#how much money are you making on tickets for TAYLOR SWIFT. you don’t need to wring these people of every fucking penny

[glitteratti]

like literally actually venues charging so much for water is insane and evil. people at concerts NEED water, especially for high energy acts that people dance to and in any general admission area where people are more packed together. i went to a show last week where i was sitting the whole time and not even dancing and even i got super hot and needed water! like thank god that’s a venue that only charges $1 for a bottle and has free refill stations. at most shows, ESPECIALLY a pop concert like for taylor swift, you’re essentially doing a high energy workout while packed in shoulder to shoulder AND singing the whole time. not letting people bering water and charging $7+ a bottle is fucking criminal

[munamania]

ok um i am going to vent on something as someone with an outside perspective and people are going to be normal about that right. okay lol. im sick of hearing about taylor swift <3 as compared to a few years ago even she is like... suffocating. and i feel like we never advance this conversation because on one hand we have people who swing into full misogyny when talking about her, and on the other we have people who won't admit that she blatantly uses feminism to deflect from her problematic behaviors, or at least they won't like, do anything about it, and in this way she sort of ends up misleading a lot of young girls into like. girlboss liberal white feminism. im not saying shes a supervillain for it but you can't deny the ramifications of what she does and doesn't speak up about, just given the absolutely massive platform she has. she is the biggest pop star in the world

for the record, i don't expect taylor to be like. a normal person. she was very famous from a very young age and people aren't normal about teen/adolescent stars, especially when they're girls and women. she had her personal drama aired out in front of the world, had so much misogynistic dialogue surrounding her, from demeaning her success to interrogating her dating life (and never holding the pedos who preyed on her at a young age to any sort of standard!) and for many years people weren't very critical of that. it was normalized to be trashing this young girl's name and saying vile shit about her to like the entire nation and i dont blame her for being like, a little off after that. and yeah i also don’t think we should look to celebrities as our end all be all of activism and opinions on sociopolitical issues

but we've gone full swing into like. she is so famous and so big that her actions can be harmful and she does these things anyway because she doesn't expect her fanbase to hold her accountable, lest they be acting like the very sexists who tried to ruin her career. at least i imagine that's what the thought process is like, at least at some level, but at this point it's just like. this woman makes so much money. so much money it's ridiculous. idk how y'all fathomed paying so much for concert tickets but like i'll give props that they at least seemed to have some insane production/theatrics... so like alright. there's that.

but she is reselling the same songs. sometimes that don't sound that good. and making more money off that. yes yes to 'officially own them' and whatever. and releasing vault tracks and other versions of albums with different songs on them. but never all the same bc u need to collect them all. and the thing is some of them are like kinda bad. but you listen to them anyway because we live in a time of overconsumption/consumerism in late capitalism and it's like trendy and fun to be able to tell what song of hers is playing in the first millisecond. sorry or just your personal attachment to her. and don't say it's embarrassing to be a taylor swift fan these days she's like. so huge. and some of you equate embarrassment with having to hear criticism toward her. which might not be as common if swifties idk stepped it up and actually expected something from her?

which i guess is getting me to my main point here. can you imagine like. what would happen if taylor swift actually said anything about palestine? or anything of value in the world right now? no one's asking her to be a fucking scholar on it but genuinely sorry there’s like a genocide. several. the most documented real time genocide of our time i don’t care if it makes you upset that people expect something from her. she is time's person of the year. she has everyone from young girls to lesbians to gay men to bored football wives to dads to well fucking etc you get the point tuned in. she has dabbled in so many different spaces done so many collaborations aligned herself with so many entities who can keep up? if she, as massive as she is right now, posted something as simple as 'free palestine' or called for a ceasefire, can you imagine what would happen? i can’t help but think about it when day in and day out my feed is filled with screaming people being pulled from rubble or having their limbs amputated.

but she won't, because, quite frankly, what does she have to gain from it? she’s teaming up with the nfl right now to make some more money, she's gotta have at least like 4 new albums recorded in the last two years and at least um what three more that you're expecting? and she doesn't even have to like? write new music really? (edit: oh boy!) why the fuck would she be doing anything with her time other than poisoning the planet with jet fuel to visit her pr boyfriend?

taylor swift is never gonna be punk or what the hell ever beyond like a white liberal-at-best moderate woman. but if any of you could talk to each other and talk about, like, organizing in ways that it would be impossible for her to continue to ignore these situations, and just keep playing her tour FILM (how could i forget) in israel and etc, like if you could flood her socials or do a mass movement (and it would be massive given the sheer amount of peoples' top artists she's in) of not listening/buying/interacting with her stuff, until her agents and whatever had to make some sort of statement? like that's the only chance we've got with her

i'm not saying don’t be her fan, or listen to her music, or have an attachment, etc, but she's been around enough vile, anti-feminist, racist things this past year that y'all DO need to hold her accountable. like way more than you do. or it's going to be like really difficult to. tolerate it. haha. like you SHOULD be vocally and loudly disapproving of her actions when it causes a lot of damage overall. speaking up about her insane climate irresponsibility when we're having the hottest years on record is not the same as the people who felt the need to like pick apart her dating life on the news. but can we talk about how she's officially like. circled back and now is purposefully making news about her dating life? for her personal gain and that of the fucking nfl? lol. in a way it is funny for her to ‘take that power back’ in a way, of her image, and i think that’s how some people might view it, but like on the other hand she obviously is gaining a lot from this. you know. a lot of actual money. she is going to profit off this image of her being misunderstood etc for as long as u guys allow it and well i just think that has run its course. yk

continuing into 2024 (edit: and now with the release of a new album!) i don't want to see swifties automatically exonerating themselves from difficult conversations because like they feel like their fave has faced enough unwarranted criticism. or bc other people should also be criticized. much of it is warranted! and you guys need to grow up and be able to talk about it and stop painting taylor swift's face as like the Pinnacle of feminism. she doesn't and shouldn't have to be, and she isn't, and she should in fact be held accountable when she does really fucking shitty things on account of they're shitty! i don't care that she's a woman! it's like that meme of oh yay a woman democrat sent these missiles. oh yay a woman is massively damaging the planet and proudly dated a violent misogynistic racist, and faced minimum criticism for these things over and over because your only comeback is ‘well what about’ if a man did the same thing, etc, you refuse to just look at the situation we do have. yes we should. we should do that we should hold men accountable but you can also like not accept awful fucking behavior from your faves when you have a chance. do you think that’s helping feminism genuinely. use your voice use your power (your money) to like. do something for once. i cannot keep living in the taylor swift echo chamber.

and for the record. i like enjoyed taylor like back when i was a young girl and she had a few songs on the radio, and i honestly even had a moment where i used guys' opinions on her as a first step to navigate who i felt safe around in a very hypermasculine sexist college space. because yes. some people do need feminism 101 and some people's genuinely misogynistic rage will be demonstrated in their hatred of taylor and her success. but at some point we gotta move on from that. if some people will look at the most powerful woman in the world, who has enough money to stay away from them and an extremely massive loyal fanbase watching and supporting her every move - if some men take out their hatred on her, a powerful white woman, how do you think they view and treat women who are not white, thin, "conventionally"/eurocentrically attractive, or accessible to cis/het audiences?

anyway i hope that i can bring a conversation to the swiftieverse cause i honestly believe u guys could have comparable impact to like. bts stans. maybe. if you put your minds together for a good cause. and we don’t have to do the oppression olympics or whataboutisms or WHATEVER for forever. can we please move the conversation forward does anyone else feel insane with like where we’re at

on that note, i really do think now is the perfect moment for you to disrupt shit with your voices and demand better from her. it might not save the world, but it could make a huge difference in changing peoples' minds

okay um. thanks 👍

tldr i can’t do another year of swiftie discourse i just can’t please if there is a god out there help us

[danikamariewrites]

hi there!!! how are you?? hope everything is fine 🫶🏻🫶🏻

now, i was thinking something, i started to listen to taylor swift (I'm obsessed with her, and I love her so much 😭❤️‍🩹), and i just know that Aelin would be one of her biggest fans and also reader.

so imagine modern rowaelin taking reader to a taylor concert, like it was her dream and they would do anything for her 😭😭

SENDING LOVE!!! LOVE U!!! 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Eras Tour headcanon

Modern!Rowaelin x reader

A/n: they absolutely would be swiftys and would have a great time at this concert

When Taylor announced the Eras Tour you were so unbelievably excited

You ran into Rowan’s home office demanding a meeting in the living and then went to Aelin’s office demanding the same thing

You already had the power point set up on the tv as to why the three of you should go to the tour

The two of them sat, letting you finish your presentation with huge smiles on their face

Yeah Aelin and Rowan are Taylor fans and would go obviously but you felt the need to convince them

“And that concludes why we should go to the Eras tour. Thank you. Questions, concerns, hopes, dreams?”

“Obviously we’re gunna go!” Aelin yelled and you both jumped up and down holding hands screaming

The two of you looked to Rowan waiting for his answer, “What ever makes my girls happy. And I love Taylor too. I’m obviously dressing as Midnights.”

You all register for the presale and buy something from her website to give you a boost

By the grace of the Gods Rowan got the email with a presale codes

Aelin was so happy she started crying

The day of the presale you all took the day off work

The three of you got up early, you made a starbucks run while Aelin went and got food and Rowan sat in the living room watching his laptop with Ticketmaster open (we all sat there and watched Ticketmaster an hour before don’t lie)

You were so anxious you could barley eat

You and Aelin did chug your coffees tho which you might regret later

When it was time you were all yelling at the computer to load

Then the worst thing happened….Ticketmaster froze and no one knew what was happening

“What happened? Rowan what did you touch?” “Nothing Aelin! It just did that.” “No no no no no no no no WHAT IF WE DONT GET TICKETS!” “DONT SAY THAT Y/N!”

Of course you and Aelin scroll TikTok to find out what happened

You both made sure Rowan kept his eyes on the computer

When you jumped to the front of the line and could buy tickets you started screaming

“WE CAN CELEBRATE AFTER LETS GET THESE FUCKERS!” You yell

Rowan quickly picked out 3 floor seats bc they have money and want this to be a fun experience

And when he hit purchase and actually had the tickets the screaming started again

You were relieved and so very tired

So tired that you and Aelin ended up napping on the couch together for 3 hours

Now the real fun begins

Waiting for the show and picking/making your outfits is sm fun

Rowan goes as Midnights and Aelin can’t believe he picked a fun sparkly blue outfit

Aelin goes as reputation and has the coolest snake bodysuit

You go as Fearless and wear a gold sparkly dress with white boots

When the day came you were all so excited

You drew 13 on your hand and Rowan and Aelin’s

You got to the stadium super early

Got the merch you wanted (all 3 of you got the blue crew neck and a tshirt)

When Taylor took the stage you and Aelin didn’t stop screaming and singing and jumping around

Rowan obviously sang and danced with you guys

You cried during Marjorie

The surprise songs were your favorites

When the show was over you were dead tired

You couldn’t feel your feet and Aelin was begging Rowan to carry her

Rowan had made sure to hire a car for the night so you guys wouldn’t have to worry about driving home

He definitely carried both of you to the car

You were both falling asleep on his shoulder until he suggested McDonalds

The driver stopped and you got so much food

You pig out until you get home

When you get home it’s 1 am and you don’t even think you can change

The three of you just wash your face and strip passing out in a heap on the bed

[fandomgremlinlover]

Im posting this as a rant, so. Don’t like. DONT READ‼️‼️

anyways, I’ve been seeing a bunch of Taylor Swift stuff on my TikTok FYP lately, and it’s either people bashing or supporting her. Personally, I don’t really care for Taylor. She doesn’t affect me or my life and I could care more or less about her music.

But.

In the process of this, I’ve seen a lot of swifties (that how you spell it??) defending her by saying that the people who dislike her and openly hate her are misogynistic and anti-feminist, and have no real good reason to hate her. Which, first of all, is an absolute dog shit of a statement and a VERY arrogant take on this entire ordeal to begin with!?

I’ve only got a couple things to say about Taylor Swift, and none of them are particularly nice. So if you don’t want to read ahead, scroll. Because I’ve got a LOT to say in regards as to why I dislike Taylor.

( Statement 1)

“Taylor Swift is an ethical billionaire guys, she’s not a bad person!!”

Every time I read this comment, or hear it, from anyone. (including swifties) I lose a brain cell and lose faith in humanity. Firstly, an “ethical billionaire” does not exist. Ethical, by definition, has three different meanings. But the definition that I assume most people refer to is “avoiding activities or organizations that do harm to people or the environment.” And billionaires, do not give a shit about that.

I want you to process the word billionaire. A word referring to a person who makes BILLIONS every single damn year and make millions every single minute. 24 hrs a day. They make SO much money, that if they were to ever give a FRACTION of that amount to the public, specifically the homeless, our homeless problem in the US could be fixed. And when I say fixed, I mean there would never be any more homeless people in the United States of America. I am aware it wouldn’t be fixed immediately, don’t put words in my mouth, but with time, probably very short if we put more effort into the problem, there would be no homelessness epidemic within a couple years. The fact that Taylor Swift is probably the RICHEST woman/singer/songwriter of the 21st century and has more influence than any political candidate or party will every have in their life adds to the ridiculousness of this statement and baffles me every time I remember it. To prove my point, there are about 2700 billionaires in total as of 2024. 759 of those billionaires are from the USA. One of which, is Taylor Swift herself.

If you are a person who goes by the slogan “Eat the rich” and you still believe that Taylor Swift is an exception to this quote. You need to get your head out of the clouds and come back to reality. Because she’s in no way an exception to this, just like Biden isn’t. Just like Trump isn’t. And just like any other fucking politician that exists isn’t an exception!!

Also, do you know how much fucking co2 this woman uses every year for her private jet flights??? If you don’t know, here’s a graph:

She produces my co2 admissions than the average American does in a YEAR. Specifically for Airplane travel. Considering the number, that’s fucking ridiculous. She could just as easily use a public Airliner and get a first class ticket if she wanted to avoid fans and have privacy. If we were to produce as much of carbon dioxide this woman makes on average every fucking year, im pretty sure this fucking planet would be dead. Or at least worse off than it already is.

Remember how I gave out the definition of ethical??😊 and how it refers to a person who avoids companies or products that harm the environment or its people??😁 Yeah… pretty sure she does the EXACT FUCKING OPPOSITE!! 🙃💀

(Statement 2✌️)

“She represents feminism and for women’s rights!!🥺🥺”

…no she doesn’t. She represents only one type of feminism, WHITE feminism. Feminism, by definition, means “the advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes.” Which includes ALL ethnic minority women, including, white women. Feminism includes the advocacy of ALL women, no matter the race, class, culture, or age. It’s for all. White feminism on the other hand, is not. This expression of feminism focuses on white women and purposely fails to address the existence of minority women and other women lacking privileges. Taylor Swift is KNOWN, quite literally, to use this to her advantage! Every single time an interviewer asks her what she thinks of her haters or something related to this, she brings up feminism and cry’s wolf about the hard time she’s had in the industry as a woman.

Don’t take this the wrong way though, I’m not saying that she HASNT experienced hardships within the industry!! But she clearly is using those experiences to gain sympathy and support. She’s been in the music industry since she was 14 YEARS OLD. She knows what she’s doing. And she clearly knows HOW to do it.

She is 34 years old, she’s a grown ass woman. She has ACCESS to social media and global and economic issues. She doesn’t speak on them though. She could. And she did. She has more influence than the damn president for gods sake. Remember when she voiced her political position in the presidential election with Trump and Hillary?? No? Well let me refresh your memory. When she voiced herself as a Democrat and quite literally insulted Trump for being misogynistic, he RESPONDED and said “he liked Taylor Swift 25% less now”

….HUH!?! SHE got the damn PRESIDENT of the USA (at the time) to fucking respond to HER. Do you realize how unlikely that is for ANY other celebrity if they were to do that!?!

VERY unlikely.

The only reason he even responded was because HER statement affected his campaign and votes.

To emphasize on how much influence she has, if you still don’t believe me, when she started dating that star football player. And then her fan base found out, almost every single football game she has attended, sold out. Jerseys?? Sold out. Popularity?? Skyrocketed. Suddenly every swiftie in sight is a professional football coach and is a fan of her boyfriend’s football team. 🤯🤯

If you realize how INSANE that is, most of her fans, who probably had never even CHEERED for a football team, is now cheering for his.

Also, remember the Barbie joke told by Jo Koy?? Yeah. And Taylor Swifts reaction to his joke?? Almost every editor on TikTok and every user on every social media is screaming and posting about it. Like— not even an 24 HOURS. And there’s already edits about the golden globes. And everyone’s talking about “feminism” and the “importance of women’s rights!”

…..

But no one’s talking about the Palestinian women?? No ones talking about the women in Congo?? No ones talking about how Palestinian women don’t have access to menstrual products?? Or how they don’t have access to morphine or anesthesia to give birth?? Or how Congolese women are raped EVERY hour??? How so many of these women in so many of these places are being abused and treated??? No??? Instead we focus on the reaction of a women to a poorly made joke by a stupid man. I’m not saying he had the right to do that, I’m only saying that instead of focusing on the reaction of a women who has more influence than the US government themselves to a poorly made joke about her relationship, we should focus on REAL LIFE ISSUES!! She’s a grown ass woman who can stand up for herself. She does not need ANY help whatsoever.

He’s gotten held accountable, and I’m satisfied with that, but now that it’s over, your attention should be to the millions of women in the countries that are struggling, including ours!! Advocate for that. Don’t advocate for a woman who makes more money than 15 millionaires combined and doesn’t use her influence to empower other women, specifically women in minorities.

I’ll say it louder for the people in the back, SHES NOT A GOOD PERSON‼️‼️

(Statement 3️⃣)

“Her music is revolutionary!! Her songs are so beautiful and have so much meaning!!🥹🫶”

This is the only statement where I’ll consider its validity. You see, back when I was younger, I was a Taylor swift fan, but not big enough to be considered a swiftie. Her music was impossible to avoid and I, admittedly, still enjoy some of her songs. And some of her new songs are somewhat good. But… some of her songs… are just… not. 😬

The first part of this statement though, I kinda agree with. Due to her music and little influence she had on me as a kid, I started going down the rabbit hole of how feminism and women’s rights came into play with her music. O diverged from there and began getting into women’s rights in minority communities, and how they have less privilege than other groups of women. And it continued from there. At that point, I had learned about Taylor Swifts wrong way of advocating for women. I learned that you needed to do much more than say that the reason that so many people dislike Taylor Swift is because they are anti feminist and are misogynistic.

As I said before, she pulls the focus on her and in the process covers up other women’s accomplishments. Did you know that the first ever Native American woman was NOMINATED for best Actress??? No?? Well, here she is:

Lily Gladstone, a Native American woman nominated for best Actress in 2024. You wanna know what she did as soon as she got her award?? She spoke in her native language, Blackfeet, and said that she won’t be the last Native American to win an award. Why aren’t as many people talking about her?? She was in the same room as Taylor Swift?? And all the people who made those edits with the Barbie soundtrack, wheres the edits of her??

This woman has made HISTORY. And yet no one is talking about it.

Getting back on the topic of Taylor’s songs, while some are good and well-done. They aren’t really… anything special???? Most of the songs shes written are mostly about her past relationships.

(Which, by the way, I’ll talk about a little more in a bit)

And other topics, like revenge and love. And when you listen to her songs, they’re, admittedly, meh. Now, I’m guilty to listening to some of her songs from a long time ago. I mean— I literally owned the reputation album! I loved the songs cause I thought they were cool, but eventually, they became annoying. There are a couple of her most recent songs that I mostly enjoy, I’m pretty sure the one that goes like: “I see right through me”?? Idk but the only reason Ik it is bc it’s remixed with “always an angel, never a god” 🫠

Otherwise, I haven’t listened to much of her new music.

Now, on the topic of her dating history….Yeah. You can’t even defend her here swifties…

I’m gonna list some of the people that I remember cause I don’t know any of the others🤷:

Matt Healy (…..really)

Harry styles

Jake Gyllenhaal

I….thats it…that’s all I remember….😶

Now, in total, she’s dated about 12 publicly known exes. And has dated about 15-20 men. And I know who 3-5 of them are… Apparently she’s dated Tom Hiddleston and Zac Efron as well, but the rest I’m not sure I know. From what I can gather, from a specific Reddit post, Ty to this person btw, did math on how many songs she’s written about heartbreak and/or her exes below: 👇

This is the link to the post: Taylor Swift relationship math

And it is insane. I’ve NEVER seen that many heartbreak songs written by ONE PERSON🤯 admittedly, that’s impressive, but that is also RIDICULOUS. I get that music is an escape for most and anyone has the right to put their feelings into a song. But this…. This is astounding. I’m not gonna bash on how many songs she had written of her exes, I just wanted to show you the math.

The real issue I have with her dating history is not that she has written almost every single one of her songs about them, but mostly to the face that some of them are REALLY controversial. Specifically, Matt Healy. Who is a known racist and neo-nazi. And was known to be these things BEFORE they started dating. And was circulating around the media for a while. To the swifties who defend her bc she “broke up with him” after this, THAT DOESNT MEAN JACK SHIT SHE STILL DATED HIM WHEN ALL THAT SHIT CAME OUT.

There’s a lot more I want to say, but I’m tired and have been meaning to say stuff about Palestine other issues beside that. I saw this as an opportunity and I took it. Thank you for reading and Free Palestine 🇵🇸

[newtonsheffield]

I didn’t get off the waitlist for TS tickets so I’m currently pondering spending £750 on a resale ticket. Except I don’t think I know anyone who will also spend that on a ticket so I’m pondering how much I’d enjoy it when I’d likely be going by myself… 😬

So here’s the thing. And I’m not in a State to judge because I myself spent the better part of $900 on a VIP package that essentially means I get a tote bag and floor seats (I’m in B8)

I think you’ll have a great time even if you go alone. I have been to three other Taylor Swift concerts and every single time I have known the groups sitting either side of my friend and I’s favourite Taylor Swift song by the end of the night. Everyone kind of chats beforehand and then once the concert starts it’s kind of like being at the cinema: you’re so focused on what’s happening that you won’t notice that you’ve arrived by yourself.

I think you need to decide instead how disappointed will you be not to have gone at all? If you can afford it, and you want to go, I don’t think you’ll be disappointed

That being said, if you’re buying resale, please do it safely and make sure you can get your money back if you don’t get the tickets

[imagines-r-s]

terms and conditions

chapter 2

series masterlist

a/n: sorry for how long this took. because of school, i was only able to work on it occasionally, which i am genuinely so sorry for. i appreciate your patience.

taglist: @stxrniqlo @dojacatismywife @gillybear17 @obx-thoughts

warnings: mentions of asher

w.c: 2.8k

“Why won’t you just tell us what he did to you?” Charlie asked, pacing behind you as you continued to play one of your favorite pieces on the piano.

“I don’t know why you keep asking, Miller, she’s playing the piano right now, which is basically y/n saying ‘shut the fuck up and leave me alone’,” Rafe said, not looking up from his phone. Rafe knew better than anyone that you picked whatever songs you played based off your mood. 

Like the time that you only played the end of ‘Bennie and the Jets’ by Elton John for a week after finding out that you got to go to see one of your favorite artists in concert with VIP tickets for a meet and greet. Or throughout everything that happened with your dad, when all you played were a variety of depressing piano ballads by Taylor Swift, Bon Iver, and Lord Huron. 

And for the past hour, you’ve been playing songs by all three. 

“Yes, which I also know is a sign she needs to talk about whatever is bothering her,” Charlie said, moving to sit next to Rafe on the couch, “please tell me you know that, too.”

“Yeah, I know, but after yesterday at the restaurant I can tell that we won’t get it out of her anytime. And before you ask, yes that worries me, but I can’t really do much about it at this exact moment.”

The two of them looked over to you as you played the ending of “The Night We Met” by Lord Huron and as soon as they heard you start another song, Charlie pulled you from the piano. “Okay, honey. I’m either going to need you to play something more lively or get away from the piano.”

Your eyebrows furrowed, “but you love my playing?”

“Yes, yes, I do, but not when it’s the same depressing shit that Rafe has on his sad playlist for when Kie repeatedly rejects him.”

“Hey,” Rafe said, incredulously, “you said you wouldn’t bring that up, dude.”

“Yeah, sorry. Anyways, you’re here for the summer and summer is fun, okay? So, no more sad music. Now go get ready, we’re going out to the country club today.”

“Do we have to?”

“Yes,” the boys said simultaneously. 

“We’ll meet you out there in 15 and Kelce and Top are on their way,” Rafe added before walking away. 

☾⋆

You had lived rent free in JJ’s head since he saw you at The Wreck the other day. He knew that he would get to see you if Ward worked his plan of having JJ show you around and such, but there was something about you that he couldn’t ignore - he didn’t exactly know what that was yet, but he knew there was something. 

Trying to gather his bearings for work, he went back to the kitchen and put on his apron - hoping that to some extent dealing with a bunch of rich assholes might take his mind off you to some degree. The only problem was as he walked out to deal with his tables, he saw you and the boys making their way toward one of his usual tables. 

“Maybank, you get the Cameron table,” his manager, Justin’s, voice rang out. 

“JT, please, just this one time, can you take it?”

“One, quit calling me JT, asshat. And two, I thought you settled your stuff with Rafe and them?”

“Yes, but-”

“Then, if there’s not another logical reason, I will not be adding a table to my service today.”

“Could bribery work?”

“I make a lot more money than you, Maybank, so unless it’s a valuable quantity, it’s still a no from me, dawg. Just go serve them. The sooner you do, the sooner they leave,” Justin said, practically shoving JJ towards the table. 

JJ resisted the pushing to the best of his ability, “JT, please, I’m begging.”

“Go.” And with that JJ finally let up and made his way over to your table.

Rafe was the first to notice JJ heading their way and sent a subtle nod in his direction. “Maybank, hey man. You our server today?”

Much to his dismay, yes. “Yeah, you guys get to be graced with my presence. What can I get you guys started with today?” JJ asked, getting his notepad out from his back pocket. Maybe if he kept his eyes focused on that, he wouldn’t make too much of a fool of himself. Quickly getting everyone’s drink order, his eyes finally looked where he had been avoiding - you. “Um, hey, what about you?”

He quickly noticed the way that your eyes immediately met his and the way that you smiled at him. “I’ll just get a water, thank you,” you paused, looking for his name tag, “JJ.”

For that reason he immediately regretted wearing his nametag today. “Alright, I’ll be back with that as soon as possible.”

“I think our dear friend just made JJ Maybank flustered, which I must applaud her for,” Kelce said, earning nods of agreement from everyone, but you, who was very much out of the loop. 

“Why is that such a big deal?”

“Well, he’s not necessarily the biggest playboy anymore - Rafe has taken that spot - but he is typically not visibly into people, so it’s very entertaining to witness,” Kelce said, filling you in on the situation. 

“He just asked what I wanted to drink?” you asked, even more confused how they came to that specific conclusion from that minor of an interaction. 

“Yes, but he literally looked everywhere except you and then whenever he finally spoke up, it was rushed and mumbly. He’s a cocky son of a bitch, who usually is not phased by basic conversation, so that definitely counts for something,” Topper chimed in. 

“I doubt it’s anything, see he’s coming back now, we’ll see.”

Everyone’s attention was focused on the interaction - mainly to prove their own point correct. “Alright, I have the waters, the teas, and the Shirley Temple - which by the way Charlie, I hate you for ordering that right now.”

“Sorry, blondie, I hate to disappoint,” Charlie spoke with fake sympathy. 

“It’s all good,” he spoke before turning toward you, “okay, and I’ll start with you as far as what you want to eat. What’s it going to be, babe?”

“Oh, babe? I got my own nickname now?” you asked, egging him on to prove everyone’s point wrong. 

“Well, I mean, sorry. If you don’t want the nickname-” He was so screwed. 

“J, it’s cool. What would you recommend though?”

“Oh, um. Honestly, I’m not a salad person, but I really like our salads. Any of our pasta is to die for, just up to you and what you like.”

You smiled, “Ok, well surprise me, I’m cool with whatever.” Listening as he got the rest of everyone’s orders, you quickly noted how different he acted with everyone else in comparison to you. You could tell just by those quick moments that there was a very obvious difference in dynamics. “Look, I’m not going to say that any of you are right, but there was definitely a difference.”

“Told you,” Rafe and Charlie said, simultaneously. 

The rest of lunch went smoothly, with quite a few more interactions between you and JJ. You could tell that over time he was beginning to get a bit more comfortable with you, to the point that the two of you were both cracking jokes later on. Eventually as all of you finished eating, you gathered your things to head out, “Hey man, see you tomorrow morning?” Rafe asked, which threw you off slightly. 

“Yeah, Rose and Ward both want me to help with planning for Midsummer’s, so I’ll be there pretty much everyday for the next month,” he spoke as he started packing up the table.

“Wait, you work for the Cameron’s?” you spoke up, seeking clarification. 

“Yeah, I do the gardening for Rose and then any other lawn work, boat stuff, or whatever else for Ward. Anything helps, you know. Anyways, you guys have a good one, I’ll see you around.”

JJ watched as the group left the country club as he got the table cleaned up. He headed back to the kitchen ready for another table when Justin stopped him, “so she’s the reason you didn’t want to work that table, huh?”

☾⋆

Waking up the next morning, you finally decided to unpack for the summer. Taking out your clothes and getting your makeup and toiletries settled, you tried to make the Cameron guest room as homey as you could - especially considering that you didn’t exactly have any other options. As you were folding some clothes into your drawer, you heard a soft knock on your door, “come in.” 

“Hey, I come with peace offerings and hope that you’ll talk about your problems,” Rafe said, carrying in the tray that held your favorite breakfast items. “Obviously, you can still have breakfast, even if you don’t talk about whatever happened, but you already know my preference.” He finished off by sending you a sickly, sweet smile before sitting on the edge of your bed.

“What do you want to know, Rafe?” you said, putting some clothes on a hanger and turning away from him. 

“Whatever you’re fine with sharing, Buttercup. I’m not going to force anything out of you, but there’s obviously much to discuss. I just don’t want you to feel like you can’t talk to anyone about anything that’s going on, you know. I’ll be here for you either way, tea time or not.”

Joining Rafe on the side of your bed, you let out a deep breath and a small chuckle, “uh. Asher or why am I here first?”

“Well, not to start this off on a wrong foot, but the Asher thing has been pressing on me since yesterday.”

“Connections are connections.”

“Connections are- huh?”

“That’s what Asher told me right before I broke up with him. The situations kinda go hand in hand, so it kinda just varies on what playing field you look at it on, but nonetheless, I-”

“He said that to you? What the fuck, y/n?” 

You let out another sigh, “do you remember that school that I told you about?”

“With the really nice music program… Johnston’s, right?” he watched as you nodded, “yeah, you mentioned it before you tried out how excited you were and how you were going to convince your mom to let you go, if you got it.”

You nodded, staring straight ahead, “yeah, uh, she found out I got in, got really upset about it, and said I couldn’t go. So, in rational fashion, I went to my boyfriend with the issue and he said it was a silly hobby of mine and that I need to focus on my actual career, like my mom wants. I tried to talk to him about it and how it wasn’t just a hobby and then he started going on about how he should have known I wasn’t serious about being CEO and that he should have picked a better connection.”

Rafe sat in a moment in stunned silence as he processed what you had told him, “y/n.”

“Yeah?” you asked, as if you hadn’t just dropped the most shocking information he could have heard. 

“What the actual fuck?” he stood up quickly and started pacing, “Yeah, no, I see why you didn’t tell anyone else because then you would have had to convince more people not to fly to Asher and pummel his face in. I’m only here right now as I’m still in conversation with you, but what?”

“Yeah, I really don’t know and I just… I feel stupid for not knowing, you know.”

“Don’t blame yourself for his mediocrity. That’s a him problem, not you. I’m sorry you were victim to it though because that was so out of pocket. Is he why you’re here?”

“To some extent, I guess. Not exactly,” you continued watching him pace, “but please don’t tell the boys until I’m ready, I understand why you think you should, but please wait a while.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course, buttercup. Whatever you need I’m here for you,” he made a final turn before giving you a hug. “You deserve so much better than that. I’m sorry.”

You stayed quiet for quite some time. “I think I’m just going to take today easy; practice some piano, do whatever.”

“Please don’t play any Lord Huron, I can’t deal with that today, too.”

“Yeah, I can make do without Lord Huron, got to make sure I save that for whenever Kie rejects you again.” 

“Oh, hey, that was unnecessary. And for payback, I won’t tell you that JJ works today.” 

Grabbing a pillow from your bed, you quickly tossed it in his direction, “oh my god, leave.”

Finishing up your breakfast, you made your way downstairs to the piano. Even throughout all that had happened, you found no ill will towards how you felt about playing the piano. Asher’s words of it only being a hobby and your mother’s disapproval were easily drowned out when your hands hit the keys and the melody of these familiar songs filled the air. If there was one thing that you could always count on, it was this.

Walking into Tannyhill, JJ’s ears immediately picked up on the sound of a piano playing, but he continued on his way under the assumption that it was just someone listening to music. It wasn’t until he passed the Grand Room where the piano was, that he saw you sitting there. The song was familiar to him, but not enough that he could immediately recognize the song; but in all honesty, the song was the least of his concerns. 

Maybe it was the outfit you picked today. Or the way your hair looked today. Or maybe it had something to do with the fact that your body showed how into the music you were. The way that your hands moved so gracefully; or that your body swayed with the music; or how after specific parts of the song, the corners of your mouth would lift up. 

“J, it’s rude to stare” you said, causing his eyes to snap to you, only to find that your eyes weren’t even on him. 

“I wasn’t staring,” he said, “I was just, um, admiring. That was really good by the way.” 

As you finished up the song, you finally took the opportunity to look at him. Your eyes immediately went to the red cutout tee that he was wearing that day, moreso the way his arms looked in the shirt itself. 

Noticing the way that you were staring at him, some of his usual cockiness was able to seep through whatever wall you had somehow put up, “It’s rude to stare, you know.”

“Don’t worry, J, I was just admiring,” he watched as you stood up from the piano and made your way closer to him. “What all are you working on today?”

“Nothing crazy, just pulling weeds for Rose. Why? What’s up?”

“Oh, I was just wondering and I like to ask questions, so.” 

The smile on JJ’s face grew a little, “well, perfect for you, I love answering questions,” He actually hated answering questions, but he wanted a reason to keep talking to you, “but you have to let me ask you some questions, too. Deal?” 

“Deal.” 

☾⋆

JJ didn’t leave Tannyhill for another few hours, which normally he would have been quick to complain about, but he was able to spend all that time with you. Really, he had no room to complain, the only thing in his head was the nagging thought about what Ward was having him do. 

He chose to ignore the fact that he was at least two hours late to the plans that he had with the pogues, but he knew that they would forgive him for it. Riding back to the Chateau, he was immediately welcomed to everyone chilling out with drinks in hand already. 

“Well, would you look at that? JJ finally decided to join us,” John B’s voice rang out as he made his way up the steps of the chateau, “how was work?”

“It was good, can’t complain when all I had to do was pull some weeds.” 

“Doesn’t pulling weeds only take you like an hour? You were gone for four,” Pope’s voice added. 

“Yeah, usually, I don't know what all happened, uh, the ecosystem and all that was on overdrive,” he spoke slowly, hoping that whatever he was saying made sense, “so it took a while.” 

“Something was on overdrive, that’s for sure,” Sarah said, “something to do with a specific pianist that’s residing in my house for the summer?”

A chuckle left his mouth before he could pick up on it, “pianist. That’s such a funny word.”

“Didn’t answer the question,” Sarah stated. 

“I just figured that it would be smart to introduce myself,” he said, with a simple shrug. Maybe they would believe that an introduction took four hours.

[hotliljewishgirl]

Post-Jangle Ball Ramblings

I saw JB in Philly last night and it left me genuinely speechless. It was my first time ever seeing them live after ten years of obsessing over their content from afar, and it was everything I could have asked for or dreamed of. I HIGHLY encourage anyone who’s on the fence to get tickets. You won’t regret it.

Starkid means so much to me. I cannot begin to list all the ways they’ve helped me and changed me, and last night represented the fulfillment of a dream I’ve had since I was nine years old. I won’t get too corny here, mostly because nothing I could say would do justice to how much I love these artists and this community, but I wanted to say – thank you to everyone who made the past ten years of being a Starkid fan so special.

Bear with me here, because I have a lot of Feelings. Be aware this post does contain spoilers for Jangle Ball. Without further ado, my thoughts:

We been knew, but everyone is SO talented and seeing them perform was a magical, life-changing, incredible, unforgettable experience.

Also everyone looked ridiculously good and I am not ok. The variation in outfits was hilarious though. I’m not sure what they were told to wear, but it ranged from Lauren in a very sexy sheer top to Jamie in a festive red dress to Dylan just chilling in flannel. None of them looked like they were going to the same event and I loved it.

Janaya’s Stutter was iconic and I want to listen to it on repeat. Lauren’s background dancing was equally amazing despite the fact it induced a severe state of gay panic.

I wish we got more Show Stopping Number from Joey and James. I wasn’t sure anyone other than R*bert would be able to pull off that song and I’ve never been happier to be wrong. I actually think either of them would make a great Hidgens if Nick doesn’t want to take on the role.

Dylan blew me away. I knew he talented but tbh he completely stole the show in the first act with the Twisted numbers. Not only does he have an incredible voice, but his stage presence is ridiculous (and I made eye contact with him briefly. My life is complete. Now I can finally lay down and die.)

I loved the Status Quo parody and I was so glad to see JOEY perform it again (no shade to Alex and Mariah but they just can’t compare to the OG). I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – if they pulled a Taylor Swift and re-recorded all their old cast albums I would literally give them all my money. I love the old songs and it was so special to see them performed.

Queen B…I think I briefly blacked out. I honestly don’t listen to that song much because I’m not really one for rap, but I might start now. Lauren killed it. My favorite thing about her as a performer is how versatile she is. Not every one can pull off a number like that, but she did it effortlessly. I was equal parts terrified and aroused, which is exactly what that song should do. Shout out to Brian and James dancing backup. The dancing in this show truly blew me away. I was not expecting that many choreographed numbers given how little they rehearsed, and I’m so glad (and impressed) that they managed to do it. It just brought the energy up and was so fun to watch.

A lil nitpick: I get that Cup of Roasted Coffee, Stutter, Show Stopping Number, and the Wiggly Jingle are technically villain songs but they don’t really give that energy? And Deck the Halls, We Got Work to Do, Climate Change, and Status Quo are straight up not villain songs. I liked the whole “ the villain is capitalism” angle but tbh when I heard they were performing villain songs I was expecting like…Wagon on Fire. Rogues Medley. Kick It Up a Notch. The classic Starkid villain songs, you know? I LOVED the set list as it was and I wouldn’t trade it for anything but I think there was a tiny flaw in marketing. And now I’ll get off my soapbox.

I try to keep my Richpez shipping off this blog but holy shit, I need to freak out for a minute. In person or through a screen, their love, pride, affection for each other is palpable. They way Lauren looks at Joey while he’s performing, the casual touches, the way he kept trying to make her break on stage…it brought tears to my eyes. And that’s not even touching on Priceless. Seeing them dancing together and holding each other like that in front of hundreds of people broke me. I’m so happy for them, not only that they have each other but also that they feel comfortable sharing it with us. The same goes for Breredith (the kiss in Final Ghost was both completely unnecessary and a fantastic addition)

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the band. The music was on point. I don’t know if they wrote new arrangements for the tour, but I did notice it was very “beat-heavy” (is that a thing??) which made it very fun and easy to dance along – perfect for a concert. Also, AJ’s number was fucking incredible and I’m so glad I got to see him sing. It literally gave me AVPSY flashbacks. He’s only gotten more talented since then. I wish we could see him in more Starkid shows. Lastly, I will never stop thanking Clark for writing VHSCC. It’s a energetic, touching, unique take on a familiar story and by far my favorite adaptation of CC. I want him to write more music for Starkid shows.

Thanks for reading my stream of consciousness if you’ve gotten this far. I’m going to post another one for act two (because otherwise this post is going to be way too long).

[xtruss]

2023 Person Of The Year: Taylor Swift

— By Sam Lansky | Photographs By Inez And Vinoodh For TIME | Published: December 6, 2023

Taylor Swift is telling me a story, and when Taylor Swift tells you a story, you listen, because you know it’s going to be good—not only because she’s had an extraordinary life, but because she’s an extraordinary storyteller. This one is about a time she got her heart broken, although not in the way you might expect.

She was 17, she says, and she had booked the biggest opportunity of her life so far—a highly coveted slot opening for country superstar Kenny Chesney on tour. “This was going to change my career,” she remembers. “I was so excited.” But a couple weeks later, Swift arrived home to find her mother Andrea sitting on the front steps of their house. “She was weeping,” Swift says. “Her head was in her hands as if there had been a family emergency.” Through sobs, Andrea told her daughter that Chesney’s tour had been sponsored by a beer company. Taylor was too young to join. “I was devastated,” Swift says.

But some months later, at Swift’s 18th birthday party, she saw Chesney’s promoter. He handed her a card from Chesney that read, as Swift recalls, “I’m sorry that you couldn’t come on the tour, so I wanted to make it up to you.” With the note was a check. “It was for more money than I’d ever seen in my life,” Swift says. “I was able to pay my band bonuses. I was able to pay for my tour buses. I was able to fuel my dreams.”

Swift’s accomplishments as an artist—culturally, critically, and commercially—are so legion that to recount them seems almost beside the point. As a pop star, she sits in rarefied company, alongside Elvis Presley, Michael Jackson, and Madonna; as a songwriter, she has been compared to Bob Dylan, Paul McCartney, and Joni Mitchell. As a businesswoman, she has built an empire worth, by some estimates, over $1 billion. And as a celebrity—who by dint of being a woman is scrutinized for everything from whom she dates to what she wears—she has long commanded constant attention and knows how to use it. (“I don’t give Taylor advice about being famous,” Stevie Nicks tells me. “She doesn’t need it.”) But this year, something shifted. To discuss her movements felt like discussing politics or the weather—a language spoken so widely it needed no context. She became the main character of the world.

If you’re skeptical, consider it: How many conversations did you have about Taylor Swift this year? How many times did you see a photo of her while scrolling on your phone? Were you one of the people who made a pilgrimage to a city where she played? Did you buy a ticket to her concert film? Did you double-tap an Instagram post, or laugh at a tweet, or click on a headline about her? Did you find yourself humming “Cruel Summer” while waiting in line at the grocery store? Did a friend confess that they watched clips of the Eras Tour night after night on TikTok? Or did you?

Her epic career-retrospective tour recounting her artistic “eras,” which played 66 dates across the Americas this year, is projected to become the biggest of all time and the first to gross over a billion dollars; analysts talked about the “Taylor effect,” as politicians from Thailand, Hungary, and Chile implored her to play their countries. Cities, stadiums, and streets were renamed for her. Every time she came to a new place, a mini economic boom took place as hotels and restaurants saw a surge of visitors. In releasing her concert movie, Swift bypassed studios and streamers, instead forging an unusual pact with AMC, giving the theater chain its highest single-day ticket sales in history. There are at least 10 college classes devoted to her, including one at Harvard; the professor, Stephanie Burt, tells TIME she plans to compare Swift’s work to that of the poet William Wordsworth. Friendship bracelets traded by her fans at concerts became a hot accessory, with one line in a song causing as much as a 500% increase in sales at craft stores. When Swift started dating Travis Kelce, the Kansas City Chief and two-time Super Bowl champion, his games saw a massive increase in viewership. (Yes, she somehow made one of America’s most popular things—football—even more popular.) And then there’s her critically hailed songbook—a catalog so beloved that as she rereleases it, she’s often breaking chart records she herself set. She’s the last monoculture left in our stratified world.

It’s hard to see history when you’re in the middle of it, harder still to distinguish Swift’s impact on the culture from her celebrity, which emits so much light it can be blinding. But something unusual is happening with Swift, without a contemporary precedent. She deploys the most efficient medium of the day—the pop song—to tell her story. Yet over time, she has harnessed the power of the media, both traditional and new, to create something wholly unique—a narrative world, in which her music is just one piece in an interactive, shape-shifting story. Swift is that story’s architect and hero, protagonist and narrator.

This was the year she perfected her craft—not just with her music, but in her position as the master storyteller of the modern era. The world, in turn, watched, clicked, cried, danced, sang along, swooned, caravanned to stadiums and movie theaters, let her work soundtrack their lives. For Swift, it’s a peak. “This is the proudest and happiest I’ve ever felt, and the most creatively fulfilled and free I’ve ever been,” Swift tells me. “Ultimately, we can convolute it all we want, or try to overcomplicate it, but there’s only one question.” Here, she adopts a booming voice. “Are you not entertained?”

A few months before I sit with Swift in New York, on a summer night in Santa Clara, Calif., which has been temporarily renamed Swiftie Clara in her honor, I am in a stadium with nearly 70,000 other people having a religious experience. The crowd is rapturous and Swift beatific as she gazes out at us, all high on the same drug. Her fans are singularly passionate, not just in the venue but also online, as they analyze clues, hints, and secret messages in everything from her choreography to her costumes—some deliberately planted, others not. (“Taylor Swift fans are the modern-day equivalent of those cults who would consistently have inaccurate rapture predictions like once a month,” as one viral tweet noted.)

Standing in the arena, it’s not hard to understand why this is the biggest thing in the world. “Beatlemania and Thriller have nothing on these shows,” says Swift’s friend and collaborator Phoebe Bridgers. Fans in Argentina pitched tents outside the venue for months to get prime spots, with some quitting their jobs to commit to fandom full time. Across the U.S., others lined up for days, while those who didn’t get in “Taylor-gated” in nearby parking lots so they could pick up the sound. When tickets went on sale last year, Ticketmaster crashed. Although 4.1 million tickets were sold for the 2023 shows—including over 2 million on the first day, a new record—scalpers jacked up prices on the secondary market to more than $22,000. Multiple fans filed lawsuits. The Justice Department moved forward with an investigation. The Senate held a hearing. Given these stakes, Swift had to deliver.

Ticketmaster and Live Nation executives testified at a Senate hearing after demand for tickets overwhelmed the siteAl Drago—Bloomberg/Getty Images

“I knew this tour was harder than anything I’d ever done before by a long shot,” Swift says. Each show spans over 180 minutes, including 40-plus songs from at least nine albums; there are 16 costume changes, pyrotechnics, an optical illusion in which she appears to dive into the stage and swim, and not one but two cottagecore worlds, which feature an abundance of moss.

In the past, Swift jokes, she toured “like a frat guy.” This time, she began training six months ahead of the first show. “Every day I would run on the treadmill, singing the entire set list out loud,” she said. “Fast for fast songs, and a jog or a fast walk for slow songs.” Her gym, Dogpound, created a program for her, incorporating strength, conditioning, and weights. “Then I had three months of dance training, because I wanted to get it in my bones,” she says. “I wanted to be so over-rehearsed that I could be silly with the fans, and not lose my train of thought.” She worked with choreographer Mandy Moore—recommended by her friend Emma Stone, who worked with Moore on La La Land—since, as Swift says, “Learning choreography is not my strong suit.” With the exception of Grammy night—which was “hilarious,” she says—she also stopped drinking. “Doing that show with a hangover,” she says ominously. “I don’t want to know that world.”

Swift’s arrival in a city energized the local economy. When Eras kicked off in Glendale, Ariz., she generated more revenue for its businesses than the 2023 Super Bowl, which was held in the same stadium. Fans flew across the country, stayed in hotels, ate meals out, and splurged on everything from sweatshirts to limited-edition vinyl, with the average Eras attendee reportedly spending nearly $1,300. Swift sees the expense and effort incurred by fans as something she needs to repay: “They had to work really hard to get the tickets,” she says. “I wanted to play a show that was longer than they ever thought it would be, because that makes me feel good leaving the stadium.” The “Taylor effect” was noticed at the highest levels of government. “When the Federal Reserve mentions you as the reason economic growth is up, that’s a big deal,” says Ed Tiryakian, a finance professor at Duke University.

Carrying an economy on your back is a lot for one person. After she plays a run of shows, Swift takes a day to rest and recover. “I do not leave my bed except to get food and take it back to my bed and eat it there,” she says. “It’s a dream scenario. I can barely speak because I’ve been singing for three shows straight. Every time I take a step my feet go crunch, crunch, crunch from dancing in heels.” Maintaining her strength through workouts between shows is key. “I know I’m going on that stage whether I’m sick, injured, heartbroken, uncomfortable, or stressed,” she says. “That’s part of my identity as a human being now. If someone buys a ticket to my show, I’m going to play it unless we have some sort of force majeure.” (A heat wave in Rio de Janeiro caused chaos during Swift’s November run as one fan, Ana Clara Benevides Machado, reportedly collapsed during the show and later died; Swift wrote on Instagram that she had a “shattered heart.” She rescheduled the next show because of unsafe conditions, and spent time with Benevides Machado’s family at her final tour date in Brazil.)

Top: Swift told TIME she started training six months in advance of the Eras Tour, which kicked off in March. Courtesy TAS Rights Management Bottom: Austin, Andrea, and Scott Swift with Taylor at NYU graduation in 2022 where she received an honorary Doctorate of Fine Arts. Courtesy TAS Rights Management

Swift is many things onstage—vulnerable and triumphant, playful and sad—but the intimacy of her songcraft is front and center. “Her work as a songwriter is what speaks most clearly to me,” says filmmaker Greta Gerwig, whose feminist Barbie was its own testament to the idea that women can be anything. “To write music that is from the deepest part of herself and have it directly speak into the souls of other people.” As Swift whips through the eras, she’s not trying to update her old songs, whether the earnest romance of “You Belong With Me” or the millennial ennui of “22,” so much as she is embracing them anew. She’s modeling radical self-acceptance on the world’s largest stage, giving the audience a space to revisit their own joy or pain, once dismissed or forgotten. I tell Swift that the show made me think of a meme that says, “Do not kill the part of you that is cringe—kill the part of you that cringes.” “Yes!” she exclaims. “Every part of you that you’ve ever been, every phase you’ve ever gone through, was you working it out in that moment with the information you had available to you at the time. There’s a lot that I look back at like, ‘Wow, a couple years ago I might have cringed at this.’ You should celebrate who you are now, where you’re going, and where you’ve been.”

Getting to this place of harmony with her past took work; there’s a dramatic irony, she explains, to the success of the tour. “It’s not lost on me that the two great catalysts for this happening were two horrendous things that happened to me,” Swift says, and this is where the story takes a turn. “The first was getting canceled within an inch of my life and sanity,” she says plainly. “The second was having my life’s work taken away from me by someone who hates me.”

Swift shows me some things she loves in her apartment: a Stevie Nicks Barbie that sits still boxed in her kitchen, sent to her by the artist; the framed note from Paul McCartney that hangs in her bathroom; tiles around the fireplace that Swift found shopping in Paris with her mother. Connections to her family are everywhere, including a striking photo of her grandmother Marjorie, an opera singer and the inspiration for a track on her album evermore. Swift grew up on a Christmas-tree farm in Pennsylvania, with her younger brother Austin; her father Scott was a stockbroker at Merrill Lynch, and Andrea worked in marketing. Her family still works closely with her today. “My dad, my mom, and my brother come up with some of the best ideas in my career,” Swift says. “I always joke that we’re a small family business.”

After moving to Nashville as a teen, she signed with Scott Borchetta’s Big Machine Records. Swift’s songwriting ability was evident from the first lyrics of “Tim McGraw,” her debut single: “He said the way my blue eyes shined put those Georgia stars to shame that night—I said, ‘That’s a lie.’” Even for country music these lyrics are literary—conjuring a romantic fantasy, then deflating it a line later. The fairy-tale promise of love and intimacy became a runner in Swift’s work as a songwriter, something she’d repeatedly espouse, then skewer; she was self-aware about the role narrative played in her expectations. She was seen as a gifted pop-country ingenue when, in a now infamous moment, Kanye West interrupted Swift onstage at the 2009 VMAs while she was accepting an award. The incident set in motion a chain of events that would shape the next decade of both artists’ lives.

It was around that time, Swift remembers now, that she began trying to shape-shift. “I realized every record label was actively working to try to replace me,” she says. “I thought instead, I’d replace myself first with a new me. It’s harder to hit a moving target.” Swift wrote songs solo, incorporated diverse sonic influences, and placed more clues about personal relationships in her lyrics and album materials for fans to decode. Her epic ballad “All Too Well,” from 2012’s Red, epitomizes Swift’s superpower as a songwriter, deploying tossed-off details like a forgotten scarf that comes back at the song’s end to stab you in the heart—but it also had a secret message hidden in the liner notes. When an extended version of the song hit No. 1 last year upon its rerelease, it wasn’t only because the song is extraordinary, but because it has its own lore, like Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain” if it came with an experiential puzzle for fans to solve. “She’s like a whole room of writers as one person, with that voice and charisma,” Bridgers says. “She’s everything at once.”

Swift knew she had to keep innovating. “By the time an artist is mature enough to psychologically deal with the job, they throw you out at 29, typically,” she says. “In the ’90s and ’00s, it seems like the music industry just said: ‘OK, let’s take a bunch of teenagers, throw them into a fire, and watch what happens. By the time they’ve accumulated enough wisdom to do their job effectively, we’ll find new teenagers.’” She went full-throttle pop for 2014’s 1989, putting her on top of the world—“an imperial phase,” she calls it. She didn’t realize it would also give her much farther to fall. Public sentiment turned—sniping about everything from her perceived overexposure to conspiracy theories about her politics. “I had all the hyenas climb on and take their shots,” she says. West wrote a song with vulgar lyrics about her, and claimed that Swift had consented to it, which Swift denied; West’s then wife, Kim Kardashian, released a video of a conversation between West and Swift that seemed to indicate that Swift had been on board with the song. The scandal was tabloid catnip; it made Swift look like a snake, which is what people called her. She felt it was “a career death,” she says. “Make no mistake—my career was taken away from me.”

It was a bleak moment. “You have a fully manufactured frame job, in an illegally recorded phone call, which Kim Kardashian edited and then put out to say to everyone that I was a liar,” she says. “That took me down psychologically to a place I’ve never been before. I moved to a foreign country. I didn’t leave a rental house for a year. I was afraid to get on phone calls. I pushed away most people in my life because I didn’t trust anyone anymore. I went down really, really hard.” (Kardashian wrote, in a 2020 social media post, that the situation “forced me to defend him.”) Swift’s next album, 2017’s Reputation, featured snake imagery; the video for “Look What You Made Me Do” saw her killing off younger versions of herself. She remembers Reputation being met with uproar and skepticism. “I thought that moment of backlash was going to define me negatively for the rest of my life,” she says. She had also satisfied her record deal with Borchetta, and knew she wanted out. “The molecular chemistry of that old label was that every creative choice I wanted to make was second-guessed,” she says. “I was really overthinking these albums.”

She met with Lucian Grainge, the CEO of Universal Music Group, and Monte Lipman, who runs Universal’s top label Republic Records, to talk about signing a deal that would give her more agency. Today, Grainge is perhaps the most powerful executive in the music industry, but, as I sit with him in his office in Los Angeles, he describes himself as an “old punk” who operates on instinct more than metrics. He told Swift, he says, “We will utilize everything that we’ve got as a company for you.” Swift felt like she’d been given carte blanche: “Lucian and Monte basically said to me, ‘Whatever you turn in, we will be proud to put out. We give you 100% creative freedom and trust.’” It was exactly what she needed to hear most when the chips were down.

Yet the release of Swift’s first album with Republic, 2019’s Lover, coincided with the second big upheaval in her professional life: Borchetta had sold Big Machine—and with it, Swift’s catalog, valued then at a reported $140 million—to Ithaca Holdings, which is owned by music manager Scooter Braun, a former ally of West’s. “With the Scooter thing, my masters were being sold to someone who actively wanted them for nefarious reasons, in my opinion,” Swift says. (“It makes me sad that Taylor had that reaction to the deal,” Braun told Variety in 2021.) The sale meant that the rights to Swift’s first six albums moved to Braun, so whenever someone wanted to license one of those songs, he would be the one to profit. Swift rallied her fans against the deal, but still felt powerless. “I was so knocked on my ass by the sale of my music, and to whom it was sold,” she says. “I was like, ‘Oh, they got me beat now. This is it. I don’t know what to do.’” She went back to work, using the pandemic lockdown to pare back her sound on critically acclaimed albums folklore and evermore.

Around the same time, she started thinking about rerecording her old albums in an effort to wrest back control. “I’d run into Kelly Clarkson and she would go, ‘Just redo it,’” Swift says. “My dad kept saying it to me too. I’d look at them and go, ‘How can I possibly do that?’ Nobody wants to redo their homework if on the way to school, the wind blows your book report away.” Since Swift wrote her own songs, she retained the musical composition copyright and could rerecord them. She also negotiated to own the master rights for her material when she moved over to Republic in 2018, so she now owns her new material and the rerecorded songs. (Major labels have since made it more difficult for artists to rerecord their music.) She began rerecording subtly different versions of her old albums, tagging them “(Taylor’s Version)” and adding unreleased tracks to redirect listenership to them. She frames the strategy as a coping mechanism. “It’s all in how you deal with loss,” she says. “I respond to extreme pain with defiance.”

Top: Swift performs at Foro Sol in Mexico City on Aug. 24. Hector Vivas—TAS23/Getty Images for TAS Rights Management Bottom: After playing Kansas City in July, Swift returned in October to support her boyfriend, Chiefs star Travis Kelce. David Eulitt—Getty Images

Grainge calls the rerecording project “bizarrely brilliant and unique”—something that only an artist at her level could pull off. “It’s got such a narrative—there’s a reason for it.” He shakes his head. “Imagine Picasso painting something that he painted a few years ago, then re-creating it with the colors of today.” Part of the success story, Swift says, is the freedom she received from the label to follow her instincts. “If you look at what I’ve put out since then, it’s more albums in the last few years than I did in the first 15 years of my career,” she says. That prolific output has fueled her ascension. “She could serve two terms as President of the United States and then go to Las Vegas,” Grainge says. “Who else can do that?”

In the grand narrative of Swift’s life, as she rose this year, her foes’ fortunes also seemed to turn. Over the summer, it was reported that several of Braun’s key clients—chief among them Justin Bieber and Ariana Grande—were no longer being managed by his company, while West’s antisemitic and other offensive remarks led to his losing key endorsement deals. Swift knows firsthand that fame is a seesaw. “Nothing is permanent,” she says. “So I’m very careful to be grateful every second that I get to be doing this at this level, because I’ve had it taken away from me before. There is one thing I’ve learned: My response to anything that happens, good or bad, is to keep making things. Keep making art.” She considers. “But I’ve also learned there’s no point in actively trying to quote unquote defeat your enemies,” she says. “Trash takes itself out every single time.”

The premiere for Swift’s concert film takes place at the Grove, an outdoor mall in Los Angeles, which has been shut down for the event; Swift has packed 13 screens with thousands of fans. She goes, one by one, to each theater thanking sobbing audience members for being there. Like the tour, the film, which was released directly to theaters without a traditional partner, is an event. “We met with all the studios,” she tells me, “and we met with all the streamers, and we sized up how it was perceived and valued, and if they had high hopes and dreams for it. Ultimately I did what I tend to do more and more often these days, which is to bet on myself.” She credits her father with the idea. “He just said, why does there have to be a—for lack of a better word—middleman?”

In the theater excitement ripples through the crowd, a mix of fans and Swift’s friends, as we wait for her. To my left are two dedicated Swifties, sisters who introduce themselves as Madison, 23, and McCall, 20, and who are still reeling from taking a selfie with Swift on the red carpet. Their wrists are covered in friendship bracelets, some of which are deep cuts—such as no it’s BECKY, a reference to a beloved Tumblr meme, and BLEACHELLA STAN, for Swift’s 2016 platinum blond bob—and Madison reveals a tattoo on her forearm that says “Taylor’s Version.” Both tell me their favorite album is Reputation. They are my favorite people I have ever met, and I want to talk to only them for the rest of my life. Madison admires Swift for her vulnerability—“which is insane, when she’s under endless scrutiny”—while McCall cites her consistency, which she calls “a lost art form.” When I ask how McCall feels about Swift’s romantic life, she fields the question elegantly. “It’s a disservice to her to focus on that stuff,” she says. “She’s so good at making her personal experience relate to millions of people. When I listen to her songs, I think about what I’ve been through—not what she’s been through.”

Swift’s private life has long served as both grist for the tabloid mill and inspiration for her own work; she split from her longtime boyfriend, actor Joe Alwyn, earlier this year. Most recently, she’s been dating the NFL star Travis Kelce, as has been well documented when she attends his games. “I don’t know how they know what suite I’m in,” she says. “There’s a camera, like, a half-mile away, and you don’t know where it is, and you have no idea when the camera is putting you in the broadcast, so I don’t know if I’m being shown 17 times or once.” She is sensitive to the attention that’s put on her when she shows up. “I’m just there to support Travis,” she says. “I have no awareness of if I’m being shown too much and pissing off a few dads, Brads, and Chads.”

I point out that it’s a net positive for the NFL to have a few Swifties watching. “Football is awesome, it turns out,” Swift says playfully. “I’ve been missing out my whole life.” (A game she attended in October was the most-watched Sunday show since the Super Bowl.)

Given her complex history with public interest in her dating life, I say, it seems noteworthy that her relationship with Kelce has played out so publicly. Swift gently pushes back: “This all started when Travis very adorably put me on blast on his podcast, which I thought was metal as hell,” she says. “We started hanging out right after that. So we actually had a significant amount of time that no one knew, which I’m grateful for, because we got to get to know each other. By the time I went to that first game, we were a couple. I think some people think that they saw our first date at that game? We would never be psychotic enough to hard launch a first date.” The larger point, for her, is that there’s nothing to hide. “When you say a relationship is public, that means I’m going to see him do what he loves, we’re showing up for each other, other people are there and we don’t care,” she says. “The opposite of that is you have to go to an extreme amount of effort to make sure no one knows that you’re seeing someone. And we’re just proud of each other.”

Swift’s openness is one part of why her fan base leans heavily, though not exclusively, female. The Eras Tour was one critical piece of what Swift calls “a three-part summer of feminine extravaganza”—the other two parts being Gerwig’s box-office bonanza Barbie and Beyoncé’s blockbuster, culture-shifting Renaissance Tour. “To make a fun, entertaining blast of a movie, with that commentary,” she says of Barbie, “I cannot imagine how hard that was, and Greta made it look so easy.” (“I’m just a sucker for a gal who is good with words, and she is the best with them,” Gerwig says about Swift, whom she calls “Bruce Springsteen meets Loretta Lynn meets Bob Dylan.”)

Swift is no less effusive in talking about Beyoncé, who brokered a similar deal with AMC and shows up to Swift’s Los Angeles premiere; the next month, Swift returns the favor by attending Beyoncé’s in London. “She’s the most precious gem of a person—warm and open and funny,” Swift says. “And she’s such a great disrupter of music-industry norms. She taught every artist how to flip the table and challenge archaic business practices.” That her tour and Beyoncé’s were frequently juxtaposed is vexing. “There were so many stadium tours this summer, but the only ones that were compared were me and Beyoncé,” she says. “Clearly it’s very lucrative for the media and stan culture to pit two women against each other, even when those two artists in question refuse to participate in that discussion.”

To Swift, the success of all three feels like an inflection point. “If we have to speak stereotypically about the feminine and the masculine,” she says, “women have been fed the message that what we naturally gravitate toward—” She has a few examples: “Girlhood, feelings, love, breakups, analyzing those feelings, talking about them nonstop, glitter, sequins! We’ve been taught that those things are more frivolous than the things that stereotypically gendered men gravitate toward, right?” Right, I say. “And what has existed since the dawn of time? A patriarchal society. What fuels a patriarchal society? Money, flow of revenue, the economy. So actually, if we’re going to look at this in the most cynical way possible, feminine ideas becoming lucrative means that more female art will get made. It’s extremely heartening.”

Beyoncé joined Swift in Los Angeles on Oct. 11 for the first screening of her Eras Tour filmJohn Shearer—Getty Images for TAS

Amid so much attention, it seems noteworthy that Swift appears more relaxed in the public eye, not less—although I wonder out loud whether it just appears that way. She nods. “Over the years, I’ve learned I don’t have the time or bandwidth to get pressed about things that don’t matter. Yes, if I go out to dinner, there’s going to be a whole chaotic situation outside the restaurant. But I still want to go to dinner with my friends.” She sounds thoughtful. “Life is short. Have adventures. Me locking myself away in my house for a lot of years—I’ll never get that time back. I’m more trusting now than I was six years ago.”

She’s also having more fun. At her premiere, Swift sits in the same row as me, Madison, and McCall, singing along and dancing in her seat; we keep craning our necks to look at her, sharing thunderstruck looks: Isn’t this surreal? There are moments in the film when the cameras capture the enormous screens behind Swift onstage, and it feels like a house of mirrors, these myriad reflections of Taylor Swift—us watching her watch herself on a screen, which is itself showing Swift’s image on so many screens, the thousands of fans onscreen in the stadium and us in this theater, with Swift in the middle of it—all of us rapt, unable to look away.

Swift and I have been talking for a while now at her apartment, long enough that our coffees have gone cold and her cat Benjamin Button has trundled into the room, then gotten bored and left. She tells me about revisiting Reputation, which is perhaps the most charged era in the tour. “It’s a goth-punk moment of female rage at being gaslit by an entire social structure,” she says, laughing. “I think a lot of people see it and they’re just like, Sick snakes and strobe lights.” The upcoming vault tracks for Reputation will be “fire,” she promises. The rerecordings project feels like a mythical quest to her. “I’m collecting horcruxes,” she says. “I’m collecting infinity stones. Gandalf’s voice is in my head every time I put out a new one. For me, it is a movie now.”

It strikes me then that for all the talk about eras, it’s also worth thinking about genres—how Swift has moved between them in the stories she’s told. At first, it was a coming-of-age story, one about a young woman finding her way in the world and honing her voice before a fickle public. Then there were romances, great ones—tales of enchantment and desire, heartbreak and disillusionment, relationships that she both excavated for her songs and that the media documented for her with either joy or schadenfreude, depending on the day. There have been dramas with stakes so high and turns so twisty they feel Shakespearean in their scope, betrayals both personal and professional that have shaped her life. Occasionally, these stories have tipped into screwball comedy—like when a crowd in Seattle cheered so loudly it registered as an earthquake, or when, on a tour stop in Brazil, the local archdiocese allowed messages celebrating her to be projected onto the 124-ft. Christ the Redeemer statue. But they have one thing in common: Swift.

She is a maestro of self-determination, of writing her own story. The multihyphenate television creator Shonda Rhimes—no stranger to a plot twist—who has known Swift since she was a teenager, puts it simply: “She controls narrative not only in her work, but in her life,” she says. “It used to feel like people were taking shots at her. Now it feels like she’s providing the narrative—so there aren’t any shots to be taken.”

Here, Swift has told me a story about redemption, about rising and falling only to rise again—a hero’s journey. I do not say to her, in our conversation, that it did not always look that way from the outside—that, for example, when Reputation’s lead single “Look What You Made Me Do” reached No. 1 on the charts, or when the album sold 1.3 million albums in the first week, second only to 1989, she did not look like someone whose career had died. She looked like a superstar who was mining her personal experience as successfully as ever. I am tempted to say this.

But then I think, Who am I to challenge it, if that’s how she felt? The point is: she felt canceled. She felt as if her career had been taken from her. Something in her had been lost, and she was grieving it. Maybe this is the real Taylor Swift effect: That she gives people, many of them women, particularly girls, who have been conditioned to accept dismissal, gaslighting, and mistreatment from a society that treats their emotions as inconsequential, permission to believe that their interior lives matter. That for your heart to break, whether it’s from being kicked off a tour or by the memory of a scarf still sitting in a drawer somewhere or because somebody else controls your life’s work, is a valid wound, and no, you’re not crazy for being upset about it, or for wanting your story to be told.

After all, not to be corny, haven’t we all become selective autobiographers in the digital age as we curate our lives for our own audiences of any size—cutting away from the raw fabric of our lived experience to reveal the shape of the story we most want to tell, whether it’s on our own feeds or the world’s stage? I can’t blame her for being better at it than everyone else. It’s also not like she hasn’t admitted it. She sang it herself, in her song “Mastermind,” off last year’s Midnights, in a bridge so feathery you could almost miss that it marks some of the rawest, most naked songwriting of her career: “No one wanted to play with me as a little kid/ So I’ve been scheming like a criminal ever since/ To make them love me and make it seem effortless/ This is the first time I’ve felt the need to confess/ And I swear I’m only cryptic and Machiavellian because I care.”

She tells me she wrote that song after watching the Paul Thomas Anderson film Phantom Thread, which—spoiler—culminates in the reveal of a vast, layered manipulation. “Remember that last scene?” she says. “I thought, wouldn’t it be fun to have a lyric about being calculated?” She pauses. “It’s something that’s been thrown at me like a dagger, but now I take it as a compliment.”

It is a compliment. After I leave Swift’s house, I can’t stop thinking about how perfectly she crafted this story for me—the one about redemption, how she lost it all and got it back. Storytelling is what she’s always done; that’s why, Chesney tells me, he gave her that gift all those years ago. “She was a writer who had something to say,” he says. “That isn’t something you can fake by writing clichés. You can only live it, then write it as real as possible.”

She must have known that all the references she made had hidden meanings, that I’d see all the tossed-off details for the Easter eggs they were. The way she told me that story about Chesney, she knew there was a lesson, about the power of generosity, and how a crushing defeat can give way to a great and surprising gift. The way she said, “Are you not entertained?”—surely we both knew it was a quote from Gladiator, a movie in which a hero falls from grace, is forced to perform blood sport for the pleasure of spectators, and emerges victorious, having survived humiliation and debasement to soar higher than ever. And the way before I left, she showed me the note from Paul McCartney hanging in her bathroom, which has a Beatles lyric written on it—and not just any Beatles lyric, but this one: “Take these broken wings and learn to fly.” —With reporting by Leslie Dickstein and Megan McCluskey •

Styled by Heidi Bivens at Honey Artists; hair by Holli Smith; make-up by Diane Kendal; nails by Maki Sakamoto; production by VLM Productions

On the covers: Jacket, denim shirt and turtleneck by Polo Ralph Lauren; dress by Area; bodysuit by Bardot, tights by Wolford; earrings are artist’s own

On the inside: Jacket, denim shirt and turtleneck by Polo Ralph Lauren; tuxedo jacket, tuxedo shirt, vest and pocket square by Ralph Lauren Collection, jeans by Polo Ralph Lauren; dress by Alaia; rings by Anna Sheffield and Cartier; earrings are artist’s own

[yoshimonster]

Blog #5: Grades Are Tomorrow… and so are the Taylor Swift Tickets

Was highly considering not posting today, I don’t believe I posted yesterday (Monday) either and believe the void of Tumblr deserved an update rather than me being in an upset state of mind which will definitively happen tomorrow with grades release. I honestly am feeling almost equally nervous about securing Taylor Swift tickets as I am with my grades coming out. If I was more sane, perhaps the grades release would not worry me as much but it really does. Neither of my parents are working from home tomorrow and I don’t know how these tears are going to be under control. I should just expect the worst before giving myself any false hope if things turn out well that, which if that became reality would honestly be irreplaceable gift. I also released I gave my friend wrong instructions to getting Ticketek details tomorrow, I have resolved this and need to transfer money into my account for the presale tomorrow – this was thanking the stars that I ran into my sister’s plans for tomorrow. I really don’t want to take anything for granted.

In other news, I going to work on some social media stuff tomorrow as a way to be happy after grades release/exam preparation which I will most certainly need. This pit in my stomach will never go away if I am being completely honest. I think more than acceptance, I just want to appreciate what I have right now. I’m pretty lucky that I am at least in a better mental spot than last year and can face bad news better. I don’t think I should take this for granted, it’s actually lovely to grow from where I was about a year and a half ago.

My parents were a bit more understanding in recent days and I know they can tell I’m trying not to be happy in anticipation. I am grateful but to be happy in my position would be a pretty naïve move to make, let’s appreciate the fact that I can talk to you guys right now – where would I be if the internet didn’t exist! It’s been a fun week-ish of talking to Tumblr for a while. Otherwise, I am just focussing on room-cleaning, none of which I did today but a lot of which I did yesterday. I will have to continue doing so probably towards the end of this week. Still a lot of clothes to fold and books to put away. Definitely going to have exam(s) to study for too. This Friday is supposed to be me watching Spiderman too, that will be pretty intense as well because I will have these exam results weighing on me. Hopefully I can grab those Taylor tickets, I cannot wait! I can let you guys briefly know my Taylor Swift journey below.

So I definitely only listened to singles growing up, which were catchy enough. I think I fell for the ‘she dates many boys in quick succession’ trope and this was quite puzzling to me. Mostly because I took it way too literally and didn’t really register the fact that 100 songs don’t mean 100 different boys – so that was not feasible, thus she hadn’t dated as much as the media was saying so. Although, growing up I was always told to be more selective with potential people to date and it was a bit frustrating to see someone allegedly ‘date’ so much. Further, more than that, I always thought that kind of thing could take a really big toll on someone emotionally, but I do suppose really good songs were inspired by these relationships. I guess I thought of this all a bit too practically. Then during quarantine, because my sister was getting really into Taylor Swift and also because I was really bored, I think I found songs that I liked. I had previously listened to Speak Now fully in my senior year of high school and really liked it because I thought it was fairly more balanced and spoke of things that weren’t only romance exclusively. I know now that pretty much all the albums have that theme somewhere but you really have to dig for these songs and the marketing for the other albums are very first love/heartbreak etc. so probably not a great entry point for someone who likes to listen to music that is either very simple, pop, party song or ways to deal with situations in life (in non-romantic contexts) which you encounter more frequently anyways. Looking for life hacks in music naturally. I did also like quite a few songs from 1989 mostly (again all the non-romantic ones) because I heard them on radio all the time to such an overplayed degree but I guess it was part of the vibe. I do appreciate the romance songs a bit more now that my age group sort of has more established relationships and a pretty extensive hunt happening. And these encounters are pretty important to keep an open mind about – I would say the All Too Well film was very infuriating (from Her's perspective) yet it should be taken as a word of caution honestly.

I believe it’s time to sign off now! I think I’ll post a gif/meme along with this post so things look a little more fun – here’s to Taylor Swift in her cruel summer get up for Eras Tour!

-yoshimonster-

[violetsystems]

It’s getting kind of scary out here. I’m finding out a lot of people have been talking shit about me to cover up some really fucked up behavior. I don’t really need snack heads with their ears pressed up against my window. They already puke enough on my porch. They don’t even register the garbage hanging off the balcony. Maybe it’s their bat signal for some kind of crack spot. I guess I finally figured out what there was a dresser on my porch for over a year. They’ve covered up the converse they’ve had out there for years with a cardboard box to make it seem like it’s not a stash house. But one thing is clear. It’s been going for years and it’s at an inflection point. I don’t really feel free or moderately safe here anymore at all. But I’m stuck for the moment because I’m under duress. So let’s not get it twisted we’re United under one cause. You need to clean up the racketeering and the drug trafficking on the property first… and no that is not an exaggeration. I notice it all the more now that I’m dead sober. So so much for weed giving you powers of perception. I’m just smart. You want me to save your neighborhood for free and rock stars can’t be bothered not to dump company stock and break the glass ceiling for anything other than their thirst trap poses on the red carpet. Is everybody fucking high or is it just me? How can you afford your lifestyle while the rest of us live in a gated nazi slum? NBC universal must launder a lot of money. Save the drug dealing for Chicago PD. Fly traps are for pests not your unreleased gabber mixtapes. I liked the ending of Barry by the way. But let’s try not to make my life the sopranos reality show every waking fucking moment of my life. I can keep my balls shaved all by myself. Maybe you should stop breaking them before I hold you accountable. I’ve interviewed for enough waste management jobs near the airport enough to know what sewage is. Consider this my courtesy flush. And in case you were wondering. Taylor Swift tickets are more than some people’s rent… now that’s what I call inflation volume one. Glad you are making a livable wage following your dreams. Welcome to my nightmare. 🤷‍♀️

[thelasttime]

Cleveland anon again I actually don’t know if that is more unhinged or if my 1989 tour story is ??

So I had just graduated high school and was going to start college that august (🧂💨) but my college was making me go to this mandatory poor kids seminar for the whole month of July to make sure we were ~adequately prepared for the rigors~ or whatever so I was going to be out of town during the shows where I’m from but we weren’t allowed to leave campus for ANY REASON at ALL during the seminar thing so I wasn’t going to be able to go to the shows there either (which I did actually have a b-stage pit ticket for one of those but had to give it away since they imprisoned me in a dorm) ((also also I gave it away to some kid on here for free and she blocked me after I’m still mad about that))

ANYWAY. So I was like I have to go to this. And I convinced my GF at the time that it would be a great idea for us to go to Seattle for the show? We do not live near Seattle. We do not go to college near Seattle. So I like manufacture this whole ass vacation to get her to go to the Seattle 1989 date with me and I basically finance the whole thing w the proceeds from my after school part time job at a god damn MARSHALL’S because my ex SUCKS and we stayed at a super sketchy motel outside of Seattle and took the train in for the show but the show was beautiful and perfect and it was the first time I’d ever seen T live!! Also fetty wap was there and they played trap queen?? Idk that was a wild summer

There was some butthead though who was talking to the TN employee the whole time we were getting our pic taken at the booth before the show and like crying about how they were PROMISED that they would FOR CERTAIN get loft 89 and the TN employee was like ??? Who told u that?? But they just kept screaming and crying so the TN employee rushed us out to deal w them and then later on tumblr I saw that they did actually get loft 89 that night 🙃

IN CONCLUSION lmao I guess all my stories are “I spend way too much money on flying to random places for Taylor swift concerts” and yes I might randomly fly somewhere for eras don’t @ me I have credit cards I’m an adult we all die in debt anyway

omg speaking of the loft 89 / all of that - i don't know if i ever shared this but i got offered like $200 for people to take our rep room passes and go instead ???????? like this was in front of sydney from taylor nation who was wrapping the rep room bracelet around me as people were crowding around us and asking me if they could pay for our meet & greet passes ... i was 17 years old ???????????? and they were like full adults (like 25+)

anyways - yes perhaps you need to start going to concerts that are closer to your area .. although i will say that my sister and our friend flew into nashville for this eras tour and it was really fun!! just be financially responsible bestie <3

[vneuns]

— “CHAOTIC DONOS” + Hcs

author's note(s): it's 2 am im tired and need a shower but by the time you see this i'll be in my bed after having a nice shower and everything

cw warnings: light cursing, and anything else i can't think of rn

Dream

y/ntookdream donated $250 !

tell chat about the time you ate all of my sushi. I'm still upset about that, just so you know.

it’d start off as a joke-

you randomly donating large amounts of money to your boyfriend when he was streaming mostly because you couldn’t be in the room with him because of how much you were a distraction

and then it became a routine

in the random times he’d stream, you’d join and call him out on something new

“No, I'm not telling them about that. suck it.”

y/ntookdream donated $300 !

piss baby. chat. your streamer isn’t taking accountability for his actions and needs to be canceled.

“gu- chat! what the hell you fucking traitors don’t side with them. I didn't do anything wrong.”

y/ntookdream donated $350 !

chat, don't listen to him. I love you. get this trending on twitter to end his career

“you know what. new limits 1,000 dollars y/n go do some work.”

y/ntookdream donated $1,000 !

haha can’t get rid of me b word. i finished my work already cLaYtOn

the chat always finds it amusing when the two of you start going at it like this

“they’re crazy chat.” he sighed as he went back to running around the smp

after a few moments of silence dream was certain he got rid of you until he got another text to speech dono

y/ntookdream donated $2000 !

i’m back my bank tried stopping me from giving my money to my own boyfriend. can you believe that chat? who do they think they are?

“babe stop giving me money.”

the chat would ofc break out in awhs whenever you two used nicknames on each other because why wouldn’t they

y/ntookdream donated $5000 !

more you say?

“okay stream i’m ending it here before y/n dumps out their life savings.”

George

y/nfoundgeorge donated $100 !

hungry

“then go eat something.”

y/nfoundgeorge donated $200 !

idk what to eat. chat halp.

and then chat does

they just start spamming common american foods despite you living in the uk with george

y/nfoundgeorge donated $600 !

besties we don’t have burgers and fries here. shut your american butts up.

“okay n/n that’s enough.”

and then he has to set the donos to a thousand as well, in attempts to stop you

y/nfoundgeorge donated $1,000 !

never. chat you suck

george shakes his head smiling as he rolls his eyes

y/nfoundgeorge donated $ 1,500 !

Look at my pretty pretty boyfriend all cute and s word

His face heats up as he pretends to not see the dono and take this moment to self promo

“At least i'm getting the money- while you're at it, subscribe and prime now”

Sapnap

y/nsapsbeloved donated $500 !

Just got finished playing valorant feeling like a bad bitch

“Thats my sexc partner-”

y/nsapsbeloved donated 800 !

Shut the f up. Okay be quite

Chat is eating this interaction up ofc since the two of you are always acting like strangers near each other

y/nsapsbeloved donated 900 !

Omg we’re making our way to the thousand mark omg chat so exciting

“Y/n quit donating or i swear to god i'll make you sleep on the couch

Quackity

y/ninity donated $ 450 !

I miss you stop streaming

Quack would laugh and roll his eyes

“I just started streaming and you’re acting like we didn’t see each other five minutes ago

y/ninity donated $ 700 !

Okay and what about it

So then he’s forced to play along

“Guys im SO famous- i could use this money to buy a taylor swift concert ticket”

y/ninity donated $ 1,000 !

Wow is taylor donoing to you? Didn't think so

And now he’s worried

Do you know about his plan to get married to taylor swift after her first concert in La

Karl

y/njacobs donated $ 370 !

Come give me a kiss pls

“Why didn’t you just text me babe?”

y/njacobs donoated $ 450 !

Too much work

Not wanting you to keep donating a shit load of money he gets up goes in the other room and just snatches the phone from your hand

“Wha-what are you-”

And then the next thing you know it’s in his pants

“Thats TOS if you take it out”

Wilbur

wilbursy/n donated $ 560 !

Hi babe <3

First time you donate its very cute and hes like aweee

wilbursy/n donated $ 1,000 !

Love me m...f

Then second time he's not having it

He would then tackle you while everyone is clueless on stream

“AHH!”

And then he comes back with a phone in hand with a very strong grip and you try to wiggle it out and hes just streaming as usual like nothings happening

Quackity and tommy just on call questioning everything

“So how’s everyones day?”

“WIL GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK!”

@heyskeppy @inniterhq @basilly @yamturds @dysfunctionalcrab @siriushxney @sqpnap @tinyegg @ttakinou @charnease @o-0i @i-mmunity @b3l0v3ds @alice-blue-skies @the-swageyama-tobiyolo @mitzimania

@acidtabletz

[sazc94]

The Three Times James "Bucky" Barnes Broke your heart.

This was inspired by @msmarvelwrites 2k Writing Challenge because I'm a sucker for Taylor Swift especially sad Taylor Vibes. I chose the all too well lyrics.

Apparently, I can't do anything small so it's in two parts. Pairs Bucky x Reader and Pietro x Reader. (Not at the same time)

Part 1 Here

No smut but mentions of sex so 18+ Themes: highschool, cheating, college/uni. Friendship

Words 3368 it's Suburban AU.

2015 You finished up Uni staring in the school's production of Rock of Ages, Playing Sherry opposite Loki’s drew. Loki also moved to New York staying with his half brother Thor Oddinson. You stayed in touch with Loki and Pietro. The thing that took you by surprise however was six months after moving to Detroit, whilst working for Bruce Banner's start-up you received a DM on Instagram from Bucky. He heard from Sam and Jane that you were now living in Detroit and he was moving to the area after being scouted by the Detroit Lions. Hey Y/N, I hope you’re good. I know this is random and please feel free to tell me where to go, but I was wondering if you wanted to get a drink sometime? It would be great to see you again and catch up. Let me know. So you replied feeling like maybe after all this time it might be good to finally hear Bucky’s apology. Pietro and you had stayed in touch but you knew he was dating someone else. Her name was Sue Storm, she seemed like a nice girl, very smart and could easily give Pietro a run for his money. After hearing Bucky’s apology, you two started to become friends again, he invited you along to his games always offering to secure you two tickets if you wanted to bring someone. He was a machine on the football field, earning the strange nickname The Winter Soldier.

2016

Everything changed in the summer of 2016 though when Bucky’s mother passed away suddenly in June. She had practically helped raise you, so you attended the funeral with Bucky. You stayed with him in the guest room in his childhood house, helping him sort through belongings and paperwork. Bucky’s dad had died when you were 8 and Bucky like you was an only child. You took in food from neighbours wanting to pay their respects. You held his hand squeezing it in comfort during the funeral, assuring him you were there for him. Two days after the funeral you and Bucky had finished packing up the final boxes, you were upstairs, and he was downstairs being awfully quiet. You went looking for him only to find him sat on the living room floor. He was crying holding a picture of you and him one Halloween when you were 9, Bucky had gone as Superman and you as Supergirl. Your mums stood behind you, both of them chuckling whilst you and bucky tried to out pose one another. Your heart swelled. Your Grandad had died in November and god how your heart had ached, but to lose your mum, you couldn’t even begin to imagine. “Hey, hey. It's alright I’m here Buck”, you said cradling his head to your chest whilst he sobbed. You stayed like that for an unidentifiable amount of time before Bucky’s crying eased. He looked up at you blinking away the stray tears, the familiar blue in his eyes pulling you in. Your not sure who kissed who first but that was how you and Bucky ended up sleeping together.

You and Bucky officially got back together in July. Your Grandma passed away in September, the start of football season. Bucky was unable to attend the funeral, he tried god he tried. Pietro made it though. He and Sue had broken up not that he told you. By the time November rolled around things were good between you and Bucky. Wanda’s fashion label Scarlett Witch was taking off and she invited you and Bucky out to join the rest of the old gang at the official launch in December of 2016. You accepted and for the pair of you assuring Bucky, there would be no awkwardness. Pietro was casually dating and was bringing a date called Crystal.

You arrived at the party in NYC completely blown away. Wanda had asked you to wear a piece from the evening wear collection, a Black strapless dress, the top if form-fitting made from chiffon fabric, the skirt cut out the front made of black tulle sparkled with the touches of glitter. It felt like you were wearing the Milky Way. After stopping to pose for photos for the press you made your way inside. The party was being held inside a beautiful gothic building. “Y/n! You look absolutely amazing, thank you so much for wearing this and of course for coming” Wanda practically pounced on you the minute she spotted you. “Bunny! I agree absolutely amazing. Bucky, you don’t look too bad yourself” Pietro said kissing you on the cheek. Pietro was wearing a deep blue suit, it made his hair and ice-blue eyes pop. Bucky had opted for the simple black tux to match you and your dress. He almost looked good enough to eat. After grabbing a glass of champagne, Wanda and Pietro took you to the rest of the gang who had made it. Jane was here with a date, Thor Oddinson you recognised him from the few times he had been to see you and Loki in shows. Carol was here too. Peter Parker was working the event as a photographer he had brought a date a lovely young lady called Mary Jane Watson. After about 45 minutes of schmoozing and catching up, you went to the ladies room. When you exited you were a little taken aback by the sight that confronted you, a redhead was hanging of Bucky’s arm chuckling away with Thor and Jane. You could only see the back of her from where you were standing. You decided to walk over and introduce yourself. However, when you got closer to the group the woman started to look vaguely familiar.

“Hey babe,” Bucky said as you approached quickly removing his arm from the redhead. Babe. That was weird he never called you babe. His blue eyes looked like they were hiding something. “Lady Y/N. This is Lady Natasha” Thor said introducing you. The redhead turned to shake your hand smiling at you with a knowing look. “Lovely to finally meet the infamous Y/N,” she said. “I told Bucky how disappointed I was not to meet you when I was in the City in September. I’m so sorry to hear about the passing of your grandmother. Bucky kept me company whilst I was around on some Business” her voice sounded harmless, sweet and pleasant. Genuine. Her eyes and knowing smirk told a different story. Bucky looked at you, the familiar betrayal in his eyes, pleading with you. “I was just telling Bucky, I’ve been offered this amazing opportunity in Detroit so Ill be moving there in February, isn’t that wonderful?” she asked. You smiled taking a swig of your champagne. Jane looked at you, then Bucky. You shook your head.

That was the second time Bucky Barnes broke your heart. He assured you that they hadn’t slept together, however had admitted that he had kept her visit from you and that she had kissed him. “Did you kiss her back?” you asked pacing around your hotel room. “Doll, please what does it matter,” he asked reaching out for you. His calloused hands once again burning your skin with his betrayal. The fact he had chosen not to answer was all the confirmation you needed. You had left him in the hotel room. Loki had been unable to make the event due to being in a small play off-Broadway, but you had texted him asking if he wanted to get a drink. You had told him everything and he had walked you back to your hotel room. You were drunk and distressed. Bucky had opened the door his blue eyes flashing with jealousy when the handsome black-haired gentleman had his arms around you. “Easy James, if anything was going to have happened between us, it would have happened in freshman year of college,” Loki said helping you into your room. After you and Bucky returned to Detroit you guys took a break for a few months.

2017

Natasha’s job conveniently happened to be working as a fitness instructor at the Detroit Lions. After 4 months you and Bucky got back together in March of 2017. Things were going great, Natasha seemed to have released whatever hold she had on Bucky. Bucky was performing well with the Lions, his new teammate, Steve Rogers nicknamed Captain America seemed to have caught the eye of many ladies including Natasha. He however didn’t seem that interested in her and had his sights set on a girl from his home in Brooklyn her name was Peggy. Steve and you hit off due to your mutual disinterest in Miss Romanoff, he had come up with a nickname for her, he called her Black Widow because she seemed to devour the men in her life. Banners start-up tech company had taken off with thanks to your ad campaigns. You were also performing in the local summer show of Mamma Mia playing Sophie. In the summer of 17, Peggy Carter came to visit Steve, turned out she was from Britain originally. You liked Peggy and her no-nonsense approach. During July, the four of you went on lots of double dates like you were high schoolers again. For Steve’s birthday which happened to be the fourth of July, the four of you attended an event being put on by the Detroit lions. You had a great evening mixing with various teammates and their families. You even warmed to Natasha a bit that afternoon.

As the evening rolled around a giant cake was brought out to celebrate Steve’s birthday. Followed by a firework show. Everyone made their way to various blankets and cushions set out at the opposite end of the stadium. Somewhere along the way you and Bucky got separated. You didn’t worry too much, to begin with as you’d both drifted off to interact with various people throughout the event, however by the time the fireworks started Bucky was nowhere to be seen. You started to think the worst until you spotted Natasha’s red hair on the other side of the stadium flirting with a gaggle of players from various other teams who were invited. Confident Bucky would return shortly you turned your attention to the sky watching with a goofy grin, things were finally settled between you and Bucky. As the fireworks went on you decided to snap a few shots on your phone loving the way the sky lit up with bright colours. The Detroit Lions didn’t do things in small doses, so the firework display ended up going on for about an hour and a half. After about 45 minutes Bucky returned from wherever he had been slipping down behind you pulling your back flush to his chest. He stroked small circles on your arms. His rough calloused skin making you shiver from the contact.

In September you were approached by Tony Stark’s PA Pepper Potts, they had seen your campaigns for Bruce Banner and Tony was interested in headhunting you. Your contract with Bruce was up in October. You initially shot the idea down. Why would you want to leave Michigan? Your family home was a short 20-minute drive away, Bucky was doing well with the Lions. Peggy Carter was moving here after Steve had proposed at the end of Summer. It seemed ludicrous. After initially shooting down the offer. Pepper contacted you, doubling their initial offer. The offer was tempting, so you told Miss Potts you would think it over the weekend. There was no harm in bringing it up with Bucky, maybe a move would do you both good, Natasha seemed to have gotten under Bucky’s skin again. You left the office early that day. You didn’t bother to text Bucky figuring you could surprise him when he got home from training with a home-cooked meal. You stopped off to get some supplies to make Lasagne before heading over to his apartment figuring you could just let yourself in. You had called Wanda on the drive over through your cars Bluetooth. She and Vision were engaged, and she wanted you to be one of her bridesmaids. Partway through the call, Pietro had walked into Wanda’s office so you had told them both about the job offer. When you got to Bucky’s you immediately recognised the Black Widows black Mercedes. “huh, that’s weird, I wonder what she’s doing here,” you said out loud “who’s where?” asked Wanda. “oh um nothing, look I got to go I just got to Buck’s and I’m cooking dinner, going to talk to him about Tony’s offer,” you said before hanging up. You were so blind-sighted by Natasha’s car you didn’t clock Bucky’s Motorcycle parked in the corner of the small parking lot. You grabbed your bags walking up to Bucky’s figuring that you could invite Natasha in if need be whilst you waited for Buck to come home.

If you had noticed Bucky’s bike, then just maybe you would have been more prepared for the following events you unlocked Bucky’s apartment and you found clothes strewn everywhere, his jeans. A white Blouse. His boxer trunks. A Black lacy bra, that definitely didn’t belong to you. At first, you were so shocked by what you saw that you didn’t hear the moans coming from the bedroom. It was like you were possessed you carried your bag of groceries as you walked in a daze to the bedroom, you opened the door and found Bucky once again cheating on you. He and Natasha were in the throws of fucking each other, you found Natasha with her back to you, wrapped around Bucky’s waist. Bucky sat upright facing you however his eyes closed whilst he drank in the pleasure. You felt your heartbreak as you dropped your bag of groceries. The bag made a thud as it hit the ground, alerting Bucky to your presence. His eyes flew open connecting with yours. Natasha however didn’t stop riding your boyfriend’s cock. Bucky tried to push her off him, but you were already storming out the door. You grabbed your bag and left Bucky’s spare key in the door. Bucky grabbed a pair of joggers and slippers before chasing after you. Bucky’s apartment was on the second floor. All the apartments on the second floor opened outside to a walkway.

“Really James?!?” you turned round to face him before he could even say your name. “Was once not enough? Did you not hurt me enough the first time?” You asked. You could feel the anger threatening to burst in the way of tears. Bucky went to speak, his blue eyes once again filled with guilt. “How long?!” you asked quietly. Bucky moved towards you tugging on your wrist. “Come on Y/N, come back inside it’s starting to rain, we can discuss this inside,” he said, his eyes pleading with you. At that moment Natasha appeared in Bucky’s open doorway. She looked pleased with herself, wearing Buck’s shirt. The site made you want to vomit. “How. Long?!” you asked again through gritted teeth. Bucky faltered. “Since July. Since the 4th of July event,” he admitted rubbing his hand over his face. At that moment you felt completely and utterly broken. “I’m done, James. Do you hear me? I am done. We are through. You two.” You pointed to Natasha. “You two are welcome to one another”. That was the third time Bucky broke your heart.

You took the job working for Stark Industries. Your contract had ended with Bruce but your lease on your apartment was up until January so you stayed working for him until December of 2017 You said your goodbyes to Steve and Peggy in January and moved across the country to your new life in the big apple.

December 2018

The unknown number flashed up on your phone for the third time that day. You sighed before answering it. “Hello, Y/N Speaking how can I help?” you asked fiddling with your jumper. “Hey Doll, it's me. Don’t hang up.” Your breath caught in your throat. James Buchanan Barnes. You hadn’t spoken to him in over a year. He hadn’t even attempted to reach out to you after you split up mailing your things back to you, well all but a scarf. In January shortly before you’d moved to NYC you’d seen a magazine article saying the Winter Soldier was dating Natasha Romanoff. It confirmed what you already knew deep down, which was that you might be okay but you were not fine at all.

You’d worked so hard to forget about him long enough to forget why you needed to. He had better have a damn good reason for calling you. “You have 5 minutes,” You said getting up from the sofa you were sat on. “look, I know I fucked up with you. In more than one way on more than one occasion. I think it was the pressure to be the perfect couple, you know lifelong friends to more. And well I guess I just freaked out, and then I fell for her, but she didn’t want me, and when you gave us another shot, I thought I could convince myself to love you the way I did her, the way you had loved me. But truth be told, it was always Natasha after that summer. I know you deserve better, and I truly am sorry for hurting your doll. But I wanted you to hear it from me before you read about it in the news. She’s pregnant and also, we’re getting married.” Bucky said. You stood in the middle of the apartment stunned. “So, you call me up again, just to break me like a promise. So casually cruel in the name of being honest?” you whispered. Squeezing back the tears. “Well fuck you, James.” With that, you hung up. Of course, Bucky tried to ring right back, you declined the call, falling to your knees in pain. You had never asked for any of this, you had been quite happy being Bucky’s best girl as his friend. He was the one who kissed you at that prom.

You weren’t still in love with Bucky, you had moved on, forgetting about him and the pain he caused you. He hadn’t needed to call you, he could have given you a heads up through one of your mutual friends, but no. he had to go and stick the knife in. After lying there like a crumpled-up piece of paper and letting the tears fall. You picked yourself up. You washed your face and made yourself a mug of hot chocolate grabbing a Christmas cookie from the tin before making your way over to the bay window. You sat down taking in the view. The traffic had eased off a bit as things wound down for the evening. The snow had been falling pretty much all day. After about 15 minutes of sitting peacefully the key in the lock turned. You didn’t move you were incredibly content where you were, even if you could use a refill in the hot chocolate department.

“Hey handsome how was your day?” you asked not taking your eyes away from the street below. A group of kids were throwing snowballs at one another. You smiled to yourself enjoying their innocence. “It was good, busy” he replied taking off his coat and walking over to join you at the window seat. Wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close. “How about you Bunny? I saw a news alert. I’m guessing you know about the engagement?” he asked. You hummed a response. Before shuffling yourself around to face him. His floppy silver-blonde hair covering those beautiful ice blue eyes, they looked at you with such love and endearment, they also spoke a silent promise that he would never hurt you the way that Bucky had. You kissed him gently on the lips before standing up. “Come on Quicksilver let's shower before the Stark Christmas Gala,” you said pulling your boyfriend along behind you shooting him a knowing grin. His nickname may be Quicksilver for athletic reasons but there were some things he liked to take his time with.

A/N If you stuck with me through all this, I am truly sorry. I'm gonna go cry

Tagging the bestie @lannycleave

[georgiaswarr]

lister bird - part 1 (part 2)

this is me trying - taylor swift

“they told me all of my cages were mental / so i got wasted like all my potential” starting this playlist off with a song that i feel definitely will come to describe lister’s mental state, especially during iana - he’s fallen behind, he’s dependent on partying and drinking, but at least he’s trying to get better

still learning - halsey

this song incorporates a fuckton of lister’s struggles - the pressures of fame, trauma, dealing with past mistakes, of course self-loathing, and much more

timebomb - finish ticket

and another self-deprecating tune !!! this one in particular addresses the connection between drinking/alcoholism and feeling like a fuck-up

the key to life on earth - declan mckenna

i could probably go into great depths to explain how exactly this is a lister song but suffice it to say, lister grew up poor and we mustn’t forget that. “holy smokes / you kids and your jokes / asking where we got our jeans / and where the hell we found our coats” reminds me a lot of meeting lister, him getting into fights and being “held back for after-school meetings”, etc.

new age meds - the wldlfe

“self-deprecation; / a new age medication / and you might need some therapy if / you're gonna live your life suffocating / someone who you're supposed to be” here we have the theme of self-hate again, used in connection with drugs and addiction, too, which is very lister

are you satisfied? - marina

another song highjacked from @kindaorangey, they did a better job than i ever could explaining it here

knock me off my feet - soak

“saturday night on the highest wall / settin' 'em off, all 50 fireworks / kickin' the cannons, we watch them fall / it doesn't exist, the law” lister starts living the high, indulgent life once he gets rich, which is a stark contrast from how he grew up. in the end, though, he still has people he can call his home.

narcissist - no rome

“stayin' late, i just wanna get stoned / telling all your friends that I'm never at home / and my face filling up with blood / but you're still the same living like a bourgeois” highjacked from alice’s 5 playlist, another song about partying and the like but also being painfully aware of your own flaws

big black car - gregory alan isakov

a song about feeling inadequate and worthless compared to another person, which is how lister feels about himself compared to jimmy and rowan

eventually, darling - declan mckenna

abandonment issues, lost hope, impostor syndrome, disillusionment and an almost nihilistic view on a relationship - this song has it all. i personally associate it with bicci and lister reassuring both jimmy and himself that it’s okay if he doesn’t like him back - after all, “everyone leaves eventually, darling”

swimming pools - lxandra

lister grew up poor and we mustn’t forget that part 2 - this is another flashback to his childhood, while simultaneously showing the stark contrast to his current life - i like to interpret the line “still the kids who don't have swimming pools / in their 40-million-square-feet mansions, ooh” in a “yeah, he’s rich, but he still came from almost no money and this has had a profound effect on him” way

mind - declan mckenna

according to declan mckenna himself, this song “makes me think of my friend matty’s party i went to on halloween 2015 after playing a show […] the song lyrically and artiscally kind of reflects the confused mess of my 16 year old self”. this is something lister can probably relate to, feeling emotional turmoil and an incoming existential crisis while partying

joan of arc on the dance floor - aly & aj

“at the stake, we don't fight the flames / are you born in vain if you die a savior?” first of all, joan of FUCKING arc metaphors, second of all the death motif and lister’s “die young” mentality, third of all another dark party song which is how this applies to lister in particular

why do you feel so down - declan mckenna

listerowan song !!! “i think you're one of a kind so i'll never like myself / i think you're older and wiser so i won't let you tell / i think it over and over and hope you're thinking too / i think it over and over and hope i'm over you” because angst

know me - the band camino

and yet another angsty listerowan song, gosh i’m really making myself emo over here

18 forever - maris

a) such a bisexual anthem, b) a song about partying and feeling forever young

house party no. 1 - blossom caldarone

“you want to grow up too fast / it's a race to see who is left last / from lemons to liquor to loving each figure / you're constantly wired up the wrong way / you'll be dead in a year if i wait one more day”. this is how jimmy and rowan see lister, as a party-obsessed “rebel without a cause”

sedated - hozier

a song about addiction and self-destruction. i could probably go through every line of it but imma keep it short and just trust all of you to understand the sheer levels and poetry of sedated by hozier as a lister song

shadows - ruth b

another song from jimmy and rowan’s perspective - they see that lister indulges in a lot of self-destructive behaviour, smoking, drinking, having sex, etc. in the first part of iwbft, they notice all of that in an almost accusatory way, which to me feels like the tone of this song - “kiss yourself another stranger / ‘cause you know you love the danger, don't you? / give yourself to someone new every night, is what you do” for example is them thinking he sleeps with everyone with a pulse

burning incense - skott

i talk about lister and his relationship to religion in greater depth in part 2 with preacher man but i think that theme appears in this song too. generally this song is very much about emotional turmoil, feeling unloved and distant from your friends, and feeling worthless, so very much a lister song

those nights - bastille

theme of loneliness and finding comfort in strangers (which i know lister doesn’t really do anymore but still)

sunday morning - matoma

“i probably shouldn't say this / should keep it all inside / but maybe i'm just wasted / enough to speak my mind” bicci bathroom confession??? anyone????

love like ghosts - lord huron

another beautiful bicci song about unrequited love and feeling so incredibly strongly for someone that it feels beyond the realm of the living - that’s also where the theme of death in iwbft comes in, which lister grapples with in particular

high hopes - kodaline

this song makes me think of the confession scene too - lister realising jimmy maybe doesn’t like him back, losing hope and all that, and deciding he needs to move on

mirrorball - taylor swift

theme of personas - lister has the Lister Bird persona which is there to entertain people, to make himself appear fun, aloof, approachable, almost like a clown, even though that isn’t who he actually is deep inside

much like myself - emma jayne

and another song about appearing happy on the outside despite the fact that you don’t feel much like yourself

[seasonsofeverlark]

Haunted Tour of Savannah

Author: @norbertsmom​

Prompt: Prim drags Katniss in a Haunted Tour around Savannah GA… will this be a spooky story? silly? will Peeta be a ghost? another person in the tour? what happens in this tour??? Only you know! [submitted by @alliswell21​]

Rating: T; Trigger warning for mention of murder suicide.

Author’s Note: Love this prompt, @alliswell21​. I sort of got carried away researching Savannah, and the ghost tour industry there.

Hope you enjoy! Happy Halloween!

_____________

The sound of my bare feet hitting the cool hardwood floor echoes the pounding of my heart as I run down a dark hallway. Flashes of lightning illuminate the portraits on the wall that watch me as I pass. The booming thunder just seconds later shake the walls as if they would cave in on me.

I don’t know why, but I need to get to the door at the end of the hall, desperately, but it seems so far away. The faster I run, the farther away it gets.

When I’m finally in front of the door, I reach out to turn the knob, but just as grasp it, the door flies open. And all I can see is red.

I wake screaming, tangled in my bed sheets that stick to my sweaty skin. My heart still pounding as I try to catch my breath. I grab the bottle of water from my nights stand and take a drink. The dim red light of my alarm clock tells me it’s only just past 2 am.

I look over to my sister’s bed. Luckily, Prim is still fast asleep. Good. I’m glad I didn’t wake her. We need our rest for the trip to Savannah tomorrow, well, later today. We’re going to spend the weekend on a haunted tour of the city with some friends from college, her idea. Something fun to do before she goes off to medical school. I’ll miss her, but she’ll be to pursuing her dream. That thought helps calm me down enough to fall back to sleep.

“Katniss, wake up,” Prim says as she gently jostles me awake.

“What time is it?” I grumble, not ready to open my eyes and check.

“It’s 7 o’clock. I let you sleep an extra half hour while I got ready,” she says as she sits on the side of my bed and starts combing her fingers through my hair. “You had another nightmare, didn’t you?”

“Yeah,” I don’t even try to deny it. I’ve had them ever since our father died when I was eleven. “But this one was different. It wasn’t about dad.”

“No? What was it about then?” she asks while handing me my bottle of water.

I take a sip and shake my head. “I’m not even sure. I was running, it was raining outside. I had a terrible sense of dread.”

“Maybe you’re just nervous about the road trip,” Prim suggests with a shrug, “or the haunted cemetery. Ooooo.” Prim mimics a ghost and wiggles her fingers around then gets up off my bed. “Seriously though, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I guess I’m still just a little tired.” I don’t tell her that I may be a little nervous about seeing a certain someone that I haven’t seen since he transferred to another college. He’s one of our friends that will be joining us on the haunted tour.

“Well, you can sleep in the car if you need to, but right now, you need to get up and get a shower. I’ll make us some breakfast.”

“Okay, I’m getting up,” I tell her as I swing my legs out from under the covers.

The shower and breakfast did the trick, so I don’t need to nap in the car. The four-hour drive from our small mountain town just outside of Charlotte, North Carolina to Savannah, Georgia is going by quickly. Prim and I sing along to the radio.

We are having fun, but this road trip feels like an ending of sorts. We’ve spent our whole lives together. We even went to college together at UNC Charlotte even though she’s two years younger than me. I worked for two years to save up money instead of going into student loan debt. Prim didn’t have that problem with all the scholarships she got, so we ended up as freshmen together. Now, Prim will be going to UNC Chapel Hill for medical school. Sure, it’s only 2 hours away, but medical school is very demanding. She won’t be able to come home very often.

What am I doing? We are supposed to be having fun. I’m not going to let my melancholy about her leaving spoil our weekend she spent so much time planning. I shake those thoughts away and rejoin Prim in singing along to Taylor Swift’s latest hit.

When we arrive in the historic district of Savannah, Prim directs me to pull in front of the hotel. It’s brick façade and green shutters are very distinctive. It has a wrought iron verandah around the front that creates a balcony on the second floor.

As we are getting out of the car, a valet comes out and takes the keys, and gives me a ticket before driving off to some remote lot. We hike our backpacks on and walk toward the entrance.

The emblem on the door to the hotel seems very familiar to me. It’s a small bird in flight inside of a golden circle. Upon a closer look I see that it’s a Mockingjay. That makes sense since the name of the hotel is Mockingjay House Hotel. I must have seen the logo when Prim was doing all of the planning. Still, I can’t help but think I’ve seen it before. Maybe a long time ago.

Once we are in line to check in, Prim excitedly tells me all about the tour we’ll be going on later. “We’ll take a hearse to tour the city. Our first stop is at the Moon River Brewing Company, which is supposed to be the most haunted place in the city.”

“Okay?” A hearse, what are we getting into, I wonder?

“Then onto the Colonial Park cemetery, which is also haunted,” she adds.

“Of course,” I add with a chuckle, and Prim slaps my arm.

“Then back to this hotel. Which is…”

“Let me guess,” I interrupt, “Haunted?”

“Yep,” she answers smugly.

“So, you booked us into a haunted hotel?”

 “Of course, I did,” she answers excitedly. “Why stay in the most haunted city if you can’t stay in a haunted house, or hotel in this case.” She stops and grabs my arm. “There’s supposed to be a lot of ghosts here.”

“Okay,” I tell her with a laugh. “If seeing a ghost is your idea of fun, I guess I have to go with it.”

“You’re the best sister in the world,” she tells me.

“Hey guys,” someone calls out and we turn around to see Delly Cartwright and Rye Mellark coming toward us. Prim runs over to greet our friends from college. Peeta Mellark comes in behind them.

Delly, Peeta and I went to school together. Rye is a year older. They all went away to college right out of high school. Once Prim and I got to college we were all in the same friend group. There always seemed to be something about Peeta, even when we were kids, some kind of pull toward him, but nothing really happened. I thought there might have been something after that weird Halloween party we went to, but he transferred to a school here in Savannah the next semester and I didn’t really see him again after that. Prim’s the one who kept in touch with our friends.

Hey, Katniss,” Peeta says, rubbing the back of his neck and looking up at me through his long eyelashes.

Hey, Peeta, um, did you guys just get in?” I ask because I don’t really know what to say to him.

“Well, Delly and Rye just arrived. I actually live here. I stayed after graduating. My paintings are currently on exhibit at the SCAD museum of art.”

“Wow, that’s great, Peeta. You always were a fantastic artist,” I tell him because it’s true. His art is so vivid. It really seems to come alive on the canvas.

“So, what have you been up to?” he asks me.

“I just started at the park service back in Blue Ridge.”

“That’s great, Katniss. You always seemed to live in the woods. I’m sure you’ll be very happy getting to work there every day.”

“Thanks, so you’re going on the tours with us?” I ask him, which is a silly question, really. I mean, why else would he be here.

Prim and Delly and Rye join us before he can answer. “Hey Katniss, glad you could make it,” Delly says. “Peeta here leapt at the chance to join us when he heard you would be here.”

“Delly,” Peeta grumbles as his ears turn red and Rye slaps him on the back.

I don’t know what to say, but we are spared any more embarrassment when Prim and I are called up to the desk to finally check in.

“We’ll meet you guys down here in about an hour for lunch,” Prim tells them after we are done checking in. After the others agree, I wave a weak goodbye before quickly turning away toward the staircase.

Our room is on the second floor, facing the street, so we’ll have access to the balcony as I had hoped. On our walk up the stairs, Prim tells me she and Delly booked the rooms specifically for the balcony. Only the rooms adjacent to the balcony have access to it. When we get to our room, we take turns to freshen up.

While Prim is still getting ready, I check the directory for someplace to eat. As I read down the list provided by the hotel, I find the perfect place. There’s a diner about a two-minute walk from here that I just have to take Prim to.

Prim comes out of the bathroom, as I’m entering the address into my phone. “I just got a text. Rue is here too. Ready to go get some lunch?” she asks.

“Yep, I found the perfect place.”

“Great, let’s go,” she says, and we head out the door.

We meet the others in the lobby, and Prim tells them I chose a place for lunch. Even though Peeta has been living here, he lets me lead the way.

“Hey, if we are going toward the waterfront, we should pass through Johnson Square. You’ll love it,” Peeta says.

I show him the directions on my phone, and he drags the line on our route to detour through the square.

Peeta was right. The landscaping is magnificent. “It’s beautiful,” I tell him, and he gives me a shy smile. The Spanish moss draping down from the trees creates a sort of canopy that remind me of the willow trees back home.

Once we are though the square, our stop is just around the corner. I can’t help but laugh at the look on Prim’s face when we arrive at the Little Duck Diner.

“How did you find this place?” she asks, clearly amused that there’s a restaurant that shares her nickname from when she was little. Her shirt tail used to stick out in the back when she was smaller than me and wore my hand-me-downs. I used to tell her, “Tuck in your tail, Little Duck,” and she’d give me a quack in reply.

“The name just popped out at me when I was going down the list of restaurants. We have to get a couple of glasses to take home with us, Little Duck,” I tell her.

“Definitely,” she says as we walk through the door. When we get inside, Prim and Rue sit together and start taking selfies with the menu’s and placemats. Delly and Rye, of course, sit together. Which leaves Peeta and I to awkwardly sit together as well.

After a great lunch, and some glasses to go, Peeta suggests we stop at Leopold’s for ice cream for the walk back to the hotel. It’s actually past the hotel, he explains, but we have time. Peeta leads us around, showing us the cobblestone streets, and historic buildings. We even walk down to the waterfront to see the river boats. Peeta and I are still stuck together, but he’s good company, so I don’t mind.

As we are walking back toward the hotel, Delly points out a sign for a psychic. “Let’s go there, guys,” she says, excitedly. “We can get our palms read, or whatever, you know. It should be fun!”

All that excitement in one person is hard to fathom, but Prim looks at me with her puppy dog eyes and I cave. I can’t believe we are going to see Tigris the psychic.

Tigris is a tall woman with catlike features. It’s hard to tell how old she is with all of the obvious cosmetic surgery she has had, but she has a kind soothing voice as she tells us about using her spiritual intuition to help us gain insight into our past, future and present. Whatever, she’ll just tell us what she thinks we want to hear all for the low, low price of just $30.

Delly asks is she and Rye can go together for the same $30, and Tigris agrees. Good, I don’t want to have to pay that much for some story she makes up for me.

After Delly and Rye follow Tigris into another room, Prim asks me if I mind if she goes in with Rue. “Sure, Little Duck,” I tell her. I’ll just wait for you guys to be done. I don’t need to have my future read.”

“Aw, come on, Katniss. What’s the fun of going to a psychic if we don’t all go?”

“Fine,” I grumble. That’s $30 I wasn’t planning on wasting.

“Thanks, Katniss,” Prim says with a smile as she and Rue are called back. Delly and Rye must have went out another door because they didn’t come back to the lobby with Tigris.

“I can pay for the reading for you, if you want,” Peeta tells me once we are alone.

“I don’t need your charity,” I tell him sharply. “I just don’t want to waste $30.”

 “Sorry, just trying to help,” he says. “How about we go in together and split the cost then?”

“Sure, I suppose that will be okay,” I say sheepishly. “Sorry for snapping at you.”

“No problem at all,” Peeta says with a smirk. “I like your fire.”

I don’t have time to question what he means by that when Tigris comes back. We follow her down a dark corridor into another room. This room has dark wooden paneling with no windows, and one other door besides the one we came in.

After Peeta and I each give her $15, we sit down at a wooden table. “Give me your hand,” she tells us. I’m not really sure which one of us she’s talking to, but Peeta holds out his hand to her. She grabs it between both of her slender hands and closes her eyes. She rocks back and forth for a few seconds humming to herself.

Peeta and I exchange a look before she opens her eyes and drops Peeta’s hand as if it were on fire.

“Give me your hand,” she says to me and reaches for it before I can even offer it up. She holds my hand between hers just as she did for Peeta and closes her eyes again. She doesn’t hold my hand for long before dropping it and opening her eyes.

“You two are soulmates,” she tells, and I can’t help but laugh.

“Of course, we are. That’s what you tell all of the couples who come in here, isn’t it? Soulmates,” I scoff and stand up to leave.

“No, it’s true,” Tigris defends as she and Peeta also stand. “I saw into your pasts. Both of your lives have been entwined for ages, but you were torn apart in the past. Now you have been brought together to right the wrong that was done in a previous life.”

“Sure thing, Tigris,” I tell her. “Come on, soulmate,” I tell Peeta as I grab his hand to drag him out of there. I head for the other door which opens into another corridor. Peeta stops me before we go through the last door which is probably where the others are waiting.

“Katniss hold on. Take a breath a moment. You don’t want to go out there angry. Prim will get worried, and I know you don’t want that.”

“You’re right,” I tell him as I take a deep breath. “That kind of stuff just makes me so mad.”

“I know,” Peeta says as he pushes a loose piece of hair behind my ear. “I know you don’t want to be with me, and I’m okay with that.” I shake my head and try to interrupt him, but he continues. “I know how much you love your sister. You want her to have a good time on this trip, so let’s put on smiles and forget what they psychic said.”

I plaster on what I hope looks like a smile. “Peeta, wait,” I start, but he opens the door before I can say anything. What would I tell him anyway? I never said I didn’t want to be with him, but we hardly know each other. He left school to come here. Now he lives here, and I live back home. How would it even work between us?

“How did it go?” Prim asks as we join them. She’s all smiles so she must have been happy with her reading.

“Just great, um,” I stumble for something to tell her, and I give Peeta a look that he seems to understand.

He adds, “Katniss is going to be very happy working for the parks department back home, and ‘m going to become a famous artist. How about you guys? What did she tell you?”

We all filter back outside as the others take turns telling us how Tigris told them that they would be successful in their future. I’m surprised she didn’t tell Rye and Delly they were soulmates too, but I don’t mention it.

After all that walking, we finally get back to the hotel. We all agree we’ll see each other again when it’s time for the tour to begin. Prim and I drop off our glasses from the Little Duck Diner and freshen up again. “You and Peeta seem to be getting along pretty well,” Prim says with a smirk while she’s brushing out her hair.

“What?” I ask, rebraiding my own hair. “We were just talking,” I tell her, as I try to hide the smile that comes when I think of him.

When it’s time, we meet the others in the lobby. There are a few other people milling around that must be a part of our tour. At exactly 7 pm, a pale woman with pinkish hair dressed in a spring green suit announces to the room, “Everyone who has signed up for the 7 pm ghost tour, please make your way over to me.”

Our group all share a smile and start walking over to her. We are joined by a beautiful couple: the woman with flowing dark brown hair and sea green eyes, and the man, tall, and athletic with copper hair. The man stands behind the woman with his arms wrapped around her waist, whispering in her ear, as she giggles. No one seeing them could doubt their love.  

The woman with pink hair looks around at the group and smiles. “Wonderful. You are all on time. Punctuality is a must. We have quite the tour ahead of us,” she says. “My name is Effie Trinket, and I am your tour guide. Our group must stick together for the next few hours, so please, let us go around the group. Please introduce yourself and let us know where we are from and what brought you to Savannah.

“I’ll go first. As I said, my name is Effie Trinket. I am originally from the capital, Atlanta, but I came to Savannah for a visit and fell in love with it. Now I share it with others.”

She gestures toward Prim and says, “Now you dear, please tell us, what is your name?”

Prim looks around the group, gives a little wave and says, “I’m Primrose Everdeen. I’m here with my sister Katniss,” she gestures to me and I nod to Effie. We’re here from Blue Ridge, North Carolina, just outside of Charlotte.”

“And why are you and your sister here, dear?” Effie asks.

“Oh yeah, um, we just graduated from college.” There’s a smattering of ‘congratulations’ around the group, and Prim continues, “Thanks, um, I’m going to go off to medical school soon, so we decided to take road trip together to celebrate with our friends from college.”

“Very nice,” Effie tells us. “Congratulations to the both of you. Anything you would like to add, Katniss?”

“Nope,” I tell her, and the others chuckle.

“Very well,” Effie says brightly. She motions to the other’s in our group. Delly, Rye, Peeta, and Rue all introduce themselves, then Effie moves onto the couple who are joining us. “Who is this lovely couple?”

The man speaks up, still wrapped around the woman, “Hi, I’m Finnick Odair, and this lovely lady is my wife Annie Cresta Odair.” Their eyes meet and they share a smile. Finnick continues, never taking his eyes off of Annie. “We’re from Biloxi Mississippi. We’re on our honeymoon. We’re working our way up the east coast.”

“Lovely,” Effie says. “Congratulations and thank you for spending part of your honeymoon with us.” Effie continues, “Now that the introductions are over, let get onto the tour. You may not know this, but Savannah is the most haunted city in the country. Our first stop will be the Moon River Brewing Company. Everyone please follow me.” Effie walks out of the front door on her precariously tall high heels as we follow behind her.

When we get outside, I can’t help but laugh. Our limousine is a converted hearse, just as Prim said.

Effie sits up front with the driver, as we all pile into the back. “After you,” Peeta says as he lets me get in first. I sit down next to Prim and Peeta sits down on my other side.

It’s a short drive to the Moon River Brewing Company. As we get out and congregate on the sidewalk outside, Effie explains that this location was formerly a hotel, and it has been voted the most haunted spot in Savannah. After we get our drinks at the bar – Effie recommends the smoking mirror drink, which as the name implies, smokes – she leads us down to the cellar and tells us the hotel was used as a hospital during the yellow fever epidemic. Ghosts of people who have died here have been seen wandering down here where the kept the bodies.

Next, she takes us upstairs to a roped off area that looks to be under construction. “You may be wondering why this area is part of the tour if it is in the middle of being renovated. Would you be surprised if I told you this area has been in this same condition for the past twenty years?”

We all look around, puzzled, then Effie continues, “There’s a ghost here named Coriolanus Snow who was a gambler who was killed in an altercation in that room. He is quite malevolent. He has thrown people across the room,” Someone in the group gasps, “and every time anyone has attempted to do any renovations up here, the work is destroyed when they come back in the next day. So, they have given up and left it to Mr. Snow. You may look into the area, but please do not go past the rope. We don’t want to make Mr. Snow angry.”

“Hey old Coriolanus, why don’t you tell us your secrets,” Finnick calls out as they look into the construction area. Annie shakes and grabs onto Finnick’s arm. He whispers something into her ear that makes her calm instantly.

After they go past, Delly and Rye peek in and Delly pulls Rye away rather quickly.

Peeta leans down and whispers in my ear, “Delly is such a scaredy cat. I’m surprised she agreed to go on this tour.”

The feel of Peeta’s breath on my neck makes me shiver. Peeta must notice because he asks me if I’m cold. “No,” I tell him truthfully because I’m actually feeling a little warm. Prim and Rue are all whispers and giggles as they rush past the roped area, barely looking in.

“After you,” Peeta says, as we step up to have a look. I truly do feel a chill just looking into the darkened room. I realize that we are the last two and I just want us to get out of here, but Peeta pulls me away before I can say anything. Effie is standing at the top of the stairs and directs us back down to the bar as she follows behind us.

After we each get a new drink, we are ushered back to the hearse, for our next stop on the tour, the Colonial Park Cemetery, which is according to Effie, the most haunted cemetery in the city. I sense a theme here.

Effie leads us among the head stones and goes on to explain, that burials here began in 1750, making it the final resting place of many of Savannah’s earliest residents. The numerous ghosts sightings here are believed to be the tragic victims of the Yellow Fever Epidemic that are buried here. Many people claim to have seen shadowy figures and hear voices calling out to join them.

Effie stops in front of a pair of graves with the same symbol that adorns the front of the Mockingjay House Hotel, the mockingjay inside a golden circle. “The story of this couple is quite tragic,” Effie says. “Haymitch Abernathy was a famous artist who owned quite a bit of land in the city. It was such a scandal when he married Maysilee Donner, a famous, but rebellious singer. They were both very successful, but they had their issues as most married couples do.”

Effie points to the heads stones. “You’ll notice the dates of their deaths are the same. That’s because Maysilee was murdered in her bed, and Haymitch was found dead at the bottom of the stairs.” Peeta and I share a look as Effie continues, “They now both haunt their old home.”

I just have to ask, so I speak up, “Effie, why is the symbol on their headstones the same as the one on our hotel?”

“Very observant, Katniss,” Effie tells me. “The Mockingjay House Hotel was once the Abernathy’s residence. Before it became a hotel, it was their home.”

“So, we are staying where they both died?” Annie asks incredulously, and Finnick wraps his arms tighter around her waist.

“Correct. But don’t worry, the room where Maysilee was murdered is on the fourth floor. That’s area is only open for tours, no guests stay there. It’s where we’ll be going next,” Effie tells us. “Let’s get back to the limousine so we can be on our way,” she says brightly.

After we all pack into the limousine, I notice Prim is subdued.

“What’s the matter, Prim?” I thought you liked the idea of staying at a haunted hotel?”

“That was before I knew who the ghosts were. I was just expecting some random apparition in white, not actual people with names,” she whines.

“You knew Mr. Snow’s name back at the brewery,” I remind her.

“That was different,” Rue chimes in. “We were only there for a few minutes. We got right out of there.”

“Yeah,” Prim says, “We’re staying at a place where people actually died.”

I’m at a loss for words, not sure what to say, but Peeta comes to the rescue once again. “Well, from what Effie says, the ghosts stay on the fourth floor, right?” He asks.

“Right,” both Prim and Rue answer doubtfully.

“So, they can’t get you in your rooms, or anywhere else in the hotel except on the fourth floor. And we’ll all be together when we tour the fourth floor, so you have nothing to worry about,” Peeta says, and the two seem to brighten at his words.

“Thanks, Peeta,” I tell him and give his hand a squeeze.

When we arrive back at the hotel, we all get out and Effie starts to tell us about its history. “The Mockingjay House Hotel is the oldest hotel in the city, built in 1851 as the Marshall House Hotel when Savannah’s population was booming from the new railroad coming through.” She goes on to tell us how the hotel once housed soldiers during the civil war and was used as a hospital during the yellow fever epidemic in the mid 1800’s.

“The hotel fell into disrepair in the early 1900, and was closed for some time, but Haymitch Abernathy bought it and renovated to the glory you see standing here today.” Effie starts walking around the lobby and showing us the paintings on the wall. “All of this artwork are original Abernathy’s. Haymitch was a very prolific painter, very in demand in his time. He even created sculptures.”

Effie leads us out to the courtyard. In the center is a large sculpture of the bird symbol from the door. Spotlights illuminate it from above. The bird, the mockingjay’s wings are raised up as if it is in mid-flight, surrounded by a golden circle. “Haymitch created this sculpture for Maysilee as a wedding gift. The mockingjay is her family symbol. By renaming the hotel in her honor and adding this sculpture, he showed her that the hotel belonged to her just as much as it did to him.

“Oh,” Delly sobs. “That’s so romantic,” she says and buries her face in Rye’s chest. Peeta and I give each other a smile at her reaction.

“Let’s head up to the fourth floor, shall we?” Effie says. She leads us back inside back to the lobby where we take the elevator up.

As soon as the elevator doors open, I feel that familiar sense of dread I felt last night in my dream. Effie walks us over to the windows on our left and shows us that they are facing the courtyard below. When I look down, the light reflects off of the golden bird statue and the flash reminds me of the lightning from my dream. I start to hyperventilate, and stagger back away from the windows.

I bump into Peeta, and he grabs my arms to steady me. “Are you okay?” he asks, and I’m not sure. I feel as though I’m losing my mind. I turn around to face him, but all I can see are the portraits behind him. The whole wall is covered in them, just like in my dream.

This can’t be the hallway from my dream; It can’t be, but it looks the same, right down to the hardwood floors.

Effie is leading the others down the hall, so I try to follow, but Peeta pulls me back. “Katniss, are you okay? You look like you don’t feel well.”

“Gee, thank,” I say, trying to be sarcastic, but my efforts fall flat.

“What’s the matter?” he asks.

“I’m okay, let’s just get this over with, okay?”

“Alright,” he says, but I can hear the doubt in his voice. “Just hold onto my arm.”

“Thanks,” I tell him as we turn in the direction the others have gone.

“Come on,” Peeta says as he pulls me along so we can catch up to the others.

When we catch up to the group, Effie is chattering away about the history of the people in the portraits, but I don’t pay any attention to what she has to say as my blood runs cold when see the door at the end of the hall. It’s the door from my dream. I know it is, and I feel that sense of dread all over again.  

Effie walks toward the door, and all I can think is how I don’t want to see what’s behind it.

I rush forward to stop her, but she pushes the door open just as I reach it, and all I can see is red as I scream out, “Somebody help me,” as I crumble to the floor and the world goes black.

____________

That’s the end of part one. I hope you liked it.

The diner, cemetery, brewery and ice cream shop are real places in Savannah’s historic district. Even the hotel is a real place, but I renamed it Mockingjay House Hotel.

This story will continue on AO3. 

[baezdylan]

LITTLE WOMEN FANFICTION

CHAPTER 3: SEVEN

Escapism

"Please, picture me in the trees...

...before I learned civility."

- seven, Taylor Swift

***

one.

- Let's run away.

It's barely a whisper. It's said more to the open sky above them than to anybody else.

- Let's run away.

It's more than a whisper now. It's a call. An invitation for something greater than both of them. And Laurie would gladly buy a ticket for that particular train. He would. But the sun is so wonderful and the clouds are so enchanting in their unusual shapes that even getting up seems like a chore. He wants to stay here. On the grass. But Jo is persistent in her wishes. Jo March never, never, gives up.

- Won't you say something, Teddy? Can't you just see it? We could be anything, do anything, go anywhere! The world could be ours!

She, unlike him, is on her feet. She always seems to be. Gravity isn't very fond of Jo. Or at least that's what Jo will tell you. Laurie doesn't know if that's true or not, but he likes hearing her talk. He finds himself generally attached to sounds. The chipering of birds. The first note you play on the piano. Amy's chaotic laughter. Beth's soft chuckles. Meg's little mumbles. Jo's wild exclaims. That's one of the many reasons why Laurie loves the Marches. It's like these sisters have discovered an utterly fresh, vivid and extraordinary way to be alive. It's a pleasant contrast to what he's used to.

It's always quiet at home.

"What do you say Theodore Laurence, kindest and most noble of knights of this kingdom? Shall we follow the wind and see where it leads us?"

"I wouldn't want it any other way."

"Then you accept my proposal?"

"I sure do, Miss March."

People's faces usually look radically different when lightened up with smiles. They look prettier, more beautiful and somehow truer to themselves as opposed to non smiling faces. Jo's doesn't. She is smiling at him right now and her face doesn't look any different. It's just as true and warm as it was a thousand smiles before. And would Laurie even be allowed to call himself a comrade of Jo's if he didn't gift her with a smile of his own in return? He grins at her with no specific thought behind the expression. This is how people are supposed to be smiling, he thinks. Wide and real. Yes, people are supposed to be smiling just like this.

For a second, Jo and Laurie are the same person. Hair wild, shirts half unbuttoned, cheeks flushed. Laurie's hands are splattered with dirt from the ground whose hostility he was taking advantage of moments prior. Jo doesn't seem to care about that. Once he's up and standing, she grabs his arm a bit forcefully (which he doesn't mind), a bit theatrically (because this is Jo and life is a theatre piece) and they start running, both of them now embellished with dust. There's a lot of stumbling (and stumbling is blamed on the seemingly nonexistent objects that appear and disappear under commands of fairy like creatures) and there's a lot of laughter (laughter that comes in its most natural form and doesn't show any interest in being contained under anyone's wishes, especially not the ones of the world).

"Oh dearest, the world might not be for us, but us we are for the world."

***

two.

Freedom is both the most basic and the most complicated aspect of life to be gained. It is so simple of a concept, one could easily and rightfully so believe how all of thought guardians (more commonly referred to as humans) should have the right to not only experience, but spend their entire lives swimming in shinning lakes of freedom. But it's not how it all works. Some have tiny bits of freedom. Some don't have it at all. Some have loads. Some have just enough. Too much, sadly or sadly not, have none. 

Jo sometimes wishes she were a tree. High up in the sky, stretching out her branches towards infinity. She isn't a tree though.

Imagination is of grave help despite what anyone says. To a normal person, the tree is just a tree. Tree and nothing else. To Jo March, a tree is so much more. It's an opportunity. An adventure. It's a solace and a home. A sanctuary. She's climbing up one of her leaf providing friends as she's trying to figure out how to describe this moment the best. Her reflections are interrupted by a voice which surprisingly doesn't come from the bellow, but from the above instead. Once Jo spots the speaker's ground conquerors (or "shoes" if you are of dull old sameness and don't find the pleasure in crafting phrases unlike our Jo), she immediately recognizes their owner. She still isn't sure why Teddy let Amy paint his shoes with images of flowers, but she is mesmerized with the final result. And although she shall never share this with the oh, so great artist, Jo thinks Amy's creations to be exquisite.

"I presume you are coming here to put your mind at ease."

"That is correct, my boy, and I suppose you are here for the same cause. "

By the time they exchange these lines, Jo has already climbed up to the place where Laurie is. She finds herself a steady enough branch and rests her head against the surface of the wood. Her friend is positioned in a similar way, his leg gently swaying to a peculiar beat of his own making.

Two figures, who almost seem to be one with the wooden fellow, occasionally take an exceptionally deep breath. Their hands colored with bruises, souvenirs from many extraordinary expeditions, their clothes decorated with leaves. Seemingly they are flowers, nature is their most beloved companion.

It's quite a story how Jo and Teddy, these flower resembling humans, coexist without many syllables shared. The phrases they do sometimes grace each other with can end up being translated as meaningless or lacking in thought. But Teddy and Jo, among everything else, are inventors. They invented a language which only functions for them. What is mean to others represents to them a code. What is strange to some, playful and witty to them it is. What is impossible to comprehend, they understand with little to no effort.

"Language of flowers is the language of flowers for a reason. Nobody, but flowers, thinks it much sense."

***

three.

"I'M ALIVE! LOOK AT ME, EARTH!!! I! AM! BREATHING!"

This is just one of the many declarations that have furiously been shouted at the void today. Young people often have trouble befriending compromises, especially if those compromises are to be made with the creatures you live in close proximity with. Jo has again been fighting with her sisters for reasons she cannot exactly recall right this instant. It's funny, because this always happens to her. Something sparks her temper, she recklessly gives into it and at the end, it's all about the anger she doesn't know how to release. She usually goes on long walks or takes deep breaths. She basically tries to isolate herself from everyone until the storm passes.

Teddy has a different solution for her troubles, troubles that naturally turn out to be his troubles too because they are Jo and Teddy, Teddy and Jo, and they have the same troubles (which is both wonderfully relieving and awfully annoying at the same time). Jo wouldn't even call Teddy's solution a solution. They are both making these announcements of nonhuman frequency and dancing their heads off, and as ridiculous as it is, Jo feels it liberating. They aren't improving anything (just the opposite, screaming random things into the air represents the peak of impulsive behaviour) and the conclusion is: no profitable discoveries in the "containing yourself" department. But who cares? Sometimes you have to let it all out. Dance and shout the worries away. It wasn't a coincidence that Jo met Teddy under the circumstances that she did. They were both of hot tempers, strong wills and free spirits. And they needed to dance it all out out. Despite the absurdity and inappropriate mannerism a foreign eye would most certainly find in their actions.

"There exists no right nor wrong way to express one's self."

***

four.

Laurie is surprised with how much he is enjoying this. It's all very simple. Yet, he feels at peace. He feels like everything inside him has a chance to rest.

It's the fireplace and captivating movement of the fire flames.

It's the soft "click" he discovers every time Meg takes a step. Her shoes are marvellous singers.

It's the chattering of dishes he recognizes somewhere in the background. It must be Beth, cleaning the table after the meal.

It's Amy giggling mischievously after coming up with what Laurie supposes to be some kind of scheme or more accurately, a master plan. He wouldn't know what is it about, but whatever it is, Amy is destined to succeed in it.

It's Jo. This is all because of Jo. He wouldn't have come across the hidden delights of the "uncomplicated" and "boring" if it weren't for her. She takes a seat beside him interrupting the spectacular date he had with the fireplace, rests her head on his shoulder and sighs. It's like this with them. Touching has never been a big deal.

"Beautiful."

That's all Jo says. "Beautiful." He doesn't question it. He understands what she means even though he cannot explain it. He understands.

"Warmth. Choreographed chaos. Lines overlapping. Minds intertwining. Familiarity greeting you "hello". People. Family. Home."

***

five.

She cut her hair. She cut her hair and everything is supposed to be at least a little better if not completely fine. But she can feel the tears forming in her eyes as she's approaching the house. The money in her pocket is so incredibly present. No, the money is not just present in her pocket. Everything those dusty pieces of paper represent carries weight. A weight so grand Jo could swear there is somebody following her, kind of like the money has taken the shape of a person and is now accompanying her, monitoring her every move. What kind of world sees a green, ugly paper and claims of it a metaphor for greatest treasures? And the tears? The tears she cannot comprehend. Why would she care? It's just hair. If anything, she should be bursting with joy right now. She got rid of the womanly burden. But it doesn't feel right. It's all extremely selfish of her. Selfish and thoughtless.

Her sister is... not well. Her father is out there doing all sorts of heroic things and instead of crying over her sins, she's crying over this. For once she does something right, for once the part of her that's wrong different isn't screaming. And then it hits her. It's not just a part of her that's different wrong. It's her. The moment she realises this she steps into the house. Everyone is either too distant or too close to notice all that is hiding underneath her seemingly admirable actions.

Her body is barely handling the atmosphere. It's barely cultivating the facade. But her body is also covered with Teddy's waistcoat and just as she remembers this little fact she sees her best friend right there in front of her. He is not too distant nor too close. He is right where she is.

They have the same hair.

Jo is pulled towards him because this is Teddy and hugging Teddy is like hugging herself. They stay like that for a few moments, their realities greeting each other like two fellow soldiers, finally reunited in battle.

It doesn't make her feel any less hollow. It doesn't change anything. It doesn't alter the wrongs. But it does make it a little better. It offers an assurance. An assurance embodying validity so present, money can do nothing but hold a candle to. An assurance of rational absurdity. Because that's what Jo and Teddy are.

They are rationally absurd.

"It's a childish belief that all twins look the same. There exist many ways to be somebody's twin."

***

six.

She is holding his hand.

He has just told her how he doesn't fit within himself. He has just told her that and she is still here, laying on the floor with him, covered with blankets. She said it made sense. She must have been too tired or something. She must have misheard. She must have.

"Jo, are you there?"

She does not respond. She only squeezes his hand. It's not about the gesture itself. It's about everything the gesture holds.

Promises. Lifetimes. Daylights. Midnights. Setting suns. Growing spirits. Flowery Youths.

She is holding his hand.

" Mutuality sure is a wonderful creation. What is more wonderful though is mutual understanding. Mutuality means the returning of the same. Mutual understanding means accepting and loving of the different."

***

seven.

"I could run away for real this time. Explore the unknown, unravel the mystical. Encounter the miracles. Touch the heavens..."

Her words are empty. They don't mean much. They are empty and desperate. Empty, desperate and meaningless.

Her sister got married. Meg got married and she is talking to herself about running away. The wind is dancing with her again long enough hair, tangling its fingers into her rough curls, reminding her of the countless times it has done the exact same thing before. Mocking her with its endless supplies of stability and comfort. Jo is leaning over the wooden fence, despite the wishes of her dress which keeps complaining about her unlady like methods. Jo honestly does not care about the fancy bridesmaid dress and its wants. If one has the will to climb fences, one shall enjoy the act of doing so, no matter what some piece of fabric might have to say. She is trying to hold back rivers her eyes miserably wish to let flow. She cannot cry. She must not. She has an ongoing bet with Teddy about this. He was daring enough to assume she will turn herself into a paddle today and she ought to prove him wrong.

"What might a lady like yourself be doing here instead of enjoying the jolly ceremony out there in the open?"

"I am no lady Teddy, my being is in no need of such chains."

Laurie doesn't pressure her into answering the question (she would have answered it in the first place if she had the intention to) and steps on the fence beside her. He starts humming a random melody, rhythmically moving his fingers to the sound.  He must be composing something again, thinks Jo and silently envies his creative range. It's been too long since she's written anything worth sharing.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Everything."

"Isn't that a bit too much of things?"

"Oh, it's just a little over the top Teddy, but I believe I can handle it. This mind is no stranger to overcrowding."

The same tree they used to climb when they were younger is now observing them, representing an eternal and haunting reminder of everything that once was. Jo is frightened. That silent way in which Teddy is looking at her is frightening. He is looking at her in ways she longs for to be different and his eyes have too many freshly discovered stories to tell. She is frightened she won't find those stories to be very pleasant.

"Do you remember that day when I told you how I wanted to run away?"

"How could I not?"

"I need to run away again."

Laurie doesn't need to hear it twice. He jumps over the fence and starts running, his arms widely spread, his tie and jacket long forgotten. It isn't real. Jo knows they will never go anywhere. The sun is setting and the lines of separation are clearing up. The sun is setting and challenges, struggles and complications lie ahead. She knows all of this. Yet, she hikes up her skirts like she's sixteen again and follows the path her boy has chosen for as long as she knows how to. Jo and Teddy run through the endless fields of gold, specks of sunlight meeting their bones. Teddy and Jo, Jo and Teddy, high in the sky for one last time before nightfall.

They keep falling over each other and eventually end up wrestling on the grass, occasional screams and consistent laughter adorning the air around them.

The last song of Meg's shoes. The last symbol Amy will ever paint on Jo's hands. The last wide smile of Beth's. The last understood conversation of birds. The last fellow of the trees. The last arrangement of flowers.

The last.

The last.

The last.

"Oh, to live in a world where there are childhoods, fields of gold and raging hearts."

"Grab a coat, leave a note and run away with me."

- William Chapman