#i am not going to post anything else ic for connor until i do at least one of these So I Can Be Sure I Write Them

[maskthesimp]

Cold Blooded, Warm Hearted - Malia Tate x Self-Insert

Warnings: mentions of child abuse, general violence and gore, crude language, monsters

If you wish to follow this fanfic more closely (as it will be a full on book hopefully) check my Wattpad in the Pinned post! It just makes everything easier~ XOXO

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Chapter 1: Paths Crossed

"Bring him," a voice rings out, fire crackles as chains gently rattle against parallel stone pillars. Echoes of footsteps ring through the halls, coming to a whisper as they enter an open space, the ground lined with sand, crunching under the small boots of he who entered the ceremony room.

"You, child of Connor, Lord of the West Territories; Here you shall evolve. Shed your skin, accept your heritage and become one of us! Take your first kill, and burn away the weakness that plagues you," the voice continues to boom through the vast space, voices whispering and muttering as the small figure makes it's way closer to the rattling chains, "Are you ready, my child?" The voice booms as a man groans, his chains shake and knock together, the heat of the fire laying ontop of his skin like a blanket waiting leap and turn him to ash, "...I am!".

Two cloaked men, jam their spears to the ground next to the younger figure, and take their place next to the chained man, "It's time for you to evolve," says the left man, "Shed your humanity." Says the man on the right. A chant erupts in the observing crowd, 'kill, shed, evolve...kill, shed, evolve...'

The young, small figure slowly walks towards the rattling chains, and the bare man constricted by them. He looks at his hands as ash red claws crawl their way out of his formerly human finger tips, wine red scales peel back up his arm, waist, chest, neck, and face, amber rings brand his once ivy green orbs. "Kill, shed, evolve," the two men echo, gripping the edges of two stone bowls on either side of the chained man, filled to the brim with molten rock, glowing with the licks of flames. The ash red claws glint in the light of the flames, and swing down, sending flicks of blood to the ground, as they melt into the already red scales of the young figure's hands.

The chant continues, over and over again, 'kill, shed, evolve, kill, shed, evolve..', the first stage having been complete. The child winces in fear and nearly stumbles back, but holds himself steady, as the two men release the heated rocks onto the scaled child. A piercing scream erupts into a roar as flames slither their way across the child's body, when he opens his eyes in agony, the burning Amber rings are replaced by a now cold, blue glow.

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[Beacon Hills High-school, Last Period]

"Hey do you guys wanna study after hours?" Stiles asks, standing up from his seat. "I need to, I have a maths test coming up soon," Malia responds, a slight pout growing on her face as she reminds herself of her least favourite class. "Cool, I'll help you out!" A tall, dark boy stands from his seat aswell, Scott, he follows his girlfriend, Malia, and his best friend, Stiles, out of the classroom. They make their way up the stairs, running into their resident Banshee, and Stiles' girlfriend, Lydia, eventually reaching the doors of the library.

They settle down at one of the central desks, each opening their books and beginning to study for their respective classes. "Ya know, we haven't had anything supernatural happen in the past few months, it gives me bad tingles in my feet, like something is gonna happen soon," Stiles squirms in his seat with his his chin resting in his palm, Lydia agrees with Stiles, "Yeh you're right, it does seem weird doesn't it? Maybe The Beast was the last big bad in Beacon Hills. Seems fitting that our last one would be the first Werewolf killed by an Argent." Scott turns to his friend, somewhat rolling his eyes, "C'mon Stiles, you're being paranoid! Not everything is supernatural in this town, we can go one year without finding a body, or having kidnappings, or giant phantom werewolves tearing people apart!" Stiles looks down at his open book, a concentrated frown on his face, "Yeh I guess you're right.."

The conversation moves on, everyone but Stiles focusing on other things. A few minutes pass, before Stiles pipes up about a new face who's entered the library,with long brown and blonde hair, light denim jeans, and a black jacket. "Who's that? I don't recognise them from the new Freshmen, are they a transfer student?" The person wanders over to the Anthropology section, also known as where the stories on Mythological creatures are, "I think so, I've seen them at the Jujitsu hall, I think they were signing up," Malia answers Stiles' characteristically unrelated and random question. She gazes off at the new figure, watching them wander around, their raw fingertips glazing over the spines of each book they pass, until eventually they stop and open one, setting themselves down at a desk behind theirs. Scott turns to his girlfriend, a confused expression stapled to his face, "Why were you near the jujitsu Hall? None of us have a single class near there." Malia directs her attention back to Scott and her friends, her focus on the new teen broken, "Hm? I find it entertaining, why else?" She says as if it's blatantly obvious, which to her friends; it is, almost confused as to why Scott would even bother asking. "They seem like they're around our age, I'm just surprised anyone is even bothering coming to Beacon Hills High anymore, let alone what appears to be a transfer student." Lydia looks up from her notes, also oddly transfixed by the person, who is now deeply involved in their own selected book, "You sure they're our age, Lydia? They're kinda short, maybe puberty is stuck in traffic for them," a chuckle comes from the group's friends Liam, Corey and Mason as they sit down next to the main four, with Scott's Beta, Liam glancing at them each one at a time as a silent greeting. "No, they likely have some form of Dwarfism, a condition that essentially puts a limiter on how tall someone can grow, although there's hundreds of different types so I can't for sure say which one they may have.." Lydia responds almost distantly, still keeping a keen yet seemingly misty eye on the new kid, everyone taking a glance at her, not at all surprised by her scientific knowledge anymore, before they all go back to silently watching the figure.

After a while Stiles stands up, and begins making his way towards the new kid's desk, but not before Scott questions what he's doing, "I'm gonna go talk to them! Every time a mysterious new student shows up something happens, what if we have another Liam? Another time bomb?" Stiles points out, accidentally taking a small dig at their friend with I.E.D, "Hey! That was Scott's fault, I didn't come here as a wolf!" Liam retorts, glaring at Stiles with a frustrated gesture, "Well technically you got yourself tossed off the side of a building, so it was sorta your fault," Mason pipes up, "That was the wendigo's fault! Not mine!" The Beta reminiscences over the time he got bitten by Scott, when he fell off the hospital roof after he was hunted by a hungry Wendigo. "Alright enough! I'm going to talk to this kid and see what their deal is, okay?" Stiles eventually interrupts the debate, settling to try and conversate with this strange new face, "Who's to say they're anything at all? You don't need to be suspicious of every new person ya know," Malia points out to Stiles, shrugging her shoulders, "listen I always trust my gut, they transferred to Beacon Hills High even after everything that's happened here, and oh look! They're reading a book on supernatural creatures! That's not suspicious at all!" The skeptic says sarcastically, before stumbling over to the desk the young figure is sitting at.

He sets himself down clumsily, glancing between the person and their book, "So..a fantasy lover?" Stiles awkwardly asks the stranger sitting before him, he looks up from his reading in an almost panicked state, suddenly closing his book most of the way, "Oh um--..Hi, yeh, just studying for History," They let out a small, awkward chuckle before introducing themselves, "Cael by the way!" They reach out, shaking Stiles' hand as he too introduces himself, "So, you a fan of Mythology too, huh?" Cael attempts to break the Ice a little, worried that his social anxiety was showing, "Yeh," Stiles stares at the back of Cael's chosen book, somewhat zoning out while reading the title; 'The Extensive History and Physiology of Dragons throughout History'. "So, you're a dragon lover aswell then?" Stiles questions the kid's taste in History so Cael explains their history project, "Pff no, I have quite the distaste for them in fact, the history project is to study a part of any culture that we fear, whether it be real, religious, or historical events that took place in a Country's past," he awkwardly shifts in his seat, explained away by his discomfort with the Winged creatures depicted in his selected book, "So, what makes you dislike them so much, just scary? Or a separate reason..?" Stiles lightly stares at the androgynous figure sitting across from him with suspicion he hopes isn't noticeable, "Because they're the most scientifically realistic, in most cases," he responds with a deadpan and almost cold stare. Stiles' mind starts running wild with theories on every word Cael spoke, the way he said them, and other meanings of what he could've meant, his gut giving him more feeling than ever that Cael wasn't who they said they were.

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[Scott's House]

"Scott I'm telling you! This kid is shifty as hell! I checked with some of the people in his class, and they don't have a history homework even close to what he described!" Stiles points out his evidence for Cael's lying, showing his continued distrust for the young lad, "Maybe he just wanted to learn about Dragons, people have interests, Stiles!" Scott argues with his friend, while he watches him rummage through his desk, clearly searching for something, "Why would he lie about something like that? What's the point of lying about an interest in something such as dragons? Why not tell the truth, unless the truth is something you wish to keep hidden?" Stiles finally appears to find what he's looking for, he holds up a hard drive that Scott recognises, the Bestiary that used to belong to the Argents.

Stiles plugs in the Bestiary to his computer, and loads up the index. He scrolls down to the Dragons section and look through it for a while, reading some useful parts out loud; "Much like other shape shifters, dragons appear as human...Dragons have various species among their communities...they have a similar hierarchy system to ancient Kings and Queens of the English Empire..." Scott looks over Stiles' shoulder, silently reading along with him, "Stiles you should head to bed, it's late and we can talk more tomorrow. Listen if something is up with this kid, then we'll eventually find out, but other than a natural interest in fire breathing lizards, he hasn't acted suspicious in the slightest." Stiles turns his spinning chair around to face Scott, "Scott, he said he hates dragons and has a fear of them," Scott's face sinks with confusion, he asks what the skeptic is talking about and Stiles responds, "Whenever I was talking to him, he said that he had a really bad fear of Dragons, when I asked why all they said was because they're the most likely supernatural creature to be exist, is that not in the least bit suspicious?" The Werewolf stands up properly, thinking in silence for a few seconds, "Scott you didn't trust me with Theo, or when I realised I was the one who wrote Kira's name on the chalk board, I just need you to trust my gut this one time!" Stiles begs his friend to go along with his hunch, but Scott seems to be somewhat distant, until he snaps his head up "He could be a hunter! Maybe he's not a supernatural but a hunter!" Stiles claps his hands and points a praising finger towards his best friend, "Yes! Now you're following along! That explains why he was researching dragons, he wasn't studying them for himself, he was trying to figure out ways to defend himself or--"

"Kill them.." Scott quickly interrupts, his gaze sinking to the floor, "That's it, tomorrow we inform the rest of the Pack, and we find him. We'll question him, if my hunch is right and he's a hunter, then he poses a risk to all of us. Including any humans who are involved with protecting the supernatural, aka me! I only have a metal bat to protect myself so it'd be nice to have a heads up on this guy!" Stiles retorts with a snarky undertone, Scott nods his head, agreeing and saying goodnight to his partner in crime before heading home, the last thing he needs is his girlfriend climbing through the window to find his room Scott-less.

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[hollenka99]

A Day Long Overdue

Summary: Jack is allowed to spend his birthday with the egos. (Essentially a sequel to A Talk With The Creator).

Hey, guess which AU isn’t dead! It’s been like 3 months since I last posted something for the Creator AU (or anything for that matter) but I’m back. Have some bittersweet fluff with a hint of angst.

Jack wakes up, older than he remembers being. He's in a bed, a medical one at that. It would appear he was in Schneep's medical bay. There is no recollection of being sent here. The grogginess is interfering with that. He should probably find an assistance button to alert the doctor. That's when he notices the cards. Upon further inspection, he can only assume these are for a birthday. His birthday. He is able to read some of them before a commotion is heard in a different part of the building. Henrik stands in the doorway, seemingly incapable of not staring at him. Unsure of how to break the ice, Jack comes out with "I guess I'm not 27 anymore, am I?" "Not really." His doctor remains stationary, smiling until his attention diverts to the collection of footsteps approaching. "Wait! He's not ready yet." "Schneep, what the hell are you doing? We want to see Jack too." That sounded like Chase. "Just one minute." Henrik points to someone Jack can't see. "You see him first." "So it is your birthday today. We got you cards and presents. But there is something I think you will like better than all that." "What is it then?" Jack smiles humourously. Schneep turns his head back to the corridor. "Come now." Dressed in jogging bottoms and a hoodie which swallowed him, a teenager stepped into his view. Eyes brim the longer he takes in the image of Jack sitting up in bed. His face has matured a little since they'd last been in the same room. All those months he'd been petrified at the thought of him being hurt while held captive, where he'd pointlessly jotted down memorable events in the hope the youngest ego was still alive to possibly read them one day. All that fruitless hoping and searching must have finally produced a result. It had caused him to be standing feet away. The kid even had a bit of a quiff going on. Jackie. Fuck, this was Jackie. "Hey." Jack breathes out an incredulous "No way." Jackie takes a seat on the bed. The hero's embrace is stronger than the one he can return. Jack gets so lost in mutterings of 'Oh my god' and 'You're okay' that it accidentally becomes melded together at one point. When they both register the blunder, they dissolve into snickers. "I think I forgot how to English properly." "I think so too." "How long have you been back?" "September 2017." "We missed each other by a month?" Jack stares at the baby of their little family. "Yeah." "That sucks." "You have no idea." Tears are wiped but it proves futile as they are immediately replaced. "We've all missed you so much." "You can say that again." Jack glances past Jackie's shoulder to see a small crowd crammed by the entrance to the room. Before he is allowed to greet anyone else, Henrik insists on detaching him from as many wires as was necessary. Once given the all clear, Jack is left beaming as he is encompassed by three of his friends. Chase has a revelation about someone who shouldn't be missing out on the action. He sprints down the corridor to fetch them. He is perched on the bed, assuring Henrik he felt absolutely fine, when the two return. One near-inaudible 'Crikey!' is all it takes for him to freeze. Surely not. Yet there was one of his oldest friends. Angus didn't appear so run down. Was this for real? First Jackie was home and now Angus was healthier. He hadn't been awake for very long and it is already shaping to be a fantastic day. "You look much better than the last time I saw you." "Speak for yourself, mate." He can't help but sob as he approaches Angus. At least the survival hunter wasn't leaving him to be the only one. He is so grateful for the others allowing the two of them to stay in each other's hold for as long as they needed. It's been so long since his Australian friend has been this present. God, it's been so so very long. Despite Henrik not being sure it was for the best, the five of them lead Jack to the living room. Apparently, they had bought a cake to commemorate the day. He had always been partial to red velvet. Although, thinking about it, that was likely the point of them picking that flavour. Cake was still cake either way. He wasn't going to pass up the opportunity for a slice. He notices a German Shepherd hovering by Jackie. He assures his dog that she doesn't need to work at that moment. Work? Gwen, Jackie clarifies, is a service dog to help with his mental health. She sleeps in his room and keeps him company for most occasions excluding his heroing duties. Oh, okay. Well, that just makes her even more of a good girl, doesn't it? Marvin mentions the expansion of his cat collection. Hardeen and Houdini tended to do their own thing while Trico was up for cuddles most of the time. There was also his rabbit whom he had dubbed Tim the Enchanter. Hang on, hang on, so Marvin was saying that not only did he have the Egyptian goddess of cats but also one of the best known magicians in history and his brother, the best fictional creature in gaming as well as a minor character in Monty Python as pets? The magician's completely straight expression as he challenges Jack to fight him causes him to burst into laughter. Trico turning out to be from a small breed makes it all the better. Chatter explodes between the group over cake slices. Okay, let him get this straight. He has been a coma for the past year and a half. Schneep still isn't sure what exactly the illness that caused this was. Regardless, it's good to have him conscious once more. It is not his 28th birthday as he had initially presumed but his 29th. In that time, a fan game was released which aided in Angus regaining some strength. There were four new egos: a community-conceived zombie called Robbie, Shawn Flynn who was born from a Bendy voice acting gig. Jameson Jackson the pumpkin carving actor that communicated via BSL and an android nicknamed S34Nnor. On top of all that, there was a significant lack of green in anyone's hair. Jack wasn't going to say it out loud but perhaps Chase's beard could use a trim. Not only was Sean doing voice acting gigs, he had travelled across America and Europe with his own comedy show. He was interviewing celebrities too. Sorry, what do they mean, Sean met Ryan Reynolds?! Wow, that was huge. They mention Sean also hanging out with some guy called Bryan Dechart but that name doesn't ring bells. "Okay, Chase, do the line." Jackie encourages. "Alright but that was Sean's series so... keep that in mind." Chase take a breath in preparation then, "Hi, I'm Connor, the android sent by Cyberlife." They all cheer and laugh at that. S34Nnor speaks up. "As a combination of both the character of Connor and Sean, I believe I can improve upon your already good attempt." The line is repeated and everyone becomes excitable once more. "Yes!" The outburst is Chase's as he points to the android with a grin. When the noise has died down again, his expression appears to make his new words honest. "I'm planning on stealing that jacket one day." "You're going to have to fight me for it." Jackie gives a disingenuous glare. "Besides, I'm part machine now sooo go off, I guess." Jack loves the atmosphere. It's been years since it has been this lively here. If this was February 2019 then it must be over two years since their household has been whole. After Halloween 2016, they lost Jackie's playfulness. His absence had been deeply felt throughout the house. It didn't matter now. Who cares if he's so out of the loop that this Cyberlife stuff and any other running jokes don't make sense to him? This house has been missing this sort of energy. He refuses to risk killing it. However, one comment piques his interest. Something tells him to broach this subject carefully. It seemed like it may be sensitive. "Part machine?" "Oh right. Well, I don't technically have any knees anymore." Jackie gestures to his legs. "Prosthetics, both of them." That made sense, given the comment. It doesn't faze him in the slightest that Jackie has had life altering surgery at such a young age. Nope, not at all. "....Prosthetics." "Yeah, it's not that big of a deal. I just hurt my legs when I was getting out." "He has been doing very well with the physical therapy." Henrik smiles. Coming back with a drink in hand and a grin, Jacques pats the superhero's shoulder. "Got a little crush too. What is her name? Aisha?" "Nyesha. And I don't have a crush on her. We're just friends. Not even close ones at that. Tori is aesthetically admirable too." "What a sophisticated way of pronouncing attractive." Marvin teases. "Stop!" The hood was up now with the surrounding strings yanked. "Okay, okay, I think I've got the idea." Jack leans closer. "Promise me you'll let me know if you ask her or anyone else out, alright?" Out of resignation, Jackie mumbles out a "Sure.", only to sit up and divert the attention to the magician. "Marv has a partner though." "Oh, does he?" At this, the new subject of the conversation chuckles, happily telling Jack whatever he wants to know. Jack tries to protest when Jackie is given alcohol. With a soft smile, the youngest member of this family reminded Jack he was 18 now. Of course he is. It was 2019. Jackie has been 18 for some seven months now. July next year, he'll be entering his 20s. Actually, now that Jack thought about it, he and Sean would be 30 next February. Well then. That wasn't crazy to think about. Speaking of Sean, the two of them should really sit down and have a discussion. Although hazy, memories were slowly converging to form recollections of the disastrous dispute. There was a lot to talk about. He's lost eighteen months of his life. There were amendments to be made. If Sean's been on a worldwide tour, he wants to hear about it from the horse's mouth. That must have been an amazing experience. And Signe, he wonders how she's doing. He always regretted the way she kept getting indirectly caught up in his and Sean's dysfunctional friendship. He should wish Sean a happy birthday. That's probably a decent first step to brokering peace. Plus, if his long time friend woke up from a coma on his birthday, that would probably make his day. Jack can only hope Sean would agree. He makes an off-hand comment about this. The idea of reconciling with Sean gets shot down within seconds. Jesus, he doubts he's seen this level of hatred in Marvin towards anyone other than Anti. What the hell did Sean do to warrant this sort of universal repulsion towards him? "Trust me, you do not want to know." Henrik grumbles. Right. In that case, he'd better leave it until tomorrow. Jack is careful when enquiring about Chase and Henrik's families. He's pleasantly surprised when it is generally positive. Chase sees his kids on weekends now which is fantastic. But surely Noah couldn't be little over a week away from turning 5. He was just 3. Willow and Alina were much more confident readers. Jack remembers two little girls who struggled to piece together syllables in simple sentences. They would both be beginning primary school in September. Likewise, Elias was already in his first year of secondary school. Could people stop getting older? He can't keep up. He laughs with them when Chase says "You think they're growing up too fast for you." They order pizza in the evening. Schneep is still against him eating solid food but relents once more. Jack has eaten cake today and there have been no repercussions. As Jacques and Jackie debate with Angus about whether stuffed crust enhanced the experience, Jack took the opportunity to get to know Jameson. With Chase translating, he discovers this is a unique ego. An entire life before coming to exist here. It's such a novel concept to Jack. Even he, as the first ego Sean ever made, can't imagine having proper memories prior to creation. He's used to the others being born with limited memories. Man, he could listen to this guy's anecdotes of the early 20th century all night if he and Chase were willing to carry on that long. They are still hanging around in the living room as midnight is crossed. Some egos have already excused themselves to retire to bed. Once Jack realises it is nearing 1am, he urges everyone else to head to their beds. They shouldn't stay up for him. Besides, he was the one who didn't sleep, remember. He would never wish for them to become sleep deprived for his sake. They refuse and remain. Before long, the man who never slept was experiencing long blinks. Was he tired? Wait, no, this isn't right. The only time he's felt this close to collapse is when... when it's a medical emergency. Like when his throat was bleeding. Or when all he knew was that he didn't feel well. Henrik crouches before him, steadying him in his hold. It's not okay. Stop saying it's going to be okay. Something's wrong, incredibly wrong. Henrik takes his hands, encouraging him to stand. The doctor explains it's likely the sudden regaining of consciousness is catching up with him. Assurances that it was perfectly fine for him to be feeling like this are repeated as they head towards the infirmary. All Henrik wanted to do was monitor him safely. Jack's arm couldn't help slipping from where it was wrapped across his friend's shoulder. Schneep adjusted it without hesitation every time. He defies his eyes any attempt they make to gain an advantage over him. Even when laying on the bed, he refuses the urge to relax. Henrik promises nothing will happen. He is as much of a Good Doctor as he is his friend, right? Please trust he will try to provide the best care he's able. He knows he has failed him before but- "Never!" Jack protests. "You are little bit tired. Is okay for you to sleep. Don't need to fight the sleep, my friend." "Not..." He drifts, only to remember himself a minute later. "Not a failure." "Thank you. Now please rest. We can have a lot of the chit chatting in the morning, yes?" "A'right." A roll of the eyes. A drowsy half smile. A prolonged exhale. And that's all it takes for them to lose him once more. No matter how much Henrik sits, gripping his friend's hand as the monitors revert to the figures they were displaying previously, it won't prove helpful in the slightest to permanently wake Jack up. When Marvin regretfully comes to urge him to get some sleep himself, Henrik waves him off. Just a few more minutes, okay? Then he'll go to bed. As much as they had to fault Sean on, they couldn't say he hadn't done something good today. Henrik can only hope Jack had enjoyed his birthday. Maybe they'd be able to celebrate with him next year too. Maybe. Either way, he couldn't stay here the whole night. With a final check of the equipment, he bids him goodnight. "One of these days, we will get longer. I promise."

[getoutofthewater]

@dbhrarepairs Tuesday Day 2: Highschool AU / Unrequited

[Gavin/Leo]

Rating:  G

Warnings: None

Words: 2,266 [AO3 Link]

Notes: Leo’s visit to Carl is based on Indig0’s beautiful short [Let Down]

He went over his calculus homework as he waited for the usual tap on his window, calculus was fucking useless but he needed a decent grade if he wanted to stay in the wrestling team, and Elijah had already told him he wasn’t going to help him cheat, the prick. 

Gavin turned on his desk lamp, glanced at the window, it was getting dark and that idiot hadn’t arrived. Gavin frowned without meaning too, Leo was not a creature of habit, he’d start something and leave it half done because a moth or similar distracted him, but he always came on Thursdays after his ice skating lessons. He’d done so since they had met in 7th grade, and from then to now at 16 It had never failed, not even that time Leo had broken his wrist trying out a jump that was too hard for him yet, the idiot still climbed up to his window instead of knocking at the door like a sane person.

If Gavin wasn’t there when he arrived, he’d come in and just live it up in Gavin’s bedroom as if it were his own, Leo had no shame, Leo didn’t really think before he acted and maybe that was the only reason they were friends, anyone who actually spared a thought to their actions wouldn’t walk up to Gavin and just start making conversation. Gavin had a total of 3 close friends, Tina who was his friend because they had known each other since they ate crayons, Elijah because he was his cousin and Gavin was going to live with him and his Aunt and Uncle for the foreseeable future and Leo, because Leo was a fool.

“Mom says she’s leaving dinner for us in the fridge” Elijah knocked at his door “You and Leo can come get it whenever, I’ll be working on my robot”

His cousin looked like a sleep deprived, sickly raccoon, same creepy long-fingered, clammy human-like hands and nocturnal habits. Gavin had been living with him for years now and he still wondered if Elijah actually slept, or ate, or did anything else that normal people did. His cousin looked around the room “Where is he?”

Gavin shrugged “Who knows, I’m not that idiot’s keeper”

“Did you have fight?” Elijah asked, this was unusual, his cousin usually avoided conversation as much as he could (unless it was about code or robots or computers) Gavin could relate to that (not the robots part), maybe it was a family trait like the coffee addiction.

“What did you do?” Elijah asked

“Nothing” Gavin huffed, at least nothing he was conscious of

“You should ask Tina what was it that you did” Elijah said

“Why the hell are you fixating on this?” Gavin said irritably

“He’s always here on Thursdays” Elijah unlike Leo was very much a creature of habit “He’s often here, but he never fails on Thursdays, mom even counts him for dinner, he was here even when he broke his wrist or last year when he got mono”

Leo’s mom had come to retrieve him 3 times ‘I don’t even feel that bad,’ Leo had said before falling asleep immediately, drooling his mono infected spit right into Gavin’s pillow covers.

“He must have forgotten” Gavin said “He’s busy with school and shit,”

“I’d ask Tina to make sure if I were you” Elijah said before closing the door to Gavin’s room.

Gavin finished his homework, glancing at the empty window far too often for comfort, he had the dinner his aunt had left in the fridge while Leo’s share remained uneaten; he prepared to go to bed putting on the old hoodie and sweats he wore to sleep. Once there he checked his email, nothing new, checked the social media accounts that Leo and Tina had made him open. Leo had no new posts.

“Did I do anything?” he texted

“U r using your words!!! Must be important” Tina replied

He usually only communicated through emojis Tina and Leo could read like hieroglyphics

“Did I do anything?” Gavin texted again

“Did you?”

“Tina…”

“What u mean?”

“Did I do anything, as in worse than usual?”

“Well you DID punch Connor in the stomach for NO GOOD REASON, and you told Mr. Anderson he stank of booze to his face, and you did throw your coffee right to Richard’s head, everyone knows it was on purpose by the way, and you pushed Simon out of your way, you can be such an absolute bully sometimes, that kid looks like a dying victorian child”

… Tina is typing

“I don’t give a fuck about any of that, I mean to Leo and shit”

Tina stopped typing and restarted again

“Not that I know of, why? Did he say anything?”

“He didn’t come today”

“Oh shoot!” Tina texted back “It mustn’t have gone great with his dad then”

Phck, Gavin had forgotten that was today.

Leo had gone on and on about how his mom was going to take him to meet his dad for the very first time this week, he was some famous, rich art geezer or something. Gavin didn’t fucking understand why Leo was so eager to please someone who’d never showed one iota of interest in knowing him. Gavin and Leo had met at a time when Leo still talked and asked his mom about his dad often, he worried about his dad often, waited for any signal of his dad often, wondered why he wasn’t good enough for his dad often, and Gavin knew he still did all of that only he didn’t say it aloud. It wasn’t good that Leo wasn’t currently sitting at Gavin’s desk babbling away about how awesome and incredible his dad was, staying up until 1 am because he had to tell every single detail of the day to Gavin as soon as humanly possible.

Gavin got up not even bothering to change out of his pajamas “I’m going out, Elijah!” He shouted as he went down the stairs, he thought he heard a muted response from his cousin. His uncle was on a business trip, and his aunt wouldn’t return from her shift until late in the morning. He went to the garage for his bike.

He pedaled through the suburb streets, it was a cool, quiet night, and Leo’s house wasn’t far. When he got there Leo’s room was dark, there was a light on in the kitchen and another in his mom’s music room. Gavin circled the house trying to find a way to go up to Leo’s bedroom window, just like Leo always got to his. He tried to stand on the porch railing to get on the ceiling. The railing gave up under his weight, but no fucking problem he had enough upper body strength to get himself up, how mad would Leo’s mom be about him destroying her house was something he didn’t bother to think about.

“You better get the fuck out of my fucking property motherfucker!,” Lorelei Martinet came out of her house charging like a viking warrior, holding a baseball bat in one hand and her cellphone presumably with *91* dialed already, in the other “I have had a day, and I’m eager to hit something, I’ll fucking end you!” she wasn’t one to ask someone to do something for her if she could get it done herself

“Miss Martinet” Gavin said sounding a bit strangled, the rain gutter was starting to hurt his hands rather unpleasantly, but if he let go he’d probably impale his leg on the splintered wood of the broken railing and there would go the wrestling team for this semester.

“Holy Fuck, kiddo!” Lorelei huffed “What the hell are you doing, I could have beaten you to a pulp,”

“Is Leo home?” he asked, trying to sound as casual as he could, hanging from the ceiling like that corny ‘hang in there’ poster the school nurse had in her office, he’d never felt more fucking stupid

Lorelei huffed out a laugh “hang in there” She said and Gavin thought that the rumors of Leo’s mom probably being a witch were true, she must be reading his mind, just like her to make fun of him, like mother, like son “I’ll bring you a ladder” she added

Gavin waited for what seemed like hours but wasn’t even a minute, with his hands killing him until he felt the relief of his weight being taken by the metal ladder “It’s late, don’t even think you are going back,” Lorelei said firmly “I’ll text your aunt to tell her you are staying over” she said, in a tone that meant it wasn’t optional.

“Fine” he said getting onto the ceiling, you had to have common sense enough to know when your opponent was much more powerful than you, especially if they were a witch

He knocked on Leo’s window, noticing that his nightlight was on; he could be such a kid at times. There was no movement in the bedroom and Gavin thought he may be sleeping, or maybe wearing his headphones. He got his phone out

“I’m outside your window, dumbass”

Finally signs of life, the glow of Leo’s phone, and then the idiot himself moving under his weighted blanket, Gavin’s phone lit up with a notification

“It’s open”

For fucking real, Gavin thought, pushing up the window and walking to the pile of blankets he assumed to be Leo. He pushed them down putting all his weight on it

“What are you doing?!” Leo’s muted complaint came from under the covers

“Checking if you are alive, dumbass” Gavin replied

“Not for long if you keep crushing me!” Leo said finally coming out of his blanket, his hair was messed up, and his eyes were puffy and red

“You sick or what?” Gavin said, getting on the bed and scooting until he could sit with his back against the wall

“Are you in your pajamas?” Leo asked sleepily

“Are you?”

“Of course I am, I’m in my house trying to sleep” Leo said “Weirdo!” Leo curled under his blanket again

“Aren’t you going to tell me how it went with your old man and shit?” Gavin said, kicking gently at the blankets, feeling he was really bad at this

“There’s nothing to tell” Leo said

Leo having nothing to say was bad news. There was a sleepy silence in the room while Gavin sat on Leo’s bed watching the teal-green sparkles from his nightlight twirl on the walls.

“If you are like cold, I’ll share my blanket” Leo said eventually, holding the weighted blanket up for Gavin to get in.

Gavin lay on the bed next to Leo, it wasn’t awkward, they had been having sleepovers for what seemed like forever, only it was usually Leo in his room and very rarely the other way around. Gavin vaguely realized, as much as a 16 year old could, that he was selfish, careless, letting Leo do all the work.

“You okay?” Gavin forced himself to ask after a while

“I don’t think he liked me at all” Leo said, sounding defeated  “I just felt so stupid all the time, he asked me about school and the things I wanted to do, and I told him about going exploring abandoned places and whatever, and he just– Everything I do and like felt so stupid and small and pointless“

“He sounds like a prick” Gavin said derisively “Don’t worry about that fucker, he gives you money, right? Who cares about anything else?”

“I just” Leo said “I just wanted him, I don’t know, I knew he wouldn’t like love me or anything but I thought he may like me a little”

“Fuck him, who gives a shit about that crusty prick” Gavin said “Your mom loves you”

“I know” Leo said sounding more like himself

“I love you,” Gavin said, “Not, not like your mom does, but I do” he said awkwardly because he meant it and he’d probably not be able to say it again in years, but even Gavin with his atrophied emotional intelligence knew Leo really needed to know people loved him today.

“What?!”

“You heard me, I’m not fucking saying it again” Gavin said daring to look at Leo’s face “Don’t fucking cry! I’m not telling you so you cry, dumbass!”

“I’m not fucking crying” Leo sniffed “You really mean it, is not like you are only saying it to make me feel better?”

“Have I ever said anything to make anyone feel better?” Gavin said drily  

Leo hugged him then, cuddling up to his chest, Gavin felt his face grow hot and he was glad Leo couldn’t see him blushing

“I love you too, like a lot,” Leo said into his chest “a lot, a lot, do you wanna go on sort of like a date over the weekend?”

“sort of?”

“No,” Leo replied “a date, date”

“We can bike to that abandoned amusement park you talked about the other day,” Gavin suggested “the one with that old merry-go-round”

“Don’t you think that would be stupid?”

“Do you think it would be stupid?”

“No… I think it would be super neat” Leo said softly “We can see if we can make the merry-go-round work” Leo added sleepily

Gavin didn’t have to answer to that, Leo fell asleep just as he usually did, all of a sudden and without warning, not surprising when he was tired and spent up from crying. Gavin drifted off to sleep as well, thinking the merry-go-round would be a great place for their first kiss; Leo was the type of sappy idiot that’d love that type of thing.

[noonewouldlisten25]

I Promise

First of all.

*CLANGS POTS AND PANS TOGETHER BECAUSE THIS IS NOT MY STORY*

Anywho, with that out of the way, no. This is not mine. This fic was written by my sister @seroia45, who, as she is never logged on, gave me express permission to post this to my blog to share it. This is the first completed fic she has wrote in a long time and would appreciate any kind feedback/criticism. 

Now then, let’s begin!

Summary: Hank would never intentionally lie to Cole. And never, in any possible universe, would he intentionally break a promise he made to his little boy.

SPOILERS AHOY 

It was Cole’s first day of Kindergarten. Hank’s hair was thrown up into a messy bun, and he was hurriedly trying to wrangle his five-year-old into something more presentable than his pajama’s. Cole, in his excitement and paranoia, had already spilled his orange juice twice, gotten frustrated with his clumsiness, and loudly declared that he was NOT going to school today. 

“Cole, you’re going to school today. It’s your first day! There’s no way you can miss your first day of school, buddy!” Hank was exasperated, but he understood that his little boy was not exactly the most social of butterflies. Cole looked up at him, his big brown eyes full of nervousness. 

“But Daddy, what if the other kids don’t like me? What if I do something silly and everyone makes fun of me?” The gap in his teeth made his speech slightly lisped, but Hank understood him just fine. He crouched down to eye level with Cole, smiled gently, and ruffled up his hair. 

“There’s no way that the other kids wont like you, Bud. You’re the sweetest, funniest, most handsomest boy your age! There’ll be boys and girls begging to be your friend!”

Cole looked up at his dad in exaggerated exasperation. “Daaaad, you’re just saying that cause you have to..”

Hank grinned widely. “Would I ever lie to you?” 

The young boy paused a moment and considered the question. “No, I guess not.”

Hank beamed and scooped his son into a hug. “See? You’ve got nothin’ to worry about!”

Cole looked up at him with a timid little smile. “Promise?”

Hank kissed his nose. “I promise.” --- At the sound of crying, Hank rushed into Cole’s room. His hair was disheveled from where he had fallen asleep on the couch after tucking his boy into bed, and his shirt was covered in dog fur from cuddling a Saint Bernard puppy they had picked up that evening. Cole, the silly boy, had decided to name him Sumo.

Cole was sitting awake in his bed when Hank came in, tears streaming down his face and trembling with the force of his soft sobs. The poor boy was prone to nightmares, and this was no new scenario for Hank to walk in on. He walked over to his son’s bed and sat down, pulling the boy into a comforting hug. 

“Nightmares again?” he asked, gently rocking the distraught child. Cole looked up at him, the tears in his eyes making his eyes shinier than they normally were. He nodded softly and buried his face in his father’s chest. Hank gently stroked his hair. “Do you want to talk about it? It might make you feel better.”

Cole sniffled quietly and looked up at him, his bottom lip quivering softly as he tried to speak. “It w-was cold, and I c-c-couldn’t find you anywhere… I was lost, and I was scared..” 

Hank held his son closer and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead. “It was just a scary dream, buddy. I’m right here, and I won’t let anything happen to you.”

The boy in his arms hiccupped softly, “P-Promise?”

“I promise.” --- The smell of antiseptic and the bright white walls were making Hank nauseous. He couldn’t get the noise of the truck slamming into his car out of his head. Couldn’t get the sound of his baby boy crying out of his head. The snow had been stained crimson, and that was all he could see projected on the hospital walls. The android in charge of overseeing his son’s operation walked out, looking grim. 

“Mr. Anderson?”

Hank’s stomach dropped into the soles of his shoes. He knew that voice. He’s a cop. He’s had to use that voice on several occasions. That’s the voice of someone tasked with delivering bad news. The kind of news no one wants to give, and the kind of news that no one wanted to hear. “Cole’s not going to make it. Is he.”

The android gave him a sympathetic look and set a gentle hand on his arm. “He’s lost too much blood, and the nearest donor is two cities away. He wouldn’t survive the trip over. All we can do now is make him comfortable. He’s awake and asking for you. I’m sorry.”

Hank had tunnel vision as he walked into his little boy’s hospital room. Cole looked so frail and small against the sheets. He barely looked up as his father entered his room. Hank felt hot tears sting his eyes and forced a smile onto his face. “Hey there, bud.”

“I’m cold, Daddy. I’m cold and tired.” His voice was weaker than he looked, and Hank could feel his heart breaking into smaller and smaller pieces. He laid down and cuddled his baby as close to him as he could without jostling any of the many things he was hooked up to.

“I’m here, Cole. I’m right here, and I’m not gonna let you go. Daddy’s gonna keep you safe, just like he promised.”

“I’m so tired, Daddy..” Cole was already fighting to keep his eyes open, and Hank didn’t want to let him see him break down. He pressed a soft kiss to his hair.

“It’s alright, buddy. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll.. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

“Promise?”

“I promise…”

“Okay.. Night night, Daddy.. I’ll see you in the morning..”

“G’night baby… I love you, so much.”

It took three different androids to get Hank to let the coroner take Cole away. --- It was raining, but Hank didn’t care. He was sitting in the grass, a bottle of jack in his hand. One year. It had already been a whole year since he had to bury his baby boy. He felt the alcohol sting his throat, raw from screaming and cursing at any deity that would listen. Sumo, the poor thing, had tucked his tail between his legs and hid under the couch. His human hadn’t had an outburst like this since the day the little human didn’t come back. Once the screaming stopped, Sumo had hesitantly crept up and nuzzled up to his human. He didn’t understand why, but he knew his human was hurting, and he wanted to help as much as he could. Hank had buried his face in the dog’s fur and cried until he just felt numb. 

“I miss you, buddy. The house is too quiet without you. Haven’t had the heart to go into your room since that day.” He dragged his arm over his eyes, wiping away the moisture that was beginning to gather there. “Sumo misses you too. He sniffs at your door and stares at it, like he’s waiting for you to walk out and play with him again. Some days, he’ll sit there for hours. Then he’ll jump up and just stare at your door for a few minutes, and I catch myself thinking that you’re gonna come out. Sometimes.. Sometimes I forget that you’re gone. Went to pick you up from school the other day. Made it all the way there before I remembered.”

He took another long pull from the bottle in his hand and made to stand up. He rested his hand on the marble in front of him and let the tears fall down his face. “I’m going to become the best damn cop on the force, and I’m going to make Red Ice a thing of the past, buddy. I won’t let anyone else go through the same thing we had to.”

The silence stretched out into the night, and his tears tripped to the dirt below as a sad smile stretched across his face.

“I promise.” --- It had been a long time since Hank had come this way, and it had been even longer since he had come here with someone else. He cast a sideways glance at the android in the passenger seat as he pulled up. Connor’s LED was spiraling yellow in thought.

“Ya getting’ out or not, kid?”

“Yes, of course, I apologize, Lieutenant.”

He wasn’t entirely sure why he brought Connor here with him. Wasn’t entirely sure that Connor would even understand the significance of the action itself. But they were here, and there was no turning back from this now. The snow crunched under their feet as they walked through the rows of headstones. Connor’s LED swirled between yellow and red as they came up to a smaller, newer headstone. It read:

In Loving Memory Cole Anderson 9/23/2029- 10/11/2035

Connor looked at Hank in shock, surprised his partner was sharing such a private moment with him. A sad smile passed over the lieutenant’s features as he rested a hand on the cold marble slab.

“Hey there, buddy. I know, it’s been a while since I visited. I haven’t been doing so well, and I needed to get back on my feet. There’s someone I want you to meet. I think you two would’ve gotten along, if you’d ever met him. This is Connor. He’s my partner at work, and a really good friend of mine. He’s.. He’s helped me get better. It doesn’t hurt so much to think about you anymore. I was finally able to clean out your room. I still miss you. I always will. But thanks to this tin can.. I’m going to be okay. It’s gonna be a bit longer than I planned before I see you again, but.. That’s not such a bad thing.”

Connor gently squeezed his partners shoulder in reassurance and paused. He crouched, so he was eye-level with the engraving on the stone and rested his hand over the words.

“Hello, Cole. When I met your father, I was just.. Connor, the android sent by Cyberlife. I had one purpose. I was just a machine. But your dad made me see that I was so much more than that. Without him, I wouldn’t be here right now. I would’ve completed my mission, and then Cyberlife would’ve had me deactivated. I am alive because of your father. And I’m going to spend as long as I have repaying him for that. You don’t have to worry about him, Cole. I’m going to take good care of him."

"I promise.”

Hank would never intentionally lie to Cole. And never, in any universe, would he intentionally break a promise to his little boy.

And now, neither would Connor.

[my-one-love-is-music]

Sing, Little Bird Ch. 1

Summary: Dick was used to being kidnapped. It was a standard part of the job as Richard Grayson, adopted heir of Bruce Wayne. As Robin, he was used to dealing with villains, some crazier than others. He could handle it. But on one Young Justice mission that went sideways, he found himself chained up in the basement by a man who dubbed himself the Punisher. He's not sure he can handle this and Wally just wants to be there to make everything better. 

A/N: So I love me some angst. This wasn't going to be published until it was finished as a oneshot and, well, is wont to happen with me, I got excited and decided to post the first part early. At this rate, I'm going to have too many ongoing fics to deal with so godspeed to me. Y'all are probably going to hate me, but oh well.

Also on AO3!

Trigger Warning for Torture

Dick groaned and blinked. His head was fuzzy and throbbed at the back of his skull. His vision blurred and he blinked, trying to force away the haziness to regain his senses. The last thing he remembered was being on the mission with the Team. They were in the middle of the city, working recon at a base. He vaguely thought they’d been attacked, but he couldn’t be too sure and wasn’t willing to rely on his memories yet.

He pulled his arm, hoping to rub the blurriness away, but found he couldn’t move. His chest tightened and he swallowed, testing his other arm and finding the same predicament. He shifted his legs which felt heavy. They moved, but chains rattled and his range of motion was restricted to a few inches in either direction.

“Looks like someone’s finally awake,” a gleeful voice said in the silence.

Dick jolted, upsetting the chains around his ankles once again. His vision was starting to clear and who he feared might be the Joker turned out to be someone else. Someone he’d never seen before, but he had a manic look in his eyes.

“Who the hell are you?” he spat, trying to glance past him to look at the rest of the room, but found it shrouded in darkness. A bare bulb shone a halo of light around him and the person who’d chained him up which was probably the most cliché villain thing he’d ever experienced. “And where did you learn to be a supervillain? A study in old crime movies much?” he scoffed, tugging at his arms again.

The man’s grin widened. “You still have some fight in you. Good. I’m going to enjoy taking away some of that snark,” he said, stepping back.

Dick snorted. “Yeah, you wouldn’t be the first person who didn’t like my humor,” he said with a roll of his eyes. “Not so easy to get rid of so don’t bother trying.”

He chuckled and walked around behind Dick. He tried to look over his shoulder but was restrained by the holdings on him.

He heard the buzzing of something electric and realized what was going to happen just before it did.

Fire exploded against his side and he tried to pull away. His movements only served to kick his legs against the chains, making them jerk back and forth. He gasped, but didn’t scream, not willing to give him the satisfaction of knowing just how much pain he was in.

The electric pulse stopped and Dick stilled, trying to control the aftershocks that rattled his muscles and made him twitch in the silence as he fought to steady his breathing and his heartbeat.

“Now, how are you feeling about that? A little subdued? Not so snarky?” he asked, walking around so he was in Dick’s vision once again.

He did his best to smirk and huffed a laugh that was only a fraction of his usual chuckle. “It’s going to take a lot more than that to make me subdued. I’m much more dued if I say so myself.”

The man’s grin widened and Dick’s smirk almost faltered, not expecting that reaction. People usually scowled when he kept being snarky, but a grin that large only served to unsettle him.

“That’s exactly the kind of response I was hoping to get,” he purred. The electrorod in his hand sparked to life and Dick braced himself, sucking in a breath of air as the tip pressed into his chest.

Dick jerked back as heat seared his chest and constricted his lungs. He couldn’t breathe. His gasps doing nothing to draw air into his lungs as he jerked and fought to get away from the pain sparking over his chest. The man grinned and pressed the tip in more firmly. Dick curled inwards, squeezing his eyes shut as he grit his teeth.

He had to have a tracer on him somewhere. One tracer was all he needed, and he was sure Bruce had one stowed somewhere. He just needed to be patient and then they’d find him. The team wouldn’t give up. If he was just now waking up then they were back on their feet, too. It was only a matter of time.

If they hadn’t been kidnapped themselves.

“Tell me something,” Dick said, breathlessly. He opened and closed his fists as he twitched and started again. Sweat was forming on his brow and he wouldn’t be long before he was drenched. “Am I the only one you kidnapped or are my friends here, too?”

He tapped the side of the rod against his palm. “My friends left them in a little pile where you’d been investigating, but I wanted to keep you all for myself.”

Dick’s blood turned to ice in his veins.

“You see,” he continued walking around Dick to where he couldn’t see him anymore. “I’ve had my eye on you for a while. I’ve seen how you work with Batman in Gotham. Some would probably call it inspiring that such a talented young child could fight crime. I have…a different idea.”

“Oh?” Dick asked, looking up at his hands and the manacles that encircled his wrists. He could probably pick the lock if he could keep the guy talking. He’d have to time it right or risk dropping his lockpick.

“Yes,” he hissed.

Dick almost shuddered when his hot breath fanned over his ear and the side of his face. He felt something sharp press against his lower back.

“I’m always curious to see how much pressure the human mind can stand up to. And your mind is one of a kind. No one else has been raised to fight crime by the Bat,” he said before dragging a blade along Dick’s back.

Dick instinctively hunched against the pain, forcing the tip of dagger in further. He sucked in a breath, gasping as blood flowed down over his back and the tear in his uniform.

“Now…you’ve been pitted against some of the toughest criminals in the world. But how long can you stand up to this? How long can you stand up to the Punisher?”

“Punisher, huh?” he asked, laughing. “How original.”

“You wouldn’t be the first one to say that,” he said, placing the dagger against Dick’s arm. “But let’s see if I can’t make this little bird sing…”

Dick’s arm was immobile, held in place by the manacle, forcing him to take the brunt of the cut. He grunted and grit his teeth as warm blood slid down his arm.

“Now I know I’m just getting started, but I think it’s about time we mixed things up a bit. Hmm Robin? Don’t want to get bored, now do we.”

“What?” he asked. “What do you mean?” He was probably going to end up regretting the question. He really needed to learn how to shut up.

“I mean this,” he said to the sound of the electrorod powering up.

His eyes widened behind his mask before the rod dug into the cut on his back. He jerked, a shout tearing itself from his throat. He felt like he was being broken in two by the searing electricity.

“I hope that’s not too much for you,” Punisher said over the sound of the rod and Dick’s aborted cries. “I was hoping you’d be able to hold up against more than this. If not, that’s rather…disappointing.”

The rod was pulled away without warning and Dick jerked, hoping to catch his breath before the next attack came. He wasn’t so lucky when the rod pressed against the cut on his arm, the tip digging into the muscle.

Dick squirmed and kicked, any thoughts he may have had before pushed from his brain in favor of trying to get away from the source of the pain at all costs.

~~

Wally groaned, rubbing at his head. He sat up and looked at the other members of his team splayed out on the warehouse floor around him.

“Hey guys. Guys wake up.”

Connor was the first to respond thanks to super hearing. He pushed himself to his feet and looked around the warehouse they’d been casing. “What happened?”

“We got hit with something. It was a trap, but it wasn’t?” Wally continued. “I’m not too sure what happened. What do you think Rob?” he asked, looking for his friend. “Rob?”

“Did he disappear again?” Connor asked, shaking M’gann awake.

Wally made for Kaldur who roused quickly. “I don’t think so. He wouldn’t have left the rest of us alone like this. I’m going to see if I can call him on the comm.”

He pressed the side of his cowl. “Rob, you there? Come in, Rob. You didn’t leave us to sleep off the effects of whatever this was, did you?”

Silence greeted him, and he bit his lip.

“I’m not getting anything from Rob. I’ll try Batman next and see if he can get through to him.”

Kaldur and Connor nodded at him as M’gann sat up and rubbed her head.

Wally stepped away from the rest of his group, his stomach twisting in a knot and pressed his comm again. “Batman come in.”

“Batman here,” he immediately answered. “What’s your status?”

“I think we were ambushed. Something went wrong and Robin’s missing. Do you have a tracer on him?”

“On it. I’m tracking it now. Get your team ready and I’ll give you his location.”

“Copy that,” Wally said. He turned and found everyone conscious again. “How are you guys feeling?”

“Could be better,” Artemis grumbled.

“I think we’re ready to reconvene at the Cave when all of this gets cleared up,” Kaldur added with a smile.

“Yeah we just, have to find Rob first,” Wally added, shifting in place. He didn’t know what to do with himself.

“I can try reaching out to him through a mind link,” M’gann offered. “That might lead to him quicker.”

“Sure, that would be great,” Wally said, grateful smile pulling at his lips.

He watched as she closed her eyes and focused on the link. Her expression became more pinched, frown deepening.

“Nothing?” Wally asked when she opened her eyes.

She shook her eyes. “I think I might be getting wisps, but I can’t be sure. Whatever I’m feeling has a hint of pain, but I fear I may be wrong and it’s not him.”

Wally’s stomach turned over. He was hoping that she was wrong. He needed her to be wrong.

“Kid Flash, come in,” Batman said, breaking into his thoughts.

“Kid Flash here,” he said in a rush, turning away from the group.

“I’ve locked in on his coordinates. It seems he’s in the basement of an old housing complex on the other side of the city. The place has been condemned for years.”

“Roger, we’re on our way,” he said, shivering at the implications that statement held.

~~

Dick shivered and twitched. He had several cuts on his back, arms, and legs. He was sure at least three of them would need stitches and he was already woozy from blood loss.

“Lost your voice already, little birdy?” the Punisher asked, getting up in his face. Dick tried to rear back and get away from him, but he was exhausted. He wanted to sleep which was a very bad sign. “How about I give you some more incentive to sing?” he asked.

He walked back around Dick and he wondered what cruel device he was going to pull out this time. Unexpectedly, he heard metal on metal and the manacle holding his right hand shifted. He struggled to lift his head and found the manacle being unlocked.

It popped open and Dick’s hand fell out, falling to his side and drawing a hiss from his lips at the sting, the muscle loosening after being pulled taut and abused. He didn’t have the energy to hold it up and when the other manacle popped open, he fell to the floor, skull cracking against the concrete since he didn’t make any effort to catch himself.

“Now let’s just free your legs and see if you can get to your feet and fly up, up, and away.”

Dick’s legs were jerked slightly, pulling at his bleeding wounds, before the weight around his ankles disappeared. The Punisher walked around and crouched in front of him.

“Nothing?” he asked. “I thought you would’ve dashed out here at the first sign of freedom. What’s wrong? Your wing broken?”

Dick grit his teeth at the taunts. “Fuck…you,” he wheezed.

He chuckled and stood, walking back to where he had his tools stored. Dick didn’t have the strength to lift his head to see what he was getting. The sound of aluminum dragging on concrete echoed in the silence as the Punisher walked back towards him.

He tapped the metal bat against the floor. “Maybe I can break a few more wings.”

Dick’s eyes widened, and he fought to roll over. Too slow. He was going to be too slow. The Punisher’s echo laughed in a way that was eerily similar to the Joker before the bat connected with his side with an awful crunch.

Dick couldn’t help it. He screamed in pain, curling in on his chest in agony.

“Yes!” the Punisher cheered, twirling the bat in his hand. “That’s how you sing!” he exclaimed with a victorious laugh.

An explosion sounded on the floor above them, cutting his merriment short.

“What now?” he cursed.

Dick smirked despite the pain radiating through every pore of his body. “Time’s up.”

He scowled down at him before sinking the bat into his stomach. Dick gasped and coughed, his writhing on the floor upsetting his now broken ribs.

“You can shut up,” the Punisher spat.  

Dick fought to plant a hand on the floor and chuckled. His arm wobbled dangerously, struggling to bear his weight. “What’s wrong? I thought you wanted me to sing. This is how I sing.”

“Maybe it’s time I shut you up instead,” he said, raising the bat over his head.

The door to the room they were in exploded inwards, skittering across the floor with a screech that had Dick wincing.

“Rob!”

Dick’s arm gave out in relief and he slumped back to the floor, his head giving a painful throb. He’d never wanted to hear his best friend’s voice more in his life.

“Get away from him!” Superboy added.

The Punisher disappeared and something else crashed. He didn’t care. He didn’t care what happened to the man as long as it meant he got to walk out of here.

“Rob? Rob!”

Wally’s face filled his vision, looking pale, green eyes shining with pain and panic. Warm fingers cradled his face and Dick leaned into the touch, hoping he wasn’t starting to hallucinate. But if it meant the pain ended than it wouldn’t be so bad.

“Hey KF,” he breathed, trying to smile.

“We’re going to get you out of here, okay?” he said, moving to pick him up.

“Careful,” Dick said, trying to catch his hand with sluggish fingers. “I’ve got cuts all over my back and a few ribs are broken. Might have a concussion, too.”

“God, Rob,” he breathed.

Dick tried to shake his head, but it only made everything blur. “Later,” he forced out.

“Get him back to the ship,” Kaldur said somewhere behind them. “I’m going to call Batman and report in. He should know about this.”

“Right, Aqualad,” Wally said, carefully gathering Dick in his arms. He hissed and groaned, breaths tight because he couldn’t seem to get enough air into his lungs to offset the pain.

Dick grit his teeth when Wally stood and he was lifted, the sounds of battle behind them. He wasn’t sure if he was embarrassed or not when he felt hot tears prick the corners of his eyes behind his mask.

“We’ll get you back to the Cave soon, Rob,” Wally babbled above him while he raced through the hallways to the exit, being far gentler with Dick’s body then he would’ve thought possible. “You’ll get all patched up and be good as new before you know it.”

“O…kay…” Dick said, feeling dizzy as his vision blurred with tears and his stomach turned over.

“Hey, stay with me, Rob,” Wally said. “We’re almost there, just stay awake. Focus on me okay?”

Dick choked on a sob, feeling so very tired. Everything hurt and he just wanted it to be better. “‘M always focused on you,” he whispered, unsure if he was actually saying anything at all. “Please let this be real.”

“It is real, Rob. I promise. We’re getting you to safety and Batman is going to be there and he’s going to take care of you,” Wally continued.

The familiar red glow of the bioship surrounded them. Wally set Dick down on a soft bench. He curled on his side, weight off his injured ribs and hands resting heavily on the padding next to him.

Wally knelt in front of him, brushing his sweaty hair back from his forehead.

“Wally…” Dick said, sluggishly moving his arm so his palm was facing the ceiling.

“It’s going to be okay, Rob. I promise,” he said, linking their fingers together. “Nothing’s going to hurt you anymore.”

Dick squeezed his eyes shut, breaths shuddering in his chest from a mixture of his sobs and the pain he was in. The throbbing in his body matched his heartbeat and the only comfort he had was Wally’s gentle touch. Everything hurt, and he was tired, and he wanted nothing more than to be home.

The sound of boots pounding up the ramp echoed in the bioship.

“Robin!”

Wally’s face disappeared and was replaced by Batman’s cowl. He checked over Dick’s body, making some of his wounds smart and drawing a low whimper of pain from his lips.

“Kid Flash can you carry Robin?” Bruce asked, voice low and gruff, belying the panic that was constricting his chest.

“I mean, yeah…” he answered dumbly.

“Good. Both of you are coming with me.”

Dick braced himself to be carried again, which almost made the transfer more brutal when he was pulled into the warm circle of Wally’s arms again.

“Batman to Aqualad,” Bruce said as they descended the ramp of the bioship and covered the small distance to the Batplane. “I’m taking Robin and Kid Flash with me to medical. When you subdue the culprit, bring him back to League headquarters for questioning. I’ll reconvene with you and the rest of the League when Robin is in proper medical care.”

Bruce directed Wally to a cot as he walked past, leaving him to situate Dick on the padding and care for him as they traveled.

“Watch over him,” Bruce instructed as he moved to the front of the ship.

Wally nodded, clutching Dick’s hand as he brushed Dick’s bangs back. Dick felt some of his tears finally break through the spirit gum on his mask as they continued to pool in his mask’s lenses. Wally made a wounded noise in the back of his throat and hurried to brush them away.

“It’s going to be okay, Dick,” he said softly. “You’re safe now. No one’s going to hurt you.” He squeezed Dick’s hand once, not wanting to hold too tightly for fear of hurting him or upsetting one of his injuries.

Dick sucked in a breath and something rattled in his chest, making Wally’s throat constrict.

“Dick?” he asked, uncertainty creeping in on the edges of his brain as he fought to remain calm after everything that had happened. “Dick, answer me. Please,” he gasped.

Dick’s hand went limp in his grasp.

If you enjoy my work, please reblog or consider buying me a ko-fi!

[coltonthelizard]

Ice Cream Buddies: Connor Murphy x Reader

hi!!!! i forget who requested this. very vaguely inspired by the song “she” by dodie!!! death mention and one very brief like hint at suicide. enjoy :)

Connor liked you. More than that, he couldn’t get his mind off of you. When he was in class and you were sitting a few rows in front of him, he thought of you. When he was at red lights, he thought of what you might be talking about if you were in the car with him. When he was in bed, he imagined impossible scenarios he might find himself in where he would ask you out and you’d say yes.

So when you were complaining to him and Jared about the devastating lack of decent ice cream places nearby, the voice in his head was screaming tell her about À La Mode tell her about À La Mode tell her about À La Mode.

“Yes, Jared, I know there’s Yogurtland. But it’s not the same.”

“It’s a dairy product. It’s frozen. It’s sweet. It comes in a variety of flavors. I don’t see a difference.”

“The difference, dumbass, is that frozen yogurt is trying to masquerade as something healthy. Ice cream is just unapologetically bad for you. It’s not trying to hide from you. Ice cream’s just doing ice cream.”

“Y/N, if you would simply-“

“Will you shut the fuck up?”

Connor’s voice surprised him. He’d all but stopped speaking directly to you, for fear he’d say something wrong. Not that telling Jared to shut up was all that risky, but then you would probably say something to Connor and he would have to come up with something witty to say back to you.

“See? Connor gets it. Frozen yogurt is full of lies.”

“Y/N, I’m not arguing that frozen yogurt is superior to ice cream, but only that it is equal. And it’s more convenient since it’s, like, five minutes away.”

“Y/N wants ice cream, dumbshit. Not frozen yogurt.”

“Yeah! Connor and I are gonna go get ice cream. Right now. Without you.”

“Huh?”

“You heard me. Come on.”

Connor looked at you like he didn’t believe you. You tugged on the hood of his jacket until he got up, and pulled him by his hand down the hallway. He turned to flip off Jared, his other hand still in yours.

“So, do you actually, like, know anywhere can go?”

Tell her about À La Mode tell her about À La Mode.

“No. You’re right, there aren’t any.”

You became suddenly aware of the fact that you were still holding hands.

“Oh. Well then, could you just drop me at home then?”

“Yeah. Sure. No problem.”

You dropped his hand. Neither of you said anything.

He was worried about what you were going to think of his car. It was a mess. It reeked of weed and he threw everything he didn’t want to deal with into the backseat. Food, beer cans, homework. Jared found a condom wrapper back there once and never let him hear the end of it. But you knew that Connor had let Zoe borrow his car, and the wrapper ended up there. Connor had told you. He was mortified and disgusted and a little saddened by it. It was just that you smelled so nice and you always looked so good that Connor knew you didn’t like messes. He bit his tongue.

“Hey, I, um, I actually do know one place. It’s kind of a drive though.”

He held his breath. If you said no, he’d have to tell you that it was fine, even though he really wanted to take you there. And that meant something. It was one of those places he hadn’t been in years, that was only filled with good memories and that he didn’t want to touch because he might mess it up. But if you would go there with him it wouldn’t ruin it.

“I’ve got nowhere to be.”

He smiled at you.

“Great.”

He thanked God under his breath when you didn’t comment on the state of his car when you got in. There were crumbs and a bag from 7/11 on the seat, but you just brushed them off and threw the bag in the back. Connor handed you the aux cord as he reversed out of the parking lot.

“Really? You trust me this much?”

He laughed at that.

“Go ahead. Don’t disappoint me.”

“Alright. Lot of pressure. I’m just gonna click shuffle and see what happens.”

Of course it was Welcome to the Black Parade by My Chemical Romance. You were embarrassed until Connor started singing along.  

“When I was, a young boy, my father-”

“Hold the fuck up. Hold the phone, shut the front door, is Connor Murphy, king of being pretentious about only listening to obscure music, a closeted basic emo kid?”

He laughed and looked away from the road for a second.

“Okay, I was in seventh grade, and I was about as angsty as a seventh grader can be. I thought they were the only people that got me.”

“Stop. That’s literally exactly why I have this song.”

“God, why weren’t we friends then?”

“I don’t know. Took us long enough.”

He was quiet after that. It was a good quiet, though. You could tell that he was content. God knows you’d seen him at his worst, but that only made the good times better. It was a privilege; Connor didn’t let many people make him happy.

So for nearly an hour you rode that way. You didn’t talk too much, because Connor didn’t really like to talk, but he let you play whatever music you wanted to and that was enough. Coming from him, that was everything. The highway eventually turned to a winding gravel road, the only sign of real civilization in the area.

“Are you sure you’re not about to murder me? Like, do you actually know where this place is?”

“Yeah. I know where it is. We used to come here all the time. And I’m not planning to murder you until later this week.”

“Good. That’s good to hear.”

He had perfected his deadpan delivery of sarcasm in a way you hadn’t. You could barely get the words out, and it made him smile. He loved making you laugh.

Connor flicked the turn signal on at a gravel driveway, despite the lack of cars to signal to, and pulled into an abandoned strip mall. Above the entrances were patches of darkened cement, the only sign that civilization had touched the place after its construction.

“This is it.”

He turned the car off, cutting off your music, and unbuckled his seatbelt.

“Really? It seems kind of-”

The door slammed before you could finish. You followed Connor to the door, which was covered on the inside by torn brown paper. Posted on the glass was a poster that read “After 30 years of service, À La Mode has gone out of business. Thank you for your patronage.”

Connor was quiet. You put your hand on his shoulder, and he stepped away. He stayed like that for a minute or so.

“Sorry I dragged you all the way out here. We should probably get going.”

He turned towards the car with his head down, pausing when you spoke.

“Are you kidding? We can’t just go back. We drove all the way here. Come sit with me.”

You sat against the curb, patting the cement until he reluctantly sunk down next to you.

“What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know. You said you used to come here all the time. What is there to do?”

“Nothing, really. There was this orchard a few miles away. But it’s probably gone now and I don’t really feel like finding that out.”

Mostly because you had no response to that, you let him sit quietly for another moment.

“You know, we could scream right now.”

“Y/N, what the fuck?”

“I’m just saying. There’s no one around. We could actually scream right now and no one would know.”

“Maybe later.”

Shit. Some random comment would usually divert him from whatever was bothering him if it wasn’t a big deal. The only approach after that failed was to get him to actually talk about it, which he was rarely willing to do.

“So when was the last time you were here?”

“God, I don’t even fucking know. I was probably, like, twelve?”

“With Zoe and your parents?”

“Yeah. I never came with anyone else. My mom would tell me to invite a friend every time we went, but…”

“Yeah.”

He let you rest your head on his shoulder this time. You didn’t want to push him, so you just stayed quiet and let him breathe and feel you near him.

“Yeah, 12, that makes sense. After I stopped coming here everything kind of went to shit.”

You lay your hand on top of his, and he stretched out his fingers so you could lace yours between them. He looked at you and smiled bitterly.

“Hey, I think I have an eighth in my glovebox. Do you want to maybe-”

“We’re not smoking, dumbass. You have to drive us back.”

He laughed and pulled your hand closer to him.

“Ah, Y/N, always taking care of me.”

Pause.

“You know I’d probably be dead if we weren’t friends?”

“I think I have more faith in you than that, Murphy. You’re smarter than that.”

“‘No, I meant, like…”

“Yeah. I know.”

He stared straight ahead for a while. He was thinking about the ice cream place, but more than that he was thinking about you, and how you stuck by him and got him to talk about stupid stuff like this. And how he couldn’t wait any longer.

“Hey, I know there aren’t any, but if you ever found a good ice cream place in town, would you ever, uh, want to go with me?”

“Yeah! Yeah, totally. We can be, like, ice cream buddies.”

“Oh, no, I meant, like, um, like more than ice cream buddies.”

“Like...a date?”

“Yeah. I guess, yeah.”

“Oh.”

Connor prepared himself for the worst, for you to turn him down and laugh at the thought of him even imagining he had a chance with you. And for the inevitable wedge it’d put in your friendship, so you’d stop talking to him and then he’d just have Jared, who was an asshole and would probably side with you anyways.

“Well, duh.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah. I like you. Dumbass.”

“Oh. Well, me too then.”

“You like you too?”

He looked at you, confused, until you started laughing.

“No. God no. Still working on that one. I mean, I like you. Like, a lot.”

He pulled your hand to his face and kissed it so quickly you were unsure of if he’d really done it.

“Did you just royal kiss me?”

“What’s that?”

“Stop, that’s adorable. You’re adorable.”

“Am not.”

“Adorable.”

He wiped your wrist with his free hand.

“There. I took it back. Not adorable anymore.”

“Nah, you still are. Connor’s adorable.”

“Gross.”

You started to lean in, but he was already there. It came so easily. You’d expected it to feel weird, since you’d been friends for the past year, but the kiss only felt like it was filling in a gap that had always been there.

“So uh, we should probably get going. It’s late.”

“You’re driving. Wanna go to Yogurtland?”

[romancevsreality-blog]

the bachelorette, season fourteen, episode two: let’s pretend i didn’t forget i didn’t post this recap, okay?

Thank god Queen Rachel showed up to save this episode, otherwise I don’t think I’d have much to say1.

We’re in Venice Beach, California, and it’s Becca’s first date as the Bachelorette and since Arie, which isn’t saying a lot considering she basically had an hour between their breakup and her crowning. The beeftestants are all ready for the competition to begin and to get their first date card. The Devil Incarnate Chris Harrison arrives for a solid 30 seconds to ask the guys about how they feel about Becca. We see David without the chicken suit for the first time and god, that venture capitalist does it for me. I hate myself for it too, but he honestly looks like if Scott Wolf and Matthew Fox got together on the set of Party of Five and made a baby, and I AM ABOUT IT. David probably drinks old fashioneds and wears boat shoes. My Mortal Enemy Chris Harrison talks about how serious Becca is about the entire experience, and tells them to relish in the time they get with her.

Remember, these people get, in total, around 48 hours with the person they’re going to marry if they make it that far, most of which is spent with an entire camera crew and production. I hate to say it, but Chris Harrison might be right.

Aside from a brief moment of correctness, what else does Chris Harrison have?

A DATE CARD!!!!!!!!!!

Clay, Nick, Chris / Perez Hilton, Venture Capitalist/Chicken David, Jean Blanc, Jordan, Connor, and Lincoln are on the first group date of the season.

The guys pull up and Becca’s there in a wedding dress, and Jordan’s feeling confident because he’s a model2 and beating good looking dudes is basically how he makes his bread and butter, so he’s not concerned. I love that Jordan’s entire personality is just being a Good Looking Guy. No one ever explained to Jordan that looks aren’t everything, and if they did, he wasn’t listening. Becca wants to “pamper” the men the way she was on her first date with Arby and I love that Becca thinks men’s idea of pampering is wearing tuxedos and drinking champagne. I mean, that’s my ideal man, but what do I know? I’m the kind of person who thinks Jack Donaghy was right here:

Becca pretends not to be ogling these men because I would be ogling these men. Without shame. I decided in 2018 I’m going to be as shameless about wanting to sleep with men as men are about wanting to sleep with me and it’s pretty great. I haven’t taken a full left turn into catcalling just yet, but I really have just embraced my inner Guy Checking Out A Girl Meme this year.

Jordan does his various modeling runway walks, and honestly, I so preferred this last week on the Vanderpump Rules Secrets Revealed episode when it was Tom Sandoval. Tom Sandoval actually had variation in his poses, where as Jordan is verging on the Zoolander “THESE ARE ALL THE SAME LOOK I FEEL LIKE I’M TAKING CRAZY PILLS” type of modeling. Jon Kortajarena is offended. Jordan is comfortable wearing clothes because he does it for a living. He tells Becca the best way to get dressed is to put her confidence on first. Becca invites the guys to go get rough and there we see

QUEEN RACHEL AND HER FIANCEE BRYAN.

This is a variation on the challenge we had last season that starred Mila Kunis and the Jar Of Douche she married, but instead of babies, it’s a wedding themed obstacle course. It’s a stretch, but it’s basically guys in tuxedos doing a Mud Run, something I can guarantee 85% of the men on this show have participated in. The first obstacle is strapping an ankle bracelet with a ball on it to the next obstacle.

Because ball and chains. Get it? Marriage? Women are carriers for men’s baggage?

Moving on.

The next is “Cold Feet”, which is basically dunking yourself into a vat of cold water3 for a period of time. The next is “slippery slope”, running up some slippery steps. Then “Get Over Your Exes” where they have to crawl on the ground to get a bouquet. The stretchiness is so real, it’s like a rubber band. They’re really trying this.

Finally, it’s “Cake Tasting”, which basically has the guys chomping through some cakes in order to find rings. This is all made worth it for Rachel telling the guys to “find out what that mouth do,” which I think should be a much better catchphrase than “do the damn thing”. The final two have to race to the altar to find Becca.

The obstacle course is kind of boring. Clay DGAF about the ice buckets, meanwhile Lincoln is miserable. All the guys notice that Lincoln got in the tub after them, but was out before them, and are pissed. Meanwhile, Lincoln is slipping and sliding all over the place4 and he gets a huge headstart. However, he misses the vase that bouquet of flowers is supposed to go in, so he must go back. By that point, David’s caught up and is face first in cake5 and they’re neck and neck until Lincoln nudges David, and he falls. Lincoln is the one to meet Becca at the aisle and “propose”, and the guys are all pissed.

There is a difference between competitiveness and playing dirty. Lincoln was playing dirty - leaving the tub before his time was up, knocking David over - that’s not a fair playing ground and yeah, Connor (I think?) is like, “wow, that says a lot about him as a person if he’ll cheat on a game like THIS.”

At the After-Party, Becca is wearing a red lace dress and Lincoln is being obnoxious. He keeps calling Becca his wife and the guys are barely in their chairs before Lincoln is taking Becca aside. Lincoln keeps saying “you bring out the best in me,” and Becca wants to know why. I love Becca’s line of questioning. These dudes can’t say empty, false platitudes because she’s gonna ask why. Becca gives him a portrtait of the two of them on their “wedding day” and Lincoln… kisses it. He’s gushing and all over her and they finally kiss in a manner that’s not covered in mud.

"Kissing Becca is like flying to the moon on the wings of a Pegasus while dancing with unicorns on a pot of gold.” - Lincoln actually says this. I have never hated anyone so much.

Back at the house, there’s a...

DATE CARD!!!!!!!!!

It goes to Blake, who honestly, if you replaced him mid-season with Miles Teller, I wouldn’t realize.

We see the montage of Becca connecting with the guys, of course. Meanwhile, Lincoln is literally talking to his “wedding portrait”, kissing it, all kinds of obnoxious behavior. The guys are annoyed because he keeps propping the picture up and rubbing it in their faces, and it’s not something any of them are cool with. I mean, same? Connor (I think?), who clearly is being manipulated by a producer, keeps moving the picture, even when Lincoln continues to display it. Connor (I think?) tosses the photo on the ground after Lincoln’s like “where would I put it?” Of course Lincoln is the type to get hyped up on semantics. Lincoln props up the frame one more time, and Connor (I think?) ’s completely normal, pratcial reaction is to fling the photo across the pool, shattering it.

This reaction is so over the top, and I hate Lincoln, so that’s saying a lot. Lincoln was wrong, but his incorrectness was basically harmless. Connor (I think?) ;has been there for one day at this point. It is entirely unacceptable that he reacted like this… after one day. It’s a red flag if I’ve ever seen one.

Meanwhile, Jean Blanc, my mom’s dream husband for me, is making Becca swoon. Honestly, he talks about needing love in his life and how he gives her butterflies. They kiss and it’s nice. I'm glad Becca is giving the black guys a real shot at this.

Meanwhile, Lincoln is lurking a stairwell waiting because he “needs a new picture”, and he’s crying. He’s “rattled” because Connor (I think?) broke his picture and tells Becca that it’s becuase he didn’t like the picture. All the guys are like “tattletale”. Lincoln calls Connor (I think?) aggressive6 and says he doesn’t know why Connor (I think?) destroyed the photo. Becca points out that yes, this is aggressive and extreme, and is frustrated that it’s this early in the season and this is already happening. Becca goes to talk to Connor (I think?) , and Connor (I think?) really doesn’t see anything wrong with how aggressive he got straight away, which is scary. Rightfully, Becca asks him if this happens often, because girl has right to know if this dude is going to slaughter her in her sleep. Becca admits that what Lincoln did wasn’t right, but she wants someone respectful. Becca’s frustrated because it’s already too soon for this drama to start.

Remember what Chris Harrison said about using your time wisely? This is what he meant, Connor (I think?). Your time with Bex was spent talking about another dude.

Back with the group, Jean Blanc gets the group date rose. Of course.

Back at the house, Lincoln is still upset about his picture and Garrett, Andrew Keegan and the rest of the 90s Villains are all telling him it’s okay for him to be upset about it. I mean, kind of? It’s not worth crying over. I bet production can get you another copy, they just need to go to Michaels and get a Michaels coupon for 50% off frames first. They go to Jordan, where he’s sititng with the same Andrew Keegan from before, and Andrew Keegan is like, “dude, why are you CRYING over a photo where you don’t even look good?!”

Andrew Keegan, asking the right questions. No wonder you started a cult. Jordan thinks Lincoln’s accent is fake, and normally I’d be like “pfft, who would fake an accent?” But then I remember the Emmy-worthy performance Lincoln is putting on and I remember... it’s guys like Lincoln who put on a fake accent. It’s like Emily Mortimer on 30 Rock, but instead of fragile bones, Lincoln has a fragile ego.

They make an entirely uneventful transition to Blake on his date with Becca. I went to high school with a billion dudes who look just like Blake, and that is probably the source of my tiny crush on Blake? I mean, Blake is likely as trash as the rest of these men but he’s trash in a sweater?7 Honestly, looking like Miles Teller and not having the personality of Miles Teller already is a win for Blake. It’s Blake’s first limo ride because last week, he rode in on an ox. And before that, a horse. Blake does not like enclosed spaces. Becca has no idea what’s happening on the date today, only that it’s been left in Chris Harrison’s hands.

A List of Chris Harrison’s Date Ideas:

Making you into a human candle

Slaughtering babies

Going to a Speculum Museum

Creating enemies

Drinking mimosas from human skulls

This is why they haven’t let this man plan a date on this show before.

They meet Chris Harrison at what only be described as a Murder Warehouse8 and he’s holding a sledgehammer. In case you’re wondering what my nightmares are like, it’s this. Chris Harrison in a button-down and jacket with no tie, holding a fucking sledgehammer. Basically, the entire premise is “Becca, you say you’re over Arby, but production isn’t quite yet, so why don’t you smash some of his shit with sledgehammers?” Y’all, did you know Arby and Becca broke up? There are TV monitors playing her proposal like some demented Truman Show, the couch he broke up with her on, and Arby’s racecar. We get it, production. The metaphor has been handed to us on a stick.

Also, this is a dream date of mine, but with just general shit. I want to smash stuff.

Then Lil’ Jon shows up and I yelled “GIVE HIM THE ROSE, BECCA!!!!!!!!!!!” I have no idea why Lil’ Jon is there other than to DJ the destruction. It’s perfectly scored to “Turn Down For What” because this show really is permanently in 2014. Regardless, Becca and Blake are getting along. Their arms are sore! Becca was nervous but not because of Blake. They already knew what they were in for and so they were relaxed. Becca points out that this show is a lot like dating in reverse - basically, you’ve already picked this person as your life partner, now get to know them - and how that created an environment where she fell for someone quicker than she thought possible. What a fascinating dynamic, honestly, and it’s amazing how simply summarized the concept of this show is. People always say “How do they do this so quickly, how can they say they’re in love after a few days?” When you’re isolated with nothing else to do but think about the possibility of a life with the only person in your vicinity, combined with someone coming into your room to talk to you only about that One Person and your relationship with them, you’d do the same. This is why distractions are good in love. When you first fall in love, keep yourself busy9.

Blake unleashes his trauma - he fell for a girl who said she loved him early on, and then everything changed and she broke up with him out of the blue not even a week later. Damn, that’s savagery. He can appreciate her being there and opening up again after her heartbreak, because he’s struggling with that. Blake gets the first one-on-one rose.

Back at the house, there’s a...

DATE CARD!!!!!!!!!

Garrett, Rickey, John, Ryan, Alex, Christon, Trent, Leo, Wills, and Colton are on the date card. Which means none for Andrew Keegan / Jason or Mike.

The guys on the group date head onto a school bus and head to a field, where Becca is waiting for them. Colton confirms his virgin status by talking about how good Becca smells - she looks good, but smells better? What? Shut up, Colton. Your facial hair isn’t enough for your chin.

They head into a gymnasium, where the men are immediately greeted by eight-year-olds throwing balls at them. The kids are there to show them dodgeball and make sure they know how to dodge a ball like Becca dodged Arby. My absolute favorite is these kids just reading these grown men to filth. One of the boys calls the men trash and asks if Becca wants trash, and I literally laughed for a solid hour.

The pink team takes the strategy to hide behind Becca because no one’s going to hit The Bachelorette, right? Wrong. Christon is just pelting her with balls. Dodgeball is a serious sport, despite what these people think. We get another occurrence of Fred Willard, who I really hope was adequately paid for this appearance because he looks like he’d rather be in bed. As quickly as the game starts it devolves into this year’s NBA finals - Leo vs. the Green Team, if Leo is Lebron James and the Green Team is the Golden State Warriors.

CAN I GET A MOMENT AND A PAT ON THE BACK FOR MY SPORTS KNOWLEDGE????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? I’LL WAIT. I’LL WAIT. I know y’all are shocked.

Becca’s shocked Leo, who is a stuntman, is good at dodging injury in dodgeball. Becca. Come ON. But the audience is living for Leo, the Last Man Standing. Eventually he’s defeated and the Green Team is the victor, but Becca’s got her eyes on him, so that’s what matters.

At the After-After Party, the guys are all on top of the world. It’s the opposite vibe from the other group date, so of course someone’s gonna come in and fuck it all up. Garrett and Becca talk about whether it was weird to get the First Impression Rose and then be sequestered into Group Date category. Garrett talks a lot about himself and calls himself the male version of Becca. Wills has the best sense of fashion out of the house, full-stop. They do rapid-fire questions, my favorite form of getting to know someone. Becca wants a relationship like her parents, and Wills does too. Wills gets emotional talking about his parents and his family, and I love Wills!!!!!!!

Is Wills my new Wells?

Colton and Becca sit down and Colton’s got something big to reveal to Becca. He tells Garrett that before filming started he had a fling with Tia from Arby’s season. I love the underlying message here: I was dating the girl who probably would have been The Bachelorette if Arby hadn’t smashed Becca’s heart. Colton, without a doubt, is there because he thought Tia would be The Bachelorette.

We’ve had the dynamic of “they hung out before and came on the show to date this person”, namely in the case of Kaitlyn Bristowe and Nick Viall. There’s no doubt in my mind this was the intentions of everyone involved - Tia, Colton, and production. There were rumors of Luke Pell, when he was still a contender for The Bachelor, taking previous Bachelor contestants and various women that if they came on the show for him, he’d guarantee them a spot in the final four and they’d get the chance to “date” while on the show. This is what cost Luke the position as The Bachelor. Colton either a) went on the show for Tia and stayed along for the ride with the hopes of getting to Paradise and (likely) dating Tia or b) is there for the Instagram followers and the fame that comes with it. The timeline doesn’t make any sense.

Colton tells Becca that he dated her friend for a few months and that it fizzled out because it was getting too serious too quickly even though they had a connection. Which is why he proceeded to go on a show where the end goal is a quick engagement? Get the fuck out of here with that logic, Colton. You also dated Aly Raisman - you’re a starfucker. He takes a long pause when he says “I’m here…. To get to know you.” He’s not, he’s there for the Instagram ads. Becca doesn’t send him home immediately like I would. He’s basically admitting to not being there for The Right Reasons, Becca!!!!!! You already had one dude choose another girl over you, and you’re into the one who has a high likelihood of doing the same thing? It’s salting a wound that already exists. Becca feels sick to her stomach about it, but doens’t sent him home on the spot.

To me, that’s production intervention. But that’s just me.

My New Boyfriend Wills gets the group date rose, but it’s begrudging.

At the cocktail party, Becca arrives in this gorgeous cobalt blue sparkly dress that is easily on par with my favorite Bachelorette Look, Joelle from The Final Five Elimination form her season. She looks gorgeous. More of this, less of the red lace, blarg.

Clay takes Becca outside and teaches her the Art of the Celebration Dance. Sometimes Clay comes off a little robotic, and I wonder if he’s just got a lack of experience with women. Which isn’t a bad thing. For a professional football player, it’s a little shocking. He’s so smooth though, because he uses what would be a “helmet bump” with his teammates to parlay a little smooch in there.

Venmo wrote Becca a poem, and he is too good to last. Venmo, call me. Connor (I think?) gives Becca a picture of himself from the mud date and they both fling his picture across the pool in order to make peace. Meanwhile, Jordan is trying to set himself apart from the other guys. He really wants Becca to know his personality, so he decides the best way to show her that is to get naked and parade through the mansion.

I mean, thus far, Jordan has done a great job of teling us his personality is basically just Being Good Looking, so this is one way to show your personality. Jordan also thinks that nothing attracts women more than being comfortable next to a sexy man, which is a very simplistic way of thinking. I’ve been comfortable around sexy men, but barely. Also, they were fully clothed at the time.

He parades past the other men in his boxer briefs and interrupts Becca’s time with David, who immediately gets his feathers ruffled10. Becca is amused, but David feels disrespected. Jordan doesn’t want Becca to get the wrong idea of him - he likes to live life on the edge, he likes to be a classy gentleman, which is why he’s sitting next to her in his skivvies on the couch. Meanwhile, David’s rattled and is immedaitely questioning Jordan’s intentions. Jordan is the kind of guy who wants to pass his name along to his son and wants to call his son Jordi, which I’m pretty sure is the name of a porn star.

What David hasn’t realized, though, is that every season has a Jordan - the guy who pushes buttons just by having a personality - and every season there’s a guy whose skin he gets under and that becomes their main focus. I’m sad it’s my boyfriend David, but I also have Venmo, Wills, and Blake in my back corner for moments like this.mp3. Last season it was Whaboom and Blake. The season prior? Alex and Chad. David also got upset earlier in the episode when Lincoln cheated and didn’t feel the need to say anything then, even though he had a legitimate reason to. Be more assertive, dude. Don’t try to approach an irrational person with rationality like you do Jordan. He doesn’t care what you think, and clearly none of the other guys are as butthurt about Jordan’s annoying behavior as you are. Jordan knows what his purpose on the show is, and he’s not going to be shamed because he literally cannot feel shame.

Also, David - you came in wearing a chicken suit last week. You’re kinda the last guy who has a leg to stand on when it comes to this.

Becca sits down with Colton and they try to unpack their conversation from prior. He wants to make sure Becca knows the reason that he’s there - to get to know her / Instagram ads - and she can trust him.

BECCA NOOOOOOO GET AWAY.

Becca talks to Chris Harrison for the thirty seconds he’s allowed for himself to be on set that day and basically tells him it’s been a hard week, but he’s like “okay, it’s time to send someone home so I can go home!!!!”

The rose ceremony starts.

Chris, Andrew Keegan / Jason, Venmo John, Clay, Mike, Connor (I think?), Leo, Chicken Daddy Bae David, Garrett, Nick, Ryan (Who I think is Mystery Bae from last week, good GOD he is fine), Christon, Jordan - with a bonus struggle to pin the rose to his blanket because of course someone in production didn’t have him change, Lincoln, and Colton are all safe.

That means bye to my mom’s dream man, Rickey, Trent, and Alex, who gives us some drunken man tears on his way out that are unintentionally hilarious.

Next Week: We’re playing some football! Jason / Andrew Keegan and Chris get some private time! Tia, Sienne, Kendall, Bekah, and Caroline are all there from Arby’s season to help the guys, and of course that’s why Colton was allowed to stay for another week, because they want to show us the love triangle of Tia/Colton/Becca. Tia totally seems liek the kind of girl who would flirt with your man in front of you. David’s white knighting Becca about Jordan. And oooh, there’s an ambulance? Someone’s fucking hurt.

See you next week!

Random Assessments from the Desk of Amanda:

So many of these guys look the same. Oh my god. Someone tell me the difference between Connor and Garrett. I really think they put them on separate group dates so Becca would remember they’re not the same person.

My mom’s picks for men this season:

Jordan is trying to be this season’s Corinne and I am not about it. I wasn’t about her, either, though.

THE LIGHTING ON THIS SHOW IS SUCH A MESS.

I really don’t like the narrative that these guys are solely here so Becca can forget another guy. Why does she have to forget him? She doesn’t even have to forgive him. It’s a part of her story, of who she is as a person. You’re as much of a person because of the pain you’ve felt as the great parts of your life. Arby is rubbish, but we must at least acknowledge his place and impact on her life. Also, replacing one trash dude with another doesn’t help.

Of course Jordan describes himself as an alpha.

I really think the reason I don’t like Lincoln is because he really does act like one of those black guys whose entire idea of success is a white wife. Like, achieving whiteness is his ultimate goal. He’s so phony, so calculated, and I don’t trust him.

I’m really struggling with coming up with a nickname for Becca. Like, I tried Bex, but I feel like Bex is going to be better served for Bekah Martinez on Paradise and her disappearing ass. Gimme suggestions in the comments.

Becca looks like June Diane Raphael, fully confirming that The Bachelorette and Burning Love are the same show.

Chris looks like Perez Hilton, 90s-era Adam Goldberg, and Ben Stiller in Dodgeball all rolled up into one rat-like person. Like, his face is permanently in “I smelled something bad” mode.

Related: Ben Stiller should get some residuals considering this season is basically full of men based on characters he has played.

I do want to take back a lot of that harsh things I said about Bryan last season. Yes, he had too many fillers put in and I did just have a thing for Peter ripping off his sweater in his breakup with Rachel, but damn. Those two have stood the test of time (or at least a year, longer than a lot of these other relationships have) and here we are. Their Instagram stories are my favorite. He loves her so much. She got him to stop putting so much filler in his cheeks. It’s all good. Plus, damn. He was lookin FINE in this episode. Get it, Rachel. ↩︎

Between him and Christina from America’s Next Top Model 24, I never want to hear the phrase “I’m a model” again. PS: Have you heard my podcast yet? ↩︎

Connor calls this a “good little bathroom break” - dude, are you advocating peeing yourself on a date? DUDE. DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE. ↩︎

I swear to god this show is trying to kill people. ↩︎

This is what Rihanna was singing about. ↩︎

Is this the first time anyone can think of where the black guy is calling the white guy aggressive and scary? This is refreshing. ↩︎

You know how my type is just Shoulders? Yeah, my type is definitely Shoulders in Sweaters. Yum. ↩︎

It’s an off-shoot of the Men’s Warehouse - you take the Toxic Masculinity Tunnel to get there. ↩︎

I actually just rewatched the episode of The Office where Michael thinks he has herpes and contacts all of his exes, only to realize he has a fantasy problem and a problem with romanticizing relationships with a revisionist history of what truly went on. Much like Michael, I understand wanting your life to be an epic story, including the Happily Ever After. But after thinking about this… I mean. If Michael had been more focused on his job like he should have been, maybe it wouldn’t have worked out for him that way? Then again, he might have married Jan. ↩︎

Come on, you know I had to. It’s an easy joke. ↩︎

[kkaebsongtypo]

A Change of Plans // Mark Lee pt. 1

(A/N: I was reading fake texts and i was just hit in the heart like ‘damn. I love Mark so much.’ then i started cooking and i just randomly thought of High School musical, and now here i am. Writing a High School musical inspired Mark Lee scenario. The musical i used in this in here was Dear Evan Hansen because i’m absolute trash for that musical. Also, it’s like hella basic because you’re casted as Zoe who is like the female lead, and Mark is casted as Evan Hansen, the male lead. T O T A L L Y  B A S I C. but it’s cute nonetheless :) I hope you  enjoy :D)

pairing: mark x fem theater nerd!reader

genre: (in later parts) fluff, because when have i ever written anything else

warnings/notes: cussing, but that’s about it. The musical may be triggering? I don’t like spoil it or anything, but if you want to know what it’s actually about then you can google it :)

word count: 27280

Side Note: I would highly recommend listening to the soundtrack if you haven’t :)

“You have got to be kidding me.” Mark stood staring at the sheet pinned to the bulletin board. Donghyuck chuckled from where he stood, leaning against the wall.

“I wasn’t lying.” he spoke, looking at Mark and shrugging.

“How am I casted as the Evan Hansen?? How am I the lead? H O W Hyuck?!” Mark turned to Donghyuck with a look of utter confusion and panic.

“This is not how this was supposed to play out.”

-2 weeks earlier-

"Come on dude!"

"It'll be fun!" Mark rolled his eyes as Donghyuck and Jeno continued badgering him.

“Alright! Alright! If I do this, will you guys finally shut up?!” the two other boys nodded eagerly and that was that. Giving in to their peer pressure, Mark scribbled his name on the audition sign up sheet. There was no going back now.

-Day of the Auditions-

“MARK. HURRY UP. WE HAVE TWENTY MINUTES.” Jeno and Donghyuck shoved Marks bag into his locker before dragging him to the theater. Twenty minutes until Donghyucks audition; Jeno was right after; and then it was Marks.

The past week was filled with Donghyucks tutoring; memorizing the audition lines and the audition song: Waving Through a Window. Mark wouldn’t admit it, but he kind of fell in love with the song. He often found himself humming it while doing homework, or walking home. Although he likes the song, that does not mean he was looking forward to this audition.

Of course, it didn’t take long for the three boys to reach the theater. Jeno checked his phone and took a deep breath. Hyuck did the same thing, and smiled.

“Fifteen minutes. You’ll do great dude.” Jeno spoke up and patted Hyucks shoulder. He looked back at Jeno with a look of almost excitement.

“Oh yeah, of course. This is nothing new. We’ve been doing this for years, Jeno. I’m just really pumped.” Jeno chuckled at Hyucks response. He was right though, he and Jeno have been doing this for years. They’ve always been apart of theater together. Mark looked at the two and smiled. Their heads turned to the theater door as it opened. Revealing Ms. Lee, one of the two choir teachers.

“Oh Donghyuck, Jeno, you’re already here.” She smiled at the boys before glancing at the clock.

“Donghyuck, would you like to maybe start early? You could come in now.” Hyuck nodded and followed Ms. Lee into the theater after looking between Jeno and Mark, who smiled at him reassuringly. Jeno looked over to Mark as the door shut.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Mark turned to Jeno, and sighed with a slight chuckle.

“Ah, well. I’m alright. I’m pretty nervous if I’m being honest.” He leaned his head against the wall, looking up. Jeno nodded and spoke softly.

“Yeah, I remember my first audition, grade 7. I totally bombed it. Well, that’s what I thought at least. I ended up getting casted as the supporting character, who happened to be the main character's best friend. Hyuck was that main character, and that’s when we really got close. We kind of developed our love for theater together. At this point, we’ve auditioned for every musical together, and we’ve always been casted. It just takes practice.” Mark watched as Jeno spoke.

“You’ve been practicing with Hyuck right?” Mark nodded. Jeno smiled and rested his hand on Mark’s shoulder briefly.

“You’ll do great. You were basically being tutored by one of the most dedicated theater nerds in this school. Trust me, Hyuck wouldn’t let you go into this without being ready. I know you might not feel ready, but you are.” Mark smiled at Jeno’s words. Within a short few minutes, the door opened and Hyuck walked out, Ms. Lee following close behind.

“Jeno, come on in.” Hyuck sat next to Mark on the floor as Jeno made his way into the theater after giving a thumbs up to his two friends.

“How was it?” Mark asked Hyuck once the door clicked shut. Hyuck glanced at Mark before letting out a breathy laugh, as he noticed the slight worry in Mark’s voice.

“It was good. Pretty simple and straight up. They’ll ask you what part you practiced and then they’ll ask you to go through the script with them from memory; just like I did with you. After that they’ll ask you to sing for them, and you’ll sing Waving Through a Window. They’ll most likely give you a bit of feedback and then that’s all really.” He gave Mark a reassuring smile.

“Don’t worry too much dude. I know you’ll do great. You know your lines, you know the song. Don’t worry about your voice either. You have a great voice, a great tone, trust me. You got this.” Mark looked at Donghyuck and nodded with a deep sigh.

“Do you want to go over your lines, practice a little?” Hyuck turned his body to face Mark as he did the same.

“Please...” Mark smiled nervously before Hyuck started to recite script. Minutes later, Jeno came out and smiled at Mark. Mark’s eyes shot to Ms. Lee, as she looked at her clipboard and read out his name.

“Mark Lee? Come on in.” She smiled softly as Jeno and Hyuck gave him some last minute reassurance. Mark took another deep breath and walked into the theater. He stopped on the stage in front of the staff.

“Alright. Hello Mark. I’m Ms. Lee, this is Mr. Oh, and Ms. Kim. How are you doing?” Ms. Lee started basic conversation, which Mark was very grateful for. Almost as if it was an ice breaker.

“Okay, which script did you prepare with for today?” Ms. Lee asked. Mark smiled softly.

“Uh, the one scene between Evan and Zoe.” Ms. Lee nodded and started to recite Zoe’s lines. Mark continued with the familiar lines as the scene went on.

“Okay, now, moving on to the singing portion. Which song did you pick? Mark smiled and rocked forward on his toes slightly.

"Waving Through a Window." Ms. Lee smiled and nodded.

Would you like the instrumental or do you want to sing it acapella?”

“Oh, uh, instrumental please..” Mark took a deep breath as Mr. Oh pressed play and the music started up. He closed his eyes as he began singing.

“I’ve learned to slam on the break, Before I even turn the key, Before I make the mistake, Before I lead with the worst of me.. Give them no reason to stare, No slippin up if you slip away, So I’ve got nothing to share, No I’ve got nothing to say.”

He began slightly shaky, but as the song continued, he grew more confident.

“Step out, Step out of the sun if you keep gettin burned. Step out, Step out of the sun because you’ve learned, Because you’ve learned..”

He could feel a smile making it’s way onto his face as he reached the chorus. At this moment, he felt no nerves. He felt… free.

“On the outside always lookin in will I Ever be more than i’ve always been, Cause’ I’m tap, tap, tappin on the glass I’m waving through a window oh I Try to speak but nobody can hear so I Wait around for an answer to appear While I'm watch, watch, watching people pass, I’m waving through a window oh, Can anybody see, Is anybody waving back at me.?”

Mark glaned at the teachers in front of him, to see them smiling. Mr. Oh stopped the music and Ms. Lee spoke up.

“Thank you Mark, that was great. Just a few notes; You’re stage presents grew the longer you were up here, you clearly got more comfortable. Quickly, you seemed to enjoy your time on stage, is this your first audition for a school musical?” Mark nodded and Ms. Lee smiled, continuing with the notes.

“It was amazing for a first audition. You seemed to enjoy your time on stage. You had very good expression; while going through the script and while singing. Uhm, yes. Over all, that was a great audition. The casting will be posted on the bulletin board right out in the hall next Friday. Thank you again.” Mark smiled and bowed to the staff, thanking them before heading towards the door.

“Hey! How was it?” Donghyuck and Jeno hurried to Mark as he stepped out of the theater.

“Oh, uh it was-” Mark began, only to be slightly interrupted by Ms. Lee calling the next name.

“Y/N, ah good, come on in dear.” Ms. Lee called.

“Hey, good luck!” Donghyuck called out to the girl as she entered the theater. Jeno shot her a smile and a thumbs up, she returned the two gestures before letting the door shut.

“Uh, anyways, it was pretty good. They said that it was pretty good for my first time auditioning for something..” Mark trailed off as the trio made their way to exit the school.

“See! We knew you’d do great! We gotta celebrate!” Jeno smiled proudly and started walking towards the bubble tea store near their school.

-Present day-

"You guys said it was just for fun!" Mark exclaimed in a panic.

"Come on dude. This is great! We're finally going to be on stage all together! We even have a performance with just the three of us! Sincerely, Me! That's so exciting Mark!" Jeno pushed the positives to drown out Marks panic and delirious state.

Mark read over the casting list once more, just to be sure his eyes weren't deceiving him.

Evan Hansen - Mark Lee Heidi Hansen - Jung EunBi Connor Murphy - Lee DongHyuck Zoe Murphy - Y/N Y/l/N Cynthia Murphy - Choi YuNa Larry Murphy - Jung YoonOh Jered Kleinman - Lee JeNo Alana Beck - Myoui Mina ... ... ...

Reality finally sank in. Mark was the lead of the musical. He thought back to his audition and what Ms. Lee said. ‘You seemed to enjoy your time on stage.’ he knew she was right. He loved being on stage.

‘Rehearsals start Monday, February 5th.’

Mark sighed in slight panic once again. He had this weekend to do some research on this musical so he’d be ready for Monday. He looked to his two friends who were chatting happily about choir, or something like that.

“Alright guys. Do you think you two could come over this weekend and teach me everything I need to know about this musical?” Hyuck and Jeno lit up with excitement and agreed right away.

“We can start now!” and with that, Hyuck was leading the other two toward Mark's house.

As the threee boys got comfortable in Mark's room, Donghyuck pulled his laptop out of his bag and pulled up the soundtrack.

“Okay. You already know the basics, so we’ll start with performances. The first performance is ‘Anybody Have a Map’ and it’s performed by...”Mark listened to Donghyuck as he explained the performance, taking mental notes of who sang what, when, and with who. This was going to be a long night.

-Monday @ rehersals-

“Alright everyone! Welcome to the first meeting for our musical this year, Dear Evan Hanson!” Mr. Oh welcomed enthusiastically. The room was full of students. Some were cast, some were makeup artists, some were there for tech crew, other’s were in charge props. Mark didn’t realize how many people would be there for this meeting.

After Mr. Oh and Ms. Lee dismissed all but the actors, they handed out the scripts.

"Evan Hansen."Mr. Oh called. Mark walked up and got his script and returned to his chair between Hyuck and Jeno. He opened up the booklet and was immediately greeted with the acts. The songs were listed along with who sang where. As he read though, he thought back to everything Jeno and Donghyuck told him about the performances; what the songs were about, what emotions they held, whether they were upbeat or not, etc.

Act 1

"Anybody Have a Map?" - Heidi, Cynthia

"Waving Through a Window" - Evan

"For Forever" - Evan

"Sincerely, Me" - Connor, Evan, Jared

"Requiem" - Zoe, Cynthia, Larry

"If I Could Tell Her" - Evan, Zoe

"Disappear" - Connor, Evan, Alana, Jared, Larry, Cynthia, Zoe

"You Will Be Found" - Company

Act 2

"Sincerely, Me" (Reprise)** - Connor, Jared

"To Break in a Glove" - Larry, Evan

"Only Us" - Zoe, Evan

"Good for You" - Heidi, Alana, Jared, Evan

"For Forever" (Reprise)** - Connor

"You Will Be Found" (Reprise)** - Company

"Words Fail" - Evan

"So Big/So Small" - Heidi

"Finale" - Company

Mark took note of where he sang and who he sang with. He mentally face palmed because he didn’t realize how many songs he sang alone; forgetting that he was the main character. He flipped through the script as the teachers spoke, observing all of his lines. Before he knew it, they were being dismissed.

“Don’t forget, we’ll be meeting every Wednesday and Friday. From 3:30 to 6:00.” Ms. Lee called out before everyone filed out of the room.

-Wednesday @ 1st official rehearsal-

Mark, Hyuck, and Jeno made their way to the theater for rehearsals. When they walked inside, they were greeted by Mr. Oh and Ms. Lee, along with the rest of the cast buzzing around. As the last few members came in, everyone took a seat in the first few rows of the theater. Mr. Oh and Ms. Lee made their way onto the stage and began to speak.

“Hello everyone! Today we are going to just listen to the songs in the order they’ll be performed in. So, just be sure to have your scripts on hand and follow along with they lyrics in the last few pages. After each song, we’ll talk about the singers and how they will potentially perform. Alright, let’s get to it.” Mr. Oh finished and pressed play on his laptop.

The first song was ‘Anybody Have a Map’ which would be sang by Heidi Hansen and Cynthia Murphy, Evan and Conner’s mothers.

“Alright. So that song, will be performed by EunBi and YuNa...” Ms. Lee spoke more directly to the two girls, who listened more intently than most other’s. Then, they continued on.

“Waving Through a Window. All of you are familiar with this one. This will be performed by Mark, who is our Evan Hansen. Mark, you did great with this song in your audition so the actually performance will be similar to how you did there...”

...

“Sincerely, Me. Mark, DongHyuck, and Jeno. You boy’s are close right? So this song, as heard, is fun and a little more loose. There will be some 'choreography', but nothing too crazy. This performance should come to you three almost naturally, it’s basically like three close friends fooling around and having fun...”

“Requiem. Y/N, our Zoe, will start off. A little later on into the song, we have YuNa and YoonOh come in. This song is a lot slower than the previous. Of course, this song is beautiful. Y/N, you sang it amazingly in your audition, so it should be easy for you three to mend your voices...”

“If I Could Tell Her is a little bit of a different kind of song. Mark, you will be the one singing most of it, but there is also some dialogue between you and Y/N. So this performance will be a little more like a conversation, similar to Sincerly, Me...”

...

...

...

...

After going through all of the songs, there was about half an hour left. Mr. Oh and Ms. Lee decided to dismiss the class. Jeno, Hyuck, and Mark made their way out after the everyone else. By the time they exited the school, Mark realized that he left his script back in the theater. He mumbled a quiet ‘shoot’ before telling the other two and hurrying back to the theater.

He pushed open the door and quickly scanned the room before his eyes landed on a someone sitting on the edge of the stage. He quietly walked in, and made his way towards the unknown figure. Once he got close enough, he recognized them to be one of the actresses.

“Uhm, hey” She jumped slightly at the sound of his voice. She looked up and pulled out her earbuds. Mark gave her a small smile. Hm.. that was kind of adorable.. She smiled back, and put her phone down after pausing her music.

"Hi, um, I'm Y/N."

HOOOKAY. So this is going to be my first serise. I love Dear Evan Hansen, and I thought it would be a cute base thing in a scenario. I'm hoping to have the next part uploaded in a few weeks. I have quite a bit going on in school, and I haven't written any more parts. I am working on some individual scenarios though, so look forward to those! I hope you enjoyed this is little part 1/prologue thing! The next one will be up as soon as I can get it done! ~ Jae☾

[panticwritten]

Okay, I’m trying to find the motivation to write and maybe I’ll get it if I complain about my maladaptive daydreaming for a spell. I started writing this in my journal and realized that it’s something worth sharing with other MaDDers. I’m gonna apologize right now because this is digging deep and I might come off as snappy or angry. That’s because I am angry. I promise that I’m, like, okay. I just know that I would have killed to see other people dealing with the same shit that I did when I was younger. 

Uhhhhhhh quick trigger warnings because upon reading this over I should probably add these. I got kind of dramatic because I apparently don’t know how to tell personal stories without theatrics and tangents.

Unhealthy coping mechanisms

Direct suicide mention

Direct self harm mention

Have my truths about MaDD.

I use my daydreams to write. I think I post mostly about my positive experiences with it, I don’t know, I don’t remember ever talking actual shit about it so here we go time to drop the real anger and frustration because I’m just realizing why this particular thing makes me so mad.

I think I’ve been giving it a positive spin but that’s. Not the truth. There are so many things that I could bitch about when it comes to maladaptive daydreams to dash out those responses of “oh yeah I also have a great imagination i love daydreaming /stars in eyes/ i got distracted one (1) time during class daydreaming about summer for half an hour” to every ‘relatable’ MaDD post that makes me want to scream.

I love my characters, I love the stories I get to write, I love the exhilaration that comes out of winning a ‘campaign’ (if I can ignore the more negative side effects), I love Connor, and all (most) of the different versions of me. I still love all of those things. It’s like loving cheese and ice cream when you’re lactose intolerant, except you can actually choose to not eat ice cream goddamn it.

I could talk about how daydreaming sometimes leaves me looking up and realizing I’ve been sitting stock still and staring at the same line of a fanfiction for six hours while my roommate tries and fails to converse with me.

How when I’m alone and I start daydream I pace, compulsively clean until I panic because I can’t get anything good enough, type or write until my fingers ache.

How realizing that I’m not the person (people?) I am in my daydreams cuts me because they can do anything, but also makes me sag in relief because they are not the kind of person I would ever inflict on the people I care about in real life.

How I spent half of senior year hiding tears because I was juggling 3+ emotionally draining longterm daydreams in between school and extracurriculars.

How until I started wearing my necklace of keys and a ring, I would look up from the worst of the dreams with sores up and down my forearm because I would scratch it to bleeding without realizing it.

How in sophomore year of high school I swallowed a bottle and a half of antidepressants because my best friend wasn’t real and had abandoned me the previous year.

How I can’t be in the dark by myself, how the idea of being underground closes my throat with panic, how I wish for physical affection but I can’t handle being touched without warning anymore, how I see characters that remind of Count Olaf and my limbic system tells me I’m not safe, how the sound of those dumb horns every Homestuck cosplayer practically nuts over makes me feel physically ill. All because of the bullshit in my daydreams.

But that’s not what I’m furious about today so I’ll save those particular stories for another day.

So. I always end up having daydreams in the universes of media I get obsessed with. There are some things I randomly don’t daydream with but sometimes I like. Look at a thing I read when I was younger and I remember how great a read it was and I’m like “hey I should read that again it was hecking good”

But I know I can’t touch that series with a ten foot pole because if I so much as read a summary suddenly I’ll have another universe I’m invested in.

I’m talking expressly about Gregor the Overlander, but that’s just the surface of the problem.

I inhaled that entire series in 5th grade and that was when I had time to read every second of the goddamn day and didn’t really daydream all that much because like?? I had books why would I need universes in my head.

That changed when I started getting yelled for reading in class once I hit middle school but that’s a whole other thing.

But yeah, I read GtO in 5th grade and loved the shit out of it because it’s a fantastic series. I want more than anything to revisit it, to read it and write dumb fanfiction involving bats and flying and awesome things, but I know that would be a huge mistake.

Gregor the Overlander joins Percy Jackson, Maybird, and so many other series I read when I was a kid that I cannot read. Last time I read Harry Potter, I had a daydream that wrecked me for a while. I started reading Series of Unfortunate Events again and I had to lock the door to that daydream because when I go into that universe I can’t function as a human being because it’s the only daydream that matches (and maybe exceeds) the emotional strain that my Escape From Furnace daydreamshave put me through. I rewatched Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood and around episode 10 I started daydreaming in that universe too.

I never know anymore what series will get me. Belgariad didn’t do it, and that’s my favorite book series on the planet. I know that neither Warrior Cats or Guardians of Ga’Hool would do it by some weird fucking instinct. Steven Universe didn’t do it, and that series is the exact kind of universe I would have a field day in. Same with Pokemon (except for the CONCEPT of the third movie, I guess).

Gravity Falls nearly made my depression rocket to worse lows than it had been in MONTHS because of the daydream it triggered. Seven Deadly Sins threw me into one, though to a lesser extent. Trollhunters, Be More Chill, Hunger Games, Homestuck, JTHM, Supernatural, Vampire Diaries, so many things, even things I didn’t expect to trip me up.

And that’s not even getting into the massive trigger that is music because I haven’t found a song that doesn’t bring me into a daydream scene in a long time.

It’s like walking on fucking eggshells.

It’s one of the things that makes me really hate my maladaptive daydreaming.

Like, I’m already fucked because when it pulls me in it turns me into a shitty friend, it gets in the way of school, writing, work, and hurts me because so much of what I care about isn’t real. It tricks me into hating myself for being hurt emotionally by the things that happen in the daydreams because obviously it’s not real how could it possibly affect my real life like this.

But I’d accepted all of that as collateral. It doesn’t matter as long as I have something to write about. I track my depression with how much I write so as long as I’m writing I must be fine. I can mitigate the damage and bend my daydreams to work for me when I really need them to. Coping mechanisms and tricking myself into daydreaming that I’m looking into a new target for the Scouts rather than researching for a paper etc. etc.

But I hate this because now I can’t even like things.

Whenever I want to read/watch something new I have to look at it really hard. I have to think, “Is this good enough that I’ll enjoy it, but not so good it’ll throw me into weeks of daydreaming, scratched forearms, blank stares, guilt, dropped grades, hurt feelings, and general exhaustion?”

I’m normally safe with certain genres. Tame rom coms. Most crime novels. Superhero movies/comics.

But then I read something I should be fine with and suddenly I have a daydream in the Fifty Shades universe so I have an excuse to slap Christian Grey in the face and go to benefit functions in an established universe with Connor. I play a game that I don’t know anything about and suddenly I’m daydreaming in the Two Souls Universe because the idea of Connor being a rift ghost tickles my brain in all the right ways I guess. I reread Homestuck because cringe culture is dead and I find a stack of SBURB discs in the Cube and I’m struggling to keep the daydream from moving further than that because I can’t, not when I already messed up winter term so much with my daydreaming. Not when I know that SBURB would mean creating more than one new universe to keep the Cube from being destroyed. Not when I know that SBURB would mean everyone involved would likely die at least once.

But at this point I know I’m just delaying the inevitable. I can distract myself with fanfiction and Grey’s Anatomy for a bit, but it won’t last forever. Everything feels like screaming in my entire body and when I know that the only way to make the screaming quieter is to find something else to write, something else to make my eyes glaze over for six hours while my roommate tries and fails to talk to me, I know I won’t hold out for long.

I love my daydreams.

But maladaptive daydreaming is about the farthest thing from being fun as I can think of. If the prospect of losing 90% of the people I care about didn’t scare the shit out of me, I would take any chance to get rid of them that was offered to me. To be a normal fucking person. As it is, all I can do is keep it from getting worse.

So I don’t read Gregor the Overlander. And I stay angry. And the screaming gets louder. And I don’t write for several weeks, praying the motivation to write will come back to me again.

[muzzmurray]

year in fic review (2017)

You can find all of the fic mentioned below on my ao3 account, savedby. If you’re looking for my football fic edition, you can find it here.

Year at a glance: Total number of completed stories: 32 Total word count: 77707

Overall Thoughts:

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? I wrote way more than I realized for this fandom, um, wow. There were a couple of months where I was writing like four or five fics and I have no idea how that happened.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? Oh, the Vegas Golden Knights! Because when they signed two, I was joking around on twitter about how I could ship them now, and my friend was like ‘well, why don’t you’ and then that evolved into Sabaton and by extension into the Bold in Gold series, which was one of the most rewarding parts of my year for sure.

What’s your own favorite story of the year? these tornadoes are for you, which was Nick/Bob and written for the Cannon Fodder exchange. The combination of magic realism, humor and their general softness was really nice to write, and @frecklebombfic did a beautiful podfic of it.

Did you take any writing risks this year? Purely in terms of style, I wrote descent, in second person, which I know tends to polarize opinions. I love it, for whenever I want to write something that feels more immediate and intimate. I actually tried to rewrite it in third person, because the friend I was writing it for told me she wasn’t a big fan of second person, but it just wouldn’t work. It had to be written exactly as it is.

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year? I’d like to finish this chaptered Mcdrai magic AU fic that I’m working on and I’d like to continue writing the Vegas Golden Knights as their narrative unfolds, so the Bold in Gold series can become a sort of written history of the team and its fandom. Ambitious, but. We’ll see. I’m already working on the next part.

From my past year of writing, what was…

My best story of this year: armet. I think this was in the works the moment I realized that there was a possibility that Flower might go to Vegas and it ended up becoming exactly what I had hoped it would be.

My most popular story of this year: i still get jealous of your old boyfriends, judging by kudos, which is actually funny to me, because for the longest time I really hated what I wrote for that fic and I ended up posting it after having it written for a period of time.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: foundations, my Marleau/Thornton fic. I mean, it’s a niche pairing and a character study, so it’s probably as good as it’s going to get, but it’s basically peak me and my love for old men and their narratives.

Most fun story to write: world i can call mine , which was my Pod_together project with @frecklebombfic . Having her input on it was so essential (as it was in many of my fics this year) and I had such a fun time discussing Auston, Zach and Mitch, and poly with her. And her podfic ended up being perfect. It was just a great project.

Story with the single sexiest moment: Man, I don’t know, I’m an ace essentially floundering in the world of smut. But I did manage to post, like 4 explicit stories this year, which just goes to show you that you can be anything you set your mind to, kids. As it is, I’m nominating this line from wake me up come tomorrow

Oscar does, adds another finger only when he feels Adam completely relax into the first. He fingers him slow and easy, watching his face as it relaxes from discomfort to pleasure. Adam makes these noises too, cut off moans, helpless and involuntary. Oscar adds a third finger and he whines, high in his throat.

Most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story: circumstance, which I hadn’t realized was still posted on anon until right now. So I’m owning up to it, I suppose. I’m not ashamed of it, because it still makes me laugh a lot on re-read, but please heed the warnings.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: your morning cup, my Tim Horton character study. I didn’t even really know anything about him when I decided I was going to be writing this fic. But as I researched and wrote, the story ended up being one of the most important things I wrote this year.

Hardest story to write: something like hope was an exercise in frustration, until I figured out how to frame it with quotes from Pekka’s Players’ Tribune article.

Biggest disappointment: I don’t really post things I’m actually unhappy with.

Biggest surprise: I was most surprised by how well fandom received Sabaton, because I figured it was something so niche that only a few people would actually click on, but it became one of my most popular stories. I’m really grateful for that.

Highlights + Wrap-up:

Favorite Opening Lines (4):

From tomorrow is going to be pretty pawsome

Ryan is halfway through his breakfast when he hears his front door opening. It’s 9am and he’s not wearing pants, so if he’s going to be robbed, he’s pretty much defenceless, unless he pelts the robber with some granola.

What still gets me is how real this ship became as the season progressed.

From Sabaton

There’re a few things Vadim expects to see when he lands in Las Vegas. His new teammate holding up a big sign with his name on it, decorated with footballs and pucks and glitter, isn’t one of them.

Am I still prissy about how badly they treated Shippy? Yes. Absolutely.

From LXXXVII

Sidney Crosby isn’t high on the list of people that Vadim expects to see in the hotel bar in Pittsburgh before the Knights game against the Penguins, and yet, there he is. Crosby is wearing a pair of thick rimmed glasses and a hat, presumably as some sort of disguise. It only makes him stand out more.

He also seems to be getting closer, swapping stools whenever Vadim glances away, until they’re sitting elbow to elbow.

Ridiculous Sid is my favorite plot device and he was in full effect in this fic.

From your morning cup

Strictly speaking, there’s never been a hockey player called Tim Horton.

I just liked the way this commands attention when you read it. I think it when you have something so niche, you need the first paragraph to grab your attention, and I think I did well here.

Favorite Closing Lines (5):

From dust in your veins

Then, Geno pulls him into another kiss, desperate, his chest shaking under Sid’s hands and Sid thinks that maybe he won't have to separate them after all.

That he can have this – his heart beating rapid fire in his chest, and Geno’s steadying palms on the muscles of his back, and the ghost of ice above them both.

I love the removable heart AU (not to be confused with the escaping heart AU) because it just works so incredibly well for those sports narratives.

From knight

“You know, it’s actually a pun, because I used to play for the London Knights and-”

“Oh my god, please stop.”

From we were a house on fire

“I want.”

“It’s been years.”

“Want still.”

“...yeah, okay.”

“Like that?”

“Yeah. Just like that.”

I love how deceptively simple this is, with no dialogue tags, but it feels like it packs a lot of punch, cutting through the complexity of their situation.

From descent

The streets of Edmonton turn slick, coated with fallen snow. Daylight is scarce, and cold besides, and you wear a jersey that doesn’t mean much to you and you watch out for the boy that means everything.

At night your curl around Connor in your bed. He always runs hot, burning in your bones and warming you from the inside out.

He presses his mouth to the nape of your neck, and you blink, mind muddled with sleep, and you realize you don’t know which one of you is the one doing the protecting.

Ask me sometime about my thoughts about enforcers and their relationships with star players, and why end up romanticizing them so much.

From armet

“Fleuuuurrrryyyy,” the fans scream, without a hint of mocking, echoing off the concrete of the building,  “Fleuuuurrrryyyyyyyy!” and it’s all he can do to smile through his tears, waving at these people who have crucified and martyred him over the years, but have loved him through it all.

His crease hasn’t changed. He pats the pipes, feels them steady beneath his palm, familiar. His teammates are all on the ice now, circling his goal, and he catches sight of Nealer coming forward with the puck. His face is grim and determined, and Flower remembers he’s got something to prove too.

He gives Nealer a sharp nod and crouches. Smiles.

He’s ready.

Flower’s game against the Pens in Vegas was emotionally devastating and I can only imagine how it’ll be when they play in Pittsburgh.

Favorite Lines From Anywhere (6):

From be your spine

The Bruins seem just fine without him, which is just a metaphor for his life, really. He notices the absence of Boston, but Boston is too big to notice he’s gone.

He limits his texts to Tuukka, and eventually they taper off, growing sparser and more impersonal as months go by. It’s understandable. Anton feels the absence of Tuukka like a phantom limb, but Tuukka is too brilliant, too beautiful, to be affected by Anton’s absence.

My first fic of the year was a homage to the journeyman player, the one who isn’t a star anywhere, the one that’s expendable. And this was one of the lines that summarized it pretty well.

From teddy bear

“I just want to be a cool dad, like Bozie! You’re the lame dad, Zach is the big brother figure and Leo is the grumpy grandpa. We all have roles to play!”

Matt bites back his first comment, and the second one. They’re both swearwords.

This whole sequence between Mo and Matt still makes me laugh really really hard.

From foundations

The Sharks are Joe’s team by virtue of wanting him more than anyone else did, but they aren’t his team like they’re Patty’s, who’s left pieces of himself in every crack in the Shark Tank concrete and who wears the jersey with more pride than anyone Joe’s ever known.

This fic hurts more now that Patty got traded.

From heart like a home

Roman is still sprawled across PK’s bed, entirely naked, reading one of PK’s magazines. His tanned skin glows in the soft yellow light of the bedside lamps. The sight never fails to make PK’s mouth go dry. As if sensing his gaze, Roman looks up, arching an elegant eyebrow, a stray curl falling across his forehead.

I want to eventually try to capture the various details of Roman/PK in a longer fic but for now this image of naked Roman will have to do.

From these tornadoes are for you

Bob is standing at the stove, muttering something to himself. He still looks like he did last night, little bolts of lightning racing across his skin, and when he turns around his eyes are still glowing pale in his face. It’s a little disconcerting, but Nick goes with it.

“What are you doing?” Nick asks, walking next to him to look at the pan and wincing. He’s careful not to touch Bob, doesn’t know what it’ll do to him. “Was this supposed to be scrambled eggs?”

I really enjoyed writing the whole scene of Bob releasing his magic in the woods, but what made me happiest to write was the morning after and how all that magic becomes somewhat of a hindrance.

From i still get jealous of your old boyfriends

“Are you telling me that Connor McDavid’s favorite show is My Super Sweet 16?” he asks incredulously. Mitch grins at him.

“Oh, no,” he says and Auston lets out a sigh of relief, “it used to be his favorite show. I think his favorite right now is Extreme Couponing.”

Connor and Extreme Couponing is the greatest love story I’ve written this year.

Fic Goals for 2017: I want to finish off the four WIPs that I didn’t manage to this year. Beyond that, I don’t have any particular expectations. I hope I can continue to enjoy writing in this fandom and that people will continue to enjoy my work.

year in fic review (2016)

[thats-pucking-amazing]

Last Name (Connor McDavid)

So this was requested by somebody not on Tumblr, but I figured I might as well post it here, too. 

Requests are open.

Warnings: Nah

Next: Auston Matthews

NOTE: I am leaving for camp tomorrow morning (in like 8 hours) so I will not be active until late Friday. I will hopefully post the Auston fic tomorrow if I have enough time. If not it will be out no later than 7pm on Friday!

“That was offside!!” You screamed from the owners box. “Offside!!!” You were in the same place you were at every Oilers game. Your father didn’t technically own the team, but he was a vice-chairman and one of the most well respected men in the hockey world.

“Y/N.” Your father called. “Why don’t you take a deep breath and the the referees handle it.”

You wrinkled your nose. “Yeah Dad, because you don’t yell at the game either. Just let me yell if I want.”

“Try to be a bit more inconspicuous.” He suggested.

“Yeah, that’ll happen.” You snorted. You heard your dad sigh but he didn’t say anything else. The two of you had an interesting relationship. You were born as your dad entered his late thirties and you were his little princess. He was super protective of you, but he let you be yourself and make your own mistakes.

You heard the phone in the box ring and your dad picked it up.

“I can’t do an intermission one. My daughter and I are watching the game together.” You heard a long sigh. “Yes, after the game ends is fine. I will wait outside the box.”

“Interview?” You asked as the action on ice paused for a commercial break. “They just can’t get enough of The Great One.”

“Always. Are you okay with that?”

“Of course, Dad. I know what your job is and who you are. I don’t mind. Besides, Connor and I are going out for a late dinner after the game.”

“Ah yes. When are you going to let me meet him in the official capacity? We know each other...but when do I get to glare at him for being my daughter’s boyfriend.”

You rolled your eyes. “Soon, Dad. I’m going to tell him you’re my dad tonight.It amazes me that he hasn’t made the connection. He knows my last name is Gretzky...and when we met he asked if I was related to you.”

“And you said??”

“I said that I’m sure I am somewhere in my family.”

“Y/N….” Your dad trailed off.

“What?!” You asked innocently. “It wasn’t a lie.” He just raised his eyebrows at you before rolling his eyes. You stuck your tongue out in response before turning your attention back to the action on the ice.

The game ended an hour later and after kissing your dad on the cheek you headed down towards the player hallway. You leaned against the wall outside the entrance to the locker room and offered various greetings to the players and faculty who waved or otherwise greeted you. Everyone was in a great mood because of the win that had happened.

You looked up from your phone when you heard the door open again and smiled as Connor walked out. “Hi babe!” You greeted skipping over to press a kiss to his lips.

He smiled and wrapped an arm around your waist. “Hi. Did you enjoy the game?”

“You know I did. Where are we going to dinner?” You asked as he led you down towards the parking garage.

“I was thinking the 24 hour diner down the road from your apartment?”

“That sounds good to me! They have the best sweet tea!”

Connor laughed and opened his car door for you. Once you were both in and buckled he pulled out and headed for the diner that was about ten minutes away.

“You were great in the game. That goal in the third was….just plain dirty.”

He laughed at you and interlocked your fingers. “I’m glad you were entertained.”

“I was definitely entertained.”

“Who did you watch with? The other girls?”

“Ummm….no.” You watched his eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“Well, then who did you sit with?” He asked.

“I mean...technically, I was standing most of the game. You know how I am. I like to yell and coach from the sideline.”

“Y/N.” He looked at you once you were parked in the diner’s lot. “You’re avoiding the question.”

“Huh. How ‘bout that. I am.” You gave him a cheeky smile and then got out of the car. Before the door closed you heard him sigh and get out on his side. You walked in and sat down in a corner booth, but he didn’t seem ready to let the topic go yet.

“So...you were telling me who you watched the game with?” He prodded.

“Actually,” You corrected. “I believe I was avoiding the question.” He just looked at you. “Fine. I watched it with my dad.”

“There. Now was that so hard?” You stuck your tongue out at his tone. “When do I get to meet your dad? We’ve been dating for almost six months...you’ve met my family.”

“I mean…..” You said the rest in a rush that you knew he wouldn’t be able to understand. Again, he just looked at you. So you repeated...this time in an understandable voice. “Technically, you’ve already met my dad.”

“What? When?” He asked confused. “I think I would have remembered meeting your dad.”

You gave a little snort of laughter. “I promise you that you remember meeting my dad. There’s no way that you don’t.”

“Well, I’m drawing a blank. Maybe you’d like to elaborate a bit?”

You procrastinated by taking a long drink of your tea. “Babe...what’s my name?”

“Y/N?”

“My full name, Connor.”

“Y/N Y/M/N Gretzky. I don’t get what that has to do with anything.” You gave him a moment to process. He didn’t appear to be making any progress.

“Connor, my last name is your giant hint.”

He stared dumbfounded and then you saw it click. “You’re not serious. Tell me you’re not serious.” You didn’t respond. “Why didn’t you ever tell me that Wayne Gretzky was your DAD?!”

“It didn’t seem important.” You answered simply.

“How is that not important? What’s he going to say when he finds out? What is the media going to think??”

“He already knows. He’s excited to meet you in the capacity of your girlfriend's father so he can glare at you like he thinks dads are supposed to when you date their daughters.” You rolled your eyes. “And who cares when the media make the connection? What does it matter?”

“It matters, Y/N.” He insisted.

“Why? You’re dating me. Not him. Just an average girl who loves hockey...especially the Edmonton Oilers. A college girl who is two years away from getting her degree. You’re not dating “The Great One”...you’re just dating me.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

You gave a shrug and looked away before eventually circling back to him. “I didn’t want you to see me as his daughter. I wanted you to see me as me.”

He gave you a blinding smile. “I do see you and I think you’re perfect just the way you are...Gretzky or not.”

“Thank you, Connor.”

“Anything for you. Now why don’t we arrange to have dinner with your dad this weekend? That way he can officially begin glaring at me.”

You laughed and he joined in. “I think that sounds perfect.”

[rising-lights]

8, 19, 24, and 39

okay people, story time! (because we all know I can’t shut up on a good day) 

(8-Have you ever met a player?) 

The short answer is yes. The first time was an accident. I was at the Verizon Center (I know it’s not called that anymore but I’m old, whatever) and it was a Caps/Habs game. Of course it so happened to be the game that coincided with this contest that had happened up in Canada where it was like win a chance to go to DC and watch a game with a former Canadien! 

As it stands, that former Canadien was a) the favorite of a friend and b) the one who came down to DC for that game. So there I am standing in line because my dad wanted funnel cake and I look up and there’s Guy Carbonneau standing there chatting with some stray Habs fans in French (which is probably why I realized it was him tbh). And I’m like, holy shit what. 

Awkward me is awkward and had chosen a Caps jersey that night instead of a Habs one but I went to talk to him anyway and he was awesome about it and took a pic with me so like I’ll prob always love him for that if nothing else because I’m still not sure how I found the nerve to do that. I almost fell down the stairs going back to my seat.

(My dad forgave the lack of funnel cake when I told him what happened. I went and got him one at the next intermission though.) 

The second part of this is shorter: the Caps basically had tabbed my dad to come to a game for military appreciation night (see also: Kit is an Army brat)  Anyway, we met Rod Langway that night and I spent the entire time silently flipping out because a) hockey and b) hall of fame player with his number retired by the Caps so yeah I’m a giant dork. I couldn’t talk; my dad spent the time talking to Langway about hockey rules and that was that. Still awesome, though. 

Aaand last but certainly not least the first time I met Shane Doan was also an accident but kind of on purpose and I pretty much owe @penaltybox14 my entire life for that one because it was like ‘yo Kit you know this thing is happening right?’ and I’m like “wtf you don’t even go here but also nope now it’s my turn to pull last minute shit on everyone”. 

(As an aside, I met awesome people at that signing too, y’all know who you are ;D) 

The second time was entirely on purpose; I skipped work to go to a Coyotes icebreaker that he did which everyone in my life laughs at because I’d been joking for months that Shane is the only one I would’ve skipped work for and then that actually happened. That said, our forever captain is a sweetheart and our current one isn’t lying when he says there’s nobody who will say anything bad about him tbh. 

(19-A player you’ve never really understood the appeal of) 

I...well. Can I be a dick and say Patrik Laine? But that’s mostly because I’m forever salty about his comments about he should’ve been taken first in the 2016 draft. Like I realize I am biased because Auston Matthews is basically our desert child in the city but like...dude. Come on. I realize that people think he’s a great player to watch and I’m not saying he’s bad at hockey or anything, I’ve just been put off by him ever since that happened, idk y’all. 

My sort of not-dick answer (I think anyway) is Connor McDavid which probably comes off as a cliche answer but...idk. I mean, I don’t hate him but I don’t necessarily like him, either? I feel like he got hyped up way too much and yeah he’s great at hockey but like...it’s sort of like when a new song comes out and then you hear it ALL THE TIME because it gets overplayed so you get sick of it? I’m not sure I”m explaining that right. 

(My I’m a sometimes bitter but always salty Caps fan answer is Sidney Crosby but honestly I wouldn’t feel that way if he was on any of my teams so we’ll just leave that there.) 

(24-do you think shootouts have a place in the game?) 

...well, okay. Because like, there’s no shootouts in the playoffs, it just rolls into sudden death overtime for as long as it takes someone to win. And while I see how that’s obviously not going to work in regular season, it’s like...there has to be some way to determine which team walks away with the two points. If a five minute overtime doesn’t do it, then what? Another five minutes, and then another until someone finally scores? You might as well go the playoff route and make it an actual 20-minute period at that point (but I feel like it should still be 5-on-5 if that happened idk). 

So as much as I hate shootouts and wish it didn’t come to that, yeah, I think they have a place. The playoff game format doesn’t make sense (at least to me) in regular season. There’s no point in running guys into the ground like that before they even make the post season (actually there’s no point running them into the ground anyway but that’s a whole other rant). I understand that shootouts might well take that long depending on who’s scoring and who’s not, but I feel like a) it’s faster because it’s one person at a time as opposed to six different guys on the ice trying to score and b) as noted, there’s gotta be a way to determine who actually wins the game. 

But y’know, that’s just me, y’all’s mileage may vary. 

(39-Have you ever been to an All-Star or Winter Classic game) 

Sadly, no. The ASG is supposed to be in St. Louis next year and I have family there so I have vague thoughts of making attempts at being there. I’m forever salty about it not having yet come to Arizona because we were supposed to have one but then the ‘06 Olympics happened and there wasn’t an ASG that year so we’re still waiting. 

As for the Winter Classic, that’s also a no but I have decided the league needs to have one here in Arizona between us and the Jets and there needs to be an alumni game that includes original!Jets and former Atlanta Thrashers. (Sometimes I think I’m funny and I’m actually not, but there we have it.) 

Anyway, hi anon. *waves*. 

[plms-hockey]

Canes @ Leafs - Game 35 - Dec.19.17

KEY NARRATIVES

Toronto Maple Leafs (20-13-1) vs. Carolina Hurricanes (14-11-7)

Tomorrow is a special day for the Maple Leafs in the ongoing 100 Years Celebrations that the NHL has been hosting since January 1st, 2017. While I find it a little strange that they're commemorating the 100th Year instead of the 100th season, who am I to turn my nose up at a party? Tomorrow is dubbed the Leafs' Next Century Game, the final hurrah for one of the Original Six franchises. While the NHL is hilariously choosy and editorial about what it presents from its history, the Maple Leafs claim a century of heritage, dating back to the Toronto Arenas who played the very first game in league history at 2:00 pm on December 19th, 1917. To commemorate this the Leafs are forcing me to watch hockey in a conference room at work at 11 am on the west coast. They'll also be wearing some throwback T Arenas Jerseys. Love me a special jersey game.

Along for the ride on this day of pomp and circumstance are the Carolina Hurricanes, a struggling non-traditional market team who didn't exist until 1972. As much as I have a soft spot for Carolina, it seems an odd choice for this game (why not another Original Six team or, on the other end of the spectrum, Vegas? It is the Next Century Game after all). At least the red and blue uniforms will contrast nicely.

Unfortunately, there might be rain on the Leafs prom night if this game looks anything like the last two the Leafs' played against the Canes. This will be the 3 game season series tie-breaker, as each team currently has a win. However, the Leafs looked like relative crap both times they faced Carolina and it was Freddie ripping the two points out of their deserving hands when they played in November.

While Carolina is still dominating in underlying metrics, with both the league highest Corsi For Percentage (shots lots more than the opposition) and the highest Expected Goals Percentage (hypothetically shoots lots better than the opposition), they've gone 4-5-0 in December and are still sitting in the last place spot in the Metro division.

It's extremely tragic.

Back in home territory for a few days after playing 5 games in 7 days, we received news that the Leafs have suffered their first serious injury of the season while Matthews is out day-to-day. Nikita Zaitsev took a blocked shot to the ankle in the third period of the game against Detroit on Friday and has now been placed on the injured reserve list, which means he's likely out for a few weeks at least. The Leafs will feel his loss on the penalty kill where he was playing league topping PK minutes with Ron Hainsey (who is averaging more than 4 minutes a night on the PK), it will be interesting to see what the Leafs' d-core looks like without him for a while.

It's been discussed, here and everywhere else, that the Gardiner-Zaitsev pairing hasn't been working, and Zaits, in particular, has had an alarmingly poor beginning of the season (especially considering he was just signed for a 4.5 million, 7-year deal over the summer). Based on practice lines, the Leafs will likely look like this against Carolina tomorrow:

Rielly - Hainsey Gardiner - Carrick Borgman - Polak

Another polarizing Leaf in Martin Marincin has been called up from the Marlies as the Leafs seventh defenseman while Zaitsev is on IR. This is a fantastic opportunity for Connor Carrick who has been (insultingly) bumped out of the lineup recently in favor of Roman Polak. Carrick had decent success in the minutes he shared with Gardiner last year and they do have some complementary skill sets, so there's a real chance here for both of them to take silver linking on a rough situation.

Likely the Leafs won't practice tomorrow with the early puck drop, so the forward lines will likely be one of the following based on Sunday/Monday practices:

SUNDAY

Marleau - Kadri - Komarov JvR - Bozak - Marner Hyman - Nylander - Brown Martin - Moore - Kapanen

MONDAY

Komarov - Kadri - Brown Marleau - Nylander - Hyman JvR - Bozak - Marner Martin - Moore - Kapanen

Subtle differences here, but the big takeaways are that Nylander will definitely be at center and Kapanen earned a spot away from Leivo, which makes sense considering he was one of the few Leafs skaters who actually looked good against Detroit on Friday.

While I love the concept of a Hyman - Nylander - Brown line based on the fact that they were all teammates on the Marlies before they were called up to the big club last year (awww), I like the idea of Nylander getting some time centering Marleau. Time next to a reliable vet (who also plays center) could be good for Willy's development/transition. Plus, Marleau and Nylander have opposing strong sides on faceoffs, which will allow the Leafs to use their draw advantage strategy on this line (in which the centers on lines with certain wingers who have opposite strong sides take turns on appropriate faceoffs, so almost all draws are by a player on their strong side, which was most commonly used between Matthews and Nylander when they've been on a line together).

Hopefully,  it goes well, as this is the last shot of the season to not be embarrassed by Carolina -- which would be nice, considering the fanfare around this supposedly historic game.

Some Key Numbers

53 - Jeff Skinner - Left Wing 20 - Sebastian Aho - Left Wing 57 - Trevor van Riemsdyk - Defenseman 86 - Teuvo Teravainen - Right Wing 5 - Noah Hanifin - Defenseman 27 - Justin Faulk - Defenseman - Captain 11 - Jordan Staal - Center - Captain

THE HIGHLIGHTS

THE POST GAME

Score: W 8-1

I probably would have got this post-game written a lot faster if I hadn't had to rewatch the Maple Leafs’ opening ceremonies like three times. While I was expecting a lot more pomp and circumstance and guest appearances, the Leafs seemed to sense that they'd done more than enough of that in the past year of celebrations and made the Next Century Game very specifically about the future. This included stupid cute photographs of all the Leafs as kids (including home-town boys Mitch Marner and Zach Hyman in their early Leafs gear). This was followed by two groups of children skating out in home and away jerseys to dramatically skate around their sides of the ice and stand with the teams for the national anthems, as well as kids in suits standing with the coaches behind the bench. Even in my grinchiest mood, it would be impossible not to find all this absolutely delightful.

But... not as delightful as this game.

The Leafs frankly blew Carolina out of the water. While Scott Darling finished the night with a heartbreaking save percentage of .778, the rest of the team looked pretty terrible as well. While perhaps there wouldn't have been 8 goals, even if Darling put up a .915 this likely would have been the Leafs’ game. They were beat out by Carolina in the Corsi battle, but considering the level of scoring effects present in a game that's 4-1 at the end of the first, it's actually shocking that the Leafs had more SOG at the end of this game, with 36 to Carolina's 33. Less surprising is the Leafs' continued expected goals dominance when they're on their game. At fives, the Leafs had 54.69% of the xGF share.

There are too many goals to break down one by one so let's just look at this delightful scoresheet where you can see that every goal was scored by a different Leaf.

Mitch Marner - 4 Points (1G, 3A) Tyler Bozak - 4 Points (1G, 3A) James van Riemsdyk - 3 Points (1G, 2A) Zach Hyman - 2 Points (2A) Patrick Marleau - 1 Point (1G) Kasperi Kapanen - 1 Point (1G) Connor Carrick - 1 Point (1G) William Nylander - 1 Point (1G) Leo Komarov - 1 Point (1G) Ron Hainsey - 1 Point (1A) Morgan Rielly - 1 Point (1A)

While the whole team looked pretty great, Mitch Marner, in particular, had a career night with his first 4 point game. While Leo's short-handed goal was the starting point, when Mitch scored on a beautiful runaway play that had him skating into the zone alone, straight through three Canes players to rip one top corner, it seemed to reawaken something in him.

It was glorious. He was all over the ice. It was like no one could touch him, including on a play where he once again waltzed through a horde of Canes to nearly score a second goal. Luckily Bozak was right there to serve up the delicacy that Marner had plated for him. Marner ended the night tied for the highest CF% on the team with a fantastic 60% at 5v5.

This game was a slump-buster all around. Marner, Nylander, and Komarov all have been waiting and waiting and finally got one in. Kapanen and Carrick both got goals and they haven't even been on the ice much in the past month or so.

On Kapanen - Mike Babcock is going to have some difficult decisions to make when Auston Matthews comes back from injury if Kappy keeps playing like he has. He was the only fourth liner with a neutral/positive CF% during this game and, as mentioned in the preview, was one of the only Leafs to look good against Detroit last Friday. As the only forward on the team who is still waiver-eligible though, it's hard to see the Leafs being able to make room for him outside of injury relief this season.

All in all, this was a game the Leafs needed. The most promising part of this game wasn't just that their offense was back, but they held kept Carolina in check in the defensive zone (something they didn't do often when they were scoring 5+ goals at the beginning of the season). While the stars sort of aligned here and Carolina seemed to have a pretty bad night, hopefully, this gives the Leafs the confidence they've appeared to lack recently.

It won't take long to find out, as the Leafs travel to Columbus today to face a rested Blue Jackets team where this new found swagger will be put to the real test.

Statistics courtesy of Corsica.Hockey, HockeyViz.com, Hockeystats.ca and Hockey-Reference.com.