#howie goodman

[ruthflemwad]

some hatchetfield text posts bc why not

[charlottesweetly]

pog friday

[spyanotherday]

ifykyk

[awigglycultist]

[im-not-a-l0ser]

President Howie: A portal to The Black and White? What does it do? John MacNamera: Well, without overcomplicating things, it's a portal to The Black and White. You step through it... and then you are in The Black and White.

[gryphll]

it’s over. you didn’t call saul

[ricky-mortis]

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeya Ricky,

Im throwing your ask back at ya. what starkid character would you play if you could pick one? And hey since I added TCB I'd love to hear ur thoughts on those characters too ',:3

Hiiiiiiya Jesse!

Good lord you’ve turned the tables.

As a devout techie whose acting experience doesn’t go beyond reading for people in rehearsal and memorizing monologues for freshman year drama class- I really had to stew on this. Like REALLY stew.

I also took a page out of your book and went through each musical character by character, but I won’t bore you with that whole hectic process. Plus also- I’m not going to include TCB because, as you so aptly said when you answered this, Agent Curt Mega would SWEEP. Not even a competition like- dream role right there.

Uhm but yeah, as far as Starkid roles go- the conclusion I’ve come to is that I would want to play President Howard Goodman from Black Friday.

Ok hear me out right- it’s a small enough role so that it wouldn’t be too overwhelming, I love a good jab at the incompetence of American officeholders, and he’s just a silly pathetic little guy who would be fun to play. I’d have a blast yelling about an eldritch stuffed doll and running around in a goofy little space suit while getting sung at about the inherent capitalist nature of Americans. And bonus if we’re talking roles as well, I wouldn’t be opposed to being shopper #4.

In case you’re curious, other runner-ups were Richie, Ethan Green, and Duke (but I could never live up to Curt’s portrayal of Duke are you kidding?).

[toiletdesytr0ya]

"Oh, Jimmy"

[cheebuss]

ermm what the meow?? he's right behind me isn't he? Xd!! 

meoward hamlin... lalo salameowca... jimmy mewgill... kim whisker

[violetheart77]

Someone take PicsArt away from me I’m a goddamn menace to society

Cropped close-up on John under the cut

(Based on this image)

[jimmymcchill]

when in s5 kim said to jimmy 'you crossed a line, you're not gonna do it again' she wasn't lying or relying on wishful thinking, she said it because now she is the one crossing every single imaginable line instead of him and for him because I mean WHY NOT

[thekimspoblog]

Sheepdog: "Elevator"

Kim continues to doggedly drag herself across the hallway of the courthouse. The elevator is still several yards away, and other people in suits have already packed themselves into it. Just as the doors close and the music begins to fade out, Howard’s voice pierces through the commotion like nails on a chalkboard.

“Kim! Kim! Aha! Was almost worried I wouldn’t catch up to you”

Our heroine just nods, counting the seconds that this exchange has to drag on.

Howard continues, “Wow… Look at you!”

“Look at me…” she parrots, praying the sarcasm is hamfisted enough that he’ll take a goddamn hint.

“It’s just… I had no idea!” the pompous little prince apologized.

“It’s a funny story. Neither did I!” replied Kim.

“How… How do you feel?”

“My back hurts, my boobs hurt, my feet hurt, nausea, dizziness, fatigue. All the hits; all the classics. Truth be told, I feel more beaten up than when I wrecked my car. Then again, they gave me Percocet when I wrecked my car…”

“Well you look great,” Howard had to push it, “You’re glowing”

“Wish I could return the compliment, Howard. But really, you look like hell. I mean you’ve always kind of looked like a wax mannequin, but lately it’s like you’re melting under the lights!”

“How’s the solo practice working out? No offense, but oftentimes even if pro-bono work can be spiritually validating, financially it can feel like a fisherman who’s limited themself to minnows”

“Well, that’s one reason we didn’t spring for a big ceremony” Kim responded through a gritted smile, “But I’ve found my own ways to still put bread on the table. Bootstraps and elbow grease and long nights, and all that”

“You know, I know how difficult it can be to quit smoking. Believe me, it took multiple tries myself. But I was recently reading yet another medical journal emphasizing the harm cigarettes and other tobacco products can do to an unborn child. You have no idea the stress it puts…”

This was a good point for Kim to cut him off, “Howard, are we friends?”

“What do you mean?”

“Because if we were friends, this level of concern would be very touching,” her eyes widened, “But if we’re not friends, this exchange could be interpreted as intrusive, and condescending, and overbearing, and… annoying”

“Well…” Howard’s face broke into a deep frown, “Chuck’s gone… If you and I aren’t friends… I guess I don’t have any friends…”

The elevator finally returned to the ground floor.

“Congratulations, either way…” Howard shrugged, sounding wistful, “Give Jimmy my best”

Kim lugged her heavy briefcase into the compartment and turned around. “This conversation was a treat. I’ll tell you everything, how about next Thursday? We can go over it over tequila shots!”

The doors closed before that life-sized Ken doll could get another word in edgewise.

________

At around 9:45 pm, over 13 hours and several scenes later:

Wexler-McGill are engaged in some blandly cute preoccupation; lavender swaying in the breeze, warm milk, and reveries, all that jazz, when the landline rings…

“Hello?” Jimmy answers, “Oh hey, Ernie! Long time, no talk. I'm going to put you on speakerphone”

“Hey Jimmy… Did Howard ever visit Alamogordo? Trinity Test Site? Was he ever anywhere near White Sands? You and Kim knew him longer than I did”

“Trinity?! Um, no. He never mentioned anything like that. Can you really imagine him mucking around in the desert in his Bontonis?”

“I just didn’t know who else to talk to,” sighed Ernie, “I’ve still got friends at HHM, and they’re all kind of panicking, because they know they’ve basically lost their jobs. But it’s all just so weird! The examiner keeps asking me questions, and nobody here knew him well enough to have any answers”

“Ernie, what are you talking about?” Jimmy tried to interrupt.

“At first, it seemed like a heart attack, or maybe the flu. He was in a cold sweat when he collapsed. Then, early test results were saying kidney cancer, and it went undiagnosed? But apparently - they can’t explain it - the body’s radioactive. Like he walked too close to a power plant. Or he picked up a piece of radioactive glass, or something? His hair was falling out; now the doctors are saying it was radiation poisoning”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down. You’re saying Howard is sick? He’s in the hospital?”

“I’m sorry!” Ernie stammered, “I assumed you’d already heard… Howard’s dead”

“That’s impossible. Kim talked to him this morning”

Kim averted her gaze.

“He refused to take a sick day, said he’d just sleep it off on the couch. He said he felt great afterwards, everything went on as usual, then just as they were all packing up, he was saying something to Marci when he just… dropped. The rest of the employees are fine, but the doctors called in some people with Geiger Counters, and their readings are over 5,000 on Hamlin. A-apparently that’s high…”

“Ripley's…” Jimmy mumbled, quite perplexed but still fundamentally apathetic about any loose threads involving his former boss, “I’m sure more will be in the news in the coming weeks. But needless to say, Howard and I weren’t close, especially not these past few years. I’ve got my own plate full, otherwise I’d offer to hire those poor mailroom comrades who are now out on their asses. This is real spooky. Keep me posted, Ernie”

After a few more patient nods, Jimmy put the receiver down. He looked over to see Kim running her hands over her middle, disturbed. Wasn't this what she wanted? Didn’t she wish for Howard to drop dead? Since yesterday, every obstacle in her path seemed to be courteously moving out of the way. And there was only so much that could be blamed on serendipity.

[kairithemang0]

CHARLES COVEN.

HOWIE???

HOWARD GOODMAN????

WHAT THE FUCK

[awigglycultist]

[calaverage]

Hello, Cal. Uh, is there anyway we can talk again? Privately since — it’s important. Maybe. Not sure what you know already but,,

- @goodman-howie

Uh, yeah I'm free. Anywhere specific?

[angelicwires]

[ Howie groggily sits in his chair, narrowing his eyes at the game. He already, has lots on his back but decides to check up on the rabbit. ]

- @goodman-howie

The little rabbit bounces up to the screen shoving his little face against it as he tries to get to Howie.

…I am not in the mood today. Look you know the drill, food first.