#i UNDERSTAND that it explains why sora was like oh kairi :) and was like RIKU 😭 in the rnd like i GET IT

[talaofthevalley]

Vibe check for borderline crack but also kinda serious AU where Baldr somehow finds himself heart freeloading in Riku years after his death, and now Riku has a keyblade wielder with a body count hanging around over the events of the mainline games. Baldr haunting the narative figuratively AND literally.

Extra features such as Riku and Baldr having extra strong light in them because to quote the intro to KH1 "the closer you get to light the greater your shadow becomes" but much like how negative times can easily overtake positive ones, it's not easily noticeable.

Featuring events such as:

Hanging around Destiny Islands as an incorporeal ghost that can barely interact with Riku but spending most of his time sleeping or at ease kinda does wonders for all those repressed emotions and trauma.

Adults think Riku has an imaginary friend. Riku was halfway convinced he was being haunted thanks to Baldr's white hair, eyes and lashes.

Baldr gets attached. Just a little bit.

Watching Riku struggle with his inner darkness and feeling abandoned in KH1 hits a little too close for comfort for Baldr, but hey, he knows from experience that anyone's voice would be preferable to the darkness.

Baldr clocking Xehanort almost immediately and going what the fuck. What the hell are you doing. Bastard what happened to you after all these years. Finds out Xehanort's trying to create Kingdom Hearts and is all OH so when *I* try to do it, you kill me, but if it's you, it's totally fine? I hope the kid beats your ass.

Baldr popping in as a voice in the climax and giving Ansem Seeker of Darkness a crisis before he dies, which he didn't quite *mean* to but he can still read emotions as a heart ghost. Feels kinda good he's not gonna lie.

Riku eventually grows taller than Baldr and he feels slighted. Offended. You're supposed to be a pipsqueak stop that.

Riku instead of turning into Ansem SoD in KH2 takes on the form of Baldr from connecting with his own darkness and, by proxy, Baldr. Instead of getting taller he gets shorter.

Cue Baldr weighing the pros and cons of Riku revealing his new form in front of Xemnas like- Cons: The possible rise of danger my heart innkeeper will be in. Pros: Chaos.

Sora squinting at Baldr!Riku until he screams and points like "YOU'RE THE GUY! FROM RIKU'S DRAWINGS! THE GHOST!" and Kairi doesn't get it until Sora reminds her of the guy Riku sometimes talked about when they were kids and drew pictures of and then SHE'S pointing like !??!!?! and Riku's like uuuuhhhh I can explain but it'll take a while.

"You know Xehanort? Why didn't you say anything??" "Yeah he was my classmate. And then he executed me after I killed the others in our class. And some of our upperclassmen. It's not the best conversation opener."

Riku becoming understandably distressed once he finds out how exactly Baldr died and the lead-up to his breakdown. Has to go talk to Mickey and be reassured that if Riku ever loses his way in the darkness again, they'll pull him right out no matter how many times it takes.

Baldr tries very, very hard not to be bitter.

"My feelings about my friends, sister and place of birth are complicated on the best of days, but I'm glad you don't have to live with the suffocating guilt and anxiety that there's something inherently wrong with you for having even a sliver more darkness in you than what's considered acceptable and worrying your loved ones will put you down if they find out. I'm glad you have people who understand you, and who try to understand you."

"Do you ever wish you could meet your sister again?" "I'm content mourning her."

The state of Sora, Riku and Kairi's friendship and complicated feelings about each other is almost enough to give Baldr an aneurysm when he feels them.

The fun of DDD where Baldr can take a solid form inside the dream realm and meets young Xehanort when his death is still fresh in his mind :^ )

Baldr, finding out about what happened with Eraqus and his apprentices; "Goddamnit Eraqus."

Someone telling Riku to follow his heart and he goes "Are you asking me to kill?"

Baldr; The number one guy who can get under Xehanort's skin and tear down his 'specialest guy' mindset, and only partly because his emotions are an open book to him. Takes a look at adult versions of him and goes "Oh I want to bully him so bad, it'd be so easy." Xehanort; Has spent the last decades researching darkness because of Baldr, while also pointedly not thinking about Baldr, that Baldr killed their friends, or that Xehanort killed him.

Why is Baldr in Riku? Eeeh, unsure. Mayhaps the kids were all meant to go to Quadratum after they died but Baldr went "nope" and drifted around instead until Riku was born and his heart went "oh twinsies". Maybe his classmates have been looking for him, after time has passed to think and reflect yet there's still been no sign of him.

And since I'm a sucker for happy endings all the DR kids reunite in Quadratum and Xehanort and Baldr can now kick each other's ankles and be the kind of pair that would be unbelievably toxic where they different people but it somehow works. Being able to read your partner's emotions would be very one-sided in any situation except where they can read yours right back.

[gulava]

Also hi sorry I just wanted to say in the Disorder cutscene it goes Roxas -> Xion -> Riku -> Sora, which like. You could say might be a way to show the nobody's and then their others in order. But also having Riku right in the middle of it all is such an interesting choice too, again it being followed by the "Xion siphoning Sora's memories through Roxas" explanation, why would the memories be going through Riku at all?

Also also, at the beginning of that scene, Roxas has one of Sora's memories of Kairi, which he later tells Axel about, saying it felt like a dream. But if Xion is getting Sora's memories (especially the ones about Kairi from what we know), why did Roxas end up keeping that one? (And also seemed to forget Riku's memory right after, only mentioning that he saw a girl who looked like Xion and not like. Seeing his dead coworker. But Xion did seem to keep that memory.)

Perhaps the two of them are more trading memories which each other?

Anyway I don't know if you've talked about any of this before but I'm really interested in your theory.

Oh, I love how they bunch them together like that. No Kairi (if you've seen my BBS Kairi is Sora theory, you know I don't fully believe this nonsense about Kairi effecting why Xion looks like that) or just Sora in there, is there? Nope, they put Riku there. And my theory involves Sora's heart or a piece of it being with Roxas to keep it safe. If he's Riku's Nobody, it would make sense for him to be chosen as a safe place for Sora to rest. Riku is someone who will always keep Sora safe, even at his own expense and subconsciously.

It would explain all the odd feelings Roxas experiences during his journey (as Sora experiences similar things with Roxas and Ventus inside him) and why Carpet would say he senses a friend despite Genie and others not feeling the same way. Mickey Mouse in the KH2 Novel thinks Pluto is nearby but it's Axel who was just AROUND Pluto for a period of time. He says Axel "smells like a friend", hilariously enough.

Also, Roxas reacts similar as Sora did when Sora speaks out of him to Riku as when Ventus speaks to Vanitas from within him. They both express shock and weren't aware the other person was with them at all. The only difference being that they assumed it meant Roxas was Sora's Nobody in the first case. Wonder what would've happened if they had access to the power of waking back then...

Riku was more willing to fight Roxas because he didn't fully believe he WAS Sora's Nobody upon meeting him and just went off what DIZ told him. You can see the very drastic difference in how he treats Xion and Roxas. He acknowledges Xion as a part of Sora and gives her room and time to consider her choices as someone with agency. He does not give Roxas this same courtesy. Makes more sense to me if Roxas is a part of Riku if he's willing to fight him. "I feel like I'm my own enemy", he says in COM. Maleficent tells him to not forget to finish himself because he's also "someone from the dark" which is how Roxas introduces himself to Sora in KH2.

Roxas explaining it felt like a dream when it WAS an actual nightmare that Riku was in was very interesting and accurate. He even reacts in a flight manner as if it was too much for his psyche to bare while Xion got trapped inside of it, potentially siphoning it from Roxas in the process which is why it might have faded from memory or it could've simply been too much for Roxas to handle atm so he pushed it to his subconscious. Riku also has to save Xion as...a Dream Eater does.

Pretty deep stuff there. He doesn't save Roxas from it but he acts without thinking with Xion. He just "felt like it". Not so much with Roxas. I love the line in the KH2 Novel after Riku stops Roxas and asks him if he "feels Sora" because he states he's getting frustrated with HIMSELF and then pauses before thinking that the sentiment is odd. He doesn't understand why he went to see Roxas.

My understanding of the siphoning memory power is if the heart is power, then wouldn't memory be too? The more experience you have, the more strength you have in life. And it's not necessary for it to BE at a conscious level either. We experience life-altering events some of us forget to cope but it still changes us. I guess the good thing in this situation is that even if your brain forgets, your body won't. Roxas gets weaker at times when Xion is at her best during Days. Not so unlike Riku's situation with Sora. Neither Roxas nor Riku wield the Kingdom Key anymore. Xion and Sora still do. But Roxas and Riku are still able to gain strength without taking it back from the other two.

Sidenote on the Keyblade situation: I just thought it was really precious that in the Days manga Xion compared holding Roxas's Keyblade to holding his hand.

[alangdorf]

Hi! This is a follow-up post to my kingdom hearts fic Ten Minutes Too Late that I’ve been meaning to make for several years at this point. Under the cut will be some rambling about why I stopped writing it (tl;dr: ADHD, predictably) and then I’ll explain what my future plans for the fic & its universe were and post what stuff I did have written up. I’m totally fine with it if anyone happens to want to use my ideas for their own work btw, I probably won’t be getting around to finishing it anytime soon if ever.

Oh also! BBS Tangled AU writeup is here; I won’t bother with the few snippets of writing I did cause they were all very short false starts.

(Note: I will probably not be making a similar post for my old Undertale au. It’s been too long for me to remember much and I don’t wanna go find my notes, also it’s just not that interesting. The main secret [the Frisk in the comic was from Jerky’s timeline] was guessed immediately anyways.)

The Writing Issue

Guh. So I’ve always been really bad at the act of writing. Results are usually decent, but trying to get myself to write anything that my brain isn’t just coming up with on its own is like pulling teeth. (Honestly it should’ve been a major indicator of my ADHD growing up, but I was the guinea pig oldest child and didn’t get diagnosed ‘til I got to college and the additional time management responsibilities - and writing assignments - pushed things into unmanageable territory.) I’m also an incorrigible perfectionist and rarely manage to force myself to push out first draft material I’m not happy with. Unfortunately this also applies to writing I do for fun, so I have to really really really be inspired to be able to write and even then it’s still often a struggle.

Since I have very little practice with writing, I also just have a large gap between my skill level and my taste, and overall I’m very conscious of issues in my past writing - jokes that are lame because I couldn’t think of anything funny, inconsistent characterizations, over-reliance on plot contrivances (I’m largely resistant to being bothered by contrivances but like it’s a LOT), too much angst and not enough other stuff to balance it out because the angst is all I can focus on, trying to tackle things I don’t have enough personal experience and/or knowledge of and/or tact to handle in a way I find satisfactory, etcetera. I always like my stuff quite a lot when I’m actually rereading it, but the bad bits are what stick in my mind, so it’s hard to even think about my writing without feeling really embarrassed (and meowing). Which makes it really hard to want to focus on writing more of TMTL. Though I also just haven’t been hyperfixating on KH in several years. Maybe I’ll finish my four blaseball wips someday but the odds aren’t looking good…

TMTL Plans

Anyway, hmm, where to start… well, chapter 16 was gonna be a flashback to what happened to Ven & Vani at the start of KH1, namely that they went to the play island while Ansem was there, Ven lost his heart in a Neoshadow attack, and then Vani’s coerced into being a henchman again since Ven’s basically a hostage. He does not have a fun time with that, but he does train Riku (and yes he was the mystery person they saw at Hollow Bastion). I wrote out that chapter but I was a little dissatisfied with it. I guess at the end of this I’ll post all my snippets.

I had a whole plan for all three kids’ paths through KH1 but it was probably wayyy too overambitious to try and write the whole thing given I was never that interested in the kids or in the Disney worlds. To skip to the important bits at the end (also I don’t entirely understand my notes for the rest), Kairi gets to Hollow Bastion before Sora does and Vani ends up removing her heart (it goes to Sora) in a last-ditch effort to stop Ansem’s plan and also keep her safe-ish; in retaliation Ansem sends him to the Realm of Darkness. To be honest this was mostly just to set up Naminé’s continued existence and to get Aqua out of the RoD early.

The end of KH1 goes about as normal except Kairi tags along (also Ven wakes up but doesn’t tag along). Aqua finds Vanitas and Vanitas finds Riku and Vani portals them all out cause I guess he can do that. Then things get a little interesting: since Ven was not involved in the events of Birth by Sleep, Aqua never turned the Land of Departure into Castle Oblivion, so the events of Chain of Memories just kinda don’t happen. Naminé still pops up in the LoD, but Aqua has just returned home and takes her in. For a while. The org comes for her eventually.

The replicas also happen, but under slightly different circumstances; the org occupies part of Hollow Bastion in secret before the Restoration Committee really gets everything under control and they use several stored heart scans: Riku’s (from during kh1) to make Repliku, and, just to see what would happen, they mashed up “Princess of Heart” Kairi’s (from pre-fall of Radiant Garden) and “What I am is darkness” Vanitas’ (from during kh1) to make Xion. (That’s why I draw her with pink eyes in this au, it’s purple + red. Also the average of 4 and 26 is 15, it’s perfect) I dunno what effect them being pure light + pure darkness would have, if any. They’d probably just be a mostly regular keyblade wielder but that’s still valuable to the org.

And with Chain of Memories not happening (also Roxas still exists like normal), Axel gets four kids! I didn’t have any other plans for kh2 and beyond. Eventually Xion gets adopted into Kairi & Vanitas’ family, Roxas into Sora & Ven’s, and Namine is Aqua’s daughter and/or little sister. Also Vanqua happens but I’m not posting most of the stuff I had written for that; it was weird cause I’m not good at writing romance.

I was also very interested in writing interstitials for chapter 3, more about Vanitas and Kairi’s time in Radiant Garden and involving more of the people living there (oh man I remember I had this whole big idea about Cloud and Sephiroth being a really weird heart experiment done by apprentice Nort half-remembering the whole Ven & Vani thing), and also slice of life stuff about everyone living on Destiny islands in the long timeskip between chapter 7(?) and the start of kh1. I’ll put that list of ideas in the snippets section.

The Leftovers

The Chart(TM)

Interstitial ideas list

Ienzo sometimes hangs out with Kairi because Kids; Vanitas does NOT trust him bcuz he is an apprentice and usually brings the wrath of Even with him

Yes Braig is blackmailing Vanitas for babysitting purposes, but he’s also actively protecting him from apprentice Nort?????

Untitled Unversed Game is still so good [Note: this was basically just Unversed wreaking minor havoc in town while Vani’s sick]

All the radiant garden peeps may have had more important stuff going on at the time but they do remember the local cryptid Untitled Goose Game-ing it up for nearly a year and while they may never have seen his face or talked to him, they recognize the Unversed and they’re just like???? The cryptid’s back? And he was just a weird homeless kid the whole time? And Cid’s like yeah duh, I’ve been telling you kids that for the past decade

ALSO I only just had this idea but considering Vanitas got badly enough injured by Aqua as to be put fairly solidly out of commission for a few months, he probably didn’t manage to get entirely off the street before passing out for a while; I dunno much about ffvii Cid, but  I do get the vibe that he’d be the type to pick up strays and then gripe about it constantly while picking up some more, so? You know where I’m going with this. Although this is Vanitas fresh offa bbs and four years with Xehanort prior so he does not trust anyone further than he can throw them. Also he probably doesn’t know that Xehanort got amnesia yet, so there’s that too.

Kairi keyblade training??

Oh yeah by the way Kairi and Vanitas? You have three older sisters now who are absolutely thrilled to have surprise little siblings

If he fits he sits; iF HE FITS HE SITS

Kairi settles in nicely (by repressing her trauma) but hoo boy VANITAS is gonna be INTERESTING

DON’T FORGET THE UNVERSED BTW

Also Ven settling in with Hikari and Sora and becoming a real boy

Vanitas angst but that’s a given

Riku?? Riku???????

Ok did Vanitas actually talk through his trauma during therapy or did he just get assistance wrt dealing with trauma & emotions? Either way I think said therapist is extremely in over their head

Chapter 16 + most of the rest of what I had started for future chapters in that same document

[Not edited but a bit at the end was redacted cause I really didn’t like it. Pretty much all Vanitas angst. Very long but there’s pictures at the end. Asterisks are italics cause I use discord too much; empty brackets means there should be other stuff there]

Vanitas let his brother row the boat, since this excursion had been his dumb idea in the first place and Vanitas had never been particularly confident in his nautical navigation skills. He’d gotten off late from work, and Ventus had worked even later, so the sun was already setting. But they were adults. They could handle a little darkness.

There was a bundle of jitters crawling around in the pit of his stomach, but it wasn’t his own emotion he was feeling. He stared pointedly at Ventus, who was almost a little too focused on rowing. “You’re nervous.” It wasn’t a question.

“Hm?” Ventus looked up in surprise. “Um, maybe.”

Vanitas sighed. “You’re the one who asked me to come, idiot. Why are *you* nervous?”

He shrugged. “I dunno, it’s just... we haven’t hung out in a while.”

“Well, I’m flattered you hate me that much.”

“No!” He pouted at Vanitas indignantly. “You didn’t let me finish! I was thinking we should do something together, so that’s why I suggested this. I’m just...” He frowned. “Having second thoughts. I don’t know why, but I really feel like we should go home.”

“Maybe you should’ve thought of that *before* we reached the play island,” Vanitas said dryly, pointing out the dock only five feet away.

“Oh...” Ventus sighed and hopped out. “Never mind, then.”

Vanitas waited until Ventus dragged the boat into the sand to disembark. There was no way he was getting these shoes wet. He untied the flannel from around his waist and put it on, still unbuttoned for now, over his binder. It was going to be an unseasonably chilly night.

He followed Ventus as he headed towards the other side of the island, chatting as he went. “I can’t believe it’s been so long since we first came to the islands, Vanitas! It feels like it’s only been a few days since you and Kairi showed up.” He linked his hands behind his head as he walked, his eyes widening. “Oh, man, Kairi’s *old* now... Those kids grow up so fast...”

Vanitas rolled his eyes. “*We’re* pushing *thirty*, Ventus.”

“Hey, your thirties are the best years of your life!”

“Not when you’re a hardware store manager and the town librarian. Did Hikari tell you that one?”

“... How’d you guess?”

“Because she’s forty and misses being younger.”

“Aww, no she doesn’t. Mom just wishes we could all be home more often.”

“She sure sees you often enough at work.”

Ventus stopped and shook his head. “Just because it’s a small hospital doesn’t mean we see each other all the time, you know. But we both like working there, so it’s all good.” He turned around and smirked at Vanitas. “Besides, you love your jobs, don’t try to lie to me. Taiyo’s practically your dad, and you’d *live* at the library if you could.”

Vanitas struggled to keep a genuine smile off his face. “Yeah, whatever.”

They emerged on the other beach just as the sun reached the horizon, throwing yellow light across the waves. Vanitas made sure to stand directly in its path, basking in the last warmth of the day. Ventus just squinted and made his way down the beach, waiting for Vanitas to follow, which he did, reluctantly. He asked something he’d been meaning to for a while. “Did you ever figure out how to summon your keyblade?”

“...I’ve never tried.” Ventus put his hands in his pockets, standing in the same place he’d found two displaced kids almost a decade ago. “I’d rather not get involved with... all that if I don’t have to. And if I never summon it, we can never fight and forge the χ - blade, right?”

Vanitas stood next to him, shivering in the chilly breeze. “I suppose so. But you know, Kairi finally managed to summon hers a few weeks ago. She could totally beat you up if she wanted to.” He felt he deserved his smug expression.

Ventus looked at him, shocked. “You taught Kairi how to summon her keyblade?”

“She’s older than we were when we first learned. I wanted her to be able to fight... just in case something happens.” He shivered again.

“You’re too pessimistic. Nothing bad’s going to happen.”

“Well, you never know. I still think you should learn.”

“And I think you should wear more clothes if you’re so cold!” Vanitas yelped as his brother poked his exposed belly button.

“Hey, you can’t hide perfection!”

“Ugh, you’ve been working out again, haven’t you?”

He struck a bit of a pose, showing off his abs. “You know it.” They both giggled uncontrollably at the ridiculousness of it all.

Ventus composed himself and crouched down. “I’m still in pretty good shape. I’ll race you to the secret place!”

Vanitas got ready as well. “Oh, you’re on!”

After counting down together, they took off and sprinted down the beach, Vanitas already trailing behind. There was no way he could win against Ventus without teleporting, so he just let the wind whip across his face and through his hair as he ran, not bothering to push himself. He lost sight of Ventus as he entered the passage to the other side of the island and slowed to a walk.

As Vanitas reached the other beach, he looked around for Ventus, but didn’t see him anywhere. He must have already made it to the secret place. He laughed at the fact that Ventus hadn’t even noticed he was no longer being followed and took a step forward.

His whole body was screaming. He went limp and collapsed, his legs folding underneath him and fingers scrambling desperately for purchase in the sand. His head felt like it was splitting open, fear freezing in his veins. His senses failed, and all he could feel was his heartbeat in his ears and hysterical breaths ripping through his chest. What was happening to him?

Suddenly, it all stopped. He clambered to his feet, breathing hard, as he immediately understood. Ventus. He’d been feeling Ventus. Vanitas had experienced his upset emotions before, but nothing like this. This was sheer and all-consuming terror. Something was extremely wrong.

He summoned his keyblade and bolted for the secret place without a second thought, trailing Unversed behind him. He hadn’t lost control over his Unversed in years, but he had more important things to worry about.

His boots made a regular thumping sound on the packed dirt floor of the passageway, echoing his rapid heartbeat. It was dark, but he’d never had problems seeing without light. One of the few perks of his situation. He chuckled breathlessly at the thought, trying unsuccessfully to suppress his building panic.

He skidded into the secret place, eyes immediately locking on to the body on the floor as his shattered heart leapt into his throat. His brother’s eyes were half open, and he lay in a pool of his own blood, motionless. Vanitas *screamed*.

“*Ventus!*”

“*He’s not dead, you know.*” Vanitas looked away in alarm, searching for the source of the deep voice. It was a hooded figure turned away from him and towards the wooden door at the far side of the room. Vanitas raised his keyblade with trembling hands and growled.

“What did you do to him?”

The figure just laughed and raised a covered arm. Shadows appeared all around Vanitas and peeled themselves away from the ground, growing in size until they towered over him. Long, spindly arms. Crooked and trailing antennae. Unblinking eyes glowing a sickly yellow in the darkness.

Neoshadows.

He froze in terror, holding his keyblade in a defensive position, but the Heartless ignored him and went after the Unversed already filling the room, ripping them apart, tearing them limb from limb and wringing their necks, slowly, purposefully. Their deaths came back to Vanitas in a torrent of searing agony, bringing him to his knees, gasping for air, without so much as a touch. 

He dropped his keyblade and it shattered. Seeing him unarmed, the Neoshadows descended on him, wrenching his arms behind him, long, sharp fingers curling around his neck and slicing his skin. Claws ripping into him everywhere, twisting in his wounds and holding him down as his blood dripped to the floor. He tried not to scream again, not wanting to give them the satisfaction of knowing he was suffering, but a distressed sob escaped his throat anyways.

This was torture. The Neoshadows were avoiding serious injuries, instead inflicting pain like he hadn’t felt in years. There was no way this was natural Heartless behavior. They were being controlled by the hooded figure. Vanitas stared at it, utterly petrified. He desperately wanted to fight back, but his body wasn’t responding. He couldn’t even struggle against the Neoshadows’ unrelenting grip. His pathetic fear of them had come back in full force, and he was willing to bet Ventus had the same reaction earlier.

A chill ran down his spine as he thought about it carefully. There was only one person who would know about *that* incident.

“... X-xehanort?”

The figure turned around, but Vanitas couldn’t see into its hood. “*My name is Ansem, but I was once called Xehanort.*”  It chuckled, low and malicious. “*It has been such a long time, my dear apprentice.*”

This couldn’t be happening. There was no way this was real. He was safe here, he... he’d *been* safe, he’d been *free*. He’d had a normal life, a family; he’d been... happy. But it was all slipping through his fingers as he watched in misery.

“*Look at you, Vanitas. All grown up and mature...*” One of the Neoshadows ran its hand down his face, leaving a slit through his lip with its trailing claws as it caressed him. It made him feel sick. “*The years have been kind to you without me, have they not?*”

He tried not to hyperventilate. “How did you f-find me?”

“*It is but a simple matter to find one with the mark of the Recusant’s Sigil on their heart.*”

“Th-the recusant’s...?”

Oh.

*Oh no.*

Vanitas had a myriad of scars littered across his skin, both from battle and from cruel discipline, but by far the deepest were a pair of intersecting gashes that spanned the entirety of his back. They had been carefully and painfully carved into his flesh time and time again, and even after a decade they hadn’t faded. He had thought they’d been compelled by thoughtless sadism, but he realized now that they formed a recusant’s sigil, the intersection of which lay directly over his heart.

Xehanort never did anything thoughtlessly. He’d been branding Vanitas, marking him as his... *property*, making certain he’d never be able to slip from his clutches.

Vanitas’ heart sank. The past ten years had been for nothing.

He’d never escaped at all.

The hooded figure drew closer, observing him. Its cold voice permeated the air between them, twisting its way into his ears until he could hear nothing else. “*A being of pure darkness... how utterly fascinating. Surely, leaving you behind was one of the worst mistakes I ever made.*” He felt the Neoshadows tighten their grip on him possessively, and his breath hitched in his throat. ”*But it’s a mistake I intend to correct. It’s finally time to return to my side, Vanitas. Imagine all the great things we could accomplish together.*” 

“N-no.”

The figure came to a halt. “*... What was that?*”

Vanitas bared his teeth, ignoring the sting of his split lip and glaring up into the dark hood. “I said *no*!”

The figure waved its arm and the Neoshadows roughly forced his head down until he was bowing, staring at a growing puddle of his own blood. Their claws sunk even deeper into his neck. He had to struggle to stay conscious through the pain and panic, trying to breathe but failing miserably.

The voice was absolutely venomous. “*You misunderstand the situation. I wasn’t giving you a choice, boy.*”

Vanitas felt bitter tears collect in the corners of his eyes. He’d thought he was better than this. He’d thought he had gotten stronger, able to put his past behind him, and yet here he was, practically a child again, forced to his knees in anguish in front of Xehanort and completely helpless. Nothing had changed. He couldn’t protect Ventus, who was still unconscious and bleeding on the floor next to him. He couldn’t even protect himself. There was nothing he could do anymore. Nothing at all.

Tears dropped to the floor, mingling with his blood, swirling in sickening patterns as he watched, his vision blurring. He squeezed his eyes shut, choking out a desperate plea. “P-please... just... d-don’t hurt Ventus anymore... I-I’ll... I’ll do whatever you want.”

“*Excellent. I’m looking forward to it. Your first task is to bring Ventus to the castle in Hollow Bastion and wait for me there. You’ll be supervised by the Neoshadows for now.*” He could hear the cruel smile in the voice as it whispered in his ear, the rest of the world melting away around him. “*Well? What do you say, Vanitas?*”

He felt numb.

“... Yes, Master.”

[]

Riku threw Soul Eater down in frustration. They clenched their hands into fists. “Fight *back!*”

Their knuckles impacted solidly on Vanitas’ cheek, but he just slackened and slid to the floor, hair falling around his face. He made no move to get up. “Riku...”

Riku felt tears pricking at the corners of their eyes and slammed them shut as they kicked Vanitas in the side. “I said fight back, you *idiot*!”

His voice was quiet and strained. “I don’t want to hurt you, Riku.”

“*Then why’d you hurt Kairi?!*” Riku tried to shout, but their voice cracked halfway through.

“I - I didn’t mean...” He swallowed hard and with some difficulty, looking at Riku imploringly. “They already have you and Ventus... I... I couldn’t let them have Kairi, too.”

Riku choked out a laugh. “Nobody ‘has’ me! I’m here because I want to be!”

Vanitas only seemed more distressed. “You’re being manipulated, Riku, we all are! The Master’s grooming you to be his new vessel!”

“*I DON’T CARE!*”

Vanitas was taken aback by the outburst, but Riku just kept yelling.

“I *don’t* care, I don’t!” They were really crying now, tears angrily streaming down their face. “I want to be *strong!* Strong enough to protect myself, and strong enough to protect Ventus and Sora and Kairi! Strong like *you*, Vanitas!”

Vanitas lowered his head. “I... I was never strong.”

“You’re right,” Riku croaked. “You’re *weak*, I see that now. I’m weak too, aren’t I?” They sank to their knees, laughing and weeping bitterly. “Sora and Kairi don’t need me anymore. And I’m not even worthy of my own keyblade. The darkness is all I have left. I’m just like you!”

[]

“They’re both important to me.”

“Remarkable, then, that you’ve managed to lose both of them through your foolish actions.”

Vanitas gave Ansem a hard glare. “I swear, I won’t let you or any of your dumb Heartless lay another finger on Ventus. But Kairi...” He looked at her lifeless body, still crumpled on the floor. His stomach turned. “She’s better off without me, anyways.”

Ansem coolly considered him for a moment, thinking. “Well, Vanitas, you may be a fascinating creature, but frankly, I’ve already got all the data I need. And if you’re refusing to follow orders...” He shook his head in mock disappointment. “Then it seems you’ve outlived your usefulness. However...” He smirked. “I do have an idea for one last test.”

Vanitas scoffed, looking away. “I won’t do it.”

Ansem stepped closer, crushing a Thornbite under his boot and chuckling as he saw Vanitas flinch. There was clear amusement in his voice when he spoke. “Don’t worry, it’s a very simple observational study. It doesn’t even require your active participation.”

He retrieved Soul Eater, pressing the tip against Vanitas’ neck, just carefully enough to avoid drawing blood. Vanitas involuntarily went limp as the sword tilted his head upwards, the sharp blade threatening to dig into the exposed flesh below his chin while his dull yellow eyes met a pair of cold teal ones.

Looking at the unfamiliar expression on that familiar face, he realized he could never fight back, not against Riku’s body. Not against this child who was still precious to him. He was powerless. Just as he had always been.

A foreign, vicious grin spread across Riku’s - Ansem’s - face. “Let’s see how much it takes to *break you.*”

[]

“But you’re a creature of pure darkness. A monster.” She leveled her keyblade at him. “This is where you belong.”

He laughed, but to Aqua’s surprise, it didn’t sound at all the way she remembered it. When they had fought, his laugh had been a taunting sound, hysterical and malicious.

The way he sounded now was... heartbroken.

Instead of raising his keyblade, he dropped it, falling to his knees and slumping over, clutching at his chest. “You’re right, Aqua... Th-this *is* where I belong...”

Aqua let her keyblade lower slightly, confused. She hadn’t been expecting him to agree with her, much less with so much sadness in his voice. “What?”

He laughed again, shuddering violently, then without warning his head drooped and he fell sideways. He hit the sand and went completely still, his breathing slowing.

What in the name of Kingdom Hearts was going on? *Vanitas*, of all people, shows up in the Realm of Darkness, has the gall to act surprised to see *her*, then passes out? She was tempted to just leave him there and go on her merry way, but it had been so long since she’d seen another person (although applying the term ‘person’ to Vanitas was questionable) that she decided to have a look.

She carefully approached, wary that he might be faking it. That certainly seemed like something he would do, pretend to be unconscious until Aqua got close enough for him to execute a surprise attack. But there continued to be no indication that he was awake. She even had to kill a few Unversed that were poking around his body.

Aqua used the toe of her shoe to flip him onto his back. To her shock, the action left behind a horrifyingly large bloodstain in the sand. She took a sharp breath as she knelt down beside him, checking him for wounds as best she could through his thick bodysuit. From up close, the coppery stench of blood was nearly overwhelming.

He was bleeding profusely from a gash on his neck, running vertically from his chin all the way down to the middle of his chest. Aqua’s heart skipped a beat as she found a series of almost methodical cuts across his torso and arms. These weren’t made by the indiscriminately attacking Heartless. He’d been deliberately hurt by somebody, and badly. It was a wonder he was even still alive.

She cast a Curaga without a second thought. He may have been an evil brat, but she wasn’t about to leave him to die.

His breathing evened out and Aqua felt herself relax slightly. She settled back on her heels, wiping the blood off her hands. For a moment, she just sat there, contemplating her sleeping enemy. Although she had said he belonged here, in truth, she had no idea how he’d ended up in the Realm of Darkness, let alone with so many injuries. What had happened since the last time she defeated him?

Vanitas continued to lay quietly inert while Aqua’s curiosity grew. She cautiously placed a hand on his helmet, remembering when she had fought him in... what was the name of that city, again? She had nearly removed his mask before he’d yelled at her and run away. But if he was really out this time...

Taking a deep breath, she gingerly pulled the helmet off, exposing a cascade of messy black hair and, beyond that... a face, wet with tears and blood and marred by bruises and old scars. Aqua’s shoulders fell in surprise. He looked just like those boys she had met here not so long ago: Sora and Ventus, if she remembered their names correctly. Perhaps Vanitas had been telling the truth about being Ventus’ brother. She wondered if they’d ever found each other, and, if they had, whether Ventus had made it out of the encounter alive.

Aqua found herself brushing hair from Vanitas’ forehead in spite of her distaste for him. Aside from too-sharp teeth and a pair of pointy ears sticking out from his tangled hair, he could nearly pass for human. She sighed, her eyebrows furrowing. Had he really just been a child this whole time? A child who did horrible things, but.....

Well, he certainly wasn’t a child anymore. He was still pretty short, but he was unmistakably older than he used to be, probably even older than herself. And if his strange behavior was any indication... *maybe* he’d changed. It seemed unlikely, though, especially if he was still running around as Xehanort’s apprentice.

What had happened to Xehanort? To Terra? Aqua was desperate to find out, and Vanitas could be her only chance. If she could manage to wake him up without him trying to kill her, that is. She looked around for something to restrain him with, but, finding not much more than sand and coconuts, she resorted to using her sash to fasten his hands together behind him. It would most likely end up being useless, but it was better than nothing.

A barrage of freezing water against the bare skin of his face. Hands roughly pulling him upright as he coughed, attempting to clear his lungs. He tried to get away, protect himself, *something,* but he couldn’t move his arms and he panicked. His coughing soon turned to gagging, black bile forcing itself through his throat before he could even think.

The hands quickly drew back while a voice he didn’t recognize cursed loudly. The muck splattered on the ground, writhing in agony as beady red eyes formed within it. A keyblade was on it in an instant, sending a jolt of pain through his chest as the fledgling Unversed was destroyed. “*Light,* Vanitas, what is *wrong* with you?” He couldn’t answer, shaking and gasping as he struggled to calm down and remember what was going on.

The hand reached for him again, and though he tried to flinch away, it caught his shoulder and squeezed firmly. “Hey, relax. I’m not gonna hurt you unless you attack me.” It definitely wasn’t the Master, then.

“H-hurts when the... Unversed are k-killed, though...” The other voice said some more words he wouldn’t dare repeat in front of the kids.

Oh. The kids...

Water dripped down his face as his vision cleared, washing blood and black sludge away with it. He could tell that his hands were tied behind his back, although considering his history with the person he’d run into, who was now sitting in front of him looking perturbed, that seemed fair. “Aqua?”

“Yeah? What?” She narrowed her eyes as though he’d said her name as a challenge.

Vanitas could no longer feel the injuries left by Ansem in his last assault. “Did... did you heal me?”

She sighed, sweeping wet hair out of his face as he shivered. “Don’t take it personally. It’s so lonely down here that I didn’t feel like letting you die, that’s all.”

[]

“You mean...?”

Say it. Get it out in the open. It hurt less that way.

“... Yeah. Xehanort abused me.”

She looked horrified. “For *years?*”

He stared down at his shoes. “Yep...”

Aqua’s face cycled through several shades of upset before settling on disdain. “And is that supposed to make me feel sorry for you?” It was pretty obvious she *was* pitying him, but Vanitas didn’t call her out on it.

“I’m well aware it doesn’t excuse what I did to you.” He locked eyes with her earnestly. “I don’t know if you’ll care, but I’m sorry. *Really.* I was hurt and mislead, but that doesn’t make it right.” He looked down again, curling in on himself. “I can understand if you won’t forgive me.”

After a minute of awkward silence, she huffed and turned away. “Well, you’ve certainly become more mature. I wasn’t expecting to ever get an apology out of you. I... appreciate it, I guess.”

“... You’re welcome?”

They sat quietly for a few moments while Aqua contemplated something. Eventually, she faced him again in concern. “What I still don’t get, though, is what reason you’d have to go back to Xehanort *now.* You seem like you’ve become a semi-decent person, so I doubt you’re in it for the apocalyptic aspect, and he treats you terribly and nearly *killed* you when given the chance, so... why?”

He broke eye contact. “I... didn’t have a choice. He took Ventus, and I...” He took a shaky breath. “I *can’t get away* from him, Aqua. He’s constantly tracking me. He knew where I was this whole time, and he just... let me *think* I was free until he wanted his... f-favorite toy back...”

He could almost feel the weight of the sigil on his back curling around him like a vise.

Aqua’s hard expression finally broke. “Vanitas...” She took a deep breath as well. “For what it’s worth, I... I’m sorry, too. For being rude and calling you a... monster.”

He scoffed. “It’s not like it was unwarranted.”

She shook her head. “Maybe not, but I’m sure it didn’t help. I let my anger get the best of me and I didn’t see you were hurting. So... I’m sorry.”

He felt very small then. “... It’s fine.”

Ch 16 pics I never posted cause spoilers

A bit embarrassing though jfhsghd. I generally don’t post my gratuitously angsty/edgy stuff

Xion intro scene

[Notated for edits which I never made]

She chewed her lip nervously, twisting her hands in the hem of her dress. The lower levels of the castle always put her on edge. People in white coats stared at her expectantly as they all pretended not to hear the scary noises coming from deeper in. The silver-haired man who called himself Ansem but was *not* Ansem asked her about her new friend while the one-eyed guard smirked behind him. She didn’t tell the silver-haired man anything. He sighed.

//add

She sat down in the big chair and worried. The man who was not Ansem hadn’t asked to see her in a while, not since soon after the other Ansem had left and the silver-haired man had taken his name. The new Ansem wasn’t as nice as the old one. He’d sent the one-eyed guard to her house very early this morning, and she hadn’t even gotten a chance to tell her friend that she’d be busy today. He’d be upset. He didn’t like being alone. He was -

He was completely alone. He’d been used to being alone, a long time ago. But it felt so *different* this time. This time, he had known what it was like, to be happy, to actually be loved and wanted. And the stark absence of that almost hurt more than anything else.

Almost.

/*The dark claws ripped him apart slowly, almost reverently,*/ as if watching him suffer in their grip was the most fascinating thing in all the worlds. Maybe it was, to Ansem. The creature may have been calling itself his Master, but it seemed more inclined to research rather than actually teach, and the constant threat to the lives of the others caught in its clutches (and his own *pathetic* cowardice) left him a perfectly cooperative subject for its study. Though he couldn’t imagine what this sort of sadistic exercise was actually supposed to achieve, other than leaving him broken and empty.

Then again, maybe that *was* the point. What /*new and interesting thing*/ would Ansem find when it examined his heart? A battered shell, the already shattered remnants of another torn out and ground to dust until all that was left was a hollow, dark void? It wouldn’t surprise him, honestly. It already felt that way.

A sudden streak of agony shot through him as the claws sunk deeper, and he desperately tried not to scream, choking down his sobs as silently as he could. He’d promised himself that he’d be quiet, because otherwise *Riku* would hear, and then -

Who was Riku? She didn’t know a Riku.

She fidgeted, a bit confused. She could tell she was still laying in the chair, but it felt far smaller than it had previously. Or maybe... *she* had somehow grown much *bigger!* She giggled at the realization. If she showed up to the courtyard like this, she’d nearly be as tall as her friend -

He was a little too small. He almost laughed bitterly at that through the pain. He’d already been unfairly short; now he might even be able to properly share clothes with his closet-raiding (spunky, sassy, precious, perfect, *missing, in danger, better off without him*) sister -

*Vanitas!*

*Kairi...*

She beamed with happiness.

He wept in anguish.

His tears ran down her grinning face as he opened her eyes, and nothing had changed. She was still in that horrible room, in that horrible chair, with the silver-haired man that was and was not Ansem staring at him. She brought a hand up to his cheek, surprised to find it dry, with only the ghost of a smile and a faint memory of sorrow left.

He looked down at her unfamiliar hand, catching a glimpse of her hair out of the corner of his eye, shorter than his but a different color than hers. It... it wasn’t right. None of it was right. He trembled, carefully studying the rest of her. Everything was just a little bit wrong. She wasn’t quite him, but he wasn’t quite her, either. She could feel the panic and confusion bubbling up in his chest.

Who was she?

Who was he?

...Who were *they?*

//add

The awful man who was and was not Ansem smiled coldly at them, and gave them their name.

*...Xion.*

The one single Destiny Islands slice-of-life-ish drabble I started one time

Vanitas huffed into the pillow in his arms and pressed further into the corner where his bed met the wall, as he often did. [] He felt the pressure of several unmanifested Unversed threatening to tear themselves free, the incessant prickling of one escaped Thornbite’s vines curling around his ankle - or wait, maybe his foot was just falling asleep from putting pressure on it weird - and the unmistakable beginnings of a tension headache. Fantastic.

He opened one eye at the sound of his door creaking open (he did *not* tense up, he *didn’t*; he’d have to be an idiot to think there was any need to) and caught sight of a sliver of dim light from the hallway growing briefly and then shrinking back to nothing with a careful click of the door handle. He barely had enough time to process what that had been before there was a gentle tug at the one corner of his sheets that was still hanging off the far side of the bed, a wet sniffle, and a whisper.

“Vanitas?”

“What.” He replied flatly, trying not to be *too* annoyed that Kairi had showed up to interrupt his brooding.

“H-had a bad dream...” Kairi paused to take an unsteady breath, rubbing at her eyes with a blanket she’d dragged there with her. “C-can I..?”

He sighed and turned to face the wall. “Whatever. Not like I’m using that side of the bed anyways.”

Kairi stuttered out her thanks. Then with some effort, she hoisted herself up and onto the bed, pulling her blanket up after her, and situated herself in the empty space. Vanitas laid still, listening to her quiet sniveling as she tried to settle down and also blow her nose.

After a few ineffective minutes of this, he grumbled and pushed his irritation away as a small Flood. (Just to get rid of it. Obviously. Might even lessen his headache, if he got lucky for once.) It zipped straight to Kairi, nosing at her face and making her giggle just the tiniest bit. It flopped down beside her as she scratched the back of its neck and pet it gently, and it started warbling contentedly in a way that *aaaalmost* sounded like purring. Tch. Smug little bastard.

Vanitas was... still not quite used to receiving positive feedback through the link he shared with his Unversed, and the phantom sensation brushing up and down his own spine was bizarre, to say the least. It also felt *really* nice though, unfortunately, and he just barely managed to catch himself before the tension would’ve dropped from his shoulders entirely. Kairi hummed mildly behind him and tickled the underside of the Flood’s jaw, making him scowl even harder into his pillow. He heard a few quiet chuckles find their way through the sniffles. Ok yeah, she knew *exactly* what she was doing.

“So, any particular reason you decided to bother *me* instead of your parents?”

Kairi stilled at that, wrapping her arms around the Flood like it was a stuffed animal. “My dream... it was, um. Of home.” Vanitas peeked back towards her apprehensively, catching sight of her quivering lip and still-runny nose. “Of when we left.”

“Do you... remember it?“

Kairi shook her head. “I forgot after I woke up. It was... s-scary, though...” She squeezed the Flood a little tighter. “You got hurt real bad then, didn’t you?”

He hummed noncommittally in response.

“My grandma, the other kids, everyone...” Fresh tears welled up in her eyes. “Do you think anyone else made it out, or are they all... d-did they...?”

Vanitas looked away. “...I don’t know.” He very nearly caught the inside of his cheek between his teeth. He’d been utterly useless during the attack on Radiant Garden. *Worse* than useless; he’d barely escaped with his own life. And in the end, he hadn’t even really saved Kairi, had he? “...S-sorry...”

[]

“And what have I done to deserve it?”

[]

“Would *anything* be different if I’d just-“

*If I’d just died that day at the graveyard like I was* meant *to?*

“...I-if I’d never made it to the city?”

Interstitial of Sora talking to the folks at Traverse Town about Vani

“Why, if it ain’t Squall” - Leon grimaced but didn’t correct him - “an’ Yuffie. Heard you two beat up some kid earlier?” Cid raised an eyebrow.

Yuffie placed a hand over her heart in mock supplication. “For once, I am innocent.” Then she grinned as she elbowed Leon in the side. “This one was all Leon.”

“Sora here claims to know the...” Leon’s brow furrowed as he looked away. “Uh...”

“The cryptid!�� Yuffie helpfully supplied.

This did not seem to help Leon. “...Right, that thing.”

Cid almost looked surprised for a moment, but quickly turned dour, squinting at Sora, who was casually standing with his hands behind his head, entirely lost as to what they were talking about. “Well that’d be one heckuva coincidence. Ya sure about that, kid?”

“Uh. Maybe?” Sora wasn’t sure where this was going, but Leon was looking between him and Cid expectantly, so he continued. “What do they look like?”

Cid chewed thoughtfully on his toothpick. “Black hair, yellow eyes, would be... oh, maybe ‘bout Squall’s age nowadays? An’ always had those weird li’l buggers with the red eyes - not Heartless, but kinda similar.”

“Oh!” Sora started in recognition. “Looked kinda like me?”

“Yeah, picked ‘em up off the street ‘bout ten years back. Real piece a’ work, that one. Darn near took my head off trynna get away after they finally woke up.”

[]

“Got the feelin’ he was expectin’ every hand to hurt instead a’ help. An’ looked to me like he learned that from experience, if y’know what I mean. Not too uncommon for kids ya find on the street, but he was worse off than most I seen.

Welp, that’s about it! Asks are always open but I can’t guarantee I’ll answer them. I also usually don’t respond to comments anymore just cause my fics are so old and hard to think about. Thanks for understanding!

[blowingoffsteam2]

Removing my soriku lenses for a sec: even if the tunnel visions were about Kairi, it makes me mad FOR her. The game could have easily set her up to sacrifice herself to save Sora. She even had a whole scene prior about how she was going to keep him safe, her sacrificing herself would have been a decent narrative. But she just… gets caught and dies lol. So like, going back to the visions, are we as the viewer supposed to interpret Sora seeing those visions to be about him sacrificing himself for her? Like was he just prepping himself up in advance in case he needed to save her? If anything, it would have made sense for him to have those visions after the final battle before he sets off to save her. So now we have Riku sacrificing himself, Kairi dying, Sora sacrificing himself, and now Riku going to save Sora. What am I supposed to think lol

All I can say is that if we are supposed to read S and K as a romance especially in kh3 then Nomura really is as abysmally bad at writing romance as people say (well, and even worse than many people think). To the point where I think it's actually insulting to Nomura to think that he's THAT bad lmao. Like for example the paopu scene. How does one mess up what should have been the easiest layup of romantic scenes in history- Starting the scene with having Sora worrying about Riku instead of paying attention to Kairi who he is sitting alone with on a tree overlooking a romantic sunset, then having a team of animators making him have Those expressions when offered a paopu, not taking it until being reassured that it's just a good luck charm, nothing more, recording a version where they don't even share the paopus, AND failing to tell Sora's own voice actor that it was in fact supposed to be romantic at any point, so he felt the need to say that he doesn't see it as romantic??? I'm sorry but all that cannot be satisfactorily explained by "haha Nomura bad at writing romance". Like there's badly written romance and then there's narratives that look like badly written romances until you realize it's SUPPOSED to not make sense as a romance. ANYWAY back to the tunnel scene: Even in the novel which shows Sora's thought process through that scene, when he sees/remembers those moments and associates them with Kairi (which makes perfect sense for him to do since he doesn't remember Riku's sacrifice anyway, he has no other context for them) he NEVER thinks of them in terms of sacrifice or true love. All he thinks is "Oh, Rapunzel and Elsa/Anna are princesses of heart, so is Kairi. They have powers to save people they care about. I want to be able to do that too, but I guess that's why she was able to save me" So even IF the tunnel scene flashbacks were meant to be about Kairi, Sora himself still doesn't think about it in romantic terms lmao.

And yeah, I've also seen the argument that the flashbacks are supposed to be about Sora eventually sacrificing himself for Kairi, which I can kinda understand that reading? Except again, Sora himself didn't view those flashbacks as relating to true love or sacrifice- only about the princesses' powers and also it misses the whole reason for Sora's journey to the worlds in kh3: He was trying to learn how to regain the power of waking, and his clue, as stated in the kh3 ultimania and in the novel was: "To protect a precious person with all your heart". His heart was guiding him to these worlds to show him this. I don't think it's an accident that Sora regained his powers of waking when he dove into the Realm of Darkness to protect Riku, and lost his powers when he misused the PoW to bring back everyone else + Kairi. The power of waking is not meant for bringing people back from the dead, but something else we were shown in kh3 is.

[p-artsypants]

Rage Awakened (12)

In Which Sora Comforts Kairi

FF.net | Ao3

Ten years ago, Terra, Aqua, and Ventus lost their fellow apprentice, Sora, in Deep Jungle. Now, they are to return with two new students, Riku and Kairi, to lock the heart of the world. All the while, something watches from the trees. Feral!Sora AU

-

Kairi cried the entire trip home. It was agony to all those that were with her. Riku sat by her side, arm around her shoulder, while Sora rested his head on her lap. 

Sora grappled with his poor grasp of language. Through the words that he remembered and could understand, it sounded like Kairi’s home had fallen down. Did that mean the world collapsed? Or did her castle fall apart? He didn’t quite know, and he didn’t think it was wise to ask for clarification at the moment. 

Instead, he pressed his face into her stomach as he wrapped his arms around her waist. Truly, he wanted to cradle her in his arms, but she didn’t seem to want that, especially in front of everyone else. 

All Sora wanted to do was protect her and make her feel better. It might be the only thing he could do. He hasn’t had the chance to try. 

But he hadn’t had the chance to fail either, so that was okay for now. 

The Land of Departure was just as peaceful and serene as they had left it. Eraqus met them at the gate. 

“Welcome home. Did you have a nice dinner?” 

“It was nice,” Aqua said, reserved. “But—“ 

Eraqus noticed Kairi immediately when she got off the ship. 

“Oh no, what happened?” 

“Radiant Garden—it—she—…” Kairi clenched her eyes shut as more tears came. They just wouldn’t stop. 

“Ansem the Wise came to Disney Castle. Radiant Garden fell.” Terra provided.

Eraqus closed his eyes, a single tear falling from them in sympathy. “My sincerest apologies.” 

“Cmon Kai, the others can fill Master Eraqus in.” Riku squeezed her shoulder and led her into the castle. 

As soon as she was gone, Sora raised up to his full height and barked, “Help Sora!” 

“What’s wrong?” Asked Aqua. 

“Kairi home fall down? Can’t pick back up? Rebuild?” 

The collected group wilted a little at that. 

“No Sora, it’s not that kind of fall,” Terra explained. “The world was taken over by darkness.” 

“Ooooh,” Sora nodded his head sagely. “Swallowed.” 

“Not quite that, either,” Aqua clarified. “Radiant Garden thankfully can’t be swallowed, because its keyhole is incomplete. But the heartless moved in and kicked everyone out. All led by Maleficent. You remember that name, right?” 

“Dragon!” 

“Yes! Her! After her world was swallowed by darkness, she amassed an army and has been trying to conquer other worlds. Most of them get swallowed instead.” 

Sora summoned his gnarled keyblade. “Take Sora to Kairi home! Rip out dragon lady heart! Devour!” He snarled. 

The group stared at him wide-eyed. “Um, let’s not do that quite yet. We have to gather intel and find out what we’re up against.” 

Sora frowned, but dismissed his weapon. “Kairi hurt, so Sora hurt.” He said tactfully. 

Then Riku returned, without Kairi. “I took her to her room, but she wanted to be left alone.” 

“The girl hasn’t had time to cry by herself,” said Aqua. “Let’s leave her alone for the night.” 

“You’ve all had a very long day,” said Eraqus. “Why don’t we all get some rest. We can create a game plan in the morning.” 

Sora understood ‘long day’ and ‘rest’ and took it that the meeting was over. 

Since he was among humans now, and doing human things, he walked upright, toddling along and bringing up the rear of the group. He had to use his hands to climb the stairs, but was able to walk again inside. 

It had been so long since he was in this castle, that even though he remembered each room he walked in, he struggled with where they were. 

The castle was also a great deal smaller than he remembered. 

He followed Riku to the hallway where their rooms were and went to push on Kairi’s door. 

“No Sora, leave her alone for tonight, okay?”

Sora whined in his throat, but abandoned the door, opting to go into his room. 

It was dark, since night had fallen. The tarp hanging on the back wall rustled as the draft from the door hit it. Cold air came from that side of the room. 

The light from the hallway gave him enough to see by as he wandered around his old room. It didn’t really reflect him anymore, but he wasn’t quite sure who he was anyways. When you’re fighting for your life day after day, you don’t really get the chance to consider what things you like and dislike. What your hobbies are, what things you want to do. Only things you have to do. 

What need did he have for toys and Knick knacks? Why would he hold onto things for just beauty or sentimentality? 

Of course, Sora himself didn’t think like this anymore. More so just, ‘why is this here? How does this help me live?’ 

Later, he would ask Riku to help him toss the needless stuff away, but for now, he would rest. 

Rest on a bed. A mattress at that. 

He remembered the transition, all those years ago. Sleeping naked on the dirt, getting bitten by insects. It took him so long to figure out how to climb those trees and make a home in the canopy, where it was safer. Those early nights, he barely slept for every snap of a branch had him awake. Even up until recently, deep sleep eluded him. There was never a time to let your guard down in the jungle. 

Just here in his old room, in the Land of Departure, there was no threat, no impending demise. 

He struggled far too long getting out of his shoes, and even longer out of the too small clothes they had forced him in. His undershorts, however, were far superior to the loin cloth of Deep Jungle. This was a permanent change. 

He crawled into bed, making a nest with his blankets and pillow, and tried to get comfortable. The mattress was plusher than the pile of furs back in the jungle, and the blankets were soft instead of scratchy. Even the air was more pleasant, cool and dry. 

But his chest ached, because Kairi was hurting, and he could feel it. 

He slunk out of the bed, crawling along the floor until he reached the door. He peered out into the hallway glancing back and forth to check for the others. When the coast was clear, he scurried over to Kairi’s room and quietly turned the handle. 

Inside was very different from his room. She had a large bed with fluffy white sheets and a white lace canopy draped over it. She had a plush white carpet that was soft under his calloused knuckles. The walls were pink with gold geometric designs on it. The window had leaded glass, though it was too dark out to notice much. Finally, the room was illuminated by a nightlight that sent out cartoonish stars and moon shapes on the walls and ceiling. 

Kairi laid on the bed, face down, still in her party clothes, even her shoes. 

Sora shut the door gently behind him. 

“Kairi? My Kairi?” He chirped. 

She startled, looking at him, before she relaxed. “Oh Sora, you scared me.” 

“Sora leave?” 

“No, no you can stay. I think I’d rather like it if you stayed.” 

He crept closer until he was on his knees in front of the bed, resting his arms on the mattress. “Kairi hurt?” 

She nodded solemnly as she wiped her eyes with her hand. “I’m sure it’s hard for you to understand what happened.” 

“Sora knows. They tell. They…explain.” 

“Okay.” 

“Don’t hafta talk about it. Sora hold Kairi? Sora sleep with Kairi?” 

Kairi’s eyes widened as she looked at him. He was only in his underwear. Sleeping in the same bed as him was incredibly intimate, and she wasn’t sure it was appropriate. 

But she could really use the comfort. 

“Okay.” She sat up. “Let me just change into my pajamas.” She got off the bed and went to her dresser, pulling out a large T-shirt. 

Sora watched as she moved. 

“Don’t look!” She chastised. 

“Why?”

“I’m changing!”

He tilted his head, confused. “Change what?”

“My clothes?”

He was still confused. 

She sighed slightly, realizing that she was looking at Sora, the boy who hated pants. He had basically been naked when they met. Why would he bother with privacy?

“You’re not supposed to see me without my clothes on.” She explained patiently. 

He stared at her. “But Sora want to see Kairi without clothes.” 

She sputtered, wide eyed. He had no shame whatsoever. “Being naked…isn’t normal, you know? That’s why we make you wear clothes, remember? Being bare is something only really close people experience. Like husband and wife. You see?” 

“Kairi Sora best friend.” He stated like it was obvious. 

She sighed again, “look, I just…can you just not look? It makes me uncomfortable.” 

“Oh! Sora sorry!” And he firmly turned his back to her. 

She made a mental note. Sora didn’t care about what was normal, only what she wanted. Maybe it would extend to others in due time. 

Kairi slowly got undressed, occasionally looking at Sora, who very politely looked at the wall. 

Finally, she changed into a large t-shirt that reached down almost to her knees. “Okay, you can look.” 

Sora turned to see her, and his eyes lit up. “Cute!” 

She smiled at him. “Thank you.” She walked past him and crawled into bed, getting tucked under the sheets. Sora observed her, and did the same, laying on his back with the sheets pulled up to his chin. He moved his hand under the blankets until he found Kairi’s and held it. “Haven’t slept like this in long time.” 

“Are you comfortable?” 

He shifted slightly, and turned on his side. “Nest is warm, soft. More soft than furs.”

“You mean my bed?”

“Bed!” He corrected. “Bouncy.” He wriggled, making the bed move. 

“It is,” she smiled. 

“Sora hold Kairi now?” 

Kairi swallowed her nerves as she scooted closer to him, pressing her side against him. “This is…kind of intimate. Especially since we…well, we haven’t known each other long.” Kairi tried to remember that he has been in isolation for so long that he was probably touch starved. 

“Sora leave?”

“No, I don’t think I want you to leave. I’m just…nervous.” 

“Ner…vous?” 

“Yeah, it’s when you feel kind of scared, but only a little.” 

He pouted, his eyes widening in fear. “Sora scare Kairi?” 

“No, no not at all!” Well, maybe a little. “It’s just new. I’ve never slept in the same bed as a boy.” 

“Slept with Sora in tree,” he said casually.

“And I was nervous then too.” 

Sora wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer, so she was pressed to his chest. “This good?” 

The feeling of his bare skin and against her arm was so nice. Granted, she could feel his body heat through her thin shirt, but there was much to be said for skin on skin contact. 

However, among all these new and exciting feelings, there was something else. As she pressed her ear to his chest, she could feel his heartbeat. This felt wrong. Maybe to anyone else, the thump thump thump of his heart would sound the same, but to Kairi, a princess of heart, it felt ill. Diseased. It made her nauseous.

“Um…can I turn around?” 

She turned her back to him, not pulling away from his hold. His arms were warm, and his body was flush against her back. His hand rested on her tummy. 

“Sora say something, may hurt Kairi?” 

“You…want to say something, but you think it might hurt me?” 

He grunted. 

“You should tell me anyway. I’ll try to take it in the least painful way possible.” 

He nodded against her, laying his forehead against the crown of her head. “Sora…lose home too. Kairi and Sora have no home…together.” 

She rested her hand on top of his, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I understand, and you’re right. We’re together in this. Thank you.” 

Sora chuffed, a sound that was close to a laugh or a sign of excitement. 

“Goodnight Sora.”

“Night Night!���

–

Technically, Roxas was doing as his master instructed. He was given the task of finding the Princesses of Heart that were hiding in the fallen Radiant Garden, a place his master had renamed ‘Hollow Bastion’. Roxas knew in his head that the intent on finding these Princesses was to take them to Maleficent, since she was in charge of gathering them. But since his master had been so vague on termanology, it was up for interpretation. 

Once his Master found out how rebellious Roxas was, he’d probably be more specific with his commands. 

As it stood, Roxas decided to interpret ‘find the Princesses in Hollow Bastion’ as ‘find the Princesses and move them to a different world so they would be safe.’ 

He knew it would only delay the inevitable. A heart of pure light was extremely rare, and it was unlikely to go unnoticed for long. Still, Roxas was a chaotic soul and malicious compliance was his favorite game. 

He delved into the depths of the castle, where Maleficent would probably assume they wouldn’t be. Considering the lack of heartless patrolling the area, she assumed they’d be up around the living quarters. 

Roxas had never met the Princesses, but knew a few things about them. 1.) They’d been living in this castle since their worlds fell. 2.) They were not delicate little flowers. All of them had a life of hard work and chores before they became royalty. Cinderella and Snow White were practically slaves. They could handle themselves. 

But it had been three days since Radiant Garden fell and became Hollow Bastion. Who knows how they were fairing? Did they have food? 

He was in the boiler room. It was easily the largest room in the entire castle, with all the pipes that led steam up throughout the castle. The boiler was immense, the size of a house. It was covered in knobs and dials, and had a large grate in front that glowed red. There were dozens of smaller boilers around the edges of the room as well, all connected with snaking copper wires jutting out at odd angles and disappearing into the ceiling. It was a little like a man made forest. 

Then, Roxas almost stepped on a sleeping bag. He started when he spotted it, and then knew he was close. There was a canteen, a book, and a half eaten baguette next to it. 

He walked the room, peering around the pipes. 

“Ventus? Is that you?” A sweet voice called from above. 

A young woman with dishwater blonde hair looked down from a hiding spot within a cage of piping. Then she gasped. “That coat! Oh no! Stay away from me!” 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay!” Roxas assured. “Are you one of the Princesses?” 

She frowned. “No, I’m just a scullery maid.” 

“Nice try, but Radiant Garden didn’t have scullery maids.” 

She pouted. 

“I’m Roxas. And I’m here to help.” 

“Why are you wearing that evil coat then? And why do you look like my friend Ventus?” 

Where to begin? “Do you know what a Nobody is?” 

“A person…that believes they have no importance?” She guessed. 

“Yes, but there’s a new kind of Nobody, one related to the Heartless. If a Heartless is a person that has lost their heart to the darkness, what do you think happens to the body left behind?” 

“I don’t know, I never considered it.” 

“It becomes a creature known as a Nobody. Nobodies created from people with extremely strong wills retain a human appearance.” 

“So then, Ventus–?”

“Is fine. My appearance being identical to his is…way more complicated than it should be. My somebody is Sora, a very young keyblade wielder who was lost to Deep Jungle. All you need to know is that I am a double agent. My master has commanded me to locate the Princesses of Heart, but Ansem the Wise asked me to help their cause. Ansem is my friend, and I wish to honor him.” 

The Princess considered this and decided to come out from her hiding place. Roxas watched as she strategically used ridges and ledges as handholds as she climbed down. When she stood in front of him, he noticed she was wearing a brown dress with a white apron. Not the ball gown he expected a Princess of Heart to wear. 

“If you are the shell left behind from a Heartless, that means you don’t have a heart, right?” She tilted her head to the side. 

“That’s what my master says, and sometimes, I believe it. But others…I don’t know if I just adopted Sora’s moral compass, or if I have a connection to a heart somewhere. Either way, I would like to take you to another world, where it is safe.” 

She nodded, “as long as I’m here, Maleficent will have a chance of finding me and using me to complete the keyhole.” 

“So, you know all about that?”

“Ansem the Wise told us.” She gave a little smile. “After I got my happily ever after with my Prince, I thought my adventure was over. Little did I know it was just beginning. My name is Cinderella, and I will go with you, Roxas.” 

He sighed a breath in relief. “Great! Where are Snow White and Aurora?”

She shook her head. “I do not know. We decided to split up so that we wouldn’t be found together. They didn’t tell me where they went. I can help you look?”

“That’s too risky. I need to be able to move around the castle under the guise of looking for you guys for Maleficent. If you’re with me, they’ll just take you.” 

“Alright. Then I will leave it to you.” She went over to the sleeping bag and picked up her book. “Whenever you’re ready, good sir.” 

He summoned a dark corridor, and then held out his arm. “Shall we?”

–

The corridor spit them out in front of a beautifully ornate, but abandoned, building. “Are you okay to walk a little ways?” 

“I’d love to! I haven’t been able to walk around in days!” 

He led her away from the mansion, and into the woods. Through the woods, into a crack in the city walls, and then into the town. 

“Oh how darling!” 

“Welcome to Twilight Town. Let me introduce you to some of my friends.” 

They walked through the Tram Common, through the Sandlot, and up into the back alley to the usual spot. There, luckily, Hayner, Pence, and Olette were gathered and talking. 

“Roxas, where have you been, man?” Asked Hayner. “We haven’t seen you in like a week.” 

“Work was crazy busy,” he laughed, “They’re working me to the bone.” 

“Oh right, your…what was it, pest control business?” 

“Basically. So, you know how I mentioned I visit another town pretty often?”

“Uh, Radiant Garden right?” Pence clarified. 

“Yes! So, weird story that’s probably more fairytale than you guys are prepared for, but the castle was overtaken by an evil witch named Maleficent. This is my good friend, Cinderella, and Maleficent wanted to use her for nefarious reasons. I brought her here because I had a feeling it would be difficult for her to be found.”

“Hello, it’s very lovely to meet you.” Cinderella held her hand out. 

The others greeted her warmly with hand shakes. 

“Do you guys think you could help her blend into town? I don’t know how long she’ll need to hide here.” 

“There’s a spare room at my house,” said Olette. “I’m sure my parents wouldn’t mind her staying with us.” 

Cinderella folded her hands over her chest. “Oh thank you! I don’t mind working for my stay, either. I’m a very strong homemaker.” 

“Cinderella, I will only tell Ansem the Wise and Master Yen Sid where you are. But I’ll come to check on you on occasion.” 

“Thank you so much Roxas. When you find the others, you’ll let me know, right?” 

He saluted. “I’ll let you know the moment they’re safe. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to cover my tracks.” 

“Good luck Roxas! And the struggle tournament is coming up, so make sure you’re back in time!” 

“It’s a promise!”

[themelodicenigma]

KH3: Who saved Sora?

For the sake of clarity, and as a way to address those who are kind of abusing good natured ideas for their own gain—it really was JUST Kairi that actually saved Sora from being killed [”fading away”] by the Demon Tide. Riku wasn’t actually involved in that process directly/literally. And if we’re being specific, yes that is both heart/body since the terminology is both used in regards to what Kairi has done.

There is...this level where we think certain things for the sake of the notion of it, right? Even when it’s wrong? Kind of like a “you’re a little off, but you’ve got the spirit” kind of thing. We have mindsets like that to appease a good natured idea. In this case: “Well, it sounds good if BOTH Riku and Kairi were involved in saving Sora from death, so let’s go with that”. My reaction for the sake of not nagging is “Oh, we know that’s not right in the literal sense or how it’s really written, but I understand the sentiment.” But then, we can never have nice things. Someone HAS to come along and ruin it for everyone by taking it too far and trying to eliminate Kairi’s part in it, along with more “Riku is the light” narratives.

Really? You’re really going to compel me to....sigh

While I’m all about Riku’s character, we don’t want to abuse this in many ways—there’s also a way of which the application of Riku’s influence on Sora’s motivation absolutely DOES apply, but it has been misunderstood because of a misreading of Jiminy’s Journal/Gummiphone entries. To be completely honest, I wouldn’t be surprised if the long dead SRT and it’s many misinformation had created this, but to be fair, as I’ll explain later, it’s understandable given the visual of the completed journal.

But, really. I’m pretty sure epitexts like the Ultimania and Character Files also mentions this too, but the actual material in the game? That of between Chirithy, Namine, Sora himself, and Jiminy’s note? Nah, it really just tells you it’s Kairi, directly or something you understand by the information being revealed later. It isn’t just Sora’s body that she kept form fading away, but also that of his heart—she held these elements together for him to appear as he does in the Final World.

“But the Nameless Star reference—”, no no no lol

“Something is holding you here—refusing to let you go.” (Chirithy) | “Usually, only a heart can reach the Final World.” + “—your body was cast into this world as well” (Chirithy) | “She’s fighting with all her strength to keep you from fading away” (Namine) + “So, the reason I retained my form in this place—It’s because she’s holding you together” (Sora/Namine) | “Look for the light in the darkness!” (Chirithy) + “The light in the darkness. It was you. You’re the one who kept me from fading away.” (Sora) + “All I did was believe that you wouldn’t” (Kairi) [additional of Sora's epiphany of Kairi’s Princess of Hearts powers saving him as well]  | “Kairi never stopped believing in Sora, and the pure light within her—one of the New Seven Hearts—was what kept his heart from being extinguished.” (Jiminy’s Journal)

It’s just Kairi.

Sora’s conversation with Nameless Star is about essentially the power of belief, which that in of itself correlates to Kairi’s statement, sure, but Riku’s quote and how this applies to Sora’s motivation is NOT applied to why he is literally in the Final World. You could theorize that, without Kairi, Riku’s words would’ve made Sora’s heart appear just like the other Heart Stars in the Final world. However, the narrative and storytelling implication is that he really would’ve just completely perished if not for Kairi and her powers. It is very obviously written in a way that Riku’s words didn’t play a role in what was happening here, and him mentioning it to Nameless Star was more for her own belief as opposed to an explanation as to why he’s still there.

It obviously is a general encouragement for Sora’s will to keep fighting, including that of reviving all his friends. That’s a given, the advice kind of works that way. A better statement would be that Riku’s advice gave Sora strength just like Kairi’s own strength encourages him (though, that’s more written in the ENG version). But, where is a better look for the application of Riku’s words? We see the influence for the Nameless Star encouragement, yes, but the more ultimate application is that of the redoing of the initial Keyblade Graveyard sequence—we get this from Jiminy’s Journal/Gummiphone.

And this is where some people got a bit mixed up by Jiminy’s Journal. The meaning of Riku’s encouragement is used essentially as the foundation of our hero’s success in their 2nd chance in the KG, which fits perfect since Riku’s encouragement was meant for this struggle to begin with.

The “don’t ever give up will of a heart of light overturning the power of darkness” (or the more poetic version of the ENG) and the following descriptions of this belief in describing our Light hero’s efforts is what tells us exactly what purpose Riku’s words served ultimately in the game. e.g. the “So it was...”, “and so it was”, “and so it was”, etc. that you see being written there following the first paragraph? That’s all part of the same entry, it’s describing the 2nd chance of the KG sequence. The mistake is thinking that the “don’t give up/heart of light” entry was somehow related to the previous paragraph mentioning Kairi saving Sora. As I mentioned earlier, the mistake by readers is understandable in the sense that visually it can be confusing when you have the entire journal unlocked, but the actual entries of this part of the KG sequence—the “don’t ever give up heart of light” + the following “So it was” descriptions (this also includes the closing paragraph starting with “the many bonds we shared”) don’t show up until AFTER that whole sequence because THAT’S what it’s actually about, which is exactly how it reads once the initial confusion is cleared up. I actually discovered this myself by opening up the journal in that small moment right after Sora and Kairi come back from the light in the darkness scene, and then afterward once the 2nd chance part was over.

I mean, “Riku also saved Sora from fading” is a nice sentiment too, but it isn’t true, and even with as much as I shrug it off for the sake of fandom peace, using this as a weapon to devalue Kairi is where the truth actually needs to be said instead. Don’t get carried away and abuse nice things for, honestly, the sake of a ship. C’mon. If that isn’t the case for anyone confused by Riku’s involvement, great, there’s still a ton of other reasons why it shouldn’t be done either.

It’s been like...years. Since KH3. Why. Just why.

[currantlee]

The Shooting Star

(Ao3)

Sora has many questions about the strange girl who fell from the sky in a strange fridge. The only problem is that she won't talk to him.

~ 1.1k Words. Rated G (General Audiences). Written for SoKai Week 2022 (Day 5). Beta'd by FanficWriter827, thank you :)

Author's Note: I want to write a Stardust AU for SoKai at some point. However, so far it didn't work out, unfortunately. However, when I got the idea of little Sora asking little Kairi if she is a star, it was just too cute to pass up on writing.

Sora was worried about the strange girl he had found on the beach in that weird fridge . Despite him running to Mama immediately, and Mama doing everything she could to help, the poor girl still wasn’t doing any better. She hadn’t touched the food Mama had made for her, she hadn’t gotten up from the couch in the living room she was resting on for now, she hadn’t even talked. Not to Mama, despite how nice she had been to her, and not even to Sora. She was just lying on the couch and staring holes into the air.

Mama had told him to leave the girl alone. ‘She is very tired, and probably scared,’ she had told him. ‘Let her rest.’ But Sora couldn’t just leave her alone like that! He wanted to help the girl, he just couldn’t figure out a good way to do it.

“Sora?”

Mama walked into the living room. She had a telephone in her hand. “I have to go and get some groceries. Can you please look after her while I’m gone?”

Sora was proud. Usually Riku was the one looking after him while Mama was shopping for groceries, but he wasn’t at home right now. Ever since he had started going to school, he didn’t play with Sora as often anymore, and when he tried to help him with whatever he had to do for school once he came home, Riku always turned him down. ‘You’re too little to understand that,’ he always said, and it wasn’t fair because he was only a year older than Sora. ‘Maybe we can play later.’ If they actually did, it was never as fun as it used to be. Maybe school gave people a sickness that made them boring.

Well, at least Mama didn’t think he was too little to look after the girl, even though she would probably have asked Riku to look after both of them if he wasn’t at school. Sora was proud regardless. Maybe this would even convince Riku that he was in fact not too little to help him with his school stuff!

So he nodded. “Yes!”

“Thank you.” She handed him the telephone. “If anything happens, you call me, alright? Do you know how to do that?”

“Of course, Mama!” He pouted. “I’m already five!”

She chuckled. “I know, but I want to make sure you know what to do in case something happens,” she said. “I’m sure everything will be just fine.”

“Okay,” Sora nodded. “See you later, Mama.”

She gently ruffled his hair for goodbye and Sora giggled. He liked it when she did that.

He turned to the girl on their sofa. Surprisingly, she was looking at him now. Had she been watching him and Mama? Maybe she was finally getting better!

Sora smiled. He hoped they could be friends soon. It was getting very boring with Riku going to school every day, and being busy half the afternoon. He missed having a friend to play with all day.

He wondered what her name was, or where she came from. But most of all, he wondered why she had fallen from the sky in a strange fridge. Papa had told him and Riku a bedtime story about a girl who fell from the sky too once, but he hadn’t mentioned a fridge. It made him wonder…

“Are you a star?”

She looked confused.

“Because you’ve fallen from the sky,” Sora explained. “Papa told me and Riku – he’s my best friend by the way, but he is at school right now – anyways, Papa told us a story about a star who fell from the sky, and then it turns out the star is actually a girl. He didn’t mention a fridge though!”

“… Oh,” the girl who maybe was a star said quietly.

“Hey, you said something!”, Sora cheered, clapping his little hands together. Perhaps she was finally getting better after all!

“Do you have any cool powers?”, he wanted to know next. “Do you glow when you’re happy? Can you heal people? How old are you? Why did you arrive here in a fridge?” He had sooo many questions! But most importantly…

“What’s your name?”

The girl who maybe was a star looked at him weirdly, and for a moment, Sora was scared. Had he asked too much? Oh, did she even know how to talk? Mama had told him that there was more than one way to speak, but Sora had forgotten the word. Something with an L. Maybe she didn’t speak his way of talking then? How was he supposed to talk to someone who spoke completely different than he did?

Before he could think of something though, she started giggling.

Laughing meant that people were happy. So if she laughed, that was good. Sora smiled. Even if they couldn’t talk to each other, he was glad that he managed to make her feel a bit better…

“You’re funny.”

“Huh?”

Did… Did she just say something? For real this time?

“You can understand me?”

She nodded. “Yes.”

“That’s great!” He noticed that she had a bit of a weird way to pronounce the words, but that was okay. At least, this way they could talk to each other, and that meant it would be easier to become friends! “So… What’s your name?”

“Kairi,” she said slowly. Maybe she still struggled with speaking a bit. But that was okay. “Yours?”

“I’m Sora!”, he grinned. “Nice to meet you, Kairi!” He liked her name.

“So-ra,” she tried. Did his name sound so weird? Or was it just hard to say for her? “It’s nice.”

“Thanks,” he smiled. “I like your name too!”

For the first time since he’d met her, she actually smiled, and Sora felt his heart warming. Kairi had a pretty smile, he thought, and even though she wasn’t starting to glow like the star in the story Papa had told him, it was as if she started shining.

“You’re not actually a star, are you?”

She shook her head.

Surprisingly, that wasn’t as disappointing as Sora thought it might be. He had kind of been looking forward to seeing if she had any cool powers. But the most important thing was that she was doing better now. 

“That’s okay,” Sora said, before giving her one of his bright, wide smiles. “Welcome to Destiny Islands, Kairi!”

[phoenix-downer]

Touch Hunger Chapter 1

~1575 words. Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Touch Starvation. Set post-KH3, ReMind, and Melody of Memory.

Summary: After coming home, Sora isn't recovering like he's supposed to. Desperate for answers, Riku and Kairi take him to Aqua for help, and she draws on her experiences to figure out what's wrong.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 

Aqua was surprised to see both her pupil and her fellow master in the castle doorway. The sun had long since sunk below the horizon, and in its place were thousands of twinkling stars. It was late enough for Terra and Ven to be asleep, and she would have been too if not for her bedtime tea.

“Kairi? Riku? What’s wrong?” Clearly something was. Kairi's hair and clothes were disheveled, and Riku had dark circles under his eyes.

“It’s Sora,” Kairi explained. “Riku and I are trying everything we can to help him, but he’s not recovering like he’s supposed to.” She fiddled with her necklace. “I know I’m on a break from my training right now, but we thought maybe you could help?” 

“Of course,” Aqua said softly. 

“Thank you,” Riku said, then gave Kairi’s arm a squeeze. “I’ll go get him.” He took off in the direction of where the Gummi Ship must be parked, and Aqua turned to Kairi.

“Describe his symptoms to me,” she said as she ushered her student inside. “Starting from when he got back.” 

Kairi bit her lip. “He was really happy at first. Couldn’t stop smiling and laughing.” Her face flushed a little and she ducked her head. “His smile is always so beautiful.”

Aqua smiled, remembering how brightly he’d smiled at her after her rescue. “Absolutely.” They were in the kitchen now, and she seated Kairi at the table and put the kettle on for some hot water.

“But there was this sadness in his eyes,” Kairi continued, “and as the weeks went by, it got worse. He started withdrawing from us. He wanted to stick to his room, even when Donald and Goofy tried to visit. And now his mom says he spends hours in the bath or shower when he’s not laying under a pile of blankets.” 

Aqua frowned as she put tea bags in the mugs. It sounded like he was purposely isolating himself. 

Kairi rubbed her eyes. “I don’t know what to do, Aqua. I think he’s depressed, and I don’t know how to help him. He’s seeing a therapist back home, and it does seem to be helping some, so that’s why we’re so confused he’s still acting like this.” 

“Hmmm, maybe there’s something else going on, then. When I first got back, it took me a while to recover from my isolation. I was massively depressed, and that’s not something you recover from in a single day.”

Kairi’s face was very somber as she nodded. “That’s why I wanted to ask you. I can’t really imagine what it felt like, being alone for so long, your only physical contact from creatures or people trying to kill you. But you would understand, and so I thought…I thought we should bring him to you.”

At that moment, Riku rounded the corner, carrying a sleeping Sora. Sora’s face was twisted into a frown, even in sleep, and he was murmuring something under his breath. 

“His sleep isn’t restful?” Aqua asked. She put a hand to his forehead, and while he didn’t seem to have a fever, his skin was sweaty. And yet, he relaxed a little at her touch. 

“Sure doesn’t seem like it.” Riku readjusted his position. “Where do you want me to put him?”

“Maybe the Solar for now? Kairi and I can bring the tea when it’s ready.”

Riku gave her a puzzled look till Kairi came to the rescue. “Oh, she means the sitting room! ‘Solar’ is an old word for that type of room in a castle.” 

“So that’s what it’s called,” Riku said. “I forgot to ask before Terra, Aqua, and Ven went searching for Sora.”  

Once the tea was ready, they brought it to the Solar where Sora was now draped over one of the couches and wrapped in blankets. Riku was lounging on one of the chairs, a watchful eye on his slumbering friend. Kairi handed him a mug of tea, which he gratefully accepted, before settling in with one herself on another chair. Sora’s mug was left on the coffee table in case he woke up, and Aqua set hers down. She had work to do.

She knelt next to Sora and pressed a hand to his heart. He stirred slightly, the tension in his features easing. She frowned. That was the second time he had reacted to her touch like that. A theory was building in her head, and she needed to test it. She brought her hand to his head and gently pet it like she always did with Ven, and a soft whimper escaped his lips. 

“Oh Sora…” she said sadly. Why hadn’t she thought of this before? When she’d first come home, she’d craved one thing more than anything, and Sora must want it too. She turned to Kairi and Riku, for they could help him better than anyone else could. “I think I know what’s wrong.” 

Riku leaned forward. “You do?” 

“Is it some sort of curse or magic?” Kairi asked. “I looked in the spellbooks you lent me, but I couldn’t find anything.”

“Or the darkness, maybe?” Riku frowned and exchanged a worried look with Kairi. “I’ve been monitoring his darkness and I thought it was under control, but—” 

Aqua shook her head. “It’s not a curse or magic. It’s not the darkness either. What he really needs is simply…touch.”

She placed his hand in her hand to demonstrate, and his fingers curled around her fingers. Comprehension dawned on Riku’s face, but Kairi blushed and avoided Aqua’s eyes. 

“Riku, I know you’re not a very touchy-feely guy, and Kairi, I know you’re shy about your relationship, but give him a few more hugs here and there, okay? I think it would go a long way.” 

“This all makes so much sense,” Riku said. “Even when I was in self-imposed isolation I still had people checking up on me, plus I’m not very touchy-feely like you said.” He gave Aqua a half-smile, then frowned. “But Sora is, and he was all by himself for over a year. I think the effects hit him a lot harder than they did me.” 

At this Kairi looked up. “Effects of what?”

“Touch starvation,” Aqua said softly. Kairi looked stricken, so Aqua rushed to explain it wasn’t nearly as awful as the name made it out to be. “It’s when someone isn’t getting enough physical contact. Humans are social creatures, and we have appetites for more than just food. We need touch. We need each other. Even the biggest loner in the universe can’t bear to be completely alone. And Sora is anything but a loner, so I think that’s why he’s taking this so hard like Riku said.” 

Kairi’s eyes misted over, and her lower lip trembled. 

“Riku, excuse us for a moment,” Aqua said. She gently grasped Kairi’s hand and pulled her into the hall, and Kairi burst into tears. 

“It’s not your fault,” Aqua said softly, wrapping her arms around Kairi and holding her close. “You didn’t know.” 

“I thought he wanted his space,” Kairi choked out between sobs. “He withdrew from me and I didn’t want to push him.”

“I know. And he didn’t tell you, did he? So please, don’t blame yourself.” 

Kairi just cried harder. “I’m a terrible girlfriend.” 

“You’re anything but. And like I said, Riku and even his other friends should be giving him hugs too. His parents as well, though teenage boys aren’t given to being touchy-feely with their parents,” she said with a rueful smile. “If I had to guess, Sora’s in that stage where he’s too proud to ask for hugs from Mom and Dad. And he probably worries about being a bother to his friends. When I first got back, I was embarrassed by how…by how needy I was. Thankfully, Terra was as starved for physical contact as I was, so that helped. And Ven of course loves giving us both hugs.” 

“Still,” Kairi said, sniffing and wiping her eyes. “I should’ve noticed.” 

“Sora is the type of person who hides his suffering from his friends in the hopes it will spare them from further pain. He hasn’t realized yet that it just makes things worse.”  

“At least I know what’s wrong now.”

“You do. And it’s easy enough to remedy, thank goodness. Just give him more hugs. Hold his hand. Touch his arm. That sort of thing.” 

Kairi nodded. “Thank you, Aqua.”

“Anytime.” 

With that, they returned to the Solar to find Riku had scooted his chair to Sora’s couch and had his hand on Sora’s shoulder. He could hem and haw about how tough he was all he wanted, but he really was a big softie when it came to his friends.

He smiled at Kairi and Aqua. “He’s been stirring, and I think he’s gonna wake up soon. I’m getting kinda tired, so why don’t you hold down the fort till he wakes up, Kairi?”

She nodded. “Okay.” She took Riku’s place, and he yawned and stretched.

“I’ll be on that couch over there if you need me.” 

“Take one of the guest bedrooms,” Aqua said. “The one you stayed in before. Kairi, you too, your room is always open to you. And for Sora—”

“He’s staying with me,” Kairi said, cupping his cheek. “If he wants to, anyway.” 

Aqua exchanged glances with Riku and smiled. “Of course.” 

With that, she and Riku left the sweethearts alone.

[miss-tc-nova]

You Won - Sora x Reader

HI! First off, thank you so much for this request. I needed some more fluff in my life. Second, of course I had to pick Sora, Sora said the line! Okay, I didn’t have to but it felt so right! Third, I hope this lives up to your expectations. I had to mull it over for a while, but once I got it going it was fun. Please enjoy.

~~~~~

              “Okay, you can let go now. But don’t look yet.”

              Against instructions, I tighten my grip, pressing my face harder against the young man’s back.

              “Ugh! Sora!”

              “You’re gonna be okay. I promise.” A hand taps at my fists. “But please let go; you’re gonna squeeze my guts out.”

              I release him to slide my hands over my eyes. I feel him get off the massive, bike-like machine he calls a keyblade glider.

              “You’re not gonna leave me here, are you?”

              “No. I just need a minute.”

              “You know, when you go on blind dates, you still get to see the guy you’re going out with,” I say sarcastically.

              “What’s a blind date?”

              “Not this.”

              Sora laughs. “Just relax. I’ll be done soon.”

              Grumbling, I set in to wait.

              When I woke up this morning, I knew that my boyfriend had plans for us today; what I didn’t expect was for him to take me to an entirely different world.

              Once we got into a serious relationship, Sora kind of spilled the beans on his magical powers—meaning he started talking about wild adventures like a crazy person until Riku slapped him. I might’ve just let it slip and excused it as Sora’s wild imagination had Riku not overreacted. Once I picked the brunette out of the sand, I had to pry the story out of them. All of it was nonsense to me—a fairy tale they had made up or something—but Sora proved me wrong with the keyblade. In a matter of minutes, he got me believing in magic and that, maybe, other worlds really did exist. Well today he proved they did by taking me to one.

              “You’re not peeking, are you?” Sora calls, breaking into my musings.

              “No,” I groan.

              “Are you sure?” I can hear the smile in his accusation.

              “Yes, Sora, I’m sure.”

              “Good. I’m gonna pick you up.”

              “WhaaaAAAAAAA!” My arms immediately circle his neck when I’m lifted from my seat.

              His hold tightens. “Don’t worry. I got you.”

              Trusting Sora is as easy as breathing; so while I’m nervous and mildly uncomfortable, I keep my eyes closed and rest my face against his shoulder. A warm breeze washes across my skin. I can hear the dancing of leaves high above us and the song of a bird or two. I could probably fall asleep in the comfort of the moment if not for the fact there’s a surprise waiting for me.

              Sora’s arms shift, lowering my feet. I keep a tight fist of his shirt for a sense of stability.

              “Can I look now?”

              “Ye-No! Wait!” He takes my hand off his shirt before leaving me stranded.

              “Sora!”

              “Hold on!”

              I growl but let him run around a bit more while I’ve got my eyes closed. I can hear him fighting with something, frustrated growl and all.

              “Okay! Okay,” he says.

              “Can I look now?” It’s endearing that he’s trying to make it all perfect, but he got my hopes up that this blind thing was over, so I’m getting antsy.

              “Uh…Yeah! Now you can look.”

              The light is blinding yet only a few blinks fend off the brightness. Met with a beautiful scene, I awe. Trees tower high above, spreading their leaves to dapple shade on the ground. Green grass flourishes with patches of colorful flowers spread about. The weather is perfect and serene. This is a place I’d only seen in fairy tales.

              I’m definitely not on Destiny Islands anymore.

              Sitting in a shady spot of grass is a blanket with a basket, food containers, and even a little round vase with some of the wild flowers in it. Eyes roll because I should’ve known this would be a picnic. Beside the spread stands my boyfriend with the most excited, hopeful grin I think I’ve ever seen him wear.

              It takes two strides to wrap him up in an embrace. Excitedly, I ask, “When did you plan all this?”

              “Like two weeks ago.”

              “Two weeks?” Sifting through memories, I remember. Folding my arms, I say, “You mean when you told me Riku needed your help training?”

              “Yeah.”

              “Uh huh. You realize when you plan a surprise, you should probably tell the guy who’s supposed to be your alibi?”

              His smile disappears. “What do you mean?”

              “I mean that I found Riku in town and grilled him about what you were up to.” Sora’s eyes widen in horror. “That guy better be your best friend. I knew he was lying his little heart out but he made up some excuse on the spot and stuck to it.’

              Shoulders slump. “Aww, you knew?”

              I reply, “I knew something was up, but I didn’t know what…And then I kinda forgot about it.”

              “Pfft. You forgot?”

              I grin. “Yeah. So it’s still a good surprise.”

              Sora nuzzles his nose against mine. “Thank goodness.”

              Hands against my back pull me flush against him. Soft lips press into my cheek and proceed to drop little pecks as they trail to my neck. A giggle comes from the tickling sensation. Reactively, I lift my shoulder to push him away and he places one more on my nose.

              “I love you,” he says softly.

              “I love you too.” I return the cheek kiss. “So what’s for lunch today, lover boy?”

              “Oh! This place has great soup and amazing bread!”

              “Perfect. I’m starving.”

              As we eat, just enough sunlight sprinkles through the leaves to keep warm even in the shade. By the time the food is all gone, I can already see where this is going. Sora flops onto his side, resting his head in my lap. It takes minutes for his eyelids to start drooping. A tuneless hum floats through the air as I run my fingers through his hair. He drifts off in peace soon after.

              I can’t help glancing around at the sight I would never see on our home world, still enamored by the foreign beauty. And then I look back at Sora. For a guy from such a small world, he’s seen so much. I’m sure there are plenty of other beautiful sights than just this. I thought I was happy and content on Destiny Islands in its familiarity and security, but in this moment, I’m tempted to make Sora take me to another wonderous site. So I would have completely understood if he never returned to Destin Islands ever again.

              But Sora came home. Despite being able to run off on adventures that could last a life time, he went back to Destiny Islands, and I don’t understand why.

              “What’s wrong?”

              My eyes shoot down to the boy in my lap. Sleepy eyes blink his nap away.

              “Nothing. Why?”

              “You got a crease between your eyebrows.”

              I realize I’m frowning and relax. “I was just thinking.”

              “’Bout what?” he yawns.

              There’s nothing to be gained from asking my question—it’s in the past so it’s not like anything will change. Still, I want to understand the choice that changed my life.

              “Why did you go back to Destiny Islands?”

              “Huh?”

              “C’mon, Destiny Islands is pretty, but it’s just one sight out of probably millions out there. There’s so much out there to see, so why did you go back?”

              His blue eyes shift to the sky. “Well, like you said, there’s so much out there—more than I’ll ever be able to see in my whole life. It’s nice to go out and explore those new things, but sometimes, you just miss home. Besides, ever since I first saw you, I could always feel something pulling me back.”

              “I’m sorry what?” He gives me a toothy grin. “No, don’t grin at me. What are you talking about? Were you stalking me?!”

              “No! I just-…I mean-…”

              Tugging at his cheeks, I say, “Mean what? Spit it out!”

              He pushes my hands off, a blush dusting his face. “Uh, well, me, Riku, and Kairi wanted to get off the islands so bad, we started building a raft. They told me to find supplies and, while I was doing that, I saw you for the first time. You were sitting by the paopu tree and…I remember thinking you were the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.” Blood rushes into my ears. “I was gonna ask you to come with us…but I chickened out. Then stuff happened and I went to other worlds. But no matter what amazing things I saw, I couldn’t help comparing them to you—and you won every time.”

              My heart is fluttering in my chest at his confession. But Sora’s not done. He looks me in the eyes and, with complete seriousness, says, “I told myself if I ever made it back, I was gonna ask you out on a date.”

              A hand clams over my mouth while my dumbfounded brain scrambles for a response.

              Sora sits up, looking at me in concern. “You okay?”

              What comes from my stupid mouth is sarcasm. “You’re such a dork.”

              He protests, “Oh come on! Don’t you believe in love at first sight?”

              “No!”

              Sora scowls. As I’m coming down from the fluster, I can’t help smiling as I rest my palm against his cheek.

              “But I do believe in you. And your heart has never let you down before, has it?”

              The frown shifts to surprise and then cheeky glee. “No, it hasn’t.”

              “That’s all I need to hear.”

              Our lips meet in a tender kiss, rallying butterflies in my chest. He’s goofy and ridiculous and not always the smartest person, but Sora is the brightest person I’ve ever met. He’s my sunshine and I’ve never been happier. Knowing that he paused his adventures for me, I can’t even begin to explain how ecstatic—and bashful—that makes me. That emotion reaches my lips through a smile.

              Sora breaks away, mirroring the expression. “What?”

              “You’re amazing, Sora.”

              “Not as amazing as you.” I attempt to hide my face but he’s already caught on. “Aw, you’re blushing. What’s wrong, buttercup?”

              “Sora, stop,” I complain, not great with compliments. Blood is pooling in my cheeks; I can feel it.

              He’s laughing at me. “But you’re so cute.”

              “Sora!”

              Sora pulls my hands from my face, capturing me with those gleaming ocean eyes. “I love you.”

              I huff with a glance away. “I love you too.”

              A firm tug pulls me against his chest. “Good.”

[tiifalockhart]

Missing You

Anonymous asked: Can you please make a KH Sora x female reader oneshot? One where the Sora misses his crush so much that he starts dreaming of seeing her again. As he continues his quest to find the power of waking. He reminds himself that if he continues he’ll see her sooner. The sooner he sees her the sooner he can confess and share the paopu fruit with her. But the organization tells him that they have someone special to him. This causes Sora to get angry and ask them where is she?! They ask him how important is she to him. Sora would do anything for his crush. As soon as Sora sees you in front of Xehnort Sora screams her name. But before he could get to his love it was too late.

Anonymous asked: May I ask for a Sora x normal female reader oneshot? Where she doesn’t know about keyblades or heartless. Sora doesn’t want her to be involved with all of this. Because he’s afraid that she’ll get captured like Kairi does.

Pairing: Sora x Reader

Word Count: 3k

A/N: goodness, I’ve been working on this for about two weeks straight. I decided to mesh these two requests together because based on the content of both asks, I could muster up a pretty decent story from both of them. I hope this is okay!!! I really hope you enjoy reading this, I’ve worked on it for so long now haha

Ao3 || Masterlist

It had been so long since the last time you had properly seen Sora. You remembered the first time he went missing when the two of you were just kids. It was terrifying, he, Kairi and Riku suddenly disappearing without a trace. The fact that this was possible by a few kids was scary enough, but they left behind no clues. 

You remembered the adults of the islands were upset over this. They couldn’t seem to figure out why this happened. You found yourself conflicted and confused as well. Your three friends just.. Vanished into thin air. You remembered everyone spent so many days and nights out searching for the three of them, only to continue coming back with nothing. You ended up living in fear. What if they were taken by someone? What if they were coming after everyone on the island? It seemed everyone on the island was paranoid as well. 

It wasn’t until Kairi suddenly returned home when everyone’s nerves finally calmed down. You could never find it within yourself to carry on like everyone else, though. You didn’t really understand it, everyone was acting like Sora and Riku never existed. You asked Kairi about this several times; however, she had the same answer every time: ‘I don’t know.’ She’d answer that way to everything you asked. Eventually you and Kairi grew far apart.

It seemed like a lost cause to try and ask around. No one seemed to remember Sora, and Riku ended up never returning. You grew concerned. Something really bad had to of happened, but there wasn’t any way for you to find out.

...Until you started dreaming about it.

-

Sora couldn’t remember the last time he felt at peace since leaving Destiny Islands. While this adventure was amazing and fun at times, he also missed being home with his family and friends and knowing they were safe. He missed you so much. The day he and the others disappeared from Destiny Islands was probably the most confusing day of his life. He hasn’t been back to Destiny Islands since... And he probably won’t be back for a long time. 

By the time Kairi returned to Destiny Islands, Sora was trapped in Castle Oblivion. Having his memories rearranged and changed, he ends up forgetting Kairi. However, an important aspect is overlooked. 

Sora had spent so much time trying to protect you without you knowing it. During his adventure so far, he was careful to avoid mentioning your name. He was lucky enough that you happened to stay home that night he and the others disappeared. Not wanting to risk another one of his friends getting hurt, he had to be careful when it came to you. 

So Naminé ended up overlooking you in Sora’s memories and focused on Kairi and Riku specifically. Out of every confusing emotion that he had during this time, somehow relief was present. Knowing that you were safe for now made all of this comforting some how. 

As the giant doors to the memory pod slowly shut, Sora felt himself begin to drift off to dreamy state. The last thing to cross his mind was you. Every memory of you that remained untouched played through his mind like a movie, from the time you two first met, up until the day he disappeared. He longed to see you again, maybe even share a paopu fruit with you. As he fell asleep, he looked forward to seeing you again. 

- 

Somehow, his dreams managed to transfer over to you. As you slept, you began to see something similar to visions. Some of them were hard to decipher. You couldn’t tell if it was the future, or if it was the past. You’d see people you didn’t know and live their lives as if it were your own. You dreamt of fighting and wars that you had never seen before. When you woke up, all of it was gone within an instance. 

It was confusing. You didn’t know who’s memories these were, nor why you were seeing them. There was no one to ask, either. If anyone found out, they would think you’re crazy... 

You managed to mention it sneakily in a conversation with Kairi. After school one day, as the two of you walked together down the beach, you suddenly turned to her in the middle of talking. “You know... I’ve been having weird dreams lately.” You stated. If anyone were to have answers, it would be her, right? 

Kairi simply looked over at you, her expression going blank as you spoke. “Weird dreams?” She asked, raising a brow. “Like what?” 

Finally, some progress. You began to explain in detail of what you were seeing. You mentioned seeing Sora and Riku in worlds that didn’t look like Destiny Islands, or seeing people older than the two of you fighting each other. As you explained all of this, Kairi’s expression slowly twisted into one of discomfort. When you realized this, you immediately stopped talking. “I’m sorry, I-” You tried to apologize, but she stopped you.

“It’s alright. It’s getting late, isn’t it?” She pointed out, looking up at the sky. The sun was beginning to set on the distant horizon. You hesitantly nodded and turned towards the small town. “I need to go home before I worry my parents.” She reminded, waving goodbye as she walked off. 

A slightly frustrated sigh left you lips as you watched her go, unable to find it in yourself to press the situation further. Kairi’s been through enough by now... She doesn’t need you interrogating her. 

Troubled by your overwhelming thoughts and dreams about Sora, you found yourself unable to settle with the fact that he was just... Gone. You were willing to believe anything at this point, you just needed some kind of peace of mind. 

That’s when you first met him.

It had been months since your dreams first started occurring. You and Kairi were much older by now, with no sign of Sora or Riku ever returning. Eventually conversation fell off about them. No one seemed to remember them. 

You don’t really remember how this man ended up on the island. You remembered he was dressed in a black, weird-looking coat, and his face was hidden by his hood. He was the one that approached you first, his hands clasped behind his back as he silently observed you. 

Before you could question him about what he was doing, he interrupted you by simply lifting a hand. “You’re friends with... Sora, aren’t you?” He asked, his voice slightly raspy as he spoke. Something inside of you told you to not answer him, but if he approached you, he already knew the answer, didn’t he?

“...Yes. Who are you?” You questioned, your eyes narrowing slightly. He let out a sly chuckle as he shook his head. 

“I’m no enemy of yours. Promise.” He stated, holding out his left pinky. The cloaked man seemed to be expecting you to link your pinky with his; however, you held your suspicious gaze. “You see, a friend of yours sent me to find you. What was his name again? Something like... Riku...” The man explained, causing something inside of you to snap. 

“Riku?! Is he okay? Can I see him? Does this mean Sora is okay as well?” You asked, the questions basically spilling out of you. You probably should have left off the last question, you didn’t know who this man was. As far as you knew, he could have been the one responsible for their disappearance. It didn’t matter in the moment, though. You were desperate for answers. You needed to know that Sora was okay. 

Unbeknownst to you, you had fallen straight into his trap. You finally established that connection between the two of you. Now they had an opening to attack. “Oh, I thought you knew. We’ve been taking care of Sora for a while now...” He lied smoothly, a twisted smirk forming on his features. “Would you like to see him? I’m sure he misses you a bunch.” The man said, his hand stretching out towards you.

You couldn’t stop yourself from taking his hand. As soon as he held his gloved hand out, you subconsciously reached out, not a single second thought in your mind. The moment your fingertips touched, a pool of darkness formed around your feet. Before you could get a word out, the two of you were consumed by it.

When your eyes opened again, you stood in the middle of a grey room. You quickly backed away from the male, a newfound look of fear in your eyes. “What did you do?!” You demanded, her brows furrowing. Have you succumbed to the same fate as Riku and Sora? 

The male let out a low chuckle as he removed his hood. His long black ponytail fell down his back as his smirk was shown in the light of the room. “Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you wanted to see Sora.” He hummed, a sarcastic tone to his voice. “As if.” He stated, summoning a weapon similar to one of a gun. “Walk.” He commanded, gesturing for you to go. 

You figured as you were pushed through the twisting halls of this weird building, you’d at least look for a way out. Your eyes scanned the halls, you would stare down every corridor, and you’d examine every opening in the walls. From what you could see, there was really no way out. Each room lead to another room that eventually went in a full circle. The castle was massive, there really was no escape. 

Even if there was, the cell that they placed you in was unescapable. It seemed to float in midair, the bars were thick and too close together. You looked around the inside and realized there was no way of getting out except through the bars. A troubled expression formed on your features as you moved to sit against the wall. 

How did all of this happen? How did this man know who Sora was? He mentioned Riku too... Does that mean Riku is here? But why would Riku let this happen? Wait... How did you even get here? What is this place? You definitely weren’t at Destiny Islands anymore. How could you be so foolish? 

-

It felt like years had passed by the time Sora woke up again. His body was sore and his mind was filled with thoughts and memories of everyone in his life. He wasn’t really sure how much time had actually passed when he was asleep, but he did know he missed his friends. 

His life quickly changed as he eased into being awake again. Organization XIII had been more and more active, Sora was mostly unaware of his previous encounters with them in Castle Oblivion. Mickey and Riku were still gone, and he had no clue when he would be able to return to Destiny Islands to visit you or Kairi. 

It wasn’t until he arrived at Hollow Bastion when he came face-to-face with the Organization members. He met one of them, a dark haired male with a long ponytail and an eye patch. This one was pretty much like a huge jerk. He kept taunting and mocking Sora, causing increased frustration with the group, until he mentioned something odd. 

“We have something you want.” He dropped between his lines. Sora’s expression contorted into confusion. Something he wants? What could he possibly want from the Organization? 

“That’s not true. I don’t want anything from you.” He argued, frowning as he looked up at the older man. Xigbar immediately began to laugh, his yellow eye piercing into Sora’s gaze. 

“As if.” He answered, waving him off. “I guess [Name]’s gonna be waiting a little longer, then.” He shrugged, disappearing into a pool of darkness. 

For a moment, Sora stood in silence. His expression held confusion, shock and a hint of anger, but he knew he was powerless to stop Xigbar now. His eyes slowly moved to his keyblade. They had you. He worked so hard to avoid bringing you into this... How did this happen?

Throughout his adventure, trying to find the Organization felt impossible. It was frustrating to say the least. He wasn’t sure who to blame. Had he accidentally let it slip? Did Riku or Mickey tell them? Where were they anyways? There were so many confusing questions that probably wouldn’t be answered until a long time from now. 

His adventure began to feel like a cat-and-mouse game. He was constantly chasing someone, whether it was Organization XIII, Riku, Mickey, or heartless. It was so exhausting, especially with you constantly on his mind. He couldn’t help but be terrified for you, he was so worried and there wasn’t a waking moment where you weren’t on his mind. 

Things finally began to look up when they finally arrived at the World That Never Was. It was time to face the Organization for good, while finding you, Kairi and Riku. 

-

From what you could remember, Kairi somehow ended up in the prison as well. While the two of you were separated, you still could talk. Even if that was the case, there wasn’t much to say. You felt guilty, the blue haired male stopped by occasionally to remind you that you’re the reason why Sora is being lured here. It made you feel so guilty, you hated that you had somehow become a burden in the middle of a bunch of problems you didn’t understand. 

You missed him so much. You missed Riku, you missed Kairi, you missed Destiny Islands. Why did everything have to go wrong? Why couldn’t everything just be normal? Nothing made sense anymore. 

A shaky sigh left your lips as your eyes shut. With this endless waiting, you found yourself enjoying solitude. There wasn’t much else to do besides wallowing in your guilt. You longed to see Sora again, you missed home so much. 

In the middle of your depressed thoughts, you heard some movement from the cell besides yours. You narrowed your eyes as you moved closer to the bars, before widening your eyes at the sight of a... Ghost? She had light colored hair and wore a white dress, but she seemed to be see-through and she stood in the same pool of darkness that the Organization uses. The two of you made eye contact for a moment, before another pool appeared behind you. Kairi seemed to trust her without hesitation, you could only do the same.

When you entered the darkness, you emerged in a long white hall. You hadn’t seen this part of the Castle before, so you weren’t sure of which way to go. The mysterious girl and Kairi seemed to be separated from you, because they have yet to arrive. 

This only meant that you were on your own from now on. You weren’t sure which way to go, so you ended up blindly choosing. As you explored the Castle, you suddenly heard some talking. When you finally approached the voices, you saw all three of them. Sora, Riku and Kairi were standing together, reunited and smiling. 

Your heart swelled at the sight. They all looked so grown up, they looked so different from the kids you met on the islands. You weren’t sure how to approach them anymore. They were basically different people. You hesitantly took a step closer, noticing how Riku’s gaze moved towards you. 

The grey haired male quickly patted Sora’s shoulder and gestured towards you, making the younger male look over at you. A look of relief crossed his features immediately as he ran over to you. 

“[Name]....” He whispered, seeming to be unsure of how he should approach you. “We were just about to find you, I was so worried, how did any of this hap-” He was cut off from his rambling when you embraced him tightly, your tears falling down your cheeks finally. 

“Sora, I missed you so much...” You whispered, looking up at him and gently cupping his cheeks. “I was so worried, the moment you and Riku never returned, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I kept thinking about you... Everyone else seemed to forget, but I couldn’t.” You explained, shaking your head.

He nodded hesitantly and sighed, shaking his head. “I should have told you what happened, what was going on, I’m sorry that I never could.” He whispered, frowning. “I just wanted to keep you safe.” He murmured, looking down at the floor. 

“It’s okay. You have unfinished business, don’t you? We’ll talk about it when we get back to Destiny Islands.” You replied, nodding slowly and taking his hand. 

He nodded firmly and turned towards the others. “Then let’s finish this.” He stated. 

The entire group ran towards the top of the Castle, preparing to face the final boss. Avoiding obstacles and defeating seemingly endless amounts of heartless and nobodies, you finally arrived at the top. Sora stood in front of you and Kairi protectively. You were basically useless when it came to confronting Xemnas, so you stayed back with a weird looking duck and dog. 

Everything seemed to be going well... You weren’t really sure what was happening. You couldn’t believe your eyes for the most part. All you remember was a giant door opening and Sora and Riku disappearing into it. You couldn’t help yourself become nervous at the sight. What if they didn’t return? There was so much on the line. Eventually, you and Kairi were urged to return to Destiny Islands, the small mouse telling you that Sora and Riku would be home soon. 

You had no choice but to go with them. Your eyes were glued to the sight of the door beginning to shut behind Sora and Riku. You swore you saw something resembling a smile on Sora’s lips. Nervousness formed on your chest. What if he doesn’t come back? What if you never see him again? You found it hard to breathe as you returned to the beach of Destiny Islands. 

You and Kairi waited for so long, neither of you speaking as you waiting at the edge of the coast. You were so anxious as you waited for some kind of answer, or sign that they were alive and well. As the sun began to set, the stars above you began to shine through the clouds. You stared up at the sky for the longest time until something else caught your eyes. 

Two shooting stars, side-by-side, fell towards the ocean. As they splashed into the water, you hopped up to your feet and prepared to run out into the water. That’s when you saw his spikey brown hair peek above the water, followed by long silver hair. “Sora!!” You cried out, running into the water. The two men turned towards you and Kairi, eagerly swimming towards the island. 

The moment that you and Sora met, the two of you embraced tightly, as if you were afraid something were going to separate you two again. You could feel your own tears running down your face, as well as his falling onto your shoulder. “I missed you so much.” He whispered, pulling away and looking down at you. 

“I missed you, too.” You replied quietly, taking his hands and guiding him to the shore. It felt nice being home with everyone again. It had been years since you were all united like this again. You never wanted them to be taken away from you again. 

As everyone exchanged their greetings and hugs, you found yourself slowly walking towards the leaning palm tree. Sora managed to catch up to you, a grin on his lips. “Hey, I have something for you.” He explained, pulling you along and hopping up onto the palm tree. He reached up and plucked a couple of star-shaped fruit off of it, handing one to you. “I heard that if you share these, your lives are connected forever.” Sora mentioned, raising a brow and handing one to you. 

“Share them?” You asked, taking a seat next to him on the tree. “Where did you hear that?” You asked, a giggle leaving your lips. 

He chuckled softly and shrugged. “Some guy named Riku.” He answered, smiling quietly and sighing. He quietly took a bite from one of the fruit, before holding it out towards you. After you took a bite, a soft hum left your lips. 

“So... What now?” You asked, looking out towards the sunset. He hesitated, before shrugging. 

“I’m not sure. The Organization is defeated, we’ve finished our journey, I think.” He murmured, furrowing his brows. “I guess I can finally tell you about everything that’s happened.” He pointed out, grinned. 

You smirked. “You better get started then. You have a lot of explaining to do.” You answered, smiling as he eagerly began to explain everything from the night they left, up to before you found them in the castle. 

Honestly, no matter how hard it was getting to this point, you were beyond happy to be next to him again.

[whyarewecalledtheshipname]

an umbrella kairi ramble:

like, they give us kairi potential—

and then they don’t do anything with it.

they give us some more kairi potential—

and then they don’t do anything with it.

they give us /more/ potential—

and then they don’t do anything with it.

but it’s not “bad writing”. it’s not “nomura hates women”.

IT’S KAIRI.

KAIRI HAS POTENTIAL BUT DOESN’T DO ANYTHING WITH IT. SHE CONSISTENTLY FAILS TO SUCCESSFULLY EXPLORE AND MAXIMIZE HER POTENTIAL BECAUSE SHE AS A CHARACTER IS STUCK.

SHE WAS INTENTIONALLY WRITTEN TO /BE/ STUCK. IT HAS TAKEN HER NEARLY 20 YEARS TO EVEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP TO BECOMING /UNSTUCK/. IT WAS GRUELING AND BORING AND ABSOLUTELY INFURIATING. BUT THAT’S THE TYPE OF JOURNEY SHE’S BEEN ON. And it wasn’t an easy one, for her or the audience.

But the thing holding her back isn’t the writing, nomura, misogyny, or any other bs.

It’s been Kairi herself.

Kairi, being the person she is, having the mindset she has, has been holding herself back. She is her own biggest obstacle, and that’s what I keep trying to explain.

And it’s not that kairi holds herself back by “being a shitty character”. She literally just has a stagnant world view that HASN’T DEVELOPED OR GROWN OR CHANGED SINCE KH1.

That is canonically her role. The one friend who doesn’t want her life, friendships, or world to change. Regardless of the reason, that’s her character. That unwillingness to change is what Kairi EMBODIES.

So it makes COMPLETE sense for people to become frustrated and hopeless. It makes sense that people are “pushing” her, begging and praying that Kairi “do something” already. Because we genuinely want her to succeed.

But think of a person in real life. Sometimes you can’t just PUSH someone to grow when they’re not ready, before it’s their time.

And that’s what i get frustrated with. I completely understand that the role Kairi plays will purposely ELICIT that type of reaction, of pushing and expecting and anticipating and pushing—only to be let down again and again.

But it’s a shame some people don’t realize that she’s been set on this path with no end with /purpose/.

And now that she’s straying from that endless path, people are sighing with relief. “Oh, /finally/, they /fixed/ her.” As if she as a character just happened to be broken and needed mending.

Like, no. She is /supposed/ to be broken. Character wise, and story wise. We even get an explanation for what broke her. But people still act like she’s just been a poorly written, unlucky girl character who got shafted for the sake of the two main characters.

Like, that’s literally the embodiment of her story. She /is/ a poor, unlucky girl who got yeeted from her home and family at like age four and she’s been traumatized and trapping herself in the past ever since.

“Well, her story should be of kairi /actively working through her trauma/, instead of just doing nothing.” Except that’s not how it WORKS. Not everyone will just “deal with their trauma” right away, or even decades after the traumatic event. Many kh characters /do/, but they’re not kairi, and kairi isn’t them. She’s living with her trauma in her own way, and I want people to understand that. Even if it’s unhealthy for her, even if it comes at the cost of making her story “boring” and uninteresting. Trauma doesn’t always have to be packaged as some action-packed superhero story that’s fun to consume. Realistically, it isn’t, and that’s why i think kairi’s way of living with her trauma is under-appreciated. She represents a story that’s underrepresented in media.

But it’s like some people “do not see it” and just, shit on her. Like, fair, you don’t have to love her or even like her. A PERSON LIKE KAIRI can be hard to love to some people. That’s a hard truth. People in real life won’t wait around for you to get your shit together, sometimes. That’s just how it goes.

But I’d like for her role, the journey/story that she embodies, to be appreciated, at least. It’s done very well, and very subtly. She isn’t written to be EXPLICITLY OR EXPRESSLY “the one who falls behind bc of trauma or weakness”. She just /IS/, and that’s why people genuinely don’t recognize that she has a role of her own. A necessary evil, in order for the payoff to be worth it once she does grow out of it.

Like, think of Riku. His necessary evil was falling to darkness. And he worked like hell to climb his way out of it.

The difference between riku’s and kairi’s necessary evils is that Riku’s is more interesting on paper. It’s Riku against an Outside Force, as well as himself.

Kairi has little to struggle with other than herself, her own stagnant character and trauma. It just isn’t as interesting when there isn’t any physical embodiment of her internal struggle for her to physically fight against (such as Riku vs Ansem). Xehanort /was/ both her internal and Outside Force, but he’s been controlling her behind the scenes. It’s all a very good metaphor imo, bc it meant Kairi literally never got to confront him face to face until recently—ONLY FOR HER MEMORY OF SORA TO FIGHT HER BATTLE INSTEAD.

Which is maybe why lots of people hate that fight.

But as with everything, it was definitely done for a reason. We just don’t know why, yet. At face value, it really just seems like Kairi was (subconsciously) unwilling to face her Outside Force, even within her own mind. This was her chance to confront the cause of her trauma face to face, and she didn’t. Again.

See what I’m saying? But maybe now she’s beginning to realize that she has to become stronger, physically and mentally, in order to steel herself against the battles to come, both external and internal.

Anyway, this is all my opinion and personal interpretation. I’m not saying my interpretation is factually correct and that i’m tryna indoctrinate people lol. And it’s only one of many rambles i’ve jotted down 😭😭😭 I just want Kairi’s role to be understood, even if it’s to understand how difficult it is to appreciate lmao.

[oveliagirlhaditright]

Together

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33196183

Kairi creeps into the Hall of the Cornerstone and ends up seeing a memory of Minnie's--and perhaps gets more than she bargained for, as her own emotions and regrets come to the surface--and with it a friendship that will carry her through any trial.

For @mademoiseli Happy late birthday, sweetie!

Kairi sat down on the steps that led out of the Hall of the Cornerstone, wondering if she should go down there or not

She wanted to be a bad girl for once—as a sort of fun, perhaps, as her world had so recently fallen down—and go there against her better judgement … and some of the other Guardians of Lights’ judgement as well, if she was being honest.

Because now that they all knew that strong lights could be used to house darknesses without being corrupted—and strong lights and darknesses might call to each other like moths to a flame—there was even the chance, that a strong light like the Cornerstone of Light could resonate with Kairi too strongly. What if it tried to pull her into it, or she pulled it into herself?

These were the reasons that the Guardians had thought it a good idea that Kairi stay away from the light that kept Disney Castle safe from harm.

…But curiosity had killed the cat, and Kairi found that was very much her case when she found herself wandering down into the basement, anyway, just to get a look.

Though what ended up drawing her attention was not the Cornerstone of Light. Rather, it was this almost liquid—thought not quite—with wisps going into it, on a nearby table that had recently been erected, if its drying silver paint was anything to go by.

Kairi grew closer to it, peering into the water, where she curiously saw what looked like Lady Daisy, Huey, Dewey, Louie, Chip, Dale, someone who looked as though they were related to Goofy, and Aqua watching as Queen Minnie gave Pete an earful!

Kairi had no idea how this scene was playing out before her, without sound, but she definitely wanted to find out! So, she walked even closer to it, but ended up tripping, with her face falling face first into the water… and there, she could see this memory—perhaps that’s what it was—in all its glory.

“…Pete, we counted the votes very carefully. Ventus, Aqua, and Terra won. Oh, Pete. I think you tried to do something good, but you were doing it for the wrong reasons, and you went about it the wrong way. Still, a couple of citizens must have thought you had goodness in you, because you actually got a few votes. They knew you were looking out for them.”

Kairi didn’t know what was going on exactly, but maybe she could make some guesses based off of the Queen’s words? But Pete seemed to be boiling with anger, as he often was, and Queen Minnie seemed to be very sweet in dealing with him now and trying to reassure him that the people still cared about him, Kairi saw.

And though this was surely a memory of the past, the Princess of Heart almost wanted to believe that the other light wielder could get through to him. And that maybe things could be different for them all, going forward, if she could…

But then it all took a turn for the worst, as Pete turned towards Queen Minnie angrily.

“Big whoop! I don’t need their lousy votes! Just cough up my prize!”

And then he extended a hand towards Queen Minnie. And Kairi didn’t know if he’d meant to harm her or steal the prize, but she felt her heart go out for the small queen all the same, and her plight here.

And Kairi wanted to believe she would have had such strength and heart in the situation, without her own king.

“Pete!” Queen Minnie exclaimed. “They voted for you because they believe in you and care about you. How could you look down on that? I’ve tried to forgive a lot of things you’ve done, but this is too much. Now you’ve finally crossed the line.”

“Like that matters to me,” Pete shot back rather expertly, not seeming to care how he’d hurt Queen Minnie in the slightest with his line. And it pained Kairi to see.” Besides, what are you going to do about it?” he challenged.

“Ha! I’m gonna let you cool off for a while. Guards!” And at that point, some of the magic brooms showed up and carried Pete off, while Queen Minnie frowned at him, heartbroken, the whole time.

Kairi wondered if this was when he was banished to another dimension—another world—for all he’d done, like Sora had told her about before. She wouldn’t have been surprised.

And with that last sad image of the Queen being the last thing Kairi saw, the memory must have been over, and Kairi was pulled out of it, gasping. And she was surprised to see none other than Queen Minnie herself was watching her now!

“Quite an ordeal, wasn’t it young Kairi?” she asked. And somehow, she seemed to look at Kairi with sadness for Pete, she guessed. But not for Kairi. And no disappointment, either. It was as if she was okay with Kairi spying on her memories. Even though she’d had no right to do it at all.

“Your majesty,” Kairi stammered, dropping to a bow right away, and trying to find her graces, and the girl who might have once belittled Sora and Riku for getting into a situation, because her past self never would have… how sad it was that her present self would. “I’m so, so sorry. I had no right at all to do any of this. Especially since you’re being so kind as to let us look all over your world for Sora right now… I’ll go now.”

Queen Minnie laughed. And it was a pretty sound… and an encouraging one, that had Kairi stopping from going back up the steps that led to the audience chamber, and rather turn around to face the woman. “I acted quite like the Queen there… but part of me regrets it, you know? Because surely Pete had done worse things than that. Why was it him not appreciating people believing in him, that was the final straw for me? Was it that I was just too angry that day?”

“I think my subconscious mind, though not my conscious one, partly wondered about that when I saw your memory just now, too,” Kairi admitted, offering Queen Minnie a small smile, in seeing that they thought very much the same.

“N-not that you were too angry!”, she quickly explained, realizing her words could be misconstrued. “But what it was about that day in particular… And sometimes I wonder about my own anger. Like why I was so livid at Organization XIII. Maybe if I hadn’t been, I wouldn’t have been part of the Keyblade War and Sora would still be here…”

And God help her, Kairi was crying now. Something she definitely didn’t want to do in front of this Queen at all.

But Queen Minnie was merciful and kind, and motioned for Kairi to lean down, so she could wipe her tear away. “You mustn’t blame yourself for that, Kairi, dear. As I understand it, if you hadn’t been there, Sora would have died, and that awful prophecy about light expiring would have come true. So, it was a good thing you were there!

“And goodness me, you don’t have to be so formal with me. I’d like to think we’re all friends here. Call me Minnie!

“But it- it’s hard, isn’t it? I think we who strive closer to the light, often doubt ourselves when we get away from it. But I think those reasons happen for a reason, too. Like with Pete: when you can’t see the goodness of people recognizing you, I feel you can no longer see anything. And you can too easily become caught in the darkness then… and I think that’s why I did what I did with Pete … Do you understand, Kairi?”

“Yes, I think I do!” Kairi beamed, pulling the mouse Queen into a hug. And she didn’t know if this was right or dignified or whatever, but since Queen Minnie said that they could be friends, she decided to just go for it.

And when Queen Minnie hugged her back like it was the simplest thing in the world—magic and healing seeming to fill up Kairi’s heart as she did—she wondered if this was the start of something here.

“Thank you so much for comforting me today… Minnie. I don’t know what I would have done without you. And thank you for not caring that I accidentally spied on your memory!”

The two women started out of the audience chamber now, and would begin a journey through the hall and back to the library, much like the one Queen Minnie had taken with Sora before—feeding off each other’s light as they did so—and it would end up being a key to them finding Sora.

Queen Minnie held Kairi’s hand in hers, like Donald and Goofy had Sora’s multiple times, and Mickey had Riku’s, that many times, as well. “Hehe. Of course, my dear. And know that we’ll find Sora together.”

“Together.”

Author’s Note: Yes, it was a pensieve Kairi used. And my explanation for one being here, is that Disney apparently almost made the first Harry Potter movie. This is mentioned in the “A Conversation Between Daniel Radcliffe and J.K. Rowling” video on the Deathly Hallows DVD.

Written for you, Mademoiseli! I hope you enjoyed!

[neoyi]

I don’t think I’ll ever get to humorously commentate on KH2 piece-by-piece as I tried to do for the first two games (and god knows if I’ll wrap up Re:chain of Memories with the writing method I was doing, but I digress.) I like talking about this endearingly dumb series and replaying this game is a nice opportunity to revisit how I feel now versus how I felt back when I was a fresh-out-of-high-school Neo playing this game for the first time back in 2005.

So I’m going to surmise my current play session (this collects my thoughts up to the Hercules world) with easily containable bullet points.

*I kind of want to make a separate post about the infamous prologue and discuss how people felt Back in the Days (an understatement, let me tell ya), and ultimately what I feel it does for the game and whether I personally liked it, so I'm going to leave that in the back burner for the time.

I will say Twilight Town sounds like a nice, quiet place to live. I love the concept of a city that's always perpetually sunset. It's a beautiful place and like Traverse Town, sports an amazingly cozy soundtrack.

*I'm sure there's some bullshit reason why, but I don't get why Sora's one year absence meant some of the people he's met just....forgot him. Like why? What purpose does this serve? This especially affected Kairi, but it’s ultimately negligible because she regains her memories of him during the beginning portions of the game.

Was this Namine's doing? Was it to protect Sora from the bad guys or something? Why hasn't Riku forgotten him? Was Namine just selective on who she erased Sora's existence from? Did Kairi forget just because she’s connected to Namine? Or Sora? What purpose does this narrative serve? What was the point?

*Speaking of, I forgot, did they ever explain why Riku disguised himself as Ansem? I don’t remember if they ever explained it when I played through this game, but also I haven’t touched KHII in six thousand years, so I don’t remember a lot of the more convoluted parts of the plot.

*It is comical to see Setzer of Final Fantasy VI fame turn from a risky, gambling sky pirate who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about the empire, only cares for the freedom of the skies, and enduring survival’s guilt over a tragic loss of someone dear to him into a...

Whiffle Bat Champion.

*My sheer excitement and obsession when they first announced Vivi as one of the FF cameo was astronomical. I remember keeping a DeviantArt journal detailing any news and screencaps of the little guy pre-release. Still my favorite character from the whole franchise.

Even if he suffers the same fate as Donald and has a zipper on his mage hat for absolutely no reason other than this game existing during Nomura’s Belt-and-Zippers phase.

*Someone’s going to get sued one day because these damn kids keeps sitting atop the clock tower that has yet to be grafted with bars to prevent their inevitable deaths when one of them slips and falls.

*I swear I could play a six degrees of Kingdom Hearts with all the voice actors in this game. Or at least a "Whozit" and "Whatzit" they've done in other media (like Yuffie who is voiced by Mae "Katara" Whitman here. Pre-Avatar, even.)

Also I’m sorry, Will Friedle, you’re a fine voice actor, but you’re...Terry McGinnis. Batman told me he “totally owned all you lamers.”

*I love the Nobody enemy designs. The sheer creepiness and uncanny valley of them all lends credit to their existence as, well, non-existences. The Dusk enemy design alone is inspired with its unsettling belts wrapped around its fingers, or terrifyingly sharp teeth subtly hidden inside of its mouth. I can imagine the creature unzipping its mouth to reveal a set of flesh-eating teeth and the fear is real.

I love the way it flies and circles around its victim, almost like it’s trying to wrap itself around you, but I’m especially fond of that one attack where it essentially kicks you as while it sashays over to you upside down.

The Samurai Dusk also has my favorite reaction command. It’s just unspeakably badass.

*I never liked Squall in FF8 back then (don't know how I'd feel now if I ever replay FF8) and he was just okay in the first Kingdom Hearts, but I remember I really endeared myself to his reappearance in KHII. Squall in this game is what happens when he grew up, found good friends and family, and got some therapy for his issues. He’s stoic, but always a team player, and supportive of Sora and the people around him. KHII Squall is what FF8 Squall has the potential to be once he reaches adulthood and it’s nice to see that here.

*I really love the little changes the developers inputted for Sora, Kairi, and Riku's models to accommodate for their physical growth. Riku's is the most obvious (boy clearly ate his vegetables), but I like that you can tell Sora grew not just through story observations (Yen Sid points out how he outgrew his old garbs) but by comparing his height in relation to Goofy. Sora was shorter than him in the first game, but has since outgrown him in KH2.

Along with his better skill set during combat, this is a really nice way to visually shown how far Sora has come and how much time has passed.

This also goes in the opposite direction with Namine whom I think had to redo her mod when they remastered Chain of Memories for 3D. I notice she looks younger in that game than in KHII which would make sense at the time since it takes place a full year ago.

...Well, maybe. Can Nobodies age???

*Damn it, game, don’t give me a pouch containing 5,000 munny and treat it as an in-game key item that I can’t use even though munny is literally the currency I use to buy things.

*The retooling and emphasis on battle mechanics means the platforming element of the first really suffers and that’s a damn shame. I wasn’t particularly in love with exploring the Disney Worlds in the first KH, but I appreciate the effort put into so Sora could not easily get from Point A to Point B.

Even finding treasure chests is comical and if not for sake of posterity for anyone going for 100%, I wonder why Jiminy bothers to keep track of how many you find. There were literally like three out in plain view the minute I entered the Mulan world.

*Speaking of level designs, yeesh, the layout is not optimal for the skateboarding minigame.

*Trying to design a gummi ship in this game requires a masters degree in gummiology and metaphysical engineering, as well as the ability to tap into the 4th dimensional. The 45,000 page instructional manual they give you, the odd grid map used to piece together your ship (fair, the latter was also in the first game), and finicky button controller layout means it took me a while to fully grasp what I was suppose to do and I’m still not sure I got a full handle of it just yet.

*I don’t understand why Sora had to use a physical object as a conduit in each world to open up a metaphysical gate to the next world. He never had to use an in-between to close it. What’s the exception outside of unnecessary symbolic tie-in to the individual worlds he’s in?

*Props to the developers for recreating the ballroom. It’s actually kind of majestic to look at the beautiful ceiling and chandelier design from Sora’s perspective.

*There are a couple of random gameplay elements I forgot completely existed and seemingly there for arbitrary purposes. I just find it unusual that Mulan’s world forces you to collect literal manifestation of morale. It’s like the developers decided they wanted to reuse the Struggle minigames’ balls into a repurposed Morale Ball because well shit, someone programmed these things they’re damn well going to put it to good use.

I guess if Sora and pals don’t literally collect morale, all the soldiers will be, I don’t know, sad and die in battle or something.

*I’m aware Disney villains using the Heartless as their personal army is the norm, but it’s tonally weird when it’s Shan-Yu of all characters doing it. The infamous Charge-In-The-Snowy-Mountain scene doesn’t quite have the leg up in terms of threat when his army consist of adorable Heartless bumblebees.

*You know what pointless shit I am obsessed with? The stupid puzzle pieces scattered throughout the game. This is the first time I’m playing the Final Mix game and I’m just seething at the lack of abilities I currently do not have that prevents me from reaching certain pieces.

*Auron was instantaneously my favorite character when I first played FFX twenty years ago, and his return in KH2 sent me in fangirlish squeals. How could I not? Look at this handsome bastard. He’s calm, collected, badass with a cool sword, has rugged good looks (he doesn’t have it here, but he rocks some killer shades), and a good dad. That’s prime DILF quality right there. Of course I can’t get enough of him.

Square Enix knows we can’t get enough of him; dude be all “fuck off hades” and gives the god the middle fingers and fucks off elsewhere. Auron is King Shit.

*Oh man, do I still have my old Sora figurine? I think I got him in Katsucon way back in 2009.

*So who’s done a drinking game every time the game introduces Sora, Donald, and Goofy individually to every character they meet?

*Hey, so I noticed Square Enix is finally moving their asses and bringing the Ultimania books to the US. I doubt they’re going to bring the older KH Ultimanias overseas (my kingdom for an officially translated FFIX one), but ya know. I kinda think that yeah, I might want the KHIII Ultimania.

...Just saying.

*GET UP ON THE HYDRA’S BACK! GET UP ON THE HYDRA’S BACK! GET UP ON THE HYDRA’S BACK! GET UP ON THE HYDRA’S BACK!

GET UP ON THE HYDRA’S BACK!

[cutegirlmayra]

Sokai Prompt, My brain is enamored by the idea of Kairi housing Sora’s heart, and he can just ‘fade’ into their reality to help her. Gosh, my mind never stops..!

They’re living rent free in my head, man.

Prompt:

It was strange, you know?

These dreams I’ve been having… it’s like… two worlds… blend and mend into one seamless… long lasting world.

But… is this reality even real? Or… not?

“Every time?” Riku asked, sitting beside me on the street as Yozora had asked us to stay hidden, but that was kinda hard when our clothes made us stand out the most…

“Yeah… at first, I thought it odd, but…” Thinking about it too long made my head hurt…

I gripped my head and kicked my legs out, “Ah! This is so frustrating! Do you think I’m somehow connected to Kairi too?”

I had just finished telling him about these dreams where I’m looking through Kairi’s eyes, and sometimes… when she goes to sleep, I can see her talking to me from within the horizontal, stained glass window of her heart.

I remember her words well too… the first time I was there, and every night since, the script doesn’t seem to change much… but I can tell it’s hard on Kairi.

Within the dream, Kairi is always speaking to me, and though I can see her and she can see me, I can’t talk at all.

It’s kinda tormenting, seeing her struggling but trying to keep her spirits high and not being able to comfort her that I’m alright and safe, and that Riku made it here too!

“I know that I’m not ready to face the other side of this reality… the fictional side… but I’ll get there, Sora. I won’t fail!” Kairi had her hand bundled against her chest, nodding with a strong determined look in her eyes… but I’d see how much she’d work at her training with Aqua, how hard it really had been compared to Merlin’s and Master Yesid’s quick lessons. Kairi was highly talented, and I didn’t have anyone in the beginning! She’s progressing so much faster than I ever did!

Riku said the same thing too, that if it is Kairi, she shouldn’t push herself so hard. It took us a long time to get even remotely close to where we are, and I had to regain some of my strength! I told him I couldn’t tell her that, and for some reason, I can’t speak back to her at all.

“Do you know if it’s even possible that this might just be you worrying about her?” Riku adjusted how he was sitting, taking his arms that were just resting on his knees up behind his head… wait, was he mimicking me? “I mean, it’s normal, I guess.”

“Normal?” I tilted my head, confused. “Really?”

“Yeah, you’re about at that age… dreaming of someone you care about isn’t all that strange anymore.” I about lost it.

“Riku! T-that’s not-! That’s not what I meant at all!” I went to contend it but saw him crook a humorous smile, as though he really was just joking around with me. “Ah, you…!” He grappled my head and it was like old times, rough-housing until we saw someone paying attention to us.

“Let’s go.” Riku turned serious again, letting me go and getting up.

“Y-yeah.” I rushed after him, following behind. Looking over my shoulder, I could see these ‘business’ like guys in suits trying to follow… guess our talk about dreams will have to wait-

“Kairi’s strong, Sora. You need to trust her.” Riku jumped over a trashcan, which I jumped and summoned my keyblade to knock over, turning around.

“Fire!” I cried out, gripping it with two hands as the ball of blazing light clashed into the paper in the trashcan, creating some smoke but blocking the pursuers from keeping track of us.

We darted into the woods, panting as I gripped my knees to stay upright and Riku leaned against a tree.

“Man… what do you think they want with us, Riku?” I looked back, glad we weren’t able to be followed.

“Don’t know, but I think that’s why Yozora wanted us away from the streets… we’re far enough now to be out in the open, but this world has a collective eye that doesn’t like us around… it seems.” Riku summoned his own keyblade, looking it over, “Looks like us being keyblade wielders is more noticeable than I thought.”

We were trying to keep a low profile and not reveal our keyblades, but looks like Riku was right, even without them--people still somehow could tell we were from another world…

Though, I think our clothes wouldn’t set that many alarms off in people’s heads… right?

“Besides…” Riku raised his head, looking off in the distance, “...The only way I could find you was… through a dream too.”

“H-huh?” This was the first time I had heard about that. I sat down and spread my legs out, getting ready to hear his story, and placed my hands down in the middle while unsummoning my own keyblade. “You mean… you had a dream… about me?”

“Don’t get too flattered.” Riku grinned over his shoulder and I flashed him a signature goofy grin of my own, closing my eyes to emphasize I wasn’t gonna make that joke… at least aloud, I didn’t seem to need too.

“Yeah, well… It seems your connection to Kairi is somehow different and… maybe stronger.” He nodded his head towards the distance again. “Think you can try again? This time, maybe speak back to her? Tell her where we are?” he looked sincerely back to me, but I shook my head.

“I’ve tried, she can’t hear a sound.” I admitted, “I just remember… she was in danger and I…” I looked at my hand…

“You… what?” Riku asked, trying to follow up.

“...Nevermind.” I let it go, I couldn’t tell him how odd that felt. One moment, I was sleeping, seeing Kairi in The Final World and fighting a piece of her heart that looked just like Xehanort. “Maybe you’re right… I just see her being so strong for my sake… I’ve never realized… how much she tries for me too.”

“Too?” Riku folded his arms after gesturing away his keyblade, mocking me again. He loomed over me a bit and teased with another joking smile, “You should know,... Sora… more than anyone… just how much she works for us all.”

I couldn’t argue with that, I had been saved by Kairi too, I knew that much.

I just always thought I wasn’t enough for everyone without my friends… but Kairi… was always enough. At least, that’s what I had once thought.

Now I realized that I had been a strength for Kairi all along, and that she also struggled with becoming strong enough too. I just wish I could tell her what I’ve learned and the things I’ve gained from being together and apart. But…

I picked up a rock and threw it, “I just wish I could tell her that! Tell her that… I can see her… I can see now... I-...” I covered a part of my face with my hand, feeling a bit hopeless.

Riku must have seen that and bent down, putting a hand to my shoulder, “It’ll be okay, Sora. I found you, we found you. We’ll get you back to Destiny Island and this time, we’ll all celebrate together… alright?”

He beamed, “Yeah! You got it.”

“Tonight, if you do have that dream, try and see if you can change it somehow.” He instructed, which made me wonder--change it?

“How do I reach out to her?” I gestured my hand out, showing I was in a bit of a pickle here. “The dreams are pretty random. I see her training when she’s awake, or getting upset with herself not progressing soon or fast enough for her. I can see her… let’s see… writing letters?” I gripped my chin and thought about it as Riku got up and moved a little away, thinking as well.

“Strange… I saw the buildings, and you walking around… I never saw through your eyes though.” Riku comments made me think maybe it was the real Kairi, and maybe she was having some pretty bad insecurities, but smiling and making promises to me in her-

“That’s it!” I scrambled on the ground to try and hurriedly get up, growing excited. “Riku! It’s when she’s sleeping! That’s when I can connect to her! When we’re both not awake!” I stumbled a bit on making my way over to him, “All I have to do is take a power nap and hope she’s sleeping too! Then I can try and grab her attention somehow and-” I grew very animated in my planning, but Riku just cocked his head, replying sharply.

“And play charades?”

I slowly felt my energy dissipate by his words, flopping my arms down, “Y-...Yeaaahhh…” I kicked the ground, letting my body wobble and sway slightly in my disappointment. “What would you do? Write on her heart?”

“That might not be best.” Riku shook his head with a smile, “But… If you really can’t communicate, then I guess all you have is... you.”

I nodded my head, though it may be difficult, I’d have to communicate with my body instead of my words.

“Guess I should train for tonight!” I twisted my torso and stretched out my arm socket, rotating it around and doing some exercises in place. “Think you can interpret me alright if I train hard for it? Then I can match how hard Kairi’s working too!” I stopped to grip my two arms into fists and hold them up, showing I would do anything to give her some peace of mind.

Riku laughed lightly and agreed, “Alright, we don’t have much to do until Yozora tells us what’s going on with his friends and if we’re safe to find a way out of here yet or not.”

“Isn’t your heart the key to returning home?” I pointed to him and he sighed.

“Should be that simple… but the heart I used to connect to this world is bound to the ‘inbetween’. Since I don’t have her heart here at present, it means we have to somehow bring her heart back… which could be disastrous if someone else takes it during our attempt to retrieve her.” Riku explained.

“Oh, right. The Star.” I remembered, I still had something to tell him. “You mentioned her… before.” I nodded, showing my understanding. “Her body needs to be rescued, yeah? Then what are we all waiting for?”

“Well, first, we need more intel. Yozora, for some reason, is being pretty tight-lipped about it.” Riku and I both mimicked the other’s actions and folded our arms, ‘hmm’ing as we studied the ground and thought.

“... Oh, well. Can’t sit around doing nothing, if Yozora wants to get things settled his way before involving us in it, then… I say… that’s up to him, right?” I wanted to be sensitive, it seemed the Star and him had a deep connection that was being jeopardised by these ‘business suit’ people. Whatever they wanted, they got it, at the expense of their bond.

“Right.” Riku looked disturbed, maybe feeling bad for the Star, so I gave him my best smile and patted his shoulder, gripping it for good measure. ‘Cheer up, Riku. I’m not just trying to get you to help me, I just can’t stand still for very long. It’s really not your fault.’ I didn’t want to say that to him at the moment though. Riku had so much to worry about from back home, to me, to now thanking the Star that risked a lot to get him here.

When he showed up, I guess the suit guys got wind that the only possible way he could travel to their world was through her. A shame it had to be like that, but now they were doing everything to double-up on their protection and securement of the Star’s body.

“Who is she? Do you know?” Riku asked and I shrugged, letting his shoulder go.

“Yozora’s dear friend… but besides that, it beats me.” I wanted to respect somewhat of their privacy…

“...Does it, though?” Riku looked away, apparently putting two and two together.

I just grinned with a faint blush of embarrassment, scratching behind my head. “They do seem fond of each other…”

“...Enough to dream about one another?” he looked up into the sky and I knew he was teasing me again, but in a more contemplative way this time.

I immediately jumped on my feet and was ready to brawl, “Why, you-! Quit teasing me on that! Every jab is like a blow to my pride!” I gestured vigorously out with my hand so he’d see this meant a lot to me, and if Yozora was the same… “I respect him for him!”

“Heh, you two show things differently… but I think I can see the same feelings and emotions towards it. Well, I won’t pry, but I think our only hope of getting out of here and back to our world is finding a heart connected to ours.”

“Our hearts?” I inquired further for clarity sake.

“Our world.” Riku emphasised, “Which means, even with her back in her heart and body joined back together again… There’s no telling if she’d be able to get us back. Her heart got me here… but…”

“And my heart’s missing… too.” I touched the empty space where a heartbeat should be… and knew that Kairi was keeping it safe. 

“Wait…”

I rose up my head.

“Kairi..? Is Kairi my key back home!?” I stomped my foot down to lean into Riku’s vision line again, since he kept looking away to think to talk.

“Kairi..? If it were that simple, you could just use my heart, right?” He flipped his hand out to dismiss it, but I shook my head.

“You can’t go home with your own heart leading the way, right? Not without jeopardising it. You said that because you used the Power of Waking on the Star’s heart, that you were thrown into a similar position as me, right? That means… we need both a heart from our world that we can connect too… but someone to open the gate for us. You could be the gate, since you didn’t lose as much as me, and Kairi could be my path to getting us home.” My reasoning stood to be tested, but you know what? I think it makes sense!

“That’s pretty far-balling it, Sora.” Riku stated, not too sure about it. His eyebrows creased together into a furrowed brow and I knew he’d need more convincing. “If what you say is true… then we use my heart as a type of channel to yours, then have someone unlock your heart from Kairi’s, and basically ride the channel back to our world.��

“We’re all connected, it could work.” I was excited, but deeply concerned I would make him worry again.

I wanted to give him some hope… anyway.

After a minute that seemed like forever to me, Riku finally conceded. “We’ll keep it in mind.” which was enough to satisfy me! I put my hands behind my head and lifted a foot back behind my other, just glad we were on the same page.

“So… Tonight…” Riku addressed the other matter that broke me from my relaxed positioned and made me nervous again. “What exactly do you want to convey to her? That we’re alright, and that she shouldn’t stress out so much about not being on the same level as us yet?” He took one of his arms that were folded and swayed it about, as though we were kids and I hadn’t thought this through yet.

Well… he was right, if that’s really what he was assuming.

“I… uh… well…” I pivoted a bit from him, pushing my pointer fingers together in a bit of shyness. “Maybe…” I wanted to say a lot more then that… but I wasn’t gonna admit that to Riku! He’d tease me for… well, for forever!

“I see.” He dropped his hands and seemed to chuckle to himself, and I decided he already knew what I meant and just dropped it too.

“It was hard enough to try and think of putting it into words… but now…” I lowered my head, “Riku… what if I’m not enough to help her?”

He shook his head, “What are you talking about? Don’t be silly, whatever you try and convey, I’m sure it will brighten Kairi’s spirits.” He walked ahead of me, “Everyone’s worried about you… not just Kairi. So, whatever you say, should be something she can relate back to others, yeah?” He was right, I should tell her about this other world too, but it’s hard to put anything simple into a step-by-step gesturing game.

“What if… she thinks I’m just a dream too?”

“Then convince her you’re not, show her the truth of it.” Riku wasn’t really helping… but I appreciated that he was believing me now.

“Easier said then… charaded!” I tried to mime myself swimming, then swinging, then playing ‘peek-a-boo’ and he sighed and realized I wasn’t very coherent in anything.

“Alright, let’s take it from the top.”

We only had a few minutes to really rehearse and concrete anything that showed ‘clarity’ of what I was trying to say when the suits found us. That was a whole ride, we battled and got finally got somewhere when Yozora--accompanied by his friends--finally met us up at last and we were able to get a lot done and figured out that day.

That night, I was exhausted, and I practically forgot about seeing Kairi and what I was gonna try and convey.

When I went to rest for the night under a huge tree with a big enough space under it’s truck for us to rest in, I looked over and saw Yozora looking up at the stars in the night sky…

‘I understand, buddy.’ I thought to myself, empathizing, and remembered Kairi.

“Ah! Riku…” I looked over to him and saw his back facing me, he was already getting ready to lay down and threw up a thumbs up for me, apparently having thought of it before I did.

I smiled, looking down at my grass bed, “Okay… here goes.” I got comfortable and tried to sleep… reaching out to her… ‘Kairi… This time… I won’t just silently listen… I want to say something back, and I hope you’ll understand me this time.’

When I opened my eyes, I was already standing up and upon Kairi’s heart, looking at the design and smiling at the familiar feeling of knowing this was her.

I looked up into the darkness above me and closed my eyes, until a flash of light triggered and I saw window planes of memories flying around me.

I walked around, realizing Kairi must not be asleep yet.

‘Okay, I’ll wait.’ I nodded, and summoned my keyblade. ‘Let’s see what she’s up to.’ I pointed it out, watched the tip of it begin to glow with bright, radiant light and slowly rose it to the top of the blackness.

It shot out and then fell like a beam over me, opening some path to me from her heart into her mind and eyes.

When I opened my eyes, Kairi was panting and running, Aqua using all her might to lunge and attack her.

‘Still training? It’s so late.’ I felt her heart racing and gripped my own chest, ‘Kairi…’

She turned around and perfectly blocked the attack, ‘Yes! You’ve got it!’ she had improved so much since last time! It was awesome! I gripped my hands into fists and held them up, getting pumped during her training before I saw her stance weaken and heard her grunt under Aqua’s high-stakes pressure training. ‘Oh no…’ I looked down at my foot and slid it into position, having her own foot fade like a ghostly after-image over mine. ‘Kairi… like… this-!’ I twisted my foot to scoot hers into the right direction.

Immediately, Kairi pivoted her foot and regained her balance, letting her force push through without fault.

‘YEAHHH!!!’ I jumped up and cheered as I floated in the space where I was seeing her fight. ‘Way to go, Kairi!’

Aqua pulled back, looking a little surprised by her sudden strength, and then smiled. “Looks like you’re learning quicker than I can teach. Tell me, when did you figure out your footing was misplaced?”

“I… I just felt someone guiding me… as if…” She got back up and placed her hand on her heart, but before she could say my name, she started to collapse.

‘Ah!’ I wanted to grab her but I couldn’t, and in her after-image of falling, I saw Aqua quickly hold her up.

“I thought I requested a good night’s sleep the other night. What’s keep you resisting my instructions?” Aqua lightly scolded, tilting her head as though understanding Kairi’s commitment, but trying to show her that it was unfruitful for her training purposes.

“I wanted to… re-run a few combos… ugh…” She gripped her head.

“Have you eaten?” Aqua asked.

‘She better have!’ I felt my whole being wanting to just skyrocket through her eyes and be there with her… taking her into my hands and not someone else’s… More than anything, I wanted to be there for Kairi… help teach her and train her too, maybe train together with her! I know I’ve forgotten a lot of things, and mostly learned what I could from actual experience… ‘Kairi… Kairi… please, just rest so I can connect with you!’

“I’m fine.” Kairi smiled weakly, but sheepishly got up and began to bow to Aqua, “Master, I’m sorry for not resting enough as you’ve told me to.”

“It’s alright, but let’s meet somewhere in the middle.” Aqua’s tenderness made me glad that Kairi was in good hands… even if I couldn’t be there for her now… “I still require some toughness from you… but please, take care of yourself. Your keyblade is only an extension of your power, you are the true key.” she gestured to Kairi then her own keyblade, before finally nodding and placing a hand delicately to her heart. “Power and strength… are nothing without the will that controls them. If your body is exhausted, then it can’t do as the will commands, and you’ll never be able to progress beyond this point.”

I felt Kairi’s breath get taken and felt so sorry that she was misunderstanding. Aqua wasn’t saying she couldn’t ever get stronger, only that if she didn’t find the right balance, she’d only weaken herself and slow her training down further.

‘Kairi… be brave, don’t falter now.’ I urged, but as I opened my mouth, nothing came out.

‘Please… hear me, Kairi!’

Kairi lowered her head and I looked down at my fist, seeing her ghostly after-image over my own… her fist was tightened and shaking in her frustrations…

I felt my face bend in anguish, opening my hand and holding her own shaking one… even though I knew it was just my spirit and hers… I hoped she could somehow feel the comforting touch.

I had hoped that’s how she would see it, but as she flinched and looked at her hand, I seemed to have only scared her.

I pulled it away and looked away… it was hard to see this. See how much she really was trying to be strong enough to save me with Riku too…

‘Kairi…’ I just squinted my eyes closed, what was this feeling? Of wanting so desperately to be by her side and…

“Kairi?” Aqua tilted her head.

“R-right. Sorry, I understand now. I’ll… go straight to bed, Master Aqua.” She nodded to her, remaining humble, and gave her a formal bow of her head with her keyblade pointed down and held with both hands, a sign of respect. “Excuse me, and thank you for the training.”

Aqua nodded, but seemed concerned as Kairi retreated.

‘Aqua… you’re doing fine.’ I wanted to reach her heart too, but as Kairi pulled away, so did I. I held out a hand to her, though, ‘Let me try and be there for Kairi too… We’ll help her… together.” I nodded my resolve and waited for Kairi to actually get settled.

Giving her some space and privacy, I floated back down in the pillar of light to her heart, resting and trying to review the things Riku and I discussed.

‘Okay, simple words and think of imagery strong correlations… Ah, what were those again?’ I gripped my head, ‘Man, all I can think of is-!’

“Sora..?”

The voice was so gentle, it resonated in me…

I tried to relax as I took a deep breath, and turned around to face her.

‘Kairi…’ I tried to mouth her name, but it seems she couldn’t perceive that either.

She smiled to me kindly, but I could see her face shift to insecurity as her eyes began to show her true sorrow.

“I tried hard today… and I’ll try harder tomorrow. You… and Master Aqua needn’t worry about me.” She shook her head, then looked squarely in front of her where I was, not willing to show me any loss of will. “Today, I learned that my will isn’t strong enough either. I need to re-dedicate myself. I thought my promise to protecting you and bringing you and Riku back home safely was enough… but if my body can’t keep up, then it means I have to train both my will and being at the same time. If they’re strengthened together, then I can keep pursuing my promise to you, without any limitations.”

She was so strong… her eyes were filling up with glossy tears and she wouldn’t let a single drop be shown to me…

‘Kairi…’ I walked towards her.

She lowered her head and continued to bundle her hands into fists, shaking them to the side of her. “I felt you… today, I felt you correct me. I was happy to feel you again… but… scared to rely on you too much. But then… Master Aqua got me thinking… what if… What if you’ve been my strength this whole time, Sora? What if… I need to rely on my own strength? But saying goodbye to you twice is too much!” She gripped her head, and I moved quickly in response, gasping inaudible as I raced to meet her. “What if… I’d rather be strong with you… even if that means I’m not strong on my own?!”

I knew how that felt.

‘Kairi… Kairi, I’m here! You’ve always been there for me, too! Remember? Even if we’re apart, we’re-!’

I embraced her.

She froze a second, probably because neither of us knew we could actually do that in this state.

But we were two hearts now… as long as her heart was here with mine, we could do anything.

I just held her so close, as I felt her arms feeling my own, as though still in disbelief that she could.

“Sora… Sora, are you alright? Did I scare you? I didn’t realize… I didn’t realize your heart could understand everything I was saying… I thought… it was kinda like a comatose state. I thought… if I just wrote and spoke to you in my letters and dreams.., it would help me stay on course.” I felt her wrap her arms around me and we held on tightly.

I didn’t care about telling her or performing my ridiculous dance of charades anymore. There was one thing I could convey, and this embrace was riding on everything for her to understand how I was feeling too.

She moved slightly and I reluctantly stepped back, giving her a gap between us as she reached to grab my hand, holding it like we had before I… disappeared.

She placed her own over mine, “You’re safe?”

I nodded, with my own eyes growing hazy in how torn I was leave her… but I was waking up.

I felt my body disappearing again…

‘No… just a little longer… let the twilight last-! Just a couple minutes longer..!’

“Good.” She lightly giggled through her obvious heartache. If she could only feel my own…

“And Riku and you are together?”

I nodded again, hurriedly, feeling the fading as her hand dropped to show my own had already disappeared.

I saw her whole being lowering as though about to collapse again, then her mouth turn into a sharp frown before her face scrunched together and her strength was gone, jumping into my arms.

“Then I can do it! I’ll work with my heart over both my body and my mind! I won’t fail you, Sora, or Riku, or King Mickey! Master Yensid… Master Aqua… I won’t let anyone down!”

So much of the world she seemed to be placing on her shoulders… and for the first time, I couldn’t lift it off of her.

It was too much for her, though, I wish she’d see that and take her time on her training, but I could tell we now had plenty of motive to sleep at good times and not push ourselves too terribly hard.

Besides… I could hold her and be with her every night… and that was enough for me.

When I woke up, Riku and Yozora seemed to be in deep conversation with one another, “So… this Kairi… could be a way to save both you, Sora, and-” Before Yozora could continue, I groaned and gripped my head, the leafs under me crinkling and scratching against each other, causing a racket.

Riku and Yozora turned around from the entrance of the tree’s open mouth, and seemed ready to hear what I had to say.

“Does she know?” Riku asked.

I just opened one eye and nodded… then a huge smile scraped across my face.

Riku pulled back a second, not sure what to take of my hinted meaning.

“Did you… Did you do as we had planned?”

“N-not… exactly…” I looked away, and Yozora looked confused as he leaned forward.

“Are you… Blushing?”

I covered my face and fell back into my leaf bed, “D-Don’t look!”

Riku finally backed off my back about it, but he often poked my cheek to remind me how ‘adorable’ I looked after I woke up… ‘I thought he said he wouldn’t make fun of me anymore!’ I thought with a red face.

[komoryriku]

Queering KH: Part 2

How to Queer this Anime Game? By me, an American nerd lol

Pictured: Dream. Drop. Distance. Sequel. 8)))

What is Queering 

I’m so excited to talk about this okay this is literally the only fun thing I get to do as an English major anymore lmao.

“Queering a text” is the academic term for taking a given text and extracting the queer subtext of it, or applying a queer reading to it. It is taking a piece of literature, film, or art and reading into it for the gay coding. It is an especially important tool for reading old literature written during periods of extreme homosexual oppression, wherein the author would be forced to hide hints of homosexuality under layers and layers of superficial text.

Pictured: Sora and Riku battling Ursula as she means to wreck their ship, mirroring the disaster that Sora’s friends Eric and Ariel (lovers) faced at sea.

As a post-structuralist, I am also here to inform you that every text is made up of intertextual influence. This means whether the JK Rowlings of the world intended it or not, their characters may well be queer coded because of the unconscious influence of homoerotic customs in our culture that have permeated the text. It’s why people speculated that Newt Scamander was gay, because he showed little interest in Tina and preferred to focus on his beasts, which is not normative for a male protagonist in straight media. People likewise considered that Merida from Pixar’s Brave might be gay, because she had no interest in dating men and wanted to live a wild lifestyle traditionally associated with masuculinity, things that are pretty in line with lesbian coding. And let me tell you, lgbt claimed Queen Elsa IMMEDIATELY for very good reason. Pretty much everything about her journey, purposefully or not, makes for an strikingly overt gay metaphor. Let it Go is a coming out song for a woman suffocating under normativity all her life, deal with it.

Same, Elsa.

Oh whoops I accidentally pasted this picture of Riku here.

Keep Cultural Distinctions in Mind

Something else important I want to point out is that different cultures are- different lol. They are going to vary. What is queer coding here is not necessarily queer coding in Japan. A man presenting femininely in American media would certainly get him coded as gay. A bishonen in an anime though? Not so much. Men bathing together in Japan is common practice so that would mean nothing gay over there. In America however, you have things like this vine. 

In which 2 dudes are chilling as far away as possible from each other in a hot tub to prove they are not gay lol.

So when I say the male members of Organization XIII bathe together, it means literally nothing in a Japanese context.  

But let me tell you this: homosexual mlm tend to enjoy bathing with other dudes. Sexual attraction is sexual attraction no matter where you go. So how would you queer code a Japanese character as gay in a hot tub context? 

By American logic, if the straight thing to do is sit 5 feet apart in a hot tub, then the inverse, the gay thing to do, would be 2 men sitting very close together in a hot tub. So if I were to code 2 American male characters as gay in a hot tub context, that is what I would do. But if I really wanted to hammer it home, I would ALSO have them blushing so there is no straight explanation for their closeness. 

And for a Japanese character, for whom bathing with men might well mean nothing, I’d definitely have them physically blush, so that you know it does NOT just “mean nothing” to him...

Oh look at that. Amano went out of her way to draw Roxas blushing at the concept of bathing with men. So when I say “the members of Orginization XIII bathe together”, you know that means something to Roxas, cuz the coding tells us so. There are indeed certain ways you can depict a shonen being either interested in or at least affected by that idea. You just have to mind those codes telling you what the character really feels, especially when they can’t really say it.

Speaking of blushes, Amano uses them a lot. 

They’re a pretty effective tool for hiding gay coding into your characters cuz an anime character might blush for any number of reasons, from being flustered by their crush, 

to being flustered because they don’t have a crush.

If you’ve ever translated Japanese media, (I haven’t, but I have friends who do), you know that Japanese is very vague which means you need the whole context to properly understand a scene. It’s a similar situation with queer coding. Consider this scene of Roxas blushing. 

If Roxas felt positively about the insinuation that he and Xion are holding hands, how might one code this? Well, if he’s feeling really excited about it in a positive way, you might draw him smiling or expressing flattery on his blushing face. However, Roxas reacts negatively, with a frown on his blushing face. This insinuates he does not like this idea at all, especially since he also shuts it down right away in his dialogue.

But you might say “Well how do we know he isn’t just shy?” to which I say- well we can’t know. That’s the whole point of queer coding in literature. It is to say a character is queer but without actually saying it, to give plausible deniability for safety. It is to suggest a character is queer but without any confirmation. It does not mean that the character isn’t queer, however. It just means it cannot be confirmed by the text alone. However, a bold text that is very determined to have hidden queer characters without any straight explanations, will provide coding that has very little or no straight explanation. 

Back to the Roxas and Xion dialogue^. This scene alone cannot confirm or deny anything. As I explained however, the suggestion that Roxas is not straight IS there. Considering the whole context, also, this scene is another piece of “evidence” to add to the pile of suggestions that Roxas isn’t straight. This coupled with the bathing panel, and this panel of him admiring Axel, his male mentor, with deep flattery during his first day of adventuring, all exist.

Roxas does not express negative sentiments in his blushing at men, nor does he say anything dismissive to them. When he blushes at Xion’s comment, however, it is with a negative reaction. Consider also that if the author wanted Roxas to appear straight, she would present them in ways that allude to straightness and NOT in ways that allude to queerness. Roxas would not do suggestively queer things like blush in flattery at Axel calling him special and then dismiss Xion’s suggestion that they are holding hands if he were simply coded as straight. Queering a text sometimes requires a lot of critical thought like this. This is because again, these things are hidden, and sometimes hidden really well so that unsuspecting straight people will not even consider the queer suggestions. This is one of the advantages Nomura has in his favor with Kingdom Hearts: by making it so convoluted, the gay text can be forward, strong, and blatant but remain undetected by straight powers. This keeps the series safe from oppressive scrutiny. Characters like Namine and Xion can exist as literal illustrations of compulsory-heterosexuality. And people will still think Sora and Riku are straight. 

Even if I don’t know all the queer codes Japanese culture might specifically have, (and I do not, I do not live in Japan nor have any semblance of what that is like beyond what my friends who have lived there can tell me, and what I can research while sitting in my pajamas in Kentucky lol), there are certain things that are rather universal. Blushing, physical contact, lingering gazes, etc etc. Attraction is attraction and certain body language and other physical symbols will translate and will travel. So that’s the majority of what I will have to focus on. 

But I do want you to know that rainbows are still gay in Japan. 

Finally I also want to express that cultural intermingling is a thing. We do not live in bubbles, especially with the internet. Our cultures affect each other ALL the time. Although Kingdom Hearts is primarily a Japanese series, it is consciously tailored to appeal to both America and Japan. This is by design given the idea was to marry a Japanese hit like Final Fantasy with an American phenomenon like Disney’s media. This is why they take special care in minding the English translations and dubbing of the KH games (when they are able to do so, mistakes are still very often made and i hate it cuz they’re usually heterosexual-agenda-pushing “mistakes” =~=). The games are so intimately tied to both the Japanese and American cultures they are derived from which is part of why accurate translations are so important. And given what they would mean for queer audiences, what they represent for queer people makes accurate translations even MORE important. Some things get quite lost in translation, and some things are grossly added in translation. We will discuss that down the line...   

A brief aside that I implore you to ignore:

On the subject of Roxas not being straight, I have heard of one really fun queer motif in Japanese media which is ”ryoutoutsukai (両刀使い)”, “the two sword fencer”: the dual wielding bisexual. Now- I do not necessarily think this is a means of coding Roxas as bisexual, and beyond that, from what I’ve heard in my research on bisexuality in Japan, certain age groups don’t even believe in bisexuality there. However, a love of more than one gender exists no matter who is willing to acknowledge it or not, and this motif is there. And Promisekeeper and Oblivion do rather fit the bill of representing homosexuality (Oblivion/Soriku) and heteronormativity (Promisekeeper/Sora and his childhood friend Kairi). So- while i don’t think it means anything, this fun idea is there~  I will say, however, that as far as I can tell, Nomura and his staff know exactly what they’re doing with their queer coding and are well connected to it in both cultures. So I mean- if any anime team would know bisexuality exists and how to code it, I firmly believe the KH team would, so. There is some food for thought for you~

Get ready for part 3, I hope you like TWEWY~ B)

[your-1up-girl]

This Freedom Doesn’t Scare Me at All

A bit of an AU where the stories of FF7r and KH are combined to create this fanfic. There are going to be somethings that don't match the FF universe but just roll with it for this fic. Aerith talks about freedom with Naminé who is experiencing everything herself. For @aerith-week day 5. 

Word Count: 1788

Warnings: Slight Clerith and Namiku. Also descriptions of someone getting badly injured and character death but I hope it’s not too bad.

Read on Ao3

“Cid, just give me a list! You don’t have to explain what each part does!”

“Last time I gave you a list, you came back with things that were never even on there!”

“But did you use them?”

“I’ll just wait outside…” Aerith quickly got herself out of the argument that was about to explode between Cid and Cloud. It was just going to be a simple errand run but when Cid wanted parts for his computer, it became an all day endeavor. He would get mad if you got the wrong one. Even if you followed the list to a T, he would still find something wrong with it.

“THEN WHY NOT JUST BUY THEM YOURSELF CID?!?” Ah, Aerith heard that Yuffie caught wind of the debate. It’s a good thing Merlin wasn’t home, he would have had all of their heads...Maybe she should give him a call? Her thought was interrupted when she saw Naminé sitting in the flowers. Her head was tilted up at the sky and a sketchbook in her lap.

"Hello Naminé, may I join you?"

Naminé was startled for just a moment before responding, "Oh yes, sorry I just got distracted." Aerith fixed her dress and sat next to her. She noticed that there was some art supplies near her and on the page of the book was the sky above them and some of the buildings in the square. "Do you ever just look up at the sky?" The question came out of nowhere and sounded more rhetorical so Aerith remained silent so the young girl could continue. "The sky looks so different every place you go. The sunrise on Destiny Island is different than the sunset in Twilight Town. And the evening sky in the Land of Departure is vastly different that the daytime here in Radiant Garden." As Naminé talked to Aerith, she flipped through her sketch book. She had different skies of each location she named. "I try to draw the sky where ever I go but, it just doesn't give the real thing justice. It was one thing to see everything through Sora's memories, but to experience everything for myself." Naminé took a deep breath in and slowly let it out. "This is like nothing I have ever experienced before." Aerith just listened to Naminé. It was nice to see the girl experience this new life she got to have. Her smile was still there but Aerith could see her eyes had a somber look to them, "Riku says he's going to ask the King if we can take the Gummi ship and go to all the different worlds they went to but, I just feel all that open world it I just..."

"You get scared?"

"Yeah. Do you know that feeling?"

"I think I know that feeling all too well." Aerith fixed her dress. Naminé was waiting for her to continue and Aerith sighed. "Cloud, Leon, Tifa, we aren't actually from Radiant Garden. We're actually from a place called Midgar."

"What was Midgar like?"

"I have no idea. You see, I was born in a lab. What I mean is that my mom had me in a lab. For the first few years of my life, I was trapped. It was just me, my mom, and the scientists who would run tests on us. It was awful. The only resemblance of outside I got to experience were from the stories that my Mother would read to me."

"I had no idea."

"It's okay, no one really knew. Plus, it's not something that I really talk about."

"You don't have to tell me if this is too much for you."

"No, sometimes it's good to talk about these things. I lived in the lab for the first few years of my life. Then, when I was maybe about eight? Nine? My mom decided she would take me and we would escape. How she was able to come up with a plan to get us out of there was beyond me. But she did it. Unfortunately for us, that was the same day that the Heartless attack our world and we lost it to darkness. Up until that moment, I thought that the world was just as beautiful as the way I imagined it in the book." Aerith hugged her knees close to her as she remembered. "I was so terrified as she carried me outside. Everything was falling, the sky was an awful mix of black, yellow, and purple. People were being turned into Heartless. I was traumatized."

"Your Mother, did she turn into..."

Aerith shook her head, "No. As she ran, a part of a building fell in front of us. It caused us to fall into the slums below. My Mother took most of the fall to keep me safe. Even when I told her I would walk, she wouldn't let me go. At this point she could barely move and she fell. The fall was too much for her. And of course, because luck was on our side that day, more debris fell on her. It pinned her to the ground. It was the first time I looked at her since we escaped. Her face was bloodied and her left arm had a gash that ran down her forearm. Her lip was cut and so was the top of her head. She wouldn't move and I could see that the Darkness was coming closer. I called out for help and tied to move her, but of course I couldn't do anything. Cid found us as he was taking everyone to his Gummi ship. He ran to us and my Mother just said, Take care of Aerith." Aerith wiped a tear from her cheek and continued. "I must have passed out because we made it to Radiant Garden and I was in a bed at Merlin's house."

Naminé leaned in close to Aerith doing anything she could to comfort her, "What happened once you made it here?"

"I didn't leave my room. I was young and in my mind I connected the idea of escaping to the world ending again. I thought that if I even looked outside everything would collapse. So, I kept my door closed at all times and the curtains drawn. Everyone would try to get me to go outside but I was so afraid of the unknown that was out there. I thought that going outside would ruin everything all over again. I did that until I was about thirteen." Aerith looked down at Naminé who remained at her side. "But, I wasn't a complete hermit. I would talk to Yuffie and Tifa when they went out to the market place. Cid would talk to me about dinner recommendations or just how my day was. And Merlin brought me books. He saw that I brought the one my Mother would read to me so her would give me some of his old ones. My favorite was the one about flora and fauna. It was very large, each page was full of descriptions of how to take care of plants and animals. The plants fascinated me the most."

"How did Cloud help you?"

"Well Could, he was an introvert and would only see me if other people were in the room. But then one day he came to my room with a potted plant in his arms. He placed it on my dresser and said, 'It's one thing to look at them in pictures but I thought you might like the real deal.' That's what started it all." Aerith went into greater detail of how Cloud would bring her a new plant for her room until it eventually looked like a green house. "On my thirteenth birthday he brought me beautiful yellow lilies, but of course at that point there was no room for them." Aerith sighed as she recalled this memory and Naminé patiently waiting for her to continue, "I knew what he was going to say next, he said if I wanted more I would have to plant some outside." Aerith shook her head and laughed, "I wanted to throw him out of my room at that moment, flowers or not."

Naminé laughed with her, "So what did you do?"

"Well I didn't throw him out, but he could tell I was apprehensive about leaving my room. So he just told me, 'Aerith, you can't be afraid of living your life just because something bad may happen. Bad things happen to people all the time, but that doesn't stop everyone from experiencing the good.' He held out his hand for me to take. And even though I was screaming internally, I knew he was right. So I took his hand and we walked outside. Cloud didn't care that I held on to him. If anything he held me tighter when he felt that I was shaking. Finally, I walked out the door to this same beautiful sky that you see." They both looked up again. "When I stayed inside my room, it felt as thought the air was also suffocating me. I was trapped by my own fear. But when I walked outside, I could finally breathe again. I cried at how fresh the air, the breeze, everything felt so freeing."

"Sorry, that little anecdote I had, I guess I needed to talk about it after all." Aerith gave a nervous laugh but Naminé shook her head with a smile.

"No, don't worry, I understand what you were trying to tell me. I can't be afraid of all this freedom I now have. I was so used to being trapped that it became the only thing I knew. But know that I have a heart. The only thing that's stopping me is me." Naminé stood up with a new resolve. "I'm going with Riku! Nothing I going to stop me. Maybe we can invite Sora and Kairi too."

"That's the spirit, but something tells me that Riku would like to go with just you." Naminé didn't have too much time to think about what she meant because Cloud came up behind them.

"Hey, you ready? Cid finally gave me a list."

"Mhm. Naminé would you like to come with us? We could get you some art supplies or a new dress for when you go with Riku?"

Naminé had packed her things and was ready to head home but stopped, "Oh, you wouldn't mind?"

"No, not at all." Cloud smiled at her and took the small messenger bag that held her sketch book and color pencils. Standing in between them Naminé held Cloud's hand in her left and Aerith's in her right as they walked to the market place.