#how am i supposed to work on top of this
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Morning fuckers.
I'm not a morning person. But I'm up at 5 am. And have no choice but to be awake at the moment. Why? THIS is wHAt my brain is doing to me. I've been writing this in my notes for like. Almost an hour now.
This is not edited for your reading pleasure. Enjoy.
The first half second of the Disney logo. Now the last twinkly little bit of it.
Two different parts of color your night. (THEY ARE ALTERNATING ITS 3 NOW)
very random thoughts. (So far I've had thoughts about the date I went on last night, several different things about Balder's gate 3. The idea to write all this down. Random thoughts about my girlfriend that I can't even remember anymore again. ((Random being like. Often very disconnected and only sharing the topic of her in common. As broad of a spectrum of how I want to propose, to how warm her skin is, to like. That one time she farted In my face and I threw up.))
Now there's the fusion fall loading screen, also playing in jumbled order
All it took for this to start this morning. Was sitting up just enough to drink tea, telling Brie thank you for said tea, and telling her she looked beautiful last night by the kopps waterfall.
5:20 or 5:30am Also the music in my brain. Has not stopped. While writing this. (or editing. Like 20 minutes later Yes I lied. Get over it.)
Sometimes it's simultaneously playing 2 or 3 different song pieces at once.
I don't know how to stop this.
There's no task to refocus on other than it's 5 am and I neED to SLEEP.
It's just turning into a cacophony of undecipherable sound.
Like I'll hear the "painted so vividly by you" Then suddenly my brain cuts to the opening to the fusionfall loading screen, then it plays the High note of color your night with the piano and stuff
Only the beginning and ending of when you wish upon a star
"Two hands meet at Zenith" "I want to say" high note part
OH GOD NOW GOLDEN HOUR JUST ADDED ITSELF
I mean. At least it's not totally mangled.
Now I've got that weird bwoooa dududu dun de dun TikTok noise thing.
Color your night is back.
2112 just started. Behind my ears feels warm. It's also sped up for some reason.
And also playing out of order but hey.
Also I think I'm literally hearing static. Probably just the fan though. Wait no theres a subtle staticy ringing.
Like I don't think that high note part in my head is singing the right word even
I just keep getting something something Al-i-BYYYYYYYYYYY
Goooooollldeeeeen hour
This has been constant for 40. MINUTES NOW.
Somehow. My 4ish hour of sleep insane brain has decided to make this into a tumblr post.
WHY DO I WANT TO LIVE BLOG MY BRAIN THING NO PNE WILL READ THIS
I over tagged again.
Oh hey the music stop.
OH GOD MY EYES BURN WHY THERE'S NO LIGHT, MY PHONE IS ALMOST AS DIM AS IT GETS, ON NIGHT MODE, AND DARK THEME
Adfhusgicgovhvvohv whyyyyyyy
#adhd#hElp#my brain#disconnected#still dont know how to tag#Does anyone else think that it's extremely stressful to live in the US or just have an online presence right now?#i cant even play games or watch anything without someone trying to cram a product down my throat and take what little money i do have left#and no one talks about how insane going back to sleep is.#or how it's hard to find places to exist that dont want you to spend money.#like obviously get more money but like. Im getting burnout just trying to stabilize the home chores and my self care.#how am i supposed to work on top of this#sleep is apparently for the weak
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Was looking at refs and since Viktor has two different leg braces I was wondering, do we think he wears them simultaneously?? The refs don't perfectly line up perspective-wise so it's hard to tell but parts of the one he wears during the Hexcore scenes look like they could maybe line up with the brace that he wears over his clothes, but also some parts really don't and look like they'd be super uncomfy. Also HOW does he take these on and off. Experts weigh in
#viktor#arcane#ig my assumption would be that he wears both simultaneously cause in the scene where he injects the shimmer#it seems implied that he just threw off his clothes and kept experimenting#so one might assume he was already wearing the smaller one underneath#tho it is a funny image to think of him just being like 'one sec i gotta go all the way home and grab my other brace to do this'#he can take off the back brace too cause hes not wearing it in the scene where he's in the hospital bed and you can see his shoulder#where the strap would be#but that one seems to make even less sense functionality wise#everything looks like its screwed together#or screwed INTO him#but only the top bolts on his spine are i think#in the close ups of his back brace model it looks like theres cushioning underneath the parts of it that cover the rest of his spine#so he can take it off. but HOW#what parts of it unscrew/detatch to pull open and off#does it not do that at all and he just has to shimmy it off his shoulder and all the way down his legs to get it off like a romper#the shape language of the designs are cool but like. tell me how it wooorrkkksss#forgive me if im just dumb and dont know at all how braces work and theres a very simple practical explanation for all this#any king who wants to infodump about mobility aids at me....the floor is yours#something to be said i suppose about the fact that zaunites have crazy prosthetics with wild augmentations that work flawlessly#and piltover's like. idk heres some fucking uncomfortable ass metal. salo gets wheelchair in non ada compliant place#they havent ever needed to adapt to accommodate disabilities etc etc#or maybe artists were just like 'heres a design' and everybody clapped and didnt give it a second thought#and then they just turned off the visibility on the mesh when they didnt need it knowing thered not be a scene where its taken off#dont even wanna THINK about what that rig would look like#like 40 different controllers#soft body and rigid hard surfaces needing to move together....#a cold chill just shot up my spine#<- guy who is only an animator and doesnt know how to rig#forgive the magic wand tool with zero cleanup. i am lazy
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Iris my love... gotta have the girly secondary fursona. For gender time. Actually think she's being demoted to fursona number 3 but idk we'll see about the pecking order when refs are all done. She was waaay overdue for a redesign oh shit I just realized I didn't put a color palette on here. Oh well ig too late for that now I am not rearranging that bg
#oh i should pop some character related tag commentary to the top of the tags thatd be neat. so uhh fun facts. i think my sibling technically#made her first design waaaaay back cause they drew her before i ever did. i dont remember which of us actually came up with her tho lol. sh#has antlers but shes always been cis in my mind so just like. dont think about it too hard ig. also while she is in part named after the#flower cause hashtag girly things (this was before i too was named after a flower. hindsight am i right) she was primarily named after the#song. by the goo goo dolls. the song thats really transgender to me. hindsight am i right. whys my cis girl fursona got all the transness#oh yeah and that earring is supposed to look like an iris. they are not easy flowers to draw tho good lird#she used to be a whitetail/fennec cause i love my local deer but mule deers big ol ears have swayed me. i love a big deer ear#she also used to have paws and a nub tail but i realized i was missing the best part of fox. big fluffy tail. and then the paws made her#look too fox yknow. wanted her to really look like a hybrid instead of just 'fennec with antlers' lol. anyway now for less relevant tag tal#guys i fear i am fursuit brained rn i keep looking at her and thinking about how fun she'd be to make a suit of. im too broke for thissssss#im already working on a suitttt i cant start another one on the side i dont even know where to get foam.... cause joann fabrics is gone...#actually wait i gotta figure that out like. real soon. i need foam still for the head im working on. shoot. uh. guys where do i get foam#i fear finishing lichens tail and starting zoras head has made me realize fursuit making may be my passion. but i do not have the finances#for this. tbh might see if i can just work my ass off for a month in like idk june just to get it over with for a bit and have money. but i#know that will not be a good idea it kills me to work more than like 5 hour shifts for more than threeish days in a row#i should really just actually make a commission sheet and take comms. that would be ideal#anyway i will now shut up :) and also schedule this for a few hours from typing cause i just posted a different ref#zoracontent#zora arts#clovers characters#iris#furry#sfw furry#fursona
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Hi y'all, I just wanted to talk a little about the behind the scenes of what I've been up to, to give y'all a little transparency and to open myself up for any tips or input! 🙏 Thank you for your continued support and for taking the time to look at my art 🫶
First and foremost I wanted to give some transparency about my art capacity.
As og followers may remember, I started this blog when I was doing art full time. Eventually my living expenses grew and I had to go back to work. I find myself in a cycle of "I'll make more art soon, once I get a job!" And "I'll make more art soon, once I am done with this job!" I lost my most recent job suddenly, having had an extension waved over my head until the last day(October 7th). Now I'm excited to have more time for art, but I am also feeling a rush to get a new job ASAP as I've been living paycheck to paycheck. I dream of doing this work full time, I'm just scared it's not quite there yet and I worry that I come off as scammy or dishonest when I anticipate more stability around the corner.
Second, I've been struggling with the Patreon. It's taken me a while to come to terms with this, but from what I've seen Patreon is not intuitive at all from the creator end. It doesn't do a good job of organizing addresses, emails, showing who or who isn't subscribed to me, or organizing and displaying the work I put on there. I've been really shocked by this experience, since lots of big names use Patreon. It's been a great way to streamline support, but it's been unhelpful in every other regard. I would like to continue using it, but I will most likely post more wips or process videos there in the future.
Which brings me to my third point, zines. I love making zines so much, it feels personal and fulfilling and fun! However the Patreon issues make it harder to keep information in order about where to send zines, or even where to message folks about them. In addition to this, the post office has been a big barrier to me, oftentimes only being open at the same time as my dayjob. Making zines can take days, then sending them out is a whole other monster.
This work is so important to me. Drawing peoples fantasies, representing body types, creating work around sexuality and the human experience feels like what I'm meant to do. I've made comics since I was a kid. This is the dream to me. The friends I've been able to make through this work are so important to me, and the conversations have been invaluable. Not to mention fun! I wanna doodle, I wanna draw hot stuff, I wanna thirst over these dudes! I want to play!
But I also just want to be transparent about the barriers I'm working around to share that experience. I'm completely self taught, both in art AND in running shops, building websites, running 8 accounts, etc. I take a lot of time to learn the logistics of these things, and try to make them make sense for my relationship with y'all (I do not want to paywall my art!! I don't want to!!!). This year my desktop broke down (the main one I use for all paintings and digital art). I've paused my Etsy shops and my Patreon to try to catch up with things. Trying to learn to paint in a completely different program. Then lost my job with no savings.
At the end of the day I don't want anything to come between me sharing my art with you. I wish I could doodle a thing, take a picture, and post it here. No third party site, no shop, no subscription. Just sharing my art with you. I promise I'm trying to figure out how to stay as close to that as possible, and I want to thank y'all for sticking with me as I untangle all of that.
So, what can you expect in the near future?
I'm working on a couple of painting commissions right now, which you should be able to see in the next couple of days! I want to catch up on kinktober and get those posted as well. There's a comic commission in progress which I'm very eager to work on, and which I think y'all will be excited for! To ease the weight of the Patreon I think I may do less zines/polls there and more wips and process videos! If possible, I want to do more full colored work too.
Thank you again for enjoying my work, and if you have any input or tips my inbox is always open 🙏🫶💕
#long post#info#marco lore#i wish i had time to edit this and make it nice#i just wanted to be open with yall about how much work this takes and that im trying to make it more doable#i don't want to overpromise stuff with patreon or shops and if im late sending stuff i never ever want it to come off as intentional or mali#malicious or as a scam#im just trying very hard to like ...survive. financially. and then trying to make all the logistics of thos big machine work. and then keep#up with commissions and shops and printing and mailing#god i wish i had employees but jts just me#i hand draw everything and then post it here to the word press to the ig and crop and caption and tag#then to the Patreon if it makes sense to or to the tiktok back in the day#and the formatting is all different#and i get messages across all of these platforms and I'm trying to learn a new way of painting on the fly#on top of that im supposed to be running my two Etsy shops too which im not right now because..broadly gestures#my nervous system can only take losing a job so often. the rug was really pulled feom under me in this one. i thought id have more time#i don't want to sound like I'm whining and i don't want to give up on all of this#i want to be very very very clear that art is what i love and who i am and what i want to do#i want to be posting on the daily again#i just need to evaluate what that looks like everytime life changes#I'm seriously so grateful for those of y'all that have joined the Patreon or bought stuff from the shop i really don't mean to drop the ball#so many times#y'all have literally been the difference between me making rent or not and I'm so worried that i don't make enough art to give back to that#relationship#im trying my best#okay anyways im posting this
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yuuji, sukuna and megumi... all in one chapter... I need to lay down. I need to pace around my room. I need to sit in silence. I need to start yelling into the void. I nee
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So I’ve been making this today. I cropped it for this so it’s not the final page, but it was finished enough for me to just put this on its own. But you might see it again on a bigger page
Anyways, I’m showing this because I was trying to redesign my AU characters, as I’ve said before, and this is currently my first attempt
With this design, I almost entirely lifted from Cement Man/Concrete Man in this concept art picture I saved earlier, because I thought the body type would work for someone like Megatron, the only real noticeable difference being the head

Honestly I kind of like it, it’s only maybe a couple things that might need to change. One thing I genuinely don’t know to keep is the circles on his shoulders, because I straight up took them from Concrete Man and they have no reason to be on a Megatron design otherwise. But they aren’t horrible, per se
I don’t really know why I’m posting this outside of prematurely showing off my work, as I am prone to do because of my impatience, other than I guess to ask, does this look better? Is this a good direction to go?
Like here’s the original design for comparison, if that helps in any way
I’m not really sure where to go with these designs, so I guess I’m just asking
#I did also somewhat change the body design process?#you can’t really tell in the final but the circular chest part was made that way on top of a more normal body sketch#I didn’t do that with the arms which I probably should’ve but it’s somewhat there#idk maybe I need to make a full body design for it to be more apparent#also I probably should’ve had the eyes be closer to the Mega Man style eyes#but I chickened out bc I couldn’t figure out how the eyebrows would work and I like having those#also also I do think at least I should have Megatron keep this relative body type#like he’s larger and buffer than Optimus who’d probably be closer to Mega Man or Zero’s size like the normal size bots#since you know he’s supposed to be powerful and modeled after a former gladiator bot#but that also means I need to learn how to stick to size differences which I am bad at#but anyways yeah#I should probably go do homework at some point today I have many essays to do this week#transformers#transformers au#transformers x#mega man#concrete man#Megatron#my art#redesign#wip#questions
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which yakuroom am i voting for??
proooobbabbly (in order of preference) 1. vampire yaku (i REALLY wanna hear yakumo lash out. AND the goofy mirror training) 2. idol yaku (lots of lore in this one, along with potential for snake-language yakumo. bonus: panicked whisper yaku in R1) OR 3. iced coffee yaku (give me more of that dulcet service voice)
deliberations under the cut
when they launched the poll, my immediate answer was SHADOW LINEAGE YAKUMO! I WANNA HEAR HIM SCREAM AS HE PLUMMETS FROM THE CLIFF but, not so hasty... did he ACTUALLY scream while hurtling to his doom? after i checked the rooms, no. no he did not. in fact, he was quite coherent throughout the crisis. that simply will not suffice. so, scrap shadow lineage. i must now go through room by room...
Things that , voiced, may INTRIGUE me? 👀👓:
White day yakumo: - eiden's weaponised incompetence while yakumo teaches him how to stir 😁
Idol yakumo: - blade and oli!! - yakumo ?happy!? it feels like it's been so long - yakumo speaking ancient serpent language - i can see the appeal in hearing yaku sing [ancient mating ball music], but i kinda prefer letting my imagination do the work. hmm...
Count drakumo: - yakumo losing his temper with eiden (I WANT TO HEAR HIM LASH OUT AT PRECIOUS EITO-SAN. JUST ONCE) - eiden talking about his hidden scalp scar and past anger issues - garu and aster!! often talking about food!! - eiden saying affirmations in the mirror about himself :)<3 - yakumo being forced to repeat eiden's compliments about his stamina and cuteness 😂
Nerdkumo: - some extra lines of being nervous and flustered never hurt anyone
Shadow Lineage: - a loooot of backstory but it's from Great Serpent POV/outside narrative, so it's not as relevant voice-wise - if they could squeeze in some distress noises every time yakumo nearly dies , that would be great
umbrella yaku: - yakuei being scared about ghosts and clinging onto each other - baby yaku? but... he's just crying again, in a pitched up voice probably. not the MOST interesting for me 🤨
Mermaid yaku: - the stupid sappy moment where eiden lies on yaku's lap and gets his tummy rubbed and theyre all disgustingly sweet n whispery
Iced coffeeyaku: - rei and blade!! - confident service yaku voice? talking with customers??? - yakumo switching between his calm happy-to-serve mode to being DEAD FLUSTERED by eiden's advances - idk something about yakumo acting as little coffee boy with a jingly collar .. bringing back this relevant line from the aster/yaku fic:
#NO RECENCY BIAS ALLOWED. WE'RE GOING BACK TO THE BEGINNING *examines every room*#i feel like i'm not great at matching up with popular opinion#dare i get what i wish for? unlikely. but i shall wish nonetheless#i wonder what the numbers will choose!#many rooms have yaku talking normally. conversationally. the classic eiden-clan member verbal jamgle#so i want to vote for something that will enrich the yaku vocal experience. something with... rare delicacies!?!?!#even if i don't get to hear angryaku. as long as i get to hear some flustered yaku or whispery yaku i'll be :)#i will defer to the mains of other chars for most cases. you know. consult the bladeguy the kuyaguy etc.etc.#i want to vote for units i have but i don't have enough of everyone :(#there ARE some units that i enjoy tho so i might vote for those#like sunburst dante . one of the few dantes i have but i really like that one. sulky eiden... wonderful...#and i'll have to revisit my rei rooms because i do not remember how much of a freak i am about maid rei. must check#for eiden it's gonna be bunnyboy timetraveller . no contest#THREE MR EIDEN. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TURN DOWN THREE MR EIDEN!!!!!!!#i'm sorry to eiden's va. god works hard but eiden's va works harder something somethin#fhishe listes#sorta rather kinda mad that vampire yaku managed to make it to the top of 2 of my lists.somehow.#ugh. EIDEN AND YAKUMO MIRROR PRACTICE IS REALLY FUNNY OK#and before that .yakumo cries while stuffing rice balls in his face. garbled crying#there's a lot i enjoy here despite the lot i don't enjoy here
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brocal for the ship bingo?
The OTP to end all other OTPs... (Man. This wound up being basically Cori's Masterpost of BroCal. AKA... this got long and has some images, since I realized I can post my own art directly instead of just a text link to it lol.)
Wasn't actually expecting this to wind up with a bingo? But I got basically 2?? (Will explain the lighter heart later.) This is A LONG post, and definitely gonna get SUGGESTIVE, bc man, am I obSESSED with BroCal. I'm just gonna go thru each checked box, since I don't know how else to structure this post lol.
Read More to save ppl's dashboards:
I want them to make out with blood: OKAY. I HAVE A WHOLE THING PLANNED FOR THIS CONCEPT. I AM NOT GOING TO GO INTO DETAIL ABOUT IT JUST YET BC I ACTUALLY WANNA WRITE IT. I'm obsessed with this one fanart of Bro licking Lil Cal, and it spurred on an idea I outlined and really wanna write: https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/739969858334294016/hiiii-mutual-i-am-secrecy-asking-if-u-have-anymore
((Sorry for the plain text links, Tumblr app is NOT cooperating with me right now to add hyperlinks. I'd post the image directly if that one was mine.))
Basically, I just really need to see Bro and Cal making out with blood in their mouths, and I started a whole convoluted, unrelated outline in order to make that hapen. It'll probably just be a really short thing that ends at the uh climax, since otherwise it's gonna end up sadstuck. And I don't like sadstuck lol.
Undeniably t4t: Bro and Dirk are always trans for me, and Lil Cal's got that uh... what percentage did I calculate it out to be? 13% of Dirk is in Lil Cal [ My shitpost calculations: https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/746702663327072256/i-ran-out-of-tags-rambling-about-this-so-im-just ] so Lil Cal is at least 13% trans because of that much of Dirk being in him, plus however you feel about the other components being trans. LMAO this is ridiculous to type out. Moving on.
EDIT: FUTURE CORI INTERJECTING WITH A:
"Lil Cal Top Surgery Healing Progess: Day 1"
Terrible for each other affectionate/derogatory: I don't even know where the affectionate/derogatory split occurs. I multiship BroCal as both Bro/normal puppet Lil Cal and as Bro/evil juju puppet Lil Cal, and whatever combination in between or outside of that. Terrible in that Bro is so obsessed with Cal that he doesn't have normal relationship/social skills and uses Lil Cal as both a crutch and motivator alternately, in a terrible cycle, or maybe rather... spiral. And also terrible in that Bro is caught in the allure of playing the role of puppeteer while also being a puppet for the darker parts of Lil Cal, whether he actively knows it or not. (Honestly though, I feel like it's dismissive if you try to blame all of Bro's faults on Lil Cal like this tho, which is why I tend towards liking Lil Cal as just a regular puppet a lil bit more. Or at least, a regular mildly supernatural puppet since that can be a little more entertaining if Cal can get into mischief while no one's looking or give off the vibes of his mood more directly, rather than like entirely inanimate or 'just LE, trapped in a puppet body.' Again, I like all of these concepts.) ((I mean that can also be a whole post of its own, like, by the time Bro gets ahold of Lil Cal, are any of the other components still alive in there? Like, are ARquius and Gamzee still in there or did Caliborn kill and consume them entirely? Idk how it works, man. This is why I like Lil Cal as his own person, maybe just influenced by the feelings of the others. LaCroix: CalGamARquius essenced water. Lil Croix.))
They need to get weirder with it: YES YES. 1000% YES. I need entirely shameless Bro doing entirely shamless things to Lil Cal. I want them inseparable and doing unspeakable things to each other. I want Bro taking full advantage of Cal having a puppet body and all the intimacy that comes with making repairs and being elbow-deep in stuffing.
Playing with them like dolls cute/psychological torture: This is the same divide as with the 'terrible for each other' point, so I'm just gonna go with the cute one, since the torture one is self-explanatory. I want them fucking married. Like. Full mushy cute romance type of relationship that Bro has never felt for any of the people in his life (cough aromantic cough). I made this comic not too long ago, and I often fondly look back on it, because I adore the concept of Bro being lovey and romantic and everything out of character around Lil Cal because he feels safe and loved and comfortable around Cal:
[ https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/750602227910131712/brocal-4-lyfe-so-i-had-this-idea-of-dave-being ]
I made a post a long, long time ago (not gonna link that one bc it was personal and I was being very obviously mentally ill ["C'mon, like you're not being obviously mentally ill while typing paragraph upon paragraph about BroCal still in 2024 like 10 years later??" Fair.]) But the gist of it was that, like, having objectophilia or objectum sexuality is like, from an outsider pov, it's a way to express love to yourself. You filter all your self-hate through the object you love, and you get back unconditional love in return.
Lil Cal is never gonna hate Bro, no matter what Bro does. As a regular puppet, Lil Cal doesn't have the capacity for hate. And so that only brings them closer, since Cal is never gonna reject Bro for any reason. (Back to being a crutch. RSD is real, and Dave is probably a big trigger for that since he's not on the same wavelength of weird as Bro [not blaming Dave, obviously, this is a post about BroCal].) Bro can experience receiving positive attention from Lil Cal, without feeling 'fake' or uncool by expressing that same attention or affection directly to his own self. (Things are always done through multiple layers with the Striders, aren't they?) ((And I'm not saying Lil Cal doesn't love Bro, or that their relationship is just pretend - it's real, I'm just like, 'What's going on behind the curtain in the mundane situation?/ How is the relationship appealing?' Lil Cal luvs Bro 5eva 4 lyfe and that's a hard fact. Could cut diamonds with that shit.)) Example: maybe Bro is dealing with a bout of body/gender dysphoria and is trying to take out his frustration with working out, and it's not helping, even if he's powered through a set better than normal. Then, he notices the way Lil Cal is watching him, and he can feel the excitement seeping off Cal. He can sense the echoes of a wolf-whistle ring out through his mind, and it's like. Okay, none of that shit from before matters, he's got all the validation he needs right there in Lil Cal. Maybe flex in Cal's direction, Bro?
Oh, so back to being cute: isn't it wonderful how the template maker phrased it as 'playing dolls'? But yeah, I want all the mush and everything. Bro has a whole wardrobe for Lil Cal for every minor event that occurs in the Strider household. I want them going on genuine dates. Maybe even... holding hands. Bro blushes for the first time since he was 16. He even gets to take Lil Cal with him when he goes out to DJ or put on a show. Not to mention the whole website business. (I've talked about Cal's role in that before, but I'll mention it in a moment...)
They will die in a heart shaped pool of blood: I mean, kinda did happen, even tho Lil Cal didn't perma die right there. I don't think this one needs any explanation, since it basically happens in canon.
'You should see the other guy...': Okay, so. About 11 years ago, I had a really great idea. About how smuppets enter this world. I expanded on it in the following more-recent post (adult only content lol): https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/741683686717669376/back-in-the-day-my-friends-called-me-insane-when-i
To sum it up, whenever Bro makes a new smuppet design, he then gives it a video debut on his website, where uh, Lil Cal births the smuppet like it's a horror movie scene, fake blood and poly-fil gore all over the place as the smuppet crawls out from the viscera. Bro then gets to play aftercare by lovingly and gently cleaning up and restuffing Lil Cal as they get to admire their new creation and rake in the dough lol.
So it's technically not a 'you should see the other guy' kinda situation, but it does involve one of them being... idk what word would describe it. Injured by the other? Usually a character loses a fight and says this to act like they got out of it better than the other guy, but... We could have someone knock on the door during the filming of a scene like that, and Bro has to answer it with fake blood up to his elbows, and be like 'You should see the other guy.' (But obviously, that's a terrible idea and would cause more trouble than it's worth... Maybe worth it for a persistent door to door salesperson, though.)
Though, I guess I should also say, I'm not opposed to Bro beating on Lil Cal in or out of the bedroom. Or in the case of animate Lil Cal, Cal choking out Bro. In or out of the bedroom, lol. Depends on the situation, like I said I will ship this ship any which way. But my preference for animate Lil Cal is to be like a totally normal puppet around Bro (or mushy in-love with Bro) and then evil-murder-puppet towards anyone else in Bro's life, like a... toxic yaoi guard puppet. (New Phrase Achievement Unlocked!) Bro brings home another guy to have sex, who tries to stay the night due to the late hour, but the guy wakes up shortly after to see Lil Cal standing there with a knife in the dark, eyes glowing red. Panic ensues when the guest screams and freaks out, and by the time Bro's got a light on, grabbing his sword, ready for a ninja vs ninja fight (bc an intruder would've had to bypass all the traps), Lil Cal is just innocently splayed across the desk chair, no knife in sight. Relevant post (well, the caption on the post too, saying how Bro can't seem to hold onto any relationships besides Lil Cal):
[ https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/741830516962164736/i-want-you-so-youre-mine-always-selfishly ]
Uh, lol, also Cal choking out Bro in the bedroom, adult only drawing: https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/754328907438800896/i-wouldnt-wanna-be-my-ex-when-he-found-out-who
Thinking about them always and forever: Listen. My Tumblr as proof, I've had BroCal on the brain for at least 11 years at this point. Definitely longer, since I first started reading Homestuck. I fucking love puppets and dolls and plushies and I always have. Man, if I hadn't deleted Tweets (automated app I used to do, and I couldn't choose what to save) from when I was in high school, you could've seen me @ ing my fave band when they were taking lyric suggestions on a fan-inspired album, where I was telling them 'make a song where the theme is puppets' and, while I don't know if they saw that or took the suggestion (they had responded to me before bc they weren't huge yet), there is indeed a song titled "Puppets" on that album, and it was my favourite song on there. Point is, I was fated to ship BroCal before I even knew it existed.
Sicko 2 sicko communication: I mean, does this even need explaining? Bro and Cal aren't just on the same wavelength of freaky, they're the fucking source of the wavelength, and it's causing a feedback loop between them. And it does as feedback does, which is, it amplifies with time. (Going back to the spiral symbolism here, lol.) ((Actually, time can play a symbol here, too, I guess, but idk how to word it, I'm starting to run out of steam.))
Let them have a happy ending: God, I need this so badly. I know Bro's story ends in Homestuck, but like. Pls. Someone needs to officiate their wedding. Currently placing the dreambubble order, but I can't organize a wedding by myself. OH speaking of. In that lil comic I did above, where Bro is accepting Lil Cal's proposal, I had the Natural Born Killers wedding scene in mind. I was gonna draw that as a follow up, but I think I have too many WIPs going. Just two people on the run, saying "I do" in a scenic but completely ordinary roadside location. Idk why, I keep going back to that movie for things related to Bro (I mention it in a very important scene in a longer WIP I've been writing, as something Bro watched and internalized as a kid lol.) It's not the best movie lol. Anyway.
The devotion omg: I feel like I have already gotten my point across about this, but let me reiterate:
[ https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/735842968450269184/in-the-name-of-iconic-magical-girl-anime-ill ]
Bro and Lil Cal absolutely beat the shit outta Jack Noir before he gets prototyped. And even then, they fight together till the death, like. C'mon. Nothing more romantic than fighting a losing battle side by side. Also, like, Lil Cal having his own protective chest for safekeeping as seen in the Strider living room? Like, you don't just have a protective case for any old thing, especially something meant to be handled, especially something that is regularly used to smack other things/humans. What I'm saying is, Lil Cal is durable and resilient, and yet, Bro still has a case for transporting Cal safely. Oh, wait, I just thought of something funny, what if Lil Cal goes feral like a cat, and basically the chest is like a cat carrier so Bro can drive without being constricted lmaoooo, I've been typing for hours can you tell?
Kind of homophobic: Listen. I HAD a Cal. Took him to college. Staked my claim on the top bunk bc I am royalty. Proceeded to not have anywhere to set my water cup and had to use a cardboard box as a table up there. Spilled water. Melted Cal's sharpie-drawn face. And then proceeded to cry. I have a WIP of Lil Cal 2, but that requires actually remembering to work on him. I wanna do better by the pattern, too, since I rushed to finish the first. I have all the material! I have the project started! So it's just a matter of reordering my WIP priorities, honestly.
Where is all the fucking content?!: For realzz. I was actually venting about this the other day (didn't end up posting it), but it's like, either there's no BroCal content, or there IS BroCal content, but I can't reblog it for reasons I don't want to get into on this post. I'm dying of thirst in the ocean, basically. Whatever. This just means I need to make more BroCal content myself, which I am more than happy to do. I've just had a rough past few months, so I'm glad I got to type all this post out, and hopefully I can get back to creating soon.
Last one! I hope this one makes up for the absurd length of the post, it's prob my new fave idea I just came up with on the spot.
[TW drink spiking by a stranger mentioned in this.]
Committing atrocities as their silly little activities: I think we all know what this means, but I am going to ignore that elephant with my special x-ray vision. Because this is a BroCal post. I'm digging deep to the meat and bones of this. Honestly, this could go multiple routes, it depends on how you take your Lil Cal.
One could place emphasis on the 'guard' part of the, ahem ahem, toxic yaoi guard puppet. Maybe someone is actually trying to harm Bro, and Bro legit can't do anything for reasons outside of his control - let's say his drink got spiked a while after he invited a stranger home that he thought was chill. As Bro gets shoved down on the futon, his memory of the night is only a few flickers. Familiar orange plush, roiling around above him like a dancing windsock. Flashes of Lil Cal's face all distorted and stretched wide like a funhouse. J-Lo and Ice Cube on the TV. But when Bro is finally able to fully wake up in the morning, everything is as if he just got home alone last night and passed out on the futon. Cal looks totally normal and content tucked under Bro's warm arm. Except when Bro gets up, there is a pair of shoes too big to belong to him at the door. Maybe Bro knows. Maybe instinct tells him to run. Maybe he does, but he's running towards Lil Cal, every time.
#apologies for being entirely unhinged about brocal. this isnt even the half of it#the-meat-machine#asked#praying my internet posts this in one go in the correct format. rip to everyones dashboard if it doesnt#im not turning on my pc to correct it if i cant fix an upload error from mobile#homestuck#brocal#otp5eva#stridercest#long post#Cori.exe#Post.exe#im like staring at my phone scared to hit the post button bc if tumblr has a fit then idk what ill do#and its like okay i could just put my phone down and go to sleep.#but what if tumblr decides to post it AFTER IM ASLEEP AND CLOGS EVERYONE WHOS FOLLOWING ME'S DASH#if that readmore doesnt save where its supposed to... (has happened before)... i am genuinely so fucking sorry.#oh oKAY WAIT compromise. ill save it as a draft first so the bulk of the upload happens privately in case something goes wrong#bc knowing my internet and how i was fighting hyperlinks last night and today that still wont work. something is gonna go wrong#fingers crossed the draft saves tho i dont wanna copy all this shit from the 'in case of emergency' screenshots i took lol#anyway i really need to get ready for bed fuck lol literally took me hours to type this and its not even polished ughh#toxic yaoi guard puppet#omg tho 'lil cal top surgery' idea had me dying when i remembered theres canon cal sewn up like that#i gotta remember to post that separately tmr#i got this post draftes and gna post now. im seeby#oh wait#puppets#suggestive#striders#man if i wish i started w the last point but i dont have the energy to reorder everything#nini im going seep 4r this time
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hmm
#what if i were a 3 dimensional person#as opposed to the 1 dimensional person i currently am#at school i'm a deadpan quiet nobody because. that's just how i've formed myself over the years#how i feel most comfortable i suppose. fading into the background. just another body in a large crowd#i wonder what would have changed it#if i had been more inclined to push myself? more outgoing? maybe if i hadn't been autistic?#or trans? if i could present the way i want to?#i have been entirely divorced from this body and my deadname for a long time#i suppose that's part of why i never feel like a person at school. always a shameful husk walking around trying to hide from everyone#because i truly hate to be seen like this. i hate that people look at this thing and associate it with me#but anyway#dead and flat in real life. my entire existence is online#always filling my mind with fandoms and stories and characters because real life has never interested me#at best it's a miserable slog at worst it's an active nightmare#that's why i have no real passions lmao. no interests that aren't linked to a piece of media#sometimes i wish i were less online. more grounded in reality#but then i look around at my reality and think. no. no i don't think i want to be grounded in this#it's fitting that i'm thinking about this while listening to faye's theme of all things#anthem of being a lonely kid living entirely in his head#i am quite lonely#in need of some genuine human connection but the thought of going deeper than surface level joking around scares me#because there's some real ugly stuff under there. but most of it is a whole lot of nothing#so i stick to ironic insincerity and that seems to work for all of us. we're still friends so that's something#on here i can be sort of different. sometimes over the top gushy with love. using my words much better than i do in person#but that comes from the same place i think#surface level. regardless of how deep the emotions are#and yeah. just felt like saying some things#pigeon coos#delete later#maybe
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it's a little sad that atm the only way that i could possibly go back to being as active and productive of an artist as i once was is to become unemployed...
#the moment i was employed again it took up all my time#there are full grown adults who seemingly make enough time consistently for their fandom art hobbies#but i've found they are typically privileged in some manner#whether they are white collar workers or are in certain job sectors that allow them to goof off while at work#i work at a job where i need to be attentive at said job every second of my shift and can't play on my phone much#and is also physically demanding so i come home exhausted#that on top of i simply do not get vacations/PTO just yet#(they're supposed to give me it... in October. yeah it's BS)#for right now i have not gotten more than about 3 days off in a row since July last year#and usually those 1-3 days between work are spent recovering or catching up on Adult Shit#like errands or social events#i cannot begin to tell you how exhausted i am and how much i need a vacation#but taking one means no income that i desperately need#so fuck me i guess#tw vent#personal#sky sez
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too many hobbies, not enough time 😭
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i hate how replayed it is and how it associates sm w tiktok trends
but billie’s ‘What Was I Made For?’ feels like the sad anthem for people who enter adulthood with mental illnesses or who are neurodivergent, came out late and missed a whole childhood and teen experience of knowing who they are, or who have no idea what to do or who they are bc we are pressured to know at 18 but not everyone knows that shit and now you’re lost…
#it’s just so…#empty in adulthood#and i didn’t used to feel so empty#and everything is so hard and heavy and scary on top of it all too#bc the future looks so unknown and scary with how bad the economy and all is#it’s like#why tf am i here#what am i supposed to be here doing?#struggling and exhausted all the time???#working til the grave to barely afford living life??#like no#that’s not what i’m here for#but it’s what i’m being forced into#and it’s not who i am#but its how to survive i guess#vent
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Good lord when I stop having a schedule structured by external forces the workaholism creeps back in
If you see me work on comms on a weekend make like sailors encountering sirens and tie me to a mast pole or something
#vena vents#What I'm learning is being able to clock out and be done is in fact good for me#The last time I was exclusively doing comms it was a problem then too and that was on top of being a full time undergrad student#I also injured my entire arm from how much and long I was drawing daily#not art#The brain fog doesn't help me remember I am NOT supposed to be working today
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I can't hear you, I'm too busy thinking about Izzy Hands shirtless and cutting the flames off candles with a sword.
#how am i supposed to work in these conditions#the conditions being me unhinged and turned on#this is just the first thought off the top of my head#don't worry chickens i've got many more where that came from#ofmd s2 trailer#ofmd
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Battling the urge to ignore my responsibilities and just hatch pokemon all day
#don't feel like writing. don't feel like working.#but hatching some silly eggs? that i think i can do....#I've been trying to get this shiny alolan vulpix for Hachi for fucking ever#I've hatched two shiny nikolai since the start of my endeavor#if only all shiny hunts could happen as easily as mareep did....#the fourth egg. how am i supposed to top that.
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