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#i am here for my joy. FIND YOUR JOY BUDDY. FIND SHIT THAT MAKES YOU SAY POSITIVE THINGS AND NOT NEGATIVE ONES
hajihiko · 2 years
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bruh i don't even ship komahina but that one anon got on my nerves
like who says that?? "hey i didn't like that thing you just posted it would be such a shame if you kept posting things like that and forced me to unfollow" like,, who do they think they are. who cares if you unfollow. 99% are on here for fun
I feel like it's a product of Modern Content Creating which is, by and large, "followers = numbers = sales?? or otherwise monetary stuff". Which tumblr straight isn't, thank god!
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radioisntdead · 26 days
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Hey could I request a scenario where the reader is Alastor's niece and the vees have a crush and alastor's reaction to finding out as well as the Vees. Honeslty if you have it where he beats up basically goes ha no for Vals part and beats him up I'd love that
Good evening my dear after writing I'm realizing you may have meant for them to be separate categories but I went love square [???]
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Warnings!!
Valentino, the Vee's being weird, OOC, Vox being a voyeuristic creep, reader has deer features
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You know after aiding your favorite [and only] uncle in murder and falling to hell while your mother and grandma ascended above, having a trio of overlords falling head over heels for you was NOT on your bingo card.
You didn't notice them having a crush on you until Auntie Rosie pointed it out when Velvette had a large shipment of not only clothing mailed to you but with flowers, Vox had sent electronics and more flowers [that Alastor would have such joy destroying] and Valentino had sent you erotica.
Classy.
Velvette would be the most aggressive in getting your attention, she probably also has the biggest chance to win over your affections, shoving people out of the way to talk to you, affectionately calling you things, giving you a new woredrob every other week, flowers, personally inviting you to her fashion shows and giving you VIP seating.
Vox watches you, I imagine you at least have a phone probably not Voxtech though so I imagine it's probably slightly harder to watch you through that, but with drones and other devices he watches, probably calls you something like Doe-eyes or Dollface, he's called you mini Alastor a couple of times which you did NOT APPRECIATE, once he realizes that Alastor keeps destroying the technology he sends you he switches to flowers, with cameras in them, he sometimes teleports through them and is often met with you swinging something at him and breaking his screen, unfortunately for you he's into that.
Valentino, arguably the WORST one to have pinning over you, dude manages to pop out at the worst times offering to make you a star, asking you to warm his bedroom, uncomfortably leaning in and touching you.
You ripped off his antenna.
The three of them bicker over you in private.
Now after you figured out WHY they were sending you shit and giving you special privileges you immediately snitched to Uncle Alastor because you did NOT want to deal with the whole dumpster fire that was the Vees.
Now Alastor wasn't naive about the Vee's... Affections towards you, again they sent you a concerning amount of things, but he didn't do anything because you're an adult and you can make your own decisions.
But when you come to him saying that Valentino sent you erotica and made you uncomfortable?
Well you are his one and only niece! The only family he has down here! The least he can do is squish a little purple moth for you!
You wonder if restraining orders were a thing in hell and if they'd work.
Now the TV guy and fashionista surprisingly were NOT completely thrown off by their buddy's screams getting absolutely blasted on Alastor's radio broadcast, they kept their simping to a more low-key level with only flowers getting shipped to you from Velvette and weird love emails from Vox.
Vox for some reason thinks asking Alastor for your hand in MARRIAGE, was a good idea.
It was NOT.
He's lucky he didn't meet the same fate as Valentino.
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Maybe one day you'd choose one of the remaining Vee's or both if you're into that, or maybe neither.
But for now you'd use their infatuation with you to your advantage.
Good evening folks! I hope you enjoyed and I think it's probably obvious at this point that Velvette is my favorite out of the Vee's.
Am I ever going to write a fic where Valentino isn't injured or straight up dead in some way? No, no I'm not.
Anyways as always thank you for tuning in!
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puella-1n-somn10 · 6 months
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⚔️Puella Magi Madoka Magica x Pokemon Sword/Shield: Hop and his Witch Form⚔️
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Word count w/o intro: 11,703
Look, I know that the Traveler from Genshin won that poll, but...if I may be honest, I am not ready for what concept I had for them to completely topple apart all thanks to a single shred of lore being aimed at my head at mach speed. Trust me, fellas, I saw the roller coaster that is the Fontaine chapter; if shit is that crazy while we are halfway through the main story, then I dread the revelations that will befall us all when SNEZHNAYA rolls around-!
With all that being said...welcome back, ladies, gents, and those who have casted the dreaded concept of gender out of their lives! For those who are unaware, we are here today to witness what would happen if I were to take the worldbuilding of Puella Magi Madoka Magica and apply them to other media. Today's unfortunate guest for today is none other than the goat himself, Hop!
...Not funny? Ah, alright-
Yes, I am aware that Hop's reputation amongst the fanbase is...controversial at best. Generally speaking, I've noticed that the negative image of this character was formed by the fans prematurely judging him based on his initial lines of dialogue, passionate (which is often mischaracterized as cheerful) attitude, and, I shit you all not, animations (which is more of a fault caused by tight release schedules and the developers being rushed than that of the character himself). From these alone, he tends to be placed on tiers lower than the fucking Gen 6 rivals (no hate towards them, promise, I just wish they were fleshed out more)- which proves to me that not only are those types of Pokemon fans purely visual beings, but that media literacy is dead, rotting, and its tombstone has been Hyper Beamed to Hell and back-
BUT we're not here to rant now, aren't we? My...personal, burning distaste towards those who call him a Hau clone aside, we are here to dissect his character- in more literal ways than one! If I may be honest, this analysis post thinly disguised as a silly, crossover ficlet was created as a thought and writing exercise for myself, and it was quite fun, if I must admit! So I hope from the bottom of my heart that you guys find as much joy in Hop's pain and suffering as I did while writing it!
Just a few quick warnings, this post will contain mentions of child neglect and favoritism, implications of social ostracization and public shaming, and, I cannot stress this enough, mentions of self destruction/S-H/su-c-de. If any of these themes are too triggering, especially that last one, please, please click away! I am being serious here- take the utmost care, and be safe!
Of course, spoilers for Madoka Magica, Magia Record (Anime ver.), and Pokemon SWSH are right up ahead! If I may be honest, I haven't touched upon the DLCs yet, so spoilers regarding them will be minimal at most. There will also be shades of PostwickShipping (Hop <3 Gloria) present, so if that isn't your cup of tea, I sincerely apologize.
It would also be fitting to play some Decretum on the side, too, especially when we get to the despair bit- God damn, he and Sayaka need to be buddies.
-The Wish, Possible Powers, and Soul Gem-
"Before we ever started out on this journey… I remember watching Lee on the telly. He was like a bright star, so strong I could hardly bear to look right at him. But now, I can tell just how strong he really is… And what he's got that I haven't…"
Now, I could go the easy way and say that he'd wish to be as great as Leon- to become as strong as the champion and equally undefeatable, but, honestly, not only does this feel cheap, it feels so...unlike Hop as a character. He doesn't just want to defeat Leon- he wants to prove his worth and make his mark as a trainer. Hop, like the rest of Galar, idolizes his brother- so much so that he copied his strategies and every move; a mistake that had gotten him to lose the fight in the Circhester stadium even after facing off against so many trials and tribulations-
After all, as Bede said it in his own...brutish way, if people looked down on Hop, they will do the same to Leon - the man who Hop looks up to as not just an older sibling, but as a symbol- as an unshakable LEGEND, and not just as a human being -. So if the perception of the man who Hop saw as a hero was to shake all thanks to him...it'd be quite devastating, to say the least. It was this possibility that hit him the most- where his worth and identity came into question.
Hop may dislike losing - a sentiment that grows stronger every time you defeat him -, but what he fears even more is disappointing others; lowering his and his brother's worth in their eyes. He wanted to be number #1 because it was expected of him to do so, by himself, by the public, and, when you think about it, even by his family - whether consciously or not -...
After all, just look at his home- do you see any pictures of Hop around? Left and right you find memorabilia and trophies belonging to Leon, but how much mementos of Hop can you find? Whether or not he was aware of it, Hop craved not just the glory of his brother, but also the validation and positive attention.
This was his path in life- no, this was his destiny, as he'd put it; to become as strong as his hero and receive that blazing torch after living in his shadow for so long. To live up to his splendor, to inspire others to get up and take a stance, and to make something out of himself. His brother was a hero- so it makes sense to imitate someone as amazing and strong as him.
So, after analyzing his character for a bit, his wish could go along the lines of wanting to be by his brother's side, or, more appropriately, to make an impact on the world and the lives of others like he did. After all, we are assuming that he made the contract a bit before his constant losses began to fuck with him; he had confidence in his abilities at least during the beginning, and was certain that he was going to emerge from the final battle victorious.
The powers resulting from this wish could go in a lot of different ways; after all, wishing to make an impact is quite abstract. It isn't like he wished for someone else to get healed or to win on a lottery; so trying to make powers based on that would be tricky. My best guess is that his powers are associated with memories and legacies, which, once more, also fits in really well with how he documented and tried to mimic Leon's strategies and actions.
Now, before we focus on his soul gem and witness it crumble along with his self-esteem, we're going to take a good look at his attire upon transformation into his Magical Boy form- an aspect that, regrettably, I've forgotten to cover back while I was analyzing Medic. Now, this part may be a little unclear to some upon first reviewing the designs present in PMMM, but a pattern is there- and one of the most common reasons behind a magi's design is the intent behind their wish and their desires before or after taking on the contract. In order to prove my point, I'm gonna list some examples:
Sayaka Miki is a knight in shining armor; she wanted to uphold the ideal of a magical girl and fight for what's right
Homura Akemi's outfit is rather...funerary, for lack of a better term; she made her wish as result of her losing Madoka, and had more or less doomed herself to watching the demise of her beloved over and over again
Nagisa's outfit looks like an everyday, ordinary outfit for someone her age; she craved a normal life where she was able to be just like the other kids around her- not having to worry about living in a dump and caring for an unstable parent
Iroha's design invokes the idea of a ranger or even a mercenary; she is dedicated to finding her sister at what cost, even if most of the evidence (or lack there-of) pointed towards Ui not existing in the first place
Being in the spotlight of someone else's life, looking up to his brother, and making said champion an example on how he should lead his life...I think a stereotypical, legendary hero might do it; the main protagonist of tales like Beowulf or even your everyday JRPGs. Hop often made references to him 'weaving his own legend', so this would make perfect sense!
Speaking of-
Regarding his soul gem's shape, simple- upon transformation, it would look just like a small flame placed on his solar plexus like a brooch or button. Comparisons to Leon's charizard aside, it is a simple and straightforward symbol representing his personality; passionate, competitive, hot-headed, and bright- but all flames are prone to dying out one way or another. Hop's association with fire is also presented to us in-canon in his second league card, with him pulling off Leon's signature pose as flames wildly danced around him.
This also brings the idea of him burning himself away to fit into his ideal of a champion to mind, or literally burning himself out. A raging fire ready to render all that is in its path into ash- including himself.
The emblem on the middle of its egg form is a little harder for me to interpret fully. I could go with the easy way and say that it's probably the same as its form upon his Puer Magi transformation, but we all know that my perfectionist ass would not just simply settle with that. The options on our hands are as follows;
The easy option, the Hop flower (symbolizing how becoming a professor is his true calling in life)
A coat of arms (royalty themes- also, a pun on Eternatus' eternamax form, coat of ARMS, heheh)
A spiral (symbol of futility, continuation, cycles, and a downward spiral)
A coat of arms WITH a spiral in the middle (look at the above two points)
A flag (him wishing to create his own legend, and how he was initially a foot ahead of us during the start of our journey together)
A windmill (...we'll get to that, but let's assume it's because of Postwick for now- I personally prefer this one)
A shield with two crossed swords (again, royalty and hero themes)
As for its color, here is where things get interesting; I already spoke about how most soul gems correspond with the eye color of their respective magi, since "eyes are the windows to a person's soul", so a brilliant gold would fit both with this unwritten rule and thematically. However, then I got thinking- Red is also an applicable color, right? It fits his personality, and would clash really well with the cool purples and blues...until I realized that not only is red already going to be present as a sort of secondary (if not primary) color to go along with the existing cool palette in mind, but the added gold highlights would embolden it and make sure this design really pops.
Besides, making red a central color for his magi outfit also adds in to the idea of him still mimicking Leon, whose associated colors are purple, gold, and, of course, the reds of his cape! We aren't completely sure as to how much control a magi has over the outfit they'll don upon transformation, but we do know that Madoka actually designed her own magical clothing, so some input from the magi themselves, whether consciously or not, does contribute to the matter. This would also make a cute little homage to his champion outfit in Pokemon Masters EX!
One last point before we get to the part you've all been waiting for, we have to look at his weapon; yes, his powers are probably associated with memories or even perception, but, according to my research, one's weapon doesn't necessarily have to be tied to the wish. As a matter of fact, aside from Mami's ribbons (symbolizing her being tied to the life of a magical girl and her capturing others in this web of malice whether consciously or not- a literal lifeline), most of the cast's weapons are unrelated to the wishes made, and, like the aforementioned outfits, are more tied to the magi's intents or even personalities;
Nagisa's is a trumpet that blows out bubbles. She wanted her mother to hear her, but she's only ever able to let out little squeaks; the dichotomy between her desire to be acknowledged and wanting to be a decent daughter to a horrible person like her mother.
Homura's is a shield; she wishes to protect Madoka, but a shield alone cannot deflect everything threatening her sweet rose. There's also the symbolism of her hiding behind a shield, both as Moemura (shy and reserved) and Cool Homu (covering her emotions with an aloof exterior); in both cases, she's hiding herself away from the world.
Sayaka's is a cutlass sword. Go figure.
I am not completely sure on Madoka's; she dislikes brutal fighting, so it would make sense for her to use a long-range weapon that she's able to use to snipe enemies from a safe-enough distance. I also heard that a bow and arrow have some sort of significance in Christian lore, but, to be frank, I am not completely sure about this; this section requires further study.
Again, I gotta thank @bluethepearldiver for saving my butt here and on the upcoming natures section! According to them, since I had already removed swords and shields from the equation in order to make space for both Gloria and Victor, a polearm type of weapon would fit him the most! In their own, brilliant words, it is "representing how unattainable his goal ultimately is", and, in my opinion, it is a mid-range weapon- when utilized correctly, Hop would be able to conquer battles that would require either long or short ranged attacks to clear! Also, personally, it brings the image of a sheep herder to mind.
As for the specific type of polearm, that one would require a lot more creativity, but, since Hop comes from Postwick, a weapon that originates from Europe would be fitting. After thinking about it, I believe his weapon is probably a Halberd, due to how it can pierce, chop, or slash depending on the situation. It would also symbolize poor, bright-eyed Hop constantly changing his strategies and teams in order to catch up to us- to finally match us in strength. Every time we met him, he would have different strategies, a different team, a different outlook- he tried every viable, effective strategy, tearing apart the aspects of himself that were deemed roadblocks, pushing himself until he was burning himself way too brightly for his own good, yet...
-Descent Into Despair-
He lost. He had lost yet again, hasn't he?
His grip on the pokeball was shaky. The eyes of the crowd fixated on him as the last of his pokemon fell to the ground. Frozen air filled his lungs; his eyes felt like they were turned to stone, as did the veins in his arms.
The whispers grew louder; the crowd's collective judgement was being passed from one attendant to another. His teeth were about to shatter from the pressure around him alone. Not even Melony's concerns were registered on his mind; all the words around him amalgamated into a brute cacophony that choked all the will and rationality out of him.
His heart was on fire. His lips were dried as he stared at the nothingness before him. It was so hard to continue standing up- fucking impossible to focus on anything but this blunder forged by his own hands- which he now sees as nothing but useless vestiges. His heart was a war drum in the midst of conflict; beating as though the drummer's life was on the line if they were to dare and drop the pace. How he wanted to gouge his own eyes out and rip those ears out...
"Pitiful."
What on Earth was he missing?
He tried to change his strategies, he really did. The sad look on his pokemon’s eyes broke him every time, but they just couldn’t be of good help…he had to be a better trainer.
That’s what good trainers do, right? They make sure their teams were optimal. After all, strategy came first; that was what he learned from all these battles that long moved his heart.
"Foolish."
Another loss.
He looked down at his final, fallen comrade, not taking his shaking hands into account. Was it the cold? The stress? The sheer disbelief of what was before him?
Or was it frustration? A poison seeping between his clenched teeth- ready to curse out himself and direct his anger to the world? Readying him to pound against the earth beneath him until his knuckles were mangled and bloody?
No...no, this can't be it. He had to push himself further- he had to be better. Not a single Pokemon of his would listen to someone as fragile as he was; he had to make an example out of himself if he had to be a strong leader- a hero to them...
"Hypocrite."
Wooloo...
You promised, didn't you?
He stifled his own sobs. Oh, how could you have done this to them, Hop? They were the closest thing you had to a childhood friend! They were right by your side to the very end! All you had to do was to keep their head up, tell them it wasn't their fault, and that you would still enter the league together if you both focused! All you had to do was stay strong-
But you couldn't. You just had to up and leave them; cast them to the dirt where you dragged his good name through.
In the end, he couldn't even uphold that.
"Pathetic."
Over and over...over and over, he had repeated this fruitless, pitiful endeavor- all to no avail.
Finding himself floating adrift, Hop feels as though his very existence was slowly slipping from his fingers; becoming one with the very void surrounding him. He couldn't even feel his limbs, much less his face.
No matter how much he had stretched himself so thin, it just wouldn't work. The evidence was there before him, for all of Galar to see- his true rival and his brother on that field together, the latter holding the other's hand and raising it up in the air...that no matter what he did, all the sacrifices he had made, it was all up there in the air like smoke. His dreams, hopes, and ambitions- gone with what shine in his eyes that were left.
Oh, little sheep...do you not realize that you have tangled yourself within this spider web- the very definition of insanity?
"Worthless."
He's tired.
With each loss, it got a lot harder for him to get up and walk away.
His legs were shaking, and not just due to the harsh winds around him. The winds were picking up their pace, but the eyes, the eyes, the eyes-
Why must you insist on further embarrassing yourself, young man? Can't you tell when it's the time for you to just drop everything and move on with something better for everyone else's sake?
You're just embarrassing yourself at this point- nothing more than a clown attracting disrespect and shame like flies to a rotting carcass much like yourself.
...
Yeah...
What if...it was him?
He couldn't take the watchful gazes of the crowded streets anymore. Oh, how he wanted to hide away in the corners of the world- render his own face into nothing but a crimson pulp just so their judgemental glares, mocking smiles, and whispers would finally leave him alone and hollow.
His heart was racing- his veins were on fire, and his arms were about to burst.
It was too much... Upon stumbling upon a silent, empty, dirty alleyway, he slumped onto his knees as he shook from both the cold and pressure of all the bottled up frustrations in him. At long last, the waterworks finally broke out. Only the night sky and howling winds were his current company; doing little to distract him from his pained heartbeats and dried up throat.
He couldn't hold on to his victories, no matter how feeble or small. It didn't matter what he did or how much he tried, all that he's tried holding on to will just slip away from his fingers, like the breaths of fresh, cold air escaping him; inhaling just enough as to not allow him to pass out on the spot, but it was only that much.
The sound of metal clanging on the ground escaped his ears. It was only when he was finally slumped on the ground that he had noticed the fading luminescence just before his reach. Even as his body shook from the mental strain and the cold, he still recognized the jewel that was on the dirtied ground. Hands shaking, he slowly picked up the once brilliant object...
Through jittering teeth, he just couldn't help but sob whilst instinctively smiling; the sound coming out like a sort of soft giggle...
Hahahah...oh, don't tell him- don't tell him he couldn't...
What a mockery- look at him, everyone! Not only had he failed the challenges before him, but, oh, this poor damn pest- he couldn't even look after his own damn soul gem! The very thing he had traded away what was left of his identity outside of the league for- and even then, with his wish, it only made sure that his mistakes would return to him in even stronger, more merciless manners. Was it due to him being unable to focus on both perfecting his strategies and his duties as a puer magi?
For all Hop cared at that moment, it was just another sign of his pathetic, useless existence. Worthlessness- no, he was way beneath that; he had failed. He had failed, he had failed, he had failed, he lost, he had motherfucking lost.
Answer yourself this, Hop- Do tell how you expected to come so far like this! How you have managed to shamble and shuffle through the league challenge like the worm you are, with nothing but another's achievements to your name- and you couldn't even take good care of that!
"...Useless..."
Hop shakily breathed out.
"Hah...if only I wasn't born so useless..."
His grip on both sides of his head grew tighter. As he gritted his teeth and his eyes twitched, one last thought flashed in his mind-
"There's...nowhere left for me..."
"Everyone else is moving on without someone...some pest like I am..."
With all the air that was left in his lungs, Hop roared into the night and unleashed all the grief in his heart. His anguished wail was interrupted by a sudden crash, and all that was left were the howling, autumnal winds...
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.
.
Word of the contestants' escalating behaviors grew amongst the people of Galar.
At first, it manifested as deepened anxieties; competitors being so overwhelmed by the upcoming events that it caused them to hyperventilate, shake uncontrollably in between sobs and unintelligible screams, or, at worst, completely melt down; faces reddened by tears as they were unable to remove themselves from the ground due to the paralyzing nervousness and hysteria. Initially, these incidents were brushed off as being related to the individuals' worries over the nature of the Gym Challenge, on top of the resulting trauma caused by the Darkest Day; even after the region was granted another chance at seeing the bright, blue skies, tensions were still at an all-time high, so, at the time, this appeared to have been the most rational conclusion.
It was when they've descended into thrashing bitterness and violence, however, that concern was finally demanded and raised- and, along with them, a whole basket of questions that craved all the answers in the world; anything to make sense of what was unraveling. Many a stadium had to close down - some even in the midst of these breakouts - for investigation purposes in order to get to the bottom of this anomaly.
Before long, rumors began to spread amongst the Galarian public- both on the streets and on social media; ranging from a contamination of sorts, to possible side effects of the Darkest Day that the current chairman was uninformed of. In the end, one by one, the majority of the gym leaders had to step forward admit that they knew as much as the rest did regarding the matter, but that did little to help stop the creation and spread of conspiracy theories, and they soon devolved into a competition of its own; on whose hypothesis is the most click-worthy and attention-grabbing.
Nothing was stacking up; everything had been tested - the water, the air, the soil, and especially the power spots -, the stadiums were inspected from top to bottom, and even the gym leaders were interviewed; it all came back negative.
The chairman himself had gone dark.
In the midst of the mass hysteria, right everyone's noses, the range of whatever was influencing these stadiums, the...being that has sending all these people into these frenzies...was growing.
Violent breakouts and missing persons reports spiked without ever showing a sign of slowing down. Nay, not even the gym leaders were spared- with Bea finally coming to her senses while Allister tried to subdue her and not hurt the rest around her, and Milo's herd of Wooloo going completely berserk and in complete panic not unlike the contestants and their own pokemon.
It was at its assumed worst when it had finally reached Postwick Town. Most of Galar had succumbed to what was engulfing it with its malice and twisted hopes, and, according to theorists, they doubted it would stop there. The people residing in the Isle of Armor and Crown Tundra were given the order to lock down and cease all functions until further information's released, in the vain hopes of preventing the spread of its influence.
And then-
Silence.
Everything around them was completely dim, with nothing but small flickers of flame and their own eyes' adaptation to help traverse them through what became of the region; a dim, cold land with ashy skies overhead, overrun with scared wildlife and...monsters- beasts you have never seen the likes of before. Perhaps staying still while you're able to recognize Galar while you could would be the wisest choice; stray far enough, and the world around you will fade, shift, and turn, until you find yourself not outdoors anymore, but in a dingy, suffocating hallway filled with cracks and little to no light-
and, soon enough, you will realize that you are not alone.
To the most fortunate (or unlucky, depending on the perspective), the sight of the missing people was there for them to see; lined up for their next battles and subsequent executions. Days of being trapped, fought, beaten up, and isolated in pain did a number on their psyches, and that is without mentioning the existing effects that have already engulfed Galar; plunging them into insanity.
By the braver and most informed few, most of the missing people have currently been accounted for- most, had it not been for the unfortunate casualties resulting from...all that has been unfolding around them, whether they were still yet to be found, were done in by beasts swarming through these twisting tunnels, condemned by whatever's waiting for them at the center of this cursed maze, or...just couldn't take it anymore, is still up in the air. Those whose statuses have not yet been confirmed included the younger brother of the former champion himself- who, quite possibly, may have been one of the earliest victims, if the timeline was to serve them right-
Oh, but if only they knew better- that the bright-eyed, enthusiastic Hop was right back to where it all started; watching the competition from atop the stage, waiting for the next match to begin. The empty husk that was once "Hop" was silent; slumped to the back to his seat with his dull, milky eyes staring into the distance, as the crowds roared once the hero and his new challenger entered the fray.
Yes...yes! Cheer for him! ONLY HIM!
Shaking from the cold and the tension of her surroundings, Gloria's attention darted from the armored monstrosity to her unconscious rival amongst the masses. His colors all but completely desaturated- it was nothing short of a miracle seeing his body still somewhat intact, though his sunken face and sloughing skin - some even falling as soon as she grabbed on to him; revealing pale bone -...without thinking, the armored girl screamed.
Contrasting Gloria's priority shifting from grabbing on to Hop's corpse and make a break for it to taking down that thing who must have caused it, Leon was...silent. His heart sank as he fell on his knees- his eyes shook as he fixated on the monster before them. His blood ran ice cold; it was so hard to breathe without sobbing...
Gloria and the gym leaders who have finally located the arena - those who have and haven't contracted - deemed that being a monster- Hop's God damned murderer, but Leon knew better.
The gold hues that were pooling from what's assumed to be the monster's eyes were unmistakable.
His own little brother was right before him, waiting to fight him in the middle of this arena-
Just like how he had promised- like how he had always wished for...
-The Witch's Nature-
Ah, the most unpredictable section of this post- the one where yours truly is expected to agonize and sob over all the options before me. Character complexities are complex! Multiple reasons behind despair! Oh, how is your truly ever going to choose the perfect nature for a warlock that would not only encompass the magi's goals and history with only a few words, but one that would also feel fitting for a spooky being like a witch?!
Welp- once more, I have thank Blue for their brilliant input once more! They've decided that his nature would be Admiration, and, honestly, it's genius! It not only fits his overall character, goals, and what caused his sanity to go downhill with the brakes cut off, but it has the right amount of dissonance that the witches of PMMM are known for! Again, this has been your reminder to support them- c'mon, chop chop, that's an order.
Of course, nothing wrong with mentioning all the other, though scrapped, natures. Again, you're all free to reinterpret the warlock to your hearts' content, and if you do have any other suggestion that would fit, please let me know! I not only want to understand Hop's character better, but I do wish to improve my character-deciphering and writing skills. Once more, I encourage all sorts of fair criticism heading my way, and, with all that being said, here's the losers' club:
Reflective
Smitten
Idolizing/Idolization
Competitive (decided that this one might fit Nemona better if I ever got into ScaVio and made a witch for her. Later. Inshallah.)
Self-abandonment (look at the above, but with Bede instead)
Self-immolation
Guilty
To yearn/Yearning (again, Nemona)
-The Witch's Appearance-
"It's not enough! I've got to try harder! And harder and harder till no one's laughing!"
Alright, first thing's first, before we dive into ANYTHING, we need to touch upon Hop's self-image and how it transforms through the course of the game. From the beginning, he is just so confident in his abilities and goals; it wasn't just a desire, it's a goal- he will beat Leon! He will become champion! One day, he's going to be on that stage; he WILL fight Leon, and he WILL beat him- just we wait!
And 'wait' we didn't.
For all his talk about creating his own legend, of taking up the mantle, we have done nothing but drag his face through the dirt without failure.
The more we beat that poor fella up, the more...desperate he became, and it gets cranked up to 11 once Bede humiliated him; calling him a waste of space, and that all he is doing is tainting his brother's legacy by trying, so it would be best for all parties involved he should just stop that. If he just stopped trying at all. If he just gave up at once. He still tries to maintain the spirit of friendly competition between the main character and himself, but the constant humiliation has been getting to him, and the talons that are digging in to his mind are sharp.
It is then that we finally realize that the once-confident trainer who initially accompanied us is no more. This hatred towards himself only grew with time, and, even when he had reintegrated Wooloo/Dubwool into his team, his self-worth was still nigh-non existent; he dared not accompany us during even the post-game story, believing that he would just be slowing us all down, and how we would fare and be better without someone like him around.
In Hop's eyes, he was a burden; a waste of space, and, no matter how much he tried to fight it, those words would persistently repeat in his mind. His constant defeats didn't help, either, whether it was by our or any other trainer's hands-
Hell, it can be argued that Hop's earlier confidence and passion were nothing but "fronts"; he had always cheered Leon on and idealized (dare I say even worshiped) him to no end, but, aside from the promise that he would, one day, defeat his brother and become a champion, what other positive things did he say about himself? What other dreams did he hold? He owed so much of his own knowledge about Pokemon battles to Leon, after all. This can be seen in the third episode of Pokemon: Twilight Wings, if we choose to interpret Wooloo's actions as reflective of Hop's- trying to be something it is not, and, ultimately, causing it to stray far from "home".
He wanted to be the hero of his own story. That's all he wished for. Instead, we've shoved him into the sidelines- face first on the dirt, without even realizing our strengths.
History repeats once more- the tale of Leon and Sonia all over again.
The image of a knight, a warrior, a hero is definitely a strong base to start it all off. The ideal knight in shining armor, he who stands up for everything right- the unbeatable champion of the people. Not just a person to look up to, but a symbol- that's all he wanted to become; just like how he saw his brother.
When he realized that his current tactics didn't work, everything had to go out the window. We aren't saying this lightly- everything. His plans, his . He had to change everything about himself- until he realized that the problem weren't his teams or his plans...it was him. It has always been his fault- he was just weak, nothing more than a pathetic worm.
The armor is scraping every fiber of his being. No matter what, he still cannot attain the strength and glory of a champion- so he has to keep doing this; break and melt himself. It isn't right, it hurts, but he deserves that pain- he deserves the agony and so much worse for the sin of his existence.
But it's not enough. It's not enough, and it will never be enough. Flaming hot, red daggers will forever pierce through his flesh and skin; melting and reshaping him not necessarily just to fit his desired goal, but as punishment.
It doesn't matter, though. It doesn't change his sheer, fucking incompetence. He'd bash himself against the wall, turn his knuckles bloody, and have his howls of torment be drowned out by his observers' whispers and harsh judgements, but it doesn't change the fact that he deserved every second of it. He had to keep molding himself, he had to suffer, he had to pay for being such a pest to everyone's lives and for being so weak...
No matter how much he tried, it doesn't change the truth that he is no damn hero; he is here as a prisoner, present to repent for his crimes of his pathetic existence...
Oh, yeah. Futility is not just a present theme, but we are running to the HILLS with it.
Next up, we look at his actions- the "spice" and depth this brings to his warlock's design.
Let's retrace our steps a bit and look at Hop's character before and after the main story; as soon as we boot up the game for the first time, there we see Hop being so excited over his brother finally coming home- he was practically shaking and jumping by the news of it alone! He just couldn't wait to see him again, much less what he must have brought back with him- and, when he laid his eyes on the starters and chose his, he was over the moon and the sun; this was the beginning of his legacy! Ah, even his own mother said that he had to learn some patience.
Compare and contrast to his attitude in postgame- he's a lot more mellowed out, but that can be better described as him finally being burnt out. He had nowhere to go, no goal to attain, and not a single strength to his name. Bede and Marnie are training to become gym leaders, Leon's the new chairman of the Galar league, Sonia is on the way to become the new regional professor, but Hop? There was nothing left for him. There isn't anything he was able to do that others could do even better- all that was left for him was to rot in the fields, forgotten and cast away like the object of shame he was.
"I don't know how much I can really help... If I come along, I might just end up slowing the rest of you down..."
I've already established how the warlock might be imprisoned in a sense; all to symbolize how he must have felt during his downfall and the lengths he went through in order to become someone worthy of becoming champion- of sharing his brother's legacy, but we should also take how he first started off into account. We already have the pain, but where is the tragedy in it all? The downfall of his confidence? The fall of Hop, the once bright-eyed, confident, and proud young man? How could we symbolize the face that we have flicked his passion and convictions away with the push of our buttons?
Passion...glory...destruction...hotheadedness...Lee...Charizard...
"Fire- and lots of it!"
Yeah, this should not come off as a surprise - given how I have already mentioned it dozens of times already -, but, hey, if Ophelia has a lot of flames in her design to symbolize the tragic end of her family and her own hotheadedness, then I can't see why the same cannot be applicable to our uncrowned prince of Galar. Truth be told, I think the fire is burning at him to this day; as I already mentioned, he is in a constant state of melting down and reshaping himself to no end to fit an ideal that is so far away from him, and what better way to do so than by forcing himself to endure these flames to no end- not just to burn away all his mistakes, but to subject himself to what rage and disappointment he believes Leon must be feeling? You cannot ask for a more fitting punishment, no? Quite ironic as well, if you'd ask me.
Plus, as a warlock, he wants the people to cheer for him- only him! What better way is there to grab their attention and love than by becoming the brightest thing on the battlefield?! Yes, it's all worth it in the end, hearing the people of Galar scream just for him alone- oh, he couldn't be happier! That is all he desires! If we thought Oktavia craved attention, think again.
Speaking of lengths he went through to become someone he is not, let's talk about him changing his teams; this is his point of transformation as a character, where the cracks in his confidence begin to grow alongside his desperation. At this stage, Hop was willing to make any sacrifice necessary to meet that goal of his- if he fails, not only were his dreams on the line, but so was Leon's reputation. The only constant between these teams is the starter Leon gave him- with teary eyes and a regretful heart, he had damned the experiences and memories he shared with the 'mons he caught along the way, for all that mattered at that moment, all that was worth keeping, was the one thing that held any sort of direct connection to his future glory; the very gift his brother gave him. It should be worth it though, right? He's only becoming better, becoming stronger, becoming the best trainer he could be-
Isn't that right, Wooloo?
Oh, man, wooloo. What kind of Hop-centric design would this be if I didn't incorporate this cute little sheep in some form or another? If not the sheer GUILT he must be feeling? Since I already covered how the warlock would be forever unsatisfied with his form, let us talk about the promise he made with Wooloo, and how him breaking it must be haunting him. Just up and abandoning them, his lifelong partner pokemon must hate him for such a cowardly decision- it should hate him; he had backed out of such an important vow between them, and implied that it was their fault that he was unable to reach his goals. Ultimately, it is his guilt and self-hatred that got him here; whenever he wasn't melting down and reforging himself, he was always fighting for the audience's attention- a whole herd of sheep who constantly demand a spectacular show. It felt right for his first partner pokemon to judge him, after all- he must be condemned for his disloyalty...
Building upon the last point- since Wooloo, his very first pokemon, was also removed from the team, this would translate beautifully into him removing parts of himself to fit that perfect mold, and what better way than to add in sheep elements to his design? The warlock having hooves as dark as obsidian for feet? Broken horns that might be mistaken for parts of his armor? Heck, even the gnarly skeletal system resulting from us combining that of a human's and a sheep's? While I am not too sure about what exactly is going on underneath his helmet, I will just assume that at least its base form resembles a mutilated black sheep's face, because of, well, Hop seeing himself as the black sheep of the family. Combined with his halberd, which I am certain would carry on from his last form to this one, this would bring the idea of a twisted sheep herder of sorts, on top of the existing themes of sacrifice that are already associated with cattle in multiple religions.
Of course, we can't go wrong with referencing him copying Leon's tactics in battle and said worship! This, too, will be a source of pain to his warlock; not only does his armor resemble draconic scales (again, Charizard), but the base of his helmet would bear the shape of Leon's beard. This also ties in to the above point of him trying to reshape his form to that of the champion's in order to achieve prestige and victory by following in his hero's footsteps, but its ultimate purpose in the end is the further erasure his form and himself; all that made Hop 'Hop'. He is constantly slicing away at his being just to fit that mold....
Yes, he also gets to keep the cape; much like his halberd, I can't see why this element of his magical boy form would not get carried over here, as it also assists with establishing the theme and desire to be like a big shot like his brother. Its red coloring would also be of nice contrast to the ashen grey or deep darkness of his armor, although it is tattered and not as magnificent as it used to be in his eyes. The armor already boosts the idea of a hero, but, combined with all of the elements from above and Hop himself going down the slippery slope, this monster right here invokes the idea of a fallen hero; bright-eyed protagonists who have become jaded over the course of their journeys or have decided to outright give up on their ideals and goals- some even opting to join the opposing side of the narrative outright.
I should also mention his inability to look at Leon in the face and how he didn't want negative attention to be drawn towards him in spite of Hop's desire to face off against his brother- some eye trauma, maybe? Would the mementos of Leon in his barrier bring him pain? Or...would the warlock be unable to see past the "glory" of the champion and his dreams? How his mistakes are blinding him? Maybe what he saw was so bright, so brilliant, that it blinded him to everything else; turning his eyes into burning pools of blood resembling molten steel?
Now, we calculate his karmic potential, his emotional volatility, and how they contribute to his warlock's strength.
While I was first working on this post, I thought that maybe he would have cracked after he had lost against the gym leader of Circhester Stadium - Melony -; after all, he must have been devastated, with all these eyes watching him as his final pokemon fell, but then I remembered two key details-
His self-esteem did not get any better by the end of the game's main storyline. In fact, it was at its lowest during postgame- and he even brought a comically large shovel to dig wayyyyy deeper, courtesy of Sordward and Shielbert!
His karmic potential not only stems from him being the champion's little brother, but his role in stopping the second Darkest Day.
So, in a way, that loss would be considered to be more of a catalyst for his despair rather than the straw that broke the camel's back, not unlike Sayaka learning the truth behind the soul gems or Hitomi's confession to Kyosuke. He may have brought Dubwool back to his party, he may have appeared okay-ish after we've defeated him in the semi-finals, he may have helped us save the day, but his internal conflict didn't dissolve just like that- you cannot erase all these years of constant comparisons, long-standing dreams, horrible impostor syndrome, and such an inferiority complex just like that with the snap of one's fingers.
Truth be told, he was supposed to finally give in after said semi-finals, but, out of urgency, he held on just for a little while- for just enough time to assist us with finding Leon and stopping Rose's plans. Now that everything was said and done - now that everything was laid to rest -, the eyes just wouldn't stop staring at him, the whispers didn't cease, and Hop...he was tired- he was oh so tired. Falling on his shaky legs and the harsh thoughts in his heads still not slowing down, Hop had finally closed his eyes and gave out his final farewell...
Also, Sordward and Shielbert will die by my hands for making his self esteem go further down the toilet in postgame, I swear to Allah-
From all that, we can see that not only are legends, prophecies, and destinies HUGE themes for when it comes to the design of his barrier, but that his warlock is gonna be powerful. Now, I don't wanna be redundant by saying that he, too, would be as tough as Walpurgisnacht (we've already done that with Medic, though, after thinking about it, he'd be more comparable to Hyades Daybreak), but saving an entire region is, putting it lightly, a huge feat, and that's without us touching upon his supposed connection with the legendary pokemon, one of Galar's heroes of myth, Zacian. In between being tied to almost a hundred destinies (Madoka) and saving the entirety of France (Tart), putting an end to the apocalypse - The Darkest Day - has got to be up there.
I know this sounds like a sort of repetition on my end, but remember what Homura said back during episode 9; "from here on, for every person (one) has saved, (they) will curse another". So, while Medic got his powers thanks of a combination of his own karma and how he had fused 8 other souls into him, Hop's karma was all his. In short, by this logic, Galar is beyond fucked.
Oh, and, y'know, the whole deal with him being the champion's little brother and Gloria's childhood friend. With all that in mind, bro's warlock is not just stupidly powerful, but outright broken. Not at Ultimate!Kriemhild levels, but that's still not good news in of itself, isn't it?
In the end, whether he had completely given up after he had lost to Melony or during some time between the events of the main story and postgame is up to you and your interpretation of Hop as a character. For the sake of this segment alone, I will just go with the idea that, if he despairs before the climax of the main story, his warlock would be a formidable foe, but not yet a world-ending threat like either Walpurgisnacht or Crépuscule de La Reine.
For comparison's sake (and to paint a clearer picture), I'd say that he could be as powerful as Gisela, if not moreso. From the PSP games, we can see how resilient and tough that witch is - so much so that she is tied to both Mami's and Kyoko's backstories -, so surpassing her strength is still a commendable feat. Much like his depiction in the section above, the warlock would still be capable of cursing many stadiums at once and cause such intense panic in order to take the league challenge down with him by making the contestants to go completely berserk, and, if he so wishes, he could render an entire village into ash.
However, if you guys wouldn't mind, I'll still be running with the idea that, thanks to the player, Bede, Sordward, Shieldbert, his family, and Galar's corrupted celebrity culture, the entire region has yet another apocalyptic event to go through, and only Arceus could save them now- basically what happens during the above despair segment. Good job, everyone! Enjoy listening to Grass Skirt Chase while ya could! /j
Now that we got the basic picture of the warlock down, let's cut to the chase and dive in to his barrier. I've had a lot of fun with this one, so buckle up!
As I already mentioned in my previous Medic post, a witch's labyrinth is stated to be the "mental landscape of the magi before they turned into a witch". From analyzing the barriers of the Holy Quintet and the other existing witches from the original anime, I've already deduced that they must be tied to either core memories, coping mechanisms, or desires-
HOWEVER,
A more simplistic take on all that would be "a place that rubs salt on the magi's/witch's wounds"; makes more sense, no? Candeloro is forever alone in her little tea party, Charlotte is in a silent conversation with another doll- unable to speak about what's on her mind, and, for goodness' sake, Ophelia's barrier is underwater. It is just logical to see that a labyrinth is designed to keep the witch miserable; specifically made to remind them of their own shortcomings, mistakes, broken hopes and dreams, and all that they've lost by the act of contracting with an uncaring trickster like Kyubey.
Unsurprisingly, with this idea in mind, I think the barrier would be a twisted version of a stadium, lit up by raging fire. The audience is present; their eyes ever-staring at you as their yells echo throughout the arena. You just know that your actions and failures will be recorded for future generations to see, mock, and spit at- after all, you are now trapped in a legend that is yet to be completed! Yes, even the style of your surroundings looks like it could fit right in an old storybook or any of the murals present across the region. Not too far away from this labyrinth's center, you are able to find multiple cages housing the victims he had captured; fighters worthy enough for him to test his skills on or put on a spectacle for all the audience to see.
In the middle of the battlefield, in the shadow of a large statue behind him, lies the warlock; broken, battered, burnt, and practically melting, but his duty remains clear as daylight- bound to his punishment and his own selfish desires, it has become his goal to defeat you before the audience. It is his destiny to be bound to this stage, having to pay for the sin of his existence.
The trinkets of Leon - or a silhouette that resembles him - that surrounded him in his own house are also present; after all, they are tied to his motivation, admiration towards Lee, and his wish to become champion. Even until now, the warlock and his familiars take good care of them, though he despises the reflection cast by them.
I should also make a quiiiiiiick note Pokemon Masters EX; you see, upon activating a character's sync move, they are displayed in front of locations present in the canon of Pokemon known as their "mindscapes", and, fellas, upon finding out that said places are significant to each person's story and life one way or another, I've realized that I have stumbled upon a hail Mary for PMMM/Pokemon crossover fanatics out there, myself included. Of course, I wouldn't recommend using these mindscapes alone as a sort of easy way to make barriers, but they do act as nifty, optional blueprints or spices to make those labyrinths look more colorful or representative of these characters.
When it comes to Hop, his mindscape, unsurprisingly, depicts Postwick Town. The location doesn't change when he becomes a Neo Champion, with the only alterations made to the artwork is that it is now nighttime and the presence of small flickers of flames dancing around; burning as brightly as the stars above - one more point towards fire being a persistent theme here -. Perhaps if you've gained enough of an upper hand and luck in battle to grant you some time to look at the ground, you can see that there's specks of white paint that faded away with time; the surface still resembling that of a soccer field's to this day, not unlike the one in his backyard.
To reflect his mental state and emotions of worthlessness and futility prior to him crossing over the point of no return, well, here's where the fun and pain come in-
The halls of the labyrinth are...suffocating; as soon as you enter, you realize that the area is only wide enough for a single person to traverse through. It's so dark, too; only the oil lamps and unmaintained lanterns present provide any form of luminescence, and even then, you have to be careful; one small misstep, and it is you who will be up in flames.
You also get the sinking feeling that you are being watched through the cracks and holes of suffocating halls; a feeling exemplified by the sounds of rain and howling winds just outside. The oil lamps do nothing to alleviate the bone-biting cold around you- the warmth provided is minimal at best. Not too far away, peculiarly enough, you can hear what must sound like...a radio; the details of what is being said is unclear, but the language is actually understandable if you happen to know Arabic. Through static and compressed sounds, you can hear that the voice on the radio is...reciting a nasheed; one chanting about the light of honor, victory, and divine heroism in the face of adversity, with determination being a repeated theme peppered in. No matter which hallway you turn towards, you cannot seem to get any closer to the source of the sound.
As you make your way to the center of the barrier, in spite of the lack of windows present, you decide to be a little brave and take a peak through the torn cloth or any of the cracks on the wall; you find that not only are you not at all far away from the hallway you've already visited, but that you appear to be going down a spiral- but this can't be possible! It is like you've done nothing but repeating the same steps over and over, only for your determination and desires to bring you down...
The winds have gotten louder - clashing with the noise present in the halls -, and your legs feel so tired...
You cannot take it anymore. You finally deduce that, if you want to face off against the warlock right then and there, then you better take a nosedive; break through the halls and descend further and further until you reach the arena, and face off against a furious gladiator- angered and heartbroken by the prospect of you destroying these mementos. How could you?! Such an act is beyond heinous in his eyes! You are no honorable opponent like the rest of them- nay, he is here to strike you down, to restore and clear the champion's name...
To rub salt on his wound a little more, let's add in more references to the people who affected Hop's life- those who have sent him down a spiral, whether consciously or not.
At the end of some of these hallways, you can find shrines that are clearly meant for worship; moreso than the memorabilia that are already present. A large statue rests in the middle of it, surrounded by worn pictures depicting a silhouette of a man and damaged, worn-out books and scrolls. The scent of smoke is present, alongside ashes on the ground; the warlock or one of his familiars must have been near the shrine not too long ago.
Some parts of the halls, namely what items made of organic material like cloth, are clearly damaged- whether caused by burns, cuts, or, most strangely of all, moths. The bothersome nature of these little creatures not only represent Bede tearing apart at his self-worth, but also his reliance on Chairman Rose- such a depiction may symbolize his actions and words' effects on Hop's self-image and life, but it also acts as a subconscious, final "fuck you" to white-haired youth; at the end of the day, Bede is just an unwanted, insignificant insect who gravitates towards any source of light while causing great disaster to others, even at the detriment of his own life.
...but...isn't that what you have cursed yourself into, Hop? Having to prove yourself to someone who is so far away for all eternity? To mimic them? All for a part of their attention and approval- much less a sliver?
They have both locked themselves in a cycle of attempting to appease to someone in their lives at the detriment of their own health...
Upon his defeat, once the crowd cheers at his defeat, the walls will crumble, and the debris will crush and pierce the warlock - whether he was still alive or dead by then - as you finally get a look at the outside world... Rolling hills that span for miles greet your vision as the grey, rainy skies conceal the afternoon sunlight- but it still is brighter than the suffocating arena and its connected halls. Not too far away, you are able to spot a windmill, still going on for what seems like several vicious years, if its poor state was any sign. Ah, if not for the chaos around you, the flickering silhouettes of round sheep in the distance and the smell of grass and rain really makes it feel like you're right back home...back in Postwick...
To end all this on a high note, let's touch upon his witch's kiss/warlock's whisper/evil cutie mark. Thankfully, I got it as soon as I could; one of those old emblems that acted as tickets to a gladiator match depicting a simplified sheep's head! To add some freakiness, the sheep face is stripped to the bone on one half, and glaring right at the person looking at it on the other. A circle of hop flowers surround the disfigured head, and the emblem itself appears to be half-melting.
-Witch Card-
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Sayf Al-Muharib. The Gladiator warlock, whose nature is admiration. The light of an old hero's glory - eternally out of his reach - had caused his sight to turn into searing, painful ichor; blinding him to all but his own failures and shortcomings. As penance for the sin of his existence and weakness, the warlock is in a constant state of breaking down, melting, and reforging himself whilst in preparation for his next battle in the hopes of searing away all the flaws in him - all that lead him to his incriminating mistakes - and achieve a perfect form. He is unable to recognize the being beneath his armor anymore, nor could he remember the vision he had prior to his entrancement.
The cries and cheers of his familiars herald another chance for the warlock to prove himself and absolve the legacy of his hero once and for all- but, no matter what, the crowd is never satisfied, and neither will he ever feel proud of himself for the victory. He will never be an inch closer to the light of legend he craves so badly. To emerge from the battlefield victorious, one must not lose sight of their promise in the midst of battle.
(His name is inspired by Sayf bin Omar/سيف بن عمر, a Muslim historian and compiler. It should also be of note that the reliability of Sayf's ahadeeth have been a point of controversy to this day. When translated, the warlock's full name means "The warrior's sword".)
(The fact that his first name literally means "sword" bears two meanings depending on the protagonist- if it's Gloria, then it reflects how he tags along with and respects her though he is seen as incomplete without her presence in the eyes of the rest; while if it's Victor, then it's the clash between their friendly rivalry and his growing respect towards him. Either way, it also symbolizes how the MC stole his spotlight and destiny, and how they broke him and his dream apart throughout their journey.)
(Also, Homura fits the criteria needed to defeat him, let's GOOOOOOO-)
-Familiars-
Batel (plural form: Abatil). The gladiator warlock's minion, whose duty is preservation. A scholar at heart, the warlock analyzes the actions of the hero of legend to learn from them for future endeavors. Prioritizing the opulence and safety of these treasures, these small followers of his are on constant lookout for anything that would posses a danger to these sacred masterpieces while archiving the feats of the champion for future re-readings.
Unfortunately, their master despises the reflection cast on the memorabilia; forever reminding him of what he will never become. He will hang his head down in their presence out of both respect and shame, lest the sight of the failure he had become shatter what was left of his original heart once more.
(Symbolizing Hop's knowledge of battling in general; jokes about type advantages aside, he was always analyzing Lee's battles and was eager to use his knowledge during battles. It's also one of the key reasons as to why he chose to become a professor in the end.)
(Yes, the warlock himself also does his job at chronicling the feats of Leon - even going as far as to imitate them to this day -, but not only are the Batels there to assist him (I mean, they are his familiars), but they also sort of symbolize how...exaggerated Leon's achievements can get, especially in the eyes of others- including Hop's.)
(Its name is a play on words in Arabic; "Batal/بطل" means "Hero", but "Batil/باطل" can either mean "of no good use" or "useless". Leon was the hero, his hero, his ideal- Hop, on the other hand, was just dead weight to him.)
(Another note to add is that Hop's uniform number is 189, which, when read in Japanese, can mean "Hiyaku"; leaping. While the warlock himself would be struggling to walk with these hooves of his and his mutilated form melting and meshing with the armor, I can also see that the Abatil's only way of moving around is through leaping, since they would probably have only one leg to stand on. Ah, I love the smell of symbolism in the morning.)
-
Al-Daja (plural form: Al-Dajij). The gladiator warlock's minion, whose duty is to uphold competition. Ever-so excited for the upcoming battle, the crowd will explode into applauds whenever a new victim enters the stadium and comes face-to-face with their master. Their never-ceasing cheers always demand for more, and, not wanting their wide, unblinking eyes to stare at all his faults and mistakes, the warlock complies.
The warlock will try and not show a sign of degradation to his opponent- he'll hold out until they sing songs of his glory and his story gets passed down from generation to generation. However, these minions will often times become so entranced with the relics and spectacle that they would forget the identity of their master altogether, and even start cheering for the new challenger once the warlock is thrown into a corner.
(Based on Hop's personal drive - to become as glorious and powerful as the unbeatable champion himself -, how the losses have been affecting him, and him not wanting what negative attention he garnered along the way to affect Leon directly. The audience can be quite the chatterboxes; all it takes is one small piece of gossip for everything to go out of control. Its name, ألضجة, means "The Noise".)
(They also symbolize how everyone else already act around him all thanks to his brother's legacy- looking down on him for every little mistake he makes, while each victory earns him another comparison to Leon. He doesn't want to disappoint them- not the crowds, not his friends, not his family, and not himself, so he carries on with his useless endeavor; constantly chasing after a dream that is so far from his reach. The fact that this familiar is prone to forgetting who they are serving exactly is indicative of Hop forgetting himself.)
-Inspirations-
In-canon:
Sacrificing aspects of himself just to come close to that aforementioned ideal; going as far as to remove his lifelong friend, Wooloo, from his team
Trophies and other memorabilia of his brother being found in their home- almost no mementos of Hop being found there
Corviknight, one of the 'mons he gigantamaxes upon the release of the DLCs (the other is his starter pokemon, which I will assume is Scorbunny)
The fact that he is evidently Arab/Muslim-coded, especially in the French translation of the games where his name is Nabil (fun fact, Raihan is also an already-Arab name)
The third episode of Pokemon: Twilight Wings
Dubwool being able to learn a fuck ton of self-destructive moves
The statue of the Hero of Galar in Wyndon (Motostoke in the anime)
Outside Influences:
The Sealed Vessel from Hollow Knight and their theme; actually, wanna bet that he is trapped in a similar manner as they were if we were to assume that his power is equal to Isabeau's? That he has been gathering power from the mass hysteria resulting from his influence over the stadiums?
How sheep, lambs, and goats are associated with sacrifice, slaughter, deceit, and rituals (to tie the aforementioned wooloo/dubwool and self-abandonment points mentioned earlier)
The golden calf
The fact that some gladiators were prisoners and had to fight and put on a spectacle in order to regain their freedom
nana825763's "My house walk-through"
That one segment from Valle Verde part 2 which starts at around the 3:58 mark
The Devil Within by Digital Daggers (not my dumb ass imagining an animatic in which Bede is this warlock's first victim)
Cause of my Death by Itoki Hana
Dolus Vel Pedica, Area Strigae, and Delusio Summa from the Madoka Magica PSP game
The concept of living armor, but with added body horror
-Closing Statements-
Phew! Well, thank GOD this didn't take as much time as Medic's warlock did! (unless if we count my sick days- then yeah, it took just as much) To say that this was a WILD ride would be the understatement of the century!
I wanted to nail the vibe the witches had before we, as the audience, learned the truth about their origins - that he must have been born out of competition and the impostor syndrome that comes with such high-stakes contests -, and the idea that he, Sayf, was vengeful not just towards the leagues and the people who had beaten Hop while he was down, but also towards himself. I am unsure of whether or not I've completely succeeded on that front, but, if you guys have better ideas and/or criticisms, please do let me know! I aim to improve my writing in general and my abilities to break down character motivations and symbolize their actions in more abstract manners.
Being Bede is suffering; his ass is getting haunted on one hand, and Leon is able to smell his fear from a mile away on the other. He's not fucking winning this, lads :'3
...With all that being said, there is one shred of information that I've been withholding until now- the final piece of the puzzle that, once we step back, paints a rather grim image of what would occur if we were to combine the worlds of Pokemon SWSH and PMMM...
Outside the league challenge, the story of SWSH tackles the eldritch origins of Dynamax/Gigantamax; that the very vessels that allowed the people of Galar to utilize it must come from the remains of the invading Pokemon, Eternatus. Its initial awakening from its 17,000 year slumber heralded the event known as the Darkest Day; in which it had absorbed so much of Galar's energy that it caused its form to change and a dark storm to envelope the region, causing the pokemon to dynamax/gigantamax and go berserk. With the emergence of said storm come what is now known as "Galar Particles"; other sources of energy that, after the defeat of this threat, were utilized by humans for generations to come; rebuilding Galar from the ground up to the region we know today.
Now, a theme that both medias apparently share here from this fact alone is "energy". In a sense, you could say that Eternatus itself acts very much like a living grief seed; absorbing "impurities" in order for its true form to "hatch" and release boundless amounts of concentrated energy that can be used in a useful manner later down the line.
So....what gives? Why is Eternatus such a key element to this concept if the focus of this post is Hop? What does that creature beyond out comprehension have to do with the one we currently have in our hands right now?
See, not only does Hop's karmic potential stem from his destiny to stop the second Darkest Day alongside the main character, but his brother was also tasked by Chairman Rose with capturing the beast and delivering it to him; this was planned out in order to solve Galar's energy crisis that was going to unfold in the next several years or so, and, though it was a hard decision, the Chairman believed that now was a better time than never. The future of Galar, in his eyes, relied on him...
Obviously, Rose's entire plan fell flat on its face, so it was up to us, our bestie, and a very gud boi an' gorl (Pokedex entries confirm Zacian is Zamazenta's older sister) to save an entire region's ass from a wicked, unfathomable threat once more, but what if things went a little differently in this timeline? Obviously, one of the heroes who was supposed to assist/had assisted Gloria fell into despair and became the next world-ending threat she's going to have to put down, but what if this wasn't the only deviation from the norm here?
After all, Rose wasn't the only one who had sought out the means to prevent and remedy a sort of entropy issue at any cost necessary...
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rsedits9420 · 1 year
Text
Feelings pt 2
Mark Estapa x Reader
Pt 1
Here’s pt 2!
Mark
*A day later*
Today’s the day of the damn date. She slept at her dorm last night so she could get ready. I don’t know how I’m the only one who can see that he’s not right for her. Many could say hockey players are the ultimate fuck boys but wait until you see Will. At every party, he has 2 girls glued to his side. I’m pretty sure he was doing this when he had a girlfriend too. Strike one. Not loyal. He’s also one of the most self-centered individuals ever. During a press conference, he claimed his team couldn’t have done what they did without him. He’s only a shooting guard who at max scores 8 points a game. I knew guys in high school who dropped more points than that. He doesn't even give his team credit either. Strike 2. He’s self-centered. I bet if I did some digging I would find out more trust me. The fact that pisses me off more is how oblivious y/n is about him and his actions. Has nobody told her about him? If not I plan to. That’s why I’m getting out of bed at 6 am and rushing to the other side of the quad to get to her dorm. She might not love me, but I sure as hell love her. I can’t and won’t see her get hurt. Not when she would never deserve it. Y/n wouldn’t kill a fly. She hates to talk about people behind their backs, and she’s always there to be a friend to anyone. For example, last year when Bords and his girl spilt because of his signing with San Jóse, y/n stayed by his side throughout the whole thing. If there’s one thing she hates and it’s when people are sad. Like she would rather feel all the pain in the world herself than someone else. This is why I’m afraid. What if Will is trying to take advantage of her kindness? She’s too sweet to understand how one could do that, but trust me, I know. High school was a daily battle. All the guys coming up to be asking if they could “tap that after I was done”. I mean what the hell. How could they say that shit about her. She’s so pure and genuine to ever be talked about in that manner. One day I had enough. I socked a kid right in his left eye. Buddy had a mark there for about a month and a half. I’m not a violent guy. Well except for on the ice. One could say I’m easily provoked. I’d have to agree. Even though I do find joy in being the one to provoke the other team, if you talk about her or touch my goalie you're going down. No exceptions.
I arrive at her dorm room and lightly knock on the door. The door opens and I’m met with a half-asleep y/n. “Stops what are you doing here? It’s 7 am.” She yawns out the last part of her statement. “Well I wanted to talk to you, but I knew you don’t function without coffee so here’s this.” I hand her her usual coffee order and she looks up at me in awe. “You know you're the best right?” She asks me. Of course, I know. If there’s anything I can do it’s makes the girl standing in front of me happy. And I plan to do that until the day that I die. She leads me into her dorm and I notice she is alone. “ where’s your roommate y/n/n?” Apparently, her roommate has a “no jock” rule. Like she won’t let y/n have me or the boys over at all. “She’s at her parent's house for like a week.” She plops right onto her bed before she says,” So eStopy what do I owe the pleasure?” Damn here it goes I guess. “Ok, I know you're not going to like this but I have to say it. Don’t go on the date today. Please. He’s not the one for you. I have no clue why nobody has told you but he’s not loyal or selfless like you are. He won’t treat you right. I can’t see you get hurt. It would kill me. So, please. Please. Listen to what I’m telling you. Don’t go.” I say the last part is practically winey and desperate. Her soft gaze looks straight into my eyes. Then she says,” Mark! Wait. Why? How? You can’t keep doing this. You can’t protect me forever. Yes, I’m your best friend but Will won’t change that. And do you even know him? Or are you going based on rumors? Mark, I never thought I would see you stoop this low. Listen I love you, but I’m my own person. You did this in high school. Whenever David asked me out you went and basically beat him up on the ice. I’m going no if and or buts.” Now she’s pissed. “Y/n-“ she cuts me off by saying,” Mark if you can’t stand by MY decision then leave. It’s just one date. You know I’m smart. If I see a red flag, I’ll call it off. Promise.” she sticks out her pinky for me to lock mine with her. She really takes her pinky promise to heart. So I do it. “Ok go. But I swear if he hurts you I’ll hurt him ten times worse.” She rolls her eyes and then leans her head on me. “Thank you for looking out for me tho. You're a great friend.” There’s that word again. Friend. Damn all I want is to be more than that. But I’m being a pussy and can’t admit my feelings. She has no clue and I’d like to keep it that way. Because I can’t lose her.
Y/n
After the stunt, Mark pulled today I’ve been on high alert. He’s never lied to me. He’s also someone I trust my life with. But at the same time, what if he’s wrong? Will could be the best thing to happen to me. That’s why I’m currently sitting in a cafe a couple of blocks away from campus waiting for Will.
Finally, I hear the cafe door open and Will appears. He starts to walk up to me and says,” Hey! So glad you agreed to do this! How’ve you been?” I quickly reply with,” It was great thanks for asking!” Okay so maybe I’m just overthinking it this will be fine.
As I’m walking home from the date I’m ecstatic. It was great. He’s so sweet and kind, I honestly think he might be a long-term type of thing. We talked about our families, school, and so much more. He was so caring too. It felt like he cared about every little thing I said. At the end of the date, we decided to go on an actual date at a fancy restaurant this Friday. And to be honest I’m really excited. We will see how it goes!
*Friday night after their date*
I’m rushing to Mark’s dorm to fill him in on what just happened. Holy shit. I can’t even comprehend what just happened. Will was paying the check when all of a sudden he said,” Listen I know it’s only the second date, but I really like you. Like really. Uh so here it goes. Do you wanna be like my girlfriend?” I was in shock. And I bet my face was as red as a tomato. “Yeah, sure I’d love that.” That was my response. I know. It sucked but to be honest I was incredibly happy, embarrassed, and confused at the same time so cut me some slack. I have no clue how Mark is going to react but I’m hoping for the best.
I lightly knock on his door and stop. “Listen to what I have to tell you!” I can’t hold in the excitement. As I sit down at his desk I start to go over the whole date. I notice a change in his face but I chose to ignore it. Then I say,” he asked me to be his girlfriend! Can you believe it Mark! He wants me!” Mark’s face slowly turns from a smile to a frown. “You ok Stops?” He nods and says,” Yes y/n I’m okay. I’m happy for you.” What the fuck. That was a bullshit answer if I’ve ever heard one. “Mark, no seriously, what's wrong?” I say again in a demanding tone. “ Nothing I’m fine. I just don’t know what to say?” What?!?! What the hell does that mean? “Are you not happy for me?” He then looks at me and plasters a smile to say,” I am y/n. I am.” That’s all it takes. I speed up the conversation trying to get it to end. “Well, I should probably get to bed. Good night Mark.” He responds with a faint goodnight and I leave. The whole way home I’m questioning what his problem was. I honestly thought he’d be happy for me. I’ve been there for him always. And he couldn’t even try to be there for me? Why?
*About two weeks later*
I’ve been hanging out with Will about every day for the past week. The more times I hang out with him the more I start to like him. We are just getting back from our lunch date when we are met with the hockey boys all leaving their dorms. Luke and Mack come to chirp at Will, while I'm looking for him. I spot Ethan First and all I see is a disappointed look on his face while he’s shaking his head. Who knows what that means? I continue to look for him. My eyes search for Mark, but I’m met with him staring straight at his feet trying to ignore the fact I was ever here. We haven’t talked since the day Will and I started dating. It was honestly on both of us. I canceled on Sunday movie night because Will wanted me to watch one of his old high school games. He hasn’t been bothered to call or even text me. It feels like we are drifting. I hate to say it but that’s almost exactly what I believe is happening. He’s my best friend, and also someone I’d never think I would lose. We were each other lifelines. We would be friends till we were old and gray. That’s how this was supposed to work out. Yet look at what happened.
Pt 3
Pt 4
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pokemon-my-beloved · 6 months
Text
so i played the dlc
and it was. alright? but while i was playing the teal mask, i was writing my thoughts down so i could make a little mini-review, and then i just. never posted it. so here i am now, with my thoughts from ALL of the dlc, but i have to separate it because i said. So Much. this post has teal mask stuff, i'll reblog with indigo disk thoughts
spoilers under the cut!
are my besties coming with me on this field trip. please please please
blueberry academy is in UNOVA????? holy shit i am IMMEDIATELY more interested and invested in the indigo disk
have my boy there. i am Manifesting him
listen briar i’m sure your intentions are pure and all probably but you can’t go into the great crater of paldea okay i say this as someone who has been there. leave my bestie alone
i don’t think my besties are coming with me :( one sec i gotta go say goodbye to them
okay nemona please try not to burn the academy to the ground, penny sunlight is necessary to your survival please leave your room at some point, mabosstiff please take care of arven while i’m gone
GOD i love these kids okay i’m going
i am. aware of the violet book. why
the paranormal???? oh so she’s a dork
and heath’s descendant alright that’s fine i’m no longer as concerned as I was before
OH MY GOD IS SHE SHOWING ME THE TERAPAGOS PAGE UNCENSORED????
SHE IS
i am…….. wary……. of terapagos, but continue
she wants to find it? bestie
okay so the other people on the trip are randos. three of them. this feels like salt in the wound, just a lil bit
this kid is NOT my “travel buddy” i have exactly ONE buddy and he is in paldea >:(
i’m not going to let that go i am NOT going to get over that
oh it’s my replacement besties or whatever. i’m not going to get as attached to them I’m saying this now because i know it to be true. unless these kids have daddy issues out the ass i will not get attached
okay so carmine is nemona 2 electric boogaloo except i like nemona more
sorry for continuing to play it up i just Love Them So Much
oh so we’re just going to. i was going to say block off the wholeass road but this is scarvi so. guess not
oh so this is just nemona if she was pacifica northwest huh
only one of them was giving me grief but i’m gonna hit yes anyways cause carmine is already getting on my nerves
man this is exactly what i said about arven huh. unless she pulls out a sick dog and daddy issues i’m not impressed and even then i'm not impressed cause like. quit copying homework from two characters who i already like more
mossui town is a very pokeani coded name i think
oh god which of these stupid fucking loser kids am i gonna be working with
nevermind it’s probably gonna be kieran
his hair is really fucking stupid I cannot see his nose at all it grates on me more the more I look at it. not what i would call good character design
hair’s not quite as egregious on carmine but still kind of a problem
WOAHHHHHH THE NURSE JOY RESDESIGN POG
this is literally jessie. like it’s just jessie i can’t fucking be convinced otherwise
i mean. define cool? but yeah sure this kid’s growing on me it’s cool
ohhhhh cool as in 3v1 cool. yeah alright that is cool
KIERAN NO WHY DID YOU SAY THE S-WORD
HOW DID YOU EVOLVE YOUR POKEMON SO FAST
probably because they were already like level 58 or whatever
okay so we are GUARANTEED going to get trapped in here or whatever since ogerpon was outside but i’m sure i can bust us out so i’m not really worried tbh
“you’re a sweet kid kieran” vs “wHEN CAN I MOVE IN” GHALKSJGKLASJGLKAJSG
yeah okay i’ll go to the festival of masks sure seems fun
ugh YOU
fuckin. i don’t get a mask i guess. absolutely fantastic (sarcastic)
yeah sure i’ll battle whatever
“stop using supereffective moves” she says, like that will stop me
oh is poltchageist/sistcha a divergent evolution of the polteageist line? nice!
ogerpon’s stUPID FUCKING PONCHO JAKSJKSJGLKSJG
“say chansey” is cute but i’m unsure why cheese wouldn’t work like cheese is very much in this game
oh, thank you for the candy apple kieran!
what the fuck does OUSTIN mean, game. that is NOT a word, what the fuck
wait. it is. fuck
what if i just. didn’t go after ogerpon AJKLGSJGLK
okay well i can’t leave the festival or do anything else IN the festival so
this bitch is GOING to punch me in the face i guarantee it jvaslkgjlags
apparently everyone just thinks its a kid. wild
oh that’s a cute cute CUTE face
ogerpon’s adorable. alright
I SOMEHOW DON’T THINK IT’S A KID, CARMINE
kieran i would NEVER make fun of you what the fuck
carmine you are SO mean all the time i feel like jet at the end of the sonic riders dub
oh did the loyal three attack and ogerpon defended the village. makes sense for pokemon tbh
“passed down by word of mouth” just write it down, man
OH SHIT THE MASKS HAVE TERASTAL GEMS IN THEM FUCK
i’m sorry kieran i was specifically instructed to lie to you okay listen
i guess i’m not going to the festival of masks tonight? damn okay then
okay yeah this is pretty as fuck but i’ve been to area zero and i did expect it to look like this, carmine
oh! a mitotic! hi! what the fuck!
well that’s convenient huh. i’m not getting in the fucking pool, i guess
oh briar hi! are these terastal crystals? cause i’m pretty sure they are
water? eh close enough
oh he’s gonna summon the loyal three isn’t he. that’s probably not good
kieran in our defense we were specifically instructed to not tell you this like did you miss that part i know you were eavesdropping
if nothing else it seems like he’s gaining some self confidence from all this it seems like
oh they were stuck in the monument? that’s… a bit weird, but i’m sure it’s fine
sure wish someone who could understand pokemon was here (hint hint) THAT SURE WOULD BE HELPFUL HUH (HINT HINT)
sorry i just. i Miss him
guess i’ve gotta fight the loyal three now. bet
ooh triple battle?
nevermind. this blows
you’re trying to recreate the crater crew and it isn’t working i’m not as attached to these two
oh i just noticed that the flying taxi has noctowls instead of squakabilly in kitakami that’s cool!
ogerpon was running in lil circles around me while i wrote that this bitch cute as hell
sorry for having protagonist syndrome kieran
HE GOT SO BIG
oh god HE ATE THE HERBA MYSTICA NOOOOOO adhsfjhfsfh
ogerpon cheering us on is adorable, oh my god
oh did kieran tell the village the truth i’m pretty sure he did
yup he did
i think this battle with kieran is the last of the story
oh damn he just COLLAPSED
okay do i battle ogerpon or does he just get in a ball
battle it is ig!
oh its poncho changes with its mask thats cool!
OH FUCK HE TERASTILLIZES WITH HIS MASKS JUST AUTOMATICALLY
“memories of adventuring with you grant ogerpon strength” THAT’S CUTE AS HELL WHAT THE FUCK
“memories of a partner from long long ago grant ogerpon strength” HEY WHAT THE FUCK OW
OH SHE’S A GIRL SHIT SORRY OGERPON DIDN’T MEAN TO MISGENDER YOU
her name WAS gonna be kieran but change of plans this is majora now
majora might be a guy actually i do not have a clue. i’m sure it’s fine
again. sorry for having protagonist syndrome kieran but i can’t do shit about it
carmine my home is in another country i understand what you’re going for but i live in paldea
WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING IN THE GREAT CRATER. I’M GOING HOME FUCK ALL OF YOU
kieran what the FUCK is happening bud
oh god he’s pulling a paulo from pokemas isn’t he goddammit
did terapagos get to him. is he gonna get professor turo’d
guess that’s it! i’ll be back for this shit when the indigo disk drops ig
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manogirl · 11 months
Text
bad buddy fandom getting-to-know-you meme!
Thank you for this lovely meme, @fiercynn. I will happily participate.
"since there are both recent newcomers to bbs fandom and people like me who are new to bbs tumblr, i thought i'd create a getting-to-know-you meme for people to introduce themselves if they want! all questions are optional
note: i consider "fanworks" to pretty much everything people create related to a fandom, including but not limited to meta/analysis/discussion, gifs, fanvids/edits/fancams, filk, fanart, fanfic, fan food, fan crafts, etc. please include this note with the meme unless you have a different definition!"
name and whatever you want to share about yourself Y'all can find my real name with little to no digging but I'm Mano and I'm a queer neurodivergent middle-aged cislady who lives in the US with my pupper (who you can see on my blog) Lillie Bear/Lovebug/Buggy (depending on my mood) and my husband because yep queer gals sometimes marry people who don't share their sex/gender. I'm a former public librarian. I'm a radical fat lady (rad fat acceptance/rad fat pol), an enthusiastic happy auntie, and just generally living my most joyful life.
when did you watch bad buddy/join the fandom? I wish I knew when I first watched. It was definitely after April 22, 2022 (when I watched Heartstopper for the first time). So probably early May 2022, because I think I activated iQiyi for KP on May 27, and I had watched BBS by then. In terms of the fandom, well...Deepa was my first fandom interaction, and I think she followed me on Twitter because of a fic I wrote. I'm private on Twitter though, so my presence in the fandom is (still) very small.
favorite ship(s) Oh PatPran all the way every day. I am a...sucker for a good canon ship. I almost exclusively read/interact with canon ships. Can't explain it, it's just what my brain wants.
favorite character(s) Pat. Hands down, every day of the week and twice on Sunday and with no hesitation. But I also admit to a very deep fascination with Dissaya. And I like Uncle Tong.
favorite episode(s) episode 5 because kiss scene on roof so good. But I also love episode 11, even though I find it deeply sad.
favorite scene(s) I mean, rooftop kiss. But my second favorite scene, and a scene I screenshot constantly just for shits and giggles, is the scene in episode 11, after their night together, when Pat comes out of the bedroom and onto the balcony, and Pran senses him and looks up at Pat with a fucking WIDE-ASS clear as a bell smile of joy. Because Pat knows at that moment, and Pran has already known, that the honeymoon has to end. But Pat also knows that smiling boy is his. And it's all in Pat's face when he looks down at Pran.
one thing you would change about the show if you could great question. And so many of my first thoughts about this I've just summarily rejected in the last 45 seconds of thinking. I don't know, man. I am stumped.
what are your some of your favorite fanworks made by other people? This is not in any way a reflection on the quality of the fanfic out there, but I am a one-and-done kinda gal with fanfic. I love you all, and I love all your fics, believe you me. That I don't have titles here isn't a reflection on you. It's me! I do have some fave edits though; there is something about watching these vids, set to this music that just...MY HEART.
youtube
youtube
There are two other vids that I watch on the regular, by Twitter user @yoonglesismydad. One is set to Jab Se Tujhe Hai Jaana and the other is Tum Hi Ho. I have watched (and cried) to the Tum Hi Ho one five million times.
(if you create fanworks) what are your favorite fanworks that you’ve made? I already mentioned my Dissaya fascination, and this is my piece about Dissaya and Pran after Singapore.
a song that makes you think of bbs (the ones in the show don’t count lol) I have two. 'Fall' by Ben&Ben just..............
youtube
Fuck I love this song so much.
youtube
I mostly think of this as a song for Pran. I know it's from another piece of romance media but who cares this is Pran's song for Pat. Prove me wrong.
idk anything else you want us to know? Bad Buddy changed my life. You should read "This is Not a Book about Benedict Cumberbatch" to begin to understand how and why. But no seriously, I think of my life as BEFORE BBS and AFTER BBS and yep, I'm happier than I've ever been.
In terms of tagging, I don't know that I can tag anyone that @fiercynn hasn't tagged. Play along if you want! I would love to see y'all's BBS thoughts!
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le-scenariste · 10 months
Note
13, 14, 18, 19, 38 🥸 (sorry if some have been answered whoops)
13) Favourite ship and why?
HMMMMMM I WONDER (it's PatCap). God I fucking love those two and the kinda rivals (to lovers) thing they got going on. And the way they show different forms of leadership. They're the same but they're different and AAAAAAAAAA
14) Least favourite ship and why? (Please be nice though!)
I think Kitty/Thomas. If Kitty wasn't portrayed as childish and kinda naive and shit then I wouldn't care but idk...always just kinda seems off to me. (and also CapVers but mainly cuz it's overrated) Like...I know Kitty isn't an actual child but idk. It very lowkey gives me same vibez as "WeLl TecHnIcAlLy tHeY'Re 3000 yEars OlD". Yeah she is an adult but just...idk it just kinda weirds me out a bit. Maybe it's a me problem but
18) What is your favourite Ghosts fanfiction?
okay so this is really hard because on one hand Seb you're fuckin amazing but on the other...you know what you did. BUT OOT IS SO GOOD EVEN THO AAAAAAAAA. But also @ghosts-of-love holy fuck you're writing is amazing and I adore (aha) your fics. I can't choose AAAAAAAAAAAAA. But Out Of Touch by @stop-saying-tootsie and Adored, LtF and TQATD are definitely the top of the list. Also, if you haven't read this PLEASE DO. I promise you nothing bad happens in Out Of Touch. OOT is filled with joy and whimsy :) there is no sarcasm in this at all (btw just to clarify, yeah that was all sarcastic. have fun!)
19) What is your favourite Ghosts fan art?
Oh fuck. I think one of my faves was Robin as a Pokemon trainer cuz i inspired it. Otherwise it's either gotta be this by @wattse or this by @kami-ships-it very beautiful artworks and great styles. Love the colours and textures.
38) It's your turn to pick a movie for film club! What are you watching?
:) :))) :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I am aboutta write a LOT :))))))))))))))))
OKAY SO, the first one that comes to mind is Handsome Devil. Would this essentially be emotional turmoil for Cap ? Absolutely yes but 1) I'd love to see him understand that times have changed and people are accepting of queerness and 2) it's a beautiful movie that I think all the ghosts could benefit from watching. Especially the Captain. It's about these two kids in an irish boarding school who form an unlikely friendship (Ned - outcast loner and Conor - rugby fiend loved by the school for his skills). PLEASE WATCH IT IF YOU HAVEN'T. Also the soundtrack for this movie is BEAUTIFUL and makes me go a lil insane every time I watch it. IT"S GOT ANDREW SCOTT AS A GAY ENGLISH TEACHER !!!
Otherwise, I'd also choose The Nice Guys. Fun detective buddy-cop movie and so far everyone I've showed it to has enjoyed it. I also think it'd start a really good discussion about sex work and the judicial system. Not necessarily in relation to each other but still. Fanny would definitely be shocked just at the opening scene but honestly, I think after some discussing she'd enjoy it too. Maybe. Julian definitely would. But it's fuckin hilarious and also heartwarming with the lil hint of found family.
OOH OR OCEAN'S 11 now there's some good found family with another stellar soundtrack. Or Knives Out. NOW THAT, Fanny would love. I think she'd like the twist of it not actually being about WHODUNNIT but if Marta can get away with it and then finding out THE OTHER twist. Although idk how she'd feel about the whole "family losing their inheritance" thing. Hmmm. Idk why Fanny's been the one I'm tryna impress here. I think cuz most of them would enjoy these without fuss but ya know...Fanny.
Okay, if i had to choose ONE :( it'd be Handsome Devil. I'd love to make the ghosts watch that and see who's crying by the end of it :) and see who's trying to be very indifferent about it *cough* cap *cough cough*
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rahorak-a · 1 year
Text
PSA : THE LE.ODI.A SHIP.
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It's been a while since I have touched upon this ship, let alone shipped it with anyone really, so let me make a somewhat detailed post explaining my stance on this ship.
I tend not to make it a secret that I don't ship Le.ona and Dia.na in canon. I never really have, because I find the nature of it extremely toxic. And not in the fun way. One, if not both of them, is actively trying to kill the other and I think it was a bullshit decision on Rito's side to make them basically canon, without removing that part of their lore. Because we now have a romanticized oppressor / oppressed ship on our hands.
I get that their sun / moon dynamic is very pleasing, to some more than others. And you won't see me harass others who DO ship them, never, ever. I won't tell others what they can or can't ship. So I really, really hope you will extend the same courtesy to me. Because I know full well how... vocal, this fandom can be. Therefore, I reiterate:
This is only my own opinion. I speak for myself, and no one else. The purpose of this post is for me to have it to point towards if / when people ask me about this, so I don't have to constantly repeat myself. It is not to shit on your ship. It is not to take the joy out of it for you. It isn't even about you. Now, without further ado, let's dive in.
As a Le.ona RPer, there's always been a certain pressure to ship them. I'm sure people didn't mean to, but I am not blind. I see how my numbers skyrocket when I post anything about them. I see the joy it brings to a lot of people. I see that, more than any other ship I've had, I get questions and such about them. And that is fine, because I know you mean well. And by all means, keep them coming. I am not shy to give my opinion on things.
But it is disheartening, as someone who loves their muse, to very often have her be... just, sort of expected to be with another character. I spoke with Jinx about this last night and, honestly? We agree that Le.ona feels kind of like a side character to Dia.na. Or maybe it is vice versa. But they feel ultimately so intertwined that, me, a rebel, wants desperately to break out of that. I want my muse to be her OWN character. Not someone's girlfriend. Not the villain in someone else's story. Her own. character.
And you know how much I love sun mom. I do not say this lightly. I want to give her the respect and attention she deserves. That is my primary concern. My secondary concern, is the aforementioned problematic nature of canon Le.odi.a. Perhaps I will expand upon that with time. For now, I think ( Or hope. ) You know what I mean.
Because I want to state very clearly that, I can see myself shipping Le.odi.a, despite this. The reason being that, while I disagree with them in canon, my Leona is not canon. And should the right Dia.na come along, I am willing to give things ago. My only two requirements are these:
My RP partner accepts my portrayal of Le.ona isn't canon, and that she is her own character.
My RP partner respects my other ships.
Quite simply, the same shit I ask of any of my other ship partners. I didn't spend 3 years writing a character to have my development for her disrespected by my own writing buddies, lmao. My Le.ona does not wish death on the Lu.nari, including Dia.na. It is possible for them to have had a romance, or almost romance, in the past. It is possible for them to have a romance ( Albeit a tragic one, given the other Solari's, and especially the elders', stance on things. ) going on so long as everyone involved are aware that their factions are at war, and it won't always be pretty. So long as their suffering isn't romanticized.
The take home messages here are the following:
Please send me questions about my ships, but be respectful about my character being her own woman in the process.
I don't ship canon Le.odi.a, but I can be convinced to ship them canon divergently.
Don't fucking bite me about this, I will bite you back.
Maybe one day my view on this will change, I cannot say. But for now, these are my two cents. Feel free to go ham in the replies below if you've something constructive to say!
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shortpplfedup · 2 years
Text
The Dream of Mantua Bad Buddy Episode 11
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These violent delights have violent ends And in their triumph die, like fire and powder, Which as they kiss consume: the sweetest honey Is loathsome in his own deliciousness And in the taste confounds the appetite: Therefore love moderately; long love doth so; Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow.
Well shit. The Romeo and Juliet AU continues with a successful elopement and flight to Mantua, but you can't ever really run from your problems. In this episode Pat and Pran enter a fairytale and try to stay there for as long as they can, but reality doesn't go away just because you want it to, and family proves harder than Pran thinks to let go of.
ROMEO AND JULIET ELOPE...
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Go, get thee to thy love, as was decreed, Ascend her chamber, hence and comfort her: But look thou stay not till the watch be set, For then thou canst not pass to Mantua; Where thou shalt live, till we can find a time To blaze your marriage, reconcile your friends, Beg pardon of the prince, and call thee back With twenty hundred thousand times more joy Than thou went'st forth in lamentation.
All the honeymoon talk really sealed it, because honeymoons by their very nature have to end eventually. But until then...how sweet they are. Pat and Pran are finally free, but only in their place outside of the world, their time outside of time, where they're just Pat and Pran and nothing else. And they do everything they want there. They eat and drink and make merry. They talk and kiss and make love. Pran finishes the song he wanted to write for Pat, finally can express all the things he feels for him deep inside, not just to Pat but to everybody listening. His confession and his song are beautiful and sad and joyous and heartbreaking, just like love can be, just like their love is. It's a lovely respite, a magical interlude.
But underneath it all is the understanding that they can't stay here in this fantasy forever. At some point they have to go home and deal with the mess they left behind. They both know it, but Pat can't face it. His disillusionment with his parents, with his father is so complete that he can't even talk about it, can't even think about it. So Pran lets him have as much time as he needs, just like Pat let him have with the bet they made on this selfsame beach. Because Pran knows what it is to have a parent break your heart, to have them not be able to accept your choices because of the choices they themselves have made. He's ahead of Pat on that journey, he's walked that whole path. But in the end he loves his mother, just like in the end Pat loves his father. Those are relationships they still want to keep (whether they SHOULD is a whole different conversation), and the only way to do that right now is to let their own relationship go.
...BUT THEY CAN'T ESCAPE
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Let me be ta'en, let me be put to death; I am content, so thou wilt have it so. I'll say yon grey is not the morning's eye, 'Tis but the pale reflex of Cynthia's brow; Nor that is not the lark, whose notes do beat The vaulty heaven so high above our heads: I have more care to stay than will to go: Come, death, and welcome! Juliet wills it so.
So a metaphorical double suicide it is, but not because of misunderstanding, but because they understand too well. It sucks. I can't deny my overwhelming feeling is one of disappointment. It feels like in the end their parents won, and that feels completely defeating, because their parents are AWFUL, and WRONG and it shouldn't be like this. They shouldn't have to break because their parents can't bend. It just hurts in ways unimaginable. It's not fair that they do all the suffering and carry all the burden while everybody around them, the entire toxic environment of their parents and their friends, get to go on as though they are in the right and Pat and Pran were in the wrong for loving. You want it to be a misdirect SO BADLY, but I don't think it is. What the hell does the finale have in store for us?
Commentary from the Chorus
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Whew, people are gonna love this one right up until the previews for next week roll. I'm still processing, but the seeds were sown from the very beginning: Pran's consideration of everybody beyond himself and Pat's willingness to sacrifice.
Now I get why they made them younger than in the novel. If they were already graduated, it might not have come to this, they would have had options. But their futures aren't just about each other at this point, they have miles to go to grow up.
It's gonna be rough rewatching this one knowing what's coming.
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tarosin · 3 years
Text
the great adventures of y/n tommy jack and tubbo
requested: yes/no
an: part 4 of the great adventures series
pairing: platonic y/n/tommy/jack/tubbo
warning: cursing
It was the afternoon before your new adventure with your friends. you had no idea what to expect, however everyone else knew even ranboo, and he wasn’t even joining you all. you would be lying if you said you weren’t nervous, especially after hearing some of tommys plans for future uploads. tubbo had been trying to drop hints about what was going to happen. You honestly couldn’t tell if he was excited or nervous, either way you could tell it was going to be a once in a lifetime opportunity and boy were you excited. the sound of knocking pulled you from your thoughts.
“hi y/n! sorry for the unexpected visit, i tried to call you but it wouldn’t go through.”
“oh god sorry, tubbo, my phones on charge upstairs, ive just finished babysitting my friends twitch chat.”
“that’s okay, tommy wanted me to see if you want to stay the night as i can take you with me now. he said something about it saving time tomorrow as jack won’t have to go as far and we can get there earlier, i honestly just think he’s slightly nervous and wants to spend time with someone.”
“i’ve not prepared a bag or anything as i was just planning on grabbing everything i needed in the morning, but i’m down to go with you. i’ll pack a bag real quick, make yourself feel at home. you can stay down here or come upstairs with me.”
tubbo followed you upstairs, and helped you pick which outfits would be the best to wear for the trip. around 10 minutes later you finished packing your bag and turned around to see a very pale tubbo, dropping your bag to the floor you pulled a chair up to your bed sitting opposite him.
“you feeling okay tubs?”
“just nerves, I'll be alright, are you ready to go?”
“ready if you are!”
the journey to tommys was relatively quick, you spent it talking about group plans for when ranboo comes to the uk.
tubbo: almost here!
tommy: yes! want to stream for a bit later, just something small could do laugh and the stream ends. i’ll go talk to my mum now!
•••
tubbo: please open the door
tommy: on it
the pair of you stood at the door waiting for tommy to unlock it
“TUBBO! Y/N I'M GLAD YOU COULD BOTH MAKE IT!”
not too long later, you and tubbo had put everything away and sat with tommy planning out a small stream.
“so i was talking with my parents and we can do an outside stream, and set fire to marshmallows!”
“as much as i love fire tommy i don’t think your parents will appreciate arson in the garden.”
“it’ll be fine now grab a jacket, we need to go walk to the shop.”
the three of you set off determined to get to the shop and back before it got dark, tommy and tubbo walked on either side of you as they want you to feel safe. thankfully the shop was only around the corner so you were all only out for about 20 minutes maximum, you probably could have made it back earlier but you stopped every time you saw a pretty rock.
“y/n come on we still need to stream!”
“did you tweet that you were streaming?”
“no he didn’t.”
“then come and look at this pretty rock!”
tommy and tubbo couldn’t help but laugh at how many rocks you managed to pick up.
•••
“guys i think i’d rather just spend time with you all rather than stream.”
“that’s fine, tommy!!”
the three of you sat around the fire updating one another about plans and opportunitie, coming. the conversation swiftly came to an end when tommy had set fire to a stick claiming it was to make the fire grow. you laughed as you heard his mum yelling at him to stop trying to set you and tubbo on fire.
“sorry about that everyone, but look the fire is big again.”
it got colder as the sun went down, so the three of you sat with a blanket draped over you all. his mum offered to take photos for you and you happily accepted, the pictures looked amazing and you posted it to instagram with the caption ‘i am cold and no one is telling me what’s happening tomorrow.’
it was around 11pm when the three of you agreed it was time to go back inside and sleep.
•••
you and tubbo stayed downstairs and tommy stayed in his room. the sound of tubbos alarm woke the pair of you up.
“turn that fucking thing off!”
“this is the fourth time it’s gone off and you’re still not up?”
“that’s because i’m tired.”
“please get ready jack will be here soon enough.”
realisation finally hit today was the day you were finally about to find out what this once in a lifetime opportunity was. tubbo advised you to wear sensible clothing and not wear the zodiac necklace you always wore, so you decided to wear the hoodie ranboo sent you a week ago and leggings.
“y/n you might wanna tie your hair up.”
“tubbo are you sure you’re feeling okay? you genuinely look ill."
“i’m fine.”
jack: right i’m outside so whenever you’re ready
lani: we’re making our own way later on as the hotel we stayed at is closer
y/n: will someone tell me what we’re doing
ranboo: no
y/n: you’re not even joining us how did you get in the gc
ranboo: magic
y/n: fuck off give me a clue
ranboo: i’ve said it since you dyed your hair neon f/c you’d be able to see from way up in the sky
y/n: what the actual hell is that supposed to mean
•••
soon enough you met up with everyone else and lani started recording.
“we’re skydiving, you ready tubbo?”
“WERE DOING WHAT? HOLY SHIT!”
you honestly couldn’t wait to do this. it was something you had wanted to do for a while, tubbo on the other hand clearly didn’t agree, which was evident through his whining.
you stood with tommy laughing as tubbo sat alone questioning why he agreed to this.
“look at him.”
“he’s is not happy.”
you sat next to jack and tubbo watching the video demonstrating what you will all be doing soon. you let out a nervous laugh, as although you were excited, you couldn’t help but be a bit nervous.
“you could fall into the engine and get chopped up.”
“tommy stop scaring tubbo!”
“what if the parachute doesn’t work?”
“free fall to your death.”
“y/n you’re not helping!”
you stood recording tubbo laying on the floor once again whining.
“tubbo there are so many people behind you!”
“i’m sure the parachute won’t fail tubbo, but if it does it was lovely knowing you!”
“uuuuuuugh!”
“i fully agree bo.”
soon enough you tommy and jack joined tubbo on the floor.
“look at the clouds.”
“we’re going to be in them soon.”
“hell yeah!”
“ughhhh!”
you tried not to laugh trying to calm tubbo down a bit before you all jumped out a plane, which worked until you left him alone with tommy whilst you spoke to jack for a while.
“to be fair that looks quite fun.”
“and dangerous!”
“STOP!”
“well sounds like tubbos thrilled to be here.”
the four of you sat on a bench talking about what’s going to happen, and laughing at tubbos nerves trying to make light of the situation.
“look it’ll be fun, tubbo, provided we don’t die there’s a chance we’ll be in more vlogs.. okay so ignore the black cloud of smoke!”
“that’s not a good omen.”
“shut up!”
you wrapped an arm around tubbo trying to make him feel comfortable and reassure him it’ll be fine, only to be interrupted by jack and tommy bickering about eating before jumping from the plane.
•••
the four of you went to the briefing, at this point you were struggling to contain your excitement, and couldn’t help but laugh out of pure joy.
“no, they are listening, they're just excited.”
after doing training for the jump, you stood with tommy whilst someone questioned him about how he got 9 million subs.
“I just went around being incredibly cool.. doing minecraft.”
you and jack burst out laughing whilst tommy went on to make jokes about how much money he was earning.
•••
it was now almost time to jump out a plane. it was around now nerves were kicking in, so you all went around messing about till you were told it’s time to make your way to get ready.
“let’s go gamers!”
•••
“are you a skydiver enjoyer?”
“i am.”
“well that’s always good... please, don’t let me die!”
“y/n are you scared?”
“no, my ranboo merch will protect me, but if i die can we blame tommy for coming up with this?”
“ranboos not going to believe that you’re wearing the jumper he sent you to jump out a plane.”
a few minutes later you over heard a worker say they’re nervous causing you to tilt your head and blink again, trying to process what was said.
“heh???”
it was now time for the four of you to put the equipment on, so you were ready to jump. jack started talking a lot more than usual at a quicker pace due to the fact he was getting nervous. tommy pointed it out and jack trying to argue he wasn’t made you laugh.
“y/n keeps making a lot of jokes about my parachute being shit.”
“sorry manifold should be fine...more than likely...hopefully. only time will tell really.”
“how you doing buddy?”
“i’m feeling okay. i feel my insides doing inside bits.”
“wonderful!”
you were now all waiting to go as a worker jokes about forgetting something.
“y/n you’re going with him!”
“okay, but why?”
“well you said your ranboo merch will protect you..”
someone went by going rather fast causing you to stare in awe.
“we don’t go that fast, do we?”
“no not unless something goes terribly wrong.”
you all stood there laughing.
“stoppppp!”
“y/n, i’m now thinking you should go with them instead!”
“are you trying to kill me off jack?”
•••
you all set off towards the plane, a mixture of excitement and nerves began kicking in.
“tubbos on a lead.”
“oh i’m really nervous jack.”
“look at y/n!”
lani began to record you, who was now way ahead of the others, so you stopped and waved at lani.
“BYE LANI! HOPEFULLY ILL SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE!”
the others caught up and everyone had their equipment checked again.
“oh dear.. should be fine.”
“i’m alright, don’t worry my ranboo merch will protect us!” you got on first and that when you realised they set you up, so you jumped last as you were more confident and tubbo was jumping first so he could get it out the way.
you all sat on the plane and waved at the camera.
“hi there!”
“hello!”
“hi!”
“please don’t let us die!”
“we’re really jumping out a plane with a dream stan.”
“this is the highest we’ve ever been.”
“gamers in a plane whatever will they do...hopefully not die!”
“Y/N!”
“sorry tubbo!”
you were currently at 2,000 feet and sat looking out the window waiting to reach 14,000 feet. jack turned to you and tommy, “i can’t believe you’re jumping out the plane in philza merch and y/ns jumping out in ranboo merch.”
“if i die at least ill look great doing it.”
12,000 feet later it was now tubbos turn to jump, he looked back at you all.
“YOU GOT THIS TUBBO!!”
you watched as tubbo went.
“GOOD LUCK TOMMY!”
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN GOOD LUCK? Y/N?”
“BYEEEEE!”
you laughed as tommy went.
“see you later jack!”
you gave jack a high-five and watched as he went.
“holy shit they actually did it!”
“are you ready, y/n?”
“hell yeah, let’s do this!”
you laughed as you jumped, you couldn’t believe you actually got to jump out of a plane, you waved at camera.
lani met the others as they landed and began telling them about it.
“wait where’s y/n?”
“there they are!”
“Y/N!”
the others ran up to you as you landed.
“i’m glad you didn’t die!”
“thanks jack!”
•••
“would you all do it again?”
“yeah.”
“no.”
“maybe, i’m not sure.”
“i reckon so.”
not too long later, you were all given certificates to celebrate the fact you had jumped out a plane.
“yay it made nearly dying worth it!”
“you’re so dramatic!”
•••
you thought the day was over and that you were going home, little did you know that wasn’t the case.
“were not done for the day.”
“what?”
“heh?”
“you’re tilting your head again.”
“i know it’s because i’m confused!”
“anyway, what do you mean we’re not done?”
“you know george, he’s arrived!”
“gogy!”
“GOGY!”
“can i have a nap in the car please? i’m so exhausted."
taglist:
@l0ver0fj0y
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thefanficmonster · 3 years
Text
My Kind
Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)
Warning: Swearing
Genre: Fluff, RPF (Real Person Fic)
Summary: Having been chosen by the gang to be a guest streamer on today’s stream of Among Us, it’s safe to say Y/N’s super excited but also a bit nervous. The whole of her anxiety gets lifted off her when she meets someone with the exact same vibe as hers - yeah you guessed it.
Requested by @monizzle96 Hi dear! Thank you so much for your wonderful request! I’m so terribly sorry it’s taken me so long to write and post it but here it finally is! I hope you come across it and read it and if so I hope you enjoy it! Love, Vy ❤
This has to be the fiftieth time I’ve checked my setup in the past twenty four hours. But no, I’m definitely not nervous, what are you talking about. Pshhh. Nah, being nervous isn’t in my brand. Plus, what do I have to make me nervous - a group of famous streamers inviting me onto their stream to play Among Us with them because they enjoyed my own streams? Ok yeah, that’s a pretty good reason. Not gonna lie, I almost chucked my phone out of excitement when I received that DM from Toast, telling me they’d picked me to be their guest streamer for today’s date. My stomach was doing somersaults for a good forty-eight hours following that text and then the anxiety slowly started setting in fueled by the expectations they probably have of me.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not inexperienced in the streaming field, I’ve been a streamer longer than some of the members of Toast’s streamer gang actually. But I never managed to garner that big of a following which I’m honestly quite ok with. I have a modest - ok, maybe larger than modest - following consisting of incredibly loyal fans which I will never stop being grateful for. They are all so respectable of me, my privacy and my boundaries. They know the main rules: no shit-talking in the chat or in any of my comment sections, no bashing other YouTubers in my comments/chat, and most definitely not asking for a face reveal. Fun fact: I didn’t even set up that last rule, they all just collectively know not to ask for it. 
I’ve been keeping my brand pretty low-key to avoid garnering some unwanted attention - some of which I’ve already experienced on certain social media platforms following the full body pictures I posted on there - face not visible of course. I tend to also have my webcam on, facing towards my hands working away on the keyboard sometimes when I stream. I don’t know why people obsess over faceless content creators’ hands, but I appreciate the enthusiasm - it also drives me to do a manicure every now and then which ain’t so bad, self-care and all that you know.
Now, back to the subject of my ridiculous nervousness.
You see, it has layers.
I’m nervous of ‘preforming’ underwhelmingly and I’m nervous of what my own fans will think of the person I will become during this stream. They know me as a super chill and laid-back person, which I am by the way, but they might think I’m putting on a show if I exhibit any nervous gestures/vocabulary. I highly doubt they would, but the possibility is not letting my mind rest. And now that it’s about ten minutes till the stream starts, I’m getting doing my best to calm my nerves.
They are all just people. You know they are super chill too. Just be yourself, that’s why they invited you, because you are yourself on all your streams. They liked you for your personality, humor, maybe even your gaming skills. So chill the hell out and be yourself, damn it!
Easier thought than put into action that’s for sure.
I start my stream five minutes early just so I can vibe with my viewers for a little while before I have to meet the gang. My fans always have a way of injecting me with confidence, they remind me of where I was when I started and how far I’ve come. How much I achieved when I thought I’d be nothing and no one, someone the algorithm would simply overlook. But then they entered my life and I entered theirs and it all became much better than I ever thought it would get to be. I rarely tell myself ‘good job’ for the milestones I’ve reached or the hard work I’ve put into my content, but that’s probably cause I orient myself based on that quote from the movie Whiplash: ‘There are no two words in the English language more harmful than good job’ - simply put, I’m never satisfied with what I do and I always strive to do better. My fans, however, make sure I don’t go overboard with it - always serving as a reminder that I’ve done plenty for myself and others. And that’s what makes an amazing fandom, one I consider family.
Whoa, when did those five minutes fly by?!
Ah shit, here we go. Deep breaths, Y/N you got this.
“Hello!“ I say as I enter the Discord call, subconsciously biting my lower lip, grateful the camera isn’t capturing it. However, I make a mental note to keep my hands steady cause that’s the one part of me people can actually see and the last thing I want is for them to see how much my fingers are trembling.
“Oh hi, Y/N!“ Toast is the first one to greet me, “Welcome to the stream! Thank you so much for accepting our invitation.“
“Thank you for having me and inviting me, Toast. This is a huge deal for me. You guys are basically YouTube legends, this is unreal to me.“ I reply, cringing immediately afterwards because of my fangirl rambling. Great way to make first impressions, Y/N. Bravo.
To be fair, they already have an impression of you. Quit stressing.
Aright, you’ve got a point, me.
“Oh please, we owe all that to our fans. We’re really nothing special. All streamers are almost completely alike, we all owe where we are to the people who helped us make it there - our fans. We’re no legends.“ Toast says, bringing a small smile to my face as well as a light pink blush to my cheeks, “And from what I’ve seen, you yourself have quite the following. And your fans seem to adore you.“
“And I absolutely adore them.“ I chuckle, “They mean the world to me. They are the reason I’m here today.”
“Then we have to give them a special thank you, don’t you think?“ The teasing, familiar giggle, widens my smile - it’s Rae, “Nice to meet you, Y/N! I’m Rae, and, no cap, I’m quite a fan of your content. No joke, I binged your entire series of Resident Evil 7 as soon as I found your channel when Toast said he’d invite you.“
This rattles me a bit. I can hardly believe it - am I really receiving a compliment from an A-list name in the streaming world? My fans must be hella proud of me right now. A quick glance at my chat confirms that they indeed are. That in and of itself fills me with joy and newfound confidence.
“Oh Gosh, thank you so much Rae! That means the world to me. You’re all so sweet.“ I reply, lifting my ice cold hands to cool down my burning cheeks, my lips spread into a grin, my stomach filled with butterflies.
“Oh please, we have some real savages around here.“ A male voice, seemingly Charlie’s scoffs, “Don’t overlook us please.“
“Wait, we do?“ A deep voice, one I immediately know the owner of speaks up, “Who? How come I don’t know about that?“
I can’t help bust snort, “Nice to meet you, Corpse. Sarcasm central, I see.”
He laughs, “Just returning it to where it’s due. Nice to meet you too, Y/N. Sick Outlast series, by the way.“
Ok, wait, I have two A-list streamers complimenting my content. Ok, I’m bound to crack open a few beers to celebrate later cause OH MY GOD.
“Thanks! I’m a horror junkie so I’d be lying if I said I haven’t binge watched all your story-times. Personal favorites are the deep web ones, they fascinate me.“
“Oh, you’re one of my kind even more than I expected, huh?“ He replies, the tone of his voice changing, raising a bit due to what I can only describe as excitement and enthusiasm. “I’ve had people tell me it’s twisted, but I really like seeing the lengths to which the fucked up human mind can go to. Like, the shit I’ve read is insane! Some stories I didn’t narrate cause I would’ve probably had my video taken down, it was that messed up.“
My eyes widen, sharing the same excitement at the thought of digging deeper into this phenomenon, “Careful, Corpse, you’re walking a dangerous line of tempting me to deep-dive on Reddit in search of those exact stories.”
“No need.“ Corpse says, his tone now taking up a bit of a cocky note, “I still got them all saved, I can send them to you no problem.“
“Please do! I seriously gotta read them now. If I can’t sleep afterwards, I’m blaming you, Corpse. Just FYI.“ I say, giggling slightly, finding myself all but completely comfortable now. I wonder where all that anxiety went? 
“Blame fully taken. Given that I’m not much of a sleeper, I’ll keep you company whenever you think there’s a killer hiding in your closet or fear a red room pop-up will appear on your computer screen.“ He replies, chuckling.
“Um, that’s oddly specific.“ Charlie comments, “Been there yourself, buddy?”
“Perhaps.“ Corpse wheezes, getting a laugh out of me too, “I will neither confirm nor deny.“
“You know what, I’ll just private message you my number so if you see it call you at some ungodly hour, you don’t freak the fuck out. Sounds good?“ I ask, already prepping to type it out and send it to him. 
“Perfect. Wait...“ he pauses for a second, sounding puzzled for a second, “You don’t have mine.“
“Oh, do I not?“ I reply with a sinister tone - thought to answer the question, I of course don’t have his number.
“Oh, do you?“ He sasses me right back. “If so then you don’t need me to send it to you. Cool.“
Ah, shit
“Wait, no! I-I need to confirm it’s the correct one!“
Damn, never did I think I’d be complimented by some of the most important streamers on this platform, but to get a number of theirs too? That’s a whole another level that will take me time to process. But I’ll do that another time, right now, I have to kick these people’s butts in Among Us and later I have some deep web stories to read.
Turns out, all it takes to get comfortable in a new surrounding is someone of your kind. And Corpse is definitely one of my kind.
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1plus1kiyoomi · 4 years
Text
Chapter 23: Home
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After 5 long years, your family finally moves to a new house. It’s bigger than the house Kiyoomi first lived in. Since you have kids now, so more rooms must be added. You don’t even know how your husband managed to find such a big house that is close to the city.
Kia is beyond excited to have her own room after 3 long years of sharing it with her younger siblings “Wow! My room is so big!” Kia says in awe, her eyes wandering her new room. She climbs up the bed and jumps on it, letting out a series of laughter every time the sole of feet recognize the springy feeling. “I love my bed! It’s big and it’s all mine!”
“Kia, be careful or you’ll fall,” Kiyoomi warns her. Done checking with Kia, he follows Mina and your family dog, Momo, inside her new room. “Do you like it?”
“Where’s Momo’s bed?” Mina asks as she looks around the room for the said thing. The Shiba Inu follows behind her like a loyal servant.
“I thought you wanted Momo to sleep beside you?” Kia’s eyes turn wide in joy as she runs to her father. She raises her arms so Kiyoomi bends down and she gives him a kiss on the cheek.
“Momo, give papa a kiss too!” Mina cheers and the dog jumps on Kiyoomi. He catches him with his hands and stretches his arms away from his body.
“We’re not close enough to be kissing,” Kiyoomi tells Momo and puts him down. Momo resembles his cousin, Komori, so Kiyoomi feels awkward showing affection towards him.
Kiyoomi leaves Mina to discover her room, which is very kid-friendly since that’s what he specifically asked the interior designer of the house when it was being built. He then heads to where you and the twins are. From your posture and way of speaking, it seems like you’re having an argument with your youngest children.
“What’s wrong?” Kiyoomi asks you, casually putting a hand on your hip and pulling you close to him. He eyes Kin and sees the scowl on his son’s face. Kiyoomi sticks his tongue out, childishly mocking him.
“Stop that. He’s your son,” you scold your husband and he stops making fun of Kin. “Kin and Mira wants to sleep in their rooms.”
“Then, let them? Does it really matter?” Kiyoomi answers and the twins nod, agreeing to his words.
“We’re big now!” They tell you in unison.
“You’re three and you don’t want to sleep with mama anymore?” You sigh in disappointment.
“Are you scared on your own mama?” Kin frowns and you nod dramatically. Kiyoomi gags at your acting and you nudge his side with your elbow. “Do you want Kin to stay with you?”
“She has me,” Kiyoomi butts in and Kin gives him an unamused gaze.
“You’re not even home most of the time...” Kin rebuts with confidence. Kiyoomi grimaces at his son’s words and you just laugh. “Right, Mira?”
“Right!” Mira just agrees to whatever her twin brother says.
“Listen to the kids, Omi,” you whisper to him and he rolls his eyes. “Please set up the table in the garden. It’s almost dinner time.” You kiss your husband’s cheek and then you hear Kin chant that he wants kisses too. You fulfill your son’s wishes before skipping happily to your new kitchen.
The three of them set up the table just like you requested, while the two older girls help you in the kitchen. “I’m cooking the meat now,” Kiyoomi tells you as he takes out the meat from the freezer. You hum and continue cooking the other dishes.
“Go help your papa set up the table,” you order Kia and Mina. They wipe their hands clean before going out to help their father.
Kin and Mira keep running back and forth from the kitchen to the garden as they carry one plate at a time. Kia and Mina are arranging the table cloth and wiping the benches clean. Momo is helping by making sure that no bugs or birds are landing on the plates and being cute of course.
“Do you want meat?” Kiyoomi asks his kids. They don’t answer him as they are too preoccupied with other things.
Kia hears him and answers, “I’m not in the mood to eat meat papa.”
“Momo, do you want meat?” The dog barks at his question and points his forefingers at him. “You’re my favorite child for a reason.”
“Why is Momo your favorite child? You said you’re not even close enough to kiss!” Mina pouts and glares at her father.
“Mama said favoritism is bad!” Kia reprimands her father, her hands on her hips. “We are your children! You should love us equally!”
“Right! Love us equally!” Mira echoes her sister’s words, putting her hands on her hips as well.
“I thought I was your favorite!” Kin complains and Kiyoomi’s eyes dart at him.
“You don’t even like me!” Kiyoomi complains back and Kin raises his forefinger up as if he’s going to make such a great point.
“But mama said you specifically asked for me, which means I am your favorite,” Kin explains and just when Kiyoomi is about to make a retorting statement, Mira shouts.
“Papa! The meat is burning!”
“Shit!” Kiyoomi curses as he tries to weaken the fire. The garden falls dead silent as his kids stare at him in disbelief and shock. Their father could curse? “What?”
“You said a bad word!” Kia gasps dramatically.
“Said a bad word!” Mira mimics Kia’s dramatic gasp.
“No I didn’t!” Kiyoomi tries to argue, attempting to sound believable.
“Papa, stop lying. Even Momo heard it...” Mina says in disappointment. The barks as if he’s agreeing to Mina.
“Remember when I said I’ll buy you a trampoline when we move houses?” Kiyoomi tries to change the topic so he can escape his children’s interrogation.
“Shit!” Kin says loudly, and as if on cue, you go out to the garden and hear your three year old son cuss with all of his heart.
“Sakusa Kiyoomi! How many times do I have to warn you about not cussing in front of the kids?!” Kiyoomi face palms and glares at Kin. The younger boy just shrugs and runs to help you with the dishes you are carrying.
Before dinner starts, you want to take a picture of your family for keepsake. Sadly, that isn’t easy to do with four kids.
Mira and Kin are fighting over who gets to sit on your lap, leading to the twins crying. Kia is restless and hungry and just wants the picture to be taken but her siblings are acting up, which leads to her acting up as well. Mina is shy and hiding behind Momo. Kiyoomi is trying his best to make the twins to settle down so he attempts to take Kin away from you, but the boy just grabs his hair and tugs on it quite harshly.
In the photos taken, you have no good ones as expected. Kia is frowning at all the pictures. In one picture she’s rolling her eyes in irritation. Mina’s face can’t be seen since she’s hiding behind your family dog. Kin is still grabbing Kiyoomi’s hair and scratching his face, holding whatever is close to him. Mira is wailing on your lap and is screaming ‘papa’ since she wants to be with Kiyoomi now. Meanwhile, you and Kiyoomi look so tired and haggard in the photos. The only one who looks good in the photos is Momo. The dog is just sitting and smiling with his tongue out. So much for just one family picture.
Dinner finally starts after that chaotic pictorial and you say your thanks before eating. Kiyoomi cuts the burnt steak he cooked into smaller pieces and attempts to give it to Kin. His son rejects it so Kiyoomi sighs and takes the meat out of his bowl.
“I’ll eat it!” Kia volunteers and lifts her bowl so Kiyoomi can put the meat in it.
“I thought you were not in the mood for meat?” Kiyoomi raises an eyebrow at her but gives her the beef anyways.
“I changed my mind,” Kia reasons.
No, she didn’t. Kia hasn’t changed her mind. She really doesn’t want to eat the steak but when she saw Kiyoomi’s sad expression because of Kin’s rejection, she felt bad for him. She can’t scold Kin about rejecting food yet since he’s young, but she has to show him that the food their parents are providing them is special
“It’s good papa,” Kia compliments her father. Kiyoomi smiles at her and he continues to cook meat. She eats what he gives her without complains. Seeing his sister eat with gusto, Kin asks for meat and eats it.
“Me too!” Mira gives her bowl to Kiyoomi which he gladly puts the sliced beef in. She happily eats it and even feeds her twin brother with it.
Kia watches her father’s face light up in satisfaction which makes her feel blissful.
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It’s 12AM and Kiyoomi feels a small hand tugging on his finger. He wakes up from the touch, and sees his son with an almost crying face. “Hi, buddy. Why are you up?”
“Want to sleep with you,” Kin answers, pulling his little blanket close to his chest. Kiyoomi’s heart softens. Kin may act like he hates his father, but deep down he wants his attention and affection too.
Seeing his son’s scared image, he jumps out of bed and picks him up. If Kin is scared, so must be Mira.“Okay. Let’s go get your sister first.” He walks to Mira’s room as quiet as possible so he doesn’t wake you or any of his daughters up.
Kiyoomi sees Mira’s door open so he quickly checks the room and doesn’t see her there. He hears murmurs from Kia’s room and also notices how Mina’s room is empty.
“Don’t be scared. Nee-chan is here!” Kiyoomi overhears Kia speak. He peeks at the small opening at the doorway and sights Kia putting Mina and Mira to bed. “Do you want me to tell you a story?”
“Yes...” Mira answers, shifting closer to Mina so they can cuddle. Momo is sleeping at the end of the bed, unbothered.
“We are going to have a new baby sister!” Kia confidently announces.
‘That’s not a story! That’s a gossip!’ Kiyoomi chuckles and then enters the room, which surprises his three daughters. “What are the three of you talking about that is keeping you awake at this?”
“Papa! Tell us a story!” Kia tries to hide their recent conversation, but her expression is giving it away. She looks like a deer that has been seen in the middle of the road. “Mina and Mira were scared so they went in my room to sleep.”
‘They’re still sleeping together in one room after all.’
“Okay. I’ll tell you a story. What kind of story do you want?” Kiyoomi gives in and sits on Kia’s bed. He puts Kin down on the bed and he snuggles close to his twin sister immediately.
“About you and mama!” Kia giggles as she joins in her other siblings.
“Again?” Kiyoomi raises an eyebrow at her. Kia loves hearing stories about the two of you. It puts her at ease.
Kiyoomi starts to share a random story about you and him during high school. Your first time meeting his family exactly. And midway, he hears his children snoring soundly so he stops speaking. He then notices Kia looking out her window.
“Go to sleep...” He tells her.
“Papa, I am so happy you’re my father,” Kia says out of nowhere, taking Kiyoomi aback. “I don’t think I would be this happy if you weren’t.”
“I’m happy you’re my daughter, too.” Kiyoomi kisses the top of her head and then smiles at her.
Kiyoomi is thankful.
Kiyoomi is very thankful that she is his daughter. If he didn’t meet Kia 5 years ago, he wouldn’t know where or who he’d be now. Having children changed him and probably made him a better person. He still can’t go on a crowd on his own, but if he’s with his kids, everything possible for him. Kiyoomi is willing to go out of his comfort zone if it means his children’s happiness.
Kiyoomi thankful that you gave him a chance to prove that he can be Kia’s father. Not just Kia, but also Mina, Mira and Kin. He knows how stressed you are with having to take care of 4 kids and him not being around most of the time, but you still stayed. You never gave up on motherhood, your children and him. He falls in love with you again and again every single day just for it. You are the best thing that has happened to him.
Kiyoomi is thankful that he has a house where you and your children are in. He doesn’t go home everyday but he knows that when he does, you’re there to welcome him. Kia is there caring for her younger siblings with you. Mina is there drawing on the living room, while her dog, Momo, sleeps on the couch. Mira is there running after her twin brother and making sure he doesn’t hurt himself. Kin is there watching everything you do because he loves you so much. You’re there raising your children with sincerity and love. You and your child are there waiting for him.
Kiyoomi is thankful that he gets to go home to where the five of you are.
Sakusa Kiyoomi is thankful that you’re his home.
“I’m also excited for my new baby sister,” Kia mentions again. Kiyoomi for sure knows you aren’t pregnant because if you are, you would be complaining about it again. Or are you hiding it from him?
“Did your mama tell you that?” He asks for assurance that this is only part of Kia’s imagination and random child babbles.
“No, but I’m sure that mama has our baby sister in her stomach.” Kia closes her eyes and hugs Mina who is beside her.
“Okay...” Kiyoomi lets it pass and slowly drifts back to sleep, too tired to go back to your room.
Morning comes and you wake up to an empty space beside you. “Kiyoomi must have gone jogging...” You yawn and stretch your arms up. It’s already 6AM but you don’t hear any of your children chant the word, “mama” so you stand up and check on them. The silence is too rare that it’s scaring you.
Mira’s, Kin’s and Mina’s rooms are empty so you get anxious. You’re telling yourself that maybe Kiyoomi brought them jogging with him so you’ll feel better, but your anxiety grows since you know that Kiyoomi will never bring the four of them with him. Momo goes out of Kia’s room so you run to it, in hopes that your children are all there.
They are, and your husband is also there.
Kia and Mina are tucked in Kiyoomi’s armpits. Their hands holding onto their father’s shirt. Mira’s face is flat laid flat on Kiyoomi’s stomach, but her body is on the bed. Kin is on his thighs, the small boy hugging the muscular leg. You let out a silent giggle at the cute sight in front of you.
And all that happiness fades when you suddenly feel lightheaded. The feeling of being nauseous hits you so you run to Kia’s bathroom, which wakes everyone in the room up.
“Babe, are you okay?” Kiyoomi asks you he shakes his kids off his body.
“See, papa? I told you mama has our baby sister in her stomach!” Kia states as she rubs her sleepy eyes.
“We’re having another child?!”
End.
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Thank you so much for supporting my first ever story here. This will forever have a special place in my heart. I hope you all enjoyed it ♥️
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6blackfilin9 · 3 years
Note
I love your Anko fanart! Tell me, what are your views/headcannons on Anko X Kazuku?
hThank you so much for the ask, finally I can answer it
here is my big thank you for the waitng
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In a nutshell, the shipp was created by accident while me and my buddy were working on our first Naruto AU in 2019, where Kakuzu and Deidara survived their shitty plotholes end eventually ended up in Konoha
Yeah
so, the shipp’s birth date is july the 1, 2019
anything like classy, aristocracy kind of tension-filled passionate gothic romance with playful, psychological games & hurt/comfort vibes with slight scent of rivalry is KakuAnko
Basically, they are: a very, very old man with absolutely horrendous background who’s trying to finally have his mother*cking 10 or 30 years of peace, and a rather young lady with a rocky youth who’s being good & noble yet has very strong antihero tendencies
You know, I think they do have potential, since, in fact, they seem to be very similar, at the core
They are both very pragmatic realists, the people of logic and reason, yet if Kakuzu’s irritability doesn’t affect him a tiny bit due to his ideal self-control, Anko’s can lead her to quite bad places, sometimes. They put their interests in the first place, and even though she tries to attach them to Konoha’s, she still has ‘personal’ things (I’ll write ‘bout it lower*). Their mindsets are so complicatedly organized that, at some point & way, it prevents them from having many close people, and makes them very hard to see through and predict
Both of them are very flexible & adaptive, independent individuals with similar outlooks on plenty of things and high intellectual level. They clearly can find plenty of traits that they would highly respect and adore in each other
Here I will speak mostly for “why and how” kind of things, bc both of them are terribly tricky to accurately figure out. But there will be some headcanons too
So, there are still some odds about them, due to the strong difference in their occupation, like, in plenty of cases they are really tricky to be brought together, because:
- Of the job
In original, Anko is a Konoha’s special jounin, and she is very dedicated to serving the country. Independently of whether she likes her job or not (depends on the plot), she orienteers at the people, at society’s gain from her work. So, accordingly, in any other AU her job is somehow connected to civil service, whether it’s something police-like, connected to science, or something like CCG in Tokyo Ghoul
Kakuzu, on the other hand, is a hitman and a persona non grata in literally all the five big countries, Konoha too (which makes it barely possible to bring them together in the original universe without hard complications or heavy drama. But still possible). He orienteers on his own gain alone, but, depending on the job, it can include others’ gain, too.
This detail makes him a saint once he holds supervising position in some company or any high position in the government (the better the working conditions of the staff now- the more money in the prospective), and the sheer nightmare once he has it on the opposite side of the law. Him as a mob boss is a complete different topic for discussion, but to get the point, in this case, the trouble isn’t him increasing the level of criminality (its rather vice-versa), but taking hold of too much control in the high and underground structures. Even as an ordinary hitman he’s rather tricky, since everything depends on the case
In most of the stories, they come to some sort of compromise, and how hard it is to reach it depends on how shitty his job is and how attached they are to each other at the moment
Like, in the above mentioned Shippuden AU and Harry Potter AU (which I also wrote with my buddy) everything went like clockwork, because there they are both more or less on this side of the law, in Tokyo Ghoul AU (which I also wrote with my buddy) it is a bit more complicated, with her being in-law and him being very much outlaw, in the Avatar AU (which I also figured out with my buddy, but we never happened to write it) it is also pretty smooth, with both of them being outlaws and then jumping out to the glory after all the shit is done, but in another Shippuden AU of mine, this all would be just a motherfucking bloody disaster
- Kakuzu is actually a hard nut to get attached to anyone
He lived too long to be truly afraid of anything, though. Its mostly because he doesn’t really need to get attached to or become close with someone to satisfy his need for communication. The man can get along with anyone once he wishes to, he can have countless acquaintances and plenty of buddies, but he doesn’t have many comrades and barely can call anyone a friend. Because he is used to lose everything and everyone he ever had or happened to have, because of his inhumanly lengthened lifespan.
It requires time for him to get used to the person, and then, eventually, in some cases, spend plenty of it to get attached
Plus, for him, due to his profession, each close connection is a really great responsibility for him. In most cases, he’d think twice of weather he is ready to take it or not
Though it of course has the personal factor, too
In Anko’s case, she has a grand privilege by being a very intelligent and keen woman, not just in cognitive plane, but in emotional, too. High emotional intellect is actually a rare trait, so she automatically stands out of the crowd for him. Even though it won’t guarantee his alliance, it will grant her his high respect and some sort of sympathy
- Kakuzu is, technically, an asshole
He does have his moral compass, which includes a great amount of common social morality, but he also has that “I am working” state
Even though Kakusu has a set of professional principles, and he still acts accordingly to what he thinks is right, one and the very same situation can be solved diametrically different once the context changes from working to casual and vice versa
This, and him being very independent and quite antisocial, makes the degree of assholeness depend on various factors
This can lead to major conflicts of interests, and if they are possible to have any compromise or not is strongly attached to the circumstances. After all, both are very, very prideful and dignified people
- In other words, the only major issue for them would be morality questions. It’s possible to make the case acceptable for Anko, since both of them ain’t truly squeaky clean, along with Kakuzu being willing enough to watch his borders
- She is provident and doesn’t really need a lot of money on a daily basis, which is much of a joy to him lol
- *they both seek for the stable ground, first of all
Taking in consideration the life conditions Kakuzu had in his youth (despite war state, he still stably had family, friends, grand respect from everyone, home, warmth and food) and how terribly he was torn out of his secured social environment, I believe what he seeks through all his bounty hunt and other money-connected manipulations is stability. Sustainability he had back then. The only way to have it in the conditions of our existent world order is to have money (and a very good mind and luck)
Anko has indeed much more altruistic motives, yet it’s still not that simple. It seems to be, on the first sight, yet considering the “Orochimaru related cases” and her very wayward behavior toward them, it’s clear she keeps her own motives and needs in mind oh so well. The service she has is very well payed, it allows her to do what she likes or believes is right, and to have the living conditions she finds comfortable. And only here, relying on the made sustainable basis, she does what she does
- Thus, they both illustrate the principle “first help yourself, next help the other” just right
- She knows she can keep an eye on him, yet it’s clear for her that her influence isn’t borderless, as well as telling him off some stuff is kind of a not wise thing to do. So in the majority of cases, she never interferes
- This is not common, yet he can actually change some plans if the situation is serious and the compromise can’t be found. He is that kind of person who works on a further prospective, and in this context, this would be the relationship with his loved one
- While Kakuzu is quite conflicted and has very reserved controversial persona, Anko is both controversial, conflicted, and sort of two-faced, on top of that
She is a very sincere, cheerful and humbly honest human being, yet she has some darker natural traits of her character that became rather strong with age and traumatic experience. Cunningness, guile, ways-depend-on-the-case and a bit of ruthlessness, that is. Moreover, she has some unsolved personal issues, which makes her even more twisted.
Like, remember the time when she confronted Orochimaru during the exam? And Kabuto, on the war? Getting rid of them is indeed beneficial for Konoha, but it’s clear that for her it is personal vendetta in the first place. She wouldn’t have tried to do this alone, otherwise, because these two are rather dangerous ones, to say the least.
She uses greater good to cover her real motives (even though it is not truly complete bullshit), and seems to have a terrible habit to keep silence about really important things, which makes her quite prone to lying, in some cases
And sometimes it very badly pisses Kakuzu off, since it makes her prone to doing useless but dangerous shit too
Yet this not any kind of separate hidden side, it is integrated into her personality, and coexists with her bright one. That’s where her violent humour comes from, for example.
But Kakuzu, on the other side, is completely monolith individual, yet sometimes his mindset can create contradictions when it comes to something important to him. but it's another topic
And seeing these layered constructions, and motives, they can pretty finely predict each other’s behavior. Not super-neatly, but they for sure see the basis. This is what helps Kakuzu to prevent Anko from doing some stupid shit, sometimes
- Anko has a role of an indicator for the people who don’t understand and see the changes in Kakuzu’s mood sometimes, since she usually reacts quite openly. Yet, when she has the same unreadable mask of cold, or one of guile, it’s a nightmare for them
- They prefer the non-verbal way to show their feelings, even though Anko is obviously the more chatty one
- They don’t say things such as “I love you”, or other sensual stuff like that really often, believing it to be some sort of cherished words that shall not be spelled mindlessly
- Anko isn’t majorly into PDA, but she fancies it much more than Kakuzu does. She has her whole moments of studying something with her hands, whether it’s a hand, scar or face. He’s more into passive display of affection, like wrapping an arm over her waist or leaning to her or something of this kind; they can allow themselves to (not sexually) kiss in public though
- She knows he doesn’t like to walk hand in hand due to considering it a youthful thing, so there are times when she intentionally walks holding on to his sleeve; generally they walk separately in order not to bother each other, but sometimes they walk arm in arm (like an old Victorian couple lol)
- Being older and wiser, Kakuzu eventually upholds some kind of mentoring position, yet he never considers himself any kind of a teacher or master to Anko, believing her to have a good head of her own. He is just insightful enough to break something through to her or give a word of advise
- This, combined with his highly powerful demeanor, also makes him have the leading position in their relationship
- Anko respects him much enough to fortify this, entrusting with plenty of life questions (like organizing the family budget), even though they make the majority of decisions together. Mostly because he is truly wise and highly experienced individual.
- This makes him one of the very few people Anko would actually listen to and take their opinion in consideration
- So basically they have equal relationship with some tendency to patriarchal order
- And it is, really, mostly economically-based disbalance, with him earning much more than she does
- Yet they never have any financial-based issues, since both of them keep in mind and respect the contributions of each
- There is major power play here, too. He has the absolute might, she has seduction. Anko loves how he makes her want to submit to him, let him have all the power, so she likes provoking him. And she knows he adores it, loves the subtle control she has over him
- They don’t have conflicts in their everyday life. Each knows how to avoid pissing one another off
- He cherishes her playful demeanor, her intellect. Combined with her cunningness, it allows her to rival him, in social sphere. The way she constructs her phrases, the way she speaks, mimics, moves, how bewitchingly it suits her feminine snaky features makes his blood boil and heart melt
- Both of them, actually, have rather specific kind of dry, dark humour. Kakuzu’s is very cynical, satirical, quite often menacing and subtly demeaning; Anko’s is very sarcastic and quite dirty, even gruesome and rather violent
- Sometimes they “fight” verbally as a form of a play. In some circumstances they may sound pretty vile, so some unobservant people mistake this for display of hate
- In general, Anko is the one to heat things up with her playful demeanor, which can include provocation and rivalry, and Kakuzu is the one to keep this energy in borders, accumulating it up to much more intense states
- They both put the comfort in the first place when it comes to household. Everything must be cozy, useful, silent and super clean
- Yet they are both very unpretentious and modest, really
- She absolutely adores when he is showing his serious, severe side, or powerful demeanor. She finds it incredibly suitable for him. She also likes how his real age is sliding out in this or that way. Like, even though he has rather young face (that of 37-40 y.o.), his eyes give away that he’ve seen oh so much more than it seems; the grumpy noises and grunts he makes, the lazy attitude in movements and the way how rapidly he finds a comfy pose once he has a chance to take a seat
- They are both rather patriotic, yet while in the most stories Anko’s feelings mostly lay towards the country she lives in, Kakuzu’s more often lay towards some places, so called small motherland.
- Kakuzu actually could be a source of deep, strong admiration and delight for her, despite all of his bullshit. The unbreakable will he has, mighty burning heart, all the wisdom, talents and mind. Being sent to fight god damn Hashirama, clearly a genius of his times, financial & management genius at the least. And, still, after all the hard times he’ve been through, he maintained the very strong sense of dignity and nobility, even though slightly twisted due to the profession and abnormal lifespan
- And the very same things can serve as the source for her chagrin: with all those traits, he could have been so much more rather than a criminal. With all the gifts he’ve got, he could have been of great use to society. He’s much easier about this, since his prospective is much wider and embraces decades (and in some universes even centuries) instead of months & years, and he knows that he’d be switching sides throughout his life, being on this and that side of the law, yet he still is a bit uncomfortable once it’s brought up
- They are deeply into science, which makes them atheists. He’s into medicine and human biology, she’s into chemistry and reptilian biology; both of them are nuts for physics, history and psychology
- They solve complicated physical and mathematical problems together time to time. She is the first one to have tea-breaks due to losing her temper over it, he tries to figure things out right until you can sense the smoke coming off his head
- Actually, they do have a stumbling stone aside from job & morality complications. And this is Anko’s attitude towards Orochimaru
What she does is basically ruins her life very-very slowly, maintaining the issues she has and planning to make him pay for all he’s done
Kakuzu knows exactly what is really going on with this attitude and why, but he can’t really do anything about it. Like, he knows he can’t make her change her mind or put something into her head
All he can do is really nothing but try to explain how those things are working, and even this option is basically a landmine field for him. At some level she does understand that he could probably be right, yet she just refuses to go back on her mind. And this is actually really dangerous, so at some moments they can fight quite badly about it
- He’s scared shitless to lose her, though; especially like that, even though he knows clearly that he will, anyway, sooner or later
- he knows that losing loved ones ends up with sheer disaster for him, yet he isn’t afraid to pay such a high price for those six, five or four decades of being with her. Because these decades are that of a paradise ones for him. Wife and family, as well as stable job, incomes and life conditions, are some sort of physical definitions of sustainability he craves. Especially family, yet it’s far ahead to plan
- The fact that he will have to bury her one day makes her rather depressed, as well as the knowledge that the only thing she can really do about it is to try to bring him as much happiness and comfort as possible before she dies
thank you, i'd say more, but it's too much already
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goldenraeofsun · 3 years
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Enhanced Extraction Techniques
Also available at AO3
“Cas?”
Cas whirls around. If he was standing on a normal floor, his shoes would have squeaked with the abrupt turn. In the Empty, though, his feet don’t make a sound. “Dean?” he calls back, his heart soaring in his chest.
“Cas? Where are you, man?”
Cas spins in another circle, his eyes straining against the darkness. The oppressive blankness of nothing presses against his eyeballs like an almost tangible film. He tries again, “Dean?”
“Cas?”
“Dean!” Cas takes off in the direction of Dean’s voice.
“Are you there?”
 Cas walks faster, anticipation quickening his heels. “I’m coming!”
“I can’t find you!”
“I’m here!” Cas calls back desperately.
“I’m running out of time here, buddy! Spell’s not gonna last forever. Where the hell are you?”
Panicked, Cas breaks out into a run. “I’m coming, Dean!”
“Are you?”
Cas stops dead. If he was back on Earth, he would have fallen flat on his face with the momentum. He turns to his right, where Dean’s voice just came.
“Cas? You there?”
Dean’s voice definitely came from his left that time.
“I need you.”
Cas swallows. Dean’s voice is coming from directly in front of him now. Icy dread creeps up his spine, but he feels hot all over.
“You make it too easy, Castiel.”
Dean never calls him by his full name, not in more than a decade. He is not talking with Dean.
“Nobody is coming for you.”
Cas doesn’t respond. Shamed beyond reason, he just stands there because there is nothing else to do. He can’t hide from the Empty. The Empty is everywhere.
Black ooze, blacker than the surrounding darkness, bubbles up from the floor. The Empty resolves into Cas’s own face, to his surprise. He’d been expecting Dean.
It shrugs, a knowing smirk playing on its lips. “What can I say? If you’re determined to keep me awake, I might as well amuse myself.”
“Your sense of humor leaves much to be desired,” Cas says as tonelessly as he can manage.
The Empty crosses its arms over its chest. “My options are limited, aren’t they?” it says snidely. “I can’t put you to sleep, so I can’t sleep. I might as well make this experience as hellish for you as it is for me.”
Cas frowns. “You could always negate our deal. Send me back to Earth.”
The Empty laughs. “That’s not how it works. That was a one-way trip.”
Cas grinds his teeth. “Then it seems like we’re at an impasse.”
“An impasse requires two forces of equal power,” the Empty tuts. “And you, my little gnat, have no power in this equation. You are my plaything. What was it that Gabriel said? A thousand channels and nothing’s on. Except you.”
Before Cas can respond, the Empty disappears, dissolving into a tarry splatter and absorbing into whatever passes as the floor in this place. 
 * * *
Cas wanders. He used to sleep while he was bored, but the Empty truly reigns supreme in his dreams. Cas killed Naomi’s Dean facsimile a thousand times, a million times. He watched Dean rake leaves, Crowley whispering poisoned promises into his ear. He walked away as Dean hurts and rages silently behind him in the Bunker.
So Cas stays awake. He’s an angel. It isn’t hard.
Dean’s voice occasionally calls for him.
Cas ignores it.
He wanders for what seems like miles, like hundreds of miles. Nothing ever changes in the Empty. With every step forward, he meets the same bleak blackness. The closest comparison in his long memory is the fraction of a second before the Big Bang - there was emptiness then too, but it was filled with a pregnant sense of promise. In the Empty - nothing.
Until.
Dean is running towards him.
Cas blinks a few times to make sure, even though his vision is perfect.
“Cas,” Dean breaks the silence first, “I found you.”
“Dean,” Cas breathes - any louder, and Dean will hear the trembling. “You’re here.”
“The real deal, sweetheart,” Dean says with a wink. “Now, come on. We’re getting out of here.” He takes off in the direction he came from, glancing behind him to check on Cas.
“We are?” Cas asks, following.
Dean throws him a disbelieving look. “Of course, dude. Sam and Jack are prepping the spell to get us back to the Bunker. We got Chuck by the short and curlies, but we’re one power player short. So we gotta get a move on.”
“So you need me?” Cas asks.
“Your mojo is the ticket,” Dean says with a little grin. “Chuck wiped all the angels off the Earth except Michael. And that dick isn’t answering our prayers, so you’re our next best bet.”
The joy at seeing Dean wavers. “I am?” he asks haltingly.
Dean shrugs. “We gotta work with what we have. And we just remembered you were here, out of Chuck’s reach. Our own spare angel!”
Cas barely holds back his flinch. Hunching in on himself, he mutters, “Yes, I suppose so.”
“Don’t worry,” Dean assures him, misreading his reaction completely. “We have a plan.”
Cas sighs. “Of course you do. What is it?”
“Sam found a spell,” Dean says. “It’ll rip Chuck apart, and, since Amara’s inside him - which, gross - it’ll maintain the balance when the spell takes her apart too.” 
Dean stops walking.
Cas looks around, but nothing sets aside this patch of emptiness from any other. No illuminated rift, no magic symbols, no X marking the spot - nothing.
“The catch is,” Dean says as he turns to Cas, his face regretful, “the spell needs an angel’s grace.”
In a blink of an eye, an angel blade drops into Dean’s palm.
Cas blinks. No beings but angels can manifest that particular weapon.
Dean raises the blade, fingers flexing on the handle. “You know,” he says conversationally, “Now that I think about it, we don’t actually need the angel himself - just the battery.”
Cas stands his ground, his eyes darting over Dean’s face, taking in every nuance and tell.
“I told you once,” Cas says warily, a horrible foreboding coming over him, “I’m always happy to bleed for the Winchesters.”
“Happy to hear that, Cas,” Dean says, his face impassive, “because you’re gonna bleed a lot, not gonna lie.” He shoves the blade in Cas’s chest, right above his heart.
Cas staggers back from the blow, pain and shock radiating out from the bloodless wound.
Dean raises his eyebrows, his mouth curling into a mocking smile as Cas meets his smug face. “What, were you expecting to go poof? We’re in the Empty,” he throws its hands wide, “everyone’s in stasis here, including you.”
Cas yanks the blade out of his chest, but it - and Dean - turns into black goo before he can stab anything with it.
 * * *
The Empty doesn’t mimic Dean next. Instead it takes Meg’s shape, Samandriel’s, Duma’s. Every one of the thousands of angels Cas killed up in heaven.
And there’s no escape. Cas can do his best not to listen, but if he retreats too far into himself, it almost counts as sleeping. With the Empty’s nudging, his thoughts will veer into his worst regrets, sooner or later. 
The Empty is in the middle of lecturing him in the form of Balthazar, when it explodes in a burst of light and sound.
Dean Winchester stands in the aftermath.
“Come on,” he says roughly. He strides forward to grab Cas’s hand and tug him in the other direction. “That bomb doesn’t last forever.”
“Dean?”
“Who else?” Dean yanks him sharply to the left. “This place didn’t turn your brains to scrambled eggs, did it?”
“I don’t think so,” Cas says shakily. “Dean are you really...”
“What?”
Cas can’t help looking down at their clasped hands. A fleeting thing, barely more than a glance. Still, Dean drops Cas’s hand like it burned him. “You good to run?” he asks shortly.
Cas barely nods before Dean takes off. They hurtle through the Empty, their rapid footsteps impossibly silent. Dean’s breath comes in sharp pants, and Cas’s useless wings ache, not for the first time, to fly them to their destination.
“Dean,” Cas starts, and Dean slows. “Where are we going?”
“Where I left my stuff,” Dean says shortly. “The spell to get us out of here needs a shit-ton of crap, and I couldn’t haul it all over this goddamn place while I was trying to find you.”
“How did you know your way back?”
The corners of Dean’s mouth lift in a faint smile. He points to the floor. “M&Ms.”
Cas squints at the ground, and, sure enough, they are following a trail of tiny candies. “Ingenious,” he murmurs.
“Hey, it worked with a Wendigo,” Dean says, shrugging. He directs them in a few more twists and turns before Cas sees Dean's duffle bag in the distance, topped with a bright yellow bag of M&Ms.
As they get closer, Dean pulls out an angel blade from inside his jacket.
Cas balks. 
Dean shoots him a puzzled look as he hands it to him. “It won’t kill anything here, obviously,” he says, unzipping his bag. He pulls out a copper bowl and bundles of herbs, “But having a weapon’s never a bad idea in unknown dimensions.”
“Yes, Dean.” Cas surveils their inky surroundings, already on high alert for any trespassers.
“Watch my back, okay?” Dean glances over his shoulder. Various ingredients get dropped into the bowl with outsized clangs and dribbles that seem to echo in the void around them.
Cas stays vigilant.
“This was easier than I thought it would be,” Dean mutters as the bowl’s contents start to smoke.
“Don’t jinx it,” Cas mutters out of the side of his mouth.
Dean chuckles under his breath. “I didn’t think angels believed in jinxes.”
It’s not like Cas has been especially angelic these past few years. He says shortly, “I’ve found you can never be too careful.”
Dean hums his agreement. “Need your blood for this part,” he says, shuffling over to make room. “Wait,” Dean says before Cas can press the blade againt his skin.
“Yes?”
“This is the last step,” Dean says seriously. “Once your blood goes in, it’s liftoff. So I wanted to get a couple things straight before we’re back in the Bunker.”
Cas doesn’t need to breathe, but if he did, his breath would have hitched in his chest at the closed-off look on Dean’s face. “Of course.” 
“What you said - what you told me,” Dean starts, his voice hard, “before you got sucked to this hellscape.” He drops his gaze to the bowl cradled in his hands, “That’s not me.”
Cas presses his lips together, struggling to keep his face impassive. Once he regains control of himself he says, “I did not expect you to reciprocate when I told you about my feelings for you.”
Dean actively recoils at the mention of feelings. He gives the bowl a little toss, and a few of the contents spill onto the floor. “Just, forget it,” he says brusquely, gathering everything up again.
“Dean-”
He turns to Cas, his eyes blazing. “But - you know what? I can’t forget it.”
Cas opens his mouth, but Dean is not done.
“How could you offload all that shit on me right before you fucked off to parts unknown?” he demands, voice rising in anger and volume. “Of all the goddamn things you could have said to me - that takes the fucking cake. You were my best friend -” he breaks off, shaking his head. “Worst moment of my goddamn life.”
Cas takes a step back, a sickly horror trickling down his spine. “I didn’t think-”
But Dean’s not listening. “I had serious doubts about coming here at all,” he continues, and the last Dean had stabbed him in the chest - how is this so much worse? “But Sam gave me those goddamn puppy dog eyes, and don’t even get me started on Jack-”
“I understand,” Cas interrupts stiffly. He inhales a deep breath he doesn’t need and continues, “Once we return to the Bunker, I’ll stay out of your way.”
“Probably for the best,” Dean mutters.
Cas cuts his forearm, watching with perverse fascination as the blood wells up and drips into the bowl waiting below.
There’s a violent burst of light and sound.
In the aftermath, Cas can only make out Dean’s mocking laughter. Before Cas can say a word, it turns into Meg’s delighted giggles. And then Gabriel’s howls of mirth.
 * * *
Cas sleeps after getting deceived for the third time. Anything is better than seeing the smug face of the Empty, whether it’s wearing Dean’s face, Gadreel’s, or Ruby’s. 
He breaks the wall in Sam’s head.
He lets Lucifer possess him in a futile plan.
He beats Dean to a bloody mess for the Angel Tablet.
Occasionally, the Empty grants him release, and Cas gets to deliver a bad joke to Uriel in Mesopotamia or Dean calls him a baby in a trenchcoat in a diner.
Time passes. Cas has no idea how long. There’s no sun - no moon - no cycling of the heavens. Only emptiness.
He gets shaken awake.
Cas blinks up at a pair of very familiar green eyes. “Dean,” he says, more or less resigned.
“Jesus,” Dean says as he sits back on his heels, “Way to make a guy feel welcome. I’m here to save your sorry ass, in case you were wondering. A full week of tearing my hair out over how to get you outta here, and this is the thanks I get.”
Cas sits up. “My apologies,” he says tentatively as he studies Dean’s face. There’s no sign it isn’t really Dean.
Then again, none of the others showed signs either.
Cas gets to his feet, asking, “Are you alone?”
Dean glances around them warily. “Yeah, Sam and Jack are keeping the portal open in the Bunker. They wanted to come,” he says, his eyes raking over Cas’s face, drinking him in. “They’ll be over the fucking moon to see you again.”
Cas swallows. “And you?”
“I -” A dull flush comes over Dean’s cheeks. He looks away.
Cas’s face shutters. “Right,” he says as he stands in front of Dean. “Now what?”
“Hey,” Dean says, reaching out to grasp his left shoulder, a mirror of the mark Cas left on him so long ago and so recently. “I missed you too. You have to know that.”
Worst moment of my life.
Cas looks away, Dean’s own raised voice echoing in his head.
“Hey,” Dean says again, gentler this time. His green eyes bore into Cas’s face. “What’s going on in that celestial brain of yours?”
The words catch in Cas’s throat, a lump of embarrassment and fear keeping them there. Embarrassment that the Empty deceived him. Fear that the Empty was right.
“Look, I know we didn’t leave things on great terms,” Dean says awkwardly, “and maybe this isn’t the best place to talk about it, but I’m so fucking happy to see you, man.” He chuckles ruefully. “’S making me lose my goddamn mind.”
Even if it’s only a facsimile of Dean - and there’s no way to tell for certain - seeing his face not contorted in anger or mockery is like a balm on Cas’s soul. If he had one, that was.
“About what you said before you got taken-” Dean starts.
Cas’s heart sinks.
“No,” Dean says, his voice low and gentle, “listen to me. I get that happiness for you might just be in the being, but for me-”
“It’s fine, Dean,” Cas interrupts. “I meant that, truly. You don’t have to-”
“Jesus Christ,” Dean says, smiling slightly, “You’re not making this easy are you?”
Cas bites his tongue to keep from contradicting Dean again.
“As I was saying,” Dean continues pointedly, his green eyes shining, “For me, happiness isn’t in the being - whatever the hell that means. It’s in the goddamn having.”
Cas bites his tongue harder, the pain hardly registering against the burst of hope fluttering wildly in his chest. “Dean,” he forces out, “You can’t mean…”
“Cas,” Dean starts, and Cas’s heart breaks - or mends. He can’t tell. He has no idea who he is talking to, and it’s, to borrow a phrase from the real Dean, an epic mindfuck.  
“Cas,” the Dean standing in front of him repeats, and Cas’s gaze automatically draws back to his face, “Good things do happen.”
Cas chuckles wetly. He has no choice but to say, “Not in my experience.”
Dean takes a step closer, far into the personal space he’d shown Cas so many years ago. Brows drawing together, he raises a hand to cup Cas’s face. “Someone told me a while ago that having faith was important. Seems you’re a little short there, buddy.”
Cas tries to duck his head, but Dean won’t let him. Eventually, he admits, “My faith has been tested recently.”
“But you didn’t give up, right?” Dean asks, leaning in close enough that Cas can feel the warmth of his breath in the air between them.
Cas shakes his head minutely. “No,” he murmurs, “not entirely.”
“Good,” Dean says, pausing just shy of Cas’s mouth. Waiting.
Cas steels himself and closes distance.
Just before their lips touch, Dean implodes in a burst of inky ooze.
 * * *
Cas breaks several knuckles on the floor of the Empty. There are no walls to punch, no blade to send heads rolling. Cas works with what he has.
The real Dean would probably approve.
Dean shows up again before too long. This Dean goes so far as to tell Cas he loves him.
Cas turns his back on Dean’s heartbroken face. He refuses to engage.
He wanders instead.
* * * 
Cas hears the footsteps before he sees his next Dean.
“Cas!” he pants, “Thank fuck. I thought I was never going to find you.”
Cas merely sighs.
Dean makes a face. “Way to roll out the welcome wagon,” he says, clearly offended. “I would’ve thought you were sick of this place by now.”
Cas purses his lips. “I am.”
“Shocker,” Dean says with a little smile. “Look, we don’t have a lot of time, so you gotta follow me.”
Cas doesn’t budge. He’d rather roam this place for eternity than suffer at the hands of another Dean facsimile. And he had thought he saw enough of them under Naomi’s tutelage. He’d been so naive.
Dean stares at him like Cas just stripped naked and danced the macarena. “What are you doing?”
“You’re not real,” Cas says bluntly.
Dean gapes. “Of course I’m real! Chuck’s de-powered, and Jack… well, it’s a long story. Bottom line: nobody’s pulling our strings but us.”
Cas lets out a derisive laugh.
Dean’s eyebrows rise, but he barrels on, “So it’s time to get a move on. Up and at ‘em, sunshine.” He jerks his head off to the right. 
Cas stays where he is. “No.”
“What the hell?” Dean has the gall to tug on Cas’s sleeve like he’s a wayward toddler. “Come on. You’re not making any sense.”
“You’re not making any sense,” Cas retorts. It’s not his best rejoinder, but he’s been very stressed lately.
Whatever Dean was about to say dies on his tongue as he stares at Cas in confusion. “What’s wrong with you?” He shakes his head before Cas can respond, saying, “Doesn’t matter. We’ll figure it out later. But now, you’ve gotta come with me.”
Cas levels him a flat glare. This one is more stubborn than the last, more like the real Dean. “Why should I?”
“Because you don’t deserve to be stuck here?” Dean says, gesturing to the void around them. “You saved the world, Cas.” He swallows. “You saved me. Getting you out is the least we can do.”
“Because you need me to take on Chuck,” Cas says.
“No?” Dean says, his eyes narrowing. “I already told you, Chuck’s off the playing board.”
“Because you feel guilty about leaving me here.”
“No - wait, I do, but,” Dean breaks off, irritated, “you know what I mean.”
Cas doesn’t, so he continues in the same vein as before, “Because you love me.”
Dean hesitates. “I’m working on it.”
Cas snorts. At least the last Dean had the balls to say it. Many times. While crying.
“What?” Dean throws up his hands. “You just sprung it on me, dude! I didn’t even know angels could feel things like that, and it took me by surprise, okay? I’m only human, and sometimes we need time to get used to ideas. Like when we found out Snooki was a demon. Yeah, the signs were there, and it makes sense, but still - you sometimes need it spelled out for you.”
Cas pauses. None of the other Deans had referenced pop culture. “How long ago was this for you?”
“Since we summoned Snooki?” 
At Cas’s icy look of disdain, Dean hedges, “A month? Give or take.” He glares. “First we had to deal with Chuck, and it took a while to find a spell to get here. Remember, we didn’t even know this was a place before you died the last time. The Men of Letters weren’t a shit ton of help, for once.”
Cas crosses his arms over his chest.
“Just… hear me out,” Dean says. “There’s a portal to get us home. Sam and Jack can’t stall the Empty forever.”
That was new. “Jack and Sam aren’t in the Bunker?”
“No,” Dean says as he takes off in the opposite direction, all but forcing Cas to follow to find out more. “They’re up in Heaven.”
“Why?”
“Because the Empty can’t get to Earth without a summoning spell, which, as far as we can tell, doesn’t exist?” Dean says, checking over his shoulder to make sure Cas is still within earshot. “But you made that fucking stupid deal in Heaven, so we knew it could at least travel there. Jack zapped Sam to the Pearly Gates, and they’re hopefully making a distraction while I get you out.”
Still not entirely convinced, Cas asks begrudgingly, “And where are we going?”
“A portal,” Dean says confidently. “This place is a little like Purgatory, apparently. If it senses a human here, it’ll create a portal to spit them out again.” He flashes a grin over his shoulder. “So here I am, 100% genuine human to bail your ass out.”
“Thank you?”
“Don’t mention it,” Dean says with a wink.
Cas scowls. The first Dean had winked at him too.
“Jesus, tough crowd,” Dean mutters as they head further into the Empty.
Cas scans the ground, but there are no small candies lining the way. “How do you know where to go?”
“Turns out, Sam could find a spell for that,” Dean says as he holds up his left hand - clutching his amulet. The Empty must have really hunted around in his memories for that one, even more so than the Wendigo case. He hasn’t seen the real amulet in nearly five years. “It heats up when I’m on the right track towards the exit.”
“So no M&Ms?”
Dean turns to him. “I told you about that?”
Cas stares straight ahead, willing his face to fall into an expressionless mask. The real Dean had told him about the Wendigo over dinner with Sam and Mary while she was still alive, or the Empty wouldn’t be able to use it as inspiration now.
Dean shakes his head, smiling. “Man, I haven’t thought about that case in forever.” He glances at Cas, his face sobering. “You really don’t believe this is real?”
“No.”
He can’t. Not again.
Dean sighs as he steers them slightly to the right. “Come on, I’m almost getting third degree burns from this thing. We must be close.”
Sure enough, a blue swirling portal comes into view, a pinprick of light in the distance at first, elongating into an exact replica of the Purgatory exit as they approach. 
“Finally,” Dean mutters, his face impassive. He  turns to Cas. “Just… don’t stay behind,” he grimaces, “again.”
This version has been the most true to Dean - less callous than the first, more caring than the second, more guarded than the third. It will hurt the most when this one falls apart. Maybe it would be better if Cas heads it off at the pass instead of letting the whole painstaking ruse play out all the way through.
If the Empty could get it over with, Cas will go back to sleep. Anything is better than this torture.
Cas takes a step back, away from the portal. “This is pointless-”
“Jesus Christ, Cas!” Dean throws his hands in the air. “I don’t get it at all. You don’t think you deserve to be saved?”
Cas gapes at him.
Dean continues heatedly, “If an ex-demon with anger management problems and rap sheet a mile long deserved to be saved, I think a legit angel should get the same.”
Cas shakes his head. “I’m hardly a prime example of an angel anymore.”
Dean raises his eyebrows. “Have I ever cared about that?”
“Well, no, but-”
“Glad we can agree on something,” Dean cuts him off. “Now, are you going to go through the portal or am I gonna have to drag you? I’ll do it,” he threatens. “Don’t test me.”
Cas wavers. Everything in him says to follow Dean. But this isn’t the real Dean - this is the Empty waiting for the glorious moment when it can yank the illusion away, leaving Cas a little more broken than before.
Dean’s eyes narrow. “Fuck you,” he spits, “You can’t trust me just a little-”
“Trust?” Cas echoes as he strides forward to grab the lapels of Dean’s jacket, his voice rising in a mixture of outrage, desperation, and heartache, “You want me to trust you? After you’ve lied to me, deceived me - after you stabbed me, after you told me I put you through the worst moment of your life the last time you saw me, after you made me think you returned my feelings only to - only to-”
Dean shakes his head slowly. “But I didn’t do any of that.”
“You did,” Cas says fervently, shaking Dean a little - or maybe that’s his trembling hands. “You did - you’ve been putting me through hell since I got here, and I’m sick of it. I’m sick of you.”
Dean’s expression hardens. “You don’t mean that.”
“Oh, I do,” Cas swears. “I’m done pretending.”
Dean his eyes flicking down to Cas’s mouth. “What do you know,” he breathes, “so am I.”
Cas freezes, waiting for Dean to dissolve into a puddle of goo in his hands.
Dean kisses him instead.
At the first touch of Dean’s lips to his, Cas jerks back in surprise and horror.
He falls straight into the portal. 
The Empty vanishes in a blur of too-bright light.
 * * *
Cas comes to in the middle of a field. The sun shines overhead. Noon, Cas registers distantly as he looks around. Dean’s sprawled on the prairie grasses next to him, already waking up judging by the groaning noises.
“Dean?”
Dean opens his eyes, glances at the sky, and closes them again. “Oh great, we made it.”
Cas tentatively picks his way closer to Dean’s side. He stands over him for a moment, shuffling to the side so he doesn’t block the sunlight falling on Dean’s face. “We’re on Earth.”
“Well, it’s sure as shit not Mars,” Dean grumbles, eyes still closed. “Are you watching me right now? I feel like you’re watching me right now.”
Cas stares around the field. “Not anymore,” he says, and a genuine breeze blows against his face. What a marvel.
“‘S okay,” Dean says as he wiggles a little on the grass, getting more comfortable, “’M used to it.”
Cas turns to him. “It’s really you.”
“The real deal, sweetheart,” Dean cracks his eyes open, one corner of his mouth lifting into a lopsided smile. “You believe me now?”
“This could be the most elaborate ruse yet.”
Dean lifts his head up. “Seriously? You dick, I did not haul ass all the way-”
“I don’t really believe that, however,” Cas says before Dean can work himself up too much.
“Good.” He meaningfully thumps the grass next to him. “Sit. You’re giving me serious Law & Order vibes.”
Cas’s brow furrows. “I don’t get that reference. I know about Law & Order-”
“And how does every episode of Law & Order start?” Dean interrupts, “With someone standing over a dead body in a field.”
Cas takes a seat. “Not always a field. Most episodes show corpses in urban areas, or, once, a yacht.”
“Pretty sure it was more than once. I hate procedural cop shows.”
“They are very formulaic,” Cas admits, stretching out his legs, “and lack the drama of soap operas.”
“I’m just saying, if a long lost sibling doesn’t pop out of the woodwork or if the main character isn’t killed off at least six times, is it really worth watching?”
Cas levels him a flat look. “Dean, all those things have happened to you.”
Dean snorts. “At least none of us got amnesia.”
Cas rolls his eyes. “Speak for yourself.”
Dean turns his head to stare at him, a wide grin spreading across his face as he laughs. “Oh shit, you're right. How the hell did I forget?”
“Because of supreme irony, most likely.”
It takes Dean a moment to get it, but when he does, he laughs even louder.
Cas doesn’t have anything to add, so he lets the conversation peter off into silence, listening to Dean’s even breathing and the grass rustling in the gentle wind.
“I didn’t think it would be like this,” Dean says in an undertone.
Cas turns to him. Dean’s eyes are closed again, but everything else about him radiates a quiet tension Cas might’ve missed anywhere else. But here, in this field, nothing prevents Cas from honing on Dean’s whole being with everything he has. “What do you mean?” he asks carefully.
“I dunno,” Dean says, his face scrunching up, “I thought it would be more awkward. But… it doesn’t feel any different.”
Cas blinks. “Why should it?” he asks, and though he’s not definitively sure what Dean means by ‘it’, he has a very strong suspicion.
Dean shoots him a pointed look. “Because you don’t tell someone you love them and expect everything to be OK after.”
Cas lays down next to Dean. Staring up at the wispy clouds overhead, he says, “If it changes anything, I didn’t expect to be around for the after part.” Dean’s head turns to look at him, but Cas can’t bring himself to see whatever expression is on his face. “If you’d like for us to go our separate ways after this, I understand.”
“You stupid bastard,” Dean mutters vehemently, “for the last goddamn time, I did not piss off the immortal Blob just to tell you to go fuck yourself in person.”
Cas inhales a slow breath, breathing in the dirt, wildflowers growing nearby, and Dean. “You kissed me,” he says.
“You said you loved me,” Dean shoots back.
“Did you mean it?”
“Did you?”
Cas grimaces as he turns his head to face him. “I thought it was obvious.”
Dean swallows. “No, it wasn’t,” he says quietly, “but I’ve never been good at that stuff.”
Cas squints at him. “You are the most emotionally intelligent man I’ve ever met.”
“What?”
Cas rolls his eyes. “You expertly navigate and manipulate people’s emotions to get them to talk to you, open up to you, have sex with you,” he lists. “It’s extraordinary to witness.”
Dean makes a choking noise. “Dude,” he says, which tells Cas absolutely nothing. A few more clouds pass by before Dean speaks again. “I guess the signs were there - with you. But I didn’t want to put them together.”
“Why not?”
Dean shrugs, his shoulders scraping almost inaudibly against the soil and grass stems. “Just didn’t.”
“Then that’s why I didn’t tell you. But, Dean-” Cas breaks off. This part of the conversation, despite what Dean said earlier, does not feel the same as others between them. 
Dean’s eyes flick to his. “Yeah?”
“You kissed me.”
Dean inhales a sharp breath. “I did,” he says at last.
Cas waits, but Dean doesn’t elaborate. “Was it just a ploy to get me to leave the Empty?”
“No.”
Cas grimaces. Not for the first time, his life would be so much easier if Dean could communicate without speaking in riddles or hiding every third word he wanted to say. “Dean...”
“I told you I’m working on it,” Dean says defensively.
Cas closes his eyes. “What does that mean?” he asks, his voice strained.
“It means I’m working on it,” Dean says shortly. But before Cas can press him further, he lets out an explosive sigh. “It means I don’t want to hear any more goodbyes from you. It means - it means that kiss wasn’t too bad, right?”
“I thought you were a fake version of yourself created to torture me for eternity,” Cas says flatly.
Dean props himself up on his elbows. “So all I’m hearing is there’s room for improvement.”
Cas rolls his eyes as Dean scoots closer, peering down at him. “I suppose that’s one way you could look at it.”
“Would you wanna... do something like that again?” Dean asks, his expression confident while his voice is anything but.
“Only if you want to,” Cas says seriously.
Dean licks his lips. He nods once, the movement stilted.
“Should I sit up?” Cas asks, frowning, as he half-lifts his head. “Or do you want to lay back down-”
“Cas,” Dean says impatiently, “it’s kissing we’re talking about here, not Twister.”
“I have played that game before.”
“Yeah, I remember now,” Dean says, a tentative smirk hiding in the corners of his mouth. “You ever do it naked?”
Cas frowns. “There was a strict policy against nudity in the psychiatric ward.”
Dean ducks his head, laughing silently. His forehead lands on Cas’s sternum, his breath warming Cas’s chest from the outside in.
“You were trying to say something arousing,” Cas says, a beat too late.
Dean shakes his head, grinning. “Something like that.”
“I would like to play naked Twister with you.”
Dean’s eyes sparkle with amusement. “Glad to hear it,” he says as he leans over Cas. Cas goes a bit cross-eyed to keep him in view until Dean murmurs, “Relax. ‘S just me.”
In the instant before their lips meet, Cas half-expects the whole world around him to splatter apart in a tidal wave of black, otherworldly goo. But Dean is gloriously solid, gloriously human, as he cradles Cas’s half-raised head, his fingers tangling in his hair. 
The midday sun shines; the grass whispers in the wind; and Cas is saved.
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matan4il · 2 years
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I would love it if you allowed me a scream into the void moment. No worries if you dont post. But I'm bothered today by antis.
Heres the thing I ship for leisure, I have shipped queer, straight canon ext. I have had ships sail, sink or die. When I'm on the 🤡 end of the ship it doesn't bother me. I get it. Eddie and Buck are canon "straight" on the show. I get why you think I'm a clown 🤡.
But heres the thing I dont get, why are antis not getting this writing isnt normal. I fully am prepared for Buddie not to happen, shit with my luck the will thing was because they plan to kill Eddie off because Ryan wants to leave and they want to keep Christopher with Buck and Taylor. However my point remains nothing about the writing of Eddie and Buck is typical and just admit it.
The constant queer baiting on the small scale mixed with your my kids legal gaurdian on the huge scale. Eddies panic attacks. The angst of Eddie leaving combined with all the Buck adondenemt issues and also Eddie stopping him from leaving. It just doesnt add up. And maybe I'm wrong, but also antis need to acknowledge this isnt normal and they could be wrong and not hate as much.
Hi Nonnie! You are ALWAYS welcome to scream whatever you need to in my inbox! *hugs*
I get what you're saying. I'm not sure I can say that I ship for leisure with the amount of meta'ing I have done, but I do generally believe in "live and let live" in fandom. Everyone's free to disagree with any of my meta's, to interpret things differently, to like whichever characters or ships they like, etc. I firmly believe that at the end of the day, fandom is what we do to help make real life (rl) better, so whatever brings people joy is fine in my book (as long as we're not talking downright offensive opinions).
But even so, I agree with you fully and think that there is something quite unusual about the writing for Buddie. 'Coz here's the thing, yeah, maybe if we search hard enough, we could find a good rl het explanation for everything Buddie have done/been through, but shows aren't rl. To make my point, in rl we go to the bathroom every day not long after we wake up. But we don't see it on screen. If we suddenly do see a character go to the bathroom in the morning, then something IS UP. Maybe we'll discover that they have some sort of a serious medical condition, or that she's pregnant. We don't know yet, but we know that there is some reason for why the show made this unusual choice, and that it's asking us to pay extra attention to this. The same thing can be said about the way Buddie has been written, there are a lot of unusual choices that beg us to pay attention to these two together, as partners and as a family unit with Chris. If you look at the sum of my meta, those are the choices that I'm trying to highlight, the ones that are out of the ordinary and that call attention to Buddie as possibly something other than friends... If a straight couple would have gotten this treatment, then even if they didn't eventually get together, I would fully expect at least one of them to have a feelings realization at some point (an example for that are Dean and Vic on Station 19, who got a lot of similar elements to Buddie, and where eventually Dean was forced to admit he's in love with Vic, even though the actor decided to leave the show before the two of them ever got the chance to get together).
Anyway, my point is you're right and I'm with you, and please feel free to use my meta as proof whenever you wanna point out that the writing for Buddie is NOT the standard writing for friends, even really good, close friends.
Thank you for sending this and big hugs to you! xoxox
To anyone else who sent me an ask, I am going through all of them, thank you so much for your patience! If you wanna check whether I've replied to yours yet, you can have a look at my ask tag. xoxox
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stellaestra · 3 years
Text
how would stray kids interact with mc in high school if they ever met? // high school au headcanons [stray kids/reader]
pairing: skz hyung line + mc [reader]
description: who would mc interact with in high school if they ever met? what kind of interactions would they have? // bulletpoints headcanons + small snippets
genre: platonic, high school au, friendship, humour, hurt/comfort
author’s note: this could be a stand alone or not, the mc is the same bodyguard/intern au!mc...it's just a "what ifs" kinda thing, fellas
p.s. some of the scenarios are based off real life events that happened to me in high school but i overly exaggerated some of them for the shit and giggles,, tell me which event actually happened to me in the askbox lmao I'm curious
pls I'm funny i swear
cw: minor swearing, just teenagers being teenagers, idiots, mention of blood (?) uhh mentions of violence (??)
unedited
// no beta read, we’ll die like men
---
bang chan
mc is a '00 liner,
she doesn't interact with her seniors pt.1
to interact with them; it would have to be a school event or a collab project between the seniors and the juniors
possibly would be approached first by chan during sports day or a school festival for something
he thought that she's a pretty decent track runner when he saw sprint during the sports day track event
after that incident, chan would greet her in the hallways or wherever if he ever comes across her
mc would always awkwardly greet him back
“hey! you’re that really fast track runner, you did great that day!” chan complimented her in the hallways. out loud.
mc prays to whoever above there that chan would stop talking so loud as she could feel her face burn when she felt eyes on her.
cue to her awkwardly smiling at him and nodding, “yep, that’s me, yes, alright, senior chan.”
chan finds her adorable ever since that first few encounters
he also found out that she hangs out with felix just as much as he does
(love rivals (for felix) arc when)
he doesn’t know who to be envious of
that mc gets to spend so much time with lix or
felix being able to spend so much time with her
the never-ending saga
(love rivals (for felix) arc turned into possible rivals to friends arc)
(okay, im joking)
their respective friends group made a running joke
about how chan and mc are love rivals for felix
(it eventually became theirs as well)
(it's funny)
once he made her go off-tangent about felix
she was really passionate about his freckles and smile
for a moment
he really did think that she has a crush on him
no surprises there tho
felix IS absolutely cute
(friends arc?? omg, all for felix, HA)
he really really finds her adorable
he could go on for days
esp her little habit of covering her mouth when she speaks
sweater paws bc he almost always sees her with a jacket on even if it was a hot day
it's like a second skin on her
he once asked her if she ever removes her jacket
“only when im on school ground or during school events like assembly, i’ll take it off, senior chan.”
“eh? don’t you feel warm underneath that during a hot day?”
“...i do remove it sometimes, i guess...but i like wearing it bc it’s comforting.”
one time chan saw her without her jacket and wears short-sleeves uniform, he really wanted to shower her in his affections n also it’s such a rare sight that he almost couldnt recognized her
“haha hey, you didn’t wore your jacket today!”
“they’re in the laundry and...today’s a hot day...unfortunately, haah.”
he once tried to ruffle her hair but found her dodging his hand so fast at breakneck speed
that he was kinda concerned
she told him that her hair hasn't been washed yet so it's dirty
but the thing is: she told him every time he tried to ruffle her hair
“you’re not letting me pat your head on purpose.”
“senior chan, i wouldn’t do such a thing.” he noticed the little teasing smile before it disappeared.
he wondered briefly if she has always been this playful and cheeky with others her age
chan is aware that she speaks formally towards him out of habit though so he lets it slide and let her take her time growing comfortable with him.
he knew she was lying but let's her be anyway
bc she's his cute little junior
---
lee minho
another case of mc's "no seniors juniors interaction"
minho’s very attractive so mc will definitely avoid him at all cost
plus, he looks intimidating to her so bye bye
to not step on any of her classmates' landmines that has the hots for him
drama isn't her thing, she already witness a handful and even got thrown into the fire as fuel before
no thank you she liked having her life in high school as peaceful as possible
mc would make her conversations with him very short n blunt
she's not gonna catch anyone's hands today, my dudes
really, she doesn’t
minho thinks of her like a small kitten that needs to be taken care of
bc of how she always scutters away from chan whenever he’s with him
if they ever interact
it would be when the juniors have the collab with their seniors
like a science fair, where the students have to come up with things to showcase
his class coincidentally collabs with her class for that particular event
he told chan about it and he have never seen chan pout and deflate like that
the only person he does that to is felix...if not, it’s jeongin.
chan sure adores this little junior other than felix huh…
then again, felix and mc does hangout a lot and so does jisung and her
so he took this chance as to know more abt her
coughs because jisung seems to be talking a lot about her coughs
(minho + mc love rivals (for jisung) arc pt. 2 when)
(mc really about to fight 2 seniors because she's stealing their respective juniors huh)
(the never-ending saga of love rivals)
he approached her inside that shared classroom for the collab event
she looked constipated when he approached her group of friends
even more so when he directly asked for name and whatnot
it kinda made him want to tease her even more now
he found out her name and what they were planning to do
heard her cursing under her breath
he decided to join their group on the whim
found out that mc is just a little shy whenever he approached her
her friends are somewhat protective of her
he got glared at by one of them once when he wanted to greet mc in the hallways
and mc kind of hid half of herself behind them
so whenever she’s on her own, he would try to approach her as slowly as possible
like. dealing with a cat and you’re a stranger trying to gain their trust
what he never will forget nor stop teasing her was about
her spinning on her heels to walk into the direction she was previously coming from
just to avoid him
he couldn't help but find it hilarious
he won her over when he brings the topic of cats wandering around their school campus
saw how her eyes lit up brightly
“the stray cats here are fun to play with, right?”
“yeah, me and friends decided to name a few of them too!”
he mentioned it to her because he saw her playing with the cats when she was waiting for someone or when she has time to play with them during recess
and the ramblings of a high schooler about cats commences
he wasn’t bothered about how much she talked
would nod along with what she says
because wow, shes really passionate about cats
that's a huge bonus for minho
and that was how minho adopted another kitten
whenever they weren’t busy with their own things, they would play with the cats together
playdate with cats <3
she would tell him that one particular grey cat was called
“this cat’s name is miss universe! they’re so cute, right?” she picked the cat up and cuddle with it, eyes sparkling with joy
“why did you guys name them that?”
“because why not?”
“fair enough point.”
and she laughs
he was glad that she stopped being so cautious around him if he was being honest
since the way chan was talking about her so affectionately made him really curious about her
casually mentions that jisung talks about her a lot
expected her to be bashful about it
but all she does was
“oh, cool, what did he say? I’m a weeb? Hah, he’s the same as I am” + "he should've said to it my face, senior minho, hmph"
so making her flustered backfired on him
poor minho
here’s your “you tried” star
mwah
so yeah, minho adopted a new cat (his little junior)
---
seo changbin
same case as the two above, unfortunately
if they do ever interact, it's short and pleasantries
mc does kinda find him intimidating to certain extent
she's not good with dealing with intimidating looking people
but when he smiles, her shoulders feel less tense when she interacts with him
thinks of him as a pretty cool senior
he made her listen to his rap once n she told him that he's so cool n that stuck with him for days
imagine a junior telling you that you're so cool with that starry-eyed expression
your ego would go off the rooftop
after that, changbin would make it out of his way to greet her in the hallways
RAP MUSIC BUDDIES???? POTENTIAL
pat her on the head occasionally
if she doesn't dodge like hell away from his hands
“why do you keep avoiding them”
“no, don’t pat me, you’re treating me like a cat”
“I’m not?” lies, ever since minho told him that she reminds him of a cat, he really thought about it more
“you have that same look minho gives me when he tries to pat me…hyung…”
“we’re really going to make you call us oppa one day, watch us”
“um, yeah, no.”
“let your cute senior pat your head!!”
“im gonna run away!”
he knows that the younger ones in their friend group do interact with her
esp felix and jisung
for innie’s circumstances, that’s different
she does comes to him every once in awhile to abuse her title of his cute little junior to get a chance to listen to a teaser of his raps or songs he composes
found out that she does like rap songs! a lot more than he thought
they became those friends who shares new songs they found out and share it with each other
even at ungodly hours like 2am in the morning
that would not stop them
“this song reminds me of you”
“hey hey hey listen to this, psst”
“This shit SLAPS, go listen or else im gonna fight you in the school hallway, coward”
he became smug about it and boast about his knowledge to 3racha
jisung complained that he thought she only listened to anime songs or soft indie songs because he saw her playlists before
changbin told them that she has other playlists that’s for more “intense and aggressive” songs
they were floored and the conversation starts like this,
“what do you mean she likes listening to yours and ours music and raps?”
“im not kidding, she does! she even showed me her playlists that were filled with rap, rock and metal songs!!”
“my little mc? likes those songs? are you sure you’re not dreaming?”
“it’s a public playlist, i even followed her playlists”
“If you’re wrong, hyung, im really gonna fight you on this! bc I KNOW her first”
“doesn’t mean that you know her BETTER”
lots of petty bickerings
chan and jisung has a big revelation about mc that day at school
(there goes mc’s little rep within their group of friends)
he did warned them to not tell her that he told them about it and
that they actually are aware of her music taste
or else
she tried to rap really fast one time, trying to rap like how he does
he had to witness her biting her tongue live
changbin would never think someone like her would have
such a vulgar language
every profanity he knows came out of her mouth
he quickly got her something to soothe her wounded tongue
after fretting over her though, he started teasing her
relentlessly
she threatened to sue him
"I'll sue you"
"with what money?"
"my 2 fucking dollars lunch money!"
"that's not enough to pay anything, not even your attorney!"
"fight me!"
he’s that older brother figure that mc would come to whenever she has no one to tell her woes to
their relationship turned out to have lots of playful banters and teasings
he gives very comforting hugs and pats
mc doesn’t want to admit it tho
well, until, changbin caught her snuggling into his hugs one fine day
“admit it, you like them, you like my hugs”
“okay, fine, i DO like them, they’re great hugs, don’t let it go to your head.”
“I KNEW IT”
“You’re so loud, shut up, hyung!”
“OH MY GOD, YOU FINALLY ADMIT TO IT, IM GONNA TELL THE WORLD-KSDFNKSDNF-”
"FUCK- I SAID, SHUSH"
rip in peace, changbin
he didn’t expect someone like her would have so much strength to smother his mouth with her hand and shut it
the more you know
curiousity killed the cat????
---
hwang hyunjin
avoidance at all cost (pt.2) despite being in the same year
why? exhibit a: he's considered very attractive in her year and that her classmates n batch mates have crushes on him
coughs one of the school princes coughs
their batch year prince
she's really gonna swerve away from him
interactions will be kept at a bare minimum
one time hyunjin n some others wanted to borrow a textbook from their class because they have forgotten theirs n he chose hers
she could feel cold sweat forming as she feels the death stare of some of her classmates
that gta [wasted] sfx whenever ur character dies
yeah that's mc
that was probably the last time she would even think about it
when he returned it back to her, he smiled at her, the really cute eye smile and she felt like she made the target on her back bigger lol
goodbye mc you've lived a good life
your friends will definitely will play never gonna give you up during your funeral (it's a promise)
jokes aside
hyunjin would probably noticed the panicked look in her eyes and wondered why
since his friends like felix and...jisung...and seungmin are like on good terms with her
he probably wondered about it a lot
borderlines on overthinking since both felix and jisung are particularly close to her
so she should know that he’s friends with them
ever since that encounter, it would come across his head whenever he saw her hanging out freely with felix or jisung or both of them
or when he come across her in the hallways
sometimes he wants to greet her but it feels like it would scare her away
esp when she looks ready to run into the opposite direction
if he ever made eye contact with her
so his plan to befriend mc has started
tried to join into the trio hangout; jisung, felix and mc
mc never did protest his presence like at all
but does occasionally look stiff when he's near her
eventually shes comfortable enough with him
but not enough to actually hang out with him alone though
that thought kind of made him feel envious towards the other boys
and a little left out
as a teenager, he has too many emotions to handle so
jisung and felilx caught the idea and told him to let her
take her time because she kinda. shy. (???)
that didn't stop him from mulling over it tho sometimes
one day he found her waiting at the bus stop
it was in the evening, she was still in her school uniform
he was kinda on an errand run too
kinda didn’t want to sit on the same bench as her
afraid that she might run away
she noticed him standing there eventually albeit very anxiously and kinda awkward
a casual greeting slipped past her lips which shocked hyunjin to his very core
he splutters back a reply
“on an errand run, errand boy?"
"huh?"
“uh, um, pretend that i didn’t say anything.”
“right, sure, but may i sit next to you, the bus seemed to be late and my legs are kinda tired.”
“oh, uh, yeah, sure, but you didn’t have to ask, y’know?”
“well, didn’t wanna scare you off…"
“it’s nothing personal, if that’s what you’re worried about,” + “it’s just. didn’t wanna step on a landmine and the girls in our batch seemed to adore you a lot and me being close to you might set off the wrong signal…?”
“that’s absurd, you’re...being unreasonable..i mean, its none of their business-!”
“i know, im sorry, my bad, it’s not your fault either, it’s not anyone’s fault, to be honest.”
for a moment, he found her reasoning to be petty and unreasonable until it finally clicks inside her head, from her point of view when he really thought it through.
“...no wait, im sorry, i think, i kinda get why when i really thought about it.”
“yeah, it’s no biggie, don’t worry, im sorry too, we’ll both get over it”
“...um, we’re friends, right?”
“...i suppose so, if you dont mind, dummy.”
a giddy smile crossed his face while mc struggles to not stare at him looking so cute like that as she coughs into her hand, avoiding eye-contact
pretty boys have too much power in their hands
and she’s one of their fallen victims towards their charms
this isn’t fair for her heart
so when the bus arrived
they sat beside each other on the bus
hyunjin did most of the chattering while mc listens
he was so glad he cleared smth up with her
if she allows it, he would definitely tried to hug her
until he remembers that one time changbin told him he almost got punch in the face by her
when he tried doing it the first time and startled her
yeah no not now
maybe sometime in the near future, a long-awaited hug would be great
(if he was honest tho, he really wanted to cry when she told him the truth)
(it felt like a heartache)
but it’s okay now though
they’re friends now (somewhat) and that’s all that matters
---
[masterlist]
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