#i REFUSE to be one of those people that cant enjoy it because its changed

[skeleton-squid-boy]

you have GOT to remember when watching the new doctor who that the question is not is this good. doctor who is only ever actually 'good' once a season at most. THE ONLY QUESTION IS is it fun, camp, and has aliens. also remember the worst doctor who showrunner is always the current doctor who showrunner. now go watch the new episodes as god intended like you're ten years old and still remember how to experience joy and whimsy.

[sixthwater]

Hello! Due to a change in my life I've become quite busy, but I'll try and get some pacs out every once in a while. Also working on a few projects (with and without people), so look out for that! I've wanted to do this one for some weeks now, but it's just short messages that your guides or angels wanted to deliver to you, pretty straight-forward haha.

(Left → Right / Pile 1 → Pile 4)

Decks Used: Trickster's Journey, Tarot Familiars, Arcana of Astrology, featuring Sea Melodies & Language of Flowers

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Pile One

Cards: X of Cups, The Lovers, Trickster Rx, II of Wands, IV of Swords, Ace of Wands, Ascendant, Pallas Athena

I can’t ignore the song that popped up. It reminded me of fan-art that a friend made decades ago for hxh; it was for the chimera ant arc from Killua’s ‘perspective’ and how, despite how much pain each side was going through, he would stay by his side as long as he could.

This pull is hinting at you being in a position of looking at your life and the possibilities ahead of you, but not authentically. Resembles someone quadruple checking their path or getting someone to tell them what to do with their life. The message here is not ‘just go out and live your life’ — while that is inherently true, it’s more along the lines to have a breather and take it day by day. They want you to find yourself, and through finding yourself you will find your path. I don’t know why I keep wanting to bring in The Magician, but this pile has undercurrents of its energy as well. It’s not so much manifestation, but it’s not giving up on your dreams or your desires — they’re on pause until you can figure yourself out. I wanted to cry as soon as Shake It Out started playing, so I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a lot of pent up frustration here. There is a rebirth coming for you guys, the timeline is going to be different for all of you. However you cant be born anew if you aren’t being authentic. Some advice/help might come from friends and family, but it’s all about exploring externally and internally. You might have been searching for this for quite some time...and honestly no amount of astrology or pick a cards will give you a definite answer, but spending time with yourself and figuring out what brings you joy will give you the direction that you need. You might be annoyed hearing this, but don’t rush the process and enjoy the ride, Sure Fire Winners is your end result after this frustrating trip.

Songs: Figure 8 – Ellie Goulding, Twin Machines – DBMK, What We Life For – American Authors, Shake It Out – Florence + The Machine

Pile Two

Cards: Death, VII of Wands, Wheel, III of Coins, Queen of Cups, VII of Wands, Eros, Pallas Athena, Third House

Interesting set of cards. I’m also having difficult describing your energy. You’re not being stubborn or combative, but you feel like people aren’t giving you the time of day or listening to you, which causes you to be stubborn or a solitary individual which makes people believe you’re not co-operative — is the best way I can describe it. A little of it feels reminiscent of being a push-over, but that’s sprinkled in?

Regardless, good news is on the way, but you have to meet it halfway. This is a learning experience for you, whatever it might be (work or higher learning). It’s definitely one of those lessons that will keep repeating until you learn it, so pay attention when it pops up. You need to sort what topics or issues you legitimately care about and refuse to budge on, and what can be sacrificed. This is a key element when working with others, because it’s a quality that is often balanced when dealing with others. People seek you out because you bring something to the table for them, but if you’re going to be stubborn or not shine to the point that they can simply find anyone, then you lose out. That’s where your double Seven of Wands comes in. This could manifest in people either questioning why they’re working with you, commissioning you, or you not budging for what you want to keep within a project. This could also be you proving some people wrong? Either way, it’s a message to stand your ground and not be overwhelmed by those trying to knock you down. There’s also a high chance that there will be a nurturing mentor to help you through this or they will give you some advice that you’ll carry with you long after this. With the owl staring at me on the Queen of Cups I’m moved to think this’ll be a figure that comes in. I think they’ll probably remind you of third house themes which is to balance listening as much as you’re talking. Sometimes what you’re so frustrated by or trying to figure out will be answered before you even have to ask it. Or maybe someone has a good idea that you haven’t thought of and you should give it a shot before brushing it off. The main message here is collaboration and working with people, knowing when to stand up for things and to just let things go, and becoming a new person after this. The skeleton in Death is holding an old skull and even on the Seven of Wands it’s a little chick that just hatched; there’s a lot of beginnings after this uncomfortable period but you will learn a lot about yourself and possibly learn a lot of new skills! (From all the songs, maybe this is your first job?)

Songs: Something Good Can Work – Two Door Cinema Club, It’s Time – Imagine Dragons

Pile Three

Cards: X of Swords, Page of Swords Rx, X of Wheel Rx, Empress Rx, Queen of Wands Rx, VII of Wands Rx, The Sun Rx, Mars, Waning Gibbous Moon, Eighth House

It’s pretty obvious where you are right now, so I’m not going to get into it — I don’t believe you want me rehashing it either. You are being urged to rebuild your confidence little by little and push for what you want in your situation. I think a good portion of this though is sharing how you feel. Being comfortable with expressing your emotions or your darker issues with others instead of trying to hold onto all of this. It doesn’t feel like a shadow trait, more like bad news/a situation, but you need to lean on someone to help you. I’ve been re-watching Regular Show and this is similar to the episode where Skips was ignoring his stress killing him and everyone had to force him to deal with it and let them help. Usually I see The Sun reversed as shining too bright to the point of exhaustion or just being a little gloomy but it’s resembling The Star reversed, which worries me. You just need to take it slow and work on yourself, but absolutely you need to rely on others and don’t feel like you’re too much or you’re not meeting standards that society or you set for yourself. We all need breaks or we all get tired, it’s impossible to be in top shape all the time, so give yourself some time to get back up there. Yes, sitting in your sadness is not helpful, but you need to be able to go through it’s motions so you know what you’re purging in the first place. I’m going to pull some more clear advice/upbeat cards for you guys:

Reflect, Optimism, Azalea, Jonquil

Reflect: Peer into the endless ocean and see what peers back  Optimism: After each rainstorm, there will be clear skies  Azalea, Temperance: Find balance and be centered  Jonquil, Power: Take hold of what you know is yours

Songs: Fall to Pieces – Avril Lavigne, Love Die Young – Eric Nam, Ain’t No Mountain High Enough – Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell, Grip! – Every Little Thing

Pile Four

Cards: VI of Wands, Strength Rx, IV of Wands, VII of Cups Rx, King of Pentacles, The Hierophant, Solar Eclipse, Chiron, Leo

Experiencing impostor syndrome right now, or not wanting the spotlight on you despite...accomplishing something worth celebrating honestly. I’m weirdly taking strength quite literally, like feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders and being crushed by it. The imagery looks as such and its between two celebratory cards — or ones that can show being celebrated or being in high regards in immediate surroundings. I know you want to, but don’t run back to a ‘shell’ or what’s safe. Try and make new safe spaces or make a routine to soothe yourself, because you should embrace your wins and take pride in what you did. I don’t know what you guys did, but more opportunities are coming your way, so embrace the new and change. It might keep coming or it might just be some fun new experiences for this time in your life. Make sure to tread carefully and whatever you say yes to; you want to say yes to. Don’t just agree to whatever. There are signs of looking for a community or mentor to lean on or stick by, and it’s encouraged as well. There’s a mix of taking on this new energy because it’ll be good for you or your future (experiences or just in general), and grounding yourself because you’re in a flight reflex right now. This might be due to a past scar, because the wolves look as if they’re protecting something but ready to hurt me, and I love wolves as well as this card. Either way, you should be celebrating with everyone else the milestone you accomplished, being mindful of your next steps, being open to change, and I’m wishing you the best.

Songs: When the Levee Breaks – A Perfect Circle, Raging (ft. Kodaline) – Kygo, Have Faith In Me – A Day To Remember

[transphilza]

I have no where else to talk about this bcs i'm too terrified to post abt the dsmp after the whole dream thing. I don't support him and want nothing to do with him but my love for the story surrounding wilbur and tommys characters is so immense it makes me really sad that i cant talk about them online anymore bcs everyone seems to be dropping the dsmp, even if i have to argue that it can be separated from the dude its named after. Lmanburg means the world to me, and c!wilbur means a lot to me for a lot of reasons. I guess im just very upset about the events that have ensued lately, i miss the dsmp

hi nonnie <3

i thought a bit about whether i wanted to respond to this or not but i have seen so many concerns just like yours that i feel the need to state outright: just because the dream smp bears his name does NOT mean it is all his, nor does it mean anything to do with the smp has to be “tainted” by his association with it.

a lot more under the cut

c!wilbur is one of my favorite characters of all time, he means a lot to me and just like you i find a lot of joy in the stories he told on the dream smp. the best part about all that? it was WILBUR who did that. WILBUR is the reason why c!wilbur was amazing, and TOMMY was the reason c!tommy was amazing, and so on for everyone else on the server. it feels like a disservice to all the hard work so many people put into their characters and their storylines to allow one guy to ruin all of that. WILBUR wrote those scripts, WILBUR wrote that character, WILBUR poured his heart and soul and energy into creating an amazing story for us, and NOTHING and NOBODY can change that. it was he who made his own story amazing (and this applies just the same to c!tommy and all the other people on the smp who worked so hard)

furthermore, and firesnap spoke beautifully about this already, i’m BEGGING you to listen to your OWN instincts about this entire thing. what do YOU think is right? what feels right to you? what makes sense to you? the people who are choosing to no longer engage with the dsmp whatsoever are entirely valid to feel however they feel which led them to make that decision, but you would be just as valid to come to a different conclusion. as long as you are thinking critically, you’re on the right track. there is no Right reaction to all this. you can refuse to watch anything to do with it from now on, you can just engage with past lore, you can watch the vods, you can watch live but leave when dream appears, or you can watch the entire thing live (and though i would not personally recommend doing so, my word is not god and my morals are not Your morals!!) you can do whatever feels appropriate to You.

life is not as simple as “someone i loved turned out to be someone i no longer want to associate with, therefore i will cut ties with them and everyone they knew or anyone they work with and i will no longer have any positive feelings about any impacts theyve had on my life or any of the things they or anyone they associate with have created.” this is an unfair expectation to put on yourself or anybody!

don’t punish yourself for feeling however you feel. you don’t need to feel guilty for still being attached to the dsmp — hell, i’m going to be candid and say that c!dream is one of my favorite villains ever, and while i really enjoyed watching and talking about his character, because of this situation i no longer feel comfortable publicly enthusing about that character. this doesn’t change that i really enjoyed the character, that i STILL think it was a great character, despite having difficult feelings toward its actor/creator. you are allowed to FEEL, FEELING is not endorsement, and as long as you think critically about how you engage in fandom, however you are doing so is probably just fine

understand that nothing about this is black and white, that you are allowed to have opinions and feelings that are different from your peers, and that if the idea of one man changing your perception of other people’s creative work simply by association feels wrong, then you don’t have to let it

much love ❤️

[mueritos]

how does one get noticed as an artist? I have multiple platforms for my art like DA, Tumblr, and Ko-Fi, but it feels like everything gets drowned out by the sheer multitude of better artists. which, ya know, is kinda sucky bc my comm slots have been collecting dust for a month (and never mind I'm in a rough financial spot). I'm told my stuff is good, but that's from my small niche of friends, so it just feels obligatory :/

Hmm. This is really difficult to answer considering every social media platform works differently. Algorithms are constantly changing, so it makes it even more difficult to catch on. Posting everyday gets you the most engagement, and even with hundreds or thousands of followers, only half of them will see your posts because you arent posting regularly. ill insert a readmore.

I cant tell you how this all works because I refuse to learn how it works. Ive always just posted whenever I wanted, posted whatever I wanted, and have been doing so for many years. But I have found several things that have gotten me noticed have contributed to my growth. Before that, a really great art youtuber, Kelsey Rodriguez, does a really good job at giving advice regarding growing on social media as an artist and how to the run the business and growth side while managing the art, so Id check those out.

having a larger project, like a comic.

having a comic, and it doesnt have to be a webtoon or published on a comic hosting site, not only forces you to improve in your art by constantly drawing and experimenting, it also gives you something to post regularly. Posting regularly is important, and even if its only once or twice a week, the crucial part is that its consistent. this is more likely to give your followers content to look at, but it can attract people who relate or enjoy your comic, and can help solidify an audience. Ive done two comics so far, and my first one allowed me to understand how to draw them, and my second one allowed me to understand how to have fun with them. Both times I continued to grow an audience who enjoyed not only the comic, but myself and my other art.

fanart (unfortunately)

fanart often gets more views than original art, which is unfortunate because lots of people have awesome ocs and original art that should be noticed. but people like having context and lore to whatever theyre seeing, and if its connected to something they already know, it can bring them more joy than to look at something theyre unfamiliar with. While i dont draw fanart as much as I used to, drawing it regularly (i used to do a lot of anime fanart back in hs), can help build you an audience of people who enjoy the same media as you! it can help boost you even more if you draw fanart for smaller bands, shows, books, etc, because tagging creators or staff who have worked on those media can sometimes get them to like and share the post as well!

other artist interaction

you need to build relationships with other artists. I have to admit this has been difficult with me, but if you have artist friends online who also have an audience, you can all work together to introduce your audience to each others' art. many of my mutuals have similar followers, and this is because we all hype each other up, share each others art, and tell people about each others art. sometimes all it takes is for one mutual to share your art for you to gain an influx of hundreds of followers.

Overall, I want to encourage you to continue drawing. Commissions are not the end all be all of your value; you need to build an audience, build experience, and build consistency before you come to that point where people will commission you. Its a difficult reality, screaming into the void, but once you realize youre not the only one, you start to build connections and community with other artists for support.

I wish u the best of luck!

[no-gorms]

This a real question, not a complaint: how do you still ship Steve and Tony after Civil War? I used to love it, but now I cant forget that CW made it clear Steve doesn’t care about Tony or even the Avengers very much. I always wonder if The Letter TM was supposed to be a real apology and the screenwriter was just a sociopath, or if they were making him a dick on purpose. Anyway, I’d love to know how you reconcile all of that because your characterizations of them are so beautiful. I want to enjoy the ship again, so I’d love to hear your take on it.

----

The funny thing is, Civil War is what made me ship Steve and Tony again, and I feel like how people engage with CW's take on them depends on where their feelings already were when that movie came out. I'm speaking broad strokes but not to universal experiences, plus shipping is subjective. Thoughts behind the cut.

I got into Steve/Tony as a ship around the time the first Iron Man movie came out (thanks, zen-ish!) and most of the fic back then was comics-based and focused on a deep, years-spanning friendship with bumps between them. Understandably, a lot of these feelings got projected forward into the fresh potential of the MCU's new versions of the characters, and in my memory, a lot of fic post-The Avengers predicated a future friendship dynamic not too far from from what the comics had established.

Now, a lot of people thrived then and still thrive now in that post-2012 The Avengers time of rich possibility. I know I had joined that high with tremendous excitement. But my investment in them as a ship took a sharp blow when Age of Ultron came out, because (not knocking those who get stuff out of it) the team dynamic was not working for me. Workmates instead of teammates, Steve wasn't even living in the tower (WHY?) and though there were some nice moments, Steve and Tony's main interactions were plot-driven instead of character-driven, and coolly semi-antagonistic. And by 'cool' I mean impersonal, which comes back to the workmates vibe.

The Avengers didn't need to show them as a tight team, but it teased the possibility. AOU, in my opinion, didn't follow up on possibility, and as a result I lost interest. I know a lot of people filled in the blanks and used the 2012-team-as-family momentum to keep going, but I couldn't get into that.

Now Civil War. Oh boy. I understand why people like yourself have strong negative feelings about it, but when Steve and Tony fight in this movie, it's personal. It's also plot-driven, but in my opinion the character beats are stronger in how the conflict is depicted. It fills in the negative space in AOU of two people who should know each other well by now -- Tony knows how Steve's going to react to the Accords, and Steve knows that Tony's already made a decision. Tony gentles himself, and uses a personal touch to try to convince Steve to change his stance. Steve outright yells at one point, which he rarely does. When Tony learns about Zemo, he goes to help Steve without hesitating -- that's a ride-or-die that's too late, and gets turned on its head at the last moment. When Tony learns about his parents, Steve stops trying to justify his actions, because he knows Tony's pain is too great and in this, without question, Steve was wrong and he can't defend himself in any way, it's done, it's over, all he can do is stand his ground and not let Tony hurt anyone.

It hurts because they care. As opposed to AOU, where when they fought the dialogue could've come from anyone and the movie refused to address the fallout afterward, or in The Avengers they barely knew each other and (you guessed it!) the movie refused to address the fallout afterward.

Would it have been nice for them to show Steve and Tony as good friends? Definitely, I'm upset about AOU to this very day. Is Steve's letter at the end of CW weird? Yes, and I won't bother justifying it.

But to me, CW built up a storm of emotion between them where previously there was (again, in my personal opinion) barely anything at all, and as long as there's something, that's something I can work with. (And I thought it was delicious.) A lot of how I write Steve and Tony is influenced by CW and its fallout, especially in how I'd build their friendship backwards in their timeline (through the post-2012 Avengers and AOU era) knowing what we know about them and how they strongly affected each other in CW and after.

[sunarintoes]

Pretty Setter Squad Boyfriend Headcanons

part one can be found here II wc: 2.4k II includes: kageyama, suga, kenma, akaashi, semi and oikawa II atsumu and shirabu 

rewriting because i cringe at the old hcs 😭

✗ Kagggggsss

✗ The emotionally constipated blueberry <3 oh yeahh 😎

✗ Okay well first off he can barely process his emotions (*cough* evidently *cough*)

✗ When you two first started going out he was quite shy and unsure of what to do so you may have had to guide him a bit, but if youre equally shy then it just would have taken longer to get to where you are now; oh and if that was the case it probably took some random burst of energy/confidence from either one of you to make the first move. 

✗ He will buy you milk but uf you hate it (like me 🤢) he will buy you another drink - like juice :D

✗ I dont think he will be the most affectionate, it’s not his love language - and neither are words haHAH. His love language is most likely quality time and gift giving.

✗ He does like to cuddle though 😳

✗ In fact he really likes to :D his favourite is when youre sitting in his lap while he watches a volleyball game (at home - he hates pda). 

✗ This brings us to our next, short point. Kageyama absolutely despises pda, he just thinks its something meant for closed doors and he does not believe that he has to display his relationship for the whole world to ogle at. The most he will do is light hand holding - mostly just linking your pinkies though.

✗ When it comes to height he does not care if you're smaller or taller than him ← but bb, please don't tease him about his height if he’s shorter because he will blow a fuse.

✗ He alternates between small spoon and big spoon, kinda depending on his mood. 

✗ BOY O BOY does he get jealous. Uh please reign in your setter >:( 

✗ Its mostly due to the fact that he’s insecure about himself - he thinks you will leave him like everyone else (in middle school - yes, he is still traumatised from it.)

✗ When he does get jealous he might be snappy to the other person and glare at them or be snappy at you and glare at you. When this happens please give him space because he needs it to clear his head. When he feels better he will come up to you and hug you into his chest so that he can’t see your face and you cant see his, then he will mumble an apology.

✗ Ever since you two began to date he has practiced apologising and getting better at apologising, this is because his inability to admit to his own mistakes was a sour patch in your relationship that almost ended it but he really did not want to lose you so he sucked up his pride and worked on what he had to; of course you also worked in what you had to. God I love character development 😩

✗ Dates are mostly at home dates or dates revolving around volleyball. If you're not into volleyball, Kageyama would not date you, it's something he is so passionate about and loves with every breath he takes (like you) and he refuses to compromise one love for the other. 

✗ ooooh he likes arcade dates a well! He thrives in a competitive environment. If you're not competitive and don't want to compete against him then he’ll compete for you - against the machines lol. Of course you play as well! But i doubt youre as competitive as this blueberry, and if you are - well i guess at the end of the day youll both be stacked in tokens 🤠

✗ Sugawara my beloved <33

✗ He. Is. So. Affectionate! 

✗ Mans loves skin on skin contact ykwim?

✗ He is down for pda and does not care what others think - only what you think <3. 

✗ I mean he might make out with you in public if you ask nicely 

✗ Dates are very fun with him, he’ll take you to cafes, to amusement parks, to carnivals, to movies and all the like. He’s a cliche lover and he’s proud of it.

✗ Your first kiss happened on New Years Eve/Day. The two of you sat on the roof of his house and watched as the fireworks lit up the starry sky of Miyagi and chanted the count down together. The second ‘one’ left your lips he grabbed your face (softly!!) and pulled you in to crash his lips against yours. 

✗ Suga loves to cuddle, preferably face to face because he just thinks you're the most beautiful person in the world. 

✗ He is not the most jealous person, he definitely does get jealous but never of strangers. It's more when his close friends or your close friends get a bit too comfortable if that makes sense? He normally plays it off with humour and messes around because he acknowledges that he is insecure and that it is most likely him thinking of the worst case scenario; however if he really does start to worry and get jealous then he will sit you down and talk about it with you. To him, communication is key. 

✗ Ngl Kenma is definitely in my top 3 favourites. 

✗ I may or may not be a Kenma kinnie 😳🙈

✗ i love my non-toxic gamer boy <33 anywho: no matter what ANYONE says, kenma is definitely affectionate. In fact I'd say he’s one of the most affectionate boyfriends. As we all know, he is shy and introverted but he likes to hang around and spend time with people he likes. He also talks a lot to them. So I hc that he’s a bit of a chatterbox with you and it makes him really happy when you let him talk about a game or a theory he has. He’s a great listener so you can count on him to pay attention to what you say.

✗ if you didn't already have one, he bought you a switch. He loves video game dates especially when he can't see you in person (*cough* lockdown *cough*) 

✗ he loves when you sit on his lap when he plays video games. I know everyone talks about sitting on their partner’s lap as some sexual thing and yeah that can happen but most of the time he’s really soft with you and just enjoys being close to you. Loves when you cuddle into him while he plays so that he can place his head on yours or your shoulder. 

✗ i think he is a bit shy when it comes to kisses but definitely warms up after a while. He absolutely refuses to sleep if he doesnt get your goodnight kisses. He loves to kiss you on your nose and your cheeks the most. He loves when you kiss him on the forehead and the nose <3

✗ kenma is not one for pda, it's just not his vibe. He prefers intimacy and privacy; his relationship is not a movie for the world to watch and gawk at. Especially timeskip!kenma. Though that does not mean he wont ever show you skinship in public, occasionally he will softly hold your hand and maybe press a light kiss to your cheek. 

✗ in terms of jealousy, he is moderate. Kenma, as we all know, has incredible people reading skills, so he understands the situation pretty clearly and knows when you’re uncomfortable/what you think of the situation. Most of the time you can deal with the unwanted attention and he doesnt get jealous, but he does get insecure. He shows this by going quiet and looking away when you look at him, you can cure this by giving him hugs when you get home. 

✗ Akaashi my beloved <3 he’s so pretty i can't even-

✗ ugh! Just imagine him in a dark/light academia aesthetic. 

✗ perfection. 

✗ akaashi is the sweetest most attentive boyfriend, he loves you to pieces and never fails to let you know. He tells you he loves you every morning and every night. He probably makes meals for you and leaves notes in that have a sweet comment like “i love you, you're the best <3” 

✗ he love back hugging you BUT also receiving back hugs 🥺✨

✗ akaashi is a booknerd and an introvert. Please cuddle up to him and let him read his book to you. 

✗ there are only 2 things that can restore his social battery: sleeping and you.

✗ which means he wants cuddles when he’s tired 😊

✗ he is not jealous. He just doesn't get jealous, maybe annoyed if the third party is being a bit too pushy and you're clearly uncomfortable, but he just never feels jealous. No matter how hard you may try to make him jealous (plz dont cause that's kinda toxic imo) he just won't feel that way.

✗ definitely the ‘mom/dad’ as he carries sinister, pads, bandaids → a whole first aid kit basically, everywhere. Bb must be prepared. 

✗ dates are so sweet with him, cute niche cafes and dimly lit libraries. Maybe the occasional abandoned building. He loves spending time with you, so really he's happiest whenever he’s with you; having coffee at McDonalds or a niche cafe won't change anything. 

✗ he’s hard to pinpoint for pda. I feel like he’s indifferent about it. He probably prefers to keep it indoors or to just small and sweet gestures (no making out in public sorry-). It definitely comes down to your preferences, if you don't like it then he won't and vice versa.

✗ semi semi semi semi semi semi

✗ omg mr musician 

✗ he definitely plays guitar - lead guitar and bass guitar. 

✗ skilled fingies for sure 😗

✗ boy why are musicians so hot???? 😫😫😫💦💦

✗ he writes songs about you. Semsem has a bit of trouble saying exactly how he feels, so he writes it and sings it to you with a small little smile and eyes full of love. 

✗ off topic but Semu has the best music taste in haikyuu

✗ he loves hugs so much <33 please hug and cuddle with him 24/7

✗ very affectionate, he’s always touching you someway. Loves kissing your forehead. 

✗ he is jealous. Yeah definitely. He writes songs about being jealous 🗿 not that you mind of course ‘cause they're bangers. I think he might get snappy when he’s jealous, not directly at you but at the other person. He definitely gets a bit bitchy. Sometimes he acts that way to you so you've just gotta slap some sense into him. Say something like “what's your problem?” or “tell me what your problem is so i can help fix it.” ← that's probably the best thing to say. 

✗ afterwards he’ll just snuggle with you until he feels better. 

✗ he asks for your opinion about his songs all the time, please be honest (but also praise them if you like them lol)

✗ he takes you to niche spots he finds, like hidden concerts and stuff. Loves when you come to his gigs <3 oh and when you scream for him (in more ways than one). 

✗ dates are cute and fun. Mostly walking around together → carnivals, main street, farmers market. Those kind of things. 

✗ when it comes to pda he loves it. Loves being able to show the world who his s/o is. If you don't like it then he will tone it down and only do what you’re comfortable with. If you're also into pda then he will happily make out with you anywhere (you're one of THOSE couples 🤢 /j) 

✗ all round best boyfie <3

✗ oikawa 😳 have i told y'all how much i love him? Oikawa is the best written character, no cap, he is so complex and real it's crazy. It's so fun to write about him because you can pick him apart, you know his flaws, his weaknesses, his nightmares but also his strengths and dreams. Anywho i'll stop ranting now but i just love writing for such a perfectly imperfect character-

✗ he puts up a cocky exterior but thats all false. He's as scared as you are, he's scared that you'll leave him like his exes because of how obsessed and focused he is on volleyball. However he is a changed man, he's learned to balance his priorities. If you ever feel like you're being sidelined please communicate with him. 

✗ he values communication above all else and wants nothing more in a partner than for them to also value communication.

✗ back to the point → if you feel insecure of your relationship and that volleyball is taking too much of his attention let him know. He will change that. To an extent → he may have an important game coming up which is why he is focusing more, but he will always find time for you. 

✗ he never forgets to text you good morning and good night. He also sends you wholesome memes and makes sure you're taking care of yourself - they're like reminders for him to also take care of himself. 

✗ he is both jealous and insecure. Everyone who gets too close to you or spends a lot of time with you, he is jealous of. Jealous because he wishes he could spend more time with you but he knows he can't - not without jeopardising his volleyball career. He's also insecure, because he knows you could just leave him for a more fulfilling, more attentive, more balanced relationship. You know that too, I mean, of course you could leave him but no one would be as good as him. No one could match up to your beautifully flawed boyfriend.

✗ he is affectionate, very, very affectionate. He loves you so much. And because he spends so much time on volleyball, anytime with you he's touching you - memorizing every dint, every curve, everything about you so that he won't ever forget. 

✗ Oikawa has trouble sleeping unless he's with you, he wants to sling to you in his sleep and be grounded and remember that he is loved and cherished and appreciated y'know?

✗ pda is not an issue for him. He doesn't care what anyone else says or thinks :P in this relationship the only opinions that matter are his and your’s. Tell him you're uncomfortable with something and he won't do it, and vice versa. But otherwise, like Semi, he won't mind having a good makeout session with you in the middle of the street ;)

[h2bakugou]

Hey! i just wanted to say that i love your writing. So this may be a little complicated if thats okay but i had cancer when i was younger and i would like to see if you could write about kirishima and bakugo (separately) crush being hit by a quirk that makes them younger again or something like that and them seeing their crush in a horrible state like they cant walk anymore . IM SORRY if this is complicated you dont have to do bakugo if its too much.

a/n: hi! tysm <3!! of course, i hope you're doing well hun !! if there's anything you need me to change/edit within this please let me know!!

headcanon: them reacting to their s/o being hit by a quirk that makes them the age when they were sick

key: (y/n) - your name / (f/n) - first name / (l/n) - last name / (e/c) - eye color / (h/c) - hair color / (y/q) - your quirk

warnings: fluff, swearing, angst

;cut for length;

»»————-　★　————-««

katsuki bakugou

»»————-　★　————-««

It’s been a tough day on the field, especially with a villain attack appearing from seemingly nowhere. It’s caused a mess, and everyone’s on edge.

Most noticeable though is Bakugou. You’re fighting one on one with this villain and he doesn’t doubt your abilities by any means, but you’re worn down and tired, your movements are slower, you’re starting to reach your limit.

And all it takes is one hit from this nameless villain’s quirk and you’re down for the count.

Bakugou’s tired of fending off goons and dashes over to you, taking down the villain to the best of his ability.

But what he doesn’t expect is when he turns back to you, instead of seeing you, he sees the pile of your clothes covering a much smaller version of you.

You’ve shrunk?

No, you’ve gotten younger. 

Just barely lifting your head, you start to cough. 

“Shit, hey get someone over here!” Bakugou shouts to one of the other students, hoping an adult could rush over and try and help-not that he needed it, but he was worried.

It wasn’t long before another pro hero was wrapping your younger self up in your clothes.

If Bakugou had to guess, he’d say you were around five to eight years old.

You sat in a hospital bed for a few hours before Aizawa finally arrived, noticeably worried about the state you were in. You didn’t even remember the people standing around you.

“They’re in critical condition. If this age regression quirk has sent their body back in time, we’re going to be in a bit of hurry to get them back to their normal state. They’ve had a history of medical concerns.”

Bakugou has to step out of the room, supported by Kirishima and Kaminari as he tries not to seem like he’s heavily affected by the state your in.

“They’re going to be fine, if it’s just some sort of temporary affect, they’ll be back to their healthy old self soon!” Kaminari tries to lighten the mood, but it doesn’t seem to help.

When you’re released from the hospital to return back to campus, you’re placed under surveillance.

You’re much younger now, and you can barely walk, it’s tearing everyone apart. All of your friends stop by whenever they can, trying to see if you remember them which usually never works.

Bakugou stops by often as well, normally at night when no one else comes around.

He talks about little things like All Might and always brings in his little toy figurines that he’d swore he’d never show anyone.

You laugh and smile, waving them around making all sorts of noises all while ignoring the fact that Bakugou is nearly in tears at the sight of you.

The effects last two weeks. It’s the longest two weeks of everyone’s lives, most importantly Bakugou’s.

When you wake up and see Bakugou sound asleep beside you, his head laying on the medical bed you’d been sleeping in for the past two weeks, you’re confused.

“Hey, Katsu’?” You ruffle his blonde hair and he’s up instantly.

He’s embracing you in the tightest hug known to man, surely putting All Might’s to shame.

Kissing you too, he can’t stop himself from holding you and mumbling about how worried he was about and how he’ll never let something like that happen to you again.

“I never dabbled in my past much, but I’m doing much better now, I’m sorry I gave you a scare.” You rub his cheek, wiping away a few rare tears that fall from his crimson eyes.

“I love you so fuckin’ much.” He utters, his lips pointing upward in a smile.

“I love you too.”

»»————-　★　————-««

eijiro kirishima

»»————-　★　————-««

The fight is surely rigged. There’s no way you’re going to win, not alone anyway. 

Kirishima is making his way to you as fast as he can, but when he gets to you it’s far too late.

You’re cowering before him, your costume baggy on your visibly smaller and weaker frame, tears pouring from your eyes as your body strains to stand upright.

The villain is gone, but not too far gone that they don’t get captured by patrolling pros on the scene.

Rushing you to the nearest hospital to undergo some sort of evaluation, all Kirishima can do in the meantime is wait alongside Kaminari, Mina, Sero, and even a slightly less angry Bakugou.

When the nurse returns to explain your situation, Kirishima is mortified.

Refusing to leave your side until he’s forced to by Mina to take care of himself because it’s what you’d tell him to do, all he can do is wait and hope that you’ll get better.

You can’t walk without having someone help you, and the worst part is, you don’t even recognize him.

Kaminari takes the role of making you smile and laugh while Kirishima adds throws in random memories turned into stories hoping it’ll jog some part of your memory connected to how old you actually are.

But nothing seems to work and all you can do is sit in wonder as he tells you about how present-pre age regression quirk you is really super awesome.

After being scolded by Mina on day one, Kirishima manages to take care of himself, but he spends most if not all of his free time with you. 

In a way it’s domestic, imagining the possible inevitability of raising a family with you, you’d always jokingly said he was great with kids.

Taking care of you is nice, he enjoys doing it now, buying you little gifts, helping you get something off a high shelf or just being a gentleman for you.

Holding the door for you, carrying your bags even when you yell at him not to and he swears a part of you has been inspired by Bakugou.

After the first week, he begins to get settled in, thinking if this is going to last a while, he wants to help however he can.

Aizawa ushers him to pay attention to studies and that you’re strong enough to power through this, and he understands, he believes wholeheartedly you are.

But part of him is sort of upset. He’d never known that you used to be like this. He hoped when it was all over you could explain.

And sure enough, after two weeks, you wake up, as if those two weeks had never happened.

You don’t seem to have much recollection of the two weeks, only a few hours on the last day seem to make it through to you.

Kirishima greets you with a hug and thousands of kisses.

He doesn’t let you go for hours, weeping into your embrace as he begs you to never scare him like that again.

You console him all while telling him about your past and the history of your medical condition and he understands. He’s thankful you’re where you are now, and he’s so happy to see back to your normal self again after those two weeks.

“I stayed with you as much as you could.” Kirishima whispers, kissing your cheek. Kaminari lifts his head up and starts laughing.

“Yeah, he was so worried about you. You’ve got yourself a keeper.” He jokes, making Kirishima’s cheeks match shades with his hair.

“I love you.” You mumble against his skin, hugging him tightly.

“I love you too.”

»»————-　★　————-««

masterlist

[probably-haven]

Hello!! After seeing what you wrote about xiaoven fics I went to see what things you usually write and omg, your archon Venti headcanons????? I am absolutely in love. So if it isn't annoying, could you talk about xiaoven or Venti or Xiao or whatever ship or character you like? I don't care what you are going to say, I just want to know more about your thoughts ^^

I- is this... bestie, this is essentially a free ramble pass- kerujsgheskdfug. Trust me when I say that in no way is this, and in no way will it ever be annoying in the slightest- i literally- lets just say rambling off thoughts is kind of my specialty, especially when provided a topic to branch off of because otherwise I'm just- really indecisive about it so- iujskdh yeah- 100% definitely down to talk about Venti, Xiao, and/or Xiaoven XD. Also, yes- it may have been awhile since i last posted one(cuz again, indecisive about which direction to take part 5), but the Archon War Era Venti headcanons are still without a doubt my favorite posts I've made. It's just such an interesting topic with such endless potential that so few people actually think about or consider or even realize is there, so i always just get really psyched whenever i see someone interact with them lol.

.... this ended up being a bit of a mess: warning in advance

Anyway! onto the actual content!

- You see the thing about Xiaoven is that there's a lot of different ways that it could end up working out, and just personally my favorite way of portraying Xiaoven in my mind is as an unlabeled relationship because if anyone in genshin would give off that vibe its these two. And a number of other reasons.

- Firstly, I heavily headcanon Venti as being an aroace polyplatonic or perhaps heavily demiromantic. However, regardless of this I just don't think that Venti is really the kind of person to worry about how he should label his feelings, thinking it's silly to try to put them in one box or the other, especially with feelings and emotions being as fluid as they are in general. Plus it fits his whole God of Freedom vibe. I just- dont think he's the biggest fan of labels or social categorization in general.

- And secondly on the hand of Xiao... his defense mechanisms are very much ingrained in his personality. It's probably hard enough for him to not go into fight or flight(the answer is fight) at the slightest affection at first, at the slightest feeling of vulnerability. Even further down the line, with his fierce dedication to Liyue, I cant help but get the vibe that the moment he recognized that he was falling for Venti he would begin avoiding him, not only to avoid distraction from his duty, but to avoid corrupting him or losing him in general like he has with like basically every other person he gets close with(even believing that the cycle had repeated once more when he first heard of Morax's death)... now imagine Venti tryna slap a label on their relationship and tell me Xiao would have a positive reaction.

- The thing with Xiaoven.... honestly, i feel like theres more ways that it can go wrong than it can go right, but if they do manage to make their relationship work out, it's just simply beautiful in all terms of the word.

- Lets talk about killing. - During the Archon War, both were forced to kill a large number of people and gods alike- Venti out of a need to remain alive to protect Mondstadt, it's freedom, and the nameless bard's legacy by extent- and Xiao out of servitude to the god that was once his master

..... actually- break here- ive talked a lot about Venti on this blog but I havent actually spoken about Xiao all that much- so i should probably do that a bit first... do note though that my characterization of Xiao is pretty flexible actually- this is just- the possible characterization of him that i tend to favor as being the most- uh- "realistically complex"

-

Theres a line I saw this one time in a certain story: "He is a trained weapon. That's what he is, was, and always will be. You cannot change that so stop trying." And i just- think its a really interesting concept- that applies pretty well to Xiao now that i actually think about it. - the concept behind it is this: After spending more than a vast majority of his life killing or otherwise in battle, it's become a part of who he is, a normalcy that after centuries and centuries would be near impossible to get rid of or reverse, and even if it was possible, with his karmic debt constantly eating away at him its unlikely he has enough time left for that to happen. - it sounds like a cruel thing to say about him- but in context it's actually pretty layered and i think about it a lot. It's not as much a "he's a killer lol, that his whole personality" its more of a "The centuries of trauma he experienced have conditioned him into a constantly alert and battle ready mindset while also shaping his dehumanizing inferior-in-worth-but-superior-in-capability view of himself that would have likely been necessary to get through those time, and at this point he's been under that conditioning for long enough that it's essentially ingrained itself in his personality."

- the main idea is- it's a part of who he is, that needs to be accepted as who he is because its not something that he can just up and change. It's not all he is of course but his constant battle mode, as though always waiting to be ambushed or to be granted a new target to eradicate.

a couple character story quotes:

-"His past of service under the evil god had rid Xiao of his innocence and gentleness. All that remained within him was the means to kill and the weight of his sins. The only way he could be of service to mortals was in combat." -"Xiao does not feel any hatred. Having lived for over two thousand years, no single karmic debt constitutes anything more than a fleeting memory. No grudge can last a thousand years; nor is any debt so great that it cannot be paid off in this time. Xiao has spent many long years alone. But his battles have never been in vain." -"where did Xiao have to return to? He was merely leaving the battlefield." -"since Xiao wages a constant war against dark forces powerful enough to devour Liyue in its entirety, any bystanders who witness him in the heat of battle are likely to end up as collateral damage." -"The war he fights can never be won, and will never come to an end." -"Because ultimately, the one with whom Xiao wrestles is himself."

i feel like at some point this very nearly did consume his whole personality, almost turning him into nothing more than a being of slaughter under Morax's control, devoid of any "humanity" at all, consumed and corrupted by his karmic debt like his fellow yakshas before him. - until he experienced a moment of clarity- a song in the wind, the peaceful melody of a dihua flute. - and pulled back from the border of something he wouldnt have been able to return from, there a was a shift in his mind- a concept grown unfamiliar enough with time that it took him a great time to identify what it was; a curiosity. Something that there was no place for on the battlefield, something that by all means should have been completely useless to Xiao, and yet he held onto that curiosity, slowly regaining over time, a sense of who he was and who he could choose to be with each song that the wind chose to carry towards him every once in a blue moon.

and eventually that curiousity turned to longing. Longing "for a day to come when he will wear the mask and dance — not to conquer demons, but to the tune of that flute amid a sea of flowers"

...... uh- heh- if you couldn’t tell already i have a tendency to make my characterizations/analyses of characters more serious that i probably should. 

to summarize: Xiao is constantly toeing the line between his ingrained nature and his humanity- almost as though still trying to decide how much of that humanity he deserves to have, how much he is allowed to have, and how much is safe to have.

^looking back after writing this, i think the best way to explain it is that this is the view that i keep in mind/the lense that i tend to most enjoy looking through and refering back to while examining and/or analyzing his character, actions, story, lines, and overall personality.

idk- i kinda got off track but i just think its a really interesting interpretation to think about because it has some really interesting implications ig- it’s not the full extent of how i view him of course, but i kinda got ahead of myself and its long enough as is so ill just elaborate as i go- Lol i actually have in progress playlists for both him and venti and just- vibes- i could ramble about the playlists alone for hours explaining everything... It’s probably a problem- uh- ill keep going now lol.

anyways! stepping off the angst path for a brief break! Brought to you by their lines in the snow: both waiting for it to get thick enough, Venti for the purpose of a snowball fight and Xiao for the purpose of a tasty and nutritious breakfast.

but its actually something of note that Xiao doesnt actually need to eat so anything he does eat is usually out of obligation or enjoyment- so like.... snow.... like i dont blame him, but of all things- an adeptus who refuses to eat basically anything but almond tofu looks at the freezing-cold-floor-water that yeeted itself from above and decided at some point- damn- that seems more edible than basically ever single actually edible thing ever.... im gonna eat it- like- im glad if eating snow makes him happy but- at the same time...

He probably convinces Venti to eat snow too though and Venti wouldnt even resist I mean he’s wind and has probably consumed worse things in his time so- 2 anemo cryptids with glowing tattoos sitting in Dragonspine monching snow in the dead of night is an amusing thought to me.

- kay, now back to more serious-toned thoughts

One of the things about the ship that i really like is the different contradicting parallels between them:

A lot of how i view Xiao’s character is someone formed largely by the things he cant control and who was forced to accept that accepted that and learned to thrive in it as much as he can.  Venti on the other hand is surrounded by things he cant control and is ever adapting to control as much as he can while embracing whatever he cant as being part of the unpredictability of the world, seeing beauty in it. 

both of them have lost people and do what they do to honor their memory: Xiao continues to do what the Yakshas once did And Venti chooses to do what his friend couldn’t

Xiao’s power coming from himself  and Venti’s from others And both seem to appear to use their power for their own gain while truly helping others behind the scenes

both have killed a lot of people during the archon war Xiao views it as another necessary event out of his control and Venti would likely view it as a tragedy he chose to enact himself

and this is where we meet out balance

Xiao- contrary to how i think a lot of people view him as thinking of himself as a monster- seems canonically to have accepted this as part of his duty, as long as those he killed are not mortals. I dont think he enjoys it no- but someone has to do it and he’s just accepted that its a part of his duty Venti on the other hand-

See the beauty of the ship- as someone with an angst-centric mind- is this- these are two of the most traumatized mfers in the game 

Xiao is by far the one who needs the most help and who can serve to benefit most from the ship- but he is nowhere near self aware enough to recognize that there’s anything wrong or unhealthy about his mindset in the slightest-

whereas you have the contrast with Venti who sorted through most of his trauma with the nameless bard alone during the archon war and while the result appears more healthy- is still really not- but he’s not self aware of that either because i mean- who’s going to tell him? nobody even knows. 

however- venti is aware enough to notice flaws in Xiao’s mindset and “Venti” enough to want to help them through it-

Xiao- while not aware enough to recognize the flaws in Venti’s mindset, can recognize where it contrasts with his own, and is blunt enough to point it out- and then it’s out there to be mulled over- 

they’re so similar and yet so different and a feel just conversing between the two of them, being in each others precense, just being exposed to two mindsets that are so very different could do both of them a whole lot of good.

GEEE THAT BIT OF RAMBLING HAD LITTLE TO NO DIRECTION AT ALL- LET ME-- LET ME MAKE THIS START MAKING SENSE- WITH... DYNAMICS OR SOMETHING

I don’t think Xiao needs to sleep really- and i dont think that sleeping would do anything except make him uneasy at first- he’d probably just get nightmares after all he’s been through- but with Venti he would soon learn that it doesn’t have to be that way, lulled into the first peaceful sleep he’s had in... as long as he can remember.

anywho back to not making sense cuz im fickle and i think most questions about ships are best displayed through character interactions so like- a possible exchange thats cliche but cliches exist for a reason

Xiao: Why do you try so hard to help me, it isn’t easy. I know that much Venti, with the most adoring expression: Because you’re worth it, obviously Xiao: But surely there are others more deserving of- Venti: No Xiao, everyone is just as deserving as the next person, you included Xiao: Then why me above others? Venti: ehe, cuz ur my warrior of course [O//////O oh shit, hes right] Xiao: My contract is with Morax alone [gay panic but in broody yaksha]

it’s kinda difficult cuz neither of them really address their feelings.  I mean Venti does but he does it very indirectly and its rare that he ever does it with like- genuine directness- even spilling his backstory was in the form of a song- and told in the third person- so a lot of their interactions would often have some deeper meaning, especially with Venti being the bard he is. 

I come up with a lot of- errant thoughts about Xiaoven- but this is making me realize that a true analysis of their ship is rather difficult because it just encompasses so many dynamics so its hard to settle on just one and not go rambling about who knows what bouncing from one end of the ship to the other-  Because you truly can and thats the beauty of it

within one moment you can be having a heartfelt conversation about the archon war the impact of lost friends and times past, and the next moment Venti is trying to forcefeed Xiao an apple while Xiao screams about disrespecting the adepti and its just- so lovely

so while they have picnics with nothing but apples, dandelion wine, and almond tofu they can sit down and talk about the dreams Xiao once devoured, and the dandelion wine and apple cider that the first Ragnvindir invented from the plants that never could have grown in Old Mond. The foods that tasted of familiarity, or of the grilled ticker fish Pervases always used to eat, foods that tasted of friends and frankly family that had since passed, glaze lilies and cecilias and qingxin flowers scattered in the surroundings and woven into Xiao’s neat braids and Venti’s now messy ones, rebraided by the steady and inexperienced hands of one unused to gentle action. 

and then of course Venti steals Xiao’s tofu once the mood becomes too grim and replaces it with a bottle of wine that Xiao refers to as “vile poison,” a remark that fatally wounds Venti as he collapses on the floor, proclaiming how he can only be healed by a Yaksha’s kiss. Xiao ignores this of course and simply takes back his tofu with a slight smile on his face, but as Venti persists he soundlessly places a kiss on his own palm before intertwining their fingers and pulling him back up from where he was dramatically sprawled on the floor, grumbling about how such action was “unbecoming of an archon.” A sign of affection only Xiao would ever know about. But Venti is literally wind and I hc his senses work differently anyways so he definitely knows- plus Xiao’s face is red as the blood of his enemies and the way he is pointedly not looking at Venti at all really speaks volumes anyways. 

 -Venti playing epic battle music whenever Xiao goes into fights in what looks like a ridiculously extra performance to anyone else but is actually doing wonders to keep Xiao’s karma at bay

-Venti preaches the practice of “kissing wounds better” and Xiao is unfamiliar with this medical treatment but views it as unnecessary regardless because adepti have accelerated healing, doesn’t mean he’s going to stop him though. 

-Messages whispered on the wind

-Venti’s 1000 year sleep- an accident, not a fun time for the yaksha, and not a fun time for Venti once he woke up. Venti is actually more afraid of restful sleep than Xiao is, hence the sleeping in trees thing, but when Xiao is there, he can sleep restfully with faith that Xiao wont let another millennia slip through his fingertips. 

- Xiao tends to make excuses when doing things that aren’t necessary to his duty, like in his birthday voice line “Have this, it’s a butterfly i made from leaves... Okay. Take it. It’s an adepti amulet -- it staves off evil” because at the current point in his progress it helps him to feel like he’s allowed to do these things. Not wanting to put him off from progress, Venti never comments on his excuse but never fails to whisper a quick reminder of how proud he is of how far Xiao had come.

- Xiao’s karma saddens Venti greatly- not only because of how it effects Xiao but also because its a reminder that as much as Venti tries to honor the memory of those he’s killed, there will always be those who resent him for it, and when he took the option of living away from them, he truly can’t blame them. - And when he gets too wrapped up in thoughts, whether around this topic or similar ones or otherwise, eventually, he’ll hear the sound of a flute on the wind. It’s not divine by any means, but as his own wind connects him to the source, he gets the sentiment all the same. “What impact does one individual’s remaining wrath have on the present. You have done much to help the living in the present” the unspoken idea that Xiao has included himself in that statement, because now, with Venti’s help he’s beginning to learn just how to experience living for himself. 

- Venti’s form and Xiao’s mask are off limit topics though because if either mentions it the other will counter with the opposite and the mood will turn immediately bitter at the idea that both know that what they’re doing is destructive but neither are willing to change

- Venti who has different tells for negative feelings than most people because as much as he likes to pretend it is- this form isnt his, and Xiao who is able to identify those

- many fanfics and headcanons have Venti recognizing when Xiao is uncomfortable and getting him out of those situations. I see that and I love it but i raise you: - Venti taking Xiao to Mondstadt, careful that he doesn’t get to the point that he’s uncomfortable. And nothing goes wrong exactly, but Xiao notices the the way Venti’s cape is blowing in the wind, the way he’s holding his weight, barely on his feet so much as floating on the wind, connected with the ground only for the sake of appearance, all the while he looks just as happy go lucky as ever. And without a word, he grabs his hand and teleports them both out of Mondstadt.  - turns out it was just a slight thing that reminded him of the archon war (cuz i will die on the hill of him having more tragic backstory than just Decarabian), and he of course gives a sincere if not flustered thanks to Xiao, because he’s really not used to people noticing. 

- Venti trying to vent sneakily through fictional stories and Xiao is just like “Didn’t that basically happen to you” and Venti is just like “<_< shit”

- Venti once said affectionally that he wished he had met Xiao sooner and Xiao immediately and seriously shot it down by saying “If you had, I would have been forced to kill you” and both of them now stay up at night wondering who would have won that fight, not sure which result would have hurt more. (because honestly I have no idea who would win in that fight and that terrifies me- I like to think it would have been one of those legends that end with “and the fight persists to this day” or something along those lines)

- “How long have you been together?” “Adepti have no need for-” “1000+ years T^T how dare you deny our love” “O///O our...? ...useless”

- its disney- let me explain- i have this- i have this headcanon inspired by watching too many animatics- - so venti has a human form that isnt his- which he would have had to get used to moving in- and he’s a bard- - uh- anyway- as a third degree black belt in mixed martial arts, i can speak as an authority on this(not really an authority since i havent gone since quarantine but lets pretend). We have a thing referred to as the big three(most things do), and those things are martial arts, gymnastics, and dance. The idea is that they reflect really well off of each other and the best in any one category are good in all three. Timing, balance, form, discipline, technique, hand-eye coordination, grace, ease of motion, they all play a part- anyway-

- Venti taking Xiao’s prowess in martial arts and acrobatics and teaching him how to dance, and as someone who’s extremely skilled in the first two, the third comes easy to him, almost naturally. And it’s delicate and beautiful and lovely and it isn’t hurting anyone. And Venti points all these things out and more and despite how much Xiao insists that he feels ridiculous he truly does enjoy it and it goes a long way towards helping him form more healthy views of himself and his worth.  - Verr Goldett walked in on him once and made a joke about performing at the inn. unfortunately Venti was there and agreed on Xiao’s behalf before he could protest and- and it wasn’t as bad as Xiao thought it would be... he still wouldn’t do it again though without reason, but with good enough reasoning he could probably be convinced. 

- anyways point is he likes dancing to Venti’s songs and i just think that’s really cute - just picture the idea that all the animatics you see actually have the potential to be canon- ugh

- venti tries holding something out of Xiao’s reach since he’s taller and Xiao just fucking teleports 

- both need their space but when they dont, all they have to do is speak the other’s name and they’ll be there.

- and because i just had to.... love languages

- lets start with Xiao- i don’t think he’d view acts of service or quailty time as a love language tbh, and he blunt but really bad with words so affirmation is out, leaving gift giving and physical touch. However, he seems to view most material things as meaningless so- - Xiao who’s love language is in his fleeting touches, something he’s only recently grown comfortable with because of Venti, and now is giving back, which he knows he doesn’t have to do, but that he want’s to, though he’ll still continue to make excuses for each one. “you were shivering” “The inn is high up, you could have fallen..... I said what I said, you’d question an adeptus?”

- and as easy as it is to say words of affirmation for Venti- he does that for everyone- i want to say his is actually acts of service - its the acts of service that let him see just how much Xiao has progressed afterall, from teaching him to dance, to playing another song on the flute, to supplying him with the almond tofu he seems to enjoy so much. Every little thing he does helps Xiao to grow and he couldn’t be happier about that. 

-

- of course most of my headcanons for the ship do take place latter into the relationship because- y’know the less serious unhealthy vibes allow for greater range of thought, but i do still love to think about the serious implications so i kinda hopped back and forth. So sorry about how messy it is btw, i kinda- got carried away- it kinda got some kind of structure near the end tho so- maybe it’s okay. anyway- back to... lol something, we’ll see where thought forests lead. 

[nagdabbit]

MY GIRLFRIEND'S COMMENTARY WHILE WATCHING HER FIRST AEW PPV

"my entire fitness goal is hook's shoulder-waist ratio, but with taz's extremely dense neck."

"the funniest thing about wrestling is that this fucking company is trying to make something called a stadium stampede sound both cool, AND serious."

gf: "if you cry listening to a crowd sing judas again, im divorcing you." me: "so that means youre gonna marry me." gf: "i've been bamboozled."

about brian cage: "this man is a huge dork. like, literally, i could fit me in him."

"i dunno what it is, but i would die to protect mr. hangman. he hunk, but he also baby."

thoughtfully, "i bet i could just catch you out of the air like that. i mean, i can squat you, i could probably even curl you like that, too."

because she is deeply in wrestling twitter now: "HOOK! babe, look, its hook! hook hive, rise up!"

"what i love about this feud is that all these men are fuckin' idiots. no brain cells, just shoes and fwiendship."

"what do you mean their tag team isn't just the wild boys, wtf? missed opportunity."

"those kicks are ugly, but i would steal them, too, honestly." *thirty seconds of silence layer* "for you, babe. i'd steal them for you, i mean."

"jon, no, the germs, jon, jesus christ, please dont drink that jon you dumbass."

"i love eddie, but i'm pretty sure we should never hang out. too much extremely new york energy, we would get arrested in like ten minutes. possibly less."

"diorsday device is the funniest shit ive ever fucking heard, how goddamn sad is that."

"max caster is gonna get murdered, but i love him."

"i wish bowens and his extremely attractive boyfriend the best in life."

"colt cabana and tay conti are tied for best smile in wrestling, but tay wins because i dont want colt to kick me in the face."

"penta is the only joker i formally recognize."

"today i found out that some people don't like stu and uno, and to them i say get entirely fucked."

after rush came out and i lost my entire shit: "i don't fully understand yet, but i support you." *one minute later* "oooooooooooohh. okay, yeah."

gf: "i enjoy that cody is pushing ogogo by being a dumb bitch with this america schtick." me: "you gonna say that when cody wins?" gf: "...fuck."

"ogogo got that guy ritchie movie ass music you love to see it."

"you were right about cody and i fuckin' hate it."

"aw yeah, its big boi season."

about miro: "i'm very gay, but the thing is, men with extremely jacked traps just do something to me."

"lance changed changed the color of his extensions and i appreciate that." *thirty seconds later* "are those... three crosses? tattooed on his back? jesus doesnt like murder, i don't think he likes murderhawks, either."

"britt baker is the only dentist i want in my mouth. no, wait, don't type that one!"

"oh, fuck, shidas getting teary i'm gonna fuckin cry, oh fuck, i get it now, i'm so sorry i made fun of you, i love her."

"oh fuck, shida knee me directly in the face."

"britt scares me. like the blood drip details on her gear are really cool, but i would legit believe its real blood from her."

"are you really crying about britt and the nice announcer man hugging?"

"hey, quick question, just real quick while ive got you here... why is the emo twink... like this?"

"darby's dad looks like my dad, and i'll never be okay with that."

"i like that darby just yeets himself around like that. he came in like a wrecking ball. a tiny, tiny wrecking ball."

"sting just tossing his son around the ring like that is very good, but, sir, that's bad parenting."

"the thing about sky and page is that these are the suburb guys i beat up at the beach on summer vacation. they have big "i robbed these guys at the pier" energy."

"damn, darby just feels his emotion with his entire face, doesnt he."

"okay explain the gambling thing and WHY it's a thing."

"orange rolling into the ring is so fucking good, that man is national treasure."

after me showing her the video of younger orange cassidy shitfaced and holding a fish for no reason: "i am shocked and appalled that you're only showing me this now."

after explaining the history of the jansport: "the range of this dumbass."

"i get that kenny is good and all, but his hair really fucks me up. it's upsettingly bad and i hope he knows that."

"pac is just. so much muscle. flippy beef man. a meateor." she did specify how to spell it for the joke because it was important.

"that man is a weeb, isnt he."

"something about a man breaking a hold by putting his hands in his pockets really gets me hype."

"fuck just murder omega and be done i hate this, put it on the beef man or the juicey boy already."

"babe, ill be right back i gotta murder this callis bitch."

screaming, "THAT'S MY FAVORITE REF, YOU UGLY FUCK!"

after kenny won: "i fucking hate wrestling, this is bullshit."

"holy fuck, babe, i forgot mark henry was a wrestle boy! i know him from the olympics!"

"hey, is mark henry bigger than large paul?"

"mjf is a dumb bitch and i love him."

"hey, quick question, who thought repelling down the stadium would look cool, they're so far away."

"there's wardlow, my sweet boy. this is cool now."

she laughed for a solid two minutes at tony schiavone saying, "here comes the little guy."

"i fuckin hate hager. kill him wardlow, kill that crispy maga ass bitch."

"okay what's with the chairs." *after a brief explanation of the chairshot heard round the world* "and, like, he can't just pick a new gimmick? it's been two years, bro. move on, shes not coming back."

"okay, i admit that this is great and i love it, kill that old man on the dancefloor."

upon learning this is technically the main event: "you mean it's over after this? theyre ending the show on THIS? not the triple threat match, this?"

"i just noticed mjf's bedazzled jeans, i'm not angry anymore, this is perfect."

"no, more wardlow. gimme the beef."

"christ, sammy guevara is kinda incredible and i'm fuckin angry about it. why cant inner circle be just sammy and santana and ortiz, fuck the other two."

"no, shut up! i refuse to sing along to this! whats wrong with you?! this is a bad song!"

[randombubblegum]

just. okay. this whole parasocial twitter trashfire is so..... stupid. lol 😐 just the fact that it COULD have been a turning point for how awsten and the fandom interact but he just refuses to learn, refuses to change, and is in fact dedicated to ruining his own life? apparently???

like sure okay all the twitter parxies are going after this one suckup big parxie for being a shitty person, WHICH SHE OBVIOUSLY IS, but theyre completely letting EVERY OTHER PERSON who does the exact same shit as her off the hook?? and even like agreeing with and sucking up to them. these other “big parxies” do the SAMEEE SHIT and just bc theyve turned on their former friend (pretty indicative of what awful ppl they are to gang up on a friend to save their skins but i digress) doesnt mean they havent spent years doing the exact same stupid shit acting like awsten was their friend and overstepping parasocial boundaries and starting fights and drama in the fandom for clout????

and all this started bc awsten expressed negative fan interactions take a toll on him!!! and then what did awsten do immediately after chaos broke out in his little parasocial enclave? thats right, he pretended to give himself a matching tattoo w another “big parxie” who fights for his attention and thinks theyre friends 😐😐😐 like howww HOW do you not see you are causing your own problems!!!! how do you refuse to understand that you should not be close with specific fans and single them out for increased attention from you? do you actually not see that you are fueling these interactions by offering a reward for incessant attempts to get your attention? WHY do you refuse to understand that that is what fuels the toxic parasocial fandom that you claim to hate so much. are you genuinely that fucking brain dead? or are you just unwilling to examine and change your own behavior??????

so now what weve got is the dunces on parx twitter struggling (granted, closer than ive seen them come before) to reach the logical conclusion that everyone with a brain and basic understanding of parasocial relationships (or human interaction in general) has had for years: that awsten should not be singling out specific fans to make them feel like his personal friends because it gives them a god complex and allows them to run rampant in his already insane fandom. and people who see that and want the same attention will suck up to those fans and create this toxic hierarchy among chronically online individuals that then spirals out of control and the blowback then hurts awsten and parx.

and yknow what? it makes being a fan of parx unfun. it sucks!!! even here on tumblr where most of us (most. not all) are sane and understand fan boundaries and why unchecked parasociality is bad, im having a bad time!!! all i do is repeat the same logic, like a broken record in an echo chamber, and bc i refuse to engage w the weirdos causing shit on twitter it never reaches the ppl who need to understand it most. and it sours my view of awsten and quite frankly ruins the enjoyment of engaging w parx?!!??! like how am i supposed to keep writing my silly little fics we all have fun with when i KNOW hes out there on twitter as we speak digging himself a deeper hole. like bitch this is the grave YOU DUG and the fans youve enabled are just the ones to push you in

anyway i dunno its just really sapped my affection towards parx and i like cant enjoy anything they do lately lol :/ like ill see awsten get travis on stage and ill be like “ok cool......... anyway” and it sucks tbh. i want to like parx. i do like parx? but awsten genuinely makes it so hard to be a fan of him and his band lately it is insane -__-

[le0watch]

i cant get this out of my mind so imma just type it out:

god au where the main characters of sk8 are sort of their own pantheon.

-Masai, Goddess of Fertility and the Stars. she gave birth to reki similar to the ways the old gods of north and greek mythology did- in unconventional ways. reki was born from a star, after masai touched its surface with her finger. reki formed inside, forming and being "born" just as the earth was created, and the sun came from the remenants of his formation. she wears a crown of tiny stars, and the edges of her cloak are dotted with the stars as well.

Children of Masai, lesser gods(still powerful beyond belief, however):

-Reki, God of the Sun and Warmth. reki is the embodiment of the sun, as well as the controller of warmth and heat. he controls the sun, similar to apollo, and makes sure that the earth revolves around every day. he is also the creator of fire, creating it while he was playing with the sun's surface. when people were formed, he gave fire to them as a gift. this helped people evolve drastically. he is constantly surrounded by a bright, godly glow, his eyes holding every color of heat and warmth. he has a halo of light over his head, created by his mother from the light of stars as a gift. he wears it proudly. he gives off a constant heat, proof that is was born from the star known as the sun.

-Koyomi, Goddess of Spring. she was born from a white cloud, warmed by her mother's touch. she came up with the idea of the first season on earth: spring. this was before the other seasons were created, and so many reptilians evolved rapidly under her touch. she is often found wearing green and pink robes, as well as a crown similar to that of reki's.

-Nanaka and Chihiro, Twin Goddesses of Summer. They were born from the petals of a flower, held gently in their mother's hands. They were small at first, tiny as a pair of seeds, and still have yet to grow into their full goddesshood. but that didn't stop them from "copying" their older sister's idea of a season, and they wound up creating summer, a season of heat and more heat. they asked their eldest sibling, reki, to help with the creation, and he gave in, but ended up sending a bit too much heat. reptilians continued to thrive beneath the sun's strong waves. they wear a matching pair of sun like crowns, gifted to them from reki, as well as robes of orange and red.

Nanako, Goddess of Space and Kindness. nanako was the first god or goddess to ever be born, and was brought to life along with the existence of space. she is the eldest of the gods, yet she is also the most kind and gentle. she existed alone in the void, until a nearby spark lit up, before bursting outwards, and masai came into existence with the stars. they worked together to create planets. nanako grew jealous of masai as she gave birth to children, but it was impossible for her to do it similarly, since she is not the goddess of fertility. she begged for masai to make her fertile for at least one child, and was told she could only give birth with the help of a mortal man. this is how she met and chose oliver, a mortal from the time just before the ice age, who was blessed with the most intelligence and wisdom over any other, recognizing her and treating her kindly. this is how langa was conceived. she too wears a crown created by masai, and wears a cloak as dark and unconceivable as the void of space, dark matter rising from it like smoke. despite her choice of wardrobe, she radiates kindness and love.

Child of Nanako, a lesser god:

Langa, God of Snow and Growth. though it may sound confusing as to why langa, god of the snow, also contains the ability of growth, it is not the growth of plants, since most die from his chilling touch. he is the god of growth in people and their abilities, helping to shape them and give them inspiration in whatever they chose to do. he is one of the gods that blessed mortals the most after his mother, blessing them with natural ability and adaptative personalities. he is also the creator of winter, somehow snuffing out the sun's heat from affecting the earth as much, creating snow and ice in the process. he has not yet met reki the sun god, and does not of his transgression, but the third season was created, causing the ice age the extinction of 90% of the earth's population. he is also the youngest of the gods, the others being born prior to the creation of men. he made himself a crown of ice, that is also snowing across his blue hair. he also wears a large coat, snow cascading from the shoulders like the fur of a wolf (he asked miya for the favor of creating wolves, and he stills owes a favor to miya in return). most of his wardrobe are blues, whites and greys.

Miya, God of Animals and Mischief. miya is the creator of every single animal that roams the earth. he started with the bacteria before he grew bored, and then created evolution, helping the animals to change into different variations of themselves, dropping different creations during the time before humans. he helped to make dinosaurs and birds and mammals and fish and bugs, until he grew bored of unintelligent creatures. he made human from the first monkey he saw, touching it with intelligence and watching it grow. he also loves to tease and prank the other gods and goddesses, throwing them for loops. his best friend, though he won't admit it, is the sun god himself, who enjoys partaking in his play every now and again. he has a wardrobe made entirely of the pelts of various unknown animals to humans, which are in the colors of purple and pink and green. he also likes to make a tail for himself. miya prefers to not wear a crown, but when he has to, it is a crown of bronze.

Kojiro, God of Strength and Wisdom. kojiro is the definition of brain and brawn, helping the animals miya made have both strength and the minor wisdom they needed to survive. when miya created humans, he asked kojiro to give the humans more wisdom along with the intelligence he gave them. kojiro agreed, intruged by miya's newest creation. he visits with mortals often, granting them strength and wisdom, or one or the other. he doesn't wear a shirt, much to kaoru's chagrin, but luckily, he does wear a pair of pants that are as soft as a cloud. kojiro wears a silver crown.

Kaoru, God of Art and Creation: every god mentioned above has at one point or another created something. this is the doing of kaoru, allowing them the idea of creating anything. he gifted it to each of the gods- some more than others (kojiro was given the least amount, as well as anoisuke), and brought art to the humans in their early stages, helping them reach their full potential of wisdom and creation. this led to humans becoming the dominant species on earth. kaoru was the one to create miya from the oil of one of his paintings alongside kojiro, and thus miya refers to them as his parents, much to kaoru's annoyance. he wears robes similar to the kimonos in japan, and he favors the japanese over most other humans, giving them many gifts of art and creation. he wears a golden crown atop his head.

because of this, kojiro and kaoru are often depicated together, and they are referred to as the patron gods of techonolgy, humanity's greatest show of creation with their wisdom. occasionally, miya is also depicted with them both, and they are recognized as the patrons of family.

Hiromi, God of Plants and Life. hiromi was the one that made miya and kojiro's ideas of life on earth possible. he created the first life on earth ever: a tiny, pre-tree plant. he gave it life, making it grow and breathe until the earth was inhabitable for the creatures kojiro and miya desired to create. his favorite creation of all is that of flowers. he made those with love and care, nurturing the first flowers to life with his hands rather than his godly power. he has a crown of flower petals, as well as a robe made mostly of flowers.

Anoisuke, God of Death and Despair. anoiskue has a long and twisted history with the other gods, and as such, was locked and chained to the underworld, where he could still properly preform his job of taking those who were meant to go. he is still a heavy subject among the pantheon, as well the mortals below. it is said that he terrorized the others of the pantheon before he was locked away, and even tried to kill the sun god reki, before the god of snow stopped him, freezing him in place. anoisuke had been planning to kill the sun god to put out the sun and throw the mortals into utmost despair, so he could drag them all to the depths of the underworld below. he also had a particular interest in the snow god, believing that with his power over cold, they could freeze the entire planet over, making it unhabital for any mortal. langa outright refused.

this was how the snow god and the god of the sun met, and eventually fell in love. the mixture of their heat and cold created the final season, fall, which presides on its own without the control of a god. one would think that they could be around one another often due to their opposing temperatures, but they would be wrong. langa is so cold that he could never experience heat, while reki is so hot he could never experience cold. when they are together, the mortals consider them the patron gods of love, and they are often depicted together, with the sun and moon merged together.

Minor gods (not apart of the main pantheon):

Oka, God of Trust. oka is the god of trust, making him popular among the true believers of the human race. he helps them to root out the toxic people in their lives, as well as those they can trust the most. he is also called upon to solidify promises that can never be broken, until the promise is fulfilled.

Tadashi, God of Servitude. tadashi is the patron god of past slaves, servants, and the blue collar workers of the human population. they pray to him to lower their work, and help them get through a long day. depictions of him are a lot of the time that of a black labrador retriever, the symbol of obidience in their world. as such, he obidiently retrieves the souls of the dead to bring to his master, the god of the dead. he is also known as the god of soul reaping due to this.

due to tadashi and anoisuke's close relationship, they are often depicted together as a warning to those working, as a warning to not be too submissive, or you will be undoubtedly taken advantage of. when a person wants ward off possible bosses who force them into an unfair working situation, they will wear a pendant of tadashi and anoisuke's combined symbols- that of a skeleton holding the chain of a dog.

???, God of Youth. this is a god that everyone has forgotten the name of, but refer to as Youthian. no one has a solid depiction of they, nor entirely what they truly are a patron of, but most believe them to be that of youth and the protection of children. this god is rumored to have once been the close friend of the sun god reki, before they suddenly vanished from the pantheon.

[help-i-need-a-cool-username]

Been thinking about what Mordred's life in Camelot would've been like if Merlin didn't hate him and then thought about how if Morgana was around she would probably always give him her favor at every tournament (until he married) and the other knights would tease him for that so have a broad outline for a Beloved Characters Dont Turn Evil AU

Morgana discovers her magic and Merlin swears to her that he'll protect her. He comforts her when she's scared and Merlin begs Gaius to share his knowledge and suspicions about Morgana to Morgana herself. One night Morgana bursts into their quarters in hysterics, waking them up, screaming and sobbing, and it feels like Merlin's hug is the only thing holding her together but its not enough. Glass starts shattering, candles flare, chandeliers fall to the ground. Gaius decides at this point not telling her will do considerable more harm than not, to both herself and others. They stay up through the night. Gaius speaking and Morgana asking questions, Merlin with a supportive hand on Morgana's shoulder. At one point Morgana tearfully asks the question Merlin asked Gaius long ago, "am i a monster?". They all fall asleep at the table, and that morning when Gwen arrives to wake Morgana only to find her absent with her blankets thrown over the bed and several things knocked over she runs and alerts the guards. The guards initiate lockdown and the commotion reaches Uther and wakes Arthur (Merlin is once again late), and they proceed to fear she was kidnapped right under their noses without anyone knowing. Arthur runs down to get Merlin so he can prepare him for the day only to open the door to find the three of them asleep on the table.

Later Merlin organizes for Morgana to learn more than Gaius can tell her from the Druids, but she intends to stay the night at least, if not then significantly longer (anywhere from a week to several months), and they have no good excuse for her to use that would allow her to leave without Gwen and guards. They come up with some very convoluted plan, which does not end up in the raid that occurred in canon, and when Gwen catches her sneaking back she lies and says she wanted to check up on Mordred (who she did run into), to see if he was with the Druid encampment that was rumored to be nearby (which he was). She didn't learn nearly as much as she hoped in those few hours, but they at least pointed her in a direction.

Morgause comes to town, and leaves Morgana her bracelet. After discovering it stops her visions Morgana takes it to Gaius, who reveals it was enchanted and looks similar to the one Lady Vivienne used to wear. Morgana states Morgause got it from her mother, but that Lady Vivienne was Morgana's mother and wonders how the bracelet ever got to Morgause. Gaius says there was a rumor that Lady Vivienne had a baby that displayed a affinity for magic, but Gorlois told Uther their baby had died before they even named her. Gaius reveals that the baby was smuggled out of Camelot and given to the High Priestesses, and Morgause might very well be that baby. Morgana begins to long for a connection with Morgause, to meet the sister she never knew of and recover something of her dead parents. When she begins secretly meeting Morgause, she tells Merlin and then asks him to come with her when she begins receiving lessons from her. Morgause tries to convince them that killing Uther is the right thing to do, but Merlin keeps reassuring Morgana that all they need to do is convince Arthur to change the law for when he is king, and he's not ready to do that now so theres no use in killing Uther before he's ready, and that she does love Uther and Uther does love her and would try to "fix" her well before he ordered her death. Morgause still wants him dead, to rush the prophecy of magic's return. Them sneaking out every few nights cements the idea that Morgana and Merlin are secretly dating in castle gossip.

Im not sure what happens with Morgause, but i think she would still take Camelot at some point and she would spare Morgana and by extension Merlin. Morgana and Merlin make sure to get Arthur out (and Merlin probably goes with him) because they dont trust Morgause to not kill him. Morgause reveals her heritage (and makes Morgana a Princess and her Heir) despite claiming the throne for people of magic and not the House of Gorlois, and the knowledge that Vivienne and one of her daughters were sorceresses leads Uther to believe he can not save Morgana from magic that is likely in her blood and THAT is what breaks his mental state. Morgana's real heritage is revealed soon after, with Uther informing Gaius that Morgana being a Princess is actually within her birth rights. Morgause continues Morgana's training because at some point Morgana has to become a High Priestess because canon. That or Morgause switches sides (this is a Beloved Characters Dont Go Evil AU might as well make it No Beloved Characters Are Evil AU) and she trains Morgana later after Arthur is a established King.

Morgause is overthrown and the Round Table formed. Arthur as well as several people in the castle know of or suspect Morgana of being a sorceress but he refuses to banish her, first believing it to have been out of her control (forced by Morgause) and later learning that her nightmares had been magic all along (how could he punish her for something he knows she had tried to get rid of for over a decade?). Perhaps he lets her keep the title of Princess, having always seen her as a sister (and someone who is compassionate for the people in a way royalty should be) and armed with the new knowledge of her being his actual sister. Everyone expects Regent Arthur to crack down on magic, its what Uther would have done and what the people want, so he does. Morgana becomes a advocate for magic, as she had been for Arthur in private as a Prince, and it scares people in the castle. They believe her to be working with Morgause, despite her arguments being for individuals' wellbeing and how punishments fuels hatred for Camelot. Several attempts are made on her life, many stopped by Merlin and Gwen and sometimes Lancelot. Arthur often "asks" Merlin for his opinion on magic and with Morgana's voice being public he feels okay with being straight with Arthur on what he thinks. Uther dies same as he did in canon: protecting Arthur from a assassination.

Mordred becomes a Knight because canon. Morgana is ecstatic to see him again and acts like a mother who hasn't seen her child in ages when she first sees him. Merlin has learned you often make the enemies that are destined to kill you (ex. trying to stop Morgana's visions from coming true) so he ignores Kilgharrah and doesn't hate Mordred (he is always wary though). Mordred alternates between childlike eagerness around the knights and following Merlin around while hero worshiping him (no one can figure out why. Their best guess is that Morgana is a mutual friend). In the beginning he kept messing up his name (calling him "Merlin" is just weird) and they often talk in their heads and therefore just stare at each other which has led to two conflicting rumors: theyre in love or they hate each other. Morgana often invites him to dinner, and when they dine with Arthur they easily slip into mind-talking (because chewing) and Arthur is convinced that they're making fun of him every time they do it. He protects Arthur when Merlin can't, often runs off to do side quests Merlin needs to do but cant get away to do, and often tags along with Merlin on his quests. Being able to share the knowledge of his destiny since Lancelot died (if he dies in this AU) relaxes Merlin's caution and allows him to be emotionally closer to him. Mordred enjoys being around Merlin and Morgana not just because he's Emrys and she's Morgana, but because they are the closest thing to home he has: they know what he is, they understand (bits) of his culture and make it possible for Mordred to share it with them, their individual magic sings strong enough to remind him of when he lived surrounded by it. He quickly grows to love them so very much and no one understands WHY. The knights tease him about it, and Morgana forcing Arthur to take Mordred on certain missions he isnt qualified for "so he can learn" does not help. Gwaine and Percival were planning to convince him that he couldnt compete in a tournament without a lady's favor because he's the rookie and his panicked look greatly amuses them only to find Morgana giving him her's before kissing his cheek. They were relentless after that, alternating between "lady's favors dont count if they're from your mom," "Mordred has a girlfriend," and whatever the medieval version of affectionately calling him "Bambi" is. Morgana sits in the stand's throne (since Arthur is competing) or besides it if Gwen is queen, and she flashes a smile at him when he comes out (Gwen too. He's a sweet kid with a baby face, of course he's one of her favorites. He also reminds her of Merlin when she first met him: kind, awkward, cute). This settles Mordred's nerves but has the unfortunate side effect of increased teasing. Merlin doesn't let it go to far, he never does, and gives them a distraction before running back to Arthur.

And then magic is brought back to the land and Morgana continues the work of the High Priestesses and helps the rebuilding efforts and they're still adventures and problems, but everyone Lives Happily Ever After

[troddensodden]

what i immediately think of you based on your favorite fallout 4 companion:

or maybe a better title would have been what i think based on the companion you relate to the most? im not sure that just doesnt have a good ring to it

anyway

- cait: you come across as a violent, or generally brash person, but are good at heart. your violence or harsh tendencies likely have a reason behind them. you probably had something in your past where people who you trusted ended up betraying you, or someone you idolized turned out to be someone completely different. and this had an impact on you, causing you to protect yourself in the easiest way you know—pushing people away. because if you don't have anyone important to you, then you can't go through the same thing again. (or you just like her accent. valid.) just remember, even if some people have hurt you, not everyone will. there are people who care. just let them in. don't be afraid to be vulnerable, that shows that you're truly strong.

- codsworth: you're a pretty sentimental person and struggle to leave the past behind. which, while sweet, may get in your way sometimes. but generally you are a nice person. you like to help people out, but the main source of pleasure you gain from that is the satisfaction of knowing you helped someone, rather than the happiness of just knowing that person was helped. your sentimentality likely originates from some sort of loss, whether big or small. remember, you have people in your corner. you can rely on them.

- curie: either you're into science or philosophy, or you like accents. but most likely you're a pretty sweet person. you like to help people, but it probably ends up being self-sacrificial quite often even if you don't realize it. take care of yourself!! you're important too, the satisfaction of helping other people wont be enough to help you in the long run, and you need to acknowledge that. you probably help people and use that as a scapegoat for someone you weren't able to help well enough, whether that person is you or someone else, and end up overlooking your own needs. prioritize yourself first, allow yourself to be the most important person in your life.

- paladin danse: either you like the military, or you only played the brotherhood storyline so you could have him. also, you probably have some deep-rooted insecurity based in everyone seeing you as different and judging you for it, but you don't do anything to counter it and end up avoiding people as a whole because of it. you may think of other people as too much effort, or too confusing, or generally just not worth it when there are more important things to be done. you look up to those stronger than you, and look down on those weaker than you, and use that to shape yourself. you end up leaving the real you behind, so that maybe other people will think you're just as strong as the people you admire. but you don't have to be strong all the time. its okay.

- deacon: you're secretive. not because you necessarily have anything to hide, but to protect yourself. you may have opened up to someone in the past and then lost them, or been betrayed, and now find it difficult to be honest about yourself. opening up about yourself to anyone is a sign of great trust, and something that doesn't happen often, so you have a hard time doing it at all, but especially after being hurt because of it. you keep your heart close to your chest, and hide it behind humor and lies, because at least you don't have to be honest when you're cracking jokes. a lot of these jokes are probably pretty self-deprecating, a way of venting your struggle without having to truly bare yourself to anybody. but you don't have to lie to keep people around. people will love you just as much if you're true to yourself.

- dogmeat: you're a bit of a lone wolf. whether it's for a serious reason or just a dislike for people, you find it much simpler to be by yourself. you may have trouble trusting people, or even just issues working with people because of conflict. but as much as it may seem easier to just avoid people as a whole, you cant do that forever. if you let people in, and you trust them, they'll trust you too. it will help you out in the long run. (or hey! maybe you just like dogs. thats valid.)

- hancock: you're a very accepting person. you let people open up to you, make yourself a safe space for anyone who might need it. but you don't open yourself up to others, out of fear that maybe they'll see your flaws and leave you. as accepting as you are, you struggle to accept parts of yourself, and assume others wont be able to either. you struggle to think you're good enough, and so instead you make yourself a blank slate in a way, for people to interpret however they want. you disregard yourself, your personality, your past, and try to start anew without actually resolving any of your history. which may work fine for a while, but eventually it will stack up. it never left, you just tucked it away. you need to confront your past before working on the future. accept yourself and others will too.

- maccready: you're also quite a sentimental person, but in another way. you can't leave the past behind, because it changed you. you want things to go back to the way they were, so you can maybe change the way things went, change the things you did, but you can't. furthermore, you find the world immensely unfair, and it is. and as much as you may wish things were different, they arent, and theres nothing you can do now to fix it. whether you want to forget or not, the memories stick with you, and continuously remind you what you "could have done," even if you couldn't truly have changed the outcome. forgive yourself. its okay to remember, but it's not okay to dwell on the past and keep hurting yourself over it. the past happened, but the future is still being built. live your life.

- nick valentine: you're a very giving person, and enjoy helping people. however, you can hold a grudge. whether you or someone important to you was wronged, you won't forget about it until it has been resolved. depending on the severity, a well-done apology can satiate you, but if they did something serious, you won't rest until they get what you think they deserve. not necessarily in a violent sense, but in a general manner. you recognize that the world is corrupt and unfair, and see it as your role to try to bring about some fairness in the world, but sometimes end up stretching yourself too thin. be careful. it's good to care so much about others, but be sure to care for yourself too.

- piper: you likely had to grow up too fast, because of something that happened in your past. because of that, you struggle to truly let loose. you refuse to rely on other people and insist on being self-sufficient, but you also insist on trying to take care of others too, which builds up a lot of stress that you never really learned how to relieve. so instead of taking care of your stress, you absorb yourself in work. additionally, you're very headstrong, and while being persistent is a good thing, it comes back to bite you once in a while. so make sure to be cautious. you need to protect yourself, but you don't need to always be on guard. relax, let loose. you're still young and have life ahead of you.

- preston: you've been at the lowest point in your life and back up again. this low point, though, changed you. the way you thought, the way you acted, the way you cared for people. it changed you, positively and negatively. you've seen and experienced a lot of struggle, and that made you stronger, but it also made you afraid. not afraid of getting hurt, but afraid of not being able to protect those you care about from the strife that you've seen cause the downfall of so many people. you see it as your role to protect people, as something that brings you purpose. you've probably felt that way for a long time though. someone you admired may have gotten hurt and you weren't able to protect them, and you try to make up for it by protecting everyone else. but it's not your responsibility to protect everyone. it's not your fault if you can't. protect yourself first, and find self-worth outside of your work. focus out the present, and everything else will fall into place. its okay to take a break.

- strong: you prioritize yourself over others, to the point where you may end up disregarding other peoples thoughts or feelings because you think yours are more "important." because of this, you are generally a bit judgmental and only think something is worthwhile if it will benefit you. this may originate from some sort of neglect or similar treatment in the past, where you were forces to be self-sufficient. but it is important to be able to prioritize yourself while still being kind to other people. you look down on people who you think are weak, because you were forced to be strong enough to protect yourself. but you should allow yourself to listen to other people, because they'll care about you if you care too. relationships are valuable and important, even if you have only a few of them. be more open to other people, it won't hurt you.

- x6-88: similarly, you may feel a sense of superiority over some people. however, this is likely because you were frequently admired and praised for not showing vulnerability, whether in a physical or emotional sense. you may tend to repress your emotions, out of convenience or fear of having them used against you, which ends up affecting you negatively in the long run for a variety of reasons. for one, emotions will build up, causing stress and general struggle. but also, refusing to open up can harm interpersonal relationships, causing issues with trust, honesty, and more. you may feel relationships aren't worth it, but having people in your corner in a way that's mutually beneficial is very important. vulnerability is a sign of strength, but you were likely taught the opposite, and it's hard to shake something so deeply ingrained. it's a process, but it's worth it. allow yourself to be vulnerable, allow yourself to be protected. you won't disappoint people, it's alright.

[frazie-aquato]

i know hes The Antagonist, and an asshole genuinely and the least "has a sad reason" villain in the series, but i do think gristol malik sometimes is hated for like........Sussy baka reasons...im refuse to elaborate but i find his level really fun and i think he is ibteresting but aside from the normal, 'if you talk about a villain character you are defending them!!!!!!!!!!! you are evil' that i had been fed as a younger thing, and also that he is Generally Hated by community for good reason, and finally add to that is i dont even want to talk about the aforementioned Sussy Baka reasons because its closely intertwined with very common irl issue that makes me upset. like i sorta said earlier theres other antagonists that are more sympathetically portrayed ib the series, i think its really important to take in account the series origins world of morals. like it or not gristol still kinda.....didnt do what he planned. or at least, it was jist a bunch of 'once i do this' rather than 'did this', the most successful thing was yoinky sploinky truman, and getting insider info. oleander, loboto, ford, lucrecia, in comparison to 'once i do this' ACTUALLY 'did this'.... and are forgiven in universe, and by fans, including me. i feel like i need to put giant biohazard neon lights up that says I LIKE AND ENJOY THOSE OTHER GUYS TOO A WHOLE LOT whenever i discuss this because i feel like if i said it without someone wouls somehow think im a hater... anyways the most important thing about gristols lack of redemption from the narrative is that he does not want to improve himself as the time stands. he doesnt want to change, hes shortsighted. and the thing is like....come on. based on all those other characters, he vould totally change even if hes house arrest to mail room and the agents would go with him for ice cream next monday if they wanted. some could argue him being loved around the motherlobe was an act itself, like him pretending to be nice. i think thats totally possible, but i think its another case of not wanting to change or see whats in front of him. like, my good bitch you can buy a cotton candy naker for yourself right now if you wanted. ans people like you. bitch. but was raised as a royal cunt probably surrounded by adults who didnt wanna get their shit scrambled and was used to being 'the leader'. and in growing up i cant imagine they would go outside much if at all, hes called lost heir for a reason, why would he be lost if people knew hin, so he was probably never around normal people. i also dont think it was an 'act of pretending' persay because truman does call him the most brownosing asskisser, which no one likes. no ones likes that. now that around truman was totally an act to me, after all if you are infultrating the psychowhatsits you wanna be sooooo nice and totally trusting to their head honcho... but, basically in the way i see it, gristol, his issue is that he is refusing redemption from the world he loves in's morality. thats why he is 'not sympathetic' he has no regrets you can play it yourself its true. i dont think it would be impossible to change in the slightest...blinking my neon hazard lights again as i am thinking of the obvious lucy moment. however i think it would take a very, very long time. and like, a million therapy. the thing about all this discussion is there is ways to play with it in a way thats like...actually ibteresting. which is why its bad i feel shameful bringing up this discussion about gristol because of the instant 'i hate hims' and no further discussion, and the pn world morals. like, i think it is fucked up that hollis or sasha would do experiments on gristol just because he is there and not learning. even if it was a joke or not serious i think the ideas kinda like ? o_O. another worldbuilding idea, how of the surving grulovians feel about lucy? how would they feel knowing lucy was found, and is safe, and is protected by the agency?

jesus fucking christ this waa going to be a 2 sentence vague post, and it turned into a no-breaks in paragraph slop.....im so sorry besties................. also the big flashing sign disclaimer is still constantly on my mind :( dont be mean to me or ill cry and kill everyone

[alreadyblondenow]

Moments of Impact

Yuta x reader // SMUT, ANGST, fluff?, college student! Yuta, camboy! Yuta, virgin reader Summary: You got in an accident and Yuta waits for you to wake up. While waiting for you, he can’t stop thinking about the good times you’ve had together.  Word Count: 6k Warnings: Sad ending, swearing, explicit mature themes, mentions of motorcycle accident, mentions of other idols, virginity loss Note: I have a few notes, hihi.  - Everything italic and indented are flash backs. There are date stamps you won’t get lost. -This story is inspired by my favorite movie The Vow, if you haven’t watched it yet I’d definitely recommend it. It’s a beautiful film, inspired by true events.  -Another inspiration for this story is Forgotten written by @upinthestarsx3​ I will never forget that beautiful fic, so please go check it out!  -Again, I apologise in advance if there misplaced words, etc. 

Pulling up the blanket to keep himself warm, trying to fit his long legs on the small couch, forcing himself to get some sleep amidst the noice of busy nurses and doctors talking to people, Yuta tries so hard to get some rest. After doing two jobs everyday, Yuta always stays in the hospital lounge so somehow you can feel his presence. At least that’s what he thinks.

You’ve been in a coma for 3 weeks already but for Yuta it felt like its been years. He constantly blames himself for where you are now, blaming himself for not taking care of you enough. As much as he wanted to tell you “I told you so” he would rather want you to wake up and hold you.

He felt someone tap his shoulder while he’s staring at the blank ceiling. It’s your brother Mark, offering him some cheap tea from the hospital’s cafeteria. Mark is the only person in your family that he can talk to, maybe it’s because Mark was like a brother to Yuta. From the moment you introduced Yuta to your family, they quickly disagreed to your relationship. They thought Yuta corrupted you and that he’s using you for your money. After the accident, they were so mad at Yuta telling him he cant see you anymore. Of course Mark defended Yuta but he couldn’t change the decision of his parents. Now the rest of your family is mad at him, not letting him see you even after the surgery.

“Any good news?” Yuta asks Mark.

Mark shook his head, “at least she’s still pretty while she’s sleeping” Mark gets his phone and shows Yuta a picture of you sleeping soundly in the hospital bed. It hurt him.

In years of being with you, Yuta loved seeing you sleeping beside him or when you passed out on the couch after watching a movie. But this time, he never thought he would hate that you’re sleeping now. He closed his eyes letting his tears fall, remembering good memories of you sleeping.

3 YEARS OF BEING TOGETHER

It was a cold morning and you are snuggled beside Yuta, enjoying his warmth and his soft skin on you. Sleeping naked after having sex was not the best idea but you love how the both of you shivers under the thick duvet. Yuta pull up the covers over your head making the bed warmer, hugging you closer and kissing your exposed shoulders.

“You’re enjoying this aren’t you?” you teased him, hovering your leg on his side caressing his soft butt cheek.

Not saying a word, Yuta’s other hand intertwined with your free hand, while his other hand roams around your body, softly and slowly. You can feel his touch on your leg, drawing small circles with the tip of his fingers. Teasing and slowly going up to your waist and back, whispering praises how soft your skin is while his eyes are closed. You didn’t miss how he’s touching your breast carefully not to hurt you or make you sensitive.

“Sleep. I’ll see you in the morning beautiful” he whispers softly behind your ear.

After the accident, Yuta’s life turned upside down. The life he had with you was a life full of happiness even though you both have personal struggles. Unlike you, Yuta is not rich. He came from a good family in Japan, but not rich enough to provide money for both  school and other expenses. You offered him a deal one day, where he can’t actually refuse. You told him you can provide food for the both of you and the rent money, so he can focus on saving up for his college tuition. He agrees, taking your offer and he pays you back by loving you deeper everyday.

You didn’t made that deal just for the sake of being domestic, but you made that deal because you hated the idea of different girls having sex with your man. Yuta was a camboy before you came into his life, a rather popular one. Knowing that he’s having sex with different girls around the campus or with a specific someone and then coming home to you smelling like a stranger, hurts. It’s not that you’re against with the industry he’s on, but what if one day you can’t provide what Yuta wants in bed and he became sexually frustrated because of you? You always fight whenever Yuta goes live and have sex in front of many people. He always says “baby the sex I have with those girls were for money. It’s my work. No love.” Usually the fight went on for days and Yuta is the one who always accepts defeat.

Now that you’re not present at the moment, he didn’t have much choice but to go back on being a camboy. Reminiscing all the fights you’ve have regarding this issue, Yuta thought he would rather fight with you everyday just so he can hear your voice again. Being a camboy can provide all of his needs. Food for everyday, pay for the rent, money for his college fees and your hospital bills.

“Dude, my family is packed. Crazy rich. Really you don’t need to chip in money for the hospital bills.” Mark nagged Yuta when he found out Yuta was the one who payed for some of your hospital expenses.

“But I want to” is all Yuta can say as defense to Mark. “Anyway Mark, thanks for the talk. I have to go to work now.”

“Work as in…” Mark questions Yuta, giving him a look. Yuta nods, knowing all too well that Mark knew that he came back to the sex industry.

“Ugh! Dude! She’s gonna be pissed when she wakes up” Yuta waves goodbye at Mark leaving him at the hospital lounge.

On his way to the hotel where he’s going to “work” he saw these cheap chocolates you always loved and decided to buy one, with the hope that maybe you would wake up today so he could hand you the chocolate. Yuta was never a fan of chocolates, but this chocolate is delicious and this is the only chocolate he could eat. But the thing he loves the most about this chocolate is its the reason how you two met.

THE NIGHT YOU MET

It was Jaehyun’s house party and Yuta was bored to death so he decide to creep in Jaehyun’s kitchen and eat anything he could find. He was hoping to see something instant that he could cook easily without catching too much attention in the kitchen. After looking for some time, he gave up and decided to look for snacks instead. He found this chocolate wrapped in gold on the table near the beers. So annoyed that Jaehyun’s house does not have anything instant, he’s not very happy that he found a chocolate and not something that will give him a good burp. To his surprise, it was fucking delicious.

“Who fucking ate my chocolate?” you screamed trying to be heard under the loud party music. “I left it here. I was just getting a cup, then it was gone” you were practically screaming in front of your brother Mark.

Yuta felt guilty because he basically stole your chocolate. He made his way out of the party and went to the nearest store and tried to look for the exact same chocolate. Not knowing how to approach you, Yuta was nervous not to mention he got intimidated by your beautiful looks. Waiting for the perfect timing, he follows you around the party waiting for you to be alone so he could talk to you. But instead, he admires how you look good in that dress, how your hair follows your every move, your smile can light up the party, your laugh is like music to his ears. He didn’t notice he’s growing a little crush on you.

After three bottle of beers, the chocolate stays in his pocket while he chats with his friends. You notice that he’s following you around, stealing a glance from time to time, you decided to follow him when he went to the bathroom.

You waited for him to come out, and by the time he does you were somehow amazed by how beautiful he is. Fair skin, pointy nose, his hair looks softer than yours.

“I swear I didn’t mean to eat it” Yuta blurted out.

“Eat what? Sorry. I was just going to ask you why are you following me?”

He gave you a beautiful smile, one that you will never forget. He handed you the chocolate, his cheeks are turning red and his eyes somehow got smaller. You wanted to shout at him, show him your rage but his smile somehow calmed you down. “You ate it?”

“Yeah. But I went out to buy you a new one. I’m sorry. If this isn’t enough I could-“

“Ask me out” you didn’t know where that bravery come from but it felt good. You can feel your heart beating so fast, your chest could explode any minute.

And he did. For Yuta, it was the best decision he made in his fucked up life. For you, Yuta was the cherry on top of your colorful life already. Both of your worlds were completely different but you didn’t have second thoughts on giving up the world you used to know for him. Same goes for him, he made you the sun and moon of his life. You’ve been together for four beautiful years, ready to graduate from college in a couple of days and finally go to Japan to meet Yuta’s parents, stay there for a couple of months and get married with or without permission from your parents. That was the plan. Leave everything behind and live in Japan for good.  

But the accident happened.

“Hey” Charlotte snaps her fingers in front of Yuta, bringing him back to reality.

He sees Charlotte already half naked wearing only her lingerie. “Sorry. I haven’t have enough sleep” Yuta proceeds to take off his shirt.

Assembling the camera to go live in a few minutes, he tries to gather himself and focus on his work. He has been having sex with a heavy heart so his performance was a little down lately, but today he plans on putting up a show to raise more money.

Yuta was an animal in bed, but he is always gentle to you whenever you have sex. Not very vanilla, he still chokes you and spanks you from time to time whenever he’s in the mood to have rough sex. But he doesn’t degrade you and call you a slut which you think is hot. Even though you hate his last job, you still think he’s good at what he does because he’s always great in bed. That’s why you never want to share him with anyone.

Graduation came in, Yuta’s parents finally came and they were excited to meet you. Yuta didn’t have the choice but to be honest with his parents and that he’s not going back to Japan with them as planned. It broke their heart but they understood that Yuta is struggling too.

After graduation, Mark somehow convinced his parents to let Yuta visit you, it was a tough battle but Mark made it possible. He was so happy that he can finally hold your hand again and be beside you while he waits for you to wake up. You didn’t know but you graduated with honors and Yuta was the one who came up on stage to get your awards.

“Baby, at least I get to experience receiving an award even though its not mine” he laugh while his tears fall continuously. He was admiring all your hard work over the years reminiscing some moments, reminding you all the sleepless nights you’ve had, every project you needed to redo, Yuta witnessed it all. He was so proud of you but he couldn’t show it enough because of your current state. “Graduation was sadder than I thought, Imagine I wouldn’t have to see Jaehyun and Johnny’s face everyday. I never thought I’d miss those fuckers” Yuta was tucking you in bed, making sure your comfortable before leaning closer to you, lips almost touched. “Congratulations to us baby, we made it” and he kissed you sweetly, careful but full of love.  

Yuta continued to visit you in the hospital and he tries being with you as much as he can. Talking to you about almost everything even though you still show no response, for him it’s better than staying silent. He finally talked about how he got back to being a camboy again because life was hard for him when you got into the accident, but he’s finally looking a job as a college graduate and talks about it proudly.

He was so used on taking care of you, the nurses were surprised that Yuta was the one cleaning you with a warm damped towel and changing your clothes whenever he can. Of course the nurses thought Yuta was cute.

As time goes by, your parents saw the sincerity of Yuta towards you. All Yuta did was love you like he normally does even though you’re still in deep sleep. With that, Yuta didn’t expect your parents to be moved by his gestures and how he takes care of you. It was a bold move for your parents to talk to Yuta in front of you sleeping, hoping that you could hear every word they said to Yuta. “Baby, did you hear that? All is well now. We can finally get married without hurting your parents” he left a kiss on your left hand. Still no response.

One fine day of looking after you in the hospital, Yuta decided to take a peak at your journal out of curiosity. “Baby, I’m sorry I’m reading your journal now. Its just I’m so bored and I miss you so much” as he flips through the pages his eye caught this special day or rather fun night with you that he will never forget. It was the night when you two had sex for the first time, and the night Yuta took your virginity. He reads it with enthusiasm letting out soft and loud laughs whenever he reads something funny that you wrote. “I was tired, but I want Yuta to feel good” he read it out loud, the exact words written in your diary. “Baby, I wish I could turn back time just to tell you, you didn’t have to” he said while petting your head and goes back to reading.  

2 MONTHS OF BEING TOGETHER

“What do you mean you’re a virgin?” Yuta teases you pretending that he doesn’t know that you’re still a virgin.

“Stop teasing or I’ll bite your dick off”

Yuta was still laughing because you were cute, “okay okay. easy” he pulled you close. “Mark told me actually” you shrugged by the thought of your own brother betraying you.

“You’re going to be the first and last dick I’ll be having. It sucks not being your first tho.”

“Someday, you’ll be my last” Yuta intertwined your hands on his and kissed you deeply like you always want to. But the first word that he said, still lingers in your mind. Someday. Maybe he really needed to work that’s why he can’t leave his job yet.

You pull away from his kiss, biting your lower lip while stroking his. You’ve been meaning to say that you wanted to have sex with him and you decided it has to be tonight. “I know you’ve been wanting to have sex with me” you breathed deeply, “and now I’m ready” Yuta cant believe what he just heard but it would be a lie if he said he wasn’t dreaming for this moment to happen. “You sure about this? It’s not that I don’t want to- Fuck I’ve been waiting for this to happen. But we’ve only been together for 2 months. I don’t want to rush you or anything”

Everything you heard from him is plain sweet. You can’t stop blushing and you couldn’t hide it either. He noticed that you’re being shy for a moment but he loves teasing and tickling you until you’re out of breath. While he was tickling you and kissing your neck at the same time, he absentmindedly touched your clothed pussy. You felt it through your thin shorts and you let out a gasp because of what he did. You two never went further than first base because you’re still this innocent girl in Yuta’s eyes and he respects that. “Sorry- uh, fuck I didn’t mean to touch it without your consent. It’s just, maybe because of my work baby. My hands are used to do it automatically-“ Yuta was rambling already but you were just looking at him with loving eyes. “Do it again?” you asked him spreading your legs a little. Hesitantly, he came closer to you slowly, caressing your exposed legs, asking for consent to put his hand inside your shorts. You nod.

It was a feeling like no other, you thought. One touch of Yuta’s finger on your wet slit made your eyes closed and pulling closer to him. Grinding your hips with his finger inside you, Yuta thought you weren’t innocent as he thought you could be.

He hovers on top of you making you aroused and needy enough to get wet. Kissing you softly and biting you from time to time. You keep your hands lock on his long hair, giving it soft pulls that made him moan. Whispering soft i love yous whenever you have enough air in your lungs.

Slowly peeling his clothes and your clothes off, you felt kind of shy when he got you on your bra and laced panties. He continues to kiss you softly and deeply, cupping your cheeks and drawing circles along your back.

“Just promise me, you’ll make me stop if something hurts. okay?”

“I promise”

Yuta unclasp your bra and slowly teased your left boob using his point finger. Careful not to touch your nipples yet, it makes you frustrated and needy enough. Kissing the valley between your breast, down to your abdomen, he removes your panties slowly his eyes not leaving yours. Blowing his hot breath on your soaked pussy, Yuta takes his time kissing your inner thighs and blowing on your entrance again and again, enjoying how you react on his teasing.

Parting your folds with his left hand and drawing circles using his right hand, you feel your pussy get soaked even more because of what Yuta is doing. You thought you could cum here and then but the moment he finally puts his tongue on your pussy, it felt so good you wanted to savour the feeling. When he finally see that you’re relaxing, he inserts his middle finger while licking slowly against you pussy. Adding another finger he makes sure you’re wet enough for his cock.

“Baby do you have anything in mind? Anything you want?” Yuta asks hovering you again while still playing with your soaked pussy. You shook your head “Okay. Just follow my lead, I’ll be gentle as possible” all you can do is nod.

He gets the condom beside the table and rolls it on his hard cock. By the time he’s in between your legs again, he’s slowly putting the tip inside your pussy. Pushing slowly and pulling out, again and again until he’s balls deep. You told Yuta that it hurt but you didn’t want him to stop. He became gentler than ever before being comfortable enough to move inside. He kisses you and whispers countless i love yous beside your ear while waiting for your signal to allow him to move. Your giggle making you gasps, you can feel your pussy stretched like never before “still okay?” he checks on you before he moves.

You accidentally clenched your pussy and it made him moan, you thought he was crying out loud. But he smiled and told you not to do that because that can make him cum fast. It feels good laughing while in the middle of having sex Yuta thought. He never felt this way before while having sex and he’s happy he get to experience this kind of feeling through you.

He kisses your boobs while moving his hips slowly. Making you moan and scratch his back because of the amazing feeling. Hands all over your body, Yuta can’t get enough of the feeling you’re giving right now. “Baby, you make me feel like a virgin again” Yuta whispered in between gasps while his working on slow deep thrust.

Surprised when he pulls out, he gently changed your position and making you bend on all fours. You were familiar with this position, feeling kind of excited by what Yuta is about to do next. He spreads you legs wider from behind, caressing your ass cheeks before giving it bites that made you whimper and wet even more.

“Not-so-fun-fact, but this is my favorite position” he whispers beside your ear and fucks you from behind. It was different than earlier you thought, this positions makes your mouth open and it makes you let out soft moans. “feels good?” Yuta managed to ask, you moan in response. This position hits different spots inside your pussy that makes you gasps and breath for more air. You finally understood why this is his favorite sex position.

After fucking you slow and deep for a good twenty minutes, now Yuta is pounding you in some sort of animalistic way, hearing him moan behind you. He grabbed both of your shoulder making you arch against his chest. You were startled by his sudden move but lust is taking over you now. He placed wet kisses on your cheeks hearing him moan when you try moving your hips on your own. “You’re the only girl that can make me moan baby, did you know that?”

Driven by lust and his love for you, he asked permission before he does something he’s sure you will love. “Baby, just say yes. You wont regret it” he said gasping for air while you still fuck back. “just don’t hurt me baby. okay, I’m ready” you answered trying to catch your breath, feeling your hips give up.

He encircled his right arm on your waist and his left hand on your throat, choking you. To be honest, you never thought choking would feel so good while he fucks you hard. Hearing only slaps of skin around the room, your eyes rolls back when you felt a knot on your abdomen. His hand on your throat does something to you that you can’t understand, but it feels good. He felt your pussy clenched again around his dick and you finally cum. Hard. But to Yuta’s surprise you were still moving your hips against him trying to overstimulate yourself. He was surprised by your sudden action, it made him catch his sweet release and he cums inside you for the first time.

“Baby stop, I have to remove the condom now” Yuta needed to convince you in order for you to stop moving your hips. Still against his chest and his arms encircled on your waist, you felt your high go down as Yuta place soft kisses on your shoulders whispering telling you to stop. After removing the condom and cleaning you up, he didn’t expect himself to enjoy pillow talks and cuddles after sex. Maybe because its you he’s sleeping with tonight.

“You were kind of wild for a vigin. Does it hurt?” He asked looking a bit concerned while snuggling you.

You scoffed, “how can you expect me not to act wild when you fuck me so good Nakamoto Yuta?” you kiss him to lessen his guilt.

“That was the best sex ever. Im afraid I will always ask you to have sex with me from now on” he’s kissing your neck now and checking your folds if you’re still wet.

“Can I ride you?” with wide eyes Yuta stopped what he’s doing completely in shock seeing this side of you.

Yuta accepts your offer and you rode him four times that night using him to go off again and again and again. He was already tired but the view of you bouncing on his cock was so addicting and the feeling of you doing all the work because its your request makes him happy that you’re comfortable with him.

“I didn’t know you are this wild and needy. I was going easy on you earlier.” he said catching his breath after his third release for the night.

“Its fine, baby. You did great earlier.” you said catching your breath too. You were rocking your hips again, teasing his cock and making him hard again. “oh - ah!- baby you’re going to be the death of me” Yuta complains but he’s gripping your boobs already, making you moan and so turned on. You move your hips again making Yuta crumble beneath you, it makes you proud being the only girl in his life that can ruin him like this. When he close his eyes and just let you do the work, when you’re the one making him beg for more, when he furrow his brows trying to stop himself from cumming, you thought about how these are only for your eyes. And you love him for that.

When you finally stopped and flopped on his chest, Yuta seized this moment to throw the condoms as far away as he can so you wouldn’t have to ask for another round. “Baby aren’t you tired? You do know that we can still have sex after this night right? There’s no need to rush” that made you laugh. You kissed him deeply and thanked him for a beautiful night. “I will never forget this Yuta”

After that night, you and Yuta have sex comfortably whenever you want. Pretty sure you had sex on every corner of his apartment. Sometimes if you’re both lucky Mark walks on the two of you having sex on the couch and all you do is laugh. Poor Mark. Whenever you’re needy, the two of you have a little quickie in Yuta’s apartment before going back to class.

And by the time Yuta finally quit his job, he never used condoms anymore whenever you have sex. It was also the time he decided you’re the one he’s going to spend the rest of his life with. On your fourth year of being together, he talks about marriage comfortably with you. The both of you started to plan out your future together, he said he wanted three kids but he doubts that you two will stop making babies.

2 MONTHS LATER

Yuta was waiting for the nurse to finish changing your IV fluids before talking to you alone like he does everyday. “Baby it’s Jaehyun’s birthday today. I’m going to his house tonight with the guys and you know have fun like teenagers.” Yuta jokes while combing your hair.

“Its Valentines day too so, I got you a present.” He opens a red velvet box beside him and put the ring on you. He was supposed to propose to you on Valentines day to make it extra special but unfortunate events happened.

“Will you marry me?” it broke his heart hearing you not say a word. But he knew you will say yes.

“Please wake up, so you could say ‘yes’ already, okay? I’ll be back tonight, I love you.” he kissed you on the lips leaving some tears on your cheeks and heads out.

Yuta was hesitating to set foot on Jaehyun’s house because this was the last place you went to before the accident happened. He tried not to think about what happened but he can’t help it. When Jaehyun finds Yuta on his doorstep, he was quick to hand Yuta a bottle of beer and told him to enjoy the party just like old times.

It was nice having fun after being so stressed and sad with life lately Yuta thought, he felt alive again tonight. Playing beer pongs, drinking beers with the guys, dancing under loud music. He missed being this alive.

He felt his phone vibrating, he got nervous and quickly looked for a quiet place to answer Mark’s call.

“Hello. I’m at Jaehyun’s its too loud everywhere. What’s up?”

“Hyung… She’s awake”

Yuta left the party immediately and rushed back to the hospital. Your room was crowded with nurses and doctors, and your whole family is present. When Yuta stepped inside the room he cant believe you’re sitting and talking in front of his eyes. But why does it feel like you’re not excited to see him? He felt scared when Mark brought him outside the room and told him he has something to say.

“Hyung… She remembers the accident” Mark breathes in deeply, “But she doesn’t remembers you”

In that moment he felt his legs give up on him as if it forgot how to carry him upon hearing the news. He felt a little dizzy but not because of the alcohol he had from the party. It’s too much he thought. He left Mark and decided he would like to be alone for a minute. Thinking of a way how he can handle his feelings when you finally saw him and you don’t recognise him.

After three cups of coffee at the hospital’s cafeteria, Mark talked to him again. Trying to be careful with his words, he tried to explain what you remember and what’s left with your memories about Yuta. Just like Yuta, Mark was heart broken.

“We asked her whats her last memory” Mark started, destroying the tissue in front him piece by piece. “She told us about the accident, but not in detail. And that her last memory before the accident is… our trip to Paris” Mark looks at Yuta finally, “And hyung… We went to Paris three days before you guys met” Yuta was feeling sick again, he wanted to cry in front of Mark.

“But” Mark added “she remembers tiny scenarios flashing in her mind, she told the doctor something about tattoos? Do you know something about it?”

For the first time at that moment, Yuta smiled. She remembers, but not entirely, but still.

“That memory was two years ago. She was forcing me to have matching tattoos with her but I didn’t want to because of my work. And she put up a fight, throwing everything she sees at me. She didn’t know that the work that I was talking about was my internship” Mark let out a small laugh hearing the story, how stupid of you for getting mad over matching tattoos.

It was quiet for some time, maybe the both of them are still digesting what’s happening right now. Nonetheless they were both thankful that you’re finally awake. Mark brought Yuta back to your room, and left him to face you alone. Not sure what will happen when you finally see him. It will hurt Yuta, but he wanted to see you already.

The room was cold and Yuta caught you shivering when he entered the room. He gave you his blanket that he kept in the room whenever he stays over and take care of you. “Hey” he greets you softly, “This is mine, you can have it” you took the blanket with a small smile. A smile that Yuta craves to see, and it made him fell in love with you again.  

You don’t recognise his face but you recognised his voice. You sat while you watch him play with his own fingers. The air in the room became colder. You heard him clear his throat and you looked at him again.

“Do you want to say something?” you asked trying to get him comfortable.

“Do you know me?” Yuta asked even though he already knew the answer.

“No.. but your voice is something I hear when I was sleeping. Are you a nurse or something?” Yuta was glad that you can actually hear all that he said to you when you were sleeping. He chuckled and points at the small table beside the hospital bed. Just near the fresh flowers you can see your college diploma, your journal, several pictures of your family and friends, and pictures with the guy sitting across the room.

“I’m Yuta” he introduced himself to you for the second time in his life and that left a sting on his heart. Trying to hold back his tears, he saw you play with the engagement ring that he gave you earlier today.

“I’m sorry If I don’t remember you Yuta. But I will work hard to-“ he came closer to you with a slight panic, asking permission if he could hold your hand. You let him.

“You don’t have to do that. Yes its hard for me but I know its harder for you” he puts his forehead on yours, arms encircling around you and gentle swaying you. Everything this guy do is too much for you, you wanted to push him because he’s basically a stranger in your eyes. But you knew all too well that he’s not a stranger to your heart.

On the next day, your parents talked to Yuta about how you should live your life when you get discharged from the hospital. They were kind enough to consider Yuta to take care of you and for that he was thankful. Knowing all too well that living with him will be hard for you, but he promised himself that he will be strong for the both of you.

“but” your father started and Yuta got nervous all of a sudden.

“We asked her if she wants to live with you and go on with her normal life with you. We also explained to her that that’s the best option… but she didn’t want to. And that’s her final decision” Yuta was once again feeling weak and unable to move after hearing your father’s explanation.

“Yuta, we want her to be well. Everyone does. That’s why we should talk to her even more, and convince her to live with you” your mother added, being hopeful that Yuta would convince you to live with him.

In your four years of being together, Yuta never forced you to do something you don’t want. Even when it comes to the smallest things like if you don’t want his shoes inside your shared bedroom, he complies. Yuta knew you so well that he trusts every decision you make. That’s why he explains to your parents that he can’t force you to live with him. “We all love her. I think, we should respect her decision” those are Yuta’s final words to your parents. They didn’t have any choice but to agree with Yuta. But your parents think Yuta deserves to be with you too. They told him to come see you tonight before they leave first thing in the morning and that he’s welcome to visit you anytime if he wants to.

For the last time, Yuta visits your room while you were sleeping. Sitting on your hospital bed carefully not to wake you. He strokes your soft hair, memorising your features more.

“I will never forgive myself. I should’ve taken care of you, baby it’s my job. I should have pinned you down instead of just telling you not to ride that motorcycle with Lucas” he cries again, pouring everything out. “I’m sorry if none of our dreams will come true. But I know you will live happily even without me baby. Just promise me you’ll never be sad or cry over something or someone. I could’ve been the one making you happy forever but, we can’t force anything to happen now.”

He slowly caress your arm, down to your hand. Kissing it several times, your hands became wet because of his tears. With a heavy heart, Yuta slowly takes off your engagement ring.

“I will never forget you. Thank you for making half of my life as beautiful as your face” he forced to let out a giggle, and quietly leaves the room with a broken heart. ................................................. Masterlist Hey there! If you’re at this point I would like to thank you for reading this. If you have any comments or questions, in between scenarios I’m more than happy to answer them :) Talk to me! I want to make new friends. 

[sortagaysortahigh]

So you dont follow bee anymore? I thought you were friends or do you just send hate to everyone who disagrees with you?

First and foremost Ive never sent genuine anon hate or hate to anyone. Ivr made jokes with my friends and we’ve even acknowledged that they knew it was me on the dash bc odds are we were on ft or texting. Ive stated multiple times that I’m not a bitch who sends anon hate nor do i support sending anyone anon hate regardless of their views and opinions? Why you may ask you dense ass anon, because I’m constantly on the receiving end of anon hate and its never just lol youre a bitch, no its a combination of racial, homophobic, and transphobic slurs alongside people coming at me and questioning my intelligence plus yhe classic off yourself anons that i never post because my blog is a safe space and i will not give anon cunts a platform.

Sending anon hate is for pussies and thats the truth of the matter. If im sending anyone an ask its off anon and odds are ill send that blog a message prior to actually “stirring” shit up on the dash because i actually understand how to communicate my issues with people without insulting them. If a blog thinks im sending them anon hate then theyve got the wrong bitch. I unfollow people whos content i dont enjoy or opinions/views i dont agree with and its that simple. I will always use my blog to speak about things that im passionate about and things that a lot of individuals refuse to speak on because they have the privilege not to address them.

Now onto the bee thing, im assuming you’re referring to @stardustseguin because ive seen a few asks sent to @cognacdelights aka frankie (im only @ing yall bc whenever anyone is blatantly brought up in an anon i @ the person if possible), I know little about the situation but from what ive gathered one of bee’s mutuals is an am34 and b*nn supporter, truthfully speaking in a fandom such as hockeyblr all of your mutuals are not your friends not will some people share the same viewpoints as them. I dont think bee is a bad person nor do i think she supports those cunts based on her mutuals bc literally in hockeyblr half of the blogs you might enjoy specific content from-probabky support a problematic player. It’s a privilege to not speak on issues that these players essentially endorse and that is a privilege very evident in this fandom. You cant change people who dont want to be changed.

Personally like i said i unfollow ppl but not everyone does and based on what ik ab bee i dont think she supports/enables the things that supporters of problematic players do, and i know for a fact bee has reblogged similar posts to mine regarding conversations surrounding racism, homiphobia, etc. If you want to have a conversation about why she ahould or shouldnt follow xyz then do so in a respectful manner rather than sending her hate and dont come to my blog and make a stupid fucking assumption that ive sent her or anyone else hate.