#how awesome would it have been if there had been crow

[biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer]

since we agreed to be wingmen, may i please request some relationship HCs for my pretty boy, Sol? thank you, ILY ♡ i really appreciate you!!

Insatiable (Sol x MC/Reader - Relationship HCs)

Anon, I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it. <33

I'm feeding you all well tonight. >:]

TW: Couple mentions of being railed but that's about it.

- Signed by biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer

Insatiable: incapable of being satisfied : quenchless. had an insatiable desire for wealth.

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Sol had dreamed of being with you for years.

So when, after spending a long time cultivating the perfect words and personality, he would strike.

When you sat on his lap in the library, he was taking his all to not get rock-hard right then and there. Frankly, he was on the verge of fainting from how flushed he felt.

He can't wait for when he can have you on him every day and not just on his lap.

Over the course of him slowly developing a friendship with you, along with sabotaging Crowe behind the scenes, he learns everything about you. He doesn't have to rummage through old files or photos, he has you! In the flesh!

And he will use all that info to his advantage.

Gets you gifts all the time, small things he claims to have 'reminded him of you'.

Eventually asks you out after he takes you to a place with your favourite food.

You oblige, of course. How can you not? He's a delusional maniac who needs emerge- been an awesome friend to you! Plus he's hot.

When in a relationship with you, he is probably gonna show up at your residence (with permission this time!!!).

Will help you study whenever you ask for it and is actually excellent at teaching things to you.

Alas some of you choose to do other forms of exploring during that time smh

Will hold your hand if you allow it (he refuses to do anyth- a lot of things without your consent) iykyk

When in private? This man is all over and sometimes even inside you.

He's nibbling, suckling, caressing, biting, holding, hugging, kissing, railing you as much as possible.

With consent, of course.

He'd never do anything while you were, say, asleep. That'd be so naughty of him.

And he's a good boy for you, is he not?

He'll bark for you.

Sol will also cook for you. You don't have a choice, he wants to do this for you (he's good at it as well). Although...you do sometimes get weirdly sleepy after dinner.

If you get harassed by someone? They're going fucking missing.

If someone hits on you? Dead.

Someone hits you? Tortured, dead, mutilated.

Sol's a petty guy.

But is it so wrong to want his angel all to himself?

Due to the fact he's huge that's what she said and strong af, he def is the type to pick you up and take you places if you're too lazy or sore to walk, or to get something off of a high shelf.

Is 110% made for domesticity, this guy will do all the housework, also gives 'Acts of Service' vibes. (Yes I know he's all 5 but so what)

He also blushes really easily, so teasing him is an awesome form of entertainment...just. Try not to do it on the day before an event or school day.

Will bury his face into yours as much as he can, your scent calms him down.

Also will sleep however and wherever you want, he was born to be yours and to oblige every word that comes out of your gorgeous little mouth. <333

[austinsastrology8991]

> Ascendant Aspects < How you Appear to be, and how your treated based off your appearances > why you look like a clown without makeup

Ascendant aspecting Sun - I like your smile. Did you put it on for me, or for yourself? yes your charismatic, yes we noticed why your so confident, yes your literally the greatest person do you really need us to shower you in affection all the fkn time? your extra but too many toppings ruin a good pizza. your the embodiment of the cheesy smile from that cat in alice in wonderland. main character energy for sure you get the attention and you know how to use it Ascendant Aspecting moon - 🌚 < dont they look like that.? idk but you guys look like someone you want to grab the cheeks of and treat like a baby, your like a sugar glider. but we know your emotional so we have to be careful with how we grab your cheeks 👀 please stop crying its just a joke > also; big ass eyes. you are so sweet that everyone just wants to take you home and feed you till you become so obese you cant leave Ascendant Aspecting Mercury - the most devilish and cheeky smile all at once. they look like a kid about to do something bad, or have just been caught doing something bad and are now trying to explain why they had to do that dumbassery. but no matter how much you explain yourself, we will still question you because its funny watching you come up with explanations. you give me the vibe of any character from cartoon network or nickledoen - timmy turner, southpark, phineas and ferb, ed edd and eddy, or fkn bart simpson, you act like a cartoon yes.

Ascendant Aspecting Venus - I dont normally do this but whats ur number? is what your used to hearing presumably. and its not necessarily because your attractive... okay you are, you can stop pouting now. but its because you know how to get attention and you clearly love getting it. but they act so superficial, and oblivious sometimes... like they purposrfully look away just so its easier for you to look at them, 💀 then they look back playfully and it gets you in the feels. remind me of doctor who's bitches (any of them) they all act the same idc what you say

Ascendant Aspecting Mars - so pissed off lol but its hot. they are fierce > if they want something they are going to get it, and even the mere consideration of negotiating what they want will just get them more mad. which makes them more attractive? idk people love their ferocity, and as much as people say they don't like aggressive types, they don't ever get in their way when they pissed off (ik because im hot head) your basically a hornet > and no one gonna fight a hornet without the proper precautions Ascendant aspecting Jupiter - Yall are excellent at impressions and being impressionable, idk how you do it so well. You just act normal but then pull off this funny shit and return back to normal like its nothing. you guys perfected just being, and this energy makes people want to be around you. Your like a firework, the explosion is awesome, but when it goes away your like damn that was awesome wish it stayed; but thats what makes it so good, because we never know when its coming, and when its gone we want it back lol Ascendant Aspecting Saturn - batman without the mask sucks. thats you. batman without the mask.... why so serious???? > "because life shouldnt be taking for granted and fuckery aint apart of my Repertoire" - is some whack ass shit yall would say. you have great dignity, but people get insecure around you because your on top of your shit. oh and you tell people to get on top of their shit all the fkn time lol. > your like a crow, you look like one and act like one. - Side note- one time i had a stand off with a crow: I was chilling at home and i was on top of these tile blocks, then this crow came along. I tried to scare him, by like staunching him just a bit. but he responded by gripping the tree branch he was perched on, by twisting his claw foot; and he did it with so much ferocity it made this bone cracking noise (from the strength of his grip gripping the tree) and suddenly i was intimated.... by a fkn crow. okay moving on

Ascendant Aspecting Uranus - how did you even become like that. no one really understands why you act the way you do, you do some really eccentric things which are eye grabbing but also disturbing the more you think about it. your like a sword fish. theres probably more effective ways to kill fish, but i mean a sword works, we are just wondering how you attached a sword to your face. also try to calm down, you doing so much and acting so bizarre that im actually more worried about you, even though im laughing my ass off. Ascendant Aspecting Neptune - your like a mirror of all that i ever could want in a person, and this mysterious allure you so easily pull off is truly enchanting. its like being around you makes it feel as if reality can so easily be readjusted into what i would like it to be. but this quality of urs is addicting, and no wonder people project onto you. but you cant even blame them, you literally shapeshift into whatever you want, and typically you like to show it off. your like a chameleon. or a axolotl Ascendant Aspecting Pluto - you scare people easily lol. your a spider. but spiders are sexy.... look at the BUNDA. okay but those teeth yeesh, have you ever seen a spider like lick its lips, bro its fkn scary. theres a reason arachnophobia is the most popular phobia and its because spiders are fucked. and yall are fucked. you move like a spider, and i swear to god you smile like one too lol. but people low key wanna be eaten by a spider..... so go ahead choose yo prey you fkn creepy crawler

[ineedhaikyu]

Chapter Two

Summary: Inarizaki vs Karasuno. Foxes vs Crows. A match between two powerhouses competing for the next slot in Nationals and while tensions were high, Karasuno’s ace couldn’t help but look forward to the upcoming match. Or rather he was looking forward to seeing her.

Word Count: 8.9K

Warnings: A long fic with a huge amount of fluff! Once again Asahi's anxiety will be mentioned. Conversations are prolonged between reader and Asahi in order to establish a well-meaning relationship. Brief description of reader's hair.

A/N: PART 2 to Glass-Hearted Ace!! A lot of people wanted a continuation so here it is!! I had so much fun writing this because I absolutely love the adorable craziness that goes on in Haikyu as well as spreading more love to our gentle giant. Let's keep spreading our Asahi love!!

~

3rd POV

Day 2 of Nationals. The second round has already begun with the first match of the day. It wouldn't be long for the next match to start. Karasuno vs Inarizaki. The atmosphere was filled with the same energy of anticipation and eagerness just as it was the other day though multiplied by a hundred.

As this was her third and final year in participating in the Spring Tournament, (L/N) (Y/N) felt confident enough to say she was calm and collected. (Y/N) smiled to herself when she compared her younger first-year self to now. Back then, she was such a nervous wreck. Always getting lost on her way to the restroom or the time she followed the wrong team to the WRONG gym. (It wasn’t her fault that the team wore the same maroon jackets. Good thing that happened in her first year otherwise Suna and the Miya twins would never live it down.)

(Y/N) shook those thoughts away and continued her way to the gym where her team was preparing for their match. She was only gone for a few minutes as she had to fill up the water bottles, but knowing the second-years (Y/N) knew it was only a matter of time before something happened. Luckily, the Karasuno volleyball team hadn't arrived yet when she left but perhaps they have already.

The familiar warm feeling returned at the thought of seeing Karasuno’s team. More specifically the team’s ace. Azumane Asahi. The same guy that caught her eye when he played volleyball. The same guy she met yesterday who saved her from getting hurt. The same guy that made her believe in the lyrics of all those love songs.

(Y/N) wanted to say she was a good judge of character and she had a good feeling about Asahi.

A sweet guy, every bit of a gentleman. Very cute too. Every time his soft brown eyes met with hers, she swore it reminded her of a cute puppy. His smile didn’t bring a few butterflies in her stomach… No. They brought a swarm. Each flap of their metaphorical wings gave her the shivers but the grin on her lips never left when she was with him. Even his hair played a part of her enchantment on him. It’s not often to see guys with long hair, but Asahi pulled it off amazingly well especially when he has it in a man bun. Despite his tough guy appearance, Asahi was a gentle giant with a glass heart. In the little time she knew him, (Y/N) hoped she was able to help him realize his self-worth.

God. It hasn’t been 24 hours and not once has Asahi left her mind. They texted each other last night for almost two hours. The conversation between them flowed so easily. Just like before, (Y/N) enjoyed talking to him. Not once had he made her uncomfortable. Quite the opposite actually.

The next morning she woke up early enough to do research on Karasuno’s team. While Inarizaki’s motto was: we don’t need the memories, (Y/N) couldn’t help but see how Karasuno was like from their past matches. They’re different from any other teams they’ve competed against. Besides, it was nice matching names with faces. Luckily, someone made ‘I’m Awesome’ videos of Karasuno’s starting lineup. She’ll admit whoever made these videos was good as they depicted amazing receives to jaw-dropping spikes.

She recognized Daichi, Suga, and Asahi immediately. Their libero, Nishinoya Yū, looked high caliber and so was their setter. She’ll keep her opinions to herself on Kageyama; she didn’t need Atsumu hearing her say that. They’ll have to keep a lookout on Karasuno’s #10, Hinata Shoyo. He’s on the short side considering he’s a middle blocker but judging by the video, the first-year is full of surprises.

Then again, the Inarizaki volleyball team has a few tricks up their sleeves too.

“Ah. Look, it's her!”

“(Y/N)- senpai!”

“Over here!”

The said manager snapped back to reality and was confronted by the usual crowd of fans in front of her. Inarizaki always show their pride with each event but with volleyball, they took it to another level. Then it doubled with the arrival of the Miya twins. Their popularity soared to new heights and as a result the marching band, cheerleaders, and several students took part in Nationals. Both a blessing and a curse.

The curse part? Well, as much as she loved her school’s support, the fangirls… Well…

“(Y/N)-senpai! Can you give this to Atsumu?!”

“Oh, please give these chocolates to Osamu! I made them last night!”

“(Y/N), is there any way I can get a picture with Suna? Please!”

Yeah… This was pretty much the usual for her but this time it was going too far. Girls ranging from first-years to third-years were blocking the entrance to the gym. She recognized some as fellow classmates but others she was almost positive they came from other schools. And they were all trying to catch a glimpse of their favorite player.

Despite the hectic scene in front of her, there were two girls that caught her attention.

One of them looked the same age as her with beautiful black hair that reached her shoulders and fair skin complexion except for the beauty mark underneath her lower lip. Her gray eyes seemed to sparkle behind her thin framed glasses. The other girl looked visibly younger with her petite frame and blonde hair that was styled with a star hair clip. Right away (Y/N) knew that the girl was a first-year. She could see the way the girl was trembling at the sight of the crowd.

They didn’t look like they were a part of the crowd, but they did look troubled. That’s when she noticed they were carrying water bottle carriers just like her. They must be the Karasuno team’s managers. In the spirit of good sportsmanship, (Y/N) decided to go talk to them.

The older girl noticed her first. She stepped in front of the blonde girl as if shielding her. (Y/N) didn’t let that get to her. Instead, she smiled and introduced herself.

“Hi. I’m (L/N) (Y/N). I’m the manager for the Inarizaki team. Are you two the managers for Karasuno?”

The two girls glanced at one another before nodding in unison.

“My name is Shimizu Kiyoko. Third-year.”

“I-I’m Y-Yachi H-Hitoka! F-First-year m-manager! I-It’s very n-nice t-to m-meet y-you!”

“Hey, there. No need to be scared of me. I’m just a manager, just like you.” (Y/N) tried her best to console the first-year’s anxious nature. It was almost like deja-vu with Asahi. “Are you excited for today?”

Kiyoko nodded, finally feeling at ease with her. “The team has worked hard to get to this point.”

“I couldn’t sleep last night because I was so nervous!” Hitoka added while trying to fan herself in order to cool down her face. “But the team is excited to play against the team that placed second place in the last Interhigh!”

(Y/N) raised an eyebrow. “You’ve done your research. I’m impressed. But don’t worry, we still have some tricks under our sleeves. We know we’re up against a great team.”

The Karasuno managers felt the same warm feeling coursing underneath their skin at the compliment.

“Does that mean you’ve done research on our team?” Kiyoko asked.

(Y/N) nodded. “Of course. I like to be prepared.” Her cheeks began to warm up when she thought of Karasuno’s ace. “You two have impressive players on the team. Are they in the gym?”

“Yes. They’re practicing right now. We went to get some water for the match when this happened.” Kiyoko gestured to the sea of girls in front of them.

“We tried to get through but they’re scary!” Hitoka was practically shaking in her shoes. “The first match is already playing their second set.”

“Man! I swear time flies around here. Come on, I’ll help you through.” (Y/N) gestured to the girls to follow her. “We can’t let our teams forget us.”

“Are you sure?” Kiyoko asked her. “We can find another way.”

(Y/N) shook her head and gave them a carefree grin. “This is the best way into the gym. Trust me, I’ll get us in there.”

“W-Why a-are you h-helping us?” Hitoka stuttered out. “A-Aren’t you scared of them?”

“Well us managers have to stick together, right? And trust me, after dealing with the Miya twins for a year, these girls don’t scare me.”

Taking her word for it, the pair of Karasuno managers followed her. As expected the crowd of girls showed no sign of parting, in fact, it has grown in number. Kiyoko and Hitoka were waiting for (Y/N) to politely ask the girls to move aside, like they did before, but the Inarizaki manager did something quite unexpected.

(Y/N) looked over her shoulder and smiled, “Cover your ears.”

The girls obeyed. Lucky for them. Unlucky for the fangirls.

Because (Y/N) let out the loudest whistle anyone had ever heard. A series of groans and shrieks were heard from the fangirls. Then they all had turned to face the managers.

“(Y/N)-senpai? What was that for?!” One of the fangirls that she recognized as an underclassman.

“Oh, come on guys. I warned everyone last time this would happen.” The manager told them, not an ounce of fear in her voice as she addressed the crowd.

“B-But we just want to see the twins practice!” A girl holding a hand fan with the words ‘Miya Twins’ on it. “We aren’t doing anything wrong.”

“The boys need to warm up. You’ll see them on the court. Do yourselves a favor and find good seats to watch and cheer from.”

“Aww but (Y/N)!” They complained.

“You guys know the rules. Now, please, let me and my friends,” She stepped aside to reveal her new manager friends, “get into the gym. We need to do our jobs as managers. Don’t make me tell Kita-san and have him ban all of you from watching practice matches in the future.”

At the mention of the serious captain and under the threat of closed practices, the fangirls dispersed quickly. Some had the sense to apologize and others wished them good fortune on the upcoming match.

“W-Wow.” Hitoka said in awe. “You knew exactly what to do. That’s amazing.”

Kiyoko agreed before asking, “Does this happen a lot?”

(Y/N) let out an embarrassed chuckle. “Yeah… They’re big fans of the team and they mean well but sometimes their excitement can take it too far. As Inarizaki’s manager, sometimes I feel responsible for their behavior.” She bowed her head and continued on. “I apologize on their behalf for any trouble they may have caused you two.”

The youngest manager out of the three was speechless at the older girl’s sincere words in her apology. They’ve only known the Inarizaki manager for like ten minutes but she proved herself to them that she’s a kindhearted yet self-assured person. One look at her senpai and Yachi knew that they were thinking the same thing.

What Yachi didn’t know, Shimizu was smiling for a different reason. Yesterday, she accidentally overheard her fellow third-years talking. She didn’t mean to listen in and she was about to leave when the topic of the conversation caught her attention. Apparently, a girl caught her friend Asahi’s eye. A girl from the Inarizaki team that, according to Suga, sounded like the perfect girl for her anxious friend. So when the girl’s name came up, (Y/N), Shimizu wanted to see for herself what the girl was like.

Now that she has, Shimizu can see how and why Asahi would fall for her.

“Don’t apologize,” Kiyoko finally spoke up and offered the girl a kind smile. “Sometimes, these things happen.”

“You sure? I mean, this might happen again when we have to go into the main gym. There are some fans of the Miya twins that can be a bit… Fierce. If you want, I can help out. It’s no trouble at all.”

Kiyoko shook her head. “It’s okay, (Y/N). We can handle it. Right, Hitoka-chan?”

The first-year nodded eagerly. “Yeah! We’ll be okay. The guys on our team can be scary too. Ah! I need to tell the team that the first match is already in the second set. It was very nice to meet you!”

The third-year managers watched in amusement as she scurried into the gym. (Y/N) smiled before facing Kiyoko. She offered her hand for a handshake and said, “I know it’s customary for players to shake hands before and after the match, but I do it too with the managers. Let’s have a good game.”

Kiyoko took her hand and squeezed. “May the best team win. No hard feelings, right?”

(Y/N) laughed and nodded. “I like you, Shimizu, but yeah, no hard feelings at all.”

“Please call me Kiyoko.”

~Meanwhile inside the gym, ten minutes earlier~

‘Where is she?’ Asahi thought as his eyes searched the other side of the court. ‘Is she hiding from me? Did he say something that scared her away? What if he creeped her out last night when they texted each other?’

“Yo Asahi!” Suga’s energetic voice scared him back to reality. “Are you looking for someone?”

He didn’t miss his friend’s teasing tone that laced his words nor the way his eyes shined in amusement. Leave it to Suga to tease the hell out of him. Last night, for example, was too much. Even after he told his friends about his time with the Inarizaki manager, Suga still wanted to know everything, down to the last detail. Luckily, Daichi took pity on him and reeled Suga back on a somewhat normal level of interrogation.

But that didn’t mean he was going to drop the subject completely.

“I can’t find (Y/N).” He admitted to his friend. “Have you seen her?”

“Hmm. Not yet. But I wouldn’t worry too much. Her team’s here so I’m sure she’s somewhere around here. She’s their manager after all.” Suga clapped his shoulder. “But if you really want to know where (Y/N) is, why don’t you go ask her teammates?”

Suga pointed to the nearby Inarizaki members that were practicing their spikes. He recognized the Miya twins and Inarizaki’s ace, Ojiro Aran. And while he saw how they played from previous matches last night, it didn’t ease the anxiety clawing its way around his heart. It also didn’t help when one of the wing spikers turned the set into a powerful spike. The impact of the ball being slammed to the floor echoed throughout the gym.

Just the very action scared Suga’s suggestion out the window. There was no way he was going over there and ask about their manager! If they were anything like Tanaka or Nishinoya, then he’ll be ripped to shreds.

“N-No way!” He stuttered out a reply and waved his hands in front of him. The slight blush on his face was becoming more visible by each second. “But I’m worried. What if something happened to her?”

“Her who?” Daichi asked as he came up from behind them. “What’s going on?”

Suga answered before he could. “Well, our dear old ace here, is worried that his crush is somewhere out there dying without him knowing. And he’s too scared to ask her friends where she is.”

Karasuno’s captain chuckled and patted Asahi on the back. “Quit worrying. I know you saved her yesterday, but this isn’t a little girl you’re talking about. She can hold her own. After all, this isn’t her first time here in Nationals.”

“See, Asahi?” Suga, clearly amused by this whole conversation, told him. “There’s nothing to worry about. I wouldn’t be surprised if she walked through those gym doors right now.”

He pointed to the entrance and they followed it only to see a swarm of girls trying to catch a glimpse inside the gym.

“You mean those doors?” He asked his friend. “They look ready to burst in here.”

“Who are they?” Daichi asking the question everyone was wondering.

“Judging by the hand fans, I think they’re fans of the Miya twins. They must be really popular to have this many. That’s annoying.” Suga muttered the last part with a pout.

“Can anyone get through?” Asahi wondered as he avoided eye contact with the girls. Something about them unnerved him somehow even if they wore bright smiles and loud cheers. “They look vicious.”

“They’re fans, not witches.” Daichi stated. “I’m sure they’re nice. After all, they're showing their support to their team.”

“Let it go, Daichi. Asahi is only like this because he misses his dream girl.” Suga jested. “He’s going into withdrawal.”

“I was just hoping to see her. She texted me-”

“Woah! Woah! Texted?! When did this happen?” asked Suga, his eyes wide with this new information. “You’re at the texting-each-other stage?!”

“Was that who you were texting last night?” Daichi asked him.

“What?!” Suga exclaimed. “Daichi, why didn’t you tell me?”

“You were asleep and I was tired.” The captain defended. “And it isn’t my business who Asahi texts. He’s old enough to make his own decisions… That being said, what did you guys talk about?”

“You didn’t tell her our secret weapons, did you?” Suga whispered his question, referring to all the tricks they perfected in the past few months.

“(Y/N) isn’t like that, Suga. She didn’t squeeze any information out of me. We picked up where we left off and talked about normal stuff. We thought it was better than to talk about the match between our schools.”

“And what did you guys text about?” The vice captain pressed, eager to know more.

For some reason, Asahi couldn’t help but recall how he initiated the conversation with the pretty manager from Inarizaki. Actually it was more like he couldn’t believe he was texting with (Y/N) last night. It felt unreal, like a dream. After reading her note, he remembered how hard his heart was beating and how warm his cheeks grew.

Ever since she mentioned it in her note, admitting how he made her nervous, Asahi took some comfort that he can do the same to her and vice versa.

Though, she did prove herself to be bravely spontaneous when she wrote the note and after texting with her last night, he hoped he could do the same. One of his many concerns since starting high school was that girls in his class were always disappointed after finding out his timid personality didn’t match his physical appearance. He’ll never forget the time when one of the girls called him a wuss. It was years ago but the girl’s remark was like a stab wound in the back. It healed over time but it still made its mark on his self-image.

Luckily, (Y/N) wasn’t like any of the girls in his class. She’s so kind when she bought him a shirt as a gift. She’s so understanding when she patiently listened to his problems. She showed compassion when she offered some advice to help ease the anxiety that almost suffocated him. Then there was that beautiful confidence she had in herself. He liked that about her and while he just met (Y/N) yesterday, he wanted to prove to her that he can be confident too.

That’s why he’s been looking for her. He wanted to be the first to greet her. It might not seem like a big deal to others, but it was to him.

‘Baby steps,’ He thought when he was second-guessing himself. ‘What was that saying? Rome wasn’t built in a day. Well, that applies here too. Bit by bit, confidence will grow.’

“Asahi? Earth to ace?”

“Huh?”

“You zoned out there for a second.” A smirk appeared on Suga’s face. “Must be quite a conversation you had with her. Wouldn’t you say Daichi?”

It was always nerve-wracking to have both Daichi and Suga tease him. So it wouldn’t be a surprise if the captain joined in on the teasing. But to his surprise, Daichi clapped him on the back causing him to huff a bit under his breath.

“Well, I think (Y/N) is the kind of girl that can make our dear ace invincible. Make sure to show what you’re made of during this match.”

“Yeah!” Suga encouraged, his hand clapping the ace’s free shoulder. “Let her see how awesome you are on the court.”

“No pressure or anything.” Daichi added, his smile matching Suga’s teasing grin.

“None at all!” Suga piped in. “Just remember she’ll be watching you when it’s your turn to serve. Don’t mess up!”

“You guys aren’t helping!” He yelled at his friends. His face burned in embarrassment.

Daichi and Suga laughed but before anyone could say another word that could cause further humiliation for the ace, Asahi’s saving grace came in the form of their first-year manager running into the gym. He thanked whatever deity who was watching over this episode that spared him from further teasing from his friends.

“The first match is in the middle of their second set.” Hitoka informed them.

Daichi nodded and clapped his hands together. In a loud voice, he announced, “Alright, guys. Let’s get into our uniforms.”

Following the captain's orders, Asahi grabbed his alternate orange jersey and placed it over a nearby chair. He looked across the gym and saw the Inarizaki players putting on their uniforms as well. Still no sign of (Y/N).

“Hitoka-chan, wasn’t Shimizu with you?” Suga asked.

The first-year nodded. “We made a new friend just now. She helped us out when we couldn’t get into the gym. I think she’s still talking to her by the doors.”

Asahi tuned out their conversation as he took off his shirt. In his head, he had to concentrate on calming down his nerves. The scariest moments of his life played like an endless nightmare. Like the time when he was a kid and he had to show his parents the bad grade on his report card. Or the time he wanted to pet the neighbor’s puppy but ended up getting chased by the puppy’s mother. Or how Date Tech’s iron wall blocked every single spike; shaking him to the core so much that he temporarily stopped playing volleyball.

The whirlpool of anxiety and dread arrived on schedule in his stomach. Was it getting harder to breathe? Was the air getting warmer? Or was he getting colder? Yeah, no. He was definitely getting colder. His hands felt like a block of ice. Was he this nervous during the Shiratorizawa match? Probably. He made a mental note to trace 人 on his hand, hoping it was enough to settle down his nerves.

He threw his jersey on and was just about to fix his loose hair strands when he heard a familiar laugh coming from the entrance. He looked up to see Kiyoko laughing along with another girl. It was only a glance, a quick one, when he did a double take. He couldn’t believe it.

(L/N) (Y/N), the girl that caused his brain cells to go on a roller coaster ride, was standing there in all her beauty.

She was having a conversation with Kiyoko and by the looks of it, she must have said something funny because it made his usual shy and quiet manager laugh a little. Now he was 100% convinced that (Y/N) had a natural aura that eased people on friendly terms if she was able to hold an amiable conversation with Kiyoko.

Not to mention her smile that complimented her eyes that seemed to shine in excitement. Or how her hair was styled a bit different from yesterday. This time her hair was pinned back from her face with two small side braids connected together where it fell in rhythm with the rest of her hair. It looked cute on her, lovely even. Should he mention that to her or would that be too weird?

SLAP!

“Ow!” Asahi turned around to find the culprit who slapped the (for lack of a better word) living shit onto his back. Nishinoya didn’t have an ounce of shame or regret in his eyes. Quite the opposite actually as the libero was smiling ear to ear. “Nishinoya? What was that for?”

With no remorse, the second-year player ignored the question and asked several of his own. “That’s her, right? The Inarizaki manager? The one who’s talking to Kiyoko-san? The girl you like?”

He could feel his ears begin to burn. “H-How did you know?”

“That’s not important.”

Asahi begged to differ as he thought it made a world of difference now that Nishinoya knows about his crush.

With his arms crossed in front of his chest, the libero continued, “What are you doing standing here? Go over there and talk to her! Be a man!”

“I-It’s not that simple. I need to build myself up before I talk to her. And then I need to think of a topic that we can talk about. Then what type of questions I should ask-”

“Oh come on Asahi! You have to stop acting like a cowardly wimp. Man up and go! She’s right there!”

“J-Just give me a second and I will.”

Nishinoya was just about to retort back when he realized something. This was the first time Asahi was nervous, visibly and mentally, for a girl. Well, scratch that. Asahi was always nervous around girls but this was the first time he seemed to actively try to impress someone. Like the way he repeatedly made sure his jersey was tucked in, double-knotted his shoelaces, and double-checked his hair was safely tied in his usual bun.

So he did what any good friend would do. “You look great, Asahi.”

With a glimmer of hope in his eyes, the ace stood up straight. “You think so?”

“Personally, I don’t care about what other people think about my looks.”

Asahi physically deflated at those words. If only he could borrow some of his friend’s confidence.

“But then again I’m awesome.”

The ace couldn’t argue with that one. But before he could wallow in a pool of anxiety and dread, the libero’s next words saved him from drowning. Along with a strong slap on the shoulder that could echo throughout the gym.

“You’re awesome too. You’re the ace of our team. Take pride in that.”

Asahi took his friend’s words to heart as he stood up a bit straighter. He glanced up to look at (Y/N) who looked breathtaking while wearing her maroon Inarizaki jacket. If only she wore a black Karasuno jacket… He could just imagine the alternate dimension where she could have been a classmate, a close friend, or even something more.

“I… I don’t want to mess this up, Noya.”

Concerned, Nishinoya asked, “How would you mess up?”

“I don’t know! Anything could happen. With my luck, I could trip over myself in front of her. I want to be confident and go over to her and say hi-””

“Alright. Then let’s go.”

Asahi’s mind froze. “What?”

“You heard me. Let’s do what you said and walk up to your girlfriend-”

“She’s not my girlfriend!”

Nishinoya rolled his eyes but the grin on his face showed no sign of leaving. “Fine. The girl you wish to be your girlfriend. We’ll go together. You’ll say hi and introduce me to her because I want to know what kind of girl makes you act this way.”

Asahi could feel his face turning red. “Okay, let’s go. But please don’t say anything embarrassing. Daichi and Suga did enough of that yesterday.”

His friend laughed loudly before slapping his shoulder. “You really need to grow a backbone off the court, especially if you want to impress your crush. But don’t worry, I have your back.”

~

(Y/N) felt as if she met her long-lost sister through Karasuno’s manager. Kiyoko definitely could relate to the ups and downs that comes with managing a group of boys (especially rowdy second-years). But she admired her commitment. Being a third-year, specifically attending Nationals, it was their last chance to help their respective team to make it to the top.

“So, how are you feeling about being here?” She asked as they sat down on a nearby bench. They still had time before the ongoing match ended. Why not take the opportunity and spend time with her new friend?

“It’s unreal. Sometimes it feels like a dream. A lot of people doubted us since we were a forgotten powerhouse. We were devastated when we lost in the third round of the Interhigh to Aoba Johsai. Our only chance to get to Nationals was to win all our matches.”

“Woah, I can only imagine the pressure your team had on their shoulders. More so on the third-years.” She took a chance to look for Asahi. Her eyes automatically found him and she couldn’t help but smile. It looked like he was having a conversation with the libero. “How did you guys manage all that?”

Kiyoko shrugged her shoulders but she had a faint smile before answering, “It was rough. But we didn’t want to give up on volleyball. Not when there was a chance to make it here. It was a risk. Our advisor warned us third-years to take our future into account before we made our decision.”

“And now you guys are here! I have to give you and your team respect, Kiyoko.”

Kiyoko laughed as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Thanks. It’s been a journey and we’re ready to play against the best.”

“Trust me the feeling is mutual.”

“Speaking of feelings,” Kiyoko began with a teasing tone. “I’ve heard there’s a guy on my team that caught your eye.”

(Y/N) let out a nervous laugh as she looked away. “He told you?”

“Not directly but Daichi and Suga weren’t exactly keeping it down about it. Asahi is usually quiet. But he sounded happy when he talked about you. I think you helped him in more ways than one because I’ve never heard him sound so confident.”

“Really?” She couldn’t help but smile widely. “You're not just saying that, are you?”

Kiyoko shook her head. “I don’t know what you told him but it looks like he took it to heart.”

“I just spoke the truth. He helped me so it’s only fair that I helped him too. He’s a gentle giant that needs a boost in confidence.”

“Do you like him?”

“Well… It’s too soon to tell but I think so. Asahi is not like any other guy I’ve met. I just want a chance to get to know him more and vice versa.”

“So like a date before the actual date?”

“Exactly!” It was like Kiyoko and her were on the same wavelength. “Is that too weird? Or is it stupid? I mean, I just met him yesterday and so far he seems like a great guy but like… I’m nervous. He makes me nervous and… Shoot. I’m sorry for rambling.”

“Hey, it’s reasonable to think and feel that way. Take it from me, Asahi really is a good guy. He can be a scaredy-cat sometimes and can be insecure about a lot of stuff but he really means well.”

“I saw that side of him yesterday. He’s the type to shoulder all the blame, isn’t he?” (Y/N) asked.

Kiyoko nodded. “He’s still our ace and he’s been working harder than ever to prove it.”

(Y/N) remained silent, taking in all the information Kiyoko told her. She looked for Asahi again and smiled when she saw him getting clapped on the shoulder by the libero.

“Does that bother you?” Kiyoko asked, a hint of worry in her voice.

Confused, (Y/N) furrowed her brow before asking, “What do you mean?”

“Does it bother you that Asahi is the ace but he doesn’t have an ace-like presence?”

While Kiyoko hated asking the question she believed it was an important one. Girls can be ruthless. She heard the gossip from other girls and how they talk about Asahi behind his back. Calling him a wimp or how he was a part of a gang. As Asahi’s friend, she felt it was her responsibility to see if the girl he has a crush for is actually genuine in her feelings towards him. Because as much as she enjoyed (Y/N)’s company, Kiyoko will choose to defend Asahi over her.

“Should that be important? If anything, it goes to show how different Asahi is. When I saw him play yesterday, I knew he was an amazing ace but when I talked to him and got to know him… I saw a guy who’s not ashamed to admit his insecurities and who’s not scared to admit his feelings. I respect that. And after what you told me of what you guys have gone through, I know Asahi will show his self-worth on the court and show everyone why he’s the ace. So who cares that he doesn’t have the traditional personality of an ace? I think he’s already brave.”

Kiyoko smiled at her. That was the answer she’s been hoping for and (Y/N) delivered it. Her (E/C) eyes matched the conviction in her voice and Kiyoko loved it. Not to mention, the timing was absolutely perfect and she thanked the gods that (Y/N) didn’t notice the two people behind her.

“(Y-Y/N)-san?”

Oh god. She could feel her heart falling to her stomach when she heard her name in that deep voice that made her feel everything all at once. Her face became warm in seconds and she didn’t dare move an inch. It wasn’t until Kiyoko let out a small cough that brought her from cloud nine back to the gym.

(Y/N) took a moment to center herself before turning around to see Asahi. His chocolate brown eyes met hers and she swore the butterflies from her stomach danced between her ribs.

“A-Asahi-san! Hey!”

She quickly stood up, a bit too fast as she accidentally knocked her team’s water bottles out of the carrier. Embarrassed, (Y/N) fell to her knees and grabbed the nearest bottle.

“S-Sorry about this.” (Y/N) didn’t dare look up as she already embarrassed herself in front of her crush and his friends.

“N-No! Don’t apologize. It was an accident.” Asahi kneeled, grabbing the last bottle before handing it to her. His breath hitched ever so softly when her fingertips touched his hand. It was as if the rest of the gym faded away. Being so close to (Y/N), he saw how her eyes were beautiful as he remembered. He swore it was no trick of the light that her eyes seemed to shine like stars in the night sky.

(Y/N) felt so self-conscious about how close she was to Asahi. She hoped she looked okay in his eyes. Usually she wouldn’t care so much on how she looked, but the idea was thrown out the window when she met Karasuno’s ace. His long hair was once again in a bun but this time it was neatly in place, a perfect bun any woman or man could be jealous of. The small scruff of facial hair on his chin suited him very well, giving him a sort of wild, intimidating appearance.

But she knew better because Asahi was an adorable giant with a large and gentle heart. If she was being honest, his presence was like springtime coming to wash away winter’s snow. His warmth was… Indescribable.

How was it possible for him to be that handsome yet so adorable at the same time?

The moment was interrupted when someone cleared their throat. Loudly. (Y/n) looked up to see the libero, Nishinoya, with a large grin. His eyes were bright with excitement and amusement. She can immediately tell that this guy was the mischievous and energetic type. As they stood up, she could have sworn she saw Asahi blush.

“(Y/N), this is my friend Nishinoya Yū. He’s a second-year and the libero of our team.”

While he maintained a normal composure, Asahi was mentally beating himself up. ‘Why would you say that?! She’s a volleyball manager!! Of course, she knows that Nishinoya is a libero! She has eyes. She can see that he’s wearing a different color jersey! Asahi, you’re such an IDIOT!’

While the ace was mentally berating himself, (Y/N) formally introduced herself to his friend. During her introduction, Nishinoya could only gawk. When he heard from Suga and Daichi about his friend Asahi finally having a lucky break encounter with a girl, he couldn’t be happier for the ace. And it didn’t take a genius to see how hard Asahi fell for her.

“By the way, I’ve watched those ‘I’m Awesome’ videos.” (Y/N) brought up and immediately caught the attention from both boys. “That match with Shiratorizawa when you made a double save against Ushijima was so cool. It was so amazing that I had to replay it like five times. I even showed it to our own libero and he literally took my phone out of my hands.”

Nishinoya beamed. “Really?”

His chest swelled up with pride and the thought of another libero studying his techniques was just the icing on the cake, but to have a pretty girl, like (Y/N), praise his skills… Well that’s the cherry on top. He liked her already.

“And Asahi, you were amazing too. The way you were able to smash through Shiratorizawa’s defenses was unreal!”

The warm and fuzzy feeling from his chest exploded and it was as if all the heat rushed to his face. Asahi was sure his whole face was red. He tried to stammer out a reply but Nishinoya beat him to it.

“I know right!” He slapped Asahi’s shoulder repeatedly. “He went head to head against one of the best aces in the country and helped lead our team to victory. We wouldn’t be here without him.”

“T-That’s not t-true-”

“Of course it is!” Nishinoya looked back at the girl who was chuckling at their interaction. “Ignore that. He’s so humble whenever someone compliments him.”

Her eyes met Asahi’s and gave him a knowing smile. Although this was her second encounter with Karasuno’s ace, (Y/N) noticed the trend of Asahi’s friends building him up and teasing him at the same time. She had to stop herself from laughing at the lack of subtlety amongst them. Still, it was cute to see Asahi this way.

“Well,” (Y/N) began, her hand casually tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Asahi was listening intently. “Then I bet this next compliment is going to be unbearable because I thought you looked great during that match. It makes me wish I was there to see you guys play live.”

Nishinoya grinned. “Don’t worry, (Y/N)-san. You won’t be disappointed with our match. Asahi, here, will make sure of that. Right, Asahi? Oh, did I mention how-”

Kiyoko, who was silently watching the entire interaction, noticed the slight panic in Asahi’s eyes. She knew the libero means well but there were times he can take things a bit too far.

“Nishinoya, can you help carry this for me?”

“Anything for you, Kiyoko-san! I’ll follow you forever!”

Asahi was about to stutter out his friend’s name when he saw Kiyoko give a little head gesture towards (Y/N), subtle enough so she wouldn’t see it.

‘This is your chance, Asahi.’ That was the message she was telling him as Kiyoko led Nishinoya away. ‘Don’t mess up.’

“So, um, (Y/N)? H-How are you? You know, with everything?” Asahi could feel the goosebumps traveling up and down his arms at how cringy he felt.

The dark cloud of self-doubt and worry that plagued Asahi this morning has evaporated into thin air the moment she smiled at him. How was she able to put him at ease like that?

“So far, so good. I'm a bit nervous for today. Not the bad kind of nervous but the excited kind, you know?”

Asahi nodded as he knew exactly the feeling (Y/N) was talking about. He was feeling it right now! “I know that feeling very well. I feel it almost everyday.”

(Y/N) chuckled before replying, “At least, you’re honest, Asahi. Most guys usually lie about their feelings.” She glanced back at her own team where she saw Atsumu arguing with his twin, probably over something stupid.

“Well someone did tell me that it wasn’t a bad thing to express my feelings. I’m just following her good advice.”

The smile she gave him was like no other to know that Asahi was really taking her words to heart. Words can’t describe how happy this made her nor the warm feeling she felt stir in her chest.

“So, are you ready to play against us?” (Y/N) asked the ace in an effort to keep the conversation going. “Because we’ve been looking forward to this match.”

“It’s a bit nerve-racking that we’re playing against the team that placed second in the Inter-High. You have great players on your team.”

(Y/N) waved her hand in dismal with a shake of her head. “Oh don’t let that rattle you, that was yesterday.” Her school’s motto rings true in her words. “Besides, I’ve done my research. Karasuno isn’t like it was before. Your team has cool players too and that includes you. All you can do today is challenge yourself.”

Asahi couldn’t help but smile at her. “You’re just full of good advice, aren’t you?”

She beamed while tossing her hair over her shoulder in a joking manner. “I’d like to think so. But seriously, Asahi,” Her hand gently touched his bicep and Asahi didn’t shrink away. “How are you really feeling?”

“H-Honestly?”

(Y/N) nodded, her eyes looking up to him, patiently waiting for his response.

“I haven’t told anyone so d-don’t make fun of me but… I’m scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“I’m scared of failing. I’m scared to drag the team down. I’m scared to lose the trust my team has in me as the ace. I mean, I’ve watched the Inarizaki clip last night and I can’t help to compare-”

Asahi stopped talking when he felt a pair of warm hands wrap around his cold ones. The blush from before came back in full force. (Y/N)’s hands were small and so soft compared to his yet it was enough to calm his fast beating heart. With her holding his hands, it reminded Asahi of the time when Kiyoko held Suga’s hands during the fifth set of the Shiratorizawa match. He remembered how he, Daichi, Nishinoya, and Tanaka became jealous towards the vice captain. Now he was in Suga’s position and with (Y/N) holding his hands, Asahi understood the feelings Suga went through that day.

“Listen to me, Asahi, what you’re feeling right now… That’s normal, okay? You’re not the first ace to feel this way and even if you are the first that just goes to show how considerate you are to your teammates. I can tell you worked hard and you have skilled, trustworthy teammates. That’s why you’re here in Nationals, remember? You earned your spot on the team as the ace and I understand you carry a burden on your shoulders, but you’re not alone. You have your team with you.”

Asahi opened his mouth but no words came out. It was as if (Y/N) took his ability to talk. He felt enlightened in a way. He was pushed so much in the darkness by his own self-doubt, anxiety, and worry that he almost missed the ray of light that gave him hope.

“You with me, Asahi? I didn’t lose you, did I?” (Y/N) questioned, giving his hands a small squeeze. “Or did I say something wrong?”

“Oh! Sorry! No! I mean- Yes! I mean-”

(Y/N) chuckled. “Breathe, Asahi. There’s no need to be nervous. It’s just me. No one special.”

He shook his head. “That’s not true. At least, not to me.”

She blinked. Then blinked twice. Three times. When she realized that she hadn’t misheard him, she swore those butterflies in her stomach made their way to her chest and danced around her heart. The feeling never went away when he met her eyes. His brown eyes took her breath away while melting her heart at the same time.

Still, she wasn’t expecting Asahi to say that and judging by the obvious blush on his cheeks Asahi wasn’t either. Well, two can play at that game.

“Oh? I’m someone special to you? When we only met yesterday? If I didn’t know better, I would say you’re falling for me.”

Asahi felt his Adam's apple bob up and down. He was used to teasing by his friends and the second-years but never before has he felt like this. Wait a minute… Was this teasing or flirting? He hoped for the latter because he didn’t want it to stop.

“What if I am?” He asked, his confidence growing with every word. “Would it be a bad thing?”

(Y/N) smiled widely. “I… I wouldn’t be opposed to it.”

Asahi felt his heart soar to new heights at this. Any anxiety he had began to slowly fade away. His hands were no longer cold but he wasn’t going to stray away from (Y/N)’s touch.

However, the universe thought differently.

“Hey. Do you mind not holding hands with my manager?”

(Y/N) grunted when she felt a strong arm swing over her shoulders. Even without looking, she could tell who it was. The same person who had no problem starting a confrontation with anyone. Not even his twin brother.

“Atsumu.” She warned, letting go of Asahi’s hands, hoping this action would relieve the tension her setter placed around them.

The blond-haired twin kept the same annoying smirk as he met his manager’s eyes. He knew that look very well as he was always on the receiving end of it.

“What?” He asked innocently. “I’m just looking out for you, (Y/N)-senpai. You’re our precious manager after all. Now, is this guy messing with you?”

(Y/N) sighed, closing her eyes while counting to ten in order to calm down. She could only imagine how this must look.

“He’s not. This is Asahi and he’s my friend. We were just talking before the match began. Asahi, this is Miya Atsumu. He’s the setter-”

“Star setter.” Atsumu interrupted as he shook Asahi’s hand, gripping it hard. “An All-Japan Training Camp setter.”

Confused but feeling bold, Asahi matched the twin’s grip strength. He took a tiny bit of satisfaction when Atsumu grimaced the tiniest bit.

(Y/N) raised her brow at them but shook it off. “Sorry about him. He can be a bit much. Anyways, Atsumu, Asahi is Karasuno’s ace. We watched their match yesterday, remember?”

Atsumu gave him an unimpressed look before shaking his head. “Not really. He must have not made a good impression for me to remember. I don’t remember players who suck-”

He was cut off by (Y/N)’s sharp elbow to his stomach. “What was that for, (Y/N)-san?!”

“That’s for lying!”

“I wasn’t lying!”

“Just yesterday you told me he made a lot of great plays. Not to mention, you praised his service ace.”

Atsumu could feel himself blush a little when his manager caught him in his lie. “I… I don’t remember.” When lying doesn’t work, denying is the second best option.

She rolled her eyes while pushing the setter’s head down, forcing him to bow with her. “Sorry about him. He can be incredibly insensitive at times.”

Atsumu twisted his head to look at his manager, quietly struggling underneath her surprisingly strong grip. “No, I’m not!”

(Y/N) sighed before letting go and ignored the glare Atsumu gave her. Instead, she focused on Karasuno’s ace. “I wish we can talk more, Asahi but I need to get the team ready before the match. But I’m glad we had the chance to catch up.”

“Yeah, me too.” He smiled at her, much to Atsumu’s displeasure. “Can we talk later?”

The manager grinned and was just about to answer when she felt a strong tug on her arm before getting dragged away. “Hey, Atsumu! What the he-”

“You said it yourself.” Atsumu pointed out. “You need to help get the team, our team, ready. Let’s go.”

(Y/N) yanked her hand back and gave Atsumu a glare before he could utter a complaint. “Atsumu, be a dear and take this,” She placed the water bottle carrier in his hands. “I’ll be right behind you.”

“But- I, er, we need you. Remember, there’s that thing… That important thing…” His eyes gestured to his hands.

To anyone who didn’t know the Inarizaki setter very well, it may have sounded like there was something urgent she, as the manager, had to do. But (Y/N) knew Atsumu and she almost wanted to laugh at the desperation in his voice. This happened every single time before a match. It was obvious that Atsumu didn’t want to admit his problem in front of Asahi, who had a confused look on his face.

“The stuff is in my bag, inside the small pocket. Just don’t use too much like last time.”

“Yes!” Atsumu fist-pumped before running back to the rest of the Inarizaki team, forgetting the reason he came over in the first place.

(Y/N) chuckled as she watched her friend dig into her bag before turning back to Asahi. “Again, sorry about that. He can be a bit much. But he does have a point, the match is going to start soon.” She offered up her hand for a shake. “Best of luck to you, Asahi.”

He wasted no time in shaking her hand. “You too. Good luck to your team.”

“And whatever happens, win or lose, we’ll be cool, right?” (Y/N) asked, hoping Asahi wasn’t one of those players that completely shuts down and shuns people when they lose. She really liked him so she hoped that wasn’t the case.

“Of course we will.” Asahi promised. “No matter what happens, we’ll give it our best.”

“Good. See you later, ace.”

With one final encouraging squeeze, (Y/N)’s hand slipped away before making her way towards her team. Asahi seemed frozen to the laminate gym floor as his eyes were fixed on her maroon Inarizaki team. His hand was still in the air where he could still feel her fingertips.

“ASAHI!”

He flinched when he heard Nishinoya yell out his name and he almost fell over when he felt the libero hoist himself to do a handstand on his shoulders. It always amazes him how Nishinoya was able to do that effortlessly.

“H-Hey careful!” Asahi warned him. “And what happened to having my back?”

“You were amazing Asahi-san!” Nishinoya praised, stars in his eyes. “And I did have your back. We all had your back. We were watching the whole thing! You looked so cool talking to the girl you like!”

Was it just him or did that last sentence sound so loud?

“Don’t make it so obvious, Nishinoya.” Suga chuckled.

“Yeah, we don’t need Miya Atsumu to come back over here and scare Asahi again.” Daichi joked. “We had to pull Nishinoya back so he wouldn’t go feral on him.”

“I-I wasn’t scared! He just surprised me.” Asahi defended though he wasn’t going to admit that there was a tiny moment of fear when the Inarizaki setter confronted him. “He’s intense though.”

Kiyoko stepped forward. “You didn’t run away. I think that speaks louder than words.”

Asahi swallowed hard. “You think so?”

“Trust Kiyoko on this, Asahi.” Daichi said. “And trust all of us when we say, don’t give up. I know I give you a hard time with you being a coward and all-”

“Thanks.” He said sarcastically.

“Let me finish.” Daichi laughed. “I was trying to say… (Y/N) brings out the best in you. So keep going. Deal?”

“Deal.”

“Alright, let’s go win!”

“YEAH!!”

~Meanwhile on the other side of the gym~

“You done flirting with the enemy?”

“Does that bother you, Suna?” (Y/N) countered as she checked her bag, looking to see if Atsumu used all her hand lotion. (He’s always complaining about his fingertips being dry.) “I thought that’s what you guys wanted? For me to find someone?”

“At least give us a warning. Atsumu said it was that scary samurai-looking guy.”

“Atsumu’s dramatic.”

“Am not!”

Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

“He literally was squeezing my hand off! Trying to ruin my perfect setter hands!” The blond complained. “I call sabotage!”

“Maybe you’re just that weak, ‘Tsumu.”

“Shut up, ‘Samu!”

“So,” Suna interrupted before the twins could start another infinite argument. “You like this Azumane guy?”

“Is he Lucky Schmuck #1?” Osamu followed up.

“Or Unlucky Schmuck #6?” Atsumu mumbled with his arms crossed.

“I think… He’s the one.”

~

Next: Chapter 3

[sillygoofyqueer]

Even more thoughts, for you to post if you so choose!

I do love the idea of Shen Yuan having a fancy hair piece with a pin that doubles as a weapon! Just because demon crows don’t have access to spiritual swords doesn’t mean he can’t stab the hell out of you.

For his main weapon, I’m thinking crow demons that can take human form tend to use bows, with the feathers shed by their clan as fletching. (Perhaps demon feathers also grant abilities of some sort to the arrows?)

Looking at the iridescence of crow feathers reminds me of the Chinese tradition of making jewelry with kingfisher feathers. Now I think it would be lovely if the crow demons also had a tradition of fashioning similar jewelry with their own feathers, perhaps treated with solutions and lacquered in a way that brings out even more of their color.

Speaking of colors, while crows aren’t among those birds able to see significant ultraviolet, they are tetrachromats, and thus are able to distinguish colors to a far greater extent than humans. I’m sure his sudden ability to see way more colors than he could in his last life is very perplexing to poor Shen Yuan!

The regular crows acting as an alarm system by cursing and saying spooky nonsense at all unknown visitors is an absolute delight!

I vote that Shen Yuan intentionally never gives them whatever signal that would mark Airplane as a friend, just so they continue to harass the guy every time he comes to visit. 😂

(I’m thinking poor Airplane is trying to set up trade routes for demons, and struggling with the general hostility different types of demons have for one another. Killing interlopers and/or raiding other demons for their stuff is not conductive to trade! It’s no wonder demons lack the arts. Nobody shares anything with anyone, except when giving demon nobles tribute. 😭)

You know, with all the feathers and bird-folks about, the transmigrators probably figure out quill pens. Not sure how big of an improvement they’d be compared to brushes, but they’re at least more like what the transmigrators are used to.

It’d also be funny if all the demon crows and villagers were learning to write simplified Chinese from Shen Yuan, instead of traditional, leading visitors to wonder what the hell is up with this one location’s weird writing system, where half the characters are inexplicably different.

(He probably teaches them traditional too, if only for the sake of reading imported books and things, but simplified is probably faster for personal notes and bookkeeping or the like).

I've always loved when people have weapons in discreet places, so it seemed necessary to dump that onto Shen Yuan because he's the most iconic character ever. Especially CrowYuan as well, it seems like something he'd do just to be safe when it comes to these things - after everything he's read, it's hard not to always be prepared. (Also, a more cheeky reason if I may, imagine Shen Yuan in a sticky situation and he pulls the hair pin out of his hair, now holding a weapon and looking AWESOME as he does it) Also, main weapon as a bow IS MAKING ME LOOOSE MY MIND. Ever since I was little, I've been obsessed with people who use bows (Legolas, Robin Hood, Hawkeye, Kate Bishop, various book characters) and the idea of giving Shen Yuan a bow?? I am dropping to my knees and shaking my fists at the sky. HUZZAAAHH!!! Feathers as fletching is a great idea, almost like a calling card of sorts, as well as a warning. Demon feathers giving certain abilities to arrows is a brilliant idea, such as resilience, poison, increased speeds (useful for high pressure situations where someone has to die before they can be alerted). I'd find it interesting if different demon feathers grant different abilities, and it's almost a norm for these demons to trade feathers! The jewellery idea is absolutely gorgeous and adorable! I was thinking that it could mainly be a crow demon thing, and to have one made for you if you aren't a crow demon is a sign of great trust within the community, a decision that has to be agreed to by at least half of the community! Also, itty bitty angst idea, this jewellery could also be highly sought out because it's gorgeous and its making is entirely a clan secret that is only taught to those within it - so, it's often seen as a spoil of war, a way to brag about a crow demon's death is to wear the jewellery "won" from "battle". Shen Yuan would most definitely be thrown off guard by this wider arrange of colours, often found in the wildest areas of the forest and just staring at everything. At first, he wonders if it's because he's a demon now, but more research (aka, bullying a demon chicken Airplane for answers) shows that it is fact not because he's a demon, but instead because he's a crow. He is both excited that he can see all these colours and fiercely delighted that Airplane can't, because he's a spiteful little shit and I love him. If Airplane comes to visit, he's grown adept to immediately submitting to the harassment of the crows because they soon grow bored of him if they don't get any reaction other than pitiful screaming. (He would highly suffer from trying to set up trade routes as well, lmaooo) OH MY GOD, if Mobei Jun ever comes to visit Bing-ge, he would also be immediately attacked by crows and that is funnier than anything else right now in my mind. His stern face immediately becomes one of absolute outrage, but it quickly becomes confusion when Bing-ge says he can't attack them back because "Shen Yuan would never forgive me" On the idea of feathers as quill pens, that would end up being incredibly useful for them! Perhaps the use of certain demon feathers would be better than others if we go by different demon feathers holding different abilities - for instance, let's say crow feathers hold increased speed, that would be helpful for writing because one would merely need to guide the quill and let it do the rest. However, a demon feather that created a poison effect, let's say chicken feathers, would not be the best for writing, which makes certain feathers more valuable than others for different things! Shen Yuan would be a great teacher, because he knows the traditional Chinese - which is useful for things you previously mentioned - but then he would be able to introduce a whole new writing system that makes it easier to write. This would be especially useful for those who may struggle with the traditional Chinese, because then they would still be able to access writing!! {part seven! part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, and part six!}

[stu-dyingstudent]

Sakura Haruno fic recs: ANBU

AHHHH!!!! I love ANBU fics, especially when they involve Sakura. It was such a cool concept, which was unfortunately never fully expanded upon. However, our lack of knowledge regarding the shadow corps allows for some really cool fic ideas since authors can take creative liberty on the structure and workings of the division.

In my opinion, Sakura had the most potential out of team 7 to join ANBU (at least more than Naruto). It's all about being discreet and efficient and although she wasn't strong during og, she possessed abilities that would be valuable for this. Her clever mind, chakra control, and genjutsu potential would've made her a good fit. Naruto was too flamboyant and Sasuke was too reckless and cocky, but this is just my take. However, with her new skill set from her training with Tsunade, I don't think she would be able to go down that path anymore.

Started: 2024.08.06

Last Updated: 2024.08.29

note: feel free to check out my master list which has a bunch of Sakura Haruno fic recs (all organized)!

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Masks by mads999 || ao3 || kakasaku || E || canon divergent || complete

1. Sakura's Inner is far more diabolical than anyone ever expected 2. Crows prove to be cruel mentors 3. Sakura comes to learn exactly how much she hates Kakashi (as well as how alike they are, in the most terrible of ways)

Kakashi is a hateful turd and Sakura is spiteful! I hate this ship and I'm not a big fan of Kakashi here, but boy is this fic good. One of the best character developments I've read for Sakura and she certainly becomes of force to be reconned with. The ANBU lore in Masks is absolutely phenomenal and I love the whole system that is put into place as it adds for some drama (lol). Also, can we talk about how awesome crow summons are????

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Five Kingdoms for the Dead - Evil Is A Relative Term || ffn || M || canon divergence || complete

After the Forest of Death, Sakura comes to realize that being weak is no longer an option. However, she finds that change is sometimes painful and that truth doesn't always come easy. Luckily, she'll have some help along the way.

It's been a while since I've read Five Kingdoms for the Dead, but I just remember it being absolutely great! I'll be honest, I found a lot of the mind stuff pretty confusing at times, but it was still enjoyable. Also, some great characters are utilized in this fic such as Neji, Sai, and Itachi. Makes me really wish that we saw more of Sakura and Neji working together in Naruto since I think they compliment each other quite well.

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Trials of Change - Espoiretreves || ao3 || gen || time travel AU || complete

Haruno Sakura made a promise. Looking in the eyes of her Shisou and the reanimated Hokage, she took on the most important mission of her life. Go back in time and try to prevent the 4th Shinobi War. Now, Sakura is back to her 5-year-old body, with all the knowledge and haunting memories of the future. She vows to keep her precious people safe and stop certain events from happening, without altering the timeline too much. The trials her emotions and logic put her through have her questioning her very existence, but for the sake of peace, she has to push forward. No matter what.

Trials of Change is actually apart of a time travel series and I have to say that it is probably one of the best of the genre! Now, Sakura is not in ANBU here, but she works very closely with team Ro (Kakashi's ANBU team) and it's a huge part of the story, so I'm choosing to count it anyway. I really adore all of the worldbuilding and backstories going on here in addition to the fact that there are breaks. Yes, the story keeps moving, but there are other things going on, like playdates, and not just Sakura trying to save the world. Also, if you love Shisui then definitely check this out since he has a huge role and his and Sakura's friendship is just so precious.

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bite me and see, said the fly to the spider - MirrorImage003 || ao3 || itasaku || T || non-massacre AU || ongoing

In which Sakura is not initially a part of Team 7. In which she wears her failures like armor and brandishes her fears like her most trusted weapons. In which I do what hundreds of other authors have done before me, and rewrite Sakura's story. Non-massacre AU. Canon Divergent. Slow-burn.

After Sakura's first team, consisting of the graduating class's "expendables," dies, she joins team 7 and faces backlash along her shinobi journey. Sakura doesn't join ANBU until the later chapters so fair warning that there isn't too much content in that regards (unless it updates). Nonetheless, Sakura views ANBU as vital to her career as it offers her the highest clearance she can get. Gaining her opportunities for information her civilian-born status didn't allow her privy to.

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The Sixth Shadow - thinknicht || ao3 || kakasaku || M || canon divergent - eventual time travel AU || ongoing

No one seemed to find it odd when little Haruno Sakura threw herself smack dab in front of a Chidori and Rasengan. Not even Kakashi stopped to wonder.(He really should have.)

The story of how Sakura came to be the sixth hogake despite all of the challenges thrown her way. I especially love Sakura's drive in addition to the political aspects. However, be warned that Kakashi is an absolute HATER (in the beginning), but he gets better! The Sixth Shadow is extremely long and I only just recently got to Sakura's introduction to ANBU, so I can't say too much in that regard.

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Daughter of Fire - justjstuff || ao3 || kakasaku || E || canon divergence || incomplete (maybe ongoing)

Sakura got up and didn’t bother brushing the dirt from her dress. She had a feeling she was about to get even dirtier.She looked at the memorial stone one last time, memorizing the characters without even realizing she was doing it. It would serve from that moment on as a reminder of her determination. She wouldn’t let Naruto and Sasuke join the names carved on that stone.That was her nindo.

Sakura's growth throughout Daughter of Fire is great and realistic all while pointing out aspects from the original series which were flawed and dare I say misogynistic. I struggled a bit in the beginning to justify her abilities, but overall the story is really well done and the ANBU aspects are quite intriguing.

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cut the head off the snake - itsthechocopuff || ao3 || T || time travel AU || complete

when eighteen-year-old, post-war Sakura is thrown back into her tiny, pre-Academy body, she makes a decision. she'd had a childhood once already, and this time, she's more interested in Not Dying when the inevitable shit hits the proverbial fan. so she will work harder, care less, kill more, and smile when she's done.and hey, if she ends up reviving an extinct nature transformation to attract the most corrupt, power-hungry man from her timeline, all the better for her, right?

Such a unique take on a time travel AU and Cut the Head Off the Snake executes it perfectly. Sakura decides that her first order of business is to infiltrate ROOT and that's exactly what she does. Sai, Shin, and Shisui are all great characters and team Ro is present as well. Very good!

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Flowers - Idunmy || ao3 || E || kakasaku || canon divergence || ongoing

Flowers only bloom just before they wilt When Sakura loses her fight against Ino in her Chuunin exams, she questions her ability to ever become a kunoichi, too weak to protect herself, let alone her village One wrongful promotion later and Sakura gets a second chance in the shape of a mysterious new teacher who against all odds is willing to put her faith in a young girl with potential and a willingness to fight. Or- a fix-it inspired fic where Sakura grows to be the powerhouse she was destined to become.

Flowers is a newer series (which has recent updates) and I love it! Critiques are made towards the medical ninja training, which I believe needed to be discussed and it's refreshing to see. In most ANBU fics I've read, Sakura is immediately put onto the strongest team, but here it's a bit different. She begins on a demolition squad, which not only suits her skill set quite well, but is a realistic approach to how she would be introduced to the corps. Anyway, it's one of my favorite reads at the moment and I really like where the story is going.

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names. - waterpllar || ao3 || T || gen || canon divergence || complete

There are no names or faces in ANBU. Everything is designed to be strictly formal, efficient and professional. A recently orphaned Sakura, however, learns that some regulations aren't meant to be followed, and finds a place in Team Ro after being shunned from her former teammates. (fic prompt from anon on tumblr: orphaned sakura in anbu with yamato, genma, and team ro.)

AHHHH poor Sakura. After her parents' death Sakura seeks Tsunade's help out of desperation to become useful. Under recommendation, Sakura's new goal is to make it into ANBU.

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Equinox - FM_White || ao3 || itasaku || M || anbu AU || complete

ItaSaku (Post Uchiha Massacre) AU: Climbing through the ranks of Konoha, Sakura finds herself with the invitation to join ANBU and a chance to learn from one of the most renowned and legendary ninja in the world. Despite her efforts to grow stronger however, she finds the world isn't as black and white as it looks and that some truths are easier to hide than others.

I don't remember Equinox very well, but I love most works by this author sooo. Anyway, Itachi stays in Konoha and instead it's Sasuke that goes rougue. Sakura, Naruto, and Shikamaru are newly joined ANBU members and all placed on a team with Itachi and things go from there.

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stars in our eyes as we dream of the heavens (the gods walk among us, sweet child, do not forget) - snickiebear || ao3 || kakasaku || T || age-swap AU || oneshot complete

“Kakashi-sensei,” Naruto whispered, staring at his teacher, horror plain on his face. “You’re married?” Lazily, Kakashi looked down at his gloveless hand where his ring rested, “It would appear so.”

Sakura is born in the same generation as Kakashi and turns out as a badass ANBU married to him. This is super wholesome as it's a lot of the two of them bonding with Kakashi's genin team (Sai makes three) in an effort to help them out. It's a series so you can read more of the events taking place prior to the fic.

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Anachronistic Drift  - Elesrea  || ffn || gen || T || time travel AU || incomplete

Her plan was flawless. Save Shisui. Save the world. Time-travel, Sakura-centric AU

Sakura spends years training to be sent back in time and save the world from Sasuke. She isn't in ANBU, but rather poses as one in order to keep an anonymous status on her doings both in and out of the village.

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Sakura - lilac haze || ffn/ao3 || M || minasaku || time travel AU || complete

AU. Non-Canon. Time Travel. Please see inside for full warnings. Cross posted on Ao3. On his deathbed he was granted eternal peace and place to rest for all of time. Of course that was not appealing to him. Ever unpredictable to the end he had a counter offer. One that the Sage had to consider. In which Sakura's going to have a rough time. A really rough time.

Sakura is probably one of my all time favorite fics because the emotions are just spectacular. The story is pretty heavy on ANBU and ROOT aspects, which I always enjoy, but I wouldn't say it's a major focus. However, there is an emphasis on the unfair treatment towards kunoichi. Anyway, the characterizations and storytelling are beautifully done. Please share this author some love.

Check TWs before hand!!

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Hope y'all enjoy these recs, and please feel free to send me some if you have any!!!! I really appreciate when you do :)

[demonslayerunhinged]

Unhinged theory

Sanemi and Giyuu are exes (Part 2)

Ok so this part is just spoilers galore but if you don't mind then ok. Here's part one.

The second beginning

During the final battle after they have both unlocked their demon slayer marks. They are more open with each other, Sanemi has learned to trust others and Giyuu has learned to trust himself and Sanemi throwing the sword is awesome for him because it's Sanemi telling him that 'I trust you, don't let me down!' and Giyuu thinks 'Yes! I'll do my best!'. The previous training that they've done now comes into play because they know each other's moves and are able to fight together seamlessly!

The last shot of them eating Giyuu's favorite dish together not only calls back to Sanemi's offer, but I feel that it's also a way for Giyuu to begin opening up, like he's telling Sanemi 'This is me' and that he wants Sanemi back and wants to mend their relationship.

The side eye Sanemi's giving Giyuu is so funny because he seems wary. I can just imagine their conversation.

Sanemi: You'd better not fuck this up again, or I will leave your ass for good.

Giyuu (already playing the part of the whipped husband): Yes, dear.

Some proof

Like I said in the Part 1, I already talked about the romantic undertones in Giyuu's attempts to connect with Sanemi by his body language and expressions. It's obvious Giyuu wants him and now that Tanjiro has touched his heart a second time, he now has a stronger understanding of his emotions and what he wants.

Here, I'll list a bunch of tidbits that point to them having a previous relationship.

Giyuu and Tanjiro's discussion about Sanemi post coma-inducing punch should've stopped at theories as to what type of bean paste he likes, but they kept on talking about him. I don't think Giyuu would do that if he didn't know more stuff about Sanemi, maybe through their past interactions, his own observations or both.

Giyuu describes Sanemi as grumpy and hot-tempered in the Corps records, contrast this with his thoughts on Obanai. He feels sad and doesn't know why our snek boy doesn't like him but with Sanemi the short description he gives is similar to one I would give about someone I'm familiar who has a major flaw that I can't ignore that makes it hard for me to connect with them.

How did Sanemi know where Giyuu's training grounds were? Even Tanjiro who has spent a considerable time with Giyuu still needed a map for directions. You might argue that Sanemi's crow probably told him where Giyuu's place is, but neither of their crows are present during the entire scene. So Sanemi has to have known where, which means he's probably been there before and has sparred with him in the past.

I've talked about how their fight was similar to a conversation than actual training, and the way that they're able to perfectly counter and dodge each other's moves tells me that this isn't their first time sparring. There's also Sanemi's demeanor during the fight, in his training with Obanai and Muichiro, he was serious but with Giyuu he's...smiling? He was enjoying himself, even his taunts to Giyuu had a playful edge to it. It's like he's happy to be sparring with an old friend.

Giyuu's lack of reaction when Sanemi suggests that they beat each other up. He doesn't seem threatened, it's like he knows that Sanemi isn't actually going to hurt him and based on Sanemi's annoyance at Tanjiro coming between them, there's a small chance that Sanemi might have been joking and Giyuu knew it. It wasn't as big of a deal as Tanjiro made it out to be.

In Conclusion, Sanemi and Giyuu probably have history, which is why the vibes between them feel like they're an old, married couple.

*Yes, I am crazy and yes, this is an ADHD, 4 hours of sleep, caffeine-induced breakdown. Their relationship is my current hyperfixation, and I'm going to make it everyone's problem 🙂. It's all Ufotable's fault.

[desiredcaramellatte]

Do you think you could do some crk self aware au stuff?? The tag is painfully dead.. if not feel free to delete lmfao

That aside, during Cookie Odyssey, I was **convinced** that soulstones we're going to come into play somehow, it was like my major theory during ch.2, and nobody could convince me otherwise but it never happened. Giving the soulstones an in lore explanation would've been fricking awesome imo..

Can we get some HCs of the player (or their in game kingdom) basically having a monopoly on soulstones while the cookies are left scratching their heads as to not only how they work, but also how the reader got what is technically a part of their souls.

Write for anyone really, idm that much. I generally like the Creme Republic though-- whether reader is still behind the screen or knows the cookies are self aware is up to you really.

That would be very cool if they actually had a lore explanation :0 I thought the soul jams were soul stones first time I heard about them tbh, they just linked together in my mind, also reader is so real for trading monies for souls

I have never written self aware before so apologies if it sucks-

Anyways enough of my ranting, hcs yes

Self aware cookies & reader

(Who has a soul stone monopoly)

Gingerbrave & friends

Gingerbrave is one of the least confused cookies regarding this, to be honest. Mainly because he doesn't really care enough/doesn't notice to really question it. You gather these little trinkets that make him stronger! Cudos to you from this boy.

Wizard, on the other hand, is confused as hell of this process. Where do these stones come from? Are they truly linked to the Cookie's souls? Does that mean that they are not fully themself and/or complete until they are fully leveled, even if they only materialize with twenty of them?

Wizard just wants to know. He has asked you multiple times over, getting confused by your answers and delving in deeper whenever he can. Exactly WHERE do they come from? He's obsessed with finding out by this point.

Strawberry really doesn't mind. She's a little confused where they come from, but, like Gingerbrave, she doesn't question it too much. She does like to occasionally made theories, but she doesn't really like to share them.

If you're good friends with her she may share some of her theories with you, but none of the wild ones, and only if you ask.

Clotted Cream

WHOLE ASS ENGROSSED. He wants to know everything about the soulstones. Where do they come from? How would one even 'farm' these and how does farming a soul even work?

More specifically, he is trying to find a connection between soulstones and souljam. They do almost the same thing and have very similar names- they're both linked to the soul, and make cookies stronger.

He has spent many restless nights awake thinking about this.

Much like Wizard in that he's harassing you for answers, but he does asks questions more subtly.

Clotted Cream has flipped a few tables (with occasional assistance from Financier) before, mainly when he gets annoyed enough at not having a verifiable answer to this.

Financier

It is what it is. She accepts this. She's got dragged into the theorizing by Clotted Cream.

Chilling, mainly. She doesn't really mind not care. Likely to thank you for doing your best to collect them and to make everyone, including her, stronger.

Black Raisin

Intrigued by the sparkliness of most of these soulstones. Much like a crow, she is attracted to shiny objects. Her crow friends are too.

Black Raisin has a small hoard of soulstones that she's occasionally found, of all different sorts of cookies. The sparkler the soulstone, the likelier she and/or her crows are to snatch and hoard. If the soulstone is just a pretty rock then she'll also hoard those too.

If you really need a soulstone she will likely give one to you. How often and/or how many depends on her connection to you.

She's farming them with you by this point.

Oyster

Yoinks you.

She wants to have conversations about this. She wants to know what they are and where they come from. She will offer you tea and scones while the two of you converse.

When she first found out that her stones are Super Epic, she was very proud of herself.

Probably sends you back with some every time you come visit her.

Captain Caviar

Doesn't believe they exist. They're just rocks. Nothing more.

He will stand by his claim to the death. This WILL be the hill he died on. Captain Caviar does not believe soulstones exist.

Probably has made some propaganda about soulstones being fake. Socks, hats, jackets, you name it, he's likely made it with the words "Soulstones do not exist, numbskull" in big letter on it. Except shirts.

Pure Vanilla

Very much like Oyster. Will likely join in on your conversation time and/or will invite the two of you over for his homemade tea and treats!

Most likely to understand how Soulstones work due to him wielding Souljam, which is the most similar thing to them. Also the fact he has lived for a long time and has gathered many knowledge on the subject.

Probably has a book on the subject somewhere.

He likes to sit and watch the Ferris Wheel Landmark rotate. He likes the motion.

[lookwhatyoumademedohaha]

And that kids is, how I met your mother Chapter 2 - Labyrinth

It only feels this raw right now Lost in the labyrinth of my mind Break up, break free, break through, break down You would break your back to make me break a smile You know how much I hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back Just like that

Uh oh, I'm falling in love Oh no, I'm falling in love again Oh, I'm falling in love I thought the plane was going down How'd you turn it right around

Summary: Nikolai Lantsov and you attend an extravagant and gorgeous ball. Nikolai falls for you harder head over heels but will you face the labyrinth of new feelings that begin to emerge?

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x Reader, Nikolai Lantsov x Six of Crows Reader, Kaz Brekker x Reader, Zoya Nazyalensky x Reader (Platonic), Nina Zenik x Reader (Platonic), Genya Safin x Reader (Platonic) 

Warnings: Pure tooth rotting fluff, angst and comfort, lots of humor, awesome friendships, unrequited love that might be requited, denial, pining, jealousy and slight violence.

A/N: Hi everyone! This is my first Nikolai Lantsov fic so I was very surprised and grateful for the love, support and kindness you all showered upon me! Thank you very much! Here is the Part 2 to this work and I hope you all like it. I don’t think it ends here, there’s a bit more to go but I’m excited! Let me know your thoughts and comments on my work because it means a lot to me! I love you all! Happy reading!

Chapter 1 - Until I Found Her 

Chapter 3 - Call it what you want

Chapter 4 - Someone to Stay

Chapter 5 - Cornelia Street

You looked at yourself in the gilded mirrors in the hallway of the palace, hearing the melodious notes of the orchestral grand music and the lively chatter of nobles behind the door you were about to enter. You looked at yourself inspecting Genya’s, Zoya’s and Nina’s work on you. You looked ethereal and dreamy, a princess out of a fairytale and yet the girls had not diminished the fierceness of spirit and your heart that kept on fighting for the ones you loved. You fidgeted with your beautiful dress grumbling but secretly feeling thrilled and happy to be wearing such a spectacular and dazzling dress that made you feel on top of the world. 

A snarky voice behind her said “Stop fidgeting with your dress!”

You nearly punched this person reflexively but Zoya was quick to catch your punch and gently lower your arm as she stood behind you with Genya and Nina who were the sparkling epitome of beauty. You were certain that Zoya, Genya and Nina were going to be the belles of the ball, the envy of every single princess in the party and admired by every single nobleman. 

They entered the ballroom as you felt apprehensive and nervous because - because what? You had been to many high society galas and balls as an undercover spy on missions for Kaz during your stay in Ketterdam. But this ball was different. This was a party where you had no purpose of enticing intel or being the distraction. The only purpose of this ball for you was to have fun and enjoy yourself which was a foreign concept to you. 

And also Nikolai, the King of Ravka, your friend would be here. 

Genya noticed your nervousness straightaway as she placed her arm around you comfortingly “You look magnificent, Y/N! Don’t be nervous, we’ll be keeping you company!”

“It’s true, you do look divine. Y/N, look at you all grown up and beautiful and going off to sweep the King of Ravka off his feet!” teased Nina playfully with a grin as Zoya tried to hide an amused smile but failed miserably as a wide smile curved on her face. 

You glared at the three girls who burst into laughter who seem to have fun teasing you about Nikolai’s infatuation with you as you rolled your eyes and Zoya joined in the fun “Nikolai likes you very much. He won’t know what hit him when he sees you, Y/N. He’s already like a lost puppy who follows you around.”

Genya eyed Zoya who slightly nodded with a smirk as Genya replied hopefully “Well, perhaps tonight you could get to know him a little better. You might even find yourself secretly interested him.”

You had to control yourself from strangling Genya in the middle of the ballroom because you and Nikolai were never going to happen as you replied sarcastically “I cannot think of any cleverer way to say this but... no!”

The girls laughed and Genya winked subtly at Zoya who added her fuel to the fire as she said “Well, Nikolai won’t have time for you. He’ll be too busy with important business.”

You generally wouldn’t have inquired but something in the way Zoya pronounced and implied that Nikolai would be busy with important business aroused your curiosity as you inquired “What do you mean?”

“He is the King of Ravka and he needs to find himself a suitable queen to secure Ravka. Tonight’s ball is about finding the perfect queen for Ravka among all the eligible girls here.” replied Zoya steely and firmly as she looked at Nikolai who was busy talking to ambassadors and then glanced at you who wore a thoughtful and quiet expression. “I suppose this is happy news to you. After all, he won’t be bothering you for long.”

It certainly was not a ball to find an eligible queen for Nikolai. Zoya and Genya had a bet with Nina about whether or not you would get together with Nikolai and Genya and Zoya who liked you and knew no one could resist Nikolai for long had bet that you would have feelings for Nikolai before you leave Ravka and get together later on. Zoya and Genya who didn’t want to lose the bet had found an excuse to host a ball on some Saint’s festival and both of them organized this ball of romance and beauty like a military campaign. Zoya and Genya had their fingers crossed as they observed you and Nikolai. If they were lucky, they would win the bet and tonight would be the night you would perhaps feel something more for Nikolai.

You felt a strange sense of odd hurt and slight pain sting you at the thought of Nikolai marrying another girl. You felt quiet bitterness and an aching hollow numb feeling ringing through you as you thought of the charming golden boy who was too good for this world, who smiled too brightly hiding his vulnerabilities and insecurities giving everything for a thankless country marrying a beautiful princess. You knew that you didn’t like him, you loved Kaz. You knew Nikolai had to do his duty and marry a princess for Ravka. But as you sipped your champagne, you didn’t feel easy at the thought of it and you felt horrible for feeling this way because you didn’t love Nikolai in a romantic way. 

Then why did you want to set something on fire? 

At that very moment, a Lord who you didn’t know interrupted your thoughts as he asked you to dance and you looked at Zoya and Genya who had vanished and Nina who was at the table munching on cakes with a laugh at your torture. You glared at those traitors wherever they were and you refused to dance with him. 

You made your way to the food table where Nina was indulging in the cakes as you glared at her “Traitor! I was in danger and you left me!”

“Lord Kirigan just asked you to dance.” said Zoya appearing out of nowhere with a grin. “It’s no big deal. It’s not torture in a locked dungeon.”

You punched her in the arm as she smirked and you smirked back “Well, I refused and suggested that he should ask you. And, he seemed to agree greatly to that idea.”

You smirked in amusement as Zoya grew slightly pale as she saw Kirigan approach her with an enthusiastic wide lovestruck smile and you grinned at Zoya with a teasing twinkle in your eyes “It’s no big deal, Zoya. It’s not torture in a locked dungeon.”

“Saints! If he asks, I have left the country with no plans of coming back!” exclaimed Zoya who glared at you fiercely as she disappeared quickly through the crowd avoiding Kirigan’s advances while Nina and you laughed in amusement. 

Both of you stopped laughing when Kirigan inquired after Zoya and Nina decided to have mercy on Zoya as she drawled sweetly “Zoya died eighteen years ago. I haven’t seen her since the funeral.”

After getting rid of Kirigan, you and Nina enjoyed the champagne and the delightful food while gossiping in amusement and mingling with the crowd. It was different from your missions where you always had to be alert and ready for trouble beneath your charming demeanor. You began to enjoy the party as you were introduced to new people who you liked and chatted charmingly

But you felt Nikolai’s gaze burning into you the moment you had entered. From the moment you had entered to every step you took, you could feel his intense and heated gaze following you with such burning desire that you refused to meet his eyes for the fear of drowning in them. It was such a beautiful and foreign sensation, to have someone so conscious of every little thing you did and adore and worship it. You knew that it couldn’t be possible. After all tonight was about finding the perfect queen for Nikolai and you weren’t simply interested in him and unsuitable for such a position. You were glad for Nikolai but something didn’t feel right within you. 

But your thoughts were still of Kaz Brekker even though Nina had bought you here to forget him. The distance between both of you only made it worse for you as you thought of whether Kaz missed you as much as you missed him and wondered whether he thought of you like you thought of him whenever you saw everything that called out his name to you. This heartbreak felt eternal as it killed you over and over again and sometimes you found yourself looking over to tell Kaz something enthusiastically but realized that he was no longer there, no longer part of your life. 

It felt cruel to suffer like this. Only love could hurt like this. And you never wanted to feel like this again. You wanted this distance to knock some sense into Kaz and make him realize that you were the one he loved. But it had been weeks and there was no word from him. No letters from him. You hadn’t expected Kaz to turn up at Ravka and make a grand romantic gesture but you would be lying if you hadn’t expected at least a letter inquiring about you. You felt burning pain and hurt as tears sprung into your eyes at the thought of the Bastard of Barrel who still managed to haunt you and ruin your happiness even in his absence. 

You were chatting with your new friend Princess Ameera who was kind and nice as you both chewed on the sweet cupcakes when suddenly you were interrupted by a gentleman you asked you “Miss Y/L/N, will you do me the honor of dancing with me?”

You looked around for Ameera who had conveniently ducked behind a potted plant and you looked at the gentleman who certainly did not match up to Nikolai’s aristocratic charm and handsomeness. 

And hell, why in the name of Saints were you suddenly thinking of him?

“No.” you replied bluntly and you were certain the potted plant laughed out loud.

The gentleman looked offended as he turned red and marched away. You were glad because now maybe your horrible behavior toward the gentleman would spread and you wouldn’t be asked to dance by men who didn’t know how to dance. 

Ameera emerged, her face red in laughter “You are splendid!”

Ameera and you laughed but your joy was short lived when a line of military officers and noble gentlemen queued to ask your hand for a dance but you brutally turned them down. You had anticipated this as one of the outcomes but it frustrated you that these men who thought themselves as intelligent didn’t understand the meaning of no. One after another you refused to dance with them simply because you didn’t feel like they would be a good dancer. 

Now you were turning down a Colonel who had thought you were an interesting woman who could be won for a dance as he made conversation with you “I must admit, Miss Y/L/N, I have admired you from afar for some time. You caught my eye the very first moment I saw you.”

For the love of all the Saints, did this man have nothing original in his pocket. You rolled your eyes not noticing Nikolai look at you in observant amusement as you retorted “Why on earth would I catch your eye? Your eyeballs look in perfect place to me. I’m not in habit of catching eyes, let me assure that. I’m more of a catching decapitated heads lady.”

You took pleasure in seeing the life drain out of his face in fear but he tried a different tactic “May I have the -”

You immediately replied wanting to get this over with “No, you may not dance with me. Why don’t you go find another partner who actually wants to dance with you? Goodbye.”

You heaved a sigh of gratitude and Ameera who had been witnessing this grinned “I wish I could refuse men the way you do. It is a wonder to witness.”

Your eyes involuntarily skipped toward Nikolai who was surrounded by a gaggle of beautiful princesses and pretty ladies as he flashed his charming smile and said something that made them laugh. You felt something quite fierce and protective in your heart at the sight as you bit fiercely into your macaroon. 

Ameera smiled knowingly as she eyed you glaring at Nikolai who was popular among the ladies as she queried politely “You admire King Nikolai Lantsov?”

“No!” you denied immediately and fiercely, shocked at the very thought as you swallowed your food and smiled tightly thinking of Nikolai surrounded by all those beautiful princesses and yet the fact he hadn’t paid a single ounce of attention to you stung you “We are friends.”

“I hear he is a good man and a great king with wise plans for change.” replied Ameera conversationally. 

“Well, if you want to dance with him, you will have to wait. There is quite a long line of admirers.” you replied sarcastically and snarkily as you bit into your macaroon again glaring at a princess who touched Nikolai’s shoulder flirtily with a coy smile to which he responded with a charming grin. 

“Yes, you are right. I must not lose my chance. It was a pleasure meeting you, Miss Y/N Y/LN.” said Ameera sincerely as she nodded at you kindly and sweetly and left to meet Nikolai. 

You watched Princess Ameera approach Nikolai and you saw her pointing toward you with a kind smile saying to Nikolai that you had suggested she should dance with him and Nikolai raised his eyebrows at you and you immediately looked away stuffing your mouth with two macaroons. 

As you occupied yourself with observing people and eavesdropping shamelessly at their scandalous conversations and eating the amazing sweets, you found your thoughts wandering toward Kaz Brekker, wishing that he was here with you. Their last mission had been a grand party like this where they had played the role of a married couple, where Kaz had been absolutely devoted and loving toward you with burning desire and affection in his eyes only for you as it all felt beautiful and too good to be true. Then the clock had struck midnight and the fairytale had ended with Kaz Brekker breaking your heart cruelly, tearing you apart with his cold words that made you realize you were a fool for him while he had been enjoying playing the game to achieve his goals. 

Your hand flew toward the simple silver necklace that had a gold ring hanging from it. The ring was stunning and simple with a charm of the silhouette of a Crow engraved on it and the letter R carved into it. It was the ring he had gifted to you with an involuntary soft smile for your mission as a fake couple because he wanted you to keep and wear it. He had placed the ring on your finger with a soft glint in his eyes as he smoothed your palm with his hand and briefly and softly kissed the your hand. It had been intimate and affectionate, exactly like a real proposal between two lovers who wanted to spend a lifetime with each other. This ring was special to you because it gave you hope that you were his and he wanted it that way. 

It felt all too much for you, you were suffocating and you couldn’t breathe as you rushed out of the ballroom to find fresh air and peace as tears sprung into your eyes and your heart ached cruelly tearing you into pieces. You didn’t know where you were, all you knew was you were sitting on the floor as you heaved heavy breaths trying to calm yourself down. 

You heard someone sit next to you and Zoya’s calm and collected voice echoed toward you “Hello you.”

You didn’t reply engulfed in your sorrow and heartbreak and Zoya who had seen you run away out of the ballroom wanted to check up on you. Zoya had seen Nikolai who had been in the middle of negotiations with an ambassador look at you in concern and desperation as he tried to excuse himself to check up on you but the ambassador seemed steadfast on keeping a grip on the King of Ravka. 

Zoya wanted to know why you looked so pale as she said offering a bottle of brandy “Why did you leave the party?”

You took a gulp of brandy and then a deep breath as you replied in a voice trembling with grief and hurt “It reminded me of.... a person. This enigmatic person who I let get into my head. Trust me, he doesn’t leave.”

Zoya knew who exactly you were talking about as she looked over at you because she had experience with enigmatic people and the aftermath of dealing with the grief of losing them and how they let you down so easily as she queried, taking the bottle of brandy from you “This enigmatic person of yours... is your what exactly?”

You were taken aback by the question as you pondered over it and replied quietly “He’s... he’s not my anything.”

“Oh, you mean you are just friends.” replied Zoya easily in understanding as she nursed the comforting thought of throwing Kaz Brekker into a canal the next time she met him as she drank the brandy. 

“Yes, we’re just friends.” you said quickly, too quickly for it to be true as the lie felt bitter on your tongue. You took the bottle of brandy to your lips and the memories of Kaz Brekker, his little soft smile reserved for you until he had become cold and cruel breaking your heart into a million pieces flashed through your mind as you breathed in “Not even friends... not anymore. He’s not the man I thought he was and I hate that.”

“Oh, he was wrong, cruel, mean, underhanded, thoughtless, heartless and arrogant beyond belief.” summed Zoya understanding exactly how you felt because when she had heard of the Darkling’s atrocious act, she had been shaken in pain and disbelief because that was not the man who she had known and cared for. Zoya remembered questioning why the Darkling had become that way and how she could have fallen for his act. “He betrayed you and everything you stood for.”

“Exactly!” you stated looking at Zoya who was drinking the brandy who had summed up your feelings about Kaz Brekker excellently.

Zoya looked at you with a determined glint in her eyes “So are you saying goodbye and ending it? Why are you crying over him instead of enjoying the party in there?”

“I came to Ravka to distance myself from him. I can’t just say goodbye and end everything on a slammed door.” you replied seriously, your eyes widened as a hollow and numb pit began to form at the idea of just leaving Kaz Brekker without a word. The thought of leaving Kaz Brekker, the Bastard of the Barrel even if he was the boy who broke your heart, was incredibly strange and daunting. You could never think of leaving him because... because who would you be without him? Kaz Brekker for all his faults and flaws was the person who had seen your set of skills and given you purpose in life. 

“Yes you can! Anyone can do it! People do it all the time.” exclaimed Zoya honestly and sharply as she watched you drink thoughtfully and nudged you as she raised her eyebrows knowingly “Except of course... when they can’t.”

“Life would be so much simpler if we liked the right people. The people we are supposed to like.” said Zoya contemplatively and quietly thinking of her past with the Darkling as you lay your head on her shoulder glad to have a strong soul who understood you. You felt your breath quicken at Zoya’s words as you thought of Nikolai and Kaz, how vastly different they were and your eyes grew misty “But I suppose then, there wouldn’t be fairytales.”

Fairytales. What a nice and simple word for a fantasy that didn’t exist. In Ketterdam, there was no room for fairytales and yet you were a believer in happily ever after and dreamed of having your own fairytale once you met Kaz Brekker. That was your mistake. You should never have dreamed. You should have never believed that you were someone who deserved to find happiness and true love. Those were purely reserved for good heroes who triumphed in stories. 

You replied curtly “I grew up out of fairytales.”

“So did I. I suppose we have something more in common.” said Zoya smiling fondly at you and then got up as she held out her hand to you with a sisterly expression “This enigmatic person of yours... would you trade them for reliable and dull?”

“My person’s a bit different.” you replied with a knowing smile as you thought of Kaz who was dark and mysterious, full of secrets and schemes.

Zoya grinned as she flung an arm around you “Come on, dry your eyes. Don’t waste a second thinking about him. That’s what he wants, to ruin everything you have but don’t give him the satisfaction of letting him get in the way of enjoying your life.”

“And maybe one day... you can end it on a slammed door and trade him for kind and charming.” advised Zoya with a motherly smile as she leaned her head against yours comfortingly raising the bottle of brandy to your good health making you giggle a little. 

“Alright then, my plan for tonight is to get fucked up beyond recognition!” you replied merrily as you took the bottle of the brandy and took a gulp from it while Zoya grinned in approval and cheered for you.

Both of you made it to the ballroom laughing and talking when Kirigan cornered Zoya who looked like she was ready for battle and you pitied the poor fellow. Zoya was slowly becoming like a sister to you and you admired her fierce and strong composure. But as Zoya battled Kirigan fiercely in his attempts to woo her, your eyes flicked toward a few gentlemen who were near you and near the hearing range of Nikolai. 

You grew curious as you edged a little closer to them with a wine glass in your hand and you heard one of the gentleman, his voice full of glee and juicy gossip as he exclaimed “You haven’t heard?”

Heard what? Spill the tea, good fellow because your ears were open.

Your instincts as a spy were activated as you kept your ears open while you smiled encouragingly at Kirigan who was chatting Zoya who looked like she was battling an army of volcra and you observed the company. It was the Duke Romanov, a few prominent Lords you recognized and a wealthy merchant. 

You pretended to be clueless but really you were sipping on your glass of wine as you listened to their chatter as Duke Romanov said in a drawn out voice that aroused curiosity “King Nikolai is the finest king we have ever had the good fortune to have! I do have a shocking piece of information I need to share regarding him but I cannot do so because I cannot taint my reputation by becoming known as a gossip.”

You rolled your eyes because honestly when men said women were the gossips, it amused you. Men were worse than women when it came to gossiping.

You could practically see Lord Radimov salivating as he said “Yes. You have something of importance, Duke?”

You carefully stepped toward them hiding among the crowd as another girl who had eyes out for an eligible suitor, unnoticeable and invisible to them curious to hear what Duke Romanov who was famous for being a gossip with plenty of juicy stories and wicked rumors to share. You had heard that he had argument with Nikolai regarding one of Nikolai’s reforms of integrating Grisha and non - Grisha for unity because the Duke believed taxing the poor and building useless infrastructure was a better reform.

“I cannot say, my dear gentlemen.” said Duke Romanov grandly to the company “It is merely a rumor and I would never dream of slandering our great King’s character.”

You were amazed at people’s ability to lie so casually and carelessly as you listened to the present company reassure him “We will not tell anyone.”

Lord Devington nodded solemnly “You know us, Duke. We are not men who spread untruths. We would never dream of it.”

It was really amazing as you hid an amused grin at these gentlemen being scandalous gossips waiting impatiently for the Duke to spill whatever scandalous story he was withholding about Nikolai. You wondered whether it was about his wild youth or days in the army. Whatever it was, it seemed shocking to the Duke who you had classified information on. You had information on nearly everyone in the court. You were a spy first and foremost and your instincts sought for information you could use and indulge in. You couldn’t turn it off just because you were on holiday. 

Duke Romanov gave in with a dramatic sigh as he said in a sincere voice that you almost believed “Well alright, but only if you promise not to repeat a word of it.”

Lord Justinbury repeated “We promise. Does it have something to do with his days before he became King?”

Now your ears were wide open as you felt curiosity as you breathed in while the Duke smiled indulgently and said nastily in a low voice you could hear after years of practice as a spy “That’s exactly it, Lord Justinbury. The shocking part is... that before he became king, he prided himself on being a pirate among scumbags and thieves. Called himself Sturmhond.”

Oh dear! He actually cared about getting out of the bubble of royalty and mixing with commoners! How scandalous!

You grinned involuntarily as you thought of the tales of Sturmhond you had heard and your grin grew wider at the thought of Nikolai pretending to be a privateer in the seas as he worked among common folk and thugs. Well, well, how very naughty of Nikolai, breaking all the traditions of the upperclass Ravka. This just made you like him more. 

One gentleman exclaimed “Heavens! The fact that our King has degraded himself so -”

“Rubbing shoulders with terrifying thieves and common folk! That’s hardly a behavior suitable for a King!” exclaimed one of the other Lords while you held back screeches of amused laughter at how dramatic these men were. 

Duke Romanov was not done with his story yet as he added with glee “And he has worked for a living sailing all around the world and making friends with thieves in an awful place in Kerch!”

“Oh my - dear Duke Romanov, you don’t mean to tell me our beloved King has mingled with low scumbags - from what’s that terrible, awful, terrifying place of hell -”

“Ketterdam.” another gentleman supplied helpfully.

Yeah, sounded about right. If there was a hell on earth with every evil, terrible, awful thing that the Pandora’s box unleashed, it was Ketterdam itself ruled by the Bastard of the Barrel who was worse than the devil.

“They do not have a proper system of governance like us, do they?” asked another gentleman scandalized at the very thought of no king ruling Ketterdam.

You suppressed a snort of laughter as you replied in your head sarcastically “Worse. They have Kaz Brekker, Dirtyhands. If you ever visit Ketterdam, make certain to get on his bad side and he will welcome you warmly.”

Duke Romanov was enjoying the effect his story had on his friends as he whispered conspiratorially in a shocked voice “That’s not even the shocking part!”

Lord Seisthorne replied wide eyed “My dear Duke, what could be more shocking than your revelations this evening?”

Oh you thought that was a bold question for Lord Seisthorne to ask considering the juicy information who were holding in your head regarding him. 

Lord Justinbury queried innocently “Does it have something to do with how quickly he inherited the throne?”

“That’s exactly the most shocking part. Isn’t it suspicious how after a long time he suddenly took interest in the throne and worked very hard for it?” asked Duke Romanov delightfully as he exclaimed with a grin “I have heard from a reliable source our King is a Fjerdan born bastard who has no right to sit on the throne!” 

You froze in shock. It was apparent Nikolai had heard it and you weren’t the only one who froze in shock. Zoya and Kirigan who were arguing had also stopped in shock as they looked over at Nikolai protectively and loyally and glared daggers at the gossiping Duke.

You had heard whispers but you didn’t want to believe it unless it came from Nikolai. And as you looked over at Nikolai, it was absolutely clear to you that he had heard it. Nikolai looked charming and undisturbed as he sipped on his drink and yet as you looked closer you saw his shoulders stiffen tensely, his happy hazel eyes flicker with pain and betrayal and his charming smile unnoticeably slightly waver at the corners of his mouth. 

It was as if he was used to it. 

Oh hell no. Hell no! No way you were allowing this gossiping Duke to strip your Prince of his arrogance and pride. Yes, you thought of Nikolai as ridiculous, proud and charming but that was his armor. No one had the right to strip away his armor, take away his pride and hurt him. You would not let anyone do that. 

Alright, so now the fun was going to start. 

Before anyone could stop you, you had marched to Duke Romanov with a charming smile “Duke Romanov! It’s time for our dance!”

Duke Romanov who had not been introduced to you looked at you skeptically “Do we know each other, Miss...”

“Oh believe me, you have not had that pleasure yet. But I believe we can change that for the dance floor calls!” you exclaimed with a delighted smile plastered on your face as you took his hand with a wink and he let himself guide you to the dance floor confused yet fine with what was happening. 

The dance began as the confused Duke guided you across the dance floor and he looked at you in confusion but his confusion melted away to awe when you flashed your sweet smile at him unaware that Nikolai was gripping his wine glass very tightly burning a hole into the Duke’s head as you said pleasantly “Duke Romanov, I understand you are not happy with King Nikolai Lantsov.”

“Who are you?” asked the Duke, his smile fading slightly.

“None of your business.” you said with a charming and sassy smile as you pressed yourself closer to him and felt satisfied when the Duke groaned in pain as you pressed a butter knife you had picked from the table. You smiled brightly as you raised your eyebrows and pressed the knife into his torso “Keep smiling brightly and dancing.”

“Just so we are clear, this is pressed into your brachial artery. Keep smiling, sweetheart.” you crooned sweetly and charmingly with a delightful smile on your face as you danced with him unaware that Nikolai was curiously looking at you who looked far too happy to be dancing with a pompous Duke who seemed like he was trying his best to smile. 

“Once you start to bleed, you will start to lose consciousness and then you will die soon unless someone comes to aid.” you said calmly and politely smiling widely at the Duke pressing the knife harder making him groan in absolute pain “Now given your recent magnificent behavior at this party... how likely do you think that anyone is going to rescue you?”

The Duke’s eyes bulged out of his head in shock as he looked at you with absolute pain and you felt pleasure at him suffering at your hands while you danced with him to the music. 

“To prevent this entirely blessed and wonderful incident from happening, I recommend you should keep your mouth shut about any distasteful rumors regarding King Nikolai Lantsov from now on and take back what you have said to your noble friends.” you said politely and sweetly but your eyes were steely and cool with the promise of danger if he did not agree with your demands “From now on, I’m keeping my eye on you and calling the shots. Don’t ever mock and threaten the King again. Got it?”

“Got it. Really got it.” groaned the Duke who was suffering true pain at your hands, regretting every word that he had uttered. 

“Good. Oh and one more thing. I suspect you want our King dethroned so I’ll be watching your every move. One wrong move, one wrong relationship and the King will be the least of your problems. Don’t smile at this because I am not joking. I have friends who will be glad to take out your eyeballs and hang you down a bridge subjecting you torture if you don’t do as I command.” you whispered softly but it was poison and danger, a promise of death if Duke Romanov didn’t comply as he realized you were serious and he grew frightened of you “If you want your reputation to be untarnished and live a long life, swear and pledge your loyalty only to King Nikolai Lantsov and agree to each and every one of his reforms and commands.”

“Do we have an agreement?” you queried with a kind and sweet smile that only an innocent angel would wear as you pressed the knife deeply into his torso. 

“Yeah! I promise on my mother’s grave!” exclaimed Duke Romanov who was now growing pale and starting to look slightly dizzy. 

“Wonderful. The deal is the deal. Oh, and I suggest you confess what you said to the King privately right now and apologize to him unless you are looking for a much painful punishment from me.” you replied with a gracious and angelic smile pressing the knife harder and deeper into the torso as the Duke moaned in suffering and agony. 

“Spectacular. Thanks for the dance, darling. We should do it again sometime.” you said charmingly with a laugh, your eyes glinting with dark and malicious intentions as you kissed the Duke’s cheek and took your knife away hiding it from sight letting the Duke breath as he wore a horrified and terrified expression at the thought of meeting you again.

You grinned as you sashayed away from the Duke who was gulping in air and you raised an eyebrow at him. He immediately almost ran toward Nikolai clutching his stomach as he said something to Nikolai who looked confused but granted him a private audience as they went to another room. You followed them discreetly and pressed your ear to the door as you listened to the Duke confessed what he had done and apologize profusely to Nikolai who responded with icy silence and then granted forgiveness in a cold charming manner that had a veiled threat in it as the two men started to talk politics and negotiations. You slipped away quietly back to the party with a satisfied and happy grin on your face because this party was not quite bad because it had been fun.

Kaz would have been proud of you. Your smile slightly faltered at the thought of him and your happiness seemed a bit dull. 

Before you could dwell on Kaz, you saw Nikolai striding toward the ballroom with a staggering Duke who looked terrified when you shot him a cold glare. Your eyes were on Nikolai, his golden hair like an angelic halo and his hazel eyes warm and bright like a fire, looking every inch of the King he was meant to be. You didn’t care whether he was a bastard. He cared about people and about his country. That was enough for you. 

You saw slight exhaustion creep into Nikolai’s eyes at seeing a gang of ladies approach him as he seemed to force a charming smile. You didn’t know what came over you but the next thing you knew, you had marched toward Nikolai and dragged him away from those vultures who wanted him all to themselves. 

Nikolai was completely surprised “What on -”

One of the ladies simpered in displeasure “Hey, we were just going to talk to -

“Your Highness, you have impeccable timing, I was just looking for you! We do not have time for flirtations, there’s an urgent situation requires your attention.” you exclaimed with a bright smile as you took his hand and dragged him through the ballroom “Follow my lead.”

Nikolai replied playfully with a bright grin “With pleasure. I love the view.”

You rolled your eyes at him not seeing Zoya and Genya throw each other gleeful looks while you took Nikolai out to the gardens and let go of his hand as he queried curiously “What is the urgent situation? Has your favorite plant died?”

You rolled your eyes at him amusing him “I thought you might need rescuing since you seemed to be tired from being charming.”

“You think I’m charming?”

“Really? That’s all you hear?”

Nikolai grinned widely as he stepped toward you with a sincere and teasing glint in his hazel eyes as he murmured “Just admit you wanted to be with me alone for tonight.”

You felt something erupt in your heart as your cheeks blossomed with warmth “You are the most - most ridiculous, proud, thick - headed prat I’ve ever met!”

“You’re not denying it.” replied Nikolai playfully enjoying riling you up because your fierce scowl and fiery spark in your eyes enchanted him. 

“Fine. I deny that I wanted to be alone with you.” you snapped in exasperation as you felt something bitter sting you as you averted your eyes away from Nikolai “Go, shoo! Go away and be with the beautiful princesses who would make perfect queen for Ravka!”

Nikolai smiled slightly as he realized that perhaps you were jealous but he thought it best not to bring it up as he replied gently “But they mean nothing to me because I have eyes only for the most divine goddess who is standing in front of me.”

You blushed as you felt Nikolai stare at you intensely with burning desire and reverence. Nikolai had been waiting for you to enter the party and when you had arrived, he was struck breathless and enchanted by you. You were always beautiful and lovely but tonight you were a magical goddess who had stepped out of his dreams who drove him crazy. Nikolai had wanted to go talk to you immediately and dance with you all night but the business of protecting Ravka and keeping its interests afloat came first as he made conversation with ambassadors, diplomats, noblemen and ladies charming them and ensuring their loyalty to Ravka. 

Nikolai could not stop staring at you all night because you had bewitched his heart as he stared at you smiling brightly dressed in an off the shoulder rosy pink floaty and soft ball gown with long sleeves embroidered with glittering magical and colorful flowers. Your hair was braided sweetly with lovely waves of it curling down your shoulder, pretty pink and white flowers and purple butterflies tucked into it. You were the most beautiful, divine, magical creature Nikolai’s eyes had ever seen and if he had to define beauty, it was the very sight of you that made his heart soar in joy and gladness. 

All Nikolai wanted to do was to dance with you but he was crowded with people who wanted to talk to him and he observed you had a long line of admirers who you refused sharply amusing Nikolai at the sight of brave officers and noblemen being turned down by you and the rumors of you being a conceited little madam. He knew you weren’t conceited, you were just waiting for the right partner. 

And Duke Romanov... that had been bizarre. At first he had been completely jealous that you had made the first move and asked Duke Romanov of all people to dance with you but as the dance progressed, he noticed the odd relationship between the both of you. Later, after the dance, the Duke had been gasping for breath as he nursed slight wound on his torso that Nikolai pretended to ignore as he apologized to Nikolai and swore his loyalty to him.

Nikolai suspected that you had something to do with the sudden change of heart Duke Romanov had. 

“I had a strange conversation with the Duke Romanov.” began Nikolai nonchalantly and casually as he looked at you and observed a slight amused flicker in your eyes but you kept a deadpanned expression excellently. 

“Oh?”

“He apologized for disagreeing with all my reforms and believed that I was the King Ravka needed and deserved. So many flattering and kind things said and I wonder what made him change his heart about me.” said Nikolai casually as he kept a watchful eye on you seeing your lips slightly twitch but you wore a casual and deadpanned expression as if you had never heard of the Duke Romanov before. 

“Ah, well. Maybe the Duke had a change of heart.” you said cheerfully with a careless grin surprising Nikolai at how well you were hiding it. 

“It’s the strangest thing that a Duke who has disliked me for a long time suddenly had a change of heart after the dance with you.” stated Nikolai calmly determined to coax the truth out of you. “I could have sworn he was holding his stomach with great pain.”

You paused for a moment and then looked at Nikolai innocently “Perhaps he had a stomach ache? Maybe he had too many lemon pies? Eating too many lemon pies always give me a stomach ache -”

“So you didn’t threaten him?” retorted Nikolai exasperated and amused by your lively chatter. 

“How dare you accuse a lady of such scandalous acts, Your Majesty! You are disgrace!” you exclaimed dramatically as you placed your hand on your chest and fanned yourself with another hand pretending to almost faint making Nikolai laugh in amusement. “I am just an innocent lady who does not even know the dark ways of the world.”

“I’d be tempted to believe you if you weren’t part of the most feared gang in Ketterdam... the Crows.” retorted Nikolai with an easygoing grin as his eyes twinkled in joy. 

You decided to drop the act and put your hands up in surrender as you drawled carelessly turning from damsel to a survivor “Fine. I may have danced with him and... offered him a deal that was too good to resist.”

Nikolai raised his eyebrows at you and you rolled your eyes “The deal was he gets to shut his mouth about you and I get to keep my knife away from his major arteries.”

Nikolai’s jaw dropped in shock at the thought of you actually threatening Duke Romanov for protecting Nikolai as his eyes widened in amazement “Why did you do that?”

“I was bored at this party and I wanted to have some fun.” you replied carelessly and nonchalantly as you looked away from Nikolai who felt disappointed and hurt as he looked away from you because how could he ever think he could be special to you?

“And because... because you’re my friend and I don’t want to see you hurt.” you whispered softly and gently with a kind and shy look in your eyes after a long moment of silence as you gazed at him earnestly, a warm protective feeling blooming in your heart.

Nikolai’s eyes widened in wonder and surprise because he was shocked that you cared so much him to do such a dangerous and chivalrous deed to protect his honor and reputation as he suddenly felt breathless and warmth spread across his cheeks as he replied after a long moment “I... you... thank you. You don’t know how much this means to me but...”

Nikolai was speechless trying to find the right words to articulate how he truly felt about you in that moment but words failed him as you smiled softly at him “I know you don’t have to answer to me... but is it true?”

Nikolai halted, his breath hitching because he had thought you heard the rumors surrounding him and believed them. He had not expected you to gently ask about him greatest shame that he hid, waiting for him to tell you the truth from his own lips instead of believing the liars and clowns making noise. 

It was hard to confide this vulnerable insecurity that had defined so much of himself in his life to you who he adored and worshiped. Because you were so wonderful and kind and deserved someone so much better than a bastard who hid his truth and worked so hard to be loved by wearing different masks. 

And yet, as he stood feeling your calming and gentle presence in this moonlit garden, he felt exposed and vulnerable, shy and terrified to let his guard down to the one person who might understand him. 

But the world has lied to you enough... you deserved the truth. 

“Yes. It’s the truth.” the words slipped softly, in a semblance of a whisper as he looked away from you feeling shame and insecurities as he heard Vasily laughing, Nikolai Nothing. “Born a bastard by a Fjerdan sailor and a Ravkan queen who was neglected by her husband in wedlock. It’s who I am, Y/N.”

His voice cracked, broken and hurt seeping through it as he felt the words he left unspoken vibrate in the air “It’s who I have always been no matter how good of a show I put up.”

“Now you know that I am not who I am... you are free to decide what you should do.” said Nikolai quietly, his voice solemn but a hint of pain and hurt seeped through it as he squared his shoulders just like a soldier bravely would before stepping into a battle of bullets. 

The silence seemed to stretch for a long moment and Nikolai realized that you must have left him. Of course, that was the wisest course of action. Nikolai felt his heart sink into a deep, cold, dark pool of self - loathing and heartbreak as he realized you hated and were disgusted by who he was. Who could blame you? Who would want an unlovable bastard, a nothing who pretended to be somebody to befriend and love?

But he was surprised when your arms wrapped around his waist hugging him tightly as you stood on your tiptoes behind him, your chin resting on his shoulders as he felt the curve of your lips tug into a small smile, your voice full of warmth, gentleness and reassurance “Don’t be silly, Nikolai. I’m not going anywhere.”

Nikolai felt time stop as he realized you were still here, still with him and had chosen the real and true him as a lump of emotion swelled in his throat as you said lightly “I happen to like you very much just the way you are, you ridiculous boy.”

Nikolai smiled involuntarily as he felt warm and loved without any strings attached as he closed his eyes and placed his hands on top of your hands that were wrapped around his waist, pulling him into a tight hug as he felt happiness erupt in his stomach “Y/N... you know this means, I’m not nobility. Not really.”

Nikolai knew he had to face you as he turned around to look at you. You were stunning, kindness and thoughtfulness etched on your face as you stared at him softly with an open heart. He couldn’t understand why you had not left him here all alone. Nikolai didn’t understand why you had seen the real him and still stayed with him, embracing him warmly with a light hearted and reassuring words that made him feel that nothing was going to change how you felt about him no matter his insecurities and truths that were revealed. 

People always left. Why weren’t you leaving?

“Nobility is not defined by our family lines. It’s defined by our actions and how we honor others.” you said drawing yourself up straight in a poised and dignified manner as you looked at Nikolai in gentle reassurance and quiet understanding and your lips quirked into a smile “You are silly and ridiculous... but out of every aristocrat and royalty and nobility I have seen... you have proved to me that you are the true definition of nobility because you earned the title, the throne and crown by your actions and caring for people... not by a royal title you took for granted.”

Nikolai’s eyes widened in surprise as he stared at you in wonder and amazement, his heart thudding loudly as he realized that you didn’t care about his birth status quo and you believed that he was worthy of being called noble as his eyes filled with gratitude “Coming from you, that is high praise.”

You smiled softly at Nikolai as your eyes twinkled in kindness as you replied sincerely and earnestly as you took a deep breath “You are ridiculous, condescending, absolutely annoying, insufferable and -”

Nikolai raised his eyebrows “Excuse me, I thought we were having a moment?”

“All I know is for your many faults, you are honest, courageous, strong, true and kind - hearted and you are on your way to becoming the greatest king Ravka has ever known.” you stated quietly with a solemn and contemplative expression with belief glimmering in your eyes that surprised Nikolai who was stunned and speechless “I don’t care whether you are a bastard or a noble. It doesn’t matter who we are born as. What matters is who we decide to be. And you have chosen to be a king who wants to make Ravka a safer and better country.”

Nikolai who felt the air knocked out of his lungs at the sincerity and belief in your eyes felt speechless until he managed to retort “I didn’t know you believed in me so much.”

“Trust me, I can hardly believe it myself.” you replied with a good natured grin, your eyes twinkling in amusement and honesty.

Nikolai let out a huff of laughter as he felt your hand brush against his gently and he felt electrified and excited, the butterflies coming alive. He wanted to take your hand in his but he felt terrified. 

He had never felt this way with anyone. Why on earth was he nervous to take your hand?

Saints, was he sweating? 

“Get it together, Lantsov,” he commanded himself sternly “You’ve faced Fjerdan bullets and pirates and death and the Darkling. This is nothing compared to that.”

You looked over at him with those pretty eyes and he instantly knew that everything he had faced was nothing compared to you. 

“I suppose it’s hard to believe that there are people who believe and accept me for who I am. I’ve grown up with servants whispering rumors in front of me about my birth... my father who never cared about me because he knew who I was and my brother who taunted and laughed at me because I was not his blood.” said Nikolai taking in a deep breath, trying to articulate everything he felt as he found himself confiding his deepest secret in you easily, suddenly finding that it was easier for him to breathe “ I never belonged anywhere. Maybe that’s why I ran away and became Sturmhound, the dashing privateer. I wanted to find somewhere I belonged.”

Your expression was one of pure curiosity “Had any luck?”

“I’m not sure yet.” replied Nikolai quietly and softly as he stared at you hopefully, his eyes filled with adoration and aching longing for you and you felt yourself blushing as you realized what he meant. Nikolai smiled slightly as he sighed “All I know is... court is not where I belong. They all smile and pretend to love me but they all know the truth and gossip about it. It... I pretend it doesn’t hurt but it aches sometimes and that’s why I do everything to make up for it.”

There was a long moment of silence and Nikolai felt as if he was the drowning man who had suddenly been pulled to shore by you. He had confided his status in Alina who had comforted him with sweet words. But he saw you furrowing your eyebrows thoughtfully with a small smile you wore when you thought of something deep and smart. 

“You’re spending your entire life trying to make people happy. It’s good to care about others but not at the expense of yourself. Don’t try to make up for it or apologize for who you are to those who gossip about you. Be a king... be a leader and tell everyone what you need them to do. Show them who you are... the bastard who earned the right to become the King of Ravka.” you said passionately and truthfully to Nikolai who was taken aback your sharp wit and wise insight that was not comforting but truthful and inspiring to him.

“You know... there are times, when you display a sort of... I don’t know what to call it.” said Nikolai with a strange and thoughtful expression and then looked at you with a small soft smile “But it is... I’d say you display a strange sense of wisdom laced with sharp truth.”

You blushed as you looked away feeling admired and good enough as you smiled shaking your head and he looked at you with a bright twinkle in his eyes, his spirit renewed “I suppose then... being a bastard isn’t that bad because it has earned a point in my favor from you.”

You laughed as you looked at him and breathed with a shy and sincere smile “By the way, I like you when you’re like this. When you are just being yourself without reservation, without trying to please anyone.”

Nikolai felt warmth and happiness burst in his heart as he blushed “It’s too easy to be myself when I’m with you.”

You blushed as you looked at him admiringly and affectionately, full of amazement and protectiveness for the boy who had grown up with demons in his head and yet chosen to be kind and courageous. You felt terrible and admired Nikolai for growing up in a palace where he felt he did not belong, struggled to define himself outside the rumors and earn the love of his family and people when it should have been given unconditionally to him. 

You thought of a lonely boy who craved for acceptance and love, running away to fight in the front lines facing danger and death and becoming a privateer to find a semblance of a family could have at some point decided life was cruel and become a monster who was filled with bitterness and anger. And yet, Nikolai had faced the world with a bright smile and maintained a kind heart and a courageous soul to fight for the good of the world. 

You thought of Kaz who was completely different to Nikolai, Kaz who was full of vengeance and cruelty but his heart was still in the right place to people he cared about. You wondered whether Kaz could have chosen to be kind or whether he chose to become the Bastard of the Barrel to survive in this world and define himself by vengeance. But it was useless to ponder on such questions. It was what Kaz had needed to do to survive in the Barrel, right? If he hadn’t become the biggest and baddest of them all, he would have surely died. 

But yet looking at Nikolai, flickers of doubt started to tug at you. Could someone be full of hurt and pain and fight their way to the top while maintaining a semblance of kindness? What if Kaz had chosen to be a little kinder and softer, would he have loved you? 

There you were thinking of the Bastard of the Barrel again. 

And why on earth were you thinking of Nikolai again?

Your hand had unconsciously flown to your necklace as you were thinking of Kaz when Nikolai inquired curiously interrupting your thoughts “What’s that?”

You realized you were stroking the ring Kaz had given you and blushed a beetroot red in embarrassment as you stuttered “It’s - it’s - um - it’s my engagement ring. Saints! I mean - uh fake engagement ring Kaz gave me when he pretended to be my husband.”

“I see.” said Nikolai quietly feeling his heart break at the mention of you still wearing something Kaz Brekker had given you. It felt as if Kaz Brekker found a way to remind Nikolai that you were not Nikolai’s but Kaz Brekker’s girl. “May I see it?”

You nodded after a flicker of hesitation as you let Nikolai step closer toward you, his fingers lightly brushing against the skin of your neck electrifying you as he grasped the ring gently and examined it curiously and after a moment replied sassily “It’s nice. Not the ring I would have chosen for you. May I ask as to why you are still wearing it?”

“It’s difficult to explain.” you said biting your lip with a troubled look in your eyes as you looked into Nikolai’s quiet and gentle eyes that waited patiently for you. “The truth is... I don’t really know why I’m still wearing this ring after everything.”

“I know it’s over with Kaz Brekker and I know he will never love me. I know it was a fake engagement that I was stupid to believe was real. But for some reason... I keep holding onto this ring he gave me because... it’s special to me.” you said softly and thoughtfully as you thought of Kaz whose lips pulled into an unnoticeable soft smile when he looked at you and whose eyes glinted in amusement and affection whenever you made a joke. 

You looked at the silhouette of the crow as you traced the R engraved on the ring, blinking back tears with a heavy heart “It’s like - like I’m not ready yet. I’m not ready... I’m scared to take it off because I don’t know what will happen to me if I do. Because deep down, I know if I take if off, it will mean that I’m saying goodbye to everything I shared with Kaz Brekker. It’ll mean that all the memories, the good and bad times, everything we shared was all wrong and fake.”

“I’m just trying to hold onto the memories... I’m trying to hold onto him for as long as possible with the desperate hope that he see me one day.” you whispered, smiling amidst the pain and hurt you had tried to drink away tonight but resurfaced when you thought of Kaz. 

You took a deep breath as you stayed silent with Nikolai who looked at you feeling pain and hurt strike his heart at how much you loved Kaz and wondered whether there was a chance you could ever love him back as he said after a long moment “Y/N... I know you love Kaz Brekker and that bastard is incredibly lucky to be loved by you... but Y/N, are you really going to wait your whole life in tears and pain for him to see him while he ruins every moment of your life that you could be living the way you want to? Y/N, you’re trying everything to prove to him that you love him but he has only made you end in tears and heartbreak.”

 It was the truth you didn’t want to hear as you glared at him but he remained unaffected and steady, offering you the truth instead of sweet lies. 

“You are an amazing person. You care about his feelings more than yours. But you’re not holding onto him... you’re holding onto the pain because that’s all you have left. You deserve to let go and think about what you want and put yourself first. You deserve to be free and happy.” said Nikolai earnestly and honestly as he looked at you sincerely as your gaze softened with sadness and surprise because you had not thought of it “I hope one day... you’ll find yourself brave enough to let him go instead of clinging to a bastard who treats you poorly and breaks your heart. I hope one day... you’ll let yourself breathe and live for yourself.”

You were speechless as you realized Nikolai had spoken the truth that reached into the depths of your saddened soul that suddenly felt quietly inspired and Nikolai smiled gently “Until that day... I’ll be standing by you every step of the way.”

You were speechless as you stared at him in wonder and quiet surprise because it felt so strange to have a person care for you so deeply that he would tell you the real truth in a way that inspired, motivated, understood and comforted you. You didn’t know if you could ever let go of Kaz Brekker, let go of this overwhelming heartbreak and sadness you felt and wondered whether there would ever be a day where it would happen. 

“You’re right. But it feels impossible. Because he still has a hold on me. He always will.” you said weakly, your voice wavering in exhaustion and pain as you looked at Nikolai whose face was etched with concern. “He is more than the boy who broke my heart. He is the boy who saved me. And I know there is something in him worth saving too.”

“At the expense of your own happiness and good health?” queried Nikolai softly and gently, his heart clenching in hurt for you. “Saving him while you drown in despair and pain?”

You froze feeling angry and hurt, stung by Nikolai’s words because he had always been kind to you. You liked Nikolai because he was always full of kindness, comfort and goodness. He was never harsh and unkind. Now Nikolai was spitting the cruel truth to your face unflinchingly, remaining unaffected and steady as he took a dig at your deepest pain.

It felt as if he was patronizing you, believing that you would always be the girl who would drown in despair and hurt out of your love for Kaz Brekker. It felt like he was almost laughing at your deep love for Kaz Brekker and thought of you as a foolish, silly girl for clinging onto Kaz and not letting go. It was as if he thought he would be the one to save you from the grave you had dug for yourself while hiding his amusement at how deep you had fallen into your grave. 

It felt hurtful. It felt patronizing. It felt condescending. 

Most of all you just felt angry that it was Nikolai who was trying to help you when it should be Kaz Brekker who should be there for you. You wanted to yell in pain because there was so much pain searing in your heart. You wanted to kick and stab someone in your anger. You wanted to lash out at Kaz Brekker for making you this girl who was on your knees, weak with love for him. But Kaz Brekker wasn’t here and you lashed out at the only person who was here for you. 

“Don’t you speak to me again, you condescending, patronizing prat! You know what, I shouldn’t have told you anything thinking you’d understand!” you snapped angrily burning with rage that you wanted to unleash on Kaz Brekker but you shoved Nikolai instead hiding the tears in your eyes “Don’t - don’t ever come near me again!”

You blinked back the harsh tears that threatened to fall down your cheeks as you ran away wanting to be alone. You didn’t even know where you were going as you ran through the graveled paths, deeper and deeper into the gardens, feeling humiliated and heartbroken. You cursed the Bastard of the Barrel who had broken your heart and kept on hurting you over and over again. 

You breathed in the beauty of the night frozen in time right where it was left but before you could take a better look, oncoming footsteps drew your attention immediately. The air grew cold with fear and anticipation as you stiffened preparing yourself. The footsteps came closer to you but you were ready to take down the intruder who threatened your peace and probably life as you turned around and landed a punch on the intruder who groaned in pain, kicking him in the crotch as he doubled down in pain and wasted no time as you efficiently got him in a headlock, one of the knives you had drawn from under your dress glinting in the moonlight as you pressed it lightly on his throat. 

“Don’t beg for mercy. I have none.” you whispered dangerously and quietly “Who are you and who sent you?”

“It’s Nikolai Lantsov, the King of your heart! Saints, you are so murderous... do it more.” whispered Nikolai huskily with a flirty smirk under your grip as he breathed, his heart beating rapidly. 

You couldn’t believe your ears as you realized the mop of blonde hair and the smooth and flirty voice belonged to no one except Nikolai “WHAT? WHY ARE YOU HERE?”

“I came here to see if you were okay but obviously that’s not important anymore.” groaned Nikolai under your grip because you still had not released him out of shock as he let out a gladdened and lovestruck sigh “Could you choke me tighter? I’m loving where I’m right now.”

You released him blushing at the sexual innuendos he was implying as you glared at him fiercely while he brushed his coat regally as he coughed, slightly red in the face and you snapped at him in exasperation “OI! I told you to stay away from me!”

Nikolai looked quite calm for a man who had just been punched, kicked and nearly strangled to death as he replied rubbing his reddened cheek and nose with a cheeky smile “I didn’t listen.”

You raised your eyebrows at him knowingly in exasperation “You do that quite a lot.”

“That’s why you like me.” retorted Nikolai with a cheeky and bright grin, his hazel eyes twinkling in knowing and amusement. 

“Who says I like you?” you retorted in annoyance and irritation but for some unfathomable reason, warmth flared on your cheeks as your stomach flipped. 

Nikolai only responded with a wink and a good humored grin that made you feel shy and conscious of yourself as you looked away from him. You were still angry but not at him. You had been irrational and cruel to the very person who was trying to help you because you had been too busy drowning in the depressing thoughts of Kaz Brekker, the boy who broke your heart. 

“I’m sorry.” you blurted out quickly because guilt nagged at your mind and heart at lashing out at Nikolai who had looked hurt at your words. “I’m so sorry. You weren’t patronizing or condescending, you were trying to help and - and I was angry at Kaz but I took it out on you. I don’t expect you to forgive me but I want you to know that I’m so sorry.”

Nikolai wore an inscrutable expression that scared you because you didn’t know what he was thinking. Nikolai stepped toward you and looked deeply into your eyes. In a moment, his expression softened into one of forgiveness and gentleness as he smiled softly and kindly as he caressed your cheek tenderly “You are always forgiven, beloved. I’m only glad that you felt safe enough to take it out on me.”

“I don’t deserve a friend like you.” you said, your voice cracking in heavy emotion of disbelief and shock as tears sprung into your eyes at feeling the depth of how much Nikolai cared for you, a person who didn’t deserve it. 

“Y/N, I’m terribly sorry but I am exactly who you deserve.” replied Nikolai with a bright and tender smile understanding that you had acted out of grief and not out of malice

He wiped away your tears and pulled you in for a warm hug as he wished that you would see that what you deserved was standing right in front of you, holding you in his arms and after a long moment he said softly “I want to understand you. Why were you so angry when I suggested you should let go of Kaz Brekker?”

“Because - because for all his faults, Kaz Brekker is the reason who I am today. Kaz was the first person who believed I wasn’t weak. Kaz showed me that I’m a dangerous and powerful girl, a force to be reckoned with!” you exclaimed passionately as you looked at Nikolai, your heart beating with pain and reminiscence of Kaz teaching you how to survive in the Barrel and advising you when you fell down, believing in you when you were frustrated with yourself and looking at you with that rare approving and happy gleam in his eyes when you performed extraordinarily well. 

Your voice cracked as you felt broken and wrong “Without him... who am I? I don’t know who I am without him. I’ll be nobody if he didn’t see me.”

Nikolai was shocked because that was not what he expected out of you but as he looked at you, his heart pounded in pain and understanding for you as he said after a moment “When I became the King of Ravka, I believed I didn’t deserve my throne. Not truly. Because it wasn’t me who had extinguished the Fold and brought peace at last. It was the Sun Summoner, Sankta Alina who everyone believed in me that achieved the goal. I thought I was nothing without her. I wouldn’t have made it that far without her.”

“That’s not true.” you said immediately because you knew it was wrong immediately “You are a great King. I’ve seen how you are as King. You care so much about people that you bled for them in the battlefield, you smile and give them hope for a better future and you’ll do anything to hold everything together to stop your kingdom falling apart. The people might have had faith in Alina but you’re the one who rallied them all together and gave them hope for a better future, a better Ravka with a King who would not repeat the failures of the past.”

Nikolai felt moved as his heart swelled with gratitude and surprise at being seen by you and felt a lump of emotion swell in his throat as he replied after a moment “Well, you seem to be full of compliments for me today.”

“I don’t give compliments. I tell the truth.” you said with a scowl making Nikolai chuckle and you punched him in the arm playfully “Stop, you’re going to be so insufferable now!”

“Well according to you, I’m already insufferable and I’m never going to stop being insufferable with you!” exclaimed Nikolai with a teasing grin as he hugged you with a heart full warmth and happiness as you squealed at the sudden hug but welcomed it with a laugh. 

You both laughed together and as the laughter subsided, Nikolai looked at you seriously “You think of me so highly, with so much of faith. You believe that I was equally important as Alina. Why don’t you believe the same about yourself? Why don’t you believe that despite Kaz Brekker, you have always been a strong girl who had a fire within you and kind heart? A girl who would find a way out of the darkness into the light?”

“I - I -” you stuttered in shock and disbelief as you racked your brains trying to find the answer but you were lost for words as you stared at Nikolai who was gazing at you in utmost faith and complete belief. 

“The answer to your dilemma is the same as mine.” stated Nikolai gently and firmly after a few moments as he caressed your cheek gently and softly, his fingers tingling feeling sparks of joy at the contact “You are who you are in spite of Kaz Brekker. Kaz Brekker may have shown you what you can do but everything you did, all the challenges you faced, all the times you won and became stronger after each battle.... all those achievements are yours and yours only. You never needed Kaz Brekker to become great. It was him that needed you.”

You were speechless as your heart pounded loudly and your thoughts raced frantically as you tried to remember. You tried to remember who you were in Ketterdam before Kaz Brekker had entered your life. It was murky and the memories began to resurface in wisps but you remembered being untethered and free, unemployed by the Bastard of Barrel. You remembered you were a girl who had a deceivingly calm composure, a charming smile and an instinct to observe sharply and react at the right time.

"I remember." you murmured softly as you remembered how you would blend into the crowd and be a ghost, a different version you needed to be to deceive others in order for you to gain information and help people and the sharp perceptiveness and curiosity you possessed with the spirit of wanting to make a difference.

You remembered how you helped people with your skills, finding out where there missing children were, who their spouse was sleeping with, helping children in abused homes flee to a safe place, investigating deaths and disappearances as you found yourself tugging on threads of cruelty and corruption in the city, finding proof on people who were wrongfully convicted to be set free. You had done some good, reunited friends and family, saved lives and made people smile again as they owed you debts of gratitude before Kaz Brekker came to your life.

You weren't powerful but you were dangerous and strong in your own right.

Had you really forgotten that?

"I had forgotten who I was before him. Now I remember... little bits and pieces of it." you murmured in wonder and reminiscence as you looked at Nikolai feeling incredibly shocked and taken aback that he had helped you find a part of you that you had almost lost.

Nikolai smiled as he realized that you were slowly beginning to find yourself "It would be an honour to know who you were before Kaz Brekker...but you're not obliged to tell me."

"Perhaps one day... I'll tell you when I remember everything." you murmured softly, your eyes quietly and gratefully promising him.

“I shall count days until then.” said Nikolai earnestly with a lovely smile that made your heart skip a beat as you suddenly realized how utterly and completely beautiful he was. “That’s the beautiful thing about letting go... you get to create your new beginning and find a new dream.”

“A new dream...” you murmured, the very sensation of it feeling strange to you as you thought of the novel idea of letting go of Kaz and leaving Ketterdam to find something different and new, a dream of your own that you didn’t yet know. “That’s sounds lovely. What’s yours?”

“What?” queried Nikolai in alarm and surprise because he had been too busy staring at you lovestruck and lost in dreams of holding your hand in his and dancing with you. 

“Your new dream. You told me once that you dream of a Ravka that will never fail its people. But you must have your own dream... a new dream?” you inquired curiously as you looked at Nikolai wanting to know everything about him because this boy who shouldered the burden of a nation with a heavy golden crown smiling brightly but had such vulnerability and kindness to him that you had not seen him display in public fascinated you.

You saw him smile hesitant and reluctant to reply as you nudged him “Come on! I can see you have your dreams. I won’t laugh, I promise.”

“I dream of you...” thought Nikolai longingly his lips tugging into a smile of affection and adoration as he gazed at you. But his heart beat rapidly, and he felt too scared to confess the overwhelming enormity of his affection for you because he could lose you forever. 

And yet he wanted more than anything for you to know his dream that he hid from the rest of the world.

“I have a dream... an unfulfilled and new dream that I persist on dreaming it even thought it seems like it can never come true. I dream of a happy home, with laughter of children who are loved more than they know, friends who will always be there and... a  wonderful wife with whom I am deeply in love with and share a blessed, happy and blissful relationship that will always stand through adversity” said Nikolai slowly and softly as he gazed at you, his hazel eyes burning with meaningful longing and aching hope that frightened and excited you as you inhaled a sharp breath “I dream about holding her hand and growing old together, dancing in the rain and spending our lifetime together full of adventures and love unburdened by meaningless things.”

You suddenly felt an aching in your heart as you felt the warmth and beauty of the vision that Nikolai had painted and you felt a sharp jab of pain that you didn’t understand at the thought of Nikolai living this beautiful dream with another girl as you replied softly and sincerely “That’s beautiful. I hope your dream does come true, Nikolai. I really hope you find someone that you will live your dream together.”

“I have found her. But I’m waiting for her to see me.” said Nikolai quietly and sincerely after a moment as he gazed at you intensely with worship and affection and your cheeks flooded into a warm red as you realized what he might be implying and you simply didn’t know how to feel about that “She’s smart, a fighter, loyal, and has this heart full of kindness and love. And she’s so enchanting. I feel like since she came to life, I have begun to hope and dream more than I ever did."

"But you know, she's rather rude, punches me in the nose, nearly stopped me from producing an heir and gets mad at me when I try to show her how I feel and completely in love with this guy who doesn't understand how awesome she is." said Nikolai honestly and sincerely, his heart pounding as he took a risk with his feelings and glanced at you who had frozen and yet was smiling in amusement, your eyes glinting in pain and worry "I wish she could just see me."

You were silent as the loudness of your heart mingled with the aftermath of his veiled confession hit you hard like a ton of bricks. You liked Nikolai. You really, really liked him. For all his flaws, he had become your rock and your safe place without you even realizing it from the moment you had met him. Nikolai was a good man and a friend who you cared for so much but you couldn't and didn't feel this way for him. You could never love Nikolai Lantsov the way he wanted you to love him.

But hopefully, he wasn’t talking about you. He was Nikolai Lantsov, the King of Ravka! He met many people on a daily basis! You weren’t special to him! 

Yes, that could be it. It wasn’t you he was talking about. It was another girl whose name you didn’t want to know and face you never wanted to see. 

“Well... she sounds completely awful. There’s a chance she’s going to break your heart and make you cry. You shouldn’t have hope. It’s dangerous and clouds your judgement.” you said sternly and quietly as you felt your own experience and memories surface “If she doesn’t see you, you should move on and find someone better. Don’t wait around for someone who won’t see you.”

“Maybe hope is dangerous and foolish. But whenever I’m with her, I know I’ll wait an entire lifetime for her to see me.” replied Nikolai softly with a gentle and yearning smile that made you feel hot and you tried to push away the thoughts that perhaps he was talking about you “She’s worth the wait.”

“Oh my Saints! You are absolutely lovestruck idiot! What if - she breaks your heart and falls in love with someone else? What if she doesn’t love you back and goes on with her life?” you exclaimed as you slapped Nikolai in his chest as you were exasperated and annoyed at him for liking this hypothetical princess so much to the point of giving up everything “Mark my words, I speak out of experience... you are setting up yourself for heartbreak with this princess of yours.”

“Consider your words marked, Oh Wise One. I love her so much that a part of me doesn’t care if she loves me back. Her happiness is way worth more than making her mine.” said Nikolai as he gazed at you lovingly tucking a strand of your hair behind your ears “All those princesses chasing me doesn’t mean a thing because there’s only her.”

“You really love her, don’t you?” you asked feeling self - conscious, praying to all the Saints that the girl wasn’t you.

Nikolai’s smile of longing, affection and sadness was enough to answer your question as you smiled quietly, feeling a slight stab of pain at the fact that it wasn’t you despite the gladness “Well... I just think this girl needs some time to see what’s really in front of her.”

Nikolai’s heart fluttered with dangerous hope as he saw you gazing at him sweetly and gently with an aching sad yet quiet longing and understanding as he felt breathless but you grinned up at him with a new idea in your mind.

“Oh!” you exclaimed in wonder and childlike awe making startling Nikolai who jumped back at your energy “Oh, I know! You’re Sturmhound, the pirate, right? Tell me everything!  I’m dying to know all about it! Is it really true you have a flying ship?”

“Darling, I’m a privateer. That is an important distinction.” said Nikolai grinning at your enthusiasm as he regaled you “No, it’s not true about me having a flying ship.”

You looked so disappointed Nikolai wished he hadn’t said that as he corrected you with a proud smile “I have a fleet of flying ships.”

“Saints! Why did you become a privateer? Other than running away to find where you belong?” you questioned eagerly and curiously, hungry to know about his life as a privateer. 

“Well, a prince is a songbird in a golden cage. A privateer has freedom to decide his own fate and find where he belongs. I loved my life at sea that gave me freedom but I always planned to come back to Ravka.” stated Nikolai with a sincere and quiet smile. 

“Tell me about your adventures! What was your favorite one? I’m dying to know all about it! Have you really traveled all over the world? Is it really true that you deceived the Darkling and hunted the Sea Whip?” you questioned, your eyes bright with curiosity and wonder as you looked at Nikolai with enthusiasm.

Nikolai was one to boast of his adventures and yet he was uncertain as to where to begin with you but the questions you fired at him eased him into a direction of describing his adventures on sea where he sailed with his crew, fought pirates, explored different lands, got into trouble and had extraordinary adventures. You had different questions bubbling with eager curiosity that Nikolai was only too happy to answer as he felt content speaking about his time as Sturmhound that he cherished. In return, Nikolai was full of questions about your life and role in Ketterdam with the Crows and you provided colorful and vivid descriptions of stories of dark danger, near death experiences and amazing adventures and heists that you enjoyed being part of greatly with your friends who you loved. Both of you talked endlessly and comfortably with each other about your lives, full of curiosity and respect for each other, eager to learn from and understand each other. 

You both had lost track of time as you talked and laughed with each other as you nudged him “I’ve always wanted to be a pirate. I’ve always thought being a pirate would be so fun! Not just a pirate but a captain of the most feared pirate ship! But it’s a silly dream.”

“As a privateer, I am deeply offended at your remark, my lady.” replied Nikolai pretending to be offended as he grinned easily “Why is it a silly dream?”

“Well, I’m not a pirate. I don’t know how to sail. I don’t have a ship. Pirates are not taken kindly by pompous privateers.” you retorted with a teasing grin as your eyes twinkled with good humor making Nikolai laugh in amusement “And I can’t leave Ketterdam.”

Nikolai knew that she truly meant that she couldn’t leave Kaz Brekker and looked at her with a smooth and sincere smile “I’ll teach you how to sail one day. We’ll go out on the ocean and have our great adventure. And one day, I have a feeling you’ll become an infamous pirate who everyone knows of. And don’t worry love, I hope you become a pirate because when you conquer the seas and try to attack me... I’ll be on my knees begging for you.”

You blushed bright red at what Nikolai implied as you found no proper sentence in your brain that had stopped functioning as you finally snapped to a grinning devilish Nikolai “Do you - stop doing that!”

“What? I like it when you blush.” replied Nikolai wearing an innocent expression but his eyes were twinkling with a devilish gleam. “You would look so amazing in a pirate’s outfit...”

You snorted in amusement as you shook your head at Nikolai “You have a set of strange kinks rooted in deep seated desires, don’t you?”

Nikolai’s eyes glimmered in amusement “I am more than happy to demonstrate my list of kinks to you.”

“No, thank you, please torture someone else.” you replied coolly as you shuddered while Nikolai threw his head back in laughter. 

“Well, I could do that but it’s so fun to torture you.” replied Nikolai playfully as he blushed when you brushed against him, his skin setting on fire with desire and longing. 

“Bold last words for a man who is about to lose his spleen.” you replied darkly as you glared at a laughing Nikolai trying your best to scowl but you found your lips twitching into a small smile. 

Nikolai shot a challenging look to you “You don’t even know where my spleen is.”

“Don’t test me, prat. You’re tempting me to prove you wrong.” you said with a wicked grin as you stepped toward him with glimmers of danger sparkling in your eyes.

Nikolai stepped back as he placed his hands in surrender and fell to his knees “Oh Captain Y/L/N, please spare my spleen and my life! In exchange, I’ll give my heart to you!”

“You are absolutely ridiculous!” you exclaimed trying to hide your blushing face as you tossed your hair and started to walk away. “Absolutely mental!”

“You always walk away when we have an emotional moment, darling!” exclaimed Nikolai loudly and dramatically while you controlled your amused and delighted laughter as he ran toward you trying to catch up with you. 

You shoved him lightly and playfully as you shook your head at him fondly as he said after a moment of silence “Do you think that’s your new dream? Being a pirate?”

“Maybe. I don’t know.” you said softly as you were lost in thought “All I know is being a spy. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Good spies don’t let anyone they are spies.” said Nikolai cleverly as he looked at you. 

You winked at him “The greatest one don’t need to hide themselves. It’s up to you to play the game with us.”

“You can never trust a spy. And a spy can never trust anyone. It must be a lonely existence to be detached from the rest of the world.” said Nikolai honestly and smartly as he looked at your serious and solemn expression. 

“No. That’s where everyone gets it wrong.” you said with a clever smirk as you looked at Nikolai who raised his eyebrows in curiosity “The best spies have a trick... a trick that always helps them win in the end.”

“What is it?”

“Now if I told you, I wouldn’t be much of a spy, would I?”

The trick was to figure out who could be trusted in this world. Trust is a double edged sword. It could be used to your advantage when needed. You had learned that it is a lonely existence to live without trusting anyone because to live without trusting anyone meant to live without people who would back you up when you were in trouble. That’s what most people got wrong. They believed trusting no one protected them. Knowing who to trust and when to use that trust to your advantage, that’s what truly protected and empowered you. 

“Can I trust you?” queried Nikolai curiously with a twinkle in his hazel eyes. 

“If you like.” you answered vaguely with a playful smile as you looked over at him with an amused twinkle in your eyes. 

Nikolai knew about you through what Nina had told him and he wanted to know more about you “Nina says you’re one of the best spies she’s ever known. Why do you like being a spy?” 

“Well, you can always pull the grandest con, and perform dazzling magic tricks to steal what’s most precious to people... their secrets while flirting with life and death and being absolutely forgettable to the people who have the memory span of goldfish.” you said airily and calmly with a clever and witty smirk that amazed and enchanted Nikolai who could see your charm, beauty and cleverness played a part in making you a spy who could get away with anything. 

“Is this a con?” asked Nikolai feeling slightly insecure because he believed that you wouldn’t lie to him but your nature as a spy and his position as a king put them both in an awkward position. 

To his surprise, you weren’t mad and offended but grinned “Finally, you’re thinking like a real king would. You tell me... do I seem like someone who would trick you?”

“You seem like someone who enjoys tricking anyone as long as you are in charge of your own fate.” replied Nikolai lightly and perceptively, his hazel eyes burning with longing and admiration as he looked at you. 

You looked at him in surprise as you nodded in agreement “You do know me.”

“You still didn’t answer my question. Is this... our relation - friendship real?” demanded Nikolai, his voice slightly wavering in insecurity and uncertainty even though he still held onto the belief you wouldn’t trick him but the ghosts of his past haunted him. 

You realized this was important to Nikolai as you took a step toward him and placed your hands on his shoulders, your eyes intense and sincere as you whispered softly “You are... you, Nikolai Lantsov... is the only person who I don’t want to be dishonest with. You terrify me because you are the only person who makes me feel like a girl who is seen... not a spy who hides away wearing different masks.”

Nikolai couldn’t breathe, he was certain he was having a cardiac arrest. Maybe this was a dream... a really good dream that he didn’t want to wake up from. This couldn’t be real because there you were holding him as he inhaled the soft notes of your perfume that haunted him, as you looked at him earnestly and sincerely with complete vulnerability as you told him nothing but the truth. He couldn’t describe the relief and joy that flooded him as he heard those blessed words fall from your lips, glad that this was real... not a trick cruelly played on him. 

“You’re beautiful.” whispered Nikolai breathlessly as he stared at you adoringly and reverently, because you were his Saint who he worshipped and believed in “You are absolutely divine.”

You felt your heart stop and your breath quicken at how intensely adoringly and affectionately Nikolai was gazing at you as if he had never seen anyone and anything as beautiful as you are as you felt self conscious and shy full of denial “Nikolai...”

“No, don’t you dare say that you are not beautiful. I only wish you could see what I see, Y/N.” whispered Nikolai huskily and softly as he reached to slowly caress your cheek, igniting shivers that ran down your spine as you held your breath “You are so enchanting that I feel you’re a Goddess in an impossible dream that the Saints have chosen to torment me, you dangerous girl.”

You couldn’t breathe or think but only felt Nikolai worship you with all consuming reverence and admiration, overwhelming adoration and affection that was only reserved for beautiful Goddesses and pretty princesses. You felt fragile and beautiful, precious and important as your eyes fluttered shut to feel and live in this moment that felt so wrong because Nikolai was your friend and yet, selfishly, you wanted something more from him. 

You didn’t understand this feeling. 

Your eyes fluttered open as you gazed at Nikolai with curiosity and shy nervousness as he stared at you as if there was nothing compared to you and he smiled, the sight of you making him weak “Y/N... I have something to show you... something that I want to share with you.”

Perhaps you should have refused because you loved Kaz but thoughts of Kaz Brekker eluded you in that moment as you stared at Nikolai, a shy boy who offered his hand nervously yet resolutely to you, waiting hopefully for you and you smiled widely as you took his hand in yours, your fingers intertwining perfectly and gently with his fingers that held onto your hand as if he couldn’t believe this was real. 

Nikolai Lantsov thought he was going to faint and die of happiness when you took his hand with that enchanting smile. Oh Saints, he was going to die before he married you if you kept looking at him with that soft and kind look in your eyes, as he felt the warmth of your hand radiate in his.

You looked at Nikolai who looked calm and composed wearing a joyful smile but internally Nikolai Lantsov was screaming happily and jumping up and down in excitement. 

In companionable silence, Nikolai led you toward a stone wall with lovely white roses curling on it as an old wooden door awaited you. Nikolai opened the old wooden door that creaked with welcome and chivalrously let you enter and stepped in closing the door as you looked around the garden. 

You breathed in the divine beauty of the garden that was frozen in time right where it was left. There were pillars and walls covered with green and dark vines and creepers of purple, pink and pure white flowers. There was a bubbling fountain with an ancient statue of a pretty lady holding a puppy in her arms. There was a untamed and untended wilderness of bushes and trees full of vividly wild and colorful flowers beyond your imagination that took your breath away. As you tumbled through the rusty gates and grand arches, you saw a old table with fine china tea set and napkins that had been long used covered in leaves and wilted flower crowns lying on the table. You smiled when you spotted a simple and ethereal childish tree house lodged on top of a tree. There were ponds and fountains everywhere in this vast garden and as you made your way through a garden of brightly colored cherry blossoms, you saw two swings with pretty flowers curling around the rope as they faced the view of a beautiful shimmering lake.

It was absolutely breathtaking. It was as if Nikolai had realized you were losing faith in fairytales and helped you step into this magical, ancient, wild garden that was timeless and beautiful in it’s own way, haunted by memories and ghosts. 

“It’s... it’s a fairytale!” you exclaimed in amazement and wonder as you looked at Nikolai who smiled widely and softly squeezing your hand gently “Nikolai... it’s magnificent!”

“This is my secret spot. It’s special to me. This is where I come when I want to be alone.” said Nikolai quietly and sincerely as he saw you look at him in surprise and wonder “You’re the second person I’ve been here alone with.”

“Not the direction where I thought this was going.” you said lightly with a chuckle feeling surprised and moved that he brought you to a place where he wanted to be alone and slightly jealous of the person who was here with Nikolai before you.

Nikolai laughed happily as he led you to the swing where you sat down feeling childish and playful and Nikolai sat on the swing next to you, with a reminiscent and bittersweet smile, his expression thoughtful and sincere as he looked over at you as you both giggled swinging like kids on the swings. 

“This used to be my favorite place in the world... this was mother’s secret garden. She suffered neglect in her marriage and wasn’t always happy but this was where she was the happiest, I believe.” said Nikolai honestly and reminiscently as the words suddenly spilled out of his mouth, remembering his mother who he had been fond of but had to exile. Nikolai didn’t notice you stiffen in surprise at the shocking revelation as you realized that this place was sacred to him. “Where we were the happiest together. She was the first person who I arrived to in this garden.”

“No one had time for me but when my mother had time for me, she’d bring me here. She used to say it was our magic garden where nothing outside mattered at all in here.” said Nikolai with bittersweet reminiscence as he stared at the shimmering lake shining under the moonlight remembering how he had given his mother heart attacks when he jumped into the lake and swam.

“We had the best times in here. I remember we used to spend hours playing hide and seek, building the tree house, laughing on these swings and having tea parties. She called me her sobachka.” said Nikolai with a fond smile as he felt the good and warm memories engulf him like a tidal wave, his heart feeling the pang of bittersweet “After I... after I exiled her because of how she violated her duty... I haven’t been here since then. But it’s just how I remember it. The fountains, the trees, the flowers, the swings... like nothing has changed. Not true, of course. Everything has changed. If I could bring my mother here, she wouldn’t recognize most of it because I haven’t had anyone touch this place. She wouldn’t recognize me.”

“I know it won’t mean much but I am sorry.” you said softly after a long moment of stunned and speechless silence where you had been shocked and moved by Nikolai’s vulnerable and real revelations of his childhood he confided in you “It must be hard.”

“It was the right thing to do for Ravka. If Ravka is to change, it must start with me.” said Nikolai steadily and strongly, no hint of vulnerability and insecurity noticeable but you observed a hint of exhaustion hidden deeply in those wonderful hazel eyes. 

“Well, that’s good for the King of Ravka. But... you are Nikolai, a man with a beating heart that feels deeply.” you said quietly and observantly, gentleness and understanding etched onto your face as you looked at Nikolai “You’re only human.”

“Well, sometimes the man does contemplate on his past and feels... feels human. Fragile and breakable and remembers too much and feels too much pain. Losing my mother who really knew me meant gaining Ravka. I just didn’t know it would be this lonely and painful.” replied Nikolai as he blinked back the tears that sprung into his eyes at how you could see through his act and smiled shakily “But I try not to dwell on the past but focus on the future with hope.” 

You didn’t have any words for him because you were not certain that any amount of words could comfort him as you stayed silent patting his back gently as he brushed away his tears “I didn���t come here after the war. I didn’t want anything changed in this garden. I don’t know why.”

“Well, it’s because this garden is sacred to you. It’s full of memories with your mother who you loved and didn’t live up to your expectations. The only person who knew and accepted you at the time. You’re holding onto her the only way you can... you’re holding onto the pain and grief because that’s all you have left.” you said sincerely and softly after a long moment of silence as your hand rubbed his back gently, your eyes warm and understanding repeating Nikolai’s words to him. 

Nikolai who was stunned at how you put his feelings into words properly found himself smiling brightly through his tears “I love it when you quote me.”

You both chuckled as silence reigned over you and you quietly reached over and slowly took his hand in yours surprising him. You held his hand in yours tenderly and gently, hoping he would understand that you were there for him as you smiled warmly at him, giving him hope and courage. 

“This is the first time I’ve been here since exiling my mother... with you. I wanted - I’ve hidden this place for so long but I wanted to share it with you.” confessed Nikolai sincerely with a rosy blush as he stared at you adoringly and reverently with a warm smile “Sometimes the bitter past is sweeter when you share it with a very special person.”

You couldn’t stop smiling happily as you squeezed Nikolai’s hand tightly because this felt precious to you. This was Nikolai laying down his armor and letting down his guard with you as he shared something incredibly intimate and sacred to him with you. It felt as if Nikolai trusted you with his heart to show and tell you something so private and special and you felt honored. You promised yourself you wouldn’t break this trust that felt precious and beautiful. It was nice that he had shown who he was rather than who he pretended to be to everyone. 

You were rendered speechless with emotion and Nikolai gazed at you with a warm smile “I want you to have this garden. This is yours as much as it is mine now.”

You began to protest because this was Nikolai’s sacred place and you couldn’t take something so precious to him when he shook his head and silenced you “Please. Don’t say anything. Just know that this garden is yours to enjoy now.”

You felt touched as your heart filled up with such emotion at how Nikolai easily made you feel important. It was as if he was gifting a piece of him to you hoping that you would cherish and protect it. As both of you sat in swings, swinging in silence occasionally talking and laughing with each other. Nikolai felt the air grow colder as the sky grew dark with storm clouds but he didn’t want this night to ever end. And he knew he would regret it for the rest of the life if he didn’t say these next words. 

“Y/N... it would give me the greatest pleasure if you could do me the honor of - uh - um -” stuttered Nikolai nervous and shy as he gazed hopefully at your beautiful and kind face full of curiosity and anticipation, your eyes dancing with mischief and surprise as you looked at him make a fool of himself in front of you “Uh - that is to say - I want - I mean, will you do the honor of -”

Okay, this was going terribly and Nikolai wanted the earth to open and swallow him as he saw you raise your eyebrows at him. You probably thought he was having a stroke. 

You looked at him softly in pleasant surprise and hope, your eyes full of light and warmth as you completed what he had begun “Dance with you?”

“Yes... that’s exactly it!” exclaimed Nikolai letting out a breath of relief feeling like a complete idiot in front of you because the corners of your lips twitched slightly but your eyes were full of fondness and surprise “Will you please dance with me?”

You grinned brightly as you nodded your head in agreement. Nikolai’s hands were shaking as he placed his hand gently on your waist. He had to force himself to stop screaming in joy when you held his hand and placed your other hand on his shoulder, as he felt breathless at how close both of you were. The light distant notes of the music in the ball echoed as both of you started to dance together.

You wanted to look away but there was something so magnetic and enticing about Nikolai, something that you hadn’t seen before. You had danced before as you remembered how you had attacked Nina who was a phenomenal dancer to teach you how to dance for your first mission. Nina had been surprised as to why you wanted to learn how to dance quickly but she had taught you well along with Jesper. You remembered how Nina would instruct you over and over again while Matthias encouraged you, Jesper and Inej teased you while Wylan played the piano as Kaz’ lips twitched in amusement at how spectacularly you were failing.

You had become quite a proficient and graceful dancer in time thanks to Nina’s and Jesper’s tutoring. For your missions you had danced many times at different galas and balls with countless partners who didn’t have any rhythm or pushed you around the dance floor instead of guiding you. You had never danced with someone that wanted to truly dance with you and cherish the moment. You had never experienced this thrilling, enchanting feeling of being wanted and safe in someone’s arms while spinning and twirling. 

You didn’t understand why Nikolai was smiling at you so beautifully and why you felt so safe in his arms. 

“What are you doing?” you asked Nikolai because you wanted him to undo whatever he was doing to you.

“Dancing with you, love.” said Nikolai with a bright grin that made your heart pound in excitement and thrill. 

“Why aren’t you dancing with the rest of the princesses who are waiting for you?” you queried careful to keep any hint of jealousy or hurt you might have felt out of your voice. 

“Because I only want to dance with you.” said Nikolai softly and gently with such sincerity and earnestness that you were rendered speechless and then his eyes twinkled in delight “Though I must admit, I am flattered you granted me this dance. I observed you breaking the hearts of every eligible gentlemen at the ball tonight by refusing to dance with them.”

You scowled making Nikolai grin in amusement as he spun you around as you said “They didn’t really want me. And besides, I didn’t want to dance with any of those men with terrible breath and egos larger than their dicks.”

Nikolai couldn’t stop laughing outright as tears of delight and happiness sprung into his eyes “You have such a unique way of saying things. A poet in your own right.”

You laughed as he drew you closer to you as you felt dizzy in a good way. His touch on your waist, his hand holding yours radiated comfort and warmth, a promise of safety that was never going to be broken. You didn’t feel as if you were guided by him, Nikolai was a good dancer who had perfect rhythm and didn’t push you around the floor. Dancing with Nikolai felt as if you were floating on air, your feet light and blissful as you craved for more, wanting to dance with him under the moonlight forever. 

You both could hear the distant melody echoing from the palace ballroom as a singer’s voice crooned from a distance “No, I won't be afraid, no, I won't be afraid just as long as you stand, stand by me.”

You could feel your heart beat fast as you looked at Nikolai who held you like a promise as he looked at you with such staggering affection and sincerity twirling you around as he caught you in his arms with a gentle and loving smile as the singer crooned “So darlin', darlin', stand by me.  Oh, stand by me Oh, stand Stand by me, stand by me.”

This moment felt intimate and quietly blissful. You looked at him and saw his face expressing nothing but steadfast promise to always be there for you no matter what. A lump of emotion formed in your throat and you knew in that moment that this ridiculous, beautiful, wonderful boy would always have you and nothing could ever change the fact that you would stand by him.

Nikolai felt blessed as a man to hold you in his arms and dance with you tonight as you smiled at him with that smile you smiled when you felt truly happy and content. He had never felt this way about anyone. Nikolai cherished this moment as you rested your head on his chest, swaying gently and Nikolai swore his heart beat skyrocketed at the fact that the woman he loved, who was incomparable and wonderful was in his arms resting his head on his chest. 

You took in a deep breath as you looked at Nikolai shyly “I’ve never done this before.”

Nikolai was confused “Danced?”

“No. I mean, I’ve danced with plenty of men who think they are the greatest of all time. But I mean, I’ve always danced for missions, for the purpose of completing a task. I’ve never had the pleasure of enjoying and having fun at a dance... I’ve never danced with someone I like who likes me back.” you confessed feeling foolish and shy as you averted your gaze at the last moment, blushing at confiding your little secret to Nikolai. 

“Then I shall endeavor to make this night unforgettable.” said Nikolai honestly and gladly, happy that this was the first time you were dancing properly for fun without any purpose and it was with him. You had chosen him. “May I ask what’s made you like me?”

You shot him an exasperated glare that made him smirk widely in amusement “Really? I can’t believe you. I might just step on your feet.”

“You wouldn’t do - OW, SAINTS MY FEEBLE FOOT!” exclaimed Nikolai who had begun teasing you but regretted it the very moment your high heel poked him in the foot very sharply “Alright, it’s a mercy all those men survived dancing with you.”

Nikolai regretted the words slipping out of his mouth because the moment he said that, your high heels stamped him with vengeance “OWW - FOR THE LOVE OF RAVKA - HOW THE HELL DID YOU MANAGE TO STEP ON AND INCAPACITATE BOTH OF MY FEET, WOMAN?”

“I’m really enjoying this dance. It’s so fun!” you exclaimed with a wide grin amused and delighted at Nikolai’s dramatic reactions and you grinned brightly when he shot you a childish and petulant look.

“Oh yes, laugh at my pain. You sadistic she - devil, you enjoy others pain so much.” retorted Nikolai surly trying to be serious and petulant but you were laughing outrageously and his lips twitched happily “My poor, poor, feet.”

“You are a war hero and you cannot survive this dance?” you queried sweetly as you batted your eyelashes.

“You remind me of a cavalry horse who stepped on the feet of officers who he didn’t like.” said Nikolai as he nursed the pain in his foot and then realized the ungentlemanly tone of what he had said as he quickly scrambled “I beg your pardon Y/N, I didn’t mean to imply you were heavier than a cavalry horse -”

But you were laughing in amusement as you shook your head fondly at Nikolai. You felt really happy and alive and wondered how many moments in your life you felt this incandescently happy. You remembered the memories with the Crows where you felt the thrill of undertaking a new adventure, the moments shared with Kaz that you thought meant something but this moment with Nikolai felt very different and special to you than the rest of them.

The lightning flashed in the night sky and the drops of rain began to relentlessly fall down upon you. You couldn’t help but smile as you hugged Nikolai in happiness as you felt the raindrops soak you thoroughly but you didn’t care as you and Nikolai laughed and danced in the rain. Thunder grumbled and lightning flashed as the storm raged on but you both were perfectly happy as you ran through the gardens childishly and laughed happily and danced joyfully and happily in each other’s arms because there was nowhere else you both would rather be. 

And late into the morning as both of you stumbled into the castle giggling and Nikolai walked you to the palace, his coat draped over you, you realized you hadn’t thought of Kaz Brekker at all when you were with Nikolai and most importantly, you didn’t now care as much as you did before. It felt strange and new as you looked at Nikolai rambling about a new invention of his and your lips tugged into a soft smile at how your cheeks were aching from smiling and your stomach hurt from laughing so much. You had missed being happy. 

Perhaps every long lost dream and every time your heart broke was a northern star that had guided and led you to Nikolai Lantsov, the man who had a heart full of kindness and love.

You didn’t want to think about falling in love again, but you were glad to have a true friend who understood you in ways that no one ever did. 

And when Nikolai saw you off at your chamber, you looked at him with a strange and quiet look in your eyes as you said “Thank you. For tonight. It was everything.”

Nikolai smiled enchantingly as his eyes twinkled with affection and longing for you “You are welcome. But I must thank you for making this ball the best night of my life.”

“Go inside and get warm. I don’t want you catching a cold.” said Nikolai fussing over you as he took his handkerchief and started to use it as a towel as he scrubbed your hair in worry trying to dry it while you snapped at him and freed yourself.

“Oh stop fussing!”

“Oh, pardon me if I didn’t want you to get sick!”

You laughed as you looked at Nikolai gratefully and warmly as you suddenly threw your arms around him and hugged him tightly because there was this very warm and happy, aching and loud emotions flooding into you as you whispered to a very surprised Nikolai who hugged you back “I think I finally believe in Saints.”

Nikolai held you protectively and caringly in his arms as he whispered huskily “Why?”

“Because they led me straight to you, Nikolai Lantsov.” you whispered softly and reverently, your voice full of emotion in a sacred prayer, a whispered secret uttered in a room. 

Nikolai felt breathless and speechless as his brain stopped functioning for a moment as he processed what you meant as you buried your head on his shoulder for a moment because if you didn’t want to let him go at all and wanted to stay in his arms forever where it felt safe and right and real. 

But you broke out of the embrace as you looked at a stunned and speechless Nikolai, his eyes shining with glimmer of joy and hope as you leaned up and pressed a soft and sweet kiss on his cheek, your lips lingering on his skin very briefly and then smiled “Good night, Nikolai. Sleep well.”

Nikolai stood outside your door frozen in shock because you had just proclaimed that you believed in Saints because of him and had kissed him on the cheek. His hand hovered over the spot where your lips had softly and briefly lingered, his cheek growing warm as he replayed that moment in his head over and over again. He was grinning widely like a fool, frozen in time and swore never to wash his face again because he didn’t want your kiss to be washed away. Everything was just perfect and beautiful and magical in the world because Nikolai had the most magical night with the woman he loved. And now, he dared to truly hope that you might have feelings for him too. 

Nikolai wanted to scream from the rooftops. Nikolai wanted to dance joyfully. Nikolai wanted to run. But he felt it all as he stood frozen for a long time outside your door. 

After a few moments, Zoya came marching through the corridors and fumes were coming out of her ears when she saw Nikolai soaked wet, standing frozen as she scolded him “YOUR MAJESTY, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? You were completely missing, no note! You could have died! You could have - Nikolai? Nikolai? Saints, you’re not moving! Are you alright? What happened?”

Nikolai grinned loopily, looking like an insane lunatic “My dreams are coming true!”

Zoya raised her eyebrows at Nikolai wondering if he had slipped and knocked his head hard when she realized that he was standing in front of your chambers and Zoya had to resist the urge to gasp out loud in surprise as she replied calmly “Nikolai... what the -”

“She kissed my cheek, Zoya!” exclaimed Nikolai letting out a squeal of delight and Zoya shushed him immediately because she didn’t want him waking you up “Aaaargghh! I can’t believe it!”

Zoya dragged a lovestruck Nikolai who was over the moon away from your chambers as he mumbled and waxed poetic about how divine your eyes were but Zoya hid a smug smile as she muttered under her breath “I’m winning that bet, Nina.”

And Nikolai Lantsov who was absolutely enchanted by you would toss and turn restlessly in his bed until he sunk into a deep slumber bewitched by beautiful and sweet dreams of you.

Taglist: - 

@cleverzonkwombatsludge

@khaleesihavilliard

@mochinoms-doesart

@simrah1012

@hauntedenthusiasttragedy

@marissat1998

@queenofspades6

@xhaliemax

@ladespedidas

@angie-likes-to-read

@thatsassyhufflepuff​

@adajoemaya

@liliandodiaj

@unicornfairytail

@b1bbles

@luvly-writer

@geekmom3

@drinkfantasy​

@chickencouncilrep​

@justsomecreaturewandering​

@cruc1o​

@stickyfictioninwriting​

[frost-queen]

Shadow walker (Reader x Kaz Brekker)

Requested by: anon, Forever tag:@missmelodramatic, @merlin-dahlia, @alex--awesome--22, @elllie-does-the-posts, @floatlosers @merlieve,  @queen-of-books, @glimmering-darling-dolly,@denkisclown, @wildieflower, @meyocoko, @bubblybrianna, @justanothercoco, @subjecta13-thefangirl, @m-rae23, @harleyquinnswifeyfrfr, @swampthing07, @melsunshine, @panhoeofmanyfandoms, @venomsvl, @the-uncoordinated-house-cat, @rosecentury, @imagines-by-her,  @evilcr0ne, @vviolynn

Summary: Vampire!Au. Kaz has been around for a very long time and decides to tell someone his story. His eyes fall upon you a famous writer in Ketterdam. You become infatuated by his story. After his story you take your space from Kaz, yet he is always around. Lurking in the shadows for his heart yearns for you.

A gush of wind blew behind you, startling you. It made you gasp loud having turned around. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary till you saw the window frames thud shut and close. The curtains blowing up by the wind had gone in. Furrowing your brows you wondered how the window had opened itself. The candles on your desk got blown out, dimming your room in darkness.

You went around the desk to your window. Taking a hold of the frame, you had to use all your might to keep it in place. You quickly locked them. Brushing your curtains afterwards back in place. With a soft breath you took a step back. The soft creak of a wooden floorboard made you jump out of your skin. Someone was in your house.

Turning around you were pushed back in your previous position a gloved hand pressed against your mouth. Your eyes widened staring back into the eyes of a man. The gloves deafened out your scream when he pressed his hand harder on your mouth. His other hand behind your head to keep you in place.

“Calm down.” – he said as his pupils seemed to change sizes. Your muscles untensed as he slowly lowered his grip on you. With a simple nod he wanted to ask if you were okay. You nodded brief back unsure why you felt at ease around him. – “How did you get in?” – you asked as your voice didn’t match the panic in your head. Your head was screaming with terror at the stranger in your house, yet your body language was calm and eased. – “Take a seat Y/n.” – he suggested, motioning to one of your stools.

With a gentle touch on your elbow, he gestured for you to do so. Funnily you did. – “How do you know my name?” – you questioned as he clicked his tongue with a sway of his finger. He undid himself from his black long coat, laying it neatly over his arm. – “I have a story to tell.” – he simply said. You watched him hang his coat on your coatrack in the corner. Your room spacious but small. You practically lived and breathed there.

He then pulled a stool back across from you. It made you frown as you figured he would take a seat in your big chair behind the desk. The place where you would normally sit when working on the stories. Now he sat with you on the other end. The people’s side one would say. – “You have a hunger for stories right?” – he phrased with well picked out words. You hummed nodding your head. – “But office hours are…” – you started motioning with your hands as it was beyond your working hours that you met someone to interview.

The man turned his head to look at the night sky. – “I have unusual hours.” – he commented. – “Fair enough.” – you responded. The man’s stare was intense making you swallow nervously. – “What… what is the story about?” – you asked curious. The man looked briefly at his side as you followed his gaze. Against your desk stood a cane with a crow’s head on top. You hadn’t really noticed too occupied with the stranger in your house. Yet seeing the cane made you aware of who the stranger was. The man grabbed the cane, laid his gloved hands on top to lean and looked back at you.

“You’re… you’re Kaz Brekker.” – you concluded seeing him pull a smirk. – “So you have heard of me.” – he replied. You laughed once and loud as if he was telling fables. – “Heard? Sir you are most famous around  the Barrel. You sir have a reputation, Dirty hands.” – you pointed out. Kaz smiled. – “I do my best to keep it up.” – he said back. His comment made you chuckle as it took his attention. – “You… you said you have a story to tell? What is it about?” – you asked. – “Me.” – he spoke. – “Precisely about how I became the monster I am.” – he phrased making you quirk your eyebrow up.

“Monster? Sir?” – you asked to verify. He reached for your desk pulling your notebook and pencil closer to him. – “You’ll need paper to write.” – he offered it to you as you accepted it with two hands. You placed the notebook on your lap, curious to what he would say. – “I have done things I can’t speak off, Things I tried to wash off but can’t.” – he started. – “Sir, this is Ketterdam, we’ve all done things in order to survive.” – you responded. Kaz quirked his eyebrow up. – “But have you killed?” – he asked.

Your eyes widened as you took a hard swallow. – “Do not worry Y/n.” – he began seeing the fear in your eyes. – “I won’t harm you. You have to write my story so I still need you.” – he held his hand up to show you how innocent he was. – “And on that note call me Kaz. If I am going to tell you my entire life story, we can skip the formalities around here.” – he smirked as it made you look flushed away. Something about that smile that made him more attractive. You gestured for him to begin as you settled in. Kaz turned his head towards the window, taking a deep breath. His mind drifting away back in time to when he was younger.

The sky was grey. The rain had passed but a gloom was still in the air. Ketterdam smelled as bad as it did now, or perhaps a bit better. Young Kaz with an innocent mind toggled along after his brother Jordie. Jordie took a deep breath, hands on his hips. – “I can feel it Kaz, this will be a new start for us.” – Jordie said making Kaz roll with his eyes. Jordie noticed it. – “What are you laughing at your brother?” – he teased going with grabby hands at Kaz.

Kaz jumped around when Jordie tickled his stomach hard, making him laugh. – “Stop!” – Kaz laughed out trying to sound serious. – “People are …watching.” – he  panted out jumping away from Jordie’s tickling hands. – “Who cares!” – was Jordie’s response. – “I care.” – Kaz replied setting his jacket well. – “Come!” – Jordie called out, motioning with his head.

“We’ve got work to search.” – Kaz came jogging after him to join his side. The first door Jordie and Kaz knocked on got smacked right back in their faces. The second door opened. Jordie cleared his throat. – “Good sir.” – he said taking a bow. Seeing that Kaz wasn’t bowing made him elbow Kaz in the side. He groaned in pain, lowering to a bow. The man in the door opening grunted loud with a huff.

“My good brother and I are looking for an employer. We are handy, fast and will come in handy to help out.” – Jordie spoke advertising themselves. The man laughed loud, his stomach shuddering with him. – “You two are to puny to do any lifting.” – he answered. – “Good sir we are not!” – Jordie insisted on. The man turned a bit inside the house, appeared back and threw a large thick sack at Jordie. Jordie caught it, bend through his knees as they wobbled.

He tried to stay upright but the weight took him under. The man laughed louder when Jordie was on the ground, the sack right on top of his chest. His arms flopped up trying to get up, but it was no use. Jordie helped Kaz to roll the sack of his chest. The weight released as he shot up, gasping for air.

“Like I said puny.” – he mocked with a laugh. Kaz helped his brother up to his feet, glaring at the man. – “Don’t worry Kaz.” – Jordie began ruffling his fingers through his hair. – “I didn’t want to work here in the first place.” He swung his arm over Kaz’s shoulder, leading him away. The next three, four, five doors were pointless. Each time they received a hard no. The door slammed in their face to turn them away.

By midday had Jordie half given up. He let himself slide against the wall down, landing on his bottom. – “This is harder than I thought.” -  Jordie said with a loud huff. Kaz kicked some tiny rocks away with his feet. It was then that his stomach growled. He noticed Jordie looking, trying to make it appear as if nothing had happened. Jordie wanted to speak when his own stomach growled too. He grabbed for it, laughing loud. – “What’s funny?” – Kaz asked. – “We’re starving an no one wants us!” – he proclaimed.

Jordie got up, placing a hand on Kaz’s shoulder. – “We’ll find something.” – the two of them went on. More doors slammed in their faces on their search for work, a housing and food. No one seemed to want them. Standing in an alleyway was Jordie exhaling loud. Kaz’s gaze drifted away to the commotion he was hearing.

A man being thrown onto the ground. A man, clearly a figure of authority simply snapped his finger when two men started to punch the man. They kept punching as the man was defenceless. Their knuckles coloured with blood. The man with clear power snapped his head at Kaz. It made Kaz gasp loud, stumbling a bit back. His gaze alluring even from this far.

He said something to the two man as they stopped. Cracked their neck and made their way over to Kaz and Jordie. Jordie who wasn’t paying much attention felt Kaz bump against him. – “What’s going on?” – he asked looking behind Kaz. Eyes widening at the two broad-shouldered men running towards them. – “Run!” – Kaz called out pulling Jordie with him. Kaz and Jordie ran in the alleyways.

The fog swirling up to their ankles. Looking over his shoulder, Kaz saw that the men were still chasing him. While they were running noticed Kaz a shadow on the rooftops. It was too dark to see who it was, but their posture was enough to cause him fear. Kaz pushed Jordie in another alleyway to try and confuse the men after them.

Passing a passage way, Kaz noticed the same figure from on the rooftop standing in a crossing. He pushed Jordie in a street to the side. How come he was this fast? Jordie came to a stop making Kaz lose his balance and nearly stumble forwards. Kaz’s eyes widened hearing loud footsteps on the cobble stone. From the fog appeared a figure, swaying a pocket watch in the air.

Appearing under a lantern, they could get a good look at him. – “Hello boys.” – the man said as Kaz’s eyes widened. It was the same man he saw before ordering the man to be handled. He leaned in closer to Kaz with a smirk. Kaz noticed two of his teeth were sharper than his others. – “I’ve heard you boys are looking for work.” – he said. Jodie swallowed hard. The man drew his hand, offering it to shake. – “Pekka Rollins.” – he introduced himself.

“Pekka Rollins!” – you called out.

“Yes.” – Kaz sighed out. – “Can I continue?”

You nodded giving him the room once more. Kaz took a deep breath taking a moment to be off from where he was.

Jordie shook Pekka Rollins hand.

“Big mistake.” – you interrupted with a snarky comment.

Kaz cleared his throat with a stern glare at you. You zipped your lips, sealing them to not interrupt anymore. Kaz sighed again before beginning where he set off.

“I’ll hire you.” – Pekka Rollins said (Kaz quirked his eyebrow at you, just to warn you not to interrupt) “Great…” – Jordie answered as Kaz elbowed his brother. Jordie chuckled sheepishly telling Pekka Rollins to give him a second. Kaz and Jordie turned around speaking in hushed voices. – “What is wrong?” – Jordie asked. – “I got a bad feeling about him.” – Kaz responded. Jordie took a deep breath.

“He’s offering us work Kaz. It will be perfect, just you wait.” – Jordie turned back around as Kaz didn’t felt done with talking. The bad feeling about this man still vivid. – “We’ll work for you.” – Jordie spoke. – “Excellent.” – Pekka Rollins answered with a grin. Kaz swallowed nervously, the bad feeling increasing by the second.

Pekka Rollins wrapped his arms around Jordie and Kaz, guiding them back to his house. So Jordie and Kaz were hired under Pekka’s name. They both signed a contract. The work was hard, but it provided them with food and a roof above their head.

For several years everything was normal. Till near the end of the year all changed. Jordie was working in the compound. Bringing in a new delivery that had come from the docks. Jordie was humming a tune whilst carrying a heavy sack over his shoulder. He dropped the sack with the others inside the compound when he heard voices. It intrigued but didn’t make him lose focus.

He began to whistle making his way back outside to the cart to bring in the next sack. It dropped down with a loud thud as the sound of a body being pushed against a metal structure made him lift his head. He heard more commotion. This time he was curious as it sounded like a fight. One where the other was nearly defenceless against his opponent. Jordie followed the sounds coming closer. He came to a stop, going in hiding when he saw the fight. Jordie couldn’t recognize them at first till a clear view made him widen his eyes. Pekka Rollins.

He grabbed the man holding in front of him. Keeping him still by his chin. Pekka laid his head back, opening his mouth. Lowering his head as he bit the man’s neck. He squirmed and shuddered as blood drained down his neck. Jordie gasped, clasping his hand before his mouth. Out of shock he had pulled back, but his action made a bucket clatter to the ground. He turned round looking in shock at the bucket. He hoped Pekka hadn’t heard it so he dared to look back.

Yet Pekka wasn’t around anymore. Only the body of the man on the ground. Jordie felt a gush of wind from behind making him slowly turn in terror. Pekka grinned making Jordie jump back against the wall. – “Noisy boy.” – Pekka said. – “Now I’ll have to kill you.” – Pekka continued. – “I’ll keep your secret.” – Jordie blurted out in an attempt to save himself. – “Jordie! Jordie!” – They both heard. Jordie’s eyes widened as Pekka smirked devilish. – “Oh you will.” – Pekka answered.

He grabbed Jordie, revealing his teeth. – “Jordie, Jordie!” – Kaz kept calling out in search for his brother. Jordie groaned in pain when Pekka’s teeth sank into his neck. He felt Pekka suck the blood out of his veins as he wanted to scream. Pekka covered his mouth with his hand to deafen it out. He then retracted his teeth with a refreshing gasp. Jordie grabbed for his neck as the blood kept dripping out. Staining his hands with the dripping wetness. Pekka then bit his own wrist.

Blood dripped out as he brought a finger to his lips, disappearing before Jordie’s eyes. Jordie already feeling weakly blinked with a lot of effort. – “Jordie!” – Kaz cried out running up to his brother. He immediately saw the blood. – “What happened? Who did this?” – Kaz wanted to know. His brother collapsed as Kaz knelt down, pressing his hand down on the wound. – “Help! Help me!” – Kaz shouted out. His cries for help interrupted by a force pulling his head back. Jordie tried to warn him but it had no advance.

A blooded wrist got pushed against Kaz’s mouth. It was so sudden he swallowed some of it. Unable to not taste it on his tongue. Kaz was choking on it. He was released as he fell forwards, setting his hands. Spitting out the last of the blood out of his mouth, in vain as the blood had already been swallowed. The blood made Kaz dizzy. His heart pumping faster then ever. Looking at his hands they appeared like a vibrating image. Jordie coughed as it caught Kaz’s attention.

He saw the blood between his fingers as it made his veins pulsate. Appearing as if he was slowing down or time, it was all unclear. The blood made Kaz lick his lips eagerly. – “Ka…Kaz…” – Jordie breathed out hoarse feeling his life slip away. Kaz had no ears for it. Hearing Jordie’s heartbeat loud in his ears. A drumming that was fading out. The smell of blood was overwhelming to his senses.

He looked at his own hands having the desire to lick the blood off it. Something was going on with him, yet he didn’t know yet what. – “Kaz…” – Jordie begged with tears in his eyes. Kaz moved his trembling hand down to his brother’s head. He closed his eyes for what he was about to do. It had become to overwhelming. Begging to be stilled.

Jordie’s hand faltered. Kaz printed his teeth in Jordie’s neck, sucking his blood. It filled his mouth with taste. Jordie was punching Kaz on his back for the pain he was causing he. He was rough and brutal. Kaz’s had no power to break it off. He kept drinking till he bit hard enough giving the final strike to Jordie.

Jordie’s hands stopped punching as they slid off Kaz’s back. Kaz lifted up his head, blood dripping down his lips. His eyes met up with Jordie’s lifeless eyes. – “Jordie?” – he said soft. – “Jordie?” – he touched his cheek for a response but none came. Wiping his mouth and seeing the blood on his hands made him suddenly aware of what he did.

What monstrosity he had performed. – “Jordie!” – he called out taking his body in his arms. Overcome with disgust and guilt. – “Nooo!” – he screamed out, sobbing loud at the loss of his brother. His dearest brother.

Your pencil dropped to the ground in shock. Kaz moved in his position, bending down to pick up your pencil. He carefully laid it on the notebook on your lap, full with scribbled words. Page after page. He looked away not sure how repulsed or frightened you would be. – “He…he did this to you. Pekka did this to you out of pure sport!” – you outed getting frustrated with anger.

Kaz turned his head back with curiosity to you. This was not at all the reaction he had foreseen. – “I knew he was the devil in man’s clothing but this tightens the crown.” – you spoke. – “So am I Y/n.” – Kaz answered. – “No!” – you called out. – “No! You are not! He took advantage of you and set you to his hand. That is different. You didn’t choose this but… he… he did.” – you went on. Kaz curled up a faint smile admiring you. He knew he had come to the right writer.

A beam of light fell on your wrist, making you turn your head to the window. The first signs of daylight coming through. Kaz saw it as well, yet he remained in darkness. – “I will continue tonight. I don’t want to keep you from your sleep.” – he spoke. – “I don’t need sleep when you have a story to tell.” – you responded.

“You are an ambitious writer but please Y/n.” – he placed his hand on yours. – “Tonight.” – you nodded dozily at his words. Looking at the window again, you took a deep breath. – “Ton-“ – you started but stopped seeing you were all alone. So it went on. Each night Kaz appeared in your house telling you more of his story. You learned a great deal of his character as he did of yours.

Sometimes you would interrupt him again in your enthusiasm or writer’s curiosity. The more you did it, the more he accepted it. Finding in a way cute and unique to you. By the end of the month you had his entire story written down in a chaotic mess. All that lasted was writing it to it’s full glory. Kaz and you had no contact anymore as he had nothing more to say. He had given you his story.

Regardless of the absence he was close by. Not for you to see, but he was there. Each night you went out, he was there. Watching you from the dark corners or from rooftops. Unable to keep away from you. Having been with you so intense for a month stirred up feelings with him. Not wanting any harm to come to you. Someone would just have to dare go near you or Kaz would handle them for you without your knowledge. Close, but not close enough. Afraid to ruin your pure heart with his devilish heart.

------------------------------------------

Read more of my fics on my Masterlists!  

[milarqui]

Scarlet Lady: Origins (Part 1)

Directory

That blasted girl! she thought. She had been the queen of this class of pathetic, poor peasants for years, and Dupain-Cheng, who was the worst of the lot, had somehow got a spine to replace the baguette she once had!

Baguette, ha! I kill myself.

Maybe that new girl, Cesar or whatever, had something to do with it, but she needed to make sure Dupain-Cheng got the message that no one got away with messing with Chloé Bourgeois, the Princess of Paris!

“I’ve got to get back at that upstart Marinette and Alya for talking back to me,” she muttered, and she looked towards the girl, who was distracted doing whatever homework she had missed, the clumsy idiot. And she also saw her bag - seriously, what a horrible thing, not even a Dior! - unattended to a side.

Struck by a brilliant idea, she carefully walked towards the bag and put her hand inside. Maybe she could find something she could use to put her down, back into her place. Her fingertips touched something wooden and polished, and when she grabbed it and pulled out, she saw that it was an eight-sided box that looked really old and expensive.

Hahahaha! This is probably an old family heirloom! she thought, crowing to herself with an evil smile. She’ll be totally freaked when she can’t find it! Perfect!

As she left back for her seat, Marinette remained completely oblivious to what just happened.

And would remain so for months.

----

Perhaps, if she had known what that act of thievery would bring her, Chloé Bourgeois might not have carried it out.

Perhaps.

But Chloé Bourgeois was never one to think on the long-term consequences of her actions.

----

Back home from that peasants’ building known as Collège Françoise Dupont, Chloé sat on her bed and picked the box she had purloined - not robbed, robbing is something those who are pathetic do! - and admired its colors. 

“A pity that this was wasted in that family of boulangers,” she said. “Let’s see what kind of treasure I won. Hee hee!”

And she opened the box.

----

Within the box, the kwami known as Tikki had been waiting for this moment for quite some time. Master Fu had shown her how her future holder, Marinette, looked and acted like, and she knew it would be a wonderful partnership. With Nooroo and the Butterfly Miraculous in the hands of someone who would use it for evil, someone needed to act - and who better than the girl that showed strength of character and compassion in every act?

The box opened. This was her moment!

“Hello, Marinette!” she said, smiling. “Please, don’t be afraid, everything’s--!”

The light that usually covered this kind of thing vanished... and she saw that the person in front of her was clearly not Marinette. Blonde, long hair in a ponytail, rather than black and held in pigtails. Blue, cruel eyes instead of innocent blue. Features of Caucasian ascendancy instead of Chinese.

Conclusion: Master Fu had made a mistake.

“WHO ARE YOU?!” Tikki screamed, trying to make a sense of what had happened.

“THAT’S MY LINE!!!” the girl screamed even louder.

----

Elsewhere in Paris, a boy by the name of Adrien Agreste had discovered a similar box, containing a ring and the kwami known as Plagg. After the terrible day he had had, with his attempt to finally go to school thwarted by Nathalie and his bodyguard, he had listened to the cat-like creature and jumped into the chance to become something he had always wanted to be.

A Superhero.

“THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME!!!”

----

He would regret those words soon enough.

----

Chloé couldn’t make heads or tails of what this little bug was telling her.

Going out there to fight some monster that had suddenly shown up?

"You’re the only one who can stop the Akuma!” the bug said.

As in, doing something sweaty?

“You use Lucky Charm to save the day?”

Helping other people? Her mere presence was enough to do that! She didn’t need to do like Majestia and waste her precious time in making people think they had any value beyond doing what she wanted.

“You have a partner?!”

And not even a way to claim the credit! No, she had to share it with some no-name peasant, and she couldn’t tell anyone she was the one that had saved their lives! No, she had to hide herself for whatever dumb, irrelevant reason the bug had mentioned, something about someone wanting to rob the earrings she had purloined from Dupain-Cheng.

But the bug was persistent. It kept pestering her until she agreed to it.

Well, maybe she could actually do something and bask in the love of the masses.

----

At the Dupain-Cheng’s house, Marinette thought she had earned a prize for finally telling Chloé off for being a jerk, so she had made herself some popcorn and gone to watch TV, where the usual programming had been replaced by a live newscast.

Un Super-Vilain Á Paris?

A giant creature, who for some reason the newscast had identified as Stoneheart, had shown up in the middle of the city, and was causing quite a lot of chaos.

“Stoneheart is moving toward the Montparnasse Tower!” Nadja Chamack reported, clearly shaken by the current events, as the titan punched a car and sent it flying several meters away.

“Sucks,” Marinette said, munching on her popcorn. Not like there was much she could do. If she were part of something like United Heroez, she would probably jump into action, but she was a civilian, so--

“The monster... seems to be unstoppable!”

And, as Stoneheart kept ambling towards its target, at the down left corner of the screen, Marinette saw something.

Or, rather, someone.

“ALYA!!! What are you doing?!”

----

How does Lois Lane always look so perfect when she does this?! Alya Césaire thought, panting as she pedaled behind Stoneheart. This could be the start of her journalist career!

----

“I’m starting to get the hang of this,” Adrien - no, Chat Noir, that was his superhero name - said, following the trail Stoneheart was leaving behind.

“aaaaaaaaAAAAAHHHHH!”

Pain.

Before he could react, someone had crashed on him, and now the two of them were tangled in some sort of thin rope and hanging upside down. And, as he recovered his sight, he was met with someone wearing a domino mask, similar to his, but red with black polka dots.

This had to be the partner Plagg had mentioned! Well, maybe he could break the ice and begin with a good joke.

“Well, nice of you to drop in!”

“Omigod, no.”

Seriously? Not even a smile?

Tough crowd.

The girl in red pulled on something, and the rope around them suddenly became untangled, causing them both to fall to the ground.

“Say, what’s your name, partner?”

“Why should I tell you?” she replied, with a tone that reminded him too much of his father talking down to someone else - usually him.

“I’m Chat Noir! Nice to meet you!” A loud noise reminded him that Stoneheart was still loose, and he swung back in action. “Come on! Stoneheart seems to be going for the Parc des Princes!”

“Stone-who?” he thinks he hears her say, but it might have just been his imagination. He didn’t pay it any mind.

It was time to be a hero!

----

Sabine Dupain-Cheng looked in shock as her darling daughter nearly crashed down the stairs and towards the door, a look of dread in her face.

“Marinette, where are you going? Lunch is almost over.”

“Out because my new best friend is INSANE!!!”

The bell clinked as Marinette opened the door, picked her bike and started to pedal westward.

“What’s going on here?” she wondered. Well, she would certainly learn about it later.

----

Chat Noir charged towards Stoneheart, his new staff - he could make it grow like Goku did, which was amazing - in hand, and attacked the creature, distracting it from the guy it was trying to attack.

BANG! the staff sounded as it hit Stoneheart’s head.

And then Stoneheart grew in size.

“Oh shit, he’s bigger!” he said, dodging an attack. “Where are you, partner?”

Looking around, he saw his partner standing at the top of the stadium.

“Ah, there!” Good, she could jump in and help him stop Stone- wait, was that a compact mirror?

She was preening in front of a mirror while he was here, risking his life?

“HEY!!!” he shouted, dodging another attack.

----

It looked like that mangy cat had everything well in hand, so she didn’t need to do anything at all! Whew! She could just stand here and let him do all the work, that was what peasants were for, after all.

“What are you waiting for, Super Red Bug?” a voice said from below, and Chloé Bourgeois turned to see the new girl down below, a cellphone in her hands.

“Ugh, you again.”

“The world is watching you!” Césaire said, gleaming and smiling.

“The world is watching...?”

Oh my god, this was perfect! She could jump in, easily put a stop to the monster and bang! Instantly famous! The adoration of all Paris was at hand!

She closed her new compact mirror and grinned.

----

Chat Noir was starting to feel that maaaaaaybe he was a bit over his head. Nothing he could do to Stoneheart could stop him, and it was a hard task to just keep dodging everything. And, of course, his partner refused to do anything.

Stoneheart had grabbed one of the goals with its gigantic left hand, and was clumsily attempting to swing it at him, but fortunately his years of fencing had given him the reflexes to avoid such a large object, and the suit was actually making him faster and stronger!

But then Stoneheart tossed the goal - and it was clear the target was not him, but a red-haired, dark-skinned girl that seemed to have followed them into the stadium.

Oh, no!! he thought, and he turned about to attempt to stop the large object from hitting the girl.

“ALYA!”

Before he could act, someone else, a girl with black bluish hair in a pair of cute pigtails, tackled the red-haired girl out of the way.

“You came!” the red-haired girl - Alya - said.

“Yeah, but why did you?!” the new girl replied.

Whew, crisis solved. Now, he had to find out how to stop Stoneheart, quickly, before it could cause further disruption.

“Cat boy!” the pigtailed girl said, and he felt her hand on his shoulder.

“It’s Chat Noir, actually!” he replied, turning to look at her - and wow, she was quite cute and blushing.

“He doesn’t open his fist!”

“Good note, thanks! Maybe you should be a hero!”

Anyone could be better than his "partner". Not that that was a high bar to surpass.

“Priorities!” the girl said.

----

Chloé could only see red. That blasted cat had said that Dupain-Cheng should be a hero? Ha! As if!

She jumped and kicked Stone-whatever in the head, sending it tumbling away as she turned to the cat and her classmate.

“WHAT DID YOU SAY?!” she shouted.

“Wow, wow, calm down! Maybe we need to use our powers to stop him? Cataclysm! My power destroys anything,” the cat said, his right hand covered in some sort of icky black thing.

“How barbaric. And useless. Like you.”

“Did I look cool?”

The cat thought he was cool? She wanted to laugh.

“Absolutely not.”

The cat grabbed the large net thing that had fallen nearby with his right hand, and suddenly the white on the stick became black, and in seconds the entire thing had disintegrated into dust.

She was sickened to have to admit it, but that trick left her hair standing.

“Jesus...”

“So, what about yours?” the cat challenged her.

You’re going to swallow those words, you mangy cat!

“Lucky Charm!” she declaimed. After a flash of pink, she felt something heavy in her hands, that seemed to be made of rubber and looked a lot like this unfashionable costume she was wearing. “Oh, ha ha, Tikki.”

“So, how useful is your power?” he taunted her, and she angrily threw the thing at him.

“Why not ask your other partner?!”

“You just don’t want to work,” he muttered. Well, of course she didn’t! Work was something someone as important as her shouldn’t be bothered with!

You’ll come crawling back to me once you see how useless Clumsinette is, she thought, grinning at the idea of her rival doing anything useful at all.

“Cat boy, run interference!”

“it’s Chat Noir!”

“Alya, the tap!”

“You got it!”

What.

----

Chat Noir followed the black-haired girl’s instructions. The moment he had given her the polka-dotted red wetsuit, she had immediately come up with a plan. It was a bit risky, particularly since he would have to let himself get captured, but something told him he could trust her.

His trust was rewarded. The girl had managed to trick Stoneheart into grabbing her and the wetsuit, dropping a purple rock from its closed right fist, and then Alya had opened the hose tap, filling the wetsuit to grow and forcing Stoneheart’s fist open. The girl had quickly jumped out, ran for the rock and stomped on it, letting out a black butterfly and a crumpled piece of paper.

And Stoneheart transformed back into a large boy that looked to be his age.

The girl picked up the note and ran for the large boy, shouting what he presumed was his name, as his ring began to beep.

“What’s the noise mean?”

“Dunno, I didn’t read the manual,” he said. Maybe he should have waited for Plagg to explain everything before transforming?

----

“Kim wrote it. He’s always making fun of me,” Ivan confessed to his classmate.

“Pa, don't worry about him. He cried when we saw The Little Mermaid when we were 10.”

He chuckled.

----

Chloé grabbed the rubber thing - now empty of water - and attempted to rip it, but it only stretched without giving in.

No one’s paying attention to me!

How could this be? She was Chloé Bourgeois! The Princess of Paris! Everyone’s eyes should be on her! All the boys should be in love with her! Everyone should worship her! But here they were, paying attention to a mangy cat and Bruel who got his dumb arse turned into a monster, instead of her!

Oh, wait. Tikki had said something about this, right? That she could fix stuff broken by the monsters with this Lucky Charm thing?

“Hey, reporter girl! Catch this! MIRACULOUS LADYBUG!”

The Lucky Charm transformed into a cloud of ladybugs that flew around everything Bruel had destroyed as Stone-whatever. In moments everything was back to its normal state - still below the quality she demanded of everything, of course.

“Whoa!!” Césaire said, and she rushed towards her, cellphone in hand. “Incredible! You can fix everything?! Hey, what do we call you, Wonderbug?!”

Now, that was closer to what she expected. Still not enough simpering, but closer.

“Well, obviously not that. Let’s see...”

----

Chat Noir was tired. Fighting Stoneheart had taken out a lot off him. And he realized that maybe the beeping was some kind of count down.

And then he heard his ‘partner’ proclaim to have saved the day ‘in spite of her clumsy partner’s inability to do anything right’.

“You... you didn’t do anything,” he muttered, astonished of her credit stealing. But then the beeping became more insistent and he left: he had to return home before someone noticed he wasn’t in his room.

Somehow, the beginning of being a hero had become nothing like he had thought it would be.

----

Fu sipped on his favorite tea, relaxing after a long day. Wayzz had reported that the negative energy of the Butterfly had vanished, which meant that young Marinette and young Adrien had managed to stop Stoneheart and captured the corrupted butterfly transforming him. Good. Ah, if only he were a few decades younger! He would have been able to go out there and guide the two young heroes in the matters of the Miraculous.

Wayzz clicked on the remote to turn on the TV and see if the news were mentioning anything about the attack.

“... our new hero, Scarlet Lady...”

He turned to look at the screen, only to notice something strange, because the girl wearing the Ladybug Miraculous didn’t resemble his Chosen wielder at all-

“... thanks to amateur footage by local student, Alya Césaire...”

-and then the screen showed Marinette and a red-haired girl he supposed was this Alya Césaire, smiling at the camera.

“Wait...” Wayzz said. The problem was clear: if Marinette was there in her civilian clothes, who was wearing the Ladybug Miraculous?

He barely noticed as his teacup crashed into the floor.

----

“So... her name is Scarlet Lady...”

Plagg was a bit disturbed by his bearer’s angry face. What in the holy name of Camembert had happened to leave him like he had gone a few rounds with trying to swallow some mushrooms?

“I’ll call her Scar for the scars she leaves on my life.”

Uh-oh.

----

Tikki enjoyed the cookies Chloé had offered her.

But she still wondered why she was here, instead of with Marinette.

And she remembered there was something she hadn’t explained.

“Did you catch the akuma?”

Chloé gave her what she supposed was what humans called the ‘deer-in-the-headlights’ look.

“Huh?”

Uh-oh.

----

Origins (Part 2)

@zoe-oneesama Hope you liked this.

[that-ari-blogger]

Duality Of Tone (Follies at the Coven Day Parade)

Let’s talk about tone for a bit.

We’re in a kind of pre-chorus for The Owl House, we’re not in the end game yet, that kicks off with Edge of the World, but we’re gearing up for it.

We’re also not exactly at the start of the series anymore. You could argue that the start of Season Two got the ball rolling with the more dramatic storytelling that characterised some of the series’ best episodes, and while that’s true from a certain point of view, I still think that the show actually gained momentum with Knock Knock Knockin’ On Hooty’s Door and has been spending the after that consolidating what it has before the final sprint.

In this context, I mean dramatic in the sense of one of the two main overarching genres (kinda), the other being comedic. This is the context in which you will hear actors discussed as dedicating themselves to one and breaking the mould when they venture into the other. I will come back to this.

Follies At The Coven Day Parade focuses the idea of choice and the established ending implicit in the magical world genre, but it uses the opportunity to fine tune the show’s tone and mood as a whole.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD (The Owl House, Amphibia, Dead Poet Society, Good Morning Vietnam, Good Will Hunting)

Kikimore is just fun. I’ll talk about how her story factors into the themes in a minute, but I want to come back to a concept I have been discussing for a while, the idea of multiple introductions.

Because, up to this point, Kikimora has been a one note villain. She’s a henchwoman with an abusive boss. Its interesting, but there’s not really been much else to her.

Enter this episode, which introduces her family and the stress that relationship puts on her. You can imply a lot from the one side of that phone call, and it doesn’t seem like the healthiest of relationships.

I think the fact that Kikimora stands up straighter in response to her mother over the phone speaks volumes. She follows the voice of authority, in this case her mother, immediately. Its instinctive. You can imply a lot about Kikimora's family life from this phone call, but also why she follows Belos so willingly. She has had that hierarchy engrained deep in her psyche from a very young age.

As a side note, is it a phone call? Is it a walkie talkie? The wiki calls them Crow Phones, but Amity has clearly only ever heard Luz say the word “phone” so I’m just at a loss. Are they just crows? Are they a pun that I’m not aware of? I’m so confused.

Anyway, then we get the one line that sells this character for me:

“Ooh! I cannot believe we are being taken against our will. What sayeth you, fiend?”

This seems like part of Luz’s schemes, right? She seems like the kind of person who would work references to her favourite stories into her plans. But her response says otherwise.

“Uh! That's right! I, Hecate, will whisk you away to my kingdom of mirrors and snakes! (Hushed) Hey, come on. I didn't know I had to prepare lines.”

The fact that Luz’s idea of improvising is just becoming someone else is telling because it shows you that her idea of confidence isn’t in her own identity, its in idolisation and replication. But also, Kikimora out of the blue decided to dish out some purple prose, for no reason. She could have just been silent, but she decided to be poetic. She’s got a hobby, and a personal life beyond what we see.

But then she doubles down.

Hey, look at that, duality as a theme presented through the cinematography. Kikimora is intimidating and lit from below. You look up at her and that frost effect is awesome. But she's also tiny, relying on the bigger creature for her power.

When I talk about characters being introduced twice, that usually implies a mask being worn or an innate contradiction. Amity, for example, is introduced as “the bully” first, and then expanded into a character with themes of abuse and expectations, which recontextualises her into someone that can change and become better.

The purpose of this isn’t to claim everyone is the exact opposite of how they appear, because with Kikimora, what you see is what you get. Kikimora has complexity, but she is still a henchwoman with an abusive boss. That one note has been expanded into a chord, sure, but it’s not a complex one, and that’s ok.

It does allow Kikimora to engage with the theme of duality that this episode hinges on. Kikimora has to make a decision between her two worlds, and Luz latches onto that because of the events of the previous episode.

Worth noting, however, is that Luz has completely misinterpreted the conversation with her mother. The mind spell is a fantastic way of literally exploring a character’s psyche, but a flashback can work just as well. Memories aren’t as infalable as people think, especially with an unreliable narrator who focuses on specifics and misses important elements.

The original conversation went like this:

“When you come home, promise you'll stay here. I didn't mean to push you away. I swear things will be different.

“Mom, it's not you, it never was!”

“Promise me, Luz... please!”

“Okay, Mom. I promise.”

Whereas in this episode, Luz only remembers the following:

“Promise me. When you come home, you'll stay with me, and you'll never go back to that place.”

“Mom, it's not you. It never was!”

“Please!”

“Okay, Mom. I promise.”

There’s an ultimatum in Luz’s memory that wasn’t there to start with. Luz is dealing in absolutes, and all know who deals in absolutes.

In all seriousness, Luz has perceived the world as a Boolean variable, either she stays in the demon realm, or she stays in the human realm. In her mind there are only two options.

This is exacerbated by Kikimora, who does live in a world of extremes, because her boss is abusive, and her family is… less than stellar. Luz has projected onto a situation that doesn’t fit her and tried to work that out as a proxy, which doesn’t work.

Similarly, Riane has, in my eyes, misconstrued things as well. Raine’s last interaction with Eda led to them believing that Eda cannot be a part of the rebellion. They think that either Eda protects her kids and isn’t a rebel, or Eda is a rebel and loses out on her family.

But here’s the kicker: The Emperor directly threatens Luz and King with his villainy. Eda will be forced to join the rebellion later on, so Raine trying to scare her away only postpones the inevitable.

I mentioned tone, and that actually factors into the duality theme that is being presented here.

Luz is so morose in this episode, especially in contrast to the rest of the series up to this point. This is to set up the weight of episodes to come so that they aren’t jarring, but it also reflects how thematically dissonant the ultimatum is.

Take Amphibia for example. That is a series about growing up and understanding that sometimes you have to let go. Sometimes people drift apart, sometimes you move to a different place, and that’s ok. So, the finale, when the two worlds are separated, feels cathartic. It’s the culmination of the themes.

The Owl House is not Amphibia. It’s a story about human complexity, and the perils of boxing people in. It’s a story about nuance, and the breaking down of categories. It’s a story about finding a middle ground between the real and the imaginary. This ultimatum doesn’t make sense.

Case and point, the duality of dramatic and comedic storytelling it utter bollocks.

It’s a useful tool, don’t get me wrong, but its for external understanding. Its so that an actor or a writer can go “I like telling this kind of story” and an audience can point out their preferences. But in practical terms, storytelling is more of a gradient. There is no exact line that distinguishes each category. Nobody is saying “everything funnier than Toy Story 2 is a comedy”.

As evidence, I present, Robin Williams.

Dead Poet Society and Good Morning Vietnam both start out as comedies then come crashing down into dramas towards their finales.

The former focuses on the quirky hijinks of what boarding school kids get up to in a critique of British Private School education that all comes to a head with the death of a student and the utter mismanagement of the results.

The latter is about a comedy radio star who witnesses the horrors of war and gradually looses his sense of humour. The Adrian Cronauer that gets off the plane at the start of the film is a very different person to the one we see at the end.

Both of these stories have clear points at which their tones are changed up and Robbin Williams switches his performance seamlessly.

So, was Robbin Williams a comedic actor, or a dramatic one? Or was he just using tools of the trade from one or the other depending on the situation?

Alternatively, is it possible that he was drawing from the same toolbox to achieve whatever response he wanted at the time?

Good Will Hunting is both a comedy and a drama, and it doesn’t differentiate the two. Sure, there are moments that are one or the other, with the discussion of Sean’s wife waking herself up with her own farts being decidedly funny and the “your move chief” speech being serious as all hell, but the rest of the film falls somewhere in the middle. And let’s look at those two scenes in a bit more detail.

The joke about Sean’s wife is used to bring the characters together and allow them to empathise. Their friendship is built on humour.

Simultaneously, the speech is all build up to a single, final punchline. It has little moments to keep you interested, keep you entertained, and hint and the meaning, but it hinges on its final words, that’s how jokes work.

The iconic “it’s not your fault” scene works in a similar way. It’s a building of emotion slowly, gathering your attention as the characters react in different ways, until that powerful burst of emotion and breaking down.

Set up and pay off. That’s all it is.

Maybe the two genres of storytelling aren’t that different at all. Maybe the entirety of genre is a construct. Maybe the world is more nuanced than categorisation would lead you to believe.

I feel the need to cover all my bases here and say that I am heavily biased in the direction of genre being a scam. There is an argument to be made that the duality of performance does exist, and a ton of actors, including some I know personally, use it to great effect to inform their choices on stage. It is a way of understanding a story, and if it helps you, it helps you. I am just one of those people for whom it does not work.

Linking back to The Owl House, the series is gearing up to get really dark and really serious in the near future, lessening its comedic influence for a while. The ratio of jokes per episode will be a lot lower in the next few episodes.

This reflects Luz’s swing in a different direction. She has been so focused on the dream and adventure, but now that she is dealing with reality, she is grappling with her home, which she sees as more mundane. The humour is used to convey whimsicality, and the “real” world is sapping that from Luz’s life.

I’m not going to spoil the entirety of the series here, because I know some people are reading these posts as they watch the show. But rest assured, this won’t be the last time the series messes around with its tone.

Belos shows the audience his scar, possibly creating a dilemma by way of Wild Magic having a cost, it could be thought provoking, if it wasn't immediately preceded by the most overtly villainous visual I have ever seen. The show primes you to disbelieve what he is about to say, which I think is neat.

Final Thoughts

I had more to say about this episode than I was expecting. I never really found Kikimora that engaging as a character, so an episode about her was never going to be my favourite. I think she’s fun, don’t get me wrong, but she never really got me to care about what happens to her. And that’s ok. Not every character has to be a big sell. Sometimes you just need a goon who relates to the themes and is written competently. Not everything needs to be amazing.

But, you know who is amazing? Terra Snapdragon. Holy moly that character introduction is brilliant. She has Kikimora and Raine wrapped around her finger, and the amount of malice that Debra Wilson brings to the role is full on Disney villain levels of panache and I love it.

She will get her second introduction much later, but as for what we get now, she is delightfully devilish. She is also set up so clearly as a villain for Willow. The plant magic is the obvious one, but she’s also Willow’s exact opposite, she’s confident where Willow is shy, and she puts people down where Willow is the team support. If season three hadn’t been cut short, I guarantee that would have come up.

Although, I do have a little more in mind that a possible extended season three would cover. Sound off in the replies if you are interested in my hypotheticals.

Next week, I will be covering Elsewhere and Elsewhen, which has more so much to talk about that I’m not sure where to start. So, stick around if that interests you.

Previous - Next

[dawnisatotalqueen]

ORANGES // LOVE GROWS

title: love grows :: chapter one

characters: haikyuu various x reader

notes: best friend iwa, ex oikawa, new girl y/n?!

summary: after you end up going to karasuno after a messy breakup, you're left by yourself for your first day. much to your luck, you meet a ginger sunshine boy who makes it less scary.

masterlist

You were Aoba Johsai bound.

That’s what your best friend and boyfriend– Well, ex boyfriend always said. The moment they were in high school you went to all of their games and were constantly around. Most of the team viewed you as an honorary manager, and you all thought you’d be an actual manager as soon as you got into high school.

And you thought wrong. After your breakup, you figured a change of pace would be good. As much as you loved everyone from Seijoh, it would be weird to be a manager for the team your ex is the captain of.

So, you settled on somewhere else in the Miyagi Prefecture. Karasuno high, home of the crows. Or.. The Flightless Crows from what you heard.

You figured trying for a managing position of the team would be good since you’d still get to watch and be a part of the sport you loved. You wouldn’t consider yourself a volleyball player, but considering your life long best friend was, you had grown a love for the sport.

Plus, it helped that the players were always super hot.

You had realized over the course of middle school that you had a weakness. A weakness for cute boys. And there were a. Lot. Of. Cute. Boys.

You found that the word “Simp” was probably the best term one could use for you, which is exactly what led up to you getting with your ex.

You were walking around at the end of a pretty good first day. You needed to find the gym to ask about being a manager. Before you could do that though…

You felt someone run straight into your back, knocking you onto the ground. “Ouch!” You whined, turning over and looking at your scraped knees. “Watch where you’re runni–” Your breath caught in your throat when you looked up, seeing a ginger boy.

He couldn’t have been much taller than you, and he had these big brown eyes..

He was adorable.

“I’m so sorry!!” The cute stranger quickly stuck his hand out.

“It– it’s fine.” You couldn’t help but go red, taking his hand and getting up.

“I was just trying to find the gym, and–”

“You’re looking for the gym too?” You tilted your head.

“Huh? Oh, yeah!! I’m trying out for the volleyball team.”

You looked him over. Yeah. There was no way he was taller than you. How was he gonna play volleyball? Weren’t those guys usually tall? Oh well, you’ve heard of the Tiny Giant. You grinned.

“Really? Me too!! Well, I guess I’m not trying out to be on the team, but I wanna be manager!!”

“Really?!” The boy gasped. “That’s so awesome!! We could be working together!!”

You bounced right off his energy, smiling brightly. “Right?! That’s so cool– We should walk together.”

“Heck yeah!” You both smiled. Your first friend at Karasuno! At least you could tell Iwaizumi you met someone and he wouldn’t be so worried about you. He didn’t say he was worried, but you knew him well enough to read him like a book.

The both of you went along while you pulled out your phone.

You let out a small sigh as you shoved your phone in your bag. You lied. You were mostly over it, but just the mention of Oikawa stung. It was a bitter reminder of what could’ve been, and what wasn’t.

You shook those thoughts aside. You couldn’t focus on Oikawa, not when you just made a new friend and when you were about to start managing a whole new team.

You and your new friend walked side by side for a bit before you looked at him. “So, why Karasuno?”

He looked at you before grinning. “This is where the Tiny Giant went!!”

“You look up to him?”

“He’s like, my idol!”

“That’s really cool!!”

“What about you?”

“Huh?”

“Like– Why Karasuno?” He tilted his head.

“Oh! Well, uhm, I was going to go to Aoba Johsai, I was actually accepted but my um…” You rubbed the back of your neck. “My ex goes there.. And is on the volleyball team.”

“Aahh..” He hissed. “Rough. Well, hey! Karasuno is totally awesome, and we get to hangout, so, win-win!” He smiled.

He was such a little ball of sunshine. You grinned. “True!”

The both of you walked before arriving in front of the gym. The boy– Wait. You didn’t know his name. Before you could turn and ask him, he opened the door and his face immediately dropped. “..No way.”

You tilted your head before looking over. You spotted a taller boy with black hair and dark blue eyes. You squinted before the realization dawned on you. “Kageyama?”

He looked at the boy next to you first, then you. “Oh. You’re Oikawa’s girlfriend.”

“Ex! Ex girlfriend, but yes.” You huffed, putting your hands on your hips.

“I met you last year.” Kageyama turned his attention to the boy next to you, and the two of them began talking about something you tuned out of. You looked at Kageyama, kind of puzzled. You were sure he would go to Aoba Johsai. Why was he at Karasuno? He was the “King of the Court.”

Before you knew it, there were three new voices behind you and you squeaked a little, jumping.

There was a guy with a buzz cut, a guy with grey hair, and a guy with black hair. They were all tall and hoootttt.

You felt your face heat up as you stepped to the side and they started to talk to Kageyama. The small ginger started to walk around them, seemingly observing them before standing next to you again. “Hey so–” They didn’t hear him, in fact it seemed like they barely noticed him.

“I–” He started before huffing. “HEY!!”

Suddenly, all three boys’ eyes were on him, then you.

The boy with black hair looked at his keyboard. “Says here that the other person trying out.. Is Shoyo Hinata. I’m guessing that’s you?” Hinata. His name was Hinata.

“You were the short jumpy one!!” The boy with the buzz cut exclaimed.

Hinata’s eyes lit up when he realized that they knew who he was. “Oh!! Yeah!!”

“You were crazy, man. Too bad you haven’t had a growth spurt though.” The boy with the buzzcut walked over, comparing his height to Hinata’s.

The boy with the grey hair looked at you with a smile. “And you?”

You looked over, heat creeping up your neck. “Oh! Ah– I’m Y/N L/N. I was actually wanting to ask about being a manager?”

“Guh!” The boy with the buzz cut squawked. “We have a manager, and she’s–”

The boy with the black hair hit him on the shoulder. “What Tanaka means is while we do have a manager, a second one wouldn’t do any harm.”

You grinned. “Awesome!!” This was going great. You made a friend, and successfully joined Karasuno’s volleyball team as a manager. What could go wrong?

..

Oh a lot went wrong. You barely know how it happened, but all of a sudden Hinata and Kageyama were having a one on one match, and the ball had managed to hit the vice principal in the head. It also hit his toupe right off… And onto the boy whose name you learned was Daichi.

You stood with the other two first years when Daichi walked back in. “You’re lucky, he doesn’t even want us to apologize. But he did swear us to secrecy.”

You blinked at him before looking around at the other four boys. You let out a nervous giggle to yourself. This would be interesting.

[kakashiislut]

This was supposed to be a request, but I messed it all up :( and now it’s gone so I’m going to summarize it :( I’m sorry!!

So Kratos and F!Reader meet some where randomly and become friends, along with that, Reader is a single mother (I’m sure it was a daughter!) and reader slowly becomes a motherly figure for Atreus and they start a lil family :( (of course Mimir is the second dad)!

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I’m so sorry I messed up something as simple as a request :/ I’m gonna try and make this awesome. :( I hope you guys like it, I’ve been struggling with writing, cause nothing seems to want to come out no matter how hard I try. <3

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Warnings: barely suggestive themes, we all know Kratos is hot, fluff and friendship, family themes.

Authors Note: I had this draft for like a couple of weeks and just started finishing it now. I tried making it like a full story, but I kinda suck with those now. I’m sorry the writing style just changed half way through it 💀

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Our Family~ Kratos & Motherly!Reader

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Breathing relaxed, feet below your shoulders, elbow back and straight. Stare at your target, you don’t want the deer to suffer, you want one clean, quick shot to its lungs, heart or brain. You chose heart, quick and easy, the deer won’t feel a thing. It was grazing on the nature below its feet, suckiling up flowers, grass and probably some bugs along the way. It was beautiful, it’s tail flared wildly in the wind, back legs stepping back and forth. The deer was happy….but you where hungry.

Drawing the bow string back just a bit more, you where ready to let go when it’s head snapped up “what-“ out of shock, you let go causing the arrow to sore through the air and hit the poor animal in its throat, it dropped quick, falling towards you. Another arrow? No, the deer wasn’t injured before…

Quickly reaching for another arrow, you scooped the area out. No one. The wind seemed to be silent all of a sudden, the only noise to be heard was the deer frailing  and crying, before it eventually stopped. The arrow below it snapped, waste of an arrow.

You almost left it. The deer of course. With half an arrow still lodged in its neck, blood pooled on the floor and trailed towards your feet. You stared at the thick crimson, even it’s blood was perfect. But you can’t, you have to not only feed yourself, but her.

“Hmmm”

What? Shooting your head back up, you where met with a behemoth of a man. Easily 100 ft tall and 10000 pounds. The marks on his body color matched the blood the deer gave to the earth. He was as pale as snow, yet as intimidating as fire. He reached down, easily turning the deer over and examining the arrow you shot into its neck. His eyes glossed over yours. He just stared.

It’s not that you where weak….you can hold a damn good fight…but with him? No! He would destroy you, you felt like you where crumbling just by his gaze. “I shot it first!”STUPID. Why is that the first thing you think of!!! “Not very Well…” his voice seemed to boom in the silence of the forest. A murder of crows squawked loudly as they flew from various tree branches. Even they where afraid.

“Excuse you,” Putting on your mother face, you where almost gonna lecture him. Letting out a sigh, you spoke again “I have a kid…even if that means half- or even less then half, I’ll take it. You can have the rest!” Your eyes went soft, it was getting hard finding deers and other sorts of animal large enough to feed you and your daughter recently. You couldn’t just let her starve.

“Hmmm”

What? Does he only fucking respond with grunts and moans? Who is this man and why is he built like a Greek statue. Taking slow steps, you step over the blood,  cautiously. You had thrown your arrow in your satchel and slung the bow across your chest. It was a pretty bow, just like you, reader <3 (breaking the fourth wall, my bad)

He kneeled down, took his knife and stabbed the deer in the side of its stomach.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Slugging half a deer over your shoulder wasn’t as bad as you thought. Being able to have half -of what you rightfully shot- made you a little excited. A little pep in your step, you knocked 3 times on your door and waited. No answer. Smiling proudly, you knocked 4 times and a good second later, the door slowly opened and just below the handle, a little girl stood.

“Mama!” Pulling her body from behind the door, she ran out to hug your legs. “Go inside, honey, this deer is heavy” nodding her head quickly, she ran inside and pulled the door fully open. Hitting the snow off your boots, you dropped the deer by the door on a cloth sheet.

You rushed to wash your hands as quick as you could, you wouldn’t want to stain the poor girl with the deers blood. Swooping around, you picked your five year old up and swarmed her face with kisses. “MY LITTLE BABYYY” you cooed loudly, “Mama’s so proud of you, you’ve been listening so well to me”

Your daughter let out of a cheery laugh, smile capturing her entire face. She always smiled like her father…

“Where’s the deers legs, mama?” She pointed over at the animal after you placed her down on her feet. “Baby…I met the strangest man…”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You didn’t think you’d meet him again, Really. Well without the boy who took you to him, you wouldn’t have seen him ever again. Ever.

“You saved my life…thank you” Atreus, was his so called name. He stepped on some thin ice and WAS going to fall to his death before you swooped down and caught his wrist.

He had taken you back to his father, wanting to thank you with some stew from a deer he was supposed to hunt and take back.

I mean, he got the hunting part easily done. The taking it back to his home? Not that easy.

His dad seemed a little weary at first, mad even. You understood it though, who just takes a stranger to their home to have some dinner after saving their life. Even women can be dangerous.

He was mad until:

“Oh my head! Is that you? Y/N? Oh my, I never thought I’d see you again!”

“Mimir?…MIMIR! By the gods- what happened to you-? Where is your…” your eyes trailed down to the head on a pillow, he had no body…infact…he barely had a neck.

“Body…” you mumbled the last part…probably a sensitive topic. “Oh…about that..” he seemed to snicker awkwardly, if he could rub the back of his neck, he would.

“Did Odin finally betray you?” You questioned, cautiously stepping up to rub at his horns. “Oh I miss your hands. If only we could dance again” he smiled up at you.

“And yes…yes he did. Speaking of Odin…I apologize, Y/N…for choosing him over our friendship.” His eyes trailed over to the big guy. “Kratos, don’t be afraid, it’s just Y/N…an old friend”

“I am not afraid.”

Kratos huh….he’s handsome. Super handsome. The downwards tilt of his nose was enticing. The way his traps and biceps where built….it was incredible. Not only that, but he had amazing boobs- I mean pecs. He had amazing pecs. His thighs where huge, almost like they could squeeze a mountain between them. Or maybe me- STOP. No horny thoughts.

“Hi…I’m Y/N” you offered your hand, back perched up proudly. “Do you remember me? We both shot that deer and we split it in half. Well I mean you! You split it in half; with a very small knife in fact- it was impressive actually, I couldn’t have-“

“I do remember you.”

“Ok…”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You never thought you’d spend that much time with them.

“MORE MORE! ATREUS MORE!” You daughter  squealed, arms Infront of her while Atreus flew her through the air like an eagle. He ran around the cabin, laughing and smiling along with her.

You didn’t think you’d get that close.

“Hey! You be nicer to your father! He is trying his best to raise you into a better person! Now you go apologize and hug him. NOW!”

You didn’t think you could put on this motherly act and become one for Atreus. He listened to you. Kratos was grateful for it, thanking you in his own special way.

“Ugh i Love the ribs. I feel so special when you give them to me” you smiled, taking a bite of the deer meat.

He would often bring you gifts as thank you. He found a cool little trinket? It’s all for you now. A poem book? It’s for you to read to your daughter.

The best part? Atreus started referring to your daughter as his sister. At first it was a slip up, but when he seen your reaction only being filled with love, he really started referring to her as his little sister.

“You’re the Best Big brother ever!” She would coo at him, sitting on his lap while he would braid her hair. “And you’re the cutest little sister ever.”

He would make her the cutest toys and little pieces of clothing. He was crafty and liked to draw, and she liked to sit by him and watch. If he got into an argument with his dad, he would sit and cuddle her to relax, of course, she would scold him to go apologize. Yes, he listens to her.

It was your little family. Mimir and Kratos as the fathers. Atreus and Y/D/N as the kids. You? The scary mother that everyone cowered under….and loved. Dearly and Truly.

“Ugh look at us! Look at our family” Y/N laughed, eyes trailing over a picture that Atreus drew, “our little family. Well- Kratos isn’t so little-“

A gentle laugh was heard from Mimir. “He’s big. Like a bear.”

“Shut up.”

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[isa-ghost]

Could I mayhaps have some hc!philza headcanons? Could be him in his hardcore, or how his time in hardcorr affects him now maybe? :D

OUGH YES.

So these will be operating off the theory that qPhil is hcPhil with his memory fucked up by the Federation. I'm gonna aim for "pre island, this is how qPhil was" but we'll see what happens as I actually write these LOL

What if I call these Pre-Dilf Edition in the masterlist SKFJSKFJSKFHF

10/10 would read the hardcore deity set I did recently to go with these :D

qPhil headcanons masterlist

He either had a flawless sleep schedule (early to bed early to rise ass mf) or no sleep schedule at all (spending 3+ nights hyperfocused on smth). It made for a very loopy Phil sometimes, which his murder of crows very much enjoyed

This man can fit so much joy and whimsy in him. Everything is awesome, everything is a breathtaking work of art and everything is decades of rich history to uncover. He loves life, he loves the passage of time, he loves teaching the murder about what he finds & restores

That's his main hobby besides being a survivalist, restoration and an informal form of archiving. He sketches the builds, takes notes on the deities, adds his own little touches to each place to make it a little prettier

He could fly for hours. Sometimes he'd fly aimlessly into late into the night, too immersed in sight-seeing and chatting with the murder

He had little altars in Flowerfall, Nether Void & Greater Spawn Islands for OO, BE, and Rose respectively. He'd leave little shiny things, trinkets that made him think of them, offerings like cooked fish or blaze rods or flowers in little offering bowls. Just as a nice, more direct way of giving them thanks for creating something so beautiful and allowing him to restore it to its former glory

He fucking loves swimming and fishing and hanging out at Endlantis, he'd just very aggressively avoid the cave that is EK's tomb. It was extremely haunted, he never got good vibes down there

He sometimes considers making his own remarkable build as a sort of "I was here, I too am a mark upon this history" but looks at his house and is like "mmmmbetter not" (he's an idiot, he could 100% build something cool, just probably not on the scale of the builds the gods have created. He'd probably create it for Goddess of Death, not even himself 💀)

Obligatory gapple addiction mention. It didn't start because of the murder, but he definitely used them as an excuse to further indulge once he started devoting eating one to the crows who'd been in the murder for a year. He never really had a reason to quit, or worry about the addiction, so he never experienced negative effects from it. Gapples aren't exactly harmful, just.. tinged with just enough magic to infect the brain. (He never experienced withdrawal misery on QI bc the Feds wiped his memory so his body had no idea it should be having a bitch fit =) )

Semi-related, he loved the days where he and the murder lacked the motivation and focus to do restoration things so they'd just fuck off in a random direction for ages and go on loot sprees. Nothing more exciting than hunting for more god apples :D

He started out liking fishing. The murder got too obsessed and it became the bane of his existence. But he loves the murder, so he does it anyway. Besides, he wouldn't trade chill talks with them for the world. :')

Btw he doesn't know this but it was equal parts the Ender King & the Feds ripping rifts between the universes that got him caught and taken to QI. EK didn't plan for that to happen, he just wanted to escape to a new reality to find a vessel to come back to power. Which is why once Phil was on the island, EK went "Fuck it, I'll use that asshole since he's not only compatible, but from the same plane of existence"

Mobs never scared him much (except Enderman) despite the fact that they were very dangerous and he's a survivalist. He was practically a mob whisperer, it's how he trapped trophy ones, made certain farms and why he was 99% fearless when farming charged creepers. QI has so many mobs he's never seen in his life that his chill instincts are suddenly like AAAWTFWTF

He never felt truly alone despite being the only humanoid. He felt like Rose was always with him, very rarely OO, and the murder ofc. He could understand them and he'd talk to them all day every day. Not only that, he had pets like Pog and Champ and there were quite a few times he'd humanize inanimate objects, which scientifically helps keep you sane in isolation such as survival. He always felt like he had Something to socialize with

That said, he IS still a bit weird socially on the island. Socializing with humans is way different than crows, other animals, gods, and objects.

Btw Ian is God of Chaos (a lesser god like Goddess of Death) and other mods like Birder, D3 & Wolfy are notably larger or perhaps a different species of corvid that hang out among the murder :D

[smashingdollz]

Hello! Hope your day or night is going well-

Was wondering if you could do Leon, Piers, and Raihan with reader s/o that's an artist? Maybe reader goes up to them proudly showing sketches and such??

-Skull anon (?)

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

hi skull anon! i can definitely do that! its such a cute prompt and i love it! Also, would you rather go by 💀 anon or just the word "skull" anon. both are available so either one is fine!. have a lovely day or night!. i can do a couple of HC's and then a mini story for each!

𝐋𝐞𝐨𝐧

-hes always admired your drawings. he would causally watch over your shoulder as you draw. he stays there for a bit before walking off because he wants to respect your privacy with your drawings. he does ask about it later, and whether you show it to him or not is up to you, he doesnt get hurt about it.

-without him knowing it, you draw him all the time, which hes battling against someone or when hes training by himself. youre always in the audience or right behind him trying to capture his determined face and all his greatness in the drawing youre sketching.

-besides him watching you draw, he absolutely loves when you go outside and paint. he loves how the colors you use pop as you capture the scenery and Pokemon around his home town. if it wasnt for his champion duties he would stay outside with you and watch you all day long.

-when you show him the drawings you made of him when he was battling/training he just gets so excited and stoked, and he praises you. "Woahh! You drew me! I look so cool, this is so cool! This is wonderful thank you so much!" this drawing made him fall in love with you all over again.

♡

You quietly sat in the stadium lobby, finishing up the sketch of Leon that you began drawing earlier as he was battling against some trainer. Since Leon had just finished his match he was bombarded with fans and interviewers, which you were kinda happy about, only this once though. You wanted enough time to put the best detail in this drawing before showing it to him. After some time the crowed died down,and just then you had finally finished. "So thats where you were!" you heard Leons voice above you, you gazes up to be met with his purple eyes and warm smile. "You're tired right? C'mon lets go home, you'll have to lead the way though,,," He laughed a bit and offered his arm to you. You clutched your sketchbook and shyly go up and leaned near him, "Uhm,, before we go I have something to show you" You hesitantly lifted up your sketchbook for him to see. After a couple minuets of silence you grew nervous, "i know its not that good,, but-" "NOT GOOD?? Are you kidding me? This is absolutely awesome!! You're amazing Y/N!" he brought you close and engulfed you in a warm hug, you shyly smiles in responce.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

𝐏𝐢𝐞𝐫𝐬

-he always silently admires you drawing from a distance because he doesnt want to disturb you. he intently watched the way you fingers grip your pencil and how it glides on the piece of paper your drawing on. he loves how concentrated you look and how you furrow your brows when you observe the details of your drawing.

-you absolutely love drawing him whenever hes preforming with his Pokemon or whenever he just silently lays guitar and sings to himself. you love catching his electric and calm moods in your drawings. for you hes one of the most fun people to draw.

-he always makes sure you take care of yourself when drawing. if you've been drawing for too long and neglecting your health and hygiene he helps you take care of yourself. and whenever your hand cramps from all the drawing he shows you the hand exercises other artists do when they draw.

-when you show him one of the many drawings you drew of him he has to take a couple minutes to take in what hes seeing, he has to have enough time to take in the magnificent drawing you drew. its the best piece of art hes ever laid his eyes upon, and he makes sure to tell you that. "This is the most beautify drawing my eyes have ever laid upon"

♡

You sat in the corner of the gym courtyard and admired as Piers preformed in from of the many Team Yell members. You sketched fast, wanting to capture every spark of emotion that was going on throughout the performance, but of course you still kept your precision. About an hour later you heard him yell, "Thank you all for coming!" followed by a crowd of yelling. And soon they scattered around going back to probably tormenting any trainer that came in Marnies way. As you stood up you heard a pair of footsteps, they were Piers. "I didnt see you in the crowd" he sounded a bit sad. "I know,, im sorry,, but I did enjoy what I heard!" you smiled at him, "But while you were preforming I couldnt help but make this" You showed him the sketch you've been working on during his concert. He took quite a bit to respond, not because he didnt like it, no it was quite the opposite. "Y/N,,, this is wonderful. Its so beautiful, truly a masterpiece! How can one be so talented?" You brightly smiled at the praises he gave you.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

𝐑𝐚𝐢𝐡𝐚𝐧

-he treats you like the next Picasso, constant praises whenever you show him the scenery and Pokemon drawings youve been working on. with your consent he always takes photos of your artwork and post them online so that all his fans can be blessed by your artwork. he also shows you all the nice things they say.

-you always love drawing him while he battles. you always try to capture all his interesting facial expressions whenever you're watching. and sometimes when you're struggling with a pose or if you cant find one he volunteers to be your model!

-he loves requesting drawing prompt to you, and you love receiving them. especially when you have art block. he always tries to pay you whenever you go through with the request but you always kindly deny, you cant make your lovely boyfriend pay you, you feel too guilty. if you're ever stuck on a pose or dont know what pose you should draw he always volunteers to be your model.

-when you show him the drawing you made of him he praises you to the bone, he will not shut up about how much he loves this drawing. its like an ego boost for him. he examines every detail and traces it with his fingers. "You captured me so well in this drawing! I love is so much that im going to hang it up on the fridge!" of course he has to take a quick photo for him to post, of course with your permission.

♡

You sat in the Dragon Gym's lobby, his Gym has been closed for the day due to a scheduled match that went on in the Wyndon Stadium. The match was being live streamed and posted so you quickly pulled out you phone and sketchbook and began sketching his exciting match. After a while of being in the lobby were all you heard was your pencil sketching on your paper as you were finishing up some minor details, you heard a voice boom over you. "Hehe, you love me so much you're even watching my clips from today's battle, that kinda funny" and in response you let out a laugh. "Why would I not? Especially when you look the coolest when battling, thats why I always draw you when you have a match" You say as you've completely finished your drawing. "Wait you always drew me from todays match?? Can I see?" You nodded your head and lifted up your sketchbook so he can see the drawing of him you recently completed. "Y/N this is so cool! Every drawing you make is a masterpiece, but this takes the top! You captured the energy and detail of the battle perfectly! This is going on the fridge!"

[lale-txt]

♡ 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐛𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐲, 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬/𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐡𝐲 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐲

@starblazer124 asked: Hi Lale! Hope you're having an awesome day! I was wondering if you'd be interested in doing a few headcanons for Rayleigh, Gaban, Shakky, and Denjiro where they have a bubbly, outgoing s/o that still gets flustered and shy easily. I just love the "socially adept person turns into a mushy puddle of goo for their lover" trope! Could be sweet, spicy, whatever you're in the mood for. My only favor would be to ask for a gender neutral reader so everyone can enjoy the gilf/dilf/milf of their dreams~

↳ 𝐰/ 𝐑𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡, 𝐆𝐚𝐛𝐚𝐧, 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐤𝐤𝐲 & 𝐃𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐫𝐨

a/n: Blaze, your choice of characters is just -chef's kiss- i love little headcanons like these, so i was happy to write this request for you (after all i can never resist the gilfs/dilfs/milfs of my dreams) - hope it's to your liking! thank you so much for the idea.

❦ 𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇

even after all these years it still never failed to amuse Rayleigh how your personality switches whenever he was around

he just had this effect on you that made your brain short-circuit in the best way possible

you could be happily chatting with the crew, entertaining everyone with a story about how Roger sleepwalked once and ended up dangling upside down from the crow’s nest, swaying softly and unbothered in the wind; only for you to stutter and blush once Rayleigh’s gaze meets your from the other side of the ship 

after all, Rayleigh thought it was kinda cute and he’d tease you often when you were alone, asking you if he made you nervous while he trailed kisses down your spine to which you could only groan and bury your flushing face in the pillow

not your fault that he was just so charming and had completely captured you in his presence; the presence of a king and a lover to which you could only bow and bathe in his energy

and no matter how flustered you are, Rayleigh would always make sure to let you know that you had the same effect on him – he was just a little better at hiding it

❦ 𝐆𝐀𝐁𝐀𝐍

all it needed was a subtle touch, whether it was a hand resting on the small of your back or your pinkies linking, and your heart felt like it was about to jump out of your chest and your trail of thoughts went down the gutter

Gaban’s sunglasses would hide the mischievous twinkle in his eyes, but just knowing it was there was already enough for you to get a little flustered

at first it irritated him – how you suddenly went quiet and avoided eye contact whenever he was around, when minutes prior you’ve been your usual bubbly, outgoing self around your crewmates

that was until you stuttered out a heartfelt confession late at night, catching him off guard completely and having him turning into a puddle of goo in return

ever since the two of you have been inseparable, making each other feel like you’ve never crushed on anyone ever before

and while it sometimes was nerve wracking to react this strongly, you wouldn’t want to trade those weak knees and fluttering hearts for anything in return because it made those sweet kisses from Gaban even more exciting

❦ 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐊𝐊𝐘

slumped over the counter, your face buried in your hands, you could still hear her soft chuckle as she patted your head affectionately

Shakky really didn’t mind that you were so easy to fluster, no, quite the opposite

sometimes you wondered if she even tried to do so on purpose: when you were in some deep conversation with other bar visitors and she’d lean in close to you, whispering something in your ear, her breath hot and heavy on your skin, her fingertips at your nape

you melted every. single. time. 

it’s something that surprised you because usually you had a loose mouth and never had any troubles with starting a conversation or entertaining a group of strangers in a smoky bar 

but with Shakky… it’s like she put a spell on you that made little hearts swirl around your head whenever she was around 

and the way she pronounced your name felt like being dipped into syrup, like a sweet prayer that made you fall down on your knees - but you wouldn’t want it any other way

❦ 𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐉𝐈𝐑𝐎 

this man loves to fluster you to a point where your heart feels like it’s about to burst

he just thinks it’s cute how someone who is so bubbly and and outgoing all the time has a complete personality switch once you are alone

he’d pull you in his lap, his chin resting on top of your head, his fingers entangled with yours as he holds you close and feels your heart race in your chest

and there’s no way you can resist him, it’s like your legs turn into pudding whenever he’s near… and it’s not like you want to escape his embrace

your poor heart calms down eventually… until he starts whispering silly little things into your ear and it spikes again, making him chuckle

you can get back to him though by running your fingers through his long, blue hair and telling him how pretty he is, turning the tables and watching him blush now

after all, what’s love without a little teasing and banter until you shut each other up with dozens of kisses?