Fail Better Premium: David's Thoughts (Part III)
Creating a breadcrumb trail with David Duchovny's personal growth.
"The origin story of the podcast was the House of D business. And, y'know, I wanted to further that-- extend the failure-- because it's not just that movie didn't make enough money, Rotten Tomatoes this or that or the other thing. It's really... that that was an authentic expression from me. Y'know, it was coming out of a global, corporate, a wonderful hit in The X-Files; but this was kinda me, coming out and swinging and saying, 'This is the kinda art I want to make. This is the kind of writing and directing I want to do.' And it felt authentic, it felt like I was making a real 'coming of age' story. And I thought it had well-observed psychological insight. And it was moving, and hopefully funny. And, and, um, that was, y'know, kind of, impulse going in; I wasn't thinking I'm gonna-- this isn't me as 'the great auteur', y'know? This was my first, very personal artistic expression after The X-Files.
"...So, I come out, and this is an authentic piece of myself; and then that gets the F, that gets the fail. And I think that's why it hurt so badly; and here we have this podcast, so many years later, that is still using this as an origin story. And even though I laughed about it-- when I talked about it with Ben Stiller-- um, the pain was lingering; and obviously still is because I'm still working through it, why am I still talking about it? ...But it keeps unfolding. And the fact that it was authentic... is a new wrinkle for me. It wasn't just 'oh, failure, oh, public failure, oh, professional failure'; now it's almost like a personal failure, because I felt I was being authentic. There was a real offering, I felt, in authenticity. And freedom. And for it to be met with the skepticism and the censure that I thought it was. Mm, it went deeper.
"And as Dr. Maté would say, it put me in touch with other times where my authentic self had been rejected. And that's something that I now can look at; and maybe we can all look at. Y'know, these times when... it feels insignificant, but we were being authentic; and somebody else said, 'I'd rather have the socially acceptable you'. Y'know, not outright. You got the sense. '...So let's go back to, y'know, that other construct you made-- as an actor, as a commercial person in a world of selling goods.' This is not sour grapes at all, and I'm not pointing fingers. This is how it goes."
(Part I, Part II)
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To be completely fair to the Dungeons & Dragons fandom, groups actively making themselves miserable by adopting house rules that emphasise aspects of play they dislike, then blaming it on the game isn't something that's specific to Dungeons & Dragons, nor even to tabletop RPGs. Think of all the casual board-gaming groups who play Monopoly with a bunch of house rules that are practically calculated to make the game take three times as long to finish (e.g., removing property auctions, cash on Free Parking, etc.), then constantly complain that it takes forever to play.
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Amazing to find a new but old pic.
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