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#i am still really having a hard time keeping up with everything in my life and it means a lot that ya'll will show up
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Would I be the asshole to have a luxurious celibacy party with my (ex) future in law's money instead of a wedding ? 👰👯
Sorry for any grammar mistake, English is not my first language.
My(29F) partner(29M) of 12 years cheated on me. I caught him a few months before the wedding and called everything off.
My ask is more about my in-laws and appearing like a gold digger so I will spend some time explaining my relationship with them. I don't care about what my ex thinks. He is dead to me.
My ex's family is old money, mine is blue collar. His family has always been really nice and welcoming.
Aside from a few family vacations paid for me here and there, I never benefited financially from their wealth. For gift-giving occasions they were tactfully giving me sentimental gifts, so I could return the favor and match with them in term of budget.
His parents wanted to teach their future heir the value of money, and he didn't have access to the family funds during his studies. They were even frugal in his allowance (he obv couldn't qualify for scholarship) and we both had to take jobs during our studies to support ourselves (my scholarships didn't cover for all expenses). I got my diploma before him (shorter studies) and supported him financially during the last three years of his studies. He has had a (very) high earning job and access to family funds for a year.
When he finished his studies, we started to plan for the wedding.
His family wanted an extravagant wedding, I would have preferred a smaller event, my fiance had no opinion. I finally accepted because it made his family so happy, and like I said they have always been very good to me. I even ended up having a lot of fun with my ex MIL and SIL planning for things. I mostly referred to them as what was a "must have" for a wedding even if most of this seemed like a rich people extravagance to me.
The plan was for us (me and cheater) to pay 50% of the wedding. My parents were paying for 5% (I wouldn't dare tell them how much the whole thing was worth but they insisted to contributing). My IL were paying for the other 45%. I wanted to pay more, but my FIL told me that I let them have their way with the guest list and as such more than half of the guests were strictly theirs so it made sense that they were paying for them.
Then I caught him…
Obviously, no wedding will be happening but it's too late to cancel most stuff : venue, food, guest accommodation, dress, musicians, horses (yes. Horses. Rich people I swear).
My in-laws told me they are taking full responsibility for their son's cheating and will pay the whole wedding themselves. My ex SIL, who is also my best friend told me in confidence that they plan to make my ex reimburse them every penny.
I asked my MIL if I could keep the venue and organize a smaller event with my closest friends. She agreed.
I am calling it a celibacy party but the truth is I am devastated by what's happening. Full blown panick attack and crying myself to sleep…
I want a nice day outside with my friends and their children having fun. My family was overjoyed to finally have a joyfull family reunion for once, and I wanted to keep that. My niece (SIL's daughter whose I am the godmother of) plans to color my glorious useless white wedding dress with finger paints.
I suggested to my IL to come during the day event as our family has been blended long before we decided to make it official. My IL politely refused which yeah I understand. I didn't expected them to come, it was more to suggest them subtlety that I still want they in my life and I don't consider them responsible for their son's cheating.
Maybe the night event will be less kid friendly and I do intend to party hard in case it could make me forget the last twelve years of my life with my ex. There will be single men (close friends and family), and a lot of alcohol obviously but I don't see myself hooking up with anyone I would have previously invited TO MY OWN WEDDING. There will also be my previous ex, that I dated when we were 12 and who while celibate, is fully homosexual.
My ex learned about the plan and called me furious. He called me names (I don't care about the names a cheater calls me), but he said that it was a slap in the face of his parents and it makes me look like a gold digger. He also said that people will talk and my in-laws would look like fools among their guests when they will learn what happened in place of a wedding.
It makes me second guess myself. I asked again my in-laws and they told me that the event was mine, I could marry someone else at this venue and they couldn't blame me. I pressed again my SIL for her parents' true opinion (After all this time I struggle to understand rich people speak) : she admitted that they do think it's a bit in poor taste (That's the worst insult in rich people language) but my SIL told me it's still in better taste than putting your dick in some luxury sex-worker without condom a few months before your wedding (ex might have a love child with Another woman. It's a full shitshow but it's not mine anymore)
I am certain most people will call me NTA, as my ex SIL did, but I wonder if older people from richer backgrounds (and who are not my best friend) would agree… I do love my ex IL and I don't know how I will manage it but I want to keep them in my life and would cancel this stupid breakup party in a blink if I have to. I am not sure if tumblr has a lot of people fluent in old-fashioned old-money tradition, but it's still worth a shot. I am at still undecided about the whole thing and might change my opinion 13 times till this ask is published…
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breedtheseed · 17 hours
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So I got this idea that I don’t think I’ll be able to finish but here is the brief description and the first chapter
Imagine Adam dies right but the trauma of how he died and his whole like keep him from remembering everything in his life so he is turned into Eden Adam who hasn’t experienced heart ache
So Lucifer locks away his memories after seeing them first hand, he wants to start over with Adam.
Sometime later he tells Adam he’s the reason Adam died because Charlie told him he had to it wasn’t right to keep lying to Adam and when Lucifer tells Adam.
Adam is too in love to care and hugs Lucifer holding him tight as he says “I don’t care I still want to be with you” (I was watching Hotel Transylvania) but Lucifer hugs him one last time before snapping all of Adam’s memories back for Adam
Chapter 1 (I still want to be with you)
“Luci?” Lucifer froze as he heard the voice, he quickly turned and say Adam. A gasp left his lungs as he was quickly embraced by the taller man, but something was different. The devil frowned as he slowly accepted the hug, he had just beat the shit out of Adam and watched the angel die how the fuck was the man even standing. Lucifer pulled away, pushing Adam away by his shoulders and looking up at the guy. The devil's eyes grew wide as he took in the man’s appearance, he wasn’t a demon but he didn’t look like his angel form either. He didn’t have his beautiful gold eyes anymore and he was smiling sweetly, almost longingly it made something stur uncomfortably in the kings stomach.
“Adam? Wait, you aren’t supposed to be here?” The devil said as he examined the person in front of him, his outfit was the same with angelic blood stains everywhere and yet Adam didn’t seem bothered.
“What are you doing?” Adam giggled while Lucifer turned him around, “wow what is this place? It looks awesome.” Adam cheered as he quickly walked away towards the hotel, Lucifer may have panicked when he saw Adam was heading towards the hotel. Quickly sprouting his wings and forcefully picking Adam up, maybe a little too hard because Adam yelped in pain.
“Sorry,” Lucifer said as he fixed how he held the man, getting a better look at Adam he really did seem different. It felt familiar.
“What’s wrong?” Adam asked with concern as he let the fallen Angel hold him like a bride.
“This is wrong Adam you died,” Lucifer said, he had meant for it to be flat but there was a ping of sadness to it. “Do you remember anything?” Lucifer questioned as he gently set the man down. Adam held his chin and bit his lip while he thought, it was something Lucifer remembered the man would do back in Eden.
“Well I remember me and Lilith had a big fight. Is that something?” Well it was something that’s for sure, Lucifer did a quick scan of everything around them before opening a portal to his mansion.
“Yeah that is something come, follow me I need to check something” Lucifer said as he held out his hand, Adam was quick to take it and followed the king into the portal before it closed behind them. Adam scanned everything awe painted his face as he pulled Lucifer around the devils room. Despite the situation watching Adam look so amazed by everything made the devils heart flutter a bit. However Lucifer shook his head out of his thoughts and brought the man to the bed.
“Wow Luci I didn’t notice how pretty your eyes are” the comment made a blush form onto Lucifer’s pale cheeks.
“Thanks I always preferred your beautiful brown ones if I am being honest,” Lucifer gave a soft smile to Adam, he took note of how the other blushed and fidgeted. He really did look like he didn’t remember the last nine thousand years. “Anyways hold my hands,” Lucifer requested, he was hoping to see if he could access Adam’s memories, maybe even restore some if he could.
“Ok,” Adam said happily holding Lucifer’s hands waiting patiently for further instructions.
“Good now close your eyes and relax I’m going to test something,” Adam nodded and did as he was told, Lucifer then followed and allowed his consciousness to inhabit Adam’s mind. Sure enough Lucifer found some bits and pieces of Adam’s whole life both Heaven and earth.
Lots of emotions flowed through the devil as he rewatched Adam’s whole life, felt how the man was feeling. His joy of meeting Lucifer for the first time, the love he had felt when Lucifer made love to him in the garden, even the horrible sorrow Adam felt when Lucifer left him. It took everything for Lucifer to continue to watch how Adam broke and reformed into something harder something that kept him from breaking again. He watched as the first man lost more and more of himself, trying to run away from the pain he felt so long ago. Lucifer frowned when he got to the emotions the man felt during the fight, there were so many and above all there was heartbreak. The first man’s heart was breaking each time Lucifer poked at him each time he touched him, punched him. Till eventually he felt nothing, till everything was shrouded in black.
Lucifer sighed and mentally scratched his neck as he looked at memories, he could make them all disappear if he wanted. Let himself indulge in the Adam he had fallen for years ago, maybe even fix his mistakes. Fuck It, Lucifer thought as he snapped his fingers and locked Adam’s memories behind a angelic mind barrier. It was all he could think of before leaving Adam’s mind and returning back to himself. When he opened his eyes and looked down at Adam, the man was slightly snoring while sitting up. He must have been so tired.
Lucifer let out a sigh as he picked Adam up once more and placed him laying down in the bed, snapping his fingers he gave Adam a set of pajamas.
“What am I going to do,” the king groaned as he walked into the hallway, as if on que he got a call from Charlie. “Yes my little girl,” Lucifer tried to put his mask up as best he could.
“Where did you go?” Charlie questioned on the other side.
“Something came up, I’ll tell you about it tomorrow and let’s just say it’s something I can’t say over the phone.”
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polyamzeal · 11 hours
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My first polyamorous relationship recently came to an end and I'm still reeling from it, I guess I'm wondering if you have any sage wisdom to throw into this whirlwind ?
I started seeing this guy while he was on and off with his life partner of four years, until they broke up for the 'sixth and final time'. We had a talk at this point and clarified that neither of us were looking to fill that primary partner gap for the time being and I was aware he would be healing for a time, but we both stated that we were invested in our relationship, saw it as something good and healthy, and that we wanted to put work in to continue making it as good as possible. Things were really great for almost a month after that and his ex well and truly seemed out of the picture to the both of us.
Then suddenly one day his ex decided she wanted to get back together monogamously (after four years of polyamory) and he immediately informed me that was just - happening.
Our relationship only lasted four months and he loves her and thinks this is the only way to still be able to spend his life with her, and has belief in this choice because she broke off a two year relationship for this, but I feel like this is really terrible. He seemed committed to polyamory as long as I've known him and never mentioned any hopes otherwise, and the decision was made really suddenly. I got incredibly upset with him and cut him out of my life and now I'm in the stage of trying to puzzle over how much of this situation is morally bad on his part and how much is just really unfortunate circumstance? I don't really know how to react to this, just heartbroken and confused! Any words are helpful 😅
First off, that really sucks! I am really sorry you went through that and I hope you have been healing well.
When I first became polyamorous I had this very naive idea in the back of my head that all my future relationships would last forever. I would just keeping adding more partners since nobody had a reason to breakup if cheating and other people wasn't going to break up relationships. Obviously that was foolish! But after those first few polyam breakups I really appreciated the new perspective on breakups I had formed over time. In monogamy, a breakup is almost always seen as a "failure" because the goal was to spend forever together monogamously. For me at least with polyamory it felt easier to see a relationship as "Good for the time when it needed to be and over when it was no longer needed." I became much better at being grateful for the good memories and everything I learned about myself from that relationship without only focusing on the bad of why it didn't work out.
Change is hard. It always is for everyone. But I do feel like with polyamory we are a little more accepting to people and relationships naturally changing over time. That we go through 'eras' in our life and so little in life is actually eternal. I hope you take the good parts of that relationship with you into future relationships and now you are better prepared to handle similar bad aspects of the relationship. I wish you good luck.
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lowspoonsfood · 3 months
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Hey, I’m the person having my teeth pulled (I didn’t actually mean to hit the anon button, hand tremors got me again lol) and I just want to thank everyone that’s sent in so many suggestions so quickly. It’s more than a little daunting, having to go months without even dentures, and all the ideas have been super reassuring. You’re all very lovely person!
💓💓💓
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possiblytracker · 7 months
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coughs loudly. scheduling this post for slightly later today so i have time to get lunch and not chicken out before it goes up
firstly i gotta apologise for dropping off the face of the earth. in hindsight it was creeping up on me for a long time I just didn't think anything of it/had enough stuff going on to ignore it for a while, but ive been wrestling with pretty abysmal mental health that just kinda hit me like a truck back in august. i wont get too much into it but things just ground to a halt and in the span of a week or so it legitimately felt like i stopped being a Person- i just stagnated, felt like i lost the ability and will to do anything or enjoy things or create like i used to, all my energy went into keeping it together in front of my family, and it made me way too anxious and ashamed and guilty to want to show my face. like who would want to put up with my stupid bullshit, right (wrong! that idea just made me unbelievably worse and i regret it extremely, but my anxiety was going extremely unchecked at this time). i don't think i've ever been that depressed before and i didn't at all know how to handle it or begin to claw my way out
fortunately, a combination of getting exercise + touching grass regularly and new enrichment/hyperfixations to latch onto like an orphaned duckling are very recently kicking some life back into me so to speak. who wouldve thought. and now where i used to still feel stomach-turning dread and paranoia thinking about getting back on tumblr and discord a week or two ago, it finally feels like i can handle dipping my toes back in. i'm making this post first bc i know most of my friends will see it, and that feels less taxing than explaining myself a bunch of different times over and over and dragging it out, but ofc i will try and get back into conversation when and as i can (askbox and discord is still best to reach me if you wanted). i'm just really sorry, and I hope you can forgive me, for making you worry or otherwise
i'm not sure what to do from here (i'm considering maybe moving main blogs to a clean slate eventually? this one will still be here i couldnt bear to get rid of it, i've just had it since i was 16 there's Baggage attached) but i'll be trying to ease my way back into relative normalcy before doing anything big ofc. in the meantime i will be vaguely floating around here again. see you around and thank you for your time..
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beomgyutruther · 3 months
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#snapped at my mom because im stressed about my preboard results and then i apologized and explained that i was rly stressed and accidentally#lashed out and she started saying that im always rude to her and taking my stress out on her ??? and that i never do this to my dad#and then she said i never talk to her about anything even though she's the only one who does everything for me yet i still dont talk to her#and well. maybe if she didnt tell my brother 'if u do this u will end up like ur sister in the future. u dont want to fail in life right ?#then dont do this' (nearly exact words) when she was scolding him . i mean maybe then i would actually want to talk to her#and it sucks because i cant rly talk to anyone irl about this because i still feel scared that they'll like. judge my mom#because i still love her a lot and dont want people to think badly about her#but its getting harder ! to exist here ! and the fact that i am constantly used as an example of what my brother should NOT be#especially when i work this hard partly because i want to be someone my brother can look up to#and to have that come from my own mother . it's really hurtful and makes me feel like nothing i ever do will be enough for her#not to mention the fact that i have come out to her 4 times and she still constantly asks me if it's just a phase#<- i thought that part was getting better but apparently not#but i've stopped expecting anything from anyone in that respect so it doesn't really come as a surprise lmao#anyway rant over i just needed to get that off my chest because i really dont know how long i can keep crying and then forcing my voice#to be normal so that no one asks what happened because wow it is taking a toll on me! who knew#do noooot perceive this
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bubblegumbeyotch · 1 year
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#spent some time with ***** yesterday#god…. this would be a lot easier if he was just a totally unrepentant asshole and i could just cut him off completely#because it’s so fucking hard to get over someone when you still see all of the little things that you loved about them#we had a really good time together yesterday and it almost reminded me of old times before any of this stupid shit even happened#i had to keep stopping myself from holding his hand or touching him excessively but it just feels so unnatural it’s so hard#he also always compliments me when he sees me which is really sweet but ugh#like yesterday we took a picture together and after he was like#’you have such a beautiful smile’#and that was sweet right but also made it feel like my heart was collapsing in on itself#and we hugged for a looooooong time and i think we both know it’s because we still have so much attraction for each other leftover#and this is kind of the only way we can express it without fucking up the boundaries we already set#but jesus it’s hard#like god it’s so hard to be around him because i feel like i have to be cold and distant because otherwise this happens#like despite everything i can’t help how much i still love him#and that’s why i can’t talk about it because it feels like everyone expects me to hate him and want nothing to do with him#when the real issue is that yes i am still very mad at him but i wouldn’t be nearly as mad if i didn’t love him#in conclusion: fuck this stupid baka life#personal
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sometimes lifes is cruel to you for no fucking greater meaning but u still have to go through it and just endure
#im tired of enduring and living through it and having to live with everything on my back.#i know theres a way out but it requires patience and im so so fucking tired of being patient and waiting till this ends#everyday is like walking myself to hell and back. and i know where my steps lead me but i still have to carry myself through a nightmare#im tired of being hangover with yesterdays sorrows and screaming and constant and so much pain it makes me want to simply end it all#im tired of having to remind myself of my worth of my future of the things i know im capable of just to not do it.#im tired of always having to remind myself that there will be a time in the future when all these years will only be a footnote.#something small and unimportant in the grand scheme of things. something i just had to go through but no longer have to.#each time i have to remind myself that i WILL grow old. not in spite but for myself. that i will grow to be older than all these moments#this will not keep me back. i am afraid because i can tell NOW how much it actually does.#but once im out of this situation ill really be free. nothing will keep me back. but secretely i know therell be so many things that bind#me to this place. not negative ones. the negatives are the reasons i want out but what about the people#that im going to leave behind? what about my dog whos been my motivation and my everything in the hardest of times?#leaving is cruel but staying would kill me#i hate my life so hard. life is beautiful but mine sucks so bad lol.#it really was beginning to lighten up a little bit but then it all fell down lol#i know that the more time goes on ill stop caring and just continue but right now i cant stop thinking about all the pain
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pepprs · 2 years
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the way i am going to need to be tranquilized and sedated to get through tomorrow. god fucking help me
#purrs#particularly from like 1:30-3:30 specifically. i do not know how i will be able to get work done. i do not know how i am going to be able to#not fucking die. i really feel like i am going to pass out. i can’t do this i really truly genuinely cannot#every time i remember. like just… there are implications of this i have not even THOUGHT OF yet. that haven’t even crossed my MIND that are#still so engrained in my life and way of thinkjng and being. and i don’t know ifim gonna make her uncomfortable or panicked or guilty by#sobbing my eyes out not to mention other people witnessing that but there is NO WAY im gonna be able to not sob hysterically. this is#legitimatelt one of the most painful things that has ever happened to me in my whole life which says something about how much pain i have#experienced as a human being and how ridiculous it is that im freaking out over this LOL. but ummmmmm. this is……. this is so bad. i think#everything after tomorrow will be very hard (because i’ll miss her terribly) but it’ll be okay because it’s like this is the reality and now#we have to just like move forward and yeah im gonna have breakdowns on here abt how i feel like we aren’t properly grieving it or whatever a#and how i want time to like cope with it and not keep movi ng at 38472974mph WHILEALSO trying to not convey panic. but it’s been this#excruciating mindfuck of a situation bc she’s still HERE. STILL USING THE ‘WE’ THE DAY BEFORE SHE LEAVES! LIKE WHAT IS GOING ONBNNN THE COGN#COGNITIVE FUCKING DISSONANCE OF IT ALL!!!!! and like seeing her and having her stuff still around and whatever is um. it’s bad. it’s really#making it hard for me to accept that this is happening. so tomorrow is it then and we will drag ourselves through it and i swear to god i#will be hysterically crying. maybe even as i walk in and see her there knowing it’s the last time. LOL. like how do i not…. omgggggggg 😍😍😍😍😍#this is so so so bad. why is this happening. not only is it embarrassing and humiliating but it’s like girl thisis an office this is work it#it’s really not that big a deal. BUT IT IS. TO US. TO ME. WHY IS SHE DOING THIS? i am about to punch the WALL. but nothing will help or make#it better until time passes or if she randomly decides not to do it. idk .i just can’t believe it. im so angry and sad and hurt and scared.#tomorrow will straight up kill me. it really actually seriously will. i don’t know how im gonna get through it. LOL#delete later
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tirednapentity · 1 year
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I dunno man, maybe I’m just sick and tired of realizing how royally fucked I am in every aspect of my life and how badly I need to turn things around without actually knowing how to, while also constantly doubting myself. Or maybe I just haven’t slept in a while. Who knows.
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cinnamon-notes · 7 days
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leaving the apartment where i lived with my ex turned out to be more painful than her leaving the apartment where we lived together
#i keep unconsciously forgetting stuff there that will have me go back there just one more time and somehow it's so hard and soooo painful#tried to talk to my mom about this but that era of my life is actually something she cant bring herself to reminisce at all#i could really use a talk with my mom abt this but i dont wanna force a subject on her especially if its something i know she cant talk abt#it was the darkest era of my life and we had that phase lorelai and rory went through when rory dropped out of yale#and i have to thank GG because it made me realize in how much pain my mom must've been at seeing her gifted elder daughter become her worse#self and literally waste everything she was and had and knew. which also helped me realize why she isn't that happy when i mention that time#we went through. cant blame her. i literally threw away two years of my life and all the beautiful people ive been up to that time.#but still- i really need to talk to her about this. because it was indeed painful to walk around an apartment newly emptier and not be able#to be eaten out alive by all the spots of that apt where some things happened or some things were said or some things were seen. it was. it#was extremely painful. it hurt so fucking much. but leaving those spots omg- being willing to never spot them again. being willing to lose#the memory of them. forever. wow- it's a completely different level of pain. it just hurts differently. because i know it's time and i know#it's been time for a very VERY long time. and i know this is literally all it takes for me to be more free from the thought of my ex. i know#it's more than necessary and i know it's the right thing. it still hurts. cuz it's all damn over. and i let it pass without ever actively#process it. because to process it was too painful. and i will heal silently. away from here. alone. with a few true friends. i know i will.#it still hurts cuz like- you can know you made the right decision ans you can still grieve and hurt. so yeah im ceying bye i need my mom and#i need to process many things and im way too traumatized and i probably wont have any other romantic/platonic/sexual relationship for many#many years. and i probably wont have that many friends for a little while. and its okay. its time to settle a little bit steadier than i am.#always remembering im not a tree and im actually allowed to move whenever and wherever i wish. but i need more stability right now. i need#to learn how to love myself without becoming cynical. and im almost there. i know i am. i can feel it. and i feel this steadiness for it to#final.#cinnamon diary#sorry about the rant im just in desperate need to cry and hurt
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hecksupremechips · 2 months
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Posts about bpd need to stop being so damn relatable to me 🤨
#listen im not saying i must have bpd cuz of a bunch of relatable tumblr posts dont clutch your pearls on me#but hm im starting to get suspicious ajsjk#just been spending these past few months really digging into my deeply repressed memories and emotions and i keep discovering more and more#fucked up shit lol like first its being forced to acknowledge that i have a bit more than some ‘minor trauma’#and that ive actually just been like horribly abused like. my entire life and still am 😟#then it was like really trying to think about myself and what ive done to cope with abuse and like ive constructed an entire person#to just live as whenever im in the abusive situations and when i was removed from the situation for the first time ever#i had like a huge crash a huge crisis i both functioned way better than everyone said i would like suspiciously better#but also way worse at the same time#i could handle all the responsibilities of living alone i never once felt scared or homesick i was clean i was efficient i used money wisely#but i also felt like i was dying and i couldnt function when my persona dropped#cuz i didnt need to be that person anymore i could finally be me but then like. who even is me ive never gotten to find out#i dont know basic ways to behave i still have no clue how to exist or what i truly want vs what i pretended to want#its all completely muddled and its hard to explain that i cant tell whats genuine with me and whats fake#cuz ive been forced to live the fake shit my entire life you know? ive had to and i had to accept it#ive never gotten to make any of my own actual decisions and at the same time i have to decide everything for everyone else#im the parent of my parents but never was the child and the child is still there asking for attention but no one is there#then you know i had to return to the abuse and so its like i did get to taste freedom but not for long and i spent all my time in that#crisis mode so it wasnt exactly a fun filled time but being back here is much worse than before cuz now i know whats happening#and how i have to perform and its like how do i discover anything about myself in this kinda environment and no one understands the turmoil#the reason why something simple like wearing different shoes is so impossible for me#its just a horrible environment to be in i am in hell constantly ive no clue whats happening and im very obsessive over everything#aaaaghhhhhhh help girl help lol
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thexsilentxwordsmith · 5 months
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Tumblr media Tumblr media
Simon "Ghost" Riley x Fem!Reader
Simon making it clear that you are the only one he wants
“You alright, sweetheart?” Simon’s deep, gruff voice hit your ears, pulling your out of your thoughts. 
You nodded without a sound, subtly trying to divert your gaze so that he wouldn’t look into your eyes and see all the emotion swimming inside, but at this point you really didn’t need to answer the question. The way you sit across from him with your brow furrowed into two steep peaks and your shoulders slumped forward and tight as you idly picked at the skin around your fingernails was enough of a sign. Even though you tried to dismiss him with a few muttered “I’m fine” and “It’s nothing” phrases, the man knew; whatever it was had been eating away at you for some time. 
Turning his full attention to you he took your chin into his coarse grasp and tilted your head upward until your eyes met. “Then why can’t ya even look at me?” he posed his next question. 
You let out a sigh, nowhere to run now as Simon wasn’t gonna let you back out. “It’s just…silly...” 
An incident had been on your mind for a week now, something that should have been resolved already, but try as you might to let it go it just couldn’t be shaken. A new younger female recruit had got it into her head that she wanted a piece of the huge, mysterious Lieutenant and began to flaunt that young, supple body in his direction. Simon had not allowed it to continue for even a second after that initial encounter, making sure that you knew everything in detail, and immediately she was reprimanded and reassigned, but the damage had been done to your confidence.
Were you really right for him? Were you enough? You had never really thought of yourself as ugly, but when pitted up against some pretty thing that had the freshness of young beauty on her side, you weren’t so sure if you could really compare and that made your usual abundance of self-confidence drop to nearly zero. 
Amber eyes gazed back at you as Simon waited patiently for your reply. Taking a deep, calming breath you continued. “I guess I just can’t help but wonder if you made the right choice,” you said.
“And what choice is that, hmm?” he pushed, letting you use your words even though he was sure where this was headed.
“Choosing me,” you said so softly it was barely above a whisper.
Just as he suspected, it was still bothering you and he kicked himself for not doing more before now to show you that there was no one on base or even in the whole fucking world that could compare to what he had with you. There was no one up until now that had ever kept him so tightly wound as you did that he constantly felt like he couldn't get you out of his head, that he never could get enough of you; it was a constant struggle just to keep sane so that he could do his job when he knew what would be waiting for him when he got home.
That’s why it took nothing for him to know exactly what it was that he needed to do now.
Without a word the grip on your chin was released as Simon stood to his feet. He reached down and took a hold of your hand, giving it a good, solid tug. “Come on,” he beckoned with a nod of his head to stand with him and through a bit of stubborn reluctance, you followed.
As soon as you were on your feet he pulled you into his hard, warm chest, leaning his head in close until you could feel his breath against your lips. “Of all the fuckin' mistakes I've made in my life, ya ain't one of 'em. I think someone needs a bit of extra attention, and I was a fuckin' fool waitin' till now to give it to her,” he murmured, his voice lowering into that register that always sent shivers down your spine. “Let me take care of ya, let me turn that brain of yours off for a bit and show ya how sure I am that I made the right choice.”
Before you could answer, his lips had already connected with your own to steal the words right out of your mouth. If there was one thing that experienced military man was superior at it was making you come apart at the seams like it was his fucking job. And boy did he take pride in his work.
But right here and now he would be even more meticulous in his affections as it was clear you needed to be reminded that you and only you were the best goddamn thing to grace his miserable existence. All of his undivided attention would be yours tonight and he would not stop until every single worry had left that pretty little head.
Promises were breathed into your mouth by him. "I'm not stoppin' until ya know just how fuckin' much I don't want anyone else besides ya."
In a flurry of lips and tangled limbs, you found your way over to the bed. Like a surgeon performing a delicate operation, he carefully removed each article of your clothing one by one, making sure that the exposed skin was immediately caressed and attended to before he moved on to the next. Every inch of skin on you would feel the passion in his embrace. By the time you hit the mattress’ surface, your body was already a tingling mess of nerve ends bursting to life in ways that made your mind numb.
The lights had been turned down low, their soft incandescent glow warm and inviting as the breathy sounds of unspoken desires from a man consumed filled the air. It was hard to think of anything as the thick tension permeated the space while you lay there naked sprawled out across the sheets with Simon at your side. Adoration was what he was after tonight, needing you to be left as nothing more than a puddle of pure bliss in the middle of his bed.
Toughened fingers traced all of those subtle imperfections lining your body with such tenderness as if each scar and blemish and indention were incredibly precious to him; his lips followed not far behind as he whispered praises into your skin. Those gentle words that were only for your ears alone as he couldn’t have people thinking he was going soft…even though he absolutely had been since the moment he got with you.
“How could ya ever think I would want anythin’ other than this, other than ya?" he breathed the question into the skin of your torso. “You're all I could ever want, all I fuckin’ think about; the best goddamn thing to ever happen to me. My pretty girl.” 
His nose nuzzled against the crook of your neck and he caught that scent: the smell of your body’s natural musk that just one whiff of could make his head fuzzy and his body tingle in a way he could not describe. All those beautifully fragrant notes that combined together to create a profile that was distinct to you so that even if he couldn’t see you he knew you were near. Closing his eyes, he breathed you in deep.
“Christ, you’re so fuckin’ beautiful, sweetheart,” he purred into the warm skin of your shoulder before he was on the move, lips caressing over the swell of your breasts with nipples already stiff. “I just can’t ever get enough of ya. How could ya ever fuckin' think I'd give up all this for some young tart who'd get sick 'a me sooner rather than later? Fuck, you’re all I want, all I'll eva fuckin' need.”
Down, down, down he continued over the length of your stomach towards your thighs. It was like performing a sacred act, him giving you the full breadth of his overwhelming desire as he made his way from your lips to your legs, getting everything in between. He shot a hungry glance back up at you as he reached those pillowy creations that he loved so much.
He sighed. "Every inch of ya is like a goddamn dream."
Extra time he spent on your thighs as he embraced those voluptuous curves over and over again with his mouth, kissing and sucking, running his nose along them until you were whining and writhing beneath him. Shit, he had not even touched anywhere near your throbbing clit yet and still you could not stop the way your heart pounded out of your chest or your short, sticcatoed breathing that filled the silence. 
“Please,” the plea fell from your open mouth, but there was no need to beg. This was your night after all and he was not about to deny you of anything.
"Whatever my pretty girl wants she's gonna fuckin' get," he smiled. "Always."
Slowly Simon’s large hands spread you open just wide enough that he could lean his face into your mossy bank. More delicate kisses were dotted over your petals, his mouth embracing all around that tender slit before his tongue gently slipped inside the folds. All that doting on your body had done it’s job in stimulating so that he was met with a wetness on his tongue as he dived in. 
Shit were you sweet, like eating a peach except this one would not run out before he had gotten his fill. 
That masterful tongue drew short, concise circles around your clit, lips locking around the bud intermittently to suck, using the two techniques in tandem while his nails drug lightly over your thighs until your were bucking against his face. There was no rush in his movements; he was going to take his time in drawing out your pleasure. 
You couldn’t make a sound, your mind consumed completely with every flick of his tongue, every press of it firmly against you, every pass of his hands over your thighs; overstimulated doesn’t even begin to describe it. Eyes closed, mouth wide open, desperate music being moaned into the room was all you could muster as he brought you closer and closer to the precipice of your pleasure. 
Leisurely Simon lapped at your clit, no rush, no hurry, with measured strokes that eased you pleasantly into your orgasm instead of violently throwing you over. You came so effortlessly that you are able to ride out that wave of ecstasy for minutes as his pace stayed at that steady rhythm until there was no more left for you to give. Only then did he emerge like a man baptized anew. 
By the time he finally thrust inside you, you were a glorious mess of sweat and mewls and cum. He took you right on your back, needing to see that look in your eyes that made him feel like he was your whole world. No muscle-straining positions will he put you in tonight as all he wants is to gaze down at the most beautiful creature he’s ever laid eyes on. 
“Do ya think I have any doubts now?” he asked with a muted smile. "Think I could do this with just anyone?"
Your cheeks, already warm and pink, flushed bright crimson. “No,” you shook your head.
“That's a good girl,” he praised as he adjusted your legs to be comfortable around his thick torso. “Then let’s finish this off right, yeah? You and me, sweetheart.”
Slow, even thrusts he pounded into you, stretching you and filling you full even at this angle, as he met your lips again to nearly choke you on all his passion. You could taste yourself on his breath as he claimed you body and soul. 
“Ya feel so fuckin’ good, just wanna stay buried in ya all the time,” he groaned between precise thrusts through your tight, moist core. Your body was paradise and he could not get enough. Pulling back he watched the connection of your bodies right at the point where he slipped inside of you. You were so full of him there was no distinction between where he ended and you began.
Simon was never a religious man, most of the time as far from it as humanly possible, but the closest he would ever come to faith was the moment he got his first feel of all that glory that first time you two went at it. It was then that your body became his church and from then on he was more than ready to give his life to worshiping at your alter with his fingers and tongue and cock; any and all instruments at his disposal to show you his unwavering devotion. 
That man had been starved for far longer than he would like to admit, but the first time he buried himself in you that was all it took to fill him up. It was only you that he craved: your softness and warmth and light and no one else would ever do. As much as you were his, he was yours.
His hands ran up the sides of your torso, leaving burning trails that made you shiver as he palmed both of your breasts in each one of his hands to massage the flesh. “I want ya to come for me again,” he said, more need in his voice. “Can ya do that for me pretty girl?”
Rapidly you nodded your head up and down as you focused on what was coming.
“That’s it; wanna be sure my girl gets everything she needs to stay satisfied with me.”
There was a feeling of safety and security that you got when you were with him; no matter how rough or passionate the sex got, Simon was always right there with you in the moment so that you never felt that it was one sided. Right now that feeling spread through you along with the gathering warmth in your abdomen to help you get out of your head and let go. All those worries, all those fears, they left completely as he thrust inside you a few more times and you spilled over the edge once more.
He kissed you hard on the mouth, holding your raw lips together once more as he followed right after you. His shoulder shook as his released himself and fell into that high that he would never tire of- not when it was with you. As he let go of your lips, he smiled back down at you; that glow of ecstasy causing his heart to skip a beat.
“Ya see, there’s no one in this whole fuckin’ world I want more than ya, sweetheart,” he whispered into your temple before placed a quick kiss. “And I am always willin’ to show ya that you are the only girl for me.”
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inkdrinkerworld · 7 days
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hi! i saw you were taking requests for post prison spencer, so hey
i was thinking about spencer meeting a kinda sunshine reader, and it’s like…love at first sight. she’s literally the one to make him smile for good
feel free to add your magic to it, and to ignore it, don’t feel pressure at all!
have a good day/night <3
babe you guys are saving my life with these requests right now! I'm feeling so good about everything I write again <3 enjoy sunshine!reader x post prison!spencer who looks less tense and serious around you
You’re at his desk, sitting there all perfect in your orange button up and flared pants, Mary Janes clicking on the linoleum tile as you tap your pen against your lips. Your hair is scraped back into a ponytail, the plait brushing the spot between your shoulder blades. 
Spencer had asked about you to Penelope, asked about your personality, about how you work- all the important things. What he didn’t ask was if you were gorgeous and Penelope, who loves to divulge, had never said a thing about your looks. 
“Hi, you’re Y/n right?” Spencer’s standing before you, not realising how intimidating he must look till you jolt in your chair. 
You’d been trying to get your morning crossword and read in before the day had officially begun, a habit you’d been trying to keep up with since you started the job. So far it’s been going- the crosswords are boring so you have to pretend to be distracted by it to let it last a bit more than four minutes.
“Oh sorry, I am. You’re Doctor Spencer Reid,” you lean back in your chair, not bothering to hold out a hand to you. Penelope had grilled you on his aversion to germs and touching people more than needed. “I’m sorry about taking over your desk, but they didn’t have any free ones.” 
Spencer shakes his head, you take a moment to look him over. His hair is a bit looser than you’d imagined, Penelope said curly hair and you’d thought tight spirals- he has pretty loose ringlets, dark and mocha-like.
He smells like leather and something else, maybe plum and black currant- it’s a bit of an all encompassing smell that you like already. He’s much prettier too, he looks tired, but still pretty. His stubble presents a problem, you know it’s going to be your downfall. 
“It’s alright, we keep a tight ship. Have they been treating you well?” 
You tilt your head, “The team or the unsubs? Because it’s been too many cases to have real team building.” You grin when Spencer huffs, making his lips twitch. “But I think getting concussed while saving Newbie’s ass counts for something.” 
Luke grumbles as he walks by with his coffee, “You were hired after I was,” patting Spencer on the back when the taller, lithe, man rolls a chair to sit opposite you. 
“Do you still experience headaches or migraines?” Spencer kicks himself when he sees your tongue poke into your cheek- you’re trying hard not to smile at his question. He also thinks he’s doing a shoddy job of flirting but that can be fixed- he’s been in prison for the last three months, he just needs to get back in the swing of things. 
“I’m pretty sure your first official day back starts with you in Emily’s office and not giving me an impromptu physical, Dr. Reid.” His lips twitch again, cheeks jumping as he shakes his head. 
“It’s just a check-up, no physical yet.” he stands, not really giving himself time to overthink what he’s just said. It’s more than a little presumptuous on his part but you don’t call him an asshole or swear at him, so he thinks he’s okay with it. 
“Do you want your desk back, Spencer?” you’re earnest in asking, not wanting to fuck up his routines and his norm. You can tell you like him already and it’s hardly been a fifteen minute conversation. 
“No, it’s okay. I’ll take the one right there.” Spencer points a finger to the desk right in behind yours with a little less severity to his lips, his stubble looking even more attractive as he does so. 
You watch him walk away, willing yourself to be professional about all this, he may be hot but he’s your coworker and you know all about close proximity relationships possibly being shams. You’re not here for that, so Spencer will be a good friend. 
You make your way into the kitchen, steps light as you reach for your mug- a cute blue mug with an orca as the handle. 
“So you come in and the kid’s already obsessed with you?” Rossi’s right beside you, making you jump as you put more than the recommended amount of tablespoons of coffee into your mug. 
“It’s not like that, you all made him out to be this awkward shy mess and he isn’t.” You try to sound as casual as you can, but you profile your own voice and know how it sounds to everyone- wistful. 
“Maybe he’s seen a pretty girl and the ‘awkward shy mess’ melted away,” Rossi places his hands on your shoulders. “He’s a good kid. You can trust in that.” 
You roll your eyes, stirring your coffee. “I’m pretty sure he’s in his thirties, Rossi.” You take the milk from him, pouring it in till your coffee is just at the lip of your mug and smile. “Definitely too old.” 
Rossi waves his hand, “I’ve been married four times, old isn’t a marker for romance anymore. Not when you’re only twenty four.” He leaves you be for a moment, and on your walk back to your desk to fill out the remaining crosswords you mull over his words. 
As you sit, you look down and find it all filled out in black ink, opposed to your blue and you know who did it, if the messy scrawled message is anything to go by- ‘You should get The Washington Post puzzles, much more stimulating.’
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mysillycomics · 4 months
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Hi everyone! This is Claire. I am writing to let you all know that we did it. We saved Bailey and Tiger Fluff, and we all live together in an apartment in Illinois, my home state. We really, really did it!!!
You can read our thanks, thoughts, and more under the read more :0)
(note: Oliver also goes by Bailey! She has two names.)
There are many important people on this journey that we would like to specifically thank.
First, all of our friends (especially Peregrine, Sophie, and Jackson) who were there on the day Bailey was evicted, who listened to me and helped me figure out what to do when I felt more lost than I’ve ever been. Without them we wouldn’t have been able to act so quickly and efficiently. Because of them, we were able to formulate a plan.
Speaking of Jackson, he and his partner Cherri need to be thanked once again. Jackson drove all the way from his home, Bailey’s motel, and back to get both her and Tiger to a place to stay while we figured out what to do next. They provided a warm, quiet, and safe place for both of them in a time when something like that was so far away. For the first time in a long time, I knew that Bailey was truly somewhere safe. For that, we will be forever grateful.
While we do not have their names, we would like to thank the staff of the airport and airline who helped make this journey objectively possible. They also made Tiger into a little celebrity on the flight, and everyone, including the pilot, went to greet her and congratulate her for being so brave. She really is the bravest little kitty we know.
Next are my very close friends Elle and Callan, who invited Bailey and Tiger to stay at their house not far from mine while we secured a place of our own. They, like Jackson and Cherri, gave both of them the space to simply be. I was able to visit a couple of times, and being with my favorite people made an extremely difficult time so much better. It made me think “this feeling is what we are fighting for”.
Finally, we’d like to thank you.
To all of you who read and shared our story, you helped us to feel seen and heard and not alone. Reading words of support in the comments, quote retweets, and tumblr tags truly made me feel like we could do this with everyone cheering us on.
To everyone who donated, your generosity this financially possible. As of writing, we received $19,381 from the GoFundMe. We are now able to use the rest of funds that have been tucked away in savings for rent, food, and bills. I cannot overstate how grateful we both are. What you did for us will never leave our hearts.
While Bailey and Fluffy were at Elle and Callan’s, we found an apartment. It was small, but perfect. We toured. We applied. And we got it.
And on December 9th, 2023, we moved in and started living together! Our goal, our dream, our driving force for so long was achieved. After three years of long distance, we finally made it.
Our home is small, and has some quirks as all homes do, but it’s ours. The love of my life, the best little cat in the word, and I are all together. We are safe, warm, happy, and loved. The future we fought so hard for us now the present. Forgive me for being long-winded. I just have so much to say about all of this! Sometimes I still can’t believe that we actually did it. But we did, we really did!!!
I’m going to keep the GoFundMe up for a little bit, but once things settle more I will close donations.
Thank you!!!!!!!!! 🧸💕
____
Hey everyone Bailey here, I cannot overstate just how grateful I am to every single one of you and how thankful I am that this journey has been able to come into fruition. It was very scary being in that motel not having a plan or knowing what I was gonna do next while everything was crumbling around me. If it wasn't for Claire and our incredibly kind and caring friends I don't know what I'd do. They helped me press on and get through this with Fluff and we finally did.
Finally we're in a place that brings nothing but peace and comfort, my anxiety has dropped and I'm doing things I've never thought possible and building up strengths I never knew I had, I feel whole in a way that I've never felt before and I'm just, happy.
I am so grateful to have Claire, for years she's been so supportive and comforting and has brought this dream we've had into reality and every day I am so thankful to have her, she is the love of my life and my best friend. The life that her, myself and Fluff now share will forever be together and we can finally begin living. 💚💜
Thank you everyone, thank you to our friends who let Fluff and I into their lives to be able to be safe while we get our bearings, thank you to everyone who said such kind and wonderfully compassionate words, cheering us on as we go, every day I was looking at the community post I made on YT and it was just filled with people being so supportive, and thank you everyone who donated and got us into where we are. We could not have done it without all of you. 🐟 ❤️ 🐟 ❤️
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redwineandtarot · 1 month
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your future spouse's first impression of you
hi! after a long time i am back with another reading❣️ i asked spirit using the term fs but you can use this for soulmates as well. please remember we have free will, i am just reading energies so take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. i would love to hear your feedbacks <3
🥀paid readings🥀
Disclaimer: My readings do NOT replace any professional advice. Use your own judgment while making decisions. You have your own free will. Take everything I say light-heartedly. All of my readings are for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES.
pick a pile
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piles 1-2-3
all pictures are from pinterest.
pile 1
They will think that you are a selfless person. And that you are always ready to help others. Or fight for your values. But in a subtle way. To them you have a calming aura. They will also see you as someone reserved, someone who prefers to keep to themselves and speak less. From the first impression, you are someone who is a bit passive. 
They will think that you have a rich inner self. However you seem to be avoiding it. I don't really know what exactly this is but your fs will be confused as to why you are avoiding this amazing part of you.
You have a mystic and wise energy to you. And to them you look like someone that trusts the universe (or whatever you believe in). You also seem mysterious to them. They will be intrigued by you and will want to know more about you. Maybe it's because you are somewhat different from them. Like they may be an atheist and you may be a pagan or you two may come from different cultures etc. This difference will spark their interest in you. Because to them, you bring a different outlook on life.
They will think that you know how to balance things and can see the different parts of a situation. They will think that you try to be fair.
I don't know how your person will see this but they will think that you accept change as it is and with peace. Maybe it's your calm demeanor that made them think this way.
They will see you as someone who takes a lot on their plate. Maybe you struggle with saying no and end up helping everyone even if it burdens you. Or it's just the way they see you.
Around the time you first meet them you may be very busy. Also you or them (or both) maybe in your 30s. And you may have a 2 year age gap for some of you.
your song: intro: singularity-bts
significant placements: libra, pluto, 3rd house aquarius, uranus, 12th house leo, south node, 4th house
thank you for reading ❤️
pile 2
They will see you as someone reliable and nurturing. You have an earthy vibe to you (also fiery), to them. You look like that friend who never leaves their friends alone in their hard times. 
They will think that you have a lot of potential in you. And already doing quite good in life. You move slowly while making decisions. You think before you act. However when you decide something you move swiftly and get what you want. You seem passionate to them. The line “I want it, I got it” from 7 rings-ariana grande is your line!
They will think that you are quite attracted to them, lmao. But they may think that you already have someone in your life. Again they make a lot of assumptions so you may have not said anything about this topic but still they just can't sit still lol. They think that you shine a lot so maybe that's why they assume you are not alone or at least people are chasing you. 
They will think that you have a lot to offer. Emotion and passion wise.
To them you are quite firm on your beliefs. For some of you they may see you have a debate with someone or you may have a debate with them in your first meeting. Or it's just something that will allow them to see your argumentative side. 🔞They will think that you are s3xy when you get all bossy(?) like that lol.
You seem like someone who is quite comfortable in their own skin. However they will see the hard work behind this confidence. Idk they will try to analyze a lot probably. Like try to see through you. You may have had to work hard to gain your confidence and maybe you were self conscious/had a low self esteem but worked hard and became who you are today. Again this is in their eyes.
Some of you here could have brownish-reddish hair here. Or will have that color when you meet your fs.
you got two songs: better by myself- hey violet, to me-alina baraz
significant placements: saturn, 2nd house, cancer south node, 7th house, leo south node, 11th house, libra
thank you for reading ❤️
pile 3
First of all, you may have a purple aura. I know this is a bit off topic but it came through.
You may have a darker aesthetic or may prefer darker colors on your clothes around the time you meet your fs. And they notice this. They may notice your legs and think that they are beautiful. Also I heard, boobs/chest area for some of you.
They will think that you know how to enjoy life and enjoy yourself. You have this nonchalant energy to them. And they see you as someone who is not afraid to express themselves and live authentically. You are at peace in life. You love your life and seem to enjoy it. To them, you are like a “no bs” person. 
Like your clothing, you may like/like to search about what society deems as “dark”, like occult etc.
They will think that you are a disciplined person. However at first they may understand you wrong, this discipline can seem like the will to win no matter what, to them. They may see you as someone who is defensive and does not accept their faults. Someone who is willing to do almost everything to win. However I am not seeing that this is the case with you. Because of this later they may be ashamed of themselves. 
You also seem somewhat unattainable and unpredictable to them. But it's not like you do stupid things. It's more like when they think they know you, you say something totally unexpected about yourself. 
You have this great personality inside you. For them to see this side of you may take a while. I am not saying they will hate you but they will be a bit judgemental of you. You seem like the life of the party and like you are an authentic person but you are also such a deep person. However nonchalant you seem, you also have worries. And you have such a strong and a soft person inside you. They will see this eventually and embrace every part of you.
(For some of you this judgment may be because they are a bit more of a reserved person)
your song: take me-miso
significant placements: taurus, 3rd house, uranus leo, 11th house, neptune capricorn, 12th house, mercury
thank you for reading ❤️
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