#i am speed running therapy by getting fucking high

[maggotanatomy]

i love u weed i love u edibles i love to fly above my wounds from a distance so as to be able to better understand and care for myself 🫡 💨

[crazylittlejester]

DAILY BRAINROT

I got jump scared by a pedestrian on my way to get groceries because I was thinking about this, and I don't have a good excuse because I am also a pedestrian.

Adding a "half out of control ADHD" disclaimer on this one.

I have been seized by the brainrot, and it is holding me hostage until I finish writing out Legend and Wild meeting for the first time in the vigilante AU, and that's why the next chapter of poor Hyrule's fic hasn't been touched today.

Legend gets to be happy in this AU because I think he's earned it. He's been around for like... basically forever, so he gets to have all the friends he wants. I am aggressively improving his quality of life here. I went to the effort of finding him a sandwich recipe (and honestly might try it myself because it looks tasty).

Back to the point, which is that I was thinking about what powers everyone would have in this AU when I was going to get groceries. It's a very tough question, and the fact that my area of expertise in high school was Marvel is not helping because there are too many options to pick from. So I only managed to work out the abilities for two of the boys so far, which is half the reason why I'm making Wild and Legend play nice with each other today.

Long story short, I decided Wild should actually get a copy-and-paste ability AND I HAVE A GOOD REASON, OK. I love love love the idea that the Shrine of Resurrection's Sheikah Juice stuff is actually liquid information and since I can, I figured why not just replace his blood with it or something?? It's fanfiction I can do what I want. So now Wild has blue Shrine Juice blood and is sort of partly like a computer I guess, which means he has the ability to copy "files" and store them in his "system memory." Which... actually kind of explains the amnesia, I guess. Had to delete a few "files" (memories) to make space for the new "files" (abilities/powers). Obviously I've got to put a limit on him otherwise he'd be WAY TOO POWERFUL, so I'm thinking that each "file" either has a cool-down period of 1x every 24 hours or he has to pick 1 power to use for each 24-hour period. This explains how the Champions' gifts and the abilities from TotK work, and it makes me feel Very Smart.

Legend is actually pretty boring in comparison. I didn't really want to have to pick between his numerous items, so I gave him a very basic enhancement ability with an emphasis on speed and agility in the legs so he can run around on top of buildings and do parkour. His power isn't anything special, it's how he uses it that's actually interesting because he's had to make up for being Very Vanilla. It DOES let him keep up with most people, though, with few exceptions. And I like this because I think it kind of does reflect on how he's not really a special person by himself and that his being interesting comes from his experience and knowledge and inventory. He's the guy who's been everywhere, done everything, and knows everyone, and that's where a surprisingly large amount of his flavor comes from.

I have a rough idea for Sky, but I'm not completely sold on anything for him, yet (because of the whole deal with Demise and all). I'm extremely tempted to make him think he's a normal guy when he just uses his Terrifying Prophetic Abilities in his sleep. Like, he thinks he probably sleepwalks so he tells Twilight and Warriors when he moves in and the first week goes okay, but then for the second week he is walking in his sleep and doing Crazy Shit while spitting out Creepy Prophecies about stuff. It's concerning, and they're trying to figure out how to tell Sky to go to therapy because he is An Absolute Ray of Sunshine during the day. (Maybe he just has remlit powers?)

Legend gets to be happy in this AU because I think he's earned it <- OBSESSED WITH THIS.

COPY AND PASTE ABILITY. I LOVE IT.

REMLIT POWERS ALSKDKDKD

dude oh my GOD i fucking love all your au’s so much, the insane amount of detail you put in em???? I eat it up every goddamn time. thank you for bestowing upon me your brainrot every day 🙏

[skinnybinnietitties]

Part 2 to the rant

okayy so anyways eventually she makes me go in her room and strip to my undies and bra off and checks but she only sees cuts on my once safe zone and time skip blah blah blah she asking me a bunch of questions and stuff I end up saying too much about how I am essentially a people pleaser and I'm not satisfied with my life yada yada. And after that later in the day because that happened around 3-4 she tells me I have a therapy session booked for tmrw or the day after at 3 and I'm jst like 😦 how the fuck you already make and find one so fast😭 but yeah and I would say my my emotions were still in shock because I was acting like ain't shit happen and going to make cookie dough and cookie cake with my sister but the next day omg I was mad and rightfully so bc wat the fuck just happened to me (and she gave me back my phone that same night but I made sureto delete stuff so incase she did loon before she gave it back she wouldn't see anything) and I was just saying things like why did I go make those two last shitty cuts if I didn't make those this wouldn't have a happened so a few hours my nerves are still high asf and I'm pissed so I get a stick pen the kind you use for sewing or pinning something in place but not the safety one and scratcy my thighs in the bathroom because I couldn't get caught again and it didn't go deep but I just needed the pain (why does cat scratches and baby's hurt so much like) and it pretty much goes on the day with me in my room or forced to be around ppl when I wanted to choke my neck off and the therapist made it for the next day so the next day comes around and during that day I purge because I ate too much when I wasn't even supposed eat at all😒 and during that ig my mom is getting anxious or what ever because like every motherfucking 3-5 minutes she is knocking on the bathroom door talking about let me in and hurry up it don't take that long to poop😀 so I had to speed it up and wash the purging look off my face and when I come out the bathroom she brings me in her room and says let me see your legs and tell her I obviously haven't cut that would be so stupid right after you get caught but she doesn't listen and make me get in panties and bra (AGAINJDHSG) and she was like asking tm to show her my boobs to make sure it's not there and tryna look at my MOTHEBRFJSIS inner thighs like umm no please what the fuck your not looking there and when she doesn't find anything ofc I ask her straight up what is your problem because this is not it you tryna make me strip every fucking day and when she tells me how she's concerned about what I'm taking so long in the bathroom for and thought I was cutting I say I understand tm your concerns nd shit but I'm not about to be showing you all around the fuckin globe she don't get it and like omfg she ends up saying she will tone it down and when I tell her okay but your not checking my whole body she say "I'll hold you done if I have to" 😐 I don't even know what to say like ik she's my mother and shit but like I feel so violated honestly like why are you tryna see every where when I told you MULTIPLE TIMES that I only cut on my thighs in these two squares so why are you tryna see all in my inner thighs and on the side of my hips and shit like😥😀 but yeah after that I was not left alone till I almost cursed and was about to make a scene in front ofmy sister so she let's me go and later that day I have therapy and she asks me stuff and idk why but she asked me do I hear voices after we start talking about imaginary friends nd talking to my self😭😭 like no bestie I do not💀 but after that it's pretty much my mom done my back not being able to be alone or in the bathroom trying to take an actual shit for once or so my hair and how I keep running to the bathroom like no😭 and her constantly asking how I'm doing and keep touching me nd shot giving me hugs don't get me wrong I live hugs but I hate being pitied so it just feels so fucking annoying and so belittling and she keeps saying I'm going through something. So enough with that situation part 3 next ig....

[dungeonsndamnation]

Okay so my friend asked our group to join them in a mini campaign they are running. It's a text campaign, so much easier to play dramatic characters when you have time to think it out. But anyways I have speed ran character creation, and I am hype for the monster I have created, with dm approval of course bc this is probably the most far out character yet! And I've played the virgin mary, so you can imagine.

Not strong battle wise, they are a shrimpy lil warlock, of the caster variety. But backstory and personality wise, vicious. Literally, cause they are a deposed dictator of an empire who went off the deep end. Well they had fallen off the deep end before they even considered usurping the throne, but nobody know that yet. Remember guys, when you install a deeply traumatized 18 year old as a religous figurehead, make sure they don't actually get power. But trauma aside, make sure they do not repeatedly expose themselves to eldritch horrors beyond the comprehension of man, cause that tends to fuck em up more if you would believe.

Anyways, love this loser to bits. He's being sent to a therapy resort in game :>. Also we are starting high level, so not weirdly accomplished level one character. Though I cannot say if his war crimes count as accomplishments. In any case I've never truly played past level 5, so building a big ole level 15-er is scary

[bayouette]

Maybe because I’m #enlightened because I have two close relatives with higher needs/intellectual disability autism, but some people want to “cure autism” as a beneficial thing for their children so they can live “full” lives and not for eugenics shit (disabled people pollute the blood line) right? Growing up I wanted to study neuroscience to cure autism because it affected (so called “took energy out of”) the women in my life so much. All of us are aware that my cousin is alive and deserves to be alive and is able to love and have likes and dislikes and we love him so much we would do anything for them you still have to recognize that he will never have a “normal life”. Possibly a “bad life” because of it. And it’s kinda like oh that’s why autism is a disability.

So that’s why even though I am a “#gtkidburnout kid who turned out to be high masking autistic” I recognize that I am the minority with what is actually autism. Many times I think I am more OCD or anxious than having high sensory over loud (which I do) or having trouble communicating (which I do, but I can hold a professional conversion in so called “masking” even though it pains me to look them in the face and I’m sweating and wishing to kill myself”. My uncle or cousin could never do anything other than simple or physical or “disciplinary’ (don’t run away from me don’t run into the street please youre my baby im scared you might die or get taken advantage love I’m so tired I loved you more than I love my anxious maybe sub-clinical daughters but maybe just a little anxious and antisocial, if you’re beautiful soul ever got hurt before me—) therapy. Showing love in our family was taken care of them if something happened to their parents. My mom cried when I was 10 and said if anything happened to grandma I would take care of my uncle (her older brother) at any cost. My mom never ever cries. My (born during ww2) grandmas whole life was her clearly autistic (r word stupid possessed he should be put somewhere and never see his loving family again)son who was the first generation of autistic kids to get equal (special ed) education within public schools. My grandma (who was born working class first-language-Spanish) and used her smart wit with stocks so became somewhat upper middle class’s) life is of course her own, but very much donated much of it to her son who only likes a particular style of clothes and we need to hide snacks from him because he’s diabetic but we don’t know if he knows that like I’m just like stop stop we’re not supposed to talk about this if I say this I’m “ableist” against people who are billionaires won’t you just listen to me 30% of ppl with autism are intellectually disabled most of us don’t have a job (I had a 2 “jobs” first time it was a temp position that I was never called back after the first day and never officially fired me and never gave me money? And then I became an intern at a company because I told them I’m organized because I “may have autism” and then went to the mental hospital for a week after 2 months of doing one speed sheet because she wanted me to do daily meetings and I want to fucking killl myself so I had to go the hospital to get out of the internships but never tell my college or the company that it was because I was fucking neurotic anxious fucking autist.

Look oh “autism speaks is bad” isn’t because they want to cure autism. Autism is a disorder. Most people don’t like have disorders. So when they impact your day to day lives 24/7 can’t be left alone remember to close the bathroom door please say more than yes or no do you remember me I’m your niece yes it’s because he is smiling and nodding and thumping his chest I love him I’ll do anything with him I could never have a conversation about lord of the rings like with my other uncle who may have been a diagnosed with “a little bit of the autism” if he was a tween today to someone who you love like a son a precious baby son who sometimes does tricks that’s shows that he loves us (do you want to hug me? No? Come on I’m your aunt?? Aw, okay, oh, OHE HE GAVE ME A KISS!! OH BUESO BUESO BUESO MY LOVE MY DARLING” (I CANT BE AUTISTIC BECAUSE I FORCED DOWN MY DESIRE TO HURL EVERYTIME SOME HUGGED ME “please don’t hurt me where do I put my arms you’re smelly you’re kinda creepy is this what uncles do??? Mexicans are just more touchy I watched too much law and order to feel something to explain why I felt so alone and in grief and in rage I tour up my leather chair I need to bleed so that explains someone must have molested this is why because normal people don’t fucking feel this way!!!!! When they touch their uncles????? WHAT HAPPENED TO ME??”

Autism speaks sucks because it endorses autism as a death sentence. “I want to kill my ‘heavily autistic’ daughter because she’s violent and dangerous to her other siblings and I’m so tired and my misogynistic husband doesn’t love me anymore let’s just go to heaven and meet Christ heaven anything is better than this” that IS MURDER!!! AN Autistic CHILD IS NOT A FUCKING ANIMAL!!! THAT GIRL IS RIGHT THERE SHE KNOWS WHATS GOING ON ITS NOT THAT THEYRE ARE STUPID THEY HAVE THOUGHTS MY UNCLE GENUINELY LOVES SEEING HIS COUSINS AND NIECES AND NEPHEWS HE LOVES ME ‘IM HAPPT (name) IS HEREE’ he types on the print-out keyboard (he technically isn’t talking (is that non-verbal selective mutism TikTok) because my 4’11 mid 80s grandma is guiding him with her beautiful old wrinkled calloused veiny beautiful could stare all at day I could paint that and be put in a museum fingers) and he can’t do it on his own. But I love him like a fucking human not a fucking lamb to be slaughtered!!! I refuse to have my uncle or cousin of Isaac!!!!!!! They are not damned!!! We are weird and I’m the least weird but I’m fine I keep in my grimace mom mom you have no friends mom That’s NOT NORMAL Mommy.

But my cousin from my dad’s side just got diagnosed over the computer with AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER and she cried out in glee!! ‘Finally!!! I’m in the special club!!! That’s why I’m so QURIKY IM SO ALONE!! Hehehe.’ And she said ‘oh your maternal uncle must have been hidden inside’ ARE YOU ISNANE??? MY GRANDMOTHER WOULD KILL HERSELF TO SAVE HER AUTISTIC SON. SHE WAS ONE OF THE FIRST IN FUCKING THE USA TO DEMEND EQUAL TREATMENT (WITHOUT LABOTOMIES WITHOUT EUGENICS) FOR HER YOUNG BOY ONE OF THE FIRST IN OUR COUNTY THEY SAID SHE WAS A BAD MOM THAT IT WAS ALL HER FAULT R WORD DEMON SPAWN YOU KNOW THE SPARTANS KICKED CRIPPS OFF THEIR CLIFFS WHEN THEYRE BABIES TOO BAD THEY DONT HAVE THAT NOW!!

YOU KNOW NOTHING BESIDES TUMBLR! YOU DO NOT TRUST YOUR ELDERS (many queers are autistic?)!!! MY GRANDMA MY MOM MY AUNT MY UNCLE MY COUSIN MY SISTER MY DAD ARE THE ELDERS DIPSHIT!!!! SOME OF THE PEOPLE ABOVE ARE THE somewhat NEUROTIC ANTISOCIAL NOBODY TALKS FOR THIRTY YEARS BUTS THATS NORMAL. — BUT THEY SPEAK FOR THE ONES WHO CANNOT SPEAK!!! WHICH IS A LARGE FRACTION OF AUTISTIC PEOPLE!! WHICH IS WHY ITS CALLED AUTISM SPEAKS DUMBASSS!!!!!!!!!!! DUMBAESSSS!!!!

I WISH I WAS FUCKING NORMAL AND IM NOT ABELIST FOR WISHING THAT. I WENT TO FOUR HIGH SCHOOLS. IM MAYBE GOING TO MY THRID COLLEGE AND IM A SOPHMORE STILL.I HAVE TWO FRIENDS!!! IM 20 and HAVE NEVER BEEN ON A DATE!!! NOT TALKING ABOUT GREEK MYTHOLOGY??? SHUT UP SHUT UP LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE LAYERS OF TROY OH WHAT ABOUT SIGNING UP FOR CLASSES? NO IM SCARED IM SO SCARED WHAT IF THEY SEE IM NOT NORMAL IM A FREAK IM MONSTER IM A BAD PERSON!!! I WISH I WAS MORE AUTISTIC SO PEOPLE WOULD BELIEVE ME!!!! I’m not gonna make it past 25!!! I have been near bed ridden for 5 months ish.

In the end I made it about me..:… I’ve been depressed/anxious for what’s seems like my whole life I went through diaries that said I never was a child because I was so careful and scared and neurotic and shy and please don’t scream at me please don’t touch me!!….. and I wished I was like my cousin who is “level 2” who they asked if it was okay to touch. But they never asked me… it wasn’t until I started questioning our fundamental autistic anxious antisocial please don’t be estranged like that one uncle and said “oh my good I think I’m autistic” that people went softer. Only a handshake. A wave. Didn’t chase me down to demand a goodbye hug. Then I got my diagnosis (which comes with its own sense of grief) and it’s like “:))) it’s okay”” and it’s like finally finally!!!! You understand!! I love you but I don’t know you!!!! Why do you love me??? I’m so hopeless!!!!

Goddd I’m making it ABOUT ME AGAIN!!!!

I’m sorry to all autistics. Autism does not make us monkeys or dogs or demons or freaks or deserved to be choked in their crib we are human beings!!!! And I love my uncle and cousin and my family so much but I can’t talk to them I’m so scared.

And you can make the best of it! You can say, “oh because of my autism I’m really into aquariums!!!” And get special interest energy (respect) and be really passionate about your job as a marine biologist and you’re super organized as a person you are a technology whiz!!! You devote all your time to work and aquariums (and maybe some other special interests like anime figures that make her literally squeal) instead of hanging out with family or friends or coworkers or potential partners because you’re so odd and hahahaha sorry I actually have a headache yeah I can go to that company party but really you’re just so scared you’ll say the wrong thing). But you live with it. You don’t need much affection or attention—but sometimes from the right couple people it feels nice. And you don’t like many people anyway, few ‘get you’ And you may be happy like this. You never get married. Sometimes people talk to you like a baby but you never get why. You know the most about random details that come in handy sometimes. People trust you but aren’t necessarily affectionate towards you. And you have your parents who are cool and siblings that are okay and a couple friends who really ‘get’ you and you be happy. You may love being autistic.

It’s a spectrum, remember? I wish my uncle and cousin were happy and full. I want to be functional and half-way normal. I want every kid who thought they were a secret alien who didn’t know when to look into peoples eyes to be acknowledged and be told ‘ you are not normal but that in no way means you cannot be happy.’ And I wish special ed had more funding. You can make an argument that gifted is special ed whatever but it in should no way get more money than special ed.

I

[seasonschange-butpeopledont]

Wish You Were Here: A Not-So-Warm Welcome

Pairing: Frankie Morales x OFC (Valentina “Val” Garcia) / Santiago Garcia x Frankie Morales (platonic)

Warnings: Family drama, mentions of the death of Val & Santiago’s father (and a family pet, very briefly), a bit of cursing, domesticity, drinking, a bit of blood, references to drug use, Pope probably has PTSD, and Tom is an ass as per usual. You might want to punch Pope in the face. 

Word Count: 3,669

Author’s Note: In a dramatic shift from the pure softness that was Sunday Mornings, Pope has arrived to cause some chaos in the Morales-Garcia household. The fluff will return momentarily, with an extra side of ✨drama✨

Summary: When Pope returns to recruit the boys for his mission, he finds that things aren’t as he left them, and not everyone is so ready to welcome him home. 

Taglist Form - Masterlist

Pope glared down at the phone in his hands. He heard an overly-pleasant voice announcing boarding for group-whatever. He’d bought his ticket last minute and paid twice as much as it was worth; he expected he’d at least wind up on the plane sometime before take off, but he wasn’t necessarily holding his breath. Not that it mattered when he was so annoyed with the fact that it had come to this point to begin with. 

None of those assholes had answered his texts. And he needed them this time, bad. 

What was left to do but get on a plane and drag them down here himself?

He wants to be surprised at the distance between them as he scrolls through the three years of unanswered texts and voicemails, but… 

There’s a text from Benny informing him that Will’s fiancé had left him. He could really use a friend right now. You should give him a call, Pope. 

A picture from Tom of Tess’ first day of junior high. 

An email from Will. An online article in the local newspaper’s sports section. Benny won his first professional fight. Go team. 

A voicemail from Frankie. We got married. Tried to call… a few times, actually. We really wanted you to be there. 

Another voicemail, this time from Val. Dad’s gone. Heart attack. He never made it to the hospital. Mom is a wreck, Santi. The funeral is on Friday… Please be here. I need you. 

And then nothing. A year and a half, that’s all it had taken for them to give up on him. 

Pope doesn’t blame them. 

He didn’t know what he had come to Columbia for, not really. He remembered the bullshit he had spouted off to the guys, something about empowering the people of his mother’s homeland. It had sounded real fucking noble at the time, but it wasn’t the truth. 

He was running. Or maybe he was chasing something, trying to hold on to the only life he’d ever really known. Terrified of slowing down long enough to let his demons catch up to him. 

He didn’t know how the rest of the boys did it. They just fell back into civilian life as if any kind of normalcy was out there for them after all they had seen and done. 

Well, he did know how they did it. Ironhead made himself king of the group therapy sessions down at the VA, Fish had his dealer on speed-dial, and Benny beat the shit out of people for a hundred bucks a pop. God only knows what selling condos did for Redfly’s issues. 

And Pope ran around South America playing the hero. They all had their ways of coping. 

A hint of guilt made itself known in his gut when he looked at the voicemail from his younger sister. He hadn’t gone to the funeral. He’d called his mother, given her some excuse about a lead he just couldn’t lose, and buried himself deeper into the hole he’d been digging for himself. 

Frankie’s finger hovered over the delete button as he heard the water in the shower turn off. He tapped the button, erasing the messages, and tossed his phone down on the bed beside where he sat. He dropped his head into his hands, massaging his temples to stave off his impending stress headache. And it wasn’t even 8:00 am. 

Whatever Pope was popping out of the woodwork for, he knew it wasn’t as straightforward as he’d made it out to be. It never was with him. 

The click of the doorknob had his head shooting up, straightening his back and rolling his shoulders. Val emerged from the bathroom, humming softly to herself with a pleasant little smile on her lips. Her brother was still something of a sore spot for her, a disappointment she had never quite gotten over, and he’d done his best to hide the messages from her. 

He wasn’t in the habit of lying to his wife, but he was in the business of keeping the peace. He’d been there when their father had died, had held her in his arms as she cried at the funeral Pope hadn’t bothered to attend. Val hadn’t so much as spoken her brother’s name since. 

“Is she awake yet?” Val asked conversationally, shuffling through one of the dresser drawers. 

“Not since four,” He replied, pushing himself up off of the bed and heading towards the bathroom sink, and set to brushing his teeth. The mirror was still steamed over, but he could just make out Val in the reflection, pulling on a pair of leggings and a sweater. 

“She must have tired herself out last night– this morning? Whatever, you know what I mean.”

“Must have,” Frankie echoed through a mouthful of toothpaste. 

He could feel her watching him, the normal affection in her eyes replaced with a hint of worry. “Is everything okay?” She asked with a frown. Val studied his face carefully, tracing his features with her eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“You just seem… off.”

“It’s nothing, babe,” He dismissed with a shake of his head. “Just tired. I really need Luisa to start sleeping again.” 

“You and me both,” She sighed. “Do you have time for coffee?”

“Not really, I’ve got to get to work,” Frankie replied regretfully. “Ben asked for the day off to get ready for his fight tonight, so it’s just me at the garage this morning. Can’t be late.”

“Oh, right,” She nodded. “I forgot you’d be home late. Will you wish Benny good luck for me when you see him?”

The disappointment on her face was clear— they spent so little time together these days, and he could tell that working from home with just the baby for company was taking its toll.

“Of course,” Frankie agreed, a hint of teasing in his tone. “He’ll be so thrilled you remembered.”

Val rolled her eyes, giving his shoulder a playful shove. The small crush Ben seemed to harbor for his wife— greatly exaggerated on Frankie’s part— was a running joke between them, one that never failed to lighten the mood. As the advice columnist for the local newspaper, Val had it on good authority that his crush was actually the check-out girl at the market where Benny shopped for groceries, but he did seem to be a bit of a hung up on Helpful Holly if the frequency of his letters was anything to go by. He didn't know it was Val, of course, but Frankie got a kick out of it nevertheless. 

By the time he’d finished rinsing, the humming had picked up again, and the usual morning routine of dancing around each other in their cozy, half-renovated home commenced once more.

Twenty minutes later, Frankie left the house with a quick peck on the cheek, Luisa’s chubby baby hand waving him off, and a thermos of coffee warming his hands against the brisk morning air.

To say that things hadn’t been easy lately would be an understatement. With the suspension of Frankie’s pilot license and the new baby, things had been exceptionally tight financially. 

If it wasn’t the odd jobs that he hated, or the fact he had paid the mortgage late again, or the constant anxiety that kept him on edge, then maybe it was his eight-month-old’s apparent sleep regression. 

Frankie was exhausted in every sense of the word, but he liked the life he was building here, imperfect as it was. Whatever trouble Pope was about to bring into it, Frankie was sure that he wanted no part of it. 

“It’ll be strange not having you around,” Frankie mused. 

His truck was idling in front of the airport as they prepared to say goodbye. Pope had sold his car last week, knowing that this trip to Colombia was one-way, at least for the foreseeable future. He’d been bumming rides from the boys the past couple of days. Each of them was reluctant to admit that they were grateful for the opportunity to spend a few extra minutes with their friend before he left them all behind. 

“Yeah? I’m sure you’ll be able to hold down the fort until I get back,” Pope chuckled, patting his shoulder. 

“It’ll probably be easier without you always getting me into trouble.” 

“Trouble? If it weren’t for me, you’d spend every Saturday night alone in your garage trying to resuscitate this piece of junk–” He rapped his knuckles against the door for emphasis. “I keep your life interesting, Fish.” 

“That’s one way of putting it.”

“Speaking of trouble, this thing with my sister...“ Pope smirked as Frankie’s head snapped towards him, his eyes wide with surprise. 

Frankie shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut as he murmured, “Ben Miller is a dead man.” 

“Is it serious?”

“Um… It’s not— I mean, we’re— “ Frankie fumbled, unconsciously reaching up and pulling the brim of his hat lower to hide his embarrassment. “We haven’t really talked about it yet.”

“Relax,” Pope dismissed his discomfort with a wave of his hand. “I’m her brother, not her parole officer. Now, if it was Benny she was sneaking around with, that would be a whole different story. Just promise me that you’ll look out for her while I’m gone.” 

Frankie let out a sigh of relief, relaxing his white-knuckle grip on the steering wheel. “You know I will.” 

And Pope believed him wholeheartedly. After everything they’d been through, he trusted Frankie with his life. 

He’s jarred from the dream– the memory–  by the elderly woman who had sat next to him on the plane, sucking in a sharp breath when she reached out to shake his shoulder. 

“Wake up,” She huffed. “I have a connecting flight that leaves in twenty minutes–”

“Alright, alright, I’m going,” He grumbled, getting to his feet. His neck and back ached from sleeping hunched over in his seat, and he rolled his shoulders to relieve some of the tension. 

There was a lingering discomfort pit of his stomach that stuck with him all the way to his rental car, and it seemed to grow worse with each passing mile that brought him closer to the idyllic little town his friends had made their home. 

Through his phone full of unanswered text messages and a very brief stint on social media, Pope knew that things with Val and Frankie had, in fact, gotten serious.

The “I’ve got the new baby now and my lady doesn’t want me doing this kind of shit anymore” kind of serious that was currently threatening to blow up his plans, much to his annoyance.

The smile on Frankie’s face when he talks about the new baby is something that he hadn’t been prepared for�� not that he’d spent much time contemplating it as he drove from the airport, running through his pitch. It had been one thing to know that his best friend had become a father. Lots of people their age were parents now. Pope was no expert and had no burning desire to go out and start a family of his own, but babies were cute enough from a distance. When they were calm and quiet and not covered in their own excrement. 

It was putting those concepts together, Frankie and a baby, that was throwing him. He’d seen Frankie do some shit—wild, crazy, dangerous shit. Horrible shit that still haunted him, amazing shit that he’d never take credit for. Pope had always imagined his best friend retiring on a beach somewhere, full Margaritaville style. Perhaps flying celebrities and weekenders with too much cash to burn to and from the mainland to keep himself occupied. Maybe he’d get a captain’s license, too, if business got slow. 

But it was easy to see the pride reflected in his eyes when he talked about the tiny human that had recharted the course of his entire life. Pope had never seen him so… enamored. Even with Val, back when Frankie was mooning over her all those years ago, it had been nothing compared to this. 

He sees it then, perhaps for the first time since he got off the plane. These weren’t the same men he’d left behind three years ago.

The recce is a harder sell than he anticipated, but he talks them into it eventually. He isn’t sure if he’s surprised that Frankie is the last holdout. Pope didn’t know anyone in their right mind who would turn down easy money like that, no matter what shit they had going on back home. Seventeen grand was seventeen grand, and if he played his cards right, they could easily turn that into a couple hundred thousand. Millions, even. He isn’t sure if it’s loyalty or guilt that finally wins out, but there’s a heaviness in Frankie’s shoulders when he finally gives in. 

Benny won the fight, if one could call it that. Benny worked the crowd well, kept on his toes, and most of the blood on the mat was his opponent’s rather than his. Will stayed behind, dragging Benny off to the locker room to fuss over his baby brother’s bloody nose. 

It’s just the three of them, then. Tom, Frankie, and Pope meandering through the crowd and towards the parking lot. He wasn’t sure he could get a decent buzz off warm beer anymore, but he felt like a teenager again, completely invincible with his boys at his side and ready to take on the world. Tom had confiscated his keys, and twice Frankie had to reach for his arm, preventing him from picking a fight with the guy who’s knocked into his shoulder in the crowd or trailing after the blonde who’d been eyeing him all night. 

“Where are you staying tonight, Pope?” Tom asked finally as they broke free from the mass of bodies exiting the gymnasium. 

“I was hoping I could crash on a couch,” Pope admitted, stumbling slightly as they reached the parking lot. He hadn’t thought that far ahead once he’d made up his mind to buy the plane ticket, not even bothering to figure out a place to sleep. If worse came to worse, he could always sleep in his rental car. He’d certainly slept in worse places. 

Frankie sent Tom a pleading look, but he simply shook his head and scoffed, “Don’t look at me. I’m not the one who’s screwing his sister.” Charming as ever.

Frankie glared at him but didn’t engage. It wasn’t worth it, even if Tom was right in his own fucked up way. If Pope needed a place to stay, he knew that Frankie would offer it. They were family, after all. 

“Holy shit, this thing still runs?” Pope asked, patting the body of the old Ford. 

“More or less. She got a new transmission for Christmas last year,” Frankie remarked. “Val wanted me to sell her, but…” He trailed off. There was an awkward beat of silence before Pope spoke up again. 

“Is Val gonna be okay with this?” 

Frankie shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels slightly. “Yeah, I’m sure it’ll be fine.” 

Pope raised an eyebrow, challenging his response. “You aren’t going to call her first?”

“Nope.” He shook his head. “Wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise.” 

Pope gave a soft snort of amusement, hitching his duffel bag higher up on his shoulder. He got the sense that he was something of a sore spot in the Morales-Garcia household these days. 

“Better get going then. Wouldn’t want to keep her waiting.” 

Frankie gave a nod, opening the door for him before walking around the front and climbing in on the driver’s side.  Pope followed suit, sighing as he relaxed into the familiar worn leather on the bench seat. 

Pope reached for the photograph tucked into the visor in front of him. Val, a few years older than he remembered her, and a baby. So obviously Frankie’s, with the same dimple in her cheek and big doe eyes. 

“What’s her name?” Pope asks as he stares down at the photograph. He’s just sober enough to feel guilty for not already knowing. 

“Luisa.” 

A hard lump forms in his throat, and he turns his attention back to the blurred headlights of the passing cars. 

They’d named her after his father. 

Frankie turned down a gravel driveway, jolting Pope from his daze as the truck took the bumps. 

Once they’d passed the thick line of trees, he could see the small, white farmhouse set against the backdrop of the lake. It was extremely modest, a fixer-upper that was likely an ongoing project for Frankie. Fairy lights hung from the roofline, extending towards a nearby tree and illuminating a picnic table. 

Frankie put the old pickup truck in park. He held his finger up to his lips, signaling for Pope to be quiet as they headed towards the front door. The heavy wooden door creaked on its hinges as it opened. They were greeted by a German Shepard lounging in his bed by the door, waiting for Frankie to return. His eyes opened upon their entrance and closed again once he was satisfied that they weren’t intruders. 

“’Night, Pax,” Frankie murmured, bending down to scratch behind his ears. 

“Pax? What happened to Ranger?”

Frankie straightened, still not quite looking at Pope. 

“He died a couple of years ago. I sent you a text about it.”

There was a sharpness to Frankie’s tone that hadn’t been there before. He wondered how many texts and voicemails Frankie had left that had fallen on deaf ears. Had he called when Luisa was born? On his wedding day? How many times had Pope let him down?

“Nice place,” Pope said politely, his eyes roaming over the peeling wallpaper in the hallway. Nice was a generous assessment, but it had good bones. 

Frankie snorted quietly, shrugging out of his jacket. “It’s a work in progress. Turns out renovations are a lot more fun when you actually have the cash to fix things.” 

Pope felt the sting of guilt cut through him once more. Frankie needed this job. He could see in his eyes how tired he was. How much he wanted to make things good for his family, to provide for his little girl. 

“Honey, who are you talking to?” A sleepy voice croaked from the end of the hallway. Pope could just make out the sound of bare feet padding along the hardwood floor before Val emerged from the darkness. 

She squinted, her eyes still adjusting to the dim lamplight. Pope could see her shut down the moment her sleep-riddled brain put the pieces together. 

“Santiago?”

A wave of emotions swirled in his chest, mixing with the alcohol in his veins and forcing bile to rise in his throat. The coldness in her tone washed over him like a bucket of ice water. 

“Hey, Valentina,” Pope greeted, raising a hand in a half-hearted wave. He’d dreaded this part since the moment he’d bought the plane ticket. Facing her again after all those years, after everything that he’d missed… 

She didn’t look at him the same way he remembered. There was something guarded there now, and he instantly regrets not opting for the motel they’d passed on the highway. She wasn’t happy to see him.

“Frankie?” She prompted expectantly. 

“Surprised the hell out of me too, babe,” He shrugged casually. She raised an eyebrow, the pair of them having a silent conversation that Pope wasn’t privy to. He could only imagine that they were negotiating the terms of his stay. 

Frankie’s trademark puppy dog eyes brought them to some kind of resolution, and with a sigh, she muttered, “Just keep it down.” 

Frankie nodded, “Yes, ma’am.” 

And without another word, she turned, disappearing once more into the direction she’d come from. Pope sent Frankie a grateful look, sure that he would be paying for his hospitality later. 

“There’s a quilt on the back of the couch,” Frankie told him, gesturing to the worn leather sofa Pope recognized from Frankie and Benny’s old house. It was a damn comfortable couch, one that he’d crashed on plenty of times before, now covered with a throw blanket and decorative pillows.

“Bathroom’s down the hall,” He continued, “And the kitchen is that way.” He pointed in the opposite direction. 

“I’ll talk to Val about all of this in the morning, and we’ll figure out a better place for you to stay while you’re here. In the meantime, whatever you do, do not wake the baby. She’ll probably kick us both out,” He warned before heading off towards what Pope assumed was their bedroom. 

Frankie was a good friend, even after everything. 

Dropping his duffle bag on the floor with a soft thud, Pope kicked off his shoes and stretched out on the couch. He recognized the stitching on the quilt as his mother’s and pulled it over himself. It was soft and heavy, and it reminded him of home.

Sleep didn’t come to him easily anymore, no matter how much he wished it would tonight. Instead, he was left to turn over his mission in his mind, again and again, walking through his plan step by step before his thoughts turned back to the team he’d assembled. 

Benny was an easy hook, young and hot-tempered with an unwavering loyalty bred deep in his bones. Will named his only condition, and Redfly was searching for some kind of redemption wherever he could find it. 

But the fact was, they had nothing to lose. 

But Frankie and Val were a family now. They had a baby, a quaint little fixer-upper on the edge of town, and enough problems of their own to handle without Pope throwing a few more into the mix.

As Pope stared up at the ceiling, listening to the sound of crickets chirping outside the window and the soft cries of his niece waking from her sleep for the umpteenth time that night, it occurred to him that maybe he was asking too much.

General Taglist:  @theravenreads @marshmallowtraver @computeringturtle  @artsymaddie @heythere-mel @jaime1110 @rosiefridayrogersunday  @amneris21 @adriiibell @practicalghost

Pedro Characters Taglist: @pascalisthepunkest @coldlilheart @fuck-goes-on @spideysimpossiblegirl @grogusmum @fangirl-316 @writeforfandoms @tobealostwanderer @diaryofkali @littlemisspascal @pjkimrn @curiouskeyboard @felteppsters @dinsangelx

Frankie Morales Taglist: @freeshavocadoooo @fangirl-of-randomness @darnitdraco @punkerthanpascal @quietpainter @lawfulgranola @meanperegrine @marvelousmermaid @luxmundee @tanzthompson

Wish You Were Here Series Taglist: @marvelousmermaid @hnt-escape @luxmundee

And… People I Think Might Be Interested But Will Untag if Asked Taglist: @artemiseamoon

[pndnj]

Cathartic- Yellow Metal Lyrics

Heres where I am with the lyrics, I referenced @25Goldenn on twitter for some of it that I couldn’t comprehend. 

*music*

0:23

Dark matter, like painted splatters, they fit better, the old saying, the way it goes, better the devil you do then you don’t know. I hit pedals and switch levers, my heart metal, I can't settle, im part trouble, they are not subtle. I fuck good so fuck cuddles, burst bubbles the thrist levels at new heights, i down doubles, and got baked til I felt high, my face puzzled, felt muddled, far strung and your floors woodent, the thought might but the fit wouldn’t. A fortnight

0:46 - 1:00

And I thought right, it’s all bark and no bite, I’m Tony Stark still embarking on a dream, took a bit of time to take darkness from the team. Seen what I saw. Heartless on the sleeve. Tried to burn my wings, so I put them in a piece on my chest , at peace no rest.

1:00-1:15

Flipped this on it’s head. Rip the script up now, flip it don’t pretend, slipping shit again, Fakers all around me, I’ve been living in pretense. Fake friends won’t make amends. There’s no need, these mean comments control the scenes. Attentionseekers, the spine is weakened

1:15-1:24

This family needs, what a family needs, and the planet bleeds, the damaged trees. It’s never leaving til we ascend so fuck the fence, and until they stop killing colour it’s fuck the feds.

1:22 - 1:44

You must be off it, I mean it, you know you ain’t never get with the judging and I used to dread growing my beard too long, never felt I belonged, but it's really long like a minute I ain’t looking to no mans for the limits, They’re feeling timid, I’m telling them who they mimic, why they don't look like a clinic …. Why they don't get no women, Still, we’re just fucking girls, Lost in the wrong world, Jurassic, now to this vermin

1:41-  1: 50

Kicking the game I’m serving, these losers are never learning, my fire is forever burning, adding it to my fuel, seems like I’m always focused on never becoming you, These locals that rob us feeling … was for a reason.

1:52-2:02

I’m seeing my new beginnings, watch out this loser’s winning, and no water is too deep to swim in Like I’m about to see a killing, I’m all the way that and living, flawless and feeling lawless, the prison now to the gimmicks, my vision is set to something,

2:03-:2:20

I’m watching you bitches plummet, no matches here for my cunning, you rappers are feeling done in, switching your genre, running and Running your jaw, stunting, pulling at straws, something  I think you’re a poor effort, deaf and tone deaf and I ain’t treat you separate. Living, I’m in my element, riding it like a … never lose me to fentanyl, scared when I take a benadryl. Keeping it green in general

2:20- 2:46

Think that you remain irrelevant. Look at yourself with reverence, hoping to always elevate. Celibate of these thoughts, killing themselves with sedatives. In comparison to eminem, you’re feeling feminine. Impolitically correct, still dropping on my dick. And I never gave a fuck about what they say abt my shit, I’ve been moving things in my mind like it’s this mountain dew Memories have made me wonder if one day I’m after you. What’s the purpose that you do, is what you're hoping that they learn, i’d like to say i’m done but it’s getting up on my nerves

2:46 -2:55

I’m looking at my life, saying what do I deserve. It’s hard to say I know when I’m walking through the dirt. Talking while you’re nothing I can see for what it’s worth. I’m tired of feeling hurt and I’ve tried enough but nothing works.

2:55-3:40

I’m racking up excuses while I’m slacking off on work. Chit chatting is the usual, talking to this clerk, i beg you don’t include me. I might write it on my shirt so everytime they see me, the oldest know to swerve. SWERVE Life is potent, bits of fucked shit… till they took notice weren’t  no hocus pocus, it was hard work that got me heard so i put in the graph like google maps but the whole earth

… around my door mat, taking over like the drones, rolling dirt up in miles like the water, and exploding like Annas hematoma. Don't need to see a slammer to know that I don't want to go man

I’m a showman. I’m just focused on the drama… like i’ve got my own insurance, show myself the pain, like i boxed it in the frame, if we’re about to talk greatness im great, the way you have to say my name like beyonce

“Say my name”

4:00-4:46

Just a bum with a cigarette, sun coming up, all my thoughts on the internet. Feeling deep, I’m just bored with the silhouette single sec,  get fucked up for the thrill of it . killer streak playing Pacman. Like I came from the Philippines vanilla bean still a thing for the thrill of scene,

Theres a beam, UFO, Leave it well alone  I aint moving, stood still on the peloton, telephone and its always on the dial tone,  it's been a while since i’ve smiled at a milestone, seen a big pile in my mind stone, me against the world on my Jack Jones, Like I’m John Jones, With pictures in the condo, far from John Doe, in the ___, like I'm Johnny Bravo, got pravado, with a small dick sitting in golados, feeling far gone, cuz that last hit was the good shit, was that stay lit

4:48-5:02

You can never take my shit come and get me. On the top floor,  cloud 9, fading, never bailing, felt amazing, inhaling, til my lungs two guns blazing. Overcome all the stunts that I pulled. A suit of just skin and then wool

5:02- 5:17

This life doesn’t give you no armour, a lot of myself can harm ya. I swear on what’s good, that I’m here till they take me. I pray that I’m wrinkled, at least over 80, and start moving like a ruler, ?damaged? Like a computer going fast, bars from the jeweler, bring the songs to the beach in hopes of finding tuna

5:18-5:36

…

5:36- 6:16

Grab a bat, lose my rag. Couple things got me mad, a couple people got me wrong and now I’m changing up the swag. Coming in and stealing it, I might take the whole bag. Feeling undefeated, I’m a beast with a reason, and imma lead the whole pack. Fearless like I’m Caesar, I’m just waiting for a chance to fill it up with diesel, and all I've been achieving is clocking miles in its region, moving like a legion.

Promise that I made to myself an allegiance. Do you still believe I’m a fool for ever leaving, staring at the ceiling, can never put a cap on achieving. I’m just here for the rap, then I’m leaving.

I’ve had about enough of being my own enemy, it’s time I grew up,  a long way from 17. Always went against the grain, struggles in my life. Got some things to say when I stand up on a mike.

6:16-6:32

I ain’t dropping this for fame, I need this time, like therapy, it’s just to keep me sane. The truth is on my medicine, can’t put that on your plate.

Speeding into everything, bout time I fixed the brakes. Don’t say I can’t communicate , you know I conversate with you in several different ways. And I know you know it’s references, looking at your face.

6:33- 6:53

Can’t justify mistakes, like every man that made them, seems I ain't  the one to blame. Lying to myself, only had so much to gain, so now I’m switching up the plate, see if that affects the place, im at on most days

I ain’t going with the usual so they looking at me strange. Confused, I can feel it all,  I’m here to make a change. It’s cold at 3am outside, I’m walking with the dog, thanking god that you don’t talk at all, my mind is switching off

6:54-7:12

Driving down to find myself, cuz I’ve been getting lost, lived this selfless life and found I can give a toss. Lessons that I’ve learned I’ve tried teaching to myself. What I’ve learnt from certain people is that they’re better than myself.

So I surround myself with real ones, and you feel the plastic melt. Like burning toy soldiers that used to go up on the shelf. Recycle the ideas, conveying on the belt

7:14-7:29

.. circus, always hurting the way we felt? Embarrassed that we dreamt of bigger things and letting go of notions till we feel them in cement

Tired of only hoping, we feel broken men. Cuz the gravity is weight and has kept us to the ground, see the only people speaking with favors in their mouths

7:46-7:58

Got killer rhymes… no fillers, like godzilla, eating clouds cuz my smokes thicker, throat licker, my dope sicker, bringing people their hope like im the pope slicker,  i hope you’re getting the point cuz i walk quicker

I thought my city was shit bcs I want bigger like my zipper couldn’t zip up fed up with the…my love is fickle.. Residual age has a primitive face

I see demise for your limited ways, Left it to simmer, simmer away…a fake glimmer in the haze

8:09-8:11

Feeling trapped this industry is a cage

8:34-8:50

Nobody’s speaking the truth, I’m offended by the State. Look at the state of the news, I’ve decided the argument, reciting my views, while they’ve been sat in their chairs, I’m feeling pressure to choose.

Standing here as one man, how can I do half when you’re half the person I am. If it wasn’t in your life, you didn’t choose it. It’s the funny thing about music. It’s the pain and beauty of it.

8:52-9:11

Don’t give a fuck what my suit is, it looks good so I wear it, better than the shoot that People’s wearing, changing the whole narrative for these basics and scarcity

Been facing the racists from back when i were a kiddie .born up in in 93’. been living in Bradford City..kicked me out of the schools, they had a problem with me hitting the kids that would call me p*** still sitting in the classroom chilling, and i'm angry now that I’m older I see they treat us different

9:12-9:25

got me thinking I’m the problem cuz they never dealt with those issues.

20 years later I’m still in the same boat, tryna treat me like my grandpa, say I came up off the boat. Came to tell you what I stand for, man I think you’re shit, a joke. How can I be civil, when they got me by the throat

9:25-9:35

Pushing my feelings down, you ain’t got it like them

‘Boy your skin is so light’, ok motherfucker take my name up on a flight. Try to convince immigration that your bloodline’s half white.

9:35-9:45

I don’t know how that’s acceptable, when life is more susceptible to perception, be the death of them. I’ve been looking at the sky saying where’s that day of reckoning, you had your prophets right when they say that you would speak to them.

9:45-9:55

I need justice in this life and I trust that it’s my fight, cuz when I’m writing it feels right to have them focused on the facts again. Focused on the rap again, hoping for the change, gunna put this on the map again

9:55-10:16

Writing in all caps again, the pain, it goes through me so I write the letter. All the shit that could have brought me but made me better.

I’m at home with a pain in my soul , yeh rap… cuz you know I was too real to contest it, my time was invested. Now I look at the industry, I see it infested, looking like kids who would write on nesquik.

10:17-10:29

My name ain’t on the list unless they label it ethnic.

I ain’t never gave a fuck about these jokers and jesters. Ain’t no answers for these things, so just save us the questions, man allowed of violence, cuz my silence is deafening, your opinion stinks, somebody get him a breath mint.

10:30- 10:42

Start to understand why they think that I’m threatening, I move in certain ways, couldn’t slow me with ketamine Now they all wanna hear me, got a table at letterman. Direction changed, like I changed up the lettering. Don’t believe the age ,bcs I move like a veteran.

10:42 - 10:47

Raised on the benefit for whose benefit, they’ll never learn shit, man, if the shoe fits.

…no words coming out when you open your mouth

And to be honest, it’s insulting, offensive to my wounds that have been salting. Tryna ask me questions that they know I never answer. I’d rather sit online and reply to the fan art

11:00-11:06

Fuck a sports car, coming through when i rapped

tell you what I like, farm life and the tractor

11:06- 11:17

Fake life, 'sup online, suck a fat one. You don’t wanna buy into that, none of that son. Sitting in the garden 98’ in the Datsun,  seen some hot summers but I still remember that sun.

*music*

11:51- 12:34

I make millions off of my pain, cause I know a few millions still living that way

Dealing with the hurt, they should know cause they don’t deserve it, it hit deep cause i hit the nerve. Only way that the sheep learn if the street firm, in my ways I don’t wanna change, everything just stay the same

Who you tryna convince you understand, cant maintain, let the lights dim some,  get the Chow Mein, flex, get the tape, right up at night

Why these men be nice to my face, be nice,  i ain’t tryna be a gangsta ruins my vibe

Rather be low-key and on my phone. Never need the trophy or the show piece

Never show peace in a North Face fleece. Show kids this like i wrote my flip

Cause the sign might fit till the start i’m sick

12:37-13:05

Now you see where I come from, the world don’t. Only achievement in this life is the Jordans. Committing petty crimes out of boredom, we can’t afford them. So I stole it, need a rolex

Go make sense, get yourself a job, It’s a poor man’s game tryna sit and pray to god, he ain’t sorting out your problems, gotta sort them out yourself

Used to tell us fables, now I’m writing them myself, Cause we raw like animals we all just need some help

Cathartic, I’m an artist, trying to put my heart in

Felt double crossed like Leo in Departed

13:05- 13:27

For the knowledge i’m not charging see I got it all free

But my hunger kept me starving like i’m feening for the feed

I just Need a reason to see me bleeding for my creed. Trick you with the words like I keep em up my sleeve. Picking where I fit, I see me sitting with the queen

I ain’t doing it unless you’re used to saying please

Let me flow a bit, before I sting 'em with the bees, They tryna kill us with disease

(Music)

13:34- 14:12

Why does it feel like they had the same notebook and the same four looks

Like the rain won't touch on their face, so sus when they lie don’t trust not a minor

Please no fuss, I just move through the game like must

Something in the way i adjust till i stick, Free falling like the ship, free fall till i bust

Remember 21 brother gave no fucks. Trying to project when they give them looks

In the projects, in the objects us

In my own way, never gave me love, shoulda never started this, broken hearted kid

Dried up the feeling till I stole the lid

Don’t wanna relish in the fame but I can’t resist

14:46-14:58

I like the way we feel, I like the way, I like the way

Ain’t no mistake, i am a being

I ain’t tryna be a leader, been selling out since Jesus

All my rhymes are for the readers, between the lines, like Father time, I fuck Mother Nature

14:58-15:40

That’s what they get, the connotations. Tell 'em I lived a life, and then I lived a life of adjacent? like its…. and played it patient.

Alone on my own spaceship, always tryna find greatness, still defying lines, but I’m fighting in my prime.

Shining light like Kylo while imma kill it all the time. Aging like I’m wine

Asian in my face, but still my race you can’t define. Focused on defiance, imma fight it while it’s life.

Started something sick and on my mind is what’s next, just became a dad so now I’m taking all the cheques. Better know I’m staying and paying like it’s debt. Imma get it done, if it’s taking all my breath, sweat, and down I ain’t messing around til I’m the best

Speaking in full sentences, shoulda thought about a strategy before you went at the stratosphere about this… rings around Saturn, this ain’t a battle, I’m sat, I’m here

15:40-16:22

Catch me doing magic, hired and sounding tragic I think you could use practice and until that you get the blacklist and pull like a … actress? Fooling them like a catfish, schooling like a legend, happy to be the reference, fusing like iridescence, leaving them all guessing, leaking out of my brain like a pipe I aint fixing, shining like a star you can see it from a distance

Aint many of me around p*** I’m just different Certain stages to this level aint here because fame is to the devil fuck a label, imma do this from the ghetto, clean up like Im Dettol

I’m the man to put a bet on, sight smart like a weapon,  this is my kind of setting, i write the world I’m sat in, while these others live on hype, i see them fight in how they type, the fruit is ripe for the taking, i think i might

16:22-16:57

Let me take you away from here, Let me take you away from here, Let me take you away from here

16:58- 17:47

Eccentric things are mentioned like a kid stuck in detention tryna escape im just spitting what is written on the next page, spitting image of my dad in his young days

Born sinner when i’m livid i say fucks sake

Don’t worry i’m too cunning with no plumbing, the waterworks, i sung something that resonates, i thought it first like giving birth to the parrot perch

They see me do it and they know it works

Don’t know what’s worse: the way that you live your life or the way that you write a verse

You’ll be nervous, you don’t deserve it we’ll scratch the surface ill leave a crater, lift the dirt up to find the hurting

Can’t know for certain nothing is guaranteed, tryna be a better person than the world deserves to see cuz i see a lot of sharks still swimming in the sea

Cease and arrest what’s the reason.. And these the kinda kids we bringing up next

Distorted reality, all they needed was family, too hard to face, to see what the damage is

17:47

*i don’t wanna be, i don’t wanna be, a part of this, no, i don’t wanna be, i don’t wanna be, a part of this, *

18:04-18:38

Sometimes they ask the questions too deep to form a sentence, to disform, is this the norm, is this the sentence i feel defenseless i played the setlist, and all my sweat blood and tears, forgot to mention feeling lost, going off into different sections i feel like love wrecked it

If it’s not a drug why am i waiting for the next fix, affected, i cant believe that you left this

I guess I leave for the best wish, moving on like im fine for the lectures

We see it all from spectrums, cuz if we’re falling down we can fall down together

Staircase to heaven, mirror down the middle like 11, resentment on one side it won’t settle

18:38- 19:14

Mind fried but taking sense, they aint got a sense of themselves in the rich ends

Need to spell it out for them.. Made for them so witness

I know you feel afflicted but you always love it with me while im laughing at you, ya think you’re laughing with me

I try to (i love you) but im grown so they don’t fit me, my body thrown from the new to this old city so Im sick of sitting on my own, feeling so shitty, i’ve been on roads where its cold and the snow hitting

Its okay to be yourself, sit and talking to myself

I’ve been walking for the longest, just need a little rest, know i ain’t the strongest, I can feel it in my chest, talking about my feelings and of me, they get the best

19:14-19:59

They aint leaving, seeing breathing in my breath

Till death do us part is just seeded in my heart, like a work of art

Never winning,im just scared

Cant begin from the start, do i play a part in the rhythm of the night

I guess i’m onto something cuz the dark is feeling right

Every cloud got a lining, put my own miles  in, like moralis, figured that they’re jealous, that they could just never tell us to change because the weather never made me question whether or not i’m not that level

Got rid of all the bullshit sitting in my way, most of them are full of shit i see it every day

I do hearing the same things that i do, maybe that shits hitting like haiku

How much do you pay for them to hype you

Recycle your flaws but they aint like new, leaving and conceded and full of diesel like engines that need a cleaning, the ending will be revealing. Even though we ain’t raising the facts, now we been facing.

20:01-20:52

The cactus with spikes, needing spaces. Different faces, the same story. A full body like straight body direct to your system.

Could never tell 'em we missed’ em. Not even with the thoughts, we gift them. Cuz they just take advantage, guess we are caught in a system.

My soul pouring out details of borrowed time, had enough of a fill, this is for sorrow time. I’m seeing visions of Heaven, I seen the severed line, between the gospel they speak and when theyre telling lies.

Remember telling a friend of mine, you’d sent of mine, identified like a 3rd eye. Got a habit of knowing now where the dirt lies. So benign. I ain’t sober after 9, so I fuck their minds. Why you flipping out, see another

Try to rep it from the city, fuck a chiller crew, repping for the nittys, trying to keep us down, raised on the social, don’t want to let us out of the system. Me, I insist we assist them, me alone putting shifts til I lift them

20:53-21:12

I know it’s hard, that’s why I like it, I’m fit to fight it, I’m from the North, I’m backing Tyson, it’s been decided, don’t see no light. They needing guiding, just redefining, realizing, I’m realigning, in full finance, they stay silenced.

Can’t be louder, I’m juiced up with no powder. I fix shit like a slick spanner. Gone green like Bruce Banner. So free Gaza on my banner

21:12-21:51

The real McCoy, I ain’t nothing to toy with, signifying peace like a Japanese Koi Fish. How did this happen, we’re moving backwards in our timeline, killing us with cyanide, Right up for the freedom 'til we transform like Ironhide

This is bout my feelings, the way that I move affects the fate that I’m sealing. Can’t say nothing, with that something being on the page, kept inside the pen like the bars that have been kept caged. See I always had a plan, since I was young, we had nothing man

Now it’s been a few years since I ain’t seen the fam, on foreign lands. Bout to climb Everest in the avalanche. Right into the riddles as soon as you were born. Never asking the question cuz it’s the norm. See I’m in a questionin’ session

21:52-22:03

Like the manner got a method to teaching a lesson, listen to MF Doom, he taught me like Ra’s Al Ghul. Felt like living in Gotham, the people were rotten. Still we play cartoons so it’s never forgotten.

22:03-22:15

Chilling at the top but we came from the bottom. Writing and jottin for them life by, spotting the difference

*Dreams, was growing out of me, sun promising that tomorrow it will rise, time playing games with my mind, I swear it will pass us by

Train goes on the tracks, smoke, I’m tired to hide my thoughts, so blinded in flames, Don’t know where we’re going, I have no way of knowing, only see what’s in my head

Can’t we wait a minute, so we can savour this, It’s on my brain again, these days, It on my brain again these days”

23:10-23:46

They’re hating on Palestine ways, The oh no Palace playing Prince on the Steinway, Sending out mind waves, stop them like crimewaves, Freedom fighter, Yellow Metal is my name

Like vipers, I see the sly ones, the snake that’s called Biden, none of them abiding what they might put in writing

We should be used to it by now, say whatever for the vote and then just choose another route, say they’d never kill another unless that brother’s skin is brown

I’m just telling you the facts, if you can’t take it, the truth naked, to bare bones and my thoughts lately, spitting politics.. Done ain’t it, Shit just gets me vexed, and now I’m sitting that I think of it

23:45-23:59

Feeling on the brink of it, whatever it is, Figure out some shit at least it feels that way

talk about my feelings and I don’t feel so strange, finding solace, that’s a promise, in Metropolis but being honest, can’t write a sonnet, without some pain

24:00-24:40

Can’t fade away, away so we can savour this, been on my brain again these days

Can't find a way to be so you can savour this, been on my brain these days

Singing the song for another, singing a song for another

[overly-b]

Say It Again - JJ Maybank

In which JJ questions if he is deserving of you and your love. 

Warnings: swearing, sad JJ, fluff, awful editing don’t come for me

Word Count: 3.5k(whoops) 

Author's note: this is my first time writing in so long, be gentle with me friends. I know that a lot of people have done similar prompts of JJ feeling undeserving of love and the reader helps him through it, so this is a little bit unoriginal but, this is my take on it. 

Bold italics is a flash back. 

Thank you to @maybe-maybanks​ to the late night inspiration!

not my gif

As you, Kie and Pope approached the yard of the chateau, it became undeniably clear that JJ had gone off the rails with extravagant spending since you had seen him last. 

“What did you do JJ?” Pope questions the boy sitting in the hot tub. Looking at you through his sunglasses, he smirks. 

“I got a jet going straight in my butt right now” He ignores Pope. “Y’all, should get in here immediately, you hear me?” His sentence slurs slightly. “Salud!” He toasts his plastic champagne flute in the air, but opts to take a swig from the bottle in his other hand. 

JJ scans the faces of his three friends, eyes lingering at yours a moment longer than Kie and Popes. 

You see, just days ago, after getting arrested, then beaten by his father, JJ found you, and poured his heart out, to find that you shared his feelings, and the two of you started seeing each other in secret. 

Being that it was a secret, the two of you had yet to put any kind of label on it, but you loved that blonde boy to the ends of the earth, despite what had happened earlier that day. 

“You know what, that's exactly what I’m gonna do. Go off, by myself.”  

You watched as JJ began walking away. Pope attempted to stop him, but Sarah and John B had halted his efforts. You stood silently fuming at the actions of the boy you had such strong feelings for. How could he be doing something like this? This wasn’t the JJ you knew, had been friends with for years, and were now in love with. Though if you were being honest with yourself, you had loved him for years prior. 

“JJ!” You seethed, shaking off John B’s attempts to hold you back from running after him. He was already a good distance away from the group, he probably couldn’t even hear you yelling, so you started speed walking. It soon became apparent that he was simply ignoring you. 

“JJ!” You were merely twenty feet from him, screaming at his back. “JJ stop!” His strides continued. 

“You were real quiet back there princess, finally decide to comment?” You stepped in front of him, shoving his shoulders to force his walk to a stop. “What the fuck Y/N!” 

“What the fuck me? What the fuck you! What has gotten into you right now JJ what are you doing?” 

“Nothing has gotten into me Y/N I’m simply paying back what I owe.” He states, trying to walk past you. 

“By stealing the money from the drug dealer that just jumped us?” Your brows raise as you interrogate him. 

“He jumped us, he has this coming.” He nonchalantly shrugs his shoulders, succeeding in getting past you, as you stand shocked by his words. 

“JJ you and I both know that you’re not that goddamned stupid.” His steps slow, he stands still. “Stealing money from a drug dealer? JJ I know that you owe money because of Pope but this isn’t right! You’re better than this-” 

“Am I?” He turns on his heels to face you again, this time squaring his shoulders to be purposeful in standing tall over you. Him standing over you made you feel small in comparison to the raging blond. “Am I better than this?” He repeats his question. 

“JJ what are you-” 

“Because I’m starting to think that you, and your high standards, and your perfect life, only think that I am better than this because you want me to be better than this.” 

You knew what he was referring to. You were by no means a kook, but your family was financially stable enough to afford a nice house, you had your own car, and if you wanted, you could afford to go to college on the mainland. Your life was unlike most lives on the cut, but JJ knew that your life was far from perfect. 

“What the hell-” 

“And that if we’re gonna be together,  you need me to be better than this so that I can fit in with your life.” You had no idea what he meant. Your life was on the cut, with the Pouges, with him, and the difference of financial well beings of your familys never changed that before, so why was it now? 

“What the fuck JJ stop-” 

“Well you know what Y/N! I’m not better than this, this is who I am! I get into fights, I steal, I have a criminal record, when I get hit, I hit back this is who I am!” 

“We both know that stealing twenty five thousand dollars from a drug dealer is never going to make anything better.” You attempt to reason with him. “This isn’t hitting back this is loading the gun that's already in your face!” 

“Y/N I have to!” He spits. “I know you could never understand being in so much debt but this is my only option.” His words hit you like a punch to the stomach. He looks down to his boots before continuing. “So I’m sorry that I’m not what you pictured as a boyfriend, but this is what I do Y/N. Maybe you trying to fight it means you deserve better than me.” 

And just like that, it was clear that he was more mad with himself then he was with you. However, everything that he said was uncalled for, and nasty, and he had no right. You watch as he storms away, even more tense than before, and you couldn’t help but wonder how this affects your newfound relationship. You blink away the water from your eyes, and do your best to compose yourself as you slowly wander back to your friends. 

“How much did this cost?” Pope asks. Your head was spinning as he listed all of the things that he had purchased since he left you standing in the woods. 

“Uh, well. With the generator, the petrol, and, oh, hey, express delivery,” You knew the answer before he even had time to speak. “Pretty much all of it, yeah.” 

“All of it?” Pope exclaims. 

“Oh my god” You whisper, mostly to yourself, rubbing your forehead with your palm. 

“Yeah all of it.” 

“You spent all the money in one day?” “Yeah burned a hole right through my pocket.” He confidently explains. “But, I mean like come on guys, look at this!”  The tone in his voice told you that he was holding back, it was alway his biggest tell when he would hold back his feelings. “Finest in jet based massage therapy, that's what they told me.” 

The three of you are left speechless. 

“Kie what? Can’t a man have a little luxury in life?” JJ still could not bring himself to look you in the eyes for more than a moment. “Come on, all this scrimping’ and scraping’” you notice his voice falter again. “I mean like, guys, we, you only live once. Right?” JJ finally locks eyes with you, and he reacts spastically, your dreaded look having the gravest effect on him.  

“Y/N, stop, why are you looking at me like that?” He knew full well, but he was trying too hard not to show it. “I know that you’re mad about earlier okay, but, everything is fine now!” His voice was louder now, concealing the breakdown you knew was coming, sooner or later, here with the three of you or somewhere else. “Enough of this emotional shit. Get in the Cat’s Ass come on.” He smiles, waving you to join him. 

“The what?” Kie furrows her brows. 

“The Cat’s Ass.” JJ smugly replies, proud of himself. “That's what I named her. Oh hey yo, I almost forgot,” JJ leans forward, pressing a button that makes water spray across the tub, and even more colorful lights flash in front of him. “Huh! Yeah that's right, disco mode, thats right baby!” His eyes scan yours, noticing that they were clouding with tears. He quickly looks away from you, not wanting to see the damage that he had done, and was still doing. 

“JJ,” Your voice is low and hushed as you blink back tears. 

“Are you kidding me?” Popes harsh voice overpowers yours, cutting off you and your tears. “You could have paid for restitution!” 

“Or literally given it to any charity” Kie fumes at the sight before her. 

“Guys,” You mutter, wanting them to stop being so hard on the broken boy you secretly called yours. You were mad too, if not more than Pope and Kie due to your argument. However, you could see straight through the smug grins and happy fasad that JJ was trying to project. He was hurting, and you knew it wasn’t just about the fight the two of you shared. 

“Or better yet, you could have helped us buy supplies to get the rest of the gold out of the well!” 

“Guys!” You spoke up louder this time, only to be cut off by JJ. 

“Okay well you know I didn’t do that!” As JJ’s swimsuit clad body surfaces from the hot water, you are confronted with what you knew would be there, and the tears pour from your eyes. “I got a hot tub!” JJ shakes in what appears to be anger, but you know it isn't anger he's reeling from. “For my friends,” 

Kie and Pope gape at JJ’s bruised abdomen and instantly connect the dots as to who is responsible. 

“I bought a hot tub for my friends.” He repeats. “You know what, no, you know what, screw friends. I got a hot tub for my family.” 

“JJ what the hell-” Kie gasps.

“I got this for you! Guys look what I did for you! Alright?” JJ spins and gestures to everything he bought. “Look at this!” When he turns back, he finds that you were no longer holding back the tears your eyes once held. 

“Y/N stop being emotional don’t, don’t cry okay? I know that I hurt you before,” His voice fails him as he recalls the words that he said to you. “But I did this for you,” He hangs his head, he knows how bad he fucked up, and it was hitting him all at once that this was not the way that he needed to make things right. This was not the way back to you, and the high of his twenty five thousand dollar spending spree was dissapating at his realisation, and at the sight of you before him. 

“I mean, it’s sweet right?” JJ hadn't even realized that as he began talking, you had climbed into the hot tub. He looks into your eyes for a moment as you stand before him, and lets out a sob as you gently wrap your arms around him. His forehead falls to your shoulder, and  all of his pent up energy released in the form of tears and heaves. 

“I’m sorry. Baby I’m so sorry.” He whimpers to you, only for you to shush him tenderly. Kie and Pope share a confused glance at the nickname. “I couldn’t do it.” You rub his hair and hold him close as he convulses. “I can’t take it anymore!” JJ wails, your tears land on his shoulders, and his tears land on yours. “I was gonna kill him!” 

Kie is next to join you, jumping into the steaming water and embracing the both of you. Pope follows. 

“I just want to do the right thing.” 

“Shh, JJ, I know. I know” You coo him, trying to calm his weeping. 

After minutes of holding him, Kie announces that she has to head home, and Pope offers to drive her. JJ rests in a nearly catatonic state in your arms, no doubt exhausted and knowing JJ, not ready to face the fact that he just broke down in front of his friends. 

The pair leaves bidding reassuring words to JJ, and a few more hugs. 

You are left in the hot tub, holding the blond boy as he clutches onto you. He wasn’t crying anymore, but his breaths were rapid and heavy as he was shaken, the events of the day had caught up to him in the form of you and your tears. He begins to spew soft “I’m sorry”s and other apologises, but his panic makes him stutter and his sentences start to lack direction. 

You shush him and direct the boy to listen to your heartbeat, trying your best to bring his shattered thoughts back to earth. 

“JJ, we should get out of the hottub.” You tell him, to which he simply sniffles and nods, unsure of how to speak to you after the horrible things he said to you, and his inability to form a proper apology. He knew that you were nothing like he had depicted, yet he said what he said, and there was no taking it back. 

His skin was red from the overheated water, and it itched with chlorine, so as the two of you entered the chateau, you started the shower. 

“You should rinse off the chlorine.” You told him, not sure of how to speak to him either. He followed your order and stripped of his bathing suit. You were able to track down clothes for him to sleep in, and as you waltzed back into the bathroom, you decided you couldn’t leave him alone in the shower.  

Taking off your soaked clothes quickly, you slip into the shower to find JJ standing still under the water. You snake your arms around his torso, careful of the bruises pressing your chest to his back. His hands find yours he holds them tight. You place a kiss on his spine, then rest your head where your lips touched. 

“I’m so sorry” He croaked, his voice was tired, worn out from the day. 

“JJ-” 

“No stop Y/N” He turns around to face you, grabbing your face in his hands. “I’m sorry. I should have never said any of those things about you, none of them were true, it's just that, its,” He stumbles on his words. You rub his back to ground him again, he takes a deep breath. “It's just that you do deserve better than me.” 

“JJ please-” He doesn’t let you continue. 

“No you do, Y/N you do. You deserve so much better than me, than this life, than what I can give you. You don’t deserve some, broken kid that's never getting off the cut, you don’t deserve, to, have to watch as I steal money from drug dealers, you don’t deserve any of the shit that I know that I put you through you just, you deserve better, better than someone who doesn’t come close to deserving you.” 

The tears streaming down both of your faces mix with the water coming from the shower and you have no idea how to make his saddening speech stop. 

“JJ” You sob, he pauses. “You deserve so much more, than what your life has given you. You deserve to be happy, you deserve to be loved JJ, you deserve everything that you want, why can’t you see that?” 

And instantly you feel stupid for asking. JJ’s eyes wander and find the bruises littering his body, answering your question. You stifle another sob as your eyes graze his battered skin. 

“Listen to me.” You demand his attention. “You are not worthless.” His eyes divert from yours as he realises what you’re referring to. “JJ look at me,” After a moment or two, his gaze wearily finds yours. “You are not worthless, you are worthy of love, and affection, and someone who takes care of you, and not only are you worthy but you deserve it too. Do you hear me?” 

JJ swallows thickly, nodding in acceptance of your beautiful words. He embraces you tightly, having no words of his own. No one had ever made him feel like this. No one had ever made him feel worthy of the good that was before him. 

He was hesitant to think that he deserved you. To him, no one was good enough to actually deserve you, especially not him. However your speech made him open to the idea that maybe he was at least worthy of your love. 

Your love. 

You both realised in the same moment that the word was shared between you. You had never shared the faithful declaration of love to each other since you had been together romantically, and yet now you had mentioned love twice in the span of thirty seconds. JJ smiled as he held you. You loved him, and this was one of the ways that you showed it. 

“Let's get the chlorine out of your hair J.” 

He let you massage his scalp with the shampoo that he's seen you use before to get pool chemicals out of your hair. He didn’t really know what it did or how it was different from other shampoos but, it smelled like you and he loved getting his head rubbed. His breathing was still shaky, but he finally felt some of his anxiety from the day wearing off. Fighting with you was something he never wanted to do again. Fighting with his dad was something he knew he would have to do the next time he went home. He elected to ignore those thoughts, as your fingers worked magic on his hair, seemingly drawing all of the negative ideas out of his head along with the chlorine. 

As JJ rinsed his hair of soap, he noticed you reaching for the bottle again, no doubt to wash your own hair. He holds out his hand, wordlessly asking if he could wash your hair for you, like you had done for him. This makes you grin as you hand him the bottle. JJ then realises that he doesn’t really know how to do what you did for him. That kind of small, soft, intimate touching was foreign to him. 

He squeezes way too much shampoo into his hand, but you pay that no mind. He starts slow, trying to remember the way your fingers moved on his scalp, but in the end knowing that he just wasn’t good at giving head massages. 

“I used way too much.” He states, watching as suds continue to produce from your locks.  

“It’s okay.” You hum watching the bubbles disappear down the drain. “I set out clothes for you when you’re ready, I’m probably gonna be another minute” You tell him, referring to the other bottles you had in the shower that you still had to use. 

“Okay, thank you” He kisses you as he exits the shower. You finish up quickly, wanting to be next to him, and hoping that his thoughts as he sits alone don’t carry him away like they had before. 

You find that he left his tee shirt for you, like he had on nights before. You wear the shirt that smelled of him along with a pair of comfortable running shorts and head to the spare bedroom of the chateau that JJ called his most nights. 

You spot JJ sitting at the edge of the bed, waiting for you. You slowly and carefully climb onto his lap, straddling him and holding his head close to your chest. You notice anxiety still radiating off of him. 

“Hey,” You start softly. “It’s okay, everythings okay-” 

“I love you” He states bluntly as he picks up his head from your chest. 

“What?” You stumble, surprised at his outburst. 

“I love you, and I want to be with you, like, publically, or whatever. I wanna tell the Pouges and-” before he starts rambling, you stop him. 

“I love you too JJ.” This pauses him. 

“Say it again.” 

You giggle, but inhale, knowing that he needs to hear it. 

“JJ.” You start. “I love you.” 

He lets out a breath you didn’t realize he was holding, eyes watering for the millionth time. 

“I still don’t think that I deserve this.” He admits, looking into your eyes with his crystal clear blue ones. 

“You do.” You push his hair back from his face. “And I’ll spend the rest of my life showing you that you do.” 

He was hesitant to accept everything that you had said to him that day, but he never doubted that you would give him your all. This was all he needed to know before he allowed himself fully over to you, kissing you with more desperation and love than ever before. 

“I love you so much.” You muttered into his lips, and from that day on, you would say it again and again, as many times as he needed to hear it. A constant reminder to him that he was deserving and worthy of good, of love, and of you.

Taglist:  @maybe-maybanks​  @myrandom-fandomlife​

[rebelwrites]

Why Are You Naked? (NSFW)

Jax Teller x Reader

Requested by @melissataggart87

Prompt: “Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”

Warnings: daddy kink, degrading talk, toys

Bored wasn’t the word that would cover what you felt right now. Leaning your head against your fist as you listened to the speaker go on about something, you didn’t have any idea what he was talking about as your mind drifted to your husband.

It didn’t help that he was sending you dick pics and basically sexting you, you felt like a teenager again as you sneakily text him back, getting hornier by the second, all you could think about was wrapping your lips around his thick cock.

All you wanted was this conference to be over for the day so you could go back to your hotel room and get the release you ached for. Even though it would be Jax providing you pleasure it would have to do.

It felt like the hours dragged but you were finally free and no doubt you would have to get the low down of what the old guy was going on about from your work bestie, who knew full well you weren’t paying attention.

Pushing through the sea of people we weren’t stopping for anyone, you had an itch that desperately needed to be scratched, you reached the room in record time, whilst sexting Jax. Maybe you could FaceTime him and you could both get off together, it was something at least. But little did you know he had a surprise waiting for you.

Pushing your hotel room door open, you dropped your bags on the floor, kicking your heels off. You were just about to unzip your skirt when you froze at seeing the duvet move. Someone else’s in your room. Your heart was raising and you were just about to reach for the hun Jax made you carry when the person revealed themselves turning out to be a naked Jax.

“What the” you said in disbelief “is there reason you are naked in my bed?”

“Well that no way to greet your husband is it!” He smiled “I drive all the way up here to spend some time with my wife and the only thing you say is questioning my nakedness”

“I was just surprised that’s all” you giggled reaching behind you pulling the zip down.

You decided you were going to give him a show, so you slipped your heels back on, turning around so he could only see your ass. You started to peel the skirt down at a speed you would know would drive him crazy.

“Darlin’ you are killing me here” Jax said lowly as he palmed his own cock, running his tongue over his bottom lip at the sight of your toned, plump ass just waiting for him to sink his teeth into.

“Oh I know” you smirked letting the skirt pool round your ankles “it’s called payback for sending me the dick pics whilst I was in the conference making so god damn horny I couldn’t think”

Reaching up you unclasped your bra and was now standing there in a pair of red lace pants and your heels, you slowly turned around to face your husband biting down on your bottom lip. His eyes shone with lust as he ran his tongue over his bottom lip.

“Damn my wife is smoking hot” he growled as he jerked himself off.

“And she needs a good fucking” you breathed as you ran your hands down your body before climbing into the bed, crawling on all fours up the bed, so you were now straddling Jax.

“Fuck the foreplay” Jax growled flipping you over in one swift movement, pinning your arms above your head. “I am going to fuck you so hard everyone in this hotel will know how good your husband makes you feel”

Moving one of his hands from your wrist he somehow managed to pull your pants down before he got impatient and tore them off you, discarding the lace on the floor. He slowly ran his finger up your leg until he reached your core making you squirm under his touch.

“Please I need you” you whispered.

Within seconds he was pushing himself into you, a gasp left your lips as you felt him stretch you out, he gave you a moment seen as it had been nearly a week since he had fucked you.

“Fuck babygirl you are so god damn tight” he breathed as he placed kisses across your boobs, taking one of your hardened nipples into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the bud.

He slowly started thrusting as you wrapped your legs around his body, your head falling back in pure pleasure. No one could fuck you the way Jax did. He knew exactly what you liked and how you liked it, each thrust hitting the spot every time. He knew you wanted it rough so a smirk played on his lips as he suddenly pulled out making you pout.

“All fours baby” he growled “you wanted it rough so that’s what you will get, daddy wants to play”

Following his command you crawled to the end of the bed, sticking your ass out giving him a little wiggle. The familiar feeling is his hand connecting with your skin made you moan.

“I would love to see your bosses face if they knew just how much of a cock slut their star employee really is” Jax growled as his fingers tangled themselves into your hair pulling your head back.

“Daddy please” you begged almost sobbing, you were aching for him.

“Please what Slut?” He said as his other hand connected with your ass again “use your fucking words”

“Please fuck me daddy” you moaned “I need to so bad”

“That’s a good girl” he smirked before slamming his cock into your pussy. “You take daddy’s cock so well babygirl”

Jax knew you were getting close not only by the moans but how tight you were squeezing his dick. You didn’t know how much longer you would last as you felt him reach around and press something against your clit. In your lust filled vision you didn’t notice he had for your vibrator out, the very one he had against your clit. You swore your eyes rolled into the back of your head as he turned it onto the fastest setting. Your face was pressed into the mattress and your back was arched as far as it could go.

All your senses were being overstimulated right now and you loved it, your breathing got heavier, your moans got louder.

“Daddy” you screamed “fuck, shit I’m so close”

“That’s it baby girl” Jax panted “I want you to cum on this dick, don’t hold back”

His thrusts became harder, the feeling of him pulling your hair, the vibrator on your clit and the harshness of his thrusts tipped you over the edge, your thighs twitched as you squeezed your eyes closed riding the high out, Jax always managed to cum the second you did, so you always rode your highs out together.

Feeling his hand loosen in your hair, he placed soft kisses down your back whilst you focused on calming your breathing.

“I love you so much” he whispered as he slowly pulled out of you.

“Mmmm” you mumbled looking up at him.

“I’m gonna go run us a bath” he smiled kissing your head “you just focus on getting them legs working again”

“Or you can just carry me” you mumbled, smiling at him.

“Always darlin’”

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[corvixa]

I am alive! Long, rambly post ahead.

So. I did a thing. After 2 or 3 years on a waiting list of therapy, I got it. Good right? Ahuh...

A weekly appointment at 10.30 am is apparently my kryptonite.

It was fine at first, but I got utterly sidelined with the cumulative effect and the fact I wasn't able to reset my energy. But, I was determined like, I'd breakthrough.

Uh. That did not happen. All I could do was attend that appointment. For the first time since I started writing again post house explosion, I couldn't even write. I managed to not some ideas down. Carry on a few plots in my head. Still, even with my insomnia, I was stuck with my facemask on, desperately trying to get enough energy to eat, and occasionally failing even that.

After I had to take a break for a few weeks running for dental appointments and Covid Vaccines, I gained enough energy back to do that look around and reflect thing.

Hell, I might not have been perfect before this, but I enjoyed things. I chatted with friends. I lurked in the Stark Tower discord plotting new ideas. I got to write. I got to do real-world hobbies. I got to spend time awake with my partners!

So, after my vaccine and several days with a very high fever, I kind of decided. Fuck it. This isn't worth it. I have clawed my little part of this world out, and I am not going to lose it.

Sometimes you have to weigh up the cost-benefit analysis. What good may come from these 16 appointments was utterly stopper by the bomb dropped on my life. So I came out of my fever cave of blankets, had an incredibly hot bath and decided this wasn't working.

The early appointment alone was killing me; I am crepuscular by nature. Not being sarcastic there; this is how I have dealt with severe levels of insomnia since age 12. I tried being an average human that wakes up in the morning and goes to bed at night for decades, and it didn't work. I am most active after 11 pm, and I nap during the day. It's not a perfect fix; if it were, the Gold series would literally not exist as that is my Insomnia in a cape. However, sleeping at least once in a 24 hour period nearly every day is THE WIN. Being not awake at 10.30 am, but already at an appointment, where I was expected to be coherent? Weekly? With no variable illnesses? Even the stint in hospital I had was around me making these appointments... Not getting better from fall.

Honestly, I have no idea what past me was thinking, but after they went to 2 or 3 appointments and didn't feel too bad, they committed hard to this course of action. That was a mistake that I thought I had learned a long time ago, that assessing the work-life balance is critical. This might not be work, but it was the same thing.

So, How am I doing? Better. Not aces, but the Covid fever of doom made me miss last weeks appointment. The week before, it was the Covid.2 Jab and today I had the dentist.

And this morning, before my dental appointment, I started writing. My partners were over the moon. I am not back on full capacitor yet, but I am clawing my way back. Heck, I felt alive enough to prat about in the garden as my partner wanted to take a few pics of me given my pairing of BRIGHT TOXIC GREEN tights and lace trousers. I realised I hadn't set foot in the garden since this therapy thing started. My dog, Loki, was bouncing around like a loon bringing me every stashed ball he could find.

If anything gives you clarity, it's the excitement of a collie confronted with man balls, your partner's joy at you starting something you love again and actually feeling like a human being.

Ness is calling the therapy people when she gets the social confidence points required to deal with bombing me out of this whilst being my stalwart wall, so I don't get bullied onto the phone (hello, Hemiplegic Migraine) or guilted back into just trying a few more sessions.

It's not like my therapist was bad. He was cool. He dealt with this ADHD, Autistic, Severe Insomniac, Asexual weirdo and never once questioned any of these identifiers. I just don't have the energy to do anything back to back, week after week, at 10.30 am—even fun things.

So, I am probably going to sleep a lot. I am not back to my previous form yet; my Hubs is saying I made it out of the cave, but I still have Palladium Poisoning because apparently, I have infected his brain to think of things in Iron Man metaphors.

This is a bit all over, but I felt like I wanted to get it down. Especially for anyone worried about my sudden absence.

TLDR, the road to hell is lined with good intentions; sometimes the good thing becomes the bad thing, sometimes you lose yourself trying to do things the right way, and everything ends up wrong. Sometimes the right thing is the thing people see as wrong. All I know is that I wrote something for the first time this morning because of insomnia, and I couldn't be happier. My mind is starting to pick up speed again, this dense dog of confusion, exhaustion and pain is clearing, and I have goals.

Which I think is what really matters, right?

Oh, side note, some things did get done whilst I was busy being a zombie. After nearly 3 decades of waiting, at 33 (yeah, I've wanted to change my name a long ass time.) I got my name changed! So I can sign this off in a way that makes me smile. I dropped my old first name, and took my first middle name as my new forname. (I was, and still am, one of those ginormous name people.) I also went back in history and timestoned my surname. (So, I was named utterly after my dad. Literally, I have the female version of his name >.< but I wanted to keep that connection to my genealogy whilst not having my dads name.) Boom.

Enjoy the earlier mentioned pictures of me pratting about in the garden. I am a photographer. I do not know how to pose. What you are seeing is sarcasm 😅. (If you want to know where the fabulous tights came from, Google Snag Tights. They are truly a miracle and a gift from the Gods. They have actual sizes and don't tear after one wear, even if you are more leg than human. So you stretch and destroy tights by walking.)

- Morgan / M-Mac-C

[tinned-beans]

Avengers AU idea...

The Necromantica: Lead by the Ancient One. She is the founder of the group and has been around to oversee it for centuries. No one knows what her power is, or how she's lived so long.

After a person has had a severe injury leading to their almost death, they sometimes develop unexplained powers relating to necromancy in one way or another. The Necromantica is an underground group dedicated to helping people who have discovered these new powers. They provide therapy for the trauma people have endured, train people in how to use and control their power, and are partnered with the sorcerers at Kamar Taj. The sorcerers teach the necromancers basic magic as self-defence and to give both the subjects and the sorcerers a better understanding of this phenomenon.

Although the Necromantica is a secret group, they often use their powers to protect the people of New York and are low-level enhanced individuals outside the watch of the government. They're based in an abandoned train station hidden by illusions cast by the sorcerers of Kamar Taj.

Characters:

Tony: A poor unsuspecting fool and Stephens roommate after the car crash. He's a graphic designer for a magazine company and frequently asks Stephen to pose as a drawing reference. He could just use Pinterest or even books like a normal person, but at the moment it's his only excuse to stare dreamily at Stephen without being weird.

Stephen: The victim of a car crash about a year ago. He was run off the road by drunk drivers and was near death when he was found. He was rushed to hospital and operated on by Dr. James Rhodes. He made an almost full recovery however his hands were crushed in the dashboard of the car, which resulted in severe nerve damage. They still shake and hurt, meaning Stephen is often on prescription painkillers.

He was found by the Necromantica a few days after he returned home from the hospital. Rhodey, who operated on him, is also part of the Necromantica and so was able to get his records to the group. Bucky came to visit after Stephen discovered his new necro-botanic powers and explained things. Stephen now uses the support of plants wrapped around his hands to regain full control and dexterity with them.

Art for Stephen's power ⏬ (I know I fucked up the left arm)

Dr. James Rhodes: Was in a plane crash which resulted in his near death. Before that, he was a very good surgeon however, after the plane crash he was paralysed from the waist down. After he was released from the hospital he found that a few days later, he could miraculously walk again. Rhodey's power is that he can remove injuries from things and store them up to inflict on people later. Sam came to recruit Rhodey after this. Rhodey has to be very careful about skin to skin contact with anyone because he still has the paralysis stored up: he never found a good reason to use it.

Sam Wilson: A therapist at the local clinic. He used to get the medical records to find out whom to help/recruit to the Necromantica. Now Rhodey helps get the records too. Sam is a veteran and fought in Vietnam. Although he came home with no physical injuries he had extremely bad PTSD and attempted suicide. The gun, however, misfired and his family got him to hospital in time. When he woke up he discovered he had the power to sap the lifespan from others and add it to his own.

James Barnes: One of the Necromantica's 'recruitment officers'. He is the longest-standing member after Sam and was the one who brought in Stephen. He used to be a weapons dealer in Texas however, one of the deal went south and the arms warehouse got blown up with him still in it. His arm had to be amputated, and he now has a cybernetic one designed by Thor. From the explosion Bucky gained to reanimate a person's body for a limited amount of time, no matter how much of them is damaged or missing.

Thor Thomas: the founder of a prestigious technology company and an accomplished engineer. He and his brother Loki are child abuse survivors. They were almost beaten to death by their father, who was in a drunken rage, at a young age. Thor developed the ability to magnify and manipulate the minuscule electric current flowing through organisms, although this often results in their death (it's a delicate process.) This was found out when he was returned to his parents from the hospital. His father made to slap Loki however Thor caught his hand. Sparks erupted and his mother had to pull both children away as Odin stumbled back and hit the floor. Fire burst from under him and the house burnt to the ground before the fire department could arrive.

Loki Thomas: Thor's brother. Can reveal the most likely past and future of a person and sometimes an animal. The prophecy usually centres around their death or that of someone close to them.

Steve Rogers: The Necromantica's other 'recruiting agent'. He was a foot soldier in WW2 when he fell off a train during a raid. He ended up frozen and preserved in the ice until he was found decades later. He's the only know person to wake up and recover from a cryogenic-like process. This is probably due to the power he developed over his time in the ice. Steve can freeze people down to their very core, leaving them soulless zombies. However, he can also reverse this process in not only his own victims but those of mental illness - bring them back in touch with reality and re-animate their will to live. This is why he is one of the group's main therapists who deal with PTSD.

Natasha Romanov: Another member of the Necromantica. She's an ex-KGB spy and was tortured to near death by her employers after she quit. Before this, she suspected something was going to happen to her, so she left clues to her location, which her father unravelled and followed. He got her medical help just in time and she survived after intensive surgery and being comatose for around a week. After that she aware that she could see numbers above people's heads. One was a timer ticking down to their time of death, the other a counter of how many people they'd killed. What she discovered, however, was that the timer could be edited. Someone who had meer seconds before being hit by a car could be saved by her intervening, or even just thinking about increasing the timer. It didn't always work on people with grievous injuries, however, it worked about 90% of the time.

Wanda and Pietro Maximoff: Siblings who were Iraqi exchange students in Washington D.C. After white supremacists bombed a mosque, the building collapsed, nearly suffocating them as they were stuck inside. Both were unconscious when found, but they eventually woke up. Pietro, with the ability to speed up people's lives to their time of death (he can also reverse it); Wanda with the power to operate dead things like puppets.

Li Wei: Was in a train crash in China. Was barely alive when found and needed multiple transplants: he was transferred to a hospital in New York for this. Thor's company is the one who originally developed the surgical technology that saved Li's life. After waking from his coma, Li discovered his ability to move through other people's bodies. It's not a fun experience, but he can also reach in and edit things. He was only a nurse before the crash, however after settling in New York and joining the Necromantica he completed his degree to become a doctor. He's nicknamed Vision by the group and his close friends for his ability to see into another person's body. His power is extremely useful when performing delicate operations and a group of nurses and doctors who work with him know how he does it in case anything goes wrong, and to protect the secret.

Carol Danvers: Flew rescue helicopters to collect soldiers and sometimes civillians from high-risk areas around the world. Was one on the best pilots they had until her chopper was gunned down. She was flying a new and somewhat experimatal helicopter developed by engineering researchers at the time and absorbed a ton of radiation from the engine. She had minor injuries - only a broken arm and severe bruising - but had intense radiation poisoning. Eventually she recovered: mainly due to her power. She can drain the field of life force that radiates from everything living and can store it up to expel in photon blasts.

@salty-ironstrange-shipper @stxphxn-strange @ironstrange-prompts

U probably have no idea who I am, but I like your blogs and thought you might find this cool :)

[xxxvo1d3d-us3rxxx]

crave

i put the cigarette into my mouth and light it,

i take a long, blissful drag.

“god, i haven’t smoked in ages” i thought. “i didn’t know how much i craved it until now.”

i take another inhale to let the smoke into my lungs, wincing at the slight sting, but simultaneously, relief washes over me.

the smoke fills my lungs, traveling around every inch and reaching the corners, my lungs cloud up at the reaction, and so does my mind.

and finally, i breathe out.

the grey cloud travels out of my system and through the cold breeze of the night, mixing into the area around me and fading to nothing.

my vision is blurred, a slight haze around my peripheral sight.

my mind fogs up, like a window on a chilling winters morning.

my brain swims, the high is so intensely pleasurable i could burst into stars.

i lean my head back against the old tree in my back yard and close my eyes, listening to the sounds of the night, cigarette gently held between my index and middle finger.

i hear dogs barking in houses around me, probably communicating in there cute but loud language.

cars speed past my house on the highway as the streetlights flicker and buzz in an attempt to brighten up the road.

leaves on trees brush amongst each other, sounding like the waves of heaven against my ears.

the smoke from my cigarette waves up into my face to say hello, i open my eyes and look down, ash starting to lengthen on the tip of it.

i hover it over the grass beside me and tap the end, grey ash falling from the cig and fleeing to the ground.

i take the cigarette to my mouth and take in another lungful of smoke, not reacting harshly to the cloud seeping it’s way down my throat.

at this point, i didn’t care if i died from smoking, living wasn’t particularly that pleasant anyways. my lungs are cementing up with each drag, but i couldn’t care less.

i felt relaxed, like the world stopped turning in fast motion to let me catch up to it.

but just because i felt at peace, doesn’t mean i felt happy.

i couldn’t feel much of anything really. i am so deprived of emotion. i guess i was hit with so many feelings at once that my brain, in an attempt to defend itself, blocked each and every feeling from being processed and felt.

i could cry, but not when i wanted to. which seemed to be right now.

i had these thoughts so often, but right now in this moment, they were loud and pushing the sides of my skull in an attempt to come out.

i felt something hit my leg, something wet. i looked down and it was a droplet of water. “but it’s not raining?” i thought.

but it wasn’t rain,

they were tears.

i wiped under my eye, and lo and behold, i was crying.

i couldn’t feel it. i never felt myself get misty-eyed or felt the heart wrenching pain in my chest before a breakdown, but i was crying.

i couldn’t feel the salty tears run down my face either, in fact, i couldn’t feel my face at all.

i don’t feel real, i don’t feel like a person, or at least i don’t feel like i’m in control of this body.

i feel like the universe out of all things grabbed my soul, and slid it inside the meat suit of someone i’ve never met a day in my life, and just expected me to try and notice myself in the mirror.

but i didn’t. i know i was staring at my reflection, but it wasn’t me. it never felt like me. i couldn’t see myself in my own eyes.

my own fucking eyes.

i don’t know what to do anymore. pills? tried them. therapy? pfft, that’s useless. drugs and alcohol? i mean it’s temporary, but never a good fix.

my thoughts ran around my mind, screaming at this point. i felt like i could climb out of my head and watch myself explode in panic, but sadly that sweet release of death never appeared. my clouded mind mixed with the anti-depressants i took a few minutes ago didn’t sit right with my stomach, i felt like i was going to hurl. i wish i did. i couldn’t get anything out. more tears ran down my face, me unaware of there presence. i wanted to yell, i wanted to break things, i wanted to kill myself. i kept going over and over with these intrusive thoughts, they’re plaguing my existence. i need to break away from reality. i need to scream. i need to feel again. i need to-

…

i take another drag of my cigarette, ashing it next to me.

i let the smoke into my system one last time, keeping it held in longer than usual, then i released it.

i twisted the cigarette and put it out on the wet, jagged cut grass.

i stood up, almost stumbling to my feet.

i looked around, as if someone was going to hurt me, but no one was here.

i turn my head to the door inside, back to the hellhole i can’t escape.

i sigh.

and headed for the door.

-J.D

[marnie1964]

Karate Kid/Cobra Kai survey

i'm gonna consider myself tagged

It’s the year 2021 and you’re obsessed with The Karate Kid. How are you feeling?: an unexpected turn of events but it's passing the quarantine, i guess!

Did you grow up with TKK or are you new to the series?:  to be completely honest, i don't really like the movies? i didn't vibe with them as a kid and when i went back and tried to watch them this year i couldn't make it all the way through.* i think they're well crafted movies, but i've never liked relatable young boy wish fulfillment (i couldn't even get thru harry potter as a kid), and i think the first one is guilty of burying the lede twice over with regards to mr. miyagi and later the relationship between kreese and johnny. and lucky me--these are exactly the areas that cobra kai delivers on.

*except for the third one, which imo is a camp masterpiece and also genuinely heartbreaking. it's the only one that allows daniel to be an genuine pain in the ass. i think i've finally figured out what the target audience for cobra kai is: people who's favorite karate kid movie was tkk3 (me).

We gotta do the basics. Favorite character: johnny! what is a man but a miserable pile of bruce springsteen lyrics? or aimee mann lyrics? or mountain goats lyrics? or otis redding lyrics? or--fuck, have americans ever written songs about anyone else? i have an unreal amount of good will towards this man and his late-life struggle for recuperation. he's the heart of the show both in terms of his relationships with other characters and in terms of zabka's chemistry with the other actors.

my deep dark double secret fave is kreese. he makes me feel real anger in a way that's usually reserved for characters in vince gilligan shows. i'm a bit obsessed with him and his preoccupation with johnny and later johnny's teenaged son (I Have Thoughts). the show does a great job of making what he did to johnny--and all the years and years and years of fallout from that--feel really real, which makes him one of the most viscerally despicable villains i've ever come across . it's unironically among the best portrayals of domestic abuse i've seen, may god have mercy on our souls. the decision to pop out from behind a fucking cardboard cutout of himself to scare daniel in tkk3 was also a hilarious galaxy brain move. aspirational stuff.

also--shout out to daniel-san. the writers really had to work their asses off to make him into a character that appeals to me, and i think they did a great job of it. he's a cringey tool who's capable of displaying a surprising amount of integrity under the right circumstances! he's tom wambsgans! he's pete campbell! he's wonderful i love him!

Favorite ship:  johnny & daniel (what if mysterious skin was a sports comedy??)

Underrated character: the True and Correct answer to this question can only be aisha, although i don't think she was actually underrated by anyone besides the writers. chozen is also lowkey my favorite katate child because c'mon, he had everything (spear fights! ziplines! teen death matches! formfitting disco-era polyester button down shirts worn with gold chains!)

Underrated ship (don’t say therapy, lol):  uhhhh... the only teen couple that could have been interesting is tory/aisha. they were cute together and their friendship rang true to me. it's that thing where you're the new girl and you're conventionally attractive, but on the inside you know you're a freak so you immediately gravitate towards the most obvious female outsider. i lived it, bay-bey!

i also think there are interesting things to explore with carmen and johnny's relationship. i don't know if the writers are even aware of it (i lean towards no b/c men amirite) but the entire premise of carmen's character is that she chose to live in poverty to protect herself and her son from a bad man with power. she's thereby the exact opposite of johnny's mother, who (at least by his understanding) married hollywood film producer shmarvey shmeinstein to provide her son with a better life. so, there's a lot to unpack in his attraction to her. also they're super hot hur hur i like sexy nurse thing hur hur.

Wax On, Wax Off or Sweep the Leg?: i can't look directly at it, but sweep the leg. zabka what the fuck man.

Which of Daniel’s dumb little outfits is your favorite?:  i don't think i've seen anyone mention this one yet, but the football jersey with the sweatpants. it makes him look so small and huggable, i wanna pick him up and set him on my shelf or something.

Character from the films you most want to return, who’s not Terry Silver: bring back ali's lesbian girl gang!!! or else--dutch. he was funny and iconic, i loved his exaggerated offended reaction to everything daniel said or did in tkk. also, i'm tacky so i'm a sucker for aggressively bleach blonde hair. the SCANDALIZED wasp couple standing behind ali and johnny in the spaghetti scene will also do. or terry's secretary (an mvp--i believe the original actress has passed away so in my heart of hearts she's portrayed by j. smith-cameron).

Scene that lives in your head rent-free: the whole character development speed run that johnny does from sweep the leg to crying while handing daniel the trophy to getting strangled in the parking lot by his beloved teacher. i'm especially transfixed by that last bit--what's the thought process of a man who decides to publicly execute his teenage student via strangulation? why did none of the many bystanders call the police? johnny is the real kitty genovese, prison for everyone.

from the cobra kai series proper: daniel's decision to greet johnny with a big hug after not seeing him for 35 years and never actually being friends with him (I Have Thoughts), the heinously creepy scene where johnny is repeating the cobra kai mantra for miguel and his entire disposition completely changes (demonic possession shit), and johnny's tiny go-ahead-and-kill-my-abuser nod (his face is so stoney after being so animated at dinner) coupled with daniel's shaky little sign of relief (macchio is really the cutest when he looks scared).

it goes without saying that every johnny & miguel scene lives rent free in my HEART.

Will Anthony LaRusso ever be relevant?: anthony becomes relevant for one (1) episode next season when amanda and daniel finally get around to putting him up for adoption.

You live in The Valley and are forced into the karate gang war.  Which dojo do you join?:  i enter the cobra kai dojo decked out in all of my snake-themed clothing and jewelry (it's a lot). i approach kreese and explain to him that the open mouth of a snake, viewed head-on, is a yonic symbol. i am permanently banned from the cobra kai dojo.

(seriously though, assuming i'm a teen in this scenario i think i would have vibed with tory/miguel/aisha. dimitri and sam would have driven high school me up the fucking wall though. the cobra kai style looks like more fun/better exercise. do i also genuinely believe most young girls could actually benefit from someone yelling no mercy down their neck? maybe so 💖)

What’s your training montage song?:  50ft queenie - pj harvey (it takes place in the alison bechdel feminist karate dojo ofc)

It’s the crossover event of the century! Which TV show are you combining with Cobra Kai for an hour-long Saturday night special?: it's a full episode flashback to the time johnny got arrested in albuquerque, new mexico. johnny's court-appointed attorney is a weirdly hot babe who seems like a super straight laced killjoy at first, but soon reveals herself to be an unhinged woman. one thing leads to another, and johnny winds up in bed with her and her loser husband. there are lots of great themes about punitive justice, people's ability to change for the better (and worse), and what makes someone "good" or "bad" to begin with, but mostly it's just really hot sex. the husband tries to sell johnny a prepaid cellphone and johnny tell's him that cellphones are never gonna catch on, cause who want's to be bothered by people all the time like that?

better call saul. it's a better call saul crossover ep.

(fwiw think that greg 'hbo succession' hirsch should also be terry's cousin greg on the non-roy side. think about it--the roys are small people, but cousin greg is really tall?? and who else is really tall, and a blue eyed brunette to boot? terry silver. it all adds up! this never becomes relevant to the plot, in any case, i'm just considering it canon until the writers come to my house and explicitly tell me i'm wrong.)

Tagging: anyone who's interested 😘

[nalgenewhore]

Too Late To Turn Back Now - One

Elide Lochan has been living and working in Doranelle for years. Unknowingly, she let her visa expire and now must leave the country for a year - including losing her position as Crown Counsel. Without thinking, she ropes her associate, Lorcan Salvaterre, into her scheme to let her stay in Doranelle and announces that they are to be wed. As they fumble their way through their new relationship dynamics while visiting Lorcan’s family deep in Doranelle’s northern isles, they must keep up pretenses while their intentions change, all under the watchful eye of the immigration bureau. 

masterlist - ao3 - next chapter 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

Lorcan did not recognize the room he woke up in, his head buried in a frilly pillow. Without moving his head, he quickly scanned the room around him, eyes widening at the amount of stuff the girl had on her dresser and desk.

The bed shifted and he lifted himself up, looking down as the girl next to him rolled onto her back and stretched, the duvet falling from her chest. Heat sparked in his veins and she smiled lazily, reaching up to tug his face down to hers, kissing him slowly. “Morning, baby,” she whispered, running a hand through his hair. “Wow. Your hair’s longer than mine. You should cut it.”

Lorcan shook his head, “Already told you that I can’t.”

“Not even for me?” she pouted and he wished he cared enough to remember her name. Actually, he did not really care. Sighing through his nose, he kissed her one more before glancing at the clock, trying to see if he had enough time this morning to have a little fun.

“Oh, fuck,” he cursed, jumping out of bed, and rooting around the room for his slacks and shirt. His boss was going to kill him.

“Where you going,” the girl whined as he tucked his slightly wrinkled shirt into his pants and buckled his belt.

“I gotta go to work, baby.”

“Well, when am I going to see you again?”

He slowly pulled his hair into a messy bun and rubbed his fingers over his stubbled jaw, “Listen. I don’t really do that type of stuff, you know?” She crossed her arms and drummed her fingers on her upper arm, tilting her head to the side. “Last night was great, but it was kind of more of a one-time thing.”

“Oh.”

“You’re beautiful and fun, but I’m just not in that place right now. I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok. Call me when you are?”

“100%.”

 +*+*+*+*+*+*

There were already two coffee cups waiting at the counter when Lorcan ran into the coffee shop. The barista smiled as he grabbed them, “You’re the best, what do I owe you?”

“Look at the side of your cup and it’s on the house,” she said, winking as she turned to the next customer and he glanced down, seeing her number and name – Chloe – scrawled on the side.

Lorcan smiled and nodded a goodbye as he pushed his way through the door and broke into a near sprint, dreading his boss’ wrath.

Fifteen minutes later, Lorcan calmed his fast-beating heart as he pushed open the pristine glass doors to the offices of the national Prosecution Service. He glanced at his watch and sped up, hoping his boss had missed her alarm and was not in yet.

It seemed as though one of the gods took pity on him and had graced him with extra time this morning. He half-jogged into her corner office and put a coffee on her desk, speeding out to his desk just as his phone buzzed. Lorcan cursed in his mother tongue as he fished out his phone, a text lighting up the screen.

Boss Lady: Cairn’s in five minutes

He internally groaned and texted the office group chat, just two words.

LS: She’s here

The mood dropped as everyone hurried to do what they were supposed to be doing and the doors opened. Elide Lochan walked in, her heels clicking against the floor.

She was dressed in her firing outfit – a black sheath dress that was square at the top, exposing her delicate collarbones and smooth neck, her dark hair pulled up into a sleek ponytail. She wore red-bottomed heels that matched perfectly with the dark blood-red shade of her lipstick, and her purse hung from her elbow.

Everyone scattered as her gaze cut across the cubicles. There was a limp, but after years of physical therapy and the best orthopods money could buy, it was hardly noticeable save for the scar marring the otherwise perfect alabaster skin of her leg.

“Lorcan.”

He handed her her briefing folder and followed her into her office, shutting the door behind him as she dropped her bag in one of the chairs in front of her glass desk and perched herself on the edge of said desk. “The firing dress?” he asked mildly, knowing she would appreciate the remark.

After two years of working for her as her associate, Lorcan knew her better than she knew herself, which is why he knew what type of smile would grace her round lips before they graced Cairn with her presence. True to his word, she grinned a wicked grin, “Do you know how long I’ve been wanting to sack his ass? Losing the Baldor case gives me the perfect opportunity.”

Lorcan cracked a smile as well. He hated Cairn and would be glad to see him go. Losing their biggest case just before the biannual board review was a slip up no one would let go unnoticed. “When do we go?”

Snapping the folder shut, her red acrylics flashing, Elide said, “Now.” Any trace of joking familiarity she revealed when it was just the two of them left her face as she stood up straight and she walked to the door, just a tad of swagger in the way her hips swung with every step.

Elide rapped on Cairn’s door, a false sympathetic tilt to her head. The man looked up, a smarmy grin on his lips he thought she couldn’t tell was a complete farce. Lorcan would’ve pitied him if he didn’t loathe the man. “Well, if it isn’t our fierce leader and her lap dog.”

Chuckling, Elide strolled into his office, stopping before the small window, more than a little smug that she had the corner office, not him. “I’m letting you go, Cairn, darling.”

“You’re what?”

Lorcan watched, highly entertained as he sipped from his coffee, as Elide slowly turned around and spoke to Cairn as though he were a small child, “You’re fired.”

Cairn shot up, his fists planted on his desk. He seethed, near foaming from the mouth, “You can’t fire me.”

“Oh, but I can. You see,” she said, walking in measured steps over to him where she planted her own fists on the desk and leaned over, “losing the Baldor case was just the tip of the iceberg, darling.” Lorcan bristled as Cairn’s eyes dropped down to her cleavage, lingering much too long before he dragged them back up to her eyes, no doubt glittering with that icy rage of hers. “Now, I’m going to be nice and not report you for sexual harassment and give you two months to find a new job. You must think you’re so slick, staring at every twenty-year old law student who walks in here, calling them sweetheart, thinking I can’t feel it when you stare at my tits and my ass. Get a nice long look, because it’s the last time I’ll allow it before I rip your beady little eyes from your skull.”

Without another word, she stood up straight and spun neatly on her toes, walking out of his office with Lorcan on her tail. “What’s he doing,” she whispered, her back straight and head held high.

Lorcan subtly glanced over his shoulder, eyes on the raging man. “Pissed and ready to go. T-Minus five, milady.”

“Oh, Cairn, honey, don’t do it.”

Elide turned to Lorcan, that sadistic smile playing at her mouth before she neutralized her face and waited, almost bored as Cairn came storming out, a finger pointed at her, “You cold-hearted crippled bitch. You can’t fire me!”

The office went dead silent and Elide just surveyed her nails, appraising the deep burgundy colour and sleek coffin shape, “Why are you doing this, Cairn? I gave you a civilized way out of this.”

“You fired me because you’re threatened!”

Lorcan choked on his laugh, way too invested in the scene unfolding. Elide sighed again and smiled icily, “Oh, Cairn. You foolish, foolish man. Nothing about you threatens me. I fired you because you’re entitled and incompetent, not to mention you prey on every girl that comes through these doors. Care to remind the office how much you’ve lost in sexual harassment settlements and how many law clerks you’ve gone through in the past year?” He went beet red up to the roots of his brown hair and she continued, “Hm. That’s what I thought. So, if you know what’s good for you, you’ll get your ass out of this office before Lorcan here forcibly removes you. You have a choice to make here.”

Cairn’s watery blue eyes promised her a painful death but he slowly nodded and Elide clapped, “Oh, goodie. Now, carry on.”

Everyone else suddenly found somewhere else to work as Elide and Lorcan continued back to her office. Once the door was closed, Elide flung herself across the low couch and laughed, “I haven’t had fun like that in ages.”

Lorcan huffed a laugh and read her her schedule, “Your immigration lawyer sent over some things for you to sign and you have a deposition with Lucy at one.”

She sighed, “Push the deposition to three and we need to push for an appeal. I’ll need you here this weekend.”

“I can’t.”

Elide slowly sat up, a brow raised. “And why not?”

“I’m going home for the weekend. It’s my sisters’ birthday.”

“I gave you time off?”

“I can just cancel, it’s fine,” he said, silently cursing her and everything she stood for. First weekend home in two years and she makes me cancel?

“You do that, and push Lucy to three.” She stood and waved her hand, effectively dismissing him. Lorcan nodded and took his leave, sitting down heavily as he punched out his mother’s number.

 +*+*+*+*+*+*

Lorcan knocked on her door and entered after she called him in. She looked distracted as she spun in her chair, her head resting on her fist. Lorcan slowly closed the door and carefully approached her, “Elide?”

“Did you speak to your mother?”

“Yes.” And she told him to quit, once again. “It’s all sorted.” He was supposed to be going up for his twin sisters, Aneha and Sadirah’s sixteenth birthday. He hadn’t been home in the two years he’d been working for Elide and hadn’t seen his family for seven months.

“There’s been a change of plans, Lorcan.”

“And that is…”

Elide breathed out and stood up, beckoning him over to the low-lying couch and matching armchairs that overlooked Doranelle’s magnificent rivers. “I’m in danger of being deported back to Terrasen. My visa expired and I won’t be able to reapply for a year, which I’ll have to spend in Terrasen.”

Lorcan’s eyes widened and he nodded, “Ok, well, you can always work remotely and-“

“I can’t do that, I won’t be able to work for any Doranellian companies so…” she trailed off and bit her thumbnail, refusing to meet his gaze. 

“So?” he prompted, leaning forward, and resting his elbows on his knees.

“I told my boss that we’re getting married.”

“Who?”

“You and me.”

+*+*+*+*+*+*

an: so i hit six hundred followers today (which is kinda wack but go off i guess) and decided to share this lil thing with yall! lemme know if you wanna be tagged 🥺💛

@mythicaitt​ @schmlip-scribble​ @tinywolfofeyllwe​ @the-regal-warrior​ @westofmoon​ @empire-of-wildfire​ @rhysands-highlady​ @city-of-fae​ @shyvioletcat​ @alifletcher2012​ @tangledraysofsunshine​ @ttakeitbacknoww​ @tswaney17​ @ourbooksuniverse​ @flora-and-fae​ @thesirenwashere​ @queenofxhearts​ 

[jenovahh]

The Honey Pot - Ch. 29 - A Love Just as Sweet

“You’re sure you don’t need me to come help? No furniture you need to move?”

“I think you’re just looking for an excuse to ditch work, Ardbert.”

“You’re half right. I’m also looking for an excuse to come see my godchild as well.”

“Your godchild is at home with the babysitter, waiting for me to return from the grocery store.” You can’t help but giggle into the phone at Ardbert’s dramatic groan as you pick up a few rolanberries to put in your shopping cart. “You know you’re more than free to visit, Ardbert.” you grin, even if he cannot see it.

“I know, I know. But it’s hard work now being in charge of an entire luxury chauffeur service now that Varis is gone! I may be the boss, but I have employees to manage. Paychecks to write. Won’t you have pity on your poor friend? Won’t you pay for my ticket to Eorzea?” Ardbert bemoans, and already you can envision his melodramatic flare, unable to stop yourself from snorting at his antics.

“Maybe in a few years I’ll be ready to come back to Kugane.” you murmur softly, rolling an apple around in your hand.

“Always at your own pace, Honey.” Ardbert adds warmly, and it’s times like these you do miss your closest friend. “Even if you feel you can never return, I’ll never fault you for it. I’ll always do my best to come see you.”

You prepare to say something back when your phone beeps in your ear. Pulling it from your face, you see you have an incoming call. “Hey Ardbert, I’ll call back later. I’ve got an important call coming in.”

“No problem, talk to you later, Honey.”

Tapping on the screen, you transfer the call over, bringing your phone to your ear again as you continue to amble around the grocery store. “And what do you want?”

“Is that any way to greet a friend?” Cid scoffs, just as, if not more dramatic than Ardbert.

“It’s a way to greet this friend.” You laugh, nabbing some chips off the shelf. You were getting pretty low on snacks.

“I called to check in on you and also deliver some news. Are you busy?”

“I’m a full time mother, Cid. When am I not busy?” you joke, making your way to the meat department. “After all, my days are filled with diaper changes and games of peekaboo. Exciting stuff.”

“Boring, but peaceful.” Cid supplies, giving out his sage wisdom as usual. “But on a more serious note, is all well?”

Was all well?

It had been a year since your coming to Eorzea, landing yourself a fairly decent sized house in the Gridanian countryside. While off the grid, you were still afforded modern amenities, such as high speed internet and cable TV. Every so often you would have to work your way into the city to run a few errands, just like you are today. You would usually call up one of your trusted neighbors to come over and babysit to put some spare change in their pocket.

You had woken up in the hospital alone, feeling as if you had been hit by a truck while getting ran over by a train, and somehow managed to live. Merlwyb and Cid were the first to barge in your room at news you had woken from your sleep, having feared you would fall into a coma from the damage to your body, or even the damage to your mind.

There was hardly a day that either of them wasn’t at your side, working in shifts almost until Ardbert had even managed to convince them to squeeze in on the rotation. Ardbert’s presence helped break down the walls you had immediately put up upon waking, spending an entire night sobbing into his arms, finally allowing yourself to mourn everything you had lost.

With his help did you get yourself to therapy, Ardbert there with you every step of the way on the road to recovery.

When you reached a point where you felt stable enough to confront all that had happened, you had asked the three of them to tell you what had been going on since that day.

Cid and Merlwyb were quick to hold off the local news of misconstruing facts, Cid telling them to wait until he could get back to his home and compile all the evidence the public needed. The entire city was in an uproar, Varis’ most loyal followers spewing hate and lies to try and convince the public that everything was a ruse and that Cid was the one to cause the explosion at the research facility.

There seemed to be no hope in sight until an unsuspecting witness came to the front.

Gaius of all people had given his testimony, exposing every bit of collusion and dirty deals Varis had a hand in, debunking every lie that Varis had ever spewed, every promise he had intended to break. He had offered himself up for arrest for taking part in Varis’ crimes, even if he had been manipulated into thinking it was for the better of Kugane.

But with Varis gone, and his heir missing, what would happen to Galvus industries?

Cid would receive everything from the corporation, from shares to assets to the building itself. Cid, being the philanthropist he is, decided there was no use of him having so much extra wealth on top of what he already had, and decided to spend the rest of his days giving the money to charities and actually improving the city he now called home.

Said city of course let Lord Hien serve another term. Lord Hien, being an honest man, did not hide his taking part of your operation to stop Varis. With full transparency he informed the public of why he made the decisions he did, assuring them he had not taken out Varis for power, but had kept a tyrant from taking over their country.

When you ask what had become of Elidibus, everyone only stares at you in confusion. You try to describe him to the best of your ability, but all it seems to do is make people more concerned for your mental health by trying to make them remember someone who never existed. Hoping you had not gone off the deep end, it is only when you try to search for him on the internet do you realize his entire existence has been erased.

No notes of him being prime minister of Garlemald, no notes of him having a casual friendship with Vris. As if he had been a figment of your imagination.

Only when you reach for the back of your neck and feel the telltale pulse of your tattoo do you know it wasn’t all a dream.

Taking a deep breath, you finally answer Cid. “I...am well.”

“Good,” Cid breathes, and just hearing his voice makes you yearn for his company. You hope he’ll visit soon. “All good on funds? Need any extra change?”

“Cid, you already wire me nearly 500,000 gil a month; I couldn’t do anything else with more of it.” You grumble as you pick up some chicken breasts and place them in your basket.

“Hey, that money isn’t just for you. I know you want to keep baby Aldynn a secret, but he is still the rightful heir of the Galvus inheritance, and with me in charge of the funds I’ll ensure he gets it. The best time to start saving for college is now,”

“Cid.” you sigh, padding your way to prepare to checkout. Thankfully the lines aren’t too long this time of day. “Aldynn is barely a year old. I don’t have to start thinking about college for another decade and a half.”

“I know, I know…” Cid grumbles, and you can’t help but feel a little bad. Cid really did mean well, being every bit the overprotective uncle you knew he’d be. “I just worry. And I miss you.”

Smiling sadly, you begin to hand your items to the cashier to checkout. “I miss you too, Cid.”

“And better me to call you than Merlwyb, eh? You know we’re practically monitoring her bank account to make sure she hasn’t bought another round trip ticket to Eorzea.” Cid laughs, prompting you to snicker as you hand your payment to the cashier.

“I don’t know what she worries so much for...she really should work through her guilt…” you muse quietly, thanking the cashier as they help load your bags back into your basket.

“She will, in time. Granted, I'm sure the statue they are about to erect of Raubahn down at the police station will reopen some old wounds for a little bit.” Cid laments, both of you silent for a second. “You may be seeing her come over sooner than you’d like. Your statue,”

You stop in place as you glare angrily at the phone glued to the side of your face. “My statue?”

“Shit,” Cid curses under his breath. “Yeah, I fucked that one up. Sorry, Honey.” Cid apologizes, but you’re already fuming as you make your way out to the parking lot.

“I already said I didn’t want a statue! That Chief Raubahn was the only one who deserved it for his sacrifice!” You huff and puff, practically throwing your groceries into your trunk in frustration.

“I know, I know, but you know Merlwyb can be very convincing and very intimidating…” Cid winces as he tries to calm you down. “It’s just going to be a nice little statue in one of the parks, I promise. Merlwyb was prepared to give you an entire fountain--”

“Well thanks for making her show some restraint.” You drone sarcastically, slamming the trunk lid closed. You swear you were going to give that woman a piece of your mind. “Anyway, I appreciate the call Cid. I’m about to drive back home and cook dinner. Gotta send the babysitter on their way.”

“Of course, Honey. Take care.”

The call ends and you pull out of the parking lot, driving your humble car back out of the city. You took to Gridania almost immediately, the climate not too different from Kugane, though the entire country was packed with trees and native flora. You didn’t mind it though, having picked up gardening as a little side hobby as a result. You most likely wouldn’t try and go back into any line of work until baby Aldynn started going to school, which wouldn’t be for a few years yet.

Adjusting to an entirely new life hadn’t been easy, but you needed to just get away from everything. When you were fit to be released from the hospital after the whole ordeal, the outside of the hospital was packed with press, so much so that the only way out of there undetected was with Ardbert’s help since he wasn’t as prominent a figure as Cid or Merlwyb.

You were dodging letters and emails and phone calls every hour of every day it felt like, people badgering you about how you stayed undercover for so long, about how you had saved Merlwyb from being killed alongside Raubahn, about your supposed romance with the heir who had mysteriously gone missing--

It was Lyse and Y’Shtola’s idea that you leave Kugane.

You couldn’t have been any happier to finally reunite with them, the two of them crying their eyes out as they are finally allowed to see you, weeping about how they saw you on the news and how worried they were and for you to never leave their sight again.

You had thought to do just that, but even they could see your mental health continue to deteriorate. You couldn’t even leave your own apartment for fear of being recognized in public, unsure if people would question your “heroic deeds” or ask you things far too personal to answer. It was with their encouragement you got the idea to leave the country and start anew, and what better time to do so when you were halfway through your pregnancy? A pregnancy that against all odds, your unborn child had been just as strong as its parents.

Which, as hard as it was for you to admit, made you wonder if Aldynn would have some kind of freakish strength as he got older. No matter how many doctors checked you, after the sting operation, they said that both mother and baby were the perfect picture of health. While you were overjoyed that you would not have to deal with the trauma of a miscarriage, you can’t steer your mind from darker thoughts that your baby might have been the invincible weapon Varis had been hoping for.

Pulled from your thoughts as your phone rings, you activate the hands free calling, noticing it is your babysitter. “Hello, Zhloe. I know you’re probably eager to get home, I just left the grocery store a little while ago--”

“Oh don’t worry about it! Aldynn is safe with his father!”

Your heart stops.

“Excuse me?” you ask, voice tight but making sure to not lose your cool. While an adult, Zhloe was a very kindhearted, yet unfortunately naive individual. She lived with her younger sister down the road where they ran an animal sanctuary, the two of them orphaned when they were young but maintaining their good hearts regardless.

“Yes! I had left the house a little while ago, but a man knocked on the door. I asked who he was and he told me he was looking for you. I told him very nicely to go away at first because I thought he was a stranger, but when I got a good look at him through the window, I saw he looked just like Aldynn. I asked how he knew you, and he said he was Aldynn’s father.”

Your foot floors the gas before you can stop yourself. You had told her nothing of your past; for all you knew whatever stranger she let in your house could be out for revenge. “Zhloe, I hate to tell you this, but Aldynn’s father,”

“It’s okay, Ms. Honey, I won’t tell anybody! When I asked him questions about you, he answered all of them and that made me sure he wasn’t a stranger. I’ll admit, I had always wondered about Aldynn’s father, but it makes sense he was off in the military like he said. If you guys ever need a date night, just give me a call! He’s so handsome too...you really hit the jackpot!”

“Zhloe, wait--”

“I’m going to get dinner ready for me and Khloe. Have a good night!”

The phone call ends, and you decide not to try and call back to not worry the poor woman. She surely meant well, but you can’t stop your heart from leaping out of your chest as you turn onto the road that has you exit the city and leads to your countryside home.

It’s not possible, you keep telling yourself as you blaze down the street, passing cars like you’re in a street race. Could one of Varis’ old goons have found you, wanting revenge? Would they hold your baby hostage? It’s not possible, it’s not possible--

You’re practically drifting into the driveway of your home, kicking up dirt as you wrench the car to a stop, practically flailing as you kick the car door open. “Aldynn!” You cry. You can see the light on in his room upstairs. Your baby is in danger, he’s in danger--

Shoving the keys into the lock, you fling the door open, running down the entrance hallway and straight into the living room. Your living room is completely empty and you can see nobody in the kitchen or dining area. The house is quiet, not even the sound of your baby crying. Did they already get him? Is he gone--

“I would keep it down,” a voice calls from upstairs, “our son is sleeping.”

It’s not possible.

Halfway near tears, you numbly climb the stairs, afraid of what you might find.

You know that voice.

A single light fills the hallway from Aldynn’s room, and you hear not so much as a whimper from your babe. He knows he is safe, knows he is in no danger.

It’s not possible.

Reaching the doorway, Aldynn’s room is exactly as you left it, and so is your son. Not a hair out of place, his chubby face relaxed and asleep, entirely content in the muscular arms of the man who rocks him gently in his arms. With golden hair like your son’s adorning the man’s shoulders, there is no doubt of who is holding your child.

Blue eyes land upon you, twinkling with mirth. Pouty, pink lips pull into a taunting smile.

“Hello, my love.”

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 28

catch me completely ignoring dark cybertron lmao

yeahhhh so I'm just gonna skip dark cybertron bc no thanks. I did read the tf wiki articles for the issues tho, which is more than I did in the past, so at least now I kinda know what happened, though I had to suffer thru reading about dark cybertron to learn stuff about it. yikes. reading ABOUT dark cybertron further enforced my decision to not actually read thru it

anyways. the best part of dark cybertron was when chromedome threw prowl off that cliff. that was baller lmfao

a 1 page recap of dark cybertron is about all I can handle. thank you

ooh, the 6 months later smash-cut, I fucking love itttt

nautica’s here!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy I love her. also brainstorm, and I love their friendship sm

hvbjdkhfbshdfj god I love them. they have such a fun dynamic 

everyone eavesdropping on a therapy session vhbhdjkhafbhkjsdf. hipaa laws mean nothing as usual 

the casual reveal of captain megatron, oh god 

the title fucking slaps, as usual. this is one of my favorites - ‘world, shut your mouth.’ great stuff, and a song title/reference to boot! and this being part 1: towards peace...chefs kiss

and then we flash back to 6 months earlier...yknow now that I'm rereading this, mtmte has a LOT of framing devices used - there's story-within-a-story, flashback/flash-forwards, storytelling with narration, etc...I love it

god hbvhjakdfbshjkdf rodimus saying ‘magic’ and then the little *magic = science rodimus doesn't understand HBGKJHSDBFKHJSDF my idiot boy ily

rodimus roasting prowl is my fav hbfjdkafshsbjkf ‘maybe the knights can help us find a cure for your personality’ ily sm

and then prowl agreeing w/rodimus a few panels later about megatron’s guilt...

optimus...don't you think that making yourself chief of justice is...maybe a bad idea...like, maybe there's a conflict of interests here...just a little bit of bias...a bit too much history, perhaps...

the fact that all the big roles in the trial were given to high-ranking autobots who were heavily involved in the war...I see that cybertrons justice system is as much of a farce as their medical ethics and patient confidentiality laws 

the ‘you BROKE the MATRIX’ panel is so good bjhkdhfbajskhdf

rodimus: LISTEN dad I just wanna resume my space cruise with my frat bro ship I have no interest in politics

psychiatrists HATE him! local former warlord refuses to recognize the validity of psychological analyzation of people’s actions

ravage casually breaking hipaa laws and chilling in megatron’s therapy session like >:3

I love rung...he’s so good at like, passive-aggressively cutting right to the heart of someone’s issues, and he’s so generally mild that you can’t even really get mad at him 

the sudden inclusion of megatron as a major character in mtmte is kinda jarring at first - mostly, for me at least, due in part because I didn't read dark cybertron so this is like, megatron’s introduction as a relevant character in general - but I feel like jro does a great job laying a lot of intrigue down from the very beginning w/his character - like, I already want to know more about what his whole deal is, even though we have, ostensibly, seen pretty much all of his story play out already 

rung name-dropping froid...i remember that made me lose my shit bc cmon. FROID....jesus christ

rung and megatron: holy shit! we’re suddenly being drawn in a 90s-esque sci-fi tron-looking retro-futuristic style!

interesting that megatron sought rung out, and not the other way around

RIPTIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my favorite sharkboy is HERE

CREWDITIONS...YES....

‘we’re not allowed to take anyone who might remind rodimus of prowl’ vhbhjdkshfbhaskfd brutal

I love nautica so so much. a perfect autistic scientist after my own heart

I adore that nautica brought chromia along for moral support

hgvbjdakhfbhsj and then swerve saying that rodimus hates ‘trisyllabic names’ and nautica is like....but....‘rodimus’.....

and then nightbeat busts in to get all bbc sherlock on they asses hgbfhjadkfbjaskdf

WHY was perceptor at the crewditions if he was already part of the crew lmao

ooof, and then we have megatron flipping out when chromedome, a mnemosurgeon, shows up

also damn the autobots were rlly like okay so we wanna speed this trial up so lets just like, probe megatrons brain, that seems completely ethical, especially when you consider the history of shadowplay and stuff that our previous government had

I know important stuff is happening but megatron is holding a CUBE and I love CUBES so I'm distracted by that. C U B E

and then right after a scene where we see chromedome willing to perform mnemosurgery again - despite rewind’s like, dying wish for him not to - we hear that he’s been locked up in his room rewatching rewinds goodbye message over and over again :( I'm fucking depressed

I love nightbeat, he’s so funny and kind of an asshole

and then you see more missing letters behind them next panel...clearly nightbeat is right and there’s a mystery afoot...OR somebody is fucking with the ship’s lettering as a prank, which is a plot point I would absolutely buy

yeahhhh skids is right, chromedome is clearly Not dealing 

the dramatic graffiti on megatrons door...I wanna know who spray-painted ‘die’ everywhere like they're reaper overwatch

oh god. whirl vs megatron

really cool red lighting tho

GOD its so brutal, all the stuff megatron said about how he told the cons not to kill whirl...and doesn't that end up being false anyways? so he was just saying it to dig at whirl, which is awful

also I'm never over the fact that literally everyone - including megatron and whirl - blames whirl for ‘turning megatron violent,’ as if the entire Point isn't that whirl was a tool for a corrupt system, and if it wasn't whirl it would've just been someone else, and megatron turning away from pacifism was inevitable given the circumstances, AND also a choice on his part, so he really only has himself to blame for his OWN ACTIONS

bye bye whirls right arm, see you in lost light 

‘people never stop changing’ that IS something I say all the time...damn you warlord grandpa! how can you steal my philosophies?!

ohhh man and then rewind’s goodbye message being different....oooh

AUGH the fact that whirl was basically trying to goad megatron into killing him, just like he did in issue 1 w/cyclonus...It Hurts Man

also I do love the hint at who he’s talking to w/whirl shooting megatron with the bow and arrow earlier, and we know that atomizer is a fan of those

ok, but here’s where my philosophy diverges - megatron talks about throwing away his past and starting new, but I think that you have to learn from and build on your past...either way, megatron’s arc is one that I enjoy greatly from a character writing standpoint, and I'm excited to get it underway, especially w/how controversial it is lmao

big ole double-page spread...I like how you can pick out individual characters in the background crowd, which is crazy cause that's a LOT of people. also how come cosmos is so HUGE

phewwww 4.6 billion cybertronians died in the war, that’s INSANE. that's like, an incomprehensibly huge number. is there an estimate for their current population? I bet its not a lot. no wonder jro leaned into reproductive themes so much in mtmte/ll - of course the continuation of your species would be a concern for many if your numbers have been that greatly reduced

optimus w/his fancy tyrest-lookin crown

oughdajbfsbdf and the fact that megatron ALSO murdered 100 BILLION non-cybertronians...bruh. I feel like they maybe should've dialed those numbers back a little to allow his ‘redemption arc’ to run a little smoother lmao. but also I admire the commitment either way

and then we end w/megatron doing captain stuff, and seeing The Coffin...and we never did see rodimus in any of the flash-forward parts of this issue, did we???? I love how concerning that is. where's my BOY

also of course we gotta remember the warning from way back at the beginning of mtmte: ‘don't open the coffin’....

and so begins mtmte s2! man I love s2. I love mtmte in general lmao. s2 takes on the impossible w/the whole ‘megatron redemption arc’ thing, and I know that’s like, a divisive plot point and stuff, but from a writing standpoint I enjoyed it a lot...I think it was pretty much as well done as it could've been given the enormity of the task, and I thought it was a really interesting direction for the story to go in 

also espec if it’s true that hasbro was like ‘hey jro put megatron in your story and give him a redemption arc’ rather than jro like, planning/asking to do it 

anyways. I doubt ill talk much abt the disc horse(tm) here bc this is just for fun and also my own personal opinions and whatever, but I for one am excited to reexperience this stuff 

so yeah s2 off to a strong start with some wild shit already happening! cant wait to read more!