#i also have an obligation to commit suicide down the line

[baelpenrose]

Nihilus Rex 35: Escalation

Nils crosses one of his first major lines here. That plan about swatting a hate church comes to fruition. TW for gun violence. Also we're gonna repeat the disclaimer that we feel increasingly obliged to as Nils keeps escalating. Especially since this is probably one of the few actually imitable atrocities he commits. Hey, I know I harbor a massive hate for evangelical churches but don't do this in real life. It's awful, and just like in this chapter? It will hurt innocent people. Afterverse Studios does not endorse anything with this kind of collateral damage. The hate preachers may deserve it, the families they're brainwashing don't. Do not do this. If the morals don't convince you, the legal rammifications might. You will get caught. Nils & Co. have villain protagonist powers, you don't.

Co written by @canyouhearthelight.

Do you believe in God?

Written on the bullet

Say yes to pull the trigger

Do you believe in God?

Written on the bullet

And Cassie pulled the trigger

“Cassie”, Flyleaf

Nils

It was a few days after the party, and the preparation for the SWAT attack was ready. Gray had been in constant contact as we’d prepared the attack to turn the churchgoers against the government, give the Christians an actual persecution to be afraid of - and escalate the armed contingent against the police.

Now, I sat in our little abandoned mall, behind a wall of VPNs, and prepared to ignite something that set fire to my veins with an excitement I couldn’t believe I felt at what I was about to do.

Shot up gay clubs. Kids kicked out of their homes. Kids committing suicide because of peers and parents who couldn’t accept them. People dying, the word “faggot” or “dyke” or “tranny” the last they’d ever hear.

Today, retribution. 

Somewhere, some spoilsporting part of my mind recognized that I was about to cause a mass shooting, and I could hear a voice that sounded suspiciously like Father Rivera’s speaking that old proverb. Something about how those who make use of the devil's tools shall, by degrees, come to serve his ends.

They should have listened to you then. Today their tools are mine. 

I keyed off the bot that started the SWAT call. Pre-recorded. A hostage situation in the church. Then another. Another. VPNs would cluster the calls as coming from that area. After about four or five, with more and more 911 calls that rapidly hung up, I terminated the bot, and waited, my eyes on the screen.

“Keep an eye on online chatter, everyone. Things are about to get real exciting.”

The church’s own livestream let us watch what unfolded. SWAT burst through the doors, and the pastor found himself interrupted. A fanatic right wing pastor who had spent years swearing the deep state would eventually come for Christians, who swore up and down that Trump would save them. A gun toting flock, allowed to carry in church. Cops charging in, keyed up to fight.

I didn’t see who fired the first shot. I don’t know that anyone did. I don’t know that history ever would know, as we never figured it out.

What mattered was that in minutes, the screen was consumed with a brutal firefight between an armed SWAT squad and dozens of armed church goers. Before anyone was doing more than reacting to the chaos,  three of the dozen armored officers and a score of the churchgoers were down, some silent and some thrashing and screaming, blood covering them. As the Evangelicals were diving behind the pews and shooting, they began catching other churchgoers in their shooting, randoms getting it in the backs, the legs. A flashbang caught a section of pews on fire, and the pastor caught a round high in the chest, gore spattering the wall behind him.

Lash looked away, turning so she couldn’t see the feed from even the corner of her eye.  She hunched over her laptop, pointedly focusing on online chatter.  “Mass shooting reported… Nothing about SWAT, which is wild.”

I didn’t take my eyes away from what we’d - I’d - done. “Give it a sec. News will have to break the story. Bishop - what are you seeing? And can you seed anything? Ghosts of Ruby Ridge, maybe?”

Gray’s voice came over the call. “No need. Already there. Bunch of people screaming about how this is why they need guns in church, government coming after worshippers. There’s already a few militia types moving towards that church to fight SWAT if they can get there in time.” His voice was smug. “I thought you were full of shit, but you weren’t kidding. The perfect gambit to give the right what it needed to finally decide playing nice with police was making them weaker, not stronger.” 

My attention snapped. “Bishop, monitor police bands.” This was gonna get real good, real fast.  At this point the SWAT team was falling back toward the exit, though it was apparent that more damage had been done in the church by its defenders than by the SWAT team - something that would be left out by the online reports - the ones that would be believed by Gray’s crowd, the side we were going to be using for our muscle.

Bishop snapped up. “Police closing on location, more SWAT, normal officers.”

I took a breath. “We may have brought more fire that we intended on this one but no sense in stopping now. Drop away from live feed - follow comments. We don’t need to draw attention to the fact that we were paying attention.” I disconnected from the live feed and switched to news coverage - it was supposedly a “breaking story” and CNN was already scrambling to fill the air with as much talking-head-speculation as they could to draw eyeballs for ratings while they waited for reporters to get to the scene and for facts to come in.

“Left wing chatter is coming down pretty harshly.  The kindest thing I’m seeing is ‘thoughts and prayers’, escalating all the way to ‘how are those guns in churches working for you’ and ‘at least no one will protest these funerals’,” Lash updated from her view. “The trolls are out in force.”

Gray snapped. “Better than the lack of guns at most left-wing gatherings usually go, apparently.”

“Not really. This entire plan relied on undisciplined shooters in the crowd starting a firefight, which wouldn’t have worked in a left wing crowd.” Bishop said, mildly.

I listened to the arguments among them for a second, then snapped back. “Police are reporting they had multiple localized calls about a hostage situation in the church and are already looking into this. They state they are still looking into who fired on them.”

Gray smirked. “Of course. That’ll do them a world of favors in a community that believes the government lies like it breathes and knows most mass shootings are false flags. Who just survived a government attack on a place of worship. Them being told a terrorist who hates them took advantage of their weapons to get them to fight the police, and that it wouldn’t have worked out if they’d been unarmed? They’ll just believe that’s obvious government attempts to manipulate them into disarming. Thanks for the suggestion, Bishop.”

Lash smacked her headset to mute it and started muttering in at least two languages I didn’t understand.  I was still pretty sure she was either swearing profusely or wishing a lot of ill on Gray.

I muted myself and turned to Lash. “Okay, that keeps our pawns in line, but this is gonna keep the FBI on us, or on our general direction - this is the second time police and right wingers have fatally drawn down because of some kind of digital manipulation. FBI lady is gonna come around here again. We need to have Weasel trussed up and ready for her when she gets back. And we need to be ready for whatever bullshit she’s gonna pull on either of our families. Let the skull collecting enthusiast worry about the gun nuts for a minute.”

She turned to me. “We still haven’t solved for how we are planning to frame or hack the ‘King of Icebreakers’.”

“Socially, at a guess. Behold, our mark: A single, college age man, who would be a reasonably attractive twink but for his repulsive personality and lack of personal hygiene. Technically brilliant. We have multiple instances of stochastic terrorism in the last few months - and by right wingers who spend too much time online. Some of whom clearly acted out of a sense of personal despair and a desire to make a mark on the world. What other instances of stochastic terrorism does this sound like?” 

“Elliot Rodger,” she answered, immediately realizing where I was going with it. “It’s Isla Vista all over again.”

“Right. Now, with shit this high profile, especially if they didn’t already get us for the banks, the higher levels of the Bureau are probably looking for a way to close the case - that whole thing with the Anthrax back in 2002, when there was no way to figure it out but they needed an answer. It got pinned on a dead man inside the Bureau who no one liked, despite the fact that weaponized Anthrax was a closely guarded Soviet secret that American intelligence never quite reverse engineered. And, wouldn’t you know it, Weasel’s icebreaker was used for the bank job. We just need to socially hack him through some other means to get him to stick his neck out, a little, in a place where FBI lady might see it. The rest takes care of itself. Weasel’s a coward - he’ll dust himself in a panic when the fibbies come for him. Guilty party dead, no further attacks, peace and victory in our time. We’ll lay low and launch more attacks later - and they won’t be looking for the same pattern.”

Lash drummed her fingers, thinking. “While we lay low, we should take the time to expand our network to other countries.  Keep doing small hacks here - the kind of stuff we did before that just didn’t hit the radar - but also scale so they don’t seem as connected.  You got anyone overseas?”

“Uh…One in Japan, one in the Netherlands, two in India, a German, and I had one in Algeria but haven’t heard from her in ages.” I left it at that, leaving unsaid that anyone in this business who suddenly went silent in most of the colonized world had probably been caught and wouldn’t be back.

“North Africa, Mumbai, Philippines, and China.” She offered in a distracted tone. “Clean water initiatives invite those types, surprisingly.”

“The German and Japanese guys are both ‘ethics in tech’ types who really wanted to work on preventing surveillance technology. Both Indians were people who liked the stuff I was doing with education access - neither originally came from money. Side note, whatever we do here still needs to get enough notice we can keep recruiting - I need on the ground left wingers so our eventual plays here have people who answer to you, so we’re not just stuck with minions who break shit for Gray.” 

“Keeping that in mind and already have feelers out.” Shaking her head to snap out of her daze, she looked at me with laser focus. “Pronatalists, yes or no? We need to decide that early on, because they are growing in non-religious tech spaces.”

“Of the ‘people should have resources to reproduce instead of being barred from doing so because of poverty’ type, sure, of the ‘I need 80 children for my ideology, religion, race, or whatever so that my particular neurosis can be soothed or politically dominant’ not only no, but no in a phrasing that implies we think everyone doing that should be sterilized.”

“We’ll have to closely vet them… if you throw a rock in a Pronatalist crowd, you’ll hit one of each.  Probably the same person, to be honest.”

Bishop groaned as he stretched. “Advocating for access to housing and resources to have big families is going to draw them in.  You’re going to get them either way.”

I grunted. “Same bucket as Gray’s goons, I suppose. Problem for tomorrow.” 

I slapped my headset. “New shit, Gray?” 

“I’m already playing. Check the boards.” 

I groaned internally and pulled up the boards Gray frequented. Same trick - new accounts. One account was clearly meant to be the idiot - playing up the heel leftist, who was mocking the victims for being stupid enough to have guns in a church.

Another was playing a conspiracy theorist who was claiming that he’d heard a left wing terrorist had done this as a false flag to get the right and the government to fight each other because the heavily armed church would shoot at the cops and the cops would shoot back. A third person was already arguing with that, pointing out that the government was already auditing that church’s taxes, and the deep state had never liked pro-Trump churches. 

A fourth guy was saying the police were sick of the right getting wise to false flags and were going to try to make up a ‘false flag’ narrative for them to buy into that would end in them seeing guns as an exploitable weakness. Unsurprisingly, this was the most popular comment - a bunch of responses about how already they’d heard rumors that a terrorist had tried to set up the fight to get cops and churchgoers killed. 

I seethed for a minute that he’d gambled on that - then reflected that it had worked. Using nothing more than something that would be counted as wild speculation in court, plus police reporting, he’d turned the crowd’s hostility back on the government.  I was surprised it was working, on one level - you’d think they’d go in on ‘cultural Marxists used us and the government against each other’ but then I realized why they wouldn’t. Not one of them would ever accept that they’d been fooled or tricked. 

And I was perfectly happy to see Gray making himself useful. Making the truth a joke but in a way that would make these people useful to us. Picking up enough momentum we could hijack these people and make them ours. Beginning the countdown to retire himself from relevance. I was perfectly aware that keeping him around too long increased the risk of this whole plan going wrong, of him corrupting our goals, and I needed to make sure he was dealt with well before things really got going.

“Alright. Fibbies next.” 

Bishop shook my shoulder and gestured at the newsfeed. “Hey, Nihilus,” he said, carefully emphasizing my handle as though to remind me to tailor my reaction. Gray was still listening. “Prelim casualty figures.”

I looked at them. 

Sixteen dead, thirty-three injured. One of the dead and eight of the wounded were children.

“Oh, God,” I heard Lash gasp.  “They were babies.” Before I could say anything, she was on her feet and out the door, all equipment left behind.

I felt like I was falling, but I forced myself to not react. What had we done?  What had we just done?

[villruu]

I read your soulmate trope reversal fic (where you either kill or get killed by your soulmate with Alex and Tim) and for worldbuilding reasons, I'd like to know what are (if any) the legal punishmengs?

Long story short: You still go to jail, because a murder is a murder.

Long story long: In this universe, soulmates are created by literally hating too much (to an unhealthy degree explicitily). Soulmates are, like, an aberration, so to say? To have a soulmate in this universe meant that you could not heal yourself, that you could not let it go, that you let it transform your whole life, your whole sense of self, just to hate another.

There's a lot of people whose only job in life is to help mediate this feelings, like, therapists but extreme. They're usually an emergency type of deal, think akin somewhat to suicide lines. In short, in this universe you're supposed to be able to notice what is going on and ask for help. (which, in turn, leads to a whole lot of social problems in the modern day thanks to the expectation this brings onto people).

Each murder case is carefully reviewed and can easily take years to decide if someone is guilty or not. In the modern age where this particular marble hornets fic takes place, extenuating circumstances can lead to a minor sentence, since, i didn't exactly talk a lot about it in the fic, soulmates can be one-sided.

Not all soulmates kill *directly* the other part. Sometimes it can be just as simple as "you focused so much on *this* one person adn trying to take them down that you forgot to look both sides of the street before crossing". So, having a soulmate is not automatically a "this person is a murderer" sign but, a lot of people take it that way.

Usually, if you are too late to prevent a soulmate from happening, you're legally obligated to do as much as possible to remove all possible risks that you end up taking that other's person life. [Of course, it's not a perfect system, because soulmates are, well, an aberration. A poison to your mind, so to say. If you dont kill the other (or if they dont die) you will slowly lose your mind to the obsession of killing that other person. But for society, if someone ends up "crazy" bc they couldnt kill a person and nobody dies? for them its a win, so, uh, ykno, nice things to think about]

Depending on the nature of the homicide, it can be as short as 4 years to involuntary commitment for life [the case of the woman that Tim met in the psychiatric ward as a child].

In Tim's case, thanks to the nature of the Operator making society forget about its victim [a fav headcanon of mine tbh] the crime would never be found and he would get scot-free. Also thanks to the lack of body, and ergo lack of evidence unless someone finds the channel, Tim would never end up in jail, though he would probably end up having to change his name so he could live his life relatively free.

However, if Tim ever ended up getting charged with the crime, he would probably have to do between 4 to 8 years but he would probably have the option to declare extenuating circumstances (with the meds, the stalking, etc etc) so he could get free with parole after a year and a half or two.

Anyways, if Tim ended up in jail, i doubt he would live long tho.

But basically that, lol. I have a lot of thoughts about this particular soulmate universe and the way it works, and when I wrote that fic, I quite liked the idea of exploring how twisting a soulmate could impact someone, plus i am a nerd for worldbuilding

[transporttoanotherplace]

Book Review: Fav book of 2022?

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐✨4.5 stars

Content warning: child abuse (sexual, physical, and emotional), mentions of suicide, rape, incest, domestic and sexual assault, a POV from a character who committed sexual assault, and abortion.

Summary: Watkin's debut novel, Perish, follows the Turner family and the consequences of the matriarch, Helen Jean, who feels obligated by God to keep her child rather than try to abort the child again. Bear it or perish. Her decision has lasting consequences that ripple through subsequent generations.

The novel alternates between alternating points of view: Helen Jean; Julie B, the only one of Helen Jean's children who still live with her; Jan, plagued by the trauma she suffered as a child; Lydia, whose infertility has ruined her marriage; and Alex, now a cop who has a twisted, dark past that leaves him questioning if one can rid themselves of the darkness within them.

All must come together as Helen Jean's death is approaching and face the secrets they've all done their best to not vocalize. It's a painful journey to relive and with each truth revealed the heartbreak only intensifies.

Review (non-spoiler):

An absolutely beautiful and gut-wrenching novel. Watkin's novel masterfully explores generational trauma and the difficulties in breaking away from it. Each character is difficult to like as all their flaws are out in the open but you feel deeply for all of them and the trauma each character was forced to endure. It's a bold choice to include a perspective of a character who is a rapist but an appropriate one. Watkins never absolves her characters of their mistakes, and even demands that we as humans need to take responsibility for our part, but her added insight adds depth to the character that shows how we as humans can make our own monsters thinking we're going to do better than our parents only to repeat the cycle.

"She looks like someone who got everything wrong because she had been wronged."

The way this line shook me. My generational trauma is not as intense as the Turner family but I could read my feelings on each page. Understand the feeling of wanting to shake everyone and just ask them to talk. To beg others to let go of their pride and ego and work together. To want to run away and take my siblings away because it seems the only way out is to run. To feel disappointment, shame, and anguish at the realization you've repeated the mistakes of your parents. That you might have even done worse. Reading this inspired me to journal the night of and ask myself what of my own family's trauma?

This isn't an easy book to get through. Much of the content warning I mentioned is explicit and I urge people to be careful picking up this book. It's a worthwhile read but it can send a person down a dark hole very fast.

The pacing is quick thankfully and surprisingly considering much of the story is told through memories and the actual plot of the book is only about a few days' worths. Very character-driven novel. Prose is exceptional. At times I struggles with the dialect since I'm unfamiliar with southern dialect but I kept going and it became easy to understand. I hear the audiobook is excellent and has a full cast of characters. This could have been a 5 but aside from the first chapter, the beginning is actually a little tough to get through, and I had to convince myself to keep going. Also, trying to keep track of the characters and who's related to who can get confusing and there are some aspects to the story that I feel are glossed over. I know this isn't how it works out but I really wanted an epilogue for this book.

Amazing job! I know technically she's written two other books that weren't very popular but this is being hailed as her debut novel and I'm surprised because I'd expect this level of writing from a writer with several titles under her belt.

[coochiequeens]

It comes as the top UN rights forum in Geneva agreed to Member States’ request for a rare Urgent Debate on the issue this Friday.

Addressing the Council, Fawzia Koofi, former deputy speaker of the Afghan Parliament, said lack of opportunity and ailing mental health, was taking a terrible toll: "Every day there is at least one or two women who commit suicide for the lack of opportunity, for the mental health, for the pressure they receive.

“The fact that girls as young as nine years old are being sold, not only because of economic pressure, but because of the fact that there is no hope for them, for their family, it is not normal.”

Bachelet highlights ‘progressive exclusion’

Echoing widespread international concern for ordinary Afghans, UN human rights chief Michelle Bachelet condemned the massive unemployment of women, the restrictions placed on the way they dress, and their access on basic services.

Women-owned and operated businesses have been shut down, Ms. Bachelet added, saying that 1.2 million girls no longer have access to secondary education, in line with a decision by the de facto authorities who took power in August 2021.

“The de facto authorities I met with during my visit in March this year, said they would honour their human rights obligations as far as [being] in line with Sharia law.

“Yet despite these assurances, we are witnessing the progressive exclusion of women and girls from the public sphere and their institutionalised, systematic oppression”.

Ms. Bachelet encouraged the re-establishment of an independent mechanism to receive complaints from the public and protect victims of gender-based violence.

“Beyond being right, it is also a matter of practical necessity”, said the High Commissioner. “Amid the economic crisis, women’s contribution to economic activity is indispensable, which itself requires access to education, and freedom of movement and from violence”.

Women made ‘invisible’

Also speaking at the Human Rights Council, its Special Rapporteur for Human Rights in Afghanistan, Richard Bennett, described a chilling attempt by the Taliban to make women “invisible, by excluding them almost entirely from society”.]

As an example of the de facto authorities’ intentions to impose “absolute gender discrimination”, the independent rights expert also noted that women are now represented by men at Kabul’s Loya Jirga, or grand assembly of religious scholars and elders.

Such measures contravene Afghanistan’s obligations under numerous human rights treaties to which it is a State party, Mr. Bennett insisted before adding that the situation for women “massively diminish(ed) women’s lives, deliberately attack women and girls’ autonomy, freedom and dignity, and create a culture of impunity for domestic violence, child marriage and sale and trafficking of girls, to name but a few of the consequences”.

Promises broken

Despite public assurances from the Taliban to respect women and girls’ rights, they are reinstituting step by step the discrimination against women and girls. Said Ms. Koofi, a former member of the peace negotiation team with the Taliban said that the fundamentalists “obviously have not kept their promises of what they were telling us during the negotiations, in terms of their respect for Islamic rights for women”.

Ms. Koofi added that “in fact, what they do is in contradiction to Islam. Our beautiful religion starts with reading. But today, Taliban under the name of the same religion, deprive 55 percent of the society from going to school”.

Afghanistan’s response

For Nasir Andisha, Ambassador and Permanent Representative of Afghanistan to the UN in Geneva, “the situation of women and girls in Afghanistan demands nothing less than a robust monitoring mechanism to collect, consolidate, and analyse evidence of violations, to document and verify information, to identify those responsible to promote accountability and remedies for victims, and to make recommendations for effective prevention for future violations”.

A draft resolution on the situation of women and girls in Afghanistan is being negotiated at the Human Rights Council and will be considered on 7 July.

[ssaalexblake]

i also Love how it’s literally not even subtext that 13 thought the master was looking down on her in the timeless children, she quite literally SAYS to him she believes he thinks he’s better than her now ( You think that makes me lesser? page 64) and people are still like ‘she saw he has a self esteem/hatred issue because of these revelations and rubbed it in his face to be a big horrible meanie!!!’ and no. That is just flat out wrong, that is not a different reading of subtext that i disagree with, it is literally a reading in direct opposition to what is said blatantly on screen and it is literally contradicted by the episode. Not just in the same episode, but in the same LINE as the bit you have a problem with. 

She makes herself big, props herself up, not because she’s trying to take advantage of his self loathing breakdown, but because she thinks he hates Her. She doesn’t think he hates himself!!!! She thinks he hates her and she is defending herself from that. She has not a shred of a clue that she just scored one hell of a hit on him here. And frankly? if she was Trying to hurt him she’d have been absolutely visibly gleeful and openly maliciously pleased to have scored a hit on him here and she was not.  

So can we play a new game where we watch the whole scene, next time??? I am so tired. ‘The doctor is shitty’ is a take that’s very true, but just because the doctor’s an asshole, it doesn’t make the master a tragically misunderstood blorbo. 

And not for nothing, in this scene, she Accidentally hurt his feelings and all the while he’s busy trying to traumatize her just enough that she’ll commit suicide and take him with her. There is no valid way to swing this where she’s the worst person in the room here, and nor is she obligated to be nice to the guy who has spent the whole season deliberately mentally torturing her.

Again. So Tired.  

[johnkrrasinski]

𝙞𝙣𝙫𝙞𝙨𝙞𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜

Chapter 3: chains around my demons

full masterlist // series masterlist // commission open // support my work

Pairings: bucky barnes x reader

Word Count: 1,798

Summary: blessed with telepathic abilities since birth, you were captured by HYDRA and turned into one of their weapons to kill. after the blip, you were pardoned by the government and you were obliged to check up with dr. raynor everyday which you had no clue would lead you to the one soul you’d been waiting for.

Warnings: SMUT!! (18+) angst, mentions of anxiety, nightmares, murders.

A/N: this series is dedicated to the lovely @ohmickeyhenry who commissioned this story and developed the concept. thank you for trusting me with your story. i sincerely hope you like it.

The next day, you packed up your bags and were ready to leave. You were waiting on Sam to arrive at Wakanda with the quinjet so he could fly you and Bucky back to the compound. You were a little bummed about leaving Wakanda, it had been a therapeutic experience for you and Bucky to be here. The thought of living the domestic life, in a beautiful place like Wakanda that is far away from the bustling city of New York was enticing. Sometimes you’d look at Bucky just walking around in his shirt and sweatpants doing the most mundane things instead of getting prepared for another mission and you’d think “I could get used to this.”

You thanked T’Challa, Shuri, Queen Ramonda and the Dola Milaje for everything they had done before you bid your farewell. You promised to stay in contact with Shuri and the Dora Milaje but it was still hard to leave them, they were truly the best people you had ever met. They reminded you of everything HYDRA was not. You could see why Bucky always spoke so highly of them.

Later that night, you had the compound all to yourself. Tony was having a date night with Pepper, Natasha was on a mission to Hungary, Sam was visiting his sister in Louisiana and Rhodey was dealing with some air force matters. As much as you loved the Avengers, you were grateful for this moment alone with Bucky.

The dimmed lights in the kitchen where you and Bucky just had dinner gave him an idea, “doll, get up…”

She did as he told even though she had no clue what he was planning, “for what, Bucky?”

He didn’t answer her but rather, he commanded FRIDAY to play a song called Put Your Heart on My Shoulder by Paul Anka. “Let’s dance, doll.”

He put his flesh hand on your waist and took your left hand with his vibranium arm, “I haven’t danced in ages, Buck.”

“Me neither, doll, but we’ll learn from each other,” he smiled affectionately at you.

It started off slow and you kept your eyes on each other, saying things that words can’t illustrate. It’s love, the realization of how fortunate you both were to have found each other. “I wish we could stay like this forever,” you uttered softly as you fiddled with his dog tags.

“Me too, doll. But we got each other now, I won’t let anything keep me away from you for too long.”

There was a brief silence. “Do you remember the last time you danced like this?”

“1945, Stark Expo, before I was shipped out to England. Her name was Connie and I took Steve with me because I wanted to spend it with him on my last night. I set him up with Connie’s friend but the punk just left to try to enlist in the army.”

Steve. You’d heard about him from Natasha and Tony. No one outside of the Avengers really knew where he was but you knew that he went back in time. That’s all you knew about it. You had also learned about his and Bucky’s friendship and how they really went all the way back. You were often curious about his ‘disappearance’ however you didn’t wanna pry or made Bucky feel worse. Losing a friend was always hard, let alone someone who was his only connection to his past, the life that he knew before he was forced to live out those violent years. You’d heard from Sam about how Steve was the only reason why Bucky stayed alive and how he had thought about committing suicide before. Now that he was gone, Sam often feared that Bucky would snap and give in to it but he always tried to be there for him. You were just glad that Bucky had Sam even before you were around.

“Do you… miss Steve?” you hesitantly asked as you rested your head on his chest.

“All the time,” He confessed. You were a tad relieved that Bucky wanted to open up about him to you. “He was the only family I got left, and when he went back, I felt empty. I was just lucky that Sam didn’t give up on me… And that, I met you.”

You smiled, you lifted your head to look at him. “You’re never gonna lose me. Not again,” you touched his face and he kissed you. It was soft, nothing like the kiss on your last night in Wakanda, but you could feel him pouring all the emotions and gratitude he had for you and you did just the same.

He lifted you as you wrapped his legs around his waist, still maintaining that kiss. Bucky carried you onto the dining table where you just had your dinner and he laid you there as he trailed to your throat and all the way down to your body which was now half-exposed after he lifted the hem of your shirt up until your breasts were revealed.

You weren’t wearing any bra so it was easier for him to access your nipples, he sucked on the right one as his flesh hand made its way down to your pants, unbuttoning it, and he inserted his fingers to find your clit, rubbing it in circles, making you even wetter every second. You shut your eyes, letting him have his way with your body.

His fingers and his tongue worked so magically that within seconds, he had you close to orgasm. “Bucky, so close…” You could feel his smirk against your nipple and he rubbed you faster. You moaned his name as you released all over his digits, soaking them up and he lifted his head to look into your eyes as he sucked your juices all over his hand like a fucking ice cream.

“You taste like heaven, sweetheart.” The sight of Bucky staring intensely at you as he sucked on his fingers that were drenched by your cum was euphoric, like watching a live homemade porn video. Bucky took off his sweatpants and his shirt, discarding them on the floor. Seeing him shirtless never ceased to mesmerize you, his body was a work of art. He’d told you one night that it took him a while to accept the scars on his body, let alone the bionic arm that felt nothing like a human but you told him that you loved every inch of it and if you could, you’d worship it forever.

Bucky then lifted the shirt that was still rumpled on your chest, up to your wrists, where he used it as a makeshift knot, keeping your hands above your head, “stay there, understand?”

“Yes, sergeant.” You had no idea what sparked that nickname, but from the way he grinned, he sure loved it and if he loved it, then you were sure to use that in future steamy sessions.

“Sergeant, huh? You’re in big trouble, darling.” Bucky tore your damp panties and you gasped, not expecting him to be so aggressive… Not that you were complaining though. “Bucky…”

“Shh, let me take care of you, baby.” He kissed you ferociously, with his tongue completely dominating your mouth. Without any warning, his middle finger intruded your body… But it was an entirely different feeling from the last time he did that to you because he was using his vibranium arm and the sensation instantly took over your body, running in your veins like that serum in his blood.

“Oh God, Buck…” You whined as you looked down to where his finger was moving in and out of you at a slow pace.

“Does it feel good?” He asked as he kept looking at your face, searching for any signs of discomfort but with each motion, you only seemed to enjoy it.

“Yes, it feels fucking amazing… Don’t stop, please.”

He began to move his digits faster, and when your wails grew louder, he inserted another finger and you arched your back. “Fuck, oh God…” Bucky curled his fingers to brush your sweet spot, pushing you to the edge and you cum for the second time all over his vibranium hand.

“You’re so hot when you cum,” he whispered in a gravelly low voice that could weaken any woman in the knees. He pulled his fingers out of you and he used your juices to stroke his member to make it easier to slide into you.

Bucky lifted your legs onto his shoulders and he lined his cock to your entrance, slowly as he felt your walls fluttered around him. “Fuck, you’re so tight.” Bucky began moving, he was taking his time with your body, wanting to feel every inch of you and you of him, and you whimpered with every thrust. He felt so heavy between your hips that you could feel your orgasm approaching fast, even with the languid pace.

“I’m not gonna last long…” You said in between whimpers.

“I know, doll. Just let go when you’re ready, okay?” He began to speed up, his grunts and the sound of your skin slapping was obscene, making you nearly forget you were fucking in the place where the Avengers would feast (if they found out what you did on this table, Tony would hire a cleaning service company to scrub the entire surface thrice.)

The coil in your lower abdomen tightened and you knew you were seconds away from rupturing. A few more thrusts and you hit your peak. Bucky kept holding your hips tightly and he continued to pound into you, prolonging your orgasm as he chased his own climax. Your body trembled from the aftershocks but from the way Bucky was impaling you, you could feel a fourth orgasm coming and you didn’t know if you could take it anymore.

He felt you squeezing his cock once again and you both came together, pleasure washed over both of you. He shot his load inside you, painting your walls white. A few more shallow thrusts to blow every drop he had left within him. He stayed inside you as he hid his face between your neck and your shoulder, the warmth of his body on top of you was comforting despite the sweat all over your body.

Bucky lifted his head to look at you and sweep the strands of hair sticking on your forehead, “you okay?” he panted. You could only respond by nodding, not moving because of the weight of him still between your legs and how completely spent you were.

Once he had regained his composure, he retreated himself out of you and he carried you in bridal style to your room, wanting nothing else than to take care of you with a hot bath and forehead kisses under the duvet.

tags; @ohmickeyhenry @suitofvibraniumarmor @themaddies-obx @themaddies-obx @beminetokeep @bluemoon-icecream @bluemoon-icecream @harprs @thefridgeismybestie @abitofeverythingg @wolfonthemoonwatchestvshows @julimelodi @bookscoffeandotherstuff @tanyaherondale @artisancowbells @ferxaniti @intothesoul @hallecarey1 @buckybarnesplumwhore @thefallenbibliophilequote @andiyholly @emizla @capxwinter @jevans2 @alwaysreadingimagineschick @swtltlmrvlgrl @extremelyblackandwhite

[agentnico]

Zack Snyder’s Justice League (2021) Review

It all started with Sonic’s teeth. Ever since fans successfully bullied a studio into reanimating their titular hedgehog character after the abomination shown in the first trailer, fans realised that rallying together (on Twitter) can make a difference. So you’d think it would mean we could all come together to restore world peace and get rid of racism, injustice, poverty, war and negativity of all kind? Nope, nope it does not. But at least we get a better version of a bad DC movie that came out in 2017. I mean, baby steps I guess.

Plot: Fuelled by his restored faith in humanity and inspired by Superman's selfless act, Bruce Wayne enlists newfound ally Diana Prince to face an even greater threat. Together, Batman and Wonder Woman work quickly to recruit a team to stand against this newly awakened enemy. Despite the formation of an unprecedented league of heroes -- Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Cyborg and the Flash -- it may be too late to save the planet from an assault of catastrophic proportions.

I recall my younger simpler self in 2017 at the early age of 20 soon to be 21, sitting down and watching the new Justice League film with zero to no expectations, as by that point the DC Extended Universe was a trainwreck and was a franchise that was literally falling apart before out unblinking red hay fever filled eyes. However, after watching Justice League I was baffled at the fact that I still managed to be disappointed after having zero expectations! With zero expectations this film took me into the minuses, and we all know I’m not great at mathematics so boy are we in the danger zone when we hit the minuses! Looking back at my review of the film back then, I used extreme yet fitting comments like “generic”, “predictable” “messy” and plain “dogsh*t”. Which is what it was. 2017′s Justice League is exactly how I’d imagine a dog’s poop would look if it was turned into an abstract film! It was truly abysmal. After that I thought I’d never have to talk about this film again. How wrong I was. But, in a rare turn of tables, I am glad that I was wrong...

A little history lesson first. Alright, settle down kids, settle down.... Rob, put the paper plane down, do not throw it, I said DON’T THROW IT! NO! Stop! Stupid child!! Headteacher’s office right now! Also, say hi to your mother for me, okay? I’m having brunch with her on Saturday and you better not be there as you should be doing your homework watching the 4 hour cut of Justice League and questioning your life choices!! Anyway, now let’s have ourselves a history lesson. The topic is - What In The Flying Fudge Happened Behind-The-Scenes Of Justice League For DUMMIES: Condensed Edition. A really condensed version as honestly none of us have the attention span to read loads and I’m probably losing the vast majority of you due to this overlong rambling session. So anyway, to the last couple of readers left, here we go! Following the success of Man of Steel, Warner Bros. gave Zack Snyder the reigns to oversee and create a DC cinematic universe to rival the success of Marvel. And so came Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice, which turned out to be a bit of a hodgepodge, receiving mixed to negative reviews and though was a box office success, earned diminishing results to what Warner Bros. originally anticipated. However, by the time Batman V Superman released, Zack Snyder was already hard at work on the big superhero team up film Justice League (which was meant to set up many characters and future films for the DCEU) with a lot of filming already underway, so Warner Bros. couldn’t particularly pump the breaks on it by that point, even though they evidently lost trust in the Snyder formula. To be honest, at that point I too lost trust in Snyder’s vision and the DCEU as a whole, but my opinion doesn’t class for a single dime, whilst the opinions of Warner Bros. executives make millions, so there aren’t any hard feelings on my behalf for them not enquiring on my thoughts. Anyway, midway through production Zack Snyder was hit with a family tragedy with his daughter committing suicide, so Snyder naturally had to depart the project to be with his family during this grieving time. Warner Bros. had the option to pause production and await for Snyder’s return, or progress at their own accord. Naturally they decided to do their own thing cause they are a business and want that dollar dollar bill baby!! So they hired Joss Whedon who was riding fresh off the success of two Avengers movies and obviously had experience in cinematic universes and such, to rework the Justice League movie by condensing it into a 2 hour film (from the over 4 hour material that Snyder shot) and reshoot scenes to fit the smaller runtime. So you cannot particularly blame Whedon for taking out so many great scenes as he had a contract to fulfil with Warner Bros, but then you look at the many forced jokes and unnecessary reshot scenes and you realise how self-indulgent Joss Whedon was during filming, as he basically was spitting on everything Snyder did and was trying to do his own thing. Low and behold, the mess that is the 2017 movie is created, where its the visions and creative minds of two director with evidently different styles clashing and not really mixing well at all, and as such we have a messy movie that doesn’t really make sense and is a bit of a middle finger to DC fans and honestly everyone and all. Also, there was that little aspect of Henry Cavill’s deformed upper lip due to the fact that during reshoots he had a moustache that he’d grown and was contractually obligated to have for his Mission Impossible role, so the visual effects team had to digitally remove it in post production and the result is, well, see for yourself...

Yes, they made the dashing handsome my-sexuality-questioning Henry Cavill look stupid, and that is UNFORGIVABLE. Funny, yes, very funny but unforgivable!! So for this and many other reasons the 2017 film turned out horribly. Then after that many months later, Zack Snyder and cast and crew members began teasing of this mythical version of the movie that was befit of Snyder’s original vision. You see, apparently before he left the project, Snyder actually filmed everything he wanted and it was only awaiting to be reworked with visual effects and edited properly, but then Whedon came in with his scissors and cut everything mercilessly with a cheeky grin and his ginger beard. Speaking of his ginger beard, is Joss Whedon Irish? Or has Irish roots? Honestly, I would Google it, but wait, I don’t think I really care. So anyway, Snyder still had all of his filmed scenes saved on his ridiculously oversized hard drive just waiting to be looked at again. This is where the fandom did its magic by creating a Twitter hashtag #ReleaseTheSnyderCut and began spam posting for Warner Bros. to let Zack Snyder release what he originally intended to. Honestly, who would have thunk it, but this actually worked!! Warner Bros. allowed this, and not only that, but gave Snyder an additional $70 million to finish up the visual effects as well as to film a couple of additional sequences and gave it the prestigious honour to debut it on HBO Max, so as to boost the subscriber rating on Warner Bros. new streaming service. And here we are.

Honestly, I thought seeing this Director’s Cut of sorts wouldn’t bring much to the table as I didn’t believe that a film that was so broken had originally been in any way good. After finishing this 4 hour Snyder vision I must admit though that I was pleasantly surprised. Completely baffled by the studio and Joss Whedon, but really happy for Zack Snyder. The guy was fighting for it and finally was able to accomplish and bring out his true original vision, and though Zack Snyder’s Justice League has its flaws, its so much better than what we got in 2017, and in fact is a soaring science fiction sci-fi epic that literally feels epic!! It takes time establishing the characters and every single plot point as well as building out this rich mythology of this world of the DC Extended Universe, and so as you move into the second half of the film, there’s a feeling of pay off. You actually care about the characters and understand the plot points and it doesn’t feel rushed. Its truly astounding that there are producers out there who thought it was a good idea to get rid of all of that and instead bring out whatever the heck Joss Whedon did with the 2017 version. Look, I quite enjoy Joss Whedon’s work, from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel to Cabin in the Woods and his work on Marvel, the guy obviously has a talent, but also he obviously does not belong to the dark and brooding style of DC. Zack Snyder on the other hand, though makes his mistakes, truly embraces the epic feel of the DC material. And it seems once you give Snyder enough time and space, he can actually bring out something like this:

The main characters are all given so much more to do, or at least those that got side-lined in the 2017 version are given more to do here. One of my complaints with the original was how pointless the League turns out to be. Basically in the theatrical version the main team all end up being useless and only once Superman shows up he saves everyone’s asses and literally does EVERYTHING. Might as well have called the film Man of Steel 2 (feat. Justice League). However in this new version, every main character serves a purpose. Well most of them do at least. Cyborg and Flash are much more compelling characters with more layers and backstory, and in fact are a prime reason to defeating the great evil in the end. You now understand why Cyborg actor Ray Fisher was pissed at Joss Whedon, as the guy literally got rid of his best stuff. Superman strikes a cool black suit and is still powerful, however as the finale shows, he isn’t all-powerful and does need the help of the rest of the team. Wonder Woman gets a lot more to do in this theatrical cut, and in fact this is probably Gal Gadot’s best performance as Wonder Woman and she really shows herself as a powerful female superhero! Aquaman’s role stays largely unchanged, however to be honest Jason Momoa’s character was one of the only ones who didn’t suffer in the theatrical cut. That’s unsurprising seeing as Jason Momoa is such a naturally cool dude! A big panda that is friendly in real life, but when necessary can turn into a roaring bear. To be honest, the only League member that ends up a bit pointless is actually Batman. He still serves a purpose in the film in that he’s the one who assembles the team, but otherwise the rest of the group is so overpowered compared to him that in the end you do kind of think that he doesn’t really belong there. Still, Ben Affleck is great in the role and it’s a shame we won’t see much of him past Flashpoint film that will be released in the next few years.

There are a lot of characters in this film and one can still say the movie is overstuffed, but also seeing as the movie was originally intended to spring board the DCEU properly, all these teases are actually welcome. There are an abundance of cameos, and to be honest so many characters are so well cast that you do end up wishing that Snyder was given the opportunity to make his entire Justice League planned trilogy, but nevertheless at least we have this. There are truly an abundance of cool appearances here, from the menacing villain Darkseid (played by Ray Porter) to Willem Dafoe doing what Dafoe does best, only in this case underwater and I’m certain that’s gonna span many comparison memes with The Lighthouse. Joe Morton as Cyborg’s dad is given a lot more to do here and in fact is pivotal towards building up Cyborg into the important character that he is. There’s also a cameo from Jared Leto’s Joker, who in some ways redeems himself after his appearance in Suicide Squad. Also, we need to talk about Steppenwolf, who’s the main baddie in this film. In the theatrical cut the guy was the most generic one-note villain who also looked like a PS2 character. It was honestly embarrassing the way he was animated. Luckily in this version he’s been put through enough Skyrim mods to looks much more intimidating and is also given a better motivation. As we find out, the reason he does what he does is because he wants to go home. He’s been banished and he simply wants to earn his place back home, so it’s actually kind of sweet. Steppenwolf is a sweetie. I mean, yeah, he wants to destroy half of the world to fulfil his dream, but hey, haven’t we all taken something extreme measures to get what we want?

The film is far from perfect though. At the end of the day, the movie is just about a guy hunting down a bunch of magical boxes. That was the premise of the theatrical cut and its the same here too. Yes, there is more substance and gravitas to the proceedings, but at the end of the day the story doesn’t really surprise much. And with the entire thing running at 4 hours, it is definitely too long and there is the element where there is simply too much in this thing. Also visually, though the movie has plenty of gorgeous shots and Zack Snyder’s signature slow motion sequences are on full display here, there are still many sequences where the CGI and green screen are super obvious and look really fake. That being said there’s still so much visual goodness in this, and also I have to mention Junkie XL’s new music score that does reiterate the epic feel of this movie, in comparison to Danny Elfman’s weak uninspiring notes in the theatrical cut.

Zack Snyder’s Justice League is a massive surprise and completely changes the perception of what we saw in the original 2017 theatrical cut. It’s a sprawling massive adventure that’s a dream come true for any comic book fan. It shows how vital film editing is, and how important it is to have a cohesive plan when making a movie. Gone too are the silly forced jokes, and though there is still some humour here, it feels more grounded and fit of the setting and scenario. This is Snyder’s vision through and through, and though at times it is clunky, it overall is incredible to behold, as it’s this one guy’s mind and his love for the DC lore. It’s a credible achievement, and I’m actually sentimentally happy for Snyder that he finally managed to complete this. He even during the credits dedicates this to his daughter Autumn that passed away, and I found that to be truly bittersweet. Justice has indeed been served.

Overall score: 7/10

[relaxxattack]

The thing about propaganda is that it is a much more neutral term than one might think when they hear it. Propaganda is really just anything that tries to get you to view something a certain way. By definition, commercials are propaganda for a certain brand. So Wilbur going around making big speeches about revolution to stir people up, even if it comes from truth, still utilizes propaganda techniques. Also he literally sent Tommy to go put up propaganda during the election, so he might be p1

p2 talking about that? as for manipulation, trying to persuade someone and manipulation walk a fine line. Not to mention his own paranoia. Do we consider it manipulation that Wilbur told Tommy he couldn't trust Tubbo if that's truly what Wilbur himself believed at the time? Rather than any one single instance, I'd be accurate to say c!Wilbur had manipulative tendencies but another to state how conscious this was. I'd say the worse thing he did was targeting Tommy's insecurities with the "you'll never be president" line.

 There's also the pit scene, showing how, despite being initially shocked by Techno shooting Tubbo, once he composed himself he realized staying on Techno's good side was advantageous for him in the long term. It's not very clear cut. Honestly I think the main thing we need to acknowledge is that people are hurt by/will not and are not obligated to forgive him.

i would agree it is all a very fine line when it comes to wilbur. commercials are propaganda, but according to Wikipedia propaganda is supposed to be more systemic and planned-out and seeing as these people seemed to be referring to l’manberg era wilbur that just didn’t make sense to me. man used flowery language because he was a hamilton stan and a very naïve general... i don’t really think that counts as manipulating?

he did do some of that persuading/manipulating stuff in pogtopia but i’d argue he was more manipulative to tubbo than he was to tommy. he did realize that working with techno was advantageous the same way he did with dream  and i don’t have much to say about that other then. he wanted to commit suicide of self and country and that’s what that was about

most things were not conscious i think. i think wilbur was pretty clear just by... the way he was talking during these rambles that he was almost talking to himself more then he was talking to tommy, but he also wanted to drag tommy down with him. was he desperate for company? or was it just emotional self-harm? i don’t know but it sure was something.

in the end nobody has to forgive him for what he did and his trauma doesn’t excuse it. tommy is definitely traumatized by pogtopia even if he is lying about what happened in the void (no clue what’s going on with that) and it is wilbur’s fault, and he doesn’t have to forgive him. 

but there’s a very large difference imo between acknowledging wilbur did hurt people, and saying he’s always just been a corrupt and evil dictator.

(like, for instance if you had a friend with a severe mental illness who lashed out at you but also leaned on you for support. you are 100% hurt by that and deserve better, and don’t have to forgive and whatnot; but it doesn’t make the friend evil or hurting you on purpose it just means they need therapy.)

maybe i am just too empathetic of a person for this fandom lol

[hedgebelle]

Cultural References in “They Are Out There Saying”

It took me forever to compile it, but here it is! A brief explanation on all the references to Japanese culture I made in my JayDick Summer Exchange fic “They Are Out There Saying”.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25707886/chapters/62420596

When I got the prompt from @paperempires​ calling for the Batman Ninja verse, I was like, you want 16th century Japan? I SHALL DELIVER.

Ok, so first, let’s talk about geography.

Right now, Japan is divided into prefectures, but in the past there were provinces. Check out the map below.

Green: Hida Province

Aka the province where this fanfic actually takes place. Nowadays the Hida-Takayama region in Gifu Prefecture.

Located there is the hidden village of the Bat Clan, the calligrapher's house, as well as real places briefly mentioned: Takayama city with its castle (ruins) and Tenshōji Temple (associated with True Pure Land school of Buddhism), and Shirakawa Village (diamond shape on the map).

Btw, Shirakawa Village is a UNESCO world heritage site and overall a lovely place. If you have a chance to visit it, please do. Here, check it out 😊.

Also, Hida is one of the two places in all of Japan where gneiss, a type of metamorphic rock, can be found. A piece of trivia I learned from my best friend (who might or might have not dared me to fit gneiss somewhere in the fanfic) 😉. The second place where gneiss can be found - again, true fact - are Oki Islands, the archipelago north of the Grand Izumo Shrine.

Dark red: Owari Province

Nowadays part of Aichi Prefecture.

According to the Batman Ninja (the version with Japanese voice over) Joker made himself a feudal lord of this province. Which is kinda interesting, seeing as Oda Nobunaga (1534-1582), one of the key players during the warring states period who started the unification of Japan, was a lord of that domain.

Located in Owari is also Alfred's teahouse 😊.

Yellow: Kai Province

Nowadays, it's Yamanashi Prefecture.

Penguin made himself a feudal lord of this domain. In Batman Ninja he really commanded penguins wearing samurai armour 😂.

Violet line: Tōkaidō Road

A tract that linked Kyoto, a seat of the emperor, and Edo (present day Tokyo), the seat of shogun.

So, traveling the Tōkaidō Road didn't become a thing until the 17th century ^^". But I figured, if castles can be weaponized in this verse, then I can send Jason down this road 😊.

On the side note, travelling the Tōkaidō Road became quite a subject in the culture of the Edo Period (1600-1868). For example, check out these famous ukiyo-e.

Star: the Grand Shrine of Izumo

Very much a real place. One of the three most important Shintō shrines in all of Japan. Worshipped there is Okuninushi no Okami, god of marriage. When praying in the Grand Shrine, a pilgrim is supposed to clap their hands four times, not just two like everywhere else. That's because in that Shrine one is not praying just for themselves, but for their destined partner too. 

The Grand Shrine is located in the Izumo Province - nowadays a part of Shimane Prefecture. 

*Even today Izumo is called a place where fates are being brought together 😉.

Circle: Mt Hiei

Again, a real place, located very close to Kyoto. The Enryakuji temple located on that mountain historically had big influence also due to the fact, it commanded its own army of warrior monks. Some further reading on them, if your interested, is here.

(Btw, the Enryakuji Temple is also a UNESCO world heritage site.)

It was emperor Shirakawa (1053-1129) who one said that the only things he does not have control over are the roll of dice, the waters in Kamo River and the warrior monks of the Enryakuji Temple.

*Kamo River flows through Kyoto.

Square: Inabayama Castle

Nowadays called Gifu Castle, located in Gifu City, Gifu Prefecture 😊. One of few castles built on top of a mountain.

Triangle: Mt Osore

A real place, considered one of the most sacred in all of Japan. A site of Bodaiji Temple. Due to the volcanic activity in the area, there's sulfur both in the air and in the lake right by the temple - hence its striking colour. Otherwise, the landscape is barren. 

It is said that Mt Osore matches the description of Buddhist hell, and holds the entrance to the afterlife. For some further, light reading check here.

If you think to yourself wooow that's a lot of references then fear not - there's more 😂.

Other references

Fuke Sect of Buddhism 

Monks of this sect, as a part of their practise, wore basket hats, played flute, and were on constant pilgrimage. 

Travel, however, used to be heavily restricted, so in exchange for a special travel permit, monks were asked to spy for the shogun. Also, ninja (and other people involved in espionage) were known to donn on the attire of a Fuke Sect monk. For that reason, monks were sometimes asked to play on their flutes to prove their identity.

In Batman Ninja Jason is operating undercover as one of those monks.

Check this, for some further reading.

Direction of the Demon’s Gate

It’s north-west. It was believed that demons and evil spirits enter through that direction, hence it was considered unlucky.

Rokuyō (lucky/unlucky days)

A circle of six days, three of which are thought to various degrees lucky, another three - to various degrees unlucky. The most unlucky one is called butsumetsu and apparently is meant to symbolise the day Budda died.

Ri

Old unit of measurement. 1 ri ≈ 3.9 km ≈ 2.4 mi

Sexagenary cycle

A cycle of 60 years. It was traditionally used in China for time reckoning, and was known in other South-East Asian countries too.

For some further reading click here.

Golden leaf

Kaga Province (north-east of Hida; now part of Ishikawa Prefecture) is known as the biggest producer of golden leaf in all of Japan.

Zen Circle

On the photo below:

It’s an important symbol in Zen Buddhism that stands for enlightenment, absolute, the void. In Japanese calligraphy and sumi-e (ink painting), drawing the circle is seen as an expression of absolute freedom of the mind that lets the body create. If it’s closed, it symbolises perfection. If not, it becomes an expression of wabi-sabi - a concept in Japanese aesthetics that translates to beauty of imperfection.

Kappa

One of the fantastic creatures that appears in many Japanese folktales. Kappa is a water demon that (unsurprisingly) dwells in lakes and rivers. It is rather mean and known to cause mischief, but surprisingly enough - very fond of cucumbers.

Ogre (oni)

One of the fantastic creatures featured in Japanese folklore. Usually portrayed with red skin, horns, and a tall, hulking figure; as a concept somewhat similar to demons or devils, as they represent everything evil and harmful (and also, oni reside in the eight great hells). It was believed a human wicked beyond any redemption might turn into an ogre.

Haikai-no renga

A genre of linked verse poetry. It is made of 18 or 36 verses that alternatively have 17 (5-7-5) or 14 (7-7) syllables. It is less formal than an earlier genre, renga, and as such is supposed to be lighter, witty, comical even. There aren't as many rules dictating which verse is supposed to have a direct allusion to which, how many times and in which verses certain motives (like flowers, moon, seasons) can be mentioned. 

Still, the first verse is supposed to contain kigo, so a word or phrase that indicates the season - in the fanfic it’s May (rice planting season) which is classified as early summer in the old lunar calendar - or in some other clever way gives an allusion to the environment the poetry meeting took place in. The first verse is also supposed to be written by the guest of honour which is why Jason was asked to compose it 😊. Important is also the third verse, as that’s where the theme of the whole haikai-no renga is officially established. 

From the first verse of haikai-no renga evolved possibly the most recognisable form of Japanese poetry - haiku.

Lovers’ suicide

A suicide committed together at the same time by the lovers whose shared affection defied the rules of society and/or obligations to their families. Before commiting the act, they would usually pray to be reborn together on the same lotus flower in the Pure Land. 

Lovers’ suicide is a theme featured in plays for pupper theater bunraku, most prominently The Love Suicides at Sonezaki written by Chikamatsu Monzaemon.

Pure Land

In a nutshell: According to some schools of Buddhism in Japan, Pure Land where people can be reborn and practice pure version of Buddhism, thus are able to finally gain enlightenment (which is impossible when alive, because the practice in the land of the living is warped, impure).

Please, take my way too short explanation with a grain of salt. It might not seem that way, but I’m not all that knowledgeable about Buddhism ^^”.

Nenbutsu prayer

Practised in True Pure Land Buddhism. It’s basically a recitation of a short phrase that translates to “I take refuge in Buddha Amida”.

Kannon

The bodhisattva associated with compassion.

Vengeful ghost

It was believed that a person who harboured a deep grudge or hatred in their last living moments towards those who had wronged them could become a vengeful spirit.

 *Hoichi the Earless - one of the traditional horror stories. In this story, vengeful ghosts (of the fallen Taira clan) want to take with them a blind monk because he beautifully plays on biwa (traditional instrument). Once his brethren realise the danger Hoichi is in, they paint his whole body in Buddhist sutra, safe for his ears. Because of that, when the ghosts appear again, Hoichi - safe for his ears - is invisible to them. Spoiler alert, the ghosts take Hoichi’s ears, thus the earless in the title. Check out here for some further reading.

Ten Virtues of Tea

Text attributed to a Buddhist monk Myōe (1173-1232. It lists all the properties of green tea beneficial to the human body and soul. 

Translation can be found here.

Portuguese firearms

Historically, the first Europeans Japanese people came in contact with were Potuguese traders. They introduced many European goods including firearms. 

On the unrelated note, the Potuguese in that time period were referred to as Nanbanjin (南蛮人) which translates to southern barbarians.

Eight great hells

...are the concept of hell in the traditional culture in a nutshell. The concept itself was heavily influenced by Buddhism. 

Further reading is available here.

Shinto wedding ceremony

While it incorporates many rites, the most core one (as far as I know) features the groom and the bride taking turns drinking sake (rice wine) from three cup, each slightly bigger than the other. When drinking, they are supposed to sip three times. 

In feudal times, wedding ceremonies started with an elaborate bridal procession to the groom’s house. There, the dowry would be presented, blessings would be given, and then the bride and groom would take turns drinking sake as described above. 

...Okay, I believe that’s it. Thank you for reading!

[dreamsafterhours]

college boyfriend!markhyuk au series: II (mark’s pathway)

a universe in which roommates!markhyuk meet each other's s/o in class

markhyuk are roommates, my/n and dy/n are roommates, mark and dy/n take classes together and so do donghyuk and my/n — how will their fates intertwine?

genre: fluff, some angst pairing: platonic!donghyuk+my/n, surprise visit from mark format: dotpoint AU universe: non idol, college best friend warning: a lil swearing (best get used to it)

masterlist

or click here to continue your friendship with eng lit!mark!

I ⇤ | II | ⇥ III

II: relationship consolidation.. it’s platonic i swear

the fellowship continues (donghyuk + my/n)

hello again

are we ready

ever-ready i’m going whether u r or not lol idc you’re COMING

aight so ;;, donghyuk,

this boi,,

to meet someone new who he sees as almost a personal challenge,, to befriend and get to That Point™ in the friendship where you can talk about anything and everything without judging each other

he doesn’t have many friends that he can do that with tbh,, , he does have a lot of friends and people he knows and has conversed with but not a lot of friends he can crack jokes with and know they don’t take it personally

lots of dark humour and sometimes suggestive ones and political jokes and all that shit ,, intellectual puns and suicidal jokes,,, the lot

the basics for gen z humour right

he just wants someone to talk to and explore different concepts and abstract meanings and philosophical questions and get new perspectives on things he’d never thought about before

but also be able to say “ah fuck me upside down” without it actually affecting the relationship bc you’re just that close

sometimes it’s hard to have that relationship with the predominantly straight boys he surrounds himself with a lot of the time

and he’s always wondered what it’d be like to have a female friend like that and unfortunately he hasn’t befriended anyone and gotten to that point yet that he can ask genuine questions for the female point of view on certain topics

so meeting you,, and finding out you’re going for the same faculty after your undergrad course ,,,. then you being genuinely comfortable with him and his jokes and openly willing to accept his humour

he’s like /exclamation point appears above his head/

will this be The One™

so he lowkey ,, unintentionally,, in the process of getting to know you

develops a smol crush on you

it’s unintentional but he can’t help the fact that he falls in love really quickly but is also capable of getting over people fairly quickly if they don’t reciprocate his feelings and seems to be okay with that

but who can blame him for liking you??

you’re really damn cute

and genuinely good company

when he hinted that you could get married and have children in the future,,

his thought process was that ahaha i’m kidding.. unless?

so yes he was flirting but like ,, experimental flirting

and over the next couple of weeks he continues flirting with you

random lines like

“hey you look familiar, have i taken a class with you before?” he literally said this on the second day of classes with you

you honestly thought he was being genuine and actually didn’t remember you so you were like wait what ??? you literally walked me to my next class yesterday../? how? do you forget that??

and then he pulls a

“really? i swear we had chemistry” hand stroking his invisible beard

and then laughing at your reaction when you deadpan

“it was biology, donghyuk”

and sometimes u keep having that thought that u had in the middle of ur first lecture together, how he’s probably like this with everyone and he can easily befriend anyone else he’s probably gonna end up being those people that you know vaguely

but then you realise he’s been waiting in the same spot outside the lecture theatre every morning and afternoon, leaning on the wall, and looking up occasionally

smiling when he finds you in the crowd, picking up his bag from the floor and making his way over to you to walk into the lecture together

and you decide hm? he sticks around, i’ll stick around

on a separate occasion in some study session he’s like

“are you my appendix because i have no idea how you work, but the feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out”

and you’re like “wow looks like you went ahead in the course donghyuk we don’t have human anatomy until next year. but how’s tmr at 7”

“perfect i’ll pick you up wear something nice”

hold

and then he bURSTS OUT LAUGHING and HOLLERING and yelling about how that was a good one tho right

you’re both in this sort of grey area where neither of you know where this is going

the reason he’s been saying all these things is to see what you were comfortable with in conversation and trying to analyse from your reaction whether or not you were actually flirting back or not

he’s ranted to mark in his dorms about it a couple times ,,

and so have you with your roommate

you return to your dorm after a day of doing a lot of back and forth semi flirting with donghyuk and you collapse onto your bed

your roommate looks over from her desk like “u good bro”

"i’m confused”

“fair enough”

“seriously idk if this kid is actually flirting with me or whether he’s practising on me or what”

“is this the donghek boi”

“yeah donghyuk” aka your future s/o yEET

you sit up and look at her

“uk what he said to me today”

she turns in her chair to face you fully,, ready for the tea

so you tell her the pickup line he came up with that day & your response to it and then his reaction to that bc he always seems to go for it but then tap out afterwards when you actually respond

and now you’re thinking,, do you really like him as more than a friend ??

and its???

so ?confusing to you

if you can’t tell if you like him for sure then you probably don’t, romantically

but then what effect are your responses having on him

what he actually does like you and all those flirty comments are genuine??? and you’re /internal gASP moment/

what if you’re leading him on?? what if it’s always gonna be him initiating the flirting but you’re accepting it with insincerity?

you decide this goes entirely against your morals

and you tell this to your roommate and she goes hmm,,

if you don’t feel committed to the idea of that,, then you don’t have to feel obligated to keep it going,, be honest with him ,, draw lines if you have to .. yes leading people on is a bad thing and it’s gonna affect the friendship

but also maybe it really is just part of the humour and that’s the friendship dynamic he wants to build with you?

so you decide to sleep on it bc it’s 1am and significant choices should not be made when drowsy and you’ve lost a lot of sleep these past couple days anyway

not that you get good sleep that night anyways

meanwhile donghyuk is shrugging @ mark like

“idk bro do i like her?? or do i like the idea of having someone to say that to”

“and yes she returns the gestures but then also i don’t think she means it? do we just keep it at that and keep being friends like WHAT IF I CATCH FEELINGS”

and mark is just staring at him like dude idk don’t ask me

“you’re so bad at giving advice mark”

but you wake up the next morning and decide to have a serious conversation with him after class bc that day you have a free hour after your lecture

it’s all you can think about during the class so you’re kinda distracted plus the partial sleep deprivation is getting to you

and he notices so he’s like

“bro u alright?”

so you just think fuck it and go

“hey real talk tho”

“ya”

“maybe i’ve been overanalysing this so,, tell me if i am but”

“sure”

“do you ,,, actually mean all those pickup lines ,, like are they based off, , real feelings or is this just part of the friendship dynamic”

and you’re almost surprised when he gets serious with you

he’s always been so lighthearted and sarcastic about things

but when he listens to your side of things and how you’re worried about whether or not you’ve been leading him on or something

he lets you finish and just tells you his feelings as well

“i’ve always wondered what it’d be like to have that dynamic and i guess i tried it on you without being honest ,, half to see if you would flirt back and half to just joke around ,;; i’m sorry that you got confused but i guess this means you don’t have? romantic feelings?”

so you have to reply honestly

“not necessarily ,, it’s been fun to have these conversations and laugh at pickup lines but”

“nothing behind it right”

“..yeah”

and instead of putting a damper on the atmosphere

it’s actually

refreshing

it clears the air in a way you didn’t expect

“right? nah it’s fun what we have going”

and you agree

aside from the confusion behind the flirting it’s been really fun talking to him and getting to know him

half of him was a lil disappointed that it didn’t go the romantic path but then again he wasn’t sure he had romantic feelings anyway

so he settles for

The Best Friend™

and so the friendship turns into sibling-like teasing and petty arguing from that day onwards

legit you’ll catch him staring

“what” “wHat” “what u lookin at” “whAt U loOkIn At” “stop copying me” “sToP CoPYinG mE” /you slap his arm/ “oW”

whimpers a lil clutching his arm uwu babie

“you hit harder than the bass drop”

sending each other bio memes and yelling at each other to go commit lysis

“lysosomes can take you out because you’re TRASH”

“i would send a macrophage after you you PATHOGEN”

calling him a parasite when he asks u for notes that he missed in class but it happens vice versa anyways lmfao

then one morning lab class he forgets his pencil case in his dorm like he forgot his laptop on the first day

except this time you call him a forgetful dumbass

all while offering a pencil from your own pencil case

which he takes

so he calls his roommate who “has a noon class and is probs still sleeping lol” to ask him if he can bring it down for him bc he’s got more lab classes that day

so after the class you wait outside the building for his roommate to arrive

and when he does he gives you a rlly nice smile and says “ʰᶦ”

“oh hello”

“yes this is my adoptive younger sister and my/n this is my roommate the Elder”

“ah you’re overreacting” the roommate turns to you and u ,, gotta admit ,

he’s really cute ,,, “don’t listen to anything donghyuk says, all he does is lie”

“hEY i am a SINCERE MEMBER OF CIVILISATION”

the roommate points to donghyuk again and goes “see he’s even lying about being civil”

so you laugh and gang up on donghyuk like “oh i saw through him a long time ago”

“wow he even lied about how” /puts up air quotes/ “ugly you AREN’T”

“wHAT”

“HE SAID IT NOT ME”

donghyuk is flabbergasted at this point

“wHEN DID I SAY THAT MY/N WAS UGLY”

“WANNA TELL ME THAT YOURSELF MR LEE DONGHYUK HUH”

which results in a sulky hyuk and you two laughing at his reaction of being Wronged™

he regrets letting u two meet in that moment

oh but we don’t

“ok u did ur mission. u can go now”

“so mean :((”

but donghyuk’s roomie waves at you while turning to leave and you wave back ,,

trying to calm yourself bc you’re highkey feeling kinda hot ur cheeks r burning up

he said ?? donghyuk was lying when he said u were ugly?

damn

donghyuk’s pickup lines had never been direct compliments about you

but this one from his roommate wasn’t a pickup line it was just

a statement

and it made u feel a typa way

dw baby it’s gonna be a happy ending uwu

and u tell ur roomie that night abt it too

“bRO his rOOMMATE”

“what’s his NAME i gotta FANGIRL WITH YOU”

“.. idk”

“.. oh”

/short pause, lip smack/

“.. lib tomorrow?”

“.. ya sure”

the next day after classes you check your phone and see that she’s texted you asking if her friend and his friend from eng lit can come and join you guys in the lib

and, naturally, u don’t see why not

so u reply

“the more the merrier”

the more the merrier for us too sweetie hmm hmm

eeeeeeéeeeeeèeeeeee

mhm mhm mhm it’s finally getting somewhere

click here to continue your friendship with eng lit!mark!

I ⇤ | II | ⇥ III

[winchester-purgatory]

Doomed | Dean Winchester (1/5)

New Orleans, Louisiana

Upon arriving at the crime scene, the Winchesters knocked on the victim's door and waited.

The rundown apartment complex gave off a perfect spooky vibe with its sketchily-stained concrete floors - blood, perhaps - and the stinging smell of death coming from the staircase. Maybe the article was just about some junkie having hallucinations?

Regardless, they had to check it out.

According to the article Sam had read online, a young woman in New Orleans, Louisiana had been the victim of a gruesome home invasion in the middle of the night. She came home from a night out with her group of friends to two strangers standing in her living room: a man in his forties and one in his late twenties. The younger shot himself in the head first, followed by the elder. The neighboring apartments confirmed having heard two gunshots, but there was only one body when the police arrived on the scene. During the interrogation, the woman's description of the second man corresponded to the house's past owner...who had been cremated three years ago after commiting suicide the same way.

The last line got Sam and Dean to pack their bags and climb into the Impala, ready for a good old classic ghost case.

Dean knocked again, in case it wasn't loud enough the first time, getting impatient. Sam gave him a look, straightening up when he heard the door handle wiggling.

A young woman with long ginger hair opened the door, pulling her eyebrows at the two suited men standing on her doorstep. ''May I help you?''

Sam was taken aback by her glamorous appearance - stockings, black dress and polished makeup. She looked nothing like the building they were standing in. It could also be an act, a sort of costume. After all, he didn't know what she did for a living. All he knew was that she looked very out of place in this ratnest.

''Cordelia Chase?''

''Myself.''

''Agent Plant and Agent Page, FBI,'' Dean introduced, holding up his faux badge licence. ''We're here for the home invasion/double suicide.''

The redhead glanced at their badges, confirming their FBI licences, but was nonetheless confused to see the agents on her doorstep. ''The case is closed. I already made my deposition and the police didn't believe me for the second man. They said there would be no further investigation.'' She scoffed, shaking her head. ''After all, there was only one body...'' she added in a lower voice.

She made a point, Sam noted.

If their suspicion was correct, the second man was the spirit of the past owner who died committing suicide in this very appartement. But, they couldn't exactly tell Cordelia the truth.

The brunet shared a look with Dean, who whipped out an excuse.

''Local police closed the case. Not the FBI,'' Dean corrected smugly. ''We've been assigned to take over.''

''We don't make the rules, Miss Chase,'' Sam explained, supporting his brother's lie. ''May we come in? We'd like to ask you some questions.''

She nodded, offering them a small smile and opening her door wider. ''Sure.''

The brothers stepped inside and Dean did a double-take, glancing again at the redhead, silent-whistling at Sam as she walked in front of them, her dress hugging her body in all the right places. Glaring at him, Sam smacked Dean's stomach, bringing him back to business.

''Would you like something to drink? Water? Coffee? Tea? I should have some in a cupboard...'' Cordelia kindly offered, passing by the small kitchen area.

Sam was subtly checking out the place in detail, looking for ectoplasm or other signs of the supernatural in this apartment, doing his part of the job as they followed the redhead to the living area for the interrogation. Jobs were much easier when men were the victims. At least he didn't have to remind Dean to focus on the job instead of the victim's physique.

''A coffee would be appreciated,'' Sam responded.

Cordelia nodded and headed behind the kitchen counter, turning on the kettle to boil water for Sam's coffee.  

While she was occupied elsewhere, Sam and Dean took a look around the cramped apartment. Just like the rest of the building, the apartment was barely holding up. There was a hole in one of the walls, as if someone had punched it, and the curtains were replaced by old sheets pinned up.

Walking into the living room, Dean noticed the blood stain on the wooden floor, barely faded despite the bleach that must've been used to scrub it off. Blood was a bitch to get off, he knew that.

''How long have you been living here, Miss Chase?'' Sam swiped his finger on the bookshelf near the hallway, frowning at the heavy amount of dirt that seemed to be on all of the furniture, as if the place hadn't been occupied for a long time.

''A couple weeks. I'll be frank with you, this apartment wouldn't have been my first choice, but I didn't have much of a choice. There was a flood in my old building,'' she explained, pouring the water in the mug, watching as the coffee grains dissolved in the hot water and turned it dark. ‘’Take a seat.’’

The two brothers shared a look before sitting on the not-so-fresh looking floral couch, a stench of old fabric filling their nostrils as they sank into it.

Sam thanked Cordelia as she set the mug on the small table before sitting down on the armchair adjacent to the couch, resting her manicured hands over her lap.

Once again, her well-mannered behavior struck Sam a certain way. Something felt off, but he couldn't pinpoint what.

''So, Miss Chase,'' Dean started, clearing his throat, causing his little brother to snap out of his trance. ''We've read your deposition and you said you walked in to the first man shooting himself and falling to the floor. You saw the second man pick up the gun and bring it to his temple, but closed your eyes the second you saw him press the trigger.’’ Cordelia nodded and Dean pursued. ‘’I don't mean to trigger you, but did you see the other man shooting himself? Did you see him fall to the ground?''

The young woman shifted, blue eyes cast down, feeling uneasy and slightly nauseous at the memories. ''No. I closed my eyes and ran out the second I heard the gunshot. I...I didn't want to witness a bullet going through someone's head.''

''Understandable,'' Sam agreed with a tight lipped smile. ''It could be possible that the second man, the elder one, missed his shot and fled. Do you have a balcony or a window that could be big enough to escape through?'' he questioned, glancing around.

Cordelia shook her head. ''No balcony. One of my windows is broken and sealed with wood, and I doubt someone can pass through the second.'' She stifled a short laugh. ''And, even if he did - no offence to my elders -, but I'm on the fifth floor, sir. Do you really think a man in his fifties could live through that fall and run away?''

Admittedly, she wasn't wrong.

''It was a theory, Miss Chase,'' Sam explained. ''We, just like you, are trying to figure out what happened. We have to think of all the possibilities.''

.

After leaving Cordelia's apartment, the Winchesters decided to separate.

Dean went back to the motel to research information about the victims, hopefully finding a connection between the younger victim and the ghost - even a name would be good - while Sam headed to the first floor to have a talk with the building's owner. An old man in his mid-sixties named Clifford Harrison - very lucid for his age. His white hair was pushed back and his pants were held by suspenders in a classic old man style.

The surprise on his face when he saw an FBI agent at his door was clear as glass. The man knitted his eyebrows, totally clueless about the agent’s motive, but didn't argue and let him in. After all, he was an agent of the law.

''I'd like to ask you questions about Lucian Stine, one of your past tenants,'' started Sam, skipping on the gore-y incident's details, figuring that Clifford didn't need a reminder of what happened in Miss Chase's appartement. As the building's owner, he must've been bombarded with journalists all week, pestering him with their filterless questions.

Instead, Mr. Harrison’s confusion deepened. ''Lucian Stine? I haven't heard that name in a moment…’’

Sam offered him a brief smile, mistaking the man’s confusion for nostalgia. ''Could you tell me about Mr. Stine?’’

When doing his research, just like the other suicide victim, Sam hadn’t been able to find a lot of information about this Lucian Stine. He seemed to be a quiet and lonesome person without any antecedents with the law.

Pursing his lips, the old man searched his memory for the rightful information. ''I don't remember ever seeing someone visiting him. I don’t think he had children either. Pardon me, but may I know why you are asking me about Lucian? Are you looking for him? If so, I’m afraid I cannot help you. I don’t keep in contact with my past tenants.''

Sam frowned at the man’s words. Does he not remember that Lucian died? Maybe he was wrong about his lucidity.

''I’m here on the behalf of the recent suicide that happened in the same appartement a week ago.’’

''I'm sorry, Agent, but there was no recent suicide in this building. It must be a mistake.''

Had he been not notified of the incident? As the building’s owner, the cops are obligated to inform him of all incidents that happen on his property. It's a common procedure.

‘’Mr. Stine occupied the apartment eleven, right?'' Sam asked, making sure Mr. Harrison wasn’t mixing him with another past tenant.

Clifford nodded. ''Yes. He did occupy this apartment, but the place hasn't been occupied since he left last December. This building is quite outdated and away from centerville. It’s difficult to find new tenants.’’

‘’Excuse me? Last December ?’’ the tall Winchester repeated.

.

On his side, Dean hadn’t been able to find the younger man’s name - nor anything about the double suicide. There was only one article about the double suicide online - very brief and to the point. Nothing in the local newspaper or the obituaries rubrik. It was odd.

Just as Sam exited Clifford’s apartment, Dean had returned, empty handed. The brothers shared their new information - or, lack of - and decided to go back to Cordelia’s.

This time, they weren’t as nice.

Dean’s fist hit the door firmly, impatiently.

As if she knew they would come back, Cordelia opened the door almost immediately. She sighed, defeated. ‘’I can explain.’’

.

‘’I declared a false home invasion and used my magic to simulate gunshot noises, knowing the tragic incident would catch Sam's attention. Turned out I was right. You two showed up.’’ Cordelia flashed them a small smile of victory. ''It was a set up, a trap . No double - or single - suicide happened in this apartment, I'm afraid.''

Magic? She’s a witch ?

Instinctively, Dean reached for his gun, hidden inside his jacket, ready to fire at the redhead. There was no witch bullet in it, but it would wound her and slow her down if needed.

She held her hands in surrender, shaking her head. ''Worry not, I'm not here to fight you. Far from. I'm actually looking for help. From you both.''

Sam glanced at Dean, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but the latter was just as lost. ''Help?'' Sam repeated, demanding explanations.

The redhead nodded. ''I'm looking for my mother.''

Dean scoffed, shaking his head. ''I think you're mistaking us for Parent Finders, sweetheart. I'm sure your local adoption center will be better help than us.''

After having been exposed to the media and putting their lives in jeopardy, the Winchesters had prefered to keep their identity on the down low. Only hunters, demons and other creatures of the night knew about them which meant, if the redhead had reached out to Sam and Dean, it wasn't by scrolling on a random list of names. She knew who they were.

Cert, she was a witch, but most witches weren’t fans of the brothers; they avoid them at all cost.

''I'm afraid they won't be of any help. My mother isn't exactly on their registers.''

Confusion deepened on Sam's forehead. ''What do you mean? Was the adoption illegal?''

Cordelia ignored the question. ''You know my mother. If I'm not mistaken, you've made deals with her in the past. Rowena Macleod. Rings a bell?''

While the name was very familiar, both boys were astounded at the bomb Cordelia had dropped. They've known Rowena for a little over two years and she never mentioned having a daughter. As far as the Winchesters knew, Rowena had one son - Fergus, now known as Crowley.

Dean furrowed his eyebrows. ‘’I get that you want to find Rowena, but where does this concern us? If you’re looking for her number, we don’t have it.’’

‘’What I’m about to tell you concerns everyone . You, me, Crowley... Lucifer .’’

Sam’s back straightened at the mention of the archangel, shoulder tensing. He gulped. Years have passed since Lucifer had tormented him mentally, but a part of him is always haunted by those past torments. Even in the Cage, as Lucifer’s vessel. Those moments were unforgettable, forever carved into Sam’s mind.

‘’Lucifer?’’ Dean repeated. ‘’He’s in the Cage.’’

‘’Is he really?’’

‘’He can’t escape from the inside. I’ve been trapped in there before,’’ Sam confirmed.

Dean glanced at his brother, seeing only one possibility. ‘’Unless someone lets him out…’’

‘’What makes you believe Lucifer is out of the Cage? There are very few ways to open the Cage and they are all very complex.’’

‘’For starter, he has to be present on his wedding day.’’

‘’W-wedding?’’ Sam repeated, incredulously.

The redhead hummed. ‘’You boys are in for a long story.’’ She motioned to the living area. ‘’Shall we sit?’’

.

‘'A week ago, my Coven has exiled me for being supposedly promised to Lucifer which is considered the ultimate betrayal to my Coven. I tried telling the High Priestess that this alliance wasn't my doing, that I'd never agree to side with the devil, but she wouldn't hear a thing…’’

In the world of witches, when a High Priestess takes a decision, it’s final . No one dares standing up to her or going against her decision. You owe respect and obedience to your High Priestess. Unless you want to deposit a complaint to the Grand Coven...but it might take time for them to return to you. And, most of the time, it’s more trouble than necessary.

''According to the whispers, I've agreed to rule Hell at his side and be his queen.'' The redhead laughed sarcastically. ''I must've gone mad because I would never ever agree to his misogynist rulings and beliefs. I'm all in to be titled as queen, but never as second ruler. I'm a woman of power, the daughter of an extremely powerful witch, and I will not let any man rule me. Especially not to Lucifer.''

Her silver tongue and fierce attitude confirmed the two brothers that she was without a doubt her mother's daughter.

Sam cocked an eyebrow. ''How does this has to do with Rowena?''

''You still haven't caught on?’’ Cordelia shook her head in discouragement. ‘’You Winchesters are so slow...''

''Wait. You think Rowena did this? That she sold you to Lucifer?''

‘'Undoubtedly. Revenge is her second name. She must've made this arrangement to get back at me. My mother has no sense of loyalty. She could throw her children in a pit of hellfire without hesitation or remorse.''

Sam agreed, Rowena wasn't a good mother. Although she claimed to love and care for Crowley, she played with his emotions and manipulated him to gain control over him so she could use his position as the King of Hell to her advantage and to further her own goals.

''Rowena can be...selfish and vengeful, but selling her daughter to the one who killed her two times sounds extreme,’’ Sam rationalized, incapable to believe that Rowena was that evil.

Cordelia smiled smugly, about to spill some tea. ''I bet she told you about being excommunicated by the Grand Coven as a result of her violent and forceful use of magic? Well, let's say it wasn't the only reason. My father was a non-witch. It's miraculous that I was born with the gift of magic. Given so, Rowena didn't think my father's identity would get to the Grand Coven's ears, but it did. Since then, she blamed me for her excommunication.''

''Why would she hold a grudge against you for something she is responsible of?''

''After all, she is the one who decided to-''

Sam gave a warning glare to her older brother. ''Dean.''

The redhead shrugged. ''Jealousy, perhaps? I've recently been growing in powers inside my Coven, currently in line to be the next High Priestess. I ignore how she got the tip, but this is a vendetta. She sold me to Lucifer so I couldn't thrive among my Coven, among the witchcraft world.''

‘’I agree that Rowena’s thirst for revenge is strong, but I doubt she’d go to this extent do doom you without getting something in exchange.’’

‘’Why don’t you ask her, Samuel? Right, we don’t know where she is.’’

Dean stifled a laugh, smug smile on his lips.

.

Lebanon, Kansas

Eight hours later, they all made it to the bunker. The heavy door closed behind them, echoing loudly and locking itself shut, startling Cordelia. The brothers walked further in, Dean leading the way downstairs, duffel bag in his left hand.

Cordelia glanced around as they stepped down, admiring the bunker’s industrial look. Everything was made of brick, wood or cement; all durable materials. There was also a rustic vibe and some modern touches, giving the place the slight warmth it needed. It wasn’t what the redhead used to live in, but it was better than the dump she spent the past few days in.

At least, here, nothing was falling apart.

‘’So, this place is warded against any evil ever created?’’ the redhead repeated, walking around the war room, exploring a bit even though there wasn’t much in here. Just a large oval table with a map as table-top and chairs around it.

Sam ran a hand over his face, wiping the tiredness away, and put his bag on the table, thankful to be home after a long drive. They hadn’t stopped on the way home other than to get food so he was pretty tired - and sore from being cramped for over twelve hours in Dean’s car. The sleep quality of the passenger seat didn’t compare to his bed.

‘’Yes. But-’’

Cordelia raised an eyebrow at him, not liking his answer already. ‘’There’s a ‘but’?’’

Sam gave her an uncomfortable smile, dreading the coming explanation. Why was he the one announcing bad news to a witch? Rowena’s daughter, of them all. If she was anything like her mother, blowing up a building because someone got on her wrong side wouldn’t be a problem.

‘’Biblically, Lucifer is an angel- an archangel . Despite their…overly strict rules and being major dicks all the time, angels aren’t considered evil.’’

‘’Lucifer is the devil incarnate, how can he not be considered evil?’’

‘’Well, we don’t make the rules.’’

‘’Why did you bring me here then if this place won’t keep me safe from Lucifer?’’

‘’Surely, Lucifer isn't working by himself. He must’ve got demons to do his dirty work, including searching for you. Unlike angels, demons can’t come in.’’

‘’So I’m on lockdown ?’’ she clarified.

‘’Until we find Rowena and get a clear of the story, yes,’’ Dean answered, removing his suit jacket, leaving him in his white dress shirt and loosened tie, annoyed by how restrictive and hot he was getting in his faux-FBI attire. Don’t get him wrong, he liked this job, saving people and hunting things, but those suits were damn uncomfortable.

''Talking about Rowena, have you tried locating her?''

Cordelia scoffed. ''No offence, Samuel, but don't you think I tried locating her before coming to you?'' She cocked an eyebrow at the tall one. ''The incantation didn't work.''

Dean held a laugh, amused by the sass Cordelia used whenever she was speaking to his brother. She wasn’t being mean to him, just quick witted and a little feisty. Dean liked it.

''Maybe she blocked her location to prevent her from being found? Rowena isn't exactly loved by her coven sisters. Or, anyone,’’ he suggested.

Cordelia scoffed a laugh. ''So I've heard! She must be hiding somewhere, away from the inevitable afterfall of her act. Especially after putting her sweet revenge plan in action.''

Grabbing his jacket off the chair’s back, Dean headed down the hallway. ‘’I’m gonna go change out of this and call Crowley. Maybe he can help us.’’

.

Before Dean returned, Crowley showed up at the bunker, dressed in his usual all-black attire.

‘’Long time no see, sister,’’ he greeted, standing in the middle of the war room, eyes on the familiar redhead by Sam. She looked fiercer than he remembered, a perfect, younger portrait of their mother.

Cordelia stood, all high and mighty, glancing at her brother. ‘’Fergus.’’

The way she said his name had the same effect when Rowena did.

The demon inhaled a breath, cringing. ‘’It’s Crowley .’’

‘’Fergus,’’ she repeated, amusement in her venom tongue.

‘’It’s Crowl-’’

''There's no need to repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time,'' Cordelia said, interrupting her brother in his correction. ‘’I thought demons couldn’t teleport inside the bunker.’’ She turned to Sam. ‘’Is this another one of your lies, Samuel?’’

He flashed her a curt smile. ‘’There’s exceptions.’’

‘’We’ve summoned him here,’’ Dean explained, walking into the war room from the library, his suit having been replaced by a more casual attire: a flannel and jeans.

Cordelia’s eyes followed the voice, giving Dean a subtle head to toe look before returning her attention to the Sam and Crowley.

‘’Squirrel! Nice of you to join us,’’ Crowley pointed, acknowledging the older Winchester.

‘’How’s the family reunion going?’’

‘’As you can see, no one’s killed anyone.’’

‘’Who said I haven’t slipped an hex bag in your pocket?’’

Slightly paranoid, the King of Hell patted his pockets, checking if there was anything in them. While hex bags couldn't kill him, some could cause serious injuries.  

He rolled his eyes, recoiling his hands when catching the amused smile on her lips. ‘’Ha! Very funny.’’

Sam cleared his throat. ‘’Back to business.’’

Crowley’s posture straightened, haughty. ‘’So, you need my help.’’

‘’Yes. We need to find someone,’’ Dean explained.

‘’I’m not a tracker device-’’

‘’It’s Rowena,’’ Cordelia interrupted.

The mention of his mother caught Crowley’s attention. ‘’Our mother?’’ he repeated. ‘’Why do you want to find her? If it’s to try and mingle with her, I suggest you cross that idea. Trust me, we’re all better off without her.’’

‘’Oh, I know. Searching for her doesn't enchant me. I’d rather stay far away from her, all she do is poison people’s lives, but I need to speak to her. I need to ask her why she made me her personal vendetta.’’

Crowley frowned and they filled him in on the details of Rowena’s possible latest doings, skipping no details. Although it was mostly concerning Cordelia, Crowley was concerned too - by default - since is throne and position as king of Hell were on the table.

‘’That evil bitch…’’ Crowley paused, feeling like some part was missing.  ‘’But, why? She might’ve done this for revenge, but revenge doesn’t suffice her, she needs to get something in return.’’

‘’It’s the reason we need to find her. There’s some holes that we assumes she’ll have answers for,’’ Sam explained.

‘’I’ll have my demons searching for her. I’ll fill you in on any leads I have.’’

.

A clatter of glass and wood echoed as Dean crossed the bunker's hallway to get to his room, catching his attention. The bunker didn't have many residents beside him and Sam and Dean knew from years of cohabitation that Sam rarely gets up during the night.

Alert, Dean made his way to the library, debating whether or not making a run back to the guns he had just finished cleaning minutes ago. There was a high possibility that Cas was back, but according to his last call, he was still searching for fellow angels that survived the fall. Therefore, it couldn't be him.

That left only one option: an intruder.

Longing the wall quietly, Dean was ready to call out to Sam for backup when a woman's thick accent echoed, the choice of curse words could only belong to one Scottish redhead - or her daughter.

'' Bollocks !''

Stepping away from the wall, Dean regained composure, stepping in the library, catching sight of Cordelia in her black dress, heavy glass of whiskey in her left hand and its bottle tilted on the side, the auburn liquid spilled on the wooden table.

''Found my secret stash, I see,'' Dean commented, making his presence known. ''This whiskey cost me a hefty penny,'' he added, nodding at the good old bottle of whiskey and its remaining.

The redhead snapped her head up, slightly taken by surprise. ''You spying on me, Winchester?''

Dean shook his head and she downed her drink in one swig, impressing the blond.

''I'd apologize for finishing your whiskey, but I'm not even sorry.'' A slurred laugh escaped her lips and she set the empty glass down, almost missing the table and shattering.

''Drinking your problems away won't solve anything. Trust me, I know. It numbs them for a few hours before they're back at you, more present than ever.''

''I'm not an idiot, Dean.'' Cordelia stepped in his direction, high heels clicking on the cement. ''Does it stop you from drinking? I doubt so considering the amount of bottles you have here.''

Dean smiled dryly. ''And I thought we didn't have anything in common, turn out we pick the same poison.''

''I've been excommunicated from my beloved coven and promised to Lucifer, do I need another reason to drink?''

Fair point .

The Winchesters had the lovely occasion to meet Lucifer in the past and, needless to say, it was never pleasing nor accompanied by good news. Quite the contrary. He had caused the death of their mother, beaten Dean to almost death, mentally tortured Sam as a hallucination, and many more.

''And you.'' She nodded at Dean, interrupting his thoughts. ''What are you trying to run away from?''

The words left his lips before he realized it, his own honesty so blunt it surprised him. ''Myself.''

[fanfictionaries]

Love and Academia Ch. 10 - Friends and Feelings

Pairing: AU Professor!Bucky x OFC

Warnings: Swearing, smut, NSFW/18+ only, mentions of death/violence/suicide, Angst

Author’s note: A sweet, little Steve/Natasha chapter. Super short. Super sweet. 

Just thought I’d give you guys a little Steve/Natasha interaction. I love them so much and I know some people have said how much they love them as well! So hopefully this holds you over till the next chapter is up! 

And as always, I do not currently have a beta reader so please excuse any larger issues. It’s just little ol’ me!

***

“I said, stop. Moving,” Natasha huffed, attempting to grab ahold of Steve’s wrist once again. However, just as she had it within her grasp, he moved it, too engrossed in his animated ramblings to stay still.

“I’m just saying, you should have seen the way they were looking at each other!” exclaimed Steve, waving his free hand wildly through the air for emphasis. The full movement of his other arm currently inhibited by the pair of handcuffs keeping him secured to the metal headboard. “You know, I’m happy that he finally feels like he’s in a place where he can start moving on from Diane, but I don’t think Emily is the best person to move on with. Not that I don’t think your friend is great. It’s just…I mean she’s his student.”

He had been going on about Bucky and Emily since he’d shown up to her apartment that afternoon. Early on, Natasha reminded him that what the two of them did was none of their concern. They could only be supportive, give their best advice and let them make their own decisions – they were adults. Steve agreed. But the thoughts continued to flow past his lips like word vomit.

“Aha!” she exclaimed, finally capturing his right arm and closing the cool metal around his wrist.

Completely unfazed by the full restraint of his upper body, Steve continued to ramble, “But at the same time, they do seem really great together. She makes him smile. He almost never smiles anymo—”

“Shh, shh, shh,” Natasha cooed, placing a finger to Steve’s lips and moving to straddle his lap. “I think it’s really sweet how much you care about your friend. But for now, new rule: no Bucky in our bed. Understood?”

To emphasize her point, she ran a sharp nail from his temple down to his lower abdomen, leaving a red, raw line behind. The large man shuddered underneath her, letting a small whimper out as he closed his eyes. A wave of power washed over her. She loved seeing him like this. So strong. So muscular. So pretty. So helpless. Entirely under her control.

“I said, understood?” Natasha asked again, settling her weight onto his lap fully, grinding against his budding erection.

“Yes ma’am,” Steve groaned out, breathing harsher now.

“Good boy,” she hummed, leaning forward and placing light kisses along his sharp jaw line. She was just reaching the center of his chest, the light smattering of blond chest hair tickling her lips when the silence was broken.

“I don’t know. What-what do you think?”

With a heavy sigh, Natasha sat up, looking down at the adorably sensitive man beneath her. She couldn’t bring herself to be mad at him. It was endearing how much he cared about their friends. He had a good heart and she couldn’t fault him for that – even if it did interfere with her sex life.

“Okay, if we’re going to talk about this, I have a few questions.” Steve nodded at her conditions. Scooting up his body, she seated herself on his lower stomach and ran a hand through her red curls. “Isn’t Bucky married?”

Steve seemed to grapple with the question for a few moments before answering, “Yes and no.”

“You’re either married or you’re not Stevie. Is Diane in the picture or not?” Natasha raised an eyebrow at the man below her.

Steve sighed, mouth pressed into a thin line, “No, she’s not in the picture. But Buck, he’s…he’s having a hard time coming to terms with it. I’ve tried to get him to talk to me about it, but he’s stubborn. You can’t make him talk about anything he doesn’t want to. Emotions included.”

“Well that explains the wedding ring. It sounds like he’s not allowing himself to reach the sixth step of rebuilding after divorce – acceptance.” Natasha tapped her fingers against the hard muscle of Steve’s chest as she thought.

“I think he’s moving towards acceptance, but he still refuses to talk about what happened in-depth. It’s like he’s trying to cope with it in his own way, which I understand but—”

“You can’t force him to talk about it. People process things in their own way. If what you say is true and he’s starting to come to grips with it, even if it’s in a way you don’t understand, you have to let him. It might not be the healthiest way, but he is making an effort,” said Natasha, her heart going out to the soft, kind man. He cared so much. Clearly, he wanted to fix Bucky’s problems for him, but unfortunately that’s not the way things worked.

“You’re right. You’re right. He’s an adult. I have to let him make his own decisions.”

Natasha nodded, but felt overwhelmed by confliction. As much as she had preached staying out of the situation, now that she knew Bucky wasn’t actually married, she was tempted to tell Emily. It would certainly sooth the woman’s conscience. No matter how many times she tried to tell Emily that she was not to blame, she knew it still bothered her. Emily had some hang ups, most likely due to a childhood she refused to share. But the biggest one seemed to be fidelity. Therefore, as a friend she felt an obligation to ease her guilt. However, it really wasn’t her place to share the information. While Steve hadn’t explicitly stated the information was private, she also knew that it wasn’t common knowledge. It might actually be a good thing that Emily still believed he was married. The last thing her best friend needed was the drama of becoming involved with an emotionally unavailable man. This thought brought her to her second question.

“Do you really think Bucky would seriously pursue Emily?”

“If you’d asked me that question ten years ago, I’d say absolutely not. He’s always been the more cautious one—”

“Oh, and you’re the reckless, wild one?” Natasha laughed.

“You’ve got me handcuffed to a bed and I let you do that…thing the other night. I’d say that’s pretty wild,” said Steve, an impressive blush spreading across his whole upper body.

“Mmmmm, if I recall correctly, you thoroughly enjoyed ‘that thing’,” Natasha replied impishly, rubbing her palms over his chest.

“Maybe I did.”

“Just maybe? So, if I suggested doing that thing again tonight, you’d be against it?”

“Let’s not get too ahead of ourselves,” said Steve playfully, lifting his hips to unseat the woman above him.

She fell forward, letting out a small yelp when her lower body slid down his torso till her center landed flush against his mouth. The yelp quickly dissolved into a moan. His tongue snaking out to give a long, warm lick over her lace covered folds; teeth nipping at her clit. Reaching a hand down, Natasha shifted her panties to the side and the conversation of Bucky and Emily to the backburner.

***

Steve stared down at the woman in his arms, breathing deeply as she slept. Moonlight shown through the gap in the curtain, falling perfectly over her face. She was beautiful. Beautiful and strong and supportive and kind. She was all of those things and most surprisingly, she was his. Or at least, he wanted her to be. They hadn’t ‘the talk’ yet. Hell, they’d only just become intimate. It might be too soon, but Steve was ready to commit. More ready than he ever thought he’d be after Peggy. Now, knowing what he had with Nat, what he felt with Nat, his relationship with Peggy felt trivial.

Peggy was his high school sweetheart.  He had loved her. She had loved him. But they’d never really fit like he and Nat did. Where Peggy had been rigid and unmoving, Nat was compromising. Where Peggy had been serious, Nat was fun. Peggy had been career driven; Nat was emotion driven – just like him. Natasha appealed more to the reckless side of him, while Peggy always seemed to be reeling it in, trying to tone him down. It wasn’t like he was that crazy; he was a kindergarten teach for crying out loud! Still, there was a part of him that wanted adventure, to push his limits. Natasha wanted all those same things. She made him laugh. She kept him on his toes. She cared. Really cared. When she’d shown up to his school’s bake sale with two large containers of cookies and a nervous smile, his heart had skipped a beat. She was smart. So smart. She always knew the perfect thing to say and she really listened.

“I love you.” He spoke the words softly, letting the sound and feel of them settle in his mouth.

“Do you always tell girls you love them when you think they’re sleeping?” Natasha murmured, a small smile forming on her lips.

Steve’s heart stopped. He was mortified. His whole body went rigid, unsure of what to do or say. He thought for sure she was asleep. The words were true and genuine, but he wasn’t ready for her to hear them. It was way too early to say, ‘I love you’. Yet, here he was – the idiot that said it and now she was going to run screaming.

Moving closer to him, nuzzling her face into his chest, she placed a kiss to his pec, “Calm down big boy. I love you too.”

Letting out the breath he’d been holding, he wrapped his arms tighter around her. Pulling her close, he kissed the top of her head, breathing in the soft scent of her. Joy and content overtook him, carrying him off into a blissful sleep. The distant echo of her words repeating in his mind:

I love you.

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