the Imperials, making their days difficult, loudly advocating for the community’s rights on the ship, negotiating more spaces on the Chimaera, more time in the enlisted mess hall, freedom to come and go anywhere you please on the ISD, so on and so forth… Even if you have to recognize, the treatment of the community was royal in contrast to what you feared.

But apparently welcoming and taking care of a Grand Admiral for four years gives some rights on his ISD. You’re not delusional, you know that if they were any other alien community they would have traveled in cells. But Thrawn would have never accepted his hosts to be treated like animals… So overall the Frog people have nothing to complain about, really.

That doesn’t prevent you from fighting for more to stick it up to those imperials.

And to their horror, you being Thrawn’s wife give your words weight and power here. A thing that seems to piss off Commodore Faro immensely.

She knows she is walking a thin line with you, you may be a civilian but you are her Grand Admiral wife, she knows that if she says no too much you will go straight to Thrawn. So she does her best to mediate any situations to the best of her abilities.

It’s a shame she is an Imperial, she could do so much good in the Rebellion with her talents! But you know recruiting your husband’s officers will be a big no no! So you let her be.

Until you have another complaint to scream everywhere in the Chimaera!

So you actually rarely let her be.

To her utmost annoyance.

“The baby is fine.” The medic calls you back to reality.

You blink, turning your head to the screen to observe your baby. You see them agitating themself inside your belly, giving little kicks and punches around.

“Do you want to listen to their heartbeat?” They ask.

You nod, putting on the headphones to listen to the little drum, beating rhythmically and you refrain from a sob.

What a wonderful sound…

The most wonderful music you ever heard with Thaishi’s laugh. You caress your tummy with your eyes glued to the screen to observe your sweetheart. The heartbeat is indeed weak, but you can feel it beat through your veins!

Your baby is determined to come into the world and meet you.

You know it!

“Can I get an ultrasound image?” You ask, trying to keep your voice stable.

“I will send it immediately to the Grand Admiral.” The medic accepts.

You greet your teeth. You wanted the image for yourself, and share it with Thrawn later down the day. But they all tend to bypass you, only taking Thrawn’s desire and orders into account despite your pleas. ‘Are you sure the Grand Admiral would want this?’,’Grand Admiral Thrawn would never accept that!’, ‘I will ask Grand Admiral Thrawn’s opinion.’ and so on and so forth…

To them you may be their Grand Admiral wife but you’re also a lowly rebel and they have no qualms letting you know.

“We didn’t detect anything abnormal.” The medic announces, “You simply have a light iron deficiency. A slight change in your diet should mend your vertigo, no need to worry.”

“I am not worried.” You clap back, “Thrawn pushes me to come to the med bay at any signs of light weakness.”

“The Grand Admiral” He corrects, “... Simply wants to be sure his baby is healthy.”

You don’t like the emphasis on ‘his’.

“Well I know Our baby well, I knew nothing was wrong.” You retort.

You look black in each other's eyes in silence.

Now you’re both pissed off.

“The images.” You order.

They sigh and shake their head.

“Right away…”

------------------------------------------

You stir your food with your fork.

This isn’t really good.

You lay down your fork and slouch on your seat, observing the mess hall reserved to the enlisted and ensign. There aren't a lot of people at this hour which is both a blessing and a curse. With so few people there are not many people to shoot you down with their gaze but you also cannot feel the lively and busy activity of a community, which is why you came here in the first place.

The frog people are not here anymore.

They have been disembarked on a planet of their choosing. You lost friends when Thaishi lost everything she ever knew. She hugged Lei really hard, refusing to let her go, her mother and you had to separate them. They both cried, refusing to say goodbye to their bestfriend. The Chiefs saluted you and Thrawn, thankful for letting them pursue their goal and having the opportunity to fly freely in the universe once again after a millenia. They shared a respectful handshake with Thrawn and pulled you into a hug, congratulating you again for Thaishi and the baby, promising to keep you in their hearts.

You would lie if you said you didn’t shed a tear as you saw them disappear on the planet surface, getting smaller and smaller as the Chimaera was flying away in space. Thaishi cried her eyes out and you had all the pain in the world to calm her down, hugging and cradling her.

You felt how the tension in the Chimaera’s crew suddenly lifted like a fog disappearing.

Finally the weird alien community wasn't here to soil their precious Imperial ISD anymore!

You used to eat with them at noon in the enlisted mess hall, and now you’re all alone.

Without any friends and community on a ship with a crew that hates you, a busy husband and a dependant 4 year old child.

Busy… To not say outright absent.

Since you came inside the ISD Thrawn is consistently on the Bridge for long, long shifts. You only see him at noon one day out of 5 and feel him enter the bed past 3 or 4 a.m to rise back at 6 or 7 am. You're not dumb, you know he buries himself in his work to not face the fact that his family will soon not be anymore.

It was his idea to send your children to the Ascendancy, and while he knows it in his heart to be the best solution it doesn’t alleviate the pain for all that.

So he works.

And works.

To the point that you feel like a single mother.

You sigh, massaging your temples when Karyn Faro appears in the mess hall, pissed off, holding Thaishi, in tears, by the hand.

“Lady (Y/n)!” She shouts, for everyone to hear.

“Thaishi!” You raise on your foot, “What happened, sweetheart? I thought you were sleeping already.”

Faro lets your daughter go and she sprints into your arms, burying her head in the crook of your neck.

“Your daughter entered the bridge!” Faro lets you know harshly, “This is not the place for a child!”

“I just wanted to see daaaaaaaaad…” Her little voice breaks down in terrible sobs. “I miss him!”

You hug her tight and caress her back soothingly.

“I hope it won’t happen again.” Faro bites.

“Or what?” You clap back, “What will you do? Throw her in a cell? She is 4 and the daughter of your Grand Admiral!”

She frowns harder and her nostrils flare and for a second you expect her to explode and scream her rage in your face and for everyone present to witness.

But she inhales and recovers her calm, speaking with a deadly cold voice.

“The Grand Admiral himself is asking you to make sure this incident does not happen ever again.”

She lets that sink in and you take the stab in your heart.

You look into each other’s eyes, angry and gauging the other down.

“I will speak with him about that.” You let her know.

“Dot that. In the meantime, keep an eye on your daughter, she could hurt herself roaming around the Chimaera like that. So many corners are treacherous…”

“Are you threatening my child?” You demand, ready to claw her throat, not believing what you’re hearing.

“I simply do not want to discover your precious child bleeding out in the machine's room.” She simply responds with a false smile.

She stands to attention and leaves you in the middle of the mess hall with your child in a mess.

You sigh. What a bitch.

You carry your daughter the best you can with your heavy pregnant belly to lay her down in her bed. She stopped crying but sniffs and sighs, her red eyes still wet with tears.

“I don’t like it here, mom…”

“What are you saying? You have a large bedroom just for you, you always complained you wanted your own space back at the village!” You try to make her see the good sides of the situation.

There aren't many, you admit…

Thrawn placed her in the bedroom next to the Grand Admiral suite, and you know in your heart he meant well. Thaishi complained so much to not have a bedroom for herself he thought she would be happy like that. And back where Lei and the other kids were here she could accommodate herself seeing her father less, but now she feels truly alone.

She sniffs loudly as you tuck her in her large, maybe too large bed, holding on to the covers.

“I miss Lei and everyone! Can’t we go back and take them back?” She pleads.

“No sweety.” You try to soothe her, “They resumed their nomad life. We do not know where they are now and we ourselves are heading towards our new home.”

“I liked the village!” She complains, “I don’t understand why we have to live on a ship!”

You caress a strand of hair out of her face tenderly.

“I know sweetheart. But you’ll see, you will meet a lot of children there, you’ll make a lot of new friends, go to school with a lot of kids, start a new life. Isn't it exciting?”

“Nooooooo…” She whines. “I liked how it was… And I don’t see dad anymore!”

“Didn’t you see him on the bridge?” You ask.

“I was immediately stopped by the adults.” She explains, “I called for dad but he didn’t even turn to me.” And she broke down crying again.

You lay next to her and hug your child tight, letting her wet your shirt with tears.

“Mum, I want to go home…” She cries,” Everyone is so mean here…”

You kiss the top of her head tenderly, pressing her against your chest, against your beating heart.

You didn’t tell her.

You couldn’t bring yourself to tell her that soon, once her sibling is born in less than three months, she will be sent away with them in the Ascendancy.

Never to see you or Thrawn again…

You start crying with her and you hug each other.

Mother and child alone in a cold bedroom on an hostile imperial ISD, with the sole ending to be separated forever…

You end up sleeping with Thaishi in her bed, holding her tight in your arms. You don’t feel how someone comes inside the room to pull the covers back over Thaishi, kissing her cheek tenderly and lifting you up to carry you.

You wake up at the sensation of being cradled softly, only to meet white and a military plaque. You raise your head to see Thrawn, carrying you bridal style to your bedroom.

“Sleep, my sweet.” He softly orders, “You need to gather strength for the birth.”

“No.” You immediately step your food down, “No. We need to talk.”

He lowers his carmine gaze to you, but remains silent.

He enters the suite and heads towards the bedroom, only letting you go to lay you down your shared bed. As he rises back to go away you seize his arm immediately to force him to stay.

“No. You will not escape this conversation.” You warn.

He looks at your resolute gaze and sighs, sitting down on the edge of the bed, fixing the wall. You both remain silent for a moment, not knowing how to start. You get a quick glance to the alarm clock, informing you it was 4 am already.

“Thrawn…” You sigh.

“I know.” He simply says, “Believe me, I know.”

“You didn’t even turn to her?” You ask, flabbergasted. “She just wanted to see her dad.”

“I know, Ch’acah.” He admits, lowering his head lightly, “But I walk a thin line. I cannot let the most minuscule slip off happen.”

“She cried for two hours for Maker’s sake!” You start to feel ire raising in your blood.

“If I let them see anything, you three could get hurt.” He explains, “I am held at gunpoint, if I show any weakness towards any of you two they will devour us all. Thaishi and the baby included.”

“Another reason to defect.” You remark coldly.

“We already had this discussion, Ch’acah.” He patiently says.

“I know…”

But that doesn’t mean you accepted the situation for all that! You can only see the good he could do if he joined the Rebellion, all the lives he could save and improve…

“I need the Empire’s resources.” He continues almost to himself, “Even if I have to make the sacrifice of myself.”

“Right now you are sacrificing your daughter. We barely saw you last month, you stopped eating with us, you come back to the bedroom when everyone is sleeping and rise back earlier than everyone else. I feel so… We both feel abandoned.”

He lowers his head to fix his hands with intertwined fingers. He murmurs something so low you cannot hear it.

“What did you say?”

“I cannot face you both.” He repeats.

You look at the back of his head, how hunched over he is, how… fragile he seems at this very moment.

“The pain is too great.” He lets out in a breath, “Seeing you reminds me of what I will have to leave behind. Work helps me to forget, to not suffer for a few hours…”

“Is that why you take so many shifts? To avoid us?” You ask with a nicer tone.

“Yes.” He admits, raising his back straight, “I am a coward… It was my idea.”

“You’re not a coward.” You say softly, “But you are making a mistake, do not drive your daughter away from you. Thaishi needs her father to guide her, to love her.” You take his shoulder and squeeze it, “Please, do not turn your back on us…Thrawn, we need you as much as the Ascendancy needs you. Why can’t you see it?”

Thrawn turns to you to meet your gaze. You see so many emotions flashing in his carmine gaze despite his aloof expression.

“Do not reject us…” You beg.

He takes both of your hands to kiss your knuckles tenderly, reveling in your presence.

“I am sorry.” He finally says, “I indeed made a mistake. I put myself before the needs of Thaishi and the baby.”

“Stay with us tomorrow morning.” You propose, “Faro is competent enough for you to take half a day for yourself…” You squeeze his hands.

“Will you forgive me?” He asks, pleading with his eyes rather than his tone.

“Will you spare more time for Thaishi?” You ask.

“Yes. I will also accompany you to each of your medical appointments. I will spare you more time.”

You put your forehead against his, breathing deeply.

“Thank you…” You sigh.

His hand comes caressing your cheek delicately, tilting your head to capture your lips in an infinitely tender kiss. One since a long time ago…

He kisses you lightly, like you could break at any moment and you respond, relieved to have your husband back.

At least for the three last months…

He leans forward to kiss your pregnant belly reverently, caressing it with his large palms, murmuring sweet nothing to your unborn baby.

“Hello you, I am back, sweet thing.”

You cannot help but smile, caressing his hair as he talks to your baby for long minutes. He finally rises to kiss you chastly.

“Sleep, cheo vir. It is terribly late.”

“Will you stay?” You demand, worried.

“Yes. I will.” He promises.

You nod lightly, satisfied for the moment. Thrawn helps you out to put on your pajamas, take off your shoes, gently massaging your sore foot. You sneak under the covers as Thrawn leaves the suite, promising to come back immediately.

He actually comes back with Thaishi, sleeping soundly in his arms and he lays her down next to you, kissing her forehead. You caress the tummy of your daughter as Thrawn takes his shower and comes into bed, Thaishi between you both.

He takes her delicately in his large arms and hugs her tight, a hug that she gives back eagerly despite being asleep. You stay awake a little more to admire this wonderful scene, father and daughter, hugging each other at last…

When morning comes you are relieved and pleased to see Thrawn sitting in bed, caressing Thaishi’s back softly as she sleeps still. You extend your arm and caress his cheek with your knuckles and he turns his head to you, a light smile coming to grace his lips as he sees you, eyes pouring love for you.

“Good morning, Ch’acah.”

“Hi you…” You smile back.

This moment is peaceful and tender, your whole family reunited.

But you both know.

It cannot last…

--------------------------------------------------

You groan, holding the low of your back. Your spine is crushed and your baby is kicking and punching relentlessly, preventing you from sleeping correctly for the last two weeks.

Your term is not now, you still have two months to wait so your child just decided to get feisty with you. You remember how stressed you were with Thaishi, she kicked so little you started to fear she died in your womb. What a relief you felt when you heard her first scream.

Your baby may have a weaker heart but they appear determined to fight to live, and right now they’re fighting you.

You rise from your bed, in pain, feeling like you are about to wet yourself with how squeezed your bladder is. You walk slowly with very little step when you receive a formidable kick in the stomach.

“Ouch!” You groan, “You sure are full of energy, little one.” You laugh through the pain.

You enter the living room of the Grand Admiral suite to discover Thrawn trying to correct Thaishi's terrible table manners, and she seems too happy to give him a hard time now that she has his attention. They both turn to you, Thaishi with her mouth full, and greet you.

“Welcome, Ch’acah.” Thrawn immediately stands up to meet you, “Did you sleep well tonight?”

You sniff and purse your lips in response.

“No. Your baby keeps kicking me around.”

He presses his large palm on your stomach, circling your shoulders with his other arm. He smiles lightly as he feels a hit against his palm.

“They are so vigorous.” He notes, pleased, “They seem to be in a rush to be born.”

“You don’t say!” You huff, “They punch me all to their heart content.”

He kisses your cheek with a low purr.

“I thank you for going through all of this for our family.” He praises you, “You amaze me everyday.”

You gulp discreetly. A family fated to disappear, sooner than later now… But you both keep the act before Thaishi, to preserve her. When she is not sleeping in your bed with the both of you, Thrawn is holding you all night long to comfort you and dry your tears.

But you cannot cry in front of your daughter.

Thrawn wanted to tell her, but you formerly forbade him. You wanted for her to live as peacefully and fully as she could, without a ticking time bomb over her head and an imminent sense of doom. You just wanted her to live like any normal little girl.

“Thaishi, do not take such large bites” Thrawn chastises her, “You will choke yourself, little one.”

She looks at him defiantly, pushing another bite in her already full mouth, making her look like a hamster. Thrawn sits back in front of her to teach her while you serve yourself some caff. You groan again, folding forward when another kick comes punching your rib, cutting your breath.

“Are you alright, Ch’acah?” Thrawn asks, ready to jump into action.

You smile painfully, gesturing to him that this is nothing out of the ordinary as you come to sit to enjoy a breakfast with your little family.

Thrawn already filled your plate with your favorite, pushing it to you, intimating you to eat something. You wince, not hungry in the slightest with your stomach so squeezed.

“Be reasonable.” He says softly but firmly.

“Be reasonable, mum!” Thaishi repeats with her mouth full of brioche, “Be reasonable!”

You wrinkle your nose, but accept nibbling at your food to appease him. He took your plates away once you ate half of your portion, satisfied.

But if you had listened to yourself you wouldn’t have eaten a quarter of it.

“I must go.” Thrawn announces, putting on his white jacket, “Do you need help to dress first, Ch’acah?”

“Already?” You say, disappointed.

For the last month he took care to be more present in your life, staying as late as possible in the morning, putting Thaishi to bed himself even if it was in the middle of one of his shifts, helping you bathe or take a shower even after a full, long day of work and massaging your foot and shoulders before bed.

Faro holds you personally responsible for that, you could feel her shooting you with her glare furiously, but Thrawn was still the Grand Admiral of the ship, still efficient and hard working, never slipping off… So she has nothing against you, factually.

But today he wants to go way earlier than your new routine.

“This area is infested, I want to oversee any possible combat” He explains.

You immediately tense up.

Infested by who? The Rebellion?

You are ready to make a scene to prevent him from going to fight your comrades but he immediately understands your weird gaze.

“Pirates, Ch'acah.” He lightly smiles, “They are numerous in this part.”

You immediately relax.

“Oh… Okay. Good luck, love.”

He leans forward to capture your lips in a surprising demanding kiss, you remain unresponsive for a moment, taken by surprise by such eagerness.

The birth is near, he is on edge as you are even if he hides it well.

“Urk…You are disgusting” Thaishi complains mockingly.

Thrawn and you both laugh at her reaction and he comes to kiss her cheek to say goodbye.She circles his neck with her arms and squeezes him tight.

Once he leaves the room, she immediately turns back to the table to take another bite, already throwing out what he was trying to teach her. So you lightly slap her hand away.

“No, young lady. Finish your plate first.”

She sticks her tongue out but finishes her plate nonetheless. You take a sip of your caff, observing your blue jewel in silence as she eats eagerly. She is growing and starving all the time, you have difficulty holding her in your arms now.

But not Thrawn.

He can still lift her and carry her like she weighs nothing.

You remain still as you drink your cup, not showing how your baby is literally demolishing you from the inside, punching hard in your stomach. But when you have the guard of Thaishi you refuse to show your pain, you must be a strong mother for her.

But those kicks are really strong and… painful.

“What do you want to play this morning?” You ask her.

“I won’t have lessons today?” She asks with sparkling eyes.

You tuts, shaking your finger.

“Do not dream too much, young lady. You will do your homework as every other day, but today you can play a bit first.”

She sighs in response but appreciates the prospect of games before lessons.

----------------------------------------------

You are in so much pain. It feels like a tool gripped your stomach and twisted it in knots before pulling on it like it was trying to rip it off of your body. You greet your teeth as you pretend to make your doll walk on the make believe doll house in the suite. Too lost in her game, Thaishi is fully focused on the figurines in her hands, mediating a negotiation between a client and a market gardener.

You hold your stomach, breathing deeply through your nose. You ate something bad for sure.

“Mom?” Your jewel asks.

“It’s alright, sweety. Just dizziness, it will pass.” You smile through the pain, refocusing on the game of your little girl, you wouldn’t want to trample on the nascent romance between her dolls for anything in the universe!

Your doll is about to join the negotiation for some samara fruits when the entire Chimaera trembles suddenly and an alarm starts blaring out. Thaishi yelps in surprise and fear, losing her balance. You catch her in your arms and you hold each other tight.

“What’s going on?” She asks terrified.

“Pirates, most probably.” You answer calmly, trying to keep our own anxiety at bay.

“Are we… Are we going to die?” She raises her eyes round in fear up to you.

She never knew battles or war, and always lived a peaceful life in the village. You look into her eyes, flashing memories of your battles against Thrawn.

How he used to win with such talent and brio each time!

“No. No sweety.” You soothe her, “Your father is leading the battle. That means we are going to win.” You caress her back, pulling her on your lap.

“I am scared!” She whines, snuggling against your breast.

You hear people running in the attending corridor, the battle alarm still screaming in the loudspeakers. They are all rushing to battle.

“Thaishi, look at me.” You say authoritatively.

She looks up to you again with questions at the sudden change of tone, but listening carefully to you.

“Your father is the Grand Admiral Thrawn. Unbeaten and invincible.” You expose clearly.

She is way too young to know about all of that, no use to go into details, just enough to reassure her, “He is the tactical genius of this generation. There is no safer place in the Universe but his side. Do you understand me?”

You bite the inner of your cheek at how the humiliation you suffered at his hand, how many times you had to flee the battlefield to escape death and destruction. The long hours spent forming a new strategy that could take him by surprise.

To no avail.

Despite all your and your comrades efforts, Thrawn never showed any weakness in battle and wiped out all your attempts at assassination.

If one could win no matter the odds, it is him.

“Do you understand me, Thaishi?”

She slowly nods, hugging you tighter. You smile comfortingly to her face soaked with tears and hug her.

“You have nothing to fear, my sweet. Your father is here to protect us.”

A light explodes outside of your bay window, a missile you determine, illuminating the bedroom harshly. You raise on your feet immediately to lower the blinds and protect your daughter from that spectacle but you don’t even take two steps you fall down on the ground, holding your stomach.

You’re in so much pain! You feel your blood boiling and flewing furiously in your spasming muscles.

What is going on?

“Mum? MUM?!” Thaishi runs to you.

You feel another contraction spasming your entire body and you gasp, all your air kicked out of your lungs.

“Mummy! Mummy!” She shouts, powerless, kneeling next to you.

She suddenly turns her head and jumps on her little feet and runs out of the room.

You’re in too much pain to just hear the battle outside or the commotion in the corridors. You bite your lower lips, drawing blood, curling over yourself pathetically on the carpet of the large bedroom when someone bursts inside the room.

You are suddenly being lifted up in the air and you cannot help a scream of pain in response. All your southern muscles are contracting and convulsing while you feel a wet and warm sensation spreading along your thighs, soiling your undergarment and dress.

Did your water…?

But it is too soon!

Way too soon!

The unknown officer, soldier or ensign is speeding in the corridors with you in their arms. Your baby had to come in the middle of a battle!

When Thrawn is away.

They finally reach the med bay and enter without consideration for the other patient, shouting that the Grand Admiral’s wife was twisting in pain on the ground. You are being laid down on a bed as carefully as they can, a medic and a droid arriving at your side immediately.

“Her water broke.” The medic calmly says, “Let’s place her in the operation room.”

You wriggle on the mattress, each heartbeat getting more and more painful.

Your bed is pushed in a white, sterile room and someone transfuse you with something.

“Thrawn…” You gasp, “Where is Thrawn…”

“He is leading the battle, lady (F/n).” They coldly announce.

Where is everyone?

Why are you alone?

With Thaishi, Thrawn and all your friends were here to support you.

But today you are alone… In a cold room with droids and machines and imperials

Where did all of your life go?

You scream again as a new contraction stops all your thoughts. The medic chief enter the room, seemingly pissed off.

“What do you mean her water broke? The term is two months away!” He harshly announces.

“Labour started chief, she is fully dilated and the contractions get closer and closer.” Someone responds.

He hisses but takes his place as you wince in pain.

“Prepare an incubator! The baby is premature at 28 weeks, they will need intense care.”

You close your eyes shut as a new wave of pain washes over you.

“Thrawn! Where is Thrawn!” You demand.

“He cannot make it to you, lady (F/n). You will need to do it on your own.”

As to punctuate his words, the Chimaera is shaken again. The bed trembles, worsening your pain. You feel your sweat soaking your bed and dress.

It is so uncomfortable!

“Prepare everything, they may needs respiratory assistance, surfactant in an intubation tube. Their liver and kidneys aren’t formed yet. Keep an eye on the vitals and stand ready. Lady (F/n) you can push.”

“No! No, I want Thrawn!” You cry, “Where is he? He must be here!I can’t do it without-”

Someone slides their hands in yours and squeezes it tight and a female voice rises.

“He is fighting to keep us all alive. You must be strong and do it without him. We are all here to take care of your child, focus on your labor.”

You squeeze back her hand, the pain is so great the flashing white lights blind you completely, preventing you from seeing her face.

“We are all here for you right now!” She assesses.

You feel the tools pulling on your organs again, signaling you that you simply cannot wait for your husband to magically appear in the room and support you.

You’ll have to pass this trial alone.

So you start pushing, greeting your teeth and pressing her hand with yours with all your strength. You curse as the morphine is taking its sweet time to kick in, but you have no time! Your baby is coming now!

You scream as you push, feeling like your organs get tearing apparts in millions of shreds.

Maker, you forgot how hard it was…

You feel her circle your shoulders to help soothe you as you push.

“We have a head!” The medic announces, “Keep pushing, Lady. One last time!”

You dig your nails in the metal bar you are holding and the soft hand of the woman supporting you and push hard!

“Come on!” She encourages?

You keep pushing and pushing, pain ravaging your inside.

Until you feel a mass passing through your inner muscles. And suddenly…

Silence.

No liberating scream of a baby.

Just dead… silence.

“Install the respiratory assistance and put them in the incubator, we must stabilize their temperature.” The chief orders around.

You feel dizzy and weak but still have the sense that something went wrong.

“My baby…” You moan, “Give me my baby…”

“They must go into intensive care immediately. Your job is to rest and prepare to take care of a premature baby.”

Your bust fall with a ‘oof’ on the bed, too tired to do anything anymore.

“Good job!” The woman congratulates you.

You turn your head lazily to her, and open your eyes round in surprise.

“Commodore Faro?” You ask, bewildered.

She nods in response.

“What are you doing here?” you ask at the end of your rope.

“I was running to the bridge when your daughter burst out the Suite in tears, screaming at the top of her lungs that you fell. I simply carried you here.” She explains.

You lose all your words.

She hates you.

Why would she do that? Why would she help you?

“But…” You shake your head, weak with the loss of blood.

“Grand Admiral Thrawn would have killed me if I turned my back on you at that moment.” She simply explains. “He could forgive me for not reaching the bridge for a battle, but not for me not helping you, especially when you are giving birth.”

“It… It doesn’t make any sense…” You insist.

“Because you’re weak and dizzy.” She finishes.

“Thaishi… Where is my daughter!?” You have a flash of clarity in your fogged mind.

“I ordered an officer to take care of her in the the Grand Admiral suite. She is well.”

“Go get her…” You order weakly, “She must be so worried I left her, my jewel… My daughter…”

She prevents you from trying to stand up, pushing you back gently against the bed.

“I’ll ring the officer, do not worry. I-”

She is shushed by the door opening.

Thrawn enters, immediately spotting you. He places himself at your side and takes your hand, caressing a strand of hair out of your face.

“Ch’acah. How are you?”

“Tired… The baby…”

“Is in intensive care, I know. I am sorry I was not here, my love. I failed you.”

“My baby…” You feel tears coming back, “They didn’t let me hold my baby… I want them in my arms…”

He presses his forehead against your, caressing your cheek tenderly.

“Be patient my love. The medics are taking care of them.”

He rises back up and turns to Faro. She stands to attention immediately.

“I thank you, Commodore Faro.” He ceremoniously says, “Thanks to you, my wife and baby are safe.”

“Of course, Grand Admiral.” She respectfully bows her head, “How did the battle go?”

“Very well. Some resistances that held on against us, but we rose on top.”

“As always with you, Grand Admiral. I will take my shift if you don’t need me anymore.”

“Of course, Commodore.”

They nod to each other and she leaves. Thrawn turns back to you and sits on the edge of the bed.

“Ch’acah.” he starts, “You must have been scared.”

You wipe your tears off, sniffing.

“I want my baby.” You insist weakly.

“I want to see them too.” He assures you gently but seriously, “But we cannot right now. Rest a little, it was a lot of emotions for you.”

“Stay with me!” You demand, afraid he would leave you now.

“Of course. I left the bridge to my officers and Faro will take command for now. I can remain with you.”

---------------------------------------------

Your eyes are fixed on your baby inside her incubator.

Your sweet little girl.

Your little warrior.

Nothing is yet won, so much could still go wrong. But she is taken care of. Thaishi is pressed to the incubator, observing her little sister intently, absolutely hypnotized by the blue baby sleeping soundly.

“Do not poke the incubator, sweety. Let your sister rest.” You say, laying in your bed.

You’re still in the med bay in a private room. You refused to sleep away from your premature baby. You wanted to be here at any signs of illness or bad reaction, to jump into action at any bad signs. Besides, you have been judged too weak to leave yet.

Thaishi stops poking and jumps in the bed to slide between your arms, snuggling against you.

“What’s her name again?” She asks.

“Thauko.” You say again with a little smile.

“Thauko…” She repeats lowly, “Why is she in that weird crib?”

“She is premature, she needs a lot of care.”

“Premature?”

“She is born too soon, her development hasn’t stopped yet.”

“Is that… Bad?” She asks with her years old words.

“Yes… But we have skillful medics and she is a Chiss, like you. She will survive.” You say assertively.

You both remain silent, eyes fixed on the incubator, listening to all the machinery helping your baby staying alive. You sigh and bury your nose in Thaishi’s hair to inhale her scent for comfort.

That’s when Thrawn decided to enter your room.

“Daddy!” Thaishi shoots, already forgetting your demand to remain quiet for the baby.

“Thaishi, my little one.” He takes her in his arms, “Did you come to visit your little sister?”

She puts and winces, displeased.

“Yes, but she doesn’t move, she only sleeps! That’s so boring!”

He chuckles lightly in response.

“It is normal, she needs to build her strength to grow and heal.”

“Well it’s boring!” She insists.

He comes to the incubator, passing a hand through one of the designated holes to gently, tenderly caress the tummy of his baby. You observe him observing his daughter with so much love in his gaze. She wriggles at the warm sensation of his large palm on her body, her tiny, tiny hand trying to seize one of his fingers to keep him here.

“Hello, Thauko.” He salutes her respectfully, like he would an adult. “My brave and courageous daughter.” He says almost to himself.

“Our little warrior.” You add with a sad smile.

“Indeed.” He hums approvingly.

You cried in his arms, terrified for the life of your daughter. But he remained assertive that she would survive, that you will all surpass that trial together. He was so adamant you had no choice but to get convinced that she would make it, no matter the odds.

But that is how he operates. Always choosing hope no matter what.

The feeble baby seems to burp, trembling in the crib with tubes in her little nose.

How much would you give to be able to hold her against yourself, to hug her tight and shower her with love and warmth.

But your human body isn’t warm enough for her, preferring Thrawn’s warmth. He delicately grazes her plump cheek with his knuckles, blue skin on blue skin.

You silently admire that scene.

Your husband giving love to both of your daughters, hugging one and caressing the other gently. He retracts his hand off the incubator to leave your baby at peace and his gaze travels to yours.

“They are coming.” He simply announces.

You shudder.

He needs not to precise who, you know very well who he is talking about.

But now?!

In this situation?!

Did he lose his mind?

“With a premature baby?!” You demand, digging your nails in the cover.

“They have been properly warned and prepared in consequence.” He continues, “They are en route.”

You open your mouth to retort but Thaishi beats you to it.

“Who’s en route?”

Thrawn affirms his grip on her body and turns his gaze to her, deadly serious.

“The Chiss Ascendancy.” He explains, “They come to pick you up.”

She tilts her head slightly, not understanding.

“I thought we were heading towards an Empire?”

“Me and your mother. You and Thauko will go your own way.”

She remains silent for a second, like she failed to understand.

“...What?” She asks with a trembling voice.

You give Thrawn a black look, warning him to keep his mouth shut but he slightly shakes his head to you, telling you he made his decision. He comes to sit on your bed, keeping her in his arms.

“Thaishi, you and your sister will join the Chiss Ascendancy. You will grow there and become adults, form your own families and serve the Ascendancy at the best of your abilities. This is for your safety.”

“You are coming with us… Right?” She inquires.

“No, my jewel.” He informs her, “Me and your mother have unfinished business at the Empire. Dangerous business, improper for children so young. The Ascendancy will welcome you, raise you and educate you in civilized ways. You will join a new family and walk towards a brighter future that we could not give you here.”

Her little hand that held his sleeve fall down to her side, gawking.”

“You will… abandon us?” Her voice is toneless with incomprehension and fear.

You rise in a sitting position to hug her.

“No, my sweet, no. We pondered this situation, this is the best solution for your safety. Our… respective works could never permit us to meet your needs and offer you a stable family. You would only suffer.”

“But… But… I don’t want to go…” She insists

“We know, little one.” He continues, “And we do not want to let you go either. But your safety and well being is our ultimate priority, the best solution is to send you to the Ascendancy.”

“But… No… No!” She decides, shouting, “I don’t wanna go! I wanna stay!” She starts punching his arms but he easily seizes her little fists to stop her as she cries.

“This is for the best, Thaishi. You may not understand now, but once you grow you will accept and recognize our decision was for the best.” He asserts.

She wails and screams and cries, refusing to calm down.

He hugs her tight, preventing her from punching and hurting herself, his head resting on her own little head.

“I don’t wanna! I wanna stay! Why are you abandoning us!?”

You press yourself against her, both of you holding her, letting her express her frustration, anger and fear through her tears and whines.

Your heart bleeds at those odious sounds. You only want to hear her laughs and giggles, those sounds are just so painful to you.

“They are coming to bring you to a better future.” He gently insists, “You will understand one day.”

“I wanna stay with you!”

“Once an adult, you will be free to come back and meet us once again. We could talk longly about anything you so desire. But before that, you will remain safe in the Ascendancy.” He keeps talking with his melodious, soothing voice.

You all three remain in a tight hug, consoling Thaishi, knowing the scars on her heart will take years, i not decades to heal.

----------------------------------------------------

Your legs tremble, feeling like jello. Thaishi holds on to your hand like a buoy in the open sea. Thrawn remains stills next to you, his hands clasped behind his back as always.

Before you a large Corvette is slowly opening its ramp.

Thashi digs her nails in your flesh when the ramp hits the floor, revealing Chiss with hard gazes. They silently and haughtily descend to join you, like they own the place.

Thrawn takes a step forward, with a respectful and polite expression.

“Admiral Ar’alani, I hope your travel was safe and good.” He asks in Sy Bisti.

“Grand Admiral Thrawn.” She responds coldly, “It was uneventful, which is quite surprising. Where are they?”

You flinch, squeezing Thaishi’s hand in yours. Thrawn take a step to the side, designing you two to his fellow Chiss. She walks up to you assuredly, gauging you up and down.

“I assume you are the mother.” she continues in Sy Bisti.

By instinct you place yourself before Thaishi, feeling yourself trembling before that woman. Her gaze lazily falls on your daughter, observing her intently.

“What is your name?” She demands.

Thaishi hides behind your leg and you caress her head.

“Your name, child!” She insists harsher.

“Thaishi.” You interject, trying to appease her, “Her name is Thaishi.”

“Thaishi…” She repeats before turning towards Thrawn, “The Mitth will not appreciate that name.”

“I fail to see why?” He responds, tilting his head slightly.

“Of course you don’t.” She turns back to you and your child, “Thaishi of the Chiss, it is time for you to say your farewell and come with us!”

You feel your daughter flinching behind you, oressign herself tighter behind you.

“A moment…” You ask, kneeling to her.

The woman named Ar’alani breathes through her nose and joins Thrawn to speak with him in Cheuhn. Your level isn’t good enough to understand the discussion.

You look at Thaishi, checking the zipper of her coat was up.

“Are you ready?” You ask softly.

She shakes her head.

“No… I don’t wanna go.”

“I know, my sweet. But it is for the greater good. You’ll see, everyone will be like you there, you’ll make a lot of friends and have a lot of fun.” You try to smile at her.

“But you will not be with me.”

“Thauko will be with you. Take care of your little sister, you are the eldest, she will need you.”

She sniffs in response.

“Mom… Can’t I stay?” She tries to plead again.

“Oh my sweet, I don’t want you to go either. But you would never be in security with us.”

You take her in your arms.

“Mum…” She insists.

You look into her red eyes. You see she is trying really hard to be strong and assured but you feel how close she is to broke. You squeeze her in your arms, reveling one last time in her.

“I love you so, so much Thaishi. Never forget that, please.”

She buries her head in the crook of your neck.

“It is time.” Thrawn announces, coming closer to you.

He kneels to Thaishi, holding her cheeks in his large hands.

“Thaishi, be strong. Obey the adults and work hard, do not neglect your education and look over your younger sister.” He says assuredly, the last orders from a father to his child, “I love you.”

He hugs her and she hugs him back, circling his neck with her little arms. You look at them, refraining a sob. You raise your head as you hear the wheels of the incubator, you stand up and press your hands against the glass, observing your baby.

You rarely had the occasion to hold her in your arms, she so rarely got out of the incubator. You gently take her out and kisses her forehead tenderly. Thrawn come caressing her head delicately and kisses her cheek. You press her against you one last time and put her back inside the incubator.

“Let’s go.” Ar’alani says, taking Thaishi’s hand and pulling her towards the corvette.

The Human medic pushes the incubator to who you assume to be a Chiss medic that take it and roll it towards the ship. Thaishi nervously turns back to you, falling behind Ar’alani.

“Mum.” She calls.

You wave at her, trying your best to smile comfortingly, hiding the pain you feel deep inside you.

“Mum…” This time her voice cracks.

She pulls on her hand, freeing herself and runs back to you. You immediately lower yourself and embrace her. Ar’alani looks at her, flabbergasted.

“Thaishi.” You broke.

“Mum!” She cries. “Don’t let them take me! Mum!”

You squeeze her hard in your arms when you feel getting snatched away from you. Ar’alani stands back up, holding Thaishi in her arms and turns back to the ship.

“Mum! Dad!” Thaishi screams at the top of her lungs, extending her hands to you, “Dad!”

You feel Thrawn kneeling next to you, circling your shoulders, as much to comfort you as to prevent you from running after your children.

“Mum!”

You dig your nails in Thrawn’s flesh, fighting the urge to sprint after that Chiss woman and take back your daughters with your teeth and fists.

“MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!” You hear her final scream as the ramp closes back on them.

And then the Corvette takes off…

And disappears away.

And you break.

In a million pieces.

You scream, clawing at Thrawn that tries to keep you whole. You tear up his uniform in your pain, tearing his blue skin to blood.

But he holds on.

Embracing you in his large arms, caressing your hair, speaking sweet nothing in your ears.

But you are just deaf to his words.

And you cry.

Suddenly your fight for the Rebellion feels so insignificant, and you wish you would have gone with your children.

Thrawn opens your collar for you to breathe better as you wail, cradling you tenderly.

“Breath, Ch’acach.” He tries to calm you down, “They will be safe there, not harm will come to them. Breath.”

You sob and gasp, right in the middle of a panic attack. Thrawn caresses your cheek with the back of his hand, holding you close.

“Calm down, (Y/n). Calm down.” He keeps chanting lowly, only for your ears. “I am with you.”

Your mouth is open to swallow big bowls of air but they never reach your lungs, getting stuck in your throat.

“Today I am with you to catch you.” He continues gently.

But he wont be for long anymore… In less than a week you will reach the Empire's territories and he will let you go back to the Rebellion.

And you will be alone.

@bluechiss @thrawnalani @justanothersadperson93 @al-astakbar@thrawnspetgoose @readinglistfics @elise2174 @debonaire-princess @twilekchiss @pencil-urchin @ineedazeezee @mssbridgerton @dance-like-russia-isnt-watching @Cortisolcosplay @obbicrystaleo @germie2037

#thrawn #grand admiral thrawn #mitth'raw'nuruodo #thrawn x you #thrawn x reader #thrawn x f!reader #fanfic #vibratingskull

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