#i also dont have the time or money to go to college. but i wouldn't want to go to college anyway just for a degree

[carcarrot]

crying and screaming and kicking and biting

[prettyboykatsuki]

OMG PLEASE ELABORATE IF YOU WANT NO PRESSURE THIS IS A CONCEPT (big bro deku)

★ cw ; incest (like. hard incest they grew up together and share a mom), unspecified age gap, bad relationships (reader has shitty bf) dark content in general please don't read if it squicks u ! ! !, deku justifies a lot of this to himself jksddjsk, fem!reader

★ wc ; 1.8k (?!??!?!)

★ a/n ; i use the word nii-san in this context which i dont usually do but i couldnt work around it but it's not meant to be sexual !! it's just like what they call each other and it's important to clarify in this instance bc i dont like using honorifics in a specifically sexualized context i just couldnt think of an english replacement

also. not proud of this one. sjkdfjkaskdjhdfsjka. oh boy.

★ synopsis ; to your big brother deku, your unyielding love is a gift from god.

it's just that. everything about dekus character is about responsibility. it's a burden he bears, one that he has to his whole life no matter what. and i think in the instance of being dekus little sister - he's going to take his role, so very seriously. maybe too seriously.

it's . such a specific complex. such a weighted word. especially when you consider that deku was spending a lot of time as a kid being bullied. it couldn't have been easy, a very lonely existence after all. he's so relieved when you get your quirk, and he spends so much of your life shielding you from his reality. even if he comes home with bruises or marks - he pats your head and tells you not to worry.

still, there's something so relieving isn't it? there's something so kind about it. you feel like a gift from god to the lonely and sad izuku. you're so warm to him. clingy. he fixes your plates for you when inko is out working.

you'd bring him the cutest bandaids in the house and check for fever with the brightest little smile he's ever seen. with gap teeth and sticky hands - deku is so relieved to have you. he's loves you so much, you wouldn't believe. it's so natural him to look after you. even where he couldn't defend himself, your honor was always protected.

and that warmth and need to spoil you persists as you get older. you cry when he has to go the dorms and he spends so much time consoling you. you spend a little time apart then, only really seeing him during holidays.

deku grows up by then. you're still the same to him always. he can hardly accept the fact you're getting older though. you still call him nii-san in that sweet voice and fall asleep on his lap. you ask him for money without thinking twice and deku always gives you double it.

it's hard on him to know you don't need him as much as you used to, is all. he kind of misses it. singing you little lullabies and going to take you down to the store to pick something out for your birthday.

everyone always thinks deku is way too nice to you. bakugou thinks that especially.

but how could deku not love you with whole heart? when you were the only one who seemed happy to see him since the beginning?

by the time you're in college, deku is a big pro-hero. you're young and doing something stable - and deku is paying for most of your expenses because he doesn't want you to think about anything other than your dreams. gives you a card of money and tells you not to worry your pretty head about it.

you grew up more independent than he would've thought. you were so clingy but now that you're old enough to drink - you drive yourself everywhere. moved out and even got a part time because you felt guilty for having him pay for everything.

deku often whines about it, arms around your shoulder and head on your chin in protest - but you always say the same thing. i've gotta learn to do stuff on my own, nii-san

deku wishes you didn't though. he's so delighted when you finally come to him for something.

it's a shame. you're in a big fight with your boyfriend (an okay kid, deku thinks. your highschool sweetheart who you moved in with during freshman year of college) and you need a place to stay for a while. of course he wonders why you couldn't stay with mom, to which you reply that you don't want her to probe you about it.

"oh yeah. mom is definitely gonna bother you about it," he says, laughing a little. you sigh.

"i know. let me stay here for a few days. please?"

"of course. you know im not gonna say no to you,"

so you stay. but you're miserable. and you don't want any probing he knows but he came home early and caught you crying in the shower. and no one is allowed to make you cry ever.

so he asks you during dinner, despite himself. and you complain at first - saying you don't want to talk about it. but deku gives you his nicest eyes and says please.

so you give in and tell him what's wrong. admit to the fact you don't think you're boyfriends treating you well.

and then it's a flood, really. you sit with your knees to your chest and explain everything to him slowly. how he changed now that you live together. that he flirts with girls and you think he even kissed one of your friends. you're so heart-broken, so frustrated. and deku is so fucking livid just listening to you talk.

"why wouldn't you tell me? even if you can't tell mom, you can always tell me.'' he says.

and you sniffle.

"you're the number one hero and so busy. you can't even date. i couldnt bother you with my stupid love life."

that's true. he doesn't have time to date, but that's different. you're different.

"you're more important than that."

"see? that too. you spoil me way too much. i wanna do stuff on my own sometimes. i'm not a little kid anymore,"

"you'll always be my beloved baby sister," he says, jokingly. mostly, anyway. you smile despite your tears.

"idiot nii-san,"

and there's a moment of silence where you process it all, before laughing to yourself.

"i feel better now that it's off my chest. i'm gonna break up with him i think but i wanna get my ducks in a row first so,"

"stay as long as you need," he offers. warm. soothing. tender like always. you look like you're gonna cry again so deku comes over to you, scooping your trembling form up in his arms. there's nothing particular about it, nothing strange.

what he said was honest after all. no matter what, you'd always be his lovely little sister. he loves you more than practically anything and he'd give you the world if he asked.

after your sobbing halts, you pull away and laugh a little humorlessly. he hums.

"im not entirely over it but some stuff about him is so stupid, im a little relieved,"

"like what?"

you snort.

"he's an awful kisser. like awful. it's way too rough and i never liked doing it with him," you say, amused.

deku feels his heart thump where he stands. you look up at him.

he knows it's wrong even when the thought passes by him briefly. it's not the first time in his life that he's considered such things. such actions. your his little sister and it's wrong. so, so wrong to think of you in any that would be defiling you.

but there's another, louder part of him. that thinks it's a damn shame that a worthless bastard like that got to do what he couldn't. he would never treat you like that, because he loves you so much. he would be so gentle, and so - when his hand goes to cup your face.

he doesn't know what it is that time, that overwhelms him so much. but he just thinks you should know he loves you.

when deku kisses you, it's like the entire world stops. everything halts. and when you don't pull away, but instead kiss him back - all of what was keeping him restrained snaps in an even half.

when he pulls away, the first reaction is panic. but you don't look at him any different. just blink - so soft, innocent and pretty. so familiar. so trusting.

you call him familiarly, but he shakes his head.

"try saying izuku,"

"that's embarassing,"

"it's not. just once, okay?"

"i...izuku,"

"good. you did great," he says, warm squeeze. you shake your head and pull away. you look just like you used to. dependent in the way he used to adore so much, hand on his forearm.

"that's...is this okay...?"

"if we're both okay with it then it's fine, right? would i ever lie to you?"

and you look to your lap.

"no, you wouldn't. it's fine if it's you"

his heart squeeze. and you still look nervous so deku pets your hair, another familiar gesture.

"do you want me to touch you? make it all go away?"

you look alarmed first, but then the embarrassment settles i. it's cute to see you like that. but you nod, and deku kisses the top of your head. the truth is, he feels a little guilty. you've always been so willing for him because you trust him so much.

but he loves you, so isn't this much okay? to treat you kindly, could it really be some sort of sin. why can't everything include this? the feeling of touching you is so electric. and it's wrong to some. but not to him. he doesn't care and he doesn't want you to care either. nothing matters more than you, and he's never been anything but so good to you.

why is it so bad if a big brother like him loves his little sister so much? you've always been so precious, a warm beam of sun on his beat face. if it's corrupt to everyone, it doesn't matter. if it can leave you happy, isn't that more important.

you're nervous. heart thrumming as he spreads your legs - reaching down the waistband of your shorts. you're looking up at him with big wide eyes, trembling in his grasp.

you're wet, just damp against your panties and deku laughs at you. you're embarassed. deku thinks it's lovely. that you're so lovely and deserving and he can give you so much if it's okay with you.

his fingers rub your little clit so slowly and he feels his chest go tight. you're divine. more sacred to him than anything and fuck, he wants to love you even more than this. to settle you on his cock and make you feel good on it so you can be even more connected. he doesn't care about anything other than you.

"m-more. please, want more,"

a shiver wracks through his whole body as he touches you, lowers his fingers into your pretty whole and fucks you open on his thick hands. you whine so nice for him, call for him so desperately that he aches to give you everything in more. you cum and he keeps going, intends to go for as long as possible. to make a mess of you and take all your stress away.

he's so hung up in the euphoria, he doesn't hear the door click. even with his vigilance the presence of another person goes completely unnoticed - too entranced by you.

he doesn't hear bakugou the door, on the other side of the wall his mouth covered and his cock hard. he can't pay attention to anything but you.

[devilmayfamily]

School vs DMC Boys

Summary: Because the fall school season is closing in and some of you may have already moved into your college/university dorms, I present to you all, the DMC boys vs you having to leave for school

Dante

"You have to leave?!", Dante whines. "You leave all the time Dante", you reply. "For like, a few days", Dante counters.

He'd rather have you home and will fight with you about it until the day you go

Helps you pack even if it means your a step closer to going

"You can always come visit", you say. "Dont give me that kind of permission", Dante replies.

Actually. Dont. Mans will be there every day to check on you until someone or yourself tell him he has to stop and leave

Has tried to bargain with you

"How about we live together in (enter where your college is). We can get an apartment or do couples housing", Dante says. "Dante, you barely have enough money to pay rent here. Besides, couple housing is for married couples", you reply. Dante:*slowly gets on one knee* "DONT!"

Seeing you get into the van all packed up makes him proud and sad at the same time. He loves seeing you go after your dreams but hates he has to stay behind this time.

He pulls you in for one last hug. "Write me, call, anything", he says. "Was planning on it", you reply, hugging him just as tight as he was you. You give the devil hunter one last kiss before jumping into the van, Nico driving you off.

Vergil

"You have to leave? Yes, I suppose that makes sense"

He keeps it in how much he's going to miss you

Helps you pack, always double checking things

"You're sure you have everything?", Vergil asks. "Im sure babe", you reply.

Has secretly packed you a William Blake book so you having something that reminds you of him

And some tea because he knows if he doesn't you'll waste so much money on coffee

"You could come visit", you tell him. "Visit? That does sound nice"

He visits once a month, taking you out for lunch or just sitting and reading with you in the surrounding parks or libraries

No one messed with you before, but now no one really messes with you after seeing that cold Vergil stare

Right before you have to leave, Vergil pulls you aside to say his own goodbye

"I will miss you my dear", Vergil says. “I’m going to miss you too Verg", you reply. You pull Vergil into a hug, tears brimming in his eyes. He clears his throat, trying to get rid of them. "I suppose you must start heading out", Vergil says. You sadly nod, looking back at the van. You give Vergil a kiss, running into the van before you cry in front of him.

"Crying Verg?", Dante asks. "No, just dust", Vergil replies, wiping at his eyes. Dante smiles, giving his brother a pat on the back. "You'll see them again"

Nero

"L-leave?"

He's like a kicked puppy like his uncle

Becomes super clingy in your last few days

"Nero, I have to pee" "But I only have these last few days to be by ur side!" "5 seconds Nero!!"

Sure it can be annoying but you wouldn't trade it for the world

He does come visit often but not as much as Dante would. Maybe once a week at least

Blue anthropomorphic wings has never scared college kids more in the their lives

"Nero you scared him", you chuckle. "He needed to get a run in today anyways"

On the day you have to leave, Nero is constantly going where you do; to the room, in the kitchen, on the couch, he's everywhere

After everyone has said goodbye to you, Nero pulls you in for a hug, blue wings also accounted for

"Im going to call every day", Nero says. "I know you will", you reply. "And we will have to talk for at least an hour", Nero adds. "And if we cant?", you ask. "We make up for it next time", he replied. You smile up at the goof. "I'll be back before you know it, dont worry", you say, ruffling Nero's hair. You both laugh as Nero attacks you in kisses before loading up into the van.

V

"Haha! You have to live in some crummy ol' dorm room!", Griffon squawked out. V held onto the birds beak, fighting the bird to shut up

Griffon is gonna make as many jokes as possible about you leaving. They wont cross any boundaries but they will make you roll your eyes at the bird

Shadow gives you extra loving on the coming days of you leaving

V is helping you pack (when you aren't laying under Shadow)

He packs you all kinds of tea when you're not looking

"Who's this in the picture y/n?", your roommate asks. "That's my boyfriend", you reply, smiling fondly at the photo sitting on your desk. You were able to get a photo of V just admiring the world around him.

You brought a few photos of V and you to have as decor. It didn't help that V was the first to sneak a photo in your suitcase

V comes by once a month to take you out and away from studying all the time. He understands it's important but so is your mental health (get some rest guys)

Everyone on campus is curious about your mysterious boyfriend but Griffon is good at keeping them in line

Speaking of Griffon, the bird can't not visit you

He jokes about you being away but he secretly misses you a lot too

He visits almost as much as Dante would

"Griffon, you can't be here", you scolded the bird. "Who said so? I'm just checking on you", he replied. "That's what you said yesterday", you reminded him. Griffon didn't answer, just snuggled up next to you.

Your poor roommate had to get accustomed to a giant bird coming in through the window almost every day very quickly.

On the day you had to go, all the familiars were out, hugging you and saying goodbye

Nightmare doesnt want to let you go but knows he has to

"Alright you three, they got to go", V says to his familiars. They whine but return to their master nonetheless. "We will miss you", V says, finally able to say his own goodbye. "I know you will", you reply. V pulls you in for a hug, one you know you'll miss. Reluctantly you let go of the man, getting one more kiss from him before jumping into the van. Griffon flies along side the van just to make sure you get there safe.

[serial-tickler]

15 questions for 15 friends:

Thanks for the tag @androgynousangeldreamland 😌

1. Were you named after anyone?

Nope! Not as far as I know!

2. When was the last time you cried?

Honest answer? A couple days ago. I've been struggling lately, but we keep marching on 🫡

3. Do you have kids?

No, I don't have any kids! But I'd love to have them one day 😊

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

I've played soccer, baseball and basketball! I know my way around balls, alright! (no diddy 🤣)

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Occasionally, I wouldn't say I'm lost in the sarcasm-sauce though!

6. What is the first thing you notice about people?

Probably the way they carry themselves, if that makes sense? Whether they seem confident or whether they don't, stuff like that. I think that's the first thing I notice.

7. What's your eye color?

I've got blue eyes, but not from the spice! ✨️🪱 (if you get the reference, you're my type of person 😉)

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Oh lord... that's such a hard one!! I love horror movies... I even go as far as to watch them all alone in complete darkness 🤣😎 but if someone put a gun to my head I'd probably pick happy endings! (and not just cuz i'd want it to end happily for me!! 🤪)

9. Any talents?

Hmmm... I'm naturally good with money, is that a talent? 😂 my aunt always says "you have both Dutch and Chinese blood. You were destined to be good with money!" However, not everyone in the family seems to have that talent lmao! I feel like I'm also a pretty good cook, among other things, and I have a pretty dang good memory (which can be both a blessing and a curse tbh haha)

10. Where were you born?

Born and raised in Holland 🌷🧀🍃 (I was actually born in the house I live next to rn)

11. What are your hobbies?

I love reading, writing, playing video games, hanging out with friends, being in nature and stargazing! 🌟

12. Do you have any pets?

I've got a doggo and a lil lovebird! 🐶🦜

13. How tall are you?

I believe I'm like 5'10", maybe a bit taller depending on the shoes I'm wearing!

14. Favorite subject in school?

Hmmm, it's been a while, but I really loved biology! Wanted to become a biologist for a little while. Unfortunately, I dropped out of chemistry (because I SUCKED at it) but that was before I found out I needed it to study biology in college 😅😂

15. Dream job?

I want to be involved in a lot of different things. I love growing food, writing, tech, nature, art, and the list keeps going tbh!! My dream job would be to be involved in many different things! I hope to make enough money to be able to do so one day 😌

Whoever reads this, join in and pass it on if you can! But don't feel obligated! I dont even have 15 mutuals on here, so i'm tagging a handful of people I think are cool! @ticklishsoftie @sensitivemarie @hunnybunny2424 @biggirlpositive @dreamykirb @daisylovestickles @noonejustr

[away-ward]

Were you surprised how much Rika and the others depend on Alex? 

Rika? No. They're friends, and Rika needs those bonds.

The others? It was unbelievable how much this woman is able to do. Not that there aren't incredibly accomplished people out there, but the amount of work she gets done for the group + plus keeping up with her own clients + going to college full time + having a social life, and she's still happy. And not taking drugs? And she does it all successfully, never dropping a ball or failing a task? It's just a huge reach for me.

-

OMG THIS! K.O., you perfectly nailed the reason why i found alex's char so questionable. And as a sex worker who frequents drugs and have access to the prostitution and sex work industry, youre telling me she can "stay pure"? While being surrounded by sketchy people who makes money off of preying on young women like her, and selling drugs under table? Her lifestyle literally influences the way she interacts with people, and that is just one word: ugky. And in this case, unrealistic AF.

one thing that i hate so much about authors writing about the sex work industry, escorting, and all those extreme works that normal citizens dont even get access to, is that these authors dont know shit about that world and have sensitivity readers to consider the behavior and opinion of people wprking in that industry itself. Not all sex work is just from OnlyFans and clearly Alex HAD done a lot of sketchy things behind her family's back, so why was she still pure? Even Rika knew that Alex worked for them? So?

idk man, i'm confused. For all these rise about sex working positivity, you would've thought PD would approach this topic with more nuances, because it IS a very complex issue, but nah, not only that Alex's lifestyle and job were not shown to be impacting her emotions a lot other than her being angry at Emmy for aydin's fault in nightfall, we only see her only as a plus when her friends want to have orfies. What about this screams empowerment? Istg if PD just did more research about how escorting, sex industry and porn industry work, Alex's character wouldn't have been so romanticised, and painted as "others". She would've ugly sides just like everyone else,

which is why i hoped PD wrote at least one POV in her behalf. Which i bet, 100% weren't so feminist or women-supporting of her due to the competition among women who are richer, prettier, smarter, chosen than her that she had to face at least since she was 18 with that ex-friend Aurora. Aurora was painted as the crazy girl, but alex WAS the homewrecker. And if alex can fight emmy for stupid shit in nightfall while lauding to everyone how a bitch emmy was even when she wasnt right, why would we trust her words when it comes to Aurora? Alex was messy s fuck! And this is a common problem among escort, and sex workers because their vile and vicious industry out women against another and men around them laugh at them while they fund their lifestyles. It's truly saddening for young women to be caught into this, but it's a reality for many.

which is also why i feel like PD glossed over this aspect, because we could at least get one explaination about how insensitive alex was to her FRIEND, emmy in nightfall. Because to a lot of workers in this industry, this is their norm. Fights, slamders, cheating, and pose emmy's friendship with her that started well from the start until the end a unique dynamic among her other relationships in life. Made me angry when alex was always fighting emmy for everything that aydin but never once hurt aydin or will in the process. She wasn't the feminist figure that everyone thought she was. But then everyone had low as fuck standards, so ofc, just like winter, her misogyny was overlooked.

i'm sure if we get an alex pov, we probably would've explored this side of her as a sex worker more, and how her relationship with men are different than women since she had to always buddy up with men, and hurt their gfs or be in competition with them. Alex's first interaction with all the horsemen's wives always interesting to me because you can see where these girls came from, how they were risen up in family, and what kind of person they chose to be to strangers, especially women that looked like are in "competition" with them. Which obviously made me love Emory even more. I think this point of Emory treating the girls well has been said many times, but it's truly sad that this is even an outlier, it should)ve been the standard. Which also made me like the dark verse series more because of the genuine supportive female relationships in that series.

in conclusion, i dont mind reading about nasty fmcs or women because in a dark romance, i dont hold fmcs to a higher standard than their male counterpart, but for stupid reasons? These characters almost dont want people to like them at this point because they all sound shallow and stupid as fuck. For them to still be stupid and nasty (especially from one women to another, and one men to another) for no reason while already having 7-8 members in the family? No braincells? WTF? I love dark romance, but it's hard to find the ones that truly makes it good and smart, because even the dark verse has a problem with the grammar and writing style. Ugh idk.

have you wver thought of alex's character in this angle, K.O.? I'm surprised nobody ever discussed this point.

And as a sex worker who frequents drugs and have access to the prostitution and sex work industry, youre telling me she can "stay pure"?

Sooooo. . . I was actually just talking about, like uh, Adderall.

You’re telling me she was able to do all of that with out taking some sort up upper, was my take. There's no way that girl is doing all of that, without some help, and taking care of herself.

I’m not aware of the specifics of the sex work industry. Most of what I know, which is little, is gleaned from the small exposure I have from social media. It’s either portrayed as the worst decision someone every made, forever giving them self-esteem and trust issues, or their way to freedom and the best decision they ever made. This is why I’ve never made an issue about Alex being a sex worker. She always said it was just a job and that she intended to quit someday, and I took her word for it.

My issue with Alex’s sex life is that she makes everything about it. I can’t get these moments out of my head. Like when something was going on, and Banks walked in on Alex with Lev, distracting him from what he was supposed to be doing, and Banks had to tell Alex ‘no’. Alex got pouty, if I remember.

Rika telling someone that when Alex is thinking about sex, someone is getting laid.

Alex asking who’s available for her with they’re on the yacht and all the other couples pair off. Banks and Rika need to reassure her that she can have access to the crew and Lev. Which made Alex feel like it was her birthday and Christmas rolled into one.

Again, not fully informed on the specifics, but it comes across as if she’s a borderline sex addict. As if as soon as the idea occurs to her, she has to act on it. She can't go one night without sex, and it doesn't matter who with. It doesn't feel like sex positivity. It feels like unhealthy behavior and a coping mechanism. Which, maybe it is to cover up how empty her life is without Aydin.

And then, in Conclave, to turn in around and have Alex express sadness that she ended up in this position almost by accident. But, still, she would never change it. Despite her doing all that work for the group, despite Rika pointing out that she could have a job where she doesn’t have to sell herself for $500 an hour, she always vehemently refuses to give it up because “there’s nothing wrong” with what she does.

Two things can be true at once, I guess. But it reads as a conflicting character to me. The fact that it’s not address leaves me with the impression that Alex’s character being contradictory wasn’t intended.

The “being pure” has less to do with what Alex does, but more of her personality. The idea is that despite everything she’s gone through, all the challenges she’s had to face, and the work she does, which is looked down on, Alex never let anything dull her light. She still approaches things with a childlike wonder and excitement. She still has a brightness and warmth to her. She hasn’t let the hardships make her callous. Therefore, she is pure and innocent, like a child.

you would've thought PD would approach this topic with more nuances

I don’t expect PD to approach anything with nuance. And that’s not a dig at them. There’s plenty of authors that I expect will do mid-level research for their plot, and will get some things right and some things wrong. In fact, a good way to do research is to search "What does Hollywood get wrong about –" because there’s a good chance someone who actually does have experience with that topic will be ranting about it online.

What I expect is nuance with the characters. Alex had the potential to be an interesting character, but like Rika and Damon, reaches levels of ‘this character is so perfect it’s irritating’.

not only that Alex's lifestyle and job were not shown to be impacting her emotions

Like I mentioned above, there is that scene in Conclave where Alex does express her feelings about her job a little bit more clearly than usual. In Nightfall, Alex tells Will that she puts everything under another layer of lipstick, clearly indicating that, like him, she shoves all her negative thoughts and feelings away and only focuses on the good in her life. She pretends everything is good, like Will did before Blackchurch. Since we only see her from other people’s point of views, we’re only getting the side of her that’s happy. It’s why a POV chapter from Alex might have been beneficial. It would have given her some nuance, and readers a chance to understand her better, if they wanted to.

how insensitive alex was to her FRIEND, emmy in nightfall. Because to a lot of workers in this industry, this is their norm. Fights, slamders, cheating,

I guess because of my lack of knowledge about the sex industry, I didn’t include the sense of competition in when considering the dynamic between Emory and Alex. I mean, I know Alex wanted to “protect” Will from being hurt by Emory, because she identified Emory as being the same threat to Will as Aydin was to her. But the added background of having to constantly be better than other women to get and keep clients wasn’t something I calculated for. It’s a wonder that Alex is even able to keep female friends. It seems like that sense of competition should bleed over into other aspects. In fact, in the books she sees the men as competition more often, like when she told Kai he “stole” her threesome with Michael and Rika, so therefore she should get to have Banks.

Which, in a way, seems like another instance of Alex being above it all. Those traits affect everyone else, but she’s better than to get caught up in trivial and petty fights. She’s got better things to focus on.

But again, I’m not sure how that actually works, and I assume that it’s not the same for every individual across the board. There’s probably different experiences and perspectives.

Made me angry when alex was always fighting emmy for everything that aydin but never once hurt aydin or will in the process. She wasn't the feminist figure that everyone thought she was. But then everyone had low as fuck standards, so ofc, just like winter, her misogyny was overlooked.

See, this is not something that I totally mind when reading. It feels realistic that our actions don’t always match up with what we say. So having a character talk and act as if they always support women no matter what, and then have them targeting a woman (in this case, Emory) rather than the actual source of their anger (Aydin), feels like something that humans actually do.

My problem is that it��s she’s not called out on it? Or at least, she’s never framed as being “wrong” for it. As if she’s justified in behaving that way, when she’s not. She is being hypocritical, and having a double standard.

And maybe I’m just not reading the text deeply enough to see that Emory has corrected her, and that’s why the scene in the bridal shop matters. I mean, we joke about supporting women’s wrongs. But we first have to acknowledge that they. . .did wrong. . .? Which I feel like we do with Emory and Banks, but not with Alex. So it make it difficult to get to the point where we can joke about it, since the text (seemingly) and half the fandom refuse to acknowledge that it happened.

I think this point of Emory treating the girls well has been said many times, but it's truly sad that this is even an outlier, it should)ve been the standard

I really do appreciate that Emory never did treat other women as the competition. Even when she first met Alex, and Alex teased her about sizing her up, Emory didn’t change the way she treated Alex. There’s a lot more to it, but when compared to the other women meeting Alex, it does stand out as different.

have you wver thought of alex's character in this angle, K.O.? I'm surprised nobody ever discussed this point.

I’m also surprised this is the first time someone is bringing how her life as an escort should be affecting Alex’s behavior. At least, with me. It’s an interesting conversation, for sure.

[so-emo-i-fell-apart]

7 year old me heard Welcome to the Black Parade for the first time from an older cousin and really enjoyed it.

9 year old me is told they can't go into Hot Topic and they should not look like that or listen to that. (Note that I recently found out she gets someone else to go in there to buy me gift cards now)

11 year old me is told they can pick out a concert for their birthday and wouldn't you know MCR was going to be playing the month before with Blink-182. But they were given Carrie Underwood tickets.

13 year old me got their first computer and solely used it to watch music videos and interviews from MCR, FOB, and other bands (also marvel but this is a band post). Later they were sobbing because they missed their chance to ever see MCR. This is about the time they realised they weren't straight.

15 year old me for unrelated reasons was hospitalized for various mental reasons, but gets back into MCR and other bands from the pop punk and emo scenes after not listening to them since the announced break up.

17 year old me sees FOB for the pre-mania tour, this is a defining moment because they had never been to a concert of their choosing before (looking at you grandma). This is about the time they realised they weren't cis, also when they listened to hHessiant Alien for the first time and got Twitter so see Gerard's tweets on pronouns and things.

19 year old me is devastated they don't have enough money to get to the reunion show in LA (that 20 year old me was able to but tickets for the tour later) but at least they received hella mega tour tickets to see FOB again.

21 year old me has graduated college and is working in the medical field in the height if a pandemic. Tickets for every concert they have has been post poned for at least a year if not more. They also finally come out as Nonbinary.

23 year old me has become reobsessed with the thing that saved my life all those years ago and is still saving my life today.

I cannot express how much love and acceptance I feel from these guys. I will always stand by that My Chem and Fall Out Boy saved my life. And I've always been proud to be part of these music scenes because I've rarely met someone in these music scenes or alt asetics that don't encourage you to be you and keep fighting. And now I have more bands and singers like Set It Off or Yungblud.

I dont remember much of my childhood but I remember the music and the messages. And that's why I'm still here today

[moobytes]

very long rant about AI LOL

(fair warning, im NOT an expert on anything. j just research and read over these things. i wouldn't be shocked if any information is wrong, i just want to get some stress off of me. also i probably spelt 50 things wrong. it's like 2am)

i think it's time for a long rant about ai. i think it's at a point where you shouldn't be going "oh well it will be gone in a dew years" or " its not a thing you should worry about". it's definitely staying for good.

due to ai, i already decided that im not majoring in art once i get to college. im lucky enough to have several career interests, but this shouldn't have happened in the first place.

generative ai

man i wish ai was used for "anything" else besides generating media. you cannot be serious that an ugly ai "art" post gets more attention than creating solutions for diseases. ai CAN be GOOD. it's been around since the cold war, helping us develop all of today's technology. and now, it's being used for greed and money just because companies (not even companies, just really ignorant people who dont view art as a process) think of society/workers as just numbers, not people.

i always wanted to be an artist. i always wanted to study technology. i NEVER had the thought that AI should take over art. i understand the desperation of wanting a perfect final result, but in life, it shouldn't happen. your perfection should the reflection on your own success and growth.

ai is growing, but no one else is. you can "make" 100 ai generated prices and have a perfect replica of what you wanted, yet you learned NOTHING at all. you will one day ask yourself "how much have i grown?" and nothing will be there.

also, i dont think art is/will be dead, however i see it drowning deeper and deeper in the coming years. there will be hundreds of thousands of people who understand art. but millions more only care about the final result. people will eat whatever slop, as long as they can get it fast and perfect. sickening, but it's unfortunately the case.

im a BIG art nerd. i love watching behind the scenes videos, seeing storyboards, and seeing the crew behind shows/movies laughing and smiling. i dont want to watch something that was just created by stealing content and mashing it together

also this should be known. that shit is going to get abused to make p*rn. i already saw reddit think about how they can sell it for money. i think ill get banned if i said my response to this

the good in AI i really enjoy

okay i dont want to stay negative about ai forever. i know a lot of people say "all ai is bad" a LOT. it's probably because AI right now has just been about creating videos and photos, but there's so much good in ai that i wish tech bros would focus on more.

the development of phones and algorithms, (mostly in explorations, maybe mathematics?). obviously ai is already being used in both of these, but i feel like space exploration is going to get crazier each year. maybe at a cold war level? who knows.

every phone has ai, but looking more into it like samsung's new ai features... like their live transcript during calls and circle to search...these already existed really but adding advanced ai to these... it's going to get way better and become so useful, especially the transcript feature, my parents already have a tough moment talking on the phone with me..

i think medical technology would be great too! maybe not like elon musk's brain chip, more like accurate diagnosis, help run better simulations, and maybe help preserve medical records (hackers exist)? i wont go too deep into that tho since i haven't done that much research on this.

anyway i really wished people saw this side of ai. it hurts seeing what corrupt things we choose to do instead... overall i believe ai can be used side by side with humans, instead of doing all the work for us.

tl;dr, i think lead poisoning got us here

no but really. ai is here to stay. it's always been here, and it will get worse if nothing is done. but always try to stay positive the most you can, but it's impossible to ignore the presence of ai.

hopefully, we can get some hardcore laws (or even a ban PLEASE) on generative ai that makes it useless as hell. i dont have too much faith in it, but im not giving up the chance.

(random thought, if ai did take over, i think it will be because we stuck brains on them LOL. look this information up it's a little shocking but slightly interesting. but it's quite scary ngl)

[br1ghtestlight]

I am a teenager who is scared of adulthood, do you have any advice on what I can do to live a happy life when I become an adult?

I don't think adulthood is all that bad tbh!!! take this with a slight grain of salt bcuz I don't remember most of my life especially before i was like nineteen or twenty but I think the level of independance and freedom makes up for the new responsibilites, and they don't all hit you at once

general advice I guess??

taxes honestly aren't that difficult outside of like specific situations like if you got a large sum of money from somewhere outside your work or if you switched jobs multiple times in the same year. it's all automated now and you probably wouldn't even have taxable income so the government would be giving YOU money for doing your taxes (that's what tax returns are I think) mostly jobs take taxes out of your paycheck so you dont have to worry about it that much. people are overdramatic about them imo (and I don't think you have to start doing your taxes the minute you turn eighteen it's like. whatever)

if you have a job or source of income (and it's okay if you dont) and you aren't doing a lot of things that require money its good to put MOST of your money away until you're an adult bcuz it will be useful then when you have more exenses. I think my sister got like 10k when she turned eighteen just from her own jobs/savings

opening a bank account is a good idea. maybe a credit union. also saving any documentation like your medical services card, birth certificate etc will make everything way easier in the long run bcuz replacing those is a Long process

most people really do just want to help you and support you tbh!!! don't be afraid to just show up somewhere (like a bank, new job etc) and ask questions especially if you're in your late teens or 20s bcuz you're still pretty young. nobody figures everything out on their own and you aren't going to have government agents outside your door if you dont have everything figured out the Second you turn eighteen

until you get yout own apartment or job probably most of this won't apply to you. legally you're still Kind of a dependant as long as you're living w/ your family and even if you go to college I think??? and then when you do that stuff there are resources out there to help you with everything

JOIN A CLUB like at your local library they have programs etc or a book club. like 80% of adult life is just social connections getting you a house or a job or being a reference and I learned that the hard way bcuz now I have literally zero social connections. maybe keep in contact with anyone from high school that you can still tolerate (or college if you decide to do that) or coworkers from your job. just try to know lots of people its good for your mental health and life. in general. humans are social and they help each other

don't take out financial loans (like those "$200 for $20" places). very bad idea. also in general don't ask people for money unless you really need it and are 100% sure you'll be able to pay them back. taking money from your own savings is okay

go to food banks if u need.... food. its expensive nowadays and food banks have food that's mostly okay. I think signing up is pretty easy (I haven't used one as an adult) probably less relevant until you move out unless u have food problems in your family but yknow. its fine. they literally don't care

keep receipts from any large donations to charity or perscription medication and you can use them for your tax returns to get your money back (at least in canada. fair warning im Not american) also business expenses if you're doing that for some reason

eat your fruits and veggies :)

[ahhvernin]

How many classes have you taken?

What’s your favorite thing to draw?

What’s your least favorite thing to draw?

How often do you use references?

For traditional artists: How do you usually start on a big piece? (Light sketch, colored lead, sketchpaper, etc)

For traditional artists: what medium do you like most? (Pencil, charcoals, etc)

I took your basic grade school classes and one semester of a basic art class in college.

Plants, moths, butterflies, birds, cats, human models, Ryou Bakura. XD

LEGS. Actually the whole waist, hip, buttock, leg, foot unit. Took me a decade to get arms and hands to look "acceptable" in my eyes. It's gonna take another decade. So maybe by the time I'm 50 it'll be acceptable to me.

All the time. References are my everything because I don't have a good memory bank of how things fit or flow together or even how physics work together. Images in my mind are always just sketches.

Big has always been difficult for me. Actually my professor gave me a whole personal lecture to not be afraid of the paper and draw BIG. He once took my hand and charcoal and like a parent teaching their kid to write letters, he planted down the base lines of my self portrait, and said "DRAW BIG. SKETCH BIG. DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE PAPER. I KNOW YOU CAN DRAW WELL. DRAW BIG! NO MORE OF THIS ITTY BITTY FLIP BOOK SHIT! YOU ALSO HAVE A NICE NECK. DRAW. YOUR. NECK. DRAW IT." And all throughout the semester he would make his rounds among us students and would always go "MISS. C! BIGGER!" "MISS. C WHAT IS THAT TINY LITTLE ANT DRAWING?!" "MISS. C! I WILL FAIL YOU IF YOU DONT DRAW BIGGER! AND I DO NOT WANT TO FAIL YOU!" "MISS C! I CAN STILL SEE 70% OF EMPTY SPACE ON THAT PAPER, DON'T WASTE YOUR TUITION MONEY DRAWING TINY THINGS ON BIG PIECE OF PAPER!" So how I start? I just close my eyes and replay all his scoldings in my head. And then I put down my very anxious and uncertain base lines. XD

Pencil/ pen and paper. Acrylic paint is nice, but I don't really know who to use it and have only worked on it sparingly. Oil pastels was fun to use but very messy and I didn't like the feeling it left on my hands. Charcoal was great, but also very messy. Actually truth be told...I never had a professor like him, and I never had anyone who spoke to me like that when it came to my art skills. I wonder why it felt like he was trying so hard with me even though it was just a 101 class. I wonder if he figured out that I didn't need the class and was just there because I wanted to and it was my only chance to take an art class after years of being told I shouldn't waste my time on art. Anyway....the class was just satisfactory or unsatisfactory, but he said he would be at his desk if anyone was interested in the "Pointless letter grades I still scored you on because I felt like it." Everyone was a satisfactory. I was curious so went, I got an A. Probably one of best feeling from a grade ever. He also told me I was crazy for wanting to turn a Van Gogh painting into an ink drawing, and actually did a decent job. He said if I chose another painting for ink he wouldn't have thought of it, but I went for the flowers and asked if I got carpel tunnel for it. I told him yes, my wrist did start hurting.

[approximately20blorbos]

Ayo, it was really fun, so here goes right back at you! What's the latest song you've heard that makes you think about one of your wips/characters, and why does it do that? <3 Gimme, gimme.

!!! thank you!!

man this is actually kind of hard, my memory is so bad lmao. according to my song add history for my big playlist it was Choke by I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME, which could certainly apply to more than one of my characters, but when I played it back right now it made me think of Regaya more than anyone else. as a matter of fact most of the recently added songs apply to her so I guess I'm just fated to talk about he no matter what :)

so tw for murder, grooming, and abuse beneath here but honestly Regaya's past as a whole is a bit of a dead dove do not eat sort of scenario so PROCEED WITH CAUTION, I'm not really gonna sugarcoat things and I'm gonna hide this under a cut too

so this song makes me think so much about when she killed her horrible abusive fiancé, who definitely deserved death many times over, and a little bit how she'd love to do it again to her horrible abusive mother given the opportunity. but mostly about the former so I'm gonna pull some lyrics and talk about them for a bit

first of all, the chorus (trimmed down to the most relevant part):

I wouldn't hesitate to smile while you choke yourself and die now that would be just fine and what a lovely time, that it would surely be so bite your tongue and choke yourself to sleep

now this part kind of makes me think of the murder while it was happening more than anything, it just puts this picture in my head of what happened, BUT before I get into that I have to say that I love that it's written in the future tense bc this was absolutely a premeditative thing on Regaya's end. it took her months of preparation to not only have a plan and poison made (especially being under the ever-watchful eyes of her mother and fiancé) but also an escape plan because going right back to her mother after her fiancé's death was guaranteed to bring her back to square one. She had Embrist's help for all this of course, but that didn't necessarily make it any easier to pull off.

now she used cyanide for the murder (which she made herself) which basically prevents a victim's blood from carrying oxygen around the body (which is sort of like suffocation, I guess?). this was over the course of a little business trip so hiding the evidence and escaping would be easier. Basically due to a little bit of lore if her fiancé tragically disappeared during their travels over this specific stretch of land, no one was likely to look too hard at it, and Regaya could get off scot-free. anyway, she hid the taste of cyanide by serving it to him in sliced marzipan and she used far more of it than what already was a lethal dose, just to take no chances. I'm sure she was terrified this entire time but she was desperate to get out of her situation. I want to say more about how she was feeling in the moment but idk how exactly to explain it? I'm sure she was in the sort of hysterics that can have you laughing and in terrified sobs at the same time. regardless, she did pull off the murder, hid the evidence fine, and fled to the Crystalline Capital where she attended college for the next several years. I'll stop rambling on about the details now lol I'm sure it's a little weird that I have so much to say BUT there's another little lyric I wanna highlight for a second:

you get everything you want and money always talks to the idiot savants

so her fiancé was the sort of entitled rich businessman that this sort of lyric applies to, which is a fairly small detail in the song, but I love when little pieces line up with my daydreams and not just broad themes so it was definitely worth a mention!! this also kind of applies to her mother, who's definitely not only involved in "high society" but also is quite wiling and used to using any form of manipulation and even violence she can to get her way, which mostly has to do with her obsession over continuing the once-royal bloodline so that one day power to the family may be restored. (get over it girlie, your family lost power like 30,000 years ago. things change). she cherry picked that fiancé for his money, status, and family before Regaya was even named and said fiancé tried his damned hardest to groom her into the perfect future trophy wife but yeah, that backfired when she killed him. honestly there are arguably some parallels here bc Regaya's mother killed her husband when he started to realize how horrible she really was and tried to leave with the kids. obviously not identical situations here but I still really like to think about it.

to leave this off on a lighter note - don't worry too much for Regaya. her life gets so much better from here even if she certainly hit more tragedy on the way. nowadays she's very happy and in a pretty good place mentally. she's got a job she loves and finds great satisfaction in, great respect in academic communities for her advancements in medicine, plenty of friends by her side, a husband who loves and adores her for everything she is (especially her independence!), and the kids she's always wanted even if she's been afraid of indulging that dream in the past. so although her past is dark, things turn out alright for her in time.

so that was a lot and I hope it wasn't too dark but thank you for the ask!!! I was glad to have something to answer and this was really fun :)

[starswordneo]

Man, if I was in charge of the world, I think I'd be able to do so much good. I wouldn't want that power for the rest of my life, I don't wanna be a king or anything but like.. Just enough time to set things right and get the world in a better place

I'd make it to where people can marry & love eachother, regardless of gender, sexuality, religion, race, the only barriers being age of consent, and incest.

A monthly universal income for everyone, enough to live on, electricity, food, water, transportation, phones, computers, because these are all basic needs and things we need to live, with plenty of extra to allow us to get a few things we need, repairs, and a couple nice things.

Price caps on everything, re-evaluate prices of devices, materials, food and other things and limit their price to a max of maybe 5% markups? I'm no economist, but literally just forcing lower prices because prices have gotten out of hand. Also making it to where a single person working can support a family with plenty of extras.

4 day workweeks with pay that's good, as I've already mentioned, and workers being able to unionize and be treated well, those people are making those businesses money!!! They should be treated like the heroes they are, no matter what position. Every job, if done well, means a lot. To quote a silly movie.

People should be able to choose if they want children or not, and religion and personal views shouldn't be enforced upon everyone. I live in America, supposed home of the free.

The world should go much harder on renewable energies and making the world a better place, more gardens and parks, more busses, less cop & military fundings, better schools and education, being paid to do college and rewarded for seeking higher education!

People with disabilities, mental issues and other problems should be able to get the tools, medicine and things needed so they can live their lives better, and buildings should be re-renovated to allow access to everyone, more ramps, elevators, buttons to open doors, the whole shebang.

Of course, transgender people should be given access to hormones and testostrogen, and like all people, should be able to change their names, and have their pronouns respected, if they dont, let that be a crime.

Less cops and funding for them so they could be redistributed to better places, they're already overfunded to hell, and are sadly a very corrupt system.

The internet also needs help, limiting ads for higher corperations and enforcing maybe a maximum 3 ad policy per page, without the loophole of making hundreds of pages to force people to sift through. Intrusive ads that cover the screen or do things to your device should be punishable, billboards and signs on roads should be mass removed and left only for directions TO places, to get rid of visual clutter for roads.

Maybe if a website reaches a certain level of popularity, usage, and has shown its worth by staying around long enough, it gets government funding. Sites like Twitter, Reddit, Facebook, Discord, so on so forth, should be given money to stay afloat, with the only thing they need to focus on is making the site run better and be better, rather then steal peoples data and flood them with ads.

Websites should also no longer be able to store peoples data and be used to create a profile for them just to have malicious marketing. Tactics to shuffle stores around and other dark tactics should also just be made illegal, to prevent the exploitation of customers.

A money cap should also be implemented, once you reach a billion, excess money should be given away to the government, which would redistribute it to the poor, the needing, or to spend on things to help the people, like site costs, construction, schools, medical buildings

Transportation should also be looked in, more busses, trams, trains, should be made. Less cars, but not completely removing them. The roads will be emptier, easier to traverse, beautify them and make the world less gray, concrete and depressing.

Prisons should be completely redone and focus on rehabilitation and reformation, rather then using prisoners as slaves and subjecting them to horrific conditions that they're dealing with now.

Companies should also be reprimanded for unethical or desdly behavior, their pollution and waste should be punished. With enforced better pays, limiting prices, wealth caps, Companies should be forced to focus on quality and efficiency while also not being dangerous, and exploitive.

Homeless people should also be given a home, and with any mental or physical issues they have, be taken care of with everyone else with free healthcare and help to get them back on their feet. Things like airbnb, landlords and others should also just, not exist. People deserve homes and places to live.

That's what I'd try to do if I was in charge of the world. Once I'd get all that set in stone, I'd happily step down. Maybe there's a few more things I haven't thought of, but there's just a lot of evil and darkness in this world, there's probably systems and things that are corrupt but normalized in todays life, and despite all my wishful thinking, a lot of this stuff is already in other parts of the world. Just getting them all together I think would make the world a better place. People are free to create, live, enjoy, and not worry, and focus on making technology better, sharing love with your religion, educating people, and just.. be happy.

[axiolotl]

ohhhh just had an idea for a good personal essay about capitalism, fishkeeping, and infection prevention (and to a degree, my special interests/autism). will work on it soon but the conceit of it is this: (read more bc it got long)

ive noticed a couple diff reactions when i got into fishkeeping, and told people the actual requirements for a betta fish. some would express sorrow that they were tsught the wrong thing by society, and felt bad they'd done harm to a living thing. some, who currently had a fish, would go out and try to get better equipment - some would offer their fish to me, knowing i'd do a good job taking care of them. (most of the time i could not handle their fish burden, as a college student with only enough room for a couple tanks)

some, dismissed me -- if that was the case, then why do they sell betta fish bottles? betta fish vases on pinterest with no filter and plants in the top, betta fish prizes at carnivals, my betta fish lived in a bowl fine, i dont know what youre talking about -- its probably fine.

and i get it, to a degree - if what im saying is right, it means that person was taught the wrong things. they might even feel stupid for being "tricked" -- and that means they caused harm to a living being, something i believe most people would feel guilty about, and people dont want to admit-- to others or to themselves, and thats a hard thing to do. i get it.

but i dont blame the second person when tbe entire world (outside a cursory "betta fish care reddit" google search would tell you) tells them its okay. thats how betta fish live and survive, they'll be fine. and, surely, most people think -- in a just world, betta fish wouldn't be kept in plastic pint containers in the back of every chain pet store in the country. the amount of hurt and pain caused to living creatures would be unthinkable, and surely that can't be allowed? surely, since everyone doesn't meet the level of care that i say betta need, and those betta seem fine, i must be wrong -- if i was right, the levels of deception and harm caused by our system would be unimaginable.

unfortunately, we dont live in a just world -- we live in a capitalist world. betta fish on shelves in unheated, unfiltered pint containers with barely enough water to cover their fins are the norm. to sell you more -- to sell you an easy solution to wanting a fish. bc the work has already been done to make it a norm to mistreat these fish -- going with the norm, modeling behavior is extremely powerful as a species. its already established most people don't take all this extra care -- why should i? and thats what companies rely on to sell you more, more, more.

if every chain retail store did a complete education on how to actually. responsibly keep fish, the sticker shock would cause most people to discount fishkeeping as a whole. which simply wouldn't do in our unjust, capitalist society.

then id probably do a whole section how this relates to masking and infection prevention -- the power of norms, modeling behaviors, looking to systems youre supposed to trust, being harmed by those systems. if what im saying is true, then that means theyve caused harm - that people they know and love are causing harm, and the prospect of having to cope with all that harm is simply too much to take

id also do more hard research on betta treatment and go into the cognitive dissonance of petco; selling pint containers of betta but also selling a million specialized betta products (betta heating pad, betta food...etc) one shelf over, like they know the right care, and are going to get money off the people who think theyre doing the right thing by buying the special products. like they can get money from the ignorant, and then also from the guilty. and then even more money from the actual hobbyist. idk whay that has to do with precautions yet but ill get there. let it cook

[trckstergods]

if this doesn't post as a read more i'm logging off for at least a week

i have just enough money to pay for my last semester of college but ive been having SUCH a horrible time financially like Things Keep Happening like an ER visit, and my cat getting a UTI, and then i had to get a new tire of my car, and today my phone finally broke too badly for me to justify using it so I had to buy a new one. I've put maybe $200 into my savings in literally 3 months

and i REALLY wanted to go on a backpacking trip but that costs money that I dont have. i might be cashing in my PTO at work to afford something because I haven't taken any time off in more than a year (i have 90 hours of PTO if that tells you anything. I'd love to use it but all i can afford to do is sit at home. and what's the fuckinng point of that)

then if i get accepted into PA school (honestly i'm losing hope) I'll have to find $500-$1000 just to secure my seat. And what if someone gives me an interview but it's in person? then I have to pay for a hotel room and gas too

i have a counseling appointment on friday but i'm about to cancel it because it's going to cost me at least $75 but probably more like $150. and if I dont the first thing i'm going to have to say to her is "i can't really afford to be here right now so idk if this intake appointment is even useful"

oh and also I have to teach myself undergraduate physics because my professor sucks. I got a 65 on the first exam which is the lowest grade I've gotten since I decided to go back to school. got a 75 on an epidemiology assignment that i did today too. i'm ready to give up because i've yet to enjoy any part of this college experience except my art minor. and i could have learned the same shit for 1/4 of the cost at the local art center. fucking useless except to raise my garbage gpa. most expensive, useless mistake of my fucking life. I should have just been a travel scrub tech at least then I wouldn't feel stupid all the time.

[trapppland]

The Spectacle Symposium Review by Azurite

The Spectacle was a Symposium/ Public Speaking engagement that we attended for extra-credit after malice and discriminatory practices by a number of people. There are a few things at work in this showcase but the video explains it in-depth. We will use this post to attach the website and link with the ancestor that was shown at the event. We dont have anything positive to say about it after the Post-Op lead to us being illegally removed from the campus and our student housing. We were sent a fraudulent check by American Campus Communities supported by a very corrupt president of Student Affairs named Stephanie Coleman from Chicago,Illinois. The things that are going on at the Nevada State University campus is disgraceful and its time I reveal the parties responsible. The showcase was suppose to be some form of activism which didn't even happen, its obvious based on how little Christopher Harris PHD really cared as he was well aware of a on-going investigation regarding a student named Desean Brewer whom sexually assaulted me at another event. There is a woman on the Nevada State University campus whom is devotee of Ifa named Shartriyah Collier and uses it to control, manipulate, and seek harm to students and their mental health on the campus which is where the sexual violence took place. There is some very questionable physical and spiritual corrupt things happening in those mountains and the ancestors should do a lot more to see to its end happening ASAP.

The Black Elitist at Nevada State University whom wouldn't be there if it weren't for Christopher Harris himself, he is one of the longest Black full-time faculty at the institution which spiritually holds him responsible for their corrupt elite black secret society. With the privilege he (Chris) exploits isn't hard to believe. If you aren't willing to bend to the will and worship Christopher Harris like a God and allow your boundaries to be violated directly or by proxy of his minions you will be removed and placed in a very sticky web of bondage. If Christopher Harris was the ally he pretended to be none of the things I have experienced would still be happening today.

How do you have all these connections, yet are sitting back like a broken puppet watching my transcripts and rights to be violated ?

That is because Christopher Harris PHD was never our ally he was only a agent to extract information for the spirits of exploitation at Nevada State University previously known as Nevada State College to attempt to use to their advantage in absolute failure.

We have reached out to Christopher Harris numerous times since we have left the campus as the flattery didn't impress us anymore and as always his reputation and clout was more important than the success of the very students whom financial aid and money puts food on his table, clothes on his back, and power in his bloody hands. Christopher Harris PHD professor of the communications department at Nevada State University you pretended to be an ally, and a mentor to us and what all you ever truly were was a demonic entity in a aesthetically attractive meat body suit that played on the hearts of many vulnerable black leaders. You are what we call the root of failure amongst black liberation. You are a perfect example of the failure of Black Men in higher education the fuel of Black men degrading and humiliating the black woman in the media for the past 10 plus years you will never get a opportunity to steal our energy or power again. We bind you from harming us and that includes you, your work wives, flings, and all the minions in between .

We also take time to show tribute to a student that passed away upon the completion of these videos. The administrative assistant to the wicked and most clout-chasing of them all Derionne Pollard current president of Nevada State University and ringleader of the corruption with the most terrible energy, dont forget to look at her with a obsidian mirror as her aura is glowing from all the innocent souls she's collected from students through out her career in higher education.

The student in need of light and ancestral healing to escape the evil clutches of the people abusing the students at Nevada State name is

Emmanuel Ekigwe

The Second Video

[polyghostfacehours]

bestie consider poly billy n stu with an s/o who makes snuff films but like they just found the vids hidden away while their s/o was out I JUST NEED TO GET THIS OUT OF MY BRAIN

,Ooooooh~ Love, love, love this idea. Dark!Readers are always loved and welcome. So implied Modern AU.

TW: Homicide. Torture. Dark!Reader.

poly!Ghostface w/ Reader who does snuff:

---

So if you make snuff, it can be assumed you don't have a problem with their darker proclivities.

As a matter of fact, that was how you guys got into the relationship in the first place.

You started as friends, slowly getting integrated into their college friend group. But your darker sense of humor, love of splatter films, and generally chill demeanor when it came to squickier stuff quickly resulted in you getting along more with them than the others in the group.

You guys quickly became the three musketeers. Where one went, the other two usually werent too far behind.

Surprisingly, it was Billy that was interested first. And this is largely due to how enthusiastic you are when it came to gore in movies.

He also found it endearing that you would complain about how fake the blood or gore looked, or explain how certain body parts would bend instead. As if you knew...

Huh. He chalked it up to you just doing your research. And you tell him as much when he asks.

Stu loves gore, so much. More so than Billy even. You're the first person besides Billy that he was okay showing his "art project" too: The mutilated dolls in his attic.

He does this behind Billy's back tbh, because Billy would think it was too big of a hint that they're serial killers.

But he did anyway and you loved it! Said you wanted to help him with it. He was over the moon.

Big discussion with Billy about bringing you into the relationship. They had never considered being poly before, but they knew they both wanted you and they still wanted each other.

You know that GIF of Tulio and Miguel saying "Both? Both. Both is good."? Yeah, its basically that lmao.

So, after a bit of time in the relationship, they noticed how accepting you are of...pretty much anything dark they let slip out and stuff.

And this is where Billy casually brings up murder in the same way he did to Stu originally. He was 1000% sure you wouldn't mind and figured he could bring you in.

It was risky, but a three person alibi would be invaluable.

You decline, because your MO was different, unbeknownst to them. But you were enthusiastic and encouraged them.

You couldn't believe your luck at finding two boyfriends who also love murder as much as you. The odds are low, but not impossible, and you're living proof.

So, Stu loves to try and spoil you, because Billy wouldn't let him unless it was food, but you always seemed to have your own large amounts of money.

When they ask, you just mention its your parents, like Stu, and that you just get a large college allowance from them bc they care about your education or whatever excuse.

They buy it, it's not unbelievable. Stu also has parents like them.

But in reality, you money comes from your snuff films and streams. You stream in Red Rooms on the dark web and your fans are veeery generous.

And the films you make sell for ridiculously high prices.

You don't tell Billy and Stu about it because you dont know how okay they'd be with literal torture.

They killed, but they never tortured (much), and you just weren't sure if it was too far for them.

So every time they ask to move in together, you deflect.

One day they're over at your place, and you decide to go pick up the pizza you guys ordered.

They snoop around a little, and find a bunch of unlabeled tapes. Pretty old school, but they find a VCR as well. Strange.

They pop it in, and they are floored. Absolutely shocked. You're in disguise and are using a voice changer of your own, but they could still tell it was you by your mannerisms.

You come back and they confront you.

"What the fuck is this. Why didn't you tell us?"

At first Billy is pissed. He trusted you with his and Stu's secret, and you couldnt trust him with yours? Wow, fuck you.

You explain to them everything, nervous as hell. You tell them you just werent sure about if theyd be okay with the torture aspect of it.

And they are, especially Stu. Billy isn't much for torture, but he doesn't care about anyone but himself and you guys, so who cares.

Stu is over the moon at the news, asks a lot of questions, and definitely wants to join in maybe.

Billy doesn't really care to join, because he has better shit to do, and he killed for revenge or necessity - not pleasure - and any pleasure he did derive was mainly from the psychological torture. But he'll help out with other stuff if you and Stu beg him.

It basically becomes you and Stu's thing.

Billy and Stu have their murder stuff, and you and Stu have your torture stuff. Now it's just a matter of finding something for you and Billy to do together <3

[hqcult]

SWITCHING POSITIONS ## akaashi keiji

doms and subs are overrated. it's hella fun being a switch and keiji couldn't agree more.

. tw smut, switch! akaashi, switch! reader, some baby girl and baby boy calling, mommy kink, sir kink, drunk sex, unprotected sex (dont try this at home), oral (m receiving), creampies, slight degradation . wc 3.8k

the night is young. as young a night gets for two college students after finals week. while countless people from different frat houses have already invited you to come to their year-end parties, you never really enjoy that scene. it's too much of an effort to dress and doll yourself up when, after such a stressful week, you just want to wind down and get drunk here in your dorm with your best friend. 

plus, keiji tells way more compelling stories than boys you've encountered at parties and that's saying something, considering you had been drunk as a skunk but didn't find them funny at all. 

yeah. offense.

right from the get-go, you figure he's never one for small talk but there's a fondness in his eyes when he talks about his days as a volleyball player. he becomes more loose-lipped, sharing to you memories of his teammates and games. you really didn't care whatever topic he chose to talk about, you just know you'll listen to him anyway. it's great listening to him talk with that comforting voice of his. 

"you know," you lean your head back against the couch, cozying up in your hoodie. "maybe you should start a part-time job as a youtuber. you can be one of those people who do asmr videos or something." you chuckle, finding the random thought amusing. 

"but i'm already on a full-ride. i don't think i need to get a part-time job," he lies comfy on your couch. one arm hanging, hands over the can of beer. 

you sighed staring up at the ceiling. "lucky. it's hard maintaining grades when your professors are a bunch of snobby assholes who don't care about their students."

his knee nudges the back of your head lightly. "don't say that," he scolds. "that's bad. they're still your teachers."

always so polite.

just as you reach forward for another slice of pizza, akaashi speaks again, eyeing you thoughtfully. "well… maybe i can start an asmr channel and we can split the money i earn."

you laugh, torso turning around to face him. you bring the beer can up to offer a toast. 

"see, this is why i love you, keiji."

after clicking his can with yours, you turn around to have a bite of your pizza — completely missing the red flush on his cheeks, thrown off-guard by the strong proclamation you just made, albeit he knows you probably meant it in a platonic way. he didn't know what to say next so he took another swig of his drink. 

he doesn't know. really. what triggered him to look at you as something way more than a normal friend would. for someone so self-aware as him it's frustrating not knowing how and when his feelings for you even changed. because the only time he realized he was knee deep into liking you was when he was also at the brink of losing you. 

which reminds him… 

"what happened to that guy you were texting two weeks ago?" he asks. 

"ah, him? he's too… what's the word, assertive? intrusive? i don't know — it's like he wants to monopolize my time. like he wants my whole world to revolve around him and it's… kinda creepy actually."

akaashi scoffs, sitting up to get a slice of pizza. "you guys were only talking for two weeks."

"i know! that's what i'm saying!" you say, hands wildly gesturing to and fro. he's afraid you might spill the beer. "like — dude. maybe it's either he needs to chill the fuck out or i'm just not into doms. or maybe he's a walking red flag."

he hums thoughtfully, slumping next to you on the floor before dusting his hands off from pizza crumbs. "he's a red flag. obviously."

"okay but random thought: doms are overrated," you reach forward to open another can of beer, thinking out loud. "subs too. i feel like it's kinda tiring being a top as much as it is being a bottom. being a switch, on the other hand, is like getting the best of both worlds and who wouldn't like that? it's some good hannah montana shit."

now akaashi keiji can't help but laugh at that. "are you drunk? how did our conversation end up this way even."

you bump his shoulder, laughing with him before drinking your beer. "oh, come on. humor me a little, keiji. think about it. i'm right. aren't i?"

"and how do you know?" he turns his head towards you. "have you been a top? or bottom —"

"i have," the smile you gave him sent butterflies to his stomach. "both. back in my all-girls high school. being a bottom's not too bad but… eh, still. i'd rather just be a switch. it's exhausting to top all the time."

"don't i know it," akaashi mutters under his breath. flashbacks of all those awkward and embarrassing endeavors filling his mind. "guys are always expected to top. it's like a stereotype. can't i just sit back sometimes and follow orders, too?" 

he feels the heat crawling up his neck and it makes him shrug off his jacket, leaving him with the plain white shirt underneath. 

"i can give you orders."

akaashi almost chokes on his beer. 

"you literally just said it's exhausting to top."

you shrugged. "yeah, but — i mean, it is! it is but… you know."

he can see exactly how embarrassment is taking over your features and he wants to stop and move on from the conversation. he wants to. he should. but there's an inkling feeling inside him that doesn't because he wants to see how this unfolds. his heart is beating erratically and he can't take his eyes off you since that little comment you made. 

"i'm sorry," you chuckle, a dismissive tone in your voice. "nevermind. anyway…"

akaashi shouldn't entertain his thoughts. 

it's improper. you're his best friend. literally one of the few people who he's managed to befriend in college. he can't lose you. he can't risk being awkward with you. his not-so-platonic feelings for you should never get in the way of that. never. plus, you're both intoxicated right now and you were probably just kidding around. akaashi isn't that kind of guy. he respects you. he should dismiss the conversation but —

"then give me orders."

you froze. eyes widening as you stare at the forgotten netflix movie playing on your laptop, unable to look at the man sitting next to you. afraid of the weight of his stare. you didn't know why you blurted out whatever you did a few seconds ago but you never thought he'd entertain it. not that you mind, anyway. this is your best friend we're talking about. well-mannered akaashi keiji with the ocean eyes hiding behind those cute square glasses. 

the akaashi keiji you've been crushing hard on since you saw him at the freshman orientation two years ago. 

"would you… spread your legs for me?"

light rustling can be heard as the microfibers of his socks drag against the carpeted floor. just as you reach forward to push back the coffee table, akaashi beats you to it and does it for you. making sure to push it far so you won't accidentally hit your back on the edges. 

with one smooth swing of your leg, you're sitting snug on his lap. the rough fabric of his jeans grazing your thighs as your hands tremble whilst dragging down the planes of his torso. 

akaashi grabs your hands, stopping you. 

"you look hesitant. you don't need to do this if you don't want to." his tone is low, understanding as always. 

you look at him straight in the eye. leaning forward until your lips are all but grazing each other as you spoke. "i want to. i want you."

you dive down to start peppering kisses down his neck and you hear him let out a shaky sigh. you lick a stripe up the side of his neck before kissing the shell of his ear. "go on, keiji. you can touch me. don't you want to touch mommy?" 

you feel him shudder, his dexterous fingers mapping random lines underneath your hoodie, slowly raking higher and higher until he's saying "mommy, please take it off" in low hushed tones. the blush in his cheeks prominent as he can't seem to stare at you in the eye. so cute. so submissive. so stupid thinking you'll let him undress you so easily.

"did i say you can take it off?" you hiss, reaching down to cup him from over his jeans and shoving his hands off you. "don't tell me baby boy is being bad, are you being bad? i thought my baby keiji's a good boy for his mommy." 

"but… but i am a good —"

akaashi hisses, knees jolting when he feels you tracing circles on the insides of his thighs with the tip of your nails. for someone who just claimed they didn't like topping, you're doing an impeccable job at it and he doesn't know whether or not he loves it or hates it. when your sneaky little hands unbutton his jeans and teasingly pulls the zipper down, okay, no, he definitely loves it. the determined look in your eyes as you pin your gaze on his features, watching like a hawk at every furrow of his brow, of every sharp intake of breath, every time he throws his head back. 

"if you're such a good boy why don't you strip for mommy, hm? won't my baby boy give me a show?" he can't take his eyes off you as you smile, sultry, leaning over to lick at his bottom lip as your ass slowly grinds against his jeans. how merciless you are, when you gave him a peck and pulled away. "go on. strip and sit on the couch."

blindly reaching around the coffee table, you grabbed whatever beer you can hold before raising it up to your lips and staring at him over the rim of the can as he throws his shirt off. you suck in a breath when his abdominals come into view. his torso lean and smooth, siding a little more on the petite size with a tiny waist. and you shamelessly check him out even more when he leans over and hooks his thumbs under his jeans, pushing it down. 

you didn't speak until you saw the black waistband of his boxers.

"those, too."

he pauses, looking a little lost. "i'm sorry, what —"

"everything, baby boy. i want everything off… including those boxers. wanna see your dick throbbing. bet baby boy's already hard because mommy kissed his neck and gave him hickies, isn't he? bet you'll love it if mommy licks you all over, or when mommy rides her baby boy's cute thighs. would my baby keiji like that? would you? does my baby boy deserve it?"

damn were you good at this. the more you spoke the more it's making him ache and he wastes no time in shoving everything down. true to your words he was throbbing. the mushroom tip oozing precum and his dick standing tall. maybe it's the alcohol in his system or maybe it's the desire for you that he had kept locked away for so long, but akaashi can't bring it in himself to feel embarrassed. not when you're looking at him like you want to devour him whole. 

the same bright eyes of his adventurous best friend who's stuck by his side since being wide-eyed first years in this huge university — he'll probably never see you in that same halo ever again, already tainted by the image of you now. 

he sees you swallow, eyes never straying away from his girth and akaashi feels a little proud to have you looking star-struck. when you rise from your seat, his muscles tense in anticipation, staring at your hand as it slowly reaches forward — only to pause mid-air. 

akaashi looks up at you questionably and he sees the unspoken question in your eyes, asking for his consent. and your baby boy's answer was instantaneous.

 "please, mommy. touch me?"

the smile on your face was cocky. definitely cocky as your hand wraps around his girth, the other wrapping around his throat as you coo. "aw, how can i resist when you're asking so nicely? why don't you sit on the couch and i'll grant whatever my baby boy wants, hm?"

he mewls, leaning back on the couch and eyes you with lust. "like this, mommy?" he mutters, desperate. he even tilts his hips up a little to offer you a better view as you hum in approval, straddling his hips as you stroked his cock. 

"such a good boy for mommy, aren't you? how pretty." 

he hisses when he catches sight of you kneeling before him in between his legs, looking at him with the most captivating sultry gaze he's ever seen. "mommy's gonna give you a 'lil prep, yeah? so it won't hurt when i ride your dick, baby boy." 

"yes, momm — ugh." 

akaashi throws his head back when you finally wrap your lips around him. the image of your hollowed cheeks forever ingrained in his mind. his eyes fly close, focusing his attention on your swift tongue as it lies flat against the underside of his cock, taking him eagerly from the base to the tip. your tongue swirls around the head, sneakily poking around the hole where precum oozes out. 

"mommy," he whines when your tongue travels back to his girth, tracing one of the prominent veins in his dick before your hand comes up to play with his balls. "mommy — shit. so good… feels so good…"

it urges you on, hands retracting to wrap around whatever your mouth couldn't cover. his back is arching and you suck him with fervor, eager to push him to the edge, to make him believe you're going to lick and play and suckle until he's creaming around your mouth — only to pull away at the last minute. 

"no!" he moans, looking down at you desperately as you rise from your seat. "i was-i was gonna cum!"

you dismiss him easily with a wave of the hand, too busy shuffling out your clothes. maybe if you had the energy, you would've punished him a few rough spanks but you were far gone already. thoughts of that dick splitting you in half as you ride him consuming your mind like a plague.

akaashi groans when you hop onto the sofa and crash your lips on his. you never would've imagined kissing him this way. sloppy and wet and painfully induced with lust. the stretch is amazing, there was the lightest stinging sensation but was overridden by pleasure. he groans, pulling you close and peppering your shoulders with kisses. 

you grabbed his shoulders and started bouncing on his lap in a slow, stimulating manner that made you feel every vein and curve of his cock as it deliciously drags against your walls. you hear him wine. you hear him talk about how it hurts and how he can't take it anymore. how he needs his mommy to move faster. faster, mommy. please fuck me faster. but you ignored him, so caught up in domspace to see the growing irritation in your baby boy's eyes. to see the sudden shift from clinging onto you so desperately to gripping possessively against the soft flesh of your sides.

the air was knocked out of your lungs when he slams you down on the sofa.

"you dare ignore me?" his face is passive, eyes cold and steely as he pinned you with a dark stare. "time's up. i think you got a tad bit carried away there, don't you agree?" 

"want me to show you how it's done?" you shiver in excitement when he takes your wrists in one hand. his thighs flex as he gets on his knees before hooking your legs over his shoulder, thrusting his dick deeper into you. akaashi bends forward, a hand firmly gripping your face. "i want you to address me as 'sir' and nothing else, do i make myself clear?"

his low assertive tone so painfully attractive you clenched around him as he drills into you with vigor. akaashi chuckles, the low rumbles of his chest stimulating your perked nubs as it grazed against him with every thrust. "yeah, you like that? like it when i speak to you like this? ah, fuck you're so tight. you're pussy's practically choking my dick — look, fucking look, baby girl."

your head grazes his as you both watch his member disappear inside you, getting off at the lewd sight of the glistening sheen of your essence wrapped around his cock and the loud squelching noise it makes when he rams it into you again. you whimper, pulling akaashi down for a kiss as your ankles hook around his back, pulling him deeper as his pace quickens and his balls slap against your skin.

"see that? your pussy keeps sucking me back in. bet you're desperate for my cock, aren't you?" you never thought akaashi to be the type who's into talking dirty, you thought he was the gentle, vanilla type. but alcohol always brings around quite interesting things about a person after getting drunk. 

you cling onto him for dear life as his hand reaches down to draw figure eights against your puffy clit, eliciting the most feral of moans from you that could rival that of pornstars. "sir," you shudder. "please, sir. please."

"please what?" he grabs your lower back, pulling your torso up to hit an angle that makes you see stars. 

"please, let me cum! please."

akaashi clicks his tongue before raising a perfectly plucked eyebrow. "you didn't listen to me when i was the one begging, why should i listen to you?"

your hands wrap around his neck, sobbing against the crook of his neck by the sheer pleasure you felt. he can't understand your mindless babbling. all inside keiji's mind is the feel of your perked nipples grazing his chest and your plush walls wrapping around him so prettily. he never did it raw, having you as his first time doing it without a condom pushed him way over the edge than he wants to admit. 

"be-because — ah — i didn't —"

akaashi hauls you up into a sitting position, arms wrapped around you securely as you straddle him. he yanks you away from his neck, a tight grip wrapped around your throat as he stares straight into your eyes as he fucks up into you, feeling his balls slap against your skin. "what? cock's that good you can't even speak?"

he feels your hips stutter as you sob, tiny hands wrapped around his wrists. you didn't even try bouncing and meeting his thrusts anymore. "sir, please! s'too much! wanna cum —"

"then fucking work for it," he stils his hips. "fuck me back, baby girl. come on. you said you wanted to ride me, didn't you? bet this is what you've been thinking about for the whole night. that's the only thing my baby girl's capable of right? thinking 'bout my cock and nothing else? such a dumb little baby."

your legs quivered and shook as you obliged and pulled yourself half way up, before meeting him halfway and impaling yourself back down his cock. the first time you did it had both of you whining, akaashi quickly threading his hands through your hair to yank your face towards him. he wants to imprint this memory into his mind. to be able to merely shut his eyes and be transported back to the night you both were intoxicated and you let him use your cunt like a fleshlight. 

all sense of manners were thrown out the window as his ocean eyes memorized the way your eyes rolled back when he hits a sweet spot, the way your nose scrunches when the pleasure becomes overwhelming, the way the drool shamelessly trickles down the side of your lips as your tongue sticks out and he so badly wanted to spit but he didn't in fear of making you uncomfortable. everything. he wants to memorize everything. 

"just a little more, pretty girl. you can do it. together, okay? cum before me and you'll fucking regret it."

he grabs you closer, burying your face in his neck and planting his feet firm on the ground as he pistons his cock into you. it's not the heat of your body, or your pretty cries, or the lewd sound of skin slapping that made him cum. no. it was your sheer desperation and vulnerability as you bit his shoulders and yelled at the top of your lungs. 

"keiji!"

he pulled out at record speed and had made a mess on his torso but he was hardly able to register any of these. so fucked out and sated and content to have you sitting on his lap as he stares at your plain ceiling. he doesn't even realize you've dropped down to your knees and started lapping up the essence splayed on his torso until he felt the hot muscle of your tongue. "(y/n) —"

"what happened to baby girl?" you tease, a playful smile on your lips as you meet his eyes. "you were so into it, 'kaashi. you should've seen your face — well, i was… kinda into it too, anyway."

it took akaashi around three seconds for everything to finally sink in, to fully sober up and let the gears work in his head. the realization of what had gone down on your sofa, of the things he told you, brings about an embarrassment greater than anything he's ever felt in his entire life. suddenly, he's shoving you away from him and draping the discarded blanket around your naked form whilst politely looking away. then he quickly covers his soft dick with one of your throw pillows.

"oh, my god. i'm so sorry. this is a mistake — shit — i'm sorry! you see, i've liked you ever since and not as a friend and i swear i'm not the type to just —"

"keiji" you snap him out of it. "i like you too, okay? now don't go around saying it's a mistake or i'm going to throw you off the roof. do you want me to throw you off the roof? right. i don't think so. now, come on! get your sexy ass dressed, we're going somewhere."

"where... are we going?"

"i'm craving ice cream. so for our first date, buying ice cream at 2am!"