#i also love blue buster hes very cool and a good boy

[yo-yo-yoshiko]

So Go Busters is great.

[teddy06writes]

A Night In Las Vegas

requested by this anon: “I had the BEST idea: CC!Quackity came up with the idea of his Las Nevadas character arc after going to Las Vegas and meeting Reader there. Maybe one night the reader decides to go and twitch and finds quackity doing a lore stream and the reader is like: no way, it’s the guy I met in Vegas.”

{I love this concept, sorry it took so long for me to get out}

Quackity x reader

trigger warnings: some swears

premise: after getting ditched by your friends on the last night of your long weekend in vegas you run into a very interesting guy who doesn’t hesitate to befriend you. But what happens months later when he still seems to be running circles in your mind?

{covid don’t exist here, no sir}

{for the sake of the story, readers favorite color is blue, if its not, either pretend it is, or get over it}

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

10:34pm

“You can’t just- you can’t kick me out!” You yelled. 

Your bestfriend laughed, “Just find somewhere to go for a few hours! Me and Hunter want alone time!” 

“A few fucking hours!?! Seriously?!” But your duffle bag had already been thrown at your feet, and the hotel door room was swinging closed, muffled giggles coming from inside.

Groaning, you picked up your bag, where were you supposed to go now? 

“Not that I was like- listening in or anything- but damn that sucks.” 

You jumped turning to see a man with black hair sticking out of his beanie standing in front of the door diagonal from yours. 

“Uh- yeah. Last night in Vegas and I get ditched for a random hook up,” You scoffed, “I should’ve known it would happen.” 

“That’s not cool, uh- I’m Alex.” He stepped forward, offering his hand. 

Somewhat reluctantly, you shook his hand, “(y/n).” 

He nodded, “I was going to head out for a late night wander, find something to do-, preferably away from all the hookups that seem to be happing around us right now. If you want to come.” 

You glanced around, “Seriously?” 

“Oh- god that did sound kinda creepy didn’t it,” Alex scrubbed a hand over his face, “Sorry- I- you can just forget about this then-” 

“No! I mean- You don’t seem like a rapist or anything. I’ll come with.” 

He grinned, “Poggers, you can, leave that, in my room, if you want. Just seems like a pain to lug around everywhere.” 

You bit your lip, “Leaving my belongings in a strangers room while I go with said stranger to find something interesting to do, sure- why not?”

~~

10:57pm

Somehow, you found yourself wandering out of the hotel lobby, and onto the crowded streets along side Alex. 

“So.... whats your favorite color?” He asked as you walked.

You laughed, “What?” 

“We’re like, total strangers- it was a question, to get to know you.” He tucked his hands into his pockets. 

“Oh, well-” before you could finish your sentence, there was a large amount of gasps and yells from the crowd in front of you.

“What’s going on?” Alex asked quietly. 

You craned your neck to look over the crowd, gasping, “The water show! With the fountains outside of Caesar’s Palace!” You grabbed his hand, tugging him with you to push through the crowd, “This was the whole reason I agreed to this trip- but we never got to it!” 

You shoved your way through the crowd until you got to the front, pressing against the barrier to watch the fountain display. 

“Holy shit.” You heard him mutter from beside you. 

You grinned, “It’s impressive right?” 

“Imagine the coding it would take to get those things to stay on time.” 

~~

11:27pm 

After the show had ended, you had kept wandering for a while, up the strip, asking various questions back and forth. 

You had found out that he was a Minecraft youtuber and a law student, though you’d had to admit, you weren’t too knowledgeable on either that subject. 

Now you were both staring up at the Dave and Busters sign, “This is a good idea right?” 

He nodded, “Definitely. Come on, I’d bet I could beat you at skee ball!” 

Laughing, you followed him into the building, and up the stairs toward the arcade entrance, “Your on!” 

After buying the credit cards for access to the games, you grabbed his hand, dragging him over to the skee ball lanes. 

“Lets go!” He shouted, a few minutes later, upon realizing your score was a total of 10 points behind his, “I’m popping off!”

You laughed, “Okay, what game’s next?” 

Nearly an hour later, you had both run out of credits, and laughing, made you way up to the prize area. 

“Do you think its possible to compile our tickets?” He asked. 

“Why?” 

You followed his pointing finger to the large stuffed dragons sitting on one shelf. 

“We need him.” You said immediately.

After picking out a bright red dragon, you began to argue over the name as you made your way to the counter. 

“What about Carl?” You suggested. 

He shook his head, “I have a friend named Karl.” 

“How ‘bout........ Phil?” 

“I also know a Phil.” 

“Hmmmm, what about Sebastian?” 

“He doesn’t look like a Sebastian!” 

You frowned, “Well do you have any ideas then?” 

Alex thought for a moment, “Albert.” 

You looked down at the dragon, “Albert it is.” 

At the counter Alex convinced the reluctant worker to allow you to use both the cards credit totals, and then you went happily on your way out of the building, stopping to take a picture of Albert in front of the sign, which Alex posted to twitter with the comment of, “Look at our son!” 

You’d staid mostly out of frame, but he managed to get about half of your side, since you were the one holding Albert. 

“Do you think any pf the buffets are still open?” Alex asked. 

“I hope so, I’m starving.” You giggled. 

~~ 12:06am

The buffet was somewhat deserted, and you and Alex had grabbed seats in one of the corners after getting plates full of food.

Albert sat on the table between you as you talked. 

“So it’s roleplay- but in Minecraft?” You asked, barley holding back a laugh.

He nodded, chuckling, “It sounds stupid, I know, but it’s like- huge. Especially since technically I’m getting back into the main lore now, with the whole project: vegas thing.” 

“Project Vegas?” You asked. 

He nodded again, “My character, he’s been through almost everything that's happened, and everything always ends to blow up in his face, literally sometimes. He’s built contries from the ground up- as stupid as that sounds- but they always fail, but this one won’t fail.

“I’m partnering with another guy on the server to set up a whole economy, he’s making a bank, and I’m making- well I’m making my own Vegas.” 

You took a sip of your drink, “What’s it going to be called?” 

“I haven’t figured it out yet,” He admitted, “I wanted to just call it Las Vegas but the names already taken.”

With a chuckle you shifted in your seat, “What about....- what about Las Nevada's?” 

He laughed, “I like that.” 

“Tell me more about this server then, I still don’t understand the story.” 

With another chuckle he launched into the story, “Well, it all started when this guy called Wilbur Soot decided he wanted to start a nation....”

~~ 3:18am

“Blue.” 

You were back at the hotel now, still with Quackity, sitting out on the balcony of his room. Some how, you had ended up having some slightly deep talk about life and death and a million other things before lapsing into silence, simply watching the blinking lights of the city. 

“What?” He asked softly. 

“You asked me my favorite color, ten minutes after we met. It’s blue- that's my favorite color.” You shivered against a cold breeze. 

Alex shifted minutely closer, “Why?” 

You shrugged, “It can be so many things. Deep and dark and mysterious but also light like the summer sky and filled with hope. There’s a million shades from happiness to anger, and to everyone it could mean something else.” 

“I like that.” He said quietly. 

~~

7:04am

You yawned, rubbing sleep out of your eyes as the car drew closer to the airport.

Alex tapped on the steering wheel in time with the music, quietly humming along. 

“Oh, I see my friend, they actually waited for me.” You said as the car pulled up to the curb. 

“How considerate.” He chuckled, climbing out of the car. 

You followed suit, retrieving your duffle bag from the back seat. 

“Well, it was cool knowing you Alex.” You said. 

“Likewise.” 

Before you started to walk away you remembered, and quickly turned back to where he was standing, pulling Albert out of your bag, “Here, he’s yours. You spent more tickets on him than I did.” 

He shook his head, “Keep him. I give you full custody of our son.” 

“Oh- okay... bye then.” 

You barley made it a few steps before he was quickly catching up to you, grabbing your arm and spinning you to press his lips on yours. 

“Good luck with your shitty friends.” He breathed, before hurrying back to his car, leaving you flustered and running to catch up to your friend. 

~~

One and A Half Months later

It had been over a month since the Vegas trip, but you still hadn’t gotten Alex out of your head. 

You had clicked, on some level, and the late night conversation you had shared seemed to keep you thinking about him.

Now, you scrolled aimlessly through twitter, checking the trending tags until you came across one called “LAS NEVADAS” 

Now that piqued your interest, and clicking on it, you found posts of people live tweeting an event- no a live stream. And not just any live stream- a Minecraft stream.

Quickly you opened a new tab, pulling up twitch as fast as you could. 

What was the name of his channel? Oh god why did you forget?

Returning to twitter you searched until you found a link, following it to a new twitch tab. 

And there he was. 

The boy who had been doing laps around your mind was actually there, talking to another character. 

“Look Sam, you and me, we could control everything. I need the bank to help fund Las Nevada’s, we can be partners.” 

You sat, watching the stream, enthralled. 

Once it had ended, you still could hardly believe you found him, quickly following another link back to his twitter and opening a direct message. 

Y/n: Um, this is awkward, idk if you remeber this, but we met in vegas, about a month ago, and I had no idea how to find you until the stream today

quackityHQ: uh, hi? 

qusckityHQ: proof?

Quickly you sent him the picture you had taken of him with Albert, 

y/n: uhhh, bam, proof? 

y/n: our son is sitting on my head board right now

quackityHQ: holy shit

[expired-monster-craft-smp]

Vibes Dream SMP members give off (in my opinion)

Dream

Barked at people in high school ironically but it became unironic real quick

Can’t cook very well but is good with a knife, especially at a fast pace

One of those kids who either purposely spells the first word wrong in a spelling bee to just be done with it right away or tries the hardest and manages to win (there is no inbetween for this heathen)

Bites ice cream with his teeth

Has snorted pixie stix far too many times and sneezed blue after each time

Eats bananas with the peels

Wears mismatched socks

Has taken a bite out of a pool noodle because he liked the texture and impulsively bit it (ADHD things✨😌)

Walks around looking extremely high but he’s just spacin out and stuck in his head

Dreams (lmao) in Minecraft and video games in general

Will flirt with anything that moves but has no idea how to respond to compliments

Makes fun of himself first before anyone else can

Has eaten an orange peel and it wasn’t that bad in his humble opinion

Wears khaki shorts

Eats the wax part of the baby bell cheese

Doesn’t actually know what genre his music taste is cause he vibes to everything

Georgenotfound

Picks at the skin on his lip when it’s dry so it bleeds and he tries not to give in by licking his lips often enough to the point where it became a habit

Wears velcro shoes because he doesn’t feel like tying them (he knows how, he just doesn’t wanna do it)

Eats peanut butter straight from the jar

Makes that disgusting “ants on a log” thing (celery stick filled with peanut butter topped with a row of raisins)

Can’t drink milk plain, it’s gotta have some sort of flavour

Can draw a perfect straight line but his circles look Terrible

Eats cheez-its like cereal without milk

Loves making little noises so much like he walks around his house doin chores and he’s just goin “memememenownownwnkwkshskshkshskhs”

Hates wearing socks

Coloured his tongue with highlighters because they’re non-toxic

Constantly tapping his feet and hands to a song/beat playing in his head

I can’t imagine this man using a bike of any sort, so Imma say he doesn’t know how

Can’t be licked by dogs because he’s used to being licked by his cat so it makes him uncomfortable

Can actually sing pretty well but gets real nervous in front of people so he fucks it up

Sapnap

No idea how to cook anything other than Mac and cheese please help this man

Meows at cats because he wants to confuse them and laughs Way too hard when he does (his laugh is like sunshine so I’ll allow it)

Would be fantastic at braiding hair Idk why

Gives the BEST fuckin hugs EVER

When singing, he makes noises for the instrumental parts too

Wanted to play the drums at one point

Really likes pit bulls but he’s more of a cat person so he loves them from afar

Only vaguely knows how to shave his face properly without hurting himself

Opportunities for him come up out of pure luck but mans is skilled for them so it works out well almost Always

Used to or currently has a skateboard and isn’t too bad

ALWAYS has bruises appearing everywhere for no reason, he doesn’t even know where 90% of them are from

Calls his friends twinks to jokingly bully them and gets away with it because he himself is not a twink

Gets sudden bursts of energy in the middle of the night and just shimmies around a bit to try and deal with it

Favours spearmint over peppermint

Arsonist

Banned from three (3) Dave & Busters in Texas

Badboyhalo

Washes his hands after doing literally anything

Likes the bird exhibits at the zoo (specifically the penguins)

Very good at cooking, best at soups and stews

If he painted his nails they would definitely be a baby blue

Overthinks very simple things and it makes him look less smart than he actually is

Drinks tap water

Probably prefers whiskey over beer

Knows how to tap dance a bit

Surprisingly good at taking and handling shots

Steady hands

Adds extra chocolate to hot chocolate

Plays sudoku and is really really good at it (only uses pen when he plays)

Everytime he sees a Himalayan salt lamp he NEEDS to lick it despite knowing it’s very salty and he’ll pull a face afterwards

Not great at Rock Paper Scissors

Wears sunglasses inside for no reason at all, he just,,,Does

Still has a stuffed animal from childhood perched on his bed

Probably tried his hand at archery

Tommyinnit

He has no idea how to use a baby voice on children or animals, so he just talks to them normally

Wears socks to bed

His fingers are double jointed

Always starts twitching if he stays still for too long because he’s gotta move around

His shoes and have different laces and it bothers everyone but himself

Doodles on himself in class when he’s bored or not paying attention

Has really good hearing, both with pitch and volume

Can’t eat tomato’s by themselves, it’s either gotta be in sauce form or with something else

FUCKING LOVES STRING CHEESE

Terrible handwriting

Favourite part of a slice of bread is the crust

Wants to paint his nails black to be cool and edgy but his hands are far from steady and he has no clue how to paint nails

Pretty affectionate with close friends (like Tubbo and Wilbur) off stream/camera

He likes pears for some reason

Wilbur Soot

Is constantly having to decide between leaving his hair as is or shaving all of it off

He also thinks about adding some colour but never actually does

Most tea is gross to him

Everytime he puts a breath mint thats circular in his mouth, he pretends it’s a pill and he’s taking drugs because he thinks that’s funny

He does that vacant state as a joke but that really what he looks like when he’s spacing out

Likes to aggressively flirt with his male friends but if his female friends flirt with him, he gets a bit flustered

Has probably accidentally swallowed a guitar pick

Once drank two entire jars of pickle juice

Bonks his head on anything and everything

He has broken a pair of glasses by walking face first into a pole outside

Thinks kinetic sand is fun

Has passionate arguments with others about trivial and random topics like chicken feet

Can open a beer bottle with his teeth

Would accidentally pop and swallow a bracket if he had braces

Tubbo

Hates sharp cheddar cheese

Everytime he learns a new word it’s in every sentence he says for the next week or so

Ate candle wax for a dare once

Doesn’t know how to tie a tie and will probably never learn

Wanted to do ballet at one point but decided not to

He has eaten multiple flowers for absolutely no reason other than wanting to know how they taste

Starts vibrating if he’s too excited

Used to bite his nails

ABSOLUTELY DESPISES MUSTARD

Has eaten paper and says it doesn’t taste that bad

Enjoys telling his friends how much they mean to him (this has resulted in Tommy and Wilbur crying on a few seperate occasions)

Spaces out a lot and doesn’t often pay attention to his surroundings

Gets lost inside of Best Buy’s

Likes s’mores but doesn’t properly understand how to make them

Technoblade

Learned to cook purely out of spite and found it’s actually pretty fun

Constantly getting smacked in the face by trees when walking outside

Really likes apple pie

Everytime he looks at potatoes he thinks of all the hours he spent trying to win the potato war

Starts things as a joke and gets too into it

Doesn’t like the taste of most energy drinks

Has rubbed salt and lemon juice into an open wound to just,,see how it felt (he did it once and Hated it but did it again because he forgot what it felt like)

Sometimes hates how quiet he is because everyone he knows is loud and talks over him

Despite how he is portrayed in the Dream SMP, he is extremely loyal to his friends and would kill for them

Over seasons his food because he can’t taste it otherwise

Really good balance

Doesn’t like to wear bright colours, but still enjoys wearing colours

Good at knitting

Quackity

Actually fairly quiet when off camera

Will accidentally use Spanish grammar while speaking English sometimes

Country music confuses him

Doesn’t really like kids but they really like him

Can’t dance

Hardest drugs he’s ever done is second hand smoke from a cigarette and children’s Tylenol

His favourite jolly ranchers are the red and blue ones

He uses lighters as fidget toys basically

Will have a breakdown, take a bubble bath, and call himself the self care king

Dehydrated

Wants a pet rat but he already has a cat and doesn’t wanna risk anything

Constantly questions why his main source of income is playing Minecraft with two 16 year olds

Karl Jacobs

Probably ate a spider once

Would wear those socks that are like gloves for you feet where it separates all the toes

Eats ravioli straight from the can, cold

Can answer an incredibly complex math equation fairly easily but will stumble over 12x11

Loves kids so much and speaks to them in a soft voice

Tried making ramen in a coffee pot and broke it

Drinks 2 monster energy drinks a day on average

Likes to open walnuts with his teeth but doesn’t actually eat them

The embodiment of that one John Maulany joke where he says you could spill soup in his lap and HE’D apologize to YOU

Loves physical affection so so much!!!!

If he moves his wrists in a certain way, they pop Really Loudly

Fantastic at making cookies

Fundy

Lowkey actually a furry but more on like, a cat boy level than fursuit level

Drives a Honda Civic

Likes ABBA

Adds parsley to almost anything he makes food-wise

Loves garlic bread so much, he’d commit a federal crime for it

Middle child vibes

Decent at skiing

Good at singing but isn’t terribly confident

Seems responsible at first glance but in reality he’s pretty chaotic and childish

Bad at spelling

Always cuts his nails way too short so they always feel weird/hurt

Likes bracelets and rings

Thinks pastel colours slap

JSchlatt

Despite the character he plays, he’s actually really sweet

He’s genuinely that cryptic off camera as he is on camera

Can cook but chooses not to most of the time

Would probably say “what pussy size you wear” to anyone who asks him to buy pads

Not actually as intimidating as he appears to be

Lowkey would fight a child

Shuts down when someone compliments him, often using aggression as a front because holy shit they just called him handsome and kind what the Fuck-

Jokingly says his license is suspended but in all actuality he never got his license in the first place

He has two (2) extra teeth but they don’t need to be removed so he kept them

Has a stick n poke of a stickman on his ankle he got in high school

Likes physics

This is already very long, and I still plan on adding more.

[atlafan]

My Everything - Part Nine

A Take it Slow Sequel

What happens with Harry and Y/N after he proposes? How will the two navigate the engaged life while also continuing to juggle their jobs, friends, and families? Let’s find out.

Warnings: Fluff and Smut! Get your tissues for all the feels! 

a/n: not proofread fam, I didn’t have the strength. This is 8900k.

Masterpost

Your bachelorette party was at a nice Air BnB up north. You wanted a simple, secluded weekend with your friends. It was just you, Rachel, and Sarah.

“Okay, so what are you most excited for, like, to be married?” Sarah asks. You were all sitting on a floor of blankets and pillows.

“To be able to call him my husband. Like he’s been my partner in life for almost three years now, but once it’s legal, no one can dispute it.”

“How soon after you get married do you think you’ll start trying for a baby?” Rachel asks. It was the question a lot of people had been asking you.

“Literally, the honeymoon.” You chuckle. “I swear he’s been counting down the days to not have to use condoms anymore.” You roll your eyes. “He acts like he still hasn’t stuck it in without one. I know it’s not as often, but still.”

“You know how guys are.” Sarah says. “They wanna feel every bit of it. You must be excited for the honeymoon though. Disney plus going to a little beach house?”

“I’m beyond ready!” You squeal. “I haven’t been to Disney World since I was like four.”

“We went on a family trip when I was in high school.” Rachel says. “It was so much fun. The food is like the best part, I swear. And the dole whips??? Holy shit.”

“I know! Harry and I have been watching a ton of videos on YouTube to prepare. We’re staying at the Port Orleans resort, we had seen that less kids stay there so it’s a little quieter. We watched a video of someone walking through the resort, it was so cool. We get to choose our fast passes soon, and all of our dinners have been reserved. It’s really cool.”

“Are you getting those bracelets?” Sarah asks.

“The arm band things? Yeah, they’re gonna come in the mail soon I think. Harry got a pink one, and mine’s blue.” You giggle.

“What do you think the beach house portion of your honeymoon is going to be like?” Rach asks.

“I have a feeling we won’t be leaving the bedroom much there. I truly think his main goal is to get me pregnant.”

“And he won’t try to do that in Disney?” Sarah asks.

“He might…think of Disney as like foreplay. It’s going to be really romantic and fun while we’re there, but he’s really going to give it to me at the beach house.”

“Do you think you guys like won’t have sex before the wedding just to build it up?”

“We may not have a choice. I was looking at my period tracker, and I’m supposed to get it like legit a week before the wedding. I know he doesn’t care, but I do. Besides, he mum and sister are going to be staying with us, so that’s a cockblock right there. We’re going to be busy running around getting last minute things together. We won’t have time for it.”

“That’s the biggest load of garbage I’ve ever heard of!” Sarah laughs. “The two of you have been like rabbits since you met. Niall and I have sex like once a week, maybe even every ten days. I feel like you and Harry fuck every night.”

“We do not! Maybe like twice a week.”

“If you’re not fucking you’re doing something else.”

“Is that a bad thing? Why do you and Niall only do it once a week?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “Just sort of how things fell into place. I’m not complaining, that’s plenty of sex for me. Although, if it were up to him we’d probably do it every night. I’m just not always in the mood, you know?”

“Me either.” Rachel says. “Like, sometimes when I go to bed, that’s all I wanna do. I’m not looking for any funny business.”

“I think that just happens when you live with someone for a while.” You say. “Before Harry and I lived together-“

“Don’t even start. You two were living together before you were even living together.” Sarah giggles.

“All I was going to say was that when you don’t live with someone you probably can’t wait to jump their bones because you haven’t seen them in a while. Once you do live with someone and the option’s always there it probably gets less exciting. I love having sex with Harry, but I’m not always in the mood, and neither is he. We’re both happy to just cuddle.”

“Yeah, but you two are one of those touchy couples that likes cuddling all the time. Sometimes if I’m on the couch just chilling, like, I may not even want to be touched.” Sarah explains.

“I think we can all just agree that we are all in very different relationships and that’s okay.” Rachel says. “We’re all happy, right?” You and Sarah agree. “Alright then.” She shrugs. “Nothing more to it than that. I’m glad you ended up with a guy that likes to kiss and touch you in public, Y/N. Everyone around you can feel the love.”

“Y/N…I don’t wanna be a Debbie Downer, but remember how much trouble Kate had when she thought her and Kev were gonna get pregnant right away?” Saray says.

“I know…” You sigh. “I’ve thought about that. I mean, it could easily not happen on our honeymoon, and I think that’s okay. If anything, it’ll just be the start of things, you know? It’ll happen when it’s supposed to happen.”

//

While you were having a peaceful weekend away with your friends, Harry had taken a little road trip to Mohegan Sun to do some gambling with Niall and Louis, yes, Louis flew in for the bachelor party. Harry had other friends he knew would have fun, but he also just wanted to do something sort of small with his friends.

The three of them enjoyed the bit of gambling they got to do, and the outrageous amount of alcohol they got to consume. Harry hadn’t drank much since you started your pills those couple of years ago, so he took full advantage of not having to worry about you.

The three went to some nightclub in the area to cut loose a bit. Harry usually didn’t like dancing like this if you weren’t there, but he was so beyond gone he didn’t really care. He was having a good time with his friends.

A group of girls had noticed them and kept coming closer and closer until they finally bumped into them.

“Do you guys wanna dance?” One of them says.

“Married.” Niall points to Louis. “Engaged.” He points to Harry. “In a fully committed relationship.” He points to himself.

“Sorry ladies, this is actually his bachelor party.” Louis tells the girls who were all frowning.

“S’not like he’s wearing a ring yet, right?” One of the girls says a little too cheekily for Harry’s liking.

“Right.” He scoffs. “As if I’d cheat on my fiancé with any of you.” He looks them all up and down. “Find some other idiots to pester, we’re here to have fun.”

He walks away from the group and goes towards the bar to grab some water. Louis and Niall follow him.

“Yeh could’ve sad that a bit nicer mate, they’re probably just drunk.” Louis says to him.

“I don’t care. I’m twenty-eight years old, do these girls think it would be so fucking easy to get into my pants?” He rolls his eyes. “M’too old for that shit.”

“What did you think was gonna happen when you wanted to come to a club?” Niall laughs. “We’re pretty good lookin’, in case yeh forgot.” He jokes.

“M’just sayin’, it’s annoying.” He sighs. “Do you think they’re all havin’ fun on their trip? Maybe I should call her, make sure they’re alright all alone.” Harry takes his phone out of his pocket, but Louis snatches it.

“She wouldn’t even be able to hear you in here, I’m sure they’re fine.”

“But I miss her.” He pouts. “Give me my phone!”

“You’re supposed to miss her.” Louis laughs. “You’ll see her tomorrow night.”

“Don’t care, gimme my phone.” He snatches it back and walks towards the men’s room where he knew it would be quiet. The boys follow him. He taps his phone to FaceTime you.

//

“What the…Harry’s FaceTiming me.” You show the girls.

“Answer it! It’s super late, I bet he’s drunk.” Rachel giggles.

You shrug and answer.

“Hello?”

“Hey! There’s my pretty girl.” He beams. There’s a slight slur to his words. You can faintly see Niall and Louis in the background.

“Are you in a bathroom?”

“Mhm.”

“Why?”

“So it wouldn’t be too loud to talk to yeh.”

“Where are you?”

“At some club near the casino. Some girls tried to pick us up, but don’t worry baby, we got rid of ‘em. I wouldn’t let anything happen.” You look at your friends who were trying really hard not to laugh.

“Just play along.” Sarah whispers. You look back at Harry.

“Oh good, I didn’t think you would, Harry.”

“I mean really, the nerve.” He scoffs. “You know what she said to me?”

“What did she say?”

“She said it’s not like I’ve got a ring on yet. Can you believe tha’?”

“Harry, I think your friends are waiting for you.” He looks behind himself and sees Niall and Louis about ready to drag him out of the bathroom.

“But I miss you…”

“I miss you too, but you’ll see me tomorrow night. It’s only been a couple of days.”

“I know, but I haven’t been able to sleep.”

“That’s fuckin’ lie and you know it!” Louis says. “If you don’t hang up that phone, I’m gonna tell your little fiancé about whose bed you’ve been sleepin’ in.”

The girls start laughing, and so do you.

“Seems like you already did.” Harry punches Louis in the arm.

“He’s right Harry, go enjoy the rest of your night.”

“I’d rather enjoy your tight cu-“

“Harry!” You blush. “Please…Niall, take his phone from him!”

“Can do!”

You hear rumbling and then the screen goes dark.

“Jesus, I’m so sorry.” You pinch your nose.

“No, it was cute.” Rachel assures you. “It’s sweet he misses you.”

“He’s certainly your first baby, that’s no mistake of that.” Sarah laughs.

“Between him and Buster, I’m gonna be a pro by the time I have an actual baby.”

//

Having Anne and Gemma in your home was less stressful than you thought it would be. They could watch Buster if you needed to run out and take care of something quickly. The wedding was only a few days away now, and you’d be going down early for the rehearsal dinner.

“So what’s the plan exactly, are you and Harry having separate rooms the night before the wedding, or did you say nuts to that?” Gemma asks you one morning.

“We have separate rooms, and then we have the honeymoon suite the night of. It’s really nice. We got to tour it when we first went to the inn. I have a room with the girls, and I’m pretty sure Harry is staying with Niall.”

“That’s sweet of you all to do that. He’s very excited.” She blinks away a few tears. “I can’t believe my little brother is going to be someone’s husband, it’s wild to think about. You sure you’re okay with havin’ another sister?”

“Aw, Gem.” You give her a little hug. “Lily, my brother’s wife, is the best sister in law, and I get along way better with her than I do my actual sisters. I’m very much looking forward to having another sister in law.”

“Good, it’ll be nice for me to have one too. I cannot wait to see your reaction to all of our suits when you walk down the aisle.”

“You’re wearing one too?”

“Mhm, I wanted to look the part. I’m pretty sure all the girls in Harry’s party opted for the suits, they were too pretty. Not that your bridesmaids dresses aren’t pretty. It was nice to have the option.”

“Suits are way more comfortable anyways.” You shrug. “I’m not offended in the slightest.”

Later that afternoon you make sure everything’s all packed up so you can head down to the inn. Harry drives your car with you, and gives the keys to his own car to Anne and Gemma. He wanted to just have time in the car with you and Buster before you’d be separated for the night.

“Tomorrow at 3PM, can you believe it?” He says to you as he grips your hand a little tighter.

“Was it worth the wait, baby?”

“Do you mean the nearly two years of planning the damn thing, or my entire life? Because either way, yeah, it was worth it.” He gives your knuckles a kiss. “What about you?”

“Same goes for me, either way, worth it.”

“You’re like calmest bride I’ve ever seen.”

“Harry, we’ve had so much of this planned, everything’s in place. Now all we have to do is get through this rehearsal, and the dinner. Tomorrow is going to be so much fun. I’m getting mani/pedi’s at the spa with all the girls, then we’re going to have our makeup and hair done. It’s all going to be great.” You look down at his nails peach colored nails. “I see you got yours done this morning.”

“Mhm, and don’t let the color fool you, it may not even match the suit.”

“I didn’t think it would.” You laugh. “It looks nice though. I love when you do the peach color.”

“I know you do.” He grins. “So, how do you think tonight’s gonna go?”

“I feel like I’m already going to tear up watching your mom walk you up to the gazeebo.”

“You better not cry already because then I’ll start crying, and you know how that goes.” You both laugh. “You know you still haven’t told me if you plan to take my name or not. The DJ’s going to announce us Mr. and Mrs. Styles…”

“I don’t know what I wanna do yet. I have time to decide, it’s just a matter of going to town hall to legally change my name. The process is just annoying. I’ll need a new passport, social security card, and then I’ll have to fight with IT at work to get my email, changed… guess in the grand scheme it’s not a big deal.” You sigh. “I also feel like I’m giving up part of my identity…I suppose I could hyphenate, but I’d still have to change everything.” You look at him for a moment. “Would it bother you a lot if I legally didn’t change it? I don’t mind people referring to me as Mrs. Styles, I won’t correct them…”

“I get where you’re comin’ from. I suppose if the shoe was on the other foot I wouldn’t wanna go through all the trouble either.”

“It’s not really anything personal either, I love your name.”

“I understand the identity thing too. It’s a lot to ask of someone. A lot of people don’t change their name nowadays. I guess I was just wondering out of curiosity.”

“Who knows, I may wake up one day be like yeah I wanna change my name.” You shrug. “Our kids will have your name.” You smile.

“God, I can’t wait to start makin’ babies with you.” His hand leans yours and slides over your stomach. “Just wait until I get in there, you’re not gonna know what hit you.”

“Harry, Jesus.” You pinch the bridge of your nose.

“I think I’m just excited we won’t be using condoms for a while.” He chuckles and moves his hand to your thigh. “You’re sure you feel ready for all that?”

“Yeah, definitely. Three years ago I wasn’t ready, but I’m almost twenty-seven, I’m ready. I want everything with you, babe.”

//

Harry was reluctant to leave you at your room with the girls when you got to the inn, but Louis and Niall were able to pry him away. Around 5PM everyone involved in the rehearsal showed up outside. It was odd practicing the very thing you’d be doing for real the next day. Your cantor stood next to Niall and went over what blessings he’d be reciting, and you tell him you’ll be the one stepping on the glass.

Once it’s all done, you all go inside to the restaurant of the inn to eat a nice dinner. Harry’s friends and yours were getting to know each other, which was really nice to see. Your parents were sitting at different tables so things seemed stable at the moment.

Both of your parents make a small toast, as does Anne. Once the dinner is over you realize you and Harry won’t be seeing each other again until tomorrow afternoon. He pulls you aside briefly while people are still mingling.

“Hey.” He says, cupping your cheeks.

“Hi.” You wrap your arms around his waist.

“I feel like a baby for sayin’ this, but I’m gonna miss you tonight.”

“Don’t feel that way, I’m gonna miss you too. Think of how nice it’ll be when we finally see each other tomorrow, though.”

“I know, I can’t wait to see you walk down the aisle in your pretty dress.” He presses his forehead to yours. “I think I’m gonna grab some drinks with the guys tonight. Is that alright?”

“Of course! You didn’t get to do the bachelor party stuff with all of them, please, go. Just invite my brother, dad, and brother in law, please.”

“I can do tha’.”

“And don’t FaceTime me when you get too drunk. I don’t need my family hearing you become vulgar with me.” You giggle.

“Oi, I resent that.”

“Y/N!” Sarah calls for you. “It’s time, girly. Say goodnight.” She smiles. You turn to look at Harry again and give him a good kiss.

“Time for what?”

“Oh, I know you didn’t think you’d be the only one having fun tonight. We’re having a party in our room for all the girls. Have fun with the guys.” You kiss him again before walking away.

A few hours later, and Harry was ready to call you, or text you, or something. He wasn’t even that drunk, he just hated the thought of sleeping by himself. Even though he was sharing a room with Niall, he’d still be left to snuggle alone. Buster was staying in your room with you. Louis had made sure to take Harry’s phone the second they got to the bar because he knew he wouldn’t be able to stay away from you.

“I just wanna text her.”

“Why?” Louis crosses his arms.

“I wanna see if it’s okay to come give her a goodnight kiss when we get back.”

“What if she’s asleep?”

“She’s havin’ a party of her own.” Harry gets frustrated and tries to find someone that’ll help.

He knew Niall wouldn’t be helpful in the same way Louis wasn’t. He finds Seth with Isaac.

“Bingo.” He says to himself and darts over to them. “Seth, can I borrow your phone. Lou won’t give me mine, and it’s an emergency.”

“Um.”

“Don’t listen to him!” Niall says. “He’s trying to call Y/N.”

“Harry, you can’t go one night without talking to her?” Isaac asks, half laughing.

“I think it’s sweet.” Seth says, pulling out his phone. “I’ll call her.” He grins. He finds your contact and taps to call you.

“Give me the phone.”

“Nope, I’ll talk to her…hey Y/N!”

“Hi! Is everything, shhh everyone I’m on the phone, sorry.” You giggle. “Is everything okay?”

“Oh sure, everything’s fine. Harry just had a question.”

“Okay…what is it?” Seth presses the phone to his chest.

“What’s your question?”

“Ask her if I can come give her a goodnight kiss later.” Seth makes a face like he’s about to cry because of how sweet Harry was.

“He wants to know if he can give you a goodnight kiss when we get back.” Seth hears you chatting with everyone in the room.

“I’ll allow it. Just have someone text me when you guys are on your way.”

“Can do.” He hangs up the phone. “You’ve been granted your kiss.”

“I don’t understand why I couldn’t have just asked her.” He rolls his eyes.

“Because yeh would’ve spent the rest of the night babblin’ on.” Niall says. “Now, can we go back to drinkin’?”

Around 11:30PM, everyone decided it would be best not to stay out late, so the guys head back to the inn. It was just you, Rachel, and Sarah in your room now. There was a knock on the door and you all giggle. You tie up your robe, and look through the peep hole to see Harry, Niall, and Louis in the hall. You open the door and slip out.

“If you two wanna wait inside while we say goodnight…” You gesture to the door, Niall and Louis moving to go inside. “You know you can just snuggle with Louis tonight if you miss me.” You laugh.

“No, he’s got a room with his own wife and child, remember?” He scoffs.

“So snuggle with Niall.”

“But I wanna snuggle with you, you’re so cute.” He grabs your hands and intertwines your fingers.

“You can snuggle me all you want tomorrow night.” You whisper.

“I’ll be doin’ a lot more than that.” He grins.

“You came here for a kiss, so let’s kiss.”

He leans down, and you can’t but smile as his nose brushes yours. His lips meet yours and you taste the beer he was surely drinking. His tongue peeks out to swipe across your bottom lip. You open up for him slightly. As he licks into you he pushes you up against the wall next to the door.

“Oop, we better get out there before he carries her off to our room.” Niall kisses Sarah quick before Louis opens the door. The second his does you push Harry off of you. “Alright, enough of that. You got your kiss.”

“You two are kill joys. Why’s it so wrong to be in love?”

“It’s not, mate.” Louis chuckles. “But it’s time to go to sleep. You two have the rest of your lives to love on each other.”

“Night, baby.” Harry pouts.

“Goodnight, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

You wave them off and go back into the room.

“Nice kiss?” Rachel asks.

“A very nice kiss.” You smile and get back on the bed with Buster. “I’m gonna be his wife tomorrow, I can’t believe I got this lucky.” You all giggle and squeal.

//

Somehow you and Harry were both able to get a goodnight’s sleep. You eat a quick breakfast and head down to the spa to meet everyone to get your nails done. Eleanor has a funny look on her face when she comes over to you.

“Everything okay?”

“Oh sure.” She chuckles. She adjusts Eliza May on her hip. “My hubby just got a booty call around 2AM last night.”

“You’re kidding!” You gasp.

“Seems as though his ass was the next best option to yours.” She sits down in the pedicure chair next to yours and cradles her little girl. “Lou’s thirty years old, I swear to god they act like teenagers around each other all the time.”

“It’s sweet though.”

“It is. I suppose it’s nice to see them breaking down toxic masculinity from the inside out.” She laughs.

“Harry’s a very cuddly sleeper, I should have let Buster go with him last night, but we were afraid he’d cry for me.”

“Like father like son.” She jokes. “Where’s the little guy now?”

“My brother picked him up the morning, he’s to stay with them for now.”

“Miss, what color for your toes?”

“Peach, pastel peach, please.”

Once your nails are done you all make your way over to the bridal suite. You were getting anxious. You wished you could just call Harry, even to hear his voice.

“I just need to pee before we get into the hair and makeup.” You say and go into the bathroom. You lock the door and turn the fan on. You call him. He answers on the second ring.

“Hello?”

“Hi, honey.”

“Y’alright?”

“Mhm, just wanted to hear your voice.”

“You’re cute.”

“Can’t wait to see you in a little while.”

“Me too, I miss you. Missed yeh last night.”

“I heard you found a replacement.”

“I couldn’t help it. It was either that or break into your room.”

“You definitely did the right thing.” You giggle. “How’s everything on your end?”

“Pretty chill so far. My sister’s gettin’ her hair together, so is my mum. Think your dad’s more nervous than I am.” He chuckles. “Must be weird givin’ his youngest away.”

“But at least he knows I’ll be in good hands.”

“Oh, at the least.” You both laugh. “Uh, actually, she called me, so fuck off. Sorry, Mitch is givin’ me a tough time. Did you know what I’m clingy?”

“You?!” You fake gasp. “This is the first I’m hearing of it.” You both laugh. “I better go, they probably think I have like diarrhea or something.”

“Thanks, babe.”

“Sorry.” You laugh. “But seriously, I better go. I love you, I’ll see you soon.”

“I love you too.”

You hang up and go back out to everyone. You sit down in the chair so your mom can start doing your hair.

“Alright, so we’re pulling some of it up, and leaving the rest down, and you want to have bouncy kind of waves on the bottom?”

“Mhm. And remember to leave some pieces out on the top and make them look wavy, like how we practiced.”

“You got it.”

Once your hair was done, Rachel started doing your makeup. You made sure just to wear a zip up sweatshirt so you wouldn’t have to worry about lifting anything over your head when it came time to put your dress on.

You had picked out this beautiful grey for the bridesmaids dresses, and you told the girls as long as it was that color they could pick out whatever dress was most comfortable for them.

“You ready to put your dress on?” Erica asks.

“Yeah, um, Rachel and Sarah were going to help me get into it I think.” You didn’t want to risk your family seeing your nipple piercings.

Nannie comes over with the dress bag, and she unzips it to show you something.

“I had a slight alteration made, I hope you don’t mind.” Inside the dress, where your right breast would sit, was a blue t-shirt material sewed into the shape of a heart. “It was one of Papa’s shirts. I did the same thing for Erica. Now a piece of him will be with you all day.”

“Oh, Nannie.” You hug her and try to cry since your makeup was just done. “Thank you.”

Rachel and Sarah go into the bathroom with you to get you into your dress.

“You both look so pretty.” You say to them. “Great choices.”

“Your sisters looks nice too, and I love the one Eleanor picked out for herself.” Sarah says.

“It’s nice that everyone listened to me for a change.” You laugh.

“Alright, step into it.” Rachel says.

You step into the dress and put your arms through holes. The girls help button up the back. Rachel grabs your veil and puts it on you. They both step back to look at you.

“Holy shit.” Rachel says. “You’re a bride.”

“You look so beautiful, Harry’s going to lose his mind.”

“Really?” You turn around to look at yourself in the mirror. “Oh my god.” You whisper. “This really was the perfect dress, huh?” You giggle with them and leave the bathroom.

Everyone tells you how beautiful you look. Next up was for you to take all of the bridal photos. You wanted to get a good chunk of this done before the weddings so that the pictures afterwards wouldn’t take too long. Harry and the groomsmen should have already taken their pictures together, and he should have pictures with his mum and sister.

It was a beautiful day out, thank God. Mariah gasped when she saw all of you walk out. Rachel blew her a little kiss. You had a small bouquet of sunflowers and baby’s breath in your hands. She snapped a ton of pictures of you, the wedding party, you with your sisters, you with your mom, and you with Nannie, basically every combination of photo. It took over an hour.

“Okay, now we just need to go back in and wait.” You tell them. You take a deep breath as you walk back to the bridal suite. You just wanted to see Harry.

Guests were starting to arrive. Family, friends, you name it. Harry had invited a ton of his past clients that he was close with. Some of the ladies from work came as well. You were all waiting in a hall way. Niall was first to go out, and he wanted to see you beforehand.

“Hey.” You beam at him.

“Oh my god, you look stunning.”

“So do you.” You look his suit up and down. It was a solid baby blue. He had a floral pocket square. “It’s simple, I like it.”

“Just you wait until you see everyone else’s. We did something really cool.” He winks at you and makes his way down the aisle to the gazeebo.

He stands with your cantor just as they did during the rehearsal. Music starts to play. You smile at your brother who is about to walk your Nannie and mother down the aisle. You see all of the groomsmen walking towards you, lead my Louis, to line up with your bridesmaids. They each had a solid colored suit on, but each color was different. You were thoroughly confused, but you loved the concept. You wondered if each color was inside the suit Harry would be wearing.

“You all look wonderful.” You whisper as they line up. You look up at your dad and smile. “Almost our turn.”

Louis and Rachel walk out first, hooking their arms together. Then was Gemma and Sarah, Isaac and Eleanor, Mitch and Erica, and Sarah and Bridget. It all worked out perfectly. As they were making their way down, you see Lily walking up with Michael.

“He’s very excited.” She had Buster’s leash in her other hand. “I’m honored that I get to walk the dog.” She giggles.

“Thanks for doing it. Michael, you’re going to be the best flower boy ever.”

While all of this is happening, Anne walks up to the gazeebo with Harry. They hug and kiss before she goes to sit down. His suit was gorgeous. It was an interesting floral pattern, and it did have all of the colors each groomsmen was wearing. Lily walks Buster down the aisle as Michael walks down putting out flower petals. It was really very cute. Harry bends down and takes the rings from Buster’s collar, and hands them to Niall. He takes a deep breath. He knew Mariah and all of her helpers were getting great pictures, and every moment the two of you wanted would be captured. He looks over to where you’d be coming out next.

“Ready, honey?” Your dad says to you as he hooks his arm around yours.

“Mhm.” You smile.

The music changes, and everyone stands up to watch for you. Your eyes widen the second they fall on Harry. He looked incredible, beyond incredible. You were happy he kept his suit a secret. It was so very him. He immediately started crying when he saw you. He thought you were the most beautiful, breathtaking thing in the world. You both smile and laugh as your dad continues to walk you down the aisle. Harry steps forward to lift your veil, and you both beam at each other. He looks at your dad and then to you. You give your dad a hug before he goes to sit down, and you take Harry’s hand as you step towards the gazeebo. Niall wipes a few tears away himself before beginning.

“You both good?” He asks, making the two of you laugh. He hands Harry a tissue.

“She looks good, doesn’t she?” Harry jokes.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re both a work of art, okay? Let’s get this started.” You both laugh again. Neither of you knew what Niall was going to say, but it still had to wait. “Cantor?”

Your cantor says the few prayers you wanted him to. You and harry were facing each other, holding hands. You had told him what the prayers meant and why they were important to you. Once your cantor was done, it was Niall’s turn to speak.

“Love is a really weird thing. I honestly wasn’t sure what it was until I saw these two progress together. There are good times and bad, but the good always outweighs it. I’m not sure what it was, but I saw two people who I was very close with, living these separate lives, when I just had this feeling that they should be together. So, you two are more than welcome.” You hear people laughing. “Every relationship is different, and I think that’s the beautiful thing about love. It’s growing with some, and just becoming comfortable with how your lives are molding together. You two were pretty comfortable with that early on, how soon was it when you moved in? Four, five months?” You swat an arm at him. “None of us even thought to question you on it. There’s a gravitational pull between the two of you, there’s no denying that. Y/N, when Harry told me he was bringing you to meet his mum and sister that first Christmas you two were together, I knew he was going to marry you. I saw it all very early on. We went on a camping trip and he confessed to us that you were his soulmate.” You look at Harry. You couldn’t tell if he wanted to smack Niall or not, but he looked at you and nodded. “Basically, no one was going to get in his way on this. I had never heard my brutish friend speak so highly of a lady in his life before. And you. You had a new light in your life again. You came back into yourself. Needless to say, you make each other whole.” He clears his throat. “Now then, they happy couple would like to exchange their own vows before we get on with the rings.”

“Y/N.” Harry says after taking a deep breath. “In my wildest dreams I never thought I’d be standing here, marrying someone like you. From the very beginning I knew this was destined to be forever. There’s just no way I’d ever be able to let you go. I promise you that going forward, I’m never letting you go. I want every day with you, even if every day isn’t perfect.” His hands were shaking in yours. “I’ll be your partner no matter what. I know we can get through anything as long as we’re getting through it together. You’re my everything, always.”

“Harry.” Your voice nearly cracks and then you giggle. “When we met, I didn’t realize how much work I really needed to do on myself. You were so patient and understanding with so many things. I’ll forever be grateful for that. You allowed me to have that room to grow, and not everyone gets that kind of patience. I always want to give that to you in return. I feel like I’ve been able to become who I’m supposed to be because of you. I promise to always be your partner no matter what. Through the good and bad, through thick and thin, you’re my everything, always.”  

“Alright, I’ve got these rings here.” Niall hands you each one. You slide them on each other’s fingers. “M’not even gonna ask if there’s anyone here that doesn’t think these two should be wed because you’re crazy if yeh don’t.” You both laugh. “By the power vested in me, and the state of Massachusetts, I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride!”

You step on the glass under the small cloth just as Harry grips your waist to pull you in for a kiss. It felt so good to have his lips on yours again, even if it was brief. Everyone was cheering for you. You walk back down the aisle together, and the wedding party follows. Harry gets his lips on yours again the second you’re away from the crowd. You were down at the private area where more photos could be taken.

“You’re my wife!”

“You’re my husband!”

“Technically you both got married when you signed the marriage license last night.” Niall says.

“Shut up.” You hug him. “What you said was so beautiful, thank you.”

Mariah takes every picture possible. A ton of you and Harry, more of the wedding party, family photos, literally, every picture possible. Once all of that is done you and Harry go inside to wait for the receiving line to begin. You both knew you’d be jumping around to different tables, but you also wanted to enjoy your reception. The receiving line was an easy way to make sure you actually say everyone. It takes a little while to get through everyone, but you were happy you did it.

The DJ starts announcing the wedding party. You hold Harry’s hand when it’s your turn.

“And now, for the first time ever, Mr. and Mrs. Styles!”

You both come in and everyone cheers for you. Your song starts to play, You Make Me So Very Happy, and you dance with Harry. You were so impressed with him. The two of you had gone to get dance lessons together to make sure everything looked nice. He was the one that suggested it. He twirls you around a few times, and the two of you just have fun during your dance. Next up was Harry’s dance with Anne. You beamed as you watched them together. Her eyes were glossy, and she was radiating pride. You danced with your dad next. It was a really nice moment for the two of you.

Once all of that was out of the way, you and Harry were able to sit at your lone table to enjoy some salad for your first course. You had decided to have a plated meal instead of the buffet. It cost a little extra, but you thought it was worth it, and Harry wasn’t going to fight you on it. His business was booming and you had gotten another small pay bump, so you put it to good use. You guzzle down some water, you were so thirsty. Dancing was sweaty work. You also knew this would be the time where some of the speeches would start. Glasses started clinking as Louis stood up to give his speech.

“Right, so, Niall got to do all the sappy stuff before, thanks for gettin’ that out of the way, mate.” Harry sits back in his chair and crosses his arms. His grin forming. Louis loved when he had a microphone to speak into. Harry had given a really good speech at Louis’ wedding, so he had been waiting for this moment. “Harry’s been my mate and brother for what? Like, ten years? Has it been that long? We’re gettin’ old, lad.” Everyone in the room laughs. “Now, I’ve seen Harry through some ups and some downs. I’ve seen him at his worst and I’ve seen him at his best. I’ve seen him take his shirt off his back for someone, and I’ve also seen him absolutely pissed with his head in the toilet. He was there for me when both of my kids were born, hell, he held Eleanor’s other hand when Eliza May was born. I had to grow up pretty fast, and as much I loved Harry, I was sort of wonderin’ when he was gonna grow up, find a nice girl of his own. I met the lovely Y/N at a Halloween party. These two came in dressed like Charlie Brown and Snoopy. Not only was this girl extremely polite, but she could throw a drink back.” Everyone laughs as your face flushes. “Needless to say, I could tell right off the bat that Harry was smitten. I was shocked when he told me he had a girlfriend, and I was even more shocked a month or so later when he told me he was in love. He’d send me pictures of the two of you all the time and tell me about these little things that you’d do. He really did think you were cute, I have the receipts to prove it. When you’re close with someone, all you want is for them to be truly happy. You make Harry happy, and that’s all I could ask. I wish the two of you a wonderful, long life together.” He raises his glass as does everyone else. Harry gives your hand a squeeze.

“That was pretty good.” He says to you.

“Mhm.” You smile. Rachel clinks her glass next and stands up.

“Sarah and I wrote this together, just so everyone knows.” The room laughs. “Y/N, we were eighteen when we met. Yikes, we’re getting old too. Even though we were friends, I didn’t really get to know you until we spent that semester in California together. That was when I realized how special you were. Sorry it took me a year and half.” You both smile at each other. “Like any other girl in college, Y/N went through some wild phases, but she always kept her priorities straight. Sometimes it was hard to related to her since Sarah and I were both becoming teachers and she was going into the world of business and marketing. If there was something she wanted, she got it. There were a few weeks Sarah and I hadn’t seen Y/N so we called her up and told her it was time to have a girl’s night, so we did. That was when we found out she was sort of seeing someone. This guy, Harry.” You can’t help but giggle. “So, this guy Harry FaceTimes her, not even calls or texts, he makes the boldest move of FaceTiming her while we’re out, and she convinces him and his friend Niall to come out and join us. We weren’t able to get to know Harry that well right away, but we could tell something special was there. It took me some time to warm up to Harry. Believe it or not, it’s not always love at first sight with him. We had a really nice heart to heart. I’ll never forget that. Our friend group merged into one, and I truly feel like I could lean on Harry for anything. You’re one of my best friends now too. There’s no one else I’d want to see Y/N with.” She raises her glass and everyone follows.

“I’d like to just say something.” Harry says. “Thank you all so much for coming and supporting us. I love this woman with my whole heart and it was great to be able to stand up and say all of that in front of you all today. Dinner’s about to be served, so we hope you all have fun celebrating with us tonight.”

Everyone clinks their glasses, which is the signal that they want you two to kiss, and you do so. Dinner was delicious, just like how you knew it would be. People were going back and forth to bar and mingling.

“Are you done, babe?” Harry asks.

“Mhm, yeah.”

“Now might be a good time to make some of the rounds before we do the cake and all that. I know once you hear a song you like you’ll be on the dancefloor all night.”

“You’re right.”

You both start making your way around the different tables to say hi to folks a little longer. One of the serves comes out with your cake. You two delicately serve it to each other. Now was not the time to make a mess. You kiss each other and you both smile at the lemony taste. Everyone loved the assorted cupcakes as well.

The music started to pick up and more people started gathering on the dancefloor. You got right out there with your friends and family. You and Harry had worked closely with the DJ to craft the perfect playlist. You take turns dancing with Louis and Niall, while Harry dances with Mariah, then Sarah, then Rachel. He dances with his other friend Sarah and Gemma, and even makes the rounds to both of your sisters. You have a nice dance with your brother as well. Eventually you two come back to each other for a much needed slow song. You had just finished the Cha Cha Slide and you were pooped.

“Having fun?” He smirks.

“Tons, you?”

“Loads.” He leans in to kiss you quick. “You really do make a beautiful bride. I hope you know this won’t be the only time you’ll be wearin’ this dress. I’ll probably ask you to wear it a ton.” He pulls you a little closer.

“Same could be said for this suit. It’s gorgeous, and I love how you had everyone wear a different color that falls in it.”

“Thanks, I thought it would be different and fun. Noticed you got your nails painted the same color as mine.”

“I couldn’t help it, I wanted to match. It was like you were there to hold my hand while you physically couldn’t be with me, you know?”

“God.” He presses his forehead to yours. “When can we go to our room?”

“Harry.” You swat an arm at his shoulder. “We have like three more hours, easily, until we can do that.”

He groans just as a faster song starts to play. You gasp and run over to your friends. It was Yeah by Usher, you were long gone. It was a really fun night. People slowly started to filter out. The girls said they would bring all the cards and gifts people brought up to the room you slept in last night. Your friends had helped out to get everything into the honeymoon suite that you’d need. Buster would be sleeping with Niall and Sarah tonight. You were so grateful.

“It was perfect.” Harry says as he walks hand in hand with you to the suite.

“Mhm.” You cling to his arm.

“Oh wait.” He hoists you up so he’s carrying you bridal style. “Okay, stick the key in.” You giggle and does as he says. He gets the door open and carries you in. “Okay, now, I think this means we’re officially married.” He jokes.

“I don’t think that happens until we consummate.” You yawn as he sets you down on the bed.

“You tired?”

“Yeah, you?”

“Mhm.”

“I think after some sleep it’ll be better.”

“Agreed. Let me help you with all those buttons and what not.”

You stand up as he unbuttons the back of your dress. You catch the top so it doesn’t fall to the floor. You gracefully step out of it and hang it back up.

“These are cute.” He says, pinching your bum which was covered with white lace.

“Thanks.” You giggle, and go into the bathroom to take all of your makeup off.

Harry gets out of his suit and uses the toilet after you. You both crawl into the comfy bed and settle in together. You rest your head on his chest, and the both of you just feel at peace.

“Missed yeh so much last night, baby.” He squeezes you.

“I missed you too. M’glad we’re together now.”

“Me too.” He kisses the top of your head and yawns.

It didn’t take long for the two of you to drift off. However, you woke up around 4AM feeling very well rested. You had both gone to bed completely naked. You roll over to see Harry on his back, fast asleep. His lips parted and light snores coming out. You shift under the blankets and reach for his dick. This was something he had given permission for you to do. You could wake him up like this any time you wanted. You stroke him and you feel him start to get hard in your hand. His eyes flutter open and he looks over at you.

“So early.” He says with that thick morning voice you loved so much.

“I know, I just really wanna fuck my husband, would that be alright?” You tug at him a little harder.

“Fuck.” He groans. “Yes.”

He reaches for your hips and he pulls you on top of him. You grind down on him and his head rolls back.

“Jesus, did you wake up wet like this?”

“I must’ve been thinking about this in my sleep.” You kiss on his neck gently. The two of you promised not to leave marks until you were on your honeymoon.

“I can’t wait to get my hand around your throat in just a couple of days. And then I’m suck little marks all over your body.”

“Harry, please.” You groan as you grind against him again.

“Do we need to use a condom?”

“I’d like to until we’re in Florida, is that okay?”

“Course. They’re in my bag.” He points to it and you get off him to go grab one. You rip the blankets away and tear the foil open. You roll it onto him for him. “Love it when you do that. Showin’ me who’s boss a little bit?” He smirks.

“As your wife I just know there are things I need to do to please my man, but sure.” You shrug. “I’ll be the boss.” You grin and straddle him.

You line his tip up with your center, and you slowly sink down on him. You both moan from the contact. It had been almost two weeks since you two had been intimate with everything going on and you had just gotten over your period two days ago. You both needed this.

“How are you still so tight after all this time?” He grunts as his fingers press bruises into your hips.

Instead of giving him a verbal answer, you lean down and suck his bottom lip into your mouth. You grind up and down on him. He thrusts up into you, getting in nice and deep.

“Fuck, Harry.” You groan against his neck.

His hands slide around to your ass to move you faster on him. Your chest was rubbing against his, and you snake a hand between the two of you to rub your clit.

“Y/N.” He moans, his head rolling back into the pillow.

“I’m so fucking close, oh my god.”

You press your forehead further into his shoulder as he thrusts faster into you. You bite down on his collar bone, and you end up coming at the same time. You rest on him while you both catch your breaths. He cups your cheeks to pull your face back to his. He kisses you, pressing his lips hard to yours.

“Okay, now we’re really married.” You both giggle as you pull off him.

“I’ll let you take care of that.”

“Oh, so you can roll it on, but you can’t take it off?” He smirks as he sits up.

“Nope, that’s your mess, my doll.”

You both clean yourselves up and get back into bed. You had a couple more hours before you needed to be up, after all. Harry spoons you, and you both drift back off.

//

Later that morning everyone cheers when you and Harry come down for brunch. You can’t help but giggle, and Buster comes running towards the two of you.

“I feel so bad, he’s not gonna see us for like…two weeks.” You pout as you pet him.

“He’ll be in good hands.” You both sit down with your friends.

“Yeah, he’ll be with us for a few days, and then with Rachel and Mariah, and then with Seth and Isaac.” Niall says. “Lots of family time.”

“When do you two leave for Florida?” Eleanor asks.

“Tomorrow morning.” You smile. “Our flight’s at like eight. You can check in on your phone so you can get your room a little ahead of time. And we’re doing that thing where we’re letting them take our bags so they’ll be in the room for us by the end of the day. And we’re taking the bus to the resort. They have it down to a science.”

“I feel like that would be a really fun friend group trip some time.” Sarah says.

“Please, these two are gonna start poppin’ kids out the second they can, it’ll be years until we can do that.” Niall jokes.

“Louis and El have kids, we’ll probably be next, maybe that just means you all need to catch up.” You smirk.

“I have plenty of kids at school.” Sarah puts her hands up. “But maybe Rachel could be next.” She giggles.

“Plenty of kids in homes that need adoption.” Rachel says as she smiles at Mariah.

“So with you two on vacation does that mean you won’t be pestering me for photos right away?” Mariah laughs.

“You better send us some or you’re fired.” Harry jokes and the whole table laughs.

You look up at him and smile; you never felt luckier.

For reference: Here is what I imagine Y/N’s dress looking like: 

And here’s photographer!Harry’s suit:

[hankwritten]

Crinoline

Demoman/Soldier, 3k

Request for hyper messed up, Masquerades

“You’ve already managed to get cocktail sauce on your finery. Fantastic.” Spy pressed two fingers against the bridge of his nose, nails making little indents the sequined cloth that had replaced his usual mask. He’d also changed into a different name for the evening, but Jane had aggressively forgotten it; he would always be Spy, and that was that.

“No one’s looking at our frilly blouses, crouton,” Jane said. “It is amazing they aren’t blinded entirely with how much glitter we’re wearing, let alone see past all this glitz-crap to notice a little shrimp juice.”

“You’d be surprised how keenly the eyes in this room are watching.”

This, Jane speculated, was not said to him in particular, but rather Spy talking to himself as his gaze swept over the party. He did that sometimes. Just babbled about like Jane was another piece of fancy furniture.

“Just lie low,” Spy reminded him. “Keep your ears open, see if you can learn something that might be to our advantage. You remember what we’re going here, yes?”

“We are getting the war back on!” Jane brightened instantly.

“No,” Spy hissed, covering Jane’s mouth with a gloved palm, glancing around in case anyone had heard them. “Not tonight, at the very least. We are merely looking for an opportunity that, should the King wish it, we could use to spark something out of the stagnant peace Cerulea has been forced into.”

That all sounded like getting the war back on to Jane. “Cssfr,” he corrected around Spy’s hand. Spy rolled his eyes, and withdrew it. “Ceasefire,” Jane repeated. “Not peace.”

“Yes, yes, whatever satisfies your constant and vocal bloodlust,” Spy waved away. “That doesn’t change our job. Rub some elbows. Blend in.”

“These dinky little masks really going to keep anyone from recognizing us?” Jane self-consciously pushed at his half mask as he said it. “Maybe they’re inviting Ceruleans into their shindig, but that doesn’t make us in particular welcome.”

“You wear a helm on the battlefield. Trust me, as long as you don’t start shouting ‘die Scarlet scum’ in that baritone you oh so love to show off, no one’s going to match a voice to a name. We are anonymous, General. Just as everyone else.”

Jane growled. He didn’t belong here among fancy wines and stinky cheeses—he should be back out on that battlefield, but as long as doddering nobles were clicking their heels at ceasefire, he was stuck here playing spy. The men and women around him talked of peace and stability but, he could smell the venom underneath, rancor in every vein as they patted themselves on the back for plugging a dam with a thumb. Too much bad blood had been spilt, and no grand masquerade would un-spill it.

They were all pampered up with elegant gowns and find doublets that could buy a whole company’s supply of swords, wearing masks that shed their national identities in the spirit of camaraderie. Or hid them, in Jane’s case. His mask was an even balance of red, white, and blue, no clue as to the terror of the man underneath, who’d last summer stood across enemy lines from some of the very people in this room.

“I see you’re giving this your upmost concentration,” Spy deadpanned as Jane scanned the ballroom. “Let us split up then. I have no doubt that will make at least one of us more efficient.”

Jane let him go with a shrug.

At least the food was good. He helped himself to more shrimp, and walked through the chatting masks as their voices turned to noise around them. In the center people danced, swaying in time to the music, an overwhelming concerto that filled the vaulted ceilings despite their size. Despite his contempt…maybe it was a little beautiful. It chased and swelled-

And at its crescendo, Jane caught sight of him.

A man, dressed in black and gold, a long sash tied over one shoulder and stretching down to cover his arm, stood still as the crowd undulated around him—an anchor among swaying kelp. Instead of the standard upper mask to cover the eyes, his instead hid the entire left half of his face, not even a gap in the lacquer for an eyehole. What could be seen was impossibly handsome: dark skin, immaculately kept facial hair that revealed the strength of his jaw, a smile that quirked as he tilted back his drink. As though he knew something no one else in the world did.

Jane was so struck, he couldn’t even glance away when he turned and met his eyes. The mystery man’s grin grew even wider.

A heat in his cheeks, Jane beat a hasty retreat into the throngs, berating himself all the while. What was that about? He couldn’t be getting all flustered at random strangers he met eyes with across a crowded ballroom, not when there was a mission on.

He shook himself, and took a drink off the nearest tray. It was time to eavesdrop, then. The Scarlet King hadn’t show up yet, but Redmond was half-dead anyway, and he had plenty favored families underneath him that might have a key to the kingdom. Or a key to the kingdom’s destruction, preferably. He’d almost managed to make another circuit of the ballroom when someone crashed into his side.

“Ach, sorry there lad,” a rich voice greeted him, steadying Jane’s drink so it didn’t go flying over them both. “Seems we both came at each other a bit fast, eh?”

Jane lifted his head, and his mouth went dry. It was the same stranger from before, now inches away from him, a warm hand around Jane’s wrist.

“You.” Jane had meant it to come out as an accusation, but his tongue wouldn’t behave the way he wanted it to. “Are you following me?”

“Me? Nah,” the man said. “This was probably a coincidence. Hand of fate. Couldn’t be that I saw a good looking man and came over because I thought he might be interesting to talk to.”

“Well jokes on you, buster. I have been told many times that I am a terrible conversational partner!”

“Dunno ‘bout that,” he replied with a twinkle in his single visible eye. “We’ve only been talking for half a minute and I’m already having a much better time than I was before.”

Jane found he couldn’t look away from that smile, that he hadn’t yet pushed the friendly hand away. It took a concentrated effort to avert his gaze. “You’ve got some odd tastes then.”

“Maybe. But I would like to talk with you more…If that’s alright?”

For the first time the easy charm slipped slightly from the man’s face, and Jane couldn’t help but feel bad for being so brusque. Mission, he reminded himself, but…dammit.

“It’s alright,” Jane said, a little too eagerly. “I mean, I would like that. To talk to you more. Even if you mince your words obtuse and confusing ways!”

The stranger chuckled, patient and mild. “Glad my obtusedness isn’t off-putting.”

“Your obtusedness also isn’t a word.”

“Isn’t it? Maybe I’m just mincering it.” He grinned as Jane snorted, and offered, “you want to take a step outside? You look a little warm.”

He was, hot around the collar where this man had made him feel in minutes with just a few flirtatious words. The veranda was sweet relief then, looking over the sprawling gardens, staircases on either side that could take you down into mazelike hedges below. Several couples milled about in the cool night air, but far fewer than inside, and Jane already felt better.

“Place is like a sardine can,” Jane noted as he leaned backwards against the railing.

“Aye, seems like the whole country’s in there.”

It struck Jane that he didn’t know which country he meant, that he might’ve quite possibly been lured out here by a Scarlet. He didn’t want to believe that though; it was better to think this wasn’t his hated enemy, that as long as he didn’t know he could pretend they were both blue at heart. Or, hell, even the neighboring countries of Amberny and Chartruel had sent delegates to mooch off the finger food, why couldn’t it be one of them?

So actively was he blocking out alternatives, he realized it was his turn to speak, and the stranger had been waiting on him for a minute now. “So,” he began, haltingly, “what’s your name?”

“Oh you can’t just ask that at a masquerade, laddie,” the black-masked man teased, leaning next to Jane. “Where’s your sense of mystery?”

Jane grit his teeth, reminded unflattering of Spy. “Fine then. What do I call you?”

“Hm. How about Finn?”

“If that’s what you like, fish boy.”

Finn snorted, and tilted his head back. Jane mirrored him, glancing at the stars that spilled out above the castle’s spires, white lights sparkling next to the golden squares of arrow slits. Their arms brushed, the faintest touch as Finn leaned toward him, and Jane was sure he was going to ask for his name.

Instead he said, “care for a walk?”

Jane glanced at the hedges behind him. “In there?”

“I’ll make sure you don’t get lost.”

“How dare you! My sense of direction is impeccable! I have entered the wilderness between Cerulea and Scarlend twenty-eight times on purpose, just to find my way back out again!”

Jane wound up getting them lost for thirty minutes. It was nice though, the good sort of lost where you’re not really trying to find your way back home, just learning more out about where you are. Finn talked all the while. It was nice to hear him talk, and Jane couldn’t believe how easily he could slide from one topic to another, how suddenly he’d be telling a story about wizards and dragons then jump to economics and Jane would still be hanging on his every word. At some point during their journey, they had started holding hands. Jane wasn’t sure who initiated.

They swung their hands between them, and as Jane gazed sidelong at his newly acquired companion, he thought he’d never known a more perfect human. He didn’t even care if he turned out he was Scarlet, he just wanted to keep listening to this man and never stops.

The music grew louder as they ascended the steps back to the veranda. Finn gazed inside, the sounds of shoes tapping on polished floor almost drowning out the joyous laughter of intoxicated guests.

“…Would you do the honor of dancing with me?” he asked.

Immediately, Jane was yanked rudely to the present. He remembered he didn’t belong here, that nights of passion and softly whispered words wouldn’t take blood and corrosion from his bones.

“I don’t know how,” Jane said, a truth if it had to be.

“Can I show you?”

He didn’t belong here, but Finn looked at him so hopefully, with such adoration in his eyes…

“Alright,” Jane found himself saying.

Finn lead him back the ballroom, the masked side facing Jane so there was only the etched gold to know him by. It felt as though every veiled eye was upon them, watching Jane, knowing he would falter before even taking the first step.

Finn stopped, arms raised, a smile across his cheek as he waited for Jane to join him. He did, falteringly, and the music began.

The steps flowed like water. Finn the stream and Jane the leaf being carried along, left after right after left again. The waltz was as simple as they came, but every few seconds terror set into Jane’s legs, and they threatened to seize up on him. Every time he was sure he would fall. He never did. He was pushed, and pulled, and the rawness in his throat was hard to tell apart from exhalation.

“Why did you come talk to me?” he couldn’t help but ask in between gulps of air. He could hardly breath from the tension, but still he asked. “We barely looked at each other, why me?”

“You were…different,” Finn said as they spun dangerously close to another couple on the floor. “Everyone around here is so stuck up their own arses, and there was just something about you that…”

“Different’s not always a good thing.”

“Mmm. Sometimes you take a chance on different. Might find the most interesting person you’ve ever met.”

Jane had been ‘interesting’ before. It was always said with an air of disdain, the assumption that they meant something else entirely when they said ‘interesting’ behind their gloved hands. But not when Finn said it. From Finn it was an embrace, tight like the hand in the small of his back.

He pressed his face where Finn’s neck met his collarbone.

The dance was the longest moment of Jane’s life, yet over far too quickly. A grand bell chimed the hour.

“Ach, I’ve got to go for a bit,” Finn said, parting gently from Jane’s grasp. “Can I meet you by the fountain?”

“The fountain?”

“Where I first bumped into you.”

Jane’s eyes landed on it, giant golden serpent with water flying from its nostrils into the pool below. By the time he’d looked back, his companion had already wedged himself partway into the crowd.

It felt like he was dreamwalking. Every moment with the lights so bright and the smell of food and perfume clogging his nostrils made him think he’d been put under a spell, and that’s why he was having a hard time making it to the fountain. Maybe he should find Spy. Explain to him that there was magic at work here. Or, if that wasn’t the case, then that he’d fallen head over heels for a warlock in a black and gold mask.

“Where have you been?”

Oh, he’d found Spy after all. Or Spy had found him? How long had he been standing under the fountain, staring dreamily out at the bustling partygoers.

“Met someone,” Jane said.

“Met someone?” Spy groaned. “We are not here meet people unless we are seducing them out of information. Which, judging by that look on your face, you did not.”

“The only look on my face is the final thing my enemies see before I send them to their graves! I do not know what you’re talking about.”

“That’s nothing new,” Spy frowned. He glanced over his shoulder. “And we’re out of time. The night is almost over.”

Jane followed Spy’s gaze to the plinth standing over the ballroom, where it appeared the King was putting in an appearance after all. How he was still alive Jane would never guess, though if he had to hazard one he’d say dark magic of some sort.

But, as Redmond’s creaky voice addressed his subjects—half stiflingly welcoming his guests and half grumbling that they would have been victorious if the war had gone on—Jane found himself drawn to a very different sight on the plinth. Surrounding their ailing King, all waiting for him to crumble to dust so they could personally lay siege to his heirless throne, the noble families of Scarlend gathered. The oldest of money, whose purses kept the red armies armed and dangerous.

The dream shattered like a bucket of water dumped over his head.

“Spy,” Jane tugged his sleeve, never taking his eyes off the plinth. “Who are they?”

Spy idly cocked his head in the direction Jane was gesturing. “The DeGroots, I believe. They have the strongest claim to Redmond’s throne, but whether they’ll have the actual gumption to beat out the Bidwells remains to be seen.”

The King’s favored aristocrats. And there, standing uncomfortably among the clan all wearing similarly designed masks, was Finn.

Or Tavish as Jane gleaned while Spy continued to prattle on, running over exactly he thought each family’s chances were for snagging the crown. He barely noticed as Jane grew colder, lead in his gut weighing him to the floor.

Tavish looked immensely uncomfortable, as though he’d rather be anywhere else besides behind the King as he made his speech. He kept trying to shuffle himself behind his relations despite his height, but a stern looking woman whose mask covered her whole face kept pulling him forward again. When Redmond was finally ushered back to his pallet chair, ending rather suddenly mid-tirade and collapsing into it, Tavish was the first to make his escape.

Jane didn’t hear Spy’s snide comments to do better. He didn’t move as people began to push past him to get to the fountain, or notice that he was alone again. All he could do was stand there as his heart crumpled.

He couldn’t be here under the fountain, he realized suddenly. This was where he and F- he and Tavish had planned to meet up. If they were seen together any more than they already had been…

Even as he thought it, he caught sight of gold flitting through the crowd. He pushed, shoving against the people who’d been bumping him a moment before, desperately trying to make enough space to pass. His feet took him outside, to the gardens, and he breathed in relief as a breeze pulled at the scarf around his neck. Good. The night was almost over. A little longer and he would disappear from the party, never to be seen again.

“There you are!”

Jane froze as the sound of fine shoes walked through the garden’s tended gravel.

“Been looking all over for you,” Tavish said, and then froze when Jane whipped around. The stared at each other for several seconds, neither saying a word, Jane’s mouth a firm line. “…You saw me up there, didn’t you?”

“You’re a DeGroot,” Jane replied. He didn’t know what else to say.

“Ach…bloody hell…” Tavish rubbed the back of his neck. “Look I just…I wanted nobody to know me for once. You don’t know what it’s like being with people like them all the time and I…” He looked up. “And I really liked pretending for a night.”

“Don’t look at me like this doesn’t change everything.”

“Why does it have to?” Tavish took a step toward him. “You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met and I-”

“Because you’re Scarlet, maggot,” Jane hissed, ignoring how Tavish’s declaration still made his stomach flutter. He couldn’t let this man have control of his heart, he couldn’t.

That finally made him get it. “…And I take it you aren’t?” The silence was the only answer he needed. But when it kept going the visible half of Tavish’s face scowled, and he said, “it doesn’t matter. I don’t care. Please tell me this doesn’t have to matter.”

He reached forward to take Jane’s hands.

“You still don’t get it!” Jane said, yanking away. “It does matter, and you know why?”

Jane reached up and ripped off his mask.

Several fearful seconds ticked by, Tavish’s mind visibly ticking away at the new information before his eye widened in shock. He took a step back. “You’re one of the Generals.”

And goddammit it hurt to watch the betrayal climb across Tavish’s face. It hurt, and now Jane knew what he had put Tavish through just a moment ago.

“…We’re both dead if we keep this up,” Jane said. “My side or your side, won’t matter which one catches us.”

“I…” Tavish wouldn’t look at him. He didn’t blame him. If they’d met a month ago, they would have killed each other no questions asked.

“I’m sorry.” The genuine regret leaked out of Jane and into their secluded corner of garden. “For what its worth…you’re the most amazing person I’ve met too.”

A line of silver ran from the corner of Tavish’s eye, catching in the full moon.

Jane couldn’t help it. He reached forward and wiped it away, wishing he could do something to fix this, almost wishing he’d never said anything at all. What did it matter? What did it really matter when he risked his life every day he put on his armor and charged off into battle? It was for a far less worthwhile end than the person in front of him.

The thumb that had brushed aside the tears moved sideways. Tavish tensed, but didn’t stop him when Jane’s nail slipped underneath the mask and drew it away.

There was no eye beneath. Jane had begun to suspect that was the case, but even if he hadn’t there was nothing that could shock him about Tavish’s appearance, nothing that could turn him aside. The hand not holding the mask rose up to warmed skin, wanting to be closer, to feel more of him.

He brought their mouths together. His eyelashes flicked wet where they touched against Tavish’s cheek, and when Tavish pressed down to meet him, he let the kiss turn hungry. Their tongues flit against each other, searching, wanting desperately to know one another.

“…I still don’t care,” Tavish whispered desperately in-between kisses. “I don’t even want what they have planned for me I just…”

“I know.”

And that was the part where Jane should’ve said ‘I know, but’, where he should have reminded Tavish of their respective loyalties. Their duties. But if he was going to abandon every one of his principals, he might as well do it in style.

So when Tavish pressed their foreheads together and said, “take me with you,” Jane stalwartly replied, “okay.”

They found Spy an hour later, one of them ruddy-faced and the other very ruffled.

“Oh good,” Spy sighed. “I suppose this is the someone…who you……..met……..” His voice trailed off as he fully took in the figure at Jane’s side.

“Spy!” Jane declared. “I have found a way to start the war back on!”

“‘Lo,” Tavish waved, still a bit dazed.

“…..”

“Tavish here has agreed to elope with me!” He said, squeezing Tavish around the shoulders. “We are going to run away to Cerulea together, and he’s going to stick it his parents!”

“More like my Mum, but aye.” Tavish looked sideways at Jane with adoration.

“…Yes I suppose that would quite piss them off,” Spy said faintly.

“Great! So we can grab another horse then?”

That snapped Spy back into focus. “Three day’s ride, two if we push the horses…that should keep us ahead of their retinue…”

He began to mumble calculations to himself, and Jane was glad to have him around for once. Schemes were exactly the sort of thing Spy excelled at.

His head jerked up. “It’s a serviceable plan. Dangerous, and not what we were sent here to do, but running off with the crown prince will surely achieve our goal. Hurry! Every minute in the saddle is one less without arrows aimed at our backs.”

“He always like that?” Tavish asked as they were swept out in the flood of guests.

“You get used to it.”

“Suppose I will. I’ll get used to a lot of things.”

The two of them giggled, and Spy rolled his eyes as they hurried into the night.

[skinks]

hi!!! what are your favourite movies? like actually good ones but also any trashy comfort movies? is IT (2017) one of them?

Hello!! IT (2017) IS ABSOLUTELY ONE OF THEM oh man, thank you for this, I love talking about movies!!!! This is possibly the most difficult question you could have asked me. Apologies for how absolutely off the rails this got, I just... love movies so much lmao

I’ve said this before, but opening night of IT ch1 was the best cinema experience I’ve ever had, I’m so glad I got to see it with a fully packed audience who were all laughing and screaming together the whole way through. I’m a huge fan of... everything ch1 was doing, the 80s nostalgia, the summer-coming-of-age themes, the solid ghost train funhouse JOY of the Pennywise performance and scares, the washed-out cinematography, the tiny background details to make everything that much more eerie, the kids’ ACTING?!

Like, a lot of the time I find child actors can be really awkward and stilted to watch, but I remember leaving the cinema really impressed by JDG and Sophia Lillis in particular. I liked that they were all allowed to be little shitheads with potty mouths, it felt like a callback to 80s movies like The Lost Boys or Stand By Me. The whole thing worked to make me really care about what happened to the kids (even if I do still have issues with how they handled Mike. I understand even ch1 had limitations with juggling so many characters, but still). I saw it another 2 times in the cinema and have rewatched it at least, I dunno, 7-10 more times since then?

Add to all of that the retroactive CANON R+E baby pining subplot? I just love it, as if that wasn’t obvious by now given my Whole Blog. It’s a really special movie to me!

Anyway!! Ok, the main handful of movies I rewatch all the fucking time are:

Back to the Future, The Lost Boys, Pride and Prejudice (2005), Jaws, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club, Ocean’s 11, POTC 1, The Dark Knight, Inception, Die Hard, LOTR trilogy, Snatch, The Nice Guys, Logan Lucky, Mad Max Fury Road, Clueless, 10 Things I Hate About You, Billy Elliot, Dirty Dancing, Tomb Raider (2018)...

Those are the easily consumable ones that I’ve seen so many times I don’t really have to concentrate or think about them, but I really love them and unfortunately often KEEP rewatching them instead of new stuff. It would take too long to go into why I love all these movies so much because I could write the same amount as I already did for ITCH1, and everyone already knows why those movies are good, so, lol.

I think I’m gonna have to subdivide and categorise this whole post because there are too many separate criteria for... goOD MOVIES, AUUHH 😩

Okay so first off, HORROR MOVIES? I’m especially in love with Re-Animator (1985) and its sequel Bride of Re-Animator, they’re such good examples of camp and batshit 80s practical effects, and also EXTREMELY funny. I’m actually just gonna post my list of my fave horror movies that I do actually keep on my phone at all times lmao. These are in no particular order:

Wholeheartedly recommend every one of these. I’ve never been so scared in my life as I was watching Hereditary in the cinema, hoo boy. Mother! by Aronofsky is one of the strangest experiences I’ve ever had (and I actually saw it on the same day I saw IT ch1 for the first time!! That was a fun day)

Psycho (1960) and The Fly from 1986 should also be on there but I couldn’t fit them in the screenshot.

I’m a HUGE fan of a ton of martial arts movies too, like Kung Fu Hustle, Shaolin Soccer, Ip Man, The Raid movies, John Wick 3 is my fave of the trilogy, Drive from 1997 with Mark Dacascos is incredible, SPL 2, Ong-Bak, Operation Condor, Project A, Iron Monkey, and Zatoichi (2003) are some favourites.

My favourite Tarantino is Reservoir Dogs, fave Coen brothers are Raising Arizona, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs and O Brother Where Art Thou. Love some old-timey colour correction and weird offbeat dialogue. I also love Goodfellas!!! And Donnie Brasco! And The Firm, I’m so easy for any good crime/law/gangster/heist procedural like that, especially if they’re from the 80s or 90s in a super dated way.

Fave Disney movie is Tarzan, favourite Ghibli movies are Spirited Away and Lupin III. I remember watching Spirited Away during a thunderstorm one time and it being.... god! Transcendent! Favourite Pixar movie is The Incredibles (the first one. ALSO the documentary “The Pixar Story” is great and well worth a watch, it’s very comforting for some reason) and my favourite Dreamworks movies are HTTYD1 and Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron.

I tend to watch more anime movies than tv shows, so stuff like Akira, The Girl Who Leapt Through Time, Summer Wars, Journey to Agartha, and my ultimate fave anime is Sword of the Stranger (2008). The climactic fight in that movie is fucking stunning and should be counted in “bests fights” lists right alongside anything live action

Also if we’re talking animated movies another hearty favourite is Rango, and a Belgian stop-motion (which at one time I considered my favourite movie ever) called Panique Au Village (2009) which is one of the funniest movies ever made imo.

As for TRASHY movies, I’m not sure if that’s the right word for how I feel about these ones but.. dumb/silly/slightly guilty pleasure movies? Ones that I feel need some kind of justification lmfao

Troy - something u must know about me is that I’m a giant slut for the Assassin’s Creed franchise, so if a movie smashes historical and mythological nonsense together with fun costumes and sword fights, I’m gonna enjoy myself. Even if they should have made Achilles and Patroclus gay. Other movies in this vein are King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, and Immortals (2011)

Gods of Egypt - I know all the reasons this movie is whitewashed bullshit. But it was already bullshit with giant Anubis mecha and giant snakes and bad acting and ridiculous CGI and frankly I had a blast at the cinema (my friend who I forced to come with me did not have a blast. Sorry H***)

Avatar - yes, the one with the big blue people. This movie gets a lot of flack nowadays but I really do enjoy it just for the spectacle. The full CGI world technology was so new at the time and I love to wallow in the visuals and daydream about riding a cool dragon around in the jungle

George of the Jungle - I’ll defend this movie to the death ok this movie shaped me as a person, it is fucking hilarious and Brendan Fraser is the himbo to end all himbos. It’s perfect. The song Dela is perfect. I still want to write a reddie AU about it. It’s one of the best movies ever made and I’m not being ironic

Set It Up - I KNOW this is a dumb Netflix original romcom but consider this; it was funny and the leads had great chemistry. I got butterflies. I once watched it and then literally immediately set it back to the start so I could watch it again

The Brady Bunch Movie - when people talk about great satires or parodies you will see them bring up the same movies over and over again, Blazing Saddles, This Is Spinal Tap etc, but they never talk about The Brady Bunch Movie from 1995 for some reason, which they should. It is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen and every time i watch it somehow it gets funnier

Some more general favourites that I do still love but don’t rewatch as often, and don’t wanna go into more detail about are:

Moon (2009), Crna Mačka Beli Mačor, The Sixth Sense, Parasite, The Handmaiden, Tremors, Wet Hot American Summer, Tucker and Dale vs Evil, What We Do In The Shadows, Hunt For the Wilderpeople, The Secret of My Success (I love kitschy 80s movies, is that obvious by now), The Green Mile, When Harry Met Sally, Rear Window, The Odd Couple, Breaking Away, Pan’s Labyrinth, To Kill A Mockingbird, The Eagle, Gladiator, The Artist, The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec, Call Me By Your Name, Master and Commander, Pacific Rim, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Legend (1985), Emma. (2020), Flash Gordon, Trolljegeren, Hross í Oss, Beverly Hills Cop, Coming to America, WarGames, District 9, Ajeossi (2010), Tracks (2013), Sightseers, Mud (2012), Pitch Black, Four Lions, Shaun of the Dead, Starship Troopers, The Truman Show, Withnail & I....... Jesus Christ ok I need to stop

NOTABLE EXTREME FAVOURITES that I didn’t include in the regular rewatch list because they’re too heavy/not as well known/require more attention.:

Thin Red Line (1998), Badlands (1973) both dir. Terrence Malick

Malick’s brand of dreamy impressionistic filmmaking is something I find really appealing, both of these movies are gorgeous and unusual and poignant and, in the case of Thin Red Line at least, have a lot of things to say about a lot of rough subjects. I don’t totally understand all those things sometimes, but a theme with a lot of my favourite movies is that I’ll be more likely to love something long-term if it raises unanswered questions, or is surreal/esoteric etc. Plus the cinematography is incredible, and I wish there was a way to get Jim Caviezel’s narration from The Thin Red Line as an audiobook because it’s very poetic and soothing.

Let the Bullets Fly (2010) dir. Jiang Wen

This movie is WILD, it’s so much fun. It’s sprawling and intricate and epic and smart and really fucking funny, it! Has! Everything! A gang of very tolerant outlaws!! Jiang Wen’s beautiful broad chest!!! Chow Yun Fat absolutely DECIMATING the scenery, and the two of them outsmarting each other in order to gain control of a small Chinese town!!! Plus it’s long, but it packs so much nonsense and intrigue that it goes by really fast. Wow what a flick

A Field in England (2013) dir. Ben Wheatley

I know I included this in my horror list but aaaaahhh ahhhh Wheatley is one of my favourite directors (he also made Sightseers, and is directing the Tomb Raider sequel which makes me absolutely rabid.) This is a surreal black-and-white psychological horror black comedy set in the English Civil War about some deserters who may or may not meet the Devil in a field. People eat mushrooms. It’s bonkers. I love being blasted in the face with imagery that I don’t understand

Mandy (2018) dir. Panos Cosmatos

Speaking of being blasted in the face!!!!! This movie... I saw it in the cinema and I can’t even begin to explain the experience, but I’ll try. My favourite review site described it like this:

“...somewhere between a prog album cover come to life and a metal album cover come to life, and subscribes to both genre's artistic tendency towards maximalism: what it ends up being is basically naught else but two glorious hours of being pounded by bold colors...”

So, prog and metal are my two favourite genres of music. This movie opens with the quote “When I die, bury me deep, lay two speakers at my feet, put some headphones on my head and rock and roll me when I'm dead.” and then a King Crimson song, it is SURREAL to the nth degree, it’s violent and bizarre and Nic Cage forges a giant silver axe to destroy demonic bikers and there is a CHAINSAW DUEL. A galaxy swirls above a quarry. Multiple animated horror nightmare sequences. At one point a man says “you exude a cosmic darkness” and releases a live tiger. At another point Cage says, in a digitally deepened voice, “The psychotic drowns where the mystic swims. You’re drowning. I’m swimming.” and I haven’t stopped thinking about it for two years

Paper Moon (1973) dir. Peter Bogdanovich

Really fantastic movie set in the Great Depression (and also in black & white) about a conman and a little kid who may or may not be his daughter, running cons across the Midwest. It’s beautifully shot, so sharp and sweet and the progression of their dynamic is really well done because they’re played by an IRL father and daughter. Tatum O’Neal was NINE YEARS OLD and she’s so amazing in this movie she’s actually the youngest person to win a competitive category Oscar. I keep trying to get people to watch this fbdjfjdbf it’s wonderful

Alpha (2018) dir. Albert Hughes

THIS MOVIE IS A VICTIM OF BAD MARKETING ok, the trailers made it look like some twee crappy sentimental Boy And His Dog Adventure, plus it had voiceovers in American-accented english? That’s a total disservice to one of the coolest things about this film; the fact that they got a linguist to construct an entirely original Neolithic language that all the characters speak for the entire runtime. And yes, it is eventually a Boy And His Wolf adventure, but it’s COOL and fairly brutal, and it has some really incredible cinematography. The landscapes are so strange and barren and alien, you really get the sense that this is an ancient world we no longer have any connection to. And it’s also about like, the birth of dog & human companionship sooo it’s perfect.

Free Solo (2018) dir. Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi, Jimmy Chin

The Free Climbing Documentary. I loved climbing as a kid, I love outdoor sports, and I love movies that elicit a physical reaction in me, whether that’s horny, scared, real laughter, overwhelming shivers, or in the case of Free Solo - HORRIBLE SWEATING TENSION. Like, I knew about Alex Honnold beforehand because of this adventure film festival I go to every year and I followed him on IG so obviously I knew he lived, but the actual climb itself was torture. My hands sweat every time I see it!! It’s incredible, such a cool look into generally what the human body can do, and more specifically, why Honnold’s psychology and life means he’s so well suited to free soloing. It’s such an exercise in getting to know an individual and get invested in them, before they attempt something very potentially fatal.

Brokeback Mountain (2005) dir. Ang Lee

I can’t even talk about this. When I was around 13 I snuck downstairs to watch this on TV at 11pm in secret, and my life was forever changed. I wouldn’t be who I am if I hadn’t seen Brokeback at the age I did. I seriously can’t talk about this or I’ll write an even longer essay than this already is

God’s Own Country (2017) dir. Francis Lee

The antidote to Brokeback Mountain, I’m so glad I managed to see this one in the cinema too. It makes me cry every time, as someone who’s spent years working on a cold British farm with sheep it was very realistic, which is expected since Lee grew up on a farm in Yorkshire. I love that this movie isn’t really about being closeted, but about being so emotionally repressed and self-loathing that the main character finds it so hard to accept love. Or that he deserves to be loved. The cinnamontographies.... lordt... but also the intimacy and sex scenes are fucking searing wow who hasn’t seen this movie by now. 10 stars. 20 stars!!!

Tomboy (2011) dir. Céline Sciamma

I saw this years ago but I’ve never forgotten it, it cut so deep. It’s from the director of Portrait of a Lady on Fire and it’s about a gnc kid struggling with gender and misogyny and homophobia in a really raw, scrappy way, it reminded me very much of my own... childhood... ahh the central performance is amazing for such a young age. I haven’t seen Portrait yet but I feel like if you went nuts for that, you should definitely check this out, it’s lovely.

Donnie Darko (2001) dir. Richard Kelly

EVERY TIME I WATCH THIS MOVIE I UNDERSTAND LESS AND LESS and that’s what I love so much about it. I love surreal movies, I love time-fuckery and stuff about altered perception etc etc and Donnie Darko scratches all my itches. I wish I could find a way to figure out an IT AU for it, because I know it would work! Somehow! Plus it’s got the subdued 80s nostalgia and I found it at an age when I was really starting to explore movies and music and the soundtrack FUCKS.

Offside (2006) dir. Jafar Panahi

I wish more people knew about this!!! It’s an Iranian film about a disparate group of women and girls who are football fans and want to watch Iran’s qualifying match for the World Cup, but women aren’t allowed into the stadium, so they all get thrown into the Stadium Jail together? They don’t know each other beforehand, but it’s about their changing relationships with each other and the guards and just, their defiance alongside hearing the match from the outside and WOW it’s so lively. Great dialogue and very funny, and such a different kind of story from anything you usually see from Hollywood.

The Fall (2006) dir. Tarsem Singh

This movie... I guess it’s the ideal. This is the platonic ideal of a film for me, it has fantasy, magical realism, glorious visuals, amazing score and costumes and production design and a really interesting, heartbreaking relationship at the core of it. I don’t know why so many of my favourite films feature incredibly raw performances by child actors but this is another one, Catinca Untaru barely knew any English and improvised so much because of that, and it’s fascinating to watch! Also the dynamic with Lee Pace is one of my favourites, where a kid forms a friendship with a guardian figure who isn’t their parent, but the guardian grows to really care for them by the end. It’s like Paper Moon in that sense. What is there to even say about this movie, it’s pure magic joy tempered and countered by genuine gutwrenching emotional conflict in the real world, it’s also ABOUT old moviemaking, in a way, and it’s stunning to look at!

Mad Max Fury Road (2015) dir. George Miller

I know I included this in my “most rewatched” section but it deserves its own thing. We all know why this movie is fucking incredible. I remember clutching my armrests in the cinema and feeling like my skeleton was being blasted back into the seat behind me and tbh that is the high I’m constantly chasing when I go to see any movie. What a fucking gift this film is

Théo et Hugo dans le Même Bateau (2016) dir. Olivier Ducastel, Jacques Martineau

I only found this movie last year and it became an instant favourite. Initially I was just curious because I’d never seen a movie with unsimulated sex before, but it’s so much more than the 18 minute gay sex club orgy it opens with. No, not more than, AS WELL AS. The orgy is important because this movie is so candid and frank about sex and HIV treatment in the modern day, it was eye-opening. Another thing that really got me is that I’d never seen a real-time film before. It’s literally an hour and a half in the lives of these two men, their intense connection and conversation and conflict in the middle of the night in Paris, with some really nice night photography and just!!! Wow!!! AMAZING CHEMISTRY between the actors. This is such a gem if you’re comfortable with explicit sexual content.

Ok. This is already over 3k but film is obviously one of my ridiculous passions and I can and do talk about it for hours. I’ve been reading magazines about it for years, listening to podcasts and reading review blogs and recently, watching video essays on YouTube because the whole process is so interesting to me and I want to learn more!!

Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of valuing form over narrative. The idea that story can often come second to the deeper physical experience and emotional reaction that’s created by using ALL the elements of filmmaking and not just The Story, y’know? Whether that’s editing, shot composition, colour, the sound mix, the actors, how it should all be used to heighten the emotional state the script wants you to feel. And so, I think for a few years now this approach has been influencing the types of films I really, really love.

I think I love surreality and mind-bending magical realism in films specifically because the filmmakers have to use all those different tools to convey things that can be way too metaphysical for just... a script? I’m always chasing that physical response; if a movie can make me stop thinking “I wonder what it was like to set up that shot” and instead overwhelm that suspension of disbelief, if I can be terrified or woozy or crying for whatever reason, that’s what I’m looking for. That’s why I watch so many fuckin movies, and why I’ll always remember nights like seeing IT (2017) for giving me another favourite.

Thank you again for this question, I didn’t mean to go so overboard. Also there’s no way to do a readmore on tumblr mobile so apologies to anyone’s dashboard 😬

[roseprincesskristina]

The Blue Pacifist's Delectable Dessert

((Heya guys. I have to upgrade a previous fanfic I made last year to make it a little more steamy than before. Changed a few sentences since they didn't come out right, fixed the title and such. But now, here's a better revamped version of everyone's favorite Maverick hunting duo enjoying their off duty vacation, or a private "meeting" away from their comrades at Hunter HQ. Before reading, you don't have to read or view this that involves yaoi, especially sexual stuff. However, for those of you who admire boy's love, then feel free to enjoy the fiction with your heart's content. Anywho, hope you guys enjoy reading! 😊✌))

Pairing: X/Zero

Rated: M

Franchise: Megaman X

Daytime at Maverick Hunter HQ, before the maverick crimes have occurred into the middle of the town on Abel City. Humans and Reploids still coexist as one into the similar society without restrictions. At Headquarters, the fearless hunting crusaders X and Zero, dueling against the king of all maverick monstrosity as well as former commander, Sigma. Right now, they are off duty to enjoy their lives together with no further disturbances from anyone. Especially the dual pistol wielding wild child, Axl. 

The brunette is finally working onto the reports in peace, away from the devastating wars, genocide and such, just to clear his mind except one memory to be stored forever. The only person who truly looks up to him more than others and accepts him for who he really is that he cannot live without: Zero. A serious mentor who is no joke and meant business when it comes to criminals. Even blood thirsty irregulars. Elsewhere, he is practicing in the training simulator for a perfect score, no mistakes. Thinking about his partner while training fuels his stamina, speed, strength and mind to increase ten times faster than before, as well as running away from his nightmarish past. Slashing and hacking each and every one of them in one sweep of a broom or feather cleaner. His saber is the vacuum and mavericks are the dust that spread the mess across the carpet. All set and done, this session has been completed. Civilians saved, villains whacked. With nothing better to do, he returns to check on his friend for an “emergency meeting”.

“Yo, X.”

“Oh. Hey Zero. How are you?”

“Meh, training’s alright. But way too easy for yours truly.”

“He he he. As you always say.”

Both of them chuckled during a small conversation. 

“So anyway, X. We’re gonna be attended on a serious meeting this afternoon about something important.”

“OK, Zero. I’ll be there shortly.”

He nodded as the rose red android walked off to his room. With a special plan he has in mind for his shy lover while rubbing his hands together, chuckling evilly.

“He he he he… Oh, I’ll give him a serious meeting alright. A very special one in store he’ll never forget for the rest of his life." 

This afternoon passed, the forest pupil eyed peace lover has been reminded about this "meeting” that his buddy mentioned earlier to participate as he walked over to his room to tell him that it will began shortly. The red blonde is already ahead of him, all prepped for something sexually important. A perfect chance for some fun until the blue hunter begins to knock on his partner’s door, but it was opened automatically.

“Hello? Zero? Are you in here? I’m here to inform you about the starting of today's meeting. Are you ready?”

He went inside to pick him up for the meeting, but then, something around the room has changed quickly. Red all around him, completely established. Candles, roses, and more into a special decoration. Could this be some sort a trick or perhaps anything else?

“Yes, my little soft cupcake~. I’m ready~. And this time, there’s gonna be some changes around here~. We’re having our own private meeting together~. Alone~"

The deep soothing and calm voice was coming from the shadows echoing across the brunette when the door had suddenly closed behind him automatically. Then, a strange long haired silhouette proceeds slowly with one hand placed onto the hip exiting from the bathroom. Closer and closer to him with the pink reddish tongue rotating across his lips.

"Z...Zero?"

“Come over here, my cute little disciple~" Allured the sunshine headed superior with his finger moving, commanding the sea armored buster user to proceed at him. "And let me.......comfort you with my hospitality~"

"Well... Alright then." Responded the blueberry 17th commander, covered by his own shade of blushed scarlet while proceeding towards his hard yet sexy senpai.

It was Zero, who had faked the whole scheme about the serious meeting shtick all along by surprise, roping his arms around his cerulean lover's neck after approaching himself to him.

"So~ How about you, X~? You ready for our occasional meeting alone~? With your one and only senpai~?" Comely said the erotic crimson ex maverick, rubbing his bae's underchin.  

"Uhh… Zero?” Flustered the shy Light bot. 

“Shhhhh~…. No need to speak, little man~” The blond placed his finger onto his young lover’s lips to interrupt his question, placing him politely onto the bed to sit him down. "Just try to relax by taking a seat to forget about those dull reports all day long and enjoy a quality time of watching me perform for you~“ 

"O...OK..." He hardly gulped.

Before the start of this romantic business, the sapphire droid looked towards his lover for a moment. Seeing him in a different outfit. Meaning that he’s not wearing his inner suit underneath his armor, but it shows off half of his body and abs while wearing a sparkling knotted crop top sided with a long dancing dress knotted around his waist, the different kind with a slit design showing the left leg. Detailed with a non see through mask to cover the luscious lips for later, along with the initialed pierced Z shaped gem within his succulent navel. It was very hot for him to wear, so he strips from it to cool down. Golden hair fully tightened into a ponytail to make it doesn't blond his view from gazing towards his pure blue joy.

"Uhh… Uhhh…” The brunette was speechless after witnessing his mentor’s gorgeous abs, blushing nervously like a strawberry.

“Mmm, you like my flawless abs, X~? He he he he~... Then perhaps I might show it off to you, if you like~” He winked flirtatiously at the empathetic B class buster user, starting to do a lustful belly dance slowly for a pleasurable entrainment while moving his manly hips to spice up the entire mood, including his partner in crime. Blowing a kiss while performing to keep the commander of the 17th unit company. As he dances, the unique hips are starting to sway motionly, performing in front of the only person he knows and trust the most. Then, he began to stroke all over his entire body endlessly to throw the mild pleasure upon his partner, moaning in satisfaction.

“Z…Zero..? What is going on?” The bright sapphire shades gun bearer asked, dripping by the sweat of flush.

“He he he he he~ No need to ask such pointless questions, baby blue~ What you really need to do is focus on my delicious hot body, waiting for you to become its victim~.” Winked the previous irregular android, motioning his hands upon his iron well being seductively right in front of X. 

Shaking his harden hips rapidly will shut away the boring stuff from his lover’s mind, wanting him to focus on what’s important, increasing the intensity of his energy. He slowly runs his entire body all over his abs and crotch to create an endless spell upon the shy brunette. To permanently spread around this room including him. Endlessly.

“Succumb to my glorious gem, X~ Try not to flee away from something impossible to resist so easily~” He compelled, pouring more of his charms on his tree bark haired boyfriend. “Obey my hard, ripped, succulent body~”

“Z...Zero…? Have you gone....insane all of a s-!”

Before he could even ended his sentence, the tall motivator in red jammed his lips into his shyly lover's, eating away the dreary worries right out of his body with a seductive force. But slowly while placing the hand onto his partner's cute little crotch.

"M...Mmmmph~?!"

"Mmmmmmmmmmm~"

"Mmmmph~! Mmmmmmmph~!"

"Mmmmmmm~ Mmmmmm~"

A few hours then, after for a longing spell of a smooch given by the upperclass crimson has forced the B class novice to wallow in a pool of desires, no hoping for exits or escape plans as an excuse to leave but to accept this love virus seeping down his core. Replacing the bad memories filled with conflict, into something more clear and important as in "staring at anything beautiful like my best friend" type memory.

"So baby~ What did ya think of my gift~?" He asked with awareness.

"It's beautiful, my master~...." Replied the blue sky themed android, compelled fully despite of the deep slurping kiss. "I will happily cherish your gift by placing my eyes onto you~...."

"Good boy~"

Perfectly hypnotized by the further kiss, the blond seductively dances his way to him with his hips rattling, bending over to make out with his friend’s lips deeply. Taking his hands and placed them on his buffed waists in the middle of dancing as he kisses the young blueberry, who started to caress his boyfriend’s legs non stop in a looping motion.

“Mmm~ I love it when you playfully massage my thighs, X~” He sighed in pleasure while kissing the honorable blue hunter some more. "Oh, your hands are so soft and yet also deliciously warm on my body~ Ohhh~ Unh~ U...Unh~..."

“Mmm…” The muffled moan during the mouth connection has drained the sadness out of the cerulean individual and filled his body with satisfaction. 

Now his true focus is on the one person he knows and trust while circling his arms onto his golden haired lover’s hips. While dancing even more lustfully, he smoothly strokes his body all over once more until suddenly…..

“Oops~! He he he he~ Oh my~.... What an unfortunate accident I’ve done to myself~. Or is it~?” He giggled, pretended that one of his fingers have slipped into his innie of the stomach.

The accident that happened right now is that the former scarlet Wily bot have “accidentally” placed his finger inside his diamond shaped navel. One of the most flawless man cave to ever search into, or perhaps to play with it slow and hard. 

The kind hearted gunner started to blush even darker when he first witness his red bae’s “accidental act” that he did. Almost fainted by chance, but unfortunately not. His pure little heart would began to pump a beat slowly and hastily at the same time. 

“Z….Zero! What in God’s name are you doing?!” Blushed the B Class hunter, covering his nose to prevent the starting of the perverted bleeding. But it’s useless.

“He he he he~ Maybe I should.... play with my cave just to amuse you even more~” Said the A Class mentor with a seductive tone, rubbing his godly pit of the navel with his finger before shoving it inwards by a slow motion.

He does so right away by circling his finger inside the navel slowly before doing something hard and fun. Moaning softly and panting with pleasure and starting swirling his tongue upon his lips has made the peace loving android very love sick. Seeing his lover playing around with his beautiful navel, this is completely new to him. His perfect desire towards his lovable potential boyfriend has launched the rocket up to the stars for a special 4th of July. The blue hunter flustered in red, attempting to resist this dazzling beauty before him, trying to fight off the spell from possessing his mind. However, it is no use to defend himself from it. 

“Mmmmmm~ It’s useless to resist, X~ Especially from my flawless charms~Just surrender to it and worship my treasure tomb~” He sexually compelled the young reploid, playing with his navel some more and licking his lips in sultry with a purr. Wiggling his entire hips to move his tiny tummy hole very closely to the sapphire droid. "Come on, boy~ I know you wanna taste this sweet dessert that you desperately desire~ Or are really you nervous~? He he he he~"

"G...Good God..." He gulped once again, fighting off his own inclination by attempt. Avoiding to break the code of the Maverick Hunters regulation that was promised not to disobey, but the irresistible charms caused by the blonde sword user would place a cage upon him to make it very impossible to ignore or to escape. With no choice but to suffer and witness the "poisonous" beauty before him. 

"Oooooh~ My navel is so hot along with my body~ Don't you agree, my sweet little kohai~?" Flirted the flaming themed slasher, deepening his tasty treasure hole to force his blooming violet to submit. Stretching it wide by two fingers of the other hand should be able to create an irresistible trick to toss it across his face. Exiting the entire tongue right out of his mouth, preparing for a rocking party, running the lips into a slowly yet circular pose. "It feels so good when I pleasure it so passionately~ And yet so freaking hot from all the hard work under the summer evening~ Maybe I should fetch something cool to keep my hard sexy body fully hydrated~" With that said, he immediately swipe the bottle of clear water kept in his mini fridge and opened it by removing the cap. However, the idea in his head was right ahead of him when he started to pour the pure H2O all over his whole anatomy. Chest orbs, stomach, the works in order to ultimately arouse the blushing B Class warrior. And most importantly, his crispy navel until one of the drops have entered within it.  

"Mmmmm~ That's much better~ So refreshing~" He moaned, while being all wet with more liquid splashed upon him. "I'm feeling so filthy when my body is still sweaty~ Guess I should clean myself up because I'm a dirty hunter~" Still moist into the raining drips of clean water, he commenced himself by caressing the crimson armored anatomy all day long. Sided with massaging the chest and crotch. Secondly, the rounded booty. Then last but not least, his treasured innie.

"Ahhh~ I can't stop polishing myself when I'm around you, baby~ Even my flavorable cavern is quite moist too, especially since I punish it~" He groaned in satisfaction, screwing with his irresistible abs and navel rapidly "without" ever to control himself or urges. Arousing his precious little pacifist by getting him to submit.

"Mmmm~ What a naughty little navel I have~ So soggy and yet irresistibly moist~ It even wants me to give a little punishment for being so wet from this cool water~"

"*gasps* M...My goodness... His gorgeous body.... Along with his navel... It's so... sexy.... No...! I must resist from this distraction.... I must..." He hyperventilates. Feeling of his core skipping a beat like a heart due to exercising for raising the blood level. He began to shield his eyes by looking away from the unavoidable charm, however, had almost peered at the handsome sun haired mentor's navel.  

"Mmmmmm~ That's right, baby blue~ What you've seen before you is the most perfect jewel of all~ You see, my navel may be beautiful, but it's kinda dirty for me to clean it up~ If only there's someone with a tender heart that would do me a huge favor, I'll gladly give him a special reward for his hard work~" He roleplayed, staring the attention at the sky colored freedom fighter who is still struggling to battle against his urges. 

The gorgeous red individual takes his other finger to allure the young reploid into a  “comehere” position while the other hand seductively explores his man cave even deeper than ever before. He winked at him sexually along with a chuckle and purred into his earport as he tilted forward. h

"Oh X~" Singly spoken the A Class expert, sex talking towards the kind hearted blaster user by lifting his head gently and whispers in his ear. "Mmmm X~ You're even more handsome in that shy expression on your face, trying to look away from my warm, passionate, unyielding body that I'm gonna give you for being a good boy who obeys his master~ I love that in a reploid~ Which is why it makes my navel REALLY hot by your innocence~...." Licking across the listening port, the young commander of the 17th unit have flustered to the max.

"O...Oh d..d..dear...." He shooked with slight hesitation, trying to backward himself from this cornered "predicament".

"Mmmm, I wanna please you the living crap outta you so bad, boy~ Even to punish you all the way~"

"G...Gulp..." The nervousness effect had already gain this opportunity to take him as well as the body under his control to assist him by force, stretching his eyelids of prevention trying not to fall asleep in the center of the blonde beauty's impossible view of sexual performance grappling around him. On the other hand, the tall mentor in bright burgundy strolled forward to give his "more than a friend" boy toy a very longing purr into his ear port.

“Purrrrrrr~"He said into his lover's hearing port. "Just give yourself up, kid~ Like I said before, it's useless to escape from my powerful charms~ Look into my eyes and be mine~ You have no choice but to surrender my spell~ Look at me, X~ Become my slave~"

"U...Uhhh… I….I…. ” Until then, the endless spell has grasped him tightly at last. Showering all over his mind with both his belly dancing pleasure and some delicious navel punishing to erase away the unwanted views of wars and death. All of it will disappear from existence forever 

“Yes, my senpai… I will focus upon your beautiful domain…” Said the hypnotized brunette, completely paralyzed by his lover’s consensual spell. 

“Mmmm~ Much better~” The blond smiled seeing his lover finally succumbed to the spell as he dances his way to him. Shaking his delectable hips non stop along with the investigation going on inside his navel until he finally reaches towards to the shy reploid. Placing his other hand on his cheek, rubbing in circulation like the one with his bottomless pit on the right and then, he tilted once again towards his ear with a ravishing whisper.

“You’ve been a very good boy, X~ I'm so proud of you for paying attention~" Zero grinned with glad. "For doing such a wonderful job, I think it’s time for you to enjoy your well earned dessert~”

He revoke his finger from the navel, gesturing his lover closely with his other one once more as the sensitive hunter slowly advances towards his stomach, preparing for a taste of his scrumptious treat. With him completely under the desirable spell, he shall gain the honors of inserting his tongue into his mentor’s stomach hole while feeling the groping palm squeezing his tiny blue bottom along a little spanking, wanting his bae belching out a silent moan of enjoyment. Finally enjoying the hot meeting with him alone was the excellent plan. Continuously rubbing his senpai’s hips while licking his prized gem. 

“Unh~ Uhh~ Oh yes~ Yes~ That’s it, my dear kohai~ Embrace my treasure closely as your life depends on it~" Panted the irregular hunting master, teasing his disciple's blueberry ass into a circular fashion.

"As you wish, my handsome senpai~” He muffled while licking non stop, blushing in pink shade due to the soft senses from his instructor's hand.

During the enjoyment of a private yet sensual meeting, both of them began to make out all the way upon the bed while the innocent android rubs the hips of his fellow dancer endlessly, while the pepper colored tutor continuously fingers his cave seductively. After that, he allows the emerald eyed hunter to lick inside of it with his tongue, swirling it around as he moaned passionately and permanently. 

“Oh yes~ Yes~ Mmmm~ Worship my man cave, X~ It needs its nourishment and must be parched immediately~” He panted lustfully of commandment

Yes, my sexy mentor~.... I will polish your flawless pit with all my force~...." Replied the ocean colored apprentice, searching deeper within the body hole by tongue.

"Mmmmm~ Oh God~ Unh~ Unh~ Keep going, baby~ Oh, my body is really boiling hot right now~"

The indigo hunter kept going faster and faster than ever while the blond wraps his arms around his neck, holding it closer for a deeper search as well as nourishment. Both of them moaned back and forth, right, left, up, down, in, out, hot, cold, night, day. Things are getting even more intense yet somewhat pleasurable. This sexual meeting between the two hunters is the best important meeting than any other kind of hobby. The master expert purrs again with lust and enjoyment while his indigo student kept licking his favorable snack/dessert further and further. 

“Oh X…. X…. X…. X…. X…. X…. X….X.... X.... X.... X.... X.... X..... X..... X..... X....X!!!!!!!!!

Several times of the red swordsman humming his lover’s name continuously until something inside him erupts with love juice. Panting even faster like he’s rushing to save someone from jeopardy as the sky painted gun fighter kept enjoying it harder and longer until the meeting has been concluded. All of the bad memories deep within the Class A mentor’s brain are finally replaced and done away with at last, storing a new one to help him remember someone close and trustworthy to him always. Finally, he can obtain the rest that he deserves, hugging his beloved blueberry with descending tears.

"Ahhhhh..... God.... That was extraordinary.... Thanks, babe~" He sighed, huffing with a thrill of sensation warming his frozen heart.

Nightfall arises as the beautiful moonlight appears above the skies, shining through the windows. Both hunters are cuddling each other closely, bodies pressed tightly and arms trapped around them in a loving sensual way.

“Oh Zero… This was the most romantic meeting I’ve ever attended to.” Smiled the innocent peace lover, intrigued by this new experience.

“Heh. Glad you think so, babe~ What’s really inspiring is that you really enjoyed the dessert I gave you~” He said.

“Y…Yeah. It really is delicious~” The brunette blushed as the blond kissed him on the forehead.

And so, both of them lean closer for a soft and deep kiss for an amazing day, hopefully it might get even beautiful next time when it’s nighttime. Saying “I love you” to each other before enjoying the comfort of each other within their bed. This has been the best vacation of their lives. No mavericks nor interruptions whatsoever to spoil their loving bonds. Just the two of them, all alone in this room. The blue monarch and the red hornet.

"I love you, my sexy red dragon~"

"I love you too, my beautiful blue unicorn~"

The End

[fahrenheit059]

The Lost Dragon Queen

Part 3, Nyx:

Nyx violently wakes up from her sleep, breathing heavily, while gripping her Sword. As she caught her breath, tears silently slid down her cheeks. Every night she had dreamed about the same memory, her parent’s assassination. Nyx felt responsible for their deaths, and in her heart, she wanted to make it up to them. Even if she wasn’t the direct cause of their death, she couldn’t help but think that her very existence was the reason for their demise.

Nyx wiped her face with a towel, and left to change clothes. She opted to wear her usual leather pants, and combat boots. She wore a sleeveless tunic that made her tattoos stand out. Nyx strapped her daggers to her legs and hid two in her boots. She then wore her black trench coat, tightened the buckle, and sheathed her Sword to her back. Nyx looked through the window and convinced herself to go to the town and look for some new books, and a job. Nyx wanted to get a drink and go Pit Brawling.

The château was a few miles away from the town, so it gave Nyx an excuse to stretch out her wings and fly. As Nyx flew around the night sky, she savored the feeling of the wind hitting her face and hair. She felt free. Ever since she was old enough to fly, Nyx and her father would fly around their family’s estate all night. Nyx’s wings were larger than the average female’s, and they weren’t the common feathered wing. Nyx had a pair of large dragon-like scaled wings. When she was younger, Nyx always loved showing off her unique wings. Now, she felt that they were a dark reminder to the bloodshed and pain her family brought.

Nyx landed away from the town so she could have time to use her magic and hide her wings again. Nyx knew what the town’s people thought of her. As she walked through the market and towards the pub, her Fae-ears could hear the whispers from the townspeople saying, “Look, it's the mercenary,” or “Stay away from her, I hear she’s dangerous.” The remarks stopped bothering Nyx a long time ago. Even if she saved a child’s life, or stopped the bandits from robbing the town, the villagers only saw her as a ruthless, unforgiving, and cold-hearted mercenary.

As Nyx walked to the pub, she looked around. Usually, everyone would be running away from the pub or out of the library. On the contrary, more people were running into the pub. When she reached the pub, she realized that more people were lining up to see the Pit Brawlings than usual. Good, perhaps this means there is someone worth fighting for once. As Nyx was handed her drink she spotted two suspicious males sitting in the corner of the pub. They were sitting at her favorite table. The one that was trying to hide his axe was getting up and walking to the Pits. He was carrying an axe longer than normal. It had a longer base, but the blade was elongated and curved. A weapon like that was rare. If someone was lucky enough to find one, they would either have to kill its wielder or pay a large sum of money. Interesting…

As Nyx continued to drink her ale, she felt there was something aloof about the other man, no- male. A Fae male ...how odd. The Fae usually avoid towns such as this. Why in Hell’s name would one come here?

Nyx consumed the rest of her drink and walked towards the Pit's Master. She had to wait for another five rounds before she could get in, but that gave her time to study the other male currently in the Pit.

The man…no also male,  in the pit has golden-blonde hair. He isn’t as muscular as the other male, but it was obvious he was carrying more weapons than he was showing. He had a sword equipped to his sword belt but he wasn’t using it. The male was wearing a black cloak but did little to hide his feathered wings, almost as large as Nyx’s.

Nyx watched the attack patterns and the way the mysterious male used his axe. He used the same repeating motions; swing, dodge, parry, hit, repeat. He looked like Death Incarnate, defeating each person with grace, similar to a butterfly flying in the sky. Nyx was entranced by the fight.

Sooner than later, it was Nyx’s turn in the Pit. While they circled each other, Nyx noticed his deep blue eyes that were easy to get lost in. Nyx’s thoughts were interrupted by a push to the sides of the wall. Nyx just realized, she had no way to defeat this, this…. Oh no. Oh hell no, he is an Awoken Daemanti.

The Awoken Daementi were a race similar to the fae, however they were very rare to find. Their physical appearance was the same, pointed ears, elongated caines, and extreme youth. However, they were far more lethal and had the ability to easily deceive a person with magic. Many of the Creatures of the Night attempted to kill them, but only few succeeded and less survived.

“So I guess, your axe gave your … uniqueness away,” Nyx said with a smug smile as she got up, and started to circle the male again.

“You're the one to talk to. You're so smug, but for how long, hm?” He questioned, raising a brow.

Before Nyx could come up with a retort, he was already his axe for her head. She crouched, dogged, circled, flipped, anything to avoid getting hit by the weapon. “Damn it,” Nyx started, as she finally started to draw her Sword, “I was hoping I could take you down the old-fashioned way, but desperate times call for desperate measures.”

“You call this desperate? For if someone can wield a Buster Sword, you should be able to get me down easily, wimp,” was all he said with a complacent smile.

“How DARE you, oh sh-” Nyx began, as she bent backward to avoid the axe. That stupid weapon was starting to get a little annoying.

Five minutes later, Nyx was still on the defensive. She couldn’t land an attack. Nyx attempted to parry the next attack but was kicked hard in the ribs. She spat out the blood from her mouth, wiped the blood from the cut that now grazed her cheekbone. Her opponent gasped when he saw her black blood drop to the floor. He looked at her with fear. Nyx used that as an opportunity to attack. Circling him, she started to aim towards his head. She misses, but her Sword manages to cut through the shirt he wears, which reveals a tattoo. Nyx looked at it, his axe and his face again. “Gods damn it,” she hissed under her breath realizing he was the Reaper of Souls and a member of the royal family that supposedly left.

Nyx stumbled backward, heavy with exhaustion. The Reaper of Souls continued to attack her once again, and Nyx continued to dodge him. Five more minutes, all she needed was to survive for five more minutes to land her critical blow.

While Nyx was getting bloodied up, she was studying the way the Reaper of Soul was attacking. She noticed that his wings continued to fall in the same direction. He was using it as a shield to protect his lower back. His weak spot.

Nyx let her Sword drag against the floor, as she ran towards him. She was trying to bait him into believing that she was tired, even though she was tired. When she was about to approach, she slid to her right, the same direction the Reaper of Souls’ axe was swinging from. The slide allowed the dust from the Pit to fly into the male’s face, and give Nyx a chance to get behind him. She hit his sciatic nerve in his leg, with the hilt of her Sword, causing the Reaper of Soul to drop forward onto his knees exposing his back.

Nyx hit his lower back with her knee and put him into a rear headlock. “I know who you are, O’ Mighty Reaper of Souls,” Nyx told him, as the male gaped from the pain.

“Then kill me and get your money merc,” He gasped out.

“I don’t want your money,” Nyx began. The Reaper of Souls was trying to get out of her old, but couldn’t. “I know why you … left. I don’t want to kill you, yield and this fight will be done.”

The Reaper of Souls dropped his axe, held his fist out, and yelled to the Pit's Master, “I yield this fight.”

Nyx let him go and climbed out of the Pit. Before she claimed her money, Nyx caught his scent. She gave him a glance and took her money from the Pit’s Master.

Nyx stayed at the pub, watching more of the Pit fights, and drank some more ale. She is trying to collect her thoughts. The Fae actively avoided small towns like this. The Awoken Daemanti in the Pit, was a member of the Royal family, one she had met years ago at a political party. Nyx remembered him as a stuck-up, pompous pretty boy. But, why was the Reaper of Souls, traveling with a Fae? Nyx thought, no knew that the Fae and Awoken Daemanti hated each other because of some idiotic blood rivalry. How peculiar.

After a couple of drinks and rounds in the Pit, Nyx spotted Fae and decided to fight in the Pit. Nyx immediately recognized his fighting style. He wielded a pair of twin blades, and his techniques were similar to the ones that the Prince of the Royal family used. The male was dominant with his right hand, and extremely weak with his left side, but did everything to protect his left flank. This was odd, but something about the male called out to Nyx. It was like some exterior force pushing her to him.

Later that night, when the two males left the pub, Nyx followed them. She wanted to know who they were. Nyx continues to follow them both until she accidentally steps into a puddle. “Bloody hell,” Nyx hissed, as the Fae male turned around to look at Nyx. Panic started to take over, but she tried to keep her cool, sly mask on. The male looked at her dead in the eyes. Nyx studies his face. A gust of wind passes, and it confirms Nyx’s speculations. “You are Prince Raonn Knight, rightful Heir to the throne of the Creatures of Night,” she blurted out without thinking.

The male continues to look at her. He is about to say something, but instead, another gust of wind passes Nyx, causing her hair to blow around.  She doesn’t need him to say anything. Nyx already knows what his Fae scenes can scent; her lineage.

Any mask of coolness the two had is gone. The Reaper of Souls, asks,  “Cousin, what is going on?”

The Fae does not reply and walks a few steps towards Nyx. “I am Prince Raonn and this is my cousin, Thanatos,” He confirms.

Nyx just nodded, turning around to walk away.

“Wait,” He calls out, “You are the Lost Dragon Queen, Nyx Fahrenheit Reaper-Diablo.”

Raonn’s last sentence stops Nyx like she was struck dead.

[hyphypmic]

@significant other of babe asked: hypmic bois in the pokémon universe please :3c

Okay just saying, I don’t know as much as you do so we’re keeping it to Kanto/Jyoto/Sinnoh/Hoenn  yay but idk abt who goes where so anyway!

Ichiro

Fire type! He loves the fire type Pokémon

And he would definitely choose Charmander as his starter because he’s Ichiro like that

And later on in life he’s like Red (if you know him) or like a very strong trainer

Because he had his Delinquent days (and he highkey detached himself from his brothers so he could go around and win battles and get money for them you know kinda like TDD) so he had his edgy fire squad

And like he explored everywhere, kind of being a general badass and earning his reputation by beating the gyms and all that

but then he matured over the course of his journey (and he learned a ton of new shit) and went back to go around with his brothers and willingly goes through the journey with them so he can help them out

Plus he missed them so he needs to make up for it and they forgive him later on yay

But yes, loves fire type and is very very skilled when it comes to training, battling, motivating, LOVING, and taking care of Pokemon

And okay like I rly see him being a mentor for his brothers and just one day showing off his moves with his fucking charizard and letting saburo uwu ride on it AHHHH

I don’t think he would go for gym leader because he’s more of an adventure boy

Jiro

He tries to live up to his brother and stuff even if he’s kinda resentful he left for a bit, but he’s over it you know

Ichiro would give him the starter pokemon

Like tbh I think Ichiro would give him a Piplup (I’m basic I’m sorry) and like really give him tons of advice

And yes he does challenge saburo on a near daily basis

And ichiro allows this because training, though Jiro won’t get it through his head that a full out offensive isn’t the way to go, though Ichiro figures that he’ll get over it

Anyway, moving on, that’s basically Jiro’s arc and like the buster bros would become like a unit and it would be so cool to see them battle around

And he’s also an adventure boy and really hates it when Saburo delays for some knowledge pursuit

Like he would bring out his also eager Pokemon to drag saburo away like even the piplup gets unto it and tries to drag saburo away from the pursuit of knowledge

Saburo

Quite literally a Pokemon nerd

No really he would probably be the first of the bros to complete his Pokédex like he would finish it

And his goal isn’t like to BATTLE BATTLE BATTLE or WAR WAR WAR it’s literally to gotta catch them all because he’s in the pursuit of knowledge that way

I rly see him having like an Eevee (if any of you play let’s go Eevee) or just not a typical starter Pokemon you know

Ichiro would probably end up giving him an eevee anyway because he knows an Eevee would appeal to like Saburo because it’s an extraordinary type of pokemon

He would love his eevee to the death and would dress it up in all these cute outfits

And yeah he’s a tough guy to battle, but you’ll more likely find him just enjoying the actual pokemon instead of battling

And he’s also p good at strategising when it comes to pokemon and he helps out his brothers

Is very happy with the journey and all that  

Samatoki

Definitely a gym leader, like really because reasons I rly see him being one

And oh my god I see him with a fucking Lucario like!!!!!

And he would love his pokemon to the death and all

And yeah he would be in charge of a fighting type of Pokemon or like that would be his specialty because he’s Samatoki sama aka mr ha ko on the microphone

And yeah he would probably have a side job as a yakuza, but like gym is life and he’s really aggressive but also very very smart when it comes to his attacks

Like even if he’s up against a higher level or like a psychic type, he will come out on top and beat the opposition

Anyway, his origin story is like he just wants to show everyone how strong he is and how that no matter how many times you get beat down, you have to keep going back up

And when he roams around or like helps people train in his own gym, he has a strict way of teaching, but also somewhat understanding and his tips really do help those who visit his gym

Very much open to receiving challenges because he needs to fight oh yeah

He also explored a lot of places and has a shit ton of influence, but the gym and his city is really his home

Team rocket aint fucking with him

Jyuto

Electric type! Is his type!

And yeah srsly just imagine him in that blue Pokemon police uniform hmmm

Also glasses are tilted and touched a lot because that’s the Pokemon trope with the eyeglass glare and everything

Though he’s a kind of corrupt cop, but doesn’t associate with team rocket because you know, exploitation of Pokemon

Though he spies a lot so he has a lot of connections and he’s like the in10se police spy that would be able to find his way in the underground

Like a spy with a position in team rocket oh yeah

And how he meets Samatoki is that Samatoki got into a fight with a team rocket and Jyuto had to subtly subdue said team rocket member

Anyway, yes electric type Pokemon and I really see him with a Luxray because he be cool like that

But seeing him with a shinx you can RIP my soul and send me to heaven because that shit is adorable

Riou

He’s probably also a gym leader

Basically MTC consists of two gym leaders and a cop

Literally Lt. Surge and except he would most likely love grass type pokemon or bug type, or anything you can find in the woods because survival life

Because he’s a woods kind of boy and he spends most of his time with wild pokemon and befriending them before catching them

DO YOU SEE HIM WITH A FUCKING BULBASAUR???? Like???? I really do and it would be so fucking cute to see him with all the little oddish and the Butterfree and the Beautifly and the weedles

This man can have my soul because I can really see him with his flower Pokemon like Venusaur and Meganium and a Vileplume and a Tropius (I know banana but still)

He would love him the grass Pokemon and the bug type

Anyway, yeah he’s all about that survival so his gym is quite the labyrinth, complete with traps

And sometimes he just goes out to roam and spend time with the Pokemon while shirtless :>>>

Ramuda

“Anything cute!” Like he would have a cue Pokemon out and walking with him

But when he brings out his arsenal it’s like really strong Pokemon, though he would probably favor fairy type Pokemon, though there would be a mix of dark type also

I really see him with a Gengar and causing little mischiefs because why not

He also loves fashion so he would really be the champion of those beauty pageants with all his deceptively cute Pokemon like wigglytuff and everyone thinks he’s just superficial and can’t battle for shit

But then face him off and it’s just a complete disaster and you’re going to be wrecked

Like he knows how to deceive and use his Pokemon’s weaknesses to their advantages and he knows the tricks of the trade, all while looking great

i don’t think he would be in the elite four, he would just be one of those freakishly strong trainers that would just pop in every once in a while

Mostly occupies his time with designing, but yeah, pretty good in battle as well

Gentaro

Ghost type!!!! Like he would love the ghost type pokemon or the psychic type because he’s mysterious that way

Or like psychic

Because I see him with an Alakazam and in general probably live in a quiet house with all of his Pokemon

And he would have a soft spot for his mimikyu because he’s the type

Probably would stay in Lavender town because he’s lavender jk no it’s because he’s the type to chill out in the outskirts and have these mystic Pokemon

Still pretty focused on his writing and some training philosophy and what not

And he would be really just calm and cool, but very defensive of his Pokemon because he will protect them with his life

But he houses this garbage rat (dice) who is completely hopeless but yeah Pokemon

And he would be p respectful of Pokemon and be pretty spiritual about it

But in battle he’s pretty dangerous because he’s an author and knows what he’s doing

Dice

I see him having a Persian or a Meowth because he’s nyaaa that way

But in general he would favor normal type Pokemon because there quite intriguing

Also I rly see him chilling around with a rattata because he’s such a garbage rat himself

And he probably doesn’t have a lot of Pokemon because he’s broke and can’t afford poke balls

But very much like Riou, he makes friends with the stray Pokemon or those neglected by their owners

Can do well in battle, but is unfortunately addicted to the gaming places even if his Pokemon try to drag him away from it

It doesn’t help that meowth is dragging him inside and everyone is just trying to stop him

Though dice would have a very unorthodox fighting style and would probably nickname all his Pokemon because he’s dice that way

Jakurai

I see this fucker as an elite four member so they become elite five

And like okay basically!!! You know how you have to fight all the elite four, he would be like the surprise level at the end and he’s very much god tier, like he would specialise in psychic/dragon/dark/flying type, you know that kind of mystic vibe

And he’s just on a level of his own!!! So like he’s very cool and that, and he’s kind as well, like he doesn’t spend most of his time in his seat of power or whatever and he goes around helping people and being a doctor because he likes helping people and Pokemon

But srsly, most people are in such awe of him and he’s just slaying by walking around with a Salamence or a Dragonair or a Dragonite or a fucking Charizard but rly anyway its just me

Or also like an Absol that would be awesome too

Anyway, yeah he really looks so cool, but if you get to meet him, he’s very down to earth and will sit down with you if you want some advice

Doppo

Dark Pokemon like, probably or ghost type of pokemon

I see him with a houndoom! Or like something like that

And he’s pretty anxious and unsure of battling

But if his Pokemon are threatened you have unlocked the beast and he will go on a rampage

Mostly a stressed worker that needs some time to sleep

Usually sleeps with his snorlax or on his slowbro

Like I rly see him just collapsing with a snorlax and sleeping for the entries day

But he would also run and his ghastly would chase after him and his houndoom would prevent him from falling on the tracks and impaling himself

He also shares a room with Hifumi, with his fairy type Pokemon

Srsly, this household has the polar opposites getting along together like the houndoom would take care of the little Pokemon and its pretty wholesome

Probably not that invested in collecting Pokemon and he’s happy with the ones he has

Hifumi

“Anything cute!” No legit he would really have beautiful and cute pokemon like rly pretty but also freakishly strong Pokemon

His clefairy is a thing of legend

And he’s into all that beauty pageant stuff too

And in his club he has his cute electric type Pokemon do their thing along with fairy sparkles and what not

Hifumi with a minun and plusle that’s all that’s all you need to know

Anyway, he loves dressing up his Pokemon, but in host mode, have fun trying to best him in battle because he is really confident in his Pokemon and all that

He might wipe your ass on the floor, unless you’re a girl of course and he’s out of host mode

But in general, all he wants to do is cuddle and play with his Pokemon along with sleeping on the snorlax that doppo sleeps on after a long day at work

[thepucegoose]

Starsky is Canonically Jewish - A Moodboard & Analysis

A detailed exploration of all the Many Many aspects in the canon that point to Starsky being Jewish can be seen under the cut + bonus headcanons! 

So I was looking at Starsky’s fanlore page and the discussion there talks about hints within the canon that Starsky may be Jewish. As one commentator notes, “There is plenty of mild justification for Starsky being Jewish”. Tbh, I’d say that, whilst subtle and never explicitly addressed, there is far more than just mild justification to suggest that Starsky is Jewish, and that he is in fact canonically so (and also I found the menorah they were talking about and I felt like I was on Myth-busters, which I’ve never seen but I imagine they mainly investigate fandom hearsay regarding background menorahs and other such suggestions. I’m insanely proud for having found it please appreciate because it took me a Very long time to, although I’ve found in researching this that there was at least one screenshot of it online here from 2011 :D). 

TV Tropes has Starsky down for the Ambiguously Jewish trope and whilst I definitely agree that Starsky fits this trope description, I would say that there really is nothing ambiguous about it. There are just so so many aspects that come together. This boy is just canonically Jewish! 

(Disclaimer: I’m not Jewish. Although I am very much considering converting and I’ve been studying everything I can about Judaism for well well over a year or so now, as well as attending services through whatever means I’ve been able to, I am by No Means even remotely close to being knowledgeable on the topic. Still, I figured there were some things I’d noticed whilst watching that hadn’t been mentioned that I wanted to bring up, and I also wanted to pull together observations by others into one place because I’m always hyped for canon representation and creating coherent resources. Extensive Research Is My Jam. If I’ve got anything wrong; said something in an uncomfortable way; talked where it wasn’t my place to talk; made assumptions I shouldn’t have; or like, said/done literally anything else that feels even slightly off then Please Please say and I’ll do everything I can to sort it!!)

Reasons why I reckon Starsky is canonically Jewish: 

For one, Paul Michael Glaser is Jewish and if William Shatner being Jewish is good enough for my Jewish!Kirk headcanons then it’s sure as heck good enough for my Jewish!Starksy headcanons. Furthermore, according to Wikipedia, both Leonard Goldberg and Aaron Spelling are Jewish, and a good many of the writers have Jewish surnames too, though I can’t find out much about them specifically. Due to their fame, and therefore extended biographies, Wikipedia does specify that writers Michael Mann, and Fred Freiberger are Jewish. Joe Naar, who produced the show, was also Jewish, and used to joke that his style “was born out of being a short Jew with a huge chip on his shoulder.” Rick Edelstein was hugely involved in the writing of the later series and you can really see the influence Judaism has on his work, as is evident in his more recent short story, Bodega. He also ended his short video supporting Obama in '08 with "l'chaim, to life".

Essentially, I think Jewish people were involved in all levels of production within the show - from the writing, to the acting, to the direction, to the production - and this can be seen in the varied means by which it’s suggested that Starsky is Jewish himself. As such, suggestions that may have been seen as accidental otherwise can then take on greater significance, whilst the more explicit examples take on more emotional weight. 

Why, then, would it not be more explicitly stated that Starsky is, and was always considered to be, Jewish? I read a really interesting post the other day about how Jewish people in Hollywood often felt unable to include Jewish characters/actors/themes in their work out of fear of seeming too “tribalistic, or insular, or that Hollywood was (as it was in the antisemitic imagination) a ‘Jewish’ front”. Obviously, I can’t comment from a Jewish perspective, but when I was younger I felt similar pressure in regards to including queer characters. As such, I think it’s really exciting to see the very explicit references to Starsky being Jewish, even if they aren’t clearly obvious to a wider audience not actively looking for such references.

Paul Michael Glaser also played Perchik in Fiddler on the Roof (1971) - which I mention not only because it shows Glaser playing other Jewish roles, but also as a recommendation because I Love My Hyped Wee Jewish Communist Revolutionary Boy. Glaser talked about how Starsky was a culmination of other characters he’d played prior to Starsky (DVD extras) and I think this is quite evident in Starsky and Perchik’s respective behaviours. As a nod to this, the middle top picture is (apparently) from a Jewish Labour Bund publication. This is something you can learn more about on its Wikipedia article here, and there’s more interesting things about The Bund here and here as well!

As we all know, Starsky calls Hutch the Blond Blintz (to his Puce Goose) :D Here’s a recipe for blintzes from myjewishlearning.com - they’re like pancakes and it’s an Ashkenazim custom to eat them on Shavuot. Also I love the scene in The Set-Up: part 1 where he first calls Hutch the Blond Blintz and Hutch is like???? and Starsky just says Blintz very definitively and with no further explanation and Hutch is just like,,, u kno what,, I’m just going to roll with this.) 

I basically just really love this because it’s an example of Starsky being very openly and explicitly involved in Jewish culture, not just when he says it in The Set-Up, but also in Starsky’s Lady, when playing with the kids, especially as there aren’t a lot of references to things that carry on across multiple episodes.

I also like the way he pulls everyone else into his reference of it very un-apologetically; it feels very in character. There’s a picture of a blintz in the left column of the middle row! (Also, I feel like,,,, there might be some,,,, Freudian Implications to naming your partner after a rolled pancake filled with cream cheese that gets released when eaten?? @jimmyandthegiraffes fite me.)

Whilst Hutch looks at a glow in the dark cross being sold by Huggy in Jojo (written by Mann), Starsky picks up a mezuzah, which are put up at gateposts and door frames in Jewish homes - here’s a video about it :D The picture in the left-most bottom corner is Starsky inspecting this mezuzah. I really like this scene because he goes straight to it and seems to be considering it with very real interest. This is interestingly contrasted with Hutch picking up the cross, which isn’t the only time the show appears to draw a distinction between their respective cultural and religious heritages. 

I think that really responds to some of the stuff William Blinn has said about their casting and how thrilled they were to have two actors playing characters from such different backgrounds whilst having such great chemistry, and how that really helps form the magic of the show even (DVD extras). I think their respective choices really help to demonstrate how assumed it was that Starsky Would naturally pick up a mezuzah, in contrast to Hutch’s cross. 

The menorah (or actually Chanukkiah if we’re going to be really specific about it) in the background of Starsky’s apartment in Foxy Lady and in Blindfold. For so long I thought this was a myth but!! it’s not!!!! You can see it in the right hand column, middle row :D With the greatest thanks to the canon compendium for pointing out the episodes it appears in and also for like, literally everything else - it’s genuinely just the best fandom resource I’ve seen. I love this because I think, asides from a Magen David (Star of David), I think a menorah is one of the most well known symbols of Judaism and I think it’s really rad that it’s something the crew thought consciously to include, even if it is a largely not shown background detail. Again, it’s subtle but explicit which is why I would argue that Starsky is canonically Jewish.

It’s also worth remembering that even though it’s in an area in his apartment that doesn’t get shot by the cameras except on a few occasions, it Is a part of the apartment that’s Really visible from like, every direction and is right across from the front door. I’ve got another screenshot below from Blindfold that puts it more in context of where it is. I think this is really cool!! It’s obviously something he considers a big enough part of his life to keep on display year round and it’s something instantly recognisable and visible for anyone coming into his house (Foxy Lady came out on March 1st and Blindfold on October 21st, neither of which are around Chanukkah, if you’re going by episode air dates).

Speaking of the Magen David :D As can be seen in the episode Little Girl Lost, Starsky has a couple of blue six pointed stars on his dash under his Christmas decoration, as you can see in the top left hand corner of the mood board. I think this is really cool because Starsky is obviously very hyped for Christmas in this episode, hanging reindeer from his mirror and singing Christmas songs and being really hyped for presents, and this could be used to suggest that Oh No He Can’t Be Jewish He Likes Christmas, but not only does he only engage in secularised aspects of Christmas (in contrast to the nativity scene at Kiko’s house), there’s the very conscious inclusion of these stars. All the scenes in the car are set during Chanukkah, which ran from 16-24th December in 1976, and the stars are blue, which, along with white or silver, is often used for Chanukkah decorations and is traditionally associated with Judaism. Basically this remains in keeping with the subtle yet very conscious inclusion of Jewish symbolism, easily missed by those not thinking to look for it. 

Also I know heaps of Jewish people that enjoy the secular aspects of Christmas, particularly if the holiday has meaning for their friends. In Starsky’s case this might be more because he wants to annoy Hutch and he likes bickering or perhaps because he’s upset by Hutch’s increasing cynicism and wants Hutch to feel happier. Or because he wants a new caboose for his train set. Probably that.

In the bottom left hand corner you’ll see a picture of Paul Muni, born   Frederich Meshilem Meier Weisenfreund, Meshilem being his Hebrew name. I just like that Hutch suggests Starsky’s mother called him Rudolph Valentino and Starsky corrects him saying she “said I was more of the Paul Muni type”, suggesting the actor she compared him to was actually a notably Jewish one (Paul Muni references can be found in Lady Blue, as written by Mann, and Silence). Again, I think the contrast between Hutch suggesting a gentile actor, and Starsky raising a Jewish one instead is interesting, as well as highlighting Starsky’s mother’s engagement with, and perhaps predisposition towards, Jewish culture.

On it’s own this is perhaps more of a curiosity, maybe too much opportunity for coincidence to really warrant too much attention, but Dobey also chooses a Jewish comparison in The Velvet Jungle when he says, “who do you think you are, Starsky, Milton Berle?” So here we have two instances wherein the comparisons drawn with Starsky are with other Jewish personalities.

In Terror On The Docks (written by Freiberger), Huggy apologises for not bringing an ill Starsky chicken soup, instead bringing mustard green broth which, “where I come from is just as effective”. This might not have much significance in and of itself, except that literally just 2 episodes later, in Shootout, Sammy Grovner makes a joke about chicken soup being Jewish penicillin. In addition, Huggy’s reference to his own culture’s cure-all suggests that chicken soup would have been the culturally appropriate first-choice for Starsky. As such, I’ve included a picture of matzo-ball chicken soup in the top left hand corner. 

Also, in The Game, Hutch says in regards to their soup related upbringings that, “we obviously had different mothers” and Starsky says, “yeah, mine was chicken soup, yours was,, clam chowder”, which isn’t really that important except that the show likes to highlight their different cultural upbringings and once again they’re doing so by referencing something that is widely culturally understood to be Jewish, having already explicitly stated it within the show to be so. (I could write a whole dissertation about cultural soup references in Starsky and Hutch, but I’m not going to. Just note that there are a weird amount of them.)

We see in Running that Starsky calls his mother every Friday evening. I think this is really interesting because, if they were both observant orthodox, they wouldn’t be using electricity on Shabbat. I mean, duh, Starsky is Not observantly orthodox but this scene shows that neither is his mother. Any yet, the time they’ve picked to talk each week is on Friday evenings, when many Jewish families come together for Shabbat dinner. As such, I think this shows how Starsky’s Judaism holds a place within his life and his routines, as well as suggesting what tradition he may have been brought up in. I personally headcanon conservative, but Reform works too!

As the fanlore page says, “Starsky looked stunned when Nancy's mother asked him if he were Catholic in 'Terror on the Docks,' to which he replied he was not.” This scene is a really interesting one to watch for this (and, again, was written by Freiberger), and whilst this merely shows that he’s not Catholic, his confusion and bafflement suggests just how surprising this question is to him, and his discomfort is evident as he laughs awkwardly. I think this is an experience many minorities can attest to, and he’s feeling the unease that comes when you’re put under pressure to reveal a part of your identity that may well be not received well. 

In terms of the canon, I think the way in which this is played is so in line with the concept that Starsky is Jewish that it really suggests that this was something in clearly in mind in regards to his characterisation, at least by a number of the people working on the show. 

In terms of headcanons, I like Starsky’s bewilderment here because it seems like he straight up just thought it was obvious that he was Jewish, and so it offers an in-universe explanation for why he never says “I’m Jewish”, rather than the external explanation regarding the fears surrounding creating explicitly clear Jewish characters in the 1970s. 

It is interesting, in universe, that he doesn’t then say, “No, Mrs. Blake, I’m afraid I’m Jewish”, but I think this shows Starsky’s reticence to talk about his background with strangers, despite his comfort proudly talking about blintzes with Hutch and Terry. This is frankly just understandable, given the existence of antisemitism and Mrs Blake’s evangelical Catholicism, and again offers another explanation for why he never says I’m Jewish, wherein everyone he feels comfortable knowing already know, so there’s no need for him to say that. 

(This said, @jimmyandthegiraffes and I headcanon that he just explains everything he doesn’t know with the fact he’s Jewish, even when it’s totally unrelated, *queue Starsky’s sage voice* “Ah see, I wouldn’t know whether those out of date eggs are safe to eat because I’m Jewish.” - Hutch is going to throw something. Also saying he can’t eat something healthy Hutch has made because it’s not kosher, whilst eating something obviously treif, which I made a post about here.)

We also see Starsky’s reticence to talk about his background with antagonistic strangers/suspects in The Committee, “Starsky? What is it, Polish?” “Something like that.” And yet, in Starsky And Hutch Are Guilty we see Starsky talk with Sharon, with whom he obviously feels comfortable with, about his home cooked goulash, “My mother gave me a recipe straight from the old country.” Again, this shows an in universe explanation for why we never see Starsky talk about his background explicitly, as those who he feels comfortable knowing already know.

This line is also interesting as it suggests information about Starsky’s heritage that pretty clearly implies a family with an immigrant background;  this again would be in line with the experience of many Jewish people in the US, particularly when considering Starsky’s roots in New York as many families settled there fleeing pogroms and persecution. I headcanon that Starsky’s father was killed just after his 13th birthday (and his Bar Mitzvah) and moved to Bay City the summer after (this is taking Glaser’s birthday as Starsky’s for consistency).

This would mean Starsky lived in New York 1943-1956. The Jewish population of New York was at its peak in 1950 at 2 million. Still today, New York City is the largest community of Jews in the world within a city proper, including Tel Aviv. I think it perhaps goes without saying that this was and is particularly true in Brooklyn. I’ve seen lots of fics argue about where about in New York Starsky is from (with one claiming New Jersey which was pretty left field). The closest connection to New York that I have is that I grew up on the outskirts of the city it was named after. If you ever want to visit York, it has a lot of chocolate museums and a nice Gothic cathedral and a bad connection with Jewish history. I’m on a tangent. My point is, although I can figure Yorkshire accents, I’m not especially good at figuring out the nuances of New York accents so I leave it up to you lot, and on the whole people tend to suggest that he has a Brooklyn accent. We also know he has swum at Coney Island, and that the sea there tastes better than on the playboy island (Murder on Voodoo Island: part 2).

What we do know is that Starsky grew up on 84th Street (Targets Without A Badge: part 2) although there do seem to be a Lot of 84th streets in New York. We also know that if we are agreeing on Brooklyn then 84th street runs through Bay Ridge, Dyker Heights, and Bensonhurt. I figure Bensonhurst works best because, even though it’s a very Italian neighbourhood now, until the 50s it was a Jewish/Italian neighbourhood, which works with Starsky’s grandmother’s flat above the Italian restaurant (Shootout). It also works with the implications surrounding Starsky’s family and the mob (The Set-Up: part 1) as the Bath Avenue Crew operated in Bensonhurst. The mob thing is also interesting when considering Starsky’s Jewish heritage. There’s a painted Bensonhurst shop front in the bottom middle of the mood board which has been kept the same since the 1950s when Starsky could have been living there!

This has all been largely (or wholly) tangential, but essentially my point is that what we know of Starsky’s heritage chimes pretty neatly with the experience of many Jewish Americans, which again ties in with the argument that Starsky’s Judaism was something held in mind by those involved in the creation of the show. 

Another thing I found interesting was in an article I was reading about Paul Simon, born less than two years before Glaser. In regard to Simon, Donald Fagen says, “There’s a certain kind of New York Jew, [...] almost a stereotype, really, to whom music and baseball are very important. I think it has to do with the parents. The parents are either immigrants or first-generation Americans who felt like outsiders, and assimilation was the key thought — they gravitated to black music and baseball looking for an alternative culture.” Simon responded to say that this wasn't too far from the truth. Obviously, Starsky enjoying baseball does not at all mean anything about him being Jewish, but it does fit in with his Jewish New York upbringing, from his father taking him to see the Yankees and him collecting baseball cards (Vendetta), to his enthusiasm with Pete (Little Girl Lost). 

It is worth noting how this enthusiasm for baseball seems to be something that Starsky engages in far more than Hutch, which is interesting given Soul's history with the sport. (I feel like they definitely could have done more with the fact that David Soul was a good enough player to be offered a contract with the Chicago White Sox). Perhaps this wasn't pursued because a passion for baseball was thought to be more in line with Starsky's upbringing, versus Hutch's Sea Scouts. Again, this maybe suggests a certain narrative held in mind regarding Starsky’s background and how it influenced his characterisation.

Curiously, any Yiddish on the show is typically said by Hutch rather than by Starsky. In Vendetta, Hutch says to Artie Sorkin, “Fagin, faigeleh. What’s the differences? You’re vermin.” Faigeleh meaning homosexual. Also, as the canon compendium notes, “Hutch calls his houseplant ‘Meschugah Mantherlus.’” ‘Meschugah’ means crazy in Yiddish.  “‘Mantherlus’ doesn’t translate as anything but is probably an inside joke and supposed to sound Latin.” (Ballad for a Blue Lady, co-written by Glaser.) 

Largely I just found this interesting, but I did read a really cool study talking about the use of Yiddish in the American vernacular and one of its many findings was that gentiles with close Jewish friends were, unsurprisingly, more likely to use more Yiddish terminology. Also, unrelated but super fascinating, LGBT+ people were more likely to use Yiddish too.

On the Jewish immigrant experience, in Partners Starsky tries to get Hutch to play Pinochle with him, claiming "you love Pinochle", suggesting this is a game they frequently play together. Pinochle used to be a favourite card game of Jewish and Irish immigrants. I get that at this point I'm probably clasping at straws but I'm going for as comprehensive as possible, and I think it creates a good story about Starsky playing it with his family and later teaching it to Hutch.

It is interesting how Hutch is possibly shown to be engaging with Jewish culture in regard to both his use of Yiddish and his love of Pinochle. This may well be because Jewish culture permeates American society, after all it's Soul we see say the Yiddish "putz" in the bloopers. But it is slightly interesting that these were lines given to Hutch, perhaps for plot purposes, or because the writers were choosing to include their own culture and ways of speaking in a way that is safer through the evidently gentile Soul rather than the conspicuously Jewish Glaser. 

There are other instances of Judaism in Starsky and Hutch that aren’t necessarily pointing to Starsky being Jewish but that are notable. Huggy Bear and the Turkey starts with Starsky and Hutch undercover in Caplan Laundry, where Hutch seems to be undercover as an orthodox Jewish man (and Starsky his wife? Seemingly? They certainly uh, go for it in the bloopers). 

Caplan/Kaplan is a surname found in a number of cultures but it is a common Ashkenazim surname which also makes me headcanon Officer Minnie Kaplan as Jewish because we all want more Jewish headcanons in our lives and I think it puts her friendship with Starsky in an interesting context. (Marki Bey more like Marki Bae)

Again, it's Hutch we see taking on the more visibly Jewish role, although this does not go to negate Starsky's own Jewishness, as this may well be understood to be his influence on the friend he spends significantly more than 75% of his time with. Also, it can be assumed that Starsky is undercover as a Jewish woman as he appears to work at the launderette. 

Obviously A Body Worth Guarding is the episode that deals most with Judaism as the Jewish protesters are a central plot feature. It’s interesting that Starsky’s involvement with them is largely hostile, however, I think this is more to do with the circumstances. At first he believes they’ve hired muscle to hurt Anna so he goes in hard which means the Jewish Organisation for Action respond with a more hostile approach. And yet, he’s completely on-board with dropping the JOA lead and following the fascist one as a result of Kauffman’s logic that attacking Anna would only lead to more antisemitism, which despite being a sound argument had no actual evidence to support it. From this point Kauffman is still resistant to working with Starsky which means Starsky maybe is more heavy handed in his approach, but it is on order to get Kauffman to help him follow the fascist lead. Once the job has been done he seems a lot softer towards the JOA and genuinely thankful for their help.

Essentially, the episode is noteworthy but Starsky’s reaction to the JOA tells us not so much about his own personal beliefs and upbringing and more about how he approaches his job. I do think it interesting that he believes Kauffman’s logic and subsequently drops all suspicion of the JOA and instead trusts him enough to bring him in as help.

Also Huggy calls the JOA the “desert people” which might just be Huggy’s turn of phrase but I think it feels more comfortable if Starsky is Jewish as it’s more like banter between friends then.

In spite of all these very purposeful allusions and references to Starsky’s Judaism, in Savage Sunday he complains about having to work on a Sunday, the Christian sabbath instead of Judaism’s Shabbat. And yet, I don’t believe this undermines Starsky’s Jewish presentation as it seems that his complaints are more that he expects to have Sunday off because he is in a Christian society which usually allows him a break on a Sunday to which he can look forward to. When he’s complaining about working on a Saturday in Jojo (written by Mann), Hutch says, “Could be worse, could be Sunday”, to which Starsky replies, “Come on, Saturday’s bad enough”, bemoaning all the sports that he could be watching instead. 

This is interesting too as you could easily use this to headcanon him using sport as an excuse to express his frustrations at having to work on Shabbat, especially as it’s Hutch who says, “Could be worse, could be Sunday.”

Note: It was mentioned on the fanlore page that Huggy gives Starsky a wreath of garlic ‘for those of other persuasions’, but, as far as I can tell, the garlic is to ward off vampires of “all the rest of the denominations” when the cross for “any vampire of Christian persuasion” won’t be of help, rather than the garlic being for non-Christian vampire hunters. As always, I’m loving Huggy’s enterprising approach to religion, making sure he covers all bases, but it’s not really a suggestion that Starsky is Jewish, just that he needs to protect himself from non-Christian vampires.

In the same vein, Huggy does say “Shalom” to Starksy (and to Hutch) in Dandruff, though this seems to be more as an aspect of his undercover role as Prince Nairobi.

Essentially, Starsky is frequently presented as engaging with Jewish culture, practices, and traditions, often very visibly so. Aside from the very explicitly Jewish references, Starsky is very frequently characterised in a way that suggests his being Jewish was held in mind, on a writing level, an acting level, a direction level, and a production level. As I mentioned earlier, American society in imbued with Jewish culture and so many of these things may have been purely incidental. However, coupled with the more explicit examples of Starsky's Judaism they may be said to take on greater purpose and subsequent significance. Pretty much across the board, he is understood to be Jewish and whilst these references maybe subtle enough to pass by those not engaged with Judaism or considering it a possibility, this does not preclude Starsky’s Judaism from being a very knowing and explicit inclusion, and therefore canon.

Given all this, I have some headcanons about to what extent Starsky is practising! 

We canonically know he doesn’t keep kosher – I mean this boy eats linguine with clams. I have read a fic where Hutch is forbidden from telling Starsky’s ma that he eats bacon or meat with dairy and I really like this as a headcanon. I definitely think she Knows but she lets Starsky pretend he doesn’t because it keeps him happy.

We also know neither he nor his mother have qualms about not being shomer Shabbos, but as I mentioned earlier, we Do see them using Friday evenings as the time they choose to call one another.

We know he doesn’t wear a kippah on the regular, too. And he never says the Sh’ma out loud if he thinks he’s about to die, although I do think he probably says it to himself. Again, I think I’ve read a fic about that. As I reread the ones I have bookmarked I’ll add them in if I can find them.

Other than these examples, pretty much everything else as far as I can tell is fair game, particularly if you’re considering along the lines of Reform, or even conservative, depending on the community. I know a lot of Jewish people who would consider themselves to be actively practicing who don’t keep kosher or who work on a Saturday etc.

About that, as I mentioned above, we know he does sometimes work on a Saturday (and he complains about it). This suggests that he doesn’t necessarily frequent synagogue regularly, particularly as he was frustrated about missing the sport he likes to watch on a Saturday.

However, for one thing, this doesn’t mean he Never goes to temple, and for another, we do know that Starsky very likely celebrates Chanukkah, due to his Chanukkiah. Chanukkah is a relatively minor Jewish holiday and so if he celebrates this it’s likely he also celebrates other, more significant holidays, and high holy days. Maybe he doesn’t go to shul every week, but a synagogue on Yom Kippur is generally full of people who are not regular attenders.

Please imagine this boy trying to fast I bet Hutch would be glad as hell that Starsky isn’t at work lol.

Personally, I tend to headcanon that Starsky moves to greater observance post Sweet Revenge. I think the hospital rabbi is good at playing Pinochle and the two become friends and they have good philosophical debates and Hutch joins in and after Starsky is discharged they want to see the rabbi so they start regularly attending shul and they both find something they can get out of it, especially as I headcanon that they retire from the force I think it gives them a community. For Starsky, I think it gives him a connection to his heritage and his family and maybe his father in particular, as well as a focus on social justice work through the synagogue so that he and Hutch can still feel like they’re making a difference. Tbh, I think that Hutch might find a lot to connect to in Judaism, maybe in the way it’s focused on making a difference in the here and now and not in order to access some afterlife. To be clear, I don’t think that’s necessarily the angle Christianity takes but I think it is how Hutch might perceive it and I think he might find Judaism more grounding in that respect. Also, if he converts then Starsky’s ma would be thrilled that if he hasn’t found a nice Jewish girl then at least he’s found a nice Jewish boy and Starsky will tease that Hutch’s hair is so long he might as well be a girl. I think it would create a really interesting relationship between Starsky’s ma and Hutch where they talk about Judaism and she introduces him to recipes and books and stuff and later Hutch is showing Starsky and he’s like, how come Ma never showed me?! And Hutch is like, she tried to idiot you just got distracted. And they can just, explore stuff together. It’s really soft.

Also, I think they host Shabbat dinners every Friday and it’s really cool because it’s a way that they can stay in touch with the Dobeys after they’ve left the force, and how they can stay close with Huggy when they’re not visiting for tips every other day. Also Kiko and Pete can come and then stay the night and spend Saturday with them maybe to give Mrs. Ramos a break. Minnie can come too and say the prayers!! Plus Paco Ortega and Joey and tbh any number of the other kids they’ve accidentally adopted over the years.

Pesach at theirs is just, the fullest house you can possibly imagine I love it. @jimmyandthegiraffes came up with the idea that there isn’t space for Dobey and the boys are like, oh you’re sat on the counter and he’s like? But there’s an empty chair and place set out here?? And he goes to sit down and everyone is like, nOOoO that’s for Elijah!! You cAnt sIT in Elijah’S plaCe?!

Gosh I love them

Starsky high key calls the new year “secular Rosh Hashanah”

Even though I personally headcanon a greater observance after sweet revenge, there really is nothing at all to say he isn’t at least somewhat practising over the course of the series and even that he is, given the Chanukkiah and what that means about holidays. I like how he keeps it up year round to maybe keep in mind his faith/upbringing/background.

I think it’s interesting that many of the fics that engage with Starsky as Jewish often suggest that he’s not religious, which is of course completely possible. However, just because he doesn’t ever talk about a faith in God doesn’t mean it isn’t present, especially when faith is often something so private and proselytising isn’t a part of Judaism. Personally I think that Starsky does have faith in God throughout the series and after, and this does impact his relationship with Judaism prior to Sweet Revenge as he considers things like the mezuzah and engages with Jewish culture, but that it’s after Sweet Revenge that he starts engaging with his faith more as connected to Judaism and religious traditions, rather than I’m going to celebrate my culture and upbringing and also I have a faith in God. He sees the two as more connected perhaps? and his faith as having a more direct impact on his life.

I really like how Huggy says the thing about the chicken soup too, and the “desert people” line is made a lot sweeter by thinking of him as a cool supportive friend who Starsky has known for a long time and who typically engages with Judaism specifically because it means something to Starsky.

I seemingly have a lot of thoughts on this.

Also, I really like how he calls him blintz, weird Freudian implications aside, especially because blintzes can be eaten at any time but are typically associated with Shavuot and I like the idea that Starsky has really a really fond association with his religion but also with Hutch. I really like the idea that if Hutch converts then the two can stay up all night together, eating blintzes and cheese and Hutch can maybe read aloud for my dyslexic boy.

Essentially, I just really love thinking about this and I think there’s more space for an actively practising Starsky than there’s generally understood to be, religious or not, even over the course of the show. Especially if you consider Reform Judaism. But tbh just give me Jewish!Starsky fics and I’m happy whatever they’re like.

I’ve worked really hard to find each scene I’ve mentioned on my DVDs (this post has taken me literally So Long to write (9 months-ish? it’s my Child) and I’ve researched it far Far more than I do my uni assignments whoops), so you can be sure I’ve checked to make sure each reference is legitimate. If you want to see screenshots of these quotations, or you want to know whereabouts in the episodes they occur, then message me! If you have additional examples or you disagree with me or if you’ve spotted a mistake then share that too!

With all my thanks to my partner Chester who’s put up with me banging on about this and spending Hours and Hours being ridiculously pedantic in the hopes of creating as coherent a resource as I can. They’ve also contributed so much and just they’re rad. I also cannot thank enough the canon compendium for helping me fill in all the blanks and pointing me in all the directions I needed to go in, I Genuinely cannot think of a better fandom resource. Also the first 3 seasons scripts are available here which is a huge help.

tldr; Starsky is irrefutably, canonically Jewish and also I love him 

[jengis-morrangis]

Separated at Birth

This took me waay too long to make. I decided to take my own spin on the separated at birth story. Like I said in the previous post, I’ve got a few other ideas coming down the pike so stay tuned. Enjoy!

P.S. The Starship Troopers movie sux!

Mabel bounced her legs against the park bench where she sat, crunching snow beneath her winter boots as she waited anxiously. She shook slightly at a cold gust of wind and tucked herself deeper into her sweater.

She was waiting on a bench outside a study hall on the University of Oregon campus, holding a manilla folder tightly to her chest. Again she opened the folder and reread the description for the twentieth time in the last hour, even though she had memorized the entire thing: five-ten, brown hair, birthmark on forehead, and a few other details.

Soon a group of a dozen students began emptying out of the classroom hall. Some walked off to their own devices and some chatted in groups as they got out, but none matched the description so far. Suddenly she spotted a man walking out with his hands tucked into his sweater and steamy breath billowing through his scarf. He had a blue backpack on and was walking tall with his shoulders back. She stood up from the bench and approached him.

“Hi there.” She said, trying to hold back her hopeful excitement. He stopped and looked down at her. “Are you Frederick Ottinger?”

He paused for a moment, quickly looking her up and down. He pulled his scarf down and spoke. “Yes, that’s me.” He said casually. Mabel squealed in delight, hopping up and down before lunging forward and wrapping him in a tight hug. He didn’t hug her back, instead he tensed up and held his arms out awkwardly to his sides. “I’m sorry, but do I know you?” He asked.

Mabel let go and backed away, suddenly feeling bashful. “No, no you wouldn’t remember me.” She said, much quieter. She perked up as she remembered the folder in her hands. “I’m your twin sister, Mabel!” She said enthusiastically.

He didn’t say anything at first, frowning in confusion. “What?” He asked after a moment of pause. “How can that be?”

Mabel held out her arms, presenting him the manilla folder. He looked down at the folder, then back to her eyes, then back to the folder before tentatively taking it from her hands and opening it. His facial expression changed every few seconds as he read through its contents. “When we were born, a nurse immediately took you away and sold you to human traffickers. They told our parents that you had suffocated to death.” She said as he continued reading. “When law enforcement found out what happened and the nurse was arrested several months ago, we hired a personal investigator to track you down.”

He was silent for a while. He was still reading, only now he seemed completely shocked. His Adam’s apple bobbed and he didn’t seem to be breathing. “Th-this is crazy!” He said with a shaky voice. He looked at his watch and back to Mabel. “Look, I’ve really got to be somewhere soon, but I really want to talk about this.” He said genuinely. “Maybe over dinner?”

Mabel smiled. “I would like that.”

===

===

“I can’t believe this.” Fred said distantly as he reread the folder. Mabel sat across the table from him in the small booth of the restaurant they decided on. It was a small hole-in-the-wall pizza place that seemed comfy enough. They sat down and ordered food before she gave the folder to Fred, allowing him to read it again.

Mabel took another bite of her cheese pizza as he placed the folder on the table and rubbed his temples. He let out a stressed sigh and looked up at Mabel. This was clearly a life changing discovery for him, and even though he was clearly stressed, he was also trying to keep calm and figure the situation out.

“So… what’s your story?” Mabel asked tentatively.

“My story?” Fred asked.

“Yeah, catch me up to speed.” Mabel was hesitant to ask. Even the best case scenario after being sold into human trafficking couldn’t have been too good.

He waited for a moment, deep in thought. “Well,” He began slowly. “I don’t remember the people who originally took me from…” He paused. “Our parents.” He said, gesturing between himself and Mabel. “My earliest memories were probably around three years old, when I was growing up in an orphanage in Oregon.” He looked down at the table glumly. “Rough times in there.” He paused for a moment, and Mabel felt a ping of regret for asking. He seemed so pained by it, and judging by her first impressions of him, he seem good at containing his more intense emotions.

He realized how long he had been silent when he looked up and made eye contact with her. He quickly sat up straight and wiped the look from his face. “Anyway, I was adopted by a family when I was seven. I was confused at first when you said my last name was Ottinger, ‘cause that’s what it was originally before I was adopted, when it became ‘Corduroy.’”

“Corduroy? Wait, your last name is Corduroy?” Mabel interrupted, and Fred seemed surprised by her reaction.

Fred nodded cautiously. “Yeah, is there something wrong with that?”

Mabel shook her head. “No, not at all. But did you happen to have a sister named Wendy? She was a redhead. She had a bunch of brothers. Always wore flannel.”

He frowned. “Yeah, I did. How did you know that?”

“I hung out with her all the time! This is so cool! How did I never see you before?”

“Hold on, you’ve been to Gravity Falls?”

“You bet I have! I went there every summer since I was twelve! I stayed with my great uncle Stan. Oh my gosh, it was the coolest place on earth, with all the weird junk that went on there.”

He seemed taken aback by this new fact. “Wow. Yeah I usually went to work with my uncle Steve at his logging camp in upstate Oregon over the summer. I do know Stan. The ‘Man of Mystery.’ Seemed pretty neat. Kinda weird to think I’m related to him. My sister worked at his shop.”

Mabel was amazed. “Woah, what a small wor— wait a minute. Your dad made you work at a logging camp over the summer?” She interrupted herself.

Fred shrugged. “Eh, I think he did it to toughen me up. I was a pretty wimpy kid by Corduroy standards. It was all in love, though.” He pulled out his wallet that contained a family picture of he and his siblings. His brothers and sister were all smiling together, one next to the other while he stuck out due to his differing hair color and noticeable size difference. He handed the wallet to Mabel, who looked at it with adoration.

“Aww, that’s so cute!” She exclaimed. She looked up and down from the picture of the small, skinny boy to the grown, filled out man in front of her.

“Yep! Never enough children for the Corduroy family.” Said Fred.

“How cool is all of this? Our entire lives we’ve been almost crossing paths and never knew it?” She shook her head in amazement and handed his wallet back. “So how did you end up here in Eugene?”

He snapped out of a similar daze to Mabel. “Right, well once I graduated high school I joined the navy for two years and served as an engineer on a destroyer. I got out a year ago. Now here I am, going to college.”

“Wow! This is soo cool!” Mabel whispered in amazement. “Frederick Corduroy…”

“Please, call me Dipper.” He said, pulling up his hair to reveal a constellation shaped birthmark.

Laughing as they walked out the restaurant, Dipper held out his arm that Mabel linked with hers before they strolled down the street, talking as they enjoyed each other’s warmth. “So where to now?” Asked Mabel.

“Well, there’s a movie theater nearby, a park. Uh, hmm let me think.” Dipper stroked his chin as he pondered. “Well there’s also a mini-golf course down the street. Hmm, but it’s probably too cold for that.”

“Are you kidding me?” Mabel yelled in excitement. “I’m totes down for some mini-golf! Let’s boogie!” She shouted while tugging him along. “Prepare to get schooled, chum!”

===

===

“Mabel Pines lines up her shot. This old timer from Piedmont, California is infamous for her skill in mini-golf. She is a champion of golfing competitions all around California, and from the looks of it, this windmill doesn’t stand a chance.” Mabel narrated herself. “She lines up what looks to be a solid fourteen footer,” She brought back the putter and tapped the ball. “She takes the shot, she scores!” She shouted as the ball maneuvered around the obstacle and dropped into the hole, before making a fake cheering sound as she waved her arms through the air.

“Impressive!” Dipper admitted. “You seem to really know your way around a putter.”

“You bet your bottom drawer, buster! I’ve been doing this since I could make a fist with my ravioli-sized hand, and from tonight’s performance, you better pick up the pace if you ever wanna come close to beating me.” Mabel bantered.

“I think I can get there one day.” He said before tapping the ball on the same windmill, only for it to hit one of the barrier walls and roll back towards him until it was five feet behind the starting position. He looked up at Mabel and shrugged. “Maybe.” He said flatly before they both burst into laughter.

They moved onto the next obstacle, which Mabel surpassed with ease. “Man, you must have done this with your friends all the time growing up.” Dipper commented with amazement at how nothing could truly stand in her way.

Mabel’s shoulder slumped slightly at his words. “Mmm, not really.” She said deflated. “I didn’t have a lot of friends growing up. Most people just wrote me off as ‘weird.’” She said bitterly. She forced herself to look down. She didn’t know why she just said that. She got too comfortable around Dipper. She got too comfortable and now he knows one of her deepest, most personal insecurities. He can put two and two together to realize from her previous behavior from the moment she first hugged him that she was just a spazzy social outcast.

She saw Dipper glance at her out of the corner of her eye, but he didn’t say anything. She knew he was reading her, examining her body language. She suddenly felt very exposed. A churning feeling in her stomach grew as she froze and felt her cheeks heat, despite the cold. She didn’t want to show any signs of weakness or emotional distress. The last thing she needed was his pity.

She didn’t realize she hadn’t moved until Dipper intruded on her thoughts. “Hey Mabel,” He said gently. Mabel pried her eyes away from the golf ball on the ground and forced herself to meet his eyes. She expected to find him looking at her with pity, what she saw instead shocked her. He was looking at her with an expression of total understanding. Empathy. “I get it, Mabel.” He said in a way that, paired with the look he gave her, made her insides twist in an entirely different way. It wasn’t what she was feeling a minute ago, instead more similar to that of butterflies. It helped to calm her, and in that split second she realized just how caring her brother turned out to be.

“I’m sorry.” She said in almost a whisper.

“It’s alright, Mabel. You didn’t do anything wrong.” He assured her. They stood there for a moment, the silence of the night penetrated only by a passing gust of chilling wind and the distant talk of other golfers. She surprised even herself with a sad sniffle. One that she isn’t unfamiliar with, and Dipper came to her in an instant. Wrapping her in a hug so warm and safe in contrast to the air around them that she pulled him closer, tighter. He gently stroked her hair and let her cry into his shoulder.

“I-I’m just s-so glad I’ve finally found you.” She sobbed. “It’s been so l-lonely, growing up by m-myself.”

“I know, Mabel. I know.” He whispered. Mabel was so happy to hold him, to finally have someone in her life who would stick up for her and stand by her side for support.

“I always wondered what it would have been like if you had survived. How different our lives would have been if we’d grown up together.”

Dipper chuckled slightly at that. “Heh, we probably would have been close.” Mabel tightened her lip in a smile as more tears streamed down her face. She squeezed Dipper a little harder.

Once Mabel had stopped crying, they pulled away and found comfort in each other’s smile. “I think we’ve had enough mini golf for tonight.” Said Dipper. “You ready to go?” Mabel nodded.

They arrived at the counter of the quartermaster and returned the equipment to the young woman stationed there. As she was checking in the putters, she kept stealing glances at the two of them, but said nothing. It was when she handed them the receipt that she said,  “You two make a very cute couple.” She said it kindly, but Mabel immediately felt herself blush and get even redder than from the cold.

“Oh, we’re not—”

“Oh, we’re not—” They interrupted each other.

“Together.”

“Together.” They both finished, laughing heartily at their tandem speaking. The young woman nodded bashfully and stowed the equipment. The twins walked off, arm in arm as they strode down the street, chatting away about anything and everything. All the years they missed, all the moments they never shared. Hours seemed to pass in an instant when they arrived at Mabel’s apartment. Dipper walked her to the door.

“Tonight was nice. I had a lot of fun.” Dipper said with a lopsided smile.

“Me too.” Mabel returned the smile.

There was a beat of silence between the two of them.

“Could I see you again sometime?” Dipper asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh, right!” Mabel said after she realized she had been silently staring at his chestnut eyes. “Yeah, that would be awesome! I’d love to hang out again.”

Dipper smiled before bringing her in close for a hug.

“Take care, Mabel.” Dipper said as he walked back to the sidewalk.

“You too, Dipper.” She replied. They waved goodbye and Dipper started to walk down the sidewalk. Mabel watched him for as long as possible until he disappeared down the street. She made her way to her room and suddenly found herself in her bed wearing her pajamas. She had a lot on her mind. Time seemed to flash by. She laid her head on her pillow, feeling calm and subdued.

For a few minutes she didn’t want to sleep. She just wanted to bask in the happiness of today. The fact that her twin brother is alive. The fact that he is so kind and sweet. The fact that they get along so well they are already finishing each other’s sentences. She giggled a bit at that last thought. She thought about how much she wished she could date a man like Dipper; he was sweet, handsome, and completely adorkable. But that was another thought for another day. She picked up her phone from the nightstand next to her bed and dialed a familiar number. She waited excitedly as it rang a few times until an answer came from the other end.

“Hey mom. I found him!”

===

===

Eventually they decided it was time for Dipper to meet their parents. They made the trip to Piedmont one day, arriving outside the house as he nervously prepared himself and Mabel reassured him. It was a whole new flood of emotions upon meeting his parents for the first time. More so for their parents. Dipper didn’t remember them at all and had no real emotional connection to them, but he understood the magnitude of the moment and was still delighted to meet his biological parents.

They met up several more times after the visit to their parents. Anytime they had no classes or other obligations. They did anything from a trip to the bowling alley or mini-golf, to Dipper leading a game of DD&MD. Dipper told Mabel all about his interactions with the supernatural and taught her how to make coded messages, while Mabel told Dipper more about their parents and family and taught him how to knit and make sweaters.

They had a lot to catch up on after two decades of not knowing each other. Their lives had played out so differently in so many ways. But Mabel could tell they’re interactions were different from how she had known other siblings to act. In a way it was a lot closer in their own unique way. She didn’t think much of it; she loved to see him and after all this time, rightfully so. She loved just about everything about him. The feeling of his warmth when they hugged, holding his hand and running her thumb across his wide knuckles, looking into his eyes and admiring just how handsome he was.

There were a few times that she had to pry her eyes away from him after she realized she had been staring too long, and realizing where she had been staring. His eyes were a sight to beheld. They were a mirror of her own, but there was something so intense in them. Everytime he looked at her there was some sort of spark in them that made her heart flutter in an odd way she couldn’t quite put words to. Weird, huh?

Tonight they decided to watch a movie together at Dipper’s small apartment off campus. It wasn’t the first time they decided to. They usually went back to his apartment after a night out to watch a movie or cook dinner, only to fall asleep on the couch together. They were laying down, snuggled closely together with Mabel resting her head on Dipper’s chest with her arms wrapped around his body and he rested his arms on her back as they watched the movie.

“Come on you apes! Do you wanna live forever?” Shouted the soldier on screen as he and other soldiers ran out into a hallway and onto smaller spaceships. As they zoomed off towards the surface of a nearby planet, text came up on the screen that read:

They’ll keep fighting

And they’ll win!

The credits rolled soon after that, and Mabel cheered. “Yeah! Go humans! Get those stinky bugs!”

Dipper blew a raspberry and rolled his eyes. “Man, this movie always gets on my nerves.” He said annoyed. “The director didn’t even read the book! And yet he wants to make a satirical movie of it?” He shook his head dramatically. “Heinlein must be rolling in his grave.”

“Yeah whatever, mister party pooper.” Said Mabel as she playfully jabbed him in the chest, before cuddling up closer to him. “If you’re so smart, why don’t you make a better one?” She asked rhetorically.

He frowned as if in deep thought for a few seconds before puffing up his chest exaggeratedly. “Maybe I will…” He said with a sly grin.

Mabel giggled at his enthusiasm. “You’re so silly.”

“What? You don’t think I will?” He asked with faux offense. “I’ll show you. I’ll show everyone!” He jabbed her in the sides, causing her to flinch. He continued to tickle her and she giggled in response. She tried to counter him—grabbing at his hands, jabbing at his sides, tickling his stomach and chest. She started to gain the advantage and Dipper was on the defensive. He howled as she began to overwhelm him. They fell to the floor, Dipper on top of her, both in a fit of laughter as pressed their foreheads together.

A nonverbal ceasefire was declared as they caught their breathe, heaving air to slow their rapidly beating hearts. Mabel looked him in the eyes again. There was something different about them. A spark, that wasn’t new, but had been growing every time he looked at her. It was there from the very beginning, but now it was so warm and inviting. They slowly moved closer to one another, and she could feel his warm breath on her. Their lips brushed against each other, until they came together for a kiss.

They melted into each other. Exploring each other’s mouths as their hands roamed each other’s bodies and combed through each other’s hair. One of Dipper’s hands found itself under her t-shirt, gently kneading her soft breast. She felt such ecstasy from his warmth. She could feel his excitement through his shorts as he pressed into her hips while she wrapped her legs around his waist. They soon broke apart, gasping for air as they gazed into each other’s eyes. Everything about this moment made butterflies flutter in her stomach. She wanted more.

At that thought, she bolted upright as an alarm sounded in her head. She started to quickly scoot away from Dipper as he stood up on his knees and reached his arms out, saying something Mabel couldn’t process in an attempt to get her to keep calm. Her eyes were open wide with terror, staring at him from only a few feet away. Every time she scooted scooted away, he scooted forward in trying to close the space between them. Voices chided her as she tried to figure out what was happening.

‘Uh Mabes, this is your brother. Y’know, like blood related! Like, long lost twin bro, who you shouldn’t be macking faces with!’ She didn’t realize she was hyperventilating until Dipper snapped her out of her shock.

“Mabel… don’t freak out here, alright?” He said cautiously.

“Wha-whadya mea- what?” Mabel stuttered. “What do you mean ‘don’t freak out’, do you realize what just happened? What we just did?”

“Mabel please, just listen to be before you jump to conclusions.”

“Jump to conclusions? What does that even mean? This is pretty straightforward!” Mabel couldn't control her voice from rising. He scooted a knee forward and reached out for her hands. “No, don’t come any closer!” She shouted, and he flinched and drew back like he had been burned. He sat down on his knees, looking at the floor. Mabel felt guilt growing in her stomach. She didn’t want to hurt him, she was just afraid. “I’m sorry, Dip. I don’t mean to be cruel, I’m just not sure what this means.” She brought her knees to her chest. “And I’m scared.” She mumbled into her pajama pants.

Dipper was scratching the back of his neck anxiously. He looked up and made eye contact with her for a split second before darting his gaze to the floor. “Can I just… talk?” He asked nervously.

Mabel gave him a frightened and uncertain look, afraid of what he might say, but she willed herself to nod-- she at least wanted to let him say what he has to say before she has another outburst. He took a deep breath before sitting down flat on the floor and crossing his legs as he leaned his back on the couch.

“When I was younger, I really looked up to my siblings. Especially Wendy.” He emphasised. “In more ways than I should’ve…” The way he said that made her look up at him to see his expression, only to find him looking back at her with a look of sorrow. “I was…” He gulped. “Not so platonically attracted to her.” Mabel felt her grip tighten on her pajamas.

“She was just so… wonderful. I truly felt something great for her. Maybe even loved her…” He paused for a moment and shook away the faraway look in his eyes. “My family eventually found out and my mother gave me a talk.” He looked down at the floor again. “I was heartbroken when I had to come to terms with the fact that I had to give up what I felt for her. I realized just how truly impossible it was. But you Mabel, I’ve never felt so connected with anyone than I have with you. And I don’t want to throw that all away out of fear of what others will think.”

Mabel couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She certainly felt conflicted, but all the little voices of logic in her mind were screaming at her that the answer was obvious. “Dip, I really want to agree with you right now, but I just can’t— can’t…” She didn’t want to finish that sentence. “I mean, what would our parents think? What would your family think?”

Dipper scowled in contemplation. It was clearly something he hadn’t quite thought of. “Our families will want what we think is best for us.” He said firmly after a moment of thinking. Mabel didn’t respond. It was almost a minute before he spoke again. “But I think the better question would be whether or not it’s what you want.”

Mabel hesitated. “I dunno, Dip.” She said nervously. She could feel her throat tightening as she spoke. “This is a lot to take in and— I mean I really just met you and I really don’t want to mess up what we have because I like— really care about you and— and…” She dropped her head into her hands and choked on her words. She felt Dipper’s hand rest on her shoulder.

“I get it, Mabes. I feel the same thing.” He said as he scooted closer to her. “I don’t want to lose what we have, but at the same time I feel like there’s more to us than just… this.” He gestured between them.

He moved his palm to cup her cheek. Mabel steadied herself and nuzzled into the comfort of his hand. She looked up to see him looking at her with that spark in his eyes. It amazed her, even now.

“I’m not entirely sure what the future holds. I don’t have all the answers, but I know that what I feel for you is genuine. And our families would want what we feel is best for us, and we should want what’s best for us.”

He moved his hand from her cheek and wrapped his arm around her back. He pulled her close to his side and kissed her on her forehead. She felt the butterflies fluttering in her stomach finally conquer the twisting in her gut.

“Okay.” She said with a bit more confidence. “I trust you.”

As she leaned up to kiss him, she knew she was making the right choice.

[argylemikewheeler]

i watched the st3 trailer again and wrote all my (incoherent) thoughts:

starting off boldly with a motley crue song??? i want to know which one of them has that tape. is it dustin? because i now explicitly need to know every single one of the Party’s tape collection details. duffers, fess up. who loves metal.

also from Theatre of Pain? Smokin in the Boys Room. Which is a song I need to know the Party listens to.. especially our Bitchin’ El.

SICK ghostbusters certificate (?) Dustin. You are the true MVGB (most valuable ghost buster)

Is that mf farrah fawcett spray???? literally gonna knock ‘em dead i guess

Max, honey, you look great. Lucas, dear, amazing, Will, lovey, get a haircut but also keep it up you look healthy. Mike, please go out in the sun. El, Jane, my honey dearest, I love YOU. I love her having fun with her powers.

Mike and El are holding hands and that’s actually really sweet. And they’re matching?? Wait, so are Lucas and Max. Oh, wow I’m Hurting.

Baba O'Riley hurts me a lot and I have a LOT to say about it.

First thing is I hate that they matched “field” with then in a fucking field. but whatever.

Okay, I’m being Extra on purpose now and literally taking Extra Note of things that aren’t important BUT: the formation climbing the hill IS: Dustin in front leading, Lucas and Max side by side, Will, and ElandMike holding hands. Well that’s like. Very painful. Very much so.

Also idc they’re holding hands but they aren’t helping carry anything and then aren’t shown lifting their antenna. one of you has other worldly powers and just blasted a crue song to surprise someone. you can lift something, babes.

NANCY BABY YOU LOOK AMAZING. also this shot is very familiar of hospital ones from s1 i feel like? but maybe it’s just because they’re in chairs. but either way. I love how much nancy stands out. jonathan is the same color scheme of the office and she is bright ass lilac. amazing baby amazing.

hey dacre.

hopper looking all miami vice for this date? iconic. he shows UP for his woman... who ever she is--

Joyce. baby. hi you look amazing too. i hope she’s okay and someone eats with her, not just like. as an obvious jopper ploy but because she deserves company as she goes through such a hard time. i hope we see her grieve correctly.

MIKE IN FRONT OF THE BYERS HOUSE: oh this fucked me up. it’s empty and he’s standing behind to stare at its skeleton? with the words “we aren’t kids anymore”? Like, its a loss of resilience? invisible childhood is over and now they’re adults. they can be harmed. they can die as they saw last fall. and joyce has to run their family out of town while she can to protect will before his ended childhood has adult consequences.

god, mike really is going to lose his best friend (and that angle turn is really familiar too, someone help me figure it out BUT)... i’m hurt. his best friend is going to move right before high school and he gets to spend the entire summer knowing it. that’s BRUTAL.

MAX AND EL FRIENDSHIP OH YEAH BABY. This friendship screams holding hands while their wrists have complementary colored scrunchies. love it. next.

the pictures. crying in castle byers. i know the voice over probably doesn’t match up to this scene (bc trailers and suspense) and mike is probably talking to someone else, but it still hurts to even humor the breaking of their relationship like this. [i’d be eager to pair up this editing to the actual season later and see where they shuffled everything but anyway]

i can’t imagine will even overhearing it. he’s about to move and lose his three best friends, the ones who know why he is how he is and he’s absolutely gutted. sitting in the safe space he made the night his dad left except now he’s the one that’s leaving everyone behind.

I warned you. don’t put the words “teenage wasteland” over will crying! he’s not even a proper teenager-- but he feels like his teenage years are gonna be a fucking WASTE. wow if that is’t a gay experience idk what is.

sad dustin a second ago? show him with steve having a real big brother because that’s what it’s all about. unconditional love from chosen family baby.

hopper with a big speech? oh sounds like me crying in the second to last episode. also, can that scene really be to joyce pls? it’s either cut really nicely where the backgrounds match super well or they really gave us that Content.

i’m not a topography gay but wtf is this beach coming from

i have... separate thoughts about billy maybe being “evil” that must wait.

kick. ass. montage. baby. el leading the charge!

is that... erica?

are they gonna have every outfit of el’s match with mike’s? because i will allow that if there is a literal scene where she’s got him on the phone like “what color” and mike just sighs and looks down at his clothes like “yellow and blue. but not like that yellow you wore yesterday. that’s mustard. try brighter-- like a banana!” and is just. a good boyfriend to a cute girl. i’ll allow it.

that mayor gives me bad Jaws Mayor vibes... you know the one that keeps the beach open even though there is a shark literally eating people? yeah. here he is, reelected.

static tvs? no. now she ascends to other levels of existence with eggos

the WRIST ROCKET BABY!

Madonna WHO

Trumpet Steve? A new favorite?

Steve yelling out of agony? exactly how i feel about the next shot of karen wheeler doing That at the pool. Girl Don’t.

Is that... joyce? the pant length makes me think it’s joyce. it’s joyce. he’s holding hands with joyce. literally confirmed by me.

el falling in the In Between and then cut to kissing mike? nice. falling in love. that’s cute. very cute. except for she’s kissing a boy in a vest. god dress for the occasion michael.

and then the next scene of will looking fucking MAD in the RAIN? i’m laughing that’s too perfect. yeah, me too honey.

“How many children are you friends with?” Just then the whole Party comes running in screaming “STEVE!” and Steve just shrugs and goes “only the cool ones!”

and that’s what you missed... these are not intelligent thoughts, but if you’d like those hop in my ask and request some more eloquent predictions so we can Keep Score come july 4th. thanks for getting this far! hope you’re all excited! xo

[eng-hypnosismic]

[TL] The Blazing-Hot Bond of the Yamada Brothers This Summer! (Interview w/ KimuSuba)

The first part of our interviews with the cast of “Hypnosis Mic,” is with the project’s poster boy Yamada Ichiro, as portrayed by Kimura Subaru-san! The representative of Ikebukuro Division, and eldest son of the Yamada household, told us everything we needed to know about “Hypnosis Mic.” The extra bit about how the Yamada household spends their summer is a must-read. ♪

—Yamada Ichiro is here, amazing! So, what is your appeal?

First off, the most obvious part would be that he’s the leader of Ikebukuro Division. “Buster Bros!!!” is made up of the three brothers of the Yamada household, so as the eldest son, he has the character of an older brother; a strong rapper that brings his little brothers together. He’s full of brotherly love and puts his brothers first and foremost, that’s Ichiro’s appeal.

—Ichiro is the eldest son of the Yamada household, with a pair of younger brothers. Do you empathize with that at all?

Since I have a little sister, when I saw them bickering, in my head I’d be like “I feel you!!!”. It really makes me smile. Us Kimura siblings are very close even though we fight sometimes, very similar to the brothers; but it’s still different between having a sister and having a brother. I wanted a little brother too. Three brothers is nice, isn’t it!

—How did you encounter “Hypnosis Mic?”

Thankfully, I was the first to receive their offer. Producer Hirano Souichiro himself came to my agency to explain the project. Even though neither the names nor visuals of the characters had been decided on yet, I told him, “Of course I’ll do it!”

—What an enthusiastic reply! (laughs) From that point on, what was your impression when Yamada Ichiro’s visuals and personality were decided upon?

I thought, “He’s handsome, isn’t he!” (laughs). When there were only summary notes on his character, he was more of a reckless yankee, a delinquent, someone like that… So I had that kind of image in my head, but Ichiro was so much cooler than I expected. I was surprised. So I thought, “I see, he really does appeal to women!” (laughs).

—His name has an impact, doesn’t it?

It’s a totally unmistakable name. There are always character names in manga or anime with kanjis that you don’t know how to read when you first saw them. Eventually you even learn to write those words with pronunciations that are difficult to look up and memorize...that’s how it usually goes right? And then there’s “Yamada Ichiro” which you see a lot on examples of governmental forms (laughs). On the other hand, in terms of the divisions’ naming schemes, Ikebukuro has names that very easily convey that they’re brothers. All three of them also have the mismatched eye visual. With all that sense of unity, it certainly feels as though the team is a step ahead of the other Divisions.

—The four Divisions of Ikebukuro, Yokohama, Shibuya, and Shinjuku have been introduced, but what makes Ikebukuro Division number one?

It’s definitely the fact that they’re brothers. The other teams might be good friends, but they don’t have the same harmony that comes from living under the same roof. The kind of trust you develop day after day, year after year since birth can’t be beat by the other Divisions. Since the three of them are all teenagers, their futures are promising. The members of Yokohama’s “MAD TRIGGER CREW” are the strongest, no? Since they’re already the strongest, I think it’d be hard to be even stronger, but for “Buster Bros!!!”, even if they lose once, they have tons of possibilities to become much stronger!

—Please tell us your favorite out of Ikebukuro Division’s music.

“IKEBUKURO WEST GAME PARK.” It was the first song sung with three people, and with a strong sense of brotherhood, it was very fun to sing. On the other hand, the most difficult was “WAR WAR WAR,” which is on the same CD. There was actually a bit of a miscommunication, walking into the studio to record it, I thought we were doing a different song but it was “WAR WAR WAR”...　Although it was my first time seeing it, after listening to it several times I somehow managed to record it… Actually, it was a “WAR WAR WAR” that I really struggled with (laughs).

—Do any of the other Divisions have a song you’d like to sing, a favorite song?

From the Division Battle CD again, “Yokohama Walker.” I really love it, it’s so cool. It’s very “MAD TRIGGER CREW” and Yokohama-esque, a particularly cool type of hip hop that suits them quite well. Even a pro rapper would be jealous of such a cool song. But since each Division has their own team color, it’s not a song Ikebukuro can sing! I’m jealous! If I had to pick from the Division CDs, it’d be Yumeno Gentaro’s “Scenario Liar,” the poetry of which I like, or Iruma Juto’s “Bayside Smoking Blues,” which is stylish. Kannonzaka Doppo’s “Tigridia” seems to be a little difficult, huh… Everyone’s songs are different, so the four CDs provide an easy introduction into different styles within hip hop.

—Kimura-san, which character in particular are you interested in?

From Ichiro’s recounts, there are some entanglements between Ramuda and Jakurai-sensei. They’re ex-members of the same team, “THE Dirty Dawg.” Samatoki is, too, but we haven’t expanded upon that yet. Ichiro trusts Jakurai-sensei, and, though he keeps a distance with Ramuda, he doesn’t dislike him. So I think Ichiro is most interested in the ex-Dirty Dawg members. For myself, I’m interested in Dice because at such a young age he’s become such a reckless gambler (laughs). I don’t have any friends who are of that type, so it’s nice to meet someone different. It would be interesting if we get along well.

—Speaking of which, Kimura-san, is there any character you’d like to become friends with?

Everyone is so unique, and I think the brothers of the Yamada household are particularly nice… Ramuda is fluffy-feeling, but at the same time you could say he’s prickly; he’s a guy like Pop Rocks candy. That being the case, I don’t think he’d hide his true feelings. Seems like he’s fun to be around.

—Then, Kimura-san, who would you rap battle against yourself?

Anyone is OK! I want to have a rap battle with the whole cast! (laughs)

—One could say that your character Yamada Ichiro is the poster boy of the work, but did you ever consult the cast on anything for your rap?

Occasionally. Back then, I had discussions related to singing and things like getting the feel for the rhythm and flow. My freestyle, too, wasn’t quite up to par, so I’d ask for advice like “What kind of CD should I be listening to?” The three members of Ikebukuro, Ishiya-kun, Amasaki-kun, and myself have a group chat on LINE where we recommend each other music.

—Kimura-san, what would you do if you came into possession of a Hypnosis Mic?

Eh—what would I do? I guess I have no choice but to rap, but the actual thought of using it is a little frightening. Especially since it tampers with your opponent’s psyche… I’d display it in a glass case. That way, on the off chance I need it, I can get it (laughs).

—From here, “Hypnosis Mic” is spreading in a variety of ways, so please tell us what you would like to try to do with it in the future.

First of all, I’m happy that it’s made it this far. Secondly, I want more people to properly learn about “Hypnosis Mic,” and attend the live shows. Listening to the CDs is fine as well, but nothing compares to the raw sound you get from lives, which is why I’d really like to perform more of them. Aside from the live in August, it’d be nice to perform at a live house in Ikebukuro, Yokohama, Shibuya, and Shinjuku...something like that would be a dream come true. It’d be interesting to have additional Divisions and groups too.

—What kind of Division would you like to see?

As far as rap culture is concerned, Osaka already has promising rappers, Okinawa holds rap music close to home, and Yamanashi has a few hot rappers, as well. I’d be happy to see a Yamanashi Division! That fires me up! For the addition of a new team, they’d like Ikebukuro at first and later come to be fans of other teams, and I’d be happy to see “Hypnosis Mic” grow bigger! No matter what kind of Division comes about, I want it!

—Lastly, please give a message to the fans of Ikebukuro Division.

The three brothers of the Yamada household are overcoming hardships every day, so we would like for people to heal us just for a little bit… That’s why I’d like to call the people who cheer for “Buster Bros!!!” “family.” Please support “Buster Bros!!!” and join the household! Let’s become a family together! The Yamada brothers are in your care!

Q. Speaking of summer sweets in the Yamada house…?

It seems like the Yamada household eats milk jelly. Especially when paired with oranges. But, I, myself, like milk jelly so that's saying a lot (laughs). We still don’t have any scenes of the Yamadas cooking, but I believe Saburo would have made it for Ichiro to eat. At first, he made it because he liked it, but then he made it because Ichiro liked it...what do you think of that? On the other hand, I feel like Saburo would make way too many and get tired of it after having a little, and get into pudding instead (laughs). I think the three of them would have their own ways of eating pudding, too. Saburo is the type to eat top-down like normal and eat the caramel last, while Ichiro goes bottom-up and eats the caramel first. Jiro likes to mix his pudding. I’m sure of that. Rather than milk jelly or pudding, Jiro likes red bean paste donuts more. Something like that. In the summer they use a machine to make shaved ice, but they fight over whether to use strawberry, melon, or Blue Hawaii syrup for so long that the ice melts, and they have to resort to eating milk jelly (laughs).

[ballisterboldheart]

I think I might start watching bf5 so can you tell me why I should watch it

bro you’re going to get a giant block of text because hot wheels battle force 5 is a series that is really near and dear to my heart.

ok first off the plot is kinda simple but it’s really fun: it’s a group of six teens that have to drive cars real fast and battle some aliens. the second season gets more complicated but its. fun.

the aliens are called the sark (robots led by a tyrant), and the vandals (tribal dictatorship). there’s never any doubt about them being evil—not only are they conquerors that have destroyed worlds, the vandals practice slavery (which is a minor spoiler) and the sark are led by zemerik who is. just a fucking asshole. however, the show plays with this tradition model of heroes vs villains a lot in s2: zemerik Because Of Reasons ends up on the heroes’s side. this does not mean they trust him. they have to help kallus (the leader of the vandals), too, but they know for a fact the second there isn’t a greater evil to unite against, they’re back to throwing fists. 

there’s another race of aliens called the sentients which are like. gods. they created the universe and all the battle zones—this is the place where our heroes fight/race the bad guys. also ps battlezones are some of the COOLEST concepts we get out of this show. they’re usually unique in design but there are reasons our heroes sometimes revisit them that makes narrative sense. battlezones are unlocked by battlekeys, and getting the battle key is pretty much the premise for every episode in s1, except for a couple near the end that build into the main conflict of s2. anyways, back the sentients. they’re dicks. i don’t trust them. they also have slaves but it’s like. lowkey slavery? it’s. yeah. also, they are 2 kinds of sentients: the blue ones and the red ones. the red ones you THINK are dicks but then u find out the blue ones. weren’t that nice either. so it’s. spicy. sentients also had like. a couple of civil wars.

anyways, let’s talk about our main heroes!

there’s vert wheeler

he’s kind of a dork and you can tell he’s probably like. 18. he’s the leader and he’s kinda arrogant but he always manages to keep his team together. he makes bad jokes sometimes and you can argue he’s a little op but honestly? as skilled as he is he clearly needs a team at his back. i stan him so hard. he drives the saber which is a car with a chainsaw on it. a chainsaw.

vert’s second is command is agura ibaden, this beautiful lady:

she made me into a lesbian. she doubts herself sometimes and gets a couple of episodes about learning to be in control and eventually she’s a great leader in her own right. she drives the tangler which is a beast of a vehicle and she’s good at planning and hitting the enemy in ways they don’t expect. i love her so much.

next up we have the cortez brothers, spinner and sherman.

they’re latino but it’s implied they’re mexican because spinner’s gamer name references a specific city in mexico. also, side note, bf5 was ridiculously popular in mexico. like. reruns every other hour. it was the life. but anyways, they’re the technical brains of the team. spinner is good with computers and sherman is an engineering genius. although they’re both the tech support, i love that they have different skills!! they love each other very much but they also get on each other’s nerves. in one episode they dare each other to eat increasingly gross things it’s hilarious and they’re peak sibling culture. also sherman is big and still the brains! there are however a couple food jokes about him which is :( but they’re not like. his entire characterization! he’s complex and i love him. they drive the buster which is. basically a tank. 

anyways, next up is zoom takazumi, resident ninja

alkjd actually he’s a mixed martial arts fighter! he’s the youngest and i would protect him with my LIFE. also i don’t have the episode on hand right this moment but he’s south asian! yay diversity. he gets flak for being the baby of the team but he really finds himself and he’s an awesome scout. also i love alessandro juliani, his VA so. stan him. he drives the chopper which is a bike that becomes a helicopter. i don’t make it sound very cool but it IS.

we also have stanford isaac rhodes 

he’s our moron representation. he’s vain, self obsessed, and thinks he should be in charge (the villains literally. know him as “the vain one” it’s hilarious). if the writing for this show were weaker, i’d hate him. however! he learns to not be such a dick. he becomes ride or die for his friends. as much as he thinks he should be in charge and clashes with agura, he learns to be better! i appreciate this dumbass white boy. he drives the reverb which has guns. a car. with sonic guns. this show goes ridiculously hard.

in s2 we get two more characters, tezz and aj. 

tezz volitov is like stanford, but ridiculously smart. he strands himself on an alien mood at the age of NINE, and spends the next 9 years alone. it’s kinda sad. it takes him a while, but he eventually learns how to be a good teammate and i love him so much. he’s also russian, i think, but he’s. probably not white? it’s complicated. this is an issue i got with the show but i’ll tack it onto them wanting to be diverse whilst being white people. tezz drives the splitwire which i. legit want. it’s so fucking COOL.

finally, we have aj who i dont have a gif for, i just realized. he’s white n blonde, tho so. just imagine that. he doesn’t have too big of a role in the series, but he’s vert’s friend so i trust him and also the times he does show up he doesn’t steal the spotlight or anything, which i respect. they knew he was a bland white guy and they committed to that.

but yeah the characters are really interesting. also, the animation? is god tier for a show from 2010 that had the graveyard time slot. there are so many little details and the SCORING IS TO DIE FOR, also the way they color skin tones? is something you rarely see in 3D cartoons. they understood that dark skin in different lighting doesn’t react the same as white skin. there is no moment in the show where you can’t see the difference in the skin tone of the characters. it’s amazing and i love it so much.

a couple of details from the animation bc i love it

but yeah! this show is very colorful and what i call “lovingly animated”

another great things about it are. the jokes. the way they write dialogue is literally. to die for:

“bro, what would you do without me?” “live to see my next birthday”

“who wants to help me destroy a pack of killer robots?”

“a great warrior has fallen. an ally, an enemy, but, mostly a dismal failure, and a loser”

“believe it or not, i’m too exhausted to humiliate you”

“you’re risking our lives based on artwork made of STICK FIGURES?”

“if a 50ft statue of one of us showed up in a battlezone, what would we do?” “i’d blog about it” “no one reads your blog”

“the brains of this operation?” “he’s the left hemisphere. i’m the right”

some of them have visual elements which i love in jokes!!

but yeah. this is long enough i guess.

to sum up:

diverse cast

great animation

great music

solid plot

solid writing

funny joaks

some AMAZING foreshadowing 

the webisodes are funny and cute

the theme song SLAPS

WORDBUILDING TO DIE FOR

there’s so much i’m leaving out because this show is SO MUCH AND SO GOOD but yeah. i made some gifs if you want to see the flavor of this show

there’s no romance like. at all. the focus is solely on the action and i love it

however, i am known for being a salty little bitch so issues™

could have used more women

there are a couple of jokes which are kinda cheesy

the diversity is the kind written by white people so take that as you will. also it’s a show that’s like. as good as white people can write. nothing super revolutionary.

it doesn’t entirely have. a solid ending. it has a tv movie that wraps it up but 1. it’s in spanish (yours truly wrote a translation) 2. it includes a cliffhanger which was. unnecessary. it’s more that they wanted to leave the door open for more but. didn’t make it. however! all the main conflicts get resolved so it’s not too a big issue

there’s probably more stuff but honestly? it’s a solid kids show. flaws n strengths. i love it

[curly-q-reviews]

ROAD TO THE OSCAR MAYER WIENER AWARDS 2K19

The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, 2018 (dir. Joel Coen, Ethan Coen)

Nominated for: Best Original Song, Best Costume Design, Best Adapted Screenplay

SPOILER ALERT THAR BE SPOILERS AHEAD ME HEARTIES BE YE WARNED

wowee what a cool film!!  i went into this not knowing much about it except it was directed by the Coen brothers (directors of Fargo and The Big Lebowski) which set real high expectations for me.  these guys are real masters of storytelling and what immediately come to mind when i think of movies that know how to effectively use dark humor.  i also love the kinds of stories they tell in general, how they take subjects and settings that seem kinda mundane and just give them this little extra spark. 

so is this newest film just as good as their other work???  well id say yeah for sure!!!  it reminds me a lot of a film they did shortly after The Big Lebowski called O Brother, Where Art Thou?, because theyre both period pieces AND because they both feature a myriad of eclectic and interesting characters.  the one thing that makes The Ballad of Buster Scruggs really stand out from their other films however is the fact that this is actually an anthology made up of six different stories, all set during the same time period in The Wild West.  its also worth mentioning that this movie was made to premiere on Netflix, which is something ive started to see more and more as the streaming platform becomes the new go-to source of media content.  its very exciting to see such prolific directors go the Netflix route and have great success with it, because it means that the platform really is capable of creating high-quality movies and TV shows and working with big-name talent.  im sure the big hollywood production companies are all quaking in their lil booties cause this means big BIG changes are on the horizon

ok so ive reviewed anthology series before, notably Black Mirror, and with those reviews i ranked the short stories in order of least to most favorite.  so i guess in this case ill do the same, although its hard to really rank these cause i truly enjoyed all of them in different ways.  there was one however that didnt really tickle my fancy much, which was “Near Algodones”.  this one stars james franco as a bank robber who seems to have met his match in a fiery (probably crazy) bank teller.  he gets caught and hung from a tree by the town’s sheriff, but nearly manages to escape death when a Native American tribe swoops in and kills the sheriff and his crew.  james franco is saved by a cattle driver, only to be caught again by the next town’s sheriff for allegedly trying to hawk the cattle (which was not the case at all).  right before they kick the chair out from under him at the hanging, he sees a beautiful woman in blue, who at first smiles at him but then looks unnerved as he stares back at her. 

i think with this one the ending really didnt do much for me, i kinda didnt get it.  i did understand the whole irony behind surviving punishment for a crime he DID commit but getting hanged for a crime he never committed, and the bank teller was pretty hilarious, but everything else about the segment was just ok.  james franco didnt really blow me away (he never really does but thats besides the point), the rest of the performances were fine, and the story just kinda zipped on through.  maybe ill give this one another watch to see if the ending makes any more sense to me, or if theres any sense to be made from it at all

next up for me would be “The Gal Who Got Rattled”, and this segment i have mixed feelings over.  its about this brother and sister who set out on the Oregon trail so that the brother can get his sister to marry his business partner in Oregon.  the sister seems like a kind of wishy-washy, subdued character who just kinda goes along with whatever her brother says without giving much of her own opinion.  i gotta give credit to zoe kazan (who starred in The Big Sick) cause she does a great job with this character, totally spot-on performance.  ok so turns out the brother is a fucken HORRIBLE businessman who screws up all his business deals all the time, and he tragically dies like two days into being on the oregon trail.  he has this annoying-ass dog that barks all the time and everyone else on the caravan is sick of it, so when the brother dies the sister just lets one of the trail leaders put it down.  turns out the sister like did not like her brother at all but was always too afraid to say anything.  now getting back to the bad businessman thing, apparently he had promised the helper boy that is helping move their covered wagon a large sum of money, half of it halfway through the journey and the rest when they get to oregon.  problem is, the sister doesnt have the money, so it was either left in the brothers pocket when he was buried or there wasnt actually any money at all and he lied, y’know, like a bad businessman does.  the trail leader who put the annoying dog down offers to help her, and the two start to get close.  so now its like a pseudo love story thing.  except it ends pretty tragically (the sister dies its a long story and pretty ironic just watch it if u wanna know)

so uuuhhhhh this one was long as shit, like a lot longer than the other segments when it didnt really need to be???  like it just kept  going and going, and again the ending didnt really make up for how long it was.  i really liked zoe kazan in this, but otherwise nothing to write home about. 

number four on my list would have to go to “All Gold Canyon”, which basically just follows the story of a gold miner in the mountains trying to get that money honey.  this segment is the simplest one out of the bunch, but i gotta say its absolutely gorgeous.  what beautiful scenery and cinematography.  it provides a nice contrast to our disheveled, run-down gold miner who is just tearing up the beautiful grassy fields trying to get to this gold.  there seems to be a theme in this one of man’s relationship to nature, and how the gold miner does put in effort to respect it but still takes advantage of it for his own benefit.  and i guess theres a broader theme of greed, or the ruthless and endless pursuit of wealth which can drive people to do crazy and desperate things.  i definitely really enjoyed this one, especially the gold miner character played by tom waits.  but otherwise it didnt stand out as much to me as the other segments im gonna talk about

SPEAKING OF WHICH heres number three!!  “The Mortal Remains” is right up my alley, and has some more mythical elements to it than the other segments ive talked about so far.  so we have a wagon full of passengers all going to this hotel for various reasons, and its a really diverse cast of characters: we have the older wife of a prolific religious lecturer, a rich Frenchman, a trapper, a foppish Englishman, and a cheery laid-back Irishman, the last two seeming to be companions of some sort.  they all get on the topic of the true nature of mankind, and the three characters opposite of the strange pair all have something different to say.  the trapper believes that all people are inherently the same, with the same basic needs.  the older woman disagrees and insists that there are two kinds of people, upright and sinning.  and then the Frenchman says that both of them are wrong, that human existence is much more complicated and nuanced than that; no one persons life is exactly the same as another’s.  and then we have the Englishman and the Irishman, who turn out to be bounty hunters of some sort (is heavily alluded that they are grim reaper-type figures).  they explain their method of completing their kills, and talk about how they enjoy watching their victims “try to make sense of it all” in their death throes.  these two clearly have a much more cold and sinister idea of the nature of mankind, and the rest become very unsettled all the way to the hotel.  no one else even dares to step out of the carriage while the bounty hunters drag their latest victim through the front entrance and up the stairs.

oh man this segment was great!  i think the reason its third on my list is cause i really wish there was more to it, like if the Coen brothers spent more time on this one instead of “The Gal Who Got Rattled” it would be perfect.  Jonjo O’Neill and Brendan Gleeson as the bounty hunters were so enthralling, and i loved watching them play off of each other.  hell, i couldve had a whole movie featuring those two.  and the screenwriting really shines in this segment too.  this segment almost feels like a fable or something, which is really fitting for the time period.  makes me wonder if they had based it off of an actual fable.  but anyway yeah this ones awesome!

i had a hard time choosing between “The Mortal Remains” and this next segment for second place cause i liked them both equally, but in the end “Meal Ticket” gets #2 purely because of the utterly fantastic performance by Harry Melling, who plays a quadriplegic actor in a traveling show run by liam neesons character, an irish traveling entertainer.   the story itself is really simple, we just see this disabled actor be carted from one town to the next, doing the same stage show which is basically just him reciting famous prose throughout the ages.  meanwhile liam neeson is trying to get as much money as he can out of the audience members.  he doesnt interact much with harry melling outside of feeding him and helping him piss and get dressed.  u get the sense that he doesnt really see his disabled actor as an actual person, but more of an entertaining object or a pet.  and this becomes even more apparent when the irishman gets some competition from another traveling entertainer who has a chicken that can do math.  he sees this chicken getting more money than him, so he buys it off of the other guy and takes it with him.  and finally, the poor limbless actor is literally and figuratively tossed aside for the next best thing.

man oh man what a great segment!  harry melling blew me away with his performance, the fact that he was able to get such a nuanced range of emotion out of the few lines he was given (basically he had to recite the same shit over and over again) was so impressive to me.  and his non-verbal communication was really solid too.  liam neeson did really well in his role too.  and again the story itself is really great, simple but effective and really gets the point across without having to beat the audience over the head with its message. OH YEAH ITS REAL GOOD LOVE IT

and finally we have my #1 pick, which i think the directors knew this was the best one out of the bunch too cause its the first segment as well as the title of the whole movie.  “The Ballad of Buster Scruggs” has that signature Coen brothers wit and dark humor that i love, it plays off of typical Western movie tropes and is very tongue-in-cheek and i ate that shit up.  tim blake nelson as the titular buster is just so fucken perfect for this role, he really shines in this and its kind of a shame that its one of the shorter segments cause it really is the best one and he knocks it out of the park.  we got some great music in this segment too, which is where that Best Original Song nom comes in.   this one also has some strong fable-y vibes to it, like this story could be amongst the likes of American folklore like Paul Bunyan and Johnny Appleseed.  i wont get much into the plot of this one but i highly recommend watching it, even if you dont wanna see the rest of the segments. 

the segments fit together pretty well overall, although the tone of each of them differs slightly the fact that the setting and time period are the same is enough to firmly knit all these stories together.  its a really unique idea for a movie, and is so far the best attempt at an anthology movie that ive ever seen purely because the stories really all make sense together and play off of each other well.  in other anthology movies ive seen like The ABC’s of Death the segments usually dont have much at all to do with each other, except that they all fall in the same genre.  so overall id say give this a watch, especially if ur a Coen brothers fan, cause theres some real good stuff in here.

well thats all i got for now cowboys!!  i watched Roma the other day and CRIED REAL HARD so get ready for me to kiss that movies ass in a review that should be done in the next few days.  until then go uuhhhhhh lasso a cow or something.  chew some tobaccy.  fondle a barmaids titties.  die of dysentery.  y’know just old west things~

[transformers-art-showcase]

P.A.T.C.H. #7: "Starscream: The Movie"

Most often in comics, continuity is a problem for newbies. If you don’t know what the characters are talking about and what in-jokes they make, is there really a point in recommending the book? Yes, I hear you; this here feature is supposed to help with sorting those messes out, after all. But what if something has such a killer concept you can’t help but blabber on about it? Even to people not into the comic series?

Case in point: a Cybertronian tries to make a movie about Starscream for humans. My mom was sold. Be as cool as my mom!

“Thundercracker in: Starscream: The Movie”

“Optimus Prime” Annual (2018)/“Transformers: Optimus Prime” Volume 5 (upcoming as of this writing) Written by John Barber, pencils by Priscilla Tramontano and Andrew Griffith, colors by John-Paul Bove and Josh Burcham, letters by Shawn Lee

SO WHAT’S IT ABOUT? Starscream, Lord of Cybertron, fed up with his notoriety amongst his subjects, decides on a solution: good old-fashioned propaganda! Having learned of his old wing-mate’s passion for writing, he tasks ex-Seeker Thundercracker with scripting, casting and directing a movie about his life. Who cares if said ex-comrade has only written human soap opera fan fiction and unpublished screenplays so stilted, they would make “Birdemic” green with envy? He’s really into it! Surely, nothing can go wrong!

WHAT DO I NEED TO KNOW? Given that this issue came out in the last year of the IDW Generation One continuity, there are various bits and pieces to consider before diving in, but probably the most important has to do with the evolution of Thundercracker, from Seeker repaint to real boy fleshed-out character. While his goofy and hopelessly optimistic personality is well-established in the series and this here issue completes his origin story, it can’t harm to go over it and pick some highlights.

The fate of Thundercracker –or TC to his friends- has long been intertwined with that of two more famous Decepticon fliers: OG bad boy Starscream and official stair-pusher Skywarp. The first years’ worth of stories weren’t different: the three met Megatron together for the first time in the mini-series “Megatron: Origins”, written by Eric Holmes, penciled by Alex Milne and colored by Josh Perez. His most interesting beat in that story was expressing doubt over burning the city of Kaon, only to be pacified by Skywarp –“Don’t think. Just do it.”, he said. After that, and for the longest time, from the “Autocracy Trilogy” to the “–ations”, the blue jet remained a constant if discreet presence in the Decepticon forces. He was always there, often under Starscream, never in a major role, sometimes uncomfortable with his place.

Still, there were a couple exceptions to this. In “Spotlight: Orion Pax”, written by James Roberts, he was a reluctant underling to mad scientist Bludgeon. He crossed paths with the creepy samurai again much later, in “Spotlight: Thundercracker”, written by John Barber with art by Chee Yang Ong, this time while searching for the original Titans. In that story, he had a change of heart when he found Metroplex, and lied so the ancient Transformer wouldn’t fall into Decepticon hands. In both cases, the further away he stayed from bad influences, the more functional his moral compass became.

The great break from all the above –ironically, inspired by his original toy bio– came with his rejection of the Decepticon cause. In “All Hail Megatron” (written by Shane McCarthy and with art by Guido Guidi), after witnessing the brutalities and monstrosities his side was capable of –namely, razing human cities and creating the Insecticons-, he prevented the detonation of a nuclear bomb and briefly worked with the Autobots. (His reward? Getting shot in the face by Skywarp. Some comradery.) In the next ongoing (look for the stand-alone issue #4, written by Mike Costa, penciled by Don Figueroa, with colors by James Brown and letters by Robbie Robbins), it was revealed that thankfully, he survived, kept barely online on Earth and scavenging for fuel. He also picked up a new best friend: human television! Laugh all you want, but it gave him a new appreciation for humans and their adaptability –couldn’t his own species be like this? While he turned into a reluctant ally to the Autobots, he stayed out of intense battles...

... until he got to work with his new best friends in Season 2 of “Robots in Disguise”: Earth people! Between the regeneration of the planet and Starscream’s rise to power, TC stayed back on the blue marble and got in touch with human anti-Transformer forces, who provided him with fuel and a home. (A gift puppy named Buster sealed the deal and immediately became fealty.) In return, they wanted his services against Autobot invaders, but his love of Earth got in the way of that. What also got in the way was his new calling: writing! Inspired by the years he spent watching TV, he then went on to create totally original and very high quality screenplays, hoping they would lead to a career in film. (They haven’t so far. There’s a reason the Wiki has quotes from “The Room” in his personal page.) Still, eventually things turned out well enough: he helped untangle the mess of allegiances between the Earth Defense Command and Cybertronians and formed an enduring friendship with female Earth human Marissa Faireborn. Not bad for someone whose biggest claim to fame was being the answer to a trivia question –“Who was the first Decepticon shown in active combat in IDW continuity?”

Finally, some minor bits of backstory to make a few character beats land easier. An institute protecting Transformers with “abnormal” powers was first introduced in “More Than Meets the Eye” #11, by James Roberts and Alex Milne. The re-discovery of the Cybertronian Colonies started with the people of Caminus –Windblade, Chromia and Nautica- in “Dark Cybertron”, and they were all immediately integrated into the books –we’ve talked about the first “Windblade” mini here. The dead colony of Prion, shown in “The Transformers” #57 (by Barber and Livio Ramondelli) wasn’t nearly so lucky. The creation of the Council of Worlds for the governance of the surviving ones was detailed in the “Windblade: Distant Stars” mini-series, written by Maighread Scott, with art by Corin Howell and colors by Thomas Deer. After that, colonists such as Aileron (“The Transformers” #44, by Barber, Griffith, Perez on colors and Tom B. Long on letters) joined the action on Cybertron, though not without problems. Oh, and that huge dinosaur was brought online in the “Salvation” one-shot and has been used as an embassy since “Optimus Prime” #13-14 (by Barber, Ramondelli and Long). As it happens.

WHERE DO I GO FROM THERE? Why’d you think I listed all those previous stories above? So that you can go and get ‘em!

Okay, to be less abrasive and more specific, there isn’t that much to get into after this story, but there’s plenty to jump back to. Almost all these minor characters have had memorable stories told about them, so I’m only going to single out some personal favorites and let you decide what you might be into. Fat Fast Tankor’s most memorable outings have been at the hands of Maighread Scott, and it was in the first “Windblade” mini that he and his bestie, Tall Tankor, started getting some attention. For another visit to Alpha Trion, Adorable Old Man (And More), see “Optimus Prime” #10, by Barber, Zama and Burcham. For the amazing life of Richard Ruby, film producer and ex-superhero (no, really), check out “Revolutionaries” #3 by Barber, pencils by Ron Joseph, Sebastian Cheng on colors and Long lettering. Finally, for a story that demonstrates Marissa’s own issues (and just how much of a sweetspark TC is), “New Cybertron” (“Optimus Prime” #1-6) by Barber, Zama, Milne and Burcham has you covered.

But clearly this isn’t why you’re here. You want more of The Artist’s work. For that, head over to the “Transformers Holiday Special” (which we’ve visited before here), for the ten-page story by Barber, Burcham and Long. It is a Christmas story that is children’s storybook by way of Frank Miller, and it might be the best thing in the whole line. In the same trade you’ll find the “Revolution” tie-in issue for the “Robots in Disguise” series, written by Barber, with pencils by Griffith and colors by Thomas Deer. While it’s connected to a much larger event, it’s valuable for seeing how TC evaluates his own work and how he works with Marissa. It is a Hollywood action movie pastiche with a failed screenplay layered on top, and it’s a sweet little tribute to the character. Both of these stories work with similar themes to this one, but expand them in different directions.

IS IT ANY GOOD? It was the culmination of a few years’ worth of stories with an endearing secondary character taking center stage. It offered a sideways look into a fascinating time in “Transformers” comics, through its less important players. It was a funny and poignant look into what can go wrong with any piece of art we create, consume, curate and love (or, more importantly, ignore). It had some exceptional so-bad-it’s-good writing and art. It had a cute puppy in it.

PUPPY! WHO’S A GOOD PUPPY, WHO’S THE BEST PUPPY?! BUSTER IS! YES, SHE IS! Stop baby-talking one of the main characters and concentrate! Here, this should keep you busy!

LIKE A MOVIE STAR WITHOUT MOVIES | THEME AND CHARACTER Strip away all the superficialities, and what is this story about? An artist attempts to create a work of art, and Poe’s Law comes into full effect. His source material is controversial –few people have kind things to say about Starscream. His sources lack credibility –the subject of the movie himself is a liar with a ton of guilt on his shoulders. His production value is low -seriously, I’m having “Pop Quiz Hotshot” flashbacks here. He himself lacks training and discipline, and he and his crew aren’t on the same page –oh, and one of them isn’t paid. He gets preoccupied with details -Megatron had a different frame in “Robots in Disguise”! There goes the suspension of disbelief! He has so little faith in himself that he blindly follows whatever advice he’s offered –is it a commercial or personal work, then? And in the end, no matter his passion and drive for the project, he fails for reasons beyond his control, not even his own mistakes. This kind of story can work only if we’re invested in the mad ambition of its main creator, and TC’s unlucky, stubborn and likeable enough to pull it off. The annual, then, becomes a love letter to art creation in general: a whole lot of people with conflicting ideas try to create something meaningful against all odds. Even if the end product isn’t great, you have to feel for all the effort, the time and energy spent (or wasted) on it, right?

There’s also an extra layer to all this, and it’s specifically about Cracker’s relation to his work. At this point in the series, TC has officially renounced the Decepticons and wants to leave a peaceful life on Earth. This project about one of his former associates makes him ask all sorts of questions: what drove Starscream to do the things he did? How does he handle the unstable political climate after the Autobot victory? Did the War ever mean anything to anyone? And what is there to do after the War? These aren’t easy questions, and the ex-Seeker’s own stance on these issues is complicated by his personal feelings and involvement. This might be a movie about Starscream, but deep down, this is a story about Thundercracker. (This becomes even more apparent when one remembers the two share the same mold.) While the theme of failed or doubtful artists is universal, the specificity of this million-year-long War informs it with extra nuances that enrich an already interesting character portrait.

“Oh man, I just can't figure Starscream out. Sometimes he’s just too smart. Sometimes he’s just flat-out stupid. Other times he’s just evil.”

ENHANCED BY BRAND NEW SPECIAL EFFECTS| ART This whole examination could have ended up dry and boring, but in the hands of penciler Priscilla Tramontano, it gets a life and energy it would otherwise lack. Her greatest strength is the expressiveness she lends to the characters, and so she’s the perfect fit for a story with lots of quick, fully dialogue. Little casual touches and details, like reading glasses or cups of coffee, make the world of alien robots a little more approachable and help ease us into its confused protagonist’s mind. John-Paul Bove’s colors are bright and poppy, but moody in the more serious parts (like TC’s meeting with Dirge and relaxing at the beach near the end). Andrew Griffith and Josh Burcham contribute pencils and colors respectively in two key scenes, one flashback to just before the War and the trailer for a rival production. Their more detailed, somber yet action-oriented style helps draw attention to them, but the overall tone doesn’t shift from the fast-paced comedy and introspection of the whole issue. In any case, the story never loses its sense of wonder: this is a charming, strange little world, and in the increasingly serious main title, this can sometimes fall through the cracks.

However, this is the rare case of a comic whose artistic failings are also interesting in their own way. The scenes shown from “Starscream: The Movie” itself are bad on purpose, and so multiple movie mistakes are recreated in comics form. The lighting is almost always off in most scenes, and in some cases, it’s easy to make a green highlight around the actors –the result of cheap color correction. In another scene, the focus is all wrong, and so “Megatron” and “Starscream” are blurry or stick like sore thumbs from the background. When Thundercracker cannot stage the Decepticon uprising from the first storyline of “Robots in Disguise”, he ends up using archival footage for it –and so the same panels that Andrew Griffith drew for issue #13 are re-used wholesale! While it can be distracting at first, these mistakes become doubly fun when spotted and only add to the joke. (They can also make all amateur filmmakers out there check their equipment twice before starting filming. Never go with auto-focus, people!)

“Hey, everybody! I have an announcement to make!”

AN AWKWARD PAUSE, THEN “WHAT'S MY LINE?”| PLOT AND DIALOGUE But forget pretty much everything I’ve written so far, because the number one reason to read this story is how damn funny it is. And that’s not just for the guilty pleasure of mocking Thundercracker’s work. Sure, the tone-deaf, repetitive dialogue, the hammy acting and the flubs of the final film (poor Waspinator, always a victim) are extremely enjoyable, but that ignores the real back-and-forth of the characters. Even better is how the movie scenes are staged alongside the rest of TC’s discussions and efforts. The issue is expertly paced, each page functioning as a scene into its own, with set-ups and payoffs. When read all together, it’s like a very well-edited movie: it remains fast and doesn’t sag, and the connections between the disparate scenes become apparent on a second read-through. The cyclical flow of the story –it begins and ends with a very similar scene- can be seen as bittersweet and uplifting at the same time, and it made this here reader want to re-read the issue the moment it was over.

One of Barber’s greatest gifts as a writer –owing to his experience as an editor- is his mastery of continuity, but here he also demonstrates a firm understanding of Transformers and pop culture. His cheeky world-building –giant robots make movies, too!- combines satire and Trans-fan practices -repaints are totally a thing!- into one whole. Humans get a lot to do in this world, too, being both friends and potential business partners, in a co-existence that might even bring to mind the days of the original cartoon. My favorite example might be TC’s interactions with a former superhero, prospective film producer and distributor. The practicality of creating and curating a movie clashes wonderfully with the insanity of a sci-fi world and some obscure pop and high culture references. It’s this level of detail and care for all those losers that gives the story a beating heart that is often forgotten when talking about this specific writer’s work.

“You know what they say, ‘Love is blind’!”

THE CREDITS ROLL, THE CAMERA PANS | FINAL THOUGHTS Going over all the things I’ve written so far about this annual, I see that I could still go on. This here read focused on the story from a newbie perspective, because with continuity in mind, there’s a whole other essay’s worth of stuff to unpack! (One could re-interpret it as a Starscream and not a Thundercracker story, in fact!) But even with all that aside, this is a really fun, sweet diversion from the political drama of “Optimus Prime”, a great tribute to the bit players of the franchise and a love letter to the creative process as a whole. Oh, and there’s new jokes to find in, like, every new read! I literally just today remembered Fake!Ironhide’s Southern accent! That stuff’s amazing!