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tokyoimagines · 4 years

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✧ I’ll Always Take Care Of You ✧

❀ Summary: Megumi was hurt on his last mission so you took it in your own hands to take care of him!

❀ A/N: If I mix up the names I’m sorry, I watched Jujutsu Kaisen in three different languages and the names get mixed up a lot. I’m not a native English speaker speaker so there will be mistakes (feel free to correct me)

❀ Pairings: Megumi x Reader

❀ Warnings: Grammar Error / Fluff / Blood / Bad Language

❀ Published: 11.02.2021

❀ Words: 1.742

You couldn't believe it.

Megumi just came back from a mission that Gojo gave him a few days ago but he won’t let you allow see him. He came back a few hours ago and went straight to his room, not even looking you in the eyes. You just wanted to know if he was fine but he kept blocking every social interaction.

All you knew was that the mission included a grade 1 curse while Megumi was a grade 2 sorcerer so this shit didn’t even make sense. You were really worried, not knowing what happened.

“Megumi? Can I please come in?” it’s the fifth time now that you are were standing in front of his closed door. Shifting on your feet you waited quietly until you heard his stern voice replying. “No you can’t. Now please leave me alone.” Wow that hurt. A frustrated sigh leaving your mouth. Your best friend could be so stubborn its incredible.

Deciding if you should go to your room or just try again you saw Yuuji approaching you. “Yo!” he waved at you “He won’t let you in either?”

“No, I don’t know whats going on with him. So you also tried to talk too him?” you sigh, putting a strand of hair behind your ear. Looking at Yuuji you noticed that he also seemed kind of worried. You remember how happy he was when you first met him, this boy has definitely changed a lot.

“Well he told me to fuck off.” he said laughing. “HE SAID WHAT?”

Yuuji let out a loud laugh. “I guess he’s just really exhausted, we should give him a break and try again later” Thinking about what he just said you bit your lip. Maybe he was right and Megumi was just really tired. We’re probably just annoying him right now.

“You’re probably right. If he was really hurt he would have went to Shoko. I’ll look after him again in the evening.” you said in a monotone voice.

After the sun began to set you found yourself in the kitchen, brewing some soup. “If he won’t let me in this time I’ll pour this shit over his head!” you mumbled while stirring the soup. Grabbing a bowl of the freshly made soup you made your way to Megumis room again. Hesitantly you knocked on the door again. “Megumi? I made you some food. I haven’t seen you the whole day, you must be hungry…” You waited nervously, biting your lip.

What if I just woke him up? Oh shit this punk will kill me.

“Leave the food in front of the door, I’ll get it later.”

Wait? Is this idiot serious right now?

You couldn't remember the last time you were this angry at your best friend because this shit just reached a whole different level. “You know what? I give a shit if you don’t want anyone to see you. Get the fuck ready because I’m coming in now”

“Y/N I dare y-” You stepped into his room, making his words die on his lips. He was laying in his bed while holding an ice pack to his lips.

Walking over to his bed and putting the soup on his nightstand you could make out some bloody tissue papers in his trash bin.

Now inspectating his face more closely you were able to see a big cut over his eyebrow and a dark purple eye. Now grabbing his wrist and pulling his hand with the ice pack away from his face, revealing a bruised lips.

“You could have just told me you were hurt.” you pressed out quietly. “You should go to Shoko”

“It’s really not that bad” he mumbled, pressing the ice against his lip again.

“That bloody shit in your trash says otherwise.” you pointed at his trash bin. “I’ll be right back, just don’t run away.”

“Where do you think I would be going looking like th-” again he was cut off by you leaving his room.

A few seconds later you came back bursting into his room again, in your hand a little package.

“Okay I guess I’ve got everything I need. Can you sit up? And put that damn ice to the side.”

Megumi put the ice on his nightstand and sat himself on the edge of his bed looking around his room. He looked everywhere but definitely not at you. After you positioned yourself in front of him you grabbed his chin softly, not wanting to hurt him any further.

“You look like shit” you said while getting out the bandages and the alcohol.

“Yeah Sherlock you don’t say” you chuckled at his stupid remark.

Putting some alcohol on a cotton wrap you padded it on the cut over his eyebrow. This angle gave you a chance to have a better look at his eyes. They were so dark, almost like obsidian. They were so deep, you almost got lost into them but Megumis hissing made you snap back. Ah right, the alcohol.

“I’m sorry, does it hurt that bad?”

“No, its fine. Just hurry please” You nodded, putting the cotton wrap away and grabbing a big band aid to put it over the cut. “This should stop the blending for now.”

“Turn your head a little bit, I need to see how badly your lips look.”

He turned his head to the side. His lips where mostly bruised but you could make out a little cut.

I can’t really patch that up but I can at least disinfect it.

Grabbing your alcohol and cotton again, you began to press it on his lips.

“Sorry this must hurt a lot”

Megumi kept quiet and just looked at you. His stare made you nervous.

Damn this boy and his beautiful eyes.

“I guess that’s all I can do for now. Do you have any more cuts or bruises I should take a look at?”

you immediately regretted your question.

“I actually got some more wounds, but I guess I can take care of them myself, it’s fine.” Oh no. If I do my job I do it correctly.

“Can you at least show them to me so I can see how bad they are. They should not get infected, you know right?”

Megumi let out a loud sight. He grabbed his shirt and pulled it over his head. Damn it, I wasn’t expecting it to be on his rips. I thought they were on his arms or some shit like that. So this was the reason why he had troubles getting up. Makes sense now.

You immediately became flustered by the pure sight of his upper body. Luckily Megumi was busy trying to not look you in the eyes.

I have to touch him. Oh please no.

You quietly did your job of disinfecting and cleaning up his wounds. His skin was pale and cold to your touch. Your eyes staring right at his upper body, not daring to look him in the eyes for just one second. Megumi was just as nervous as you were but after some minutes of acting like all of this didn’t happen, he was able to look at you cleaning his wounds. How careful you were to not hurt him.

“Y/N?” he spoke softly. You instinctively looked up, becoming even more red.

“Thank you for doing this.” he said, still staring into your eyes.

You hectically looked away, fixing your eyes on his almost patched up wounds again.

“You don’t have to thank me for that. I’ll always take care of you. No matter what.”

After you finished patching Megumi up, you packed your things together, strands of hair falling in your face. Megumi pulled his shirt over his head, being fully clothed again. The situation was awkward and even tho you really like Megumi, you wanted to get out of it.

“Guess my job is done here. Text me if you need something and I’ll come over. And eat your soup!” you said smiling at him, pointing at the soup that was still on his nightstand.

You were about to turn around, when Megumi spoke up.

“You know you could just stay here, then I don’t have to text you if I need something” he mumbled while scratching the back of his neck, not even looking you in the eyes.

You heart hammered so loud, you were scarred he would be able to hear it.

Was he serious? He wants me to stay with him over the night. This boy is joking right?

“Are your sure? Like… you want me here to stay?” you mumbled. Not really knowing what to say. You’ve gotten so nervous it’s getting ridiculous.

“Only if you want to, I thought that would be the better option” he shifted around, not knowing if what he said was wrong.

“Yeah, yeah. I guess that would be better.” you agreed by rapidly nodding, almost stumbling over your own words.

This was everything Megumi needed to hear. He lifted his blanked up to signalize you to get your ass into his bed.

Hesitantly you crawled into the bed, now laying next to him.

Megumi was laying on his back. You turned around to face him. “Can I….. you know. Can I maybe lay my hand there?” pointing at his stomach. You felt ashamed for asking to literally cuddle him, but you just couldn't help it.

Everyone can sleep better when they cuddle something, right?

Megumi looked at you, surprised that you even asked him that. “If it helps you sleep, sure.”

You slowly slit your hands up his stomach and rested it right under the wound you just patched up before. Curling into his side you breathed his scent in. He smelled so incredibly good, it gave you butterfly's in your belly.

“Am I not hurting you?” you asked, referring to the position you hand was in.

“You could never. Now go to sleep, you had a troublesome day with me acting like a completely asshole.” he chuckled, patting your head once, letting his hand rest on your back.

“I guess your right.” was all you where able to say, before slowly drifting off into a deep sleep.

Megumi watched you a bit longer, questioning how you both ended up like this. He always had liked you since he first laid his eyes on you. Seeing your sleeping form curled into him, made him realize how much he cared for you.

A/N

I hope you liked this imagine. If you know things I could do better, feel free to DM me. I always want to improve myself and my writing.

Have a nice day! ♡

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littlegiantposts · 4 years

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movie night

pairing: todoroki x f!reader

warning: strong language probably. possible anime/manga spoilers! grammar mistakes :( I suck at writing

summary: It’s not that Y/n didn’t want friends, it’s just people always found her intimidating

a/n: this is completely self-indulgent lol sorry about that, so like yeah I’m gonna be saying y/n, but also i am deriving her personality, attitude, looks from a character that I’ve sort of made up in my head haha. also idk if this is like a headcanon, imagine, or like a scenaro....so sorry. And like, sort of a side note, I love making main characters that are like sorta op so y/n’s quirk and story is sorta insane, but you guys dont really have to worry about it too much because its not really in this so....yeah, i guess its just some context. I wrote this while listening to a playlist I made, titled, “ur a badass hero with class 1-a” on spotify so if ppl wanna hear it, I will post a link to it lol. OH and class 1-a are in their second year! That’s a lot, sorry! But, I hope you enjoy!

y/n’s quirk (if ur curious): controlling the 4 elements (aang from the last airbender vibe lmao); but she also got a companion named koda (think of Moro-no-kimi from Princess Mononoke for the look)

Y/n was never good at making friends. It’s not like she didn’t try, because she did. When she was a little kid, living on Catalina Island, she made a lot of attempts to make friends with fellow children in her pre-school and middle school. It just seemed that they wanted nothing to do with her, talking bad about her behind her back or acting as if she just didn’t exist.

It started to get exhausting for Y/n to keep trying and ending up always failing. So, when enrolling in the top hero school, UA, Y/n thought that maybe, just maybe, things would be different.

Nonetheless, it’s not like she had absolutely no one. She had Koda! Her best friend in the whole wide world, well her only friend, which was her pet wolf. However, Koda doesn’t like being called a “pet”, let’s stick with her companion. They are quite the inseparable duo.

Y/n looked down at Koda from her desk who was lulling herself to sleep on the floor as Present Mic was teaching an English lesson. Y/n wished she too can sleep at this moment, “It wouldn’t hurt if I just closed my eyes for just a couple minutes.” Y/n thought. Oh, she was wrong though.

“Alright! We are going take a short break since we need to get our new textbooks,” Present Mic’s voice rang through her ears with all his elongation and passion, “Y/n and Todoroki! What about you two go get the books from the library!” Y/n would have jolted at the mention of her face, but she was honestly too tired to do so.

She nodded her head, got up from her desk, and looked at Koda if he was going to follow her. Of course, he perked up at the mention of her name and was going with her. A small smile was now on Y/n’s lips. Y/n was glad that she knew she can depend on Koda, always in her corner.

As she pushed her chair away from her desk, getting up and walking towards the door, she didn’t realize that most of the class was either looking at her or the half and half boy, for he had to endure the trip with the enigma that is Y/n.

The class just doesn’t know Y/n that well. She was one of the new students this year, along with Shinso. However, they at least knew of Shinso from last year. Y/n was a brand-spanking new addition to the class. Not to mention, her introduction to the class was nothing short of intimidating.

Aizawa knew Y/n had a lot of strengths. In fact, he used her skills as a type of learning lesson for the class. Not to mention, he completely singled her out during the “lesson” as he instructed the class that Y/n will have a bell that is tied around her belt. All they had to do was get the bell. Y/n, being the competitive person she was, didn’t back down at this challenge. Safe to say, no one was able to get the bell that day.

Y/n sighed at the memory. “Maybe, if you had some chill, you would be able to get a friend, Y/n” a voice in her head said, causing Y/n’s shoulders to shrink and her hands to be stuffed into her pockets. (Yes, she has pockets with her uniform. Yes, she’s still wearing the school uniform skirt. She sowed pockets into them for this very habit.)

“Uh, hey wait up.” a deeper voice called, already identifying who it is.

Y/n turned to right, looking at Koda for a brief second. From far away, one would think he was just grimacing, but as Y/n was closer, she can see he was very close to full-on growling at the sound of his voice.

Koda doesn’t really like Todoroki and Y/n always found it funny. Koda found everyone else real entertaining. As much as Koda was a wolf, he really was a people’s person. If Y/n didn’t know any better, it seemed Koda had a better relationship with her classmates than she actually did.

Y/n adopted a tired smile as she reacted to Koda’s growling at Shoto. She then looked behind her, seeing Todoroki jog lightly towards her. Her small smile soon faded away.

“Even if you try again to be a friend, you know that people will always end up fearing you.” Y/n honestly wanted to bang her head against a wall because this annoying voice was truly the bane of her existence.

Y/n stopped in her tracks. Koda made eye-contact with her, almost telepathically asking her, “Why are you stopping for him?!”.

“I may be aloof, but I have to at least be polite.” Y/n told her wolf companion. Koda only let out a breathe of frustration as he also stopped as well.

Todoroki soon caught up to the duo and was on Y/n’s left side. And the three began their trek to the school library.

There was some silence.

For Todoroki, it was so awkward. “Why don’t you say something to her?” he asks himself, “Or are you going to let another opportunity slip?”

You see, Shoto Todoroki admired Y/n. She was incredibly skilled with her quirk. She was confident, but not arrogant. She was an innovator, while still accepting old principles. She was naturally smart, but always open to learning. To him, she was so balanced. He couldn’t help himself as the admiration started to soon feel like a crush on the dark haired girl.

For Y/n, she didn’t think anything of the silence. In fact, she was grateful for the silence. More silence, means less time for talking. Less chance of Y/n making a fool out of herself.

“You seem more tired than usual. Trained a lot yesterday, I presume?” And Todoroki broke the silence that Y/n was trying to insist.

“Yeah, trying out a new technique with my water.”

Y/n was surprised.

She really could have been more blunt with her answer.

Theoretically, all she really had to respond with was a “yeah”, but she decided to add that last part.

Why? Why did she feel inclined to go into more detail? Now, Y/n was confused.

“That’s cool.” Todoroki wanted to hit himself in the head. “That’s all you got to say? What a conversation this is” Shoto mentally sighs. He feels like his heart is going to burst at how fast its going.

“I’m actually trying to freeze it, but that turns out to be harder than expected,” Y/n almost slapped her hand on her mouth.

Why is she going into more detail? This doesn’t make sense. She’s been quite blunt lately when people try to talk to her, so what gives?

Is it Todoroki, himself? “Maybe he put a spell on me or something.” Y/n didn’t think the “icy-hot bastard” would dabble in witchcraft, but things were just not adding up in Y/n’s mind. All these thoughts woke Y/n right up, ridding herself of her tiredness.

As for Todoroki, his mind was going into overdrive. “She’s having trouble with freezing water? She must know that this is my specialty. Is this her way of spending time with me? Does this mean the feelings I have for her are mutual? Perhaps, we can train together and I can help her with freezing.” The mere thought of spending time with Y/n outside of class made his cheeks warm up.

He was an absolute love-struck fool for Y/n.

“Oh, we’re here.” Y/n stated the obvious as they stand in front of the school’s library, halting Shoto’s mental mumbling, which almost resembled one of Midoryia’s ever-present babbling.

Shoto Todoroki immediately shot his arm forward to open the door for Y/n, but Y/n was thinking the same thing and they reached for the same handle.

Their hands touch.

And Todoroki thinks he can die happy now. Y/n’s hand is so soft. Much to his dismay, Y/n immediately drew her hand back as if his hand was scalding hot water.

Y/n mumbled a quick “sorry” and places her hand on the other handle as there are two doors to the library, she opens it and immediately walks through it as Koda follows in tow. Koda dawns an absolute confused look as he didn’t know what the hell that interaction was about.

The actual task of getting the books aren’t that hard. In fact, it was an easy and quick task.

So, why is this causing Y/n’s mind and heart feeling like they are overheating.

As they walk back to the classroom with stacks of textbooks, Y/n thought, “Okay, there’s no way in hell that he will try to talk to me again, especially after that awkward incident. Now, let’s breakdown why the actual hell you acted that way, Y/n.” She mentally scolded herself like she was a child.

Todoroki, as always, had a different plan and decided to continue the conversation, “You know, if you need help with freezing water, I can always help you since that is part of my quirk.”

Y/n has officially short-circuited.

He is voluntarily asking? Voluntarily. Asking?

Asking if Y/n wanted to train together?

This has never happened before, and she doesn’t know how to respond. “I would like that. I typically train in the morning and sometimes after school” is what Y/n felt like saying. It is as if her mind and mouth were working against each other.

However, Y/n’s thoughts were cut short as she heard the chatter of some of her fellow classmates. They three of them were very close to their classroom as their door to the room was wide open.

“Hey guys, if we’re having a movie night tonight, do you think we should invite Y/n?”

It was Midoryia who asked the question. Y/n, Shoto, and Koda stopped dead in their tracks at the mention of her name. Shoto and Koda looked at Y/n with a worried expression. For her own good, she probably shouldn’t be listening, but she couldn’t help but be curious of her classmates’ plan in regards to her.

“It’s not that we don’t want her there. It’s just that, who is up for asking her?”

Silence. No one responded to the question.

Koda notices how Y/n’s grip on the textbooks tightened. Shoto noticed how your head was now titled downward, hiding your face.

“She’s just so intimidating. And not to mention that training exercise we did when we first met her. She’s sort of scary, to be honest.”

“Scary. You’re scary, Y/n. Terrifying.” She couldn’t help but repeat her classmates’ thought of her. She was just torturing herself at this point. No point in dwelling on first impressions, but as this is affecting her current relationship, or lack thereof, with her classmates, she couldn’t help it.

“Y/n-” Todoroki tries to interject before Y/n gets the wrong idea.

But, it’s too late.

“No, it’s fine. Thanks for the offer though, Todoroki.” Y/n’s words were slow. As much as her brain was going a million miles per hour, her mouth was evidently slower as her breathing was heavier.

She wanted to disappear, or at least get swallowed by the ground. She kept her head down as she strode into the classroom. Her classmates being oblivious to Y/n’s knowledge of what they truly think of her, paying no attention to her.

Shoto was basically frozen in place, next to the door, but he gained composure and walked in the class as well, a couple seconds after. Y/n quickly placed her books on the front desk where Present Mic sat behind of, she sat back in her seat that was in the back of the class.

Y/n watched how Shoto was still standing in front of the classroom as he was stopped by his classmates. Now, they were just chatting, probably talking about the upcoming movie night.

Y/n felt jealousy bubble up inside her. She wished she can chat like how Shoto was effortlessly talking away to his classmates. Or how Midoryia stopped him with such ease to talk about a social event.

Y/n yearned for some friendly interaction. That’s what she wanted when coming to UA.

She wanted to be normal. As normal as she could be. A normal teenager.

“Things don’t always go according to plan, huh?” Y/n pouted and placed her head on her desk and just waited patiently till the school day was over.

Koda worriedly looked at Y/n. “She’s going to want to train after this. And I bet she’s going to push herself harder because of today.” Koda knew Y/n very well. Knew her like the back of his hand, well, paw.

And, Koda was right. Y/n was in gym gamma, completely exhausted. Sweat covered her body as her muscles were screaming at her take a break. Her labored breathe continued as her body was trying its best to keep up.

Y/n was frustrated. “Why? Why am I like this?” she kept repeating like a mantra.

“I want to be normal. Why can’t I be like them?”

“Why?”

“You’re a monster. It’s actually quite simple.”

Y/n threw a punch with her fist encased in water, and it wasn’t until after that punch was thrown, she realized that there was now an evident hole in the thick, solid concrete wall.

Y/n fell to her knees. Koda hurriedly made his way to her, making sure she didn’t do anything too stupid. Once Koda was close, she was doing something unexpected.

She was crying.

Hot streams, cascading down her face. She started to hiccup, her breathing erratic. “A-am I scary to you, Koda?” her voice was so small.

Koda nudged his way in between her legs and nestled his head into her neck. Y/n, full on sobbing now, wraps her arms around Koda and her cries are muffled by his fur. Wailing and self-deprecating questions can be faintly heard from her if anyone were to enter the gym.

A couple minutes passed. Y/n’a breathing returned to a calm rhythm.

“Thanks, Koda. I needed that,” Y/n sniffles, “C’mon let’s go make dinner, I’ll whip you up something special for putting up with me today.” Koda’s tail immediately began to wag at the thought of Y/n’s cooking.

Y/n was an independent person. She likes doing things on her own as much as can. She doesn’t eat the food from the school cafeteria, instead, she opts for making her and Koda’s meals from the kitchen that is provided to them in their dormitory. And indeed, she made a delicious dinner for both of them.

Now, the hard part. Because of how long her training took, showering, and making dinner, Y/n knew that her classmates were in the common space already, probably preparing to have their movie night. And, she had to pass them. It was a short distance, short walk, Y/n was trying to reassure herself. Just walk straight towards to the elevator and you’re safe.

Y/n takes a deep breathe and walks out of the kitchen. The chatter of her classmates emerges to her ears, but as she walks towards the elevator, the chatter dies down.

“Oh no.” Y/n’s eyes widened in fear. “Way to go on ruining the mood, Y/n.”

Thankfully, the elevator was quick and the doors slide open, making an easy escape for Y/n and Koda. She let out a breathe she didn’t even realize she was holding in as the doors slid shut. Y/n looks at Koda, who was already looking at her, “It’s better this way, anyway” Y/n didn’t know if she was telling Koda that, or herself.

On the other side of the elevator’s doors, her classmates collectively let out a sigh, “Well that was another chance we wasted.” Kaminari was the first to break the awkward silence.

“Tch. Like any of you have the guts to actually ask her.” Bakugo chimed in.

“Oh please, Bakugo, I know she intimidates you, too.” Mina fired back.

“Whatever.”

“She heard you guys.” Todoroki suddenly talked. Everyone casted their attention to him, “Earlier today, I mean. She heard you guys when you were talking about inviting her to movie night.”

The once light-hearted atmosphere in the room was now tilted with guilt.

“She heard all that?” Midoryia incredulously asked, only imagining what you would be feeling because of their words.

“She must feel terrible.” Ochaco openly voiced her thoughts.

“She probably hates us.” Kirishima adds in.

“She means well, I promise. I think we just need to give her a chance.” Todoroki tries to reason with his classmates.

“First, we need to apologize.” Midoryia proposes as he looks among his classmates. His classmates collectively nod their heads in agreement

“You’re right. Well, good luck Midoryia.” Kaminari pats his back as encouragement. Everyone else either gives an encouraging smile or a thumbs up.

“Ha?! What?! You guys already decided that I’m going to be the one to apologize?” Izuku was flailing his arm around and was checking everyone else’s reaction.

“Well, yes. It’s your idea and you are one of the most apologetic people here.” Iida explained to an overthinking Midoryia.

After regaining composure, he realized that this was probably the best option, “Okay, I’ll, I’ll go now.”

Midoryia makes his way to Y/n’s dorm room. He was nervous. He only had very limited interactions with Y/n. So, he really didn’t know what to expect. Before he knew it, he was before your door.

On the other side, Y/n was chowing down on her food. She took a swig of her water, “So, how’s the food? I tried a new technique on roasting the veggies.” Y/n babbled on for a bit, but she realized that Koda’s plate was hardly touched. Her gaze landed on Koda who was sitting on her bed with a very obvious frown, staring at the door. Y/n immediately knew why.

“Hey, if you wanna go hangout with them, I can push the buttons on the elevator for you-”

Koda was irritated at how difficult Y/n was being, she can just ask them if she can join. It was simple. Koda used his mouth to latch on to Y/n’s sleeve and started to drag her to her dorm’s door.

“H-hey Koda! Not cool, man! You know, I can’t go down there.” Y/n tugs her sleeve away from Koda.

Koda turned to his last resort. He did his signature pout.

“Oh, please. You know that stopped working on me awhile ago. Besides, we can have our own movie night, right?” Y/n tried to reason, but her reasoning just felt sad.

Before Y/n could step away from her dorm’s door, she heard a knock. The two quickly tuned their heads at the door as if something miraculous just happened.

Y/n took one step toward the door.

“It’s Midoryia.” Koda began to wag his tail, “don’t get your hopes up too quickly.”

Y/n opened the door only a slit for her head to poke out, “Oh, hi Midoryia. Is something wrong?” she asks.

“U-um, no nothings wrong.” he responds as nerves start to take over and he doesn’t continue on.

“Okay.” With that, Y/n closed her door. Koda wanted to scratch his eyes out. This was her chance! For someone who was the top student in her class, she was so stupid. “He didn’t want anything. Sorry to disappoint, Koda-” another knock interrupted her.

She looked at the door, “It’s still Midoryia.” Koda rolled his eyes.

Y/n went to to open the door, again, only opening a bit, “Yes, Midoryia? You sure something isn’t wrong?”

“Uh, well I was wondering if we can talk for a bit.”

“Oh, yeah sure.” Y/n stepped out of her door, and shutting it.

However, Koda was right on her trail, but was shut out by the now closed door. He pouts at the door. And how holds his ear to the door, interested in the conversation that has yet to come.

“So, what’s up?” Y/n asked the green-haired boy.

“I, we, as a class, wanted to apologize for our words today.” Midoryia spoke in a remorseful and quiet tone.

Y/n was taken back. “So, they know that I heard what they were saying? Must have been Todoroki’s doing.”

“Look, it’s fine. I know I’m intimidating-“

“But it’s not fine. We shouldn’t have treated or talked about you that way.”

Y/n was stunned at his words. He took that as a sign to continue, “and we were hoping, if you’d be okay if we start over and become friends.”

Y/n remained cautious with her walls, “You know, friendship isn’t really a perquisite for this course.”

“Of course, I know that. We all do, but it doesn’t hurt to have them, right?”

Y/n felt like tearing up. She wanted to believe him. She wanted to put her trust in that last statement of his.

“I’ll be be down in 5 minutes,” Y/n stated rather blandly, but it didn’t matter to Midoryia.

“Great! See ya!” He waved and started to head back to the elevator, before he pressed the button, Y/n called him once more,

“Midoryia?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“No problem.” and nods his head. He couldn’t be more thrilled that this will all work out.

As for Y/n, she opened her door to her dorm, and closing it as she stepped inside.

As soon as she was in the comfort of her own room, she broke into her happy dance. Her fists clenched, eyes shut, shoulders scrunched, jumping in the air, squeals make their way pass her lips, with the biggest smile on her face

Koda felt a wave of relief of wash over him. He was glad that she was finally experiencing acceptance.

After the moment passes, Y/n sighs and looks at Koda, ruffling his fur on the top of his head.

“Well, shall we?” Y/n said in an extravagant manner as she opened her door and bowed.

Koda, playing along, held his head high and strutted out. Y/n let out a light-hearted laugh and they made their way down, together.

Once Y/n actually made it to the common room, all of her classmates were looking at her, stopping their conversations as well. The confidence that Y/n help was long gone, feeling now awkward yet again.

However, the silence didn’t last too long as the class enveloped her in boisterous apologies, hugs, and pats on the back.

To say Y/n was overwhelmed was understatement. She had never been around these many people, giving attention towards her. It was new territory she had yet to cross.

“Guys, you should probably let her breathe.”

That was Todoroki. Y/n pried her eyes away from Mina who was asking what conditioner she uses, and looked at Shoto. Y/n mouthed a “thank you” and he simply nodded.

The class went back to their seats, muttering apologies again for getting in her personal space.

Now, Y/n faced yet another problem:

Where is she going to sit?!

She kept standing where she stood for a good couple seconds, scanning the area for any good spots.

However, there was actually only one spot open. And, it just happen to be next to Todoroki.

Y/n mentally prepared herself and started her path towards him. Of course, Shoto knew this. He was the one who made sure he saved a seat right next to him just for this occasion.

But things don’t always go according to plan, right?

Rightly so, right before Y/n could take the unaccompanied seat, Denki was coming back from the kitchen with a bowl of popcorn, plopping right down on the seat.

“Oh, hey Y/n! I’m glad you made it! You want some popcorn?”

“No, I’m good, thanks though.” Y/n was able to play it off as she chose to sit on the floor in front of the couch, which coincidentally was in front of the seat that Shoto resided.

Shoto was irritated. He wanted you to sit next to him. For crying out loud, that was the whole reason he had this seat open in the first place. All he does is sigh, catching Y/n’s attention.

Y/n turns back to Todoroki, sending a small smile his way, but then turning back to the screen as her fellow classmates were arguing on what to watch.

Y/n put her hand to her chest. This is weird. Why is her heart rate so high? She’s not usually like this. Maybe Todoroki did cast a spell on her.

Y/n couldn’t think about it too much as the movie began playing.

#bnha shoto #todoroki shoto #shoto todoroki x reader #midoriya izuku #mha x you #mha x reader #shoto todoroki x y/n #mha angst #bnha imagines

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everyhowlmarksthedead · 4 years

Text

❛ THE PROPOSITION ❜

with Angel Reyes.

Chapter Three, final. Index.

Request #1: Hola! Angel asking for Felipe to have Marisol's ring cause he went to propose to his girlfriend. But Felipe says No cause he thinks EZ deserve its more. ( And cause WE know he love EZ more ) So Angel is like " Fuck this shit" And either is breaks in Felipe house to steal this ring Or Either he go brought the biggest and perfect ring ! 🤩

BY ANON

Request #2: Hey! Angel do something very impressive for his girlfriend ( like big and impressive asking for marriage or Travel 5 states just for see her) and this ending by Felipe being very impressive by his Sons and take conscience he is a bad dad for Angel. 🙏❤️🤟🤟

BY ANON

Warnings: none.

Word count: about 3k

Aurora says: this writing hasn't been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I'm sorry about that!

Gif credits: @pantherclawz

Masterlist.

Almost one week without hearing his voice. Receiving one or two text messages per day, just to tell you that he's tired or that he's working. You know he is hiding something, confirming your suspicion when EZ began to decline all your calls. And, when you talked with Felipe three days ago, the only thing he told you was that he didn't know anything about his kids. So you started to think the worst. At first you thought that maybe Angel had an accident and his brother was trying to cover him, but when you called Bishop this morning, you heard your boyfriend's voice saying that he was ‘going to pick up the girl’. And now, you don't know what to think.

Licking your lips, sitting in the back garden of the house, you play with your phone between your fingers. It's almost midnight and it's a little cold outside, wearing nothing but an Angel's shirt. You decide to call him again, but it's his voicemail who answers again, even if you shouldn't be doing it after drinking too many beers, while your friends are sleeping and resting for the last seminar the next morning. But you wait for the last tone.

“Hey, it's me… your girlfriend, remember? I've been calling you… I don' know, maybe the fucking whole day. Where the fuck are you, Angel? And don't you fucking dare to tell me that you were working, 'cause I heard you this morning talking about some bitch to pick up. But fo' say something, first you have to answer the fucking phone!”

Sounds pathetic the way you are talking to him, saying all the things that you wouldn't say to him being sober. Hiccuping, you find yourself crying unconsolable, with an agonic pain oppressing your chest and squeezing your heart.

“Just… two fucking weeks, Angel! You couldn' keep your fucking dick inside your pants, for two fucking weeks! Is that the… shit I mean to you? Two years thrown overboard because of what? How many times have you done it, ah? All these… shit about not calling during a run… were you doing the same shit, Angel? How many fucking times has you betrayed me?!”

You can't help but laugh bitterly, cleaning your tears with the back of your hand, trying to calm yourself and to not wake up anyone.

“I fucking love you… with all my heart. I didn' complain about anything, never…” Although your voice sounds low and a little bit calmed, inside you there's a storm devastating you. “I put you first, always, since the first moment I met you… I can't fucking believe you're gonna lea—leave me and… the way you're doing it… I thought you were different, but I guess I was wrong”.

Hardly sniffing, you close your eyes letting go everything inside your chest, before finishing the message. Curling up your legs to surround them with both arms, you rest your chin over your knees. You can't avoid thinking about all those times he has promised you a future together, living in a big house and having children. Or about all those times he has been crying clinged to you, talking about how his father has been always putting him apart. You have cared about him more than anyone in his life. You have given him all. Without asking anything back, more than loyalty. And you wouldn't even have to ask for it.

Even so, you're starting to regret all the things you have said, without knowing if it's true or not. But how are you going to find it out, if anyone says nothing?

“Oh, shit… Oh, shit, shit, shit…” Angel is sitting on top of his bike, with a hand holding his phone and the other rubbing the bridge of his nose.

His brothers are looking at all the gestures that he's drawing unconsciously on his face. Rage, sadness, incredulous… When the message ends, he lies down over the handerball, softly hitting his head against it. He tries to call you, but your phone is practically dead, off of battery. Bishop walks towards him, having a sip from his beer.

“All good, Angel?”

“She thinks I'm fucking cheating her, because he heard me say about picking up Leti, this morning”. Stepping out from his motorcycle, he looks for Tori's number, hoping she answers the call.

Walking around the parking like a locked lion in the zoo, he's starting to think about driving right now to Los Angeles.

“The hell is wrong with you, shithead?” The female voice sounds tired, being interrupted by a long yawn.

“Tori, listen. Find (Y/N). She's drunk, thinking I'm cheating on her”.

“Yeah, 'cause you have been ignoring her ass”.

“I've been workin—”.

“Nah, c'mon, Angel. Tell these tales to someone wh—”.

“I was working to buy a wedding ring”.

Silence. Tori suddenly sits up on her bed, turning on the lights and waking up Sarah. The girl who was sleeping peacefully, now is being woken up by shaking her left arm. Having some growls as response, she looks at her girlfriend frowning, while she hears Angel's voice through the speaker.

“Just listen, please. Calm her down, okay? 'Am coming tomorrow to LA. I already talked to your boss and I can't tell you anything else. Just… calm her down, please”.

“Okay, we got this, Angel”.

Hanging up the call, both girls jump off from the bed, walking towards your room. Empty. But following your crying, they stick out their heads by the window, finding you in the garden. This hurts them too. They were with you the night you met Angel, and they also love him a lot. They know how much he cares about you and even if Sarah and Tori couldn't believe that he was with another girl, it wasn't normal his way to act the last days. But now, everything has sense, and they are pretty excited to see him tomorrow and discover what he has been preparing for the proposition.

Going downstairs and trying to hide their happiness, your friends sit by each side to hug you. A collective hug to make you feel somewhat better, but you can't stop crying.

“Baby… what's up?” Tori asks, caressing gently your hair.

“This… fucking bastard… I fucking gave him all, the best of me!”

“You talkin' 'bout Angel? C'mon, (Y/N)! He told you he made the most of his time to work a little more, and not miss you. Two weeks is too much time for you both”.

“I heard him talking about another girl”.

“So, what? Since when he can't have friends, ah? I have slept with him at his house… hundred times, and that doesn't mean that I cheated Tori, or he cheated you. And believe me, your boyfriend is a fantasy even for me”. Sarah says, making you chuckle in some way. “I'm sure he has been working hard, as you do when he is traveling. So, don't think any bullshit about Angel. He loves you more than anything, okay?”

“Let's go to bed, okay, honey? We have to be awake in five hours for a long, long, long seminar. Lucky it's the last one”. Tori says standing up on her feet, helping you to get up from the grass.

Angel comes into the clubhouse with an excited smile on his lips, like a child on Christmas Day, rubbing his hands and clapping happily calling everybody's attention.

“You got it, hermano?”

He nods energetically, walking fast to the main round table, where the oldest were waiting for him to come back from the jewelers. The Reyes tucks a hand inside his pocket in complete silence, putting over the wood a small red velvet box. Between his fingers, he supports the bottom part to open the top, showing the ring for what he has been working too hard the last two weeks; without sleeping, without resting, without a drop of alcohol, without partying. Nothing. Just working hard. The fine gold ring is perfectly resting inside a small gap, showing only the top of it. A king's crown with a diamond in it, that shines so easily with natural light that could illuminate a whole room. The crew is looking at it fascinated. And yes, the ring couldn't be perfect, but it's the feeling of pride for Angel that makes them smile.

“Fuck, brother… If she doesn' want to marry you, I will”. Creeper is captivated by the jewel, with his eyes fixed on.

“Why the fuck she wouldn't want to marry me, dumbshit?”

“Ignore him, carnal”. Coco palms his back, resting his arm on a shoulder.

“So, what you say, ah?” He asks, anxious to hear Bishop, Tranq and Taza's opinion. Without them, it couldn't be possible.

“Fuck, man, I would marry you too if you propose me with this ring”. Che is the first one, taking the step to grab the small box and have a closed look from it.

“You did a good job, Angel. You deserve it”. Tranq just says with both arms on the table.

“Prez?”

Bishop keeps looking at the box, seeming thoughtful, slowly raising his eyes to the others after some seconds in silence.

“I think you are doing the right thing for the first time since I know you. That girl deserves a man like you, Angel. And I know she is not the kind of woman who would care about the ring, but you found the perfect one”.

Your boyfriend can't feel more proud. It would be impossible.

“Go change your clothes, you have four hours of road ahead”. El Presidente places a hand on Angel's nape with a soft narrow over it.

He just nods, keeping again the box inside a pocket to get up and leave the place to his dorm, where he has been sleeping the last two weeks. The black jeans and the white shirt are perfectly stretched over his bed. The Reyes hurries up to have a shower, not wasting a second more, brushing and doing his hair with trembling fingers. He hasn't known anything about you since he talked with Tori and Sarah some hours ago, hoping that they finally calmed you down and got you rid of those ideas about him cheating you. When he's already dressed, sitting on the edge of the mattress to put on his boots, Angel grabs the black bomber jacket trespassing the box from a piece of clothing to the other, zipping the pocket to not lose it.

Coming back to the main room of the clubhouse, his brothers receive him between whistles and cheers.

“Man, you smell good”. Coco says coming too close.

“Ah, ah. Take care, brother. Don't want you to stain my fresh clothes”. He says taking a step back.

“My apologies, your grace”. He chuckles.

“Bishop?”

“Templo”. Taza says having a sip from a coffee.

Checking the hour on his phone, assuring himself that he has enough time, the Reyes leads his steps to the meeting-room, closing the glass colorful door behind him.

“Already leaving?”

“Yeah, prez, I just… want to thank you for giving me the three k left. I will continue working to gi—”.

“Take it as a wedding gift”. The mexican stops him with his own words, shaking his head and making a light gesture with a hand.

“I couldn't do it without you, Tranq and Taza”.

“I heard what you told to your brother. In the office”. He says then, lying back on his chair. “I am not going to… give you my opinion about your father, but he shouldn't behave like that, Angel”.

“I know, Bishop. And… I would thank you for not telling anything about it to (Y/N). She loves my pops”.

“That honors you”.

“Don't know, but I don't wanna be like him”.

El Presidente simply nods.

“Bring back Mrs. Reyes”.

Your head hurts like hell, having to use your glasses because of the blurry gaze you have got by the hangover. The seminar is turning out eternal. The last thing you care about right now is how to operate with an open heart, you have already done it and you could skip this part. But it's for compulsory attendance. So there you are, drawing nothing on your iPad as if you were taking notes, fighting against the pain, the tiredness and the uncertainty about Angel. He continues not answering your text or calls, and you can't help but think about what Sarah told you last night.

“... you for coming, and I hope that these two weeks have been productive for your learning”.

The claps flood the conference room, while the other doctors begin to pick up their stuff and finally leave the place. You can't believe that it's already done and that you're allowed to come back home, checking again your muttered phone expecting to find something. But the notifications bar is empty.

“Ladies and gentlemen, if you don't mind, I'm going to steal you a couple minutes. Sit back, please”. The voice of your boss through the speakers makes you raise an eyebrow.

“The desire to be noticed by that man fucks me up”. Tori chuckles with a low tone, sitting again over her seat.

“I know that we all are tired, but it's just going to be a couple minutes, I promise. I just want to help a friend”.

“No…” Sarah looks at her girlfriend really surprised, making you frown confused.

“Girls, the fuck you did?”

“You just… enjoy the show, my dear”.

You can see your boss making a gesture to someone by a side of the stage, to come closer. But when your eyes find Angel walking over it, your blood freezes and your heart stops. Lucky you're between almost more than two hundred doctors and surgeons. Leo gives up the micro to your boyfriend, looking for you. And obviously, your two friends start to yell like crazy to call his attention.

“Hey, ahm… You don't know me and I don't know you, but… I'm Angel. Dr. (Y/L/N)'s boyfriend and I came to… give her an important message”. He says with a nervous tone, before smirking at you, clearing his throat. “Hey, baby, can you… can you come here, please?”

“Go”. Your friends push you to get up, but your legs feel like butter about to fall downstairs.

As soon as he's able to hug you, he does, not caring about the claps from the people in front of you.

“Okay, okay, listen”. Holding one of your hands and pulling himself away, he laughs a little bit nervous for a second. “We met two years ago, in the middle of nowhere. I was fuc— sorry. I was hurt because of a fight. And you fixed up my wounds with so much love, patience and care, that I fell for you”.

“Angel…”

“Sh, listen. I think I'm going to have a heart attack, so let me talk before falter to the floor. Listen, you have been my best friend, my anchor, my reason to live since then. I love you more than I could ever love anyone... I can't live without you, baby. And before you say anything else like last night, no. I didn't try and I'm not going to do it, because I'm lost without you, (Y/N). So, ahm… Hey, boss, can you hold the mic'?” Turning to Leo, the man takes it back.

You're trembling, looking at your friends for a moment trying to find an explanation. But when your gaze is again on your boyfriend, he's already kneeling with a hand inside a pocket grabbing something. A small red box. And you can't believe what's happening. Taking a step back and covering your face with both hands, you start to cry like a child, with your pulse racing under your skin.

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N), would you marry me?”

The crew is waiting anxiously at the porch, after not receiving any news back from LA. But they all get up from their seats on the sofas and the stairs, when they hear Coco's car being driven by Angel coming closer. As soon as he parks it close to the bikes, not finding you on the passenger seat and looking at the devastated gesture on his face, they know that the proposition wasn't as they were expecting. Stepping out of the car, he just shrugs his shoulders.

“Hey, carnal, it's okay. She will reconsider it”. Coco says hugging his friend, trying to comfort him.

“She will say yes, Angel, don't give up”. Bishop palms softly his nape.

And you are drowning in laughs hidden on the floor of the back seats. Looking slightly through the window, you find the crew very affected because supposedly you said ‘no’. Taking some air, you jump out of the car yelling with a huge smile on your lips.

“Surprise, madafakas!”

“Jesus fucking Christ! I'm too old for these frights!” Taza shouts at you back, indignant with a hand on his chest barely breathing.

“I'm confused”. Gilly says from nowhere.

“What? Doesn't sound good Mrs. Reyes for you?” Walking towards them, raising the hand with the amazing ring, they all look surprised.

“I'm going to fucking shoot you, Angel”. Bishop threats him, before leading his steps to yours. “Welcome home, querida”.

“Thank you”. Hugging him, you rest your head against his chest. “Angel told me you help him”.

“It was nothing, kid”. Clicking his tongue and pulling himself away, he caresses your cheek for a second.

“Yo! Mami! You look stunning now that you're engaged”. Coco lifts you up between his arms, narrowing you under his grip.

“Yeah, you see?!”

“Hey, hey, social distancing”. Your future husband takes you off from his friend's hands, to hold you closer with an arm surrounding your neck.

“Look at you, Mr. and Mrs. Reyes”. Creeper says very proud, nodding in accordance.

“Let's celebrate it that you didn' kick my ass, mi dulce”.

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that-good-trash · 4 years

Text

I’m Not Okay- Chapter 5. The final chapter Midoriya x reader/ Bakugou x reader

Izuku Midoriya x reader/ Katsuki Bakugou x reader

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Summary: You have struggled with mental health your whole life so why can’t you seem to get it under control. Will you be able to keep the same mask even though two of your classmates have seen under it?

Warnings: Depression, Mentions of suicide/ Attempt at suicide, Self-harm, Angst, Anxiety,

Word count: 8,582

Comment: Omg this is finally the end! I’m so sad, its bittersweet:’( . I’m sorry that its so long I decided to add both boys endings in the same chapter, I also apologize for any grammar mistakes and if any of it seems rushed. Thank all of you for reading this series and I hope to start another one soon. [I am working on the second part too my Dabi fic]. Thank everyone who has been here from the beginning and any new readers. You all make this fun and enjoyable.

you matter and any issues you have are valid!

After you were taken to the hospital everyone wanted to hear what would happen to you. Classmates surrounded and bombarded Bakugou and Midoriya as they were escorted back into the dorm building. Mr. Aizawa couldn’t stay to watch the students since he had to go deal with the aftermath of your attempt. There were legal and security issues with how easy it was for you to have jumped off the school building. The students were supposed to be in bed but how could they go to bed when you were laying in a hospital bed alone after feeling so desperate for a way out that you jumped off a building. They had many questions, concerns, and comments about how they didn’t know this had been happening with you.

Midoriya rubbed the back of his neck, exhaustion evident in his eyes. Bakugou growled and shoved passed the ‘annoying extras’, trying to get to the elevator. He wasn’t blaming any of them and yet when he looked at them, he couldn’t help but think they should have tried harder. Had you heard his thoughts you would have slapped him across the back of his head. Midoriya smiled sadly at his friends while following after Bakugou to the elevator. “Sorry guys, it’s late and I’m tired.”

He wished he had all the answers to give but he didn’t. You weren’t necessarily talkative about your issues so he really didn’t know much of what was going on with you. He just knew he wanted to be there for you. Even before this he had always watched you with gleaming eyes, you were a beacon of strength and hope to him. Bakugou would never admit to sharing things in common with his childhood friend but he did. He also would find himself watching you, how hard you pushed yourself. He would watch you train later than everyone else, your clothing covered in sweat and legs throbbing. He had caught that broken look in your eyes a few times wondering where it could be coming from. You would always roll your eye at his asshole comments and demands. You weren’t afraid to stand up to him, you’d even beat him once during a sparring match. You were strong to him and he couldn’t help but wonder how someone so strong crumbles so fast. He wasn’t a stranger to anxiety and guilt, just like Midoriya wasn’t a stranger to regret and depression. They both had some kind of idea, a sliver, of what pain you might be going through. Truly it was tragic to know that you had been dealing with this longer than it seemed to outwardly manifest itself to them. Battling bad guys was one thing, fighting internal demons was worse because you couldn’t ask for help or call for back up. It was you against the girl in the mirror, against the whispers in your ears.

“Is she gonna be okay?” Uraraka was the one who spoke, having made her way to the front of the crowd. Midoriya couldn’t help looking at her with slight disappointment. He didn’t blame her but he did feel like she was in the wrong for what she had done. Bakugou on the other hand didn’t find Uraraka innocent. He hadn’t been able to confront her due to having to find and help you. Bakugou let the elevator open his fist clenching at his sides. Midoriya walked into the elevator turning toward Bakugou with a raised brow. He was confused before his eyes widened in realization. He rushed forward as Bakugou’s hand ignited. He turned and thrust his open palm directly at the gravity girl. “KACCHAN DON’T!”

Everyone who wasn’t frozen from shock rushed to try and stop the attack. Uraraka closed her eyes and waited for the hit. It never happened. No one had to stop him because he stopped himself. He scoffed looking at her with distain as he shoved his hands into his dirty tattered pockets.

“You aren’t even worth it.” Bakugou walked into the still open elevator door his shoulder brushing a confused but relieved Midoriya. He stepped back into the elevator looking at Bakugou who was burning holes into the ground. He looked up as the door started closing. “I blame you, she doesn’t.”

Simple words with such strength and meaning behind them. They were meant to replace his fist, to leave her having to suffer internally like you had been doing for most of your life.

The chatter commenced once again between the classmates; two different hands squeezed Uraraka’s shoulder. She didn’t think she deserved comfort right now and a few different people would agree with her. Though she knew that Bakugou was right. No matter who looked at her like she was a villain, you’d forgive her. You’d never blame her, just smile and say it was your own fault. The truth was honestly more heartbreaking and Uraraka wished she hadn’t said or did what she had. While she stood in regretful silence, your two saviors were standing in the elevator. It was quiet, other than the dull hum it gave. Midoriya walked out when it stopped at his floor.

“Night Kacchan.” He had spoken so lightly that Bakugou almost didn’t catch it. Midoriya didn’t look back or wait for a reply, he just walked away. Bakugou grabbed the door forcing it to reopen. “HEY, nerd.”

Midoriya slowly turned back toward Bakugou, both their eyes were bloodshot and held weariness. He expected to be told off since that’s how these things usually go.

“We saved her. We’re fucking heroes, right? So why does it feel like we didn’t do shit. Why does it feel like she’s still on that roof? I’m so fucking tired and yet I don’t want to sleep because she is laying is some fucking hospital unconscious because she jumped off a building. Why, why couldn’t she just reply on us.” Midoriya recognized the breaking in Bakugou’s voice. Except this time, he felt something similar. He too felt like you weren’t safe, like you’d just do it again when you found out that you hadn’t succeeded. He closed his eyes wondering what you felt alone on that rooftop. Had you waited for someone to save you? He had been in a similar situation back in middle school. He could hear everyone’s discouraging words, and Bakugou’s ‘suggestion’ play in his head. He could feel the cold breeze that he felt like he was back to the day he stood on a rooftop wondering if he could be a hero in his next life. He didn’t do it for so many reasons, the main one being his will to live. He wanted to live, he had some much yearning to show the world that he could do it, he could be a hero. He had something that you lacked. Midoriya opened his eyes and looked directly into the crimson orbs across the hallway. “We didn’t save her, we caught her. She probably didn’t want to inconvenience us. She thinks she’s the problem so of course she didn’t want to burden us. We wont ever know how she feels, all we can do is hope she still wants us involved in her life. We can only hope she wants to try living it again.”

Bakugou stared at Midoriya, really stared. He knew exactly what the boy had been thinking about when his eyes were closed. Bakugou had thought briefly about it as well. He thought Midoriya was thinking about when he had told the green haired boy to basically kill himself. He had no clue about the attempt. He felt a pang of regret again, as he grew, he thought a lot about how shitty he had been in the past. Hell, he couldn’t completely hate Uraraka because he had been in her situation to an extent. Bakugou couldn’t imagine how his life would have gone had Midoriya had jumped. Now he had to face the past along with the present to try and make a plan for the future, your future.

“I’m gonna protect her.” Bakugou’s declaration caused Midoriya to smile. He nodded his head lifting up his fist with determination in his own eyes. “That makes two of us.”

Bakugou would have usually snapped at the forest haired boy from copying him but he didn’t. Instead he returned Midoriya’s smile with a smirk. He let the door close heading up to his own room. Midoriya walked into his dark dorm room. He sighed against the door before sliding down it letting everything hit him. Tears rushed down his cheeks, this hurt more than any broken bone. He couldn’t get the image of you hurdling toward the ground out of his head. He covered his face with his arms before burying it into his pulled-up knees. His sobs were silent, and he suffered the way he imagined you had. He tried to picture the happy you. The one with fire in her eyes, the one that always got back up no matter what knocked her down. He wanted your eyes to be red from laughing yourself to tears, he wanted you to be tired from training and not from thinking your existence was exhausting. He wanted to tell you that he loved you and that he’d be there through this, but he can’t tell you that now. You needed to rest and so did he, if only his mind would let him.

Elsewhere, Bakugou was experiencing his own breakdown. He slammed his fist into the dorm door not caring if he breaks it. His knuckles bleed from the abuse. He doesn’t care, instead he punches it again and again until blood flows rapidly, down his hand and onto the floor. “Fuck.” Bakugou grabs a towel and throws it on top the blood staining the carpet. He stomps on it before giving up and laying on his bed. He sees the blood on his knuckles and thinks back to the dry blood on your arm from cutting into before fleeing the building. He hadn’t seen your self-mutilation himself but thinking about it made him sick. He sat up dry heaving into his trash can. How could he have been so stupid? Why the hell hadn’t he invited you that night to play video games? He knew exactly why, because he had seen how excited you had been all day. He was hoping this was what you needed to finally break your isolation. He was rooting for you and in doing so fucked up. He blamed himself for not making you hang out with him instead, which sounded selfish in a way but he meant well. Bakugou wipes the saliva from his lip before looking at his phone. He unlocks it and stares at the picture he has as his background. It has Kaminari and Sero laughing in the background with Mina poking Kirishima’s cheek. The main focus of the photo is you hugging him while he looks pissed as hell. The photo was taken by Momo who he had to ‘threaten’ to delete it, only after sending him a copy. He would never admit it out loud but he loved you. He loved the way you fought back against bullies, how you snapped back when he was an asshole. He enjoyed the far off look you’d get during class, the way you looked out the window with the slightest smile. He could listen to your laugh for hours. He was so fucked. How could he be thinking about loving you when you hated yourself. He just wished you could be happy, could understand how much you mattered not just to him. Bakugou drops his phone onto his side table before falling backward. His head crashes onto his pillows. You were alone right now, or maybe you weren’t. Hopefully your parents were with you, or maybe Mr. Aizawa went to make sure you would be okay. He wished he could have gone with you, that he could comfort you when you wake up. He wanted nothing more than to destroy all your problems and give you some of his strength while you tried to regain your own. Except he knew you were strong; it took strength to jump off a building.

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The loveliest dream played behind closed eye lids. You were completely unaware of what was going on outside of your brain’s illusions. Unfortunately for you all dreams come to an end and you have to face reality. You were delirious when your dreams melted away and bright light filled your vision. Beeping invaded your ear drums. It smelled like sterilizer. You rubbed your eyes trying to fix your vision. When things were no longer blurry you found yourself looking around a hospital room. Your clothing was folded neatly on a chair along with a few bags and a blanket. Someone had been siting in the chair. There was a chart on the door which was closed. The window was dark and the light that was on only lit up parts of the room. You took in your surroundings feeling your heart race and chest cave in as your lungs failed you. The room was closing in on you as you curling in on yourself. You tugged the heart rate monitor when you wrapped your arms around your knees. Sobs came out with uneven breathes. You were having a panic attack. The door opened and a nurse peaked inside, your monitor was loudly beeping informing medical staff your heart rate spiked. The nurse walked over to the bed worry across her face as she gently put a hand on your shoulder.

“Honey are you okay? Are you in pain? Let me call the doctor.” Before she could leave your side, you spoke through broken hiccups.

“I failed.” The words were tragic really. The nurse knew why you had been there and hearing your words made her realize why you were crying. Regret, but not because you had done it, because you had failed at dying. The nurse covered her mouth as her own tears start falling down. You looked up at her with confusion. Why was she crying. You tried to steady your breathing, before moving your hand over her own. She looked up and saw the concern and care in your eyes. “What’s wrong? Why are you crying? Did I upset you.”

She stared at you like you had grown another head; how could you push away your own suffering to make sure she was okay. A slight laugh escaped her as she gently moved some stray hair away from your eyes.

“You really do have the heart of a hero.” She rubbed your shoulder watching you bite your bottom lip to try and prevent more crying. It didn’t work, you collapsed in a fit of sobs again. You wrapped your arms around your middle begging for this to not be real. Maybe this was your own personal hell. You weren’t a hero; this lady was delusional. She needed to get away from you before you ruined her life as well. You didn’t pay any attention to her getting up. She left the room cautiously. You looked around trying to find anything that could ground you. The only thing you keep thinking about is dying and how it was impossible that you hadn’t. What does this mean? What do you do now? How could you have fucked up this bad? You activate your quirk in the hopes to hurt yourself, one last attempt before the restraint jacket and padded room. Your fingers go to push into your wrist but there is no sting or pain, no blades just skin. You quickly look up knowing exactly what happened, Mr. Aizawa. You felt exposed, like you were nude or had all your dirty laundry in full view. Here was someone you respected, looked up to, having to use his quirk against you. You were like a villain. You couldn’t decipher his look do to his dry eyes. You dug your weaponless fingers into your sides curling into yourself again while crying. Warm rushes of tears crashed down your cheeks and onto the hospital gown. You didn’t care that he was watching you, at this point you were nothing but a bother to him. He didn’t think that, he would never think that about any of his students. Mr. Aizawa blinked stopping his quirk. His hair returned to its place against his scarf around his shoulders. He looked tired but not as tired as you. He would never wish that kind of exhaustion and mental trauma on anyone, especially not a child, which you were. He approached with caution, not like you were a savage animal, more like you were a scared injured one. He slowly squatted down next to your bed looking at the dark circles around your eyes and red across your nose and cheeks. He went to catch a tear but stopped with wide eyes when he heard you mumble. “I’m sorry sir, I caused you trouble.”

The apology was already pushing it, you had nothing to apologize for but the trouble part got him. Had he been so hard on you that you’d think he cared more about the trouble than your health? That hurt him, just like Bakugou and Midoriya. He sighed and shook his head finally allowing himself to catch the tear.

“You are no trouble. I’m here because I want you to get better.” Maybe his words could be taken different in your sensitive state of mind but regardless he meant well. The door opens interrupting your sobs and his attempt at comforting you. The doctor walked in followed by the nurse who cried for you. Her eyes were still red and lightly puffy. She smiled softly at you making your chest hurt. You didn’t deserve her tears or their kindness. The doctor stood in front of your bed waiting for you to look at him. You dared a glance up afraid that he would be disappointed but he was smiling like the nurse.

“Ms. L/n, I’m glad to see you awake. You gave us quite a scare. Would you like to talk about it?” Quite a scare? Really. You weren’t trying to scare anyone; you were trying to disappear from existence. You had scared yourself with an unsuccessful attempt. Now they knew. You wanted to talk but couldn’t get your mouth to open. You sunk your teeth into your lip until it bled. “It’s okay, you don’t have to talk right now. As you can assume you will be here for a while. Your parents are outside the room. I will send them after I have a talk with them about your recovery.”

He left the room and you wanted to run over and push one of the heavy machines in front of it. You couldn’t face them. You couldn’t look into their irritated and disgusted eyes. What if they don’t want you as their daughter anymore. A hand places itself gently on your shoulder before the bed dips from weight being added to it. The nice nurse is sitting next to you. “Don’t worry, they were so distraught when they heard the news. They haven’t left your side till an hour ago. They haven’t stopped crying and begging for you to be okay. Your parent’s love you and I think they aren’t the only ones.”

She smiles at Mr. Aizawa, who rolls his eyes. He knows the nurse is referencing the eighty different calls he’s had to take from crying and concerned students and faculty members. You look between the two adults before overhearing the conversation outside the room. Your parents are arguing something and you here a number and something about keeping you till your better. You knew that he was telling them you were being locked away. You could imagine the white walls with no windows. The cushion floors and pills that would melt your brain. You hadn’t realized you had started hyperventilating again. Mr. Aizawa rubs your back hushing you in a gentle way. The nurse gives you water and as you take it you see it, folded neatly on the chair with your camisole and sweats, Midoriya’s all might hoodie. You sit up, startling the two adults, before reaching out and grabbing the garment. The fabric is worn from plenty of use. It feels cold from sitting under the hospital air conditioner. You hug it to your chest deeply inhaling the pine smell. It was soothing and familiar. You noticed there were a few holes in it and wondered how they got there. You smelled it again curiously after noticing a different scent, a sweeter scent, like caramel like Bakugou. Why did it smell like him? You started feel cold, like you were back on top the roof. You close your eyes feeling your body fall over the edge. You grip the fabric tighter as you try to remember what happened before you fainted. You could hear a voice in your inner conscience. It sounded like Bakugou, he called you an idiot but he was crying. You couldn’t remember but he said it when he caught you, when he held you while plummeting to the ground. You were afraid to know what happened, but you needed to know.

“Mr. Aizawa, what happened. How am I alive?” It was painful to hear you say that. No one should ever have to ask that under these circumstances. He sighed rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“I can’t say exactly what happened because we showed up late. I got a call from Iida, he sounded panicked and I could hear the frantic yelling and crying in the background. He told me that you had hurt yourself after a confrontation with Uraraka and fled the building with bad intentions. I called All Might and the police. Other members of the staff were also informed afterward. I left to find you and found the class waiting for the police. They told me that Bakugou and Midoriya had run off to find you, to stop you.” He stops for a second because recounting the event brought back the sick drop in his stomach and the painful apprehension. You look at your hands that were perfectly still. You were afraid of the truth because you knew you had run off; you did feel guilty for upsetting people and causing such a ruckus. Had you just run off late into the night with no confrontation than things would have worked out, right? That’s when the last sentence finally clicks. You thrust your head up, your eyes staring into the side of your teachers face with curiosity and confusion. “Bakugou and Midoriya? They went after me.”

“They went after you and not only that. They um, they, they saved you. I didn’t see it since I was escorting the emergency vehicles to across the campus. All Might was outside the building. He told me in the darkness you saw fire and green sparks fly out the windows. The colors swirled chasing the same thing, you. Bakugou caught you and from what I was told Midoriya caught the two of you and used his quirk to get you back into the building three floors before the ground. The two boys emerged from the building, Bakugou holding you tightly against his body while Midoriya’s hoodie laid over your unconscious form. They both had a protective air to them, like guard dogs. Bakugou wouldn’t even hand you over to the medical workers and Midoriya, who is usually the understanding one, was defending his classmate’s behavior. They had caught you, they saved you and yet as I looked at them, they looked scared, defeated. They didn’t think they saved you and I guess in a way they are right. Regardless of that though, they tried to stay with you but they weren’t allowed to come with. They are probably still waiting to hear if your okay.” He got up and apologized but he had to take a call. You watched him walk out and you could slightly hear your parent’s voices down the hall. They were drowned out by the machinery beeping behind you. You were left with partial pieces of what had happened after you jumped.

You couldn’t lie to yourself and say that you didn’t believe they cared. You knew they did, you had experienced first hand their kindness and care this last week. Bakugou wasn’t nice to anyone and yet he had a soft spot for you. You were usually oblivious but you saw how he treated you. He made you food, he brought you water, he trained with you, and when you were sad, he let you be sad. He validated you and all your emotions no matter how dumb or fucked up they got. You got to sit on his bed with him during game night while all the boys whined that they never got special treatment. He cussed them out but you had just smiled. When you were around Bakugou no one messed with you and you received no jealous stares or judgement. Midoriya showered you in attention and kindness in his Midoriya way. His shy smiles and flushed cheeks as he’s talk with you about your aspirations and likes. He held onto everything you said and would give you a gift in relation to it. You liked a certain artist and he gave you a cd. You liked a certain animal and you ended up with a plush to cuddle with on your bed, not that you cuddled it or anything. You never had to eat lunch with others staring and whispering about you. The lounge was yours even when he wasn’t there. He always had a wrapped lunch and drink sitting on the table with an origami crane. You kept all of the ones you’d been given and they hung from string above your desk. If you had waited then you could have had a thousand cranes and just wished your depression away. You didn’t really believe that but everyone is allowed their childish dreams. Midoriya walked you to class when Bakugou didn’t. It felt like prison escorts at first but then it felt like friendship. Something you looked forward too. Midoriya gave you an All Might pen he had gotten in an exclusive set. It matched his and you couldn’t give the gift back because he argued against it. The pen was something you used every day leading to your breakdown. More important than physical objects were his quiet understanding and patience toward you. No matter how mad or depressed you got he always smiled, and never left your side. He always told you that you mattered and were amazing. You just wished you could believe the words because he spoke them with such sincerity.

“Y/n.” You had just been thinking about the boys and hearing someone call your name made your heart skip a beat as you looked up with excitement and yearning. You wouldn’t say you were disappointed but a slight bit of you wanted them to be standing in the doorway instead of the doctor.

“May your parents come in?” You held your breath and almost denied the request but you couldn’t run away again. This was the moment you needed to tell them how tired you were, how you didn’t want to try anymore. You nod and the doctor opens the door wider revealing your parents. You expected stern harsh eyes but instead met gazes with grief stricken weary ones. Oh god had you been wrong about them. They rushed to your side sobbing words of regret and apologies. You couldn’t speak as your throat tightened and tears blurred your vision again. You were starting to replace Midoriya as the class cry baby. You sobbed out apologies of your own but not for attempting to kill yourself. No apologies for being a failure and ruining their lives. They were astonished, how could you think such horrible things about yourself. Had they not loved you enough? Had they not supported you. What did they do wrong? These were selfish questions and they realized watching you crumble into the thin hospital sheet, that this wasn’t about them, it was about you. How could they support you until you loved and supported yourself? That was the better question. You felt arms wrap around you enveloping you into a sandwiched embrace. You felt like a child again for a moment causing your crying to escalate into hysterical sobbing and gurgled words that couldn’t be understood. As they held you crying their own tears they spoke.

“We love you Y/n. We have always loved you and always will. We are sorry if we contributed to this. Please don’t ever hurt yourself. Please don’t leave us.” You couldn’t promise anything right now so instead you basked in the love and warmth they gave you. This was apart of healing, ripping off a bandage. This was a wound that had rotted, grew infected and needed to be reopened if it wanted a chance to try to heal again. You had your parent’s and they were disappointed, they never once insulted or belittled you. They just had love for you. You wished you could tell them that you felt better but you didn’t. When you closed your swollen eyes, you could still feel the cold breeze and see the twinkling stars as you plummeted off the roof. You couldn’t heal until you wanted too. It would be a process but you were willing to wait.

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You slept for a whole day after the visit from your parents. They stayed but left to attend other business knowing you’d be safe in the hospital. Mr. Aizawa watched you for awhile to make sure you didn’t wake up and try to use your quirk again. When you finally woke up the world felt heavy, like you had been laying in drying cement. You reached out for your water and pressed the button to call a nurse. A different nurse came in and you felt intimidated by the unfamiliar person. You played with the sleeves of Midoriya’s hoodie, which you had put on before falling asleep, before asking for some headache medication and the ability to take a shower. The nurse let you know that he had to ask a doctor what you weren’t allowed to do or take. It was a twenty-minute wait but you didn’t mind, it wasn’t like you were going anywhere anytime soon.

“Here is some food and medication. Someone will come in after you eat to get you situated to shower.” The man was gentle and slightly awkward which made you giggle. You thanked him for his help before staring at the gourmet meal. It was cold soba, a side of warm white rice and a bowl of sliced kiwis and mangos. You wanted to shower and that meant eating something. Hell, this meal was better than Midoriya’s cooking so it wasn’t like you couldn’t stomach it. You just didn’t know if you were ready to eat. You were afraid of regretting it, or getting nervous and throwing up. You needed to eat something. A piece of mango slipped into your mouth. You followed it up with a few bites of rice and half the cold soba. It was delicious and the meds really helped after you took them. The attendant that came in to take the tray seemed happy to see most of the food gone. If you were being graded on eating than you were sure you just got a high B which was better than some of your school grades. The best feeling in the world came from feeling hot water against your bare skin. You had to have the nurse in the room with you, you had realized that you were going to be monitored closely seeing as people were anticipating another suicidal breakdown. You didn’t mind the attention, just felt bad for taking staff away from other patients. The nurse had slipped you a floral scented shampoo which excited you. You wanted to smell like anything other than sweat, hospital, and dirt. Once you dried off you slipped the hoodie back over your head. You had your bra taken away incase you tried to hurt yourself with it. The wiring could be removed and used as a blade or you could hang yourself. You didn’t mind as long as you were allowed to have the hoodie. A new pair of undies and sweatpants completed the look. Your parents were going to drop off some clothes later. The doctor mentioned something about transferring you to a different part of the hospital, a recovery center that you’d live at until they figured out a plan for your mental health. You didn’t want to stay but knew if you left, you’d be on the roof again. Better safe then dead.

“You look comfy.” You jump and turn when you hear the familiar voice. Your eyes meet with a pair of green ones.

“MIDORIYA!” You are already rushing off the bed pulling the heart monitor off your finger as you tackle the boy. His arms had already been open waiting for you like they always were. He holds you trying not to think to much about the fact that your wearing his hoodie. You nuzzle your face against his chest sniffing him. He smelt like the real him, he felt like the real him and yet you felt that if you let him go, he’d disappear. You didn’t let go till he pulled away. “I thought I told you to call me Izuku.”

You were excited just a moment ago but when he mentioned his first name you thought about Uraraka. You could see her, an apparition watching with distain. You were afraid to hurt people and that included her. Midoriya noticed the way you changed. He moved forward but was thrusted backward causing him to stumble and almost fall. “Move nerd, your upsetting her.”

Your heart beats wildly as Bakugou walked toward you. You can smell his body wash, and his natural sweet smell. He knew you were upset before he had even entered the room. He knew why you were upset; Mina had explained everything that Uraraka did and said. He knew that’s who you were thinking about. His hand lifted up and you closed your eyes expecting a flick to your forehead but instead a gentle pat. You open your eyes and stare into his crimson ones.

“Forget about her Y/n. She fucking sucks. You don’t have to beat yourself up over someone like her. You are amazing and can do whatever you want, even if that thing is calling this nerd by his first name.” His words were snarling or growled like usual. Instead they were delivered like a pep talk. He wanted you to let go of Uraraka’s words. You bit your lip wanting to listen but found it hard. He notices your hesitation this time smiling, you almost yelp at how gorgeous he looks. “You don’t have to do what people say. You matter and so do your choices.”

Midoriya nods beside Bakugou which causes the angry blonde to hit him. He snaps about finding his own thing to say and not just agreeing with him. You watch the two childhood friends and start laughing. Your laugher brings their attention back to you. You were genuinely laughing and they both smile basking in it. “You guys are such children, stop being mean Katsuki. Izuku means well.”

You are still laughing with your eyes squinted closed while they blush at the casual way you say their names. You look up when the door opens and a nurse is pointing to your finger. Shyly you return to bed clipping the monitor. The boys come closer. Midoriya taking the chair and Bakugou remains standing. There is a dead silence between the three of you. You rub your arm not really knowing what to say. You don’t have to speak since they both speak up, Midoriya first followed by Bakugou.

“Are you mad at us?” Midoriya looks sorrowful at you, like a puppy that didn’t know what it got hit for. You didn’t get a chance to ask why.

“He’s asking if your pissed that we saved you.” Bakugou looks away from you and Midoriya looks down. You finally look at them. Not smell or feel them, no, look at them. Bakugou had sunken in eyes, the dark rings turning into black holes around his eye lids. The white of his eyes match Midoriya’s, red and irritated. He had been crying, they both had. Bakugou’s knuckles had obvious signs of quirk overuse and scratches from hitting something rough. Midoriya’s cheeks seemed hollow, like he hadn’t eaten or hydrated. His hair was messier and not in a casual way, in a neglectful way. They both exhibit pain, trauma, remorse. How could you have done this? How could you prevent it from happening again?

“You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s me, I’m not okay. ” The words slipped out and you didn’t feel bad for saying them. You weren’t okay and they needed to know this wasn’t a fairy tale. They both raised a brow like you had stated an obvious fake. The both responded at the same time.

“No shit.” Bakugou. “And that’s okay.” Midoriya.

Both boys knew you were broken and they thought that was fine. How foreign of a concept to you.

“You guys are okay with this? With me?”

“Are you stupid? No this isn’t okay.” Bakugou’s words were growled. “Kacchan.”

“Shut up, it isn’t okay that you feel like way. You need to get help and that’s what your going to do in this fucking hospital. We are going to be here with you. It okay to be sad and hate yourself but it’s not okay to live that way. You are going to get better. I fucking swear my future as a hero on it.” Bakugou’s words quaked with passion. You started crying and felt Midoriya rub soothing circles on the top of your hand with his thumb. You nodded along with Bakugou and Midoriya followed him up. “You can take all the time that you need, we will be here every step of the way. Even during the bad times and the breakdowns. We will never judge you.”

Sobbing was all you could do while comforting you was what they could do. They promised and they were going to keep their word.

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A month, that was the time frame the hospital gave you. You chose to stay and get help and what made it easier was having Bakugou and Midoriya support you. The month had gone by in strange intervals. You had bad days were you tried to hurt yourself and found sanctuary in the arms of Mr. Aizawa who had to stop you. He was patient and nurturing as well. The first week had more downs then ups. The second week Bakugou made you where his hoodie claiming you were becoming a nerd with Midoriya’s on. The second week also ended with gifts and flowers covering your recovery room. Notes from everyone talking about how much they missed you and tell you what was happening while you were gone. The third week brought you friends. Everyone visited on different days and in different groups. Iida had apologized for his lack of leadership and not helping you. You dismissed his words and gave him a smile and hug. Momo cried and apologized and that seemed to be the cycle. Jirou didn’t cry but she was melancholy. The girls and boys that came and went made you feel so many emotions and so many hugs and tears were given. Kaminari had snot dripping out of his nose as he hugged you. The moment Mina laid her eyes on you the world stopped. You screamed her name and she screamed yours. Kirishima literally had to remove her to leave which upset her. She told you she loved you and to never try to kill yourself again. A smile was given but no promise. Not till you could tell yourself it and believe it. The last person who came was Uraraka. She was almost not allowed in by blonde guard dog but you told him she could. You both sat in silence before she cried. She cried and you did exactly what Bakugou said you would. You forgave her and blamed yourself. She argued but couldn’t win. The gentle honest smile on your face hurt but she returned the smile.

“Let’s start over.” You hugged her goodbye and cried in Bakugou’s arms because the words still lingered and hurt.

The fourth and finally week had you shaking with nervousness. You were going home to your friends, your family. You were free and maybe not cured but you felt good. You could say you were okay and mean it. The pain was there but it was a phantom pain. You had a plan and knew that even if you had episodes and breakdowns that was okay and people were there to help you if you just let them. As you packed your bags and left with Mr. Aizawa you felt nervous and happy. He smiled as you said goodbye to the staff who waved with smiles and tears in their eyes. You had life in yours and that was much more than you had a month ago. The car ride was quiet and as you opened a bag you noticed something sticking out. It was a letter, actually there were two of them. Midoriya’s hand writing on one, Bakugou’s on the other. You were afraid to open them but did it anyway. Midoriya’s said.

[I have something I need to tell you, please meet me in the teacher’s lounge.]

Bakugou’s was similar in context but simply said.

[In front of the main campus building]

You had an idea of what this might lead to and this conflicted you because you loved both of them, however one of them had been there for you like no other. You had loved them even before this. You knew where you needed to go.

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-MIDORIYA’S ENDING -

You had placed your bags back into your room and left for the exit before anyone could take your time. You almost collided with someone outside as your rushed out. The person gasped and you apologized reaching for the letter that slipped from your hands. The person picked it up first and read it. You felt true fear overtake you as you stared at Uraraka. She read the note and you wanted to cry and run but instead you gently held your hand out for it. She did something you hadn’t expected, she smiled. Her eyes held no jealousy or ill-intent.

“Uraraka, I”

“Don’t keep him waiting.” You both made eye contact and you had to rub your eyes to keep from crying. You both changed for the better and this proved she tried and not running away or giving up proved you were trying too. You left her in the doorway rushing off to find him. You saw Bakugou near the building he told you to meet him and you waved. He waved back realizing you were running past. He sighed before sadly smirking. “I’ll always be here for you even though you chose him.”

You couldn’t hear the words but you knew they were true. He wouldn’t hold this against you because this was what made you happy. This was something you wanted and chased after. The door to the lounge got closer and closer until you were breathing heavily outside of it. Your legs were wobbly and you felt light headed. You gripped the knob tight and opened the door. Midoriya was sitting in his usual spot. You both made eye contact and his cheeks, which were already red, grew deeper. You tried to steady your breathing and calm your chest but failed. You sat down across from him and felt for a second like you were back to the second time you had run. Well no more running. You put the letter on the table. He was quiet and for a second you thought maybe you were wrong. That’s when he stiffly stood up and bent forward in a bow.

“Y/n! I have been watching you since we starting attending UA together. I have always found you fascinating and strong. I always thought nothing could bring you down but I was wrong. You were much stronger than any hero I have researched. You fought, protected, trained, learned, and so much more all while hurting and fighting yourself. I think you are the bravest most amazing person ever and I don’t ever want to lose you or let go of you.” There was so much to unpack and he was talking so fast with no muttering. You were blushing and trying to think of an argument about being strong but knew it would be pointless. Midoriya was building up to saying the words and you didn’t know if your heart could handle running here and a confession.

“Y/n L/n, I love you and I understand if you can’t love me right now but.” You had called his name a few times as tears filled your eyes. He wasn’t listening so you moved across the table, lifted his head and kissed him. He was shocked but relieved. His arms moved around your middle pulling you closer which caused you to fall completely over the coffee table and into his arms. You both laughed before you pushed you face into his chest holding onto him tightly.

“I love you too Izuku Midoriya. I might mess up but please bear with me.”

This wasn’t a fairy tale ending, it was life. You had gotten the boy but you were still struggling. There was no miracle cure, no prince charming’s kiss to make the pain go away. Just two guys trying to help you help yourself. For this exact moment you were okay and that was okay.

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-BAKUGOU’S ENDING-

The moment your bags hit the floor of your room you ran to the elevator. You were nervous but thrilled. You wanted to over think but stopped yourself. You hushed the bad words with confident ones. The elevator ding freed you and your legs moved forward right into Mina who was going to go see you. The two of you hugged and she spun you around. The letter slipped from your grasp and you quickly reached for it but she was faster. You watched her read the simple location and waited for the mocking or teasing. Instead she placed the paper back in your hand and winked. “You don’t wanna keep him waiting do you.”

You could have cried at her support but didn’t have time. How long had he been waiting? Was he still there? Worrying was pointless because as you ran path lit up by the evening sky you saw him. He was leaning against the building looking up. You slowed your pace and followed his gaze. There was nothing there but as your approached, still watching the sky, you realized this was the same building you jumped from. One hell of a spot to meet. You felt fear build up but stop when Bakugou spoke.

“When I caught you in my arms, I couldn’t use my quirk to get us back into the building. My first thought hadn’t been to call out to Deku but to protect you. I held you close and braced for impact. In that moment I wasn’t a hero. I was me and you were the most important person in my life and I needed you to live. I needed to see your stupid smile and hear your laugh. I wanted you to call out my name from across the school yard while all these stupid fucking extras stared confused because they don’t understand us. I couldn’t lose you, and I can’t lose you.” His attention had been up but was now focused only on you. Your heart stopped beating, or maybe it was beating too fast. Right now, you couldn’t tell. You could tell that you were crying. That he was crying. He aggressively wiped the tears away. “God, I don’t think you understand how I feel about you. I’ve been in love with you the moment I watched you suck at throwing that ball our first day. I had been so angry and couldn’t understand why you laughed and smiled even though you ‘lost’. I understood later when you told the shitty girls that throwing that ball meant you were one step closer to being a hero, to saving lives. You were, are what heroes should be, should thrive to be. You want to save people even when your suffering. You’d die for anyone even someone who hurts you. It’s stupid and reckless and it you. You are my hero more than I am yours. You never hurt anyone while you hurt. You never blamed others. I did all of those things and take out my regret on people. I want to be a little more like you but I also want to help you see that you can love yourself. I know it isn’t easy and hell it might take years but I’ll be here for every one of them.”

Bakugou was a mean, aggressive, and narcissistic person, at least that’s what people sold him as. You never bought it because you knew what profiling people did. You knew what life was like in that box and you didn’t want either of you in it. You hadn’t realized he loved you all that time and yet you could say he was dumb because it took your crumbling mental state for him to realize you might like him back. You looked at him and moved forward till your arms were around him. That sweet caramel smell filled your nostrils and he felt like home. A million thoughts moved around in your head but you pushed them down. The bad thoughts were still there but you didn’t have to deal with them alone, and now you understood that.

“I love you Bakugou, I have loved you for so long and I never could say it but now. Now I don’t have to be afraid because when I’m sad you are there.” Bakugou laughed and held you closer. His lips pecked yours once then again and again until you whined and he gave you a real kiss. His lips were hot and soft against your cooler healing ones.

“You can be sad when I’m not around. You don’t have to be okay. Not right now, in time.”

“Bakugou, why did you pick this spot to confess.” Bakugou let you go and pointed upward. You followed his gaze and heard his words.

“Because one day I’m going to bring you back here and you are going to stand on the roof and scream from the top of your lungs that you did it, that you are okay.”

He caught you before you could collapse as sobs escaped. He showered you in kisses because he knew you needed to feel this way to get better. He would hold you while you cried because this was just a stop on the way to that future, he wanted for you. He wasn’t here to save you. You could do that yourself. He was here because he loved you.

#bnha #bnha x reader #bnha bakugou #bnha midoriya #midorya x reader #bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #mha #mha x reader #mha imagines #izuku x reader

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sisoyyoalgunproblema · 4 years

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Muslim attire in the EU

This is gonna be a guide to the bans (or lack thereof) on muslim attire in the European Union, country by country. Why am I doing this? Well, I’ve seen a discussion between that you can read here about the ban on hijabs in public institutions in Belgium and France and how that’s done in the name of “secularism” (it was all brought on because of a gift-set of Yasmina from wtfok, a hijabi muslim girl in a public school from Antwerp, Belgium) .

First of all, a disclaimer. I’m in no way shape or form an expert on this, I just have way too much time on my hands and want to understand the continent I live in and its relationship to Islam a little bit better. The information on here might be inaccurate or just wrong, I’ve spent only a few hours doing research, I know it’s not enough so if you know more be free to add your own info to this.

I wanted to do a European list in general but there are A LOT of countries in Europe, so I’m limiting myself to 28, I might do the rest of countries another time, this is just to give you (us?) a general view of the continent.

I’m gonna put links to EVERYTHING so that if you wanna read the whole articles you can do so, the info there is gonna be much more specific, for I’m only doing a summary of it. Most of my links are gonna take you to articles in English, but some of them will be in Spanish, French and Italian, for those are the only languages I speak, I’d love to read the articles about Germany in German because they are usually more accurate than those in English, but I don’t speak the language, so I haven’t.

Also, even though I feel pretty comfortable and confident in English it is not my first language (nor my second), so bear that in mind, there are gonna be some spelling and grammar mistakes, I’m sorry.

First of all, what is “secularism”? There are a couple definitions of the word that change it’s meaning, but I’m gonna use the definition presented by the Cambridge Dictionary, for I think it might be the most “european” one and we are talking secularism in the European Union, so, the Cambridge Dictionary defines “secularism” as: “the belief that religion should not be involved with the ordinary social and political activities of a country”.

Having said this, I’ll tackle each country alphabetically in English (I’m including the UK because they haven’t left the Union yet). A lot of the info is gonna be based in this article. So brace yourselves:

AUSTRIA

Islam in Austria is the first minority religion. 8% of the total population declared themselves muslim in the last census.

In 2017 the Austrian Parliament banned all those items of clothing that covered the face, a law that mainly affects those muslim women who wear hijabs and niqabs.

In 2019 the Austrian Parliament passed a law banning young girls (up to 10 yo) to wear hijabs at school. The fine for going against this law goes up to 440€.

You can read more info about Islam in Austria here and about the hijab ban here.

BELGIUM

Islam is the second religion of this country after Christianity and the muslim population of the country represents the 7% of the total.

(I want to note here that the Wikipedia page in French makes close to no reference to the hijab bans in the country)

I think this is the country who’s hijab ban is making more head-lines as of late because of their last ban on hijabs in Universities (as of 2020) but the first hijab bans in schools in the country were seen in 2005.

In 2017 the European Court ruled against two niqab-wearing (I couldn’t find the right terminology, if I’m not using this right, please tell me) Belgium muslim women who’d brought their country to court saying that the ban went against Human Rights.

The fines for not upholding this laws can go up to 150€ and can result in incarceration.

You can read about Islam in Belgium in French here and in English here. If you want to know more about the recent protests I’d recommend this article and if you wanna know about the ruling of the EU Court on the face-covering ban in Belgium, you can read this article.

BULGARIA

Islam in Bulgaria is practised by 15% of the population, it’s the second biggest religion in the country after Christianity.

On 2016 the Parliament of Bulgaria passed a law banning Bulgarian citizens from wearing burqas in public spaces, those who choose to oppose it will face fines up to 770€.

I haven’t seen much about Islam and Bulgaria, but the Wikipedia article is fine (you can find it here) and I also loved this article about how the Bulgarian government benefits from this ban (it could be applied to all the countries).

CROATIA

Islam is the second largest faith in the country after Christianity, but according to a 2011 census it only represents 1.47% of the population.

I haven’t been able to find any info about bans on either face-veils (burqas, niqabs) or hijabs, but the Wikipedia article if pretty good.

CYPRUS

Can I just leave it at “Cyprus is complicated af”, pretty please? Okay, the thing with Cyprus, without getting too deep into International politics, is this will vary depending on what you understand by “Cyprus” because if you ask a Turk, they’ll say there are two countries in the Island, but I’m gonna make this from the European POV, so the whole island is one country (please don’t murder me).

Islam makes up 18% of the population of the country (most muslims are in the northern part of the island, the Turkish part). There are no bans on muslim attire in the country that I know of.

If you wanna know more about Islam on the country I’d recommend this article, if you wanna know about the dangers of Imperialism and what the fuck is actually going on in Cyprus, this is nice. Oh! And this article about religions in Cyprus is good as well, but it’s in Spanish.

CZECHIA

So, Czechia (why is it spelled like this? why? I’ve had to check it over and over again!) so… Not much to say about this country (other than the fact that Prague might be my favourite city ever). Muslims only account for 0.1% of the population and I couldn’t find any bans whatsoever.

Oh! And its political leaders have proposed a ban on Islam itself, which isn’t Islamophobic at all!!! (according to their wonderful president refugees are colonizers, I love my continent :))

Okay, if you wanna read more about the whole Islam ban, this is a wonderful article to do so. And if you wanna know about Islam in the country in general, well, this isn’t the best Wikipedia article in the whole world, but it’s nice enough.

(I know my sarcasm is starting to show, I’m tired and I’ve only done 5 out of the 28 countries.)

DENMARK

And we’re finally here! The country with the little island for their muslim migrants!

Okay, joking aside, the muslim population of this country accounts for 5.4% of the total.

In 2005 the Parliament passed a law allowing businesses to ban women from wearing hijabs and on 2009 judges and jurors were forbidden to wear religious symbols. Some schools ban the use of head-scarfs. The fine for refusing to do so is of 1000 konner or 140 €. On 2018 they passed a law banning garments that cover the face.

This article is good for general information. And, if you want to know about the island, this article is good.

ESTONIA

Estonia has a very, very, very small Islamic community (0.1% of the total) and there’s not even one (1) Mosque in the country, although they practice in a Muslim Community centre.

Sorry I couldn’t find more info, you can read this, but it isn’t much.

FINLAND

Finland, 2.7% of the country’s population is Muslim. And… That’s all I could find? I’m sorry, really, if you want more info I can throw in the fact that “The Baltic Tatars” are a thing and they sound super cool.

Here’s the article.

FRANCE

Oh, France, the first country that used secularism to hide islamophobia, the land of Moliere, Champagne, my favourite cheese, Simone de Beauvoire… And the birthplace of the European hijab ban.

Okay, so things didn’t happen over night, in 1989 the French Minister of Education stated that it was up to the educators to accept or refuse the use of head-scarfs in their classrooms. In 2004 the French government banned religious symbols in schools and public places altogether (something that somehow only affects muslim women).

In 2010 dresses that covered ones face were banned (something that, again, mainly affect muslim women).

In 2016 there were very strong attempts to ban burkinis that were overthrown.

Oh! Muslims account for 8.8% of the total population in France.

To read more about Islam in France this article is good. And I’ve loved this article about the hijab in France. If you want something in French you can read this.

GERMANY

Muslims in Germany account for over 11.6% of the total population of the country.

In 2017 the government passed a law banning the covering of the face for soldiers and state-workers during work hours.

This article is great to get a superficial view about Islam in Germany.

GREECE

Muslims in Greece account for 4.7% of the population, I haven’t found much else other than the fact that there are two distinct groups, those who have been there since the Ottoman Empire and those who came in the late 20th century, early 21st.

I really liked this article, it’s not wikipedia.

HUNGARY

Muslims in Hungary make for less than 0.1% of the population. I haven’t found any information on bans on veils, but the country right now is ruled by the far-right and they won’t take any refugees (I know not all refugees identify as muslim but, believe me, in Europe everyone views them as muslim).

I got the info from this article, but I liked this article on Islam in Hungary much better, it just didn’t have the info I was looking for.

IRELAND

Ireland has a muslim population of 0.9% of the total of the country. Ireland is a fun country to do on this list because of the declaration from their Prime Minister, Leo Varadkar, in 2018, about weather to ban veils or not, stating: “I don’t like it but I think people are entitled to wear what they want to wear. […] I believe in the freedom of religion. I don’t agree with the doctrine of every religion or necessarily any religion, but I do believe in the freedom of religion.”

You can read more about Ireland and Islam in this article.

ITALY

Muslims in Italy represent 2.3% of the total population, in 2015, Lombardy (a region in northern Italy) banned the use of burqas in hospitals and local governament buildings. Anyway, this article gives you a pretty good overview on Islam in Italy and this one on the Lombardy burqa ban.

LATVIA

Muslims make up around 1% of the population in the country, I couldn’t find anything about bans on veils in the country, or Islam in general, but this article is an overview and this one talks about the experience of a muslim man in Latvia.

LITHUANIA

The only thing I’ve been able to find is that Lithuanian Tatars make for 0.1% of the population, but I couldn’t find anything about other Islamic families living in the country. You can read more on Islam’s history in the country in this article.

LUXEMBURG

The muslim population in Luxembourg accounts for 0.02% of the total population of the country, as fas as I know, there are no bans on veils, either hijabs or face-veils. So… Yeah, here’s a link, I couldn’t find much info on Islam in the country.

MALTA

Malta’s muslim community represents less than 1% of the country’s population.

In Malta, muslim women have to remove their veil when taking identification photos, but other than that, they can wear whatever they want, even though there was a proposal to ban burqas and niqabs in 2015, it was overthrown.

I couldn’t find much about Islam in Malta, mainly this article and this one about the proposal to ban full face veils.

NETHERLANDS

5% of the population in the Netherlands practice Islam according to a 2018 census.

In 2019 the Netherlands passed a law banning the use of burqas and niqabs, but not without controversy, Amsterdam’s mayor has opposed the law since the beginning and the actual enforcement of such law is in question.

You can read more about the history of Islam in the Netherlands in this article and about the ban on burqas in this one.

POLAND

Today, less than 0.1% of the population of this country declares themselves as muslim, but it’s one of the most Islamophobic countries in the continent, although I haven’t been able to find any bans on veils, probably because the majority of muslims are Lipka Tatars and the women of that group traditionally don’t wear hijab.

You can read more about this in this article.

PORTUGAL

The muslim population of Portugal represents less than 1% of the total, I haven’t been able to find any info on veil bans, but I got everything from this article.

ROMANIA

Muslims in Romania make up for the 0.3% of the population. As far as I’ve seen, there are no bans on veils in this country.

You can read more about Islam in Romania here.

SLOVAKIA

Less than 0.1% of the country’s population practice Islam and the country does not have a mosque. I haven’t been able to find anything about veil bans in the country, but they did ban Islam from becoming an official religion on 2016 and mosques in general (people worship in the Islamic Centre of Cordoba).

This is what I’ve been able to find about Islam in the country, this article is about the ban on mosques.

SLOVENIA

Muslims make up about 2.4% of the country’s population. I couldn’t find much else, and nothing on bans on veils. I got my info from this article.

SPAIN

Islam is practised in Spain by 4.5% of the country’s population.

Some cities in the country (such as Barcelona, Tarragona and Lleida) have banned the use of burqas and niqabs since 2010 and, although the Senat has pressured the government to do so nation-wide, their proposal didn’t pass the Parliament nor the Government itself, no no action has been taken.

(Also, I’ve seen people in both burqas and niqabs in Barcelona, so I don’t know if the law is being applied)

Finding info on Islam in Spain is tricky because most articles talk about the 12th century and things like that, but this one in Spanish is pretty good.

SWEDEN

Sweden’s muslim population makes up for 8.1% of the total. In 2019 a few municipalities banned the use of the hijab in educational institutions.

You can read more about all of this here.

UNITED KINGDOM

Muslims represent 4.4% of the total population in the UK and there’s no law banning islamic dress.

You can read more about this here.

THE EUROPEAN UNION AND ITS VALUES

I know many defend the banning of such items of clothing stating that secularism is a European value, so I took the liberty of going into the EU official site and look up its values (you can find it all here). This are the values of the EU:

Human dignity

Freedom (yeah, freedom of religion and expression are included within the EU’s definition of freedom)

Democracy

Equality

Rule of law

Human Rights (again the right to be free of discrimination because of religion is here)

So, no “secularism” isn’t a European value, freedom of expression and of religion and faith are. So, although the EU has ruled in favour of this bans multiple times, those are not upholding European Values.

Also, I’ve been very careful to put the years all this bans have been approved because, if you look closely, you’ll see that these bans are the outcome of the Islamophobia, xenophobia and radicalism that has taken Europe (and the west) by storm after 9/11 and the Mediterranean Migratory Crisis.

OTHER RANDOM THINGS I’VE SEEN, LIKED BUT DON’T KNOW HOW TO WORK INTO THIS LONG ASS POST

I really liked this article about how Europe banned veils and now face-masks are mandatory in most places.

This article also touches on Turkey, Russia and other European countries.

I love this article about how wearing a hijab in a lot of places of Europe has become a symbol of resistance.

A LITTLE NOTE FROM ME TO YOU

If you have gotten this far, I’m honestly surprised, I did this more for myself than others, but I really wanted to share it once it was done. Hope you’ve enjoyed it and learned something from it. I love you all 💜

#islam in europe #skam españa #wtfock #skam #skam nl #skam italia #skam france #druck #hijab #hijab ban

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glitterdreamsz · 5 years

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Wrapped Around Your Fingers (Part 1)

Pairing: Roger x reader, Brian x Reader Summary: Roger and (Y/N) usually hooks up and made it clear that there will be nothing more than sex. But what happens when Brian asks reader out? A/N: I AM FUCKING BACK!!! I missed you so much guys and i am so happy to be back here after a really shitty and depressing time, i swear i won’t disappear again. I hope you will like this series. And don’t worry, me writing something new doesn’t mean that i won’t keep writing A Penny For Your Thoughts and dad!roger stuff Warnings: smut, swearing, bad writing, english is not my first language so grammar mistakes Words: +2.3k

October 2019 “(Y/N)!” Mary greeted hugging you tightly. “Sorry, I’m late, as always” you said chuckling “Been stuck at work once again” “Oh don’t apologise to me” she nudged your arm and let you walk in the apartment. There were orange, black and red decorations everywhere, you could tell that Freddie really tried his best for that Halloween party. “But maybe you should apologise to that blonde fella down there” Mary said gesturing towards Roger who was sipping his drink while talking with Freddie “He kept grumbling where you were and why you didn’t come at the studio like you said you would have” You shook your head smiling “Then I’d better go over there before he will come at the museum looking for me.” Both girls walked to the two guys who were talking about some new music for their band “Here you finally are!” Freddie exclaimed once he saw you “Right in time for taking a picture of us” and with that, he took Mary’s hand pulling her close to him and next to Roger. “Nice costume Rog” You chuckled putting the camera in front of your eye and looking at the drummer who was wearing a clown hat and a giant wooden ribbon.

“Shut up” he groaned after you took the picture “At least I dressed like something and not wearing a boring black dress. Let me guess, should you be a sexy witch?” he smirked walking closer to you. “Excuse me?” You lifted up some rose steams that you were holding in your left hand “I’m Morticia Addams, how can’t you get it?” “Oh so original” Roger joked “But as soon as you put those flowers down you’ll become a witch.” he said wrapping his arm around your waist and moving you closer to his body. “A very sexy one” he almost whispered in your ear. “I got it” you chuckled “This dress shows out my boobs, you don’t need to remark it for the whole night.” “I could remark though the fact that you didn’t reply to any of my messages nor any of my calls today. You were supposed to come to the studio, we recorded some new stuff.” He made it sound like he was offended but you knew that everything was fine since you at least showed up at the party. “I had to work more than I thought and you know, you aren’t supposed to answer your phone while you’re working.” “I still wonder how you manage to work all those hours, don’t you ever get tired?” “No” you shrugged “I like my job.” “Don’t you ever get tired of talking about some paintings done by other people every single day?” “I studied for it Rog” you smiled “I like talking about painting to other people.” “Have you two done being antisocial?” Freddie broke your conversation and as you turned around you could see that John and Brian were standing next to him. “Hi (Y/N)” Deaky greeted you with a nod of his head. “We have never met before” The tall curly boy said “But I’m Brian” he reached out to shake your hand and you smiled while doing it. “Yes, we’ve never met before but I could say that I already know who you are. I’m (Y/N) by the way.” “Wait, you’ve never met Brian?” Freddie asked almost shocked. “No” Roger answered for you. “He spent the last months in the hospital and at home because of his hepatitis and that never made him met her before.” When people saw you and Roger they thought you knew each other for years. Truth is that you’ve met him only five months ago. You broke up with your boyfriend and you wanted to have only girls night out with your friends. That night you ended up in a pub in which this band Queen was playing. By the end of the show you were pretty tipsy and what you remember was that you went home with the drummer of the band and you had quite an eventful night. That wasn’t, though, the last night you saw him. He asked for your number and texted you any time they had a gig around the town. Neither you nor he wanted anything serious, you just came out of a three years old relationship and he, well, he was all about rock and roll and groupies. So that was the agreement you came out with: only sex, no feelings. You could be good friends but nothing more. “So, now that we all know each other, who wants a drink?” Freddie asked with a bottle of wine in his hand “Let’s get this party started!” he almost shouted for how excited he was. ***

“Let’s go home” Roger whispered in your ear. Those words gave you goosebump and you didn’t know if it was because you already knew what would have happened at his flat or for the atmosphere that there was at that exact moment. His cologne filling your lungs, your back pressed against his chest, your hips that swang against his, his arms wrapped around your waist. “Now?” you asked as you didn’t stop moving to the sound of the loud music. “Everybody’s still here.” “And so?” “So, everyone will see us leaving and they will definitely know that we left to have sex.” “Since when do you care?” “It’s just that it’s Freddie’s party.” “You haven’t been at my place for the whole week because of your job.” His lips started to leave a trail of kisses along your neck. He knew all your weak points. “And I really need you, right now” Roger proved his point pressing his hips closer to yours and you bit your lower lip as you felt his hardening against your bum. “I have to find Freddie and let him know that we’re leaving.” You could feel Roger smirk against your skin when those words left your mouth. “Don’t worry love, I’ll text him later that we were in a rush but we enjoyed his party.” You didn’t have the time to object since Roger took your hand and made his way to the door. “My car’s on the back” he said handing you your jacket “Wait for me here outside. You just nodded and walked outside the main front door. “Already leaving?” You turned around and saw a tall figure next to you, Brian. “Yep, Roger was getting a bit bored.” ****

It was all a rush. The door slammed behind Roger’s back as his lips were on yours, your hands through his hair as you pulled him closer. You didn’t want to waste any time as your fingertips started to unbutton his shirt. You have both waited a whole week for this, you weren’t sure if Roger had slept with any other girl in the meantime but you surely didn’t see any other guy, you were way too busy to see anybody else. Your lips found their way down to his chest which was moving up and down with his heavy breaths “Let’s go to my bedroom” Rog managed to say as his arms pulled you up and guided you down the hallway. In just a few seconds your clothes were off, just as were Roger’s, both of your eyes full of lust, both of your hands couldn’t leave each other’s body. You stepped to his bed pulling Roger with you, you left some bites on his neck as he hovered you. Your hand went down to his shaft and started to move back and forth. Roger laid his head against your shoulder as some soft moans left his lips. “Let’s not tease, let’s just fuck, it’s been a whole week since I’ve done anything” “Then…stop wanking m-me” the blonde managed to say. “Or I’ll come” “Wow Roger Taylor, are you really this weak?” you teased him, a smirk on your face. “You’re not the only one who didn’t have sex for a whole week.” He told as his hand went down to stop yours from its actions. “No groupies?” you frowned. “Will you just shut up?” “Or?” you smirked teasing him. “Just shut up” Roger mumbled as his lips found yours and his hand reached down your wrist to stop your movement and remove your hand from his hood. Your fingertips were pressed on his back as you felt him slide inside of you, his forehead pressed against yours as his breaths became heavier. “Fuck, I missed this” Roger managed to say. You moved your hips upwards as to tell Roger that you wanted him to move “Already so eager?” he asked still not moving, he wanted to feel you as much as he could and needed some time not to come too soon. “Will you just shut up?” you mocked him trying to mimic his voice tone. Roger shook his head chuckling as he started “Happy now?” You pulled him closer to you and kissed him “Shut up” you mumbled as the kiss deepened. “Let’s change position” Roger suggested as his lips were on the valley of your breasts. “What were you thinking?” “You on top” “Oh, you want to keep it vanilla today.” You couldn’t help but keep making jokes about him. That’s how you managed to make the sex less intimate, to see it just as simple sex between two people who just hook up and nothing more. But that wasn’t what Roger was showing at the moment when you were riding him and he decided to sit up. You have never been this close during sex, with your chest pressed against his. His hand reached for a lock of your hair and put it behind your hear, his eyes locked on yours as his thumb traced your lips, this was all new. And you didn’t know what was happening but that didn’t make you run away, it was comfortable, it made your heart beat faster but it was fine.

*****

“Where are you going?” Roger asked as he watched you getting up from his bed and recollecting your clothes. “Home?” you replied as if it was the clearest thing. “Stay the night.” “It’s not what we do” you said looking at him while putting your panties back on. “I know, but it’s four am and I don’t want you to get kidnapped by someone.” He retorted reaching for the cigarettes that were on his bedside table to smoke one of them. “I’ll call an uber and it will arrive just here at your flat so no one will kidnap me.” You moved closed to him and stole the cigarette from his fingers and took some drags. “Come on” he groaned as he sat up “We will see each other tomorrow again, there’s no need for me to stay here.” His hands reached for your hips and you could feel his calloused fingers against your naked skin. Roger made you move between his legs. “Stay” he insisted as his lips left some kisses on your belly and down to your hips bones. “Plus I’m hard again, so there’s a reason for you to stay. “Roger” you chuckled running your hand through his hair as you took another puff of his cigarette. He took that as a positive response and laid back in bed pulling you down with him causing you to laugh.

****

“Morning” Roger greeted you as he held his head up with his hand, his eyes on your naked figure. “Morning.” You smiled as you rubbed your sleepiness away from your eyes. “Did you sleep well?” You nodded in response “Even though you kept stealing my blankets.” “Was that the reason why you snuggled on me?” He had a cocky grin on his lips and you kicked softly his leg to make him shut up, but that only made him laugh. “Don’t you have rehearsals today?” You asked pretended to be offended by his behaviour. “Yes” “And don’t you have to go then?” Roger looked at his phone “I still have one free hour.” “And you have nothing better to do rather than making fun of me?” He snorted acting annoyed “Can I make an important question now?” You nodded looking at him. “What does a poor guy have to do to get a blowjob in the morning?” “I don’t know” you shrugged. “Maybe ask for it in a nice and polite way.” “(Y/N), could you please suck my dick?” he pouted pretending to look cute. “Fine” you sigh trying not to laugh “But only cause you said please.” And with that, you got under the bedsheets.

*******

“Your friend, (Y/N)” Brian said as he put his guitar back on its case. “Hmh” Roger mumbled as he kept a cigarette between his lips and started to pack his drumset. “She seems nice” “Yeah, she’s pretty cool” the drummer nodded not paying attention to his friend. “What’s going on between you two?” Brian asked once he closed the guitar case. Roger turned around to face him, a frown formed on his face. “What do you mean?” “You know, are you two dating? I mean, you seemed quite close” “No” he took another drag on his cigarette “We just fuck, that’s all, nothing more.” “Oh” Brian sat on the floor and drew some imaginary lines on the floor “So, you don’t care if she goes out with other guys?” Roger just shrugged as he kept working on his drum, not understanding why Brian wanted to know so much about your relationship. “Because you know, I was thinking.” The guitarist started to stutter “Would you be mad if I asked her out?” Roger suddenly got up taken aback from what the guitarist just said and that made him hit his drum cymbal with his head. “Fuck” he cursed massaging his scalp. Why did Brian want to date you? He just met you at the party, yes you were drop-dead gorgeous but he didn’t even know you so well. And fuck, Roger just said that you two have sex together so why would Brian want to go on a date with someone who bangs his bandmate? Roger looked at his friend and replied “No, you can ask her out if you want to.”

———————————————–

I couldn’t not add this photo that reader took about Roger, Mary and Freddie at the party

TAGLIST: you can add yourself in here ! if your name is overlined is because damn tumblr didn’t let me add you @queenrrogertaylor @spideyyypeter @rockyroadthepastryarchy @borhapqueen92 @jennyggggrrr @queen-crue

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blakescoven · 5 years

Text

You Decided That I Was Worth Saving | 1 |

Pairing: Sojourn!Michael Langdon x fem!Reader

Chapter One (1): “As I Lay Dying”

Summary: You were driving home from work, when something – or rather someone – literally got in the way. Against any reason, you let him into your life. Michael would make you question your entire worldview. Were your paths meant to cross? Did you two meet by accident? By fate? Or there’s an evil force behind it, scheming and plotting with a devilish purpose?

Warnings: car crash(!), mention of injuries, different POVs, some swearing

Word count: 4.7K

A/N: Hey lovely friends! Here’s a sort of Sojourn AU-ish, since the plot starts in that particular moment of Michael’s life. Still don’t know if I’ll include witches and satanists…we’ll see. It’s gonna be a series so I guess I’ll divide it into a few chapters. I loooove angst and slow burn, so I’m sorry but there’s no smut. Yet. Also, for this chapter, I took inspiration from: the scene of Elena’s car crash from 1x11 of TVD and a song, my fav of all times, that I listened to while I was writing this chapter and that is also the song playing in Y/N’s car; Apocalypse by Cigarettes After Sex. Okay, that’s it. Enjoy and thank you so much for reading it, despite the grammar mistakes (my apologies) and the fact that probably it really sucks. (‘WHAT AM I DOING?’ was the mood while I was writing it tho.) Anyway, love you and please, let me know what do you think and what I can improve!! I’d really appreciate any FEEDBACK!! I kinda need it, because I’m not sure I’m doing this right. THANK YOU xxx ♥

You've always thought you could describe your whole existence with a wide range of adjectives, but 'adventurous' wasn't one of them for sure. At least, that's what you thought 30 minutes before the event that would have changed your life forever. Nothing would ever be the same again; just like a hurricane comes and goes, so that day, and the following ones, would have drastically rocked your world. And mostly your beliefs.

It was late. But you were used to it. You had recently got a new job, which allowed you to move out and finally get your own place, the smallest rentable apartment on Earth. Or in Los Angeles, no doubt. This was the most stressful moment since you were born, it was up to you taking care of your own now. Mommy and daddy no more.

Shifts were endless and you often found yourself staying late at the office, to finish what you've started. This new routine was already messing with your biological clock. Every single night, you looked forward to going back home, eat and fall apart on your bed. Even today, you were already savoring the anticipation of your sadly-glorious homecoming; you were dying for a relaxing hot bath and a slice of pizza. But who are we kidding, right? A whole pizza. Then, sleepiness permitting, you would have watched your favorite TV show petting your cat. A real party girl, uh? Well, that was your life now.

You have just finished college and this was the first experience as an independent person. At the very beginning, it has been hard leaving your parents' house, but soon you realized it was time for you to go on your own way. You were so full of dreams and expectations. You hoped to achieve great goals. Of course, what you haven't taken into account was that your future weekends wouldn't have been under the banner of fun, alcohol, and friends. But instead, your crazy Saturday nights consisted of you kneeled in front of the washing machine, hands in your head and a YouTube DIY video for dummies playing on your phone, which explained all the ways to get the laundry started and what products must have been used. All your life has become a huge dumb Netflix comedy. More like a parody, perhaps. You hung out with your friends less and less; you felt deeply guilty about that, but you were way too tired to make up for it.

As mentioned before, it was a late Friday night. It was raining, pretty hard. You were driving your beloved brand-new car (THE much-demanded graduation gift) and 'surprisingly' you hit traffic. At 9 fucking p.m. TGIF, they said. Sure. Your friends were definitely having fun and drinking in some random club by then.

You, on the contrary, were running out of patience; your shiny Lexus had not moved an inch in 10 minutes, so as soon as you could, you took a highway exit. That was supposed to be a kind of shortcut, according to the navigator. The pouring rain and the cadenced motion of the windscreen wipers sounded like a lullaby. A slow-core song started playing in the background. It was quite soothing and maybe, on second thought, you should have to turn it off…or had coffee before leaving.

You could feel your eyelids getting heavier and heavier, the exhaustion slowly prevailing. Trying so hard to keep your eyes open, that they've started burning; and not to miss anything, you got a bit of a headache accompanied by a soon-to-be-wrinkle frown.

Meanwhile, you were driving down a deserted one-lane road, going a little over the speed limit in your rush, in order to make it home as soon as possible. The wheels were slipping a little on the wet pavement, but you kept the car steady. You peered through the front window trying to see what was ahead of you; it was pitch black outside, with not even one dammit lamppost; only the moon's pale light absorbed by the dark green leaves of the forest beside the road. You had no idea where you actually were.

Suddenly, the annoying metallic voice of the GPS started bullshitting about recalculating a new route. "Wait what? Fuck NO NO NO…come on! You stupid thing, why are you changing direction???" you maddeningly screamed, looking at the display and trying to change the settings with your right hand. You weren't exactly paying particular attention to the road ahead. Huge mistake.

Outside the windshield, the rain was coming down in torrents, blurring your vision even more. The wipers went back and forth, attempting to clear away the large droplets clinging to the glass, but it seemed they weren't moving fast enough.

As if the universe had something big in store for you, right at that moment, something – or rather someone – came out of the dense vegetation, slowly limping while crossing the street, no concern for surroundings.

Your eyes were still glued to the GPS tracking your position; but all of a sudden, your distraction was abruptly erased when you caught a glimpse of a human shape in the middle of the road, illuminated by the car's headlights.

A goddamn person.

You had perhaps three-quarters of a second to register this.

You didn't realize it until it was too late. You couldn't have stopped all this now. The blood drained from your face. It all happened in a few seconds, but the moment seemed to last forever. The shock made you tense your muscles; your heart skipped a beat and your eyes suddenly widened. There was a scream coming from within that forced its way from your mouth as if your terrified soul has set a demon free. It was the kind of scream that makes the blood run cold.

With adrenaline flowing through your system, you slammed on the brakes. Your fists clenched with white knuckles around the steering wheel, immediately swerving to avoid the crash. Somehow you managed to not run over him, but you were going too fast to stop.

Your car rolled over and over, while clips of your life flashing like a slideshow. The vehicle has flipped so many times that you started drifting in and out of consciousness. The noise of the metal being bashed over the asphalt was deafening. When it finally stopped, you were stuck in your seat upside-down, coughing up pieces of the broken glass coming from the shattered windshield.

Then everything became still.

You could only hear the sound of rain on metal. Aware of the bloody taste in your mouth, you still weren't able to figure out if you were injured, because the seatbelt tugged on your chest was too painful. Heart pounding in your ears, you tried to scream for help, but it came out more like a gasp.

Meanwhile, the young man was still paralyzed to the spot in the middle of the road, like an unfamiliar force was holding him in a tightening grip, keeping him from leaving. For a moment he believed that that must have been another hallucinated vision. Then he slowly turned his head toward the wrecked car. An odd thought came across his mind: the driver crashed in order to not run over him. But why? Humanity had failed him so many times. He had lost the only one that truly cared about him. His Father had abandoned him and he wasn't able to understand what was his purpose, not anymore. He actually knew that a car was coming that way, but now he honestly didn't give a damn about his life. He had failed. He was utterly lost. This was the best coincidence possible to put an end to his suffering. But now, he felt something he couldn't explain, almost a need, the need to go and check if the driver was okay. Still confused about this new foreign impulse, he started to walk towards your car.

Once there, he kneeled and took a look inside, from the broken side window.

"You look stuck." he commented with an apparent childish but plain voice.

If you weren't, like literally, in that position, you'd have certainly sassed back to that dumb obvious statement. But your conditions weren't the best at all, you might have some broken bones, actually.

What, instead, came out from your mouth was stammering confused words.

"I-I-It… m-my… my s-s-sea..b-be..t" you tried to speak, holding and shaking the restraining belt tightly in your hands, while tears gathering in your eyes.

He hummed and shushed you. "Let me get you out of here." he whispered, thinking again about why he was actually doing this, it was none of his business. And yet, he stayed on.

"I want you to put your hands on the roof." You were about to obey his calming demand, but in that moment, you realized your left arm had to be broken and it hurt like hell. So somehow you managed to raise only the other one and take also your phone.

Then he closed his eyes for a couple of seconds and all of a sudden, the seatbelt mysteriously unhooked, as if by magic or an invisible force. But you were too rattled to think about it.

You fell and he gently grabbed and lifted you from the car.

"I got you." he smiled, holding you in his arms while standing up. "Are you okay? Can you stand? Is anything broken?" he questioned with a caring honeyed tone.

You nodded pointing your arm and moaning, still dizzy from the car flipping over. The stranger carefully set you on your feet, yet not letting you completely. Good, because immediately after you slipped, too weak to stand, but he caught you by the waist. Your head was spinning so fast.

"Hey hey, easy, don't force yourself, you're clearly not okay." he observed "Look at me." and he placed his thumb on your lower lip and chin to hold your head steady as he spoke. What was he feeling right now? Pity? Concern maybe? He thought he had already turned off those pointless human emotions.

You tiredly opened your eyes to meet the most beautiful pair of ocean eyes you've ever seen. Unfortunately, you couldn't focus on him any longer, neither when he run his hand down your water-stained cheek.

"Hey stay with me, don't close your eyes." he urged, just as your vision went fuzzy and your eyes rolled back. Within seconds everything went black.

You passed out into complete and utter darkness.

He caught you before you hit the concrete, gathering your limp body into his arms and walking away from the car. He abruptly stopped. What he was supposed to do now? He had literally come from the woods, after days of fasting and sleeplessness. He was covered in damn dirt. Not to mention that he had no place to go. He was too exhausted to reason. So he chose to gently lower you to the ground, kneeling, so half of your body was on his lap. He stroked your wet hair, wondering what to do with you. Just right now, looking at your face, he noticed how beautiful you were, how innocent and angelic. He swallowed and smiled. A soft side? In his evil and corrupted soul? Impossible.

It was still raining. You were both soaked and there was no shelter in the proximities. He thought he couldn't do anything more. That's when he remembered about your broken arm. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, placing his hands above your head. Nothing. Maybe he wasn't focused enough. He took your hands in his own and tried again. This time his eyes rolled black until they showed only a white surface; then he started to mutter Latin words. He lifted his head up speaking louder, but his nose began to bleed, until his vision blurred and the car suddenly exploded. He lost consciousness right next to you, nevertheless his hand still on yours.

The next thing you knew, you were on your back on the ground and very disoriented. Also completely drenched. Making indistinguishable noises because of the pain, you turned your head resting on the asphalt. The rain in your eyes didn't let you have a clear view of the surroundings, but you immediately felt an extremely warm presence at your side. You blinked twice and finally saw the boy that had helped you, laying there unconscious. Hell, maybe you had hit him with your car after all. The plot thickens.

Saying that you were confused about the whole situation was an euphemism. There was nothing for it but to try to reach your phone, almost five feet apart from your leg, hoping that it didn't break in the crash. Despite the acute ache in your arm and the burning cuts and wounds, you were able to crawl back to it, so you dialed the number and called 911. You explained everything and asked for help with a wisp of voice. You probably had a concussion.

The rain eventually stopped. You were starting to feel cold, so you found your way back to the stranger. Little droplets of water drenched his hair, covering his features, and you couldn't help yourself, you brushed a few strands from his face, caressing his sharp cheekbone. Right after your head started spinning and your vision filled with white spots, until you fainted again, against the stranger's chest.

You woke up in a hospital bed. It was early in the morning; the sunlight was peeking through the blinds, the constant beeping of monitors echoing throughout the room. You sighed loudly and squinted with a grimace. Luckily you were just a little sore, nothing too serious. You took a look at your arm: you had a pretty unaesthetic cast. The universe's way of telling you, "Here, take this you little bitch." Amazing.

You got up very slowly and entered the bathroom, looking for a mirror to better check out your wounds.

"Wow, nice Halloween make-up though." you muttered rolling your eyes. You had a stitched cut on your left upper forehead, a split lip and dark circles under your puffy eyes. A Miss Universe at her peak. Not to mention a great number of bruises all over your body.

You called your parents shortly afterward. Downplaying the details of the accident wasn't enough, they completely lost their minds at the phone. They were shocked and worried about your conditions, so they insisted to get on the first flight to LA, to help you. You reassured them you were fine and ready to go home. It wasn't necessary for them to come. They even offered to pay for a new car, since yours was, sadly, destroyed. You refused though; you would have dealt with the car-issue later. Even though you couldn't still get over the fact that your precious SUV has gone for good.

A truly kind doctor got to your room and, after having checked out vitals and injuries, refreshed your memory about what happened last night. Shoot! In that moment you realized you had totally forgot about the boy. You immediately asked the doc if you could go visit him. He nodded but not without first warning you. John Doe here had to be sedated because, when he regained consciousness in the ambulance, he had refused to go to the hospital and started thrashing around. Luckily, he was too weak to harm anyone.

The doctor kept saying that they had found no ID, nothing that could tell them where he came from. He was completely dehydrated in addition to previous wounds. He probably hadn't eaten for days either. For these reasons, the cheap version of Derek Shepherd wasn't sure whether he should call the police.

You were listening to his words with much more concern you thought you could feel. Well, maybe because you had almost run over him. But you felt you had to go check on him. He helped you out of the car after all. He…saved you someway? What you couldn't understand was why he had stopped in the middle of the road; he hadn't even tried to get out of the way…Oh shit. Was there any chance he wanted to, like, get killed? No, c'mon, there are way too many other – and less-painful – "methods" to do it…It couldn't be.

When you arrived in his room, you immediately noticed he was tied to the bed and carefully, you set his wrists free. After a few seconds, he woke up. You tried not to pay attention, but he was undoubtedly attractive. To be honest he was much more than that. Handsome to say the least. He seemed almost angelic. Baby blue eyes piercing your soul with a magnetic gaze, golden messy curls spread around his head on the pillow like a halo and God-given sharp features. Despite that, he was still covered in filth and wounds. But even in such a miserable state, he was hypnotizing. You wondered why no nurse took care of him yet.

"Hi!" you whispered, sitting down on the nearest chair.

"Hi." he said back, almost imperceptibly. "Thank you" he added, pointing at his bruised wrists.

"I should be the one saying 'thank you'..." you stated; he gave you a half-smile, "…you literally saved my life."

"No need to thank me, I caused your crash so.." he stopped for a second "…we can say you saved me instead." he admitted heavy-heartedly, with his eyes down. He seemed so sad and so lost, and you really felt for him.

"Well, thank God we're both still alive!" you didn't know what to say anymore. And this cringy comment wasn't helping.

" Sure " he scoffed.

What were those, tear-stains? Has he been crying?

Then an awkward silence filled the room. You were starting to feel a bit uneasy, and the continuous biting your lower lip – despite the cut on the upper one – made it absolutely obvious. You could feel something was off about him. The sadness and despair in his eyes were pretty noticeable, and you were the kind of person that can't look away.

"Uhm, are you okay?"

"Yes" he was still staring at the void. No emotion showed.

"Sorry, I don't want to be pushy…but it's clear you're not."

"Why do you care? What do you want from me?" he snapped turning his head, but his face softened instantly, as if he regretted the outburst.

You honestly didn't know why you cared that much either. It was an odd sensation coming from your guts, it was pulling you so deeply into him. He needed help, and you wanted to give it to him.

"You got anybody I could call? Your relatives or a friend?" was the only answer you could articulate.

" No.. " he mumbled, "..I have no one."

Suddenly, you felt the urge to ask him if he wanted to go home with you, to recover. You would have never done – or even thought – anything like that before. This was against all the good bits of advice your mum ever gave you. Like, don't invite in strangers that could easily kill you in your sleep?! But it was as if, deep down, you knew you could trust him. You took the risk.

"Listen.. ahem.. y-you could come home with me. I have enough space in my apartment and we could help each other until you'll feel better" you paused.

He was staring at you now, with glistening eyes. He was speechless. No one has ever shown him selfless kindness. He was in disbelief.

"I don't want your pity."

"No, wait. This isn't pity. In case you haven't notice, I have this lil problem here" you chuckled, swaying your cast in the air "I wouldn't mind a hand" you said to release the tension.

"I-I can't. Please, go. Just leave me alone." he shook his head. The fear of being abandoned or rejected again was too overwhelming for him to open up and accept some help.

"Oh," you whispered, a bit down in the dumps, "got it."

You headed for the door, but before leaving, you turned one more time "I'll leave my number to the receptionist in the hallway, in case you change your mind." you winked and smiled, leaving him alone.

He sighed and slammed his head against the pillow; he didn't even have a phone, also because, come on, what good it would do? But above all, what kind of paradox was that? Him, the motherfucking Devil's spawn, needing help? From an innocent little soul like you? No kidding. He had performed a human sacrifice and eaten raw hearts for fuck's sake. Yes, he may not know what to do, and probably he had made mistakes, but it wasn't over yet; his satanic plan needed to be adjusted. This way, he would eventually recreate the world in his Father's image and earn his trust again.

He needed to leave as soon as possible, before some stupid human being started asking him though questions.

You were finally home. The entire Uber ride had been silent and for that you mentally thanked the driver, because you weren't in the mood to talk at all.

As soon as you turned the doorknob, your little friend immediately greeted you purring, making you jump. He really missed you…or at least that's what he wanted you to believe. You locked the door behind you.

"His Majesty is hungry, uh?!" you said mocking your furball "Yeah, me too dude...but hold on a little longer, I need to take a shower I smell like hospital, jeez."

Only now you noticed. There was a rather unusual atmosphere when you walked in, an unsettling silence sending shivers down your spine. An inexplicable heat radiating from the house itself. It was too hot in there and you're positive it wasn't normal in the middle of November. The room seemed saturated with unfamiliar vibes.

You went to your bedroom and started to undress. Then you entered the bathroom, ready to finally wash the last night events off you.

Odd. It was like you could feel eyes on you, all the time.

Whatever. You were too worn-out to indulge your paranoid thoughts.

But the same feelings still followed you, even later when you were eating your delivered dinner, half-dead on the couch with the fluffy monster curled up on your lap.

"Maybe it's a sort of twisted PTSD." you told yourself. Yet your heart wouldn't settle. Something wasn't right there.

Anyway, you chose to ignore your instinct; it was time to get ready for bed. You reached your closet as you slowly took off hoodie and sweatpants, changing into even more comfortable clothes, just a t-shirt actually. Since it was that hot, no pants. The loose garment barely covered your bare thighs though.

You were half asleep when your cat jumped up and suddenly rushed out of your bedroom like he was possessed. You stretched and changed position, that enormous cast wouldn't let you fall fully asleep. After 5 minutes of turning and tossing you heard what sounded like footsteps. Your pulse started racing.

"It's nothing," you told yourself, "I'm imagining things."

But then the typical creaking of your fridge being opened reached up to your room. Twice.

You froze, heart in your throat. You were most definitely not alone. Someone was in the house.

But right after you shook your head, "Ugh, probably it's just that furry devil."

Being as quiet as possible, you got up and made your way to the door, straining to hear, but your heart pounded too loudly and your breathing was harsh. Moving towards the switch, but on second thought you decided against it.

Nothing. Complete silence.

It was when you were finding your way back to the mattress that you heard a white noise, a loud thud and the clear scraping of a chair against the floor. You froze again with wide eyes. You swallowed breaking out in cold sweat.

The squeaking of the cupboard followed by the tinkling and banging of glasses and dishes. You almost had a stroke.

You internally cursed yourself. You had left your phone on the couch. Fuck fuck fuck. The only option left was trying to reach the door and ask for help from the next-door neighbor. But you couldn't do it, the kitchen had a space divider, but it wasn't long enough to avoid being seen.

Weapon, your mind screamed. You needed a weapon.

A relieved smile appeared unexpectedly on your features. You recalled about keeping a knife hidden in the drawer. 'Never say never' when you live alone. Well, it seemed it had been a good idea after all.

You slid your fingers around the rubber grip, dismayed by how much your hand was shaking.

Heading down the hallway barefoot, you hold your breath and slowly approached the living room. With one motion you sneaked into the kitchen, with the blade facing the intruder, and screaming,

"I'm calling the police!"

But what you saw made your jaw drop in shock.

It was Him, the guy from the car crash.

In your kitchen.

Eating your motherfucking chocolate chip cookies.

At 01:00 am.

"Uh, sorry..." he spoke while chewing the leftovers and then swallowing loudly, "..you wanted some?". As if he felt guilty for real, with that childish expression.

You couldn't keep quiet any longer. The situation was too far-fetched.

"WHAT THE HELL?" you snapped. He chuckled at the reference.

"I can't cook. I was starving and I found these. I didn't want to wake you, but this monster here won't get off me..."

"What are you doing in my apartment?"

He tilted his head, pretty confused. "You invited me to stay here..." he remarked, with a hint of displeasure in his voice.

"Yes, I did. But it doesn't mean you can break in without me knowing." You were still a bit scared; he could be dangerous as far as you knew, and his actions had already proved it.

He didn't say anything. He stood up from the island counter, making his way to you. You were slack-jawed in astonishment, still holding and pointing the sharp surface toward him.

"Put that knife down."

"No."

"Why?" he frowned.

"I don't trust you. Don't come any closer!" you ordered.

"I can't take you seriously looking like this" he smirked pointing at your 'night attire'.

He took another step and you run to reach the handle; it turned but the door wouldn't budge.

"It's locked." you turned to look at him "Don't you remember? You did that yourself." he observed, like it was obvious.

"Then how did you get in here?"

"Transmutation."

"Tra-what?" you supposed he must have been out of his mind.

The circumstances themselves were unbelievable. But he was right, you offered him help.

Now he was leaning against the wall a few feet apart from you, locking his eyes with yours, his beautiful features veiled by a shade of dejection and misery. Suddenly, the feeling you had at the hospital came back. Trust.

"I know I'll regret this, but yes, you can stay."

A thankful smile crept across his face and if it weren't for the dark, you could swear that he was also crying.

"But if you don't behave I'll kill you." you threatened in a playful tone, but you needed to scare him a little.

In that moment he understood that he had done the right thing, deciding to take your offer. He had to pick up the pieces and get back on his feet. He couldn't have done it alone.

And mostly, he liked you. You were a warrior. There was something special in you, he could feel it. He could trust you.

"You scared the hell out of me by the way…do not do that again." you spoke as your eyes narrowed.

"I promise" he whispered.

He was kind of a weirdo, but you imagined he'd been through a lot. For this reason, you decided to place the knife on the table and get closer to him.

"But anyway, sooner or later you're going to tell me how you did it." you chuckled showing him the door. You were standing right in front of him now. He was taller than you thought.

"We haven't officially met, I'm Y/N."

In that moment – a moment you'll never forget – he vanished right before your eyes.

Then a sudden voice – that didn't hide insecurity and expectancy – coming from behind, made you turn around and left you in absolute shock.

"I'm Michael. Michael Langdon."

___________________________________________

Tagging (hope you don’t mind, in any case just tell me!) @michael-langdon-appreciation @hecohansen31 @so-langdon @emmyrosee @ladynuwanda @sammythankyou @sojournmichael @hplotrfan

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weabbynormalblog · 5 years

Text

Keep strong...

I've had this message on my board all week. So I must of looked at it more than a dozen times since then. What does it mean, what am I trying to say? I stare at it, percrasting not putting laundry away, but washing the floor instead. I struggled with it, the grammar and text of the sign. Should it "be strong" or "stay strong"? Why did I decided in "keep strong" versus "be strong"? Strong can refer to physical and mental strength. Staying with the program that's the "keep" part and the "strong" part is not giving it up for good.

At my worst, it was tempting to end it all. I also wrestle with cutting behavior and body numbness. It isn't easy being me. I know I can change and heal; I've done it before. I am strong. I overcame my dyslexia by the time I was 25. I have over came back injuries, 4 times now in my life and still healing from the last time. I was in a wheel chair for a year due to a frozen sciatica. Ive had successful shoulder surgery too. I gave up smoking over 20 some odd years now. I've survived and recovered from a nasty divorce, lost business and financial ruin. I've also lost 200lbs and avoided diabeties. I thought I had seen it and done it all.

Now I'm a brain injury survivor with chronic pain and fatigue. I'll get through this and so will you!

Can you keep strong and have the ability to ask for help when needed? If you're an over achiever like myself, your pride takes a bit of a dip in having to ask. I know, it's hard to be the one needing help. Especially if it was the other way around before. Now it's time to get past it! It's ok that we need help with some tasks, and that there are things we don't know how to communicate. Then there's things that I can do that others can't. One of my best gifts is my creativity. I can make something out of nothing. Whatever a sweater boom there it is, a minion pinayta for a party, a desk organizer, a bird feeder; some people can't even visualize it, never mind create it. Even Greta Nuremburg speaks of her handicap as a gift. It let her cut through the bullshit to form a direct line to help climate change. There's a certain stubbornness that seems to develop with learning disabilities/brain injury/mental illness etc. For me I'm sure its a coping mechanism. Its my brain working out how to make sense out of all this data. It gets overloaded at the strangest times, it seems. Still lots of mystery in my head. As a person that has difficulties decoding, speaking and hearing, sometimes adapting means putting myself in the middle of everything. I need to arrange things so that I can understand and communicate better, which isn't always possible. I'm fortunate to have a person to help when I need to get groceries or run errans. I'm still too limited with my mobility to drive most days. For everything else I do more with less. I can't hear on the phone. Add accents of any kind to conversations like West Indian, British, French or German... It's the worst for me and then we play a game show called What did you say? I'll take M as in Michael please. I dont do phone calls on days that I'm not up to the task. Forget everything if I have a migraine or my pain is past 6 and I had a rough night. Phone calls, get them out and done first thing in the am. I don't play telephone tag either. When leaving a message state a day and time that works better for them to reach you. I do everything I can possibly do with text messages and email. I process information best like this, the written word. Yeah, I'm not much of a conversationalist these days in person, unless its 1 on 1 or maybe you need a monologue or speech delivered? While writing offers some communication relief theres still grammar errors and spelling mistakes, but more or less writing is stress free for me, even enjoyable opposed to trying to follow a conversation between 3 or 4 people and remember names.

On bad brain days all my disabilities can be too much; then with the chronic pain and fatigue on top of that? Just kill me now? Or maybe now? Screw going anywhere! Ever! It's a head in a jar rough day, my body doesn't respond well to anything. Walking and talking is over ratted at this point; all I can do is rest. I feel defeated by my own body. See you have to "Keep Strong" even when your body can't. So no deal, less urgent tasks fall to the wayside. Sorry I got to bail out on that date again. In the moment I just want to give way, let it all go and become a gelatinous mass that can ooze up and down the stairway, absorb nutrients by oozing on them and Ah...don't move just emit blob like behavior.

Recently I joined the local Chronic pain and fatigue organization, there is no brain rehabilitation in my area, so much for Medicare. I'm so grateful that this .org exists. It's great when I can get out to the activities. The Yoga, it was great! Low impact just what I needed. I was in bed for 2 days after that. This Thursday Yoga came and went with my sadness. I did my at home version instead. Today again is not one of those going out days. That's perfectly fine with me. I know when I'm not good with other people or getting around. There's no point in being angry, tired, frustrated and in pain.

So when faced with "keep strong" laying in my bed. I know that caring for myself is not giving in to limitating beliefs but allowing myself to becoming stronger in the long term by understanding and treating my physical limitations today instead of making like the other regular sheep. I still meet my short term goals on stretching, hydrating and eating well. The basic chores still gets done. You need to remind your self that resting is a part of the healing process. This part is about concentrating on my health and supporting my own recovery. No one can do that for you. Understanding our limitations is not a weakness! Adaptation by trial and error. What works, what doesn't and concentrate on what does work for you. Forgive yourself for not being up to task. I know it's hard to believe that it's is a gift. It is a strength and a gift to be able to face the tough stuff. We get to see the world we live in another way opposed to those entrenched in the rat race. It's not about fitting in society. It's about taking your space, finding your power and place; just as you are. I no longer feel that I'm missing out in life. I'm working on healing myself. I haven't lost the war, I'm just taking a breather. So go on ahead, I'll catch up eventually. This dang boulder won't stop rolling down the hill. Hold on, I'll go get another boulder to stop this one...

#brain injury survivor #survive mental illness #rehabilitation recovery #chronic illness missing out #coping with energy managment #emotional support #How to cope with cop out #understanding mental illness #on the spectrum #how to love yourself

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joonyverse · 6 years

Text

(extra)ordinary. - Baekhyun (EXO)

Summary: It all begin when a law student met a young CEO at a courtroom. So many questions went through each other’s mind, yet neither ask each other the question. You’re now have graduated, desperate for jobs, but what would you do when you meet the CEO at the homicide case trial again after a year?

A/N: Hello! As my apology, Idk, I get the idea for this one out of nowhere and had the urge to write it, I’m kinda... impulsive hhhh

Genre: Rom-com? Fluff, a little bit of angst

Warning: Age-gap, curses, Grammar mistakes, bad english probably

CEO!Baekhyun x Fem Reader

masterlist

The ring of your alarm filling the room. The sunlight from outside was creeping through the gap between the curtains. The disturbances cause you to slowly going back to the reality from the dreamland. You scrunch your eyes, groaning. The pounding pain in your head was also coming back, which cause you to groan loaded.

Roughly, you reach for the alarm, desperate to turn the thing off. You cursed yourself for drinking too much the night before.

But then, you remember the event you have today. You jolt in your bed, quickly getting up. “No no no, I’ll be late to the court!” You said as you get up from your bed in hurry.

You are in your last year as law student. You had to come to the court for your essay and all. It’s surely a bother to go to the court here and there, but then again, you got to graduate.

With every effort you gave to at least look decent, you hurriedly come to the court. You know you probably look a mess but you couldn’t careless, you came for the experience not for the impression.

Quietly, you enter the courtroom, not wanting to cause disturbance with the ongoing trial. You took a seat at the back row, beside a man that you don’t know and don’t care about, trying not to attract any attention. You put your bag on the floor, in front of you, and your notes and pen on your lap. You silently took notes of the trial.

Suddenly, the man beside you scooted closer towards you. You noticed, but you paid him no mind.

The man stares at you and at your notes back and forth. In your peripheral vision, you can see him having a smile on his face, but you weren’t sure.

“Are you a law student?” He whispered loud enough for you to hear.

At the interest the man giving you, you stop writing. You look at your side, staring at the man. His eyes was focus on the trial that’s going on. “Are you asking me?” You ask. You felt stupid for asking that, of course he was asking you.

“No, I’m asking the defendant” he said, with his eyes looking at the witness.

You stare at him in confusion.

“Of course I’m asking you, silly” he said with a sweet smile on. You swore this man got the sweetest smile, and you don’t even know him.

“Oh, I am” you said as you continue writing. As attractive as the man was, you have your future waiting on, you have to continue the note.

The man turned his head towards you. He gives you a smile again, despite your lack of attention. Suddenly, he reached for something inside his blazer.

Without saying anything, he slide a name card into your notes. You stopped writing. You turned your head to the side towards the man. When you did though, the man was already got up from the seat leaving the courtroom. You can only watch him leaving the courtroom.

Your focus turned back towards the note that has the name card in it.

B Inc.

Byun Baekhyun

CEO

That was written on the name card. Your eyes widened in bewilderment. ‘That man was a CEO?!’ You thought. You can only wonder what was he doing in a courtroom of a trial of homicide case.

1 year later

It was almost late at night, yet the cafe still feels very alive. Some people are chatting, some are drowning in their works with a cup of coffee. You watch every each one of them from the cashier booth. Despite not much customer came in anymore, the cafe is still packed with the previous customers. While resting, you were looking through your resume, making sure everything is in place.

As you were checking things out, you hear the ring of the door ringing, signalling that someone was entering the cafe. You immediately got up from the seat and welcome the customer.

“Welcome to Universe Cafe! May I take your order?” You greeted with a smile. Your head lifted from the monitor as soon as you said that.

What, or may I say, Who was in front of you was totally come as unexpected for you. Your eyes widened. Could he remember you?

“One americano, please” Baekhyun said as he reaching for his wallet, his eyes were on his feet. Then he looked up. A smile making its way towards his face. “Oh? You’re that law student!” He said.

You, who were typing on the monitor, immediately look up hearing his words. Some part in you felt happy that he indeed remember. You can’t help but gave him a bright smile. This was probably your today’s highlight.

“Aren’t you that CEO?” You asked, still with a smile on.

Baekhyun chuckled lightly. His eyes stares at you in amazement. “Didn’t know you change your career choice to be a… barista?” he said.

You rubbed the back of your neck, feeling a little bit embarrassed. “Uh… no, it’s just my part time job while I’m looking for a job… i gotta pay my rent you know” you said, followed by an awkward chuckle. It’s hard not to feel small talking about your truth in front of a CEO.

He let out a little ‘Oh’ hearing your answer. It’s like he suddenly he comes back from his trance, he immediately pay for the coffee and sat at the bar near the barista booth.

Your shift ended in 10 minutes, and you just can’t wait to go home. You’ve been lacking of sleep lately. You keep doing job interviews here and there during the day, work at the cafe during the night, and you continue to study more once you’re home. It’s a proof that despite being graduated, jobs are still hard to find. Your part time job barely pays your rent, you can’t help but still depend on the allowance your parents gave you, and you’re very glad for it.

Finally your shift ended. You went into the staff room to change your clothes. You greeted the barista for the next shift who just came. “Have a good night, y/n” she said to you. Feeling too tired, you gave her a tired smile and a pat on her back.

As soon as you leave the barista booth, a hand comes to grab you. Your head turns toward the owner of the hand. “Ah, you’re still here?” you asked Baekhyun.

“Let me take you home” he said, his voice serious.

You raised an eyebrow in confusion. But seems like Baekhyun took your silence in the wrong way. “No! Don’t worry, I really only gonna drive you home! that’s all!” he explained in hurry.

You chuckled at his flustered state. “I know, I didn’t misunderstand, but don’t worry, I can go home by myself” you said. You put your hand on top of his that still holding your other hand, trying to take his hand off yours. But to your surprise, he only held it tighter.

“Please, I’ll only worry if I don’t drive you home” he pleaded. He look at you with puppy-eyes look. How can you say no to this puppy man?

You smiled, “Sure, if it doesn’t burden you” you said with a shrug.

Baekhyun smiled widely. He immediately drag you to his car, by the hand that he was holding.

You sat beside him, at the passenger seat. His eyes are focused on the road. For some minutes, the ride was silent, not an awkward silence but a rather peaceful one. Your eyes wander. His car is surely a nice imported car, an expensive one that maybe you could never afford, and it smelt nice. Your eyes can’t help but wander towards him, towards the hand on the gear lever, the watch on his hand that was glamorous and accentuate the veins on his hand even more that surely did something to you, and then to his face, that has the focus expression painting it, he’s just… breathtakingly beautiful.

“Sweetheart, it’s rude to stare” he said, followed by a smirk.

You immediately look away. You were flustered. You can feel your blood rushing to your cheeks. “I- I wasn’t staring” you stuttered. You were so embarrassed to got caught redhanded.

Baekhyun turned his head towards you and then he smiled. “cute” he muttered, he made sure he mutter it loud enough for you to hear.

You… in no doubt heard that. You are sure you are as red as a tomato at this point. You thanked god it was dark. You cleared your throat, trying to stop your heart from beating too fast. “I thought you’d have a chauffeur or something” you said.

“Oh? The office got me one, but I prefer to drive by myself” he shrugged. You saw that he hesitated a little bit before answering, but you decide not to press about it any further.

“y/n?” he said.

Your head turned towards him. “You know my name?” you asked in curiosity.

He chuckled. “Of course I do, it was written on your name tag” he said.

You gave him a little Oh, feeling a little bit embarrassed.

“Work for me” he suddenly said, caught you off guard.

“I’m sorry, what?” you asked.

“I said, work for me” he said. He turned his head towards you. He put his hand on top of yours which was on your lap. His eyes staring right into you.

“Please”, he added.

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the-static-silence-of-pastels · 5 years

Text

Can a Heart Still Love, Even If It’s Stopped Beating?

Word Count: 5900+ (written in 4hrs from 1-4 AM, have mercy on my grammar and mistakes.)

Warnings: Gore for a bit, then just a lot of angst with a sort of happy ending (depends on who you ask). Not sure if there are any other things I need to flag, so I’ll let you be the judge of that.

There’s an unscratchable itch within him. A little left of his spine, underneath the skin of his pectoral. It’s been there since that morning, but the build has been going on for months. The itch has reached what he assumes is its peak, but he knew he’d never be sure of that. God, he hopes this is the peak. This stupid itch, so hard to scratch and get rid of, that’s been leaving him frustrated for months. But it’s something he can’t reach, something buried under skin and bone.

He feels like screaming some days. Letting out all the fury trapped within that bides its time alongside the itch. And if the fury and frustration alone didn’t drive him to the brink of insanity, the feeling sure would. He can just imagine, though it’s not his forte, what is causing the itch. Maybe it’s some kind of abnormal vessel but going on for this long would mean his death. Perhaps it’s just a stupid prank that’s been left to simmer under his skin and drive him to the foulest of moods. Better yet it could be what it feels like; thousands of tiny insects crawling around, burrowing towards the skin as if they were…

He allows that thought to trail off. Such horrid conceptions are not his field, nor will they ever be. He is resolute in such things. And yet the feeling has only been building. It’s as if he’s dipping a toe, no, his torso into the river of madness that must flood Remus’ mind.

And right on cue the tinnitus appears. He never realised it before, but it seems to appear when his thoughts fade into that direction. The direction of seemingly inescapable insanity looped around mindless madness, entangling themselves like a series of knotted snakes. Twisting, writhing, slithering to escape, and yet unable to.

He feels a little lightheaded. Maybe death has finally come for him and will spare him of this horrid itching. Or maybe it’s just his imagination. Either way he would welcome a death right now. It’s as if he can see nothing, hear nothing, feel nothing, and yet the ringing intensifies tenfold and the itching, oh the itching, the scraping of whatever inside is causing such discomfort-

‘Hey, Mensa dropout! Your line.’

Right, that’s right. The video.

‘You can’t…you can’t drop out of Mensa. Mensa isn’t a school or a college, you can’t drop out of it. Are you talking about that album by MC Motyčka?’

‘At least we got you back, cicada three-three-oh-snore. And no, I wasn’t. Just read the damn lines.’

Yeah, like that isn’t a chore right now. Where are we, where-are-we, wherearewe? Ah, there. Now I just have to make the words stop swimming. Line up, line up. Damn it. And he’s tapping his foot, of course. Look if you think you’ve got troubles, try being me prince bull-

‘Are you sure these are my lines?’

He looks so angry. Oh, like you’re such a peach to work with.

‘Yes. They are your lines.’

Lots of emphasis. Must be pretty pissed off. I don’t think I can do this right now. Let’s see if Patton’s pity card will get me out of this.

‘I don’t exactly feel up to par. Could we perhaps-’

‘Oh teach, what’s wrong? What’s got you feeling so bad? Are you sick? What’s up?’

Nice, now here come the questions. I can do this, just get them off the trail.

‘I’m in perfect health. I just think that, especially at this time, it may be a good point for us to turn in. It’s far past when we usually stop, and we can pick up perfectly well tomorrow morning. I don’t see why we must record so much tonight. And as the prince of perfectionism, I thought it a good point to bring up.’

God, he looks so infuriated. Serves you right for cutting my lines, bastard.

‘Fine, fine! We’ll pick it up tomorrow, but you better be on your game, Logan.’

‘Will do, Roman.’

Ah tension, how I have missed you. Didn’t feel like a real day until you showed your ugly, repulsive, disgusting face.

He lets his shoulders drop minutely, all the better to seem like he’s actually tired. He won’t be able to sleep though. The itch is too bad today, if he tried there’d be absolutely no way, he’d get further than laying on his bed in a mass of writhing agony.

But agony would be the right word, wouldn’t it? The itch has grown, quickly and unlike any of the other days. Now the itch has manifested itself as a burning, but that’s growing and evolving from a burning to an intense jabbing, like something is poking the inside of his skin and tracing the tip of a dagger over something so incredibly sensitive that he can’t quite quantify how painful it’s becoming and that’s a problem because emotions aren’t his forte and he can’t show pain and he can’t show weakness and-

Enough. He needs to get out before they notice something is amiss. Clean up this mess, turn off the camera and make sure everything is neat and tidy before running away from this like all his other problems. He doesn’t need their pity, their worry, all of that will only morph into concern over his position. He’ll become redundant in a heartbeat if they find out he’s imagining pains and itching under his skin. It can’t be right because imagination isn’t his forte, and none of this lines up with who he is.

But it could go the other way. They’d coddle him – Patton and Virgil – and he’d get nothing done. Not like he’d been getting anything done anyway; but that’s for him to know, not for them to know. He’d never tell them though; they’d find out over his dead body. Or whatever happens when the pain stops. Death. Maybe he’ll live, but that’s not so likely. Pain is usually fatal. At least in most cases, but he has justifiable reasons to be worried for himself.

No use being morbid. Remus would be just as upset as Roman if he knew you were stepping on his turf.

‘L?’ Was he too quiet? Virgil doesn’t speak up often and when he does, and with that sort of accusation in his eyes, it’s usually important. And if anyone else hears they might pay attention. But what clues would he have to accuse him of something being amiss. No, Virgil had nothing. No proof of anything.

‘You good? You’ve been staring at that camera for, like, a full minute. Mind somewhere else?’ thank whatever God they prayed to.

‘Fine, sorry, got a little lost in thought. Something I can help you with?’ please say no, please say no. Let me off this one time so I can get over this pain and be ready for tomorrow and this stupid script.

Virgil shook his head just a little, but it was enough of a wary gesture to warrant a head tilt before he had turned around and sunk out. He felt like sighing for that.

Camera, away. Good my part all done. Let’s motor.

God that’s painful.

He’d never really been big on praying, but right about now felt like a good time to make amends as the pain ascended quickly from pricking and burning to an almighty searing. It wasn’t quite to the level of him wanting to rip his skin off, but it was getting close. Not quite screaming to the high heavens, but around the stage of tugging at his hair with no end in sight.

Maybe it’s something on my chest. Just get it off and take a look. That was what he’d tell himself and then never have the courage to do. He couldn’t really blame himself, but then again, he could. It was his mind after all. He could do whatever he wanted.

God, he sounded crazy.

Okay, yeah no. That was not good. The pain had intensified tenfold in the space of a few seconds and he was at that stage of ripping out his own hair and allowing tears to slip down his face. His breathing grew heavy, the ringing came back, everything fading out to black though he was still conscious.

The torturous pain was synonymous with nothing else he’d ever felt before. Greater than breaking a bone and enough to make him loose and not be able to regain his breath. How anyone was able to survive this was beyond him. It was like someone had taken a metal sea urchin to his chest and was pressing it into his skin from within, rolling it around inside that cavity that housed his heart and lungs. Burning, ripping, blinding pain. At least they got one part right in songs and stories, it was blinding. Blacked out vision aside, he could still feel the ground beneath him, feel his shirt and tie and clothing. Time to find out what was making it so damn hard to breathe. If it wasn’t something on his chest, maybe he could see something within his chest.

After ripping his tie away and bunching his shirt up and over his head he had a moment of clarity as his glasses fell off, able to pick them up with precisely no spots in his line of sight. For a moment he felt relief, but that quickly faded as he summoned a mirror, heard a loud gagging behind him and saw straight through the heart shaped hole in his chest as behind him Roman doubled over in shock and horror.

That would explain the lack of breath.

Yeah, the bleeding, still wet hole shaped like a heart symbol that cut right through his chest and out the back, taking out a few pieces of his ribs and moving his left lung over. Yeah, that would definitely explain the lack of breath.

They did always call me heartless. Guess they were right. But he wasn’t heartless, wasn’t supposed to be at least. People need hearts, they do a lot of things. That’s right, isn’t it? People need hearts. Those organs that are about a handful and oxygenate the blood and keep it all flowing. Yeah, they’re needed. So why was his missing? Why couldn’t he see straight, or breathe anymore? He needed to breathe, but he couldn’t. What was stopping…oh, right. He was missing his heart.

It took less than a minute for Logan to crumple to the floor. Dead and missing one of his more important organs for living. Blood leeched out of the hole, staining the carpet a deep and wet crimson as hollow breathing grew shallow and the only witness was left pale and shaking against the wall.

He’d come to yell at Logan, tell him off for stopping their progress. He hadn’t imagined their last words to be that of a tiff not a few minutes prior. Nor did he imagine he’d be holding the now bloodied corpse of someone he’d be willing to call friend on a good day, which were most days but that was beside the point.

He didn’t even notice the tears streaming down his cheeks, noticing only when one dropped onto the pale chest, stained with blood and now stained with tears. But even with all that blood he couldn’t bring himself to care as he lay his forehead against the carcass of what used to be a living, breathing Logan. He could hardly breathe, hardly do anything but sob and cry as eventually he raised his head and began his pleas. It would always come down to this, to the pleading of life. No bargain would ever be struck to bring someone back form the dead, but he had hope. And even if he didn’t, he’d plead; because he couldn’t handle going on with this as the last memory he had of their logic.

Worry and fear brought Virgil, love and concern brought Patton. The pleading for life brought an idea.

‘Remus,’ choked and tearful, less filled with the venom it usually had and more filled with a kind of hopeless desire, ‘Remus, get out here.’

It wasn’t a plea that needed to be made twice. Once was enough to bring the usually sickly smiling side out with a sombre and emotionless gaze that lingered too long on the body for the brother’s liking. But he wasn’t about to leave his position. His post, his protective stance in the matter, lest Logan fade away or suddenly vanish; however stupid that may sound to another.

‘You’re good at this, aren’t you? You twisted little bastard. Make him a heart.’ It was a command. One none of them could refuse the call for.

With a nod, four steps and a single sweep into a crouch the tedious night began. A night that brought with it many retries, many close calls for violence between brothers, much blood lost, but finally a result came.

Pulsing in place, gently covered by the left lung and ribs, flesh restitching itself back together, they found what they so desired.

And so, they waited. Night turned to dawn, to day, to afternoon, to dusk, to night again. Whether it was out of love for the other or hatred for himself, the prince kept by the teacher’s side whilst the others worked around him. Cleaning, fixing, making it new and better. Logan would hate to wake up to a mess. Hate it.

Night became dawn again and still the vigil, a hollowed-out man, kept watch as breath was pushed and pulled from the newly repaired body. The hollow man, the tear stained prince, the ever-watchful protector of a cherished friend; no one dared to move him. No one dared to speak to him. He didn’t eat, speak, move. He barely moved his eyes from the sight before him, and yet they knew he could keep it up for as long as he cared to. They weren’t human, after all. They could survive on nothing and still thrive if their being wasn’t set in…logic.

It was a touchy and uncomfortable few days before the stirrings of a lighter sleep brought them cheer. How wonderful, how enticing, how enchanting to see some life, any life, stir from the sleeping side. No longer comatose, or not for long at least. And finally they were able to drag him away, teary and crying with an expression near ecstasy on his face, they were able to pull the last vestige of Roman from the body and get him back to where there was no death for him to be reminded of what had happened.

The subject would be one of discomfort for all of them, no side had ever come so close to vanishing form their lives before, figures the one so steeped in curious nature would be the first to try it out. How it happened, they didn’t know. Did they care? Absolutely not. Logan was on the verge of waking, of being alive once more, and they couldn’t think of the details of his close quarters encounter with whatever psychopomp that lured him to the edge right now.

Death had been a touchy subject before, taboo nearly, but now it would remain taboo for all of them forever. It wasn’t a word that conjured kind images anymore. No lifeless bodies looking serene in caskets ready to be buried six feet under. They’d be haunted by this death until they died themselves. As if that couldn’t happen soon enough now.

Sleeping would be just as bad. To know that he could very well have died in his sleep just after they’d figured out how to give him a heart back, well, sleep would always be a reminder of what could have been lost. Sleep for them seemed too still, too lifeless, too comatose for their liking. Sure, Logan hadn’t been sleeping when he die- had his close encounter. But the days following, where he could still be considered on the brink, where he still looked dead despite not having the hole and lack of a beating heart. Sleep was just too close to that. For all of them.

This wouldn’t be an issue they took lightly. And despite not having seen or heard from Remus or Deceit since they got Logan back online, they knew well and truly neither of them would dig too deep or go too far after this. Before this Remus took death too lightly in the case of friends and family, but it was uncertain how he would deal with those intrusive thoughts now, having seen and been in charge of bringing back someone so clearly dead to the world. Deceit was a different matter, not having shown up until a little after Remus. How he’d reacted was a mystery, leaving the second he saw the body. But they’d find out eventually, it would all come out eventually.

Logan woke up properly a day later, coming to while under Virgil’s care. It made the usually surly side light up for once, seeing the same set of gentle oak hues shine once more with life and awareness, in some aspect. Watching them close was no longer so heartbreaking, rather the peace that resumed was steadily making it up to the top of his list as one of his favourite things to see on the other sides. And with that he deemed it necessary to call on the others and tell them the good news, others including those who weren’t there along with those who helped out.

And that was how his gratitude towards Remus turned to despair at what news awaited the three still caring for Logan. Each allowing it to sink in as the weight it came with snagged their hearts and dragged them down to the depths of despair. How they were supposed to function was beyond them. Lacking one side they’d grown to adore and love in the way they had would be nearly enough to break each of them wide open.

The news, heartbreaking that is was, was brought to them by a regretful and mournful Deceit. Something they’d never seen and hoped to never see again. Remus, fearful and tired, kept quiet as Deceit explained their situation. As Remus was the one to create the heart, were he to forget it Logan would inevitably end up with the same fate as before. Therefore, Logan was tied to Remus in a way none of them had foreseen. Without around the clock reminding, Remus could forget, and Logan would die again, possibly to be resurrected again, but only if they could get to him in time as they had done this time. It was only, and Deceit had hesitated at that point, logical for Logan to come with them and remain in a place where Remus would always remember the act of creation he had approved.

Logan would move into Remus’ room, or he would die.

It was an idea that shocked them to the core. Froze their blood in place and chilled their bodies like frostbite. To have such a weight tied around his neck, to send Logan off without giving him a chance, it was something they had never wanted. He’d be cared for, yes, but he’d become a part of the little group that formed in rebellion of what they’d come together as. And he had no choice in the matter.

It was entirely unfair. Roman pleaded hopelessly against it, wishing he could take on Remus’ burden but knowing he couldn’t. Patton didn’t try to plead his case; he could barely talk let alone make an argument against their rock-solid logic. Virgil, well, grief will do things to a person and the five stages were not something meant to be passed through in the space of ten seconds, only for one to become stuck in place. The rage pouring off the surly side was enough to make those able to comprehend it back up, knowing he could go off at any second as Roman shed tears and Patton sat still and strangely emotionless on the couch. To gain him back only to lose him again, what cruel karma was this that had become their lives and pursued them to the point of madness.

When at last they parted ways, it was decided and over. Logan would know in due time, but they still had a few days until then. He needed strength, to stand up to the horrors that would await him.

They bid farewell in their own ways when he finally regained consciousness. After telling him of his death and their plight to bring him back they spent a few hours consoling him. Coddling what had become a shell so quickly they could barely blink between the phases. And yet they continued, they stayed. They’d seen it all in each other and couldn’t bring themselves to do much more than stay by his side as memories flashed through his eyes like a car speeding down a highway, images of the outside flashing through windows and leaving as quickly as they’d come.

It was all they could do. Sit and wait until he was in the right mindset to talk to them about it. Between themselves they’d taken to dubbing it as ‘The Incident’. A catchy name, for sure, but one that would forever haunt the insides of their eyelids.

And when at last he seemed to have brought himself to sense, to have realised he had a new lease on life, to know he was free from what bound him; then they told him of his new bonds, new shackles, new chains that would drag him away from them and to a world new and unfamiliar to him. A world that would take from him and ask for more eternally, a world that was like theirs but with no comfort, a world without them.

‘So, it would be as if I’d truly died, then?’

Those words made them choke. Spoken so casually with so little care for those around him and the trials he’d been through. Greif may have been a somewhat selfish process, but it was their process that had involved him. But they didn’t have the strength to yell or scream at him; because he was right. As he’d always been.

‘My condolences on your loss, I suppose.’

It was supposed to be humorous, but it only brought watery laughs that were too fake in all the right ways. How he was able to process this so well was beyond them, perhaps he’d seen what lay beyond the mortal realm, what he’d been forced to give up to come back. Maybe there was comfort there, but his eyes were haunted, ghostly. Whatever he’d seen had not been paradise.

‘What was there?’ came the question, courtesy of Patton, but it was something they all wished to know.

Wry was his smile when he answered, dark and gaunt, ‘nothing.’

With the waking came the chains. Not physical or literal, but they were chains, nonetheless. Remus and Deceit came to escort Logan not three days after he awoke, dubbing that a suitable amount of time for the three to bid their farewells to their fourth. They allowed a moment of tears and anguish, Logan trapped within the embrace of three sides as the heart he’d been given pulsed with life and grief. Today he’d lose something great and wonderful and gain something horrid and abominable.

They waved him off, each half chasing after him before being reigned in with the knowledge it was for his own good. A sacrifice of his life for which he was given life. A twist in their tale together that would render their friendship null and void. He’d never be able to leave, and they’d never be able to gain entry. Though perhaps Remus could be persuaded, if not by them than by Roman. Regardless of future plans to sneak into a world not their own, the trio waved off Logan and Logan was led into the darkness.

He closed his eyes against it, not wanting to let it in at first. But as it became apparent, he wouldn’t be able to move forward without his eyes being open, he decided to allow that to happen. It was his hope he could withstand what was thrown at him, what horrors awaited him within Remus’ room.

As they continued on their walk, both sides used to the walk ahead of the one not used to it, the one not used to it noticed something peculiar. A large blot of white light that only grew as they advanced, a doorway of some sort or cave entrance that called them forward. And, stupid as he was, he stepped through it after his guides.

And he blinked back against the harsh light that blinded him. The sun was warm and bright, the world around him the same. So bright was it that he began to think they’d walked into Roman’s room by mistake, that the gentle breezes and sunshine soft and warm, was the work of the creativity he knew and not the one he’d followed. And yet his guides seemed comfortable here, turning to him as if expecting something of him.

He merely blinked back at them, hoping they would say something before he made both fool and ass of himself.

‘Do you like it?’ came the first of many questions to come, a gentle one offered by Remus. And unsure of how to respond, Logan nodded. Not quite following what they meant.

‘He spent hours in here making it right for you. This will be your lobby as a sort, but a more picturesque room awaits you yonder,’ murmured the mellowed tones of Deceit, far from what he was used to but a side to the half-faced side he would not forget seeing.

As promised to him he found his room. From a door carved into a tree he emerged into a field of flowers and mirror glazed ponds. Each echoing a similar sentiment of beauty and belonging. This room, so far reserved from Remus’ usual creations, must have taken many hours to be crafted by himself. Perhaps help was offered and taken from Deceit, but by the sound of it the room was made for him by Remus alone. A great effort if the multicoloured flowers and even temperance of the sun was to be taken into account.

‘For you. If you must stay close and here, I would have it no other way,’ came gently spoken words. Words that echoed and radiated with a calm that was unheard of and nary seen from such a mass producer of madness as Remus, ‘a new start, for a new side.’

It certainly felt like it. A brand-new room decorated like a perfect world where nothing could harm or cause him pain. This world was his own to explore and take note of, and it would take a while to do so. But his heart yearned for the others, and he voiced as such with a simple longing look to the ground. They could not visit this place. This was his and his alone and as such no one could enter; truly, he’d left Remus and Deceit at the door.

But this was still within Remus’ room. He was to be a permanent guest. No longer given the freedoms he once had and secluded to a room he could exit from but never truly leave. A home as beautiful as it was lonely.

‘I know they cannot come here, but Roman can come to my room and as such you could see him in the lobby. That is, if you so wish it.’

Who had spoken such words of wonder was beyond Logan, all that mattered was the words and the meaning they held. To be able to see just one of them again would be heaven, to know he was not so truly alone as to be secluded for eternity before death. Tension would be long gone between them. Lifetimes apart, to be sure. And if they fought it would be hard to break what had been set in place by the departure of his life from the mortal realm.

Roman may not have been his first choice, but he was still a friend, still someone he cared for and loved. It was something he could agree to wholeheartedly.

‘Please,’ a whispered plea that didn’t fall on deaf ears. It would be their pleasure to do what he asked of them, after all they’d just barely brought him back to life. Remus was the djinn in his pocket now, whatever he asked for, Remus would provide without hesitation.

The first meeting went about as well as one would expect. With a shout from royalty and a cry of joy from a usually composed scholar. Their reunion brought tears to their eyes along with a great deal of smiling. They didn’t fight or argue and kept everything happy and civil. This was where Logan could connect to the world outside his room, and the only place Roman could get just and wise advice. Their meeting ended with tears and the promise that Roman would return every week with as best a report as he could give, offering a single hug before vanishing from the room and leaving Logan alone once more.

The second of their meetings was less civil. With work piling up and no way for Logan to help them, the group had become rather swamped, but with a little planning done during their meeting, Roman returned both saddened and with a schedule that was sure to work all of their needs into it. It only made them yearn to see him greater.

Third. The supposed unlucky encounter was just that. The schedule was being overwritten for their needs and wants, and they’d not a judge to fairly decide who would get what time. Roman complained their entire meeting, and later recalled that Logan listened with a tender smile and saddened eyes. Any contact with them would be good contact for him, and Roman supposed Logan had begun to miss their antics and arguing by now.

So, their fourth visit together he brought a present. A recording of them rehearsing the new video and them working in bits they hoped would make him happy. They did. Roman spent much of their time together holding the resurrected side with one arm, holding him close as he wept tears of joy and sadness into the white coat.

The meetings continued on in a similar fashion and pattern. Every few days Roman would enter Remus’ room with permission and meet up with Logan to go over what he could of what went on outside the room before leaving with a hug and a promise to return. Every time the prince returned to his room near tears, frustrated and in emotional turmoil over the fact he couldn’t help Logan more than he was. He admitted that the visits were good for them both, but the tension between himself and the other sides only seemed to grow the closer he became with Logan.

The more he vanished off to speak with the logical side, the more they grew jealous of this opportunity he’d been given. The wedge driven between them had left a small mark at first, but that was growing rapidly with no hope of getting smaller. He needed Logan to be there with him, needed Patton and Virgil to come to Remus’ room with him. Being the messenger was only good for so long before war broke out between them and with no logic in sight they’d tear each other apart at the seams.

With a heavy heart he concluded it was Logan or Patton and Virgil. So, in his hour of need, he came to the one he knew would be impartial. And Logan chose for Roman to remain with the other sides. It would be torture not seeing one another, but it was better than knowing they were the cause of the imminent collapse of Thomas psyche.

Patton and Virgil found him, teary and unresponsive to them on the couch and watching a movie they’d all decided never to watch ever again. It took no less than turning off the player and shaking Roman a good seven times for him to finally show signs of noticing their appearance in his personal space. It took much less for him to spill the beans and tell them what had brought him to such a low. And it took them all of five seconds to realise there was no winning. They wanted to see Logan, Roman could at will. They grew jealous easily, Roman felt the burden of this upon him and thus passed it to Logan. If they agree to let him see Logan again the cycle would return and continue. And then Roman told them of a meeting that sparked their interest.

A few days later Roman came to them with a soft smile and a recording on his phone. The message played on a loop for them, a familiar face echoing back sentiments of sadness and love before Roman’s shaky camerawork came to the forefront and became an opportunity to see something all rarely saw; a laugh. Unfiltered, unedited, unchanged. A loud, proud, joyful laugh with nothing in the way. A sign out and then repeat.

That became their way of communication; recorded video. In a way it was a long-distance relationship, but instead of a computer or phone, they had Roman and a phone. The messages were saved to a hard drive, there was no way either party was letting go of those memories.

With Roman as courier they knew they were getting the truth, neither Remus nor Deceit saw to stop them and in each they began to notice he gradual changes. The more emotive side of an unemotional robot. The darker mourning side of a happy-go-lucky sunflower. The loving side of someone who swore off breaking down his barriers. And a gentle and soft side to the brash and loud prince. It was a new time, a new life for them. As if on that day they’d died with Logan and been resurrected with him. This was their chance at a new life, and they took it.

Time rolled on, each day passing like the last until something came to them; a spark unlike anything they’d encountered in their little world. A spark that burned a passionate red and understanding blue. And how could they not agree to it when confessions were sprouted, and once broken bridges were mended. They could see one another; they had fallen for one another. And it was good. It was approved, adored, accepted. And slowly they drifted away, two sides unable to see the last of their group as he moved, slowly but surely, pulled towards the one he loved. How could they stand against that? Who could stand against that?

When at last their third was no longer with them it was as if he’d become a distant memory, foggy and unrecognisable. What he’d once been and what he now was, were two things so different it was hard to imagine they’d been the same person at all. But they were and they were attached to another.

In their minds they questioned it, but they knew the answer to their question. Can a heart still love, even if it’s stopped beating? Yes, it can.

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