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lord-explosion-baku · 4 years

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Tempting Tempest (Shark!Bakugou)

Shark!Bakugou x mer!reader

warnings: yellow sour fruit, dubcon, blood, violence, strange as fuck words I’d only use while writing monster smut idfk, silly ending

A/N: I know I said I wasn’t gonna force this one out, but sometimes you gotta. This was kinda fun to write, but idk how sexy it is to be QUITE honest. The next time I write mermaid p*rn outside of tempting tempest, it’s definitely gotta be with at least one human, ama. also the ending is a little wacky, pero it made me smile so like maybe it’ll make you smile too. ha...? okiee here’s the thing...vhjdsvhjd

Violent fury compelled you to tighten your hold on your weapon. Like a spear, you flew through the water, firing towards the shark. Too bad for you, he had fast reflexes and as soon as you were close enough, he whipped his tail around and slapped you in the face.

Colliding with the sand bed and a large kelp-covered rock, you struggled to right yourself, when the merman gripped onto your waist. He pulled himself up so his head was leveled with yours. He bared his teeth at you and snapped at your neck. You hissed and swiped your knife at him, missing his chest and cutting into his side. He growled when blue blood spilled out into the water, swirling around the two of you as you wrestled for dominance.

The merman slammed your wrist into the edge of the rock next to you, forcing you to relinquish your dagger. Sharp fingers curled around your neck, quickly stopping your waterways. You dug your nails into his toned arms so fiercely that even more blood flooded around you. Despite the obvious pain you inflicted on him, the merman gave you a sharp, threatening sneer.

“Looks like you do have more fight in you after all.” He teased, tightening his hold. He licked his lips and brought his free hand to your mouth. “Should say I’m grateful that you’re not gonna make this boring.”

Figuring that it was no use clawing at your opponent, you threw your hands down on the sand bed, searching for your lost weapon. Thinking that you were going to throw sand in his face again, the shark let go of your neck and grabbed your wrist, quickly pinning it to your side.

“Not gonna let that happen again, little guppy,” he grumbled. The hand at your mouth squeezed your cheeks together as his hungry, crimson glower bore down on you. “You’re gonna have to learn some new tricks fast.”

You bit down on his narrowed webspace between his pointer finger and thumb, making him jolt back. That offered you enough slack to quickly wiggle out from underneath him, but not enough time to swim away.

Rounding you, the shark took hold of the flimsy part of your tail, sending an excited shock up to your neck. You whined and flipped your tail at him, attempting to hit his face, but he only laughed as he dodged the attack.

“That was cute.” He mocked as he approached you again, ushering you against the giant rock. “That little cry, I mean...think you can do it again for me? Huh, guppy?”

You hissed at him, the fins on the side of your head flaring in an attempt to make you look more threatening. He pushed you back against the wall, your skin grating against the rugged edge of the flat. You winced while he growled, deep and low, baring his sharp, ivory teeth. You couldn’t help but flinch, your fins falling back with a huff. At this, he chuckled, closing the gap between the two of you, his shark’s tail triumphantly swishing from left to right.

“Not so tough now, are yah?” Your body trembled as he grazed his lips against your neck, slowly bringing them up to your ear. “All bark and no bite.”

The purring came back—that deep, mesmerizing rumble from his chest. You hated how easily it got to you—how it made your muscles relax and your mind fuzzy. You scowled at his chest, too afraid that if you looked him in those beautiful, ruby eyes, you’d be lost to him again

The shark put both of his arms against the rock, caging you in with him as your prison bars. “Whatsamatter?” He asked. “You some kinda mute or are you just being a bitch?”

“Oh, bite me!”

“Is that a command or a request?” He gave you his insolent shark-grin as he leaned closer. “‘Cause I will,” he said in a teasing tone, but you knew it was a promise. The heat of his tongue reached the sensitive part of your ear, licking it for just as long as it took for goosebumps to erupt across your arms. He purred, “even if you don’t ask nicely.”

“I’m not asking you for anything except for you to leave me alone!” You barked out, albeit weakly. His chest rumbles were echoing inside your head, lulling you into a trancelike state you didn’t want to fall into.

“Since when?” He inquired impudently. His hands fell down near your hips.

You gestured pointedly behind him, indicating the updraft of sand and blood whirling in the space the two of you previously occupied. He glanced back only for a moment, not willing to take his eyes off of you for a second too long. He smirked, finally closing his hands on the part of your body where your torso met your fluke. They were rough, calloused from experience—hunter’s hands. You fought off impending thoughts of having those hands graze every inch of your body.

“Thought that was just foreplay.” His whisper was husky with provocation as his thumbs circled your hip bones. He took the hand you were using to point at the aftermath of your fight with into his. “It’d be no fun without any chase.” He lightly bit down on the carpal side of your palm, his dangerous eyes daring you to react. You merely shuddered against him, an act he seemed to enjoy.

“Foreplay?!” You squawked, bemused. You tore your hand away from his lips and quickly dug your fingers into his side, right below the place you’d cut him. It was healing fast, but some sapphire oozed out, nonetheless. “I cut you!”

He laughed, making his abdomen tighten underneath your touch. You inhaled sharply, and pressed your palm into him, enjoying the feel of his tight stomach. Gods damn you, he was hot.

“What’s one more scar?” He took your hand and moved it up his chest, satisfied to know you liked the feel of him. His skin riveted underneath your fingertips as he drew you over his various markings from previous fights. “I’m sure there’ll be plenty more where that came from—at least, if you’re the kinda mate I think you’ll be.”

“I don’t even know you,” you said, though that was a weak riposte. It wasn’t like you were around long enough for any merman to bring you pearl bracelets and hidden treasures just to have you fall into their embrace. Though, if you had, you wouldn’t be dealing with a shark right now.

“Katsuki,” he said smugly. “Figure you should know the name you’re gonna be moaning for the rest of your life.”

“As if.”

“And you are?” Katsuki completely ignored your retort. “Honestly didn’t think that ‘Guppy’ was all that fitting for a cute, little mermaid like you, but if that’s what you prefer-“

You scowled, ignoring the way your heart stuttered when he called you cute. His lips tilted sideways.

“Nah, you’re too high and mighty for guppy, aren’t you?” He continued, wedging himself closer to you. You felt cool gusts of water blowing against your shoulder and down your back as he drew nearer, his low purring reverberating down your tail. His lips were against your neck as he suggested, “right, princess?” You shuddered against him again as he kissed the sensitive spot on the skin below your gills. “Oh you like that, huh-“ his voice dropped an octave-“princess.”

Despite yourself, you groaned, turning your head so he could angle himself better, suckling on your tender flesh. You slanted your hips into him, hands moving up his strong, muscular back, to his neck, weaving through the surprisingly soft, ash-blonde hair. You tugged, and his growls mixed in with the rumbling only grew louder as he continued to kiss you.

Something thick and heavy pressed against your belly and through foggy eyes, you saw two massive erections, each with jelly-like fluid seeping out from the tips. Your mouth fell open on a moan as you imagined either of the two—if not both—entering you, all previous resignation sinking into the sand beneath you.

Your free hand trickled down his abdomen, loving the way he twitched at your soft caresses. You touched the tip of one of his dicks, and he grunted, a bit of white spurting into your palm. Enjoying his reaction, you rubbed your hand up and down his shaft, squeezing his base as he wrapped an arm around your back.

“Fuck.” He rasped, rutting into your hand. “Touch my cock like that and I’m not gonna be able to control myself.”

“You’re controlling yourself?” You mocked uneasily, tail slapping against the rock.

His nostrils flared. “More than you know.” The hand behind you moved down to your backside. He drew circular motions in the thickest part of your tail behind you, squeezing your flesh, making your fluke shake with anticipation.

“Tell me to fuckin’ stop,” he murmured noncommittally, pressing his cocks harder against your tail. With both hands now on your tail, he moved one over to the puffed out slit below the middle of your hips. He dipped a finger into you, testing out the undoubtedly viscous truth of your velvety walls. He moaned, loving the feel of you, loving the way you whimpered as he touched you. You watched as his pupils grew large, dark, and predatory, as he added a second finger to curl in and out of you. “Tell me you don’t want me to wreck your sweet little pussy right fuckin’ now, or I’m not gonna stop. Once I’m inside you, baby, there’ll be no turnin’ back—even if you beg me.” Something low and animalistic echoed out of his throat at the thought. “Though hearing you fuckin’ beg doesn’t sound half bad right now.”

“Katsuki-!” You started to mewl, but were cut off by his lips descended onto yours. It was a desperate kiss with strong, erratic tongue. He tasted you like you were meant for him—frantic, like he couldn’t get enough of you. Not knowing much about what to do with yourself, you squirmed against him, but he hardly seemed to care. If anything, your resistance only spurred him on.

Grasping onto your wrists, he pinned them against the rock behind you, using one hand to lock them into place. His now unoccupied hand cupped your face as he deepened the kiss. He traced his touch down to your neck, your collarbone, and found ménage at your breasts. He tweaked your pert nipples until they were hard and dark from arousal.

You felt him smirk against you when you finally touched your tongue to kiss—the first of the many triumphs he was going to hold over you. He swallowed your downing moans with fervor, biting down on your lower lip when you attempted to resist again. You cooed.

“Goddamn, you’re fuckin’ gorgeous, you know that?” Katsuki’s hands slid down your torso, lingering around your navel when you let out a little squeak. He chuckled. “So ready to be mated, too. You liked being chased around, didn’t you?”

“I-“ you breathed, your heart racing with both excitement and dread-“I don’t know!”

“So coy all of a sudden.” He snickered, grasping onto one of his clasper-pricks. He gave it a couple pumps, letting tendrils of the thick, white seed flutter around in the water. He pushed his member against your slit, letting your own slick membrane cover his thick cockhead, readying him to take you. “That’s okay,” he muttered, “looks like your cunt already knows for you.” He exhaled. “Say my name again—like you did the first time.”

“Kat...suki…?”

“Good girl,” he purred, pressing his cockhead into you, biting back a groan as he did so. Gods, it was unbearably huge. You shot him a panicked look, but that only made him all the more hungry.

“Wait-!” You wiggled, unprepared for the stretching you felt as he pushed into your tight hole. You cried out as he thickened, even while constricted by your walls, not even at his hilt yet. “Wait, please, I can’t—!”

“What’d I tell you, princess?” His voice grated against your soft cheeks, warmed from fluster. “Said there’d be no turnin’ back, didn’t I?” Even still, he pulled back, easing into you slower the second time, pressing in, inch by withering inch.

“God damn, you feel so good wrapped around my cock, hon,” he grumbled thickly, mesmerized. He pulled back once more, and when he pushed in again, he grooved his hips up, pushing even more of his girth deeper inside of you.

“Fuck!” You cried out, attempting to twist away from him. “It’s too much!! I can’t take it!”

“Relax,” he crooned gruffly, petting the erect bud above your slit. His touch sent waves of unfamiliar pleasure rippling through your body despite the terrible corruption battling inside you. You tightened around him and he groaned.

“My gods, baby. The hell are you doin’ to my cock?” Katsuki nestled into your neck, licking at your gills. “Such a good girl—so fuckin’ tight for me, huh? You’re gonna take me so well, I know it.”

Your body wavered—almost complying. Katsuki began rolling into you at a charitable pace, caressing your body, thumb encircling your clit, stimulating you just enough to keep your mind away from the pain. However, when he lessened his hold on your wrists, one of your hands broke free. You pushed against him, writhing and feral.

That was when he bit you.

Scorching affliction shot through your shoulders, down your spine. Your tail spasmed against his, your soft scales scraping against his fine exterior. You wailed and dug your nails into the thick muscles of his back, but that did nothing to tear Katsuki away from you. His grip on you was vice, impervious to any sort of protest. In fact, the more you tried to get away, the closer he pulled you, rutting into you faster, your bodies spinning through the ocean as he locked you into matehood.

Just as you thought you couldn’t take any more of the tremendous cutting feeling his shark’s teeth had your neck, the burn mitigated. He wasn’t holding back—if anything he was digging deeper into you—but as his mark melded into your skin, your body relaxed and you began to enjoy the pain. The feeling was purely hypnotic.

Katsuki began to push more of himself inside of you, and you easily accepted him. Your tail twisted around his as his hips slapped against yours. You arched your back, feeling your walls fluttering around, and you sighed his name on a moan. His arms curled around your waist, squeezing your sides, loving the feeling of your bodies, hot and needy, pressed together.

“Mmmmfuck.” Katsuki pulled away just in time to see your crimson sanguine swaying out and away from his toothy grin. His pupils were so dark and wide that you could hardly see any of the red left in his iris. He was loving this.

“That’s it, baby.” He praised you, licking your cheek. He reached around his back to move your arms so they were around your neck. He groaned when he buried his girth to his hilt, making sure that you and him were as close possibly. “You’re all mine now, aren't cha? Mine-“He speared himself into you with each clipped word. “All. Fuckin’. Mine.”

“Fuck...yes, Katsuki,” you moaned, feeling a tight, aching coil inside of you as his large palms roved over your body. He squeezed your curves, kissed your chest, all the while sweltering inside of you.

“I knew I fuckin’ wanted you the moment I saw you hidin’ away from all those loser fishdicks bringing those mersluts trash just to get some tail,” he panted. “Thought you were sneaky, huh? Thought you wouldn’t be noticed?”

Katsuki pulled your hair, forcing you to face him head on. “Nah, couldn’t let a cutie like you slip away. Couldn’t let any other bottom feeder try to take you, neither. Fuck, you’re gonna be my perfect mate.”

Your inner walls quaked as he ran circles around your clit. “W-what is…?” You began to ask on a hard thrust that hit you perfectly. Your coil bursted and you convulsed around him, squealing as he rutted into you harder and faster. You clenched, again and again, as you pooled over and out with each of his world-ending thrusts, ecstasy completely enveloping your entire being.

“Oh, that feels fuckin’ great, princess,” he growled into your hair. “Good girl, cummin’ for me so soon like that. Fuck,” he rasped, “bite my neck before I fill you up, baby.” He leaned back a drew a finger ong his gills, indicating exactly where he wanted you. “Be my girl.”

You leaned up to drive your tongue up his neck. He shuddered at the contact, still fucking you relentlessly, dragging against your thickened walls. You bit down, hard enough to draw blood, to leave your mark, while you wove your fingers through his soft locks.

“I’m gonna fill you up with my cum. Is that what you want, princess? You wanna feel all of me?”

“Yes, gods yes!” You cried, bucking into him, needing more.

“Say my fuckin’ name, angelface. I wanna hear that sweet voice of yours.” He grunted, biting harshly into your shoulder, tail swishing, hips stuttering.

“Katsuki, please, give me your cum. I wanna feel you baby. Please! Please!

Katsuki came with a roar, lining your walls with his thick, hot cream. He buried his cock inside of you, emptying himself completely, still managing a few more languid thrusts as he planted sloppy kisses to your lips. He groaned into your mouth, loving the taste of your more than compliant tongue.

“Gods, that was-,” he exhaled, lifting himself off of you. He took your hand and guided you up with him, pushing your head into his chest. “-that was god damn hot. You’re gonna be a lot of fun, huh?”

You watched as he shook his two dicks, mesmerized by the residual pink and white swirl of the both of yours’ wash, before his members folded back into his pouch. You parted your lips on a question that didn’t come.

Katsuki snickered. “What?”

“Were they both-“ you festered down below his stomach-“inside of me?”

“Tch! If I had both of my cocks buried in you, I promise you’d know it.” He rolled his eyes before kissing your forehead, suddenly all too familiar with you. “Why? That wasn’t enough for you? I can go again if you aren’t already full to the brim.”

“Oh no!” You glanced down, unsure. “I mean...I don’t know, I was just curious…”

Katsuki chuckled, tilting your chin up to bring you into a kiss. “You wouldn’t be able to handle it, princess.”

“You don’t know that,” you barked back, suddenly all too familiar with him. “I can handle fucking anything you throw at me!”

“Filthyy language, baby. You kiss octopi with that mouth?”

“Are you kidding me?!” You choked. “Hypocrite!”

“Man, you really are gonna be a lot of fun, aren’tcha? So easy to tease.”

“I was just curious!” You threw your hands up into the water and spun around, casting out a sardonic, “you’re incredible.”

Katsuki wrapped his arms around your torso, bringing you back against his chest. “I know.” He kissed the back of your sore neck. “If you really think you can handle it, I sure as hell don’t mind findin’ out.” He brought both of his hands down to your stomach. “After we get you something to eat. You weren’t gonna catch that marlin all by yourself, anyway.”

“I was before you interrupted me,” you bit out, leaning into his touch.

“You think so?” You felt him grin against your skin. “Alright then, let’s find you a marlin and make a deal: if you can take it down all by yourself, I’ll fuck you so good, you won’t be able to swim straight—with both of my cocks.”

“The hell kinda deal is that-?!”

“And if you need my help-“ he continued-“you’re gonna hafta suck them both off.”

You snorted. “In which of these scenarios do I profit?”

“The one where you get a nice meal, a hot mate, and a nice kelp bed to lay in.” He shrugged.

“Kelp bed?” You turned your head at him, looking hopeful.

“You have such nice lips, I can’t wait to know how they feel wrapped around my cock.”

“Kelp bed?” You reiterated, shrugging him off, trying to figure out which direction that marlin swam off to. “Which scenario has a kelp bed in it?”

“Both of them, idiot. I’m not gonna let any mate of mine sleepin’ on some fuckin’ coral or whatever the hell you’ve been doin’ while tryna hide. Do we have a deal or not?”

“Dunno-“ you swam out farther, trying to be nonchalant about your new pursuit-“do you have said bed?”

“You’re really not sneaky,” he snarked, already swimming after you.

“Maybe not,” you laughed as soon as your eyes narrowed in on a giant fish, “but I am fast.”

(Try again...?)

No more tag list, sorry.

#bnha x reader #bnha reader insert #reader insert #bnha imagine #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader #katsuki x reader #mermaid!bakugou #mermay #tw dubcon #tw blood #bnha au #lemon #tempting tempest #merman x reader

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iam93percentstardust · 3 years

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@saganarojanaolt and I were talking about orcas being vilified in like every documentary ever and then somehow we ended up on the topic of Tony as a killer whale-mer so here’s a moodboard and a tiny fic for @tonystarkbingo

Title: Part of Your World Collaborator: iam93percentstardust Card Number: 4012 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27800764 Square Filled: R3 - Teenage Tony Ship: Winteriron, Team as Family Rating: T Major Tags: Mermaid AU, Tony Needs a Hug, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting Summary: Tony grows up without a pod. Howard doesn't believe in pods, after all, even though nearly every other killer whale-mer out there has one. But the Stark patriarch is convinced that he's too good to need a pod, too special, too skilled a hunter. Pods are for weaklings who can't hunt for themselves, not for the likes of Howard Stark. Uncharitably, Tony thinks that maybe a pod might have saved Howard from the kraken. Word Count: 965

Tony grows up without a pod.

Howard doesn't believe in pods, after all, even though nearly every other killer whale-mer out there has one. But the Stark patriarch is convinced that he's too good to need a pod, too special, too skilled a hunter. Pods are for weaklings who can't hunt for themselves, not for the likes of Howard Stark.

Uncharitably, Tony thinks that maybe a pod might have saved Howard from the kraken. Slightly more charitably, he thinks that a pod might have saved his mother too, but she had never even lifted a finger to save Tony from Howard's vicious words and sharp teeth, so he can't bring himself to grieve longer than the required amount of time before he sets off into the ocean, determined to find a pod for himself. The ocean is a dangerous place for a lone mer, even for an orca like Tony.

The problem is, his kind aren't exactly looked favorably upon, even by other dangerous mers. Orcas are seen as deadly, unnecessarily cruel, and vicious, likely to turn on someone for their next meal and definitely not the kind of person that any mer wants to be seen with. There's a reason orca-mers live together and rarely leave their pods. Tony had never even seen a lone orca before Howard and Maria were killed.

He searches for a pod for years, swimming from one part of the ocean to the next, looking for a place - a family - to call his own. But he's as unlucky on his own as he was with his family. He never finds a pod and, more often than not, he finds trouble. As Tony grows from his childhood into his adolescence, he finds himself getting caught up with two tiger shark-mers, Tiberius and Obadiah, far more cruel than his kind could ever be, but willing to offer him a place to stay for at least a little while. Tony accepts, desperate to feel like he belongs somewhere - anywhere - even though he knows Tiberius and Obadiah just want him for his species, believing that he'll be able to help them hunt. It's a mistake. They use him, abuse him, and when he's finally abandoned after a battle with one of the great leviathans, he drifts in the empty ocean, weak and injured and likely dying, fully believing that this is where he belongs.

It's Pepper who finds him, Pepper the beautiful jelly-mer who takes his bleeding, broken body to the sea witch. Yinsen places a pearl in his chest and tells him that as long as it glows, he will live. He spends three months with Pepper and Yinsen, the happiest months of his life, and he wishes that he could stay forever though he knows that would be impossible. He is an orca after all and while Pepper and Yinsen are both dangerous mers in their own rights, neither of them deserve to be saddled with an orca.

And then - and then.

The day he finally decides to leave, that he can't keep imposing on Pepper and Yinsen, a mer swims through the cave entrance. And not just any mer - someone like him. He stares at the beautiful merman with his black and white tail, sleek dorsal fin, and perfectly shaped flukes. His left arm is badly mangled but that doesn't even remotely hide how gorgeous the mer is. Tony finds himself completely unable to tear his gaze away from those rippling pectorals, at least that is, until he hears a chuckle.

Slowly, he raises his gaze to the mer's, who is watching him with a strange mix of amusement and heat in his eyes. "And who might you be, angelfish?" the mer asks him.

Tony blushes at the thought of this mer calling him pretty. He hasn't been pretty in a long time, he's covered in scars and there's a pearl in his chest and - and he aches to be pretty again.

But then the mer asks him curiously, "Where's your pod?"

Tony looks away. How can he say it? How can he admit that he's never had a pod, that he's never been good enough for a pod? "I-" he begins and then falters. This beautiful mer thinks he's pretty and even though he knows he's not, he's not ready to lose that look in the mer's eyes just yet.

"Gone, huh?" the mer asks sympathetically, and when Tony looks back at him, there's no disgust in his eyes. It's been a long time since anyone other than Pepper or Yinsen looked at him like that. "Mine too."

"You're alone?" Tony asks, surprised.

The mer shakes his head and Tony's heart starts to sink again. "Nah," the mer tells him. "I found a new pod, one made up of mers just like us." He tilts his head, considering Tony. And Tony just knows that it's coming, knows that he will be found lacking again, just as he always is. But then the mer does something surprising: he holds out his hand to Tony. "Come on, I'll show you."

Maybe it's a trap. Maybe it's another mistake, just like Tiberius and Obadiah were. But...

But he wants.

He takes the mer's hand, lets him lead him out into the ocean where he can hear the pod now, see them as they come zooming up to meet the mer. They don't even hesitate over seeing Tony there, just tease the mer about picking up yet another stray. The mer's hand tightens on Tony's as they listen to the ribbing, like he thinks maybe Tony will leave after he hears it. He doesn't. He can't, this is what he's wanted all his life, and now that it looks like it might be within his reach, Tony is never going to let go.

#tsbmiv #alle writes #winteriron

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this-is-a-podcast-fanblog · 4 years

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Happy Birthday @rudzik-art!

As many of you know, Robin (@rudzik-art) is turning 20 today. As a surprise gift for them, I took an AU we talked about and turned it into a fic! (So, today is not only a celebration of Robin’s birthday, it’s officially my return from fic hiatus.)

But that’s not enough to mark an occasion as important as a 20th birthday, so I got some of our favorite artists involved as well! Read it on AO3 to see it with the art.

Fic Summary: Juno Steel, pirate of the ship Carte Blanche, did not expect to net a mermaid today.

I give you: Juno Steel and the Brine of Deception

The day seemed ordinary when Juno woke up. He lay in his hammock, watching the square of light on the floor waver as the Carte Blanche rocked in the waves. Or maybe just because he was still really hungover. The crew had stayed up late making toasts and singing shanties last night, and that had involved quite a lot of rum.

“Ughh.” Juno sat up and began to unwrap his hair.

"Mornin', Mate Steel!" His roommatey, the exceptionally clever Rita, beamed at him from her hammock. "How are ya feeling?"

"Sick," Juno grumbled. He climbed out of his hammock and padded over to the washstand. "I've got to get off this rum."

"Yeah, Mate Steel, I told ya that swill Ms. Vespa brewed ain't good for ya."

"I know." He glanced at her in their broken mirror as he lit a candle, which hung from the ceiling in a glass bottle. "Did Buddy say if we're docking today?"

"Nah, she said last night that we’re just doin’ chores again." Rita watched Juno adjust his eyepatch in the mirror and rocked forward in her hammock. "Why? Did you wanna go ashore?"

"Eh, not especially." Juno tied his eyepatch on and started towards the door. "It's not like I mind being on this stinking ship where my legs feel like jelly and…." He sighed. "You know what, Rita, let's talk about this later. I've got a busy day to start on."

“See ya, Mate Steel.”

Juno stepped out into the hallway of the ship. He stuck his head into the galley to grab an orange from a bowl on the counter and plucked away the curling peel with his rough, uneven nails as he creaked into the hall. Down the hardwood floors and the few puddles from leaks, he bounded towards the staircase that led from the ship's quarters to the main dock.

“Captain’s waiting for you,” snarled Vespa as soon as Juno’s head appeared above decks.

“Morning to you too, Vespa.”

Vespa frowned and went back to twisting a knife around in her teeth. A briny sea breeze rustled the bandana tied around her forehead. “Good morning,” she muttered, like it was a concession. Then abruptly she crossed her tattooed arms and cleared her throat. “Now get a move on. The captain doesn’t like to be kept waiting.”

“Duly noted.” Juno ducked past the first mate’s glare and strode down the deck. He tossed his orange peel overboard, but a breeze caught it, and spun it back onto the deck, where it was pinned abruptly under a heeled leather boot.

Captain Aurinko’s dark eye studied Juno from under her hat. In her broad-shouldered coat, criss-crossed with belts that dangled swords and pistols, she was intimidating with a streak of devilish intrigue, and she smirked as she lifted the orange peel from the deck. “You ought to clean up your trash, Juno.”

“Captain A.” Juno rubbed the back of his neck and sheepishly plucked the peel back from the captain. “Sorry about that.”

“Not to worry, darling. Shall we sit down?” Captain Aurinko neatly unfolded a scroll from her belt and spread it over one of the barrels nearby. She and Juno perched on surrounding barrels. “Our schedule is fairly lowkey today.” Her leather-gloved fingers traced Juno’s name, written in ink on a list. “I want you to check the nets and get some fishing done. Don’t complain,” she added, as Juno rolled his eye. “You’re the best at it, darling. After that, go over the stores with Jet, and then I’m sure Rita would appreciate it if you tied up your shared room a bit.”

“Seems like a slow day,” Juno observed. “What happened to ‘high adventure’ and all that?”

“That’s taking a back seat at the moment.” Captain Aurinko pursed her lips. “To be honest, darling, I worry that our current crew isn’t… properly equipped to handle missions of the capacity I have planned.” She rolled the map shut. “But that’s no concern of yours. On your way, darling. Come find me if you need anything.” The captain stood, dusted off her coat, and glided away to take her place at the ship’s wheel.

This job is somehow way more than I expected and not what I expected at all. Juno sloshed through the inch of water in the cargo hold. The nets lay all tangled together, and it took a few long minutes of blistering his fingers on their ropes to untangle them. Hell, I probably should have just stayed on the Mars continent.

And yet the Mars continent had never been home to him, not really. Not since the constables and the law had seen to condemn him over a few childhood tavern brawls and turn him into a wanted lady. As a child, Juno had always promised his brother (may his soul rest in peace) that he’d leave and be an explorer one day. That just ended up looking different than he imagined.

Still, Juno reflected as he dragged a net up the stairs. It felt like something was missing from his life. Some final adventure he needed to conquer, or maybe some event that would set a grand adventure in order. Right now he just existed, drinking rum in the mornings and evenings and sloshing about on the sea with all the rats and the treasures and people he didn’t know if he could trust. Rita aside, of course.

The net rigged into the pulleys, Juno cast it over into the ocean. Within a few seconds, it vanished beneath the rolling blue waves. Juno rested his arms on the railing and sighed. What he needed, once he finished his tasks today, was a good long nap, and maybe a cup of coffee instead of rum, assuming they still had coffee in the stores. Then he should mend the patch in his work breeches, and afterwards -

The weight in the net shifted abruptly. Juno frowned and stood up from his slouch. Sure enough, when he tested the rope, there was an uncommon weight to it that hadn’t been there a moment ago. A large school of fish? A small whale? Maybe an octopus. They’d caught an octopus last week, and Captain Aurinko still wrote with the ink they’d extracted from it. Whale oil could be useful too, plus good for trade too. Juno eagerly tightened the opening of the net and began to pull it up. It was heavy, but Juno was a strong lady. He ground his feet firmly to the deck and pulled again, harder, heave-to heave-to against the struggling of his catch. Finally, a splash confirmed that the net had risen above the surface of the water. With a few more final pulls, Juno hefted the net alongside the ship. He quickly tied the rope around a wooden post nearby, to secure it taut, and ran over to see what he’d netted; and there, lying in a tangle of rope of seaweed, was the most supremely beautiful man Juno had ever seen.

No, not a man, or at least, not a human one. Because, Juno realized upon closer inspection, humans didn’t have a silver-blue tail where legs should be, or gently pulsing slits along their throats, or webbed ears, and they certainly didn’t have nails as long and sharp as knives. The mermaid turned his head. His ink-black hair sat plastered to his face with dripping seawater, and when he opened his eyes, Juno saw that they were the same ink color all the way through. Blue scales glimmered along his cheekbones. His face and body sparkled with droplets of seawater, like small diamonds, and here and there wet strands of seaweed clung to his bare chest and arms. He was utterly terrifying, and yet, Juno had never seen anything so exquisite.

“Well?” hissed the mermaid.

Juno blinked. “Well, what?”

“Oh, honestly.” It was hard to tell with no irises, but Juno thought the mermaid might be rolling his eyes. “You pulled me out, you quite clearly wanted me for something. I suppose you’re one of those humans that eats mermaids, aren’t you?”

“Huh? What the hell, of course not.”

“Hmmm.” The mermaid plucked a lock of seaweed from his neck and flicked it back into the sea. “Now you’ll say you’ve grabbed me by accident.”

“Obviously.”

“Obviously.” He imitated Juno’s tone and smirked, slightly. His teeth were just as sharp as his nails. “You’ve never seen a mer before, have you?”

“‘Course I have,” Juno scoffed, suddenly on the defensive. “In… storybooks and stuff.” The mermaid lifted his eyebrows. “Listen, I’m new to this whole pirate thing, okay? I just wanted to grab some fish for my crew’s larder. You weren’t exactly part of the plan.”

“Ah.” The mermaid shuffled forwards and wrapped his hands around the ropes above his head. “So you’re not going to eat me.”

“I’ll chuck you back in, if you want.”

The mermaid giggled. He leaned forward and reached one of his hands through the net to grab Juno’s chin. Juno jolted and, with instinct, brought up his knife and pressed it to the mer’s sternum. “So defensive,” the mermaid purred. His thumb swiped over Juno’s jawline. “You have a shaving nick right there.” The very tip of his nail pressed into Juno’s skin for a minute, and then he retreated. “Well,” he said. “I’m afraid you can’t chuck me back in, love. You see, in your eagerness to haul me up onto this rowboat of yours, you tightened your net quite fiercely. Now my poor tail is injured. I can’t possibly swim.”

“What?”

“So you may as well cut me down. It looks like you’ll be stuck with me for a while.”

Juno narrowed his eyes. “How do I know you’re not lying?”

“Oh yes, because I would lie so I could spend several days hanging around with a crew of pirates? You’re not that cute, love.” He reached out his hand again. “But, if you’re so determined, I’ll tell you my name. You may call me Glass.”

“Glass. Hi, I’m Juno Steel.” Juno sighed heavily. The Captain’s gonna love this. He pulled the net over the railing and lowered it carefully to the deck. Glass smiled up at him as Juno freed him. Juno stepped back and rubbed his forehead. “Great,” he sighed. “What the hell am I supposed to do with you now?”

“That depends, how adventurous are you?”

“God damn it.” Juno tossed the net aside. “It’s too early in the morning for me to have a mermaid hitting on me. You just - stay there while I go get the Captain.”

“I don’t have much of a choice,” Glass called after him, but Juno pretended not to hear.

II.

“So,” said Buddy delicately. “This is quite a predicament.”

“I’ll say,” Vespa snarled, smacking her fist into her palm. “We have a crowded crew already, and then Steel goes and lands us with an injured fish to take care of.”

“Hey, don’t drag me into this.” Juno raised his hands innocently as Vespa shot a glare in his direction. “Listen, I’m not the one responsible for this. It was this guy who swam right into my net.”

“Oh sure, the fish is to blame for your stupidity.”

“The fish can hear you,” Glass trilled.

The crew stood in their spare hold, positioned awkwardly around a basin of seawater. Glass lay primping in the water, finger-curling his hair and watching the five pirates from under his long lashes. Juno couldn’t help but notice that the mermaid’s gaze seemed mostly to be fixed on him. Rita, who watched countless plays about mermaids, hung star-struck at Juno’s elbow, clutching her face in her hands.

“Ain’t he so preeeeeetty, Mate Steel?” she whispered into Juno’s ear as the captain and the first mate deliberated amongst themselves. “He’s just like one of them old paintings, or like, like something right out of a play, ya know? He’s kinda scary too, though, but in a really nifty way, don’tcha think! It just - just -” She scrunched her forehead as if searching for the words.

Frannie, the parrot perched on Rita’s shoulder, squawked, “Shiver me timbers!”

“Yeah, exactly!” Rita beamed. “It shivers me timbers! Shivers ‘em real good, don’t you think he’s pretty, Mate Steel?”

Glass lolled in his basin, running his sharp nails over the fine webbing at the end of his tail. He winked at Juno. Somehow, the lady got the sense that Glass could hear everything Rita was saying; but more than that, it was as if he could hear everything Juno was thinking. Like those solid black eyes could see things normal eyes couldn’t.

“He’s something, alright,” Juno murmured.

“What I do not understand is how he came to be injured.” The quartermaster, Jet, stood by Rita’s other side with his arms crossed. Jet always wore the same thing - baggy brown breeches, a ragged white shirt, and a brown jacket so enormous that it could probably serve as a backup sail if the Carte Blanche ever needed one. He wore his long silver hair tied up in a ponytail. Despite their difference in personality, pirating ability, and three feet of height, Jet and Rita were close friends, second only to Rita’s bond with Juno. “I do not believe our simple fishing net would be strong enough to damage a mermaid’s tail.”

“Well, you’d have to ask him about it.”

“There is no need to be defensive, Juno.”

“Whatever, you’re all on my case, and I’m getting pretty tired of it, big guy.”

Across the room, Vespa and Buddy drew away from each other and turned to face the rest of the group. “Alright, darlings,” said the captain. “We’ve thought this over -”

“More like we’ve argued it,” Vespa muttered.

“Peace, love.” The captain laid her hand on Vespa’s arm. “After some deliberation, Vespa and I have decided that we cannot abandon the mermaid back to the sea with an injury. We may be pirates, but we are not monsters. He will stay here until he recovers from his injuries.”

Glass giggled and slid his tail back into the water. “So generous of you.”

“You’re welcome, darling.” Captain Aurinko smoothed back a stray lock of her hair. “Additionally, since Juno was the one that injured him, Juno can be the one to attend to him.”

“What.”

“You heard me, dear. You’ll bring him his food, refill the water in his basin, and see to any medical needs he may have before he’s recovered. Any questions?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ve got a question, how come I’ve got to -”

“Then if there are no questions, the meeting is dismissed.” Buddy smiled and took Vespa’s

arm. “We’ll see you all later. First we have some things to... attend to.” Vespa shot one last glare in the others’ direction before following the captain away to their cabin.

“Well,” said Jet. “If that is all, I will return to my repairs of the Ruby 7 lifeboat.”

“Hang on, you can’t all just -”

“I’ll go with ya!” Rita said, ignoring Juno’s protests. “Bye-bye, Mate Steel and Mistah Mermaid!” And she skipped after Jet, Frannie flapping behind them both.

Juno sighed heavily and turned back to Glass. The mermaid had his arms folded on the rim of the basin, and his head cocked at an inquisitive and seductive angle. He smiled. “Well,” he said. “It seems that it’s just you and me.”

“Don’t get too used to it, I’ve got lots of chores to do.”

“Oh, but the Captain said you needed to look after me,” Glass beamed. “Doesn’t that mean I’m at the top of your chores list?”

Juno glared down at the mermaid. “Fine. Tell me what you want and make it quick.”

“Oh, it’s quite simple. I just want someone to talk to.”

The pirate blinked. “Are you kidding? You want me to hang around here and talk to you?”

For a moment, the mermaid’s flirtatious smile vanished. His inky eyes narrowed, and he glanced away from Juno before speaking again. “I’m not trying to force you if you don’t wish, Juno, I simply… hoped to get to know you better.” He glanced back at Juno quickly, and Juno started.

He’s not… no. He can’t be. Not me.

So he shrugged and grabbed a nearby stool. “Sure,” he said. “Great.” He leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms. “What do you want to talk about?”

“I’d like to hear more about you, of course.” Glass lifted his eyebrows. “Juno Steel. Juno. A goddess on the high seas. Although - pardon me - you don’t seem entirely suited to this profession.”

“Yeah.” Juno fiddled with a spare thread on his blouse. “Didn’t plan to be a pirate, originally. I wanted to go into law, but then I found myself on the other side of it. With my brother.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “We’d always planned to leave the Mars continent together, but then...” The pirate sighed deeply. “He… he’s not around anymore.”

Glass watched Juno quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah. Thanks.” Juno cleared his throat. “Anyway, Rita and I have been friends for decades. Business partners. She’s a locksmith, and I’m an informant, so sometimes we worked together.”

“I see.” Glass leaned forward on his elbows, and his smile sharpened a degree. “Not such an upright lady, are you?”

“Hey, careful. I still have my morals.” Juno crossed his arms behind his head and leaned back. “Anyway, she did a job for Captain Aurinko and put two and two together that she’d been hired by a pirate. Suggested that I could give the Captain any information she needed, and together Rita and I got her out of a tricky spot. So, the Cap offered us spots on her crew.”

To Juno’s surprise, as he narrated to the mermaid, he found himself enjoying the conversation. Glass was a good listener, and seemed interested in Juno’s life in a way that few people had been for a long time. Every lady needed to feel special every now and then, and Juno was no exception.

“So,” he said eventually. “Mermaid. What’s your life story?”

The mermaid still smiled, but something about his demeanor had changed. “Oh, Juno,” he said. “I don’t have a story, and even if I didn’t, I wouldn’t tell it to anyone.”

“Huh.”

Glass sighed and leaned back in the water, lounging with his arms on either side of the basin. “I’ll leave you be,” he said theatrically. “Thank you for keeping me company.”

“Yeah.” Juno got up, feeling strangely regretful. “No problem.”

Juno finished up his chores and took a nap to sleep off what remained of his hangover. Afterwards, it was time for dinner, and for the first time since joining the crew, he didn’t eat with everyone else. Instead, he brought two plates to Glass’s room and they ate together, chatting about things they’d seen on the sea.

“I swear, it looked like an underwater city. Whole thing, made of coral.”

“Oh, I’ve been there. It’s not a very long swim from here.”

“Really?”

“Mmm. Pretty place.”

And Juno kept thinking about the mermaid that night, as he lay in his hammock. The ship’s rocking and Rita’s snoring usually lulled him to sleep, but tonight felt different. Every time he tried to doze off, he was struck by the thought that Glass lay just down the hall, with his dark eyes and his sharp smile. Maybe the mermaid was lonely. Maybe he was having trouble sleeping, too, and would want company.

Finally Juno’s curiousity overpowered him, and he got out of bed. Rita and Frannie were both deep asleep, but he put on his slippers to be extra quiet, then lit a candle. He was about to slip out the door when he heard a loud thud. But not from the direction of Glass’s room. It sounded like it came from the ship’s treasury.

What the hell?

He snatched his pistol and slipped out of the door. Juno crept along the hall, keeping close to the wall with his candle outstretched before him and his pistol at his side. He moved along the right-hand side, so that nothing could creep into his blind spot, but still the creaking of the ship and the uneven sway of it unnerved him. Again, the clinking noise sounded from the treasury. He could see the doorway. Juno took a deep breath, counted to five, and whipped around the corner.

Glass looked up from the chest he was elbow-deep reaching into and frowned. “Ah,” he said. “Well, hello.”

It was Glass, but… human. As far as Juno could tell. He had legs, normal ears; his eyes were regular eyes, with gorgeous dark brown irises. He wore a short white dress belted with a corset, as well as a knife strapped to one of his distractingly gorgeous thighs.

The pistol trembled in Juno’s hands. “What,” he breathed, “the hell.”

“Careful, now, there’s no need to wave that thing around.” Glass raised his hands, both of which clutched long ropes of pearls. His teeth were less prominent, but still looked thrillingly sharp. “I can explain everything.”

“Yeah?” Juno stepped closer and pointed his gun at the mer’s - the human’s - heart. “Start talking.”

“I understand this is confusing, Juno. In some ways, I’m glad you’re the one who caught me. It means we get to have a secret.” Glass stepped closer to the pirate. “Just for the two of us.”

“You were a mer,” Juno sputtered. “You were injured.”

“Looks can be deceiving.” Glass covered the quivering barrel of Juno’s pistol and pointed it away from himself. “Juno, listen to me. Whatever you think I am, you’re wrong. But I can tell you. I will tell you. I’ll tell you everything, if you want to know, but you must promise me you won’t alert your captain.”

“Why not?” Juno snapped. “You’re robbing us. You lied your way onto our ship and - and just so you could get our shit while we slept?”

“Well, it’s not really yours, now is it?” He was so close now. Juno could feel Glass’s warm breath on his cheek, followed a few seconds later by his knuckles. A shiver ran through him involuntarily. Glass chuckled. “I trust you, Juno, and I can’t have you giving me away now. Please.” He leaned down and whispered in Juno's ear, “I’ll give you whatever you want.”

The words drifted into the pirate’s mind and melted over his senses like slow honey. He shivered in the brine-aired night, and in the warmth radiating from Glass’s presence. It was a sensation so strong, so all-encompassing, that for a second Juno didn’t even notice that warmth had retreated. He snapped to his senses just in time to watch Glass disappear out the door.

“Hey - HEY!” he shouted. “Get back here!” Juno sprinted after Glass as the long-limbed thief bounded up the stairs towards the deck, and into the open air. The deck’s rocking motions were more obvious here, swaying Juno back and forth on his own feet as he fired a warning shot into the night air. “Glass, you bastard -! get back here!”

Glass paid him no heed. Dripping pearls and laughing, he crossed the deck in a burst of speed. Juno stumbled after him. He can’t get away, the pirate thought, he has nowhere to go - and as soon as the thought entered his mind, Glass leapt over the edge of the railing and out into the open night.

“NO!” Juno shouted. His momentum carried him the rest of the way, and he ran right into the banister, wrapping his arms around it. Below, he saw a flash of silver scales as Glass disappeared beneath the rolling waves. Juno stared, dumbfounded. He had no time to process, or to call for the captain, before suddenly the ship lurched again beneath his feet and sent him tumbling headfirst into the waves.

III.

The water crashed into him. Juno gasped as the cold ensnared him, but the gasp let in a rush of frigid water into his lungs, making him sputter. His arms struggled weakly. His fists clutched handfuls of seawater as the weight of his clothes and the tossing of the waves dragged him under. For a singular moment his head parted the surface of the waves, but before he could even taste oxygen, the water closed over him again. Juno couldn’t breathe. His lungs burned. All he could feel was that burning and the numbing coldness. And then, suddenly, he felt something wrap around his waist.

Juno looked down and gave a garbled yelp of surprise. Glass was at his side, holding him close. He wore the strings of pearls around his neck, and he wrapped one of them gently around Juno, holding them together in the tumult of the water. Juno fell still. Black dots swam before his vision, and the cold seemed to sting his bones, but the mer’s arms were warm, and Juno instinctively drew closer to him.

“Juno?” Glass murmured. His voice sounded distant. “Juno, stay awake. I can help you breathe, but you have to stay awake -” His hands clutched Juno’s shoulders, but the detective could barely feel them. Glass’s face moved closer to his. “No, stay awake - I can only help you if I breathe for you, and I can’t do that if you’re not awake to say so - no no no, keep your eyes open for me! Please, Juno -” His grip tightened in almost frenzy. The black dots blurred the edges of Juno’s vision. His entire body felt made up of this pain intensifying in his lungs. “Juno, I can save you, just give me a yes, please don’t black out, please don’t -”

Juno could barely feel, but with what little strength he had left he tried to nod. His forehead tipped against the mer’s shoulder. Glass drew back and cradled Juno’s face in his hands, and then, strongly, he pressed his warm lips onto Juno’s mouth. Oxygen entered his body slowly, like warmth dripping slowly down his throat. Juno felt something like life beating in his chest, and he almost tasted sea salt, but before he could reflect on anything he was feeling, the black dots swelled to cover his vision, and everything faded away.

When Juno came to, he found himself lying on a cool stone. The world above him slowly came into vision: a cool, dark cave, striped with damp vines that dangled from the ceiling. He felt cold water lapping at his ankles, and heard soft singing in the air in a haunting language he didn’t recognize. Weakly, he lifted his heavy head and looked around to get his bearings. Through the mouth of the cave, Juno could see the sun rising on the horizon, and the golden glow bled into the cave as if it were paint spilled across the water’s surface. Glass lounged on another rock, drawing ripples in the water with his fingertips, still in his mer form and glistening with pearls. After a few seconds all of Juno’s senses fell into place, and he realized the mermaid was the source of the music.

“Glass?” he called weakly.

Glass stopped singing and looked over. His shining face lit into a smile. “You’re awake.” He rolled off of the rock and vanished with a faint splash into the water, and then a moment later emerged dripping wet by Juno’s side. The hand shifted and a moment later Glass’s face appeared above him.

“Juno,” he sighed. “Here, let me help you sit up. How are you feeling?”

“Unghh.” Juno rubbed his head as the mer helped him into a sitting position. “What the hell happened?”

“You blacked out.” Glass shifted back a few inches to give Juno breathing room. “Are you feeling alright now?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Juno sat up higher on the rock. Glass leaned on the side, with his arms folded and his head tipped to one side. His scales shimmered. “You saved my life,” Juno said. “Didn’t you?”

“Well, I wasn’t going to let you die, Juno.”

“You kissed me.”

Glass stirred his fingertips through the foam brushing up against the rock.

“You kissed me. You stole from my crew, and then you saved my life. Why the hell would you do that?” The water lapped quietly at the edges of the cave.

The air misted before Glass’s lips while he breathed, and his gills pulsed. A drop of water slid down the slope of his forehead.. “I had a very straightforward plan,” he murmured eventually. “I’d been tracking your ship for a while now, you see. I saw that big fellow rowing above me one morning, so I swam to the surface to see what was going on. When I noticed that chest he was loading onto your ship, I decided to track you all. I knew you must have some kind of treasure, and I wanted it. I hid under your prow, or swam near you. Then one morning, a net dropped, so I seized my chance and swam into it, and then….” He turned his head and fixed his black eyes on Juno. “Well, then you messed up my whole plan.”

Juno started to speak, but Glass talked right over him.

“You, all fascinating and charming, with your fed-up attitude and your adorable pout.” He smiled. “I don’t meet people very often. I’m usually on the move, either on land or in the water, and I never have time to… to chat with someone I find attractive. And then,” he chuckled, “I decided to forget you and go through with my plan anyway - and you came to stop me! Leaving me to save you, in the end.” He shrugged delicately. “What can I say, darling? You are beautiful. I want to know everything about you.”

Glass closed his eyes and rested his head on his folded arms. Juno watched him, with his heart drum beating in his chest. Around them the water was turning golden. Juno watched him, and thought, He thinks I’m beautiful.

“What are you, exactly?”

The mermaid lifted his head. “Hmm?”

“I mean, you’re a mermaid, right? But then when I saw you in the night, you had legs, your eyes were normal -”

“Ah. Weren’t you listening?” Glass smirked. “Shapeshifter, love. I can be a mer or a human as it suits me, but I’m never just one for very long.”

“Huh.” Juno thought about that for a moment. He could feel his pulse in his throat. “And you’re a thief, apparently.”

“You can have your pearls back if it bothers you that badly.”

“Honestly?” Juno took Glass’s hand in his. “Right now I kind of just want to pay you back for saving me.”

Glass looked up. He met Juno’s eyes and let the pirate draw him up onto the rock, and as the golden light spilled far enough across the water to light them up, they kissed.

It was like oxygen-giving, but better. Glass’s lips were soft and sweet, and he tasted like the ocean. Juno felt the sunlight falling across their shoulders, and both of Glass’s hands twisted gently in the front of Juno’s shirt. He dragged him closer and their kiss grew deeper, with Glass’s tongue slipping into Juno’s open mouth, and Juno wrapped his legs around the mer’s waist. They didn’t break apart until it was physically hard to breathe, and even then, only far enough for the mermaid to press his forehead to the pirate’s.

“Glass isn’t my real name,” he said, breathless.

“Yeah, no shit,” Juno gasped. “Christ, you’re a good kisser. Okay. What is your real name?”

“It’s in Mer. You won’t be able to pronounce it.”

“Oh yeah? Try me.”

“Nąuhréyęvhve.”

“What the fuck kind of name is that.”

The mermaid with the unpronounceable name laughed and dropped a quick kiss onto Juno’s cheek. “It means dancer.”

“Yeah, I still can’t pronounce it. I’m just gonna say Nureyev.”

“Nureyev.” The mermaid tried it, head tipped to the side. “Nureyev” He turned to face Juno again and smiled. “Hmm. That does have a nice ring to it.”

And they kissed again while the sunlight grew around them.

IV.

Captain Aurinko liked to think of herself as a level-headed person, but right now, Juno Steel had her worried. “It’s no big deal,” Vespa had told her. “He vanishes at the same time as the mermaid, so what? The mermaid guy probably talked his ear off, and Steel just got annoyed and chucked him overboard.”

“Then where is Juno?”

“It is possible we overlooked some part of the ship when we checked,” Jet suggested.

Vespa smirked. “Or he’s screwing the mermaid somewhere.”

“How would that -” Rita had begun, but Buddy decided that Rita should go check the stores, and Vespa should go check the crow’s nest, before they could have that conversation.

Now, she stood on the deck by the ship’s wheel and watched the horizon through her telescope. All she saw were the unchanging waves. Buddy sighed and lowered the telescope from her eye. “Come on, Juno,” she murmured. “This crew won’t work without you.”

Behind her, the deck creaked under footsteps. “We checked the crow’s nest,” said Vespa. “Didn’t see anything.”

“Us, either,” called Rita as she and Jet emerged from the lower stairs. “Mate Steel just ain’t here at all.”

“Rraw! Mate Steel ain’t here!” squaked Frannie.

Jet furrowed his brows. “I think,” he began heavily, “that perhaps we must consider -”

“No,” said Buddy. “We’re not giving up yet.”

“Buddy.” Vespa laid a hand on her arm. “Listen, we don’t know what this mer guy might have done, okay? We should start makin’ the assumption - Rita? Are you okay?”

Rita had begun to cry, holding the end of Buddy’s long coat and using it to dab her eyes. “I-I’m sorry, matey,” she sniffled. “It’s just, I’m rememberin’ that in plays mermaids eat people sometimes, and I don’t want Mate Steel to get e-eaten, ya know? An’ that mer-guy had such really sharp teeth an’ I don’t wan Mate Steel to di-i-i-ieeeee.” She sobbed loudly and blew her nose on Buddy’s lace trim.

At that moment, a loud splash sounded from the ocean. The four turned around in time to watch the Juno and the mermaid course up on a jet of seawater and collapse onto the deck, where they lay sputtering in a puddle. Juno’s clothes clung to him, soaking wet, and the mer wore a tattered white dress. “Hey, guys,” Juno coughed.

“What the hell?!” exclaimed Vespa.

“MATE STEEL!” Rita ran across the deck and threw her arms around Juno’s shoulders. “You’re alive! Oh, Mate Steel, we was so WORRIED, I thought somethin’ terrible’d happened to ya, where’ve you BEEN Mate Steel? Did he kidnap ya? Did he hurtcha?” She glared at the mermaid and fumbled for her little dagger. “I swear, if you hurt one curl on my Mate Steel’s head, I’m gonna -”

“I’m fine, Rita.” Juno sat up and helped the mermaid to his feet. Buddy blinked, sure she was seeing something wrong - perhaps the rum had gone to her head. The mermaid had legs now. “Guys,” said Juno. “Nureyev’s here to return some stuff he took.”

“Oh.” The mermaid laughed nervously. “I thought I was just dropping you off.”

“Nureyev.”

“Fine, fine.” He reached into his pockets and pulled out all the strings of pearls that should have been in the Carte Blanche’s treasure stores. Buddy raised an eyebrow as the mer-turned-human - Nureyev - held them out to her. She took them from his hands and eyed him.

“I was under the impression that mer usually only have tails,” she said lightly.

“I’m a shapeshifter.”

Vespa and Jet said, “a what?”

“A SHAPESHIFTER?!” Rita exclaimed. “Wow!!! That’s so COOL, Mistah Nureyev! Like, like in that really great play that came out last month, Squares and Triangles and Also Sirens? Wow, that play is so GOOD! Can you turn into anythin’ you want, or just a mer and a human?”

“More importantly,” said Buddy, “how long were you planning to use your abilities to rob us?”

Rita fell silent. Nureyev smirked. “Quite a while,” he admitted. “Juno simply… altered my initial plan when he spotted me last night.”

“Ah. So that’s where you’ve been.” Buddy smiled as Juno blushed and ducked his head. “Well, it seems there’s simply one way to resolve this whole mix-up.”

“Yeah!” Vespa drew her scimitar and pointed it at Nureyev. “I say we tie him up and make him walk the plank!”

“Rraw! Walk the plank!” agreed Frannie.

“That is impractical,” said Jet. “If he walks the plank, he will simply transform underwater and swim away. I propose that we throw him in the brig until we reach port. We can decide from there.”

“Hey, c’mon, none of this is making sense,” snapped Juno. “He gave all the pearls back.”

“You’ve certainly had a change of attitude.”

“Yeah, well you could use one, Vespa, and here’s another thing -”

“Enough, darlings!” Buddy held up her hands. “That’s enough. I have an alternative proposition.” She marched across the deck and stopped before Nureyev. “You possess interesting skills, Nureyev. Skills that I think our team would find very useful. And, since I’m sure Juno will vouch for your character, judging from the fact that he’s wearing your lipstick -”

“Hey-”

“- you have an in.” She held out her hand. “If you want it, darling, there’s a place for you here aboard the Carte Blanche.”

Nureyev glanced over at Juno, who stood watching him with hopeful eyes. A smile grew across his face. “Well,” he said. “I must say, it’s nice to finally be appreciated.” And he shook Buddy’s hand.

~~~~

“...aaaand that’s my idea for a stream about us!” Rita set down her stack of papers and beamed around at the rest of the crew. “Whaddaya think? It’s good, ain’t it?”

“It is exceptional,” said Jet in a grave tone. “I am moved to tears.”

“I dunno, I think it’s a little unrealistic in a few parts.” Juno gestured to the portion marked as chapter five. “I don’t really see why I’d let a mermaid kiss me while I’m drowning.”

“You totally would, Mistah Steel!” Rita clutched her story defensively. “You’re just horny for death!”

“I’m what?”

“In my case,” said Nureyev, over the laughter of the rest of the crew, “I don’t see why I’ve been characterized as a mermaid.”

“Every pirate stream has to have a mermaid, Mistah Nureyev? Ain’t you ever seen High Seas of Saturn? The Ghost Ship that Also Has Zombies? Pirates of the Carribean 207: Oh My

God When Will This Franchise End?”

“Hmm. Doesn’t ring a bell, I’m afraid.” Nureyev shifted Juno’s position on his lap and rubbed the lady’s thigh. “My introduction scene was on point, though. After all, Juno does love me in fishnets.”

“Shut up,” Juno mumbled, blushing. Nureyev chuckled and kissed his neck.

Buddy took another sip of her tea. “You’ve created quite an interesting story, darling. I’m glad it’s kept you entertained. I know our long periods between heists can get tedious, but I’d say this has been fun for all of us.”

“Oh yeah, this part.” Vespa waved a section of Rita’s script. She’d been writing notes on Rita’s finished pages throughout the reading process. “Where it says my arms are covered in tattoos. I’ve only got twenty tattoos and only six of them are on my arms, so I thought that was kind of unrealistic, kid.”

“I’m taking artistic license, Miz Vespa!”

Vespa narrowed her eyes and grabbed her knife. “Are you saying my tattoos aren’t already artistic?”

“N-no! Fine, I’ll change it!” Rita snatched the page back and began to doodle furiously on it. Jet leaned close.

“Do not listen to the haters,” he whispered. “You have created a masterpiece of television.”

“Thanks, Mistah Big Guy.”

“You are welcome.”

“Well, this has been entertaining.” Nureyev tapped his fingertips on Juno’s knee. “If there’s nothing else that you require, the two of us will probably go to bed…”

“No, you can’t go to bed!” Rita frowned. “Whaddaya mean? We’re just gettin’ started!”

“Rita, you’ve read us your entire story,” said Juno. “What else is there.”

“I’ve read you the pilot episode.” Rita reached behind her and grabbed an enormous stack of blank notepads. “But now, you’ve all got to help me plot the rest of the first season!”

The rest of the crew looked at each other. Juno sighed and got up from Nureyev’s lap.

“Fine,” he said. “I’ll get some coffee started. Looks like we’re gonna be here a while.”

The End

Big thanks to @in-consist, @awalkingparadox11, @scintillart, @hemaris, and @acadieum for all the incredible work they did!

#happy birthday @rudzik-art!#love you #the penumbra podcast #juno steel #peter nureyev #rita penumbra #jet siquliak #buddy aurinko #mermaid AU #the art in this is incredible #do yourself a favor and go see it on AO3 #or see if the artists have posted it here on their personal blogs

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tss-ragnarok-au · 4 years

Text

Chapter 1

Warnings: Blood, takes place just after a traumatic event, a few death mentions and jokes about dying, swearing

Word Count: 1,532 (I’m trying to keep the chapters relatively short so I can get them out on a regular basis)

Author’s Note: This has been a long time in the works. I’m kind of emotional sharing it, but don’t mind me. Welcome, and enjoy!

Generally, when your best friend shows up at your door, you don’t want them to be covered in blood. With this in mind, you can imagine that Logan was not entirely pleased when his best (and only) friend appeared exactly as such.

Up until that point, it had been your average apocalyptic Tuesday. Logan had been following his to-do list, which was most likely the only thing keeping him sane on his own. His family had decided to follow the theory most widespread on the internet and split up. If there weren’t so many humans in one place, maybe all the monsters wouldn’t notice them. This theory wasn’t scientifically proven, but then again, neither were any of the others. Scientists didn’t exactly have the… resources required to perform such experiments, and, because all of the mail had been shut down, they couldn’t keep accurate records of who lived, who died, or how. But with the internet mostly still up and running the Ateneos had scraped up the data from the most reliable resources they could find and run with it. Literally.

Logan’s father took his little sister Mercedes about a few thousand miles Northwest, his mother had taken Logan’s abuelo South, and last he’d heard they were still moving until they found someplace safe to settle for a while. Logan had been left to look after their little house. His family had figured they were going to give him a little more independence when he turned seventeen anyways. Odd how such things tend to work out. The airlines shut down the day after his birthday, so his family had stayed until the last moment they could, which ended up being around 10:47 a.m. and left him there. Alone. But it was okay, because Logan had his log and his to-do list.

Tuesday, July 2nd: To Do

Wake up (approximately 6 am)

Eat breakfast (1 slice of toast, 1 egg)

Read (at least 2 chapters, no more than 4 chapters)

Call Mami (remember to ask about her whereabouts, location apps still down)

Eat lunch (one serving, no matter what)

Paint (use moderation)

Send Mercedes a picture (yourself and/or the painting) and make sure her mental state isn’t suffering too much

Update Log

Check in with Patton (via text, see if he can come over tomorrow)

Practice Archery (set the net up first so you don’t lose arrows, be alert and aware of your surroundings)

Eat dinner (again, one serving exactly)

Research/practice knife techniques

Go to bed (approximately 10 pm, no bluelight after 9:30)

This had been going perfectly right up until it hadn’t. He’d gotten out the bread and peanut butter and had the raspberry jelly in his hand when a quick, loud knocking interrupted his lunch preparations. He held the jelly jar at an angle from which it could be easily used as a weapon and warily unlocked and opened the door.

That is when Logan Ateneo found what appeared to be his best friend splattered with something red that was most certainly not his beloved Crofters.

“Patton?” he asked warily. His friend’s eyes and smile were just a bit too wide and his skin was a bit too pale.

“Uhh..Last summer we rode the ferris wheel, I asked you what a cephalopod was and you told me all about them. When we were at the top you almost dropped your phone showing me a video of a mimic octopus.”

Logan didn’t have the best memory and Patton was speaking irregularly fast, but the absolute terror of his precious cell phone dancing nearly out of his grasp over a 213 foot drop, as well as the opportunity to talk about his beloved cephalopods had burned the incident into his mind. He stepped aside and let Patton in. One day Logan was sure he was going to wholeheartedly believe his friend was a shapeshifter or the other way around because his memory was such absolute garbage. That was how he would die. He opened his mouth to ask about… well, about a lot of things, but Pat spoke before he got the chance.

“I’m really out of it, and I can’t tell if I’m about to cry or puke but oh lord, one or the other is coming so I’m gonna try to get this all out before it happens. Okay? Okay. So I think maybe zombies or like, beta mer-zombies just attacked my house, I have no freaking clue where most of my family is, I’m like 90% positive they’re coming this way next, uhh I’m pretty sure you can drive and I can’t, and we gotta get out of here.”

Logan took a moment to mentally unpack all of that.

“Wait, the zombie creatures are coming now? As in at this exact moment?”

“Pretty sure”

“Then could you please explain why we’re still standing here?” Before waiting for an answer, Logan grabbed his dopey friend by the arm, making a mental note to figure out why he was acting this way later, and pulled him along as they ran to the car.

He couldn’t see anything as he rushed past, but he wasn’t taking any chances. He shoved Patton haphazardly into the passenger’s side before nearly breaking his own leg slamming the door as he slid into the driver’s seat. He reached over and buckled Patton’s seatbelt after his own as his friend stayed frozen in place. A distant growl made the hair on the back of Logan’s neck stand up. He hit the gas and everything from there was more or less a blur.

***

It wasn’t until they were on the highway that Logan calmed down a little and Patton brought up an excellent question.

“Hey Lo… Where are we going?”

Logan hadn’t thought that far ahead. He didn’t dare pull over but he let himself drop his laser focus for a moment to think about the answer. He was silent for a while. Then, a very… interesting idea came to mind.

“My uncle’s cabin in the woods.”

“That sounds like we’re gonna die.”

“Odds are, we’re going to die anyways. I am entirely serious. It’s out in the middle of nowhere, fairly distant, there are plenty of resources in a pinch, my uncle left a long time ago, and the last person there was his ex, who dropped off the map a few months ago.”

“You do realize how ominous that is, right?”

“Do you keep in touch with your relatives’ ex-boyfriends?”

“Eh….” It was clear Patton had drifted off again. Logan switched lanes to head towards the cabin, but his mind was working much faster, trying to figure out if Patton had some kind of rune cast on him, or if he’d perhaps suffered head trauma, or-

“Oh. I see.” Logan realized. He waited a moment for a response. His friend continued to stare out the car window, his fingers twitching in half-minded fidgets. “Pat?”

“What?”

“You’re in shock.”

“Huh. Wait-I thought…” The gears started turning in his head, “I thought you got that from wearing socks on the carpet…”

Patton then proceeded to burst into tears.

With the reading Logan had done on psychological shock, that was to be expected, as all of Patton’s emotions that he’d disconnected from had come flooding back with the realization. This information did not, however, give Logan an adequate way to deal with the situation.

He settled for awkwardly patting his friend’s hand and respectfully looking away.

***

Patton’s crying slowed to a sniffle just as Logan pulled the car from the paved road to a bumpy dirt path. They sat in silence for a while, bouncing over the rocks.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah.”

“I’d prefer if you didn’t lie to me.”

“Shit happened, I don’t think I can process it right now.”

This caused Logan more concern than the crying. Patton only swore when he really didn’t feel good.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Patton didn’t respond.

“Is,” Logan became quieter as he began to realize the severity of what had happened at Patton’s house, “Is everyone okay?”

Patton bit his lip and slowly shook his head. He hesitantly held out his hand, and Logan laced his fingers through Pat’s.

Squeeze.

They stayed like that until the gravel driveway crunched under their wheels. It led to what appeared to be a very nice cabin that had been left to suffer by Nature’s hand. Ivy covered one wall entirely, and had begun creeping across the front and back of the house. Moss crawled over the roof. Logan could spot at least three bird’s nests in various nooks and crannies. And that was just the outside.

Patton stared at it for a moment. Just as Logan thought he was about to remark something about the beauty of nature reclaiming and building upon what humanity had made of it he said,

“How fricking rich was your uncle? This thing is huge.”

Logan had just opened his mouth to respond when a howl swept through the trees, sending a shiver through his entire body.

“Perhaps, discussing things inside would be better?”

“I always have wanted to die in a cabin in the woods!”

Asks are now open for Logan and Patton!

#tw blood #tw death mention #patton sanders #logan sanders #sanders sides #sanders sides au #ragnarok!patton #ragnarok!logan #ragnarok au #ragnarok fic

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myrainydayloves · 5 years

Text

Jealous-ish

Zed feels a little jelly because people know Annaka and he thinks maybe she might be better off. But it’s big brother to the rescue with a drunk recording and a sappy Annaka.

Annaka had put a curse on him, he was sure of it. It started this morning while he entered the Libra office and saw her leaning over the couch, pointing something out on Stephan’s pad. Her breasts practically front and center thanks to the couch’s side and the way Stephan smiled at her caused that icky churning feeling to return in his gut. Like he should snap her up right there and run out of the office for good.

But before he could move, Annaka noticed him and smiled. “Hey, baby. Have you had breakfast yet?”

“Yes, thank you.” Even he noticed the short clipped tone he took and touched his throat in shock. Annaka simply shrugged it off, returning to pointing out things on the pad.

As she listed several spots in the city where various women had been attacked recently and had a bit of their blood sucked, Zed helped himself to coffee. He leaned against the table and got a fine view of her butt barely peeking out from under her dress.

Pink panties.

Not that Annaka was the type of girl to choose based on color but it was cute none the less. As if she felt his stare, Annaka jumped a bit to lean further over the couch and revealed more of her ass for split second.

He turned and set down the coffee cup, berating himself for staring so unabashedly. He was not some peeping Tom or sex-crazed manic and Annaka was a person worth of his respect: girlfriend or not. White hot shame pricked up his neck at the thought of her finding out and pulling her dress down embarrassed.

“I’d pay to find out what’s going through that pretty head of yours, My Prince,” Annaka said, now leaning against the couch’s back watching him.

Zapp shoved him out of the way for want of coffee, mumbled about him thinking of the ocean of some bullshit.

“That would be cute! Baby, can I ask if your mind’s in the sea instead of head in the clouds?” Annaka asked.

Sipping his coffee, Zapp glared at her. “I didn’t say it so you could add it to your dumb relationship!”

“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed! Girl kick you out at light again?”

“Stuff it, you literally sleep with the fishes every night!”

“And what restful sleep I get, dear brother! I can’t imagine all those lumpy mattress do your temperament any good!”

“Don’t you have some cat to save out of a tree?!” Zapp snapped at her.

Annaka held her hands out in peace. “I probably do, honestly. Good luck today, Zapp.”

Her brother gave some non-committal response, speaking into his coffee cup. Annaka turned to Zed and so sweetly wished him a good day. With a kiss pressed to his cheek, she left to go make the city a better place. Even Stephan gave her a light send off which made Zed pause.

Since when were Annaka and Stephan friends? Lovers?

No no.

He commanded himself to stop thinking and start paperworking, stealing glances at Stephan sho sat on the couch humming. Zed decided to play it casually.

“So how do you and Annaka know each other?” He asked.

“Same way everyone around here knows Annaka. Either through Zapp or through her work.”

“Have you known her for long?”

Stephan set down his pad and glanced at Zed. He smiled. “Yes, we’ve been lovers for years now.”

“What?!”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Get that weapon out of my face. Relax, nothing’s going on. Annaka just stopped by to report some stuff and see you for a bit.”

Zed cooled down, not thanks to any ice magic, and let his thoughts return to paperwork. But they wandered as soon as he thought he had a hold on them.

Would Annaka be happier with a man like Stephan? Older, experienced, decently rich? They both enjoyed the finer things in life and Annaka did love to be pampered.

He could just imagine Stephan having the younger Annaka barely wrapped up in his sheet, naked and sucking chocolate from his fingertips. Stephan would practically be robbing the cradle as it were and he would probably love the innocent touch of the younger Annaka. And her pleasure in being worked by an older, firmer hand than his.

And human, his brain added.

So engrossed in this terror, Zed didn’t notice Leo waving a hand in front of his face. “Earth to Zed,” the young boy called.

“Ah, sorry, Leo.”

“It’s no prob. You seem lost though, everything okay?”

No.

“Yes, thank you for asking.”

Leo obviously didn’t believe him, perhaps the All Seeing Eyes were good for lie detecting as well? But he mercifully let the idea drop in favor of telling him about a new party game he’d just bought and how they should come over to play.

“Oh? Sounds sweet, hope you don’t mind getting your ass handed to ya,” Zapp threatened, cracking his knuckles. “Playin’ against Annaka’s givin’ me mad skills.”

“She’s pretty intense,” Leo relented. “Last time we played together, I really thought she was going to cry.”

“Huh? You makin’ my baby sister cry?”

“No no! It was a horror game and the jumpscares freaked her out! I should have turned the vibration off though. That might have helped.”

Before Zed could even begin to rein in his thoughts, they were a vision of Annaka sitting next to Leo on his bed. They could play games and be lazy all day together. No need for a deep conversation when Annaka could be noshing on potato chips and laughing at the horror with Leo.

But then she would be so scared, basically sitting in his lap for comfort. Vision Leo stroked her sides and whispered comforting words to her.

He was touching her and soon enough her legs were spread. Annaka leaned back against Leo as he played. She was giggling, kissing his lips, his soft human-

“Zed!”

Snapping back to reality, he saw both Leo and Zapp looking at him.

“You okay, buddy?” Zapp asked, seemingly genuine as Leo echoed his concerns.

“Fine,” he replied.

But his heart hurt. Was he keeping her from a happier life with either of them? Could she secretly be longing for them and feel trapped with him?

As often as they talked honestly, Annaka’s feeling remained an enigma to him. She loved him. He knew that but whenever he brought up others, she dismissed him as being paranoid and silly.

What if she was going behind his back and-

“Helping me pick out cute bras,” Chain interrupted his thoughts.

“Ewww, don’t bring up my sister helping you pick out that crap!” Zapp cried before smirking. “Unless that’s your way of getting me to think about you nake-Ow! Ow! I was-Ow! Joking!”

“You can make a lot of jokes in hell,” Chain replied coolly.

But now a whole new swarm of thoughts hit Zed. Of Annaka and Chain comparing breasts, feeling. He didn’t have breasts! Was that something-

“Dude, chill out. What’s wrong with you today?” Zapp asked.

Zed sighed and rested his head on the table. “What if Annaka doesn’t like me?”

The room was silent.

And then it was filled with laughter at his expense. Everyone was laughing at the doubt in his mind and the ache in his stomach.

Zapp slapped him on the back. “What bullshit! She totally likes you, Dude! Here, here, I was saving this as blackmail material but I think now is the time to play this trap card.”

From his phone, Annaka’s voice floated out of the speakers.

“Art, philosophy, poetry?” He heard her hiccup. “Where do they make em and where can I get twenty more?”

Annaka was so drunk, Zed could smell the wine breath from the recording.

“Ah ha! And all the gentlemanly crap? Ugh, does he-does he know how kissable he is? He’s so dumb...with his...pretty face and smooth voice...what’s a girl to do but fall in love?”

“You’re in love with Fishcake?” Zapp asked incredulously.

There was a pause before Annaka answered, “Yeah...is that lame?”

“Super lame.”

“Fuck you!” She slurred. “Zed is so cool and nice! Everyone should be in love with him! All those butterflies...poetry...and he’s handsome too! God! That bod?”

“I don’t wanna hear this-“

“Wait! Wait, just wait! Abs? Tiddies? His skin’s a little cold and sometimes is a little slimy but hey! That’s kinda cute! I like em slimy I guess! He’s so….” She let out a flurry of stomach butterfly making giggles. “I wanna have his half fish babies, just wanna keep him with me forever.”

“Zapp?” Asked a high pitched voice.

They all looked over to see a bright pink Annaka staring at them in horror. Zed didn’t even know darker skin could get that level of red but she was blushing hard enough to stain her face permanently.

“Yesssss?” Zapp asked.

Annaka blinked. “I...hate you.”

“Mhm, save it for the judge. Your fish fry was getting all jelly that you might wanna fuck Leo.”

“Zed?”

“I didn’t say that!” Zed cried, jumping to his feet.

“There’s more, you wanna hear?” Zapp asked, wiggling the phone.

“No!” Annaka cried, leaping for the phone. In true big brother fashion, Zapp held it above his head and out of her reach.

Her drunken self continued, “Zaaaapp, what if he wants a girl like Chain! She’s so pretty and with-“ Another hiccup. “Those huge perky boobs! And KK looks like a sexy supermodel! No! I want him all to myself! He’s my boyfriend!”

“Relax, I don’t think those two will be going out for fish sticks anytime soon.”

“Well they should. He’s so wonderful...oh...oh my Prince. My wonderful sweet prince. I just wanna snuggle buggle wuggle him and,” Annaka yawned on the recording. “Mmm wanna cuddle my mer-prince. My sweet-”

“And that goes on for like another minute and a half,” Zapp said, shutting off the recording. His sister looked down at the ground, waiting for it to swallow her whole. Instead, she was held very snuggly by her boyfriend.

Zed cuddled his princess and smiled. So maybe he wasn’t human. He was still Annaka’s first pick.

#lonely hearts

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fanders-fic-awards · 6 years

Text

Salads, Traffic, and Disney

Summary: All Patton wants to do is make his boyfriend a nice, romantic dinner. All Logan wants to do is get out of downtown traffic.

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1800

Ballot

Patton is not a man who is easily irked. In fact, he’s known for displaying many qualities in the opposite side of the spectrum.

But today is one of the anomalies, a rare occurrence in his little topsy-turvy world, where he feels the unfamiliar emotion known as frustration. He’s certainly felt negative things before—like the times he sees his friends being bullied. Or when Virgil (or Roman or Logan) talks bad about himself. Or whenever he watches a Pixar movie.

But in this particular moment, it seems as though the world has been set alight and thrown out God’s metaphorical window. Because all Patton wanted was to cook a nice dinner for his brilliant boyfriend coming back from his brilliant business trip.

But no.

He knows he sounds like Virgil right now but dear God there is no way this many things can go wrong in the span of an-hour-and-forty-five minutes.

Nearly wailing in utter exasperation, he glances at the poor attempt at a first course—a salad. Seems simple enough? Wrong. Somehow he’d managed to spill an entire bottle of hot sauce-slash-guacamole into the unsuspecting greens (he blames this on Roman, as he’s the one who keeps leaving his “complimentary culinary concoctions” for others to deal with. But he can never say that to his face, because he loves Roman and that would crush the man). And, just his luck, there was no lettuce or spinach left and Virgil and Roman had taken out the car, leaving Patton essentially trapped, vegetable-less and dejected.

He’d then tried his hand at spaghetti. He’d bought the packaged noodles and everything, so this part should’ve been simple, really. All he needed was to boil the noodles and make some sauce. But apparently, whoever wrote the pasta-making instructions did not take into account how easily distracted a certain chubby man named Patton happens to be. So when Remy dropped by with his suave glasses, sarcastic simper, and newborn tabby kitten, he couldn’t help but invite them in enthusiastically. It was when Remy finally pried the cream-colored creature away from his loving arms that he realized his mistake.

He smelled the smoldering noodles and dashed into the kitchen, armed with a measly coffee cup of water-fused-with-something that Roman so kindly (unintentionally) left for protection. Thankfully, there were no flames, but the noodles were withered like the roses he gave Logan for their anniversary (which he adamantly refuses to toss—no matter how ugly they look in that magenta vase).

He’d started to channel his inner Virgil around the point where he attempted the omelette. This particular endeavor had been going better than the last two. Patton had begun to regain hope that this whole ordeal would turn out fro the better.

That was, until it came time to flip it.

Long story short, there’s now a burn mark on the kitchen ceiling that he somehow has to explain to Logan, and dinner is still unmade.

Patton marvels angrily at how all of this could’ve happened. God—he’s so pathetic! He can’t even make a simple meal for his boyfriend who’s always doing the nicest, most thoughtful things for him. He thinks back to Logan teaching him how to solve a Rubik’s cube, and then asking Patton to be his boyfriend with said cube. He thinks about all of the grand gestures Roman’s made for Virgil—smatterings of purple roses, the black promise rings, and handwritten poetry. And then there’s Virgil, who composed a song for Roman filled with his trademark witty remarks but had an underlying tone of sincerity and affection.

No, Patton is determined to do this one thing for Logan, no matter how hard he has to work. But first, he needs to make a call. He pulls out his phone, puts on his game face, and dials a familiar number.

“Roman? Hey, kiddo. Is Virgil with you?… Uh-huh. Okay, can you put me on speakerphone?”

The phone makes a crackling noise and Virgil gives a muffled, “Okay, what’s up?”

“Can you help me with something?”

***

Logan is a man who is easily irked. In fact, he’s known to be set off by the slightest of mishaps.

Which is why he quite annoyed at the copious amount of people crowding the roads at this time of night. He, of course, understands that these people are likely rushing to get to important events as well. His little, grey heart goes out to the pregnant women going into labor and grooms late for their wedding.

But Logan just wants to see Patton.

It’s an odd feeling—missing someone. Two years ago, Logan would have never imagined he could feel so strongly for another human being. But lo and behold, a curly haired, freckled, supernova of a man bounded into his apartment one day like he owned the place, claiming he, “lived right across the hall, so of course we need to be friends!”

Slowly the initial annoyance turned into fondness and, somehow, love. He loves Patton in such a fierce way that he himself doesn’t fully understand it. Of course, Patton is a package deal. Which is how Logan reluctantly ended up with two more friends that he wouldn’t trade even if it meant he could know the meaning of life (Which he’d never admit to those two—Roman’s ego is the size of Earth already).

And he misses (God—it’s still strange to use that word) them all. And he is being denied his rights to see them because of the simple human construct of traffic.

Alas, there’s not much he can do but wait for it to pass.

***

“Great gallivanting gazelles! It’s almost ten-o-clock!”

“Oh, goodness, you guys. Thank you so much for helping me! He’s going to love it so much!”

“Pshh, we hardly did anything. It’s not even that goo—”

“Why thank you, Patton! Dear, you could drop the attitude in front of our hard-working father figure here, right?

“I could just drop-kick you if that’s what you want?”

“Never mind, my little ray of moonshine.”

Smack!

“I told you not to call me that!”

“He’s here!” Patton interrupts the couple’s bickering to frantically wave in the general direction of the driveway, “Virgil, turn the lights off!”

Virgil huffs at Roman, who is rubbing his arm in an offended manner, and flicks the switch, leaving them in complete darkness.

From outside, Logan approaches the door in his usual practiced way. He scuffs each of his shoes three times in the welcome mat and then pulls out the key he keeps tucked at the back of his wallet. He unlocks the door and flicks the light on, not bothering to look up. As he turns and closes the door, he hears a muffled shuffling noise.

“Patton?” He calls as he re-locks the door and bolts it shut, “Are you awake?” He spins back around, finally glancing up and—

“SURPRISE!”

Logan gurgles out a startled squeak and presses up against the door, immediately assessing the current situation.

Stood in front of him is Patton, holding what appears to be homemade donuts practically oozing with Crofter’s jelly (he’d recognize his favorite brand anywhere). Roman, standing just behind Patton, holds up three neatly wrapped gifts in the air like a trophy. Virgil is farther off to the side, blocking the door to the kitchen, but looking happier than Logan’s seen him since Roman asked him out. And the living room itself is decorated with royal blue streamers and ‘Welcome Home’ balloons. Clearly, they all worked very hard on this.

The three silently wait for Logan’s reaction to their surprise.

After a beat, Logan inhales and gently takes the donuts and presents.

And he sets them by the door.

And he turns back to them.

And he wraps his arms around Patton.

Patton seems startled at first, likely surprised by Logan’s burst of rare affection, but quickly returns the hug with a confused giddiness.

“Lo?” Patton pulls away, pecking him quickly and leaving his hands on Logan’s shoulders, “Are you okay?”

“Yes, of course,” Logan replies with a tiny sniffle, “I just found myself missing you more than usual on this trip.”

“Aw, Logan, babe, we missed you too!” Roman cries. He tosses his arms around Logan and lifts him up off the ground, squishing his black glasses uncomfortably against his face. Nevertheless, Logan does his best to humor his friend. After approximately forty seconds, Roman drops him to the floor, leaving one more necessary greeting.

“Virgil,” Logan nods, attempting to respect his shorter companion’s boundaries.

“Logan,” Virgil returns, pausing for a second before rubbing his neck sheepishly and holding his arms out in a shy invitation, “Ah, come here you big sap.”

Logan offers his biggest smile (which is about twenty percent of Patton’s) and quietly hugs Virgil. They pull apart sharing looks of equal gratitude.

“I’m positive I will greatly appreciate the gifts you all made,” Logan starts, looking longingly at the filled pastries, “but I think for now I’d rather spend time with you guys… if that is acceptable?”

Roman smiles broadly, “Of course it’s acceptable, Nerd! I even have a movie we can watch,” he whips ‘The Little Mermaid’ out of his pocket as if he carries it everywhere (he does—for emergencies, okay?), leaping up to the TV and pushing in the DVD.

“I’d be cool with that,” Virgil mumbles happily, already molding himself into his usual spot on the couch. Roman soon flops next to him with his arms wrapped tightly around the shorter of the two. Virgil tells him to get off, because they’re being gross. Roman doesn’t stop (they both know he likes it).

By the doorway, Patton gazes at Logan, who has a few tears welling up in his eyes.

“You sure you’re okay, Lo?”

Logan looks at his boyfriend, calculating the best response.

He opts for the truth, “Yes indeed, Patton. I believe I am doing okay.”

Patton kisses his cheek warmly, “Good, you really mer-made my day by suggesting we hang out.”

Logan rolls his eyes fondly as Patton giggles, for once not commenting on his antics. They both claim their usual spot together, Patton pressed against Logan, who’s pressed against Roman, who’s pressed against Virgil. They all watch the famous Disney intro in a comfortable silence.

And Logan, for the first time in a while, finds himself truly—purely happy.

*** (Bonus:)

“Patton, what was the cause of this stain on the ceiling?”

“Oh, that’s always been there, silly!”

@two-pinches-of-cinnamon

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pentacass · 6 years

Text

Llethasi sat hunched over the shop’s counter, scratching her quill over parchment in sharp strokes, with that ever-present frown upon her brows - something Arisa found endearing, even if she did constantly nag the stubborn mer about it.

The blacksmith didn’t even look up at Arisa’s approach, and only reacted when Arisa hugged her about the neck. Llethasi clicked her tongue and threw her hands up in annoyance.

“You made me lose count!” Llethasi chided, tossing her quill onto the parchment, upon which a long list of calculations was written.

Arisa laughed under her breath, passing a quick eye over the bills spread across the counter - all of which were payments to the smithy. Llethasi was doing very well for herself indeed. “Where’s your abacus?”

“Lost it,” Llethasi grumbled, slapping her arms away. “Now let me finish this before I lose my damn mind.”

How typical, acting as if Arisa hadn’t just returned from her months-long trade route in the mainland. But with a century’s worth of history between them, Arisa was unfazed. She merely smiled and desisted with a kiss atop Llethasi’s head, stepping away from the counter - and that’s when she noticed the lone figure in the far corner of the shop, hidden by a divider that shielded her from visitors through the door.

It was a young Dunmer girl with light copper-brown hair, sitting hunched over her own table much like Llethasi, except she was rubbing a crayon over a book. She can’t have adopted another one, can she? Arisa thought, casting a bemused glance at Llethasi, before making her way to the girl.

“Hello,” Arisa sang as she approached the table, but was given pause when the girl flinched reflexively away from her, shoulders hunching even more as if she was trying to curl up in her chair.

Curious, Arisa stooped down and reached a hand out to the girl, intending to give her a gentle pat on the head, but the girl shrunk away from her. The child was freezing up, fearful grey eyes fixed on the edge of the table away from Arisa, who grew concerned.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m a friend,” Arisa said gently. “What’s your name-?”

“Ari.” Llethasi waited for Arisa to turn her head, then waved her over. When Arisa had returned to the counter, Llethasi glanced over her shoulder and said quietly, “Leave her alone.”

“Who is she?” Arisa asked, equally soft.

“She's my granddaughter.” Llethasi cocked her head, matter-of-fact as Arisa’s eyes grew rounder by the second. “Reysa adopted her.”

“Oh! Oh, this is-” Arisa’s voice died away, her instant joy fading as she followed Llethasi’s gaze, looking back at the girl who was still frozen at the table.

Llethasi rose from her seat then, and went over to the girl. “Selyn,” she said, her tone softer than Arisa had ever heard. “Do you want to go inside?” She waited as Selyn fidgeted jerkily in the chair, before nodding her head. Llethasi took the girl’s hand and, with a comforting grasp on Selyn’s shoulder, led her into the private office in the back of the shop.

Arisa followed them, and stood at a distance as Llethasi settled the girl in her chair, then placed a few children’s storybooks on the desk. ‘Call me if you need anything, alright?’ Llethasi said, to which Selyn nodded again. She ruffled the girl’s hair affectionately, then left Selyn alone in the office, closing the door behind her.

“Aneril and Reysa rescued her from a slave caravan,” Llethasi explained, voice still quiet as they walked back into the smithy.

“Oh, poor thing.”

“She was much worse off when they first brought her back. Wouldn’t even talk or acknowledge anyone. Been getting better, but...we’re still going slow.” Llethasi shrugged.

“Ah. Then I’m sorry for...”

“You didn’t know.” Llethasi waved away her apology, leaning against the display counter with a sigh. Then she glanced at the bills still spread over her own workspace. “Actually, if you’re sorry, do my accounts for me.”

Arisa stared at her, unamused. “You’re horrible, you know that?”

“Dinner’s on me tonight.”

“Still horrible.”

Arisa hung around the smithy for the day, during which Selyn was coaxed out into the shop again by Llethasi, who provided her with a bowl of scrib jelly to eat while she continued to work on her colouring book. And when the sun had set halfway across the sky, Aneril finally appeared at the smithy, still dressed in the leathers she preferred for dealing with paperwork in the Fighters Guild hall.

She greeted Arisa with a smile and hug, then went over to hug Selyn as well. Arisa was mildly surprised to see the girl reach out for Aneril, but then again, the Altmer was her mother after all.

“Did you have a good day with your grandma?” Aneril asked, her voice soft and soothing, and she smiled when Selyn nodded. “That’s very good. Here, let’s pack up your things, then go home and wash up. Then we’ll have dinner with grandma, alright?”

Selyn nodded again; mother and daughter packed up the girl’s belongings together, and Aneril never stopped speaking to the girl, even getting a flash of a smile from Selyn once. And when they were done, Aneril slung the backpack over her shoulder, taking the girl’s hand in her own.

“We’ll see you at the tavern, mom,” Aneril said as she walked towards the door. “And you too, Ari?”

“Of course,” Arisa replied, watching the two go. “She’s quite good as a mother, huh?”

“They both are.” Llethasi smiled to herself, then looked over the shop and sighed. “Now help me clean up the shop or we’ll be late to dinner.”

#i should start compiling these into a fic #gdi #me no likey long posts #elder scrolls online #elder scrolls #tes #eso #dunmer #llethasi #arisa #selyn #yzwrites #i'd write the grandmom gays but #it'd just be a longass smut fic #.........then again #isn't half of tes fics just shamelessly gross smut

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blueplanettrash · 7 years

Note

Prompt: mer lance gets captured and they try to sell his scales? If you want to of course.

Sorry for the break guys! I hope you enjoy this story!

“Whoa! Look at all of this stuff,” Hunk said in amazement. They smiled at the obvious curiosity on Hunk’s face and glanced around at the trinkets around them. They were planet-side, after rescuing the entire thing from a Galra attack. They told Allura and Coran that they were going to visit the planet’s marketplace, because it was filled with all kinds of things from many different alien races.

“Hey guys, check this out!” They turned at Lance’s voice and saw him standing by the stall keeper with a small bottle of what looked to be water. They quirked a brow in question. He smirked and poured it over his arm and watched as their mouths dropped in surprise.

“Holy crow!” Pidge gasped before reaching out and running her fingers down his arm. The scales almost looked like mother of pearl when they glinted in the light. The shopkeeper cleared their throat and they looked over at them.

“We call this, Veil,” they explained holding up an identical bottle to the one Lance was holding. “It’s most often used for young shapeshifters to determine what they really look like, so they can begin transforming into something else,”

They nodded in interest and were about to ask more questions but were interrupted by a squawk. Once again they turned to Lance and saw him standing in surprise with his arm in the hand of an alien. They looked to be richer than the general public and they were wearing what looked like a fur coat.

“My goodness, what beautiful scales!” They said excitedly. They looked up at Lance with a wide smile. “I’ll give you 12000 GAC for a pair of them, they’d make such lovely earrings,” Lance regarded them with wide eyes.

“Um, n-no thanks,” he said hesitantly. The alien’s face fell into a pout.

“Well, why not? Did I not offer you enough?” They asked. “15000? 20000? Whatever you want,” They tried.

“Well, no, it’s because it’s really painful to pull them out,” he answered honestly. The alien pulled away with a gasp and a hand to their chest.

“Oh my goodness, I am so sorry,” they said quickly, fluttering nervously around him. Just like that the tense air disappeared and Lance rushed to comfort them.

“It’s not your fault,” Lance said waving his hands around. After a few minutes of conversation between the two of them, the alien left with a smile on their face and Lance turned back to the team.

“Is it bad that I’m severely flattered right now?” He asked them with a blush on his face. Pidge huffed out a laugh and elbowed him in the side.

“Well, they’re not wrong, you have really pretty scales,” she said taking his arm again. “Even I wouldn’t mind having this shit on jewelry,”

“Same,” Hunk said taking Lance’s other arm.

“Who wouldn’t?” Shiro asked looking over the top of Lance’s shoulder.

“They would go with my knife pretty well,” Keith smirked from the other shoulder. Lance finally tugged his arms back and back away from them with raised arms. He slid in a mock defensive pose and struck out at random areas.

“Don’t fuck with me! I’ve got the power of God and anime on my side!” He yelled, taking a second to direct the light off of his scales into Keith’s eye with a smirk. Keith clapped a hand over his face with a curse and lunged towards Lance, who immediately bolted down one of the side alleys. He bolted down the alley but stopped when he lost sight of Lance, he looked around in confusion then walked back to the team who were still in the same spot as before.

“Where’d Lance go?” Shiro asked when he noticed that he wasn’t trailing behind him. Keith shrugged his shoulders, still glancing around.

“I don’t know, he disappeared when I chased after him,” he replied scratching the back of his neck. He was noticeably worried now. Lance tried to never wander off after the incident with Nyma.

“Everyone, keep your eyes open,” Shiro decided. “He can’t of gone far,”

“What the hell do you think you’re doing!” Lance yelled once his captor finally took their hand off of his mouth. There were two of them, one of them the same size as Hunk and the other the size of Keith. They looked at him with matching smirks and he felt his blood freeze.

“I’m a paladin you know, you’ll get in big trouble for this you know,” he tried. They ignored him and the smaller of the two began tying him down to the metal table in the centre of the room while the larger held him down. He cursed himself for not wearing his armour for this trip like Shiro decided to. He gasped when suddenly a bucket of water splashed on top of him. He groaned when he felt his transformation coming on, and realized that they must have dumped Veil on him instead. His tail ripped through his jeans and he fell limp as he rested in pain.

“Looks like we’ll be richer than we thought, Fren,” the smaller one said as the other looked at his tail in amazement.

“We’d never have to do anything for the rest of our lives, Hax,” he said in awe. Lance took the chance to look to the side and sink his now razor sharp teeth into Hax’s arm. He let out a loud shout of pain and tried to jerk away but Lance held strong and growled into the meat of the alien. Even as he felt chains now going over his tail to keep it still, he ground down harder into the trembling arm. Only when a strong fist struck his jaw, did he let his mouth fall open and allow the bleeding appendage to escape.

“Jeez Hax, are you okay?” he heard Fren ask. He almost felt bad for what he did but decided to let the implications of where he was, sink in again. He yelped when Hax slapped him across the face, making him have to blink away the blackness in his vision after the hit.

“Put a muzzle or something on him, I gotta bandage this up,” he heard Hax say. He tried to spit the blood out of his mouth but wasn’t able to before a hand was grabbing the back of his head and a black, metal muzzle was roughly strapped to his face.

“Let’s just get this over with and dump him,” Hax said as he came back in the room. Fren simply nodded and picked up something that resembled pliers. Lance immediately bucked up trying to escape the restraints.

His head fell back with a shriek when the first scale came loose from his tail. The pain was unimaginable, he could only tremble in shock as Fren started digging underneath the second scale. Tears started rolling down in his ears and his head fell limply to watch Fren. His eyes widened when he saw him drop them in a dirty glass jar as if they were just beads from a child’s friendship bracelet.

“Not so tough now, huh Blue Paladin,” Hax smirked walking up to Lance’s head. He shakily turned his head to look at the other alien.

“W-we s-s-saved your planet, w-why are you doing t-this to m-me?” He cried. Hax’s fingers went through the muzzle’s caged and tugged it more to make Lance look directly into his eyes.

“It doesn’t matter what you or your team did,” he said with a sadistic smile. “I don’t care, all I care about is money and you’re worth a lot of it,” he stated gesturing to his scales. He let out a teary sob as Fren was able to pry the third scale from his tail. He wanted to pull his arms from the restraints but the pain made his arms feel like jelly. Hax patted his cheek and walked towards his tail with another pair of pliers. Panic shot through Lance but he could only limply roll his head around, sob, and scream.

He didn’t notice when his friends burst through the door of the workshop, or when he was unchained, but only when he felt the soft touch of cloths did he look around to see Pidge, Hunk, and Keith gently wiping Veil off of his body. He turned his head straight to look up at a distraught looking Shiro. He carefully unclasped the straps of the muzzle and threw it across the room, to hit an unconscious Fren in the face.

“Lance we are so sorry we didn’t get here quicker,” Shiro apologized with tears in his eyes. Lance gave him a small smile and shook his head.

“It’s not your guy’s fault, I’m just glad you made it in time,” he said sincerely. Shiro gave a hesitant smile back before he scooped Lance up and put a towel on his lap in case he changed back before they returned to the Castle. They almost got out of the door before Lance’s head shot up and he looked back to the table.

“Keith grab that jar,” he demanded pointing toward the table.

“What? Why?” He asked with a raised eyebrow. Lance gave him a tired glare.

“Just do it,” he ground out. Keith huffed but obediently turned back and snatched the jar. He only understood when he looked down and saw the blue scales shining back at him. He gulped and silently handed the jar to Lance, who looked exhausted. Shiro continued walking through the door and soon enough they were nearing Black. Lance decided to peer into the jar and count them. He leaned back onto Shiro’s shoulder with a shallow laugh.

“All that pain for four measly scales?” He stated brokenly. Shiro gazed at him with sad eyes and tried to concentrate.

“Sometimes when a person doesn’t have enough beauty of their own, they try to take it from the most beautiful, even at the consequence of the other,” Shiro said quietly. Lance looked up at him, puzzlement practically dripping off of him. “What I mean to say is that they’re worth much more than you think they are, and that’s why they’re so hard to get away from you because you’re worth so much,” he tried to explain frantically.

“I think I understand Shiro,” Lance said. Shiro sighed in relief and they climbed into Black. Shiro handed Lance off to Hunk, and they took off into the sky towards the Castle.

“Oh my God Lance,” Pidge cried when his tail finally transformed back into legs. He winced looking at the chunks of flesh that were missing from his legs. They were still bleeding slightly and looked to be in the same spots where his scales were taken from.

“You have to go in the pod man,” Hunk said with worry. Lance shook his head and pulled his legs up.

“No, just bandage them, I’ll be fine,” he insisted.

“This could cause serious damage Lance,” Keith said with worry etched on his face. Lance sighed but stuck his legs out again.

“I don’t know how the pod will heal my tail, so I want to make sure my scales grow back my way,” he pleaded looking instead at Shiro. He thought for a moment but sighed and picked up the bandages. Lance sent him a grateful smile and waited patiently for him to finish.

“Thank you,” he said when Shiro tied off the last knot and stood up.

“I just hope you’re right about this,” he said, putting away the bandages. “Why don’t you rest up for a little bit and join us in the lounge when you’re feeling up to it,” he suggested. He smiled and nodded his head, waving at them when they left the room. He hopped up from the table and grabbed the jar of his scales. Instead of turning towards the quarters, he headed towards the bridge. He glanced around inside the room and his eyes finally feel on Coran.

“Coran!” He called. The altean’s head turned to him in question.

“How are you, my boy? I heard what happened over the coms from Number 5,” he asked.

“I’m fine Coran,” he said with a smile. “I was wondering if you would be able to help me though,”

Everyone looked over at Lance when he entered the lounge. He had his hands behind his back and looked at them hesitantly. They jumped up, thinking that he had been hurt again in some way and quickly approached them.

“Lance, are you okay?” Shiro asked. He nodded silently and thrust his hands out. They looked at the dangling leather bands in confusion but each took them in their hands. He opened his hands and let the shiny blue scales fall from his hands to their own necklaces. Their eyes widened and looked at Lance.

“They were already pulled out, I wanted each of you to have a part of me with you always,” he explained scratching the back of his neck. “Unless that’s weird, then you can just throw it away I guess,” he said flustered waving his hands around sporadically.

“Lance that’s so beautiful!” Hunk cried lunging forward to pull his friend into a hug. Pidge quickly joined in followed by Shiro and Keith.

“Thank you so much, Lance,” Shiro said earnestly. Thank yous spilled from the other’s lips as the hug got tighter and tighter around them.

“It’s the least I could do,”

Stories Masterlist

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thelastspeecher · 7 years

Note

For your freeform prompts, how about the Mergucket au we suggested where Stan gets turned into a five year old? Maybe when he first gets out of the cocoon and has become a kid?

Background for people: this is a version of the MerGucket AU sort of like the Banjomin Stanley McGucket AU. While on the ship, the Mystery Trio fights this sea monster, which sprays the Stans with a venom that turns them mer. Stan, however, grows a cocoon around his body, and well...here’s what happens next.

Thunk.

Ford looked up. He sighed.

“Stanley, sometimes I wonder ifit is your life’s purpose to make things difficult,” Ford said in agood-natured tone as he got up to adjust Stan’s cocoon. Again. “I don’t know why this keeps getting lighter. If it stayed the same weight, it wouldn’tfall over all the time.” Ford strokedthe rough surface of the cocoon. “Andneither I nor the MerGuckets know why you cocooned, instead of transforming theway adults typically do.” He had justpicked up the cocoon when he heard a small crack. Startled, Ford dropped the cocoon. He peered closely. At one end, the cocoon was beginning toopen. Ford’s tail flicked excitedly.

Finally! Ford poked his headout of his room.

“Um, MerGuckets? Stan’s cocoon is hatching!” he called.

“Really?” a voice said. Fiddleford appeared in the hallway. “Well, let’s go give yer brother a warmwelcome to mer society then!” Fiddleford chirped. Ford nodded and ducked back into theroom. The cocoon was now rocking fromside to side, its cracks getting larger. After a few minutes, a webbed hand pried its way through the largecracks, breaking more of the cocoon. Ford’s heart stopped.

Wait… Stan finished fightinghis way out of the cocoon. He yawned andidly swam over to a corner of the room, where he promptly curled up. Is- ishe going to sleep?

“Stanley?” Ford asked. Stan sat up.

“Yeah?”

“You- you’re-” Fordstammered. Stan cocked his head.

“Why are you a mermaid? And Fiddlesticks, you’re a mermaid too?”

“Merman, yes,” Fiddlefordsaid.

“So we’re underwater.”

“Yes,” Ford confirmed. Stan grinned.

“Aw, sweet. It’ll be way easier to get mermaids like this. I’m merman now too, right?”

“The mer part, yes. The man part, I’m not completely sure about,”Ford said hesitantly. Stan frowned.

“Whattaya-” Stan looked down at himself. He saw clearly the stubby, drab green tail guppieshad, and the small, thin arms and hands of his childhood. “No,” Stan said firmly, shaking his head,dislodging pieces of cocoon from his thick brown curls. “No, this- what the hell, Sixer!” Stan shouted.

“Stanley, please.”

“You turned me into a fuckingkid!”

“Stanley!” Ford saiddesperately. He took a calmingbreath. “Stan, I had no clue that thiswould happen when you emerged from the cocoon. I assumed you would be an adult, like me.”

“He was hit with extra of that critter’s venom,” Fiddlefordremarked. Stan squinted at him.

“That’s what did this?” Stanasked. Fiddleford nodded. “Well, you didn’t get hit by any of it. So why are you a merman, huh?”

“I was born one,” Fiddlefordsaid proudly. “Or rather, hatched. I just pretended to be human to work on yership.”

“We’re actually at Fiddleford’sfamily’s home,” Ford said. Stan crossedhis arms.

“I heard voices,” a youngmermaid said, suddenly popping into Ford’s room. “Did the cocoon hatch?”

“Yes, Angie, it did,” Fiddlefordsaid quietly. Angie looked around theroom. Upon catching sight of Stan, shegasped and swam up to him.

“Aw, ya didn’t mention yerbrother was a guppy!” Angie cooed, peering closely at Stan. “Howdy there, cutie.” Stan glowered. “Ya should’ve told us, Ford. That way we could’ve gotten the nurseryready.”

“Nursery!” Stan squeaked.

“Why, sure! We have to dust off the guppy basket, and fixthe lights and everything.”

“I think his objection was tobeing in the nursery,” Ford said. Angieblinked.

“It’s the safest place in thehouse! That’s where guppies need tobe! And anyways, guppies can’t get aproper night’s sleep without a guppy basket, and the nursery is where we keepit.”

“Look, lady, I don’t know whoyou think you are, but I’m not a fucking kid, okay?” Stan burst out. “I’m not gonna sleep in a nursery.”

“You- why are ya sayin’ yer nota guppy?” Angie asked, clearly befuddled. “Yer tiny. Ya got the lil guppytail and scales. Ya hatched from acocoon, and only guppies hatch from cocoons.”

“I’m not gonna- hey!” Stanyelped. Angie was running her fingersthrough his hair to remove the clumps of cocoon still stuck.

“Angie, please, leave him be,”Fiddleford said, swimming forward and grabbing Angie’s arm to pull heraway. “I know yer just followin’ guppynurturin’ instincts, but Stan’s only been mer fer five minutes. He don’t understand anything that’s going on.”

“Oh. Right.” Angie inclined her head. “Sorry,Stan.”

“What did you say earlier abouta guppy basket?” Ford asked her.

“Hmm? Oh, it’s what guppies sleep in ‘til they’retoo big fer it. Biologically speakin’,guppies can’t get a proper night’s sleep outside a guppy basket.” Angie looked over at Stan. “And, even though I ain’t quite sure what’sgoin’ on, I know yer brother ‘ll need that basket. A bed won’t work right fer him. Not yet.”

“I’m not a-” Stan started.

“Mentally speaking? No, perhaps you are not a child. Biologically speaking? You certainly are,” Ford said. Stan puffed up.

“I’m not gonna sleep in anursery!”

“No, but it might be best tohave this basket available,” Ford said. Stan gaped. “Angie, would you-”

“On it,” Angie said, alreadydarting out of the room.

“Stanford!” Stan shouted.

“It’s a precautionary measure.”

“You can’t make me use a basketas a bed,” Stan spat.

“We won’t have to,” Fiddlefordremarked. “It’s instinctive.”

“…So?”

“Guppies are ruled by theirinstincts. I ain’t quite sure how it’llwork out fer ya, since ya used to be a human adult. But there’s no way to ignore millennia of evolutionarybehavior.”

“Instincts? Like what?” Ford asked Fiddleford.

“Well, guppies instinctivelycurl up in their basket when they get tired. They also automatically hide from anything that might be a predator. Which, fer a guppy, means spendin’ most of thetime hidin’. Guppies ‘re really jumpy.”

“Pfft,” Stan snorted. “As if.”

“Guppies also fall asleep if yasing to ‘em,” Fiddleford continued, ignoring Stan.

“Really?” Ford asked, intrigued.

“Yes. It’s a method of keepin’ a firm sleepschedule, since clutches typically have about ten guppies. Another way that it’s easier to take care ofguppies is that they tend to fall in line with each other in large groups. Y’know, mimic each other and act almost likea hive mind.”

“Fascinating,” Ford said.

“I’m not gonna do any of that,”Stan said flatly. Fiddleford smiledweakly at him.

“Until we get ya into an adultagain, Stanley, I don’t think yer goin’ to have much of a choice.”

“Yeah, right. I think I can control my ‘instincts’ orwhatever,” Stan retorted, rolling his eyes. His stomach rumbled. “But I couldreally go for a sandwich. Mac ‘ncheese. I dunno how long I was in that,what did you call it, cocoon?” Ford andFiddleford nodded silently. “Yeah. I need some grub.”

“Species transformations and agetransformations separately can be rather taxing, energy-wise,” Ford said. “Together, yes, I’d imagine you have quitethe appetite.”

“I could eat a whole cow,” Stanquipped.

“Actually, ya couldn’t,”Fiddleford interjected.

“It’s a saying, Fiddlesticks.”

“Yes, but ya can’t eat beef.”

“What? Why not?” Stan whined.

“Part of bein’ mer. No grains, no dairy, no red meat.”

“Aw,” Stan said, starting topout.

“We have plenty of jellied eels,though,” Fiddleford suggested. “Aspecial guppy treat.”

“Ew,” Stan said. He wrinkled his nose. “Jellied eels? Those things are gross.”

“Yes, well, you may find youlike them now,” Ford said. Stan shookhis head. “I did. I despised them as a human, but as a mer, Ifind them quite delicious.”

“…Whatever. I’ll eat it, since it’s technically food,” Stan muttered. His stomach growled again. “Whichway’s the kitchen?”

#Stan does refuse to sleep in the guppy basket at first #but whenever he falls asleep he just gets moved into the guppy basket #so that he gets proper sleep #which he won't get outside of a guppy basket #MerGucket AU #Guppy Stan AU #Stanford Pines #Stanley Pines #Fiddleford McGucket #Angie McGucket #ficlet #my writing #ask #agent-jaselin

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