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s0s1mple · 1 day ago

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since heeseung and sunoo have no requests, how about hee or sunoo and reader in a royal setting, except he is arranged to marry reader's bestfriend but he slowly falls for the reader after seeing her almost everywhere with his fiance because she is the one who chaperones all their dates and is really close and clingy with the princess he is set to marry. you could do it with the member you think it fits the most!

I just got a req for Sunoo, so I'll do it for Heeseung! Tbf I got the feeling this would fit him better anyhow, so thank you for the req! Here you are! (Also apologies if you didn’t want a Yandere piece! If you didn’t want this, just let me know and I’ll rewrite accordingly!)

Surface Level - Lee Heeseung

TW: General yandere behavior, blackmail, political threats, political dealings, occupation of a kingdom, kidnapping, power imbalance, slight gore.

Masterlist

Heeseung didn't care one way or the other when he was told he was to be wed. He'd been raised with such an expectation, so it was hardly surprising. He was a prince, and his bloodline had to continue. Luckily, he wasn't exactly expected to have kids just yet, but his people needed a wedding. They needed a promise that their rulers reign was secure. Personally, Heeseung didn’t care too much about the matter for that reason.

So Heeseung went to meet his fiancé. It was a whole affair, their first meeting. A tea beneath the gazebo out on his castle grounds, butlers at the ready, the most expensive food money could buy... Supposedly this fiancé of his was the princess of a neighboring island, normally a small fish of a kingdom far beneath the likes of his family, but Heeseung was well aware that his father wanted some form of control over the market and ports there. So, as most marriages were, this was a political move.

Heeseung had an appreciation for such political moves of course, but if his fiancé was unattractive or rude, he was going to be pissed. If he was going to be tied to someone against his will, they’d better at least look good next to him. Not that Heeseung was particularly surface-level as a person, of course, but his family had an image to maintain. Strong, beautiful, deserving of their titles. If they didn’t fulfill that image to the people, they might doubt their leaders’ connections to the gods. That was the story their kingdom’s royalty had been built off of, after all.

Heeseung sighed, walking up to the gazebo. The butlers and guards stood at the ready around the staircases, bowing respectfully, and Heeseung paid them a greeting grin before walking up. There, at the table set up with great pastries and the finest teas they had, was a woman. For a moment, Heeseung was taken aback.

She was gorgeous. Flowing brown hair, big wide doe-eyes that sparkled in the light, clear skin and sitting so prettily. He felt himself relax as he walked forth to bow respectfully. “Princess Rin? It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He smiled his usual welcoming smile, kissing her hand as she held it out. “I hope you’ve been finding your time in our kingdom to your liking?”

“Oh yes! It’s wonderful!” And her voice too was like that of a doll’s, tinkling and sweet. For a moment, Heeseung thanked the gods for such good political fortune. He took a seat then, offering to serve her some pastries, and their small-talk began.

Truth be told, Heeseung was never a big fan of small talk. It was pointless, in his opinion. Anxiety-inducing, even. How the hell were you supposed to know someone from it? But he sat there and did it anyways, and almost breathed a sigh of further relief when he finally had indication to be more personal. “So, have you seen the markets yet? They’re one of our pride and joys.”

Heeseung loved the markets. They were his stomping ground for his childhood, the place where he ducked and ran amongst colorful produce to throw off his guards and get some alone time. As an adult, it was his place to get to know his people, to appeal to them with his bright smiles and soft gaze.

“The markets? The ones near the grand church?” A new voice piped up then, causing Heeseung’s head to turn in surprise. Someone new had joined them, and given the lack of hustle from the guards were meant to be there. You stood there, slightly shy as you bowed your head to him, but grinned excitedly all the same. “Apologies for interrupting, I just wanted to announce my arrival. But also, the markets are so wonderful! I went by yesterday and… uh… never mind.” Your smile faded as you realized you were rambling and you bowed again.

“Ah, this is my chaperone. And my close friend, of course.” Princess Rin chimed in to explain the situation, and you nodded vigorously before sitting down at her side. Ah, the chaperone. He’d almost forgotten such a thing. Apparently, in the culture of the princess’s kingdom, it was improper to court without a chaperone present, especially for royals. Heeseung nodded, offering a smile to you. He almost asked what your favorite part was, wanting to be polite before returning to his fiancé, but Princess Rin already was speaking again. She wrinkled her nose. “And the markets? You mean the one the peasants attend? Really, you shouldn’t have run off there. What if you got some disease or something?”

Heeseung paused, barely keeping the bewilderment off his face. Here Rin was, so beautiful and elegant, and yet her face had just twisted into a disgusted sneer at the mere idea of brushing elbows with his people. There was a small awkward silence where you blushed, quietly acknowledging the comment before placing your hands in your lap. His eyes darted to you then, at the way your enthusiasm wilted before the princess.

Heeseung did not like that.

And, he soon found out, there were plenty more things he didn’t like about this Princess Rin. He didn’t like her screechy laugh, didn’t like the way she tried hard to be cute and to fall into his arms like it was some romance novel. He didn’t like the way she dismissed his guards and maids, didn’t like the way she threw things willy-nilly and didn’t clean up after herself, and certainly didn’t like the disgust that painted her features whenever he brought up memories from childhood or interactions with his people.

So beautiful on the outside, and so hideous on the inside.

And strangely, despite you being referred to as her best friend or closest confidant or any of those other words, you were completely the opposite. It wasn’t that you were ugly, in fact that was hardly the case. But you were normal looking. That sort of village square look, like the dancers he’d seen on his trips to festivals. Like those same dancers, you were full of life. Lively, smiley, happy to enjoy every aspect of life no matter how it was perceived and even happier to make others happy.

It was you who asked questions about his kingdom, you who tried all of the local delicacies without wrinkling your nose, you who tried to learn some of the old tongue, and you who bowed just as deeply to his favorite butler as you did to him.

Slowly, day after day, Heeseung was really beginning to want to send Rin back to her island and just keep you at his side instead. Anything to send that annoying witch away. Anything to keep your giggles and smiles right beside him, not dampened by your princess’s- supposedly your friend’s- cutting glares when you got too happy or too talkative.

A strange sort of protectiveness formed then, more than likely thanks to Rin’s behavior yet again. God, he hated how much you bent to her will. Sure, you were lower in ranking, but for her to act so friendly one second and then cackle a tad too cruelly when you were embarrassed or sad?

Disgusting.

You were so much more comfortable with him when the two of you were alone, which was rare. But he’d been trying to set up more opportunities for such interactions. Telling you to meet him one place, telling Rin another, and then pretending it was just an accident as the two of you walked to find her. He’d make small talk then, asking about your home, your family, your dreams. You’d light up like a star. Heeseung couldn’t keep the smile off his face, couldn’t stop the blooming in his chest.

How he wanted to wake up next to your warmth every morning instead.

He knew rationally he couldn’t do such a thing. You were too low in standing, after all. But subconsciously, he’d already begun to court you instead. Helping you down the stairs whenever he could, guiding you with a hand to the lower back, gentle and ginger… Hell, he’d even begun to find himself picking out gifts. Not with Rin in mind, no, but you.

Just like your personalities, you and Rin’s tastes were opposites as well. When it came to gifts, Heeseung took advantage of that fact. He’d deliver a gift to Rin, watch her smile that fake smile and accept it, before seeing the bracelet or ring on you the next day. Passed off like garbage, when you were the intended recipient all along anyways. You were infinitely more grateful anyways, always pulling the bracelets from under your sleeves discreetly to fiddle and admire them.

At a certain point, when the feelings grew heavy and explosive in his chest, he couldn’t hide it anymore. He blatantly stared at you as Rin babbled, walked by your side, tried to gently steer you away from Rin and spend time with you instead… Rin wasn’t stupid, and she was very obviously upset by such matters, but Heeseung couldn’t bring himself to care. Not even when she complained to her father, and her father to his father in turn. He was warned, of course, but Heeseung paid it no mind.

No, when you were around Heeseung was little more than a loyal follower. He’d never seen himself as yearning or a romantic, and yet here he was mentally playing through what your royal wedding would be like. Here he was wondering how soft and warm and inviting you would look beneath the candles, beneath him, all snuggly pressed into the comforters. How sweet that perfume he’d bought you would smell as he nuzzled your neck…

But reality came crashing down, and as per usual it was due to that witch Princess Rin. She’d finally had enough one early evening. Heeseung had cracked a joke he knew would make you laugh. First Princess Rin laughed, awkward and stilted because their humor was nothing alike, before you burst into a cacophony of giggles. Heeseung had leaned in then, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and brushing away a fly-away. As per usual with such gestures, you smiled shyly and your eyes darted nervously to your Princess. But this time, she erupted.

“Oh would you stop putting your fucking arms around her? God, is this some way to try to get me jealous or something? You already have me, no need to go entertaining the help.” She sneered, glare just as annoyed and disgusted as ever. Heeseung paused, brows shooting Jo in surprise, and he felt you tense up beneath his arm.

“I- please remove your arm, your highness?” You squeaked. Heeseung rolled his eyes and held fast.

“Trying to make you jealous? I couldn’t give less of a shit about you. For all I care, you can go right back to your kingdom since you seem to hate mine so much.” He said back, smile kept carefully in place amongst his too-cheerful tone. “You are possibly one of the most annoying humans I’ve ever met.”

Incredulousness. Hurt. Then rage. It was not him she wheeled on then, but you. And that wouldn’t do at all. “Have you been seducing my fiance? You whore! After all I’ve given you too! You were nothing without me and now you think you’re going to steal a prince, do you? God, what was I thinking entertaining someone like you, you waste of-“

Smack.

Heeseung had stood up suddenly, hand whipping through the air. Princess Rin stumbled back, shocked as she cradled her cheek. Heeseung just shook his hand, blowing on his knuckles, and adjusted his sleeves. “It’s just talk, talk, and talk with you. But you never say anything useful.” He mumbled, cutting his eyes at her. It was his turn to look disgusted, to throw the same look right back at her.

“You just- you just hit a princess, you moron!”

“You just called a prince a moron, moron. Do me a favor and head home, would you? I’m sure you’ll have a much better time with the boot-lickers back home.” Out of the corner of his eye he could see you frozen, eyes darting between the two of them in startled, scared glances. He wanted to comfort you, he did, but he had something to attend to first.

“My father will-!”

“Will what? Hm? Will wage war on us? Will withhold shipments?” Heeseung stepped closer, amused smirk sliding over his face. “Will close their ports? What then? Hm?”

There was a long pause before Heeseung whispered the answer.

“Do that, and we will wipe you off the planet.”

Something in his eyes must have been wrong, too intense, too serious in that moment, because Rin paled. For once she looked unnerved. Scared, even. “You have a poor choice in partners.” She finally settled on sniffing, trying foolishly to keep her stance.

“Say something else about her. Give me a reason to do much worse than hit you.”

Rin was gone the next day. The wedding was called off and Heeseung received an earful.

And then, just like that, war was started. And just like that, war was ended. Victory, obviously. Deliciously so, as Heeseung eyed the ring finger he’d received in a delicate silver box from his general. He sighed, turning it this way and that. The ring on the dainty digit was easily recognizable. The royal family sigil of the isles he'd just annihilated.

The same mark that had scarred over under your jaw from one too many slaps.

Heeseung hummed, shifting around in his chair, and removed the ring. No blood staining the metal, luckily enough. He handed the finger off to a butler with a nod of thanks, then returned to what he was doing.

Heeseung wrapped his arms back around your waist, chin right back on your shoulder as he hummed and rocked the both of you. He bathed in your warmth, gently grasping your hand that fit so perfectly in his. “I think it suits you better, personally. The color brings out your eyes.” He hummed, sliding the ring on. You shuddered a bit, but being the polite thing you were you didn’t refuse his gift. Just shook in his arms like a leaf, tears silently steaming down your face.

Your home was gone. More importantly, that bitch was gone. Heeseung’s kingdom would build it anew.

Heeseung just smiled at you, eyes soft and smile widening, and kissed your tears away. You were just so adorable. “Shh, hey, it’s alright…” he cooed. “You’ll get plenty of time to build it up again how it should be when you’re my queen.”

#reqs open #enha #enhypen #enha x reader #enhypen x reader #yandere #x reader #yandere enha #yandere enhypen x reader #oneshot #yandere lee heeseung #lee heeseung #lee heesung x reader #enha heeseung #yandere heeseung #heeseung

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reallyromealone · 9 hours ago

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Title: found

Chapter: 1

Fandom: naruto

Genre: omegaverse

Warnings: angst, single parent reader, omegaverse, romance, readers awkward, Omega reader

Notes: I decided to continue this

Summary: timeskio to season one of Naruto, reader sees old faces of the past and gives love a shot

🌜🌛🌜🌛🌜🌛🌜🌛🌜🌛🌜🌛🌜🌛🌜🌛🌜🌛

(name) gently brushed his sons hair, Naruto was now a ninja! He was so proud! "I'm gonna make you proud, got it mama!" (Name) Smiled at the nickname and helped the young alpha out his headband on, kissing his head and ignoring the groans of him being a ninja now and he didn't need the doting "I raised you since you were a baby, let me kiss your head a few more times!" The Omega wasn't ready for his pup to grow up but he was proud of the young man he had become.

But he wasn't pleased about this sensei of Narutos making the boy not eat "are you sure?" "Yeah kakashi-sensei said not to!"

Kakashi?

His sensei was kakashi?

(Name) Put his own feelings aside and sighed with a weak smile "you do your best, ok?" (Name) Said to the boy who grinned "I got you, don't you even worry mama! Believe it!"

He was always going to worry, watching the boy leave before getting ready for his day, it was a rare day off for him and he needed to get some errands done. Slipping his sandals on, (name) made his way out and into the world, grocery list in hand and already planning the things he had to get done.

(Name) Hummed to himself while he walked, it was a nice day out... Maybe he could get some supplies and make Naruto some ramen for dinner... The boy might turn into ramen if he keeps eating the amount with his allowance. Maybe he should make something healthier.

Yeah...

That would be best.

(Name) Always got his shopping done fast, early in the morning before any others came by and gossiped about him. He ignored the words of the others in town, vicious words about him and his pup.

But he held it together for his son.

He couldn't show his son that things so stupid as gossip bothered him!

"Oof!" (Name) Bumped into a chest and looked up to see Iruka "(name)?" The alpha seemed pleasantly surprised and (name) smiled a bit "hello again, Iruka" (name) spoke softly and looked at the alpha with a confident stare, eyeing him up and down for anything amiss "Naruto isn't giving you any trouble is he?"

"Nothing past his usual self" the Alpha said with a lopsided grin, looking at the beautiful Omega and trying to hold his confidence around (name) who was just... Wow.

"So how are things?" Iruka asked and took the groceries from (name), a habit he picked up and (name) let him seeing as it was clearly some alpha thing "busy as usual but I have finally gotten some extra time to find a new hobby" he said with a soft smile "oh and what's that?"

"Origami!" (Name) Pulled out a little origami butterfly and handed it to him "these are easier to make but I'm still proud of myself!" The alpha moved the groceries to one hand and inspected the little folded paper "this is great!" (Name) Beamed at the praise "thank you! Its something small to keep my hands occupied while I do paperwork or when it's night shift!"

The two continued walking and chatting, the Omega relaxing considerably around the other "I'm again so sorry for Naruto! He got you hurt!"

"Ah, it wasn't his fault, he was a kid who got manipulated!" Iruka said calmly and (name) didn't seem fully convinced but dropped the subject. The two continued walking and making small talk, the sun just getting out of sunrise and soon everyone would begin their days.

"Ah, speak of the devil" Iruka said and grinned at the sensei they were talking about, kakashi stepping out of a convenience store with two lunches in a bag. (Name) Hadn't seen kakashi since their teen years, their paths never crossing and Kakashi going black ops and such... Every emotion hit him like a battering ram.

"Ah, Iruka... (Name)" The alpha eyed the Omega who looked at him with an unreadable expression.

"Iruka, I gotta go-- I have meltables in one of the bags" wasn't a lie but he wasn't ready to feel these emotions today and besides it was eleven years ago.

He moved on from any feelings he had as a child.

"Ah, I gotta go prepare my class, kakashi could you make sure (name) gets home safe?" The alpha asked and without waiting for an answer ran off, leaving the two "shouldn't you be training my son?" (Name) Asked pointedly and Kakashi tilted his head before realizing "ah, I forgot you raised Naruto" his words simple and (name) huffed " clearly" his words sharp and he looked ahead and continued his walk home. Kakashi glanced at the clearly upset Omega and tried to figure out what could have caused them to be so upset.

It's not like they spoke in eleven years.

Oh wait.

Shit.

"You raised Naruto to be a good kid, a bit of a loud mouth but he has potential" kakashi commented and (name) shrugged "I raised him the best I could, I'm glad I didn't fuck him up too much"

"You're too good to mess anyone up"

"Not like I had anyone to tell me if I was doing good or messing him up, I'm just glad he's strong and happy" (name)s words were like vomit, unable to keep it in and he looked at the alpha "why did you just ditch me? I thought we were friends!" He suddenly snapped, eyes cold and all the pain came back and Kakashis eyes softened and he let the Omega get it out of his system before cupping the others cheek "I'm sorry I made you feel like I abandoned you" he said softly and (name) smacked his hand away "none of that bull, you know what? L-lets pretend we didn't see each other... I was fine without you, I don't need you again"

And with that, (name) was gone.

After the kids passed, kakashi did some digging on (name).

'his parents abandoned him... So did the Uchiha clan.... Damn he really was alone' Kakashi was so focused on himself, everything that happened... He didn't even think of (name), his best friends fiance and Kakashi would never say it but... He had feelings for the Omega when they were young.

He knew it was wrong to even think of his best friends future mate but... Fuck the look in (name)s eyes...

He still loved him.

He loved that angry Omega, he knew he fucked up beyond repair.

Sighing he shelved those feelings and decided it would be a tomorrow thing to deal with.

(Name) Listened to his son ramble about his day and how cruel Kakashi was but then the plot twist of the aspect of teamwork "those two are going to be by your side for a while, as much as you hate Sasuke, he is your teammate so you gotta find some common ground" (name) lightly lectured the pup who huffed "maybe invite your team to dinner tomorrow!" The idea made Naruto scowl but he didn't deny it.

Tge words left (name)s mouth faster than he could realize that meant kakashi being in his space and he immediately regretted it but his pup needed this.

So he would just have to suck it up, he was an adult and he needed to move on for the sake of his kid.

"Oh, Iruka Sensei wanted to know if you got home safe, I told him ya did! He constantly asks about you" the blond rambled absentmindedly and (name) looked confused "he does?" "Yeah! He's always asking how you are and if you're seeing someone! It's totally annoying!"

(Name) Was dense sometimes but even he knew what the Alpha was doing "well next time, tell him I'm not seeing anyone" (name) didn't know what he was doing but.... Iruka was a nice alpha, caring and doting...

Maybe it was time to date again.

"Naruto, what would you think if I started dating" he didn't want to do such a big step without talking to his son, the young alpha tilting his head "is Iruka gonna be my new dad?"

"What?! N-no! I mean maybe one day? I'm just asking to see if you were ok if Iruka and I went on a date, I know your close to him and I don't want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable" the Omega walked to the boy who was seated at the table and crouched before him and took his hands "I mean, I don't care? I don't think anyones good enough for you but if I had to choose, I would pick Iruka!"

(Name) Smiled at his son's words and gently tussled the blonds hair and rubbed his wrist while he did so, scenting him lightly "and if you ever feel uncomfortable, let me know ok?"

"Ok mama!"

The two watched a movie that night, (name) renting a VSR for them and the two enjoyed some snacks.

And for a moment, (name) forgot about his blow up that morning.

(Name) Sought Iruka out the following morning, holding a hand made lunch as a courting gift and another one for himself.

Knocking on the alphas door, he heard shuffling before Iruka opened the wooden door, hair down and in casual clothes "(name)?" He asked confused "hi! Uh- I was wondering if you possibly wanted to join me for lunch? I totally get it if you have plans already-- honestly this was stupid to Spring on you! I shouldn't ha--""I would love too (name), that sounds wonderful" Iruka shut the other up and smiled at the beautiful Omega before him.

(Name)s awkward and bashful smile made the Alphas chest warm and after grabbing his wallet and putting on his sandals, the two headed out. "So what sprung this? Not that I'm complaining" the Alpha asked softly and (name) shrugged "I-I haven't done this before... I am trying to court you" (name) tried to invoke some confidence from deep within him and the Alphas face quickly became red "wait really?"

"Yes, so I hope you accept my courting attempt!" (Name) Was so nervous, staring at the other who froze for a second before a stupid grin broke out on his face "I happily accept!" Iruka said a little louder than needed "I didn't want to assume you were flirting with me -- Naruto says I'm oblivious" he had no prior experience with this, before he was practically sold off to the Uchiha clan, he was helping his family in the hidden mist village and the Uchiha clan was a better option than Gatō and his obsession with the Omega and his beauty.

"Well I think it's cute" Iruka commented and (name) looked away, a bit flustered with the praise.

Iruka had a feeling that (name) wasn't seeing anyone, he remembered his relationship with Obito and that was... That was depressing.

He hated obito for many reasons and that was one of them, the Omega was deeply neglected and he knew he wanted to take in Sasuke as well but was vetoed by the ninja academy and Hokage, something the Omega was still not fully over.

The worry of Sasuke being too close to the curse that was Naruto.

The two ate their lunch together, Iruka making (name) short laugh with his jokes and the Alpha was surprised the omega liked his awful jokes.

"Oh hey! There's my mom and Iruka Sensei!" Naruto said excitedly, his two favorite people together made him very happy, Sasuke and Sakura looking curious and the young Uchiha recognized the Omega who brought him meals weekly. He liked that Omega, he made good food.

"Mama?" Sakura asked and Kakashi glanced at her "he raised Naruto as both a mother and father, Mama is simply a label" he didn't like how cozy the two were, sitting barely a foot away from one another. "Hey mama!" Naruto yelled and the Omega turned to see his pup and the others and waved "oh! My mama wants to know if you guys wanna join us for dinner! He makes really good food!"

Sasuke shrugged a yes and Sakura agreed because Sasuke agreed and the three looked at Kakashi who sighed "I suppose" as if he didn't want to talk to the Omega again, he didn't want their relationship or lack of to end like this and he didn't want to let the other go.

"Awesome! Hey mama! They agreed to come for dinner!"

(Name) Gave an awkward thumbs up and the pup grinned excitedly.

#anime x reader #anime x male reader #x male reader #omega male reader #omegaverse #male reader #naruto x male reader #naruto x reader #iruka umino #iruka x reader #Iruka x male reader #kakashi x male reader #kakashi x reader

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444eggnog · 16 hours ago

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Car Fun

✍︎: my friend and i were in a heated debate over whether Careless Whisper is actually a sexy, seductive song or just emotional chaos with a saxophone. so here’s a short au where Lando confidently thinks it is sexy and suffers the consequences, lol. as usual, i hope you enjoy! ♡

content: fluff, humor, failed seduction, chaotic car vibes, George Michael jump scare, suggestive but not smutty

pairing: bf!Lando x reader

wc: 1218

Lando was exactly four and a half hours into a nine-hour flight back to Monaco, lounging under a cashmere blanket in first class, slippers on, champagne half-finished, and utterly, violently bored.

He'd already scrolled through the snack menu twice. Watched the safety video purely to roast it. Tried but failed to nap. His mind was restless, skittering between thoughts of the last race, the next one, and Y/N.

He missed her. That was rare for him to admit, even internally, but it was true. Two weeks of video calls and blurry schedules had taken their toll, and he could still hear her sleepy voice from that morning’s call: “Come home soon. I miss annoying you in person.”

He smiled at the memory, then opened the in-flight entertainment system.

He wasn’t expecting to find it. Fifty Shades Freed.

He blinked. Paused. Then smirked.

Y/N had this thing, no, a phase. “He’s not even that hot,” he always said, to which she’d roll her eyes and argue, “You can’t say that if you haven’t watched it. That's a lie.”

Lando leaned back in his seat, popped a chocolate-covered almond into his mouth, and clicked play like a man with nothing to lose.

A few minutes later, he was fully committed. The infamous sports car scene hit, and Lando's eyes went wide.

That’s it? That’s the scene that made her blush?

He had that car. Literally. Same size. Same engine. A way cooler playlist.

And suddenly, he had a mission.

─── 🏁

He got home late that night. Y/N was already fast asleep, curled up in one of his hoodies, face squished into his pillow. He stood in the doorway for a moment, grinning to himself like a man with a Very Stupid Plan.

Tomorrow night, he thought. Dinner. Drive. Pull over. Blow her mind.

He even curated a special playlist: Hot Car Heat Vol. 1 (Certified Horny Hours), and yes, he was proud of the title. Track 1: The Weeknd. Track 2: That one Miguel song. Track 3: I’ll Make Love to You – Boyz II Men. Track 4: A wild card: Let’s Get It On by Marvin Gaye.

─── 🏁

The next night went perfectly, until it didn’t.

Dinner was great. She looked beautiful. They laughed the whole time. Then came the drive. The city lights blurred past the windows. His hand grazed her knee at a red light. Her lips curved into a smirk. Go time.

He turned off the main road and pulled into an empty overlook, the city glowing softly in the distance, music humming low through the speakers.

She really did try to be sexy. Gave him that look, slow and dangerous, the one that once made Lando drop an entire protein shake because, in his words, he “forgot how arms worked.”

He leaned in, hand sliding up her thigh, voice low like he was auditioning for a softcore drama.

“Get on top of me,” he whispered.

She blinked. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” he said, eyes dark with mischief. “Don’t act like you didn’t rewatch that Fifty Shades car scene twenty times.”

She snorted, but played along. Moved slowly. Dramatically. Or at least she tried, until her head slammed into the roof of the car.

THUNK.

“OW. What the… your car is a damn coffin,” she groaned, rubbing her head and collapsing against the console.

Lando wheezed so hard he nearly activated the horn. “You okay?!”

“No! I was trying to be hot, and now I think I have a concussion.”

Still, she repositioned, half-laughing, half-committed and climbed onto his lap. That’s when her knee hit the screen on the dashboard.

And that’s when it happened.

“TENENEN-TENTEN-NEHNEH-TENENENENEH…”

The saxophone. George Michael. Careless Whisper. Blasting at full volume.

Lando froze. Her mouth fell open.

“Lando,” she whispered, slowly turning to him, “did you seriously put Careless Whisper on your seduction playlist?”

He looked like he’d just been caught cheating on a math test. “I—no. It was supposed to be Miguel. Or The Weeknd. That wasn’t meant to happen.”

She blinked. “You thought Careless Whisper was sexy?”

His jaw dropped. “It’s a classic! That saxophone? It’s iconic!”

The saxophone blared louder behind him, like it was personally offended on his behalf.

She stared at him.

He doubled down. “Come on, ‘I’m never gonna dance again’? That’s heartbreak. That’s pain. That’s—”

“That’s not foreplay, Lando.”

She tried to keep a straight face. She really did. But the music swelled, dramatic, tragic, borderline theatrical, like the car itself was trying to seduce her.

She lost it.

Full-blown laughter. The kind that made her fold in half, wheezing into his hoodie while the ghost of George Michael wailed behind them.

Lando sighed, utterly defeated. “You have no respect for the greats.”

“You tried to seduce me with a meme.”

“I tried to seduce you with emotion.”

“Next time,” she said, still breathless, “just stick to Miguel.”

Lando slumped. “This is literally the opposite of hot.”

“No,” she grinned, wiping tears from her cheeks. “This is exactly us.”

They climbed out of the car and into the cool Monaco night, laughter still echoing as they leaned back against the hood, legs tangled, breath steadying under a sky full of stars.

Everything felt quieter now. Softer.

She leaned over, pressed a kiss to his neck, and whispered, “Wanna finish this in bed?”

Lando stilled.

“No horns. No saxophones. No head trauma. Just us. A mattress. And the whole night to make up for the two weeks you were gone.”

He looked at her like she’d just offered him the universe. “I thought you'd never ask,” he murmured.

She smiled. “But the playlist stays in the car.”

He groaned. “You’re never gonna let that go, are you?”

“Never. I want it played at our wedding.”

Lando flopped dramatically against the hood. “I seduced you with George Michael. I’m never recovering from this.”

“You seduced me with a horn section, love. Respect the artistry.”

And that’s how the night ended, not with steam or scandal, but laughter, starlight, and a slow drive home.

Where no saxophone would interrupt them again.

Probably.

─── 🏁

short epilogue:

What Lando forgot because of course he did was that his phone automatically reconnected to the car’s Bluetooth the moment they started it back up to go home.

And worse?

He forgot his Spotify account was public.

So while Careless Whisper blasted through the speakers during the most chaotic failed seduction attempt in history, it also blasted onto his “Recently Played” for every single one of his friends to see.

🎧 Now Playing: Careless Whisper – George Michael From playlist: Hot Car Heat Vol. 1 (Certified Horny Hours) Public playlist · Updated 1 hour ago

Max Verstappen saw it first.

He didn’t even ask questions. Just screenshot it and dropped it straight into the group chat.

max: what the fuck is this HAHAHA max: “certified horny hours” george: did u seriously try to seduce her with GEORGE MICHAEL carlos: oh my god LANDO alex: i’m gonna print this and frame it charles: you’re finished bro. you’re done.

Across the flat, Lando’s phone buzzed violently on the kitchen counter.

He was too busy brushing his teeth and muttering “it’s not that bad” to himself to notice.

It was, in fact, that bad.

#lando norris #ln4 #lando norris blurb #lando norris drabble #lando norris imagines #lando norris fluff #lando x reader #lando x you #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #lando norris x y/n #Spotify

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dixonsdarkelf · 2 hours ago

Text

LMAO I knew exactly how this would go based on the title & it still caught me off guard when it happened 😭😂

Daryl’s the same way. He just loves you, is all. You’re like an Apocalypse Barbie, all pink and soft and cute and sweet but tough when you need to be, in a world where women like that don’t exist anymore. Daryl never realized how much he missed femininity, until you came along with all your frills and princess demands and pink panties and makeup, keep trying to put blush on his cheeks just to See, Daryl, you’ve got great cheekbones. Look! Don’t even get him started about what he saw the other day, when he walked in on you tying a purple ribbon around the handle of an axe.

This is precisely what I would aspire to be in a post-apocalyptic world. Bow on the axe & all 🎀

Hey now, she has a point. She did ask you to hold it, sir 🙄

You roll your eyes, one of your favorite things to do around them. “I’m just teasing him, Rick. Just wanted him to put me in my place,” Daryl actually lets out a laugh at that. You’re so funny. So honest. “You’ve both been neglecting me so much lately,” you whine, and while you’re definitely being a little dramatic, especially since one of them is almost always somewhere around you if not physically with you, the both of them have had their hands full with duties in the community.

Should just give babygirl the attention she's looking for 😉

Daryl doesn’t need anything else to create tension between him and Rick. So he’s kept the secret from you, about the dead bodies that they’ve found when they’re on runs, bodies that have been brutally murdered, and the people they’ve met that have tried to harm them. Alexandria has been doing great, but there’s shit scarier than walkers out behind the gates.

Yeah, probably best to keep that a secret for now tbh...

But it’s not the main thing that turns him on, the two of you together. You turn him on, and it’s not because of Rick, or what you two do together. What the three of you do together. Daryl realizes that he’s so into you because he trusts you, has bonded with you emotionally, which is why he’s able to get intimate with you in more ways than just fucking you. He loves you, and it’s the first time in his entire life that he’s ever felt this way.

Oh my heart 🥹 This is so sweet.

What he does know, is that his dick starts chubbing up almost immediately as the name leaves your pretty mouth, and he lets go of your hand to rudely re-adjust himself in his jeans before smacking you on the ass on the way out of the door.

Ope 😳 Sounds like someone's into it.

Daryl feels it all the time. When Rick gets you all to himself some nights, when he hears the headboard pounding against the wall and neither one of you invited him in the room. He feels it, burning hot in his chest, when people say you guys are such a cute couple when they see you and Rick together, and a million more examples he could think of that hurt. But Daryl takes it out on you in bed, in the way that you like, with his tongue or his fingers or his cock, sometimes with a hand placed carefully around your throat. And sometimes he gives Rick a taste of his own medicine. Daryl planned to do that tonight, but you beat him to it, calling him Daddy when that’s a word meant for Rick.

Oooh a little jealousy...okay boys, I see you 👀

The most special word to you. You call Daryl by that name all the time now, but it’s less about sex and dominance with him like it is with Rick, and more about the feeling of safety. Being taken care of. Daryl loves it.

Oh that's kinda wholesome 🥰

Rick’s a little scared at what he’s discovered outside of the gates. Miles and miles away from home base, sure, but seeing the bodies of people strung up to trees, gutted like fish, branded and hurt and just - He doesn’t really want to think about it at dinner. Told Daryl he’d put those thoughts away for tonight, because the likelihood of anything happening over a plate of Deanna’s shitty brussel sprouts and Carol’s potato salad really isn’t likely. So Rick’s trying to enjoy himself, taking whatever alcohol is offered and keeping his eyes on you.

If I found something like that, I'd find it hard to think about much else either, honestly.

I'm a Spencer hater to my core, so I feel this deep in my bones.

Rick is not having a good time tonight. Just internally. He feels edgy and he feels like he wants you, all to himself, with a lock on the bedroom door and his dick buried so far inside of you he could get you pregnant in just one shot, but. Here he is.

WHOA SIR 😵‍💫

People think it’s wrong, or they don’t want to think about it at all. They don’t like it. Rick gets that. If he wasn’t apart of it, he’d probably think the same thing too.

Tbh it's no one else's business. They don't have to like it, but they can keep their opinions to themselves.

Finally, when dinner is about to end, when Rick starts to feel some relief - It happens.

I'm already cackling 😭😂

“Daddy, can you please pass the salt?” It’s like he’s on autopilot. The name is just so familiar, Rick’s trained to answer to it. There’s some salt in the middle of the table, a cute little ceramic shaker that Deanna must’ve paid a lot for before, handpainted, and he reaches for it while in a conversation with Carol when his fingers brush against Daryl’s, and - Fucking hell.

When I tell you I cried laughing 😭 These poor guys can't catch a break.

“Oh, shit,” he teases, shaking his head like he’s proud. “You know what they said. The prettiest girls got the worst daddy issues. It’s in the Bible or something,”

BRO 😭

Pouring your salt and complimenting Deanna on the potatoes, while Daryl literally gets up and walks outside, grumbling something about never coming to another dinner again, and all Rick can think about is the fact that you could’ve easily grabbed the salt shaker yourself. Spoiled brat.

LMAO I think we all know she did it on purpose 🤭

“Think I earned that title fair and square, man. Made her cum six times the other night,”

SIX TIMES BRO??? Goddamn 🥵

“Fuck off,” Daryl replies, and then you whine, tossing your panties in the direction of the both of them. “No, fuck me already!”

LMAO poor Reader You'll get it soon enough, baby.

This was so funny, and it made me laugh so hard. I really needed that. Thank you 🖤

‎ 𝐃𝐀𝐃'𝐒 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒! 𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐊 & 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐘𝐋 ━━━ ✧˖°

‎ ‎ ‎ 𝐃𝐀𝐃𝐃𝐘, 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐒𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐀𝐋𝐓?

‎ part one + dbf! rick and daryl masterlist

“Why’re you lookin’ at me like that?” Daryl asks, holding back a scoff at the expression on Rick’s face. As close as they’ve gotten over these last few years, like brothers, and even closer now with everything involving you, Daryl still doesn’t like to feel on the spot. He’s uncomfortable with the way Rick’s looking at him.

Like he’s smug. Or a little pissed. Or jealous? Shit, maybe the reason Daryl hates it so much is because he can’t read Rick at all.

Rick shrugs. They’re sitting in the living room, and Rick’s drinking a beer while Daryl holds your glass of water while you grab something upstairs. He could set the cup on the table, sure - but it didn’t even cross his mind. You were cuddling against his side, tucked up all nice and snug under his arm, and then you got up and pecked his cheek when Rick told you to go get ready for dinner, asked if he could hold your water for you since you’d been sipping on it.

Daryl follows rules really fuckin’ well. He’s not the rebel people make him out to be, not even close. But now he feels a little embarrassed about it, with Rick looking at him and all, so he puts the cup down and wipes the condensation off on his pant leg. He grunts, while Rick laughs and shakes his head. Daryl scowls.

“Nothin’, man,” Rick promises, although it’s obvious now that he’s teasing Daryl. He always does, whenever he sees how far gone the older man is for you. How in love he is. Which is funny, because Rick still thinks he plays it cool around you. Still thinks nobody can tell that he’d ask how high if you told him to jump, that he tries to satisfy your every whim as long as it doesn’t jeopardize your safety - pretends he’s all dominant and Daddy and whatever else, and that might be the case in the bedroom…

But it ain’t the case in regular, day to day life, that’s for sure.

Don’t even get him started about what he saw the other day, when he walked in on you tying a purple ribbon around the handle of an axe.

Daryl wants to tell Rick that it’s obviously not nothing, and to stop fucking teasing him because he hates that shit, but then you come down the stairs and you plop yourself down next to him again, looking to your water glass on the table. There’s strawberries in the glass because you wanted fancy water so you cut them up and added them to the pitcher in the fridge, and it must be for decoration because Daryl tasted those strawberries and they tasted sour. They taste like ass, except -

Well, Daryl’s only tasted one ass, and it was yours, and truth be told, you didn’t taste bad at all. Better than those strawberries at least. God, he’s blushing, so he turns his focus on you, except you’re glaring at him.

Like an angry kitten. Big eyes, nose sort of scrunched up. You still look cute, even when you’re pissed. He’s confused, until you poke him in the chest with your little finger, nails painted with something sparkly. “I told you to hold my water, Daryl,” you’re pouting, and you’re upset over something so stupid that Daryl just kind of wants to kiss the pout off of you. He tries to, but you pull away.

So you’re doing this game again. The brat role, where nothing is good enough for you until Daryl or Rick forces you to take it. Which is fine, he supposes. Daryl can work with that.

“No kisses. I told you to hold it, and you put it on the table. You never listen to me, Daryl. I swear, it’s like,” but Rick cuts you off, as he always does when you start your little filibuster of fake crimes either one of them committed. Sometimes Daryl hates that Rick always cuts you off, because he likes to hear the bullshit you’re spewing because it’s just so damn ridiculous. You’re smart, the way you can make mountains out of molehills. Actually takes some brains to be so ridiculous.��

But Rick cuts in. “Leave him alone, would you?” Daryl thinks Rick is standing up for him, but instead he says, “I could’ve held it for you. You didn’t even ask.”

It’s been like that lately. Petty between the two of them, and Daryl hates it. As close as he and Rick are, nothing can really prepare a man for sharing the woman he loves.

Daryl’s just glad Merle’s not alive to see him like this - sharing a bed most nights with Rick and you. The other night his foot accidentally brushed against Rick’s and it was so uncomfortable. Somehow even more uncomfortable than the way their dicks accidentally touched when they were both inside of you a few weeks ago. Daryl’s face is definitely pink from the memory of double penetrating you with his best friend, but your bickering with Rick stops his boner before it even starts.

On the walker front, things are stable. The community has enough supplies, and plenty of trustworthy, able bodied residents. Every job is filled, every person has a place to sleep, and things are good. Better than ever, although sometimes Daryl wonders if that’s just because he’s in love.

Maybe everything looks better with you in his heart.

But that sappy shit still makes him feel weird, so he just replies to you. Places a hand on your thigh.

“Just busy, you know. With all those threats. You know we’ve all been on guard, tryin’ to figure out what we saw out there,” Daryl doesn’t say as much as he planned to, because Rick shoots him a look that reminds Daryl that they talked about this. Disagreed actually, because Rick doesn’t want you to know about the potential danger outside of this community, and Daryl thinks you deserve a right to know about everything. You’re grown. You’re smart.

But Daryl’s kept his mouth shut to avoid any drama between him and Rick. He already hears enough bullshit from him about making your hair smell like cigarette smoke whenever you join him on a smoke break (and you still won’t admit to Rick that you like to smoke too), or from keeping you up too late when you play cards with him and Abraham over at Abe’s place that he shares with some of the others from the group. Shit like that.

Alexandria has been doing great, but there’s shit scarier than walkers out behind the gates. Rick doesn’t want to worry you, and neither does Daryl, but -

He supposes it’s a worry for another time. You’ve all got to get to dinner, remind the rest of the group that Daryl and Rick aren’t a pair of perverts that keep you locked up in the house.

Your brows furrow, and then you place your hand on top of Daryl’s and lean up to kiss him. “Alright,” you grumble against his lips, surprisingly agreeable. Daryl’s focused on you, but he can feel Rick staring, probably a little tipsy from his beer and maybe even a little turned on, watching the two of you together. He’s admitted he likes it before, watching, but it still feels weird to Daryl.

He’s into this whole thing because of you. He loves you, and he wants whatever you want. Sure, it’s hot, watching you blow Rick, or call him Daddy while you ride the cock of a man that was already grown before you were even born. But that’s just because he’s a man, and any man seeing that shit would pop a boner.

“Good girl,” they both praise, accidentally at the same time - although Rick’s has a tone of something degrading and mocking, while Daryl’s good girl is genuine. The silence that follows them saying the same thing at the same time is long, and you freeze before letting out a laugh, standing up and taking Daryl’s hand.

“Thank you, Daddy,” you say, and it sounds innocent coming out of your mouth, but it’s far from it. When you say it, you look directly at Daryl, and maybe you just really want him right now, because you get like that sometimes, horny for just one of them, which is understandable. Daryl can’t believe you’re even able to walk with the amount they both fuck you, honestly.

Or maybe you're just trying to piss Rick off - which you do, every damn day. Daryl doesn’t know your reasoning.

He doesn't have to look behind him at Rick to know that he’s jealous.

Rick says that he doesn’t get jealous, but Daryl knows that he does. Doesn’t know why Rick even pretends like he doesn’t, because it’s natural and it makes pretty damn good sense why he’d feel that way.

But Daryl takes it out on you in bed, in the way that you like, with his tongue or his fingers or his cock, sometimes with a hand placed carefully around your throat. And sometimes he gives Rick a taste of his own medicine. Daryl planned to do that tonight, but you beat him to it, calling him Daddy when that’s a word meant for Rick.

It’s just that - you’ve been doing it more and more lately. Calling Daryl Daddy. For a long while, he had a feeling that he was just the third wheel in whatever romantic adventure you and Rick were on. He thought that you liked Rick but you didn’t want Daryl to lose feelings for you, so you let him hang around. You assured him that wasn’t the case, but still - it was hard not to feel that way. But as time has gone on, he’s starting to believe you.

Daddy. The most special word to you. You call Daryl by that name all the time now, but it’s less about sex and dominance with him like it is with Rick, and more about the feeling of safety. Being taken care of.

Daryl loves it.

Daddy, open my soda can? I got a scratch on my finger, you’ll say, as if those things are correlated in any way, as if you need to make up reasons for Daryl to dote on you, but you’ll hop on yout tip toes for a second, looking all cute and innocent, or your tits will jiggle when you bend over the counter to hand the can to him - and, fuck. Truth is, you ask and Daryl always delivers, so he does whatever you need and kisses the tip of your nose.

Sometimes you get scared at night, because the world is a fucking scary place, and sometimes you just want some extra comfort. Will sit on his lap on the couch and ask him to hold you (as if you have to ask) or pull the covers halfway up over your head when you’re in his bed, head on his chest, just seeking some comfort with the soft murmur of Daddy leaving your mouth.

And, yeah, okay - it’s sexual too. Whining Daddy and damn near ripping his hair out when he’s between your thighs with two fingers curved inside your tight pussy and his tongue on your throbbing clit, or when you’re bouncing on his cock like a fucking bunny.

The jealousy that Rick feels is valid, and Daryl understands. In a way, that feeling just goes straight to his dick. Makes him horny and angry and fired up when the roles are reversed, but for right now? He enjoys the feeling of Rick’s eyes on your hand that’s interlocked with his. ‘S what the fucker gets anyway, for hogging you the entire night last night.

Rick’s just jealous ‘cause Daryl’s got himself a title now too.

Daddy. Yeah, Daryl’s pretty sure Daddy is better than boyfriend any day.

────

When the community is doing well, it usually means that Rick is exhausted.

Granted, he’s been exhausted every single day, every single second, for the last few years - and he’s pretty sure everyone still alive feels the same way. If there’s ever a day, or a week, where things feel hopeful and exciting and good - he can pretty much guarantee a storm of shit will follow soon after, a pattern he’s starting to recognize by now.

He doesn’t really want to think about it at dinner. Told Daryl he’d put those thoughts away for tonight, because the likelihood of anything happening over a plate of Deanna’s shitty brussel sprouts and Carol’s potato salad really isn’t likely. So Rick’s trying to enjoy himself, taking whatever alcohol is offered and keeping his eyes on you.

Everyone wants to talk to him, because he’s the leader, so he listens and answers and tells Deanna he doesn’t care if the chicken meat she’s serving is white or dark, but he’s not really paying attention to anything except for you. Nothing else matters when you’re around - and that’s amazing, but it’s also really fucking dangerous, but it’s not your fault. You can’t control how lovable you are, but sometimes Rick wishes he could go back in time and kick your dad’s ass for making such a perfect woman.

He has those thoughts in his more insane bouts of anger and frustration, but. You know what? He’s going to drink to that. Takes a big sip of wine and pretends like he's a normal boyfriend. That he doesn’t share his girlfriend, who’s young enough to be his daughter, with his best friend who’s also old enough to be her father. That he’s not going to take you home after this and fuck you until it hurts to walk, just to take all his frustration out on you. Sexually, that is.

Because you love that shit. It’s never hard enough for you, never rough enough. And maybe you’re just a brat, trying to get Rick to go deeper and faster to get a rise out of him, but sometimes he feels like he can’t keep up with you.

Little Miss Virgin, his ass. You might’ve been a virgin when he first fucked you, but you were far from sexually inexperienced, and Rick feels jealous all over again just thinking about you with other guys.

And a little turned on, which further irritates him. Maybe what you said is true - told him you learned, in a psychology course, that men deal with anxiety by getting angry. You’re a little smarty pants, and Rick loves you so much, but.

He’s just in a mood today.

Daryl always tells him to stop being so rough with you. Left fuckin’ bruises on her man, he said the other day, flipped out about you limping after they fucked you at the same time, and he really hates it if he’s around whenever Rick gives you a little slap on the cheek. It doesn’t matter how many times you tell Daryl that you want it, it still upsets him to witness you getting hurt. Because Daryl can be rough because that’s just who he is. It’s accidental. He’s big, a little uncoordinated, whereas Rick really does try to make you take more.

It’s hard sharing you, but Rick knew it would be. But he also knows Daryl, and he knows you, and for a situation like this, he quite literally couldn't pick a better man to share his girl with. Daryl’s such a great guy, such a good friend, and he treats you so damn well that it feels nice to know you've got someone else. In case something ever happened to Rick, or even the other way around.

He and Daryl have talked about it, what it would be like if something happened to either one of them. At least you’d still be taken care of, because the likelihood of one of them getting hurt isn't zero. Not in this world. It feels nice to know that no matter what, you’d be okay.

And, both Rick and Daryl tell themselves that to feel better, to push away the guilt of double-teaming their dead friend’s daughter. To keep her safe. But, hey. Whatever gets them through the day.

Maggie asks Rick something too serious for this dinner, so he brushes her off as nicely as he can, but then he sees you from the corner of his eye giggling with Spencer, and Rick wants you to have friends, but come on. What could you possibly talk about with Spencer? Rick just doesn’t like the guy, never has. Even before you said he looked like he could be a model for a surfing brand one night to Rosita. Whatever.

When you laugh a little louder, Rick hears Daryl call Spencer’s name to take his attention off of you, and he does it so smoothly that nobody else probably realizes why he did it. Or maybe they do, because the entire group does know about the three of you. They think it’s weird as shit. Rick knows this, and has had people in the community question just how reliable and trustworthy and good both him and Daryl are, but the other man set them straight.

Really, people are more afraid of Daryl than they are of Rick.

“The fuck you care for? Don’t needa tell anyone who I’m stickin’ my dick in. Rick don’t have to tell you shit neither,” he snapped at the first person to voice their concern, and then followed it up with, “‘And ‘s not gay, before one of you fucks tries to say sumthin.’ More gay to worry about who I’m fuckin’, if you ask me.”

And, yeah, that shut people up. But both Daryl and Rick still try to keep the PDA to a minimum around you, although you make it impossible. It’s why he’s sitting across from you, and Daryl is a few people down from you at this large table, because they both want to give the group space from this. They know it’s weird. Saw the looks on people’s faces when they were leaving for a few days on a run and you hugged and kissed them both, practically sandwiched between them in front of everyone.

People think it’s wrong, or they don’t want to think about it at all. They don’t like it. Rick gets that. If he wasn’t apart of it, he’d probably think the same thing too.

But for right now, he’s just glad that Daryl hates Spencer just as much as he does.

Without Spencer to talk to, you finally focus on eating. Rick watches you push a pea around your plate, thinks the way you tease Eugene and try to take a bite of his mashed potatoes is funny, until he retaliates and grabs your bread roll off your plate, and since Gabriel is sitting next to Rick, he notices when the man almost falls out of his chair, making a scene until someone says there’s cake.

Rick doesn’t even have to hear him say it to know you fucked up with a game of footsie. Which sucks, because Rick would’ve had fun playing with you right now. Too far to the right, sweetheart, he wants to tell you, but you brush it off rather well, stick your tongue out at Daryl who shakes his head like you’re crazy, and Rick just feels sorry for Glenn and Eugene who’re sitting between you two.

Finally, when dinner is about to end, when Rick starts to feel some relief -

It happens.

It starts with Deanna offering someone the last scoop of mashed potatoes, and then you say you want it, are about to split it with Tara, and everything is fine. Rick doesn’t even know he’s supposed to be bracing himself for what’s about to happen. The mashed potatoes are on your plate, you’re bragging to Eugene that you got the last serving, and then -

“Daddy, can you please pass the salt?”

It’s like he’s on autopilot. The name is just so familiar, Rick’s trained to answer to it. There’s some salt in the middle of the table, a cute little ceramic shaker that Deanna must’ve paid a lot for before, handpainted, and he reaches for it while in a conversation with Carol when his fingers brush against Daryl’s, and -

Fucking hell.

Rick’s never felt so awkward. And in all the time he’s spent with Daryl out on the road, seeing terrifying things - the look on the other man’s face when they both realize what happened has more terror on it than Rick has ever seen before.

He swears his entire body turns the color of a tomato, and his neck starts heating up, so much so that he jerks his hand away from the salt shaker and starts pulling at the collar of his shirt. Daryl clears his throat, but he does hand you the salt, all the while Abraham hoots with laughter at the end of the table, slamming his hands down so hard his plate almost bounces off.

“Oh, shit,” he teases, shaking his head like he’s proud. “You know what they said. The prettiest girls got the worst daddy issues. It’s in the Bible or something,” and he’s drunk, and he’s wrong, and Rosita smacks him so hard on the back of the head that Rick’s actually a little concerned, but you seem just jolly.

You know what?, Rick thinks. Fuck it. The truth is out, he can’t take it back. So much for no PDA or keeping your bedroom activities and the dynamic of the relationship on the down low. He stands up, says he’ll see everyone bright and early tomorrow, and fixes you with a look. You’re familiar with it.

It’s the same one he wears when he tells you to get on your knees or lectures you about running off. You’re well trained, and you show it by quickly standing up, no longer the playful little minx that had Rick walking on eggshells during dinner.

Rick walks to you and grabs your hand while you say a quick goodnight to everyone, then he tugs you along back to the house you share.

“You need to be more fuckin’ careful,” he warns, dropping your hand to pinch at the back of your neck while he leads you to the house. Not too rough, but enough to get you to know that he’s serious. That it’s not cool to pull that shit, although something like pride is starting to rear its head inside of him as you both make your way up the porch steps, where Rick can see Daryl, already in the living room with the lights on, from the window.

“You’re so grumpy today,” you complain, but Rick ignores you. Doesn’t want to start bickering before he gets to fuck you.

Mine, he thinks, knowing you pulled that whole stunt on purpose. Mine, mine, mine. Everyone knows that you’re his. Daryl’s. Theirs. What’s he got to be embarrassed about? Rick’s done enough for this entire community to have what he wants without judgment, hasn’t he? Daryl too. ‘S what he deserves. What Daryl deserves. A pretty girl like you, even when you’re an attention seeking little brat.

And a pretty girl like you deserves two men who know how to give you what you want. They’re better for you than some idiot guy around your age. Better for you than someone like Spencer, who couldn’t be the man you needed him to be even if he tried.

Rick’s not jealous. Seriously. He just hates that guy.

Rick’s in a significantly better mood now that he’s away from everyone, knowing that he can charge you with some petty crimes to punish you, and hopefully this time - get Daryl in on it, instead of that good cop, bad cop shit. If they tire you out enough, maybe you won’t make such a big fucking fuss when he tells you they’re leaving tomorrow to go investigate the threats outside the walls.

But tonight is for fun.

“Can’t have two Daddies, you know. Gotta think of sumthin’ else to call Daryl,” Rick says. He leads you up the stairs, and he follows with Daryl following him, and he can’t see it but the other man just shakes his head.

“Think I earned that title fair and square, man. Made her cum six times the other night,” a little pause, when they get to the door of the Rick’s bedroom and block the doorway while you get on the bed. Your dress is slipping off your shoulder, and later that night, Rick will tell you he knows you did that salt thing on purpose, because you’re an exhibitionist little brat. Could see how wet you were, from the spot on your panties as you took your clothes off for him and Daryl while you were on the bed.

But for now, in the present, Daryl takes his shirt off. “She can have two Daddies if she wants. Can have anything she wants,” he promises, walking closer to the bed.

Rick’s already taking his belt off. He laughs, loves how much Daryl loves you, before shutting the bedroom door. And just in case, he locks it.

“Whatever you say, Uncle Daryl.”

“Fuck off,” Daryl replies, and then you whine, tossing your panties in the direction of the both of them.

“No, fuck me already!”

‎ just a little oneshot bc i missed my bfs 🩷 part two coming soon!

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curiouspupsicle · 3 days ago

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Good Omens Fan Fiction Friday (6/20/25) - Acceptance

In divisive times, it can challenging to find the universals that unite us. But all humans want to be seen, known, and accepted. That yearning turns up as a theme in many Good Omens fan fics. So for my third Pride-themed fic rec, I'll be shouting out some beautiful fics in which acceptance is centered. This will be a tiny selection, as usual. To keep the rec list concise, I'm focusing on fics in which a character hides something of themselves and expresses fear or anxiety that once seen, they'll be rejected. Of course, their inclusion on the list means that doesn't happen.

Let's start with one so beautiful it made me cry. It's Our Souls are Meant to Shine (NR) by BlackUnicorn. Aziraphale is a loving parent to Adam and Warlock and happily married to Crowley when he realizes, at 50 years old, that he's a man. Yes, having it on this list is a spoiler. Hope you don't mind. It's worth a read even if you know how it ends.

You Can Have It (E) by @voluptatiscausa deals more with self-acceptance (the title is a hint). It starts with an adorable meet-cute when a stunning, ginger delivery person shows up with flowers from Aziraphale's ex. As the story goes on, Aziraphale tries to move past his doubts that he deserves happiness. It's charming.

Shoutout to @addledmongoose who recommended this next fic when they reblogged my Queer Guardians recs. I think it fits here as well. It's A Model Guardian (E) by Fuuma-san. Crowley is a genderqueer model on their way up. Aziraphale (that's Mr. BAMF!Aziraphale to you) is the body guard hired to protect the model after a recent attack. Crowley avoids revealing themself at work so they don't hinder their career. But everything they show to Aziraphale is met with total acceptance. Aziraphale is also a legal guardian to four queer young people who need the man's love and acceptance as they navigate growing up. Lovely characterizations and a compelling plot add to the thread of "acceptance" that runs through the fic.

Not a Thirst Trap, But an Oasis (M) features text by @scullyphile/@brenna and art by @lexarturo. Aziraphale and Crowley were best friends as children who lost contact for 25 years. Aziraphale is nervous about reconnecting. Although much has changed, the pair discover their bond is still strong. There are many romantic stories in the Good Omens fandom that seem like pure fantasies that would never happen in real life. However, I know two couples who got together after 25 years or more separated. So at least one story trope may be based in reality.

In @tawnyontumblr/tawnyowl95's Tastes (E) Aziraphale is being forced into an engagement against his wishes. He decides the best way to avoid the betrothal to the bride he's never met is to take lessons from notorious rake Crowley. If you've been following my fics for a while, you probably know I love a surprise. And Tastes offers surprising treats. So that's all you're going to hear about this fic here. Oh, and Aziraphale's mother is a real piece of work--one of my favorite characters. Go check it out! There are many more fics that could go on this list. But I'll close it out here and encourage you to reblog and share your favorite fan fics in which "acceptance" is centered.

I'll return next Friday with more great Good Omens fan fics on a new theme. In the meantime, check out my other favorite fics on this pinned post of weekly Good Omens fan fiction recommendations. And if my faves appear to be your faves, check out my bookmarks on AO3--all the fics I rate in my top 10% of everything I've read.

Nurture and encourage the fan fic community. Share kudos and comments to show the many wonderful creators how much we appreciate them.

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #aziraphale/crowley #crowley/aziraphale #good omens fanfiction #go fanfic rec #go fan fic recs #go fan fiction recommendations #fan fiction #go fan fic rec

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alacants · 2 days ago

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idk if you’ve already been asked this but,, what do you think of the 2004 rg final between coria and gaudio?

as far as the actual tennis is concerned, i'll be honest, i've never watched more than the highlights! it's Before My Time and i haven't had a pressing reason to look up a full replay. however i know about it because uh. well. you know why it's famous. and as for the storyline…

goddammit i was just going to link some fun articles to read but i guess i will recap this. i feel like a runaway dog falling for a treat trap. op you likely know all this already, and if you know about this then i am not adding anything particularly new or insightful here. BUT if you don't and you like reading about stefaniil version 1.0 old tennis beef:

gaston gaudio and guillermo coria were childhood frenemies from argentina

they were both part of the golden generation of argentine players called la legión, the equivalent of late 00s spain or present-day italy (how and why this happened)

prior to this era argentina had not had a grand slam champion in 25 years, since guillermo vilas in 1979

guillermo coria is named after guillermo vilas

because he is from a Tennis Family. dad was a coach, started playing at the age of 3. his first birthday cake was racket shaped and he can't remember his first tournament bc he was too young. most importantly, he was financially backed by the argentinean tennis fed from a young age.

won his first title a month after his 18th birthday, by beating… gaston gaudio. three months later he was hit with a 7 month suspension for doping violations, which he ascribed to contaminated vitamin supplements

suspension did not stop his rise. he became the original king of clay, making 6 clay masters finals in 2 years. his last final, rome 05 vs rafa, is a classic. the question was not if he would play for a roland garros title but when.

he was also kind of an asshole.

took shots at his rivals in the press. went through coaches like water. famously beefed with argentina's davis cup captain, who had also been his very first pro coach, until the guy quit.

MEANWHILE gaston gaudio was a much more mercurial talent who had a tortured relationship with tennis. tons of talent (ohbh aficionados check it out), not… tons… of mental stability

you may know him from (clears throat) QUE MAL QUE LA ESTOY PASANDOOO

picked up tennis because his brother played too, liked it fine, but only decided to go pro bc some family setbacks meant they needed the $$

the nyt characterized it as: "gaudio is the self-made miracle, while coria is his country's chosen pet project."

gaudio ground through challengers for a while; in 2002, when he was 24 and still hadn't won an atp title, guga kuerten took him aside like, kid when are you going to get serious.

easy for guga to say! famous gaudio quote: "my problem is not that i don't want to play, it's that i don't want to live." outside assessment: "memorable for various chokes, fade-outs and displays of mental fragility." he was particularly well-known at home for losing argentina's davis cup semifinal in 2003, coming into the semifinal tie 4-0 in dc play and promptly losing to none other than juan carlos ferrero 4-6 0-6 0-6.

(i, of course, know him from the 2005 roland garros match where up 4-0 in the fifth set he told his opponent david ferrer's coach, don't worry i'm going to lose. :) and did.)

however he did eventually start winning, locking down his first title at barcelona 2002 and his second the week after. he also eventually started working with a sports psychologist, before such things were a given, and stabilized somewhat… but still no more titles.

so they are two great players in a golden generation who have been playing each other their entire lives

and they hate each other.

as mentioned coria's first title was a win over gaudio in chile. coria supported river plate in the football and gaudio supported independiente, and because this is argentina that led to aggressive post-match trolling. which was returned with interest one week later when gaudio beat coria in the buenos aires qfs, after the two of them spent the whole match insulting each other. (gaudio allegedly smacked coria in the face with the independiente flag which is very funny to me.)

then there's the hamburg 03 sf, where 1. coria allegedly faked cramps 2. then mocked gaudio for not having enough heart 3. gaudio shouted that if coria looked at him wrong he'd beat the shit of him 4. and slammed coria against the wall in the locker room 5. then coria got in a fistfight with gaudio's brother

(some of this is alleged but the fact that it was believably alleged at all…)

during the rg pre-match presser one of the reporters was like, haha, how are you and coria different! and gaudio responded "well that question would need a VERY LONG answer but i think we should talk about tennis here so let's not get into that"

going into the final their h2h was 3-1 in coria's favor, all on clay. coria was the runaway favorite; no one had expected gaudio—ranked 44th and unseeded—to make it this far. (and yet to get there he'd beaten hewitt and nalbandian…) you can skim this mtf pre-match thread to get an idea of just how much of a favorite gaudio was not.

sure enough coria bagels gaudio in the first set and takes the second 3-6

then he starts cramping

OR DOES HE, a large contingent of tennis fans think he's faking it just like he (allegedly) did in hamburg

however in his post-match presser, he says that because of the doping ban he's too afraid to take vitamins or supplements. so he keeps cramping. i leave it to you, the viewer, to decide.

anyway. coria loses the third set 6-4. and then gets breadsticked

as mentioned i have not actually watched the complete match, i just know the lore. so maybe i'm being unfair to coria. but it is Famous famous as like. the choke of all time.

though it's possibly more accurate to say that they both crumbled but coria crumbled more. the opposite of the sincaraz final, if you will.

gaudio wins 0-6, 3-6, 6-4, 6-1, 8-6

they hug at net and then coria immediately turns around and smashes his racket

after this match coria got the yips and entered a career-ending death spiral

but not before the 05 world team cup! where coria pulled out of a spicy tie vs chile, gaudio said "let's be honest, this isn't a team because there's someone who only chooses the best for himself," and coria responded with "everyone knows we're not friends but i say things face to face instead of going to the press"

gaudio also never really played the same again. (he had a streak of smaller clay titles in 2005 and then nothing to speak of until retiring in 2011.) i actually have no idea whHAHA OH MY GOD so in 2018 he was appointed argentina's davis cup captain. they did… all right, they didn't get relegated but they didn't make the finals before he was sacked in 2021.

whereupon he was replaced by. guillermo coria.

who continues to beef with everyone he has ever met and will continue to do so until the heat death of the universe

how do you say i love mess in argentinian spanish

argentinian tennis experts if you have any especially juicy additions Please Share. meanwhile i guess i'm off to watch this replay!

#op thanks for this invitation. this post could have just been 3-4 links. this was more fun tho.#it's friday afternoon and i don't feel like workingggggg #gaston gaudio #guillermo coria #tennis lore #ask

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 11 hours ago

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Primal (Part 9)

Summary: Brock's arrested, Teddy's getting the help he needs and our crew can finally take some very important steps forward in their lives, as individuals and a family...

Primal Masterlist

Pairing: Alpha!Beau Arlen x Omega!reader

Word Count: 10,400ish

Warnings: language, angst, violence, drugging, serial killers, death, kidnapping, smut

A/N: The finale's finally here! I know this was a bit different but I had so much fun writing this mystery and the science behind it all. Please let me know what your favorite part was!...

Y/N POV

Three Hours Later

“Well good afternoon, sunshine,” you teased. Tim grumbled as he woke up, taking one look around the hospital room and the padded restraints on his wrists before flopping his head back down. “How you feeling?”

“If I could stop waking up tied down to something that’d be great,” he sighed, closing his eyes.

“Should have chosen a different omega if you didn’t want that to be in your future plans,” said Lucy from the table by the window. Tim pointed a finger at her, smirking as she grinned.

“Well, with a certain someone I have an entirely different opinion on the whole situation,” he said, becknowing her over. You rolled your eyes and took a seat at the other end of the bed, Lucy sitting on the edge, taking one of his hands in hers. “I’m so sorry for putting you through this.”

“Hey, it’s alright. I don’t mind if my Alpha is a damsel,” she teased, Tim laughing quietly. You pretended to gag when he arched up to kiss her, getting a kick in the leg for it.

“We sure all that primal shit is out of you yet?” You slapped his leg, Tim narrowing his eyes like you’d pay for it later. “By the way, where’s my apology?”

“I don’t owe you shit,” he scoffed, making a face when you went wide eyed. “Oh, you were fine with Teddy. Clearly, Beau and Lucy were going to save the day.”

“You were turned primal. Again. Just a tad traumatic,” you said. He shook his head with a tsk.

“Well if this is how you’re going to be, I’m revoking your badass title and giving it to Emily. I mean, she took down a serial killer. All you do is get kidnapped,” he smirked.

“I spoke in code that there was a bomb under a car!”

“She stopped a serial killer. An untrained seventeen year old girl. You’re never going to win.”

“Hun,” Lucy smirked. “Emily told us everything. She hit Brock with the car after he snuck up on you. You tied him up and tossed him in the backseat. You cuffed yourself and got in the trunk before you went full primal so you wouldn’t hurt her.”

“Nope, Em still gets the title over this whiner,” he said. You rolled your eyes and stood up, going to him and bending down, wrapping your arms around him. A shaky breath betrayed you, Tim’s head tilting to lean against your own. “Sh. S’alright. Lucy’s got me. Go let that hunky sheriff take care of you and make sure Em’s okay.”

“He’s busy,” you mumbled, a strong scent filling the room.

“Nah, it’s been a slow day around here actually. Pretty boring,” said Beau from the doorway. You smiled, releasing Tim as Beau walked inside the room, tucking you under his arms. “You’re just always getting saved by omegas, aren’t you, Barclay?”

“What can I say? I’m progressive like that,” he said, Beau ruffling reaching out to ruffle his hair. Tim growled quietly, Beau cocking his head. “Do that again and see what happens.”

“I’m shaking in my boots,” he said, messing it up even more, earning a louder growl. Beau grinned hard, sending strands all over the place that had Tim testing the strength of his restraints.

“I’m going to find a way to dye your hair pink, Arlen,” he gritted out, Beau finally taking pity on him.

“I’m sure you will. Lucy, give us a call if you need us. Otherwise I’ll leave your angry puppy in your hands.”

“Bye, guys,” you said, Beau leading you out of the room. You glanced through the window in the hallway, smiling as Lucy laid down beside Tim, a gentle look crossing his face while she smoothed out his hair.

“She’s got him,” said Beau, your arms wrapping around his waist, his own tucking you in tighter to his body. “I need to find a way to thank him for saving Emily.”

“He won’t accept it,” you said quietly, nudging him down the hall to give them their privacy. “He’ll probably blame himself for Brock attacking them at the rest stop in the first place.”

“Well, he’s a moron if he thinks that. Brock put a tracker on their car too,” he said, pausing at the end of the hall. “Brock is up in intensive care. I don’t know if you want to see him or if not. That’s all fine with me.”

“Brock can rot in hell. If it’s okay, I’d like to see Teddy before we go home though.” He kissed your temple and hummed, guiding you to the elevator where you traveled up to the eighth floor. It was quieter up here, Beau holding your hand as he took you past a security checkpoint. “What is this place?”

“Even criminals need medical care. When it’s too much for local jail or prison, those people go to the hospital like everyone else. Teddy’s being held back here.” You followed him closely, stopping outside a guarded room with a one way window. Teddy lay in a bed, strapped down just like Tim was, apart from the IV with a green liquid flowing into his veins.

“What are they doing?” you asked, Beau nodding when Dr. Olson came into view and slid onto a stool, patting Teddy’s arm. The two men exchanged a brief pair of words before Teddy smiled and nodded.

“Under the law, a primal Alpha is technically not in the right state of mind to be aware of their actions. Teddy guided us to his journals but his Alpha has forbidden him from speaking about anything we want to know answers to. Your mother has clammed up but Boston PD doesn’t believe she is primal. Just…batshit crazy.” Dr. Olson adjusted something on the IV, the two men chatting, laughing even as you watched. “Springs is telling her team to review the journals closely. They can’t say for sure right not but initial findings is Teddy was telling the truth.”

“Dr. Olson is trying to make him not primal,” you said. Beau hummed. “Is that even possible for an Alpha that was turned so young?”

“The doc believes so. Emily said Brock was talking about how he’d have his children back soon, how Teddy would bring you to him. But Teddy didn’t take you to Brock. We think maybe he tricked his own mind into technically complying with his Alpha’s orders by taking you but he delayed bringing you there. Same thing with the journals.”

You leaned against Beau’s arm, sighing to yourself. “How will they know if he’s no longer primal?”

“Blood test, same as Tim.” He pulled you in front of himself, arms wrapped around your shoulders. “You don’t have to have anything to do with Teddy anymore if you don’t want to. This can be it. Or you can have more. You don’t have to decide anything right now.”

“Jenny Hoyt should be given this same course of treatment,” you said. Beau nodded, kissing the top of your head. “Do we know how either of them were turned?”

“Teddy’s journals indicate Jenny went on a solo camping trip in Washington when she’d just finished the police academy. She twisted her ankle and another older hiker helped her for the night. We believe Jenny was targeted. Brock was one of her instructors at the academy apparently. He likely drugged her, injected her when she was passed out and she woke up none the wiser that she had a new Alpha. It would have been before her first heat.”

“Her stabbing Tim in the gut was most likely her attempt to follow the order but still save him. She could have shot him in the head if she actually wanted him dead,” you said, closing your eyes. “And I busted her leg and nearly bashed her skull in.”

“If this works, I think Hoyt will be thanking you for that broken leg for the rest of her life. Teddy was getting older. Hunter was his new killer and I expect Jenny was about to start being told to do that too.” He squeezed you tight when you gripped his arms, lowering your head. “Primal Alphas haven’t been a thing for centuries and using them to control other Alphas to commit murder opens a can of worms I won’t even pretend to understand.”

“Teddy’s probably going to jail for the rest of his life when he was a victim too,” you said quietly. “It’s not fair.”

“Let’s see if we can get the primal out of his system first. If we can do that, Carla’s a hell of an attorney. Maybe we can do something.” You hummed, turning around in his hold. “Let’s get you home, ‘mega.”

“Beau. Don’t you have to go back to work?” you asked a few hours later at your townhouse, stepping out of your bedroom in a pair of pajama shorts and his hoodie you’d stolen back in Boston. He looked up from where he was unpacking a box of plates in the kitchen, freezing in place while you shook out your damp hair. You looked down and back up. “What?”

“Just uh, seeing you in my clothes and uh…” He wasn’t shy about raking his eyes up your bare legs, biting his bottom lip. A noise from the front hall had you both turning your heads, Emily coming into view with her hands on her hips. “Need help, honey?”

“I need you to stop being so horny on main.” He scoffed, Beau crossing his arms while you stifled your life. “Give me your car keys.”

“Uh, what?” he asked. She held out her hand, making grabby hands. “Technically these are keys to a Helena PD car-”

“Go make out with your girlfriend,” she said, stalking over and taking them off the counter, spinning around quickly.

“Emily,” you said, jogging over quickly, catching her arm. “You had a long day. I think your dad wants to keep an eye on you. He’ll behave, I promise.”

Just then the front door of your new townhouse burst open, Tim carrying Lucy inside, their lips locked as he fumbled with the door. Emily held out her hand, making a face. “Well hey there! If it ain’t the other horny on main couple.”

Tim nearly dropped Lucy, the two of them scrambling apart as Emily crossed her arms, looking back at her father.

“H-Hey guys,” said Lucy, tucking her hair behind her ear, Tim’s face sporting a nice pink blush.

“Why are you people here?” he asked, giving you a long glare. You shot it right back, flipping him off.

“I live here, jackass. Do we have to have the talk about making out in common areas again?” you asked, Tim rolling his eyes.

“We’ll come back later,” said Lucy, dragging Tim by the hand by the door. “Six? We can all have dinner?”

“Sounds great,” said Emily, walking past and shaking her head at Tim. “I still expect to see you at therapy today, Barclay.”

“That’s in like twenty minutes,” he scoffed, Emily shrugging and heading out the door. “Emily. Emily whatever your middle name is Arlen!”

“It’s Louella and you promised me, Barclay. Get horny on your own time,” she called back, Tim’s eye twitching as Lucy laughed beside him.

“That little shithead,” he grumbled, Lucy patting his back. “But we were-”

“Go to therapy,” she murmured in his ear. “I’ll wait in the parking lot for you, okay?”

“Alright,” he mumbled, Lucy spinning him around, walking him out the door. “Later guys.”

You locked the door after them, Beau padding over on bare feet and a smile. “Remind me again why I didn’t just move in with you?”

“Because we said we’d be adults about the whole situation and re-evaluate in a few months. You haven’t had a steady home in nearly a year and the past month has been a lot on top of the whole mate thing on top of the whole I have a teenager thing and we both need to figure out dating with that and-”

“Sh,” you said, pressing a finger to his lips. “We have the place to ourselves. Let’s enjoy it, hm?”

“Well when you put it like that, what are we waiting for?”

Beau, Emily and Lucy left late that night after a long dinner, leaving you and Tim to do a bit more unpacking around the place. It was past ten when you were in your room reading, a light knock on the door. “S’open.”

The door cracked, Tim standing there in a pair of black joggers and nothing else. You frowned at the bruises covering his abdomen, Tim holding up a tube of cream and bandage.

“Can you uh, change my bandage?” You hummed, washing up in your bathroom as he sat on your bed cross legged, fisting his shirt in his hands. You unpeeled the bandage by his shoulder, a long red slice there from a knife if you had to guess. There were no stitches at least so it couldn’t have been deep.

You worked quickly, discarding the old and putting on the new, patting his back gently when you finished. You washed up and then walked around to the other side, helping him put his t shirt on.

“All set,” you said, ruffling his damp hair. He nodded, head lowering. The room suddenly smelled like fresh rain and you let out a deep breath before crawling up onto the bed behind him. He got up, walking quietly to the door when you sat up. “Why don’t you ever let me see you cry?”

“Don’t take it personally. I don’t like to let anyone see me upset,” he said quietly.

“How many times have I sobbed all over you? When my dog died when I was a kid? When my first boyfriend broke my heart? When I thought my parents were getting a divorce? When I got laid off? When I blamed myself for you and Mika breaking up cause I thought she didn’t like me? If you want to be alone, okay. But you don’t have to be. I know I’ve said it more than once over the years but-” You shut up when he turned and plopped down on the bed, wrapping his arms around your hips and burrowing his face in your thigh.

“I broke up with Mika because she didn’t like you. She cheated on me a few times but it was finally over when she was real nasty when I said we had to delay our date so I could pick you up from a frat party.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that?” you said, letting him hide his face. He shrugged in response, breathing shakily. “Tim-”

“If she couldn’t wait thirty minutes so I could make sure no one took advantage of you, then she could get the fuck out of my life.” You bent down and wrapped your arms around his shoulders and back, closing your eyes. He shivered, squeezing you tighter. “I’m sorry I didn’t do a better job of protecting you. Teddy picked me to be that person for you and I screwed up so many times.”

You pushed him off of you, Tim laying back on the bed, staring up with a red face, like you’d just slapped him. You peered down over him, getting right in his face. “Stop. Just stop with this bullshit. It’s me. Just say what you’re scared to say. I know that’s not what you really are trying to say so just for once, trust me.”

He closed his eyes, his face scrunching up. “My dad hurt your dad. He destroyed Teddy’s life. Brock turned me so I’d attack Emily. Beau could never forgive me for that. He’d kill me. Back in Boston I believed you when you said you’d always be there for me but after today? I’m scared you’ll blame me for everything.”

“Why on earth would I blame you?” you asked, eyebrows sky high.

“Because Brock told me you would before he turned me and I have a very hard time getting the shit that man says to me out of my head,” he said, sitting upright, putting his back to you. “The man is a serial killer that gets his kicks by torturing omegas. He psychologically, physically abused me everyday for eighteen years. I thought I was better, that he didn’t affect me anymore but I’m still scared of that old man. He got the jump on me because I got scared today. I’m an Alpha like he is. What if I’m as fucked up as he is deep down?”

You scooted over to him, wrapping your arms under his arms and around his broad chest, legs going around his waist before you dropped your head to the space between his shoulder blades.

“I’m a Barclay too. Am I fucked up?” You inhaled his scent, still rain like, still tense.

“You’re not like me,” he said quietly. “You’re normal.”

“Brock hurt omegas. You protect them. You’re developing quite a collection of them in your life that will gladly tell you how much of a monster you are not.” You nuzzled his back, his hands grasping your forearms. “Do you remember the first time I stayed over your apartment? How awkward we both were? We’d only met twice before that and suddenly my dad drops me off at your door for two days because their friend bailed on watching me for a weekend.”

“I remember,” he said softly. “You lost all that bravado and turned into another person. I had no idea how to take care of a kid.”

“You could have hurt me. But by the end of that first night, we were best buds.”

“What’s your point?”

“You didn’t want me. You didn’t want me more than anything in your life because I’d just be another person to hurt you. Yet here we are, twenty years later. Your annoying, brat, kid sister and my stubborn as hell, gentle, kind, good big brother. An Alpha that bears his omega’s mark. So go ahead and freak out because your family will be there when you do.” You rested your chin on his shoulder, the rain scent fading, replace with flowery vanilla.

“I made a standing appointment with that therapist. Tuesdays at 3,” he said quietly, resting his head against yours. “Thanks for making me go with Em.”

“FIgured it wouldn’t be so scary if you went with her at first,” you said.

“Would you come to my session sometimes?”

“Of course,” you said, lifting your head up, kissing his cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he whispered, kissing your temple.

“Sleepover tonight?” you asked. He groaned but plopped down on his side, taking you with him. “Too late. You’re getting cuddles.”

“Jokes on you, I always liked your cuddles,” he said. You squeezed him tight, Tim wincing. “Easy there Sarah Connor. I was in a fight today you know.”

“A man in his seventies hit you with a crowbar and stabbed you one little time. I mean honestly, Timothy, you should have kicked his ass.”

“He hit me in the back of the head ya little fucker.”

“Just saying, I got kidnapped today and talked my way out of it. You got your ass handed to you by a man that lives in an assisted living facility.” He sat up, twisting around to stare down at you. You sighed, holding up your hands. “Tim, it was a joke. I’m sor-”

“It’s not that. You’re right. Brock lived in a facility but today, he swung that crowbar hard. Way harder than a seventy something year old should be.” You sat up along with him, pursing your lips. “My father’s a bastard. Why would he voluntarily live in a place like that?”

“Access to drugs? I know to turn an Alpha primal you need to be injected with another Primal Alpha’s saliva.”

“But is Brock primal?” he asked, reaching across you to grab your phone from the nightstand. “I thought they said he wasn’t.”

“He’s not,” you said, Tim starting to text on your phone as you rested your chin in your hand, elbow against your knee. “So how does a normal Alpha make other Alpha’s primal…”

Tim lowered the phone, a stupid grin growing on his face. You raised your eyebrows, Tim smirking. “You don’t know? For once I’m the one that paid attention in biology class?”

“First off, you sucked ass at biology. Second, I have read every book, paper, and journal on going primal that Dr. Olson could find. There’s nothing in there about this.”

“Because it wouldn't be,” he said. He smiled, watching you give him a bitch face. “This feels good. Is this what it’s like being a know it all all the time?”

“I’ll tell Lucy you’re being mean to me,” you said, reaching for the phone, Tim catching your wrists in one hand and keeping you away from it.

“I’m always mean to you, it’s how we say we love each other,” he said, smiling when you growled. “You going to keep being a brat or let me explain?”

“You’re the one being a brat,” you grumbled, rolling your eyes at him. “Fine. What does the old man know that I don’t?”

He gently smacked you in the face with your own hands before dropping them, tossing your phone back in your lap.

“Up until a few hundred years ago, pack leaders were a big deal. They were always naturally chosen based on physicality, birth order, all that crap. Then as we got a little more aware of things, society decided we no longer needed pack leaders and the practice of having them fell out and eventually they were banned. But, genetically, our bodies can still be pack leaders. Brock comes from a very strong line of Alphas and he was an only child. He has those genetic details that make him a pack leader. I think he activated them and after doing that-”

“A pack leader can make pack members go primal by instructing them to go after an omega but not allowing them to physically go get the omega,” you said. Tim hummed. “Teddy was his first turn, right? Let’s assume Hunter and Jenny were turned from Teddy’s saliva. How’d Brock turn Teddy when Teddy wasn’t in his pack?”

“Same reason…” He sighed, closing his eyes. “It’s the same reason…”

“Same reason you started to smell like Beau a bit after meeting him. The whole you can indoctrinate pack members when you form a bond.” Tim didn’t speak, only inhaled deeply. “You both were so protective of me, it was only natural you formed that brotherly bond.”

“I wouldn’t say I’m ready to call him…that but same principle applies. Brock formed that older sibling relationship with Teddy. Didn’t you used to say your grandpa was always so confusing cause he was sweet to you and a dick to your dad?”

“They did fight a lot when my dad was young,” you said. “So Brock found him when he was young and vulnerable?”

“Probably. We should ask Teddy how Brock got to him if that primal cure stuff ends up working.” He flopped back down on the bed, letting out a long sigh. You finished off a text to Beau with your theory, getting a quick response back he’d look into it in the morning. After tossing your phone aside, Tim rolled over, jetpacking you and letting out a small yawn. “Can I ask you a question about Lucy?”

“What’s up? I mean we were friends in college but fell out of touch when we graduated so we’re still getting to know each other again.”

“I know that. Just…if my life hadn’t been on the line, do you think she would have gone for me?” he asked quietly.

“Do you remember that week you went to California for some urban tactical training seminar? You got to play paintball for a week in the woods?” you asked.

“If you mean the week I went to a very selective stealth rescue training activity, then yes.”

“Like I said, paintball in the woods.” You could feel his eye roll behind you as you hummed. “Well, I threw a little girls only party at our place that week. And my friends may have seen your picture on the walls.”

“Lucy thought I was hot?” he asked, a glimmer of hope in his voice.

“All of them did but I kept catching Lucy smelling your blanket. She kept saying she was just cold and that her nose was but if I think about it, I think you scent-marked her without being there. She broke up with her boyfriend like three days later and we all thought she was going to marry him. So. Do with that what you will.”

“Doesn’t mean she likes me, just my scent.” You groaned, slapping his behind. “Ow!”

“Timothy, I know you’re revolting and a dickhead but you really have no idea how good of a guy you are. Trust me, as an omega woman, there are Alpha men that treat us like we should be grateful for the chance to carry their pups. Then there’s a guy like you. We like when guys stick up for us. But you, you’re the guy that makes us feel supported when we stick up for ourselves. I’m half your size and you have never, ever, made me feel weak or like I can’t protect myself. You did a pretty good job of raising yourself and me. Be proud of that.”

“I’m trying to,” he said quietly, his breathing slowing behind you. “Y/N.”

“Mhm?”

“Want to watch something scary?”

“But I have to stare at your face everyday already. Don’t I suffer enough?” He squeezed you tight, rolling straight off the bed with you, your feet off the ground. “I’m in danger, aren’t I.”

“You have five seconds to say something sweet or we’re watching The Strangers.”

“No! That gave me nightmares,” you said as he carried you out of the room and down the hall. “Um…”

“You were literally just nice to me. How is it this difficult?” He stopped in front of the couch, holding you over it. “Three seconds.”

“Uh.”

“Two.”

“Uh.”

“One,” he said, his arms holding you out further. You looked over your shoulder at him, his gaze unreadable. “You giving up?”

“Can we watch Alien?” you asked, jutting out your bottom lip, putting on your puppy dog eyes. “Please? I get murder and you get Sigourney?”

He groaned, dropping you to the cushions and going to stand under the TV, pulling out the DVD. “Someday that’s not gonna work on me.”

“Sure, sure. Same day your crush on her stops too I bet.” He flopped down beside you after a moment, tossing you the remote. “Ready?”

“Whenever you’re ready, kiddo.”

Three Weeks Later

“Father,” Emily proclaimed when you got out of the rental car at his parents place in Houston. You spun around, Emily storming away from the second rental car behind you that Tim and Lucy were exiting. “That was cruel and unusual punishment forcing me to ride with them from the airport.”

“Oh, they aren’t that bad,” he said, smirking as Lucy grabbed Tim’s waist and pushed him back against the side of the car, the pair sharing an intense kiss. You watched them with a raised eyebrow, their kiss turning PG-13 and then some fast. “Uh…”

“I think they finally mated a few days ago,” you mumbled, getting out a backpack, handing it to Emily.

“Great. Now I have four of you randy fuckers,” she grumbled, Beau flicking her ear. “Hey!”

“Your grandmother hears that language and she’ll give you a time out.” She rolled her eyes. “Go ahead and try her.”

“I’m so glad I’m staying with mom tonight,” she mumbled, trekking up to the door. “No one wants to see your boner, Barclay!”

You and Beau shared a grin when he and Lucy broke apart, Tim coughing as he walked farther down the driveway to adjust himself.

“I’m so happy we have a sassy child to torment them with,” you said, laughing to yourself.

“We have a sassy child, eh?” He said, setting down his carry on. Your cheeks heated, Beau smirking and stroking his thumb over the crest of it.

“I-I didn’t mean…there’s no way I’d ever try to replace Carla or be Emily’s…” you trailed off, Beau tilting your chin upwards.

“Emily’s old enough to understand that you’re a permanent member of this family. Now, I’ll trust my two ladies to figure out what they want that relationship to be but, and you didn’t hear this from me, a certain sassy child despite her constant digs on the grown ups, would greatly enjoy another maternal figure in her life. If that’s something you’re okay with.”

“Really?” He hummed. “But she already has a mother.”

“She hasn’t quite forgiven Carla for what happened last year with the camp and her former stepfather. I don’t know that she’ll ever forgive her. Her stepdad let her down and put himself first whereas you? You saved her dad. She all the shit she gives them, she adores Tim and Lucy. You don’t guilt trip her for her feelings like her mother does sometimes. She respects the respect you give her. I don’t say that to pressure you but if you want more with her, you should go for it.”

“Thanks Alpha,” you murmured so quietly only he could hear. He pulled you into his side, giving you a hug. “I don’t know that I’d be very good at it though. My own mom was never the most maternal and that was before I found out she was a psychopath.”

“I think you ought to give yourself more credit. All you gotta do is love ‘em and protect ‘em and you got plenty of experience with that,” he said, Tim and Lucy sharing a laugh from the end of their car. “Now that I’m about to introduce you to the Arlen clan and be interrogated by them, I’m realizing we probably should have had a few more grown up discussions about certain things.”

“Hm, well I’ve never met a boys family before so this will all be new to me,” you said, Beau’s hand gripping your waist. “While I’d love to say it’s none of their business, if we get questioned, marriage eventually and perhaps a pup down the road?”

“I always wanted to give Emily a sibling,” he whispered, brushing his lips over yours. “And what do you do for work, Mrs. Arlen?”

You smacked his chest, Beau grinning back at you. “I got a job with Dr. Olson at the university hospital overseeing-”

“You got the job?” He picked you straight up off the ground, squishing you tight, a round of giggles escaping you. “When did you find out?”

“When we landed. I’m nervous but excited,” you said, Beau grinning. “It’s a boring office job, Beau.”

“Um, excuse me but aren’t you getting a serious pay bump, it’s not full time and you get to go find funding for oh, an actual cure to Primal? Yeah, just a wee little old office job.”

“Exactly,” you hummed, Beau pressing his lips to yours.

“No body wants to see that nastiness,” said Tim, Beau flipping him off without breaking away.

“Boys,” you and Lucy sighed, Beau reluctantly peeling away from you. You took your backpack and carry on, waiting a beat before you followed Beau up the drive to the the front door, hands interlaced.

“Ma, we’re here!” He called as you stepped inside the foyer area, Beau telling you to leave your bags in the adjacent dining room for now.

“I took that you were based on Emily devouring my gingerbread cookies in the kitchen,” said a gentle voice. A shorter woman with light brown hair rounded a corner, wearing a big smile. “Oh are these the girls? You boys have outdone yourselves.”

“Hi,” you said, setting your backpack down. “I’m Y/N and this is Lucy, my brother’s girlfriend.”

“I know who you two are. I’m Bridget,” she said, all smiles, wrapping you both up in hugs, Lucy giving you a look over her shoulder during hers. She lingered with yours, leaning back with a soft look. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so smitten.”

“Literally right here, ma,” said Beau behind you, Bridget rolling her eyes.

“Mhm,” she hummed, ignoring him before grinning over at Tim. “Oh and you must be Timothy!”

“Tim’s fine,” he said with a brief smile, Bridget wrapping him up in a big hug.

“Well I know you kids had a long flight. Beau, Tim and Lucy are in Declan’s old room and I have you and Y/N in yours. Why don’t you show them around and when you kids are all set, we’ll head over to Declan’s for dinner,” she said.

Five hours later you were back at Beau’s parents after an easy going dinner at his older brother’s place nearby. You and Lucy helped prepare the dining room table in your pajamas for Thanksgiving the next day while the guys helped his parents in the kitchen.

“Okay we’re all set. What next?” you asked rounding the corner of the kitchen.

“Time for a drink,” said Jock, Beau’s father, ushering you and Lucy to take a seat at the kitchen island. He mixed you both old fashioned’s as you watched Beau mash a giant pot of cooked potatoes while Tim sprinkled marshmallows over mashed sweet potatoes in a casserole dish. “The girls finished their tasks boys. Just waiting on you is all I’m saying.”

“Perfection cannot be rushed,” said Tim, carefully rearranging the marshmallows. Beau tried to smack his elbow to throw him off but Tim dodged it, a loud whistle coming from Jock.

“Beau, stop being a little shit and let him finish. I’ve been dreaming of that casserole ever since Y/N said Tim offered to make it.”

“My sister does not have the refined palate some of us with taste do,” said Tim, popping one last one in. He spun around with a grin. “More for us.”

“Last time I ate your magic potato casserole I spent the night throwing up,” you said.

“That was from eating undercooked chicken, not my wonderful creation. She never appreciates my cooking,” he said.

“Yes I do, just not your nasty casserole,” you said, Lucy shushing you. “Oh, don’t take his side.”

“But his food is yummy,” she said, giving him a soft look. “I am looking forward to it tomorrow.”

“Y’all crazies can have it,” you said, smiling when a slice of chocolate pie was set down in front of you and Lucy each by Bridget. “Beau, have I mentioned how much I love your parents yet?”

“We’re just glad to have a noisy house again,” she said, cutting up a slice for Tim and handing it to him after he set the casserole in the fridge. “Oh! Let me get the whip cream. I know that’s your favorite, Tim.”

She grabbed the can, squirting a big helping on top for him before ushering him over next to Lucy.

“Annnnnd done,” said Beau, holding out the pot ready to be heated tomorrow. “Pie please, mother.”

“He always did have a sweet tooth,” said Jock, setting a drink down for Tim as Beau got his plate and hopped up on the counter, sitting cross legged. Bridget excused herself as the four of you devoured your slices and started to eat straight out of the tin, Bridget returning with three white boxes.

“So I’m sure you noticed we already have the tree and stockings up. We like to decorate a little ahead of time,” she said, handing a box to each of you apart from Beau. “These are for all of you.”

You set your fork down and opened the box, smiling as you pulled out a baby blue stocking with a doe on it and your name stitched into the top.

You glanced to the right, Lucy holding up a light green one, also with a doe, albeit in a different position. You peaked around her, Tim holding a rich dark green with a large stag wearing a scarf. He thumbed over his name, smiling to himself.

“Okay, go hang up your stockings on the mantle and I’ll find you more desserts you can devour,” she said, shooing you off. You ducked into the next room over, hanging yours besides Beau’s navy blue with stars and a stag.

“Here’s good,” he said, patting a spot next to your name, Tim tucking his up there along with Lucy’s.

“Why’d your mom make us these?” he asked quietly, Beau cocking his head. “And are being so nice? Did you ask them to be nice?”

You and Lucy shared a sad look behind his back, Beau clasping Tim on the shoulder.

“Timothy,” he sighed. “Those people are going to give you weekly phone calls from now on and you’re going to answer. You’re going to go to holidays and family reunions and on big vacations. Mom will get you a cake every year on your birthday no matter where you are and dad will come up every spring to watch you in your first intramural baseball game of the year. Don’t resist it. It’ll be a good thing, I promise.”

“But why?” he asked quietly, Lucy closing her eyes, your arms wrapping around her.

“Trust me?” Tim sighed, nodding once. “Good. Now take a seat people. Time for the annual Arlen watch of Trains, Planes and Automobiles.”

Three Weeks Later

“Hey,” you said, bumping into Tim as you were walking out of the front door of your townhouse. “I’m spending the night at Beau’s so you have the place to yourself.”

“I know, Beau gave me the heads up as I was headed out.” You adjusted your overnight bag, Tim tossing his backpack through the open door. “You got a sec?”

You followed him back inside, closing the door behind you to keep out the winter chill. He kicked off his snow boots and set them in the tray, lazily hanging his coat and beanie up on the rack. He ran a hand through his fluffy hair, the strands sticking up.

“You need a haircut,” you said, Tim rolling his eyes.

“I’ve only been a wee bit busy lately,” he said, crossing his arms as he leaned against the wall. He looked you up and down, your eyebrow raising.

“Spit it out, Barclay. I got a handsome man making me a home cooked meal in a childless house to get to.”

“I wanted to give you a Christmas present early,” he said.

“Are you dying?” He scoffed. “Oh come on, you never give me gifts early. You’re 45 so I mean you could be dying. You would tell me if you’re dying, right? If you are hiding-”

He covered your mouth with his hand, chuckling to himself. He slid it away when you stopped talking, a light flush to his cheeks. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a envelope carefully, handing it to you.

You slowly opened it, wide eyed as you pulled out a card.

World’s Best Aunt!

Your eyes flickered up to him, a stupidly shy smile on his face. “You’re gonna…”

“Be a dad? Yup. That is a thing that will be happening next year,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Are we happy about this?” you asked gently, Tim nodding fiercely, a grin breaking out over your own face.

“I’m fucking terrified. But happy. Lucy told me a few days ago and she’s only a month in but she wanted to tell you and Beau. I figured-” You wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing his warm cheek.

“You’re going to make an amazing father,” you said, Tim picking you up and hugging you tight. “And when you start to freak out, remember you guys aren’t doing this alone.”

“I know,” he mumbled, setting you down. “It was a little sooner than we were expecting but nothing about our relationship is normal so why start now.”

“You going to marry her?” He rolled his eyes with a smile.

“I was hoping you could help me pick out a ring before we head down to Jock & Bridget’s for Christmas. Lucy’s folks will be there too and then they’re making plans to move out here to be closer to us in the spring and Beau said he’d abuse his power as sheriff to get us a wedding venue in a few months before she starts to show and why are you smiling at me like that?”

“Because you’re happy.” You squeezed him tight, Tim’s scent relaxed and cozy. “So Lucy’s moving in here, right? Her place is so small and this is three bedroom so you got room for a nursery and an office-”

“Uh, yes Lucy will move in, after the holidays most likely. But we got time for all that,” he said, tilting his head. “I don’t want you to move out. You and Beau are taking things slow and Lucy and I fully respect that.”

You looked up at him, smiling softly. “How many nights a week do I even sleep here, Tim?”

“Okay but I don’t want you to think I’m pushing you out the door to Beau.”

“Anyone ever tell you that you worry too much?” He sighed, your hand clasping his. “I will move out when I am good and ready. So. Why don’t you run to the grocery store, make Lucy dinner, and talk about baby names tonight?”

“Alright, go be with your boyfriend,” he said, tugging on your braid. “But when you two start getting serious, that boy better ask my permission if he wants to marry you.”

“Are you asking Lucy’s dad?”

“I don’t need to. She’s her own woman,” he said, crossing his arms.

“I see, I see,” you said, nodding your head with a hum. “But Beau needs permission.”

“I ain’t letting any schmuck marry you,” he said, lifting his chin. You smiled, shaking your head. “I’m serious. I need to know that boy’s got good values.”

“You’re teasing me, aren’t you.” He put a hand to his chest in shock, feigning innocence. “I can’t wait until you have a child you can annoy instead of me.”

“It’s cute you think that will save you.”

“Later, Timothy,” you said, flipping him off as you opened the door. “Love you.”

“Love you too. Careful driving.”

Ten minutes later you were stepping into Beau’s house, kicking the snow off on the front rug. It smelled like sugar cookies and something delectable in the warm house.

“I’m here!” you called, hanging up your coat and boots, carrying your overnight bag on your shoulder and ditching it in it’s usual spot by the bottom of the stairs. Beau had the fireplace going and through the back windows fat, fluffy flakes fell down against the black sky.

“I hope you’re hungry,” he said. You spun around to spot him working over the stove in a dark green flannel and long white sleeve henley, the sleeves pushed up on both. You came up behind him, ducking your head under his arm, inhaling deeply.

“Fuck, that smells so good.” He chuckled, kissing the top of your head before you pulled away. You went to the table where an unopened bottle of wine and expensive bourbon sat. “What’s the occasion?”

“The occasion is Emily is at a sleepover tonight and Tim and Lucy have graciously offered to take her Christmas shopping tomorrow and let her spend the night at your place with them. We got two whole nights to ourselves.”

“How’d you swing that?” you asked, opening the bourbon, pouring a glass for each of you.

“They did offer honestly. But they’ve been bugging me about wanting to work a case together. I’ve refused cause of their relationship but I said I’d give them a test run and if they work well, I’ll consider doing it again. Otherwise I’ll delegate them back to their respective office corners.”

“Have you picked out a case yet?” you asked, handing him his glass before you sat up on the counter nearby with your own. His eyes raked down your body, taking in your cream sweater, maroon skirt, and lingering on your black tight coated legs.

“I’ll see what comes across the desk next week. I’d like to push them both a bit, see what they’re made of.” He stirred the creamy sauce in the pan before him, using a smaller spoon to taste test.

“I’m sure they can handle it,” you said, taking a sip of the smooth bourbon. “Tim tell you anything particular today?”

“He did,” he said, turning a burner on low, quickly checking the oven. “Twenty minutes and dinner will be all set.”

He picked up his glass and hummed around the lip, stepping over in front of you. “He’ll make a good father and husband.”

“I know he will,” you said. He pressed forward, your legs widening before wrapping loosely around his hips. “Funny they were going to take it slow and a month after sealing their bond they got their whole lives planned out.”

“Is my omega jealous?” he teased, your head quickly shaking. He chuckled, setting his glass down before resting his palms on either side of your thighs, leaning in close. “I guarantee the only reason those two are already expecting a pup is because they were so randy, they couldn’t remember to use protection. An Alpha’s brain gets all…twitchy when they smell their omega in heat.”

“This is true,” you said, Beau smirking. “You think we’ll have that kind of…reaction my next heat?”

“I have that kind of reaction with you every time we’re together.” Knuckles grazed over the top of your leg, trailing inwards before retreating away. You inhaled deeply, Beau’s green eyes locked onto the way you bit your bottom lip. “Talk to me, ‘mega. What’s going through your head?”

You glanced down to your lap, a gentle hand tilting your chin upwards to face him again. His eyes were gentle, so full of care. You swallowed, placing your hand over his in your lap.

“Tim and Lucy are moving a million miles an hour even when they wanted to go slow.” He didn’t speak, didn’t interject as you gathered your thoughts. And your heart fell for him a little more for him for that. “I know we’ve talked, about all the big stuff. Kids and marriage and I love how mature you are for that and how you’ll give me whatever I want. But dammit Beau, you’re so damn considerate of me all the time. I need you to take for once.”

“Alright. Here’s what’ll happen,” he murmured, pressing his lips to under your jaw. “I’m going to feed you a magnificent dinner. I’m going to fuck you raw in front of that fireplace for hours until we both fall asleep. In the morning you’ll take a shower while I go get your favorite coffee and pastry. I’m going to hold you while we watch Christmas movies on the couch and go for a few more rounds. By the time we’ve worked up an appetite, I’ll be taking you out to dinner at Blackstone’s where you will be wearing the little black number I may have stolen from your closet and is currently hiding in the back of mine. When we finish, I’m going to bring you back home where I will be biting into that bonding gland all over again while you squeeze my knot bare.”

He suckled over your mark, sending chills down your spine.

“You know what happens when an Alpha does that?” he purred.

“Triggers a heat and a rut,” you breathed out, closing your eyes.

“Now tell me if you want that and I’ll gladly do it. But if you’re not sure yet, then we’ll wait.”

“Beau-”

“You were on the run for a year. You deserve to pick what you want and when you want it. If that means I’m moving slow, then I’m moving slow, and you’ll have to accept that about me.”

“Why don’t you demand more? Why are giving me all the control here?” you whispered. He lifted his head, staring you dead on.

“I’m respecting you, not giving you control.” Your breath stayed caught in your through, Beau leaning his forehead against yous. “Sarah Connor this shit, omega. Don’t be scared and tell me.”

“Your idea for next few days sounded pretty good,” you mumbled against his lips.

“If I do that last bit, odds are Emily gets a sibling,” he whispered, hand cupping the back of your neck, thumbing your mark.

“I didn’t take my birth control this morning.” He stilled, your hand pressing against his chest. “I don’t want to use condoms anymore either.”

“What else do you want,” he breathed out, his heart hammering in his chest.

“You.”

“You got me,” he said, pressing your lips together, soft and slow, lingering together. His heart calmed under you, arm wrapping around your back to pull your body flush to his. “Always.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Six Months Later

Beau POV

“For the love of god tell me why we agreed to this shit,” Tim said beside me. Lucy and Y/N were sitting on the back porch with Emily while Tim and I tried to wrangle an arch made of green and gold colored balloons.

“Because when your little girl graduates from high school, if she wants an obnoxious ballon arch tunnel entrance, you give it to her,” I said, Tim grumbling from the other end as we adjusted the ground anchors. “You’ll learn these things someday.”

“Yeah well my little girl ain’t getting balloon arches like her spoiled cousin,” he grumbled, wiping sweat off his brow. He glanced over at Lucy who was holding Emily’s hand over her stomach, all three girls giggling. He shared a quick glance at me, catching my smirk, before rolling his eyes. “Fine. I’m wrapped around that girl's finger and she ain’t even born yet. You’re the same way you know.”

“Hey, I don’t know if I have another girl coming.”

“Emily told me.” I groaned, Tim’s eyes widening. “You bought that? It’s actually a girl?”

“Keep your mouth shut,” I said as I walked over to him, pulling him around to the front of the house. “We were going to do a little cake later tonight with a gender reveal. Act surprised.”

“I will, I will,” he said, holding up his hands. We walked into the open garage, Tim going to the beer fridge along the back wall and pulling two out. He handed one to me before cracking his open. “So we’re going to have two little girls around here soon. We’re both screwed.”

“Oh for sure. But hey, we’ll be able to have a joint graduation party for them and being a girl dad is kind of amazingly life changing,” I said, Tim giving me a high five as we chuckled. “I uh, heard you’re not pressing charges against Jenny Hoyt.”

“And?” he said, taking a long drag from his bottle. I shrugged. “Her bloodwork shows she’s no longer Primal, she told the investigators everything about Brock turning her when she was younger, the orders he gave her, attacking me. She’s a victim and her life’s hard enough without me sending her to jail. I never want to see her again but when she gets out of rehab for that leg, she should be able to start over again somewhere. You got a problem with that?”

“Nope.” I set my beer down after a sip, picking up a pile of plastic table cloths stacked on top of folding chairs. “Your daughter will be lucky to have a good man for a father.”

He didn’t say anything, only popped his beer on top of my tool bench and picked up four chairs at once. We carried them to the back, making a few more trips to get everything into the large tent set up out there.

“Boys,” Y/N called, walking over on bare feet across the grass. “Take a break. We called in reinforcements.”

“We only got a few hours before the party starts,” I said, Y/N putting her hand on her hip, the bottom of her shirt riding up around the swell of her belly.

“Exactly. A long ass party where you two will be drinking, cooking and I’m totally sure not getting competitive with a bunch of highschoolers when they decide to play volleyball over there. Sit your butts down in the shade for a few.”

“But-” She crossed her arms, her shirt riding up even more, my eyes drawn downwards towards it.

“You have a huge ass family sitting in hotel rooms and Air B&B’s right now. They can help. I already talked to your mom and people will be here within thirty to help. You can boss them around when they get here but until then, sit down.”

“I for one know better than to argue with a pregnant woman,” said Tim, holding up his hands as he slipped past, gently rubbing her belly as he went. “Tell your momma to take it easy on your pops, little nugget.”

“And you?” she asked when we were alone, my hand reaching for hers.

“Technically I’m in the shade,” I said, pointing to the tent above. She narrowed her eyes, pushing me to sit down in a folding chair. “Am I getting a repeat of my private bachelor party?”

“Later if you behave for me right now,” she said. I kicked my feet up on the table and put my hands behind my head, Y/N smiling before sitting in the spot next to me, throwing her feet into my lap. I rubbed them gently, her eyes fluttering closed. “If my feet feel like this at six months, I can’t imagine how it’ll be when I’m ready to pop.”

“We’ll have to get you some easy slip on shoes for the house, give you a bit more support.” I worked her sore feet for a few minutes, Y/N letting her eyes open after a bit. “Remember to take some breaks and go cool off in the house today. You keep doting on Lucy and you’ll push yourself too far.”

“So we should get our husbands to dote on us?” she teased. “Yes, yes that’s an excellent idea.”

We both turned when we heard Emily shriek, Tim instantly by her side, holding her arm. Y/N pulled her phone out of her pocket a few moments later, smirking at her screen.

“Lucy says she got stung by a bee,” she said, shoving it away as Tim went inside with Emily.

“Girls,” I said with a tsk, Y/N slapping my arm playfully. “Don’t get me wrong. I love girls but y’all are silly.”

“It’s a good thing we’re having a girl then,” she said, my smile growing. “But we are not buying a bunch of girlie shit.”

“I’m not much of one for pink for girls, blue for boys,” I said, Y/N grinning. “Oh was that a test?”

“No but I like the sentiment. I totally bought the cutest little blue onesie with yellow elephants on it yesterday and I don’t care at all if it was in the boys section.”

“We got to raise a badass after all and there’s nothing more hardcore than yellow elephants,” I teased. She cocked her head, sliding her sunglasses down over her eyes before getting to her feet. “Where you going?”

“Oh, I was just thinking there’s no way on earth you don’t know how good you look sitting there in that backwards baseball cap and sunglasses.”

“No, I don’t. Tell me more,” I said, pulling my feet down and resting my chin in my hands, grinning up at her.

“I think you ought to go…lay down for a few minutes. Get your…rest,” she said, voice low, a hint of roughness to it.

“You mean you want to go…”

“Yes, Beau,” she said, tickling my bonding gland for a split second, making sparks shoot through my body. She pulled away too fast though and was stepping away. “I’ll be waiting.”

She’d barely gotten a step away before I was out of my chair, following in her footsteps. Less than a minute later we were upstairs, Tim and Emily thankfully having retreated outside to continue decorating.

Y/N locked the bedroom door after herself, spinning around with a smile as she pushed me to lay back on the bed. “You know, Omega, we got ten minutes at most before we need to go back.”

“Mr. Arlen, you need to learn to delegate,” she said, pulling her shirt off of her head and shoving her loose running shorts down to the ground. Her underwear went with it and with a quick reach behind her back, she was dropping her bra on top of the pile at her feet. “But if you want to be put to work, I have some ideas.”

I sat up on my elbows, eyes drifting up as Y/N crawled over top of me, straddling my hips and staring downwards. I swallowed when she reached between us to undo my belt and with one helpful shove, my shorts and boxers were at my knees, my feet working to kick them off. She traced a finger under my chin, sitting back on her heels to give me room to rip off my shirt, my hat and sunglasses going flying in the process.

“Mmm,” she hummed, planting her hands on my pecs, sliding her body downwards, both of us grinning when my cock slid through her folds. She suddenly froze up, eyes fully of worry.

“What’s wrong? Is it the baby? Your back? I can-”

“Fuck, I want your cock in me but I want to be careful too. I don’t want you in me right now,” she said quietly, her cheeks flushing. “I’m sorry-”

“Sh, sh. We can have plenty of fun without penetration,” I said, gripping her thighs. “Rock back and forth and rub yourself off on me.”

“Are you sure that’s enough to get you there too?” she asked. I chuckled, my hands sliding to her waist, pushing my cock through her folds, the head of my cock hitting her clit and earning a sharp inhale of air.

“My hot pregnant wife rubbing herself off on my dick? Oh yeah, that’s not sexy at all.” I moved her body again, Y/N relaxing more. She bit her bottom lip, grinding against me. “That’s it, nice and easy.”

We fell into an easy rhythm. She slid back, I pulled forward, smirking as she bit harder when I hit her clit.

“Love to get you off, omega. Can’t wait to put another baby in you.” Her lips parted, my hands grasping her harder. “You like that? You want another baby?”

“Fuck, ask me again in six months. Until then don’t stop talking like that,” she said, voice deep and whining. I rolled my hips as I yanked her forwards, Y/N joining in and giving us both more pressure. Back and forth, back and forth.

A thin layer of sweat broke out over my body, Y/N panting atop me. I was close but she needed more time. I forced my body to relax as I moved my hand, rubbing my thumb against her clit as we rocked together. Her thighs flexed, locking my hips tight.

“Come on, darlin’. Come on,” I said, encouraging her.

“Talk dirty, please,” she gasped, moving faster, looking for her end.

“Can’t wait to put that next baby in you. Watch you ride my cock like last time. Remember how you milked my knot so hard you nearly passed out? Feel my knot? Fuck it wants-“

I wasn’t prepared for Y/N to reach behind herself and wrap her hand around it, giving my knot a firm squeeze. I came hard, rubbing Y/N until she was tensing up, squeezing my arm with a soft moan.

She rolled to the side, my eyes closed tight, heart pounding in my ears.

“Beau,” she said, shaking my arm. “Beau, are you okay?”

“Uh huh,” I mumbled, my body flooded in post orgasmic bliss. I turned my head, forcing my eyes to open. She smiled, running her hand through my sweaty hair.

“Did I break your brain?” I hummed, smiling lazily. She reached a hand over my cock, giving the knot the tiniest of squeezes. I came over her hand, Y/N wide eyed as she gently milked me through it.

An incoherent garble of words spilled past my lips, Y/N’s hand working my knot like her pussy would have. I’d have sworn I was floating if not for her other hand on my head to ground me, praising me through it all.

“Good boy,” she murmured when my knot finally deflated, my stomach and her hand a mess. “You ever do that before?”

“Get my knot milked by hand? No, it’s too sensitive but damn, when you do it…” I made an explosion sound, Y/N giggling into my shoulder. “You have fun?”

“Always,” she said, turning her head up and kissing me. “Want to make out in the shower before we go back out there?”

“You always have the best ideas,” I said, sitting up, scooping her up in my arms.

“Dad!” Emily shouted from what sounded like the bottom of the stairs.

“What?” I called back, stopping near the door, double checking it was locked.

“When you’re done being a horny teenager, grandma and grandpa are here!”

“Give us five minutes!” I shook my head, Y/N smiling in my arms. “Children. Are you ready to deal with another one of her in eighteen years?”

“I can’t wait for it.” I smirked, kissing the tip of her nose. She looked so innocent, so light and happy unlike on the night we met all the months ago. What I wouldn’t give to tell that girl just how wonderful life would be for her soon enough, how she’d turn so many of our lives around.

I carried her into the bathroom, holding her tight, excited for what the future would hold.

“Me either, omega.”

A/N: Well, that's all folks! What'd you think of this one? Would you ever want to see more of this world in the future? 🤔

#beau arlen #beau arlen x reader #beau arlen x you #beau arlen x y/n #beau arlen x female reader #beau arlen fanfiction #big sky #jensen ackles

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angelicguy · 10 hours ago

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SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS deltarune spoilers:

Finished the new deltarune chapters. Found it really really great- i was worried about how they were going to combine the wacky stuff with actual story momentum and I think they did a great job by essentially separating it into the two separate chapters. The "real" game in chapter 3 was phenomenal- it had the perfect blend of wowww this is fucking creepy and stark without being overt, played on how "off" the original zelda games felt super well- the format of these games always criticize how people play RPGs specifically, so it was interesting to get a version of that with a different genre. honestly wish it was longer, but it was juuust enough developed gameplay to make it feel like an uncanny haze rather than an entire other segment. really really good. chapter 4 was bomb too, a more meat n potatoes for my approach (not killin nothin), way more of a focus on moving the broader plot forward, which after 7 years was absolutely the correct move. made sense pace-wise too- i was initially a little hesitant on the pace after how breakneck chapter 3 was (i think i almost finished it in 2 sessions, each about 2 hours? i had to replay the whole thing to get the secret boss, and that took 40 minutes) but knowing 4 was essentially the opposite tonally it made me appreciate them both more.

I do wonder if the presentation of all of this would have worked better if we just called the entire thing chapter 3- i get not wanting to set standards too high for future chapters length+content, but i still think chapter 2 was the best blend of gameplay, dialogue and secret stuff. how its divided now made chapter 3 feel more like 3/4ths of a full chapter- the lack of hometown segment didnt help with that impression, either.

i make fun of the dialogue often, and i dont think that's inappropriate- it can be really clunky and blunt. susie really does end up repeating the same handful of "i cant believe i have friends!" lines 30 times, ralsei is so obviously more aware of the broader story already. even tennas lines felt like watered down spamton tropes. after years of waiting, i felt a bit silly reading a lot of it- if i could make a single change to the writing, i would cut down on these hit-you-over-the-head obvious "wink wink" moments. in a game with so many well-hidden routes and interactions, i dont know why they have to allude to its weakest themes so often. make me search for it! finding tenna freaking out in the secret spots would have hit a lot harder if he didnt say what was on his mind in the base fights already.

but the games greatest narrative strength is making all the characters feel more in-depth than the average rpg npc- you WANT to interact with them, hear their next line, see what they would say to different dialogue options, etc. its the kind of thing you can't really get from other games and i think is what gives deltarune its energy. its short, but it really does feel like the 4 years it took to make werent wasted- the obsession with every possible outcome being acknowledged and covered, despite being such a linear game, gets me excited in the same way a good book or movie does. \

it feels like a culmination of a very late 90s early 2000s experience with gaming too. all the tropes it plays with dont really exist in the most popular titles of the last two decades, so im really impressed by how well it managed to keep plot that's rooted in what are now VERY OLD RPG mechanics (you controlling kris, who is a different person than you, the player) engaging and independent from the tropes theyre pulling from- you dont need to know about how saccharine and cloying old rpgs are (while i know toby fox is inspired primarily by earthbound, i get more criticism of dragon quest style rpgs here) but if you "get it" in the way the game does, it really adds a lot. undertale was always good, but undeniably 1 note in its presentation a decade after its release. the message in deltarune isnt simply "killing enemies in a video game just to lvl up is mean" anymore, but rather "isnt it strange that the RPG protagonists had entire lives before you take control of them?". i think that line of thinking allows the game to play with the fourth wall in a far more interesting way than simply having a character scold you for your actions- the game is scrambling to keep itself together during the weird route, and as someone who plays a LOT of video games im always thrilled to see something ive really never seen attempted before play out with such depth. So cool cant wait for chap 5

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your-chaotic-neutral · 1 day ago

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I just watched Materialists and I'm having difficult feelings about this movie. Who wouldn't want a man like Harry? Who wouldn't try for and with a man like Harry? Yes I'm a Harry sympathiser. A man that's honest. Someone who sees your value even if you might not. A man that's willing to invest in you, not just monetarily. A man that says this is what you're worth and you deserve absolutely nothing less. Because relationships are an investment. Marriage is an investment. You're investing time and interest and hoping to cash out something that's secure. Love is an added benefit. And I'm not saying that I don't love love. I love love! But I can also acknowledge that love comes in different forms. And when looking for a casket buddy more things than just romantic love comes into play.

Now I'm not saying that I hated John and what he had to offer, but let's be so for real. What he had to offer simply wasn't enough, and I'm not even talking financially. In the undisclosed years they were broken up he made absolutely no self improvement? Not a better paying job, not more ambition, nothing. Really? In your 20's that shit might fly but as someone that's almost 40? No. Not good enough. No one's saying give up on your dreams but if the only thing that's making you hungry to get what you want is the possibility that the "love of your life" might not want to get back with you, then how badly did you really want it? You mean to tell me he wasn't trying to get every possible acting job there was? He didn't try getting more shifts or a promotion so he could get a better place with roommates that won't leave condoms on the floor? I want to scream into the ether at John. He's so frustrating as a character. Potential is good but it doesn't pay the bills. Potential is good but it doesn't get you to where you want to be. Potential is good but it's not good enough if you're not doing anything with it. And randomly bumping into Lucy shouldn't have been the thing that put fire in your chest to win her back. Her calling you broke in the middle of the road in broad daylight should have been the thing. Also nothing about that relationship flashback gave anything to aspire to. She's clearly materialistic as the title implies and he's cheap as fuck l. What do you mean you forgot our 5 year anniversary and didn't bring any money despite me telling you that we're going to a fancy restaurant? She tells you that you'll end up hating each other because both of y'all are broke, should have been the end of that storyline. A character like John is not who we should be writing movies about!! Why is the onus on the woman for you to be a better person?! Be better in spite of her not because of her.

Lucy, you dumb bitch. I can't even fault you. We all want someone to love us simply because they do. But you just cosigned a life with a man who you gave a monologue to about love not being enough. Girlie, open your eyes. You're very words were everything's going to be great for a couple of years and then the arguing will start. You will have children in hopes of fixing the relationship, and for a while it will work. But then it won't be enough. You will continue to argue only now you're trying to hide it from children, and then eventually you'll start arguing in front of the children, and then you'll resent having children. Next thing you know you're divorced and fighting over who gets the house and what days you see the children. Lucy, when that man proposed by asking you if you want to make a bad financial decision that's the exact life you agreed to. I'm not saying that she should have chosen a loveless albeit fun and exciting relationship with Harry, because she did want that big love. But I'm just stuck on the fact that out of all the fuck ass men in New York, she settled for the broke one. Because that's exactly what that relationship is, her settling for something that's familiar and comfortable.

I wanted to love it because it's been so long since we've had a good romantic comedy, but this left me hungry and upset.

#materialists #Harry #John #Chris Evans #Pedro Pascal #Dakota Johnson #spoilers #Lucy

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kotonoba · 1 day ago

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Spicy Joke with a Stoic Man

Summary: You, the reader, decide it was time to show Zoro and Perona that there is a more human side to your boyfriend, Dracule Mihawk's stoic demeanor by cracking a joke with him in their presence. Only, it backfires, not on you, but on them.

a/n: Can you believe it? I finish my nursing semester & decide that I should go & reread One Piece only to get hooked on more characters. Now, I end up writing about them. & you know what. Of course the first one HAD to be Mihawk. Life's hard, & I love that about it.

Warnings: suggestive themes, female reader, suggestive/mature joke, slightly OOC because I haven't fully grasped Mihawk's personality (but I love him so bad, so do you blame me?)

Inspo. (I'll link it when I find it)

Posted on AO3

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For a man of his caliber, loneliness is to be expected. He has stated many times that he does not trust anyone, and he finds it difficult to trust people. First, a Marine Hunter who does mercenary-like jobs, then crowned as the World’s Strongest Swordsman, and finally given the title of one of the Seven Warlords of the Seas. With the abolishment of the Warlords system, the Marines went after him, though it didn’t matter to him, what mattered was you.

You latched onto him relatively early on, a victim of the corruption of the World Government that left you with nothing but a boat of knowledge on weaponsmithing and a variety of survival skills. You were a bother to him initially, as you had washed ashore on Kuraigana after one of his outings. He learned to tolerate you after finding out you would rather stay out of sight and out of mind. Your joys in life were unusual, as you enjoyed creating and admiring strange weapons, while also reading. Most of the time, he doesn't see you, when he does, you're in your world, reading.

He grew accustomed to your presence, longing to see you after a long day, and he developed romantic feelings for you. You didn't deny him; instead, you accepted his cold, stoic exterior, fully aware that he was a man of few words, with deliberate strikes, much like a blade being wielded. You were just a civilian with a mind full of wonders, you watched him train every day, picking up on his techniques significantly faster than the Humandrills that resided on the islands did. You piqued his interest; he often suggested teaching you how to wield a sword, but, without an excuse, you always denied.

Today was no different. Perona, with her new boy toy, was nowhere to be seen. “You have a great memory and flawless stance,” you looked up from your position on the floor, admiring some steel and alloy you found on the island.

“I don't fight, I wouldn't have a stance,” you responded dryly.

“When you hold a sword, testing the weight with each stance, it is simi– it is exactly my training stance. You cannot say you don’t have a stance,” Mihawk pointed out. Despite the tension and how distant it seemed, this type of bickering was normal and more comfortable for your lover, so you decided to roll with it. He was more gentle and softer when the two of you were alone, knowing no one would burst through the door. You weren’t opposed to it; you liked having a side where only you could see in private.

“I have to take into consideration what people would feel, why wouldn’t I copy the best example given to me by my boyfriend?” You knew that pointing out his relation to you did something for him, as it got him speechless immediately. You got up from your position, placing the steel and alloy on the table in front of Mihawk. Gently, you pried away the newspaper in his hand, you eyed the door a little before sneaking a quick peck to his lips. He chased your lips a little, and you gave in willingly, which earned a hum from him.

“Wow, rare to see him so… human,” Zoro teased. You turned to face him, covered in wounds and scratches, followed by Perona, who was just bickering at him for getting lost in the first place.

“He’s plenty human,” you defended, at least he’s plenty human to you, and that’s all Mihawk cared about. During this whole time, he only watched the conversation unfold; he didn’t bother adding to it. Watching the person he loves defend him was a different kind of happiness he enjoyed silently. “My love,” Mihawk’s amber eyes turned to face towards yours, a malicious grin painted on your features.

“Oh no, what is it?” That grin, Mihawk knew better than to trust it.

“I’m envious,” you sighed dramatically, leaning against him, glancing at his apprentice from your position.

“Envious of what?” He followed your eyes to glance at his apprentice, who seemed to have caught on to your antics and had gotten progressively more concerned about what was to come from your mouth.

You cupped your hand on his face gently, turning his attention back to you. A low, curious rumble resonated in his chest. “Your beard, you know why?” You were met with silence before Mihawk shook his head, “because your beard is on your face, and I’m not.” You smiled innocently, watching the tips of Mihawk’s ears burn red.

Mihawk groans, rubbing his temple in a circular motion. Perona exploded in laughter, watching the two swordsmen’s reaction. The world’s greatest was in turmoil, wondering how he should respond, while his apprentice seemed dumbfounded by his master’s response. “Ten laps. Ten laps around the island, Zoro,” Mihawk glared, his arm finding its way around your waist, pulling you closer to him, “go with him, Perona, in case he gets lost, I need to have a ‘talk’ with my weaponsmith.”

You watched the two who had just returned angrily storm back out of the mansion. You turned to face your boyfriend, who was slowly calming down from your joke prior, “Isn’t ten laps a little much?”

“It is not enough for what I am about to do to you.”

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Feel free to request something, if I'm not comfortable writing, I'll tell you while I work on what I can & can't really do at a later date. I tried my best not to use y/n because I understand it irks some people, if it feels weird to you, do tell me.

#dracule mihawk #hawkeye mihawk #one piece mihawk #mihawk x reader #mihawk x you #mihawk x y/n #op x reader #op x you #op x y/n

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storkmuffin · 3 days ago

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who turn sons into fathers

disclaimer time: This is fanfiction written in the form of an analytical essay. If you disagree you are right and I am wrong, and every member of Ateez is an unparalleled genius of artistic perfection, okay?

San is trying to Do a Thing while on the promotion tour for Lemon Drop

In Korean script, that says, One and Only (in white) Free Bakku San (then in actual English, very positive). Free Bakku comes from 상견례프리빠꾸상 (Literally: Face that Gets Rejected on Sight by Parents at the Formal Meeting Between the Parents and Couple to Give Mutual Assent to the Engagement). They made a pun, swapping out the word 상 ( sang) with San's name, 산. I've said before that San is on a campaign to defy this moniker.

youtube

San made an appearance, along with Yeosang, on this girl idol's youtube talk show.

The staff on the show bring up the whole Free Bakku Face issue, and Yeosang immediately disavows the moniker for himself: You don't mean both of us?? In pink, the subtitle says: Swift Border Creation between himself and San. San says, "What do you mean, both of us??

Throughout this show, like he was with Narae Park on the other program, San is the most perfectly gentle, demure, well behaved boy you ever saw. For example, they don't provide him with an immediate place to put the trash that's generated in the course of doing the show and tell that's a part of this show's set up, so he quietly just puts the trash out of sight in his own pocket.

The subtitle put in by the totally won-over staff says, Tell Me How You Don't Fall in Love With Choi San.

In addition to being soft and well spoken, gentle mannered, and considerate of other people, the other thing San wants to push this comeback, hardcore, is that he's a great student. The Korean concept of academic excellence is not so much that it's a talent or a matter of intelligence. We think it's a matter of know how x effort. And Choi San intends for you to know that he is someone who can commit to and actually achieve studying a language very far removed from his own for 30 minutes every. single. day. He even shares his study notes! And he does have really lovely American pronunciation

The thing is!

2. Wooyoung is trying to do two things - one is the same thing that San is doing, and the other is to beat San at it, because that's how he does things.

Wooyoung is just going to skip the part where he auditions for Perfect Son in Law. I think his assumption is that he'll have the girl in hand already, and anyway everyone loves him, so why would the father of the bride object? But just in case, he wants everyone to know that he has fully mastery over childcare.

The title literally says, THE GENIUS OF CHILDCARE and they aren't talking about Yeosang.

youtube

He taught this little baby to say a word within about four tries!

He sings her a lullaby! And the editor, who fell in love with him, wrote an additional comment later that she drifted off to sleep while editing this bit because his lullaby was so soothing. (Girl it get it TOGETHER).

The baby is completely enamored by the end of this rather dull outing where this exceptionally docile baby is taken very good care of by a self-professed baby-care expert.

This kind of babycare content coincided with now famous death spiral of the Korean birthrate, and I'm actually still not sure that showing exceptionally hot men having a really relaxing babysitting session is actually going to change anything, but I do prefer this (beautiful men interacting helpfully with babies and not being lost or looking for a woman to help them) over the other usual content about the low birthrate, which is ugly old men yapping about what women aged 21-34 want or don't want, without ever, not once, inviting a woman, any woman, to speak.

#wooyoung meta #san meta #ateez meta #ateez #wooyoung #san #choi san #jung wooyoung

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pushovermediacritic · 2 days ago

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The Land Before Time Liveblog 12

The Land Before Time XII: The Great Day of the Flyers

Last Time:

Littlefoot was small. Cera's dad met an old flame. Fraggle genocide.

This Time: Starting with this movie, I'm entering unexplored territory. If you don't count the TV show, which I might not cover, I haven't seen anything coming up, three whole movies I'm completely unfamiliar with.

I've heard dire portents of 13, but basically nothing about 12 and 14. Just based on the title of this one, I'm expecting Petrie focus.

The Universal logo is still not Pangaea.

Still pretty disappointing to me that they never play with the Universal logo, like it would be so cool if they-

Wait, what's happening?

YES!!! This running gag finally paid off! And they didn't just have the Universal logo be Pangaea from the start, they did a FAKE-OUT, having the Universal logo start normal and then reverse time INTO Pangaea!! That's SO GOOD!!!

I bet all of you who knew this was coming were just WAITING for this moment! Well, I can say this did not disappoint! I love when movies mess with the opening credits and logos, you're so used to just ignoring them that it's always jarring in a fun way.

I hope they re-use this opening for every future movie but I totally understand if they don't, because it would get repetitive and the fake-out wouldn't be surprising anymore.

Of course, this intro has to have the narrator talk. He talks about how the Earth has changed in dramatic ways, continents moving, becoming burning hot and freezing cold, species flourishing and dying.

Narrator: "Yes, the Earth is very different than it was in the days of the dinosaurs! But one thing that has remained the same since the time of the dinosaurs is the fact that everything is always changing."

From here, we transition to Littlefoot, Ducky, and Spike gazing up at the sky. They're searching for something in particular, but the movie isn't letting the audience in on what it is.

Ducky thinks she sees something, and Spike gets excited and bumps her off the ledge! Littlefoot stretches his neck down to catch her and when he pulls her up, she scolds Spike for scaring her and making her lose sight of what she was looking at. Littlefoot wonders where Cera is.

Littlefoot is voiced in this movie by Nick Price. I'm not familiar with any of the other things he's in. I haven't even seen that particular Peanuts cartoon where he played Schroeder. He hasn't gotten a lot of dialogue yet but so far, he seems to be doing a better job than Aaron Spann did last movie. Also, this is the first Land Before Time movie to be widescreen.

With Cera, she's glaring at an egg. Tria is also there and nuzzles it. Topsy (yup, I'm still using that name until "Topps" is actually mentioned by literally any character in-universe) walks in.

Tria wonders whether the baby will look more like her or him, and the two adults agree that they hope it looks more like Tria while giggling (odd that they'd agree on that, since Tria went on and on last movie about how handsome Topsy is).

Cera: *clears throat* "Is it okay if go meet Littlefoot and the others? We want to watch Petrie practice for the Day of the Flyers. ...I said 'I'm gonna go find my friends'!"

Tria: "Do you think it's cold? Do you think it needs more grass on top?"

Topsy: "No, it's fine!"

Tria: *sigh* "I think it's cold, c'mon!"

She leans over to rip up some grass and put it on top.

Topsy: "Tria, I don't-

Tria: "Topsy. Did you lay this egg?"

Topsy: "Um-mum-mum, nooo, but I was-"

Tria: "Than hush up and help me!" *Topsy grumbles but does it*

Cera: "So bye! I'm heading out to the Mysterious Beyond to see if I can get eaten by a Sharptooth!"

Topsy: "Okay, don't be late!"

Tria: "Have fun!"

Cera walks off, pouting, and now Tria thinks it's too warm.

Time-out! Topsy "married" Tria?! And got BIZAY! I was wondering if they were going to skirt around the implications, but no, they straight-up had Tria imply that she laid that egg. Props for going there. Hopefully whenever the egg hatches, the baby triceratops isn't as annoying as Dana and Dinah were.

Cera joins the others and she didn't miss anything. Right as she arrives, they see Petrie practicing. He's flying in a V-formation with 8 other young Pteranodons.

In case you can't recognize him, he's the one in the middle-right. They do some swoops and turns, Petrie following along perfectly, until he notices his friends watching and waves to them, which slows him down and makes him bump into the kid behind him! He flies forward and bumps into the Flyer in front of him, then falls onto the blue one, ultimately causing a huge pile-up and all 9 of them fall out of the sky!

They all crash to the ground, in various trees and bushes! One falls onto Ducky's mom's face. Petrie falls into a bush and has to yell to keep Mr. Clubtail from eating him with some leaves. Mr. Clubtail walks away grumbling, with another one landed on his tail. The Gang arrive as the group of Flyer kids gather, all glaring at Petrie. Petrie's mom flies in and the other Flyer kids are eager for the chewing out he's gonna get. But she's not mad, just disappointed. Which hurts even worse! Recognizing the situation has become awkward, The Gang leave.

That night, Littlefoot tells his Grandpa that Petrie was practicing with his brothers and sisters earlier, and Grandpa already heard about it from Mr. Clubtail. Wait, those ALL were Petrie's siblings? I assumed some of them were other Flyer's kids, Petrie usually has 4-5 siblings, not 8!

Littlefoot asks Grandpa why the Day of the Flyers is important. Grandpa explains that every herd has its own traditions, and the Day of the Flyers is a significant event because it marks a developmental milestone for young Flyers, showing they can fly with the herd. So it's a rite of passage, like a bar mitzvah. Littlefoot stomps his foot and says that it's not fair, Petrie can fly fine alone, his siblings just make him nervous. Grandpa reassures him that Petrie will do fine.

Over in Petrie's nest, his siblings are ganging up on him and shit-talking his flying abilities, saying that he does the opposite of what they do and he's hopeless. Seems inaccurate, he only messed up today because he got distracted waving to The Gang. Their mom comes over to break it up.

She makes them leave so she can talk to Petrie alone. She asks what the problem is, and Petrie doesn't know. She then asks Petrie if he'll be ready for the Day of the Flyers, and all he can promise is that he'll try his best. She reassures him that he always does, and bids him good-night. But after she leaves, Petrie's still in a sour mood.

Petrie: "They think me never do nothing right! Sometimes me wish me had a whole 'nother family..."

On that thought, Petrie goes to sleep while the camera ominously zooms out and music eerily reminiscent of the Lord of the Rings "Ring Theme" plays. Creepy.

Over with Cera, Topsy is kicking in his sleep, and Tria's too focused on the egg to sleep. Tria pokes Topsy to wake him up and demands that he move over so he doesn't roll over on the egg. Topsy protests, but does so, and Tria makes him scoot over further. Cera tells them good night, but they ignore her and Tria keeps telling him to move over even further and further. Topsy does and he falls off a ledge, to which Tria whispers "perfect".

Well. That's weird. Tria was a pretty thoughtful and kind character last movie, but with last scene and this one, her characterization has shifted dramatically. She's obviously being written as obsessed with making sure the egg is okay, but even with that excuse, she's just being written as straight-up mean. The last scene and this one feel like the writers watched some sitcoms and decided "nagging mean tiger mom with a put-upon emotionally detached husband" was a good dynamic to draw inspiration from.

Also, it's just inaccurate. We've literally found fossils of T-Rexs curled up around their eggs, we know that dinosaurs had the same instinct most other animals do to not roll over on their babies in their sleep. It's just a natural instinct. And the scene doesn't even make sense, Tria and Topsy were sleeping next to each other with the egg in front of them. It would be impossible for Topsy to roll over onto the egg.

The next day, Petrie is complaining to The Gang about what his siblings said to him last night. Ducky and Littlefoot assert that he IS a good Flyer, just by himself. Again, I don't know where they're getting this from, the problem earlier was him getting distracted, not flying in a group. They did a poor job establishing this.

Petrie: "That just it! Me good alone! N-Not so good with family..."

Cera: "Join the club... Huh?"

Okay, these faces are great, but I think they're a little bit of an overreaction. Like, what Cera said wasn't THAT dramatic. It reminds me of the group reaction shot in 2, but those faces were in response to Cera saying her dad told her not to play with other species. That's more of an appropriate reaction.

Littlefoot switches gears back to Petrie and tells him that the next time he's flying with them, he should remember how good at flying he is and that he can do anything! Petrie gets all hyped up on the idea that he can do anything, before deflating again with the admission that he hates flying through "sky puffies" (clouds), and isn't good at flying in the wind. Littlefoot points out that today is pretty windy, so Petrie should practice! Petrie takes off and makes some headway before being launched backward into some tall grass.

The others chase after him, but then hear a scream, which isn't Petrie! They poke their heads through some tall grass and Petrie runs out, petrified and pointing his finger forward, shivering uncontrollably! Ducky asks if it's a Sharptooth and Petrie shakes his head while still pointing. Grandpa and some other adults walk over, having heard the scream. The music builds to a dramatic crescendo as they all lean in to see whatever is hiding in the grass!

It's... it's... a weird little green bird-guy.

He's a Microraptor, which I actually mentioned last review as one of the smallest real dinosaurs, next to Aquilops. But unfortunately, he doesn't have one of the most iconic features of the Microraptor, that being their four wings.

Yup, Microraptors had wings on their back legs, too, and they were just as functional for flying.

The Microraptor walks out and timidly apologizes for scaring them. This only makes everyone more confused. He continues.

Microraptor: *clears throat* "Okay, I um, I guess you're all wondering why I asked you here, huh? Aheeee- hehe- well you're all wondering..." *he grins awkwardly*

Topsy: *walks in* "Alright, who's making all the racket? Huuuh?!"

Microraptor: "Ah, yeah that would be me, hi! I'm really sorry if you were disturbed. Eh, not that anyone's saying you're disturbed, least of all me! I mean, uh, you know, in the sense of being, uh, not all there you're- you're obviously all there, I mean just look at you, you're uh, hehehehe, ooo..." (he grins awkwardly)

Topsy: "I don't know who, or what, you are. But we don't like noise around here. Some of us are trying to hatch eggs!"

Microraptor: "OH!" *whispering* "I mean 'oh', I'm sorry lady, I didn't realize!"

Topsy: "Grrrrrr, not me!"

At that, Ducky cracks up laughing, but Cera glares at her and she shuts it. Topsy walks away, and the Microraptor warns him not to go that way. He ignores the warning and slides down a hill into a mud puddle. At this, EVERYONE starts laughing!

Ducky briefly stops out of fear, but resumes laughing when she sees Cera guffawing, too. Topsy gets up and glares at the Microraptor, growling. The Microraptor jumps into the mud on his own!

Topsy: "Just what we need: another weirdo!" *he leaves*

Grandpa: *walking away* "Ha ha ha ha! i just wish Grandma were here to see it!"

Damn, roasted his ass! That line of Grandpa's was clearly added late in development, too, since while he's saying that, his mouth isn't moving.

The Microraptor climbs out of the mud and Littlefoot asks why he did that.

Microraptor: "Saved him the trouble of pushing me in."

He shakes off the mud and asks where he is. Littlefoot answers the Great Valley and asks where he's from. He's not sure, he just kind of woke up here. And he's not sure how he got here, either. He says "they" call him Guido, but he's not sure who "they" are. And he doesn't have a herd, he's the only one like himself he's ever seen! Well, obviously because he has amnesia. Also, goodie, an amnesia plot...

The Gang are enamored with the concept of being the only one of your kind, especially Petrie. This leads into song 1 of the movie: One of a Kind.

But before I get into that, there's something I NEED to address about Guido. Just based on this one scene, I can tell that Guido's whole shtick is drawing from a VERY specific comedic stereotype. That being the "dweeby and nervous Jewish chatterbox". You know, like Mort in Family Guy or Kyle Schwartz from South Park. Guido doesn't have the accent, but the voice and mannerisms are an exact match. And if you know anything about those shows, you'd know that those characters aren't exactly a FAVORABLE comparison to make! As a Jew myself, I'm a little offended by Guido!!

Alright, that little rant out of the way, let's listen to One of a Kind.

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It's kinda bad. I do like the structure of the song. It starts with Petrie and Cera complaining about their plots, then Littlefoot and Ducky reassure them, then Guido complains about being lonely, then The Gang accept Guido. However, it's poorly executed. The singing, lyrics, and musical flow are pretty annoying, actually.

And it has issues with canon. They're now fully and completely retconning Cera's siblings out of continuity. She had siblings in the first and second movies, but ever since movie 3, she suddenly became an only child. Except then 6 had an off-screen sibling who was old enough to have kids of their own and Cera had to babysit them, but that whole situation has never been referenced since.

And in this song, she complains about the new egg and wishes she could go back to being a single child, when it was literally a plot point in the first movie that Littlefoot was the only single child in the group. Even Spike got adopted into Ducky's family.

Also, the animation and choreography is really weird. Like, the faces are REALLY off-model in those shots where they're walking toward the camera, and the lip-synch varies from great to bad, sometimes even in the same verse! The song is lacking in creative or compelling visuals, Cera's verse is the only one that has anything interesting going on with the reflection and her on the rock. The last verse is just a copy of the "walking around the new kid" bit from You're One of Us Now.

Also, I'm not sure how old Guido is. He's got amnesia, so even he's probably not sure. And he's a Microraptor, he's supposed to be tiny. But it doesn't feel like he's written as a child, he feels like he's written as an adult. Specifically, as an adult stand-up comedian, and that makes his new friendship with The Gang feel weird. I wonder if they meant to get a famous guest voice actor for him, like Doc, Pterano, Thicknose, Bron, and Big Daddy had. But they couldn't get one, so they just said "fuck it, give him to Spike's VA" (yeah yeah, I know Rob Paulsen is a legend in his own right, but he's not a guest, he's voiced Spike in every movie but 1 and 6 and he also did Mo).

After One of a Kind, Littlefoot suggests that Guido might not be the only one. He's got kind of a long neck like Littlefoot and a sharp beak like Petrie, and maybe the weird stickly things on his head could fan out like Cera's frill. They take him to go see if anyone in the Great Valley is like him.

They talk in this scene like they've never seen anything like Guido and his feathers before, but they literally have. Remember Ichy from 4? Yeah, Guido is only a few steps removed from Ichy on the evolutionary tree. More bad continuity.

Later, Guido is on Grandpa's head and Grandpa explains they have long necks to eat the tenderest tree stars at the top of the trees (I thought it was to save the world during a solar eclipse?) Guido bites a leaf and tries to pull it off (I was doubting the "neurotic Jewish stereotype" read for a second, but he literally pulls while going "guuuuuu"). He pulls it off and flies backward down Grandpa's back and off his tail! Then he chokes on the leaf until Grandma whacks him on the back to make him cough it up! He is not a Longneck.

They try talking to Mr. Clubtail, who explains that he's got a bopper on his tail. When Guido asks what that is, he thwacks Guido with it!

They walk toward Topsy.

Topsy: "Don't even think about it."

They turn around and walk away from Topsy. Some good jokes here!

At the lake, Ducky shows him how to swim in the shallow end.

Guido: "Eh, oogh, I gotta tell ya, I got a real problem with swimming where I drink, yehh. Eh, I- it just doesn't seem right!"

Ducky: "Give it a try! You will be fine, yep yep yep!" *she leads him into the water*

Guido: "Ehhh, eh ehhh... Wait, wait! And you're sure there's nothing in there that bites?"

Ducky: "I am pretty sure."

Guido: *a shadow swims up next to Guido* "Bad answer! Nyehh-ehh-ehh-yee!"

He runs out of the water as the shadow surfaces, revealing a confused turtle. He runs into Spike and falls back, deciding that he's not a Swimmer.

I was finding it funny, but now I'm IMMEDIATELY getting sick of this bit. When Guido isn't talking or he's suffering slapstick, he's tolerable, but when he starts talking, it grates on my ears. This whole sequence is like a lamer version of the kids showing Chomper their specialties in You're One of Us Now, but where Chomper was cute and innocent, Guido is annoying and offensive!

From his position looking up, Guido sees Petrie practicing with his siblings in the V-formation. Petrie follows along fine, but then the leader decides to fly through a cloud and he panics, asking if they can just go around and then freaking out, yelling "roll" when they reach it! They collide with each other in the cloud, then all fall out!

Random Parasaurolophus: "Strange weather we're having today!"

This movie was written like a sitcom. Straight-up. It feels like it should have a laugh track.

Later, Petrie's sitting on a rock on a hill and Guido walks up to him, gasping and wheezing and panting the whole way. He's this close 🤏 to whining about needing his inhaler for his asthma (which shouldn't be something to laugh at, but it is a running gag with Kyle Schwartz in South Park). Guido says that everyone's looking for Petrie.

Petrie: "Me not know why. Me mess up everything! Me worst Flyer in Valley."

Guido: "Hey, come ooooon! Don't say things like that about yourself!"

Petrie: "Me not say it, brothers and sisters did!"

They're REALLY mad at him.

Guido: "Yeah. Eh, well, I thought that roll you did up there was really good! You know, I me- I mean, it was, it was excellent, beautiful, eve- spectacular!"

Petrie: "Good if me alone, maybe! But whole point of Day of Flyers is to fit in with others!"

WHAT ROLL?!?! Petrie yelled "roll" before he hit the cloud, but he didn't actually DO a roll, he just stalled in mid-air and the others crashed into him! Again, what they're saying happened and what ACTUALLY HAPPENED are completely different! Both times, Petrie has been told his issue is that he flies independently, but both times, the real issue was him getting distracted!

I swear, it's like the writers and animators are not on the same page here!

Petrie and Guido bond over not fitting in, and Petrie invites Guido to live with him. Not because he's a Flyer, no (it's not like the last feathered creature we met was a Flyer...), but just because they're both outsiders and could be friends over that. Then Littlefoot walks up and tells them that Tria's egg is about to hatch!

The entire Great Valley gathers for this special occasion! They didn't do that when a bunch of eggs hatched in 2, but every movie since then has ignored that happened. The egg hatches into a beautiful healthy (pink) baby Triceratops girl!

Tria and Topsy shed a few tears at how precious she is, and Tria introduces her to Cera, her sister. We see from the baby's POV as her eyes adjust for the first time and Cera smiling is the first face she sees clearly! Cera seems to like her, but then when the baby falls over, Tria and Topsy start cooing and fawning over her and Cera gets jealous again, walking away. Petrie calls the baby cute and Cera snaps at him!

Later, Petrie's mom is handing out berries to her kids for dinner. Petrie flies in.

Petrie's mom: "Well? Is it true? Does the Threehorn family have a new addition?"

Petrie: "Yeeeeaap! And uh, so do we!"

Petrie's mom (stunned): "Uh-huh. Petrie, I'm usually the one who makes that announcement."

Petrie: "Not this time! Everybody, meet Guidooooo!"

Lol at Petrie's mom's line.

Guido laboriously climbs up the wall into the nest, gasping and panting. Petrie's siblings are confused and surround him. They comment that he looks like a bunch of flowers, but doesn't smell like one. They painfully pluck a feather and ask what it is, and their mom tells them to quit crowding their guest. They walk over to Petrie.

Petrie's siblings (angry): "We've been wanting to talk to you, Petrie!" "Yeah, about what happened today!" "Yeah, you messed up again, Petrie!" "Yeah!" "Yeah, like you always do!" "Yeah, what's your problem, Petrie?!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!"

Guido: "Hey hey, fellas, c'mon, give him a break! I mean, uh, of course he gets confused when he flies with you! Your rear ends look just like your faces so, uh, h-how can he tell which way to go?"

After a second of stunned silence, they all burst out laughing. Even mom laughs a bit before telling them to go to bed. One says that Guido's alright and slaps him on the back! Mom tells them to go to sleep, and that they're glad Guido could come visit (notice this is the second time she's firmly asserted that Guido is NOT a permanent resident, just a very welcome guest). Petrie and Guido lie down, and Guido promises to help Petrie practice before they go to sleep.

They DEFINITELY wrote this movie under the impression that Guido would be played by a celebrity comedian, like Adam Sandler. He keeps getting these weird stand-up comedy bits, and this one resolving the conflict between Petrie and his siblings felt particularly pander-y. Except they couldn't get a comedian to voice him so it's not pandering, it's just weird.

The next day, Tria is cooing at the baby, named Tricia (pronounced "Trisha"). Tria asks Cera if she can watch the baby while she leaves for a bit. Cera claims the cute shtick won't work on her, but when Tricia manages to stand up and looks all proud of herself, she wins Cera over. Tricia runs off into the grass, but Cera catches up to her and picks her up by her horn to carry her back. Tricia accidentally pokes Cera in the eye with her own horn!

Tria returns and Cera explains the situation, but Tria completely ignores Cera and focuses on praising Tricia for being able to run. While Cera's rubbing her eye, Topsy returns and they both start cooing over Tricia for running. Cera stomps off, angry, and Tricia watches her leave with concern.

Littlefoot and Ducky are eating leaves off a bush and talking about Guido's decision to live with Petrie. Ducky doesn't get why you'd choose to be a Flyer over a Swimmer, and while she's distracted, Spike walks up and eats the cluster of leaves in front of her. She gets mad at him (add it to the list), but then the ground starts shaking! It's just Cera, who runs in like a bat out of hell, trampling the bush! She asks where Ducky is, but Ducky's pinned under the bush. Littlefoot asks what's wrong and Cera starts ranting and stomping about her parents ignoring her, then Ducky asks her to move. She does.

Littlefoot: "Hey, listen. At least your dad's with you! And Tria seems really nice."

Good reference to Bron (interesting that Littlefoot seems to have some resentment there). Cera admits that's true, and that transitions into song 2 of the movie: Things Change.

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Sorry about the audio issue in the last third, that's not in the movie.

Aw man, I want to like this song. The singing is good, the lyrics are decent, and the message is great. Change is inevitable, it changes you without knowing it, and sometimes change is good. The visual metaphors are also good, with the dandelion, cloud shadow, reflection, frog family, and the butterflies emerging.

But oof, that animation. They STILL haven't gotten the hang of that walking-forward singing animation in a way that doesn't look fucked up. The dandelion blowing away looks terrible. Cera's eyes are BLUE for a section, and overall the art is weird and off. The animation issues are really distracting and actually hurt my overall score. Not too much, they drop the song from an 8/10 to a 7/10. But still.

At night, Guido is massaging Petrie's shoulders and hyping him up.

Guido: "Okay, now remember Petrie, you can do anything they can do, alright? I-its just a matter of doing it at the same time!"

Petrie: "Uh, yeah, same time."

Guido: "So, so just keep telling yourself, eh... ooh ooh: 'I fly along with all the rest, I'm going to pass my flying test!' Go- go ahead and say it!"

Petrie: "Me fly along with all the rest, me gonna pass the Flyer test! Like that?"

Guido: "Ehh, yeah, close enough."

Guido pats Petrie's head and his siblings set off. Petrie joins them in formation and Guido and Petrie's mom both let out one single tear of pride (okay, that's a good bit of visual comedy). They fly in formation without issue while triumphant "air force" music plays.

Then we get a montage of time passing. At night, Cera's family is sleeping, and she looks fondly at her baby sister. In daytime, Petrie's family are resting to eat in a tree, and Petrie throws a leaf down to Guido. He tries to bite the leaf, but then spits it out. Then he sees a worm on the leaf and eats that happily, grossing out some of Petrie's siblings. Cera plays with Tricia and bonds with her, then when Tria comes over, Cera hides behind a log. Everyone watches Petrie practicing and Guido runs over him before crashing into a log. Night, Tria wakes up and briefly panics when Tricia is gone, only to see her and Cera sleeping together.

I'm surprised the worm thing hadn't come up yet, Guido's a Microraptor, he's technically a Sharptooth.

The montage ends with Petrie and his siblings coming in for a landing, all in synch, one-by-one. They all celebrate what a good job they all did, including Petrie. The Day of the Flyers is tomorrow, so their mom tells them to get some sleep for the big day. Guido, feeling like he has nothing more to offer, stays behind, but some of the kids run back to pull him with them.

That night, everyone is sleeping in the nest, but Guido stands up and starts sleepwalking. He steps on Petrie, waking him up, and then sleepwalks out of the nest. Worried, Petrie runs to the edge but then is surprised to see Guido walking far away from the nest, not splatted on the ground at the base.

Petrie flies after Guido and starts following and calling for him. Littlefoot overhears Petrie's calls and wakes up to follow them. He asks Petrie what's happening and freaks Petrie out. They lose track of Guido briefly and then see him much further away, over a ledge.

Ducky wakes up from Spike's tossing, but then she gasps!

Good visual comedy, a dramatic shot of Guido walking forward menacingly over Spike's back, framed by the moon. I feel like this is a reference to some alien movie, but I can't quite remember which. Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind?

So, sleepwalking is definitely how Guido got to the Great Valley, though his amnesia is still in question.

Guido steps on Ducky's head to move on and then Petrie and Littlefoot walk up and tell her what's going on. Ducky is eager to go, and she wakes up Spike. Apparently Spike usually wakes up around this time of night anyway for a midnight snack (really? that hasn't been in any of the other movies). As they follow, Ducky explains her eagerness.

Ducky: "I know all about sleepwalking. My auntie sleepswims, and my momma says 'do not ever, never wake her up when she is doing it'."

Littlefoot: "Why not?"

Ducky: "That I do not know. But my momma is always right."

Littlefoot: "Then I guess we better not let him wake up."

Ducky: *gasp* "I will go get Cera! If we have an adventure and she is not here, she will be SO mad! And I do not like it when Cera gets mad, no no no!"

Ducky peels off from the group. A few things to note here, funny they're acknowledging Cera not liking when she's left out of an adventure, that was a big part of 10. We've never met Ducky's aunt, but I kinda want to. Also, there are a bunch of old folk tales about why you shouldn't wake sleepwalkers, that they could have a heart attack or suffer brain damage. That's all nonsense. You still shouldn't wake them, but it's just because they'll be very startled, maybe lashing out or tripping and faling over. Basically like waking up a person normally, but upright.

Later, Cera has joined them, and she's annoyed Ducky woke her up just to walk all over the Valley watching Guido walk all over the Valley. Guido sleepwalks toward a creek, and to prevent him from drowning, The Gang line up in the water for him to walk across them.

Guido walks toward a lava pit, but The Gang line up so that he walks up Littlefoot's tail, off Littlefoot's head to Cera's tail, then off Cera's head to Spike's tail, then off Spike's head, successfully... diverting him slightly to the right, around the lava pit. Seems like they could have just made him turn around. Guido keeps sleepwalking upward and Cera asks Ducky what will happen if they wake him up. Ducky's not sure, just something terrible.

Guido reaches the top of the mountain and there's a ravine on the other side. Littlefoot sees a huge fallen tree and directs The Gang to push it to make a bridge to cross, but it's covered in long branches, meaning they can only push it, not roll it. It starts rolling and scoops up all the kids in the branches before flying through the air off a ramp and landing conveniently in the exact right place of the ravine for Guido to walk across. After Guido passes, Petrie flies up to keep an eye on him while the rest try to climb up.

The Gang struggle to climb up, but their movement destabilizes the tree and it starts sinking! The kids scramble to cross before it falls and Littlefoot needs to do a big slow-motion leap to reach the edge as it falls out from under him! They pull him up and collapse in a heap, panting for air.

I wonder if this is the same ravine they easily jumped over at the start of 2.

Petrie: "Okay, you guys lie around enough already, Guido still walkin'!"

Cera: "One more word and you won't be walking! Not for a long time!

Petrie (nervous): "Hehehe, me only kidding! Take your time! 'Sides, me think he pretty safe now!"

Petrie looks over and screams, Guido has turned around and is sleepwalking back to the cliff! He clambers and flies forward, trying to catch him, but he's too late, Guido falls. And then something that should have been obvious but they seriously play as a huge twist happens. Guido spreads his wings and starts sleep-flying!

He flies up over them and they gaze upward, awestruck.

Cera: "Hey, you know what I just realized?"

Littlefoot: "What?"

Cera (angry): "We didn't have to do that whole tree thing after all!"

Littlefoot: "Hehe, sorry."

Petrie notices that Guido's flying over the Great Wall into the Mysterious Beyond. He wants to go after him, but Littlefoot reminds him that The Day of the Flyers is tomorrow, he might not make it in time. Petrie thinks it over, but decides saving a friend is most important.

Littlefoot: "We'll be right behind you!"

Cera: "We will?" *he glares at her* "Okay, okay, we will."

I feel like the series has been pretty inconsistent on Littlefoot and Cera's early characterization of "Littlefoot hesitates to start things and then has determination to finish them" and "Cera rushes into things but then hesitates when things get tough" recently, but this is a decent moment to show that. If we're counting this as "the point things get tough".

Guido glides into the Mysterious Beyond and crashes, then wakes up. He asks what's going on, and assumes this is a prank. Apparently there were no terrible consequences for Guido waking up while sleepwalking, so this whole thing was pointless. Then the "ground" starts shaking. Then it stands up.

Oh, cool, a Spinosaurus! Not anywhere near the water, so clearly this 2006 movie hadn't quite gotten the memo on them being semi-aquatic, like crocodiles. But still, one of my all-time favorite dinosaurs getting focus is nice!

Guido falls off and tries to run but then the Spinosaurus bites down! Okay, it ate him, adventure's over, Guido's dead, let's go back home! No, obviously he's not dead. He is inside the Spino's mouth, though, and he tickles its mouth from the inside with a feather, making the Spino laugh until he can jump out.

That was really fucking stupid.

Guido tries to shake off the saliva then runs for it, and the Spinosaurus gives chase! It's just about to catch him when Petrie swoops in to save him, grabbing Guido and flying up with him!

That's impressive, Petrie has consistently struggled to carry Ducky, and Guido's bigger than her. Then again, Petrie has also gotten a LOT of flying exercise recently, and Guido's probably built light, since he's a Flyer, too. Petrie mentions that he's surprisingly heavy, and Guido attributes it to being soaking wet with Sharptooth spit.

The Spino keeps chasing them, and Guido's too heavy for Petrie to get enough height to get out of reach! Petrie's getting tired bobbing and weaving! The rest of The Gang crest the mountain and hear a roar, then look down at the scene.

There's a front-on chasing shot (a lot of those recently), with really bad compositing, they mess up the Petrie and Guido layers, putting Guido's head behind Petrie's legs when Petrie's carrying him by his nape. Petrie asks Guido why he's not flying himself, and Guido retorts that he can't fly! Spike slips and collides with the other kids, knocking them down into the valley! The Spino shifts attention to chase the bigger kids! Petrie bonks the Sharptooth on its head with Guido to try and distract it, but that fails!

Littlefoot leads the gang through a pair of interlacing rocks. Petrie tells Guido to hold out his arms and leg! Wait, and legs? is Guido actually supposed to have the Microraptor's leg-wings, and they just forgot to include them in his design? The Spino roars at them before a bite, and its breath hits Guido's wings, pushing them forward through the rocks and getting the Spino stuck in them!

Petrie lands, exhausted. Littlefoot tells him those rocks won't last forever, and Petrie walks over to rest on his head. There's a weird comedy bit where Guido freaks out at a jaw of sharp teeth but it's actually a Sharptooth skeleton and he apologizes to it for getting mixed up. Cera picks him up, and the Gang run away while the Spino struggles with the rocks and roars in frustration.

Back at the nest, Petrie's mom wakes up and tells her kids to wake up for the big day. While stretching, they notice that Petrie is missing. The Gang have crossed over the Great Wall and are on their way back. Petrie's worried he'll be late, but Littlefoot reassures him that he's got time. Cera tells him to rest up.

Guido: "Oh, this is all my fault! Hey, if you hadn't come to rescue me you'd be home and rested and- and- and ready to go! And I STILL don't understand how I even got there!"

Littlefoot, Petrie, Cera, and Ducky: "YOU CAN FLY!"

Guido: "What? In my sleep?! Okay, how weird do you guys think I am?!"

Cera: "Don't get me started..."

Petrie's siblings are worried what they're going to do without Petrie, and their mom says they'll have to go without him. The Gang have reached the lava pool on the way back, and Petrie thinks it might be better this way if he misses it. Cera insists he's a great Flyer, and Ducky says he flies like nobody else. Petrie points out that's the problem, repeating that the whole point of the Day of Flyers is to be like everybody else. Guido chimes in.

Guido: "But but but-but maybe that's not the problem, m-maybe it's the solution! Eh look, if there's one thing I've had to learn it's that you can't worry about being like everybody else! You just have to be yourself. Just be Petrie, and you'll be fine!"

Where did this revelation come from? Guido was asleep most of the previous scenes, he hasn't even flown yet. The last time he was conscious, he was cheering and celebrating Petrie successfully flying in formation!

Petrie agrees, and they hear a screech. The three judges are flying in, meaning it's just about to start! Littlefoot tells Petrie to go now, they'll catch up in time to cheer for him.

Why are there judges? I thought this was like a bar mitzvah or quinceañera, not a competition.

Tricia also hears the judges screech and she follows them, while Tria and Topsy are still asleep. They take positions on a cliff and Petrie's mom talks to her kids about how they'll have to make due without Petrie. Petrie flies in, demanding to know who said he's not here! His siblings ask where he was and then impress the importance of flying like them. He says that he'll fly like him, and their mom seems intrigued before asserting he'll do fine. The sun rises, and with it, tons of young Flyers in the Valley take to the air.

I didn't know there were that many Flyers in the Great Valley. Usually, when we see crowd shots, it's just Petrie's family and one or two others.

Petrie's family takes off, too, and take formation. The Gang trudge back, very sleepy, but then they see all the Flyers in the sky and wonder which one's Petrie. The Gang cross the creek from before over some rocks, while Tricia plays nearby, staring upward. She trips on a root and almost starts crying, but then a dragonfly distracts her and she chases it.

Petrie's mom watches her children fly in formation with concern, as the judges look on.

I like their designs.

Petrie chants to himself.

Petrie (nervously): "Me fly along with all the rest, me gonna pass the flying test." *he gets more confident* "Me fly real good, me fly okay, me gonna do it Petrie's way!" *more confident* "Me fly real good, me fly okay, me gonna do it Petrie's way!!"

He flies out of formation high above the rest, doing a spin, then returns to the group without hitting them. They're still annoyed at him for messing around. Their mom wonders what he's up to. Littlefoot sees him and Ducky wonders what he's doing. He's doing figure-8 loops around the front of the V-formation, before returning to it seamlessly! Guido climbs up on a tree for a closer look.

When Petrie returns, his antics inspire one of his siblings to break from the group, too. They fly up and spin around like a top, and Petrie praises them when they return. Petrie does another loop, and one-by-one, each of Petrie's siblings break from formation to do one little trick, then return to their spot in formation, keeping the practiced synchronicity while adding spontaneity in controlled bursts! This leads into song 3 of the movie: Flip, Flap, and Fly.

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...goddammit, I am not immune to big showstopper musical numbers. This song rules! The closest comparison point I can think of is You Can't Stop The Beat from Hairspray, and that's high praise. In contrast to Things Change, the animation here is absolutely ridiculously good, constantly moving and shifting and escalating to the big finale!

The lyrics are a little repetitive, but there are enough breaks and solos to keep it feeling fresh. Especially with the judges, I'm so glad the judges weren't sticks in the mud, they're actually fun and encouraging. Which makes sense, they "judge" a children's rite of passage ceremony. It's not a serious competition, and it makes sense they'd be friendly and good with kids.

And the singing is great. Especially with the judges adding low and high pitched elements, they really add depth to the song's soundscape. And the message is great, Guido and the judges especially do a good job with their verses.

I was a bit concerned for the egg, but the song kept coming back to it as a throughline and the resolution there was pretty great with it hatching mid-song.

I'm not really a fan of Mo and the Tinysauruses, and while their cameos are short and fun, they're also confusing. The path from the Great Valley to Big Water involved like two waterfalls and a huge rock, how is Mo here? Also, a huge plot point of the last movie was that the Tinysaurus cave system was destroyed, how were they able to fly through it?

Whatever, that's a nitpick, the song is still fantastic.

As you can see, the song ends on Tricia. She's entranced by all the pretty Flyers in the sky. So entranced, that she doesn't look where she's going and falls into the river! She cries and screams as the current takes her downhill! Her cries wake up Tria and Topsy, who are still asleep even though they were clearly awake and watching during the song (bad continuity). The Gang hear her crying too, and Cera recognizes her little sister's voice and run off.

From his perch in the tree, Guido can see Tricia in the river. He wishes there was something he could do! He flashes back to everyone yelling at him that he can fly, and decides there's only one way to find out, before jumping out of the tree! He flails wildly before the wind catches his wings and he starts gliding. Petrie also hears Tricia crying and splits off from the group to dive down, not caring about finishing the show!

Guido dives down and grabs Tricia out of the water!... using his arms. Which have his wings on them that he needs to fly (a shame he doesn't have wings on his legs like a Microraptor should). He and Tricia immediately fall back in the water! They're being pulled by the current toward a massive waterfall! Guido tries to paddle with one arm, but it's not enough!

Right as they go over the ledge, Petrie dives down and grabs Guido's arm! He's strong enough to fly with both of them! Just barely! And he's slowly descending! So not quite strong enough! He yells for help and his siblings fly down to help, grabbing onto his wings in a V-formation and pulling up together!

You know, I think it'd be more effective if they were just grabbing different parts of Guido and Tricia and lifting, instead of putting all that stress on Petrie's shoulders.

Littlefoot and Cera run up to the bank of the river, and Tricia is so excited to see Cera that she accidentally wriggles out of Guido's arm! She falls, screaming, as Tria and Topsy also run up and gasp in horror! Cera manages to catch her on her face!

Tria celebrates that Tricia is safe and Topsy celebrates that Cera is a hero. Guido, Petrie, and all of Petrie's siblings float down to a satisfied and tired heap on the ground. Topsy thanks Petrie and Guido for saving Tricia. Guido puts his foot in his mouth.

Guido: "Well and-and thank you very much eh-huh, big guy! Eh, I mean, eh, I don't mean that you're, you know, like fat big, I mean that you're big, you're tall, I mean, well of course anybody is taller than me, you in particular, I mean hey, hey you got a nosebleed 'cause look how big you are, I mean ah-heh-heh, I- I really think I'd better go away, buh-bye, big gu- sir, oh!"

Guido exits stage right. Littlefoot points out that Petrie and his family didn't finish the Day of the Flyers, meaning they'll have to do it again. They're okay with that, since it was fun. Petrie's mom comes down and Petrie apologizes, but she's proud of them for knowing what's really important. And then she says that the Day of the Flyers will never be the same again, as the camera pulls back on a huge cloud of Flyer kids playing and swooping around in the sky!

Tricia gets distracted by a butterfly and follows it for a little bit before walking straight up to Cera.

Tricia: "Cewa!"

Her big sister and parents gasps with joy, and Cera nuzzles her.

The camera pulls out as the narrator explains that many changes occurred today and many more would come. Change is a part of life.

The end credits song is just an instrumental version of Flip, Flap, and Fly, not particularly noteworthy.

This was a bad movie that could have been great if it had a few more writing passes.

Like, I can't believe the Spinosaurus didn't come back, especially after Littlefoot literally said it would get out. And then the climax is based around Tricia being washed down a river and Spinosaurus is semi-aquatic, that should literally write itself!

The Spinosaurus is the most nothing Sharptooth encounter in the whole franchise. More nothing than the Sharptooth in 8, at least that Sharptooth got multiple scenes. This just gets one. Absolute waste of a Spinosaurus!

Similar to 11 and 8, this is a film where a huge part of the premise just DOESN'T WORK. Specifically, here it's no-one realizing Guido is a Flyer even though they've met Ichy before.

The whole "Guido sleepwalking" thing, despite being foreshadowed with his first appearance, feels like a cheap plot device to pad for time. It takes up 20 whole minutes of the film and accomplishes very little aside from filling the "adventure, crossing a chasm, Mysterious Beyond, and Sharptooth" quota. And they never answer the question of Guido's amnesia, they never go into his backstory. He just sleepflew here one day and that's it.

Overall, Guido is annoying, shallow, and offensive in the Jewish stereotype he embodies. If he wasn't a stereotype, he'd still be really annoying with how they obviously meant to cast a famous stand-up comedian to play him but couldn't get anyone. But because he's a walking stereotype, that makes him so much worse. He has good moments but they're few and far between, outweighed heavily by his bad and cringey moments.

On the other hand, the other new character: Tricia, is great. She's not NEARLY as annoying as Dana and Dinah. She occasionally gets into trouble, but it's usually very mild trouble, she doesn't mean to, and she's sensitive to when others are angry. She's also genuinely adorable, Nika Futterman did a fantastic job with the baby noises, and that little "Cewa" warmed my heart. Cera barely tolerated Dana and Dinah, but you can feel how much she loves Tricia.

Something I was disappointed by: they didn't even MENTION Pterano! With how Petrie-focused this film is, they should have at least mentioned him, considering how close he and Petrie were. Like maybe have Petrie's mom make a comment that Petrie is very similar to Pterano, they're both individualists who stand out from the crowd, and Pterano had issues with his Day of the Flyers, too. Something like that.

Pros: The Universal logo fake-out. One song is good, another is fantastic. Tricia is great. Petrie and Cera were both great in their own plots.

Cons: Guido offends me. Guido is unfunny, despite constantly making jokes. Guido's sleepwalking wasted 20 minutes. What Petrie's issue is, exactly, is inconsistent. Very bad continuity. Terrible Sharptooth, waste of a Spinosaurus. One song is bad. The writing for the first half is hackneyed and sitcom-y. The climax is tacked-on.

Score: This is a movie with highs and lows. But, frankly, it's a lot more lows than highs. And while some highs are REALLY high, some lows are REALLY low. I'm giving this one a 3/10, with a huge asterisk that it has some genuine 8-9/10 high moments.

The Land Before Time: 8/10 (hypothetical uncut version: 9/10)

The Great Valley Adventure: 8/10

The Time of the Great Giving: 7/10

Journey Through The Mists: 7/10

The Mysterious Island: 9/10

The Secret of Saurus Rock: 2/10

The Stone of Cold Fire: 10/10

The Big Freeze: 6/10

Journey To Big Water: 4/10

The Great Longneck Migration: 9/10

Invasion of the Tinysauruses: 2/10

The Great Day of the Flyers: 3/10

#the land before time #PMC watches TLBT #the land before time xii: the great day of the flyers #land before time

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