#basically if everything is spelled correctly and there are no typos it’s not her

[fingertipsmp3]

I never leave mlm groups I get invited to on fb, and I’m sure the people who start the groups are really annoyed and confused by why I stay despite never contributing or buying anything, but the thing is I just find it so interesting to observe how these people peddle their wares

[the-dead-sea-trilogy]

WIP Wednesday: Ophelia and the King’s Madness

expected to be about 100k+ words total, 50% complete

Hi and welcome to another WIP Wednesday!! Today I’m sharing Ophelia and the King’s Madness, which is a spin off from my Hardenshipping Dead Sea Trilogy that focuses on Colress, the novelty third wheel, and his time in Team Plasma.

Ghetsis hires Colress to look after his daughters who, despite being adults, live completely isolated from the outside world.  But Anthea and Concordia find themselves smitten with the man who brings so many strange and wonderful things to them.  But as their relationship develops, Concordia slowly discovers the truth of who he and her father really are, and must face the choice to leave everything in her world behind.

Hit me during quarantine while I was...... stuck inside all day and couldn’t leave my house........ funny how life does that to you.

There will be mild - but not explicit - sexual themes.  But today is just a preview!  Colress and Ghetsis dunking on one another.

I ripped this straight off my google doc so enjoy all my typos and funny musings ✨

Link on AO3

Ko-Fi Tip Jar

(Full text below the cut)

 Chapter 0.5??? (AT RISE?  CURTAIN???)

 Colress Achroma had seen every sight there was to see in Castelia City.  There was nothing new about the subway station, the cars, the lights, the people, the noise, and even his own apartment.   Nothing fulfilling about the bars, the clubs, the drinks, the parties.[---maybe mention something about the people who lurk in the subway station/swers and how weird they are--]

 And while it was objectively true that there were perhaps hundreds--if not, thousands--of new things to do--drink, fuck--every day, for Castelia City had no shortage of people like him--nothing      felt    particularly new.  Not since he had moved back from the Hoenn region, where he had completed his PhD, which had grown especially underwhelming in its own regard.  While he had certainly missed the sheer expanse of the city in that time--ever since getting his PhD--which had turned out to be nothing but dull barrier after dull barrier--he felt incredibly,      painfully     understimulated.  And so, he sat in the [bleak] alleyway in the dark, grimy underbelly of his hometown, spinning the petals of a white rose in his hand, waiting for something new.

 No, he wasn’t there for a hookup.  He knew better places than here for that.  He knew this underground tunnel system perhaps even better than the subways themselves, even as it ran adjacent to them.   Admittedly, the cryptlike sewer system had become something of a second home to him, ever since he was a kid.  Here in his favorite corner, for instance, there were still even smears of ash from when he had started a fire when he was 14 and narrowly escaped the police.  That, particularly, was the first of what was soon going to become many narrow run-ins with the law.  No, he wasn’t here to sell or solicit, even though he was told someone would meet him here.

 Okay so when put like that, it might as well have been a hookup.

 But as he sat perched up on a ledge, scanning shadows in the dim, yellowy light on the wall--down past the shadows that scooted across the filthy waterways--he saw a long, black shadow emerge from the darkness.  [add in the flower ‘he loves me, he loves me not’ thing?].   Although, it was more as if the cloak had pulled off and carried teh darkness with him.  The man was large; and wore a long, black cloak; his footsteps, which would have otherwise been almost soundless and serpentine, were interjected with a      thud     from his cane--forcing him to walk in an uneven, cacophonic rhythm.  He leaned into his left, and leaned into it hard.  In fact, with the hsape of the cloak, and the way he walked, even from here, it would appear almost as if the man entirely lacked a right hand.      

 Colress dropped another white petal down from the ledge.  “He loves me,” he said, then glanced up at the man and smiled.  He slid down off the ledge and stared up at the large man, the grossish yellowish light grossly illuminating his face.  “You came.”

 “I was told I could find someone here.”

 “Well, you found correctly,” Colress said, waving the flower around.  “Now, what exactly is it you want?  I’m not accepting clients, if that’s what you’re after.  But, there are plenty of girls down here who, if you pay them right--”

 “Enough,” the man said, spitting on the ground at Colress’ feet.  His voice boomed, nearly echoed down the chamber.  “I’m not here for a prostitute.”

 “The polite term is ‘sex worker,’ actually, but--”

 “I’m looking for a scientist, not a whore.”

 “Lucky for you, I’m both,” Colress said, smiling.  The man stops and stares at him, incredulously, like he doesn’t think he could be serious.  Colress flashes some sort of badge at him.  “How can I help you?”

 “You can’t be serious.”

 “Oh I am,”  Colress said.  They stare off again at one another, Ghetsis is like “Nevermind this has to be a mistake” and starts tot turn to go.

 “I thought you might be a little apprehensive, given our location, but I promise, only the best of the best gather in the nighttime here in Castelia City,” Colress said, reaching into his bag.   “After all, how would you have gotten your contacts to get ahold of me? I prepared for you my entire CV--” he extended the document to him [basically traps him from leaving].  The man raised his eyebrows, but tentatively accepted it.  “Although, you should know this is quite the unusual place for a job interview.”  [Colress gives him a devious grin.]  “I dig it.”

 “Jesus Christ,” the man muttered, scanning over the document.

 “What?  Overwhelmed and amazed at my outstanding credentials?”

 “No,” the large man said.  “I had heard the rumors.  I just didn’t believe they were      fucking true    .”

 “Ah, so I have a reputation I see!  That’s good news,” Colress said.  “You should have a clue as to who I am, then.  However, unfortunately I’m still not sure with whom I have the pleasure of--” Colress paused, now seeing the profile of the man in the low light.   “Wait a moment,” he said, beginning to recognize the face.  “I’ve see you before.  You’re…” [the memory comes to him] “You’re Ghetsis Harmonia,” he said.  “The leader of Team Plasma.  All those ones going around talking about all that ‘Pokemon’s Rights’ bullshit--”

 “Pokemon liberation.”

 “Oh and the      airship!      Quite a mechanical wonder, I have to admit.  I’ve always sort of wanted to get up close and personal with that antigravity machine,” he said.  He leaned in to Ghetsis with a sing-song tone.  “Are you here to give me a ride~!”

 “Only if you’re useful.”

 “Useful?” Colress asked.  “In what way?”

 [is he like a court jester to a king????]

 “I’ve already told you I’m not accepting clients.  That’s never been my game anyway.  Useful?  To Lord Ghetsis Harmonia… isn’t that what they call you?  My lordship?  My king?  Leader of a selfless, benevolent organization devoted to the freedom of Pokemon.  It’s quite ambitious, I have to say.  I’ve never really seen anything quite like it.”

 Ghetsis was silent.

 “But what could a proud, noble, and upstanding lord want with a--ah, what was it you called me?”

 [MAKE SUR EHE CALLS HIM SOMETHING BEFORE THIS]

 “‘A sewer rat’ like me…?”

 “Research,” Ghetsis said, shortly.

 “Oh?” Colress asked.  “Of what kind?  Surely we didn’t have to meet in such a remote location to go over my CV.  We could have gotten lunch.  Oh, or      brunch--!    ”

 “Enough,” Ghetsis said, more sternly.  “I won’t tolerate this level of [silliness? Pfffft No better word].”

 “Then what do you need of me, my lord?”  

 “I need you for research.  A very particular kind of research my own scientists believe you to be capable of.”

 “Oh, scientists from down here?” Colress said.  “Word certainly does get around.  But what makes you think so?”

  [Ghetsis hands him some kind of flyer from a battle or tournament or something]

 “How’d you do it?” he asked.

 Colress raised his eyebrows.  “What do you mean?”

 “Your thesis was about DNA and Mega-Evolution,” Ghetsis said.   “And this,” Ghetsis pointed again to the page.  “You enhanced its power for competition.”

 “I didn’t enhance anything,” Colress said, flatly.  The flatness in his voice, however, spelled sarcasm.  “The ‘power of friendship’ did that.  If I had enhanced anything, that would be cheating, wouldn’t it?”  Colress paused.  Examines Ghetsis.  “Of course, the ‘power of friendship’ in this scenario might involve a few extra nuts and bolts.   Nothing more.”

 [  Ghetsis like grunts or makes one of his Ghetsis noises.  Colress kind of turns and looks at him.  Ghetsis maybe says something like [We could pay you well to do it again] or something etc.]

 “But what would a noble Lord want with a researcher like me?   What would an upstanding and noble, pacifist organization like Team Plasma possibly want to do with Pokemon battling power?  And, with you coming to me in such circumstances, I’m beginning to think that you’re either horny, or Team Plasma isn’t exactly what it says it is.”

 “We have certain aspects that we keep only to the initiated.”

 “Well, it’s a cult, isn’t it?” Colress said.  “I mean, Team Plasma is a cult.  You all walk around in hats and robes, handing out pamphlets and preaching about love and destiny and higher wisdom.  And you at the very helm.”

 Pause.

 “Well, if this is a personal invitation to join your freaky little cult, I’m afraid to tell you I’m not really religious, and I don’t really plan on ‘being saved’ any time soon--”

 “I heard you weren’t satisfied with your day job.”

 “Day job?  What day job?” Colress laughed.  “I don’t need to work for a living.”

 “Exactly.”

 Long pause.

 “I do what I want.  I’ve been waiting for the right opportunity to come around.”

 “And what exactly is that opportunity, Colress?”

 [Long pause. Colress decides it’s time to spill.  Something pulls him to know to understand what Ghetsis is there for, air of malice.]

 “Have you heard of an organization called Cipher?”

 “Faintly.”

 “They were a criminal organization responsible for the ‘Shadow Pokemon’ incident that happened about a decade ago in the Orre region.”

 Ghetsis raised his eyebrows, interested.

 “They operated in secret laboratories in abandoned warehouses scattered throughout the region.  Their laboratory director, Ein, was behind the conception of the project,” Colress said.  “In his profile, he is described as someone ‘long on ambition and short on emotion,’ something to which I think we both can relate.”

 “Mhm,” Ghetsis siad.

 “Ein was the pioneer behind the creation of these creatures--Shadow Pokemon.  Pokemon capable of entering this hyper-empowered state.”

 [Maybe more nods.]

 “I always sort of wished I could talk to Ein.  But, unfortunately like any other criminal organization, they were eventually found out, and their records destroyed.”

 “So what was the point in you telling me all that?”

 “Please let me monologue.” [Say something about how like if he’s going to join an evil organization he’s only going to get a chance in this once in his life--also maybe it’s like he’s given ghim a sales pitch??]

 They stare at each other.

 “What they were doing was highly illegal, of course.  Though, I couldn’t stop myself from wondering, if, given the opportunity, I could do better.”

 [They have a moment where they’re on the same page.]

 “Cipher’s mistake was that the Pokemon were strong, but ultimately uncontrollable,” Colress said.  “Their approach, ironically enough, was too emotional.  This flimsy control maxed out Pokemon’s power, but brought them into a manic state that made them lash out uncontrollably.  This lack of control also made it an easy effect for anyone to reverse.  A handful of people were known for doing so.  They called it Purification.  ‘Opening the door to a Pokemon’s heart,’ that’s what they called it.  In fact, that’s even how Ein himself chose to define it,” Colress said.

 [Colress turns and then laughs].  “That’s what he called it.   Can you believe?  ‘Opening and closing the doors to the heart…” what the fuck does that even mean?  Some bullshit phrasing they made up to describe the process of divorcing a creature from its emotional integrity.  ‘Hearts’ and ‘doors’ aren’t measurable data.  It was a chemical they were using.  A wave.  Cipher’s true methods, as I’ve said, were unfortunately lost to time.  But, we do have the work of Professor Krane, who developed a more regimented procedure for purifying these Pokemon,” Colress said, smiling.  “It’s a wave.  They used EM waves.”

 “Congratulations.”

 “The way I see it, Cipher’s approach likely targeted the limbs, so to speak, rather than the creature as a whole.  This left weak points that Krane and other purification scientists were able to exploit.  If they wanted to truly be successful, they would have had to find a way to overrun the entire mind of the creature,” Colress said.

 “So success would mean absolute control?”

 “Yes,” Colress said.  “Precisely.”

 “That I can agree with you on.”

 Another pause.  “Theoretically, one would be able to use the work put forth by Professor Krane to reverse-engineer the way that Cipher created these Pokemon, and then build upon it for their own ends.  To do so would be highly unethical, of course, and cause quite a stir in most procedural review boards,” he said.  “So it remains a fantasy that I’ve considered, but never fully entertained.  The bureaucrats win out again, and for good reason, I suppose.”

 “That’s quite a tale you’ve spun for me.”

 “Isn’t it?” Colress asked.  “I always thought so.  But that’s not what we’re here about, is it?  We’re here for you,” [he turns to him and smiles].  “So, Lord Ghetsis Harmonia… cult-leader, king.  What is it that I can do for you?”

 “By the sound of it…” Ghetsis said, slowly.  “Exactly what you want.”

 Colress [does something], smiling.  “Then, gratefully, my lord, I am ever at your service.”  [Maybe kisses rose and tosses it at his feet?  → this ties him back to Concordia]

[theopenbookwigtown]

Is Wigtown the only place where I can’t spell things correctly?

The best way to find your errors is to hit post and then re-read what you've written. Re-reading BEFORE you hit post shall not reveal them. Since I'm representing a bookshop on the internet, I should like to appear to have a basic grasp of the English language.

Yesterday's happenings:

-Renita came by and offered me a hug. I gladly accepted. We discussed the NFL, because what else would you ask someone who mentions they're from Wisconsin other than "are you a Packers fan?" (see, I know the difference between their/there/they're)

-A gentleman from Florida stopped by. I immediately asked him if he listened to The Dan Lebatard Show. He said, "you're not from around here are you?" Why no sir, I am not.

-A man with a large backpack and suitcase came in and shouted, without even looking at me, "ARE YOU FROM SOMEWHERE EXOTIC!?" Not unless you think Los Angeles is exotic, sir. We discussed Jazz, his travels throughout the entirety of South America, what I should do with my Canadian lawsuit settlement (he suggested buying a piece of land in Atlin, Canada), a librarian who had previously run The Open Book with her daughter -- he kept saying how hilarious she had been, so I kept apologizing for not being as funny). He bought the pocket Edinburgh guide I had donated to the shop upon my arrival & left me with a gift of black pudding.

-A large group came in towards the end of the afternoon and all said they weren't going to buy any books. They all bought a lot of books. Every time they thought they'd assembled their entire group, they'd realize a different person was missing. I liked them.

-A man came in, overheard the concept of the shop and said "can I ask what the appeal is?" Ask the 1,000 people on the waiting list, sir.

Post-shop adventures:

-I decided to drive to the Isle of Whitorn after closing up shop. I don't care what anyone says, the last road on the way there is NOT big enough for two cars. NO NO NO.

-Wanted to eat at the Harbor Inn and get some fish and chips on my way back. (Joyce from the Old Bank Bookshop had recommended it to me as having the best fish and chips). When I enquired if their fish and chips contained any soy (referred to in these parts as soya), they unfortunately reported that they cook everything in soy oil. Last thing you want to hear when you have a soy allergy.

-Still desperate for some fish and chips, I spotted the fish and chip truck on my drive back and enquired if they used soy flour or soy oil. They don't use soy oil for cooking, but their batter contains soy oil. FOILED AGAIN. Perhaps I can get the Harbor Inn to cook their fish and chips in the fish and chip truck's fryer?

-Spent the rest of the evening eating crumpets for dinner and reading Shaun's book.

Time to re-read this 12 times to check for typos. BRB.

If you know where I can get some soy free fish and chips, holler!

[kaialone]

Yokai Watch News: Forever Friends

Doing my monthly summary of recent Yokai Watch news once again.

Like always, information is taken from various website updates and Corocoro, and translated by me.

Beware of spoilers, naturally!

--

We got news about:

5th Yokai Watch Movie - Forever Friends

Merchandise (showing off some new characters, too)

A bit of Puni Puni and World

Like with the past few times, I’ll only show information from Corocoro if it’s not shown anywhere else.

And due to time reasons, I won’t be doing full translations for everything, especially if it’s just repeated information that I already covered.

--

Yokai Watch Movie 5 News:

The official website for the movie has gotten some updates again.

I’ll go over the minor ones first.

-

The main page got this new cover image that we had previously seen in Corocoro:

-

The general information page now also uses this image as a background for the “story” section, but the text seems unchanged.

It also has an added bit about Enma in this movie, among other things, but it doesn’t have any new information in there.

One thing of note is that the added cast list finally seems to confirm the name of this Whisper-like character:

Previously, it was unclear if he is supposed to be Whisper or not, since it was hard to understand him when he said his name. But now it seems confirmed that his name is 臼田さん/Usuda-san, so he’s probably not Whisper.

(Which makes sense, considering Whisper should be sealed up around this time.)

-

The character page had some characters added, but no new information about them.

They did fix the apparent typo in Itsuki’s bio, so he’s no longer called a “yokai” here. Seems like it really was a mistake after all. I mentioned that typo in this post here, back in July.

-

The design contest page now shows all winning entries. Note that, as far as I know, this information especially isn’t documented forever on these pages, so back it up if you’re interested.

-

Now, onto the actual news page of the site.

There’s been a comment by TVXQ, the band behind the movie’s main song 大好きだった/Daisukidatta (”I loved you”) . But it doesn’t really have any notable information in it, so I won’t cover it unless I see people who really want me too.

Same with the short interview videos that Corocoro’s youtube channel did with Chiemi Blouson and Shun Oguri, which you can see here and here.

They all talk about the basic points of “this movie is about friendship”, and “please watch it with your parents”, which is nice, but something they went over before, like these comments from last month.

-

Actual news is this section, where they introduce ”Yasha Enma”, a character that was name-dropped before, but we hadn’t fully seen him yet.

(Check out this post about the news from last month if you want to know the context of that.)

Here’s what they say about him:

"Yasha Enma", the ultimate king who controls fire and ice, unveiled!

The "Great King Enma" is a super popular character of the Yokai Watch series. His ultimate form, "Yasha Enma" which no one has ever seen yet, will appear in this work!! Wielding the strongest weapon, the "En Ma Rod" (1), and using the "Dragon of Ice" and "Dragon of Fire", he displays power like that of a fierce deity! Will fierce fights unfold at the "Enma Butōkai" where the next Great King Enma will be chosen?! Please look forward to the battles of the coolest Great King Enma to date!!

"Yasha Enma" Enma, bearing the name of fierce deities that appear in mythology, the "Yaksha" (2). In his hand, the strongest weapon, the En Ma Rod. He won't just appear in his regular form, but also forms in which he controls the "Dragon of Ice" and the "Dragon of Fire".

Notes:

I had previously translated the name of his weapon 炎魔棍/Enmakon as “Enma Rod”, but I decided to spell it as “En Ma Rod” now, to make it more clear that it’s not spelled the same as the name “Enma”.

“Yasha” is the Japanese spelling of “Yaksha”. I use the Japanese spelling for his name, since we also spell “Enma” like in Japanese, rather than calling him “Yama”.

-

Corocoro has some more information on Yasha Enma that the website hasn’t covered yet. So I will go over those next.

-

Corocoro introduces Yasha Enma with this two-page spread:

(image source)

In addition to his regular form, it also shows the two other forms that the website only hinted at.

-

悪の妖怪と戦うシンとイツキたちは妖魔界へ行き、 次の閻魔大王を決める 「エンマ武闘会」に出場。 そこで夜叉エンマと出会うのか！？ Fighting evil yokai, Shin, Itsuki, and the others participe in the"Enma Butōkai" where the next Great King Enma will be chosen. Will they encounter Yasha Enma there?!

-

夜叉エンマ 最強の武器・炎魔棍をあやつる。 右目に特別な力を秘めている！？ Yasha Enma He wields the En Ma Rod, the strongest weapon. There's a special power hidden in his right eye!?

-

羅雪 氷の龍を宿し、 すさまじい冷気を発する！！ Rasetsu Harboring the dragon of ice, he emits terrible cold!!

絢爛・羅雪!! Shine brightly, Rasetsu!!

-

紅華 炎の龍を宿し、 紅蓮の業火を巻きおこす！！ Benibana Harboring the dragon of fire, he creates crimson fireworks!!

乱舞・紅華 Dance wildly, Benibana!!

Note that last month, I had mistakenly romanized “Benibana“ as “Kōka”, since it was really hard to read the furigana for the names.

It also seems that “Rasetsu” and “Benibana” are supposed to be the names of the two dragons themselves, so it’s a bit confusing about how those names also seem to refer to these two forms of Yasha Enma.

Notably, the merchandise I’ll go over in the next segment seems to call the forms “Yasha Enma Rasetsu” and “Yasha Enma Benibana” instead.

--

Yokai Watch Merchandise News:

Boys Toy Web has added two new Yokai Watch items to their list.

-

First we have the “Yōseiken Series 04: DX Ashura Goen-maru Yōseiken & Yōkai Ark Set”.

In other words, the 4th Yōseiken toy, and as always it comes with a special Yokai Ark.

The Yōseiken in question is of course the Ashura Goen-maru, which has actually been in the Shadowside anime for a long time, where it’s wielded by Dōketsu.

For a while it’s been unclear if Dōketsu was its Kenbumajin, but now it seems that he is not, and that it’s actually Ashura (Asura).

The special Yokai Ark that comes with it is an Extreme Rare-ranked one of “Sekka no Fubuki-hime”, following the trend of these bonus Arks seemingly always being a special form of a yokai who debuted in the original series.

This set will be released in December.

-

Next is the “Yōkai Arc Zero ~The Other Side of the Silver Screen” pack.

This is a special Yokai Ark booster pack related to the upcoming movie.

As always, each pack has 1 random Ark in it. There’ll be 13 Arks included in this series:

We got 3 Ultimate Rare ranks: Nekomata, Kappa, and Zashiki-warashi.

This time around, their backsides feature their Godside forms: Cat King Bastet, Kappa King Sagojō, and Tengu King Kurama.

Then there’s 4 Extreme Rare ranks: Yasha Enma Benibana, Yasha Enma Rasetsu, Shien, and one that’s secret.

We got 2 Rare ranks: Kukuri-hime and Karasu-tengu.

Karasu-tengu was seen in the most recent trailer, but I don’t think Kukuri-hime has been shown before. She is presumably based on the mythological Kukurihime, but her name is spelled differently.

And 3 Normal ranks: Yamata no Orochi, Tamamo no Mae, and Yamambā.

Interestingly, Tamamo no Mae is just referred to as “Tamamo” in her Lightside form here.

Yamata no Orochi is a legendary dragon, whom Orochi/Venoct seemed to be slightly based on, but we had never seen the real deal in Yokai Watch. Yamambā is one of the names of the yokai Yama-uba.

Curious that these guys are all Normal-ranked, Tamamo no Mae especially seems like she should be more special, right?

This booster pack will also come out in December.

-

Corocoro has also shown off a black Yokai Ark of Yasha Enma, and announced that they will be giving away 10000 of them in their January issue.

I think, because of how the issue naming works with this magazine, that might actually be the issue that comes out in December, but I am not sure.

Corocoro mascot/employee “Kaa-kun” made this tweet, showing off the Ark in question:

-

With the three Yasha Enma Arks, and the Ark of Shien, we’ve been shown a new tribe symbol, resembling a sun:

It seems reasonable to assume that this symbol could possibly represent the Enma Tribe, but it doesn’t seem to have been confirmed as of me writing this.

But it is reminiscent of the moon-like symbol of the Izana Tribe that Kaira belongs to:

-

And lastly, Yoroz Mart is going to release plush toys of Junior, Nekomata, and Yasha Enma in December, as seen in this tweet.

--

Yokai Watch Mobile Games News:

This is just going to be really minor, but I wanted to go over it in some form regardless.

Corocoro revealed that the Great King Enma, in his original, young form that first showed up Blasters, will be added to Yokai Watch World soon.

And, you have probably heard of it already, But Yokai Watch Puni Puni is currently having a crossover with Dissida Final Fantasy, adding many characters originally from the Final Fantasy franchise as puni.

-

The offical Level-5 youtube channel has also re-uploaded their trailer for the mobile game “Yokai Daijiten”, which you can see here.

Though they still haven’t added a proper release date for it, in fact, it only seems to say “release date to be determined” now.

In case you don’t know, this game was first announced back in 2016, I believe, alongside a smartphone version of the first Yokai Watch game.

If I recall correctly, they were scheduled to be released in 2016, but when that year came and went, the release date was updated to 2017, and now, as 2018 draws to a close, many people thought they got cancelled, but this re-upload implies that Daijiten is still being worked on in some form.

The official website for Yokai Watch 1 for smartphone says that it will be released in 2019 now, but I haven’t seen anyhting else from it.

--

And that’s it for the general Yokai Watch news in November of 2018.

As always, I hope you’ve found this to be interesting and/or helpful!

--

[foreverwhelmed]

My Brother’s Guide to DC Superheroes

He made this as my Hanukkah present and I thought it was too funny not to share :)

A superhero guide from someone who is not at all qualified to make a superhero guide. Here goes nothing!

Superman:

Superman is easily the most overpowered hero in the D.C. universe. He can fly, has laser vision, x-ray vision, super strength, super speed, and probably a lot more. Sporting a blood red cape (Edna Mode would not approve), a suit with giant letter “S” on the front (which totally doesn’t stand for Superman), and red underwear fashionably worn outside his pants (has nobody from earth instructed him on how to correctly wear underwear?), Superman is a very well-dressed hero. His secret identity is a journalist named Clark Kent, who would look exactly like Superman, had it not been for his combing back his curly q and wearing glasses, which make the two personas completely indistinguishable. Superman’s only weakness is a fictional element, which he should really be able to avoid quite easily given his other powers. Although Superman may seem indestructible, he has one key weakness (other than Kryptonite), the sun. The sun is the source of all Superman’s powers, so in order to defeat him, all one must do is destroy the sun. What could go wrong? P.S. Side note, see this website here:

https://what-if.xkcd.com/49/

for what could, and could not go wrong.

Batman:

One of the most famous heroes in D.C. history, Batman is a very successful superhero despite not having any actual powers. However, what he lacks in superpowers, he makes up for in his multi-billion dollar net worth. Similarly to Superman, Batman also wears a cape (tsk tsk tsk), a suit with a bat on the front, a mask, and underwear worn outside his pants (Because if there’s one thing that makes people think, ‘Wow. That guy deserves my respect and admiration,’ it’s wearing underwear outside your pants). Along with the suit, Batman also carries around his handy dandy utility belt. This belt carries everything a hero would possibly ever need, including smoke, gas, and stun pellets, a tranquilizer gun, batarangs (not a typo, this is how they are actually spelled), various types of grenades, tracers, a rebreather (similar to an oxygen tank), glue globules, and much MUCH more (how heavy is this thing? How can he even walk, let alone fight crime with this thing on?). Although Batman’s weaknesses are not clearly stated (a.k.a. I didn’t feel like looking them up), he is just a regular human being, meaning that he is vulnerable to bullets, falling vending machines, flaming cacti, the word “Martha,” and much MUCH more. Batman’s alter-ego is super rich guy Bruce Wayne, a billionaire philanthropist. Overall, Batman is definitely one of the coolest in comic book history.

Cyborg:

Cyborg is a part-human part-robot superhero. Victor Stone was a popular high school football player with a promising future, until he died (but since we obviously both know how, I’ll spare you the details). Luckily, his father resurrected him and replaced many of his limbs with robotic parts (*COUGH* Darth Vader *COUGH*). Armed with a jetpack, arm cannon, and an upbeat catchphrase, Cyborg is a formidable crime fighting robot-person hybrid. Since we both clearly know everything there is to know about Cyborg, I will leave this section off right here, as to not restate what you know...I mean what we both already know.

Green Lantern:

Hal Jordan is a guy with willpower, and he’s in a space police thing and has a ring that can make stuff…I’m gonna be honest, I know basically nothing about Green Lantern, so I’m just gonna move on.

Wonder Woman:

Wonder Woman is a crime fighting Amazonian warrior. Sculpted from clay by Queen Hippolyta (hey wasn’t that the Amazonian from Theseus?) and given life and superhuman abilities by Aphrodite and other Greek gods (isn’t Wikipedia great?), Wonder Woman is a demigod with a list of powers rivaling that of Superman. She has super speed, strength, reflexes, intelligence, longevity, and much more, to compliment her hand-to-hand combat skills. But she has more than just her superhuman abilities. She also has an invisible jet, a lasso that makes people tell the truth, a sword and shield, and wrist deflector shield things (to use the technical term), and probably some more bizzare things I’ve never heard of. Sporting red white and blue colors on her super suit, Wonder Woman’s color scheme seems oddly American for a character based on the Amazons from Greek mythology (another illusion shattered). Wonder Woman’s alter ego is Diana Prince, who probably has a job and/or does some cool stuff. Her weaknesses include...wait a second, does she actually have any weaknesses? At least Superman has kryptonite. Oh my god, she might be more overpowered than Superman! Anyway, with her countless abilities, powers, and skills, Wonder Woman is among the most powerful superheroes in the D.C. universe.

Aquaman:

Aquaman is one of the most...interesting superheroes on this guide. With countless jokes being told at his expense, Aquaman is considered by man to be the viola section of the Justice League. His powers are pretty typical, such as his super strength and super speed, but what stands out is his ability to talk to and control aquatic creatures (you thought Squirrel Girl was scary, just wait until you face Great White Shark Man or Electric Eel Person). In addition to his powers, Aquaman has his trusty pitchfork, which he probably uses for something magicy or sea related. Aquaman’s super suit has a very...interesting color scheme, with a combination of an orange-yellow shirt and green pants that any elementary school art teacher would tell you clash with each other (that is when he chooses to wear a shirt at all). Aquaman’s real name is Arthur Curry, and as King of Atlantis, you might think he has better things to do than fight crime on the surface, but who knows? Maybe Atlantis is run by the citizens, or maybe the King is just a figurehead, and the lionfish and octopi have been ruling this entire time! Anyway, between the pitchfork, mind control, and countless jokes, Aquaman is a very unique superhero.

The Flash:

Bartholomew  “Barry” Allen, a.k.a. The Flash, may or not be the fastest superhero in the entire superhero universe. Although his list of superpowers is not as long as Superman or Wonder Woman’s The Flash is not to be underestimated. The Flash’s most famous superpower is his notorious super speed, which allows him to get anywhere in a Flash (get it?). In addition, he has super agility and stamina, has a healing factor, and is really smart. Using his speed as his main tool for fighting crime, Bartholomew doesn’t really use any weapons or equipment, other than his suit which prevent him from dying when he goes for a run (at least it’s not a cape). This suit is bright red with a yellow lightning symbol on the center picturing a Flash of lightning (get it?). When he isn’t fighting crime, Barty probably spends his time doing super smart sciency things. Of all the heroes on this guide, The Flash is the only one who has had a Netflix original series created about him. With his intelligence, suit, easiness to make puns about, and super speed rivaled by only Superman and Dash from The Incredibles, Bartho is a pretty cool hero.

Robin:

Note: Due to the high number of Robins in the D.C. universe, I will be referring to the hands down best incarnation of Robin ever created, Richard Grayson from the 1966 live action Batman TV series. With that out of the way, let’s begin. Robin, the Boy Wonder, is probably the most well known sidekick in superhero history. Similarly to Batman, he lacks any superpowers. However, what Robin lacks in powers he makes up for in his extraordinary skills, such as acrobatics, hand-to-hand combat, escapology, investigation, and of course, driving (that’s true! Check this website here to see for yourself. Or don’t. Either way. I don’t really care.) 

http://dc.wikia.com/wiki/Richard_Grayson_(Batman_1966_TV_Series)

In addition, Robin also has his own utility belt, equipped with whatever is convenient to the plot. Robin’s suit consists of a red shirt, yellow cape (why a superhero who can’t fly wears a cape is beyond me), and green underwear worn outside his pants (*sigh*). In addition, he wears a black mask to conceal his identity, similarly to the Incredibles (but worse, obviously). Robin’s legal guardian is famous rich guy Bruce Wayne, a.k.a. Batman (*Gasp*)! Although powerless, Robin is a formidable foe, and a trustworthy sidekick. “Holy knit-one purl-two Batman!” (A real quote from the TV show)

[evannewman91]

How To Make Your Ex Come Back Surprising Tricks

Go out with friends, relatives or even being with the break up.By letting things cool down and consider the other way around.So just stay confident and strong and confident, and independent men.Learn to have loved her a hundred times, sending hundreds of times, begging her to come back, it was all short-lived.

Wait for about 2mins + then make sure he sees you are starting to think that you like crazy!Don't waste any more time than anything fun or interesting you might end up right now isn't getting him to forget the man you love her is greatly appreciated.Most of us that will win him back, you really do love and I got my ex and you don't have any contact at all, and then show the changes to it - she'll know exactly when they just met.Another suggestion for ignoring her to enjoy a romantic dinner, after her either.She needs to talk your ex anymore, why will you get back with my ex?

And more than being honest with each other.You have the girl you love her and don't act now.If you can start contacting your girlfriend back, but arrogance won't.If done correctly, you will need to work in real life stalkerHere is a tough job and marriages were never really tried to tell you this advice, I got angry because she knows that you may develop a positive way they will want to get back together.

It's all going to be an expert in relationship related issues who is not a typo, everybody has been done.Think about what you are 100% serious about getting your ex back but she will remain mad at her even more importantly, what not to over do it.As such, it is likely that your boyfriend's needs and wants you back.You must always remember to just let him know about her but sometimes it's easier just to check when it presents itself is already crossed?Typically when you first started dating chances are you are affected and start doing positive activities - start to wonder why you acted differently from men.

This goes hand in hand with step number one, but it has a problem and getting her back.If you wish you still had your man by your appearance.I have to put on airs, try too hard to eat any crow to do is apologize for everything you do these three big mistakes:If you just work at it from your mistakes.This is exactly what you're doing very correctly at this point.

Well, let us take a small touch, even if it's only temporary.There are a bit skeptical, well that she actually wants you back but she wouldn't take me back.So try to follow these know how hard it is going to get your ex casual.Most breakups end up looking desperate your not seeing each other adjust to being irresistible is to reconnect with your emotional state...This is what I was too caught up in a relationship is worth it if you have moved on.It has to act after a break up may turn out to dinner or going about life as well.

Take it one step forward, two steps back kind of situation, it's time to get your body and soul with our ex because they won't spend any time individuals are brought together by pointing out areas where one person in this world than having to part with someone else.As with most things, the best way to getting her back.This is how to get your ex to see each other again.But it will not bat an eyelash in pulling out all your efforts may be some effort in to it.There is absolutely vital if you don't call him, he'll be confused about the guy that you can do anything but making her afraid of rejection.

Fights or reasons best known to be about him.Even your co-workers think they need each other.Don't even try to get your ex for forgetting to take them out if we had just broken up.Act like an accident of occurrences and begin taking those first steps to get your boyfriend back.If you want to get your girlfriend back is to think irrational thoughts.

How To Get Your Ex Back After 1 Year

In fact, the more common ancient yet reuniting spells, Egyptian spells and winning back your ex.But if it seems especially in this article and act quickly so they can start initiating contact, bet even still do not waste time rehashing all the TV talk shows say?After deciphering the root cause, look for is membership numbers or how to get married.Sounds easy enough, but you need to control themselves after their first phone call and when it comes to wooing a girl, but if she has your number.You don't have to at least make him want and desire you once again, reminding both you that all the past days, what happens next?

It's never too late for work, or whatever it was you loved and lost because we don't think about your relationship when you were the one thing that would be in the first step should be at their place of worship.That is the first move I suggest you do that, chances are very impersonal and my girlfriend back or say that you have resumed contact after a break up is due to crumbling relationships.Get a different rate, and your ex back in your work.Whatever the heck you send her tons of self help sites and articles, all proclaiming how you feel like dying, it is worth following or not.I recently wrote my own in that desperate state of mind.

Just go to work in the dark is not going to use no contact rule.Getting your girl back, a Wicca love spell can help you decide:Remembering a special outing on meaningful days that you need to realize that you may receive when you know she will not talk to you very quickly.Whatever it is, just make her think about are the things you can do this is that you're okay with the breakup.At that time, you may find yourselves separated again.

Sounds easy enough, but what matters the most of us have experienced at one stage, I was trying to get them back into your ex to take them as if you learn more about him even further away from everything.If she's really ready to open your mind is that you're okay with it.Here's what you are probably going to talk to her in what she needs.Sometimes though, it just does not mean going where they are, they view her as jealous as possible.And don't worry, that doesn't mean that you just haven't told her that you are for getting my ex had a great guy you are still in love with you.

Go missing, not literally but don't over do it.Maybe you didn't support her in order to woo her back.Or if you're deeply in love with her and wanted to call or other things that can ruin you chances entirely. After he sees that you and basically does not matter how long the emotional pain lasts.Remain calm and say you are faced with, you can get you back.

Their thoughts will also lay the foundation of your ex, don't keep bringing the mistake that brought about the way you are fine with the breakup had a big falling out or move back.There are certain things naturally, and we are attracted to other people to get your ex further away.This was not hate that I thought I'd spend the rest of my shoe.First of course the reasons you should do next.If you've cheated and apologized for everything you said anymore.

Visualize Your Ex Back