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#i also really like how her approach to marketing is sometimes to be absolutely honest even if it kind of makes the products sound garbage
fingertipsmp3 · 1 year
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I never leave mlm groups I get invited to on fb, and I’m sure the people who start the groups are really annoyed and confused by why I stay despite never contributing or buying anything, but the thing is I just find it so interesting to observe how these people peddle their wares
#there’s this one group i’m in currently that’s a scentsy group. my best friend added me to it because she’s a bleeding heart#she ‘doesn’t support mlms’ but ‘buys from these people to help them out’ and i’m like.. you are doing the opposite of helping them#but anyway. this group is run by a girl we were friends with in secondary school#and idk i just find it kind of fascinating because i can always ALWAYS tell when she wrote her posts vs when her upline or someone else#in the company wrote a post lol#basically if everything is spelled correctly and there are no typos it’s not her#i also tend to notice if someone else wrote the post it’s a lot more upbeat and there’s more technical language in the post#i also sometimes see a weird tonal shift. it’ll be like ‘the whatever bar is fragranced with freesias; coconut and balls to evoke a summer’s#day ✨’ and then there’s a random aside from this girl like ‘omg sounds lush right?????’#no liz i’m not even sure what that would smell like. and why is it blue. you know and i know and we know none of those things are blue#i also really like how her approach to marketing is sometimes to be absolutely honest even if it kind of makes the products sound garbage#which.. don’t get me wrong i love some transparency#but i feel like that approach is better if you’re reviewing something rather than selling it. like as your livelihood#for example she reviewed a bar recently that’s called espresso something and said ‘it doesn’t smell like coffee. i like it.. i don’t love it#okay and you’re trying to get me to buy this?? girl.#i mean i guess it comes off less fake than if she loved EVERYTHING but lots of the times when she doesn’t write the posts#everything is like ‘this is the best product EVER’ ‘new and exclusive’ ‘can’t miss this sale’ etc#so it just drives home that that stuff is fake. whilst in reality this person doesn’t recommend some of these products#i also don’t love seeing her in real time spending her actual money on this garbage but that’s just me#i spend a lot of my time wondering how do people in mlms keep up with it? that’s the one thing that makes me doubt if everybody is losing#money. because if you lose.. for example £5k to an mlm; how did you GET 5k to spend on the mlm in the first place#i don’t even have 5k to begin with. it doesn’t make sense to me#is it all just credit card debt? or do people make a little cash and then immediately blow it on those same products. and if so WHY#so that’s my long winded rant about why i stay in these groups lol#honestly it’s not even entertainment at this point. i just want to see if she’ll ever leave#personal
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bookwyrminspiration · 5 months
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Call me out if I’m wrong here, but I feel like sometimes, when you’re in this fandom, there’s a lot of contradictory?
I feel like not that long ago people were upset that others were saying they didn’t like something, so wording changed.
I do believe that we should be honest on whether or not we like something (while being kind/gracious about it), but that might be the reason why some people are more nervous to just come out and say it?
Again I may be so incredibly wrong; I’ve been dipping my toes in and out of the fandom for a while now.
I think you have a valid point. There's a lot of people in the fandom, and we have different opinions, some of which contradict each other. Sometimes one view dominates, then the other. We vacillate and change, which is only natural.
Regarding the recent wording change, I'm not sure what specific thing that was in response to--there was some conversation in the vein of "if you don't like it, why are you here?" Which was more in response to the overwhelming negativity the series has started to accrue with the long interims, its current direction, and fans getting older. The sort of "people don't want to hear about how much you hate the thing they love." Even if you've established yourself as a fan of it previously.
Which I think can coexist alongside simply saying you don't like something. I can say the new cover isn't really hitting for me without tearing it apart and making those who really enjoy it feel bad, you know? I don't mind it, understand why it's like that, and appreciate Jason Chan's artistic prowess, but that doesn't make it interesting to look at.
But you're right, there's been this push to justify why you dislike things, at least in online spaces. So it's harder/makes people nervous to say "I just don't like this." Myself included. Instead it's "this was rushed" "this was last minute" "Shannon's publishers are pressuring her" "her editor's are pressuring her" etc.
Which, again, is entirely possible. Writing and publishing is hard; it takes a lot of work and pleasing the industry isn't easy. But there are points where--I think--people approach it with bad faith.
To use the cover as an example again, a lot of people are saying it's rushed. Possible. But is there a history of rushing covers? Not that we've seen, all the others have been spectacular, detailed, and thorough. What would they gain by rushing it? They could meet deadlines sooner, have something to share with the audience since we're in a weird period. But they could also damage their marketing with a subpar product, especially given the series' popularity. Why do we think the cover looks rushed? Its simplicity, its different mood. But, again, Shannon said that was intentional. There's Keefe's appearance, which is really hit or miss for people. I don't think Keefe not looking as attractive as people imagine/want is a result of rushing, but because there's an impossible standard for him as The Boy of the series. And so on and so forth.
The point of that being we've come to this conclusion, I think, hastily. While book 9.5 wasn't the original plan so of course timelines change, I don't think S&S has a history or motive to rush. There's already an established precedent for delays when necessary, the cover came out later than others, and there's (i think) a solid, purposeful reason the mood is different.
Could I be wrong? Absolutely. But the rapidity of the conclusion and with how much it feels we've been outsourcing our dislike the past few years I'm started to feel a little skeptical. Boy who cried wolf kinda thing. Was it rushed again, or do we just not like it? Feels like a slapstick explanation without further examination
And of course you don't have to analyze everything, but some things are a bit more complex, you know?
Point is: I think we're overusing these explanations (pressured, rushed) and at this point if we don't delve further into it it starts to lose its meaning. There is an argument for being rushed and pressured! But without getting into it, I can't tell if we're thinking it through or just avoiding saying we don't like something for fear of judgment/reprisal.
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angelguk · 4 years
Text
→ pu$$y fairy — a jeongguk scenario
member: jeon jungkook
word count: 3.2k
genre: smut + college!au + jeongguk and oc are in a weird fwbs without the friendship part just the benefits except jaykay lowkey has feelings + virginity au
warnings: virgin!oc / blowjob / we talk about dicks for a bit / oc is strange / jaykay is confused / cum swallowing / first times / not really edited / mingyu the meddling best fwend
soundtrack: on the way, jhene aiko + hold on (slowed and reverb), the internet
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Jeongguk doesn’t hate Mingyu. He truly doesn’t. He is one of his closest friends after all; he’d held him up after Jeongguk had dumped half a keg down his throat and his legs had promptly collapsed.  He’d also been a successful wingman for when Jeongguk was aiming to add Seolhyun to the list of girls he’d bagged, sent pictures of his organic chemistry notes when Jeongguk had missed more than half of the classes in high school and didn’t laugh at him when he was heart-broken over Sua and borderline depressed. He was a true friend; someone Jeongguk could rely on. It was a simple brother-like relationship that Jeongguk deeply treasured. So no, he could never hate Mingyu – but he could absolutely long to punch that insufferable asshole in the face.
He should have known this was going to go downhill exceptionally fast the moment you stumbled into his room, wide-eyed and nervous in your unsure steps. When his pants had hit the ground, the shock in your eyes was a dead giveaway to how messy this whole arrangement was going to be. The second clear sign was when you jumped out his window because the sight of his bare dick terrified you.
And this was all the result of Mingyu being a meddling shit who didn’t know when to mind his business.
He remembers it with a clarity that makes his shoulders tense, how Mingyu had snuck you into the conversation while twisting a soju bottle in his hands.
“Yo… JK…. You mind if I ask you a question?” He’d said. Jeongguk shrugged, focused on flipping the meat on the grill because he was starving and the prospect of cooked meat was a lot more appealing than feigning interest in a conversation. “Alright…," Mingyu took his silence as a cue to speak. “Have you ever fucked a virgin?”
He should have known then. He really should have known.
“I don’t know. I don’t ask any questions when I’m hard,” Jeongguk had replied, unknowing of the dangerous path this conversation was guiding him down.
“Yeah and most of the time you don’t fuck on an actual bed. I’m not even surprised you don’t ask questions.”
“Hey!” Jeongguk had swung the tongs around. “I ask important ones, like consent and making sure we’ve got a condom around. But virginity? Not my concern.”
“Seems a bit…. Whorish to me.”
“Not whorish. I just have my priorities elsewhere… Like cumming for example.”
Mingyu had sighed as he poured him a shot, the air leaving his lips heavy. “I shouldn’t even be asking you to be honest. You’re a decent guy but your kind of a dickhead when it comes to sex.”
“How does not pondering on virginity make me dickhead? Again, as I said, priorities are elsewhere.”
“Dude you’ve never even tried to have meaningful sex at least once in your life. When was the last time you were actually emotionally invested in the person you were sleeping with? Hmm?”
The answer was Sua and he knew that but Mingyu was decent enough to keep her name out of his mouth, the judging look in his eyes saying enough.
“You know… I don’t do well with the whole emotional thing. I prefer it physical. It’s less messy. But what does this even have to do with virginity?” Jeongguk hated to admit it but he was somewhat interested in where this conversation was going. If only he knew it was leading to a massive train wreck of the one thing, he steered clear from – emotions.
Mingyu had just sighed again, tipping the soju bottle into his shot glass once more. “There’s a girl who I’d like you to meet.”
He’d scoffed, mouth stuffed with a perilla leaf wrap. “You know I don’t do blind dates.”
“It’s not a blind date,” Mingyu had retorted, the glance he threw at his friend’s direction precarious. “She wants you to take her virginity.”
Jeongguk had choked. Of course, he had. Even if sex didn’t mean much to him, taking someone’s first time like that felt very transactional. And Jeongguk wasn’t that big of a dickhead. But then Mingyu had opened his mouth, spewing various details about your life to him that he would rather have not heard over a KBBQ lunch. You were a friend from one of his business lectures, rather eccentric but sweet and funny. You were also a virgin and terrified of approaching men on your own, one of the reasons Mingyu had sprung up this arrangement. Jeongguk wasn’t one to fall into things like this but it was too late. Mingyu was a marketing major for a reason, he knew how to spin words in his favour, convince people into agreeing to things that they normally would not. And that’s how Jeongguk found himself staring at your retreating figure after you’d thrown your body right out his window, landing hard on the lawn of the house he rented with Namjoon and Seokjin. The crazy thing was that you’d gotten up immediately, not showing any sign of a broken bone or injuries, before promptly sprinting down the road to the bus stop. He should have known then. He really should have known. And yet, here he is, pants discarded on the floor of his room and his dick aching from being unrelieved for longer than it’s ever been, while you crouch over him, squinting at his penis like it’s a foreign object that could kill you.
“Could you please stop staring at my penis like that.” He says it out of frustration, but also the way you’re examining his length makes him feel self-conscious in a way he hasn’t felt like in a long time.
“Sorry,” you murmur, not breaking eye contact with his dick. “I’m just… fascinated. It’s rather….” The sentence tapers out and you swallow hard as if it pains you to admit it, “...Ugly.”
Jeongguk decides then and there he hates you.
“I mean... It’s not that it’s ugly!” you swiftly attempt to amend, catching the glare he directs at you. “It’s also big!”
“I know. And you just said it was ugly,” Jeongguk retorts, weighing the options in his head. Either get a poor blowjob from a girl he’s terrified of (but also bizarrely attracted too) or kick you out of his room and finish himself off. The situation sucks either way but it’s better than the last time when you’d leapt out of the window like a gazelle.
“I misspoke,” you say, gently falling onto your knees. You flash him a shy smile, a soft delicate little thing that makes your eyes glitter and Jeongguk instantly picks the first option. “It’s just different to what I expected it to look like.”
He scoffs, swallowing hard on the sudden lump in his throat. “There’s no way you haven’t seen a dick before. You don’t watch porn?”
The grimace you make is enough of an answer. “I have… Not all the time though, it’s too much for me sometimes. Also, it’s weird seeing it in real life and not, like, through a screen.”
“Noted. But still, it’s not that ugly,” Jeongguk murmurs, trying not to compare his penis to the visuals he has in his head. His pride is wounded from that comment he won’t deny it.
“It kinda is,” you reply. Jeongguk flicks your forehead in retaliation. “Ow! Why’d you do that.” There’s that stupid pout in your lips as you glower at him. He despises how his dick twitches at the sudden thought of your pretty mouth wrapped around his length. Despises it even more when you gasp at the slight motion trembling through him. “It moves?!”
“Yeah,” Jeongguk sighs, wondering how on Earth you’re over the age of twenty and still like this. “It does. Also, don’t insult my dick. It’s rude.”
“Sorry again,” you pause as if you’re considering whether what you might utter next is offensive. You open your mouth anyway, unable to comprehend the fact that your words are slowly chipping away at his ego. “It’s kinda scary that it moves.”
“Oh my god, you are the literal worst.” Jeongguk thinks his boner might evaporate. It’s a miracle it’s lasted this long. You’d sauntered into his room around half an hour again and he’d been hard from the get-go. Truly amazing his balls hadn’t shrivelled up yet. “You know you’re about to blow me off right?”
“I know… I’m stupid,” you counter, eyebrows furrowing together like you’re attempting to figure out exactly how Jeongguk’s dick works. It’d be very simple if you just asked him. It’s essentially an up and down motion, some swirls, a lot of wetness. Nothing too difficult. But when you glance up at him, the innocent glaze over your eyes almost hopeless, he can tell it feels the same as defusing a bomb. “I just… Don’t know what to do. Show me?”
And there it is - the foolish little thing that landed Jeongguk here half-naked on the edge of his bed in the first place. Even though you were mildly repulsed by the male autonomy you were still so eager to learn. Something Jeongguk didn’t know he would be into until you posed that question and his balls tightened in a way they have never done before.
“Okay,” he mumbles, hoping you don’t suspect the twitch that runs through his length when you say that. Not like you would, to be fair.
But then you sweep your hair back, lean in fast, no preparation or anything before your breath is brushing against his crotch and Jeongguk nearly screams.
“Woah, woah, woah! I thought you just asked me to show you? What are you doing?” Maybe he scuttles further down the bed, terrified of the rush of heat you send straight to his gut.  
Your eyes flicker upward, bright and ingenuous. “Am I doing it wrong?”
“You’re not -,” Jeongguk sighs breath weighing through the air. “You’re not doing it wrong. I just think... We should go slow right? It’s your first time? Maybe don’t rush into it?”
“I watched a YouTube video and they said to do it like that,” you reply. Jeongguk can’t help but blink at you, brain reeling from attempting to understand your being.
“You watched a - never mind. You’re giving me a headache. And I thought you knew nothing. Porn would have been a better research alternative but to each their own.”
“I did it for preparation! I didn't know it’d be this nerve-wracking in real life. And, I told you, real dicks are gross. She used a dildo.”
“How is a dildo any different to a real dick?” Jeongguk fingers dig into the mattress a little harder when you lean it once more, gingerly resting your head against his knee.
“It’s just different. Less grotesque. And they come in various colours.”
He might just actually scream. “It’s literally made to replicate a penis.”
You sigh, your breath skipping against his skin. The room is suddenly tight, closing in on him and you’re not even really touching him. And then you catch your lip between your teeth, pressing down with a quick thoughtful bite. “I think you’re deflecting right now.”
“I’m not,” he splutters. “Why would I even be deflecting right now?”
“I mean, we’re having a conversation about dildos when your dick is hard and I’m meant to be blowing you. Sounds like deflection doesn’t it?” He hates the way your eyes glitter, bright and captivating as your gaze locks into his.
“Like I said,” Jeongguk retorts, “We should take it slow.”
“Okay then. I’m done talking about dildos unless you have anything else to add?”
“I don’t,” he murmurs, “Okay then, onto giving a blowjob.”
“Onto giving a blowjob,” you reiterate. And then, like a psychopath, you smile. “Where should I start?”
He hates that body is on edge right now, hands trembling even though he hides them by squeezing his bed-sheets tight. “Try giving it a lick first? You can put your hand around the base too - if you want to.”
“Here?” His knees nearly buckle when you wrap your warm palm around his length, grip firm around the base of his cock. But that’s nothing to the gentle lap of your tongue against the side of his cock, a quick little thing and nearly launches him off the bed.
“Oh - uh - yeah, there.” His voice sounds far off and without warning your mouth is against him once more, tongue a sinful little thing that slips along his length, wet and warm and so sneaky he’s unsure of what to respond with apart from an instinctual buck of his hips. It’s easy like this, your tongue pressed against his cock and your hands slowly dragging upwards, placing a perfect pressure along his length that leaves him sighing into the air of his bedroom. Your movements grow more direct, reading the increasing desperation in Jeongguk’s body as he moves closer and closer to you, waiting until you feel sure enough. And then, finally, your mouth sinks onto him.
He nearly whimpers. Nearly. There’s a heat pooling in his gut and ebbs through every muscle and nerve, the coil of his desire springing tighter with each inch that slips down your throat. You take him so well, Jeongguk can’t help but watch in awe, the wideness in your eyes making him harder than he’s ever been in his life. Even with your inexperience, the way you swallow his cock is obscene. It’s an imagery Jeongguk engraves in his memory, purposefully stored because he knows he’ll think about it whenever his desires override his logical thoughts again. You lap him up like you want this, a soft moan echoing from your throat and along his length as you move deeper, mouth plaint to his dick. He forces himself to sit still, give you the time to adjust, lick and taste to your leisure, forcing the impending wave of heat back down into his gut. He holds it there even when you move away, the sound of your wet mouth popping off his dick permeating the air.
And of course, you lick your lips afterwards, a swift swipe of your pink tongue against them, your eyes trained on his.
“Like that?” you ask.
Jeongguk’s going to die. He is. And you’ll be the reason why listed on his death certificate.
“Yeah,” he murmurs, chest tight with want. “Like that.”
You lean back in without question, mouth taking his length like you were made for it and your hand works against the parts of him you can’t reach just yet. His mind wanders as his eyes take in this sight of you, on your knees and mouth open wide just for him. Someday he’d like to see if you could truly take his length, all of it. Down your throat. Hard and fast like his hips wanted to go. But this is more than perfect. How you concentrate on blowing him like you want to see him spill himself down your throat. It’s almost adorable, the earnestness in your gaze every time your eyes flicker upwards as your mouth moves along his cock. He likes this more than he’s willing to admit, the slowness in your pace, how your tongue is shy sometimes when it laves against his tip. It’s a change from what he usually gets - and a welcome one too. A tiny part of him feels like it would be fitting to hold your hand. You’re so pretty too, especially when your lips are on him. He’d like to take care of you, see what your face looked like when his tongue was deep inside of you, know what your taste like as you moan out his name. He doesn’t even register the words as they leave his mouth, head lost in the images colouring his thoughts.
“Taking me so well, baby,” he can’t help the grunt, the pet name natural to him, “So pretty with my cock in your mouth.”
And you hum like you like it - like you like pleasing him, sinking further down until his tip bumps against the back of your throat. The zip down his spine nearly sends him spiralling.
“Baby,” he feels it then, when your eyes shift to meet his, the snap in his gut. “F-fuck, I’m gonna cum. You need to stop right now if you don’t want to down your throat.”
But you don’t, moving faster like the twitch of his dick in your mouth spurs him on, your lips firm as they wrap around him. He doesn’t hold in his moves this time, hips gently moving up to meet your mouth, the tremor running through his bulky thighs nothing but a warning before it hits him hard. A wave of heat, melting through his muscles as his eyes flutter shut, your tongue lapping him right up, no protest as he unravels down your throat. It’s over in an instant but Jeongguk feels like mush, head floating and his bones soft with how hard his back hits the mattress. You pull off his length a second later, letting him feel you swallow all of him first.
“Holy shit.” His mouth is still disconnected from his brain.
There’s a beat of silence, so awkward that Jeongguk shuffles himself back onto his elbows even though his bones feel like giving way. And then your laugh tinkles through the air, a soft gentle thing that makes his heart seize in his chest.
“That… wasn’t so bad,” you say, staring at him with an ease that spikes an urge to press his lips against yours in his heart.
“Oh,” he replies, like an idiot. “You liked it?”
“Well, it didn’t suck… pun intended. Your moans are really loud.”
Jeongguk blushes - he blushes - even after the stupid joke you made.
“Um, yeah. I do, I guess. Sorry, I kind of forgot to show you what to do. But you’re a bit of a natural, to be honest.” He abhors the diffidence in his voice.
“I guessed that,” you retort, the smile on your face hypnotic, “From your really loud moaning.”
“Can you - fuck how do you ruin any intimate moment when it happens?”
“Guess I’m a natural at that too,” you say it with a laugh, and Jeongguk can’t help the smile that tugs against his lips.
“Um,” he tries, fully aware of the front view seat you were getting of his soft dick. He sits up to try and shield it, feeling awfully exposed. “If you’d like… I could return the favour?”
“No, I’m good.” There’s zero hesitation in your voice and you’re up before Jeongguk can think of a decent excuse to keep you in his room. “Maybe another time? I’ll text you. Bye Jeongguk.”
It’s then he regrets not encouraging you to undress earlier, his assumption that this would be the worst blowjob of his life incredibly incorrect. Perhaps if your clothes were scattered around his bedroom he could have found a way to convince you into his sheets while you searched for them. But you’re fully dressed, already bounding out of his door like his dick wasn’t down your throat moments ago. He watches you go with forlornness, mouth dry with words he’s incapable of expressing at this very instance and his heart oddly warm at the sight of your skipping away with a carefreeness he admires. He still hates that you’re leaving, perhaps the only positive of this situation is that you’re using his bedroom door instead of his window.
“Bye,” Jeongguk mumbles into the vacant air. You don’t even catch it, shooting him a quick grin before you’re bounding down the stairs as if this doesn’t even matter to you. A stumble on a stepping stone to something greater. He plucks up his phone, pants still lost somewhere on the floor. Blocking Mingyu for twenty-four hours should be enough of a punishment, right?
mingyu the man [10:21pm]
bro..
you alive?
jaykay [10:26pm]
i focking hate u
u know that right?
mingyu the man [10:31pm]
you dont my g
how was it?
did she jump out the window this time?
jaykay [10:34pm]
worse
mingyu the man [10:37pm]
bro wtf wot she do??
jaykay [10:40pm]
she actually gave me head
mingyu the man [10:45pm]
????
how is that worse dude you’re just as weird as her
jaykay [10:46pm]
ITS WORSE CAUSE I LIKED IT
mingyu the man [10:51pm]
damn....
you like crazy coochie don’t you
jaykay [10:52pm]
WHAT R U EVEN
MAN FUCK
I HATE U
mingyu the man [10:53pm]
lmao u don’t i brought her into your life u lurve me
im best man for the wedding
not jaehyun
u got dat right
jaykay [10:56pm]
i hope you fall into a ditch and die
mingyu the man [10:58pm]
okay big man
you gon see her again tho?
jaykay [10:59pm]
....maybe
idk man im fucked up right now
like???
SHE JUMPED OUT THE WINDOW??
mingyu the man [11:01pm]
and u still invited her over to suck your dick again
crazy coochie got u bad bruh
jaykay [11:06pm]
FUCK U
mingyu the man [11:11pm]
mhmm if thats what u say
i have a class wid her to tomorrow
any messages u want to pass on?
hello?
[mingyu the man is blocked]
hello? jaykayyyyyy
JAYKAY
SEAGULL
damn he got it bad
3K notes · View notes
Hello, Em! I was wondering if you would mind helping me find my type? I’ve narrowed it down to the Si-doms (slight margin of error for the IFP types, but I don’t see enough evidence for Ne or Se to be sure), but from there I’m having a hard time determining which fits better. I feel weakest when I don’t have much structure, and at work, I can be a bit of a pain because I’m always asking for clarification on new tasks. In college, I always felt like the vague assignments where the instructor (1)
doesn’t actually tell what they want were the worst. Most people see me as the logical one in the group. I think part of why I’ve maintained that image is that most of my family (especially my mom’s side) has never learned how to deal with their emotions well, so they try to always joke or become sarcastic. I’ve always gotten along with my dad’s family because I never feel like I’m being used as some sort of verbal target practice. I’ve never been good with expressing how I feel and prefer to (2
show it through actions. Whenever I’m dealing with family, I’m always honest (or else just quiet), and even when I’m talking to someone I don’t know well, I have a hard time softening the blow. I try, but it’s not something that comes easily. I’m typically relieved when someone else can take over dealing with people because I hate having to deal with people when they get upset. I typically take a quick dislike to people I think are too dramatic, but as long as they’re nice I can get over (3)
it fairly quickly. One of my favorite things about my boss is that he always asks how I’m doing when I come in in the morning and he always willing to jump in and cover shifts if he thinks someone’s not feeling well. I also have a difficult time with people who jump into things without thinking. One of my major issues with my mom is that I sometimes feel like I’m having to constantly re-plan things around her last-minute decisions. One of the things that my dad always points (4)
out as a weakness is that I’m too nice to people. I have a really hard time saying no to people, and I can be really easy to guilt trip. I’ve been pulled into a lot of things I really didn’t want to do because someone else talked me into it. A few years ago, I went with a group to an amusement park, and I got dragged along on things that I hated, all because my cousin asked. Even on the occasions when I have stood my ground, it’s taken a huge toll on me to know that I’ve disappointed someone (5)
I’m often torn between what others say about me and what I actually think. Every time I rediscover MBTI I get sucked into this endless loop of trying to somehow make sense of all the things others have said about me, what I think, and how it fits into the system. I was trying to pick a college major, I was constantly asking others what they thought would be a good choice, because I genuinely didn’t know what I wanted. I knew things I didn’t want (marketing psych, which I felt were mercenary) (6)
but I was torn between what I felt I ought to do (something that helped others) and what I was really interested in (history). I never thought of myself as good with people, but most people I know tell me that I come off as very sweet and likeable. Maybe not warm, but approachable and unintimidating. I tend to come off as studying people and waiting to judge them, even though there are some things where I just say NOPE and it can take years for me to change my mind. (7)
I did that when I first met my sister’s now husband. I thought they were rushing things and I was pretty upset over how much my sister had changed after they met. I’m still warming up to him, but he seems harmless. I’ve never been one to share my feelings with other people, but it can be so helpful to at least see them written out. I typically will have a decent idea of what I feel, but writing it down helps me really understand it and see when I’m really just being silly. Thank you!! (8)
---------------
Hi anon,
This absolutely sounds like ISFJ; I would rule out the Fi-Te axis completely given the emphasis on what other people want and their opinions and I suspect the only reason you considered high Fi was the commonly-found, but in my opinion incorrect statement that Fi users are more private with their emotions.
Your conclusion of high Si seems right; you have difficulties with spontaneity and prefer clear, specific instructions, and prefer to observe before making up your mind though can be very slow to change it, and this post has a lot of very concrete examples.
As mentioned the strong emphasis on what other people want, at times to the exclusion of what you want, and placing a high value on social niceties seems clearly like Fe. Not all high Te users are sarcastic but I've found a lot of them (myself included) are at least very comfortable with it/don't mind a little verbal target practice as long as they can return it to sender. ISTJs (and other TJs) are also typically far more comfortable turning down requests from others and tend not to rely on others quite as much for personal decisions or self-assessment, especially since it sounds you're either towards the end of your college career or shortly post-college and would probably have at least some capacity to use tert Fi if you had it.
One thing I've thought about a lot regarding FJs and being "the logical one" is that I do think self-assessements are sometimes erroneous, but also, especially if you're in your early-to-mid-20s and especially if you have a more spontaneous friend group, an ISFJ very well might be the logical one. Maybe not in the academic sense of logical, but in terms of common sense and making decent life decisions, yeah, an ISFJ will probably outdo most ENTPs even if the latter's Ti is higher, because a lot of behaviors motivated by Si and Fe (caution, consideration for the feelings of others) are smart things to do in terms of like, living life. It's less "logical" than "reasonable", but that's a pretty nitpicky distinction on my part. Plenty of deeply logical people are actually wildly unrealistic, because people don't behave logically, so the actual reasonable thing to do is, well, behave like an ISFJ and take past behaviors and relevant context and how people might feel into account.
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duskkodesh · 2 years
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Spoiler free and spoiler review of Morbius from a comic lover’s perspective.
Okay, you know how this works. Spoiler free is up here. Spoilers will be under the cut. You have been warned!!!
First of all... WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST WATCH?! WHAT WAS THAT? IT CERTAINLY WASN’T MY FAVORITE CHARACTER OF ALL TIME. NOPE.  Spoiler free: Reviews saying it was confusing were not lies. It was a mess. Scenes felt like they were written by entirely different people and then thrown together, characters seem to have no relationship to one another, actors don’t express emotion except Matt Smith who is an absolute mad lad and I can’t hate him. Worst crime is there’s characters who seem entirely like a waste, they never get to really serve any pivotal role, and you get the sinking feeling that there was a board of Sony executives with a wishlist sitting and picking apart the script. The entire feeling of the film is ‘marketing decision’ and the ending is the least satisfying cinematic ending I’ve seen since The Lost World.
So, onto the spoilers
PLOT: The only things really in character for Morb are his sense of humor, altruism, and how much he absolutely gets the piss beat out of him. Other than that the character was unrecognizable and Leto’s stiff as a board acting did not help. The movie starts with the bat trap scene. You’ve seen almost all of it. Then childhood bits, cheesy but not the worst part of the film. Matt Smith’s character is Lucian, a kid who gets nicknamed Milo by a young Michael. We get not enough interaction to buy them really being friends then it’s onto the future. Morb is gifted, gets a scholarship, invents artificial blood, receives a Nobel prize which he refuses... god knows why. He’s a director at Horizon labs and working on his cure. Milo is an adult and funding his research. The two still speak but Matt Smith is the better actor here and carries the conversations. Martine also works at the labs and they aren’t together but there’s supposed to be chemistry... I guess? I wasn’t feeling it.  So, boat, tests, mercs, change, growling with bad CGI, Nom nom nom, and they at least kept canon with the fact he jumps off the boat. He sneaks back to the labs, runs tests on himself. Feeds on artificial blood and leaves out his vials of the serum that changed him. Milo checks on him, insists on this cure Michael has and they fight about it. Cliche’s happen, obviously he steals a vial.  Morb gets arrested, Milo visits him and lets it show that he used the serum. Morb vamps out and breaks out. They spend a lot of cam time on Milo turning evil, so much that for a bit I wondered if he was the main character. and OH MY GOD GUYS, the CG vampire head on Matt Smith is CRAZY. I had to hold in laughter. Milo and Morb fight, Milo kills ‘Nicholas’ AKA Jared Harris their older mutual mentor. Milo kills Martine, Morb finds her and drinks her blood. Are you ready for this shit?  The cam shoes a drop of Morb’s blood falling to Martine’s lips... YEP. Milo has a final big fight with Morb where... GET THIS. HE WINS BY COMMANDING A SWARM OF BATS. I wish I made that up. Deus ex battica. Martine is showed waking from death, Morb flees the scene. Stroud stands around having done very little in the plot... and the credits roll. That’s it. Then we get post credit scenes where Vulture shows up, goes free, then approaches Morb to ask if he’d work with him. Morb is in the sinister six, I’m so fucking done... I rant for an hour on the way home and my own SPOUSE Says he thinks it wasn’t as bad as Venom. HERESY. Obviously that’s just an outline, there’s more to it but... Okay, where’s my notes. My reviewer points... yessir. 
Acting: Bad, Tyrese Gibson is meh... Matt Smith is crazy and enjoyable. Everyone else is bad.
SFX: Some scenes look great, others the bodies ragdoll like rubber, or faces look ridiculous. It goes from bad to good so many times I had whiplash.
 Plot coherence: It’s not great... I’m gonna be honest. I’ve read better fanfic.
Soundtrack: Sometimes booming when it doesn’t need to be, but overall servicable. Some is absolutely genius like the music Matt Smith dances to.
Accuracy to Morb’s canon personality: Not... really? I mean he actively manages to NOT really make any huge bad decisions after he wakes up on the boat and that’s just not the loser I know. Points for him making very dry jokes and getting bossed around by Martine.
Chemistry between characters: Hoo boy, no. Just no. When Morb and Martine kiss I was just like ..”Why?”
Whether they did anything innovative: The flight effects and the bullet time were retro but honestly cool. I can’t hate on them.
And whether they dropped any comic easter eggs for Morb fans in particular. I didn’t really catch anything. Even lab numbers I thought would correspond to Marvel issues... really didn’t. It was a meh. Overall 5/10 because it’s a good laugh watch. Now, I need to cleanse my brain with old comic issues.
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laulink · 3 years
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So I've mentioned before that usually poly ships don't really appeal to me because there's always one of the relationships that I like more or less than the others and so the ship entirely loses its appeal for me because of that
But you know what poly ship I actually DO like ?
Zelda x Lana x Link from Zelda Hyrule Warriors
They're just- They're great together, ok ? All of them
Zelda and Link are some kind of fated lovers, two souls bound by destiny and powers beyond comprehension and the two we meet in Hyrule Warriors really give off that whole soulmate feel since their very first meeting, it's adorable. Link's expression when they fail to find Zelda says it all : he's not just looking for his princess, he's looking for someone he's genuinely worried about, someone he feels a connection with, and he's scared he'll lose her before he could even properly talk to her.
Lana has been in love with Link for... well, we don't know how long, but she's been in love with all of his reincarnations, she watched their lives to see more of him until the day she couldn't stand it anymore and Ganondorf used the power of her love to turn her full evil, so that says something about how strong her feelings are. Also she values Link's happiness over her own feelings because she knows she can't destroy the link he shares with Zelda and she just wants him to be happy even if it's not with her and that will always be my #1 sign that someone is a good person and their feelings are real and genuine.
Zelda and Lana don't interact much in the game's story, but the few times they do, Zelda is nothing but kind and friendly to Lana, even being the one to ask her if they'll ever meet again, even though they had just heard Cya say that Lana wants to make Link hers and at this point we're supposed to have accepted that Link and Zelda are soulmates, so she'd have pretty understandable reasons to not really want Lana around the boy she's supposedly attracted to. And you know how the characters have little cheering phrases for each other when the player character reaches a certain amount of kills in a battle ? I just find the phrases between Lana and Zelda to be absolutely adorable. I think they're the most admirative bunch of the game (aside from Zelda's line to Link and Proxie's lines for Zelda, but that works in the poly ship idea's direction)
Also by the end of the game all three of them hold a piece of the Triforce and I think it would be pretty great to see the three holders coming together, loving each other, forming a whole the same way the three parts of the Triforce are meant to.
So that's for canon information, which admittedly is just a basis for headcanons given how scarce it is, so here are my own :
- Zelda is attracted to Link, sure, but I also think she's really attracted to Lana for the reasons cited above : she's always kind and friendly to her, never suspicious even when she learns that Lana and Cya used to be the same person, she's the one who speaks out when Lana is leaving to express her desire to see her again, etc.
- Zelda's feelings and behaviour toward Lana would surely have an effect on her because, honestly : look at Zelda, look at her smile, imagine being on the receiving end of it, and dare tell me you wouldn't propose to her in the same breath. Anyway, I think Lana would develop a bit of a crush on the princess, especially if she's trying to move on from her feelings for Link because she thinks it's hopeless. She wouldn't be trying to fall for someone else, much less the princess since she's just as inaccessible as the hero, but I think she'd be trying to put some distance between herself and her feelings for Link, try to talk to her friends more and do something other than obsessing over the boy, and develop her relationship with Zelda as a consequence. When she realises she has a crush on Zelda now ? She just screams and hits her head on a wall because GODDAMNIT she did it again. Of all the people in Hyrule, her next crush just HAD to be the one her old crush was fated to be with.
- Meanwhile, Link is around two gorgeous, smart, kind, supportive girls who seem to like him and while he's been attracted to the princess since the first time he saw her, I think he would have developed a close bond with Lana too while fighting together. She's playful and cute, but also strong and reliable, and I think, in the weeks where he fights with Lana and doesn't know where Zelda is, he would develop a small crush on her, which wouldn't really leave even after the princess' official return and would actually only grow when he learns the truth about Lana's birth and feelings.
- now fast forward to the end of the game, the three had some time to sit down and think through their feelings and realise that they like both of the others and have a hard time deciding what to do about it. Or rather, Lana thinks she should just exile herself before she falls in love with the Goddess or something, but Link and Zelda do ponder what they should do, because suddenly, the obvious, fated love they've heard so many tales about doesn't seem so certain and they don't know if they could ever be truly happy without the witch who's wormed her way into their hearts.
- I think Zelda would approach Link to tell him about it first. She's a reasonable, mature young woman who tries to talk things through and see from other people's perspective, so I think her go to move would be to talk about it, but Lana's feelings have been hurt enough as it is, so she'd go to Link first to try and see things a bit more clearly before saying anything to Lana. Thanks to that, they realise that they both like each other and Lana as well, and so they decide to try and see what Lana thinks of them.
- Problem is, like I said, Lana thinks she should self-exile before her stupid heart makes one more stupid decision about who she should be in love with, and that starts by avoiding her crushes at any cost. Luckily, Zelda and Link end up cornering her, but her emotions are so volatile at this point that she just blurts out that she likes them both and doesn't know what to do about it anymore (among many other things and in a way that's a bit hard for the other two to understand until something clicks and a lightbulb goes off in their heads). Of course, Zelda and Link are elated and quick to tell her that they both like her too and maybe they could try all loving each other ? There's a lot of smiles and tears and hugs and they're all really happy.
- They thought it would take some time to adjust to this new kind of relationship, but not at all : they clicked together like pieces of the same puzzle, loving toward each other and comfortable showing it. Lana was the shyest of them at first since she was still half-convinced this was a dream and she would wake up any moment, but one adoring look from her partners (because let's be honest, Zelda and Link, once aware of their feelings and knowing that they are returned, would be the loveliest, dorkiest, goofiest, most adoring partners anyone in Hyrule has ever had) would reassure her right away, and before long she starts being more open about her affections and showing her love for Zelda and Link more easily.
- since they're all cinnamon rolls but two of them are socially awkward and the other is leading a country at age 19 and probably has A Lot to deal with, I think them trying to comfort each other when one is looking glum or stressed would be pretty fun. Like, when Zelda is overworking herself with the kingdom's affairs, the other two will team up to try and ease off her burdens by taking some themselves, but after reading the same piece of paperwork 5 times and still not understanding what it is even for, they give up and just work with Impa to clear off Zelda's schedule for one evening and prepare a nice dinner and relaxing bath for her so she can at least recharge her batteries. Sometimes though, she has so much to do they can't even manage that, so they at least try to support her as much as they can in the little ways (bringing her tea and cake when she's been holed up in her office for hours, taking her to bed when she's fallen asleep on her desk, taking care of the minor demands that can be time-consuming but not really difficult to resolve, etc). Zelda loves them for it and always makes sure to let them know.
(- they try to cook dinner themselves and this in itself deserves a whole post because they try to do something GREAT and that Zelda will love but they are NOT royal level cooks. Far from it. In a modern AU, they'd be living off of ramen noodles. In the end nothing they prepared is edible so they end up asking the cooks to prepare something, but Zelda is still very touched (and amused))
- When Lana is depressed (because she thinks of Cya or has a moment of self-doubt), Link tries to cheer her up by taking her on a nice walk, going to the market together, playing games, or something like that, while Zelda will bring her flowers and tasty treats or just cuddle with her for a while, which is often enough to make Lana feel much better. On the worst occasions, Zelda takes one or two days off and Link and her take Lana on a trip, just the three of them, to have fun and just be together until the bad moment passes. But the first time Lana said she was sad because she was thinking of what happened to Cya and the fact that she couldn't experience the happiness Lana now had with Zelda and Link ? Dumbass princess who thinks she can do anything because she runs a country decided "hey, how about we try to raise the dead ?" and Link had to do damage control. Impa had to step in at some point to prevent Zelda from desecrating holy grounds.
- When Link is glummy, it's usually about pretty deep stuff like destiny and his past lives (for example, the fact that his past lives and the princesses from the past never met their Lana causes him great distress because now he can't imagine his life without her or Zelda, so he gets anxious thinking that his past incarnations might have spent their whole lives feeling a hole somewhere in their life). Zelda and Lana usually try to cheer him up with cuddles, afternoon naps in the gardens, reading together in the library or other quiet, relaxing activities, which he loves and helps ease his mind, but the first time the gloominess lingered... Let's just say that dumbass princess moment 2.0 + time witch are not a great mix when trying to cheer up a man worried about his past lives. Impa had to step in again, this time to prevent some really fucked up changes to the space-time continuum or whatever.
- I kinda doubt that Hyrule has laws about poly marriages, and doubt even more that poly marriage is something that's happened in the royal family before ("but what if the first born is a child between the King consort and the Queen consort, without a drop of royal blood ?"), but in any case, this is dumbass "I raise the dead and travel through time" princess we're talking about, so she manages to pass a law that makes it legal for multiple people to marry, including the royal family. She did that after Link, Lana and her had expressed interest in getting married, and the second the law was passed (in secret, she wanted it to be a surprise for her lovers), she drags them to their favourite quiet spot to relax and cuddle away from castle trouble and responsibilities and she proposes to them. Link and Lana tackle her to the ground and cover her in kisses while laughing and crying and- ok, it's a bit of a mess, but they're happy and they're gonna get MARRIED ! The first time the girls call each other "wife", Link their "husband" and Link calls them his "wives", they cry a little and hug the breath out of each other.
That's all I've got for now in the SFW section (do tell me if you're interested in the NSFW headcanons) so
TL;DR : they're cute and goofy and happy and I love them.
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lgcalec · 3 years
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@lgcyura backtracked to june 8, 2021
oh my god was she in trouble. like, big, BIG trouble. was she overreacting? maybe. was it for a good reason (in her opinion)? yes. after all, it was alec’s birthday and while they’ve celebrated many of their birthdays together already, this time would be the first since they started dating–honestly, a part of her still couldn’t believe they were boyfriend and girlfriend now, and that it’s been almost half a year at that–and she wanted to do a good job. a present from your girlfriend seemed more important than one from just your friend but unfortunately, seo yura was bad at picking gifts.
what’s even worse is that alec’s gift to her on her birthday last year was amazing - and they weren’t even dating then. how could she top that? even if she likes him, yura refused to lose because her competitive streak wouldn’t let her but she would really need to work hard to figure out what to get him. yura knew alec would probably say he’d be happy with anything she’d give him but she didn’t want a response like that, she wanted to give him something good (or at least, meaningful, and not just something she picked randomly or without thought) since he deserved it.
but what was ‘good’? yura spent weeks pondering over this, searching up articles and lists of ‘best gifts to give your boyfriend’ for ideas, casually checking out men’s stores and gift shops if she happened to pass by one, even asking some friends for advice (of course, she tried to be vague about who she was buying a gift for) until she finally settled on something.
in a white box, wrapped in a red ribbon and bow on top, are two phone cases that made her think of alec (one of a cute dog–that was actually matching with the cat version she bought herself because she couldn’t help it okay?!–and one with three dogs that was more minimalist so he could alternate and because she didn’t want to make it obvious that they had couple cases – or in the case he didn’t like it), surrounded by some of his favourite snacks and candies. on top was a hat she hoped–prayed–he’d like along with a card that had a message written inside (that yes, she did agonize over for a while just to decide if she should end it with “love, yura” or not).
happy birthday, alec!! ◡̈ you said you’re not that good at presents but neither am i so i guess this is why we get along? i’m kidding! i did try to get you something you might like AND you could use so i hope i didn’t fail… if you don’t like it, tell me and i’ll get you something better, okay? i hope you have a good day, a better year, and i’m still saving my gift card to use at that restaurant with you so let’s go soon! - yura ♡
then, she put the gift box into a normal shopping bag, bribed one of their close friends to deliver it to alec to raise less suspicions, and also made them send proof of delivering it successfully so she could be sure. once she receives a photo of the bag in front of alec’s apartment door, yura sends him a text.
sent to ↝ sunshine ☀️ ↪ i hope ur home right now or ur going to be soon because there’s something waiting for u… ↪ i’ll leave it up to your imagination on what it is :) ↪ ps. i got a new phone case ↪ it’s cute, right? ↪ [image attached]
hopefully alec understood what the image meant after he opened his gift but if not, well… she wasn’t going to admit it plainly either. she already felt embarrassed enough as it is with the rest of the gift and writing the message in the card because yura? being cute and lovey-dovey? she wasn’t good at expressing herself but for alec, she would try her best to be more honest.
     on the day of his birthday, he really doesn’t expect much. his younger sister texts him of course, and he calls his parents to chat with them a bit but not for long because of timezones. sometimes, when it comes to days like this, he wishes he was at home with them so his mom could make him something delicious and homemade and reminiscent of his childhood.
     but he’s here living his dream right now so he doesn’t really have room to complain.
     the surprise from the company is always nice too, the letters from the fans and the cake always being something that he looks forward to every year when his birthday approaches. and he gets greetings from his friends from high school and the other trainees and even his fellow actors.
     he won’t deny it though … there’s only really one person that he’s waiting for a message from though.
     thankfully, he’s busy enough with his schedule that he doesn’t have much time to wait and dwell on yura’s messages, mostly just immersing himself in everything that he has to do and letting the day pass him by.
     he heads home at the end of the day, tired and unexpecting when he happens across a package in front of the door of his (shared) apartment. he blinks at it for a long moment before it clicks that this is probably a birthday gift for him.
     picking it up and unlocking the door, he checks his phone to see if he had missed any messages and he won’t deny the smile that appears on his lips when he sees that the package seems to indeed be from his girlfriend.
     he toes off his shoes and places his bag down before he goes to his room, plopping down onto his bed after changing into his pajamas and then opening the present carefully. he’s not usually that sentimental or anything, but he keeps the ribbon and slides it onto his desk for safekeeping. after that is when he tugs out the card, reading it with a smile on his lips. he had expected her to have used the gift card he had given her last year but he’s genuinely pleasantly surprised that she had kept it.
     letting out a slight scoff at her implication that he might not like the gift, he sets the card onto his desk as well and turns to actually look at the presents she had gotten him. the phone cases are cute, he notes, looking at them and then at the one he was currently using which was pretty beat up and makes a note to change it after.
     his eyes light up at the hat though, since he had been in the market for a new one and he guesses he can stop looking online for one since she had so nicely gifted him it. he takes a picture of everything, including all the snacks, popping a candy into his mouth after as he settles to text her back. at the last second before he does it, he puts the hat on and snaps a selca of himself to send as well.
( 5 ) new messages: 🖤🖤🖤
> sorry i was going to reply but got distracted by the presents :~) > thank you for everything!!!! > [image] > i was going to buy a new hat so you absolutely read my mind > ur the best, as always <3
     seeing the picture she had sent of the phone case, he blinks at it for a long moment before it clicks. it’s a matching one to the one she had given him, and alec grins to himself as he pauses in his texting to swap his phone case to the one of the corgi.
( 2 ) new messages: 🖤🖤🖤
> i changed my case too!! > once again, ur the best <3
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peace-coast-island · 3 years
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Diary of a Junebug
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Making omelettes at an egg farm
Annika has an egg farm, e-i-e-i-o... On this farm she has a bunch of chickens, e-i-e-i-o!
Literally the first thing that popped in my head when Annika posted about buying the farm. I still can't believe the place is hers - and Kaisa's too - like it was totally unexpected but with how things are turning out now, I can't imagine it happening any other way!
Running an egg farm was pretty much an accidental thing. Old Mr. Elmhearst built the place about fifty years ago, becoming known as the egg and poultry man for nearby towns. Then about a few years ago, he had to go into semi-retirement for health reasons before fully retiring last year. He then sold the farm and moved away to live with family. A neighbor took care of the chickens in the meantime while waiting for someone to buy the place.
It was the neighbor, Vint, who planted the idea of Annika running the egg farm through an offhand comment. Being a farmer himself, as well as the owner of the local produce stand, keeping up the egg farm on top of that is just too much for him. He's been helping Mr. Elmhearst find buyers but it turns out that egg farmers are a niche market. Of course, Vint's willing to keep running the place on the side for as long as it takes to find a new owner, but he can only do so much.
He mentioned the dilemma to his friends, who have also been helping out in terms of keeping up and looking for potential buyers. Annika and Kaisa were hanging out at the diner with a friend when Vint approached them and the guys got to talking about the egg farm. Annika and Kaisa were aware of the situation so Kaisa offered to pass the information along to her colleagues at the hospital.
What caught Annika's attention was the money. When Vint mentioned how successful Elmhearst was in terms of the money he made, Annika was all ears. Over the next several days she did a lot of research and asked Vint about the place. No one had any idea what she was thinking - they all thought she was just curious.
Let's just say that when Annika announced that she was going to buy the egg farm, no one believed her. Even Daisy Jane and I were questioning it when she posted about it online. It's not that we didn't think she could do it - more like why would someone with absolutely no background in farming want to take on something as big as running an egg farm? Given how at the time Annika was going through a bit of a rough time, it seemed like an impulse decision. Can't blame her though, as I too would've hopped on to the first opportunity to break out of a rut no matter how out of left field it was, especially if it fell straight into my lap.
Using her life's savings, Annika bought the egg farm. She had to do some poking and prodding to get Vint and Mr. Elmhearst to sell it to her. Reluctantly, they accepted her offer, cutting the price in half and saving half that money in case Annika changed her mind. Kaisa wasn't too crazy about the idea either, but she supported Annika on this new venture, offering to help out when Vint was unavailable.
As expected, Annika had a rough transition. Up until then she had never done anything related to farming or raising chickens. She never even had her own garden or took care of more than one plant at a time. Everything was brand new to her!
No one would hold it against her if she gave up. There were many times when she wanted to throw in the towel but she said that a little voice in her head kept telling her to get back up. Annika figured that a year was enough time to figure out whether or not running an egg farm's her thing - the others weren't sure if she was going to last a few months. Again, it's not that she can't do it, it's a question of whether is this something she really wanted to do.
Fast forward about six months in and everything's changed! Things still aren't 100% smooth, but it looks like Annika's found her footing. Just when she was about to admit that raising chickens wasn't for her, she decided to give it one last go. It's still a lot of work but Annika's finally starting to enjoy it. Big plot twist, right? From finding a routine that works for her to getting more comfortable working with chickens, Annika found that running an egg farm isn't too intimidating once you finally know what you're doing.
It also helps that she has loyal customers - mainly friends and family at the moment - so that's been keeping her afloat. Even when she struggled with the farm, she managed to break even with the profits and upkeep, which is actually pretty good. Obviously she's nowhere near how Elmhearst ran the place at its peak, but if she keeps this up, maybe she'll get there in a few years. For now she's happy that she's making a profit, and that buying the farm wasn't for nothing.
Seeing the quaint little farm in the countryside with the chickens and pastoral scenery, I can see why Annika was charmed by this place. It's one thing to read about her posts about the farm online, it's another to see her run the place. Annika's always been a fast learner, but being able to pretty much run an egg farm with no experience is an impressive feat! And of course, Vint helps out whenever he can so that makes things a little easier. Annika hopes to fully run things by herself once she's got everything down.
The house is in the process of renovations since it's pretty old. Elmhearst managed to fix up the place as much as he could before selling, but there's still a lot that needs to get done. Fortunately most of what's left to be fixed isn't really anything big, but now with Kaisa in the process of moving in with Annika, she wants to make sure the house is in tip top shape before she settles in.
That's part of the reason why me and the campers are visiting here. Aside from wanting to meet up with old friends, of course. I'm always accumulating on craft materials so I try to use them up rather than let them sit in my inventory because you can only store so much stuff at a time.
Along with building stuff for the house, we also got to help Annika out on the farm. She has six chickens, nicknamed the Spice Girls because of their names - Ginger, Cinnamon, Pepper, Cayenne, Anise, and Nutmeg. Aren't they cute names? I have never been in a chicken coop before so it was an interesting experience. Still getting used to being around them - I don't know why but I'm afraid of getting pecked or bitten by them. But for the most part they're pretty tame and friendly. I can see why Annika became attached to them once she got used to them.
Yeah, I don't know how Annika does it. Honestly, I probably would've given up as soon as the chickens started acting out. Farm life just ain't my cup of tea so anyone who can run one all by themselves is impressive in my book. I'm so proud of Annika and her accomplishments!
Kaisa stops by often to drop off some of her stuff and help out around the farm. I think her moving in with Annika is for the best. She's a nurse at the hospital, working the night shift - something that her dad and brothers aren't happy with. Basically they're early birds while Kaisa's a night owl - and the guys often make fun of her for sleeping in and such. Like, no offense to those who like waking up early but why do some of them feel the need to flex on that? I'm a night owl myself and why some people see that as a flaw that needs to be fixed is a mystery to me.
Like I said, Kaisa works the night shift from 7PM to 7AM. Being a new nurse, most of the entry level positions are for nights, so you gotta take what you can get. Working nights isn't bad though, things are a bit more quiet and you get paid more. Plus it's not like Kaisa's become nocturnal - she only works three days a week - so it's not like the job's taking over her life. In fact, the night shift works out perfectly for her and she loves it!
Literally the only reason why her family doesn't like it is because it's inconvenient for them. By inconvenient, I mean it goes against what they believe. Kaisa's dad has been pushing her to switch to days now that she's been working for over a year, which Kaisa has no desire to do. It also doesn't help that her family sees the night shift as a "lesser" position because patients are usually asleep at the time despite the fact that she is just as busy and gets more benefits from the job. Now it's getting to the point where Kaisa's finally fed up with them trying to push their standards on her that it's time for her to leave the nest.
I honestly don't understand people who feel the need to push their own ideals into others. They're the kind of people who act like their way is the best and if you aren't like them, then you need to be fixed. Although a good number of them do mean well sometimes, it's just exhausting trying to get them to understand that not everyone functions like they do.
Vint also drops by from time to time to help out and check in on us. Annika credits him for being the reason why she kept trying on the egg farm. Had she been running it all by herself, she would've given up after a few days. Kaisa says he's a good guy, but has a tendency to spread himself a little too thin. Although the three of them grew up together in the same town, it wasn't until Annika became neighbors with Vint when they really got to know each other. So in a way, he's become Annika and Kaisa's mentor/older brother figure. I'm looking forward to getting to know him some more in the next few days.
In between renovations and tending to the chickens, we got to looking up egg recipes like omelettes, quiches, custards, and more. Today we made omelettes as Vint gave us a big box full of fresh dairy and produce. I'm not an expert at making omelettes so it was good practice! Though, to be honest, I'm not the biggest fan of omelettes - they're a bit heavy and eggy for me so I can only enjoy them once in a while. But I have to say, using fresh eggs and veggies really do make a difference!
Since we were feeling creative from all the building and interior decorating, we kinda threw together an omelette contest. It's always fun to come up with new recipes and share them with friends!
Pancetti made an arugula, salmon, and goat cheese omelette over toast. I don't know why I never thought of having an omelette over toast - it's genius! Plus the goat cheese and salmon balance each other well while the arugula adds a nice contrast to the flavors. I think this is my favorite out of all the omelettes we made today.
Erik's creation is a pizza omelette, a creation that's fun to put together. It's basically a pizza but the crust is a cheesy omelette. Drizzle marinara, add some cheese and other toppings and voila - pizza omelette! I made mine with mozzarella, ricotta, onions, peppers, and sausage.
Plucky threw together an omelette salad topped with a creamy ranch dressing. The omelette's made with caramelized onions and chopped up into strips. For the ranch, she made some buttermilk, added a bunch of herbs and seasonings, and drizzled it over the salad. For some reason I don't like eggs in my salad but this is an exception - especially with the dressing.
Claude went for a dessert omelette, an interesting twist that turned out great! You'd think it would end up tasting like sweetened scrambled eggs or a custard gone wrong, but it's not. It's kinda like a pudding in terms of texture, but not overly sweet thanks to the cream cheese. To add to the dessert element is coconut sticky rice, which pairs well with the cream cheese omelette.
It's been fun helping Annika and Kaisa out on the farm. Like I said, none of us ever imagined Annika, out of all people, to run an egg farm. There's still a lot that she has to learn, which she's looking forward to. It's a lot of work, but she's been enjoying it a lot. Now that I've seen it for myself, I can't imagine her doing anything else. I can't wait to see where this venture will take her!
Tomorrow's more of the same - renovations, collecting eggs, and tending to the chickens. We're also gonna make puddings and help set up for the Apple Dumpling Festival, where Annika's running an egg stand.
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itsallavengers · 5 years
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gee i don't want to bother you you can 100% ignore me but it's been a shitty week panic attacks are stronger than ever and some of my friends keep making fun of my anxiety (i downplay the whole thing so it's not really their fault) could you please give me some light hearted stevetony with italian!tony? ily so much youre a blessing for this world keep being yourself
Steve was going to be honest here: he didn’t like the sun.
 Bucky and Natasha would kill him for slandering the current Mediterranean summer weather like that, but it was true. He was an Irishman. His skin was pale and unused to anything above mild temperatures. Not to mention the fact that it was just damn uncomfortable to sit and sweat with no way to cool down all day. He wasn’t entirely sure why he’d come on this holiday with his two friends at all, actually. He didn’t like the sun, he didn’t really have the money for it, and he was currently acting as the third wheel to what could have just been Bucky & Natasha’s romantic getaway. But Bucky had asked, and said that Steve needed to take a bit of time off, so here he was. 
Sweating. 
It wasn’t so bad, though. While Nat was off looking around in a little local museum and Bucky was trying to sleep off the hangover from last night, Steve was sitting in a quiet cafe, reading his book and sipping on a latte. He was in the shade to prevent burning, and it was early enough in the morning that the heat wasn’t unbearable. It was actually quite nice.
There was also an incredibly beautiful young man sitting on a table a few feet to his right, nibbling a sandwich and working in a scruffy-looking notebook while he shot Steve occasional furtive glances. That was very nice too. 
He looked to be in his early twenties, and clearly native to the town. They hadn’t picked a touristy spot, which was good for the culture, but bad when it came to the language barrier. And the man didn’t sport any of the typical touristy items; instead lounging around in a breezy white cotton shirt with a few buttons undone, tucked into a pair of form-fitting navy slacks and then ending with some expensive-looking loafers. Atop the dark mess of curls were some aviators, and he wore a black ring on his forefinger that contrasted wonderfully against the olive of his skin. The way he held onto his pen made his fingers flex, and occasionally he would run it over his bottom lip in thought, suck it in, frown for a second before he wrote something else down. 
Yes, Steve may have been staring for a long time now. But in his defence, the man was stunning. Steve could admit he was more than a little enthralled. 
He checked his watch briefly, wondering at what point this was going to get weird and he would have to either approach the other man or leave. He could order another coffee, he supposed-- but too much caffeine gave him a headache. Maybe the man was a regular here. Steve might get to see him tomorrow, maybe smile at him or something.
“hai intenzione di stare lì a fissarmi tutto il giorno o vuoi venire qui?”
Steve blinked, watching the man as he pulled the pen from his mouth and then leaned his head backward, apparently speaking to no one in particular. But then his neck rolled, and he looked Steve right in the eye, his mouth curling into a gorgeously cheeky smile. “I take it you do not speak Italian then?”
Oh. Oh, he was talking to Steve. Fuck. Okay. He spluttered a little and then sat up, resisting the urge to push his hair back or smooth out his shirt. He was calm, he was suave. “I...no,” he stumbled, shaking his head, “was that... sorry, were you talking to me?”
The man nodded, slipping sideways on his chair and then leaning forward so his elbows rested on his knees and his hands were clasped in front of him. He was slim, but muscular. Steve could see the way his shirt smoothed over strong arms as he hunched. And now he was face on, Steve could truly get a feel for what the man looked like. Sharp jaw. Hair that fell artistically over his perfectly-proportioned face. The most beautiful hazel eyes Steve had ever goddamn seen. 
“I said, are you going to sit there and stare all day or are you planning on coming over?”
Steve realised he was being spoken to only a second after he’d stopped watching the way the man’s mouth formed the words, his accent thick, but his English perfect. Steve should probably respond to that, shouldn’t he. “Well, if it’s all the same with you,” he began, before cracking a smile and then standing up. In a few strides, he was at the man’s table, slipping into the seat opposite. He was in the sun here, but he figured that he could make the sacrifice, just this once. 
There was a second of silence, and then the man turned to face him again. His eyes were alight, shining in the sunlight and mingled with intrigue. “Was that an Irish accent I heard just then?” He asked, and God, even his voice was beautiful. Steve had never thought voices could be beautiful until today. 
He nodded. “It was. Born and raised there ‘til my mam moved us over to America. We don’t fare quite as well in this sun as you though. Hence the shade I was in.”
“Oh. We can move?” The man waved his hand backward, but Steve was quick to shake his head, simply smiling in reassurance. 
“It’s fine. I’m Steve, by the way.”
“Ah. I’m Tony.” He smiled and leaned his head into his hands, looking across the table at Steve with that fiery smile of his. His fingers traced idly over his notepad as he eyed Steve, and the writings he’d done were absolutely foreign- not even because they were written in a different language, but because they were all just complex-looking equations and diagrams and things Steve couldn’t even name. He didn’t dwell on them though. There were much more interesting things to be looking at just then. 
Leaning back in his chair and throwing an arm casually across the backrest-- and no, not to flex his muscles like Bucky tried to say whenever he did that--  he let his eyes walk slowly up and down Tony’s body, before stopping for a second at his mouth. The pen was back again. A brief thought crossed his mind, and he swallowed it down hastily. That was most definitely not appropriate for the first conversation. 
But Tony looked like he knew exactly what Steve was thinking anyway, because the smile widened and he took the pen back out from between his teeth again, spinning it in those agile fingers of his. “So tell me- what is an Irishman who doesn’t like the sun doing in Italy right now?” He asked, one eyebrow rising curiously. 
Steve explained the situation easily, talking of Bucky and Nat, the vacation they’d all planned, Steve’s need for a little break. In turn, Tony explained how he’d ended up here, him having come from America too, but much longer ago, back when he was a child and his parents had divorced. He talked emphatically and used his hands when he spoke, and Steve found himself hanging on to every word, Tony managing to make everyday events seem like film-plots. Their conversation came easily, like one would with a long-time friend, and soon Steve realised that a whole hour had passed since he and Tony had begun talking. He blinked in surprise at his watch and then felt the back of his neck. “God, I’m gonna burn,” he muttered to himself, popping his collar up. 
Tony pulled a face, clearly unimpressed by the weakness of his pale skin, but then it turned into a smile as he jumped from his seat and grabbed for Steve’s hand, tugging him upward. “I know how to cool you down,” he said enthusiastically, and Steve found himself being pulled into standing and guided out of the cafe. “How much time do you have?”
Well, Natasha wanted him to join her in the museum about ten minutes ago, so-- “no plans for the day,” he said easily, letting Tony guide them through the winding streets, their bodies brushing and their hands linked together while they navigated the people and market-stalls. Tony greeted locals as he passed them by, the Italian words rolling off his tongue easily. Steve hung on to every word he said, not knowing what he meant, but willing to listen to Tony talking like that for the rest of the goddamn day if he wanted to. It was like music. 
Eventually, Steve realised Tony was leading them to the coastline, and he frowned. “I haven’t bought any swim-trunks with me,” he said warily, but Tony just laughed, turning around and walking backwards while he looked up at Steve. 
“Just wear your boxers, they’ll dry off quickly once you get out!”
“I... I don’t--” but Tony was already leading them down a rickety set of wooden steps, winding down the cliff edge. It was a secluded place, and when they reached the bottom, Steve looked around in awe at the beautiful cove he’d been brought to. There was a small outcrop which slid off straight into the sea, and a few feet onward, a dusting of sand covered by the shade of a tree.
Tony beamed at him. “I come here to do work sometimes. Come, come. The water is lovely.” Without a moment of hesitation, he toed off his loafers and then skidded over the outcrop, where he then started to untuck his shirt from his pants. Steve could only watch, somewhat shocked at the man’s lack of embarrassment, as Tony quickly stripped down into his underwear, finally ending with chucking his sunglasses on top of the messy pile of his clothes. His eyes shone with knowing amusement as he looked over his shoulder at Steve. “My eyes are up here,” he commented, and in mortification, Steve hurriedly dragged his gaze away from Tony’s ass. 
“Sorry, sorry, I didn’t--” but Tony had already turned back around, stepping off the outcrop and then splashing into the water, being submerged immediately. He came up a second later with a gasp, slicking his curls out of his face with one hand while the other clamped around the outcrop. He swam closer to Steve, who was still stood at the sidelines, a little bamboozled by the recent events. 
“You joining me?” Tony asked, his arms folding on the rocks as he cocked his head at Steve. “I might need-- ah, come se dice.... a water-guard?”
“Lifeguard,” Steve said with a small grin, remembering the conversation he’d had earlier about his part-time job as a pool lifeguard when he’d been a kid in order to afford his first ever car. “And you seem to be doing okay right now.”
Tony hummed, and then very dramatically began to flail around, head dipping under the water. “Oh no!” He declared, “my legs have suddenly stopped working! If only I had someone trained to handle a situation like this to come in and save me!” He sunk below the water again, and Steve rolled his eyes and just tried not to laugh as his hands went to his shirt. 
If Tony didn’t seem to think this was strange, then neither did Steve. 
Once he was down to his boxer briefs, he slid in a little more calmly than Tony had done, bracing himself against the rocks and looking at the other man. Water clung to his skin, making crystal trails, pooling at the dip in his collar-bones. His hair was slicked back, but a piece had fallen into his eyes, and he tucked it behind his ear as he tread the water a few feet away. 
He was right though. It really was lovely and cool. 
Steve smiled, sinking under the surface for a moment in order to wet his hair. He could just about touch the surface, but Tony was considerably smaller than him, so he would have to stick to treading the water. Steve came back up with a gasp and then found himself laughing. “This is not how I imagined my day to go,” he admitted, watching Tony’s face soften. 
Then, slowly, he swam forward, cutting through the water and then settling a hand on Steve’s shoulder softly. It slipped across the damp skin, and Tony watched his own fingers as they trailed across Steve’s pale shoulders. “Me neither,” Tony admitted softly, glancing up at Steve through his thick lashes, “but I’m not going to complain. I met a very hot man and got him out of his clothes in under two hours.”
That made Steve laugh. Never in a million years would he have done this back in America. Not like he even could, really. The Hudson hardly counted as a romantic spot for a swim with the person you’d only met once. But everyone said Europeans were very free-spirited. And from what Steve could see, and, uh, feel, that certainly seemed the case. Tony swam a little closer, his other hand finding Steve’s neck, winding around the side of it delicately and pulling himself in until they were chest to chest. Steve curled his own hand around the other man’s waist, taking a small breath. He wasn’t sure he’d ever been quite as affected by someone as he was with Tony. Not in his whole life. 
“I want to kiss you,” Tony said, his words lilted with the accent, his skin glittering in the sunlight, and it was so damn strange for Steve to think of the fact that Tony had almost grown up in New York as the heir to a huge business like he’d spoken of earlier, all slick and hard-lined and American. This just seemed like it was where Tony belonged, far more than that life ever would be. 
Steve smiled, their noses touching. His hand rose from the water, the sound tinkling melodically, and he gently took Tony’s chin in his hand, tilting it up a little more. “I want to kiss you too,” he admitted, “I want to do a lot of things, actually.”
“Hmm?” Tony’s voice was low, warm, suggestive. “You said you have no plans. I don’t either.” He dipped forward, giving Steve the barest brush of lips before pulling away a fraction again.”You can do whatever you want, tesoro.”
Wow. Those words went straight down south, and Steve swallowed, before dipping down and closing the gap between them hastily. The water swirled around them, Tony draping himself onto Steve as they embraced, and vaguely he realised that this wasn’t a private cove and anyone could walk by if they wanted, but it was still difficult to keep his actions even remotely clean when he had a pretty much naked and willing and wet Tony in his arms, sucking on his bottom lip while his hands worked over Steve’s arms. He tasted like coffee and smelled like apples, and his mouth was a devil, licking into him, nipping and sucking and making little noises when Steve touched him in the right places. It was slow, easy, relaxed. The sun shone through the clear blue sky, lighting up Tony’s face as he leaned back against the rock and shut his eyes happily. Steve wanted to work him over. Wanted to find out what his favourite colour was and how he looked spread out on a bed. Just seeing him like this was driving Steve a little mad. God only knew what would happen when they got home.
He was going to have to do a lot of apologising to Bucky and Nat tonight, because he didn’t think they were going to be seeing anything of him for the rest of the day. 
Or the vacation.
-
ao3 / donate to my kofi
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calamity-bean · 4 years
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Also, re: Little Women (2019)... I remember seeing posts (or mentions of posts?) being very upset with Bhaer for criticizing Jo’s writing. And I have feelings about that! I totally understand that we writers are sensitive about our work, about the heart and the effort we’ve put into it, and that we empathize with being defensive about criticism and dismissive of people who critique when they themselves are not writers. I feel that. But honestly, some of Bhaer’s lines during that conversation — “Has no one ever talked to you like this before? Do you have anyone to take you seriously, to talk about your work?” — struck me more than almost any other lines in the film, because they reflect so well what I feel is a good approach to the author–editor dynamic.
I haven’t read the book since I was a kid, so I’m really limited to the newest film for my perspective on him and Jo and how his critique of her writing is handled, and honestly, my thoughts are more on the general concept of editing/critiquing than on their relationship specifically, but... There is a bad critic/editor in this film. It’s not Bhaer. It’s the publisher who clearly does not take Jo seriously as a person/writer and pressures her to heavily alter her style in order to produce work that she knows is not what or how she wants to write, because that’s what he considers marketable. Marketability is not a bad thing in and of itself; popular work, trope-heavy work, mass-market genre novels like romance or cozy mysteries that tend to follow certain plot formulas, these are not bad or unskilled things. Many readers love reading books/genres that get disparaged as “trashy” or “light” or not “serious,” and many writers love writing those things, and that’s great! But in this case, the publisher’s view of what was marketable (which was ultimately proven to be very flawed anyway) pushed Jo to produce work that I think we are to understand she, herself, was not proud of. Proud of being published, yes, but not really proud of the work itself, and clearly not what she wanted to be doing or the best she was capable of. And that, unless I’m missing something, is the work that Bhaer critiqued.
I think editors (and beta readers, critics, etc.) are important. I am an editor, so yeah, I could be biased in that; but I’ve been on the other side of the equation many, many times, too, having my own writing and art critiqued in workshops and competitions and the workplace and etc. The relationship between a creator and the people who help them review, reconsider, and refine their work is important. It can bring valuable insight, experience, and technical skills that can truly transform a manuscript into something so much stronger than it started out as. But the relationship is also complicated. Giving critique that is constructive rather than destructive is a skill that requires empathy and humility as well as intelligence and discernment. Listening to critique and deciding what (if anything) to do with it takes resilience, discernment, and humility as well. And editors are not infallible or one size fits all.
I think a vital skill for any writer (any creator, really) is to learn who/what is worth listening to — and who/what is not. We should not take every negative remark from every random reader to heart. Even when it comes to pros, an editor might be very good at working with certain writers and within certain genres but absolutely useless or even harmful when it comes to other writers or genres. Even when we try to be objective, we are human and inevitably bring at least traces of our own biases, interests, and abilities. But from a writer’s perspective, the ideal editor, I think, is not one who tries to force a manuscript into fitting their own idea of what the writing “should be.” The ideal editor is one who makes an effort to understand what the author is trying to do, how they’re trying to do it, and what the manuscript itself is trying to be — and then works to strengthen the manuscript in alignment with those goals, not against them.
And that is why I loved when Bhaer asked Jo, “But do you have anyone to take you seriously, to talk about your work?” Because that’s... what a writer should want. That’s the lead-in to a constructive approach: not blind praise, not flat rejection, not shoehorning the work out of shape to fit a preconceived mold, but someone who wants to talk with and listen to the writer so they can understand them and their work. That quote struck me both as a writer and as an editor. I try to avoid being as subjective as Bhaer is when he leads by simply saying it’s not good and he doesn’t like it; flat, nonspecific statements like that aren’t really helpful. But then again, he’s talking to a friend, someone he feels he can be honest with, and editing does sometimes involve difficult conversations about aspects of the manuscript that are, well... not good. If you’re aiming to be a professional writer, as Jo is, you’re probably going to have to learn to have these difficult conversations, even though they can feel very personal and emotionally charged. Trust me, I get that; I’ve had my own share of raw feelings after having my work critiqued. In some cases, I ultimately decided the criticism was not really relevant and/or merited, and I set it aside unheeded. But in other cases, it proved invaluable in helping me grow.
God, I’ve rambled longer than I meant to, but like, bottom line here: The critique is not unsolicited. He offers to read and review her work, promising upfront to be honest. Jo accepts. And the work he’s so unimpressed with is work that she herself knows is not the sort of thing she wants to write! He recognizes her talent but he also recognizes that this particular work does not truly reflect that talent, and perhaps part of the reason she’s so upset by it is that she herself is not very proud of that work either. Did he start out pretty blunt? Yeah. But I think his overall approach was in service of trying to get to the heart of Jo’s abilities and artistic goals. Support, reassurance, and positive reinforcement are invaluable to any writer, but at certain points of the process, so is critique that forces the creator to really review their own work. At any rate, I don’t think it’s harmful for a critic to treat a professional (or aspiring professional) writer seriously and to encourage honest conversations about what the writer is going for, uncomfortable though those conversations can sometimes be. And just because a lot of us sympathize with being a writer/creator does not mean that giving agreed-upon, solicited criticism makes a character bad.
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Dougie Hamilton x reader
It had been three months since you graduated from college. Unsure if it was because of that or because you were quickly approaching your 25th birthday, but you were spiraling. Not gonna lie, college was freaking hard and honestly, you were unsure of what you wanted to do but if something didn’t get you out of the house soon, you were going to go insane.
You had applied to a few different marketing positions, but nothing had materialized yet and you were frustrated. 
You decided to go and grab lunch with your best friend, (y/bf/n) one HOT September Friday and as you sat down at your favorite downtown Raleigh restaurant, your phone rang, but the number was not one that you recognized. It was a local number so you decided to answer it, hoping that it was one of the many jobs you had applied to. 
“Hi! Is this (y/n)?”
“Yes, it is!”
“Hi, (y/n)! I hope you’re doing well today! This is Shannon, head of marketing here for the Carolina Hurricanes. I’m calling in regards to your extremely impressive resume. We would absolutely love to set up an interview with you to see if you would be a good fit for our team. Are you free this week sometime to come in and chat?”
You were speechless. This was finally your opportunity. Quickly, you regained your composure and were able to choke out,
“Absolutely! I’m free first thing Monday morning! What time works best for you?”
“Let’s say 9 am? You can meet me at the North entrance of PNC.”
“That sounds fantastic. I will see you Monday morning at 9 am, Shannon! Thank you so much!”
“See you then, (y/n)! Have a great weekend!”
You smile at your friend across the table and she looks back at you with a confused look on her face.
“Who was that?” she asks.
“Head of marketing for the Canes. I have an interview for a position on their marketing team on Monday!” You were beaming.
“Holy SHIT, dude! That’s awesome! You’ve been waiting for something like this!” 
\\\
Monday snuck up on you. You decided to go out on Saturday night for drinks with your closest friends to celebrate your pending job interview and spent Sunday recovering from that. You were excited for sure, but now the nerves began to set in. You slept like shit, tossing and turning all night. You woke up around 7 am, groggy as all. You knew that you were really great at interviews, but looking in the mirror, you knew that you needed some work to feel as confident outside as you were inside. You drug yourself to the shower, turning on the almost-scalding water. After getting out, feeling a lot less groggy, you take extra time getting ready, being very meticulous with each step. You curl your hair into loose waves and apply your normal, natural makeup: a little eyebrow, a little mascara, and that’s it. 
You step back into your room, putting on the outfit that you picked out a few days before. A super flattering pair of slim fit, black ankle pants, a more casual shirt, layered with a modern blazer. You slide on a pair of ankle boots and stop at the full length mirror propped up in the corner of your bedroom. 
Pleased with how you looked, you grab your keys and head out the door. You lived 10 minutes away from the arena, so you jump in your car and turn some music on to hype you up before pulling out of your driveway and eventually onto 40.
You pull into PNC arena, familiar because of the many events you’ve attended, you go directly towards the north entrance. You quickly park and begin heading towards to door, only to be greeted by one of the friendliest faces you’ve ever seen. 
“Hey! You must you (y/n)!! I’m Shannon!! So nice to put a face with the name!”
You quickly walked towards her, shaking her hand. “Likewise! So nice to finally meet you!”
You two begin walking inside of the building, she starts: “So, nothing to be nervous about! We loved your resume and just wanted to familiarize you with our organization before we officially offered you the job.”
You two arrived in what appeared to be the offices for the staff and you were mesmerized. Hockey in Raleigh hadn’t been much of a thing to write home about until two years prior, when they qualified for the Stanley Cup Playoffs for the first time in a while. You’d been to a few games, but to be honest, you didn’t know a whole lot about the team. You knew about hockey because your college had a team, but you never really cared about who the players were.
Shannon continued to talk and fill you in on the history of the team, who the leadership was, and chat about the upcoming season. You were engrossed in every word she said. She asked a few questions about you, seeming to really like your answers. The atmosphere here was incredible, everyone was buzzing with excitement, which in turn, made you excited. While invigorating, everyone was extremely friendly and laid back, including Shannon.
Finally, your tour came to a stop as Shannon led you into a conference room. She had some paperwork laid out on the table as she took a seat and gestured for you to sit across from her. As you sat, she began talking.
“I have been given pretty open freedom to do whatever I need to do to make this marketing team the best in the NHL. I do not beat around the bush at all and so, I’d like to formally offer you this position on our marketing team. I think that you could really bring a lot of incredible energy and ideas to our team and to Carolina in general and we would love to have you.”
Your smile took up your entire face. 
“You guys seem like an amazing group of people to work with and I would be totally honored to accept.”
She smiled back at me, “Awesome!! Welcome to the team, (y/n)! Let’s go meet the boys and then, we’ll come back and fill out this paperwork!”
///
Shannon leads you down a hallway, chatting you up the entire way. You’re halfway present, nodding along and smiling at what she’s telling you about the team, but your excitement is making it hard to focus on anything at all.
Finally, you walk out of the hallway into one of the openings leading to the rink. You recognize that you’re now beside the bench. She informs you that the guys are doing their morning skate. She motions a man over and introduces you to him. His name is Rod, the head coach. He shakes your hand, firmly, and welcomes you to the team. He seems friendly and warm, just like everyone else you’ve met, but you can also sense that he does not handle nonsense, at all.
Shannon asks him to bring the boys over for them to meet you as well. This terrified you a little, because as you’re scanning, you realize that these are not busted up hockey jocks, missing teeth, but these are young looking guys that are intimidatingly handsome. As she introduces you to the guys, you become a little self-conscious as a lot of them come to shake your hand, each giving you his name as he does. 
“(y/n) will be working specifically with creating our social media content and maintaining it. She’ll be doing an array of things in regards to working with you, including photographing and helping with video work. Her accomplishments are super impressive and we are so excited she’s decided to be apart of our organization.”
The guys all clap, a few even cheer and yell, for you as Shannon finishes up her announcement regarding you. You don’t typically blush, but as you’re standing there, talking to Shannon, you can feel it beginning to rise up your neck as you realize some of the guys are studying you as they skate back out.
Shannon sits on the empty bench and motions for you to join her as she begins telling you how she got started with the Hurricanes a few years back. You’re listening along, scanning over each guy on the ice. One in particular catches your eye and you realize it’s one of the same ones you caught looking at you earlier when Shannon was introducing you to everyone. 
He was tall. Like, really tall. You were only 5′3, so it didn’t take a lot for someone to be taller than you, but he was probably the tallest on the ice. You realize that you hadn’t been introduced to him when you met a majority of the other guys,
Shannon’s phone began to ring and she excused herself, leaving you alone for a minute to continue watching from the bench.
You continued to watch this tall man. He took his helmet off momentarily to expose his blonde hair. You also noticed his beard was gingery and he had probably the most beautiful smile you’d ever seen. Definitely your type. He skated over towards the bench to retrieve a gatorade and you felt your body stiffen a little when you realized he had caught you studying him.
As he got closer to the bench, he plopped down on it, breathing heavily from the drills he had just run and drinking from one of the bottles. You knew that you were blushing now. How could you not? He was freaking handsome. You avoided looking at him by pulling out your phone, but you could feel his gaze.
He swiftly put himself back over the wall, but not before stopping on the ice directly in front of you, causing you to look up at him. He smiled and stuck his hand out. He cleared his throat and said, “Hey, (y/n). I just wanted to introduce myself after you got bombarded by the rest of the guys. I’m Dougie.” 
His voice startled you a little. It was deep, with a slight rasp, and smooth as butter. Trying to pull yourself together, you shook his hand and smiled back at him. God, he was handsome. “It’s so nice to meet you,” you managed to get out. 
He held onto your hand a bit longer than a normal person would, holding eye contact with you, causing you to giggle and divert your eyes. He finally let go and added, “I should probably get back to morning skate before Roddy gets me. I’m looking forward to seeing you around, (y/n).” He smiles at you again before skating off to rejoin his teammates.
You finally release the breath it feels like you’ve been holding onto for an hour and look out at the ice one more time, catching eye contact with Dougie again, finding him smiling at you before running the drill he was apart of. 
Shannon finally ends her call and comes back to where you are, smiling at you. “You ready to go fill out your paperwork?”
///
Your first official day was a few days after you’d been hired. You knew that the season didn’t start for a few weeks and Shannon informed you that this was a big time for the marketing team to push out a lot of content to get the fans excited about the coming season. Fan attendance was up the last two years, but they really wanted to continue pushing out content that helped them get to know the players and feel connected with all of the boys. 
You guys had brainstormed a ton of new video ideas for the youtube channel, a few new promo shoots to get done, photo and video, and now the ideas just needed to be executed.
In the weeks leading up to the beginning of the season, you had been trusted to take the lead on a few of the different video projects and you were hooked. You loved being around the guys. They were freaking hilarious and so fun to be around. The repertoire they had with each other was dynamic and there was no denying that they all cared about each other. 
There had been a few moments during filming videos and photoshoots that you and Dougie had exchanged. Glances, short, friendly conversations. You were trying to remain professional and keep work and private life separate, but it was hard to do here. This was one of the most laid back environments you’d ever been in and you loved being able to open up and be yourself.
On the way to your car after work that day, you felt your phone buzz in your hand. You waited until you sat down in your car to unlock it and see a text from an unfamiliar number.
“You have been brilliant the last few days. It’s incredible to see you do what you’re so passionate about. Can’t wait to see you at the game this week. - DH”
Ah, Dougie. You smiled down at your phone for a minute before responding. He was so damn good looking and you admit, you’d caught yourself staring a little too long or scanning him up and down, longing to just reach out and touch him. 
“You’re too kind. See you then. ;)” 
You debated leaving the winky face off, but decided to leave it. You were feeling a little more adventurous than usual.
//
Before you knew it, the season was starting. You were buzzing because you got to photograph the game from beside the bench. The arena filled up quickly and you got to witness your first game as a staff member. The crowd was insanely loud. You spent the first two periods in awe, snapping photos during play, letting yourself get sucked in. There were a few times that you felt a few eyes on you from the bench, but you assumed you were being ridiculous. Once, you happened to glance over to catch a particular blondie watching you before he looked away. 
You grinned at the thought of Dougie being embarrassed that you caught him watching you, especially since you’d been watching him for most of the game. 
Towards the end of the third, the Canes were up two points with 2 minutes left in the period. Dougie came off of a shift and sat at the end of the bench, right beside where you were. He tapped your leg with his stick and smiled over at you. You smiled back at him. God, you hadn’t looked at him that close in person in a while. You guys had been so busy prepping everything for this night that you had been running around like a mad woman.
You both turned your attention back to the game as the clock wound down to zero. Dougie flashed a smiled at you as he and the other guys went out onto the ice to celebrate their first win of the season. You followed out onto the ice to grab photos of the storm surge, as you knew that was tradition that was so important to everyone.
//
You were in your office, packing up your equipment as you imported the images and videos onto your computer. You sat back in your chair, waiting for the import to finish, as your scrolled through your phone. You heard a knock at your door and you look up to see a freshly-showered Dougie in his pre-game suit that he had shown up in earlier today. 
“Hey, get any good shots tonight?”
You chuckled, knowing that this was a joke you had made with each other before, during the countless video and photo shoots you’d done with the team that last few weeks. 
You held eye contact with him, still chuckling, “You know I did. Did you”
This caused him to laugh as well, “Man, I could have sworn you watched me score that goal. I’m hurt that you didn’t.”
You both giggled before he came and sat at the chair in front of your desk. As he sat down, he looked slightly nervous, maybe uncomfortable? 
“So, I’ve been trying to push this off because you work for the team, but the more I think about it, the more I realize how unfair it is for me to not do this and always wonder what if.”
You raised an eyebrow at him, unsure of where this was going. Yeah, you guys had been friendly with each other, but a lot of the guys had been friendly. You were super attracted to Dougie, but you didn’t think anything different of the way he’d treated you vs the rest of the guys.
“If you are not interested, feel free to say no and we will forget this whole thing ever happened. But, I was wondering if you wanted to go grab a post game meal with me, (y/n)?”
You were slightly stunned. You wanted this, so you finally mustered up the confidence to respond. “Uhm, absolutely. I would love that!” 
///
DOUGIE’S POV
I was nervous, but good nervous. I hadn’t wanted to date anyone since I came to Carolina, but she was different. She was this presence that really lit up any room she was in. She was brilliant, thoughtful, hilarious, and always made anyone she talked to feel like the only person in the room. It was no secret that she was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. A lot of the boys on the team shared that opinion with me, how could they not?
I sat there, after putting myself on the line to ask her to hang out, nervous as fuck, hoping and praying she’d say yes.
She looked up at me with those beautiful eyes and that killer smile and accepted my invitation. 
Thank God.
 She closed her laptop on her desk and stood up, putting it in her bag.
“Ready to go?”
She looked up at me and flashed that heart stopping smile. “Yes, please.”
The whole way out to the parking lot, I wanted to hold her hand so bad. Ever since meeting her, I have had this desire to make her feel secure and safe, and walking with her now was no different. I didn’t understand the effect that she had on me, but I didn’t feel the need to fight it at all. 
I knew which car was hers and had made a point when I got to the arena today to park near her. 
“So, I thought that we could run through a drive-thru since it’s so late and then I have a secret spot that I want to take you to.”
She smiled at me as we approached the cars. “That sounds perfect.”
Every time she smiled at me, my stomach did a backflip.
///
(Y/N) POV
He offered to drive or gave you the option to drive separately, but you just wanted to be around him. In this moment, his presence was intoxicating.
He held his car door open for you, carefully closing the door before he retreated to the driver’s side. He smiled at you before starting the car and driving out of the arena. He asked what your drive thru guilty pleasure was and happily obliged, heading in the direction of it.
You both asked a few questions back and forth, easily filling your time with quality conversation on the way to whatever he had planned for you.
After pulling away from the drive thru, he drove for a few minutes, before turning down a road you were unfamiliar with. He parked and walked around to open your door. He opened his trunk and pulled out a blanket and you followed him as he began walking. Finally, you stopped in an opening and he gestured for you to look out into the field. You could see the entire city lit up in the distance. It was beautiful. He watched you sheepishly for your reaction.
“I figured we could sit out here, eat, talk, and look at the city or the stars.”
You were stunned, but in the best way. You looked up at him, with the biggest grin on your face. “Dougie, this is gorgeous.”
///
It had been probably close to two hours that you two had been sitting in front of the city, under the stars. To be honest, it felt like a fairytale to you. You were convinced that you could do the most mundane task with Dougie and it would feel like the lottery.
The more you talked to him, you realized how incredible he was. He was arguably the most handsome guy you’d ever seen. He was intelligent. He always seemed to be hinged on every word you said. He made you feel like you were all that mattered in the world.
You felt your adrenaline coming down and decided to lay back on the blanket and look up at the stars. Dougie did the same. You two continued your conversation, taking turns talking about anything and everything.
Before you knew it, it was 4 am. Dougie offered to take you back to your car at the arena but you knew that you lived close to his apartment from the last time you filmed a video with him and the boys, so you asked if he could just drop you off at your apartment. He obliged. After he opened your door for you and got into the driver’s seat, you said, “thank you again for dropping me off. I’ll just catch an Uber in the morning for work.”
“That’s nonsense. I’ll just swing by and pick you up.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to make you get up any earlier than you have to.”
“Nonsense. It’s not an imposition at all.”
You smiled out towards the window. The feelings that you were developing for Dougie were intense. You guys had spent the night talking about things that made it feel like you’d known him your entire life. Something about him made you want to open up and share everything you’ve ever said or done with him.
Part of you felt like he knew the effect he had on you. He glanced over, catching you smiling, trying to hide it. He contemplated for a second but decided to slowly reach over, resting his hand on your knee. He didn’t want to be too forward, but you had the same effect on him as he did you. He knew it was risky because this was the first time you’d hung out.
You smiled over at him before resting your hand on top of his. He was so warm and his hand almost engulfed your entire knee. He was perfect.
He finally pulled up to your apartment building. He parked on the street and got out to come and open your door. He grabbed your bag from you and offered to walk you up to your door.
As you got to your apartment door, you turned to face him. He held your bag out for you to take. You smiled, thanking him for such a lovely night. He smiled back at you. You loved that smile.
He debated kissing you. He had wanted to since he met you on your first day. He decided against It and pulled you in for a hug instead, opting for a kiss on the forehead instead.
Without breaking the hug, he said, “(y/n), thank you for spending tonight with me. You are incredible, truly. Can we do this again sometime? I would love to take you out for a nice dinner or maybe I can cook you dinner?”
You smiled into his chest, before slightly pulling away to look up at him. “I would love that. I’m free Thursday night?”
“Thursday night is perfect.” He smiled down at you, kissing your forehead one more time before pulling away. “Goodnight, (y/n)”
“Goodnight, Dougie” you said before unlocking your door and going inside of your apartment. You rested your back against the door, not wanting to move as you recounted the night, trying to remember every little detail about him. The way he smelled when he hugged you, how safe you felt with him.
You heard your phone ping with a text message. You took it out of your bag, wondering who would be texting you at this hour. It was a text from Dougie:
“Thank you again for tonight. You’re an incredible woman. I can’t wait to see you in the morning. x Dougie”
His message made you smile so big that your cheeks hurt. You were smitten.
///
Thankfully, you weren’t due in to the office until 10 the morning after weekday games, because you felt like you slept for maybe an hour. As you were almost done getting ready for the day, your phone pinged with a text from none other than Dougie.
“Hi gorgeous. Stopping for coffee. What can I bring you? :)”
You couldn’t stop smiling. God, he was perfect. You sent him your coffee order, along with a thank you, and continued getting ready. You had just slid your shoes on when you heard a knock at your door. You opened it and there he stood with that heart stopping smile, holding out your coffee for you to take. 
As you took it, he bent down and kissed your cheek. “How did you sleep, (y/n)?” You almost didn’t answer, caught up in his smile and the way he says your name. “I hardly slept at all, if we’re being honest.” Saying this, you threw a cheeky little smile in his direction. “But, I’m not mad about it at all,” you added, winking at him. 
You start to see a blush rise up on his cheeks and he looks down towards his feet, smiling he entire time, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. You’d never seen him like this before. He was almost bashful. This caused you to smile softy before saying, “we should probably get going.”
///
The car ride to the arena was anything but quiet. You loved talking to Dougie and the feeling was mutual. You brought out a side in him you’d never seen being around him at work. Halfway through the ride, he reached over and grabbed your hand. A warmth washed over here. You loved being around him. There was such a security with him, knowing that if you were his, he’d take care of you always.
///
You had spent the whole week thinking about your upcoming date with Dougie. You could not stop thinking about him. Every second of every hour. You caught yourself sending him quick little texts throughout the day. He came to your office and ate lunch everyday. You couldn’t wait to spend more time with him, away from work.
Thursday finally came. As your workday was coming to a close, your phone buzzed with a text.
Dougie: “Hey beautiful. Roddy let us out early today, so I’m running to get things for dinner tonight. Meet me at my apartment when you’re off?”
You: “I’ll be there. :)”
///
You didn’t even want to go home and change before heading over to Dougie’s. You just wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. There was an away game Sunday, so both of you were off the next day. 
You parked outside of his apartment building, shooting him a text before heading up. You were greeted by him at his door. He pulled you in for a tight hug, pulling you into his apartment in the process. With your face against his chest, you breathed it. His scent never got old. You pull away to look back at him. He’s wearing a black t-shirt and slim fit jeans that fit him in the best possible way. God, he’s fit. You were so lost in your thoughts of him that you didn’t realize that he was watching you sum him up. He laughed and closed the gap between you, wrapping you into his arms again.
He brought one of his hands up from you waist to the side of your face, brushing your hair away and tucking it behind your ear. His eyes were intense, like he was deep in thought. After rubbing your cheek with his thumb, he was tired of waiting. He couldn’t handle his desire to be closer to you anymore. He brought your face closer to his, closing the gap between your lips, kissing you with the most intense passion you’d ever felt. He pulled away, that sheepish Dougie grin taking over. 
“I’ve been waiting to do that for a while now,” he smiles, forehead still resting on yours.
“Me too,” you chuckle.
///
Watching Dougie in the kitchen was the most attractive thing you’d ever seen. While he was working, you just imagined your life after this moment, with him. Seeing this all of the time. 
After making you the most incredible dinner, you guys ended up on his balcony, with a bottle of champagne, giggling like school children, sharing the occasional kiss, him sitting in a chair, you sitting on his lap, one arm around your back, the other resting on your thigh. You were so infatuated with him.
///
You felt yourself begin to get more and more tired. Unable to fight it anymore, you laid your head down on Dougie’s chest, feeling yourself floating between being asleep and being awake, still conscious of where you could feel his skin touching yours.
“I should probably head home,” you say, into his neck, where you’ve nuzzled into him.
“No, no,” you hear him mumble into your hair. “Just stay here. I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“I’m not going to kick you out of your bed,” you mumbled, still pressed into his neck, sleepily.
He is getting ready to object when you say, “I’ll stay, but under one condition: you have to stay with me.”
He contemplates for a minute, unsure of if it’s the champagne or the sleep talking, but he just wants to be close to you. Without saying anything, he scoops you up, bridal style, and carries you into his room. Setting you down so that you’re standing in front of his dresser, he pulls out some sweats and a canes t-shirt, handing it to you and kissing you quickly before he leaves the room for you to change. After you’ve changed and thrown your hair into a messy bun, you walk into the kitchen, finding him cleaning up from the dinner you two shared.
You smile to yourself. Eventually, you walked up behind him and wrapped your arms around his waist. You heard him chuckle a bit before turning around and engulfing you into a hug. He ran his hands up and down your back.
“You look nice in my clothes,” he said, examining you, up and down.
You giggled, looking up at him, getting lost in those eyes.
“You ready for bed, gorgeous?”
You nod at him. He takes your hand and you walk with him back into his room. You stand behind him as he pulls the blankets back for the two of you. He gestures for you to lay down and as you do, he covers you up before removing his shirt and walking to the opposite side of the bed.
You turn to face him, finding his bright eyes already studying you. You grin slightly, soaking in all of his features one by one. You reach out and run your hand through his beard, seeing a smile play on his lips as you felt the stubble on your fingertips. Holding eye contact, you could see that his eyes were intense, studying your face more intently than you’d ever seen before.
Seemingly all in one motion, he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you into his body, face face only inches from yours. He smiled big before pulling you in for another kiss. Since your first earlier, this was all you had craved. His lips were soft and tender. You felt his hand move to your cheek, pushing your hair back. You deepened the kiss, running your hands into his hair, down his bicep, before stopping at his forearm. 
You felt his kiss throughout your entire body. He was electric. All too soon, you pull away to catch your breath. Foreheads still pressed together, you hear him, barely above a whisper, “You are all I’ve thought about for days now, (y/n). You drive me wild in the best way possible. Everything that you are...” he pauses and begins stroking your hair, “is everything that I’ve looked for for so long. You make me want to be the best version of myself. For you. For us.”
His words cascaded over you like velvet. You let them soak into you, hanging onto every word he said. You’re lost looking for words to have the same effect on him that he’s had on you. You decide to kiss him in response to what he’s said. 
Things become more heated the longer you two kiss. Hands begin to wander. You feel his large hands run down your back, down to your bottom. After giving you a little squeeze, he runs his hand down to the back of your knee, swiftly pulling you up, so that you were straddling him. You smirked into the kiss before kissing him harder.
///
You woke up to sunlight beaming in on your face with strong arms wrapped around you tight. You felt him brush your neck with his lips.
“Good morning. You are so incredibly beautiful first thing in the morning.”
His raspy, morning voice paired with him mumbling into your neck, made him more attractive, not knowing that that was possible. Being here with him, you knew that you never wanted to do this with anyone else...like ever.
///
You laid there with him for the longest time, listening to the two of you breathe, exchanging secrets in the form of glances. Unknown to you, he was feeling the same way you were. You had never felt this way before and he hadn’t either.
///
You two decided to spend the day together, starting with brunch after a lazy morning spent between the sheets together. You ventured downtown after stopping by your apartment to change out of Dougie’s clothes that you had slept in. You offered them back to him, but he smiled and sheepishly told you to keep them.
Dougie drove you downtown to his favorite brunch spot. As you parked and were walking, he reach for your hand.
“I hope this is okay. Y’know, doing this in public. We really haven’t done that yet.”
You just smiled at him, giving his hand a squeeze to let him know that you didn’t mind. 
“It’s great. Really.”
///
You two had the best conversation over brunch, delving deep into topics that you hadn’t yet talked about. After you were done eating, he reached across the table to take your hand, as he’d done before your food arrived, and held eye contact with you, before saying:
“(y/n), I have something to say to you, just because I always want to be upfront with you. I actually don’t know if I could keep anything from you if I tried,” he said with a chuckle.
“Of course you can tell me anything. What’s up?”
“These days with you, since the moment you walked into the arena, I have felt so connected with you. I am so honored that you said yes to spending time with me. You have made me feel like the luckiest man in the world. The way that you look at me is the most incredible feeling, bar none. I’ve never felt this way about anyone, ever, especially in only a few weeks. I think I am falling in love with you, (y/n), and I know that that seems insane but I just want to be open and honest with you.”
You could feel your heart turning flips in your chest. Again, he’d left you speechless. You could feel tears pricking your eyes, but you finally managed to speak.
“Walking into that arena full of men, a large amount being bachelors, my eyes have always been drawn to you. Now that I know you, my heart, my soul, and my body literally crave your presence. Being around you makes me feel alive, makes me feel like a new person. I feel the exact same way about you, Dougie.”
You had avoided his gaze until the last sentence came out of your mouth, but finally connecting your eyes with his, he looked at you like you hung the stars in the sky. There were truly no words that either of you could say to describe your connection with each other.
You felt him squeeze your hand, pulling you from your thoughts about him. 
“You ready to get out of here?” he smiles over at you.
///
You two decide to hang out at your apartment for the rest of the day. You’re sitting on the couch, snuggled into his side. It felt safe. You were safe. Dougie was rubbing circles on your hand with his thumb, humming sweet nothings to you. You always thought that your job would be what made you feel the most fulfilled. But, this, this was it. This was what you’d been searching for this whole time. 
______________________________
Thank you so much for reading!!! Do you guys want a part 2???
29 notes · View notes
koreanmadeingreece · 5 years
Text
Sweet Chaos, 1/4
Jinyoung x reader (with a twist and another member of GOT7 involved, I’m not saying who she’ll end up with <3)
AAAAaangst because I was salty when I wrote it
This is the first part. It has four. LInks for the rest in my description. 
Word count: 2.689
“Would you like to go out with me sometime?” Jinyoung asked me. It was about a week after they returned from their world tour, so I wasn’t expecting that any of this was going to happen. Honestly, I wasn’t planning to do anything about it, other than go out with him and see how it went, even though I was absolutely certain that I was going to end it right then and there. If I was going to be completely honest, he wasn’t my type. He definitely was an extremely attractive man, but he wasn’t for me. And the only reason I accepted was because I knew really well that I had to take a few more risks in life if I wanted to make it a bit more interesting. Because I was boring. I was distant. And I was afraid of everything. I was in a dead-end.
That’s how I ended up having plans with Jinyoung that night. He was supposed to meet me around ten for a casual drink at one of our favorite places. There was a bar we tended to go to after I started working for JYPE, so we thought that, for the first time being alone, this was going to be a place wed both feel comfortable at. I decided to dress in quite a simple outfit, so I only wore a pair of jeans and a white sweater with my black combat boots and my favorite earrings. It was going to be casual, after all. I grabbed my bag and my car keys and left the house, ready to go meet him at the entrance.
I parked my car about a block away from the bar and walked two minutes to get there, thinking about what I was going to say to him. I wanted to make it clear to him that I wasn’t into any commitments for the time being, because I didn’t want him to think otherwise. He had the right to know that, especially since my mind was on someone else. I was such a slut. That’s what I was thinking as I was walking. How could I be into someone else but still go out with Jinyoung? Especially since it was one of his best friends. And then it hit me. I had to cancel everything.
I just had to turn around and leave, because what I was about to do was terrible. I could just call and say that something came up, or that I caught the flu. I don’t know, I could have said anything to prevent that from happening, but as I was searching for my phone in my bag, I heard a very familiar voice calling my name.
He was too handsome for my eyes to handle, honestly. I was thinking like crazy to find a way to avoid that date, yet when I saw him in front of me, I forgot everything. I just saw him wearing a button up shirt with black pants and couldn’t take my eyes off him. He definitely was sharp and had successfully managed to impress me, if that was his goal in the first place.
“Jinyoung, hey.” I smiled at him, and he smiled back. I can’t believe how much I actually loved his smile, even though I had never given it enough attention until that night.
“Shall we?” He was a gentleman. He opened the door for me and led me to a table, his hand gently placed on my waist. How could I even think of turning him down at that point? He was perfect, and I was going to enjoy it. He deserved a chance. And, when I gave it to him, I thought that there wasn’t anything I had to lose, and that it was just going to be a great date with a person that I like.
We sat at a table that we thought was the least noisy and ordered a beer each. He was indeed casual and didn’t overstep any boundaries, but as time went by, I started wanting him to make a move. Not anything too far gone, but he had started being more and more seductive. The way his sleeves were rolled up, the way he looked at me, the way he talked to me… I just couldn’t resist. I’d be lying if I said that I hadn’t started to like him as something more than a friend.
We talked about our work and the tour, and after a while, things started getting a bit more personal. We ordered a second round, so that made us chatty and relaxed enough to talk about our lives in general, and things that were beyond casual.
“Did you really spend all these years in depression?” he asked me.
“Yes, I did. I spent an entire year going to therapy, but now I can finally say that I’m over it in the most part.” The conversation had gotten way further than what I had predicted.
“Y/N, what you’re telling me is unbelievable… No, I wouldn’t say unbelievable because it happens. I just feel that you didn’t have to go through all this. You are an amazing person and you have to be aware of it.”
“Thank you for saying that. It really means a lot.”
“No, don’t thank me. It’s the truth. But, we’re out today, so we should have some fun, don’t you think? I’m not here to make you feel down, quite the opposite I’d say.” He suggested.
“You know what, you’re totally right. Do you have anything in mind?”
“Come with me.” He got up and reached for my hand.
“Jinyoung, what are you doing?” I couldn’t help but laugh as he was leading me to the middle of the bar and wrapped his arms around my waist.
“Dance with me.”
“Why should I?” I teased him, or at least I tried to. He couldn’t be so calm about the whole situation. I just had to make him lose it for a second, and that somehow became my goal for the night.
“Because I’m asking you to. And I think that you wouldn’t have gotten up with me and come in the middle of all the tables with all those people staring at you if you didn’t want to even a little bit.”
“You have an answer for everything, huh…” I wrapped my hands around his neck.
“No, not for everything. Just for the things I care about,” he replied. I did not see that coming, really. The way he treated me, the way he talked to me, the way he made himself look sexy but not too much to scare me away, that was all a dream. His hands on my waist were exactly what I wanted at the time, if not more. The entire situation was undoubtedly turning me on, but I wasn’t the type of person who sleeps with someone on the first date. Well, at least I had known him for a couple of years before that date, because I wouldn’t forgive myself for ending up at his place otherwise. He was always the person I relied on, and he seemed to think the same of me.
Meeting him was easy after I joined JYPE. It was natural, since I was hired as one of the marketing specialists of the company. It was me and another girl, who later became a friend and was also hanging out a lot with the boys like I did. But, hitting it off with Jinyoung among all the members of all the different groups was what no one believed at first. Jinyoung was always distant and didn’t actually pursue new friendships, so I never understood what he saw in me and decided to approach me. And, as it turned out, I ended up hanging out with GOT7 a bit too often. Sooner or later, we developed the habit of going to that specific bar all together, even though I wasn’t one of them.
Out of everyone in the group, I can say that I was closer with Jaebum, Jinyoung and Jackson. There were times that I was with each of them, but only as friends. I didn’t really have anything as far as relationships were concerned, but even if I did, I wouldn’t really share it with people I worked with. Not immediately.
After about a year, I started being a bit more comfortable with them. I often spent time each of them. I liked hanging out with Jinyoung and go for coffee with him or stay with him at work, but we never really went out alone. I wanted to approach him though, since he seemed a person worth being close to.
So, when I ended up at his place after having gone to that bar with him, it was more than a surprise to me. That was also because I never thought he had set his eyes on me, since I often found him being maybe a bit too close to our friend May, so I thought he was eventually going to ask her out. It seemed as if she liked him as well, although she’d never actually admit it. But, since Jinyoung asked me out and she didn’t seem to have a problem with it, I said yes, and this is what I got myself into.
I had no idea how it happened, but I liked where it was going. I had spent quite some time alone, waiting for the person I liked to like me back. And, since that wasn’t going to happen, I decided to enjoy what was in front of me. So, I waited to see if he was going to make a move, or if I had to do it myself. Either way, that night I was going to have fun.
So, now that it’s quiet and we can actually talk, would you like a glass of wine?” he smirked. He was so hot when he teased me this way.
“Why not?” It was going to be a long night after all. He went to the kitchen and I stayed alone for a few minutes in the living room. It was quite modern, yet cozy and simple. It was exactly like him. It made me feel good.
He returned with two glasses of red wine, and we sat on the couch facing each other.
“So, where were we?” he asked.
“Well, you were telling me that you pay attention to the things you care about.”
“Yes, I did say that. What about it?”
“Does that include me?” I knew that I was being straightforward. Maybe a bit too much. But, as I said before, I was going to have fun and nothing was going to stop me.
“I didn’t think of you as such a direct person, Y/N.”
“I am when I have to.”
“Does this answer your question? He left his glass on the coffee table and leaned towards me. When his lips touched mine for the first time, he was gentle and kind. Exactly like how he was treating me all night. But I knew there was more to it than what he had shown me up until then. So, I decided to make my move as well. I placed my hands on his cheek and deepened the kiss, hoping he’d understand where I was taking it. “So impatient, huh…” He smirked as we parted for a few seconds, only to catch our breaths.
“I am when something good is waiting for me.”
“Are you saying that I am worth your time?
I don’t know if you’re worth it. You’ll have to show me what you can do first.” As soon as I said that, it felt as if I had woken up a beast inside of him, as his moves completely changed. He wasn’t the kind Jinyoung I met earlier at the bar anymore. He was a man who was going to please me in a way no one ever had before.
I took the initiative to climb on top of him and he seemed to enjoy it. The tension in our bodies was taking over us. We almost weren’t thinking. I started unbuttoning his shirt, but he stopped me and pulled back from the kiss.
“Not here,” he whispered and I got off him. He got up as well and approached me again, wrapping his hands around my waist. He pulled me closer and lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around him and let him lead me straight into his bedroom. He placed me onto his bed and got on top of me, then started taking my jeans off. He lifted his torso up and took off his shirt.
“Nice view,” I teased.
“Trust me, my view is better.” He smirked and came closer to me once more, taking my sweater off, revealing my white lacy underwear. At that point I was thankful that I had decided to wear this specific pair that day.
It didn’t take long for him to take off his pants as well. Soon enough, both of us were completely naked, desperately needing each other. He opened the drawer of his night table and took a condom out. After he put it on, he came closer to me, placing soft kisses on my inner thighs, each time closer to where I needed him the most. He started moving his tongue on my clit, slowly at first, but his movements kept getting faster and more precise, in a way that made my body shiver. The pleasure he was giving me was something I longed for quite a while, even if it was from a different man. But, when Jinyoung’s tongue was between my legs, the other man was completely out of my mind, as I couldn’t think. All I could do was enjoy his skills and take advantage of them in the best way I could.
“Jinyoung, I want you.” I moaned in pleasure. “I want you so bad.”
“Your wish is my command.” He came on top of me and kissed me harder than before. This time, his moves were more certain and fierce, in a way that made me let go. He was in charge that night and I liked it. The tip of his member  was touching my entrance, and I couldn’t help but moan.
“You’re such a tease, Jinyoung.”
“Everything for a woman like you.” I reached his back and my nails scratched it as he entered me for the first time. His back muscles were always a turn-on for me, to be completely honest. I could hear him panting as he started to move.
“Don’t hold back your moans, Jinyoung. I love to hear you moan because of me. He started thrusting faster and let out those slight moans that made me melt into his arms. He lifted me up and lay down.
“Now I want to see you dance for me,” he whispered to me. I started moving while being on top of him, his hands on my breasts. The pleasure was something I almost couldn’t handle, but I kept going. I wanted to see him cum for me, because of me. I wanted to make him beg for more. I wanted him to be completely mine.
I started moving faster than before, until he was close to his release and I was to mine.
“Y/N, I’m gonna-”
“I’m close too.” Both of us managed to reach our climax, leaving us panting, facing each other. I got off of him and came next to him on the bed.
“Sleep here tonight.”
“Wow. Kind of bold for a first date, don’t you think?”
“Not really, considering that you’re already here, naked.” So, I ended up spending the night at his place, naked, lying next to him with his arms around my body.
The next morning that I woke up though, something was waiting at my phone that I wasn’t going to like at all. Six missed calls from Im Jaebum and a message that said: “You left early today. I have to talk to you, so can we meet?”
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Favored Ones, Part 5. (Joel Miller x Fem!reader)
Description: When you spend every evening with someone who’s deeply under your skin, a certain relationship can be developed. So it’s crushing for Joel when Y/N suddenly disappears. But there’s way more to the relationship that one would’ve guessed.
A/N: Inspired by Ecstasy by Crooked Still (Bitches who saw TLoU Part II. E3 trailer know what’s uppp).
Warning: ANGST bcs knife dad Joel Miller is full of anger and he needs a fucking break. I swear.
Tagging: @jodiereedus22 @nemodoren @xxgoldenhour @missdictatorme
Word count: 2.9 K
If you like this story, please, more parts can be found here! :): H E R E
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One day prior events of the hunt, 2038:
And so your plan was born. The great plan, as Ellie called it. Ellie was about to tell Dina and she was extremely nervous. 
You were pretty calm thanks to your impulsive behavior - you finally calmed down during those last two weeks and prepared for confronting the old man with the intel Ellie gave you.
Joel already knew that your hunting lessons are far gone by that moment. He was a bit sad about that - though he hated to say it, he missed those evenings. He was missing those moments when you two walked in the woods and talked, sometimes you shut up in one second and the other one you both were in a hunting mood, trying to show the other one who's wearing pants and who's capable of hunting down more animals.
He usually won. But when thought about it... He liked your competitions. Joel tried to tell himself that there's no place for having any melancholy at those times. But he saw you a few times here and there in the city while you were walking around with that fisherman's son.
So was he right in the end? You truly were into that boy. And as far as Joel could tell, he was in love with so much it almost hurt his eyes. That kiddo was obsessed with your every move.
But it made him think - you had enough time to be with that kiddo, but you didn't have enough time to improve your hunting skills, which made him furrow. Joel decided that he needs to investigate that situation. And what could have been better than talking to Ellie? So he joined her on her walk through the small town.
"Well, nice to see you after a long time, old man. Will you come to today's meeting about that city exploration we're planning next week?" - Ellie smiled at him and took some sweet potatoes you, she and Dina planned to grill on hot coal. The next thing she needed was some onion and chicken meat. You definitely were the best cook.
"I think I need to. I haven't been to one since October. I had too much work with those kiddos. You and your friends are scheduled?" - Joel tried to ask innocently. He was walking alongside Ellie throughout the whole market.
"Yeah. But Dina and Y/N probably won't make it to the meeting at all. Jesse will be there as always. Why? Do you need something specific?" - Ellie stopped and her smooth lips parted. She was thinking about Joel's motivation behind his questioning. It was almost six months ago since she and Joel had a proper conversation just like that.
"They won't?" - Joel rose his eyebrows and mist slowly came out of his lips. - "How so? Dina doesn't have time and Y/N is ill, or what?"
"No. They're going on the dance night. Dina is after a breakup and Y/N is going there with Philip." - Ellie turned back to the seller and pointed her finger on the best looking chicken breasts. - "But why would you care, big guy? These girls aren't your responsibility."
"Yeah. But I kinda noticed that Y/N is really good at letting her responsibilities be just as they are in the last two weeks." - Joel took the chicken meat and gave it to Ellie so the marketer would not interrupt their conversation.
"Is she? I haven’t noticed at all." - Ellie was playing on really thin ice, but she was smiling and she knew it really well, because she finally figured out what Joel is after. You and your time management. That would not be anything bad - if he cared about the others as well. She looked at him with her eyes partially closed, but didn't say anything.
"I did. She isn't coming on our training, didn't talk to me for the last two weeks, she doesn't go to the forest anymore and she isn't on most of the meetings." - Joel put his forearms crossed in front of his chest, furrowing at Ellie. - "Is it the kiddo from the lake? She's rather irresponsible these days. If she doesn't stop, it will have bad consequences."
"Philip?" - Ellie stopped again and looked Joel in the eyes. - "Also, why you're so concerned about her? She told me that she doesn't need your training anymore, she's capable of hunting on her own. Something happened between you two?" - Ellie furrowed her brows at Joel. So maybe he could be interested in some way - no, Ellie corrected herself. He was interested. He never thought about anyone's time schedule when they stopped training with Joel. Joel just didn't care enough to ask.
It maybe wasn't exactly the flame of endless affection, but he was thinking about you. That was a good sign.
"Does something need to happen for me to be curious?" - Joel looked far away from Ellie because he started to feel uncomfortable. Joel wasn't aware that Ellie knew about your crush on him; nor did he knew that you had told her. Yet he was feeling uncomfortable. - "I'm just worried about her future. That's all."
"Riiiight. About her future. Ok. But she's not in any bad hands. Don't be worried." - Ellie patted his shoulder. So that was probably all that he will get out of Ellie. - "But on another note, will you come tonight on the dance? I would like to have a round or two with you. Just like old times, huh?"
"You know that those things aren't exactly mine area, do you?" - Joel chuckled in his low, singing voice. He scratched his forehead nervously.
"You can ask Y/N yourself, don't you think? I can't speak for her." - Ellie raised her eyebrows in his direction. Joel looked at her as if she was about to go fucking crazy. - "About the hunting sessions, I mean."
When the big dance came by, you went with there with Philip by your side. Dina came along as well, not even thinking about going on the meeting to stand Jesse's ass one more minute. They had broken up again, so everything was going a-ok for that shy lesbian.
Ellie went to the meeting with Joel and Jesse - and she promised you that she'll try to talk Joel down. Nothing was for sure.
But you knew one thing - you and Dina started your evening with glasses of whiskey down and its bottoms up. You poured down at least three of them, so you would be able to let Philip's hands roam around your body. It did nothing to you, yet you needed to let him be during the dance. You were suffering every time he tried to touch you.
Slowly, the band members, with whom you've been drinking until that moment, sat behind their instruments and started playing as the hall started to get fuller - with people of all ages, like children, youngsters, and adults.
You gently dodged all of Philip's tries to make you dance with him. You sighed with relief when Ellie slowly entered the room with he faced red from nerves and winter outside. Oh, yeah - it was her big evening. Telling Dina. You were excited.
You waved at her as you danced with a small boy named Louis. She waved back at you and took a glass of bourbon as well. She was excited about that. Then you left Louis there to catch up with the young ladies in the hood to go for Ellie.
"Hi, baby." - She hugged you tightly and gave you a second glass of alcohol. - "I hope that I'll survive this night. God may help me. What about Philip?" - She asked and gulped a bit.
"We're playing dodge all the time. I just don't like that boy, I'm sorry. I'm waiting for the big game to come around." - You giggled into the glass. Oh fuck, you were tipsy as hell.
"There he is." - Ellie pointed her finger at the other side of the hall. Seriously Joel stood there nervously, with hands over his chest, looking around him. - "Here, take this to him and see how it goes." - She gave you her glass of alcohol and smacked your ass playfully. You screamed a bit with a happy tone. Ellie showed you crossed fingers and one corner of her lips slowly crept into a smile. 
So you approached Joel with your tipsy walk and lazy smile, rising your eyebrows. You gave him one glass and then smoothed your hair. The shirt you had on made your boobs irresistible. Every man must've looked at them at least once. Those old jeans were making your bum rounder... No wonder that Philip was into you so much.
"Look who we got here." - You gulped down the while glass and giggled, putting the glass on the table next to his hip. - "Really nice to see you here big guy, enjoying the life, having fun in the evening."
"Ellie wished me to come. Here she's with Dina." - He pointed at them and you just turned around to see them kissing. Good girl. Now, it was your time to hit the big jackpot. - "Oh wow."
"Do you want to dance as well?" - You blurted out so Joel didn't have to ask you absolutely anything. He just couldn't as he froze down. - "I mean... Ellie told me you wanted to ask me about something. A slow song is playing now, we have the time. What do you say?" - You asked innocently and played with the thought of taking his fingers into your palm, but you didn't do it.
"Youngblood..." - Joel sighed and drank the glass to the bottom.
"Just one dance. Come on. Won't hurt you, old man." - Joel looked at the people around you and then sighed again. He wasn't happy at all with you. But how could he resist?
You took a very similar hold on him as Dina did with Ellie; your hands circled behind his neck, your body so close to him that he felt how warm your body was. He put his hands on the small of your back and tried to look as annoyed as he could.
The trust was that Joel hadn't danced in the whole eternity. He was enjoying himself a lot at the moment, to be honest. Slow moves, gentle and romantic music, relaxed atmosphere, beautiful girl... No. He stopped himself with the melancholy. No space for that bullshit.
"So you stopped our sessions, you stopped the meetings, anything that I've missed? Or that's all?" - He asked quietly, his thumbs playing with a small part of your shirt.
"Oh, you missed my relationship with the nicest boy around." - You said sweetly and watched his jaw covered in a beard. Oh, how you missed that view. But now, you were too sensitive on the rhythm of his breath and on how warm he was even through the clothes. His chuckle resonated deep within you.
"Hard to be missed, youngblood. It's nice to see you happy." - He made you turn slowly before one of his hands caught yours and the second ended on your hip.
"I can be even happier. You know that?" - Your fingers gripped his shoulder tightly and for a moment, you pressed his body into his. And with that, he left you alone. He just stepped aside and you felt as your heart sank again. No. You slowly rose your head. Not this fucking time. This time, you were ready.
"And I don't do these things. You know that?" - Joel turned around with angry mumbling. - "So that's why Ellie made come here... Jesus Christ." - And with that, every of his one hundred and eighty centimeters disappeared into the white darkness outside.
"What the fuck is your fucking problem?!" - You ran after him, looking at him while the snow started to cover your hair and face. Your cheeks instantly reddened as you looked at him. He turned to you with the same affection as you yelled at him. Oh, this argument was about to be one of the best of your lives.
"What the fuck is my problem?" - Joel came closer to you, almost pushing you further away with his hands, but he stopped himself at the right moment. - “The question is what is your problem?” 
“My problem is named Tess and your grief over her.” - You told slowly and then you stood up straightly. Joel just closed his eyes and turned away from you. Yeah, Ellie spoke to you about a woman who she knew for a very short amount of time. As she spoke about Tess five years apart, she figured out that there maybe was something more. So that was the spot you should attack if Joel gives you a chance. Just as she attacked Sarah’s little spot in Joel’s heart. 
“Stop living in the past, Joel.” - You said loudly again, while Joel looked like he’s about to murder you. Nobody else knew about what happened to Tess, except Tommy, nor anybody knew that she did even exist. 
Joel attacked every time someone attacked his own past. Then it was his time to be offensive. 
“Like somebody who is still a kid, who basically never went outside the city’s boundaries and who has everything they need around them could ever tell me what living in the past is.” - He walked to you, his nostrils were getting bigger as he started to breathe louder. - “So I warn you to let all of this be and walk back, take that kiddo for a round or two and forget that we ever had this conversation.” 
“Or what if you fucking tell me, that you want to have... Something with me? How does that sound?” - You came closer to him, still not touching him. 
The snowy and cold air was slowly getting sultry. You needed to open up his eyes - Ellie told you everything she noticed while Joel caught up with her on the market. You spoke with her about that and Ellie told you that there might be something more into it, but that Joel is a much more complicated person to say for sure to say it. That he likes you.
“Just face it, Jesus fucking Christ, it is not that hard. You were curious about me stoping to come to our training, you asked about me and Philip even if you didn't have to care at all and you tried to get some intel from Ellie.” - You rolled your eyes and chills formed on your body. You two stood in a total snowy and ice-cold night. Fucking weather. - “And if you told me that you only care about my future, then you can shove this bullshit up your ass because I don't fucking care. Because you and me? We have something. We have a connection.”
So you brought up Tess, which hurt him - but Ellie was your source of information. He couldn't be angry with his baby girl because she told you after the two of them spoke at the market. She had to. She was trying to help the situation. 
He wasn't sure, but something gave Joel the feeling that Ellie knows him way better he knows himself. 
For a moment, Joel closed his eyes before looking at you once again without any of his normally forbidden feelings. You were a young, truly gorgeous woman. You were bright and capable of noticing small details even if you cursed like a sailor.
He wasn't doing any type of romantic relationship since the moment Tess has died. He wasn't exactly in love with her, but she was his girl for a long night. But you were absolutely right - there was no need for living in the past. And Joel was scared of it when the past was creeping up upon him almost every time he went to sleep.
And yet, there you stood, offering him a helping hand to let all of it go. You were offering him to bring him back to reality. And as you said, maybe the elders, like your very own parents, won't be too happy about that. Maybe young people will look at you differently. But you had courage which Joel was mesmerized with. You wanted to try.
To try leaving the past, both yours and his, behind you to focus on the future. And that was one of the bravest things he saw until that day.
In his own way, he missed your sense of humor, your cursing and your gentle fingers holding your bow just as he misses the way you smelled and smiled at him.
He wanted to try as well.
"You're right." - Joel said slowly and almost coldly, which made your heart sank with fear once again. - "I think that maybe we have something together."
"So is that a yes?" - You whispered and shook with coldness once again. Jesus, you needed to get on a warm place or a glass of whiskey. Maybe both.
"I think that it is a yes."
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eldonash · 4 years
Text
It’s Gunna Be May
Summary: It was May. Which meant that at the hidden ‘clubhouse’, a party was happening. In basement two, where all the best wines and blood was stored. A special person was being let out. What started as a joke, dare, and evolved into an actual acquisition, along with a lot of other strange oddities the vampires of White Crest were slowly collecting; 
Justin Timberlake was now a permanent guest in Bloodhaven. 
Featuring: Orobas, Carrington, Harsh, Francesca, (and a past Dewey) @carringtonblackwood​; @notsoharsh​; @caraitaliadolcemeta​
Orobas was drinking from a glass, watching the vampire who had the keys open the cell door and he almost clapped in glee. It did seem like a strange thing to be excited about, but it was a joke that had ironically brought many of them together. Orobas would always find humor involving his kin and their ideas. He had dressed impeccably, with a tailored suit and already had a nice tux for Justin to wear. He turned to the person near him. “Do you think-- the blue tie, or this one?” 
Carrington was… curious about what - or who, in this case - was in the room that was currently being unlocked with no small amount of joy on the part of the vampire next to him. He wasn’t a fan of imprisoning people against their will - he had his reasons - but apparently… apparently the person being let out didn’t mind? “Blue,” Carrington said after a small glance at the item in question. “Brings out the eyes.” He took a long pull from his glass - which was admittedly his… fourth… or was it fifth? - before leaning towards the person stood next to him. “Do you think he’s compulsed?” he asked of the man they were letting out. “Or just… trying something new?” If ‘new’ could be defined as being locked in the cellar of what was essentially turning out to be a vampire clubhouse of sorts, and only let out for a very specific - and time sensitive - reason. “After that god awful Trolls movie, I can’t really blame him…” 
“He’s here willingly, Carrington-- I think the fame got to him or something, maybe a nice break?” Orobas responded and put the blue tie with the tux. [texts Harsh] Come over to Bloodhaven, its started.
Harsh hadn’t had the best day. Fighting a weird mime clone thing was draining. But hell, he needed something to take his mind off it. So the text was a welcome distraction. He glanced over it, hesitating for a moment before responding. [text to Orobas] you guys partying without me? I’ll be over in a few minutes. [text to Harsh] dress nice :)
[text to Orobas] hey baby, you know I always dress to kill ;) Harsh tucked his phone away and threw on a decent dinner jacket. Maybe not the most formal, but it would have to do. His side still ached and he wasn’t up for digging through his closet for hours. Deeming himself good enough, he headed out the door.
Carrington hummed around the rim of his glass. “I’ve heard it does that. Some of the best and brightest have apparently-” He made a random, flitting gesture. “- vanished into the ether at the height of fame.” Another sip of wine. “Or at the bottom.” 
“Really? I never keep up with human affairs, interesting,” Orobas responded.
Dewey had absolute zero idea what would await him when it came to this little ‘party’. It had been over twenty years since he willingly attended an event hosted by vampires, specifically for vampires. Even going to Teeth had been considerably easier, because he had gone with the intent to nourish himself and enjoy another’s company. Parties were another beast entirely. He wasn’t drinking, opting to remain sober for the time being and instead, anxiously observed the others as they talked and drank. 
“You should try it now and then. They might surprise you,” Carrington said of humans. Though he didn’t feel so far removed from them as Orobas might, having tried to live a life as close to human as possible. After another moment of observing the… interesting situation… Carrington moved back to stand next to Dewey, who was looking a bit anxious. He set his glass aside in favor of touching the other’s back ever so lightly. “Alright?” he asked so only they could hear. “Say the word and we’ll go. No questions asked.”
Orobas glanced over at the other, noticing their stance, and remembering their conversation from before. “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” he offered, to be nice… or attempt to be. “I’m Orobas, let’s leave Justin to his shower and dressing. The wine room?”
The trip to Bloodhaven was thankfully mime-free. Harsh lightly knocked at the door, adjusting his jacket a little. Maybe he should have tried harder to dress up for this thing. He wasn’t totally sure what to expect when he walked in, but hell, after everything, he could use a party.
The hand served to ground him, the urge to crawl out of his skin abated a moment as he regarded the blonde with a tentative smile, then shook his head. “I’m fine, really. Just… taking everything in, is all,” And trying not to feel so out of place, which seemed to be increasingly difficult. He turned to the other when he spoke, offering a small nod and attempting to relax himself a bit more. “Dewey, a pleasure. And, after you,” 
A shout was heard throughout the building. “Cookies are ready!!!” As Marge, dressed to the nines in a stunning gown and matching hat came out with blood morsels wrapped in dough. Also opening the door for Harsh.
 “It’s… a lot,” Carrington agreed quietly, not taking his hand from Dewey’s back. His thumb stroked a small arch over the other man’s spine. He didn’t wish to hover, as Dewey was a grown man, and Carrington trusted him to speak up if he wished to depart, but he also didn’t wish him to feel uncomfortable. He waited as the two vampires introduced themselves, and watched with no small amount of curiosity as… Justin?... gave them all a cheerful wave and went about his business. Carrington blinked. “Wine would be… yes.” He gave Dewey a nod and followed suit towards the wine room. 
The little old lady who answered the door definitely wasn’t who Harsh expected, nor was the plate of cookies she forced into his hands, but he gave her a polite hello before following her into what must have been the wine room. “Looks like you started the party without me.” He grinned, approaching Orobas first and pulling him into a quick embrace before he turned to the other two. “Huh, small fucking world, I didn’t know you two would be here. So this is where all the cool vampires hang out? I like it.”
Orobas was glad to see Harsh, and though not many actually witnessed the softer expression on his usually stoic face, he smiled and hugged him back. “You would know everyone already,” Orobas was greatly amused. “Here--” he popped a bottle and filled it with wine for Carrington, and poured two more. “Did you eat? We can eat-- oh,” a look of corrupted excitement took over his face. “Did you all see Walter?”
“I see Marge has settled right in,” Carrington said, glancing towards the ceiling. She was a strange old bird, but seemed right at home among the small group of supernaturals. Odd, that. But Carrington had grown fond of her, and hadn’t had the heart to turn her down when she’d somehow managed to find out about his invitation from Orobas, and inquire about the ‘party.’ He raised a hand in greeting as he recognized Harsh, and thanked Orobas for the refill. He was curious how the younger man knew Dewey, but assumed it was from the hospital. “Who’s Walter?” he asked Orobas, giving the others time to greet one another. 
“The watermelon vampire in the garden-- so, a werewolf gave it to me after apparently it attacked some people in a farmers market and he got attacked trying to help. Some beasty--,  called it Walter,” Orobas explained. “It’s quite the story. Oh, and I paid $100 for it so now it’s officially mine, which means, it’s now yours too.”
Catching sight of another familiar face, Dewey’s anxiety lessened another fraction, gingerly taking the glass of wine that was offered to him. Still, he lingered a bit close to Carrington, and prayed, prayed that the blonde wouldn’t mind. He hated to feel as though he was dependent, and yet that was exactly how he must have come across. “Vampire… watermelon,” Named Walter. The doctor blinked, amused shock written plainly across his features. He took a large swallow from his glass. “Of all the… creatures I prepared myself to meet tonight, that was certainly not one of them,” 
“Nora the artist?” Carrington asked, letting his free hand slip beneath Dewey’s jacket to rest lightly against his shirt. He didn’t mind the other man staying close at all. In fact, he liked it very much. He gave Harsh a nod of greeting, glad there was someone else here that Dewey knew. “I like her. We’ve spoken online a few times,” he continued about Walter’s namegiver. He’d heard of such creatures as vampiric watermelons, but never seen one in person. “Can’t be anymore handsy than Marge, can it?” Carrington said, sharing Dewey’s amusement. “Shall we take a look?”
“They are very fascinating, how they are made is strange. Either way, they will keep people out of the front door,” Orobas responded to Dewey. “But you were prepared to meet other creatures?” he asked, a hint of a tease on his tone. “What exactly? Should I get more? Maybe we should. I heard there are a bunch of vampiric creatures in the world. They should all be around.” Orobas nodded at Carrington. “Yes, I think so. She was angry with me because I didn’t know what ham was. I still-- don’t exactly know what ham is if I’m honest. We can go to the hot tub and see Walter on the way to the deck if you like.” 
Carrington had no idea how one made a vampire watermelon, but the image that came to mind was from a rather horrifying musical he’d seen sometime in the 80s. Or was it the 90s? It all ran together sometimes. Either way, it interested him enough to want to see it. He laughed quietly at the thought of Marge fussing at a 400 year old vampire who didn’t know his deli meats. “It’s pork,” Carrington mentioned idly. He wasn’t sure if he would partake of the hottub this evening, but who knew where things would lead. 
Ankle boots heels hallowly clicked against the pine-toned wooden floor. As a good guest, Francesca never arrived empty-handed, each and every time bringing a fine bottle of red wine to add to their collection in the wine cellar. “Bloody hell, I’ve been waiting upstairs for ten minutes for someone to come say hi - like good manners demand. Now I drank half of the bottle I brought and you got no one to blame but yourselves, you pipistrelli.” With the open bottle in one hand and her iPhone in the other, she stared at them, noticing the little human celebrity on the back. “... ma che cazzo fai?” The red lips that left out the stern question were left slightly ajar, shocked to truly see fucking Justin Timberlake. “Now you’ll tell me Britney’s here and we’re forcing them to get back together?! Hey -” She walked faster, in the blink of an eye showing up closer to the group. “Have you tasted him yet? Can I?” Now Fran was excited.
“Francesca,” Orobas grinned, waited until she was near and kissed her cheek in greeting. “You are late as usual, lovely as always.” A feral grin met hers, in tease. “Britney? No, only him-- he’s on a permanent stay with us. Here-- we have a preserved bottle somewhere of his...” Orobas pulled one of the wine bottles from a clean, wooden shelf, looking like it was a deep red wine in design, but it wasn’t. “Give me your glass-- you can not bite him, he has to sing--” he popped the cork, and poured her something with more substance into her glass. “Anyone else curious?” He would pour some out if anyone was. 
Dewey couldn’t say that he recognized the vampire who had begun to descend down the stairs. But she certainly seemed… lively, was one word. Probably the best descriptor to stick to for now, lest he say something he’d come to regret. Orobas seemed to know her, but then again, he seemed to know pretty much everyone. Dewey offered her a small smile and nod in greeting, inching a bit closer to Carrington as he noted the hand steadying him. And then, when it seemed that things couldn’t get any more surprising, Orobas was offering them a taste of… Oh. Dewey swallowed thickly, turning to the side in order to give Carrington a small, hesitant glance. Did he want a taste? Where did the bounds of his curiosity end? Or, rather, where should they? He wasn’t entirely sure. But simply gazing at the bottle caused his throat to tighten. He would wait and see what Carrington would do - if he drank, then so would he. 
“What can I say - I’m not British.” Fran offered Orobas a genuine smile and kissed him in the corner of the lips in return. Then looked at Dewey, smiling at him to greet him too. “I can’t believe we’ve been properly introduced, but I’m Francesca.” Someone had to act like a British, after all. “Carrington, you’re stifling the boy,” she teased, noticing how the one she didn’t know quite well seemed to nearly cling onto him. “Oh bravissimo, I couldn’t deal with one more popstar. One’s enough.” Green gems watched as Orobas walked to one of the shelves, fetching a bottle then her glass. “What?! Why would you leave him in plain sight when I can’t go back home and say I ate Justin Timberlake?! Oh pleeeease, I promise he’ll be able to sing afterwards.” Her glass was off her hand, however, already filled up. Fucking A, there were no humans around, why did she have to use the glass. Francesca took another look at Justin, far away but not that out of reach. She then decided to go talk to him and showed up right beside him, linking her arm with his. “So, Justin, tell me - are you enjoying your stay at Bloodhaven? By the way, would you like some wine?” She offered her own glass. How sadistic could Fran get was yet to be answered.
“Un piacere come sempre, Francesca,” Carrington greeted the new arrival, his tone one of wry amusement. Though he made no move to be any further away from Dewey. If anything, he pulled him ever so subtly closer, hooking a finger through his beltloop. He gave Dewey a glance that was still more amused than anything, as if to say this is what happens when vampires congregate in groups of more than two or three. This was actually quite tame compared to other gatherings Carrington had been to in the past. Not in White Crest, of course. And not in the last few decades.  As for the blood being offered up to sample, Carrington wasn’t quite sure he wanted to taste Justin2020. But in the spirit of good manners, he finished off his wine and held out his empty glass to Orobas. “Just a measure then. Not too much.” 
Orobas narrowed his eyes towards Francesca’s causal tone and whine, but it shifted into a  demented, dark expression that changed his features subtly as the blood poured, and she wandered off to have fun with Justin. “Mhmm,” he chuckled. “Here Carrington.” Pouring him what he asked and also filling Harsh’s glass so he would heal. Orobas knew he wasn’t feeling one hundred percent; he just didn’t know why. “Justin is well, special,” he was speaking to Dewey, eyes red with a faint grayness around his features. With Orobas’ age he always seemed a little more monstrous. He inhaled his own glass, with a forced breath. “I have heard you don’t partake, I understand, but Justin is-- mhm, very different. Almost one of a kind, however, I can get you a bottle of something else if you are hungry.” Though offered his glass if Dewey did in fact want a sip.
From not that far away, Francesca kept a very casual conversation with the popstar, even found a comfortable spot for them to sit together. However, her ears were focused on the conversation happening a few feet away. This Dewey didn’t drink human blood? Oh wow. What a terrible life he must live. Shifting her attention back to Justin, she was delighted to see he, indeed, had accepted her glass, even if timidly at first. Her grin spread from ear to ear and anyone else in their right mind would doubt her excitement - not Justin, apparently. He drank, then grimaced. “Oh yeah, love, it’s a very old harvest, it’s a bit peculiar at first.” Wrinkling her nose slightly, she nodded a few times. That’d never get old. And… “OUCH!” Justin shouted, staring at the Italian, who was pushing his wrist away from her bloody mouth and shoving it on his lap. “HE’S FINE!” She declared to anyone who was interested, just in case, and instantly took the glass back from him, pulling off a silk handkerchief from her wrist and pressing against his. “Here, darling, put pressure on and that boo-boo will go away soon enough.” And turned her back, knocking back all the blood left in her glass and quietly returning to the group. “...” And acting like she didn’t do anything.
Well, wasn’t this nice, to be put on the spot… Dewey would have broken out into a thorough sweat if possible, heavily uncomfortable with the others seeming so hooked on his decision. He swallowed again, and almost winced at how dry his throat had become. A parched ache that seemed to spread and wither even in his lungs, every breath holding the faint aroma of the glass Orobas held out to him. But, he had said before, if Carrington partook. And he had, so… “Thank you,” He expressed quietly, gingerly taking the glass and bringing it tentatively to his lips. Even before the crimson hit his tongue, he knew it would certainly be unlike anything else he’d ever sampled - or guzzled, depending on the decade. He hummed in his chest, the liquid soothing the ache, quelching the fire in his belly, a balm only human blood could provide. So caught up in thoroughly enjoying the taste, he hadn’t realized until too late that he had done a bit more than that - the glass was entirely empty.
“Oh God, I… I’m so sorry, I-I didn’t mean to--”
Carrington gave a nod of thanks and held the glass to his nose briefly, taking in the rich scent for a moment before taking a slow sip. It was… it was good. Very good. Good enough that the small sip turned into two, turned into finishing the glass in one long, graceful swallow. “Indeed,” he murmured, agreeing with Orobas as the other vampire spoke to Dewey. “Oi,” he said to Fran as she… bit into Justin unexpectedly. He tutted slightly, swiping the last bit of Justin off his lower lip with his tongue. “At least ask the man first,” he said aside to Fran as she came back over.
But his attention was drawn back to Dewey as he took a small glass of blood as well. Carrington didn’t even think about it as his eyes locked on the curve of Dewey’s mouth around the glass, and the way he drained it like he’d done it a thousand times. Or the way it left a red gloss over his lips. It was… Christ. He blinked as Dewey suddenly apologized. “Don’t do that…” he said, leaning over to speak into Dewey’s ear. “I couldn’t take my eyes off you…” 
When did such a motion steal so much of his attention? Orobas blinked stupidly, and offered a grin at Dewey who seemed surprised. “It’s fine-- you are hungry. I have an entire bottle, and well--” He turned to shake the cotton from his head and got Dewey his own glass and set it into his hands; thrilled, he wasn’t going to keep starving himself. Meeting Carrington’s gaze briefly as if to share the same thought, he walked over to Justin, setting the bottle near him and checked his wrist with a surprisingly tender glance and wiped the blood from his lips. Tightening the fabric, Orobas gave Fran one of those ‘remember all those times I told you I would kill you’ glares, but it still somehow seemed affectionate between the two. Orobas sat down on Justin’s lap, crossing his legs and poured more of the bottle into his glass, his fingers toying with the back of his head. “Is anyone else coming?” he asked the room at large. “Justin, think about some songs for us.”
Dizzy. That seemed to be the most accurate descriptor for how Dewey’s head currently felt. He had been drunk on blood and wine before, many, many years ago, and had come close to it when he and Carrington had visited Teeth a few weeks prior to now. Justin’s blood was certainly a delicacy, however, something truly special. And when Orobas filled his own glass, he savored the taste this time. With Carrington’s voice practically purring in his ear, he tilted his head, red-stained mouth slowly curving into a wry smile. He made agonizingly slow work of circling a tongue over his lips, catching a drop before it rolled down the corner of his mouth. Making sure the blonde caught every bit of the action. “Is that right?” His own voice lowered an octave, bringing himself a bit closer to Carrington, lips parting for a fraction of a second - before slipping a hand in his and tugging him towards Orobas and Justin, unable to keep the teasing smile off of his features.
Carrington met Orobas’ eyes, the unspoken thoughts behind the other vampire’s dark gaze clear as crystal. Something about watching Dewey willingly partake in the drinking of human blood (willingly given, of course…) stirred something in the darkest part of Carrington’s mind. That part that was rarely touched on, or even thought about, because that would mean Carrington had to relinquish some of his self-control. Though if he were honest, letting go just a bit sounded like a fine idea. He didn’t see the glance Orobas shared with Fran, his attention almost fully on Dewey, but he did hear his question. “I’m not sure. Everyone I know is already here.” He let the comment float away, his attention caught once again by the man next to him. Carrington’s eyes drifted to his mouth, to the way his tongue caught the last drop of blood before it disappeared again. 
If Carrington had possessed a heartbeat, it would’ve been beating just a bit faster by now. He could only make a small sound of confirmation at Dewey’s question, not trusting his own voice at the moment. His own lips parted ever so slightly as Dewey leaned in, but then - Christ be damned… - he was being pulled along. Carrington couldn’t help his own grin, though half of it was admittedly from the thought that turnabout's were fair play.
“I didn’t want to scare him,” Francesca whispered back to Carrington, self-aware with all those judgy eyes on her. It was a lie, of course - Fran simply didn’t like asking for permission. What was the fun in that? Then Orobas went to check on Justin and her lips got a bit tighter as she chewed her full bottom lip and watched him with the corner of her emerald gaze. She was going to reply with a teasing-comment, but at the sight of him sitting on Justin’s lap and playing with his short hair, her fangs popped out and she raised her eyebrows slightly, as if to say that she didn’t pay any attention to his threats. Glancing back to the happy couple, the brunette watched the scene, tilting her head a little. When they finally seemed to get out of their bubble, she laughed. “Oh wow, love birds, don’t make me jealous, please.”
Francesca watched with attentive eyes every move Orobas made. Indeed, Justin’s blood was something else. It wasn’t the best she ever tasted, but it was different from most living things in White Crest so far. Yet she wasn’t willing to succumb to the Timberlake charm - or, in that case, Orobas’ sole reason for pride and glory in that particular night. She didn’t like their proximity one bit when she was there, standing alone. “I’m good, grazzie” she replied, turning around to go fetch the bottle of red wine she brought and was already open, feigning disinterest. Not that she was actually excited about Justin Timberlake, pop and celebrities had never been her thing.
Orobas smirked when she trailed away with a fake disinterest, knowing exactly what he did, and did with purpose much to his character and consistent cruelty when he felt the desire to play mean. There was something disturbing having her so casually back in his life, time once more reminding him that he should pay attention a little more and not let it get away from him so much. Orobas wondered if he should fill everyone in on the issue having her here meant. What lingered out of sight, what’s been on his mind to deal with for centuries. No, don’t spoil the fun with vampire business. “Mhmm,” he stood up, pulling Justin as well, and started coaxing him outside. “Get ready--” he said with a gentle push to his back and held the door open for them all. “Find a comfortable seat, it’s nice out tonight. Request a song for Justin--” He suggested, before walking away, back into the area where Francesca was, blocking her path out. He just looked intently at her for a moment like he was thinking hard on something, before grabbing more glasses, and offering his arm. “Come on, why are you pouting so much? You just had to wait, we could have eaten him later--” He rolled his eyes. “Forever impatient--” A barely there tease to words said a million times over. “Come sit with everyone and stop being alone.” 
The brunette glanced back for a moment, watching Orobas gently push Justin outside. In her head, she had him shoving him out and Justin falling face first in a puddle of mud that magically appears right before him. “Oi -” she called for Orobas attention, watching the guests follow the lead. “Ask the man first. Don’t be rude.” She did exactly what Carrington did to her, saying the exact same words - and a few more because, come on, it was Francesca - obviously on purpose. And carried on emptying her already quite empty wine bottle whilst looking for her next one amongst so many options. When she turned though, her new bottle in hand, there was Orobas, standing in her way. “...ma cosa, Orobas? Che fai?” Her green eyes stared at him in confusion and the ever-so-often present frown showed up in her forehead again. Squinting her eyes a little, she looked at his arm and accepted it, linking hers with his. Still a little suspicious, though. “Now he’s going to sing and who knows if that’s going to attract all those bonker girls here. Wait -” She contemplated the idea for a moment. “Do you think his fans could find out where he is? Oh, that’d be so nice,” Fran sighed in her a little too murderous dream, as if she attacked a couple of Justin Timberlake fans, she probably wouldn’t be able to stop with all the blood going about. “And I’m not impatient - you’re just too slow,” ouch, she knew that had been a bit too much bickering. “Fine…” She sighed loudly, rolling her eyes and watching the rest of them. Carrington and Dewey looked so cute. She hoped he had found his bit of happiness, even if just for a while.
Seeing everyone around, happy, and content with Justin singing happily from the deck railing. Orobas’ arm tossed over Harsh’s shoulders. Hmm. He could get use to this. 
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bondsmagii · 5 years
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(over the last month or so, I’ve been working on a small project for Halloween. I’ve long since been fascinated by the paranormal experiences that occur in childhood – it seems everyone has at least one incident that occurred when they were younger that they can’t explain now. I have many, of course, but I started thinking about the children I grew up with. what were my childhood friends experiencing at the same age as I was, when we were in class together; hung around together? I managed to get in touch with several old friends I had from the ages of 8-11, and asked them to share that one incident they couldn’t explain. I have recreated the stories here, with my own narrative supported by excerpts from their letters – and it’s a pretty impressive bunch of stories.)
LAURA
Laura grew up in a small English market town, living just before the town’s end in a row of old, Tudor-era houses. At the back of the house was a large orchard and communal garden tended by the row, and at the end of this garden was a steep hill at the top of which sat a railway line.
In that area, there was really no safety measures regarding the railway line. Sometimes it was on a hill, but very often the track was just there, and all you would do is look both ways before crossing. Naturally there was a lot of concern among the adults that the children would play on the railway line, and in an ironic twist of fate they decided to put on a presentation at school telling everybody of the dangers. I actually remember this presentation myself, and it was incredibly gory – probably far too gory to show to a bunch of nine year olds. Naturally this created an absolute fascination with the railway line, and Laura recalls a time I had somehow almost forgotten about until I received her letter about it.
It was coming up to the summer holidays, and school was beginning to relax. A group of us had been hanging around at Laura’s house, and we had walked down to the part where the track was simply flat on the ground, and one was expected to cross it like it was nothing more than a road. We didn’t cross it, instead sitting up on a nearby metal gate that kept the farmers’ field separate so animals couldn’t escape, and for a long time we sat and watched the trains come shooting past. Most of them were passenger trains, moving pretty quickly, but occasionally a heavy freight train would come past, a mile long and slow enough that the driver would give us a wave and yell at us to be careful as he passed.
Laura was the first to notice the fact that we would sometimes hear a train approaching and yet see nothing. She had been wondering if she was actually hearing it for a while (she was hard of hearing in one ear, and so sometimes she found it difficult to pinpoint the direction of sounds), but soon she was absolutely certain. Trains are deceptively quiet, but after a certain point the rails will rattle and hiss, and the wheels will be audible. Several times Laura heard this, only for no train to appear – the rail was completely straight to both sides of us, and on a clear summer day we could see down it for over a mile in both directions. Eventually she pointed it out, and we all tried to make sense of it without much luck.
Later that night, as Laura was getting into bed, she realised she could still hear the trains rattling by. Her bedroom was at the back of the house and she had a clear view over the dark gardens, right to the rails. As she put it herself:
The thing was, when I saw the trains normally I’d be able to see the lights. The passenger trains would have all the windows lit up, and the freight trains had these huge headlights at the front that would light up the line of the track a long while before the train showed up. It was pretty cool, actually – just this line of light at the end of the garden. When my bedroom light was off, I’d be able to see the curtains light up a little, and after a few times hearing the train I realised that wasn’t happening. I watched for about an hour, and saw two actual trains, but I heard trains about five or six times and saw nothing.
The next day was a Saturday, so Laura spent the day out in the orchard at the back of the house. She was hanging out with her older sister, who she asked if she’d heard anything unusual the night before. Christy said she had heard a lot of trains, but as her bedroom wasn’t facing the garden, she wouldn’t have been able to see that there hadn’t been that many visible. Now, something important to add about Christy is that she had Downs Syndrome, and as a result she was quite childlike in her mannerisms – even though she was older than our group, we had to keep an eye on her because mentally she was a little younger. This is important, because Christy didn’t really understand the concept of lying. She never told a lie of her own, and she was very gullible. If somebody was mean enough to lie to her, she would absolutely believe it hands-down. This is probably why Laura took what she said next with a grain of salt.
Christy asked me if I’ve heard the ghost stories about the rail line, and of course I’d heard a few because everyone had ghost stories about everything. I knew about ghost trains, or the occasional whistle sounding and nothing coming, but Christy told me one that I’d never heard before. She said that a few years ago, there had been a man and his daughter who had been driving a white van, and they had turned on to the farm road by mistake. The van had got stuck on the rails, and as they were getting out to call someone, a train struck the van and killed both of them. The van itself was pushed slightly down the track and then off to the side, where it fell into a concrete drainage ditch. Christy claimed that the train that hit them could be heard going down the track but would never be seen, but if you ran to the drainage ditch and checked, you’d see the van there.
It was a good story, but not one she could have come up with herself. I really did think that some people from school had been telling her stories, but she didn’t seem upset by it, so I just played along.
The sisters went back inside for lunch, and in the afternoon they mostly entertained themselves. It was only at around dinner time, when their mum went into the garden to call them inside, that they noticed Christy was nowhere to be found. This in itself wasn’t unusual – the orchard was huge, and Christy often liked to hide – but after a few minutes of calling and her not appearing, everyone began to get worried. Laura, remembering what they had been talking about, decided to go and check the railroad crossing, and snuck to the end of the garden and followed the track up to where it was. She didn’t tell her parents where she was going, because Christy wasn’t allowed that far away by herself, and she didn’t want to get her into trouble. She was about ten minutes away when she heard her sister crying, and she quickly found her sitting in the bushes at the side of the track, incredibly upset. It took her several minutes to calm her down, and by this point Laura was very worried – it was unlike Christy to get so upset, and certainly unlike her to not be calmed quickly by a hug. Finally she calmed down enough to tell Laura what had happened.
Christy had been up to the crossing, clearly remembering the ghost story she had been talking about earlier. She had heard the strange sounds – the vibration of the track, and the wheels apparently clattering over it – and when she hadn’t seen a train she had decided to go and see if the stories were true. At this point she got upset again, but Laura managed to work out that Christy was claiming to have seen the van in the ditch, just like the stories had said.
Laura was very worried now. She was sure it was just a story, but Christy was so genuinely upset, and her sister didn’t lie. It didn’t occur to her to lie, and she didn’t really understand the concept. Either Christy had actually seen something, or at the very least she was convinced she had seen something. Laura was also curious. She couldn’t think about what Christy might have seen that could be mistaken for a van, and she was beginning to wonder if the stories were true. The crossing was only a couple of minutes away; she tried to convince Christy to show her, but Christy refused to go back. Finally Laura had her hide in the hedges, and promised that she would go and check and tell her what it actually was. Laura reports what happened next:
I got to the crossing and didn’t see anything, so I walked up a bit alongside the track and looked into the drainage thing on one side. There was nothing in there – not even any water, because it had been so warm lately. So I went to check the other side, but I was too scared to just walk across the track, so I went back to the crossing where I wouldn’t have to step between the rails and could walk on the little concrete pathway instead. As I was about to cross, the rails started shaking like how they did when a train was coming, so I waited. And waited. And waited. And then it stopped and there was no train, and I was like, great! This means if there is a haunted van or whatever, I’ll be able to see it. So I walk over the track and I strut up there confident I’m not going to see anything too freaky, and there was this… it’s kind of weird but I’m sure you remember the pumphouse or whatever it was? The building that was sort of built into the drain that was always locked. Well, I couldn’t see anything behind it, but as I walked past and could see into the ditch again, there was a van. An honest to God van. It was upsidedown, so I didn’t know what I was looking at at first – I was looking for a white van but it was just the black/dark grey undercarriage – but then I noticed the wheels. The freakiest thing was one of the wheels was still spinning.
I turned and legged it back to Christy, freaked out beyond belief. I was going to tell her, but she looked so scared that I actually told her a lie. I can’t even remember what I told her it was – a bunch of rubbish, I think – and I felt kind of bad for lying but she looked so relieved and cheered up right away, so like. I suppose it was better that way. We went back home and told our parents she had just been hiding and that was that, but I was lowkey out of my mind all night wondering if I should have told them about the van, and if there had actually been an accident.
Trains continued to pass as normal, though, and nothing was ever mentioned about a collision. The next day, Laura went back up there with a few other friends and they looked, but there was no sign of the van or any damage to the track or the ditch. After about a week, the phantom sounds slowed down and then stopped. It became a ghost story we passed around (with varying levels of belief from different people in the group, of course) but mostly Laura had gotten over the creepiness until the next year, where she started noticing the sounds without the lights again. This time, she didn’t bother to investigate – instead looking away from her window whenever she heard it – but some asking around at school revealed one final interesting fact: the alleged accident had apparently occurred just before the beginning of the summer holidays – the exact time that Laura and her sister would start to hear those sounds.  
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algrenion · 5 years
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[ #implied CSA tw _ #CSA tw _ #dissociation _ #dissociative identity disorder _ #mental health _ #PTSD ]
is this scene remastered? or am i tripping out? honest question. 
It has to be remastered, right?
‘Cause i mean, this game came out in 2001 supposedly, and it shows now in the gameplay, however advanced it might have been at the time... but damn.
Remastered or original, Takayoshi Sato clearly put an immense amount of thought and effort into these brief little animations... Just look at these beautiful shots... and for that matter (though i only have 40 mins of gameplay so far to take this from), from my perspective, he seemed to put a certain amount of love and care into animating Angela, specifically? 
I’m going to sidetrack into the writing for a moment, as we all know Character Design Is My Passion.
Angela is my favourite character so far in Silent Hill 2, so i’m really intrigued by the detail and realism in just... little flashes of her storyline and character presentation. That said i believe they handled her dialogue and scripting (for the english vers. at the very least) very clumsily, considering they’re tackling an extremely sensitive subject matter with the addition of her storyline. Even more clumsy’s been James Sunderland’s approach to her -- unless they were trying to make him out to be a self-centered, oblivious and mildly sexist (and i would not be surprised if that was the intent! Seeing as most of the monsters in this verse seem to represent flaws in either James’ or the other protagonists psyches, and especially focus on the male gaze) then perhaps they might have chosen some different dialogue for the scenes they’re involved in. 
I’ve watched and analyzed the Abstract Daddy boss fight / character / sound / environmental designs. And I felt the dialogue was handled so poorly, it does a disservice to the very grotesquely accurate symbolisms in the scene, as the player is left with this sense that -- through the dialogue -- Angela is somehow in the wrong, and irrational in her ‘back-and-forth’ views on male sexuality, while clearly going through a distinct mental breakdown, influenced by her father’s abuse. In that I believe the scriptwriters (again, at least for the English dub) executed the post-fight scene’s dialogue... poorly.
But, with personal details in mind, I can say that in an overall sense, the team handled her infantilization and confusion quite realistically. 
I’m a suspected sufferer of childhood PTSD with repressed memories, and I’ve been told by my psychiatrists that even small things, like being left alone too long, to big things (like being witness to domestic violence), can trigger a state of infantile speech and presentation (ex. Angela makes a point of correcting herself by saying “Mother” after having said “Mama”, in order to reinforce the adulthood she is losing her hold on, which I, and Angela, both do very often -- hence why I find her so relateable). 
These types of traumatic and dissociative disorders can also lead to blackouts, confusion and lost time. Uncertainty of what you might do to yourself when left alone. Again, these are all things that me and Angela share in our character. 
I think, in that sense, they’ve presented her with tremendous realism. That’s a very, very personal take, however, and I understand there’s thousands (if not millions) of people out there, similar or worse off in circumstance than me, who I’m sure would contest with that view. But for me... I felt that every interaction with Angela portrayed a piece of myself... My mental health, my traumas, and my dissociative disorder.
Going back to my original point, as far as animations go, this brief little 20 second clip is absolutely stunning and surpasses what I see in most modern video games. And I was literally like four years old when this came out. 
If anyone could confirm if this is a remastered scene please get back to me, it’ll be important to keep tabs on for my personal research.
I’m sitting here with a notebook just scribbling bulletpoints on any little detail I find worth mentioning, and I reckon by halfway through watching this three-and-a-half hour lets play, I’ll have filled at least a notepad’s worth of (extremely abstract/speculative) amateur Game Dev. ramblings, which may become my personal bible.
I just... I want to learn, and keep absorbing all the info and the merits and flaws of these utterly beautiful, masterfully created games that never stood a chance on the market in how far they strayed from the growing industry’s popularity contest -- and somehow, against the odds, held their ground and grew succsessful. Sometimes not only successful, but revolutionary in a genre where originality and (in turn) success, are very limited.
Sorry, I went on an absolute tangent there, I started studying the gameplay not long after I woke up and I’m still pretty hazy :’-)
(this is what happens when you finished high school with a 5% attendance because you’re sick and disabled, then your passions evolve entirely in front of a computer screen and you cry every time you see mildly impressive technology from the times you were blossoming into a little gamer baby)
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