#i am chomping biting barking

[gaytaikawaititi]

[dathen]

To one thing I have made up my mind: if we find out that Mina must be a vampire in the end, then she shall not go into that unknown and terrible land alone. I suppose it is thus that in old times one vampire meant many.

THERE IT IS THERE IT IS THIS IS WHAT HAS BEEN CONSUMING ME FOR MONTHS AAAAHHHHHHH

Jonathan going through all the motions of prayer and judgement day and bla bla while internally planning to walk into hell if Mina can’t enter heaven.

AAHHHHHHGGGHHHHHHGHHHHH

[kazuichikazuichi]

Kazuichi for the Character Bingo

THANK YOU FOR ASKING ME ABOUT HIM AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA literally my favourite character of everything ever he is my special guy he is everything to me

under the cut for a non kaz thing:

yeah, they're my cats, and thank you!! and lola says thank you as well 🐈‍⬛

[biohazard-inevitable]

Fuck normal love languages,

My love language is: bite you hard enough you bleed

[boxloonaer]

i wanna order a thing of stuffed animals so i can just like bite them and stuff but i cant cause theyre out of stock rn and i dont know how much money i have either

very upset rn

[nordarknessdimsthesky]

A linguistic analysis of tumblr hyperbole in the tags

This post expands my previous analysis of hyperbolic reactions to cluster tags by themes. There were too many themes, some of them overlapping, to create a cohesive graph. Instead, I present several overarching themes from a data set of 50 tags observed and documented in various corners of tumblr.

1. Feeling Normal™️

Tags within this cluster profess Normal feelings (read: extreme excitement, enthusiasm, obsession, derangement, etc.).

#mmmmrrrghuhhhhghhh #I'm so normal about it teehee #absolutely not rending my clothing #feeling very normal and not feral at all #i will simply never recover #gif sets sent to personally destroy me #i can't cope #the eyes #i'm a puddle #i am INCONSOLABLE #i am DISTRAUGHT #IM NOT OKKAAAAAAYYYYYY #FEELING TOTALLY ONE HUNDRED PERCENT NORMAL

2. Feralness

The following data points conjure animalistic behavior. There’s a non-zero amount of biting and chewing involved.

#chomping biting barking #biting my arms off #rattling my cage #[incoherent biting noises] #chewing glass #chewing through wood #*shaking the bars of my enclosure* HELLO!!!!!!!! #climbing the walls #biting gnawing chewing #im gonna rip off my front door and eat it

3. Noisy Emotional Outbursts

These tags encompass crying, screaming, yelling, and other loud reactions.

# shaking sobbing crying #SCREAMIIIING BANGING MY HEAD ON THE WALL #*no thoughts only wailing* #i am SOBBING #IM CRYING LIKE A BITCH #*just fucking yelling* #S C R E A M #screeching into a pillow #brb sobbing for 5-7 business years

4. Throwing

All of these tags except the last one involve being thrown instead of throwing things. I, personally, am entertained by the range of places/situations people are throwing themselves into.

#i am going to THROW MYSELF into the SEA #hurl me into the sea #hurl me into the sun #trebuchet me into the sun #hurl me straight at europa #vent me out of an airlock #slam me against a wall #put me in a box and throw me down the stairs #throwing myself into traffic you know? #just defenestrate me already #defenestrate me #absolutely hurl me through plate glass #i'm going to start tossing furniture

5. Bodily Harm

There’s a good deal of overlap with the previous theme. Nearly all of the tags involving throwing would result in varying degrees of bodily harm. Here are the tags outside of the Throwing subgroup.  

#im going to throw upppppp #tearing my hair out #banging my head against the wall #SCREAMIIIING BANGING MY HEAD ON THE WALL #biting my arms off #microwaving myself #crumple me up and microwave me

6. Absurdism

My personal favorite cluster. The imagery conjured and resulting comedic hyperbole is just [chef’s kiss].

#im gonna rip off my front door and eat it #crumple me up and microwave me #put me in a box and throw me down the stairs #defenestrate me #absolutely hurl me through plate glass

7. Keysmashes

These tags center less around meaning and more around style, so they form the last group. A handful of these could fall under Noisy Emotional Outbursts because they represent reaction noises. In my linguistic judgment, keysmashing increases the hyperbole – consider augh versus aughfhghghghhh – the latter reads as prolonged and more intense emotionally.

#aghdjakgsjadhjaka * #hrhrhrhgnnnghhhhh #aughfhghghghhh #mmmmrrrghuhhhhghhh #I'm so normal about it teehee #waughfhghghh #oughhhhghghhh

*one digression in a friend discord server was how people interpret keysmashes in their minds. Some hear the first couple letters and then some sputtering, others hear static. It’s a common joke that you need a minor in linguistics to understand conversations in this friend group. Such is the nature of things when the chaos linguist energy is strong.

[gingerjolover]

due to recent events a vampire themed halloween fic may be necessary .

vampy!jo coming up for the baby!

For the bit(e)! Jo Maskin x fem!reader

Jo insisted they couldn't spend another minute in the sailor's outfit. Despite your reassurance and saying "but you look so cute!" and even adding a tally under the "you rule" section on the whiteboard, Jo was determined to find another costume.

"The party is at 9 tonight," you say incredulously, looking at the digital clock above the stove, reading 1:30 p.m. "Babygirl, it's Halloween weekend in LA, I'm sure I can find something," Jo says cockily, grabbing their keys, smacking a wet kiss on your cheek and a pinch on your ass before walking out the door.

It's quite a few hours since Jo left, you hear the excited barks of your dog, their nails tapping on the tile floor as Jo calls into the house. "Where are you doll?"

"In the kitchen? Why?" you ask, putting the dish you were washing down in the sink.

"Whatever you're doing, close your eyes...safely," Jo calls out, sounding unsure.

You can't help but giggle at your partner's antics. "Okay, they're closed."

You hear shuffling, bags crinkling, and a few thuds as they hit the kitchen table. Without warning, Jo comes up behind you, warm hands sliding across your lower abdomen, settling on your hips before kissing your neck softly, pressing a slow peck to your jaw. "Keep them closed, okay?" Jo asks, kissing your ear quickly.

"Mhm," you nod, leaning back into Jo. Jo pulls away slightly, head leaving your shoulder before it returns a second later. Josette nuzzles their nose up the side of your neck, pecking your shoulder quickly before you feel a chomp, thick plastic pinching your skin.

"Ow! Josie, what the fuck was tha-" you exclaim, turning around to see your partner with fake vampire teeth in their mouth. Jo watches your face go from slightly hurt to shocked to confused, then to unimpressed.

"A vampire? Seriously?" you say, laughing slightly as you lean back against the sink and cross your arms.

Jo furrows their eyebrows, ripping the teeth from the mouth, spit going with it. "Ew," you laugh, wiping their mouth with your thumb.

"What's wrong with vampires?" they ask, eyes wide. You hold in a laugh, Jo looking legitimately offended.

"There's nothign wrong with...don't give me that look," you say squeezing the meat of Jo's cheek. "You were just talking some big game before you left, I thought you'd be something more...unique," you shrug, watching Jo's eyes widen more, pushing your hand away.

"How dare you? I'll have you know I have a unique spin on this," Jo says, stepping closer to you.

"Oh yeah? What is that?"

"I am the vampire, and you... are my vampire bride," Jo says excitedly, running to the bags and grabbing the veil, ripping it out of the packaging, and fixing it on your hair. They take a good look at you before stepping towards you, one arm snaking around your waist, pulling you into them. Your bodies are flush as they hold you, your lower back still against the sink.

"Vampire bride?" you ask, unimpressed. You watch Jo's eyes widen again, their smile growing before they kiss your cheek, face hiding in your neck.

"What's so special about a vampire bri-?" you start to speak, cut off by Jo's mouth, lightly sucking your neck. "What was that baby?" Jo asks. You can feel them smirking against your skin as they kiss and lick the expanse of your neck, one bicep around your waist, their other hand on your cheek, holding your head to give them access to your neck.

"I was um...just saying...there's nothing... special," you are cut off by your own moan, Jo sucking a hickey into your skin. Their teeth sink in, tongue lapping at the small bite mark, your skin already darkening.

"Babe you can't just do that, we are going out tonight," you whine, hand in Jo's hair, trying to pull them out of the crook between your neck and shoulder.

"This is part of the costume, babe, gotta mark you up," Jo moans against you, biting your shoulder before sucking another hickey into your skin.

"What?"

"Oh come on, the vampire is marking their vampire bride, it makes perfect sense!" Jo murmurs, kissing your lips softly, eyes sultry and mischievous.

"You just wanted an excuse to give me hickeys; what are you, 15?"

"I'm sick of putting them where no one can see them," Jo winks, hands sliding down to your ass, one hand gripping a thigh and hiking it up onto their hip. "C'mon, please indulge me... do it for the bit! How funny would it be? I'm wearing these fake ass teeth, but your neck is all bruised..." Jo all but whines softly, kissing up and down your jaw. Jo looks at the clock on the stove, "It's 4:30 now...think of all the accessories I could put on your neck before we need to get dressed if we go to bed right now," they murmur, rubbing you through your jeans.

"I have work on Monday!" you remind Jo, pushing hair out of their eyes.

"I'll be careful," Jo promises with a murmur, eyes shining as they flicker back and forth between yours and your lips.

"Fine," you mutter, rolling your eyes and fighting back a smile.

"Okay take your shirt off," Jo says excitedly, eyes widening again as their fingers reach for the hem. "I was thinking you could wear your white bodysuit... your chest needs some accessories too..."

[colonoscopys]

Barking biting chomping at art thief au but I know you’ve already posted about that one soooo ….arranged marriage au perhaps 👀

hi molly. i will give you whatever you want in the world because you have created some of my favorite fics in the world and i reread like six of them on the regular and i am soooo obsessed with you.

eddie is buck's (ex) boss. they have to get married

Bobby turns out, is an older guy who looks exactly like what Buck is going to look like in 20 years (hopefully. God, hopefully). They’ve got the same shade of blonde hair and soft blue eyes, and there’s a careful sort of ease between them, as Buck rattles off both Eddie and his orders to him.  “Oh, Bobby,” Buck says, like an afterthought at the end. Eddie watches, in slow motion, as he blanks.  “This is my b—” He pauses. “ —iance.” It’s excruciatingly silent for a moment, a terse, everlasting moment, until Eddie slides in with way too much confidence that he doesn’t feel, puts an arm around Buck’s firm, solid waist, and smiles. “Please,” Eddie says dryly, “don’t ask me for my rendition of Single Ladies.”

[imlivinginyourtrashcan]

Gat any juicy ✨aPoCaLyPsE✨ aus??? (Any other are welcome too, I will eat.)

GO ALL OUT, DO IT.

Ahh!!! Ok. I dont personally have any apocalypse aus, HOWEVER!!!! I can make up headcannons for how I see things going in this hypothetical

Now the rules I personally am going to use is Zombieland and Last of Us. Im not doing slow zombie shit thats BORING!!!! Alright, here we go.

Cartman:

The first one to be bit out of the boys

Look, Zombieland rule number one right here

Tbh he thought the person who bit him escaped the looney bin

He didnt care

...until he realized his mom was turned

Fuck

So naturally he goes to Kyles

Got there last tho

Kyle let him in

Look, he may hate Cartman but he felt bad!

The turning process took 3 days after he was bit

Day one was the show of pink eye, eye crust and a slight green tint

Second day he looks worse, eyes look all hazy and he looks grener and more deshevled

Third day; yeah hes turned, foaming at the mouth

Butters went to check on him since hes the medic and it ended with Kyle killing him and Kenny getting bit

Kyle:

Didnt know the apocalypse was happening for a good while

Just knew he wasnt going to school for a while so win win

That was until they were out one day and saw a zombie themselves

Oh yeah theyre OUT!!!

Making a break for the house Kyle had to watch his parents get bit

Picked up Ike and was outie like a belly button!!!

Had to gear up on survivalist stuff

Guns, medical equipment, stuff like that

Somehow became the leader of a small group including himself, Ike, Kenny, Stan, Butters, and Cartman.

They stayed at his house until they discover Tolkien's alive

Now they on their way to his house (which has more space and food)

Either the last to be bitten or a survivor

Very distrusting of new people after the cartman incident

Or just people in general

Checks DAILY for bites

If someone's found with a bite they talk to Kyles PEW PEW

Stan:

Co leader of Kyles little resistance thing

Goes out with him on hunts or killing sprees

Found his house after his sister was turned

Not the first few bit but he def doesnt survive

Its either a self sacrifice thing or something depressing where Kyle and Stan are crying

Kyle has to leave him behind which really sucks :(

But they arent having another Cartman situation.

During the apocalypse his drinking problem gets worse

Several times where the group was thinking of just leaving him cuz hes a liability but Kyles like

"No dude hes my friend >:("

Kept Sparky around to sniff for stuff and as a general alert system

Someone at the door?

BARKBARK BARK

Someones turned?

BARKBARKBARK

Stuff like that

OOOOO Sparkys gonna be SADDD when Stan dies

Or he'll just die with him

Idk

Kenny:

Second to be bit and turned

Before that he was the rations, weapons, drinks, etc guy

Main weapon was a flame thrower

Why? Cuz its cool as hell

Def gives tallahassee from Zombieland in a survival scenario

That man will do CRAZY SHIT

God i LOVE Tallahassee!!!!

Shame Kenny got bit

They basically were like

"Yeah no"

And threw him outside.

Then Kyle and Stan became the new scavengers

Poor Kenny :(

Butters:

Both his parents turned so he was outie like a belly button

Left with more truama than he had

Ended up becomming the group medic

The boys try to do everything to keep him from turning

Their efforts are successful until they make their way to Tolkiens

Then he gets bit by a zombie cuz hes frozen in some kinda fear

Kenny returns and CHOMP

Then the groups like "FUCK" and run away

He did survive for a while so like, good on him

But his ass cant use a weapon for shit

Tweek:

It could go both ways with him

Either he dies really early

Or dies really late

But i do think hes a hermit whos gone crazy in bith scenario

He def things Craig and his friends are dead

Hes survived on eating coffee beans and no sleep

Eventually tho i think he cant take it anymore and runs for the zombie hoarde

A certain someone does save him tho and hes in a camp with a few other people

Still bonkers crazy tho

Man thinks hes in heaven

Talking for hours abt how excited he is to see Craig

Poor dude is nuts

Craig:

The one who saved Tweek

Has a resistance of his own with Dougie, Wendy, Terrance Mephesto, Bebe, Clyde, Damien, Mike and Pip (yes Pip is alive in this au. Fight me)

They have a pretty big camp, too.

Theyve essentially been glamping for half the apocalypse

Staying in the mephesto place for like, the entirety of the apocalypse

Pip informs Craig on Tweeke mental state very often (Pip is the medic and group therapist)

Craig is almost never at the base cuz hes out getting stuff

Makes sure to go out in something the zombies cant bite through too

Just in case

Leaves Stripe in Pip's care, ends up bonding with him too

"Yknow frenchie? You arent that bad"

"Uhm..im not french, but thank you!"

On a mission to find Tricia since they seperated

Least he found Tweek

Main weapon is a sniper rifle. Likes hanging out on rooftops and going zombie hunting that way.

Informs the group on the staus of the people hes seen as Zombies.

"So uh... Stan, Cartman, Kenny, and Butters turned.."

And the whole groupis just like 😨

Clyde:

If you think this man is lasting long you are a FOOL

That man would see something truamtic

Cry

And get eaten by a zombie hoarde

I dont see him contributing much to a group at all

Just staying inside cuz hes a wuss

They had to force him out

And thats when he fucking died

Jimmy:

Staying in Tolkiens house with him

Theyre pretty set on food and water

Will go out with Tolkien if they need to get stuff

Can use crutches as a close combat weapon

Trying to keep the situation light

Joking abt everything to make Tolkien feel better

More than happy to welcome the rest of the boys into their home

Survivor, yes, im biased

Tolkien:

Stayed pretty much unaffected by the apocalypse, lucky fuck

Goes out with Jimmy if they need anything

Became the new leader of the resistance

Kyles now on medic duty

Also a survivor

Makes sure weapons are all good and everything

Very good with the organization aspect of the apocalypse.

House is also very spacious

Overhears mephesto working on a cure so that keeps his morale high

Nichole is also staying with him and Jimmy, but mostly for security.

Girl can kick ass

Hope you enjoyed, anons!

[kragehund-est]

i am biting and chomping and barking. grrrrr

[holywaterzzz]

Biteable: Bosco

hi girlies x

7/10 - rather chewy. decent chomp.

---

2/10 - you'd think shes biteable but no. this bosco is unchompable which is a shame bc she looks scrumptious 😔

---

9/10 - bro how could you NOT chomp her, shes waiting to be chomped! will likely make u work for it though

---

10/10 - very chompable! ginger bosco :)

---

12/10 - omg her??? literally the perfect chew toy bite her now

---

BARK/10 - GRRRR BARK BARK WOOF HISS SNARL

---

AYO/10 - BITCH SHES BITING ME

---

5/10 - not very chewable. extra points for daya tho :)

---

9/10 - ooo this boscos like a blue raspberry/caramel mix, very sweet :)

---

11/10 - fuck everything else this is the only bosco that matters to me i need her in my mouth now getting down n dirty on my knees for a quick chomp a nibble even i am so normal about her i swear-

[bigfootsmom]

hiding an injury, biting, cockwarming 😈

hiding an injury No | rather not | I dunno | I guess | Sure | Yes | FUCK yes | Oh god you don’t even know | RARARARARARARARAR BARKING EATING DRYWALL INSANE FOR IT

biting (not a trope but i am still rating this <3) No | rather not | I dunno | I guess | Sure | Yes | FUCK yes | Oh god you don’t even know | ALSO RARARARARAAR RA BITING AND CHOMPING

cockwarming (also not a trope but still rating it :3) No | rather not | I dunno | I guess | Sure | Yes | FUCK yes | Oh god you don’t even know | NO QUESTION ABOUT IT RARARARARARARARARARAR SO OBSESSED ARARARAAAARRAAAAR

send me a trope and i'll rate it!

[a-dangerous-game]

>:) M!A chomp that arm!

Hah! You really are more bite then bark! Kudos to you! If I could sink my teeth into you to prove myself of the same merit, I would! Though I am having some trouble locating precisely where that came from, little beastie...

[pluvioseprince]

I am but a chair for Ajax<33

WOOF WOOF ARF ARF GRR ARR BARK BARK WOOF am holding your Ajax in my mouth like a chew toy I am biting him with affection<333 I chomp the stinky ginger like he is a carrot nom nom <333

WHAT (thanks tho)

[c0untrym0use]

It's all the same.

word count: [689] characters: [denji, pochita, power, aki, meowy] platonic, hayakawa family ao3 version *account is not spoiler free

The small shack reeks of dust and mildew, the rain thudding against the singular four panel window. Denji stares at the ceiling. Water pools into the corner, long rusting the ladder that rests underneath it. The boy refocuses his attention as the weight on him shifts, Pochita taking a bite of the bread in his hand. He readjusts his position slightly, the pillow under him lumpy and the wooden pallets behind him starting to warp in the damp room.

Denji scratches the soft cheek of the small devil resting on his stomach as he starts to think out loud, "I heard something recently, yeah? Apparently it's normal to eat your sliced bread with jam on it."

Pochita chomps at the bread as Denji accidentally waves it a bit erratically, motioning with his hands absentmindedly, "Normal is just a pipe dream for us, I don't think I'll ever pay off this debt before I die. And I'll prolly never get a date, no girl would ever want to come here and I don't got the money for one."

Pochita gently whines as he nudges a small paw into Denji's face. He's not paying attention to the dog-like devil past gently embracing it in his arms, "I'm too hungry to sleep but... I know what I'll dream about. I'll buy us some jam. Some butter. We can spread it on some bread and share it as we always do."

Denji didn't notice his grip strengthening on Pochita, "I'll... Flirt with a girl. Take her back to our room, but it's better than this, yeah?"

Tears dripped down his face, the devil pulled into his chest, "And... And we'll play some video games, right in our room. I'll fall asleep in her arms, with you right by-"

Denji's speech stops dead in its tracks, was Pochita always this soft-bodied? He got his answer as he hesitated to look down.

In his arms, Pochita's form melted onto his, like candle wax. The deformed chainsaw devil lets out a warbled woof, his face disappearing by the second...

Bang.

Denji panics, awakening to the sharp banging of the door slamming into the door stopper - and right back into Power's foot who he was assuming did it.

Her abrasive voice rings out loud and clear, "You're lucky today, human! You should be grateful! I, Power, have done all the grocery shopping myself! And in a show of strength I have carried them all inside, for I am the stro-"

He interrupts her monologue, "Meowy just ran outside."

The blood fiend in front of him clumsily sets the paper bags she is holding onto the entrance floor as she runs outside to retrieve her cat.

Denji, now realizing how hungry he is, as he finally notices the aroma emanating from the kitchen. Aki is cooking breakfast. He gently pats the floor by him, finding Pochita.

The small devil gently and sleepily opens his eyes, yawning and giving a stretch before padding into the kitchen. He decides to join him, his joints popping. He fell asleep watching a sports game with Pochita, right. That was just a bad dream.

Sitting at the dining table, Aki places a plate in front of him. Toast with jam. Eggs. Bacon. Hashbrowns. The breakfast was one that was more Denji could have ever wished for while living in the shack.

He looks down to where Aki places a plate on the floor for Pochita, who lets out a happy bark. Toast with jam, and an egg, over easy.

The loud thud from the living room tells him that Power has returned, and tripped over the own groceries she left in front of the door.

Denji lets out a small smile at the thought, looking over to Aki who was returning to the kitchen to finish breakfast, voice still groggy and rough from sleep, "Thanks."

The house was warm, and the three of them were okay. Denji felt selfish asking for this much out of their lives, and the fact he would ask for more eventually, but every single negative thought dissipated at he bit into his favorite classic food —

toast and jam.

[yarnshoes]

Hhnghhhh shuumatsu no valkyrie updates around the 25th i honestly feel like🤕🤕🤕ramblez in ze cut.

Honestly the current match (hades vs qin) is p meh 2 me like ok fine cocky emperor vs cocky emperor or whatever the only thing i rly enjoy in this arc is the usual extremely well choreographed and beautifully drawn fights + qins slutty SLUTTY design. But the ones i cant wait for r simo häyhä (💕💕💕💕💕💕), probably leonidas if they somehow make him even more chad, and tyke souji okita. Fr tho why is he a child. ANYWAY my point is i cant wait until we move on w the story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is the first ever time ive ever truly enjoyed a manga w genuine excitement. The hype is insane.