#i am barely holding back from making a very long post about that scene alone

[aceoflights]

Cause I've seen some people say it. Colin has zero reason to think that coming out to the team would be safe for him.

[cboffshore]

Sorrow Is All The Rage: A (Relatively) Brief Update

No special trigger warnings apply beyond those in previous parts of this essay. If you have not read those yet, here are links to Part One and Part Two, which are necessary parts of the following essay.

Welcome back to the break room.

It's quiet here today - everyone is off celebrating the office's founding anniversary. There's the usual stuff on the table: half full packs of napkins, extra plastic cutlery, backup packs of soda, and one dead canary.

Next to the birdcage - containing, of course, the usual black-inked brown paper shroud - is a little note: we've moved the party to the courtyard! come join us for some special fun as we celebrate another year!

Okay. Why don't you step outside, then?

So you do. You step into the sun, the breeze, and for a few minutes, things are fine! While you're sipping a small glass of punch, you think, huh. Not sure why they'd put the birdcage in the break room if everyone is out here, but maybe this'll just be a normal -

A glint catches your eye from down the lawn. You hear wings flapping from the same direction, surrounded by the din of a group of people and... cheers. The person who told you that canary was dead all along slips into the circle, holding what you think is a knife glaring in the daylight.

You don't even bother to fact check that. Based on the familiar faces of the dead canary enjoyers standing there, and the rising cheers and the wings beating like petals against a palm, well. You can guess what's about to happen, and you know you can't take it, so back inside you go, and once again you wonder: why are you so bothered about it?

From your cubicle window, you watch other people shuffle away from the corner where the canary waits to die yet again. Clearly, you're not the only one upset. And clearly, it's not against the rules here - they're doing it at a company party! There are managers in there, people you trust, watching and cheering as the thing you feared happens - at least, as near as you can tell from this distance.

You knew it was coming. They didn't hide it. You followed the signs right in, hoping.

So why does it still hurt?

----------------

Before I get into this properly, a disclaimer, because I wasn't clear enough last time I updated this essay: this is not an attack on the author of when you think you're all alone, the fic that I'm talking about here. It is also not an attack on the fic itself.

I repeat: I mean no harm. I mean no insult. This is me venting, which is why it may come off sharp at times. At most, this is criticism - not necessarily constructive, but also not meant as a personal attack. I am examining the scene as a whole and feel the need to update my stance on WYTYAA after its most recent update, because I feel that this fic occupies a very important spot in the scene, and I would be remiss not to make that clear.

One more time: This is a vent. This is not an attack.

Before I continue, kindly answer this comprehension check:

Excellent. If you selected YES, please DM me and explain your answer, if you're so inclined.

Anyway: this essay won't be anywhere near as long as the previous sections. I wrote it on my phone over the course of a few hours, because if I dwell on this too long, I fear I'll get impossibly nasty. However, in the wake of the latest WYTYAA update on January 14, I want to update and clarify my stance on the work as an analyst of the Skybound fic scene.

I will open by saying that I barely made it a quarter of the way into chapter seven before tapping out. The only reason I opened it at all and stepped into the courtyard, so to speak, was because I had heard that it would be Nya-centric. Given the usual balance of Nya-centric work, I thought that might mean a welcome change (and a distraction from the October retcon). Maybe, I thought, it would be fine.

To be fair: I don't think the author retconned in anything beyond mild SA for Nya. However, working my way into the outer edges of the chapter, I could feel my enthusiasm deflating - because I'd seen all the talking points before, in some form or another. The uncomfortable touches, the weirdly detailed fear of what Nadakhan might have done to Nya had the final battle failed, the night terrors. Well, at least it was Nya-centric -

And then there came the Jay angst. That's when I switched to scanning, which saved me precious time. It became obvious early on that somehow, chapter seven had managed to make the entire fic into the average of the entire SA trend I railed against in the previous parts of this essay. In the interest of not spoiling it for anyone who would like to go and read it themselves, I won't say anything, except for that it is exactly what you would expect from the comedown of a Jay SA Skybound work: night terrors and scars and flashbacks and team members throwing concerned comments and shades of therapy dog Nya. Any goodness I remember from the injured canary of the last segment went down like acid now that I could see what it built to.

I quit before I passed the three-quarters point on the scroll bar. If the October retcon was one nail in the coffin, chapter seven was a whole hardware store poured on my head.

In short: no longer worth my reader's time. It solidified so much of what disappoints me about the Skybound fic scene and the runaway fanonization of Jay's suffering.

That's why I'm writing this:to tell you that I have made the decision to leave WYTYAA in the rearview. I will not be reading the finale, whatever that may entail. I have already deleted my bookmarks.

In the previous essay section, I labeled WYTYAA as a seminal piece of work in the scene. I still believe that it is an important piece of Skybound fanfiction. But now, I view its seminal status as an undergrad getting their general education credits would see the writings of Freud. If you've ever taken a psych course, you were probably handed something Freudian to study, then learned of the controversy around his works. Still, there was probably an important note in there: Freud's work itself is not something everyone agrees with, and in fact is rather flawed in hindsight, but his work is influential enough on the world of psychology to be a crucial lesson in Psychology 101.

Is WYTYAA essential reading to understand the scene as a whole? Yes, to a degree - it is at minimum a shortcut to understanding most of the trends and watching them in action. WYTYAA is relentless like that, and I do still admire the dedication it takes to write something that long and keep a reader base hooked. Read as a summary of the entire fic scene at once, this is an incredible work.

By no means am I presenting myself as the sole authority on this topic, by the way - but then again, nobody else I know has tried to do this sort of meta trend analysis in any capacity for this specific topic. So I'm stuck with me, and you are too, if you'd like to be.

And maybe you don't care, but I do. A lot.

In the wake of me giving up on the chapter, I opened Tumblr and was bombarded with excitement for the chapter, and praise for the angst capacity, and all sorts of things - the crowd reenacting the death of the canary at the company party. I saw Mondo's promotional post, which in past weeks I might have left a like on, but I just. Could. Not.

Now we're here.

What does it all mean?

Well, recently, the topic of SA insertion in Skybound has come up a lot. I've been part of some some incredible discussions; I've seen a few scuffles. It's died down some, with only minor flare-ups here and there. As much as I find discussing this topic and defending my stance thrilling, it's not honestly doing much. It's drawing lines, I think. The Tumblr courtyard feels tense these days whenever Skybound comes up.

So: with the decision to abandon my reading of WYTYAA, I've also decided I'm going to try and focus more on my own works - writing fic and analysis that work against the insane, unfair fanon trends. Even if nobody reads them, I will know that I have done my absolute best to influence the scene in my own small way. You'll probably still see me pop into the SA insertion discussion if it comes up, because I do feel strongly enough about it to keep fighting back.

But to protect my own sanity: I'm burning that birdcage down. I'm walking away from the company party corner. I'm not even going to bother checking back on WYTYAA, because there is no new shock left to find.

Challenge me, if you'd like. It's only fair. For now, though: I'm taking a breath at my desk.

[oh-stars]

love your work and everything you do, so excited for the month of march fics coming up !!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ a fic a day is incredible and idk how you do it honestly 🙏🙏🙏 does this mean that hold is on hiatus for now ?

Oh thank you!!!

It was so fun doing @steddielovemonth so I'm excited to tackle Stobin Month! I don't write enough fics about them and them alone so it's been fun so far.

Hold is on a temporary hiatus. I'm aiming to get the next chapter out in April. Right now, I have so much going on, but I start a new job next week so my writing time is cutting down drastically. So I'm not able to tap into the headspace I need to write hold.

I added an update to the authors note for the last chapter, but to reiterate here: I AM NOT giving up on this story!! It's a passion project for me, but since it doesn't have a timeline or any outside pressure other than wanting to get the next chapter to you all, it has to be the first to go. I need to focus on my posting challenge, my STRBB fics, and my exchange fic (and I have a few big bangs I plan on signing up for!!) so I'll be shifting gears a little.

If I wasn't at such a pivotal moment in hold, I think I'd be able to continue writing as normal. But I have an Eddie scene and an Eleven scene to write for the next chapter that are heavier, so I need to do them the right way and not just knock it out.

Thank you all for the support and understanding!!! I'm having so much fun and feeling really fulfilled with my current writing load, so the patience about the hold situation is very appreciated!! That being said... Here's a teaser (under the cut) for the next chapter to hold everyone over (no pun intended) until I can post it:

“Hey, hey,” Steve coos, coming to a halt at the edge of her crib. He picks her up without hesitation, sending a sharp pain up his left arm as he cuddles her close. It doesn’t matter, he could care less about his pain as long as she’s okay. “You’re okay,” he says, “Daddy’s got you.” 

“Steve!” Robin huffs as she comes up beside them. “You shouldn’t be picking her up.” Whatever look he gives her must tell her everything she needs to know. She sighs and runs a hand over Charlotte’s wild dark hair. “I can hand her to you so you don’t hurt your hand,” she says softly, “let me help.” 

He presses his lips to Charlotte’s head and sways in place, shushing her. Charlotte, not Robin of course. “I know,” he tells Robin then goes back to talking to Charlotte. “We woke you up before you were ready, huh? I’m sorry, sweetpea.” He adjusts his hold on her to check her diaper, nose wrinkling. “Sure you want to help?” he asks Robin. 

“I think I can handle a dirty diaper.” 

Charlotte’s cries have stopped, but there are big tears on her cheeks and her bottom lip is pouted out as she looks up at Steve. He’d do anything for that face. 

Steve has to look away, eyes going to the bare, white ceiling as the fury comes back to him all at once. He blinks his own tears out of his eyes, all of the emotions hitting him like a goddamn train. “She left her,” Steve breathes out. “She fucking left her, Rob.” 

“She was so blasé about it too,” Robin punches out, walking away. She’s opening the drawers to grab something, closing them with force but not slamming. 

“What’s that mean?” he asks, dropping another kiss to Charlotte’s head. He drifts over to the chair they stashed in here during the move, an extra from the set his mom gave him, and sits so Charlotte’s laying against his chest. The movement emphasizes the pain and settles his heart all at once, but Charlotte’s sniffles and little noises make it worth it. 

Robin takes a moment, putting together the outfit for Charlotte. “Does she not have any dresses?” 

Steve’s brow furrows as he thinks about it. “I think she’s grown out of a few. I don’t know.” 

“I’m all for giving the bird to gender stereotypes and letting her wear boy clothes,” Robin says as she holds up the basketball onesie that doesn’t fit Charlotte anymore but Steve can’t part with, “but I don’t see any onesies with snaps that fit her and pants are going to be a nightmare for the foreseeable future.” 

Shit. 

Steve groans and adjusts Charlotte so her cast is more comfortable against him. “I didn’t even think about that.” 

“When would you have had the time?” Robin asks, closing the drawer. She’s out of the room before Steve can answer her.

[thesherrinfordfacility]

am i missing something in kinda comparing the entire maggie and nina situation to paris? 'cause there was no need to get them to fall in love. a&c might not be able to make people actually feel it, but they seem to have mind control down pat without much effort (or any moral quandaries). they could have waited for an angel to show up and just faked it- easy, certain way out. it's not like the idea of working together like that is even weird, not after the gabriel miracle.

so. either they missed it, which is plausible, and uhhh, renders this whole ask pointless, or *would* have moral issues with it (also plausible💀), or they're being completely ridiculous again, and would rather plan balls than actually make an effort to get themselves out of Mortal Fucking Peril (not that aziraphale necessarily knows it is). i think it would fit the pattern, honestly- when not having huge blowouts over *problems of their own making* (hey aziraphale kill this kid it'll be fine, aziraphale why won't you ditch earth with me, crowley why won't you come to heaven with me), the ineffables always seem to be constantly, aggressively orbiting eachother, making heart eyes and goofing off (cough end of the resurrectionists "not kind" cough) with 0 regard for safety except for the (very very sadly i can't find the -ennial word for every other century) occasional heart attack, and then just skipping right back down the aisle.

(hope this is coherent, i've been editing things a little too long to tell)

hello @aq-uatic my darling!!!💕

(bby im so sorry!!! i thought i had posted this ages ago and i went rooting around in the drafts to continue something else and realised i hadn't!!! im an idiot sorry!!!)

i think there is some context behind aziraphale's actions in particular with this scene:

we know that aziraphale has a fondness for maggie, that i'd argue goes slightly beyond the fondness he has for humans in general (and even then that's questionable at times), and he seems genuinely put out that he's not in a position to help her - to wiggle his fingers about, and make it happen for her (horrifying implications, aziraphale, but we move). so, whilst aziraphale obviously is prompted into the whole 'lets-make-these-two-humans-fall-in-love-bc-that's-totally-normal-and-okay' by holding the everyday record back in the bookshop, i think there is an element of aziraphale genuinely wanting to help her, and coming up with the ball is his interpretation of an organic way to do that (💀). but it doesn't justify the whole thing one little bit; despite the possibility of that being his intention, it's completely batshit - nina certainly didnt know, let alone consent, to anything, and maggie didn't either; they're not dolls for either of them to play around with.

essentially though, i agree - any logical, coherent, sensible thinking would have probably just helped them arrive at a solution that didn't involve warping reality and bringing a whole room of people under a horrifying amount of hypnosis. but you have two supernatural creatures who, in a fairly major way by the time of 2023 at least, have their sense of existing amongst humanity influenced by not only the clandestine, dramatic nature of their own story, but by their tendencies towards damsel-but-not-wholly-in-distress-ing and anti-hero-at-best-ing respectively. we have to barely scratch the surface to see the intertextuality between these traits of theirs, and where they might stem from stories told in certain books and movies (emma by jane austen, and james bond spring to mind).

they constantly talk in riddles to each other, in code and in double meanings - they may somewhat understand the general sense of what the other is saying, but it's not categorical and leaves too much room for error or misinterpretation (which, ultimately, it does). it's a constant dance circling each other, ebbing and flowing, pulling in and drawing back, but never coming together properly; it's a quadrille vs. a waltz.

it makes sense that they are so used to finding the most roundabout and convoluted ways to do things, and this continues into s2, because not only is it how it tends to go down in fiction, but also because that's literally how they've had to exist - not only so their closeness isn't detected, or so their true natures aren't suspected by their respective head offices, but also by nature of being literal supernatural creatures living amongst humans - sleeper agents, of a kind - and constantly having to exist without detection.

none of this makes it right, of course not - but i actually don't think they see any other way of going about things. they're so good at it, so well practiced, that (as just two examples) they run verbal rings around gabriel/metatron (book) and beelzebub chattering about the great vs. ineffable plans at the airfield, and they dance around the most straightforward solution to the maggie/nina problem. as for themselves and their relationship, they dont speak plainly to each other until the bandstand or final fifteen... and even then, i feel like its aziraphale that is maybe the first to break and speak plainly? idk:

i think it's clear that crowley is the more scared, and therefore the more cautious, in this regard. for all his objections attempting to distance himself as an angel compared to crowley's being a demon, aziraphale feels to me that he is the more inclined to throw caution to the wind. i think its because crowley understands the danger in blowing their cover a little more than aziraphale does - aziraphale on multiple occasions slips in nearly admitting their closeness (1800, end of 1827 as you pointed out, and when meeting with the archangels in heaven in s1) - and is still stuck in the safety that dancing around what should be plainly said affords them. they both - as you wonderfully put it - aggressively orbit each other, and breaking the holding pattern comes a little too late.

so no, i think your drawing the parallel between the Weird-Ass dynamic in 1793, how they handle the maggie/nina storyline, and then how they behave with each other, is very apt! but its, at this time, arguably all that they've known - acting in this way - and breaking the cycle is starting to happen, but won't pay its dividends until s3✨

[tossacointoyourarchivist]

alright it's time i've made my contribution to the tags i regularly occasionally troll: here is a snippet of some sweet zevlor/oc sort-of-action

MDNI. yes i am using the biggest font to make that clear.

content warnings: talk of disability and chronic pain, blatant lack of understanding D&D lore; minor dom/sub dynamic, technically NSFW but it's just a lil at the beginning to set the scene (LMAO); my tav is a human monk named winnie and they're in their mid twenties. winnie is also AFAB and uses they/them pronouns; this is hella un-edited and i can't wait to see all the typos and half-written sentences i'll find after i hit 'post'

word count: 856 words (this excerpt... don't ask how long the "one-shot" is in its entirety)

really this is just me waxing poetic about an idea i've had about magical mobility aids. i love tattoos and have chronic back pain. i modeled winnie's spinal/pain issues after my own because i stopped taking testosterone and now i have pain flare-ups with my period. yay.

fic title is from the song "traveling at the speed of light" by joywave. it feels very appropriate for them idk go listen to it it's so good

working title: i don't know how long i've been alone

(subtitle: let's reacquaint and show that something's gotta give now)

His nails press slightly into the flesh of Winnie’s rear and a dark chuckle rumbles in his chest, “Let’s make use of that bed, shall we?” he asks and- hells, with his grip on them, he pulls Winnie’s heated center into the growing bulge in his trousers. They gasp and twitch in his hold, digging their fingers into his shoulders. 

“Gods, please,” they breathe into his neck, delighted to feel his responding sigh. It’s just a few steps from where Zevlor stands to the edge of the bed and Winnie thinks back to the very first lewd thought they had about him.

'I want to show him how much trouble I can give him.'

He takes one step forward and Winnie places a kiss under his ear, and after the next footfall echoes through the room they nip that same spot, laving their tongue over the little bite. It isn’t nearly enough to leave a mark on the tiefling’s skin, but it does make him stutter, drawing a strangled groan from his throat where Winnie leaves another gentle love bite.

In no time, he tips Winnie down onto the bed and bites back a growl. He kisses them deeply, swallowing their moans and relishing in the sad little noise Winnie makes when he pulls away.

“Be good for me, sweetheart, we’ve waited so long for this. We’ll have time to play like that later,” he purrs and Winnie settles, though he doesn’t comment on the occasional tremble.

The lovers remain like this for a time, sharing kisses and touches with cautious exploration. Winnie sighs as Zevlor’s forked tongue tastes them; gods how they missed this. For only a night, Winnie knew the taste and feel of his mouth on their own; that night in the grove followed them for the remainder of their journey. Their heart feels too full, like they can barely breathe through it.

Winnie melts into the mattress, burning under his heat in the best way possible when he guides them by the loose hold he maintains on their hair. Each sensuous slide of lips and tongue serves to stoke the fire within them, until deft fingers reach for the tie in the front of their wrap top. 

This was unavoidable, Winnie tells themself. He was going to see it one way or another, so they might as well make the best of the situation. They wouldn’t be here if they didn’t trust him, but anxiety fills them, still.

But Zevlor notices their hesitation and pulls back from the kiss, concern etched on his beautiful Infernal features, “Would you prefer to not remove this?”

Winnie shakes their head, “It- It’s not that, I just… Here,” they shakily untie their top, ignoring Zevlor’s gentle protests. And then he falls quiet, his eyes landing on the peculiar tattoos on their body.

If Winnie had been wearing nothing else underneath the top, he would’ve been too distracted to notice but a band of thin fabric preserves his fortitude for now. He’s known that Winnie has tattoos, but the moonflower on their hand was the only one he’d seen in detail. He examines the lines on their shoulder, how they wrap around the joint as if it were an imitation of a sling or supportive device. It occurs to him then, what the tattoos are: a mobility aid made of enchanted ink. He traces one thick line that wraps around their elbow and back up their arm, feeling the raised skin left behind by the process. 

The first time he’d seen tattoos like these, Zevlor was a fresh recruit with barely a week of service under his belt. In passing, he’d heard of a marshall doing everything he could to put off a final mission, including such tattoos inked onto his hand and knees. But that man had been as old as Zevlor is now- he’d never seen these on someone so young.

He cautiously asks, “Was this an injury?”

Winnie takes a deep breath, “I’ll tell you the whole story later, but no, not an injury. My spine didn’t develop correctly- these tattoos help straighten my spine and relieve some of the pain that comes with it.” They don't mention how their spine still curves where it shouldn't, however minimized. They don’t say anything about their tilted hips and shoulders, or how their breasts are noticeably different sizes in their eyes, or the jagged, pale red lines marking how their body changed so quickly in less than a decade. Those things he can see for himself and Winnie grips tightly to what shreds of their pride remain.

Winnie shivers as his fingers continue to trace the ink up their arm until his hand cups the back of their neck. Would he look at them differently for this, they wonder; the flash of grief was undeniable but he surprises them altogether not by speaking, but acting.

He presses a warm kiss to the inside of their elbow and another, and another, until he’s kissing the space where shoulder meets neck. His fingers caress the side of their waist, making them shiver again but he doesn’t venture downward- or upward for that matter. Instead, he touches them for the sake of feeling their skin under his fingertips, to ground them in the moment. 

[thekingofthenameless]

22 or 23 please

I am so sorry it took me so long to answer this my inspiration fluctuates between things like a ping pong ball! Despite it being about the blorbo of all time 😭

22 is gonna be answered in another post!

23. Unpopular character you love?

MERLIN

And that should be very obvious. 🤣

Listen. I love him. I do. But… I have a few problems with his character now, and that’s because of the writers.

He’s pretty inconsistent sometimes.

For one, his powers. (Or supposed lack thereof?)

He’s described as the most powerful wizard to have ever lived, but he doesn’t… really do anything to show it.

He banished Morgana himself according to Trollhunters, ended the Eternal Night, fought the Arcane Order for a millenia, (all offscreen), was implied to have banished their Titans himself, and was briefly able to put Bellroc and Skrael in chains. That’s… pretty much it.

The discrepancy in his magic is really obvious between Trollhunters and Wizards if you take the time to think about it. For one example, in Trollhunters, he flies when he ends the Eternal Night; in Wizards, he levitates himself on a chest to get himself up to his ship?

For another example, I’ve seen so many people talk about how “weak” he is because he couldn’t make the Amulet or banish Morgana without Douxie’s help. But in Trollhunters, he builds it alone, with Moppet!Douxie only handing him the parts he needed, and he could have used his telekinesis for that. He also banishes Morgana himself, and he thought his magic was gone because of that, not because of Morgana keeping him asleep and stealing it for nine hundred years.

In Wizards, Douxie does most of the work building the Amulet, and he’s the one who banished Morgana because Merlin “couldn’t”.

But those are retcons. There’s literally art of the cave painting where he banishes Morgana in the artbook!

He got nerfed!

He also has powers that seem to only be there for one plot reason, and they’re never mentioned again, as if he, the wizard who is supposed to be the most powerful one of time according to the writers before he showed up onscreen, would forget about them. I can think of at least two: teleportation and freezing time. Teleportation was only used once. Once, a barely noticeable time when he did it in A House Divided to leave Jim alone to think. Not when Galahad’s sacrificing himself, not when Arthur is jumping right towards him, and not when Arthur has him in a chokehold. Freezing time was also only used once! It wasn’t used in literally any situation where it would have been a lifesaver. (Possibly literally.) It wasn’t used when again, Galahad was sacrificing himself, when Jim was slamming the shard in his heart to become, unbeknownst to him, a beast under the Order’s control, when Beast!Jim was holding his son hostage, and when Arthur was, again, jumping right towards him. But it’s used in the next episode after he dies to save Douxie, who I have complicated feelings about. But he’s going to be in another post.

That’s just his powers. Now onto his trauma and how that isn’t shown at all!

He’s already so interesting but he could have been so much MORE.

To sum it up, his apprentice betrays him and indirectly murders his Trollhunters and gloats about it. A very old friend sacrifices himself to buy him time while he’s dealing with his worst enemies being back.

No you know what? I’m pissed about this actually. This, right here, could have been a great thing. This could have been a scene where Merlin quietly admits it, or Nimue, midway through attacking him, realizes his desire/remembers it from him getting Excalibur. And she softens, and he explains why he did it, and he sets her free. It would have shown his motivations a lot more and would have given him a way to shine as the deurotagonist, but no. This quirky asshole who we’ve seen for all of five minutes slams a pillar into her and knocks one of her teeth out when he couldn’t even properly chase down a Mephit! This little bitch empathizes with her and sets her free even after he did that. What does Merlin get? He gets eaten. This badass gets reduced to being comic relief with Steve when instead that could have happened. Just one of the many ways canon in general does him dirty!

For one thing, they made this stupid boy with an accent the protagonist of Wizards, when it would have made far more sense to have Merlin, an already major character, the protagonist. It would have also been more interesting imo but I’m kind of biased. He was also supposed to be the deurotagonist, but that’s more of an informed thing than anything. Grace was surprised when she looked it up on the ToA wiki. He could have so many moments, and this is just one of them.

Then he fucking dies. Arthur gets murdered by one of Merlin’s worst enemies and then they resurrect him as a lackey for who knows how long because the canon timeline sucks And in Wizards, he stabs Merlin in the gut, right through his armor and throws him out a window. He ends dying like a minute later. And just. God. Someone asked the writer I’ve been talking about how that happened, and he was like “Merlin’s armor doesn’t hold up against dark magic that well.” Which doesn’t make any sense. 🙃 HIS ENTIRE TOMB IN TROLLHUNTERS IS ANTI-MAGIC, AND HE LITERALLY ALREADY A VENDETTA AGAINST DARK MAGIC EVEN BEFORE MORGANA BETRAYED HIM. And it’s so annoying when Merlin is portrayed as a weak wizard because he’s the most powerful wizard ever! Canon unfortunately doesn’t really show it BUT HE IS He was the one who defeated the Arcane Order and banished their Titans for a thousand years. He was the one who sealed Nimue in a cave, and he was the creator of the Daylight Amulet. He was the one who fought Morgana and banished her. He was the one who ended the Eternal Night. And in Episode One of Wizards, when he astral projected to that guy, all the streetlights on that street were broken before he even showed himself. But thinking about that made me realize he’s really only powerful when the plot demands it. If the Arcane Order could kill him, they would have when he was fighting them for a millennium. They wouldn’t have killed him by proxy, with a lackey. Especially Skrael, who seems to have a higher vendetta against him than his sibling. And since he can teleport, he should have been to grab Galahad like he will in EE, and he could have teleported out of Arthur’s grip. I also don’t know why his armor isn’t anti-magic when his entire tomb is.

Also HE'S LITERALLY ABLE TO FREEZE TIME IN THE NEXT DAMN EPISODE AND YET HE'S NEVER SHOWN USING IT BEFORE THAT DESPITE THE FACT THAT HE'S A TIME WIZARD AND HIS CENTER OF MAGIC IS SUPPOSED TO BE TIME IT'S JUST STUPID TO ME NOW

I'VE RANTED ABOUT THIS BEFORE BUT HE'S LITERALLY ABLE TO FREEZE TIME IN THE NEXT EPISODE

AND YET HE'S NEVER SHOWN USING IT BEFORE THAT DESPITE THE FACT THAT HE'S A *TIME WIZARD*

IT'S JUST NARM TO ME NOW

ALSO MERLIN IS A THOUSANDS YEAR OLD WARRIOR AND THE ONLY FIGHT HE ACTUALLY WON WAS AGAINST A FUCKING SIXTEEN YEAR OLD

Granted a very skilled sixteen year old but it still!!! Doesn't make sense!!!

So basically Merlin’s death was literally just to give him angst, and if anyone could kill him, he would have died YEARS AGO.

Oh, and canon and fanon can’t decide on Merlin either! Canon says Merlin is the most powerful wizard of all time, but he never gets to show it, and it seems more of an informed thing than anything. And the fact that’s he’s the fucking deurotagonist of Wizards is an informed thing too. And there would been more of his backstory, and more characterization, but it got fucking cut

His exact quote? He said “Leave them alone, Morgana.” He said them. He wasn’t referring to just AAARRRGGHH!!! If he had, he would’ve said “Leave him alone, Morgana.” HE. SAID. THEM.

He can TELEPORT

LOOK AT HIM.

He got done dirty. So dirty.

my ramble about just the canon angst he went through

He breathes FIRE and look at him in this one. HE TAKES DOWN MORGANA WHILE HE’S INJURED AND SLAMS HER INTO THE GROUND.

LOOK AT HIM.

Important characterization scenes for him are cut

MERLIN WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE A COUPLE OF EPISODES ABOUT HIS BACKSTORY BUT IT GOT CUT OF COURSE

I don't know why the writers did that. Maybe it was supposed an Aesop about how

"Expectations don't live up to reality." Or something.

But if he's really like that, how did he survive fighting the Arcane Order for a literal millennia? Why did Morgana want his magic so much that she kept him asleep for nine hundred years just to get it?

Canon flip-flops on him constantly, and he's only as powerful as the plot needs him to be.

He could have teleported out of Arthur's grasp, or he could have frozen time before that even happened and gotten them all out of there.

He made the Cradlestone to free the babies, and ended the Eternal Night, but they weren't really dwelled on, making him seem more like a living Deus Ex Machina if anything. In Wizards, he needed another master wizard to help him complete the Amulet.

He can teleport!! He was gone. He breathes fire in some storyboards. l'm not joking.

Before he appeared onscreen, he seemed like a revered figure. He's described as a "wizard that has power" in the art book. in EPISODE ONE.

Trollhunters actually makes him seem more badass compared to Wizards where he got more screen time.

He actually is badass, but he doesn't get to show it except for when the plot needs him to.

He was nerfed and I will not accept otherwise.

It was just to give Douxie angst.

me shaking the writers YOU DO NOT HAVE AN EXCUSE

Okay I’m mainly talking about his characterization, but he was done dirty by this too!

Look at him!

He looks amazing.

Then canon downgraded him into just an old man!

I’m sorry, but I can’t take his design seriously when he looks like that compared to his concept art.

There’s also the fandom. I originally thought that I would put it under the cut so people wouldn’t have to see my opinions, but you know what? This needs to be said, and I’m leaving it out in the open.

Five episodes. Five. And that was enough to inspire a whole tag around hating him, people who whispered a word about even liking him were harassed off the site,

And even hated for being traumatized *cough* **Merlin** *cough*

y z

I didn’t specify that it was Merlin in the first rant, but you could probably guess from even that.

*Merlin stomped on Douxie’s self-esteem as soon as he adopted him*!

“*Merlin doesn’t understand emotions! He has the emotional density of a turnip*!”

Another canon to fanon ToA thing is **MERLIN’S WHOLE PERSONALITY!!!**

He’s constantly made into the worst person ever. A bad dad. An emotionally abusive manipulator. A fucking pedophile.

“Quotes”, “meta”, and “evidence” that he’s a bad person are pulled from thin air. I know I’ve said this before, but I really feel like people are just coming up with reasons to hate him, or they’re purposely making him worse than canon so they can hate him. One time, I saw a fic author ADMIT they were writing Merlin worse than canon on purpose.

It fucking sucks to see him be changed so much. I’m know I’m going to do him justice. I know that I’m writing him in character. I have meta from Aaron, actual, honest to God **quotes**, screencaps, etc. But it still fucking sucks. I put the tag Good Merlin on Emerald Embers, but I’m still nervous that someone in the comments or somewhere else will say he’s out of character.

I am so sick of people demonizing him when Morgana is RIGHT THERE!

And yet those five episodes were enough to cause a whole tag called the Merlin hate train, people wishing violent death upon him or giving him ones, and people who gave even one hint that they liked him harassed off the site.

And most of the reason was because Merlin “manipulated Jim into becoming a half-troll!”

But he didn’t. He sat Jim down and laid out his options: 1. take the potion and win against Gunmar and whoever else he would have to fight, or 2. don’t take the potion and die a brutal, painful death.

Also, kind of off subject, but when Jim turned back to human, there was controversy over whether he should have stayed troll or not!

MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MINDS FANDOM

And the voice acting I showed you? Is from that scene. Merlin is a very, very emotionally constipated person because of all the shit and trauma he’s been through over the course of millenia, and him saying that is essentially baring his soul to a child that he barely even knows.

Does the fandom give a shit about that? No!

Does the fandom give a shit when he said “Leave them alone, Morgana.” referring to both AAARRRGGHH!!! and Angor? The latter of whom was a slave at the time? No!

Does the fandom give a shit when he grieved over his Trollhunters’ deaths? Most of them murders? No!

Does the fandom give a shit when he grieved over Galahad’s death? No!

Does the fandom give a shit when it’s implied that he sealed Nimue away to seal her away from Arthur’s massacre of magic kind? No!

Does the fandom give a shit about him being surprised when Jim gives him an affectionate nickname in Wizards? No!

DOES EVERYONE FORGET MERLIN HOLDING DOUXIE’S HANDS AND HIM HOLDING RIGHT BACK?! DOES EVERYONE FORGET MERLIN CUPPING HIS FACE? DOES EVERYONE FORGET HIM CALLING HIM HIS SON? DOES EVERYONE FORGET THEIR HUG IN EPISODE TEN?

YES

And many more things!

They were making tons of aus with Merlin as the villain, *of course*, and they were giving him death threats and saying they would kill him, throw him out of a window, and do a ton of other shit.

I hated seeing it, and sometimes I could literally feel my body getting distressed because of it.

But the worst part of seeing this?

They were wishing death on him because of their own fanon versions.

And even if he is written as a good person? He always only cares about Douxie.

His trauma, his sarcasm, his empathy, all go poof. Reddie is one of the few people who knows that he’s a good person, but even she acts like he doesn’t have any empathy at all. Hopefully I’ve demonstrated that he is a very high empath with the above.☝️ Hardly anyone in the fandom™️ appreciates his complexities at all!

No matter what, whether he’s characterized as a good person and/or good dad, or bad person and/or bad dad, all of his complexities are erased. No matter what.

Actually a lot of them.

Anyways,

and he’s mine now.

Thank you so much for the ask!

[pouletaulait]

How possessive is Doumeki really? 🤔

I’ve read several times now that people describe Doumeki as possessive. At first glance I found myself agreeing with that sentiment but after thinking about it more deeply, I’m not so sure anymore. I guess at the end of the day it comes down to how you interpret Doumeki’s actions but I thought it might still be worth taking a closer look at this aspect of his character from my own understanding of his motives and his personality.

Btw this is a pretty long post, so be warned 😉 I felt like I had to elaborate somewhat on what I think Doumeki’s train of thoughts might be and what his motivations are, so this ended up a bit more extensive than I had imagined. If you still want to read it, have some 🍪 and ☕️ for the journey 😜

I think it makes sense to start out with the scene that always pops up in my head first when I think about Doumeki and his supposed possessive streak. It’s this scene in Chapter 24, when Doumeki holds Yashiro in his arms. Both of their walls have come crumbling down in the last couple of chapters and Doumeki is opening up about his feelings for Yashiro:

These words, along with his thought: „I just wanted to bind him to me“, later in Chapter 27 when he is reflecting on their night together and the fact that Yashiro left him behind, make him sound very possessive, don’t they? But is he really? What is he actually trying to convey here? Let’s consider how Doumeki describes his feelings for Yashiro in other instances, e.g. in Chapter 23: „Out of all people, I am drawn to you so strongly that I can’t hold myself back“ or in Chapter 33 when Yashiro asks Doumeki, how it feels for him to fall in love and Doumeki says to him: „You’re different from the others“, after Yashiro suggests that there must have been other people that Doumeki had fallen in love with before him.

From how Doumeki describes his feelings it’s clear that to him Yashiro is special. This is not some ordinary infatuation to him, he doesn’t just want to be with Yashiro because he likes his face or body but that he feels very strongly about him; that he’s truly in love with him. In my opinion his words, about him not wanting for Yashiro to be with other men anymore and about how he wanted to bind him to himself, are just a reflection of these intense feelings, although they might sound a bit hyperbolic. He wants to be special to Yashiro in the same way that Yashiro is special to himself, in other words, he wants to be „the one“ for Yashiro. He is basically saying „I love you“ without using those three specific words. So, yes, he does feel somewhat possessive of Yashiro, simply because he’s in love with him. I’d say this sentiment towards the person he loves is understandable and far from uncommon but we are not used to reading these feelings spelt out like this. On the one hand this way of phrasing it makes his confession even more powerful and genuine than a simple „I love you and I want to be with you“ but on the other hand, it makes him sound more possessive than he really is, in my opinion. After all, these feelings are completely normal and as long as he doesn’t take any action to isolate Yashiro or hurt him because of his possessiveness, these feelings are completely normal and unproblematic.

Another one of Doumeki’s actions which might be construed as possessive behaviour is the fact that Doumeki went after Yashiro when he was left behind. But is there no other possible explanation for it? Personally, I think there is; he doesn’t want to just give up on Yashiro, not only for his own sake but also for Yashiro’s. Let’s take a look at the scene right before he decides to follow Yashiro in Chapter 29. Alone in his apartment, Doumeki thinks back to what Yashiro said to him in the shower. He concludes: „Even though he’s afraid of losing me, he threw me away just like that.“ He then remembers how Yashiro reacted to his touch: „Trembling from barely a touch. Babbling and delirious. Coming again and again until it was colorless, like water.“ I think the second part ties in with what Doumeki reflected on in Chapter 27, when he thinks about how Yashiro cried when they had sex. Doumeki remembers asking Yashiro: „Why did you cry?“ To which Yashiro answered: „It’s obvious, isn’t it? It’s because it felt so good.“ Doumeki then thinks to himself: „but that was a lie.“ So, he does understand that Yashiro cried for a different reason and the most obvious explanation for somebody crying is that they feel hurt. I think this is the moment when Doumeki recognizes the contradiction between Yashiro’s feelings and his actions; Yashiro is afraid of losing Doumeki, yet he abandons him. He appears to enjoy the sex with Doumeki, yet it hurts him. Doumeki then thinks back to Yashiro’s statement in the shower: „I don’t know how to deal with you, whatever I do…“ This makes him understand that Yashiro is at a complete loss, that he doesn’t feel in control of the situation at all. While Doumeki is reflecting on Yashiro’s words, the infamous contact lens case falls out of Doumeki’s pocket on to the floor:

And this is the very moment when Doumeki makes the decision to go after Yashiro. Why? On the one hand, probably because he knew that Yashiro was in danger and he wanted to keep him from harm but on the other, I think he didn’t want to give up on Yashiro. I think the contact lens case makes Doumeki reflect on what he knows about Yashiro’s feelings. Doumeki knows that Yashiro was in love with Kageyama, that they had met all the way back in high school and that despite that Yashiro had never acted upon his feelings for Kageyama… The lens case is like a manifestation of Yashiro’s love and it had not been laying forgotten in a dark corner of his room, Yashiro had kept it in drawer that he accessed often (presumably, because it’s the top drawer where he stores his sex toys and I think it’s a fair assumption to make that he uses those on a regular basis 🤭) this suggests that Yashiro still kept that case around deliberately. So, up until recently Yashiro had still held on to his love for Kageyama. I think Doumeki realized in that moment that Yashiro would never act upon his feelings for him, just like he had never acted upon his feelings for Kageyama for all these years. That he distanced himself from Doumeki not because he didn’t have feelings for him but rather despite his feelings for him. This realization in combination with the fact that Yashiro appeared torn and overwhelmed by the situation begs the question whether abandoning Doumeki really was a carefully considered action on Yashiro’s part. Is this truly what Yashiro wants? Everything Doumeki knows about Yashiro at this point suggests that he was just running away from it all. So, if Doumeki didn’t want to give up on Yashiro and their love for each other, he had to be the one to take action. Is this a completely selfish action driven by some intense obsession? I’d argue, not really, because I think that Doumeki recognized Yashiro’s deep sadness and loneliness. He had spent three months with him. There appeared to be nobody around Yashiro who he had a really close relationship with. And Yashiro had wasted no time in getting closer with Doumeki. Yashiro had made him stay at his place overnight, using Doumeki’s lap as his pillow and even opening up to him emotionally. On the one hand this shows their immediate connection and attraction to one another but on the other hand it made it very obvious that Yashiro was longing for a deeper connection and probably even love. Kou Yoneda established very early on that Doumeki is more perceptive than he might seem, when in Chapter 1 he was able to tell that the guy Yashiro had sex with was a police officer. Therefore, it’s not unlikely that Doumeki was able to tell just how lonely Yashiro actually was. I mean, look at this sad expression of Yashiro in Chapter 4. Doumeki is driving Yashiro home, after they had just been over at Kageyama’s:

Doumeki recognized Yashiro’s feelings for Kageyama and he saw that Yashiro felt hurt because of how things turned out between them. I’d argue that this realization is the reason why Doumeki wanted to tell Kageyama about Yashiro’s feelings in Chapter 7, when Kuga basically kidnapped Doumeki 😉 and dragged him along to have some food with Kageyama and him. Doumeki gets the chance to talk to Kageyama alone and he instigates a conversation about Yashiro. After Kageyama tells him about how he met Yashiro and how he sees him, Doumeki understands that Kageyama is completely oblivious to Yashiro’s feelings. He’s about to spill the beans when Yashiro comes out of his hiding spot to interrupt their conversation. Doumeki wanted to help Yashiro in any way he could. At this point he obviously didn’t know yet how smitten Yashiro actually was by him. Btw the fact that Doumeki wanted to tell Kageyama about Yashiro’s feelings suggests that he is anything but possessive at this point. Granted, his own feelings for Yashiro might not have been as intense as in Chapter 23 yet but we know that he at least felt attracted to Yashiro and obviously cared about him. Nevertheless, he didn’t seem to worry at all about how this revelation might impact his own relationship with Yashiro.

Coming back to my argument about why Doumeki decided to go after Yashiro in Chapter 29. At this point of the story he might not have been able to understand why exactly Yashiro was unable to open up about his feelings but he probably understood that there was something holding him back and leaving him miserable and lonely. Long story short, I’d say that Doumeki simply wanted to be there for Yashiro. Because of what Yashiro had told him in the shower he might still have had hope that he actually meant something to Yashiro but more than anything he wanted to be by Yashiro’s side, regardless in what role.

After their nearly fatal encounter with Hirata, Yashiro pushed Doumeki away again and pretended not to remember him. This time Doumeki accepted Yashiro’s will. He kept his distance for four years. He did keep tabs on Yashiro through Chestnut but it seems that he didn’t do anything with this information because he never tried to contact Yashiro, to me this doesn’t really align with the idea of him acting possessive. But I have to admit, I still don’t really have an idea what Doumeki’s ultimate plan was during the four years they didn’t see each other but he didn’t seem very keen on meeting Yashiro again at that point. He seemed troubled by the possibility that they might cross paths. Did he actually want to find Kido as soon as possible in order to avoid meeting Yashiro, like Kamiya suggested in Chapter 42? Doumeki denies it but Kamiya doesn’t seem convinced, and I agree… He probably was torn. What’s for certain is that he wasn’t thrilled about the prospect of seeing Yashiro, understandably so. Since we don’t really get any insight into what Doumeki is thinking after the time skip it’s difficult to make any confident statements about his motivations or thoughts but to me it seems like Doumeki wasn’t trying to force his way back into Yashiro’s life again, initially. However, his whole demeanor towards Yashiro certainly changed when he realized that Yashiro was in contact with Inami in Chapter 43. He was deeply upset by this revelation. Because he wanted Yashiro for himself? I doubt it. Personally, I think he was upset because he couldn’t understand why Yashiro would do this to himself. Judging from his reaction („You haven’t changed at all, have you?“) I think that Doumeki was hoping that Yashiro had turned over a new leaf, that he wasn’t hurting himself like that anymore or at least that he’d be better off without him in his life. That didn’t appear to be the case.

Another action that might make Doumeki seem possessive is the fact that he insists on driving Yashiro to his apartment the next day (Chapter 45). Doumeki claims that he wanted to drive him because he wanted to warn him about the possibility that he might be in danger. I don’t really have a reason to doubt what he is saying, even though he follows Yashiro to the entrance of the apartment building. But he probably only does that because Yashiro gets obviously very upset and practically jumps out of the car when Doumeki insists that there was no other reason as to why he wanted to drive him. Doumeki then confronts Yashiro about why he’s so upset: „What do you want me to do?“ I think this question shows clearly that Doumeki actually wants to understand what Yashiro is thinking and wants to go along with his wishes. He doesn’t want to force his way back into Yashiro’s life, rather he wants to find out what Yashiro wants. It’s only once Inami turns up that Doumeki becomes forceful with Yashiro and drags him inside, away from Inami. Again, because he’s possessive over Yashiro? I don’t think so. I truly believe his main motive is to keep Yashiro away from Inami, the scumbag. Not because he’s possessive but rather because he’s protective. He probably thinks that by satisfying Yashiro’s sexual needs, he can keep him away from this man that treats him like trash. I think the same goes for Kido in Chapter 50. He can’t stand the thought of Yashiro getting treated like that. I’d argue that even though Doumeki’s behaviour towards Yashiro after the time skip may seem possessive at first glance (because he keeps pulling Yashiro away from Inami and Kido), if we consider who these people are and how they treat Yashiro, it’s not hard to imagine that Doumeki is doing this because he wants to protect Yashiro. Especially because we already know that his being protective is a major part of his personality. But is this his only motivation? I’d say not really. Clearly Doumeki is still in love with Yashiro and therefore he wants Yashiro to be with him instead of other men but personally I think that if Doumeki hadn’t found out about Inami and if Yashiro didn’t send him any mixed signals, he probably would’ve left him alone. After all, he was willing to step away when Yashiro refused Doumeki’s demand that he wasn’t to continue meeting up with Inami, which is why in Chapter 48 he volunteers Kamiya as Yashiro’s bodyguard instead of himself. This is the exact opposite of acting possessive and therefore this is what convinced me that I may have been misjudging him initially.

Overall I come to the conclusion that Doumeki is probably a lot less possessive than he might seem at first. He is overly protective more than anything else and he’s certainly not the type to lead an open relationship any time soon 😅 but if that’s what grants someone the title of a „possessive person“, I’d have to rethink my understanding of this concept. He loves Yashiro and wants to protect him but most importantly it seems to me that he wants for Yashiro stop hurting. I believe he kept his distance for so long because he realized how much pain his actions had caused to Yashiro and he didn’t want to cause him any more pain. But when they met again and Doumeki realized that Yashiro was still hurting and he sensed that Yashiro still had feelings for him and wanted to keep him around, I think he wanted to be there for Yashiro again, in any way possible, even if it meant to be his sex buddy, I guess.

[juletheghoul]

Burning Hour (Part 3)

This series has completely taken over my life and I am so happy you are all enjoying it so much - thank you for all of the lovely messages and comments - I treasure them deeply.

So - you shouldn't be surprised that this particular moment on the red carpet absolutely inspired a scene in this story and I regret nothing. Hope you all enjoy this fantasy that's keeping me going lol.

Din Djarin x F!Reader (Virgin reader)

Pairing: Din x F!Reader

Word Count: 4.9k

Warnings: (18+ NO MINORS) Angst, pining, slow-burn, implied arranged marriage, language, age-gap (about 10-11 years, legal, reader is of age) Yearning, jealousy, fingering/touching / slight dirty talk (slightly possessive)

Let me know if I missed anything!

reblogs are appreciated

Masterlist Series Masterlist Part 4

—

You floated through the morning.

Your dreams were full of kisses, of declarations of love and beskar glinting under the sun and it was hard to concentrate on anything.

You smiled to yourself as you broke your fast with warm bread and butter, feeling his eyes on you from his place behind your father.

“Your highness-” Your father’s advisor came through the door holding the usual paperwork, things for him to look over, letters to read. “-A letter has come for the Princess.” He turned to you then with a smile. He was an old man, grandfatherly and sweet. He handed it to you and you noticed from the corner of your eye Din’s helmet turn towards you.

It was a small letter and you noticed how beautiful the script was as you opened it.

Dearest Princess,

I would be honoured if you were to join me here at my home for dinner. My messenger awaits your response and if you agree, I will send my personal household guard to accompany you. I also imagine your knight will be in attendance, I welcome him and whoever else you choose to bring at my table. Ruby as well of course.

Hoping you’ll say yes.

Ever yours,

Poe. D.

“It’s from Poe, he asks that I join him this evening for dinner.” You were frowning at the letter, conflicted because you wanted to stay home, wanted to meet Din in the garden again. A tiny part of you however, the tiniest part wanted to say yes - wanted to see how Poe would behave. Part of you wanted him to do something unforgivable to wipe the smiles off your parents faces.

“Oh but you must go!” Your father’s voice boomed through the room and you imagined that you could almost hear Din’s jaw clenching.

“Yes my darling, you must go. What does the letter say?” Your mother held her hand out and you handed it to her. She smiled as she read it. “Din, you must accompany her.” She was smiling big, excited at the prospect of a match having been made. No one bothered to ask if you wanted to go.

“Yes of course, let his messenger know that the Princess will be in attendance. She will go, Din- I leave her safety in your hands. Take you who must.” It had been decided for you, and you had to accept it. You felt Mila’s hand grasp yours under the table in understanding.

-

“Which gown would you like to wear your highness?” She asked sadly as you put on your undergarments and you sighed.

Whichever one makes everyone leave me alone.

“Whichever you think would look best sweetling, I have no preference.” You said the words and they were honest. Yes - Poe was charming and sweet, handsome and in another life you would have been faint with excitement at his interest in you but you were in love with Din. He was the one you wanted to share a meal with. He was the one you wanted to kiss in the open - to have holding your hand as you sat together in front of the hearth. He was the one you wanted in your bed.

“How about this one?” She held out a lovely powder blue gown. You would have said no, something more plain but you had to be seen to be making an effort.

“Yes, that will do nicely.” You smiled but it didn’t reach your eyes. She didn’t comment on it.

“I will tie a blue ribbon around Ruby’s neck to match, and I think you have some sapphires as well.” She brought over a tray of jewelry for you to peruse while she laced up your gown.

Your mind drifted to an interesting place. You imagined you were preparing for dinner with Din and imagined your knight picking out jewels for you to wear.

Would he prefer diamonds? Would he like me better in opals or emeralds?

You had a feeling he wouldn’t mind either way, but it was lovely to pretend even for a moment. She placed a dark blue cloak about your shoulders and stood back.

“You look beautiful Princess, the blue looks lovely against your skin.” She held up a silvered looking glass and you saw the reflection of a happy woman, although why she was happy - no one could know.

“Thank you sweetling, let's get this night over with shall we?” You smiled at her as you both made your way outside.

---

Din, along with five of his best knights, waited for her to set out for Damerons home. Damerons own household guard waited as well, having been sent to accompany her and he surveyed them. They seemed competent enough, he gave them their space nonetheless.

It was getting more and more difficult to put the future out of his mind - he knew that the Princess would marry at some point, it was her duty as Queen. She might even marry Poe - he knew that objectively they were a good match but his mind simply couldn’t stay objective. Not when it came to her.

This whole thing was moving faster than he hoped and he didn’t know what he could do about it.

You have to face facts Djarin, you’ll never marry her. You are a knight, she is a Princess, there is no place for you. Maybe you should just let her go.

It was in him to do so, to ignore his feelings for her; to find Gisela and ask her to marry him - have a couple of little ones and pray for things to work out. The harsh words to get her to hate him on the tip of his tongue but they evaporated like dew on a sunny day when he saw her come out to meet him.

She was a gem- a bright, glittering thing that he wanted so desperately to hold onto.

“I am ready Sir, shall we?” She smiled shyly and he nodded.

“Of course Princess, allow me.” He guided her into the wheelhouse, dreading and cherishing every single second.

--

The ride was uneventful, the road was quiet thankfully with nothing to see but long swathes of trees and greenery in the gloaming of the evening.

Ruby was napping softly in your lap but woke quickly when you arrived, her little tail wagging happily at the prospect of exploring.

“Yes my little darling - we are here.” She was in Mila’s arms when you pet her, the two of you waiting for the wheelhouse to come to a stop.

Din opened the door for you, he was helping you climb down when you heard Poe’s voice sounding out.

“Princess, I am so pleased you agreed to come-” He was striding over, his squire on his heels. “-I am happy to see you all. Please - be welcome.” He was smiling big at everyone as his guards retreated, no doubt returning to their posts. He crouched quickly to pet Ruby before approaching you.

“Hello Poe, I thank you for your invitation.” You smiled as you took in your surroundings. His home was a beautiful sprawling estate. He must have been wealthier than you thought. “You must give me a tour of the grounds - I would love to see the gardens.” You smiled at him as he offered you his arm.

“Of course Princess, I will show you whatever you wish after our meal - unless you’d like to go now?” He paused for a moment.

“After dinner would be just fine.” You answered as he guided all of you inside.

--

You weren’t sure what to expect about his home when the letter had come in earlier but it was a pleasant surprise. There were fresh cut flowers everywhere, painstakingly detailed tapestries hung up on the walls as you made your way to the large dining room. Lush carpets and plush chairs, truly a man who enjoyed his comforts.

“You have a lovely home Poe.” You smiled as he led you to your seat.

“I thank you Princess -“ He turned to Din and the other Mandalorians waiting by the table. “-Please, sit with us. I meant what I said, you are all welcome at my table.” He gestured to them to sit.

“I do not wish to intrude, we would be happy to eat with the rest of your household guard.” Din replied, his voice was clipped however.

“Nonsense. I insist, I dare say the Princess would be more comfortable if you were to join us.” He said it with an easy smile and Din hesitated slightly before agreeing. They all sat, lining their helmets up before them.

Din barely spoke.

He had never been one for long speeches - you were unsure whether it was because of the helmet, or just his nature. The other Mandalorians were friendlier and Poe took it all in stride. You could see that he took nothing personal and treated them just as he treated you.

Aside from Din’s cool demeanor and Poe’s etiquette, the dinner went well. The food was wonderful and you didn’t fail to notice some of your favourites on the menu.

“I took the liberty of finding out what you like to eat.” He said it quietly, not wanting to draw attention and you favoured him with a smile. It was hard not to like him, he was very thoughtful.

Once the meal was done, he fulfilled his promise and escorted you outside. It was much more open than the gardens back home - everything illuminated by torches and lanterns. There were flowers and neatly pruned shrubbery surrounding the large building. You noticed a stable on one side, as well a modest greenhouse on the other.

“It’s nothing compared to what you’re used to but I enjoy it. The kennels are just behind the stables and there are flowers and different fruit trees just to the right there - that’s where they get the most sun. I’m afraid the night doesn’t do it justice, it’s much lovelier during the day.” He was walking you through the grounds, your arm tucked under his as your party followed.

“It’s lovely, truly.” You were sincere and you couldn’t help but look up, the sky awash in stars. “I would imagine you must spend a lot of time out here.” You let him guide the way.

“Not as often as I'd like to, but I try. Perhaps when we marry I’ll make more of an effort.” He said it with a wink and you scoffed loudly but without malice.

“Oh is that so? Well then I suppose I’ll have to change some things around since in your mind I’ll live here hm?” Your tone was playful but sarcastic and you were acutely aware of Din following the two of you.

“Oh yes Princess, I am quite sure. My home is yours and you may do with it what you will. I live only to make you happy.” He was just as playful and as annoyed as you were that he was so confident in your union, it was also aggravatingly refreshing to be able to speak to someone so honestly - better yet for them to respond in kind.

You ignored it, Poe was charming, that’s all.

Much to your annoyance, the night was enjoyable. Poe was an excellent host and it was later than you had originally planned when you set off for home. The woods were pitch black in some spots, it made you anxious to ride in the wheelhouse while the world outside seemed like it didn’t exist. The soft light of the moon doing nothing to pierce through the darkness of the road at times.

Reaching the palace had been a relief and you said as much when you stepped out.

“You should have told me Princess, I would have ridden in it with you - if it would have helped.” He spoke as he guided you inside. You had wanted to, but the temptation of having him so close would have been too much - and as much as Mila knew about your feelings towards him - you didn’t want her to see you kissing him.

You patted his arm in silent thanks and he said nothing else.

When you reached your room you hesitated at the door, wanting him to pull you away somewhere but he didn’t - instead he waited until Mila got in. He took his helmet off and you smiled at the state of his hair. Your fingers itched to ruffle through it.

“Princess, if it’s not too late, I would ask you to join me for a midnight ride.” He waited for your answer and your smile widened.

“Of course! Would you permit me to change quickly?” You didn’t want to ride in such a stuffy gown - as beautiful as it was.

“I will wait however long it takes.” He motioned for you to go and you did - urging Mila to help you once you reached your bedchamber.

“The soft linen dress I think - with the long shift and the heavy cloak. I want to be comfortable and warm.” You changed as fast as humanly possible - all but ripping the jewelry off and within a few minutes you were rushing out the door. The two of you making your way towards the stables as silently as possible.

You watched him work deftly, his skilled hands saddling his horse with ease. One horse, not two.

“Are we to ride together?” You looked at him confused.

“Is this a problem for you Princess? I thought it might be quicker to get us to safety should something happen if we were on the same horse. I could saddle you your own if you prefer - we just wouldn’t travel too far.” He hesitated momentarily and your heart leapt at the thought that he would be holding you so closely.

“I trust your judgment Sir, one horse it is.” You kept your voice neutral and he nodded, finishing his work quickly. Once he was done - he helped you up and pulled himself up behind you. The cool beskar pressed up against your back as his arms reached around you to grab the reins.

Your dress pooled up around your thighs slightly, but your legs were covered by your big cloak but it was exciting nonetheless. You felt exposed, with his proximity it excited you way more than it should have. It felt forbidden, taboo and thrilling to have it feel like he was holding you. You couldn’t stop yourself from leaning back into his body slightly but he didn’t complain.

The ride through the forest was quiet except for the sound of the night birds, the crickets and the creatures that prowled at this time. The sound of the horses' steps, the sound of its breathing mixing with yours as well as Din’s. He rode through trees, through the little paths only he seemed to know and after a while you were beside a lake. The soft sound of the water kissing the shore added to the nightsong and you were happy that he had brought you here. He had been silent the whole ride, but you felt him take his helmet off behind you and secure it somehow to the saddle.

“You should know that you looked exceptionally lovely today Princess, blue is your colour.” His breath tickled your neck and you shivered. You turned slightly to look back but you couldn’t fully face him, the angle awkward but he kissed you just under your ear to let you know it was okay.

“I thank you Sir, I hoped you would like it.” You leaned back into his arms to tuck your head under his chin.

“You wore that for me? I thought you wore it for Dameron.” His hands came up to hold onto your arms as he pressed little kisses to your neck.

“I always dress for you.” You left it at that, hoping he would understand that despite everything- he was the one you wanted.

“Can I confess something?” His hand came up to slowly undo the cloak tied at your throat.

“Yes, anything.” You answered almost breathlessly, watching his hands open up the cloak to expose your shoulders, the skin of your thighs poking out where the dress had bunched up even more.

“You might think me wicked but, I thought about what it would be like to kiss you.” His hand trailed down as he spoke, rubbing at your thighs over your dress and you watched them in the low light of the moon, mesmerized.

“You’ve kissed me before Sir, you could kiss me now.” You turned a little more but he stopped you.

“I wasn’t thinking about kissing your mouth lovely girl, I was thinking about kissing you somewhere else.” His hands slowly gathered the fabric of your dress, bunching it in his fist - lifting it inch by inch to bare your legs to him. “May I show you where I want to kiss you?” He stopped but you clung onto his arms around you.

“Yes - please show me.” You felt is other hand join the fray and soon he had exposed your lower half to the cool night air. Your undergarments were damp you knew it - the arousal pooling low in your belly at the thought that he might touch you where you most wanted him to. He didn’t disappoint.

His hand trailed up your inner thigh lightly, slowly, up until he skillfully slid it into your undergarments. He groaned deep in his chest when he touched your bare sex.

“Right here. I long to kiss you, taste you here.” His touch was feather light on the lips of your womanhood, slipping along the seam of you. You whimpered, no one had ever touched you here and you felt the slick dripping out of you as you let him explore. “Would you let me Princess? Would you let me bury my tongue right here?” He dipped his fingers low, parting you slightly to dip his fingers just at the entrance - collecting your arousal onto his fingers before slipping them out and bringing them to his mouth behind you. You moaned at the sound of him sucking you off of them and you nodded frantically.

“Yes Din, I would let you - I’m yours.” You moaned the words and his other hand held you in place.

“And I am yours.” He responded before bringing his hand back to where you craved it, this time he spread the lips of your cunt open wide, honing his middle finger on the pearl of your sex. He rubbed tight, slow circles around it and you moaned - trying desperately to open your legs wider. He chuckled darkly behind you.

“Does that feel good Princess?” He turned your face with his other hand, twisting his upper body enough to capture your mouth in a messy kiss, not quite aligned but it sent a shiver of arousal through you and you felt yourself climbing higher and higher- his finger relentless as he sped up a little.

“Yes - Gods yes - it feels so good Din, I thought about you too.” You moaned the words into his mouth. “I think about you touching me like this, when I do it to myself.” He groaned at your confession, his tongue thick in your mouth when he kissed you again.

His finger dipped low to collect more wetness and the glide of it was just right, just slippery enough to send you over the edge and you almost screamed. Your body seizing up with pleasure as your sex clenched around nothing. He cooed into your ear as you rode it out.

“You are intoxicating my lovely one.” He kissed your neck, as he lowered your skirts.

You watched him, blissed out and boneless as he licked his fingers before grabbing the reins again and slowly making his way back to the palace.

-

Mila was snoring softly when you slipped into the room and you were careful not to wake her and as tired as you were from travel it took you a long time to fall asleep. Your heart full of love for Din and a hunger you couldn’t satiate filled your belly. It was a craving for his body, for his kisses, for physical love a woman shared with her husband. You fell asleep hoping - though secretly knowing- that he craved you the same way.

—-

As happy as you were when you awoke the next morning, it was quickly dampened - your father informed you that Poe was to arrive at the Palace as his honoured guest. That he was to stay for a time as a gesture of good will.

You saw right through it.

Your parents had decided that Poe was the suitor they wanted for you and they weren’t being at all subtle.

They informed you with big smiles on their faces, no doubt in hopes of pushing you towards him. It was exhausting - this constant reminder that you would never be truly free to live the life you wanted with Din.

When Poe arrived, he was happy - taking this as a sign that he was winning you over.

“Greetings Princess, I cannot tell you how happy I am to be able to spend more time with you.” He was all smiles and you had no choice but to smile back.

“It will be interesting for sure.” With the way you felt about Din, the intense desire to be around him was at the forefront of your mind. As well as the way Din behaved around Poe, it would definitely be interesting to say the least.

—

Your father invited Poe to dine at your private table, and he engaged him in conversation almost the whole night. They spoke of the future, of how Poe would help rule if he were indeed to marry you. Your mother smiled silently, happy to let the conversation center around the two of you.

Din stood still behind your fathers chair and you wanted nothing more than to pull him to sit with you. To talk to him, kiss him and feed him from your own plate.

“I would want to help people to be quite honest, extend a hand to those that aren’t as fortunate as us. There are people out there starving and that doesn’t sit right with me.” He was honest, to a fault like he said but you admired that.

“That’s very noble of you my boy.” The king nodded.

“It’s very honourable isn’t it my darling?” Your mother smiled at you and you smiled back, nodding around a bite of your food.

“I’m sure the Princess and I could do much and more to help the people who need it the most, if she would let me that is.” He had a shy, genuine smile for you, tentatively reaching over and taking your hand in his. You couldn’t very well snatch it back but you felt Din’s eyes burning into the interaction.

This could get messy.

“Princess, I would humbly ask that you accompany me for a walk through the grounds - chaperoned by your knight of course.” He asked as the remnants of the meal were taken away.

“Oh I’m sure she’d love to join you wouldn’t you sweetling?” Your mother cooed, and you smiled and nodded.

“Yes of course.” You let him guide you, Din following closely behind.

—

“I hope I’m not intruding - I know that the King and Queen are very keen for this to work between us.” He held your hand as you walked arm in arm and you couldn’t help but sigh softly.

“Yes they are aren’t they.” Your tone came out a little more exasperated than you’d hoped but he was well aware that you were not to be swayed by him so easily, you knew he should expect some hesitancy from you.

“I understand that you aren’t impressed and that I am most likely not your first choice. For all I know you might already have your eye on someone else.” He laughed and you couldn’t help but look over your shoulder at Din. “Regardless of that Princess, I know this must be difficult for you but I beg of you to give me a chance to show you that there is potential here. I believe that in time you might come to love me.” He pulled your hand up to his mouth and kissed your fingers.

“You are selling yourself quite hard Poe, I appreciate that you understand that my feelings for you aren’t where you want them to be.” You looked up at him apologetically, expecting him to have a sad look on his face but he surprised you; he was smiling - content to listen to you speak.

“I know, it’s not in you right now but I believe you will see me in a different light. I have faith.” He left the conversation there.

——

It was hard to find time to meet with Din, Poe seemed to be everywhere and his determination seemingly had no bounds.

Your mother found you as you dressed for the day - she had a note from Poe. He was asking you to accompany him into town to hand out some supplies. You couldn’t refuse him, not when your mother had delivered it herself.

“Will Din accompany us?” You asked it offhand, your voice neutral - your face a mask of nonchalance.

“No your father is going on a hunt and Din will be protecting him, there will be other guards with you.” She said it with a shake of her hand as she searched your wardrobe for an appropriate dress. “This will do nicely.” She picked out an off the shoulder, deep berry coloured dress that was not at all practical for a day out in the city.

It would have to do.

-

He had taken you to an orphanage in the heart of the city. There were kids running around of all ages and the older ones ran towards Poe when you entered - recognizing him. He had a big smile on his face as they hugged him around the middle, all decorum forgotten.

“Poe did you bring us anything?” A boy of about twelve years was eager, looking around you to the entourage of guards waiting behind you.

“Of course, brought all of you some good stuff like I always do.” He ruffled the boys hair before he held his hand out to you, you smiled and stepped forward. “I have someone very special here with me today, this is the Princess. Come on over and say hello.” He called them over to you and you saw some of the little girls eyes light up. They flocked to you, asking you if you were indeed the Princess. Asked you if you had a crown, and most importantly why you were there. They were precious.

“She’s here to help just like I am.” Poe answered for you.

A little girl of about six pulled on your dress and you lowered yourself slightly to be at her level.

“Princess, I like your dress, you’re so pretty.” She was smiling at you, her hair was a tangle but her eyes were bright.

“Thank you sweetling, you are much prettier I must say.” You moved the hair out of her eyes and she smiled wide, her little hand clutching at a makeshift cloth doll.

You helped Poe hand out toys and new clothes and there was food for them to eat. You spent the day playing with them and learning about their lives. The women who ran the orphanage knew him and you saw that all of the talk of helping the less fortunate was real, he had already been doing much more than you had ever even imagined.

It was hard to deny the little spark of something that he held within you.

He was handsome, he was kind and smart- funny and generous and with the way his eyes found yours throughout the day; he felt something for you. His eyes were piercing, dark and mysterious and for the first time, he gave you butterflies.

One of the little ones was showing you his space within the building, his bed and his tiny toy horse. He was waxing poetic about how one day he would be a knight. You were smiling at him when Poe stood next to you, his gaze heavy and it sent a flush crawling up your neck to light up your ears.

The fabric at his neck was crumpled and you couldn’t help but reach up to fix it, your arm extended over to him and his gaze focused on it, reached up to hold it to his neck. He placed a delicate kiss to your bicep and pulled you closer. The act was small, but so intimate it did something to you. Melted a tiny piece of you that up until now was frozen to him and he saw it on your face. Felt it in the way you let him hold you close, your arm still around his neck, his hand moving down to hold onto your waist.

The little boy was in front of you now, asking Poe if he would ever give him a real horse and he laughed, not unkindly.

“One day my boy, one day I will give you a horse - only if you promise to behave and be on your best behaviour. Can you do that?” The little boy nodded sagely promising he would. You didn’t pull your arm away, and you couldn’t pinpoint why.

—-

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[bamf-jaskier]

So I’ve been having a lot of thoughts about how imbalanced Geralt and Jaskier’s relationship is in the show and while I might make another post about it, I don’t think anything shows that better than by comparing the Djinn scene in The Last Wish vs the show. 

For the set-up to meeting the Djinn in the books, Geralt and Dandelion are fishing together. They are both holding onto a line in and manage to haul in a 12 foot long catfish by working together and on the other line they have in the river  Jaskier pulls out the Djinn’s amphora. In the show, Geralt is hunting the Djinn in an attempt to try and get some peace of mind. Jaskier happens to run into Geralt and watches as Geralt pulls out the Djinn. 

Scene from The Last Wish:

“Ha!” Dandilion exclaimed again, proudly. “Do you know what this is?”

“It's an old pot.”

“You're wrong,” declared the troubadour, scraping away shells and hardened, shiny clay. “This is a charmed jar. There's a djinn inside who'll fulfill my three wishes.”

The witcher snorted.

“You can laugh.” Dandilion finished his scraping, bent over and rinsed the amphora. “But there's a seal on the spigot and a wizard's mark on the seal.”

“What mark? Let's see.”

“Oh, sure.” The poet hid the jar behind his back. “And what more do you want? I’m the one who found it and I need all the wishes.”

“Don't touch that seal! Leave it alone!”

“Let go, I tell you! It's mine!”

“Dandilion, be careful!”

“Sure!”

“Don't touch it! Oh, bloody hell!”

The jar fell to the sand during their scuffle, and luminous red smoke burst forth.

The witcher jumped back and rushed toward the camp for his sword. Dandilion, folding his arms across his chest, didn't move.

The smoke pulsated and collected in an irregular sphere level with Dandilion's eyes. The sphere formed a six-foot-wide distorted head with no nose, enormous eyes and a sort of beak.

Compare that to the scene from the show: 

Jaskier: Wow. Wow. What is- What is that?

Geralt: [inspecting the stopper] It’s a wizard’s seal. The djinn.

Jaskier: Do you mind if I- [He grabs the pot.]

Geralt: Jaskier...

Jaskier: Take back that bit about my fillingless pie. Take it back and then you can have your djinny-djinn-djinn.

Geralt: Let go.

Jaskier: No! No, let go, you horse’s arse! [Geralt accidentally pulls out the stopper. Jaskier upends the pot, nothing happens.] Hm. That’s a bit of an anticlimax. [A sudden breeze ruffles their hair.] Or is it?

Now, it’s important to note that the dialogue is actually quite similar when Geralt and Jaskier are arguing about taking the jar and the seal. However, where it really differs is the context. 

In the show, Geralt finds the Djinn and Jaskier takes it from him without asking and Geralt is clearly annoyed by this. 

In the books, Dandelion finds the amphora and Geralt doesn’t believe it’s a Djinn while Dandelion does and Geralt tries to warn Dandelion of opening it because he considers it dangerous. 

It’s the difference between Geralt being genuinely annoyed at Jaskier vs Geralt being concerned for Dandelion’s safety. There is a weird amount of contention between Geralt and Jaskier in the show that makes their relationship feels honestly unhealthy in many ways. 

Scene from The Last Wish:

“Djinn!” said Dandilion, stamping his foot. “I freed thee and as of this day, I am thy lord. My wishes—”

The head snapped its beak, which wasn't really a beak but something in the shape of drooping, deformed and ever-changing lips.

“Run!” yelled the witcher. “Run, Dandilion!”

“My wishes,” continued the poet, “are as follows. Firstly, may Valdo Marx, the troubadour of Cidaris, die of apoplexy as soon as possible. Secondly, there's a count's daughter in Caelf called Virginia who refuses all advances. May she succumb to mine. Thirdly—”

No one ever found out Dandilion's third wish.

Two monstrous paws emerged from the horrible head and grabbed the bard by the throat. Dandilion screeched.

Again, Compare that to the scene from the show: 

Jaskier: Djinn, I have freed thee, and as of this day, I am thy lord. Firstly, may Valdo Marx, the troubadour of Cidaris, be struck down with apoplexy and die. Secondly, the Countess de Stael must welcome me back with glee, open arms, and very little clothing. Thirdly-

Geralt: Jaskier! [He grabs the back of Jaskier’s top and pulls him backward.]

Jaskier: Wha-

Geralt: Stop! There are only three wishes.

Jaskier: Oh, come on, you always say you want nothing from life. So how was I supposed to know you wanted three wishes all to yourself?

Geralt: I just want some damn peace!

Jaskier: Well, here’s your peace! [He throws the pot to the ground where it breaks. Geralt bares his teeth and growls before he bows down to collect the pieces, missing the fresh cut on his forearm. The wind intensifies and Jaskier raises a hand to his throat.] Geralt… Geralt… it’s the djinn! [Geralt casts a magical sign at the black, transparent smoke rushing by. Jaskier doubles over and clutches his throat.]

Geralt: Jaskier. [Jaskier vomits blood.]

Again, while the dialogue is very similar, especially in the case of Jaskier/Dandelion some of it being word for word in fact, Geralt in the books tries to protect Dandelion while the only thing Geralt focuses on is the wishes themselves. As well, in the books, Dandelion’s injury in the books is due to his own folly and arrogance while in the show, the writers make it indirectly Geralt’s fault. 

It’s another weird choice that seems to suggest a dislike and a hostility between Geralt and Jaskier. It seems that even subconsciously Geralt doesn’t want Jaskier around. 

Scene from The Last Wish:

“A troubadour,” repeated Chireadan, looking at Geralt. “That's bad. Very bad. The muscles of his neck and throat are attacked. Changes in his vocal cords are starting to take place. The spell's action has to be halted as soon as possible otherwise…This might be irreversible.”

“That means…Does that mean he won't be able to talk?”

“Talk, yes. Maybe. Not sing.”

Geralt sat down at the table without saying a word and rested his forehead on his clenched fists.

Again, Compare that to the scene from the show: 

Chireadan: His throat was attacked. If the spell’s action isn’t halted as soon as possible, that damage might be irreversible.

Jaskier: Wha- [vomiting more blood]

Chireadan: And the longer he goes untreated, the more likely it is to spread. He could die.

Jaskier: [gasps] Fuck! Geralt.

Geralt: Uh... Yeah, we won‘t let that happen. [pats Jaskier’s back]

In the books, Geralt shows genuine concern for Dandelion and is heartbroken by the idea that he might not be able to sing again. Remember, in the books, Dandelion’s injury is a result of his own folly and Geralt still feels this obvious and clear sadness. In the show--he just has this awkward grimace and pats him on the back. He almost seems to be there out of a strange sense of duty and doesn’t seem to feel too much guilt about his part in Jaskier’s injury. 

Even when they are reunited after Yennefer heals Jaskier, it is very different in the two mediums (I actually want to do another post about Yennefer in Bottled Appetites vs The Last Wish)

Scene from The Last Wish:

“Dandilion!” Geralt shouted, holding Krepp back, who was clearly getting ready to perform an exorcism or a curse. “Where have you…here…Dandilion!”

“Geralt!” The bard jumped up.

“Dandilion!”

Again, Compare that to the scene from the show: 

Jaskier: Oh, Geralt. Thank the gods. I might live to see another day. We need to go. 

Geralt: Jaskier, you’re okay.

Jaskier: I’m glad to hear that you give a monkey’s about it.

Geralt: Let’s not jump to conclusions. What happened?

Geralt and Jaskier are overjoyed to see each other in the books meanwhile in the show Geralt is just...okay about it. 

And it’s really strange because Netflix!Geralt can show emotion when he wants to, he does with Yennefer in Bottled Appetites and Rare Species, he shows fear when she is with the Djinn and care when they are in the tent together and yet --- this emotion is not extended to Jaskier. This isn’t simply a difference of Geralt’s characterization.

In the show, the writers created an imbalanced relationship between Geralt and Jaskier where Geralt never asked Jaskier to be there. The bard is constantly inserting himself into Geralt’s life when he is not wanted and testing Geralt’s boundaries without permission. He almost seems like an invader in Geralt’s life and it makes it so that I honestly can’t believably see Geralt and Jaskier traveling together for 20 years. 

Dandelion and Geralt protect each other, care for each other and worry about one another. Even from the beginning of the Djinn incident, they were fishing together. Geralt and Jaskier on the other hand have a relationship where Geralt begrudgingly tolerates Jaskier while Jaskier plows along blindly. It’s not healthy on either side. Geralt is putting up with someone he doesn’t seem to have a genuine connection with and Jaskier is pushing boundaries and constantly talking to a man who has no interest in listening. 

There is no reciprocal relationship between Geralt and Jaskier and I think in the end that’s why there is this hostility between the two of them.

[biggest-stupidhead]

more modern au levi x reader!! is it okay where reader makes petra jealous???

Just a reminder: WE DO NOT CONDONE PETRA SLANDER IN THIS HOUSE!!!

with that said, I will write this heavily focused on Petra to make it a lil angsty, hope you enjoy!

Summary: Petra watches her ex fall for another

Word Count: 1.7K

__ 

It had been two long years since Petra and Levi ended things. It wasn’t messy but it was painful, she had seen it coming from a mile away. He had grown just as distant as he had been when they first met. Staying late at work, texting her dryly, and using terrible excuses. Although she had known it was coming, she still was a wreck when he actually ended things. She spent the months following the break up drinking wine and crashing at Oluo’s place regularly. After two years she was finally feeling better, dare she say, ready to get back into the dating scene? Or at least that’s what she thought, she was scrolling through her instagram feed when she stumbled across Hange’s page. It was someone’s birthday, someone she wasn’t familiar with. 

A woman with bight eyes and an even brighter smile was in the center of the group photo. On her right was Levi, who had an arm thrown casually over her shoulder, the faintest trace of a smile on his lips. Petra pinched the screen to zoom into Levi’s side, where she saw a feminine hand on his waist. She stared stupidly at the image. She shouldn’t feel jealous, she had no right. It had been two long years since the break up. But the picture only dredged up old memories of times when she would hold Levi that same way. When that smile was directed to her. She then turned her attention to the caption, which read: 

Happy Birthday (Y/n)! 24 never looked so good!

She then scrolled through the comments, many of them consisted of birthday wishes and support. She lost interest when she didn’t see Levi’s username and instead went back to the collection of photos, three of them in all. The group one that she assumed had just been taken, the second one was a picture of Hange and you on the beach, Petra felt a involuntary wave of self consciousness wash over her at the site of you in a swim suite. The final picture was the one that hurt the most though, it seemed to be a very old picture of you, maybe from your early years in college? You were sitting on a couch with younger versions of Hange, Erwin, Levi, and Moblit. Levi’s arm was casually thrown over your shoulders. Why had he never mentioned you before? Were you the reason that they broke up? No Levi had assured her that it wasn’t like that, said he wasn’t seeing anyone else. She tried to stop herself from going down that rabbit hole, but she couldn’t seem to. Before she really knew what she was doing, she had clicked on your profile which she was almost disappointed to find as public. This meant that there was nothing stopping her from judging every perfect image that was posted, and to her pleasant surprise, there was only one photo of you and Levi. The photo was posted the week prior, the two of you were hiking in the mountains, the dusty trial behind you. Your face was flushed from the exertion of the climb, Levi seemed cool as a cucumber, his face blank and void of emotion. She scrolled through the post and found a video, the sound of your shoes crunching and Levi talking behind you were clear as day. 

“I mean come on, who uses fucking Lipton? Have some god damn class.” Levi spat, as you snorted in amusement. Petra found herself chuckling along with you at Levi’s little rant. She felt a rogue tear slide down her cheek when you showed the phone to Levi, who’s face fell from being mildly animated to apathetic once more. You cackled as he swiped the phone and the video ended abruptly. It was so innocent, it was clear from the rest of your page that you were a private person, much like Levi. With little indication that you were dating him, it left her wanting to know more. More about the girl that had taken her place, had managed to worm her way into Levi’s heart of stone and make herself comfortable. As soon as these thoughts crowded into her head, she deleted instagram all together and powered her phone down, determined to wipe her memory of the images she had seen. 

__

The music was a nice distraction from the awkwardness that hung in the air. You had arrived uncharacteristically early to Hange’s party, and consequently meeting a whole group of people that you had never met before. The new people were about your age, three young men and one stunning young woman. It was early fall and Hange’s annual bonfire bash as you all had dubbed the event. Basically you lit a massive fire, when you were younger it was your past assignments from your pervious school year, then it became just regular old wood. You tapped your finger against the cool beer bottle as you leaned up against the counter, the men were laughing obnoxiously as they dropped the alcohol that they’d brought into one of the many coolers. The woman was looking at you almost nervously, she seemed extremely on edge, shifting her weight back and forth, eyes wandering around the room in a jittery manner. You frowned, wondering what was bothering her, but ultimately deciding that it was not really your business. Erwin shimmied behind you, his hands on your shoulders as he slide past you into the kitchen. You caught his arm, clinging to his familiar presence. 

“Erwin.” you hissed as he stooped to reach your level. 

“Who are these people?” you asked as you held his bicep firmly in your grasp. He pulled away and looked at you with a confused expression. 

“You mean Levi didn’t tell you?” He said slowly, clearly he was unsure if it was his place to speak on the relationship between Levi and these people. 

“No....” You said carefully, not wanting to make Erwin uncomfortable. 

“Oh well they used to work in the same department before Levi switched.” He said, he looked over to the men and motioned for them to come over, they ambled over with curious expressions. 

“What’s up Erwin?” the dark haired man asked as he looked between the two of you. 

“Just thought I’d ought to introduce you to (Y/n) here, she’s an old friend of ours from high school.” Erwin explained, his hand still comfortingly placed on your mid back. You waved shyly and smiled at all of them, including the girl. 

“Pleasure to meet you.” The blonde with a ponytail said, outstretching his hand to shake yours. 

“I’m Eld, this is Gunther, Oluo, and that fine young lady over there is Petra.” He said, pointing at all of them respectively. 

“It’s so nice to meet you guys!” you said sweetly as you struck up a conversation with Oluo about what they thought about the department that they worked in. It didn’t go unnoticed that Petra remained nearly silent, her amber eyes wide and a bit fearful. When the interns arrived, the men were quick to go help them carry in the alcohol that they brought, leaving you and Petra alone in the kitchen. You cocked your head at her as you poured some pretzels into a large bowl. The warm glow of the setting sun cast a halo over her head and you couldn’t help but voice your admiration for her. 

“You’re really pretty.” you gushed as she blushed at your words and turned to look at you with wide eyes. 

“So are you...” She returned the compliment and you smiled, feeling more at ease now that the two of you were alone. 

“So how long have you known Hange?” You asked conversationally as you crumpled up the bag and tossed it into the trash. 

“Hm let’s see...about four years now?” She responded with a bit of a wistful tone. 

“Really? I’m surprised we haven’t met sooner!” you chuckled as the two of you opened a bottle of wine and poured it into two large glasses. The two of you strolled out into the bark yard, where Hange and Moblit were chucking large pallets of wood onto the fire pit. You and Petra sat down in two lawn chairs watching as Hange and Moblit bickered over if it was safe enough to light the fire with gasoline. 

“I am too, you seem....like a really nice girl.” Petra said a bit downcast as she looked deeply into her wine. 

“So do you! We should grab breakfast ooo or maybe even brunch sometime!” You said excitedly and Petra sat there in awe, wondering if there was even a mean bone in your body. Or if you had any clue that she had dated Levi. 

“Yeah...this is kind of random but...are you dating Levi?” She blurted out, her face turning to look at you with a flushed expression. You nodded nonchalantly and took another sip of your wine. 

“Yeah we just started dating about a year ago.” You said with a shrug, Petra inhaled, readying herself for the next words that would either make or break the future relationship between the two of you. 

“Did...you know we dated?” she said, cringing when the words left her mouth. She sounded crazy and she knew it, but she felt obligated to clear the air between you before it got bad. 

“Hm I think he mentioned it once or twice, and Hange told me about you when you first started dating.” You said looking up thoughtfully, your tone held no malice or any sign of ill will. 

“You’re not...” 

“Insecure? Nah, and don’t take that like I’m being cocky! I just mean that...” 

“No, no let’s just not do this. I’m sorry for bringing it up. God I’m such a bitch.” Petra went to stand and you followed her, catching her wrist. 

“It’s alright really, I don’t care about what happened between you and Levi. It’s frankly none of my business, I just...wanna be friends with you.” you smiled at her sheepishly as she looked at you with wide eyes. 

“Oh” She managed to say dumbly. 

“That is if you want to be friends.” You said, letting go of her hand and giving her some space. 

“Yeah...I think that I’d like that very much.” Petra said with a bright smile. 

__

In honor of Women’s History month, I couldn’t bare to write something that was a stereotypical jealous ex, so I did the next best thing and wrote this more geared towards the reader and Petra bringing each other up instead of tearing one another down. As someone who was apart of the fandom back in like 2014 I am way too familiar with writers turning Petra into a psycho bitch, and I don’t like that. SO I hope that this is good enough to fit the prompt! 

[anywherebuthere]

I had a dream about you last night || j.p.

James Potter x fem!reader

“Even when you’re gone, you are all that haunts my dreams.”

Wordcount: 1969

A/N: Happy (belated) birthday to the only man ever <33 I am illiterate, so I had a mental breakdown writing this <3 please enjoy!! special thanks to @anchoeritic and @gxtitobxby for supporting me via discord and for making fun of the time I got hit by a car :)) @skullsontess07​ I finally posted it pls don’t hurt me <33

Warnings: alcohol, allusions to sex, death, bad writing, especially towards the end. barely proofread because I don’t believe in mistakes <3 /j

Please do not repost this!! I do not consent to this piece of fiction being published on any other site besides tumblr unless it by my doing.

The ticking of the grandfather clock thrummed in James’ ears as he tipped back the empty bottle, the smell of whiskey heavy in the air. He leaned his head against the cold surface of the white plaster wall, scanning the textured ceiling with misty eyes. His home, still half furnished, was riddled with traces of something better forgotten. Even with the weight of alcohol on his breath, his mind is running with memories and daydreams of her. 

He closed his eyes, forcing the imagery away. In the distance, a train chugged on, its lone whistle echoing in the night, and James can’t help but be pulled into an uneasy slumber, memories still flashing through his mind like a broken film. 

-

“Prongs, you git! We’re going to miss the train if you don’t hurry your fat arse.” Remus shouted, frustration seeping into his humoured voice. 

“Relax Moony, we’ll be fine,” he replied, breath heaving slightly from sprinting across Platform 9¾, just narrowly having avoided knocking over an elderly witch. 

As the four boys approached the entrance of the cart, the train’s departing whistle blared. They boarded quickly, though not without receiving a glare from a crew member.

Hurrying down the corridor, the boys glanced through every compartment window, though each appeared to be full of giggling sixth years. That is, with the exception of one.

Near the back end of the Hogwarts Express, was, at last, an empty compartment save for a singular figure slumped against the window. With no other choice of seating, the gaggle of boys slipped in silently, Sirius and Remus snagging the seats opposite to the slumbering girl, their pinkies linked as they whispered conspiratorially amongst themselves. 

Peter, as adverse to the female race as ever, took the seat closest to the door, leaving James to be wedged between the mousy blonde and the stranger, careful not to bump her with his broad shoulders.

The train ride was filled with hushed whispers as the marauders discussed this year's prank for the welcoming feast, a customary tradition they held sacred, as to “start the year right.” 

As they began going over the mechanisms of their plan, they felt the train begin to swerve as it approached a sharp turn. The compartment shook slightly and James suddenly felt a weight on his right side.

He stiffened, glancing over to see that the girl’s head had lulled over from the compartment wall and onto his shoulder. James recognized her as a student in their year. Y/N, who had tutored Regulus the same day that James had helped Sirius prank him as petty revenge for a now long-forgotten argument. 

And well, perhaps James had wanted her to notice him for once. If so, it had been a successful endeavour as he remembered the way her face had contorted in anger, though her attention had remained just as elusive for the remainder of their fifth year. So… perhaps not so successful.

He flushed at the memory. She was now even prettier than the year prior.

“Oh? Is that a blush we see, Moony?” Sirius taunted, nudging Remus with his elbow as he snickered at James’ scowl.

“Bloody hell, piss off, will you? You’ll wake her–” 

He felt her suddenly stir beside him, brows creasing as though on the cusp of consciousness. 

James held his breath.

The moment passed as Y/N nudged her face further into the crook of his neck before settling back into a peaceful slumber.

Perhaps he wouldn’t need the prank to start the year right this time around. 

-

It seemed that sixth year would be a good one for James. 

In the early morning of a mid-March day, an unlikely scene unfolded between the shelves of Hogwarts’ library. There he sat beside a bleary Y/N, voice still drowsy with sleep as she read aloud a passage from the Herbology textbook perched between them.

Initially, James had detested the thought of having to wake up at such an ungodly hour for the sake of a project. No other time had fit, not with his Quidditch practices and her absurd number of tutoring sessions. 

Though now, as the early rays of sunrise filtered through the library’s mullioned windows onto her skin, James thinks that there is nowhere else he would rather be.

He thinks this moment will be ingrained in his mind forever. 

“–once a century, the Flutterby bush produces flowers able to attract the unwary.” she paused to yawn, eyebags evident as she turned to meet James’ gaze. She scrunched her nose and he swore he swooned at the very sight. “Are you even listening to me, Potter?”

“I’m always listening to you,” he replied, tilting his head. She grins in response and he notices just how beautiful it is. 

She shifted her gaze back to the textbook lying in their laps, picking up where she had left off.

“Its scent adapts–”

James leaned forward suddenly, capturing her lips in his. The book fell closed between them.

Immediately, almost though by instinct, Y/N reciprocates, moving her lips gently against his as her hand cups his cheek. James finds himself gripping that hand as his other wraps around her waist, finding the small of her back and pulling her impossibly close against him.

She tasted of cherry chapstick and peppermint bubblegum, and though there was nothing particularly special about those flavours, on her, James swears that he could drown in his intoxication alone. Her perfume wafts through the air, the scent causing him to groan against her mouth. 

When they separated at last, his head was swimming in euphoria, his expression dazed. Y/N blinked up at him, sleep wiped entirely from her expression.

“Its scent adapts itself during these times to attract said unwary.” she finishes, sounding breathless still, voice trailing off as James began to laugh hysterically.

She rolled her eyes, smiling sheepishly. 

When James still couldn’t stop laughing, Y/N gripped his haphazardly tied red and gold tie, using it to pull his soft lips against hers once more and he was sure in his mind that there would no one else for him.

-

Beneath a great oak tree in the courtyard lay two figures. Under the tree’s twisting branches, they hid in its cool shade from the sweltering afternoon sun. Few places aside from the castle offered shelter from June’s blistering heat and as the semester approached its end, they finally allowed themselves to rest in the gentle breeze. 

James was leaning against the thick trunk while Y/N’s head lay in his lap. His elbow was resting on her abdomen as she drew on his hand, doodling intricate flower designs alongside some… less desirable things.

He felt his heart swell with joy as her laughter filled the summer air and before he could catch himself, he blurted out the thought that had been weighing in the back of his mind since they had started dating.

“Do you ever think about your future?" 

He felt the scratch of her muggle pen slow, as though pausing in thought.

"I want to grow old and die surrounded with people I love, knowing I lived a long and fulfilling life. You know, typical boring stuff," she replied after a moment's consideration. Her eyes twinkled with more, though Y/N never indulged in half-thought-out plans. 

"What about you?" she questioned with the tip of her head. James didn’t need time to think about it. He had known his answer since that fateful September morning when she had slept on his shoulder throughout the entirety of the train ride.

"I don't care what my future is as long as you're there" he answers truthfully.

Y/N flushed, her ears heated. She looked away, the corners of her lips turning up in the barest hint of a smile.

James freed his hand from her loose grasp, hooking her chin to look back towards him before leaning in to kiss her.

Even after all these months, he relished in the taste of her lips. He doubts he’ll ever be able to get enough of the feeling.

He doubts he’ll ever be able to get enough of her.

-

The sun was setting in the west on a quiet evening, its golden rays shining on the slick skin of two lovers as they untangled themselves from the sheets, unable to hold in their laughter when one got his foot stuck in the knot of their crochet blanket. 

The air hung heavy with the scent of sweat and endorphins as Y/N laid back, her body still bare, not bothering to cover it.

James propped his elbow beside her head, careful not to press on her spread-out hair, his face filled with ecstasy and pure bliss. 

He will never get used to the sight of her in his bed, giggling as the sun reflected off her silky skin. The image of her underneath him is cemented in his mind, permanently lodged there as solid as concrete. He knows now with absolute certainty that there would be no one else for him. 

James’ smile widened further as he nudged his nose into the crook of her neck, leaning in to place a kiss there when his vision blurred.

It was no longer sunset. Rather, the two of them were now enveloped in the dark of night and James is certain he hears the echo of a familiar spell ring off in the distance.

He pulls away from Y/N’s neck. 

She was no longer shaking with laughter, but rather, writhing in pain. There were lacerations all across her torso and James felt something sticky underneath his hands.

They were laying in a pool of her blood.

Panic clawed at his throat and though he had never been averse to the sight of blood, yours was an exception. The taste of bile clung to his tongue. 

“No... No no no no no,” he whispered in disbelief. Swivelling his head, outside the window, he spots a cloaked figure wearing a mask of silver disapparate. 

“No!” 

Grasping for the wand strapped to his side, he murmurs a healing spell, gasping for breath when the wounds remain open. His head was spiralling as Y/N shook her head almost imperceptibly, grabbing at his wrist with a shaking hand.

Carved into her arm was the word “MUDBLOOD” and James felt his vision turn red, suddenly hyper-aware of the blood pumping through his veins.

“James…” she rasped. He gripped her shaking hand.

“Why isn’t it working? Why?” he cried, tears streaming down his face, struggling to breathe.

“Whatever our souls are made of,” she gasped, blood spurting out of her mouth. Her beautiful mouth, the one that tasted of cherries and peppermint, was covered in thick, crimson blood. “you and I are connected.” 

“No! Stop with this rubbish, you’re not going to die!” he sobbed, gripping her bloodied hand like a vice. She continued as though he hadn’t even spoken.

Perhaps she was too far gone to hear him.

“Wh-whatever is beyond this life,” violent ruby coated her mouth as she coughed, blood splattering onto her smooth skin. “Promise me, y-you’ll find me again.”

“I promise,” he cried, sobs racking through his body. 

But she was already gone.

-

James woke with a start, gasping for breath with the taste of blood and “promise” still coating his tongue. He was alone in a house built for two.

In his fitful sleep, he had knocked over the empty bottle of whiskey beside him.

She had hated whiskey.

Had. 

A fresh wave of misery washed over James, adding to the dull pain that never seemed to go away, throbbing through him as naturally as the blood in his veins. It wasn’t enough that she existed still within every corner of their shared home.

Even in his dreams, he is haunted by her memory.

ㄧ

@catching-the-train-to-hogwarts

[falcons-wings]

spark

bucky barnes x female reader

summary: when trying to get away from a guy who wont leave reader alone, bucky helps get rid of him

warnings: piece of shit dude who harasses and doesnt take no for an answer, swearing ,, pretty fluffy especially towards the end

wc: 1.3k+

masterlist

a/n: decided to do my first bucky work to beef up my masterlist a little and as a small break from the sam series im gonna post soon ,, hope its alright :)

(gif by @1038276637 )

Bucky still felt uncomfortable in incredibly crowded places, he didn’t know whether this was because of his time in the war or all of the shit that happened to him afterwards; either way loud places just like this bar he had been dragged to by Sam unnerved him - there were just so many noises and different possible dangers, so he was on edge all night.

He wasn’t even sure where Sam had disappeared to, he last saw him with a pretty girl, leaving him sat at the bar alone. He didn’t hold this against him though, he knew he wasn’t always the best person to be around, especially in a place like this, but Dr Raynor kept telling him he ‘needed to reenter society and spend time with friends’. And unfortunately for him Wilson was one of the only people he could maybe consider a friend at the moment and who had been annoying him about coming out to this bar for a while, so here he was, drinking a beer that had no effect on him at the bar on his own and listening to the weird music of the 21st century playing in the background.

He was almost finished with his drink and ready to leave when you sat next to him, you leaned into him as if you knew him and your smile was kind, but he could see a slight panic in your eyes. Something was obviously wrong and you leaned slightly closer to kiss his cheek whilst whispering so quiet he almost missed it.

“Really sorry about this but there’s a creepy guy who won’t leave me alone can you quickly pretend you’re here with me?”

Before Bucky even had a chance to reply to you or react, a large man with a gruff face and the smell of alcohol on his breath appeared at your shoulder with a predatory look in his eyes. Bucky’s eyes didn’t leave the man as soon as he was in sight, so he felt more than saw you move closer to him and away from this man who was eyeing you like a piece of meat.

“Hey sweetheart you left before we finished our conversation, why don’t we finish it somewhere else?”

You opened your mouth as if you were gonna say something, but apparently thought better of it and instead turned to Bucky with pleading eyes. He knew he couldn’t make a scene as that would end badly for multiple people so he was now just trying to control his anger at this piece of shit human being before he beat him up.

Bucky put his hand on your shoulder to pull you a little closer and to try and comfort you a little , “She’s with me, so why don’t you leave?” He made sure his voice was firm and clear, hoping this man would get the idea to leave you alone.

The man looked at him, and his arm around you, and glared, apparently able to tell that Bucky wasn’t one to mess with.

The man looked at you again before huffing out a breath, giving one last glare at Bucky before turning around and stalking back into the crowd.

“Again, I am really sorry about that.” You shuffled away slightly to break the contact you had with him, turning to face him instead, and he couldn’t help but find himself almost missing the close contact.

“Was he bothering you for long?”

“Not really, it was only about 10 minutes but anytime I tried to show or say I wasn’t interested he didn’t seem to get the hint unfortunately.” You gave him a small smile as if to say ‘what can you do?’ But this was completely not fine and Bucky thought that surely it should be a bigger deal than you were making it out to be?

“Have you seen him at this bar before?”

“Um no, this is the first time I’ve actually been to this place, my friends said I should have some fun for once - but obviously that wasn’t what actually happened tonight”

“Oh, well I’m sorry even if it hasn’t got anything to do with me and honestly I don’t come out at all but my friend actually annoyed me into coming tonight before he disappeared on me.” He laughed, glad to see you smile slightly too.

It was clear you were much more comfortable now the creep was gone but you still weren’t at ease, fiddling with your ring on your thumb during the conversation.

“I really am thankful you helped me though, and if you’re not usually here I am glad you were tonight, not sure I want to think about what would have happened if you weren’t.”

“Well you don’t have to think about it.”

You looked up at him to give him a small smile, making proper eye contact with for the first time since you sat down.

“I do have one question though.” He asked, waiting for you to nod before he continued, “Why did you pick me to help you? I mean I’m happy to, it’s just there’s just plenty of other men here who would probably love to scare someone away from you.”

“You looked the most serious and not as drunk as everyone else, so I assumed you would be more reliable and-“

You hesitated slightly as if you were embarrassed before continuing, “And I guess you looked a little lonely and could do with some company.”

Bucky almost choked on his drink, he could admit the wasn’t the most social person but normally when people describe him its things like: mean, tired, cold and stuff like that - normally lonely wasn’t used.

“Oh shit was that rude? I’ll get going now.”

“No don’t worry there’s much worse things you could’ve said.”

“That’s good then, I wouldn’t want to insult my fake boyfriend on our first date.” You laughed, a proper laugh that Bucky couldn’t help but laugh with you, and despite barely knowing you, he would do anything to hear you laugh like that again.

“Are you still planning on heading out?”

“Yeah my bed is calling my name after this long day I think.”

“Do you feel safe walking on your own? Because as you said I’m very sober and it would be irresponsible if I didn’t make sure a lovely lady like you got home safe.”

“Wow a man of honour,” you smirked at him, “but yes if you don’t mind that would actually be great. On one condition though.”

“What condition?”

“You tell me your name, I can’t go around being protected by a man I don’t know the name of.”

“Bucky.”

Your smile grew a little wider and he absolutely loved seeing it, “Well Bucky, it’s nice to meet you, I’m y/n.”

You held out your hand for him to shake as you both stood up, and despite the warm feeling Bucky got in his chest at being in proximity to you, he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, so stepped away. He held the door of the bar open for you as you left, and kept a small distance away from you the whole way to your apartment block, being a complete gentlemen, just like he was raised.

When the two of you were outside your apartment, he stood to the side whilst you fumbled with your keys, and when you were finally successful in opening the door you turned back to him, a nice smile on your face.

“Thanks again for all the help Bucky, you were a fantastic fake boyfriend and it was lovely to meet you.”

“Again it was no problem, and you weren’t too bad at being a fake girlfriend yourself doll.”

There was a slight blush on your cheeks as you looked at him one last time, “Goodnight Bucky.”

You didn’t wait for his response, instead just walking into your apartment, and Bucky found himself with an uncharacteristic grin on his face as he stood there, whispering “Goodnight y/n.” before walking away, hoping that he would bump into you again some day.

[drabsyo]

I was wondering...I was always confused about Narcissa’s hair. It’s been a while since I read the books. Did she color it blonde to show her now belonging to House Malfoys. Or was it naturally blonde? Movies confused me a bit I guess.

Yes, this had me confused too! I've agonized and toiled over it, more than I probably should, about how I should draw her hair because people have generally different views, which is totally understandable! 💕

And I've always wanted to discuss it, so now that I've been given a reason to... Well.

If you take a look at some of my Narcissa fanart, you'll notice the different ways I'd color her hair. I was so confused. Is she a light blonde? Dark blonde? A mix of raven hair and blonde hair? If she has blonde hair then why does her family have (mostly) dark hair? And WHY does she have blue eyes?! This woman is absolutely confusing! (Which is kind of, you know, fitting because Narcissa always loves to be a mystery to literally anyone lol)

So I did my homework, asked around, and scoured every bit of information, canon or otherwise, that I could find about her. It led me to this:

In canon, this is what the Black sisters look like. You can find the page here. Narcissa is a child here, and already has blonde hair. So we can go ahead and safely assume that she was born with natural blonde hair. But in the films, Narcissa has black and blonde hair. I don't actually know why they gave her that hair color, maybe so that the audiences wouldn't question her blood relations with the Blacks--I don't know. I really don't. But now we have a book version Narcissa, one who has full blonde hair. And a movie version Narcissa, one who has raven and blonde hair. At least, that's how the different hair colors started: a movie version, and a book version.

So... here's where it gets confusing.

To my knowledge, it isn't actually explained why her hair color is the way it is in both the movies and the books. Having blonde hair does raise many questions, how is she the "only" blonde in a family of dark hair and dark eyes? To top it all off, it gets even more confusing, because fanon writes and draws her either as a full blonde or a mix of raven and blonde hair. We just have this large pile to sift through of her having either hair color. No one actually explains anything. She's just... infuriatingly there. She's either blonde or raven haired and blonde. BUT fanfiction writers, as I've observed, give their own reasons why Narcissa's hair color is the way it is in their respective stories. And it's actually pretty creative and interesting! It adds even greater depth to her character, and it fits the narrative of the story even better. Remember, the character we're dealing with is Narcissa Black. One of her main traits is "she won't do anything unless there is a clear purpose behind it." This character is deliberate, meticulous, and she makes sure to plan ahead at all times. And so, some fanfiction writers decide to play on that.

You can skip this part if you want to avoid spoilers but I've compiled a small list of instances in (Cissamione) fanfiction where Narcissa's hair is mentioned.

🔹 In Extinction by rubikanon in Chapter 10: Build and Break, Hermione asks Narcissa about it. Here, Narcissa has black and blonde hair. She explains that she only decided to dye it blonde to "fit in with the Malfoys." We can gather two things from that alone, which resonates with her character perfectly: 1.) Narcissa is loyal and 2.) Narcissa purposefully wants to show the rest of the world how loyal she is by committing to having blonde hair. The woman has some serious commitment, and it shows. But now, the way that it's slowly growing back into her natural black hair color, hints that perhaps Narcissa no longer wishes to fit in with the Malfoys. However, if we take an even closer look, we can safely assume that Narcissa isn't the kind of person to just leave her hair color "unattended" like that. Remember, she's meticulous. And this is a big deal for her, the fact that she's just kind of letting it grow back instead of either fully dyeing it back to black, or dyeing it back to blonde. It suggests that perhaps she's a little unsure this time, perhaps it is her uncertainty that is the reason why it's now a mix of both. Another grey area? Or maybe it's actually something more deliberate? Maybe now, she likes that it's a mix of both. That other half now being solely for Draco, and not to fit in (completely) with the Malfoys any longer. Who knows why Narcissa does things the way she does? We can speculate to the ends of the earth, or be as smart as Hermione Granger (or with the case of Extinction, see Hermione's thoughts), but something tells me we'd still be a good step behind.

"Which one is your natural hair color?" I wondered aloud.

(Narcissa) She glanced up at the unexpected question. I was relieved she hadn't sensed my attention yet. It's not like I meant anything by it, I told myself. She was so beautiful, one couldn't help but notice. And feel physically drawn to her. And want to see her two-toned hair fanned across her back, slipping over the bare skin, silky beneath my fingers...

"Why do you ask?" Her query brought me back to reality, and I hurriedly corrected my imagination to include a pretty dress covering the rest of her.

"I don't know." I chewed the inside of my cheek, suppressing my other thoughts. "I'm just curious."

Her gaze returned to the fire. "You've seen enough of my relatives to guess which color is genetic. The blond is something I added to fit in with the Malfoys, after Draco was born." She was quiet for a moment. "He looks so much like his father. I suppose I wanted to share some resemblance."

🔹 In Killing Me Softly by Looktotheedges in Chapter 4: Nagging, Hermione suggests that perhaps Narcissa is part Veela because of her blonde hair and very attractive features, like Fleur. Which is this whole other theory/plot that's very interesting, but won't be discussed in this post. Narcissa tells Hermione that Sirius has always been blonde, and that it isn't out of the question for her to be blonde either. Sirius Black. A blonde. I know! Maybe it's there because it's funny that Sirius is actually blonde like Narcissa. Prissy, haughty, lady-like Narcissa. Arguably the 'girliest' cousin that he has. No, no, no. He doesn't want to be anything like Narcissa. Anyway, if that's the reason, I think that's hilarious and cute.

Narcissa turns away. 'I am aware my appearance is frightfully drab. Work has been…'

Hermione holds back a disbelieving scoff. 'Narcissa. You always look beautiful. And you’re talking to the witch with grass in her hair who practically lives in her office all week.'

Narcissa just leans further over the crib. 'A blonde little boy. It has been so long since… I can almost imagine…'

Hermione stands next to her. Looks down at the peacefully sleeping Louis. He does look remarkably like Draco. 'Are you sure there’s no Veela blood in you? You weren’t secretly switched at birth?'

'Like a changeling?'

'It would explain your blonde hair.'

'Sirius was also blonde, it is not completely out of the question for us Blacks.'

What?!

(...) 'I know. But it is the truth. He was blond until he was about seven… then it began to darken. Mousy. Dull. He wanted to look cool and brooding instead, so he got his hands on some kind of charm right before he set off for Hogwarts. A new, edgy Sirius. It was around then he forbade us from calling him Siri. Said it sounded too girly.'

🔹 In Fixed in Time by TheWorldsaBeastofBurden in Chapter 9: Sisters and Saviors, it's also tackled a little humorously. Andromeda let's a little comment slip while they're in the middle of trying to heal Hermione. Something funny, something that suggests Andromeda and Bella, when they were children, have always wondered why Narcissa is blonde unlike them.

The first words spoken occurred after they’d risen and attempted their casting. Andromeda’s preparedness to take on their task had been clear in her mind so Narcissa rose with her sister, wrapped an arm around her waist and held her near as the woman raised her wand to draw up the rest of the injury she’d dropped, half a slash across Hermione’s hip bone…

That remained half, as Andromeda growled out, “...it isn’t working.” she looked to Narcissa, “Why aren’t you powering me?”

What nonsense? “I am!” she insisted. She was! Or “I- I am trying to!” Her magic was active and alive, pulsing to rise from her skin and transfer into Andromeda’s but it- it wasn’t working! “Could...could it be that you were disowned?”

“Disowning doesn’t take away the fact that we share blood, our magic is directly related. Ugh, Bella always said you were adopted!”

“Oh ha- oh.”

“...oh?” Andromeda returned.

“...it’s not an issue of power. It is what I intend to aid in casting,” Narcissa slowly worked out. Oh, it was most blessed Mister Goyle could be brought to assist the present Hermione. If her present self had been brought to aid Andromeda? “...I cannot harm Hermione.”

Andromeda sighed with some frustration. “I understand you are so tenderly in love-”

“It isn’t- I’m avowed! I- when we arrived from the future we had to escape Malfoy Manor, I couldn’t bring Hermione through the wards without...I couldn’t add her directly, that would be visible. I had to...attach her permission to mine.”

🔹 In Glass Silence by Zarrene Moss (Menzosarres), which probably gives one of the most interesting backstories for Narcissa's hair, for why it's blonde. I can't put a clip of the scene here without hogging up a huge chunk of space on your dash, so I'll try to explain it as best I can instead.

Understand that these come with serious 🛑spoilers🛑 so please do read it at your own risk.

In Glass Silence, Narcissa's hair and eye color was black at birth. But after an accident with raw magic, something Bellatrix wasn't able to control when they were children, Narcissa almost dies. Bellatrix, using even more raw magic, tries desperately to pull Narcissa's "life force" back, but at the cost of losing the eumelanin that made Narcissa's eyes and hair black. Narcissa survived, but now has very little eumelanin left, which is why she's so pale, blonde, and has blue eyes. Every time Narcissa looks at a mirror, her reflection is a reminder of the day she almost died. Bella, on the other hand, is reminded of that day every single time she looks at Narcissa.

So! These are only a few fanfictions I could think of at the top of my head that tackles the issue of Narcissa's hair. In the books, to my knowledge, she is described as having blonde hair and very pale skin.

But let's take another deep dive, if you're up for it.

These are mostly theories, which are largely unconfirmed, but I think they're interesting to think about.

There's this description in the wiki:

"Narcissa Malfoy is described as tall, slim, "nice looking", and very pale, with blue eyes, long blonde hair, and a clear, cold voice. Her hair colouring thus differs from most of the House of Black, who generally have dark hair, though Narcissa does possess the arrogant good looks characteristic of her family."

There's also this pinterest photo of the Black sisters being compared to each other side by side, descriptively and physically. I'm so sorry, I don't know who drew it, but here's a link to the post on pinterest.

"Narcissa threw back her hood. She was so pale she seemed to shine in the darkness... long blonde hair streaming down her back."

Which is interesting because this hints that she's... different. It's a bit literal in this sense--she comes from a pureblood family, arguably the most influential and notorious one, the Blacks, who mostly have dark hair and eyes, and yet her physical appearance directly contrast that. There's also the matter of her namesake. She's the only Black to be named after a flower instead of a galaxy or a star. We aren't really given any explanation why she's the only one who's different. Even Sirius, who fought and died for the side of the Light, is named after the brightest star in the sky. Even Andromeda. It's been said that this is actually meant to be a parallel of some sort to Lily Evans. Narcissa and Lily are both named after flowers, even Petunia (Lily's sister). And I know there's this thing where it's a tie up to how Harry was ultimately saved by a mother's love: Harry lived at the beginning because of his mother's love, and Harry lives once again at the end of the books because Narcissa, a mother who wanted to save her own son, saved him.

If you read that scene in the books where Harry is saved by Narcissa, the whole scene is actually... pretty soft? There's that sort of disarming softness about Narcissa in that moment, where Harry expected to be callously dragged and prodded for a heartbeat. Instead, he gets a surprisingly gentle touch, a curtain of long blonde hair shielding him from the darkness, and the kind of tenderness he wouldn't expect from his enemies, "Is Draco alive?"

It's almost like Narcissa's appearance is something of a "tell". With Andromeda, she's described to have kind eyes, open, unguarded. She inherited her family's dark eyes and dark hair, and she even looks like Bellatrix's twin. I suppose we could say, Andromeda wants to fight that in any way she can by being openly kind. Narcissa is quite literally the opposite--guarded eyes, stoic expressions, cool and calculated emotions. We're veering into this fine line between fanon and canon in terms of their characterization (but only due to lack of canon materials) but personally, I think Narcissa having blonde hair and blue eyes is somewhat more fitting for her character. Again, this line:

"Narcissa threw back her hood. She was so pale she seemed to shine in the darkness... long blonde hair streaming down her back."

It's like that one glaringly obvious hint that everyone overlooks simply because... because it's the most obvious one. "Me! I'm different! I'm the last person you'd expect, but it really is me!"

Anyway. I've rambled on long enough. Hope this clears up some of that confusion, anon. Hoping it didn't ADD even more confusion... 😂 At the end of the day, this is just me speculating, gushing, and being One Big Fool™. So.

But either way, blonde hair, dark hair, mix of both, I adore her. Pretty much.

[mvrtaiswriting]

We were 18. - Jotaro Kujo.

Me?? Posting something about Jotaro?? How strange. This piece of work is also dedicated to two of my comfort characters, Kakyoin and Joseph. This artwork is really important to me, it really holds a special place in my heart so.. enjoy! 

Neutral reader x Jotaro Kujo

Jojo’s bizzare adventures: Stardust Crusaders (spoilers)

AU

SFW | fluff 

Trigger warning: usual jojo violence, reference to grief, insomnia.

Word count: 1760.

The ‘continue reading’ button is there for space purposes, to make the reader avoid any possible spoiler and/or sensible topics.

Hi! Are you a new reader? Check my masterlist for more content!

Please feel free to reblog or leave a comment :) help me support my art (it’s free!),

© bearing in mind everything I post/write is my intellectual property so please don’t steal/copy and paste and post it as yours.

Since you returned from your tumultuous trip in Egypt, your life has never been the same. Once you came back to your hometown, not a moment passed by when you didn’t remember the terrible scenes you’ve witnessed during the fight with Dio. The memory of Kakyoin’s death was still so vivid in your mind and the more you tried to shake that thought out of your head, the more you kept reliving it – over and over again.

There were times when you swore you saw Kakyoin among a crowd of people; times when you could just hear his voice calling your name. Every time you closed your eyes Avdol, Kakyoin and Iggy were there. You barely slept anymore – most of the times you did so, you had nightmares about what happened in El Cairo. You lost count of how many nights you have spent crying in your bed, curled up in between your sheets in the silence of your lonely house. Living alone didn’t help; you were used to sneak into one of the crusaders’ room whenever you needed a shoulder to cry on or, simply, a place where you could feel safe. It wasn’t unusual for you to wake up squished between Kakyoin and Jotaro or trapped in one of Joseph bear-hugs. But now, you were thousands of kilometres away from the rest of the group, alone in your cold bedroom. There was no one to go to, and no one you could talk about how you felt. It was just you and your painful memories. No one would understand what you’ve been through – how could they? How could you ever explain how intense the 50 days you spent with the crusaders had been?

Another nightmare woke you up, as per usual. You gasped loudly as if you just started to breathe again after a long apnea and quickly sat down in the middle of your bed, holding onto your sheet. You started shaking as your chest moved up and down with rapid movements trying to catch your breath, tears streaming down your face. You were staring at the void in your pitch-dark room, trying to control your sobs and make yourself realise that you were back to reality. You stretched one of your arms to reach the lamp on your bedside table, curling yourself up while you slowly started to calm down. Wiping out the tears from your cheeks with your jumper’s sleeve, you finally dragged yourself out of bed and slowly went to the kitchen, making yourself some tea.

As you sat down to drink your hot beverage hoping it would bring you some comfort, you started to rehearse your dream - as if you could just replay it in your head as one would normally do with songs or movies. It wasn’t very different from any other dreams you had.

Kakyoin’s body was lying lifeless against the roof Dio had thrown him onto, his expression crippled by the excruciating pain he must have felt. An enormous wound had completely swept away part of his body, leaving a big opening in the middle of it. You were screaming at him at the top of your lungs, begging him to spare the last bit of energy he had left in his body. But the ending was the same every damn time; he would use his last breath to reveal to Joseph the secret of The world, Dio’s Stand, and launch his last attack with Emerald Splash. You woke up every time you tried to reach Kakyoin’s body. You were never able to say goodbye to him -  not even in your dreams. The same thing happened with Avdol and Iggy too. You never got the chance to see them one last time, because you were busy fighting elsewhere.

You sighed loudly, stopping yourself from having another breakdown and sipping some tea from your cup. It was in that exact moment, that the phone rang. It was 3:00 AM where you lived, so you expected one of the boys to be on the other end of the telephone. You and the rest of the crusaders exchanged your numbers the last time you saw each other at the airport and had kept in contact ever since. To your surprise, the person you talked the most was Jotaro. You were about the same age and had created a strong bond during your trip, even if you would have never bet on it. Kakyoin used to always joke about your crush on Jotaro, always encouraging you to give it a shot. But things turned out to be too frenetic and dangerous to engage any sort of romantic relationship. Despite that, you would never miss a chance to sit next to each other or just spend most of the time together. The two of you even kissed at one point, but never talked about it again – not even during your strangely long phone calls.

Crawling your feet on the floor of your kitchen, you got up and finally answered the phone: “Hello?”

“Hey.” Jotaro’s deep voice replied. “How come you’re awake? It’s late where you are.” he added.

“You called. Is this a good excuse?” you said lightly laughing, trying to hide the sadness in your voice.

When the sun rose, you were still talking to Jotaro. He asked you about your dream – he knew about your insomnia and your recurring nightmares and just wanted to be there for you. He wasn’t the best at comforting, and most of the time he never dared to say a word; but you knew it was a sensible topic for him too, and the fact that he would let you confide in him was more than enough.

“It’s a big deal for me too.” he said. You just hummed, allowing him to talk freely about what was going on inside his head – and heart. “Sometimes I can barely breathe. I just wish everything was over.” he cut short, clearing his throat immediately after finishing his sentence. Hearing those words from him just broke your heart; he always showed himself as a cold, calm and collected person and never allowed his emotions to have the best of him. He could often come off as an emotionless brute, but you knew it was all a façade that hid a more sensible and soft side of him. A comfortable silence fell between the two of you, only broken by the sound of your breaths. “Don’t hang up.” you said ultimately, letting out a big sigh.

“I won’t. I’m here.” His voice replied, sounding velvet through the telephone.

--

The plane landed after what felt like an eternity, the flight from your country took countless hours to arrive in Japan. At the airport, a member of the Speedwagon foundation was waiting for you, Holly standing next to him. As soon as you got closer to them, Holly quickly fell into your arms, hugging you tightly. ‘I’m so glad you’re here!’ she squeaked, while cupping your cheeks in her hands and showering you with affection. You let out an embarrassed laugh, and after that warm welcome you finally reached the car. You seated in the backseat, tiredly resting your head against the window of your car’s door. You took a quick look at the clock and closed your eyes, trying to get some rest.

When you arrived, Holly gently woke you up. The car was parked in front of the Kujo’s residence, the place where it all started. A fast sequence of memories flashed in front of your eyes as you meticulously watched the house in front of you, remembering exactly how you felt when you arrived the first time, and how you felt when you left. Holly placed and hand on your shoulder and nodded, indicating to you Jotaro’s room. “He wasn’t in a great mood today, he hasn’t been in a while” she said hopelessly. “Just excuse him if he speaks to you rudely.” she added, feeling sorry for the harsh manners her son always displayed. You reassured her smiling, before walking to his room.

Once you stood in front of his door, your heart started beating so loud. A part of you was dying to see the boy you heart belonged to, the other was afraid to see him broken into pieces. But that was the reason why you went there in the first place. You didn’t want to leave him alone anymore. He needed a shoulder to cry on as much as you did – maybe more, if it was possible. You had to be there.

Taking a deep breath, you knocked on the door. Heavy footsteps came your way before the door opened, revealing Jotaro’s figure towering over you.

“(Y/N)? What are you doing he-“ he tried to ask, before getting interrupted by your hug; you almost pushed yourself against his body, making him take a step back to not lose balance. You wrapped your arms around his strong torso, breathing in his perfume and holding him as close as humanly possible to you. Being in his arms felt like being at home – a feeling you hadn’t experienced in a while. It wasn’t long before Jotaro reciprocated your hug, hiding his face into your hair and leaving a soft kiss on your head. He closed the door behind you and just held you in his embrace, enjoying the wonderful feeling of being reunited with you. “You don’t know how much I missed you.” he said, not even trying to let you go. You hinted a small laugh, rubbing his muscled back with your right hand. “I can imagine.”, you replied. He slowly distanced himself from you, placing his hands over your cheeks, staring at you with his eyes full of tears. He was scanning every inch of your face and figure, almost as if he wanted to convince himself that you were real, that you were there. He rested his forehead on yours, locking his gaze on yours, making it impossible to break eye contact. “I don’t want to lose you anymore” you whispered. “You saved my life so many times, in so many ways. I always thought it was the wrong time, I always ran away from my feelings but..” you continued, but before you could finish your sentence, he quickly put his lips on yours – shutting you up with a kiss. You could feel tears running on his face. You grabbed the fabric of his shirt and pulled him closer to you, reciprocating the kiss.

“I have loved you since we were 18.” he whispered.

[pies-writes-and-more]

a broken heart

Word Count: 2,543

Warnings: sad bean vibes today guys, sorry! Breakup angst and jealousy.

Pairing: Tsukishima Kei x Fem!Reader, Bokuto Kōtarō x Fem!Reader

A/N: I have no clue what got into me but we’re writing some sad shit tonight apparently. For all my broken-hearted beans out there, I promise I’ll write some fluff sooner or later! <3 Thank you to @thisnoodlewritesao3 for reading some of this for me and giving me the motivation to keep writing - sorry you’ll probably wake up to these feels (please don’t read if you’re not in a good head space, yall!)

Song inspo: When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars (thank you @haikyuutothetop and @tobi-momo for bringing it up cause I totally forgot to add it 😂)

Haikyuu Masterlist

It was like life was stabbing him every few seconds, reminding him that you were no longer there.

Tsukishima woke up thinking that maybe everything would be okay today, pulled his headphones on while he got ready because he was refusing to be alone with his thoughts. But when his music shuffled, why did the first song to play have to be the song you had deemed your song? Why could he remember the melody so perfectly sung in your voice? The way you looked whenever the song came on on the radio.

He remembered how happy you looked that very first day, how you had dressed yourself up just to hang out with him, and how this song was playing in a playlist he had made you and was the one in the background when he had kissed you for the first time.

The melody made Tsukishima’s lips tingle. He wanted nothing more than to kiss you right now.

Yamaguchi’s half smiles didn’t help either. When he joined Tsukishima on his way to school, he just patted Tsukishima on the back like he normally did and danced around the question, “How are you?”

It’s not like Tsukishima would be honest. He’d just shrug and say, “Fine,” and hope Yamaguchi would fill the silence with some story or something dumb.

He knew Yamaguchi was still friends with you, that the two of you talked. He’d never ask for him to stop because if anything, Tsukishima could find out how you were doing without even asking.

“She’s okay,” Yamaguchi told him with a small smile, as if that was supposed to be comforting. Did he think that’s what Tsukishima wanted to hear? That you were doing okay? That you weren’t waking up in tears every night like he was? Part of him wanted to be happy that you were okay, because he always secretly knew you’d be better off without him. But he wanted to be angry at you, he wanted to blame you for the fact that he cried more in the last few weeks than he had ever before in his life.

Tsukishima just kept his eyes forward, like he didn’t even hear his best friend but Yamaguchi had seen the flicker of sadness in him. He had learned a few weeks into the breakup not to mention your name around Tsukishima, but not because the quiet boy asked him to. It was because every time he heard your name, Yamaguchi would watch as his shoulders tensed, how his fists would clench in annoyance. He missed you, but who would ever catch Tsukishima Kei admitting that?

Yamaguchi would never tell him, but he always wondered that maybe if Tsukishima had admitted his feelings more to you, maybe you’d still be here.

Tsukishima would never say it out loud, but he was already thinking the same thing.

It hadn’t taken long for it to feel like the whole world knew about your breakup. People whispered in the hallways, more than they usually did when Tsukishima’s cold aura came by. Your name fluttered into his ears through gossipy voices and the blond boy just wanted to tell everyone to shut up.

Why did your name have to follow him around? Why did people have to look at him like he had done something so wrong? It’s not like he had broken up with you.

“I just can’t do this anymore, Tsukishima, I’m sorry,” you had whispered to him, shifting uncomfortably in your stance. “It just feels like you don’t even want me around most of the time and I feel like I’m constantly bugging you.”

“I never said you were bugging me, did I?” he huffed. Looking back, Tsukishima wished he could’ve bit down on his tongue and cut the sass in half. You had winced at his bitter tone. It was the look on your face that made him realize you weren’t just being insecure or awkward again. You were genuinely trying to leave.

“I want to be with someone who actually wants me around… and I don’t think that’s how we are…” the words left your lips so easily but Tsukishima knew what you meant. You meant that’s not how he was.

“You’re the one who’s leaving,” Tsukishima spat out angrily, glaring at you as you picked up your things slowly, tears in your eyes. Why wouldn’t you look at him? Why wouldn’t you look him in the eyes and tell him why you were leaving?

But when you finally met his gaze, you were already at the door, glancing back at him with sorrowful eyes. Why did you look like you were mourning something? Had it really been that bad? Being with him? “You’re the one not stopping me,” you had said in a voice barely louder than a whisper. You waited there for a moment, as if proving your point to him as Tsukishima just stood there with his fists clenched.

He wanted to lurch forward and hold you to him, beg you to stay even though he wasn’t sure what words could possibly describe how he was feeling. He didn’t know how to explain why he was always so angry or emotionless with you. He didn’t hate you - how was he supposed to say that? He didn’t want you to go but you were already leaving. How pathetic of him would he be if he begged you to stay? What was the point of begging if you were already choosing to go?

The memory was still fresh in Tsukishima’s mind. He couldn’t help but think about it every moment of the day, even still. Some part of him had hoped you would come back - would show up at his house with tears in your eyes and beg him to show some sort of emotions so you could stay. He would if you had come. But he knew that you probably expected him to do the same.

But even if he did, would you accept it? Would you accept his apology? Or was he considered a lost cause?

Tsukishima’s ears perked up, hearing a familiar melodious laughter as he walked through campus for lunch. His eyes searched around and saw you with your friends, giggles erupting from your lips. He wondered how you were still able to laugh with your friends, how your smile still managed to brighten up the courtyard during your lunch. How were you so happy? How come you had never smiled like that with him?

Before he could stop himself, Tsukishima felt himself walking towards you. He needed to see you up close - needed to make sure that smile was genuine because it couldn’t possibly be right? How were you so okay when he was so not?

“Tsukki!” Yamaguchi’s hand grabbed Tsukishima’s arm before he could cause a scene, pulling him back from his zoned in thoughts. “You’re not gonna want to do that,” Yamaguchi insisted, meeting Tsukishima’s glare head on. “Trust me okay?”

Tsukishima watched him for a moment, his lips pursing into a thin line, “How am I supposed to apologize and get her back if I don’t see her?”

Yamaguchi’s gaze faltered this time and that’s when Tsukishima knew something was going on. Yamaguchi knew something. Something he wasn’t telling his best friend.

“What is it?” Tsukishima asked quietly, pulling his arm from Yamaguchi’s grip.

Yamaguchi started to say something but the most annoying voice you could ever hear was louder.

“Y/N! My angel! I did it! I ran all the way here just like I promised!”

Tsukishima’s eyes widened just slightly as he watched as Bokuto Kōtarō seemed to run over to Tsukishima’s girlfriend no, ex girlfriend.

“He didn’t, he’s just exaggerating,” Akaashi’s voice came next, trailing behind Bokuto with a look on his face that clearly stated he didn’t want to be here.

You were laughing awkwardly, a look in your eyes telling Tsukishima you really hadn’t expected them. So why were they here in the middle of a school day?

Tsukishima scoffed a bit, wanting to turn back and run away, bury his nose into his studies and pretend like it was fine. But it wasn’t fine. Because Bokuto wrapped you up in his arms and whirled you around in a hug that showed everyone nearby exactly how he felt about you.

“B-Boktuo, put me down!” You insisted through giggles, desperately trying to avoid everyone from staring at you but it was far too late.

“I’m just excited to see you,” Bokuto grinned, nodding towards his best friend. “Akaashi is too!”

Akaashi just gave a nod and continued his conversation with one of your friends, as Bokuto patted your head lovingly, “I told you I’d come see you today, didn’t I?”

“You weren’t supposed to skip school for it, you idiot!” You laughed, shaking your head.

“I’ll go back, promise! I just wanted to see you,” Bokuto grinned.

The smile on your face was wider than before and yet Tsukishima still didn’t understand why. How were you still smiling? How were you standing there with everyone assuming that you were dating Bokuto and not dismissing all the quiet rumours that were starting?

Tsukishima finally found it in himself to walk away, Yamaguchi calling after him and following his footsteps. You had left him and replaced him with a top ace. Of course you had. It didn’t matter how much Tsukishima practiced or didn’t practice. He was never going to be better than him, and he was never going to get you back either.

Over the next few weeks, Tsukishima would hear about everything that Bokuto was and did. He saw posts on your Instagram, which he still glanced at every now and then, and even stole Yamaguchi’s phone sometimes to see your Snapchat stories.

You had everything you ever wanted now from the looks of it. Bokuto would come see you every weekend, even if it meant coming right after volleyball practice. He’d crash on your living room couch or on your floor and according to your Twitter, your mom loved him already.

He brought you flowers one time, completely out of the blue, and there it was on your Instagram. Bokuto with a huge smile on his face and holding them out to you. Tsukishima could just imagine the glow in your skin as you accepted them, that shy smile that you had given to him, what felt like a million years ago.

Yamaguchi watched as his friend tortured himself with your social media, glancing at it with eyes said that he didn’t care, but his bad mood was just getting worse every day. Everyone on the volleyball team knew it too, and even the somewhat-empty-headed players like Hinata and Noya didn’t say anything.

“They’re not dating you know,” Yamaguchi spoke up after a while as the two of them walked home. Tsukishima shoved his phone back in his pocket, as if Yamaguchi hadn’t just caught him glancing at his text message history with you to see if you had randomly messaged him. “I think Bokuto just really likes her but she told me she’s not ready.”

Tsukishima wanted to tell him he didn’t care, but those words just twisted in his mouth and he couldn’t even make a sound. He did care. How could he not? He had loved you, even if he was absolute shit at showing you.

“He’ll be good for her,” was all Tsukishima said after a moment, staring out to the distance and trying not to note the surprise on Yamaguchi’s face. He wanted to mean it. He wanted to be happy for you because your smile was all that mattered to him. But... he couldn’t stop from thinking... from wishing... that your smile was at him instead.

As if the gods themselves had decided to torture Tsukishima some more that day, as the two friends turned into Coach’s shop to grab some snacks, there he was standing right in front of them.

Bokuto Kōtarō with his idiotic smile and a handful of snacks and ramen packets that he was plopping onto the counter in front of Coach Ukai, “Just these please!”

Ukai glanced uncomfortably at Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, clearing his throat as he started to check Bokuto’s items out.

Tsukishima’s ears were going pink - of course even the Coach knew. He wanted to leave right then and there, pretend like he hadn’t even come here in the first place.

But before he could turn on his heels, Bokuto caught his eye. The two of them shared an awkward look, Yamaguchi trying to walk towards the back of the store so that Tsukishima could follow him.

“Look man-” Bokuto started stiffly, his chest puffing out just slightly as he tried to come up with the words.

“It’s the wrong kind,” Tsukishima interrupted, a cold glare shooting right into Bokuto’s eyes.

“Sorry?”

“The ramen.” Tsukishima walked over to the nearby stand and pulled out two different flavours, dropping them onto the counter. “Y/N doesn’t like that one. You grabbed the wrong one.”

He should’ve just walked away then and there, avoided any more confrontational conversations but he didn’t. The two of them just stared at each other, Bokuto looking back and forth between Tsukishima and the packets of ramen.

“Boys,” Ukai’s voice was low, as if warning them not to start a scuffle in his shop.

After a moment, Bokuto just gave Tsukishima a smile, patting him on the shoulder, “Thanks.”

Tsukishima still stood there, even as Bokuto paid for his items (minus the ramen packets that you didn’t like) and as Ukai handed him his bag. The Fukurōdani boy gave a small wave to Ukai and started to head out, the tension just starting to lift.

“She likes flowers,” Tsukishima’s voice cut through the air like a knife, words thudding into existence. “She says it makes her feel like someone is thinking of her without an occasion. And she likes to have her hand held in crowds because sometimes she gets nervous around so many people. She’s not going to text you a lot at first because she’s going to think she’s clingy… and that’s my fault. I made her think she was clingy. But she’s not. She just wants to know that you’re thinking of her and that you’re honest with her.” Tsukishima’s fists were clenched so tightly, his nails were starting to sting into his palms, “And she likes to go dancing. It doesn’t really matter where but she likes to dance to music.”

You could’ve heard a fly buzzing around, or a pin dropping against the floor with how quiet it got. Bokuto’s back was still to Tsukishima, tensing slightly the more that he talked but never fully turning around.

“Slow dance with her okay? Because… I never did with her and she always wanted me to. Do everything I didn’t do with her, alright?” Tsukishima’s voice was louder now, as if desperately pleading with Bokuto.

There was another pause in the air and Bokuto only turned his head slightly to just say, “You got it,” before disappearing.

Tsukishima didn’t realize it until after he had gone that there were tears in his eyes. He thought about every time he saw flowers and thought about giving them to you and how stupid he had thought the idea was. He remembered every moment that he didn’t respond back to you right away when he had the chance to, or when he asked you why you sent him so many things on social media. The picture of that sadness growing in your eyes would haunt him for a while.

Worst of all, was all those times you two had sat in the middle of a field, just listening to music and humming to yourselves. How often you had looked around to find no one around and begged him to come dance with you. He had thought it was stupid. How childish, he had thought.

But right now, he’d give anything to slow dance with you.

Guess it’s true, Tsukishima thought to himself as he rushed home, ignoring Yamaguchi calling for him. He wiped his face aggressively, not even caring how crooked his glasses were getting as more tears streamed down his face. You never really realize what you have until you lose it.

haikyuu taglist (let me know if you’d like to join :))

@al0ehas @aurumk @devilkittymusic @thisnoodlewritesao3 @satan-ruler-of-hells @trashy-simp @jeppiet @tobi-momo​ @darkvadeeer​ @haikyuutothetop​ @livy384​ @babyshoyo​ @jesssobs​

[charlies-gillespie]

private relationship | charlie gillespie (part 1)

PART TWO

paring: fem!reader x charlie gillespie

summary: reader and Charlie have been in a very private relationship. none of their fans know that they’re together, until a slip up at a very public event changes everything for the pair

requested: no

length: long

rating: PG (borderline PG-13 tho for some nsfw jokes)

warnings: a dirty joke or two, a few sexual innuendos throughout, drinking

!! MY GIF - give creds if used !!

authors note: “mon amour” means “my love” in french. it’ll probably be used a lot throughout the imagine

another author’s note: would y’all want a part two, but with smut?

MASTERLIST

“Charlie!” you call. Your voice echoes through your apartment. “Can you come here for a second?”

You need help zipping your dress. Charlie was the first to get to your apartment. He’s been waiting for Owen, Madison, Jeremy, Jadah, and Savannah, and Sacha to get here so your group can go to the release party together. It’s a formal event so you had to wear a dress and heels. It wasn’t your first choice, especially the heels part.

Charlie appears in the doorway and says, “Yea- woah.” You see him in your mirror. His eyes are on you. He looks good in his suit that he’s wearing. His jacket and pants are black, his button-up beneath the jacket is white, but he wears a silver tie to compliment the color of your pale pink dress since he can’t match your dress.

A smile forms on your lips and you ask, “Can you come zip up my dress, please?” Charlie nods and walks into your bedroom. You watch him as he slowly zips up your dress.

The dress is a long, baby pink dress with satin fabric. The skirt is a little poofy from the waist down. The top hugs your chest, pushing your breasts up a little bit so they look a little bigger than they actually are. A sparkly silver belt sits on your waist to add some sparkle to the dress. The sleeves are off your shoulders, and there are hidden pockets in the skirt.

Your boyfriend admires you in the mirror. You’re fully dressed now. Your hair is loosely curled and you have a natural makeup look painted on your face. The light color of the dress compliments your tan skin.

“You look stunning, mon amour,” Charlie sighs. “Absolutely stunning.”

You lean your head back a bit, resting it against Charlie’s shoulder. “You clean up very nicely, Charlie,” you say. “I like that you matched me without actually matching me.”

He laughs and says, “I might’ve had Mads and Jadah help me with that little detail. I wanted to match you but it would draw suspicion to us.”

When you and Charlie started dating almost nine months ago, both of you agreed to keep it on the very low. No social media posts unless hanging out in a group setting, no tagging each other in stories if you were alone together, and only going as far as following each other on social media since you’ve worked on the same show together. The fans don’t even know that you’re friends with each other at this point. Only your closest friends that are going with you to the event tonight know that you and Charlie are together.

Kenny Ortega also knows since he’s technically your boss and you’re both co-workers. He also might have found you making out with Charlie after the two of you got carried away when cuddling on Julie’s bed after a few hours of shooting scenes. You couldn’t lie to him after that.

Tonight is a very public event. Pictures will be taken, journalists will be wanting every juicy detail, and fans have been invited to the event so if there’s even a little be of suspicion, it won’t take very long to go public. It’s the release night party for Julie and the Phantoms season two. Everyone’s been invited to watch the first few episodes of the new season.

You feel Charlie kiss your bare shoulder and you giggle softly. “I’m sure everyone will be getting here soon so we should go wait out in the living room,” you tell your boyfriend.

“I wish I was able to touch you tonight,” he says. “It’s your big Netflix debut, Y/N. I wish I was able to hug you and show you how proud I am of you.”

A little sigh leaves your body and you say, “You can hug me. I’m sure a friendly hug won’t hurt, as long as you hug other people too. As for showing me that you’re proud of me, you can do that later when we’re alone.” You send him a playful wink so he gets what you mean.

Charlie’s jaw drops and he blinks at you. “I-you, um,” your boyfriend stammers. “Okay, yeah. I’m going to show you just how proud I am of you later, baby.”

You turn and face Charlie. “I look forward to it, Charlie,” you tell him, leaning up. He smiles and lightly pecks your lips.

Someone knocks on the door and you click out of the room in your silver heels to answer the door. Owen and Jeremy stand at the door. Jer’s wife, Carolynn, stands beside him.

“Hi, Y/N,” Owen greets you. “You look very pretty. I saw Charlie’s car in the parking garage so where is that loser?”

You laugh and say, “Probably still in my bedroom. Go get him. I think I shocked him or something with my words.” Owen pushes past you. Jeremy follows him, leaving you and Carolynn alone.

Carolynn smiles and says, “I love that color on you, Y/N. It suits you.”

“Thank you,” you say, shooting her a little smile. You’ve grown close to Carolynn since she’s married to Jeremy and you’ve spent a lot of time hanging out with the guys in a group.

You let Carolynn walk in before closing the door behind her. Faintly, you hear Owen say, “Bro, what’s going on with you? Your face is red.”

Charlie responds with, “I am so having sex tonight, dude.”

Both you and Carolynn laugh in the living room as Carolynn asks, “I don’t want to know what that’s about, do I?”

As you sit, you say, “Charlie said he wishes he could touch me tonight at the party so he could show me how proud he was of me. I told him he can show me how proud he is of me later when we’re alone.”

Carolynn says, “Ah, okay. That makes sense. Congratulations, by the way. Making your big Netflix debut tonight. How’s it feel?”

“I’m excited, but very nervous,” you admit. “The first season did so well and won so many awards that I’m scared that I’m going to come in and ruin the whole show and that people won’t like my character.”

She says, “You play the nice daughter of the villain of the show. Everyone will probably love you when they realize that your character wants to help the Phantoms instead of siding with Caleb. Don’t tell Jer and the guys but I think you have one of the best songs of the season so I think the fans will definitely love that.”

You smile as there is another knock on the door. Charlie, Owen, and Jeremy come into the living room as you answer the door.

Savannah stands in the doorway with Mads, Sacha, and Jadah. “I had to pick up the kiddos,” Sav says. “Ooh, Y/N. You look beautiful.”

“Thank you,” you say, smiling. “We’re just waiting for the limo to get here. I think we have a half hour or so before it gets here.”

Kenny is sending a limo to your apartment for the nine of you. When you decided to go as a group so you and Charlie could go together, Kenny pitched in and helped like the wonderful human being he is.

Owen decides to go live with Jeremy on his Instagram account for a few minutes. Carolynn talks with Savannah, Sacha, and Jadah while you find yourself talking with Charlie and Madison.

Mads says, “Kenny is giving us the opportunity to sing on stage together tonight. He told me that we can pick whatever song from either season. He thinks the fans would want to hear Perfect Harmony or Stand Tall since those were massive after season one dropped.”

Charlie nods and says, “Stand Tall would be good since all of us can get in on that number. I can talk to Jeremy and Owen about it when they get off live.”

You smile at the two of them and say, “That’s exciting. The fans will be so excited for this little surprise.”

“We can thank Kenny when it goes really well,” Mads says with a laugh. “He’s always got these great ideas. I don’t know how he comes up with them.”

Both you and Charlie laugh as your phone rings. You answer it, speaking to the limo driver. After a moment, you hang up the phone and announce, “Limo is here. Let’s head on out.”

Everyone gets their things together, Owen gets off Instagram live, and you all head down two floors to pile into the limo.

The drive from your apartment to the Laglyan Complex on North Vine Street is close to forty minutes. It was close to six when you left and it’s almost seven when you arrive to the venue for tonight’s event.

There is a red carpet laid out across the front of the building to the door. There is a lot of press here and a lot of cameras flashing. Cheyenne Jackson and Booboo Stewart are together on the carpet. You spot Kenny with one of the assistant directors.

When the press spots the limo, they begin to mumble to each other as they try to figure out who is in the car. Owen and Jeremy get out first. The press begin to snap pictures of the guys. Madison gets out with Jadah. Carolynn, Sacha, and Savannah. Sacha pairs up with Savannah while Mads, Jadah and Carolynn walk the carpet together until Carolynn finds her way to her husband.

Charlie helps you out of the car. The journalists call Charlie’s name as you close the door behind you. “Go,” you order him. “I’ll be okay. You’re the star of the show.” He smiles and sends you a wink since his back is turned toward the cameras. He walks off and your eyes follow him. Cheyenne walks over.

“Look at you, Y/N,” he says. “You look wonderful.”

You smile and say, “Thank you, Cheyenne. You look nice tonight. I love the suit.” He wears a shirt similar to his Julie and the Phantoms character, Caleb Covington. You play his daughter on the show.

Cheyenne holds his arm out for you and you hook your elbow with his. The cameras snap away at you and Cheyenne since the two of you play a father-daughter duo. Booboo comes and joins you and Cheyenne as the ‘Hollywood Ghost Club Crew’, as Booboo dubbed the three of you. The band is getting pictures together. Savannah, Sacha, and Jadah are getting their pictures taken together. Carolynn is getting her pictures done.

The journalists call out questions to the cast. They ask Madi which season was her favorite, which she replies with, “Y’all really going to make me choose? I can’t do that.”

Owen is asked whether or not we’ll get a Willex kiss in the future, which Owen replies with, “We’ll just have to see, won’t we?”

All the journalists laugh. One of them calls out, “Y/N, what was it like joining a show that already had a pretty large fan base and a successful first season?”

“It was nerve wracking at first,” you admit. “But the cast welcomed me with open arms and I’ve made some very, very close friends.” You shoot a smile to the cameras.

A second journalist calls out to everyone, “Are there any secret romances on set that no one knows about?”

Most of the cast, including you and Charlie, laughs. Owen answers with, “Now it wouldn’t be a secret if we told everyone. But no, there aren’t any secret romances. That I know of at least.”

After a few more pictures and questions, we all head inside. The main room as a bunch of tables set up and a little stage with Madi’s piano, Charlie’s guitars, Jeremy’s bass, and Owen’s drums. There are a few fans that were exclusively invited that are scattered around. They start getting excited when they see you walk in with everyone.

You find your table. You’re sitting with Owen, Charlie, Jeremy, Carolynn, Cheyenne, Booboo, and Savannah. This is the “adult” table, you guess. Mads, Jadah, and Sacha sit with Kenny and a few of the younger cast members at another table.

You’re sitting between Charlie and Owen. Someone needs to sit between them or they’ll be at each other all night. That’s your argument if someone is suspicious of you and Charlie.

Suddenly, you feel someone’s fingers lace with yours under the cloth that’s on the table. You glance over at Charlie and he has a little smile on his face as he talks with Jeremy. You turn and say to Owen softly, “Did Charlie really say that he’s having sex tonight?”

Owen laughs a bit and nods. “He thinks he is anyway,” the blond says. “Is he?”

“If he can behave himself then yes,” you say. Owen chuckles.

You feel Charlie squeeze your hand. You know he heard so you smile.

After small conversation with everyone at the table, you get up and get a drink. You walk to the bar, asking for a martini. While you wait, you’re approached by a guy dressed in a nice button-up shirt and dress pants. His hair is in a neat bun behind his head. “Hi,” he says. “I’m Austin.”

“Y/N,” you say.

“I couldn’t notice you came over here alone,” he says.

The bartender gives you your drink and you say, “I just came over to grab a drink. I was going to go back to my table after I grabbed it.”

Austin pulls out his wallet and hands the bartender a twenty dollar bill. “Let me at least pay for it,” he says.

You smile a bit and say, “Thank you. I must be headed back to the table with my friends now. I appreciate the drink, though.”

He blocks your way and you look up at him. “How about a dance in return for the drink?” Austin suggests.

Feeling more and more uncomfortable, you say, “Maybe later. I need to get back to my friends.”

Austin asks, “What’s the rush? It’s not like you have a boyfriend or anything. I follow your social media accounts and you never post a guy.”

You begin to say, “Actually, I-” before Charlie walks up. You let out a soft sigh of relief.

“Everything okay here?” Charlie asks. “You were taking a while to come get a drink so I thought that I’d come check.”

The stranger says, “All good here. I was just offering Y/N a dance here since I paid for her drink.”

Charlie looks down at you and blinks before you say, “I didn’t ask him to pay for it. He took out a twenty and offered.” Austin looks between you and your secret boyfriend.

Then Charlie says, “If you offered yourself then Y/N isn’t obligated to dance with you just because you paid for her drink.”

Austin says, “Well, I’ll just ask again later.” The man walks away and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

Your boyfriend moves and stands in front of you. He asks, “Are you okay?”

You nod and say, “Yeah, thank you. It was just uncomfortable. I didn’t know how to get out of it.”

Charlie reaches up to cup your face in his hands but he stops before he can touch your face. You look up at him before you lean forward, putting your face in Charlie’s hands. Your eyes flutter closed and you smile.

“Y/N,” Charlie says. “People are looking.”

With a sigh, you say, “I just need you to touch me, Charlie. I want you.”

He runs his thumbs over your cheekbones and you can hear pictures being taken. You put your drink on the bar counter and step closer to Charlie.

Your eyes open and you find Charlie looking down at you. He says, “You know what this means for us, right?”

You nod and say, “Our on-the-low relationship isn’t as on the low now. I don’t mind that anymore because I’m tired of guys coming up and trying to flirt with me while I have a boyfriend.”

Charlie chuckles a bit as he says, “I hope that means I can kiss you now. It’s all I’ve wanted to do tonight.”

“Yeah,” you sigh.

With no hesitation, Charlie leans down and crashes his lips to yours. You press your body against his, grabbing his jacket and holding him close to you. You kiss Charlie back just as hard as he kissed you. Your eyes are closed again but you can see flashes behind your eyes. You pull back from the kiss and stare up at Charlie.

Both of you smile at each other as Charlie says, “You better be ready for what happens after this.”

You push Charlie’s hair away form his face and say, “What happens after this is you get on that stage tonight, you kill it, we go back to your place because it’s closer, and you get all the sex you want.”

Charlie’s face turns a little red and he says, “I will never get used to you saying something sexual to me. I hope you know that.”

“You better, Mr. Gillespie,” you tell him. “I’m not the innocent girl that you met a year and a half ago.”

He laughs and says, “Trust me. I know you’re not the innocent girl that I met last year. You’ve proven that several times at this point.”

With a smile on your face, you take Charlie’s hand in yours before grabbing your drink and walking back to the table with your friends. When you get back to the table, you scoot closer to Charlie and rest your head on his shoulder. Owen looks over and says, “Woah, being affectionate in public. This isn’t the best idea.”

You say, “It’s okay, Owen. Everything is okay.”

Owen looks confused as you look up at Charlie. Charlie looks at his best friend and says, “I kissed her. At the the bar when I went to check on her. Cameras saw so that’s going to be a huge thing in the morning.”

Jeremy says, “Well, congratulations on making your relationship public, I guess.”

The table laughs. Owen looks at you, Charlie, Jeremy, and Carolynn before he says, “I need a relationship. I feel so single right now.”

Charlie says, “You’d actually have to talk to people to get a girlfriend, Owen.”

“Haha,” Owen says, sticking his tongue out at Charlie. You laugh.

***

At nine, Madi, Charlie, Owen, and Jeremy all leave to get ready. They decided on Stand Tall for the number they’re going to perform. It’s almost 9:30 when Kenny gets on the mic on stage. “Hello, everyone,” he says. “Today, Netflix released season two of Julie and the Phantoms. To celebrate, I offered our band the chance to perform a song of their choice. So, let’s all welcome Madison Reyes, Charlie Gillespie, Jeremy Shada, and Owen Patrick Joyner to the stage for their performance of whatever song they chose.”

The crowd cheers as everyone walks onto the stage, taking their place. You and Carolynn get a front row seat while you both watch your guys perform. You notice Charlie took off his jacket and his tie. He also cut off the sleeves, but that doesn’t surprise you. The top few buttons of his white button-up are unbuttoned, showing off his chest a bit.

Mads begins to play the first few keys to the song.

Don't blink No, I don't want to miss it One thing, and it’s back to the beginning Cause everything is rushing in fast Keep going on, never look back

You smile and watch Madi sing. She’s insanely talented and you’re so glad that the world was able to hear her voice.

The guys nod their heads to the beat while they wait for their signal to begin playing. Once they get their cues, they begin to play one by one.

Right now, I'm loving every minute Hands down, can't let myself forgеt it, no Cause everything is rushing in fast Keep holding on, nеver look back

Charlie plays like he’s flickering on and off stage like he does on the show. You smile and admire your boyfriend. You know how talented he is, especially those fingers of his, but he never ceases to amaze you how talented he is.

And it’s one, two, three, four times That I'll try for one more night Light a fire in my eyes I'm going out of my mind

You smile wide when Charlie sings his line at the end of the pre-chorus. Then he begins to sing his part of the song and you dance with Carolynn. The crowd sings and dances behind you two.

The four of them finish the song and smile. The crowd cheers and you smile, looking at Charlie. He has the biggest smile on his face, which is covered in a layer of sweat. His hair is damp with sweat too. Charlie bows with his closest friends before putting his guitar on the stand. He jumps off the stage and comes over to you.

“I told you that you’d kill it,” you tell him when he gets to you.

Charlie laughs and says, “Oh, hush.” He pulls you into a soft kiss. You smile and kiss him back, making your relationship with him completely public. The people around you cheer a bit as Charlie pulls away.

You look up at him and say, “You’re going to have so much fun being able to hugs me and kiss me in public now, aren’t you?”

He smiles and stares down at you. Charlie says, “Maybe I’ll be having too much fun now.”

As you brush some of the hair away from Charlie’s eyes, you say, “Please try to keep the PDA to a minimum, Charlie. You do have a lot of younger fans. Save most of it for when we’re alone.”

“Like how we will be tonight?” Charlie asks, eyes hopeful.

You laugh and say, “Just like how we will be tonight.” Then an idea pops into your idea. “This dress is getting really hot. I might need to take it off soon.”

Charlie gets what you’re trying to say so he replies with, “Let’s go.”

He takes your hand and hops over the barricade. You smile as he leads you through the crowd of people. Charlie calls you an Uber so you can both go back to his place tonight.