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keepyourpantsongohan · 8 months

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Ayesha Liveblogs Attack on Titan S4

Heading into the next season b4 I can think too much about it

Who are any of these soldiers? What an abrupt change in narration, considering Armin has done every intro until now

“Wasn’t I just flying around with a couple of swords in my hands? And there were Titans too.” That is also what I’m wondering, Falco

“The successor to the Armoured Titan.” PARDON?? ALSO DOES REINER HAVE A BEARD NOW??? THAT’S NEW

So wait, if the loss of Bertholdt and Annie’s Titans are what caused the war, does that mean this war has been going for a year, since the battle of Shiganshina? Or has more time elapsed that I’m not aware of

“This war has dragged on for four years now.” I guess that answers my earlier question, assuming my premise was true

I must once again offer a hearty ‘Military bad’ to all of this:

“Look, Colt, you’re the chosen successor of the Beast Titan.” How do ur Titan soldiers feel exactly when u tell them u’ve chosen who’s gonna eat ‘em

"Honestly, you might never find a warrior candidate who is as talented as me.” What I would give for Gabi’s level of unwavering self-confidence

“I don’t shoot kids,” said an adult, for the first time ever in the history of this show

Honestly, the context that Reiner, Annie and Bertholdt knew about the outside world and then still chose to make things worse for the people already living in Titan Hell Island just makes them harder to understand

[Zeke yells out of a blimp] [Dozens of parachuting Titans are created mid-air] So the Beast Titan ability is just to fucking??? Yell people into Titans??? ZEKE WHAT ON EARTH

This does explain where all of those Titan ppl were coming from in Shiganshina tho

“I’m sick and tired of all these walls.” Is that why you kept destroying them, Reiner??????

As a sidenote, now that there are visibly brown people on screen: The ONLY action anime that hasn’t made me feel weird about their brown-skinned characters is Bleach; granted I haven’t watched that many shows, but the depiction in AOT is about as yikes as I expected

[ATLA voice] “Did Reiner just die?” “You know, it was really unclear.”

“My father, Grisha Jaeger, set something great and terrible in motion on that island, and as his former son, I would like to be the end of it,” said Zeke, like he had nothing to do with anything terrible happening on Paradis and as if he can renounce paternity like a belief system

So it’s not a known factor that Zeke has royal blood? Also why is royal blood so important in this show lmao like isn’t a king just whoever conquered ur country most recently

Ymir confirmed for bury ur gays (poor Historia) but when one female Titan disappears, another one must apparently reappear

Also weird that there have been a number of Titans who are women but Annie gets to hold the Female Titan title just cause her Titan got tiddies

Reiner being an older brother figure to these Other Military Kids gives me acid reflux why am I compelled to have stake in someone who has done so many wrongs

“Surpass Gabi to protect her.” You see, ACID REFLUX

Also nausea-inducing: The transparent H******** analogies!! WHY

We interrupt this griping to notice: IS THAT EREN IN MARLEY WITH THE BLINDFOLD? THAT LOOKS LIKE EREN’S HAIR

Setting other things aside, that they had to have Reiner’s uncle say “Sorry nephew,” as a way to intro the fact that Reiner and Gabi are cousins is funny, bc no one would say that, why not just have Reiner say “Uncle”????

Because they’ve yet to check in at all with what has been going on on the island, it really does feel like a whole different spin-off

Annie’s being able to summon Pure Titans confirmed as a Female Titan ability

“Well, I’m running away as fast as I can,” said Reiner’s father, summing up the attitude of almost every parental figure on this show

Mad relate to Reiner becoming reliable to fulfill a need in the team

Reiner, Annie and Bertholdt don’t look older than 12 in the flashback, why must the core force of these armies always be pubescent

What even was the point of Annie tracking Kenny? Bc he was Uncle Uri’s BF?

“His legs are saying it’ll snow today, right?” “Yeah, but his torso’s saying clear skies.” Thomas and Connie using Bertholdt’s sleep positions to predict the weather 😭😭😭😭😭 Boys ur friend is a douche

“Thing is, I don’t want this other candidate to be picked.” “Why not? Is this rival of yours a girl by chance?” It’s DEFINITELY Eren, and wow, Eren assuming the only reason u would not want ur friend to be a Titan is bc she’s a girl, quit projecting ur life onto Falco

How exactly is Eren missing a leg can he STOP himself from regenerating?

Also whose idea was it for Eren to be at exactly the place that wants to kill him the most kjghkgjh what kinda weirdass plan

“I’m doing this for you!” “He really just up and said it!” The guards being invested in Gabi and Falco’s potential tween romance

I really cannot follow the Commander and Willy’s conversations, are they going to overthrow the governments of the world orrrrrr

“My name’s Jaeger, I’m an internment zone physician.” Oh my god, Eren’s meeting his grandpa

Ah, so Eren’s crazed rambling is hereditary, I guess

“I think I know why [this woman would save me]! She must be an Easterner from Hizuru.” Dshkjdhkfjh u must be East Asian in this Marleyan society in order to acquire empathy

Perplexed by the man in the kaffiyeh holding alcohol but perhaps that’s on me for not interrogating my own preconceived notions

“I got [Reiner] to come!” announced Falco to Eren excitedly, not knowing that he was facilitating a meeting of probably the two least sane people in the world at the moment

Lmao @ the sudden content warning on episode 64, like should I be newly worried

“What do you plan to do?” “The exact same thing you did. As for why? That’s the same too.” Incredible that all it takes to threaten Reiner is ‘I’m rubber you’re glue’ (also yikes at Eren implying he’s gonna fuck-up one third of Reiner’s country)

“I feel like I’ve seen you before.” Me too Pieck, I think Shady Helmet is Annie, and I love that for her

Falco’s lesson of the day: Stranger Danger

What exactly has Eren been doing the past four years that he now views himself as a villain and Willy feels confident to label him as such in a crowd of the whole world

“If all that was to save the world, then you didn’t have much choice,” said Eren, even though Reiner definitely did, and Eren definitely does now (military bad!!!)

Eren has defeated Reiner through the power of empathy and 10 years of deep-seated psychological trauma

“If I escaped while my people died en masse, the world would not rally to our cause.” Willy Tybur really willingly offered himself and a bunch of civilians to die to both smoke out Eren and to start a world war. And Eren really went through it, knowing he would be offering the first blow in the war, and killing a bunch of people of his same heritage! A game of cat and also cat (war crime edition)

“But I’m just as sure that we’re devils ourselves.” Who’s he calling the devils? Him and Tybur? The military? Non-Eldians as a whole? Commander Magath’s vibes are constantly oscillating, what’s his deal

I’m going to guess that the War Hammer Titan is Finé, since she is the only Tybur child to get a name

Update from 6 minutes later: It’s Auntie War Hammer, actually

The parallels between Udo and Eren trying to lift something off of their loved ones who have been crushed by debris. Sickening

Is it wrong to be happy that the Scouts are finally showing up? I mean, everyone is clearly on Murder Avenue, but hey, they are the protagonists

“You’ve killed so many civilians. Innocent people. Kids.“ Not to be pedantic, Mikasa, but he did that in Stohess like five years ago with Annie, that ship has sailed

Fascinated by everyone’s new looks now that they’ve abandoned most of their morality - not loving the slicked hair and goatee for Jean but Mikasa’s hair is fun

“Are a bunch of humans... really about to come and kill me?” U can’t put people on Titan Hell Island for 100 years and expect them not to learn how to kill Titans

“Stay alive; that’s an order.” Levi's steadfast look and personality are a welcome constant

I’m like, pretty convinced Eren is going to die at some point in this season, he seems pretty down and out and Armin ain’t the narrator for nothing

Oh hey, speaking of Armin, been a while since we’ve seen you, your hair looks nice but I guess you are also Unwell™

Did Levi just detonate a bomb on Zeke’s Titan face while he was still standing on it, what kinda wild tactics

“Did I hesitate because of that kid?” We’ll call it a mild victory that we didn’t have to watch Jean murder a child in cold blood

Wow the scouts have blimps now? They’ve really seen some benefit from travelling across the sea; decades of knowledge in five years

But seriously what the fuck did Eren, Armin and Mikasa DO in the past four years that caused them to look so haunted? I get that they’re fucked up by what they’re doing NOW but it seems like a pre-existing condition

“You have a real kickable face, you know that?” Ah, it seems that Eren did not have permission to go live in a place where people wanted to eat him

“We’ve fought the New Eldian Empire’s first battle, and it ended in Victory.” Guess Titan Hell Island has decided to embrace their title as Eldians? They didn’t even know what that was five years ago jghjgh

“Honestly, I’m just glad that we made it. I know this isn’t fair to the others, but you guys will always be special, to me.” Connie treating being close friends with Sasha and Jean like it’s a betrayal to the military kjhgjkhg

“Mr. Zeke was killed right in front of us.” Oh so Zeke’s like, dead dead?

“You’re one of the good ones.” Again, I want to emphasize how much I hate everything that’s happening right now

YIKES @ Sasha being shot by a child, are they gonna kill Gabi now?

Once again I must be thankful that Jean doesn’t love murder

Whomst the heck is Yelena, I thought we would be seeing an Annie comeback?? RIP

“Quite the performance, coming from a mangy furball.” SO WE’RE WORKING WITH ZEKE NOW? THE HELL IS GOING ON

“You noticed that trend [of rescuing Eren] and used it against us. Held yourself hostage to force our hand.” Both more manipulative and shrewd than I have come to expect from Eren; growth??????

I suppose we’re going to find out whomst the heck Yelena and Onyankopon are

“I was concerned for Historia’s safety.” Eren what happened to youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu three years ago you were all still relatively.... yourselves

“Welcome to our defiled island of filth-blooded devils, you’re gonna to love it here.” Again, thank u to Levi for being who he is

“But as we gradually set aside the labels we have for one another, and worked to see each other as people, we can reach an understanding.” SCOOOOUTS WHAT HAPPENED TO UUUUUUUUUUUU WHERE ARE THE TEENS WHO PLAYED IN THE SEAAAAA

“Thank you for every tasty meal you made for her.” Ahhh Nicolo loved Sasha even despite their different upbringing that’s so sad

“Right, Annie? Say something, please.” Can’t remember if I brought this up when Armin first ate Bertholdt but imo it’s been an underpinning of Armin’s actions throughout the series that he has some deeper feelings for Annie, so it is not lost on me that both vessels of the Colossal Titan have liked Annie

It tickles me every time Hange calls Eren out for his crazed muttering

I can’t believe the pay-off for Mikasa being the only East Asian person on this island is that she’s a lost princess but of course, why not?

“But I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect match than you.” Okay Historia, I see your subtle flirt with Mikasa, I am not opposed to wlw princess vibes 👀👀👀👀👀👀

“Zeke will pass on the Beast Titan to an individual who has royal blood, and that person must spend the 13 years they’ll have left bearing as many children as possible.” Gross. Also if this so-called royal blood is so important, it really should be Zeke who fucks as many child-bearing people as possible bc someone with functioning testes can typically make waaaaaaaaaaaaay more babies in that time than someone with a uterus

EUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I HATE THAT HISTORIA IS HAVING A BABY JUST FOR MILITARY PURPOSES; GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh wait, she chose to find a partner and get pregnant in opposition to the military’s timeline? Hmmmm, still hate it

Hahahaha I guess now we know why everyone’s so much beefier, they were building railroads

“You brats got taller. It’s like you’re sprouting up just to spite me.” Hahaha Levi

Eren’s friends all going around and offering to be his Titan heir (and, as a result, EAT HIM) is so fucking funny, Jean being too smart, Connie and Sasha being too dumb, Mikasa being too valuable (not to mention the fact she could never eat Eren jkhgkjhg)

“Because you’re important to me. More than anyone ese. I hope... you’ll live long lives.” [Eren’s entire friend group blushes] I too wonder, Jean, what the hell kind of mood they’re trying to set here kjhgkhgkgh

Jean raises a very fair point about Eren not caring who lives or dies if he’s willing to send his whole friend group into battle

Tho as a counter to Connie, he of all ppl should recognize laughter as a trauma response

Like, laughing is exactly what Eren did when Hannes died, and he was definitely mourning then

Also good that we are finally getting some Current Emotional Narrative Focus on the literal PROTAGONISTS

“All are welcome at the Braus Stables,” I can’t believe Sasha’s parents are taking in the kid who killed their daughter oh nooooooooo

Wow Louise, what an unexpected callback to the evacuation of Trost

“But [the invasion of Marley] was recent, and my mother was killed four whole years ago.” Kaya is also an unexpected callback, but damn, I don’t think u can talk Gabi out of her dedication to generational sin

Side note: The legacy of Sasha rescuing a child vs the child who murdered her, super fucked up

“You don’t have to apologize for Marley, you just happened to be born there.” Kaya killing Gabi with kindness

Incredibly pot-kettle for Reiner to have any objection to Zeke defecting lmao he did exactly what you did, dude

“Well, you are a boy at that age; I bet you’d like to do all kinds of ‘discovering’ with Annie, if you could.” On one hand, Hitch u right, on the other hand, Armin would never get involved-involved with Annie unless it was reciprocated, and on a foot, he’s like 20 now right? Shouldn’t he have a grasp on his hormones by this point hgjhgkjhg

Yelena’s description of Eren’s divine fury is truly filling in the Venn diagram of Death Note and AOT fans huh

“You’re right that there would be no harm in letting us talk to him, so why would [Premier Zachary] forbid it?” My current guess is he’s testing how well Armin and Mikasa will abide by military orders

Well, Armin’s guess is usually better than mine, so I guess it’s Plan E(at Eren)

Did Eren just bisect the Premier?????????? Eren, once again I am asking, what the fuck??????????????

“We believe that whoever delivered the chair must’ve planted a bomb in it.” Oh good, it was not Eren, but it was probably those fanatic scout recruits

“Armin. The hell is going on right now?” Same, Mikasa, same

On a more lighthearted note, was the timeskip (aside from being a shorthand for large leap in character motives) mostly to age and beef Eren up, because it would’ve been harder to pull off this Messiah on the Hill moment if Eren were still a skinny fifteen-year-old?

“But as a result [of adapting to turbulent times] our prestige has been reduced to the point where we’re now derided as a pack of wretched, money-grubbing vixens.” Hey now, Lady Azumabito, what’s wrong with being a money-grubbing vixen

“Armin and I were there when the bomb went off; we almost got killed by the blast.” But whether Eren instigated the assassination or not (I suspect not) seriously I do not fuck with any version of Eren that would let Armin or Mikasa die what happened to the boy who was ready to have an all-out brawl with Levi on the chance Armin could get to live?????

Another mild bit of knowledge I recently had was that Eren would eventually look older and have long hair. In S3 Part II, I was incredibly convinced that that would come as a result of defection based on Armin’s death. And I’m not saying timeskips are always pointless, but they are often used to get around the fact the character you wrote just Wouldn’t Do That

Eughhhhhh they are finally explaining how Zeke has been long-distance Titan transforming, poor Ragako and Connie :(

“And seeing as you murdered every person who lived there, you should learn the name, you bearded shit.” Levi is the only person in this show that gives me any kind of peace

HAHAHAHAHA a moment of recognition for this dialogue (it’s me I’m the ladies - also RIP Petra)

Zeke: Doubt you were well-liked by the ladies. Considering how you think you know what everyone else is feeling.

Levi: I do know. And I was liked enough. So.

Zeke, who has never been liked by a lady, bitterly: Well, good for you!

“Guess that makes us even, you Eldian devil.” 1) The fuck, Nicolo 2) Is that wine poisoned or smth

Update from 7 minutes later: Yes, but also no

Well I think with Gabi’s murderous monologue there goes the last of whatever sanity Nicolo had left

The Scouts still not wanting harm to come to Gabi despite her killing their friend :(

The way that Mr. Braus is holding that knife against his fingers really looks like he’s about to cut his hand a la the Titan Gang but that would be an abrupt change of scene

“Way I see it, when it comes to shoulderin’ the sins and hatreds of the past, that burden should fall to adults like you and me.” MR. BRAUS <3

Kaya’s murderous rage about Sasha was entirely expected but still sad

So like...... everyone in the military who drank that wine will become a Titan whenever Zeke wants? HORRIFYING

“What the hell became of the hope we all looked towards?” Oh don’t worry Levi, things are about to get much, much worse

“Why would I want that? Always with the killing. It’s like it’s all you ever think about. Just like someone else I know.” Armin said: Gabi, you remind me of my BFF Eren, who also loves murder <3

Eren said: Speak of the devil and he doth appear

Floch has never had a good opinion in his whole damn life, everything he says, I’m like ‘go fuck yourself, Floch’

“And you wouldn’t put us at risk either. You care about us more than anyone!” THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING MIKASA (itslazywriting.jpg)

“Then part of you has become Bertholdt. Within you is an enemy, who has feelings for another enemy.” I think Armin had feelings for Annie pre-eating Bertholdt, but maybe that’s just me

Eren calling Mikasa, a survivor of human trafficking, a slave, is gross as hell. Eren can go fuck himself too. WHAT HAPPENED TO ‘YOU’RE IMPORTANT TO ME!’ THESE ARE YOUR FRIENDS, MAN!!!!!!!! THE NARRATIVE HAS YET TO GIVE ME A GOOD JUSTIFICATION FOR WHY YOU’RE SUCH A DICK NOW

“The mere sight of you has always made me so damn angry. And now I finally know why. I just couldn’t stand to look at a slave with no mind of her own, who always followed orders without question.” SHUT THE FUCK UP EREN, ARMIN AND MIKASA WERE YOUR FRIENDS FOR YOUR ENTIRE CHILDHOOD, AND YOU LOVED THEM, DUMBASS

“Believe me when I say this, Mikasa. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve hated you.” I will note that Eren and Mikasa’s relationship has always had a weird tone bc Mikasa was exuding a ‘siblings by chance <3 lovers by choice’ energy but Eren, despite not responding to those feelings, LOVED HER AS A FRIEND! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GUY WHO VOWED TO PROTECT MIKASA AND DISCOVERED HIS COORDINATE POWERS IN AN EFFORT TO PROTECT HER???? WHY ARE WE IGNORING THE PAST THREE SEAAAAAAASONSSS UGH

HONESTLY? GOOD FOR ARMIN, I’D ALSO PUNCH EREN!!!!!

“Is there any wine left?” “Of course not, we’ve been here a month, there’s not a single drop left.“ If Levi becomes a Titan or is killed I will riot. This show is already hot wet garbage, I can’t see it getting any better in the remaining half season

Thank god for Levi, who has done so many wrong things, but has principles, and I love him with my whole dumbass heart

“I want you to beat up the Commandant here mercilessly until he can’t stand anymore.” Eren and Floch 2022 for the Worst President and Vice President that any nation has ever seen

Update from two years later: I can’t believe I am STILL watching this stupid fucking show

“Your throw has some serious heat behind it, Zeke!” You’re telling me that Zeke’s entire Titan fighting style and ideology is based on the fact that he’s good at baseball and Ksaver zoned in on his daddy issues

“The truth is, [your parents] never loved you,” said Ksaver to Zeke, in what might be a true statement, but still probably is something you shouldn’t say to a child

So given his youth respective to Annie & co., Zeke is supposed to be what, max 10 years older than Eren? He’s 30? He’s aged like sour milk

“Would it be possible for the Founder to make it so that none of us can have children anymore?” What’s the endgame of this eugen!cs plotline 4 real bc it makes me want to throw up

So Zeke’s plan... is to have Eren... enforce eugen!cs by way of mass sterilization????? Why would someone write this story? Why am I still watching this story? I hate it, I hate it so much

“If the Eldians in this town had never been born, then none of them would have to suffer and die in the plan that you and I are about to carry out,” said Eren, like he and Zeke weren’t 100% responsible for each and every suffering from hereon out

WHY DO PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE HAVE EREN POSTERS ON THEIR WALLS?? EREN GIVE ME SOME HOPE UR NOT ENTIRELY THE WORST AND YOU’VE GOT SOME OTHER OBJECTIVE OR PLAN IN MIND, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me, still trying to finish this show despite the bone arsenic it gives me every episode:

I still don’t think Levi is dead despite being exploded upon (twice), however he dies (as I’m almost sure he will), he’s gonna go out fighting

Now that I think about it, I assume he will fight Eren, and I hope he kicks him in the ass

“Assuming that he hasn’t just lost it, I don’t see him [hurting Armin and Mikasa] without having some kind of reason.” Finally, a word of sense. Jean and Levi 2022 for a Government Which Still Probably Sucks, But At Least The Public Can Trust That They Have Some Kind of Sense of the Common Good

I can’t believe Gabi is STILL holding onto the Good Eldian/Bad Eldian dichotomy in spite of everything she’s seen

“But to think that your cause was so noble. It just touched my heart!” I am assuming Armin’s crocodile tears to Yelena also have some greater plot purpose

Eren said: Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal Pieck

Turns out, I was wrong. Levi is dead. THANKS FOR NOTHING, AOT

WAIT, HANGE TOOK HIM, I’M HOLDING OUT MINIMAL HOPE

“I saw a girl I didn’t know, sculpting the earth to reform my body.” Queen Ymir, I guess?

“I don’t trust Marley one bit. Having said that, I trust the comrades who fought at my side completely.” Pieck as the only person in this dumbass military who has some perspective

They really do just breeze past Gabi being chained to Pieck’s severed hand LMAO, where does the cuff go?

Yelena’s learning of Eren’s no. 1 skill: Not listening to anyone

“Who else could talk Marley into doing something so stupid?” Firstly, pot-kettle, Eren, and secondly, yeah, sounds about right. Reiner and Eren remain the most out of their minds of anyone in this whole show

Magath really talking about bringing an end to 2,000 years of hatred like Marley had nothing to do with it

I’m not sure what the Jaegerists were expecting, their artillery isn’t really designed to fight people one-on-one

“I’d like to hear [Onyankopon] out at least. ‘Kay?” Armin’s kekkei genkai is immeasurable patience. My god

“[...] That the world is more interesting with different kinds of people. I think you believe that. And I think that belief goes against everything Zeke’s doing.” I just don’t understand what the end game is here! Like, what is the point!!!!!!!! What are you trying to say!!!!!!!!!

“Do you actually believe Eren wants to stop all Eldians from having children? You honestly think he’d go along with that?” NO ARMIN, THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING FOR THE LAST HALF SEASON

All this said: Starting to lose my faith, buddy, seems a little too optimistic at this point

Fnfjnfjfnf Eren’s friends said: I’ll rescue him, but I’m not happy about it

Poor Falco and Nile, hate that that they’re sitting in a dungeon, waiting to be turned into Titans. Zeke, ur the worst

“I’m glad that we’re fighting towards a common goal, now.” Can I just say, I am glad that for once since this season began, the Scouts/104th cadet corps have some sense of agency? Good grief

Quick question, what in the fuck is wrong with Yelena? What kind of Junji Ito-ass expression did she just make?

Also, doesn’t bode well for Armin that Yelena agrees with him

If Nile gets shot for trying to help Falco see his brother, I’m gonna scream

“There were never any devils on this island.” FINALLY, GABI!!!!!!!!!! It took like, at least 4 different encounters with kind people (Jean and co., the Braus family, Armin, Nile) for the lesson to stick

“So yeah, Udo and Zofia are dead ‘cause of me. And also, I’m in love with you.” Being 12-years-old is tough in this economy

Colt really has a lot of information to process about his brother today. Confessing to unintentionally facilitating mass casualty, love, and his imminent death/dehumanization

“So that’s where my dear little Pieck met her end.” Is it though? No body, no death

Yeah, thought so. Zeke’s never been correct about anything

Does the ep title ‘Two Brothers’ foreshadow both Zeke and Falco dying, as one of half of two brothers? Truly unfortunate for Falco, he’s just a little guy

The real question is if the Scream can also compel Armin, or Annie. They’ve never tried it on Intelligent Titans, I don’t think

Also, Annie was able to Scream Titans to do stuff, back in those woods. She could also be of royal blood?

Also speaking of the whole royal blood thing, if Zeke’s spinal fluid’s ability to turn people into Titans is unique, how were they doing it before Zeke inherited the Beast? Like how did the whole penal colony angle function if Grisha and Dina were turned BEFORE Zeke inherited? Does any Titan spinal fluid work, and if so, why is it so difficult to obtain? Riddle me that

I don’t even have the energy to process how fucked up what just happened was. Nile, Pyxis, and every damn soldier down there getting turned into monsters with no out but death. Falco inadvertently incinerating his brother (for nothing! Porco is going to sacrifice himself anyway!! Colt’s death served NO purpose other than demonstrating his love for his brother)

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

WHAT

WHAT??????????????????????????????????

EREN?????????????? WHAT???????? THE FUCK?????????

“Those chains around your neck.” “I was starting to wonder if you ever going to say anything about that. Well, even if it took a while, I appreciate your concern.” Zeke said: Don’t worry, we may be in Titan Purgatory, but I have still retained my passive aggressive personality

“Do you seriously believe I’d euthanize the Eldian people?” FUCKING FINALLY EREN! PLEASE TELL ME YOUR PLAN IS TO GET RID OF THE ABILITY TO TRANSFORM INTO TITANS

“I waited to hear your true feelings, and that was the right decision.” This really is the season of sudden but inevitable betrayals

What’s the point of having a Founding Titan or Coordinate at all if you need royal blood to use it? Seems redundant, since it seems like Zeke can more or less control Titans on his own. Is it only the biology thing

“He sacrificed his children on the altar of nationalism.” Absolutely hate to say it, but Zeke, for once in his life, has a point

If the rest of this season could be Baby Eren chasing butterflies, that would be much appreciated. I’d watch 10 hours of that

“He was a shitty human being who did a shitty job as a father.” I like it that it’s Dumping on Grisha Hours, it’s vaguely cathartic

Lmao at Eren ‘you’ve undone his brainwashing’ hahaha u could hold ur stupid fucking plan for months or years, but somehow u think this’ll work? Same old impatient guy

“Why did he wait so long [to take the Founding Titan]?” Hahaha Zeke’s finding out the reality that not all siblings are raised equally

“He set aside his mission for the sake of his son. Would’ve been nice if he could’ve done that for me. Good for you, though.” Take a shot every time Zeke is passive aggressive and develop severe liver damage

The one bit of world-building here that doesn’t give me bone arsenic is that people can develop autonomy within these memories, and seem to have some access to the future. It’s interesting

“I came into this world ready for a fight.” Eren said: Murder is my only personality trait

“I won’t move on if it means abandoning you.” Wild that both Grisha and Zeke decide to put their plans on hold for Eren’s sake, when Eren seems to care so little for it in response

Eren really does have his dad’s whole face, huh:

“The power of the Attack Titan offers us brief glimpses into the lives of those yet to inherit it. Meaning, it allows to witness events in the future.” Ohhhhhh so it turns out Paternity-TSD is not just a Titan thing, it is an Attack Titan thing

“Eren will get everything he wants.” I can’t believe that Grisha’s fall from grace comes from EREN being the one to force his hand, through memories alone, to kill the Founding Family. Eren said: Uno reverse, Dad! I AM THE SHITTY FATHER EVERYONE DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT

Imagine, momentarily, being followed around by a grown version of your 9-year-old who incites you to commit violence. No wonder Grisha’s like this

“But even so, I will always love you. If only... I’d let you be my son instead of trying to make you a soldier.” Is this a hurtful or a healing experience for Zeke

So ur tellin’ me Founder Ymir got Titan powers by falling down a well inside of a tree? Okay Grimdark Inuyasha

Pretty fucked up that the royal family got the Founding Titan power through coerced reproduction, but what in this show isn’t fucked up? I’m so tired

If Maria, Rose, and Sina all had kids, I still think Annie could be from the royal blood line. We’ve got Zeke and Historia from two different blood lines, that still leaves one blond to go

Also also also this backstory doesn’t answer the question of how everyone else became a Subject of Ymir. Is everyone from Titan Hell Island her direct descendant? That doesn’t make any sense, because then everyone would be descended from Fritz also. Honestly the thing I suspect (and have suspected, ever since Ragako) is that anyone can be turned into a Titan, not Eldians specifically

Although, this Foundervision makes it seem like all Eldians do specifically have a specific link to Ymir. Is the implication all the people in that society had a little piece of her? Honestly none of the royal bloodline stuff makes any sense if you think about it for more than a few minutes

“The Titans of the Walls will continue their march until every trace of life beyond our shores is trampled flat, and the people of Paradis, are all that remains of humanity.” Eren said: Survival of the craziest

To paraphrase a tumblr post: If you go to the circus for advice, don’t be surprised when it’s delivered to you by a clown

This episode is called Thaw, which means FINALLY Annie. I have been waiting for her to come back to the side of the Scouts!

Honestly, kind of surprised it’s taken Reiner this long to give up LOL

“We’re doing what they feared we’d do, because we have to.” Do you have to, Jean? DO YOU?

“He did this for his friends. Eren wants to protect us, even if it means killing everyone else on the planet.” [B99 VOICE] COOL MOTIVE, STILL MURDER, JEAN

Well, Connie’s psychological break is much to be expected, I guess

The Braus family and Nicolo automatically protecting Gabi despite how much she’s hurt them personally <3 I love them

“There’s a devil in me, Kaya. And in you, and in everyone else. That’s why our world’s the way it is. There’s a devil inside us all.” I mean, yeah, but I fail to see why you use this framework of oppression metaphors if ur suggesting that everyone is on equal moral standing, because it reeks of ‘there are bad people on both sides’ which like. Then why frame it as slave and subjugator? Why not just frame it as a conflict of nations? They are different metaphors

Armin thanking Pyxis and wishing him rest as he puts him down. Ahhhh oh Armin :( <3

“You survived.” “Damn, no need to sound so excited about it.” That’s also how I feel about Floch, Jean

“I can’t say for sure, but if Eren could do [a Titan transformation reversal], I think he would’ve done it for our comrades that Zeke turned into Titans, instead of leaving them for us to kill.” Armin still hoping for empathy from Eren despite his plot to kill everyone in the world

Although, this does make a bit of sense as to why Eren also reacted so strongly to Zeke trying to scream. He couldn’t undo what Zeke was about to do

“When he brought the walls down, he did it by breaking all Titan hardening, everywhere.” ANNIEEEEEEEEEEE

Turns out Hitch, Annie’s former roommate and prison guard, is voiced by the same VA as Wendy from Fairy Tail. I knew she sounded familiar LOL

Gjklgglhgkjh @ Annie’s story being ‘your found family can also be garbage’

Annie [Tiktok audio voice]: Traumatize ur parents BACK

LMAO @ THIS BANTER, GUESS IT’S BEEN ROUGH FOR ANNIE NOT TO BE ABLE TO SAY ANYTHING FOR THE PAST HALF DECADE

Hitch: Okay wait. I don’t need to hear your entire life story.

Annie: I didn’t need to hear about every failed relationship you’ve had in the past four years. It’s not going to kill you to let me talk for a few minutes.

Did Annie’s dad just die???? It remains unclear

Not to state an obvious point but the Jaegerists are so icky. Who has the capacity for a military coup in the middle of a mass casualty event which affected EVERYONE, including them. Fuckhead Floch, that’s who

Also Shadis admitting he’d let the recruits attack him on purpose and advising them to not fight the coup! He really is a good teacher

“There’s no point in worrying about Eren. We can’t stop him, he’s a lost cause!” Armin has finally reached the limit of his near infinite patience

Not Mr. Braus calling Connie a decent sort to Gabi when Connie’s mid-way through a plan to murder her friend

“Be as annoying, selfish and arrogant as you please.” “Well, that’s kinda rude.” Jean truly deserves to be the protagonist of this show

Connie and Armin going to bat who will be the most mentally unwell companion to their traumatized 12-year-old. Based on Armin’s “Levi saving the wrong person” comment, there seems a very real possibility that Armin might offer to let Connie’s mum eat him instead

“He’s just a poor bastard who refuses to die.” LEVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII LOVE U, NO BODY NO DEATH

I can’t believe Hange’s explanation for Levi not dying via explosive blast is ‘he’s just built different’

I guess he did lose a couple of fingers but my real question is why have u advanced in all technologies except for prosthetics. Feels like that should be a common need here

Appreciate Levi stating Pieck (Finger) and (Theo) Magath’s full names for exposition lol

“Sasha. Would you have understood what I’m about to do?” Considering all of Sasha’s love towards her siblings and protecting kids, no, probably not, Connie

DEAR GOD. THE BEST PLAN CONNIE COULD COME UP WITH IS ASKING FALCO TO BRUSH HIS TITAN MUM’S TEETH. HE TRULY IS THE DUMBEST OF THE ALIVE SCOUTS, AND THAT’S INCLUDING EREN

Full disclosure I had to stop watching this episode bc of all the things this show has made me watch, the concept of Connie trying to Hansel and Gretel this 12-year-old child has pushed me to my limits. I’m back now and I’m gonna try my best

PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME WATCH ARMIN DIE AGAIN, I WILL CRY. PLEASEEEEEEEE

Update from 1 minute later: OH THANK GOD

“I want to try and become the kind of soldier my mum would be proud of,” said Connie, as the child he’d almost murdered wheezed in the background

“Guess whatever you’re worried about doesn’t really bother Jean.” Is it weird that I am kind of hoping Mikasa and Jean end up together? There’s something compelling about how they’re both simultaneously so fucked up in slightly opposite ways now

KFJHKFH the comedy of Annie just being sat right beside Armin and Connie as they theorize about her

“Goodbye. Sincerely, your gloomy roommate.” Me whenever I leave the house

[Mocking] “And I get to live out my life with your sad little gang of xenophobic shitheads?” Onyankopon makes a direct and accurate hit

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I KNEW JEAN WOULDN’T MURDER HIS FRIEND!!! GO SCOUTS!!!!!!!!!

“Don’t you ever brush your teeth [as a Titan]?” “You shouldn’t ask such things, I’m a lady, remember?” LMAO Hange asking the real questions about titan dentistry

“Then that burning pile of bones would’ve haunted me for the rest of my life.” Jean truly has never stopped being in love with Marco this whole time. Bisexual king

“Let’s go.” “Go where?” “To end this, and save the world.” Alright, alright, they do know how to refocus my attention:

The scar on Jean’s dream wife’s cheek showing he still has feelings for Mikasa <3 Ahhh

I appreciate this retrospective on how they coordinated the attack, though it does probably mean the last eps in this part will not advance the narrative that much

“I’ll do it. Eren’s killed too many already. I won’t sit back and watch him steal more lives.” Good for Mikasa!!!

“You remember Willy Tybur’s speech. What’s the world gonna do when we prove him right?” Jean reasonably points out that Eren has essentially guaranteed the destruction of either civilization (Paradis v. the Outside World)

I continue to be surprised about how explicit Armin and Hange have been about the fact Eren is committing geno-[GUNSHOT NOISE]

I know it was established last episode that this was still about Marco for Jean but it’s brought into sharper relief when they have a mise en scene dedicated to every single person they’ve lost, and then Marco gets his own panel. Everything always returns to unresolved trauma and transparent metaphors for bisexuality:

“Hange. In the end, I’ll always be a Scout.” Jean said: I will prevent our friend from committing crimes against humanity, but I’m not like, happy about it

“Compared to the sum of the carnage and misery wrought by Eldia, your island’s suffering is a joke.” I know Magath is probably trying to test their conviction in standing against Eren, but what a dick thing to say to the people whose lives and homes you have been actively destroying for ten years

Also Magath being a poster child for propaganda efficacy

“If we’re going to be at each other’s throats, let’s stick to arguing about stuff we’ve lived through ourselves.” That’s what I’m saying, Hange

God. Mikasa and Armin STILL wanting to get through to Eren to convince him to stop the Rumbling AFTER everything that’s happened. The residual loyalty Eren has proved himself beyond reciprocating

“We shouldn’t be fighting,” said Annie, right after provoking Mikasa to fight

Are we finally going to see the fucking point of Yelena as a character? Being from Marley makes sense for her, but honestly I feel like all she’s done is be like, Non-Island Floch (inciting violence and planning insurrection in her group of volunteers/Jaegerists), and we don’t really need two of those, do we?

“Who wouldn’t want to imagine themselves as the saviour of hundreds of millions of innocent lives? To wash the bitterness of hatred out of their mouths with the honeyed taste of righteousness. From where I sit, it seems like that’s what all of you are doing right now.” Yelena said: Actually, you guys are stopping the wholesale slaughter of all other people on earth for selfish reasons

How the fuck do any of these guys trust drinking alcohol after what happened with Zeke??????????? JEAN YOU WORRY ME

Kind of glad the Scouts got an explanation from Reiner and Annie for how Marco died? At least they get some closure

“We all just started fighting, and assumed it had to be to the death.” Well. In more direct terms, Reiner, Bertholdt and Annie did actually try to kill you all, Jean, but I see what you’re saying about non-lethal force being an option in your lives

“Don’t forgive me. I’m truly worthless.” Bold of you to assume anyone was gonna forgive you, Reiner? LOL

Yeah, Jean beating him up is a very fair response

“Gabi. I’m sorry about kicking you. You okay?” “I’m tougher than I might look, I’m fine.” “I’m glad. Reiner, you’re not getting an apology.” Hahahaha love every bit of this for Jean <3

The way the ep preview is a pic which looks like it’s promoting Armin and Connie’s buddy comedy film, Unhinged and Unhinged-er

I’m glad the Scouts still advocate for non-lethal force, however idealistic

“For now, just stay out of it.” Annie and Reiner said: Our bad for destroying your homeland <3 We will kill your friends so you don’t have to; that’s teamwork!

“Forgive me. All of you. I was... a fool. I’m sorry for my behaviour last night. We were never in the right. I deluded myself into thinking we were the good guys. I wanted to believe the evil I’d done was justified as part of some great cause.” What an absolutely rapid as hell turn-around for Magath, choking out Yelena one (1) time and hearing Gabi and Falco plead for help caused him to self-reflect? Or more likely it’s a Erwin-esque Inspire-to-Death speech

“There’s no way to avoid spilling more blood today. So please, look the other way.” “I’m not doing that. I refuse to let someone else stain their hands in my place.” Armin said: We can murder our OWN friends, thank you very much, Magath

“You won’t make your world any less violent by making it smaller.” Lady Azumabito having some of the realest dialogue of any character

“In any world, it’s important to understand our place [...] This [island] is the world now. You need to recognize your place in it.” Floch said: Have you heard of racism? I have reinvented it

You see? This is why we don’t need two Flochs. One is already too much

Floch has never said anything worthwhile in his whole damn life. Get got Floch. I don’t have a lot of faith in Armin’s plan, but if Floch dies, that’s probably a win for everyone

Fully didn’t realize Daz, Scout who loved to cry about how he was going to die, was still alive. I imagine not for long

Update from 8 mins later: RIP Daz and Samuel

“We’re with you. Eren has to finish the job or this island is doomed.” Armin. This is the best plan your huge brain could come up with? Connie has rubbed off on you in a bad way

It’s a good thing being shot through the face cannot kill Armin atm

Better to have tried and failed at a non-violent solution, I guess

There go the last crumbling threads of Connie and Armin’s mental health

How did Floch NOT die at point blank range of two Titans transforming? Proximity to one transformation was enough to kill Colt! Unbelievable

Well, he got his about 15 minutes later, so there we go

This entire season is just a glorified trolley problem, huh?

“Violence will always be part of human existence. Won’t it, Captain?” Levi looks exhausted. Me too, man

Falco has really handled being in charge of one of the world’s only nine sentient biological weapons as best he could for being 12. He’s trying his best to help

SHADIS!!!!!!! I was curious who took out the reinforcement train

“Last chance for you to take a swim.” “No. I’ll stay. I’ve been looking for a good end to this life.” Shadis said: I must die in the most dramatic way possible

“It’s far too late, but I’ve finally realized how happy I would’ve been if those kids could’ve led normal lives.” Magath is the only adult in this show ever to admit that having child soldiers is bad LMAO:

I’ll hand it to Shadis and Magath, that was a pretty cool way to die

Though Magath’s comment about Shadis being remembered as a hero doesn’t make a lot of sense, considering he was about to explode any and all witnesses to Shadis being there

Annie taking the inevitable loss of Liberio the hardest (unsurprising as everyone else there has lived through the hell of the past four years, while Annie was quite literally frozen in time, regardless of physical aging)

“I don’t want to fight anymore. Not with any of you. Not even with Eren.” Oh, Annie

“It could be that he’s always been like this inside. But if this is the real Eren Jaeger, what did I see in him, that made me keep him so close?” A question we’ve all perhaps been wondering, Mikasa

“They’ll try to feed the car carrots if they manage to catch it.” “Hahah, give them more credit than tha—Wait, are they buying carrots?” I appreciate that we get this reprieve after all of the violence

Also I haven’t said much about Onyankopon because he’s normal and nice, but I do enjoy him

“Well, look at that another enemy immigrant.” To be clear, this show DOES feel like it’s hate-criming me but it seems redundant to discuss that when they’re in the middle of a [LOUD FORGORN NOISE]

LMAO @ Levi being the one to cause the scene after his snark

“You’ve come to make it known that the people of Paradis wish to coexist in peace?” Well, that plan didn’t go very well, it seems

“Mikasa, what am I to you?” Eren said: It is time to talk about the unspoken crush you’ve had on me for 9 years, Mikasa

Hahaha good for the 104th cadets, getting to party and let loose with one another like actual teens for once. Also the way that Mikasa, Eren, Armin and Jean are laid out in the centre does pull at my heartstrings:

“What If I’d given him a different answer? Would we still be in this situation right now?” Mikasa, I don’t think romance would’ve fixed Eren

Eren would literally rather kill everyone on the planet than make Historia become a Titan and have children for the military’s sake. Chivalry is not dead I guess, unlike everyone else on the planet

I can’t believe Eren floated this plan by Historia!! Replacing one burden with an even heavier burden

“There are straightforward explanations for all the behaviours you’re describing, that have nothing to do with genetics or conditioning. [Mikasa] doesn’t slaughter Titans out of some inborn compulsion to keep you alive. She does it because she adores you.” LOL @ Zeke having to be the one who explains this to Eren. The closest he ever comes to actually being a big brother

Now that I’m thinking about it: Where the hell is Zeke? He seems nigh unkillable, are we saying that Eren’s transformation did him in? No body, no death

“That’s what I need. For them to live long and happy lives.” 1) Did you really think, knowing your friends, that any of them would be happy with you killing everyone? 2) Armin is on a timeline just like you, so if we have to take the 13-years-since-Titan-inheritance to live at face value (Idk that I do. I do think it’s something they could lie about), he’s also got less than ten years to live and 3) Doing cruel things out of love does not make them any less cruel!!

Can I just say a big fuckin hoo boy to Eren’s whole life

Their vaguely-brown accents have gotten a lot worse since that first battle with Marley LMAO. 3/10, hire a brown person

“I imagine, we learn that our wish isn’t possible. We never find a way to save Paradis.” My name’s Eren Jaeger and I was born with the gift of self-fulfilling prophecy

This genuinely is sickening to watch. What’s the fucking point

Of course Eren is killing his and Zeke’s grandparents. Why not?

“It’s weird how at ease I feel,” said Armin to Annie, as if it were not kind of a dick thing to say whilst her hometown was being trampled

“What I wanted was to see you.” Armin said: It’s time to talk about MY unspoken crush I’ve had on Annie for the past 4 and a half years!!

“Good is just what people call people who help them.” Armin really dropping some of his most compelling moral philosophy mid-confession

“So when did this start?” “When did what start?” It is SOOOOO funny that they’re choosing to address the romance angle between Annie and Armin NOW, when the whole fucking world is being brutally, unforgivably murdered. YOU COULDN’T HAVE DONE THIS, LIKE, A COUPLE OF EPISODES AGO

Are Yelena and Pieck the same voice actress because they both have a mild lisp like they’re talking around a retainer

“Even trying to say sorry feels presumptuous.” It is, Reiner! You’re learning something. Perhaps, like 10 years too late, but still!

Annie hugging Reiner goodbye even after acknowledging he’s the one who started all this. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh

It’s very kind of Team Save the World to all be so understanding of the fact Annie no longer has any desire to fight

Floch said: I would like to be a problem one last time before I mega-die

“Armin Arlert. As of now I appoint you 15th commander of the Scout Regiment.” Hange said: I volunteer as next for mega-death!!!!

Levi scout-saluting Hange on her heart instead of his.... Ahhhhhhhh

Hange joining all the fallen Scouts in what seems like a very chill afterlife. Good for her

“Killing Zeke should end the Rumbling.” Ah, apparently Zeke is somewhere in his little brother’s Titan body like an extremely fucked up babushka doll. Or a tick

“He died cursing my name. Calling me a traitor, while I told myself I was saving the world. Was it the same? For your team? You, Bertholdt and Annie. Is this what it felt like?” It is also extremely funny that whenever someone does something really terrible to a huge group of people they look at Reiner and go, ‘Is this what it’s like to be you?’ and he goes, ‘Yeah. :(’

It’s also a callback to when he and Bertholdt were Connie’s dads. Shout-out to a less complicated time

“It’s like he wants to find how we’re going to respond to what he’s done.”

Eren Jaeger 🤝 Itachi Uchiha

Deciding the appropriate judgment for committing a pre-emptive massacre against a huge group of people is having your loved one(s) beat your ass

The fact that Eren’s friends are STILL trying to talk him down. God. It is so much more than he deserves:

“But from you, I will take nothing.” Except most of the buildings on our island, the Scout leadership’s influence over the government, the fellow recruits I have radicalized for my cause, at least two of our closest friends who died as a direct result of my actions, every friend you made in Liberio, your sense of personal agency over the future, any hope you had for peace, and any remnants of sanity that you have left

“You will only stop my advance when you stop me from breathing. And you are free to try.” Eren said: We interrupt this plane ride for a message from our Founder. Hey besties, please beat me to death!

“They told us back in training that the Female Titan can manifest the abilities of the rest of the nine by taking in parts of their bodies.” OHHHHH so THAT’S why Annie can scream Titans to do stuff. I still think she could be descended from royalty, but this does explain it in part

Hmmm is Zeke’s spinal fluid why Falco had the memory of flying around with swords in his hands? A pre-transformation memory from Zeke? I had wondered if it was from Cadet Ymir

Turns out Annie’s father is NOT dead, nor are any of the immediate family of the other Marleyan Warriors. Instead, they’re probably going to die very shortly

“We cultivated hate. Nurtured our resentments. Let ourselves believe that could save us. And what came of our failings, we simply dumped onto the ‘Island of Devils.’ This is the result. Those failings gave rise to the monster you see. And it’s marching our hatred back upon us.” General Muller said: Turns out, oppressing people for their ethnic heritage is BAD! Who knew!!!!

All the Marley Eldian parents being like. My bad for inflicting generational trauma onto my children, xoxo

Is Zeke straight up throwing LIGHTNING NOW? Zeke has chidori? What is going ON

“The forces of Paradis are trying to end the Rumbling.” Oh HELL YEAH they are

I’m going to be real honest with you, I am incredibly attached to most of the remaining Team Save the World, so when some or even most of them inevitably die, I will cry. Or be sick. Or both

“Exactly one minute from now, I’ll blast these bones apart.” Armin preparing to kill his best friend to save everyone else. Awful

EREN JUST SWALLOWING HIS BEST FRIEND WHOLE INTO THE FUCKED UP BABUSHKA DOLL WITHOUT HESITATION???? WHAT?????????

“He’s being restrained, but he’s not hurt. The problem, is that he was whisked off towards Eren’s ass.” What a thing to say at a time like this, Levi

“Theses husks are the people who bore the Power of the Nine before us. I don’t know if their minds are still in there or not. But I’m betting the Founding Titan has the ability to resurrect them as many times as it needs to.” Eren said: Hey besties, please fight these Big Fucking Skeleton Ghosts of Your Ancestors and Friends

I suppose the friends part disproportionately affects Reiner, since he was closest to the most former Titans (Marcel, Porco, on top of them all being friends with Bertholdt)

Bertholdt crying in Armin’s Founder Ymir-Induced Suffocation Scape implies the former Titans are CONSCIOUS of being used to hurt their friends and commit gen-[GUNSHOT NOISE]? HATE THAT

“Do you still think we can win?” “Nope. But I don’t care. I wanna fight to the bitter end.” I am in love with you, Jean Kirschtein

“You’re kinda in the way, Mikasa!” ANNIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Colour me bananas, but if Falco (I see why they named his character that now) was so certain he could turn into a Bird Titan, why’d he have to do it ON the boat. Couldn’t HE have been on one of the little lifeboats, transforming in the water and swooping away?

“Hang on, where’s Arm—I mean, where’s Pieck?” Annie, you’re allowed to care that Armin’s alive, it’s not weird HAHAHAHAH. It’s weirder that you said it that way

“Your childhood friends sure have a way of getting themselves captured,” said Annie, as if she had not been the first person to capture them

“Damn it. I had a long list of things to tell that dumbass off about.” This is Levi saying how much he loves Eren and doesn’t want to kill him :(

Gjgkgkjgjgjg Annie’s advice to Mikasa about how to deal with their comrades killing the man Mikasa loves: Try not to think about it

“That one. Isn’t it an okapi?” “What the hell’s an okapi?” I too would like to know what an okapi is, Mikasa

“Erwin, I didn’t choose you, and I don’t regret that. I’m entrusting the future with the same look in his eyes as all of you.” I LOVE YOU, LEVI, AND I LOVE YOU ARMIN

The subsequent cut to Armin screaming at his inanimate body about how much he hates it and himself. This show is exhausting

“I should be in a Titan’s mouth right now, so how do I know what’s happening to my friends?” This is a question I also had Armin, but I wasn’t really expecting an answer

“You still seek to multiply? Why? Is continuing the species really that important to you?” Zeke said: Actually, y’all are saving the world because you wanna fuck (Zeke and Yelena fight over who projects a more insane motivation onto the Scouts)

“This strange, lovely thought popped into my head. I felt like maybe I’d been born to race Mikasa and Eren up that hill.” Oh, Armin

Armin seeing this object in the paths as a leaf that reminds him of Mikasa and Eren while Zeke sees it as a baseball him and Ksaver played with. Everything always comes back to baseball and absent fathers

Is the payoff for Armin being Babushka'd for a solid thirty minutes going to be that he’s going to convert all of these Former Titans in Purgatory (aka the Paths) to stop being Eren’s Skeleton Ghost Army? Incredible

I was wondering when Cadet Ymir was going to make an appearance. Good for her!

I also appreciate that Eren’s own (skeleton ghost) father is among the people actively fighting against him. PARENTING

Zeke, as he gets decapitated, probably: See, I CAN be helpful!

“The rumbling just stopped.” THEN WHYYYY are there 45 more minutes in the episode!!!!!!!!! What are you going to do!!!!!!

I would like an explanation on what the glowing-worm-spine-thing that gives people Titan powers is. An alien? A sea creature? A really vengeful spirit? Explain!!!!

“If [the Titan Worm] survived that explosion point-blank, we can’t kill it. The one we should target is Eren. This nightmare won’t end until we take him down.” To be fair, Levi, you just had Armin try to explode Eren too, so can you really kill him?

“Could this be the same gas they used on Ragako village?” “Mikasa, Pieck, get on Falco, we need to leave. Cause only Ackermanns and Titan wielders are immune, remember?” OH MY GOD THEY’RE GOING TO TURN JEAN AND CONNIE INTO TITANS. I KNEW THIS BATTLE WASN’T GOING TO PASS WITHOUT KILLING SCOUTS, BUT OH MY GOD. JEAN. I AM CRYING, THIS IS THE WORST POSSIBLE WAY HE COULD DIE. THE WAY ALL OF THESE PEOPLE’S FAMILIES COULD DIE. I HATE THIS. I AM SICK.

“You’re gonna live without me for a long time. So forget you knew me. Forget, and be free.” I don’t care about this Eren-isn’t-a-mass-murderer fantasy sequence. Any remaining energy I had for this narrative died with Jean

Mikasa kissing Eren AFTER decapitating him is an incredibly weird way to end this battle. Why write this show? What was the point?

HKFHKJFHKFJHFKJHF not them having Eren appear as a child and say sorry for the mass murder!!!! What kinda Naruto behaviour is this!!!

“So you did all that to push us away, huh? To make us turn against you and become the heroes who prevent the annihilation of the human race by killing you.” “You got it. Every human left outside of the walls will owe you a debt of gratitude.” This is the most backwards ass, stupid ass plan I’ve ever heard of. I can’t believe THIS is the excuse for everything I’ve had to witness.

Eren Jaeger 🤝 Itachi Uchiha

If I do ALLLLLL the murders, no one will think badly of my fellow people, even though I am one of those people

“You’re hoping we can all become like the Tybur family and protect Paradis from reprisal.” Except for Jean and Connie who are mega-dead, and Annie, Armin, Reiner and Pieck, who will presumably all die in less than ten years, Falco who has thirteen years left, which leaves Levi and Mikasa to stand for their whole island?

“Founder Ymir, she loved King Fritz.” Of course, who doesn’t love someone who murdered their parents, enslaved them, ripped out their tongue and then [redacted] them and had their kids [LOUD HONK OF A CLOWN CAR]

The way they’re cycling through Eren and Armin’s ages. It does hurt me

“The past and future, it’s all happening at once. And so, I had no choice That day, in that moment, Bertholdt would’ve died, but he had to live, so I sent it away from him and towards mom.” So, not only are you saying that Eren was retroactively controlling Titans from the wall’s breach, but also that HE is responsible for his mum getting eaten? Why does Eren have to be responsible for everything? Can’t things be also Reiner and Bertholdt’s fault?

“You’re a selfish heartbreaker, and I hope she does forget about you because she deserves to be happy!” Sweet of Armin, but I can’t take this seriously inside of everything that’s happened

INSANE OF ARMIN TO BE MORE MAD ABOUT EREN DISREGARDING MIKASA’S FEELINGS THAN HE IS ABOUT THE GENOC!DE. Armin said: Two can play at the unrelentingly crazy takes on what chivalry means, Eren!

“But hey, the good news is, I know of one charming young fella she’s pretty close to already.” You mean Jean, whom Eren’s worm ally Titan-murdered??????

[Sobbing] “No. That’d break my heart. I don’t want her to find someone else. I want to be her one and only love! Even she does get over me, I think it should take her ten years at least!” “Oh, I see. Sorry, I didn’t think you’d say something that pathetic.” HAHAHAHAHA I genuinely just can’t absorb Eren saying this dialogue as true, because it feels so stupid and out-of-character, however, Armin’s response is VERY funny

“Twenty-percent of humanity is all that you manage to save. It’s been determined.” “’Been determined?’ But you determined it. You’re the one who kills them!” Eren said: [Count Frollo voice] It’s not my fault, it’s in God’s plan

“I trampled the world because I wanted it.” This is like, the third set of motivations Eren’s played his hand at. When will we land on one that sticks?

“Why? Why did it turn out this way? I finally know. Because I’m an idiot. I’m nothing more than a garden-variety idiot who got his hands on power. That’s why this is the only resolution I can bring about.” I guess this is motivation #4

“You’ll be joining me? Where?” [Pleasantly] “Assuming it exists, in hell.” Armin’s dialogue is so unrivaled in how crazy it is, I almost admire it

“Yeah. Look for me in hell. I’ll be waiting.” “Right. We’ll be together, for all time.” This is the opposite of meet me in gay heaven energy. Meet me in White Boy Hell:

God. Armin’s scream when he sees Eren is dead. Unbearable

“He said that you would make a choice, and that in the end it would cause the Power of the Titans to be erased from this world.” JEAN AND CONNIE AND GABI ALIVE? ARMIN AND REINER AND ANNIE AND FALCO STAYING ALIVE? ALSO WHY WAS THIS NOT AN OPTION BEFORE? Finally, a reason for all of this. The longest, most chaotic, worst path to a reason, but a reason nonetheless

Eren being like, surprise!!! Here is my post-mass-murder voicemail about how much I love you all, besties! Except you, Pieck, I don’t know you. And everyone’s just like, ‘Aw, I missed him!’

I was worried for a moment that Levi seeing the fallen Scouts was an indication he was dying, but it seems like it’s some kind of goodbye present from Eren

“My name is Armin Arlert. And I killed Eren Jaeger. I stopped the Attack Titan and ended the rumbling.” Armin said: I am not afraid to take credit for the murder of my best friend

“All this time it was you, peeking into my head.” Mikasa’s headaches are actually Maternity-TSD from Founder Ymir? Sure, why not

I suppose it would be unrealistic if the fraction of people alive DIDN’T want to retaliate against the Island. What else could you expect?

“But if we must fight, let it be for an end to fighting.” Historia finally gets some agency after her Farm Pregnancy Arc LMAO

“You know, it’s a real shame your life got longer, Reiner.” HAHAHA Jean. This is the kind of bullshit I missed

HAAHAHAHAHAH ARMIN, I see you and Annie haven’t gotten any better at communicating:

Armin: Don’t forget that we’re Scout Regiment. We’re a bunch of dreamers who don’t know when to quit.

Annie: But I was in the Military Police.

Armin, ignoring her: Anyway—

“After trying to kill each other again and again, we put down our weapons and began to call for peace.” I suppose this is the most tolerable possible resolution to an incredibly deranged show

I can’t believe this series has beaten me down so hard with its bare fists that I feel like 80% of the world dying is not the worst outcome. That is OBJECTIVELY AWFUL. I guess it helps that there’s no death/fighting scenes for last third of this episode. It’s just been so unbearable that if I’m not crying or actively nauseous, it’s some kind of victory. What a horrible show

Are we suggesting Eren has been reincarnated as a bird? Sure, fitting for a wings-of-freedom Scout metaphor moment, I suppose!

I’m not going to comment on the mid-credits scenes. This show has put me through enough. I have followed it through to its conclusion, and its conclusion was as brutal and absurd as the rest of it. Goodnight!

#do i recommend this? no #did i watch it? yes #and now i may put it to rest #to be clear: i have no intentions to post about this show ever again. bye #ayesha talks anime #ayesha liveblogs aot #long post #liveblogging #tw: literally everything #aot spoilers #every kind of violence u can imagine is in this show. EVERY kind #i drafted this such a long while ago that they changed the text editor #as u may be able to tell by the fact it still has indented bullets #aot series #funny enough two years ago i ALSO watched j.j.k and this show successively. probably says something psychologically #if u liked this show. i don't think you'll like my liveblog LOL #(it's more of a record of my viewing experience than anything else)#anyway. next liveblog will be smth lighthearted i promise

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waitingformyfavoritesongs · 1 year

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22 April 2023 Saturday 1:03 am pt

Incubus is threatening me not to put up 🆙 my intaglio print picture here. It’s on my Instagram. He is burning 🔥 my vag. Benny blanco put up 🆙 that song 🎵 on his post George Michael. Michael sounds like my kill. 1:06 am pdt no one seems to care though. I haven’t seen any progress towards resolution. Only threats to tear me apart. I wish I never dated Scott. He wasn’t worth getting to know for me Bcz I don’t like 👍 him now. Hot 🥵 above right ear 👂. If they’re threatening me what is it they’re afraid 😱 of? That people will believe me? Bcz my print was made between fall 2007 and spring 2008? And Amar Malik article said July 2010? 1:10 am pdt it would (left hip bone 🦴 pain) point it in my favor slightly but no one likes me so no one will do anything to help me... so? 1:11 am pdt

1:13 am pdt stereo hearts 🥰

1:14 am pdt never going to dance 💃🏻 again Bcz my hip bones 🦴 etc are being taken away. 1:15 am pdt

1:17 am pdt do you think stereo hearts 🥰 sounds like it was written by a girl 👧 or a guy? I would like to see a poll on this. If you didn’t know who. Wrote it. Curious to know what others think 💭 only for experimental purposes. 1:19 am pdt

1:20 am pdt I want (back pain sharp) my bones 🦴 back and my youthfulness! My health. I don’t care about the money 💰! 1:21 am pdt 😞😖😭 1:22 am pdt I want this nightmare to be over!

1:23 am pdt I want to be able to work hard again without consequences such as losing my bones 🦴 and brain 🧠! 1:24 am pdt 😫😤😰

1:25 am pdt incubus attacked my skull 💀 and probably brain 🧠 today from trying to walk 🥺😖😭 1:26 am pdt

1:29 am pdt years and years of postponement and unfulfilled promises so a lot of stuff I won’t believe until I see results. A lot of stuff is like in reruns. 1:31 am pdt my hotel 🏨 is not giving us extra recycling and compost bins... 🤷🏻‍♀️ Nothings changed. Composting should be mandatory everywhere. 1:32 am pdt

1:33 am pdt acid throat pain no tengo dinero. It’s too bad Travis McCoy didn’t become a millionaire. Wait did Bruno Mars? Did either of those guys do stuff in the billionaire song 🎵? Who can I ask for money 💰? 1:35 am pdt Benny Blancos post literally day after my birthday 🎂 so it looks intentionally dedicated to me about not being able to dance 💃🏻 again. 1:36 am pdt and Amar Malik has some weird posts with a pink liquid spill. Rose 🌹 Rosa pink . Shana = beautiful, rose 🌹, Lilly 1:38 am pdt right arm acid throat too

1:41 am pdt incubus pointed something out to me days ago. It sometimes hard to think 💭 when I can’t breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️ and fighting for my life. So it’s okay 👌 if I’m a whore and it’s my fault 🤦‍♀️ Bcz I shouldn’t have dated me for I don’t remember how long how many days but I don’t think 💭 it was more than 2 months. Some people say by the third month you will know if something will become long term? I don’t really remember spending July 4 th with Scott in 2007. Trying to remember but it’s hard. I used to keep everything. But I was bad at putting dates on drawings ✍️ in my sketch ✍️ books 📖. I guess it was my fault 🤦‍♀️. I don’t have a lot of experience with dating. I guess I never learned until Q said it’s supposed to work immediately. But that was after s*x with Scott. I was trying to see if people would grow on me. I was better off hearing the advice b4 not after. My parents are divorced and they have a huge age gap. My parents were pen 🖊 pals. But I guess my dad rushed my mom Bcz he was already very old. He wanted/needed to have babies 👶 ASAP I guess. They tried to make it work. They weren’t the right fit unfortunately. 1:51 am pdt teeth 🦷 pain 1:52 am some times you just bite the cookie 🍪 5 year engagement. My dad had a fiancé who was stolen by another man 👨, so he had bad luck. 1:53 am pdt my dad wasn’t rich 🤑 I think the other man was? 1:54 am pdt

2:21 am pdt while I was at UCB my eczema on my hands 🙌 got worse so I stopped printmaking. 2:22 am pdt I didn’t do printmaking my second year and beyond. 2:23 am pdt

2:37 am pdt incubus is extremely biased and extremely WRONG 😑. He or she is vilifying me about dating Scott. I was attracted to him too much. And I wanted it to work out 🏋️‍♀️ I wanted to like 👍 someone I was attracted to. But I guess it was too dangerous a situation and I didn’t realize it. Bcz it was hard for me to say no even though I wanted to and meant to say no, he physically didn’t allow me to say no. He physically stopped 🛑 me from responding and went for it. 2:41 am pdt that was probably only the second or third time we hung out even though I don’t remember anymore I think 💭 I used to think 💭 I remembered it being very early on. Too early. Bcz I wanted to say NO Bcz my heart ❤️ wasn’t there yet. But he said he could feel I wanted to. Duh 🙄 that’s hormones. But he is probably trying to lie (acid head pain 2:44 am pdt) and twist it into saying he was in love with out saying it then, but twisted it for later when he wanted to make me look 👀 bad. Bcz he didn’t want people to know what happened exactly. I already told him I don’t think 💭 we should be doing this, but he challenged me. It’s not ok 👌 to challenge a woman 👩🏼. If she says no respect ✊ it. 2:47 am pdt

2:48 am pdt at least I verbally said b4 the s*x a very long no. Acid lips 👄 pain b4 I typed. Acid brain 🧠 pain.

2:50 am pdt I seem to be punished for this. I move to ban lap dances from strip clubs . If I’m being punished acid brain 🧠 pain for that then I will be saving every strippers life by warning ⚠️ them this is what they are like. They will eat your brains 🧠 with acid if you don’t claim responsibility for any rape that occurs after lap dancing 💃🏻. If Scott is punishing me then you are warned. He likes teenagers. Teens at my high school 🏫 rubbed their butts on guys crotch in dances. They didn’t get raped? 2:54 am pdt

2:58 am pdt I guess it’s true. I’m going to die Bcz of Scott cano. Bcz they blame me for stuff they tricked me into doing. 2:59 am pdt men are messed up and 😧. 3 am pdt they are not safe (stomach pain) to be alone with or to conduct business 👨‍💼 with. Unfortunate. 3:01 am pdt

3:04 am pdt I will repeat 🔁 myself Bcz now there are too many posts 😑. Women only desire p*nis. Adequately sized. P*nis. Nothing else would satisfy a woman 👩🏼! But we don’t know what men will try to put their p*nis. Into a pie 🥧 or a sheep 🐑? 3:07 am pdt

3:09 am pdt if people like Amar Malik more than me then I guess there’s nothing I can do. They want to award 🥇 him and not me I cannot do anything. 3:11 am pdt

3:11 am pdt in this weird world 🌎 now that is coming out it doesn’t seem to matter who had the idea 💡 first under what circumstances. Whether I forgot about specific things or I wasn’t made 100% aware of the truth and they messed around with my head a lot for a long time b4 telling me. 3:14 am pdt a lot of sharp back pain. I forgot a lot. No crossover. 3:15 am pdt all I thought 💭 was those guys were regular people like me and they were doing weird bad stuff to me. 3:15 am pdt

3:23 am pdt I guess I have to give up 🆙 Bcz god wants them to have what originally thought 💭 was mine. I thought 💭 about stuff for a while b4 I sang in the shower 🚿 in my apartment. Everything (acid hot pain left hip pain bone 🦴 difficulty breathing cruncher groin bone 🦴 3:26 am pdt I need to face the music 🎶 is that this a cruel joke on me😖😭😫 and that there is nothing else to this. There is no new earth 🌍 that we will all go to together. If there was, I would think 💭 that (pain cramp fart 💨 3::30 am pdt) anyone who has a growing family should go first. Hopefully 🙏 that it’s a quick trip! 3:31 am pdt please stop 🛑 hurting me please stop 🛑 taking my bones 🦴😫😖😭🥵🥵🥵🥵 3:32 am pdt

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djservo · 2 years

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[...] I have zero ideia how money works in the US, but it sounds cheaper than paying a power AND water bill value in a Kindle which is the case where I live ― but it would save me a lot of space bc the place where I keep my books is getting full. Guess I'll finally have to get rid of Dan Brown (Deception Point was such a disappointment!! Dan's characters are there only to serve to the enigmas and such and nothing else, b4 it wouldn't bother me, but nowadays it does; AND IT DID, especially when he inserts a brief story about their past with the porpose of using it to cheap drama ― and I could go on and on) 🫠 There's so much I want to read since I got back into reading last year (especially try to read in english to get better!!), but I've been having so many migraines the last couple of months it's almost impossible to concentrate 🧘‍♀️ But out of the 20 I read in 2022, I can mention A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess (and I feel a bit embarrassed bc Alex does SO MUCH shit but he's such a intriguing character 🤷‍♀️), Brave New World by Aldous Huxley (planning on rereading!!) and Nocturnal by Scott Sigler, as the ones that got stuck in my head the most. I would recommend Nocturnal to anyone without giving any context even tho I think most wouldn’t get as excited as I did 🧍‍♀️ I'm trying to get into Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh bc it was the last one I bought alongside Essex County by Jeff Lemire (made me cwy 🥺🧎🏻‍♀️) but I'm not in the right mindset to deal with Renton, Sick Boy & Company!! But I LOVE that movie so much, and books usually tend to show more. But well, we'll see 🙆‍♀️🧏‍♀️ [...]

part 2 of this lovely novella 💌

Well DAMN a kindle isnt That worth it then scratch everything !! 😮‍💨❌ ugh but yes I feel you about saving space — I have very little restraint when I see a good deal for a book I've been wanting to read or really when it comes to secondhand shopping in general - I'm like, it's secondhand so it's fine!! But No!! I literally do Not have the space for more things!!! I did what I THOUGHT was a big purge of my bookshelf a couple weeks ago but I Still have to stack books on the floor bc I can't fit everything on the shelf... like truly two towering piles 🤦‍♀️ Maybe I'll try not buying any books at all this year, or only buy if I get rid of the same amount I already own ykwim 🤨 I haven't read any Dan Brown but I feel like I always see someone reading him at airports so maybe for my next long trip I'll try one of his 😶‍🌫️ (but not Deception Point, got it 👍) I would've assumed English was your first language, you speak (type?) it so eloquently! I've been doing duolingo since the pandemic but even with my 800+ day streak (yes really) I feel like I've absorbed nothing substantial, certainly not enough to feel comfortable conversationally which is disappointing! I always say I wanna take a language class but this year for real... I'm trying to get on UR level, reading books in other languages n shit! 😤💪 also bc I've been thinking so much about the act of translation and how much can get lost/changed, so I think it'd be a really interesting experience to read a book in it's original language + its translation to compare meanings and whatnot 💭

Oooh I loved A Clockwork Orange when I read it!! I still haven't gotten around to seeing the film, but I remember when I was a kid I'd look up clips on youtube to scar myself bc I thought it was all so freaky and bizarre LOL I read Brave New World in high school when I was like strictly in a David Sedaris phase (oh so smart and sophisticated of me 🙄) so I don't think I really cared for it at the time which is ANNOYING! it'd be cool to reread books I was assigned in school now with more Refined skills of interpretation/concentration — particularly Jane Eyre which I stupidly left until the very last possible second to read and we had this big in-class essay coming up so I crammed the entire 500+ pages in one day and it was such an agonizing yet amazing feat 🫡 and I remember I did actually like it despite the cramming, but I think I'd appreciate/take even more from it if I were to read it now and take my proper time with it 🧘‍♀️ ANYWAY. Will definitely check out Nocturnal at some point this year and will Not read Anything about it!! I love going into things like that - I'm trying to stop reading letterboxd reviews before I watch movies this year too bc I have such a bad habit of it 🤦‍♀️ I try not to read reviews of books either bc I don't want ppl's opinions inadvertently shaping mine while I read, but sometimes I just want to make sure a 3+ hour long movie is worth my time ykwim?? But that's all subjective yada yada fuck it, we ball and go into things blind this year!! 🤾‍♀️ I've been meaning to read Trainspotting too! Coincidentally I always kind of lumped it with A Clockwork Orange + Fight Club with the sort of societal commentary/offbeat characters on the outskirts of society thing. Maybe I'll read both Trainspotting and Fight Club at the same time, watch the film adaptations for them (and A Clockwork Orange finally), then transform overnight into a fake deep edgelord dudebro 🃏

#asks #💅 anon

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lpfreakification · 2 years

Text

Xmas (+ work) was ok

Work was surprisingly slow this year. Guess people did their shopping, are broke, traveled, + the wind chill's been brutal. Had 4 or 6 deliveries.

The main adventure was picking up KFC for my coworker in the middle of the shift. I like it when they send me on an errand/mission/side quest XD it's a nice break from monotony :)

*chops my nails off*

(Much better for texting!)

The KFC crew was playing a certain Mexican xmas song in the back.

Me: "Oh no!" XD

KFC lady: "What's wrong?"

Me: "oh! Nothing at all! It's just that song reminds me of my childhood."

KFC lady: "I'll go change it."

Me: "no no no no no, its actually a funny memory. When I was a kid, on the way back from xmas parties, I'd use to rock my head back + forth to this song."

I just keep smiling + thinking of the many times I've done that 😂 I dont like showing my interest of the song in front of fam. Every time they bring it up, they like to rub it in my face in a way. Thus, I frown. Its definitely a guilty pleasure.

When I got home from work, I went straight up to my room. People were in the house XP I knew it was coming but I really dont like to interact with family (when they're physically present). I wont say my reasons again bcuz it's too long.

Instead, I wrote + painted my brothers' names on yellow envelopes. I placed a Dunkin gift card for Elias + 5 packs of pokemon cards for Freddy. Then I wanted to do something shiny for my sister's husband. It helped me avoid people :P

The hour b4 midnight, I ate posole, French silk pie, + brownies. I found two pillows + a hidden corner behind the wine cabinet for me to lay there. For some reason, I kept tapping my foot. I figured out that it wasn't really anxiety (only a little bit) but it felt sorta meditative. It's not the 1st time I felt this sense of peace from foot tapping. (1st time was at a different church).

When midnight struck, everyone came up to the tree. I had to stand + say hi. Didn't look forward to that. I just stood there disgruntled. I snoozed as the little kids opened their presents 1st. Then it was the adults' turn.

I got:

Smoothie skittles

Starburst

A fancy candy apple

9 pairs of food socks XD

A nice fitting brown jacket from Super-Dry X3

Blue gloves

A kh coaster

A blue kh shirt :)

A gray long-sleeved shirt

A red sweater closely resembling my OC

A makeup palette? (I am 100% not a makeup person XP + definitely the least favorable thing I've been given. Luckily the giver already left b4 I opened that. Just, no.)

A fancy winter coat

A corgi sticker :3

A book about the FAQ of the universe

I gifted myself 4 hand sanitizers from Bath + Body Works, 2 yaoi manga, + OHSHC stickers :D

I definitely remember not taking my meds on purpose this morning as an excuse to really sleep in (better not ever make a habit of that). I nearly mistaken my q-tip box for my medicine box. I dreamt of my parents dropping me off to a gang school + i was pursuing a former classmate to retrieve a textbook that they've "borrowed" from me. It definitely felt like hours wandering around the same building.

I woke up, ate some more posole, + played two rounds of Jumanji XD that board game really does make you exercise.

"We should play that more often." XD

I continued with watercolor experiments again until I got hungry again. Ate, finished choosing a certain blue watercolor, + been lazy-ing around watching cat videos X)

Now that that's done...

ITS TIME FOR THE MAIN EVENT!

KINGDOM HEARTS: BIRTH BY SLEEP

*sets up game*

(Let's go!)

#life

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nejiraez · 4 years

Text

one day, you all will know true peace when i stop making bakugou the default character to the maladaptive daydreamz i write. but until then...

get well soon! | bakugou katsuki

pairing: bakugou katsuki x reader // 2.9k words

genre: fluff — contains spoilers from mha chap 298; includes kissing, thats it!

summary: free bakugou until it’s backwards!!! but until then, he appreciates having your presence around as he takes the time to properly heal.

the way i haven’t written a full fic since oct </3... but i needed to post this b4 aquarius season ends tmrrw...

He’s never had to stay this long in a hospital before.

Sure, there were minor check-ins that he had to tend to at the clinics every so often from the injuries he’s received, but he never had to stay more than a few days at hand.

“Only a couple more days until you’re discharged…”

The sound of your voice prompts Bakugou to shift his gaze away from the TV screen stationed at the corner of his hospital room to focus his sights on you. Deep shades of scarlet watch as your hands absent-mindedly pick at the white petals from the bouquet that his mother had gifted him.

Carnations, a ‘get well soon’ present that would prompt him back to wellness. They were becoming quite the eyesore. The stems were beginning to droop and dull in colour with how poorly maintained they had been kept for the past week.

“That must be exciting for you, yeah?”

Bakugou shrugs, but he’s quick to regret his slight movement due to the small wince that follows shortly after. Despite being placed in the hospital for a little over a week now, a great mass of Bakugou’s body still aches. “It’s whatever,” he mutters, dismissing the subject matter altogether, “I’ll be back to doing the same crap over again anyway, so it’s nothing special.”

Closing your eyes, you sink yourself further down into your seat near his bedside and sigh. The windows a few steps away from Bakugou’s left allow for the sun’s late afternoon glow to beam into his room. You’ve sat here with him for the past two hours and a half from when you first came.

“You’re so pessimistic, you know that?” You announce, resting your arms against the bed’s side rails, which promote access to you, propping your cheek onto your hands with your face turned towards Bakugou. “Always thinking so negatively.”

Choosing not to respond to your comment, Bakugou soaks in the brief silence shared within the confines of his room.

For the past few days, other than his immediate family, who was relentless about visiting him as much as they could- save for the days where work would pull them away- your regular visits were something that became apart of Bakugou’s daily schedule.

Wake up. Eat whatever shitty food the kitchen staff has to offer for the day. Wait through numerous check-ups and appointments, while the nurses examine the vital state of his internal organs. And then, he has a bit of free time to himself before either you or any visitor arrives at Hosu General hospital.

“I’m just telling it as it is.”

Bakugou would be lying if he said that he didn’t look forward to your visits.

Like Pavlov’s law, he’s grown conditioned upon awaiting your arrival every day, always finding himself sitting a bit straighter in his bed whenever 15:00 rolled around on the clock.

Growing bored with not much to do, Bakugou allows his eyes to wander the room, skimming each object with little to no thought before his eyes would drop down on your form once again. With your eyes still closed, Bakugou takes this chance to absorb your presence before him fully. Watching the tiny twitches that would happen every now and then on your face out of curiosity.

The amount of fear and dread that washed over you the moment you caught news of how Bakugou jumped in front of his childhood friend, Midoriya, to spare his life, in turn, putting his own on the line had you aching to the bone.

You were scared and couldn’t bring yourself to the thought that you would lose him, and there wasn’t much that you could do about it since you and a few others were far from where the main fight had gone down.

Regardless of whether Bakugou had a chance of waking up or not, you were still adamant about swinging by his hospital room as often as you could until the second day where he miraculously woke up. And caused an uproar as he did. He had to be restrained as he tried to check up on the others’ wellbeing as he did so.

To be placed inside of a room alone, with no one around to tell him what the fuck exactly went on, Bakugou was on edge. Hands down, that day would take the cake as being the most overwhelming experience he has had at his time here. Where were was Deku, for starters? And where did you disappear off to?

He really didn’t deserve you.

Pulling himself out from his thoughts, Bakugou breaks the silence to pester you with something. “Pass me that, will you?” He asks, nodding his head over to the sole snack that sat on his bedside table. Something that one of the nurses left behind for him after his physical exam.

You blink, snapping yourself back to reality. You crane your next behind you, following his line of sight to the bright Tarami packaging. “Sure,” you grab and toss it for him to take.

Bakugou grunts out his gratitude. “Getting to eat normal food again will be the pinnacle of my life,” he states, rolling the Tarami around in his hands. “They feed us nothing but literal dog water and bland shit. “

“I’m sure the staff is trying their best. You aren’t the only mouth they feed in here after all,” you say, referencing the fact that your other peers, such as Todoroki and Midoriya to name a few, found themselves in the same situation as he did.

“I fuckin’ guess,” he mutters in response, his focus shifted onto trying to rip open his snack but to no avail.

“Want me to - ”

“Don’t need it,” he says, cutting your sentence short. His bandaged thumbs are still fumbling to get a good grip on the plastic seal that stood in the way between him and his fruit cup. “This stupid gauze is just - ” The cup tumbles out from his hold and rolls out onto his lap. “Dammit!”

You smile at the display in front of you. Bakugou glaring at the container as if it had crossed him wrong was quite the sight to see. The fact that he has shown no signs of making another attempt at opening the seal gave you an indication that it was your turn to step in.

What a dork.

“Jesus, Katsuki,” you say, shaking your head at his stubborn nature. You take the fruit cup off his lap and, without issue tear the seal off before passing it back to him. He was too headstrong for his own good sometimes. “Nobody’s gonna bite you if you ask for help once in a while.”

Bakugou scoffs - losing steam now, he tips the rim of the cup against his lips, knocking back as many diced peaches he could fit inside of his mouth.

A mix of wonder and admiration suddenly crosses you as you study how quick he is to swallow down his food. Not even bothering to make use of the silver spoon left astray on the stand.

Bakugou silently chews. His cheeks have bulked up in size for the time being until all traces of food have been gone. Cute. “You’re so - ” You start but cut yourself short, wanting to enjoy the serene atmosphere rather than spurring him to the edge towards nagging at you.

You reach your hand out towards Bakugou, thumb grazing the corner of his mouth to clean the small mess he has made, to which he gently swats your hand away. His mannerisms were still the same as ever, never changing.

“I’m so what?” He asks, flicking his attention onto you as he watches the way your eyes linger on his face.

“You’re so amazing, was what I was going to say.”

“Damn straight.”

You half-heartedly roll your eyes at his narcissistic response and reach for your phone, checking the time. “Wow, it’s now getting to 18:00?” You exclaim, swiftly entering the passcode to your iPhone and so that your fingers could scroll to the Tokyo Train Navigation app to check the times of when you should catch the next ride home.

Bakugou brows bump together in confusion at your surprise. “What about it? That means you’re ditching me already?”

“Only for today though, the next train is coming in 30 minutes, and I gotta catch it before it gets dark out.”

As much as Bakugou isn’t a big fan of having your time spent together but abruptly short, he understands where you’re coming from, mentally putting himself in your shoes.

At hours like these, when the begins to sun hide behind the city’s tall, towering buildings, it isn’t an ideal situation to have you walking out alone in the middle of dimly lit streets where villains may lurk at any corner. Especially after the shit show that went down this past week with the jailbreak.

He’d have no problem walking you home at times like this, but he can’t. Not when he’s on a “house arrest” list with the staff of the hospital.

“Fine,” he replies, dropping his head into his hands, which then finds purchase through his hair. Pissed with the cards he’s been dealt with. Feeling like he should clarify about your safety, Bakugou pipes up, “Make sure you ask the front desk to have one of their idiot guards walk you to the station. I hear that they do that.”

“Yeah, of course,” you say, collecting your belongings from the ground. “Not trying to be edited in with the clouds.” A remark that was supposed to prompt a lighthearted, humorous feel to the conversation, but Bakugou remains tight-lipped as ever. A fitting expression for your grouch of a boyfriend.

“I’m serious. Text me when you get home too.”

“And so am I! I love my life.”

And he loves you-- was something that Bakugou refrains himself from saying. It was something that he still had trouble saying verbally but had no difficulty expressing.

You walk towards the door, ready to bid your counterpart a farewell, but he beats you to the punch.

“The hell are you doing?” Bakugou’s voice halts you from making your grand exit.

He stares at you sharply from his bed. Glowering with jaw taut as he eyes your hand placed onto the sliding door. “Cut that shit out, come back.”

“For why?”

You hear Bakugou breathe out a hushed hiss, becoming peeved at how evasive you were when he knew for a fact that you were aware of what he wanted you to do for him. “Come and do the thing.”

At his sudden inquiry, you finally turn around to face him. “What thing?” You prod, wanting to hear him say what he wanted out loud. To be straightforward with you for once rather than dancing around the topic like he always does.

Sidestepping the multiple wires and the IV tube that he was hooked up to, at last, you close the distance between you both. Finding yourself back beside Bakugou’s bed, and now settle yourself down onto the small space that he has created for you on his mattress.

You feel giddy. A hazy warmth exudes from your chest that spreads down to your toes as you watch the slow change of pigmentation in Bakugou’s face. Blotches of a soft, rosy pink littered his exposed neck, indicating the effect that had over him.

Caving in, Bakugou swallows down his pride and utters, “Kiss me…” His tone is wavering in the slightest.

There it was.

Propping your hand near Bakugou’s face to steady yourself, you nod. You’re gentle in the process as you move much closer to Bakugou, attentive as not to brush up against any of his wounds. “Okay,” you murmur.

You think to yourself about how pretty looks from your point of view. Admiring how Bakugou's plush and soft skin was despite the light bruises and scratches he’s gained from the fight, he looked very well-maintained for a hospital patient.

The more time that you take, you become aware of the fact that Bakugou isn’t above taking a fistful of your shirt and tugging you down so that you could meet his lips. Hell, it wouldn’t surprise you if he were to do so right now.

But he doesn’t.

Instead, he waits. Patiently, for you to make your move and just fucking kiss him already. Though there’s only so much he can take before he breaks.

Feeling the bed dip beside him, Bakugou could damn near feel his heart hammering against his chest. “Hurry up and get on with it will you,” he chides, his striking features already beginning to twist into an unreadable expression.

You laugh, unable to bite back your giggles as the male fixed you with his signature scowl. “Look at you, being a bully to the person you want a kiss from...” You say, leaning in close, now only hovering a few mere centimetres from his lips, both of you desperate for what would come next.

“You’re so mean, I swear.”

And that’s when you decide to close the distance, pressing your lips together.

It was quite sweet, literally, for his lips tasted of citrus.

Bakugou does a poor job at suppressing down his groan the moment your fingers wind themselves into his hair. The pads of your fingertips adoringly dance across his scalp.

The kiss starts off relatively chaste, both of you relishing in each other’s warmth as you pepper several small kisses against him—your stomach ties into knots as you experience how gentle he was being with you.

Despite the dull aching pains that Bakugou could still perceive whenever he made broad movements with his arm, his hand steadily finds its way to reach up towards your neck, pressing you further against him to deepen the kiss, swiping his tongue upon your lower lip.

When your tongue comes into contact with his, it’s tentative and quick. And then it happens a few more times before fully feel comfortable enough to full-on kiss Bakugou.

Your thought process was growing muddled. Not a clear premise came to mind as his bandaged hand trails to the small of your back and back up again.

With every sound or hum of approval that you made way past your lips, it fed Bakugou’s desire to satisfy both you and his needs even. His thumb smooths over the curve of your jaw, easing your nerves each time you shyly pull away attributable to the great intimacy that swirled between you both.

He chases your lips, fervent on returning your energy that you were relaying to him, back tenfold. He loves you. So fucking much, and he only hopes that his appreciation and devotion may reach you.

You choke on a tiny gasp. “Katsuki - ” And that’s when he feels it, right in his chest. It’s as if he has been jump-started back to life, his heart quite literally skipping a beat at the sound of his name tumbling past your lips. It was adorable, and he wanted to hear you like that again. Say his name like that again, on loop without end.

Fuck.

With adrenaline coursing through your veins, your breathing was starting to grow laboured now, and you decide to break the kiss before things can escalate and before you miss your train.

Pulling away from Bakugou, the traces of confidence that you once had prior to the kiss have all but flung itself out the window, completely gone now. “I’ll, uhm -” You stammer over your words, brain trying to compose a proper sentence in spite of your current dazed state. “I’ll be back to see you again, with the others.”

With how flustered and scatterbrained you were acting, it stroked Bakugou’s ego beyond belief. A wicked smile threatens to split upon his face, but he bites it down along with his greed to ask for one more kiss before you go. “Tomorrow,” he affirms, flicking his eyes back towards the TV—an entirely new show publicized on its screen.

You hoist yourself up from the bed and stand to your feet, ignoring how your knees almost buckle. “Right,” you say. No fucking way were you this beat up over making out with your own boyfriend, for crying out loud- you thought as you wander towards the door, almost taking out one of the monitors in your trail.

Sliding the door open you step out, but you poke your head back in, stalling a bit so that you could look at the blonde for the last time that day. “But until then, get well soon, okay?”

Bakugou’s eyes stay glued to the screen, trying to distract himself from how damn sweaty his palms were, that or how he could feel the beat of his heart pick up in tempo. Its incessant pounding was all too much for him.

It’s so stupid how whipped he found himself to be nowadays. “I know,” he dismisses, a bit all too quickly. He wants your ass out before you have a chance to glance at the heart monitor he was wired up to.

Fortunately enough for him, you don’t. You wave and close the door behind you, your smile being the last thing he sees.

With the coast clear, Bakugou throws himself back onto his mountain of pillows. “Shit,” he curses, panting out a sigh of relief seconds after you were gone.

That was amazing, you were amazing, he thought, recounting the kiss. He swipes his palms against his sheets, being sure to get rid of any nitroglycerin that may linger to activate his quirk successfully.

Bakugou can’t stress how much he’s aching for nightfall to come, knowing that he would be one sleep from getting to see you again, and again, and again, until he would finally be let free.

But until then, as you had said, he had to heal.

And with the knowledge of you being around whenever he needed you the most, Bakugou was most definitely on the bright path to a speedy recovery.

#bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bnha x reader #mha imagine #bnha imagine #bnha scenario #original #cress to charlize for snagging this screencap from a twt thread mwah

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01solarsmiles · 3 years

Text

synopsis: you’ve been at jaehyun’s “secret” flat for a while now. you’re not quite sure how long, he says time passes differently here. not that you mind. you’re healing and there’s nothing you have wrong with that. having been away form everything that was bad for you, you’re coming to realise that things really were better with jaehyun. and no matter how many times he tries to tell you, he knows you have to come to that conclusion yourself.

tl;dr: you heal under jaehyun’s caring gaze.

genre: fantasy!au, kind of domestic!au, magic!jaehyun, fluff, smut, fem!reader

warnings: smut in the forms of kissing, titplay, basically motorboats oc, brief nipple play, heavy petting/fondling, grinding (?), oral (male recieving), jaehyun can’t hold his load oops, unprotected sex (wrap it b4 u tap it), creampie, brief cumplay lmao jaehyun is the teeniest bit kinky

other: jaehyun is my soft boi, wanna smooch and cuddle in his pastel coloured sweats, i’m british so he lives in a flat, soft smut… almost r*mantic,,, jaehyun is a boob man; do what you will with that B), jaehyun uses pet names bc i think it would be sickly sweet leaving his lips, time is relevant so i can do what i want with this thanks xox

wordcount: 8.5k

a/n: this is a continuation from the last chapter. i split it bc i needed inspo lmao so once again, not happy with how it ended previously so i had to write more. admittedly, it was origianlly one long piece but i realised i wanted to add more depth to when they’re living together (basically) so i split it therefore enabling me to write what i wanted about them being cute and stuff. yeah.

You had been given a wheelchair by the hospital but had refused to use it, wanting to prove that you were okay, to yourself and Jaehyun. He had convinced you to stay in it as you left the hospital to please the staff on your way out but you had point-blank refused when you made it to the small block of flats he said he lived in. After walking two steps from the car you let out a whimper and gave in to his incessant pleas to get you to sit in the wheelchair.

Oddly, there had been no one in the foyer and you hadn’t bumped into anyone in the hallway in front of the lift. He had helped you when you made it into the flat, moving you over to the sofa where you melted into the plush cushions of the seat.

On the way here, the two of you had already argued about where you were going to stay, him insisting on not leaving you alone and you insisting that you’d be okay at a friends place. In the end, he promised to contact your friends and family to tell them you were spending a little time away (you wouldn’t let him tell them you had been to the hospital). After all, he had saved you when you needed it most.

Your cracked lips remained tightly sealed as he folded the wheelchair away and tucked it behind a cupboard where it wasn’t in your direct line of sight.

You decide to look around, wanting to take up some time and to avoid looking him directly in the eye.

The flat was… cosy. It looked lived in, all the trinkets and small collages stuck up on the walls drawing your attention away from the shelves stacked with potted plants. Everything about the room seemed to tie together with another aspect of the flat. You couldn’t help but wonder why he had a place like this.

He notices your inquisitive look, “It’s supposed to be a secret. Though almost everyone important knows this is where they’ll find me if I disappear without an explanation.” Jaehyun moves towards the small kitchenette, fetching a glass of water befoer placing it on a coaster on the glass coffee table by your legs.

You wait for a second, acknolwedging the glass of iced water, then look up, meeting his hesitant gaze, “Everything’s green.”

It wasn’t a deep green either, more like a soft earthy green. Maybe a sage colour, but you were mostly going off of the presence of the plants and the colour of the sofa. Some of the counters in his one-person kitchen were a soft green, accented with wood countertops and a pastel fridge. It was soothing on your eyes, you had to admit.

He nods, unsure what you’re getting at, “Yeah…?”

“The first and second time I met you, you exclusively wore red. And it was glittery,” you point out, one wordlessly eyebrow raised.

He tilts his head, dimples appearing in his cheeks as he stuffs his hands in his jogging bottom pockets, rattling his keys in his pockets, “Just because I wear red doesn’t mean my whole life revolves around that primary colour.”

You roll your eyes and lean back into the sofa cushion, tenderly crossing your arms, “Well, no. I guess not,” you let your headrest on a pillow he slips behind your neck discreetly, “I suppose… I just assumed that you did,” you shrug your shoulders, “wasn’t something I gave much thought to.”

Jaehyun kicks off his trainers and throws his keys into a bowl on the kitchen counter. You could probably stick your arm over the back of the sofa and touch the pillar that separated the two areas if you tried hard enough adn weren’t brusied all over. He’s got a small smile on his face that brings his dimples out as he makes his way over to sit on the sofa with you, letting himself fall haphazardly onto the cushions. “So you thought about me, even a little.”

Ignoring his comment, you take in his flat to its fullest. You weren’t wrong, this man lived in a green, cottagecore aesthetic in his off-time. Admittedly you were a big fan of the wall of shelves stacked with different plants, mostly succulents and cactus -- the odd spine of a book eeking through -- and you even enjoyed the small desk that was home to a few depictions of watercolour flowers. Your eyes fall on the black figure, slinking under the legs of the glass coffee table pitched in front of you, making you flinch as you suppressed your reflex to jump; it was only a cat.

A cat man. Of course, he was.

Jaehyun’s eyes follow yours, “That’s Prim. She likes to keep to herself. Occasionally she curls up with me.”

“You made it sound like you rarely come here.”

“Mhm.”

“You have a cat.”

“I have a cat,” he affirms.

Prim disappears around the pillar into the kitchen. Jaehyun must’ve put down some food for her because you can hear her softly eating followed briefly by the sound of her lapping at a bowl of water.

“And plants.”

“Those too.” He’s not sure where you’re going with this, neither were you, but he was humouring it, seeing it through to the end if he got ot be in your presence longer.

Your eyes go back to wandering around the room, watching how the sun dips in between the curtains and cascades through the room. You had sat in the seat closest to the entrance, meaning Jaehyun’s back was to the window as he faced you while you were talking. He was still dressed in the outfit you assumed he slept in at the hospital. You were dressed in the same clothes you had gone in with, having had to change out of the gown they had provided when you left.

He looked so effortlessly pretty. It made you want to cry.

You suck in a breath and say, “I’m a little tired. Can I sleep… anywhere?”

He nods and jumpts to his feet before helping you to yours. Slowly, you make your way down the hall, almost all of your weight is beared on Jaehyun. He’s practically carrying you but neither of you mention it. It was only a small flat, something you couldn’t wrap your head around when he could probably have anything he liked, and so it only had one bedroom.

Initially, you had put up a fight but he simply said he wasn’t tired and there was a box room he could get a bed into if the sofa wasn’t comfortable enough (it was but you weren’t okay with the fact that he was giving up his bed). You lay on your side, a body pillow supporting your small frame. You were so tense, worried about Soobin and Dan-ah and Mina and your Mum and Dad and Hyejin as she was probably the only friend of yours who regularly checked in. There was so much running through your mind and you almost don’t notice Jaehyun’s soft palm gripping yours, his thumb rubbing over the back of your hand. Unbeknownst to you, he had seen the anxious look on your face and had guessed that you were psychoanalysing everything in your head, cogs turning. He wanted to subtly draw you out from your thoughts... so he let a little of his power surge through his fingertips and into your palm, hoping it was enough to make you woozy.

Without much thought to it, you rested your head on his pillow and fell asleep.

Jaehyun stays, for a minute or two, holding your hand until your grip weakens, your breathing becomes heavier and your chest goes into a steady rise and fall. He watches, as you lay, unbothered by the world outside. You looked at peace. At home.

Was this the first time you had been able to wind down like this?

He sighs, wriggling his hand from under yours and gets up to leave before he pulls a brown monochrome blanket over your frame. A slight frown etches itself on your forehead as your fingers twitch, looking for the hand Jaehyun had slipped away, before you subconsciously grip the blanket and curl into it instead, the frown erasing itself from your face, leaving you looking at peace once again.

You wake up to the sun going down outside, a blanket covering your body and pillows squished underneath to support your body.

You’re tender. That’s safe to say.

The room was airy; Jaehyun had left the window on the latch and the door cracked open so as to not make it stuffy. Glancing around, you notice the simplicity of it. Bed, side table, lamp and wardrobe. It differed massively from the rest of his flat. Maybe he hadn’t gotten around to decorating substantially in here.

You get up, perching yourself on the edge of the bed before making your way out of the room. Shuffling along, you cling to the wall as you know full well you shouldn’t be venturing around by yourself and make your way to the living room, “Jaehyun?” you call. The calling stops when you spot Jaehyun with an open book lying in his lap while he snores lightly, passed out on the sofa. The corners of your mouth twitch, curling into a smile at the sight of him so peaceful.

You hold out your arm, inspecting the bandage on it. You sigh, “I need a shower.”

You turn back, headed towards what you assumed was the bathroom. The door creaks open; thankfully, you were correct. There are fresh towels hanging on the rack and a laundry basket sits tucked into the corner. Stripping from your clothes gingerly, you turn on the shower. While it warms up you unwrap your bandages and softly poke the back of your head. You’re probably not supposed to submerge it yet so you work with what you can. The shower itself was a standalone that had frosted glass wrapped around it, hiding what was on the inside if anyone were to look in.

The whole ordeal was a show in itself, you carefully moving things about, trying not to knock anything all while trying to do your best with what you’ve got. It wasn’t the best situation in the world but it was the best out of the hand you were dealt. Having not been back to your flat to get anything, you didn’t have any of your usual hair products so you used the products that were already there and a lemon body wash that had been sitting patiently.

Eventually, you finish up with half-washed hair and a mostly clean body. Your fingers had pruned long ago and you took that as a sign to get out of the shower to stop using all the hot water.

You stepped out, and grabbed the towel off of the rack, wrapping yourself in them. They were so soft against your skin. Holding it tightly against your skin you move to stand in the middle of the bathroom. It wasn’t big but it had an oval mirror hanging above the sink. Staring at your reflection for a little, you internally pick apart everything you don’t like.

Staring with the obvious bruises. “I’ll heal,” you tell your reflection, “I won’t degrade myself like that again.” Your fingers brush against your towel-covered ribs, making you flinch. “He won’t do this to me again; I won’t let him,” you pause before whispering, “I’m not going back to him.”

By now, your eyes are watering a little so you sniffle and wipe the forming tears away before they’re given the chance to fall. You deserve better. You know this. “I deserve better. I am worth better.”

In the middle of this, Prim slinks through the crack of the door, making you jump a little. With your hand on your heart, you take deep breaths, watching as she jumps onto the closed toilet seat and sits down on a pile of clothes. A pile of clothes you don’t remember putting there. Your eyes widen at the thought of Jaehyun seeing you naked but then you whip your head to the shower walls, reminding yourself that they’re frosted and he would’ve only been able to see an outline at the most.

Prim purrs, drawing your attention back to her.

She blinks at you. She’s so calm. You reach the backside of your hand out so she can sniff it. After a quick sniff, she turns her head and rubs it into the palm of your hand. You gratefully accept her and let her continue to rub herself on you as you alternate between scratching the underside of her chin and the back of her head. She purrs in content and you let out a quiet giggle.

Jaehyun had been awake for the past ten minutes or so. He’d dug through his drawers, pulling out an old pair of jogging bottoms that he’d bulked out of but never gotten around to throwing out, a pair of clean underwear and a jumper that was currently his size but probably oversized on you. He’d slipped them onto the toilet seat (thank god it was so close to the door) without peeping past the sink and must’ve forgotten to pull the door up all the way on his way out.

He listens to Prim purring and you giggling softly from the safety of his sofa in the living room, a smile making its way onto his face. He had flicked on the table lamp on the end table by the sofa, continuing to read his book – A natural history of Dragons. Not as accurate as he remembers but a little light reading never did anyone any harm.

When you stepped out of the bathroom, you looked fresh. Swamped in his jumper and bare feet padding across the panelled flooring. He looks up from his book, noticing you gradually making your way over to him, he jumps up, trying to help you. You looked cute with your sweater paw leaned up against the wall.

He tucks a hand under your armpit for leverage, you turn, a little surprised and open your mouth to say something but can’t bring yourself to when you realise how close your faces are. Jaehyun either doesn’t notice or pretends to not know, making you feel more embarrassed than you thought possible. His musk engulfs you, overriding your senses and you hesitate in your step.

“Oh,” you say, face hot to which you can only pray he doesn’t sense how he caught you off-guard, “you don’t have to–”

“It’s okay,” he whispers softly, hands pulling you into him so he can use his body strength to help too. You feel goosebumps from his caring touch and you wonder about the last time someone treated you like this.

Since when did he become so domestic?

You brush it off and he helps lower you down to the sofa and Prim follows suit, helping herself to your lap as she curls into a ball, letting you run your fingers down her back in a soothing motion.

You could feel the heat rising up your neck at how close the two of you had been, your mind running to months before when you had been close to him. Before, you had been embarrassed about yourself as he was helping you out of the hospital but he had reassured you that you had nothing to worry about – the gentleman that he was – he didn’t want you to feel ashamed. So, you let yourself relax on his plush sofa cushions while he went about making something to eat for the both of you with a grin on his face, knowing all too well what he had inflicted upon you moments ago.

That’s how the next month or so went by. You pushed yourself to your limits, all of your minor injuries healed (somehow), and followed Jaehyun around while Prim followed you. As promised, Jaehyun brought home a bed for the box room to which you insisted on sleeping in since you were the one who was the guest but he had none of it. In the end, he dressed the room up nicely and it ended up looking like it had been there all along.

At first, Jaehyun hadn’t let you do any of the things you offered to do, especially the cooking. He had a large repertoire of recipes up his sleeve and wasn’t letting you do anything to strain yourself.

Your phone had briefly glitched the first time you turned it on, which was odd on a good day.

“Time passes differently here,” he had explained, “Einstein was right about that one; time is relevant. He almost caught us out one time with his research into it but Yuta turned him around and set him back on track again.”

To which he then had to explain to you who Yuta was. He sounded nice, harmless but what got you was the fact that there were more people like Jaehyun. You had yet to meet more than the man who stood in front of you as he explained that to you.

Weeks into your stay, he took you round to your place, helped you pick up your things and also helped you leave a thick layer of red glitter all over your now ex-boyfriend’s penthouse. He deserved it. According to Jaehyun, your ex was in the process of moving out, as per Jaehyun’s convincing argumentative skills.

You rang some of your family and friends, asking after them and telling them you were okay after it was established between you that you and Soobin were no longer together but the most heartbreaking one was between you and your niece. She had been there, she knew now, even if you didn’t want her too, she knew. You could only pray that it slowly faded from her memory, for her sake more than yours, as she grew older.

According to Hyejin (when she rambled to you on the phone as she bawled, bless her), Soobin had been given the sack and lost most of what he owned. He’d also been sporting a black eye for two weeks after you got out of the hospital. She had been the first person you rang but the small detail had slipped your mind until later that night. You tried not to outright weep tears of joy, knowing that he’d had even the tiniest bit of his own medicine fed back to him, followed suit by you quizzing Jaehyun to which he hid his knuckles behind his back as he walked in with a tray of sushi that had been delivered tonight as a treat before your anime marathon.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I haven’t seen him,” he throws his keys into the bowl on the kitchen counter after toeing off his shoes in the entrance of his flat.

Having had time to heal, you pull yourself to tuck your legs underneath you as you look over the back of the sofa. “Jaehyun,” you warn. Prim materialises from the depths of Jaehyun’s bedsheets, where you had left her earlier, to greet her beloved owner. She purrs against his leg and he leans down to scratch behind her ear.

“Y/n,” he says back, trying his best to match your tone.

Your eyes follow Prim, closely watching as she jumps onto the kitchen counter and paws at the key-bowl. Tucking your bottom lip between your teeth you nibble until you can form a sentence that wouldn’t betray you when it left the corners of your mind.

Thinking about it, you decide against arguing with him on it. If he was lying it wasn’t something that was going to stop you from hanging around him, so why push it? Because you wanted to know why. “You were out a while after you texted me you’d finished food shopping the other day, where’d you go?”

Jaehyun glances at you, his hair stood slightly on end as if he’d been running his hand through it, possibly one too many times. It was shorter than when you had first come into his care – you’d helped him one day to trim it. You’d also insisted that he let you do it because you used to cut your hair in the bathroom mirror. ‘Not the same,’ he had said but he had handed you the scissors all the same. He was still dressing for comfort, something that you appreciated when the evening came and the tv turned on. It was a small flat which meant a small-ish sofa. He wasn’t against wrapping an arm around you and the two of you had been known to fall asleep to a movie or two in recent weeks.

“Went to work, briefly. Gotta make sure everything’s on schedule; they’d practically die without me to ditto everything they’re already sure of,” he flashes you a grin that his dimples can’t escape, “it’s nice to be home.”

You murmur a response.

Scattering away, Jaehyun has a shower after being out and gets dressed quickly to return to you. He walks over to the kitchen, deciding to grab some things for the evening.

His back is turned to you now, he’s grabbing a couple of drinks from the fridge, the glow of the light illuminating his face.

“I missed you.”

You… what?

The pounding of your heart against your ribcage was deafening. Had you just said that out loud? He turns to meet your frantic gaze, waiting for your response. He can barely breathe out the response, “I missed you too.”

He grins, sinking himself into the space next to you and slings his arm over the back, his hand resting close to your neck. “Awh, did you really?”

Your body practically recoils, turning back on itself, “No. I just wanted you to bring ice cream; I’ve been craving it all week.”

Instantly you regret your choice as he frowns slightly and turns away.

You’re forced to think about the countless nights you’d spent curled up in his bed, some of them the result of you weeping into one of his many pastel sweatshirts you adorned about your failed relationship with Soobin, others about how you had neglected to tell your family and friends about the situation you had been in for almost a year by the time Jaehyun had pulled you away from it. Most nights, Jaehyun heard you, upset and alone in the dark. In the beginning, he wasn’t sure what to do about it, part of him knowing that he should leave you to heal but the other part of him screaming that he shouldn’t let you suffer alone – shouldn’t let you think you’re in this alone when you’re most certainly not where he’s concerned.

The first time he had left you, not sure he had heard correct when he came back from work, groggy from the use of his powers and feeling like he needed to faceplant his pillow from the exhaustion. You had stopped, little sniffles being masked by the vibrations of Prim’s purring against your body where she had hopped up on the bed to comfort you, when you thought Jaehyun was listening, hoping that he would leave you to hurt for a short while longer.

He had sensed your hesitation and made his way to the shower, deciding he needed to be fresh for the next morning.

He was oddly caring. Not that it was odd for someone to care but it was odd for someone to care this much and for the person to be Jaehyun was the cherry on top.

Turning back to face you, he grins, “Wanna watch that anime you were telling me about? I googled it last night and read some forums; apparently it’s good.”

Your eyes light up, “Sword Art Online? Yes please.”

Jaehyun shakes his head, chuckling to himself at how eager you are. He loved when you showed interest in things like this. His auburn hair falls into his eyes as he skims through whatever application he had pulled up (Netflix; no chill) while you weren’t looking and he breathes softly through his nose, concentrating on the screen in front of him.

Once again, you were studying him. It had been a long time since you had arrived. Time is relevant, true, but how much time is too much time?

The sun had set an hour or so ago now and you had already eaten some of the takeaway earlier as neither of you had been interested in cooking. You wondered if he knew how the table lamp accentuated his face, the soft hue acting like his usual haze when he was in his suit – which you learned was the reason he practical glowed as he had since told you there was magic twined into the thread it was sewed together with – and made him look angelic. You wondered if he knew the camel sweats he was wearing made you want to cuddle him and nuzzle your nose into his side, somewhere that you felt more than safe to be. You wondered if he knew how much you liked it here and how you were apprehensive about going back to the real world full time.

You’d been out, of course, he couldn’t confine you to his flat even if he wanted to but he always made sure that there were the correct precautions in place. He was always here, anyway, choosing you over everything else so there was rarely a time where you could go out without him. Smiling to yourself, you remind yourself that you don’t think you’d want to go by yourself when there’s a perfectly good Jaehyun waiting for you.

His hair fell in soft waves on his forehead, and his brow furrowed as he tried to figure out why he couldn’t find Sword Art Online for you two to watch. The two of you had fallen into a routine, he pats his leg, signalling for you to lay your head down on his lap as he pulls a pillow from behind him for you to rest your head on.

Shifting your body, careful of your ribs still, you lay down and wrap a hand under his leg for leverage, being sure to keep it closer to the back of his knee than his thigh as it was easier to curl your hand. He didn’t mind because when you sat and watched horror movies you would squeeze his leg in anticipation for a jump scare of sorts. He thought it was cute.

Eventually, he finds it, “Here we go,” he mumbles, clicking on the first episode. You settle in, pushing your face further into the cushion as Jaehyun lets his hand rest on your shoulder, somewhere safe for him to touch. His other hand plays with your hair absentmindedly as the episode begins, showing the people who had been waiting for the game to come out so that they could play it.

It remains like this, you making comments here and there, ooh’s and ah’s coming form both of you as you talk about the episode before it rolls over to the next one. At one point, he says something that makes you sit up completely, throwing him off as your warmth leaves his body.

“Did you just suggest that Kirito could be –”

His eyes widen, “I merely suggested that he –”

You scowl, pout and cross your arms, your cardigan falling off your shoulder at an angle, “No! You said what you said. It’s out there now, in the cosmos, for all to judge. You can’t take it back.”

He’s looking at you, first with shock but then with an expectant look. All you were doing was arguing over anime. You’re not sure you remember seeing him like this, eyes filled with something you cannot describe. Is this what being loved feels like? The flying thought catches you off guard and you hold your breath. He wonders if you know that’s how he’s feeling, how he’s seeing you. The rose-tinted filter settled in and he was determined to keep it that way for a long time.

Jaehyun had got dressed after his shower into a sweatshirt and sweatpants, and joined you on the sofa while you were watching the back end of a drama you had been meaning to watch for months before you had switched over to anime. It was your thing; watching anime together.

His hand reaches to rest on the side of your face, thumb brushing your cheek and fingers splaying down to reach your neck and brings his face closer to yours, making your breath hitch. The last time you had been like this neither of you were thinking in coherent thoughts. At this point, you’d spent months with him, hiding from your family and friends – only partially as you had wanted to gain your confidence back again and go back with a real job.

His hair was still drying on the ends where he hadn’t bothered to towel dry it. It brushed against your forehead as he brought his forehead to rest on yours, savouring the moment.

Breathily, you manage to say his name.

He hums in response, eyes trained diligently on your lips, waiting for your response. He doesn’t notice how you watch him watching you, he’s enamoured. He loved when you looked like this. So carefree. So pure. So… pretty.

“Kiss me.”

He doesn’t wait any longer.

Lips centimetres form yours, he gives you the opportunity to change your mind but you bring your lips to his, not wanting to drag this out any longer. His fingers stay on your face while your hands have yet to find somewhere to be placed – something that Jaehyun notices – so he picks up your hand and curls it around the back of his neck before wrapping his own around the small of your back, a smirk finding its home on his face.

Feeling more confident, you bring your free hand to splay across his cheek, thumb mindlessly rubbing the dip where his dimple becomes prominent. His hair stands on end on the back of his neck, the sensation of your fingers brushing his face so calmly as he pulls your lower lip between his having caused goosebumps to form down his arms.

Secretly, he was glad he was wearing his sweatshirt so that you couldn’t see how sensitive he was to you.

Jaehyun leans gradually away and you chase his lips, not wanting to forget the feeling any time soon. All of the time you had spent with Soobin and yet none of the moments you had shared felt like this. It made your heart pound and the butterflies were making their way up, tickling your diaphragm as you struggle to breathe.

“Y/n,” he begins, lids heavy and forehead pressed to yours. He’s not really sure what he wants to say… how does one express the euphoria they feel from finally doing the right thing and knowing it’s the right thing? Because that’s how Jaehyun felt. You knew he wanted to say something so you lightly prompt him.

“Jae… what are you thinking?”

His lids close and he bumps his nose with yours, lips parted, “I want to kiss you like that more often.”

You giggle, which throws him off, “Do you?” He looks up to meet your wandering gaze through his lashes, “because I want to kiss you like that more often, too.”

He grins, tightening his grip around your waist, pulling you in until you’re straddling his lap. “Oh yeah? How about I do just that, then.” His lips return to yours. You noticed that Jaehyun’s lips tasted of cherry chapstick, and you loved that, deciding to part the seal of his mouth with your tongue to devour the taste further.

The subtle curve of his lips was something you didn’t want to forget – that was for sure. You work on memorising this feature and lightly tug at the tufts of hair at the back of his head, making him moan into your mouth ever so slightly.

“That was adorable,” you mumble against his lips, lowering yourself so your bum is resting on the heels of your feet either side of his thighs.

His face flushes but he pretends to not notice and instead lets his hands roam until they’re palming the globes of your ass.

This shocks you into action a little, the squeezing fingers forcing you to lift and lean on your knees, breasts pushed up against his chin as you continue to kiss him.

As you slipped your tongue to mingle with his, you decided then and there that you were absolutely in love with kissing him. Possibly smitten, just a tiny bit.

You had worn a tank top and a light cardigan for comfort around the flat, not wanting to pull jeans on and a blouse every morning and instead opting for leggings and light-tees regularly. You weren’t sure what kind of man Jaehyun was, an ass or boob man but something igniting inside you and hardening in his sweatpants told you that you were going to find out pretty damn soon.

Pulling away you offer a small smile at him, he grins, like he knows he’s about to get a present he’s been waiting for ages for. Ironic, considering his job profession.

You bite your lip and let your hands fall down to his arms, running your palms up and down his biceps. By now the episode had rolled over and was about 10 minutes into the next but you and Jaehyun were far too distracted, you figured it would have to wait. It would still be there tomorrow when you could rewatch it and continue your marathon.

His own hands rest below the curve or your breasts, thumbing at the swell.

You dip your head, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth before letting your tongue peak out and swirl its way down to his neck. Peppering kisses against his tan skin you pick a spot where he makes the most fuss when you reach it and bruise it with your lips. He groans at the feeling of your lips tainting his skin so skillfully and thinks about how you went to waste on someone like your ex before him. His breathing grows heavy and his fingers run up and down your back in a soothing manner, toying with the hem of your tank top every time his fingers brush the bottom.

“Oh my God,” he breathes out when you’re finished.

You giggle, “What?”

You had slipped your cardigan off, letting it fall in a heap on the floor and hooked your fingers under your shirt before throwing it across the room.

Gazing up at you, you can practically see the hearts spinning around his head. You knew that if this was a Looney Toon cartoon, his eyes would’ve been pounding hearts right about now.

“You’re so beautiful,” he sighs as you press a closed mouth kiss to his jaw, “…pretty girl.”

You were left in a dark pair of leggings and your t-shirt bra. It wasn’t anything fancy (you were here for comfort, for god’s sake) but Jaehyun looked at you like you had put all the stars in the sky yourself, something you were unfamiliar with. Pride swells in your chest and lust swells in your core.

“Are you going to keep staring or are you going to do something?” You tease. He merely smirks, enjoying what he hasn’t even done yet, and buries his head between your breasts.

You let out a small “Oof” noise and steady yourself on his shoulders. Leaning on your feet normally would’ve been enough but when he stuck his head between your boobs it had knocked you slightly off balance. Your fingers dig into his shoulder blades, pressing crescetn moons into his skin, but Jaehyun takes no notice as he noses his way to a fleshy spot and attaches his lips.

“Smell so good,” he’s referring to the perfume you had brought with you when you cleaned out your apartment. “Wanna taste,” he mumbles into your boobs. Your panties dampen at the confession, not knowing completely how to respond without crying out a moan.

Unshockingly so, this was one of the few tinmes you had felt like the only girl in the world, not to quote Rihanna, but it was truly a moment you had no desire to forget any time soon.

Instinctively, your hands retire to the back of his head, pulling him closer whilst he goes to town on a hickey he’s suckling into your skin.

Pulling back, he grins, “Perfect.” He’s admiring his handiwork but it still sends the stupid butterflies contained in your abdomemn stir crazy when his gaze meets yours, filled with lust, love, adoration – whatever you want to call it, his eyes contained it. Lids low and mind focused, his hand snakes behind your body to unhook your bra but you stop him.

In fear of pushing you too far he drops his hand and waits, eyes wide for what had stopped you.

“I-I haven’t – no – I don’t…” you struggle to find the correct words in front of Jaehyun, the cool breeze making you shiver in the slightest.

“What is it, angel?” He brings his hands to your waist, rubbing slow circles to calm you.

“Soobin,” you exhale. It was all Jaehyun needed to know so he took a deep breath.

He’s watching you as he says, “I don’t care. That was then… this is now.”

You nod. His features twist into a smile, images of that night coming back to him, “Plus I already fucked you against the –”

Your hand finds itself pressed across his mouth in the blink of an eye, praying he doesn’t finish that sentence, “I know,” you squeak before emphasising, “I was there.”

He tilts his head and offers a mischievous glint, “I thought you didn’t think I was real, simply a figment of your imagination, if I do remember correctly.”

Groaning, you roll your eyes, “Stop with that! You showed up, dressed in red and in the middle of the night after I’d written a letter that only I could know the contents of. Who’s to say you weren’t an incubus, huh?”

A single eyebrow is raised on his part.

“And you were gone before I woke up,” you mumble against his neck, now enticed by his scent again, “I never told anyone because it sounds wild, right? You have to admit that part at the very least.”

That made him take a second to process, “I never thought of it like that,” he mumbles, pressing feather-light kisses up your arm.

“It was something I thought about for a while,” you meekly replied to his unasked question.

“Well,” he begins, “you don’t have to worry any longer,” and presses his lips to your clavicle, fingers unclasping your bra behind you, this time you let him, sighing into his golden touch, boobs pressed against his chest. He groans at the feeling or your unclothed, hardened nipples cutting in on his pecs. You sling your bra across the room, not giving much thought or care towards where it ended up as there were more pressing matters you cared about.

Your neck is tipped back as his tongue dips to the valley of your breasts, he places an endearing kiss to your sternum and sets his sights onto your nipples.

Hand resting on the nape of his neck, you arch into the feeling of his wet mouth latching onto your nipple, peak caught between his tongue and teeth as he teases you, and tug on his hair.

He savours this, moaning before switching to your other nipple, not wanting to leave one without the same amount of attention. At this point, your panties are embarrassingly soaked from all of the stimulation.

“You’re so good to me,” you whine, not talking about just this very moment. You’re reminiscing about the past couple of months you’ve spent in his care too and something tells you that he knows that too.

He releases your nipple from his lips and glances up at you, “Is that so, angel?”

“Mhm,” you mumble, not sure what he wants you to say or what you should say to keep the mood going, “all the time. Miss you so much because of it,” you pout slightly, not wanting to draw too much from the conversation in case things went sideways.

You bring your hands to his cheeks, resting either side and pinch lightly, toying with him. “Keep me happy,” you state before leaning down to kiss him again. His eyes flutter close and you trail your hands down his abdomen, pressing harder with your nails as you slide them down to the hem of his jumper.

“Off,” you mutter against his lips. He gladly complies, you were topless and it was only fair he comes level with your nakedness. When you part momentarily to lift it over his head, your hungry eyes zone in on how constricted his hardened dick was within the confines of his sweatpants.

Jaehyun notices this, ruffled hair askew and mind now clear from the fog you had bestowed upon him when you had kissed him. He knew what he wanted, did you want it too?

Without hesitation, you palm the outline of his dick over the sweatpants, wanting to see his reaction. You were best pleased when he fights the urge to roll his eyes but bites his lip to stop himself from thrusting into your silky touch. Not that he’d felt that today, just yet.

You stifle a giggle, “Eager, pretty boy.”

One kiss is placed to his lips before you slip off of his lap, knees thudding as they land on the floor. You hook your index fingers around the waistband of his sweats and underpants, the tell-tale Tommy band staring back at you, knowing he would comply but you only pull them down just enough to free his weeping cock.

It springs up, slapping against his abdomen, veins prominent from the grining you had been doing earlier. Your mouth waters at the sight and you lick your lips, praying that it lives up to your expectations.

You give him a few slow strokes of your nails up him and one of his hands reaching up to push a few stray strands of hair form your face.

He groans when you finally wrap your slender fingers around his shaft, thumb wiping the leaking tip of his swollen mushroom head. It throbbed a pretty shade of pink, much like his lips, after you pressed a delicate kiss to the top.

“So, so good to me, angel,” are the words that leave his lips when you lick your own before dipping your head to lick up the underside. You offered a devilish smile and lowered your hot mouth onto his throbbing length slowly, wanting to savour every second and push Jaehyun to his limit.

You hum in agreeance to his statement, sending a shiver up his spine and eliciting a moan from him, his hands quickly tangling themselves in your loose hair as he makes a make-shift ponytail to keep your hair out of your face.

Once your jaw has adjusted to the burn of his girth, he helps you bob your head up and down, curling the ponytail around one hand and using that as leverage. Flattening your tongue, you press it to the underneath of his length. You experiment with seeing how much you can take as it’s been a long time since you’ve been intimate with someone like this. One of your manicured hands reaches down to tickle his balls – a trick Hyejin had taught you the last time you were having one of those conversations – and he all but thrusts up into your throat, making you clench your legs and rub them together for some friction as your eyes close tight, forcing tears to run down your face.

“Oh fuck, I don’t think I can ah-” he lifts you off of his dick and brings your mouth to his, pressing hard against your own.

You’re flushed from his abrupt actions but that doesn’t stop you from stripping yourself of your leggings when he practically begs you to. Unsure what he wants next, you fiddle until he instructs you, “Those too,” he gestures to your panties. They weren’t grand but, had you not been about to get it on with possibly the hottest and most caring man you’ve come across, you would’ve been embarrassed about him seeing them in any normal situation.

Once they’re discarded, he stands, shimmys out of his sweats and pants and brings you close to him and guides a leg to wrap around his waist, rock hard dick pressed between your two sweaty bodies.

He kisses you hard, a clash on tongue and teeth; it’s one of the messiest kisses you had ever been on the receiving end of but ultimately still one of the best you’ve been able to experience, and lowers the two of you onto the sofa.

Again, you’re perched on your heels. He breaks the kiss, looking between your bodies to align himself with your entrance. “I’m sorry, angel,” he mutters against the column of your throat.

“Wha-”

He waits no longer before slipping himself into your core impossibly easily, as he sets a killer pace.

Squealing, you let your head fall onto his shoulder as you try your best to thrust down as much as he thrusts up into you but it was proving difficult as he suckled sweetly on the juncture where your neck and shoulder met – sending your senses into overdrive.

“S-so tight,” he breathes out, trickles of sweat forming in his hairline. One of the few brain cells you have working tells you the clench on his next thrust, only making him moan louder than before. In response, he ups the pace, setting his sights on destroying your sweet pussy.

Knowing full-well that he hadn’t tasted your arousal like he had originally intended, he brings his finger to dance across your clit, stimulating the bundle of nerves until you were whining, hips stuttering as your vision hazes, unsure of how to control yourself. Still unable to match his deadly pace, you settle on tensing your legs and hovering above him where he pounds upwards, the sound of skin hitting skin echoing around the room.

You knew that by the time he was going to be finished, your ass was going to be tainted red from where his balls were slapping your underside as he pounds into you.

“Jaehyun,” you barely manage to breathe out, “fu… fuck.” Not what you were going for so you give it another try, “Jae… kiss.”

His eyes linger on your disheveled features. You open your eyes and look down at him, worried that he hadn’t heard you. His eyes meet yours; you pout, “Kiss me, p-ah–” one particularly strong thrust ignites inside you, the tell-tale sign of your orgasm about to snap through you; halts your half-hearted attempt at riding him.

He captures your lips with his, nibbling on your lip before licking it as if to heal it. His fingers are still rubbing tiny circles in your clit that send you over the edge and into complete euphoria, spine arching.

Within milliseconds, your vision is blurring and eyes unfocus, switching for white dots across your line of sight to pair with the white hot pleasure ripping through your core. “Ah,” you whine, “oh... Jae-Jaehyun,” your voice breaks, not being able to comprehend the possibility of more thanone thing happening at once.

As you clamp down on him unintentionally, he groans, unable to hold back any longer and empties his load inside your trembling pussy, cursing as he does.

Moments pass before he can bring himself to say anything, “You’re so perfect, angel. So pretty and perfect.”

You lift your head to look at him. At his fucked-out face you melt into him, swety bodies gradually becoming one and sliding off of his softening cock so you can wrap your arms around his neck and nuzzle closer to him. He brings his arms around your waist, pressing his face into the crook of your neck and breathing sharply through his nose.

“You’re so good to me. Can’t remember the last time someone fucked me that good,” you whisper against the shell of his ear. You have one hand raking your fingers through his hair. You breathe out a laugh as he shivers at the feeling.

Knowing that was probably an ego boost enough, you press a languid kiss to the side of his mouth, not really paying much attention to where your lips landed. Continuing to pepper him with kisses, he stirs slightly, not wanting all of this attention to go to waste.

“Hey, c’mere,” he says, holding you from your waist before slowly lowering you onto the sofa beside him so your back is flat.

You’re barely holding it together, Jaehyun’s cum trickling down the side of your leg from your sore hole. He pushes your legs apart, one falls haphazardly off of the sofa and the other is pressed between his side and the back of the sofa. He doesn’t care, though, bringing two fingers up to meet your quivering core.

“What are you doi – ah!”

A lazy grin spreads across Jaehyun’s face, his fingers now covered in yours and his essence as he stuffs it back into you. The overstimulation makes you quiver but he was determined about making you suffer. “So pretty with my cum stuffed inside you, angel, so pretty.”

By now, you’re convinced he’s drunk but you don’t put it past yourself to consider yourself just as drunk on him as he is on you. You squirm, not wanting him to continue as his fingers repeat their actions. “O-oh, too much,” you whimper, “sore, so fucking sore baby.”

You knew you probably could’ve handled a little more but he obliges, not wanting to scare you away (as if that was even possible) and finishes by pushing his fingers past your lips, coaxing you to lick them clean.

Gladly, you do as he was silently suggesting.

He groans, his dick twitching but he ignores it, knowing you’re still healing and by the state of you currently, you probably weren’t up for another round. Instead, he picks you up bridal style and takes you to the bathroom, feet wobbling a few times on the way before getting to the bathroom.

“Gotta clean up, angel.”

You mumble, putting your legs to use and absently moving to switch the shower head on, soaking both of you in the stall. The water is freezing but you make no complaints, wanting to settle the heat radiating from your body. Jaehyun says nothing too. He just helps you clean yourself as you’re making a half-hearted effort – this makes him chuckle.

Twenty minutes later, the both of you are laying on his bed (the one he gave up for you), snuggled into each other.

For the first time in a long time, you slept in the crook on an arm where you felt safe, possibly loved (that would have to be addressed another time).

While you lay, breathing slowly as you listen to his heartbeat, Jaehyun has his head propped up with one arm and his other arm rests on your side, t-shirt that he had lent you riding up on the side, fingers running up and down as he takes in the feel of your smooth skin under his fingertips.

Jaehyun was smitten.

a/n: hi hello. how, uh, how was it? feel free to leave me some feedback or pop in my ask box. you’re all my angels. i just like posting to post sometimes but interaction is p darn cool too. lyl <3

i follow from @00solarsmiles

net: @neowritingsnet

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goji-pilled · 2 years

Note

a drabble in th DW AU, maybe a year b4 Anthony is born but after the events with Hanna nd Walpy.

"Hey, Homura?"

Lifting her eyes away from her book, a story detailing the events of teenagers traveling the world of the human subconscious, the Time Traveler looked at her friend-and-maybe-sister. Saya- Oktavia. Oktavia von Seckendorff Akemi, you're better than this! Oktavia looked at her from seat on the couch, fishing magazine left forgitten on the cushion.

Raising an eyebrow Homura nodded at the Witch before her, all of them resting after a day of saving Witches and giving mercy to other Witches. Today was a long one where they helped brought back some lives before they lost themselves to despair, reunited friends and families. It always warmed Homura's heart a bit whenever they successfuly Domesticated a Witch, her thoughts escaling to a certain clockwork theatr girl...

"Stop me if I hit a nerve, or if you don't wanna say anything. But I was wondering... ever since you told us about how you wished to, ya know, go back in time... And how you had to repeat March and April so many times until now... I was just- just wondering, outta the blue, and it popped into my mind and I, uh-"

Homura would readily tell anyone who asked, after she was severly ineberated - by sleep deprivation or alchohol whichever came first - that she missed all her friends. She missed them all, loved them all like they were her family, and was always disheartened whenever she had to reaquaintace herself with them. Homura obviously wouldnt give or do anything to change her current present, to alter reality to fit her needs when she already has so much.

But she'd appreciate if Oktavia, and everyone else really, would stop walking on eggshells around her.

"Oktavia there is nothing you need to worry about saying that wont have me either breaking or leaving mid-stasis." Enforcing her statement the Time Traveler closed her book and daintily pressed her hands together, the picture of immaculate ladiness in high class society. "Now please, either speak your mind or stop searching for flys; mermaid you are we still have food in the fridge."

Oktavia seemed to momentarily want to bean the other girl over the head eith something, but to Homura's shock and pride the Witch mearly scoffed and slumped into her seat. After a moment where Oktavia had only conflicted eyes and a guilty frown, she opened her mouth once more.

"Did- Do we usually hate each other, at first?"

Oh. This was going to be one of those Talks isn't it?

Slumping into her own seat, the recliner letting out Homura's unspoken groan, she shifted into her uniform and brought out a bottle of cider with two mugs, things she cant really recall picking up during her loops. Setting the mugs down on the table the Time Traveler poured out the contents of the bottle into two awaiting vessels. Then, once the mugs reached near peak overflow she stopped and put the bottle down, resting it with her book and the mugs.

"... I suppose we never really hated each other in other time lines. If anything, during the earliest of loops we held an... unspoken competition between each other." Picking up a mug Homura drank her cider, wincing at the bitter taste, seriously when and why the hell did she grab this?

Following her friends actions, Oktavia took her mug and tried to drink the cider, scrunching her face up for some bad after taste. She surprised the both of them when she drank half of her mug without batting an eye; she actually kinda liked it!

"What kind of, rivalry did we have, I guess?" There were some ideas Oktavia had when she was still Miki Sayaka, of having childish competitions and pranks being pulled on the Transfer Student. There were times where she wanted to see if the dark haired beauty was still human deep down.

"Usually we never really interact with one another, unless Madoka introduces the two of us. Whenever we do you always held this ugly stare whenever it was just the three of us. I was always worried I had slighted you in some way.

"Then I learned - from yourself by the way - that you were just very petty and jealous of me."

Oh god. Oktavia's face was on fire now, her heart was beating like mad as she very easily imagined herself getting bitter at Homura should they ever first meet up. Hell, she remembers when earlier in their second year of middle school Madoka told Sayaka of the dream she had involving Walpy and Homs. She can intimately recall the shock and bitter feeling she had when Madoka went on and on about a "dark haired magical girl".

She was really such a fool, gods.

"W-wu-wuh-Wait a second! What do you mean I was jealous? I mean yeah, I could get it if ya hogged up all of Madoka's free time to yourself-" understandable, really, Miki Sayaka was a lonely girl and always wanted to feel needed by her best friend, "- but to have some sorta conpetition? I don't, what?"

Homura giggled - she fucking giggled, damn her - into the mug she barely drank out of, sipping some more cider. "I was shocked myself, when you approached me and declared us rivals for, and I quote this, 'the position of Madoka's future wife'!"

Ooooh boy if she wasn't embarrassed she was now. All the jokes she mad eaboit Madoka being her wife were biting her in the ass. Fuck, actually now that she thought about, her constant "waifu-claiming" of her best friend raised alot of flags about herself.

She was destined to fall wasn't she? Baka mitai~

"If you want, you could guess as to how you went about setting up our little 'competitions'? They were actually fun to partake in, looking back." Ah, Homura had her Wistful smile. The smile she made when she remembered happy memories. At least there was some good from her other selves shenanigans.

"*sigh* Alright, let's see... Did I ever have us fight for Madoka's hand in marriage or something?" She didn't want to think it but that sounded like prime Miki Sayaka bullheadedness. She was amazed to see Homura shake her head.

"Surprisingly you never did. You always made claims, around the others too, that you'd treat Madoka better and show me my place, but that was all in jest and in moments of levity." Oh thank god, past her wasn't a total jerk or moron.

They ended up playing a game of sorts, Oktavia guessing what past versions of her did to fuel their rivalry, and Homura telling stories of every time she failed to beat Miki Sayaka in her little games.

Eventually their mugs were empty and were left in a quiet mood. The tension rose between them as the felt the other shoe about to drop, the merryment soon to vanish.

"I can't... really recall the last time our games ended. I just know that one day, I tried going back to 'Moemura' as you all called me at one point or another, and you just..." She was sad. Homura had one hell of a poker face, even when she let herself go around her family. But Oktavia knew those eyes, they were eyes that had their hearts broken and stomped on, their hopes and dreams shattered.

"Sometimes you were already an item, a fact I was disheartend but happy to learn, knowing you'd keep Madoka loved and safe. But whenever she tried to help us become friends, you became bitter and jealous. I ended up falling back into my own cynicism and... the loops affected our relationahip and karmic destinies..."

Right, something Oktavia still sometimes forgot about. How each looped compunded their worth, their potential, their power. And even sometimes theur memories. Oktavia couldn't ever recall feeling senses of deja vu, but she'd imagine Madoka feeling it a lot.

"I started distrusting you, disliking you whenever we tried to be friends, huh?"

"Indeed... it got worse whenever I tried explaing the System, and the Cycle. Yku always reacted the worst, initially, out of everyone."

"... I never, like... attacked you, unprovoked... did I?"

"No, you never did. I always hoped it was because you remembered our games... the times where you listened to me and gave me a chance to speak my mind..."

"... I'm sorry Homura. For making your life and mission harder than it should've been."

"You don't have to apologize. When I learned who you were as a person, who you are at your heart, I could never hate you for it. Disgruntled, bitter and even tired yes. But I never truly hated you."

"... I-I don't... *sniff* Thank you, Homura. I'm sure the other me's also didn't hate you. Maybe they couldn't remember why, exactly, maybe it warped them, but I-I know that- In my heart I never hated you in these past two years. You're family to me."

"I- *cough* Thank you, Okta-"

"Sayaka. For now."

"... Thank you, Sayaka. I- I missed you. I missed my friend. My 'rival'."

"...Heh. You better treat her right, got it Transfer Student? Or I'm gonna have to lay the hammer of justice on ya, for breaking a fair maiden's heart!"

"Oh heavens me, I'd never dream of it you incessant Flounder. I would sooner expect barbs than encouragement from my opponent! Perhaps I have, earned a blessing of sorts?"

"... Yeah. You did.

... love you, Homs."

"Love you too, Sayaka."

"Eurgh, nevermind. Never say that name in that sentence evr again. Feels wrong."

"Agreed. Eat shit and die."

"Mmm yes, fcuk you."

As the two friends laughed to themselves, they never noticed their best friend Kaname Madoka keeping to herself in the kitchen, having made her way downstairs as they lost themselves. She had her hands pressed against her face, blushing like made over hearing the personal conversation.

Even as she smiled benath her palms, she shed tears of joy knkwing her two best friends were getting along, were reconcilling with each other. It made her happy, knowing the two people she loved were becoming best friends too.

And she now had to make a move on Homura before she gets any lip from Mama or Sayaka.

／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼

AND THEY WERE FRIENDS OUGH

#felix answers #domestic witches #UEUEUEUEUEUEUE

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ceealaina · 3 years

Text

Title: Crashing Through Your Door Ship: IronHusbands Rating: Teen Major Tags: Pre-Iron Man 1, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining Card Number: 5023 (Tony Stark Bingo) 3002 (IronHusbands Bingo Square: R4 - Mutual Pining (Tony Stark Bingo) B4 - Fake Dating (IronHusbands Bingo) Link: AO3 Summary: To give himself a break, Tony's been using a made-up boyfriend to get out of meetings. He gets to stay home and tinker, the board things he's settling down, it's a win-win situation. Right up until Obie decides he wants to meet this boyfriend that's taking up so much of his time.

But what kind of best friend would Rhodey be if he didn't step up to be Tony's fake boyfriend? Tony’s nothing short of relieved and so Rhodey dresses up to be his date to the gala-of-the-week except wow, pretending they’ve secretly been in love for the past year is way easier than it should be... Word Count: 9237

Rhodey jogged down the stairs of Tony’s shiny new Malibu “beach house” (the thing was ridiculously large if you asked him, but Tony hadn’t) and let himself into the workshop. “Honey, I’m home!” he called out, blinking when he was met with a dark room. “Tones? JARVIS said you were down here.”

There was a faint groaning noise from the far corner, and when Rhodey turned the lights on, he found Tony sitting in a chair, slumped over his desk with his face buried in his arms.

“Oh no,” Rhodey deadpanned, picking his way through bits of machinery to kick Tony’s foot. “What did you do now?”

“I fucked up,” Tony moaned, the words muffled by his position. He lifted his head to peer at Rhodey, looking bleary in the face of sudden brightness. “Your concern for me is overwhelming, by the way. Really feeling the love here, Rhodes.”

Rhodey shrugged, unperturbed. “Your world is ending like every other week, and I was promised pizza and beer -- which I even brought because I’m an amazing friend -- so… If you’re gonna have a breakdown can we at least do it where there’s food?” He gave Tony a broad grin and a wink, and Tony rolled his eyes, trying to hide his own fond smile as he pushed back from the table.

“Yeah, alright, let’s go.”

When they were upstairs and he could get a better look at him, Rhodey had to admit that Tony was looking a little more frazzled than usual. His hair was extra fluffy, like he’d run his hands through it about fifty times, and his fingers were tapping out a constant jittery rhythm against his thigh. Rhodey waited until they were settled in front of some action movie, but when Tony wasn’t forthcoming with any information, Rhodey nudged his side. “Hey. You gonna tell me what’s bugging you?”

Tony groaned again, burying his face in his hands. “You’re gonna make fun of me,” he whined.

Rhodey smiled, even if Tony couldn’t see it. “Probably,” he agreed easily. “Tell me anyway?”

Tony huffed and pouted and squirmed but eventually he relented, shifting to sit sideways on the couch and face Rhodes. “Okay, so.” He sighed heavily. “You know, I’m head of SI now.”

“Really?” Rhodey drawled. “I hadn’t heard.”

Tony elbowed him hard in the side. “So there’s all this… Stuff that goes along with that. Like I wasn’t looking forward to the board meetings, but at least I expected those? But there’s all these other meetings, like fifty a day were nothing actually gets done, and there are the charity events, and the gladhanding, and the ‘come meet a friend of a friend of a friend of mine,’ and I have to be on all the time and -- Obie wanted me to learn squash, Rhodey. Squash.”

“Aww, come on. Bet you’d be cute in those little white shorts.”

“I hate you.” Tony told him. “Anyway, it’s a lot, and sometimes I just want to take a break and go hang out in the lab and build stuff, you know?”

“Do I know that you’d rather be a reclusive little lab gremlin? Yeah, I’d noticed that once or twice,” Rhodey teased.

“Whatever.” Tony squirmed again, clearly embarrassed, and Rhodey waited. “So, you know, to get out of doing stuff when I just really, really wasn’t feeling it, I, uh… I maybe told Obie that I was seeing someone?”

Rhodey blinked at him. “Oh no.”

Tony sighed heavily. “Oh yes.”

He sounded so forlorn that Rhodey couldn’t help but laugh at him, only laughing harder when that made Tony whine and try to smother himself with a throw pillow. “Tones, I say this because I love you, but how is someone this smart this fucking stupid?”

“I know, okay?” Tony wailed, accidentally throwing the pillow across the room as his arms flailed in emphasis. “I don’t know, it seemed like a great plan at first. It’s not like I was hurting anyone. The board even liked the idea that I was maybe settling down a little. So they’re relaxing a little, I get a night off… Everyone’s happy.”

“Until it blew up in your face, like your hare-brained plans always do?” Rhodey guessed.

“I resent that,” Tony told him. “JARVIS turned out fine. Didn’t you, J?”

“I haven’t started taking over the world yet,” JARVIS agreed. “Although I do have several contingencies in place.”

“Everyone’s conspiring against me,” Tony sighed, head tipping backwards to pout up at the ceiling.

Rhodey laughed, poked him in his side. “So what went wrong? Now Obie wants to meet this amazing boyfriend of yours?”

“Insisted on it,” Tony agreed. “Wants me to bring him to the firefighter thing next week. I’m pretty sure he’s on to me. He’s probably trying to force me to confess. Humiliate me so I learn my lesson. So obviously, I can’t give in.”

“Perish the thought,” Rhodey told him dryly, although really, he’d seen the effects of Obie’s brand of tough love. He couldn’t exactly blame Tony for not wanting to admit the truth, especially given how harmless the whole thing really was. God forbid Tony get a break every once in awhile.

“I just don’t know what I’m gonna do,” Tony groaned, scrubbing his hand through his hair again, leaving it standing up in all directions. “I can’t tell him. I thought about faking a breakup, but Obie’s not dumb. I break up with my long-term boyfriend days before he’s supposed to finally meet him? I might as well just tell him in that case. So my only option would be to get someone to fake it, but there’s no way that doesn’t blow up in my face. It can’t be anyone from work, and I don’t really know anyone else. I guess I could hire an escort, but how would they learn everything they’d need to know in time? You know that Obie would try and get them to slip. Plus, it’s not like I can get legal to just write up an NDA here. With my luck I’d end up blackmailed or something…”

Tony was working himself into an epic ramble, and Rhodey nodded along before shrugging. “Or I could just do it.”

Tony had already been off on another tangent, but as Rhodey’s voice caught up to him he stopped mid-word, staring at him. “I -- what?” he asked and Rhodey could already see his mind working overtime, trying to parse out what he was saying.

He laughed. “Or I could just do it,” he repeated. “Come on, dude. I already know everything about you, so I’m not gonna slip. And let’s face it, if I was gonna blackmail you, I would have done it ages ago. We went to college together, I’ve got way better shit than a fake boyfriend.” He nodded as he thought through the logistics. “Yeah, this’ll totally work.”

Tony blinked at him. “Really? Really. You think so. You have met Obie, right? No way he’s buying that. He’d be all, ‘Tony m’boy. I’ve known Jim since you first brought him home for Thanksgiving. You expect me to believe he’s this secret boyfriend of yours? No reason to hide that away!’”

Rhodey snorted; Tony’s Obidiah impression was a little too spot on. “Yeah, like he wouldn’t have had a shit fit if he thought we actually were dating. All the more reason to tell him it’s me. We’ll make him squirm a little. And, I don’t know. Just tell him because it was new, and a change in our relationship, we wanted to keep it under wraps. Have some time to ourselves, get a feel for what this meant…”

Tony scratched the side of his nose. “You’re weirdly smart sometimes, you know that?” he asked, which wasn’t exactly a no.

“The same excuse will work when we ‘break up’ later. Just tell him that now that we’re in the public eye, we’ve realized we’re better off as friends. No hard feelings, no big drama, no ‘it’s not you, it’s me,’ just… Friends.”

“I…” Tony considered this, closed his mouth, blinked, and opened it again. “But…” He closed his mouth again and then sank back into the cushions. “You really think it’ll work?”

Rhodey laughed. “Have I ever let you down?”

“Constantly,” Tony replied immediately, but he was grinning. “Shit. I mean… You make some good points.” He drew a deep breath, mind still running over all the outcomes, and then nodded, a smile growing over his face as he got onboard. “Yeah, okay. I think this’ll work.”

***

One week later, Rhodey was meeting up with Tony in an all-night coffee shop a couple blocks away from the gala, like some kind of Cold War spy fantasy. Apparently Obie had been planning to hang around Tony’s place beforehand, and Tony thought things would run more smoothly if they ‘introduced’ Rhodey at the gala, where there would be lots of wealthy investors to distract him.

There was a little bell over the door that chimed when Rhodey stepped in, and immediately he saw Tony’s head snap up from a table at the far end of the shop. “Rhodey! Hey!” he said, bouncing with nerves like this was an actual first date and not his best friend. Rhodey arched an eyebrow as he reached the table and spotted the two mugs of coffee.

“You sure you need those?” he asked, grinning to try and set Tony at ease. “You already seem jittery enough for the two of us.”

“One of them’s for you,” Tony grumbled. “Leave me alone, I’m kind of stressed right now.”

“I don’t think coffee’s gonna help, man. You look like you’re gonna bounce through the roof.”

“I hate you,” Tony informed him, huffing as he folded his arms across his chest and hunched over in his chair. “You’re doing a terrible job so far, by the way. I thought the deal was you’d pretend to be besotted with me, not tell me how dumb I look.”

“You do look dumb,” Rhodey told him. “That’s what I like about you.” Then, when that finally got a hint of a smile on Tony’s face, “You want me to do besotted? I can do besotted.” He made a show of looking Tony up and down, eyes lingering over his chest and arms and the peak of thigh that he could see slipping under the table before sliding back up to make eye contact again. He tilted his head a little, letting a slow smile spread over his face as he glanced at Tony from under his eyelashes. “You look good tonight, Tones,” he purred, letting his voice drop down to his flirting voice, low and velvety. Then he grinned wide, shifting his voice back to normal. “That besotted enough for you?:

“Uh.” Tony blinked at him and swallowed hard, before shaking his head. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s… Good. Great. Yeah.” He jumped to his feet then, not seeming to notice the untouched coffees. “We should go.”

There was the usual flurry of paparazzi outside the event, but Rhodey had been to enough of these events that his appearance wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. He knew this was more for SI than the media (the last thing Tony would need was a bunch of reporters hounding him about his breakup later) but he figured it couldn’t hurt to start selling it on the way in. Tony jumped a little when Rhodey’s hand settled on the small of his back, even though they shared casual touches about a million times a day, but he looked over at Rhodey with a small smile as he steered him past the cameras and the questions and into the building.

“Hey,” Rhodey leaned in close so they wouldn’t be overheard. “You really do look good tonight, man. That suit suits you.”

Tony snorted at that, but he seemed to relax a little too. “Wow, Rhodes,” he drawled. “Such a way with words.” He laughed though, and his eyes were sparkling and pleased. Then he shoved Rhodey and Rhodey shoved him back and they made their way down the hotel hall like that, laughing as their shoulders bumped together.

As soon as they stepped inside the ballroom though, Tony stopped. Rhodey’s hand had resettled on his back and Rhodey could feel him tense as he spotted Obie, standing across the room and chatting up a bunch of rich-looking men in expensive suits.

“Deep breaths, Tones,” Rhodey told him, shifting his hand slightly in a barely-there rub of Tony’s back. Tony glanced at him again, but his smile was tight now, eyes pinched at the corners.

“Come on. Let’s get this over with,” he muttered -- but he did take a deep breath.

When they joined the group it took a minute before Obie spared them a glance (though Rhodey had no doubt that he knew they were there and was just pulling yet another Obadiah power move). When he spotted Rhodey, his expression shifted, souring slightly before settling into something almost smug. He excused himself with a jovial smile, walking in the direction of the bar without waiting to see if Rhodey and Tony were following him. Rhodey heard Tony sigh softly, and he gave his forearm a quick squeeze.

Obie came to a stop, looking back and forth between them like they were misbehaving children, and finally settled his gaze on Tony, arching an eyebrow. “What’s this? I thought you were going to bring your boyfriend, Tony. Hmm? We had an agreement.”

Personally, Rhodey thought that an ‘agreement’ was an odd way to refer to meeting your godson’s significant other for the first time.

Beside him, Tony shifted nervously. “I, uh… I did.”

Obie blinked and made a show of looking around the room. “And where is he, then?”

“Um, well. I… I mean…”

Obie cut Tony off with a heavy, exaggerated sigh. “Tony, we’ve discussed this. You’re too old to be pulling this kind of nonsense. You’ve got responsibilities, you can’t just run around doing whatever you want. If the board --,”

“It’s Rhodey!” Tony blurted out suddenly, eyes wide. He grabbed Rhodey’s hand half a beat later, tangling their fingers together as he held Rhodey’s hand up for proof. Rhodey gave his hand a quick squeeze in return. “Surprise?”

Obie stared back at them, actually looking taken aback for once. “You’re kidding,” he said flatly. But Rhodey could tell that Tony’s nervousness was actually working in his favour, that Obie wasn’t quite sure that it wasn’t true.

“Nope,” Rhodey told him, meeting Obie’s gaze head on before turning back to Tony with the softest smile he could manage. It wasn’t too difficult with Tony looking as nervous as he did, and the sweet little smile that Tony gave him in return looked a lot more real than it had before. “You know how it goes,” he added. “We were just hanging out late one night, playing video games, everything normal. And I just looked at Tony and thought, ‘wow, I have to kiss that man.’ So I did and it was everything I didn’t know I’d been missing.” He rubbed his thumb over Tony’s hand, obvious enough that Obie would track the movement. “I guess it’s been simmering for awhile, you know? Just didn’t realize it until right then.”

Apparently Rhodey had his smitten face down pat because Obie’s posture eased slightly, though he still looked somewhat suspicious. “Alright,” he said finally. “I suppose congratulations are in order.”

He didn’t sound particularly congratulatory.

“Behave yourself, boys,” he told them before abandoning them in favour of a potential investor across the room.

Immediately, Tony sagged against Rhodey, the air leaving his lungs in a rush. “Oh god,” he groaned, head falling against Rhodey’s shoulder. “I need like seventeen drinks. Jesus Christ.”

Rhodey huffed out a laugh. “Come on, sugartits. I’ll buy you a drink. I know how to take care of my man.”

“It’s an open bar, asshole,” Tony protested, but he let Rhodey tug him over to the counter. “Also, I object to ‘sugartits’ being my nickname, what the fuck?”

“Hey man, I’m just trying to sell the bit.”

“Seriously though. Sugarass maybe, cause, I mean, look at me. But sugartits? Come on Rhodes, do better.”

Rhodey snorted, automatically placing Tony’s drink order along with his own. “Just think of it as payback for all the dumbass nicknames you’ve given me over the years,” he offered.

“But those come from a place of love!” Tony insisted, laughing at Rhodey’s eyeroll.

“Sure, Tones. Whatever you say.” He turned to pass Tony his drink and found him watching him with a look on his eyes that he couldn’t quite place. “What? Something on my face?”

“No,” Tony told him. “I just… I like the story you made up there. About how we got together? That was… Nice.” Then he shifted, clearing his throat. “A nice touch, I mean. I think you really sold it. Anyway! I think they’re bringing out dinner soon. Should we go sit?”

“Yeah, sure,” Rhodey said, a little nonplussed; Tony seemed even more frenetic than usual. “Let’s go.”

Dinner could have gone better. Tony was jumpy and twitchy, hyper focused on his food and constantly losing track of the conversation. Rhodey knew it was nerves, but that didn’t mean much when the board members they were seated with kept giving them odd looks and Obie’s expression was growing more and more suspicious.

They were waiting for dessert when Tony’s arm twitched and caught his (thankfully mostly empty) wine glass, sending it wobbling precariously on the tablecloth. Rhodey’s hand snapped out automatically, catching it before it could fall and ruin the tablecloth along with everyone's fancy clothes. And then, because Tony was going to blow his own cover before the dancing even started, he curled his hand over Tony’s on the table, threading their fingers together. Tony turned and blinked at him, and Rhodey gave his hand a quick squeeze but didn’t let go. He grinned at him and a beat later Tony was grinning back, tension easing out of his body.

They’d decided beforehand that they’d keep it simple, no PDA or soppy love declarations, wanting to be believable. But Rhodey figured that it wouldn’t hurt to turn up the romance a little, so he kept hold of Tony’s hand, only letting go when dessert was served and Tony needed his hand back to eat.

They’d both chosen different dessert options, and Tony’s French chocolate-whatever looked absolutely delicious. Rhodey eyed it, consideringly, and after a few bites of his own dessert, he leaned over and stole a not-insignificant piece of Tony’s. The absolutely scandalized look that Tony gave him had him laughing, nearly choking on his bite -- which was just as delicious as it had looked.

“What?” he asked, giving Tony a sugar-sweet smile in return.

“That’s my dessert!” he protested. “You’ve got your own.” He gestured wildly at Rhodey’s plate with his fork, and Rhodey just shrugged back at him.

“Perks of dating,” he told him, leaning in close and dropping his voice. “Sugarass,” he added, getting a snicker out of Tony in response.

“You’re an idiot,” he grumbled, and then snatched a bite of Rhodey’s dessert in return.

“Hey,” Rhodey protested right back at him, slapping at Tony’s fork with his own. Tony huffed at him, slapped his fork in return, and a beat later they were in a mini fork battle. Out of the corner of his eye Rhodey could see Obie glaring at the two of them, looking utterly unimpressed, but it was worth it for the way Tony was laughing, finally looking at ease. Rhodey’d always thought that Tony had a great laugh, so anything he could do to make it happen was a win in his book.

Obie lasted until the instant the music started up for the dancing and then he was gripping Tony’s arm, pulling him to his feet with just a little more force than necessary. “Tony. I have some contacts for you to meet. I told them you’d be here, and they’d be a real asset to SI, so…” He trailed off, leaving whatever his implication was supposed to be hanging, and Tony turned his head enough to give Rhodey a truly epic eye roll.

“Alright,” he sighed, not even pretending that he wasn’t completely put out by the idea. Rhodey winked back at him, and the pinched look around Obie’s lip tightened.

“I trust you can occupy yourself for a few minutes,” he added, giving Rhodey a pointed eyebrow raise.

Rhodey gave Obie a bland look in return. “Yup. I’ll manage,” he drawled, barely getting the words out before Obie was dragging Tony away. Tony shot him a pained look over his shoulder and Rhodey offered a commiserating eye roll.

These events were always truly boring when Tony wasn’t around to occupy his attention. Rhodey polished off his own dessert and then finished the last few bites of Tony’s just for good measure -- he could consider it payment in kind for the entire night. Then, when the rest of their table had cleared out, he grabbed a drink and made the rounds, chatting with the few SI employees that he knew, getting hauled into conversations with a few people that he didn’t. He’d fended off no less than three horny old ladies (they were always a sucker for the military dress uniform) when he decided it had probably been long enough that he could rescue Tony again.

He found him sitting at an empty table, nursing a half full glass of scotch and looking absolutely drained. Rhodey sighed briefly and then moved over to join him, taking the seat beside Tony and nudging his foot against his ankle. “You alright?”

Tony looked up quickly, giving him a smile that was just a little too bright. “Yeah, yeah, I’m good. Just… You know…”

He didn’t have to specify what, but Rhodey nodded anyway. Then he pried the glass out of Tony’s hand, setting it on the table, and tangled their fingers instead. “Come on,” he said, standing up.

Tony resisted him a little just because, leaning back in his seat and arching an eyebrow up at Rhodey. “Where are we going?”

Rhodey winked at him. “Come on, now. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t ask you for at least one dance, huh?”

Tony smiled all soft and sweet, like he could hide how happy that made him. “Yeah, alright,” he agreed, slowly getting to his feet with his hand still tangled in Rhodey’s. “Let’s dance.”

There was a brief moment of confusion when they landed on the dance floor, and Tony, who had apparently never been led before (which was something of a tragedy, if you asked Rhodey) wasn’t quite sure what to do with his hands. But Tony wasn’t the only one who could dance, thank you very much, so Rhodey got him settled and led him over the dance floor in a fast-paced waltz. Their form was terrible, Rhodey was pretty sure, but he didn’t particularly care when Tony was beaming, giggling into his shoulder when they nearly took out an older couple on their way by.

They made it through two and a half songs before the music shifted into something slower and softer. Tony tensed for a bare second, but Rhodey didn’t let him go, just tightened his arm around Tony’s waist, and a beat later he was sinking into it, relaxing in Rhodey’s arms.

“Thank you for this,” Tony said softly, eyes somewhere around Rhodey’s collarbone. “This is… This is nice.”

Rhodey just hummed and pulled Tony in a little closer. “Yeah,” he agreed, something warm and familiar settling in his stomach. “Yeah, it is.”

There was another beat and then Tony shifted and leaned in, resting his cheek against Rhodey’s shoulder as the two of them swayed slowly to the beat of the music. The warm feeling in Rhodey’s stomach grew, something familiar and comfortable settling deep inside him. Tony sighed softly, breath fluttering against the base of Rhodey’s neck, and Rhodey felt his heart stop.

Oh shit. He was in love with his best friend.

Tony must have felt him tense slightly because he pulled back to look up at him. “This alright?” he asked quietly, and there was something in his eyes, something nervous and wanting.

Just like that Rhodey felt his heart start up again, comfortable and easy and exactly how everything was supposed to me. “Yeah,” he said, pulling Tony in closer still until they were pressed chest to chest. “This is just fine.”

***

The rest of the night passed in a blur of drinking and dancing and schmoozing and more drinking, and every time Rhodey looked over at Tony he could feel his smile growing wider. Now that he’d realized, it seemed so obvious; of course he was in love with Tony. He had been for years. He’d always known he’d felt different about Tony, that he was special. He just hadn’t been able to put a finger on exactly how before. And now that he had, everything felt right.

And he was pretty sure that he wasn’t alone in his feelings. He knew what Tony looked like with a crush, the little smiles, the nervous giggles, the way he got so sweet. Rhodey had just never expected to see those signs directed at him, so he figured he could be forgiven for missing them until now. But now that he had seen it, he was going to take full advantage.

When the night was over the two of them slipped outside, arms wrapped around each other. Rhodey hadn’t realized just how drunk he was until he hit the fresh air, stumbling a little down the steps, and he let Tony pour him into the car they were sharing home. There was no actual reason for them to go back to the same place so Happy would drop Rhodey off at his apartment first, and he couldn’t help being a little disappointed about that. He thought about suggesting that they both go back to Tony’s place anyway, in case Obie decided to check up on them maybe, but coming up with a valid reason felt like too much effort. Instead he looked over at Tony and grinned wide.

“What?” Tony asked, laughing a little at Rhodey’s expression. Clearly he hadn’t drunk as much as him, or at least he was handling it better if he had.

Rhodey just shook his head. “I’m gonna date you so hard,” he declared.

***

When Rhodey woke up the next morning, it was with a wicked hangover. But after a hot shower, greasy food, and a few hours of mindless television, he had a plan. Really, Tony had given him the perfect opening with all this fake boyfriend stuff. Rhodey just had to… Take it up a notch or two.

So once he was feeling a little more human again, he called Tony. It took a few rings for him to pick up, and when he finally did there was loud music blaring in the background that had Rhodey smiling.

“Hey baby,” he drawled into the receiver, grinning when that got a snort out of Tony.

“Obie’s not tapping the phones,” he told him. “You don’t have to keep playing boyfriend when he’s not around.”

“Well see, there’s the thing,” Rhodey told him. “I figure we can’t ‘break up’ right away, otherwise Obie’s gonna know the whole thing was a fake and then what would the point have even been, right?”

“Okay…”

“Okay,” Rhodey agreed. “And I should probably go to a few more events with you too. Now that he knows, he’s gonna be even more suspicious if I just keep leaving you to attend things solo, right?”

“I guess,” Tony agreed, sounding more confused than anything.

“Exactly,” Rhodey told him. “So I was thinking, if we’re gonna pull off something a little more long term, especially now that he’ll be over the surprise of it, we should probably get together and practice.”

“Practice,” Tony repeated, sounding even more confused. “You want to practice being my boyfriend?”

“Well, you know…” Rhodey hedged, because yes, that was exactly what he wanted, but he didn’t want to give all his cards away here. “Figure out pet names, and who sleeps on what side of the bed. Stuff like that.”

“Are you still drunk?” Tony’s confusion had given way to amusement. “You think Obie’s gonna ask what side of the bed we sleep on?”

“Well, no,” Rhodey admitted. “But somebody else might, and he could overhear it. We should just be prepared, is all.”

Tony hummed on the other end of the line. “You know, if you wanted to hang out and have me buy your pizza, you just had to say so.”

“You’re an asshole, Tones. I’m helping you, remember.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say.” There was a faint clatter from somewhere across the room, and Tony huffed out a laugh, low and warm. “I’ll be in the lab, come over whenever.”

***

Rhodey showed up at Tony’s place a couple hours later, wielding the t-shirt that hugged his biceps just right and a bouquet of flowers. The doors opened for him automatically, but when he made his way down to the lab Tony was distracted by whatever he was working on and didn’t even hear him come in. Rhodey leaned against a table and waited, and when Tony showed no signs of even looking up, he finally cleared his throat.

“So are we gonna hang out, or should I go away and give you and your screwdriver some alone time?”

Tony turned then, a grin on his face, but whatever response he’d been going to give died as he took in the flowers in Rhodey’s hand. “Uhh…” He arched an eyebrow and met Rhodey’s eyes. “Did you bring me flowers?”

Rhodey shrugged lazily, holding the bouquet out towards him. “I told you. Practice.”

Tony blinked at him, a pleased little smile playing over his lips. “You’re weird,” he said, but he took the flowers and held them up to his nose, inhaling deeply even though they were just grocery store daisies and didn’t have much of a scent at all.

Rhodey shrugged, and gave him that slow, easy grin that was his go-to pick up move (and that he’d practiced in the mirror before, not that he’d admit it). He held eye contact until Tony blinked away first, clearing his throat and squirming a little at the attention -- a definite good squirm.

“Um, thanks,” Tony told him. “I’m gonna…” He trailed off, waggling the flowers a little, and headed for the stairs. “You thirsty? Hungry?”

“I could eat,” Rhodey admitted.

Tony nodded as he headed up the stairs, not waiting to see if Rhodey was following. “Wanna order in?”

“Obviously,” Rhodey teased. “I’ve seen your kitchen. Pretty sure there’s been nothing edible in there for weeks.”

“Wow, rude.” Tony’s protest was half-hearted and he shot a grin at Rhodey over his shoulder. “But probably not wrong. I should hire a life coach, or an assistant maybe.”

“I thought that was JARVIS’s job.”

“Alas,” JARVIS sighed. “I can only order the food, I have not yet developed the ability to get Sir to eat it.”

“Okay,” Tony protested. “Now you’re both ganging up on me? So rude.”

Since he didn’t want to freak Tony out, Rhodey dialed it back down once they were in the kitchen, and Tony had tracked down a crystal pitcher that probably cost more than Rhodey’s rent to shove his grocery store flowers into. They bickered good-naturedly over the food like always, finally settling on Thai, and then Tony showed him the latest mods to his current favourite car while they waited for the food to arrive. Tony tipped the delivery guy an amount that took generous to a whole other level (something Obie constantly gave him shit for, but Rhodey happened to love about him) and then they settled in front of the enormous television to bicker some more over what movie they were going to watch. A normal, perfect evening.

He waited until they were both full and satisfied, the half full containers of leftovers littering the coffee table in front of them, and Tony was fully absorbed in the movie they’d finally settled on (Ghostbusters, again). Then, as subtly as he could manage and feeling a little like he was fourteen, Rhodey sank back into the overstuffed cushions and then stretched his arm out to hook over Tony’s shoulder.

There was a beat, and while Tony didn’t quite tense up, he did go still. “Um.”

When Rhodey chanced a glance over at Tony, he was looking back at him. His lips were pressed together, but he looked amused again.

“Whatcha doin?”

Rhodey shrugged, and since Tony wasn’t giving any indication of being uncomfortable, he tightened his arm slightly, pulling him in against him a little. “Practice.”

There was another beat and then Tony seemed to shrug as well, settling more comfortably against him, head pillowed against Rhodey’s shoulder as he went back to the movie.

***

“H’lo?”

Rhodey’s voice was slurred as he answered the phone, squinting at his alarm clock. It took a minute for his blurry eyes to reconcile the display into actual numbers: 4:38 am.

“It’s me.”

Tony’s voice sounded off slightly, softer, and Rhodey blinked a few times, trying to force himself into wakefulness. “Tones? You okay?”

“Yeah!” Tony answered quickly, laughing a little. “Yeah, I’m fine. Promise.”

Rhodey looked over at the clock again, suspicious now. “You just going to bed?”

“Maybe?” Tony laughed again, and Rhodey could hear the genuine smile in his voice. “Sorry, I should have waited to call, I know. I just… I had to ask you a favour, and it’s really late notice already so even though it’ll probably be no, I thought if I don’t ask now then it’ll really be too late. And I meant to ask you before, I just… Didn’t.”

“Tones.” Rhodey was laughing as he interrupted, rubbing at his eyes. “What is it?”

“I, um… There’s another event tonight. Some charity something or other that I have to go to, and Obie’s been making comments about you, I don’t know if he really totally believes me, so uh…” There was a strange note in Tony’s voice, one that Rhodey was too tired to decipher. “I don’t suppose you want to come with me?”

Rhodey grinned up at the ceiling, letting his eyes fall shut. “Yeah,” he hummed. “Course I’ll be your date tonight.”

***

What with their conflicting, hectic schedules, Rhodey hadn’t actually seen Tony since the day after the gala, almost two weeks ago now. It was always good to see him when they’d been apart for awhile, but this time was even better, Rhodey taking an extra minute to take in the cut of Tony’s suit, the perfect way it fit when he showed up to pick him up.

“You look good, man,” he told him.

Tony rolled his eyes a little at the compliment, but when they got into the car, Rhodey could see the reflection of his pleased smile in the windshield.

The gala could have been a repeat of the one before, the same people, the same food, the same tasteful, boring decorating scheme. This time, however, Obie was near the door when they came in, excused himself with a slight frown to meet them.

“Tony,” he said in lieu of an actual greeting, looking him over with a critical assessing eye that made Rhodey want to tell Tony again just how good he looked -- doubly so when he noted the tiny little self-conscious ankle twist that Tony let slip under his godfather’s inspection. “Jim,” he added when Tony had apparently passed muster, turning to him with an arched eyebrow. “Tony didn’t tell me you were joining him tonight.”

“Yes I did,” Tony grumbled mutinously, making Rhodey grin.

They made it through the obligatory Obie small talk without Rhodey punching anything, and once he’d gone off to schmooze some more rich people, Rhodey elbowed Tony in the side. “I thought you said Obie was asking questions,” he teased. “I thought that was why you wanted me to be your date tonight.”

“Shut up,” Tony grumbled, and Rhodey thought he could see a flush trailing up the back of his neck. “Come on, I’ll buy you a drink. Since you’re so hung up on being my date.”

“It’s an open bar,” Rhodey huffed as he followed him, not caring that it was a repeat of Tony’s joke from the last time. “The drinks are free!”

Tony grinned at him over his shoulder. “Guess that makes you a cheap date then, huh?”

Rhodey managed to talk Tony into three slow dances this time, holding him close because he had to sell it, obviously. The flutter of Tony’s breath on his neck sent shivers through him every time, and by the end of the third dance, Rhodey was feeling a little drunk from it. Tony seemed more comfortable this time too, laughing and smiling at Rhodey more than usual, fluttering his eyelashes and playing up the boyfriend aspect, and the weight of all his attention and affection left Rhodey reeling.

They had both drunk enough that, when the night started to wind down, Rhodey convinced Tony not to drive home. It was hot, the two of them flushed from dancing and drinking, and they headed outside to wait for the car he’d called. The air wasn’t much cooler outside, but it was a rare, misty night, and Tony turned his face up to the rain, eyes closed and a faint smile on his face at the refreshing sensation. Rhodey watched him, and wanted so badly to kiss him that he could almost taste it. He hadn’t yet, and while he probably could have pulled it off as part of the whole fake boyfriend thing, that felt like cheating somehow. He wanted Tony to kiss him, not some fake ruse version of himself.

“Um…” Tony had looked back over at him, and Rhodey realized he had been caught staring. “You doing okay there, honeybear?”

“Yeah.” Rhodey grinned at him, aware that his face was doing something a little dopey but not particularly caring. “Just tired.”

“Well let’s get you to bed then, huh?” Tony asked before giggling as the innuendo caught up to him. “I mean home. To your bed. I mean…” He cut himself with a snort. “You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” Rhodey agreed easily.

Tony beamed at him and then nudged his arm. “Come on,” he said, wrapping a hand around Rhodey’s wrist almost without noticing. “That’s our car.”

Rhodey grinned at the touch, even if he couldn’t help regretting that the night was over. “Hey Tony?” he asked as the two of them slid into the backseat of the car. “Want to grab lunch tomorrow?”

***

Tomorrow ended up being three days later, because the both of them were entirely too busy, but that was nothing new. Tony was already waiting when Rhodey got there, doodling equations on a napkin, and he grinned at the sight of him.

“Whatcha working on?” he asked, dropping into the seat opposite him. “Saving the world?”

“Something like that.” Tony winked at him and then nodded as a server came out from the kitchen, balancing a tray laden down with burgers and beer. “Sorry,” he said, not sounding it at all. “I was starving and didn’t want to wait for you to get here, so I ordered for you.”

“So impatient,” Rhodey teased, kicking his ankle under the table.

“Hey! It seemed nicer than making you sit there and watch me eat.” Tony stuck his tongue out at him as their plates were unloaded, immediately digging headfirst into his fries. Rhodey snorted as he reached for his own burger, grinning when he found it onion-free with extra pickles, just the way he liked it.

“Thanks, man.”

The food was delicious, and Rhodey hadn’t realized just how hungry he was until he was digging in. Tony had ordered a massive amount of fries for both of them, but Rhodey couldn’t resist stealing some of Tony’s anyway. Of course then Tony had to retaliate by stealing Rhodey’s entire beer (before immediately ordering him another one).

When they’d finished the majority of their food, they settled into talking and picking at their leftover fries. Neither of them was quite ready to leave yet, pretending they were still eating so they’d have an excuse to keep talking. Tony was in the middle of describing an idea he’d had to make cell phones better, eyes all wide and bright the way they got when he was really excited about something, and Rhodey couldn’t resist reaching across the table, curling his hands over Tony’s where it was resting against the laminate. Tony stuttered a little over his explanation, coming to a stop as he looked up at Rhodey with a small smile.

“Practice?”

Rhodey nodded, beaming at him. “Practice,” he agreed, feeling Tony’s hand squeeze briefly against his.

***

They kept on like this, and although Tony didn’t make any moves himself, he didn’t seem to mind Rhodey moving on him, and Rhodey was pretty sure he was making progress. He seemed to expect the hand holding now, looked forward to it, even. He didn’t question Rhodey about it anymore, would just teasingly ask, “practice?” as their fingers twined together. The last time they’d been out for dinner, Tony’s hand had settled palm up on the table without him even seeming to realize, waiting for Rhodey to take it.

They cuddled all the time now too, and while Tony had always been touchy feely, this felt like more. As soon as they had a chance to sit down together for more than a few minutes, Rhodey would wrap an arm around Tony’s shoulder and immediately he’d settle in against him with a soft little sigh like this was exactly where he belonged. It never failed to set something pleasant thrumming through every inch of Rhodey’s body.

And while Tony had never been shy with the pet names, Rhodey had started adding his own. Nothing over the top, just slipping a ‘baby’ or a ‘sweetheart’ into conversation here or there. The first time he’d done it, not as a joke but as easy and natural as he said Tony’s name, Tony had actually stammered over whatever he’d been saying, an adorable flush colouring his cheeks before he regained his train of thought. He’d looked so ridiculously kissable in that moment that it was all Rhodey could do to stop himself.

Progress.

***

Rhodey slung an arm around Tony’s waist as they headed into yet another charity event. This one was more lowkey than normal, which Rhodey definitely wasn’t complaining about. Tony looked amazing in his jeans-and-leather-jacket combo, and Rhodey had never been happier to ‘pretend’ to be dating because there was now way he was going to be able to tear his eyes off Tony’s ass.

They made it through a round of drinks before Rhodey realized something was missing, eyes narrowing slightly as he scanned the other attendants. “Hey Tones?”

“Mmm?”

“Where’s Obie? Don’t you usually want to get that over with first thing?”

“Oh, uh…” Tony looked away quickly, acting like he was also scanning the room, but Rhodey knew him well enough to tell when he was faking it to avoid eye contact. “He must be running late.”

“Late,” Rhodey repeated dryly, not believing a word of it. “That’s more your scene, last I checked. In fact, I’ve never known Obidiah Stane to be more than a second late in his life. He’s a stickler for it, it’s kinda his whole deal.”

“Oh well, you know.” Tony shrugged, still not quite meeting Rhodey’s eyes, but there was a hint of a sheepish smile curling over his lips. “Things happen, traffic in LA, freak storms… There’s a first time for everything, right?”

Rhodey snorted. “Is he even coming?”

“Uh, you know…” Tony scratched at the back of his neck, and now there was a definite smile on his lips. “Maybe I got this event confused with another one?”

“I don’t believe it!” Rhodey crowed.

“Oh my god.”

“Oh no, don’t you ‘oh my god’ me. I specifically remember you telling me that Obie insisted that I come tonight. Obie’s not even here, Tony.” He gave him his best grin then. “You know, if you wanted a date, all you had to do was ask.”

Tony rolled his eyes, but he was grinning a little stupidly like he couldn’t help himself. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he insisted before curling his hand around Rhodey’s forearm and tugging. “Come on, Rhodes, dance with me.”

“Ohhh,” Rhodey teased, although he was already moving toward the dance floor, his arm back around Tony’s waist. “So now you want a dance.”

“People will talk,” Tony offered lamely, still fighting back a smile. “Wonder what kind of asshole I’m dating if he won’t even give me a dance.”

“Oh right, of course.” Despite his teasing, Rhodey didn’t hesitate to wrap his arm around Tony, drawing him close for a dance. This time Tony didn’t even pause, drawing in just as close until they were pressed chest to chest, Tony’s breath hot on his neck. Rhodey adjusted his hold, shifting them until his lips were almost pressed against Tony’s ear. “Well,” he offered, voice pitched low and smooth. “If Obie’s not even here, you wanna slip out early? Go back to my place, maybe, watch a movie?”

Tony shivered as Rhodey’s breath tickled his ear. “Yeah,” he agreed, sounding out of breath. “Yeah, let’s do that.”

***

Tony was uncharacteristically quiet in the car, peering out the window and lost in thought. He didn’t seem upset though, and when Rhodey finally caught his gaze in the window reflection, he gave him a bright smile. A beat later he slid a little closer on the bench seat, even though the cab driver hadn’t even recognized Tony and certainly wouldn’t have cared if they were supposed to be dating or not.

The stillness went away as soon as they stepped through the door of Rhodey’s apartment, his typical manic energy coming back tenfold. He threw himself down on the couch like he belonged there before immediately getting up again. He went to peruse Rhodey’s movie shelf about five different times, every time getting distracted by nothing, opening cupboards and drawers and wandering away without closing them again and while rambling on about nothing the entire time. Rhodey watched him in amusement for a few minutes before coming over as he moved to open yet another drawer, curling his hands over Tony’s and holding them still.

“You good, man?”

Tony went silent, staring at him for a long minute, and then nodded slowly. “Yeah,” he said before blinking and turning abruptly toward the kitchen. “I’m hungry,” he announced. “Are you hungry? I want cupcakes. Chocolate cupcakes. Do you think there’s somewhere around here that will deliver chocolate cupcakes? Who has the best chocolate cupcakes in LA?”

Rhodey snorted and shook his head. “Pretty sure all the bakeries are closed by now, but I’ve got some Duncan Hines cake mix in my cupboard somewhere. Will that do?”

Tony grinned at him, a little sheepish. “Yeah,” he agreed. “That sounds good.”

The cake mix, it turned out, was easy to find, right next to the muffin tins. The electric beater his mother had gifted him, however, was a whole other story. Rhodey set Tony to work measuring out the additional ingredients while he went rooting through the cupboard under his sink, finally emerging with dust in his hair and a triumphant, ‘ah-ha!’

Tony huffed out a laugh at the sight of him, his smile fond. He’d pulled off his suit jacket, leaving it draped haphazardly over a kitchen chair, and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. Rhodey got distracted for a moment, staring at the muscles in his forearms, and then shook himself out of it, nudging Tony away from the mixing bowl with his hip.

“Move over, hot stuff. Time to let the master work.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “It’s cake mix, it’s pretty hard to fuck it up. You’re not special,” he grumbled. He was grinning though and hopped up on the counter, kicking his legs against the cupboards beneath him while Rhodey mixed and then poured out the batter.

With the muffin tins safely in the oven Rhodey stepped back over, giving Tony a kick of his own before he lost his security deposit. “Knock it off,” he told him, unfastening the beaters from the mixer and extending one to Tony. “Want one?”

“Fuck yeah!” Tony beamed, making grabby hands. “Pass it over, honeybear.”

Rhodey did as requested, stepping closer so the batter didn’t drip on the floor, and Tony took it with a contented little noise. Rhodey laughed at him, and then almost immediately forgot about his own beater as Tony started licking at the chocolate, head tilting to get just the right angle, tongue wiggling between the metal spokes. Rhodey had not thought this through.

He didn’t know if he’d made a noise or what, but then Tony’s eyes flicked up to meet his. He lowered the beater slowly, eyes locked with Rhodey’s. Without quite meaning to, Rhodey took a step closer, heard Tony’s soft inhale in response, his tongue running self consciously over his lower lip. There was a fleck of chocolate there, and it took everything Rhodey had not to lick it off for him. He wanted to kiss him so badly, but something inside him stopped. He needed Tony to be the one to make that final move, needed to know that they were on the same page here, that Tony wanted this too, wasn’t just playing along with the world’s worst joke.

And for a minute he thought Tony actually might. His lips parted on a soft exhale, upper body leaning in that much closer, this look on his face, like he wanted to just as bad as Rhodey. And he may have been the dumbest genius Rhodey had ever met, but he wasn’t this dumb. He had to know what was going on, that this was real.

But then, abruptly, he was tilting his head away, sliding off the counter to pull back entirely and head across the kitchen.

“I, um… I should go,” he said, not quite meeting Rhodey’s eyes. “Early day tomorrow.”

Rhodey arched an eyebrow at him, felt his heart sink. “The cupcakes aren’t even done! I thought you wanted cupcakes?”

Tony gave him a pained smile. “Maybe next time,” he said, grabbing his suit jacket. “See you later.”

He was gone a second later and Rhodey sighed, then thumped his head against the counter for good measure. Clearly, impossibly (although nothing was impossible when it came to Tony, he should have known that by now) Tony had missed every sign that Rhodey was serious about this. Which left the one thing he should have just done in the first place.

Using his words.

***

Rhodey was more than familiar with Tony’s tendency to dwell, so first thing the next morning he headed over to his place. It was early enough that the sun was barely up, fog rolling over the water below the house, but he wasn’t surprised when JARVIS directed him down to the workshop.

Tony had clearly been working all night, his jacket abandoned just inside the door, and Rhodey winced as he stopped beside it, waiting for Tony to acknowledge him. His back was to the door, but he clearly knew Rhodey was there, body tense as he hammered away at something on the work table. He’d changed into sweatpants, but was still wearing his dress shirt from the night before, untucked and sleeves rolled up with a large grease stain above his right elbow.

When a good thirty seconds had passed and Tony still hadn’t said anything, Rhodey sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face. “Look man, I’m sorry. I thought… Well, I wasn’t thinking, obviously. But I’ll knock it off. I was never trying to make you uncomfortable, Tones, I promise.”

Tony cursed under his breath as he missed, hammering the table instead, but then he put the hammer down, finally turning to face Rhodey. He looked absolutely destroyed, dark bags under his eyes, but he offered Rhodey a wan smile.

“Well.” He shrugged one shoulder. “We can’t split up now. The bots have accepted you as their mother. U will be devastated.”

He was playing it off as a joke, but Rhodey knew Tony. He could see the fear in his eyes, the worry that he might lose Rhodey completely, but even more than that, a bit of hope in his smile. Drawing in a deep breath, Rhodey crossed the room.

“Okay, no more faking it,” he told him. “I like you, Tony. I mean, you’re my best friend in the entire world, but also, I like you.”

Tony snorted at that, but he ducked his head and when he looked up at Rhodey again his smile was shy and pleased. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Rhodey confirmed. “A lot. I kinda think about it all the time.”

Tony was flat out beaming now. “So all the cuddling, and the hand holding, and the ‘practicing’?”

“It was practice. It was… Practice for what I really wanted. And I probably should have said something when I first realized, but I’m saying it now. I really like you, Tony, and I want to be with you, and I don’t think I’m crazy in thinking that you might feel kind of the same--,”

Tony shook his head quickly, eyes wide. “No. No, I do.”

Rhodey grinned. “Great. And I think we could really be something great. So, you know…” He took Tony’s hands in his, meeting his eyes so there could be no confusion. “Tony, go out with me, so we don’t have to break up.”

Tony burst out laughing at that, bright and open and happy and Rhodey couldn’t help laughing with him. “Yeah,” he agreed after a minute, hand squeezing over Rhodey’s. “Yeah, that sounds pretty perfect.”

“Great,” Rhodey agreed. And then, because he’d been waiting for what felt like years, he used his grip on Tony’s hand to tug him in close, until they were pressed chest to chest. Tony yelped at the sudden movement, staring up at him with wide eyes, and while he was still caught off guard Rhodey leaned in, pressing their lips together. Tony made a startled noise, like somehow after all these he still hadn’t expected kissing. But it only took him a second to recover and then he was kissing Rhodey back, hands wrapping tight around Rhodey’s back as he parted his lips, tongues sliding together.

They kissed until Rhodey thought he might actually pass out and pulled back, panting for air. Tony leaned back against the table and blinked up at him, a dazed smile on his face. “Wow,” he breathed. “That was… Wow.” He grinned wide when Rhodey just snorted at him and settled his hands on Rhodey’s hips, holding him close. “Hey, you know what I think we should do?”

“What’s that?”

Tony’s grin grew impossibly wider. “Practice.”

@ironhusbandsbingo @tonystarkbingo

#tonystarkbingomarkv #tsbmv #ironhusbandsbingo #ironhsubands #tony stark #james 'rhodey' rhodes #fake dating #mutual pining #friends to lovers #pre-iron man 1 #fic #my fic

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ennui-gt · 3 years

Text

Here it is. A Piece Of Borrower Content Written Entirely In Stream Of Consciousness:

AN: so this is incomplete and very…needs revisions to the timeline to incorporate some things I added later! It’s the original universe that Mira’s from! I edited it like Slightly to just change Ross’s name to Ross (if u see Max anywhere that’s his old one I just felt like changing it so that’s just him but different. Anyway) Everything's under the readmore tab, cheers!

The Library Fairy:

Basic Plot (Chrono, comic starts from human perspective abt the ‘legend of the library fairy’ ig maybe. Nothing here is permanent cept the characterization)

Part A

1- Mira is borrower currently chillin in a college library

2- She lives off of the cafe on the second floor nd reads lots and lots of stuff about everything when the upper floors close (lower floor open 24/7 but upper floors r vacant p much after 12:00 AM)

3- she starts getting increasingly curious about human stuff cos she’s literate nd books r pry neat

4- it starts one night when she spots an unattended notebook and a half eaten blueberry muffin, nd it’s 12:30 so nobody’s coming back in atm (it’s the 80s so no laptops for the plebians quite yet)

5- so she goes ‘welp’ nd takes part of the muffin, then sees the work on the page and goes ‘hmmmm this is incorrect’ so she helps our and leaves notes here n there to point the kid in the right direction and puts down some book refs for further study bcos at this point she’s been there for 2 years and she knows where most things are

6- she stays behind to see if the human comes back for it, hidden in a hidey hole near the desk

7- human comes in, sees notebook, practically melts w relief nd stuffs it in his bag

8- next day human comes back nd leaves nother notebook and a cookie, along w a hidden camera

9- Mira goes ‘o boy, this a trap, innit’

10- Mira then decides ‘eh whatever I haven’t had contact w anyone in years now so I might as well’

11- she steals the camera film nd leaves a lil scrap of paper saying ‘nice try ;)’ on it

12- student comes back, sees paper, goes ‘dammit’, then leaves note addressed to the ‘library fairy’ and another cookie, as well as more of their work for her to help with

13- bout a decade goes by and now the “Library Fairy” is an urban myth, it’s currently 2003 so she’s also wound up on the school’s unofficial Wikipedia page under ‘local cryptids’

14- most library employees know of her but they don’t go looking out of fear stemming from superstitions bout her, somehow the legend grew from ‘can’t be photographed’ to ‘a student once saw her and died that day’

15- there’s now a small shrine devoted to her where ppl bring offerings hoping to get good grades in return, sometimes they will leave papers for her to proofread nd stuff

16- new prof (named Alexei) finds online article thinks he Knows What’s Up bcos he had a borrower friend as a kid, but they left when borrower’s fam found out about them knowing each other

17- he leaves note wedged in one of her secret entrances behind outlet, asking if she can meet w him at some point

18- Mira, already In it, goes ‘Okay. Alright. This has gone on for long enough. Time to go and never return’ but ofc she’s curious as all hell and like she decides she will at least honor the guy’s request for a convo b4 she goes, but on her terms and w/o speaking face 2 face

19- they Talk in the library after hours, bcos he paid off the janitor to let him stay after hours nd most of the student employees recognize him as a prof nd leave him alone

20- they talk again for every subsequent night

21- she uhhhh finally decides to reveal herself nd prays that her hunch was right nd he won’t try to grab her or anything

22- he doesn’t but she’s nervous so she winds up gettin caught in her own climbing rope like idiot, is now dangling from ceiling in tangled mess

23- he stifles chuckle nd she says smthn sarcastic

24- he moves closer and offers to untangle her

25- she’s like ‘please’

26- so he do, but her grip on the rope slips nd he has to catch her

26- so now she’s in his hand and he just sets her down and now he’s a bumbling embarrassed mess bcos he said he wasn’t going to hold her and he just did and o dear pls forgib him

28- nd she’s like ‘dude u just saved my life it’s fine ur fine chill’

29- internally she’s going HOLY FUCK AAAAAAA but externally, her human’s already worked up enough as it is so she’s gotta b the level headed one

29.5- after a while they both kinda get used to each other more, he gets tenure, they celebrate, some more stuff happens, Aleksei got married (not to Mira, Mira hasn’t actually rly thought about being in a relationship w anyone cos she’s laser focused on gaining as much knowledge as possible)

30- eventually Alexei’s like ‘hey so I’m dean of faculty for the biotech branch now uhhhh would u like actual job teaching students? Cos, uh, you can do it remotely thru online lectures n stuff, no in person interaction, and I uh was just kinda wondering—‘

31- she’s like ‘yes. Yes!!! LET ME HELP PEOPLE OFFICIALLY KINDA’

32- so now she’s a professor, and has revealed her Secret a few times here n there to a number of the faculty, nd she has recorded her own findings in a personal journal

33- ‘humans will treat u like a human if they think ur human first. The kids call it ‘catfishing’’

34- enter Ross, an mall goth who accidentally tripped headfirst into a premed program

35- Mira’s favorite field of study is bio so naturally she’s his prof for a majority of his classes

36- being the good boy that he is, he now knows Mira’s secret. There is an Entire Chapter on him finding out and legit just continuing their conversation as if everything was normal bcos he thought that was how he was supposed to handle the situation

37- then she says ‘u can ask questions, u know’ he’s like OH THANK FUCK CAUSE I HAVE SEVEN HUNDRED OF THOSE

38- and now he kinda knows what to look for in terms of ‘do borrowers live here check yes or no’

39-in his apartment, the answer is yes and he mistakenly kinda stumbles upon the mom one night when he wakes up in the middle of the night for Snack and opts to pretend like its not happening. Unfortunately the thing she was trying 2 borrow (piece of crumb cake for Son Boy’s birthday) is the thing he wants 2 eat so he’s like “uh. ‘Scuse me, ma’am.” and he peels back the saran wrap on the other side of the plate, takes piece, nd then leaves some there for her

40-so now the woman is like ‘welp guess it time 2 Leave’

.1- she and husband Talk

.2-they decide it best 2 go

.3-theyre Packing

.4-lil bab Ellie confused

.5-hawk attacke

.6-cut to Ross

41- Ross also happens to work at a bar and he goes outside for a break

43- he finds smal child—smol smal—on the sidewalk and said child is missing an arm, nd has lost a lot of blood, so he’s uhhhhh Losing It highkey

43.5-parents r nowhere 2 b seen, but the hawk is nearby and circling. Ross gets an idea of what just happened

44- he up and leaves work, thankfully his apartment is above the shop so he jumps up the fire escape w the child and

45- he make tourniquet

46- he calls Mira nd asks her 2 come over to ASAP. he’s A Mess at this point

47- it is Very touch and go, kid needs blood, Mira is the only viable donor so she’s just gotta pray that the blood type is fine and won’t kill him

48- and then eventually they manage 2 stave infection thru antibiotics properly dosed to his size, Mira does Math and Prays basically

49- ‘bout a month in, kid wakes up

50- kid doesn’t rember much since he’s only 3

51- hes v scared of Ross at first but over time he gets used 2 the human

52- kid (elliot) starts 2 call Ross ‘dad’ after a while

53- Ross: *internal screaming but in a good way*

54- the end kinda for now

Part 2

A- New Borrowers In The Building

—three of em. paranoid dad, mom, nd daughter that’s Elliot’s age so he’s pumped

B- Elliot offers them a place 2 stay briefly

C- he knows by now bout like, how borrowers don’t typically interact w humans and Auntie Mira’s a bit of a weird case so he just doesn’t tell em bout his dad being the human

D- the kid finds out first nd doesn’t tell the parents, but they figure it out later kinda and think that it’s a ‘o god he’s being kept as a pet’ sitch so they’re >:| abt it

E- they move out and try to take Elliot w them (by force bcos they think he’s brainwashed) but he escapes and makes it to Ross, who’s like “uhhhhhh”

F- and the mom come out the hole near the counter n starts yelling at Ross, who is…kinda used to it since Mira brings in ppl who need help from time 2 time and they typically don’t react well when they’re lucid enough to understand what’s going on. He’s just not used to being questioned about his own kid

G- so they’re like “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING WITH HIM”

H- and he’s like “r…raising him???”

I- and Ellie steps up and he’s like “this is my dad. I decided he was my dad when I was three. He’s being a good parent”

J- and Ross is like “yeah what he said. I’m a good parent.”

K- Ross is riding that high til the end of fucking time but like back to the story at hand

L- this is when the husband comes out nd is like “lissen. wifey. ily but that is a very big human and he hasn’t grabbed us yet so let’s count our blessings and gtfo”

M- but she’s like “uh no we stay until I’m sure Elliot is Safe and fucking Sound”

N- so they stay for dinner nd stick around a little longer.

O- Val (the kid) gets closer 2 Elliot and also Ross a bit

P- Mira shows once or twice, first time she shows up they’re like “oh god it’s the crazy doctor lady this all makes sense now” (bcos Mira does check up on as many borrower families as possible in her free time so word has got around by now Of her, and the number by which to contact her in case her services r needed)

Q- After a month or so, then they decide to leave bcos they’re like “look we get that ur son is ur son and he only has one arm and in our profession that is kind of a death sentence but we can’t have our kid getting used to dealing w humans who know about our existence” so they go and leave on a kind of sour note bcos Ellie can do anything he wants to do just as well as any other borrower Thank You Very Much and Ross is ready to fite anyone who thinks otherwise

R- Elliot starts trying 2 b more independent, basically from now on he’s like ‘I can do everything my Damn Self Thanks’

S- but uh he does it to a point where he’s going out of the way to endanger himself

T- so they get into a fite about it and ross Yells and Elliot is like ‘kthxbye’

U- and the boi just. Fuckin bolts. Runs Away. Ross is a Mess, he starts smoking again (he quit cold turkey the day he took Elliot in) to curb the depression, he’s jus. Not doin good, worried that his son is dead and the last time they talked it’d ended badly

V- FREEDOM!!!1! Except Ellie doesn’t kno how to take care of himself so it’s a rough month or so and then he runs into some other borrowers livin in their own town in the wild ig, chillin, being hella independent, and he’s like “uh yes ofc I will join u, I was w my dad for a while but.........” he neither confirms nor denies that his dad’s dead but everyone kinda just assumes.

Part 3

W-anyway a year goes by and then the borrower group gets hit hard w some kind of sickness ig. Elliot gets it too he’s basically incapacitated n drifting in and out of lucidity. So. They contact the weird crazy doctor lady who hangs around humans, a.k.a. Mira, and she’s like “oh. fuck. I know this kid.” bcos she does, u kno, and she jus treats em all for their ailment and shows them how to make antibiotic poultice thing in case smthn like it happens again. Mold. Penicillin is basically what it is

X-she and Elliot hav a Chat (Mira basically yells at him a lot) once he’s fixed up and he decides he’s gonna visit his dad but he makes it very clear that he is a Grown Up (he’s not, he’s literally sixteen), and he is living on his own now

Y- he agrees to stay for a week tho since he misses his home a lot tbh and Ross is just. Over the fucking moon to know he’s ALIVE, he’s not gonna fuck up their relationship by insisting that he stay. Or like, by keeping him ofc he would never

Z- unfortunately the borrower community put two and two together and figured out his dad’s human so they have his stuff packed up when he gets back w mira, who’s ready to go the fuck off on them

End 1:

-Ellie is living at Ross’s place atm and hopeful about the future basically. He eventually will go off on his own but he’ll keep in contact w his dad and stuff

Part C.5

55- few yrs later

56- elliot is Adult now he does adult borrower stuff

57- he moves out

58- finds nice borrower gf (her name’s Tess)

59- doesn’t tell her about his dad being human but talks about his dad a LOT

60- so when she asks to meet said father he’s just like “uh. Maybe we don’t do that actually”

61- and she’s like “y tho”

62- and he’s like “bcos”

63- anyway she decides to look into it cos she knows he goes to see his dad nd keep in touch but his dad is allegedly “a recluse who lives in the big scary human’s walls to avoid other ppl”

64- which is. Not true in the slightest tbqh he’s def not an introvert he’s just a workaholic and he Is the big scary human

65- anywho they run into Val and her wife and she’s like “how’s Ross been?” And Elliot is acting Very Suspish so she, being Smart, calls it immediately and is like “oh shit u haven’t told her yet have u”

66- Tess: “told me what”

67- Val: “El’s dad is a human, bro.”

68- Tess: “I’m sorry?”

69- this results in a Big Fight and they separate for like, a month. Elliot blames Val bcos he’s being irrational and doesn’t wanna admit to the fact that lying to his girlfriend for over a year was Real Bad Actually, but over time he’s like ‘yeah it’s my fault sry for snapping at u’ cos he works thru his emotions n stuff

70- Eventually gf comes back cos she’s like “ok so. I understand why you lied to me about your dad. It was a dick move but I do get it and I still care about you a lot. I would like. To meet him.”

80- this is a lie she does not want to meet him she is doing this bcos she does not want to lose Elliot and that outweighs the fear of his dad

81- so they go to meet him but she’s just kinda. Behind the wall at first like “that’s a crazy big human this is crazy ur crazy it’s time to gO”

82- Val is also there bcos she hasn’t seen Ross in a while

83- they eventually coax her out of hiding

84- and by that I mean Val picks her up and drags her out into the open by force bcos she basically freezes up the second she catches sight of Ross and Val’s like “u didn’t come all this way for nothing, bich”

85- they have a Painfully Awkward First Meeting, Tess is trying her best but oh god he’s just too fucking. Larg. Ellie ur dad too big

86- tbh tho the ice kinda breaks after Ellie and Ross get into a fight over smthn stupid (im thinking Elliot grumbles bout Ross’s hair being unruly and he’s worried that mira’s using it like a personal storage system again and Ross is like “I’ve been keeping better track of that actually” and then like a little line of paper clips and a few hand-bound notebooks tied together w some string fall out of his fucking mane and he’s like “I can explain”

87- “dad you can’t keep letting her use your hair like a fucking NEST”

88- Tess is laughing now cos god damn this was not what she was expecting

89- that’s it the end it ends w Tess laughing at them being idiots good times r had by all

Uhhhh that’s it so far. I have More but it’s kinda jumbled rn and I need to fit stuff in places. Anyway.

#was gonna make this into a comic lawl #if I like actually manage to get off my ass over the coming weeks I probably will be able to do that! but yeah #also this was once posted b4 and I deleted it but it’s back now say hellow #Library Fairy #oc: Mira #oc: Ross #oc: Elliot #oc: Tess #oc: Val #oc: Alexei #anyway yeah here it is behold #the uhhhhh most slice of life thing I have ever created

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phoebehalliwell · 4 years

Note

I need some kind of a photoshop lesson for this aesthetic of yours

okay i’m gonna do a tutorial real time for a picspam type aesthetic that will look like this ⇣ a photo i will put here once i make it.

step one. open ps : )

welcome : )

okay so dimensions r a thing tumblr compresses photos like hella so i do all my still img aesthetics 900x900 is you’re trying to do this for say insta i would actually recommend jumping up to 1080x1080. pixels, obviously. idk if i have to clarify that.

so click ctrl+n or create new i’ll be doing 900x900

these r the rest of my settings i personally do not think they matter my resolution stays at 72 the only thing i’ve detected this affecting is font size. (side note notice how this pic looks all fuzzy? that’s bc it’s a ss with a boatload of pixels. and if there’s one thing tumblr hates. it’s pixels. and then it’s users. but who’s counting? tumblr is. i recommend keeping ur still images 900x900♥)

step two is collecting ur images i personally use pinterest for these bc quite frankly it’s really nice & easy to find these types of photos esp if you’re looking for a canon character bc if you type in [character name] aesthetic you’ll get stuff if you don’t quite frankly even just type in aesthetic you can scroll until you find an image you like click on that and go through like images underneath it and keep burning thru. like u probably know how to work pinterest. but i am being thorough and covering my bases. searching [color] aesthetic is also nice or even searching a character that isn’t the character you’re doing this for but who’s kind of similar that also works. i recommend esp for charmed bc their pinterest gets bogged down with screencaps and then like. charms like jewelry searching “charmed aesthetic” or “phoebe halliwell aesthetic” really just doesn’t cut it so what i’d recommend is instead of going through pins, go through boards.

bc like. big difference. other pro tips if you see a board you like, go to the person’s profile and check out their other boards bc odds are you’ll find more you like. another protip if you’re specifically doing ocs typing in oc aesthetic will get you a lot even going to the boards on that as well. yields.

so. you’ve gathered ur images. u need five. open em. i’m making an aesthetic 4 myself which you’ve probably already guessed from the fact i’m putting the finished piece at the top, but it’s not ready yet so it’s still a surprise for me.

cropping. if ur doing a 900x900, use these setting exactly. 1080x1080 use 1080/2 x 1080/3. i’m not doing the math 4 u ♥

most important part? Delete Cropped Pixels. otherwise ur not really doing anything. crop all five images.

but them in ur document. document? psd? ur thing ♥ place them places. u do not have to commit now. leave one middle one blank. it does not matter which one. i personally like to alternate my text pieces if i’m doing a long post like what i did on my ncwotng set. some people keep them all on the same side. this lowkey bugs me i feel like it throws off the Balance but i imagine some people like The Consistency. i don’t. but w/e. it’s up to u as this is gonna be ur set. also like. as you’ve cropped these to x/2,x/3 settings they should fit nice like puzzle pieces : )

the next step i personally like doing is creating by text box with The Color™ do this bc simply duplicating one of ur images, shoving it in the empty slot, and converting into a sharp object. edit contents.

now. obvi i selected these images w a color scheme in mid. i recommend u do the same. even if it’s just vague. they don’t all have 2 fit. this is my example of my sheridan piece b4 or after. tweaking is possible. layers w masks r ur friend. i can talk about them more if need be.

But. back 2 the smart object. brush tool. paint it.

♥

the text i used was times new roman all caps 40pt font 0 spacing for the title and times new roman 14pt font 0 spacing italics for the subheading. here’s my dency b4 and after for comparison

next step is after you have your text in alright, shove everything into groups. mode on “normal”

then you can start editing. the groups let you edit things like lighting and color without touching any of the layers below it 👍

i’m not gonna do a Major coloring tutorial, for lighting i’ll usually tinker with exposure, levels, sometimes brightness/contrast. for colors, color balance + hue/saturation. i rarely touch anything else.

i’ll bring u along 4 the coloring of this one bc i’m gonna add a layer mask.

so the first thing i’m going to do bc the paper itself is already close to the vibe is i’m going to color it normal and just ignore the background

something like that. then i’m going to add a layer mask (square button w the plus sign)

and then i’m going to eye dropper a color off from somewhere else

now i was talking about the “normal” blend mode stops ur color settings from bleeding over onto other images? does not apply to painting on layers but you’re already masking this bad boy, so it doesn’t matter. just don’t say i didn’t warn u

i’d recommend using a really ridiculous blend mode to clean up ur thing at first, i’m using darken which isn’t that wild but like whatevs.

add a layer mask using this button.

select and mask

use this thing to clean up ur mask

okay so i did a lot since we last spoke

but if i impart any lesson to u. it’s: fuck around. find out. that’s literally how i’ve basically done everything. nothing’s ever really gone horribly wrong. click things. see what happens.

okay so now that you’ve kinda gotten everything figured out. change ur text box color again. i’m introducing u to ye ol trick that is not the paint brush. but. hue/saturation on colorize more yeah babyyyyy

ahaha yes. love this bad boy.

Now. Trick To Make Everything Super Cohesive™. put things above All of your groups.

yeah boy.

reorganize ur thing bc u don’t like how it looks.

fuck around w a lot of stuff.

it’s still cluttered.

fuck it. grab a new image.

something like that. never let the fear of striking out keep u from playing the game : )

fuck around a bit more.

vibes♥

save ur image bc u literally Have Not Done That Yet

& then remember the other thing u forgot to do

eyedropper what ur text box looks like move the whole thing to the tippity top and recolor

this is just bc u’ve fuck around a lot w a lot f different settings. this ensures that the text stays the same color u set it as.

okay final step.

turn The Whole Thing into a smart object, smart sharpen

leave out the text box tho. the sharpened text can look weird. it’s ur choice, but with these settings,, cronch.

and wallah. ctrl+shift+s save as png and bada bing bada boom baby. aesthetic

#like i cannot stress how much of this simply is. fuck around. find out.#like just have fun click on things #go ape #like there's no right or wrong way to do this #anyways i used to make these for harry potter on canva ♥ remember ur roots #tutorials #ps tutorial #aesthetic tutorial #ogwork

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selfcareparker · 3 years

Note

yesss the letter format 💝💓💘💖💞💕💖💞💓 (lovely anon)

my dearest aria (a hamilton reference lmao),

i’m home alone (bc i wanted the house alone to get my head together after my brothers were mean to me 🙃) and i’m so hype LMAO but i’m watching chloe x halle’s tiny desk concert and honestly just vibing. (this is so random) besides zendaya like they are my badass black women role models. my one accomplishment would be to learn to body roll like them LMAO

oh nevermind i can’t have anything nice, my dad just came home 🙃 WHAT A WAY TO START OFF THIS ASK WTFFF

i’m liking tfatws, the second episode was veryyy intense imo but WANDAVISION IS SO GOOD😭 i knew it was going to be my favorite from the really old trailer but it’s really good and i promise it’s not just sitcoms, girl especially cuz you’ll have all the episodes already out- we were having to wait every week😭 BUT ITS SO GOOD I PROMISE HDJSHDJSH lmao reading this i was like “i- the episodes aren’t an hour long” but i feel that, it’s hard for me to watch tfatws bc they are an hour long and i’m like 😐 but wandavision episodes are less than 30mins bc I KID YOU NOT they have the damn 10 MINUTE CREDITS DHDJSJ no i don’t think we’ve talked about this b4 lol but it all depends on the series for me. i binged love island uk in less than a week bc i was so invested and LITERALLY LOVE IT but uh those episodes are like an hour and a half, but say i was binging tfatws (it’s so hard to type that ohmigosh) i honestly would not be able to do it bc of the intensity (you may be like what intensity but if you’ve seen episode 2 by the time you’re reading this.......... isaiah and the scene afterwards is all i have to say, esp me being black it was so tough :/)

girl you’re fine, as long as you’ve experienced it once hahaha i think the reason why it’s so important to my family (this letter feels so personal and extreme HSJSJA IM SORRY) is bc my grandmother loved it and in my family i guess it’s just important to us lol like my mom and dad love it too and we have the literal VHS tapes LMAO, but it only came up recently cuz my youngest brother was watching lion guard HAHA and he wanted to see the originals :) and fun fact (unless you already know) but there’s a lion king part 2 and 1 1/2 and i have all three ON VHS HAHAHA but i love lion king 1 duh (the og) but part two’s music and love story..... is so good. anyway. 🦁

I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING DURING THE WHOLE MOVIE THEATER ENCOUNTER THING HAHAHA AND WHEN SHE WAS SAYING AWKWARD I WAS LIKE WTF THE NOISE LMAOOOO i don’t think there’s a better way to describe that whole situation than ZKDHDJSHAJAJSHDJSNAHA. yeah. yeaaaa at the cinemas (i like the word cinema more than movies 🥰) here they have chips (fries), some have ice cream, nachos, drinks, hot dogs, the cinema we were at had pretzels and like BURGERS I WAS LIKE HUH OKAY and ya know obviously popcorn but i don’t know why the theaters (or cinemas) here do that, it started a long time ago though like yearsssss

PLEASE i have the longest movie watchlist and uhh haven’t seen any of them JDJSKA (istg i use HSJSSKSH as a period - like . ) i’m still hype for cherry but very hesitant (idk if i can handle it) but i’m thinking about watching it in the next couple of weeks? i know it’ll take me forever bc i’m gonna have to keep pausing and shit but idk. i’ve asked around for very specific trigger warnings and time stamps so i REALLY know what’s coming (even if it spoiled the film a bit for me) but i do really wanna see it (i think? writing this now i’m not so sure lol) so whooooooo really knows lol, but chaos walking YES i was really excited about it :))) and about my friend uhh dude you don’t sound mean at all i was literally thinking the same thing but worse HAAKL idk what she was there for???? she bought my ticket tho so 💁🏾‍♀️ whatever

“SIMS ahh, BUNK BEDS ahh” had me cracking up lmao and you know my sims status JAJAHHAJ but i’m gonna become like you, saving every 5 minutes 😭 but that’s exactly what happened to me, i really didn’t know whether to shut it off or not but after 2 hours i was heartbroken lol i’m literally making a list of things i need to redo that wasn’t saved lmao

CAN I JUST SAY UR A MASTERMIND THOUGH??? UR SIMS GAME SOUNDS SO *chefs kiss* IM CRINE university is PAINFULLY long and LITERALLY I FEEEL THAT like you can’t do anything else without failing, i had my sim go to a party once for like a few hours and i felt so dumb afterwards like urgh he should’ve been studying LMAOO just cracking down on work honestly. UR NEIGHBOR!AU IN THE SIMS PLEASEEE i am very much in love with it, yes. (pouring rain has just suddenly begun where i am rn wow ok) i love that you put them on the same lot, that was really really smart and i love that ur living out your sexuality in the sims😭 i was abt to say “now you can say you’ve got experience bc of the sims” but ANYWAY IGNORE ME fhdhs THE ALIEN BABY DHSJSK i hope it’s not a dealbreaker for enisa. that’d be tragic. IM BACK IN UPPERCASE THO BC YES MAKING OUT IN THE SIMS IS SO HOT TO ME??? I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE STFU OH MY GOSH- all the stuff, whispering sweet nothings, and the making out, and JUST ALL OF IT!!! AM I TOUCH STARVED????? there was this time i made my sim just continue to woohoo bc it was turning me on big time. ANYWAY

half way through that i had to go to my grandmothers house (not the one that likes lion king, but uh hmm idk if you remember but i was talking abt my shit family so yeah that grandmother lol) so now i’m finishing this 🥴 and instead of chloe x halle i’m watching a tom interview lmao & if this takes me longer than 30 minutes.... imma cry

I REALLY WANNA ASK- IS IT BC UR GERMAN LIKE YOU CAN JUST WRITE OUT THAT LONG ASS WORD???? i mean i can’t write out supercalafrag- anyway, but that word is a bit nonsense, UR WORD IS A REAL WORD DUDE HDJSHS i love how ur like “maybe i mixed up these words” YEA OK.

lol i had to google what are waveformers lol (lol makes a comeback) and they look like curlers that you would sleep in (here we would call them curlers or uhm i forgot uhhhhhhh rollers i think) but ur fine when am i ever making sense?? i think the best part about these is the chaos yet we understand what the other means 😌

H20 H20 H20 OH MY GOODNESS SHE BROUGHT UP H20 OK MY LIFE WAS H20🥲 I HAVE THEIR LOCKET NECKLACE AND (short storytime) when i was younger i thought they were american despite their accents (idk i was dumb) but then i figured they weren’t when lewis went to go study in america HAHAH ALSO FAVORITE COUPLE CLEO AND LEWIS UGH WATCH ME REWATCH THE SHOW NOW THANKS (also i hated elizabeth so much) but anyway back on topic, when lewis went to go study in the US i looked up where the show took place and all that good stuff and i found out they were australian HAHAH and that started my obsession with accents LMAO the uk :’)) (i’m proofreading AND AUSTRALIA IS NOT A PART OF THE UK LMAOO IM SOO DHSJSSHS) also it is now one of my many goals (besides the body roll HAHAH) to go to mako island (that’s what it’s called right??)

about music, i googled stormzy and i might listen to a song of his.. LOL I WANNA GIVE IT A TRY IMMA DO IT FOR YOU NFDVSFSG lmaoo the german rapper had me cackling (autocorrect once again being helpful and said raper and i’m like nOO) i mean we all have that one person. can’t lie, won’t lie. my one (IM SORRY BUT AUTOCORRECT HAD “MY ONE TRUE ACCOMPLISHMENT” SITTING AND READY HDJSJA I DONT EVEN TYPE THAT wHAT) person out of my white soft boy with brown hair and brown eyes type would beeeee pete davidson. love me some petey. i was gonna say rex orange county as well lmao but i don’t really loveeee him i’m just in love with his music... and wanna be friends with him..... so 👉🏾👈🏾 (i never do that fdshsh)

oh my goodness, i love tattoos too- GASP what are you thinking of getting 🥺 i want tattoos too but i’m too indecisive to figure out what to have & where. especially in my family... idk they aren’t frowned upon but my mom’s not applauding the thought lol, if i got one it would have to be meaningful but i am absolutely in love with (for example) ariana grande’s finger tattoos !! they’re so cute and simple :’) i don’t even know if i can get tattoos? my skin is... interesting. not in a bad way!! just like.... idk how to explain it??? keyloids run in the family & i got a piercing once and it got infected soo :/ the doctor also confirmed that if i wanted tattoos they couldn’t be in color so LMAO

ONCE AGAIN THIS WHOLE THING FEELS SO TMI DHSHSSJ IM LIKE OHMIGOSH SHUT UP SHE DOESNT CARE JESJSKS

in regards to you not sleeping, i wanted to mention that dumb bird, what was the reason it was up so early aT 4AM???? SIR WHO YOU CALLING TO??? also it’s 11:30pm and idk why i’m tired???

yeah i was never SUPER into justin so i don’t know exactly what albums you’re talking about lol, i do know yummy though.. but everyone did hahaha also i listen to so much pop 🙈 i mean maybe... idk what would count as pop and what wouldn’t. that new person feeling though.. i get that. it’s like who is this new person..? i kinda feel like that with taylor swift (i was never THAT into her either though so it’s like oh wait i didn’t know you from the beginning instead of hello old friend but you’re different lol)

about the concerts, thanks 🥰🥰 that’s so sweet what you did for your mom too, it’s nice seeing them so happy like 🥲 awh AND GLEE IS AND WAS MY LIFE FOR A V V LONG TIME, i’ve been meaning to rewatch it for the longest time lmaooo but i’m just so lazy and it’s such a commitment... i’ll have to get emotionally involved again and idk if i want that rn. but i have a friend on instagram and she runs a glee fan account and it’s such a big part of her life i really don’t think i could ever be THAT obsessed with something. like another one of my friends loves tom holland so much that she changed her mom’s name in her phone to what tom’s mom’s name is in his phone (that was confusing lol) and obviously i’m not judging them AT ALL, it just couldn’t be me lol

CONCERTS LOOK LIKE SO MUCH FUN 😩😩 LIKE THE EXPERIENCE AND THE FEELINGGG URGHSJS i wanna see a few people live like ari and chloe x halle and- hmm.... idk who else FJDSJ rex orange county i guess huh anyway, the experience just sounds so amazing and the atmosphere is just ✨✨✨ yeah

aria do it do it do it do it do it- watch hamilton!! but with subtitles bc you won’t catch half of the things they’re saying without them LMAO (me and my family watched it and they all didn’t like it bc they didn’t know what was happening lol) BUT DONT WATCH IT AT 4AM LMAO ITS LITERALLY 3 HOURS LONG

yes!! superior peter fics 🥺🥺🥺🥺 and it just shows how much of an incredible writer AND PERSON you are through your fics that you can turn a blurb into 2k....... like what.

LMAO the annoying thing, sometimes i feel like i’m bothering people (like right now HAHAH) but i think it’s my antisocial side being like yeaa no one wants to talk to you like you wanna talk to them :’) idk it’s strange!! sometimes i get really ✨insecure✨ and overthink everything LOL like is this too long, im talking too much, i’m swearing too much, oh lord i’m a pain, all that good shit lmao so that’s fun:))

ALSO YOUR BLOG IS SO FUN TO ME HAHAK LIKE ITS JUST YOUR OWN AND I LOVE THAT!!! like you talk about everything and anything on here lol,, and i say that bc what you said lmao how if i was someone else i would want to fuck me so bad😭 i honestly don’t understand how i don’t have people lining up though..... but if no one’s gonna tell you... then you tell yourself, period (and sometimes telling yourself is fucking yourself HSHAJKS OK NEXT)

ohmigosh the realization you had that you graduated last year and are going to uni this year🤧 but the fact that you had a teacher who LEFT THE GROUP CHAT bc she was mad at y’all i- 😭 but yeah about your maths (i always wondered why you guys call it maths and the US calls it math. like i know so many people out of the states, not just in the uk that say maths) teacher- i saw this post that said online school is looking a lot like dora the explorer😭😭 “you have any questions?” 🦗 “okay bye then” lmao and please i love when tests have nothing to do with what you studied like ??? thanks? sometimes i get scared that my teacher will somehow find out that i googled everything? or like my answer is too close to the answer sheet or something. i get sooo nervous lol but i’m already past that point of not being able to do anything myself DHJS i mean i’m still learning like i said!! read the question, read the answer. boom. now i know the answer to the question and i learned!

THANKS 🙈🥰🤧 idk how else to explain my feelings LMAO i feel it’s cool that you find my dance lessons and voice lessons cool so thanks :’)

oh god not headache season 😭😭 allergies are the worst like it’s not even funny. is headache season just when the seasons are changing or is it like... all throughout the summer? cuz i love the summer lmaoo i love the winter too but i just love wearing as little clothes as possible LMAO

GIRL IF THAT BIRD DONT STOP CHIRPING- i am 100% convinced that it is the same bird trying to give you headaches and no sleep and it needs to stfu 😤 and pLEASE ur theme is adorable and pretty and cute but also it just feels like you? idk if i’m explaining this right or if it’s bc i’ve been talking to you for a bit but it’s cute but not innocent in a way that i’m surprised that you write smut and- yeah, that didn’t make sense!! but ur new theme is gonna look pretty too and as long as you like it, it’ll be amazing🥰

yessssss the fact that megan is gonna be ur pfp YES JUST YES

edit: ok i just need to 🥺😭 sometimes u make me wanna cry cuz i feel like you’re just a kind person. i truly mean this, the fact that you celebrate yours & others stretch marks makes me so 🥺🥺🥺 i honestly don’t know anyone who has said they want need more stretch marks and it’s just all very lovely to me :’)) OKAY IMMA STOP BEING SAPPY

#yes my fake tags are back #by popular demand #aka me #and look i have actual tags this time! #i’m seriously craving water ice rn....... huh #but it’s past midnight and i fr fr want a snack #aw man #i wrote that last paragraph while doing my tags yes #and i hope you become responsible for that anon’s orgasm #assuming they had one #and i saw your response to the tom thing and yeaa when they only look like that for something and it’s like aw bae be yourself #i’m gonna shut up now and find a snack but goodnight!! morning?? IDK #IF THESE TAGS END UP AS ACTUAL TAGS I AM SO SORRY HAHAHA #alright proofreading done and i’m gonna go eat cereal

okay i‘m on my way to a driving lesson rn and afterwards i have a zoom uni thing, and then another uni thing lmao. but hopefully i can reply to this in between because i‘ve been dying to talk to you since i got this ask dldjds💘💘💘 (i really like this heart. i had a 💖 phase for a while and now it‘s 💘 (seems like a very romantic heart but.... it is what it is idk dkddj)

^okay that was literally all i wrote before my lesson lmfao. just had the worst driving lesson ever dbdvsnylkxsksj i think i‘ve gotten too used to being good at driving and now i‘ve gotten too cocky with it 🥴 anyway i‘ve had such a stressful day and overall week but tbh i‘m already feeling better bc i can (indirectly) talk to you <333

omg i went to chloe or halle (i don‘t remember who out of the two)‘s instagram the other day and found out that they are not twins alejeleksjsksj but yes oh my god their voices are literally angelic and i can‘t wait to see Halle as Ariel (Arielle??)🥰 and omg it‘s literally 2021 and we‘ve only had......... one(?) black Disney Princess like it‘s about fucking time (I might be forgetting someone, I‘m not too familiar with the new Disney films, but as far as I remember there‘s only Tiana right? (who is literally a frog for 3/4 of the film 😭😭) so yes i‘m here for it too😌😌😌 (obviously she‘s not a cartoon like tiana ekdlek but she‘s a disney princess you know what i mean ddkjdh)

pfkejdj i‘m already overwhelmed with my parents i can‘t imagine having siblings too 😭😭 (sometimes i wish i had siblings but then other times (like after reading what you wrote dksjj) i‘m glad that i‘m an only child lmao like your brothers being mean to you and i remember when you cried and he was just like 👁👄👁 ok. like i’m totally okay being an only child sksjsj———and he doesn‘t listen to music 🤧🤧🤧 (although i guess that‘s good for you because at least he can‘t annoy you by listening to loud music that you hate dmdn)

okay okay i might watch wandavision then??? I‘ll definitely let you know!!! and yes omg i‘m loving tfatws (that really is so fucking hard to type omg) but same i totally get what you mean, i‘m not used to watching action series at all and every episode so far has been like a little movie so i‘m glad that i didn‘t wait until it was all out cause there’s no way i could binge watch that lol) and yes last episode was really intense. i‘m glad that marvel are talking about racism because (from what i‘ve seen) they haven‘t been the best in that department, and i‘m really curious to see what they‘ll do in the next episodes (curious isn‘t the right word but excited isn‘t the right wort either, like i‘m excited but in a neutral way ? i‘ll shut up dslsksj i hate that german has so many words that you cant translate because theres a really good german word that describes how i’m feeling but i cant think of a good translation ugh)

okay i absolutely need to watch lion king (and part 2 and 1/ 1/2 dksksj) AND hamilton, i might even do it soon 👀

BURGERS AT THE CINEMA? EBEEISNDBEKSK i‘ll come to the US just to go and watch a movie lmaooo, i think all the popcorn sizes and drinks are bigger as well, i‘ll come and watch chaos walking with you 😌😌 does next week work?

and yeah i‘ve seen posts with specific time stamps and trigger warning for cherry too so if you haven’t looked on tumblr yet i’ve def seen some! (but ive also seen some on twitter and yeah- i mean idk youve probably looked on tumblr but yeah- then there’s also imdb which doesn’t have time stamps i believe but quite specific warnings, mostly without spoilers!)

Tbh i don‘t think i would have even considered watching cherry if tom wasn‘t in it... (i’m personally fine with most of the triggering topics/things like for some reason i’m just stoic when i’m watching the most tragic films ever dldldldlbut the plot just... idk if it‘s for me you know? just entertainment wise?).... and even with tom in it i‘m unsure skeldls, i‘d totally get if you decide not to watch it but let me know if you do i‘d want to hear your thoughts! <3

SKSLSJJ my sims both finally graduated!! i think i played sometime last week, and i literally got the achievement/notification that i‘d been playing with this household for 24hours.... and that was BEFORE they graduated dldjdldkdksjjs

oh no my tumblr broke and three paragraphs of me talking about sims were deleted 😭😭😭

WAIT NO I TOOK SCREENSHOTSSKSK because i couldn’t press save so i knew they might be gone okay okay okay i‘m a genius

*move out

oh no idk if the quality is too bad to read... idk how good your eyes are dkdkdjjd (also sometimes it will be really bad quality for some but not for others so i hope that the you can see the pics in a normal/good quality)

Okay let me continue

OMG THE ROMANTIC AND SEXUAL STUFF IS THE BEST PART ABOUT THE SIMS DIDLDKJIkdkj i kind of miss how in the sims 3 they would be making out basically lying on top of each other if they were on a bed— but in sims 4 when they‘re sitting next to each other and everything that‘s definitely hot too 😌😭 or with hot tubs dkdkdk how one sim climbs on the other sim‘s lap before they woohoo (i used to make them skinny dip in the hot tub and then make out and woohoo so they’re like naked on top of each other even if you can‘t see anything- en e waysss)

Dkdkdkdj so @ Rindfleischet.. blah bla. so it‘s basically just loads of individual words put together/connected and that‘s a really big part of german. so yesterday i had an online Einführungsveranstaltung for uni (like it was a zoom meeting where they just talked about general stuff about the uni and i was really anxious before, idk why, but it turned out absolutely fine so) and that words consists of the two words Einführung (introduction) and Veranstaltung (event) which are also two individual words but you can make a new word (Einführungsveranstaltung, so in english that‘s basically “introduction event“ lmao) by combining those two words. there are obviously some rules like you can‘t just combine random words in a random order but you can basically make infinite words (technically). for example (i feel like i‘m teaching a class just skip this if you don’t care 🙃🙃🙃djdjdkdlns)

for example i could say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer (which is not underlined with red by tumblr because it is a grammatically correct compound word (i think that‘s what they‘re called?)) which is the words introduction + event + participant, so that word just means “participant of an introductory event“ but instead it‘s one word? i hope that makes sense? dkdkkdksks i mean it makes sense in german but idk if it makes sense to you cause idk if i‘m explaining it very well lmao,

(I just deleted a really really long paragraph that i wrote about gender in the german language and grammar, you‘re welcome slsksksj)

my capacity to think has now been used up for the week 🥴🥴🥴 i absolutely do not blame you if you just skipped over that part or can‘t be bothered to (re)read my awful explanation edkflsksjdjdj (again, i had double the amount of words but i just deleted it dkdkdlslsl but what‘s left lf my german lesson is probably confusing enough already😭i‘m sorry🥴)

so to answer your question LEJDKSKJ: it‘s really common to have long words in german, words that are just word+ word+ word + word made into one long word. obv rindfleischetikettierung..... is a very extreme example and it‘s normally just 2-4 words made into one! So yup i think that comes mostly from german and talking german and growing up here and going to school here and everything dmdfnsksx

i think the best part about these is the chaos yet we understand what the other means 😌— YES. YES. Yes. I love that about us 😌😌🥰🥰/ I love us. Yes.

okay but your friend changing her mom‘s name into tom‘s mum‘s name (was that right? Dkdkdjh)—— so Justin Bieber once posted something where you could see that his Dad‘s number was saved as „Daddy Cakes“ (which, thinking back, sounds very weird ekejjej) and till this day I have my Dad’s contact name as Tata (which is serbian for Dad lmao), “Tata🍰“ in my phone because of it 😭😭😭😭🙃🙃🙃 it‘s not because of justin anymore like i‘ve just gotten used to it by now but at first i did it because of justin lol........ but nowadays i don‘t think i‘m THAT type of fan of anyone- like you know how people have fandom names (Justin‘s fans are the Beliebers, One Direction fans are Directioners (writing that hurt my soul💔💔💔)) and I wouldn‘t consider myself a fan of anyone like that. like even with tom i wouldn‘t call myself........ does tom even have a name for his fans??? Well if he does, I wouldn‘t call myself that. Like i used to be such a hardcore stan for any celebrity that i liked and now it‘s just... okay, i like em. (She says on her blog where she writes fan fiction about Tom Holland — WJDJEJDKELSKSKKSNSNDXB🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃)

Omg rex orange county!!!!!! I don‘t know that many songs like I‘ve only listened to the album pony, but i love it 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

thanks again for what you said about my fics/writing I‘m🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Pete Davidson Pete Davidson Pete Davidson I‘m-🥰🥰🥰🥰 and I can‘t explain why. But as blissfulparker said the other day (i don‘t want to tag her and make her read through all of this lolll) “I like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death 😍“ (or something along the lines of that) eskkejs okay pete isn‘t that bad, he looks quite good on some days but other days you‘re like... is this man alive? Like i don‘t want to be mean I love Pete so much The King of Staten Island is literally my favourite film ever (although it‘s not my #1 because of how he looks, but i mean he does look good) VUT ALSO

(Okay i was gonna look for a terrible picture of him but he really doesn‘t look as bad as people say??? like. i think he‘s hot. can‘t necessarily explain why. so that‘s that on that.)

i‘m not going chronologically right now (i just keep scrolling up to your ask and replying to whatever i see first sksksksh) so i might miss a thing or two that you said

Okay Stormzy, you really really don‘t have to dkdkdjd like i think you said you don‘t really listen to rap, and uk rap is a whole nother thing from us rap because of the accent i feel like??? (That sentence did not make sense) BUT if you‘re looking for a few songs that aren‘t like RAP rap, then I‘d recommend One Second (feat HER), Superheroes, Own it (which you might know?), ummm maybe the song Lessons?, he has a ton of Lion King references by the way dkdjdj for example in Rachael‘s Little Brother but that‘s like more RAP again if you know what I mean?😭 and it‘s also like 5 Minutes long and tbh i only started liking that song a year after that album came out lmao but Rachael‘s Little Brother is possibly my fav Stormzy song, then there is Shut Up which you absolutely need to listen to just for fun dldjdjd like it‘s just pure fun and also a little funny lmao, especially if you‘re not British (i imagine so at least) cause he‘s like shuTTTT up idk dldkdjdldkjdhdhfjfbfldlsksksks

Vossi Bop is one of his classics, and then maybeee - ok so there‘s Blinded By Your Grace Pt. 2 lmaoobdjsj it‘s very (Christian/) religious but i like it a lot even though i‘m not really Christian (at least not practicing or anything) so idk about your views on religion but i do like the song a lot just by like the sound lmao

Okay so again you absolutely DO NOT have to listen to any, especially not for me dlskdj but I really do recommend the songs Superheroes, One Second and Rachael‘s Little Brother (and all the other ones i mentioned but if you don‘t listen to a lot of his songs you should at least give these three a try <3333) also let me know some of your songs? 🥺 like i dont care who they‘re by but i‘d love to listen to some that you like and Recommend 🥰🥰🥰

Okay so skdjdjdjddhhddhdhjsk... I used to watch all of my series in German (like H2O) bc obviously they were on german tv so they were german- and i knew that most of these actors i saw on tv were american and i was always SO fascinated that they all learned german for this show??? Like I actually thought they were the people‘s real voices and that these English and American actors were learning german so they could re-record the whole ass show and do everything in german dkdkdldjdjjd... i swear I thought that until I was like 14 omg. And then the first time that I watched H2O in the original version i was sooo confused about their accents because to me all actors who spoke english were American?? I mean MOST of those shows are American so I wasn‘t completely off but yeah i was definitely caught off guard when I heard all of their Australian accents for the first time 💀💀😭😭😭

@ math vs maths, math actually makes more sense in my opinion. like you have the word mathematics, then the abbreviation would obviously be math... why would English people randomly add the s from the end??? Or maybe it makes more sense after all because it‘s like plural??? Now I‘m unsure dkdkdkdj but i do say maths because that‘s how i was taught to say it and i hear the word maths more than math but yeah dldkdjs i think math might even make more sense (okay i just tried saying math and maths is easier to pronounce but again tjat might just be me, oh god i‘ll stop talking about that disgusting thing (mathematics).)

not the crickets and dora LMAOOOSNSNSMDNBS yeah that teacher was... a lot. a lot a lot a lot didjjd but she kinda liked me so she always gave me good grades/marks but the people she didn‘t like..... ooft. OOF.

Fksksjsj idek about headache season like i just know that i get headaches from the sun and i‘m allergic to only one.. type of...pollen??? (I don’t understand the science of that whole pollen thing and idek if it’s called pollen in english i just know sex pollen from fan fics😔)and yeah we have this weird wind that makes a lot of people get headaches yeahd dkdkdj. i loved the i just love wearing as little clothes as possible LMAO lllioool i love that i really do. i always struggle so much in the summer cause i never have anything to wear. i feel like i buy so many new summer clothes every year but when i end up looking for an outfit i don‘t ever find anything 😭 (so i just go naked— lmao jk jk) but i‘m generally not the biggest fan of summer so-

OMG THIS FUCKING BIRD ISTG, okay the first time i heard it i went to sleep at like 5 am, so the next day i was like let me go to bed earlier so the bird doesn‘t keep me up, so i went to bed at 4 am (🥲) and THE BIRD JUST STARTED FUCKING CHIRPING SO LOUDLY, so the next day i went to bed at 3 am AND IT FUCKING STARTED AT 3 AM and it‘s still there 😁 every. night.

and since you said you‘ve gotten used to my theme and everything (idk where this transition came from😭) so tomorrow (2nd april) we have our... wait what‘s an anniversary but for a month.? I think month is like mensus in latin OK NO THATS DEF WRONG DKDKDJ wait

So Tomorrow is our... mensiversary💘💘💘💘💘💘 or at least from the first time you sent an ask. i couldn‘t find it on my tumblr anymore because tumblr is a bit of a bitch but i remember the first thing you ever sent (in an ask) was something lovely about my writing and i always take screenshots of stuff like that, and i found it in my gallery. and i took that screenshot of your ask on the 2nd of march so i‘m assuming that‘s when you sent it 🥰🥰 i feel like i‘ve known you for a week not a month like how is it a month already????? (i mean this in a good way lmao but i really can’t believe that its been a month wtf)

omg no you make me want to cry because i just love you so much 😭😭🥺 but about the stretch mark thing it‘s just.. it‘s not even me trying to empower other women (or anyone else who has stretch marks) to shake off these dumb insecurities that the patriarchy and capitalism have instilled in us— ok no it‘s definitely that too lmao. But i mean I‘ve always loved stretch marks, i‘ve just always loved loved loved them so much so it makes me genuinely sad that people don‘t like them. so yeah. i dont really know how to explain it lol, like i‘m not (only) hoping that people realise that hating your stretch marks is giving the men and the patriarchy what they want per se- (that made no sense) it‘s just because i love stretch marks and think they‘re beautiful and also sexy. idk dldkdjls and omg the fact that you called me kind 🥺🥺🥺 like i don‘t really have a goal in life or anything, but if i had to choose a ‘goal‘ in life it would just be to be kind. (i‘ll end this here otherwise i‘m gonna talk about being kind for 30 more lines—)

And please. Do not ever feel like you‘re annoying me or sending too much. never ever ever. I get so happy when i see that you‘ve sent me an ask. No matter if it‘s a long one like this or just a short one where you‘re saying something about a post that i reblogged or something. I love hearing from/about you and talking to you 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

P.S: i‘m so sorry for the tags you‘re about to read they make even less sense than this post, also i reached the tag limit dkdkdj but i said some butterfly tattoos look tacky... and the next thing i said was since we‘re already speaking about Ariana- I DID NOT MEAN THAT SHE WAS TACKY dldkdjsj, i meant since you already mentioned some of her tattoos lmao

#lovely anon #<3 #ALSO I LOVE YOUR TAGS SM DKDJDKDL #i definitely (accidentally) didn‘t say something about every single thing you said #but this is so long already and i don‘t want to force you to read even more of my shite dldkdjsj #(i dont day shite i say shit but sometimes shite sound funnier)#*say #omg its too mate to speak english what i meant was i‘m sire i forgot to adress some of the things you said but i tried my best iwjwskb #omg adress (address? lmao) sounds so negative i mean i‘m sure i forgot to reply to some things- also *late not mate loool #omg ignore my whole german lesson i cant believe i actually wrote all of that wtf #but it took me like 20 minutes so i don‘t want to delete it 😭#and omg i hope you got to re do everything that your sims game didnt save and that it all worked out the same #😭#I NEARLY DELETED THIS ASK WITJ MY ANSWER OH MYFUCKING GOD MY FUCKING HEART #also i realised i didnt say anything at all about uni but i dont have any news like that Einführungsveranstaltung (😭) I went to was literall #just about schedules and credits and boring stuff mostly lmao #oh and tattoos!!!! it sucks that you might not be able to get the ones that you want/get any :((((( but hopefully you can at least get some #that arent in colour? 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼#so my parents aren‘t that supportive either like they most definitely wouldnt pay for it (even though they pay for a lot of my stuff lmao)#but i think in the end they know that i‘m old enough and they can‘t stop me and they‘d accept it one day so they‘re definitely not THAT bad #maybe your parents will change their mind over time? :(#or maybe youll just get one one day and ig theyll have to get used to it lol #so i want a butterfly (thats the only thing that i‘m sure about) and there are a lot of butterfly tattoos that look really tacky #but speaking of her i actually really like ariana‘s butterfly! but idk if i want that much shading- i have a whole album with like 35 photos #of just butterfly tattoos lol- i‘ll stop here tho. ldkdkd #omg im rereading this all and it‘s so messy good luck dkdkkddl #my tags got messed up and idk how to fix it #wait did i reach the tag limit and you cant even see half of these? 😭😭😭#i‘m so confused about these tags why are they not in the correct order? 😭😭😭 ily snd i‘m so sorry for dropping this post on you none of it #none of it makes sense.

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thoughtfullyyoungduck · 4 years

Text

I know him

A/N: this was requested by anon, I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think!

summary: could you do a reddie x daughter where she sees apparitions of penny wise but keeps it to herself. but one day when she’s w all the losers they mention pennywise in a short joke and she says she knows who that is n they all freak out wondering how she knows and ask her questions to confirm and somehow she knows everything that happened

warnings: fear of being stuck in an elevator so I guess small spaces, pennywise, a brief mention of vomiting and curse words

The old elevator scared her for as long as she could remember, it’s old doors creaking and closing leisurely, and the inside of it coated in a filthy substance that your dad avoided at all costs and urged you to do the same. Many horror story that roamed the building hallways originated from said moving lift, endless cases of people getting stuck in there and injuring themselves, some minor wounds, some majors.

In one particular case, a man from apartment block B4 broke his hand while trying to escape the grimy space, reaching for help outside of the lift only to have the doors ruthlessly crushing his bones, inducing agony so severely that he had to have his hand amputated.

Or another one during which a woman found herself trapped in it’s confinements while a thunderstorm was happening, and ended up electrocuting and dying before morning dawn.

It’s possible that Richie made those story’s up however, and Emma is the first one to admit that her pops does have a track record of pulling pranks on her, but there is a sliver of truth behind the stories.

Several people reported the elevator for malfunctioning, and the tenant always promised to fix the issue, but he never did, and so the thing continued to be a problem. Emma rarely used it, and if she happened to make use of it’s services, she made she was always accompanied by someone who could help in case of an emergency.

June twentieth though, she returned home from school, secretly excited about the prospect of being on her own for the evening, as Richie and Eddie were going out on a date to celebrate their anniversary, and she already imagined all the junk food she bought and would eat throughout the night, when she stumbled upon a problem.

The apartment Richie, Eddie and her lived on was located at the top floor, the furthest away from the prying eyes of the public, in lieu of their future home being renovated, which meant that taking the stairs was a painstaking chore that left her drained of all energy by the time she made it up.

Normally, she occupied the escalator anyway, but she slipped and twisted her ankle at school that morning, and despite it not hurting too bad, Emma figured that using the elevator was still the better call, so her ankle had time to rest.

She hesitated only briefly, before confidently walking in the lift, and pressing the bottom for the eight-floor. Emma tried to make light off the situation, using humor the way Richie had thought her, telling herself that she better take a large gulp of air, just in case the door refused to open again once they slid shut.

‘I got this I got this I got this’, she murmured to herself, psyching herself up before panic overtook her. Using the elevator was an irrational fear she had, and no amount of times riding helped any good in overcoming it. Realistically, the worst thing that could happen was that she locked in, waiting until a neighbor also needed to use the elevator and noticed that someone was in there, then effectively helping her out, but the thought of spending even five minutes with no way out gave her chills, so she suppressed that thought and waited patiently until the lift moved up.

Only it didn’t. The doors latched shut, but no movements upwards preceded. Clearing her throat, Emma hit the floor number again, rationalizing that she pressed the number too soft to be registered, but the eight lit up and yet again no movement took place.

Emma laughed antsy, breathing in and out deeply, still convincing herself that everything was fine, and a firmer hand was needed to get the lift moving, but when nothing happened, she hurriedly thumbed the open button.

With a screeching sound, the doors began to open, wide enough that tears welt up in Emma’s eyes from relief, but then the doors unfolded just enough to see through them into the open hall, not big enough for Emma’s form to fit through, and then shut again.

Terror infiltrated every pore of her being, rendering her a anxiety riddled mess, her breathing shaking too much to properly inhale. Black spots danced on the edge of her vision, becoming faint enough that Emma stumbled backwards and had to grip the railing bar tight in order not to fall.

The temperature read 35° degrees Celsius, the room hot enough that sweat drops formed on Emma’s forehead, and she lost her cool, her mind conjuring up the worst case scenarios.

She repeatedly pushed the open button, wheezing fresh air in the nik of time, while begging to whoever was listening to save her from this mess. Changing tactics, Emma attacked the alarm bell, but then over-analyzed that too. She had no clue whether or not she was supposed to hold it for a longer period of time, or release it and attempt multiple times.

A phone that connected to the main office was also present, and when Emma perceived that, she lunged for it and held it to her ear as close as possible.

‘Hello, please help me’, her voice cracked, ’I’m stuck.’ Nothing but static greeted her, no person on the other line to help her or comfort her, no help on the way.

The tears began bolstering down her cheeks then, a single one leading the way for many others once the dam was finally broken. In spite of not receiving an answer, Emma repeated the same word over and over again anyway, unable to think of any other way out.

She feared that if she kept opening the door, that that too would stop working, and then the heat building would suffocate her. Or the elevator may crash down, killing her instantly, or starvation and dehydration would take her out before anyone finds her and saves her. The fears may sound un-rational, but to Emma they were very real, and she worked herself up into a near panic attack.

‘Please, please, please, I want my parents’, she continues to sob, hoping against all hope that someone apprehends her message.

Her prayers seemed to have been answered when a white glove creeps through the elevator slot, the fingers wiggling back and forth.

‘Take my hand Emma, I’ll help you out.’

Inhibitions aside, Emma allowed said hand to wrap around her wrist, and urged her closer to the edge of the lift, another gloved hand pushing the lift apart and jerking her through. Ignoring the way the stranger somehow knew her name and the way she was lucky she wasn’t crushed by the doors, Emma heaves down on the ground, her painful ankle all forgotten.

The jitters in her body making her stand on shaky legs until she dropped down on her knees. Lunch had already processed most likely, as she couldn’t hurl up anything solid, but a bad taste lingered in her mouth lingers in her mouth regardless

When the last flow leaves her, Emma sits back, still on the ground, her hands buried in her hair to ground herself.

‘You’re out, you’re okay, you’re fine,’ she reassures herself, refraining from rocking back and forth.

For the first time, Emma glanced upwards to look at the person who saved her. The man, if she could call it that, wore a clown suit, completed with a face caked full of make-up. She inched away from him when their eyes connected, certain that the eyes that stared back were yellow, but upon second glance, she notices they were blue, just like her pops.

‘hmm, are you alright there? You look a bit shaken up’, the man grinned with his teeth visible, yellow and sharp on top while his tongue licked over them like he was hungry. He creeped Emma out, but he did rescue her, so Emma felt obligated to give him the benefit of the doubt.

‘Thank you’, she breathed out, the tears in her eyes running dry. He extended a hand out to her, and she took it, pulling herself upright and shaking the nerves off of her.

‘Who are you?’

‘My names Pennywise the dancing clown,’ he giggled in a weird, unsettling tone, ‘you really should refrain from using that lift, I heard it’s,’ he paused and winked at her, ‘scare inducing.’

‘Right,’ Emma trailed off, the polite smile on her face never fading away. ‘Oh wait, you’re a circus performer right? I heard about it coming to town from one of the posters outside.’

At pennywise nod, Emma relaxed. Sure, he came across as frightening, but maybe that was just her imagination after the scare she had experienced, and it would provide a reason why he was dressed like that.

‘Yes yes’, he explained, ‘do you like the circus? Because I love it’, he twisted his body in a way that made bells go off, the smile on his face unusually large for his face. Speaking of which, his forehead was also massive.

‘Your fathers used to love the circus too.’ The admission sparked new interested within Emma, who perked up and listened to him with all her attention.

‘You knew my fathers?’ she asked, shaking off the worry that loomed in the back of her mind.

‘Why yes of course I do, we were all best friends, and we did so much fun things together. If you want, I’ll tell you all about it.’

Emma hesitated, she had never met this man, and he seemed to be sketchy, but at the same time her interests had been piqued, and she figured that the man wouldn’t have come to her aid if he had something malicious planned.

‘They lived in Derry, Eddie and Richie, and they have always been best friends. But the summer of 1989 was one they’ll never forget.’

Emma frowned, neither her dad nor her pops had ever mentioned the summer of 1989, nor had they ever discussed any other people outside of the losers club, but if he knew their names were Eddie and Richie, there’s no way he hadn’t met them.

‘Ow yes, the summer their nightmares came to live right before their very eyes,’ his voice lilts up in a sing song sound, almost a mocking tone, and he belly laughs, as if the prospect of facing your fears was that funny to imagine.

Emma’s heart began to pound faster when the memories of the lift resurfaced, and she couldn’t phantom anyone laughing at that.

‘It all began with uncle Bills little brother….’

When Emma awoke, she was laying down on the sofa, her legs stretched over side so her feet were dangling. She lifted her head and scanned the room in confusion, blinking away the sleep from her eyes.

She would’ve swore that she had a conversation with a guy, but maybe that was a nightmare that she experienced a little too vividly. The talk was strange to begin with, anecdotes including murder, brutal attacks and near death experiences presented as something that really took place, something her family endured.

A quick search on the internet let Emma to believe that she saw a hallucination induced by her distress, and so she never mentioned anything to her fathers when they returned home from their date.

Perhaps the man had offered help to Emma, and he was uncanny enough that Emma dreamed about him after he left, but the conversation was all in her head and never had never come to pass.

The elevator was at full service again the next day, so she never informed Richie and Eddie of that either, feeling no need to rehash how irrational she behaved.

She adamantly fought tooth and nail to never step near the lift at any time, and since her parents were good at parenting, they accepted that with no questions asked, although Richie would huff and puff walking up and down the stairs, his old man bones creaking in protest changelessly.

-----

‘Chug chug chug’, Bill chants, his hands balled in fist chomping down on the table as he viewed Richie gulping down his glass in one smooth sling.

‘I hate it here’, Stan rolls his eyes, downplaying the nearly there smile that graced his face upon hearing roared laughter.

Losers club meetings always brought a never seen amount of chaos and noise, causing them to be chucked out of restaurants more than once, but they’re never deterred.

Stan advocated on multiple occasion to host the parties in one of their houses, but upon the suggestion of organizing one at his house, he backed down and dejectedly proposed a new restaurant they’re welcome at, for now.

This time, the choice alternated between a new Thai restaurant or a steak house that Richie tipped very generously for last time they visited, the new Thai place being a tad more inviting.

Emma loved losers meetings, because she always got to reconnect with her aunts and uncles, and also because the food was more than delicious.

She adored all the losers dearly, but the one she formed a special bond with was Mike, the history buff who knows more than Emma’s actual history teacher, and the one who somehow knows all the right words she must hear if she asks for advice.

The spot next to him is without fail the one chair that remains empty until she arrives, hanging off the tip of his tongue to hear about all the adventures he undergoes on his far off trips.

Today is no exception, Mike sitting on Emma’s left as she bolsters equally as loud as her uncles and aunts as liquid spills from the side of her pops’s face, staining the new shirt her dad recently bought and now belongs in the trash.

Eddie’s face is set in a scowl, as he thrusts out for a napkin and hands it over to Richie, who takes it with a smack kiss on the cheek as a romantic gesture Eddie repulses away from.

‘Dude, keep your disgusting bear filled lips the fuck away from me’, his face lighting up with a blush he tried but fails to suppress. His repulsion of germs decreases every day, but it’s not gone completely, the avoidance of touching the table with any skin proof.

‘Oh come on Eddie, it can’t possibly bother you that much, you married the guy’, Stan remarks, chuckling when Patty softy taps him on the arm.

A waiter pops his out from behind a wall, his face betraying nothing, but the murderous look in his eyes more than telling enough that this will be the last time they pop in this eatery. He refrains from saying anything though, walking away with a rigid back to no doubt complain to his coworkers about annoying table number five.

Thank god, they’ve only arrived an hour ago, and are still waiting on their food to come, and Emma is excited to try it.

‘Ben and I saw the circus in town two weeks ago,’ Bev steers the conversation in a different direction, bored with the current lack of anything but laughter.

The mention of the circus reminds Emma of the strange encounter that happened, the incubus she can recall in perfect detail. The duality of reality and fiction confusion her to this day. She’s pretty sure she dreamed the whole thing besides her being stuck, but then did Pennywise exists for real? And if not, then who helped her out?

The table turns abnormally quiet, so much so that it shocks Emma out of her thoughts. Stan’s face in particular drains of all color and he taps his fingers on the table to remain calm and collected, Patty scrutinizes his every move, but she is lost for how to react as well.

Ben sips his drink awkwardly, clearing his throat after and lacing his hand with Bev with a warning squeeze. Emma is a second away from asking what in the world is going on, but Richie’s got it covered.

‘Yeah, you saw any one familiar? Like a type of clown hoping we die gruesomely? It’s been a while huh I wonder how he’s doing these days.’

‘Richie’, Eddie hisses exasperated, motioning his head in Emma’s direction to remind Richie their daughter was still in the room with them.

Emma chortles at his joke, covering her mouth with her hand so that no piece of the chip she’s nibbling on accidentally lands on the table, the others following her lead easily. They remain at the edge of their seat, not yet settled, but Richie’s humor calmed them down enough that the tense atmosphere around the room fizzles out.

Emma, unthinkingly and mindlessly adds; ‘That someone happened to be named Pennywise?’

She continues to chuckle at her addition, right up to the point that a glass crack to her left, Ben’s glass splintered in tiny pieces on the floor as his big, shock filled eyes gawking at Emma as if she announced she’s pregnant.

The sound of glass relinquishing disturbs Emma’s laugh, the blast spooking her out of nowhere.

‘What? Her dad asks her pressed, and if she thought the losers looked keyed up before, the consternation they now display is in a whole different ballpark.

Trying to rail the topic back on track, Emma continues to jest the situation, reminiscing on the fictional things in her dream.

‘Yeah, you know Pennywise. The clown that transformed into your worst fears. Stan’s painting, pop’s clowns, dad’s gazebo’s, oh and of course we can’t forgot about breaking dad’s arm right.’

No one else laughs, all of them staring shell shocked ahead, unbeknownst to Emma thrusted back to the summer of hell.

‘Emma,’ Richie address her, his palm rubbing across his chest on the left side, his heart burning with urgency to protect his daughter and his family without a second of hesitation.

Richie rarely uses her name in place of a nickname, so she drops the act and tunes out every other person and sound for the sake of paying attention to her pops.

‘Where did you hear all of that?’

A cold gust of winds breezes around the room, resulting in shivers that shake Emma’s whole body. All members of the losers club focus on her, awaiting her response to the question. Eddie and Richie in particular are most keen on finding out how their daughter somehow, without any of them telling, savvy traumatizing events of their youth.

‘I don’t know, a nightmare. Why is it so important?’ Emma inquires, enclosing her body with her arms in an effort to comfort herself.

‘A nightmare?’ Eddie clarifies, the intention behind his inquire not flying over her head.

‘Emma’, Mike interrupts to stop the impending flood of dread about to unleash over her before it even begins.

‘I know you know so much more than you’re letting on. I understands why this is scary, but it’s of the upmost important that you come clean now.’

Mike can read her better than a book, and that’s saying something for a librarian, so Emma gives in, overwhelming tears sticking to her eyelashes, the attention proving to be too much, begging anyone in the room to explain to her what’s going on.

‘The elevator got stuck in our apartment building, and this guy, Pennywise helped me out.’

‘Oh applejack,’ Richie exclaims, understanding now why she’s so resilient on trudging the escalator. Eddie scrambles up from his chair across from Emma’s seat, and tucking her away safely in his arms, her head underneath his chin.

‘it’s okay Ems, you’re safe, you’re fine.’ He soothes her, suppressing his own sobs at the knowledge that Pennywise had been this close to attacking his daughter, the light of his and Richie’s life. Richie joins him a moment later, pressing both Eddie and Emma close to him in spite of the difficult position they’re in.

‘Yeah, no fucking clown is coming near you again, well except for uncle Stan then of course. He gets a pass.’

Uncle Stan dishes out no jab, inevitably inciting more terror in Emma, who whimpers and hides behind the shield her dads form around her.

The night ends with a sleepover all the losers join in on, each and every one committed to creating a safe space for Emma, and if that means killing Pennywise again, then so be it.

#reddie #reddie x daughter #My writing #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrack #Richie x Eddie #richie tozier imagine #eddie kaspbrak imagine #the loser club imagines #it chapter two imagine #mike hanlon imagine #ben hanscom #beverly march imagine #bill denbrough imagines #stanley uris #richie as a parent #richie as a dad #eddie as a parent #Eddie as a dad

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