#i accidentally posted the wrong ask in the wrong drafts and ended up writing a prompt that literally no one asked for

[forgottengodfrey]

lizzydobbs: " we all have secrets, don't we? " (edmund)

Godfrey was still, gaze flicking to meet Edmund's and slowly he smiled. He did not answer at once, bending instead to drop another log upon the hearth. Outside, the winds shrieked their fury upon the castle and, within, its denizens shivered.

Resuming his seat, Godfrey folded his hands before him as he looked at his nephew. "I have secrets?"

"All men have secrets."

Godfrey smiled, inclined his head. "Very good. What do you imagine my secrets are?"

"You wish me to succeed my father."

"Is that a secret?"

It was Edmund's turn to smile knowingly. "Oh, yes," he said. "The very greatest of them all, being so publically known as it is."

Chuckling, Godfrey poked at the flames. "Go on."

"Showing your hand so freely leaves you room to maneuver freely as well. They will not see you coming in other avenues because they believe they know what you are after."

Godfrey inhaled deeply. "I've trained you well, haven't I?"

"It remains to be seen."

He shook his head. "It doesn't. I see it already. I'm proud of you, Edmund."

The boy glanced down and Godfrey exhled slowly. He didn't hear it often enough. Godfrey licked his lips, let it be for now. He did not wish to come off sacchrine and, thereby, insincere. His pride was very real, and he ished to always assure that Edmund never questioned that, seeing as so few others ever showed it.

"Now, tell me the rest, will you? You don't imagine that I secretly plot against you, do you? It's been some time since we've had one of our lessons. The pupil is quick becoming the master, I think."

Edmund laughed. "Of course you don't plot against me. The fact that your stated endgoal is genuine in no way prevents it from also serving as a diversion, as well, when necessary -- sometimes even in its own service. The trick in that is blinding the onlooker to the connection between one thing and the next."

Smiling again, Godfrey nodded. "What if I told you, Edmund...I believe I have just such a scheme already underway. It's in early stages: perhaps not yet fit for sharing...but I assure you: my efforts on your behalf are ongoing."

"I have no doubt." Edmund stood, then, heaving another log onto the fire. "I did say, uncle," he added, claiming the poker and prodding the flames with it. "We all have secrets."

[dear-bunnyboo]

𝐌𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐒 || 𝐉𝐎𝐄 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐖

Since I’ve been focusing on my Joey B series for the a couple of weeks now, I decided to change it up a bit and write a one shot for a change,,, enjoy!

This was submitted to me anonymously by one of y’all and I accidentally posted it instead of saving it to drafts, so I ended up deleting it. So whoever, requested for this— I really hope you see this 🤍

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Joe Burrow x Reader

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: On the outside Joe was seen as serious and stoic but what they don’t see behind the scenes is the big baby you call your boyfriend.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: fluff, more fluff, cursing, teasing, slight tension, flirting, established relationship, pet names, and did I mention fluff?

𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐜. 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 || 𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

Joe Burrow is one of the best quarterbacks in the league. His teammates and opponents alike would always share both privately and publicly how Joe was someone they are scared to play against— calling him "silent but deadly". Players that had the opportunity to play against him would either call him "calm" or "poised". He had an attitude and mentality that either shocked or scared people— Joe could handle tackle after tackle, the trash talk he would get in the field would go in an ear and out the other— he'd listen quietly and prove them wrong in so many ways.

Joe is cold as ice.

He is ruthless on the field and outside he was serious. So, it seems amusing to you how your "scary" boyfriend was walking around with a literal pout gracing his face as he trailed behind you while you decorated your house for Halloween.

"You can continue that later. Let's watch the new show I was talking about— come on, baby." Joe whined with his deep gruff voice.

It was a peculiar dynamic you two had, one that both puzzled and amused the people around you. On the surface, he was a towering, imposing figure, someone whom people would describe as intimidating, even scary. But they didn't know the softer side of him, the part he revealed only to you, and it was something truly endearing.

At first, you couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by his clinginess. He would drop everything he was doing if you asked him to, and he would eagerly help with any request, no matter how trivial or absurd it might be. He was the kind of boyfriend who would move mountains to make you happy, and at times, it was a lot to handle— but you truly wouldn't have it any other way.

"Joe that's the thing— the second we start cuddling on that sofa, we would never leave and I need to finish decorating the house before the party." you explained to your boyfriend who was looking at you like he was about to pick you up and slam you down on the couch.

"The party is not until tomorrow night." You and Joe were hosting a Halloween party with your closest friends tomorrow night and you wanted everything to be perfect.

"How about you help me. This way we can finish faster and then we can watch the show." you proposed to the blonde who seemed to like the idea of fasten the pace of decorating.

"I'm all yours, baby. What do you want me to do?" Joe grabs the pumpkin decoration from your hand.

You smiled at his enthusiasm to help before directing him to place the decoration in the kitchen.

It took you a while to get used to Joe's affection. and once you got to know him better, you began to understand the depth of his affection. He was fiercely loyal and protective, and his commitment to your relationship was unwavering. His willingness to go the extra mile for you was his way of showing how much he cared.

Despite Joe's imposing exterior, he was surprisingly tender and considerate. He would try to cook your favorite meals, leave sweet notes hidden for you to find, and surprise you with small, thoughtful gestures. Joe knows all your favorite songs, your deepest fears, and the little quirks that made you who you are.

Joe's softness was most evident in the way he treated his friends, particularly when they needed help. He was the dependable rock in their lives, the one who would listen to their problems and offer a shoulder to lean on. It was a side of him that they cherished, and one that he didn't feel the need to hide.

Both your friends couldn't quite grasp this side of him. They would tease him mercilessly, calling him whipped, and questioning why he worshipped the ground you walked on. But you knew it wasn't about worship; it was about love. He didn't just love you; he adored you, and he wanted to make you feel cherished and special every single day.

You silently watched as Joe carefully rearranged the different Halloween decorations across the house making sure they looked perfect according to your standards. He patiently moved them around as you directed him over and over again with not a single complain whatsoever— only the compliment every minute or so. "You have an eye for this." he said as he moved back to get a more detailed look, his hands on his hips as he gave you his most beautiful smile, "You are amazing at decorating, baby." Joe said before placing a peck on your lips

You glanced at the clock, realizing that it was much later than you had anticipated. As much as you loved decorating, you knew that spending time with Joe was equally important. He was patient, but you could see the excitement in his eyes as he talked about the show.

"Well, it's late and it's hard to resist your persuasive charms. Alright, let's watch your show, but I might sneak a few glances at the decor every now and then." you smiled up at him. Joe's face lit up with a warm smile, and he gently pulled you into his arms.

"Deal! I promise you won't regret it. And, who knows, maybe taking a break will inspire some new decorating ideas. Plus, we can relax and unwind together. I promise, I'll help you with anything tomorrow." Joe beamed at you before carrying you to the living room.

This is how Joe found himself at a bakery the next day— you asked him to pick up the cakes and desserts for the party and Joe could not say no because of your pretty little eyes staring up at him— plus he promised.

Joe was accompanied by Ja'Marr, Tee, and Sam who were attending the party as well as you busied yourself with the final touches back at home. You were sitting in the living room, trying to figure out what else to add to the area, engrossed in your own world when your phone pinged with an incoming video from Ja'Marr. Curious, you opened it to find your boyfriend's face illuminated on the screen. But what caught your attention was the laughter and teasing from his friends in the background— which were the laughs and voices of Ja'Marr, Tee, and Sam who should be helping Joe pick up the food for tonight.

"Joey B!" Ja'Marr exclaimed, as the camera panned to Joe's phone who simply stood with his phone out and a smirk on his face— shaking his head because of his friends’ behavior.

There, on the screen, was a clear shot of your contact information on Joe's phone. The caller ID photo was a picture of you from one of your early dates, smiling against a stunning sunset backdrop. In the photo, you had the biggest smile on your face that Joe has always found adorable.

The caller ID they were teasing him about was 'Mamas'— the pet name Joe would call you from time to time which was your absolute favorite. There was just something about the way your boyfriend says it that gets you going— however, you didn't know that this was what your contact was saved on his phone.

"Aw, dude, that's so cute!" Sam chortled, pointing at the screen. "You've got her as your caller ID with that sappy picture? Man, you're whipped!"

Amidst the laughter and playful jabs, Joe just chuckled and defended himself, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Yeah, yeah, whatever, guys. I like it, alright."

Your heart melted as you watched the video. Here was your boyfriend, being openly teased and mocked by his friends for his cute caller ID choice, and he didn't mind one bit. Joe was unapologetic about his feelings for you, and his friends couldn't help but admire that fact.

"Alright, man. Say goodbye to Y/N." Ja'Marr pointed to camera back to Joe's face who still had that damn smirk on his face he knew you loved.

"Bye, Mamas." Joe's deep voice resonated almost knocking the air out of your chest, you were now blushing as you stared at your phone— giggling as you laid back on the couch, your thoughts only on Joe, completely forgetting the task that you had in hand.

"Bye, Mamas!" "Mamas! "Bye bye, Mamas!" Tee, Ja'Marr, Sam chorused before a loud yet gruff voice interrupted off screen.

"You don't get to fucking call her that."

The video ended with his friends continuing to tease, but there was an undertone of respect and camaraderie in their laughter. It was clear to you that the love and affection he had for you were transparent in every aspect of his life, even his phone's caller ID.

You felt a warm, glowing pride knowing that Joe wasn't afraid to embrace his love for you, even in the face of good-natured ribbing from his friends. It was a sweet reminder of the affection you two shared, and it made you heart swell with happiness.

In Joe's presence, you felt safe and loved, knowing that you had someone who would stand by your side through thick and thin. You could see past the intimidating facade and into the heart of a man who was simply head over heels in love with you. His clinginess, as others might call it, was a testament to the intensity of his feelings.

Your relationship was a unique blend of toughness and tenderness, a world only the two of you truly understood. As you walked through life hand in hand, you realized that you didn't need the world to see what you saw in him. The softness beneath his exterior was a precious gift he had given you, and you cherished it with all your heart.

dividers: @cafekitsune

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @jackkyhughes @h0e4fictionalme-n @queenmendes @rd14 @scoobydoopoo @estapa94 @karmasabitchybitch @literaturelustrr @toterry @fangirl-madz @atticusismybae @stargaryenx @haydee5010 @porter113 @ryiamarie @starrgir1 @flwries @slafgoalskybaby @unsaidjaelinrose @in-my-body-bag @cixrosie @siutforjjmaybank @youn-jo @nobystanderz @bb-swift @buckystwilight @kidrauhlakaperf @kkrenae @catswag22 @hustler-sinner @asparklysoul @kaydesssssssss @97bngchn @dunningz @whiteleoqueen @austinswhitewolf

ೃ⁀➷ comment or message me to be added to the tag list :)

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ SUBMIT A REQUESTS AND ASK ME ANYTHING!

: ̗̀➛ requests are always open ♡

-𝐛𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐲ఌ

[l0ves1ckf0ol]

NOT SO BAD | xavier thorpe x gn!reader

"rita wouldn't be wrong though."

this was requested by anon, but i accidentally posted it by accident ( a draft) but then i took down the post to write a new one (aka this one) enjoy (also theres some mentions of death so.)

"hey freak!" before xavier could even turn around and see who it was, he got shoved down to the brick floor, he would have tasted dirt if he didn't close his mouth. he sighed, standing up to look back at the jericho goons, "you think you could storm your way here? in our own homes? you're the one who makes drawings come to life right?" they flood xavier's head with taunting questions that he didn't even get to answer.

it was the dreaded day of the festival. he had a lot of stuff going on in his head, and he certainly did not want to have his fun with these normies. defeated, he continues to walk away, not wanting to deal with them right now. they kept on chasing him though, until he stops next to a certain someone.

"look will you guys just shut the fuck up and leave me alone, you won't even be eating real food right now if it weren't for our principal funding your stupid charities to a town that can't even appreciate the minority." xavier spat, fed up the dudes just looked stunned, he thought he'd shut them up but it wasn't quite the case. xavier turns around to see a normie, in which was glaring dread into their souls.

"scram." that they did.

once they scrambled away, xavier only stared at the person. they look towards xavier and sighed, "sorry. the welcome comittee isn't as welcoming as it is intended." they apologized. xavier hummed, as his eyes landed on the tray of bread samples you were selling by a bakery.

"hey, can i have one? long day." he asks and they nodded in response. he takes a piece of cheese bread and began to eat.

xavier begins to wonder why he hasn't seen you, in the previous trips to jericho. "you new here?" he asked "ancestors lived here for years, i just went insane and managed to run away. and by insane i meant that an outcast friend of mine was killed." you told him, xavier sighed "did you kill that friend?"

you laughed hysterically, he then grew concerned of your behavior. "no, no, i didn't. someone killed her, no one in this town would just admit it. it's kept on the down low since then." you replied gravely. "when was this?" he questions you, you could sense his own curiosity "she didn't even make it until school starts to actually go to your school, she stayed at home mostly, it was around june when she got killed."

xavier hummed, never hearing of such a thing. it really was well hidden, if not, the normie was lying.

"your name?" xavier looked at them and forced a smile "xavier." you nodded, "y/n."

"i'm visiting her later, well by later i mean 30 minutes from now, my shift ends from there. wanna meet up there?" xavier scoffed, "typical setting to beat an outcast up, huh?" you rolled your eyes, "look mr. trust issues, i know you're on edge and shit and it's more than fine if you wouldn't come. as much as i hate to say this, you're unattracting customers." you grit your teeth, facing the groups of people staring at the both of you. xavier then walks away, contemplating whether or not would he want to meet up a normie.

he looks back, seeing customers now swarning the normie with the tray of bread, seeing you smile and attend to them made his heart go soft for a moment.

at that moment, he swerved his direction to the cemetery instead of weathervane.

-

when he arrived, you were following right behind him. holding a plastic bag of chips and scented candles. "what are the chips for?" he asks you as you stomped on orange autumn leaves, on your way to your friend's grave, passing by mossy and old ones, xavier was still doubtful of his decision, the cemetery was inclosed and no one would even hear him scream for help. "rita hates flowers, she likes junk food and scented candles so i bought some." you told him as you finally slowed down to a less flithy gravestone. you set down a bag of lays chips on the stone and opened one for yourself, setting down the candles as well. xavier crossed his arms as he read the engravings:

rita lupin

born: 2006 died: 2021

it was glad to know that his possible normie friend wasn't an asshole after all. he has never been to a funeral before, let alone even visited a grave, this was his first time and he definitely didn't expect some smiles from you as you stare down at the grave.

"hey rita, this is xavier. he was going to be your classmate y'know? anyway what are you- a werewolf or.."

"i'm just telekinetic."

he did not expect a normie to be talking to a grave.

you looked at the sky, closing your eyes and smiled. "rita would find you cute." you chuckle, he raises an eyebrow, stifiling a giggle "wow, rita is nice." he mutters. you knelt down and grab a lighter from you back pocket and leaned the candles on the stone, lighting up each one "i mean rita is not wrong though" you wink at him and he rolls his eyes with a wry chuckle. now it was just plain silence, the wind brushing past them, leaves occasionally floating along with it.

"do you ever cry, whenever you... y'know, visit her?" he asked you. "who wouldn't? she's the best werewolf i met." you replied, now facing him ever since you both arrived here. "you've never visited a grave before?" you asked. he shook his head, "nope." you nod in response. "to relieve you right now, sorry for y'know whatever normies fo to you and your peers. i also actually never knew you all existed until.." you trail off. the silence grew louder, xavier raised an eyebrow.

"until?"

"until ol' rita here." you point towards her with a sigh. xavier examines you, you're glassy eyes and your longing gaze, you seemed genuine. he didn't know why would you invite an outcast like him to visit your dead friend, or why did he even agree.

xavier silently admits he was wrong about this normie. maybe they were the exception, they weren't that bad after all.

[katyawriteswhump]

the power of love, part 14

Sorry about Sunday's empty post ☹️ I must've accidentally put a draft template in my queue because I am basically tired and rubbish and life isn’t the greatest right now. Anyhow.... Whoops and really sorry again!

Alternate ending S4: Steve has a habit of surviving near death experiences then getting sick for no reason. And Eddie and those fatal bat bites? After an impossible feat of mouth-to-mouth resuscitation from Steve, he’s mysteriously fixed. So, Eddie’s back to being banished, this time with Steve and Robin in tow. Eddie’s healing, but Steve isn’t… and life gets even more confusing, when Eddie develops feelings for Steve, which aren’t entirely unrequited.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 15

(also on AO3 here and as part of my steve whump fic series)

Eddie POV

When neither Steve nor Robin show up after ten minutes, Eddie begins to freak out. 

He, Hopper and El are still waiting for the car, out of sight among some ferns. Hopper’s getting antsy, muttering beneath his breath, while Eddie’s wriggling like he’s got ants in his pants. Which he genuinely might have, though that’s not what’s bugging him:

“Uuuuh, shall I see what’s taking them so long?”

“You do that,” says Hopper. “What’s going on with that guy? He could barely stand! How the hell could he…”

Eddie tunes out, retracing their journey into the trees, calling Robin’s name then Steve’s. Maybe Steve passed out, and Robin got lost searching? Somehow, he doesn’t buy it. A heaviness slows his feet, and his guts twist sourly. 

They wouldn’t just ditch him. Surely? Surely!?! 

Fifteen minutes later, he winds up where he started: “They’re not back?” 

“What do you reckon?” Hopper’s breathing hard and red in the face. Evidently, he’s been running in circles like Eddie has.

“This is for you.” El nudges Eddie and presses a scrap of paper into his hand. “I think Steve left it.”

“What? Where?” Eddie’s stomach clamps tight again. 

Her eyes stretch very wide. “Fell out of your pack.”

Turning the note over in his hands, his fingers stiffen, as if shrinking from the task, bracing for… something. In the event, he gets a literal slap around the face.

“You make me sick,” Steve wrote.

Eddie’s skin burns with the blow. Wow! This is why I never have and never freakin’ will write love songs.

“What does he say?” demands Hopper.

Eddie scans the note one more time, scrunches it in his fist. “I’d hazard a guess he’s gone back to Hawkins.”

“Goddammit! Robin’s gone with him?”

“I think that’s a safe bet.” A wobble in the back of Eddie’s throat finds its way into his voice. Because, boy, is he still processing.

You make me sick. 

What does that even mean? To be fair, Eddie did make Steve sick. More than once. But why the heck write… that. Would suck less to be dumped without a word. 

Thanks for the overkill, man.

“Don’t you even think about scooting off,” growls Hopper. “Your uncle would never forgive me.” 

Oh yeah. Wayne. The only person who ever actually cared about him.

Eddie plonks his butt down on the ground and waits for the car.

…

Steve POV

“C’mon, giddy up,” says Steve. He and Robin make their way along the muddy bank of the stream towards home.

“Is this some kind of race?” she asks. “While I’d forgotten your former life as a douchebag jock, you’re doing a stunning job of reminding me, and… Uuuuugh!” 

“Jesus Christ, what’s wrong this time?” He spirals about, plants his hands on his hips—he’d ditched the sling a while ago. 

She scrubs madly at her lips. “I swallowed a bug! Ugh, ugh, ugh, mega-gross. Eeeeurgh!”

“Maybe if you weren’t complaining, like, constantly, there’d be less opportunities for bugs to get in.” 

“You shut up, shit-bird! I could die of malaria.” She spits into the stream. “Ew! EEEEEEEW!” 

“Ssssh! Hop said the military will be crawling everywhere soon, or—”

“Eddie might hear?” His heart heaves a loaded thud. She looks back sharply, purses her lips. “You know, he could be lost in the wilderness, all alone. Being hunted by evil army thugs. Or bears! Did you think of that when you sauntered off?”

“I did, yeah. I left him a message saying not to follow.” He shades his face from the afternoon sunlight, which shafts between the trees. Also, he can’t look her straight on and say this: “It was kinda brutal, I guess. It was for his own good, right?”

“Oh. Riiiight.”

“You done spewing insects?” he snaps.

“Still heavily grossed-out here. Gimme a minute, ’kay?” She plonks herself on a rock, crumpling forward.

He mops his brow, strips his sweater, and takes the opportunity to check in on his bat bites. They’re still sore, the bandages a bit bloody. Nothing too fresh, though. For the billionth time, his thoughts fly back to Eddie. He hopes Eddie doesn’t get hurt and need healing while they’re apart, and… Holy shit, will he ever see him again? He ties his sweater around his hips, trying to make fumbling hands look casual.

“Steve? You okay?”

“Other than the fact I’m modelling a ‘shoot-me-now-why don’t-you?’ Hellfire Club t-shirt,”—and that I want to punch myself in the face about that moronic note—“I’m good, Robin.”

“You know what? I don’t doubt it.” She brushes her flyaway hair from suspicious eyes. “You’ve gone from death’s door to super-human speed in, oh, I don’t know—feels to me that we’ve been marching for a week. I think it’s been barely an hour.”

“Yeah? We got a long way to go then.” He starts off along the stream’s edge, forcibly slowing his pace. He senses her puffing, panting, then following on his heels.

“Look, Steve, this water goddess who’s pulling you back, whispering in your ear—”

“I can’t actually tell if they’re male or female. Does that matter?”

“Not in the slightest. So, your water… deity. Have they, by any chance, enlightened you as to some kind of divine plan? Or told you exactly where you’re heading?” 

“I got an idea where I’m going, yeah.” To the second place he died, swept away on that blood-red tide—even now, he sees it in his head, like a few frames of a horror VHS stuck on eternal repeat. “Where’s the best place for army generals with dodgy agendas to hang out in Hawkins? There’s never been an army base, apart from—”

“You’re kidding me?” She grabs his elbow, jerking him back. “The Soviet tunnels?” He nods, and her obvious dread has her dropping him like a stone. “No way! I don’t think I can go anywhere near without a major panic attack."

“I’m not gonna march straight in.” He’s already wandering on. Trouble is, now he’s said the idea out loud, it’s become real and terrible. And he’s gotta pretend like his blood’s not congealing to ice. “I don’t know how I’m gonna get in anyhow. I mean, the Starcourt lift is buried under a ton of rubble. I think Hop might’ve know other ways—”

“Oooh, I got a great idea. Let’s go back and ask him.”

“Yeah, real subtle.”

“Steve!” She seizes him again, twisting him around with a furious force. “I know you want to help El, but what can you ACTUALLY DO?” He shrugs before he can stop himself. “Rain? Lightning? How does that benefit us—especially in underground tunnels? Plus you’ve had literally zero time for practice. If we don’t slow down and come up with a decent plan, this is tantamount to suicide.”

“We? Seriously, Robin, I…” His teeth clamp his lower lip. Any moment now, he’ll tell her how terrified he is, how he really, really doesn’t want to get tortured again, let alone die; how the idea of anything bad happening to her is as frightening as any of it. “I don’t think I have much choice.”

“Steve,” she says, gentler now, though her grip gouges into his flesh. “It’s screamingly obvious you’re not thinking straight. You’ve been ill for days and now you’re in a funk, beating yourself up over Eddie.”

He yanks himself free, glares. “That doesn’t make any dif—"

“Bullshit! Trust me, however ‘mean boy’ your literary masterpiece got, Eddie won’t want you to do anything this dumb. Oh, and your resident gender-fluid angel saved your life. They’re not gonna want you to sacrifice it pointlessly.”

He opens his mouth to argue, then shuts it again. He laughs—not a particularly happy laugh, but not totally miserable either. “You win,” he says, kinda sagging with relief. “You got a plan, smarty-pants?”

She laughs with him, equally edgy. “I say we go to Lover’s Lake, wait till it’s dark. If that’s too dangerous, we find some hidden pool where you can practise whatever badass moves you think you got. Hopefully without the puking. It’ll be a bit like Band Camp. But for Magic. Magic Camp. Okay?”

“You really aren’t gonna be happy until I’m a bigger nerd that any of… Shit!” 

He’s been considering hugging her. Instead, he seizes her sleeve, dragging her down into a deep, wet gully. They land with a splash, crouching low, close. She doesn’t complain, because she’s heard what he has.

The distant sound of barking dogs. Likely, army search dogs.

“Dog barks travel for miles, huh?” he whispers.

“Possibly.” She sucks in a scared breath. “One thing for sure—those sniffy wet snouts can pick up a human scent from the next county.”

“We’re in a stream, Robin. They can’t pick up our scent here, right?”

She crinkles her nose, dubious. “Dogs’ sense of smell is pretty amazing.”

“Yeah? Let’s hope this bunch caught colds or something.” 

He’s now the one clutching her way too tight, and he half-wishes he’d ditched her with a bitchy note too. Though, not quite. She smart; he needs her, and she’s really has gotten him thinking clearer: 

“We head for Lover’s Lake. C’mon.”

…

Eddie POV

When the sound of the car engine finally reaches his hearing, Eddie feels almost nothing.

“Don’t move.” Hopper pitches Eddie a forbidding look and grabs El, keeping them low behind the ferns. 

An owl hoots. Despite the hollowness in his chest, Eddie silently cracks up. Seriously? Top secret government goons can’t think of a better signal than me and Robin? 

Hopper’s grip slides to the firearm at his side. He rises slowly. “Over here.”

Peeping between the foliage, Eddie can make out a limo-style saloon with blacked-out windows. A severe-faced woman in lethal stilettos climbs out. “Chief Hopper, I presume? I apologise for the delay. O’Sullivan’s got men everywhere. We must leave right away.”

Hopper, nevertheless, remains stood well off the road with Eleven, not rushing for the car. And Eddie? 

You make me sick.

Steve’s made it simple for him. He should cut his losses and take this chance of escape. Wayne would want him to. Apart from… Eddie literally can’t. What was it that Steve said? Oh yeah. That he was being stretched in the wrong direction. Or something along those lines.

Yeah, I’m feelin’ it, Stevie. 

Nothing supernatural, nothing hinky. You kill me that bad, Babe—even after you turned meanie-King-Steve and dumped me. Oh, and went back to goddamn Mordor without me! 

Gonna trust you had your reasons, and I’m coming anyway.

He turns on his dirt-clotted heels and flees as fast as he can.

Part 15

...

tags: @estrellami-1 @kal-ology @finntheehumaneater (thank you, thank you, thank you!) If anybody else would like to be tagged on this fic or any of my writing, please let me know :) Reblogs, comments and likes also very much appreciated :) Thank you for reading so far :)

(also part of my steve whump fic series on AO3)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 15

[buckys-little-belle]

Hey maybe as an idea to continue the little terror acts of fairy what if she wants to pick shiny crystal rocks for Eddie as a Champaign prop or something but it actually ends up being glass shards? Maybe cuts her hand on one or something I don’t know it’s how you want I love your writing style of that particular story btw

Hellfire Babysitting Club (Part Five)

Little Shiny Things

Eddie Munson x Little!Reader (They/Them pronouns)/ The Hellfire Club x Little!Reader (They/Them Pronouns)

Warnings - Talks of cuts on hands, talks of glass, reader picks up glass, uses of bandaids and other medical supplies, shallow cuts but fairy picks up glass so they aren’t exactly perfectly fine

Notes - THIS IS EXACTLY HOW EDDIE LOOKS AT GARETH I SWEAR YOULL UNDERSTAND IN A SEC I JUST AHHHHH, this is really short, I had a longer draft done, but Tumblr ate it, and I genuinely can’t remember half of it’s plot. So please enjoy this short chapter!

SFW - Please keep all interactions with this post and with this blog SFW

- - - - - -

Y/n stood at their locker, a note in their hands, backpack slung over their shoulders. ‘Meet Gareth at our spot, I will be late. - Eddie.’ The note said, the messy writing written in black ink, clearly rushed.

Y/n huffed, confused as to why Gareth would be there too, they didn’t need a babysitter, at the moment. A little frustrated Y/n went to their next class, allowing themselves to get lost in the work in front of them.

- - - - - -

When the bell rang Y/n went back to their locker, placing books inside, and taking what they needed for the night. Rushing to the back doors, located closest to the field they needed to cross, they tripped, scraping their knee. The shorts they were wearing not giving any protection from the ground.

Y/n stood up, determined to get to the meeting spot, hoping to not slip, they didn’t want to prove anyone wrong in thinking they needed a babysitter. Y/n could do this themselves, they had bandaids in their bag, and they could stay big.

“Hey Fairy.” Gareth called out, sitting ontop of the picnic table, his bag on the bench, a notepad and pen in hand.

“What are writing?” Y/n said, sitting on a bench and pulling their bag up beside them, grabbing their first aid kit.

“A list of props for Eddie’s upcoming campaign.” He mumbled, looking to the sky as if he was asking it for answers. Quickly looking back down and jotting a few more words onto the page.

“Can I see?” Y/n chuckled, Gareth in the moment, not noticing how funny he looked.

“Mhm.” He mumbled, tilting the paper for them to see, things like ‘rocks’, ‘twigs’, ‘cape’, and ‘blue scrap fabric’, were written down, the biggest word being ‘CRYSTALS’ at the top of the page, a number one in front of it.

Y/n looked away, thinking about what they had at home, what they could contribute. They stood up eventually, slowly walking away from the table and closer to the thick forest, looking at the ground for twigs and rocks. Slowly they began picking up a few rocks, some twigs, and accidentally some dirt. Y/n chuckled again, walking towards the table to put things down when a twinkle distracted them. A small shiny peice of something sat under a few flowers, shielded slightly, but the sun was still able to highlight it.

Y/n crouched down, placing the things in their hands down in a small pile, leaning in towards the shiny thing. Thinking it could be a crystal, perfect for Eddie’s campaign, Y/n scooped it up, not taking a second to examine it. Immediately pain began to radiate through their hand, their palm warming. Looking down Y/n saw the small amount of blood on their hand, not too much to alert professional attention, but enough to begin slipping. The confusion and stress of the situation too much to handle, especially after a long day of school. “Gare?” Y/n whined, turning towards the boy.

Gareth had immediately perked up, his nickname ‘Gare’ only being used by Y/n when they were little. Looking over he saw a small grouping of green and yellow glass in the terror’s hand. A few of the smaller pieces poking slightly into their skin. “Okay, okay, crap.” He exclaimed, dropping the notebook and walking towards a now sobbing Y/n, grabbing their hand and slowly picking up the grouping of glass.

Y/n winced, the feeling uncomfortable but also reliving. “Hurts.” They whispered, looking up at Gareth, hoping for some sort of comfort or anything from him.

“I know, I know.” He said, walking the two of them over towards the picnic table, sitting Y/n down, him crouched down in front of them as he panicked.

“Fairy?” A distant voice called, clearly the voice belonged to Eddie. “Little Terror?” He sound louder, more frantic.

“‘s Eds.” Y/n whispered, silent tears streaming down their face as they slightly smiled, looking towards Eddie who had now turned into the clearing.

“Jesus H Christ.” He sighed when he saw Y/n crying, and their hand bloodied. “What happened?” He asked, taking Gareth’s place, crouching down in front of Y/n and grabbing their hand, his eyes quickly taking in the damage, then looking disapprovingly at Gareth.

“They grabbed a thing of glass off the ground.” Gareth murmured, he was quite literally there to keep an eye on Y/n, they had had a rough day and Eddie just wanted to be extra cautious because he was going to be late. Eddie looked up towards Gareth, anger clouding his eyes. “They were big, and they were just wandering!” Gareth exclaimed, trying to save himself. “I swear, I only had my eyes off of them for a second!”

“Enough.” Eddie said after seeing Y/n getting continually stressed, the more Gareth raised his voice. Eddie grabbed Y/n’s bag, opening it and grabbing a smaller bag, one that held some basic first aid items. He pulled out some bandaids and then rummaged through their backpack again. “Where is your bear?” He questioned, looking at Y/n confused. They always had their special bear in their backpack, just in case they needed some known comfort.

“‘s lost.” Y/n cried, their emotions going up and down rapidly. “He fell out a few days ago.” A pout was evident on their face, just pure unhappiness engulfed Y/n.

“How about we get you another one?” Eddie said, talking to distract Y/n from their hand, now being cleaned. “We can go shopping after the next meeting hm?” He hummed. Y/n winced as a bandaid was placed on one of the small cuts, but they nodded. “What will you name this one?” He asked, placing two more bandaids on other cuts.

“Maybe Eds?” They asked, their tone soft, and their face warm from crying.

“You can’t name it after me!” Eddie chuckled, planting a few kisses over Y/n’s hand, making them giggle.

“Then ‘m not sure.” Y/n sighed, looking at Eddie now and not their hand.

“You can name it when you see it.” Eddie suggested, standing up and packing the things he had taken out back into Y/n’s backpack. “Okay let’s get going.” He sighed, grabbing Y/n’s good hand and leading them out of the woods. “You’re off babysitting duty for a week.” Eddie said as he turned towards Gareth, Y/n chuckling.

“Eddie seriously?” Gareth questioned. “It was an accident!”

“I know, you just need some time to learn from it.” Eddie said, sounding oddly wise beyond his years.

“That’s bull-“ Gareth began.

“Don’t” Eddie said, finishing Gareth’s sentence. “What has you giggling little terror?” Eddie asked, now diverting his attention to Y/n who still held onto his hand.

“You said duty!” They screamed, a wide smile on their face as they pointed at Eddie. “Duty, duty, duty.”

[seeingteacupsindragons]

Lmao here, have the most ridiculously broad and all-encompassing writer ask ever to distract you:

How in the hell do you make a plot?

Jk, mostly. 😅 This is more a ramble than an ask I guess. I keep tinkering with the idea of actually writing A Story, but I just. I don't know. I get so bored so fast with the process of moving characters from Point A to Point B. I just want to stick people in a room and make them talk. (Or possibly make out, depending on the scenario.) Or I want to spend thousands of words just going on and on about a character's thoughts and emotions. That all works well for oneshot fanfics, but it's awful for doing longer fics or attempting something original. I just don't know how to make characters Go Places and Do Things and Have Goals. Which like...obviously you're not going to be able to magically solve that problem for me in a single post, but...any tips to get started that don't involve falling into the inescapable dungeon of Outlining?

Plot has always been an issue for me. Many moons ago, an agent told me that my book had a great voice but nothing actually happened in it: it was like one of those narrators you'd say you'd listen to read a phone book. Except, you know. Maybe it'd be nice if it wasn't a phone book.

I've had a tendency in the past to, ah...just have a series of things happen. Which is not actually a plot. It's a katamari ball. You can't just write things happening for several thousand words and then be like "ta-da!"

Well, I mean, you can. But it sure wasn't gettin' me an agent.

I'm getting better at this, I think, and structuring stories in general. Tiadane's book was the first book I got notes back from a CP that didn't basically say "the pacing and structure of this is fucked."

(Of course, I'm changing some of that anyway, but it's more incidental to other things I'm fixing than the major concern)

That said, it usually takes me a zero draft (first draft) to really figure out what the story is about and how to take it there. Every single ending for a story I had in mind before I got there has had to be ripped out. Every. Single. One. For ever novel I've ever edited. I'm so bad at getting to an ending I envisioned, because if I actually let the characters develop and change and the world build around them and the themes come through, where I wanted them to end up and the scenes I envisioned, is never really the culmination of how to do it.

A plot is really how a story develops. For me, this is generally character-based. For some people it's the world, for some people it's the actual events.

For a character story, the plot is basically what events are the catalyst that bring them to where they're going. How do they get there, and what happens to them to push them there? How did they react, and to what?

For a world story, the plot is generally focused on unfolding events around the world. I've seen this done with characters in different areas and or characters traveling, or even just in a kind of Epicenter. The plot will be how the world is changing, or how the world is being revealed to the reader, and what that means.

For a story of events, the plot is generally encircled around how things happen, who caused them and why, and what they do when they do happen, and what else they cause to happen.

I usually have a good strong start for about 10k words, and then the plot fizzles out as the initial concept I was running with has sort of been fulfilled and something needs to happen from it.

The way this happened in Tiadane's book was that he basically jumped into a goal, he completed the steps he set out to do, but it all went very wrong. And while he managed to get out of that disaster and take a breather, he had a couple choices: he could give up, or he could try something else to accomplish the goal (and what), or he could clean up the mess he accidentally made, etc.

Each of those would have been a very different Character, obviously. But what the important part of this character story was, was that he made a choice based on who he is as a character, but that he was the one reacting and doing something. There's characters stories about passive characters who don't do much, but they're not especially common because when a character isn't making choices (or perceived not to be), it gets really hard to reveal a character and the story doesn't go anywhere.

Sure, you could keep throwing things at them. But if those Various Things That Are Happening don't feel tied to something before (the character or other events), you have a string of events, not a nicely rising tide of story.

So it's not a matter of "things happening" but "which things going to happen to them after they did that?" and "what things are they going to do now?" and "what things are going to tell you what you want readers to know about the character?"

Sub character with world or events, as necessary.

Okay NOW I'm done, for now.

[batsplat]

Not to want to get you into hot waters but one of the blogs on here shared Marc’s onboard from the 2015 sepang kick incident and I’m a bit unsure how anyone could watch that and not consider it a deliberate kick? Really don’t want anyone to get mad because I’m no expert so maybe there’s something about Valentino’s movements that allows for the “accidental” kick option but if so, what is it? Because as a layman, watching it… I wish it were possible to show that video to Valentino and make him explain exactly how that kick was not on purpose…

I think it's genuinely ambiguous! this is what's interesting about it, right - if you look at the onboards and the helicopter shots there's a decent chance that depending on what you watch you'll end up with a pretty different view on it, and it's inarguable that from certain angles it looks incredibly like a kick. it's also inarguable that whether valentino kicked marc or not, he did deliberately attempt to run him wide, which you can see was intentional by how he looks behind him just before they make contact. it's still not clean riding whichever way you look at it, which is why he got the penalty

I'm going to defer to someone else's opinion here myself (you'll find I link back to this site a lot and broadly consider it trustworthy), from a bloke who does very much believe valentino was in the wrong that weekend. this is in the aftermath of the fim requesting that honda doesn't release data which would have 'proven' valentino kicked marc in an entirely futile attempt to make the controversy die down. the piece talks first about what data like this even involves, including this bit:

the main point here is that the data isn't going to tell you whether valentino kicked him or not, because that's not something you can actually read in data. I have another ask that's vaguely related to this sitting in my drafts, but it's always been one of the most interesting elements of all the controversy in late 2015 - both sides attempting to definitively prove the unprovable with a few numbers. let's quickly bring in what arguments both sides as well as race direction made in the immediate aftermath from the post-race piece by the same author:

that's valentino's explanation, right, marc's handlebar hit valentino's knee, which caused the leg movement as well as the crash. a little more from the immediate post-race write-up:

basically, the view here is that the two bikes make contact - and as a result of where marc hits valentino, valentino's foot is dislodged from the foot peg, catching marc's handlebars in the process. again, none of this actually exonerates valentino. whether there was a kick or no kick, you are NOT allowed to run another rider off-track! whether valentino literally wanted marc to crash or not, this was always going to be a possible consequence of his actions - which he would have known was the case! it is obviously worse to kick someone, partly because it just feels like a particularly egregious offence, but there is no version of this story where valentino comes out with a clean scorecard

as the 'post-honda promising to release conclusive evidence' piece goes on to say:

of course, all this is just one bloke's view. I don't think it's unreasonable to believe that valentino did kick marc. but I also struggle to see how it's a clear cut case for the prosecution. again, however, it really is important to stress that valentino by his own admission was engaging in an extremely dubious move. the kick would be the cherry on the icing, if you will, but running another rider so wide that you are probably trying to force them to leave the track is generally not considered acceptable behaviour. the kick question is very much something everyone has to decide for themselves - or not! I still think it's the ambiguity that helps make the whole thing so interesting, that every single clash between the two of them that year still has so many unanswered questions. that both sides have their own unshakeable views of events - sometimes close to 'reality' and sometimes a little less so, sometimes reasonable and sometimes anything but. it's the subjectivity and the fallibility of the human capacity to understand events that we ourselves have experienced - it's this lack of knowability for both outsiders and insiders that makes it so endlessly fascinating and rewarding to analyse. even the two men themselves cannot completely understand what happened that day, what happened in those few seconds, and they never will. we're all in the dark, in the end

[duskforged]

State of the Author: January 2024

Normally, I wouldn't do a thing like this. However, because I have not actually updated y'all on my WIPs in a while, I thought I might as well!

We'll start with the thing most of you followed me for: long-form fiction. And I call it that since all of these will be over 15k words (hopefully). There are three novels I'm currently focusing on.

LONG-FORM FICTION

Lodestar is currently stuck in a worldbuilding spiral, since it's a near-future humanity in space. While I do love sci-fi, science and math are not especially my forte. I hope to start drafting by the end of the summer, around September.

Vespertine has started on the first draft, though I'm also outlining still - something of a combined process. I am excited to share more of it with you, though it may be tough since most of it still lives in my head. Such is the woe of the artist.

Unto Summer Kings is in the first draft and currently hovering around 15k words! So far it's the longest I've gotten on a novel, and if I stay on track I could start my second draft by May, and begin beta reading by August.

LONG-FORM FANFICTION

I hesitate a little to touch on this one, just because. However, for the pure self indulgence I will. I have three major fanfics currently posted on my AO3, all of them multichaptered.

The Hanged Man is a Naruto SI!OC as Hatake Sakumo, immediately before his death. I currently have 8 chapters out and the main beats of the fic are fully outlined as of this month, which marks a major turning point in the fic's planning.

The Ever-Growing Gloaming is another self insert, this time into the events of Baldur's Gate 3. Vespere, the main character, whose name is subject to change, has been plucked from August 2023 and has not played the game since early access March 2023. Therefore they know less than you might expect.

Finally I have my Supernatural series, For Want of a Broken Nail (Broken Nail Verse). And I know what you're going to say, it's super meta to have a self insert in that fandom, you're writing SPN fanfic in 2024 what is wrong with you, etc etc. But the concept seized me full on by the balls and I already have the first 5 seasons outlined. Sorry, not sorry? No one is obligated to read it anyhow.

I also have a billion ideas on the backburner, ranging from fandoms like Game of Thrones and the MCU (for some reason) to Avatar: the Last Airbender and Star Wars. I'll post 'em when I post 'em!

ART PROJECTS

Wolf in Shepherd's Clothing is a comic of humanity's first lycanthrope, taking place in ancient Mesopotamia, in what is modern day Iran. The main character, Lahar, is gender neutral/ambiguous. So far, I'm stuck in outlining and drafting but hopefully soonTM.

Witchboy (title wip) is a story I'm working on with my partner @fallenorpheus based on various YA novels we read growing up. So far we aren't super set on the story, but it's definitely about a boy who is (accidentally) a witch, his best friend, his adoring father, and his estranged mother.

Dame-Errant (title wip) is a story that, instead of in comic form, is a story that is illustration snapshots, accompanied by short story prose. It is about a butch knight, Dame Johana Talon, who is tasked by Queen Atossa to find her missing son, Prince Khosrow. Typical 'prince(ss) in the tower shenanigans' but then, politics. And boy does Jo hate politics.

I have other webcomic ideas (mtf vs bbeg accidentally breaking a prophecy, team of bipoc/minority characters getting thrown into a fantasy world for an adventure, etc) so feel free to ask.

PERSONAL

I hesitate to touch on this, really, since it's not something that just anyone needs to know, but I've been struggling to find a good name for myself. Hesperos is a good name, but doesn't necessarily feel like 'me' these days. I do enjoy the h/e sounds... I've considered Ezra, but that's just the name of an OC and I'd rather not get quite that meta.

Ah well, sure it'll sort itself out eventually.

THE END

Anyway, thanks for reading! I know that's quite a lot for this one post to cover, but you stuck til the very end. Not sure when I'll start posting again in earnest but I hope sooner rather than later!

[tippenfunkaport]

The Other Me aka the fic idea I tried to give away but ended up writing anyway and it became my most popular fic

On December 22nd, 2022 I posted in Discord, "i had a fun idea for a fic I don't actually feel like writing myself so I am releasing it into the wild"

Then a few weeks later, I basically said, "Wait, no, nevermind. I'm taking this back." and started to write it myself. This fic idea was The Other Me, which is now my most popular fic to date and my only well read fic that doesn't have Catradora as a main focus which really surprised me.

Now that I have posted the last chapter, I wanted to show you my original thoughts and brainstorming for this idea that I tossed out chaotically on Discord that night because it's comical to me how much of my initial rough ideas ended up in the final draft.

Vague spoilers for The Other Me follow after the cut...

(I'm cutting out my friends' half of the convo and only posting what I said so assume there's back and forth here you're missing.)

talking about the concept of Glimmer maybe being able to teleport through time as well as space post canon bc the magic is so strong… well what if she accidentally teleports to an alternate universe

literally, like, one of those coffeeshop AUs everyone writes

so we've got our Glimmer in the modern normal world, a Glimmer from a modern AU in Etheria

fish out of water shenanigans and comedy… BUT here's the twist

Coffeeshop AU is a slow burn so her and Bow are not together yet…

so modern Glimmer is not only in this random magic world suddenly, she's also finding out she's married to her buddy bow, like what?? and our Glimmer is being overly familiar with a Bow who's been pining after her but assumed he had no chance

etc etc… and so eventually they trade back and AU glimbow make out and live happily ever after the end

(Someone asked if there were two Glimmer's in one dimension and I replied)

no, they trade so double the antics

and so modern AU Glimmer has to connect to the moonstone, switch them back but in the meantime, she's hanging out with a version of Bow she's married to and figuring out feelings

meanwhile our Glimmer is in the modern AU like… oooo, he doesn't know yet… and being completely unsubtle and flirting to help her modern counterpart out

I think AU Glimmer in Etheria would have to tell Bow bc she'd have no idea what is going on and I go back and forth whether I would want our Glimmer to tell AU Bow or not

it could be very funny if she was like "Bow!" and he's all "Glimmer! I'm getting dressed!" and she barges in anyway "like i haven't seen you naked" and he's like ????? you have not???

and then she's outlining all this completely off the wall magic stuff about alternate dimensions and sorcery and AU Bow is like… "can we go back to why you've seen me naked????"

"Bow… you are hung up on the wrong thing here"

she's like "And that's why I need to find some magic here in this world and teleport back to my reality!" and he's like "…so we're… married?" Glimmer, sighs, "OK, from the top, and try to FOCUS this time!"

anyway, in my head this is very funny

but I am not allowed to start any more fics

the Glimmer's switch back and then AU Bow and Glimmer are just staring at each other like "uh…" "so…" and then they make out The End

...and is that not pretty much how I wrote it? 😂

[polizwrites]

WIP Update - 24 May 2023

Another  slow-ish writing week  due to being sick. I touched 5 fics (5 WIPs  & 0 new works)  for a total of  1704 words.

On Ao3, I posted:

 Chapter One of Peresmešnik,  (aka Three Avengers and a Baby)  -- Bucky & Steve & Tony accidental baby acquisition hijinks.

Chapter Three of  Decision at Sundown  - TonyRhodey Western AU with identity porn sprinkled in.

Chapter One of  Beyond the Beast  - Stucky fantasy/supernatural AU

I  have  15 active WIPs  with my  current  deadlines being  the Stucky and Avengers Bingos events, as well as the May Adoptable & Monthly Mission for the All Caps Bingo.    Attack Plan for those events.

See  below cut for what I’m working on/planning to work on - arranged more or less by bingos/challenges/etc.  As always, feel free to send me   prompts or plot bunnies as well as asks regarding  any of these projects  or any other WIPs I’ve got out there.   Interaction really helps feed the Muse and keep me motivated!

Seek & Destroy Collab

After reading @psychiccatpanda‘s amazing   Morguna and the Green Queen, I  got the itch to explore the Soldier’s POV and talked  Faustie into   collab’ing with me!  We’re working on a new part of the series, and I’ve  contributed about 900 words towards the  2500-ish we have so far.   Going to see if I can squeeze any of my BBB squares into this fic.  

Stucky Bingo Round Four [SB_R4] (Ends 31 May 2023)

Twenty-one fills with three bingos and three WIPs with a couple of other vague ideas. Targeting completion of at least three more squares - stretch goal of a blackout.

* B1 - Mutual Pining -  Looks like the Centerfold fic idea I’ve been toying with for awhile is going back on the shelf - focusing on Chapter 3 of   Making All Things New instead, which is sitting at 1199 words - depending on time/inspiration, I may end the chapter here,  or try to wrap the fic itself up.

* O4 - AU: Supernatural -   Posted Chapter 1 of Beyond the Beast this morning -  the  Stucky fantasy AU (magician!Steve/ensorcelled!Bucky) that @bill-longbow   have been collabing on for awhile. I did a bit of tinkering with it to squish it into my BB_C4  Myth square and can also use it for for my BBB  AU: Medieval/Fantasy square Gonna count it toward this bingo’s Myths and Legends monthly prompt, too!  😁 It came in at 1642 words, about half of which were mine.   We’re still trying to figure out where to take this next.  

*Adoptable1 - Remix one of your own fics – Finally cracked this thanks to another 3 Prompts –> Summary game: Wings, Transformation, Confession.  I’m planning a Bucky POV of at least the first part of Take What Was Wrong (And Make it Right) the obvious title - Half of the Flesh and Blood That Makes Me Whole. 😁  Chapter one has been drafted - sitting at 1237 words and will post  on Friday.   Expecting at least one more chapter, possibly two, depending on how far I want to take the remix. 

Avengers Bingo Round Four [AvB_R4] (Ends 2 June)

This  time around the card is a 3x3,  so am looking at writing different   pairings for my two favorite Avengers - Tony and Steve.    I have eight fills completed and one WIP.  

* B2 - Crossover AU –  picking up my Star Wars fusion Stucky/Stuckony fic:  Never More to Go Astray.   Chapter 8 is sitting at 1106 words and will post on the 2nd - with (hopefully only) one more chapter to wrap the fic up. 

* B3 - Mistaken Identity -  Posted Chapter 3 of   Decision at Sundown  on Monday - it came in at 888 words and probably needs one more chapter to wrap up the fic. 

* C1 - Babysitter AU -  Posted Chapter one of Peresmešnik,  (aka Three Avengers and a Baby)  last Friday.  This collab with MagicaDraconia16. crosses over with my  ACB Babysitter square and involve s Steve, Bucky & Tony kidfic shenanigans.  It came in at 2248 words (my part - roughly 1400 words)  with another 500-ish already in chapter 2 (300-ish are mine).

Bucky Barnes Connect Four Alt-Juniverse Event (BB_C4)[ends 30 Jun 2023]

Signed up for this event over at @buckybarnesevents - you get a four-square card featuring ideas for AUs.  The prompts can be used as stand-alones or combined with each other or other events.   Thanks to crossovers, I finished out the card!   Once I do the paperwork, I’m hoping to grab another card before the event wraps up.

* C4 - Myth - see  SB   Supernatural AU square idea above - managed to squish the prompt in.  

All Caps Bingo [ACB_R1]  (Ends 30 Sep 2023)

I’ve got nine completed fics, five WIPs and  will be pursuing the One Fill, One Bingo  Challenge for Row 5.  

* I1 - Mutual Pining - may combine with the Stucky Bingo Mutual Pining or combine with something on my BBB card.

* G1 - Isaiah Bradley -  Planning to add more to The Fist, Defeated.   (possibly present day)

* G3 - Established Relationship -  see Stucky Bingo - Remix Own Fic

* G4 - Babysitting - see  AvB Babysitting AU above.

* O3 - Pararescue Sam Wilson - may try to squish this into an expansion of   A Rising Star -  a previous Flash Fiction Friday fill.  

* May Adoptable -   I’m going to use either   AU: Sex Worker or  Scenting  for Chapter 3 of   Making All Things New,  -- see SB Mutual Pining above.

* May Monthly Mission  - Sir, Yes, Sir is a perfect match for Chapter 2 of   Surrender (But Don’t Give Yourself Away) - my WinterIron –>Stuckony  Steve POV WIP based on the following 3 Prompts –> Summary game prompt :  Praise Kink, One Night Stand, Identity Porn. This probably final chapter is coming in at 2108 words with the plan to post it on the 29th - it crosses over with my WIB  Edging and BBB KINK: “Please let me come” squares.

Sam Wilson Bingo [SWB_R3]  (Ends 15 Oct 2023)

I have three fills and one WIP -  I need to work on cross fills between this and the All Caps and Bucky Barnes bingo!

* G3 - Joaquin Torres - see ACB Pararescue Sam Wilson above.

* O2 - Steve Rogers  – see AvB  Dog Tags  above.

WinterIron Bingo  - [WIB_R1]   (Ends 16 Dec 2023)

I have six fills completed and two WIPs for this brand-new bingo event that I’m helping mod!  Along with crossfilling against my other bingos,  I’m going to try to combine my B column squares for the Iron Soldier badge (complete a bingo with a single work). – Alpha Tony Stark, “That was not my intention.”, James Rhodes,Alpine loves Tony and Blind date.

* I1 - Edging - see ACB May Monthly Mission: Sir, Yes, Sir mentioned above.

* N1 - Bucharest –  I think I can fold this into a future chapter of My Love is Vengeance -  where a young!Tony and a recovering!Bucky have been kidnapped by Hydra, who still thinks Bucky is the Soldier.  

* G4 - AU: College Students – looking to expand Beaten to the Punch with some backstory on Bucky and Tony as science camp counselors to fit with this square - will also cross over with my WFB  Volunteering Together square. 

* O5 - Gentle – use this poem  as inspiration?

* ADOPTABLE1 - 1990′s   – picked this to prod me into picking My Love is Vengeance back up.  I do have a nice chunk of the next chapter  written (1168 words) -  and had a bit of inspiration that may allow me to wrap this up in  two more chapters beyond this one.  

Bucky Barnes Bingo  - [BBB_R5]   (Ends 10 Jan 2024)

Am still trying to match up squares to crossfill, but have two fills,  five WIPs and a couple more Vague ideas already.

* B1 - AU: Medieval/Fantasy -  see SB AU: Supernatural above.

* B4 - Shapeshifters -  a potential crossover with my SB  AU: Changed into an Animal square - but  I need  a plot bunny and it is a low priority fill at the moment.

* U2 - Clint Barton/Hawkeye -  Dredged up my year-old Winter Soldier/ young Clint WIP   You Can’t Stop It With a Gun.  Chapter 3 was already in progress and is now up to 548 words.    

* C2 - Yelena Belova –  see AvB Babysitter AU

* C4 - KINK: “Please let me come.”  See SB  Identity Porn above - Chapter 2.

* C5 - Marriage of Convenience/Pretend Couple -  next chapter of   Lady Natasha’s Consort and Lord Steve’s Companion.    Not quite sure where to take this next at the moment.  😕

* K3 - Magic -  Aro!Bucky sickfic idea?  

* Y2 - [image: IW Bucky with the good hair] Last week’s Flash Fiction Friday prompt [#FFF198 What Comes Next]   was a perfect match for an idea I’d already been playing around with to fill this square.   I banged out Getting Prepared -  an A:IW missing scene set between the time that T’Challa and Okoye come for Bucky and the moment he sees Steve again.  I will post it to Ao3 sometime in the next month or so.

* Y3 - Alpine  - see WIB Iron Soldier combo.

Warm and Fuzzy Bingo  - [WFB]   (no end date)

I got my card from  @warmandfluffybingocards back in February but really hadn’t done much with it  - however, I’m picking it back up for some crossover possibilities!

* N4 - Affectionate Teasing – I can fill this with Starting Something New , but am going to hold off on posting to Ao3 until the next Tony Stark Bingo round starts.  😁

* O5 - Volunteering Together – see WIB AU: College Students

————

On  other creative fronts:  I have a Sharky Stuffed With Character figure in progress. I have multiple commissions to work on and am prepping for a con in June  so am  pretty well booked up through early summer.

That said, if  you’re looking for one of a kind gifts for birthdays or other celebrations later in the year, check  out Stuffed With Character    over on Facebook for a full list of my designs (now over 100!).   These soft stuffed figures are  mostly Marvel and monsters, but I have some Star Wars, Star Trek, DC   and Disney figures as well. Plus I love to take custom design   requests  for any fandom!

[drdelphinecormigay]

Hey! So idk if you’re down to give writing advice but I’m going to ask and you can do it if you want to—

I’ve written nearly a whole fic only to realize the note I was intending to end it on seems pretty ooc for one of the characters. I really want to keep writing it but if I change the ending, it might seem odd or out of place given that I’ve already mostly set up for the thing to end one way. What should I do?

(Also, I tried to send this ask before but I think I accidentally closed it out before?? I’m somewhat new to tumblr, I don’t think I sent the same ask twice but I’m really sorry if I did)

(also it’s nice to see your account and work getting some attention! love that you deserve it)

okay i’m done now

Hey, I’m so so sorry for the late response, I drafted a full response to this and then somehow forgot to press post!!! I hope it’s not too late…

Of course I am! Can’t guarantee it’ll be the best advice in the world bc I’m not a professional lol but I will give it my best shot.

Ok so I had something very similar to this with TGU. I’d planned out a whole sequence of events for how the ‘reveal’ was gonna go down, but then I realised that something I was gonna have Callie do just absolutely did not fit. Like, I was writing it and it just felt so wrong. So what I did was stop writing, go back to the planning stage and re-plan that whole section. I ended up ditching a chapter and half worth of writing but it was totally worth it in the end.

If I were you, this is what I’d probably do (probably):

1. Decide whether you think it’s worth changing it. Is it really ooc? Will it ruin the story? Will YOU be unhappy with it if you leave it?

2. See if there is a way that you can mould the ending that you have into one that you’re more happy with. So like, keeping change to a minimal but making it more in character. Is there anything else that you could do that would fit the storyline you have so far?

3. If not, plan an alternative ending. Just bullet point it out. Whenever I’ve done that, I’ve known pretty quickly in my gut whether it’s something I’m happier with.

4. If it feels more right, figure out how much editing you’ll need to do. See how minimal you can keep it. Figure out how extensively it’s gonna change what you’ve already done. Is there a way you can just alter a few sections?

5. After all this, go back again and ask yourself is it worth changing it? If so, then you know what to do.

I know it’ll be a lot of work, especially if you have written so much already, but if you’re doubting it then I think it’ll be worth it in the end. I for one want my work to be something that I’m completely happy with, and I know how it feels to be unsure about something.

I hope that this is somewhat helpful. I know it’s kinda generic but I can’t really give any more specific advice as I don’t know the specifics! If you want any more advice or just someone to bounce an idea off of my DMs are always open, and I look forwards to reading it if/when you decide to post it (and if you have already then drop the link bestie!)

(Also don’t worry you didn’t send it twice, all good!)

[ohpleaselarry]

What is your process for writing these beautiful snippets and stories? Like you come up with these incredibly rare and unique story lines, how do they come up? And how do you plan them? Do you write a draft / outline? Or free ball it? And do you plan your characters personalities or follow l+h original personalities? I'm just so fascinated by your ability to write so well 😭😭😭

First of all anon I have to ask if you accidentally sent this to the wrong person bc there’s no way you’re asking me these things. 😭 second of all this answer got a bit longer than I expected so..

My writing process is very much chaos and pain, if I’m honest. The ideas come either from a dream I had or thought up randomly during a shower, there’s no other option. (I have very vivid dreams, and sometimes those dreams include L&H). I write in my notes app on my phone like an absolute knob, but it’s most convenient for my schedule, and easiest for me to work on while out and about. Can get a lot of work done on an hour train ride, you know? Other than that, I don’t really have a process, unless you count music. I listen to a classical music playlist every single time I write. It’s a must, usually.

Dunno about ‘rare and unique’, though. I rarely read other fics unless I have a lot of time and am not writing myself (which is almost never) so I don’t really know what everyone else is writing. I don’t really try to be unique with them, but if I’m bored writing it, then I delete it. If I’m bored writing it, surely it’ll be boring to read, right? Suppose that’s my standpoint there, so I try to post what I enjoy writing the most, which then becomes the most interesting plots for myself. On this topic, I’ve been trying to get into more tropes/aus/prompts than I ever have in writing previously. In my A-Z series, I usually try to come up with something I haven’t written about before, even if it’s just one little thing in the work, and if it doesn’t work out like I want it to, it’s fine cause it’s just a drabble, y’know? Trying to grow in my writing this year, even if I feel like I’ll never get paid to do it haha. I’m getting off topic, sorry love.

As for a plan/outline, I’ll be honest I sort of have neither most of the time. Unless it’s a long project (like over 80k that requires planning for continuity or chapters) I just open up a new page and start writing until I lose inspo or finish it. There’s pros and cons to this, though. I end up writing a lot, like enough that it keeps me up all night sometimes, but it can also end in too many wip’s at once. While I’m answering this message, I currently have twenty-four works in various stages of completion. Yeah, twenty-fucking-four. I’ll maybe finish three of them in this year, and will probably start five more as well. Sometimes I start a fic and bust out 20k, edited and ready to post, in less than a week. Other times I work on something the same size but for two years. It’s all over the place but I really try to have it exactly where I want it to be when I post it. Suppose I can be a bit of a perfectionist.

As for personalities, I tend to try and stick to what I know H&L to be like, though I don’t feel bad with taking liberties and changing bits for the plot. Of course, I can meet them a few times and see what’s on the surface, I can watch a thousand videos of them in interviews, I can read receipts from others who have met them who repeat the same traits I know to be true, but it’ll never compare to genuinely knowing them, you know? I do my best to keep it canon to who they are, but if I randomly feel like writing a fic where H is a emotionless murderer (see: the animals) I just do, because they’re just fics, y’know? It doesn’t matter too much unless I’m writing canon compliant, so if I’m in an au I honestly don’t think about it too much. Though I can never stray too far, usually.

We only know what they let us see, and no matter what it’ll never be everything, but there’s something beautiful in knowing that the two people you’re writing about are the ones who get to know each other in that everything sort of way. Ugh, don’t get me started on these two fucks, I could gush about how much they inspire me for hours on end.

That’s about it haha. Strange, I never really thought about these things, but I’m flattered that someone was interested enough to ask. Still can’t believe I get more than 10 hits on my works, if I’m honest, let alone a message this sweet.

Thank you so much for this ask, it made my day more than you’ll ever know.

[cinnamonest]

Misogyny/Sexism kink HCs/Fem darling HCs

This specifically is from a very long while back but, I’ve gotten a lot of similar asks over time for HCs for the kink for different characters. I started this post ages, forgot about it, and was going through my drafts and realized I never completed this one, so I went ahead and finished the unfinished ones and added newer characters too.

You ever make  something and then look at it like... huh, I really made this atrocity exist didn't I... I am responsible for these words... I will face judgement for them one day. I will answer to God for what I've created with no excuse for the sin I've wrought into the world. Neat!

This turned out to be more like gender-based HCs in general and attitudes towards fem darling but they're still awful and toxic and all those other wonderful things❤️ I made the more pleasant ones a bit shorter and the more awful they get the longer the entries get. But this all revolves around the kink in general. In case this, God forbid, somehow ends up searchable despite being untagged, and since this is probably the most sensitive kink I write for, just a reminder/warning to those that stumble onto this/aren't into it: this is entirely fiction. I don't believe or promote any of the values, beliefs, or practices mentioned here.

//misogyny (like seriously, that is the focus of this post, this is bad, you have been warned), noncon, lots of correlations between sex and physical identifiers/traits, yandere/noncon/kidnapping mentions, super toxic behaviors, mentions of cheating (from third parties/cheating fears regarding darling, not from the boys), pressuring/guilting into sex, psychological complexes for Albedo & Scara, pseudoscience, mentions of PMS/periods, victim blaming, gaslighting, manipulation, abusive tendencies, forced impreg/breeding

//also a LOT of slutshaming, since that's a core element of the kink, so be warned there's also a lot of discussion of a slut!darling with high promiscuity.

Under a cut for length (and to preserve what little sense of dignity I have left).

--------------

     Bennett, Gorou, Thoma, and Chongyun do the same thing where they're like. Over the top on making sure they're doing things the 'right way,' traditionally speaking. Like will accidentally trip you and knock stuff over bc they're in a rush to get to the door to hold it for you before you reach it. That sort of thing. Noooo don't try to pay for anything!! You're not supposed to do that!! Don't carry anything heavy, they're supposed to get it for you!! It's kinda sweet until it becomes obnoxious... like sir, I can perform basic tasks for myself please stop trying to help me.

They're the type to get mad at another guy for saying something bad and try to defend you. "All women are queens" type of boys, but so far it goes in the opposite direction and becomes almost demeaning because of the uncomfortable pedestal they put you on. Truly little white knights, bless them. They want to be respectful to the best of their ability.

-

Bennett goes heavier on the "noooo let me do that" thing. Poor adventuring partner. What CAN you do? He says he has to go into the dungeon first, it could be dangerous! No don't open the chest what if something jumps out at you? Let him fight the enemy, you just stand back, don't worry, he'll take care of it! You're just too fragile to have to do any of that stuff yourself, he could never sit back and let you do it, that would be wrong of him! What, let you make the FIRE? You could get burned! Besides, he can do it so much easier, vision and all.

This can backfire, very easily, because it's... him. No, let him carry the big heavy box, he could never just sit back and make you do that! Except that when he takes it out of your hands, he trips and breaks the entire thing. He insists on lighting the fire, only for it to start to rain in the process. He opens the chests, but they're always near-empty. But no matter how many times this continues to backfire, he will never stop insisting on doing things himself. He wants to feel useful! Is that really so bad? You'd break his heart if you ever pointed it out... like, he's aware of it nonetheless, but hearing you say it out loud forces him to come to terms with it.

 Also, keep in mind he's getting all his dating advice from his elderly dads. They're teaching him to do stuff that was normal decades ago, so expect a lot of overly-chivalrous behaviors, which he will rush to perform like his life depends on being able to hold that door for you, or give you his jackets and coats if it's cold, that sort of thing. To the point it honestly gets annoying, bless his heart, but given his sweet nature, you try to swallow the irritation at first, can't bring yourself to be mad... but that only encourages him.

 -

 Thoma in particular pedestalizes girls as a whole. He is that boy that thinks you're super capable, you can do anything a guy can do... and he feels the need to... remind you of that, all the time. You all know the type. Almost as if he wants to be recognized for being "good," wants his 'brownie points'... although realistically, he's looking for a more physical reward.

 Yes, that being said... our boy is down bad, he desperately needs his balls drained and will shamelessly try to obtain it. Thus, he also tends to have the sort of "being nice -> pussy" mentality, where he feels like if he just does enough nice things, eventually he'll get to put his dick in you. So much so that he goes overboard, makes you uncomfortable with the sheer number of gifts and acts of service being given to/done for you. The more desperate he gets, the more he lays on the "niceness," but it becomes very obvious very quickly exactly what he's so nice for. Not that he's consciously thinking so, he really, genuinely does also just naturally want to make you happy, but it would be a lie to say there isn't a significant portion of his brain being controlled directly by his dick. But he does everything with respect! He breaks into your room (respectfully), spies on you changing or showering (respectfully), takes every opportunity to let you go in front of him up stairs out of chivalry and respect, and may just take the opportunity to get a glance upward if you're wearing a skirt/dress (respectfully), drugs your drinks and food so you pass out and he can finally put his dick in you (respectfully!)... you get the idea.

 So yes, he's one of those guys that takes pride in being good. Granted, he's still a very humble person overall, but sometimes he seems to be a little too eager to remind you how much he respects you and is super chivalrous to you... like, almost as if he's not-so-subtly begging for something in return, which doesn't take a genius to figure out what that might be. I mean, in his mind, he's followed all the right steps, this is totally the part where you practically leap into his bed right?? If not, he keeps trying for a while... over and over. But to be honest, if it goes on long enough, he can get frustrated. Like, not that you don't totally have autonomy and all that, no, he'd never be entitled or anything like that! It's just that... since he's done so many nice things for you, it does kinda logically follow that he deserves something for it, don't you think? Not that he's saying you have to do anything for him! No, no, it's not like that at all. You don't have to do anything... it would just be really nice, you know, since he has done so much for you... no pressure.

 -

 To be fair, yin energy is associated with femininity, so, perhaps Chongyun reasons that in order to offset his yang energy issues, he needs a constant supply of it... logical thought process says he needs a sweet girl to have attached at the hip, to carry around like a good luck charm! So uh... he respects the independent girls and all, but maybe you, specifically, would be really well suited to a wifey life of doing nothing but being his and staying by his side all the time. You can help him with small tasks in his work, and calming him down when he gets too overwhelmed and hot! That's, um... empowering. Yeah, he also tends to take the route of "all girls should be free and empowered but here is my 1000-slide presentation on why darling is the exception--" you get the idea.

 Chongyun also white knights. So badly. It's embarrassing. He will unhesitatingly rush to your defense the moment another guy says something that could vaguely be interpreted as mean because he has to. He can't just let someone get away with disrespect! ...Even if you're practically begging him to leave it alone. He has to defend you, after all, not doing so would... well, it would look kinda pathetic, he can't have that. This is also true if darling is a stranger. Like, he white knights in general, because he's not about to let anyone be mean to girls on his watch!! He will definitely walk right up to some guy with an irritated glare to ask what they're doing to you, ask you if you're okay, fight them off if need be. It's only the right thing to do, he thinks.

 And finally, the whole yin energy thing... well, it has to be transferred to his body somehow. And he's been told the best way is intercourse. So, really, it is a very dire matter when he needs to bend you over the nearest surface, or push you up against a tree or the like. He respects you a lot and all that, but, uh, this is a very serious situation, you see, so maybe you can sacrifice that free will just this once for the greater good.

 -

 As for Gorou... well, he tries, but the issue is that sometimes biology takes over. Like, yes, he respects your right to your autonomy and freedom however-- it's... just that you told him you're not ready for it yet, but you see, he really really wants to breed you... so there is a conflict of interest here. Not that he doesn't respect you! But it's just that... he really wants it. So he may have to kinda set the respect to the side just long enough to shove his knot in you, then he'll go right back to being very respectful, promise, so it all works out right? He'll even apologize the whole time he's pounding his hips into you, that's how much he respects you.

 And he will help you take care of them, of course. But, uh, it may be something of a permanent occupation. He would never think that you're not good for anything else, of course, it's just that once you've recovered, he's definitely ready to stuff you again... and again... and due to his naturally very high doggie fertility, it usually only takes one try before he gets results. He thinks you'll be really good at the whole incubator-breeder thing. Not that you aren't a great fighter and all that too! But, well, technically since you have the parts, it's not too upsetting to say you were built for it, right?

 Likewise, he can't help but be defensive, protective. Not that he thinks you can't do it yourself! No, never, he just... gets really upset all of a sudden when other men talk to you. He doesn't really think about it, his ears just flatten to the side of his head and he growls out of instinct. Trust him, he's embarrassed by it himself, he just can't even think straight when that happens. He has to protect you, you know, you're his, so... oh, no, not... not like he thinks of you as property or anything! He just thinks of you as something that is just for him and no one else and that he has more of a claim to you than others, which is totally different.

  -----

Venti's issue is not really his attitudes or opinions or anything, he doesn't really have any that are too bad, and more his behaviors and the fact that every little thing he does to darling more or less all revolves around him being perpetually and insatiably horny.

 He has lots of respect for you as a female and your autonomy and all that... or so he says... but his actions tend to not quite line up with that because he's a nasty little perv with no regard for privacy or decency. He honestly thinks he's very respectful, if you were to ask him, because he doesn't realize that his habits of groping and voyeurism are in any way bad.

 Venti would be like one of those guys all for fair treatment and rights and all because they know that sexual liberation means they'll get laid more often, but still keep some sexist attitudes when it benefits them. Sexual autonomy significantly increases his chance of darling sleeping with him, does it not? In that case, well, it is the City of freedom! Honestly, that's probably part of the origin of the whole city of freedom thing, he probably decided Mondstadt should be a place where people are free to sleep with whomever whenever. ...Well, unless it's darling of course, darling should only be sleeping with him, darling just has the freedom to do so whenever she wants. Come on now, all rules (or lack thereof) have exceptions.

 But unlike the former four, don't except any shame or respect in terms of opportunities. He's shameless, and will take every chance he gets to get an eyeful, handful, or faceful of you. He already is a little perv and menace even before darling enters his life. Flipping up skirts with wind powers, spying on the nuns through the cathedral windows when they bathe or get dressed, copping a feel when he "trips" right into some tits. Unfortunately, once darling comes along into his life, he redirects all that perversion that was once spread across the entire female population of Mondstadt, onto one person.

 It's important to note that he uses his cute, somewhat effeminate appearances to get out of any real consequences -- over time, he's learned he can get away with it like that, so he has no shame and no hesitancy. He's not like those gross guys (who are, you know, tall, bearded, gruff-looking, everything he's not) in bars that grope and say gross things and get rightfully slapped or have drinks thrown at them, no, he can just flash a sweet smile and he's used to being forgiven for anything. He's not a big or intimidating guy, so most women he's ever interacted with or bumped into just roll their eyes or even find his behaviors a bit cute, ruffle his hair a bit and leave him alone. Should darling actually get mad about it, he can just get watery-eyed and let his head fall a bit... sorry... He didn't mean anything bad... you'll forgive him right...?

 That being said, it backfires against him. He enjoys using his youthful appearance to get his out of the consequences of his actions, but is taken aback when you consequently actually try to treat him like a teen boy or something. You should know he's way older than that, why are you talking to him like he's a kid, talking down to him as if he's stupid or naive? Or, gods forbid, you hit him with the 'you're like a little brother to me!' line, that would basically gut his heart out of his body. It starts to give him a bit of a masculinity crisis. Do you not take him seriously because he's short and slender? Do you not see him as A Man™?? Does he need to be taller? More muscular? It starts to get to his head. He has to try to make up for it. He'll start trying to be more impressive, trying to perform feats of strength and/or competency and make sure darling is watching.

 If all else fails, he can spring the revelation he's been planning for a while on you. After all, you'll totally respect him and fall for him if he has power, right? He's seen a lot of women that go for men with a lot of power. So revealing his archon status is a good step towards that. You probably wanna worship him now, right?? He will gladly accept, in fact, he has several highly suggested forms of worship that would be especially appreciated, if you'll hear him out...

 But in general, he can and will get very very pushy if he's still not reaching the goal. Oh, you're waiting for the right person or marriage or something? Something about purity or chastity? Well, you know, if it's with a god, it basically cancels out and makes you extra pure. You're worried about judgement? Don't worry, he'll never judge you (as long as the person you're sleeping with is him and not someone else, of course, in which case maybe you should just be judged for your taste in guys). He just pushes and pushes and talks his way out of every excuse you can give. He will stop at absolutely nothing, will go to any lengths, just to bust a nut in you. Please. What more do you want?

 In the end, he actually has very little respect for your autonomy and will, if it's what he doesn't like. His respect is a bit performative, and only lasts as long as he's under the impression that he's getting closer to his goal. Then he starts to test boundaries. You say you don't like touches, but certainly if he just keeps doing it, you'll get used to it. And again, he can always get out of your anger by putting on a cute face, no? That's the issue with that whole thing -- he's so used to it that he uses it as a default excuse to do bad things in the first place, the security of having that to fall back on makes him much more bold and willing to violate little boundaries until he can work his way in.

 Also, that whole "City of Freedom" thing backfires likewise if he realizes darling has been... taking advantage of that. Mondstadt's favorite bar maid or nun or whatever you are has a favorite pastime, and it's sleeping around? The horror. He's... conflicted... this is technically what he envisioned for this city, a place people could do whatever they wanted, but... but...!!! Darling's choices are bad for her, right? Maybe he can uh... appear to one of the nuns in a "vision" (think like he did with Stanley), pass on the divine message that they've had it wrong this whole time and promiscuity is actually like super duper bad. You can only sleep around as uh, acts of charity... for people in freelance occupations, such as bards, for example.

 ------

 Razor also has the best intentions, but it's... less wholesome than some of the ones above. It's just... he sees everything very naturalistically, very black and white. Definitely thinks of things in terms of "nature" being right because it's all he knows, so... Strength is the be-all-end-all determiner of position in his world. That's why pack leaders and the like exist, they fight for it. Why would you think you two are the same? You're clearly weaker. Your protests don't make sense. Do you not know? Here, he'll show you, see, he can pick you up and pin you down and you can't do either of those things to him because you're weak. Very weak! (He has been working on use of simple adverbs like that, please be proud of him...). So, now you understand why you're supposed to do what he wants right? What? What do you mean that doesn't matter? What else would you base these things on?? What are these "rights" and "free will" you keep going on about, and... "au-to-no-mee...?" You're just confusing him now.

 In all seriousness, with most gender-related things altogether, he just has absolutely no idea what you're talking about. This is especially true the more complex you're getting. He understands... that females are weak, and males are strong. That's... about the limit of his understanding. Anything beyond that is just met with a blank stare. He has no concept of things like autonomy, stereotypes, prejudices, anything of the sort. The only "right" he's familiar with is the opposite of "left" (and he gets which word is which direction confused sometimes). Nothing socially complex. Which, if you ask him, he knows all he needs to know. It sounds like these words you keep using are just things that only apply to humans that live with other humans in big cities and stuff, so it's pointless to talk about it when you live out here with him.

 This makes him somewhat frustrating to deal with, because he literally cannot be reasoned with. With our other boys, even if they staunchly disagree with you, see you as inferior, etc, you can still argue with them about it, still have back-and-forth dialogue, they still understand what you mean when you argue that you have the right to be free and do what you want, or when you accuse them of being prejudiced, even if they dismiss the idea. There's a catharsis in merely arguing and at least being heard, knowing the other person understands the meaning of your words. But that's not the case with Razor. You cannot have a discussion when he doesn't understand the very concepts in the first place, and this makes conversation on the matter impossible. Something about being trapped with someone on whom logic is lost, where your very valid points fall on deaf ears, is infuriating, as you quickly discover. It's like talking to a brick wall, except the brick wall may actually have him beat by a few IQ points.

 So, while he doesn't understand any of that stuff you go on about, he has another pressing concern, much more important than whatever you're talking about. You must have lots of puppies, and every second you spend not knocked up is wasted time in that regard. That's like the whole purpose of your life, right? That's the purpose of all life, to be fair, he thinks, either making puppies or having them, and he can get all the food you need and bring it back, and protect you from enemies! You just have to take care of the puppies. This is a good setup. It works for the wolves, after all.

 But back to general issues, or lack thereof, he doesn't really understand the concept of sexes to begin with outside of very obvious physical traits (he can distinguish a little bit, but only general traits that are not always accurate -- taller versus shorter, high voice and low voice, curved and not curved, and that's about it), and his vague, very limited understanding of social norms, so on the bright side you'll actually be free from some of the cultural expectations of women. He doesn't really care if you curse a lot or what kind of language/speech you use (as long as he can understand it, no big confusing words please), you won't be held to any standards of appearances, nor of "appropriateness" or "ladylikeness." It's a breath of fresh air compared to some of the others in that regard.

 He's just a little taken aback and confused when you don't want to cooperate with him, or more importantly, mate with him. He's never seen anything different... the males go hunt food and defend the pack from enemies, and the females mate with them and have the pups and nurse them and... that's how things go. He's just very confused by it all. Unfortunately, he has pretty limited patience and no real desire to understand, so ultimately he just gets frustrated and will force whatever he wants.

 Whenever you're still in the non-kidnapped stage, you really get a taste of that mating competition thing someone once told you about wolves. Again, he knows no better, he has no reason to think the humans operate any differently than what he's used to. Our boy is unnecessarily and instantly aggressive towards other men, glaring and even audibly growling just over the offense of them coming up to speak to you. It's rather embarrassing, really, since it's so obvious what he's trying to do and why. He stands super close to you, tries to physically stand in between you and other men. They keep coming up to you, no matter how many times he rubs your faces together and licks you to get his scent on you! Normally that is a clear warning sign between wolves that you're taken, but it seems the humans ignore it entirely, and it leaves him feeling uncertain of what else he can do... so he just becomes more protective and vigilant. God forbid another man were to touch you, because he takes that as a direct challenge, trying to steal you. Well, if they want to steal you away, they have to fight to the death first, which he's very willing to do at a moment's notice, not even the slightest hesitation.

 Finally, he also has no concept of chastity or promiscuity and won't ever think to ask if you've had other partners before, as wolves mate for life... but still, it's wise not to mention if you have. It... makes him feel something bad that he doesn't like. A bad feeling in his chest and stomach. He doesn't like thinking about it. He didn't even get to fight them! Is that why you're so difficult? Maybe he just needs to fight that other guy and kill him, then you'd like him a lot more once you know he's stronger... maybe that is the issue, that's why you're not being a very good mate, because he hasn't proven he's the strongest yet. Well, if you tell him where they live, he can bring the body back to you so you can see... but for some reason, you refuse to tell him.

 Also, thankfully, he doesn't use intellect against you, like some people might claim to be inherently smarter than you and thereby superior. He doesn't factor intelligence into his way of thinking at all, for, ah, obvious reasons.

  ------

I already mentioned Xingqiu being a sexist rich boy before (here) but like. Ugh. He is the most entitled little brat sometimes, underneath his generally pleasant demeanor -- it's more like he maintains that general niceness up until he stops getting his way.

 He feels like he can just buy you over because... girls like pretty things right? He sees it as a formula, you buy a certain amount of shiny, pretty materialistic things, keep giving them as gifts, and boom, you have a wife. What, what do you mean girls are each unique human beings with discernment and individual tastes?? They care about things other than just money and buying stuff? Well, then it becomes passive-aggressive commentary (read: not-so-subtle whining) about you being "complicated," why is there no easy formula to follow to win you over? After all, he has a very simple way to win him over, just be nice and obedient and worship him. How unfair.

 He's definitely used to a home environment where his mom was kinda a trophy wife, she's super submissive and obedient and does whatever his dad wants, and he expects the same from his cute little wife too. And of course, his mom always dresses very revealingly and sits in father's lap whenever he's meeting with business partners like a cute trophy to show off... and again, he expects the same. He's got this image in his head of how things will go, a sort of fantasy he's too naive to realize might not go as smoothly as he thinks, so he's genuinely baffled when you start off resistant. How unexpected. Maybe you just need to get used to being here? Maybe you're hormonal? Maybe he did something to make you mad and he needs to buy you something or do something to get you to settle down? Who knows what the issue could be.

 After all, he truly believes that the state of the women he's used to seeing -- submissive, quiet eye-candy wives that are extremely docile, agreeable, and happy all the time -- is the default state of girls. That's what they're naturally like, anything else is a disruption of their normal state that can be remedied. He is entirely unaware of, and has never considered, the possibility that maybe, just maybe, those women are sacrificing the freedom to speak their mind and behave the way they want in order to have a super rich husband... it really has never occurred to him.

 And if you tell him such, that you have your own thoughts and desires that don't revolve around what he wants, that the women he's used to seeing are only behaving the way they do for the benefits of their marriages, it leaves him somewhat shocked. Because, well, that does make sense, but it's just something incomprehensible. He reaches his own conclusion... perhaps, just maybe, he might be willing to accept that women are unique individual human beings, and not a monolith, as he previously believed. This is a big transition in his way of thinking, he'll have you know. In which case, you're still wrong about them -- that's how they are, all docile and sweet, you're just different. However, it does stand to reason, that you can be converted into being more like them. People are subject to change. So really, you end up back where you started, with him believing you just have to be won over with some set of actions that will eventually cause you to become the ideal he wants.

 He perpetuates the sort of system you're subjected to by participating in it -- his family more or less buys you by persuading your own family to give you over for a massive sum. Regardless of your background, the brat practically begged his father into securing you for him, which, if you weren't of an equally wealthy family, was quite the struggle to convince him, so hey, he's already put a lot of effort in you know? To be honest, the thought of you refusing doesn't really cross his mind... that's not how these things work. Even if you do, of course, getting your family to write such, his father just shields him from finding out about that rejection, and instead sends a second offer to your family... with a new, higher sum they can't bring themselves to refuse.

 And from the moment he... obtains you, he wants to show you off like a trophy, following that same example of what he's seen the men in wealthy social circles do, what he's observed his whole life. In the world of the elite, when you have something that makes other people envy you, when you have something shiny and new and want people to be jealous of it, you put it on display. Besides, it's sort of a masculinity thing with those types as well, the need to have a female on display as if to show off that look, this is mine. So he does -- puts you in clothes that make you uncomfortable, drags you everywhere with a firm grip and a smile, gets you to sit pressed up against him or on his lap when he meets with others. Also, rich people fancy clothing is heavy and uncomfortable, ugh. You never realized until now how many layers and unnecessary little pieces there are to this stuff.

 And what's much, much worse, is that you will be held to certain standards among his culture and class. He sneakily elbows you in the side when he introduces you to his friends as a quick reminder, because you were looking them in the eye when you're supposed to look at the ground when you speak to men who aren't him, taps your foot with his under the table when you make the mistake of forgetting that even when someone asks you a question, you're supposed to let him answer the question for you, unless he indicates otherwise. It's ok, he can excuse it the first time or two, you're just... getting adjusted. You didn't mean to do it. Just don't do it again.

 Honestly he doesn't outright tell you from the beginning that he expects obedience and compliance -- again, in his mind it's such a given, so ingrained as normal that he doesn't even think about it, and your defiance comes as a shock because he's never even really thought about such a thing. As soon as you're settled into forcibly married life, the first few days he just gives commands without thinking much of it... and is taken aback when you say no. He's not even certain that word is supposed to be in your vocabulary... It shatters the whole illusion of the submissive obedient wife thing. That's no good. But, ah, his father prepared him for moments like this. He just has to give you some money or a gift and an empty apology and then you'll be happy again. No? Ugh, you're being complicated again...

 He attributes it to a class or culture thing, if you're not from Liyue or simply not as wealthy. It's not your fault, you just came from... a less dignified background. Just give it time. Time and effort and reprimanding when necessary, but he trusts that you'll change and become the ideal wife in his head with time. And then, you'll stop bringing up all the dumb stuff you keep complaining about, like saying he's prejudiced or entitled, how you're in control of your body, blah blah... until then, it just goes in one ear and out the other.

 -----

 You'd think Kazuha would be one of the mildest offenders, yeah? Well, you'd be wrong.

 First of all, he's very, very unrealistic when it comes to projections of you in his head. When he imagines what you'll be like once you're with him, it's very idealistic and appeals to virtually every horny young boy's most eyeroll-worthy fantasies... but unlike most guys, he fails to realize how inaccurate to reality his fantasies are. He envisions this perfect "you" that never disagrees with anything he says, will do anything he asks, is always in a good mood, always affectionate, always horny, eager to go at it at a moment's notice. Always sweet and never mean. You'll hate every other guy that exists and only love him. He's quite disappointed to find out you're, you know, just like a guy, with varying emotions and moods depending on the timing and context. But that's okay. He still loves you. Even if he is disappointed.

 Then there's the actual negative things. The thing is... he doesn't realize it's bad. He's worse than Bennett/Chongyun/Thoma/Venti in terms of the actual things he thinks and does and says, but unlike some of the boys higher up on this list, he... doesn't even realize it might be offensive, the notion doesn't really cross his mind, it's so ingrained. He doesn't say anything in a degrading or authoritative tone. He says everything with that same soft smile and gentle voice as always, which makes the words themselves take a moment to process, and come as that much more of a shock, you question if you heard him wrong.

 If you're out wandering the land with him, camping out at night, he tells you not to worry, he can take care of the important stuff, and you can do the girl jobs, he adds with that same soft smile, pointing over to the fire and food you brought with you. You find yourself blinking, not sure if you heard him right... surely he doesn't seem like the type to actually think that way.

 And then, you start to think he thinks of you as fragile. He intervenes once, when you encounter very simple monsters on the road. No, no fighting for you... let him do that. It's mocking, really, even though he doesn't intend it that way -- he just can't help but sort of chuckle, you were actually about to draw a sword on those monsters, weren't you? That's so cute, you were actually going to try and fight them. Well, good thing he was here. You really make him worry about you, he hopes you don't actually think you could take anything on by yourself, do you...?

 And even after that, a few days later, you ask him why he can't trust you to at least go get the two of you supplies at least once... he tilts his head. Well, that's obvious, you'd go running off with someone else, as soon as you were presented with the option. It's okay, he knows you just can't control yourself, it's not your fault, it's just how you're... hardwired. Once again, said in that same soft, gentle voice he always has, as if he's talking about anything else, gives you a pat on the head as he speaks, not even noticing you staring at him in bewilderment. He says the things he says so sweetly, you have to take a moment to process before you realize how awful the words themselves actually were.

 When you get mad at him once, for a very valid reason, you quickly realize he has no intention of taking your anger seriously. He just smiles. Getting so upset over nothing... ah, are you hormonal today? Is it a cycle related thing? That explains it. Not for so much as a second does he seem to consider that maybe he was in the wrong and you have a reason to be mad. Your emotions and anger must automatically be due to something that invalidates your feelings, and is something he can tease and even belittle you for, in that soft way of his. This aspect is really bad, because you'll notice it repeats over and over, he never views your anger as valid. It's just hormones, a tantrum, or, as he once says when you get mad over something, just how you all are, getting upset over such little things... you don't bother to ask him what he means by that.

 When you finally snap at him about that specifically, he reacts with surprise. Why are you upset? It's not bad. What's that... You think he treats you like you're some kind of lesser?

 Well of course he does... with that same soft, precious little smile, and the slightest chuckle of amusement, he adds... because you are.

 You get another pat on the head as he speaks. It's not a bad thing. He's not sure why you're so upset about it. Everything has its place in nature, in the world, you're no different. There's no reason to get upset over it. He takes good care of you, and loves you a lot, so there's no need for you to worry about something so trivial. He doesn't even consider that you might find it derogatory or upsetting. It's just how things are. He thought everyone knew that? Why would that upset you? Besides, it's not like it causes you harm, it makes things easier for you if anything. You don't have to worry about the mentally taxing burden of making decisions for yourself. You can just leave that to him. He doesn't really get why this seems to make you upset, but if you're worried it'll make him treat you poorly, don't. He would never do that, so don't worry about it.

 It leaves you slack-jawed and somewhat shocked, but at first, you decide you have enough problems already, you can ignore him for now, as annoying as his attitude is. It becomes... increasingly difficult, once his thoughts start affecting expectations on you. You have been pretty docile and compliant thus far, realizing the position you were in and trying to earn your captor's trust, but that becomes more difficult with time. You start not wanting to follow the commands you're given (given so sweetly and with such a soft smile so that you actually didn't realize the wording was phrased more as a command and not a request until you stop to think about it...). You start becoming defiant.

 Oh... he feels some guilt. That's definitely his fault. He wasn't firm enough with you. Things... work best when everything performs its role correctly, you know? Couples also have roles, he thinks. Yours is to make him happy, be good, and take care of his needs, and his is to make sure you're safe and keep you in line, that's what he was always taught at least. So, really, if you fail at your job, it means he wasn't doing his right. So he'll have to be firmer with you, even though firmness is not his strong suit. He lets a lot of things slide, you know, you should probably be punished every now and then, for your own good. You may not understand it at the time, but it's for your benefit.

 Kazuha is also quietly a bit... critical (read: judgemental and insecure) of your, ah, choices. In a nice way! It's just... You know, when he met you, admittedly part of the reason he noticed you was because what you were wearing at the moment was... eye-catching. And you, ah, really made an active choice to dress that way didn't you? Which was actually a good thing, since it caught his eye and all, but still, other people are going to see you, too. You really should have thought more before you were going outside like that. It worries him to think that you are so naive that you thought that that was safe to wear...�� but no worries, he can choose clothes for you from now on, whenever you're going into a public area, make sure you're not going to draw too many eyes.

 And if the opposite issue, that what you were wearing wasn't feminine enough, he wouldn't force you into femininity standards... He just encourages them. No, he has no idea what happened to your shirt and pants you were wearing for the outdoors, the cloth in the fire is just some old rags he tossed in overnight... But look, he already got you replacement clothes. These are the superior option anyway, skirts provide a better view when he's behind or below you and easier access -- er, easier for you to maneuver in.

 Similarly, behavioral standards are just there to keep you safe, and he can be lenient on many of them, he's not going to reprimand you just because you sit or carry yourself or talk a certain way, that's all fine. He'll still question some things, though, when it comes to interactions... because he has a certain paranoia.

 Which brings us to one more thing. Kazuha has been... influenced... by the sailors back when he was with the Crux fleet, on a very specific paranoia. Sailors are not known for being the most reserved and clean in regards to conversational topics. A bunch of older, often middle-aged men gathered around on the ship late at night, telling their tales of woe from their younger days or even their current frustrations -- and being sailors, who are gone on long voyages away from home, a lot of them have had some encounter with infidelity in their lives. They sigh and they grumble and at some point one of them turns to him, the poor misfit in the conversation that he is, and tells him to be smarter than they were and always watch his woman, because all of them deep down are whores. If he ever gets one, they tell him, gotta keep a proverbial leash on her, or she won't be yours for long.

Poor thing at the time just sort of gives a wide-eyed stare and awkwardly nods, but it eats away at him. Well, who would dismiss the advice of their elders? Once you come along, he takes it to heart. A little too much. He was already a rather possessive person by nature, but by the time darling comes along he's got a deep cheating paranoia. Unfortunately, he ends up going back to said crew members, after encountering them once again, for more advice, who end up only making it worse and filling his head with even more ideas. That it's in their nature. To go out and breed, get pregnant from the strongest mate they can find. Poor things just can't control themselves, so they told him, it's pitiful for their sake really. (Never mind the fact that boys will practically throw themselves off a cliff if it means they stand a chance of getting laid... that's different.)

 And the paranoia does certainly show itself. He gets uncharacteristically upset by you talking to other men, and in general becomes way too aggressive towards any other male. He's fairly quiet on the outside, merely a stern sort of pout on his face, but internally he's having horrible thoughts -- you probably want to have sex with them, too. If he wasn't here, maybe if he'd let you go run this errand or meet this other guy by yourself instead of coming with you, you'd be fucking him right now. He clenches his fist and grinds his teeth whenever you smile or laugh at the other guy. You're probably thinking about fucking him aren't you? The thought of it being, you know, a normal friendly human interaction... it doesn't even cross his mind. No, you definitely would if you could, this is proof those guys were right about what they told him. He becomes fairly hostile towards others, often giving them passive aggressive smiles as he stands behind you that are still very clearly interpreted as telling them to back off. He tries to hold it in, but at some point inevitably end up blurting out the question of do you like them more than me?  You don't think about anyone else when you're doing stuff with him, right? You should stop speaking to them. And don't speak to other women either. They'll just encourage you to cheat and justify it. Stop being around anyone else altogether. You don't need to talk to anyone, he can do all that for you.

 There's one more issue to be addressed, regarding that, which he'll get out of the way early on to know how paranoid he needs to be. Out of pure curiosity... What's your history like? Don't worry, you're not going to upset him. He understands that people make mistakes. Your mistakes just happen to be sleeping with anyone who wasn't him. He can forgive you. He just needs to know, so he can have a better gauge of just how much he needs to worry. ...Why does that seem to upset you? It's common knowledge, he thought, that the higher your body count, the more likely you are to... have challenges staying loyal. He's just trying to help you with that, that's all. You're getting so upset now, saying mean things about him that he's some kind of bad person for judging you based on that... see, there you go with getting upset over nothing again. But don't worry, it's cute, in a way.

-----

 Xiao is sort of a unique case, mostly because he's a bit too disconnected to fully understand these things to begin with. Human women are some sort of foreign, alien species to him. But, rather hilariously, his primary feeling towards women is that he's... intimidated.

 In his defense, your kind are terrifying. Unfortunately, due to his lack of interaction, he has to go on the words of wisdom (read: random laborers' and drunk inn-goers' ramblings) of human men to learn what women are like. In other words, he gets all of his information secondhand and firmly believes that, thanks to his listening in on conversations, he has received a thorough education on them and their ways, takes whatever they say as the truth. This... Does not spell good things for a darling.

 From what he understands, there's all these special rules and guidelines you're supposed to follow when interacting with them... it's said that they speak cryptically, they say things where you're supposed to infer what they mean, because they don't say what they actually mean, you have to sort their words out like some sort of horrible, emotionally sadistic puzzle. Sometimes they will say they are fine, but they are not actually fine, they're upset, and then will get mad if one cannot decipher this. Worst of all, apparently they sometimes say something is fine to do, they will tell you it's fine, go ahead, do whatever you want, but then if you actually do it, they'll become angry. Sometimes they get very quiet and only answer questions with cold, short replies; this means they are upset, but for some incomprehensible reason, they do not want to tell the male why they are upset and he must figure it out himself. 

It sounds horrible. What is the reason for this behavior? He's not sure. Even the human men lament over their inability to understand women, he's heard them call the women "confusing," or "impossible to please," and if the human men feel that way, that means he doesn't stand a chance. Thus, his primary feelings towards a female human darling are just confusion and intimidation.

 But furthermore, he decides to do some preemptive observations by watching women that come through the inn as if he's taking notes on a wild species, but... That doesn't help much at all. He watches this one couple eating at the inn... everything seems to be going fine, and suddenly, the male seems to say or do one wrong thing, and the female snaps at him, becoming angry and yelling and lashing out, throws a drink at him, slaps him in the face, and storms off. He watches with wide eyes, recoiling from his perch somewhere up on the inn. The female wrath is horrifying. If you did that to him... it would hurt his feelings a lot... he can't have that. He's not even sure what the man did wrong, and from the looks of it, the man himself doesn't know what he did wrong either. Are the human women truly this volatile? It's even worse than he thought. He'd rather face a hundred monsters at once than be on the receiving end of that. Nothing is more frightening.

 It gets worse once he actually has you all captured and away from the world. Due to the fact that, in his pessimism, he tends to assume the worst of darling, constantly thinks that you do everything on purpose and are always trying to trick him -- well now, in addition to that he just pushes everything he doesn't understand, like, or want to deal with, onto the excuse of you being female. Again, he gets his ideas from what he's overheard... except, well, he gets a lot of bits and pieces of information and sort of puts them together himself, filling in the gaps based on what he comes up with that makes sense to him, and as you can imagine, this is not good. 

You are complaining about not having seen sunlight in several months, or crying over being tied up all the time? Hmph, that's just your hormones making you all emotional. ...Well, he's not entirely sure what hormones are... some incurable disease that affects only the female humans, makes them get upset all the time for no reason. They make you upset irrationally, so that must be the explanation for every time you are upset about anything he doesn't think you should be upset about.

 No, you can't go outside. He heard a bunch of drunk guys at the inn talking about their woes as they tend to do, several were talking about ex wives or ex girlfriends and claimed that human women will run off with another man the first opportunity they get, because they're never happy and content and always want to have more. Especially if they are mad or bitter (which he has reason to believe you are, since you complain about being here), they do it just to get revenge on the man, how awful. They're also insatiable, apparently, such was the term that was used. They have to have sex all the time, that's what gets their defiance and meanness out... probably by removing those bad hormones. Sort of like how exorcism rituals remove demons, or such is the comparison he thinks makes sense. So if you don't do it all the time, the disease will get worse and worse, you have to expel it with sex. Thankfully, he can provide that, so you won't need to get it elsewhere anyway. But logically, then, you should understand why he can't take you outside, it's a horrible idea.

 He has learned some tips, though. If they are defiant, once again, you just have to fuck them really hard, and then they'll go back to being obedient. A very helpful tip. When they are upset, you can make them happy again, and get them to stop being mean, by giving them gifts that they enjoy being recipients of, such as large amounts of flowers and things made out of gold and things that taste sweet. If you are ever mean to him, expect to wake up to a gigantic pile of qingxin by your bed (he did not think to remove all the dirt from the stems though...) that he spent several hours plucking off various mountaintops. Speaking of happiness, he's been alive a long time, he can remember a time when the human wives were all a lot more controlled, they were very obedient and docile, and stayed in their homes a lot. They seemed perfectly happy. Maybe you should try being more obedient, and you'd be happier. It would be a lot nicer for him too, he thinks, so it would be a win-win.

 On the bright side, although he has more of a cemented concept of what is considered standards of femininity than Razor, that sort of thing doesn't matter in terms of outward standards. He could care less about your posture or way of speaking or the way you dress, the length of your hair, the vulgarity of your language, things like that. He is (sometimes) aware of them, but doesn't care if you meet the ones like that, that are related to appearances and socially constructed concepts. It doesn't matter if you have short hair, boyish clothing (you won't need clothes with him anyway), speech filled with profanity or vulgarity, unfeminine posture or stance, etc. None of that matters. What matters is that you're nice. None of that scary human female stuff where they get all angry and yell... be sweet and happy all the time, and don't get upset over things, like he likes. And do all the things he tells you to. That's all. Oh, and don't fight the sex... it makes no sense for you to do that, since not only is it important to cure your issues, but also, that's your purpose in the first place.

 What? Degrading...? Why would you think that? See, the whole idea that being made for sex and babies is dehumanizing is kinda socially constructed in and of itself, so to him, he doesn't see why you would find such a thing offending. For him, it's just... obvious. Things are designed for the function for which they were created. Like how a cup is made to hold water. A lock is made to keep something closed off. Their very purpose is obvious through their characteristics. Why are living beings any different? Like how he is strong and has certain abilities, he's made to fight and protect you. 

You, weak as you are, clearly are not. But, you have these warm wet holes, they fit so snugly around his dick and squeeze it really nicely... and it fits inside perfectly, so it makes sense that it was intended for this purpose. You have hips, clearly designed on each side to be grabbed, your body has these curved parts that make it easier to hold onto. This seems like the obvious purpose. Your face and voice are nice to see and hear, and there is realistically no other purpose for such than just that. You are warm, this is pleasant. You have soft thighs and even softer tits, what other purpose could these things possibly have, if not for him to rest his head on? And when you consider the obvious purposes of your various parts, and that you as an entity are composed of said parts, your purpose as a whole being is clear -- your purpose is to be utilized. Why does it make you so upset for that to be acknowledged?

 Besides, you're irrational right? And if it's irrational, there's no point in even trying to understand it, to listen to you and process what you say. There's no point in hearing you out. He has heard it said that the women lie all the time for no reason. Well, you can't deceive him if he simply chooses not to entertain your claims in the first place.

 And you are very weak. Like... how the humans have some pets that are small and weak and cute, their sole purpose is to provide the owner with affection. Or fragile vases and decorative antiques, but they are very fragile and easily broken, so they must be preserved. You're like that. You have to be taken care of, protected. But it's not degrading, no. No matter how much you explain, he cannot comprehend why the idea of being a possession or property or designed for sex makes you feel bad. You're very valuable to him... that should be enough. In fact, all your nice parts make you even more valuable, because they provide you with more use! ...Saying so seems to only make you more upset though, and he's not sure why. It's all so confusing. He's starting to understand the human men's woes. They were right, you are impossible to understand.

 -----

 Kaeya is the absolute, complete, total epitome of a 'nice guy'. He thinks that him giving you the bare minimum of the basic respect for another human being possible is not only going above and beyond, but should be rewarded. Similar to Thoma but much more shamelessly, genuinely entitled, and far more aggressively acting on that entitlement, much more pushy, and expects results much sooner. Like, that's how it works yeah? Be nice to girl = get sex; it's a very simple formula that is supposed to apply under all conditions. Yeah, yeah, he'd totally be nice to you anyway, it's not like you have to, but like... well, to say he deserves it, it's not in a demanding way, just in a... logical way. He'd be nice to you no matter what, but it's only fair to have an expectation of reward. That's how the world works, you can't just expect people to always be good without providing them with incentives. 

And much like Venti, he's one of those guys that's very very all for the idea of liberation and stuff like that because that just makes it so much easier to get what he wants! And will pretend to be very pro-freedom and choices for girls... as long as those choices are the ones he wants you to make. It becomes blatantly obvious very quickly that every single nice word or action is just an attempt to get between your legs. And unfortunately for him, it seems to not be working.

 The other biggest offense is the massive slut-shaming. Like, what do you mean you slept with someone else before, ever? You just have no self respect, do you. Even if it's literally just one, he'll still find a way to make you feel bad about it. But uh, he does need to know the exact number... like immediately... not out of insecurity or anything, just... couples should be honest with each other, you know. Absolutely devastated if it's anything he considers "high" (read: 1=not great but okay, 2=pushing it, 3+=soul-crushing), but he keeps a smile no matter what, just sighs. You... probably just slept with so many people (yes, even if it's like 2-5 he'll still use 'many') because you're just so sweet and easily taken advantage of, yeah? You should be more discriminate and have some self respect and not just sleep around with anyone who wants it, make them work for it! Make them prove that they're genuinely nice people who really care about you. Like he is. Use him as a standard of comparison, yeah? He's the kind of person you should sleep with. ...Or maybe, like, the person, rather than just the type... and since you're so sweet, he knows you're not like, the kind of person who would ever be sexually active with more than one person at once, so there's... no need to worry... because if you were, you'd tell him, so he assumes.

 Yet, he also... Reverse slut shames? Like, what do you mean you won't sleep with him within two hours of knowing him? You're not like, a prude or something right? He says it with a chuckle in his tone, but there's some genuine concern there... Or maybe you just think you're too good for him and you're trying to play hard to get? Yeah, that sounds more likely. Trying to make him meet a bunch of requirements to sleep with you because you're a manipulative little thing... Well, he won't say that part out loud, but that's certainly his internal thoughts.

 He's also the type you can go to crying over a toxic relationship, being cheated on or abused... he'll comfort you alright (what an asshole! Who would do something like that? Someone who has something as great as you and was actually nice would appreciate it!), but be sure to alternate between what comes across as genuine comfort, mixed with the sentiment of "well you're the one that chose to fuck him :/ There were probably red flags you just ignored :/ You shouldn't have dated an asshole, you could have had a good guy (like me) :/" Just enough niceness to get you to second guess yourself when he goes in for the jabs -- he was being so nice just a moment ago, so maybe he didn't mean that other part in a mean way, right? Definitely the type to refer to himself as a "good" or "nice" guy (he's not) and say he would have been so much better (he'd be worse) and treat you with so much respect (he would not).

 If you sleep with someone else, you clearly have no common sense or self respect. You should think more highly of yourself than to give yourself away like that. But if you won't sleep with him, you're conceited, you really think too highly of yourself. Someone needs to pull you off your high horse and break the reality to you. You're not so great that someone like him is gonna wait around until you feel "ready" or whatever dumb excuse you're using.

 He's not gonna straight up whine, since that would be kinda pathetic... so if the smiles and charm doesn't work, he just gaslights you. It's been what, a week since you met? And you still haven't had sex even once! You know that's like, really abnormal for most couples, right? Do you really like him at all, even? Or are you just using him for money or favors or something? He's good at talking, guilting, gaslighting his way into it, using points he knows full well manipulates mentalities internalized within you through female socialization, like not wanting to be boring and not wanting to disappoint him and not wanting to be made out to be using someone. And gods forbid you pull some kind of 'until marriage' line. Oh, come on. That's outdated. No one does that anymore. Besides, the whole point of being able to have sex now is that it's more, uh, what's the word... empowering, right. Really, you're doing yourself a disservice by not having sex now. The only reason you're holding back is because you're been ingrained with this terrible notion by society that it's wrong, and that's why you've convinced yourself you're just someone that needs a while to feel comfortable. You poor thing. You really need to free your mind of that mentality.

 But no matter what happens, he will absolutely gaslight you into thinking it was your fault. He acts like you were doing something wrong and trying to be sneaky while he's super smart and clever for seeing through it, as if it were intentional on your end. Would definitely aim to pick at clothes -- you should know better than to go out dressed like that. You were trying to get guys' attention, probably manipulate them into buying you drinks or something with implied promises of getting laid but then you were just gonna bolt and not follow through. You totally wanted someone to see you like that and lust after you. You want guys to look at you and fantasize about putting their dick in you, to chase after you like hungry dogs. You really thought you could just do whatever you wanted, and not face any consequences, huh? You had to learn your lesson the hard way, thankfully at least from someone who cares about you.

 And that blame continues beyond clothes, too. You were acting really provocatively, too. You probably really wanted it, and didn't want to admit to it. You just feel embarrassed about what you did and now want to call it nonconsensual when you know full well it was consensual. See, that's the socially ingrained mentality again, just admit that you wanted it, he's not going to judge you... not out loud, at least. And no, you weren't drugged. You were very intoxicated, though. Not his fault, since he was totally just as drunk as you... but still, really, you're lucky it was him and not someone else. But really, allowing yourself to reach that point... what did you expect to happen? You made the choice to intoxicate yourself, knowing you were out in a public area with plenty of guys roaming around, you were basically aski-- ...well, he knows maybe that exact choice of words would be going too far, would make you mad. Ahem, you were certainly aware of the risk, and chose to take it anyway. So really, wasn't this the best possible outcome? You knew exactly what you were getting into, so foolish, but hey, he technically saved you from ending up waking up to someone much worse! He makes sure to paint a horrible image in your head so that you feel lucky, grateful even, and totally forgotten any ideas of accusing him of anything.

 Also, he can be very, very predatory in the sense that he will sense and target the exact type of girl he knows he can walk all over and she won't do anything. You're some sort of worker in the knight headquarters or something, not looking at you round a corner and bump right into him, papers getting strewn everywhere... and this girl, as he sees, is immediately apologetic, nearly hysterically so, stuttering apologies and panicking to pick up everything with trembling hands, you bow your head over and over, get teary-eyed even, and frantically say you're so sorry, that was my fault... oh... you're definitely that exact type of girl he was hoping to meet. A doormat that will do anything to make men happy. He imagines you would be so, so easy to manipulate. He knows full well that it's due to a socialization that girls get projected onto them, that they're pressured to behave that way, and that while the ones with a sense of self-worth usually overcome it and learn to stick up for themselves... the weak ones like you succumb to it. And really, isn't it better, then, that you get taken advantage of by someone who cares about you, rather than someone who would just use you and throw you away? He's doing you a favor, really.

 That's most likely what causes a fixation with you in the first place, and observing you, and some mild experimentation, proves all his initial assumptions correct. You will tolerate all the touches at work, you just stiffen and let it happen, you won't say a word to anyone. You'd probably rather do anything than disappoint a guy in authority over you. You'd probably do anything you're told to do, even if you don't want to, because you feel obligated to please. And you'd probably knowingly walk right into allowing yourself to be taken away, like a sheep to the slaughter. In other words, you're perfect.

 -----

 Zhongli is a different type of infuriating because of the infantilization you endure. Part of it, to be fair, is because at his age, he sort of inherently views you as not really any different than a child. If you're under 500 years old or so, you might as well have been born yesterday, naive and foolish and impulsive and all that. Likewise, a visionless human is practically as defenseless as a baby, in comparison to the sheer power he's both wielded and witnessed in his lifetime. You're helpless, like a little lost kitten or something.

 But it goes double for a female darling because, well, a mere mortal human is already fragile enough, but to be among the weaker, slower, smaller, less intelligent half of humanity just makes you that much more vulnerable. You're far too fragile, you see. In his mind, you will break at the slightest of force, you could never handle strenuous tasks or anything physically challenging.

 Which is, bizarrely, part of why he's especially likely to pick up some poor fighter darling he stumbles across. See, no matter how good at fighting you may appear to be, he rationalizes that you're merely just getting by, keeping your head barely above water, by sheer luck and utilizing strategy, not by any actual skill. He can instantly convince himself that you're actually in very, very urgent need, that you're barely getting by. Oh, you're probably so afraid, you've probably just so narrowly escaped defeat a multitude of times, unbelievable luck keeping you from ending up taken or worse. So, he's saving you from what would have inevitably happened to you eventually -- you would be defeated, captured, and... well, unpleasant things would happen to you. They would treat you terribly, merely use you... they wouldn't care for you like he does. And he does take good care of you, really, even if you often feel like you're going to blow a fuse from the attitude he has towards you.

 See, he also thinks this is more... suitable. Really, it's kind of unsavory for you to have been out there, fighting and roaming all free. It's a waste of your body, being put to use for something pointless and not what it was intended for. It's a waste of your time, which could have been spent making some man's life happier, which is far more important than whatever it was you were doing before. You have so much use and value, and you were out there wasting it! He understands why, though, you became disillusioned with your own power, overestimated yourself, allowed yourself to neglect your higher purpose and instead indulged in having personal goals and selfish wants and desires... luckily he took you away before that would have gotten you hurt. The downside of that is you perpetually insist you can take care of yourself, that you were doing just fine, that you would have been able to defeat anything that came after you... sigh. So naive. It's cute, really, like a child who doesn't understand how the adult world works, but is talking like they do, which is always quite amusing... you're like that. After all, women and children are somewhat alike in that way, they both like to avoid reality in favor of allowing themselves to believe they're far more powerful, capable, and knowledgeable than they actually are. You are so innocent, so unaware of how the world really is and how weak you truly are, no one was there to make sure you understood that.

 But sometimes, you force his hand. Sometimes you need to be shown, because you can't be reasoned with (although that's to be expected, of course, unreasonable by nature). Sometimes you need to be held down, need to be held still, just so you can fight and thrash about and finally understand where you stand. It makes your blood boil, your stomach churn to be talked down to, asked if you're done with your tantrum and can stop being so unreasonable now. Not that he gets too impatient with said tantrums... they're natural, bound to happen at times, given your nature, so he's patient in expecting you to calm down.

 He's patient with a reeducation on your ways as well. A lot of our boys react rather badly to a high-promiscuity darling, seeing her as needing change, needing to have her autonomy stripped away, punished for it even... Zhongli alleviates you of responsibility a bit more than that, though, paints a more innocent picture of you in his head, there's more pity. Sure, you were still out of control, breeding like a little rabbit in heat, but there's a lot more emphasis on how sad it is for you. You poor thing, you have these needs that have to be taken care of, and other people were taking advantage of you. It's not your fault you so desperately need to be bred, those others could see that, and used you.

 ...That being said. It is still an issue. He rationalizes your sexuality a little differently than most, should you turn out to have a rather active drive or active experiences. See, women are supposed to be more pure of mind and all that, they're naturally innocent and chaste, they aren't supposed to be lewd and perverse. But every now and then, and as is the case with you, there will be one with some sort of, ah, chemical imbalance, he guesses, causing the girl in question to crave sex and do unfeminine things that taint your purity, like masturbating and fantasizing and, if gone unchecked, fornication. That's no fault of your own, and really, you should have had special consideration -- a girl of that type should be married off as quickly as possible to a man that can... adequately handle that, and ensure those needs are met.

 Speaking of masturbating though, that's something off limits to you. You'll have to have some measures put in place to ensure you can't. Your pleasure is, like every other part of you, property, and you are not the one that gets to decide on it. That, too, seems to be something you have an issue with, no self control to prevent either of these things, and no one was given control over you to ensure you didn't engage in these behaviors.

 It's your upbringing's fault, really, they should've recognized your tendencies and dealt with that appropriately rather than allowing you to run off and become a slut, and the fault of all the men you know, since they manipulated you into it. It's not your fault. Your mind simply operates on physical sensations and urges and can't process consequences, and thus people take advantage of you, and that's precisely why you should have been watched over more carefully. But that works out decently in the end. Sometimes bad things happen for a reason, and for you, it was so that you could eventually end up with him.

 After all, this was all for your own wellbeing. He's lived long enough to have seen plenty of female warriors... they depend on cunning, agility, or powers unnatural to them, such as visions. But he's also seen many of them end up in situations where they are forced to rely on brute strength, and, well, that always ends very quickly. And it ends in the same way each time... said ending is not pleasant. He's seen plenty of female captains and generals and goddesses even, taken down and reduced to a mere slave or toy by someone who so easily overpowered them... it's unfortunate, and he wasn't going to let that happen to you. If it were a perfect world, perhaps it would be acceptable for you to run around on your own, but it isn't, which is why you must be protected from others and yourself alike, you need to be owned and controlled so you don't endanger yourself.

 ...Or, rather, in an alternate scenario, he may very well be the cause of that happening to you.

 Morax of many years ago was not quite so forgiving and patient as he would later become. Alternatively, in his more aggressive days, a goddess may have very well been the perfect target during the war or any number of other conflicts. He was a lot less patient... and a lot less tolerant. Now, he would find it amusing and cute, but in those days, being some cold, arrogant woman who thinks you're so great just because of godhood would merely get under his skin. It's like an insult, you know? You look down on him like you think you're better. And he doesn't take very kindly to those who try and act like they're superior. There's just some sort of instinctive, primal even, urge to put you in your place, ruin you and turn you into something he can own for himself. It's an intoxicating fantasy on its own, but it won't stay fantasy for very long... he tends to act on what he wants rather quickly.

 It also serves as a good model to the humans as to why it was wrong to ever hold you in any reverence. Don't they know that, even among themselves, there's a strength difference between their males and females? And yet they chose to worship you, undoubtedly knowing you were weak? Strange. Well, they'll get a good idea now, what with you being kept all naked and chained up on the ground, sitting at his feet. The way you practically tremble out of sheer rage, he can see it as you sit there, scowling and eyes watering, anger and humiliation swelling in your chest... it's endearing, really.

 But it was necessary -- your kind aren't meant to have pride. They're made to be humble. Just because you somehow managed to get out of line doesn't mean that he doesn't have a responsibility as a superior to you to ensure you get back in your place. You'll learn humility one way or another, along with obedience and all the other little things you're supposed to. You have a chain leash connected to the collar on your neck, so even now if he doesn't like your tone or body language, or if you somehow have the audacity to speak without permission, he can just give it a nice warning tug.

  -----

 Albedo and Scaramouche are both awful for the same reason -- they both have some bitterness, abandonment paranoia and horrible inferiority complexes (and consequently/defensively developed superiority ones) due to a female figure in their early lives, and have to overcompensate for it as a result. It basically amounts to that they have to have darling herself see herself as beneath them, they want to be looked up to, and will seethe over the slightest notion that you don't see yourself as just as inferior to them as they see you.

 However, they have another similarity in that they don't show these sentiments very much, at least not at the start. It's all internal thoughts and subtle, often passive-aggressive efforts. So they sort of have a silent power struggle, where they constantly want to be better than darling and feel threatened (or rather, it wounds that fragile masculinity, poor things) whenever darling is actually smart or strong or capable. Because if you're any of those things, that means there's a chance you won't see him as better than you!! And then he won't feel superior (and needed), and you might behave inappropriately (and not need him, and belittle him, and if you don't need him you can disregard him, he won't mean anything to you, and that would hurt...). That can't stand.

 Of course, then, it's easy to fall back on the comfort of the notion that oneself is inherently superior to someone else by nature, and thus that difference is innate, unchangeable, and will remain true no matter what, so there's no threat. Of course, this does not work out as well when darling wants to act in defiance of that.

 Honestly fem!darling brings out the absolute worst side of Albedo. Like, he's infinitely more obnoxious for a female darling than he would be a male one just because she triggers his complexes and, consequently, makes him feel a compulsion to constantly subtly remind her how much smarter and superior he is. He has a somewhat mix of a modest and prideful nature most of the time. For another guy, he can admit to having not known something, or someone else being more knowledgeable. You'll hear the occasional line out of him, he's very humble normally, especially when dealing with things that aren't his field: That's not really something I know a lot about... hm, I actually didn't know that... oh, that's just a guess, I don't really have sufficient experience on the matter...

But with female darling? No. That all goes out the window. He knows everything about everything that has ever existed and cannot be wrong and, most important of all, you are the opposite. He's infinitely smarter than you and more capable than you by nature and has to make sure you are very well aware of that fact. The thing is, he is very much NOT an outwardly assertive nor confrontational person, quite the opposite. His nature is to go about that subtly and passive-aggressively... except as time goes on, he gets more and more irritated that it's not working and starts to fail at the subtle part, and it results in obvious passive-aggressiveness.

 The worst position to be in would be some sort of assistant or scholar under him (prior to being snatched up and locked away somewhere). He has to make sure to make you feel dumb, or at least inferior. Can't have you feeling comparable. It's best if you are beneath him, but if you are actually intelligent -- or, gods forbid, better at his occupation than him -- he gets... twitchy. He stays silent a lot, maintains a neutral face, but you can feel a sort of... ominous tension in your interactions. He grips the papers he's holding rather tightly, so much so that by the time he hands them off to you, they have creases in them. It almost looks like he's clenching his jaw whenever you speak to him. All his movements are rough, the way he sets things down and moves things almost as if slamming them.

 He always makes sure to double-check your work "just in case" (silently seething when he realizes you made zero mistakes, he was hoping there would be something to correct you on and subtly exaggerate how badly you messed up...), chooses his words carefully to psychologically manipulate you (oh, he can handle the difficult part, you can do what's left... Or hey, maybe this is a bit too advanced for you, maybe you'd be better off with a simpler task...), or just outright holding you to unreasonable expectations of workload, acting as if it's a normal amount, in hopes you start to doubt yourself. And then, when you struggle to complete the enormous amount and insane difficulty of work given to you in such a short time frame... oh, don't worry, he's not upset. He thought it might be a little too much for you, it's his fault for overestima-- ah, not thinking it through. Here, why don't you do something you're better suited for, like uh... put these up on the shelf in alphabetical order. You can handle that, yeah?

 Basically it's just an attempt to gaslight you into believing that it's a normal amount of work, and that your failure to complete it in time is an issue with you, that you can't handle the normal amount of work and need to step down to something more within your capabilities. Make you feel stupid. Make you come to realize just how big the gap between the two of you is. Which is only how it should be, the term "natural order" exists for a reason.

 Also. Albedo is the worst about mansplaining. It's. Infuriating. Especially if darling isn't someone working with him, and thus has no experience in his line of work. It's part for self-reassurance that he's smarter than you and that you think so too, and part just wanting to be impressive. But it's not just alchemy, no, it's everything, it's like he thinks you were born yesterday and have to have basic concepts explained to you like you're a kid. It becomes infuriating very quickly. Like, yes, you understand how that thing works, everyone understands how that thing works, you don't need it explained, especially not with a not-so-subtle condescending tone. However, it's harder if it is something you don't know much about. He is a master of making up absolute bullshit on the spot about any topic he doesn't know about and saying it with full calm confidence, so he can make up literally anything and convince you he's right.

 But like he's not blatant and cocky about it, he does it in his very normal monotone, kinda flat voice, with just that slight hint of condescension. But that just makes it more effective, because it doesn't seem like he's showing off. It's very subtle, just like how he just kinda gives backhanded compliments that end up making you feel dumb.  He also does it with things that he has absolutely no reason to think he knows more about than you, things that apply to your own biology. Yes, he will mansplain periods, pregnancy, and your body to you, as if you are not literally the one who experiences those things and owns that body.

 And he gets more and more obvious with time as to the root of it all, more or less dropping any pretenses of fairness or trying to hide how he actually thinks once he finally decides enough is enough and that he needs to go ahead and get you locked inside to start working on reforming you. It quickly devolves from "you as an individual are falling behind and thereby inferior" and into "you must be inherently inferior because of what you are." But he doesn't really care if you realize why he thinks you're -- no, why you are inferior. You being offended and appalled doesn't change that he's right. He has really the same mentalities as others, but he uses big fancy words and pseudo-science to "explain" you and thus justify said mentality.

 Perhaps worst of all is the atrocious amounts of gross, outlandish pseudoscience that he chooses to believe because, well, he wants to. And he will attempt to spew the same bullshit to you too. Yes, you are hardwired to have a desire to be submissive. The only reason you don't feel it is because of social conditioning, society is way too lenient these days (despite the fact that the idea that you can be socially conditioned otherwise would contradict the idea that it's innate... well, whatever, that part's not important). But if you tried to behave properly, you'd actually be a lot happier. When you're obedient, it sets off receptors in your brain, gives you a big boost of happiness, you should try it. Also, you evolved to stay in smaller ranges of space like a home, which is why keeping you inside or within the encampment area boundaries all the time is for your own good. Oh, and when you get cum inside of you, it makes you pair-bond faster (this is why pulling out isn't an option, hopefully you can grasp that).

 You're naturally more emotional. Hormones, you know, and because that's... well that's just how your brain works. Lower IQ and all that. Yes he's very qualified to talk about brain science, but that's not important. Anyway, that's why your feelings on virtually everything don't really deserve to be taken seriously. It's not that you don't matter to him, of course not, it's just that your opinions don't matter. Big difference. There's no point in listening to your thoughts because they are going to be inherently swayed by your overemotional, illogical brain. And the fact that you refuse to accept that in and of itself is evidence to that -- see, if you were observant and logical and rational, you'd be able to humble yourself and acknowledge your inferiority. But because you're emotional by nature, you just get mad about it and stubbornly insist otherwise.

 It's all simply facts, the way things are. No use arguing against it... so don't. You're a lot more likeable when you're being nice and agreeable. There's a reason that's been a standard for so long, you know. It's simply the model that works best. You should just be loving and sweet and don't disagree or have any opinions or thoughts of your own and open your legs on command, and he can take care of everything else. Easy. It's good for him too. Yes, it's been proven that the depression from not getting sex when they want it can make a man's productivity fall by number-made-up-on-the-spot percent. You were never going to contribute anything of value back when he was entertaining your silly little fantasy of working alongside him, so if you really want to help so much, just be good for him. That's what works best, it's natural.

 And on that matter, perhaps it's that naturally inquisitive mind of his, but he does like to really observe your... decline. It's an experiment of it's own, in a way. Watching you gradually have what he says repeated to you so much that you start to believe it yourself. You start to feel inferior. You become more docile. More submissive. His talk of how you're so emotional and irrational gaslights you on your own sense of reason, makes you question if you can even trust your own thoughts. Eventually, you'll realize you can't... and come to rely on his instead, just as intended. Which is fine, that model of partnership has been what's kept humanity alive for so long.

  -

 Scaramouche is more... negative. You KNOW this boy resents women, has a complex for sure. There's definitely a subconscious power struggle in his head as a result of the whole origin thing, he has to feel more important and superior to you in every conceivable way. Yes, a power struggle... even though it's more or less completely fabricated in his head and more like him struggling with himself while you're blissfully unaware.

 Consequently, he just cannot stand the thought of a female having power over him in any way... Even the authority of the tsaritsa bothers him a little bit to be honest, he tries his best to ignore that, which is doable, since she's more distant. But if a woman was ever put in like, a position of authority directly above him to the point where she's constantly present and telling him what to do, it would drive him up the wall even more than it would if it were a guy in that same position. Like, it's just not right, you're supposed to be beneath him, not the other way around.

 But in that awful, horrible worst case scenario, or if you have a roughly equal position (also a horrible scenario, but slightly less so)... he struggles with it internally, having to come to terms with the idea that you're on equal footing and status, does that mean you're just as capable as him? Not that that's threatening or anything but -- wait. No, wait, there's a simple explanation. It certainly wasn't your brains or prowess or capabilities that got you anywhere in life. He forgot that you have the option of cheating your way to whatever you want, a free ticket to any position you desire -- all you have to do is sleep with the right person. Or people.

 He tells himself that you definitely fucked several people to get there, there's no way you could have ever earned that spot on your own. You just get to suck and ride your way to success, he has to actually be good at what he's doing. Not everyone can have it as easy as you. That's probably how you get everything in life, really, you've never had to work for anything, you just sell your body out enough and get everything taken care of for you. Not to mention, you're very manipulative, there's so many guys out there that will do whatever you want just for you to give them a passing glance. Pathetic, really. He hates guys like that, they enable conceited, stuck-up sluts like you.

 Honestly he's obsessive be it positive or negative, in your case something of both, but in many ways negative. It's almost a hate obsession, that turns into an attachment, but certainly starts off negative. He has to constantly put you down in his own head, in order to feel more confident that the two of you definitely aren't equal in any way and he has every right to look down on you. In fact, the tsaritsa probably gives you favoritism too, since you're both female, so you have her AND all the men in authority letting you climb ranks without any real effort on your part. It's unbelievable AND annoying that such a thing could happen, someone with no skill ending up in such a high rank.

 Also, a lot of his disdain comes from him being one of those guys that's secretly mad at himself for having so much lust and discomfort with it, but deflects blame onto you for causing that feeling. You come in one day wearing something too short on your thighs, too low on your chest, and he finds his eyes and mind drifting... only to snap out of it after a few moments. Intentional, of course. You want people to look at you. You would do something like that, no sense of dignity or self-respect. Well, too bad, you can get all the attention you want from all the lowlifes he watches drool over you (they're absolutely pathetic and it infuriates him to see them bend over backwards for you, you're manipulating them by... existing... with that body... and being generally pleasant, and you're just allowed to get away with that!), but not him, he's not about to waste his time looking at such an eyesore as your whorishness, he has better things to care about. He'd never waste his time even thinking about a whore that doesn't deserve a second glance. Yes, you'd probably open your legs for the first person that came by. You seem like the type.

 Or maybe not -- no, you're pretty... of course, that's the only thing you have going for you, but pretty ones like you are usually conceited and picky. You want to show off and get all the benefits and attention, lead people on but never put out. At least if you keep going like that, existing as a tease and never following through, you'll eventually get what's coming to you, and it'll be well-deserved.

 But it doesn't matter because he doesn't care about you. Not at all. You're like, not really a person, just a set of holes to be used by someone. And someone will, you seem irresponsible, someone's definitely gonna knock you up and then you'll be forced to step down. Or better yet, someone will finally have enough of your nonsense and knock you down a peg. Finally put you to use at something you're actually good at, like being a breeding machine, rather than wasting time and resources being an unproductive member who just exists to be eye candy for others. But he doesn't care. He's not going to lay awake at night seething over you and your dumb smile and useless body or anything.

 The thing is, all of this... is internal.

 You live in this man's head rent-free, the subject of his daily inner episodes of reasoning with himself on every insecurity by providing reasons to not feel threatened or intimidated by you, to remind himself he's better than you, utterly obsessing over his desire to put you down... meanwhile, you're pretty sure he's only acknowledged your existence like, once. It's entirely in his own head. He avoids interactions with you at all costs, whenever you're around he doesn't even bother looking up at you, and keeps a neutral, bored-looking face, merely seething on the inside at a distance because how dare you... have a body with all those curves and soft parts... and a voice that sounds so nice... and one time you walked past him really close and now he knows you smell so good too... ugh. If he's forced to interact with you, he'll just come across to you as bored, apathetic... like he doesn't care (because he doesn't), like you're wasting his time (because you are). Or, he may even put on the "decent human being" act even, knowing he either has to force that or risk being too obviously oddly bitter towards someone he's never really talked to.

 He does cope with the frustration in one way, though... he calls you certain terms, whenever he has unpleasant interactions. Grumbles and mutters them under his breath, quietly enough to not be heard, but just once or twice you catch the words just when you're walking off and he thinks you're out of earshot. Bitch. Slut. Whore. It's cathartic. Well, even though you hear it, it was probably directed at someone else, since you've never really interacted much and he has no reason to dislike you, right?

 Except he can find a reason to make you out to be a horrible person, regardless of personality. The doormat type that never sticks up for yourself, always apologetic and quiet? You just want people to feel pity for you, so you act pathetic. It's manipulative, you want people to forgive you whenever you screw up by being so pitiful they can't bring themselves to be mean to you. The happy ray of sunshine type who's friendly to everyone? It's all an act. You're probably a huge bitch underneath that, you're just nice to get on people's good side so you can learn more about them or manipulate them. That's taking into account, though, any female that isn't inherently self-sacrificing and doormat-ish and stands up for herself qualifies as a "huge bitch." The only truly good women are the ones that have no sense of self-worth.

 And worst of all, a stern, calloused, serious type? Takes no nonsense, never smiles, very firm and assertive? Ugh. Literally the worst type of female. You shouldn't be allowed to be like that. It makes him truly seethe, what gives you the right to be so confident and cold, especially to him? You think you're better than him, huh? No, no, you're coping. You're actually totally insecure deep down. Really, you're probably just bitter because you are a female... you probably wish you were a man so people would take you more seriously. Because you know no one actually does... and with good reason. You just don't like acknowledging that there's a good reason.

 After... obtaining you, though, he has to remind you, too. Remind you of what you're good for, put you in your place. You're so lucky you have some use to him.

 The name calling doesn't stop either, just a bit different. He does that thing, that horribly annoying thing that certain types of guys frequently do, where he seems to act as if you don't have a name and merely calls you by what you are. Come here, woman. Lots of little commands like that. Hey, at least it's not a derogatory name. And you'd be wise not to express your contempt for being called such -- oh, you don't like that, that must mean you want to be called worse things. No? Then don't complain in the first place.

 But he does get strict on standards. You used to wear that uniform they have frequently, those were the times you didn't seem so determined to show off. Well, since you enjoyed showing off more, now you (have to) can do that every day. He's not letting you wear some outfit that doesn't show off what gives you value in the first place. If you're gonna be a lap toy, you have to look nice.

 Not that it's your only function. Turns out you have several uses. Holes for use, a womb for impregnating. Tits for pillows. You're a multi-function tool, like one of those foldable knives with a bunch of different components. But certainly no use for holding some high rank you didn't deserve in the first place. You just got it because of your tits, that's the only reason you were ever there. You know that, yeah? He makes absolutely sure to remind you often. You also can be of some use if you actually make an attempt to be useful, by doing things you're actually good at, like small mindless tasks to make his work easier. It's not hard.

 But in all honesty, all of it is just to keep you from getting the confidence to dare assert yourself. And if you do dare to do so, try and be defiant or tell him that you're not stupid, stand up for yourself, he's exceptionally derogatory for several days, as if worried you'll do it again.

 Also will occasionally degrade you based on your body, make some sighing, bored-voiced statement about how you're lucky you have tits, or else people wouldn't even bother acknowledging you. And he just attributes any behavior he can to femininity. Darling is crying over anything at all? So emotional, typical female behavior. Probably doesn't even have a reason. You're mad? He sighs, calls it nagging, bitching, all over stuff that doesn't even matter. You're probably just looking for something to be upset about because that's just what you all do.

 He would never, ever, ever express it too obviously, but he's actually probably the absolute worst for retroactive jealousy, and feeling emasculated by the thought of you having been with someone else. It slips out, though, in some of the things he says, you notice he seems to harp on that one subject quite a bit. That you were probably a slut. You probably fucked every guy on your former team. You don't even know what your body count is, do you. Probably lost track. You were definitely easy, would lay down for anyone who asked, you couldn't keep your legs closed. Any insistence otherwise goes in one ear and out the other.

 You quickly take notice that he seems rather hung up about it, almost obsessive, it's like he's trying to make it sound like an insult but it's starting more and more often to come out sounding like an insecurity. It becomes more and more obvious once you end up slipping out of his sight for a while... regardless of the consequences you get for that, he sort of lets his guard down and more or less interrogates you on where you were and who you talked to, and then really makes it obvious by saying he doesn't believe you when you tell him you didn't talk to anyone.

 After all, once a slut, always a slut. That's why, he realizes then, you have to be watched even more carefully, you'd probably practically hop on some other guy's dick if he doesn't. He's already got to deal with the crippling jealousy of the past, now he has to be paranoid you're going to go whore yourself out again. It's not like you have the self-control to do otherwise, sluts never do. Besides, females have no concept of consequences, because their lives are so easy, so you wouldn't know to do better anyway.

 That's another thing -- it explains all of your behavioral issues. You're the problem, not his standards or rules. See, girls don't ever have to try at anything. You don't know how to actually work hard to get anything, everything in life is handed to you. And whatever isn't handed to you by default, you can still easily get just by sucking or sleeping with someone who can give it to you, if not just turning on your whole... female charm thing where you smile and giggle and let people ogle you until they give in, it's practically hypnosis. And of course, then, you can get whatever you want easily. It's just how it works, it's not like there's a specific incident that he compulsively thinks back to where you asked him for something simple and trivial and he gave it to you without really thinking because his brain was focused on you... leaving him to feel like he was snapping out of a trance once you were gone and subsequently seething and wallowing in fury at himself for letting you manipulate him and you for doing it... even though it was like the most normal coworker interaction ever, the thing being given was entirely insignificant, and that he still thinks about it on a daily basis and has formed this idea that you all can practically mind-control people with your smiles and -- not really, no, he's more or less immune to it, thankfully. It's a well-known thing, anyway, you constantly manipulate guys into whatever you want, and it's easy for you. Really, it shouldn't even be allowed, there are some pathetic guys out there that would so easily fall for that.

 Also, for both of him and Albedo... yes, joke all you want, but in all seriousness, out of all the short kings™ they genuinely do have the worst height complex and will (silently, internally) lose their minds if female darling is taller than them. They practically wince every time they're reminded of it. Like, that's not how it's supposed to work. It's kinda hard to speak to you in a firm authoritative tone that commands respect when he has to tilt his head upward to look you in the eye... all the more reason to keep you down on the ground in some way. But should you mock them, they pretend like it doesn't matter. You think that's going to get under his skin, huh? You're just being childish, it's not a big deal... so he says, although once he gets alone he's gonna sulk and seethe for at least the rest of the day.

 -----

(Previously discussed Childe (here) and (here) and Diluc (here)!)

 Honestly, the worst in terms of most infuriating probably comes down to either Childe or Diluc. Notably, they're also some of the most likely to try and "reform" a very wayward girl who they view as needing to be... Redirected. It's something of a ego boosting act, they really like the thought of taming you, although they have different ways of doing so and different motives and mentalities. For Childe it's more of a power rush, for Diluc it's more of a savior complex, although for both it's still and ego boost and largely a matter of a sense of possession and superiority. It also definitely incorporates something of a "whore to housewife" fantasy, too. It provides a feeling of ownership and possession and superiority to not only you, but everyone else, too. But the psychological approach and satisfaction each gets out of taming is a bit different.

 For Childe it's more of the thrill and rush of it all. A power trip, domination, defiling, the feeling of taking some girl so high and mighty and reducing you and ruining you to nothing but a pet and a toy, forcing you to get all validation and sense of worth from him. Make you into something owned. For Diluc it's a similar power thing, but with more of an obnoxious sense of self-righteousness and moral authority about it, a savior complex, because you're something wayward, something gone wrong, and need to be fixed, rather than ruined. Made perfect. Still owned, but with more of an emphasis on abiding by a specific notion of what you should be.

 Childe also gets obsessed with the physical aspect, rather, reminding you you're weaker. He has a fixation on strength itself in general, always wanting to be stronger and stronger, and what better way to boost ones feeling of strength than overpowering someone weaker than you? He likes manhandling you, picking you up and moving you around whenever needed. Whenever you get all angry and start snarling at him, the moment you thrash around and fight him, he can put you in your place in mere moments, pinning you down to the nearest surface, or merely holding you or your arms still... You can get back up, be released, when you apologize and ask for it nicely. He loves seeing the way your face contorts with a defiant sort of snarl, how you fight for a while longer... Besides, it gives him time to humiliate you further. Remember how you used to think you were so big and strong, huh? You remember that time you told him you could take him down with ease? What happened to that?

 Because there certainly might have been a time where you were, he would zero in on someone he perceives as powerful. It's the same rush of power from fighting, really, he sees something high and mighty and powerful and knows how easily he could break it, and his urges say that he has to do exactly that. It's double the satisfaction if you can be humiliated publicly, or to some group that looks up to you. Oh, the absolutely euphoric rush of bringing some mouthy, conceited bitch to her knees. Truly nothing in this world could bring him more joy. Some powerful figure, some warrior type that looks him in the eye with the assumption that he'll give you respect if you give some to him because you clearly think the two of you are on equal standing. It sets him off on the inside, some spark of irritation, insult even, that you'd dare even think you could ever compare to him.

 He's a patient man, though. Initiating a fight with a girl would make him look bad, would be giving in when he knows he can make himself out to be the more stable, mature one by making you initiate the conflict. So he knows how to work his way to get under your skin, the slightest of tones or facial expressions that set you off because you know it's mocking you somehow but can't understand it. Condescension so subtle you think at first you're imagining it.

 You come to realize it, but you know what the only acceptable response is. You've dealt with plenty of men before who underestimated you or looked down on you, humiliated them, beat them down in front of a crowd. He's not going to be any different, so you think.

 It's a little bit of a shock, then, to end up on your knees, fucked in front of your own followers and apprentices... Bruised and weak from exhaustion and quivering in sensation. Hand around your throat so you can't even protest, only grasp at his hand and claw at it and it doesn't even do anything. Eventually you give up. Your hands fall away. You just hang your head and sniffle. Aw, look at you, you're starting to get it! Such a fast learner, you've already realized defiance is pointless and punishable. What happened to the tough girl act though, huh? You were so mouthy before. But deep down you're just a fragile little girl, aren't you? It was so easy to make you cry and break you apart.

 Don't worry, though, he's here to put you back together... Make you better than you were before. Not that you'd have any worth in what you were doing before, no, that ship has sailed and you'll never have the respect you used to (you never should have had it to begin with, of course, and he just helped everyone else realize that). Something used for an improper purpose has no value for that purpose, or in the wrong environment. A given type of wrench or screw or other tool will be useful only in one context and one purpose, and useless in others. That's what your life so far has been like... trying to use a tool for the wrong purpose. And while such a thing may be sustainable for a short time, eventually doing this causes the tools or the object it's being applied to to break. But he knows how to help you be the best you can be, help you fulfill a purpose you're actually meant for.

 He's infuriatingly condescending, too, in the most mocking of ways. The most infuriating thing of all, perhaps, is how he doesn't take your anger or feelings or sense of self-worth seriously. Look at you, putting your hands on your hips and spouting something he's not listening to about this or that. You think your opinions matter? Aww. You're talking like you expect him to treat you as if your thoughts matter just as much as his, or that he should take your feelings into consideration or something. That's adorable. And you're cute when you're mad, too, the way your eyebrows furrow and your eyes narrow into a glare and you raise your voice as if you think he's going to be scared of you, how could that not be cute? He might even skip the punishment for getting an attitude. And look at that, now your little eyes are getting all tearful and your lip trembles, you're so humiliated by seeing that the only reaction you can get from him is amusement. It's euphoric. Look at you... how could you ever expect him to take you seriously? You can act all tough, but you're just a fragile little girl, aren't you? It's okay. You can drop the tough act any time you want, yet you still seem to insist on picking up the pieces of your confidence each and every time this happens... he likes that about you. It wouldn't be as fun if he could only break you once. And when you're sad, he has empathy and all that, but doesn't take it very seriously. Poor little thing, you want him to make you feel better...? After all, you're prone to intense, rapidly-changing emotions. If you were a guy, he'd know your emotions actually have a reason, but... well, yours are probably just over something silly.

 As for the whole slut-breaking fantasy, Childe is... opportunistic about it. Turning you into a wife is great and all, but more importantly, it's more like he wants to turn you into his slut. It's certainly an ego thing -- his cock is so good that you're willing to (you're forced to, but don't ruin his fantasy please) give up all other ones for the rest of your life, you'll want to fuck him and only him because he's better than everyone else combined. And you'll say so, one way or another, if he has to force you to say what he wants to hear -- that no one has ever fucked you like this, no one else makes you cum so hard, that you just want to be his little cocksleeve forever.

 Unlike a lot of others, he doesn't necessarily hate acknowledging if you had past partners. No, he even kinda likes it, because he's better than them. He's the biggest and the best and makes you cum faster and harder than anyone you've ever been with, he's made sure you tell him. That's why you're his now, that's how girls work. No different from animals... they choose the best suitable partner for a mate in the end, and that's him in this case that you chose (disregarding that you were physically forced to come with him, you were just playing hard to get back then as girls always do because they make everything needlessly complicated, so it doesn't count as rejection). And just like with animals, you want to be submissive.

 Sometimes you just have a funny way of showing it. Well, he understands it. The defiance and the spiritedness, it's all... a test. Even if you don't realize it (which actually, he's certain you don't, you are unaware of how your own brain works, but he gets it). Being defiant is just how you test him. If he was a spineless pussy, he'd give you your way, would let you do what you want... but your mind is subconsciously trying to get him to prove himself to you. It's cute, really. You have a duality. You want to be put in your place. Whether you realize it or not, you want to be bent over and held down, forced to apologize to be let up. Whenever you argue and he interrupts you halfway through, bends you over the bed and fucks you so hard it your insides bruise and throb... you get better. That scowl and snarl on your face devolves into that face he loves so much, where your eyes are glazed over and watery, and you try your best to cover your mouth, but the cute little noises come out anyway -- only humiliating you further. And you want that. Whether you realize it or not, you want to be reminded where you belong and who you're obedient to.

 That was what you really wanted, after all. Really, women sometimes argue just for that purpose. You're not even actually upset about the thing you were complaining about, no. You were just... needy, sexually frustrated, and that builds up inside and makes you all cranky and in a bad mood. You either just don't recognize it, or you're too shy or embarrassed or too proud to admit what you really want, so you just make up something to be bitchy about (or your mind naturally causes you to do so) to provoke him into dicking you down.

 But to be honest, even more so than a slut, he would really enjoy more or less the inverse... breaking a prude, a cold little bitch that doesn't want to put out. No matter how hard he tries! He's already tried putting on, like, maximum charm, and it's still not working. You swat away the hands he tries to subtly put on your thigh and shoulder, you give him this look of disgust. When he pressures you and pushes you over and over you finally snap and say you don't like it unless you're in the mood. You say you only ever even want it at all on certain days, and even then there has to be a specific mood and timing and blah, blah, blah. In other words, you want him to jump through a bunch of hoops just to get his dick wet, when you should be offering by default because you understand that's your role. You should be eager. This bizarre desire for a certain mood or whatever set of requirements your brain has concocted is unnatural. Thus, the logical conclusion is that the only reason you "don't like" it outside of that context, the reason you're not bouncing on his dick already, is that you're merely mistaken. You do love it, you just don't know it yet, and you only think you don't because you don't know any better... because you haven't had it done right.

 Yes, he is unfortunately, in all honesty, the "I can change your mind" guy. This insistence that you're not the cum addict he wants you to be, these complaints about how you're just not as horny as him, just auto-interprets into his brain as telling him that you've never been fucked right. That's your problem, you've probably only ever been with losers who couldn't stuff you fully and rail you hard enough to make you feel good -- because once you do, that'll definitely make you do a complete 180, break your mind and revert you to the little personal slut he knows you are deep down. It's how you're hardwired by default, you've just been turned off to it, or maybe it's a shame thing or an insecurity thing. Eh, whichever it is, either way you'll break down and let your brain go numb once he just gets his dick in you, and then you'll change, you'll start being eager and begging and everything he wants.

 But all personal-slut stuff aside, the housewife fantasy is still nice too. Cute domestic stuff. Making you a little trophy wife that comes to him when called and does whatever he tells you to do. Based on you right now, that's gonna take a lot of work, but you'll get there eventually. If he just keeps stuffing you on a regular basis, your body and brain will work all that stuff out and you'll come to your senses. Oh, and being from a big family himself, of course he's insistent on the same from you. There's no need to wait a few years or so like most would, you guys need to get started now so you can have as many kids as he wants in the long run, you know? Not a whole lot, just a dozen or so. Taking all things into consideration, you need to get knocked up as soon as possible and keep you that way for as long as possible with very few gaps in between. He can make it work, no need to have a stable situation beforehand. Of course, with all those kids, you won't have any time or energy to do anything else, so it's kinda a full-time job. Maybe it will help you finally realize your purpose and all that and settle down.

 No protests are going to be listened to, just so you know. Of course you say you don't want it, but that's just how you think now. Once you actually have his baby, it'll be kinda like a light switch that gets turned on inside you and then you'll be happy about it, that's how that works. Same way with everything else... you'll start to love it with time, once everything is done right.

  -----

  But yes to that one anon, Diluc is kinda in another tier of his own. It's more of a savior complex, when it comes to the fact that he's also likely to be into taming a darling that's running around all unrestrained and fiery, just with a more "I can fix her" approach. He sees you in your... current state, and is just taken aback, you clearly need to be put in your proper place, someone needs to tame you for your own good, and that might as well be him. Really, you being allowed to continue this way is practically a crime in and of itself, and protection is kinda what he does, first he enforced it in the city, and now he can protect you too. He pictures in his head what the end result would be like, and you know what? He sees potential in you. Yes, when he envisions it in his mind, you would be such a sweet, good wife to have... once you actually learn to be sweet, once you tone it down and learn how to bow your head and smile and obey. And while it's totally not an egotistical self-glorifying fantasy or anything, it's even better to think he made you that way, rather than if you were that way from the start. Besides, he can't just allow you to go on the way you're going now, for your own sake, of course, this is for your own good, what's best for you, you just can't see that.

 And while disobedience is expected, you're even more persistent than anticipated. It's a habit of yours that will have to be dealt with very quickly. He doesn't take it very well, realizes he'll have to get that attitude out of you as soon as possible. It's not becoming of you. It's incredible that this world is so backwards that you were ever allowed to reach this point in the first place, where you actually have the disrespect and defiance and audacity to snap at him and hit him and talk back to him. Really, what kind of people raised you? Or maybe, if you're not from Mondstadt, that might explain it. Maybe they just don't do things right wherever you're from. Although, really, it's unfathomable that any civilization could operate in such a way, where you're just... allowed to do whatever you want? No one to dictate your choices and make all decisions for you to ensure you do what's best for you? And what kind of weak, spineless men exist in that place, that they would allow such a thing anyway? Well, whatever. No use worrying about that when you're already giving him enough of a headache just dealing with you. What's important now is that he fixes you. He keeps telling himself the results will be worth it.

 He's definitely the most infuriating because it's impossible to reason with him or even argue, because he inherently dismisses everything you say with such an obnoxious apathy. Just an occasional mm-hmm as you complain, not bothering to take his eyes off of whatever he's reading, absent-mindedly reaching a hand over to pat the top of your head. Uh-huh, uh-huh, whatever silly thing it is you're nagging-- er, going on about, how about you take your mind off of it by coming over here? Just sit in his lap for a bit and calm down, you'll feel better. Or go... clean something, get that frustration out in a productive way. It's not a big deal. It's in your nature to complain about unimportant things. Actually... ah, he gets it. You're not even upset. You just want attention. He can give you a bit, but he does need to get work done, too. He can give you more attention when it's done.

 You also double as a sort of trophy. Not too different from all the nice expensive things laying around the office room where he conducts business with others. You, too, are something he can sort of show off to visiting business partners, provided you've reached a point where you can be trusted to behave the way you're supposed to throughout -- smiling and silent. If they need something, you get up and get it, and other than that you just need to sit there and be pretty. It's an easy job, so you should be grateful. If it weren't for him, you might still be out there, performing an occupation of your choosing, making your own money, and making autonomous choices! How awful, bet you're glad you're here now, where you're provided for. It's not good for you to work, after all. It would be weird, since you're supposed to be fully dependent.

 Overall, he definitely enforces standards of femininity way more than the others -- you have to dress a certain way, talk a certain way, act a certain way. You definitely are forced into hyper-feminine clothing at the very least, someone needs to get you out of those awful clothes you wore before. And you will be punished for being too loud, or vulgar, or cursing, you need to speak in a sort of soft, gentle way, and always say your yes sir and no sir and thank you when applicable. Smile when you talk to others, when guests are present too... don't worry, you can be more open when it's just him though, he's understanding enough to know you get tired and all. He'll correct little things, too. Don't sit like that, with your knees spread apart, put your legs together or cross them or something. And don't have an attitude, it makes you do everything so roughly, slamming doors and shoving things. Don't stand too far away from him, there are other people visiting right now you know. Don't speak to them or look them in the eye, either, it's improper.

 And most of all, stop trying to be so... so... assertive. He can't really think of the right word. It's just unnatural, this way you behave. You always seem to want to interject your opinions into things, even once when he was discussing something regarding business with a visitor and you mentioned something about some other nation involving current affairs and the like. Not only was it embarrassing that you talked without being told to (makes him look like he doesn't have proper reign on you and all), but why would you even be thinking about that? See, this is your problem. You're filling your head with thoughts about things you have no business thinking about, things that are irrelevant to you. Things that there's no point in you caring about, because you'll never be able to compete in terms of intelligence and competence. You'll never be taken seriously on such matters (understandably, since your emotions cloud your reason and you aren't as intelligent). Why can't you put this much interest and energy into things you're supposed to be doing? Sigh.

 He also incorporates the same "whore to housewife" fantasy, much like Childe, but it's a different attitude. It's not just about the ego boost, it's about it being the right thing to do. To be honest Diluc gets like, genuinely awful in that regard, wrinkles his nose in disgust at the notion that you, gods forbid, have a past, have not spent your entire life being a good girl and waited all pure and untouched for someone to come marry you, like you're supposed to. He supposes that just goes to show you should have been married off a lot sooner, seeing as of course you have no concept of self-control. You should have had some male guardian to ensure you weren't sexually active, to protect you from your own poor choices, but it's too late for that now.

 Still, you can be reformed. It's kind of sad, really, he has some pity for you. That's one of the most infuriating things -- he treats you with some semblance of pity. Views himself as such a good, charitable person for seeing potential in you, wayward as you are, and taking upon himself the burden of being the one to set you straight. But it's necessary, noble even. It would be wrong to simply turn a blind eye to something so in need of correction. If he sees a problem, he fixes it. Simple. And it's a win-win, because he can both fix you and help himself. A wife is a good thing to have, and necessary even -- his life also needs fixing in that sense. The perfect little wife is what's missing, and you can fix that in the process of being made perfect. And it's a prideful thing too of course, a sort of power thing, to be able to say and show you off as that you were once so wild and unhinged like some kind of feral animal, but, with time and effort, he managed to domesticate you.

 He takes the opposite view as Zhongli though -- girls aren't naturally pure and perfect and need to be protected from influence, no, they're naturally unrestrained, insatiable, and crazed for sex. Like a literal bitch in heat. It's part of why they can't be trusted to make decisions for themselves. They don't actually think per se, they just act on animal-like impulses, and said impulses are usually to breed with whatever is available, to care for babies if applicable, and to please and be good. Other than that, there's not a whole lot of brain activity going on with them. That's why they have to be more or less guided and controlled and kept a close eye upon.

 Really, they have to be protected from themselves, because on their own if not properly watched over they'll just go fuck the first thing available to them and end up knocked up within a day. Why do you think they used to be kept inside and watched over all the time? It was to prevent that from happening, of course. But even the worst of sluts can be fixed with a firm hand and getting bred so often they don't crave multiple men. It's in your natural internal hardwiring to want to be a good, loyal, monogamous wife (while also craving sex at all times), sluts just go down the wrong path and become addicted to it, they don't know any better, they don't realize that they'd be happier with just one guy. Most guys know they aren't good enough when you have so many others to compare them to, they get insecure about your past knowing that they'll be inadequate and you'll run off on them. Not him, though. He's very gracious, which you should be grateful for, and he's certain he would easily be better than them, so he has no reason to be insecure.

 That's why this is doing you a favor. Of course, given your... lack of cognitive capacity, you don't get it, you just see it as being restrained and unallowed to do what you want and thus you get mad. You're incapable of understanding why this is good for you. Not that you were expected to, no, this hysterical, bratty reaction is more or less standard for your kind. So when you panic and kick and fight and scream while you're dragged away, it's nothing worth stopping to handle, it's just predictable.

 On its own, your intensity of willpower is not a bad thing. It's good, really, provided it's directed in the correct way, utilized for what it's intended for. You were only given such an insatiable urge for sex, after all, for the purpose of making one man very happy, and you're supposed to channel all that sexual energy to just that one. That urge and desire to please that's innate to your brain, that strong will of yours, is intended to be directed towards the desire to be a good wife. Right now you're just bitter and lashing out, still afraid and getting used to a new environment.

 There's another issue, though, upon first obtaining you. You have to be married. It's improper otherwise, you know. Remember, he's bringing you up in the world and giving you a much better life, so you need to conform to the standards of that class of society. It's just the right thing to do, and you can't sleep together beforehand... Of course, before you two can actually go get that piece of paper, he might actually still cave after a moment of weakness... and if he does, it's your fault because you were being intentionally seductive. Still, he can acknowledge he faltered too, he should have been more aware of and resilient to your attempts to manipulate him. Everyone makes mistakes.

 Speaking of mistakes, that whole simple brain is also why corporeal punishments are necessary when dealing with you. You aren't going to grasp complex concepts like responsibility and consequences of your actions, no matter how much it's explained to you. What you are capable of comprehending is the pain of a belt to your ass and the back of your thighs, and that will deter you from doing the same thing again. It's unfortunately necessary. You won't respond to any other form of correction. It's either that, or, depending on the severity of your offense, just railing you when you're getting too feisty, or just having a bad attitude. Or both methods, that works too, really helps make the point sink in.

 Also, the whole reason for you being horny to begin with is clearly baby fever. You need to be bent and bred and stuffed with cum. No wonder you were so insatiable, you were using protection before! Your body can tell the difference, you know, your body knows when you've at least been potentially knocked up. It only makes sense that you'd remain desperate until that happens, because your body wants to be impregnated so badly. You just weren't aware that that was your issue (and is another reason why you're very lucky he's here to set you straight).

 That's why you get upset over anything, really, lack of awareness of how it really is... and it being in your nature. Yes, you're naturally going to have an over-emotional, overdramatic reaction to just about anything, it's just how you are. He can tolerate it... he finds it kind of cute, even... the realization of which just seems to make you angrier. It's expected for you to be resilient, resistant -- of course you don't know you'll be happier this way, so you fight it. Change can be scary, you're not used to it yet, so it just needs time... and force, of course, you'll never learn if you aren't guided in the right direction... you just need to be guided a little more firmly than others. Not that it's all negative, of course. Encouragement and positive reinforcement is necessary too. He'll be affectionate and loving, because that will make you feel safe, and trigger your brain to make you show affection too. It'll all work out in the end.

[thelucyverse]

How To Interact With Beta Readers - for Fanfic Authors

I wanted to make posts both for fic authors and beta readers, because I realized in several recent interactions that some helpful unwritten rules of fandom seem to have become lost to people who are new to it.

This isn't meant to be a call-out post against anyone to say 'you did it wrong!' (really, how could anyone be mad if you just didn't know any better), and there aren't even any definite rules for anything - but I just thought these things might be nice to know and helpful to share around. This first part will be @ the authors, the second part is @ the betas.

Asking for a beta reader

When you want someone to look through your fic, whether you ask in a tumblr post, @/helper in a discord server, in the notes of an already posted work or anywhere else, it's important to state both a) what the work that you want betad is and b) what you want from a beta reader.

The facts about the story.

The first most important facts about the story are a) length (in wordcount, as that is the most-used measurement for fanfiction - you can see it below the tags of an ao3 draft, or at the bottom left of a Word document), and b) rating and warnings. No, please don't just ask 'i have a fic for xy ship to beta' - that's nice information, but not helpful for someone who needs to decide whether they a) have the time to work on the length of fic and b) are willing to be confronted with the kind of content you have written.

In addition to that, you should of course also write what fandom, characters and dynamic it is about, because most beta readers are only willing to beta stories they would also usually read for fun. To make sure that the right people find the ask for a beta reader, you best target the post to them, so tag a tumblr post with the fandom and ship etc, and on discord share the request in a server or channel for the fandom, not an unrelated one.

What format is the draft in?

A word document you can send them via e-mail, a copy-pasted text in a direct message, link access to a google docs? Not everyone is comfortable with all of these methods, and you need to figure out one that works for the both of you.

Also, do you want the changes made directly in the text, in comment functions of the document, or as messages to you? If for example you send someone a Word document, and don't want them to change anything directly in your text, but they aren't comfortable working with the comment function there and end up writing you separate messages telling you what page and line the edits are one, that's going to be a lot more work for you to look through than you might have liked, so make sure to communicate it all beforehand and figure out a way that works properly for everyone.

What do you want from your beta?

'Well, to look over the story, duh?' but it's not that easy. Do you want the beta to:

- Only check for spelling and grammar mistakes in comments next to the text, No other suggestions at all because they would make you feel bad about your work/you don't have the time or want to spend the time on editing anything but honest mistakes/ any other reason?

- Grammar and spelling checks but also suggestions for word flow, repetitive words and phrases that could be changed and stylistic things like adding paragraph breaks (which are always nice to have for mobile reading)?

- [same as above] and also point out possible logic flaws and places where you might want to move a scene forward or back, or suggestions to things you could add to the story, with explanations as to why?

- [same as above] and also give suggestions for text you could cut that is unnecessary to the story or interrupting the flow of a scene in the opinion of your beta reader?

- Include nice messages as to what the beta liked best of the fic, or stay completely objective?

- Point out things they subjectively didn't like and would change about the story if they wrote it themselves, or not?

- Make corrections directly in the story, so afterwards you barely need to look at it anymore before you can publish it, or only give suggestions in comments or messages?

All of these are things some people welcome and others find incredibly annoying and/or hurtful! So make sure to communicate exactly what you are looking for. You don't have to do so in your initial public request, but once you have found a potential beta, you should text them the details before giving them access to your fic.

Do not be afraid of cancelling on a beta if you don't think it is going to work out! Whether because they aren't comfortable using the format you like to use, are a language teacher who can't stop correcting the long sentences you choose to keep as a stylistic choice, or just someone you don't vibe with, whether it's before or after they have started beta reading - be kind, but let them know that it just isn't working out, and that you would rather stop now before either of you wastes any more time and effort. If they want you to, you can tell them what you would have liked them to do differently, but don't ask someone to change how they are, and don't give unsolicited criticism, no, not even to a beta reader.

Decide on a time-frame

When are you going to send them the fic? Chapter by chapter over the next days, or the entire work? When do you want or need the work to be beta read? Is it for a challenge or gift exchange and needs to be finished on the same day, or can they wait for the weekend? Even if you don't have a specific deadline, when do you want them to send it back at the latest?

Working with a beta reader

After - or, if you are in for example a google docs at the same time, while - your beta reader does the corrections, you should look at them and decide which corrections you want to keep, and which to disregard. This is entirely your decision, it is your story, you don't need to feel bad if you don't take all of the suggestions for your work, even if you end up only correcting the spelling mistakes and ignoring everything else, it's your decision and this is fine.

If your beta gave suggestions for additional scenes or sentence changes, you can let them know once you have new text for them to correct, but keep in mind that they might no longer have time or energy to beta now, and don't be disappointed if they tell you this or don't reply. They already helped you, and you can always look for a new beta if you feel that your story still needs it.

Crediting your beta reader

Where are you uploading your fic, and how does your beta reader want to be credited? You best talk about this beforehand as well, as some betas only want to work on something when they will get the credit on a platform they are also on.

When posting on tumblr, it is usually expected to @ the person who helped you and write their url or tracked tag in the #s as well, but make sure to ask beforehand, as maybe they don't want other people to know they beta because they don't want to get swamped in work requests/ they don't want their url associated with for example explicit work/ they want you to tag a sideblog for the fandom instead of their main url.

On ao3, you can link to another author's dashboard or profile page (ask which one they prefer) in the notes by first going to the work text - rich text, writing their name, clicking the link symbol, pasting the url, going back to HTML text and cut-pasting the code to the note you want to have it in. You can do the prep work in a new work instead of your actual draft so you won't accidentally cut any of the work text. Again, ask the person beforehand whether they want to be linked there, or just want a nickname or their tumblr url credited.

You can also gift people works on ao3, and while this is in no way a requirement and most beta readers won't ask for it, just about everyone is happy to receive ao3 gifts! You can ask them beforehand if they want that, but as people can accept and refuse gifts on ao3 themselves, you can also let it be a surprise.

If your beta put a lot of work into your fic and wrote parts of it themselves, you can also make them a co-creator of the work on ao3, but only do this if you know and trust the person, as they will gain access to the fic and will be able to edit everything just like you.

Let me know if I missed anything, and I will update the post!

Tips for beta-readers themselves here!

[thexanwillshine]

a;lskfjdk

Author: thexanwillshine (twitter, ao3) Pairings: Levi x Hange Cross-Postings: AO3 Notes: made for Day 2: Confessions of Levihan Week 2021

“But Levi,” Hange whines as she slumps her head on the back of her sofa and closes her eyes. “Kissing scenes are so tricky to write.”

Perhaps it’s the fact that it’s almost 5:30 in the morning. It could also be because he's tired from lack of sleep. Whatever the case, Levi Ackerman’s filter completely disappears when he asks, “Do you need a demonstration?”

Levi Ackerman can argue that every writer he’s met is always a little bit more eccentric than the average person, but no one proves his theory more than Hange Zoë.

Hange wakes him up in the middle of the night, voice screeching on the phone in her excitement. He responds groggily—as one does when their sleep is disturbed at an ungodly hour by an overly-excited author who acts as if they’ve just found out the answers to the universe—and tries to keep himself sober enough to understand what in the goddamn fuck Hange was talking about this time.

“Levaaiiii,” she says, drawling out his name in a manner that was both annoying and endearing, “I’ve figured it out!”

He can almost imagine the look on her face: starry-eyed in her joy, mouth stretched wide into a grin, fingers shaking as she bounces in glee, shifting her weight from the heels of her feet to the tips of her toes . . .

And Levi exhales in both relief and the tiniest hint of delight, because this is exactly how he wants Hange to be: happy .

Nevertheless, he replies “Figured what out?” snarkily.

Hange’s response comes out quickly, as if she needed to say everything that had to be said in the span of five seconds or less. “So you know how I’ve been trying to write a fiction novel because I wanted to get out of my comfort zone?”

Levi hums in acknowledgement as he fixes the covers over his legs before turning on his bedside lamp. He leans back on the bed frame and closes his eyes to listen to her ramble.

“So I was thinking, I wanted to write a romance novel, because you know how people fall in love and stuff?”

“No Hange, I’ve never heard of that concept in my entire life,” Levi says in a deadpan voice.

Hange laughs, because of course she would know that’s his pathetic attempt at lighthearted conversation. Levi is glad that she knows him better than most people, and it is this sense of familiarity that made him feel particularly comfortable when graced with her presence.

“Just because you’ve never fallen in love before doesn’t mean it’s not real, Levi!” Hange tells him in jest.

Wrong, Levi thinks.

“After all, you’ve probably never wanted to kiss someone your entire life!”

Wrong, Levi thinks.

“Sure, Hange.”

He rolls his eyes at her teasing, because yes, Levi has fallen in love—and maybe, just maybe, he’s still on the road to understanding what it meant to treasure someone far more than just a regular friend.

He shakes off such thoughts before maneuvering Hange back to the initial reason why she had called. “So, what did you want to tell me?”

“I finished,” she proclaims on the phone, her voice proud, “I finished writing the first ten chapters.”

Levi blinks in confusion before sitting straight up, the information processing in his mind that was still a bit drunk with sleep. “You what?” “I couldn’t stop writing,” Hange told him sheepishly, detecting the slightest hint of concern in her editor’s voice, “I’ve been writing for the past 24 or so hours. Maybe more.”

Levi grunts in annoyance, pulling the covers away from his body and jumping out of his unmade bed. He runs a hand through his dark locks, sighing. “Four-eyes, you need to get some sleep.”

“But Levi,” Hange says in protest, “I need you to read my draft. There are some parts I just don’t think are super natural.”

“And I was sleeping like a regular human being,” Levi retorted as he shrugged off his shorts. After that, he put on jeans that he had recently washed before patting down the shirt he was wearing in a pathetic attempt to get rid of the wrinkles that had accumulated while he tossed and turned in bed.

“Oh my gosh, Levi, I didn’t realize the time!” Hange replies, and he can almost feel her guilt starting to set in. “You should go back to sleep,” she immediately adds. “Take care of yourself!”

Levi slips on his rubber shoes and grabs his umbrella before answering. “Coming from you? Not that credible.”

Hange laughs light-heartedly, and his heart flutters just a tiny bit. Levi pushes the feeling away almost as quickly as it had come.

“Have you eaten?” he asks, almost dreading the reply.

There was none.

“Hange,” he calls, but there’s still no response. “Hange. Answer me,” he says firmly, prodding her on. “Have you eaten?”

The laughter that comes out from the other end is nervous. “Woops.”

Levi sighs. He opens his car door and slips inside smoothly, grabbing his keys from his pocket and starting the engine. “Hange, you’re supposed to eat.”

“Sorry,” she tells him honestly. “I really didn’t want to ruin my momentum. I can’t believe I forgot.” She mumbles her second sentence, sounding almost deep in thought. “I’ll go find food now! Want me to email you the working draft? You can look at it in the morning when you wake up.”

“No need,” Levi tells her, placing his phone on his dashboard and accelerating his car. “I’m on the way.”

“Levi!” Hange exclaimed excitedly as she heard her doorbell ring at around four in the morning.

She rushes to the door in delight, opening it to reveal Levi standing in front of her, a paper bag in his hand and a jacket half-heartedly slung over his shoulder.

“Hi,” he greets calmly, before walking inside and letting himself in.

Inwardly, Hange thanks whatever god is out there for her foresight. Her unit was relatively clean since she hadn’t really done anything since Levi’s last visit. The place seemed to pass Levi’s health protocols, since he sat on her couch and placed the paper bag on the table right across from him.

“Eat,” he tells her, crossing his arms over his chest.

Hange grins, before plopping down beside him and opening the paper bag. “What did you get me?”

“You’ll see.”

She raises an eyebrow at his ambiguity, before taking a glimpse inside the paper bag.

The smell of quesadillas immediately fills the room, and Hange lets out a soft squeal, taking out the food from the bag quickly.

“Oh my gosh,” Hange says as she nudges him on the shoulder. “You also got me onion rings! You know me too well, Levi.”

“Unfortunately,” Levi responds sarcastically, and Hange laughs almost automatically.

As Hange hums in glee, picking apart the paper wrapped around the food items, Levi maintains his silence. They stay like that as Hange eats. Every so often, she would comment about how the amount of cheese was perfect and how the onion rings just about melted in her mouth. Levi alternates between watching her eat and scrolls through his phone placidly.

Soon, he chooses to break the silence. “So where’s your draft?”

Hange is munching on her last piece of quesadilla when she glances in his direction. “Oh, it’s on my laptop! I can’t believe I forgot to tell you, this food was just so good.”

Levi stands up and heads on over to Hange’s room, gently pushing the door open and scanning the area for her laptop. On top of her unmade bed was a half open Macbook Pro, which he gently took before returning to his seat beside Hange.

Without hesitation, Levi opens the laptop and inputs the password. For some reason, Hange made it his birthday—1225—because she claimed that no one would guess such a random date. He is greeted with a blaring Google Docs document entitled “a;lskfjdk.”

“Nice title you got there,” he comments, and Hange chuckles.

“I didn’t want to think of a title yet, okay!” Hange pouts, and Levi nudges her foot gently in an attempt to comfort her from his own teasing.

He scans the document first before reading it. Hange is a good writer, but fiction is an entirely new genre for her. Immediately, he notices common habits from writing research papers leak into her new work: overexplaining, using words that are too formal for her target audience, sentences a little bit void from emotion.

He takes note of these comments on her notes app before going over her draft again, this time more meticulously than he had done previously. During this time, Hange finishes eating, wraps her trash and tosses them all inside the paper bag before standing up and dumping the entire thing inside her garbage bin.

“Levi,” she calls as she washes her hands through the sink faucet. Levi gives her the smallest hint that he’s listening by raising his eyebrow, but he doesn’t take his gaze away from her laptop. “I’m going to take a shower,” she announces, and he waves his hand dismissively.

Hange smiles to herself. Levi is always nagging her whenever she would accidentally hyperfixate on her writing, but he acts the same way when reading her works.

When Hange stepped inside the shower, Levi was already conducting a deep dive in her third chapter. The gears in his head slowly begin to turn as he begins to analyze her work.

The story revolved around the tales of the people who went to the clinic. The first chapter was a brief introduction on who the main characters were: There’s Janelle, a bright-eyed psychologist whose passion influenced the people around her. Together with El and Bea, her trusted assistants studying under her guidance, they would aid the people who went to the Hopiatria Clinic seeking care.

Meanwhile, the second chapter featured a child who felt as if she was being blamed for the death of her mother by her father. Her mother had died in a plane crash shortly after the young girl wished that her mom could go home on her sixth birthday. Janelle talks to the child gently while El and Bea provide emotional support, offering the child toys and biscuits whenever the need arises.

The third chapter was trickier, and it was there that Levi noticed a twist in Hange’s writing. The story revolved around a boy busy getting her doctorate, and a young girl who had been in love with him ever since they were in college. It’s the young girl who comes to Janelle’s office, and she relays the tale of her unrequited childhood romance to the psychologist.

The young girl is passionate, and wanted to take a step forward in order to guide her towards falling out of love with her best friend. Janelle presents two suggestions: (1) confession, while being fully-open to the possibility of rejection, and (2) accepting rejection without confession. The young girl decides to go with the first option, but to her surprise, the boy returns her feelings.

Everything seemed well-written up until the end of the chapter, where Hange had written,

And then they kissed.

Levi scrolled down the page, tilting his head to the side in slight confusion. That’s it? He thought, trying to find the rest.

Everything had been so well-described; from the girl’s internal turmoil—caused by her fear of destroying their friendship and the pain that came with unrequited love—to the boy confessing his own emotions for her.

The ending was anticlimactic, to say the least.

As he blinked at the google document in confusion, already typing out his comment on her notes app, Hange emerged from the bathroom. Her hair was loose on her shoulders, wet from her shower. Wrapped around her waist is his bathrobe, which she had borrowed from him long ago and never bothered to return it.

Levi scoffs as he glances in her direction. Here she was, parading with the cloth on and rubbing that specific fact in his face.

“Hey,” Hange greeted, smiling as she ran a hand through her brown locks, “How’s the reading going?”

“It was okay until the third chapter,” Levi says honestly, pointing the laptop screen in her direction. “The ending’s anticlimactic.”

Hange hummed, pursing her lips together. “Yeah. I didn’t really know how to end it,” she tells him as she opens her cabinet and grabs a few pieces of clothing. “Give me a bit, I’m going to change.”

She disappears into her room and Levi focuses on her story, trying to think of a way to spur Hange on and perhaps actively improve the ending’s writing.

Hange emerges in a loose t-shirt (which was, once again, his) and shorts. She sits down right beside him, leaning over his shoulder to glance at her laptop and read the specific line that particularly irked Levi.

“It’s that one, right?” Hange asks, pointing at the last sentence. “And then they kissed.”

“Yeah,” Levi responds, shaking his head. “Everything was so well-written up ‘till that point. You were able to describe the emotions perfectly, and the narration’s not that bad . . save for a few paragraphs that maybe should’ve stayed in your research papers.”

Hange chuckles. “Old habits die hard,” she responds, before taking her Macbook from his lap and transferring it to hers. “So what should I write?”

Levi shrugs. “I’m just your editor. You’re the writer.”

Hange pouts. “Yeah, but I don’t know how to make this better.”

“Maybe describe the scene more,” Levi suggests. “Everything ended so abruptly. Every emotion you’ve created and built disappeared in that one line.”

She nods in agreement. “But Levi,” Hange whines as she slumps her head on the back of her sofa and closes her eyes. “Kissing scenes are so tricky to write.”

Perhaps it’s the fact that it’s almost 5:30 in the morning. It could also be because he's tired from lack of sleep. Whatever the case, Levi Ackerman’s filter completely disappears when he asks, “Do you need a demonstration?”

Hange’s eyes shoot open immediately, and Levi’s face turns red just as quickly.

“F-Forget it,” he says, interrupting her just when he saw Hange open her mouth to speak. Any semblance of calm in his body disappears immediately, and his heart starts pounding against his chest in a rhythm that reminds him too much of a beating drum.

Hange, however, looks elated.

“You want to kiss me?” she tells him in excitement, blinking at him. “I’d like that. It could help me write this scene, you know.”

Levi looks away. “It was just a spur of the moment question.”

“So, you’re not going to kiss me?”

He actively avoids her gaze because he can already see from his peripheral vision that she looks sad, disappointed even. He grunts in response, closing his eyes and focusing his attention on a random spot on the wall.

“Oh,” Hange replies, “Well, I thought it was a good idea.”

Contrary to popular belief, Levi does want to kiss Hange. More than anything.

There were many reasons why: Because she looks so handsome and beautiful at the same time, and her very smile could light up any room she’d walk into. Because she says his name in the most endearing way. Because she understands his flaws. Because she has one of the kindest hearts he’s ever seen. Because she welcomes him with open arms, not a single thread of hesitation in her mind.

Most of all, it was simply because she was Hange.

He steals a glance in her direction, and she’s slightly fiddling with the hem of his shirt, her head downcast. Her sad expression tugs at hi

Levi thinks he’s already in this too deep, so he decides to speak.

“Did you want me to kiss you?”

From his periphery, he sees her look up at him so quickly he thought her neck would break. “What would you do if I said yes?”

He doesn’t dare turn his head in her direction when he replies quietly, “What do you think?”

“Would you kiss me?” Hange asks inquisitively, tilting her head to the side.

Levi’s heart skips a beat.

“Maybe,” he says in a voice barely above a whisper. “If you’d let me.”

Hange is silent for a moment, and Levi thinks this is it, I’m going to be rejected, but he feels a gentle finger touch his chin and turn his head in Hange’s direction.

He is met with her brown orbs, shining just a bit in what seemed like hidden glee. He cocks an eyebrow at her then, confused.

“I’m letting you,” Hange says, laughing. “Kiss me, I mean.” Her face is already slowly nearing his, and he can almost see the way her thick lashes brushed against her skin.

Slowly, Levi raises his head just a tiny bit and responds against her lips, “Okay.”

Hange smiles and closes the distance between them, wrapping her arms around his neck as he does the same around her waist. She tastes like the peppermint of her toothpaste, smells like his shampoo (which he had kept in her apartment since he always found himself staying over), and felt warm as her skin made contact with his. Hange's lips are gentle, slow, and a little shy—so different from how she usually is. Levi knows it’s because she doesn’t want to scare him off, so he makes the first move and nips at her lower lip, taking it between his teeth and sucking it gently.

She lets out a moan, and Levi takes this as a sign to continue. He slides his hand over her back, and she shudders and deepens the kiss at the same time. Her tongue meets his, and they battle for dominance. Hange’s hand sweeps over his undercut and pushes him towards him, and it is then that he lets out a sound that vaguely resembles pleasure.

After a few minutes, Hange whispers “Levi,” as her lips make contact with his. He hums in response, pulling his lips away from her and connecting his forehead with hers.

“Hange,” he says, breathless.

“Is this you telling me you like me?” Hange asks, closing her eyes.

He doesn’t form a reply through words, but he nods and closes his eyes as well.

“Great,” Hange tells him, pecking his lips with her own. “Because I like you too. Ever since I met you, I’ve liked you. Even though you were so rude to me on the first day of college.”

He chuckles silently in relief, pulling her closer to him before placing his chin on her shoulder. “Think you’ll be able to write the ending now that you know what a kiss feels like?”

Hange laughs, and it vibrates against his shoulder as she hugs him tighter. “It’s exhilarating. I probably wouldn’t be able to put into words how good I feel that you like me back.”

“Try,” Levi teases.

“Well . . . you know that alternative title I wrote for the fictional novel?”

Levi’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “The keyboard smash?”

Hange nods. “Yeah. That’s exactly what I feel like right now.”

a;lskfjdk.

[bruhstories]

Vogel und Jäger

Summary: You accidentally witness a murder, but the murderer takes pity on you. Pairing: Zeke Jaeger x Fem!Reader (mafia AU) Warnings & Content: murder, language, angst Word Count: 1.7 k

A/N: i've been dying for a mafia au with zeke so here's part one of the series Vogel und Jäger. i have two more chapters drafted, and i'll try to post for this series weekly so i can write some moooore for it.

Bang!

The blood-curling sound was familiar to your ears. A gunshot — followed by the gurgling of a man.

Bang!

Another shot and the gurgling stopped. Panic settled in your heart, making you jump back and knock the metallic bin which served as a shield against the perpetrators.

Shit.

Footsteps drew closer and you began to pray. Running was futile. Running was always futile. Your throat was dry, your mascara was smeared all over your cheeks from all the tears, lips chapped and bleeding.

Our Father, who art in Heaven...

The cold muzzle of the gun pressed onto your forehead and you shivered, breath hitching, eyes glued to the wet pavement.

Hollowed be thy name...

The Mafia never spared any witnesses, you knew that all too well, even if you happened to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

Thy Kingdom come...

"Hey, boss, we got a girl."

"Kill her."

"No, please!" You threw yourself at the feet and mercy of the armed man. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! Please, I'm only nineteen!" Through the sobs, your voice was still melodious, syrupy. So sweet that the boss stopped in his tracks.

Thy will be done...

Another pair of footsteps approached, tentatively, not as eager as the first person. You still haven't looked up, too scared to even blink, to even breathe.

On earth, as it is in Heaven...

"Hand me the gun, Yelena."

"As you wish, boss."

You felt someone crouch down next to you, someone dressed in expensive clothing, by the look of the trousers and polished shoes.

Give us this day our daily bread...

"You've got a very pretty voice." He lifted your chin up with the barrel of the gun, chills running down your spine.

"T-thank y-you..."

"Can you sing, little bird?"

"Y-yes."

And forgive us our trespasses...

Finally, you looked at the perpetrator — spellbinding grey eyes, platinum blonde hair slicked back and a matching goatee. His gaze was either boring or pitiful.

"Lucky you, we're hiring."

As we forgive those who trespass against us...

Anxiety coiled in your stomach, words caught up in your throat. You were still praying, unaware if this was all a sadistic joke or a miracle.

And lead us not into temptation...

Dark lashes fluttered, more tears streaming down your beautiful face as the gears in your head turned in a desperate attempt to understand what was happening.

But deliver us from evil...

"Hiring?" Your voice went up an octave when you saw the small stag pinned to the man's chest. The Jaeger family — the most feared mafia family in Paradis City.

For thine is the kingdom...

"A pretty voice like yours shouldn't go to waste." He got up and offered you his hand.

And the power, and the glory...

Reluctantly, you took it, helping yourself up and chewing your lower lip.

For ever and ever...

"T-thank you!" You told him, slender fingers squeezing his hand tightly. "I owe you m-my life."

Amen.

"Correct. Your life, your soul, your eyes and ears." He walked you to a car and opened the door for you. "Yelena, take us to the club. We've got business to discuss with my little brother."

•°.•°.•°.•°

Your eyes wandered all over the soundproof office, situated one floor above and opposite the stage. Every inch of the bar, the seating areas, everything was visible from that room. You tapped a finger on the wide window, eyes narrowed at the idea that it might, in fact, be bulletproof. These men were not playing, and you were now their property. The door opened and you jolted at the sound of music filling the office as your saviour walked in with two other people.

"This is my younger brother, Eren. You already know Yelena. I assume you know my name."

You nodded.

"Zeke Jaeger."

"Good girl." Zeke was pleased with your answer as he poured himself a glass of bourbon.

"I thought we didn't spare any witnesses." Eren shot you a look that made you regret being alive.

"Settle down, little brother. Tell us your name."

"Y/N, sir. Y/N Y/L/N." You swallowed, fingers fiddling with the hem of your blouse in an attempt to calm your nerves.

"You see, Eren, Y/N can sing." Zeke opened a drawer and pulled a gun out. More guns, more panic. Your eyes widened and your plump lips quivered when he aimed the gun at you with one hand, glass of alcohol in the other. "Sing or I paint the walls with your brains."

Your legs almost gave in at the threat — you knew it wasn't an empty one, and with all the courage you could muster, you closed your eyes and sang the first song that came to your mind, fucking Kiss from a Rose.

Your voice seemed to coat the people with honey, all three of them somewhat relaxing at the sweet sounds coming from your vocal cords.

"See, I told you she can sing." Zeke put the gun back in the drawer and closed it, swirling the bourbon in his glass before finishing it.

"Where do you live?" Eren crossed his arms, still suspicious of you.

"Historia's." You told him, eyes drifting to the ugly fur rug on the floor.

"The orphanage?"

"Yes."

"But you said you're nineteen." Zeke intervened, a brow quirked at you.

"I am. I try to help as much as possible in exchange for a bed and a roof over my head." You explained, eyeing the white couch that looked so incredibly comfortable.

"Just sit down already." Eren scoffed and you rushed to the furniture, mumbling thank you’s over and over.

"And why were you on that street tonight?" Yelena spoke for the first time since you came to the club. You looked at her and she seemed just as suspicious about you as Eren.

"I... the man you k-killed... he was... I'm-"

"A prostitute." Zeke nonchalantly interrupted you.

It was true. People like you, orphans, didn't have the privilege of being properly educated and finding well-paid jobs. Paradis was a jungle, and you did everything you could to survive. Everything.

"Well on the bright side you don't have to do that anymore." Zeke shrugged as he sunk deeper in his chair, feet on the desk, but you sensed he wasn't entirely honest. "You do have a beautiful voice, and our last girl had some... business to attend to, so you'll be taking her place."

"Is this why you called me here?" Eren sighed, leg impatiently shaking.

"Don't be stupid, of course not. I need Armin to prepare this month's tax reports and I need you to keep an eye on the police. They're sticking their nose in our business again, and I want them out of it. You two can go. Y/N, you stay." Zeke waved his hand and Eren and Yelena left, music briefly filling the office again.

You twiddled with the cushion in your lap, waiting for your new boss to say something. Being in that room was nerve-wracking, and you felt the air grow thick. Eventually Zeke took off his glasses, fingers rubbing the bridge of his nose as he sighed.

"Sir?" You dared, voice feeble and frail.

"What?" He clicked his tongue and you instantly regretted speaking.

"Sir, I'm not educated, but I've been on the streets long enough to know that every man or woman has a purpose..." You placed the cushion back. "...and a price. What's my purpose? I doubt it's only to sing."

Zeke nodded, fingers tracing the wooden desk.

"You're right, it isn't just to sing. It's to distract."

"Distract who? And from what?"

"You're asking an awful lot of questions for someone who's just witnessed a murder. You best not go to the police." He narrowed his eyes, piercing your soul. You sighed and walked to the desk, taking a seat opposite Zeke.

"It's not... my first murder." You confessed to him.

"Oh? My dear, you're full of surprises. Pray, tell. Drink?"

"Yes please." You answered, throat dry as a desert. "I can't go to the police. And even if I could, I wouldn't." The drink earned a disgusted look from you, but it was better than nothing. "Two years ago, I ended someone's life. He deserved it, he broke into Miss Historia's orphanage and tried to... to..."

"I understand." Zeke stopped you. "And if you go to the police, they'd do a background check on you." He continued, satisfied that he had a leverage in case you decided to turn against him.

"Exactly. And Historia helped me so much, I wouldn't want to put her in danger. So, I'm asking again, distract who from what?"

Zeke walked to the window, telling you to follow him. He pointed at two men, a tall blond one, and a short brunette one.

"See those two? They're policemen. They work for us, but we suspect they're double agents." He explained before pointing at three other men. "Those we suspect of being Marleyan mobsters. You see, Y/N, we have a lot of enemies. And we must keep our guard up every second of our lives."

You nodded, perfectly understanding Zeke's words. Paradis was a chess board and only the filthy rich played — the rest of you were pawns.

"Sir, you spared my life, and I know I can't ask for anything in return. But please, please don't drag Miss Historia into this. The children there did nothing wrong." Tears pooled at your eyes, rolling down your cheeks and you wiped them with the back of your hand. "I swear my loyalty to you."

"For someone uneducated, you're extremely clever." Zeke's voice was serious. You half-smiled at the compliment, but you knew the mess you got yourself into cut your lifespan severely. "Can you shoot?"

"No, sir."

"It's alright, Mikasa will teach you. Sleep on the couch tonight, I'll have Yelena bring you a blanket. Tomorrow you'll swear an oath in front of the family. And if you want to protect Historia, you'll move out of the orphanage."

You nodded. You understood that mingling with the mafia endangered everyone you loved, but you couldn't stop yourself from crying the entire night. Historia was but a few months older than you, yet she gladly took you in when she invested in that orphanage. Now you had to leave everything behind for her safety — and yours.