#i 100% (98%) know hes just joking. but let me be insane for a second | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

akinnie75 · 6 years

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The Promised Iris (2/2)

Pair: Jimin x Reader

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Slight Angst, Slow Burn, Fantasy, Soulmate AU

Word Count: 20k

Summary: During one rainy summer day at the park, a stranger name Jimin suddenly confesses that he’s in love with you. At first, you thought that Jimin was a stalker, but it turns out that there’s something he’s hiding from you. But...before you can discover the truth, he was already gone.

First Part: Here

Your journey doesn’t end here.

You crease your eyebrows, waiting for her to say some sort of unfunny joke. After realizing that she doesn’t have anything to say afterwards, you let go of her shirt, leaning back on your bench. You cover your red, swollen eyes with your forearm, your nose pointing up at the sky.

“You think I don’t know? Of course, I shouldn’t end my life.”

Even with Jimin dead, life still pushes forward. His death holds no significant weight on the world; it just affected the small sphere that he inhabited. Still, since Jimin lived a short life, you want to do him a favor and at least live for him when he couldn’t.

The elderly woman cocks her head to the side, staring at you curiously. “Did you love him?”

You move your arm from your eyes, wondering why she would even ask that. “I did.”

“Then, that’s all I need to hear.”

The elderly woman slaps her knee then stands up. For someone who looks like she’s eighty, she seems like she’s in fine health. She claps her hands together, grinning widely.

“Miss (Y/N), when I say that your journey doesn’t end here, I don’t mean that you have to continue pressing forward without Jimin.”

You sit up straight, leaning closer to the elderly woman.

“You question why I brought Jimin to you, despite being fully aware that he was going to die in three months, correct? Before I can answer you, let me give you some background information.

I am neither human or animal. I don’t even exist in your universe, but I can interact with it. You can see, hear, feel, and even smell me, but no one else can because I chose only you to see me. Same with Jimin.”

Once again, this reminds you of the time when Jimin spoke about things that can only happen in fantasy stories. However, you aren’t as skeptical as you were with him. It might be because you went through so much that you’ve become immune to it all.

“I guess I can be considered as an…‘unseen’ matchmaker.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I exist solely to bring two humans who have at least a 98% match rate. It’s a tedious task, having to go through billions of humans as a potential client, then once again going back to the same billions of people, praying that you’ll find their match within the first hundred thousand,” she sighs. “Sorry, I had to get that off my chest. I wish there was an easier way to match people, but I’m not the one who created the system.”

You shake your head at the thought of that. Billions of people? That sounds outrageous.

“Wait...how does that work? How do you choose people?”

“In a short summary, finding the first partner is easy. Finding the other is...Let’s just say it’s a long, strenuous process. Sometimes, the process takes so long that these humans die before they got the chance to meet their partners.”

“But then, if you’re going through billions of people just for one person, isn’t there more than one who’s a 98% match for that person?”

“Good question! You see, that’s where the other 2% comes in. Calculations are great and all, but there’s always room for error. And that 2% is where the couple starts to fall apart. It may seem small, but that’s where the chances of failing are the largest.”

When you hear about that, you immediately thought about Jimin’s death. “Oh my god...then you mean…”

She snickers. “To bring it up to a 100% match, we, the overseers, put the pair on a…‘test’ I guess you can call it. And we watch through the talisman.”

She points at the talisman Jimin gave you. You raise it up, now understanding why it was important that Jimin didn’t lose it.

“And after watching Jimin, I concluded that he passed his test.”

You dart your attention back to her, eyes widen. But then you turn away, squeezing the talisman in frustration.

“But...he’s dead. He was killed.”

She shakes her head. “That was his test. It was to make you fall in love with him within three months, then pass the talisman to you before he died.”

The woman shrugs her shoulders nonchalantly as if she’s had this heavy conversation so often that it’s nothing to her.

“Simple, really. But here’s the twist: can you really go through with your promise knowing that it’ll bring you to your death? No mortal wants to see or even think about how they’ll die.”

You open your mouth to retaliate, but then you close it. Just the thought that there will come a day when you’ll close your eyes forever makes you want to avoid thinking about it.

What went through Jimin’s mind during those three months? How was he even able to keep his composure? Every time he sees you, it would’ve reminded him that he’s going to die—to have that smile plastered on his face, despite behind it all, he knew of his demise.

“And now, it’s your turn,” She points her long, slender finger at your face. “But, I’ll give you the option to opt out before I give you the details. So...what do you say?”

You don’t know what she has in store for you. For all you know, she might be lying because she thinks it’s humorous seeing someone who just lost a loved one, then mocking them. Or she could be an insane woman who just so happened to have known Jimin. All of these doubts float around your head, telling you to decline this.

But...she’s giving you something that no one else gave you after Jimin’s death: hope. You were always pessimistic and thought that hope was a fabrication created to brush away problems, but you never really knew the true weight behind the meaning of ‘hope’ until this supposed matchmaker gave it to you—her hand sprawled out, waiting for you to make a decision.

“...I’ll do it.”

She smiles. “Good.”

Your heart is thumping to hear what she has for you, clutching the talisman with both hands in anticipation.

“Rescue Jimin.”

“What…?” You look a little lost for words.

“Prevent his death. That’s it.”

“But how…?”

“Since I am your and Jimin’s matchmaker, I currently hold your lives in my hands. I can alter time and space in your worlds, though it is very limited.”

The woman pauses to bring her face close to yours until your vision is completely covered with her face.

“I can bring you back to when you first met Jimin.”

Your jaw drops, unable to believe what she had just said. You feel like you can cry with relief, glad that you have been given a second chance.

“But, here’s your catch: In order to prevent him from falling into the same path again, you mustn’t let him know of what happened in this world. You can’t tell him anything about it. That includes my first meeting with Jimin. I will let him walk off, never ever learning of your existence.”

You gulp, as that must sound more difficult than how she explains. “So that means…”

“Going back would mean that Jimin would not know who you are. All those feelings, memories, everything he had of you will be wiped out.”

You start to feel the weight of the task; Jimin’s life is in your hands. One wrong move can lead to his death again. You thought about the splatter of blood on the stairs, white tape that shapes his dead body...that lingering last words he told you before he went off to his fate. You start to doubt yourself once again, telling yourself that you’re not cut out to save him. But you know that chickening out won’t bring him back to life, so this path is better than leaving him dead permanently.

“I don’t care if he forgets about me. After all, he still approached me even when I knew nothing about him.”

“I like your confidence. So. All I need you to do now is close your eyes, maybe sleep for a little, then you’ll return to the day you met Jimin.”

“Wait! But...how do I know if what I do is right?”

She hums to herself, thinking about your question for a moment before answering. “I’m pretty sure Jimin laid out a handful of hints before he died. Just think about everything you two said and have done.”

Just think about everything he’s done?

“Before I do this, can I ask you one last thing?”

“What is it?”

“Why are you doing this? Helping people meet with their significant others, I mean.”

“...Let’s just say that I don’t like it when the world is hateful all the time,” she smiles. “Well then, goodnight, (Y/N).”

------

Jimin and his friend, Hoseok, are together in the backyard of the adoption center. Jimin, in a dirty, white tank top, is holding a long branch. He’s performing a song he made up in his head, using the branch so he can do air guitar. Hoseok is sitting across from him on the dusty ground, amazed by his performance.

Once Jimin is done, Hoseok applauds him. “Wow! That was so cool! Do it again!”

Jimin breaks the branch in half, trying to imitate those heavy metal guitarists who break their instruments whenever they get too into their music. He puts his hands to his hips, smiling widely and revealing his missing teeth.

“Nope! It costs money to see an encore.” Jimin grins proudly, despite mispronouncing the word ‘encore’ as ‘acorn’.

“Aw…” Hoseok slumps his shoulders dejectedly.

Hoseok purses his lower-lip up, almost as if he’s about to cry. Feeling bad, Jimin searches for another branch. He finds one, but it’s smaller than the first one.

“Alright, I’ll give it to you for free, since today’s your last day.”

Hoseok’s face brightens, clapping his hands.

Jimin sits crisscrossed, across from Hoseok, holding the branch in playing position, pondering on what song to play. Once a song hits him, he pretends to play a guitar, humming the tune that goes through his mind. Hoseok sits silently, not letting a single word pass through his mouth. While the other children are playing in the background, Hoseok and Jimin are in their own worlds.

Jimin’s encore ends quickly, however, as he doesn’t remember the rest of it. “Happy?”

Hoseok nods.

“Hoseok! They’re waiting for you.” A woman yells from the back door.

Hoseok turns around, then back to Jimin. Hoseok has a look on his face that he doesn’t want to go yet. To cheer him up, Jimin grins, smacking him on the back.

“Don’t make your new parents wait!”

“...I wish we were going together.”

“Hey, don’t worry. One day, I’ll find a home, too. And then, we’ll both be happy.”

Jimin manages to make Hoseok smile. “Okay! Make sure you find a home before you grow up!!”

The two stand up, and Hoseok hugs Jimin one last time.

“Mrs. Lee always said that good kids will always find a home, right? Since you’re a good person, you’ll find a home in no time!”

And with that, Hoseok lets him go, waving goodbye forever before running off to his newly adopted parents. Jimin waves goodbye in return, waiting for Hoseok to close the front door behind him. Once he’s out of sight, Jimin curls up into a ball and begins to cry. Yet another friend has left, and he’s left behind.

At this rate, Jimin is worried that he’ll never be adopted. He’s the last of the older kids to not be adopted, and he overheard Mrs. Lee that older children tend to not get adopted. Hoseok said that Jimin will find a home eventually since he’s a good person, but he never did.

------

Jimin wasn’t expecting this town to have humid rain, so because of that, he’s worried that the bipolar weather is going to affect his guitar strings. Once he finds shelter, he’s going to have to check on his guitar.

He runs through the rainy weather, finding a large tree that’ll cover him until the rain stops. Once he gets under it, he shakes his head like a dog shaking the water off of its body. He sets his guitar case down, extending his long sleeve so he can wipe down the case, otherwise, the water will leak through.

While doing so, he can hear the sound of someone sniffling. When he looks up, he’s surprised to see that you’re sitting on the bench. Jimin was so focused on finding shelter that he didn’t notice you there.

When he glances over his shoulder, he can see that your head is lowered, staring at the palm of your hands as it trembles slightly. At first, Jimin thought that you’re shivering, but it’s too humid to be cold. That’s when he notices tears landing on your palms.

Suddenly, you raise your head up, making eye contact with Jimin. Jimin is surprised, somewhat embarrassed that you caught him staring at you. He looks around, trying to think of an excuse as to why he was staring at you.

“S-sorry! I didn’t mean to uh...interrupt.”

You stand up unexpectedly. Jimin is waiting for you to pop off on him, but instead, you stare at him with wide eyes. He is about to ask if you’re alright when you suddenly pinch yourself on the forearm. You flinch, and Jimin is starting to wonder if he has encountered an insane woman.

“This is real…” You mutter to yourself.

Jimin is unsure what you mean by that. You begin to cry even more, and Jimin jolts, wondering if he did anything to make you burst into tears again. Did you just break up with your boyfriend? Is that why you’re crying so much? He doesn’t know, but he knows that it’s not right to leave a girl crying all by herself.

He looks through his pockets to look for anything that’ll help you wipe your tears away. However, he has nothing but receipts and coins in his pocket. He knows that in his guitar, there’s nothing but his wallet and a guitar pick. He can’t even comfort you properly.

Jimin sighs, wondering what he’s supposed to do now, but you could tell that he was trying to think of something to cheer you up. You can’t help but smile, chuckling to yourself.

“You don’t have to do anything, but I appreciate the thought.”

Jimin looks relieved that you said that. He doesn’t talk to people normally, nevertheless cheer someone up. But it is surprising that you already knew what he was trying to do even though he didn’t say anything.

“I’m sorry if I was disturbing you. I’ll be leaving now.” You walk off into the rain, using your forearm to protect yourself.

As you move farther away from him, Jimin notices something pink on the bench catching his eyes. It’s an umbrella, presumably yours. He takes the umbrella and is about to call after you, but then he hesitates at first. He doesn’t even know your name. Besides, by the time he calls after you, you wouldn’t be able to hear him under the heavy pounding of a million droplets.

------

Every day, Jimin would sit at the bench where he saw you, hoping that he would run into you again. He thought that you would notice that your umbrella went missing, so you would go back to the park and look for it. However, you haven’t been there since that day, so he never got the opportunity to return it to you.

It’s already been a few days, and there has been no sign of you. Jimin is beginning to think that you’ll never come back for your umbrella. While sitting on the bench, Jimin decides to leave the umbrella there, hoping that maybe one day you’ll return to retrieve it. He’s aware of how irresponsible it is to leave it there, but he doesn’t have all the time to wait for you. If you don’t get it, he hopes that the umbrella will have a new home when someone finds it.

Because of that, Jimin never got the opportunity to explore the town. He’s been searching for a good spot to do a street performance, but he has yet to become familiar with the area. Since it’s late into the night, the town is surrounded with Christmas lights, despite it not being the holidays yet, busy streets filled with honking cars and people passing by the streets in a hurried manner.

This scene is all too familiar with Jimin. Despite having experienced many towns, they’re all generally the same. There has not been a single town that has sparked his interest to even settle down for longer than a week. He manages to find the center of the town, a small, square plaza. It’s the most crowded place out of the entire town, so of course, this attracts him as well.

Jimin makes his way through narrow gaps in between people, his head raised to peer over the heads. The plaza is surrounded by restaurants, souvenir shops, and even a pet store. It’s no wonder that so many people gather here; it’s got nearly every store imaginable.

But in the dead center of the plaza stands a fountain—three angels holding a vase and pouring water into the base of the cement sculpture. And sitting right at the edge is a familiar face. It’s you, sitting with your bag close to your chest, leaning forward and eyeing the area as if searching for someone. He never expected to meet you again, a mysterious girl who cried for reasons unknown to him.

You turn your head to him, then jumping to your feet when you two make eye contact. Jimin flinches, not expecting you to react in that way. You march right to his direction, and Jimin almost expected you to walk past him like you recognize someone from behind. But you didn’t. You stand in front of him, your eyes not leaving him. You look relieved to see him.

You want to say something, but nothing comes out of your mouth. You look like you’re contemplating, mumbling to yourself aloud, though Jimin can’t make sense of what you’re saying since this space is too loud.

“You’re the girl from the park, right?” He asks just to make sure he isn’t mistaking you for someone else.

You let a bit of your voice out, but you stop yourself immediately. Rather than speak, you simply nod your head.

“Are you waiting for a friend?”

You shake your head.

Jimin wants to bring up what happened at the park, but he feels as though it’s prying if he asks. You were, after all, sobbing like a baby. You even look like you want to cry right now.

“Well, it’s nice seeing you again. I wasn’t expecting to meet you here,” After saying that, Jimin remembers about your umbrella that he left at the park. “Crap! Your umbrella!!”

------

By the time you two returned to the bench at the park, your umbrella is nowhere to be seen. Jimin feels immensely at fault for that; had he not left it there, you would still have your umbrella.

“Oh my god...I’m so sorry.”

Jimin even wished for a strange to possibly take it home. He drops to the bench, spreading his body on the bench as he groans. He can’t believe that someone actually took your umbrella.

“I shouldn’t have left it here...Oh god, what do we do now?” He mumbles while dropping his entire weight on the bench.

Instead of getting upset, you start laughing. He’s perplexed by your response. Any normal human being would be upset, especially since it’s currently the rainy season. He thought that you were going to demand him to buy you another one, or at least say that it’s alright with a passive-aggressive tone.

“It’s fine. It’s not like I’m not going to survive without it,” Your laughter fades away slowly. “More like...it’s nice seeing you again.”

...You’re a very strange person. This is your second time meeting him, and yet you say that. But, Jimin doesn’t hate it exactly.

Jimin sits up properly, letting you sit next to him.

“Do you not play at the plaza?” You ask him.

“Eh, no. Actually, tonight was my first night there, but it does look like a great place to play though,” But then, Jimin realizes how this conversation took an unusual turn. “Wait, how did you know that I do street performances?”

You look just as surprised as him. You cover your mouth with an expression that you did something wrong.

“Uhm...intuition...I guess?” Your face is becoming flushed. “Anyway, you should play there. It’s got a lot of people.”

You sound confident, speaking to him with such familiarity. Is talking to him some form of distraction for you, concerning the reason for your crying the other day? If guessing that he’s a freelance musician is based on your intuition, then you must be some psychic.

Still, Jimin plays along with you. “I’ll consider it.”

“You should! People will love to hear from you!”

“Ah ha ha, I’m not so sure if they’ll even want to listen to me.”

You raise your knees up, hugging them with your arms and resting your head on it. “I want to hear you.”

You smile sweetly, and for some reason, that tugs on Jimin’s chest. “By the way, I never got your name-”

“Damn, that’s right!” You exclaim suddenly. “My name is (Y/N), and I’m currently a sophomore at X University. I’m studying psychology, though I don’t have a concentration yet. I spend all my time studying, so I don’t have any hobbies that I’m very interested in. So most of the time, I hang out at my school’s library working on assignments. I don’t really like the humid weather much, especially this weather. I especially hate it when it rains on a hot day! What about you?”

Jimin is taken aback by your friendliness. He’s never met someone so open about themselves on the second meeting.

“Oh yea, and I really, really like Busker Busker.”

And at that moment, Jimin feels a connection with you. “Wow, seriously?! I’ve never met anyone else who likes them. Usually, people only talk about pop music.”

“Well, I wasn’t into music at first, but I got into them because…” You trail off. “It reminds me of a friend.”

The mood of your voice changes dramatically, but your smile returns.

“I like them because...I dunno. I guess in a way, I can sympathize with their music if that makes sense.”

You let out a single chuckle. “Yea...It’s getting kind of late, I should be heading back.”

You get up from the bench, checking the time on your phone to reveal it to be 10 P.M. Jimin doesn’t bother keeping a watch or a phone, so he doesn’t know the time or date most of the time. He just knows what month he’s in and approximately the time.

Jimin thinks about escorting you back home since it’s late, but he’s concerned that you might think it’s suspicious that a stranger is asking to take you to your house. So Jimin decides not to ask you.

“Hey.” You say.

“Hm?”

“You have to play at the plaza. Promise me.”

Jimin is a bit surprised that you would say that so forwardly.

“I will,” Jimin is about to walk off when he remembers something. “By the way, my name is Jimin.”

You smile from ear to ear, looking genuinely overjoyed to hear that. “It’s nice to meet you, Jimin.”

------

The moment you spotted Jimin in the big crowd, you made sure that Jimin and everyone else noticed you. At the town plaza, you’re sitting by the fountain again, flailing your arms everywhere and shouting for Jimin to come. The people around Jimin are staring at you, a few of them asking why you’re being so obnoxious. This makes Jimin feel embarrassed, making him scrunch his shoulders.

You were serious when you wanted him to play here, even going as far as reserving the spot at the fountain just for him. Because of the unwanted attention you’re creating, Jimin is even considering beelining to the opposite direction. However, it’s already too late since you already saw him. Jimin approaches you, keeping his head low so that no one would recognize his face.

“Jimin, I saved you a spot.” You say excitedly.

Why do you look so happy to see him? Anyway, you scoot over to give him some space. Jimin didn’t notice earlier than you had a grocery bag next to you. You take out a soda can and give it to him.

“I figured you might want something to drink.”

Though he doesn’t want to take it, you did take the time to buy it for him, so he can’t decline. “Thanks.”

He was expecting you to leave afterward, but you just sit there. Jimin takes out his guitar, tuning his strings before playing. All the while, you stare intensely at him, your eyes not once leaving him.

“Uhm...can you not stare at me? It’s making me uncomfortable.”

His request seemed to have hurt your feelings a little bit. You realize what you’re doing, so you move away, giving him some space.

“Oh, sorry.”

Once Jimin finishes tuning, he strums all six strings before playing. He counts the tempo in his head, then begins playing Love is Timing by Busker Busker.

In a perfect situation, at the end of our fate

Each person’s scar goes into each’s fate

It’s made into a memory, the quiet scars

To each fate’s, to each fate

During the first few verses, there weren’t that many people who were listening to Jimin. It didn’t matter because that’s how it usually is during the first few songs. The only person who listens is you. Every time he saw you, you had that goofy smile on your face, but this time, you look serious.

When I think about it, I guess we were probably not meant to be

If only I was there when I should have been there

When it comes to destiny and fate, I guess timing is important

If only I was there when I should have been there

Back then

Eventually, Jimin was able to pick up a few listeners, at most five to six people. Some of them toss money into his guitar case, while others choose to listen only. This is normal to Jimin, as the quantity doesn’t matter to him. All that matters is that he can perform as much as he can.

When the song finishes, Jimin receives a small amount of applause. Like earlier, Jimin was expecting you to be staring at him again, but you’re not. Your attention is focused on someone else. Among the small crowd, there’s a man wearing black, thick-framed glasses, gray flannel, green flannel, gray scarf, and has a goatee. If Jimin had one word to describe that man, it would be ‘hipster’. You’re not letting your gaze leave that man. He wonders if you have any relations to him. Regardless, it’s none of his business, and he decides to continue to play more songs.

------

Jimin’s street concert comes to an end, two hours passing by. It’s already 8 P.M., but the plaza is still as busy as ever. This whole time, you stayed by his side, listening to every second of his performance. You seemed to have enjoyed it, though you weren’t applauding like how everyone else did.

You finally stand up from your spot, stretching your arms and twisting your body to loosen your tense muscles. “I’m going to use the restroom. Can you wait here for me?”

“O-okay…”

You search for a nearby public restroom. Jimin doesn’t know why he has to wait for you, but now that you asked him to, he can’t bring himself to ditch you. When he looks down, it seems like you forgot to bring your phone. He can’t help but heave out a laugh, wondering if you’re that forgetful with your things.

Jimin returns his guitar in his case, and while doing so, he feels someone tapping him on the shoulder.

He turns around to see the hipster guy from before. “Hi there.”

“Hello.”

“I was watching your performance earlier, and it was amazing! The name’s Miles, and I’m an international student from the United States studying at X University.”

‘X University’...it sounds familiar.

“I’m in charge of the Garage Band Club.”

“The...Garage Band Club?”

“Back in the day, American teens used to perform in front of their homes with their garages open, performing classic rock songs from the 70s and 80s. It’s died down now, but there’s still a few who do it.”

Jimin has never heard of a practice such as that. He’s never seen one in person, but it must’ve been fun.

“I was wondering if you wanted to join my band temporarily.”

Jimin’s eyes widen. He has been offered solo gigs before just to perform for one night in restaurants but never asked to join a band. Jimin doesn’t know how it’s like to play in a band because he’s always performed alone.

He averts his eyes from Miles. “I dunno...I don’t attend your school, and I’m not really familiar with American music.”

“That’s fine! We have a drummer who goes to a different school, but she comes to band rehearsals. And besides, we still band some legendary Korean bands like Crash and Sanulrim.”

Jimin usually doesn’t turn down gigs, but this is definitely one where he doesn’t want to participate in. He’s not very good when it comes to people, so he wouldn’t know if he would be able to cooperate with them.

“They’re not really in my field.”

“It’s just temporary. Our acoustic guitarist broke his arm, and we really need one, and you fit it perfectly. Besides, the bands get a small portion of the money from ticket sells regardless if we’re good or not. After that, we won’t bother you anymore.”

The whole ‘money’ spiel sounds more convincing. After all, Jimin is a traveling musician, and getting money with every chance he gets, he’ll take it.

“How much time do we have until the concert date?”

“October 13th. We still have a good two-to-three months to get to know each other.”

It’s a coincidence that it just so happens to land on his birthday as well, but it isn’t like he’s going to do anything important. His birthday is like any other day, so it doesn’t hurt to accept this offer. He’ll just have to deal with Miles and his band.

“JIMIN!”

Out of the blue, Jimin and Miles hear you shout from the top of your lungs. You were loud enough that other people were frightened by your booming voice. Jimin thought that you went to the restroom, so why are you here?

You march right for them with a worried expression on your face. You pick up your phone that you forgot by accident.

You flash a plastic smile at Miles. “Hey there! Sorry for being rude, but I forgot my phone while using the bathroom,” You press the home button to check the time, then you gasp in an exaggerated tone. “It’s getting kinda late, so Jimin and I have to get going now. Bye.”

You grab Jimin by the wrist, dragging him away from Miles. Jimin tells you to wait, but you ignore him. Miles is left alone, confused with who you are.

------

In a quiet neighborhood just on the other side of the plaza, you and Jimin speed through the streets. Jimin has been telling you to let go of his wrist politely, but you seem so focused on your own thoughts that you don’t hear him.

Finally, at the brink of his patience, Jimin pulls his hand away from you. You look at him with a surprised expression, as if questioning why he would do that. Don’t look at me like I’m at fault, Jimin thinks. It’s rude to think like that, but it’s true.

“Why did you pull me away like that?? I was still talking to him.”

Jimin has been trying to be polite because you’re pushing yourself into his life too much, and he never asked for that.

“I’m...sorry.”

You look clearly hurt by his words. Though Jimin thought that this isn’t his fault, he does feel guilty that he might’ve led you on into thinking that you two have become friends. But, what exactly does Jimin have that makes you latch onto him so quickly?

“Sorry I...I didn’t mean to sound so harsh…”

You raise your head up, giving him a pained smile. “It’s understandable.”

Jimin doesn’t know what else to say. You look like you took his words to heart. How do you console someone after hurting their feelings?

“Do I creep you out?” You ask suddenly.

Jimin is hesitant to give you an answer. Forget having to console you, how can Jimin tell you that you really do creep him out without having to hurt your feelings?

“Eh...uhm...Look, I think you’re a nice girl, and everything, but...I think you’re just a bit too...overwhelming?”

You gasp under your breath. Jimin didn’t mean to have his words roll out like that, but it’s just that you gave him such a difficult question to answer. How else was he supposed to answer?

“Sorry…”

“No, it’s okay. I did ask...I know I’m weird and all to you, and everything I’m probably doing now doesn’t make any sense, but can I ask you to do one thing?”

“What is it?”

“Don’t accept Miles’s offer.”

Jimin is shocked that you would ask for such a thing. “Why? Do you know him?”

“No, not really.” You look away. With that guilty look on your face, there’s no way that you’re not hiding something from him.

“Is he a bad person?”

“It’s not that! It’s just…maybe it’s not a good idea that you accept his offer. Wouldn’t it be complicated having to go to rehearsals all the time?”

That’s true, but still, it’s not your decision to make. They may sound like reasonable excuses for you, but you have no right to dictate his life.

“That’s not a big deal. Commuting to rehearsals won’t be an issue.”

“Don’t you have performances to do here? Wouldn’t that take time out of that?”

“I know, but it doesn’t hurt trying it out.”

“But-”

“Look,” Jimin interrupts you abruptly. “I know that you’re probably trying to look out for me, but it’s my choice whether I want to do this or not. And unless you have a good reason, otherwise, I’m going to join them.”

You look as if you want to continue pushing out that you don’t want him to join, but Jimin is being stubborn. You crease your eyebrows with a frustrated expression.

“I can’t...Can you just not join?” Your voice cracks a little. “It’s not like you really need to join them. You’re fine on your own, and you always have been, right?”

Jimin doesn’t like how you talk so casually with him, but for some reason, your last statement of him being fine that he’s alone pushed it. He doesn’t know why, but it just ticked him off for some reason. Maybe it’s because it reminded him of how no one has ever wanted him in his entire life, and it’s almost as if you’re rubbing it in his face.

“It’s easy for you to say that because you had a good life with people who cared about you. Sorry I didn’t live a comfortable life like you.” Jimin states bluntly.

You’re left speechless, lowering your head to hide your face from him. Jimin had just said that because of the mood. He wanted the conversation to end quickly.

You finally look up, your face slowly turning red from anger. “You don’t know that! You don’t know anything about me at all, so how can you say that about me?!”

“Well, compared to mine, your life was definitely a lot better!” Jimin has no idea why he’s starting an argument with someone who’s practically a stranger, but there’s just blood boiling inside him. “The same can be said about you. You talk to me like you know me.”

You bite your bottom lip, blocking any words from slipping out. You seem to be so infuriated that you start to shed tears, and your face is still as red as a tomato.

“...You don’t understand anything at all, and it’s even more frustrating that I can’t say anything. You’re nothing like him.”

“Wait, what? What do you mean?”

“I must be annoying you, right? Then...I’ll be leaving.”

You walk the opposite direction, striding off. Jimin wants to stop you and ask you what you meant by the last phrase. Did you just compare him to somebody else? But to who? Jimin also couldn’t grasp what you meant when you said that he wouldn’t understand.

But that’s now the last of his worries. After thinking rationally again, Jimin just remembered that you were crying not too long ago, so you must still be hurting, probably even more since Jimin made it worse. There’s also the fact that he owes you a new umbrella. As much as a pest you are, you’re still nice. You didn’t get upset when he lost your umbrella, and you even bought him a drink and saved him a spot at the plaza. He was too busy trying to protect himself from you that he didn’t stop to think about you.

Jimin groans as he scratches the back of his head. This is exactly why he doesn’t like to make any sort of relationship with anyone; he’s the last person to know how to talk to someone properly.

------

“Jimin!” You exclaim.

To his surprise, you’re at the plaza again, giving him that goofy smile of yours and flailing your arms like it’s nobody’s business. It hasn’t even been more than a day and it’s as if Jimin never got you upset.

You pat the spot next to you, jumping up and down from your spot like an impatient dog waiting to receive their treat. Jimin approaches you, waiting for you to say something concerning about what happened the night prior, but you don’t bring it up. Instead, you show him a grocery bag that you bought.

“I don’t know if you ate dinner already, so I bought some pre-packaged food. Don’t worry about it being cold. I microwaved it at the store. I was about to buy you soda again, but I searched up that soda isn’t good for a vocalist, so I changed my mind and bought water. And then! I couldn’t help myself, so I bought these cute coffee bread that has pandas printed on them. Cute right?”

You show him the bread that you impulsively bought. They’re definitely cute, but they’re not Jimin’s main focus. You’re behaving as if last night never happened. While you run your hand inside the grocery bag, Jimin squints at you, preparing to hear you explode, only to be met with nothing.

You finally catch on with why Jimin has been quiet all this time, so you give him a reassuring smile. “I’m not mad about last night anymore.”

“You’re not?”

You shake your head. “I said some sensitive things, and I probably sounded controlling. Besides, life’s too short to be angry at someone for too long.”

Jimin doesn’t know if you’re saying that just to hide how angry you still are, or if you really did forgive him.

“I said some pretty harsh things too, so I’m sorry.”

He remembers how you were upset after he said that you lived a comfortable life. Sure, you probably had a roof to stay under and people who care about you, but there are problems that you go through that he’ll probably never face in his life. Plus, he can’t forget how much you were crying that day. He can never get that image out of his head.

You raise your water bottle, imitating a cheer. “You have been forgiven.”

------

Jimin was supposed to start playing like normal, but he’s been too caught up with talking to you that he forgot. He learns that you’re not originally from this town. In fact, you’re from the other side of the country, but you chose this city because the university is well-known for its psychology department. You’re an only child, though you keep joking around that you probably have half-siblings somewhere out there that you’re unaware of. You also mention how your parents just recently divorced, saying that it was expected, but took too long for them to realize that your parents aren’t just meant to be.

“I think my parents stayed together for my sake though. They waited until I turned eighteen so that they don’t have to go through the struggle of custody battles.” You take a sip of your water bottle.

You were talking so much that your throat was becoming dry, so you were drinking a lot of water. Because of that, your water bottle is almost empty. Jimin rarely spoke, just listening to your life story.

“I’m sorry your parents divorced.”

“Hmm, it’s fine. Everyone falls out of love eventually…” You chug the last of your water, crushing it afterward. “Do you know what the secret is behind falling in love?”

“What is it?”

“Dopamine.”

“Dopa...what?”

“I learned it in my first ever psych class. When you see someone that fancies you, your dopamine is released and thus enhances your testosterone. It fluctuates your emotional level, making it feel as if you’re in complete euphoria during the early stages of falling in love. The increase in testosterone also affects a person’s aggressiveness, pushing them to target the person of their interest and pursue them.”

Everything you said just now sounds so foreign to Jimin. Dopamine? Testosterone? He’s not surprised that you talk like a scientist. You are studying in psychology.

“But did you know that it takes like an average of 4-6 years for those reactions to fade away? Funny enough, divorce rates are roughly after that time period,” You stop talking briefly. “It took eighteen and a half years for my parents to finally consider divorce...but it only took five years for their marriage to fall apart. Says a lot, doesn’t it?”

You toss the crushed water bottle into a nearby recycling bin, and it successfully lands inside. Jimin can’t believe that you can so casually about your parents’ divorce. Sure, Jimin never had a solid parental role model, but from what he heard from other people, they make it a big deal about their parents separating. But you bring it up like it’s nothing.

“And how do you feel about it all?”

You look at him with a smile on your face. “If I didn’t know you, I’d say that I’m fine with it because it’s my parents’ choice, but in all honesty, I hate them for that. They wasted less than two decades hopelessly clinging onto something that never existed. With my parents’ past, I’m scared that I’ll end up being like them.”

Even though you’re smiling right now, he can see the corner of your lips quivering. You’re trying to put up a strong front when in reality, your parents' divorce took a toll on you more than you make it seem.

“You say that people fall out of love between 4-6 years right?”

“Yea.”

“What about those people who made it through that period? There is a handful who remain loyal to each other until the end too.”

“Well...you’re right…”

“So then that means you still have a chance of not becoming like them. Besides, from the way you describe your parents, they sound really cold, but you’re too nice. I can guarantee that you’re nothing like them, and you never will be.”

Just then, Jimin had this sense of deja vu run through him. This is the first time he’s talked to someone about this topic, but it feels like a second time.

Meanwhile, you look completely shocked, his words catching you off guard. Without warning, tears start rolling down your cheeks. This scares Jimin, making him panic and wonder if he said something to offend you again.

“I-I’m sorry!” Jimin exclaims.

“It’s okay, you didn’t say anything wrong. I’m just happy, that’s all,” You take out a napkin from the grocery bag, wiping your tears away then blowing snot on it. “I’m sorry, I swear I actually don’t cry this much. I guess I’m just so used to bottling up my feelings that I don’t even know how to control my own emotions when I finally get the chance to vent.”

Jimin’s relieved that you’re not crying because you’re upset, but he doesn’t know why he’s relieved. It isn’t like he knows you all that well.

“Don’t apologize about something everyone does. You’re just expressing that you’re human.”

You clean your nose with a napkin due to the excessive snot that came out more than expected. When you pull the napkin away, your nose is red from the pressure that was applied on it. But your Rudolph nose doesn’t take away how captivating your smile is.

You giggle like a child. “You’re right! Thanks for listening to me, Jimin.”

There’s that tugging feeling in his chest again. He can’t believe that just last night, he yelled at you. Now, Jimin feels horrible for doing that. You go through so much, yet you hide it. Jimin doesn’t know you that well, but he hopes that in the future, you can rely on him, and maybe he’ll gather the courage to talk about his life. For now, all he wants is for you to never cry painfully ever again.

------

Every night, you always wait at the fountain near the plaza for Jimin. You always have food and drinks prepared for him, but lately, you’ve been cooking. Maybe because it’s been a while since Jimin had home cooked meals, but he thinks your cooking is delicious. He sees you every day to the point where he starts to get excited just thinking about seeing you.

And after eating together, Jimin would play his guitar with you watching next to him. Even though people stop every so often to listen to him, you’re always the one watching him from beginning to end. He’s never has someone sit through the whole concert, and although it made Jimin self-conscious about his playing, he grew to become used to you. In fact, he’s slowly starting to like having you watch him.

The tense air he has when he was with her has finally dissipated, and you two have begun casually talking to each other. It’s already been a month since Jimin came to this town, and though it’s usually about the time Jimin should be leaving, he just can’t bring himself to bring it up and tell you. He knows it’s bad to drag out his relations with you, but he doesn’t want to leave just yet.

Today, however, is different. You’re not here like how you usually are. Jimin looks around the fountain but doesn’t see you anywhere. He tries to look over the heads of the many people occupying the town’s plaza, but you’re nowhere to be seen. He quickly brushes this off though, assuming that you’re either running late or had to use the restroom.

He sets his guitar case down, taking out his tan instrument. While doing so, he thinks about all the times you’ve brought food for him. You must have a lot of money in your wallet to be able to afford to buy convenience food every night. Although, that might be the reason why you switched to cooking for some nights. There’s no way a typical college student can afford to buy food every single night. Jimin really likes that time the most though, getting to sit down and eat dinner with someone. He can’t remember the last time he ate and talked to someone at the same time.

But as happy as he is to spend every night with you, Jimin can’t stand letting you be the one paying for his nightly meals. Unfortunately, Jimin doesn’t have enough money to repay for all the food that you owe him, but you kept brushing it off, telling him that he doesn’t owe you; you’re doing this on your own volition. Still, Jimin wants to repay you—not only for the food, but for the stolen umbrella as well. Jimin sighs by just thinking about how much he owes you.

While tuning his guitar, Jimin sees a shadow hovering in front of him, getting bigger as it moves closer. He looks up to see a familiar face; it’s Miles. He waves diligently, holding a coffee cup. Jimin had forgotten about him since that night.

“Hi Jimin, do you remember me?”

Jimin nods. “Miles, right?”

“I’m glad you remember! Mind if I sit down next to you?”

“Go ahead.”

Jimin scoots to give him space, and Miles sits down next to him. “It’s been humid lately, hasn’t it?”

“Yea, it has.”

“Honestly, I don’t know why I registered for summer classes too. My crazy head wants to graduate early, so I tend to register for as many classes as my schedule allows me to.”

Jimin has a feeling that Miles isn’t here to have small talk. At any moment, Miles will bring up the conversation about participating at his university’s concert.

“You know, I’ve been thinking about the concert, and I still think you should perform there.”

There he goes. Jimin isn’t surprised he brought it up.

“Last time we spoke, we got interrupted by your girlfriend.”

Jimin’s cheeks burns with embarrassment. “She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Oh? Sorry about that. It’s just that whenever I come to watch you sing, she’s always sitting next to you. I thought that since she got the VIP seat, AKA right next to you, that you two are dating.”

“It’s not like that.”

“Anyway, every time I want to talk to you, she’s always there. I never went up to you again because I as afraid that she’ll try to block you from me.”

Jimin doesn’t know why, but he can’t help but think it’s kind of cute how you would get protective over him, despite the reality of it is that that’s not healthy. Maybe it’s because he’s not used to someone so attached to him as you are that he finds it acceptable.

“I know it’s a bit late, but what do you say to the offer?”

‘Don’t accept Miles’s offer’ is what you warned him. Jimin thought it was also a bit strange that you knew his name too even though you weren’t there for their entire conversation previously either. Perhaps you two have a past that he’s unaware of?

That’s when it hit him. “Wait...Miles, you said that you go to X University, right?”

“That’s right.”

It makes sense now why the name of that university sounds so familiar. You go to that school as well. That might make sense why you don’t want him to participate. Perhaps there’s something suspicious that you know about Miles that he doesn’t show in front of Jimin.

“Well, you did seem more interested when I brought up the topic of money.”

Jimin’s ears perk up.

“Like I said, everyone who performs earns money regardless. It’s not much, but it’s still payment. You’re a wandering musician, right? I’m pretty sure money is hard to come by sometimes.”

The urge to join just for the money is difficult to resist. It’s always been Jimin’s rule since the day he made the commitment of becoming a musician that he’d take any opportunity that has money involved. However, your caution keeps ringing in his ears, telling you to refuse the offer. He doesn’t want you to get upset at him for not listening.

“You don’t have to use the money for yourself. Why don’t you use it to buy something for your friend?”

Jimin looks up, the intensity in his head fading away. “What?”

“Like I said, I come watch you every night. Of course, I see you two talk all the time, and she’s always bringing you food right? Why don’t you use it to repay her?”

Jimin never thought about it that way. He still owes you for all the food you brought him as well as the missing umbrella. This would be a great opportunity to repay you. Besides, even if he doesn’t do well, he’ll still get the money.

“But...isn’t it too late to join your band?”

Miles shakes his head. “It is a bit late, so we won’t have time to work together, unfortunately. But, one of the bands opted out, so there’s an open space. I was wondering if you wanted to fill in that spot before anyone else can. You can perform whatever you want, but the maximum is three songs. So, what do you say?”

This opportunity is too good to miss. Jimin knows how upset you’ll get if you found out, but you’ll probably forgive him if he explains that it’s to return everything you’ve done for him.

“How do I sign up?”

“Meet me at the Watkins Library in X University at 11 A.M. tomorrow, and we can talk to the one in charge of the event to get you in.”

“Okay.”

“Great! I hope to see you tomorrow!” Miles shines a smile.

He waves goodbye before leaving, and Jimin is now left with the problem of having to tell you what he had just done. Since you go to the same school, it’s unavoidable meeting you there, so he might as well come out and say it rather than hiding it. Keeping it a secret will only worsen the situation.

After half an hour, you finally arrive, rushing to him. With the humid weather and having to use your body physically, you’re sweating profusely.

Despite being out of breath, you still muster a smile. “Hey Jimin, sorry I’m late. There was traffic, so the bus was running late.”

“Oh, it’s fine.”

Unsurprisingly, there’s a grocery bag in your hand. He guesses that this time, you brought a home-cooked meal. You take the open spot next to him, the same spot Miles sat, and open the grocery bag to reveal a Tupperware. He was right, you cooked this time.

While you open your mouth to speak, Jimin’s mind drifts off, thinking about the agreement he made with Miles. When is he supposed to bring it up? What will your reaction be? Will you retaliate like how you did before? Jimin can’t keep these questions at bay.

“Jimin? Are you okay?” You break the tension.

“Huh? Oh, yea, I’m fine.”

It’s to repay her. I’m not doing anything bad, Jimin tries to convince himself. There’s nothing wrong with signing up. Because you look really interested in what you’re talking about, he’ll tell you afterward, and in a more private setting as well.

------

Two hours go by, and throughout that time, Jimin had been thinking about how he should tell you about the concert. He’s aware of how much he’s over thinking about this, but he’s just afraid to hurt you. There’s still that lingering feeling that he betrayed you, even though he’s doing this for you.

In your neighborhood, Jimin walks you back, and all you’ve been doing is talking. He’s been spacing out, thinking about the concert. By now, you’ve noticed how off he’s been ever since you met him tonight.

“Jimin? You’ve been quiet lately. Did something happen?” You ask with a concerned voice.

With the way you phrased it, it makes him not want to bring it up even more, but he has to. “It’s not really a big deal but…remember that guy, Miles, and the offer he gave me?”

Your smile disappears. “…What about it?”

“Well…before you came, he talked to me about it.”

“Oh god…” There’s that same look of horror on your face—the same one you had when Miles first approached him. “Please…please tell me you refused.”

“…It wasn’t technically the same offer…but he said that there was an opening and had asked if I would like to take it. And…I’m considering it.”

You don’t have any words to say. He can already tell that you’re against this, so he tries to think of anything to convince you otherwise.

“I haven’t signed the application yet! Also, I’m doing this because-”

“…Please…don’t do it.”

Jimin was expecting you to say that, but it still surprised him. “B-but you're suspicious of Miles, right? I know how wary you are of him, and I thought about what you said. That’s why I’m doing it on my own.”

“That’s not it! Miles isn’t the problem…It’s the entire event itself.”

Jimin is confused with what you mean by the entire event being the problem.

“I mean— you don’t…shouldn’t…You can’t—!” Each time you try starting a sentence, you don’t finish it.

Your mind must be frantic, jumping from one thought process to another. He had a feeling you wouldn’t like his decision, but he didn’t think you’d be this shaken.

“Jimin! Absolutely don’t go anywhere near the concert! Stay away from it!” Your eyes begin to well up.

“What?? Why??”

“Because…I…I don’t…” You begin to breathe heavily. “I don’t know what to say…!”

Jimin puts his hands on your shoulders. You’ve been a mysterious person since the first meeting, being nice to him when it isn’t necessary and giving you warnings with no explanations. You don’t tell him why you’re doing all of this, and this is driving him crazy. What did he do to deserve all this??

“(Y/N)! Calm down.”

You do as he says, and you manage to control your breathing.

“…I need to know what you’re so concerned about. I feel restless if you don't explain everything to me. If you tell me why, then I’ll turn it down again.”

You look down, sniffling as you pull yourself together. “…I can’t bring myself to see you go on that stage…and lose you.”

‘Lose you’? How would performing at your school be considered as losing him?

“I like you, Jimin.” You confess in a low voice.

“Wh…what…?”

He almost can’t believe what you just said. You just confessed that you like him…but why? Romantically? As friends?

“I’ve always wanted to say it, but I was too scared to admit it. I’m just scared about the thought of liking someone and being rejected, so I always kept quiet. But...but I feel like if I don’t say it now, it’ll be too late.”

This is the first time someone has ever confessed to liking Jimin. Usually, he would cut ties with the other before building a solid enough relationship to have those words being said. Because of that lack of experience, he doesn’t know how to respond. He’s hesitant with your confession, his bottom lip quivering slightly.

When he thinks about it logically, is it possible for someone to like someone else within a month? He doesn’t know, but what he does know is that he feels as though a month has not been enough for you to determine that you like him. He doesn’t understand why you would like a homeless man such as him.

Jimin gently pushes you away, averting his eyes. “...I think you’re mistaking your feelings.”

You looked shocked.

“It’s too soon judge whether you like me or not. I mean...I like you too, but not in that way.”

You use the palm of your hand to wipe away the tears. Once you do, you look up, giving him a smile.

“You’re right. What was I thinking? I guess I was being too cocky. There’s no way we can like each other, right? Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

There’s that hurt expression in your eyes, but you’re trying to hide it with your smile. Once again, Jimin hurt you. It’s that same look on your face you had when he first met you. Every time Jimin is with you, all you do is give, but in return, he hurts you. It frustrates him knowing that he can never satisfy you.

But then...he wants to know why he’s so concerned with making you happy. His thoughts have been occupied with nothing else but you lately. Jimin is always thinking about your cheeky smile and how contagious it is that he can’t but smile along with you. But you cry a lot, and that’s because you went through something tragic that he isn’t aware of. Jimin wishes he can patch it up, but he indirectly opens the wound even more.

Would you still have fallen for me…?

Jimin hears a static ringing in his ears. He covers it, a voice creeping into his ears. It sounds familiar.

Would you still have fallen in love with me without those visions…?

“Wh-what…? Visions? ...I…”

“Jimin…? Are you okay?” Jimin begins to lose his balance, and you hold onto him by his forearms.

When he compares your voice to the one he hears, there’s no mistaking it. It’s your voice, but you never said those words to him. But...in the back of his head, he swears that he’s heard them before. He tries to focus on where he heard your voice before, but that constant ringing in his ears is so loud that he can’t. It almost feels like his skull is about to crack.

People don’t want to hear something perfect and soulless. They want to hear something filled with life and passion.

Fragments of unfamiliar memories flash through his mind. All of it is of you doing various activities. But in these memories, none of them are of you crying. You look a lot happier, much better than now.

But in the midst of those memories of you, there’s a voice that plays in his head, and it’s not yours, but his.

It’s not my intention to hurt you.

Jimin remembers standing in front of your university’s canteen, despite never being there before, looking at you straight in the eyes. He remembers saying that to you, and you were frightened of him. Those words ring his ears, unaware of the context of that memory, but still feeling guilty that he couldn’t keep his promise. If his voice claims that he does not intend on hurting you, then he’s failed at his job because he’s made you cry more than necessary.

“O-oh no…! Jimin, what’s wrong?!”

Jimin is overwhelmed with guilt and sadness that he doesn’t know how to convey it properly. He keeps stuttering, wanting to ask if you two met before, but no words come out. There’s a part of him that feels hollow as if there’s a missing piece inside of him. But it’s even more frustrating when he doesn’t know what it is that’s missing.

The static noise is so loud that it makes Jimin light-headed, but you hold onto him. “Jimin? Can you hear me?”

Suddenly, Jimin cups both of your cheeks. You’re frozen, unsure of what he’s doing, but he’s just as confused as you are. It feels almost as if he’s in a trance, and someone else is taking control of his body. And without hesitation, Jimin leans in and kisses you on the lips.

However, he quickly pulls back, realizing what he has done. Jimin pulls his hands away, covering his mouth while you stare at him in a daze. It starts to sink in that he had just kissed you impulsively, and now his face is flushed with red.

“I didn’t mean to...I…”

Due to his embarrassment, Jimin instinctively turns the opposite direction and runs off. He doesn’t know what overcame him. He feels so humiliated about what happened, especially after he turned down your confession as well.

------

“Ong Seohyun.” The principal announces.

In the school auditorium, the seats are filled with parental guardians and the stage with students who have received excellent scores for their honor classes. Each time a student has been called, they would walk to the front of the stage, shake the principal’s hand, then receive their certificate. Adults would applaud in the background, though depending on how many family members came to the ceremony, the decibel of the applaud varies.

“Park Jimin.”

Unlike for Ong Seohyun, Jimin receive minor, pitiful applauds. However, that doesn’t deter Jimin whatsoever. He worked hard to get perfect scores, so he deserves this. However, the students around him mumble to themselves, surprised to hear Jimin’s name being called out.

“What? Jimin’s here too?”

“What the hell?”

“I thought he was taking all regular classes.”

As the students murmur to themselves, Jimin proudly marches to the front with a big grin on his face. The principal reaches his hand out, and Jimin shakes it.

“Congratulations.” He whispers to Jimin.

“Thank you.”

Typically, there would be a few parents taking pictures of their child receiving the certificate, but due to Jimin’s circumstance, no one takes pictures of him. The only person who takes a picture is the photographer that the school hired so that the parents can buy the photos later. Jimin and the principal look at the camera and flash a smile.

Jimin walks out from behind the backstage, feeling ecstatic. He can’t believe it! He’s one of the honor students! He couldn’t be more happy for himself. The students have been given extra time afterward to finish up the ceremony, a majority of them meet with their family. Jimin heads straight to the food stand, where parents have volunteered to bring food, though a majority of them brought chips and cookies.

He grabs a plate, picking out one cookie of each type, and while doing so, a student with her parents line up behind him.

“I’m so proud of you, kiddo.” the father says, patting her on the head.

“Dad, stop! That’s embarrassing.”

“But I can’t help but be so proud!”

“Honey, your grandma wants to celebrate, so after school, let’s go buy a cake.” her mother suggests.

“Sure! I want a strawberry cake.”

Listening to their conversation, Jimin feels a pit growing in his chest. I wish I got cake...Jimin thought to himself. He barely even gets a cake from his foster parents. If anything, they always return him before an opportunity arises. There are too many kids with different birthdays at the adoption center, so at most he gets a ‘happy birthday’ from the head owner, IF she remembers. He doubts she’ll even congratulate him on this either.

After getting cookies and a cup of red fruit punch, Jimin searches for a place to sit. However, all of the benches are taken by the students and their families. Jimin is surrounded by loved-ones congratulating their children on their hard work. As he searches for a place to stay, he is only entrapped with loving families, all in their own worlds and spending time with their families.

Eventually, Jimin finds an empty spot at a grassy area, the number of families not as high, but still existing in his peripheral. With no one on either side, Jimin can do nothing but bear witness to the unconditional love he’s never received. He’s familiar with some of these students being bullies, but their parents still love them regardless. Meanwhile, Jimin has to earn that love, but despite the good grades, he failed on something as common as being loved.

Though he’s aware that he has no parents, it never really hit him now how truly lonely it feels to be an orphan. But it hits him even harder that he’s already 16 and yet still unwanted. Adopters are looking for fresh, young meat, nothing someone as stale as Jimin. It’s passed his prime of finding a family—so he’ll never be able to experience what it’s like to be treasured by another person.

A lump forms in this throat as he tries to swallow his cookies, holding back the tears as much as he can. While surrounded by the sound of laughter and affection, Jimin wishes that once for his life, someone would tell him that they love him no matter what. Just for a moment, he’d like to know how that feels.

------

“Oh, Jimin? You’re here again?” Miles calls out to Jimin when he noticed him from a distance.

Miles approaches Jimin, who’s sitting on a concrete bench alone. He’s sitting near the university’s library, nothing to protect him from the humid rain. Miles pities him, so he hovers his umbrella over his head.

“Yea…” is all Jimin can say.

Ever since Jimin came with Miles to apply for the concert, Jimin has been coming to the campus library during his free time. He recalls that whenever you’re not in class or in the plaza, you’ll be in the library. Unfortunately, every time Jimin waits, he never sees you come in or out, which concerns him that he may have misheard the library location.

Jimin waited at the plaza for you, but you stopped showing up since that night. He’s concerned that he really hurt you this time, so he’s trying to make amends, but other than the university and plaza, Jimin doesn’t know where else to find you. There’s always the neighborhood where you live, but he doesn’t know your exact address.

“Have you been practicing?” Miles asks.

“Yea, I have.” He lies straight through his teeth.

Jimin hasn’t practice even once because he’s been using all his time to look for you. It’s pointless to even practice when the reason for practicing isn’t here with him. He can’t focus on anything other than you.

Miles notices how scratchy Jimin’s voice sounds. When Jimin spoke, he started coughing, an itchy sensation tickling his throat.

“Are you okay?”

“Yea, I’m good. Never mind that, Miles…have you seen (Y/N) around?”

“(Y/N)...?” Miles thinks long and hard if he’s ever heard that name before. “I don’t know anyone with that name...By any chance, is she the friend you always talk to?”

“Yea, I haven’t been seeing her around, so I’ve been kind of looking for her.”

“Did you get her upset by any chance?”

“I...don’t know, but I do know that I’ve said some things that might’ve hurt her. I want to get the chance to apologize, and I’m worried that she might be avoiding me because of it.”

“Is that so?” Miles raises an eyebrow. “I know I asked this before, but just to make sure, you two aren’t dating, right?”

“We’re not.”

“Oh, is this the classic unrequited love that I’ve heard of by any chance?” Miles asks teasingly.

Jimin’s cheeks turn slightly red. “What are you talking about? I don’t like her...that way.”

Miles snickers. “Are you sure? Whenever I see you two together, you always look so happy to see her. You got that chippy look on your face and you look at her with those dreamy eyes like nothing else matters in the world.”

He elbows Miles’s ribcage, wanting him to stop with his cheesy lines.

“Okay, okay. But you can’t deny that you have some feelings for her. I mean, you’re so worried that you made her upset that you keep coming to her school in hopes you can make up. Doesn’t that count?”

“It’s not...like that.”

“Wow. You’re dense.” He states. “Well, I’m sorry to inform you that I haven’t seen her. Also...you don’t look so good. I think being out in the rain all the time is making you sick. You should go home. Worry about yourself before you worry about her.”

Jimin has been here since this morning so he might call it quits for now. “Yea, I’ll be going home...in a few hours.”

“What?! That’s not good! Lemme drive you home! I just finished my last class for the day, so I have time to drop you off.”

“No, I’ll be fine.”

“I’m not going to let some sick person tell me what to do. I’m going to take you home.”

------

“Thanks for taking me home.”

“Yea, no problem. Just let me know if there’s anything else you need.”

“Thanks.”

Miles waves goodbye and drives off, leaving Jimin alone on the sidewalk by his apartment. It’s still raining heavily, and the humidity has not gone away. It might be because Jimin’s body doesn’t feel well, but the humidity is starting to annoy him. He thinks it’s bothersome having to wear clothes to protect himself from the rain but having it to be light enough so that he doesn’t sweat in it.

Jimin covers his mouth with his fist when he coughs, dragging his feet to the outdoor staircase. He didn’t think his health would be this poor, but after getting out of Miles car, it feels like it’s gotten worse. When he gets to the base of the staircase, Jimin nearly jumps after seeing a person standing there, their back facing him. He quickly recognizes that it’s you, but for a second, he thought you were a ghost because of how pale you look.

The sound of his feet sloshing in the muddy grass area catches your attention. You turn to see Jimin, and with a worried expression, you dash to him. It almost seems as if you wanted to hug him, but Jimin’s intuition was wrong. You don’t hug him at all. But besides that, Jimin is happy to see you again—so happy that he couldn’t help but sigh in relief.

Almost immediately, you put your hand over his forehead. “What are you doing in the rain?? Your forehead’s on fire!”

Jimin is speechless at how you knew that he’s sick. In addition to that, Jimin would also like to know how you know where he lives. But he’s not worried about that. Despite it being humid, your hands are surprisingly cold, and it feels nice on his burning face.

“Let’s go in your apartment.”

Some time has gone by, and Jimin is lying on his futon. He’s a bit embarrassed that you have to see the interior of his apartment. It’s not in the best condition, having mold growing in the corners, rodents scurrying across the room, and even cracks on the walls. But you don’t seem to mind. You walk around his apartment as if you’ve been in it before.

“You don’t have any medicine, so I’m going to go out and buy some.”

“You don’t have to. I’ll get better without it.”

“But you’ll get better faster if you take it.”

“...You don’t need to do all this for me.”

You stand by the door, opening it while you look at him before giving him a smiling he hasn’t seen in a while. “I’m doing this on my own volition. Go to sleep while I go shopping. I’ll be back.”

You close the door behind you. What you said sounded like you said it before, but he doesn’t remember when. But doesn’t matter because he’s just immensely overjoyed to see your face. He covers his face with his forearm, trying his hardest to contain his childish smile. He’s glad that you’re back.

------

Jimin opens his eyes, awaken by the sound of someone whimpering. He’s unsure of how long he slept. After you left, Jimin knocked out within seconds. He also sees that you’re still here, sitting on the ground next to the futon, covering your eyes with one hand. He woke up to the sound of you crying.

“I don’t know what to do...I don’t know what to do…” You keep repeating to yourself like a madwoman. “How do I know...if I’m doing what’s right…?”

You continue to mumble to yourself, hiccuping in between sentences as tears roll down your cheeks. Jimin’s body feels weak, barely having the strength to even sit up, so he does nothing else but stares at you as you cry helplessly.

He looks down at your lap. There you rest your hands, and in your hand is a woven talisman with an iris stitched in the center.

“Everything I do is still the same...I just...don’t know how to change everything. I don’t want to lose him again.”

Your head is lowered, staring straight at the talisman. It almost looks as if you’re conversing with it. Also, you said ‘again’, meaning that you lost someone before. Now Jimin is beginning to understand why you’ve been so heartbroken for the past month. You must’ve lost someone important to you. And maybe the reason why you’re attached to Jimin is that he reminds him of the one you lost. He feels his chest tighten with just the thought that your heart belongs to someone else. Jimin swears that he doesn’t like you, but he’s also jealous of the person who truly catches your eye.

“I thought that if I protect him, then it wouldn’t be the same..but when I think about it, I’m starting to believe that maybe I’m the problem. I think...I should stop visiting him once and for all. This time, for sure.”

You’ve been avoiding him this entire past week because you’ve come to the conclusion that you’re a burden. He can’t believe that you feel that way about yourself. He’s the one who should be feeling like a burden. You’re always preparing meals for him and keeping him company every night. Despite his lack of experience in communicating, you overlook it. He’s never had anyone want him this much before.

He remembers that childish wish that he used to pray for every night. All he wanted was to experience unconditional love, just once. And with this past month, his wish has finally been granted, so how can he be so stupid? You’ve been giving him that all this time, and it took him this long to realize. So having you not with him would mean that he will possibly never experience it ever again. He’s aware that he wished to experience it just once, but now that he’s gotten a taste of it, he can’t help but be selfish and beg for more.

“(Y/N)...” Jimin whispers under his scratchy voice.

You gasp quietly, hiding the talisman in your back pocket. You hurriedly wipe your tears away, leaving only your swollen eyes. You crawl to him, your face being inches away from him.

“How are you feeling? Has your fever gone down?”

You put your hand over his sweaty forehead to feel his temperature.

“It’s not as bad as it was before. I couldn’t give you the medicine yet because you were asleep. I can go fetch your medicine now-”

But without warning, Jimin wraps his arms around your neck. He pulls you in until your cheek is resting on his chest. When he feels your back, he notices that your clothes are drenched in rainwater. If he bought you an umbrella beforehand, you wouldn’t be this wet. This just makes him want to buy you an umbrella even more. You must’ve stayed with him without ever going back to your apartment to change. You’re being too sweet to him, and now he’s worried that you’re going to get sick.

“You say that you don’t cry often...but that’s all you do.”

“I’m sorry…”

“Why are you apologizing? It’s not your fault.”

“But...don’t you think I’m annoying? All I do is get in your personal space.”

“You’re not.”

“I’m creepy, aren’t I? It’s almost like I’m a stalker.”

“If you consider yourself as a stalker, then I must be one too.”

“What are you talking about?”

“All I did for the past few days was hanging out in front of your university library, hoping to see you. Then I waited at the plaza for you when the sun went down.”

“You what??”

You squirm under his arms, trying to be released from his grip. However, Jimin refuses to let you go. He doesn’t want you to see how red his face is from admitting how much he missed you.

“So if you call yourself a stalker, then I’m one as well. We’re both guilty of being each other’s stalkers.”

After a long pause, you exhale a small chuckle, something Jimin never perceived as something he is glad to hear.

“What kind of logic is that?” You bury your face into his chest, your laughter dissipating. “You’re making me embarrassed...saying all those stuff to me. I feel like you’re spoiling me almost.”

“I should be the one saying that.”

Just then, you shot straight up as if you remembered something. Since Jimin’s arms are weak, it was easy for you to overpower him when you caught him off-guard.

“Do you hear that??”

“What?”

“The rain! It stopped! Then...that means…” You rub your chin. “You have to sit up!”

You grab him by both of his wrists, pulling him up with an aggressive amount of force. He can almost his joints get locked, but thankfully you didn’t pull that hard. You apologize to him quickly and half-heartedly.

You dart to the gray curtains covering the window. You pull them to the side, revealing a rainbow appearing across the sky. You point to the rainbow in case Jimin didn’t catch it, giving him the most excited, sincere smile he’s ever seen.

“Look Jimin, there’s a rainbow!” You turn to him, shrugging your shoulders and grinning so wide that you show your teeth. “Beautiful, isn’t it?”

His eyes widen when he felt his heart skip a beat. Jimin always unconsciously thought that your smile is cute, but the one right now outshines the rainbow that you’re admiring. He is so captivated by your expression that he doesn’t dare look away to see the rainbow. He’ll miss every detail of your face if he looks away.

“Yea, it’s very beautiful…”

“Hey Jimin, did you know that a talisman is supposed to bring good fortune?” You say while staring at the rainbow. “And a yellow iris is supposed to symbolize ‘promise in loving relationships’. So when the two are combined, I like to think that a talisman iris will bring good fortune to a relationship.”

Jimin knows that he said that he didn’t like you romantically, but he has a strong feeling that he’s going to have to take that back. In the end, he never got the chance to apologize about that night, but then again, he knows that you’ll forgive him.

------

And just like that, almost two months have flown by, and each day he spends with you, his feelings for you only grows stronger. You never brought up your confession ever again, but that was fine. He doesn’t care if you don’t truly love him for himself—as long as he gets to be with you then that’s all that matters.

He started visiting you often at your university, and you would give him a tour of the campus, even though you’ve given him a tour more times than you can count. However, touring is just an excuse to spend more time with you. Jimin has started waiting for you outside of class, and there were occasions when you would let him sit with you during lectures, but he would never understand a single word the professor says.

Jimin can’t remember the last time he liked a person this much. He likes you so much that just thinking about you is enough to make his day twice as better, and seeing you in person quadruples it. He feels like a schoolgirl, squealing over something as small as a crush sitting next to them.

You haven’t cried since that day, and Jimin prefers it that way. Though he thinks you look cute when you cry, he likes it better that you’re happy. That way, at least he knows that you’re not having an internal crisis. And despite being against him performing at the concert, you decide to let him. You still don’t look comfortable with it, but since he already signed the papers and everything, it’s already too late because the gap until the concert is narrowing.

Tonight, Jimin has decided not to perform at the plaza and instead practice for the concert on your campus. Since he can’t reserve any private rooms, he decides to play outdoors, but he prefers it like that because he’ll be playing outside anyway. It’s good to hear the quality of his guitar outdoors than being inside.

You’re next to him on the grass with the flashlight on your phone on. During practice, Jimin was telling you his adventures of being a wandering musician and the insane stories that he got involved. Though you try your hardest not to show it, you don’t look too surprised, as if you’ve heard these stories before. However, there’s one story that shocks you.

“What?!”

“Yep. I stole this guitar.”

“How?!”

“The counselor for my foster care had a craze for collecting guitars from celebrities. Well, the knock-off versions of course. She couldn’t buy the real ones except for one,” Jimin raises the guitar to show that this is a legit guitar from a celebrity. “But I never liked her. She always sent me to foster parents with the nastiest personalities. So, when I turned eighteen and no longer was a part of the foster system, I wanted to leave a reminder of myself by stealing her most prized possession.”

You cover your mouth to hold in your laughter. But you fail within seconds, bursting into a fit of laughter.

“I can’t believe you did something as ballsy as stealing that guitar! I can’t imagine you doing anything as bad as this! Or anything bad at all.”

Jimin pouts, his bottom lip protruding upward. “I should let you know that I actually wasn’t a good student at all. I was the definition of a bad boy back in school.”

You laugh even harder. You keep laughing until your stomach hurts. “You look nowhere near being a bad boy.”

“Yea, I was! I shaved my head because I thought that made me look more intimidating, and I always walked with my hands in my pockets because I thought I looked cool. I ditched a lot and never properly wore my uniform,” when remembering that image of himself, Jimin becomes bashful. He couldn’t believe he did that in the past.

“I wish I knew you in high school. I would love to see that.”

Jimin chuckles, but then it dies down. “But...there was a time when I really did try to be a good student.”

“Really?”

“Yea, when I was a junior. I was tired of everyone either pitying me or teasing me because I was constantly moving to different homes. Everyone kept saying things like ‘oh, he’ll never get anywhere’ and things like that, so I wanted to prove that I can be someone without growing up in a normal household. I studied every single day until I passed out from mental exhaustion.”

Jimin keeps making quick glances at you, seeing if you’re giving him a pitiful expression like what people would typically do. However, your face isn’t changing at all; you’re interested to hear more about him.

“And so finally, I scored high enough on my test scores that I was invited to go to my school’s annual honorary ceremony, where students with top grades receive a cruddy certificate and shake the principal’s hand. I mean, as a kid, you’d think that that would sound amazing, but the quality of that certificate was no more important than a plain sheet of paper. We just had to think it was important. But that day I learned that it isn’t the certificate that is rewarding.”

Jimin sets his guitar down. He hates remembering this time, but he can never let it go.

“It was hearing people telling you, ‘good job, you did it’ or ‘I’m so proud of you’ that would make all that work worth it. The kids that day took those words for granted, pushing their parents’ hands away, more worried about their pride. They should be feeling lucky that at least, they had someone who can be happy for them. Everyone I knew always looked out for themselves.”

This is a secret that he’s kept for a long time, and out it went so easily. Those three months he’s spent with you, he feels comfortable with sharing everything. He never thought there would come a day where he can spill his heart out to another person.

You were quiet this entire time, listening to him diligently. Jimin feels embarrassed for having to tell you something so immature. He’s a grown adult, but something that happened in high school is still bothering him.

However, you raise your hand, patting him on the head. Jimin was not expecting you to do that, so he’s at a loss for words.

“They don’t realize that not being pampered since birth is what made you an independent person. You didn’t need other people to push you to be your greatest; you just did it on your own. My parents had to nag at me all the time to study, and I’m still not great at it. You should be proud of yourself.”

Jimin’s face explodes in red. Though Jimin’s underlying tone was that he was begging for you to say those words, he’s still extremely embarrassed.

Jimin wraps his hand around your wrist, pulling your hand away from his head. “You didn’t really have to say that. I’m not a kid anymore.”

“Haha...sorry. I just thought you would like to hear that.”

He doesn’t know what to do with you. He likes you so much that he can’t express it properly. All he can do is turn the opposite direction whenever he feels restless.

“But...I didn’t hate it.”

Jimin puts your hand on his cheek, brushing your knuckles gently against it. You can tell that his cheeks are hot, having been conquered by your words. Even though he never said it aloud, Jimin has dropped enough hints for you to know that your feelings and his feelings are mutual. Jimin leans in close, and now he’s starting to notice how flustered you are as well. He’s relieved that he isn’t the only one being worked up.

“Hey (Y/N), I-”

The romantic mood has been interrupted by the sound of your phone ringing. The both of you flinch from the sudden ring, your spirits nearly jumping out. Realizing what he was about to do, Jimin moves away. He doesn’t know what overcame him into holding your hand like that.

You look at the caller ID, and once your saw it, you immediately silence your phone. Jimin saw it briefly, reading the ID as ‘Dad’. Jimin didn’t expect you to ignore your own father’s call, but then he recalls that you’re still upset at your parents for their divorce.

It’s not even a few seconds before your phone starts ringing again after it went straight to voicemail. Each time you ignore it, your father calls you again.

It isn’t until after the sixth attempt that he starts sending you a large number of text messages. You sigh, but you decide to read anyway since you don’t necessarily have to reply to them. Once you read all of them you turn off your phone, rubbing your sinus.

“Is everything alright?”

“My father is getting married again.”

Jimin’s jaw drops. “What?? But didn’t you say that your parents just finalized their divorce not too long ago?”

“Yea, but it’s not like he cares. Once he sees a pretty woman, he can’t sit still. This time he’s getting engaged to a woman no older than us by a few years.”

Jimin feels disgusted. He can’t understand why your father would do such a thing. Your father is no different than those people who take relationships lightly—never cherishing what they have in the moment and rashly jumping onto the next train. He can already tell that in the long run, your father won’t be happy with his life.

“It’s fine. I’ve gotten used to this since I was five. He’s a sociopathic womanizer who uses people to his liking just to save himself.”

Before, you mentioned that you wish you never end up in an unhappy marriage like your parents. Your father created all this unhappiness for you, and it just angers him thinking about it.

“But isn’t it weird that after all this time, despite my parents’ flaws, I still love them? I don’t forgive them for never learning from their mistakes, but I can’t forget all the things they’ve done for me. I still have fond memories of when we were a happy family.”

“...I’m sorry.”

“For what? You did nothing wrong.”

“Back then, I said that you had a good and comfortable life...I was too busy pitying myself that I didn’t bother seeing your problems.”

“It’s okay. That was in the past. I forgave you a long time ago.”

“Is that why…” but before Jimin finishes his sentence, he stops himself. “Never mind.”

“What is it?”

“...Is that why you were crying when we first met?”

You’re surprised that he brought that up.

“Sorry! That must be a sensitive topic.”

“...I lost someone dear to me.”

Jimin blinks profusely.

“That person was very dear to me, even though we’ve only known each other for a short time. Even when I was being difficult, he was always waiting for me, and I can never forget what he’s done for me. So when I lost him, I was an emotional wreck.”

Jimin’s chest tightens when he heard ‘he’. He can only assume that that person was your former lover.

“But I think you misunderstood me. I wasn’t crying that day because I was heartbroken. I was so happy to have met you at the park that I was overwhelmed with joy.”

Your cheeks are turning red again. He’s glad that you’re not thinking about your father, but Jimin is envious of the one who changed you. Jimin wishes he was the one, but he knows that he never will.

But when you said that you were feeling joyful when you met Jimin, he can only assume one thing. “So then...did you start following me because I remind you of him?”

“What?! Th-that’s not it! My reason is not what you expect at all, and you’ll never guess it.”

Despite having been with you for a while now, there’s still a huge portion of you that he doesn’t know. You’re a very open but secretive person at the same time, and he can never solve you. Still, Jimin can’t deny that what he feels for you is real. Even if you stood by his side because he resembles that person, it doesn’t matter to him. As long as he can do something for you, then that’s all he cares about.

“...I can’t understand how that person can be so cruel and leave you,” he mutters to himself. “If I were him, then I would never forgive myself.”

You blush hearing him say that, averting your eyes. “I wonder about that.”

Based on the tone that you used, it sounds like you’re not taking him seriously. If anything, you look like you’re trying not to laugh.

“I’m being serious!”

“I know, but I just can’t help it. I just really like you, that’s all.”

This is the second time you’ve said that you like him. The last time you said it, Jimin messed up and left you so hurt that you didn’t say it again. This time, he’s not going to make the same mistake.

Jimin leans in, kissing you on the lips. It lasts for a few seconds before he pulls himself away. He wants to kiss you again because your face is adorable when you’re blushing, but he holds himself back. He’s afraid that if he does it again, he won’t be able to control himself.

“I like you so much that I can’t think of the right words to express it.”

“You don’t have to explain it. I think I understand.”

No, you don’t. You don’t know how much you’ve saved him from falling into a dark pit. He’s spent his entire life feeling like an extra piece of skin on this earth, wandering mindlessly without finding a place to settle down. But with you, it doesn’t matter if he has a roof over his head—just having you here is enough for him.

“(Y/N), thank you…”

“For what?”

“For giving me a home…”

------

“Happy birthday, Jimin!!”

It’s early in the morning, and you’re standing in front of Jimin’s door. You show him a strawberry shortcake that you bought the day before just for this occasion.

Jimin is speechless, wondering how you know that today’s his birthday. “H-how…?”

“I’m a psychic,” You jester.

Each moment he spends with you, he ends up liking you even more. When he thought that he’s reached his maximum level, he discovers that there’s still more room to like you.

You ask if you can enter, and Jimin gives you permission. You take off your shoes next to the door, then you head to the kitchen to slice the cake. Jimin hasn’t gotten the chance to prepare himself for the day, so he rushes to the bathroom, a bit embarrassed that you had to see him in his sloppy appearance.

After brushing his teeth, Jimin checks on you to find you searching through every crook and cranny of the kitchen. “Do you not have a knife?”

“There’s no reason for me to have a knife, so I don’t have one.”

“You also have no plates, forks, or spoons. How do you survive?”

“Hands.” Jimin raises his hands up, laughing at his own sarcasm.

You heave out a single laugh. “At least your apartment is kind enough to provide a fridge. I’m going to go back to my apartment and get some utensils.”

“Wait, we’re gonna eat it now?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s too early to be eating cake. Why don’t we eat it after the concert? That way, we can celebrate both my birthday and performance.”

It feels unusual for Jimin to be saying that he’s going to celebrate something relating to him. He’s so used to ignoring special days, so it’s a little exhilarating anticipating the celebration tonight.

However, you look a bit disappointed. You have the expression that you want to eat it now, but you don’t want to start an argument first thing in the morning. You shrug your shoulders, agreeing to him.

“Okay, I’ll bring the cake back to my apartment, and we can eat there.”

“No, you can leave it here. No need for you to walk all the way back just to keep it cold.” Jimin wonders if your reason is because you don’t trust the quality of his fridge, seeing the poor state of his apartment.

“It’s okay, I can take the bus back quickly and return.”

You take the cake and try to rush to his door, but Jimin grabs you by the shoulder. For some reason, your behavior today is odd. You look frantic.

“Are you okay? You don’t look well.”

When he gets a closer look at your face, he notices two, very dark eye bags. You look like you haven’t had sleep for the past few days. Something’s been bothering you, and you’re going back to your usual routine of not telling him.

“Oh, sorry. I haven’t been able to sleep because I’m just excited for your performance. It’s going to be my first time seeing you perform on stage, so I’ve been thinking about it.”

“Is...that it?”

You nod. “Yup. If it makes you feel better, I’ll leave the cake here. I just wanted to have a pre-celebration before your concert as a way of me wishing you good luck, so I wanted to jump into it as soon as possible.”

Jimin can’t contain himself. Everything you do is for him, and it makes him so happy. He wraps his arms around you, nuzzling your face between his neck and shoulder.

“I think you cheered me on enough, so I already have all the luck in the world. Thank you, though.”

“Yea…”

------

“Mr. Park! You’re up in five!” A staff member shouts from across the backstage.

Jimin checks his strings for the last time before he goes. Though it’s common for him to sing in front of a crowd, he’s particularly nervous about tonight. It may have to do with the change of setting—having to stand on a stage in front of a handful of people, the spotlight that’ll blind his sight.

You’ve been glued to his side the entire day. You’re always with him, but it’s today that you won’t let him go even for just one second. You play it off cool, but he can tell that you’re feeling restless, and he doesn’t know why. The most he can do is be by your side until you’re at ease.

You’re with him right now too, watching Jimin as he tunes his guitar. The band before him is wrapping up their last song. Once the last note of the band’s song fades away into the open air, the crowd cheers. The band members bow, thanking them for watching. They run off stage, and now it’s Jimin’s turn.

“I’m going up there now.”

“Okay. Good luck.”

You look like you’re spacing out. Jimin would like to ask you if there’s something bothering you, but he doesn’t have time. He pats you on the head then runs onto the stage.

Just as he thought, the stage lights are very bright, preventing him from seeing the crowd. All he can see now is the microphone stand just inches away from him. He has no time to be thinking about the lights, as he has to perform.

“Hello, everyone. My name is Jimin, and this is my first time performing at a university. For tonight’s concert, I’m going to perform three songs from Busker Busker: At the Entrance to the Alley, First Love, and Cherry Blossom Ending. I hope you will enjoy it.”

He steps away from the microphone, sighing to himself as he counts the tempo for At the Entrance to the Alley in his head. He holds onto his guitar pick between his thumb and index finger, raising the neck of the guitar to the same level of his head. He makes one more glance at the audience, seeing you in the back, smiling.

Jimin raises his guitar pick, inhaling before strumming the first note.

------

The concert is finally over, and the participants are given the chance to meet with the audience. Jimin pushes through the dense crowd, being surrounded by people congratulating their loved ones who have performed. Typically at a time like this, Jimin would hate staying for after-parties, but not so much anymore. Because at least there’s one person in the crowd who he looks forward to.

Jimin finds you standing alone. When you spot him, your eyes light up, running to him with excitement. “That was an awesome performance, Jimin!! I knew all that practice wouldn’t go down the drain! I’m really proud of you.”

Jimin’s glad to hear that you enjoyed it as well as congratulating him. He finally got to experience what it’s like to see another person happy for their hard work. What’s more, there’s a cake waiting for him in his apartment, so the celebration isn’t ending just yet.

“Thanks.”

Your excitement quickly disappears, however, your mind occupied with something else. “Hey...we don’t...really have to eat the cake tonight, do we? We can always eat it tomorrow.”

“What, really? That’s too bad…” Jimin was looking forward to the cake the most.

Your guilt obviously shows on your face when you saw how sad you’ve made him. “Th-then, I can get the cake from your apartment. You just stay at my apartment. You’re the one who we’re celebrating tonight, so you just relax.”

“Jimin,” a third voice interrupts your conversation with Jimin. It’s Miles. “Congrats on an amazing performance. That was spectacular.”

“Thanks. Your band was amazing too.”

“Thanks,” Miles leans over to the side and notices you. “You must be (Y/N). Jimin talks very kindly of you.”

The two of you blush, making Miles enjoy having to see you two as such an innocent couple.

“Sorry to ruin the moment, but (Y/N), may I have Jimin to myself for a while?”

You give him a ferocious glare, and he already knew without having you say anything that you refuse.

“It’s fine! (Y/N), I’ll meet you back at your apartment. I remember your address.”

Jimin is about to head off with Miles, but you grab him by the sleeve. When he looks down, he sees that you desperately don’t want him to go. But Miles might want to talk about the money he’s supposed to receive for performing. He needs it if he’s going to buy an umbrella for you.

“If you go, then promise me that you’ll head straight to my apartment. Go straight to my place no matter what.”

“I will.”

------

“Thank you very much.” Jimin thanks Miles after receiving the payment.

“You don’t need to thank me. It’s you who earned it anyway. The event holder wanted to give it to you in person, but you were gone once the concert ended.”

“Really?”

“He really liked your performance. I’m friends with him, so he wanted me to pass it on to you that he would like to have you perform for the next event. This time, he’ll compensate you for more.”

“I’ll do it.” If it means having another reason to stay in town with you, then he’ll take every opportunity he gets.

“That’s great. Well then, I don’t want to hold you for long. You’re making her wait.” Miles says goodbye and walks off.

Jimin looks at the stack of cash. It’s not a lot, but it’s definitely enough. He can finally repay you for losing your umbrella at the park. He knows that you want him to go straight to your apartment afterward, but having the money in front of him now, he really wants to surprise you with a gift. He can already imagine what kind of expression you’ll have on your face.

Jimin asks a passerby what the time is, and it’s 10:23 P.M. As long as he doesn’t take too long, he decides to quickly run to the store and buy a replica of the umbrella before running to your apartment.

After a couple of minutes, Jimin walks out the convenience store with a brand new pink umbrella. He wanted to buy you one with better quality, but all the stores except for this one was closed. He also bought some fried chicken and soda along the way, since he should also contribute to the celebration.

However, he just remembered that you left the cake in his place. You don’t have access to his apartment so you couldn’t have gotten it on the way back. It would be meaningless to celebrate without the cake, so making a stop at his place wouldn’t hurt. He knows he’s been keeping you on hold for a while now, but he’ll apologize to you later.

------

When he gets to his apartment, he can hear a loud voice coming from the second floor. Complementing the shouting is banging, and whoever is hitting the door, they’re using so much force that they might break through the wood. As much as Jimin would like to ignore it, it’s coming from the direction of his apartment room.

While walking up the stairs, he can get a clearer view of what’s going on—there’s a bald, muscular man slamming his fist on Jimin’s neighbor’s door. To get to his own apartment, that would mean passing by the man who looks clearly furious.

“You fucking whore! I told you to open up the goddamn door!!” The man shouts in slurs. “I know you’ve been sleeping with other men! Open up before I break it down!”

As much as he doesn’t want to get involved, he doesn’t want to leave the situation as is. Jimin has met his neighbor on a few occasions, and she seems like a kind person, so she doesn’t deserve this kind of treatment.

Jimin approaches the man. “Excuse me, sir. Stop harassing the woman please or I’ll call the police.”

Jimin doesn’t have a phone, but he thought that by bluffing that he does, then the man will stop. However, Jimin’s intervention only angers the man even more, turning his aggression at him now.

“Are you one of the guys who’s been fucking my lady?”

When the man stomps closer to Jimin, he can get a strong whiff of alcohol. This man must be intoxicated.

“No, I’m her neighbor. So stop disrupting the neighbors and go home.”

Suddenly, the man grabs Jimin by the collar. While the man isn’t well-balanced, his strength is still apparent. He practically lifts Jimin off of his feet and being unable to stand still, the man unconsciously walks forward. He keeps walking until Jimin is practically by the edge of the staircase.

“Fucking liar.”

Mixed in with his alcoholic breath is fried chicken. Whatever kind of chicken he ate, it must’ve been greasy and overly salted. It’s too overbearing that Jimin holds his breath.

“Get out of my way.”

The man lets go of Jimin, having him lose his balance and falling backward off the stairs.

The sound of the umbrella hitting each step echoes throughout the complex, bouncing off until it finally reaches the base. Jimin stares at the umbrella rolling off into the deserted parking lot in front of the main lobby, having saved himself from falling by grabbing the metal railing. Had he not have grabbed the rails, then he wouldn’t know if he would be unscatched if he fell. His heart is pounding with pure terror, realizing that he could’ve lost his life in that moment.

However, his ordeal doesn’t end here. The man had returned to his neighbor, continuing his pestering. Now very upset that that man had just attempted murder, Jimin marches right for him. He grabs the man forearm and forcefully pulls it off the woman’s door. Jimin is angry, but not enough to want to punch him.

“What the fuck!?”

“Don’t you get it? She doesn’t want to see you, so go away otherwise I’ll make you.”

“Don’t joke around with me! You scrawny piece of shit!”

And without a struggle, the man throws Jimin to the ground, landing on his right elbow first. His nerves send signals through his entire body, the pain traveling everywhere. Jimin grunts, fearing that his elbow might’ve disjointed.

The man kicks Jimin in the face. Jimin can taste the leather shoe in his mouth, accidentally biting his tongue in the process. The impact is so strong that Jimin falls backward, banging his head on the concrete floor. Jimin is now laying in front of his front door, just remembering that he came here to get the cake. He wonders what you’re doing right now.

Suddenly, he gets a flashback. He remembers standing in front of your school’s library, holding your pink umbrella in his hand. He never brought your umbrella to your library before. He’s starting to remember how nervous he was to talk to you for the first time. He was a mess.

The man proceeds to kick him in the ribcage. With each kick, the air is forced out of him. He thinks a few of his ribs have been broken. He then picks up Jimin by the hair, lifting him so he can punch him in the face.

With his consciousness blinking in and out, Jimin begins getting a surge of memories. He remembers holding that talisman that he saw you holding. Why did he have it? Jimin lost in once, looking in the water fountain for it. That was when you showed up and felt his forehead, upset that he was being careless and walking around with a fever. While was he resting, you went back to the plaza to look for the talisman of the iris.

The man punches him again, breaking his nose. Jimin keeps coming in and out of consciousness, and each time his vision turns black, he keeps remembering memories he never made with you as far as he knows. Jimin joining Miles’s band and you coming with him to every rehearsal, cheering him up when he was frustrated that he couldn’t play properly. You’re unlike what you are now, so quiet and reserved. You didn’t like showing it, but you were very scared that he would leave you one day.

The man grabs Jimin’s scalp, pushing his face against the wall. His face is covered in blood, including from his mouth and nose. “The hell? Why aren’t you dead yet?”

In the last of his memories, Jimin remembers he got into a fight with this man on the exact same day and time. The way he’s even beating him is the same as how he did in his memories. After banging his head on the wall, Jimin knows what he’s going to do next: he’s going to drag him to the stairs and push him down the case, wherein his final moments, all Jimin could think about is apologizing to you how he was going to die without properly saying goodbye.

------

“I can help you meet your soulmate.” An elderly lady said after giving Jimin the talisman. “But meeting her will lead you to your premature death, and I can’t guarantee I can help you return to life because it will not be my final decision, but your partner’s. So you must gain her trust and pass this on to her.”

Jimin cups the talisman in both of his palms. He was staring at it, thinking long and hard. “What is the point of this talisman?”

“This talisman is a ‘promised iris’. It will help grant you a sturdy relationship with someone under the condition that you keep your promise with me, and once you fulfill it, I can grant it. And your promise is what I mentioned just then. What is your answer?”

He strokes the talisman with his thumb, sliding it down on the iris. Jimin always thought that he was meant to be alone, but after experiencing those dreams, he doesn’t want them to be mere dreams. He wants to meet you in person. Even if you don’t want to be his partner, at least he wants to experience what it’s like to like someone rather than live for the rest of his life never knowing it.

“I’ll do it.”

------

The man still has Jimin by the scalp, but with little strength he still has left, Jimin grabs him by his forearms, making a poor attempt at pulling his hand off.

“...I’m not going to let you kill me this time…”

“What did you say?”

“I can’t be the one to make her cry again.”

You cried so much because Jimin suddenly left. When he agreed to do the deal, he was obsessed about wanting to be loved that he didn’t think for a second how you would feel in the aftermath. And his actions led to you feeling the consequences, and now realizing that your paranoia is because of him, Jimin won’t let you go through this again.

However, Jimin’s struggle is futile because the man tightens his grip around his head. It gets to the point where Jimin thinks his skull is going to crack at any given moment.

“Shut the fuck up, or I’ll throw you down the stairs aga-”

But the man stops abruptly after receiving a single blow to the head. He falls unconscious and collapses beside Jimin. The mixture of the blow to the head with his alcohol intake makes it easier for him to knock out. When he looks up to see who his savior is, it’s you. You’re holding the pink umbrella that Jimin accidentally dropped down the stairs, holding it like a baseball bat. Your knees are trembling uncontrollably. You must’ve hit him really hard because there’s a large dent on the umbrella, with the upper half curving in a 30-degree angle.

You drop the umbrella, your knees giving in and making you drop. You must’ve been so tense that you can’t move. Jimin is surprised that you came at the right time, but then again, it makes sense because this was roughly around the time when he died.

You embrace him, all the weight on your shoulders finally fleeting. You accidentally apply pressure on his broken ribs, but Jimin doesn’t want to spoil the mood; he’s just as happy to see you as you are.

“(Y/N), I’m okay…”

“Just...let me hold you,” you mumble under your breath. “I...want to make sure that you’re alive...that this isn’t a dream.”

But the warmth of his body should be enough for you to know that he’s not dead. Still, you’re too scared to celebrate early and say that you saved him. Jimin raises one arm to wrap around you, not using the arm that he thinks he might’ve broken.

“It’s real,” Jimin whispers, even being unable to believe it himself. “(Y/N), I’m sorry it took me so long.”

You pull back. “I don’t care about that! I should’ve brought the cake with me so that this wouldn’t have happened!”

“It’s not that. I’m sorry it took me so long to remember everything.”

Jimin caresses your cheek as you’re in complete shock.

“I told you. No matter what scenario we’re in, I’ll still manage to somehow fall in love with you,” but Jimin can’t help but blush a little.

You can’t stop yourself from sobbing even more. You never thought that Jimin would remember. But in all honesty, it wouldn’t have mattered if he never regained his memories. Just to know that he’s still breathing is enough for you.

“But you should’ve stopped me when I started using love songs to tell you how much you mean to me. That was so cheesy.”

Jimin attempts to smile, but his swollen cheek has grown too big that he’s only smiling on one side. However, you could care less about that.

Underneath your wet eyes, you let out a soft chuckle. “Really? But I like them.”

------

Soon after, the Jimin’s neighbor called the police and they came immediately. This was an open and shut case, as the man has a criminal record of domestic abuse and theft, so he was arrested on the spot. An ambulance came and took Jimin to the hospital while you stayed behind and was questioned by the police.

Besides his two broken ribs and needed a cast for his arm, Jimin suffered light injuries. While his face was covered in blood, none of the hits were fatal, and he’ll recover from them in no time. It looks like he’ll survive.

After the questioning, one policeman was kind enough to drive you to the hospital. You’ve been in Jimin’s room since then, staying by his side. At some point, Miles started visiting as well, introducing his bandmates to Jimin, even though he already knows them but pretends as if he doesn’t. Jimin has to share a room with three other patients, and he quickly became friends with them. Every day is always filled with life and being surrounded by people. Jimin can’t remember the last time he was this happy to be with this many people, and he can’t ask for a life better than this.

One late night while everyone in the room is asleep, with you in there as well, sleeping on the chair next to Jimin. The door opens, and in comes the elderly woman, the psychic. She tiptoes to you and Jimin, her heart softening at seeing how even in your sleep, you both look so happy.

On the nightstand next to Jimin’s bed is your bag. The psychic rummages through it and takes out the talisman she had given to you two.

“Since you two won’t be needing this anymore, I’ll gladly take it back,” she puts the talisman in her pocket and walks out the door. But before leaving, she looks at you two one last time. “Sweet dreams, (Y/N), Jimin.”

[End]

(A/N): Thank you to everyone who has read this! This was heavily inspired by the BL, Kimi no Yume o Mite Iru, and I highly recommend you all read it (though it is 18+). The songs that I mentioned in both the first and second part, I recommend listening to them too. If you have anything to say, then don’t be afraid to tell me anything~!

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