#i also dont have names for them yet rip

[hext00ns]

A doodle for some oc ideas ive had where a man adopts a daughter who turns out to be the Antichrist and bringer of the apocalypse

[a-passing-storm]

Bass players are so cool and sexy <333

[brainrotzora]

recent ffxiv livetweeting. spoilers through the end of arr patch quests btw.

[daftmooncretin]

rip to rian johnson but star wars sequels would be way better if ben solo was just kinda cowardly and han solo coded so he defected from the jedi and went to be a fun swashbuckling anarchist space cowboy instead

and finn and poe have to find him and try to convince him to come back to the rebellion but hes afraid who he is and what he could become

also instead of luke trying to kill his nephew for NO REASON (so insanely out of character it boils my blood) he just realises after ben dips thats hes not cut out for teaching. and is living on a mandalorian colony as rebellion liason/ambassador with chewie and sometimes lando i guess (din djarin is there) he aids the rebellion (because of course he would fuck that plotline) but he wont stay on the rebel base because he doesnt like all the chosen one clout and mandalorians are very chill and mind their own business

han and leia are still together and play active parts in the rebellion because fuck that plotline too although they do disagree about the ben situation (leia is annoyed and han is understanding) poe and ben childhood friends and for what.

in this au, rey is raised in the empire and is a sith lord but she has doubts and isnt as abjectly disgusting as kylo ren because of course not. (appears slightly too interested in the rebellion when poe is captured and maybe??? possibly lets finn and poe escape but thats up for debate.) rey gets more evil over course of movies before turning to light for plot drama and a satisfying zuko arc.

force awakens timeline

prophecy that a new jedi will rise and take down the dark side. rey and sith lord (dk who but fuck snoke im writing him out) assume it is the missing ben solo (its finn and rey tho fr) and are intent on finding him. movie opens on rey being evil probably and capturing poe. also finn as a character actully needs no real changes hes great. and then next scene space pirate ben solo doing his thing (but without identity revealed so we dont know who he is yet he may go by kylo because funny)

instead of luke poe has a lead on missing almost-jedi before he dipped ben solo and is searching for him on leias orders.(rebellion also believe the prophecy is about him. but nuh uh) torture scene and escape scene doesnt need to change but show reys nuances and how lost she is.

in the interest of narrative poe and finn still crash on tatooine but finn manages to pull poe out of the crash. (finn still gets the jacket at some point because i say so) poe is too injured to fly so they seek out help and and meet ben solo who saves them from pirates or something idk. (but neither know who the other is)

finn and poe convince ben solo to be their pilot still thinking hes a random smuggler named kylo. they get along very well, especially finn and ben. rey by this point is tracking their whereabouts

they end up on that lightsaber planet and ben gets the weird darth vader nightmare and freaks out, (hes afraid of being evil or something idk) poe is getting suspicious now also finn feels the force and takes up the lightsaber. rey comes and finn trys to hold her off. finn get hurt and drops lightsaber. ben is forced to take it up and his identity is revealed as rebel reeforcements led by han and leia arrive and they see him fighting. rey and ben have a weird charged moment (yes i guess i am still making reylo a thing but its reyben now and its woke so shh) and in a dramatic desperate effort he manages to knock her lightsaber away with the force. poe crawls into a plane at somepoint and blows up reys ship. the rebels destroy the stormtroopers but rey captures finn and escapes in a stolen ship.

ben has a oh-shit-i-said-id-never-use-the-force-again related existential crisis which makes him freak out and leaves. a distraught finn-less poe calls him a coward. poe picks up the discarded lightsaber and the jackettm and sadly packs them up. leia tells him about the starkiller and poe volunteers to go on the starkiller and save finn. han and leia have a sweet moment and han decides to go with poe on the suicide mission, chewie goes too.(chewie arrived at somepoint i guess)

mid hostage situation finn blocks reys force attempt and shes shook up. he sees something in her (finn is a beautiful sweetheart) and he trys to appeal to her. she force chokes him and books it out of there. but it is clear she fears him a little. he escapes with mind tricks and runs into han poe and chewie on the deck. finnpoe moment fr. poe gives him his jacket back in order to get the keep it it looks good on you line.

meanwhile ben is back on his ship(i guess its the falcon?) and he thinks about finn and his mom and luke or something.. a dream maybe?? idk something emotional and motivational for his arc. and he goes to a box under the floor in his ship and pulls out a green lightsaber. he turns the ship around.

on the ship poe finn han and chewie are planting the bombs and escaping when they get stopped by stormtroopers ordered by rey. poe is about to be shot by a big droid thing when it is cut in half by ben wow big reveal hes here oooo ah. rey is shot in the shoulder by chewie and angrily orders more stormtroopers. they cant take them all. han sacrifices himself by blowing up the bridge. he tells finn and poe to find luke in the mandolorian colony ben is distraught him and han have an emotional goodbye he tells him to tell leia he’s sorry and that he loves him and he proud of him then he makes chewy get ben out of there and he blows himself up. leia senses it v sad rip man but he had to die to intensify plot drama

rey chases them onto the ice planet and another weird charged moment. mind link established??? this time ben is too angry and grieving though so its not a good match and she wounds him real bad all over hes v scarred now. poe shoots at rey and throws lightsaber at finn. he gets ben onto the ship and finn and rey have the big force awakens show down. finn uses the force v powerful all that jazz the good guys get away. on the ship finn mentions how he felt a connection with rey to poe and claims he sees good in her

movie ends with meeting luke on mandolore. ben is very traumatised wont really speak to finn or poe and avoiding luke. finn returns lukes lightsaber and rey has doubts movie over. movies ends with ominous rey ben mind link

final notes (on first movie and overarching rewrite plans)

finn

finn is the protagonist of this movie so it would be much more character heavy on him them the original. more in depth on his stormtrooper trauma, how he always chooses the people he loves over the cause and his reluctance to join the rebellion. his friendship with poe and the han/leia parallel’s especially. relationships with han and ben important for his character exposition and he plays a key role in supporting both rey and bens character progression. possesses the strong sense of mercy and kindness at the heart of the star wars franchise.

rey

rey is raised in the first empire and does not know anything different. when she meets finn who was able to rebel and escape from the same system she is trapped in she becomes plagued by doubts and projects all of her hatred and resentment onto finn to compensate, but it is clear she fears him. to escape from her doubts she fixates on finding and capturing ben solo imagining him to be a frightening and terrible adversary. however when she meets him they see eachothers minds, and she sees how plagued by doubt and fear he is, how he runs from everything and he sees her too. they connect and develop a strange mutual fascination/understanding. this is put askew by finns appearance at the end of the movie in defence of ben. reys fear of finn increases when she sees the true extent of his power. she fears and hates equally finns strength of character and easy goodness and by extension hates ben for his alliance with finn. she blames finn for “taking” ben from her.

ben solo

kylo ren is a disgusting blight on the star wars names so ben solo is being completely reclaimed by me into a different character because i fucking hate that stupid pretentious eboy. instead ben solo is an incredibly han solo coded character with a heart of gold and deep love and loyalty to his friends and family. his main weakness as a character in this rewrite is his fear and lack of self belief. ben is terrified of being a jedi and of his own power. he fears his own nature and was so afraid he would become his grandfather that he ran from the jedi altogether. ben solo is a runner that wont face his problems, he runs from the jedi and from his parents to avoid failing or becoming something terrible. finn and ben recognise the need to run in eachother (although important distinction finn runs because he doesn’t want to fight for a cause. and ben runs because hes afraid he will be the reason the cause fails) and ultimately encourage eachother to break the cycle and stand their ground (well finn motivated ben in this movie, finns not fixed yet.) Bens arc in these movies is about learning to live with his own nature and fighting for what he believes in despite his fear. also dealing with mommy issues (ben is kind of jealous of poe and leias relationship the son she wanted or something blah blah blah etc) and being a malewife to his murder girlfriend. his job is kind of to support and fight with finn and later rey and help them save the world

finnpoe (will be a gay couple)

their friendship will be front and centre in these movies because they represent duty vs personal loyalty. poe puts the cause above all else and values his own life and personal relationships little. finn on the other hand is disillusioned with establishment cause of stormtrooper trauma and wants to protect himself and others from it. poe is the first person that finn truly bonds with and loves. he puts poe above everything, including being a jedi and the rebellion. this leads to a lot of fighting and discord between finn and poe as finn doesn’t understand how important the rebellion is to poe and poe doesnt get why finn is trying to protect him from it. ultimately though poe teaches finn faith and belief and finn teaches poe to accept love and value himself. (also many hanleia parallels) the two of them are the harbingers of a new age. poe as future leader of the new republic and finn as the jedi messiah or whatever. in terms of romance, im thinking slowburn. baity first movie, kiss at the end of the second and established relationship by the halfway mark of the third.

also when rey eventually joins the light in the beginning she refuses to talk to ben (cause of romantic drama i havent thought of yet but centres around some sort or betrayal in the second movie) or finn (because hes her narrative foil and slow burn best friend forever) so her first friend is poe and she kind of follows him around in her first few months before she eventually bonds with finn 4eva. her poe shadowing has lots of cute friend moments where they fly together and he tries to talk her down about finn and the ben drama but also more importantly it foreshadows her leadership ability and tactical mind as she gives him advice and aids him with the rebellion behind the scenes (also leads to leia taking rey under her wing probably because poe is her surrogate son and mirror) which will eventually lead to her and poe leading the republic together because in my mind rey is a jedi but actively a member of republic government because ben can’t do politics and finn won’t but shes great at it so she’d be a perfect jedi liason and vice president to poe. meanwhile finn and ben lead the jedi. finn as a knight travelling across the galaxy and ben as a teacher. (luke is happy in retirement rn on mandalore but leia is still probably an advisor in the republic because retirement is definitely not for her) and everyone is happy the end. force ghost han solo is clapping.

[yourclumsyguardianangel]

the seven + a few others future headcanons

percy:

becomes a high school teacher

teaches high school marine biology (idk how it is in other schools but when we hit sophomore year we got to choose different bio classes ie: marine bio, ag bio, med bio + regular bio)

also teaches the mythology elective and is the swim team coach

annabeth:

we already know this queen is an architect with obvious inspiration from greek architecture

learns how to make blue food for percy and their kids from sally

has traveled all over the world looking at different architecture

learns the basics of many languages so shes able to communicate with the locals

her and leo team up to build a small school near camp half-blood for year rounders so everyone can learn consistently but dw they get summers off

piper:

love her but shes a nepo baby

she doesnt act like it tho

”are you tristan mcleans daughter?” “who?”

loves her dad to bits but does not like being seen out in public by the paparazzi

marries shel, they dont have kids tho, neither of them want to bring any into the world especially with america’s downfall and the government erasing women and poc rights

is basically leos big sister atp

leo:

him and calypso dont last, maybe a year and a half in they split bc calypso wants to explore the world and leo is very emotionally unstable and calypso has a hard time understanding

they end on good terms but dont ever talk unless its with a group of friends

he goes into a trade to become a mechanic and owns his own shop

starts smoking cigarettes/vaping

his friends dont really approve but they understand he cant quit just yet as hes not in a mental space to do so

goes to therapy with a psychologist whos a demigod that specializes in grieving and war trauma

they all go to therapy but hes the last one to do it

he’s still the ‘happy go lucky’ guy hes always been but as he gets closer w the others they start to see the true sadness in him

piper and him grow a lot closer after jason died and have a big sister little brother relationship

hazel:

my girl stays at camp jupiter

takes nicos place at camp

horse trainer

her and frank also dont work out as a romantic relationship, they felt that the age gap was too much after frank turned 18 and hazel was 15 theyre still friends tho

hazel often visits leo in his shop

as much as leo reminds her of sammy, through therapy she has recognized that theyre separate people and to not push all her past feelings for sammy onto leo

not only does she train horses but she also teaches little kids basic math, science, and history to the younger kids

they all call her ms. hazel

she prefers to teach the really young kids (age 4-7)

wears her hair in different braid styles after BOO

frank:

my friggin HOMIE

i relate to frank a lot personality wise

therefore i think hed be a 4/20 fanatic after BOO

hes not stoned during training or during important camp duties

but otherwise you try talkin to him and you dont really notice until you look and see the far off look and red eyes and he just goes “huh?”

other than that hes a great leader

after he gets his cool new look from mars he takes really good care of his body including consistent exercise and eating really healthily (maybe he has a soft spot for fast food when hes hi)

him joining the military does not make sense to me

he lost his mom to war, and he was in one himself, idk about you but i would not wanna join the military after being the main character in a war

he studies to be a veterinarian for exotic animals

when no one is around he shifts into the animal to find out whats wrong

”dr. zhang prefers to work by himself” “why” “idk but hes always right, if it aint broke dont fix it”

jason:

rip home-slice

nico:

my other homie

my guy does not get taller than 5’8

stays at camp during the summer to train the new and old kids

him and will get a house together

teaches history at the camp school

cat dad (5 cats and counting)

will:

takes nicos last name when they marry bc its cooler

him being a doctor doesnt click w me i more picture him being an EMT

EMTs are hotter anyways

does med training with new apollo kids whenever he gets time

if he’s not busy during working hours he drops by nicos classroom w his fav drink from dutch bros (starbucks is MID) and hangs out with him and his students

[dragonnyy]

alright, i’ve been holding onto this for a while as i wrote it a few months back, but im not really in the fandom anymore and i dont want to finish this as i originally planned to break it up into 3 parts (in the forms of act 1, 2 and 3) but i dont have the.. *anything* to do that. so, i'm going to post most of what i have of act 1, seeing as i won't finish it and i do not want this to go to waste lol so enjoy if anyone wants to continue this (i doubt it) lmk, i really dont care as long as credit is given

DEFAULT DARK URGE X READER (TAV): ACT 1

good aligned playthrough, spoilers for act 1 ahead here (obviously) tav is more of a ‘sweet and caring’ type of person, fyi 😕

You both met right after the nautiloid crash, on the beach. You spotted him facing away from you, seeming discombobulated and disoriented. Seeing the opportunity for any help, you approached and greeted him enthusiastically.

To you, he was another survivor; a potential friend who could help you get out of this mess.

To him, you were just another sheep among all others, your soul to be eventually ripped and shredded from this world one way or another. He wants to rip you apart as the bloodthirsty, vicious wolf, to make you bleed and shriek by his accursed hands. At least, that is what his mind tells him - His own flayed heart feels different. He is confused as to why it is this way, or better yet, who he even is, but he stays vaguely quiet about it for now.

Your minds lock together, as yours did with Shadowheart and Lae’zel just earlier – you sense something hungry, locked deep inside of you, yet you know not what. You are confused, puzzled, but there’s more to it than that.

He groans, rubbing his fingers on his skull in an attempt to ease the pounding blood in his head. You explain that it’s the tadpole’s doing, and you then introduce yourself. He reciprocates, but takes a pause as if deciding on a name, and subsequently landed on ‘Durge.’ It was a strange name, but you didn’t judge. You invited him along on your journey to seek out a healer, and seeing as he had no other choice, he accepted.

As he travels with you, it’s easy to tell something in his head has been twisted, other than what the tadpole might have affected. looking into his eyes deep enough gives you the sensation as if they contain a malicious hunger deep inside them – he perks at the slightest mention of anything within the nature of obscene violence, and it’s almost like he changes into someone completely different during combat. You sense that the nautiloid wasn’t the only unfortunate occurrence he’s suffered, but you didn’t want to pry now, so you decided to yourself you’d stay quiet until he’d ever wanted to confide in you, assuming you two would be able to get that far.

When you make it to the grove, you stumble upon the cutest squirrel you’ve ever seen! You kneel down and admire it, holding a hand out to it before it bites your finger. You recoil and curse under your breath, not even able to react before Durge straight up kicks it splat into a tree. His eyes go wide and he glances around as if some invisible entity were responsible for this incident, seemingly perplexed that he could be the one to do something like that. Your other companions go wide-eyed as well, taking a subtle step away from him. You figure that now may be a good time to ask him about, well, his wellbeing.

You question him, not wanting to pry too much out of respect, but also curious about whatever just happened. You make a funny comment about needing protection from things other than squirrels, but he doesn’t laugh with you. You correct your tone and ask sympathetically, is everything all right?

He answers honestly. No. He’s not alright. He confesses he has amnesia – he does not remember who he is, and his mind is just spinning with what feels like a raging headache.

You lay a hand on his shoulder, attempting to console him to your best effort, to which he smiles softly and expresses his appreciation for it. You offer a healing potion to see if that might make him feel better, but he declines. He assures you that he just needs some time to adapt to his condition. He should be fine as long as he takes it easy, for now.

There are more various encounters you note over the course of a few long rests, such as the Arabella incident. You always take a glance at him once in a while, to see if he has that crazed look in his eye. Usually he does, but you can tell he tries to subdue whatever is inside of him. You start to quietly question yourself about who he is – could he be lying about his amnesia? No, surely not. He seems genuinely befuddled. There is definitely more to his situation than amnesia. You sympathize. You want to help him, somehow.

You and Durge grow closer together, over time. He deeply appreciates how you show your concern for him, and he expresses that. You could soon call yourself friends after knowing him only a few days to a week. He was always by your side on your adventures, attached right to the hip. You were the person he was most comfortable around, so far.

You enjoyed his presence as much as he did yours. He was mostly quiet, but you of course didn’t mind. He was smart, and he listened to you, and valued your comfort just as much as you valued his. He respected you, and you respected him in turn.

And that’s where feelings grew. A fondness resonated between you two, and you felt safe in his presence, despite how intimidating he may stand out to be. But that only increased your attraction for him. Even better, he was gentle with you. It feels like you had unlocked a secret softness inside of him, reserved only for someone like you, which made you feel very accomplished.

On his end, he was distraught. Overwhelmed by this emotion. At first, he recognized his fondness for you, but hadn’t seen it as a romantic emotion. The thought hadn’t even so much as brushed against his mind. But now? He is in such denial, and so many confusing feelings are buzzing around his head that he could not even comprehend or interpret. It is as if his bitter heart were never made to dispense emotions such as this. He doesn’t even know how to feel about it. Is this a good emotion for him? He doesn’t know. He has never recognized the soft feelings he gets when he’s near you. For now, he tries to learn how to live with them, if he cannot decipher them, hoping these may go away soon. Unfortunately, they only get worse.

Just as much as he recognizes his feelings for you, the urge only grapples its talons on you like a target. Two halves of him either want to kill you, or protect you. Seeing as you’re still alive, he’s doing a better job at protecting you, but whatever deplorable evil is inside him scares him. He knows, beyond any doubt, it will unleash chaos within him, sooner or later.

As a result of the urge to both keep you alive and kill you, he tries to spare at least a bit of distance from you. He moves his tent all the way to the other side of camp, away from you and everyone else. He purposely lags behind, just a bit, whilst you’re exploring. He stays away from you in combat, using his sorcery on enemies from afar. He slightly avoids you, just in the hopes it will keep you a little bit safer.

Thankfully, you don’t seem to notice. Until it gets worse. He seems to grow only more and more distant to you every day and you’ve been noticing it for the past week, and you don’t know why. It gets to the point where he only speaks in short monosyllabic words to you, if not outright ignoring you. He even stays in camp most of the time, refusing to come along with you anymore. Did you do something wrong? No, you can’t think of anything you could’ve done recently to upset him. Perhaps he just needs space, and you can understand that. But still, you want to know. So you ask him, on the night you prepare to raid the goblin camp with your other companions.

It doesn’t go as well as you would’ve wanted it to. When you approach him and sit next to him, he blatantly ignores you as if you were not there. You start speaking, expressing your concerns about him, until he snaps at you. He argues with you, telling you that you wouldn’t understand. You let him yell at you until he’s done. You say nothing, and try to lean in for a hug, but he pushes you away. You tell him that you care about him, and you want to help him. You sympathize with him; you want to help him find out who he was as well. You then wish him a silent goodnight and head to your tent. You don’t see him come out of his tent the next morning.

He feels remorseful for pushing you away, but if it is what he has to do to keep you safe, then so be it. He wants to be near you, but he doesn’t want to hurt you. He tries to fall asleep quickly afterwards to avoid the guilt, but he can barely sleep thinking about you. And when slumber does take him, he’s only tortured by more gorey nightmares. And of course, they are of you.

The next day, you left to raid the goblin camp, and emerged victorious. You returned to the grove to inform Zevlor, and he rewarded you gratefully for your effort. He asked you if he and the tieflings could throw a party at your camp, and you, being the generous hero who initially saw no problem with that, accepted.

Everything was great. You were celebrating your victory. Everyone seemed to be having fun, and you mingled happily with your companions. But you noticed that someone was missing… Until you realized that you hadn’t seen Durge anywhere. You asked all your companions if they’d seen if he went somewhere, and Astarion observed that he “saw him slink into the woods.” You thanked Astarion before he could interject you, and ran off into the woods with a torch. (Unless you have darkvision.)

It wasn’t hard to find him, considering how bright his scales were, glistening in the bright moon above. He sat on a log facing away from you; to the lake, gazing at the moon. You quietly sat next to him, and he slightly flinched, as if lost in thought and then taken by surprise.

You greeted him normally, and he reciprocated.

You couldn’t bear this anymore. You admitted to yourself in the moment, you felt something intimate for him. You couldn’t bear having him push you away anymore. You wanted him to open up, so you started to confess your worries about him. You knew there was something else about him. Something diabolical, writhing within, something that he harboured inside. You wanted to help him, but you didn’t know how unless he opened up to you. You reassured him, he didn’t have to now, but you just needed to know what was happening, why he was pushing you away?

He takes a deep breath, before explaining it to you in the best way he could. He disclosed to you about the urge. Something inside of him continuously filled his head with dreadful thoughts that he seemed to be somehow desensitized to. He looked at you with fear in his eyes as he expressed how he knew, deep inside, something bad was destined to happen because of this urge, and he was frightened of it.

You inquired him; why push you away?

He hesitated before answering, but filled his words with emotion: “Because I care about you.”

He avoids eye contact, embarrassed, as you absorb his words. He expects you to get up and leave, to turn your back on him, and tell him you wish never to see him again.

Yet you lay a hand on his bare shoulder, giving him the most doting smile he’d ever seen as you comfort him. You will get through this with him, and you will get to the bottom of this.

Even as he exposes the truth of his vile nature to you, you still look at him the same way you did before. You didn’t see him as a monster. And that’s when he admitted to himself, as well, he loved you without consequence.

He’s taken aback when you lean in for a kiss, but he doesn’t pull away, his body acting on its own accord. You quickly pull away, a blush corroding your cheeks. You apologize, but before you can say anything else, he gently caresses your cheek and leans in for another kiss.

You spend a few minutes in silence together, subtly placing your hand over his as you admire the scenery of the lake together, leaning your head on his shoulder.

In this moment, he forgets about everything. The tadpole, the absolute, the fear he holds onto… Everything. But the urge is still there, always. It sickens him like a parasite dug deep into his soul, far worse than the tadpole.

You face him and smile, offering to head back to camp and get a good night’s rest. He accepts, and you walk back to camp together, hand in hand, as you spend some time in his tent reading books together, talking, or just sitting together, for a good hour or two.

You yawn, feeling drowsy, and rub your eyes. You bid him a goodnight as you walk back to your tent, and he smiles, feeling the warmth in his chest bloom, embracing it. He was still afraid of hurting you, but now, less so. He fell asleep that night dreaming about you. Not in the pleasant way most would expect, but he was used to it by now.

fin. this is probably going to be discontinued. again lmk if anyone wants to continue this for me or smth

[throwaway-yandere]

The Owner Who Broke The Leash (Yandere!Kamisato Ayato/Reader)

a/n: this is a chainsaw man au but I tried writing it so that you don't need to be an anime/manga reader (suffer with me.) I'm not 100% following the source material, so Beidou and Kazuha are platonic & no mother-child themes the orig has people debate over. I won't be explaining the latter to those who did not understand lmao. (Y/n)'s 20 years old. This is just a yandere fic, relax hehe. also, huge shoutout to @navxry for beta reading, their insights were helpfull!!! and also shoutout because honestly nothing is more fulfulling like seeing a live commentary of roasting the yanderes and for some reason, my husband too sorry dain-

cw: yandere themes and degrading nicknames ("dog"), and dont read while eating ig?

unreliable synopsis: "Thank you, Mr. Kamisato," (Y/n) mumbled. "It's just... I'm still pretty pissed by what happened. I had an absolute shit first kiss–"

Kamisato Ayato questioned whether he had a heart in his head because, on occasion, it beats louder than the one cradled by his ribs. Or perhaps he's just grown incredibly susceptible to human emotions– or in this scenario: "headaches." Then again, in a world where 7 out of every 20 Inazuman citizens are killed by Devils in a concerningly short duration, is it really surprising that Ayato would experience such distress?

The Public Safety Devil Hunters have often questioned their limits throughout the years. Many of them have hardened themselves into pawns who seek glorified kinds of justice and retribution with the limited and declining manpower they have. As a result, they needed people like Kamisato Ayato, a mystifying man who presented himself as a gregarious yet reticent individual regarded either with respect or distaste. 

Only a few people have gone insane, which he and the captain of Division 4, Dainsleif, considered to be regrettable. They both had a strong conviction that complete sanity was inappropriate for a devil hunter. The rational and sensible are not in demand in this profession. Only those who have lost their sense of humanity can remain alive with their limbs intact. Many disputed Dainsleif's claims, questioning how could they be true. And to this, he answered:

"What does sanity truly mean when demanded of you by a Devil?"

Unfortunately, not many people understood the significance of that puzzling question, and even if they did, they rejected this way of thinking. Losing one's sanity is equivalent to losing what kept many alive–

And then…

There's (Y/n).

"Holy shiiiiiit!!!" (Y/n) spat out with their mouth full as they gouged the poor leftover traces of udon from the bowl, fully savoring what drops can be salvaged. They tilted their wrist and licked the remaining noodles, which made Mr. Kamisato's associates raise an eyebrow. Their unbrushed hair would sometimes cover their eyes, making them appear more monstrous and feral.

That was enough to know that in an instant, (Y/n) was endowed with a life that was blessed— at least, in physiological matters.

Despite their disheveled clothes and messy hair, anyone would've mistaken them for a somewhat functional human being. Ayato was quite pleased to dress them up after finding them bloodied and dazed. Not that the zombie devil was ever considered a formidable foe, but seeing the Chainsaw Devil in action is enough grounds for fascination, yes?

The Chainsaw Devil… What name does his "family" go by nowadays? What does the "Fixer of Hell" do around this era?

And why did he form a contract with this… mess of a human being? Why did the Chainsaw Devil agree to become this person's heart replacement?

Why didn't the devil let them perish?

Kamisato Ayato has been dying to know–

"Is this what you devil hunters eat every day?" (Y/n) gawked at him, who was snapped back to reality by their childlike antics. "Seems pretty fucking worth it to me. Those jackasses must be ripping me off if I did the same work for less than, what, two eighty percent? I don't know jack-shit about math, though. Unless it's about calculating debt."

"Is that right?"

When (Y/n) eliminated the Zombie Devil, the public safety officer was able to locate the "dog" in person. Fortunately, he just so happened to know that there was a devil in the vicinity and saw (Y/n) covered in blood. Surely, finding out that the Chainsaw Devil became (Y/n)'s heart via a contract was a mere coincidence in Mr. Kamisato's perspective. He's a cunning being, but not omnipotent, yes?

"Duh," their nose scrunched. "Gotta pay my dead dad's debt somehow. The sins of the Father are the sins of the... I forgot the rest of the line."

"Hmm."

To say (Y/n) is the… most entertaining person is the understatement of the decade. They exude none of the dignity of an ordinary civilian when bringing up their lack of rudimentary mathematical abilities and literary knowledge. Like a child who was isolated in their room for so long, (Y/n) was the type of clumsily put-together person you wouldn't expect to pique Ayato's interest. 

Yet here he is, answering them with something far from a business smile.

Ayato was entertained by their awkwardly talkative behavior and flushed cheeks.

(Y/n) has a crush on him. He's certain.

He can make use of that.

"We take care of our workers, yes," Ayato smoothly replied. His gaze did not falter away from the more-than-exploited hybrid. Hidden behind his stare was an obsession he had yet to add a label to. There's a strangely human urge for him to wipe the stray noodle off their chin.

They failed to see his soft gaze and continued to mindlessly ask nonsensical questions.

"P-Peanut butter and jelly too?"

"If they so desired it. I do not see why they cannot afford to buy some with their paycheck."

"Woah."

They looked incredibly amazed, if not, pathetically deprived. It made Ayato even more curious– just what life was this poor dog living if they craved incredibly simple joys?

And… peanut butter? Was that ever considered peak luxury? What a miserable life. Dead mother, murdered father– and a poor heart condition to match. He'll never consider their living conditions humane.

"Dog," Ayato thought to himself. "Positively a dog."

So faithful. So easily handled. 

Just as the Public Safety Devil Hunter had hoped for.

Humans are strange creatures and even more challenging to please. Ayato noticed that people attract others when they're unfortunate yet not far enough where they're "beyond saving". Balancing that fine line is a hindrance. Humans strive for authenticity but retreat when it causes discomfort— running away from the empty or broken bits that reflect their innermost selfish beliefs. These people will probe for trauma and unfavorable emotions to relate to, but won't exert control to change or challenge the speaker. 

They want a "palatable" story– a "marketable" person.

Kamisato Ayato didn't enjoy how hypocritical humanity is. Perhaps that's why he connected with (Y/n) instantaneously. 

Because (Y/n) was no longer human.

They're a devil-human hybrid. There's nothing for (Y/n) to mask, and most importantly, they're so damn easy to please.

Ayato glanced at his wristwatch. 

It's nearly time for tea with his fellow commissioners.

He closed his eyes and sighed softly. There was no latent vitriolic expression on his face, but that did not mean Ayato cared for his colleagues deeply.

They're all dogs in his eyes.

"Let us depart, (Y/n)."

And (Y/n) might be the best one yet.

Mr. Kamisato stood up and ruffled their hair.

"Come. Be a good dog and perhaps I'll spoil you with as many treats as you desire."

—-------------------

"Holy shit…" (Y/n) muttered to themselves.

"Today, I'm going to experience my first kiss ever…"

"Oh, a kiss you say?"

"M-Mister Kamisato?!"

It's been a while since Mr. Kamisato saw (Y/n), and they exude a brighter aura than before.

He's not pretentious enough to say (Y/n) had grown so much since he last saw them. There are qualities to them (he wouldn't say redeemable) that Ayato was certain weren't there in the past. After assigning them as Kaedehara Kazuha's subordinate and roommate, (Y/n) rehabilitated to the norms of public safety devil hunters. There were some setbacks, including the time they refused to kill a devil because they were naive enough to consider them as friends. But here they were, inside a busy restaurant after a month of dispatching (Y/n) to their new job– new life.

And won't you look at that?

Ayato's gaze softened as it sank in how much his influence had changed them over the months.

They… look radiant, don't they?

(Y/n) stood up, shocked that the refined public safety officer would be joining them. No one told them that he was invited. The rest of Division 4 followed suit, extending their pleasantries to their superior. The only exception was Beidou, who spoke nothing as she continued chugging her beer. Ayato greeted them and gracefully slipped away from his black cloak and placed it on the chair.

They remained standing until Ayato reached out and ruffled their hair.

"Sit."

And so they did.

Mr. Kamisato's grin widened.

"Good dog." He said.

…

Good dog…?

For a moment, the world was on mute for Mr. Kamisato.

And in that personal silence, he pondered to himself:

Why does he care so much about a dog?

It matters not since they will always remain a dog in his eyes. The day he stops calling them a dog and treating them as one is the day he'll forget about the "Fixer of Hell."

"(Y/n)..."

Ayato turned to look at the woman who moaned.

Beidou was one of his favorite dog's new coworkers alongside Kazuha, Kaveh, Al Haitham, the blood-fiend Arataki "Numero Uno" Itto, and the rest. Unlike the aforementioned four, Beidou often regarded Ayato as a "manipulative bastard" while her long-time partner, Kazuha, felt that there is a certain level of melancholy about him that they repeatedly failed to comprehend. Kazuha had a better sense of the world than his dear old eye-patched friend, but even he finds Ayato unpredictable.

Ayato doesn't mind her hostility and their wariness, not when they took great care of his pet on their latest mission. 

Yet, he's holding back a glare.

"(Y/nnnnnn)..."

He doesn't appreciate the way her hand repeatedly traveled down his dog's thigh.

"H-Hey, you're d-drunk–" (Y/n) kept "discreetly" glancing at Ayato, worried. "Q-Quit it! Y-You're making me uncomfortable, man–"

"Shhhhh!" Beidou hushed in a low and seductive tone. 

"Just wait, (Y/n), I give better kisses when I'm far from sober."

Ayato's eye twitched.

How intriguing.

"W-WH-WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!!–"

"Your reward for killing the Eternity Devil, you scallywag~" She hiccupped, red-faced. "Kiss, with tongue, re-mem-ber?"

Mr. Kamisato closed his eyes, clenching his fists beneath the table as his colleagues drank and ate to their hearts' content. She's drunk. She'll likely regret those words tomorrow.

For a moment, he wished he could drown himself in Kaveh's talks about wearing his father's hand-me-downs or staying in Public Safety for the paycheck. Or maybe hone in on how Itto kept adding zeros to his IQ when asked. 

But his whole being was focused on this peculiar conversation.

Suppose a lonesome dog will latch on to any attention it will get.

"K-Kiss…" (Y/n) squeaked.

Don't be so overjoyed.

Ayato desperately wanted to say.

Can't you tell that between the two of us, it's me who you would choose in a heartbeat?

"Who's kissing who now?" Ayato raised his hand, calling for the waiter while staring at the morally conflicted (Y/n). "A glass, please."

(Y/n) paused, not looking at both Ayato and Beidou. They were deep in thought, assessing the situation as though it was their most life-threatening moment. 

Good.

They perked up again, somewhat sweating.

"U-Uh, Mr. Kamisato! H-Have you heard? I found an important metal-piece thing and grabbed it!"

Ayato no longer held back a defeated sigh and clenched his fists under the table.

… Disappointing. 

So they have chosen to ignore his confrontation instead of turning down Beidou's advances. Shame. Ayato's face contorted, but no one noticed his dismay other than Kaveh, who did not know what to make of it at the time.

"Yes, I have, and what fine news it was indeed. Excellent work. Oh, to have been a fly in the wall..."

Seeing as that "piques" his interest, Kazuha leaned his elbows on the table.

"While we're on the topic, Mister Kamisato…" 

Kazuha proceeded to add more to the subject, calmly stating all the information and inferences the group had acquired after the last mission. The "metal-piece" thing (Y/n) found was a portion of the Gun Devil, and Kazuha blabbered about how it appeared that (Y/n) had been targeted by many devils.

"–somehow (Y/n) is at the crux of everything. You know something that we do not, right Mister Kamisato?"

It's only natural for Kazuha to act this way. (Y/n) had no formal training yet fought the Eternity Devil for three days without rest. They had even utilized the Chainsaw Devil's ("Thoma" was its new name) power to torture them nonstop. Devils regenerate by drinking blood so they grained the Eternity devil regularly, yelling and taunting it like a maniac. So in Kazuha's conclusion, (Y/n) was not only stranger than they suppose; they are stranger than they can suppose.

Division 4's and Ayato's main objective is to hunt this "Gun Devil", but there's no need to mind such trifles. At least Makoto is dead. That's one battle won.

Ayato gazed at Kazuha, then his drink.

"What an interesting notion. How about a game?" Ayato placed a finger on his lip. "What do they call this… was it called hot pot? Hmm… No matter." 

"The mechanics of the game is to outdrink your opponent," Ayato smiled. "Will you accept this duel?"

As if on time, Beidou placed her empty glass down, making Kazuha just a bit more confident to take the risk. Kazuha nodded.

"Excuse me! Two sakes, please!"

Beidou, who would've normally banned Kazuha from drinking because of his height and not his adult age, yelled on top of her tops.

"HE-HE-HEYYY!!! MAKE IT THREEEE!!! I'LL PLAY THE DAMN GAME TOO!!!"

"MORE SASHIMI!!! THERE BETTER NOT BE A BEAN MIXED IN THERE!!!" Itto demanded soon after.

"I-I'd take a plate of sweet potatoes and cheese, please!" Kaveh humbly requested, fixing his red hairclips.

"HEY WAIT, ME TOO!!! MORE TEMPURA TOO!!!" (Y/n) followed, causing Al Haitham to cover his ears. 

Ayato smirked, drinking his mug. He already knows how this will end.

—--------------

Just a few drinks in, Kazuha proved his humanity by slowly fluttering his eyes to sleep.

Both Kazuha and Beidou failed to defeat Ayato in his game, albeit the latter wasn't trying their best. The others lost focus on the match when they knew Ayato had secured victory the moment he gave the mechanics. It's hopeless. Even a newbie such as the salt-and-pepper haired man knew it was a battle whose result had long been decided. 

"Excuse me, sir," Ayato smiled, smug. "May I have another drink, please?"

Mr. Kamisato retrieved his umpteenth beer, eager to take a sip but as soon as he had it in his hands, that woman chimed in again. 

She kissed them.

…

"... Goodness," Ayato muttered emptily.

That bold woman kissed what's his.

Ayato shook his head slightly, drinking his glass with a malicious glint in his eyes. As that woman aggressively thrust her tongue inside (Y/n)'s mouth, his dog shook, peering over the unimpressed Mr. Kamisato. He made it known to them that he was not pleased by this front-row display of "affection", but (Y/n) made little effort to stop it. He heard her moan and scrutinized the way she yanked their collar to deepen the "kiss", closing all distance between them.

He could've sworn the mug cracked a bit so he loosened his hold. Mr. Kamisato had felt another "headache" settling in as he watched that filth violate his pet with perverse pleasure. He snarled quietly.

What a low-quality "treat".

"Is this what you call a reward?" Ayato muttered. 

She must taste horrible. 

His (Y/n) must feel horrible.

Surely they wouldn't enjoy being taken by another person? 

Yet they're melting in her arms. 

Ayato scoffed.

What an unpleasant sight.

He felt... unsettled and restless.

Suddenly, they pulled away. Ayato was almost impressed (relieved) until he saw the reason behind (Y/n)'s distress. That kiss was disgusting, and everyone at that table will reasonably agree on that after seeing what had happened to (Y/n).

"HAHAHAHAHA!" The blood fiend laughed heartily. "IT'S IN THEIR MOUTH!!! IT'S IN THEIR MOUTH!!!"

That disgusting acidic liquid…

Itto elbowed Al Haitham beside him.

"AND YA BOYS KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN ANYTHING NUTRITIOUS GETS INSIDE (Y/N)'S MOUTH?!?"

Mr. Kamisato stood up and immediately pulled (Y/n) away from Beidou, pampering their lips with tissues and scrubbing the remains of that wench. His eyes sharpened as (Y/n) leaned into his touch, trembling while grabbing his white dress shirt. Ayato ignored how he would've normally felt a twinge of disgust over the stains they left on his clothes and gently cradled them; his focus now aimed at Beidou– disregarding how the other members laughed or visibly shivered at the sight.

… it's puke.

"THEY SWALLOW IT!!!"

Ayato's eyelids lowered as he heard (Y/n) gulped Beidou's vomit involuntarily, cringing while sobbing– gagging. Itto's laughter drowns out any sounds of concern. (Y/n) hands flew to their throat, clawing to spit everything out as the others watched. 

Is this… what people call "headaches"?

How dare she.

She dared not only steal his dog's first kiss but also dared to vomit inside them. Beidou had publicly disrespected what was under his control.

His eyes were emptier than before.

Unacceptable.

He did not fail to notice the others in the room as well. Kazuha jolted up awake at the commotion and searched for a tissue immediately. Some watched out of morbid curiosity like Al Haitham, while there’s people who nervously laughed without knowing what to do like Kaveh, and the rest hollered with the blood fiend. 

The last category was filled with employees who had been in the department long enough to know Beidou’s antics. As one of them had told (Y/n) before the party started, Beidou had kissed nearly everyone in the room they’re in already when drunk. Couple that fact with how these colleagues have most of their sanity stripped away and live their lives unhinged, and you got yourself a group of people who no longer processes traumatic events as it is. To them, this is comedy.

The superior Public Safety Devil Hunter shifted his glare to them, effectively halting their laughter.

Mr. Kamisato will be keeping an eye on them.

He knows their names and their faces.

“Tch.”

Ayato roughly dabbed their mouth, cooing at his traumatized (Y/n) as the others looked out for Beidou. (Y/n)'s hands remained locked on their esophagus as if pushing out the last remaining toothpaste from the tube. Pitiable. And somehow, for ones with a sadistic inclination as he does, charming–

No.

Get it out.

Get it all out without hurting what's his.

Scrub every last trace of that woman out of them.

Mr. Kamisato let go of the tissue and brought his thumb against (Y/n)'s lips. Their breath hitched as his ministrations differed greatly from before. Instead of something so intense and near degrading, the way Ayato wiped the stains was warm. Intimate.

Yet Ayato's permanent polite smile betrayed his thoughts.

Blindfolds. Hands. Kneel. Blindfolds. Hands. Kneel.

Squish.

He closed his eyes.

Ayato did not care for whatever happens to Beidou next– she can get killed by a devil next week for all he cares– but he will not allow anything of this sort to occur ever again.

"Oh, my dearest (Y/n)," this time, he smiled not to seem normal but to comfort. And such a genuine gesture scared Ayato deep down. "Allow me to help you get it off your system, okay?"

Finally, their coworkers fully acknowledged (Y/n)'s plight. Kazuha was the first to lend his handkerchief, something Ayato made a mental note of. Kaveh turned around instead. The hairs in the blonde's arms certainly stood the straightest. In response, Al Haitham rolled his eyes over how squirmish his fellow recruit was.

"I have a grandmother who often vomits, perhaps–" 

Kaveh immediately cut off Al Haitham, "Wait, you're actually volunteering to help?"

He shrugged. "No, I was merely offering advice on how to–"

Ayato snapped.

"I'll take care of this. Alone."

Ayato's grip on (Y/n) tightened, pulling them close to his chest protectively. He can sense them eager to cough out the vile shoved down their throat but sweetly, he will not give a damn if they released all that in his chest. Ayato led their head on his shoulder. His hand ran through their scalp, soothing them.

Every decision Kamisato Ayato makes is final.

He needn't hear more of their so-called input.

They don't need you.

His (Y/n) does not need ANY of you.

Slowly, Ayato tilted the nauseous (Y/n)'s chin.

"You'll let me take control, won't you, love?"

They nodded, tears in the corner of their eyes. Charmingly weak. A reflection of their humanity. The humanity Ayato did not care about for so long.

"Good do–" Ayato stopped himself.

"Good," he chuckled. "Just good. Now, follow me to the restroom."

He didn't let (Y/n) interact with anyone else that night.

—----------

That incident occurred yesterday, and it was still fresh in their memory. 

(Y/n) had been especially gloomy as of late and had been ordered to never talk to Beidou until permitted by Mr. Kamisato. Instead of staying at Kazuha's apartment with Itto, Ayato made arrangements so that they'll have a room in his government-owned apartment. The man from then on refuses to let them out unless a mission requires them. It rattled (Y/n). In a sense, they were like a dog caged for a vase they did not break. 

Like most mistreated dogs, they whined silently. Which were sounds that never go unnoticed by caring owners. 

And all caring owners will prioritize their pets more than their phone ringing.

Ayato immediately muted his phone.

42 missed calls from Mr. Kaedehara, 36 from Ms. Beidou, and 11 from Kaveh.

He swiped their text notifications all away and faced it down on the table.

"(Y/n), my dear," Ayato began in a soft voice as he set down his boba tea and the take-out for tonight's meal. "Something troubles you. Though you may not wish to share at the moment, know that I am here for you should you ever need an ear."

(Y/n) looked up with gratitude in their eyes. Although they were not vocal about it like they usually are, they did not expect Mr. Kamisato to be perceptive and kind enough to acknowledge their demeanor.

"Thank you, Mr. Kamisato," (Y/n) mumbled. "It's just... I'm still pretty pissed by what happened. I had an absolute shit first kiss–"

They sobbed, voice cracking.

"–and even if I kiss a bunch of other women or guys in the future, I'll probably never get that taste of vomit off my mind, won't I?"

The room went quiet, and Ayato's shoulders dropped at their pitiful sounds.

He retrieved his cup of boba milk tea on the table again and silently placed it in front of (Y/n), aligning the straw in the direction of their lips.

"I understand," Ayato replied. "Sometimes, wounds of the heart take time to heal. But remember, there is a chance to create beautiful memories within every setback. Now open your mouth."

With a sigh, they took a sip of the boba milk tea, the taste of blueberry cheesecake tantalizing their tastebuds. (Y/n) relaxed, the tension in their body dissipating. However, as if urged to see their discomfort yet again out of perverse pleasure, Ayato spoke once more.

"You will likely never erase the taste of vomit in your mind for all eternity."

(Y/n)'s eyebrows furrowed.

"However," Ayato cupped their cheek, forcing them to share his gaze.

"Now that you will forever live with me, you will have the chance to taste a wide variety of new flavors to the point you will never have to recall that unpleasant taste again." 

As they savored the comforting flavor, Ayato's eyes twinkled mischievously, and a small smile tugged at his lips. He chuckled. 

"And I would like you to take notice, (Y/n)," he began playfully, "that this delightful boba tea we're sharing is the taste of your first indirect kiss."

Surprised, (Y/n) messily choked on their drink, spluttering the content in their white shirt as embarrassment colored their cheeks red. Ayato chuckled softly, reaching out to pat (Y/n)'s back gently as they recovered.

That adorable expression. It beats that of a dog.

Their blush is human.

(Y/n) is human.

As (Y/n) wiped the sweet taste on their lips, they couldn't help but feel a newfound sense of hope, knowing that Mr. Kamisato will be there for them. Their lingering disappointment remains, that much is certain, but it will disappear in time. (Y/n) drank until the cup was emptied. It was a symbol of Mr. Kamisato's promise to make the taste of puke a distant memory and that–

In the end, everything will be alright.

He likes them. He's certain.

(Y/n) can make use of him.

Give Mr. Kamisato a chance, dearest (Y/n).

He'll add Ms. Beidou's death to his list of things to check off in your next assignment. 

Not only that, of course. She won’t be the only one that’ll keep him busy. He has not forgotten the faces of those who laughed at you during your dilemma. 

Maybe once the officer reassigns them all to a more… enthralling location, he’ll get a more satisfactory answer to the question:

"What does sanity truly mean when demanded of you by a Devil?"

[skaiplana]

Read Harrow the Ninth. Went insaner. Read As Yet Unsent. Shitpost and thoughts:

- God's name is John. He makes dad jokes.

- I am glad this is a universe where God can be: a) killed b) fucked. We have empirical evidence

- on that note, let's do dios apate minor three but make it a foursome with me baby. Let me get that ancient pussy and/or dick

- rip Mercymorn that woman served cunt was a cunt and talked!! In an amazing! Way!! Do you think she would fix my scoliosis?

- rip Augustine he was a cunt too. Trying to send god to hell is iconic. Of course Ianthe would kill him.

- Mercy and Augustine... they hated each other. They worked together to kill god. They had a suicide pact. They wanted to be burried next to each other. They died only a few minutes apart.

- Ianthe that gay little pathetic snake.

- CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN THE 'GALL ON GALL' JOKE I DONT GET IT

- GIDEON (2) IS BACK!!! NOW WITH MORE FUCKED UP PARENTAL ISSUES!!!

- is Gideon (2) biologically Mercy's or Wake's kid? I thought she was Wake's because everything Mercy made died but I've seen some people say otherwise

- so like. Wake is evil virgin Mary. Gideon (2) is space lesbian Jesus.

- Gideon (1) is OUT, Pyrra is IN! What that entails I do not know but she seems cooler than him

- how do you get in affair with a commander of your enemy. How do you not use a condom or like kill your sperm. Why were you afraid it's your kid Gideon (Pyrra?).

- when John asked if Harrow and Ianthe are using protection what did he mean. Is he implying that there is a possibility of pregnancy? Is he concerned about infections and stds? They could just cure those? Is he saying that there are like dental dams somewhere on mithraeum

- Harrow. What can I say? She did a diy lobotomy. She's haunted. Every woman wants her. She's in love with a dead body. She made a soup out of her own bone and tried to murder someone with it. I want to hug her

- yk I'm starting to think that the Emperor Undying is a wretched liar a dick and a colonizer. Just a hunch.

- now I don't believe anything he's ever said and I'm thinking that Harrow probably did open the tomb

- Camilla is alive and well!!! Sex Pal is almost alive an fairly well!! Can we get him out of the bones

- Coronabeth is realizing how fucked up the nine houses are! Deuteros is not!

- Abigail!!! Magnus!!! I'm glad I got to see more of them. Abigail is actually so cool I want them to adopt me

- the actual Dulcinea! She's so cool too

- the alive Protesilaus being a poet udhdhehhehe and Ortus having internal beef with him

- Ortus is an interesting person now! Also the way everyone likes his poetry except for Harrow is peak comedy

- they actually summoned Nonius. Then he killed ghost Wake. Then they made a dnd party and went to to fight the Resurrection Beast and they WON I guess. These series is a comedy

- I actually understood everything most of the time except for some obscure words (please explain gall on gall tho)

[crystalandparrot]

The Hardest Trial: Pt. 2

Learning Curve

This is SUNSPOT!! Or how I envision her. She's wearing a clip on bow tie and shorts that are WAY too big on her. I named her Mary, but again, I'll keep it a reader insert if thats what the people want. I dont mind changing it.

It's been three years since Bill arrived in his current predicament: stuck roaming a family's house like a ghost with only the smallest human to actually talk to.

Sure it wasn't the same as talking to Sixer, but the questions never got boring. It turned out that not only could this child see him, they could interact with them. Bill could touch and be touched...unfortunately only by one person and that person was a child, but better than nothing. Bill had yet to discover if his powers grew over his time in this state or if he was simply relearning how to use them, but Bill began releasing small bits of power he did not have in the Mindscape previously. Bill could lift things, with about as much grace and strength as a Poltergeist run on molasses, but he could lift things!

Over his time in the past, Bill also realized something was drawing him back to this child. A magnet? A string? A pull of some kind always, always, ALWAYS, brought Bill back to her. He could travel as far as the city's boundary, then POOF back home. It was only annoying a few times, then Bill got the gist.

Bill found it odd just how much time the little Sunspot's parents spent with her, he was almost positive a normal set of parents was next to their child almost 24/7. But they seemed to avoid her! Heck, Bill was the one to potty train her. Bill took it upon himself to teach the kid how to be a less annoying human (to him at least), taking the time to teach them to talk in English, backwards English, and Latin (a fun trick at parties), he made sure they could walk, crawl, and crab/exorcist walk (also hilarious), and was even starting to teach them the alphabets! Y'know, the English alphabet, his alphabet, Sixer's code, and of course the Caesar Cipher alphabet (how could he not?). Over time Bill began to realize that he was having...fun? It was almost like making a mini version of him! And the best part was that Sunspot took to all of it like it was as easy as breathing! It's true what they say, kids are like sponges.

"Why do lizards grow back their tails?"

A voice startled Bill out of his thoughts and he glanced down at the four year old human sitting on the floor from his spot on the dresser — yes it was his spot. When he expressed pain (in a display of acting that would have absolutely won an award) in his back from the sleeping arrangements, the cute little Sunspot immediately made a makeshift bedroom with items around the house, two paper towel rolls, a ripped fishnet stocking she stole, and an empty jewelry box she dumped on the floor before giving to Bill (she made sure to keep the gold as per Bill's wishes). It was fitted with a small mirror, a netted hammock, and a small chest to put any items of his (he humored it for the kid, even though he can make anything appear with the snap of his fingers).

"It's so when predators try to eat them and grab their tail, they can just—" Bill snapped his fingers for emphasis and an image of a wiggling lizards' tail appeared next to him, "—pop it right off. Then its muscles spasm to trick the predator into thinking it's alive so it eats the tail instead of chasing the lizard."

The child looked up at Bill in wonder, "Can all of its body parts do that?"

Bill leaned forward with a gleeful expression, "Do you wanna find out?"

"I don't know what to do, sir. She was such a happy kid. Always laughing and giggling..."

"And then what?"

"Then...she started talking."

"That's typically normal for most toddlers—"

"You don't understand. She said her first word at ten months, then she never stopped talking. Always asking questions, but getting the answer before we told her, like she was testing us!"

"Then what?"

"Then it was...the games."

"Can you expand a little more on that?"

"She would claim her friend was asking her to do things. Like cutting off the arms and legs of a lizard, breaking glass to build a prism, throwing an aerosol can into the fire place —luckily the fire was dying out and we were able to take it out before something bad could happen."

"And who's this friend?"

"The same as her first word—Bill."

"Do you need to be extracted, agent?"

"No! No...no, sir. There's still some things to finish here."

"Fine. But you will be removed should anything detrimental occur, understand?"

"Yes, sir."

FINALLY! Lake day! Bill had been waiting a month for this! He had his inner tube ready and waiting for that lazy river, and it was time to relax. Being a dream demon to a four year old was hard work.

Bill lazily floated in his tube, the water moving in perfect circles around him. He kept his eye open slightly to keep an eye on everyone, but was otherwise relaxed. The little Sunspot was playing in the shallow water, picking up rocks and throwing them back into the water to try and hit the fish. Her parents were sitting underneath the open trunk door of their minivan, talking quietly and glancing at Sunspot briefly now and then.

"Bill! That fish has a mustache!!" Sunspot pointed at a Catfish swimming nearby in the tall grass.

"That's a Catfish, the mustache helps it taste." Bill educated calmly and shut his eye.

"Ooh, tasting mustache..."

Bill gave a small chuckle. Everything was peaceful and quiet...until—

SPLASH

Bill's eye flashed open and he looked around briefly to see what could have made the splash. The answer was found quickly when he saw a large, round boy standing over Sunspot, who was sitting in the water, soaking wet. Bill's body quickly flashed red before turning back to his signature yellow. With a snap, his swim trucks and baseball cap were replaced by his bowtie and top hat. Bill quickly flew over to the confrontation.

"Did this kid push you?" Bill asked the soaking child. Bill glanced over at her parents, who were still talking. She gently nodded, tears welling in her eyes. "Do you wanna do something about it?" Bill outstretched his hand, void of blue fire.

The little Sunspot thought for a moment, then grabbed Bill's hand.

"Aww, is the little baby gonna cry? Wah wah wah!" The bully taunted, his group of patsy's giggling behind him. It shocked them when they heard more giggling, and it was coming from the small child in the water. "What's so funny?"

The girl looked up, one eye bright yellow with a thin pupil, the other was her signature shade of (e/c) and had a round pupil. "I'm just thinking how funny it would be to see how your arms and legs work backwards."

Oddly enough, it wasn't the first or second scream that got the attention of the parents in the area, but rather the sudden psychotic laughter that echoed around the river.

The Sunspot's parents finally walked over to investigate and were horrified to see two children wallowing on the ground in pain. One child had a broken arm and the other had a broken leg. There was also a third child that was rocking back and forth and gripping his head a couple of feet away, his eyes were dilated and distant.

In the water, crouching down and poking at a salamander, was (Y/n), the little Sunspot.

"You know some salamanders have tongues ten times the length of their body." Bill poked at the salamander's eye, causing it to blink and look around for the perpetrator.

"Does this one?"

"Wanna find out?"

[irishmammonagenda]

Catholic MC Gets Sent Into Hell?! Not Clickbait! (part one)

introduction, part one, part two, part three warnings: light swearing, religious theme(s), GN (though implied AFAB mc, they/them pronouns used.) It's implied that MC knows prayers in irish,idk how to word that but😭😭 (i'm new to writing so i dont think i'm too good at characterisation yet)

A strangled scream rips itself from their throat as they lurch downwards into what can only be described as an abyss, the plastic river rock bottle and their phone almost rip themselves from their blazer, MC grips onto them for dear life, the only familiar things in this vacuum of darkness.

The fear almost paralyzes them, and through their years of catholic conditioning, MC does the only thing they can think to do, they pray. Muttering out a prayer to the Patron Saint of Protection, Archangel Michael, MC finds theirself falling onto cold, tiled ground in some bastardisation of wonderland.

They almost sigh in relief, if not for the group of people they catch in their peripherals, on their knees MC looks around, pulling their school skirt further down, it unrolls slightly from where it was rolled at the waist. MC lends wide eyes to the 8 men around the....court room...? They're met with a range of reactions. A man with hair red as blood stands, his arms extended out at his sides in some sort of attempt to be welcoming, to his right is a stoic, though calmly smiling man with green ombre-esque hair. Arguably the most unsettling of the two.

Nevertheless, MC looks to the 6 others in the room, their instincts going haywire, a blond with eyes so green they could be neon, a beautiful man-not that the rest weren't-with hair that reminded MC of the rose coloured shloer they'd get to drink at Christmas.

A man with...indigo? hair...MC was never good with colours, but it didn't matter as he was more focused on his gameboy and glaring at the tan white haired man who looked like the epitome of chaos than them. MC could live with that. They could also live with not having seen the ginger inhale a cake whole, but that was by far the least strange thing that had happened. Then they set their eyes upon the last man of the group, standing to the left hand side of the red-haired brown skinned man, a brunet, or would it be more fitting to say noirette? MC didn't know, either way his hair was black as night, with the slightest hint of silver....or was it grey? Either way, he meets their gaze with his crimson eyes. MC's breath hitches. Falling, only to land in an emo pinterest board looking courtroom with a bunch of men, all of which with strange hair and eyes? They needed to leave.

The man with scarlet hair begins to talk, "Hello MC and welcome to the Devil-"

"Our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy na-" MC begins to mutter, their eyes shut tight. The tension in the room grows thicker, they can no longer hear the game on the indigo haired man's gameboy, he must've shut it off.

"Lucifer....What's the human doing?" Scarlethead man asks hesitantly, the name spurs MC on, their prayer ups an octave, "By kingdom come, thy will be done-"

"-Praying. It looks like, Diavolo." A sadistic sounding voice responds, offence dripping in this 'Lucifer's' tone.

"-on earth as it is in heaven-"

"-Oh."

MC drowns out the squabble that begins between these...demons. They pray over and over again, the fighting only continues as they get started into the ten Hail Marys.

"Sé do bheatha a Mhuire, atá-"

A new voice joins in. "Ohh?~ What's with the strange words? That doesn't sound like latin."

A sigh can be heard afterwards, "Neither was the praying in English, Asmo. Besides, humans pray in all of their languages now."

"Really?"

"Feck."

Now that gets MC to stop praying and to look up in surprise at the sound of the voice, "Of course demons can be Irish. Of fucking course." They mutter before meeting several pairs of eyes and immediately lowering their head and muttering once more.

"Satan! You visited humans way more t-than us! D-do something!" MC doesn't hear the chain of responses, only picking up, 'worthless otaku like me!' and 'i'm not a human whisperer!'

The name Satan though....

"Saint Michael the Archangel! Defend us in battle!-"

"-Michael?" The strict tone says aloud. Tension was growing thicker.

"-Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil!-"

"-now thats just mean!"

"-Yeah! Human who do ye think yer messin' with?-"

"-May God rebuke him we humbly pray!-"

"My Lord, would you like me to fetch Simeon?"

"That would be a good idea!" The scarlet haired demon, the 'Lord' says, there's laughter? in his voice though.

"-And do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host!-"

Silence takes over the room. Until it doesn't.

"Hmm?~ Wasn't that Lucifer's role?"

"W-whaa?! Don't bring that up! He l-looks like he's about to rage quit during a campaign!"

"Diavolo. How long will Barbatos be in fetching Simeon." That annoyed, stern voice asks, although it's less of a question and more of an order. That must be Lucifer.

"-bY the Power of GOd, cast into hell SataN! And all-"

Snickering can be heard.

"L plus Ratio plus ROFL!"

"Shut up Levi." A voice hisses.

"-other eVIL Spirits who pROwl around the wORLD seeking the ruin of souls!"

"Uhhh...*munch* why's the human glowing?"

...

"nevermind."

[yellowistheraddest]

LADIES, GENTLEMEN AND FELLOW CONTORTIONS OF THE HUMAN SPIRIT, i present to you 9 drawing requests with accompanying commentary...

request one:

honestly its not a crime but they are criminally curious to learn the rich history of Dallas in 1963! i mean arent you curious, you should google what happened there on november 22nd!!!

request number 2:

OH BABY you know i love making people feel :( my most popular post is characters crying so i was supposed to have fun with it but 3 people hugging - dude, i was no the verge of insanity and in the end pearl just kinda got swallowed up and disappeared.

[[7 MORE UNDER CUT!!]]

request tres:

coming from the last drawing i was still on the 'lmao get sad' bandwagon, and simon and athena they have lived through somethings so once again i drew people crying :D so heres a drawing of little athena and her goth uncle having a nice little hug and nothing ever went wrong

request četiri:

by now everyone should know that my favourite AU is these two bastards meeting before phoenix became a lawyer; ya know so he doesnt need to break his back trying to learn law as an art student - not that he learns much as he doesnt know what a cross examination is in his first case,,

request pénte:

this request marked the second day of drawing.

now,, i might have not read the request before i drew sooo i kinda just drew them taking a selfies at a steel samurai con so i kindly edited the second drawing to contain a peace sign. [the plush is the hellish creature named the iron infant [from AAI i think] and i bet its like the worst character in the franchise and these two will definitely burn it when they get home]

request numero sześć:

now i swore to never post kissing on here so i spare myself of the cringw when i look back later, so just dont read the first half and enjoy the way i found out you cant really draw flicking without making a comic. like the motion is so small yet so powerful how do you draw that?!?!?!?!?!? this looked miles better in my brain...

request shtatë:

you know what else is like rocks? big frozen chunks of ice, like the one here :D

RIP LMAO

request huit:

ah the t4t to end all t4ts. ron is definitely a guy to fall at first sight and bro desiree is the definition of girlboss

also people forget that larry was rons coworker and i need more content of those two because they are just wildly opposite

[edit: ''sir are good'' HUH??? brother i need to go to sleep and just not draw for the next millenia]

now we have arrived at the end of our trip...

you may be thinking "yellow, you said that there were 9 drawings!"

YES, but no.. theres probably a reason behind this but when i opened my inbox and saw this was like a game character who was stun locked. i mean look at this, aka request number NINE:

love ya to death, babes, but please get some rest because i think you forgot to write in the characters you wanted to see. despite that i decided to draw what you requested:

now just imagine whichever characters you waant in those places! wait was your request an investment so you can have an infinite amount of ships inserted into this pose???

anywho, ummmmm.. yeah Now we have reached the end - but do not fear, im not dying or going away. im still going to be here on my ace attorney bullshit as long as my brain can stand.

sadly i have to say GOODNIGHT, LADIES, GENTLEMEN AND FELLOW CONTORTIONS OF THE HUMAN SPIRIT. may we meet once again when the planets align and it rains in the greatest depths of the ocean o7

[miquella-everywhere]

Miyazaki said that the SoET was supposed to complete “The Elden Ring circle” and “honour GRRM’s contributions” by “focusing entirely on Miquella” 😭

When I heard about the DLC originally I was worried they were gonna make Miquella cheaply evil, because Fromsoft is allergic to positive divinity and good endings I guess. But looking at all the Miquella lore it would make just no sense, the best-worst outcome could’ve been Miquella corrupted by Mogh. They didn’t even make it an interesting evil. I have a friend who thought Miq was brainwashing ALL his followers, which thankfully isn’t the case. This is one of those “twists” or more “complex” endings where the straight forward route is a thousand times better. Isn’t us helping Miquella fix everything so much more interesting ? Miquella is supposed to be a parallel to Marika, isn’t it natural for us, tarnished warrior, to take up Godfry’s role? And not the out of nowhere larper. “Age of Compassion” is already set up as a name! Also as everyone said, Godwyn is just wasted! Why don’t we help Miq grant him a true death? Imagine the rotten, bulbous undead Godwyn as the final boss and act of mercy. Imagine if we could help Malenia too ughh. Who cares about Fia and her taking advantage of Godwyn’s remains.

By the way, do we get any mention of Miquella’s shadow? Or Fingers?? Good on the Dragon and Marika lore we love a nuances queen

"Focusing entirely on Miquella" 😒

I've been trying to avoid as many spoilers as possible, since the leaks ruined the build up and nearly everything for me, but from the people that I have been talking to they all say that Miquellas presence in the DLC is almost like an afterthought and his only major role is to be Radahns backpack in the final battle...

So basically I've been getting the impression that Miquella's entire development feels forsaken and pushed aside and that makes the final boss even more of a "Wait, what the fuck????" moment than it already is 😭 Even my bestie @marble-writes who is primarily a dragon slayer(go queen kill them all👏😂) and not much of a lore enthusiast said that Miquella's big twist felt so out of left field and lazy...

Back when the first trailer dropped I was literally frothing at the mouth at the idea of Miquella being our companion and guide, similar to Melina's role, through the Realm of Shadow. And it makes sense! Base-game lore built up Miquella as this kind, compassionate soul, so why wouldn't he be our friend? Why wouldn't he be our guide because, just like the promo said, we were being guided by him. And even if he didn't turn out to be a companion I at least expected him to be like Ranni in that he would be a major NPC and quest giver and we could interact with him and help him with whatever he needed help with...

But nope, just toss all that wonderful potential aside and make him the big-bad backpack and a dollar-store Serosh rip off :'(

I'm just... so devastated, especially after reading that article with Miyazaki saying that he wanted everything to go "full circle" when really it all just feels like a series of dashed lines that don't connect but vaguely form a circle. There's far too much missing to even really call it a cricle :(

AND GOD MIQ AND MALS SHADOWS!!!! I have not seen or heard anything about that so I am assuming that their shadows, the one that every empyrean is supposed to have, are ignored and forgotten just like Miquella's character development 😭 (and if im wrong and they are there dont tell me, i want to find and experience them for myself)

But still its yet another thing that is completely forgotten and leaves even more plot holes within SotE's lore and further erodes Elden Rings story as a whole 😭

and I dont know anything about the fingers at this point sorry :(

[sleepy-wyvern]

Hi! Just found your blog and i love it

If you're taking requests I'd love some best friends to lovers smut with Eddie

Maybe he figures out you have a crush on him and he feels the same way. Whatever you think is best, i'm sure it would turn out amazing

- @eddiesprincess86

So uh, I went a little crazy and wrote my longest oneshot ever at 5.8k words, I hope you dont mind! I finished this at 3am but I really wanted to get this to you asap and be something you might enjoy! I hope you like! Thanks so much for your kind words as well!!! <;3 @eddiesprincess86

"Friends" | Eddie Munson x female!Reader Smut

First gif, second pic

TW/CW: jealous reader, very brief mention of cheating (not by Eddie or Reader), vaping, marijuana & cigarette references, alcohol, cream pie, slight praise kink?

Pet names: baby, darling, sweetheart (this fic uses y/n)

This fic contains 18+ EXPLICIT material, minors DNI! All characters in this fic are 18+

Friends. We’re friends. The concept of a friend was never meant to be a bad one, so why did it feel like poison in your brain the moment the words thrummed into your ear drums?

That was what you were, after all. 

Friends who spent nearly every day together. Hell, best friends even. 

“What’s the matter, y/n? You have been acting weird and avoiding me.” Eddie’s eyes were large and brown, it was rare to see him with a serious expression so you felt thrown off guard. 

The matter is you were in love. With him. And didn’t want to admit it to yourself.

You think back to when you both were little. His hair was short and buzzed, he was covered in dirt and his jeans had bright green grass stains. He’d smile brightly at you, asking if you wanted to play after school. Even then you knew people considered him a freak. But you didn’t care, you had fun with Eddie and that’s what mattered.  

Your mother on the other hand, always kept you neat and tidy, scolding when you’d track any dirt or stain your precious clothes. 

“You were with that Munson boy again weren't you?” She’d scowl while running a bath “that boy's trouble.”

When you got older you figured it had something to do with his parentage, or where he had lived in a trailer park and you a house with the white picket fence. 

But as you grew into a teenager, your parents realised they were better off letting you be friends with who you wanted. You’d just rebel against them anyways if they told you not to. They also figured it’d be better to monitor you both by letting him hang out at your place, so you wouldn’t be “up to no good.” In doing so they realised what a kind person he was, offering to do the dishes, helping your family move houses a few streets down, bringing you Gatorade when you’re sick and watching the house while you went on dreaded family vacations. Eventually the sight of Eddie at your house was normal, expected even. 

One night, he helped you home when you embarrassingly had too much to drink. You didn’t think your parents found out, as the quiet house creaked while he tucked you into bed with a glass of water and escaped through the window. But ever since then your mom warmed up to him a little more. 

“You can tell Eddie we’re having tacos tonight, I know they’re his favourite,” your mom beamed from the kitchen one evening. 

Now things were different. You lived in your own small apartment, he in his. His hair was longer, his body and yours were covered in tattoos. 

Now he was staring at you expecting a reply, eye bags drooping in a tired, charming way. But he still played guitar, he still wore ripped jeans, still snuck away with you to drink and get high, still got mad at you when you were close to having too much to drink. The same yet different. 

Something had to explain or account for a newfound feeling in your chest when he introduced you to the girls at the hideout.

When he got off the stage, his chest was still heavily moving up and down and sweat dripped from his hair and forehead. The sight made you unable to sit still, you pretended to not know why. 

They were his friends, yet the blond girl seemed to bat her eyelashes at Eddie as she sat at the bar. The purple and pink haired girl didn’t need to, her low cut top and skirt with fishnets spoke for her that night. 

Jealousy dissolved to anger which dissolved to sadness. You hated that you started to despise these girls you hadn't even known for more than 5 minutes. For doing a normal thing, shooting their shot with a guy that was single. 

Yet it still stung when he said the words “Hey, this is y/n, my friend.”

For the first time in your friendship you were jealous. 

“Nice to meet you,” you said, not caring to listen to their names. 

Eddie didn’t seem to notice they were flirting with him, yet the jealousy still appeared, taunting you. One of Eddie’s other band members interrupted their quiet small talk, something about equipment needing attention. 

You looked down the bar noticing Gareth sitting there. You moved to sit on the stool next to him, sighing as you lean your arms onto the wooden counter. 

You were the same age and last year celebrated your 21st birthday. Now of legal drinking age, you often shared drinks at Corroded Coffin shows to support Eddie every Tuesday. It became a ritual of sorts, and you grew pretty close that way.

Eddie met him in highschool, at a dnd club. You never really knew him that well until after graduation. Lost sheep, Eddie had called him. You’ve never felt any feelings for Gareth, especially jealousy. Was that what this was for Eddie, a stupid little crush?

You sighed, folding your arms as you tapped your fingers against yourself anxiously. Gareth eyed you out of the corner of his vision curiously. You ordered a rum and coke, something that had a nostalgia about it for you. 

“Good show tonight huh?” He spoke before taking a long sip of his beer. 

The bartender brought you your glass and you drank eagerly, it had more soda than you wanted tonight. 

“Uh huh,” you looked over to Eddie who was talking to the girls, hands in his pockets. 

Gareth followed your eyes as he tapped his finger along the handle of his mug. 

“Who are they?” He asked. 

“Huh?” You turned back to him and he nodded towards where you were looking. 

Embarrassed you looked down at your cup “some girls from out of town. Ones a singer.”

He nodded silently, shifting his position on the stool. What you didn’t see was Eddie looking back at you as you stared down, glancing concerned between you and Gareth. Eddie gave him a look of apprehension to which he shrugged at. 

You take another sip of your drink, enjoying the hot sensation in your stomach. It was so stupid. Eddie’s hooked up with girls before, though you both wanted to know little to nothing about each other's love life it never bothered you before. Now, he wasn’t even sleeping with someone, as far as you knew, but it still bugged you. The thought of him sleeping with them made you want to vomit. 

“You should tell him,” Gareth broke your thoughts, you wondered for a moment if he could read minds.

You were moments away from choking on your drink, thankfully he didn’t notice “tell him what?” Your voice had a small croak to it. 

Gareth sighed, sitting straight up. He wore his old red plaid jacket he had since high school, it had tears and patches sewn over. 

“You know what,” he gave you an irritated look. 

You scowl at him before downing your drink. The ice clinked the bottom of the glass as you placed it down on the counter. 

“I’m not stupid, but Eddie is. He couldn’t notice a crush if it slapped him in the face.” Gareth looked at you sympathetically but you couldn't handle it anymore.

You sigh standing up, grabbing your soft warm jacket. Eddie catches your gaze as you stand, turning to leave the bar. He waves you, you wave back but still head to the door. He hurries up to you, catching you just before you leave. 

“Hey,” he said, “you’re going home already?” His eyes darted between yours, a tinge of sadness coated them. You felt bad but it pained you to be here, of the reactions that you had that you weren’t proud of. 

“Yeah, it’s getting late so I should head home.” You smile at him weakly, he doesn’t return the sentiment, just a look of concern. 

“Are we still on for tomorrow…?” He asked, sounding hopeful with bright doe like eyes.

“Yeah,” it was all you could think of to say, your heart ached.

He let you leave in silence. You zipped up your jacket, bundling against the cold spring night. You take your vape out of your pocket, warming it with cold fingers. You watched the smoke disperse into the air as it evaporated.

Arriving home you change into your pyjamas crawling into bed, wondering how you’ll be able to make it through tomorrow. When did things change? What changed?

The last month you supposed, spending the dark months of the beginning of the year together watching shows like The Last of Us and playing Valorant. You loved him, you always had since you were little. He stuck up for you, and frankly people were scared of him so they stayed off your back. In return you always stuck up for him when people called him a freak or whatnot.

He brought you ice cream when your first love broke your heart. You brought him weed and beer when his girlfriend cheated on him. But your love for him never felt like this before, a bittersweet taste on the back of your tongue.

You’re not sure when your buzzing thoughts turned to sleep but at some point they did, as you woke to the sound of a text message in the morning. It was Gareth. 

“Did you do it yet?” He texted. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You replied. 

“:(“

“Sorry. Hanging out with Eddie tonight. I'll call you tomorrow.” You lock your phone screen feeling a little guilty. You went about your day to day routine until 7pm rolled around, unsure of what else to do.

You had popcorn, snacks, and beer in the fridge. The tv was ready, if you were to watch something, and your Nintendo switch was ready if that was the choice, or your gaming laptop. 

Your foot was bouncing in anxiety, trying to get some nervous energy out when the doorbell rang in your ears. You get up, rather too quickly, making your way to the door. Opening it you’re greeted with shaggy, wavy dark hair. He held a bottle of wine and your favourite candy. 

“What’s the occasion?” You asked, opening the door wider and stepping back. 

“No occasion,” he admitted stepping inside, “just your favourite.”

Your stomach churned wondering if he could tell you were upset last night and was trying to make up for it. He made no indication he was doing so, strolling into your apartment as usual. He got two wine glasses out knowing exactly where you kept them. He poured the wine into the glasses, swirling the liquid around dramatically. You stood with your arms crossed watching him silently. 

“What did you wanna do tonight?” He asked and honestly you never thought this far ahead. Making it past the door was your biggest anxiety tonight. 

“No idea,”  you rubbed your temples to soothe your racing brain. 

He looks out the window thinking for a moment as he does, “come with me. We’re going for a walk.”

“You just poured wine and took off your shoes.” You can’t help but chuckle a little at his sudden idea. Once Eddie has an idea he’ll drop everything he’s doing to accomplish it. 

“Yeah, well, it’ll be here when we get back,” he clapped his hands together “let’s go go go!”

You blink a few times shaking your head but you oblige. You haul a black hoodie over your head, tugging it down. You slip on your hightops and suddenly you felt like you were in highschool again, heading out with Eddie just for something to do.

Placing your wallet and keys into your pocket you step outside into the cold air, “where are we going?” you turn back to watch him haul on his snow white sneakers.

“For snacks,” he answered, closing the door behind him.

It felt like forever since you walked somewhere just for the hell of it. You put your air pod in one ear, offering him the other that he accepts on one condition.

“Play our blended playlist,” he requested as you opened spotify.

The sky was painted orange, you watched the clouds while you walked as darkness crept around the horizon. You knew the path to the corner store, absentmindedly your legs carried you there. Music played through your ears as you watched him walk besides you, hand in his pockets staring off into the sky. 

You admire his smile lines framing his gorgeous brown eyes, each told a story of his years of happiness that you witnessed. His hair bounced back against the light breeze, he wore his usual leather jacket and jean vest, keeping him warm enough. His silver chain attached to his belt loops bounced against his leg with every step. Occasionally a loose pebble was kicked further ahead, skipping across the cement sidewalk. 

You weren’t sure what to say, if anything. Words caught at the bottom of your throat, until you reached the old little shop. It looked the same as when you were a kid- old dirty white siding, wooden steps leading up to the door that creaked, a gross ashtray you tried your best to avoid looking at lest your appetite escape you.

You stroll into the old building as the bell rings, the white tiles beneath your feet covered in sand. You look over the numerous colourful packages of sweet treats, mouth watering already.

It was so nostalgic, reminding you of the numerous times you stopped by here with Eddie. As kids you stopped by for blue and red slushies in the summer on your bikes, the place always smelled like cheap deep fried food. Once, when you were preteens, you poured your change together and with it bought a package of ice cream sandwiches. You had eaten the entire package together, sitting on the swings until you had to go home from a tummy ache. 

You felt lucky you lived closer to it now, in your new apartment, but refused to go there without him. It felt so weird to be there alone, as if this was a spot just for you both. 

Tonight you opted out from the sticky ice cream or slushies. Instead you went for the bottled soda, craving the sweet fizzy feeling on your tongue. 

“What do you think?” Eddie asks, holding his arms out like a game show host showing off prizes “kitkat, butterfingers, Reece’s…”

You glance over your shoulder at him while picking out the blue soda. Eddie always looked quite out of place, like he should be on stage. Shaggy hair, ripped jeans, demon-esque clothing. Yet it was oddly fitting for the old corner store. Probably a normal occurrence for the shop tender, as he looked rather bored.

“Didn’t you already bring me candy?”

“Yes but as you know, candy is not chocolate,” he retorts and you roll your eyes. 

“They both have sugar. Loads of it.”

“Okay but,” his eyes widened as he looked down at you matter-of-factly “chocolate is an entirely different category.”

You couldn’t help but smile at him “okay, you’re right.”

You grabbed a kitkat, placing it on the counter next to a see through display of scratch tickets. The cashier rang through the items as you shifted your weight from one leg to the next. Why were you so nervous?

You managed to place a $20 down before Eddie could, dumping the change back in your wallet while he scowled at you. He settled for holding the chocolate in his pockets as you strolled out of the store.

“Let’s go to the playground,” he suggested, “all the kids will be gone by now.”

Your eyebrow raised “everyone will be gone because that playground is junky.”

He laughs, “well, more fun for us.”

The old playground was nearby, it still had the same rusted monkey bars and swing set, though the swing seats and chains had been switched out some time ago. It didn’t take you long to get there and he was right, there was no one there.

You sat on the old black swing, hips much wider now, making it a bit more uncomfortable now than as a kid. Your knees pressed together as you kicked at the ground, rocking yourself back and forth making designs in the sand. You twisted the cap off of your soda bottle, bringing the glass mouth piece to your lips. The sweet blue liquid dripped down your throat, fizzing as it entered your stomach.

Eddie sat next to you, hands currently buried in a bag of sour patch kids, offering you the kitkat. You held it in your hands, looking it over. After a few songs played in your ears, he stood in front of you, looking down at you.

“What’s the matter, y/n? You have been acting weird and avoiding me.” Eddie’s expression was serious. Something you didn’t see very often.

You scratched the back of your neck not yet answering so he continued.

“I mean not like physically ignoring me,” he said using nervous hand gestures “just, I don’t know…” he trailed off looking for the right words to say “it’s corny. Like you’re not connecting with me.”

You ran your thumb along the glass bottle while his eyes darted between yours.

“Oh my god,” he said as you looked up at him, eyes caught on the part in his lips. His facial expression softens “you have a crush on Gareth.”

You burst out into a laugh and he raises an eyebrow at you “No, you dingus.”

He looks into your eyes, face melting as a thousand emotions exchange between you as you both realize the truth. You look down at your feet as he sits on the swing next to you.

“Do you remember when we met?” he asked you, looking straight ahead.

“Honestly? No,” you admitted.

He looked over at you then, “me neither,” you shared a hearty chuckle together. 

Looking up at the sky you noticed the stars were slowly starting to appear.

“You were just… always there. But I remember the day I first realised I loved you,” he fumbled with his rings, a little nervous.

Your eyes meet his, urging him on.

“You were wearing a yellow dress with pink butterflies, your hair was in braids. Jason Carver said the town called me a freak-” he smiled as he recounted the memory.

“-and I punched him in the face” you laugh into the darkening sky.

His laugh joined you as he crossed his arms “and he cried, swearing his revenge by telling his mommy.”

“Yup, and I was ‘banned’ from hanging out with you because you were a bad influence,” truth be told Eddie wouldn’t hurt a fly, unless it was a mosquito. You were probably a bad influence on him. 

“That was the day I first started loving you, and I’ve never stopped since then,” his eyes seemed to shine like the stars above his head.

Your heart seemed to pound in your chest, directly in the back of your throat as you looked into his brown eyes.

“I hated myself,” you say suddenly “that I felt jealous over those girls at the bar,” you feel your cheeks running red.

He tilted his head listening intently but his brows furrowed “you are the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever met,” tingles spread over your cheeks as he continued “you have nothing to be jealous of.”

You look down again, biting at your chapped lip.

He sighed, “Despite what Gareth says about me all of the time, I know they were flirting with me. I rejected them.”

“I-I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. It was selfish.”

He had a soft chuckle surprising you. “I think it's cute.”

You frown, kicking the sand softly as your cheeks heated.

“So,” he said after a minute, “are you going to admit your undying love for me now?”

“Well,” you recede your hands into your hoodie sleeves, feeling a little vulnerable “that’s a bit of a dramatic way to put it.”

He folded his hands together in confidence “we’ll get there,”

He reaches his hand out to you brushing his thumb along your cheek, “so are we going to do this thing or what?”

You lean to the side until his lips meet yours, a warmth touch beneath the cold sky. The moment he does, you feel unified as sparks jump from you to him and back again. The stubble on his face tickles against your cheek, a sweet sensation you never knew before.

“Wow,” he gasped, “you don’t know how long I’ve waited for that,” his eyes were locked on your lips as he whispered. 

You lean forward connecting your lips again, gently sucking on his bottom lip before pulling away. 

“We’ve got some wine sitting at home waiting for us” his breath against your cheek spread shivers through the rest of your body. 

Instinctively you bring your hands to his cheek, getting lost in his hair “that sounds wonderful.”

The walk back to your house had the same scenery, the same vibe of music in your ear, and you even walked in the same step next to each other. Yet it was completely different. The dark blue sky looked over you both like a blanket, you giggled at jokes he threw at you playfully. Even the music seemed happier now. Before you knew it you arrived home together, taking your boots off as you entered. 

You grabbed your wine glass before flopping onto the couch. The wine was room temperature but frankly you didn’t know enough about wine to know if that was good or bad. To you it was just alcohol, but the kind that made you feel fancy as you sipped from the glass. 

Eddie strolled over as he always did, owning the room, sitting on the other end of the couch, tapping his foot against the floor to some invisible beat. 

You had already flipped on a random Netflix movie that was on your list but despite trying to pay attention you couldn’t. 

Your focus was on the man next to you, arm stretched over the couch behind your back. The same but different. The fuzzy feeling in your stomach made you smile, and you declared it a good different. 

You place your wine glass on the coffee table as you lean into him, snuggling into his chest the way couples did frequently in movies. It was just as good as you thought it would be, if not better. Hearing his heart thumping against your ear, the firmness of his torso, the rise and fall of his chest with every breath… it was all so perfect. So right. You felt almost silly over how much you stressed about everything, merely an hour earlier. 

“Eddie,” you looked up at him and he looked down at you, a curious look with pure happiness. 

Before he could say anything your lips reunited with his, warm and soft. You brushed your tongue along his lower lip, tasting the sweetness of soda and candy. Being this close to him you never noticed exactly how good he smelled to you. Sweet tobacco, crisp evergreen, and undertones that were just so… him. 

As your tongue met his, you wanted to consume him and be consumed by him. His hand moved to your waist while yours met the gruffness of his face. You brought your hands to the back of his head, tangling yourself in his soft locks. 

You felt yourself climbing into his lap, surprised at your own boldness. He was too, as he held your hips steady a wide grin grew on his face while he pressed his lips into yours.

“Woah baby,” the words rolled off of his tongue perfectly “are you sure you want to do this?”

“Yes,” you whisper on his lips “I’ve never been more sure of anything.”

The feeling of being on Eddie’s lap was so intoxicating you almost felt dizzy, you were so glad for his strong grip on you. You hold the back of his head, kissing him as deeply as your mouths would allow. The kisses turned sloppier as you continued and heat overtook you, your tongues mingling in and out of your mouth. 

His hands tested the waters by sliding underneath your shirt and up to your waist. He grabbed at your curves, cold metal rings pressing into you in a way that sent hunger through your body. 

You felt your cunt wetten as you lightly grinded against his crotch. Your leggings were a thin enough material that a fold in his jeans hit your clit at precisely the right angle causing you to let out a soft moan into his mouth, body jumping a little in surprise. 

“Woah,” he smirked pulling back to gauge your reaction, “I never thought I’d hear you make that noise,”

You noticed goosebumps on his tattooed arms rise as he wrapped his arms around you.

“Sorry,” You mumble a little embarrassed. 

Without warning he picked you up into his arms, holding your ass and thighs tightly as he carried you to your bedroom. 

He laid you on your soft bed sheets, grinning wildly with fire in his eyes “darling that was the best sound I’ve ever heard in my life."

He cupped your face kissing you deeply. Everywhere his hands touched created sparks you’ve never gotten so intensely before. You wanted them everywhere, over your entire body. 

“Touch me,” You whispered, the words almost sounded foreign on your tongue; they were the words you’ve only said to him in dreams. And this was better than any dream you’ve ever had. 

He helped you pull the oversized sweater off, losing sight of him for a moment as the fabric pulled over your head. You smile at him feeling your hair frizz in different directions from the static

You giggle lovingly as he smiles back at you “every noise you make is music to my ears baby,” he brings his mouth down to the rim of your shirt, biting it and pulling it up and over your head.

Your torso shivered as you crossed your arms beneath your breasts, nervous for his reaction as you lay beneath him topless.

He kept his eyes level with yours, “you are so gorgeous,” his lips met yours as his hair brushed against your neck. 

One hand moved to your neck and you melted beneath his fingers as he brushed them over your shoulder and down your arms. Slowly he moved to your waist and you couldn’t help it as you moved your arms to wrap around him. He was wearing too much though, so you tug at his shirt, pulling it up eagerly. 

He straightened up, pulling his shirt up and over his head, letting it fall to the floor “is this what you wanted, darling?”

“Yes,” you whispered, entranced in his tattoos. You've been there for every one, but as he stood over you filled with desire somehow they felt different. 

As he closed the gap between you, you traced his chest tattoos with his fingers before he moved to kiss your neck. 

Your legs squirm as he licks the delicate skin. You let out a gasp as he sucks in between kisses, sure to leave a bruise. 

“I like to mark what’s mine,” he whispers into your ear before returning to your mouth. 

He hooks his fingers underneath the fabric of your bra, tugging at it and begging you to let him see you, feel you and touch you. 

You lean forward allowing him to wrap his arm around you “that’s a good girl,” his hand moves to undo the clasp. 

You let the straps fall off your shoulders as a shudder runs through your body. Your breasts bounce as your bra falls onto the bed. 

His eyes widen as he looks down at you, in awe and shock “better than I imagined, somehow,” his lips quivered. 

“You imagined them?” you tease, raising your eyebrows. 

He looks deep into your eyes considering his answer before speaking “once or twice.”

You laugh pulling him in for a kiss. You couldn’t bear to have his lips apart from yours, you were already addicted to his taste and touch. 

He moved his hands over to cup your breast, gently and lovingly. He ran his fingers over your nipples before lowering his head from your mouth to your breasts. You bury your hands and face into his hair, taking in as much as you could while he kisses your chest, licking and soaking you. You let out a mix of gasps and moans as he gently bites at your nipple. 

You bring your hands down to your waist, feeling your hips start to beg for attention. You shimmy out of your leggings pulling them down. 

Eddie was sure to give your thighs the attention they well deserved too, running his hands over them with cold rings, grabbing them lustfully. The crotch of your panties was warm as you start to soak them due to Eddie’s fingertips making their way inward towards your entrance. 

“Eddie,” you whispered soft and sweet, a mixture of a question, a beg and a demand. 

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll make you feel good, if that’s what you want,” his raspy voice offered you, he wanted to hear you say it. 

“Yes” you nodded weakly, he lowered his fingers underneath your panties, removing them from your legs.

“I…” you whisper and he looks up at you, one brow raised in question “I…. Want your cock Eddie, so so bad.”

His body shivers at your words, he was more than willing to give you anything you wanted. 

He moved his fingers to his belt buckle, removing it and letting it fall to the floor. Your toes curled as he removed his jeans and boxers, the sight of his cock made you gasp, you must’ve had a shocked or scared expression because he chuckled amused. 

He lowered himself on top of you, the heat of your bodies mingling together. Your bodies pressed into one another felt like a perfect fit, like you were made for each other. 

He pressed the shaft of his cock against your entrance allowing you to feel the length of him along your wet cunt. You whimpered into his mouth while he moved his hands down to your entrance. 

“Are you ready baby?” He asked, big brown eyes intent to hear your answer. 

You nod, “yes,” you wanted all of him, so badly, and you wanted him now. 

He moved his hand to line himself up with your entrance, first testing you with his fingers. Your back arches as he slides them in easily. He curled them against your walls making you moan in pleasure. 

“Please, please, Eddie, your cock,” you pouted, making him smirk in satisfaction. 

He bent down and kissed you sweetly, “yes baby, you’ll get it,” he let out a small chuckle in disbelief that he finally gets to hear you say those words. 

He ran his fingers over his cock, lubing up to prepare. Lining his tip up with your entrance you hold your breath. You bring your fingers up to clutch onto his back for support as he ever so slowly pushes his tip inside. You take a deep breath and he continues, tight precious pleasure filled you as you let out a small gasp. 

“How’s that?” His voice was unsteady you could tell, taking in the feeling of his cock against your cunt “fuck baby, you’re so slick and tight for me.”

“Good, i'm good, i'm ready,” You fumble over the words, eager to have the rest of him. 

He takes his hand in yours, intertwining your fingers as he pushes against you. You let out a deep sigh as you feel his full length deep inside you. 

Eddie grins down at you, brushing your hair back “you’re taking me so well sweetheart.”

And you had, because you dreamt of this for days although you wouldn’t dare admit how badly you wanted him. Needed him, even. 

You shimmy your hips, readjusting yourself “keep going,” you whisper. 

He pulls out, thrusting in a little quicker this time. He repeats the process, faster again as you let out a moan. The bed started to shake and before you knew it he was ramming into your tight little cunt, grunting in exertion and pleasure. 

The feeling of his cock inside you was so divine, you knew nothing else in the world would be able to top it. You never wanted to be apart from him, as you desperately pulled at the muscles on his back, wanting him closer. 

He kissed your forehead and your lips, continuing to thrust at a steady pace. You readjusted your hips and to your surprise his next thrust brushed against that wonderful g-spot and the moan that escaped your lips shocked you. 

“Oh, I’ve found it haven’t I?” He ran his tongue over his teeth slyly. 

He continued to thrust into you, pushing into the spot over and over again “yes, yes Eddie! Harder,” you whimpered. 

He grunted with sweat dripping down his forehead. Slowly but surely the tip of his cock brought you up and over that mountain of pleasure, your orgasm topping over in that sweet high. Your body stiffened letting out a moan louder than the rest and he knew he had you. 

“My princess finished on my cock did she? It feels so good when you finish while I’m inside,” he kissed your neck, enjoying the pleasure on your face caused by him. 

He began to thrust again, faster this time as your body was limp against the bedsheets. Your hands move to his hair, running your fingers through it and pulling it out of his face. 

“Don’t hold back,” you murmur “I want to feel your cum deep inside me,” your own words made you shudder “let our orgasms mix.”

He could barely nod, chasing his orgasm through your clenching walls around him. The sensation was oh so good, so addicting. He never wanted to leave your cunt, you fit so perfectly together as if you were made for one another.

“Baby I’m-“ A delightful moan escapes him, a sound that makes you shiver as you feel him twitch inside you, releasing his seed. 

You lay there together gasping, holding his hair back to help him cool down. He nuzzled his face into your neck lovingly, heart beating hard against you. 

“That was…” he whispered. 

“Amazing,” you finished his sentence for him with a cheeky smile. 

After a minute of resting together you sigh “we should’ve gotten a towel…”

He pulls out slowly as your mixture of hot fluids drips down your thighs. 

He leaves for a moment, returning with a soft cloth to dab against your sensitive entrance. Your body twitches as he pressed the cloth against you, he watched your facial expression with amusement. 

“You act like you didn’t just watch me cum,” you smile. 

“Oh don’t worry darling,” he moves to your lips kissing you before continuing “I’ll watch it over and over till the day we die.”

-----

💙💙💙💙

Thanks so much for reading if you made it this far I hope you all enjoyed! Leave a comment/heart/reblog if you feel so inclined, I treasure every one and they motivate me <3

My requests are OPEN! Since I have an exam next week turnaround time will be 1-3 days depending on how crazy I go on your prompt haha :)

Hope you have a great day my lovely Reader!

-Wyv

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

ofmd s2e1 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit

not quite a reaction post bc i've already watched the whole thing. not quite a liveblog bc it's one post and it's probably gonna take me a full hour to get through a 28 minute episode at the rate of pausing and typing i'll be doing

s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8

anyway, pirate time:

i love how much fun con is having choking on his own blood

dream!stede's extremely teary face right before he takes off running down the beach is doing psychic damage to me

also dream!stede's stupid ridiculous outfit with all the long ribbons and shit...

ed and stede make contact so hard shjfkhsgjkfd the loud OUGH sounds from both of them

also the return of ed's old beard! i didnt expect to see her at all this season, so that was a surprise.

"babe" "love" im tearing out my own hair

stede has yet to learn that ripping ass near your beloved can be a love language

stede is a terrible fucking roommate just deal with wee john's gas in silence like the rest of them. goddamn.

WHO HAS THE OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH TRAMP STAMP. WHO IS THAT.

i like when the background OST is familiar to me lol the little strings when stede starts his letter throwing me back to s1

olu: that–that's the swede the swede: Im the swede roach: he's single ;) me: *pissing my pants with laughter*

also the direct confirmation that the swede literally doesn't have a name. incredible

shjkfhdhfkj the crew encouraging him. stede's "it's okay" and roach "be brave" im CRYINGGGGG

stede doing customer service is something that can be so personal. "reservation?" "eat my fuckin' shit" "right! walk-ins, then" average restaurant experience

the random background guy saying "my favorite hand!" abt getting stabbed in the hand is making me giggle. i love the humor on this show

why does stede have so much shoulder movement going on when he's walking through the bar. whore behavior.

"this is for mom!" sorry but i want to know more abt whatever's going on there

also the purple mohawk. dope.

buttons is so distressed LET HIM RETURN TO THE SEA THESE CONDITIONS ARE INHUMANE

"i know the odds of you finding this are slim but so were the odds of us finding each other in the first place" IM RIPPING OFF MY OWN SKIN

also stede's lil sad hopeful smile after throwing the bottle... i care him

i love how they make this wedding fucking suck so we don't feel too bad abt the whole massacre thing. "the natural condition of humanity is base and vile. it is the obligation of people of standing, such as yourselves, to elevate the common human rabble through the sacred transaction of matrimony" if i was at a wedding and the officiant said that i'd also start killing people probably

yayy murder montage :)

FANG BREAKING THAT GUY'S SPINE OVER HIS KNEE

the whole cake scene is so fucking funny im sorry. i love u jim drawing the line at attacking a shitty wedding. i love u archie who wasn't here for the good old days so you dont really see a problem with how things are. i love u frenchie with ur box in ur brain that u never open again. i love u fang it's gonna get better i swear. i love u frenchie again bc u just took the cake right out of fang's hands while he was fucking sobbing hfjhgkjhdkjkf

I MISS IVAN JUSTICE FOR IVAN. wish they could've said he'd just fucked off somewhere instead of dying but i think that would've raised the question of why hasn't anyone else fucked off since they all seem so miserable

very relieved that stede isn't taking the racist/antisemitic caricature drawings of ed to make like a boyfriend scrapbook like some people were theorizing. would've been overkill if after episode 4 from last season stede still didn't realize that ed hated these sorts of depictions of him.

INTERESTING DETAIL THO the background music in this scene is "a pirate's life" aka the song frenchie sang in the pilot. it's an instrumental version obviously but yeah i recognize that tune

also more cool background ppl with dyed hair man i love this show

zheng yi sao flirting with olu is so good. he deserves it.

how nice of ed to offer his drugs to the crew. sharing is caring.

also it's so funny to me that the thing izzy is tormented by is ed saying "you can't do the job, someone else will" the toe thing's happened three times and apparently that was fine but the thing the show edits together right before izzy breaks down into the most pathetic aheemheem whimpers isn't any of that it's ed threatening to fire him

also they cut ed throwing knives at izzy!! what the hell.

releasing the clip of izzy crying kinda ruined it for me when it came time to watch it in the show bc i watched it several times since it dropped and now seeing it in context i was like "ok i've seen this already fast forward." i mean i didnt fast forward through it but i did kinda zone out bc i've seen this bit already. this post kinda sums up my thoughts on it

"trifling ingrate plan" dshkjfshgdskhfjkhgkjh

"SEMI-CLEAN WATER"

JACKIE CALLING THE SWEDE "BOO CAKES"

"i know that guy we had breakfast together!" "you'll be having a lot of breakfasts-es together" "oh, okay" i fucking love this whole dynamic like i can tell they're writing the swede out of most of the episodes for budget reasons (sorry nat faxon) but by god do they give him such an excellent fucking send-off. can't wait to see him again when he's in his trophy husband number 20 era

roach is upset abt not being able to cook, buttons is tied up so he doesn't go running back to the sea (i assume). stede you are not giving your crew the environment they need to thrive.

olu being an optimist :)

buttons opens his mouth to drink the rain and in the background u can see roach yanking the rope around buttons back fhdjskgfjhgkjfh STEDE YOUR SEA WITCH CANNOT THRIVE IN THESE CONDITIONS

stede tries to make things sound good in his bottle letters to ed but out loud he says his actual insecurities... it's so fucking tasty tho that he thinks ed could be doing better without him and THAT'S why he's been stalling so much. not afraid for his life even a little bit he just assumes he's not wanted. brb i have to cry now

"im sorry if that's a little bit creepy" "you are creepy" in this scene where they're soaked from the rain. ofmd said this prince ricky guys is creepy and wet.

stede's fucking FACE when prince ricky says "you're my hero" his fucking "clearly you dont own an air fryer" face I CANT STAND HIMMMMMM (affectionate)

prince ricky "these rubes" "men of our standing" yeah i cant fucking stand this guy (derogatory) i love how he's barely even in this episode

stede's face when the swede is talking abt how happy he is with jackie... my man believes in love so much im gonna cry

also in what fucking way does the swede owe them a life debt. roach and buttons literally tried to eat him

izzy's "you know me better than anyone knows me and i daresay the same about you" this is literally so false i dont even know where to begin. izzy in e6 being like "if i didnt know any better i'd think maybe ed might possibly maybe be actually enjoying bonnet's company" while ed and stede are giggling and making each other friendship bracelets. this guy doesn't know ed at all.

also i cant get over how izzy wont make eye contact he's like staring blankly into the middle distance delivering these lines so flatly until he goes to say "i have... love for you" and in that moment he looks like he'd rather ed were feeding him more toes.

"im worried about you, we all are" not gonna lie my dude you've had a weird way of showing it thus far. where was all that worry when you told him he was better off dead than wearing a robe and singing songs?? where was that fucking love then?

and NOW izzy wants to talk it through. izzy literally voted to make blackbeard great again and now he wants to give open communication a chance???

lmao there's a limit to how many characters can be in a bulleted list so here's fucking. part two. on the same post:

ed asking everyone if the vibe is poisonous and fang cant stop crying and ed's face is just like "eh good enough" im fdhksgfkjtdkh

anyway ed with a loaded gun under his chin talking to himself is hurting me so fucking much actually. ed my beloved babygirl for whom i would die. this poor traumatized man. yes he is making this workplace toxic as hell but god. GOD. im gonna throw up.

the way ed is so fucking casual about shooting izzy in the leg. just calm and jovial as he promotes frenchie to first mate. stepping over izzy all crumpled on the floor. everything about this is so fucking good. i mean it's horrible for ed and everyone around him but for me watching the show this shit is DELICIOUS. i love when the pirates get violent and unhinged i love when this shit gets fucked up. ed's mental state is so bad right now and it is causing me severe anguish but also it is so tasty. fuck.

anyway frenchie trying to turn down the promotion fhjkghdfjkhf

the cut to the swede performing the husbandly duties is INSANE. COMPLETE TONAL WHIPLASH. I LOVE THIS SHOW.

"fuck those hammies up!" spanish jackie i love you

black pete why are you so fucking loud AND WHY WOULD YOU JIX IT LIKE THAT???

why is prince ricky so small. he's like a full head shorter than stede. also this guy is insufferable i love how stede just fucking abandons him fhjkgdhkdfghkj

"the calf muscle is the most mysterious of alllll the muscles" what the FUCK does that even mean. oh swede i will miss you

NOSE REMOVAL FUCK YES. I LOVE THIS SHOW.

obsessed with the swede playing dumb. the dramatic gasp. "wow, so bad!" fhjsghdkjf

"aint you that soup bitch?" "im the money bitch" i love women.

sfdsjkh spanish jackie being into double-crossing. and slapping the swede's ass on the way out. i love this show

i love how zheng says "this much indigo is worth three times what i paid" while spanish jackie and the husbands are still like, right there. and they just don't hear that bit. incredible.

OUGH the back of jim's weird rope armor looks like a ribcage that's so cool

i love how jim is so fucking bad at telling this story. i love how the monkey's paw comes into it. i love fang asking them to do the voice. i love archie trying to hold back her laughter i love jim and fang giggling together I LOVE THIS SHOW

ed's fucking voice breaking through his whole convo with frenchie. im tearing out my own teeth

HEY DID YOU GUYS KNOW THEY HAVE POST-CREDITS SCENES IN THIS SEASON?????????? WHAT THE HELL

i take back what i said about jim being bad at telling this story their version is so much fucking better. squeaky voice "I pray to you, Dark Lord, to make me real flesh! I want to be real flesh!" IM FUCKING OBSESSED. JIM I WOULD DIE FOR YOU

[evilminji]

For once! Purely BNHA! Because I CAN NOT stop Pondering It!

Quirk: Transfer.

Vague name, right? Well it would have to be. Because NO ONE would believe a Self Insert, even in a world of Quirks. They wouldn't WANT to believe. Because? The prospect would be horrifying and terrible.

It's far easier to say it's "Quirk Related Neurosis".

Because "no, no, you silly child! Your Quirk can't POSSIBLY have grabbed a random soul from another dimension, which it now holds, as the ONLY thing powering your body! You can't have died, with all the trauma and loss that entails, only to be shoved into the body of a toddler! Silly baby, such wild imagination! Maybe your Quirk 'transfers' memories, too!"

Except NO, asshole. They are the one with the metaphorical arm here. THEY are the one who would know which way it does and does not "Bend". But trying explaining a something to someone who doesn't want to hear it. Something that makes them uneasy, that is outside of their world view.

That touchs on the random, unfeeling, chaos of the Universe and how it relates to their soft and supposedly sensible lives. What do you MEAN sometimes Bad Things happen to good people? What do you MEAN sometimes, even if I do everything "right" and take every precaution, terrible calamities can occur?

That I could Die?

That my very Soul could be ripped away from it's rightful rest, too some far off land?

That can't happen! That's not FAIR. It's not RIGHT. Crimes are Illegal! You can't be telling me that sometimes people DONT uphold their duties! Abuse their power! That things are unfair and injustice can strikes, no matter HOW safe I think I am!

That's Scary!

I'd rather believe you were wrong.

That things Make Sense and there are Rules I have to follow. That I am Safe and you are just a liar. Bad things happen for a reason. Bad people are bad BECAUSE they are evil and bad. Let's not think about this any more. Let's talk about TV shows and take-out.

What a terrifying Quirk.

To be held, at the nonexistent mercy, of the Universe's randomness and decay. Reliant on the compassion and understanding of Others, to cope with what has occurred.

Because while the Universe is uncaring, your fellow man SHOULD be. Bonding together against that great and frightful void. Making sense of it all. The compassion of stardust and all that. Children born of this universe, who in turn look back and observe it. Yet? To them you are either mad... or a liar.

Do they hide it fast enough? Do they even think too, in time?

Or is their's a childhood being told "your past is nothing more that hallucinations and stolen memories" before being fed pills, for illnesses they do not have? Do they doubt? Break down and believe. After all, everyone around them is telling them their memories are false.

Not to trust their lying mind.

Children have so few rights. Madmen even fewer.

Do they lie? Smile, nod, and agree with whatever the doctors say? Do they know their mind or does this destroy them? Perhaps... they are lucky. Good doctors and better care. Long talks and learning to cope, with no one believing. After all, hallucinations don't "go away" just because you know they aren't real.

Why would their memories?

A childhood never quite forgiving the ones who locked them away. Being treated as "insane". Being alone. Not sure if you WANT to "make friends" but trying anyway. Because humans are social animals. Because you know what an alarmingly intelligent and self disciplined child, who ALSO happens to be notably asocial, looks like to people.

A life of fear and lies.

The chronic, extreme, stress, and what it must do to their health.

Does Transfer grow with them? Most Quirks do.

What a terrifying childhood. To know, one day, it could just... quit. A straining muscle that finally gives out. The Quirk that binds you into this body just... running out of strength. Letting go.

Maybe grabbing a different soul.

After all, no one ever said YOUR soul was special. And no one believes you. So no tests have ever been done. And that hold? How strong, you must wonder, IS it?

Do they drift? In and out. Does their body suffer, from stress and a soul barely bound to it? Poorly transfered, by an Infants first manifestation? Why was it a SOUL? The first thing they Transfered? Was it based on need? Or was it always meant to be this way?

Can the Transfer other things, now? Or still just themselves? Still nothing but Souls? Is it even a transfer at all?

And what happens if it stops? Or gets copied? Influenced in anyway? Do they have a moral obligation to avoid those they know could be potentially killed by them? Who could potentially kill them by accident?

And, oh! Oh the QUANDARY of children! Quirks are GENETIC. Any mutation or variation of their Quirk? Will bring about ANOTHER. Do they have that RIGHT? Too kidnap another soul? Even if it's just to no longer be alone? Too condemn them to live when they may not wish too?

Their whole bloodline would be Self Inserts. No guarantee they'd be from the same universe! But they would be Reincarnations just like you. Born into a Story. One you KNOW, by nature, can never be peaceful.

Because a peaceful world is not an interesting Shonen Story.

Just as Batman can never truely win, just as the day never truely stayed saved, so too will this world forever decend back into chaos. So a new Protagonist can rise to meet it. What RIGHT would you have, to knowingly bring an innocent person into such danger, trapped in the body of a child?

I ponder the Self Insert Quirk.

How horrifying and numbing it must be. How crippling, the terror that, this? Is merely the beginning of a Tale that will destroy them. To be inserted into story's they long ago forgot, again and again, with no way to stop it. Forever.

Damned to be set dressing in another's grand campaign, even as they slowly go insane.

What a horrifying Quirk.

The Self Insert Quirk: Transfer.

@hdgnj @hypewinter @nerdpoe @the-witchhunter @lolottes @babbling-babull

[raspberrysmoon]

ok so. nobody cares but I DO!!!! so here are some fun facts about my biggest npmd au i curse the day !! :] names are colored/altered for their corresponding lord. red is 'generally evil'

it got long so. facts under cut <3 spoilers are very minimal but go check out my series on ao3 !! 'i curse the day' !!!! olease im insane over them !!

psst @bellqmione i did it. for you :]

- pete hates his horns with a passion. steph thinks theyre kind of cute when he doesnt try to shave them off or rip them out. pete would rip them out if he was sure they didnt connect to his brain like some goat horns do

- similarly, grace adores her eyes/newfound sight 99% of the time. until The Horrors. she cant bring herself to go back to camp idonwannabang.. or look the jerries in the eye

- ted has full custody over pete and acts as a pseudo parent. hes a solid 15 years older, and generally acts like a teen boy with pete. silly goofy guy who has some issues hes not ready to face and a tendancy to drink !

- jenny... is there. somehow. she misses ted a lot and genuinely wants to come back to hatchetfield for him. she just... can't

- steph and nibbly have a weirdly tight knit relationship. treats her like a lapdog. think a maltese with dyed-pink fur and you have steph

- grace is blinkys coworker. she has half as many eyes as him. blinky has 999 eyes. grace has 499.5. one of her eyes is mostly blind, but not entirely. she doesnt know this number

- richie and ruth Are There. so is max. none of our three know this. webby knows. wiggly and pokey know. they're the only ones. not even they themselves know that theyre still there. they lie dormant for now

- hannah, daniel and sophia are attached at the hip. the only reason sophia hasnt shown up yet is because shes rich and homeschooled. they see eachother more than their families. sophia and daniel are hannahs only outlet for webby, now, and theyre both quite familiar with her

- daniel can hold his breath for 10 minutes on average. hannah is the only one who can time him. this can get complicated when holding your breath stops time

- webby is trying desperately to reach lex constantly. lex is doing her best to ignore her, but its getting harder. webby needs something from her.

- grace has watched richies funeral 376 times. she's counted. she can recite to you exactly what each person says and does

- paul is having some trouble with his hearing after richies death. he wasn't that close with his nephew, but the loss is still hitting him. he can only hope its shock. something tells him its not.

- emma is also having trouble with her hearing. she has not told paul, and she will not tell paul. she will not be losing her hearing like her sister. even if it doesnt feel like thats the cause of it, she won't.

- speaking of, i made jane hard of hearing. i dont know why exactly it fits her in my mind, but it does. her and her family are mostly fluent or entirely fluent in american sign language, as is emma. she wears hearing aids

- the three learn sign language. from who? stay tuned and put your guesses down below ‼️

- alice has had vision problems since she moved to clivesdale a few years back. her vision was always bad growing up, and now its... perfect. shes having trouble keeping up the lie to everyone.

- bill and alice really do love eachother i swear. but she doesnt like him much. theyre trying. deb is too. they really are.

- jenny doesn't like the color yellow. she never has. teddy used to. she's not sure if he still would. it makes her head hurt to look at.

- pete hates pants. pete only owns pants. his basketball shorts are actually a pair of stephs, that used to be maxs.

- max is scared of the dark. this was a closely held secret in life. steph finds herself turning a nightlight on for him without thinking about it.

- max didn't have a funeral. his body wasn't buried- instead kept as evidence then tossed out when nobody came to collect it. jason, kyle, stacy and brenda had a small service for him by the lake when they were told he'd been murdered. jason was the only non-cop to see maxs' body after he was dismembered and left at the waylon place

- grace spends more time at the waylon place than she does at home. she finds a strange comfort in it now that it's completely off the market.

- the many quick-succession deaths put the waylon place and its haunting back into the forefront of peoples minds. the town is collectively afraid of it again.

- max is scared of the dark. the black is a very dark place. richie and ruth have yet to encounter the problem of darkness. in fact, ruth has been having some trouble with seeing past the stagelights in front of her

- ruth and richie have their own personalized rooms. a stage/large theatre, and a cozy little room with a fridge and a large tv. max does not get as pleasant of an afterlife as this.

- jerry grew up vegan. he's not sure what his parents would say about his diet.