#i actually find this the most in character thing for them

[jonnywaistcoat]

What’s your opinion on the contrast between “silly” and “serious” spaces? Do you think people can have very serious interpretations about a genuine piece of media and also be goofy about it? I’m asking this particularly because I’ve seen people in the Magnus podcast fandoms fight about people “misinterpreting” characters you, Alex, and the many other authors have written. Are you okay with the blorbofication or do you really wish the media you’ve written would be “taken seriously” 100% of the time?

And follow up question, what do you think about the whole “it’s up to the reader (or in some cases, listener) to make their own conclusions and interpretations and that does not make them wrong”, versus the “it was written this way because the author intended it this way, and we should respect that” argument?

This is a question I've given a lot of thought over the years, to the point where I don't know how much I can respond without it becoming a literal essay. But I'll try.

My main principle for this stuff boils roughly down to: "The only incorrect way to respond to art is to try and police the responses of others." Art is an intensely subjective, personal thing, and I think a lot of online spaces that engage with media are somewhat antithetical to what is, to me, a key part of it, which is sitting alone with your response to a story, a character, a scene or an image and allowing yourself to explore it's effect on you. To feel your feelings and think about them in relation to the text.

Now, this is not to say that jokes and goofiness about a piece of art aren't fucking great. I love to watch The Thing and drink in the vibes or arctic desolation and paranoia, or think about the picture it paints of masculinity as a sublimely lonely thing where the most terrible threat is that of an imposed, alien intimacy. And that actually makes me laugh even more the jokey shitpost "Do you think the guys in The Thing ever explored each other's bodies? Yeah but watch out". Silly and serious don't have to be in opposition, and I often find the best jokes about a piece of media come from those who have really engaged with it.

And in terms of interpreting characters? Interpreting and responding to fictional characters is one of the key functions of stories. They're not real people, there is no objective truth to who they are or what they do or why they do it. They are artificial constructs and the life they are given is given by you, the reader/listener/viewer, etc. Your interpetation of them can't be wrong, because your interpretation of them is all that there is, they have no existence outside of that.

And obviously your interpretation will be different to other people's, because your brain, your life, your associations - the building blocks from which the voices you hear on a podcast become realised people in your mind - are entirely your own. Thus you cannot say anyone else's is wrong. You can say "That's not how it came across to me" or "I have a very different reading of that character", but that's it. I suppose if someone is fundamentally missing something (like saying "x character would never use violence" when x character strangles a man to death in chapter 4) you could say "I think that's a significant misreading of the text", but that's only to be reserved for if you have the evidence to back it up and are feeling really savage.

I think this is one of the things that saddens me a bit about some aspects of fandom culture - it has a tendency to police or standardise responses or interpretations, turning them from personal experiences to be explored into public takes to be argued over. It also has the occasional moralistic strain, and if there's one thing I wish I could carve in stone on every fan space it's that Your Responses to a Piece of Art Carry No Intrinsic Moral Weight.

As for authorial intention, that's a simpler one: who gives a shit? Even the author doesn't know their own intentions half the time. There is intentionality there, of course, but often it's a chaotic and shifting mix of theme and story and character which rarely sticks in the mind in the exact form it had during writing. If you ask me what my intention was in a scene from five years ago, I'll give you an answer, but it will be my own current interpretation of a half-remembered thing, altered and warped by my own changing relationship to the work and five years of consideration and change within myself. Or I might not remember at all and just have a guess. And I'm a best case scenario because I'm still alive. Thinking about a writers possible or stated intentions is interesting and can often lead to some compelling discussion or examination, but to try and hold it up as any sort of "truth" is, to my mind, deeply misguided.

Authorial statements can provide interesting context to a work, or suggest possible readings, but they have no actual transformative effect on the text. If an author says of a book that they always imagined y character being black, despite it never being mentioned in the text, that's interesting - what happens if we read that character as black? How does it change our responses to the that character actions and position? How does it affect the wider themes and story? It doesn't, however, actually make y character black because in the text itself their race remains nonspecific. The author lost the ability to make that change the moment it was published. It's not solely theirs anymore.

So yeah, that was a fuckin essay. In conclusion, serious and silly are both good, but serious does not mean yelling at other people about "misinterpretations", it means sitting with your personal explorations of a piece of art. All interpretations are valid unless they've legitimately missed a major part of the text (and even then they're still valid interpretations of whatever incomplete or odd version of the text exists inside that person's brain). Authorial intent is interesting to think about but ultimately unknowable, untrustworthy and certainly not a source of truth. Phew.

Oh, and blorbofication is fine, though it does to my mind sometimes pair with a certain shallowness to one's exploration of the work in question.

[naughtyneganjdm]

Man for Hire

Summary: Eager to lose your virginity, you hire Negan who is a male escort to help you with your problem.

Characters: Negan & the reader (OC, second person)

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55642924

Warnings: 18+, Swearing, Smut, Little To No Plot, Daddy Kink, Unprotected P in V, Oral, No Use of Y/N, etc.

Notes: This is the first thing I've been able to write in a long time because school and work have been taking up most of time. This is really just a filthy one shot. I almost considered making this a short story for a while, but then decided to go with a one shot because...why not? (gif credit: @jdmorganz)

What the fuck were you doing here? That was really the question. The silence was eating away at you. Your heart was hammering inside of your chest and you were nervous. You’d never done something like this before. And you were starting to second guess your decision in making such a bold move.

Looking to the time, you felt the lump in your throat growing and your nerves heightened once you saw how close to the time you were waiting for actually was. This was so outside of your comfort zone. Spending money on something like this just didn’t seem logical in the end. Here you were sitting in the middle of an expensive suite at a very nice hotel in the middle of the city. The sights were beautiful and you were enjoying yourself, but the reason you were here is what had you so nervous.

Truth was? You were meeting someone. Well, kind of. You were paying someone to meet you here. Which was complicated in itself. If people were to find out that you were doing this, it would be hard to explain. At the end of the day, it was something that your best friend had convinced you would be good for you. You were in your early twenties and you were still a virgin. It wasn’t something that you originally felt bad about, but it always made things complicated when you went to date someone. There was always that stigma there of being a virgin. And you were never really comfortable enough to tell someone you were dating that you were one. There was also no one you ever felt comfortable enough with to actually have them take it. Sure, you’d fooled around with a few people, but you never actually followed through with all of it. You were just always so busy working and going to school that you never felt the need for sex. Now that you were older, well, it felt awkward being the only virgin that you knew. It was an embarrassing thing, so the only person who really knew at the time was your best friend. Who convinced you it would be for the best if you hired a professional to help you out with your ‘problem’. That way there was no judgement, it would be done by someone who should know what they were doing and you could hand pick who you wanted it to be. You wouldn’t have to worry about the dating process, you could just have sex and that would be that.

It's just the closer you got to everything, the more pathetic you felt. Your friend had found a couple of sites for you that you looked at together. Then you found one that you felt comfortable with and connected with the woman in charge. The woman was very personable, but straight to business. She sent you a list of men that would be available for you. She had asked you for some details and you were honest with her as to why you were doing this. There was no reason not to be.

After taking some time to look through your choices, you came to a profile that you ended up being immediately enchanted with. Negan. There were a lot of younger, muscular men that they were trying to sell, but you had always been attracted to men older than you. But from the first photo you were immediately drawn to the chiseled jawline of the man sitting on a motorcycle. He was wearing a leather jacket that was opened to reveal a gray Henley that laid underneath. A pair of worn-down leather jeans and black sunglasses. From the confident smile to his salt and pepper colored beard you were hooked instantly. Every photo you saw only drew you further in. In other photos his incredible dimples and gorgeous hazel eyes made you more confident that this would be your choice. Even the tattoos that covered his body made him more attractive to you. This was a man that would have caught your attention immediately if you saw him on the street. To say you were attracted to him would be an understatement.

After looking through the rest of the profiles that you were sent, you returned back to the woman that was in charge with the name that you wanted. At first, she tried to convince you to go with someone else. Even though she admitted Negan was one of their most popular escorts, she tried to give you other suggestions of who she thought would be better for your certain situation. A lot of them were the younger ‘cuter’ boys, but cute wasn’t exactly what you wanted. Once she realized that she wouldn’t be able to convince you otherwise, she agreed and set up this meeting. Negan was more expensive and the prices varied by the amount of time you wanted. Two hours, four hours or the overnight rate. You really thought two hours would be plenty enough, but your friend convinced you to get the whole night. You didn’t know why. You were just going to have sex with this guy and be over with it. Having him there with you afterwards would only make things awkward. You couldn’t change your mind now though. You already paid.

A knock on the door to your hotel room pulled you from your thoughts. It jumpstarted your heart in your chest and you felt incredibly nervous now. Standing up from where you were seated, you adjusted the material of the tight fitting black dress that you were wearing. Making your way over to the door, you nervously outstretched your hand to turn the doorknob and felt the breath leave your lungs when you pulled it open. Leaning against the doorframe stood the man from the profile, his hazel eyes looking over you curiously. A charming smirk tugged at his lips while he gazed over you. What he was wearing actually surprised you. It was a bit different from the photos in his profile, but you didn’t hate it. He was well groomed, his body donned in a very expensive looking black suit that was only buttoned in the middle drawing your eyes to the white button down that was underneath. The first few buttons of his shirt were undone revealing the thick curls of hair over the center of his naked chest.  

You were so distracted taking all of him in, that you missed when he said your name. Speaking louder, the tone of his deep, raspy voice sent chills down your spine. In his right hand, he had a single red rose and outstretched his hand to you when he finally got your eyes to lock with his.

“Can I come in?” he questioned, his nose wrinkling in amusement when he realized you must have been gawking at him. God, you must have looked like a fool just standing there in the doorway staring. Pushing the door open, you allowed him into the suite and accepted the rose when he stepped before you.

“Thank you. This is very sweet,” you commented on the gesture knowing that you were expecting a much different scenario than this one. Closing the door behind you, you noticed that he was standing rather close to you and it made a breath catch in your throat. Fuck. That’s when you noticed the smell of his cologne. It smelled amazing and only made him even more attractive. How was that even possible? Stepping forward, his hazel eyes stared down at you and it made you feel incredibly hot with how close he was.

Lowering down, the warmth of his breath lingered over your lips before he pressed a kiss over the side of your face. It drew your eyes to close, your lips parting when the kiss lingered and when they opened again, you could see him pulling back with a big smile over his face. The dimples were even sexier in person. Suddenly, you weren’t regretting your decision so much.

“You look gorgeous,” he started off, immediately complimenting you nodding toward the dress that you were wearing. “That dress looks really nice on you.”

“And look at you,” you waved your hand about pointing toward what he was wearing. “You look really sharp. I wasn’t expecting this whole getup with you showing up today.”

“Oh? This old thing,” Negan smirked, unhooking the button of the suit jacket before pushing his hands into his pockets and shrugging his shoulders. “Let’s just say the woman in charge thought it would be a nice touch considering everything.”

“Oh, so you know?” you paused realizing that of course he knew that you were a virgin. He would have to know since that’s why you were doing this whole thing to begin with. “You probably think I’m a loser.”

“Why would I think that?” his eyebrows furrowed, a muscle in his jaw flexing when he tipped his head to the side. “Every person’s situation is different. Who the fuck am I to judge? That’s not my job to judge.”

“And what is your job exactly?” you spoke quietly and he snickered. God that was stupid. “I mean, I know you’re an escort. I just, should I call you Negan? I don’t even know if that is your real name. It’s probably not, right?”

“No, that’s my real name,” he admitted with a bob of his head, dragging his tongue across his bottom lip in a confident sweep. “I probably should use a fake name considering the job, but I like being authentically me. And to answer your question, my job is different for everyone. It’s my job to find out what someone needs so I can give it to them.”  

“Smooth,” you outstretched your hand to his which he accepted and followed you over to the couch. First, he helped you sit before taking a seat next to you. A chill flooded through your veins. You understood why Negan was one of their most popular escorts. He was in here a few minutes and you were already ready to jump him. Setting the rose down on the coffee table before you, you turned toward him and felt bold in the moment. “I don’t know what we’re supposed to do here Negan. I’ve never done something like this before. Obviously.”

“What do you want to do? You have me for the whole night,” he reminded you, outstretching his hand to push a piece of hair out of your face. Sweeping his thumb in over your jawline had you leaning into the warmth of him with your eyes fluttering to a close. “Did you want to go out for a night out on the town? Do you just want to hang out? Or…we can just jump right into things.”

“You mean sex?” you blurt out probably too fast which had him smirking and bobbing his head.

“That is what I mean, yes,” Negan’s deep voice rumbled with him sliding in closer to you. His arm hooked around the back of you with the warmth of his breath hovering over your bare shoulder. Suddenly the smell of his cologne filtered through your lungs. Desire overtook you and you had to keep yourself from throwing yourself at him right then and there. A minty scent also fell from his lips from a gum that he undoubtedly had been chewing on before he had showed up. “It’s all up to you what you want. What your fantasy is.”

As he spoke, Negan’s head lowered closer to the crook of your neck. Nuzzling his nose in against your flesh had you sucking in a sharp breath of air which was followed by him depositing a faint kiss over your neck.

“I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but do you think we can talk first?” you wondered standing up from the couch which seemed to surprise Negan a bit, but he nodded as you headed over toward the bottles of alcohol that were in the corner of the room. You should have just jumped him right then and there, but your nerves were getting the best of you. “Do you want some bourbon?”

“I’m more of a gin guy,” he responded, standing up from the couch when you looked through the bottles and pulled something out that you thought he would like. “Is everything okay?”

“You want me to be honest?” you spoke faintly while you poured both him and you a drink hoping that it would help settle your nerves. With a nod of his head, Negan smirked and stood by the window to look down at the city beneath you. The bright colors were reflecting on the walls and he seemed to be in awe of the lights. Stepping in beside him, you held out the drink you got for him which he accepted, with his fingers brushing up against yours. “I’m starting to regret doing this.”

“Am I not what you expected?” suddenly he seemed almost offended, clutching the glass tightly in his hands when he turned to look at you. “I told Michonne that I should have just warn what I usually do because…”

“No, you’re perfect,” you immediately interrupted him, placing your hand over the center of his chest to get him to focus on you. “God, you are fucking gorgeous. And that’s the thing. You are this beautiful man and I’m a virgin that you are going to have sex with. I’m probably going to be awful and…”

“Oh,” an amused chuckle fell from Negan’s lips when he took a sip of the drink, his free hand placing in over yours to give it a firm squeeze. Swallowing down the sip, he looked to you and shook his head. “You don’t have to worry about that. Please don’t. It’s not something to worry about. People who have sex all the time sometimes aren’t even that good. Plus, my job is to make everything perfect for you. Whether we have sex or not. Don’t let the expectations of sex distract you and make you nervous. I’m a very chill fucking guy. You’ll walk away with a good experience by the morning, I promise you that.”

“Cocky,” you smirked, throwing back your drink in hopes it would give you some liquid courage. “I like it.”

“I just know I’m good at my job,” Negan assured you with a wink, finishing off his drink and setting the glass down, taking yours as well. Urging you back to the couch, he sat you down and took your hands in his when he lowered beside you. “I get the feeling you’d like us to get more comfortable with one another, so we will just talk for a while if that’s what you want. Or we can go out.”

“We can talk,” you were impressed with the way he was attempting to calm you down with the rough pad of his thumbs sweeping over the back of your hands. “Michonne tells me that you are one of her top escorts.”

“I told you, I’m good at my job,” Negan winked, his dimples becoming more prominent when he smiled and it took your breath away.

“So you must be really good at sex?” you suggested and it made him smirk again. You probably sounded really stupid right now, but you were curious.

“That and I’m the best at making people feel good. Not everyone that wants to have an escort wants sex. They want to feel special. They want to feel like the center of the universe and I’m good at that. I excel at reading people,” he explained, curling his finger underneath your chin to get you to tip your head back to look at him. With his eyes hooked on yours, you felt exactly the way that he described. Like the center of the world. “Some people are just looking for companionship. And I’m able to give that to them.”

“Fuck,” you exhaled with how close he was to you. Personal space wasn’t something that existed with Negan, but he was right. He was good at his job. “You know, Michonne tried to persuade me to get someone else instead of you. I’m curious as to why.”

“Well, she’s not exactly my biggest fan. Her husband and I have never really been able to get along,” he expressed with a wicked smirk, shrugging his shoulders when he spoke. “When people look at me, they assume that I wouldn’t be a good choice to take someone’s virginity.”

“She wanted me to pick someone like Siddiq,” you explained and Negan scoffed at your response. It felt like he was getting closer to you if that was even possible. “Thing is, I don’t want boyishly cute men.”

“Of course you don’t and you made a good choice,” Negan hushed you, his eyes now focused on your lips which had you frozen in the moment. The rough pad of his thumb drew across your bottom lip and it had you leaning in closer to him. “You want a man to take care of you. Because older men know what’s best. They do it better. And I’ll take really good care of you.”

After the final word left his lips, Negan’s lips hovered in over yours drawing your eyelashes to flutter to a close. Claiming your lips in a faint kiss had you leaning in closer to him. Your body’s reaction to him was almost instinctive when you started kissing him back. The sensation of his fingertips sliding in over the small of your back was felt urging you in closer to him. Every caress of his lips ignited the fire inside of you more for him with the rough sensation of his short beard at your flesh.

Pulling away, Negan’s eyes were closed and he was smirking when his long eyelashes fluttered to an open, “You’re a special one. I can tell.”

“I’m sure you say that to all the people you see,” you commented with a half-smile, finding yourself wanting him to kiss you again with the way he was touching your face.

“We could work on your confidence though,” Negan hushed you, bringing you to him again so he could nip at your bottom lip. Giving it a gentle tug, he flicked the tip of his tongue out over the inside of your bottom lip making you purr. “You are a beautiful, charming, young woman. You could have given your virginity to anyone, and you picked me.”

Instead of responding, you leaned in to desperately bring your lips together again with Negan humming. When his lips parted, you brushed your tongue against his which had him sucking faintly at your tongue when you pulled back. The more you kissed, the more intense it seemed to get with his large palm sliding up over your side.

Hooking your fingers into his dark hair, you tugged firmly at it which had him growling out against your lips. With his tongue flicking out over yours, you found a sense of confidence in stroking your fingers over the center of his chest to tease at the thick curls of hair that covered it. Lifting your hands, you started to open the buttons in Negan’s shirt, eager to see more of him and he didn’t seem bothered by it at all. Instead, his lips just trailed off over your jawline, over the side of your neck and to your shoulder to push at the strap of your dress to get it down over your arm to kiss at the flesh that was there.

Tipping your head back, your eyes connected with his when you got the last button undone and pushed apart the material of his shirt. Palming up and over the center of his abdomen toward his chest, you were in awe of his slender form. His lips were parted, his breathing heavy while you learned the lines of his body. Tracing your fingertips over the detailed tattoo over his pectoral muscle, you didn’t know how you were going to get away with this whole thing considering you were already addicted to this man and you barely knew him. Pushing into his chest, you got him to slide back so you could crawl in over his lap. Looking up at you, you agreed that he was good at his job because he had the look of absolute want in his eyes with you over him.

“You are so fucking gorgeous,” Negan slurred, lifting up to hungrily kiss at the side of your neck, reaching for the other strap of your dress to tug at it. With a grunt, Negan tugged at the material getting it pulled down your body to about your navel which revealed your breasts to him with a bounce. It had him tipping back to look you over with his adoration in his eyes. A wicked smirk tugged at his handsome features when he tipped his head down to start peppering kisses in over your collar bone. Hooking your fingers into his hair, you tipped your head back with his wet kisses covering the swell of your breast. Surrounding your nipple with the warmth of his mouth had your head tipping back with a moan. Sounds of his wet kisses surrounded you, his hands squeezing firmly at your hips. There was no questioning that Negan was very dominant in the way that Negan touched and kissed you, but you liked it.

With a swirl of his tongue over your nipple, he nipped at the sensitive flesh before trailing his kisses over to your other breast where he pampered it just the same. Yanking firmly on his hair, you had him staring up at you with his dilated pupils which took your breath away. Stealing a forceful kiss from his lips had him moaning. You two were just jumping right in, but it felt right in the way that it was happening. Negan’s fingers had dropped to squeeze at the back of your thighs to caress the flesh that was there. Sliding further up, he cupped your bottom under the material of your dress and gave it a firm squeeze.

“You don’t kiss like a virgin,” Negan growled, smacking firmly over your bottom eliciting a gasp followed by a moan from you. Staring over your body, his eyes focused in over your breasts and he sucked at his bottom lip.

“How do virgins kiss?” you wondered, dragging your fingers across his wet bottom lip. A snicker fell from his lips before he took one of your fingertips into his mouth. Nibbling faintly at the tip, he followed by flicking his tongue out against it making you purr.

“For the most part? They are shy? Timid,” he slurred, lifting up enough to hover his lips just in over yours. “Inside of you is a dirty girl just waiting to break free from the restraints you put on her.”

“Maybe you can help her break free,” you whispered, caressing over his chiseled jawline and it had him leaning in closer to you. A growl fell from deep within him when you teased the tip of your tongue over his lips and he reached to pull you in closer to him so he could claim your lips again in a hungry kiss. The taste of him was addictive. The more you had of him, the more you wanted him. Your blood was pumping through your veins with your heartbeat hammering inside of your chest. A flush went to your face and a warmth was flooding to your core.

Confidence overtook you and gradually you ground yourself down over Negan. Dropping his head back against the couch, his hands slid down over your hips while you took your time rubbing up against him enjoying the friction that it caused between the two of you. Beneath the material of his pants, the firmness of his masculinity was growing harder and you could feel it pressed against your bottom. It felt good and by the sounds he was making, he approved.

“Good girl. I think we’re breaking down the walls pretty fucking quickly here,” Negan insisted, the vibration of his words against your flesh causing you to moan. Dragging your palms down over the center of his chest toward his lower abdomen had a sharp exhale falling from his throat. His eyes were still locked on yours when you dragged your fingers across the belt in his pants. Lifting his hips, Negan attempted to help you when you started to pull the belt out of the loops. Tugging at the material had a rumble of an amused sound escaping him. Dragging his thumb across your bottom lip sent chills throughout your veins. “Y’know what you want now darlin’, don’t you?”

“Yes sir,” you replied with a smirk when you started working open the material of his pants. How this man looked at you took your breath away. Curling your fingers at the waistband of his pants, he lifted his hips up to help you get the material down his slender body. A surprised breath fell from your parted lips with the way his erection smacked up against his lower abdomen. Licking your lips, you stare lifted to his eyes. Arrogance flooded his features when a crack of a smile tugged at his lips. “And suddenly I see why Michonne suggested someone else for my first time.”

“Does that mean you don’t think you can take it?” he inquired, his right eyebrow arching in curiosity with you reaching down to trace your fingertips over the underside of the shaft. Just the mere touch had his cock twitching and he bit down on his bottom lip.

“I’ve never been one to back down from a big challenge,” you responded and with a bob of his head, Negan seemed proud of you. Teasing your fingertips from just under the head of his cock down toward the base had him licking his lips in a seductive sweep.

“Thatta girl,” Negan snickered with your fingers curling around his shaft, drawing his hips to bounce up toward your grasp. Sliding in further over his lap, you took your time caressing over his body appreciating the way his eyelids grew heavy with lust. Your thumb swept over the ridge of the tip of his cock and he growled out. “I promise you, you’re gonna love what he’s gonna do for you.”

“I’m not scared of him,” you assured him with a wink enjoying the amused sound that escape his lips before his deep, raspy moan followed. Kissing down over his jawline, you took your time pampering his body knowing that while this was technically meant to be about you, you wanted to cherish the perfect specimen of the man beneath you. Nipping faintly at the side of his neck had him hissing out while you pushed his shirt further apart to reveal his chest to you. Adjusting your positioning over him, you started to kiss down over his collarbone and over the center of his chest. Lifting your palms, you stroked your fingers through the dark curls of hair over his chest and swallowed down hard. “You are fucking gorgeous.”

“I was thinking the same thing about you,” he clicked his tongue at the top of his mouth, humming out again when you leaned forward to kiss over the center of his chest. Your kisses tampered off over his nipple appreciating the moan you got when you circled your tongue around the flesh. Whimpering out, it was almost hard to focus when Negan’s palm flattened out between your thighs to caress over the warmth of your body. It had your hips arching in closer to him when you sucked faintly at Negan’s skin. “You are so fucking wet already.”

It surprised him when you pulled away from him and moved so that you were sitting beside him. Lowering your upper half, you pressed tiny kisses over his abdomen and toward the v line over his hips leaving his flesh with hot wet kisses. Purring out, you felt Negan’s fingers caressing over your shoulders and toward your neck with your kisses lowering down. Sinking his fingers into your hair had you mewling out. You liked how it felt like he was being possessive with you. Delicately wrapping your fingers around the thick base of Negan’s cock, you stroked over it a few times before pressing a faint kiss at the tip. It had him growling out and you loved the sound it drew from him. Dragging your tongue across the tip made you purr out when his fingers grasped tighter to your hair.

Flattening your tongue out over the tip collected the taste of him on your tongue. Focusing heavily on the teasing aspect of it all, you pressed hot, open-mouthed kisses over his lengthy erection causing his breathing to grow louder. By the time you finally took him between your parted lips, it drew the most intoxicating moan from him. With his girthy length, you were doing your best to pleasure him to the best of your ability, working to jerk him off at the same time while bobbing your head over his length. The strength of Negan’s hand at the back of your head also helped set a steady pace that you were comfortable with.

Once you seemed to have a handle on things, you felt Negan’s palm sliding down over your shoulders, over your back before extending out over your bottom to give it a firm squeeze. Another smack over your flesh had you moaning around his cock. It had him twitching beneath you. The wet sounded of your mouth filled the quiet hotel room. Pulling away with a wet sound, you stroked your hand over his body when you lifted your stare to see that he was watching you with awe.

“Lay back,” Negan instructed, getting up from the couch with his hard cock bobbing with the movement. Carefully pulling off his jacket, he set it on the back of the couch and eagerly slid out of his button-down shirt. Tossing it with the jacket, Negan took his time to shimmy out of his pants after managing to pull his boots off. Snapping his fingers, you obeyed his order when you carefully lowered yourself back against the couch. Your heart was hammering in your chest when Negan grabbed a tight hold of the material of your dress to get it down your body leaving you laying stretched out on the couch in just your black panties. Getting to his knees, he hooked his fingers loosely into your panties, urging you to lift your hips with the tug of them. “How did you know black was my favorite color?”

“Lucky I guess,” you whispered, a tingling sensation at your skin with the way that he was looking over you as he unhurriedly pulled the material from your body. Tossing the material aside, Negan brought your leg up depositing a gentle kiss over the inside of your ankle with his eyes locked on you. Gradually, his kisses raised further up your leg having you a breathless mess when he got to your knee.

“If you’re ever uncomfortable, just let me know,” he slurred, nipping faintly at your flesh before lowering down onto the couch getting himself comfortable between your thighs. Curling his arms around your thighs and under your hips, Negan pulled you in closer to him getting a gasp from you and it made him smile. “You have a very pretty pussy. It’s a shame you haven’t been letting someone pamper it like it deserves.”

Reaching up, the roughness of the pad of his thumbs traced a line over your sensitive folds and it had you dropping your head back, biting down on your bottom lip with a mewl. Down his fingers went over the lips, toward your entrance before circling back to go up and sweeping over your clitoris. It had you panting, his eyes watching you closely to see how you responded to things.

“Good girl,” Negan hummed, lifting his fingers up to suck faintly at the tips. “Daddy is gonna take real good care of you.”

Hearing him refer to himself as daddy sent a jolt straight to your core and you purred out, your hips arching up toward him with him releasing a sound of approval. Doing the same dance over your sensitive flesh, Negan started to pepper kisses over the inside of your thigh. Your breath was hitching in your throat and you wanted to tip your head back, but you couldn’t. You wanted to watch the beautiful man between your thighs that was there solely aiming to do nothing but please you.

Each kiss grew closer until the wet sounds of him kissing over your heated flesh was heard. Licking your lips, something that resembled a whine fell from them and he smiled against your flesh. Dragging out his tongue, he flattened it over the length of your folds dragging it from your entrance which had you tremoring upon contact up to your clitoris where his tongue circled before back again.

It was about learning your body and Negan was doing just that. Paying close attention to everything that made you react. With his lips surrounding your clitoris you found the cries that fell from you involuntary. Each sound you made seemed to fuel him only enhancing the sensation of what he was doing. And by the sounds he was making against your flesh? He seemed to be enjoying himself just as much, finding pleasure in the sounds he could draw from you.

Grunting out, he pushed into your thighs to lift your hips in closer to him. Dropping your fingers down, you hooked them into his dark hair when you felt his tongue circling your entrance before dipping inside of you with a strong sweep. Cooing out, you tugged firmly at his hair having him groan against your most sacred parts. A wet sound filled the air when Negan pulled back away from your body, licking at his wet lips.

Adjusting his body, he hooked his arm around one of your thighs while his free hand lifted to drag his fingers over your sensitive bundle of nerves. Sliding them down, Negan lifted his head when his middle finger circled over your entrance. Tipping your head back against the couch, you whimpered when he took his time pressing his long slender digit inside of you. A raspy moan fell from his throat when he felt the warmth of your body surround his finger and it made him smile.

“You okay?” he confirmed pressing a wet kiss at the inside of your thigh, leaving a tiny nip at your flesh when he pulled back. Nodding, you didn’t have much that you could say because you were so focused on the sensation. When he had the okay that you were comfortable enough, he started to drag his finger back before pressing forward into your body again. Biting down onto your bottom lip, you whimpered as Negan’s lips surrounded your clitoris sucking at the sensitive nub. Every part of you felt hot. He was taking his time with you, not trying to rush things and he was doing a hell of a job with it. Your body was already trembling and he knew what he was doing to you when he inserted another finger into you. One thing about Negan’s fingers? They were big and he knew just where to caress inside of you to have your writhing beneath him, your hips arching up toward the talented caress of his lips and tongue over your clit.

“Fuck,” you gasped, lifting your head to watch him while he pumped his fingers inside of you, hitting a certain spot that had your toes curling, your fingers clinging tighter to his hair and your cries growing louder. Loud, wet, slurping sounds were filling the air and an occasional moan from Negan would vibrate against your flesh. Your thighs tensed up, starting to twitch when you tried to hold back, but with what he was doing at feasting on your body had you moaning out his name. A pleased groan pressed against your flesh when the thrusting of his fingers grew stronger when he clearly got you to an orgasm. Your muscles tensed up, a rush flooding to your head leaving you absolutely breathless. “Oh my God.”

“And that’s just the start,” Negan snickered after pulling his mouth away from your body. When his fingers left you, a whimper followed. Seeing him using those same fingers to drag them across his bottom lip had your heart hammering harder inside of your chest. Sucking at his fingers, Negan groaned at the taste of you over them before reaching for you. Managing to pick you up and throw you over his shoulder had you gasping and clinging tightly to him. A firm smack was placed to your bottom and it made you moan. “Daddy’s got you darlin’. Don’t worry.”

Once Negan made it to the bedroom, he was careful in the way that he lowered you at the center of the bed. That’s when the room started to spin around you. Suddenly this was becoming all too real what was about to happen. Your eyes fell to Negan’s swollen cock and you felt your mouth go dry looking at it.

“I’ll be right back,” Negan held his finger up, going into the sitting area to grab something before returning with a condom and some lube. Getting onto his knees at the bottom of the bed had a breath catching in your throat when you pressed up onto your hands. Outstretching your hand, you palmed in over the center of his stomach, dragging your fingers down over his navel to tease through the dark curls of hair that were there that led to the base of his thick cock. Stroking his fingers over your shoulder, Negan hummed when you started kissing at the area right below his bellybutton. Grasping his shaft firmly, you took the tip back between your lips with your eyes staring up at him hoping to see his reaction while you pleasured him. The vein at the side of Negan’s neck was slightly bulging when he dropped his head back and moaned out. “Fuck.”

Allowing you to give him a blowjob for a few moments led to him curling his fingers into your hair to pull you back. A wet popping sound followed when your lips pulled from his cock and he stroked the saliva over his body.

Reaching for the condom, Negan urged you to wait. Still caressing over his hip, you wanted to make sure to still touch him when he went to open the condom.

“Do you use a condom with everyone?” you questioned noticing the smile that tugged at Negan’s lips when his thick eyebrows bounced up.

“Kind of the rules, so yeah,” Negan answered you, licking at his lips when you wrapped your fingers around his cock to stroke over it firmly. “Why? Do you want me to do it without a condom?”

“You’d do that?” you were almost intrigued when he smirked, his hips bouncing up toward your grasp.

“Well, you’re a virgin. I know I’m clean because I have to make sure of it,” Negan bobbed his head back and forth, sucking at his bottom lip when you dragged your tongue out over the length of his cock again. It had him moaning out, his long eyelashes fluttering to a close again. Truthfully? You didn’t care what he did. You just wanted him and you wanted him bad. “I can make an exception for you if you can keep a secret.”

“Keep a secret?” you mused, kissing at the underside of his cock having him humming out when his eyes came to a close. “Will your boss really get that upset with you for having unprotected sex with someone? You’d be willing to get in trouble for me?”

“Would Michonne get pissed at me? Probably. But you’re worth the risk,” Negan’s fingers curled around your throat, leading you back against the bed. A sharp exhale fell from your throat when he set the condom beside you on the bed and reached for the lube that he brought. Releasing your throat, he opened the bottle and poured a significant amount into his hand before stroking it over his cock slicking his girthy length with it.

“Is there much of a difference?” you whimpered when Negan very slowly crawled in over you, covering you with the weight of his body. The warmth of it radiating against your flesh.

“It’s more intimate,” Negan started peppering kisses over your lips, nipping at your bottom lip. “Some men like wearing condoms because it prolongs their orgasm, but I last long regardless.”

Lifting your head, you looked between the two of you to see that his cock was resting against your lower abdomen and it made you lick your lips. A sense of panic filled your veins in that moment, but Negan reached for your jaw to get you to rest your head back.

“Are you on the pill?” Negan confirmed and you nodded your head, feeling a rush of excitement with the smirk he gave you. Balancing himself on his left arm, Negan reached down between the two of you and you felt him dragging the swollen mushroom tip between your lips causing you to whimper. “It’s okay. Don’t get worried now. You’ve been such a good girl so far. Daddy is gonna take good care of you.”

Smacking sounds filled the air with Negan tapping his heavy cock against your sensitive clit getting you to arch up toward him. Hovering his lips in over yours, Negan adjusted himself before lining himself up with your entrance. Lowering over you, he reached for your wrists to pin them beside you on the bed. Squeezing firmly at them at first, Negan had you shaking beneath him when he slid his fingers to tangle his with yours. Pushing forward had the swollen tip entering you pushing past the ring of muscle that was there. It had Negan’s lips part, his jaw lowering and his eyelids growing heavy. Your cry followed with Negan dipping down just enough to press a faint kiss over your lips.

“Fuck,” Negan nipped at your lips when he pushed his hips forward just a bit more leaving you with a completely foreign sensation. It hurt at first, but you assumed that was normal since Negan from what you knew was bigger than most men were. “Look at me.”

Your eyes connected with his when he filled you with just the first few inches. His fingers squeezed tightly to yours, your whimper falling from your lips. Allowing you to get used to just that, Negan started to pamper you with kisses, pulling his hips back slightly allowing the tip to pull from you before pushing it back in. It was a unique feeling, but with every motion, you found your hips raising to meet his movements.

“Tell me if you need to stop,” Negan growled, the warmth of his breath hovering over your lips, but you didn’t want it to stop. No, you wanted more of this. Lifting your hips up higher toward him, you gave him a nod letting him know you wanted him to give you more and it made him smile. Rolling his hips, Negan filled you completely leaving you to let out a moan. God, you felt so fucking full with him inside of you. And you liked it. It was uncomfortable, but you felt like in that moment you belonged to him and every part of you was his. “Fuck, you are so goddamn tight.”

“Your cock is so big,” you whined against his lips, lifting your head up to meet him in a desperate kiss that he was eager to reward you with. You wanted him to move, but you knew that he was giving you time to get used to him. To feel him and be close to him. A loud, throaty moan escaped his lips with his eyes squeezing shut and you purred out. “Please…”

“Move your body with mine,” Negan instructed, his hips rolling back before pushing forward again. Doing what he said, your hips eagerly met every one of his thrusts and you winced when each movement started to get harder. “Do you wanna stop?”

“No,” you shook your head. You knew the pain would subside because with each movement the pleasure started to grow. The friction from his groin rubbing up against your clit felt incredible and you rocked into every movement he made. Plunge after addictive deep plunge had you moaning out, whimpering out his name and enjoying that he was just as much verbal as you. Burying his nose against the side of your neck, Negan kissed over your flesh and the smacking of your skin together felt incredible. “Do you like that tight little pussy?”

“Fuck me,” Negan pulled back with a wicked smirk, his left hand pulling from your hand to slide up over the side of your neck to grab a firm hold of your jaw. “I think you just might be my favorite.”

“As long as I’m yours,” you exclaimed, dropping your head back with the incredible sensation that Negan thrusting inside of you was giving you. Once he found a certain spot, his thrusts were planned and meticulous.

“You’re so fucking wet,” Negan hissed, dropping his head to watch his cock already coated in your slick while he thrust into you time and time again. The tip of his cock was rubbing up against your g-spot in varying different speeds and it hand your toes digging into the back of his thigh muscles. Your cries turned to breathless pants, with you trying to lift your head to watch what he was doing, but he shook his head. “How do you feel?”

“So good,” you answered with a whine knowing that at this point it was true. Whatever Negan was doing, he was doing it right leaving you with a tingling sensation flooding your body. Desperately reaching up, with your free hand you brought Negan to you to kiss him with his tongue brushing up against yours and his fingers squeezing tighter where he was still holding your hand. By the sounds you were making, Negan must have picked up on the fact you were about to come because his thrusts grew more determined. With a wail, you pulled your hips up and away from Negan, which was followed by a proud, amused sound. Your eyes slammed shut, your hips shaking with Negan’s free hand dropping to caress over your sensitive bundle of nerves, enhancing your orgasm with his caress. “Fuck! Fuck…”

“Look at you,” Negan snickered nuzzling his nose against the side of your neck with your coos of pleasure surrounding him. “Your first time and you’re already soaking daddy’s cock. Kissing up over the side of your neck, Negan let you take a moment to gather yourself before hovering over you again. “Put your arms around my shoulders. Hold on tight.”

Nodding, you did as he instructed and gasped when he pulled you up and got into a kneeling position on the bed. Getting you to straddle his hips, Negan reached between the two of you and helped you lower down over his cock while you braced your feet on the bed with Negan’s hands bracing against your ass. Dropping your head back, you cried out at the way he filled you.

“You like the way that feels?” Negan slurred against your lips, starting to use his strength to help you bounce yourself over his cock. Your right arm stayed hooked around his shoulders to keep you up, while you balanced yourself back on the bed with your other hand to help your movements. “Fuck, your tight virgin pussy feels so fucking good around my big cock.”

“Yes,” you gasped out, following the way that Negan was instructing you to move your hips over his cock allowing you to take all of him again and again.  You probably sounded like a broken record with how many times you were saying it, but it felt so good at this point. Bracing your left hand now instead on Negan’s thigh, you angled your hips hoping to get as much of him as you could. The wet sounds along with the two of you breathing heavily together filled the hotel room. “Your cock feels so good inside of me. Oh my god.”

Every roll of your hips over his length grew harder with his moans matching yours, “That’s my girl. You’re doing so fucking good.”

Whimpering out his name as he kissed down over the side of your neck, you couldn’t help but cry out with his right hand squeezing over your bottom to bring you over him while his left hand caressed up and over the small of your back. Pressing his forehead to yours, Negan made sure to keep the both of you close. Once your moans started to become closer together, Negan worked harder to bounce you over his cock.

“Are you gonna come?” he whispered and you nodded quickly, dropping your head back in ecstasy with the way he continued to fill you. Pulling your hips up and away once you hit your next orgasm led you to a euphoric sensation flooding your body. “Fuck, you’re just loving this aren’t you?”

“So much,” you whined when Negan seemed to easily grasp a hold of your hips to flip you over onto your stomach. Lifting your hips up just enough, Negan lowered down behind you with his tongue lapping at your body. His rough grasp palmed at your bottom having you crying out at the sensation. Not only was Negan doing what you paid for, he was going above and beyond to bring you to as many orgasms as he could. Curling your fingers around the comforter, you dropped your head and enjoyed the slurping sounds that came from Negan.

“Lower down baby,” Negan bit at your bottom making you purr as you felt his hands helping you to lay flat against the bed. Crawling in over you, Negan hooked his arm around your waist to pull your hips up slightly before leading his body back into yours with a wet sound. It had you both moaning out in unison with him nipping at your jawline when his steady thrusts started back up again. “I’m so happy you saved this tight little pussy for me. It’s like you were made for me.”

“All for you,” you hummed, happily accepting his fingers hooking with yours with the sounds of his hips smacking up against your bottom filling the air. “It belongs to you.”

“Oh yeah?” Negan’s free hand curled around your jawline to put a firm pressure on it having you wincing out in pleasure. “Who does this tight little pussy belong to?”

“You,” you whined with his thrusts growing stronger from behind you. “It belongs to you.”

“My name,” Negan demanded, his lips claiming yours having you crying out against his lips.

“Negan. It belongs to Negan,” you gave him what he wanted to hear, nipping at his bottom lip when he released an amused rumble of a sound. “I’m all yours.”

Snickering against the side of your neck, Negan chuckled before quickening the pace of his cock thrusting inside of you. You couldn’t believe how quickly you became addicted to the sensation of him stretching you and filling you completely.

Your moans countered each other’s with the sound of the headboard smacking against the wall. You wondered if anyone would complain considering you knew that the two of you were not being quiet. At all. Cooing out, your hips tried to pull up and away from Negan’s feeling that same build up he had done before inside of you so many times, but his hips followed your movements doing his best to keep moving inside of you until you pulled away with a whine.

“Christ,” your body shook and Negan moaned against the side of your neck. Just his body weight over you felt good and you didn’t know how you weren’t going to want this constantly now that you’ve had it. “Negan.”

“Come here,” he instructed, nudging your hip and getting you onto your back again. Getting comfortable, Negan braced his weight and got you to hook your legs around his waist. Your bodies were pressed together with his fingers sweeping over your jawline and his hazel eyes locked on yours. “You are so fucking perfect.”

Gasping out as he entered you again, your fingers slid up the lengths of his back before sinking into his hair. Smiling had his dimples even more prominent than before when he took his time rolling his hips back before forward again. This time it was about closeness and the connection between the two of you. Gradually with each thrust, the strength grew harder and quicker. Desperate to have him near, you pulled his lips to yours demanding the attention you wanted. Winces started falling from Negan’s throat with his moans growing louder.

“I’m going to come,” he grunted against your lips, his thick eyebrows furrowing with his lips parting and his moans becoming even raspier. Arching your hips up toward his thrusts, you lifted your head just enough to meet his dominant and forceful kiss. Each thrust became rough, with your winces against his lips drawing him to growl out. Biting at your bottom lip, Negan’s moans grew closer together when you felt the throbbing of him inside of you followed by the first sign of the warmth of his release. The expression over his face as he continued the rolling of his hips over you only turned you on more when you pulled him closer to you kissing over the side of his neck. After a few final thrusts, Negan’s breathing grew loud and he nuzzled his nose against the side of your neck with you clinging tightly to him. Negan pumped you full of his cum, his cock still throbbing inside of you after he reached his orgasm. You were surprised how much you enjoyed the feeling of it. “Fuck.”

Stroking your fingers through his damp hair, you felt like the world was spinning around you. Your body ached in the most amazing of ways and you loved the sounds of Negan’s deep breaths against the side of your neck.

With a throaty groan, Negan pulled his hips back and away from you allowing his softening cock to pull from your body. Whining out, you hated the empty feeling it left you with, but you felt the warmth of his release spilling out of you and sliding down your thighs.

With a grunt, Negan got up from the bed and you felt your heart sinking. Throughout the whole thing, Negan made sure to make everything very intimate between the two of you, so when he stood up you almost assumed that he was already getting ready to leave. He had done what you had asked of him of course, so what more did he need to do?

Closing your eyes, your breathing started to calm down with your skin feeling like it was on fire. As the bed dipped, you found yourself surprised to feel the warmth of Negan beside you again. Opening your eyes, you felt him wiping at the mess he made over your thighs with a tissue and you reached up to stroke over his jawline.

“I thought you were leaving,” you declared while Negan finished cleaning you up. Tossing the tissue into the garbage, Negan crawled in over you again and traced over your features with his rough fingertips. The way he looked at you took your breath away and you stole another kiss from his lips.

“Nope,” he shook his head with a smirk, peppering playful kisses over your jawline then your shoulder and then to your breast. Nipping at your nipple had your back arching up toward him and he growled. His left hand caressed in over the side of your body and you hummed. “You did so good. How do you feel?”

“I feel good,” you answered with a hum as hand lifted and his thumb swept over your bottom lip. “I mean, I ache, but I feel really good.”

“Good,” he slurred with a happy smirk, pressing another kiss to your lips before rolling onto his back and pulling you with him. Resting your head over the center of his chest, you stroked your fingers over the damp hair that were over his lower abdomen. Pressing a kiss to your temple, Negan squeezed you in closer to him and it made you both smile. “Do you regret your decision?”

“Not one bit,” your answer was immediate, drawing what sounded like a snort from his lips and it made you lift your head from his chest to stare up at him. “The only thing I’m starting to regret is that this will be over soon.”

“Not that soon. You have me all night,” Negan reminded you with a wink, his raspy voice drawing you in to kiss him again. With an arrogant bob of his head, he gave you another one of his sexy smiles before squeezing over your bottom. “Which means I’m yours until morning.”

“Oh yeah,” your eyebrow arched in curiosity and he nodded his head.

“And lets not pretend that this is gonna be the last time,” Negan declared, his nose nuzzling in against yours when he claimed your lips in a kiss again. “We both know that after tonight, you belong to me. All of you belongs to me.”

----

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[ladyloveandjustice]

When I checked to tag to confirm his favorite food that in the tag I see people arguing "Shuro's not a misogynist!!! He's not sexist!!! he said he loves Falin's mind!!!" and guys. he's sexist. That doesn't mean you can't like him or anything, or that he's irredeemable, I wouldn't call him a misogynist as in "he hates women", but:

"ORDINARY WOMEN HATE BUGS AND THINK THEY'RE GROSS AND ICKY AND SCREAM...YET FALIN LOVES BUGS? THE SPECIALEST GIRL IN THE UNIVERSE!" #notlikeothergirls

(very funny to say it about a caterpillar too, since those are not bugs people are most commonly scared of or disgusted by compared to other ones)

He again shows a kind of condescending sexism even in post-series comics:

Pretty rich for a guy with an all female group of bodyguards! He's talking to someone who's very capable of defending herself. It's a weird cognitive dissonance he has here, one that's not really shown by other people in the manga! One thing that's cool about Dunmeshi is there's really not much "women are like this, men at like this, women have to be protected" language and women are casually treated in a fairly equal manner...except when Shuro is talking. It's pretty clearly a deliberate thing.

On top of that, he really did make Falin his manic pixie dream girl, and that's undeniable. He says he likes her mind and that's great, but in reality he barely knows her and his view of her is very founded the ideal he's built her into. First of all, he doesn't really seem to accept Laios would be part of his life if they got married, because he seems to assume Falin would leave him and everything she cares about behind, which she definitely wouldn't have done at this point in her life. Nor does he tell the two most important people to her about his plan to rescue her. He does a lot of things we know Falin wouldn't care for in her name. I think he matures a bit over the course of the manga, but I don't think he sees her actual quirks and flaws (which he might find annoying) the way Laios and Marcille do.

I've seen people excusing this with "he's repressed/ he's Japanese" which uuuuh. Not a great look to say we can't expect a Japanese man to be as "enlightened" as their European friends. Again, Shuro has grown up with a ton of women around. His indirect nature and issues with his childhood might be why he keeps his distance from them, but odds are one of the ninja girls doesn't mind bugs, or another one of his allies in the dungeon world. He did grow up in a fairly patiarchal household, but he is surrounded by women he could get to know, and very capable female fighters both in his adventurers party and his homelife. So theres no excuse for him to treat Falin as delicate or put her on a pedestal compared to his assumptions about other women.

Again. this doesn't make him irredeemable. I'd call it subconcious sexism rather than actively hating women, a thin line sometimes, but significant in the likelihood of capacity to change. I feel like if someone pointed it out to him he'd at least give it some thought or maybe try to reconcile with it. But excusing the flaw doesn't do anything for his character. Just because you like him doesn't mean he doesn't have issues.

[mxtxfanatic]

Hm, I know I said at least in my first reading of mdzs that I felt like Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng were actually friends as kids, I would like to remind folks that the catastrophic breakdown of their friendship was not because of some misplaced care but because Jiang Cheng is a stagnant character whose whole role in the story is to be the one who never learns, changes, and grows past his insecurities and resentments. They were always going to fall out with each other, even if the Sunshot Campaign never happened, even if the Wen Clan didn’t exist as a subjugating force terrorizing the other clans, because no matter how much Jiang Cheng cares about anyone, he will always place his personal resentments first.

I’m so serious: reread the pre-fall of Lotus Pier parts of the novel (flashback extras included), and tell me how many times Jiang Cheng says something genuinely nice about or to the benefit of Wei Wuxian without prompting. Point to me places where Jiang Cheng puts himself on the line for Wei Wuxian that is not him distracting the Wen. Compare the number of unambiguously positive interactions they have to the number of interactions they have in total, and I bet you’ll see that the positives are laughingly scant. Most every interaction they have together, Jiang Cheng is being a negative nancy. He’s the type of friend who, if you said “Today is a good day!” would snidely respond back, “What’s so good about?” before loudly complaining about what a nuisance your happiness is. Jiang Cheng is the type of friend that tells you that everyone else hates you because you’re so annoying, and you need to do something about that because he also finds you annoying so you should be lucky he “puts up with” you. And all of this negativity can be directly traced back to the resentment Jiang Cheng feels caused by his own mother projecting her insecurities onto him. Jiang Cheng, who cannot grow, learn, or change, is unable to extract his own self from his mother’s insecurities, ending up inheriting them as his own, instead.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like teen!Jiang Cheng is some irredeemable monster (that is reserved for his adult self), but Wei Wuxian already shows signs of being tired of his attitude as kids. He snaps at Jiang Cheng rudeness in the lotus pod seeds extra. He constantly admonishes Jiang Cheng about his blatant disregard for the lives and safety of other people. Most of the time, Wei Wuxian won’t even engage in the petty little remarks that Jiang Cheng makes, just treating it like nobody had spoken at all. The only times Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian move as a unit is when they have a common enemy—like Jin Zixuan—but without that, they are only held together by the fact that…they’ve been friends for a long time.

And this kinda leads me back to the point about the yunmeng friendship not being able to withstand the test of time even without an outside conflict: I would place the point of no return for their relationship at Wei Wuxian killing the xuanwu of slaughter, not at the fall of Lotus Pier. Wei Wuxian is one of two individuals that killed a mythological bloodthirsty creature responsible for hundreds of deaths, spent a week in a coma from his injuries and lack of immediate care, and what does he get for it? Jiang Cheng shows up with soup gifted to Wei Wuxian by Jiang Yanli, except he’s eaten all the meat out of it. Jiang Fengmian gives the most lukewarm praise to Wei Wuxian for his achievements—which Wei Wuxian neither complained about nor called him out for—because they were both trying to be mindful of Jing Cheng’s insecurities, and Jiang Cheng still made it about himself. When Madam Yu storms in to yell about how Wei Wuxian is a “bastard child” and he’s just trying to show off, Jiang Cheng consciously and unambiguously sides with his mother. Wei Wuxian had to drag his feverish body out of bed—after just awakening from a week-long coma—to placate pity-party Jiang Cheng, and the only thing that makes him feel better is not promises of continued friendship but of servitude. Even if at this point Wei Wuxian was still viewing Jiang Cheng as a—admittedly caustic—friend, Jiang Cheng’s view had fully transitioned from “annoying friend my mother hates” to “the servant I need to keep in line lest he overshadows me.” If anything, the fall of Lotus Pier, the debt placed on Wei Wuxian by the Jiang leaders, and the subsequent war probably allowed their friendship to last longer than it naturally would have (remember, they are only united against outside forces).

All this to say that while Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian may have started out as genuine friends in their childhood, their transition to enemies has absolutely nothing to do with that care. Sometimes we fall out with people because we just do not like them as people. Jiang Cheng’s resentment prevented him from appreciating Wei Wuxian as a person, leading to the end of their friendship and their descent into eventual enemies. Not misplaced or warped care, just pure, undeniable resentment.

[imaginedanvrs]

when the world stands still

part 1 l masterlist

natasha romanoff x reader

word count: 3.6k

warnings: explosions, manipulation, coercion, descriptions of stage 4 cancer, character death, grief

“I don’t like her,” Natasha said to her friend freely from where they sat at the bar, the Russian’s eyes focused on the woman in question.

  “I know,” Wanda replied, glancing briefly at the small crowd gathered on the opposite side of the room. “She seems better than Ross though.” Natasha scoffed lightly. 

  “Doubtful. If he practically gave her his old job then they’ve got to have the same agenda,” Natasha theorised. “Doesn’t this worry you?” She asked, turning to the younger redhead with a furrowed brow. She had more reason for concern than the Russian did.

  “Of course, but it’s nothing that we can control or even have a say in. It’s best if we just try and stay on her good side,” Wanda explained. “I doubt we’ll ever see a Secretary of State that actually likes the Avengers. They don’t like what they can’t control.” The mentor didn’t respond, still examining the newest political figure Tony had invited to his party, most likely having the same thinking as Wanda. 

  “Krasnyy,” Wanda muttered. “Don’t give her reason to make things difficult for us,” she said with a slight plea. 

  “I’ll play nice,” the older woman assured with a teasing smile that didn’t help put the Sokovian’s mind at ease. She hummed and followed Natasha’s gaze to where it had travelled to the spacious balcony outside. There were few people scattered around on the other side of the closed doors to keep out the evening autumn breeze that proved to be too much for most of the guests. They retreated back into the warmth, leaving you to stand alone. 

  “You don’t like her wife either?” Wanda queried.

  “Fiance,” Natasha corrected. “Of two years,” she added with a knowing smirk over the tip of her glass. 

  “Spreading gossip about them is the last thing you should be doing,” Wanda scolded lightly before taking her own sly glance in your direction. Your back was to the party, the city beyond captivating your attention instead. You had dutifully shown your face by your partner’s side at the start of the party but apparently hadn’t felt the need to mingle like most did at such an event. “Two years?” Wanda asked as though it only just clicked. Natasha chuckled with a small nod. “Well I suppose they must be quite busy.” 

  “Too busy for a lot of things I bet,” Natasha continued. 

  “Tasha,” Wanda warned again, unable to hide her smile this time. “It’s my turn to escape early,” she said as she stood up. The brunette had a mission early the following morning, a card Natasha had been able to play at the last few events. It wasn’t that either of them disliked Stark’s parties, they were infamous for a reason, but nights like that one didn’t compare when there was a clear political motive and the heroes were paraded around like trophies that could perform tricks. 

  “Tell me what I miss when I’m back,” she said, leaving the spy to her own devices at the bar where her attention soon flickered back to you. 

  Play nice, she reminded herself as she started towards the balcony. You didn’t turn around when the door opened behind you, taking another drag from the glowing cigarette as your gaze remained fixed on the night life below. 

  “I’m glad someone can admit how tedious these events can be,” Natasha called out, putting several paces between you as she leant over the railing next to you. You glanced her way in acknowledgment but gave no indicator if you were pleased or irritated by the company. 

  “This is the third one this week,” you told her simply. 

  “Just don’t laugh too much at the unfunny jokes or they won't leave you alone,” Natasha advised. “Oh and pretend you don’t find them incredibly irritating,” she added. You took another steady drag as you eyed the Avenger, unsure what her angle was with you. Most of the guests at such parties that approached you on your own just wanted some gossip about your personal life. Vultures.

  “Is that what you do?” A genuine smile crept through Natasha’s strategic features that you apparently saw through better than most.

  “And find the right people to pass the time with. I suppose your fiance is preoccupied though,” the redhead stated as she peered back at the party. You didn’t reply, nor did you show any interest in what you were missing behind you. “If you can stick it through, it gets better once people get drunk,” the spy continued, set on getting some kind of reaction or exchange from you. 

  “They’ve got the right idea,” you muttered as you crushed the cigarette but under your heel and finally peered back at the party. Your fiance was still immersed in conversation with Steve, one of the few heroes that was willing to converse with her for so long. Natasha’s eyes twinkled in a way she knew Wanda would disapprove of. Regardless, she opened an invitation to you. 

  “Not many people know this, but I’m a pretty great mixologist,” she told you. You considered her for a moment before turning back to the party you had no interest in attending. Might as well enjoy the free drinks, it’s the only perk this new lifestyle seems to come with.

  “Screw it, why not,” you shrugged, allowing the Avenger to lead the way back inside and to the edge of the bar where she and Wanda had sat, out of the way of the main events. “How often does Stark throw these events?” You asked as Natasha began pouring from bottles you didn’t know the names of. 

  “Not as much as people think,” she told you. “And there’s usually less people.”

  “Is it better that way?” You asked out of your own sheer curiosity. 

  “Much,” Natasha admitted. You had to give her credit for her honesty. “Events like this just feel like a show.”

  “For my fiance?”

  “Who else?” The redhead placed a martini glass on the bar and pushed it gently towards her. You thanked her and briefly glanced back in the direction of the main party, seeing the guest of honour still mingling with Steve. “Now that bit isn’t an act. They’re talking shop because he’s the only one who can make it seem so harmless at these events,” Natasha continued. 

  She didn’t stop there. As the evening became night, the redhead analysed everyone in the room to you as she continued to push more drinks. You weren’t entirely sure why she was doing it, but it did make the event more interesting to know the unkept secrets about some of the other guests who had appeared. It was also helpful. The gist of it was, none of them were as powerful, generous or influential as they believed themselves to be. 

  Though as enlightening as Natasha’s tale’s were, you couldn’t sit at the bar and listen to her all night, as reminded to you when midnight came around as indicated by the chime. The Avenger was about to pour from another bottle when you stopped it all, the content smile remaining on her imperfect features. 

  “Stop,” you muttered under your breath. 

  The world obeyed. 

  You examined Natasha for a moment, noting the lonely stillness that had fallen over her features and that of everyone else's in the world and briefly wondered if it would ever stop feeling so isolating. You couldn’t ponder on it, even if you did quite literally have all the time in the world, because you had a job to do. 

  Begrudgingly, you stood up from the bar stool and leisurely made your way across the grande room with a slight intoxicated sway to your step, passing by every statue without a second glance. You always felt guilty when you saw all their oblivious faces. 

  You had never uttered that magic word after a drink before and you could feel yourself having less of a control over keeping everything still than you usually did. You were playing a dangerous game, resuming everything too soon could have endless consequences that you weren’t planning on exploring. She certainly wouldn’t be happy. 

  More than that, you had never performed the task on a building with such impressive technology either. What if you were finally caught? It couldn’t have worse outcomes than the only other time you had been found out. For you. Someone else would pay that price though and you weren’t ready to deal with the debt that would follow, ironic for someone with your abilities. 

  Even though you had tried your best to memorise the route to the control room prior, you still found yourself getting lost numerous times on the way. It didn’t help that such a large tower only had two sets of stairwells for you to use because Stark apparently had too much faith in his building's ability not to catch on fire and render the elevators useless. You couldn’t use them yourself, having to be sure that everything was left in place when you resumed the world. 

  Finally, you found the main control room and didn’t waste any time placing the small chip under the nearest surface. It was hard to believe what it was supposedly capable of, but you had no doubt that their plan was flawless, it always was. 

  Just like that, your work was done and you returned to the party, feeling far heavier than you had when you left from the guilt that was already weighing on your shoulders. It wasn’t the first time you had done something like that, but you were sure this deed was going to have a worse impact than any of the prior ventures. 

  You let go of your hold on the world’s time so that the chaos could resume. The midnight chime ended and was replaced with another sound, one that was far grander. 

  The explosion shook the building, startling every guest that looked to each other for solace and guidance with terrified expressions. Alarms blared, people screamed, orders were yelled from the building’s AI and heroes. “Stay here,” Natasha ordered as you painted your features with the same fear that everyone else carried. 

  “But Cecilia-” you started, because anyone would be first concerned about their lover, right? Amidst the chaos, you really couldn’t see her. 

  “Wait!” Natasha repeated, springing over the bar and starting down the hall you had come from as the AI reported where the explosion had started. Steve rushed off after her, then Tony, then a few others. Then the next alert came. 

  “Security breach within the mainframe!” The robotic voice alerted. 

  You were so focused on watching the crowd panicking around you that you didn’t even notice the presence behind you until her body crashed into yours, supposedly to embrace you in a blaze of panic and relief. “Are you okay?” Your fiance asked as she examined your features carefully, playing the role without fault. 

  “Yeah, I’m okay,” you told her, staring long enough into her features to give the nonverbal answer she was looking for. She hardly needed it, the scenes unfolding around you were evident that you had done as she instructed. 

  “Good,” she exhaled, pulling you flush against her into a tight hug that gave her enough cover to whisper into your ear. “Good girl,” she praised, maintaining that fake worry as she pulled away. You felt sick. People were crying around you. God, you hoped no one was hurt. 

  The situation was handled with impressive ease and it wasn’t long before everyone was being evacuated from the tower. Despite yourself, as you followed the crowd out of the building, your arm protectively around your fiance’s waist, your eyes drifted back in hopes of catching a glimpse of the redhead that had entertained you for the last stretch of the party. Part of you actually wanted to thank her for making the tension you had been feeling lessen, but that couldn’t happen, so you carried on. 

  The moment you were in the car together with the driver speeding off to your home, Cecilia was on the phone to her team. “Did you get it?” You didn’t hear the response, you didn’t want to know. Still, her chuckle told you it had. They had hacked the Avengers and retrieved whatever files they were looking for. You weren’t sure which ones, all you knew was that you had been able to damage the controls enough to provide a window for them to enter and take what they pleased. 

  “I don’t know what you’re looking so down about,” Cecilia sniped when a silence fell over the vehicle. “You know the deal, your sister gets more treatment now,” she said simply. 

  Yeah, she will. That’s all that matters. You nodded. “Thank you,” you muttered. “Can I see her?” You asked, hoping you could make a stop to visit her before you were taken back to the house. 

  “She’s already in surgery,” she told you with a smile. You returned it politely, willing yourself not to argue that that meant you really should have been taken to where she was so that you could wait for her, so that you could be there in case… Fuck, you didn’t even know she needed another surgery. They never told you anything. 

  You fought back tears, adamant that you wouldn’t show weakness in front of her, especially when she was on a power trip of success. She had the job, she had the files, she had you. To her, everything was working out perfectly. To you, it was all falling apart. 

*

“What files were accessed?” Tony asked, feeling an uncertainty arise within his chest. No one had ever hacked him before. No one had ever successfully attacked the base. What was worse, there were still no answers as to how it had been done. He sighed, running his hand through his hair as he gazed at the monitor that offered no comfort. 

  “Just under half of all existing documents. Displaying now.” Files streamed onto the screen on cue, all ranging in dates and topics. 

  “Anything?” Steve and Natasha entered his space cautiously, knowing that the billionaire was stuck in his own head that was no doubt flooded with anxiety. 

  “No, keep the tower shut to all other personnel until we know for sure that there are no more bombs.” 

  “They’re already gotten what they want,” Steve said. 

  “We can’t know that for sure,” Natasha input, leaning over to examine the different documents that were presented and trying to pinpoint any recurring themes or patterns. “We don’t even know who they are.”

*

  Gently, you ran your fingers over the skin where your sister’s hair should have been. You always used to do that when she was sick, from her fevers as a baby to the start of her diagnosis, you were always there to provide her with whatever comfort you could. Getting her the medical help she needed had been a long, greying, journey that you had never for one moment considered might not lead to the destination you wanted. It had been difficult for you both, but you had never dared let her in on what you had done to get her there. 

  It wasn’t a hospital by any means, yet the equipment they carried in the building was far superior. There was a team of professionals that were so highly trained in their respective fields, you had to wonder how much they were being paid to treat your sister and the other unknown patients. It was certainly money that you had never handed them, but you had worked for it. It wasn’t the personnel that had drawn you to the facility, it was the medicine they used. It wasn’t from Earth. 

  You had seen first hand the miracles that occurred on the hostile city streets, the last place anyone would expect to find them. Sicknesses being rid of, disabilities being lessened, burdens released from those who could never have afforded lesser help from elsewhere. All they had to pay with was their services. Thieves, thugs, gangs, dealers, the skills that flourished in the city’s underbelly were revived and given the chance to be used in ways they never could have imagined. 

  Once those rumours fell on your ears, you thought you had found the solution to your problems and that if you gave yourself to the ones pulling the strings behind the curtain, you could save your sister's life. Even as you gazed down at her pale features, you refused to believe your efforts were in vain. 

  Footsteps broke you from your trance as they thudded into your space. You knew who it was, she had a habit of interrupting what little time you had with your sister, as though she was genuinely jealous that your attention was on someone else. Cecilia was hardly in love with you and your relationship was purely for the convenience of getting you access to restricted events and places, but her possession was fierce. She was adamant on knowing where you were at all times and who you were with, preferably being the one to send you to those specific places. You kept to the diet and workout plan she set for you and never let you sleep in a different bed to her. You didn’t understand her insistent dictatorship over your life that was already in her hands, you just knew to obey it. 

  You didn’t react when she pressed a kiss to your neck and snaked her hands around your waist to peer over your shoulder at your sister. She didn’t comment on her declining condition, instead, she brought up the absolute last thing on your mind. “I’ve finally decided on a venue,” she informed lightly, humming into your neck. You could have slapped her. You didn’t want to think about the goddamn wedding. “You’re gonna love it,” she added when you remained silent. 

  “Can you ask the doctors what they’re gonna do next?” You asked. They never told you, too busy to make conversation with someone that didn’t matter to them. You felt your fiance exhale against your skin. She was frustrated, as though your little sister’s cancer was an inconvenience. 

  “She’s dying,” she said bluntly. You stiffened and hoped she didn’t notice. You weren’t in the mood for a fight. 

  “Not yet.” Cecilia kept her hands on your waist as she moved around to your front, placing a fresh kiss to your cheek that you refused to let be stained with tears in front of her. 

  “I love that stubbornness,” she told you with a small smile. “There’s so much fight in that heart of yours,” she added, trailing her finger over your chest to where your organ was thumping. “So much strength.” Her hands threaded around your neck. “It’s why you’re my favourite,” Cecilia said fondly, kissing you once more before finally leaving you be. 

  Your sister died a week later. 

  The only comfort you were able to take from it was that you were by her side when she took her final breath. You were there to tell her that she didn’t have to hang on for you, that she could rest, go be with mum and dad, be without pain. You told her that you would be okay on your own, even though you knew you wouldn’t. You held her hand and felt her give a final squeeze of recognition, of comfort. Her silent goodbye. 

  Just like that, you were left alone. 

  Your sobs could have been heard throughout the entire building. You were inconsolable, grasping onto your little sister’s lifeless body like it would keep her around. You begged for her to take you with her, to let you join them and come home. You begged for an ending. You cried so much your throat felt as though it had been ripped out, torn to shreds from the source. They only intervene when you tried to draw out your time with her. 

  “St-” you couldn’t complete the desperate command because hundreds of volts were sent through your body. You convulsed and collapsed to the floor in a defeated heap, unwilling to ever get up again. What was the point if you didn’t have her to fight for? 

  “Shh, it’s okay,” Cecilia cooed as she pulled the taser clips from your back and pulled your head into her lap. She cradled you, offering her solace for something that never concerned her. She was probably happy your sister was gone. She finally had you all to yourself, even if you were hardly present. “We’ll make it better. You’ll do your best work without the distraction, get you training more.” You weren’t listening, too engaged with setting your eyes on the opposite wall. You didn’t care for her plans for you. 

  “She never would have died if you had been given more help,” she explained, catching your attention. “But no one cared, not the government, not the people, not the Avengers. They just kept you away from us until it was too late.” You didn’t entirely believe what your fiance was telling you, but your mind was so fractured you were desperate for some kind of explanation and someone to blame. 

“Humanity cannot be trusted with its own freedom. We fail time and time again because we aren’t led in the way we should be, the way we can be. Help us change that, y/n.” Dutifully, you sat up and nodded.

“We’re the only ones that looked after you and we’re the only ones that ever will,” she explained. That was true. You had no more foundations or life beyond the commands you were given. No one else could give you a future. 

  “What do you say?” Cecilia asked. You moved to kneel in front of her, features dead straight and eyes as dull as your sister’s behind you. 

  “Hail Hydra.” 

[figureofdismay]

i become more and more convinced that Scully reacts like a person with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria when Mulder shows signs of being interested in spending time with people who are Not Her. Starting with prime plagiaristic schlub Jerry Lamana, former partner, so it's not just a romantic jealousy. The Lone Gunmen are exempt from this somehow, probably because the guys always support Mulder but also don't monopolize his time. But anyone else, especially a female someone else, makes her spiral painfully.

Yes, there's an element of protectiveness. Everyone around Mulder seems to take advantage of him, he practically goes barrelling out asking to be misused and misled. But it's really, clearly not just that, because she goes into big distress and starts doubting her place in her life, regardless of the rationality of it, or what Mulder has shown or communicated to her about his feelings for her in the past.

It's endearing, but it's not, despite what collective fanon plays on to enhance angst scenarios, grounded in the reality of mulder's actual textual behavior and sentiments towards her, i.e. that he's ever given any indication that there's any way he'd accept someone else as his partner or give anyone else the majority of his attention. Rationally Scully know this, to the point that she was worried that he wouldn't survive if she died of the cancer. But RSD isn't rational, it's a maladaptive reaction, and one that makes a lot of sense with her being some flavor of 'quirky 90s character' ND who's always been socially just as much an outsider as Mulder has.

I don't think it's an intentional portrayal of that specific type of reaction, but i don't think Scully's jealousy/fear of being unseated is meant to show that her place with him is in actuality tenuous. And i personally believe that within the parameters of their indirect communication style and via all the massive gestures and risks they've taken for each other, the security of their bond actually is mutually well established. It's just those reaction flashpoints for her, where he pays attention to another woman in the course of an investigation/crisis incident and despite the fact that they've gone to the ends of the earth for each other, she starts thinking, 'well maybe he's done with me, maybe this is the time he's found someone more interesting he likes better, it's all over.' But even with Diana I don't think this is grounded in Mulder's actual behavior or level of interest in any ~interlopers. It's a reaction that she's having but it's disproportionate.

And I do love some yummy angst fic and love triangles and playing Diana up to the ultimate wedge issue! But I do also think it would be interesting to dig into Scully's jealousy/possessiveness/disproportionate hurt. I think Mulder sees it, at least somewhat, he's not ~afflicted with masculine feelings blindness or just being a self-absorbed ass (as some have accused lol), I think he's just bewildered, and doesn't seem to feel able or even allowed to approach these kind of personal emotional issues with Scully -- and she does also get very defensive about things in this vein so. It's hard to find the inroad to get them to talk about it.

But I do think it would be interesting to see, confronting the actual issues inherent in Mulder having/displaying professional or even casual personal interest in other people/women that he doesn't see as serious or impactful long term in his life, and Scully feeling as though she's in a love triangle, which is a very unsettling, even terrifying feeling even if it's not representative. It would be interesting to see Mulder see and confront that, have him saying, basically, nothing about us has changed and I don't plan for it to change, but i see you catastrophizing this and I don't get it. Why do you even think you'd need to compete?

Though i also don't see Scully being able to respond to that beyond deflection or getting emotional to the point of being unable to articulate anything. But it is something she needs to wrestle with, especially as she and Mulder head deeper and deeper into their relationship.

[blorbosinmyheadcentral]

Hey Val!

So (if you've seen it) what do you think of episode 2?

Here's some thoughts!

GANGLE

When will Gangle know happiness... 

KINGER

Kinger was adorable as always. I like how the others can rely on him when they're feeling emotionally vulnerable. That scene with Ragatha and her self-doubt, and how Kinger reassures her? I'm glad he has these moments of clarity. Old man even tries to help Pomni, even if he's bad at it. He's so well intentioned. <3

JAX

Jax is a terrible person. He was already very bad before, but somehow got worse. No care for his companions (Pomni and Gangle mostly), no care for the NPCs (he was very eager to see them die horribly). There's some indication Jax might have cared about Kaufmo, but overall, his attitude is so dissonant. It's hard to understand what's really going on inside his head.

RAGATHA

I like that Ragatha didn't hold any grudges over Pomni abandoning her in episode 1. Ragatha is just so sweet. Constantly worrying for Pomni's well being, being considerate enough to try to cheer up Jax of all people. She makes a huge difference in this group, like a glue that keeps everyone together.

GUMMIGOO

LOVED Gummigoo. Yeah I wasn't prepared for him. I didn't know what to expect of him (he looked like a serious bad guy type?), but what we got was so good. Loves his two gummy gator friends (wants to preserve their minds from the weight of self-awareness). His connection to Pomni, the way they could relate, it was all believable and palpable. Nice guy.

POMNI

Pomni herself was my favorite. Compassionate, empathetic, expressing her thoughts calmly and sincerely. Determined, inventive - trying to find ways to get herself and Gummigoo out of that place. 

I think the fact that she spent most of these two episodes physically separated from everyone else was no coincidence. Pomni was disconnected from them. The dream sequence at the beginning? A reflection of her own doubts and fears. That she's nothing, or that no one in the circus would care if she was gone. So she, either intentionally or by happenstance, distanced herself. 

I'm super happy that the episode ended on a hopeful note. Pomni found that her companions would care for her and remember her, and so it turned her views on her head. She's not alone. She has people that she can rely on.....

KAUFMO

(The Kaufmo funeral was very touching too, especially with Zooble organizing it. I've seen jokes that no one cared much that he died in episode 1, so seeing otherwise was pretty cool.)

FANDOM

I hold no ill will against Caine, and this is coming from someone who really really liked Gummygoo (literally screamed a big NOOO when he poofed). It's a little concerning how feral people are getting about Caine.

CAINE

Speaking of Caine, I need understanding between them, I need it SO bad. He keeps making these little decisions that impact the human characters. Especially Pomni. And he's not even aware of how much it hurts them, or that it's harmful at all!!

The way some of them are so dismissive (Zooble waiting for him to go away), annoyed, or only see Caine as a bot that fixes things when everything goes wrong... it makes me think they've tried to reason with him before, and it didn't work, so now they treat him like the machine he is to them.

As of now, Pomni understands him as much as everyone else does. She's frustrated, she's livid, and she has every reason to want to punch his teeth in. But after episode 2???? Considering how sympathetic Pomni was with Gummigoo, an NPC/AI himself???? I have a little hope that Pomni can actually get through to Caine in the future.

[eyecan02]

Alastor & Charlie's Dance Analysis

I find it interesting that Alastor would choose a hobby that has been so romantically coded for centuries. The art of dance is basically a mating ritual of sorts. It opens the door to romance, love, passion and trust.

In the dance film "Take the Lead", the lead character describes dance as an act of trust. As he says (paraphrasing a bit because I couldn't find the actual quote or clip) "The man leads the dance, but it is the woman's choice to let him lead so she is the one with the power."

I feel like this line sums up Alastor and Charlie's first dance in the pilot and their relationship in general. Tossing Charlie into the air and catching her. Sliding down the ramp/stairs while holding her hand. Alastor dipping her. All of these moments during their dance were how Alastor was building trust with Charlie.

Alastor believes he is the one leading their "dance". He's the one "producing" the show. He's the storyteller. He's the one directing the tide how he wants. Except for underestimating Adam, he has had a lot of control over many events; running the hotel, mutually agreeing with Charlie to let Sir Pentious stay at the hotel, protecting the hotel, the satisfied look he had during "More than Anything" almost as if the outcome of the song is exactly what he wanted, saving information on the angels for a rainy day, Alastor telling Charlie about his smile being a power play, Alastor taking her to a town full of cannibals, looping his arm through hers so Charlie doesn't stray, Alastor introducing Rosie as an ally for Charlie and lending Charlie his microphone staff.

"I knew she could do it all along."

"She's filled with potential that I could guide."

"I love you all so much."

No one talks about this line enough. The camera literally pans to Alastor first (again seemingly like he's the one directing/leading their dance) and his grin widens because he knows he's won Charlie's trust and love.

When Alastor returns during the Finale song, Charlie literally re-receives him with literal open arms. He smiles with satisfaction because her hug confirms that he hasn't lost Charlie's trust (which is currently the most important thing to him besides his freedom).

Earlier, I had said dancing can be a mating ritual. It makes people bond. In this case, Alastor and Charlie bonded as friends while also "bonding" through their ambiguous contract. While not binding Charlie's soul to him, their "dance" still bound her to him in a sense. They'll be "together" until Alastor decides what his favor will be/what he wants to do after he regains his freedom.

Now onto Charlie's POV of their "dance". She knows that Alastor's whole persona is an amalgamation of control and choice. As Alastor stated before, he can make people stay at the hotel so why doesn't he just force them? Charlie wants it to be the sinners' choice.

Why does he originally use modern technology for the first commercial? Charlie. Why does he stop beating up Sir Pentious? Because Charlie had said "He's had enough." He actually did stop and only blasted Pentious a moment later because he ripped his coat.

Why does he allow Pentious to stay at the hotel? Because Charlie was the one that encouraged Pentious to apologize to Alastor. Why was Pentious allowed to stay even after they found out he was a spy? Because Charlie forgave him and that was good enough for Alastor.

It's always about Charlie's choice. When they first met, Charlie said, "I know he probably doesn't want to change, but I can't turn him away. It goes everything I believe in." Then she takes the reigns of the situation by telling Alastor, "I hereby order you to help with this hotel for as long as you desire."

A royal decree but not one that forces Alastor to stay at the hotel forever. She's giving him a choice and choices are probably seldom for Alastor due to him being leashed.

"Sometimes the best way to conquer an enemy is to get right in their face."

Another fitting quote from the Take the Lead film. I feel like Charlie's decision to let Alastor into the hotel was meant to keep him as close as possible by keeping a watchful eye on him so that he wouldn't be all over the city again back to his old ways.

It was Charlie's choice to defend Alastors sadistic way of defending the hotel. It was her choice to make a deal in exchange for valuable information because they were all in a desperate situation.

Charlie trusted that Alastor would "ask for one favor at a time of my choosing where you harm no one." No matter what the deal is, for her the most important part is that she wouldn't be obligated to hurt anyone once Alastor collects. It was her choice to make a risky decision because it would be for the good of all.

Charlie has more power in this "dance" of theirs than people think. If Charlie is unhappy, Alastor is unhappy. She is the one with the power because for whatever reason, Alastor's goal is to keep Charlie happy and fulfill her "every bizarre request."

Her trust to let Alastor into the hotel did have a pay off. She didn't expect him to change or care and yet he ended up "growing accustomed" to Charlie and the Hazbin gang and went all out in trying to protect them and the hotel from the angels.

Even when Alastor cashes in on the deal/inevitably betrays her, she'll understand that it was her choice to let him in, to work with him and to care about him enough to say she "loves" him, the Hazbin gang and the cannibals.

That's why it will also be her choice in trusting him to do the right thing at the perfect time and her choice to forgive him and let him back into her life. It will be her choice to allow him to be her partner in dance, business or anything else. That is why going back to the quote from earlier, "The woman really is the one with all the power in a dance."

[gachagon]

I watched the newest episode of The Amazing Digital Circus, and yeah I can already tell this is gonna be a great show. I think it manages to handle both its comedy and horror pretty well without one being less effective than the other.

The pilot was great, but I really like that episode 2 shows us a better picture of the characters than what we already thought about them. I think the most surprising character who's development was made really clear was Pomni.

In the pilot she's naturally apathetic and also freaking out about everything, and the promo material with her included seems to follow that same track record, but here in this episode Pomni does what Ragatha's been trying to do with her the whole time! She consoles this cute little gummy gator guy about his own existence and stuff in a really mature way that we just haven't seen Pomni do before.

This episode is really about the fear of not belonging or having an impact on other people. The beginning nightmare sequence where Pomni imagines herself being abstracted versus the end with Kaufmo's funeral really shows that what she's most afraid of is that she ultimately won't have a place here at all, even if being there terrifies her.

I think Pomni has come to terms with the idea that she won't be able to leave or find an exit right away, but the fear of not fitting into her role as the Jester and doing the same song and dance for eternity eats away at her.

The funeral is a really good coping skill for all of the people in the Circus (minus Jax who just didn't go to the funeral at all) because it eases the fear of not remembering any of the people you spent all that time with, but also eases the fear of being forgotten.

I can imagine the idea of Gummigoo not remembering Pomni but still being out there "Out of bounds" is sad, but unlike the people in the circus he can always come back and in a weird ironic twist always has a place in the world he's in. And even if he doesn't remember Pomni, she'll always remember him and that's the really important part.

Also can I just say that I love this little crocodile/gator man T_T He showed up with such a silly concept but I think he really added a lot to the episode. It makes me wonder what would've happened if he really was allowed to stay in the circus despite not being real.

The episode has a lot of themes about being aware of your own mortality and why you're even alive and what purpose you serve. And in the end, for Gummi he was able to stomach the truth of his own existence with the help of Pomni, but he decided to just keep it a secret from everyone else up above.

After he gets "poofed" its safe to say he'll always still exist just not in the way Pomni saw him. And whenever Cain wants to use him for a future quest, he'll still have the same old memories of his friends and his "sick mom" who needs syrup, but the knowledge of Pomni and being Out of Bounds will not be there.

Is it better that he doesn't know what's out there? That his mother isn't actually real, and that he and everyone he knows is just 1's and 0's in a computer? Or is it better if he does know and is able to cope with that reality? Likewise, should Pomni really even worry about trying to leave this world she's been forcefully thrust into, or should she just go with the flow and accept her place as the Jester in the circus?

Truly an "Ignorance is Bliss" kind of story. We already know from this episode alone that the one thing Jax craves is chaos but that's not because he's fallen in line with being a rabbit in the game or because he wants to leave.

I think Jax is an excellent parallel to Pomni in this episode. Where Pomni tries to peacefully cope with her place in the circus and possibly coexist with the world around her, Jax wants to do nothing but cause as much disruptions as possible. Jax has accepted long ago that he's not leaving, but instead of losing his mind over it he's just become an incredibly selfish person who only wants to take his entertainment from other people. He uses his veneer as the trickster rabbit to cause as much problems in their journey's as possible all so he himself won't go crazy.

And even though in the end he's not there to witness what happens to the candy people, I think just having something new to think about is enough for him in a weird way. While Pomni struggles with feeling like she belongs, Jax has been there for a long time and his biggest struggle is "disappointment". It's being so mind numbingly bored that you forget yourself.

This is leading me to believe that what causes people to abstract isn't finding the exit or thinking about the exit, but that it's more personal than that. Abstraction seems to be when someone really truly breaks under the pressure of being in the circus itself. All of the members of the circus seem to cope with being in the circus in different ways. For Gangle it's drawing and art, for Ragatha it's throwing herself into all of the journey's and just immersing herself as an actual "ragdoll" who's going on quirky adventures, Pomni just potentially found her way of coping which could be trying to just help other people with their own baggage and being an ear to listen to, and Kinger has by all means lost his marbles so as long as he's not thinking about how hard it is being in the circus he's fine.

I think Zooble's is to just not go on the adventure's at all or maybe we just haven't seen how they cope yet. I'm guessing that Kaufmo didn't really have a coping skill, either that or it became too much and he abstracted. I think his obsession with finding an exit had something less to do with the exit itself making him go insane, and more about the possibility of him remembering something he wasn't supposed to.

He probably regained his memory in some way and that was what led him down the spiral into abstraction, looking for a way out in any way he could.

[artofshinga]

A bit ago I did a whole-ass set of warlocks based on D&D 5e subclasses - mostly for fun and also because my RP group was planning a warlock game. I didn't HAVE to draw one of each but doing so DID help me decide which one I wanted to play (this is, to note, why the characters are all pretty fem-coded - because that's my favorite to RP) Anyway, after I drew them all, folks asked if I'd do other classes too. And I was like, maybe? But, sorcerer did sound fun to do this with so over the last few months I've been working on them kinda on the side while I put most my energy in, like, the commissions I need to finish lol. But here, a bunch of theoretical sorcerers I'd personally play in a game:

Let's start us off with Iris, a half-elf who'd be living a pretty normal life in a normal job (I was thinking she was probably a waitress or somethin) until she finds something weird - a piece of a meteor or something, you know how it goes. Suddenly she has powers, and that's where her adventure would begin More sorcerers under the cut!

Tally I struggled with because, as it turns out, little mechanical fairy wings are complicated to draw. BUT also fun - I liked the idea of a fairy who's lost her wings and while she's trapped in the material plane she befriends a clockmaker who builds her little wings for her and eventually her magic ends up kind of syncing up with the mechanical way he teaches her about the world

Elysia was actually the last one I drew, since I have a DIFFERENT Divine Soul sorcerer I've already designed and want to play as a priority, but then I happened to see something about Greek gods while watching TV one day and thought, oh hey, that'd be a fun way to play with a divinity-themed sorcerer - maybe a musician that caught the affections of a god who blessed her with magic

Cherish is a cheerful tiefling working at an inn with her former-adventurer mother. We can guess what sort of things her mother got up to in her adventure since she ended up raising a child with some mysteriously draconic features

NGL Aine was just a way for me to play with some of the inspirations I used to cling to as a kid. Sailor Moon and other various bits of anime and JRPGs and such that I loved in my youth and used a LOT to inspire art. I wanted to remember that - and a catgirl wearing too many belts sounded perfect for that

Leila is probably my weirdest - she's SPECIFIC, like if there's a campaign set in the Shadowfell or something, I imagined a maid working in a mansion that gets magicked away to this realm and her gaining that shadow power when it happens

One of my first 5e characters was a storm sorcerer - more focused on rain and lightning and thunder. I used the same hair color and close to the same skin color to make this new storm sorcerer as a bit of a nod to that character, and wanted this one more focused on winter storms (including making her a winter eladrin elf)

and last but certainly not least, Gemma the halfling cursed with wild magic. I think she started off her adventuring life with a thieves' group before they found the wrong magic artifact. You know how it goes

[captainmera]

Ahoy Captain! Question about ttocw if you haven't answered it already: how far into the toh timeline do you plan to write into ttocw?

I ask because you've laid down such an immensely intriguing foundation for each Witte-character, and like watching a sculptor take their chisel to the stone, we can already start to see how the various influences in Philip's life shapes him into the Belos we see in canon. BUT there's still the Phillip who outlives Caleb and Evelyn, the Phillip that meets Luz. Will you write that Phillip, too (even tho technically it's not longer a tale of Caleb W.)? It would be so fascinating to see how you portray his frame of mind at that stage, but if you feel it doesn't fit with the story, I would understand too

I wanted to get to the point of when Caleb leaves the final time.

Meaning he's gone back and forth a few times.

It could be that Evelyn stayed in the HR and Caleb never visited the DR until when he's Spirited away thru the portal. OR he's visited a few times, and then either thought he'd be back or decided he wouldn't go back.

In my version he's gone back and forth, he knows the DR, he likes it there, and due to *events* he decides to leave for good. And I want to write what builds up to him making that decision. Its a very "noooo, I mean I get it, it makes sense youd think that and do that, but nooooooo"

There are a couple of unanswered things in regards to gravesfield and the wittebros. And Evelyn visiting.

The show is LITTERED with breadcrumbs of intended story that never got any closure.

In TOH, it shows that they're both being lured into the realm of a witch. For example.

But I think that's just referring to that Caleb was "taken" and Philip followed, but that they both knew Evelyn.

The depiction of their ages, and their age gap, has been very inconsistent throughout the show. But I think it's safe to say they settled on this:

Being the most accurate, as this is when the creators solidified the actual gravesfield folklore tale about them. So the meta here is that the crew knows what their ages are, and even if the contemporary citizens of gravesfield doesn't - its a cartoon and they're showing us the information they have finalised.

At some point they hunt Evelyn, or at least "the dangerous witch", so I imagine that Evelyn visiting probably suddenly gave them a real physical person to try hunt down and pin all of the town's previous witchcraft on.

I want to write about how the imaginary threat of hysteria suddenly gets real cause. Suddenly, it's a game of who-done-it.

And if you've read my *down memory lane comic*, you might have a hunch that Philip finds out its Evelyn. And thinks Caleb is bewitched, etc.

ANYWAY,

There's also this mystery, yeah? The portal Caleb runs through is not the same as the one at the graveyard.

It does resemble the one they come through tho. So there's two portals that connect with the same arch in the demon realm. Or the old HR portal got a reconstruction by someone who added the Gravesfield bird symbol.

And yes, the owl door goes to the SUITCASE. And the suitcase door has an eye of a Titan. But the bird motifs makes e think of the one-eyed owl inside the owl house.

We know Belos at least made blueprints of the suitcase door. But he mightve just tried to replicate it.

ANYWAY,

I think once Caleb crosses over for the last time. I'm not sure if I'll continue it or I'd I'm full of ideas. As it looks r/n, I think I've got a lot to write for it as us anyway with Caleb and Evelyn going from friends-to-lovers.

And as that happens, Philip has his own sub-story and arc going on, all then cultivating into the climax the way that it does. The brothers part ways. Reunite, etc.

So I think it's best for me not to make promises where I put the end pin. It's supposed to be fun and a good writing exercise. :,)

But yes,I've got some breadcrumb milestones I want/need to check off.

The courthouse on fire being one too lol.

[matan4il]

911 ep 706 first watch reactions

Buck and Eddie setting up the bachelor party are so funny. They're married to a degree that the bride and groom can only aspire to one day achieve. And Madney are raising a kid together! Then again, so are Buddie, and have been since day 2... (day 1 is forever Buck ogling Eddie at the station, and Eddie strutting his stuff for him, with Buck's now canonically jealou-traction being the, ummm, lubricant)

Oh, Tommy just arrived, Buck and him have done nothing but hug, and Eddie's already bringing on the jealousy jealou-traction. IDK what is the etiquette about bringing your date to a bachelor party, but what's the rule about bringing your hubby who's jealous of your bf?

Oh, and an extra jab at Buck bringing Tommy officially as his date to the wedding. I love me a jealous Eddie. My dude, your closet is shaking so hard, it's about to push you out of itself if you don't make the move already.

Okay, in all seriousness, Tommy not dressing like the 80's, Buck showing that he really cared about that silly party theme, Eddie rolling with it, the two of them being dressed more as a couple than the actual guys dating, Buddie seeing things so much in the same way (down to both seeing themselves as the same character from Miami Vice) while Buck and Tommy are totally out of sync... I love that Tommy is there to help Buck figure himself out, but also, this is the stuff that will forever keep me shipping Buddie.

I know the flashback is mainly to show that the bachelor party is Buck's idea, and goes against Chim's wishes, but Eddie suggests the couple costume? And Buck was so readily on board? Even when he knew Tommy would also be invited? This is my house catching fire, while I sit here, mumbling to myself how fine it all is...

Okay, everyone leaving the bachelor party, even the guy Buck is dating, while Eddie stays, sure is something. And by "something" I mean "a couple." That's a couple. That's Buck's partner in everything, even dumb ass 80's costumes and failed bachelor parties, he's the one who jumps in whatever stupid plan Buck comes up with, and stays to deal with the mess.

LOL And then we got some REAL mess. Again, dumb Buck idea, and Eddie just rolling with it. Making it worse even, by suggesting how to take the party (made up of people who don't even know the groom) to Chimney. These two deserve each other. XD

Buck was behind Eddie while his shirt was being torn? Presumably helping with the tearing? That's it, 911 does not want me to make it to the end of the season with my sanity intact. I guess it's good that I'm not even trying...

I'm glad there was a representation of Chim and Kevin, and a Korean tradition, I just hope it was a truthful one. (do we have Korean viewers in our midst to chime in on this?)

Maddie using her 911 skills to find and help Chim is pretty badass (and a nice gender reversal of the 'damsel in distress needing to be saved a sec before her wedding' tale). Love it!

Maddie and Chim looked so happy during their wedding. Honestly, at the end of the day, my little hopelessly romantic heart doesn't need more than that. <3

Awwww, the Buck and Tommy kiss was nice. I think the most important part of it is we got to see Buck for the first time daring to kiss another guy, rather than wait to be kissed. I may bbe a Buddie shipper, but I think this r/s is important to Buck as well, to his ability to find what he wants, to not be scared of it, to not wait for others to want him as was the case with all the women he'd dated, but rather figure out what he wants in a certain moment, and that it's okay for him to go get it.

(I still don't think Tommy is Buck's endgame, though. Much as his probably my fave Buck r/s so far other than Eddie. Tommy not being there for Buck when the bachelor party flunked, him not being there at the wedding itself, to share this significant moment with Buck, being almost incidental to Buck's coming out to his colleagues and parents, other than being a gay that was obviously kissed by Buck just a short while ago... Again, just not the stuff great love stories are made of)

Hen going, "Finally!" to Karen was funny and cute. Everyone (almost) just smiling at Buck's coming out was nice. But the way his mom reacted in particular felt more realistic, and made me wish that at least with his parents, who we know he has a strained r/s with, the should would have allowed this to be more explored. Hopefully in a future ep if not now.

Thank you for reading! If you're looking for more, you can find my s7 reactions tag here, and more of my Buddie meta and content in my pinned post. xoxox

[bibibbon]

Characters with wasted potential: takami kegio

Oh hawks and the debates I have seen circulating around his character. He could of been a well written and thoroughly interesting and complex character but we know where that went.

I have got my own problems with hawks in canon. This is gonna be more of a ramble than anything else so enjoy.

His interactions with characters. A lot of the interactions that hawks has with different characters could of been so complex and intriguing if done right sadly MHA fails at that. Hawks views Enji todoroki the number two hero as his saviour from his abusive father so obviously hawks is a huge Endeavour fan who puts him on a pedestal. So we expect him to face an internal conflict when he finds out that his own saviour is an abuser to his own family but NOPE WE GET NOTHING. Hawks is physically not allowed to change or think about this and stays as a static character. Hawks and lady nagant have a lot of parallels and I found it Hella confusing when I learnt that lady nagant WASN'T hawk's former mentor and if she was that would of added a lot more depth to them in the vigilante arc. Hawks and tokoyami, look I love their mentor and mentoee relationship and how hawks actively encourages tokoyami to do things also it's Hella implied that the two are close and end up doing silly things on internships which I think is really fun. However I think the bit in the vigilante arc when hawks isn't answering tokoyamis calls and tokoyami is worried about him was handled poorly. I also think tokoyamis reaction to hawks being a killer is handled poorly. Hawk's actions during the first war arc and him killing twice could of been complex to him if handled well but we are led to believe that he was in the right in killing twice when hawks had the power to easily knock out twice, transport him to a jail cell and destroy all the clones before anything bad happens considering that hawks is known for his fastness, strength and agility .

Wasted potential in introduced plot aspects about him. Hawks is introduced as the 3rd top hero and compared to those before him he is young. He has a very charismatic and two faced nature that he has sharpened and learnt to use with the training the HPSC gave him. Hawks is a spy assassin that is supposed to act as a charismatic hero celebrity. In a way after all mights retirement hawks and enji became the most popular faces in Japan. Hawks was bred for this position yet that isn't expanded on neither is it developed well on. Hawk's actions during MVA and the first war arc are complex as they're coming from both genuine truth and lie. Hawks feels trapped literally and metaphorically having to live a life that isn't his and entertain people, always being watched from a cage. That's the story he tells the league and some of it to tokoyami and this is the truth to him. Hawks also killed twice BECAUSE HE BELIEVED it was the only option he had when in fact IT WASNT THE ONLY OPTION and by hawks trying to escape the cage and differentiate himself from the HPSC he ends up following and obeying them all along.

Lack of agency. As a character hawks lacks agency to do things or act. There are things that hawks isn't allowed to do even though it fits his narrative clearly. Hawks isnt allowed to have any negative feelings towards enji todoroki and what he did, heck he isn't even allowed to INTROPSECT on such a thing. Hawks isn't allowed to fully be developed or have any source of introspection, it would of been great if we saw more of what hawks thought about what he did to twice and what toga is trying to do. Hawks also doesn't say much when it comes to the HPSC and how they treated him the closest thing we get to intropsection in that case is him telling lady nagant that he is an extremely optimistic guy.

These are my main problems with hawks, Iam aware that there may be more.

I actually enjoyed hawk's introduction in the manga which was chapter 185 during the changing of the hero popularity polls. Hawks was presented as this complex character who isn't what he seems from the beginning. The first few panels we see him and he is comedically exaggerating his actions aka zipping his mouth and not talking or being overall very expressive however, when he does start to talk he is shown to cleary express his views and has stated that he hates the general bs thay heroes sprout about them wanting to uphold the law more than enjoying the luxuries that hero work gives them. He then takes the mic and proceeds to 'spice things up' by calling out enji on how disliked he is by the civilians. He claims this is something he did to help enji when in fact it didn't help him at all. To me this first interaction already establishes him as a walking contradiction.

His relationship with tokoyami. Their relationship first started in a way for hawks to gain information about 1A and he definitely wasn't being sneaky about it considering that tokoyami could see right through him. Tokoyami at the time only wanted to learn from hawks and was heavily upset and confused as to why hawks taught him nothing and was only using him. However, as time passed by they actually started to form a proper mentor and student relationship which I really enjoyed. When hawks was asked why he chose tokoyami he said that they are from the same feather, basically insinuating that he felt like it was somewhat his duty since he and tokoyami are both bird mutants to a certain extent. As a mentor hawks taught his student to have fun and chill out as tokoyami is a very grounded person (literally and metaphorically). Hawks inspired tokoyami to fly and majority of tokoyamis moves are some stuff that he either learnt or was inspired from with hawks. There's also the fact that it's heavily implied that a lot of the time hawks and tokoyami did goof out a bit considering that tokoyami has 'scandalous pictures' of hawks. However, I wish we actually got more of this relationship especially after tokoyami finds out that hawks killed twice. In the manga when tokoyami finds out of such a thing he automatically protects hawks and thinks he is in the right. I disagree with that and I think it would of been better to have it so that tokoyami protects hawks from Dabi not because he is a hero who done no wrong but because he is his mentor who he deeply cares for. I would also have it so that tokoyami starts to question who hawks really is?, is he a good person?, did tokoyami do the right thing helping hawks? Etc etc. in the vigilante arc, it's stated that tokoyami tried to contact hawks multiple times to no avail however this isn't expanded on. I would have it so that hawks is avoiding tokoyami on purpose because he is ashamed and scared of what his student will think of him. At the end they have a conversation and talk it out with tokoyami understanding that what hawks did was wrong but he deeply cares for him whereas hawks understands just how valuable his relationship with tokoyami really is. In the end, I ended up liking what happend with hawks and tokoyami both protecting eachother in the final arc and growing stronger as a mentor and student. Hawks learns to protect the youth and break the cycle that he was trapped in while learning what a hero means to others from tokoyamis perspective.

Hawks and twice . Hawks managed to build a good relationship with twice as the dumb and overly optimistic MVA member. Twice had potential to be saved but hawks ended up killing him. I have reread this part of the manga and I have my mixed opinions on this however, there are two ways I would change this 1) have hawks kill toga instead and have twice and toga switch places as it makes way more sense or 2) have hawks try to quickly take down twice by knocking him out and trying to transport him somewhere get before he can achieve that Dabi comes in and intervenes finally making hawks too slow to do anything and having him end up killing twice. Option 2 is what happend in the manga with hawks being too slow (ironic considering that hawks is praised on speed) to truly save twice and ends up taking his life so twice doesn't escape and doom them all. The problem is that hawks starts on the offensive (something I like), hawks thinks that killing twice is the only way to avoid everything or at least massively injuring him would stop it. Sadly, hawks could of easily convinced twice to back down considering how easily swayed twice is and that he only did the things he did because he thought there was no way out or wanted to help his friends. Before their fight begins however, hawks talks about not being swayed by nice words and connections he built with twice which makes me think that he didn't want to kill him but due to his mindset and pov he ended up killing him because HE THOUGHT IT WAS THE ONLY OPTION HE HAD (It wasn't)

His involvement in the MVA. Hawks first starts as a double spy for the HPSC. Through the MVA arc we see him do questionable things in the name of other people safety however, we see his actions backfire badly. Hawks tries to quickly and swiftly gain the leagues trust yet he isn't fast enough, he tries to quickly inform the heroes and the HPSC of how dangerous and out of hand this situation yet he fails and many things are caused by him (the fastest hero alive) not being quick enough to do anything. He 'kills' beat jeanist in the name of gaining the trust of the MVA yet that does nothing to get him up the system and just makes it that best jeanists help is out of the table for the majority of the arc. Hawks joining the MVA was useful for the league as they were going to parade him around so people can join him yet I still wonder how the mainstream media didnt catch a whiff of what hawks was up to or how he simply abandoned hero society (even though he was a double spy). Hawks also talks to the league why he joined the MVA and uses his own story (somewhat of the truth of his life) how he feels like a bird trapped in a cage one that can't fly freely this can be interpreted in many ways. 1) he doesn't have the right to freely use his quirk to any extent he wants which is something that MVA stands for or 2) he feels trapped by his own life choices, him becoming a hero especially the number 2 and has a lot of eyes on him watching him like a circus animal with every move he makes so he puts on an act and never drops the mask.

Hawks and toga himiko . Toga himiko should of either been killed by hawks in place of twice which would of made him get more backlash by the public and make tokoyami question him even more considering that hawks somewhat mercilessly killed a 16 year old (the same age as tokoyami) in cold blood for justice so he could also do it to him. Or we should of gotten a hawks Vs toga battle in the final arc instead of a afo Vs hawks one. It would of made way more sense. Considering that hawks killed twice who is very dear to toga she should of had her eyes set on hawks death the minute she chose to join the lov and the final war. We should of gotten an intense and emotional battle between them were hawks has to come to terms that he didn't need to kill twice but he thought that it was the only option he had and he watches as toga uses twices quirk knowing that twices death was meaningless as toga is using his quirk in the way he feared it would be used. Hawks would be almost killed until ochako intervenes and has her battle with toga while hawks goes and fights alongside tokoyami.

Hawk's views on lady nagant. Lady nagant should of been hawk's mentor and he should of been her replacement. In canon hawks is only her replacement and I think it would of added more nuance and overall better writing if she was his mentor. I absolutely loved the parallels that those two shared and how they came out on different side of things however, I do think that we should of seen more of hawks getting the backhand treatment from the public considering that him killing twice was on live television. Honestly it surprised me that hawks killing twice isn't what the public was most upset with him about but they were upset with him having an abusive and villain father which honestly says a lot. I also think that they should of had more screentime to talk, hawks helped save lady nagant and she ended up asking him how he still has hope while he says that he is "optimistic". Iam not a huge fan of this moment and I think it could of been written better. Hawks and lady nagant are two sides of the same coin but dam did I hate hawks holding her burnt body and telling her that he was her replacement, it could of been handled better with hawks and her actually having somewhat of a fight and then some of the conversation happening after the explosion.

Hawks and the todoroki family . Oh boy I can feel that this is gonna be a long one. I found it interesting that hawks actually looked up and admired endeavour and I loved the parallels it gave both hawks and Dabi. However, I hated that hawks wasn't allowed to think or have any intropsection after hearing about what enji did or that he didn't go through a bit of a crisis over it. The fact that hawk's character has simply been reduced to enji Todorokis biggest supporter is my biggest problem with hawks. Dabi and hawks were very interesting to me (no I don't ship them) they're simply two sides of the same coin especially in the ways they act. Dabi is consistent on revenge whereas hawks is the opposite, Dabi hates enji whereas hawks admires enji and so on and so on. I do think that it would of been way more interesting if touya and kegio had actual history behind everything going on so I have always liked the HC that they met in the HPSC training scheme and became friends. It's plausible and makes Dabi saying hawk's real name way more meaningful than Dabi finding it out by threatening hawk's mother. I also think that both of them sharing a form of history yet not trusting eachother is hella interesting. Dabi was probably one of the only characters (aside from Izuku and tokoyami) that could see through some of hawks actions. Dabi knew what hawks will do yet never tried to intervene until it benefited him of course in true icon fashion that is. I also find hawk's relationship with the youngest todoroki interesting but I think it was done horribly. I would of liked to see more scenes with hawks and shoto talking about enji and touya or just scene of them that draw the similarities they have.

I would also have hawks be semi involved in the whole mutant racism plot because we need that to be fleshed out. Does hawks help donate to charities that help mutants? Is he against such people? Or doe hawks himself face such discrimination? To be honest I doubt it considering that his mutation is on the "prettier side" of the mutations and wouldn't face discrimination like shoji did

Hawks also had potential to interact with other characters like todoroki which would of highlighted his thoughts and development on the families matter. There is also Izuku midoriya who in a way is in somewhat of a similar circumstance to hawks and they could of had that whole is there another way to save villains like twice and shigaraki without killing them or is death the only way or just general conversation between the two considering that tokoyami was stated to praise izuku so much that hawks considered taking him as an intern. In one of the side comics you also had Izuku be somewhat suspicious of hawks and his abilities and it's also somewhat hinted in the main manga so it's interesting to have them have a conversation about that.

I personally think that hawks should of received concequences for his actions and one of them being hindered quirk use aka his wings don't grow back properly or everytime he uses them he can't use them to their fullest potential due to how injured he was by Dabis fire. Also, I hate how hawks being used by the commission is almost brought as a second thought, like when the HPSC fell we really didn't get much of hawk's personal reaction or thoughts or anything on the matter it seems like a quite empty point even though it had its potential to Futher develop hawks

In conclusion, hawks character introduction was pretty solid and I really liked some of the aspects that the series gave him like making him a walking contradiction to a certain extent but I do think that horikoshi development of hawks character was horrible and the fact that hawks lacks agency to do many things or reflect on things irritates me very much.

[ilaria-jinx]

Spoilers for Season 5 below!!

Okay I’m gonna say this with literally so much love for the Penumbra Podcast and everyone involved in the podcast but-

Season 5 is weird, right? I can’t really describe how it feels, not well, but…

It’s like… it’s like all of the characters and the storylines shifted to the left a bit, but we didn’t really get any reason for it? In the Juno storyline, the Grandpappy’s Recipe episode is where it stands out the most to me - Peter’s attempt at gaining the recipe opened an eye into some new dimension for me, for example. Genuinely convincing someone he’s in love with them, conning someone for literal months… that’s never ever seemed like Peter’s style. He’s an in-and-out man. And Grandpappy was so, so sure, too. When did Peter start manipulating people like that so effectively? I knew he was good, but… this feels bad. Like, he feels bad. I have never gotten the sense that Peter was a genuinely bad person before. Stuck in a terrible situation, yes. But… bad? No.

And the way Juno only lingers on Peter’s con for literally only a second feels so off to me too. Because by the start of the next episode, he’s gone straight back into business mode, and concentrated on finding Nureyev. Juno has become kinder in these years, but I have never felt he was a fool. And yet. He doesn’t… he doesn’t actually give any thought to it, not really?? Like. I don’t- I don’t get it. The way he handles the whole thing between Nureyev and Slip, too, especially after Nureyev says he doesn’t want to see him anymore.

And can we talk about how weird it is that the Docana group managed to go years without anyone finding out they’ve been up-lifing or revivifying or whatever they call it so many people? I genuinely didn’t understand the surprise there, I’m so sorry (this is not sarcasm, I’m genuinely sorry for making an overly bold claim).

And can we look at the way that Juno and Rita are somehow closer than they’ve ever been, but Rita is suddenly so much edgier than she ever was before. She’s so much less bubbly than she ever was before. “But!” You cry, “she just finished being an intergalactic fugitive, of course she’s edgy!” Except she was an intergalactic fugitive for a WHILE and she was still acting like… well, like a kid in a candy shop, mostly. And to me, there are instances where it seems like her character has almost been back-filled, like they’re trying to make it look like she’s always been this way. The “Rita Special” comes to mind (although I might be reading into this one, it just feels really weird to me).

Also, there are dialogue decisions that I can’t make sense of. The way that Warner Jane is literally talking about Freedom in Chains, and the Prisma Crystal Chimes, and THEN refers to it as “this other show I’m putting on” before re-describing it as Freedom in Chains? I don’t get that. Things like that have been happening a lot this season, at least from what I can tell.

I can’t make sense of the storyline. Every episode feels completely different from the last, and all the characters feel off. It’s… it almost feels like I’m trying to jump between really tilted and oddly-spaced steps when I listen. It’s like… it’s like the plot is setting us up for a breakup between Peter and Juno, but then the way they talk to one another / Juno narrates about Peter is like they’re still going to try to be together after everything? It’s… it’s weird.

And then Second Citadel!

They’re dealing with a literal apocalypse, and it’s like… everyone was losing their minds in the standard way, and then it’s like they took an invisible off-ramp from the highway.

Can we talk about Quanyii? What HAPPENED to them? I know they lost their mind in the Mirrored Plains. I get it. But they strangled Damien? But the insanity that is killing the child they’ve literally known for going on 8 years? What? Caroline fighting her own wife?? Excuse me???

And Damien in the Indomitable Duelist is OFF. I don’t know why, I don’t know how, but something is very obviously WRONG with him. He started acting nutty the second he got to Rilla and Tal in the Senate’s dungeons. Like… so desperate? And crazy? The high-pitched voice, the losing track of sentences, the distraction - all of it is so wrong to me. (That might be a plot device for later, so please don’t yell at me)

Arum is locked in Mark’s basement, which like - don’t even get me started on that, because I will literally never stop screaming about it, but even that feels wrong. How can Mark - the same guy who rescued Olala, who treated her as the child she was, and recognized her as such, straight up imprison his best friend’s love interest? I know it’s been 8 years. I know. But it’s really, really weird.

And that’s not even focusing on the actual plot line, which is, for the record, WILD. I love it, I really do, I also don’t get it and I don’t know if I ever will. I cannot fathom how they will save their entire universe from the attack that is coming. I do not get it. We are playing with forces beyond my ken, but it seems to me like the situation is… literally hopeless. The entire rest of all the universes, however many there are, are dead set on the destruction of this one, tiny universe. How can anyone possibly hope to fight that? I understand that our characters have no choice except to fight. But we as listeners - we have to recognize that it’s like… kind of futile, right? Is that what this ending is leading to? Futility?

I just. I really can’t figure out how either of these stories are supposed to go anymore.

One of the things I have always loved about the Penumbra Podcast is that while you never get the ending you expect, it always ends sort of hopefully, or at least with some kindness. Yes, Juno walks out at the end of Season 1, but he’s not leaving Hyperion. Second Citadel season 2 has everyone in a really bad spot, but the gang leaves the citadel for better lives. It’s sad, but it’s better, because life moves on and people move on. In this season… I feel like I can’t find that. I feel like I’m expecting some dramatic out of character 180 (in Juno) / a huge over-powered magic trick (in SC) to fix the plot, or else both plots are going to end in heartbreak and futility and sadness.

I feel like I never left the April Fool’s episode.

Please, please understand, I love this podcast so much, I am not trying to hate on anyone or anything. This podcast means so much more to me than I can possibly express. I’m just really confused, I guess? And I’m wondering if anyone else is also confused? Or if someone can explain things? Please, please, if I am wrong, or confused, or completely stupid - someone please tell me what I am missing. Please tell me I’m interpreting things wrong, and how to see it right.

[nymph-ette111]

Hi, could i ask for some headcanons for Toby, Ej and Ben with a S/O who gets easily lost, like even getting lost in the most absurd places

(♡) Authors note; my first request LET'S GOOO 💪 I'm still not used to writing headcanons but I really want to, and I realized that I started quite blindly :') I should've made some character analysis or aus beforehand but oh well. I'll do it another time but for now, here you go <3 also not proofread so ignore any mistakes

TOBY;

- this man is the embodiment of attachment issues. It took a pretty long time for him to crack open his protective shell, and once he did he swore to never leave your side.

- I imagine this happening whenever you two are outside, which rarely happens. I mean...he finally found a lover, he won't risk them running away because let's be honest, he probably kidnapped you but that's another story.- you two were just taking a stroll in some area and then all of a sudden you're gone. Completely out of sight.

- low-key panics once he realizes that you're not beside him anymore.- will literally search the whole entire place for you, calling out your name multiple times. He doesn't care if some passerby hears him. He will find you.

- once he catches a mere glimpse of you, he's immediately running over. It's clear that he's upset, he really thought you took the chance to run away since he finally warmed up to the idea of going outside and not keeping you locked up in his stinky ass cabin (please get this man a proper home he really needs it)

- good luck convincing him that you just wandered off because he would not believe you. After a while he might let it go but best believe the little walk you two planned is cut short. He's taking you back to his place as soon as possible.

- it might take him some time to let you go outside again since he's still a little suspicious. And now he's even more clingy but hey, we're not complaining. Who wouldn't want Toby by their side 24/7?

EYELESS JACK;

-quite similar to Toby, this cannibalistic demon finally found someone who actually loves him (which he still doesn't get what you see in him) let's just say...he wouldn't be very happy about the situation.

-would also think you were running away from him. After the whole failed cult sacrifice thing and him losing his vision, his other senses are now heightened. He'd use that to his advantage to find you.

-which isn't too hard for him, you didn't wander far since he probably heard you as soon as you walked away.

-he isn't angry, just worried. He starts to look after you more often, always keeping an eye out Incase you get lost again (...he doesn't have eyes:3)

-it becomes a little thing where whenever you start to walk off, he's dragging you back by the collar of your shirt so you don't get lost again.

BEN;

-this isn't much of a problem for him, sure he'd be quite confused at first because where the fuck are you going?

-this little fucker probably finds it amusing, not even doing anything about it just to see you get lost.

-eventually guides you back to wherever you two were originally. Like I said, it isn't a problem for him and he won't panic like the others since he is literally a ghost...he could just teleport to you whenever.

-most of the time he drags it out to see you get scared once you realize you wandered off again and can't seem to find your way back but he'll still help you. Just after a long time because he's an asshole like that.

[demonslayedher]

i know it would be out of character for most of the remaining hashira aside from shinobu to take tsuguko, but i always thought it was such a nice concept that i wondered what the other hashira would be like if they had direct successors as well. we can tell roughly what rengoku and uzui would be like, but i think its interesting to think about what giyuu, obanai, and sanemi specifically would be like since they're canonically considered scary/hard to talk to (if this this too detailed an ask you can skip or delete it, i don't mind ^^)

If Oyakata-sama orders them all to take Tsuguko, that would be all it took to get them to do it, I think.

Himejima might shrug and finally officially take Genya as a Tsuguko, since there aren't any better choices anyway. The best choice is a boy who can't even use Breath technique? This makes him cry about the state of the Corp.

Rengoku would be unflinching Rengoku at any point in a Hashira-Tsuguko relationship, but it would have been really, really nice to see more of Uzui taking Zenitsu under his wing. They would have the loudest Hashira-Tsuguko relationship with how prone they'd likely get to yelling at each other.

Speaking of loud ones, if we're giving Uzui only one of the Kamaboko boys, I want Sanemi to take Inosuke. After all, Beast Breathing is said to be similar to Wind Breathing. If Sanemi had someone who he saw more like an equal I think he wouldn't mind, but for most Corp members, there's such a gap in strength that he'd get into the habit of telling them to stay out of the way and just doing everything himself. He'd need someone who (usually) does not listen when's told to back down. Unlike how Giyuu handled Inosuke's excitement by tying him up and not engaging with him, Inosuke is more likely to set Sanemi off and actually get him to engage in a fight, which Inosuke would find thrilling. After enough of this, it would also leave Sanemi more convinced that Inosuke can handle himself and doesn't need to be protected.

If this is an AU in which Rengoku lives, that's bad news for Giyuu, who otherwise would have taken Tanjiro whdn he was ordered to take a Tsuguko. (But he's not like everyone else anyway, that doesn't apply to him.) If he really must, Giyuu just doesn't know that many other Corp members... so he asks Murata, and Murata is both honored and terrified. Murata does improve by sparring with Giyuu and following him on his training regimen, but Giyuu doesn't do much more than that. (Hanging out more makes them both happy, though.)

While I'm handing out Kamaboko Tsuguko, Nezuko is technically a Corp member alliwed on special circumstances, so Mitsuri is claiming her. Nobody else has the strength and limberness to keep up with Love Breath training, after all, so it had to be a demon. Nezuko picks up some new moves but it others doesn't wind up being very applicable to her so it mostly the girls hanging out.

Iguro was pretty resistant to it, but orders are orders. He finds a Water Breath user with some aptitude who knows how to be respectful to a master, so even though Iguro doesn't see that much potential in him, he nonetheless likes seeing how well the guy improves with dedicated feedback. (The guy has figured out that he stays on Iguro's good side by just keeping things serious and never talking back, which he's terrified to even try so he hasn't said a word about how he nearly collapses after every training session with how desperately he tries to keep up.)

Muichiro did complain that nobody is worth bothering with. He tried to skirt the requirement by claiming Kotetsu, but this was not allowed. After a suggestion from Shinobu, he instead claimed Aoi, who was very startled by this. He trains her as a formality (but it nonetheless raises her confidence) and little by little they bond over realizing they met at the Final Selection, so at least he gained a friend even if he doesn't really consider her a Tsuguko.