#hyuge writes

[hyuge]

Say Something

Chapter One

It has to be you, Kirishima.

Visions of hopeful, scarlet eyes smiling at Eijirou as they soared through the sky, filled his mind; only for that smile to immediately falter. Black goop burst forth from Bakugou’s mouth as he coughed and gagged. The hand that had reached for Eijirou’s slipped; fingertips brushed against his palm. Bakugou's cheeks flushed red, tears leaked from the corners of his eyes. He clawed at his throat as he fell out of the air towards the ground, out of Eijirou’s reach, until the black goop of the teleportation quirk consumed him. At the same time, the villains disappeared into the warp gate forced open by All for One on the ground. All hope for the future hero erased right before their eyes. Bakugou was gone, their rescue mission a failure, and Eijirou screamed.

His throat was hoarse as he was jolted awake from his slumber. The shout hadn’t just been something concocted from his imagination, it seemed. Eijirou reached for the glass of water on the nightstand, downing however much was left in a single gulp. He had the dream again. It was like a bad omen, meant to warn him of impending doom. Every time Eijirou had that dream, he had a run-in with the source of his nightmares, almost like a premonition, but his quirk wasn’t clairvoyance, it was hardening. And no matter how much he hardened his skin, it couldn’t ease the thoughts that plagued his mind. He could take a punch. He couldn’t take the psychological warfare that was his guilty conscience.

Eijirou swung his legs out of bed with a groan, scrubbing at his face with his hand in an attempt to wipe away the horrible nightmare. It had been years, and that day still haunted him – a permanent reminder of his greatest failure. Eijirou had strived to be better. He wouldn't lose anyone else the way they had lost Bakugou, and for the most part, he had accomplished that. Even through the war they had minimal casualties, but lives were still lost, and many were gravely injured. They had all been scarred over time.

Pale white lines wove against skin, disfiguring the ones who bore them. Years of therapy could never undo the trauma that had befallen Eijirou’s classmates. Some had it more difficult than others. Midoriya had taken things especially hard. He lost his childhood friend, his rival, his motivation to make himself stronger, but he also lost his mentor. Back then, no one knew the secret All Might and Midoriya shared, so they didn’t understand just how bad off he was. When Bakugou was taken away, so was All Might.

The number one hero’s attention had been pulled away from the fight. He had let his emotions get the best of him when his student was taken for a second time. Anger clouded his judgement, and his life was lost. All for One had been stopped, but at the cost of the Symbol of Peace. All Might held his fist up into the air, and he fell forward into the ground. Midoriya mourned the loss of his friend and teacher for months. Eijirou felt terrible, but he couldn't relate to Midoriya’s pain.

That small ball of green fluff went from the happy-go-lucky kid that he was, to one hell-bent on vengeance. Deku was no longer the name of a hero, but an antihero. Midoriya got the job done, but he was no longer the type to consider how another person felt. He was ruthless, and Eijirou blamed himself. If he had just done a better job at saving Bakugou, then he wouldn't have lost so many lives that night. If they had listened to the others and stayed put as instructed, then maybe the heroes could have saved his friend after all. The what ifs were endless.

Now, no one would ever know. Instead, he was forced to rise every morning, put on his hero costume, and pray no one else got hurt. He would not be the source of yet another tragedy. Eijirou ran his hand through his hair, feeling the greasy remnants of the last of the hair gel in his red locks that he hadn't washed out the night before. He would need to shower before work. Eijirou could only hope that the warm water would wash away the feelings of foreboding he found himself waking to.

He used to talk to the others about it—his sense of guilt and the dreams that plagued him—but after so many years, they had all moved on. They didn’t understand his pain, or his guilt. They would tell him it was the villains’ fault things ended up the way they did, and while that may have been true, Eijirou could never truly place the blame on the villains. He had been shouldering it himself for so long. It was his failure to grasp Bakugou’s outstretched hand that caused the destruction of the hero society they once knew. He could never take that back.

Soapy water swirled into the floor drain of his bathroom shower, spinning in circles like a whirlpool threatening to swallow him whole. Sometimes, Eijirou wished he could just disappear like the bathroom soap scum. It would be simple, effortless. He wouldn't have to risk his life fighting villains and he wouldn't feel as shitty as he did anymore. It would be someone else’s problem. Everything would be perfect, at least until the dreams started again. Or would they stop if he no longer put himself in a position to see the cause of his nightmares?

He stepped out of the shower, red hair hanging off his shoulders; water droplets falling off the tips, onto his skin, and down to the floor. Eijirou wrapped a towel around his waist, then grabbed a second one to dry his hair, ruffling the locks between the terrycloth. The shower cleansed him in body, but not mind. Eijirou stood there in the mirror, one hand holding the towel to his head, the other resting on his hip. He looked tired. The bags under his eyes were prominent and the shower did little to help energize him like he had hoped. It would make for a long day of work if he couldn't bring himself to perk up.

Eijirou knew he couldn't dwell on that day forever; years of therapy had instilled the fact that it was okay to move on, but every time he dreamt that dream, his smile would disappear. He spent so much time wondering what their lives would be like if they had succeeded. They had only known each other for a few months, he shouldn't have been so worked up about it, but they had grown close in that brief time—close enough for Bakugou to take Eijirou as his plus one on an exclusive island getaway. Like most things, it had been interrupted by villains, but they still had fun, given the circumstances.

He tossed the towel into the hamper and reached for a comb and his container of hair gel to make up his signature spiked look. Eijirou had been a pro long enough to know how to fake a positive attitude. He couldn’t let the citizens see him with such a sour disposition. When his hair was sufficiently spiked and his teeth were brushed, he slipped on a plain, black tank top and a pair of red jogging short. He would run to his agency. Some early morning fresh air could possibly be the thing he needed to help clear his mind. If not, then at least he would get his cardio in for the day.

Eijirou slipped his phone, wallet, and keys into his shorts pocket and kicked on his shoes, locking his apartment door as he left. He shivered slightly, goosebumps causing his skin to pucker, and he rubbed at his arms before starting his run. Spring mornings in Tokyo were always kind of chilly, but the cold never really bothered him too much. He would manage dressed as is, until he got to his agency. Eijirou had picked a medium-priced apartment complex only a few blocks from where he set up shop, so that he could quickly get to work in the event of an emergency. He was always on call, even with the others at his agency would yell at him to take a day off.

He couldn’t rest, not when lives were at stake. Eijirou waved to an old woman out walking her dog first thing in the morning. She was there every day. One morning, he had stopped and offered to walk the dog for her, but she said her walks were the only time she ever got out of her house anymore. Now when he has free time, he joins her. This morning however, he just gave her a small wave as he made his way to the brick building up the street. He was in no mood for small talk. She waved back with a gentle smile and the little white dog barked enthusiastically after him. So maybe the run was helping at least a little bit. Eijirou found himself chuckling at the dog’s excitement.

“Morning,” he greeted the young sidekick sitting behind the reception desk as he walked into the office.

“Mr. Red Riot, sir, I wasn’t expecting you here for another two hours!” The sidekick, Tatsuya, jumped to his feet.

Eijirou waved for him to return to his seat and the newbie sidekick obliged. He was a fresh recruit from Shiketsu Academy, and they were always so eager to please this early into their hero careers. Eijirou was reminded of his time with Fat Gum. Recruiting new sidekicks was always his favorite part about spring. The newly graduated students were always ready to take on the world and he was there to watch them grow. “I couldn’t sleep,” he simply told Tatsuya, patting the young hero on the head as he went. The fledgling hero nodded in reply.

Tatsuya was a diligent worker, and a strong young hero, with a highly sought after Quirk. Eijirou knew recruiting the kid was a battle. He had been given dozens of offers for agencies to join, but the Sturdy Hero held strong in the end.

Eijirou made his way to his office, shutting the door behind him as he walked in. He had a personal closet in his office where his hero costume was kept rather than using the communal locker room. His costume hadn’t changed much over the years, just some resizing for his increased stature. Eijirou secured the face mask around his head and slid the protective sleeves over his arms. As he laced up his boots, his stomach grumbled, and he regretted not stopping for breakfast on the way in.

He leaned over his desk, pressing the call button on his office phone to reach reception. Tatsuya picked up on the first ring. “Mr. Red Riot, sir?”

Eijirou shook his head with a smile, wondering when the kid would stop being so formal. “Hey Tatsuya, I’m getting hungry.”

“What can I get you sir? Do you want food from the bakery down the street? I can be there and back in fifteen minutes.”

He laughed. “No, no, no. I’ll go. I just wanted to see if you wanted anything while I was out.” Eijirou finished lacing the other boot and rose to his feet, scooping up the clothes he had worn to work and folding them to place in the closet.

“You can’t do that! I’m the sidekick. I should be getting you food.”

Eijirou rolled his eyes and pressed the red button on the phone, ending the call. He walked out of his office and leaned against the wall in the hall, arms crossed. “Kid, relax. I want to get you breakfast. You’ve been here all night.”

Tatsuya hesitated, but finally, green eyes looked up at Eijirou and he nodded. “Melon bread? And iced coffee?”

Eijirou smirked. “You got it.” He ruffled the boy’s sandy brown hair as he walked by, heading for the exit.

As Eijirou walked outside, he turned to stare at the giant red letters that read: Riot Agency. Even after two years of running his own agency, it still felt strange. Someone thought it would be okay to let him, Kirishima Eijirou, be in charge – mind boggling. Every time he looked at the logo, it reinvigorated him to do his best. Today would be no different. He would get breakfast for Tatsuya and himself, then send the kid home and route the agency calls to his cell phone so that he could go out on patrols. The other two sidekicks Eijirou employed would be in in the afternoon. Riot Agency was still small, but in the last two years, he had already climbed the hero ranks to secure the twenty-fourth spot.

His former classmates were all doing well in their respective careers as well. If only—he shook his head. Don’t think about it. Eijirou was trying to make his day better, not worse. He crossed the street and headed in the direction of the bakery. Eijirou could smell the scent of freshly baked bread coming from the shop before he even opened the door.

The baker was a kind old man that Eijirou had grown to know quite well over the last few years. His wife had passed some time ago, so his grandson helped out in the shop. It was too much work for one person, and try as he might, he could never figure out how to work the espresso machine. “Coffee shouldn’t be so complicated,” he would always grumble. It reminded Eijirou of someone else that had always insisted on only drinking black, drip coffee.

He wandered through the small aisles of the bakery and picked up a set of tongs. There was a tray by one of the displays and Eijirou set the melon bread Tatsuya requested on it. His crimson eyes roamed over all the sweet treats until he decided on a couple slices of cinnamon pound cake. With his tray of food in hand, Eijirou set the tongs in a wash bin and carried the bread to the counter. “Morning, Mr. Yagima,” he greeted with a smile.

Mr. Yagima turned around from his spot behind the counter and squinted his wrinkled eyes at Eijirou. “You should really wear a shirt, young man,” he chided, “you’ll catch cold.” That was routine with them. Mr. Yagima would always treat Eijirou like one of his own children, and Eijirou would laugh off whatever remark he made.

“I need a cappuccino and an iced coffee with extra cream today!”

Mr. Yagima grunted in reply. “I’ll get you rang up. Kenma is out back sorting the recycling. He should be back in a minute. He’ll get you your drinks.”

Eijirou smiled fondly and pulled his wallet out of the pants pocket of his costume. He rifled through for a thousand yen note and placed it in the weathered hand outstretched before him. “Things fairing okay? Those kids from the middle school not bothering you anymore?”

“I told you I could handle it on my own. Bunch of no-good punks,” Mr. Yagima muttered as he placed the money in the register.

“Grandpa, you would have literally started them on fire if it wasn't for Red Riot intervening.” Kenma appeared through a door behind the counter, carrying a tray of freshly baked loaves of bread in his arms. He was about the same age as Eijirou, but when he spoke, his voice held a wisdom that was beyond his years.

“It would have taught them a lesson!”

“It would have gotten you arrested,” Eijirou corrected with a chuckle. “Morning, Kenma.”

“Morning,” said Kenma. “Cappuccino and iced coffee?” he asked, knowing the drink order by heart.

“You got it!”

Kenma smiled, set the tray of bread down on a stainless-steel table, then made his way to the machine to begin the drinks. When they were done, he set them on the counter in front of Eijirou. “Be careful out there.”

“Always,” replied Eijirou fondly, then he took the drinks and the bag of food and headed out the door back to his agency.

Tatsuya was still behind the desk when Eijirou returned. He jumped to his feet and took the offered iced coffee when Eijirou handed it to him, then the melon bread. “Thank you, sir.”

Eijirou nodded. “No problem, kid. You can head home. I've got things covered until the others get here.”

“You sure?” asked Tatsuya tentatively.

“Mhm,” Eijirou hummed with a nod. “Go home. Get some rest. You’ve been on all night.”

“Thank you, sir.” Tatsuya gathered his things and made a beeline for the locker room.

Concurrently, Eijirou headed for his office to eat his breakfast. He would head out on patrol when he was done.

***

Patrols almost always started the same way. He would wander the streets with no real direction in mind, just making his presence known to all that were about. It was a deterrent for anyone considering causing trouble. It also gave the civilians peace of mind, which was something they needed after everything they had been through. The citizens of Japan arguably suffered worse than any of the heroes did from the war. The League of Villains might have been gone, but they left a permanent stain on the nation.

His quiet morning turned into an afternoon of chaos when Eijirou heard the all too familiar sound of explosions in the distance and his heart clenched. Much like his former classmates, he spent years chasing the sound of explosions only to come up empty every time. His attention was pulled to a cloud of smoke rising high above the buildings down the street. Those damn dreams really were bad omens. He knew the source of the destruction without even seeing it. The haunting image of angry red eyes, a smug grin, and fair blond hair plagued his thoughts every time he was out on patrol.

For years, the explosive villain eluded him and the other heroes, and Eijirou knew it was because they couldn’t bring themselves to lock him up. Try as they might, the moment they laid eyes on the villain known as C4, their attacks would falter. He was a constant reminder of Eijirou’s biggest failure. As he rounded the corner, a head of grimy blond hair came into view. Eijirou sucked in a breath. His heart thrummed wildly in his chest and his muscles tensed, body going rigid as he hardened his skin.

Sensing his approach, the villain turned to face him. “You gonna fight me, hero?” C4 spat, hands poised in front of his body defensively. There were shouts from other heroes on the scene and despite his loud antics, C4 had managed to escape his pursuers with ease.

Blood pounded in Eijirou’s ears, and he wasn’t sure what was louder, his heart or the shouts of injured citizens screaming for help. C4 needed to be stopped at all costs. They had let him get away with his terrorism for far too long. He faced the person he used to call a friend—the person he failed to save. The memory of Bakugou’s hand slipping through his as they were hundreds of feet in the air played on loop every time his eyes shut. Like a tattoo, the memory was etched into the forefront of his mind. The hope in those scarlet eyes disappeared before Eijirou’s as Bakugou coughed up the black goop that All for One used to teleport the league of Villains. He was gone, left to the mercy of the League, and brainwashed for years to come.

If only there was a way to stop him without having to fight. If he could reason with C4, that would be the best outcome. Bakugou was loud and abrasive, but he was not without reason. Eijirou had always hoped a part of him was still in there somewhere, but there was no life left in those red eyes, devoid of all emotion. Emptiness stared back at him. “I won’t fight you, Bakugou.” He had tried talking to him so many times, but Eijirou’s words always seemed to fall on deaf ears.

C4 furrowed his brows, unamused by Eijirou’s refusal to battle. Fighting was the only thing the villain liked to do. It was the only thing he knew how to do. That part of Bakugou was unchanged after all these years. “What kind of fucking hero won’t fight a villain?” He spat at the ground, digging the front of his boot into the dirt, and letting off a small warning pop from his hand. “Guess I’ll have to kill you then.” C4 lunged forward.

Fighting the villain never seemed to work. He always flew away as soon as it looked like he might be at a disadvantage. Eijirou needed a tactical advantage in which he could suppress the villain so that he couldn’t escape. He was so tired of fighting his former friend. Every time they encountered one another, another tiny piece of him died inside. Eijirou bit his lip and sighed, taking a step forward. “Okay,” he said. He relaxed his arms, spreading them wide, and shut his eyes.

C4 stopped in his tracks, palms heated to attack. “What do you mean, okay? Is this some kind of shitty fucking trick?”

Eijirou cracked open one eye and gulped. He needed to go for broke. He only hoped that a bit of sincerity could break through the villain’s hardened shell. “No. No trick. If I’m going to die in a villain attack, I’d rather it be from you, for failing to save you. I’m sorry.”

C4 stared at him—sizing up Eijirou. “What the fuck are you apologizing for?”

He opened his other eye, looking the villain straight in the eye. Eijirou pressed his lips together into a sad smile. “For failing to be the hero you needed all those years ago. Midoriya was wrong. It shouldn’t have been me. It was never me.”

A blond brow ticked up and C4 twisted his face into a snarl. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Kamino,” Eijirou breathed.

Unrecognizable red eyes stared back at him, as if trying to put splinters of broken glass back together. There were pieces scattered about, but too small and shattered to reattach in the puzzle of C4’s mind. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said.

Eijirou swallowed, his chest tight and his breathing labored. “You remember, don’t you? You have to remember. We came to save you that night, your friends—I came to save you. The League of Villains kidnapped you.”

“I was never kidnapped.” C4 cut in. “I joined the League of Villains of my own volition. They were recruiting people with strong Quirks, and I have a strong Quirk.” The lines coming from his mouth sounded prerecorded, as if they had been recited a thousand times.

Eijirou curled his hands into fists, nails digging half-moons into his palms. His knuckles were turning white, but he fought the urge to grab C4 by the shoulders and shake him until he remembered. “No,” Eijirou corrected. “You weren’t recruited. They kidnapped you. They brainwashed you. That bastard Aoyama told them where we would be—where you would be.” When the news came out that Aoyama was the mole, their entire class had been shaken. Midoriya beat the man bloody. It wasn’t until the teachers stopped him that he relented. Aoyama betrayed their class, their friendship, and got Bakugou kidnapped.

“I don’t know anyone by that name. You’re making shit up.” The villain’s hands began to crackle as he set up small explosions in warning.

“What about Midoriya? You have to remember him!” Eijirou was desperate to make a connection. Anything. If there was even the slightest flicker of hope that the old Bakugou was still in there somewhere, maybe he could still be saved.

“Midoriya.” C4 looked as if he was mulling the name over, still trying to fit those splinters together. “Deku.”

“Yes!” Eijirou clapped his hands together. “Deku! That’s his hero name now.”

“Deku is the wielder of One for All. The hero Deku is at the top of the kill list.” The small explosions coming from C4’s hands grew in size. They were no longer a warning, but the start of an attack.

No! No, no, no! That’s not what Eijirou wanted. All he had done was remind the villain of his mission. “Bakugou, please! You have to remember. They couldn’t have taken everything from you. You’re too strong for that. You wanted to be the number one hero more than anyone else.”

“That was a fantasy. Being a villain is reality. It’s what I’m most suited for.”

Eijirou shook his head in dismay. “You can’t believe that! We fought villains together, side by side. The two of us.” C4 grimaced and Eijirou decided to give it one last push. He could hear the sirens wailing. Police would be on them soon and he would never get through to the villain once that happened. His voice was much softer now, barely audible with the sounds of destruction going on around them. “Did the I-Expo mean nothing?”

They never talked about what happened between them. As soon as they returned to Japan, they had to pack their bags for the training camp. It all went by so fast. But there was a moment before the villains attacked the island and they were wrenched into another battle, when it was just the two of them, alone in an elevator ascending the floors of the tower to a botanical garden Eijirou had read about on the plane. Time seemed to stand still in that small box, and they shared a moment that was never spoken of again.

“Did that kiss mean nothing?” he asked, a little louder.

The heat radiating off the villain’s hands dissipated, and he furrowed his brows. His lips were pursed in frustration as he tried to understand the question. Slowly, Eijirou could see the gears beginning to turn behind those dark, scarlet eyes. “It… it wasn’t… it didn’t—”

Before C4 could get out whatever it was he was trying to say, a squad of police officers came marching down the street, guns aimed on the villain. “Freeze! Put your hands up.”

C4 spun around, facing them, and shook his head. He pointed his palms down so that they were facing the pavement, and a large blast propelled him into the air. He was gone in a flash; just like always. Eijirou fell to his knees and a hardened fist slammed into the ground, cracking the asphalt. Son of a bitch! He had finally said something to get through to his old friend, and it was gone in the blink of an eye. Eijirou doubted the villain would allow him another chance like that again.

***

“You let him go.”

Eijirou slammed his fist down on the interrogation table, staring across the metal surface at Detective Tsukauchi. “I did not let him go! I connected with him. It’s the first time anyone has managed to do that in years!”

Detective Tsukauchi rubbed at his eyes between pinched brows. “Red Riot, please calm down. I understand how difficult this must be for you, but apprehending the villain is the fastest way we can go about helping him.”

“You mean locking him up in Tartarus for the rest of his life.”

The detective sighed, shaking his head. “Brainwashed or not, Bakugou Katsuki is responsible for the loss of hundreds of lives and countless destruction. There’s no guarantee the effects of the brainwashing can be reversed after such a long time. He needs to be detained. Only then can we attempt to help him, but he still has to pay for the crimes he has committed.”

Eijirou’s mouth felt dry, his tongue too thick to form words. He felt sick, like he might vomit at any second. He covered his mouth with his hand, breathing slowly through his nostrils. “Can I get you some water?” asked Detective Tsukauchi. Eijirou shook his head.

“Is there anything else that you need? Or can I head back to my agency?”

The detective grimaced but nodded in the direction of the security camera overhead and the door to the interrogation room opened from the outside. “You’re free to go. But please, Kirishima, remember that this villain is not the same person you knew almost a decade ago.”

Eijirou locked eyes with Detective Tsukauchi and nodded once before rising to his feet. “I know.” He knew better than anyone that Bakugou wasn’t the same person anymore. The others had run into him a number of times over the years, but no one more than Eijirou. He walked out the door of the interrogation room and followed an officer that escorted him to the exit. Eijirou gave the officer a small wave before leaving the police station and heading back in the direction of the Riot Agency.

He was sure to find his young sidekicks in a frenzy when he returned, but Eijirou decided to take the long way back. He needed a breather after the day’s events. Today’s encounter had been unlike any before and there was a lot to process. He made progress, small as it may have been, it was still progress. That meant there was the potential for him to get through to Bakugou. How many tries would it take? Could he even manage to convince the blond to listen to him a second time? Eijirou was lucky enough to breakthrough once. Twice would be a miracle.

Eijirou walked past a small park and took a seat on an isolated bench. He rested his head in his hands, propping his elbows on his knees. He had to think about what he could do differently in the future. If only they could figure out where C4 was hiding. The rest of the League had been done away with during the war. Only C4 remained. His friend was a puppet without a master. He acted on instinct and programming, nothing more. C4 was like a feral dog, abandoned by its owner.

Nobody knew how the villain got by on a day-to-day basis. Did he have an apartment? Pay bills? Go grocery shopping? C4 always looked filthy whenever Eijirou encountered him, but he wasn’t sure if that was from a lack of hygiene or just the throws of battle. “I wish I could follow him,” he said out loud, leaning back against the park bench. If only I had some sort of mobility quirk.

You can read it in full on AO3 or stay tuned for chapter updates every Friday until caught up to where it is at present.

[whereiswonderland]

i have kept a review notification on my phone for this fic just so i don't lose all hope lol

[bucksboobs]

HYUGE part of the disconnect with heartstopper discourse is that 99.99% of people on the critical side are arguing from the perspective of analyzing and questioning the writing decisions and a good chunk of the rebuttals are arguing from the in universe perspective where these things literally and unchangably happened and are above the question “why?”

To use a crude but universal metaphor I’m asking why the curtains are blue and people are screaming that the curtains ARE blue and the sunlight should never have to forgive them for that.

[blueikeproductions]

Transformers fans have been going over a new quarterly report and there’s good news and bad news. The former is Transformers is Hasbro’s strongest performing brand, the later is RotB and EarthSpark’s toy sales are stinkers. In particular, EarthSpark’s considered an underperforming product, with the show’s ratings in the smelting pool. As some of us anticipated, the second season is the most we’re gonna get, no third season or beyond.

So as much as some don’t want to hear it: EarthSpark is essentially a flop, and the second season coming at all is more because it’s too late to axe it.

What’s carrying the toys so far are the collector lines: Legacy and Studio Series. For better or for worse, do NOT doubt the power of nostalgia. Also pricing. A friend was telling me a parent audibly freaked out at the prices of the EarthSpark toys, so that’s keeping parents away.

Do kids still like Transformers? Well in my experience they do, but they largely liked G1, Prime, RiD15, Bayformers and Rescue Bots. They did NOT like Cyberverse (especially in Japan where I’m told toys are STILL rotting on shelves down there), and now apparently EarthSpark. I didn’t see RotB in theaters so I can’t speak for that, but I did see a lot of kids at Bumblebee when it was in theaters.

The easy answer on its failure, and we all know GriftTubers will latch on to it, is Nightshade. Transformers making it on to Fox News is NEVER a good thing… not helped as the owl continues to be controversial due to the Japanese dub deciding to make them male. (Personally I say split the difference if Nightshade ever reappears and make them he/they but still.) I’ve been clear on my stance that NS is fine and cool, but I’ve also placed more importance on their skills, interests and personality. Their gender is not important to me to get them to like them, but the unfortunate problem is too many people on both sides focus on their identity and it scared off normies and parents. Again, well meaning like the Blue’s Clues Pride Parade, but read the room. There was a way to make NS work and still let them be NB, but they didn’t do it, and I still say the old “they’re Terran because gender means nothing to them as a robotic life form” was the way to do it.

The more nuanced answer however is more complicated. ES wound up being another kids show that was actually for adult fans and not kids, choosing to instead focus on a sense of identity and HYUGE importance on family. Stuff that isn’t bad on its own, but most modern writers and executives don’t understand subtleties: resulting in a lot of Bludgeoning of well meaning ideas in a show that doesn’t feature the Master of Metallikato. Most kindergarten and elementary school kids aren’t THAT interested in that stuff, they like Pokémon, Mario, classic Disney, classic Star Wars and anime in my experience. And Transformers has a certain expectation among people, and while there’s been stuff in the past that involves talking about things (Rad having environmentalist tendencies and Optimus respecting his feelings on needing to protect the environment when a fire breaks out during a Mini-Con Panel hunt, with Tigatron, Optimus and Dinobot having a similar conversation more than once in Beast Wars), if the Autobots AREN’T waging their battle to destroy the evil forces of the Decepticons, most aren’t interested.

This feeds into the show’s writing which also I think killed it: the show’s writing is decent but it only gets weaker as it goes along. The overfixation on making the Decepticons into misunderstood bullies who need a hug, despite also showing them perfectly content to kill people, the mixed signals of all the known Earth Decepticons now being friends with the Maltos, Optimus being a doofus the longer the show went on, the heavy IDW slants that weren’t popular at all with general audiences like Autobot Megatron, and Fix Fic Blue Eyed TFP Starscream. There’s also lack of proper follow up on plot threads like Ravage and Mandroid’s friendship with Alex, Schloder’s reasoning for hunting Bee being stupid, mysterious Transformer artifacts, poor reasoning on Energon aliens running amuck, why Cybertron never re-established contact, the lack of understanding why Quintus Prime seems to have such an interest in Earth and why the Emberstone is even here at all and more. Sure some of this might be touched on better in season 2, but do I trust this writing team now? No. No I do not. I think this can be summed up by the rejected episode pitch with Ratchet and Drift. More focus was put on them being husbands, and while both tried offering their own reasonings for the Cyber Sleeves, there was no concrete answer provided on why the kids had the sleeves. Its especially odd in that I wager they would’ve played up Ratchet’s atheism from IDW, but never once have Quintus actually speak up through the sleeves, like a joke in Family Guy where Stewie calls out Brian’s atheism because Jesus crashed on their couch recently. The episode is just… more fluff. People don’t want fluff in Transformers, and we’re seeing that with how well the Energon Universe is continuing to kick everything’s afterburner in comics. IDW never did that. The best selling stuff towards the end was the Marvel G1 prequel and sequels, and the Beast Wars reboot and those were still low in the rungs.

So what can be done to get kids more on board with new TF content? Go back to basics. Transformers desperately needs a new Beast Wars style show to give it a kick in the pants tv show wise. Earthspark I think fancied itself as that but was not meant to be. The Energon Universe is a good start: the true Neo G1 successor to the 80’s cartoon canon so far. The easy joke me and a friend have made is to just adapt the Energon Universe for tv, but it’s not ready yet. I think using it as a spring board would be useful and having the Void Rivals be supporting characters would help expand their exposure. But the simple matter is this: absolutely under no circumstances use IDW/MTMTE post war stuff. I’m willing to go as far as using characters like Adaptus, Nova Prime, Nominus Prime and the Guiding Hand for certain things but that’s it. Classic good Autobots vs evil Decepticons. Megatron is full on evil like in G1, the movies & Unicron Trilogy: no more of this making him into a repentant Anakin nonsense. More of stuff like Optimus’s friendship with Sparkplug and Spike and his consoling of the deer. Earthspark was on the right track making him more lighthearted and closer to the well meaning dad he was in G1, but they pushed it too far the other way like Cyberverse did. Maybe ease back on Bumblebee a smidge, that worked with ROTB and Energon Universe so far, and other than maybe a little mixing and matching (Like Strongarm, Iguanus, Fixit, Barricade, Blackout and other guys being main Bots and Cons for a change), stick to the basics.

Edit: adding more because I had to go run an unexpected errand. Not only the basics, but let’s revisit the idea of a proper anime again. It’s the second major modern anime boom in the States, why DON’T we have a new RiD or Unicron Trilogy type thing? And no I refuse to consider Prime Wars and War For Cybertron anime. I don’t care what Netflix calls it. The fact we don’t have a TF anime currently is baffling; the last time we had an anime was Transformers Go!, and that was more of a one off spiritual Brave successor. I’d rather at this stage Takara commission a new kids anime for Transformers with writers over in Japan scripting the premise who know what they’re doing to make a fun children’s show. Then it can be dubbed and we get Blum, Kaplan, Zeno and other popular/veteran anime dub voice actors to reprise roles/do new ones. I don’t care if Trigger, Toei, Polygon, Science Saru or whoever animates it, my stipulation going forward is 2D animated TF anime, but with designs that are easier to hand draw. Like somewhere between G1 and Transformers Animated. I liked the Armada designs but I can see why Energon and Cybertron opted for CGI for the robots because they became way too technical to draw outside of very specific scenes. If full on 2D robots wasn’t acceptable, the CGI technology used for SSSS. Gridman and Bravern is acceptable, but a full return to 2D animation is preferable.

As for a setting: Earth. Autobots protecting their human friends against the Decepticons. A new gimmick properly implemented from the toys into the show, with the Quintessons as a villainous third party with a stake in the affairs, hiring Mercs like Devcon, RoughEdge, Lockdown and Rampage, or freelancers like the Skuxxoid and villainous Void Rivals to do their dirty work.

Something like that, but above all else cast wise: Blaster and his Cassettes MUST return. And to acknowledge EarthSpark, Hashtag can be his kid sister, with Twitch as one of Hashtag’s own cassettes. Everybody wins.

[jazwritesalot]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @wingsonghalo (I'm using my fandom account for this ILY)

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 69!

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 372,792, which is about what I thought

3. What fandoms do you write for? Currently it's BNHA, FMA, and Mob Psycho 100. But I have also written for Soul Eater in the past and may look into revisiting that series.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? Auras Tell All, Shaken, Not Stirred, Mocha Choco Latte, Of Ink-Dipped Petals and Tattooed Hearts, and Salted Caramel Doubleshot

5. Do you respond to comments? I try my best to! Sometimes I get behind on it though.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Ignoring all of my Soul Eater fics, since they're old and I somewhat want to rewrite them, I think the angstiest ending would be To the Moon, my only Hanako-Kun fic.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Right now, I think the happiest ending is my Camie/Jirou fic, mother tongue, which was written for the @novapulsezine. But, most of my fics have a happy ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not really. I think I'm pretty lucky.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? You know it ;) And I write a wide spectrum of it, but mostly it's KiriBaku or ShinKami smut when I do write.

10. Do you write crossovers? I've dabbled with it, but never have posted anything.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I don't think so, but I can't quite remember, LOL.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? None yet, but that would be fun!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I suppose you could say I have. Back in the SE days, I would RP, and we would turn the RPs into fics.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? I think if we go back to my roots, my favorite would be Yoh Asakura and Anna Kyoyama.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Teenage Dirtbag, my FMA HS AU fic. I've had plans for it for years, but never can seem to get the words on paper TT_TT

16. What are your writing strengths? Description of settings and internal dialogue

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Probably action scenes-I feel like they tend to fall flat. But, there's always something I could improve upon in my writing.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I think that it would be okay as long as it's thoroughly checked to make sure what you're saying is accurate. I tend to shy away from it, just because I don't want to offend anyone.

19. First fandom you wrote for? On AO3, it was Soul Eater. In general, it was probably Twilight or Ouran High School Host Club with my friends during classes in middle/high school.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? It's a tie between Mocha Choco Latte and Shaken, Not Stirred. I love both of these babies and they are my heart and soul.

I tag @hyuge, @lifeform286, @kitkatrix, @kittywritesfic, and whoever else sees this and would like to participate!

[tellmewhatyouc]

7, 20, 12 for the love your fandom meme?

love your fandom ask game

7. your favorite tropes to read/write/draw

hmmm overall probably hurt/comfort, more specifically in a medical setting like injury care & recovery etc

i just like writing people caring about each other/taking care of each other tbh

20. your very first fandom!

a bit of a complicated answer jfkdsf the first thing i got DEEP INTO was zelda, but i never engaged with it much in a transformative way. i roleplayed a lot of homestuck but didn't interact with people or write anything outside of that. the first fandom i ever posted about on ao3 was daft punk, hence the username(s) i've claimed. but the first fandom i was like REALLY INVOLVED in, running events and making friends and stuff, was the band twrp! (+ adjacent fandoms)

12. compliment someone else in your fandom

@hyuge hiii your dedication to running events across multiple fandoms is both impressive and slightly terrifying (in a good way), thanks so much for all your hard work! 💕

@belovedstill we don't share specific fandoms afaik but in the couple months since i've gotten to know you a little better you've been so supportive and enthusiastic and your vibes are exquisite ty

[wyldblunt]

Sooo, how's the alan/glyn rekindle going? ~🌸

WE'RE ACTUALLY STILL DECIDING... as in like, we know Something clicks over the course of lws4 but we're not sure exactly when. which, like, this is how marina and i write 90% of our lore frankly. like we know stuff happens and then it takes us forever to pin down the specifics of when and how. like, i think we still haven't 100% actually decided when everyone (as in alan + lorelei + dragons watch + viper squad) finds out glyn and merrit are ex-nightmare??? we have floated the idea of it coming out during HoT bc they get recognized by the courtiers the gang finds held prisoner in the mordrem camp etc etc but. like. Massive Massive Plot Event that we still have decided on 0 specifics for. anyway that was a huge tangent uh

definitely by the time all or nothing wraps up glyndwr is openly admitting he's still in love w alan (not that this wasn't obvious to literally anyone who knows them but him verbalizing it is a HYUGE deal) and alan is receptive to/quietly reciprocating that. by the time icebrood saga starts they are like, 100% officially dating again. so maybe they actually have some serious convos in the time between the end of lws4->ibs....?? but i think them tumbling back into being affectionate w each other/hooking up again happens way sooner than that frankly lol. they can't help themselves

overall it's rly good tho. for both of them. they needed the time apart but now they need to be together even more :') i started typing "maybe they're taking it slow" but on second thought honestly i don't think they are. i think in a lot of ways they're just kind of picking up where they left off, But Better, and it's a huge relief for both of them

[redheadbigshoes]

hello… i can’t tell if i’m a bisex with a hyuge preference for women, or a lesb. i’ve had crushes on guys before, but i tend to crush on every male i come across (i went to an all girls school so they were few and far between), plus i only saw these males irl for at MOST 14 days, usually only about 3 days, the rest was online, and i didn’t see them. i’ve been very internalized misogyny and homophobic and always been afraid of/disdainful of lesbians because of falling down the alt right pipeline when i was 10 (out of that now thank gawd). last time i thought i was a lesbian i cried because it made me so upset… but being with a woman long term is sooo much more right than being with a male. this being said, i’ve found a journal entry from when i was 14 detailing how i loved men and how they dress… of course, this was before i got my sex drive (at which time my affection for women became unavoidable), but i do remember feeling very intense admiration writing that. im just… confused. i don’t want to appropriate lesbianism but at the same time i recently had my first kiss with a male (currently a freshman in college), and once i realized he really liked me i just… got so bored. there was nothing wrong with him beyond his pretentiousness and boringness but like. bleh. nothing compared to the girl i like now. i just hate males. sorry, but i do! i cant help it! i’ve had all positive male role models growing up, but i just don’t like to be around most of them long term. but when i am i get obsessed with quite a few them/start “crushing” immediately. what does it all mean ?!?!? im so lost, and afraid of being a lesbian, but disturbed by being a bisexual. it just doesn’t feel right!? but also i am biphobic which complicates everything. argh. ik it doesn’t matter but it does stress me out a little bit (a lot).

Hi. I think you should first question if all those crushes were actually crushes. From what you said it makes sense you (without realizing it) choosing every guy you meet to be your crush, because 1) you were probably taught that girls are supposed to like boys 2) considering you used to go to an all-girls school it also makes sense you immediately trying to find boys you like.

The second question you should ask yourself is: when you think about guys you think you like, whenever you think about them do you feel something positive? Like you feel you could date them, kiss them, perhaps have sex with them? Or maybe you feel a kind of nervousness that doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable? If the answer to all those questions is no, you’re probably mistaking finding men attractive with actual attraction.

I went through the same experience you mentioned about the guy you kissed. Whenever I tried dating men the second they showed interest I’d “lose” that interest.

You should read the bisexual manifesto and see if you relate to the experiences there. Try reading the lesbian masterdoc as well (it’s on my pinned post). I posted some videos of a girl talking about comphet and other lesbian experiences here, to watch the other videos you just have to click on the tag #source: patronsaintoflesbians

[toadstoolism]

2 for basics, 2 for fandom, 2 for tumblr!

❥ questions for the mun

basic: what is the muse that you write for the longest?

it's hard to say when they're always so on and off... for currently active muses it'd be peach since 2014, but nepeta leijon from homestuck is a mews muse i've had since 2013

basic: Do you tell your friends / family that you write?

Hell No. at least not family dfjdghd

fandom: in what fandom did you start?

i can't remember clearly but i think it was h*rry p*tter as far as rp ventures go...very long ago

fandom: have you ever developed an OC for a certain fandom?

if ffxiv warriors of light count, i got one of those! and a half-baked non-wol oc too. i've also developed a pokemon (glaceon) gijinka. these are hyuge for me since i'm not much of an oc person

tumblr: what was your first blog / url?

it was royalfruit, my first ever peach blog and rp blog in general teehee (it's gone now tho)

tumblr: what new addition would make your tumblr experience so much better?

more like i wish tumblr would roll back all the changes they've done over the years that have made tumblr rp Harder 😔

[lonely-dog-song]

i dont have anny excuse for not doing this paper, i just like..... don't want to do it

[miraculousandbts]

Suga | So Immature

Yoongi was peacefully writing a song in his studio. He had a lot of ideas, but he was struggling to connect them. If one was about love, then the other was about humility. He was confused (Yoonfused. XDXD). He decided that he needed a break to collect his thoughts, and thinking so, he got up. A walk in the park sounded good, but he'd had to take bodyguards and everything. He wanted to be alone, so he shot down the idea immediately.

What to do? What to do? He started getting frustrated just because he didn't know what to do to destress. He suddenly got an idea. Surely spending time with his brothers would help? He went outside his studio, and checked the kitchen and the hall, knowing he'd find Jin there. Instead, he found Hoseok trying to find something to snack on. "Hobi, where's Jin hyung?" He asked as he opened a cabinet full of snacks and took out a packet for Hoseok and himself. He threw the packet at Hoseok.

"Thanks, Yoongi hyung." Hoseok caught the packet and opened it. "And I don't know where Jin hyung is. I was expecting him to be here. I thought I'd ask him or you to whip a small snack for me because I couldn't find these," he pointed at the packet in his hand, "but then I remembered that you were writing a song, so I didn't disturb you. Why are you looking for him anyway?" Yoongi just hummed, and explained the situation to Hoseok.

"Let's go search for him then. Someone must know where he is." Hoseok simply took his hand and dragged him to Namjoon's room.

"Joon-ah! Do you know where is Jin hyung?" Hoseok went straight to the point as soon as he entered. Yoongi didn't know why he felt like he just had to find Jin hyung, or why was Hobi was enthusiastic about it too. "He's in your room. How can you not know that?" Namjoon raised an eyebrow as he turned around. He was checking BTS's schedule for the next week, and was making small changes here and there, while texting about those changes to their manager.

Hoseok and Yoongi left him to continue doing his work peacefully. "Your room? Seriously, how didn't you know that?" Yoongi asked the younger male. "Well, Jimin is sick, and you've been practically living in the studio for the past week, so I kinda moved in your room. Don't worry, I haven't touched a single thing that didn't belong to me."

"And nobody thought it was important to at least let me know, let alone take my permission?"

"Please! We know better than to disturb you when you lock yourself in the studio. Apparently we always enter when you have a genius idea." Hoseok muttered the last part under his breath and rolled his eyes. Yoongi couldn't see that, as he was being pulled by Hoseok. "So, you said Jiminie is sick. What happened?" Yoongi changed the topic, not knowing what to say to his friend's last comment.

"Just a common cold. Nothing serious. But he's in a really bad mood, because Seokjin hyung won't let him even get up from his bed unless it's for bathroom. And I moved out because we all know my immunity."

Yoongi hummed. They reached the room and saw that the door was open. Inside, well, inside was a completely different story. The boys could here two squeaky laughs; Jin's iconic windshield wiper laugh, and Jimin's almost baby like laugh. Both of them could just stand and stare, as Jimin almost died laughing, while the oldest of them all bounced around the room like a fairy with a weird expression, muttering gibberish.

"I think hyung's trying to cheer up Jiminie..." Hobi whispered in Yoongi's ear. "Seems like it." He whispered back. Neither of them knew how long they stood there, just watching their hyung being a weirdo, just to cheer up Jimin. Finally, Jimin saw them standing their with wide eyes and open mouths, staring at Jin, who was now re-enacting some of his scenes hilariously from their MVs.

"Yoongi hyung! Hobi hyung!" He said cheerfully. Well, it sounded more like, 'Yoogi hyug! Hobi hyug!' because of his cold, but that was understandable. "Hey!" Jin stopped doing impersonations and pulled them in.

That's when the youngest two of the group entered the room, with different accessories and comic books. "Oh." They stopped in their tracks when they saw everyone except Namjoon their. They were expecting that Jimin would be resting alone, but the entire squad was there. "Everyone's here!" Jungkook exclaimed after a second, shrugged, and handed the comic books to Jimin, receiving a cute eye smile in return.

Taehyung followed suit and handed Jimin a pouch of earrings, bracelets, and chokers. "Feel better, Jiminie."

Jimin gave him another smile, before sneezing. He kept one of his hands on his face, while he searched for a tissue with his other hand. He couldn't locate one though. Yoongi was sitting in the chair near the desk, where a new box of tissues sat. He took the thing, took out a tissue, which he handed Jimin, and kept the box on the bedside table.

"Uh...guys?" Namjoon peeked in that moment. "Ah! I've been searching for one of you since the past ten minutes. All of you are here." He entered. "How are you feeling Jiminie?" He sat down near Jimin. "A lot better, hyung. Jin hyung has been entertaining me for the past hour, then Yoongi hyung and Hobi hyung came, though they haven't been doing anything at all. Then Kookie gave me some comics, Tae gave me some accessories."

"Entertaining? How?" He looked at Jin. "Like this." Seokjin started prancing around the room while everyone burst out laughing. All except Yoongi. Hoseok and Taehyung joined him, the latter making his iconic derp face. "These people are so immature." Yoongi muttered to himself.

[hyuge]

Omegas asked: your stories are so beautifully written and I admire your writing a lot! it's so careful and neat and I want to say congrats for achieving to make it this perfect! I have one question, I was wondering if there will be a chapter 2 in call me beep me, no pressure on it of course, keep up the great work <3

Thank you. You're very sweet. I absolutely will have a chapter 2 of CMBM. I just have to finish up one fic for krbk week and a bang fic (both of which are almost done), and then finish the next chapter of Say Something (which is about half done), then I will be focusing my energy back into Call Me, Beep Me. I'm excited to get back to it. [Smile or comment on the answer here](https://retrospring.net/@Hyuge/a/112236606689861864)

[featherypromises]

Do as I say, not as I do.

Fanfic: RPF BTS for @sneezysecret,

Members in order of age:

Seokjin (Jin)

Yoongi (Suga)

Hoseok (JHope)

Namjoon (RM)

Jimin

Taehyung (V)

Jungkook

Mild mess warning. Snzfic. Cold. Jungkook and RM are working too hard.

Maknae = Youngest band member

Hyung = "older brother" form of address

(Suffix) -ah/-ie = "younger sibling" form of address

=================================

When Jungkook's voice only cracked twice during practice, Seokjin nearly cried with relief. Not that Taehyung and Jimin weren't great in their own right, (and Seokjin's singing was much better due to diligent effort on his part), but he felt much more secure in practice when one of their main singers and choreographers didn't have to stop every two minutes to blow his nose or stop singing in the middle of recording to sneeze, only to have the sneeze vanish before it actually happened.

Jungkook hadn't shown any other symptoms, besides a few dry, irritated little coughs, but the fact that the maknae was even a little out of it for a whole week made the rest of the group a bit nervous, especially Namjoon. The leader of BTS took the responsibility of caring for the other members very seriously. He had chased Jungkook to bed early each night after practice, scolded him to eat soup and take vitamins. Namjoon had even loaned the youngest his favorite white hoodie, when they had finished practicing their choreography last night, to keep Jungkook from getting chilled, until they could get back to the dorms and shower. Namjoon had even moved into Kookie's room temporarily to ensure that he would be able to help the youngest member if he got worse overnight.

Seokjin turned to Namjoon to see which song they would do next. To his surprise, he found their leader pinching the bridge of his nose, wearing a pained expression. It seemed the nights that he had spent watching over the maknae had not been restful ones.

Just then, Jungkook lost the battle with a wet-sounding sneeze, "Hhrrressshuh! guh...". The singer pitched forward covering his already masked face with his hand out of habit. He blinked in confusion and suddenly blushed. Seokjin noticed that the younger boy also didn't lower his hand. Instead he put two fingers under where his nose would be, pressing the mask against his nostrils.

Unfortunately, the harsh sneeze drew the attention of all the older boys. Blushing furiously, Jungkook stammered an apology and tried to excuse himself. Namjoon frowned, but seemed to notice, as Seokjin had, that a wet patch was forming on the mask beneath Jungkook's fingers.

The leader was across the room in a moment, and started to gently pull off the soiled mask. The maknae protested and tried to pull away, but Namjoon was firm and removed the mask and used the dry parts to carefully clean the remaining aftermath from the the younger boy's face.

The leader, having finished cleanup and reassuring Jungkook that he had nothing to be embarrassed about, called practice to an end and stressed to the others that they all try to take advantage of the shorter practice to get some extra rest.

"I mean it. We've been working hard, and I'm proud of you, but we don't need anyone else getting sick. Showers... Jungkookie, you first,... then bed."

On their way back to the dorms, Namjoon tripped over apparently nothing and was barely caught by a sleepy and unprepared Yoongi, who swore colorfully and shoved him into Hoseok. Taehyung and Jimin laughed until they were gasping for breath, calling for their Hyung to Beware of the God of Destruction.

Having regained his feet, Namjoon apologized to Yoongi quietly and rubbed his face with both hands tiredly. Seokjin picked up his pace and caught up to his younger leader.

"Namjoon? Are you okay?" The leader shook his head, not really an answer, but more like an abrupt shake to clear it. He smiled wanly,

"M'fine, Hyung."

"You don't seem fine. You spent a lot of time worrying about Kookie, and the rest of us, but please take care of yourself too." Seokjin blushed a bit, he wasn't much for speeches. He didn't like being bossy or pushy, despite being the oldest of the group, but there was something that seemed not quite right with Joon-ah today, and Seokjin would bet Taehyung his new pair of shoes that what was going on was more than the usual "God of Destruction" clumsiness and post-practice sleepiness.

Namjoon slowed to a stop, letting the other boys go past him and the older boy. He had a distant and somewhat exasperated look on his face and Seokjin thought for a moment that Namjoon would just tell him not to be such a mother-hen and to drop it. Instead he inhaled sharply and buried his face in his hands, stifling once, twice, and even a third time,

"Hhhxxnngt! Ih-ihhxxxtcht! HHXCHT! Ow...!"

Seokjin's eyes widened in alarm, but he composed himself and tried to joke about it,

"Who talks about you?"

Namjoon shuddered, wiping his hands on his pants, but made no answer.

Seokjin tried again,

"Seriously, that didn't sound "fine". Did you catch Jungkook's cold?"

Namjoon sniffled wetly, cleared his throat and winced at the obvious stab of pain in his throat.

"I'll be fide, Hyug. I just deed sleep."

The older boy rolled his eyes a bit at the blatant lie,

"Sure, then you'll give this "fine" health to the others or back to Kookie, and everyone will trip over their feet and Tae-Tae will blow apart the dorm sneezing."

This prediction startled a laugh from the younger man, which quickly dissolved into a few closed-mouthed coughs that rumbled as they fought to escape through the young leader's tightly clamped lips into his upraised fist.

The older man felt a knot form in his stomach. That really didn't sound good. He rubbed small circles into Namjoon's back with one hand and pressed the other hand lightly against the sick man's cheek. He felt much warmer than he should have been from such a short practice.

"Oh, Joon-ah..." Seokjin whispered, worry written in every feature of his face, "You have a fever. How could you have let it get this bad? Jungkook only has a tiny cold!"

Namjoon tried unsuccessfully to bat his Hyung's hand away,

"I-I said, I'll be... f... f-fide... ETSHAOHhhh!!!" Knowing he wouldn't be able to stifle this time, he spun on his heel away from Seokjin, promptly banging his head on the decorative lighting fixture on the wall, "Aiissshh! That hurt!" He hissed in pain.

The older boy turned him back around and gripped him around one shoulder, guiding him down the hall.

"You will be fine, but first, you are going to rest and have medicine and take a day to recover in bed." Namjoon made a face like he had just sucked on a lemon.

"But I'b the leader! I cad't slack off for a whole day, how would that look to the others?"

"Like you don't want to die by cracking your head like an egg when you sneeze." Muttered Seokjin darkly, " More like the "God of self-destruction"..."

The sick young man choked on another laugh as they moved slowly towards the dorms. When they informed the others that tomorrow would be an individual practice or rest day, the rest of BTS stared in shock before the younger members cheered loudly at the prospect of a rare day of freedom.

Namjoon was then towed to his room by Seokjin and was soon tucked into bed with an extra blanket, water, and some cold &flu medicine. The older boy put on a well-loved DVD of Friends and turned down the lights. Before long, congested soft snores were coming from the sick man next to him. Seokjin smiled fondly, and pulled the covers up a little higher over the sleeping Namjoon's form and smoothed his bed-rumpled hair gently.

"Sleep well."

================================

There is a severe shortage of sneezefics about this amazing and lovely bunch of guys. I hope this encourages other writers to write bts sickfics/snzfics. I tried to be as accurate as possible, but if you notice errors or have critiques please let me know. @sneezysecret I hope you liked it!

[heylinfanclub]

EQUESTRIAN THERAPY NOTES.

Today I got to work with Gary a brown blonde horse with the Chubbiest Cheeks who gives kisses and rocks his head in encouragement. Such a good bb.

Things talked/did:

— some grounding. petting the horse, combing its hair, coming back to that, trying not to get too distracted, come down from the hype of the drive.

— talk about my insecurity to be really ‘myself’ in any context including therapy because I’ve been insulted way too much for being loud/annoying/weird/disruptive/gross etc etc but they told me last time when I started galloping to encourage Shadow they thought I was having fun and it was nice. ;—; one day I can have fun and not feel like shit.

— talk about CONSEQUENces and trauma responses. My hyper vigilance and tendency to expect the worse and taking ‘calm’ as more of an ‘unsettled’ feel cause I expect it to end quiCK. Need to stay in the moment to address this perhaps? When moments are good.

— they had like 5 dogs this time last time they just had one. I ALSO GOT TO TOUCH A PIG. Such a sensation. It feels so right to be in a barn in nature. I feel like I belong there. So much quieter. So much more organized.

— made an obstacle course for the horse then based each obstacle i made after mental obstacles I have. Including: Being Frozen by ED; Organizing My Memories/Duties; ruminating; and hYGIENE. I have so many obstacles in my life if I’d known we were doin that the course woulda been HYUGE. hfjgk but the point was to show how many obstacles were between me and my goals, and that getting not just yourself but Gary through the obstacles AINT always easy. Worked on ways to handle upsets or pauses in progress. Back to grounding, or trying different things, or asking for help.

— had to learn to assert myself with the horse and also understand that ‘doing nothing is basically acceptance of their behavior’ which is something I knew but didn’t connect to horses and I should write that as a quote.

— next time I wanna tuch a chicken

I need to text her about whether I wanna do more therapy or less per week. Hrmrmmhmhm I want mORE but I always struggle to accept anything I desperately want as Valid.

[hyuge]

Omegas asked: If there is one thing you think you can improve in your writing, what would you want to improve?

Imagery. I struggle to adhere to the "show don't tell" and would like to be able to write scenes and descriptions in a more poetic way than, "he sat in the chair." [Smile or comment on the answer here](https://retrospring.net/@Hyuge/a/112159416169309530)

[hyuge]

Omegas asked: You look very smart, and you are good with words. Did you take up writing in college or did you take any courses to get to your skill level? I love your works.

IDK about /looking/ smart (are glasses wearers still stereotyped as smart?) but I appreciate it. I did PSEO my senior year of high school but never formally attended college after I graduated high school. I was part of my school's Speech team! I did Creative, so I wrote my own monologues. I've just always been writing in some capacity since I was a kid: poems, short stories, roleplays, fanfiction. [Smile or comment on the answer here](https://retrospring.net/@Hyuge/a/112065259786151589)