#hyperbole of course but still disappointing

[variansinterests]

there is no disappointment greater than seeing a piece of media with a title that implies it'll be about time travel when it has nothing to do with it

[mrtequilasunset]

Whenever I talk about Kim and Harry getting married I inevitably get people in my notes saying things like "they wouldn't get married because no one is married in Revachol anymore" which like sure but also that is definitely a doomer hyperbole. Judit is married, plaisance is married, and Billie and Tommy. Lilienne was married too, and so was Trant. Plenty of people get married in Revachol, and besides that, we know that Harry *wants* to be married. He wanted Dora to be his wife. He still refers to her as his ex-wife and is so incredibly disappointed when he finds out she wasn't. Jean said "no one is married anymore" and that's become like some irrefutable Canon people have adopted but you have to remember Jean is one of the most miserable cunts in the game, of course he's gonna be pessimistic about this *especially* since it was said to Harry, the guy he spends most of the game antagonizing.

I guess my point is that I refuse to believe Harry wouldn't want Kim to wife him up first chance they get just because of a grumpy ass comment made by a dude with the world record for largest stick up ass.

[hakugreenfinch]

so its late and i shouldnt be writing analysis again but i really love this scene and i want to go off about it so here we are

i really do think this is a breaking point for the crew but especially curly. "i would do anything to help you" being met with "im pregnant". "anything" is such a brave sounding hyperbole, and one that we all use all the time. its an idea, an expression of dedication to something or someone except here its met with disappointment and despair and disillusion because at the end of the day a good sounding idea doesnt change cold hard facts. the want to help vs the realization that its so so late now and what you wanted to help is way beyond saving.

on one hand, ive shitposted about how "curly is the mouthwash" but i actually do mean that. mouthwash is supposed to be a trustworthy hygiene product but dragonbreath has too much sugar to really be useful. i do genuinely believe thats a metaphor for curly, how hes just not made of what could get rid of 99.9% of germs - and even if he was, that 0.1% that he cannot get to would still be there. (note anya saying "drinking this stuff wouldnt help, as much as i want it to"!!)

on the other hand and for the record, i dont think anya "hates" curly here. her words are hurting him and she has the right to resent him but i dont think she actually feels that strongly negatively about him. i dont think shes that preoccupied about curly or his feelings in the first place, this isnt about him for her. it is understandable, of course. shes done waiting and shes tired of curly's empty promises that "everything will be okay", she just wants to at least be left alone in safety if nothing can be done to undo her abuse.

this scene to me is these two mindsets clashing. curly desperately holding onto the image of himself as a good captain not by pony express standards but by his own looking-out-for-my-crew standards, a good captain that would do anything for his men if he has to, while anya has given up on that illusion and is desperate enough to shatter it for curly as well, not even really knowing what she wants from him anymore. even if he doesnt enjoy being a good captain by pony express standards, curly has been chasing an idea of being in control and making sure everyone is fine on his ship but that was never what anya needed (heck, he wasnt even in control as much as he thought) and now shes forcing him to face that and realize how many warning signs hes walked past for whatever reason, how many opportunities where something could have still been done.

what "anything" can he do now to fix her situation in a way that matters? could he even really do anything or is he just the sugary mouthwash, too sweet to do its job properly?

[seariderfalcon]

I've been on the internet daily since 2001 but today I unlocked a new achievement.

🎉 First time I've been told I should kill myself! 🎉

First time that I've been obviously blocked, too, I think. Truly banner day for me. Of course, it had to be over the dumbest thing possible, lol.

For context, @brittanias reblogged an H-Money poll with the most blatantly jokey commentary on the way the stats were shaking out for a Grade This Ship poll (A+ in first place, and somehow C- in second...that leap between grades was just a little bemusing is all). The account owner blew up at B in a rude dm, blocked her, and then posted that bizarre essay. It was a massive overreaction to an extremely tame bit of hyperbole.

My previous reblog is the only interaction I had with the above account (other than quietly voting on a few of the polls). I was perhaps a tiny bit snarkier than strictly necessary, but nowhere near reaching my final form in terms of being an asshole. I thought I was fairly calm and measured in my response, all things considered, though I did figure I'd probably get some huffy pushback and maybe earn a block, too.

And then I got this unhinged piece of work in my dms. Yeah. I think I absolutely called it when I suggested the account owner lacks a certain maturity that's generally required to run a wide-scale account of this nature.

Anyway. Neither of us brought up any other ship. Or suggested that people who don't like H-Money are idiots. Literally putting words in our mouths that were never even hinted at. And I'm dying know what constitutes "creepily obsessed." I'm pretty sure we both use our blogs the same way nearly every other fannish blog does.

Also, I am absolutely rolling over the "it's not even a real ship" slam. Babe, it's real enough that you are literally running a poll for it right now, lol.

Plus, getting mad and claiming that we called others idiots (nope) and then essentially calling me the same thing is certainly A Choice. It's also not inane, unsolicited, or utterly useless to defend a friend, especially when you know theyre being accused of something they obviously didn't do (B, I know we're not like super close, but my god, we've been mutuals on several platforms going back to when BSG was still airing...I think I've got a grasp on your sense of humor at this point, and I will absolutely defend you and anyone else in my orbit).

Lastly, there's like a whole little group praying for my imminent demise? Fun! But sorry to disappoint. I shall live to see another day. Fastest way to lose any argument, btw.

[karatekels]

~*My Cobra Kai Rant*~

I finally watched the final episodes of Cobra Kai! And I feel… a lot.

SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT DON'T @ ME

I know that Terry was going to die (and that it was going to be an explosion) before the episodes came out, as I don’t care about spoilers as long as they aren’t leaks of pictures/videos. As you know, I had a crazy busy week, so I DM’d @holydongbird / @cobra-wives Thursday morning (I knew she was planning on watching already) and just straight up asked:

“Is it worth watching the episodes now, or am I going to be disappointed and should just wait until work dies down?”

She was (understandably) devastated by the episodes, so I decided to wait while continuing to read spoilers and getting increasingly grumpy about things. (It’s fine, I love being grumpy about something that isn’t the harsh realities of the real world.)

I waited until last night (and watched the last episode this morning).

And I think it was mostly a good call to wait.

The tl;dr of this review/rant is:

I think that they did a decent job (for them) of wrapping up most of the other character’s plotlines. Obviously there were pacing issues and a lot of speedrunning getting people their happy endings, which felt cheap, and we spent too much time with meaningless characters and/or plotlines, but for these writers, I was somewhat pleasantly surprised. EXCEPT FOR JOHN AND ESPECIALLY TERRY’S ARCS AND ENDINGS. A MESS. A COLOSSAL DISAPPOINTMENT. A JOKE.

*deep breath* Okay, let’s get into it.

This is likely going to be very all over the place, but I’ll do my best.

Contrary to what my detractors (if there are any lol) may believe, I’m not mad about Terry dying. I think it could’ve been done effectively and had a payoff not only for his character but for the plot and message of the show as a whole. But GUESS WHAT? IT WASN’T!

1. The Terry illness plotline.

On the one hand, I’m always here for peak TIG being hot – how can you not be? – But let’s be practical for a second (yes, in the hyperbolic karate soap opera).

I don’t care how exceptional Terry Silver is, how much money he has, none of that: you can’t tell me that this is a dying man. If he’s as sick as we learn he is, I’m not buying his physique, his ability to help Axel train, none of it. It doesn’t make sense. And it shows that, once again, the writers don’t think about the implications of what they’re writing. Terry being sick could’ve meant something, if that’s the direction that they want to go in. But they needed to commit to that and consider how it changes everything.

Sure, illness could’ve explained Terry’s “this is all I have left” attitude in the last few episodes, but then they needed to address how that shift in attitude developed from his initial return to the franchise, since his illness has been hinted at since his appearance in Season 4, and in the intervening years (or however long the Season 4-6 timeline is; it’s a weird jumbled mess).

I don’t think it was a necessary component to the plot that we ended up getting. Terry doesn’t need to be dying to have nothing left; everything’s been taken from him regardless.

I still think his arrest at the end of Season 5 was stupid and unrealistic, but if we’re sticking with it (and we have to, if we’re staying in the canon of it all), then we don’t really need the illness plotline at all. He’s lost his money, his students, his dojo, his reputation. Daniel won’t forgive him, John certainly won’t forgive him… he’s already in that state without needing to be sick on top of it all. Putting a hat on a hat just leaves more room for viewers to go “okay, but why?”.

So, while we did get a couple glimmers of vulnerability from Terry (and, of course, some fantastic acting from TIG) because of this plotline, it was unnecessary, unsatisfying, and unrealistic.

The moral of this part of the story is: EDIT.

The writers have always said that they went into the show wanting it to be six seasons, that they had fleshed out a lot of the plot, but if that’s true then why do we get these half-baked, dead-end plots incorporated into the story for no reason? If you knew where you were going, why was this the best you could do? HOW?

I shared a screenshot of my rant on Twitter about this last week – the Big 3 write like many of my undergrad students. There are some good ideas sprinkled throughout, but the execution is messy, illogical and unsatisfying. They don’t think about the big picture and how all the cogs in the machine fit together, or how it comes off when a piece that doesn’t fit in is jammed into the mechanism anyway. It’s not just true about Terry’s character, it’s caused a bunch of other messy, unnecessary plotlines and pacing issues that have really impacted the show.

But this particular rant is about Terry, and John too I guess, so we’re moving on.

2. WHERE THE HELL WERE NICK AND BARRETT?!

One of my favourite elements of the entire show was the development of Terry and John’s history through the flashbacks with Nick and Barrett – y’know, back when the writers actually seemed to give a damn about developing our beloved villains.

I thought they did a really good job with the flashback scenes and showing the parallels or implications in the show’s present day (for the most part), and both actors did a phenomenal job. The transition from Twig to Scary Terry in Season 6 Part 1? I STILL GET CHILLS THINKING ABOUT IT.

It was a complete missed opportunity to not incorporate them more (read: at all) into the second and third parts of the final season to help fill in the gaps and give both characters a more satisfying conclusion. They could’ve had such a phenomenal final fight (yes, even if it was aboard that stupid yacht) cutting between Thomas and Martin and Nick and Barrett (kind of like how they did with John in prison in Season 5). Show the legacy of these characters and their relationship over DECADES. They are responsible for all of this, for everything in the lore of the show. There is no Daniel and Johnny without John and Terry’s Cobra Kai. Terry didn’t get the legacy that he wanted, but there is a legacy – their legacy – that we could’ve (and should’ve) gotten to witness. They are Cobra Kai, at least the way it was.

Honestly, this might be the most disappointing part of the final episodes for me.

But no, we needed to spend a ridiculous amount of time checking in on Kyler in college. FUCKING KYLER!

3. The lack of resolution/closure for our beloved Cobra Husbands.

This isn’t even about them needing to admit their love for one another (though they 100% should’ve admitted their love for one another), but about how unresolved things remained between them.

The yacht blowing up just felt like the writers realized they were incapable of writing a meaningful ending for either John or Terry and were just like “let’s get them outta here and no one will ask questions”. WELL, I HAVE QUESTIONS.

What was the goal here? For either of them?

Terry asks Dennis to go threaten Carmen and the baby? Kidnap them? Does he want his win to feel like a win or not? If it’s going to be hollow either way, then what exactly is the point of any of this? What does Terry want, really? Is he just grasping at straws? Fine, but give us a scene – even this last one – where he actually acknowledges that so that there’s some closure for him, and for us.

John heads to the yacht after his Apology Tour ™ to confront Terry, but they don’t really get to that, do they? Instead it’s just to protect Johnny from whatever Terry has planned. It’s a couple of verbal jabs just to immediately jump to a tussle. John reconciled with KDE, with Tory, with Johnny, however unrealistic that is – what’s stopping him from doing the same for Terry?

And as soon as John mentioned Johnny, that he’s not going to let Terry get away with whatever he’s got planned for him and his new family, you can see that pain on Terry’s face, and in his eyes as, once again, John is willing to forgive Johnny but not him. Never him. Why?

We needed something here to make this  – a flashback with Nick/Barrett or with Thomas and Marty, something – feel earned, feel like a conclusion. But no, instead they go boom and that relationship, all that history, all those feelings and words that needed to be said… they never will be.

And then nobody even notices? REALLY?

Wolf being the only one to even question Terry’s disappearance in the finale is wild to me. Granted, I know that some of us are way more likely than others to immediately notice TIG’s presence or absence in a scene – our Spidey-sense, if you will – but come ON. The big bad with nothing left to lose is about to have his last chance, and he’s nowhere to be found?

Kreese has been an ominous presence in the show before he appeared at the end of season 1, and Terry is one of the most powerful, effective and terrifying villains I’ve seen in decades. Both have been the driving forces behind so much of the show, and for the writers to suggest, as Hayden so idiotically put it earlier today, that the main characters aren’t worried about either man’s sudden disappearance is, for lack of a better word, BANANAS.

Daniel, of all people, would have alarm bells going off in his head if Silver wasn’t around for the grand finale. Terry is always three steps ahead and unpredictable, and if you can’t even keep an eye on him…

In Summary:

I’m happy for people who enjoyed the finale, and there were moments I liked too (more than I thought I would, tbh), but I genuinely don’t understand how anyone can find this ending for the show’s villains satisfying in anyway whatsoever, regardless of whether you loved or hated them.

I think that’s what I find so disappointing about all of this – like a lot of other elements of the show, this is a case where they had sprinkled in some decent ideas that could’ve been something, but took it in such an ultimately unsatisfying direction while leaving those breadcrumbs of better ideas behind that it’s just left me and other Terry fans feeling frustrated. Two thirds of the Big 3 claim Terry is one of their favourite – if not their #1 – characters from the original trilogy, but it certainly doesn’t feel like it when his character is probably the least respected in these final episodes. I think blowing up Kreese was also stupid and cheapened his arc, but at least he HAD some development in these episodes (even if it felt rushed).

What a disappointing end to the FOUNDERS of Cobra Kai. The epitome of unsatisfying, missed opportunities, wasted potential.

I pray to all the gods I don’t believe in that we don’t get a spinoff from these hacks.

END RANT (for now, anyway).

P.S. Something More Positive:

This should be evident, but I’m going to say it anyway, but none of this is on the actors. I thought they all did a phenomenal job, especially considering what they were given. With respect to our boys in particular, I’ve always thought Thomas was an incredibly compelling actor to watch, but Martin, especially in these final episodes, really blew me away with his commitment to the role. As much as I hated the direction the writers chose to take things, I think their performances lessened the blow a bit.

At least they gave us this moment that we can take out of context in perpetuity for our own inappropriate daydreams:

GOODBYE, BABY COBRA HUSBANDS. YOU DESERVED BETTER.

(If you want my takes on anything else from the finale - or the show in general - feel free to send an ask!)

[kanto-jhoto]

Okay... I played Pokemon for a couple hours. Maybe my expectations for what the Switch 2 update did was a little too high. It runs very nicely which is the important part. But it still looks pretty rough and there are all kinds of lighting errors and other weird graphical errors that are actually very easy to trigger.

It honestly reminds me a lot of, and I know this is going to sound hyperbolic, but Sonic the Hedgehog 2006... that was my very first HD game. I bought an Xbox 360 back in the day to play it, and the new Banjo Kazooie game. Both of them were pretty disappointing, but Sonic 06 was very amusing in how easy it was to make graphical bugs and physics bugs happen.... it was the first generation of HD consoles. That wasn't an excuse then, and it's not an excuse 3, 4, consoles later.

But I'm no stranger to playing games that are a little jank. So I will continue playing this and I may even enjoy it because even janky games with poor graphics can be fun, hell, I'm a Sonic fan, and a fan of 3D platformers in general, I'm no stranger to enjoying Jank. It's more the fact that you expect quality to be a little higher when you're dealing with Nintendo products, and keeping in mind that I skipped Sword and Shield, my last mainline Pokemon game, Sun and Moon, was actually a pretty decent looking game with no weird bugs, so this is a lot more jarring to me even after seeing the youtube footage of the switch 1 version of the game.

And of course there are things that are just fundamental problems that even a switch update can't fix, they still would rather just cut to black than actually animate anything more complicated than a character or creature moving their limbs and maybe a crumbling obstacle. Also the tutorial is very slow and the dialogue is very typical boring pokemon dialogue. A performance patch and better textures won't fix that.

Also, maybe this is just me, but i've heard a few music stings from past games but they sound off key to me? Or they cut out unnaturally? I could just be imagining it though since Im listening to this music over a loud fan. Summer in california, am I right? I will say that battling is pretty nice so far and I love my big red lizard friend a lot, I haven't really loved any of the box art legendaries since Lugia, but this how-to-train-your-dragon ass motocycle lizard is ticking a lot of my boxes as one of those kids who grew up very fond of lizards, dinos, dragons, and generally reptillian monsters.

[godzillabreath]

Clone High S2 thoughts

Discussion/spoilers (if you can spoil a situational comedy lol) under the cut

I first watched the original Clone High when I was in high school, so it’s a little wild to be watching and getting really invested in season 2 15 years later. It’s something I probably never even considered at the time.

I rewatched the first season recently as well, so I would have some context for going into the second season after so long. And the first season is still reliably so funny, so sharp and biting in its commentary. I feel like there is not a single joke that doesn’t still land today. The characters are so hyperbolic and chaotic that every scene is fresh and you never know what to expect from the plot. The geometry of the character design and the backdrops are simple but so effective and stylish, too. Season 1 really is just a good comedy you can watch again and again, and every character contributes to the laughs and momentum of the episodes. Gandhi is especially missed, and I think you can really feel his absence in Season 2 ),:

Okay, so Season 2. I’m gonna be upfront, I don’t think it is written very well. It feels very much like a fan facsimile of the original biting humor. I think I only laughed at a handful of jokes over the course of the entire season, which was definitely disappointing. It falls into the trap that so many reboot adult cartoons fall into in that it devotes so much of its time to rehashing cancel culture and social media as buzzwords, but not actually saying anything interesting or meaningful about them. The show no longer pulls from teen media tropes and contemporary television drams to inform its over-the-top “melancholy adolescent” humor. It feels like the extent of what they brought to the table was “Tiktok exists, isn’t that funny” and “you can’t be problematic!!!!” humor, but without really exploring the ludicrousness and the discourse cycle of the modern internet. It very much feels like the writers didn’t know the topics firsthand, but still wanted to comment on them in a shallow and cursory way. 

Let’s look at the new characters they added. Frida has an incredible design and conceptually I adore her. A mellow artist that skateboards and is hugely gay? All right, I love that. I wish there was a little more to her, though. I wanted to see more of the hyperbolic personality traits that each original character had in season 1. Make her outlandish, make her weirder with regards to her art, I don’t know, you could have gone in so many directions. I just wanted to see MORE.

 And this is an issue I have with all of the new characters and even to some extent the returning characters. I feel like Joan especially lost her weirdness and her edge in the reboot, with only the end scene of her freaking out and sabotaging her friends being something fun and true to her vindictive streak that she had in the original season. Confucius feels like he adds nothing to the plot other than to inform JFK and the audience that the internet exists. He should have been a bombastically internet-addicted clout goblin, constantly cutting content, and as he is now, he’s just falling extremely flat. I wanted the writers to crank the dial to 11 with Harriet and really explore her fear of being incredibly basic, like maybe she has Live Laugh Love text art in her room or her favorite tv show is the Office, idk, but as is she just seems like a Normal, Nice Person. Which is Fine, but it doesn’t make for great comedy. 

Topher is the only character I feel really channels the chaotic core of the original Clone High season, and he’s not even there for many scenes. I love the idea of a manipulative little mentally ill Redditor whelp. It’s relatable, it works well in commenting on modern internet culture, it’s freaky, I like it. I’m surprised they didn’t have Confucius and Topher interacting more because they both are chronically online and I feel like there is so much potential there.

I guess my takeaway opinion is that I’d like to see them amp up the personality of each of the characters by like 200%. And it’s a little late for this now, but I wish they’d have done more of a slow burn on Cleo and Frida’s relationship. It would’ve been cool to see Cleo contending with the fact that she wasn’t the most popular girl in school anymore and what kind of schism that would have created between her and Frida initially. More of an enemies to lovers dynamic would have been fun. 

So those are my thoughts. I could have gone on longer, but... I think this is already getting too long haha. I think I feel so opinionated on it because I can really see the latent stellar potential in the characters, and with a few exceptions, they all feel so underutilized in this season. 

Looking forward to season 3+ to see what they do next, though! 

[donnerpartyofone]

@brbnightmares it's especially bad with fiction and YA. It echoes the whiny complaints of how any depiction of a fat person is "glorifying obesity." I have definitely seen some anti-soc stuff represented in a way I don't like, but depicting it in a narrative is not an endorsement. I am not an anti content warning person at all, but people who call out for actual handholding in the narrative is ridiculous. very disappointing to see so many readers like this especially.

I'm gonna stop torturing people by reblogging my own post now, but I do want to liberate this stuff from the comments, so: Yes, you're absolutely right. Like considering the whole political history of gatekeeping around education and printed matter and everything, reading has become almost synonymous with personal liberation--I always think about John Waters saying, "If you go home with somebody and they don't have books, don't fuck'em!" And yet we still get young people who seem to love to read and write, but they crave to be regulated and censored; is it some kind of submission kink? That might be the nicest thing I can think about it.

Tangentially: When I was a kid my intellectual hippie parents were EXTREMELY anxious about my horror obsession. They were concerned about the grimy content of what I was interested in, and they were also concerned about the brain-rotting powers of screen entertainment. But, they would let me read anything I wanted, I think because they understood that reading is a good thing pretty much no matter what, and probably they also couldn't stand to imagine themselves censoring the written word. The funny thing is that since the word is free from the expense and complication of building special effects and getting past the MPAA, I read WAY more fucked up shit in pulp paperbacks than I could ever have encountered in 99% of all movies. But of course, it didn't turn me against my own moral sense vis-a-vis the real world, nobody's pets started disappearing in our neighborhood after I began spending hours at the library. What I remember about the experience is feeling things, not to be so corny; like fear, loathing, existential dread, and ambivalence may not be desirable real-world experiences, but books that challenge you emotionally make you grow. They literally change your mind for the better, even the bad ones can. And now it feels like there's this thing going on where people don't want to be challenged, they see adversity and unease as something contaminating and unfair, like we're all entitled to a frictionless, idealized existence even in the nonsense world of social media. Which I think wouldn't even be good for you.

It feels like we've gone from the dubious thing of people coveting the valor that is supposedly conveyed by victimhood and oppression, to people literally just wanting to be babies, and to be treated like babies. And I don't know, not to like waaaaay over-hyperbolize everything, but people need to remember that the reason fascism takes root so quickly and easily is that being told what to do, what to read, what to think, and to have every possibility of your life dogmatically restricted--to have all of your personal responsibility taken away from you and placed in someone else's hands--can be incredibly comforting.

PS I worry about trigger warnings re: *gestures vaguely* all of this. I will tag for types of real-life trauma and violence that I don't think are fair to spontaneously foist on unsuspecting followers, BUT: I often think of a time when this popular true crime blogger answered an ask where the person was asking her to tag her posts for needles. And like, I'm pretty sure the context was that she had posted the famous x-ray of sadomasochistic child murderer Albert Fish's colon with like twenty pins jammed up it. So the blogger very judiciously responded with something like, you know, "I'm sorry to have bothered you, but I'm not going to tag images of pins and needles. My blog is de facto full of disturbing and violent content, and the items you are describing are things that you might encounter in ordinary, benign situations in real life. If your aversion to them is so powerful that you can't even look at them, then frankly, that's something you're going to have to deal with privately, and you might want to avoid this blog in general." I loved her for that.

[omegasmileyface]

some things fuck up your life if you dont do them. this post wasnt supposed to be about EVERYTHING, im a hedonist myself and a nig believer that if somwthing isnt working for you you should quit. fuck it. but, like, the thing i was originally doing in this post was an accounting lesson, because i paid hundreds of dollars for an accounting course because i hated my job and needed a certification to get a job i could almost begin to tolerate. if i did do it, i would be bored for 20 minutes. if i didnt do it, i would have wasted money i cant afford, plus the month of labor i had already put in, and i would still be just as unqualified for accounting jobs, and so i would either continue to not have a job (which i really cant afford) or have to get a job that makes me feel like dying every day forever

its about prioritization. means and ends. picking up a book i want to read is boring, but ill feel way better after reading it. calling the theater to order a ticket is terrifying, but ill be much happier after i watch the show. starting the essay feels like sticking my hand in a toilet but not having done the essay would ruin my one chance at a grade.

due to the season i posted this, lots of the comments have been along the lines of "this is a sign for my to do my taxes" and... yeah. if you do your taxes bored, you have one boring afternoon. if you do your taxes scared, you have a couple hours of checking up on yourself, and pausing midway to make sure your breathing is ok. if you do your taxes shitty (in the us), you get a letter from the irs that says "hey we need another $20" / "hey you gave us an extra $20" and you fix it. but if you don't do your taxes? that's when the real trouble starts

i am a strong believer that "cheating" is mostly fake, and you should make something easy and pleasant for you however possible. watch tv while folding laundry, store your toothbrush in the kitchen, whatever. also that you should be allowed to figure out for yourself what deserves your attention and quit things, even if it means "giving up" on a long-term goal of yours or "wasting" progress or disappointing someone. but i also think you have to do things sometimes, or at least start things, in order to have fun and pleasure (and do moral good) in life. you deserve slow-dopamine-release hobbies, and not facing consequences for failed responsibilities, and your friends deserve a friend who does (some) things with them and generally doesnt flake.

with all that in mind, its possible youre the kind of person for whom "waiting for the right time" actually ends up getting a right time before it's too late, or for whom you only feel really shitty about things if they're bad enough that you genuinely shouldn't do them. if so, that's genuinely awesome! but for most of the people seeing this post, there's some kind of disability or illness or just-plain-habit making that more difficult (i have seen this post tagged adhd a million times, and autism, depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue, and ocd a hundred times each (/hyperbole))... to quote a comment ive seen on it several times, from different people, "if I didn't do things bored i would never do things at all"— i go "uuuugggghhhh" everytime i think about my hobbies, or my career, or spending time with my friends, or being in public, or leaving my house, or just about anything else. but i still want those things. so, i made this reminder that when you think "well, ill do it later— i cant do it right now. the time isn't right; im bored" that "its boring" doesnt necessarily mean you cant/shouldnt do it. its a rule you made for yourself, and it has its defensive purposes, but you have to recognize it and know when its time to break it, you know? not everything has to be perfect, and not all positive motion needs to be immediate. you gotta plan for the future on neurotransmitter stocks sometimes

does that make any sense? sorry if at any point it came off accusatorily! i didnt mean it that way but i just woke up >< thank you for the comment!

realizing that sticking to the "do it bad" "do it scared" mentality implies theres also a "do it bored"

[findinginga]

"Sometimes when you love someone you do crazy things."

“You should never tell a psychopath they are a psychopath. It upsets them.” (Villanelle - Killing Eve)

The title of this blog entry and the preceding quote were both taken from a delicious black comedy/spy series named "Killing Eve".  If you have not already experienced this gem, it is a great a series to binge on some rainy weekend.  Without giving too much away as to the story line, Villanelle is an assassin who was recruited and trained to be a killing machine.  She is attractive, flirtatious, and uber chic possessing a seemingly endless reserve of methods to dispatch her targets.  More than being efficient at her job, she derives gleeful satisfaction at a task well done.  In an early season one episode, Villanelle concocts a poisonous perfume which she uses to kill an asthmatic French designer and declares, "...you know I like the breathy ones...".  The deadpan delivery of Jodie Comer as Villanelle never ceases to result in some laugh out loud moments even as Villanelle completes a mission.

I could not help but think of Ingeborga as I started viewing the "Killing Eve" series for the second time.  Perhaps it is the native Russian accent of Villanelle in combination with the innocent, almost angelic face of the character which immediately conjures up my memories of past interactions with Inga.  Then there is complete disregard for the others which allows Villanelle to act in the single-minded way that she has perfected.  While she performs these callous acts without guilt or remorse, one grows to appreciate there is a kernel of humanity inside.  

I felt that this was true with Inga, at least in regard to her abilities to deceive and wear different masks.  I cannot honestly report that Inga was capable of anything.  I often wondered about her limits.  Was she capable of any form of mayhem?  She once asked of me if I would be willing to kill for her and seemed disappointed when I told her that I found this to be immoral.  To be fair, her question was likely a response to my previous claim that I would do almost anything for her.  Her hyperbole may have been intended as a sarcastic response to my declaration.  However, the archetypical femme fatale will enlist others to carry out those sorts of acts.  Given past incidents, I will never be completely sure.  The quote of Villanelle from Season One of "Killing Eve" does rings quite true for me.  Inga clearly did not welcome that I had knowledge of her pathology.  It most assuredly upset her.

The passage of time...

I deliberately allowed some weeks to elapse before writing again on this thread.  It was my goal, more my hope, that assembling all the details related to my odyssey with Inga and then allowing them to unfold in a narrative, would allow my anger to dissipate.  Indeed, the catharsis has relieved me of the pent up rage I felt over the course of 2023.  I still feel significant embarrassment over many of my actions.  I refer to the title of this blog entry as a weak form of explanation.

I have made no attempts to locate Inga in order to make contact.  To my knowledge, she continues to live in Pskov and maintains her jewelry design and sales business.  Whether she is with Denis, lives alone with Eva or has moved on to a new relationship is unknown to me.  Further, it really no longer matters.

I would like to think that publicly unmasking her in the fashion I chose served as a severe enough shock to her that Inga will be dissuaded from a similar adventure.  However, people with NPD rarely deviate from the well worn path familiar to their personalities.  Gaining insight and self-introspection are not talents that they hone. 

Over the course of the last few months, I have embraced retirement from work and have been traveling.  I no longer think about planning for three or am concerned about schools and careers.  

There is a blissful peace that has taken hold for which I am thankful.

[quinnmorgendorffer]

gob x tony

Oh boy okay okay first of all thank you for asking and sorry for taking so long to reply!!!

anyway.....

I am not exaggerating or speaking hyperbolically when I say that Gob/Tony is truly one of the best modern, CANON gay romances ever put to film.

First off, you have Gob's whole backstory. He's the disappointment, the one who should be the one to inherit his dad's company but is too incompetent compared to his younger brother. It's, again, canon that he's kept around to commit crimes for his family, use his charm, and - this one is his own thought process - fuck people to help the business.

He's the unwanted son, the bullet in his parents' shotgun wedding, canonically his mom's least favorite child and definitely not that high on his dad's list, either. The man is desperate for love throughout the whole show, leading to him freaking out when he thinks his girlfriend doesn't appreciate his magical abilities or using his bachelor party to try to frame someone for murder just because his dad's the one planning it. He cries when he thinks his brother didn't listen to his CD! He just wants people to love and appreciate him and it never seems to work.

Then he meets Tony. And even in "Sword of Destiny", Tony is impressed by him! And Tony takes enough interest to come to his wedding illusion and seem vaguely impressed as well - and note that no one from his family came to the wedding at all except Tobias, and that was just because he got an acting gig!

And, though they both were faking at first, Tony listens to him. Tony doesn't judge him. Tony is just as ridiculous as him, is just as "same" as him, and obviously feels a need to be around him for more than the Fakeblock scam, just like how Gob obviously wants to be around him for more than just to ruin his career. After all, they're both disappointed and hurt when they think the other is straight, not just angry and mad they did this for nothing like you would think if they didn't have feelings for each other.

And Gob, the man who consistently tries to run away from his problems - including even Tony at first in the beginning of s5 - becomes someone who actually proposes that they go on the road together, that Tony runs away with him. And then when he finds out that Tony is still really alive, he's the one who tracks him down and brings him back to Newport Beach.

And Tony, someone shown to not give a damn about anybody - he surely isn't romantic with Sally and he was doing something with his brother's widow ("it's fucked up") - cares so much about Gob. He tries at first to gently let him down when he's denying his own feelings. He apologizes for "missing" their sex date. He doesn't laugh at Gob for getting his words mixed up ("branding each other's taint"), which most everyone else does to him whether he realizes it or not ("the matriarch, if you will" "sure, I will"). He even agreed to do the 2nd of July float, and I cannot believe someone as show-boat-y as Tony fucking Wonder, someone who has to be the center of attention, would do a combined magician act for just anyone. And that's not even getting into the look of pure fucking LOVE Tony gives Gob in the series finale or how he's the one to suggest "Just hands!" to him.

And, outside of the canon of the show, I've seen some people say it started as a homophobic joke and I truly do not believe that. From my knowledge, Mitch basically made Gob a magician because it was funny. And you know what's funnier than one magician? Two magicians! And since magic is still weirdly a man's world, of course a magician couple happens to be two men. Will Arnett even said the story is sweet and is about Gob finding a connection he's never had before. And since they were planting hints of Gob's sexuality for YEARS, I find it hard to believe they were trying to be homophobic in any way. (Though, tbh, I have to agree with Maeby that "Gay Gob is funny.")

Anyway, I'll stop there. But tl;dr, Blunder is a true fucking masterpiece of romance and I will take no critiques on that.

Send me a ship and I’ll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it

[il-predestinato]

Hi! Can we have some context (and a lil' snippet of course 😉) of the evolutionary theory of attraction? Thank you ❤️

Oh yes, absolutely! It's inspired by this sequence from the Imperfects, a Netflix show where one of the characters' superpower is emitting very powerful pheromones. So everyone in her vicinity develops an unstoppable attraction/obsession with her. Specifically, I was inspired by the scene where she sprays a bottle of air freshener at her pursuers to break the pheromone smell and run away. 🤣 Well, I was thinking - our little Monegasque croissant already has VERY. DEVOTED. OBSESSIVE. FANS. What if we just turned that up a notch?

(Also to everyone else, I see your requests in my inbox! Have to bolt after this one but I will get back to you! 🥰)

title: the evolutionary theory of attraction (aka. Charles Leclerc and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Race Weekend)

summary: Of course, it would be typical Charles Leclerc luck that his body would pick the 2022 Monza race weekend to start uncontrollably emitting pheromones. And of course the only person immune to his scent is his very secret crush rival Max Verstappen.

Later, upon reflection - after he prevented a near apocalyptic event on planet Earth, and that was hardly a hyperbole - he would say that it all went to shit in the media pen after free practice. The week had started brightly enough, and Charles at the very least thought he could hold onto some measure of hope until Sunday - as history would suggest for this calendar year, but it seemed like his race weekend took its usual plunge much earlier.

To his best recollection, it started with an innocuous moment with Max Verstappen (typical, as far as unforeseen important events in his life went). Not that Charles willed it or anything, but the contact was initiated by the Dutchman, who brushed an arm against his in the “zoo.” (A term for the media pen that Alex coined affectionately in the drivers’ WhatsApp group, comparing them to animals to be gawked at, poked, and prodded for commercial gain. Albeit, very privileged and pampered animals, as Guanyu pointed out.)

An accidental touch, of course. Out of politeness alone (Max later insisted, while Charles rolled his eyes), the Red Bull driver paused beside him, which was not usual, and Charles waited patiently to receive his usual smile and greeting, but Max didn’t do either. Instead, he scrunched his nose - still slightly sunburned from the summer break - and sniffed twice at the air around Charles, which was unquestionably unusual.

Frowning and suddenly self-conscious, Charles looked down at his slightly sweaty team polo and gave a tentative sniff of his own. Sure, he was a little sweaty, but he didn’t notice any scent other than his usual anti-perspirant.

Max blinked once, twice, and then broke out in a wide smile. The one that scrunched the corners of both of his eyes, which was not something that Charles would ever admit to noticing, but nevertheless had the resulting effect of Charles forgetting whatever thoughts had preceded that moment.

“New body spray?” teased Max. “It’s not bad.”

Charles shook his head. “Flirt,” he muttered under his breath, after making sure the nearest microphone was well out of pick up range, earning both a soft chuckle and even deeper eye crinkles from his rival. If his heart thumped a little loudly, well - he would deny it with his dying breath.

Before either of them could get another word in, Max was promptly whisked away by his press officer to attend his next interview.

Ignoring his poorly disguised disappointment, his own press officer, Mia, beckoned him from a few metres away, directing him towards Ted Kravitz from SkySports. “Last one.”

Plastering a smile to his face, Charles made his way obediently towards Ted, who started off predictably with a question about Ferrari’s recent troubles. He was about halfway through his rehearsed answer about the team working hard to fix their setup issues when it happened again.

Ted, eyes almost half glazed over with a bead of sweat forming on his hairline, turned his head back and forth and… sniffed the air.

Charles was now really starting to feel self-conscious. Faltering mid-sentence, he glanced towards Mia, wondering if she should maybe call for medical assistance for poor Ted, or at the very least give Charles an excuse to leave and take a shower. But she too scrunched her nose and stared at Charles with a half-blank expression.

Ted broke the silence first. “You smell amazing!” exclaimed the reporter.

“Uh, thanks -” he stuttered, bewildered, but Ted cut him off swiftly.

“Charles, how does it feel to be the most handsome driver in the whole paddock?” Without waiting for a response, Ted leaned in - close enough that Charles could smell the other man’s… shampoo? Hair spray? He really didn’t want to know. It took every bit of his media training to not recoil dramatically at the sudden invasion of his personal space. But the SkySports reporter was undaunted, and added, “We must get a drink together after this.”

Deciding that he no longer cared if Head of Communications Silvia Hoffer Frangipane (Mattia may be the Team Principal but Sivia is - well, the boss) showed up in the zoo herself and strangled him then and there, Charles took two stumbling steps backwards and tried to unlock his half-open jaw. Then he tried pinching his arm to wake up from this bizarre nightmare. All that accomplished was a sore arm and a wave of disappointment at the realization that he was very much awake.

Fortunately, Mia intervened. “That’s an inappropriate question -” But Charles’s relief was short-lived. “What you should be asking Charles is how it feels to be the most handsome man in the whole world.”

Charles gaped at her. Either Andrea put hallucinogens instead of vitamins into his breakfast juice, or Twitter was correct and this season has caused him to lose his last shred of sanity.

“Of course,” snapped Ted, clearly annoyed by her interjection. “Charles, I will tell you how handsome you are over dinner. And then we can go back to my hotel room.”

“Over my dead body!” screeched Mia, lunging at the reporter. “I work with Charles. I love him! I have always been in love with him.”

Charles laughed - a hollow, humourless, desperate sound - as he started backing away in earnest.

Noticing his sudden movement, Mia and Ted advanced in his direction, still clawing at each other, and he was suddenly reminded of a scene from a zombie film he dearly regretted watching. Half of the people in the media pen, drivers and reporters alike, had paused their own interviews to stare at him.

Before he could lose his nerve, Charles decided to make a run for it. Ferrari can afford paying the fine.

Predictably, with his lack of luck this season, he managed to barrel straight into Max in his haste, almost knocking both of them to the ground.

“Charles?” He sounded concerned, not grumpy, despite Charles’s best attempt at bowling. “What’s wrong?”

Charles could hear his own rapid breathing and was all too aware of how close Max’s face was to his own. The blue eyes that stared back at him were confused but not unfocused, and the warm hand on Charles’s arm made his skin tingle.

“There’s something going on -” he started, but a new unwelcome touch on his cheek caused him to flinch.

Max’s press officer was no longer next to her charge, but pressed against Charles. “Oh my darling,” she tittered at Charles. “Are you hurt?” She nuzzled - actually nuzzled - his cheek, and Charles nearly swallowed a strand of her hair. “Show me where,” she cooed, unperturbed. “I’ll kiss it better.”

“Okay, what the fuck -” cursed the Red Bull driver, eyes wide in disbelief.

Wrenching his arm out of Max’s grasp, Charles bolted.

[littlerachelawrites]

Warning: it's not about Kallen, but Kallen is important character | a little ooc (?) | AU where Otto and Kallen have happy life (those children deserve for their happy ending!) | Kallen as the best wingwoman in the earth | fluff |

— Hmmm... are my cookies good? — Kallen asked with her normal optimistic, happy tone a fully of energy. — I really cooked those sweeties a lot of time!

— Yhmmm... — Otto barely swallowed his piece, similiar to you.

Howether those legends about a bad cooking skills of Kaslana's family members weren't hyperbole...

— Sweet cookies for my sweet friends! — Kaslana announced with happy and some kind of proud.

Those cookies weren't sweet. It tasted even worse than previous soup by which... NO! You didn't want remember this. Anyway, you and Otto didn't want to cause distress her by a such trivial thing as cookies. So we gladly nodded for what she clapped with satisfaction.

— It's really delicious, my dear Kallen. — Otto said as if he wanted to confirm his gesture. He grabbed the next cookie and he tried fiding his disgust.

— I'm happy that we finally have time for a friendly meeting, picnic among trees and... OH! — she suddenly a broke her monologue as she remembered something. — I put something in house! Be right back!

Kallen quickly ran, but she didn't stope a far to place of picnic. Her glad gaze attentively stared you and her childhood friend with expectancy what's happening at this moment, when you and Otto were alone.

But much to her surprise, Otto by gestures tried ask you about tissue, which you gave him with compassion in your eyes and face. It looked like he spit her cookies out to tissue and throw it into the the closest garbage. Of course, Kallen weren't happy by this situation.

— Not enough that's disgusting, this is unkind too! — she whispered to herself, but her gaze still was staring to her two friends. Otto sat down closer to you than earlier for what a Kallen's breath stopped with excitement.

— Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! — she chanted in her mind, but her a long awaited dream didn't coming, a least didn't in this moment.

You two didn't talk by a bit too long time for her. Her eyes squinted with disappointment — she didn't initiated and setted this situation for this deadly silence. She wanted seen you and him together or heard any conversation, really, any talking about common interests, which you have, even if she didn't understand it.

— I must do anything... — she whispered with desperation, cower in bushes. She strained her mind to thinking, but this wasn't to work. Suddenly, fortuna or different god smiled to her and her work.

— So... well... heh... — you tried say anything for loosen up the atmosphere. Otto turned around towards you and gave you curious gaze mixed with charming smile, which would bring every person to knees.

— Do you need anything from me? — he asked resisting his head on hand.

— N-no! I'm not, I only wanted talking with you, it's everything, what's I need from you! — you quickly explained your intention with a bit panic in voice, fearing as he understanding it.

— Oh... talking? Good, but about what? — he chuckled on your scared behaviour. It was really interesting and cute, when usually strong and fearless individual was becoming in shy.

— Are he flirting? — Kallen's breath stopped again on this think. Her guesswork about Otto's interest in you is true. She even had evidence for support this!

Meanwhile you still blushing, no knowledge, how you should interpreted his words. His gaze suddenly tuned around path which Kallen went off.

— Kallen already don't back a long time... — he whispered with worry. You looked where his eyes was, and you had admit right to him.

— Yeah, but don't worry, she's strong and can handle any threat! — you tried calm him from worries about his long-time friend, while Kallen was proud that you've think a such high about her, and Otto smiled for this.

— It's true... — he said with a little smile and thought for a brief moments. — ...she's really strong.

You approached to his and rested your head on his arm. His smell was really nice – not water cologne, but what's... you didn't specified this. But this smell made you feel relaxed and safe next to him. As in safe home, where you could return, when you need...

— Hmmmm... — you heard his silent, warm chuckled, and after a few seconds you quickly step aside with blushed face. You wanted apologise him for the discomfort, but his reaction didn't show discomfort, on the contrary.

Meanwhile, in bushes, Kallen almost jumped from happiness, which a full her person. Finally, what's happening and you both had brave. She waited a long time for this moment, but... this wasn't enough.

— I guess must leave their alone in Otto's room with bottle of wine... hihihihihihihi! — she chuckled and beamed with pride for her genius and perfect plan.

[septembersghost]

Am I a bad person if I really want to listen to Taylor today...not excusing her but I miss her music so much

anon bestie. first, *hugs*. second, i do not know how to stress, plead, implore enough with you all that loving music is not a moral or immoral action. yes, of course there are particular artists i myself would never engage with (and that is due to extremes), and there are artists i just don't like for whatever reason and that's subjective. on the "i would never engage with ___" side, i can say that for myself, confidently understand why, yet recognize i still don't have the right to tell others to follow suit. people have different boundaries, different tastes, and different ways of going about separating their enjoyment from other issues.

i know there's sincere concern about supporting "problematic" artists, particularly financially, and i do think that's an important conversation to have, especially when we're discussing people actively doing harm to others or platforming hate speech. taylor is not an abuser, taylor has not been trumpeting racist or homophobic etc rhetoric. i also realize the issue of complicity has come into play here because of that man, and that's why there's so much anger and hurt and disappointment right now, but ask yourself: does that man, who is not in any way, shape, or form a part of any of her music, have the power to steal that from you? do you feel like you have to suffer the loss of her music, which is clearly valuable to you, over one dirty rag of a man? i've been upset and critical too, but also feel like there's a call for perspective here. taylor alison swift is not causing the world's ills. tbh that man has no significant power or influence even compared to, like, a local politician. bigotry should be confronted and called out. at the same time, this is a microcosm of a conversation, and that doesn't mean it's not important to have it, and that doesn't mean people aren't absolutely valid in their criticism or hurt, what it means is that it is not impacting society as a whole. we get very caught up in fury over small things, especially when it's connected to something we are invested in, because it feels simpler to fix or righteous in some way or like the onus is on us to definitively prove we're upstanding people who don't condone harmful things, and that's fine, but at what point does it become futile? at what point are we just screaming into the void and self-recriminating for approval?

part of what's making this harder is we've connected taylor's music to her very personally, and she has fostered that herself, but i think now is the time to change that a bit. detach it from her however you can and think about what it means to you. you singularly not listening to her on streaming is pennies she won't ever notice are gone, it is causing her zero consequence whatsoever, but it sounds like it's hurting you. that, to me, isn't fair. you're suffering for her mistakes? or because that dude is a dirtbag? you do not have to punish yourself and crawl on your knees for forgiveness because you'd like to play my tears ricochet every once in a while. how exactly is the moral burden on us, as listeners, when we aren't condoning any -isms, we just want to hear songs we love?

i sound hyperbolic here but i'm really serious, it's concerning me that we're tying individual morality - am i a bad person inherently? (bad people don't tend to ask this question because they don't care). does listening to this artist whose work i enjoy taint me in some way because they've done things i disagree with? - to enjoyment of art. it's frighteningly conservative to think that you and your character should be called into question because you love something that isn't causing any outside harm. engagement with art cannot make you a bad person! it's (if you've seen the good place) chidi and his almond milk. we're damning ourselves for miniscule actions and so trapped in the anxiety of that it causes far more important things to slip by. what matters is what we do, how we engage with others, how we take action in the world.

the fact that you're worried about this, which means you've been aware and empathetic during this time, proves you care and are not a "bad" person. i haven't been listening to her and it's not because i think that's giving me moral high ground (it isn't), it's because i am very sensitive and don't want any of that music emotionally tied to what's been going on because i do actually want to go back to it someday, it's too cherished and too intrinsically part of me not to, and at the moment distance itself is healing. i also don't believe her music being such an aspect of my heart says anything about my moral fiber, you know? if i suddenly wanted to listen to red tomorrow, i'd give myself permission to do so knowing it is no measurement of my intellect or my moral integrity, and we've got to stop acting like art can make you good or evil.

sorry this became a very long soap box essay! but i'm worried at how much of this specific idea, of someone so far removed from us making a bad choice reflecting on you and making you personally responsible or irredeemable for that, is being perpetuated. listening to an artist because they make you happy or bring you comfort is not having a measurable impact on human rights or global crises, and it just feels super unfair that we're burdening and judging each other with this idea that enjoyment or passion for something harmless makes you fundamentally bad. the world is hard enough. i promise you that it's okay to allow yourself joy.

[maurofonseca]

a lil vent from twitter with a touch of editing

there's an annoying circumstance I'm developing where in regards to sonic, I'm having to learn I'm no longer just in fandom, and it's eh sounds like humble bragging and I mean, it's cool to have official influence in some things and see people draw fanart of stuff I designed and it's of course brill that I get to design a punk delinquent sonic character and pay rent with that

but it means now I know and have more perspective on things and it drives me mad seeing people have other assumptions that I'd love to correct but can't because it's either spoilers or just more trouble than its worth or even just, ruins the mood I notice on discord, I'm lurking and reading someone criticise things, sure, then I quickly correct something factually wrong like the issue something happened or what year some game came out, and now the presence of someone who works in the comics is known so the whole tone shifts and feels fairly awkward and you can tell everyone's holding their tongues

dunno, it's a weird mindspace. there's a bunch of people on tumblr whom I actually agree with a lot of takes regarding the comic or games, positive or negative, but who're very hyperbolic about it and also often are directly working from misinformation, whether based on getting public info wrong or just from info they can’t possibly be expected to know. I could try and just directly talk to them, but then that'd suck too- it's their fandom space and they're free to speak what they want, no? I'd hate it if everytime I said "I hate Ducktales 2017" I had someone from the team hop on in to go "um actually". Who'm I to go and intrude?

ah well. couple random examples- you've no idea how often I was going "oh no, oh nooo, oh darling no" seeing people VERY ENTHUSIASTICALLY go "if surge's girl, surge's sonic clone, sonic's girl, but presents male, trans sonic confirmed, it's canon!" that one really made me just want to go "please I don't want you to be disappointed when that ends up not being the case please you're jumping the gun aaaaaa" (and of course, if you still want to read sonic as being trans go ahead, just, it’s your headcanon, rather than the actual canon confirmation some people were expecting) another example "oops I have more power than I think"- I added those sonic manga references to the 30th story because I wanted it celebrated a lil bit then I see a jp fan go "wow sega acknowledged the manga they care!" and just go "oh no I'm sorry I didn't mean to trick you"

enough ramble I got a comic assignment to finish painting

[justice-is-a-weapon]

in vino veritas [dazai x gn reader]

·•━━━━━━━⋆⋅☆⋅⋆━━━━━━━•·

Chapter 1 / ?

previous / next

TW:alcohol

It has only been a week and I saw him again. I guess he was right.

"So we meet again, Ophelia!" "Unfortunately, I guess that's how it is." His shoulders slumped down a bit. He made a disappointed face, clearly exaggerating. "How come that you must hurt me so!", he cried, "I didn't even do anything!" "Yet." Another gasp. I sat down next to him. This time ordering just for me. He quirked an eyebrow. "So nothing for me today? You were so generous last time."

Yes I was. I wanted to get him to talk but the man didn't budge. I still knew absolutely nothing.

"As much as I'd like to, I don't have a, how do you say, a Geldscheißer? No, that's German. How do you say that-" I kept on rambling. I was still adjusting to the language. He looked terribly confused. "Ah fuck! A money crapper! You know what I mean." "I actually don't. Wait. Money crapper?! That's a thing?"

Great now he's laughing. Maniacally. Although, Dazais laugh was quite adorable I have to say. See, this one sounded real. But I had enough. I just needed a quick drink and then go home.

"Ah shut it." "I can't breathe-" "I SAID SHUT IT"

Great. Just great. I just wanted to have some after-work drinks. My sleep schedule was a mess already. But the play fight seemed to lighten my mood quite a bit. He must have noticed. Grinning he begins to speak: "I won't shut up and I know, deep down, you don't want me to as well." I was quiet. That should be enough of an answer. I'm not giving him more than that. "And that proves I'm right." The barkeeper put down my drink. Immediately I took a sip. "Oh are we feeling offended now?" Another pause from my side of the conversation. "You know Dazai? Sometimes staying silent is a better option than saying anything." "You remembered my name! Oh that makes me so ecstatic I might cry!"

Dazai was a walking hyperbole. Over the top. Overly dramatic. Too energetic. Usually I hate these types of people. They get on my nerves. Maybe it was the lonelines, the fact that only him and that glass of campari orange kept me company, that made me want him to stay. Or maybe, just maybe, I was just too proud to admit that I enjoyed the little conversation we were having. Anyway I let him stay.

"Of course I remembered your name." Another sip.

I eyed his glass. Still full. As expected. I don't know why he didn't drink with me. Am I that untrustworthy?

At the end of the night I was just a little bit tipsy. I still managed to get home to my flat. "You're quite the interesting individual, Dazai. ", I said while getting ready for bed.

Who knows when we'll meet again.

·•━━━━━━━⋆⋅☆⋅⋆━━━━━━━•· [I really hope that I'm writing Dazai correctly. He's such a complex character so it's easy to mess up. I've decided to divide the first few chapters in "nights" spent with him. I'll sprinkle in some information about the reader here and there.]

As always I am open for requests and ideas as well as feedback from you guys.