#i also tend to notice if someone else wrote the post it’s a lot more upbeat and there’s more technical language in the post

[fingertipsmp3]

I never leave mlm groups I get invited to on fb, and I’m sure the people who start the groups are really annoyed and confused by why I stay despite never contributing or buying anything, but the thing is I just find it so interesting to observe how these people peddle their wares

[kikixreverie]

Need to know

Best friend!Bucky x Fem!reader

Summary - When your best friend starts acting strange and you're left confused about his feelings, Natasha manages to convince you to try to make him jealous, what could go wrong?

Word count - 5k

Warnings - kind of smut, Dry-humping, slight dirty talk, a lot of kissing, fluff, jealousy

A/n - This was a request from an anon but Tumblr ate the ask... and I don't have it written down, but it was something along the lines of 'Best friend!bucky x reader where she asks him advice about a guy to make him jealous'. I wrote this months ago and it definitely wasn't supposed to be this long but here we are. I have edited it about 50 times now and still feel kinda anxious about it since I haven't posted in a while so I really hope you enjoy!

-------------------------------------

You had always been close with Bucky. Always. Having met in your teenage years and grown up together, you were thick as thieves, he'd been your best friend for now the majority of your life. Someone you'd always go to over anyone else when problems would arise at home or school, and he did the same with you.

He had found you hiding out in the library on your second day at your new school, picking at your food with distaste as you sat alone. You were surprised at the fact that the boy had even talked to you in the first place, offering a small wave of his hand and a kind smile when you first saw him, but when he asked politely if he could sit with you and didn't hesitate to pull his lunch from his backpack and complain as dramatically as possible that there was just 'far too much food in his bag and no way he could eat it all', you remember smiling the most you had in weeks, rolling your eyes as you took the fruit he had offered you wordlessly.

You'd been best friends ever since, and there was always this unspoken understanding between you, one that you never had with Steve, as much as you loved him, or Natasha, as close as you are. It was always different with Bucky, always a different atmosphere between the two of you.

That was also unspoken. You'd mentioned it once to Natasha, explained to her that somehow, just being in the same room as him managed to calm that ever-looming anxiety you tended to feel, and when you'd meet his eyes across the distance, you always knew exactly what he was trying to tell you without any words needing to be spoken, that for weeks after your childhood pet passed away when you were 15, Bucky held your hand every single day because your anxiety had spiked and he had noticed the constant shake to them. That became a hard habit to lose.

Her response was 'the look', almost deadpan, wordlessly saying to you 'I know you're not a fucking idiot, c'mon now'.

You had blushed and changed the subject.

Of course there were times you might've looked at him a bit differently, you met at a fairly young age, and it was after meeting him that your interest in boys grew.

Watching the scrawny boy you'd known since you were 13 get his braces off and grow a sudden foot taller was a lot for your growing heart to handle, and then that Brooklyn-boy charm came in and girls were falling at his feet, not one of them knowing or caring about who he was, just hypnotised by those light blue eyes. You always hoped he was too distracted by those girls to notice how desperately hard you tried not to fall under his spell too.

So yeah sure, there may have been a time during your mid-to-late teens and possibly your early twenties that you might have liked him in a' more than a friend' way.

But that didn't mean anything had to come of it.

However, there's a certain red-headed Russian woman in your life that, for some reason, refuses to let you hide in your dark pit of misery and denial.

You shouldn't have even mentioned it. the one time you willingly brought up the topic of James Barnes with the all-knowing Natasha and she had immediately fed your delusions.

"I'm not saying he was jealous at all, Nat, I'm just saying... he looked kind of upset."

"What kind of upset? Did he look sad? Angry? Were his eyebrows all furrowed? ooh, did his fists clench? I bet his fists clenched. The jaw definitely clenched. He's a jaw clencher for sure-"

"Nat, Stop! He just..." You groaned, throwing your head back dramatically as you leaned against her kitchen counter, "He just seemed off."

"Okay, but did his jaw-"

"Yes! Now can we stop talking about it."

She stopped what she was doing to stare at you, her eyebrows raised, "You do realise you're the one that brought it up right?"

You sighed and pressed your palm to your forehead, before dragging it down your face, and Natasha tutted, wrapping her arms around you in a tight squeeze.

"You're stressing yourself out too much about all this, babe. Why don't you just ask him how he feels."

You pulled back from the comforting embrace quickly, but still stayed in her arms, "Fuck that. No. No way. Then he'd know, he'd know why I asked, or he'd at least ask me why I asked and then I'd either have to run away or lie to him and I've never been able to-"

"Okay, breathe angel. Stop this, you can't do this forever, honey. I know you're scared of losing him but this is what could break your friendship if you let it, half the time you're avoiding him because you are so scared of him knowing how you feel." Said Natasha, before she pulled away to continue with her cooking.

"What do you mean how I feel?" You asked, feeling your cheeks grow hot when she sighed and shook her head, not even looking your way.

"Nope, no, not even gonna get started on that one. You know exactly what I'm talking about."

You opened your mouth to argue but she only gave you another look, and your mouth snapped closed.

It was silent for a moment and you leant your elbows on the counter, holding your face in your hands as you watched her expertly sprinkle different spices into her food, but you knew not to get too comfortable in her silence, Natasha was scheming, and that was definitely something to be frightened of.

You practically jumped out of your skin when she finally broke the silence, "I have an idea, but I need you to have an open mind and actually listen for once, okay?"

You hesitated, struggling to hold the intense eye-contact she was currently giving you. A part of you was ready to say no, tell her to leave it be and let you wither in a pit of sadness, but the rest of you leaned in to her words, wanting, no, needing something to happen, anything after years of this constant stalemate, this strange game of cat and mouse between yourself and your best friend. You were constantly holding your breath around Bucky, waiting for something inevitable to happen. What that would be? You had no idea, but you couldn't do it anymore.

"...go on." You finally said, having made up your mind without realising. Natasha almost seemed surprised, but you weren't sure that was even possible. She nodded and gave you a smile.

"You wanna know if he was jealous? Give him a reason to be and then figure out if he is, that way, you'll have more of an idea of how he's feeling, and when it comes to talking to him about your feelings, you might actually do it this time. Plus, you might get some info on how to get him even more interested."

You thought over her words, still confused as to what her grand plan was, "And how might I do that exactly?"

"Say you've got a date, ask him for advice, play with him a little bit. Works every time, trust me."

She said it like it was no big deal, and you were stuck on the way her smirk widened when she said 'play with him a little bit'.

"I just told you I can't lie to him." You replied.

Natasha simply raised her eyebrow at you, "As if you haven't been lying to him since you were 15."

"Hey, that's not lying, it's just... concealing certain parts of the truth."

She tilted her head in your direction but you ignored her, turning away completely and crossing your arms over your chest with a huff.

"Don't lie then, tell him that your interested in some guy and play it off like your asking for advice. He doesn't have to know that he is said guy and its all a secret ploy to make his jaw clench again."

"Nat." You groaned.

"What?"

"Why would I ask him for advice though? He knows I'd go to you."

Nat sighed this time, frustrated with your excuses, "Tell him you wanted advice from a guy."

"But Steve-"

"Just do it! If he's actually jealous he'll be more focused on the fact that your trying to get into pants that aren't his." She raised her voice, dropping her wooden spoon into the simmering pot to turn to you, that Russian accent peaking through her words.

"Nat, I'm telling you now, he isn't jealous."

She almost started to argue, but then she spotted that dejected look in your eye and stopped herself, taking a deep breath to calm her frustrations and think of a good response, "Are you saying that because you believe it? Or because you want him to be jealous so bad you wish he wasn't, because you're terrified of losing him."

You went silent, staring down at the floor when you realised you had no response for her.

"Thought so." She said before shuffling closer, pulling you in for a hug, "Look babe, you need to stop worrying about what could happen, and just focus on what is happening right now. If you're not ready to tell him how you feel, you don't have to. Trying this won't hurt, and it won't hurt your friendship, okay? Go one step at a time, you're getting too ahead of yourself."

You thought about it for a while as you enjoyed the hug, before you pulled back and nodded, thanking her for the advice and apologising for being difficult, she only chuckled and began to dish up the food.

"No worries honey, I'm used to it."

It's not like you had ever said you'd actually do it, and you never exactly planned to. But Natasha's plan had started to loom over every interaction you had with Bucky, so much so that without realising you had started to avoid him, and that only made you feel worse.

It took a sleepless night of tossing and turning and missing your best friend like crazy when you finally made the decision. You can't do this forever, why not just say fuck it for once.

It started when Bucky had invited you to his place for a movie night, like he did every weekend, like he had the past two weekends where you had declined, but this time you said yes, and decided that this would be the night you tried to make him jealous.

You weren't proud of it, and a part of you felt incredibly guilty as you stood at his door and knocked. No matter how many times Natasha told you this was harmless, you still couldn't believe her.

"Are we knocking now? What happened to 'your place is my place'?" Bucky asked as he opened the front door to let you in, barely moving aside so your arm brushed against his when you walked past him.

"Ha ha. Just didn't know if it was locked or not." You punched his shoulder and he scrunched up his face in mock offense.

"Sure. Go sit down and pick a movie, I'm just getting some snacks ready." Bucky said, nodding to the couch before he turned and walked into the kitchen, black sweatpants so low on his hips you could just about see the waistband of his boxers, wearing a black t-shirt with his hair pulled back into the low bun you'd helped him learn how to do.

You nodded slowly, watching him walk away for a few seconds before rolling your eyes at your own idiotic behaviour and slumping down across Bucky's couch, the remote in your hand as you lazily flicked through Netflix.

"Any particular genre?" You shouted out to Bucky, who came out from the other room to shrug his shoulders at you.

"Like I said, doll, whatever you'd like. Only fair after I made you come with me to see that god-awful movie Pheobe forced me to watch."

You snorted a laugh, frowning when he walked away again, your mind wandering to the last time you went to the movies with Bucky, over a month ago now, when he had forced you to third-wheel his second date with 'Pheobe' for no apparent reason.

It was almost humiliating the way she had pulled you aside in the bathroom.

-

"I seriously don't mean to be rude but... why are you here?" Pheobe whispered, despite the fact that every stall was empty and Bucky was stood outside the building, but your face grew heated as the woman across from you voiced the exact question you'd been asking yourself all night, "Like, at first I thought you were a lesbian, but after that story you told earlier I'm assuming you're not, which is fine, but why are you here? I told Bucky this was a date. Does he really not like me at all?"

You were stumped, opening and closing your mouth like a blank-minded fish, searching for the answer that you didn't have, only coming up empty, "Honestly Phoebe, I have no idea. I'm sure he does like you, maybe he just wanted me to come to..."

"Maybe he just wanted to go on a date with you."

"What?!"

"You heard me. I think I'm the third-wheel here." Her voice went quiet, and you instantly felt bad.

"No, Pheobe. That's absurd, he's my best friend."

"You might want to re-think that."

--

"What did you pick?" Bucky asked, placing the bowl of popcorn in-between you as he sat down and you smiled at him, pushing away the memory.

"Twilight." You replied, sinking back into your seat as you grabbed and handful of popcorn and shovelled it into your mouth.

Bucky nodded as his eyes focused on the screen, his jawline prominent as he chewed, licking his lips of the salty flavouring, a light stubble on his jaw from not shaving in a few days-

"You good?"

You gulped loudly, taking a breath as you met his eyes, embarrassed that you'd been caught staring, "Yup." You said, nodding as you turned to look at the screen again, ignoring his amused chuckle.

Your mind wandered to the conversation you'd had with Natasha only hours ago.

'Don't overthink it, just bring it up when you get the chance, be casual about it'

No overthinking, casual. Easy. Maybe now would be a good time to bring it up, casually, without overthinking anything.

"Actually-" You started, clearing your throat when it immediately closed up and your fight or flight was begging to kick in, your mind instantly wondering to all of the negative repercussions this could-

You were definitely overthinking right now.

"Yes?" Bucky asked, still half watching the movie before he fully turned to face you, sensing that this sounded fairly serious.

Definitely not casual either.

"I wanted to uh, talk to you about something." The temptation to smack yourself on the forehead was growing unbearably stronger by the second, but you imagined that would probably raise some concern. Your hands twitched by your sides instead.

"What is it?"

"Well, it's kind of- I basically, well." You tried to awkwardly laugh it off, but sighed instead, just fucking say it, fucking lie to your best friend to find out if he's jealous, "There's this guy."

His eyebrows raised, lips parting, before he quickly snapped his mouth shut and furrowed his eyebrows, taking on a sort of clinical expression as he nodded, motioning for you to continue.

"He's uh... I really- like... him, and... he's..." You took a breath, too many pauses, "different, you know?"

He scrunched his face up, "Different? What does that even mean."

"I don't know I just-" You covered your face with your hands, regretting every decision that had led you to this point. "I really want him to like me."

It was quiet for a moment, and you wanted to peak at him, but couldn't.

Bucky sighed, hands gently taking hold of your wrists to pull your hands away from your face, "Look sweetheart, if he's really a smart guy, he'll already like you. Any person would be lucky to have you, you don't need to change for anyone."

You rolled your eyes at him but smiled nonetheless, "I know Buck, thank you. I just..."  

Don't overthink it.

"I was wondering if maybe, you might give me some advice? I'm seeing him on Monday and I guess I just want to make him want me, you know?"

He paused, still holding onto your wrists, "Want you?"

"Yeah, you know like- I wanna know what guys really like. I want to make sure he'll never forget me. That sort of thing."

"Sweets, I don't know if you should be asking me that. Why don't you just talk to Natasha if it's that important." He said, letting go of your wrists and pulling away.

"Because I want to hear it from a guy, and Steve's far too awkward for this conversation. C'mon Buck, please. I want you to teach me."

"You want me to teach you?" He asked, more than slightly breathless, and you quickly realised that this sounded much less like getting advice for a guy you like and more trying to get info on what Bucky liked sex-wise.

You did not plan for it to go down that route, and you wondered if you should pull it back, change the subject and try this again another time, without getting too explicit, but the way Bucky had almost whispered those words, was driving you insane. You wanted this to go further. "Yeah, I want to give this guy the night of his life."

He clenched his jaw, and tried not to laugh at the situation, almost tempted to text Natasha at that very moment and break the news. 'Jaw has clenched, I repeat, the jaw has clenched'. You managed to keep that temptation under control, still finding the situation slightly humorous before you actually realised what this meant.

Holy fuck, he's jealous.

You knew now was as good a time as any to push further, and with your new-found realisation, came a new-found confidence, the nerves pushed to the back of your mind, the only thing left of them being the fluttering in your chest.

"What do you think I should wear?" You held back a smirk when he leaned forward in his seat, elbows rested on his knees as he dropped his face into his hands. You kept pushing, "Remember that green dress I wore to your birthday last year? Do you think I should wear that one? You'd think he'd like that? Would you like it if it were you?"

"What do you mean if it were me?"

You froze, your cheeks heating up, that heat spreading to your neck as you quickly tried to save yourself whilst keeping this strange relaxed smoothness to your voice. "If you went on a date with Pheobe, and she wore that dress, would you like it?" You asked, before deciding to push it even further. Natasha's voice echoed in your mind 'play with him a little', "Would you think about taking it off her?"

He didn't even hesitate to reply, turning his head to look at you as he continued to sit forward, an almost angered air to his words, "It wouldn't suit her."

"You don't like it? But I thought-"

"Yes, I liked the dress, you looked fucking gorgeous in it. It just would suit her." He urged, the words coming out in one breath, his voice straining over the final word as if it was physically uncomfortable to say, like he held a certain distaste for the word. Her.

You could sense the atmosphere in the room changing, warping with the darker, heavy feeling that radiated off the man you were teasing without him even realising it, and although you knew you should probably stop, that you were getting on his nerves and for some reason this seemed to be a touchy subject, that nagging, red-headed voice was seeping into your thoughts again, telling you to go further, so you continued to push.

"Would he like it do you think?" You asked, tilting your head, keeping that sickly sweet innocent look on your face, he sighed and closed his eyes, his tongue wetting his lips again, teeth biting at the soft skin.

"If he had half a brain he'd fucking love it." He breathed, eyebrows furrowing along the words 'fucking love it' and you knew exactly what he was thinking of, the picture he had in his head.

Your smile faded, watching the way he opened his eyes but kept them trained to his feet. That heat grew in your chest, that weight, that feeling, weaving its way around your heart and seeping into your bloodstream, it carried through your veins, and suddenly you had never felt closer to your teenage self than you did now, like she had pushed the older you aside and taken her place, because she knew this feeling, she was the only version of you to ever fully accept and admit it for what it was, that the reason she blushed so much when her best friend asked her to prom because he'd rather go with you than some random girl he didn't care about, was because you loved him, and of course you still do now, of course you do.

You thought of what Pheobe said that night, you thought of what Natasha was constantly telling you, or that time Steve accidentally slipped that Bucky had a crush on you when you were younger, and you looked at him now, quickly realising that it was never them who warped your idea of Bucky's feelings, it was you.

The feeling had encapsulated your entire being now, the realisation of yours and his feelings and you decided that you had both waited far too long if this is what you wanted.

And you wanted him.

So you continued to play, speaking with a much more serious air this time, you didn't smirk, you just watched him as you spoke.

"I guess that's settled then, I just need to know what to wear under it." You practically whispered it, the warm apartment feeling sweltering now.

"Fuck." He whispered to himself, dropping his head in his hands again, "What are you doing?"

He looked at you from his bent position, almost looking desperate. No, he did look desperate, and you hated and loved it at the same time, for two very different reasons, you understood exactly what he was feeling, having been a victim to his teasing one too many times.

You parted your lips to talk, thinking for a second that you might actually be upsetting him, but then his eyes dropped to watch the movement, staring at your lips as he released a breath.

"I'm asking you for advice, Buck." You said quietly, eyes darkening as you leaned closer, your nose almost touching his and his eyes dropped again, entranced by your lips, "What about kissing?"

His lips parted, eyes darting up to meet yours, but he made no move to go back, in fact, you realised with a feather-light touch of his nose to yours, that he had inched closer to you, "What?"

His eyes were soft as he waited for you to speak, no apprehension to be seen.

"I need to know how to kiss him, how guys like it, you know?" He moved back an inch, that not so subtle disappointment in his eyes, "How do you like to be kissed, Buck?"

He shook his head in a barely there movement, eyes still not leaving yours, swallowing roughly when he caught you looking at his lips.

You moved closer to him, filling that inch that he had put between you, your heart thumping faster in your chest when he did the same, like he was magnetised, he looked at your lips again and you decided to take the chance.

"Like this?" You asked, before filling the gap completely and your pressed your lips to his, kissing him soft and slow, your stomach fluttering when he didn't hesitate to reciprocate, kissing you back the exact way you were guiding him to, but you pulled back before letting it continue for long, his breath fanning out across your lips, you gaze fluttered to his eyes for a moment, "Or like this?"

You kissed him again, this time harder, more urgency in it, your right hand lifting to his shoulder before you slid it to the nape of his neck, a sudden desperate need for his lips on every inch of your skin overcoming your thoughts when his arms wrapped around your waist.

You pulled away again and he tried desperately hard to follow you, eyes opening to voice his frustration when you wouldn't let him.

But you brushed your thumb across his bottom lip, silencing him, "Or maybe like this."

This, this was definitely the one.

You kissed him soft and slow, but this time parted your lips to brush your tongue across his, relishing in the noise that escaped him when you did so, and the way he then did the same to you, parting his lips in a way that breathed hot air into the kiss.

You were so enraptured with the taste of him that you barely even noticed when he pulled you onto his lap, your knees digging into the couch on either side of him. You only realised when his thighs between yours had suddenly stopped your ability to squeeze your thighs together in hopes of relieving that throbbing ache that had formed between them.

This kiss continued much longer than you had planned it to, forgetting what you were going to do next, but you didn't mind much, too caught up in the way his lips were so stupidly soft and his tongue was hot and wet, and his hands were huge and grasping at your clothes with a desperation so similar to the way you pulled his hair.

You pulled away again, much to his dismay as he practically growled and rolled his eyes in frustration. He rested his head back against the couch and licked his kiss swollen lips.

You needed more, barely letting yourself think about the fact that you had just kissed Bucky, The Bucky, Your Bucky.

"What about this, Buck? You like it when a girl does this?" You asked and he frowned, looking up at you in almost annoyed confusion, opening his mouth to speak but then you moved forward on his lap, sitting in a way that your core was pressed against his, his cock twitching in his sweatpants when you rolled those hips of yours, the annoyance and confusion faded and he reached for your hips, eyes fluttering shut when you made the movement again, biting your lip when it stimulated your clit, "Do you think you could come from this, Bucky? Or would you need more? Would you want my hand, or my mouth? Or would you just be begging to fuck me at this point."

He groaned at practically every question, his hands holding your hips as you grinded yourself on him, his cock now achingly hard as his hips started to lift slightly.

"Fuck, sweetheart, what is this? Why are you doing this?" He asked, his voice urgent and needy as he forced himself to stay still under you, gripping your hips tighter to signal for you to stop your movements, much to either of your dismay, "Please tell me this isn't all for some fuckin' guy."

You froze, confused for a second, before realising he still had no idea, and that guilt you had shoved away creeped back in.

Your heart was in your throat as you finally told him the truth, "It is, but he's you Buck. It was always you, it's always been you."

His lips parted, eyes widening slightly at what you had just confessed to him, "I'm the guy you were asking me advice about?"

"Well yeah, who else am I gonna get better advice about what you like from? Better to hear it from the horses mouth, eh?" You smiled sheepishly, shrugging your shoulders as you watched him huff a laugh with a shake of his head.

"Natasha, right?" He asked, raising an eyebrow but you didn't respond, probably looking very guilty of his accusation, "Well, I guess I should tell you that we may have been two-timed by her. She actually gave me the very same advice a few months ago, I just never had the guts to take it as far as you did."

"You talk to Nat about me?" You teased, but he only smiled gently, soft eyes watching you.

"Of course I do, how could I not tell her all about the girl I've been in love with since I was 15." He confessed quietly, blush reddening his cheeks, "God, she must be sick of me talking about you."

You laughed quietly, trying not to settle into the disbelief of it all and instead focus on your excitement, that teenage girl inside of you was screaming with glee and kicking her feet. You didn't let realisation that James Barnes just confessed he'd loved you the whole time you'd loved him be tainted with regret about wasted time.

"She must be sick of us both, I've been doing the same thing ever since I met her."

He smiled at you and you smiled back, pressed your forehead against his.

"What do we do now?" You asked, still very much feeling the physical after-effects of your intense make-out session.

Bucky huffed a laugh, "I'd love to say go to the bedroom, but not yet, I think we should work up to that."

You nodded and smiled, understanding what he meant and feeling thankful he was able to voice it for you, "Agreed."

"We could do this for a while longer though, still got four and a half twilight movies left to go." Bucky joked, his fingers finding their way under your shirt to brush against soft skin.

"Hm, sounds like an excuse to make out with your best friend all night."

"Maybe it is." He whispered back before he kissed you again, using his hand on your back to press you against him.

It felt so natural to the both of you, your bodies fitting together perfectly, no awkwardness or anxiety. You knew you'd both need to talk properly soon, but that could wait a few movies more, for now you could settle with kissing him until you ran out of air.

[e-lisard]

I saw a post last night about how sometimes the curtains are blue just because the author likes blue, and the person who wrote it made a lot of very good points, among others how schools make you bullshit about some perceived symbolism in stories, but it also made me think.

Because yeah if you're writing not everything you put in is For The Symbolism, but also there's a lot of symbolism you can put in without noticing, and just because you put it in subconsciously doesn't mean it isn't symbolism.

As an example, we'll take one of my characters. Because as I was typing this, I suddenly realized something. She is a half demon and has two colour schemes; one for when she's in her human form, and one for when she's in her demon form.

Both of these colour schemes I picked because I liked them.

In her human form, her aesthetic is very black and red. Again, I chose this because I think it slaps.

In her demon form, her aesthetic is white and gold.

Now, what does this matter, you might ask. It matters like this: black and red are colours easily associated with villains (or 'villains'). White and gold on the other hand tend to be seen as pure and good.

The thing with my character is, that she sees herself as much worse than she actually is. And then you look at her aesthetic and...

As a human, the form in which she has complete control over the way she looks, she chooses to put herself in black and red, colours that, like I said, can easily be associated with villains.

As a demon, the form which she has minimal control over, at the very least minimal control over the colours, she has white and gold.

Which, if I were analyzing someone else's work without knowing this was accidental symbolism, I would've said was a perfect representation of how she is, at the core, not anywhere near the villain she sees herself as, but much more innocent and pure.

So do you see what I mean? Just because I didn't intend it to be symbolism doesn't mean it isn't.

Yeah, often the curtains are just blue because the author likes blue. But our monkey brain likes patterns. And so we sometimes subconsciously put those patterns into our stories.

[media-illiterate]

PSYKER HEADCANONS: FREE TO A GOOD HOME!

I wrote these out a while ago for my own use, and never posted them. But, as some people expressed interest, HERE THEY ARE! I'm gonna put them below a read more, because there's a lot of them. I have more on other psychic weirdness that I might post if people are interested in these.

(A reminder: Psykers are canon. There were psykers in fallout 1.)

Psykers - who often refer to themselves as Gifted - are individuals with strange powers and abilities – gifts* – that defy rational scientific explanation. Although they existed in small numbers before the war, psykers have become much more common since the bombs fell.

Psykers are fairly rare. Generally there's only a handful of psykers in any given geographic area, and they tend to stay on the move for their own safety. Many hide their nature for fear of being captured for study by high-tech groups such as the BOS or the Institute. 

Gifts broadly fall into two categories: Projective and Receptive. Projective gifts include things that have external effects, like telekinesis, telepathy, pyrokinesis, etcetera. Receptive gifts are more internal, like precognition, psi-empathy, etc. Some gifts, like dream-walking and bio-pk, straddle the line.

Psykers typically have a mix of projective and receptive gifts, but usually with a stronger affinity for one than the other. Really powerful projectives tend to have minor receptive gifts, and visa-versa. Being a psyker does come with free ESP, though.

Most psykers acknowledge that the sources and natures of their gifts are extremely varied: prenatal exposure to FEV and/or radiation, extended parental contact with psi-phenomena, genetics, and simple random mutation are all common explanations of a psyker’s origin.

Many psyker’s gifts are latent/dormant, and the individual doesn’t consciously experience anything unusual. Latent gifts can awaken any number of ways, with physical or mental trauma and exposure to psychic phenomena being common triggers. For some, it seems truly random.

Overusing a gift causes “Burnout”. Symptoms vary widely; sudden change in blood pressure,  heart rate, and body temperature are common, with purely neurological symptoms being rare but not unknown. Burnout can be deadly if a gift is pushed too far, especially for very strong psykers.

Receptive psykers are notably more common than projective psykers. Pykers with powerful projective gifts are rarer, and tend to be significantly more vulnerable to fatal burnout, but are not so rare as to be surprising. (I.E. How many serious athletes do you know?)

Receptive psykers are also more prone to advertise their gift (usually in return for caps) due to their intangible and thus easily dismissable nature. Projective types tend to be quiet about their Gifts for their own peace and safety, though some revel in the fear and awe they invoke.

Psykers tend to have really intense eyes, regardless of color. A psyker making eye contact tends to feel noticeably more… direct than normal. Especially if said psyker has psi-empathy or telepathy, in which case it can feel downright intrusive, like they’re inside your head.

Non-psykers can usually sense the use of a psyker’s gift indirectly. Someone standing near a telekinetic might feel their hair stand on end, while someone near a precognitive might feel watched. Regardless, strong gifts create a strong sensation of power and tension when in use. 

Psykers stand out to other psykers. When they get close enough they can just feel them on the edge of their perception: more there than everyone else, almost like they’re backlit. Distance varies with sensitivity, but two psykers would usually sense one other across a crowded street.

Psykers have an aura, influenced by their powers and personalities, visible to other psykers when they use their abilities, as well as in dreams. Psykers can also literally sense what other psykers are doing with their powers, especially projective gifts.

Extended contact (physical or mental) with a Psyker (especially one with poor control) or any class of psychic presence can result in… weirdness. This effect is typically non-physical, involving things like accidental dreamwalking and development of low-level esp. Often called “Uncanny” by true psykers, these individuals occupy a strange place between the mundane and the preternatural.

There are only two instances of Psyker powers being successfully suppressed, neither of which has proven replicable: Jack Cabot’s Abramelin-Field and the Master’s Psychic Nullifier. These methods were either developed by a psyker (the Master) or by an individual directly influenced by one (Cabot).

Only one Nullifier still exists, currently in possession of a psyker known as “the Forecaster” in the Mojave wasteland. Its development was possible only due to the Master’s inhuman intellect and innate Gifts; all attempts by the Vault dweller to even comprehend the mechanisms underlying the device’s operation ultimately failed, and the Brotherhood couldn’t find empirical evidence that it did anything at all.

Jack Cabot’s Abramelin-Field is only applicable to one entity: his father Lorenzo Cabot… or the entity inhabiting his body, at least. Although the field causes distress in other psykers (feelings of being smothered/blinded) it doesn’t stop them from using their powers. Jack’s studies have suggested it only suppresses his father’s connection to the crown rather than impacting its powers directly.

[i-can-read-to-him]

The Wesper Fic Club's Author Spotlight is a post series that aims to feature two to three fic authors a month, randomly selected from a pool of names put forth on our server. The authors are then asked to answer three interview questions, select up to five of their fics for us to feature, and finally, recommend three fics by others in the fandom.

(Note: Our spotlighted fics are not limited to Wesper, though they tend to be a central pairing in most of our authors' featured works.)

This week, we are putting a spotlight on Lou's writing!

Socials: @waterloou (Tumblr) | hugharekillianmelou (AO3)

❀

Part One: Author Interview

Q: What do you consider your strengths as a writer?

A: I’m using these quotes from sparrow bc I’m gonna be honest and say I really don’t know how to perceive myself: “Off the top of my head, I would say you are very good at lyrical prose, imagery and atmosphere, thoughtful characterization, anddd I don’t know how to articulate this as cleanly, but like… the way you handle dark subject matter (like MCD) in a way that makes it feel... like something that should be dangerous to handle, but it is safely contained. Like one of those poisonous Victorian era books with the striking green colour [Scheele's Green] displayed in a glass case. Also, you maintain canon characterization even in AU settings, which is honestly a skill not everyone has. I love AUs, but some people lose sight of canon so quick and it ends up feeling very OOC.”

Q: What’s your favourite fic you’ve written for this fandom?

A: It’s called Lay Me Gently in the Cold Dark Earth and it’s from Wylan’s perspective when he’s 6 feet under and how he interacts with the earth around him and Jesper. Idk how else to describe it. 

Q: What advice do you have for those facing writer’s block?

A: My only suggestion is just to switch to notebooks and use prompt lists. I struggle with writers block far too much it’s hard for me to sit down and write something most of the time. 

Q: When did you first start writing? What keeps you going today?

A: Jonas Brothers YouTube imagines. I had a little flip notebook on a family vacation and lots of time to kill so I wrote my own imagines/fanfiction. It was also like not a self insert but like I’d insert someone age appropriate and live vicariously through them.  I have so so many ideas and only I can execute them correctly so obviously I need to keep writing. It’s a tough job but if I want the content I need to make it 

Q: Who is your favourite character? What do you love about them?

A: JESPER LLEWELLYN FAHEY!!!! He’s just so complex and loving and I also relate to him most bc of his sadness and feelings of inadequacy and using humor as a cover up. I saw the trailers before I read the books and then I read the books before I watched the show but that one clip of Jesper in those first trailers had me hooked ever since.

Q: If you could travel anywhere in the Grishaverse, where would you go?

A: Shu Han because it looks like I’d have the most fun there. 

Q: If you could be friends with any character in the Grishaverse, who would it be?

A: Tolya!!! He’s got a lovely disposition and it’s nice to have someone with similar interests.

Q: Have you had a chance to interact with the SAB cast? Tell us about your experience(s).

A: The only interaction I’ve had is Jack liking my drawing of him. Honestly tho even tho this cast is amazing I think I’d be fine never meeting any of them. There’s already all my questions answered and I’d probably make a fool out of myself if I met them. 

Q: What are some recurring themes you’ve noticed in your writing?

A: I am using more sparrow quotes bc my only answer was “Hozier coded” and idk if that answer was enough: “I think grief/death/mourning is definitely something that comes up a lot. Related to that... I want to say 'transcendent love,' if that makes sense. Definitely also strong platonic bonds, so friendship... Oh, balance and opposites (how the latter interacts and achieves balance)... sometimes with concepts like life and death, but also with people like Wylan and Jesper.” Ty sparrow ur iconic 

Q: What kind of music do you like to listen to while writing?

A: Hozier, lots of like folk or floaty type of genres. 

Q: Are there any songs you strongly associate with a favourite character or ship?

A: "half return" by Adrianne Lenker could be associated with either Wylan or Jesper and their childhoods. I do think it’s odd that this is the first fandom where music is not the driving force of my writing or associating with characters.

Q: What is one of your favourite scenes from the source material (book or show)?

A: Jesper’s introduction in the show is a classic and he’s just SO COOL.

Q: If could change anything about (book or show) canon, what would it be?

A: 😭 besides it being cancelled? Matthias’ fate. 

Q: What are some headcanons you have that you consider your personal canon?

A: MODERN AU: Jesper is an engineering major. Wylan is a chemistry major (hates it), switches to biology and music double major. Jesper makes and sells jewelry on the side.  REGULAR SETTING: Jesper lives for a long long time and Wylan reincarnates many times and they are together until they both pass. 

Q: Tell us about something in your fics that you’re proud of and wish would get more notice.

A: I do like the poetic flow they have from time to time! It’s nice reading something I wrote and being invested. This is a cop out answer but I think they’ve been appreciated an adequate amount! Everyone is so sweet reading and commenting!

Q: What’s something you haven’t written yet, but want to write in the future?

A: OH BOY I have a list: - This is written but mouse wylan  - sci fi au  - Hozier song wesper series  - human meat business crows serial killers  - Hellraiser au wesper  - whump wesper jesper shot  - Halloween series  - vampire crows au 

Q: What’s something you wish you could write, but don’t think you ever will?

A: Most of the ideas listed above. My brain just doesn’t want to write the ideas. Also Smut. Did it once idk if I could write it again

Q: How do you feel about your fics being translated into other languages?

A: Go ham. As long as it’s credited to me idc

Q: Apart from sight, what is your favourite of the senses to describe when writing?

A: Touch I love touch descriptions because you can get an insight into how the characters experience the world.

❀

Part Two: Selected Works

Two corpses we were, two corpses I saw

Not Rated | 275 words | Wesper Hozier coded, Decay, Burial, Happy Ending

Short diddy about knight/pianist wesper

Golden slumbers

Teen | 460 words | Wesper Grief/Mourning, Pre-Grief, Aging, Jesper-centric

Jesper would always be a mourner

Lay me gently in the cold dark earth

Not Rated | 388 words | Wesper Hozier coded, POV Wylan, Character Death, Happy Ending

Wylan needs Jesper, even after life

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Part Three: Author's Recs

without pity by demigodbeautiies

Mature | 21.9K | Wesper Non-Con Drug Use, Whump, Mild Gore, Angst with a Happy Ending

It’s 10 am on a Wednesday when Wylan Van Eck’s life crumbles around him. Which feels ridiculous, honestly, but that’s life, isn’t it?  - Jesper gets drugged with jurda parem. Wylan tries his best to deal with it. That, apparently, is hard to do when his life is falling apart.

A Lack Of Air Supply by Milkfrog

Mature | 106.7K | Wesper Past Child Abuse, Agoraphobia, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Wylan Van Eck

"Wylan Van Eck, until the age of 8, felt like royalty. Like the world was made for him, and him alone. He could do anything he wanted to. He could dream of a future so expansive he'd have to live multiple lives in order to fit everything he wanted to do. But Wylan Van Eck, at 22 years old, cannot even leave his apartment." (aka. Wylan has agoraphobia n Jesper moves into the apartment next to him <3)

only love can hurt like this by leehab23

Explicit | 82.2K | Wesper, Kanej Jesper-centric, Second Chance Romance, Pining, Angst, Happy Ending

“I need a drink,” Kaz said. With that, Jesper could agree. “Lead the way.” Kaz took one step and froze, swearing under his breath. Jesper followed his eyeline, his blood turning to ice when he saw what—or rather who—Kaz had noticed across the room. OR: After running away three years ago to Novyi Zem, Jesper finds himself back in Ketterdam. He agrees to pose as Kaz’s date for a job and has an unfortunate run-in with a certain red-headed ex.

Before Sunrise by @aphroditestummyrolls

General | 2.1K | Colm & Jesper, Colm/Aditi Good Parent Colm Fahey, Colm-centric, Baby Jesper

He’d like to say he expected it— it’s a well known fact that babies cry. The first months of parenthood are a tiring business. That was what everyone said, and the ones who didn’t say it were certainly thinking it. But, not all babies cried like Jesper Fahey cried. Just like every night for the past 2 and a half months, the second Addy stopped her gentle rocking and pacing, it started up again— first, as disgruntled fussing, huffing and puffing like a grumpy little bear cub. His downy fluff of curls pressed against his mama’s palm as he scrubbed his nose into her collarbone, tiny fist clenching in her night dress. Colm sighed. OR Jesper is a colicky little baby, and Colm just wants his poor wife to be able to sleep.

❀

Please support our authors by commenting and leaving kudos on any stories of theirs you read and enjoy! Don't forget to also reblog this post and check back soon for our next author spotlight to come.

Interested in joining our server and getting to know our community? Feel free to request an invite via the @i-can-read-to-him ask box.

[lightlycareless]

Wait I'm curious if naoya has a scar from y/n (yk from that night) cuz if he has one I'd would be really funny (and sad a little) after they make out to be asked how did he got that scar on his face 😭😭😭

Heya anon!

I almost forgot about that hahahahahah but anyways, I decided to write a little something of how I think it would go down because why the hell not.

Now, forgive me if this is not that proofread, it was just a quick something I wanted to share after all the angst :> specially after the last chapter I posted :))))))

I hope you enjoy this small thing I wrote 🥺 nnnnghhhhhhhhhhh I love me some fluff. (also, this is in reference to something that happened right over here. That is very, VERY nsfw so proceed with caution)

Naoya and you were cuddling together after a long, hard day of work. He’d just gotten back home from missions, tired of being away from home and overall dealing with people who he didn’t even like—while you from overseeing most, if not all, tasks around the estate—with him absent most of the time, you were also left to tend to his own duties, which were just overwhelming as yours.

So, it’s safe to say both were exhausted, missed one another very, very much, and wanted nothing more than to bask in each other’s warmth.

However, as much as both wished to relax, it would have to take setback when a peculiar sight catches your interest. It’s subtle, almost unnoticeable, the thin streak of discolored skin splayed across his cheek, but to your observants, worrisome eyes it’s all too obvious.

“Did you always have this scar?” you ask, raising your hand to his face and gently pressing your thumbs against it, admiring the contrast between surfaces. While his skin was naturally soft, his scar felt smoother, the aftermath of a rather deep injury…

“No” he responds, instinctively leaning into your touch. “But it’s been a while since I’ve had it.”

You frown, failing to remember when it happened, you think you would’ve noticed if Naoya ever came back home with a bandage or a nasty scar on his face, yet you can’t recall…

“A mission?” you ponder, and he shakes his head with a chuckle.

“No. Actually… I got it from you.” Naoya reveals, and then, your heart sinks, almost as if the thought of you hurting your husband was too big to comprehend.

Sure, you won’t deny that the beginning of this marriage was far from ideal, rocky beyond any questionable doubt… but even then, you never imagined yourself capable of hurting someone, or at least… doing so without eventually discussing it.

How it managed to slip your mind was surprising, or how he never brought it up to conversation…

“When?” you eventually ask, Naoya sighs.

“The day before my exam—the grade one, the first one, remember?”

You frown, looking back on your memories, and then… there it is. That one awful night where you didn’t want anything but stay as far away as possible from your husband.

This was just one of many examples of how much this relationship has changed, for when you once cowered in fear in his presence, retaliating whenever possible, however possible, now can’t imagine a day without him.

And certainly, wouldn’t dream of hurting him.

“Oh…” you murmur, guilt now weighing heavy in your mind. “I didn’t think it actually…”

“No, don’t think about it” he says upon noticing the turmoil in your eyes. “It was long ago and besides… I think I deserved it.”

You press your lips together.

“That doesn’t mean it was right.” you respond. “…even if we were different back then.”

He supposes that statement fits with a lot of things that happened in the early stages of this marriage—specifically the ones he did.

Even if they’ve moved past this difficult stage of their life, Naoya knows that he’ll never be able to make it up to you—no matter what he did, there’s always going to be something in the back of his mind telling him you’ll never truly forgive him.

That he’s not good enough, and that you’re better off with someone else.

But that wasn’t true. If you staying with him and showing concern for his injuries wasn’t proof enough that you’ve forgiven him… then perhaps you needed to remind him.

“Does it still hurt?” you ask.

“No, it never did, really— wasn’t that deep.” He adds with a chuckle. “Didn’t know you had it in you though.”

You pout and this just makes him laugh even more, fluster you even more… before going completely quiet.

No words, no gestures, just both gently looking at each other’s eyes and enjoying the presence of the other, as if nothing outside that room mattered.

After a few seconds, you decide to lean forward, pressing your lips against his cheek and kissing his scar.

Naoya’s heart warms at your gesture, and the consuming urge to embrace you tightly against him overcomes him.

“I’m sorry” you say, leaning deeper into his chest, you’re so close to him you could literally heart the alluring sound of his rapid heartbeat.

“Don’t be. It wasn’t your fault” he whispers, pressing a kiss on the top of your head. Even when he was the one hurt, Naoya still finds it in himself to comfort you… The thought alone makes you hug him tighter, heart quickening as you bask in his care. “Besides, it’s a nice scar—I can proudly say my wife did it to me after one particularly rough night…”

“Ah! How—what a pervert!” you gasp, pulling your face away from his chest and looking up to him.

“Am I not telling the truth?” he chuckles.

“I guess that’s one way to put it…” you huff, sighing before leaning back into him.

…

…

“Does it bother you?” Naoya inquiries upon hearing the gears in your head, you sigh once more.

“I won’t be able to stop seeing it now” you confess. “It’s all I’m going to think about when I see your face.”

“Well, if you must… there is a way you can make it up to me” Naoya says, and you swear you could hear him smile.

“Be serious!” you gasp upon catching his intentions, looking up to him “Can’t think of anything else, can you?!”

“Who said anything about that?!” He laughs back “I was talking about—this”

Naoya leans forward, pressing a kick peck on your lips.

“And this”

Another kiss.

“And this too”

One more.

“And that as well”

And another, and another, and another—too many for you to keep count, far too embarrassed to even do so.

“Stop it!” you’d whine when Naoya pressed your cheeks together, forcing a pout out of you. 

“You’re adorable—did you know that?” He chuckles, kissing your pout. “The cutest, most adorable wife ever”

“Is this your idea of making it up to you?! By embarrassing me?” you manage to mutter, tightly closing your eyes as he continues to kiss you. “Stop it! You’re making me all red!!”

“You make it too easy” he jests “And that, amongst other things, is what makes me love you so, so much.”

It’s unfair how he always managed to experience a wide range of emotions in less than a second—from being flustered by his customary and excessive display of affection, to completely enthralled by it, relishing in his love and how lucky you were to have found your soulmate.

It was rough. Almost impossible to find this side of Naoya, help him put down his walls and become vulnerable.

But now that it’s here, you’ll do everything in your power to protect him, to take care of him, love him. You never want him to suffer ever again.

This time, you’re the one leaning forward, doing your best to kiss him through the silly position he had you—and Naoya simply finds your attempts even more adorable.

He gives you one last kiss before cupping your face and making you look at him.

“While I’ll always regret the way I treated you in the beginning of this marriage… I’ll never regret meeting you” he says “With you I’ve learned what it is to be happy, to be cherished just by who I am and not what I represent. With you, I can completely be myself without fear of being humiliated…

With you…. I’ve learned what it is to love and be loved.

And I find it unfair that someone as amazing as you has to suffer for things we did in the past, back when we didn’t know each other, when we had the whole world against us.

So, I don’t want you to dwell in my scar, Y/N. It’s… nothing from a past we’ve long moved on from, you know? If anything, I should be the one carrying that burden… and I probably will, for the rest of my life.” He pauses, you press your lips together, holding back tears. “I want you to focus on our future, what lies ahead for the two of us. Because I, for once, can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Your heart skips a beat at his words, finding them to be nothing but the perfect representation of your relationship with him.

Naoya has given you so many things you’ve only dreamed of, considered unobtainable—like one of those situations where everyone around you was bound to experience them, except you.

Until he came along, and then, that’s when you realized how lonely you were, to the point where the mere thought of being without Naoya hurt too much to even consider.

In more ways than one, he made you whole, he introduced you to a world of completely different experiences. With him you smiled, and you laughed, but you also cried, felt what it was to be in an ocean of loneliness—and yet, you don’t resent him, because you’ve learned the most important lesson of them all: to forgive, and be forgiven.

It takes lots of effort to overcome such difficulties, but with love and patience, everything is possible.

And just as Naoya said, these are things of the past. He had long paid for his actions and redeemed himself, and there was no use in pondering on them if they’re going to sway you away from the future.

From the adversities and blessings, the two are to face together.

“I love you” you say back “And I also can’t wait to live out the rest of my life with you.”

Eternity seems too short of a time to be with him, but you wouldn’t want it any other way.

[bellaxgiornata]

hiiii

this might seem like a bit of a weird ask, but you seem super nice and i thought it would be okay if i asked you ! (also sorry if this is long)

i’ve been part of the daredevil fandom for a long time and i’ve been writing about dd for over a year and a half now. before i was writing for this fandom, i wrote fanfic about an entirely different genre for like 10+ years. when i was in the other fandom i wrote exclusively on wattpad, and i made a lot of online friends and was a part of writing communities and it made the experience so much better ! but since i changed directions (and started posting on ao3 first and wattpad second) i’ve had a hard time getting into the dd community.

i’m still new to using tumblr for fanfic so i haven’t posted anything of mine here/ followed many writers here (and i’m working on that !). but i was wondering if you had any advice on how to start chitchatting with other people in the fandom ? it feels super cringy for me to be like “i love your work, maybe you’d like mine !” bc i don’t want people to think i’m just trying to promote myself (i promise i’m not). but i miss being involved in online writing communities. it was one of my favorite things in the other fandom and now i’m struggling to find a place here. i try to respond to comments and have reached out to one or two writers before but it didn’t really go anywhere /:

so, tldr; do you have any advice on getting into the writing community/ making friends in the daredevil fandom ?

(and side note i love your work and have been reading your stuff almost as long as i’ve been writing— i’ve reread FFTD so many times and CANNOT WAIT for more updates on TDAYW and ATY !)

thank you !! sorry again this was so long

Hey friend!! This is actually a really great question that I'm sure you're not alone in wondering about! I definitely agree with you though, making friends in the fandom makes the experience so much more enjoyable. I used to write on FFN until I took a couple of years break from fanfic when I was in grad school. I had never made friends in fandom back then because I hadn't found communities and ways to accomplish that via FFN. Even when I came back to fic on AO3 and shortly after I started writing for Matt, I hadn't made friends right off the bat. But I always tried to respond to comments on my stories which is when I started to realize how fun the community was.

My answer is going to be long, so I'm going to put it below the cut! Also anyone else here reading this, if you have tips for making friends, please feel free to share them!!

Honestly tumblr I think is the way to go for making friendships. I have never used wattpad so I can't speak to the way it is set up, but AO3 doesn't quite allow for that too well because we can only communicate via comments. Tumblr gives so many more opportunities to meet lots of others and comment or send messages or share others' content with reblogs.

It's totally not necessary to share your stories on here, but I think that does help. Or to maybe even just promote your updates on your other platforms with links. Because it gives people an opportunity to come here and talk about your stories with you. But I think content creators, whatever you're making, probably make friends a little easier because we are providing something for others to (hopefully) interact with and consume.

As for reaching out to others, I cannot speak to how everyone would react because I know we all have different boundaries, but I think commenting/comment reblogging regularly on writer's or artist's work that you like is a good start. Or sending friendly messages or asks to someone. Just always be sure to be friendly and respectful.

I personally tend to notice the people I'm always seeing chatting in my notifications and then have made friends that way. It just seems like a natural progression if you're often talking to some people, conversations start to shift outside of just that content. Maybe to the show and then to other things. It's how I also tend to interact with others on here in order to make friends; commenting and sharing their work, sending asks or participating in their events, sending a message with something nice in it.

Though I agree, I think your initial comments to someone shouldn't be something about coming to read your work because it feels pressuring. I had a negative experience with that and didn't know how to handle that when I first got into the fandom and it made me uncomfortable because I never want to be rude or hurtful. So instead, maybe find ways to relate as a writer if you see them talking about writing in general, or other ways to make a comment that mentions that you also write. If they have time and want to read your work they will! And if not, that's okay too! I personally have a growing list of TBR and I mean nothing offensive if I can't get to someone's work, I just personally don't have as much time to read for example.

For me, I just sort of fell into making friends on here because of my writing. And I met so many other talented artists because of that and I've become "fans" of them as well and have had friendships form that way. And it's not just content creators, I've made friends with many wonderful people in the community who are reading my works too! It's fun to chat and dissect the show or to relate about other things (I'm a mom and have met other lovely moms here).

So my advice is to just keep reaching out and talking to people! Some conversations might lead somewhere and some might not. And that's okay! Everyone is different. I personally think the Daredevil fandom as a whole is absolutely amazing and full of wonderful and talented individuals who are more often than not open to making friends ❤️ I always am!

And like I said above, for anyone that has any other tips, please feel free to add them!

(And thank you so much!!! ❤️ I'm so glad you enjoy those stories!!)

[tranquilpetrichor]

the friendship problem

synopsis: in which you have company during morning break, and it is strangely tolerable.

cast: jiung (p1harmony) x gn!reader

genre: strangers to friends, high school!au

wc: 1.1k (1,117)

warnings: discussions of loneliness, reader is implied to show some symptoms of social anxiety, barely proofread

notes: looking back at my high school experience (and reflecting on my growth throughout school in general) thus far makes me oddly nostalgic. this one's definitely self-indulgent. here's to the people who didn't ask me why i was so quiet, who accepted my idiosyncrasies and admittedly, brought out a friendlier side in me.

(also peep that word count i wasn't gonna post this originally but i must, i count 1117 as a small ateez reference.)

erasing the inappropriate drawings from the side whiteboard, you began to write a problem from your calculus textbook.

“integral of w squared times sin of 10 w…” you said out loud to yourself.

you could have gone outside, as it was time for break, but you found your math teacher’s classroom to be more comforting. natural light gently shone through the windows, the air freshener emitted a scent of pine, and best of all, there were no crowds to be found.

you had tried to get over your discomfort around large crowds and navigate to the cafeteria to buy a snack, but found that it was quite the pain in the ass to squeeze between couples who walked as slow as tortoises and boys who elbowed people everywhere they went.

through those wonderful experiences, you learned that the epicenter of your high school’s social life overwhelmed you the hard way.

shaking intrusive thoughts from your mind, you began to visualize solutions to this calculus problem. after a minute or two of writing, you had the answer.

“let’s go!” you cheered, knowing no one else would hear it, but finding it funny nonetheless.

suddenly, you heard a voice and turned around to see a classmate you vaguely recognized from classes you shared. jiung, that was his name.

“don’t mind me,” he said, “just looking for a place to read.”

your shoulders tensed up a little, but you nodded, resuming your work on another problem.

normally, you would expect an noticeable and uncomfortable silence, but jiung seemed to be just as at peace with the quiet as you were. that was more than you could say for a lot of people, who felt as if they had to fill silence with words that seemed rather meaningless.

curiously, you glanced at him reading. the book was an alternate history fiction novel by haruki murakami, titled 1Q84. you've read it before, of course.

"uh, enjoying your book so far?" you asked him, cursing under your breath afterwards when you got the low battery notification on your laptop.

"well," he paused briefly, "murakami's descriptions tend to be long-winded and i find some of the scenes a bit odd, but it's interesting for me. have you read it before?"

"yeah, i have. i had fun trying to make sense of all the symbolism, but i admit that 1Q84 can be a tough read for some."

you tried not to show it, but your eyes sparkled with excitement.

"since you've read it, it'd be nice to talk to someone about the book once i'm done." he smiled. "wait, your name is y/n, right? i've seen you in some of my classes."

you set the whiteboard marker down. “yep. and i know your name is jiung.”

he stared at the board in front of him, now filled from the not-quite-top to the bottom with math problems. "you wrote a lot in such a short amount of time. do you find math easy?"

you shrugged. "let's just say it's relaxing for me."

he did ask an interesting question. to be fair, you hadn't always liked math as much as you did now, being a highly stubborn child who was averse to doing their homework back then.

however, a natural curiosity to learn new concepts coupled with a preference for being alone gave you the time to sit down and ponder random topics, developing a special love for math due to its basis in objectivity.

in general, your teachers loved the fact that you asked questions and stayed during morning breaks and after class sometimes—their classrooms felt like a second home.

so yeah, you discovered that you liked doing math, and it was better than being around people who deliberately excluded you, or trying to participate in conversations where you knew you wouldn't get a word in.

better to be alone than to feel lonely, right?

(yeah, just keep telling yourself that.)

he stood up to stretch. "that's cool, i definitely admire that. you don't hear people call math relaxing often."

"to each their own. i just think it's important for someone to have something they enjoy, and who gives a shit what it is if it doesn't hurt anyone?"

you probably shouldn't have added the last part, as it came out more defensive than you anticipated. however, jiung didn't seem surprised. his eyes were kind and welcoming.

"i think it's a good rule to go by. there'd be way less conflict in the world if people minded their own business. oh, speaking of that, i hope i didn't bother you by coming in."

to your surprise, you didn't mind. "of course not, it is a teacher's classroom anyways, not mine, so obviously people have the right to come in, although most don't. and i mean, i do prefer it to be quiet while working. but your presence isn't bad or anything."

you twirled the whiteboard marker around in your hands. “quite the opposite, really. i actually liked talking to you.”

“do you not like talking to others?” he joked, probably noticing the emphasis you put on “liked.”

“i figure i either scare people away or they’re not the kind of person i want to be friends with anyways. also, not gonna lie, socializing is hard.”

for better or for worse, you knew what people thought about you—this was a fairly small school, after all. it was easier to just isolate than to worry about who was judging you.

"nothing wrong with incompatibility," he said with a small smile and a shrug. "it just means there's people out there who are better suited for you anyways."

you hadn't thought about your situation like that, but that was probably a wise way to put it.

"that... actually makes sense."

where was this dude lurking? it would have been nice to get to know him earlier, you thought. although it might be too early to tell, you had put him tentatively under a category of "people that were better suited for you."

jiung glanced at his phone for a quick second. "break's ending soon, so i have to head to my history class, but i enjoyed talking to you!”

he headed toward the door, but as he was about to leave, he turned back, as if he was forgetting something. "hey, mind if i get your kakaotalk information? let's chat again sometime."

you entered in your number, voice a little shaky. "i'd love to chat. and if you ever need to find me, i'll be here, like i always am."

"well then, i'll see you around!"

he walked to his next class, leaving you to ponder if it really was so difficult to make friends after all.

[daffodilfool]

Re: Music and Intelligence

Before I start there's a couple things I need to get out of the way.

First off, this is a "follow up" of sorts to an old tumblr post of mine which you can find here. Feel free to read it if you're interested, just know that I wrote it on a whim without really doing any research. Since writing the post I decided to write a paper on the subject for school, and I now know a lot more about the subject than I did back then.

I am also still by no means a professional biologist, nor an expert in any of the stuff I'll be talking about. I am a biology student, an artist, and an autist extraordinaire writing a post on tumblr. Take everything I say with a grain of salt if not two.

With that said,

I. What is Music?

That's a good fucking question, and if I'm going to be completely honest, we don't fucking know. It may seem obvious but the fact is whatever you think is the answer, someone else will disagree with you. What is and what isn't music is entirely subjective, and what you may think is music, someone else might just hear noise, and vice versa. But it's still a question we need to answer in order to continue, after all you cant find something when you don't know what you're looking for.

To spare you the boring part, for the purposes of this discussion music will be defined as an abstract form of verbal and / or instrumental communication based around the use of one or more "musical qualities" such as rhythm, melody, tone colour and pitch.

This definition is the result of a lot of discussions between me, my supervisors, my friends and my family, and is based in various scientific bases such as mathematics, history and neurology, as well as common consensus. But I won't bore you with the details.

II. How is Music?

Unless you are famed composer Ludwig van Beethoven, you might have noticed that when you listen to music, you tend to do so with your ears. Your ears are however not the part of you that process the music, the ears simply turn sound waves into electrical signals through a series of bones that groove it silly style to compress a liquid that tickles some incredibly sensitive hairs that send out electrical impulses in response. Got that? No? Doesn't matter. What's important is the ear converts sound waves into electrical signals that the brain is capable of processing.

So how does the brain process music? Well for most sounds it's more or less fairly straight forwards; as the electrical impulses from the ear reach the brain, the temporal lobe (located just behind the temples) snatches up that signal and compares that signal with your memories in the hippocampus (the memory center, located inside the temporal lobe) in order to deduce what you heard, as well as comparing signals with the opposite temporal lobe to deduce where the sound came from. If the temporal lobe recognises a sound as being speech, that info is sent to the frontal lobe for processing and back again.

Music, however, is not so simple. While the first pass is similar to processing speech, by the time the signal has reached the frontal lobe the temporal lobe has begun sending out signals about the musical qualities to most other parts of the brain as well. Most notably the amygdala (responsible for emotion) and the parietal lobe (responsible for processing touch, spacial awareness and the somatosensory system) are sent into overdrive in order to process the emotional and rhythmic aspects of music and processing them as your own, hence why listening to music has such a strong emotional and sensory effect.

The brain is complex, and truthfully we don't know exactly how it works. After all, "If the human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we couldn't." But what we do know is that processing music is no simple task, in fact it is incredibly energy intensive, seemingly wasting resources in an already incredibly power hungry organ.

So of course that begs the question:

III-a. Why is Music?

This is where it gets a little more speculative. Truth is we don't know, and we likely never will. Unfortunately I can't give you a 100% true "this is how it happened" set in stone answer, but what I CAN give you is my best educated guess, and let you think about it in the mean time.

I've read dozens of papers on the origins of music and the origins of intelligence, but not a single one of them mention what, to me, seems like an obvious link between the two, aside from the occasional conclusion that music is an evolutionary hiccup and a side effect of intelligence. But I'd argue that not only is music not an evolutionary hiccup, but rather an integral part in the development of intelligence.

Music undeniably influences the brain in a massive way, but the exact amount is highly debated. Some are thoroughly convinced that music has the power to make people more intelligent, others believe music has no more influence over the brain than any other sound. There are plenty studies supporting both stances and an equal amount contradicting them. So where do I stand?

Intelligence is not one monolithic concept, but rather a series of cognitive skills that interact and interface with each other and the world around us. Problem solving, logic, emotional intelligence, spacial intelligence, linguistics, and creativity, to name a few, are all kinds of intelligence, all of which can be trained. While music isn't some magical spell capable of just cranking up these cognitive skills, it does serve as an effective medium through which one can easily train several of these skills all at once, by virtue of engaging the entire brain, ESPECIALLY (but not exclusively) in the context of learning an instrument.

Learning an instrument is difficult and a large reason as to why is exactly because it engages so many aspects of the brain. Playing an instrument requires spacial awareness to know where to play, it requires problem solving to know how to play, it requires emotional intelligence to know what to play. It engages nearly every aspect of intelligence, and the ability to train all these facets simultaneously allows them to build off each other, paired with the fact that you're already training several skills in the same time as you would train one, comes together to form an intelligence greater than the sum of learning each skill individually.

III-b. Why Music?

The observant among you may have noticed that I've been talking a lot about "intelligence" in that last section, but I never bothered to define it, why is that? Simply put, I can't, I don't think it's possible. Intelligence is such a vast nebulous concept that no one definition of it would be just or even somewhat accurate, but going forwards I'll be talking about sapience specifically, often defined as the ability to feel and understand emotions as well as the ability to do complex problem solving. Good? Good.

Humans are the only sapient species on earth, that we know of for sure, at least. That isn't to say there aren't other potential candidates for sapience, because there absolutely are animals straddling the line of what we would consider sapient. So what animals are the most likely to be sapient? Well it's commonly agreed upon that us, chimps, elephants, cetaceans, corvids, parrots, and octopi make that list, but what you may notice is that besides our shared intelligence, we actually have very little in common otherwise: body shape, phyla, behavior, diets, environments, etc.

But the one thing that we all have in common besides our intelligence, also just happens to be a trait only observed in this seemingly random selection of animals: the ability to understand music. If music were an evolutionary hiccup, a mere coincidence in our development, surely it would not be a trait shared only by sapient animals, nearly all of which evolved their sapience separately.

So why do music and sapience seem to be mutually inclusive? Well, what is "intelligence" really if not the ability to take in and replicate knowledge? The more efficiently you are able to communicate a concept, and the more efficiently you're able to store and apply said concept, the more intelligent you are. It just happens that art is the most information dense form of communication, and music happens to be one that nearly everyone is capable of creating using no outside tools whatsoever.

Music is a universal language, one so deeply ingrained within us that it overpowers even the spoken language of modern day. Though it may have started as simple monotone calls to simply alert your next of kin of your presence, a la cicadas, the ability to parse that information efficiently would clear up more space to communicate more complex ideas, and over the span of hundreds of thousands of years, if not millions, those simple calls began communicating progressively more complex ideas, until eventually you would end up with what we now today know as full blown music. Remember what I said earlier about music being an effective learning medium? Yeah, imagine that except over the span of eons.

That, I believe, is why music is.

[inconsideratekidney]

9/5/24

hi there,

today felt long, even though my day technically ended at 1:45, my brain and body haven't felt well-rested since 2008. i will always be forever stuck in my younger self. i had so many american girl dolls, barbies, polly pockets, calico critters, one random strawberry shortcake phase, etc. and i still will forever miss them. my playing days didn't end in 2008, just the last time i probably felt well-rested.

i also wish that i had more mobility in my fingers, hands, wrists, and arms and neck/upper chest because i want to wear so much jewelry but it tends to cut off my circulation when i get hot and sweaty and it all starts to irritate me about halfway through my day. i enjoy wearing memorable pieces of jewelry and whatnot that people give me, i like to wear them every day to think of people, even if they don't match. every few days or so i need to rip them off and get acclimated for a day or so to not having anything obstructing my circulation. then i go back. it's a fun cycle, not a vicious one!

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i feel a headache coming on...must be all the sims and constant screen exposure for like 2 hours...

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speaking of which, my homework has been started since i sent that email out! i just also have my mind on other things....

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i'm excited about this direction for my blog! i hope it works out well, even though i know the notifications will be different. if you don't make an account then you can't turn on notifications which is annoying, unless someone knows a better way? i don't want to force people to make an account....

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i have found myself making friends with people that i am slightly uncomfortable with? i don't know how to word it, but i feel very overstimulated often with certain people and they seem to enjoy my company, but i am silently screaming. it's hard when someone is loud and does not whisper well when everyone else is quiet or the professor is lecturing and i am just trying not to get noticed......i notice with this kind of acquaintance i typically just go silent while theyre talking and develop lazerbeam eyes that look right through to the other side of them. i find it hard to communicate when im uncomfortable with something or something someone is doing, especially when im not that close with that someone.

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this is me from the future aka the next morning cuz i forgot to finishing writing. i dont want to do 2 day posts, bc that ruins the purpose of what im trying to achieve--once a day every day or every couple of days or once a week. not multiplr days on end. i already write a lot so i cant have multiple days in one post. i can feel myself wanting to start writing more but its only been like 12 hours since i last wrote so im gonna take a cooldown before doing that. (i will say tho sleeping on my back last night actually was so much better than my stomach and i went out like a light and only shifted in my sleep like 2 times)

anyshway, have a blessed day,

kD :p

[burntwaffle12]

20 Questions For Fanfic Writers

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

4 (2 are collabs with the amazing @monpetitchattriste )

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

54,832

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Miraculous

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

An Unhinged Team Up

Hold my hand (I want to show you off)

Sweet like wine...Maybe?

Speak now (or forever hold your peace)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why? Why not?

I respond to every comment I get. I am fairly new to posting fanfiction and I love seeing the reactions I get from the readers. Also, I write because I need to get all the crazy ideas bouncing off in my head out or else I go insane, an after accomplishing that, comments are an extra reassurance of 'yeah, this was a good idea'.

I do have to say, I still have to get a bad comment, so in the event I do get some negative feedback or just a straight up mean comment I don't know how I would react or if I would even react at all, but that all just comes with experience.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I still need to write pure angst, but I do have a lot of angsty ideas in mind that I can hopefully publish one day. So far though, the angstiest fic is An Unhinged Team Up, I would say.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Hold my hand (I want to show you off), nothing but fluff at the end

8. Do you get hate on fics?

So far no

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not a usual smut writer, I only have 2 but hey I guess thats 50% of my works. So far it has been more mellowed down smut but really passionate and needy

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Nope, but I do have some wild AU's in mind

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so, at least I haven't noticed so I think that's a good sign.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes!! my best friend @monpetitchattriste write a shiton together and even have a shared drive where we dump all our ideas, she gets me and the unhinged thoughts I spurt out daily

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Anything love square, I eat it up.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I can't start a wip until I finish the last one, so for me to not finish a WIP is very unlikely. Call it what you want but my brain won't allow me to drop something midway.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I like to thing dialogue, and plot planning. I tend to come up with really intense scenes

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Maybe deacriptions? I start off very well but the deeper I go I tend to notice I repeat words a lot so I need to go into a thesaurus to help me out. I also would like to be more detailed.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

That sounds fun, I speak 4 languages so I think it would be manageable, I would be worried about grammar in a language I'm not familiar with though, so I would ask someone for help

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Officially, Miraculous. Unofficially...Harry Styles when I was 14

20. Favourite fics you’ve written?

My first multichapter fic, An Unhinged Team Up. The plot is so fun to write out, even if a little challenging at times

Thanks for the tag! @hamsteriffic

Mmmm I'm tagging @monpetitchattriste and @miabrown007

[just-jordie-things]

so u started writing tbah in feb?? and u finished writing the series,, that makes sm sense why you're always on time. what's your writing and posting process like? do u only start posting after you fully finished writing.. do u stay active a few mins to look at readers reaction after a fic drops,, i noticed that each writer does it in their own style

oh yeah !! when i write a series i try to write the whole thing before posting about it at all. i would feel sooo baaaad if i started posting a series and stopped midway bcuz i lost inspo for it, yk?

(also if i did that with tbah i think i'd get hate and honestly... can't blame y'all for that. i am putting readers thru the wringer with this one lmfao)

en ee wayz. my process is ill-defined and laughable, but i'll try to explain!

i wrote each part, tried to keep the word count of each chapter as equal as i could- but sometimes a chapter ends/draws on on it's own, yk? some endings come naturally. after i completed the entire series i read back thru the whole thing to edit (which took fuckin forever but i never edit my work ((lazy!!)) and i wanted this series to be a lil more polished)

and since tumblr is a totally easy and compliant site i copied over the chapters into my queue one by one- and then had to compare side by side to add any italics/spacing in the original in google docs bcuz sometimes tumblr just copies words and nothing else.

bada bing bada boom i queued it all up to post on mondays bcuz ppl need something to look forward to at the beginning of the week and tbah was set in motion !!

for as long as the series is i think i actually wrote most of it fairly quickly. i really knew what i wanted out of it before i started writing it- i tend to daydream about fics a lot and therefore had a lot of it already in mind. but the little parts of filler and the editing took a lot of my time.

also i LOVE your guys' reactions !!! i frequently check comments and tags for your funny and angry messages !! i go back and reread them too to get a lil boost thru my writers block. i'm prolly the only tumblr user that actually has their notifs turned on just so i can catch when someone comments !! that goes for all my works, not just this series <3 i appreciate and love all my readers so so much, you guys get me giddy and you keep me going !! <3 kisses on all your foreheads !!!!

this got long but thanks for asking !! this series is my special interest right now lolol

xoxo ~ jordie

[kimyoonmiauthor]

Doing more research on Story structure--Structuralists.

This round I found out... but I’m looking into roughly the 1960′s-1980′s. White straight men are still insufferable. And yes, someone is going to chime in with “Not all men” But I’m going to hit back with especially these men. Yes, yes, you’re crying, but women and what about PoCs, etc. You see, kids, the majority of the structuralists are white cishet abled men who like to also celebrate white cishet abled men while being AHs to everyone else. Some of them are Jewish, but the Christians are also AHs to the Jews. One or two are gay in the mix of things, but then they get erased from canon. Feel mercy for me since I had to read a lot of insufferable misogyny, racism, erasure, etc and then call people out for it. I should note that this type of erasure doesn’t tend to happen with white women women. They cite EVERYTHING. Because they think deep in their hearts, they will be doubted, but these white cishet abled men think that they won’t be doubted, so often take the credit for these “brilliant” ideas from other people and then fail to cite them, especially when they are disabled, PoC, a woman, etc. Or generally they hate them (which is justifiable with Freytag, BTW). So I’m catching you up on my research so far through mostly the beginning of European lit to about the early 1960′s (and you can tell I’m really tired)

I went to the library, and to be honest they don’t have books from the 1970′s much through the 1980′s. I’m thinking at this point either I have to buy them, go through Google books, or go to yet a bigger library. I have one in mind, actually, but it’s going to take a while to get there. What I noticed in the books I was able to sample, was this overwhelming feeling like this is how it was and always will be, DESPITE the fact that my research DOES NOT BACK THIS. For example... “How to write Western Novel” by Matt Braun 

manages to cite a bunch of people before the 19th century, forwards, and without any citations (i.e. no backing or quotes or scholarship), asserts that everything they wrote was about conflict. This is called retconning folks. It’s not backed by my research one bit. (There are long, long ass posts about Shakespeare, Aristotle, etc and what *people at the time* wrote about story structure.

CITATIONS, MATT, for the love of what’s holy. And it’s a Writer’s Digest book. (They started in 1920, and this makes my head spin, so, so much, because in the early 1920′s you had the confessional story, which wasn’t really about conflict, but about morals, so you know I have a huge rant about this too. WTF, Writer’s Digest? Did you forget your own history?) But he waxes on and on about 3-act, climaxes, and conflict. I guess all of those Kurosawa movies are also in 3-act? (except they aren’t, because I’ve watched them several times and they use a variety of plot structures, which include, but are not limited to: Kishotenketsu, Jo-ha-kyu, and some of the staging of Noh/Kabuki--I also looked up Noh and Kabuki plot structure, which is 5 acts, with an internal act structure of Jo-ha-kyu--the plot structure that makes international people often angry and upset.) For those who are unclear, Kurosawa had a HUGE influence on Westerns and how they are shot in Hollywood. (A true Western fan would know this...) And Yojimbo, which caught the attention of fans internationally was shot in 1961.

The things is that though Matt says there isn’t a correct way to plot a book, he assumes the only correct way to structure it is 3-act, by this point, which is 1988. Which means by this time, all of the other plot structures are kind of dying, though there is Joseph Campbell. So overall, this means by 1988, people didn’t think there were any other options--which coincides later with the Charlie Rose Interviews with Tony Morrison.

There are no real citations in the book. If there are, it’s odd quotes, mostly by white men. Because only white men can star and be in Westerns, Matt? This, BTW, is changing as the real history of the West is being redug up and discovered. Follow? This is writer history here. This is why you should doubt always was and always will be. I didn’t have the heart to go through the entire bookshelf, really, and my energy is limited on spoons, because who wants to sit there as a queer, disabled poc feminist reading white cisabled men glorifying white cis abled men while doing erasure of people just lie me for hours?

Dark Thoughts on Writing Edited by Stanley Wiater, originally published 1974

ONE WOMAN IN THE FREAKING ENTIRE BOOK (and it’s Anne Rice. WTF, Stanley)

The edition I picked up was from 1997 WTF.

So you edited it and couldn’t find a single other woman in that entire effing time. WTF Stanley. WTF.

This is a compilation of various quotes by various horror authors. But it’s all men except one. I did check a few of the names in post, but I got tired after seeing a wash of white men. There wasn’t anything useful. Djuna Barnes- Sapphic horror writer. June 12, 1892 died: June 18, 1982 Plenty of time to quote her. “Truman Capote, William Goyen, Karen Blixen, John Hawkes, Bertha Harris, Dylan Thomas, David Foster Wallace, and Anaïs Nin. Writer Bertha Harris described her work as "practically the only available expression of lesbian culture we have in the modern western world" since Sappho.“ -- Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Djuna_Barnes Also from this list: https://romancingthegothic.com/2021/03/14/100-women-writers-in-horror-the-gothic-and-supernatural-fiction-from-the-18th-century-to-2021/

42) Jean Rhys (1890 – 1972) Rhys was a British author who grew up in Dominica. She had a lengthy writing career with adaptations made of some works. She is most famous, of course, for The Wide Sargasso Sea which reimagines Jane Eyre through the eyes of Bertha Mason.43) Anya Seton (1904 – 1990) One of the most popular manifestations of the Gothic in the 20th century was the Gothic Romance. An early example was the book Dragonwyck (1940) by historical novelist Anya Seton. (The inspiration for the title of Vincent Virga’s Gaywyck – the first gay Gothic romance).

44) Victoria Holt (1906 – 1993) If we’re talking Gothic Romance, we can’t miss out Victoria Holt. Holt was the pseudonym of Eleanor Hibbett used for her Gothics. She had many pseudonyms for writing in different genres. It was her Mistress of Mellyn (1960) which really saw the beginning of the Gothic romance heyday.

45) Phyllis Whitney (1903 – 2008) Another of the most prolific and popular Gothic romance writers was Phyllis Whitney. Rather than setting her novels in a windswept England, many novels are set in America or in locations all over the world, often with more ‘modern’ heroines. The Trembling Hills (1956) is a favourite for me – the stakes are particularly high…

46) Violet Winspear (1928 – 1989) Winspear was a popular and prolific Mills and Boon author. She didn’t write category Gothic romances but was known for her inclusion of Gothic elements in some works. Dearest Demon (1975) includes doubling, demonic heroes and murderous danger.

47) Harper Lee (1926 – 2016) There were many genres and offshoots of the Gothic in the 20th century. One of the most well-known is perhaps the Southern Gothic, set in the American South and investigating narratives of decay, decline and race relations. Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird (1960) is one of the most famous examples.

48) Shirley Jackson (1916 – 1965) Jackson was a prolific writer (over 200 short stories and 6 novels). It’s hard to pick a work. ‘The Lottery’, with its final twist, is a favourite. For horror, you can’t go wrong with The Haunting of Hill House (1959).

49) Joan Lindsay (1896 – 1984) Australian Lindsay was a novelist, dramatist and essayist. Her novel Picnic at Hanging Rock (1967) is a historical Gothic about disappearing school girls, unresolvable mysteries and the main character: the landscape. 

50) Angela Carter (1940 – 1992) Carter is most well-known, perhaps, for her Gothic and horrifying fairy-tales in The Bloody Chamber (1979). Her books mix genres with a thread of feminism running through. If you’re looking for something less familiar, try Shadow dance (1966). Horrifying!

https://jessnevins.com/blog/?p=842 Covers Black Horror writers.

It’s not that these people didn’t exist, it’s that he didn’t want to contact them.

Also FU stanley.

How to write Plots that Sell by FA Rockwell

Francis Alicia Rockwell--the only thing she wrote was writing manuals--five of them, but never really wrote a novel.

https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1992-10-16-me-209-story.html

In this book, she mentions only 1 woman in the entire book. Cites nothing, and argues yet again for conflict.

That’s a lot of internalization you got there Francis, especially after you wrote this:

In a society in which there are more and more single women and an increasing amount of violence and men streets, there's a valuable premise in the old German proverb "A woman without a man is like a garden without a fence.” What sort of plot does this suggest to you? A successful woman-executive who feels incomplete, unprotected, and exposed without a man, for all her independence, fame, and fortune. A popular formula presents an attractive lady VIP in her thirties or forties whose life is, as always, full, rich, and happy without marriage. Suddenly and surprisingly she marries a rather plain, nondescript man whom everyone considers her inferior. In this case you'd highlight suspense and motivation. (Page 71)

Are you crying? I am. WTH, Francis. Also, her reading of Roses for Emily, I find it really strange. Her take on it isn’t the literary analysis I’ve ever heard and sounds super conservative?

Starting with the same German Proverb, you might go the way-out route of a woman pretending not to be single by wearing a wedding ring, propping up a male dummy in her car at night to deceive would -be attackers, or carrying a tear gas pen or police whistle. All, of course, much more innocent and practical than the gruesome husband-substitute in William Faulkner’s “A Rose for Emily,” in which the old maid kept a male corpse in her bed.

But don’t worry, if you’re not upset at that, she does have casual racism too:

“What can happen to your skywriting pilot downed in a primitive area--Africa, South America, etc.--whom the natives consider a god or a devil?”

 IN the jokes section.

This is 1975. In summary, this book is more how to get ideas for books, but by this time reinforces the idea that conflict is the only way forwards. It still astounds me and depresses me that this woman (who never wrote a novel in her life) could only cite one woman author in the entirety of the book. She cited one PoC by accident, but not by name--Dumas. (Since apparently Africans are “primitive”--the entire continent. WTH, Francis.) The book doesn’t get better, and gave me a royal headache along the way--the foundational ideas are good--here’s how to get ideas and maybe apply them, but having to climb through misogyny and racism to get them, bad. Again, there are very few direct citations. And also an invocation of Shakespeare and that Shakespeare was about conflict--but he wasn’t--he was about morality.

She also steals from Rowe, doesn’t cite him draws some diagrams, etc. I know it had to be Rowe, because she uses his wording almost one for one. WTH, Francis AND YOU ARE A TEACHER (what is it with teachers not citing their works?). He stole in turn, if you remember from Esenwein who cited Whitcomb. But the wording that was used by Rowe to cite Esenwein (not really, but indirectly) and his new assertions on top are stolen by Francis. The diagramming is almost the same too, but by 1975, the printing tech on images had gotten better. I found her book so depressing, I forgot to ask for my ID since I had to give my ID to look at the book. And then I left the building to do something else, and then I had to come back for my ID, it was so nauseating having to climb though a book with so few women and PoCs and then outright hatred of women. WTH Francis, and you’re a woman?

So, I think this goes to show that at least for these three books, internalization and spill over to women would have begun, the erasure is peaking around this time. Still doesn’t answer my question about the Antigone diagram. I’m looking in university libraries, hopefully for the answer. Even my Lit professors who drew the damned thing don’t seem to know the origin. And this is what I really, really want to say: Don’t repeat things you don’t know the origin of.

Also PLEASE CITE YOUR SOURCES IN FULL WITH THE BOOK AND PAGE NUMBER.

[moemothra]

your style seems really cool but how come you only draw skinny characters? :(

Hi! You should prolly send these asks to my art blog next time rather than this one in the future but that’s ok I’ll answer it here, and actually I’m glad you asked this because I agree with you. I look at my galleries and I don’t like what I see.

This is probably going to be really long so I’m putting my full response under the cut

I do want to say that I only post an extremely small fraction of my art publicly, and I post to tumblr the least. And I also almost exclusively draw ocs (you can probably see that the only fan art I tend to make is of Gon and Killua) and I am even more guarded about posting my ocs online. My neocities is still a WIP and a lot of my ocs don’t have pages yet either.

THAT BEING SAID, I still don’t have enough fat characters, there are ocs that I am redesigning to be fatter and there are fat ocs from the past that need more attention from me. You’re right, skinny people dominate my galleries. I have recently come to this realization myself and I want to remedy it.

Also I’m not gonna lie, my art has stopped diversifying in pretty much every aspect.. I stopped doing backgrounds, I stopped doing dynamic poses, I stopped branching out and challenging myself. I actually consider myself a beginner now and I am very very very slowly relearning art and trying to rediscover my love for it. I have a really tumultuous history with art, and I don’t think it’s relevant to your ask for me to dive into it, but I just wanted to say that I am VERY AWARE of all my problems and shortcomings as an artist and I am working to fix them. Treating skinny people as the default is one of them!

I honestly don’t think any of what I wrote is a very satisfactory but I want to be as open and sincere as I can be. I used to be a much better artist than I am now, maybe not in technical skill but definitely creatively and as far as subject matter went. I’m not particularly happy with where I’m at now, but I am regaining my motivation to be better. I have a list of 2024 artist goals which includes trying to find a life drawing class and doing studies again.

And now for the sappy part, your ask is actually something I really needed to hear. I’ve spent a very long time believing no one cares what I draw either way, and that I can draw or not draw whatever I want because no one is looking. Your ask, even on the off chance that maybe it was sent in bad faith, is the first sign the someone actually does care, at least a little bit, and has noticed my art enough to be able to point out a glaring flaw. No one else has taken that much of an interest, positively or negatively, in an extremely long time and I didn’t realize how impactful feedback is until right this moment.

I would say keep an eye on my neocities, because i still avoid posting ocs to tumblr, so most of my art will probably end up there. or on sheezy whenever it comes back!

[bonesandthebees]

Also, while I’m here. Could you do 2, 4, 6, 13, 17 and 18 for the ask game if those haven’t been answered? Or pick any of those cuz it’s a lot.

-🌲

2. Do you read/reread your own fics?

Absolutely. I write my fics for myself first and foremost, so yeah I reread them a lot. It doesn't hit the same as it would reading someone else's fic, but there are so many times I want a very specific niche of content I can't find and I'm just like "well gotta do it myself." A lot of times I even get distracted from writing bc I start rereading a different fic of mine. that almost happened with world forgetting last night but I pulled myself out before I could start rereading it bc I had stuff to do lmao

4. How many WIPs do you have right now?

Uh. This depends on your definition of WIP. If you mean something in progress I know for sure I will continue posting, then 2 right now (glass and tinfoil) (and also the series that roses was a prequel to but I haven't started properly writing it yet I've just been doing a ton of worldbuilding for it recently). But if we're talking anything in progress that I might end up posting at some point but probably won't... too many to count

6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time?

the thing is with the fics I REALLY enjoyed (like from a storytelling perspective) I won't actually reread that much because if I do, I want to sit down and do it properly yknow? so the fics I reread tend to be easier, simpler one shots or just snippets of fluff fics if I just need a shot of serotonin straight to the brain. I will say though, I make it a point to reread ritual purposes by thanotaphobia on a semi-regular basis because there's just something about the atmosphere and the story and all of it that really hits for me. just the way roxy describes small details scratches an itch in my brain so I adore rereading it just to pick up on those smaller bits

13. How much planning do you do before writing?

If it's a 'smaller' fic (ie: anything below 100k words like honey and tangerines and below) then I'll usually do a loose bullet point outline of the entire thing before I start writing. if it's one of my big fics then when I start I usually know the beginning, the end, and some in between scenes I know I'll throw in at some point, but that's it. I'll do a loose bullet outline usually 2-3 chapters at a time, but I won't plot out the entire thing in one go because then I'll get bored of it. Coming up with most of the plot as I go helps me to not only keep myself interested, but I feel like it helps the plot flow better because I get into a rhythm with the story and I can let it go places I didn't originally plan

17. What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic?

well the other day I googled "heat capacity of rivers" doing research for the eventual big royalty fic I'm gonna do after glass is over so. learning a lot of climate stuff! (apparently the reason coastal cities have a cooler, more stable climate than inland areas is because of the heat capacity of the ocean so I wanted to see what the heat capacity of a river would be and if a river would have a similar if less noticeable effect on the climate of a town)

18. What’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic?

I usually answer with the same thing every time so I tried finding a different answer to this question this time around

I really loved this whole segment I wrote in the penultimate chapter of stars. especially the lines about Prince Theseus being a child of Eldingvegr itself. Idk what I was on but I just love the mental image this provokes

ty for these spruce!!

ask game!

[nerdierholler]

For the ask post! I’m most curious about 6, 15, 20, 24, 30, 44, 58, 65, 78, 79, 80, but pick whichever you feel like answering! ❤️

Thank you nonny!

From Weird Asks That Say A Lot

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? Whatever jeans and a t-shirt is. Tomboy? But in my youth I was very grunge. I still have a soft spot for flannel, converse, and doc martens even if they aren't as much of a regular staple of my wardrobe these days.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? There are a few books I had to read for school that I kept and read again on my own later. My Antonia might be my favorite of that lot.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? Usually just on my laptop. Last October I wrote minifics in a notebook and that was a lovely change of pace.

24. favorite crystal? I don't know anything about crystals but raw geode amethyst is lovely. I would totally buy a chunk of that for decoration.

30. places that you find sacred? I absolutely do not want to live there again but there are places in Texas that hit me like nothing else does. Otherwise, even though I've only had a chance to do this once, an off season beach somewhere with trees not too far away where's it's chilly and gray and you can sit by a warm fire to watch a storm roll in over the ocean.

44. favorite scent for soap? Just about anything that's not sickly sweet or vanilla. I do enjoy cinnamon and apple scents when I can find them but also sometimes like muskier things too.

58. four talents you’re proud of having? I can sew and I've made a number of quilts over the years. I know a ton of random animal facts (that's a talent, right?). It tends to happen sporadically but I think I can be quite good at writing from time to time. Also not sure it's really a talent, and it's taken me until I was over 40, but I finally manage to do housework regularly. Most of the time someone could stop by unannounced and I wouldn't be embarrassed about the state of things.

65. any permanent scars? lol so many. One of the more noticeable and oddest looking is my recluse scar on my arm. The bite wasn't anything crazy, it was still a recluse bite, and it went as smoothly as those things can, no complications. However around the actual scar where I lost that tissue and had to regrow it, there's all these red streaks where the original large bruise was. I assume it's some sort of scarring under the skin from the venom. After 2 years it shows no signs of going away but doesn't bother me at all.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? I don't eat sushi so gotta go with gas station coffee.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? Well, it's been a good long while since I've had a student ID so gotta default to license here. It's fine, don't love or hate the picture. I do need to renew it before next year though...

80. earth tones or jewel tones? Earth tones all the way!