#i am genuinely curious when it comes to their alcohol loving culture though

[isekyaaa]

Inazuma and Sumeru have such huge problems, Liyue is dealing with their loss of a god, and then there's Mondstadt whose biggest social problem is alcoholism.

[fairytsuk1]

my heart weeps for you. (a)

pairing: izuku midoriya x reader

genre: angst

warning: graphic descriptions of injuries, character death

words: 3.1k

summary: please find me in my next life so I can properly tell you that I love you!

a/n: this is a long emotional one, please enjoy it :)

 Midoriya used to think that he'd only ever felt genuine sorrow in his life the day his mentor, father, and a love of his passed away.

 "I'm so proud of you, Young Midoriya...I suppose you aren't so young anymore, are you?" his hand rested atop his poofy hair, Toshinori could almost see him when he was much younger. When his embraces still had the familiar teenage gentleness behind them, he'd grown up so much, "I am proud of you. To know that you are my successor is the greatest gift you could have ever given me." 

 Midoriya had watched Toshinori take his final breaths after he proudly exhaled those three long-lasting words. He didn't cry then. Only when he was lost in the coldness of his bedsheets did his heart weep from anguish as though he had lost a part of himself. He hated the sky and the way it shone so brightly because he would never get to see All Might look up at it once more before smiling. 

 The world looked at the number one hero as a symbol of peace and that he was! He saved the day as Deku with a small pin of his former mentor near his breast, a constant reminder that he was always with him. Grief lasted what felt like forever, but every day things grew just a bit easier. Only, his biggest regret was that Toshinori Yagi had never gotten to meet you. He would have loved you. It seemed that people who had changed Izuku's life could never coexist. It was if life was trying to tell him something. 

 In the end, it's just you.

 The next time he felt genuine sorrow was on a day bright like the one before. Though the pain wasn't because of how alone he felt or how much he missed those who had passed...No, he felt the wave of sorrow overtake him the moment you'd died in his arms. Unlike last time, he wept. His heart cried out for you even when he chose not to think about it. It wept his entire life, for he was never able to find the same type of love ever again.

 "Deku! It's me, Signal, I'm sorry I'm late! The train was packed! This lady asked for help retrieving her cat, and I just couldn't say no in my hero get-up! But I am truly honored to be your sidekick. I will do my best for our newfound team!"

 You were young and bright and so colorful. Your hero outfit was a pure white and gave you this sense of innocence, but the red rings gave you a bold and courageous aura. You looked more like an angel rather than a hero. He didn't prefer the traditional cliches when it came to romance, but he couldn't help but feel shocked when suddenly things seemed brighter around him. You made things seem brighter.

"Huh?! It's no trouble at all! Really, don't worry about it! That was great for you to do, you're gonna have everyone's vote in the popularity poll if you keep it up. Ready for patrol?"

 You reached into your bag and grabbed a clunky helmet with a black shaded screen, it covered your face. Midoriya felt a frown tug his lips before scolding himself. Why are you frowning at her costume? You haven't known her well enough to be upset by how she looks! Later, he would grin in happy remembrance when he had gone to visit your grave. He hadn't frowned because he thought you were ugly, he'd frowned because he thought you were beautiful.

 You talked a lot, mostly about the latest things in pop-culture and anything to do with animals. You seemed to be really into music and saving stray dogs. You also tended to ramble about the mundane things in life like blue-spotted pigeons or plump old ladies offering homemade churros. You also ate with your helmet on, and it made you look pretty silly. He couldn't stop himself from grinning every time you turned your whole body to talk to him. You never knew what he was smiling at. 

 "Okay, watch this!" he watched you intently while sitting on the park bench, he didn't want to ask what exactly he was supposed to be seeing and had no idea if there was supposed to be anything at all.

"Um-haha! I don't see anything--"

 Neon pink. A blushing emoticon with small letters appearing under it. 

 "Signal loves Deku!"

 It was like he could hear Mina's words saying that when he blushed, he looked like a firetruck. He was sure he looked like a million firetrucks right then.

 "It's true! I'm a big fan and I've always dreamed of being near you! It's like a confession towards your senpai! Have you ever seen those types of anime? It's usually done better in the manga, but I like the romantic connotations either way. Pretty cool, right? During a stressful mission, I thought it might be better to display messages so people would know it's okay while I'm still kicking ass! Also-" 

 He laughed so sweetly that it felt like drinking honey and milk. He'd never heard of displaying messages like that, it was different! But it was a good type of different, a uniqueness that made you stand out. It was weird how he had only briefly met you once under the cherry blossom trees when it felt like he'd known you forever. He had only first seen you in your third-year school sports festival at his Alma Mater, but it felt like he'd been with you before. Your energy felt so familiar, and you felt so warm. He chalked it up to your infectious bubbly personality, but he had no idea how deep your energy truly ran.

 His sidekick Signal gave him a rush he had never felt before. You were sweet, but your quirk was terrific and incredibly powerful, you could sense civilians and give out concentrated waves of vibrations to either alert heroes or ward off villains. The two of you worked like a well-oiled machine because when he punched? You rescued. When you signaled? He arrived. When you both started? You both finished. 

 "Hey, Deku? Did you know that I love spicy pork ramen?"

"Is this your way of telling me we should get ramen?"

 "...No."

"Let's go then! I'll pay since I  am  the older one, of course," he grinned back at you, "let's get going short-stuff!"

 "I'm average!! We've been over this before you bozo!"

 It wasn't a date, it was just dinner after work. No biggie. Midoriya didn't need to fix his hair when he walked past the department stores' glass, and he didn't need to nervously look away from your eyes when you spoke with such intensity. 

 "Am I too young for you?"

 His beer sputtered out from his lips like a faucet; quickly, he began to mumble apologies as the brown liquid was wiped away from the table and his chin, "young?! What do you mean too young?!"

 "It's just as I said! I'm only nineteen and you' re-gosh-like twenty-five? No, twenty-six! Am I too young for you?"

"Hey!! I'm only twenty-three! I'm not some old geezer or a pervert or something!! ... You're just fine but...dating looks problematic, so we should just avoid it. Especially for your future career because of power dynamics and stuff."

 "Dating? I was talking about being a sidekick."

"W-What?!"

 You tossed your head back and barked out a laugh as you blatantly made fun of him, "I'm just messing with you! I meant what I said. If it's so problematic, then please wait for me!"

 It had only been six months since he'd met you under a bright blue sky with one wispy cloud floating in it. It had been only a year since he first saw you on his tablet with the most radiant smile on your face even though you'd lost to your opponent.

 It had only been six months since he had properly gotten to know you, and it was at this moment he could confidently tell himself that he loved you. Even with that clunky helmet.

"Okay, I'll wait for you. But you better not make me wait too long! Who knows what'll happen?"

 He wished he wouldn't have jinxed it.

 Red was a fantastic color on you and you knew it. It was merely coincidental that it matched his tie and the two of you looked like a couple. The whispers and comments weren't malicious, they were just curious. Who was Deku toting on his arm? Why did they look so compatible? At first, your curious eyes wandered all over the Pro-Hero Praise Party. (It has an official name, but after hearing your joyful excitement of being able to attend a "Praise Party," it just stuck.). You took it all in before glancing back at him with an open mouth of awe.

 "So, are the snacks any good?"

 Of course you were amazed. After shrugging in response to your question, Midoriya watched you quickly run off to chat with some of the girls, Uravity and Froppy. You were weird if he was going to be honest, you had this childlike excitement that followed you wherever you went but at the same time...you had a presence. It was commanding, demanding, and it called everyone to pay attention to you. You shone so brightly that it stuck to people's hearts like superglue; walking away almost made his vision go blurry because oh my god, please don't let that force be taken away from me.  

 You always came running back though. When things began to get a bit more intense with flirtatious comments or lots of alcohol, you were always there to seek comfort. With your exuberant nature came his calming one. You two fit together like two peas in a pod.

 "Izuku? I have to tell you something."

"Yeah?"

 "I...I had a good time! Thank you for bringing me as your plus one to the party!"

 He raised a brow in confusion as the two of you stood outside your apartment complex.

"Oh! I had a good time too! We should go to more, it's fun with you," was that coming on a bit too strong? Is that  creepy ?! "I--"

 Soft lips on his cheek, you had to go up a step because he was just that much taller than you. The gloss made it a bit sticky but you pulled away with a heart-shaped smile.

 "Pervert! You're blushing!"

"You're the weird one! Didn't your parents ever teach you not to fool around with older people??"

 "Psh, don't pull the 'I'm your senior' schtick!! I heard enough about it from Mr. Ground Zero!..."

 He smiled and stepped down, letting a hand squeeze your shoulder. He didn't want to make you uncomfortable with too much affection.

 "Well...Big day tomorrow, I'm going to jump right into bed!"

"Got it! Me too! See you later, and thank you. F-For the kiss."

 You grinned, your teeth nearly blinding him as you squeezed his hand before turning to go into the complex. 

 "Also, that hand move was a little weird. Just hug me next time! There!" You stuck your tongue out and hummed, "romantic advice from someone younger than you! Suck it!"

 That night, he lay in bed, wishing you were there with him. You two could lie together or watch movies or do anything, really. He just wanted to be close to you. He liked being close to you. 

 You lie curled up on your side, eyes wide as the heat from your previous action coursed through your veins. Hands lightly rubbed the frilly fabric of the pillow before you squeezed your eyelids shut. Oh, how much you wished the warmth was his and not the space heater near your bed.

 SEND DISPATCH OUT! DEKU AND SIGNAL ARE UNRESPONSIVE! NO WORD FROM INSIDE THE BUILDING, WE NEED SOMEONE TO LIFT THE PILLARS! 

 Dust and crumbled roof fell onto Midoriya's face as he coughed and took in a deep inhale, the fall must've been bad considering the next cough brought up blood. Broken ribs? For sure, he'd broken enough bones to know that the affected area had been his ribs. He was just lucky enough that his hero costume provided enough support to keep him from having anything  too  serious. Well, he supposed broken bones were still pretty serious...his mind's wandering. Focus on the task at hand.

"Signal? Are you there?" Silence. He wheezed and moved away from the dust waterfall. It was a small area and...he could see the white of your costume easily! Hey! "Y/N! Oh, why didn't you say anything…"

 The words died in his throat. Red had pooled around you and a pillar lie where your midsection would be. Your helmet had cracked, and the screen was glitching between various emoticon faces. You lie still and stiff with your hair in your face. 

 "Izuku?..."

"Don't speak! Don't do anything! I'm gonna get this pillar off of you, and then I'm going to get you some help. Can you say okay?"

 "Kay...It doesn't hurt too bad…"

 He didn't respond as he leaped over the pillar to see the damage that had been done and how easily he could lift the object. He felt like vomiting when his feet landed on the bone in your ankle. It should've hurt badly with his steel-toed shoes and all, but you made no noise. He glanced back in concern before crouching down and examining your leg.

 "You're taking so long, I'm tired…"

"...Can you...can you move your leg?"

"What do you mean? They were crushed, can't feel 'em at all."

 If he pulled on your leg, the muscle and tendons would be exposed like red string and yarn. The blood would pool out of your thigh and further stain the concrete. The pillar that came crashing down had caught you on the way down, severing your spine when it hit the ground. If he lifted this pillar, your guts would spill out, and you would bleed out, and you'd be  dead  and holy fuck there's so much blood--

 You sniffled, you had figured it out too.

 "I can't feel them, Izuku, please, where are my legs?!"

"They're...Well…"

 "It's fucking, oh my god, they're not there. Izuku, am I going to die!? I can get surgery, right? I'll be fine!" You breathed heavily and began to squirm around, "I can still be a hero! I-I'm still a sidekick! It's fine, right?!"

"Please stop moving…" The chip in his ear buzzed loudly though all he could feel and hear was static. He felt paralyzed, what could he do? His favorite girl lies in two pieces because a building happened to collapse, "I'm coming back over there."

 You'd begun to cry in earnest, fat tears rolled down your cheeks as your arms beat down on the pillar.

 "Stop! I'm fine! Deku! Just pull this fucking thing off of me! I'm  fine !" You screamed out in fear, "Please!"

 He knelt down and cradled your head with his arms, he smelled like sweat and the rainforest. He felt his eyes well, he was hardly able to blink the tears back. Your voice wavered as you asked the dreaded question. It was much softer this time.

 "Will I die?"

  How do you tell someone they will die no matter what happens? The silence hung poignant in the air as the distant sound of sirens blared as background noise.

"I'm so sorry! It's my fault! I should've grabbed you when I had the chance!"

 "Shut up. Don't think like that. Don't say something like that!! How could it be your fault when a villain attacked this building? It wasn't you, was it?"

 Your arm reached up to his face and cupped his cheek, your eyes memorizing every green swirl and every eyelash. There was no time to ponder on what to say, the sirens grew closer. You didn't have time to think about how scary death was or what would come when it was all over. The pillar was going to be lifted soon, and then you'd be gone.

 "I'm sorry, Izuku. To leave you this way... I'm so sorry," the words felt like arrows in his heart. So final and spoken so softly. Like you'd already made up your mind, how could you make up your mind in a time like this?!

"You're not gonna leave; if I activate my quirk, I can race you to the medics in thirty seconds, maybe twenty. That's our plan, okay? And then I can--"

 "I love you."

"Stop it! Stop saying things like you're ready to go! You aren't! I'm not! Just stop!"

 "I love you."

"Please, I'm not ready...Please keep living with me, I just want to be with you!" He clenched his fist as tears freely fell onto your cheeks, mixing with your own, "This won't be your last time saying this, I promise! Just let me…" 

 You smiled, no teeth this time. Just your lips curving upwards.

"Don't leave me…"

 "I love you!" It was merely a whisper this time.

 The rock near them was blown away, surely by someone's quirk. But all he could see was your smile and your kind but sorrowful eyes.

 "I'm sorry I made you wait so long. I love you, Izuku."

 The lump in his throat ached as he smiled and took your hand off his cheek, interlacing the fingers together. The other free hand came to push the hair out of your face. Would he say it?

 He stared down at the red and white headstone, custom made. It even had your aura with the bright flowers adorning the soft patch of grass in front of it. He knelt down, leaving red and white roses. He supposed red should be an awful color, having seen you drenched in it in your final moments. But whenever he thought of red, he just remembered those rings that made you look so bright. That dress that made you look so beautiful. The lips that often smiled at him. The love you two had shared.

"I'm sorry I couldn't say it then. But I hope you knew that I loved you too."

 It was another day of bright blue skies with fluffy clouds and warm wind. He guessed that All Might would have been enjoying a nice cup of tea while he reminisced. As for you, he assumed you'd be out there saving cats and dogs while accepting churros from strangers.

 It was one of the many bright blue-skied days, but one of the first without you.

[thatringboy]

All of my other TWST HCs

Because my Twisted Wonderland Headcanons have been my most popular posts, here I am giving the mob what they want! An almost complete list of Headcanons I have about every character and house!

This is by far my longest post and it took me three days to type, so I hope you guys get a laugh out of it!

WARNING: THESE ARE MY PERSONAL OPINIONS ABOUT EACH CHARACTER. IF YOU DON’T AGREE WITH ONE, PLEASE DON’T ATTACK ME OR OTHERS WHO SUPPORT MY HCS. JUST DON’T BE A DICK.

Heartslabyul

The word “Queen” is gender neutral

Frequently allows students from other houses to study with them

Recently expanded into two buildings dedicated just for dorms to house all of the students

Actually lots of words are gender neutral

Riddle

Does rebellious things with Trey sometimes

Actually struggled with gender for a while because of his mother and responds to all pronouns (he/she/they), but identifies as male

Sometimes uses the label “Androgynous Male”

Is attracted to Trey, but he can’t tell if it’s because of his childhood or because he genuinely likes his Vice DH

Has Tea Time TM with Vil

Abolished gender roles in NRC despite it being an all guys school

During Summer Vacation he wears jean shorts and mint green tank tops with red flip flops

Has a pet crab that is red and named “Queen” despite Riddle not knowing Queen’s gender

Queen is the mascot for Heartslabyul despite being a sea creature

We stan Queen the Crab in this house.

Trey

Enjoys breaking the rules with Riddle, even if it’s not very often

He dyed his hair green as a joke with Cater during his first year, but decided to keep it 

Has fallen for Riddle. Hard.

But between his dignity, his position and him not knowing if Riddle likes men, he won’t say anything that could ruin the friendship

Rook found out by accident and actually helps Trey try to work up the courage to ask Riddle out, but Trey always backs down

Invented a type of Tea that soaks clover leaves and it tastes like vanilla mixed with mint

Cater

#SELFIE

Not really a drama queen, but will egg on fights for views

Sometimes his clones will develop different accents and that’s how you tell them apart

Has a pansexual flag in his room

Spends more time partying in Scarabia than in Heartslabyul

Is close friends with Kalim and actually crushed on him for a bit, but got over it once he noticed the way he looks at Jamil

Actually gives good relationship advice

Deuce

Was Bi-Curious during his Pre-NRC days and actually tried to put it behind him like everything else

However, like, everyone at NRC is some flavor of gay

So he gave up on his internalized homophobia and now lives his full authentic life!

Still uses the labels Bi-Curious and Questioning and often goes to Cater for advice

But his buddies love and support him no matter what

Is a huge feminist

Cater fully believes that Deuce likes Ace, but he actually doesn’t

Deuce admits when men are attractive, no matter if it makes them uncomfortable or not

Didn’t go over well with Jack

But the two are cool now

Ace

Probably one of the straightest guys you’ll ever meet besides Rook

Actually learned what the different teas smell like so that he never messed up again

Enjoys his fights with Grim, even if Grim is a little shit

Like seriously Grim is a little flying rat shit turd fuck but that’s just my opinion

Almost never learns from his mistakes and always pays the price

Chaotic Good.

Loves going on adventures with the Prefect and Grim!

Has never gone back to the Mostro Lounge without Jack or the Prefect

Also got really into Mermaid culture and regularly goes back to the Atlantica Memorial Museum to talk with that one guard

Has memorized the script from the Little Mermaid

Can sing You Pour, Unfortunate Soul in a perfect baritone vibrato despite his high voice

Also takes singing lessons from Azul, but only if someone else is in the room with them

Savanaclaw

Throws pool parties regularly

Octavinelle is almost always invited

Magift between the two houses is insane

Leona

Raging Bisexual, need I say more?

Goes to great lengths to find loopholes and just be lazy

Also goes to great lengths to help Ruggie

Hates his brother, but loves Cheka and his sister-in-law

Can’t properly digest seafood, but eats in in front of Azul and the Leech twins just to be a bitch

Is kinda clingy

Even if he doesn’t want to, he goes to all of the Savanaclaw vs Octavinelle vs Pomfiore karaoke battles

Can’t sing for shit, but likes to watch Ruggie and Jack duet and destroy everyone

Constantly reminds Malleus about the time they swapped robes

Actually swaps clothing with Malleus quite often on purpose to see how they feel

Ruggie

A good singer

But kinda self conscious about it??

Also a Raging Bisexual

Play flirts a lot with Leona, even though they don’t like one another like that

Is FtM Transgender, fully transitioned, and wears his scarf to cover the fact that he doesn’t have much chest hair and his scars

Only Leona and Crowley know

Gets a little dysphoria because his voice is still so high and because he’s shorter than everyone in Savanaclaw, but takes one look at Riddle, Lila and Ace and forgets about it

Jack suspects, but the two make a killer duo during karaoke!

Jack

Is straight, but won’t get in your face about it

Actually learned how to become a fast swimmer just to flex on Jade and Floyd

Has memorized almost all of Heartslabyul’s rules just because he didn’t want to be disrespectful

Arm wrestles with Floyd often

Helps out in the Mostro Lounge pretty often when he’s bored

His karaoke skills are out of this world!

Also has memorized the layout for Ramshackle Dorm just so he wouldn’t get lost in there

Tsundere? Maybe.....

Knows something’s different about Ruggie, but can’t figure it out

Respects privacy like crazy

Just a cool guy to be around

Octavinelle

Hosts the karaoke battles

Now pays their employees in the Mostro Lounge

Gives free singing lessons

Azul

Choir Gay TM

Aromantic Homosexual

Constantly has Boss Bitch by Doja Cat in his head

Actually has shit handwriting and it made his Golden Contracts all the much more powerful

His handwriting is beautiful underwater, though

When he’s feeling lazy, Azul transforms into his Merman form and uses his 8 extra arms to do things for him

Has a single picture from his childhood that he has not edited (or tried to edit)

It’s of him, Jade and Floyd graduating Junior High

All three of them are linking arms and smiling brightly

It sits on his nightstand in a golden frame

Gives most of the singing lessons

But doesn’t participate in the karaoke battles

“I’ll join if Leona joins.”

Petty about the karaoke

Jade

Once swapped clothing styles with Floyd for an entire day and was just chaotic towards everyone

Does this more often now just to relieve stress

Only the Prefect could ever tell them apart

Not even Azul knew they had swapped

Is Pansexual and liked Azul during Junior High, but got over it once they started at NRC

Can scare someone so badly that they tell the truth regardless of Jade using his magic

50 students were asked who they’d rather have to fight, 42 of them said “Floyd all the way! No way am I fighting Jade!”

Was actually popular in Junior High, but turned down opportunities to be more popular to spend time with Floyd and Azul

Can cuss in 8 languages

Floyd

When he swapped clothing with Jade, he actually enjoyed being calm and responsible

Loves to do things like that for Jade

Raging Homosexual, need I say more?

His Bakugou impression is on point

There are several videos of him just standing at the end of a dark hallway laughing and whispering “Die, Deku!”

Also really likes Volleyball despite being on the Basketball team

Takes Bean Day a lot farther than it needs to be

Flirts with Riddle a lot, knowing it upsets Trey

But doesn’t know that Trey actually likes Riddle

Has sea related nicknames for everyone

Scarabia

Everyone has to help take care of Snake

Monthly competitions where Kalim hands out free vacations

The competitions involve taking care of Snake

Who is Snake? You’ll see.

Kalim

When he learned what Pansexual was, he went around Scarabia clapping pans together to come out

Cater was the one who explained it to him

Loves to party and flirt with Jamil, but can be serious if needed

Sometimes holds group therapy for his dorm residents

But also PARTY 24/7 IF IT HAS ALCOHOL WE CHUGGIN’ TONIGHT!

PARTY ROCKERS IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT

Named his magic carpet “Jamil Jr.”

Flexes on Azul with Jamil Jr.

Is open about his attraction to Jamil, but also respects Jamil’s personal space

He and Lila sneak out at night to mess with people

Jamil

Has a pet snake that he never named

Just calls the snake “Snake”.

When Jamil’s busy, other residents take turns taking care of Snake

There is an entire chore chart and half of the chores involve Snake

Snake isn’t even the dorm mascot, he’s just Jamil’s pet

Tsundere TM

The only reason he doesn’t accept Kalim’s professions of love is because of his family obligations to serve the Al-Asim family

Takes family and traditions very seriously

Internalized homophobia? Maybe....

Petty as well

Has poured sand into people’s shoes and hidden scorpions in beds

Pomfiore

Usually wins the karaoke battles

Unless Ruggie + Jack join

Make up tips

Vil

I’ve said most of my HCs about him

But I’ll retype them

Wine Mom TM

Musical Theatre Gay TM

Tea Time TM

Fashion Police TM

NRC James Charles

But also respective of people’s sexualities

Has poured water into people’s makeup

Has attempted to give Rook a make over, but Rook is more acrobatic then he looks

Has never actually sung in public

Likes to keep people guessing over his singing voice

Has a cherry apple tree in the school garden that he spends time every day taking care of

Runs NRC’s GSA

Rook

Heterosexual TM

Wears Doc Martens sandals with beige cargo shorts and white polo shirts when not in uniform

Can be seen back-flipping away in this outfit while Vil chases him around the dorm

Is allergic to strawberries

Epel’s bodyguard

Throws rotten fruit at people and calls it a prank

His bangs were by accident

But decided to keep them

Pretends to hunt, but can’t shoot for shit

However does go on fishing trips

Has to have some Heterosexual Hobbies TM

Epel

Is an actual Prince

Like owns land

Everyone in the dorm protects him

Is actually like Honey Senpai

Will put you in your place.

Like fr is a top.

Despite being so small

I don’t know what his sexuality would be

Probably Bisexual

Can lower is voice a lot if needed

Ignihyde

There’s magic inside of the dorm that turns all fire blue, but the fire turns back to normal once outside the dorm

Doesn’t apply to Ortho’s hair, though

Has the most LGBT residents - even more than Pomfiore surprisingly

Actually, not surprising - have you seen Disney’s Hades????

Iida

Cat-sits for Professer Trein

Everyone believes he can set his hair on fire, but he actually can’t

His hair is naturally that fire-y color

Loves to prank people, but never in person

Social Anxiety? Personified.

Before he rebuilt Ortho, Iida had a robot he controlled from his room that went to class for him

The robot was named “Meg”

Now he just uses his screens

Owns a crop top that has a cat face on it that Ortho made for him

Actually wears it a lot, but nobody ever sees below his shoulders on his screens

Oh yeah, also constantly questioning his sexuality

Currently likes guys, but that might just be because he goes to an all-guys school

Ortho

Has tons of cat plushies in his room despite not needing to sleep

Also has a mini library in his room, but he memorized all of the books

Burns things with his hair

Also sews a lot

Spills tea about the dorm residents with Trey, Jamil and Lilia

Has a couple pictures from before he became a robot, but doesn’t remember taking them

Has a bulletin board where he hangs pictures of his friends and family

Actually takes photography classes from Cater

Doesn’t focus on sexuality, so he just goes with “Queer”

People assume he’s scared of water because of his fire hair, but he loves playing in pools

Once cosplayed as Alphonse Elric and Iida was Edward from FML

Has pictures of that as well

Diasomnia

Basically one big family

Even more-so than other dorms like Ignihyde

Has a vault of hard liquor that has been sitting there for centuries

Malleus

Responds to Tsunotaro

Smuggles hard liquor into Scarabia despite not being a drinker

Has a YouTube account where he visits old buildings

Floyd ruined his Ramshackle Dorm video by standing at the end of a hallway and laughing

Can turn into a Dragon

His horns aren’t sensitive

Lilia once hung Christmas lights from them and Malleus didn’t notice for the entire day

Sometimes Lilia jumps and pulls on Malleus’ horns when he’s being dumb

Polysexual, but leans towards men

When he looks surprised by something - he genuinely is surprised, not faking it for someone else

Doesn’t believe in hiding emotions

Is actually like 300 years old, but was frozen for a good amount of it

Also immortal and is stuck at being physically 18

Damn Fairy magic

Oh and he didn’t mind wearing Leona’s ceremonial robes that one time

They were comfy

Enjoys swapping clothes with Leona a lot

Also had a crown made of thorns that is uncomfortable to wear

He burned it, but hasn’t told anyone yet

Takes the term “mom friend” to another level

Just ask Silver

Lilia

Only calls Malleus “old man” to be a prick

Is like 500 years old

Has gone through high school many times

Can undo stitches in people’s clothing without them knowing until their clothing falls apart

Asexual Homoromantic

“Who needs sex when you can be a bitch?” - Lilia Vanrouge, 2020

Is Malleus’ royal advisor

Spills tea like crazy

Has catfished people

Is the cool dad

Sebek

Is a Malleus fanboy???

He named his horse Draco

I don’t have many Headcanons about Sebek actually

Probably drinks tea with Riddle sometimes

Oh and definitely a bottom

Is he Bi? Poly? Pan? No one knows

But he’s a power bottom

Silver

Doesn’t have a last name because he was raised by Lilia and Malleus

Is indebted to Malleus because of this

and Lilia too, but like I said, Lilia is the cool dad

(he is actually indebted to Malleus in canon, but idk if it’s for this reason or not)

just let him have two platonically gay dads that go to school with him

Once in a Diasomnia/Savanaclaw sleepover, he and Leona passed out on each other’s shoulders while Ruggie and Lilia took photos

The photos haven’t been seen in a while, but are still around somewhere

Actually has several photos of him falling asleep with his head in Lilia’s lap

His bed stretches across his entire wall, forming a bench almost

Owns a suit of armor

It has a sword

He can use the sword if needed

Can he just get a nap????

Because of his relationship with Malleus, seeing fireflies calms him down

Is this guy wholesome? Yes.

Is he a Bisexual top? Also yes.

Can’t make everything wholesome

Holy fuck my fingers hate me. If you managed to read this far, I hope you enjoyed my headcanons for Twisted Wonderland students and houses! I don’t know enough about the teachers to make headcanons for each them, but I do have one for the staff:

Sam and Dire Crowley

Married

This is the only reason Sam runs the school store

Sam is not qualified for anything else

But Dire loves him too much to fire him

Forget the wholesomeness between the Dorm heads and their Vices

This is the most wholesome pair

Okay seriously - I need to stop making these headcanons it’s midnight at my house. I’ve spent probably close to 13 hours (give or take with a lot of breaks) writing these down and doing research on characters just so that my headcanons don’t seem completely out of the blue. Also, don’t be afraid to post your own headcanons, even if canon doesn’t always support them. That’s the thing about fictional characters - they’re open to interpretation!

And now to the long list of tags....

[loveafterthefact]

Love After the Fact Chapter 56: Sex Education Part 1

In which Thace is medically certified to run a sex ed program and Keith is an unwilling pupil with a splash of Galran societal norms and pressures

Warning: Discussions of sex, but like, from a health perspective

First  Previous  Next

“Mnh?” Keith’s eyes flutter open, heart sinking at the empty space beside him. Straining his ears, he can’t hear his chosen mate. He’s alone. It’s an awful feeling, sudden, sharp. Before he even realizes it, he’s chirping, calling for Lance to come back.

Startled by the intensity of his reaction, Keith cliches his jaw, keening softly in his throat. He doesn’t want anyone thinking he’s in trouble. He feels like he's in trouble; he knows he's not. Curling tight into a ball, a purr starts thrumming deep in his throat, his body's attempt to soothe his distress.

“Keith?” A mercifully familiar scent reaches Keith’s nose. “Was that you, kitten?”

“Momma?” Hunkered down in the bed, Keith peeks his head from beneath the blankets. He’s behaving like a very young kit, he knows, but he can’t help it. He feels lost, alone, abandoned.

“Hey, kitten.” Krolia sinks down on the bed, running a hand over the top of his head. She’s wearing a shirt and pants instead of armor, accentuating her slight frame. Keith looks so much like his mother. He doesn't mind. “Lance asked me to come check on you. Said you had a hard night.”

He had had a hard night. He woke up twice with growing pains, an indication that he’s actually starting to grow. Still, there’s only one thing on his mind right now. “Where’s Lance?”

“The compound. Allura called for him. Something happened this morning; we don’t know what.”

“Is she okay?”

“All I know is that she spent the night with Romelle, then sequestered herself to her own room, asking for her brother.”

“I hope she’s alright.” Keith closes his eyes, allows his mother to continue petting his head. “Momma?”

“Yes, kitten?”

“What- What’s happening to me?” Krolia’s presence isn’t helping soothe his distress.

“If I had to guess?” She shifts her kit’s head into her lap, doing the best a mother can do. “You’re bonding to Lance. I know you haven’t mated, but you’re very close to maturity, and your attachment to him is strong.”

Keith gulps, detecting the edge in his mother’s voice. “Please don’t be mad.”

“No, kitten. I’m not mad. But you’re my baby, and the idea of you having no other choice than this hurts me.” A sigh. “Accepting any less than the best for you is hard.”

“I do have a choice. Lance has given me every choice he possibly can.” Keith knows his mother’s doubts. “I chose him because- because he cares. He cared about me before he even knew me. And he cares for our people and wants to learn more about them. You don’t even know him, Mom. Please give him a chance.”

“Alright, kitten. For you, I’ll give him a chance.” Krolia goes easily, not wanting to cause her kit any undue distress. He’s experiencing more than most thanks to his abnormal childhood and growth, and a barb of guilt creeps ever deeper into her chest. “We should take you back to Thace. I want to make sure your bonding process isn’t due to any developmental problems. Besides, you need an exam anyway. It’ll just be a bit earlier than usual.”

“Okay.”

At the clinic, Thace is only just getting his materials together to start the day. “Oh, hey guys. How are we doing this morning?”

“I’d like you to give him an examination,” Krolia murmurs. “His development appears abnormal.”

Thace frowns, normally cheerful face creasing with worry. “Abnormal? How so?”

“He-”

“I seem to be bonding to Lance,” Keith grits out, displeased at everyone making fuss and speaking for him. He really needs to learn how to advocate for himself. “Which would be totally fine, were I anyone else except myself.”

“No, it wouldn’t be,” Thace argues, scurrying around to gather a few supplies, wash his hands. “You’re at an extremely delicate point in your growth. Anyone experiencing early bonding should at least be interviewed, and anyone with a growth disorder should be examined. It might indicate abnormal physical or hormonal development.” He turns back to Krolia. “You are still his parent. How many chirps before I release him?”

“Twice, and you’re done. More than that, and I’ll-”

“Whatever you’re about to do, I’ll be fine. Advisor Krolia will go and inform Crown Prince Lancel of where I am.” Keith draws himself up, poised and formal. Pulling the prince card isn't something he enjoys, but it's the only thing that might possibly help him wriggle out from under his mother's coddling thumb. He loves her, looks up to her, but her coddling is damaging to his image.

He hates that he even has to think of such a thing.

The two both nod, even though his mother’s eyes narrow. He’ll take it. Only one person is allowed to coddle him, and he’s not here right now. Krolia heads off reluctantly, leaving Keith alone with Thace.

“What are you going to do?”

“Scans, blood, and then a visual and manual examination.”

“Examination of what?” Keith can guess, but he wants confirmation.

“Your genitalia. This examination is to assess your reproductive health.”

“... This is going to su-u-u-u-ck.”

“Yes, but it is important. For anyone, not just a prince.” Thace guides him into a dimly lit room with another scanner. There’s a reclined chair in the middle with footrests at the bottom and a spotlight above. Totally not ominous at all. “Before I was offered the emergency medic position here, I specialized in sexual health, with an emphasis on final growth development.

“If so many are going to push themselves to the limits of their reproductive capabilities, I might as well make sure there’s someone competent to look after them. For you, for our futures and the futures of our children, it would be an honor to make sure you are healthy and well.”

Thace helps him into the chair, types settings into a panel on the scanner. This one has an arm that hangs down, instead of rising from the floor. Keith bites his lip, staring at a probe on the counter. “But do you have to-”

“In your case, yes. Premature bonding isn’t rare exactly, but we still want to make sure there’s no underlying cause. It could just be that you really are that fond of Lance, or you could be having some kind of hormonal or anatomical complication.”

Awesome.

“Will it hurt?”

“I’ll have to stimulate certain nerves, so it will cause discomfort-” The scanner hums, the curved arm spinning around Keith. “That discomfort will be fleeting, and the very last part of the exam. After that, you’ll be all done… I will not harm you, Keith, nor do anything to damage you.”

Keith nods, trusting Thace to mean it. He’s a kind, gentle soul, one held in fond regard by all who meet him. Plus, Thace is a bearer with a mate and kits. This won’t be enjoyable for him either.

“How can you do this?” Keith asks, genuinely curious to know as he watches his friend clean a patch of skin at the crook of his elbow and tie a thick elastic band around his arm. He winces at the snap. “How do you conquer your instincts so you can touch me?”

“It was something I struggled with, to be sure, but having a defined purpose helps.” Thace pulls out a needle with a thin tube attached, and a few vials. “I'm one of fifteen siblings. When I was growing up, my parents taught me that it was my duty to find a mate and have as many kits as possible, starting with my first season. And that’s what I knew. It was fact. An incontrovertible truth. That was how I could serve the empire: ten years of service, and a kit every season until my body gave out.”

“So when I went to school to be a medic, and I learned how much strain our culture puts on bearers, and sires to a lesser extent, I was… horrified. Frightened. I didn’t want to waste away, or be left with no quality of life. I wanted my life. I wanted to have something for myself. I realized that, because I too am a person, I deserve the same as anyone else, regardless of my sex.”

Keith stares at the blood pouring into the vial. He can empathize with Thace. He feels the same pressure, has felt it ever since Shiro brought him to the mountain, felt it more and more since moving to Altea. It keeps him up at night, weighs heavy on his thoughts. The burden of other peoples’ expectations.

What if he can’t bear enough kits? Will Lance be disappointed in him? Will he still want him? Alteans don’t necessarily mate for life. He's well on his way to belonging to Lance forever. What if Lance can't give him the same? He sighs, stares at his blood pooling in another vial.

“I chose to deviate from my original plans. I left my chosen mate right before my first season, deciding she was too forceful and domineering given what I wanted for myself. I spent that first season alone at a friend’s den. Ulaz’ den, actually. He was unmated, but I trusted him to keep me safe, since I wasn’t his. He looked after me while I recovered my strength, and… I ended up staying.”

Thace removes the last vial and needle, rubs Keith’s skin with alcohol, wraps some gauze around his arm. He places the vials into a machine, typing in a series of commands. “I made the decision to study reproductive and sexual health. I wanted to do whatever I could to keep people healthy, even if they were putting so much strain on their bodies. Later, when Ulaz was stationed here as part of the Imperial guard, I elected to come with him. I put my life’s work on pause so our family could stay together and so we could complete our required service concurrently. When our service is completed, he will likely stay with the Blades, and I will go back to my work.

“While your tests are being done, we can do the rest. Then we’ll talk about the results… Prince Lancel should be here for that part. It will pertain to him as well.” The medic slips his hands under Keith’s shirt, prodding at his soft tissue. The younger Galra winces, discovering sensitivity he hadn’t realized he had.

“How?”

“Because he has absolutely no fucking clue what he’s doing, like most sires… Now, a common issue seen in Galra with growth disorders is that their mammaries don’t develop. I’m seeing that here. You've clearly got some sensitivity, but I'm not feeling anything as well-developed as I would expect... It’s not surprising, or concerning, but you won’t be able to nurse.”

“Oh.” Keith’s ears wilt. “Okay.”

“I know it’s disappointing for you, but from my perspective, it’s a good thing.” Thace smiles. “Your body does not have the resources to fully complete your final growth spurt. That’s just the facts. So what your body is doing instead is allocating resources where they’re needed most. It’s prioritizing child-bearing over nursing. That’s actually what I want to see in your case.”

“It’s not like Galra milk would be enough for my kits anyway. They’ll need formula to get the proper nutrition.” Hybrids nearly always do.

“They almost certainly will, since your biology and Lance’s are so very different. Your rather unsettling attendant has already tasked me with coming up with a few suggestions for formulas that might be suitable... Can you remove your pants, please?”

Keith removes his pants, reluctant and anxious, but knowing that this is something every kit endures during their final growth spurt. Thace gently nudges his knees apart, makes a soothing noise in the back of his throat as every muscle in Keith’s body instantly tenses.

“If I bite you-”

“I’m asking you to defy the basic instincts of our species. If you bite me, I’ll take no offense. I wouldn’t even call it even.”

For that, Keith clenches his jaw, muscles jittering beneath his skin, claws digging into the arms of the chair. He knows he doesn’t want to hurt Thace, even if his body wants it very, very badly. The medic touches him with a probe three times, once slipping inside, deftly reaching clusters of nerves Keith's always known he had, but never had use for. The probe vibrates, only for a tick, but it’s enough to have him yelping, hissing, ears pinned tight against his head. It hurts, has him baring his teeth at his friend.

“That’s it. We’re done.” Thace pulls a thin blanket over him, rubs his ear. “I’m so sorry, little one.”

Closing his legs, Keith hisses at the adult Galra again, painfully aware that he’s still not quite grown. Said adult Galra only persists in his ministrations, working at that ear until Keith’s settled. “I know, I know. I suck. I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t say you were sticking that thing inside me,” Keith grumbles.

“Would you still be sitting there if I had?” Thace raises an eyebrow at Keith’s scowl. “That’s why we don’t say it. Be lucky I didn’t have to check your prostate.”

“Not comforting, dude.” Keith snuggles under the blanket. “It’s gonna make it weird when we come over for dinner.”

“Only if you make it weird. For me, this is just work.”

"What do people normally say when they find out that you look at sex organs for a living?"

"Well, they never say thank you, that's for fucking sure. Ingrates." Thace goes back to the blood testing machine, scans the results. “Yes, I definitely need to speak to both of you. But while we wait for Prince Lancel to get here, there are some things we can talk about just us… Have you experienced any arousal? Erection? Vaginal secretions?”

“Not… exactly.” Keith shifts in the chair, remembering that kiss in the rain. “Maybe… a little?”

“What did you feel?”

“Like a tingle? Or maybe an ache?”

“Vaginal?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. So that’s also good. What that means is that your body is priming itself for the bearer role. Since your mate is male, we would expect the female parts of your reproductive system to respond automatically. If both, or your male parts responded, it might cause some concern.”

“This is… so much.”

“Yes, it is. You are a very complicated person, Keith. Inside and out.”

Keith nods, preoccupied. Teasing the end of his braid, he finds the courage to ask, “Why do you need to speak to Lance? Is something wrong?”

“No, not at all. But from your test results, I can tell that you are in the process of bonding, which is premature. There’s nothing wrong with your bloodwork or your scans, so I’m not worried, but it’s time to have those uncomfortable conversations.”

“This is already an ‘uncomfortable conversation’,” Keith bites, feeling a little petty. Okay, maybe more than a little. But he's more than earned it, so there.

“We need to have a serious discussion with him, make sure he understands all of this from a medical perspective.” Thace makes a few notes on a datapad. “So since you are priming for female reproductive behaviors, you may need to stimulate yourself manually if you wish to achieve an erection. You should be able to, and perform like any other male should you wish to. I’d like you to attempt that before leaving Daibazaal, even if not during coitus.”

“Seriously?” Keith rolls his eyes. That's just unnecessary.

“Seriously. To completion. Reproduction is complex, yours more so than most. It’s important to make sure everything is functioning properly. Besides, Lance might like it.”

“This is the worst conversation I’ve ever had. I just want you to know that.” Stupid Thace and his progressive attitude toward sex talks.

“Yes, I imagine it is. But important for your body and mind. And it’s important for Lance to learn, too, since he is already instrumental to your health and well-being.”

"I hate that you're right."

"That poor boy is in so far over his head. Wait until you have to explain gender identity to him."

"He needs to explain gender identity to me! Alteans are so. weird. You have no idea!" Keith curls up in the chair. "Apparently there's this thing where 'normal' people are either female women or male men, and then anyone who doesn't adhere to that is 'abnormal'."

Thace frowns, utterly baffled. "That's so... primitive. What's the correlation?"

"Not sure. Apparently, on Altea, there is one."

The adult Galra shakes his head. "His brain is going to short-circuit. Oh! I forgot to tell you!" Thace's face breaks into a grin. "My oldest, Mashan? A girl!"

"Hey, that's great!" Keith shares his friend's excitement. It's always a joy when a kit determines their gender.

"Yeah... Gods, I'm so proud of her. Fuck, Keith, before long, I'm gonna be chasing people away from her!"

"That's what you get for making cute kits. What's the phrase? Reap what you plant?"

"Reap what you sow. And that's so unfair, blaming me for passing on my hotness to my kits."

"They certainly don't get it from Ulaz."

Thace gasps, ready to rise to Keith's playful tease, when Lance arrives. He looks tired and sad. Eyes red, scales dull, pale-faced... It seems they're both having a difficult morning. Krolia stands just behind him, face studiously passive.

The Altean surveys the scene before him, eyes travelling about the room, lingering on Keith's pants rumpled on the floor.

"What, the fuck, is going on in here?"

It's going to be a long morning.

[claire-de-macarune]

Get ready kids because somebody called for all the Hayley Kiyoko asks

sleepover: have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them? if it was in the past, do you wish that you told them?

Ugghhhh yea. I’ve told some and not others. The current one is rough because she’s straight (?) and we talked about her boy problems and i just wanted her to be happy, so i worked some fairy gaymother magic and now they’re dating which is… yeah.

I just kinda sucked it up and made a playlist into which i deposit all my sad gay pining. It’s about three hours long and Sleepover is the first track.

curious: do you drink? what’s your favourite drink? what drink isn’t your thing?

I am a connoisseur of fine juices. ;)

I’m a big smoothie girl, so a mango smoothie bubble tea is probably my fave. I like sodas or bitter things, for the most part. I’m a wine mom type and definitely think that it will be my alcohol go-to once I’m of age,

girls like girls: what’s your sexuality? how did you discover it? or have you just always known?

I’m a lesbean. :)

My first crush was Daphne from Scooby-Doo (i’ve given you that information, now use it wisely. by which i mean, don’t use it. please god.), so that was a landmark. I kind of always subconsciously know, but growing up I didn’t actually know what being LGBT+ was because my parents never made a big deal about it. We have straight friends, we have gay friends, so I wasn’t aware that sexuality and discourse around it was even a thing until I was around twelve. 

feelings: how do you think others perceive you? how do you perceive yourself? 

People find me intimidating because I’m confident, intentional, verbose, and organized. That’s how I like it.

I alternate between between our class emotional support animal and class cryptid, and it’s the most fun thing ever. I am both mom and monster muahahaha

gravel to tempo: have you come out to anyone? if yes, who was the first person you told? if no, do you want to? who would you tell first?

I don’t actually remember first coming out to anyone in particular. There was one time when my group of friends (3 other girls) and i were having a sleepover and they were all like, “we’re bi” and i was like “what’s that” and they were like “we like girls too” and i was like “cool. i mean, personally i think boys suck and look like potatoes carved by a toddler and when i entertain the notion of kissing or marrying one i would literally rather eat sandpaper for the rest of my life, but cool” and they were like “how are you so comfortable with this? a lesbian GOD!” and i just went with it.

(for the record, it wasn’t a trendy thing and they were really scared and all felt really gross about it bc their religious families taught them that being gay was wrong and didn’t talk about bisexuality at all so i went out and did some research and came back and assured them that everything they were feelign was valid and okay and we were really safe spaces for each other in that shitty middle school time when everything is just awful. nothing but love and respect for my first priestesses and bi babes!)

pretty girl: who was the most recent crush you had? do you still like them? did you tell them/do you want to tell them?

(see sleepover. this song is also on the playlist.)

what i need: who are your favourite gay artists? what are your favourite gay songs?

Well, Hayley Kiyoko (obviously), Janelle Monae, and King Princess are the big ones. I’m always open to hearing more! Honorable mentions to “Know Your Name” by Mary Lambert, “Crimson and Clover” by Joan Jett, and the soundtrack of Fun Home (even though it’s got some problematic things with predatory gays) because I cry every time I listen to it, especially on “Changing My Major”, “Days and Days and Days”, and fuckin “Telephone Wire” (“Come to the Fun Home” is a whole bop. Only gay in that I, a certified gay, enjoy it.)

ease my mind: what makes you feel at peace? what is your perfect future like? what do you do at the end of a long day to unwind?

Reading, writing (in theory lol), drawing, and singing relax me (dance too, but I’m not allowed to do it anymore cuz I’m broken). I also recently started teaching myself the guitar.

I don’t really have a set perfect future, but honestly, I’d take one in which we avoid nuclear winter, world war III, and climate change. The more I think about growing up, the more skeptical I become about whether I’ll actually get to do it and that’s insanely scary.

let it be: who was your worst heartbreak? have you ever been in love? do you even believe in love?

TW: suicide

One of my best friends (⅓ of my nervous bi darlings) ended her life almost two years ago. So that fuckin’ messed me up.

I don’t know. Usually, I’d say I think I’m kind of young to really even know how, but that’s not quite true. I guess I’ll say that I have loved but I haven’t yet been in love. Theoretically speaking, there’s so much of my life ahead of me that the probability of having that experience so early, especially with a limited romantic pool (being a queer poc in the south), is low.

And I’ve just recently fallen in love with myself, thus heightening my standards. I’ve been awful about getting into relationships in the past because i was afraid of saying no and hurting that person’s feelings, but lately i value my own happiness above the appeasement of others to my detriment. I just feel like I’m still learning and getting comfortable in that space, and the opportunity hasn’t really presented itself yet. But i think that it’s possible, someday. I’m a hopeful hopeless romantic.

cliff’s edge: what’s on your bucket list? where would like to travel? what makes your heart race?

I want to try everything at least once. I want to learn how to be the truest, most fully-realized version of myself I can. I don’t have a set list of life, I just hope it will be some kind of spectacular.

I want to see the world. Everywhere. But beyond that, I want to be a part of it. I want to be a true global citizen, experience a life past myself every day. I dream of having the freedom to continuously explore and grow in hopes of doing some good, internally or externally, along the way.

he’ll never love you: were you ever in denial about your sexuality? were you ever in denial of a crush? do you like to talk about your crushes to your friends?

Not denial, per se, I just didn’t know what was going on. It was a pretty straightforward, comfortable call once I had the information I needed.

I’m able to employ logic in most situations and strip myself of an unwanted crush using that, but most i’m aware of and suffer in silence.

Yesss. I’m bad at making those kinds of decisions by myself and having people who genuinely care ask me questions or even just talk to me about it helps me process. Often, this results in being teased about said crush, but I don’t mind.

wanna be missed: how dependent or independent are you in a relationship? do you like a lot of space, or a lot of intimacy? how do you feel about electronic (vs face to face) communication?

Ummm, I kinda tend to lead, just because that’s what I’m accustomed to. It’s a role I fill because everyone else avoids it in the other arenas of my life, so I’ve mostly been independent and directing in my relationships. This last one actually threw me for a loop because the dynamic was flipped; they were so sweet and thoughtful and proactive in romancing me i didn’t really know what to do with myself. I’ve gotten over the initial shock (now, what, 5? 6 months later?) and found that I liked that too.

I like a healthy balance of distance and closeness. Fun fact: my love languages are quality time and physical touch, so when i’m with someone i pretty much just want to cuddle with them all the time. I don’t know, it really depends on the person and the relationship and whatever is going on with me individually.

I’m cool with digital communication, but i’m also a granny when it comes to technology so I can have a little trouble with more nuanced text/social media culture. Also, my phone is always on silent (not even vibrate, because i’m wacky like that) so if you want an immediate answer, face-to-face is better. Also the physical touch thing, also that way i can read expressions better.

Bonus: i can also hold your hand and kiss your cute face!

under the blue/take me in: are you happy where you are right now? if you could change one thing about your life, what would it be? what’s your favourite aspect of yourself?

I mean, I’d rather not be in constant debilitating pain, I (apparently) have some tangling with anxiety i need to do, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. I’m a lot better than I have been, and I’m grateful for that. I don’t know if true happiness is a consistent, determinable state, but I take what I can get.

I don’t think there’s one big thing I would change. It’s more like a handful of small things. But if I had to choose, I’d fix whatever is wrong with my spine/neck/whatever. I feel like I’m on the cusp of my life finally beginning and I’m trapped by something as trivial as my body. It’s exhausting and I really need it to be over. It feels selfish, but I could do the most good for myself and others if I could put this behind me.

Favorite aspect of myself? That’s like asking me to pick a favorite book! Or child! Impossible: that’s a trick question. Sure, she’s a batshit, messy bitch, but I love myself. She and I are in it for the long run. ;)

palace: who is your favourite memory? what’s your favourite story with/about them? why don’t you two speak anymore?

The first girl I ever loved is mostly a memory now. It’s hard to pick a favorite story about her, but our first kiss story is pretty soft and gay, kind of like something out of a fairytale or a tropey fic, so I guess I’ll say that.

We had just finished seventh grade. 

Some background: That April, we went to D.C. for our annual class trip. There were ten of us and only four girls, so we all shared a hotel room (and they were roommates!) We split the beds (we’d all known each other for seven years, it was just like sharing with a sister) and stayed up super late, intermittently playing truth or dare and talking about life. She and I philosophized into the early morning (there was only one bed!!), she told me she liked me, and I fell asleep before I could do anything about it. Apparently, we ended up cuddling, because when I woke up, i was warm because she’d wrapped around me (and drooled down my collarbone, but whatever).

Okay, so, every spring, after graduation, our school had a picnic at the park down by a shallow length of the river where the kids would swim after lunch. We hadn’t done anything about our feelings yet, and I was leaving for another school. She took me around the bend in the river and we swam into the basin there. She wasn’t as strong a swimmer as I was, so she put her arms around my neck, and I held us both up in water deeper than both of us were tall. She said she was going to miss me, and then she kissed me. For a while.

Then, we saw a snake and frantically flailed to shore, laughing until our lungs hurt.

We don’t talk anymore because she became mentally unstable soon after that, and it wasn’t safe for either of us to continue interacting. I’ve seen her a few times since, but I don’t anticipate that we’ll ever be that close again, and that’s okay.

mercy/gatekeeper: what was a difficult time in your life? what did you do/what are you doing to get through it? who has been the most helpful?

&

molecules: have you ever lost anyone close to you? if yes, how did it feel at the time and how does it feel now to talk about them? do you fear death?

TW: suicide

One of my childhood best friends killed herself in the first month of our freshman year. It was totally out of the blue, and the timing was absolutely horrible. I was just getting everything I wanted, I was having the time of my life and then everything just stopped in its tracks. Except it didn’t. The world kept turning and she was gone and I had lab reports due and she was gone and there were play rehearsal and holidays and deadlines and life incessantly barreling forward and she was gone. I woke every morning with a pit in my stomach, I didn’t sleep, I didn’t eat. It was like something had been cut open inside me and life was just pouring out behind me but I couldn’t feel any of it. And no one else around me seemed to care. Every day I felt like I was dying. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t breathe, and everyone else had a smile on their face and laughed like it was nothing and complained about stubbing toes and bad grades and fighting with their parents.

I don’t really know how I got through it. I mean, I went to therapy, but it didn’t really help. I couldn’t talk to people about it, even when I wanted to. I couldn’t cry for the longest time. I wrote about it some. I left her voicemails. I raged through glass recycling. I guess I just trudged on, dragged myself onward because stopping wasn’t an option. Because if I did, even for a moment, I wouldn’t have enough strength to start again.

I’m better now, I guess. I can talk about it and her and I feel mostly human most days, but it’s still a presence in my life I wish I could escape. I still don’t know where they buried her.

I do not fear death.

one bad night: do you like casual or serious relationships? have you ever done anything illegal, wrong, or stupid for the sake of love?

Hoo boy, I’m bad at casual relationships. I get too attached (*feelings plays in the background*), and it becomes serious. Oddly enough, it doesn’t really scare people away. The older I get the further I’ll probably get from playful dalliances, but every once in a while, as the stakes are low, I’m down for just having fun and enjoying someone’s company.

palm dreams: do you like parties or quiet nights in? would you want to/did you stay in your hometown after moving out? what’s your ideal saturday night like?

I am an introverted smol, and big parties make me nervous. I can handle and even enjoy the odd bash here and there, but too many too often wears me out. Smaller groups are better, but my favorite size is a book or maybe one other human.

Nooooooo, man, I am going to college out of state, far away, and I am not moving back here. I love my city dearly, but I need to find my own corner of the sky. :)

I love a night at the theatre, preceded by a quiet dinner with a couple close friends and followed by something sweet, some tea, and reading a good book with my feline.

[drinkmeblog]

8 preguntas para Robert Simonson

Aunque no nos pudimos dar el gusto de entrevistarlo para La Nación, luego de un insistente acoso en persona y por mail, les traemos en exclusiva "8 preguntas a Robert Simonson" (http://robertsimonson.net/) y un bonus track para los bartenders lectores.

¡Van en inglés y en breve las subimos en castellano para todos los que no leen en inglés! Disfruten.

Even though we couldn't talk with him for a @lanacioncom piece, we got an exclusive 8 questions to @robertosimonson (and a bonus track for all you bartenders & readers) for the blog 💕 EN version, ES coming up. Enjoy.

Para los que no tienen idea y cayeron en esta entrada del blog cual paracaidistas, Simonson es una eminencia para los que gustamos de leer sobre coctelería en medios. Escritor de la prestigiosa y siembre bien ponderada sección de bebidas del NYT (¡esas fotos!, ¡esos textos!), pero también columnista regular en revistas de calidad como Punch Magazine, Imbibe, Saveur, GQ y la difunta Lucky Peach, entre otras, aparte de escritor de varios libros (The Old-Fashioned, A Proper Drink y el más reciente 3-Ingredient Cocktails).

1) You wrote about the cocktail renaissance of the last 30 years, however the curve seems to be reversing. Or at least that´s what some are saying, such as the journalist Kevin Alexander and his interesting article from Thrillist (https://www.thrillist.com/drink/nation/craft-cocktails-revolution-whats-next) As in all food & drink trends it would seem that ubiquity ends up being counterproductive. Massification, lack of technique and serious formation (due to the fact that everyone must have a cocktail program in any place nowadays), lack of originality (copycat bars and drinks, business above all) and innovation (everybody doing the same, playing safe), seem to be some of the culprits of the demise of the crafted cocktail. Any thoughts or ideas about it?

I think that what Alexander is saying is that with explosive growth and expansion, the cocktail business has faced challenges. This is true with any cultural or culinary revolution. True, restaurants and bars now feel they must have a decent cocktail program. That’s not a bad thing. It’s also true that they don’t always have the know-how and the skilled staff needed to execute those cocktail programs. They run before they can walk. Furthermore, there are always latecomers who want to jump on the bandwagon and collect some of that cocktail money while its hot. This ends up muddying the waters with sub-level and gimmicky spirits, cocktails and bars. There’s no stopping such efforts. That’s the free market. The genuinely innovative people are always trailed by the greedy and opportunistic. But, for me, the general point is cocktail culture is spreading, not receding.

2) What can be done about some of these negative trends?

As a journalist, I don’t know what I can do to stop bad trends. I can write about them, of course, and voice my disapproval. But that almost never has an impact. People drink what they want to drink, and there’s always someone willing to sell it to them. One thing I have started is to review bars for Punch. Bars are hardly ever seriously reviewed the way restaurants are. Reviews are a good way to appraise and evaluate what cocktail bars are doing, including certain trends.

3) Which are the bars that get you more excited?

Three sorts of bars get me excited. One sort is the cocktail bar that does all the basic, bedrock things well, without a lot of hype or flash. The second is a bar that introduces something completely original. The third is a bar that expresses the personality of its owner, with that owner being on site at all times to steer the ship.

4) How come you have NEVER come to South America? Isn't that a little bit strange given the rage many trends (latino inspiration drinks and alcohols) are having right now in the States?

It is a bit strange, until you consider the expense. I am a journalist, and journalists do not make a lot of money. I pay my own way, wherever I go. On very rare occasions, a publication will send me, but that does not happen often. I do not accept press junkets offered by spirits companies and corporations. I consider such trips to be unethical, professionally speaking. So it takes me a longer time to get to countries and cities that have a strong spirit, cocktail or drinking culture, places that I should visit. I would love to visit Tokyo, Peru, Jerez, Cognac and other important capitols of spirits and drinking, but it will have to wait until I can do it on my own terms.

5) Which things do you take with you from this trip?

I learned two main things in Buenos Aires. One, that the cocktail movement is a lot more advance there than I had expected. And, two, Buenos Aires has a rich cocktail history on which to draw inspiration.

6) Lets talk about conventions. One thing that surprised me was that you wrote on a IG post that you were in favor of hearing first and drinking later. Aren't most of conventions like that? What do you thought of BAC?

No. At most cocktail conventions in the United States, drinks are constantly available from the early morning until late at night, and drinks are served at most seminars, either as educational tools (samples of Scotch, say, at a seminar about single malts), or as refreshments. On occasion, I have asked that drinks not be served at my seminars, because I find them intrusive. They also find them an infantilizing force, as people come to expect them when they go to a cocktail seminar, and either won’t go or won’t be happy if they are not served. But I’ve been told that people expect drinks, and that events won’t be as successful or fun without them. The logic of that makes no sense to me. When you go to a seminar about food or restaurants, are you served an omelette while you listen? And, of course, there’s the inescapable influence of liquor brands. Most seminars are sponsored by a brand, and the brands insist their product be poured at the event. I thought BAC handled this aspect of conventions very well, though, like most conventions, brand money is what makes the engine go. I’d love for somebody to figure out a way to hold a liquor convention without their first call being to Diageo and Pernod Ricard asking for money and product. There has to be another model.

7) There has been some change in the mentality within the industry recently (for example with Jim Meehan’s talk “Rethinking the modern bartender” we started talking about some issues that seemed left behind or were simply taboo). I was wondering how do you see two particular aspects: on one side, the little attention paid to issues such as addictions and mental health in the industry? On the other, the need for evolution of the role of the bartender (being a more well-rounded and complete?

The quick evolution of cocktail industry over the past 15 years has been so exciting for its participants that it was easy for them to forget about the potentially dangerous side effects of spirits and drinking. We’ve had the heady era of discovery and celebration. Now, it’s come time to deal with the repercussions. Alcohol has always been an aspect of adult life that must be approached with caution and responsibility if its to be enjoyed in the long term. There’s been a lot of denial about these issues within the cocktail community. Hopefully, that’s coming to an end and we are on our way to finding a balance.

8) Lastly, we think it’s important that women be included more and more in the industry nowadays. Nonetheless we are curious about what we perceive as a dilemma: a sort of “genre quota” to be filled with female bartenders. Do you feel there’s such a thing? Do we want women to be included because they are female or because they are extraordinary in what they do? How do you see women’s current role?

I don’t know how things are for women bartenders and bar owners in Argentina. I only met a couple while I was there, so perhaps that answers the question. Here in the United States, we have never lacked for talented women cocktail bartenders. But they have rarely been put in charge of bars, or get the opportunity to own bars. That has begun to change, but not quickly enough. There’s an entrenched patriarchy in the cocktail world, just as there is in most lines of work. I have not encountered any instances in the United States where a woman has been given a position in a bar simply because of her gender. There are too many talented women around for that to happen. I do believe in meritocracy. The best qualified people should get the job. But  the idea that there aren’t women out there who have the skill to merit any job is, I believe, a fallacy.

BONUS TRACK

Which basic reading materials do you recommend for bartenders? 

Here’s a brief list: Books: “Imbibe” by David Wondrich, “Regarding Cocktails” by Sasha Petraske, “Potions of the Caribbean” by Jeff Berry, “Vintage Spirits and Forgotten Cocktails” by Ted Haigh, “The Joy of Mixology” by Gary Regan,“Straight Up and on the Rocks” by William Grimes, “A Proper Drink” by Robert Simonson (I know it’s mine, but it’s the only history of its kind, and bartenders should know the history of the cocktail revival).

Magazines: Imbibe

Websites: Punch 

[amandajoyce118]

2020 In Review

I used to end the year with blog posts highlighting 100 things, or 50 things if I wasn’t that ambitious, that I loved about the year. Usually, those things were pop culture things. 2020, however, is a special year, no? I mean, a pandemic, quarantines, political unrest, massive bread lines, natural disasters, refugees seeking better lives, stressful elections, etc. For most people, to make a blanket statement, this year sucked.

Most of the people following me know that I’m a freelance writer, but I have a full time day job as a fresh merchandiser for a food service distributor. That means I never “shut down” or worked from home or any of the other things people have been forced to do. I work a full day pretty much every day with customers who don’t understand why distribution has slowed, why I have “long term outs” of items like cases of hard boiled eggs or fresh ginger, why there are certain days of the week when they just can’t get chicken wings. I have people who refuse to wear masks, employees who forget to disinfect work stations, and a questionnaire I have to fill out before every shift as to whether or not I think I’ve been exposed to covid. And when I’m done there, I escape by writing.

As a result, I haven’t been doing much for fun. Outside of my day job, the media I consume is generally for freelance work, which has made this year really exhausting, no matter how much writing/stories is an escape for me. That’s why, instead of just things I loved this year, I’m going to give you a list of 10 pieces of media I’ve consumed - over and over and over again - that I’ve somehow not gotten sick of when writing listicles about the subjects. I feel like we all need to feel like we’re getting lost in a good story, or with characters we genuinely enjoy, even if, like me, we’re getting lost in those worlds with those characters to be able to write about them.

The Baby-Sitters Club

I was obsessed with the books, the ‘90s show, and the eventual movie as a kid, so it’s no surprise that I was counting down the days until the Netflix adaptation premiered - and I loved it. I’m not going to lie, I’ve watched this show from beginning to end four times this year. It’s such a quick watch and there’s something really great about watching these girls grow up.

Nancy Drew

Again, obsessed with Nancy Drew as a kid. More specifically, obsessed with the ‘80s case files as a kid. I read all of them I could get my hands on. The new television show is a little more Riverdale than the novels are, but it’s an interesting spin on the characters and stories we already know - and the representation of a diverse community on the show is fantastic.

Anne With An E

I’m still holding out hope for a movie to close out this show since there are something like seven books in the original series and the show basically only covered the first one? Where is the justice? But, this is another show I think I’ve watched three times from beginning to end because Anne Shirley Cuthbert is someone you want to be friends with, no matter how old you are. You also want her to come to her senses within about 30 seconds of being introduced to Gilbert Blythe, so you know, it’s a fun and angsty time.

Agents Of SHIELD

One of my favorite Marvel properties ended this year, and… I should probably be more sad about it? Like, I absolutely would have watched more episodes of this show if it had kept going, but I’m also incredibly satisfied with how the show concluded this year, which is rare for me. I’ve gone back and rewatched a handful of episodes for articles, and Agents Of SHIELD feels like a show that I’ll end up rewatching yearly because it’s one of the few shows where I’ve actively engaged in fandom for years and still genuinely love.

Timeless

Yes, I rewatched this gem this year while writing a handful of listicles, and I’m bitter that this didn’t get more seasons. The cast chemistry, the stories of those often overlooked by history, and the twist of a shady organization being closer than you think? It’s pretty perfect. I miss it. It’s a yearly rewatch already.

Pitch Perfect Trilogy

Every so often, I find myself in the mood to hear Anna Kendrick belt out a few songs. Pitch Perfect tends to win out over Into The Woods, and I can’t ever seem to stop at just the first movie. Pitch Perfect is cheesy and not as perfect as its title implies, but it always puts me in a good mood. I want more comedies about a capella groups, please.

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers

If I had to say where my love of serial storytelling, or my ability to engage in fandom, started, it was with Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I had friends who would create their own team of Rangers when I was little, and we’d trade kicks on the playground (which got us in trouble), and yeah, as an adult watching a show made in 1993, this show is ridiculous. Full stop. But it’s also the kind of show that makes you remember that a whole generation was raised on the idea that even if the good guys don’t always win, they keep trying. They never give up. And that’s just as important today as it was then.

Teen Wolf

I recognize that this show is sometimes a mess and that continuity is not always its strong suit. Does that mean I love it any less? Nope. And neither does the rest of the internet since some of my articles still get heavy rotation even though the show has been off the air for years. It’s the kind of show that pulls me in, even when I already know what’s about to happen.

Leverage

Oh, Leverage. How do I possibly explain how excited I am that you’re getting a revival? I don’t think I can. Also, I don’t know why I’m talking to Leverage directly when I haven’t to anything else on this list. Leverage is about a group of criminals who steal from the corrupt to give back to their victims. I mean. It’s Robin Hood for the modern age. It’s a found family. There are love stories. There are redemption arcs. It’s just chock full of greatness. And Aldis Hodge as Alec Hardison.

RWBY

I only really got into RWBY last year, and it’s fast becoming one of my favorite anime, though admittedly, I don’t watch a ton of anime. I love the references to fairy tales, mythology, and history mixed into this crazy fantasy world. I love that the villains are as compelling as the heroes. I love that in such a large cast of characters, I want to know more about everyone. It’s a fascinating show and some of the episodes are only five minutes long. 

Sailor Moon

I grew up in the ‘90s era of television, so, of course, I watched Sailor Moon after school. The English dubs because I’m a heathen, what do you want from me? I’ve really enjoyed revisiting the ‘90s series after watching Sailor Moon Crystal because, obviously, the ‘90s anime is not exactly the story that was told in the manga. It has such a rich mythology and fascinating characters not to mention beautiful designs.

Naruto

I’m going to be honest, you guys. I never thought I would be into Naruto. But something about it just hooks you. I got into it because there were always listicle topics that editors created for the show on the sites I write for, and I was curious. Unlike manga purists, I actually really like the filler episodes. I think they add a lot to understanding the characters. Also, there is no anime character I love more than Shikamaru in Naruto Shippuden.

New Girl

Okay. New Girl has really been the saving grace of 2020. I know this show ended a few years ago. I know that people should be ready for other things. But here’s the truth: I’m not really a sitcom person. I was as a teenager, but as an adult, I like my serial storytelling to be completely unrealistic and dramatic, usually. But 2020 has been so heavy that I needed the lightness New Girl provides. 

And I love each and every resident of the loft - even the ones I would never be able to stand hanging out with in real life. I love how much they all grow up over the course of the show. I love the one-liners. I love the running jokes. I love the musical numbers. I love the Nick and Jess of it all. In 2020 alone I have watched the first five episodes of this show about ten times. I’ve watched the show from beginning to end twice in just the last three months of the year. I love it so much I’ve even considered writing fanfiction for it (though I really don’t have the time and haven’t even finished old works over the last year). When this pandemic is behind us all, I’d actually consider playing the (arguably dangerous and would likely give everyone alcohol poisoning) game of True American just to see if my friends and I could get through it. 2020 has been rough, but at least New Girl is still on Netflix.

There you have it, a baker’s dozen of the things that got me through this year - mostly in television format. There’s something I just love about serial storytelling, and when it looks like the world is falling apart, it’s nice to have the comfort of happy endings and stories you can plot out yourself. Here’s hoping 2021 is kinder to all of us, and has plenty more stories for us to get lost in.

[isoldegreyffxiv]

LF RP/LF Contacts - Mateus

the basics ––––

NAME: Isabelle Antoinette Margaux Juliette de Haillenarte... or just Belle.

AGE: 19

RACE: Elezen (Wildwood)

GENDER: Female

SEXUALITY: Heterosexual

MARITAL STATUS: Single

SERVER: Mateus

physical appearance ––––

HAIR: Waist-length chestnut brown hair kept in loose curls.

EYES: Pale blue.

HEIGHT: 5′10″. 

BUILD: Curvy and defined hourglass. Not quite overweight, but with some flattering softness of her tummy and thighs.

DISTINGUISHING MARKS: A little beauty mark by her eye. 

COMMON ACCESSORIES: Belle can often be seen wearing a simple and delicate silver locket in the shape of a heart, one passed down through generations in her family. This is only while in more casual settings; she leaves it at home when attending parties.

personal ––––

PROFESSION: Heiress of the Haillenarte family; seventeenth in line to the house. Daughter to a viscount of House Haillenarte.

HOBBIES: Flower arranging and the language of flowers is a passion of Belle’s. In another life, she would have been a florist. Apart from that, she enjoys dabbling in making medicines with herbs and flowers, poetry, music, reading, and playing with her small dog and canary. She’s known to have a lovely singing voice and to be rather skilled at the piano, as well as being a big bookworm.

LANGUAGES: Common tongue.

RESIDENCE: A manor belonging to her viscount father in Ishgard. Belle’s parents are known for being rather paranoid about their daughter being taken advantage of, and as such, the girl is rarely allowed to leave the family home for any reason other than arranged social engagements, such as balls or dinner parties. She toils away much of her time in her tower bedroom, fussing over her music, embroidery, pets, or flowers.

BIRTHPLACE: Ishgard.

PATRON DEITY: Halone.

FEARS: Being stuck in her tower forever, arranged marriages, airships. 

relationships –––-

SPOUSE: None, though her mother has been threatening an arranged marriage since she turned eighteen.

CHILDREN: None.

PARENTS: Her mother, Juliette, and her father, Victor. 

SIBLINGS: Only child.

OTHER RELATIVES: A multitude of cousins, aunts, and uncles, and two sets of living grandparents.

PETS: Her dog, Valentin, and her canary, Cherie.

traits ––––

extroverted / introverted / in between

disorganized / organized / in between

close minded / open-minded / in between

calm / anxious / in between

disagreeable / agreeable / in between

cautious / reckless / in between

patient / impatient / in between

outspoken / reserved / in between

leader / follower / in between

empathetic / unemphatic / in between

optimistic / pessimistic / in between

traditional / modern / in between

hard-working / lazy / in between

cultured / un-cultured / in between

loyal / disloyal / in between

faithful / unfaithful / in between

additional information ––––

SMOKING HABIT: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

DRUGS: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

ALCOHOL: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess

possible hooks ––––

Ishgardian nobles and courtiers from all houses - It would be nice to establish some friends, rivals, etc. in that particular territory. Though she is rather restricted to her ivory tower, Belle does frequent balls. Maybe your character has noticed the beautiful Haillenarte girl with a constantly full dance card and stunning gowns, or she’s offered a smile or kind word to the help at the parties, even lingering for some polite conversation.

Poets, writers, musicians, publishers, bards, literary enthusiasts - Belle is a lover of all of the arts. Though she has lead a rather sheltered life, her parents have allowed her to frequently go to the ballet, opera, and general theatre to see plays. She’s a bleeding heart romantic and will devour any romantic poetry or novels that come her way. It’s kind of set some unrealistic expectations for actual romance in her life. Real boys aren’t usually like book boys.

Ishgardian bachelors - Juliette de Haillenarte has been hellbent on marrying off her only child to an eligible and wealthy bachelor from a friendly house. Belle couldn’t be less enchanted by this notion. Maybe you’ve heard of the string of suitors chased off by the young lady and your character has a mind to try their hand at charming the uncharmable. 

Florists, apothecaries, hired help at the estate - Maybe you’ve a stablehand who has heard the sweet voice of the daughter of Viscount Hallenarte’s floating down from the tower while you work. Maybe you’re a florist she’s placed a large flower order to, or an apothecary she’s snuck letters to to ask questions regarding medicinal herbs and flowers. Even though most of Belle’s interactions would have been with other nobles, I, by no means, want to bar her from common folk! If you have any ideas of how your commoner character knows her, or at least knows of her, I’d love to hear them! 

Teachers and nannies - Belle has had an expensive education. If you play a character who may have been a tutor in Ishgard while she was growing up, then they would know she’s a very clever curious, and intelligent girl with a thirst for knowledge. 

what I’m looking for ––––

I don’t need a free company as I am already in one! However, I am definitely looking for a fun pool of RP contacts for this character. She can easily jump from comic relief to more serious plots, and I’d love to do both and everything in between. Belle is in need of friends, rivals, confidantes, and new experiences. Help her sneak out, dance with her at a party, be a jealous fellow highborn, a jilted suitor - I’m willing to explore most hooks with Belle.

A sidenote: For comic relief alone, I’d be kind of tickled to have a Gaston from Beauty and the Beast type character hounding Belle.I did draw some character inspiration from that movie (can you tell?) and it’s a trope I think would be a lot of fun to explore. We could take it to dark places if you wanted, too! Like I said, I’m pretty open to ideas and few things are off limits.

oocly, I am ––––

In a relationship! Despite Belle’s mother wanting an arranged marriage, she is not a character that is available for romance RP. She will be shipped with my boyfriend’s noble Elezen character. :) That’s not to say that I’m not totally cool with silly suitor RP or even genuine crushes on her being developed. Just please understand that they can’t go anywhere!

Excited to play this type of character and eager to meet people who will fit in with my character and my boyfriend’s character. 

Open to darker themes within reason. (No RPing out of rape or harming children in any way, but everything else should be fair game. If you have any questions or concerns, just ask!)

Sort of a night owl (as far as NA times go)

Friendly and happy to answer questions and plot! Throw all the plots at me. Pre-established relationships are totally cool with me, too!

you can contact me via ––––

Tumblr IM - this is my preferred method of communication and my most reliable one! 

In Game: Belle Haillenarte 

She’ll be getting her own sideblog ASAP!

[nathaen-blog1]

Appearance 

Gender: Male

Race: Human (Mother hails from pre-scourge Lordaeron nobility, father is a Stormwind Marquis)

Height: 6’2

Eye Color: Blue

Hair Color: Black

Age: 24

The Facts 

Occupation: Paladin, Heir-Apparent

Sexual identification: Heterosexual/Bi-curious

Romantic identification: Heteromantic (Very Selective)

Alignment: Lawful Neutral, borders on true neutral

Criminal History: None

Relationship Status: Single

Sweet on: None

Favorites 

Treat: Beer-Basted Boar Ribs

Drink: Sulfuron Slammer,  Rhapsody Malt

Artist: N/A

Scent: Leather, Sandalwood

Person: Kethair de Laurentis, Aidrian de Laurentis, Adoth de Laurentis

Deeper Knowledge 

Ten Details:

1 - Nathaen is the son of the Marquis of Windforge, whom is a noble of the Kingdom of Azeroth (Stormwind). His mother is the only surviving member of the Mardenhall family from Lordaeron. He has ties through his paternal aunt to Kul Tiras, and is close with his Kul Tiran cousins.

2 - Nathaen had an exemplary childhood. He was a happy, high-achieving boy with doting parents.

3 - Nathaen spent a large portion of his youth pursuing a working knowledge of medicine and anatomy (much to his father’s distaste), with the belief that he would only be able to serve in a military capacity as a physician. To a large degree, he was correct.

4 - Nathaen is asexual (his self-identification, in practice a little bit different). However, under the right circumstances, he is still a voracious flirt because he loves the word play, the attention, and the chase that it brings.

5 - Nathaen will instinctively play whatever part he subconsciously believes will be best received by the person he is interacting with. He will enhance or play down elements of his upbringing, mannerisms, or personality without thinking about it.

6 - Nathaen took his vows as a paladin at the age of 16, during a small ceremony attended by his mentor and a handful of other retired paladins from Windforge. He considers this more formative than his Age of Ascension in terms of defining him as a man. He became a paladin of the Order of the Silver Hand at the age of 23.

7 - Nathaen is a skilled combatant. Medicine was his ‘plan b’. He is excellent with a shield, and a gifted swordsman. If he had been born into another life, it would be easy to envision him as the victor of melee tournaments and gladiatorial matches.

8 - Nathaen’s first kill in battle was a cultist outside of the gates of Stormwind, during the elemental invasions that preceded the Shattering. He doesn’t lose sleep over it, or any of the others that have perished by his hand in the context of battle. The few times faces haunt him, they are those that he couldn’t save.

9 - Nathaen is marginally fearful of sailing. He would never admit it to his cousins, whom are proud Kul Tirans, but there’s something about the idea of being out at sea that he finds unsettling. It’s nearly without merit, as he is both a strong swimmer and a competent sailor, and he’s certainly not afraid of the ocean itself. He’s good enough at hiding that fear that he’s pretty sure no one knows.

10 - Much like how ‘I’d ask the genie for 100 wishes!’ is a great cop-out to not being able to come up with a single good wish, Nathaen is a very complex… and it’s far too difficult to select only one detail to fill round this out.

Five Things 

Things Preferred:

Alcoholic drinks served in shot glasses

Aesthetically pleasing, hand-forged armor of the highest quality, regardless of the culture that created it.

Quel’dorei. Not so much in a romantic sense, but as a people. He’s encountered quite a few over the past year in the Order of the Silver Hand, and finds them fascinating. Their tenacity and diligence inspires him.

Windforge. He can’t think of a better place to be than home. While he hasn’t travelled extensively by any stretch of the imagination, he loves his ancestral land.

Solitude. Though one might be tempted to describe Nathaen as extroverted, he prefers his own company or the company of a few close companions.

Things Disliked:

Horde Members, Horde Sympathizers, or Scourge (Or things that resemble scourge/were formerly scourge)

Idealogues

Non-Carbonated Wine (of any color/variety)

Pandaren Food

People who claim to be good fighters, but hide behind ranged weaponry

Habits (Good or Bad):

He’s schedule-bound, and very predictable because of it.

He paces at all given opportunities.

All personal criticisms are lumped in with insults and redirected to the ‘these people aren’t worth my time’ box.

He always sleeps on the right side of the bed. Always.

There must be a clock in every room he sleeps in. Checking the time is the first thing he does in the morning, before he even rolls out of bed. He has a collection of Gilnean pocket watches that accompany him when he is travelling.

Personality Traits Drawn To:

Passionate

Calculating

Ambitious

Confident

Intelligent, Specifically Logical/Tactical

This isn’t a personality trait so much as a skill, but he is drawn to people who know how to play the game. He’s a politician by birthright.

Personality Traits Repelled From:

False Ego

Emotional, Mental, Spiritual or Physical Frailty/Imbalance

Willful Ignorance or Ineptitude

Cowardice

Victim & Martyr Complexes

None of these are irredeemable if they are balanced out by other traits that he is drawn to. The only thing that he is unshakably, irrevocably repulsed by is poorly controlled emotion.

Fears:

Sensory Deprivation

Deep Sea Sailing

OOC Notes 

I prefer to write him in a very uncontrolled way, meaning that I refuse to OOCly dictate the direction his story takes and will instead allow IC to develop in a natural way according the the actions and words of the characters involved. This does mean that I am open to things like character injury and illness if the circumstances are realistic and genuine. I don’t suffer OOC drama well, and will cut off interaction at the first whiff of it.

[palace-of-freedom]

They say that when you're sleepy, and its 3am, you're more yourself than you ever are. Your thoughts are more unfiltered and things just come spilling out. I think that its very true. People are like ogres - we have layers. 

We have so many layers, that we don't even know who we truly are. I mean, if you were to strip away yourself piece by piece; take away your role in society one by one; at the end of it all who are you? what are you? 

If you aren't a son or a daughter; student or employee; male or female; aunt or uncle; relative; friend; sibling. Without the rest of the world who are you? What is your underlying self?

In biological terms, your outermost layer is your skin. Below that you have all our arteries, veins and capillaries. Going deeper, you are bone and skeleton. And then comes your organs - the things that work day and night to keep you alive, healthy and functioning. 

In psychological or spiritual terms, you are first a living body. Then you are a thinking mind. And then, once you take away all of this, all you're left with is a soul. Thats what you come into this world with. And thats what you take from it.Your soul is the foundation over which your memories, thoughts, values, beliefs, experiences and behaviours begin to mould around. 

I wonder a lot about who and what I would be without everything that surrounds me. I know that humans have been designed and created as social beings, meant to interact with and be around other people, but I can’t help but wonder if I was allowed to truly be myself without any consequences; or if I could do anything and live a selfish life, then what would I do? 

Factually I know that both my questions are moo points, because without people around me, I would have no culture or language or anything of that sort - and therefore, there would be no difference between me and an animal. Similarly I also know that living a life purely for yourself and doing anything without consequence would just make us all lazy, and take away any inspiration or motivation to do anything. It would just create a society of disaster. 

However, in hypothetical terms, I’m still curious and only satisfaction will bring me back. I know for a fact that if I were living a life for myself alone, I would not be studying psychology. I got into psychology purely because I saw the affects of depression on some of the people closest to me, and the symptoms were something I wouldn't even wish my worst enemy to go through. But all my life, I’ve been obsessed with animals and specially dogs. I used to dream of opening my own mini zoo and rescuing all animals who were abused, mistreated or had no home, and just giving them a happy home to stay in. Being a psychologist and learning how to treat mental illness is not something I’m genuinely interested in. I’m more interested in learning how the mind works. Where I want to go from there, I’m not so sure of but I’ve got plenty of time to figure out a career path, while just enjoying and appreciating studying it today. And running an animal shelter is something I can always do. Psychology is my interest right now and I do want to learn, if for nothing else, then at least it will help me understand my own brain, which has been in a state of pure chaos for some time now. 

I think thats the main reason I’m so curious about who i would be without people around me. The person I am under all these layers and layers. I can list out my personality traits and go on and on about them but I don't know how that will help. Because how is personality really different from the soul and the mind. The soul is the spark that gives life. The mind is what guides the soul and personality is the features that the soul, mind and society create. 

Over the course of life, your entire personality changes as the world moulds you. I started as a kid who used to hate eating food and love dogs. Today I’m a foodie and I still love dogs. But over the past few years, the change in my personality has been quite drastic. For one, I went from an optimist to a pessimist. For another, I’m less shy, less introverted and more social. I’m also more vocal about my wants and demands and I can make my voice heard when it matters. I am no longer a doormat and I love that. 

However, its still pretty damn easy to manipulate me. Its very easy for people to play with my feelings or to coerce me into doing things for them. This is something I need to change but it also worries me because it means I don't see people as the best they can be, but instead the worst. The rose tinted glasses I wear, will come off, and I know reality isn't the best. But at the same time, I would like people to see me in a good light rather than as flawed. And although I would like to be seen as amazing and brilliant, I see myself as a fuck up. I believe I screw up everything good in my life because I make stupid decisions, say stupid things or feel stupid things and I feel like that creates chaos out of everything. For example, I can only ever crush on people who can see me as a good friend. Good relationships I screw up by not prioritising them or managing and maintaining them badly. I fight too much. I’m stubborn and I cant let go of anything - from memories to grudges to pillows. I should have been made with warranty, terms and conditions and an instruction manual because everything keeps glitching every few days and its triggered by the smallest of things - from friends arguing to awkward chats. I need to work on my emotional tolerance levels and find a way to deal with pain and disappointment because its been hitting me like a truck for a while now in various ways. 

Its these disappointing experiences with humans that makes me question who I would be without them. Without my parents, would i be less screwed up? Would I believe more in love and marriage? Would I still be with a certain ex? Would i be happier? I know the answer to this, If not these problems, I would have another set of issues. But I still examine all my experiences with people. Like had my sister not left home and got married early, would I have as many issues with abandonment that I do? Had my ex not gone off at me for every little thing - for being selfish, helpless, worthless, arrogant and so much more, would I have a better self esteem? Would I be more confident about decisions I take had I not been criticised for every single one I made by most people in my life? Had my best friend not ignored me for days on end after arguments, would I be more comfortable about getting into debates and expressing my emotions and opinions? Had my other best friend not walked out of my life, would I be more comfortable with other friends leaving and going abroad, without fearing losing them eventually? Had I not fallen for the first person to show me love and care last year, would I trust my feelings more and be more comfortable accepting my feelings? Had i not experienced all of this I would be a completely different person today. The only question is what would I be? 

Today I am who I am mainly because of all these experiences. If not these I would have had to deal with countless others and I wouldn’t be this person today. And honestly, while there are some aspects of myself that I hate (for example, I am too emotional, too sensitive, overbearing, I wear my heart on my sleeve, too attached, too scared and fearful), I also love the fact that I care about people, specially my friends. I love my ability to read the people I’m close to like they're open books, even though a lot of the time it goes unappreciated (I intend to stop confronting them about this i future because of this lack of appreciation - and because I get told I check in too much because I’m reading too much into things or because I feel guilty). I also love the fact that I am empathising and understanding, and had i not experienced my fair share of shit i wouldn't be this person. And had I not had these bad experiences, I wouldn't be the person I am today. However I also firmly believe that we all need to go through problems. Had it not been these issues, I would have had countless others to deal with.

After all, what is life without problems. Happiness, according to Mark Manson, comes from solving problems. And life cant be perfect and happy all the time. If perfect is a constant state, then its just normal. You need to have the variety of moods, feelings and emotions - fear, anger, sadness, happiness and all of the others, despite the fact that they are negative. Its the only way you truly appreciate the few and rare moments of happiness in between, and then chase things that actually make you happy.

However happiness today is more like a drug. It comes fleetingly and it has to be induced either through alcohol, smoking or hanging out with good friends. Its easy come and easy go. And I value those fleeting moments so much, but I just wish they would come naturally. For that I guess I need to start figuring my shit out and dealing with my issues and problems, but I have no clue where to start. My brain is like a tangled mess and I don't have the energy to untangle it.

[nigelwenttofrance-blog]

“She Has A Tendency To Pee On Things That Are Older Than America”

Welcome back!

As I type these words, I’m very much in my happy place aboard a TGV flying towards Nîmes from Paris at almost 300 kph (~180 mph), and reminiscing on my past 3ish weeks. Lemme tell y’all, I’ve been just a traveling FOOL, and I’m not mad about it!

There are multiple trips recounted in this, so it’s split into three sections for the three different trips: 

Berlin & Hamburg ✔️

Rome ✔️

Rotterdam ⁉️ (yes, I went back again) ✔️

Berlin and Hamburg 

So as I said at the end of the previous post, I had planned a trip for me, by me to Germany as a birthday present to myself from, you guessed it, me, but also funded by my loving and incredibly generous parents. This was actually the first journey I’d ever taken completely on my own (apart from, you know, moving across an ocean to a foreign country all alone), and to say that I was nervous would be putting it mildly. I was genuinely scared that spending an entire weekend alone, going to a country I’d never been to before, without anyone who speaks English or French to help me if I get lost...let’s just say that my maternal paranoia (but also, in my case, my sororal paranoia) was kicking in. But, I had already booked the tickets and there were no refunds to be spoken of because lol #ryanair, so I pushed the fears to the back of my mind, and I’m really glad I did: it was an incredibly successful trip!

The journey started off in Toulouse after a train ride that was too early, even for me. Toulouse is a city I’d heard some good things about, and I was glad to be able to check another French city off my list, but I was really only interested in it because there was a makeup store that I’ve wanted to go to for the past couple years—Kryolan. Since I only had a few hours of a layover between train and plane, when I arrived in Toulouse, I wandered around aimlessly for an hour or so, found the makeup shop and got what I needed (banana setting powder, in case anyone was curious) and made my way to the airport.

You are crazy, my child. You must go to Berlin! — Franz von Suppé

Now, I have to say, as excited as I was for this trip as I was planning it, I’m not entirely sure what I was thinking when I decided to go to northeastern Germany in late January, especially after having lived in the south of France for 4 months. It vaguely occurred to me as we were landing that Berlin wouldn’t have the exact same climate as Nîmes, but I was very much unprepared for the gust of actual-winter air that greeted me as I walked off the plane. And what’s worse, there was SNOW. Again, not sure what I was thinking.

All that said, Berlin has definitely been added to my list of favorite cities! I stayed at an Airbnb (well technically it was a “MisterB&B,” which is basically Airbnb, but for gay men 😂  but for all intents and purposes, it was an Airbnb), but I barely spent anytime in the apartment, even though the hosts were very friendly and had ridiculously cute home—one of them was an interior decorator. #fulfillingstereotypes

Anyway, I chose the apartment/MisterB&B because I wanted to experience a city from a “gay” perspective, and the apartment was in the gay district of Berlin, Schöneberg. But when I got to the apartment it was well after sunset (AKA 5:15), so I decided to stay close to home so I could see the rest of the city in the daylight the next day. Schöneberg was still pretty lively when I finally left the apartment to explore. I wandered around the streets for a while, popped into a view stores, and eventually stopped to look at a menu outside of a burger joint that seemed pretty promising. I was just deciding to go in, when I turned to my right, and there was a man straight up staring at me. I quickly realized, however, he wasn’t really staring, but more waiting for me to respond as he had asked me a question that went unheard over the roar of Beyoncé in my ears: he had asked me to grab a drink with him. I contemplated the idea...this was incredibly random and sure enough, I felt my maternal/sororal paranoias coming into play, telling me no, go home, you don’t know him, or where he’s been, or what his motives are... but at the same time, I was very flattered. Isn’t this the kind of thing that happens in movies? Could this man be the man of my dreams? Would we fall in love and live in Berlin and raise babies* together (babies*=puppies)?! My paternal/fraternal “eh, why not?” sense had kicked in and I shrugged and said “Sure! Why not? Free alcohol is not something I’m opposed to!”

His name was Chris, and we walked around until we found a nice bar and we sat and chatted the night away. He was German and actually from Hamburg, in Berlin for work (but don’t ask me what he does, I’m sure I don’t remember.) Anyway, come midnight or so, he decided to call it quits as his train was leaving really early in the morning, and I was falling asleep as it was, having been awake since 4.30 in the morning. Alas, Chris did not turn out to be the man of my dreams, but it was still nice to have some human interaction after traveling alone all day, and I did say I wanted a gay experience, didn’t I? #success. And beyond that, like, how bold of him! I know only like 4 people read this, but how many of you would, if you weren’t married/in committed relationships, walk up to a stranger you found attractive and ask them out? Even though you almost most definitely won’t ever read this, I applaud you, Chris, for your boldness, keep it up and teach it to the world.

But so traveling; Day TWO in Berlin was dedicated to actual, tourist-trap sightseeing. I started out with the Fernsehturm de Berlin, which is a huge TV tower in the city with an observatory at the top that has panoramic views of Berlin. I had planned to do other things before this, but in retrospect, I’m glad I decided to go there first because that line was long, and then once you finally got inside the building from the numbing wind, you were just buying a placeholder to go up to the observatory at least two hours later. It ended up working my favor, though, because after buying the tickets, I made my way to the East Side Gallery, a section of the Berlin Wall that’s still intact and covered in beautiful artwork. Now again, as it was January and also 20º, this particular adventure was mostly “take a picture, admire artwork for 2 seconds, and keep walking before my legs succumb to frostbite” as opposed to actually taking and admiring the artwork. 

While it might not have been as fulfilling as it could’ve been, it ended up working perfectly because by the time I got back to TV tower, it was time to...wait in another line 🙄 . But it didn’t last long and in no time, I was getting the view of Berlin from the top. Yet again, however, the lack of planning for this trip in terms of the weather/season, coupled with the fact that I went up during sunset, proved to be rather troublesome, and the haze from the setting sun made it incredibly difficult to see the city through the windows of the observatory. I was mildly disappointed after having done all the waiting and whatnot, but, as I looked out over Berlin, I saw a skyscraper facing the TV tower which was clearly sporting an observatory deck, sans windows. I remembered that I had read that there was a hotel that also offered panoramic views of Berlin, but of course, being myself, after reading about it, I promptly forgot. So I made my way down from the top of the TV tower—which was good timing anyway as most of the children up there had been given entirely too much liberty from their parents—and ascended the top of the hotel, and caught some absolutely gorgeous shots of Berlin with the setting sun. I’m never one to brag about my photography skills (especially not landscape photography), but I was really proud of these shots! 

So, alas, the sun had set, and so had the temperature by what felt like 10ª, so it was time for me to no longer be outside. 

Over the past few years, I had gone back and forth about getting a tragus piercing (fyi: a tragus is that funny little nubbin of cartilage toward the front of your ear) because it’s small, cute (and also not my earlobe since that trend has definitely ended). Once I finished taking pictures on the top of the hotel, I decided, spur of the moment, that this would be the trip to do it because it was the first trip I’d made solo and wanted to do something to remember it, so why not? Coincidentally, as I was meandering through Schöneberg that first night, I stumbled upon a piercing parlor, and figured it would be perfect, especially since it was in the gay district. When I got there I talked to the man in the parlor about what the whole process would be, and I quickly gathered that he was American. We of course had to chitchat for awhile about what brought us to Europe, our thoughts about the different cultures, blah blah blah and 30 minutes later, I had my ear pierced! Woo! It wasn’t nearly as painful as I thought it might be, and the worse part of the whole process actually ended up being the fact that I could hear the needle going through my cartilage with two little pops. *shivers* But it was done! I’m really happy with it, I think it adds just the right amount of extra flare to my style.

So the next day, Day 3 in Germany! I traveled to Hamburg, and I of course decided to take the ICE train (which is basically the German version of the TGV), and needless to say I was fangirling the whooooole time. But then, after I boarded, to my own surprise, I slept through the entire journey...😐 . I was thoroughly shocked when I woke up to realize that we had arrived. But, oh well, it’s still another famous train ticked off my list! 

Now Hamburg was a part of this adventure I was particularly worried about because in addition to the whole traveling alone thing, it would be my first time staying in a hostel and sharing a room with up to 5 other random humans, and those who know me well enough know that I am not very fond of other humans in my day-to-day life. That being said, I made a really good connection while I was there: When I entered the room, heart pounding, fully expecting to see some gross man cutting his yellowing toenails on the floor, instead there was a girl sitting in the windowsill on the phone and speaking American English. Once she hung up, we instantly started chatting about this and that, and I learned that her name is Daunt’e and that thanks to being a military brat, she had traveled quite literally all over the planet, and was in the process of traveling for another 3 months, just cuz. Needless to say, we had plenty to talk about. We walked around Hamburg for a few hours and then grabbed some burgers at a restaurant called Burgerlich which, in addition to being delicious, was super innovative because you did everything, from ordering your food to getting more napkins, with iPads that came out of the top of the table. We ate and drank and continued our chit chats until it was time for me to go to the place that was, if I’m being honest, the entire reason for this trip to Germany:

Miniatur Wunderland: The World’s LARGEST Model Railroad.

—NOBODY PANIC, I KNOW IT’S EXCITING, BUT I NEED EVERYONE TO CALM DOWN—

Okay, so once I got all the voices in my head to chill, I basically ran to this place and even with the hype I’d heard (hype I’d heard from, again, the voices in my head), this place was so far beyond what I could have expected.

It. Was. Incredible.

When you first walked in, you were greeted with a wall full of TVs each displaying one section of the layout, and a few guys sitting in front of what looked like incredibly intense control boards. Once past the TVs, I realized that they divided the layout into different sections based on countries or regions. They had Germany, America, Scandinavia, Switzerland, Italy and a few other places. As you walked along, you saw the different trains (duh), landscapes, architecture, culture, you name it, it was there, of each region. They had wide, open fields, an absolutely enormous replica of the Alps that was well over 10 feet tall, they even had actual water with an ACTUAL CRUISE SHIP THAT ACTUALLY MOVED AND TURNED BY ITSELF TO AND FROM AND IN AND OUT OF THE PORT; they had the mountains of the Western USA and in every region there was just...an almost painful, annoyingly precise attention to detail. Every. Single. Aspect. of Every. Single. Region was thought of and executed perfectly. They even had cars and buses and trucks that drove along the road BY THEMSELVES. They had working stoplights at which the various vehicles would stop, while using their working brake lights! And then of course, they had just a stupid amount of miniature people in the miniature worlds as well, and I swear, you could spend full months in there and you’d still find a miniature person doing some crazy, whacky things that you never noticed before. Seriously!  I’m actually kind of at a loss for words when I try to think of a way to properly describe all the probably thousands of different scenarios they had set up. One of the most impressive was a rock concert they had set up that had to have had at least 500+ miniature humans ALL doing DIFFERENT things. 

The most impressive feature of the layout had to have been the working airport. I had read about this thing online and still couldn’t believe it was real while I was looking at it. Y’all, they built an entire working model airport. With planes that quite literally land and take off! And on top of that, once the planes landed, they actually moved, by themselves, to the terminals! And when they were all full of “people,” they backed up, again, by themselves, drove to the runway, and took off. JAW: DROPPED AND SUBSEQUENTLY SHATTERED. The terminal itself was huge, and, just as the rest of the layout, filled with what had to have been thousands of individual people. 

Looking back, this place was so realistic and so well thought out,  I wouldn’t have surprised, nor mad had the miniature people actually started moving. Ugh.

I just. 

I. JUST.

I went to bed the happiest of Nigel’s that night. 

Alas, all good things must come to an end, and the next day, I flew back to Paris and caught my train back to Nîmes. But! Obviously not before I made my way to Chipotle, and ended up getting a FREE burrito because the French are apparently yet to have mastered the fine art of wrapping a burrito that’s the size of a newborn child. I must admit, I doubt it’s an easy skill to learn. Regardless I was not mad about it, y’all! 🌯

Rome

Post-German adventures, after a few days of relaxation and tutoring in Nîmes, I joined my roommate Carrie and her friend Dom (a different Dom than last time!) halfway through their own European adventure of Paris, Rome, and ending in Barcelona. When I heard about their plans I figured it’d be a perfect opportunity to finally go to Italy, as I thought it was pretty strange that I studied opera and lived in Europe for two years and still hadn’t been to Italy. What?

So day 1: The Dom, Carrie and Nigel Main Attraction Marathon 

On this day, we did all the major touristy, you-have-to-go-see-this-if-you’re-in-Rome” attractions: the Colosseum, the Trevi Fountain, the Spanish Steps, the Pantheon, etc. Carrie’s Fitbit kept track of all our steps and I think this day was our highest! 

We did take a break from the marathon tour at one point between sight-seeing. We decided we wanted to stop and just soak up and enjoy the Italian sun and the beautiful weather that had graced our first day. We pulled up our maps and found the Villa Borghese Gardens, a park in the western part of the city and rented one of those multi-person cab/bicycle machines and drove through the park, terrifying everyone around us as we yelled in English from fear of hitting a passing pedestrian... #oops. But no one died, so I call it a successful adventure, and our sight seeing marathon continued afterwards.

Our dinner plans for each night ended up being very consistent with the exception of our first night. On this night, we decided a little too late to eat, and found ourselves getting to restaurants just as they had closed their kitchens. Carrie, however, came to the rescue with her favorite restaurant in Rome (she’s been to Rome about six times and knew the good places to go), that she had been saving for our last day. She had somehow (read: drunkenly) made friends with the owner of the restaurant, and even though it was about 6 years ago, they still remembered her and were always overjoyed to see her whenever she came back. 

The food was, of course, delicious. All three of us ordered the Cacio e Pepe, which is basically spaghetti in a spicy cheesy sauce, and what blew my mind was that they literally made the pasta in the restaurant while we drank the wine and waited! What?! Maybe it’s common practice in Italian culture, but I couldn’t believe it! 

The next day, Day 2 in Rome!, we all went to our separate corners for most of the day. Dom, who was doing her very first European trip, and who had been sick while in Paris, needed a day to recover; Carrie, being the health-nut that she is, went on a very long run and if I’m not mistaken got very lost; and I grabbed my bag and my camera and kinda just wandered around the city for a few hours. We met up later for a group wander around the city, but didn’t see anything too exciting (relatively speaking of course, this is Rome we’re talking about). But as dull as Day 2 might seem, it was the night we had our first Italian aperitivo which we ended up doing this every night for the rest of the trip because of its genius. It’s basically like the American happy hour, but with a brilliant twist: it’s 10€ for one glass of wine or cocktail as well as an all you can eat buffet that’s unique to each restaurant. GENIUS.  This ended up being a fantastic way to go to a variety of restaurants without breaking the bank and might be one of the things I miss the most about Rome.

Day 3 in Rome! was what most people would consider the big day if you’re in Rome: we went to see St. Peter’s Basilica and the Vatican and its many, many, many museums. It goes without saying that everything was beautiful. And even more beautiful, the longest wait we had was only about an hour and a half! True perks of sight-seeing during the off-season! It was so uncrowded, that we actually walked straight into the Vatican museums, no lines, no wait! Carrie, having been to Rome multiple times, said that she had once waited for 4 hours to get into the museums and was stunned that Dom and I just waltzed in as if we were going to Target. Carrie also, citing that she had been multiple times, declined to join us into the museums. I didn’t understand at first, especially since she had already toured the Colosseum with us, but it didn’t take long for me to get the picture.The Vatican Museums have just an insane amount of artwork, having been in the process of collecting over centuries by the various Popes. I can only imagine that after waiting in line for up to 4 hours, walking around and trying to absorb the thousands of pieces of art for another 4 hours would be nothing less than exhausting. 

Dom and I decided to leave the Sistine Chapel for last, knowing full well that if we started there, we’d probably just leave afterwards 😂. And of course, not being art buffs as well as already feeling the past 2.5 days of walking in our feet, were not stopping to admire every single piece, so we had what I’m sure a lot of other tourists would consider a speedy pace through the museums, and yet it still took us about 3 hours. 

So now, here’s a point where I realize, as I type, that there’s a potential for an #unpopularopinion: I was rather underwhelmed by the Sistine Chapel.

Lemme explain.

Every time you hear about the Sistine Chapel or see anything about it, you see or hear about The Creation of Adam, so I thought that that painting would be the main focus, or the biggest part of the ceiling. I was quite mistaken. While it is very much in the center, it was the same size as the rest of the paintings, and it actually took me a hot second to find it! All that said, the Chapel (as well as the entire Vatican and its museums), was breathtaking, but definitely does not look like it does on the box... I guess what I should say is that I was going into the experience expecting something very, very different.

But so okay, world renowned piece of culture and art officially checked off my list! Woo! 

Carrie, again with her traveling prowess, had compiled a list of restaurants that we had to try while we were there, and so after St. Peter’s Basilica, but before the museums, we went to check one out. Usually, the list had details about the restaurant listed such as recommended dishes, best times to go, etc. but the restaurant we went post-Peter, Bonci, had only one thing written: GO. Knowing Carrie, this was no joke, and sure enough, it wasn’t.

 Bonci is a “pizzarium” that uses all natural ingredients and makes handmade pizzas. It was a “street restaurant” and so once you had your pizza, you sat outside and enjoyed the Roman sun while your mind was absolutely blown by the delicious pizza. The pizzas they make are very square (literally, not metaphorically), very large, and basically in HD. I’ve never seen so many pizzas in so many bright and vibrant colors that all looked so good. Needless to say, I got seconds...and then went back the next day for thirds.

The next day, Day 4 in Rome!, we three musketeers disbanded yet again for the morning and went our separate ways for a few hours. I had found an article online about interesting things to do and see off the beaten path in Rome, and read about a canon that’s apparently fired everyday to signal that it’s noon. This is apparently done to help all the churches and cathedrals in the city know the exact time so they can set their bells to toll at the same time. When I got to the top of the massive hill, sweaty and dehydrated, I was surprised to find a sizable crowd there, and even more surprised to hear that the majority of the crowd was made up of Italians. They were all lined up along the edge of a hill and at the bottom was the cannon and three soldiers. Out in the distance was a gorgeous panoramic view of Rome that really took my breath away. But so, the cannon was indeed fired, and my ears indeed started to ring because I was, indeed, standing too close to it. #oops. But alas, that was my last day in Italy, and after another night of aperitivo, the next day I was on my plane back to France, while Dom and Carrie continued on Barcelona. And, yes I was, indeed, jealous.

Rotterdam

So if you haven’t gathered the idea yet, I really, really, really enjoy the Netherlands, and decided after visiting this summer that I’d go as often as possible while doing TAPIF. Something about the culture and of course the friends I’d made there make every trip I’ve made so far just incredibly successful, and this time was no exception. 

Well, there was actually one exception to this non-exempt trip: to keep things cheap, I usually take the TGV from Nîmes to Paris, and then take an 8 hour bus ride from Paris to Amsterdam. For some, 8 hours is entirely too much, but to me, after having done 8 hours to and from CT and Pittsburgh in college, it was quite run of the mill, and even better, the bus from Paris to Amsterdam is usually relatively empty and quiet. On this trip however, that was not the case.

First off, I don’t know WHAT was going on with the bus driver, but homeboy could not drive in a straight line and we literally swerved from one side of the lane to the other the whole way from Paris to Brussels. But, in reality since it was a giant coach bus, we were actually swerving from one side of our lane to the other side of the lane next us. We finally stopped in Brussels and thankfully changed drivers, but now the bus was suddenly full of people. I, somehow, miraculously, still had two seats to myself. So, as the bus started to roll along, I put my headphones back in and let most likely Beyoncé sing away the next however many hours...until I heard that dreaded sound. The sound of logs being sawed in half, the sound of a manual car’s gears grinding as you fail to shift gears, the sound of a motorcycle idling at a stop light: snoring. LOUD snoring.

I took out my headphones in disbelief that someone’s lack of nasal strips could penetrate the beauteous sounds of my Queen🐝 , and I turned and saw a dark-skinned, heavyset man in a very bright yellow shirt, mouth agape, eyes shut, sounding like he was leveling a FOREST.

So, to give you some context, I really hate snoring. Like really, really, really hate snoring, and become irrationally angry irrationally quickly when I have to sleep in a room with someone who snores. In my sleep deprived mind, I get so jealous that they get to sleep while I get to SUFFER. But this time, I wasn’t even trying to sleep, and I learned I don’t just hate snoring when I’m attempting to sleep, but in more of a general sense, in any and all forms. Thankfully, my stop, Rotterdam, was before Amsterdam, so I didn’t have to spend the entirety of the remaining bus trip contemplating violently shaking the man awake. I may be used to 8 hour trips on the road, but I have limits, y’all!

All snoring aside, this trip to the Netherlands, while successful, was definitely much more relaxed than my last three. I stayed with my friend Gert-Jan, the founder of the queer youth center The Hangout010 in Rotterdam whom I met this past summer. When I arrived, I went straight to The Hangout and had some dinner and caught up with Gert and some other friends, and happened to have arrived while some American college students were visiting Rotterdam and The Hangout while studying abroad. We had a really engaging conversation about sexuality and gender and then went to grab some drinks at a local gay bar. 

The next day was a true Nigel day: I wandered around Rotterdam for a few hours and grabbed some lunch at the Markthal, took the train to Amsterdam and then just wandered around my favorite city until it was too cold to be outside (and I of COURSE went back to the Foodhallen and spent entirely too much money). 

On day 2, I visited my Couchsurfing host from my last Dutch excusrion to Leiden, Christiaan, in Deventer, a very cute little town in the eastern part of the country. It was filled with quirky little shops, including some that sold model trains (that I somehow refrained from purchasing), one that only sold stamps, and another that had three or four enormous trays so full of postcards that I thought they were selling CDs. They had postcards of literally anything you could think of: animals, people, naked people, buildings, trains, chairs, beds, anything and everything. Needless to say, I got one from the train section.

After our mostly window shopping, Christiaan and I went back to his apartment and were thinking of what to make for make dinner, and decided on ginger pumpkin chutney with some cheese and bread, as well as pumpkin curry that ended up being a lot better than I thought it would! The chutney, too, was outstanding, and within a half an hour, both were completely demolished. 

I got back to Rotterdam late that night, and the next day, unfortunately had to leave until who knows when! ��  😖  😭

The Journey Home

“Nigel, why in the world would you write about the journey home, it couldn’t have been that exciting.” I know, I know, but this one ended up being really funny! (And also the source of the title 😉 ).

Well I got on the bus in Amsterdam. I sat down. A very handsome man sits down next to me (and was I mad about it? Y’all know I was not!). But, as it was 8.45 in the morning, I didn’t really try to strike up a conversation. 

Until!

I realized I had left all the food I had for the trip in my bag which was now in the overhead bin. Not thinking, I asked him in English if I could get out and he looked at me in shock. As it turned out, even though he was indeed French, he had spent a year abroad in California, and had been dying to find an American with whom he could practice his English. His name was Cyril. We got to talking and I heard about his time in SoCal and I told him about my being a teacher blah blah...and then we got to talking about what we were doing in the Netherlands. We had both only gone for the weekend, and both had gone for the sake of seeing good friends. And then, almost to himself, he mentioned that the bus ride to Amsterdam had been awful. I commented that mine had been pretty awful too, the worst part being the snoring man...Cyril stopped me: “was he like a bigger guy with a really crazy bright yellow shirt?” I looked at him curiously...and asked him if the first bus driver had been just completely incompetent at driving in a straight line, and it was confirmed: we had been on the same bus! We laughed about it for a while and once we got to Paris, we exchanged Facebooks and went our separate ways. 

For the train ride home, I was hoping for a quiet ride so I could write this blog post. Just as the train was leaving, I realized no one had sat down next to me, and was very thankful for the extra space, and settled in to recounting my adventures. But then of course, a woman sits down next to me. Womp. Oh well, I told myself, no biggie. So I try and get some typing done until I realize, this woman is fiddling with a very thick and very long, purple rope. What? I do my best to inconspicuously see what it leads to, but with no luck. Until the other end of the rope suddenly...moves! It was a dog! And a beautiful one at that. Now again, as is the case when I see any dog, my mind just shut down and I started speaking to her in English about her dog. Thankfully, she was American too, and we talked the whole ride down.

Yvette, I learned, was from Colorado (Denver, I think) and just so happened to also be doing TAPIF in a town called Béziers, not too too far from Nîmes. We gabbed about life abroad and what is was like to be a teacher (she’s a primary school teacher, too) and so on. Eventually, her dog, Kaya, got tired of being on the floor in the aisle and decided she’d be more comfortable between Yvette and myself which I, of course, had no problem with. I asked her what it was like to have your dog with you while living abroad, and Yvette explained that, while it certainly had its perks, it could be frustrating when it came to traveling: the TGVs never had enough space for everyone’s luggage let alone a dog, and keeping an eye on the dog proved to be difficult when your eyes are seeing the sights: 

“I have to be very mindful of her when we go sightseeing,” she told me. “I’ve realized that Kaya has a tendency to pee on things that are older than America. We went to some ancient church in Béziers, and I looked up to admire it, and then looked down to see Kaya peeing on it.”

Needless to say, I cackled and promptly retitled this blog post.

Alas, that was the last day of my vacation. Since then, it’s back to the grind here in Nîmes with teaching and tutoring in full swing. The weather has been absolutely gorgeous as the perks of living the south of France have made themselves apparent with 60º+ weather and days full of sunshine.

Et c’est tout! Thanks to those who read all of my ramblings, this one in particular was a doozy, but I really appreciate it! Next post(s) will be hopefully a trip to Portugal and Madrid for April vacation (omg I’m so excited I can’t even, I can literally only odd), and maybe a weekend trip or two during the vacation-less month of March!

Until next time!