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#i DO like the story of the game. i think it could be a nice story. i just feel its being wasted because of me
kckt88 · 20 hours
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A Heartbeat Between Us IV
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Summary:
Y.N joins game night and Alicent discovers that she's going to have a grandchild, but not everyone is happy.
Warning(s): Angst, Drama, Swearing, Mild Violence, Fluff, Jealousy, Miscommunication, Smut, Oral Sex, Fingering, P in V, Allusions to other Sexual Encounters, Childhood Memories.
AEMOND x Y.N
Word Count: 5835
A.N - I used Zac Gabriel as the face claim for Daeron.
A.N - Most of the story is already written, as I start a new job on Saturday :-)
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Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon or Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used.
Comments, likes, and reblogs are very much appreciated, do not copy/post to other sights without my permission.
Tag List - @jasminecosmic99 @kaelatargaryen @yesterdayfeelings-blog @immyowndefender @0eessirk8 @killua2dot0 @msassenach @xcharlottemikaelsonx @moonnicole @toodlesxcuddles @mamawiggers1980 @minttea07 @nommingonfood @miaajaade
Aemond glanced between Aegon and Daeron, his brow furrowing slightly. “Could we do this another night?” he asked, trying to avoid any disruption to his plans with Y.N.
Plans which consisted of them snuggling up on the sofa and watching a film whilst enjoying a takeout and then him taking her to bed and devouring her sweet cunt until she screamed his name, only then would he fuck her nice and slow, making her come around his cock.
Before his brothers could respond, Y.N. spoke up. “No, it’s fine. You don’t have to change your plans because of me. I can go-” she said with a small smile.
Aemond cut her off quickly. “-No, you’re staying.”
Aegon, ever the cheerful instigator, immediately chimed in. “Hey, why doesn’t she join us? Could be fun.”
Y.N. hesitated. “If that’s okay with you guys-”
Daeron grinned. “The more, the merrier! Obviously, no drinking for you, though,” he teased, pointing to her belly with a wink.
Y.N. laughed and followed them to the table, where Aegon immediately started dealing the cards.
“Come on, Aemond, crack open the beers. I’m dying of thirst over here,” Aegon grumbled dramatically.
Rolling his eye, Aemond grabbed three beers, popping them open before passing them to his brothers.
He then handed Y.N. a carton of Capri Sun, and she cheered, “You remembered!”
Aemond blushed slightly. “I got a couple stashed in the fridge just in case after you said you were craving them. Oh, and a jar of pickles too.”
Aegon and Daeron immediately started laughing.
“Awww, aren’t you sweet,” Daeron teased.
“Shut up,” Aemond muttered, his cheeks still tinged with pink.
Aegon smirked, turning to Y.N. “You know how to play poker, right?”
“Of course,” she said confidently. “My grandfather taught me.”
They each settled in with their cards, the atmosphere light and playful.
After a few moments, Aegon glanced at Aemond with a mischievous grin. “So, when are you going to tell mother she’s going to have a grandchild?”
Aemond leaned back slightly in his chair, glancing at Y.N. “I was planning to tell her this weekend-if Y.N.’s okay with that.”
Y.N. nodded. “Yeah, it’s about time she knew she’s going to be a grandmother.”
Aemond looked relieved. “I’d like you to come with me when I tell her,” he added. “I know she’s met you before, but I think it would be better if you were with me.”
Before Y.N. could respond, Daeron muttered under his breath, “Just make sure Grandsire isn’t there.”
Aemond shot him a sharp look. “What did you say that for, you bloody moron?”
Y.N. raised a curious eyebrow. “Why?” she asked, sensing there was more to the story.
Aemond sighed, running a hand through his hair. “My grandsire isn’t exactly thrilled that my relationship with Alys is over. He’s worried it’ll mess up some business deals we have with Larys.”
“I thought Otto didn’t work for Targaryen Inc. anymore?” Y.N. asked, confused.
“He doesn’t. He was fired after Rhaenyra took over from our father,” Aemond explained. “But he thinks he can still run the company through me since I’m a partner.”
Y.N. snorted. “Sounds like someone has issues letting go.”
Aegon snickered. “Never a truer word spoken.”
“It’s a pain in the arse” muttered Aemond.
“Alright, alright, enough boring talk,” Aegon interrupted, clapping his hands. “What’s really important is what we’re having for dinner. I’m starving.”
Y.N. chuckled. “We were just about to order before you guys showed up.” She stood up with her cards still in hand, making sure no one peeked. “Aegon, what are you in the mood for?”
With a cheeky grin, Aegon replied, “Whatever you’re offering, darling.”
Aemond scowled, but Aegon ignored him and sauntered over to Y.N., leaning over to look at the menus with her.
As they scanned their options, Aemond’s eye never left them, watching his brother like a hawk.
Daeron noticed and nudged Aemond. “Chill out, bro. He’s just standing there.”
Aemond huffed. “Too close for my liking.”
“She’s pregnant with your baby. She’s not interested in Aegon,” Daeron reassured him, rolling his eyes.
Aemond hummed in agreement but still took a sip of his beer, his eye fixed on them until Y.N. and Aegon returned with a decision.
“Chinese,” Y.N. announced with a smile.
Daeron groaned. “We had Chinese last time we were here!”
Aegon shot back, “Yeah, but we didn’t get to finish it because Aemond kicked us out when Alys came over.”
Daeron sighed, rubbing his temples. “Alright, let’s just order. I’m starving too.”
Y.N. decided to write down everyone’s orders to keep it simple, and after about fifteen minutes, the Chinese food was successfully ordered.
Whilst they waited for the food they resumed their game and soon, Y.N. was laying her cards down on the table. “Royal flush.”
Aegon slammed his cards down in disbelief. “How the hell—?!”
Daeron burst out laughing, applauding her. “Impressive.”
Aemond grinned, proud and impressed. Aegon, not willing to admit defeat, demanded a rematch. “Another game! I’m not losing like that.”
Y.N. accepted the challenge, and as Daeron began dealing the cards, she stood up to get another drink.
On her way back, she leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to Aemond’s lips. He blushed, his brothers noticing and immediately nudging each other with smirks.
Aegon chuckled under his breath. “You two are sickeningly cute.”
Daeron snickered. “Yeah, keep it up, and we might just need to get a bucket.”
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The night was filled with laughter and light-hearted teasing, though it seemed Aegon was having the hardest time accepting defeat.
After losing yet another round of poker to Y.N., he threw his cards down dramatically, declaring, “You’re cheating! There’s no way you’re this good.”
Aemond rolled his eye, smirking. “Just because you’re terrible at poker doesn’t mean Y.N.’s cheating. If it wasn’t her, you’d be losing to me, and you know it.”
Aegon stuck his tongue out. “You lost to her too, you tool.”
“So what? At least I’m not throwing a tantrum over it.” Aemond’s tone was calm, but the grin on his face was clear provocation.
The Chinese food they had ordered arrived just in time to distract from the bickering, and it was quickly devoured. Aegon, true to form, kept trying to steal food off Y.N.’s plate.
“Try it again, and I’ll stab you with my fork,” Y.N. warned, her voice playful but with a hint of seriousness. “I don’t share food.”
Aegon pouted. “But I want one of your prawn toasts.”
“If you wanted prawn toast, you should’ve ordered your own,” Y.N. retorted, grinning at him as she guarded her plate.
Aegon huffed. “But you shared your onion bhajis with Aemond, and he didn’t order any!”
Y.N. raised an eyebrow, her hand resting protectively over her food. “He’s the father of my child. Special privileges.”
Aegon rolled his eyes dramatically but relented, going back to his own food with a pout, much to everyone’s amusement.
After dinner, Y.N. decided to sit out the last round of poker, even though Aemond protested. “Leave the dishes. You don’t have to do that.”
But Y.N. insisted, washing up the dishes and tossing the takeout cartons, while the others finished their game. By the time she was done, Aemond had emerged victorious, as expected, while Aegon sulked.
“You two are definitely in on this together,” Aegon grumbled. “I’m sure you’re plotting against me, conspiring with one another-”
Daeron shook his head, laughing. “It’s a game of poker Aegon, not Game of Thrones”
As the night drew to a close, Aemond glanced at the time. “It’s getting late. You two should head out.”
Aegon, never one to miss an opportunity for innuendo, smirked. “Oh, got something else planned, do we?”
Before Aemond could respond, Y.N. cut in with a teasing grin. “Yes, actually, we do. And no, Aegon, you can’t watch.”
Daeron burst into laughter while Aegon held his hands up in mock surrender. “Fine, fine. But we should do this again soon. Next time, we should invite Helaena.”
Y.N. smiled, nodding in agreement. “That sounds fun. I’d love that.”
After bidding Aegon and Daeron goodnight, much to Aemond’s annoyance, Aegon insisted on giving Y.N. a hug before leaving.
She humoured him, but as soon as the door clicked shut, Aemond’s patience snapped, and he was pulling her into a passionate kiss.
“You drive me crazy,” Aemond murmured against her lips, his voice low and husky.
“Good,” Y.N. whispered back, a smile curving on her lips as she pressed forward and claimed his lips in another kiss.
Aemond couldn’t help the small groan that escaped his lips as Y.N’s tongue slid against his.
Aemond slowly moved his hands down Y.N’s body before roughly grasping her ass and hauling her up against the door.
Y.N whimpered, gripping at Aemond’s shoulders as he slotted himself between her legs, his tongue still invading her mouth.
Aemond presses himself against the apex of Y.N’s thighs, and he growls like an animal when she reaches down and palms his hard cock over his jeans.
“Fuck-“ groans Aemond as he begins grinding his clothed cock against her.
“Someone’s eager” whispered Y.N as she flicked her tongue against the corner of Aemond’s mouth.
“Oh, you have no idea” quipped Aemond as she spun her off the door and carried her to his bed.
Soon their clothes are abandoned in a haphazard heap on the floor and Aemond was laid between Y.N open legs moving his fingers through her dripping folds as he expertly devoured her with his mouth, his nose bumping against her pearl as fucked her with his tongue.
Gods, she tastes incredible.
Aemond loved performing oral sex on Y.N she was delicious in a way he’d never tasted before.
“Fuck,” squeaks Y.N as she grasps at the back of Aemond’s head, her fingers digging into his hair, holding him in place.
“You’re quite sensitive. Are you going to come already?” asked Aemond smugly.
Aemond alternates between using his fingers and tongue to bring Y.N to her peak.
Y.N arches her back as she comes, Aemond gently sucks on her pearl as she rides out the euphoria of her peak.
“Is that you done baby, or do you want more?” asked Aemond playfully, his chin shining with her slick.
“M-More, please” gasps Y.N as Aemond reaches forward and presses a singular kiss to her pearl before he quickly wipes his chin with his hand.
Aemond smirks as he removes his boxers, his hard cock slapping up against his abdomen, the tip glistening with pre-cum.
Aemond takes himself in hand and guides his hard cock to Y.N entrance, pushing in slowly and pausing to give himself a moment.
Gods she was so wet and tight.
After pressing a gentle kiss to Y.N’s lips, Aemond pulls out slowly and slides back in, his pace gentle and steady.
“Oh-please Aemond-Harder-” whimpered Y.N.
Aemond lets out a pleased grunt and thrusts into Y.N harder, smiling as she lets out a yelp of surprise.
Soon he was moving inside her with a series of sharp hard thrusts, as much as he wanted to fuck her into the mattress, he didn’t want to harm the baby.
Y.N moaned desperately, as she moved her hips to meet his, attempting to allow his cock to reach deeper within her.
Aemond gets the hint, and quickly lifts Y.N’s legs over his shoulders, using the new angle to drive his cock a little deeper than before.
“Tell me how it feels-tell me how my cock feels” demands Aemond.
“It’s good, so good-yes-yes, right there”
Y.N praises sets something off inside Aemond as he continues to thrust into her, the headboard banging against the wall.
“Aemond, please, I’m close” whimpers Y.N.
Aemond moves a hand down to where the two of them are joined, and rubs Y.N’s pearl in quick circles, dragging her closer the edge of the precipice.
“I never want to leave this sweet pussy–fuck,” groans Aemond as he marks each of his words in tandem with a snap of his hips.
Y.N come with a loud, scream, her body shaking underneath Aemond’s as his thrusts grow sloppy.
“J-Just a little longer-fuck” groans Aemond as he thrusts into Y.N three more times before reaching his own peak, spilling rope after rope of seed inside her.
After a few moments, Aemond gently moves Y.N’s legs from his shoulders, his chest heaving with every breath he takes.
“I-I wasn’t too rough, was I?” asked Aemond.
“No. I-It was wonderful” exclaimed Y.N, her body shaking slightly.
Aemond smirks as he slowly removes his softened cock from her slick cunt, his singular eye fixated on the drops of seed that spill out.
He takes a finger to Y.N’s opening and pushes his seed back inside, delighting in her moan of surprise. He leans over to press a gentle kiss to her lips, before bringing his finger to his own mouth and sucking it clean.
Aemond laid down on the bed and pulled Y.N to him.
“Not tired, are you?” asked Aemond curiously as Y.N laid her head on his chest and began running her fingers through the sparse hair that graced his chest.
Y.N looked at him and smiled as she shook her head.
“Good, because I plan to fuck you so many times tonight that you cannot walk tomorrow”.
 “Promises, promises” replied Y.N.
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Y.N stood in front of her wardrobe; frustration etched on her face as she rummaged through the sea of clothes. Every outfit she tried on felt wrong, and with every rejected option, her anxiety about seeing Alicent only grew.
Aemond, sitting calmly on the edge of her bed, watched with quiet amusement, his eye following her frantic movements.
"You look beautiful in anything," he said, his voice soft, trying to ease her stress.
Y.N shot him a look of disbelief, tugging at the hem of a dress she had just discarded. “Of course you’d say that”.
With a playful roll of his eye, Aemond slid off the bed and approached her wardrobe. “Fine, I’ll help,” he muttered, thumbing through the hangers thoughtfully.
After a moment, he pulled out a blue chiffon lace midi dress, holding it up for her approval. “Here. Try this.”
Y.N eyed it for a moment before slipping it on. She checked herself in the mirror, smoothing the fabric over her figure.
After a few moments of contemplation, she nodded, satisfied. “You’ve got good taste,” she admitted, finishing her hair and makeup before stepping into a pair of heels.
She turned to him. “What do you think?”
Aemond’s gaze softened as he looked at her, admiration clear in his eye. “You look beautiful,” he said sincerely, stepping closer to press a gentle kiss to her lips.
With that, they headed out, climbing into his car for the thirty-minute drive to his mother’s.
The entire ride, Y.N’s nerves churned. She had been to the manor many times and had met Alicent before, but this time felt different.
She squeezed Aemond’s hand, seeking comfort, and he gave it a reassuring squeeze in return, sensing her unease.
When they arrived at the grand Targaryen manor, Y.N took a deep breath before stepping out of the car. Hand in hand, they entered the house, greeted by Alicent’s warm smile.
Aemond’s mood darkened slightly as he spotted his grandsire, Otto Hightower, seated in the drawing room.
“Y.N, would you like a drink?” Alicent offered kindly, and Y.N gratefully accepted a glass of orange juice. Aemond declined any alcohol, as he was driving.
As they sat down at the table, the air was initially filled with polite conversation. Otto, however, quickly turned to Aemond with a thin smile. “So, how are things at Targaryen Inc.? Any updates?”
Aemond’s jaw tightened slightly. “I’d prefer not to discuss work right now,” he said coolly, making it clear he wasn’t in the mood for business talk.
Alicent, sensing the tension, turned her attention to Y.N. “It’s been a while since I last saw you. How have you been? What have you been working on lately?”
Y.N relaxed slightly, smiling as she answered. “I’ve been busy finishing a piece for the local museum. I’m almost done with it.”
Before she could elaborate, Otto cut in. “And what is it you do again?” His tone was laced with thinly veiled condescension.
Y.N remained composed. “I’m a restoration artist. I work primarily at Howlett’s Bookstore, but I do commissions for other places as well.”
“A bookstore?” Otto sneered.
“Yes,” Y.N replied evenly. “I restore old books.”
Otto looked unimpressed, but before he could say more, Alicent interjected with a curious smile. “That sounds fascinating. Restoring old books must be quite the delicate process.”
“It is,” Y.N agreed, relaxing a bit more. “It can be time-consuming, depending on the book's condition, but it’s incredibly rewarding when I see the final result.”
Aemond leaned in, his voice filled with pride. “She’s incredibly talented. I’ve seen photos of her work—she can bring even the most damaged pieces back to life.”
Alicent’s smile widened. “Do you restore jewellery as well?”
“I do,” Y.N nodded.
Alicent stood from the table, disappearing briefly before returning with a small box. “This brooch belonged to my mother, Alyrie. It was passed down to her by her grandmother, but over the years, it’s become discoloured.” She opened the box to reveal the intricate brooch. “I was wondering if you could restore it.”
Y.N took the box gently, studying the brooch. “I can restore it, no problem.”
Alicent looked relieved. “Thank you. I’ll pay you, of course.”
Y.N shook her head with a smile. “No need, I’m happy to do it.”
At that moment, Y.N nudged Aemond gently in the ribs, urging him.
Aemond cleared his throat, glancing between his mother and Y.N before blurting out, “Y.N is pregnant.”
Alicent blinked, clearly surprised but processing the news quickly. “Are you two getting married?” she asked, her gaze shifting between them.
“No,” Aemond replied, “but we’re committed to raising the baby together.”
Otto, however, looked scandalized. “It’s unacceptable,” he snapped. “A child born out of wedlock—this is disgraceful.”
Aemond’s jaw clenched, his patience thinning. “This isn’t the dark ages, grandsire. My child will still have the Targaryen name.”
“It won’t be a true Targaryen,” Otto shot back coldly.
Aemond’s anger flared. “Why not? The baby will have my blood and my name. A piece of paper won’t change that.”
“How could you have been so careless?” Otto demanded, his eyes narrowing. “Or did she get pregnant on purpose?” His gaze flicked dismissively to Y.N., who gasped in shock.
Aemond stood abruptly, furious. “Y.N. is no gold digger. We spent the night together, and we didn’t use precautions. It’s as simple as that.”
The argument escalated, Otto criticizing Aemond for ending his relationship with Alys, claiming it would jeopardize business ties with Larys Strong. The tension in the room mounted until Alicent finally intervened.
“While I’m not thrilled about the two of you not getting married,” Alicent said calmly, “I’m happy to welcome my first grandchild.”
Otto, still fuming, spat, “It’s unacceptable.”
Aemond glared at his grandsire. “It’s not your life. It’s mine. And my mother’s approval is the only one I care about.”
Turning to Alicent, Aemond softened. “I’m sorry, Mother, but we won’t be staying for dinner.”
He took Y.N.’s hand, and led her out of the manor, his anger still simmering as they left Otto behind.
As they left the Targaryen manor, Y.N. felt a heavy silence settle between her and Aemond. The argument with Otto had rattled her more than she wanted to admit.
The tension, the judgment—it all weighed heavily on her. She stared out the window of the car, her mind racing.
"Aemond-" she began quietly, breaking the silence. Her voice was soft, unsure. "Can you just take me home?"
Aemond glanced at her, concern evident in his expression. "Y.N., are you alright?" He reached for her hand, but she gently pulled away.
"I just-I need to be alone," she said, her voice faltering. "Please."
Aemond hesitated, the hurt flashing briefly in his eye, but he respected her request. He nodded silently and drove toward her flat, his grip tightening on the steering wheel as he fought the urge to push her for more.
He could feel the emotional distance growing between them, and it made him uneasy.
When they arrived, Y.N. unclipped her seatbelt hastily. She paused for a moment, her hand resting on the door handle as if she wanted to say something, but the words never came.
Instead, she glanced at him with an apologetic expression. "Thank you for taking me home."
Before Aemond could reply, she slipped out of the car and hurried toward her building. Aemond watched her rush inside, his heart sinking as she disappeared from view.
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Aemond had spent the past week in a fog of frustration and anxiety, the silence from Y.N. gnawing at him like a wound that refused to heal.
His texts to her had gone unanswered, and every day without a reply made him question if he'd somehow lost her.
He considered going to her flat multiple times but ultimately decided against it, fearing that showing up unannounced might only push her further away.
Even his usual game night with Aegon and Daeron provided no relief—without Y.N. there and Helaena refusing to join, the nights were hollow.
His foul mood grew so unbearable that Aegon and Daeron eventually kicked him out of their flat, tired of his snapping and sourness.
The breaking point came when Aemond, still seething with anger at his grandsire, drove to his mother’s house to confront Otto.
The confrontation erupted into another fierce argument, with accusations flying until Aemond, overwhelmed with fury, punched a wall, splitting his knuckles open.
He hadn’t even felt the pain, only the burning rage that filled him. His mother, had gently cleaned and bandaged his hand afterwards, her touch soothing but her words even more so.
“I’m sorry for losing my temper,” Aemond muttered, his voice low and ashamed.
Alicent had looked at him with that patient, understanding gaze. “I understand. What your grandsire said was unacceptable”
“I-I just don’t know what to do mother” whispered Aemond.
“You need to tell Y.N how you feel."
Aemond shook his head, his voice raw with uncertainty. “I’m in love with her, mother. But I’m terrified. What if she doesn’t feel the same way?”
Alicent had smiled softly. “-I remember when Y.N first came here, Helaena had asked if she could bring a friend home from school-it wasn’t too long after you’d lost your eye, and you were worried what people would say about your scar-”
Aemond shuddered at the memory of being so scared and insecure, consistently hiding in his room, not wanting anyone to look at him.
“-It was Y.N who managed to get you out of your room” said Alicent softly.
Aemond remembered that day very well, he’d caught sight of Y.N in the gardens with Helaena.
The sound of her laughter and the mesmerized look on her face as a butterfly landed on her outstretched hand.
His sister had never brought a friend home before as everyone thought she was odd, and despite his insecurity, he found himself wanting to go outside.
He kept the left side of his face hidden as best he could, when Helaena introduced him to Y.N, but a sudden gust of wind had blown the hood from his head and exposed his scar to Y.N.
Aemond had rushed to cover his face, feeling absolutely mortified, but Y.N stopped him, she gently took his hand and told him not to hide, that his scar showed that he was brave.
“I was so grateful to her-” said Alicent smiling.
Aemond smiled back, of course Y.N became a regular visitor, having sleep overs with Helaena, and befriending Aegon and Daeron.
But his insecurity still loomed over him like a shadow and as he got older, he convinced himself that despite her gentle nature Y.N would never reciprocate his feelings and instead he pushed her away.
He was mean and unkind to her, but he rationalized his treatment of her due to the fact that she was so damn annoying, especially in their classes, hand in the air always eager to answer.
He simultaneously loved and hated that smug look she would get on her face when she bested him.
“-I always noticed that whenever she was here, your gaze would linger on her as if she was the only one in the room-” whispered Alicent.
“I was so horrible to her though-“ muttered Aemond.
“-Yes, you were, and I cursed your stupidity many times, for I could see how hopelessly in love with her you were-”
Aemond had leaned into his mother, placing his head on her shoulder, in a show of vulnerability.
“If anyone was going to have your child, I’m glad it’s Y.N but you should tell her how you feel, who knows, she could feel the same way-”
"I hope so," Aemond had whispered back.
Days later, as he worked out in his penthouse, trying to clear his mind, his phone buzzed with a message from Y.N. His heart leaped in his chest.
It was brief but enough to send his pulse racing: I’ve finished restoring your mother’s brooch. I’ll bring it by later.
Aemond had never showered so quickly in his life. He rushed to tidy the penthouse, making sure everything looked perfect before the knock on the door came.
When he opened it, there she was—standing there as beautiful as ever. His heart skipped a beat at the sight of her.
“Come in,” he said, his voice betraying how desperately he’d missed her.
Y.N. stepped inside, and there was an awkward tension between them, a mix of uncertainty and emotions that had built up over the week. She opened her bag and pulled out a small box, handing it to him.
“I hope she likes it,” she said quietly.
Aemond opened the box carefully, and his breath hitched. The brooch, once dull and discoloured, was now vibrant and radiant, as if it had just been made.
It was stunning. His mother would love it.
“This is incredible,” he whispered, placing the box down. “Thank you. My mother will be overjoyed.”
Y.N. nodded, her eyes flickering with emotion. Aemond noticed her hesitation and stepped closer, his worry mounting.
“I texted you,” he said softly, trying to keep his voice steady. “I was worried. I didn’t want to show up unannounced and make things worse, but—”
“I’m sorry,” Y.N. interrupted, her voice trembling. “I just needed time to think.”
Aemond felt a pang of dread settle in his chest. His mind raced, preparing for the worst. Was she about to break things off?
Which in hindsight was odd as they weren’t officially dating. His heart pounded as he watched her eyes well with tears, bracing himself for the words he was terrified of hearing.
“W-What happened with your grandsire really upset me-,” she whispered, tears spilling down her cheeks. “-b-but it was wrong of me to shut you out, it wasn’t your fault a-and I’ve really missed you this week-”
Aemond moved forward and pulled her in his arms, kissing her with a passion that made the world around them disappear.
“I missed you too” he breathed against her lips, kissing her again, happy to have her in his arms once more.
“What happened to your hand?”
“Oh-I had an argument with my grandsire and lost my temper” replied Aemond.
“Did you hit him?”
“No-I took my frustration out on a wall” said Aemond his breath hitching as Y.N took his bandaged hand and placed a kiss on the knuckles.
“M-My grandfather used to call it a healing kiss,” said Y.N  softly.
Their gazes locked and Aemond could feel his stomach churning, as Y.N leaned closer to him and kissed him, her hands sliding into his long hair.
“Can I?”
Aemond nodded and sighed as he felt her slowly unclasp his eyepatch, her thumb caressing his scarred cheek.
“Y.N-” muttered Aemond.
“You’ve always been beautiful” breathed Y.N as her lips met his.
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The next morning, as they laid in bed together, Aemond gently ran his hand over her stomach, smiling at the slight swell he could feel.
The thought of their baby growing there filled him with a sense of awe and excitement. They had another appointment with the midwives soon, and he was already counting down the days.
He wondered when they could start going baby shopping, His spare room had already been cleared out, a blank canvas ready to be transformed into a nursery for their little one.
He imagined what it might look like—crib, toys, soft colours—his heart warming at the thought.
His phone buzzed on the bedside table, and a quick glance told him he was late for work. But he didn’t care. He wasn’t leaving the warmth of this bed, not today.
A rare day off was in order; he wanted to savour every moment with Y.N., who was still fast asleep beside him.
As he lay there, his thoughts wandered. When was the right time to tell her that he was in love with her? And more importantly did she feel the same?
Aemond knew that, for him, the feelings had always been there, lurking beneath the surface. Y.N. had gotten under his skin in a way no one ever had.
With a small smile, he closed his eye again, intending to sleep a little longer, but when he woke up later, the bed beside him was empty.
His heart skipped a beat, and he called her name. No answer. Getting out of bed, he pulled on a pair of boxers and sighed in relief when he found her in the kitchen, pacing as she talked on the phone.
She was wearing one of his shirts, and the sight of her in it drove him mad in the best way possible.
The top buttons were undone, offering a teasing glimpse of her breasts, and the hem barely grazed her bum, leaving him aching with desire.
How was it possible to want someone this much?
His thoughts were interrupted when she giggled, and he caught her saying Aegon’s name.
Aemond frowned, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorway, waiting for her to finish.
Why was she talking to his brother? After a few more moments, Y.N. hung up the phone, turning around to see Aemond glaring at her.
“Why were you on the phone with my brother?” Aemond demanded, the irritation clear in his voice.
Y.N. raised an eyebrow, her expression amused. “Because he’s also my friend.”
“Do you talk to him often?” Aemond’s question was laced with suspicion.
Y.N. shrugged casually. “We usually text every so often. He called because he was going to McDonald's and offered to bring me one at work, but I told him I was here with you-”
Aemond huffed in annoyance, his lips pressing into a pout. Y.N. grinned at him.
“You’re cute when you pout,” she teased.
“I do not pout,” Aemond muttered, his scowl deepening.
Y.N. laughed, stepping closer and rising onto her toes to press a kiss to his nose. “Yes, you do. You’re doing it now.”
He tried to maintain his scowl, but her teasing was infectious.
As Y.N. brushed past him on her way to the bathroom, she glanced over her shoulder with a playful smile, as she began to unbutton the shirt she wore.
“I’m off to take a shower. Care to join me?” said Y.N as she removed the shirt and threw it at him.
At the sight of her naked body, Aemond’s sour mood vanished in an instant, a smirk spreading across his face.
“Oh, hell yes-” exclaimed Aemond as he followed her eagerly, his thoughts now consumed by the love and desire that only she could ignite in him.
And gods be good, fucking Y.N in the shower as the hot water cascaded over them, was incredible, and most definitely the perfect way to start the day.
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Y.N. lay back on the midwife’s table, her heart fluttering with a mixture of excitement and nerves. Aemond sat beside her, his hand resting protectively over hers as the midwife pressed the doppler against her small but growing bump.
A few seconds passed in silence before the sound of the baby’s heartbeat filled the room, a rapid and steady rhythm that echoed like the most beautiful music. Y.N. smiled softly, her eyes misting with emotion as she turned to look at Aemond.
"I can't believe that’s our baby," Aemond whispered, his excitement barely contained.
The midwife smiled as she moved on to measure Y.N.’s bump, jotting down notes as she continued the checkup. She tested Y.N.'s urine, reassuring them both that everything was progressing beautifully.
“The baby’s growing nicely, but your iron levels are a bit low,” the midwife added. “Try to eat more iron-rich foods, and at your next appointment, we’ll test your blood again. If your levels are still low, we’ll prescribe some iron tablets.”
Y.N. nodded, making a mental note as they booked their next appointment for the 20-week scan.
As they were leaving, they began discussing whether they should find out the gender of the baby.
"I don’t really want to know," Y.N. admitted, glancing at Aemond. "As long as the baby’s healthy, that’s all that matters to me."
Aemond, however, seemed to have a different opinion. “I’d like to know,” he said thoughtfully. “I want to make a start on the nursery, get everything ready.”
Y.N. came to an abrupt stop in the hallway, her eyes widening as his words sank in. “Wait-what did you just say?” she asked.
Aemond blinked, momentarily unsure if he’d said something wrong. “I, uh, cleaned out one of my spare rooms-I was thinking of turning it into a nursery.”
For a moment, Y.N. just stared at him, and Aemond’s heart skipped a beat, wondering if he’d overstepped. But then, a wide smile broke across her face, and she reached up to kiss him softly.
“I love that,” she whispered against his lips.
“I just want everything to be perfect for our baby,” Aemond said, his relief evident in his voice.
Y.N. pulled back, her eyes gleaming with an idea. “What if-you find out the gender, and you do the nursery? Then, when it’s finished, you can surprise me with a sort of gender reveal.”
Aemond’s face lit up at the suggestion, a boyish excitement taking over. “That’s brilliant. I love it. Thank you for trusting me with that.”
Y.N. smiled, resting her hand on her stomach. “It’s your baby, too.”
With a renewed sense of joy, Aemond suggested, “Let’s go shopping. We can make a list of everything we need for the nursery.”
Y.N. nodded, her heart swelling with love and excitement. Together, they walked out of the clinic, ready to embrace this next chapter in their journey.
TBC
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greenerteacups · 3 days
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Hi GT,
Forgive me if this is a stupid question, but I absolutely love the recs you've given (you've introduced me to tomione, and I love it!) and I was wondering if it's possible to give you some recs in return? There are some books and fics that definitely have dramione / got vibes, and I was wondering if I could share them with you!
So glad you've enjoyed them! Feel free to rec me anything you want. I've read most of the classic recs in terms of fic and adjacent content (Cruel Prince et al), but I'll try anything that's well-written. My tastes run towards weird and/or audaciously creative stuff, and I can forgive a lot of weaknesses in plot on the grounds of (1) ambition or (2) character work. My turnoffs are instalove, protagonists who can't fail, and most Y/A (I'm not a hater, I swear, I just need characters who can say "fuck" when their leg gets chopped off.)
I'm also a fan of weird and fucked-up dynamics.(Wuthering Heights was my favorite book for a while, and as a teenager I wrote an AU in which the book ends on a long sex scene where Heathcliff fucks Cathy's ghost and then immediately gets murdered by Catherine 2.) Obviously, I am very normal.
#greenteacup asks#my beef with Y/A is mostly expressed in a dissonance between tone and content#LOVE the content. dystopia fantasy horror sex and blood — awesome. but question. why are they all saying 'darn'?#like in the vampire diaries where they'll watch people get eaten and then 2 episodes later be like 'omg SCHOOL DANCE'#(EDIT: actually in fairness. on the vampire diaries. it was mostly just caroline that did that. unfair example my apologies)#& i distinguish this critique from a common bitch-and-moan complaint about tv shows being interested in 'girly' things#like relationships and social standing. that is not my complaint. that shit is delicious. i will chomp that shit for days#my issue is that when the stakes oscillate wildly from episode to episode and i can't tell what the main thing is#like sorry. a story with murder in it is always going to be about murder. you can't make it not about murder#unfortunately! many have tried.#and in general i have difficulty reading about teenagers bc—#(she says having written 600k words about them OKAY I KNOW. i contain multitudes.)#because they're either mini-adults (preferred flavor. jude in the cruel prince nails this) or like leetol babies to me#and unless it's something like the hunger games where the Leetol Baby thing is part of the story#i'm like. hang on. you're 12 what are you doing here#percy jackson was hard for me to re-read as an adult for this reason#which is why they're enjoyable for teenagers! because as a teenager you DO feel like an adult#and you like reading books that treat you like one! nothing wrong with that! healthy even!#only then you get past the teenage years (mashallah) and you get stuff like twilight#where of COURSE bella doesn't think twice about 117 year old man falling in love with her#because he looks like a rich mysterious 17-year-old hottie#but you reread it later and it's like um well. that. could be explored a little more maybe.#i'm not even necessarily opposed to it. candidly. still team edward. i just think the dynamic should be more fucked up and juicy.#which Y/A authors are often reluctant to do. like. COWARDS! face the nasty consequences of your narrative decisions!#anyhow. you didn't ask for any of this. please give me your recs lovely person you seem very nice.
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aristenfromwarsaw · 3 days
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Story of Aristen Rosegrove
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Inspired by @judasiskariot who created a full description of her Tav - Saulus, I decided to create something similar to Aristen with screenshots to make the story more "credible". 💜.
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Quick Facts:
Origin: Child of Bhaal Race: High Elf. Class: Sorcery ~ Storm Sorcery. Gender: Female. Pronouns: She/Her. Sexsuality: Heterosexsual. Height: 165 cm. Scent/Perfume: "Storm Rose" - full description of the perfume by @bhaal-battle-beer-bard . Favorite color: blue. Favorite flower: rose. Favorite season: spring, she loves when everything comes to life. Favorite animal: cat.
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Family: She was born directly from Bhaal. Her stepfamily:
Mother ~ Renera Oakdale-Rosegrove:
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Father ~ Detre Rosegrove:
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Younger sister ~ Fiona Rosegrove:
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Grandmother ~ Aubriana Rosegrove:
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Personality:
~ Redeemed Dark Urge ~ Aristen is very nice and always tries to be very empathic and looks for something more in people than others. ~ Ari is very open to the world and new experiences. ~ She has a great sense of humor. ~ Aristen is very devoted to the people she loves. ~ As a child, she grew up in an elven village, so she appreciates nature very much. ~ Ari has a lot of knowledge about the world. ~ She can be bold and sassy sometimes. ~ Aristen is a bit naive when it comes to love matters. ~ She is strongly guided by feelings and emotions. ~ Ari often hides her emotions, only opens up to the closest people. ~ When she gets angry, she has no control over her magic. ~ Loves cats, likes how mysterious and beautiful these animals can be. ~ Hates her true origin and she constantly worries and thinks about that what she did when she was under Bhaal's influence. She hates herself for being Bhaalspawn and considers herself a monster. She tries to atone for all her sins by helping others. The person she hates the most in the world is herself. ~ Sometimes Aristen has bad days, she cries, thinks she shouldn't have been born and thinks she's a bad seed because of her past.
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Early years of life:
Aristen was born directly from the God of Murder. When father created her, he wanted her not to be an ordinary Bhaalspawn. She was supposed to be an immortal, eternally young demigod. Her appearance was supposed to be the opposite of her destiny. Beautiful and delicate beauty, bright blue-turquoise eyes, light blonde hair. Her look was supposed to attract and inspire trust. Could an elf who looked like an innocent angel be a bloody murderer? And so it happened - Aristen was born, for now as a storm sorcery elven baby. Bhaal wanted her to be very high in the hierarchy when she grew up, but the attack on the temple by unknown perpetrators thwarted these plans. During the raid, an elven infant was found with a white, decorative scarf with the word "Aristen"  written in blood on it.
The child was placed in the elves’ village in the stepfamily of wood elves called Rosegrove. Only her mother, father and grandmother knew that she might be Bhaal's child and they decided that they will do their best to save Aristen from her destiny. Aristen developed her magical skills and she did not show any murderous symptoms, on the contrary, she showed great empathy and kindness. Ari had a great relationship with her stepfamily and was much-loved in the village. However, everything changed when she was 25. A very handsome and gallant half-elf Elwyn came to their village. Aristen very quickly fell in love with him - she thought it was mutual.
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Despite the huge protest of her adoptive family, she went with her lover to Baldur's Gate. When the pair reached the city, it turned out that Elwyn was just a mercenary hired by the Bhaal's cult and his only task was to bring Aristen to the temple of the God of Murder. And so Aristen, who was betrayed by her beloved one lost control of herself, became a bloodthirsty killing machine and a puppet of her real father.
A new beginning (in-game events):
Being a Bhaal's doll could have lasted for ages if not a certain incident. One day Aristen was kidnapped by a Mind Flayer's ship. She was infected with their tadpole and lost her memory. Luckily for her, there was a plane crash, which she miraculously survived and managed to escape. Now she had a new goal - to get rid of the tadpole and find out who she is. During her journey she learned the truth about her murderous origins. But she wasn't alone in this. Aristen met some loyal friends: Gale (a human wizard who was harmed by the goddess of magic, Mystra), Karlach (tiefling who, like Ari, was betrayed by the person she trusted), Lae'zel (githyanki who was deceived by her queen), Shadowheart (a priestess of Shar who rejected her goddess), Wyll (human Warlock who sacrificed a lot to save others), Halsin (an elf druid who likes to carve ducks from wood), Jaheira (half elf and High Harper) and Minsc (Jaheira's friend who considers his hamster to be his mentor). And even though everyone supported her, Aristen felt that they didn't fully understand her, they don't know what it means to be someone's puppet. Except for one person who had similar sins as her. A men who has been a plaything for the powerful vampire for over 200 years. That toy was Astarion, high elf, vampire spawn. At first, Aristen had mixed feelings towards him, but later she realized that they were two of a kind. He was the only one who truly understood her dark urge and he truly was not afraid of her. They fell in love with each other.
One night the urge to kill become strong and Aristen had mighty desire to kill Astarion. Resisting her whisperings, she decided to do everything to save him. Aristen woke him up and asked him to tie her up. She felt that after such an incident the vampire would break up with her. Who would want a partner who could kill you in the middle of the night ? But no, Astarion didn't break up with her, he was with her all night, watching over her. He wasn't even mad at her. He didn't see her as a monster, but only as a normal person who had been wronged by fate - she saw him the same way. Thanks to Astarion, everything became easier and impossible things became possible.
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While looking for salvation for herself and her companions, it turned out that she was the one who came up with the whole idea of ​​culting the Absolute. This broke her, she felt that her friends blame her for this whole situation. Only one person thanked her - Astarion. Thanks to all this confusion, he separated himself from his master Cazador and had free will. Aristen then believed that they were meant to be together, this strange chain of events was not caused by chance. There must have been some higher powers involved here. She also decided that she had to fix everything - destroy the cult of the Absolute and try to free herself from her murderous father. And so it happened - the cult was destroyed and Aristen, with the help of the god Jergal, cuts herself off from Bhaal and the dark urge. The tadpoles in the heads disappeared, she, her friends and the Baldur's Gate were safe. Aristen with her companions even killed Cazador, so Astarion no longer had to fear his master. Aristen and her lover began to live on their own terms.
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Post-game events:
After defeating Nestor's Brain Aristen started to help rebuild Baldur's Gate - unfortunately - the city was badly damaged. In return, the city authorities gave her and Astarion a small apartment in the Lower City. This made her very happy, she could finally experience a normal life. She also began searching for information about artifacts that would help protect Astarion from the sun - this became her main goal. The news that she and her friends had saved Baldur's Gate quickly spread beyond the city. And so one day a wood elf knocked on her apartment. He seemed familiar to her, but she didn't know where she knew him from. He knew her name and seemed to know her very well. He gave her a Noblestalk potion and suggested that she drink it and it would help her remember some things from her past. The potion could have been poison and this elf could have had evil intentions. But Aristen felt that he was someone very important to her and agreed to drink the medicine. She regained partial memories - both bad and good. Suddenly she remembered where she grew up and her stepfamily. She realized that the elf who visited her is her stepfather.
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She agreed to go with him to the village where she grew up. And together with Astarion they set out on a new journey. After reaching the village, everyone was very happy for her return. She was afraid that they would treat her like a monster, like a leper. But no, she was surrounded by care and love. To make Aristen remember all earlier life, she was subjected to a special trance made by her grandmother. After that she remembered everything, the funny situations with her sister, making flower wreaths with her mother, walks in the forest with her father and practicing magic with her grandmother.
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She also remembered the man who contributed to all her tragedy - Elwyn. She remembered how he feigned love for her and he did it all of his own free will for financial gain. She hated this man in few seconds.
Aristen and Astarion stayed in the village for a while and moved on to find a way to protect Astarion from the sun. They also had a new companion, Fiona (Aristen's younger sister) who wanted to see some of the world. To have money for the trip, the three of them took various jobs. Sometimes they were mercenaries, sometimes they were doing small jobs or hunting bandits. Fiona also performed in inns, as she was a bard.
After a long time and reading dozens of old books and scrolls, Aristen, in an old, forgotten temple in the middle of nowhere, found an enchanted pendant that allowed Astarion to enjoy the sun again after many years. However, all three of them continued their traveling lifestyle.
One night Aristen and Astarion were lying on the grass and watching the stars. Then Ari suggested to her beloved one that they maybe return permanently to Baldur's Gate and start a simple, city life. He agreed and asked if she would become his wife. Aristen was surprised, despite spending so many years by Astarion's side, she was afraid that one day he would leave her. She still considered herself a monster, even though she had cut herself off from her father many years ago. Aristen was always afraid that she would somehow become a bloodthirsty murderer again. And Astarion could have almost any woman - she had seen more than once how lustfully ladies looked at him. But he chose her and wants to be with her forever.
The wedding took place in her native village. Her entire family and friends celebrated one of the most beautiful days of her life.
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After their honeymoon, they returned permanently to Baldur's Gate. Fiona also settled in the city, where she began to develop her bardic career. Astarion and Aristen continued to work as a mercenary and as the bandit hunters in the city and surrounding areas. Over time, Astarion founded his own tailor shop (yes, I always saw him as a tailor :D).
What the future will bring for them? Who knows, after all, they have eternity ahead of them...
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P.S. now her name is Aristen Rosegrove-Ancunín <3.
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sopuu · 2 days
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Hello tumblr user sopuu. Is there anything in mcsm series that you would change? Multiple things? If so, what?
under cut coz it’s long whoops,, tldr i wish the characters were more involved and fleshed out, both in backstories and their arcs bc there’s so much potential!! the groundwork is there!! but ig now it’s up to us to fill in the gaps 💪
hmm well most of my gripes with the game are mostly in character writing— like how some character arcs could be more consistent with the message the narrative is trying to give (ahem. petra)
there’s also some who are just tossed aside or are barely given arcs themselves. i’m mainly talking about olivia and axel here but lukas as well, bc a lot of the times he’s just kinda there to occasionally give a bit of dialogue or be the punching bag of the story— i mean just look at how many times he can (almost) die lmao. he doesn’t get to complain a lot despite what he goes through, and while i get he’s the type to bottle things up i feel like the narrative is too scared to let him get mad and have Emotions bc they want so badly to paint the picture of “fan-favourite nice guy pretty boy” and never deviate from it.
ig what i’m trying to say is characters in a story should feel like they’re actually involved in the world and in the narrative rather than be a decoration, no matter if they’re part of the main cast or just a simple supporting character. i just want more lukas pleas,,,
oh and other thing! i wish there was more backstory. ik dropping only small hints and nothing more is a good tactic to get the audience to theorise n stuff but i feel like there’s a little too little. like the warden, cassie, even the admins— they drop a few important lines of backstory and then it’s never brought up again... i’d love for them to have made side story episodes that are shorter but focus on one or a few characters just doing some slice of life-y things or to get a taste of the other storylines going on during the main one (like lukas’ rebellion era) just to expand on them more.
and yeah ig that’s all? i probably have more to say but can’t think of it rn. despite the criticism tho i still think it’s a fun game! otherwise i wouldn’t be here lol. just as it has it’s pros it also has it’s cons yknow
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blurbfics · 2 days
Text
There'd Better Be a Mirrorball | Azriel x OFC [part four]
Summary: Time skip. Cassian decides Eowyn could benefit from a little extra training. a.k.a., let the slow-burn begin
Word Count: 3k
Warnings: swearing, sexual implications, male/female sparring, shy!Azriel, use of the word "ginger" to refer to Eris
Minors, do not interact.
a/n: thank you so much for accompanying me in this journey! let's figure out where this story is headed together, shall we?
part one -- part two -- part three
"I just kept hoping, I just kept hoping
the way would become clear.
I spent all this time
tryna play nice and fight my way here.
See, I've been having me a real hard time
but it feels so nice to know I'm gonna be alright."
Alabama Shakes, This Feeling
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CASSIAN POV
He knew, from the moment he woke up, that today would be a good day.
Knew it when he woke up with his mate’s lips wrapped around his cock, knelt with her ass up from between his legs as she looked up at him, her gray eyes lit with knowing mischief as she roused him in his second favorite way of waking up (second only to his gaining of consciousness from between her thighs, a game they liked to play– how long until Cassian realizes he’s being suffocated by his mate’s pussy?)
Knew it when he went down to breakfast, to find his usual porridge, the gruel made better when his mate added those tiny dashes of cinnamon and allspice she’d been obsessing over since Eowyn began to introduce a myriad of spices she assured didn’t carry empty calories and made everything taste better.
But getting punched in the face? That solidified his assessment for the day.
The sound of bones hitting flesh was not an uncommon sound in the training ring. After all, that was what they were there to do. But the sound of Eowyn’s small but fierce fist connecting with the side of his jaw echoed through the ring with such a thunderous smack that everyone stopped what they were doing and focused only on them.
When he saw Eowyn’s wide, almost fearful eyes, the only part of her face revealed from her coverings, the only thing he could do was grin in reply. “Think you can do that again?” He challenged, moving his jaw side to side to relieve the familiar ache.
Instantly, the fear disappeared as she remembered that this was what they were here for and she had done absolutely nothing wrong.
It had been a few months since the young priestess had joined their little group of Warrior Priestesses, as he liked to call them. Although he had to admit he was rather partial to his mate and her friends, Eowyn had been quick to sneak her way into his limited list of favorite people. The girl was strong, both in character and when it came to the constant drilling they did. She was determined and always hyper-focused, never hesitating to repeat a motion or new move again and again until she got it right— did so, with little to no complaint, as well.
She was funny in a strange way, sharing that dry wit that he always came to associate with his mate, one of the reasons he believed the girls got along so well. And she was incredibly smart. He had no need to see her septganiums to know that, she simply oozed a certain sense of knowing. One had only to take a look at her deep dark eyes (in the rare and far between occasions she didn’t cover her entire head, that is) to see that shrewdness in her eye, as if she was in on a joke with the world at everyone else’s expense.
But most of all, she was fast.
The first time he’d seen her and Azriel go at it during their hand-to-hand combat sessions (as she was the odd-fae out when the females paired off to spar), he hadn’t hesitated to insert himself, practically trembling with excitement as he proposed a trade with his brother. Azriel could train with the three Valkyries, as they were honing in their sword-fighting and everyone knew that swordplay was Az’s area of expertise, while Cassian gave Wynnie a whirl, he had said, winking at the priestess whose only reply was to jut out a hip and rest a hand on it in an endearingly sassy way.
He hadn’t missed the way his brother’s jaw clenched in annoyance despite his otherwise unmoved face, as he merely nodded once, stilted, and left them to spar. He also hadn’t missed the fact that he could often feel his brother’s penetrating gaze on them whenever Cass had to physically adjust Eowyn’s elbows or whenever he landed a slightly-too-hard blow upon the young priestess (who actually took the jabs with much more grace and sportsmanship than others he knew— I’m looking at you, Rhys— he called out into the open void of his head in case the High Lord was eavesdropping).
But today of all days, Eowyn’s training had paid off. Months of hard training and half-taunting her had culminated into the perfect moment where she had landed a concise and heavy blow to his jaw, in a manner much too fast and skilled for him to catch immediately.
He had never been more proud of her.
Surprise gone, she smirked at him from under her covering, eyes glinting with mirth, “I’m about to drop you like a sack of potatoes.”
Grinning back, he got in position, wings ruffling slightly and beckoned her to try.
Although no one had the remotest intention of allowing any of the Valkyries near the upcoming Blood Rite, Cassian and Azriel had decided that the obstacle course from the previous year had been an invigorating and perfect team-building success.
The Valkyries, both the new and the slightly more experienced, continued their tradition at the end of each training session to attempt to cut the ribbon, not so much as the true Valkyrie rite of passage, but out of respect and tradition for their predecessors. The obstacle course had been something that was itching at Cassian’s brain again and he was looking forward to seeing what this batch of Warrior Priestesses could do.
Thus, he had dragged Azriel over to the kitchen table that same night to begin to brainstorm possible courses for the girls that didn’t overlap with what they had done before. Thankfully his brother was an endless pit of ideas, some more fatal that others, but all so concise that Cassian knew Azriel had been planning this for much longer than he thought.
Yawning behind his mug, Cassian inspected his brother before taking a sip from his lavender and chamomile tea, yet another addition to his routine influenced by Eowyn. The reminder of the young female brought a sudden idea to his mind.
“What do you think of Eowyn?” He asked his brother casually, trying to remember if he’d ever seen the pair interact beyond the basics of training.
Azriel, to his credit, didn’t choke on his own tea, exactly, but Cassian— not the most observant by nature but also not an idiot— noticed the way his brother seemed to tense, his breathing halting before painstakingly exhaling out the smallest hint of a shudder, his eyes suddenly fixed on the fruit at the center of the table.
“What… do you mean?” Azriel asked slowly.
Cassian chuckled lightly, a little confused as he looked at his brother in a way to say what do you think I mean? Just exactly what I asked.
“She punched me in the face today,” Cassian stated obviously, as if that hadn’t been the talk echoing through the mountain all day long. His brother looked up at him and blinked, face blank. 
Cassian took that as encouragement to continue, although he found himself slightly concerned at the fact that he had to spell it out for him. “She’s skilled. And she works hard, wants to work hard,” he emphasized. “I mean she hasn’t said anything to me, but I think some extra training would do her good.”
“You want her to train more?” His brother seemed to gather his composure, and although his strange behavior sparked a little tendril of interest in Cassian, he let it go for the moment.
“I want you to train her more,” Cassian corrected, placing his clasped hands on the table in a manner he’d seen Rhys do one too many times.
“Why don’t you do it?” Azriel bristled.
“Because I have courier duties with what’s-his-ginger-face.”
“And you assume I have nothing better to do with my time? Weren’t you assigned that job specifically because I was too swamped with work?”
“But all that shit with Briallyn is over and done with, and we haven’t heard a peep or anything related to Koschei in months,” he took another sip of his tea, making a mental note to send Eowyn some flowers or something. He’d quickly gotten addicted to his night tea, almost as much as the fancy roasted beans she liked to grind together and brew for him and the other girls whenever Nesta had them over for lunch. “That is, unless you want to take back your place and deal with that pompous asshole?”
Cassian thought about it. “Actually, that does sound better.”
“No,” Azriel spoke with such finality that Cassian could only stare at him. Azriel cleared his throat, “you know I can’t stand that prick.” He looked away and sighed, “alright, I’ll train her.”
“If she even wants to,” Cassian chuckled. “I know you don’t stay here as much as you used to, but you should consider coming back here if she agrees. And don’t start with that ‘I don’t want to intrude’ bullshit. Wynnie hangs around here all the time and we barely even see her.”
“That’s because she’s always in the greenhouse.”
“And how would you know that?” Cassian couldn’t help but prod, disregarding his earlier decision to leave things alone. Azriel only motioned to his shadows, eyebrow raised. Cassian continued, although with no small amount of doubt at his brother’s nonchalance. “You know, it’s actually been pretty nice having her around. Granted, she’s always talking to herself, but she’s got good taste,” he brought the tea cup up in mock salute.
“You don’t have to convince me, I already agreed to train her” Azriel rolled his eyes.
But there was more there. Cassian knew his brother, knew him better than anyone other than Rhys, who could quite literally enter his mind, and he knew there was something there, something simmering under the surface.
He only hoped no one got burned in the process.
“Alright, alright,” he raised his hands in surrender, “we’ll ask her tomorrow then.”
As he settled down for bed after taking a long and quite enlightening bubbly bath with his mate, he listened as she shared the details of her day with him. Nesta’s back was to him as she sat on the bed, hands expertly plaiting her hair into a long loose braid as she recounted her day, asking him about his own as they had come to do as part of their nightly routine since they solidified their mating bond.
He shrugged as he told his wife about his day, tactfully avoiding his plan to reconstruct the obstacle courses that she and the priestesses hated so much, but recounted everything else, including his idea to have Azriel train Wynnie.
He noticed, as he noticed every fluttering eyelash and breath his mate so much as took, the way she tensed up slightly, back still to him before she swung her finished braid over her shoulder and settled into her side of the bed, eyebrow raised questioningly at him.
“What?” He asked immediately, “you don’t think it’s a good idea?”
“I think it’s going to complicate things, that’s for sure.”
“What do you mean?” He frowned, “has she complained to you? Am I being too hard on her?” He asked, suddenly thinking back to his interactions with Eowyn and trying to decipher if she ever expressed any discomfort or displeasure by the training. But damn, it was so hard to tell without being able to see her face properly.
“No, it’s not that,” his mate assured, immediately, knowing her mate well enough to know he’d spiral into a hole and start overthinking his friendship with all the priestesses while he was at it. “It’s just that..” she trailed off slightly, gray eyes turning up to think about her words, “you know… Gwyn hasn’t spoken a word to Azriel since you let it slip that he hated the dagger she gave him-“
“I apologized for that!”
“-yes, but she hasn’t spoken to him for two months. And Azriel has barely even noticed,” she huffed. “But do you know who Az can’t seem to take his eyes off?”
He knew this. Of course, he knew this. He had felt Az’s eyes on them on more than one occasion, and he knew well that his brother seemed to have a thing for unattainable and uninterested females.
He only frowned, not needing to answer.
“And Gwyn has noticed. Of course she’s noticed, she watches him like a hawk.”
Cassian settled into bed, pulling his mate into his chest. “You think there’s something going on between Az and Wynnie?” he mumbled to her.
“No,” Nesta said immediately, settling further into the spot between his shoulder and neck that she’d claimed as her own. “Wynnie wouldn’t do that to Gwyn.”
Cassian hummed, mind turning before coming to a decision. “But we can’t meddle in their business, Nes. I think Eowyn would really benefit from more training and I can’t do it myself, otherwise I would.”
“I know,” his mate sighed sleepily, “I’m just saying it’s going to be a proper mess.”
After training, a session no less grueling than the rest, but not quite as backbreaking as the obstacle courses they were going to face in the next few months, he called Wynnie over after her daily attempt at cutting the ribbon.
The practice had become a staple in their daily training, and every day the priestesses would stand before the ribbon, swords raised in their preferred manner of combat and would slice the swords down with precision, if not quite the necessary finesse required to cut the ribbon clean off.
“I know, I know, ‘it’s all in the wrist,’” she huffed when she approached them. 
Despite his own suspicions that his brother held a special interest in the young priestess that went beyond a trainer/trainee status, he hadn’t truly considered why until his conversation with his mate the previous night. After his mating bond with Nesta— no, after meeting Nesta, even while she was still human— he hadn’t bothered to look at females in any other way that wasn’t purely platonic or inconsequential. 
He knew Eowyn was a rather pretty fae, of course, even despite the scars she kept well hidden, but he’d never seen her as anything other than his mate’s friend. As his friend.
She was of average height, neither too tall nor too short. Her clothes were no different from the rest of the priestesses, if perhaps only darker tones, and she often wore what he thought were skirts but were only very loose pants that allowed for unrestricted, if only heavier, movements. She also lacked the circlet and stone placed upon the center of the forehead that most, if not all, priestesses wore, even over their face coverings.
He’d seen her face only a handful of times when he "accidentally" walked in on the females having their bi-weekly lunches, and although he couldn’t pinpoint every feature exactly, not wanting to be caught staring at her, he knew she was pretty and had possibly the darkest eyes he’d ever seen.
And perhaps it was that. Her eyes. So dark and expressive and full of knowing that had his brother in a trance, for when she approached Cassian and Azriel wearing only a mask-like covering over only the bottom half of her face— her eyes shining bright from the exercise and dark hair pulled away into two braids down her back, a few stray hairs rebelling against their captivity, his brother only stared and didn’t say. A single. Word.
“So, what do you usually do after practice?” Cassian asked casually, feeling the need to ease them into a conversation that truly shouldn’t be all that difficult to have.
She gave him a weird look, one eyebrow raising slightly, “Unless I’m needed at the library, I like to go to the greenhouse while the sun is still out and tend to the plants. Then I go back to the library and work,” she looked at him questioningly, “why?”
“How would you feel about a little extra training?”
She snorted, “you’re kidding, right?”
“I’m not,” he said seriously, glancing at his brother from the corner of his eye to see if he had anything to add, but his brother’s gaze only remained fixed on the young priestess, taking in the unfamiliar sight of her dark hair. “We think you could really benefit from a few extra hours of one-on-one training and-“
“Am I doing that badly?” she asked, eyebrows furrowing, “I thought this was all just to create a routine. To destress and gain strength and all that.”
“It is” he assured immediately, “and on the contrary, you’re doing great. We can see how hard you’re working and all the effort you put in, and we just wanted to offer you some—“
“You come back to the ring sometimes. At night, when everyone’s in bed,” Azriel spoke up, if perhaps a bit softer than was normal for him. “Do you have trouble sleeping?”
If she was surprised that he knew about her late night prowling, she didn’t show it. Her dark shrewd eyes scanned his face before meeting his eyes. “Sometimes,” she replied in the same tone.
“This could help you with that, if our group training isn’t enough,” Cassian added.
She considered their words for a few seconds and crossed her arms over her chest, finally nodding slowly. “How would it work? I just stay here and train with you both for another hour or..?”
“Well, it would just be Az, mostly. Maybe if I get a day off, I could stop by for a bit” Cassian clarified, “and we can work around whatever routine works best for you. If you’re needed at the library on any day, you can just let us know and we’ll figure something out.”
“To start, would you be willing to stay for another two hours, maybe three times a week?” Azriel asked.
She considered it for a second and then sighed, “alright. I can’t say I’m looking forward to getting my ass handed to me by the Lord of Shadows, but that should work out fine.”
Cassian snorted a laugh, glancing over at his brother to see his lip barely twitch in amusement and his ears turn red. Lord of Shadows, huh? Maybe not so unattainable and uninterested, after all.
“We start tomorrow,” Azriel said, a smile barely grazing his lips, hazel eyes shining bright.
part five
disclaimer: image is not mine. i found it on pinterest :D
taglist: @lilah-asteria @a-courtof-azriel @honk4emoboyz @feyretopia @mrsjna @buttermilktea11 @bravo-delta-eccho
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lucalicatteart · 11 months
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 sculpted a strange shimmery two headed snail, speckled with wild flowers on it's shell~
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sweetandglovelyart · 9 months
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takamoris · 3 months
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Stealing this image from twitter and bringing it over here, because holy shit, some of the clowns I have been seeing talk about the game lately.
#Novice Network is a toxic waste pit right now#filled to the brim with returners who think they’re hot shit talking about ‘If Square really thought a cutscene was important they would hav#e put voice acting in it’ and other shit like that#‘I just skip all non voiced because the voiced cutscenes recap all that boring shit anyway”’#no they don’t???#Is THIS what a new Expac brings out?#because it’s genuinely dreadful#do you even enjoy the game at that point? Complain about fetch quests complain about the dialogue complain about the writing quality#why not just go play a game you like???#It’s getting to the point where I just have my chat log closed most of the time#not leaving NN because it WAS really nice during the post-Endwalker patch cycle#when mostly only people who actually liked the game (????) were still playing.#but the amount of toxic attitude returners I’ve seen in there lately is disheartening.#I hope it’ll come back down in the following weeks#once they’ve burnt through Dawntrail and decided the game doesn’t have anything for them#and they’ve sufficiently wasted their time#instead of just… taking it slow and taking in the world and the sights and the story……..#I’ve heard that Dawntrail is basically ARR 2. Which. big if true.#Because we could use that.#A return to form#with the new systems and developments in the game#bringing the story back down a little bit and reining it in#I am VERY excited to get there some day.#but I know that these people I’m bitching and moaning about aren’t thrilled#(honestly that just makes me like it more)#Anyway#point is#if you’re playing a game why the hell aren’t you engaging with said game?#What’s the point of skipping to the end as fast as possible only to get annoyed when there’s no more content?#This is exactly the problem that I’ve heard ex-WoW players complain about with regards to their player base
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thatonecrookedsmile · 5 months
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More progress being made. I finished re-reading The Illusion of Living this past Friday. It's a nice book. 👍 This was the last of the Bendy books in this "marathon" that I'm doing which I had already read previously and now I'm rereading, meaning that I'm kind of up to date when it comes to rereading all the books that were released until December 2021. But the race is not over yet. Soon I'll start Fade To Black, and (technically) I'll finally be up to date.
Just to continue my chain of posting about the books I finished (at least, the main ones that I really wanted to read) here it is…something I did at the beginning of March, on the night when shit went down. (I hope you know what I'm talking about). I saw the tweets first hand, I was there! Right at the damn moment. And it was..something reading those tweets alright. If the image above doesn't show it, my mood that night and the next 1-2 days wasn't so… great. You might read this and think I'm exaggerating, but that night especially I, uuhhh, I didn't feel good! And this image (and maybe 2 more posts I made that night) are the results of that. (And to think that a week before this happened, I had finished rereading DCTL after a long time. Talk about better/worse timing than this)
At least, if you want the bright side of this, it's that even after that day, I decided to continue with my book marathon, and I don't regret it. I was down that day, but I wasn't out yet damn it!! and I'm still not. (I don't know if this sentence makes a lot of sense, but you get my point)
As a bonus, here's something I did the night I got to the part where Henry is first mentioned in the book (you can consider this as a representation of my reaction when he's first mentioned, both for when I read TIOL for the first time in 2021, as now in this rereading)
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Feat. canon Henry design and my fanon design for him (I wanted to include him here + I still read this book with my fan-designs in mind)
#bendy and the ink machine#batim#crookedsmile open his mouth#crookedsmile open his mouth;bendy#ABBY LAMBERT; IN MY HEART YOU ALWAYS BE CANON TO THE GAMES; I DON'T CARE WHAT THE OTHERS SAY#also;i'm a Henry Stein fan;could you tell#re-looking at the first image and realizing that I will probably have to change my Abby design eventually;specifically; the hair.#I'm sure this hair doesn't match with what was described in DCTL or TIOL;#It's going to be a little strange; I'm so used to drawing her like this; but hey; every now and then we have to make sacrifices#To summarize my thoughts on TIOL: it's a nice book! Although it is not my favorite among the other Bendy books written by Kress#It's great to see more of Joey; delving deeper into his character and seeing how he thinks and seeing more of his life before the studio#is an interesting read! but I still prefer stories like DCTL and TLO; you know;especially because these two also have the horror factor in#which;considering what TIOL is; it doesn't have it. It's still a good book tho. It's just not my favorite#and re: the whole book canonity thing: I was not happy! Wow; what a surprising thing to say#as someone who enjoyed the books;I was disappointed with what I thought was expanding the games universe;In the end;just wasn't doing it#like;ok;sure;that doesn't mean the books aren't worth reading; I'd say they are! but still;*points to the last tag*#Maybe; one day; in the future; I can even accept this decision and move on with life; you know. understand the why of this.#but in the current present? yeah;no. I will continue to ask myself why#I would say more; but Tumblr has a tag limit apparently so I'm running out of time. as a last message: read the books#regardless of what the devs say; I still think these things should be recognized.#that's all; peace
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leafy-m · 1 month
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So I hit my 700th edit for the WHA wiki today, because I am a totally normal person
#For the record I have been there for. 27 days.#That makes an average of 26 edits a day which is even more terrifying because I definitely was not updating every day#Also this is for the Telepedia Wiki not the Fandom one#Anyway you should check it out!#In maybe a week because the website cache is super slow for some reason when you're not logged in#But I'm having fun#The nice thing about working on a wiki where there's actually other people doing stuff#Is that they can do the boring stuff like character bios and etc while I run around doing the fun stuff like pages on animals and plants#Anyway I was working on the Eldroxen page which are the big fluffy ox from the Silver Eve Procession#And it was so funny collecting info on them from the main series and then checking Kitchen real quick and SURPRISE! THEY'RE EATING IT!#I mean I should have expected this after having watched Dungeon Meshi and yet~~~#Also funny was that I copy+pasted the page coding for one the (food) animals as a template for this giant Mole-worm beast page but#forgot to remove the line about it being for food and afterwards had a laugh and then removed it#But now I'm like. They probably WOULD eat that sucker. Giant mole worm/snake/dragon thing? That'd feed a whole town!#Qifrey could have an entire audience watching how he'd prepare and season it#Anyway if you've been wondering where I've been that's it#Also funny story: during the Covid pandemic I stayed employed when my coworkers got let go because they needed me to catalogue an entire#new set of guided reading books; and have these sets have a digital checkout instead of the old-school card catalog we were literally still#using in 2020. Anyway I went all out with the organization of the books and the boxes and even made a reference binder for the books#via subject so teachers/tutors could find specific subjects and reading levels etc#(I'd have done a digital way to search for results but honestly half the teachers couldn't figure out how to sign in to the laptop. So.)#Anyway. Only a handful of teachers actually used these books and two years later the school switched to a new reading program#that came with its own set of books and lessons so this 10k reading set was essentially unneeded (and my dear coworkers never got rehired)#Anyway I learned last week that they're clearing out that room and all of those barely-used books are getting thrown out 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃#Isn't that funny#Literally everything is just sandcastles built in the surf#I'm so glad I already accepted this during my pumpkin carving years because otherwise I think I'd be upset#Anyway I'm gonna go play my spooky fishing game
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zoekrystall · 1 year
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Got to all the dragon tear memories and noooo whyyyy did my guess with zelda doing it had to be right. More than dragon tears were shed oh dear hylia. Idk if I am just more emotional lately or if that close up with her dragon form crying got to me. She looks absolutely radiant as a dragon but whyyyyyyyyy. Idk if I like or hate it. It is interesting but my emotions </3 Let me at least get close to her as a dragon. I will fail but I will absolutely try to speed after her now.
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pikayay213 · 9 months
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yeah okay. played the epilogue. my merry band of friends and heroes had some tragic undertones but damn. i almost cried. like three times. ok wow yeah. baldur's gate 3 my favorite game now and for all time unbeatable forever
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get-more-bald · 19 days
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the thing about X6 is that he's essentially a slave given to the Sole Survivor by the Institute. and I think that the fandom's treatment of him would be different if the game addressed it or even just said it
#forever crying cause x6 has no companion quest#i mean like. would be cool if fallout fans could read implications but also i think im one of the very few who actually think about x6#like. what the hell.........#also obv the institute synth slavery plotline was incredibly mishandled and also bad but like. everyone knows that#fallout 4 would be SO good if it was good#one thing i think about the synths. is that there are different divisioms of gen 3s#the common one: normal artificial human-cyborg basically. BUT has a short life expectancy (like... 10-15 years? short in general)#for the coursers i cant decide whether theyre upgraded commons (which would make them 'a class above' with some 'gifted' individuality)#or if theyre just. made to kill. superior physically and mentally. proficient with weapons. uncommon. even shorter life expectancy tho#and the impersonators made specifically to inflitrate the outside world. who have a life expectancy much closer to a real human#but theyre uncommon (usually community leaders) and theyre hard to make. so the commons are also sent up a lot of the time#and the institute goal in all this is to secretly control the commonwealth societies AND to use the synths (with 'a shorter life anyways')#to clean the commonwealth of radiation and create safe spaces and generally make it good and safe. and also perform eugenics on the humans#so that after the commonwealth is safe and non irradiated etc. the institute humans can actually come out and have the world ready for them#and they'd be provided for etc etc. which would make a convincing goal for a vault-like society AND have the ss actually consider joining#but with obvious flaws in their plan (maybe not even their grandchildren would see the outside. the synth slavery obv (with disregard for#their lives). the basically slow genocide of the outside humans and ghouls and all mutated life. like itd be so good#also the short life cycle of a synth (especially a courser) would make an x6 story so tasty. like. hes probably what? 6 or 8? not a lot#is he a child? not really. an adult? i dont think so. hes just here and hes going to die soon and theres nothing you can do#could be a nice ground for a companion quest where hes free and learns how to live to the fullest for his remaining years or smth#also the short lifespan (finally remembered thw word) could actually be a reason for synths to be considered less than human#cause in the base game its just like. theyre just some guys with metal in their heads and i guess they were made in a lab (noone could tell)#coming back to the institute. they would be so full of themselves and scared of the outside and pretty pathetic that thered be no way#to talk them into changing their plans and working with the outside world. but youd have to think about it a bit cause their supplies#WILL run out. its a matter of time. and they will NOT work with the other factions no matter what. so if work against them youll doom them#which is why we could use some innocent institute npcs too. or like... show some children there or whatever. make them human too#but you also see how much destruction theyre causing in the outside world (insert quest about synths like... the mcdonough quest or smth)#damn and i thought i wouldnt go on a tirade in the tags again.... alas#well here are my almost 2am thoughts about the institute and that its stupid in base game#fallout 4 would be so good if it was good
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elegyofthemoon · 10 months
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listen i also think 2b is hot but also i am very very tired of walking into the tags every now and then only to see sexy art of her this is not what im here for im here for the existential crisis
#snow speaks#i would talk more about nier automata if i could but ALAS EVERYONE IS TOO FIXATED ON HOT 2B...#I GET IT ME TOO !!!!!!!!! BUT ALSO PLEASE I JUST MISS THE EXISTENTIAL CRISIS THIS GAME GIVES ME GIVE IT BACK#aughhhhhhh#if i could id replay the game all over again#im at a point at least where i barely remember anything but quotes every now and then#so if i could play it then itd be like playing it entirely fresh !! and thatd be nice#but alas i cannot :(#and tbh like.#the thing with nier is that its not even the characters itself that gets me but the whole theme and story#the characters are only pawns and tools to the rest of the story#yes sure they have their own backstories and stuff but i think i could not appreciate them without enjoying the story itself#like i just love love love nier for how it focuses a lot on the idea of seeking out purpose for yourself#'a future is not given to you. it is something you must take for yourself.'#throughout the entire game you see the androids/machines try to find purpose and meaning in this otherwise meaningless world#does it blow up in their face? yes but to them that is a purpose to live#and enough to keep going#is that not what we're all doing? trying to wade through the waters of this world in hopes that we'll find a purpose to keep going?#i whhhhh i miss you nier automata#i miss just how much this game means to me and how it played a lot into shaping my view on reality and living#i dont think my words will ever suffice how much i love it#but i love it a lot#but yeah also like dont take this the wrong way either its just. im tired#if i could id kiss 2b but alas it was not meant to be :( (shes so pretty)#anyways hi#ACTUALLY IM NOT DONE HOLD ON#LIKE LISTEN#theres also this thing about attachment and suffering too that plays into it#the cycle of life and death and the cycle of attachment and suffering#many times these purposes these androids and machines find wind up blowing up in their face due to needing an attachment to their identity
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high-voltage-rat · 1 year
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Vyvanse is such a silly little drug. I get up at 11, take it at noon, what's a normal sleep phase I don't know her.
The first hour passes and I'm like "dude nothings happening except me getting sweaty and my heart's going a bit faster" and then I blink and it's another 2 hours later and I've just blitzed doing every chore available to me, organized all my shit for the day, read through 500 tumblr posts, watched some random-ass YouTube clips, and made myself food I don't want to eat because my appetite is suppressed but I know food consumption is a task. It's like all of my ADHD bullshit for the entire day happens at light speed over a few hours.
Then I sit down and can do The Big Task of the day for 5 hours or more and, unlike with a hyperfocus, can remain focused on it even after taking breaks to go do other stuff.
Then the end of the day hits and I'm tired and need to go to sleep but I still feel the Productivity Need so for some reason I watch 50 more "Educational" YouTube videos until it subsides and then finally fall asleep at 2am.
Like. Does it cure my ADHD? Absolutely not. Does it make me less chaotic? No. But does it allow me to consistently channel my ADHD energy productively? Oh, yeah. I'm not 100% sure that's what my doctors were going for when they prescribed it, but I gotta be honest I kinda love it.
#not video games#late nights with ali#nd blogging#actuallyADHD#I'm pretty sure my docs were intending for a bit more... how you say... stability?#but a lot of my ADHD traits don't go away. just the most important one- activation-based executive dysfunction#And honestly without that I think I like the way I function with the rest? usually anyway#If I'm in control of it. I love my hyperfocus. I love my bouncing around chaotically. I love being impulsively spontaneous#don't get me wrong. there are days where I do hate my adhd. when the emotional regulation problems kick in it's hell.#rejection sensitive dysphoria is a bitch. I can forget self care in lieu of 'more important' things. my working memory can fuck me over.#but in comparison to how I lived before medication? it's amazing. and I've learned to be fond of aspects of my disorder#and to live with the ones that are inconvenient. it's so nice honestly#I could do without the sweating and appetite suppression. but it is SO worth it to like my own mind again.#before I was diagnosed I knew I had it. so my only options were self medicating with caffiene and developing an anxiety disorder.#the thing that bypasses the dopamine-based activation is adrenaline-based activation#so I literally just. got so anxious about stuff I needed to do that it would trigger the adrenaline activation where dopamine failed me#I don't think I actually 100% KNEW that's what I was doing per se. but I do think some of my anxiety came from intentional doom spiralling#anyway moral of the story. Vyvanse helps with ADHD is some truly strange ways but at the end of the day it's a fucking miracle#New River Pharmaceuticals developers of lisdexamfetamine I am kissing you on the mouth
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millidew · 3 months
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WAKES UP IN A COLD SWEAT. kaemugi utenanthy/rgu au. junko akio. monokuma chuu-chuu. it’s all coming together
#kaede in the boys uniforms#teehee the weird but nice girl in big round glasses needs to be saved… guess she’s the one who has to do it!#wydm she’s helping to manipulate everything. she’s innocent#killing your prince gf#THEY CAN ESCAPE THE NARRATIVE. TOGETHER. THE NARRATIVE TSUMUGI HELPED WRITE#BUT IS ALSO A VICTIM OF#leaving the fake revolving world/killing games for the new real world…#kiibo…what to do with him… what if instead of chuu-chuu tsumugi had a little robot#I guess if I wanted I could keep jin as headmaster of hopes peak which is already a fucked up school#and then mukuro could be mikage. and junko could be that their guy who anthy impersonates. so tsumugi can impersonate junko again :)#mukuro would be a pretty good rose bride if junko is akio :|#in a more general au I’d probably put mukuro in anthy’s place instead of tsumugi LMAO#and then tsumugi could be mikage or something . ooh or wakaba#kirumi juri…?#I mean kirumi would make for a good anthy too#angie shiori… idk. yuri forever#I don’t know who ruka is he doesn’t matter#shuichi as miki. obviously.#kaito would be one of the duelists. idk who maki and ouma could be and still stay true to their characters…#I could see maki as a black rose duelist#gonta as a duelist too (wanted to be a gentleman/prince)#(maybe a black rose duelist who takes kirumi’s sword?)#monokuma theatre as shadow girls baby!#oh maybe ouma is like. one man shadow theatre. because he’s usually so story-stealing/reality breaking#I think peko and fuyuhiko’s entire thing deserves to be here somewhere tbh#my post#danganronpa#revolutionary girl utena#kaemugi
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