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#i am so excited to water my plant and make a note on my calendar so i water at the right times
senselessalchemist · 4 months
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Got a plant for a holiday gift and I don't know if I've been so giddily excited for a present since I got my gameboy color at 8 years old
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Portrait of a Dangerous Man🎨4
Warnings: (series) non-consent sex and rape; slow creep; cucking; (this chapter) only plot hehe
This is dark!mob!Clark Kent x reader and explicit. 18+ only.  Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Synopsis: Your dream of having your work hung in an art show comes true but your first buyer is not all he seems to be.
Note: I’m at my tipping point, I swear. I’m dealing with everything in our household, new bed (delayed delivery yay!), cleaning, cooking, dog walking, and working. My only escape are my fics and this weekend I’m telling everyone to fuck off so I can do the writeathon... but sorry for the rant, enjoy more Clark.
Thanks to everyone for reading and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :)
I really hope you enjoy. 💋
<3 As usual, I’d appreciate if you let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!
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Wednesday trickled by like sand in a glass. You could hardly keep your eyes open as you typed away and a double espresso shot was the only thing that saw you through your hours at the gallery. Vanessa was excited for her next event and already asking after some new pieces from you. You promised her some from your storage unit to stave her off as you held in your yawns. 
You collapsed into bed that night beside Marcus. He complained about his day until he drifted off and you followed suit shortly after. You awoke with a decision, the echoes of your boyfriend’s gripes in your head and heart. You hated how miserable his job made him, how dull your own was. It felt like there was nothing else but the almighty dollar.
You called Clark after an email to Jim, your nerves alight in anticipation of the disgruntled reply. It didn’t matter. You were done. You didn’t need to worry about the all caps messages and curt zoom calls.
“Hey,” Clark picked up, he sounded out of breath.
“Oh, hey, sorry, it’s me,” you swiveled in your chair, “I hope I’m not disturbing you.”
“Nope, just getting in a work out,” he grunted, “you’re not bugging me if you have good news for me.”
“I think… I do,” you forced out, “I just sent in my resignation.”
“Mmm, you don’t sound… happy,” he hummed.
“I am, I think I’m just processing it,” you replied, “I said I’d let you know today so I’m letting you know.”
“Well, how soon can you be here?” he asked.
“Today?”
“Sure, why not?”
“I guess, I could leave as soon as you want me,” you said.
“I’ll send a car,” he intoned, “I’ll give the driver your number, if you don’t mind.”
“Yeah,” your voice almost squeaked, “I can do that.”
“Alright, sweetheart, see ya soon.”
The line cut out and you lowered your phone slowly. You stared at Outlook and the new email icon along the taskbar. You closed the laptop and stood. You could worry about the fallout later, right now, you had to get ready for another day of painting.
🎨
It was starting to feel like deja vu every time you arrived at Clark’s house. You got out and thanked the drive, Jeremy, before he drove off. The doors opened before you got to the top of the steps and your host was already dressed in the same outfit he wore for each session. His hair was neat but his beard was even thicker than before.
“I think you can tell I’m a little antsy to start,” he chuckled, “how are you, sweetheart?”
That pet name caught in your mind again. It might just be a habit of his. Nothing more than an absent-minded word.
“Me too, honestly,” you smiled, “but I have a weird question for you.”
“Ask away,” he said as he walked with you through the foyer.
“The beard… you want that in the portrait or--”
“Oh, ha, yeah,” he ran his fingers along his jawline, “I guess I wasn’t thinking. You’re the artist, what do you think?”
“Well, erm, either way is fine,” you said, “I was just… wondering. I’m not even close to starting on, uh, you yet. I mean, right now I’m just working on the background and basic shapes.”
“I’ll let you make the call when you get there,” he said, “say the word and it’s gone.”
“Alright,” you came to the top of the stairs and he pointed you ahead of him.
He followed you as you entered and you went about filling the jar with water and resituating the set up. He sat as you mixed and chose your brush. You climbed the ladder and peered around the canvas at him. He took on the same pose as usual and you dipped the bristles into the pigment. You could make a happy life of this.
🎨
Clark shifted and cleared his throat. You rolled your wrist and glanced back over at him as you drew your hand back from the canvas. He braced the chair and pushed himself up.
“How about a break?” he asked as he shook out his arms, “back’s a bit stiff.”
“Sure,” you said, “I think I could sit down for a moment.”
You took a step down the rung of the ladder but your toe slipped and suddenly your palette was against your chest. You slid down backwards as Clark rushed over and barely kept you from toppling the entire thing over. You laughed at yourself as he righted you and looked down at your paint-streaked shirt.
“Jesus,” you muttered.
“You okay?” he asked as he kept his hand on your upper arm, “be careful.”
“Yeah, I’m-- clumsy, is all,” you carefully pulled away and set down your brush and palette.
“Come on, sit,” he pulled up the stool and planted it before you, “take a minute.”
As you sat, he stretched his arms over his head and then out to the sides. He paced around the other side of the table, long strides as he worked the cramps from his long legs. He stopped and came up to play with a brush as you leaned an elbow on the table.
“Well, I did have another offer for you,” he said, “I was thinking of waiting but might as well ask now.”
“Oh?” you raised your brows curiously.
He swished a slender brush in the air then lowered it and picked at the tip.
“I’m having a get together on Saturday, some business friends and the like,” he said as he set the brush back with the rest, “it won’t be work. You’ve earned some time off. You can even bring the boyfriend.”
“Saturday?” you pondered, “I’m usually at the gallery on Saturdays.”
“It would be great networking,” he said, “and I already told all my friends about you. They’re excited to see your work. It will almost be like a viewing and it’s only right the artist is there.”
“I could make it work,” you mulled, “Marcus would love to come back.” You snickered, “he loves this place.”
“It’s a nice house,” he said casually, “a bit big for one person… hence, the party.”
“I’ll put it in my calendar,” you stood and slid your palette closer and cleaned it off to remix the mess of paints.
“Great,” he said as he rounded the table and brushed close to you, “it’ll be nice to look at a mug besides mine, huh?”
You laughed as you squeezed out the dark paint and nodded, “ha, sure.”
🎨
The rest of your week was spent much the same. Jeremy drove you to Clark’s and you went up to the studio to continue your work between small talk and silences that grew so thick you had to break them with mindless comments. It wasn’t enough to focus on the path of your brush as the man tugged at your attention.
Marcus was excited when you told him about the party. He raved about how he needed to let loose, about how much expensive alcohol he was going to drink, and the awesome backflip he was gonna do into the pool. You reminded him, he hadn’t done anything like that since college but he swore he could still do it.
You didn’t share the sentiment. You were anxious. You were flattered to be invited but despite what Clark said, it still felt like work. His friends were going to be there and he apparently was trying to sell them on your art. 
You didn’t realise until after you hit send on your email, but you put your livelihood in this man’s hands. A man, you reminded yourself, who was little more than a stranger.
On Friday, a day you were thankfully not called to the mansion to teeter on the ladder and paint, the buzzer rang and drew you off the couch from amid your YouTube binge. The man on the speaker called back that he had a delivery and you let him up. You took the box from him, the thick silver ribbon giving away the sender even before you could read the tag.
Inside you found a black dress with little gemstones set into the fabric like stars in the sky. It was nicer than anything you’d ever owned before and a pair of silver shoes were tucked in beneath the outfit. You took the shoes from the tissue paper and something else shifted in the bottom.
You reached in and revealed a velvet box from the depths of overzealous stuffing. You opened the lid and found a simple chain of diamonds. You gaped in disbelief. They were real. The fake ones didn’t look so nice.
You phone chimed before you could even think to call Clark. It was as if he could see you. You answered and your voice warbled pathetically.
“Hi, I was just gonna call,” you touched your throat as it constricted.
“Yeah? I got the notification that it was delivered,” he said, “you like it?”
“It’s too much,” you gulped out, “really, I can’t--”
“I want you to look nice. I want you to feel good and have a good time,” he said, “I feel like you’ve been working so hard. You need a chance to just let it all go.”
“Look, I…” you were uncertain how to handle it. It was more than generosity but you felt wrong denying it as much as you did accepting it, “I’ve never had a boss buy me diamonds. At least let me give those back.”
“Boss?” he mused on the word, “I suppose, but you gotta dress the part now, sweetheart. You’re gonna rub shoulders with a lot of rich dicks like me. Pardon my language.”
“I didn’t realise it was such an upscale thing,” you put the velvet box down and turned to sit on the couch beside the large box. You played with the silver ribbon and chewed your lip.
“Sweetheart, it’s nothing, you got this,” he said, “trust me, if you can win me over, my friends will be child’s play.”
“Mhmmm,” you stared at the tv mindlessly, “Clark?”
“Yeah?”
“Why are you doing all this?”
There was silence and you heard him sigh then a subtle metallic click.
“Because I can. And you’re a talented artist. Didn’t all the big painters used to have patrons back in the day? You know, Da Vinci and all that.”
“Sure, I guess--”
“Look, sweetheart, I’m glad you like the dress, I gotta go.”
He hung up abruptly and you turned your phone to stare at it in confusion. You were starting to get a bad feeling and that little voice in that back of your head, that little sabotaging bitch, whispered in your ear. No, you wouldn’t let your self-doubt get the best of you this time. You either grabbed this chance or you spent the rest of your life doing menial work and painting the world as it passed you by.
🎨
Friday night, Marcus couldn’t stop rambling about the party the next day. You just couldn’t get over the tickle in your chest, the same one you got before job interviews and doctor’s appointments. You were on edge, even as you spent your stress on him, your body writhing against his as you panted and pouted. It had been a while since you fucked. All the work and the stress had just let things slip past you. Maybe with your new gig, you could get back to those early days when it was all you wanted to do.
You slept soundly. You blamed the sex and the momentous week. You got up, had a lazy brunch time meal, and beat Marcus at MarioKart several times over before he convinced you it was time to get ready. 
You pulled on the gifted outfit after fighting with your make-up and hair. You gave a little tada spin to Marcus and he lifted his brow as he tried to figure out his tie.
“Wow, where’d you get that?” he purred, “fuck, let’s be late.”
He ran his hands over your hips as you neared him and fixed his tie for him. You giggled and planted a kiss on his lips.
“Jeremy’s on his way,” you warned, “I don't wanna bite the hand that feeds.”
“Oh, and it feeds you well,” Marcus chirped, “you think he’ll let me have a spin in the McClaren?”
“Maybe, but I wouldn’t. I don’t need to scrape you off the side of the road,” you took your phone as the screen lit up, “come on, he’s here.”
“Fuck, babe, really, you’re gonna make me follow you out of here with your ass looking like that?”
“Stop,” you tittered, “you know, there might be more sellers tonight?”
“Oh yeah? I guess you’ll be paying a mortgage soon enough.”
“Me?” you scoffed.
“Sure, I’ll be your sugar baby,” he kidded.
“Well, baby is accurate,” you teased as you stepped onto the elevator, “please, just behave.”
🎨
You were surprised to see Vanessa at the party but reassured to see a familiar face. Clark had been distracted by his other guests and you did your best to mingle, letting Marcus take the lead until he was distracted by another guest’s Rolex and started asking too many questions. If you did start selling art to these kinds, you suspected you’d be paying for a lot of overpriced brands. That was a worry for another time.
You stood with Vanessa and a man she introduced you to. Bruce Wayne was tall and his dark-hair was combed back neatly as he spoke over the glass of wine in his hand. You were bored of the Monet-Manet argument, one you’d heard a million times from the stubborn gallery owner, and you were at your limit of socialisation.
You excused yourself and put down your unfinished drink on a table. You looked around but couldn’t see Marcus anywhere. The last you saw him, he was with Clark but you couldn’t find him either. You frowned and wandered between the pairs and trios gabbing around the room.
Just past the bar, you looked back and still no sign of either man. You huffed and your heels clicked into the foyer and to the stairs. You’d go to the studio and sit for a moment and collect yourself. You just needed to take a breath.
You climbed the stairs slowly, the din of the party floating up behind you. You came to the top but stopped as your eyes were drawn to a pair of open doors opposite the studio. You neared and stayed against the wall as you peeked inside. Marcus admired an old-six shooter and spun the barrel.
“You got everything, man, I swear,” you hid behind the door frame and listened.
“Eh, it’s all just things,” Clark replied, “I bought that from an auctioneer down in Texas. A verified antique but it just hangs here. Not good for much but looking at it.”
“Dude, what I wouldn’t do to live here? Have cool guns and even cooler cars? Shit, you know how fucked it is that my lady is making bank and I’m over here with my dick in my hands? I mean, I’m proud of her but… I mean, if I could get paid thousands for drawing, I would’ve tried to learn.”
“She’s good. Dedicated,” Clark remarked, “she’s special. Worth more than money.”
Marcus hummed and you heard the barrel click back into the place. Neither of the men spoke as you heard something shift and Clark cleared his throat. Subtle footsteps moved around the room and you pressed yourself to the wall. You should leave and let them talk but you couldn’t help but be curious.
“Isn’t she?” Clark prodded.
“Y-yeah, but… I don’t know. I just wish I had more,” Marcus said, “I probably sound like a chump, huh?”
“You can’t have it all,” Clark replied.
“Says the guy who can buy anything and everything,” Marcus moped.
“Oh?” Clark intoned, “so… how about it then? Fifty thousand.”
“For what?” Marcus chuckled nervously.
“Her,” Clark answered.
“Her-- I… my girlfriend?” he sputtered.
“If money can buy me anything, that’s what I want,” Clark said firmly, “it’s a one time offer… whether or not you agree to it, I’m gonna fuck her.”
You skin crawled at his words and you covered your mouth in disgust and shock. You inched closer to the door to hear better as you waited for the response.
“One hundred,” Marcus said.
“Seventy-five,” Clark countered.
“That’s my girlfriend, dude,” Marcus hissed.
“And yet you’re haggling with me over her. Eighty.”
You tore yourself from the wall before you could hear anymore. You felt hollow and heavy all at once. Your eyes were glossy as you scurried over to the studio doors and pushed the left one open. You unhooked the diamond necklace and tossed it onto the paint-stained palette and rolled up your brushes.
You stormed over blindly to the easel and pushed it over. It clattered to the floor loudly but you were already out the door and halfway down the stairs. You gripped your clutch and the bundle of paintbrushes tightly as you continued on outside and the blurred outlines of luxury cars passed you by. 
You stomped up the long drive in your heels as you flicked away tears and pulled out your phone. You knew it was too good to be true. Any of it; your art, Clark, Marcus. You weren’t good for anyone unless they could get something out of you.
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maxismatchccworld · 3 years
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Patch Notes
Update 07/20/2021
PC: 1.77.131.1030 / Mac: 1.77.131.1230
Console: Version 1.44
Hello Simmers!
Hope you are well wherever you are in the world and that you are all having a fantastic Summer of Sims! We are excited to share today’s update with you. There is a lot of info, so make sure you have your tea/coffee/beverage of choice ready to read on. You all know I have my coffee ready for this!
As we continue to get ready to explore the countryside charm of Henford-on-Bagley and cannot absolutely wait to play with the adorable animals in Cottage Living, we also have updates and fixes that should improve and complement your Sims’ everyday life. We have something for everyone and we hope that you all enjoy them. Thank you for all your feedback and support.
Cheers!
-SimGuruRusskii ft. SimGuruRomeo and SimGuruJoAnna
What’s New?
Let’s start with some items that we shared in our last Sims 411! For this update, we partnered with two talented artists from the LGBTQ+ community, Ashley Lukashepsky, and Mohammed Iman Fayaz, and they have brought their inspiring and beautiful artwork into the game. We have also included the modernized version of the large afro hairstyle that we showed you. But more than tell you about it in text, let me actually attach a screenshot of everything put together:
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I love everything about this scene, not only it shows you how the artwork looks in a real game setting, but the whole scene with the two Sims and their surroundings is quite magical. Also, look at that hair! The way the light highlights it, perfection! You may also notice the hair of the Sim on the right, which was also added with this update for everyone. I want to personally thank all Simmers for their feedback and recommendations, as we are continuously working on adding more diverse hairstyles and textures to not only packs, but also to our base game.
Now that we are talking about artwork, the last patch notes I forgot to add the artwork made by the wonderful Jupiter Stevens-Hill. I apologize for that, I totally blanked out. However, I’m happy to see that a lot of you are enjoying it and placing it in your Lots! That makes a very happy Russkii =)
To find Jupiter, Ashley, and Mohammed’s paintings in Build Mode, make sure you take a look at the Paintings and Posters sort and filter by Base Game items. These artists are amazing and we hope you enjoy their creations.
Now, without further ado, let’s get to some new features and improvements that are part of this update!
A little bit of Gallery
When you download a lot made with the bb.moveobjects cheat, the game now notifies you about this so you know to activate the cheat before placing the lot. Builders, this means you won't need to mention it in the lot’s description anymore!
A little for Sims
Trying to find the Sims in the current neighborhood? Select their portraits in the Relationship Panel.
"Focus the Camera" moves the camera to the Sim.
"Lock the Camera" moves the camera to the Sim and keeps following them.
Where did the Notebook go?
Found it! The Notebook has moved out of the Phone and into its own button for quicker access.
The "Center on Current Lot" button that used to be there has moved to the top right, adjacent to the Camera Controls.
Water Tool
You now can make natural, organic bodies of water! Just head into Build Mode, make a hole with the Terrain Manipulation tool, and fill it with water. It is that easy! The Terrain Manipulation and Paint Tools also have more brush sizes to enable finer detail.
In adding the Water Tool, we also took the chance to overhaul the related tools and object categories. Why not? Enjoy!
Pond Effects
All sorts of critters are available to complete the look of your pond ranging from ducks and swans to pesky mosquitoes. There is even an alligator!
New Pond Objects
Outdoor Water Décor now has an assortment of new Pond Objects to decorate the perfect pond. Some of these objects such as the Bog Log and Colorful Lily Pads have interactions on them in Live Mode to activate Turtle and Frog effects. The new Fishing Allowed Sign enables you to stock your pond with any fish your Sims have previously caught. Try it out!
New Water Styles
Go beyond the original crystal blue and dreamy magenta water. Additional options range from “Mossy Water” to “Pond Scum” to complete that au natural look.
The Shrubs category includes new plants to complement the water styles: "Green Fern", "Leaning Not-Grass Grass", "Not-Grass Grass Sans Inflorescence."
Gardening with Children
Children now can help out in the garden by planting, watering, and weeding. They build their Mental skill as they garden. The process of purchasing and planting seeds is streamlined as well to make gardening more enjoyable for everyone.
Group Cooking
Cooking no longer is a solo affair. Sims now can cook in groups of up to five Sims including children. Start cooking together by selecting a fridge, stove, or any empty countertop.
Zoomers Food Delivery Service
Are your Sims getting tired of the same old pizza delivery every night? Well, gone are the days of redundant pizza nights. Maybe you are in the mood for pasta primavera or even a fancy steak dinner. All this and more are available courtesy of Zoomer Food Delivery. Order delivery through the phone or the refrigerator and the food will arrive in a jif.
Calendar
The calendar, previously available only with Seasons, now is available with Base Game to see upcoming events such as birthdays, school and work schedules, festivals, and fairs. You even can use it to book events, so it’s time to get to party planning!
Bug Fixes
Consoles
In Snowy Escape, skiing, sledding, and snowboarding on Bunny Slopes now contribute to the Extreme Sports Enthusiast Aspiration.
Also in Snowy Escape, Sims with high enough Skiing and Snowboarding skills now can enjoy the more advanced slopes. Sims also use the Lift to go to the top of the slopes and not go “the hard way.”
Simmers can now rotate Sims downloaded from the Gallery in Create a Sim. Spin them ‘round, ‘round, Simmers ‘round, ‘round -  like a record ‘round, ‘round, ‘round, ‘round.
The Sims 4
We made some improvements that should help our Simulation lag, particularly on the usage of some computer interactions like playing BlicBlock, along with fishing interactions, which should make the game perform a bit better. Note that this doesn’t entirely fix simulation lag but it should help and it is a step in a good direction.
Fixed an issue in which placing Mirrors directly opposite Doors would create a visual glitch in which walls and borders would disappear around them and well it was quite spooky to be honest, glad we solved that one!
Ever wish your food didn’t expire? I know I do, especially when it comes to traveling and coming back to see a fridge in pristine condition, that is a dream… but alas, it is not meant to be in life or in Sims. Fixed an issue in which traveling didn’t let food expire.
Sims stuck sleeping and couldn’t cancel that interaction? Not a product of a sci-fi film as I thought, but I can say that we have fixed this issue, well I hope.
You want to know how to not make my day, have my coffee brew endlessly but without giving me the coffee! Luckily the issue in-game about the Brew Coffee interaction being stuck has been fixed. Wasn’t it odd? Wait… Sleep and Brew Coffee were stuck in a mysterious loop? SUS.
If your Child Sims suddenly interrupted their computer sessions to draw on the activity table when Inspired, worry not, this should not happen after this update.
Fixed an issue that caused the “Items Removed” pop-up to appear when no items were removed from the game.
Fixed an issue in which setting Lots on Slipshod Mesquite would sometimes generate a crash of the game for some Simmers. The Lot couldn’t handle that much flavor.
Some blush and lipstick opacity sliders are back as they were greyed out.
Step-Parent/Child relationships are no longer missing in the Genealogy Panel. Similarly, other cases of broken families in the Genealogy Panel have been fixed as well. It is all about reconnecting or connecting with what is important.
Platforms will no longer raise in height automatically when creating new walls to intersect part of them.
We also fixed an issue in which if you placed platforms in basement levels and a staircase from the floor to the platforms, it would create this gap or hole in front of the stairs and Sims were not able to route correctly. You know, I have played many platformers in my lifetime, but do you imagine Sims trying to jump those gaps? I mean, I am called JumpFail for a reason… glad we fixed this one!
World view Lots that had some off-centered border have been adjusted.
Toddlers will no longer gain negative Sentiments against their parents randomly, especially the Festering Grudge Sentiment. I should not be laughing at this issue as I type it, I should not…<giggles>
We got word that the camera was malfunctioning and bouncing uncontrollably in some Lots across multiple Worlds. We fixed an issue that caused this, but let us know if there are new instances.
Sometimes Ghosts can be part of our Households if we choose to, however, it is really hard to live with Ghosts that constantly break things, it makes it a bit… unlivable. So our expert team of Simghostologists has communicated with these Ghosts in the non-physical realm and they have agreed to not break everything all the time.
Fixed an issue related to flooring glitches while placing the dance floor or crystal clear flooring.
Went through all the trouble in hiring a Nanny only to have your Toddler get sent to Daycare? More than a schedule conflict I imagine having the Nanny show up and there is no Toddler so what does the Nanny do in this case? Do they leave? Do they stay and wait? I must know… However, This should no longer be an issue.
Fixed an issue where using ‘{}’ (curly brackets)  in renaming objects would make these invisible in lists or UI in general.
Fixed an issue in the Likes and Dislikes section in Create a Sim that had some categories displayed incorrectly (either cut off, or words broken apart in new lines incorrectly) for some languages.
There was a clipping issue with the eye preset ymAsian13_Eyes that occurred when Sims were in extreme emotion, like Angry, and blinked. We adjusted this preset so this should not occur.
Toddlers can be picky eaters, but Toddlers not eating any fish recipe? That is suspicious, so we had a chat with the little angels and we have found a way to help them enjoy the complex flavors of our fish recipes.
Our UI team has fixed an issue in which a scrollbar appeared in the Sentiment section in the Relationship Panel when there were no sentiments. The mysterious scrollbar was mysterious. Similarly, they have also fixed an issue in which if multiple Sims gained sentiments together their thought bubbles look quite not right with the incorrect colors, so now they should look proper.
The Likes and Dislikes icon in Create a Sim will no longer overlap its text. It looked weird, honestly.
Droids (if you own Journey to Batuu) and Drones (if you own Get Famous) clipping into all kinds of objects in Build Mode? We saw that too, so there should be a fix for that in this game update. I mean this went beyond just crashing into things…
The option “Join After School Activity” will no longer be available if Simmers don’t have Seasons or Get Famous packs installed.
Sims in deviant paths now can properly reach the Level 4 of the Criminal Career.
Now, this is one that made my day, Cowplants are now able to dance again when Sims play music in front of them. Dance Cowplant, Dance!
Fixed an issue in which relationship points gained by friendly introductions were more than usual if Simmers didn’t have Snowy Escape installed.
We adjusted the color swatches for the S. Cargeaux Counter Island so that when it gets dirty, the counter doesn’t completely change colors. Dirty Counter - who dis?
Fixed an issue where the Scared Emotion UI was displaying a broken pose for Toddlers. The pose was kinda more scary than what the Toddler had been scared of, so glad that is done.
Outfits worn while Purchased and Worn in Festivals/Kiosks/Stalls should no longer remove accessories that were in place for the Sim.
Error code 134:571e5862 that occurred to some Simmers should be fixed now.
We fixed a few hairstyles (yfHair_EP05WavyBob, yfHair_EP01PartedFlat, yfHair_EP05UnderCutDreads, yfHair_EP01ShortSwept, and yfHair_DreamyCrew) that when used with the recently added color options would create splotches in the eyes, change the color of teeth, and/or change the eyelashes color.
As always the Localization team and this author have fixed and improved text across all packs and updates.
Get to Work
Aliens can now enjoy their custom Blush options in Create a Sim. Lewks out of this world!
Retail employees will now appropriately change into their assigned outfits. Listen, I grew up wearing uniforms for school, I get it, sometimes they are not the prettiest… but you have to wear them if you have to go to that establishment. I know the pain too well… but my sense of style grew from that… I think.
We made a fix to some of the swatches from the Barely Better Digital Camera that were missing a description for the item, so now all the swatches will display the text in all its glory.
Get Together
Some of these Sims are not like the others, some of these Sims just don’t belong. Can you tell which are not like the others by the time I finish writing these notes?
Fixed an issue in which some of the rooftops in Winderburg were not displaying Snow (if you own Seasons) correctly.
Fixed an issue where Sims didn’t sometimes change into their Club outfits when a Club Gathering was being held.
City Living
The Scattered Panes window in Build Mode now displays appropriate shadows in all options.
Sims enrolled in the Social Media career will now gain influence at the end of their stream instead of every few Sim-minutes.
Two hairstyles (ymHair_EP03BunHighPins and ymHair_EP03BraidedFlateBun) have been updated to reflect the correct look when choosing the Neutral Black color option.
Your Sims want to shoot some Basketball Close Shots, but they are trying to eat first? Well, now your Sims can finish eating before trying those hoops. Nutrition is important!
Cats and Dogs
We fixed an issue in which whiskers were not being seen applied to Cats. A Cat without whiskers is like Peanut butter without Jelly… or something like that! Just wrong!
Robot Vacuums should all now return to their docks accordingly. I hope this issue was not a sign that they were becoming sentient.
Sims will no longer get a Moodlet referring to the death of their Pet when witnessing the death of another Sim. The loss of a Sim is heartbreaking, but also getting a Moodlet for the death of their Pet when the Pet has not died, that is cold Grimmy, very cold.
Speaking of Robot Vacuums becoming sentient a few lines above, we fixed an issue that made the game crash when Cats would sit on the Robot Vacuum. CatonRobot.exe is now working.
We fixed an issue in which some Simmers experienced a crash with their last played Household loading into Brindleton Bay.
Seasons
Sims were changing into their cold-weather gear… while not in cold weather? We had some conversations with Sims and even though they love their winter outfits, dressing up in full winter gear in the summer was probably not the wisest choice. So the issue in which Sims randomly would change into their winter outfits while not in winter is solved.
Egg Hunts are adorable and fun! But not being able to have the furniture reset after looking for Eggs in them, can be quite the rain on Sims’ parade. But this should no longer occur.
Island Living
Mermaids will no longer keep the “Dried Scales” Moodlet when they are hydrated. Mermaids’ skincare regimen pays off! Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize!
Fixed an issue in which Lots that are placed in the sand looked quite odd displaying all edges of the Lot when it rained.
Sims that have the Collector Aspiration Trait are now able to catch Frogs in Sulani as part of their adventures exploring the island waterfall. Good Luck!
We fixed an issue in which some Simmers experienced game crashes when loading into certain lots in Mua Pe’lam. Happy Exploring!
Discover University
Sims having a hard time in Uni? No matter what they do they keep failing classes? Worry not, Sims will no longer fail classes when meeting all the criteria for course completion. Work hard, pass your classes hard!
Having Roommates can be hard. Have your Sims had Roommates complain constantly and leave even when their needs are met? Yeah, we made it so that Roommates don’t do this any longer.
Fixed an issue in which beds were counted incorrectly when placing an ad for Roommates. I mean, as much as Pets and even Toddlers can live with Roommates, the ad should be truthful to how many beds there are actually in the Lot, not count Toddlers and Pets as needing adult-sized beds.
We fixed Servo animations so that they don’t look like they are walking on one leg when hovering to their destination. Now they will hover properly.
We fixed an issue in which in some instances Professors could not go to work when a Professor NPC is added into that same Household.
Fixed an issue in which removing and adding back Household members as Roommates would create some… inappropriate moments, ahem.
Eco Lifestyle
Evergreen Harbor’s peace has been restored: roads and parts of neighborhoods no longer disappear or turn blue when businesses open in Port Promise while the Modern Development N.A.P is active.
yfBody_EP09DressShirt no longer has a weird texture in some of the footwear from various packs, especially platform shoes and chunky sneakers.
Had you moved to Cypress Terrace in Willow Creek and found you couldn’t really do anything there? We fixed the routing failures and interaction failures on the Mitey-Mitey Home - Insect Farm.
Snowy Escape
Mountain Climbing can be challenging, even for those experienced. But having indecisive moments before a climbing route like getting off and on your bike constantly seems that a lot of doubt is passing your mind… However, we did speak to these Sims that were experiencing this behavior and calmed their fears and doubts, so this should no longer be an issue.
The hairstyle yfHair_EP10BobBluntOmbre now covers all of the Sim’s ears.
For Simmers who own Seasons together with Snowy Escape, rain options no longer affect snow.
Sims no longer have the option to give a respectful or military introduction during activities such as Dancing or Bike Riding. I mean, I’m not sure about you, but I can’t dance and respectfully introduce myself at the same time. So many falls… so many falls.
We made some corrections to the Slippers that came with this pack and they should no longer display a greenish texture on Sims’ toes when selected in Create a Sim. Yikes.
Fixed an issue in which for some Simmers playing with the Yoshida Hall Household would generate a game crash when loading into Mt. Komorebi.
We took a look at our Ramen menu and have updated our cooking menu to label Miso and Egg Ramen as Vegetarian safe options. Buen Provecho!
Want to run a Restaurant in Yukimatsu but also want to enjoy the slopes? Now your Sims can enjoy the slopes and dine in style. However, this action is only directed, and will not be autonomous. In the same vein, Restaurant employees will not be tempted to leave work to enjoy the slopes.
Journey to Batuu
Batuu is an awesome destination for those who want to enjoy something fun and different, but if you bought a Droid from the Droid Depot and never saw it in your inventory, I know how frustrating it can be. Never fear, the Droids you were looking for will appear now in Inventories when purchased.
In Journey to Batuu, the First Order ID no longer disappears from inventory so Sims now can Access First Order Plans for the Top Notch Trickery Mission.
Fixed an issue with the Leveling the Playing Field Mission in which the Scoundrel Informant would not appear on the scene after Sims stole the Prototype Blaster and went to Oga’s Cantina to wait for the informant.
Dine Out
Eggs and Toast sound super basic and easy right? They will continue to be that way for our unassuming Chefs on the Chef Station since we fixed an issue that made them… challenging. Sims can also use the second burner for other recipes without fail or routing out.
StrangerVille
The Decorations and Kid's categories in Build Mode should no longer have a "New" highlight when there's nothing actually new.
Dream Home Decorator
Lighting can change the ambiance of a room, and your mood in a flash. Luckily we have fixed an issue that lighting was not even on sectional sofas to continue to set the right mood for our Sims.
Our stylists fixed the Sleep ‘N’ Study Styled Room to remove the P.R.I.M.A Computer from it as this is not an item that is accessible for everyone, pardon our dust.
Laundry Day
Fixed an issue where an animation clipped when Sims were loading their laundry machines. Because having your clothes go through you is awkward, are Sims made of fabric? I don’t think so.
Bust the Dust
Don’t need Simoleons, don’t need Fame. Don’t need dinner to have this date. It’s strong and it’s sudden and it’s cruel sometimes but it might just end your night… the power of Dust, that’s the power of Dust.
Our cleaning agents have determined that Sims won’t get romantic negative Moodlets related to filthy levels of dust in public places like parks.
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Note
I love ur fics ahhhh 😭💕 I saw ur requests were open so I couldn't resist. Can you do a Hanji x reader one shot where it's Hanji's and the reader's anniversary but Hanji ends up forgetting about the date they planned bc they're busy with their experiments and stuff. An argument ends up happening but Hanji feels guilty so she ends up forcing Erwin to let them have a day off where they have a date with their s/o. Maybe Levi and Erwin help too? Thank you sm sorry this is so specific!
HANGE NOOOO oml they would though
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Anniversary
(Zoe Hange x Reader)
AU: Canon
Warnings: None
Category: Fluff
Summary: Too busy with work, Hange forgets about their three year anniversary, and an argument ensues. Upset about this, they gets Levi and Erwin’s help to make it up to their s/o.
Words: 2.4K
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Beams of light shone through the window—blinds doing little to stop it. The sporadic rays of the sun warmed your skin, your body stirring you awake at the detection of sunlight.
You slowly open your eyes to say good morning to your lover, but you sighed in disappointment at the empty space next to you, a small dip in the bed where they always slept.
You sit up and look at the calendar. There it was, circled in bright red ink, March 7th. Your two year anniversary of dating the scientist.
You knew of their habits; staying up late working on experiments, and waking up extra early to begin again. You understood the importance of their work, but you couldn’t help but be saddened by their frequent absences. You wished, at the very least, they could find time in their day to spend with you, especially on your anniversary of all days.
You sighed, dragging yourself out of bed and to the closet, ready to get dressed and face yet another long, busy day.
---
You knocked on the door again—the third time since you had showed up to the commander’s door. After another moment of no response, you pushed the door open wordlessly, they wouldn’t care if you walked right in anyway. It was a privilege only their lover had; being able to walk in while they were working and talk to them. It was a small gesture of affection between the two of you, but a silent one. Still, you appreciated the gesture.
You stepped into the room, and the sight of Hange hunched over the desk and too dissolved in their work to notice you ignited a twinge of sympathy in you. A single, tall candle on the desk provided what little light there was in the room, and you wondered why they hadn’t even bothered to open the blinds. How long have they been awake?
“Hange?” You chirped quietly, and you saw the scientist jump at the sound of their name, turning to face you curiously. They smiled at you the second they recognized you, a satisfied hum leaving their lips. As soon as you had walked close enough to Hange’s desk, they snaked a hand around your neck, pulling you down to plant a soft kiss to your jawline, before returning their attention to the various papers on their desk.
“Good morning, love.” They greeted quietly, and the tiredness was evident in their voice—they made no attempt to hide it.
You blushed at the affectionate greeting, and made yourself comfortable, leaning against one of the many wooden bookshelves that lined the walls of their office.
“G’morning Hange.” You yawned. You thought out your next sentence carefully before you spoke it. “What are you doing up so early? We have a relaxing day ahead of us.”
Hange bore a confused look, turning to you in unfiltered curiosity. “We do?”
Now it was your turn to be confused. How did they not plan for the date the two of you had planned?
“Yeah...” You deadpanned. “We do.”
They made no verbal response, only exasperating their confused look as if to beckon a further explanation.
“Do you not realize what today is...?” You tilted to the side, perhaps testing the waters for a prank, or a temporary lapse in memory. You waited for their head to perk up and chirp out an affirmation about the date, but they did no such thing.
“...What today is?” They echoed, clearly not understanding what you were talking about.
You sighed annoyingly, eyebrows furrowing in frustration. “Our anniversary, Hange. It’s our anniversary.”
You watched their face sink in realization.
“That’s today...?” They asked meekly. It’s almost as if they could sense the incoming anger and frustration coming from you.
You groaned loudly, pulling your body away from the bookshelf and taking a few steps towards them. “Yes, Hange. It’s today.” Their face strained and they turned to look down at the stack of papers and materials on their desk, a look of ‘Oh shit’ being plastered all over their face.
“Geez, Hange!” You half shouted, causing your already exhausted partner to shrink further into their chair. “You bury yourself in your work so often, but I didn’t think you would forget our anniversary of all things! Am I seriously such a low priority to you?!”
They straightened their back suddenly, and you were reminded of how defensive they got when they felt their work was being insulted. “I have an important job, Y/N! I can’t forfeit everything to spend time with you, I have to keep working!”
You wanted nothing of their excuses, and you turned your back to them, balling up your fists as you headed towards the door, tears prickling the corners of your eyes.
“Fine,” you shuddered, “If you want to spend our anniversary alone, then be my guest!”
---
“Shit,” they paced back and forth on the wooden floor, subconsciously biting their fingernails out of stress. “Shit shit shit...”
Erwin raised an eyebrow at this, watching Hange with a stern, but amused expression. “Are you done?” His voice echoed in the small office.
“Well, four eyes,” Levi spoke, using his favorite nickname for them nonchalantly, “The first step would be to not yell at her.” He answered bluntly.
Hange threw their arms up in frustration. “Yeah, well it’s too late for that!” They grumbled. “I didn’t mean to yell at them... I was just...”
“Cranky?” Levi raised an eyebrow.
They glared at Levi with a relatively displeased expression. “You didn’t have to put it that way...”
A comfortable silence passed the room, and Hange continued to pace the room nervously as Erwin and Levi silently contemplated the estranged person’s query.
“If you really want to make it up to them,” Levi piped up once again, drawing the scientist’s attention away from their thoughts and towards the black haired man sat on the table in front of them. “Then I may have an idea.”
“YES!” Hange shouted, perhaps a little too loud as the two men in the room cringed. “Uh, I mean...” They cleared their throat. “What is it, Levi?”
“Well, first, Erwin.” Levi turned his head to face the blonde man, and Erwin matched his gaze intently. “You’re going to need to give Hange the day off, first.”
Erwin turned his head to the side, folding his arms and sighing, “Use it responsibly.”
“Thank you Erwin!” They flung their arms around the man’s broad shoulders, squeezing him happily in a hug.
They let go after a few seconds, turning to face Levi with and excited expression. “What now Levi?!”
“First,” he deadpanned, “Take a nap. You look miserable.”
---
You strode down the hallways of the barracks, a stern expression still planted on your face from the day’s earlier events.
You decided to play it just like Hange, so you deliberately avoided them in hopes to get them to understand. Was it petty? A little bit. Were you just petty enough to do it anyway? Yeah.
Still, when Erwin pulled you aside out of nowhere and said he needed you urgently, you couldn’t disobey your superior. Not that you had any indication this had to do with Hange, anyway.
“Y/N.” He spoke, boring a serious expression, despite the wildly unprofessional nature of the meeting. “You’re needed somewhere.”
“Wha...” You stumbled over your words for a moment, before asking the first question that came to mind. “Me? Why not someone else?”
He dodged the question effortlessly, continuing right where he left off. “It has to be you. And you have to go alone.” He slid a paper across your desk, but you hesitated to pick it up so quickly.
“Just go to the location I’ve marked here.” He uncrossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, signifying that he had finished speaking. “You’ll understand when you get there. Go.”
You nodded fiercely, saluting him before you turned to leave, picking up the paper as you went.
“And Y/N?” You turned to face him. “Take off your ODM gear. Wear something formal.
---
You went to the location Erwin had specified, and you were only left with more confusion. You had put on something somewhat nice, with a white button up shirt, black dress pants, and shiny black dress shoes. Still, their was no sign of any sort of “mission” that Erwin apparently needed from you.
You had found yourself in an open field, specifically the one behind the Scout regiment building. The tall grass swayed in the wind, and you noted the fact that the usual soldiers sparring in the fields were strangely absent.
But, as the sun began to set, a small light peered it’s way into your vision. You squinted, focuses your eyes on what appeared to be... a candle...?
You stuffed the map into your back pocket carelessly, speed-walking to the light out of curiosity.
You made it towards the source of the light, and it was, indeed, a candle. Of course, there was more than that. It was set on a small circular table draped in a white tablecloth, one chair on either side of it. Two empty wine glasses as well as a few pairs of utensils on each side.
You studied the sight curiously, and you pulled out a chair without thinking. As soon as you did though, you felt a hand on your shoulder, making you jump and squeak out in surprise.
You heard a hearty chuckle behind you, and you turned to face the source of the noise, but your eyes widened in surprise at the sight.
Hange stood tall in a jet black suit, smiling down at you warmly. They had their hair tied in a ponytail, and had ditched their work goggles for more formal rectangular glasses. “Sorry, Y/N.” They rubbed the back of their neck nervously. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
You took a step back, shamelessly eyeing down Hange’s attire, a pink blush creeping up on your cheeks. You meant to stay angry, but you honestly had forgotten all of your gripes upon seeing Hange dressed in such a nice outfit.
“Hange?” You sputtered, trying to hide your fluster. “What’s going on?”
They walked over to you, grabbing your shoulders and pushing you down to sit in one of the chairs.
“I felt a little bad about forgetting our anniversary,” They chuckled nervously, “So I set this up!” They smiled proudly.
“A candlelit dinner?” You mused, raising an eyebrow in amusement. “How original.” Despite your outwardly unamused reaction, you were pleasantly surprised with the display of affection.
They sat down across from you, tucking a strand of hair behind their ear.
“It’s well thought out.” You raised an eyebrow in doubt. “For the time we had...” They smiled nervously.
“I’m sure.” You chuckled. You relaxed into your chair before holding up your empty wine glass. “Did you bring anything other than empty dishes?”
Hange nodded quickly, reaching down under their table to grab something, and you quickly realized that it was the neck of a wine bottle. They popped the cork effortlessly, and poured the two of you a glass each.
You took a sip from your glass, the taste of alcohol relaxing you further into your environment.
Hange put two of theirs fingers in the their mouth and whistled loudly, causing you to wince and cover you ears.
“What was that??” You sputtered.
“Just calling over the cook.”
You nodded, taking another long sip from your wine glass. The suddenness of the situation died down, and you peered up at Hange, who seemed to be staring at you nervously. They seemed to be trying to gauge your reaction, but you weren’t giving them anything to work with, so you decided to start speaking.
“You went out of your way to do this?” You sighed, staring at them curiously.
“Yeah...” They trailed off, “I had to make it up y’know. It really wasn’t my intention to ignore you...”
They looked back up at you, and you tilted your head, prompting them to continue.
“I got consumed in my work, and completely forgot about something so important to you. It’s my mistake.” They bowed their head in apology. “So I set this up. I even got Erwin and Levi to help. I just wanted to make it up to you. I just wanted...” They looked to the side with a blush on their face. “...to make you happy.”
You smiled softly at them, understanding their apology.
“It’s fine, Hange.” You laughed out loud, causing Hange to blush at your beautiful face in the candlelight. “I forgive you.”
They smiled, relief washing over her face as the weight lifted off of their shoulders. “Thank god...” They muttered, leaning back in their chair. “I was afraid I fucked up...” They giggled.
Their face in the yellow hue of the candle make them look ethereal, and you couldn’t help your heart from fluttering as the overwhelming urge to kiss them overtook you.
You peered up through shy eyes and met their bright ones. You didn’t explain at all, but they seemed to understand as you scooted your chair closer and leaned forward. They leaned towards you as well, as your lips connected delicately. You felt their hands go up to cup your cheeks gently as you rested your own hands on the table.
You stayed like that, silently enjoying the moment for what felt like ages, until you heard a small sound to your side.
“Ahem,” The noise startled you to lean back a little bit, and Hange did the same. A man, donned in a formal outfit holding a tray of luxurious looking food.
“Ah, sorry, sorry...” Hange trailed over, slinking back into their chair quickly, their demeanor and posture not at all aligning with the formal connotations of their attire and the setting before them. You had straightened in your chair almost immediately, blushing at the fact that someone had witnessed you sharing a somewhat intimate moment with Hange.
The waiter said nothing, only rolling his eyes as he set the tray down upon the table, before turning around to walk away silently.
You scooped some food onto your plate, watching admirably as Hange did the same. Once they had finished, they turned their head up to meet your gaze before smiling.
“Happy anniversary, love.”
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This feels bad but oh well lol.
Also sorry this took so long lol I’ve been busy :|
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thesims4blogger · 3 years
Text
The Sims 4: New Game Patch (July 20th, 2021)
There’s a new Sims 4 update available for PC/Mac and Consoles. If you have auto updates enabled in Origin’s “Application Settings”, the game will auto-update once you open Origin. If you have auto-updates disabled, you will need to manually update by clicking the game in your library.
Your game should now read: PC: 1.77.131.1030 / Mac: 1.77.131.1230 / Console: Version 1.44
Remove all MODS and Custom Content before updating your game
Hello Simmers!
Hope you are well wherever you are in the world and that you are all having a fantastic Summer of Sims! We are excited to share today’s update with you. There is a lot of info, so make sure you have your tea/coffee/beverage of choice ready to read on. You all know I have my coffee ready for this!
As we continue to get ready to explore the countryside charm of Henford-on-Bagley and cannot absolutely wait to play with the adorable animals in Cottage Living, we also have updates and fixes that should improve and complement your Sims’ everyday life. We have something for everyone and we hope that you all enjoy them. Thank you for all your feedback and support.
Cheers!
-SimGuruRusskii ft. SimGuruRomeo and SimGuruJoAnna
What’s New?
Let’s start with some items that we shared in our last Sims 411!
For this update, we partnered with two talented artists from the LGBTQ+ community, Ashley Lukashepsky, and Mohammed Iman Fayaz, and they have brought their inspiring and beautiful artwork into the game. We have also included the modernized version of the large afro hairstyle that we showed you. But more than tell you about it in text, let me actually attach a screenshot of everything put together:
I love everything about this scene, not only it shows you how the artwork looks in a real game setting, but the whole scene with the two Sims and their surroundings is quite magical. Also, look at that hair! The way the light highlights it, perfection! You may also notice the hair of the Sim on the right, which was also added with this update for everyone. I want to personally thank all Simmers for their feedback and recommendations, as we are continuously working on adding more diverse hairstyles and textures to not only packs, but also to our base game.
Now that we are talking about artwork, the last patch notes I forgot to add the artwork made by the wonderful Jupiter Stevens-Hill. I apologize for that, I totally blanked out. However, I’m happy to see that a lot of you are enjoying it and placing it in your Lots! That makes a very happy Russkii =)
To find Jupiter, Ashley, and Mohammed’s paintings in Build Mode, make sure you take a look at the Paintings and Posters sort and filter by Base Game items. These artists are amazing and we hope you enjoy their creations.
Now, without further ado, let’s get to some new features and improvements that are part of this update!
A little bit of Gallery
When you download a lot made with the bb.moveobjects cheat, the game now notifies you about this so you know to activate the cheat before placing the lot. Builders, this means you won’t need to mention it in the lot’s description anymore!
A little for Sims
Trying to find the Sims in the current neighborhood? Select their portraits in the Relationship Panel.
“Focus the Camera” moves the camera to the Sim.
“Lock the Camera” moves the camera to the Sim and keeps following them.
Where did the Notebook go?
Found it! The Notebook has moved out of the Phone and into its own button for quicker access.
The “Center on Current Lot” button that used to be there has moved to the top right, adjacent to the Camera Controls.
Water Tool
You now can make natural, organic bodies of water! Just head into Build Mode, make a hole with the Terrain Manipulation tool, and fill it with water. It is that easy! The Terrain Manipulation and Paint Tools also have more brush sizes to enable finer detail.
In adding the Water Tool, we also took the chance to overhaul the related tools and object categories. Why not? Enjoy!
Pond Effects
All sorts of critters are available to complete the look of your pond ranging from ducks and swans to pesky mosquitoes. There is even an alligator!
New Pond Objects
Outdoor Water Décor now has an assortment of new Pond Objects to decorate the perfect pond. Some of these objects such as the Bog Log and Colorful Lily Pads have interactions on them in Live Mode to activate Turtle and Frog effects. The new Fishing Allowed Sign enables you to stock your pond with any fish your Sims have previously caught. Try it out!
New Water Styles
Go beyond the original crystal blue and dreamy magenta water. Additional options range from “Mossy Water” to “Pond Scum” to complete that au natural look.
The Shrubs category includes new plants to complement the water styles: “Green Fern”, “Leaning Not-Grass Grass”, “Not-Grass Grass Sans Inflorescence.”
Gardening with Children
Children now can help out in the garden by planting, watering, and weeding. They build their Mental skill as they garden. The process of purchasing and planting seeds is streamlined as well to make gardening more enjoyable for everyone.
Group Cooking
Cooking no longer is a solo affair. Sims now can cook in groups of up to five Sims including children. Start cooking together by selecting a fridge, stove, or any empty countertop.
Zoomers Food Delivery Service
Are your Sims getting tired of the same old pizza delivery every night? Well, gone are the days of redundant pizza nights. Maybe you are in the mood for pasta primavera or even a fancy steak dinner. All this and more are available courtesy of Zoomer Food Delivery. Order delivery through the phone or the refrigerator and the food will arrive in a jif.
Calendar
The calendar, previously available only with Seasons, now is available with Base Game to see upcoming events such as birthdays, school and work schedules, festivals, and fairs. You even can use it to book events, so it’s time to get to party planning!
Bug FixesConsoles
In Snowy Escape, skiing, sledding, and snowboarding on Bunny Slopes now contribute to the Extreme Sports Enthusiast Aspiration.
Also in Snowy Escape, Sims with high enough Skiing and Snowboarding skills now can enjoy the more advanced slopes. Sims also use the Lift to go to the top of the slopes and not go “the hard way.”
Simmers can now rotate Sims downloaded from the Gallery in Create a Sim. Spin them ‘round, ‘round, Simmers ‘round, ‘round –  like a record ‘round, ‘round, ‘round, ‘round.
The Sims 4
We made some improvements that should help our Simulation lag, particularly on the usage of some computer interactions like playing BlicBlock, along with fishing interactions, which should make the game perform a bit better. Note that this doesn’t entirely fix simulation lag but it should help and it is a step in a good direction.
Fixed an issue in which placing Mirrors directly opposite Doors would create a visual glitch in which walls and borders would disappear around them and well it was quite spooky to be honest, glad we solved that one!
Ever wish your food didn’t expire? I know I do, especially when it comes to traveling and coming back to see a fridge in pristine condition, that is a dream… but alas, it is not meant to be in life or in Sims. Fixed an issue in which traveling didn’t let food expire.
Sims stuck sleeping and couldn’t cancel that interaction? Not a product of a sci-fi film as I thought, but I can say that we have fixed this issue, well I hope.
You want to know how to not make my day, have my coffee brew endlessly but without giving me the coffee! Luckily the issue in-game about the Brew Coffee interaction being stuck has been fixed. Wasn’t it odd? Wait… Sleep and Brew Coffee were stuck in a mysterious loop? SUS.
If your Child Sims suddenly interrupted their computer sessions to draw on the activity table when Inspired, worry not, this should not happen after this update.
Fixed an issue that caused the “Items Removed” pop-up to appear when no items were removed from the game.
Fixed an issue in which setting Lots on Slipshod Mesquite would sometimes generate a crash of the game for some Simmers. The Lot couldn’t handle that much flavor.
Some blush and lipstick opacity sliders are back as they were greyed out.
Step-Parent/Child relationships are no longer missing in the Genealogy Panel. Similarly, other cases of broken families in the Genealogy Panel have been fixed as well. It is all about reconnecting or connecting with what is important.
Platforms will no longer raise in height automatically when creating new walls to intersect part of them.
We also fixed an issue in which if you placed platforms in basement levels and a staircase from the floor to the platforms, it would create this gap or hole in front of the stairs and Sims were not able to route correctly. You know, I have played many platformers in my lifetime, but do you imagine Sims trying to jump those gaps? I mean, I am called JumpFail for a reason… glad we fixed this one!
World view Lots that had some off-centered border have been adjusted.
Toddlers will no longer gain negative Sentiments against their parents randomly, especially the Festering Grudge Sentiment. I should not be laughing at this issue as I type it, I should not…<giggles>
We got word that the camera was malfunctioning and bouncing uncontrollably in some Lots across multiple Worlds. We fixed an issue that caused this, but let us know if there are new instances.
Sometimes Ghosts can be part of our Households if we choose to, however, it is really hard to live with Ghosts that constantly break things, it makes it a bit… unlivable. So our expert team of Simghostologists has communicated with these Ghosts in the non-physical realm and they have agreed to not break everything all the time.
Fixed an issue related to flooring glitches while placing the dance floor or crystal clear flooring.
Went through all the trouble in hiring a Nanny only to have your Toddler get sent to Daycare? More than a schedule conflict I imagine having the Nanny show up and there is no Toddler so what does the Nanny do in this case? Do they leave? Do they stay and wait? I must know… However, This should no longer be an issue.
Fixed an issue where using ‘{}’ (curly brackets)  in renaming objects would make these invisible in lists or UI in general.
Fixed an issue in the Likes and Dislikes section in Create a Sim that had some categories displayed incorrectly (either cut off, or words broken apart in new lines incorrectly) for some languages.
There was a clipping issue with the eye preset ymAsian13_Eyes that occurred when Sims were in extreme emotion, like Angry, and blinked. We adjusted this preset so this should not occur.
Toddlers can be picky eaters, but Toddlers not eating any fish recipe? That is suspicious, so we had a chat with the little angels and we have found a way to help them enjoy the complex flavors of our fish recipes.
Our UI team has fixed an issue in which a scrollbar appeared in the Sentiment section in the Relationship Panel when there were no sentiments. The mysterious scrollbar was mysterious. Similarly, they have also fixed an issue in which if multiple Sims gained sentiments together their thought bubbles look quite not right with the incorrect colors, so now they should look proper.
The Likes and Dislikes icon in Create a Sim will no longer overlap its text. It looked weird, honestly.
Droids (if you own Journey to Batuu) and Drones (if you own Get Famous) clipping into all kinds of objects in Build Mode? We saw that too, so there should be a fix for that in this game update. I mean this went beyond just crashing into things…
The option “Join After School Activity” will no longer be available if Simmers don’t have Seasons or Get Famous packs installed.
Sims in deviant paths now can properly reach the Level 4 of the Criminal Career.
Now, this is one that made my day, Cowplants are now able to dance again when Sims play music in front of them. Dance Cowplant, Dance!
Fixed an issue in which relationship points gained by friendly introductions were more than usual if Simmers didn’t have Snowy Escape installed.
We adjusted the color swatches for the S. Cargeaux Counter Island so that when it gets dirty, the counter doesn’t completely change colors. Dirty Counter – who dis?
Fixed an issue where the Scared Emotion UI was displaying a broken pose for Toddlers. The pose was kinda more scary than what the Toddler had been scared of, so glad that is done.
Outfits worn while Purchased and Worn in Festivals/Kiosks/Stalls should no longer remove accessories that were in place for the Sim.
Error code 134:571e5862 that occurred to some Simmers should be fixed now.
We fixed a few hairstyles (yfHair_EP05WavyBob, yfHair_EP01PartedFlat, yfHair_EP05UnderCutDreads, yfHair_EP01ShortSwept, and yfHair_DreamyCrew) that when used with the recently added color options would create splotches in the eyes, change the color of teeth, and/or change the eyelashes color.
As always the Localization team and this author have fixed and improved text across all packs and updates.
Get to Work
Aliens can now enjoy their custom Blush options in Create a Sim. Lewks out of this world!
Retail employees will now appropriately change into their assigned outfits. Listen, I grew up wearing uniforms for school, I get it, sometimes they are not the prettiest… but you have to wear them if you have to go to that establishment. I know the pain too well… but my sense of style grew from that… I think.
We made a fix to some of the swatches from the Barely Better Digital Camera that were missing a description for the item, so now all the swatches will display the text in all its glory.
Get Together
Some of these Sims are not like the others, some of these Sims just don’t belong. Can you tell which are not like the others by the time I finish writing these notes?
Fixed an issue in which some of the rooftops in Winderburg were not displaying Snow (if you own Seasons) correctly.
Fixed an issue where Sims didn’t sometimes change into their Club outfits when a Club Gathering was being held.
City Living
The Scattered Panes window in Build Mode now displays appropriate shadows in all options.
Sims enrolled in the Social Media career will now gain influence at the end of their stream instead of every few Sim-minutes.
Two hairstyles (ymHair_EP03BunHighPins and ymHair_EP03BraidedFlateBun) have been updated to reflect the correct look when choosing the Neutral Black color option.
Your Sims want to shoot some Basketball Close Shots, but they are trying to eat first? Well, now your Sims can finish eating before trying those hoops. Nutrition is important!
Cats and Dogs
We fixed an issue in which whiskers were not being seen applied to Cats. A Cat without whiskers is like Peanut butter without Jelly… or something like that! Just wrong!
Robot Vacuums should all now return to their docks accordingly. I hope this issue was not a sign that they were becoming sentient.
Sims will no longer get a Moodlet referring to the death of their Pet when witnessing the death of another Sim. The loss of a Sim is heartbreaking, but also getting a Moodlet for the death of their Pet when the Pet has not died, that is cold Grimmy, very cold.
Speaking of Robot Vacuums becoming sentient a few lines above, we fixed an issue that made the game crash when Cats would sit on the Robot Vacuum. CatonRobot.exe is now working.
We fixed an issue in which some Simmers experienced a crash with their last played Household loading into Brindleton Bay.
Seasons
Sims were changing into their cold-weather gear… while not in cold weather? We had some conversations with Sims and even though they love their winter outfits, dressing up in full winter gear in the summer was probably not the wisest choice. So the issue in which Sims randomly would change into their winter outfits while not in winter is solved.
Egg Hunts are adorable and fun! But not being able to have the furniture reset after looking for Eggs in them, can be quite the rain on Sims’ parade. But this should no longer occur.
Island Living
Mermaids will no longer keep the “Dried Scales” Moodlet when they are hydrated. Mermaids’ skincare regimen pays off! Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize!
Fixed an issue in which Lots that are placed in the sand looked quite odd displaying all edges of the Lot when it rained.
Sims that have the Collector Aspiration Trait are now able to catch Frogs in Sulani as part of their adventures exploring the island waterfall. Good Luck!
We fixed an issue in which some Simmers experienced game crashes when loading into certain lots in Mua Pe’lam. Happy Exploring!
Discover University
Sims having a hard time in Uni? No matter what they do they keep failing classes? Worry not, Sims will no longer fail classes when meeting all the criteria for course completion. Work hard, pass your classes hard!
Having Roommates can be hard. Have your Sims had Roommates complain constantly and leave even when their needs are met? Yeah, we made it so that Roommates don’t do this any longer.
Fixed an issue in which beds were counted incorrectly when placing an ad for Roommates. I mean, as much as Pets and even Toddlers can live with Roommates, the ad should be truthful to how many beds there are actually in the Lot, not count Toddlers and Pets as needing adult-sized beds.
We fixed Servo animations so that they don’t look like they are walking on one leg when hovering to their destination. Now they will hover properly.
We fixed an issue in which in some instances Professors could not go to work when a Professor NPC is added into that same Household.
Fixed an issue in which removing and adding back Household members as Roommates would create some… inappropriate moments, ahem.
Eco Lifestyle
Evergreen Harbor’s peace has been restored: roads and parts of neighborhoods no longer disappear or turn blue when businesses open in Port Promise while the Modern Development N.A.P is active.
yfBody_EP09DressShirt no longer has a weird texture in some of the footwear from various packs, especially platform shoes and chunky sneakers.
Had you moved to Cypress Terrace in Willow Creek and found you couldn’t really do anything there? We fixed the routing failures and interaction failures on the Mitey-Mitey Home – Insect Farm.
Snowy Escape
Mountain Climbing can be challenging, even for those experienced. But having indecisive moments before a climbing route like getting off and on your bike constantly seems that a lot of doubt is passing your mind… However, we did speak to these Sims that were experiencing this behavior and calmed their fears and doubts, so this should no longer be an issue.
The hairstyle yfHair_EP10BobBluntOmbre now covers all of the Sim’s ears.
For Simmers who own Seasons together with Snowy Escape, rain options no longer affect snow.
Sims no longer have the option to give a respectful or military introduction during activities such as Dancing or Bike Riding. I mean, I’m not sure about you, but I can’t dance and respectfully introduce myself at the same time. So many falls… so many falls.
We made some corrections to the Slippers that came with this pack and they should no longer display a greenish texture on Sims’ toes when selected in Create a Sim. Yikes.
Fixed an issue in which for some Simmers playing with the Yoshida Hall Household would generate a game crash when loading into Mt. Komorebi.
We took a look at our Ramen menu and have updated our cooking menu to label Miso and Egg Ramen as Vegetarian safe options. Buen Provecho!
Want to run a Restaurant in Yukimatsu but also want to enjoy the slopes? Now your Sims can enjoy the slopes and dine in style. However, this action is only directed, and will not be autonomous. In the same vein, Restaurant employees will not be tempted to leave work to enjoy the slopes.
Journey to Batuu
Batuu is an awesome destination for those who want to enjoy something fun and different, but if you bought a Droid from the Droid Depot and never saw it in your inventory, I know how frustrating it can be. Never fear, the Droids you were looking for will appear now in Inventories when purchased.
In Journey to Batuu, the First Order ID no longer disappears from inventory so Sims now can Access First Order Plans for the Top Notch Trickery Mission.
Fixed an issue with the Leveling the Playing Field Mission in which the Scoundrel Informant would not appear on the scene after Sims stole the Prototype Blaster and went to Oga’s Cantina to wait for the informant.
Dine Out
Eggs and Toast sound super basic and easy right? They will continue to be that way for our unassuming Chefs on the Chef Station since we fixed an issue that made them… challenging. Sims can also use the second burner for other recipes without fail or routing out.
StrangerVille
The Decorations and Kid’s categories in Build Mode should no longer have a “New” highlight when there’s nothing actually new.
Dream Home Decorator
Lighting can change the ambiance of a room, and your mood in a flash. Luckily we have fixed an issue that lighting was not even on sectional sofas to continue to set the right mood for our Sims.
Our stylists fixed the Sleep ‘N’ Study Styled Room to remove the P.R.I.M.A Computer from it as this is not an item that is accessible for everyone, pardon our dust.
Laundry Day
Fixed an issue where an animation clipped when Sims were loading their laundry machines. Because having your clothes go through you is awkward, are Sims made of fabric? I don’t think so.
Bust the Dust
Don’t need Simoleons, don’t need Fame. Don’t need dinner to have this date. It’s strong and it’s sudden and it’s cruel sometimes but it might just end your night… the power of Dust, that’s the power of Dust.
Our cleaning agents have determined that Sims won’t get romantic negative Moodlets related to filthy levels of dust in public places like parks.
66 notes · View notes
sondepoch · 4 years
Text
Endless Struggle (Saeran x Reader)
Saeran's birthday is approaching and you don't know what to get him. At least, until you hear him play the piano.
~Oneshot
MASTERLIST 
Saeran's birthday was coming up.
Well, not really—his birthday was almost two months away—but the special date you'd circled in red on your calendar was definitely approaching, and quicker than you wanted it to.
What should I get him? You wondered, daydreaming about all the ways you could draw forth his cute smile. The boy was normally so stoic: distant and hardened from years of taking Elixirs and doing the Savior's dirty work. But beneath all the anger and rudeness you knew that he had a softer side, even if he only showed it to you.
What to get him...
You couldn't buy flowers.
That was your gift last year. And the year before, you'd helped him select the magenta blazer that he'd loved so much he bought three more pairs of it—though was back when he was still Ray, and before he donned the black suit.
You groaned.
You really, really wanted to get him something good. Something he'd love. Something that would wash away the tired look in his eyes, leaving only the fresh expression of wonder and happiness.
But what?
Since the new year had begun, you'd been wondering what to get Saeran at the back of your mind. Months had passed, and you still had no idea! Woe is me, you thought, pouting.
But if you couldn't come up with anything on your own, then you'd just need to find Saeran and ask him. Not directly, of course. A girl has to be subtle.
"Saeran~" You cooed, knocking and opening the door of the Development Room where Saeran spent all his time. The boy blinked at you in surprise.
"(Y/N)?" He asked warily as you wrapped him in a hug from behind. "What are you doing here? Don't you have work?"
"I got bored!" You explained. "And the Savior has given all disciples the day off to prepare for tonight's Recruitment Ceremony."
Saeran sighed, and you saw the hardness fade from his eyes ever-so-slightly. "Then shouldn't you be off, preparing?"
"I prepared last week. I didn't know that she'd be giving us special time off. So come spend some time with me! You've been cooped up in this room for, what, the past twenty hours?"
Saeran looked away, saying nothing.
"Even longer?" You frowned.
"Doesn't matter," He muttered sullenly.
You rolled your eyes, pulling Saeran's arm. "I never said I'd go with you!!" He shouted, but he allowed you to drag him along nonetheless. Honestly, you didn't know where you were taking him, only vaguely aware that you somehow needed to find out what his new hobbies were so that you could buy him a fitting birthday gift, but for the present moment all that mattered was that you'd managed to steal the boy from his work, and your eyes were bright with the promise of a whole afternoon with the hacker.
"The flower garden?" He asked, somewhat disappointed. "You know I don't like this place."
That much was true. Your legs brought you here on your own, perhaps reminiscent of the time you'd kissed Saeran here three years ago. No, you reminded yourself firmly. The man I kissed was Ray. Not Saeran. Saeran doesn't see me that way. And it hurt to admit it, but that was the truth.
"There's a specific flower I wanted to show you," You informed Saeran, wrapping your hand around his and pulling him to the spot you'd been at yesterday. "I think you might like it."
"I don't like flowers," Saeran murmured, but he let you lead the way.
You stopped at the location where you'd spent at least ten minutes the prior night, swooning at the beauty of the plant, and let out a cry of disbelief. "It's not here!"
"Hm?" Saeran raised his eyebrows. "What's not here?"
"Yesterday, there was a really pretty plant bush that was growing multicolored flowers! The petals were (h/c) and white...and the buds were mint-colored and (e/c)...and I thought that you'd think it was cool because it reminded me of us." You frowned, unable to hide how upset you were. "Why would anyone pluck such a beautiful flower bush?"
You stared at the spot where once a lovely plant had grown and now all that was left was its dying roots, wallowing in your frustration.
"H-hey, don't be so sad," Saeran murmured, giving your shoulder a comforting squeeze. He sighed when you didn't respond. "Alright, come here," He murmured, outstretching his arms toward you while averting his eyes, a light pink painting his cheeks.
A soft smile graced your lips when you saw that. Saeran's hugs were rare, almost as rare as his smiles, and you never failed to cherish the moments when he was feeling kind enough to give one. You readily stepped into his embrace, finding comfort in his arms as they wrapped around you, ignoring the whispers of other believers in the gardens.
At least, you were able to ignore them. Without even looking up, you could tell that Saeran had intimidated them into silence with one of his glares, tightening his hold around you protectively.
You understood why the believers would whisper.
You and Saeran were an unlikely pair in the Mint Eye, as different from each other as day and night. Only you had seen the soft side of the white-haired boy, and to the rest of the world, he seemed like the persona he had adopted to hide his inner self: cold, mean, and scary.
You, on the other hand, were a ball of sunshine, always smiling and laughing and were friends with everyone.
Your friendship made little sense to others, but you knew that it was sound. Saeran was the mint and you were the magenta; the yin to your yang, the cool and the warmth, the shadow and the sunshine.
You pulled back from the hug, smiling warmly up at him. "Let's go!" Yet again, he didn't question you as you pulled him through the maze of the Mint Eye's halls, walking and walking and walking...until you couldn't pretend anymore. "Um, Saeran?" You asked, hesitant.
"Yes?"
"I think I'm lost."
Saeran laughed, not a condescending or arrogant laugh but a genuine, amused laugh. "I was wondering what you were doing here."
"'Here?' Where are we?"
"See that door over there?"
"Yeah."
"That's my room."
You almost choked. You'd never been in Saeran's room before, never even been close. He'd always visited yours whenever he came looking for you, and in all the years you were at the Mint Eye, you never bothered asking about his quarters because you knew that members of the Savior's council all had rooms at the very top of the Mint Eye, far beyond what anyone would consider normal walking distance.
"Is that why there were so many stairs?" You muttered, suddenly feeling tired at the thought of going all the way back. You'd wandered around for at least forty-five minutes before finding this place.
"What, are you tired?" Saeran teased, before realizing that he had the truth of it. "Oh. Well, here, come into my room, then."
You raised your eyebrows. You'd never been invited into another man's room...not even when Saeran had been Ray. What message am I sending if I go into his room? You wondered, before feeling stupid. Dummy. Saeran doesn't see me that way, and he never will.
You followed Saeran, surprised at how polished and neat everything was. "It's so bare," You murmured. His room was scant, furnished with only a small bed, an empty desk, and a piano in the far end. "There's so much empty space."
Saeran nodded at your words, straightening the quilt on his mattress before sitting on it. "I tend to sleep in the Development Room, so don't come here much. Even my clothes are there. This room is more of a...big closet, when you think about it."
You strolled over to the piano, studying the wood carefully before pressing a key. The note, rich and full, resonated throughout the room, but when you pulled your finger away there was dust on it.
"Ah, the Savior gave that to me when she first formed the Mint Eye. That was back when...when I still had free time to play." Saeran glanced at it wistfully, before crossing his arms. Something about the memory seemed to make him uncomfortable.
"Play something for me," You murmured, patting the mahogany piano bench. The instrument was a baby grand in all its glory, it was such a shame to let it stand forsaken and unplayed. "Play anything you want."
Saeran seemed hesitant at first, but he finally gave in to your hopeful eyes, taking his time to wipe the dust off the piano before settling his fingers over the keys. The silence before he began playing was overwhelming, not even the sound of breathing audible as you waited for Saeran to begin playing.
Then, the music started.
Instinctively, you closed your eyes. It was such a soft melody. Truly beautiful in every way: delicate, peaceful, calm. You basked in the tranquility of the phrase, loving every moment of it until Saeran moved on to the next, which you loved just as much, and the next, and the next, and the next.
Without you even realizing, the melody had turned from a gentle kitten to a roaring lioness, loud and confident and bold, with Saeran throwing all his energy into hitting the keys, letting the notes echo off the walls until the air was filled with nothing but you, him, and the music.
The melody was climbing now, crescendoing to what you could only imagine would be the true climax of this piece, the burst of passion and excitement that the entire beginning had been leading up to. Saeran's fingers danced, nimble like dolphins jumping out of the water as his fingers soared from key to key, black to white, note to note.
And then he stopped.
"...Saeran?"
You opened your eyes, gazing down at the boy who was now staring sullenly at the keys. "I never learned past that. I don't know how it goes," He muttered, closing the fallboard and the conversation in one, abruptly standing up.
But you wouldn't give up.
"Do you...know the name of the piece?"
"No."
"The composer?"
"No."
"How about—"
"If you're so interested in the piano, you can play here when you want. Alone. When I'm not here." You flinched at the roughness of Saeran's words, and he seemed to notice, his once hard gaze turning apologetic. "Sorry...here, I'll take you back."
You let the boy lead you back to your room in the Mint Eye in silence, mentally noting the path that he was making in case you ever wanted to return. At the back of your mind, you cursed. You'd originally sought out Saeran so that you could figure out what to get him for his birthday, and you were no closer to finding a gift at the end of the day than you were at the beginning.
Unless...
You stopped Saeran, telling him he could leave since you "had to use the bathroom," and that you knew the way to your room from here.
He raised an eyebrow at you as you dashed off, calling after you that the bathroom was in the opposite direction, but he could only smile as you continued running, well-aware that you were off on another one of your spontaneous quests in the Mint Eye.
Little did he know that this time your journey would lead back to him. Two months in the months in the future. As his birthday present.
You couldn't suppress a smile from forming on your face when you finally found yourself in the Mint Eye's music library. The Savior had ensured that her believers would find true happiness in salvation, and so she had rooms for every pastime imaginable, music included.
It took you three minutes to find the piano section, whereupon you instantly began playing CD after CD, skipping tracks when you heard their beginnings, listening cautiously for the signature opening that Saeran had played for you less than an hour ago. The piece has to be in here, you knew, resolving to return later when you had to leave for the Recruitment Ceremony.
And you held true to yourself, returning the following day and then all the days after.
You were almost done with all the pieces that started with A after two days, and it took you even less time to go through the B's. Finishing the C tracks took you a while, though, and by D you began to worry, fearing that you'd forgotten the melody of the piece.
What if by the time I come across the piece he played, I've already forgotten the tune of it? You plugged in the first in the E's with hesitance, worried that your efforts were futile. What if the piece he played isn't even in the music library?
Whatever your concerns were, though, you didn't let them stop you from continuing. Evening stretched into night and night stretched into morning and you still hadn't heard anything that remotely resembled the piece Saeran had played for you until you were halfway through the E's.
You paused as soon as the track began playing, almost unwilling to believe it.
Is this the piece? You wondered, listening to the soft opening. It was so soothing. So peaceful. So familiar.
But as the melody progressed and the piece continued, all the doubts in your mind faded. No question, this was the piece Saeran had played for you. It had the same variations in tempo, the same polyrhythmic texture, the same characteristic changes in dynamics, the same musical elegance.
You felt your heart swell as the peak of the song approached, and felt tears of joy prick your eyes when the track continued playing on where Saeran had stopped, completing the phrase and soon completing the song.
This is it, you realized, pulling the track out and studying its name.
Endless Struggle.
You checked the CD and the corresponding sheet music out of the music library with your keycard, making sure that the halls were empty before exiting. You felt giddy with excitement, elated at the fact that you'd actually found it.
This would be the perfect gift!
You could wrap up the sheet music in a nice package, and give Saeran a chance to complete the memory he had started when he'd been younger. Except... You frowned when you considered the flaws in your plan.
Saeran told you himself that he spent nearly all his time in the Development Room. If you gave him a piece to learn, it would be akin to you adding onto his workload. In other words, a bad birthday present.
You frowned once you'd reached your room, staring at the five sheets of paper in your hand before throwing them up in the air, watching as they floated to the ground. Useless! You thought, feeling foolish. For nearly two weeks you'd spent every free moment in the music library searching for this piece, and it was all for naught! Even the name was indicative of your predicament. Endless Struggle, you thought, realizing that finding a birthday present for Saeran really would be a struggle. 
Though you still hoped it wouldn't be an endless one.
You flopped onto your bed, allowing yourself to fall asleep without even bothering to take your shoes off. Sleep came quickly, after over a week of depriving yourself of rest to search for the piece.
In your dream, though, you were pulled into the past. Into a time forgotten, back before you'd been in the Mint Eye.
It was the first dream you'd had in a long time.
It was a short dream, the kind of dream that's more of a flashing memory than a true scene, but the recollection stirred something in the depths of your soul. I took music lessons, you realized, remembering the pain and childhood frustration you'd endured at your parents' request. I learned music theory. I studied composers. Somehow, amidst all the Elixirs and responsibilities of serving the Savior, that piece of your past had been lost to you, existing only in the very depths of your mind.
I learned music, you realized.
And when you awoke, immediately gazing at the five pieces of sheet music that were still lying haphazardly on the floor, you realized that all the knowledge you'd absorbed as a child was still with you.
You had never studied piano specifically, but surely you could learn, right? You checked your calendar, taking a quick glimpse at the number of days between then and Saeran's birthday. A month and a half, you noted, glancing back at the pages.
It would be a struggle, that much was certain.
But if it was for Saeran's sake, it would be worth it.
It's Tuesday, you noted, trying to remember what Saeran's schedule normally looked like. He shouldn't be expecting you for any reason, so he wouldn't notice if you were gone, right? You recalled Saeran's words: "If you're so interested in piano, you can play here when you want. Alone. When I'm not here."
He'd said those words to get you to shut up, no doubt, but he never revoked his words.
And it seemed that you were going to take him up on that offer.
You cautiously made your way to Saeran's room, only having to turn back and change paths twice before you finally found yourself inside his private quarters. It felt indecent, being in there without his explicit knowledge, but you were doing it for a good cause.
I'll learn this whole piece and play it for his birthday, you decided. That way he gets to hear the ending and I don't add to his workload and maybe, just maybe, I'll get to see another one of his smiles.
But it was easier said than done.
It took a good hour for you to get the first line down, and that was at half the tempo that the piece was supposed to be. And, if you remembered the piece correctly, this was the easy part.
But by lunchtime, you'd found your bearings, and the first phrase sounded...almost decent. You clapped your hands together as soon as you finished a playthrough of the two lines you'd just learned, incredibly proud of your achievement.
It was slow, but it was steady.
You didn't leave the piano bench until it was time for your disciple duties, but after a week of skipping meals and putting all your free time to practice, you'd mastered the first page. In truth, the rate that you were learning was abysmal. You spent at least five hours in Saeran's room every day, just repeating the same part over and over again until your fingers obeyed your brain—which meant that it took you roughly thirty hours to get down one page.
And there are four more to go.
But depressing as the speed of your progress was, you knew that you couldn't expect anything better, with your lack of a background in piano. On the bright side, you were able to master the second page with ease, but the third page...well the third and fourth pages were what made the song feel like an endless struggle.
By the time you'd learned the full piece, you'd probably pulled out hundreds of strands of hair just over the fourth page alone—but when you were able to play the full melody, from start to finish, without messing up, it suddenly seemed worth it.
You smiled, gazing down at the fingers that had brought the piano to life, overjoyed. You'd finally mastered the full piece, and you still had a week until Saeran's birthday. And it sounds just as beautiful as when Saeran played it, you noted with pride, before playing the piece from start to finish once more.
It felt surreal, as you played. It was as if you were high on the music itself, unable to feel or hear anything but the notes as you carried the melody to completion, completely lost in the world of music, so detached from your physical surroundings that you never heard the click of the door as someone entered.
You finished playing the final perdendosi notes to the piece, allowing the sustain pedal to let the notes linger in the air before you released, concluding not just the piece but your practice.
"So that's how the piece ends." You heard a familiar voice murmur, and you turned around sharply. "I'd been wondering why I was seeing less and less of you...but this may have been worth it."
There, right next to the closed door, stood Saeran, leaning back against the wall with a soft smile on his face. The very smile you'd been aching to see.
"No!" You exclaimed, suddenly upset.
Saeran raised an eyebrow at you. "What's wrong?"
"You..." You bit your lip. "You weren't supposed to hear it until your birthday..."
Saeran laughed, walking over to you where you still sat on the piano bench, sitting down next to you. He had a twinkle in his eye, and you could tell that hearing the piece played to completion had brightened up his day. "This will be my early birthday present, then."
"But now I have to come up with something new!"
"Shhh, princess," Saeran murmured into your hair, giving you a hug as he used the affectionate nickname you hadn't heard in so long. "Don't worry about that. This...this was perfect. I never imagined that you'd do something like this."
You turned to Saeran, your eyes still wide at the mention of the nickname 'princess.' The last time you'd heard it had been from Ray, back when he loved you. Your heart began to beat faster at the very thought, but you were quick to control your emotions.
"I just wanted you to be happy," You murmured, returning the hug.
The boy looked down at you, studying you quizzically. "(Y/N)..." He murmured, before turning his head away from you with a huff. You didn't notice it, but if you'd looked closer you would have seen a faint blush on Saeran's cheeks.
"Youalreadymakemehappy." His words came out in a jumble, more of a mutter than anything else, and though you strained to hear what he was saying, you couldn't process anything more than a few words.
"What?" You inquired, trying to get the boy to repeat himself. "Say it louder. And slower."
Saeran exhaled sharply, running a hand through his already disheveled hair, making it even messier and only contributing to his ruggedly handsome look. "Don't make me say it again!"
"Say what?"
"Agh! (Y/N)!" He said your name in a whine, and at that point, you began to notice how red his ears were and how a rosy pink had bloomed on his cheeks. "I said," He turned his face to you, eyes turning serious. "You...you already make me happy."
You smiled up at the boy, immediately bouncing the compliment back at him, to which he groaned.
"Not like that...I mean..." Saeran looked at you for a second, before sighing, and all the frustration from before left him, leaving only a nervous expression. He brought his hands up from your waist to your face, where he cupped your cheeks. "You make me really happy," He murmured softly before kissing your lips.
The kiss was surprisingly slow, more delicate than you'd expect from Saeran, who was usually so rough and callous in his ways. But you savored it, loving this side of him as well. It felt like a long time before either of you pulled away, the tension in the air suddenly replaced with a strange sense of calm.
You looked up at Saeran, unable to hide the smile from your face. "I think I just had an idea of what I do for your actual birthday," You teased, winking playfully up at the boy.
His face erupted in flames, and he immediately shifted back, unable to meet your eyes as he glanced instead at the sheet music. "Endless Struggle...so that was the name of the piece. How fitting."
"Yeah," You responded, showing him the fourth page. "The number of times I felt like giving up here really was made me feel like it really was an endless struggle. It's a pretty fitting name, if you think about it.
"No, I mean..." Saeran put the sheet music down, turning back to you. "Not being able to do this was the struggle," He leaned forward and trapped you in a chaste kiss, letting his lips linger before pulling back. "But I'm glad it wasn't endless."
You wrapped your hand around his, lacing your smaller fingers in his as you pulled him up to a standing position. "I am, too." As usual, you pulled him forward, leading the way as he followed unquestioningly, never caring where you were taking him as long as the two of you were together.
You led him all the way down to the dining hall, where you proudly took him with you to get dinner, never letting his hand leave yours. He gave your palm a tight squeeze whenever believers walked by, and as soon as they saw your intertwined fingers they knew: At long last, you two were together.
And nothing would be able to separate you two.
MASTERLIST
Word count: 4.2k
Notes: oml I'm learning Endless Struggle right now and the fourth page looks like a special circle of hell crafted just for me aka I should have been practicing but instead I wrote this <3
Comment & Like
I do not own the rights to Mystic Messenger or any of the characters within it.
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fleckcmscott · 4 years
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Bittersweet
Summary: After a little prompting, Arthur tells Y/N about his first kiss.
Warnings: Angst, Past self-harm (Don’t worry - there’s love, too!)
Words: 2,652
A/N: This was an anonymous request! Whoever you are, thank you for sending it to me. Writing this was a joy. A hearty thanks to Karen for beta-ing!
If you have any thoughts or questions, please comment, feel free to message me, or send me an ask. Requests for Arthur and WWH are open!
If you’ve sent me a request and I haven’t responded, it’s because I am working on it and will answer once it’s posted!
Edit: I apologize for forgetting to thank @sweet-nothings04​ for the title! Love you, girl!
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As Arthur felt the first periods of genuine satisfaction within his own skin, he discovered which activities he enjoyed the most. Performing for children, seeing their small faces beam in reaction to his magic tricks. When he was doing a comedy set somewhere and his laughter didn't occur. Working on material or listening to music. And every second with Y/N at his side.
Weaving himself completely with another person hadn't been something he'd believed possible. But during the past eleven months, his assumptions had changed. Y/N knew about the difficulty he often had interpreting people, about his illnesses, about each time he'd been remanded to Arkham. Instead of recoiling as he'd feared, she reminded him to take his medication on the rare occasion he would forget. The calendar that hung by the kitchen entrance had both his appointments or gigs and her court dates written in his scrawl. She delved into his interests by watching old comedies he rented or shows he picked out. He'd explored hers by paying extra attention to Action News and asking about the cases she was working on. And they'd gotten in the habit of watching Gotham Tonight before heading to bed. It was the repetitive mundanities of normal life, the routines and rhythms they'd fallen into, that he found most intimate.
Yet, she still had the ability to flummox him.
They were walking in Sheldon Park after dropping off their groceries and his three prescription refills at the apartment. It was a lovely evening, the temperatures balmy even though dusk was approaching. The place was more crowded than expected for a Tuesday. A group of kids were riding their bikes through the winding paths. On a nearby bench, an older man smoked a cigar while the woman he was with chattered about the day. And there were quite a few teenage couples, strolling with arms entwined or their lips locked.
Y/N must have noticed them, too, because she nudged him when they passed a pair making out on a knoll near the duck pond. "If we'd met back then, would we have been doing the same thing? All over each other without caring who saw?"
A light laugh caught in his throat. He gave her side-eye, taking a drag off his cigarette. "You already don't care who hears."
She was chuckling when she asked her follow-up, like it was the most normal question in the world. "When was your first kiss?" He halted, mouth agape as she continued on. The answer made him feel self-conscious before even giving it. It had been embarrassingly late, considering what he remembered hearing around school as a teenager.
Y/N put a quarter in the duck pellet machine and turned the crank. "I was fifteen. My ex-husband. We were at a drive-in, watching some terrible movie - Attack of the Grasshoppers or Ants or whatever." Arthur stepped towards her and put out his smoke in the nearby ashtray as she held out her hand. "I knew he liked me, but I was surprised." After splitting the feed with him, carefully pouring it into his upturned palm, she sat on the grass, legs crossed in front of her at the ankles, and tossed some in the water. "He leaned over and kissed me as hard as he could. I pushed him away, then pulled him back again."
The birds swam hurriedly in their direction, a couple of the braver ones daring to come ashore. Arthur crouched down next to her and threw some of the pellets himself. But he stayed quiet. A few minutes later, she leaned towards him. "You don't have to tell me. I know I'm your first serious relationship." Shrugging, she continued. "I just thought there might have been a high school sweetheart. Then we could share embarrassing tales."
He shook his head, throwing the rest of the food and sitting next to her, one knee up with his arm rested on it. "No," he said. "You're my only sweetheart." Normally she wasn't fond of pet names, but she let out a soft sound and scooted closer. Her arm looped through his, a kiss planted on his temple. As his lips pressed together, he wondered what she expected. She'd been surprised by his inexperience when they'd started sleeping together, seemingly unable to comprehend how he'd been single. If she'd been anyone else, he would have assumed she just wanted to make fun of him. But she'd been open about her history, and hadn't laughed at him once so far. "I was twenty-two."
"What were you like back then? Just as beautiful, I'm sure."
A short giggle escaped him, his forehead rested on the heel of his hand. While he'd never been outgoing, never been half as bold as Y/N, he hadn't yet shrunken in on himself. Though he'd had his condition, his mental illnesses had only partially presented themselves. He hadn't already been committed. Life had had its challenges, having taken care of his mother seven years by then. But he'd still been naive enough to hope it could be different. That Penny might get better. That he could meet his special person.
That was too much for this conversation. She'd asked a lighthearted question and deserved a lighthearted answer. So he gave one that encompassed it all. "Younger." It had been awhile since he'd reflected on the circumstances surrounding his first kiss. His brows drew together as he tried to remember all the details. "Her name was Helen. We were coworkers in Gotham Park. At a summer carnival."
The bit of exaggeration was unintentional. He'd been hired to work as a clown. It had been new for him, but given his natural aptitude for dancing and interacting with kids, it'd come easier than expected. The boss had told him to roam the entire grounds. And he'd tried to. But it had become impossible after seeing her.
Arthur's eyelids fluttered at Y/N tracing the veins on the back of his hand. "What did she do to win your heart?"
Not a lot. They hadn't exchanged more than a couple of words, mostly pleasantries and the odd complaint about the weather. But she could have done anything, frankly. He'd been fantasizing about dating for years. What had originally been an innocent desire for attention and friendship had, as he'd grown-up, become a near constant craving for love and connection.
Helen had worked at one of the games, though he couldn't recall exactly which one. The radiance of her skin was nearly as bright as the smile she met customers with. She always wore cute, short sleeved sweater sets, ones that revealed a sliver of her mid-riff. She was kind. Whenever she talked with anyone, she'd laugh easily and be attentive. She seemed smart, too; he'd noticed the textbooks she took notes in. The moment he'd passed by her and she'd glanced up at him with her deep, brown eyes, he'd thought he'd sensed an affinity between them. It had sparked his imagination. "She was nice. And pretty. We didn't get to talk much."
"How was it?" Y/N asked playfully, her caresses flirty as they traveled to the inside of his wrist, a spot they'd learned made his breath catch.
The carnival had normally stayed open until nine. But high winds and heavy rain had forced it to close early. He'd been sprinting by Helen's booth, when she called out to him. The front closure was stuck, she'd explained. Could he help her with it? After a minute or two of trying to fix it, she'd invited him into the back. It had taken a couple seconds to decide to go for it - he'd hoped his hesitancy hadn't been too weird. Once the rope was untangled from the hook it'd been stuck on, he'd rolled down the tarp and secured it shut. Then he'd turned to her.
They'd been drenched. Probably half his clown-makeup had been washed off, leaving his pale skin exposed. Her sweater had clung to her, the silhouette of her hardened nipples visible through the cream fabric. He'd fought to keep his eyes averted. The pitter-patter of the pelting rain had surrounded them, slightly muffled by the tall trees above and the orange canvas of the tent. It had felt pleasantly hazy. She'd looked up at him and said, in the sweetest voice, "Thank you. I owe you one."
"Yeah," he'd replied lamely, when what he'd meant to say was, "I think I love you. You're beautiful. Let's go on a date." His heart had been pounding, open, plain to see, and he'd thought he'd understood her smile correctly. It was rare they were directed his way - surely it must have meant something. When she'd offered her hand for a shake, adrenaline had driven him to take it, step forward, and press his mouth to hers.
After all this time, only vague impressions remained. Her lips had been pliant, warm, and wet. How he'd imagined a ripe plum would feel if he could ever afford one. There'd been enthusiasm on his part. And he was sure he'd been trembling. He hadn't paid attention to her reactions, having been too caught up in his own nervousness and excitement. Finally, he'd been brave enough to kiss a girl. He'd been proud of himself for not laughing.
He'd attempted to snake an arm around her waist, pull her flush against his skinny frame to feel the realness of her, the softness of her breasts, the dip of her waist. But she'd backed off, pushing against his chest as their lips parted. He'd released her instantly but kept her hand. He'd tried to hold it loosely enough to hide his desperation as he felt his heart break.
She'd cleared her throat before starting in. "You're sweet, Arthur. But... This is going to be my senior year. I have to concentrate on school." White noise had filled his ears. "I think you're a little old for me. And I'm seeing someone. And..."
Halfway through her litany of explanations, he'd tuned out and slowly dropped her fingers. His palm automatically went to his abdomen, willing his diaphragm to not betray him. "I'm- I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-" He'd squeezed his eyes shut as he broke off, self-disgust filling him. "Why would you like me? I-"
The reassurances she'd given him hadn't mattered much back then. They'd actually made it worse. They'd meant that in lieu of hating him, she simply didn't want him. "I'm not mad." There'd been pity in her half-smile. "It was a nice kiss."
His anguish as he'd gotten ready for work the next morning was overwhelming and unwanted. But his brain wouldn't stop going to Helen. Seeing her again would crush him. The tightness in his chest, the tension in his arms were acute - he didn't know what to do. And anger was welling in him, at himself and what he'd never have. He'd attempted to find distraction in the radio, tobacco, the nearly scalding hot water during his shower. None of it worked. Instead, as he stood in the corner of the living room by his clothes, he banged his head, smashing it into the mirror hanging on the wall.
It was the cracking of the glass that got him to stop, got him to notice what he was doing. The compulsion he'd felt and given into to hurt himself was new. Frightening. And cemented his abnormality. He'd lifted his fingers to his forehead - there'd been no blood, at least. Then he'd squinted at the mirror and groaned, annoyed he'd have to replace it. Quickly, he took it down and threw it in the trash can, not wanting his mother to see what he'd done.
He didn't return to work that day. Or the day after that. He'd stayed at home, calling out sick and missing a week's pay.
Penny had noticed his lack of absence first. Then his failure to do anything besides smoke and get off the couch to use the bathroom. She'd asked if he was okay for the first time in months. And he'd confessed, rasping softly, "No, mom. I need someone." The humiliation he felt at yearning for such simplicities grew as he went through his list. "I want to take her to the movies. To light her cigarette. To hold her." He'd exhaled sharply and flinched. "I want her to laugh at my jokes."
"Oh, Happy," she'd said, patting his arm. In his fragile state, the nickname's familiarity had both calmed and hurt. "Just smile and put on a happy face. You can't feel bad, then." She'd turned back to the television, maternal instincts quickly forgotten. At least around her, he listened and tried to paste a grin on.
Eventually, he had dragged himself back to the carnival - the bills had to be paid somehow. He'd done his best to avoid Helen. She had spotted him once, though, and given a small, friendly wave from across the way. After briefly freezing, he'd chosen to nod back at her, giving her the acknowledgment he would have wanted had their positions been reversed.
He hadn't seen her again. But he'd clung to the memory of that kiss for ages. Reminisced when he'd ached for another life and wanted to believe it might be possible. And for less chaste longings. It had stopped being a placeholder years ago, when he'd realized he'd always live with Penny. Not alone, but lonely, until he was lucky enough to check out forever.
Until he and Y/N had stumbled into each other. Repeatedly. In this harsh city.
"Kissing you is nicer," Arthur said, slinging an arm around Y/N, meeting her gaze.
She giggled. "Oh?" Her tongue darted out to lick her bottom lip, only inches from his own. "And why's that?"
"You love me. And you want me." The touch of his fingertips went to her upper arm, guiding her to recline on the grass. "All the time," he scolded mockingly, rasp barely above a whisper. His lips tickled her, just under her ear, and he delighted in the way she squirmed and batted at his shoulder.
She locked her hands at the nape of his neck and smiled up at him, like he was the only man in the world. Eagerness sparked as her fingers slid under his sweater. "I do," she replied, low and throaty. "I won't pretend I don't." Cradling the back of her head, he bent and sealed their mouths together. She was demanding, as though she sought to capture a piece of him and hold it deep within her. He sighed as he brought his hand to the hem of her blouse, not hesitating before going in for another kiss.
Neither of them heard the hooves of the approaching horse. "Sir? Ma'am?" Arthur turned up towards the mounted police officer shining her flashlight in their faces. "Aren't you two a little old for this?"
Wide-eyed, Arthur's head snapped back to look at Y/N, nearly colliding with her as she held her hand in front of her eyes. Thank god she answered straightaway. "Sorry, officer." She sat up, pushing Arthur off her. The blush currently spreading across her cheeks made him snort. "It's such a beautiful night and, well..." she gestured in his direction. Christ, would she never find it inappropriate to brag about him? He turned away and hid behind his palm.
Y/N stood and brushed off her clothing. "We'll behave, madam. I promise." The cop shook her head and rode off. Y/N covered her mouth as she burst into laughter. "I guess this means we wouldn't have cared who saw." Arthur stood up beside her, pulling up his pants and fixing his hair. "Thanks for sharing that with me," she said.
As she reached to remove a leaf from his jacket, he stepped to her and cupped her face, melding their lips once more. "I'll share anything with you."
~~~~~
Tag list (Let me know if you want to be added!): @harmonioussolve​ @howdylilflower​ @sweet-nothings04​ @stephieraptorr​ @rommies​ @fallenstarsabyss​ @gruffle1​ @octopus-plasma​ @tsukiakarinobara​ @arthur-flecks-lovely-smile​ @another-day-in-chuckletown​
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laurenconraddaily · 4 years
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My Tips for Starting an Edible Garden
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This summer I’ve been growing a lot of new plants in my garden. It began with me trying to come up with activities for Liam in the beginning of quarantining.  We cleared out a spot on the side of our house that had been taken over by weeds and made a raised bed from some bricks we found.  It was scrappy and I had no idea if anything would actually grow.  And then it did. Before we knew it, we had the peas and broccoli that we had planted on our dinner plates. So we started searching for other spots in our yard to plant more vegetables and our garden has continued to expand ever since. And just like that, something I had done to occupy my 2-year-old became something I really enjoyed.
From roses to peas and green beans, I’ve really loved being able to grow my own produce and flowers, and build out a little garden for our family. Gardening has not only kept me busy and focused, but it’s been a good way to wind down after a long day. I’ve had so much fun with this project that I thought I’d share a few tips to help start your own edible garden. You can use these tips whether you have a yard, a balcony, or even a windowsill that gets a lot of light. With a little practice, research, and effort, you can have a kitchen garden of your own too, so keep reading to see how you can start one…
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Decide What to Plant
The first things you should consider when starting your own garden are what will grow in your region and what you actually eat. This will determine every aspect of your home gardening, like how much sun your plants will need, your soil type, how often you water your plants, and how much space you will need. Squash grew beautifully in my garden… and I hate it.  Luckily, Charlie liked it so he ate a lot of pureed squash. 
Create a Calendar
You can make your own calendar or buy one.  It’s the best way to remember when to plant, water, fertilize, and care for each plant.  You can also keep track of a plant’s progress or anything important you may notice.  That way, if something goes wrong, you can go back and check your notes.
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Find the Right Area
Most gardens require a lot of sun so find a space that gets a lot of sunshine most of the day. For me, this meant removing some existing landscaping and clearing up some space. However, if you don’t have a lot of space, try your best to find an area in your home that has the most light.
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Check the Soil
You can test the soil you have (they sell simple tests on Amazon like this one), or you can build raised beds and bring in fresh soil.
Plan Your Plot
You will need to map out where everything goes.  You may need to stake tomatoes or build trellises for peas.  Each plant will need something different, so do your research.
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Sow Your Seeds or Plant Your Plants
You can either buy plants from the gardening center or you can plant your own seeds at home. You can even do a little of both. Planting seeds obviously takes more time, but it can be more cost effective. I’m getting ready to plant 12 tomato plants that I grew from the seeds of a Roma tomato awhile back, and I am also growing potatoes that I planted myself {however, If we are being honest, I forgot about them and they sprouted leaves, so I popped them in the ground.}
Make It a Family Activity
Yesterday, Liam refused to eat the green beans on his dinner plate, but this morning, he ate over a dozen off the vine in our garden.  Watching things grow is exciting no matter what age you are, and if it encourages healthy eating then I am all for it.
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It’s OK if Things Go Wrong
Don’t get frustrated if things go wrong. There are countless factors when it comes to gardening and I have had a lot of things go wrong.  I overwatered my tomatoes and grew them much too close together, so the plants were overgrown, and the fruit was mushy. I made the green bean trellises much too short and now, it’s a bit of a mess. I am still not sure what I did wrong with my zucchini that made them all rot before ripening, but I am planting them again in a different spot.  The point is, not everything will grow properly so keeping notes and trying different things is key. Don’t give up!
There you have it. I hope these tips can help you create your very own kitchen garden.
XO Lauren
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theteflacademic · 6 years
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Let me tell you why Sundays are game-changers
Like weekly game-changers.  You get a new one every week.  WHAT?
Ok so I know that Sundays, esp. Sunday nights, have a reputation of being a bummer because the realization that it’s back to work/school tomorrow starts setting in.  I used to feel this way too and then I changed my perspective on Sundays, and made an easy routine that sets me up and gets me excited for the week ahead.   
Sundays are still Fundays, though.  I wake up when I want (aka when my cat wants) and then do breakfast or brunch with my partner.  Then we usually go do something (errands, museum exhibits, work in a cafe) and have lunch later.  By the time 4 or 5 pm rolls around, I’m already settling into my flat and getting ready for the week.  Why so early?
Because I see Sundays as a chance to get ahead.  Sunday night is a legit headstart if you make it that way, and so many people don’t.  Here’s what I do: 
I have a shower.  Sometimes I do morning showers but Monday are not those times for me, so I shower early at night on Sundays and let my hair air dry.  Since I don’t go to bed with my hair wet, I know I’m not going to have George Washington hair when I wake up in the morning.  
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After the shower, I check my nail situation and if I want to paint nails or anything, I do it then.  The same goes for just taking nail polish off that’s been on for too long and looks bad.  Nothing gets under my skin quite as quickly as looking down at work and seeing my badly chipped nail polish.  Makes ya girl feel like she’s 12 again.  
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Then, I do the following: 
Check the forecast for the week and decide (more or less) what I’m going to wear Monday to Friday. I also check my google calendar so I can take any important meetings into consideration for outfit planning.  I group the outfits as much as possible onto hangers so I know I’m just pulling one thing out of the closet in the morning.  
Check out my fridge situation.  I take my lunch to work every day and I also need meals for dinner that don’t take long to heat up because after work and/or class, I have to get back to studying.  I usually have a few meals that can be made out of leftovers, and then I’ll prep 2-3 containers with salad.  I’ll still have to prep some food at different points during the week but I’m not into hardcore meal prep, so this is a good balance for me.  I also put a half dozen eggs on to boil because I take those with me to the office, along with a piece of fruit, for a quick breakfast at my desk.  
Go through notes I’ve taken during my study sessions over the weekend and make a list of questions I need to ask, terms I need to search for, and any additional works I need to read based on citations I found in my previous reading.  This makes it really easy to define a starting place on Monday without feeling overwhelmed. 
Pack my bag for the next morning (I actually do this every night). I make sure I have literally everything in there-- necessary chargers, keys, bobby pins, tissues, metro card, notebooks, pencil case, etc.  It’s too easy to forget things in the morning, and some days I leave at 7am and come home at 10pm, so if I leave something important behind, that’s it :(
Have a glass of wine and think about the week ahead.  For real.  I imagine the things that will be challenging.  I imagine the things that will be fun.  I think about which days will be the most and least demanding.  I think about what I want to achieve during the upcoming week. It might not be for everyone, but I am a “expect the best, prepare for the worst” type of person, and this helps me feel calm about the week I’m headed into, even if I know it’s going to be a tough one. 
Do a once-over of my tiny flat.  I make sure there’s no dishes in the sink.  I put away any clean laundry that I have folded or hung up to dry.  I arrange my products in the bathroom to look decently organized.  I water my little plants. I scoop the cat box and then I take the trash out.  The whole process literally takes me less than 20 minutes, despite each of those being tasks that I hate doing.  BUT it makes Monday that much smoother and that tiny bit of cleaning usually tides me over until Wednesday before I have to do any of those things again.  
Finally, I take my contacts out, slap my glasses straight onto my face, and get in bed to read for pleasure.  It’s SO easy to neglect your own reading interests when you’re doing research.  This might be the only time of the week that I actually crack a book open for fun, but even so, it feels like a treat to get the week started with, and it helps put me in the zone to fall asleep quickly. 
So that’s it.  I feel like Sundays are the ONE day of the week where I’m actually on top of all of my shit.  The other days I’m just crashing into one thing and then the next as I make it through appointments, assignments, etc., but each day is slightly easier now that I’ve taken the time to develop a Sunday routine.  Some days I still have to cook.  One week night per week I still do laundry while I study.  And Thursday nights I tidy up so that when I come home on Friday it’s straight weekend mode.  BUT all of that is possible and relatively low-stress because of how I’ve organized my post-5pm Sundays.  
I hope this routine helps you find your own perfect Sunday night routine so you can stop dreading Monday morning and start prepping for the asskicking you’re about to hand it <3 
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aliveprofessor · 6 years
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The First Day
so this is for the first round of the buzzfeed creation challenge for @thebuzzfeedchallenge and my prompt was the “first day of work”. my partner is @thepossessionofshanemadej, and here it is! the thing i made over the course of like a sick day and a half
(also uhhhh big thanks to @faequill for the au and also for being basically my new parent)
Title: The First Day
Description: Ryan is taken on an... adventure on his first day of work.
TW: none! heavy basketball talk for a little bitch who has never seen a basketball game in his life, god bless him
WC: 2144
AO3 LINK HERE
Ryan pulled up to the gleaming mass of metal, finding a parking space somewhere close. He had his box of stuff with him: a notebook full of semi-fleshed out ideas, a flash drive, some trinkets, a calendar. He took a solemn breath and pushed open the doors, prepared for the worst.
Ryan had heard incredible stories about what went on inside Buzzfeed buildings and, truth be told, he was excited to be involved in a story that involved too many naked coworkers.
And then, he was greeted by an underwhelming “Fuck!” as someone dropped their coffee. The boiling drink splashed up Ryan’s jeans, stinging the skin there.
“I’m so, so sorry,” The man said, blond curls flopping over as he picked up a few of the biggest shards.
Ryan shook himself out of his daze, stooping down to help. “It’s okay.”
As soon as he was done, the man stood up and held out his hand. “I’m Zack.”
“Ryan,” Ryan said shaking Zack’s hand.
Zack glanced at the box Ryan had perched on the rim of a potted plant. “First day?”
Ryan nodded.
“I’m really sorry, man,” Zack grinned apologetically, “Wanna sit by me? I’ve got a spare seat and I promise I’ll try to not spill everything on you.”
“Only if you promise,” Ryan smiled back, feeling like a bit of a foolhardy character in a rom-com. Granted, Zack was an attractive human being, but Ryan wasn’t the kind of person to fall for every pretty face he saw.
Zack, still grinning, led Ryan to the promised empty desk. Ryan quickly spread his stuff out over the desk, as if maybe it’d be taken if he were too slow in unpacking.
“You’re a Lakers fan too?” Zack asked, grinning madly. Ryan gasped, excitedly turning to the other man. “Yeah!”
“Oh my God,” Zack looked at his clock, face falling. “Uhh… I wish I could stay and talk about this, but I have to work on this video. I’m supposed to shoot it today and I don’t even know who I’m gonna have in it!”
Then, as though he’d just realized who he was talking to, Zack’s face lit up again. “You could be in it - you’re an intern, right?”
Ryan nodded hesitantly.
“Don’t be shy - it’s the opportunity of a lifetime, c’mon,” Zack grabbed Ryan’s arm and yanked him along. Ryan tailed after the taller man, the linoleum floor rising up to meet their sneakers. In retrospect, Ryan had wanted an adventure.
Ryan found himself in a small faded green car, fabric seats worn and fast food trash littered around the floor.
“Sorry, my car is kind of a mess,” Zack apologized, brushing garbage off of the passenger seat. Ryan sat down, buckling up as Zack explained the video.
Zack started the car. “So my idea was that we could have a few guys meet some professional basketball players - y’know, watch ‘em play up close and then like hang out for a day. And, wouldn’t ya’ know, the NBA was totally cool with that!”
Ryan blinked.
“So, I wanted to direct, and there were three players on the Lakers who really wanted to do it. I’m stoked, Garrett’s stoked, Jen’s stoked -”
“Woah, so which Lakers player am I meeting?” Ryan asked.
Zack had Ryan pull his notes out of his bag and tell him which player he didn’t match someone up with. “No fucking way -”
“It’s Madej, isn’t it?” Zack interrupted Ryan’s exclamation.
Ryan’s voice came way too close to a squeal when he replied. “Yeah.”
And then, the insecurity set in. He was meeting Shane Madej, and he was wearing a dumb graphic tee and coffee-stained jeans.
“You’re gonna do great!” Zack reassured, turning to violently honk at the mountain of traffic. Ryan let out a shaky breath, groaning into his palms.
Soon enough, though, Ryan looked up at the Staples Center, the red letters glaring down at him through the bright morning sun.
“This is just gonna be a practice,” Zack said, “So this place is pretty much just us and the people who have to be there all the time.”
Ryan was awestruck as he entered the main floor, where the Lakers were practicing. The tech and film crew for the shoot were already there, setting up a few tripods and some lights. A shorter woman and an astonishingly tall man were sitting on the bench.
“Sorry we’re late,” Zack grinned, one of the cameras swiveling around to face him and Ryan, “This is Ryan, the poor intern I’ve dragged along for his first video.”
“Aw,” Jen grinned, “He’s cute.”
“Thanks,” Ryan’s face flushed, and he realized how dumb his glasses looked. He handed the papers Zack had had him carry back to their owner and took his seat on the bench by Jen and who he could only assume was Garrett.
Jen patted his shoulder. “You’ll do fine. Who’re you hanging with?”
“Madej,” Ryan murmured, and Jen’s eyes got huge.
“Dude,” She gaped, “He’s so cool. Lucky duck!”
“Oh, like you got stuck with Lonzo Ball,” Ryan rolled his eyes, watching the practice. Jen laughed next to him, and after a solid five seconds of pretending to be mad, Ryan broke too.
“I have never watched a Lakers game in my life,” Garrett interjected, “And yet, this is somehow the best day of my life.”
They spent the next three hours joking and - maybe this was just Ryan - watching the… athletic prowess of the basketball players. So, okay, maybe Michael Jordan in Space Jam was Ryan’s sexual awakening, but was that really Ryan’s fault?
The end of rehearsal came too fast and, yet, not fast enough. Everyone sort of pittered to a stop, grabbing towels and water bottles. Shane Madej even stopped in front of Ryan to introduce himself.
“Hi!” He grinned, “I’m Shane Madej. Who are you?”
Ryan, who had been expecting ‘are you the idiot they signed me up to go to Starbucks with’ stuttered out, “Y - yes?”
Shane started laughing, and Ryan desperately tried to correct himself. “Sorry - sorry, I mean - my name is Ryan Bergara! I’m sor -”
“Don’t sweat it,” Shane said through tears of laughter, “That’s the hardest I’ve laughed in ages. You ready? I take maybe half an hour to cool down and change out, and after that I think they want us to go to, like, lunch or whatever.”
Ryan nodded. “Oh, yeah. Sweet.”
Shane left, and Ryan buried his face in his hands. Jen patted him on the shoulder awkwardly.
“At least it’ll make a good video,” Ryan grumbled into his hands, voice muffled. Jen made a noise of affirmation, and soon, Ryan had devolved to playing a game on his phone. Shane appeared, looking alarmingly normal for someone who was on the Lakers - the Lakers! - wearing a hoodie and jeans.
“Ready?” Shane asked, a twinkle in his eye. Ryan felt something in his heart twist in a not-unpleasant way, and he nodded and grinned back.
Ryan suggested an Italian place - Cafe Palermo. Shane agreed, pulling it up on Google Maps and pulling out of the employee parking lot at the Staples Center.
They finally got to the Cafe, and it was a cute little place, with checkered tile and tables outside.
“Wanna sit out here?” Shane asked, sitting down at a circular table. After checking them in, Ryan joined him, looking at the menu. The waitress came out, a young woman with curly black hair and a polite smile.
“Hi, I’m Veronica, I’ll be your server. What can I get for you gentlemen?” She asked, holding up the notepad, “Anything to drink?”
Ryan got a Fanta and Shane just got water, and Veronica went back inside for a while.
“So…” Ryan began, absolutely buzzing with adrenaline.
Shane looked bemusedly at Ryan as Ryan asked so many basketball questions Shane almost didn’t know what to do with him. Shane replied as short as he could every time, hoping to speed through questions about his job.
And after a while, Ryan seemed to catch up on that. “Sorry, dude, if this is like, boring, or -”
“Hey, it’s okay!” Shane grinned, “It’s just… look, I get asked these questions every day. I know you want to hear it right from the horse’s mouth, but so does every reporter in existence. I’m kinda tired of talking about my day job, y’know?”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” Ryan nodded, silent for a moment. “Why don’t you ask me questions, then? We’re supposed to be hanging out, right? I’m not interviewing you.”
Shane was quiet and thoughtful as he asked his questions. “Where are you from?”
“SoCal,” Ryan replied, chin resting on his hand. They chatted for a while until Ryan brought up the one subject he’d hoped Shane didn’t disagree with him on.
“... Woah, woah, woah,” Shane interrupted, “You believe in ghosts?”
“You don’t?”
Shane peered at Ryan over his water, dumbfounded. “Yeah, I’m not an idiot -”
Before they continue, Veronica interrupted them. “Are you ready to order?”
And they got what they wanted, and they went right back to arguing. The heated debate lasted for another good hour and a half, with intermittent breaks for eating and glaring at each other without much fire behind their eyes. In fact, Ryan would say that Shane was growing on him
“Stop for coffee before I take you back to work?” Shane asked as Ryan sipped on the last refill of his Fanta. Ryan nodded, and Shane took him to Starbucks.
“Man, I can feel myself getting whiter,” Ryan joked as he walked into the store. They both got their usuals and piled back into Shane’s car.
“How do you stand this thing?” Ryan asked, “You’re, like, a giant.”
Shane joked back. “Watch it, Bergara. It’s not my fault you obviously didn’t eat your greens.”
“Oh, yeah, and I’m sure you grew up eating nothing but kale and green beans,” Ryan said, pouting mockingly and taking a sip of his latte.
Shane snorted. “Wouldn’t be the weirdest thing I’ve eaten.”
“And what would that be?”
“I dunno, Ry, there’s just so many good contenders,” Shane said, and in that moment Ryan truly knew what it was like when people talked about butterflies in their stomachs, electricity down their spines. And, of course, Shane had to follow it with the least sexy sentence imaginable. “Like, this one time, I just fucking took a bite out of a pumpkin.”
“And suddenly, everything about you makes sense,” Ryan exclaimed, “Your head is actually just a pumpkin!”
“Asshole,” Shane remarked, drumming his fingers on the dashboard as there was a lull in the conversation. It wasn’t awkward, Ryan realized, it was just like they were two pieces of a puzzle clicking into place and they didn’t need to talk all the time.
“I liked hanging out with you,” Ryan admitted as Shane pulled into the parking lot of the Buzzfeed office.
“You too, little guy,” Shane smiled, pulling Ryan in for a one-armed hug after he’d parked.
“You’re still a dick.”
“And you’re still an asshole.”
“We’ll have to do this again.”
“Yeah.”
And with that, Shane was pulling away, and Ryan felt panic shoot through his body.
Fuck, thought Ryan, in his coffee-stained jeans and shitty t-shirt and Nike tennis shoes, I don’t have his phone number!
Now melancholy, Ryan trudged back into the office, feeling deflated and exhausted after the eventfulness of his first day. It was only after lunch, everyone else slowly meandering back into the office. Ryan plopped down at his desk, Zack still not back to fill the space between him and the guy on Zack’s left.
“Justin,” He said curtly, introducing himself and letting Ryan do the same before going back to his project. Slowly, Ryan turned on the computer, throwing his empty latte into the trash can under his desk. He drummed his fingers on the desk, letting his reality catch up to him.
It wouldn’t be eventful all the time, and it wouldn’t be Meeting A Basketball Star You’ve Had A Crush On Since He Was In The NCAA big, but it would be good. Ryan thought it would be good, anyway.
Then, he realized that there was something smudged onto his hand. Sharpie, from his coffee. He figured he’d never looked at how the barista had written his name - Shane had gone and gotten both of their drinks. He looked at it, turning it over to see two different styles of handwriting.
One had his name on it - and the other had a phone number.
call me, since you seem to think ur hot shit ;)
And then, it was decided that as long as Ryan lived, there really wouldn’t be a day that lived up to that one. He’d peaked.
Of course, he’d say differently later. But, then again, he’d still have six and a half years to go until Shane proposed.
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randyk1m-blog · 5 years
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Whenever we buy a new rig we like to make it our own. With traveling in it full time it is our house on wheels so we want to make the RV feel like home. Normally we take months to do an RV remodel. But when we made this switch to a travel trailer we were ready for it to be all set ASAP. So 2 weeks later, lots of orders from Amazon and trips to IKEA we have remodeled our new rig into our home!
Below we share pictures of our RV makeover and also affiliate links to pretty much everything that we bought to remodel the rig. We did it all for under $2000. We weren’t really trying to save money or keep the budget under any certain amount and definitely had some just for fun purchases that made the total go up. . . but we are happy with the outcome! 
Luckily since it was a new rig and didn’t have any water damage or things like that to fix we could just jump in and have fun updating the RV interior. We did a lot of research online for remodel ideas and looked at a lot of RV renovations to decide what we wanted to do with ours. Here is a step by step guide on what we did for our remodeling projects. 
Before and After
We will kick it off with before and after pictures of the rig before breaking it down into detail for each section of the rig and what we did. 
Kitchen: Before and After
Living Room Before and After:
Bedroom Before and After
  RV Before and After
        Kitchen
Backsplash
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                  Video of Finished Travel Trailer Remodel
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    In our last rig we did a bohemian tile backsplash which I really liked. But this time around all the RV remodel pictures that were callin my name were a much more white and basic look. My husband is also a fan of this so we went with a white subway tile look.
We purchased the white stick on tiles from Amazon and got to work removing the old backsplash and adding these tiles on. The hardest part about doing this in an RV is that none of the lines in the trailer are actually straight . . . everything is off by just a little bit.
Yet when you are installing tiles you want everything to line up! Please don’t look that close at the picture – from afar they look great but upclose I can notice everything that is off . . .
I bought 2 packs and thought I would be good to go. Of course not. I ran out so had to order a 3rd. Note: Always order 1 more then you think.
The tiles went up fairly easily thought some of them are coming off a little bit now. Maybe since I put them on and took them off to rearrange them too many times . . . but I just keep repushing/sticking them on the wall and it is all good.
Click the image to buy on Amazon:
Sink Window
One of the things I really don’t like about RV’s is those window valance things. It takes a away from the view out the window and they are just so big and bulky. Those had to go ASAP. Plus the shades that come with the RV always break so it just makes sense.
We took the valance around the window down and then went to IKEA to buy these low profile shades. My sister uses them in her rig and they have been happy with them so figured we would give it a go. So far so good!
Area Behind Sink
Shelf behind the sink
We usually move at least once a week. So everything in our rig needs to be functional and able to easily be locked down when we move. I saw a picture with a shelf across the kitchen window and loved the way it looked and the idea of having plants in our space.
I found a shelf on Amazonthat was about the perfect size. I am not sure if the wood color really works but for now we are going with it.
I haven’t secured it down to the counter yet but may do that with some mounting tape in the future. For now I like the flexibility to move it around back there based on if I want to put a bottle of wine back there.
Click on the image to buy on Amazon now:
Succulent Plants
I knew if we did plants they needed to be easy to maintain. These succulent plants are perfect! I bought the planters on Amazon and love the bohemian feel to them. And then went to Home Depot and my daughter picked out which plants we should get.
I really like the way they look and they are holding up well.
Click on the image to buy on Amazon now:
Globe
We travel fulltime so the globe has a strong appeal to us. We use to have a big one in our old house but obviously now we don’t have room. This small globe was perfect!
Picture Frame
I haven’t been good over the years in including pictures in our decorations but wanted to change that this time around. This cute little frame was from IKEA and fits perfect up there. You can even see the picture on the other side through the window.
Essential Oil Diffuser
I love this diffuser and it fits perfectly on this spot. I really like how you can smell the oils right when you walk in the door. Plus it can be a nightlight at night for the kitchen area. 
Click the image to buy on Amazon now:
Light Up Sign
Total random purchase but every time I see these in Target I love them so I got one. Not sure it really works here but it is what it is for now :). Here is a similar one you could purchase on Amazon:
Travel Days
On travel days I take everything off of the shelf and put it in the sink and for now store the shelf underneath the dinette. It isn’t too much of a hassle so I am OK with the fact I have to move it every time we travel.
Area By Stove
Spice Rack
In other rig we had a huge spice rack and it was so nice to have. However we realized we only use a few of the spices. So this time we opted for a smaller spice rack. We also got some of these glass containersso we can transfer our salt and pepper into them and everything fits great.
Click the images to buy on Amazon now:
Basket
Behind the stove we wanted a basket where we could easily grab the things we use a lot, coffee, sugar, oatmeal. This basket fits perfectly and theses containers are the right size to fit within the basket.
Click the image to buy on Amazon now:
Flour
We also bought a flour container that isn’t really a flour container (all the real flour containers were to big for the spot) but fits in the spot next to the basket. It has made accessing all of these things for making pancakes and other things very easy!
Click the image to buy on Amazon now:
Berkey
We have had a Berkey since we got on the road and highly recommend them to everyone! Ours sits perfectly right on the edge of the sink where it is out of the way but accessible by us and the kids.
You will LOVE your Berkey!! Order one today!!
Coffee
We have been making coffee with one of these contraptionsfor years now. The coffee tastes so good and has the perfect amount of caffeine so we normally only have 1 cup a day.
Click on the image to buy on Amazon now:
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  Cabinet Shelves
RV cabinets are always so big so you need a cabinet shelf or 2 to make the space more functional. These ones always work out well and are pretty sturdy.
Click on the image to buy on Amazon now:
Fridge
I can’t tell you how excited I was when I found out our fridge was magnetic!! We haven’t had a magnetic fridge in any of our rigs. I wanted to update the boring black so I ordered this peel and stick picture collage from Walgreens and it turned out great! Plus the fridge is still magnetic so we can stick up the kids artwork or any important documents we want on the fridge.
I went with a 24X36 size and it wasn’t a perfect fit with the fridge so we did have to cut the sides off. Note: When adding pictures push them more towards the middle and make sure you won’t be cutting anyone’s head out of a picture when you put it on your fridge! Also get the black background to match your fridge. Then you can’t tell that the size isn’t quite right. 
Magnetic Calendar
For the top of the fridge we did a magnetic calendar so everyone can easily see what date it is. The markers are also magnetic so everything is right there. It has been great!
Click on the image to buy on Amazon now:
Then we surrounded the calendar with magnets we pick up when we visit National Parks and Cities on our travels!
Envelope Holder/Key Holder
It was so annoying when we first got in the rig and there was no where to put the keys! We actually took the envelope holder from our old rig and mounted it pretty much in the same place and it is a great place to hang our keys and to put the campground map and other important documents we want to easily have access too.
The exact one we ordered is no longer available. But this one looks very similar. Just click the image to order from Amazon now:
Door Area
There was a good amount of white space around the door so I wanted to figure out how to fill it :)! This is what we came up with.
Time Zone Clocks
I wasn’t sure what to put above the door and then my sister recommended doing timezone clocks after I said I didn’t want to do a clock since we move across time zones so often so it would be annoying to have to change it.
Enter the time zone clocks! I got 4 6 inch clocks and now we have the time showing for each timezone in the US. I labeled each of them with a city that the kids know in that timezone. I love the way it looks and they have had so much fun seeing the times in the other locations.
I hung them up with these Command hooks so that I can still take them down and change the batteries when I need to. 
I ended up purchasing mine from Target. But you could get something similar from Amazon (click the image to check it out on Amazon):
I also got the gold letters from Target and you could check it out there or order something similar on Amazon (click the image to check it out on Amazon). Just be sure to measure your space and make sure you get the right size letters:
Decorations
We were at Target looking for something else and came across these fun decorations! I love animal print and they were gold and had a pineapple one. I did not initially start out with gold as a prime color and with pineapples as part of the theme but it basically evolved into that and I love it! Animal print, Gold and Pineapples!
One of the fun things when you are doing a remodel is your head is focused on what you are doing so when you are out and about you come across random things and then figure out YES that is perfect! So always be on the lookout and know things will ebb and flow as you find stuff that will work. 
Living Room
We wanted to have a Bohemian feel in the living room but also a clean feel so we went with white walls. 
Paint
Craig painted the walls with this color using the Behr Marquee Paint: Swirling Water. It is amazing what a coat of paint can do to a space! 
Futon
Who buys a brand new rig and then takes the couch out . . . yup we did just that. Those RV couches just aren’t very comfortable or big – it was pretty bulky with the arm rests which took away space for sitting. And the bed was awkward.
Tape measure out and off to IKEA we went. Nothing we found lined up perfectly and ideally we wanted something with a chaise lounge setup at the end that would work as a bench at the table. But we ended up with a huge Futon that we are really liking.
You can still sit at the end of the futon and use it as a bench for the table. Then the bench we bought for the table (that doesn’t fit there) we are using as a coffee table. It is working out great!
Eventually we may take out the other booth and move the table over so we can have 2 benches and the table but for now we are good with it how it is. You can check out the futon by clicking here.
Blankets
In the living room area I really wanted to go with a Bohemian look. So what does that mean? Lots of pillows and blankets! We got this huge blanket to cover the whole couch. Adds a touch of style and keeps the couch clean.
Click the image to order on Amazon now:
Yellow Blanket
Then we got this yellow blanket because Bohemain = lots of blankets 🙂
Click the image to order on Amazon now:
Pillows
Then we got all the pillows! On Amazon you can buy the pillow cases and then the pillows separately so we did that for a lot of them.
We got a large pillow and pillow case.
  Then 4 18X8 size pillows and pillow cases. 
  IKEA Pillow
I saw this Lion pillow and really wanted it at IKEA so we grabbed it up.
H&M Pillow
Did you know H&M sells home decor? I didn’t know that but now I do and that is where I got a lot of these pillow covers and ordered the pillows from Amazon.
We now have a lot of pillows!
Baskets
I got one of these large baskets baskets to add some style and because there is always something that can go into a basket! And a small basket for the kids to play with. 
  Charging Station
We ended a power strip below the table and a double basketto put the kids tables and phones when we want to charge them. I also got retractable power cords for their tablets and short cords for the phones so there weren’t cords everywhere! It is out of the way so works out well. I mounted the power strip to the wall using mounting tape. 
     Book Basket
We use a basket under the table to store all of the books so they are easy to get to. I have not idea where I got this – we have had it for a while. But possibly target?? Here is something else that would work. Just be sure to measure your space under the table to make sure it will fit past the table legs. 
Click the image to check it out on Amazon:
Dog Bed
We found this dog bed that works well for Indy and since it has a “back” it keeps her place pretty well.
Click the image to check it out on Amazon:
Dog Food Bowls
These dog food bowls are great since they bring the food higher up to her level and ther is food storage under where the bowls are. Perfect!
Click the image to check it out on Amazon:
Booth Blanket
To reupholster the whole booth would take a lot of money since I would have to hire someone. So instead of doing that I opted to get a bohemian style blanket and just wrap it around the booth cushions. It falls down but is doing the trick.
Click the image to check it out on Amazon:
Art Station
We must have an art station on the table to hold the kids paper, markers, scissors. And this table top one works out great. On travel days I just stick it under the table. I picked ours up at Target but this one would work out well too. 
Click the image to check it out on Amazon:
Storage Bins
We found storage bins at IKEA that fit perfectly under the futon which works out great for storing games and extra toys. They don’t fit with the lid but without they are perfect. Always remember to measure!
World Map
I loved having a huge world map up in our other rig. This one didn’t have as much space to put one but I found the perfect size for the slideout wall! You just peel off the countries or continents and stick them up on the wall. I am sure it somewhat off of scale but it is giving the kids a good enough idea of what the world looks like.
Click the image to check it out on Amazon:
Adventure Awaits
I love this Adventure Awaits quote stickerand the idea that the arrow is pointing out the door – since yes Adventure does await!
Make sure to measure your space then click the image to check it out on Amazon:
Pictures
I had a couple of our favorite pictures blown up and put into frames so we could stick them on the wall. I recommend looking for really cheap and light frames so you can easily put them on the wall with mounting tape. 
Life Is For Adventures
This white space under the window kept calling out to me so I had to find something to go there. This mountain stickerwas perfect! It was a bit of a hassle to get up there but I am glad I did it.
Click the image to check it out on Amazon:
Pineapple Planters With Air Plants
I was super excited to add more greenery into the RV and check out these adorable pineapple planters! They are perfect for these air plants!
Good Vibes Only
Me and my family need to hear this regularly so we put it front and center on the wall in gold! I ordered this Good Vibes Only print and then purchased a frame to put it in.
Click the images to check it out on Amazon:
Dr. Suess quote
This is by far one of my favorite Dr. Suess quotes so I know I wanted it in the rig. If there is one thing I can instill in my kids this is it!
It fit perfectly above the slideout! Click the image to check it out on Amazon:
Dream
I love these 3 words and love that Dream is in gold glitter! It rounded out the top of the slideout perfectly. I picked these up when they were on sale at Hobby Lobby.
Hanging Decorations
To continue with the bohemain theme I got a few random hanging decorations that we could add to the side of the slideout. Cost Plus World Market has a great selection to pick from!
Floor Pillow
We got this big floor pillow at Cost Plus World Market as another place to sit either at the end of the table (though it is a little low for that) or just to sit in front of the TV or next to the couch. It has been nice to have. Now that I found this one on AmazonI might have to replace ours! 
Click the image to check it out on Amazon:
Twinkle Lights
Gotta love the twinkly lights! We ordered a pack of these to add some fun lights throughout the rig.
Click the image to check it out on Amazon:
Hanging Flags
We had these in our old rig as well and I really like what they stand for so we ordered 2 sets so they could go across the whole slideout. We picked these up at Cost Plus World Market. 
Light up Decorations
Wanted to add a fun touch so went with an R for our last name and these light up decorations. And look at that the pineapple showed up again :).
Click on the image to check them out on Amazon:
Coffee Table/Bench
I am really happy we stumbled upon getting a “coffee table”. It was suppose to be a bench for the dinette but we ran out of room. So it transitioned to a coffee table that gets used all the time! We got this one at IKEA. 
Coat Hooks
We went some heavy duty command hooksthat so far have held up well to hang 1 coat per person.
Leash holder
How fun is this doggy butt leash holder. We picked this up at IKEA.
Rug
We already had pretty nice vinyl flooring so it was great we didn’t have to do anything major with the floor! To keep adding some color and flare we went with a bohemian runner rug from Amazon. It fits well in this spot and for the most part stays put. 
Click the image to check it out on Amazon:
TV Mount
The TV can not swivel out which just doesn’t make sense to me since you can’t really see it from the couch . . . luckily Craig found a company that makes an arm and swivel for the TV that fits right in the mount we have! Check them out here. 
Peel and Stick Wallpaper
I love this gold cheetah print wallpaper. I ended up having to order 2 additional rolls to cover all the places I wanted it! I also made myself not put anything up on these walls since I felt the wallpaper made it such a great accent piece.
Click the image to check it out on Amazon:
Bedroom
It has been a few rigs since Craig and I have had a bedroom so I was super excited to decorate this one! We actually started out with the bedroom being bohemian and then it quickly fell out into the whole rest of the rig. I don’t know why I tried to change it. I have always liked the bohemian look and feel.
Cheetah Print Gold Peel and Stick Wallpaper
This is the first place that the Cheetah Print wallpaperstarted. I have a thing for animal prints and this one was gold and available on Amazon – it was like it was meant to be!
Night Sky Peel and Stick Wallpaper
I wanted to go all out in the bedroom so we did a peel and stick wallpaper on the ceiling. This was so not an easy thing . . . don’t look closely the paper is all creased . . . we hit a point where it was like just put it up there whatever!! But I do like the way it looks!
Click the image to check it out on Amazon:
Baskets
I wanted to get matching baskets that had a variety of textures so I got 2 of these from Target and the other 3 from Amazonand they fit perfectly and we use them for our clothes.
Click the image to check them out and all the different colors the basket comes in:
Pineapple Hanger
Look pineapples again :). I found this at Cost Plus World Market and knew I wanted to add it to the room. It is perfect for putting my headbands and scarfs on.
Baskets next to the bed
I wanted a basket for both Craig and I to go next to the bed so we had a good place just to throw our stuff but it didn’t look like a crazy mess. The baskets work great for that! I picked these up at Target. Me sure to measure your space and bring the measurements with you to the store. 
Guitar Stand
We never really had the right place to put Craigs guitar so finding a guitar standand setting it up in the corner was perfect!
Click the image to check out on Amazon:
Windows
The valances came down again and up went the IKEA shades and then a curtain rod around it with curtains I had made from a Bohemian sheet. I don’t have a sewing machine with us so I stopped in at a dry cleaners and they were able to make them for me. This was the perfect window treatments for our bedroom! 
Floor Basket
I got a huge floor basket to put next to the bed for when we don’t want as many blankets on the bed. It is so nice to have a place to put the blankets instead of the floor. I picked this one up from Cost Plus World Market.
Comforter
I wanted a bohemian style comforter and this one had great reviews for being really bright and it is! It is actually a comforter cover that I just put around my old comforter. It also came with 2 pillow cases.
Click the image to check it out on Amazon:
Pillow cases
We ordered these 2 additional pillow casessince we have 4 pillows in our bed.
Click the image to check out on Amazon:
Throw Pillows
Bohemian = throw pillows. So we got more throw pillows for our bed :). We basically rotate between the ones on the couch and the ones on our bed. 
Christmas Lights
We went with the Christmas lights instead of the twinkle lights in here. Craig just likes them better. He bought these clips to hang them with. 
Back Pillows
We got these huge back pillows and they work great for when we want to sit up in bed and read, look at our phone or watch TV. We picked these up at Target a year or so ago. 
TV
There was already a mount for a TV and we ordered another one of the arm swivel things so we can bring the TV out and sit comfortably and watch it in bed at night when the kids are sleeping.
Paint
We painted the walls this fun blue color: Thai Teal – Behr Marquee paint from Home Depot.
It was super easy to paint the walls so I am glad we did it!
Bunkbeds
For the bunkbed area we wanted the kids to do what they wanted in there so they bought some posters they liked at Walmart, a white board and a peg board and so far have just decorated their areas that way.
Stuva
The 3 younger ones also have a Stuva at the head of their bed where they can put all of their toys. It fits perfectly and did in our other rig too so thinking maybe that is a thing??
They have some baskets in their stuva and know that all of the inside toys they have needs to fit into the Stuva and it works out great.
Fans
We also got these battery or plug in fans. Perfect for when we are boondocking and can’t plug them in. We have been really happy with these fans. Don’t forget to get batteries!
Click the image to check out on Amazon:
Curtains
We added this bohemian fabric to their curtains to change it from the boring brown color they come in. I also brought these to the cleaners and paid them to sew the fabric on. 
Print for my daughter’s wall
I got this print for my daughters wall. Because this quote is awesome!
Check it out on Amazon here:
Bathroom sink area
We wanted to make this area as clean as we could. Yet have a few things really easy to get to that everyone uses every day.
Basket
We have a basket on the counter that keeps all of the things we want easily accessible. Brushes, hair gel, lotion, etc.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01J7ZAHM4/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o07_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Nightlight
It is the perfect spot for a nightlight by the kids bed. I found this cute mason jarone.
Click the image to check it out on Amazon:
Mason Jar Soap Dispenser
To match the nightlight I had to get the mason jar soap dispenser :).
Click the image to check it out on Amazon:
Be You, Be Bold, Be Brave
I wanted to put a good saying right behind the sink that was at their level. They can’t miss it. It says BE YOU and the you is gold!
The other 2 sayings go on the bathroom wall above the towel.
Click the image to check out on Amazon:
Sayings
I couldn’t decide what saying I wanted in the Living Room so got both of these, bought frames and used mounting tape to add them to the bathroom wall.
Click the image to check them out on Amazon:
Paint
We painted this area the same as the bedroom walls to keep bringing everything together: Thai Teal Behr Marquee paint from Home Depot. 
Mirror
We always buy the cheap long mirrors from Walmart. They are super light and can be stuck on the bathroom door with mounting tape and usually stay put when we are traveling.
Over the Door Hangers
We us an over the door hanger for all the hats. It keeps them organized and out of the way. We picked ours up at Walmart I believe. 
Bathroom
National Parks Map
We hang this National Parks Map right in front of the toilet so the kids have something to look at when they are going. It works since they tell me about the National Parks and where they are all the time! I did have to cut the poster for it to fit. 
Click the image to check it out on Amazon:
Digestive System Poster
We also have this digestive system poster that goes on the bathroom door so they can learn all about what is going on when they are goin.
Click the image to check it out on Amazon:
Letter Board
Craig is in charge of putting fun sayings up on the letter board for when the boys are peeing. Ha! Always finding fun ways to make our “home” a cool place.
Click the image to check it out on Amazon:
Shower curtain
We use the bathtub for storage so the shower curtain is a perfect way to add some color and close in that chaos!
Click the image to check out on Amazon:
Shower curtain rod
We took out the shower curtain they had and replaced it with a shower curtain tension rod we picked up at Target.
Laundry basket
I love that this big laundry basket fits right in the bathtub and it would be easy enough to move out if someone wants to use the shower (we usually use the campground showers). We picked this up at Target. 
Vacuum
Our friends from yTravelBlog have this vaccuumin their rig and it works really well! It does have to be charged so we are getting better at remembering to charge it!
Click the image to check it out on Amazon:
Other things that go in here are the broom, shower bag and laundry soap.
Shower Hooks
These hooks are great for hanging a wet bathingsuit and a place to put our shower towels to dry.
Paint
We went with Power Gray in the bathroom and figured the shower curtain brought a lot of color!
So there you have it! 2 weeks later and a whole lot of work we are done with the inside and ready to roll and we have a great RV! You could easily do these remodel ideas in a trailer, 5th wheel, motorhome, class C, really any of the rigs out there!
We will do a future post on the solar setup and outside gear.
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The post 2 Week Complete RV Remodel For Under $2000 [Video Included] appeared first on Crazy Family Adventure.
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kpopyourcherryy · 7 years
Text
3 Years - Pt. 2 (F/A(?))
Genre: Fluff and Angst(???????)
Length: 2,000+ words 
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Previously:
You nodded, and a small thankful smile appeared on your face. You waved bye once more and the moment you exited, Yoongi closed the door behind you. A sigh of pure relief escaping him. “God that was weird..” He nervously laughed, rubbing the back of his head.
“Definitely, oh my gosh..” Nodding in a agreement. “Let’s just get home already babe.” You smiled up at him, closing your eyes as he bent down and kissed your forehead.
Yoongi giggled, still feeling the butterflies in his stomach he got everytime he looked at you, even after being with you for so long. He gripped your hand tighter, and led you to your car. “Let’s go babygirl.”
A little over a month had passed since then, things between Yoongi and you were better than ever. You two were constantly going on little random dates; he’d bring you flowers at least once a week, he’d always write cute little notes and leave them around the house for you to find. He was a romantic dork, and you adored it. 
It was about 9:30 p.m., you were to lazy to shower just yet so you plopped down onto your bed and waited for Yoongi to come over. You laid there wrapping yourself like a  ‘burrito’ - as Yoongi and Namjoon called it - in your silky, steel colored blanket while still wearing the sweats you’ve been in all day, you hair up in a messy half ponytail when your phone vibrated underneath you. 
Immediately, you rolled over thinking it was him texting you, but it wasn’t. Instead of being greeted with a lovely message from your boyfriend telling you he was near your place and how happy he was finally being able to see you after the two days you had spent apart; nope that wasn’t there at all, it was a notification from your period tracking app. It read; 
Hi y/n! It seems you are two weeks late! If this is wrong, please correct it by opening up the app and record the days you had your period. 
Your heart dropped and your eyes widened. “No, no...” You muttered to yourself, “This is wrong, no..” Your voice became shaky as you thought about all the times you and Yoongi had unprotected sex. “Fuck..” You mumbled as yoou hastily opened up the app, immediately going to the calendar to see exactly when your last cycle was. 
The moment you saw your last period was at the beginning of last month, panic set in. “Fuck! Fuck!” You shouted and put your hands over your face. You didn’t even noticed Yoongi come in the front door, as you sank onto the cold, hard wood floor of your bedroom.
“Babe?” Yoongi called out to you as he enter your apartment carrying a bag of take out. As he set the bag down on top of the marbled kitchen counter he could hear your muffled whimpers and shouting, immediately he couldn’t help but think of the worst case scenario. He practically ran towards your room, stopping abruptly once he reached the door way. His heart ached when he saw you in tears, holding your stomach while hyperventilating. 
“Bab- Baby.. What’s wrong?” Yoongi asked, completely clueless to why you could be so panicked. He slowly made his way over to you, and sank down onto the floor, gently embracing you as you continued to hyperventilate. He was never good at dealing with things like this, and you knew that, but he always seemed to know exactly what he was supposed to do. 
Yoongi pulled you onto his lap, holding you tightly all while tenderly running his fingers through the bird’s nest you called hair. “Shhh babygirl, it’s okay my love..” He softly cooed planting careful kisses on the top of your head, “It’s okay, my love. I’m here.. I’m right here..” 
After a little while you could feel yourself beginning to calm down. You breathing though still a tad quick and shallow, was better than it had been and the tightness you felt in your chest began to slowly disappear. You sniffled, “I- I’m sorry for this..” You sat up on his lap, looking down at him now. You wiped the remaining tears from your cheeks with the back of your hands. You scoffed and shook your head, “God I feel terrible..”
He looked up at you with the warmest, love-filled look on his face, that gorgeously angelic grin of his slowly appearing on his face as he couldn’t help but to admire your raw beauty. “Baby it’s okay..” He reassured you, moving his hands to gently rub your back. “Can you tell me what happened?” He asked, slightly tilting his head as he did. 
You took a deep breath, sighing as you thought about the fact that you were most likely pregnant. There could be no other explanation as to why you haven’t gotten your period yet. “I- I might be pregnant..” You stuttered faintly, placing you hand on top of your tummy. “I’m scared, Yoongi. What if I am?” You whimpered, your lower lip quivering as you looked down towards your stomach.
Yoongi’s breath hitched and he could feel this sudden pit in his stomach. He always wanted to become a father, but not yet of course. “Wh- Why do you think you’re pr- pregnant?” He struggled to ask, running one of his hands through his soft black hair. 
“Well..” You began, as you pointed over to your phone. “I got a notification from that period tracking app I use, and it said I had been two weeks late..” After deeply sighing for the trillionth time tonight, you continued, “I hadn’t even noticed, but when I checked when my last cycle was; it was at the beginning of last month, Yoongi. Babe, we’ve been having unprotected sex this entire time.” You whimpered as you felt the tears well up once again. 
He could see just how terrified you were, because he felt the exact same way. Absolutely terrified. “I- I know baby...” He said airily as he threw his head back onto the bed. “Come on baby girl.. Let’s go get wash up... Okay?” Yoongi began to stand and carefully helped you up as well. He lifted you up into his arms and began making his way over to the bathroom. 
You were both silent nearly the entire time; there were no dumb jokes, no laughter, just this lingering silence. After Yoongi washed himself, he grabbed your body wash, “Come here babygirl..” He softly said, motioning for you to come closer. You nodded, and did as he said of course, though you remained silent. 
“Listen, y/n...” He said as he began washing your body; starting with your arms, chest, and back first before making his way down. “I know- I know this is all so scary. Believe me, I’m scared too.. I’m scared I’ll be an awful father, I’m scared of all the things that could go wrong; all the worst case scenarios everyone fears.. I’m terrified.” Yoongi said shakily, finally admitting his own anxieties over this, but then he pulled you into his arms and held on to you so tightly. He buried his face into the crook of your neck, and despite already being wet because of the shower you could feel his tears gently falling on to your neck and shoulder. 
“But, y/n..” He sniffled, wiping any remaining tears away then lifted is head to look down at you. “I love you okay?  And if you are pregnant, I will love that.. our baby with all m heart.” Yoongi brought his hands up, and gently cupped your face. He looked deep into your eyes, as if he were completely exposing his emotions to you, “I will try my hardest to be the best father possible, and I know you’ll be a fantastic mom..” 
His heart felt words caused tears to well up once more, “I love you, Yoongi..” You said in this broken tone then planted a gentle kiss on his palm. You closed your eyes, sighing as you placed your hand over his and practically burying yourself in the palm of his hand. “I’ll go see the doctor tomorrow, okay? I could just be late because of stress.. or something..” Neither one of you believe your own weak, little explanation, but to lighten up the mood the two of you just accepted it. 
Yoongi took a deep breath as he slowly removed his hands from your face, “Turn around baby.. I gotta wash your hair now.” With a sweet smile you nodded and did as he said. As he began washing your hair, a soft giggle escaped his lips, “Ya know, babe, even though I’m absolutely terrified. If you are pregnant, I’m actually excited to start a family with you.”
You couldn’t help but to smile brightly, “Really?” You questioned him playfully, “Honestly, I think you’ll be a great dad. As it is you’re an amazing boyfriend, and you’re amazing to your friends. I can only imagine how much you’ll just spoil our baby.” You giggle softly, pulling away from him to wash your hair. 
He moved you into the water, and helped rinse the soap out of your hair. “Of course. I mean you’re the love of my life, why wouldn’t I be?” He added widely smiling as the adoring compliments you had just given him filled his mind. 
Once all the soap was out, Yoongi hastily turned you to face him. Your eyes locked with his, as that’s when you saw them; the few tears that had manage to escape, stream down his cheeks. He pulled you into his arms again, “Let’s try to be amazing parents to our baby, okay?” He sniffed, “Even if you’re not pregnant, and this is all just a scare. It’s made me realize how much I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” Quickly, he wiped away new forming tears, “I never want to part with you. I want to always be by your side, y/n.” 
“Oh, Yoongi..” You muttered, your voice slightly muffled as you buried your face in his chest. “I love you so, so much.” You cooed in adoration, planting your candy-sweet kisses on his chest, “Tomorrow, I’ll go buy a test, and then...” Your voice slightly weakened, the thought of just taking a test causing your anxiety to skyrocket,”.. Then we’ll know for sure whether I am or not.” 
As you reluctantly pulled away from him, he nodded. “Good idea princess.” He said calmly, “We shouldn’t get so worked up over it yet.” He pressed his lips together, faintly sighing, “But if you are... Just know that I won’t run away, okay babygirl?” He added, placing a heavenly little kiss on the tip of your nose. Yoongi gently placed his hand over your tummy then knelt down in front of you. He looked up at you, nothing but pure and innocent love in his eyes, “If there is a little person in your tummy..” He gently pressed his forehead against your stomach, “Just know that your mommy and daddy love you already... With all our hearts. Please continue to grow up nice and strong peanut.” 
You couldn’t help but to giggle as you covered your face with your hands, all the fear you had felt only moments before seemed to have completely vanished, “You have a nickname for the baby already?” You giggled, still blushing heavily as you peered down your at your boyfriend kissing your tummy just before he stood up again, “We still don’t know if I am or not yet.” 
Yoongi nodded, “Yeah I know, but..” He looked down at your tummy again as he stood in front of you, “I really hope you are..” 
Tears began to form again, as you nodded in agreement. Though you and Yoongi were still young, and his career was blowing up like crazy; you still wanted this, you wanted a family with him. “Me too..” You tenderly rubbed your tummy, as you blinked back the tears, “Im going to go get dress okay? Come straight to bed when your done. I just want to be in your arms..” 
He weakly smiled as he watched you get out of the shower, dry your hair, then wrap yourself in your favorite lilac towel, “Give me a kiss baby before you go baby..” He murmured, peeking his head out of the shower door. 
God he’s such a dork, you silently thought to yourself as you walked towards him. You leaned in, tenderly pressing your lips against his. He cupped the sides of your face, holding you there for a second longer just before pulling away. You looked up at him through your lashes, “Hurry up okay babe?” 
He licked his lips, his breathing staggering a tad to match yours, “Got it..” He replied, “Go get dressed before you catch a cold princess.” 
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ecotone99 · 4 years
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I Want A Drink [MF]
I want a fucking drink.
Awaken. It’s still dark in my room. I rub sleep from my tired eyes. I immediately know it’s the middle of the night (or morning) and like the houseguest from Hell that she is, addiction, is knocking at my door.
She never announces herself. Like a predator in the night, she creeps into my conscience. She is precise, she is quiet, she moves with stealth. Each step of hers is delicate, ensuring I don’t notice her presence until she’s standing at the foot of my bed. My eyes dart from my bed to my phone, it’s late. Why am I awake? Why do I want to drink? What is she doing here? I went to bed, covered in blankets and peace. My body warm & safe, ready to awake to another day. Tomorrow.
But here I am, in the dark. Thoughts racing. My heartbeat works earnestly to match its pace. They work as a team and they call themselves anxiety. They are undefeated. I become paralyzed in their presence.
I’ve grown though right? Here’s my therapy: casually showing up. Always late to the party, therapy. You want to be mad at its timing, but deep down you’re just glad that it arrived. Better late than never? My mind is racing again. Like the gas pedal in a vehicle, I can feel everything inside of me accelerating. Slow. Steady. But moving faster nonetheless. I breathe. I’ve grown. I know what this. I know who she is. It’s addiction. Back in all her overrated glory, romanticizing a life that I’ve long left behind.
What do you want? Why do you haunt me? I’m anxious. Racing thoughts. Elevated heartbeat. I feel myself biting my lips. Rubbing my thighs. My stomach is in knots. I need to move. I stand & lean confidently into the darkness, relying on familiarity to guide me instead of my eyes. I can’t decide if this is just literal, or both figurative and literal. Bittersweet irony. My uncertainty emboldens me.
I move swiftly. I fumble around and feel for the light in my kitchen. Upon finding it, I feel all my fear depart with the arrival of the light. I look around my kitchen. The dishes are done. My counters clean. It feels like home. It smells like yesterday’s dinner. My heart warms at the sight of hot wheels and dinosaurs scattered beneath my table. It feels safe. It feels familiar. Comfort settles into my skin. I can feel that it’s fleeting, but I take it and hold onto it for dear life. What the fuck is going on with me?
My eyes dart to the fridge. Maybe I need some water? A snack? My body is crying out for something. I know its alcohol, but I quickly silence that voice. Desperate to fill the growing void inside of me, I open the door- a fully stocked fridge stares back at me. Water. Fruit. Leftovers. Marinated meat. It looks like someone with a life owns this fridge. Maybe even someone who cares about themselves? Indecision wins, I close the door- empty-handed. Some demons never leave us entirely: one of mine is named indecision. As I close the door, I glance up and see the door of my fridge. It is littered with papers. Pictures. Notes. Artwork. It portrays a life: my life. I have artwork from my kid on it. I have self-affirmations. I have certificates. I have goals. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say this fridge belongs to someone who loves themselves. Someone who loves their life.
I pause. A long breath escapes my lungs. A reminder of who I am settles in my brain. I feel a warmth run through my veins. Is that you, pride? Is that you, love?
For one brief moment, I feel safe. I feel validated, maybe? I stand in my kitchen and ponder my next move. Seconds go by, just enough time for anxiety and self-debt to creep back into my heart. Sure, I see all this change. This growth. This healthy person I see on my fridge—she is me.
Or is she? Who am I, really? I feel doubt crawling up my throat. I quickly swallow, putting her back in my belly where she belongs. I’ll deal with you later.
I look around, the dishes, the kitchen, absorbing all that is the quiet comfort of my home. I built this. I fought for this. I did this. I feel unsettled. Lost in the familiarity of my tiny kitchen. I can’t help but feel like an imposter in this space. Unwelcome. What is happening?
Seduction shows up to the emotional orgy that is happening in my kitchen. My brain is trying to comfort me. She trades all that anxiety and overthinking for pleasure. A reoccurring theme in my 30 years. My body responds to the thought. The word. I feel warm. I feel… loose. My face is flushed. My joints aren’t as tight. My mouth salivates. I can feel a grin creep across my face.
That’s what she does: addiction. She shows up in your favorite dress. In the sweetest perfume. That one you loved so much You feel hesitant, you feel fear, you feel cautious… but she embraces you. You take a whiff of her perfume. You feel her touch. You hear her voice. Your vulnerabilities and fears cast themselves like stones to the sea. She is a traveler of your body, your mind and your soul. She knows all parts of you. Her passport is stained with stamps, and notes, and signature. Each crevice. Each once hidden valley. She has explored every layer of all that is who you are. She has kissed all your scars. She has undressed you. Once upon a time, you were tangled in her vines. For a long time, she was your comfort. I feel violently conflicted. My heart is racing. I feel the shame creeping in like fog. Thick. All enveloping. Make it hard to see what’s right in front of my face. Why am I struggling like this?
Suddenly hyper-aware of my surroundings, I am painfully aware of the sad fact I am an adult, in my kitchen, struggling to make the choice to go back to my warm bed or get in my car and drive to the nearest poorly-lit convenience store. Didn’t I move past this? This shouldn’t be so hard, right? My mind reaches desperately for validation. Grasping at kitchen appliances and still furniture like straws. I need to hear I am right. I need someone to acknowledge I have changed. I listen intently. Silence. I don’t believe in signs unless they are negative, so this outcome is just the push I needed to start co-signing my own bullshit.
My hands shake as I pull out the pen.
Is this my ego speaking? My addiction? My present self? Who am I right now?
I feel like a car on the highway. Middle of the night. The radio is too loud. The road before and behind me is endless. I am moving, fast. Direction and destination unknown. I can’t see the driver. Who is in control? Am I the driver or am I the passenger? That’s addiction. It’s being in a car that’s on the run, not sure who is driving, running as fast as you can into the unknown to escape your current situation.
I don’t miss that. I like driving. I’ve been driving my own car as of late, and I have grown to love the feeling of my hands on the wheel. The earth of the sun on my skin. Destination unknown? Sure, maybe. But I’m ok with that. I’m driving now. I am in control. But am I? I am immediately aware once again, that I’m a grown adult, almost a year into my sobriety, pacing my kitchen like a forgotten circus animal. Terror in my eyes. A hunger growing in my stomach. Not sure if I should run or attack. I don’t like this. This feeling. The loss of control. It used to excite me, now it terrifies me.
Maybe I’ve grown soft. Maybe all this peace, this growth, this healing… it’s a hoax. It was never real. I am who I am. Aren’t I? Except I have evolved into someone else. If I doubt her existence, all I have to do is look around the place I call home. Her fingerprints are everywhere. There are photos on the walls. There is a calendar. My home is clean. My fridge is stocked. There are tiny shoes and bouncy balls and yoga mats by my door. Insignificant upon first glance. However, for a person who spent a decade not loving themselves, these are symbols. Of my growth. Of my self-love. Of my realization that I am someone worth investing in.
Moving on.
Next stop: anxiety. I can feel my skin, it’s tight and it’s clammy. My heart is doing the dance of indecision, swiftly moving from black to white. Unable to feel settled in the grey. The irony? That’s where the peace lies. That’s where the answer is.
I feel my mind sprint: where are my keys? There she is. Addiction. Twirling her hair. Licking her lips. Welcoming me back into her arms. She smells like home. She looks like home. I hesitate. I feel my mind separate from my body. I feel fear. Am I in control? Who is driving? I grasp for my seatbelt with unsteady hands, oblivious to the fact my feet are planted firmly on cheap tile. I am looking for security- regardless of which seat I am in. I know she is bad news. I know she is a ghost here to rattler her chains, haunt me as she does so well. I know she is the past and I have been living in the present for quite some time. I made a home here, in healing. I forward my mail I have moved on. But not enough, I realize, to be immune to her pull. Her familiarity, fuck, it feels like home. I meet her eyes. Yes, I’ve grown. I’m in a good place. I’m sober. I can say no. But… don’t I deserve a yes? She hears my confliction. She nods her head. I step towards her. Doing all I can to silence my mind, as I knowingly take a step towards all that is her chaos. She is home. I haven’t visited in a while.
Before I can reach her… I hear a voice. My name. Who is calling for me? It’s coming from the abyss that is my hallway. It’s dark. I don’t know who it is? Should I go?
I look back to addiction. She’s waiting, licking her lips, begging me to embrace her. I can feel her pull just like gravity. It’s overwhelming and undeniable. But I am curious. I promise addiction, I’ll be back. Let’s talk about this. We can figure this shit out.
That’s addictions ugly sister: justifying. Co-signing my bullshit. Validating my toxicity. I know this. I am aware, but I proceed anyways with my promises, although they are halfhearted and full of doubt. I guide myself down my hallway in the dark. I keep hearing my name. Someone is calling for me.
I make my way hesitantly back to my bed. It’s recovery. She is enslaved in blankets. Her face is both concerned and full of love. She opens her arms. I open my mouth to apologize. Her presence is overwhelming. Her light is heavy. It’s blinding at first. Uncomfortable. But after some time, it’s warm. It begins to feel… like home. I collapse into her arms. Apology flows out of me like a river. I can’t stop. I am so sorry. I am so ashamed. She looks at me, smiles, wipes tears from my eyes. “It’s ok” she says. “I understand why you went to her. I am not angry. You are loved. You are not judged. You are safe here. I know it’s uncomfortable, but give me a chance.”
My ego dissipates. My body relaxes. I breathe. Her forgiveness, her honesty, her understanding: it makes me uncomfortable. I don’t deserve this. I open my mouth to object but she quiets me. She wraps her arms around me. “You made the right choice, right now” she says. “This is where you belong.” I close my eyes. I may not believe her. But I decide I will accept it.
My mind wanders to my long-lost love down the hall. Will she miss me, I wonder. I feel my heart start to pound… I didn’t get to say goodbye. I have to say goodbye. Am I ready to say goodbye?
I meet the eyes of recovery. With just a look, she assures me I am exactly where I belong.
How did I end up in this bed?
How I arrived here is irrelevant. I have arrived. I am safe. I am sober. I am ok. She can read my mind.
Maybe she is me?
Maybe that person down the hall is a stranger.
I have no definitive answers.
But I am sober.
And for now? That’s all I need.
I fall back to sleep, ready to do it all again tomorrow. I want a fucking drink. But I am ok without one.
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ledenews · 4 years
Text
Cooking Up Change
One thing this COVID-19 home confinement has done for me is to allow me the time to use my imagination again. Busy work is a thing now, and I often catch myself thinking about what it would be like if we used the lessons from these strange days to redesign our communities, and I’m not going to lie, it leaves me feeling hopeful. My lived experience has taught me that rock bottom is the best place to start rebuilding, and I am hoping that conversations can be started about what that would look like for our neighborhoods and communities. Imagine if we would design our neighborhoods in a way that would allow us to be self-sustaining, relying on one another, and not having to freak out during times such as this! What would that look like? I think the first step would be to put real effort into establishing communities again. The word “community” is thrown around all the time, and it usually evokes images of your neighborhood, but what if it came to be known as a feeling as well as a place? What would that look like? How can that be achieved? I don’t have the answers, but I have some thoughts. I designed a program at my job called “Cooking Up Change.” The concept came out of conversations with two female organizing friends. It started as a conversation about how we could bring women from marginalized groups together to discuss and discover their community’s needs in a low-pressure environment. The conversation started with beauty salon-type ideas and then, which doesn’t come as a surprise to me when I reflect on it, turned to food. It made perfect sense to focus these groups around food because food is tied to human connection, whether it’s through a church fellowship dinner, a holiday meal, or a special occasion or celebration. So why wouldn’t it make sense that food should be at the center of these groups?
A Pot of Chili
During the Cooking Up Change groups, the women began by preparing a meal to be eaten before they left that day, such as chili. Once that was on to cook, they started to prep meals to be taken home at the end of the day to use later that week or to freeze until they needed it, such as beef stew. The food was good, but the conversations that took place were where the magic happened. There’s something about sitting around the table and chopping vegetables that allowed us women to relax and share our needs and the needs of our community freely. The great part of sharing with women from your community is that those conversations can then spin off to come up with solutions to the issues and you already have a group of like-minded folks beside you. It was a great organizing tool. Skip ahead to these days of the COVID-19 commotion. If nothing else, these strange days have allowed me the chance to do a lot of thinking and imagining what my family’s new normal will be when this is all over. My family is going through some big changes right now, despite being in the middle of a national emergency, and I keep coming back to how I want to become as self-sustaining as I can when this is over. The next thought I have is that I want to be a part of a self-sustaining community, but what would that look like? I’m stuck on the fact that, a lot of times, “community” is seen as a neighborhood, but we can redesign the intention behind the word and make “community” more of a ... feeling ... a feeling that we would take care of each other all the time, and not just in times of emergency but in times of stability as well.  Imagine our communities being something that we poured ourselves and our resources into when times were good so we could be secure in the fact that they were there when times weren’t so good.
A Welcome Wagon?
The first thing I think we would have to change would be the relationships within our neighborhoods. I believe, and I might be wrong because I’m basing this on my lived experience, that the days of welcoming new families to the neighborhood with a freshly baked pie are over. I mean, I’ve lived in my house for over 20 years and have never had a neighbor ask me for a cup of sugar. But in order to trust our neighbors we have to get to know our neighbors, right? So there would have to be an intentional effort put into creative ways for the neighbors to come together because, again, we have to build something that we pour ourselves and our resources into, and our relationships would be key to that. When I think of the greatest needs during a national emergency, I think of food and shelter, so what would we need to build within our communities to make sure – to trust – that our needs would be met or at least lighten the load? Let’s think about food. One thing that we are all leaving the safety of our homes for right now is grocery shopping. So what if we could just head to our pantry or cupboard instead of the grocery store? What if we could make our own sauce from homegrown canned tomatoes? What if we had jars of fruit grown right up the street rather than imported from states days away? I know that we would have to leave for shopping trips regardless of home canned goods, but what if we didn’t have to leave as often or, more importantly to so many of us, spend as much money during these uncertain times? How can our communities address these needs? Well, what would it look like if the community was truly a part of community gardens? What if the community garden was designed in a way that would allow for everyone to benefit from it? What if we began to plan community events around these gardens, inviting everyone to participate from start to finish, regardless of their time, financial, and/or skill constraints?
Gardening
I know that it’s unrealistic to believe that everyone will participate all the time, but right now I would give anything for the chance to take my family outside and dig in the dirt, especially if it was for something that would benefit my family! I don’t have any experience with community gardening, but I have been told once that I would have to pay a set amount of dollars for using the water, which seemed fair, but the garden wasn’t within walking distance of my home and, because my family is always on the go, I knew it wasn’t a financial investment that I would have time to care for in order to reap the benefits, so I passed. But what if the offer was open for me and my family to show up whenever we could and, instead of having one small plot for only ourselves, our efforts would be go into the garden as a whole, spent caring for plants that the community paid for and wasn’t worried about Neighbor A paying the $30 they could afford to buy the plants and run the water and Neighbor B only being able to swing $10 from their budget, which was still more than Neighbor C could afford.
Life Changing?
Imagine community calendars filled with farmers’ markets filled with fresh vegetables that we all prepared the soil for, planted, sowed, and then harvested. Imagine the community coming together to harvest and can vegetables and fruits that would stock our pantries and help us to become more self-sustaining. And, this is what excites me the most, imagine the solutions that could be put into action to fix problems addressed while we were all in community with each other, forming and building trusting relationships with those nearest to us; the ones who we should be able to rely on the most. I see this as life changing. If communities were more invested in its people then its people would be more invested in the communities, and that would open a whole new world of opportunities for growth and improvement...and it would, undoubtedly, cook up change. Stay well. Wash your hands. And your vegetables.  Onward, Amy Jo (Note: SNAP recipients can purchase garden seeds and plants with their EBT cards. Reach out and let me know what it would take for you to start using a small portion of that benefit to grow and preserve your own food. I’m always talking to folks who are looking for a way to get SNAP recipients involved in addressing food insecurity. Imagine what a blessing it would be during these uncertain times to have a cabinet full of food that we-every single one of us- grew and preserved ourselves!) Read the full article
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gethealthy18-blog · 5 years
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How to Stay Motivated When Making Health Changes
New Post has been published on http://healingawerness.com/news/how-to-stay-motivated-when-making-health-changes/
How to Stay Motivated When Making Health Changes
Often the problem isn’t wanting to change, or even taking the first step. The hardest part is finding a way to stay motivated once our initial enthusiasm wears off or we encounter setbacks. This is one reason so many of us struggle with keeping New Year’s resolutions!
I’m no motivation guru and I’ve definitely had many times when I wanted to give up, change course, or just crawl back into bed. At the same time I am (a little) older and hopefully wiser and I’ve decided one thing must be true: progress itself — whether in weight loss or fitness or overall health — is the most important motivating factor.
So, how to stop waiting for the perfect time or the perfect plan and get going? Good question!
The One Way to Get & Stay Motivated
In my mind, there’s only one way to get started: Take action, even if it’s small. This is the best and only way to create more energy and motivation. Excitement grows and catches on when we see progress.
It bears repeating:
Action breeds motivation, not the other way around.
If you are looking to make some lifestyle changes to improve your health and want to get (and stay) motivated, you’ve chosen a worthy cause! No matter which habit you’ve chosen to take on, I’ve found these seven steps can help keep motivation strong:
1. Have a Clear Vision of Your Goal and Your “Why”
This seems very common sense but is a step many of us skip. This is no surprise especially in mom world where it’s so tough to get any time to think without interruption!
Do what it takes: hide in the bathroom, the closet, the shower, the car, or better yet schedule some time out and figure out the exact reason you are making changes to your life. Envision what you want to accomplish and let it play out in your mind.
Note I didn’t say, “how you want to look in the end.” Let’s take weight loss for example: aesthetic goals alone rarely are enough to keep someone motivated. Eventually, the cheesecake, or pasta, or soda or whatever your weakness is will look really good and you’ll decide that you hate dieting more than you hate being fat and give in.
Tip: Instead, figure out a health-related goal, which may include aesthetic aspects, and write it down. Focus on long-term health benefits and make a clear plan of how you will get there.
2. Set Action Steps Toward Your Goal
It almost never works to jump in to a new diet, fitness plan, and natural living lifestyle all at once. Figure out some smaller goals and put them on paper. Once you reach one goal, start on another.
Goals must be measurable and specific to be accomplished. Once you figure out the clear goal, you need a specific and measurable action plan to get there.
If you want to improve your diet for health reasons… start meal planning.
If you are trying to improve health and weight… measure yourself and take before pictures.
If you need to improve insulin sensitivity… monitor glucose.
The more specific and measurable your goal, the easier it will be to track your progress and stick to it. If you need to lower carbs or eat more veggies, start a health tracking journal or a habit tracking app. Tracking drastically increases chances of success when it comes to new habits.
Tip: No matter what your goal, consider meal planning. There are many amazing tools to make it easier (this one is my favorite). Meal planning will save time, money, and mental energy in the long run and help stick to the goal.
Free Resource: Use this Mini Wellness Challenge Printable to plan and record your action steps!
3. Create Checkpoints
This is an idea that Martin at LeanGains suggests and I think it is a great one. (He also recommends intermittent fasting, which is another great idea!)
Basically, instead of having weekly weigh-ins or daily tracking, try periodic “checkpoints” every few weeks or even months instead. This encourages a sense of internal competitiveness without getting focused on small details. It is also gives you a long enough time to see measurable results (rather than getting discouraged that you aren’t running triathlons or fitting into size 4 jeans after your first week of training).
For instance, if you are trying to lose weight and improve physique or strength, your checkpoint could be weighing yourself and testing your ability in a few basic exercises (pushups, sprints, etc.).
If working on improving insulin sensitivity, it could be your fasting blood glucose levels.
If working on allergies or eczema, it could be your frequency of symptoms for each one.
Tip: Set multiple checkpoints in increments of 8 weeks on your calendar or phone (otherwise, you’ll forget!). This is long enough for a new habit to actually sink in, not to mention stick. Compare each checkpoint to the last and try to beat it.
4. Keep Learning
To keep your motivation high and focused on a goal, it is often helpful to remember why you formed the goal in the first place. Taking in new information — be it health, nutrition, or fitness related — feeds the desire and keeps the flame burning!
My favorite motivating books are:
Books
Also (if it’s not too obnoxious) I should just mention that my book The Wellness Mama 5-Step Lifestyle Detox has all of my best suggestions and recipes for making small but meaningful changes toward a healthier life. If food is your focus, The Wellness Mama Cookbook has my best food recipes too.
But moving on!
Movies & Documentaries
Tip: Multitask and listen to an audiobook or podcast while showering, driving, or cleaning up. (Bonus: The family might hear and pick up some new health knowledge and motivation themselves!) Some of my favorites are:
Podcasts
5. Buddy Up for Accountability
If possible, have your spouse or a friend make these changes with you. Not only will you have the benefit of some company along the way, but this has been shown to improve long-term compliance to a plan.
There are plenty of apps that make accountability even easier. My favorite (because I’m oh so super competitive) is an app called Spar.
Tip: Make sure you and your partner are on the same page on what the goal is and how to get there so you don’t derail each other by debating the small details along the way!
6. Give Yourself Rewards
To help, consider giving yourself non-food related rewards when you accomplish either your overall goal or one of your action steps. Looking forward to a new pair of pants in a smaller size, an evening out with your spouse, or a relaxing day of some kind might help you focus on the long-term benefits of your goal rather than the short-term struggle.
Some other ideas for motivating (but healthy) rewards are:
Join a local botanical garden, museum, or park (for all the benefits of nature)
Invest in a skin-brushing set for dry brushing
Plan a day trip somewhere you wouldn’t normally consider going
Upgrade your home gym with some new equipment
Treat yourself to some pampering natural beauty products you normally wouldn’t splurge on
Go for the health gold – set a big goal and save up for your own sauna or a red light therapy device
Or, the real prize… a day off! (recruit your spouse, a family member, or a babysitter… whatever it takes!)
Tip: Make a list of some new ways to reward yourself and try one of them. Whether it’s taking a class to learn a new skill (I recommend scuba!) or finally splurging for that Instant Pot and learning the ropes (life-changer!), chances are once you push past your comfort zone, you’ll be glad.
7. Repeat Until a Habit
They say it takes 21 days to form a habit, and I’d say it takes less than that if you have a system and a routine in place. As with most aspects of life, healthy living is much easier if it is part of a normal and regular routine. Sometimes all it takes is a challenge to get you started.
This will also help remove the mindset of “dieting” which implies an end point once a goal is reached and encourage a mindset of a permanent and healthy lifestyle change. Sugar will not be healthy now or when you weigh your goal weight… neither will grains, or vegetable oils, or commercial deodorant… you get the idea.
Tip: Make goals visual to keep them in the forefront of your mind. Write up your why, your goals, your baby steps, and post it everywhere to increase your chances of staying motivated and sticking to a new habit.
Take Action Today With a Mini Wellness Challenge!
Before making up a grand master plan, try a mini challenge or experiment! Pick one of these areas, go to the top of this post, and plan out your 7 steps! I highly suggest writing out your plan and posting it some place visible. Download my free Mini-Challenge Plan printable here!
Where to start? Here’s a list of possible health areas to consider:
Eat Real Food – Start consuming a nutrient-dense diet if you aren’t already and avoid processed foods.
Drink and Use Clean Water – Avoid chemicals in drinking water with a quality water filter and neutralize chemicals in bath or shower water.
Breathe Clean Air –  Purify air just by shopping for a few house plants or getting outdoors more.
Get More Exercise – Not exercising? Start with just 10 minutes.
Reduce Stress – Set some goals to reduce stress through meditation/prayer, diet, exercise, or my favorite, journaling.
Avoid Toxins – Decide which home, cleaning, or beauty products you could trade for natural versions.
Sleep Better – If you’re not sure where to start, start here! Good sleep is the foundation and in many ways more important than diet or exercise!
Remember, there’s no wrong place to start… action in one area more often than not will lead to motivation in another!
Bottom Line: Baby Steps Make It Happen!
When the lists are long and the tasks are many it’s easy to lose motivation (especially when the toddler is having a meltdown at your feet), but inertia is the worst part. Take one step in the right direction (today) and put these tips to the test to stay motivated, focused, and hopefully a little healthier!
How do you stay motivated? Have you struggled with this in the past? Any resources I’m forgetting? Please add them in the comments below!
Source: https://wellnessmama.com/2966/how-to-stay-motivated/
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