#i bought some new books yesterday and i'm really excited about two of them

[whereistheonepiece]

Currently wishing I could read two books simultaneously.

[putschki1969]

2024/09/02 Instagram post by Wakana

There's finally a new issue for my FC newsletter "Botanical Tsushin" 🤗I think it should have arrived at your place by now 🧚✨ The cover photo features me wearing pants, quite a rare style! I can't believe it's already been six months since this photo was taken…(Source)

2024/08/23 Blog post by Wakana ラップ事件と早寝早起き〜物持ちは良い方です〜

❗This is Fan Club EXCLUSIVE content❗ ❗PERSONAL USE ONLY❗ ❗Do NOT SHARE on other sites❗ ❗Join her FAN CLUB! Check out my detailed TUTORIAL ❗

The Plastic Wrap Incident, Early to Bed, Early to Rise ~ Taking Good Care of Things ~

The other day, I noticed that I was running out of plastic wrap at home. I always keep plastic wrap on the left side of the large drawer under the sink. I could tell I was only a few rolls away from the last one and since I had no stock left in the drawer, I decided to buy some before I forgot. Since plastic wrap is an essential item for me, I bought a bit more to stock up properly. This time, I bought a set of four online and immediately felt a sense of relief ♪ I was excited as I waited for Plastic Wrap babies to arrive. The next day, the plastic wrap was delivered to my house safely. I used up the last one and opened a new package. I felt at ease and happy knowing that I still had three rolls in stock on the left side of my drawer. All of a sudden, I looked to the right side of my storage drawer. There were two rolls just lying there. How did you get there??? What a surprise…I had no idea you existed (maybe because I bought them in the store and not online). Can't believe there have always been two extra rolls in stock. But why are they on the right side? It's really confusing. With five in stock, I feel like I don't need to buy plastic wraps for about a year. I feel like I should do a give-away for my fans. (I won't do it though.)

Hello, this is Wakana (0￣▽￣0)／

With five in stock, I won't have to worry about plastic wraps for a very long time (But I'm sure I'll end up buying even more rolls)

Well, it seems we've overcome the intense heat of August, and it's finally starting to cool down a little bit. At least in Tokyo.

Recently, in addition to stretching in the morning and evening, I've been trying to go to bed early and get up early. Ideally, I want to go to bed at 11pm and get up at 7am. Surprisingly, it's become a habit quite easily, and sometimes I even go to bed at 10pm and wake up at 6am 😂 I'm already sleepy by 9pm…😴I feel that doing a lot of different things in the morning really helps me finish the day efficiently and refreshed. In the evening, after getting out of the bath and finishing my skincare routine, I do whatever I like depending on how I feel that day. I do some thorough stretching, watch a movie, have a little wine, read a book, etc. I'm going to keep doing this in order to find the best schedule for me😊💕

Yesterday, I went to the hairdresser and got bangs again. This time, I got full-on bangs (￣^￣). My previous bangs couldn't even be called bangs because they were so thin. But now, they are proper thick bangs. With bangs like this, I can choose to wear them down, part them, or put them all up. I'm not used to it so I will try my best to arrange them nicely from now on. Of course, as before, I will be pulling them up frequqntly to let my forehead breathe (It's my go-to hair-style after all) I'll post some photos next time😊

Finally, I have an announcement and a reminder. First of all, here are some more infos about my upcoming FC exclusive event “Join Wakana! Houseboat Full-Course Tour” 🚣🎶

《Event Overview》 Title “Join Wakana! Houseboat Full-Course Tour” September 22 (Sun), evening session from 18:00 September 23 (Mon), day session from 12:00 Let's all enjoy a great meal on the boat! ! ! ＼＼\٩( 'ω' )و //／／ For more information, please check this link😊 https://wakana-fc.jp/contents/773952

And once again, I would like to post a reminder for everyone to submit their messages for my next "Wakana's Talk Garden" podcast episode before the deadline. These are the topics: - Everyone's mysterious experiences - Anything you want to ask me!

Stories that can't be explained by science. Stories that make you question your own perception. Stories of miraculous experiences. Really anything weird you can think of! I look forward to your strange experiences 🤗(In a way, the wrap incident was also a strange experience.) Click here to apply ♡ https://wakana-fc.jp/answers/botanical_oshaberi_13/new

By the way, some of you asked about the floral sheets that could be seen on some of the pillow pictures in my last blog post. (Actually, it is a duvet cover) I had to think about it for a while but I must have bought it somewhere in the Sangenjaya area when I first moved to Tokyo 🤔I saw it and liked it so much that I bought it on a whim. It's been almost 20 years since then. I've been taking good care of it, haven't I? *laughs* I'm quite surprised it is still in such a good condition.

Well, that's all for today, until next time~☆( '▽')/ Lately, I've been obsessed with Mini Bolo snacks.

＊＊＊Wakana＊＊＊ (Source)

[foster-the-world]

Onward and Upward

Last day of school. Onward to 3rd grade, 2nd grade and 4K. Can't believe she's going to be a "big kid" in the 3rd grade. They grow up so fast, its goes too fast, yada, yada, blah, blah, blah.

They were happy this morning. Certainly no learning will take place today. Bee's teachers is bringing her 9 and 13yo. Bee loves, loves, loves the 13yo. Our flight to my parents house is 8pm tonight. Got an email that we could change for free due to bad weather. It looks like maybe the storm is coming in later. Fingers crossed.

The girls had their awards ceremony last week. Disappointingly 2nd grade only did "you completed 2nd grade" awards for everyone. Lame. 1st grade had individual awards but they were generic - leadership, academic excellence. Rebel won both big awards because she's a teachers pet type. I had to miss because I don't have vacation hours at work. My husband said all of the kids were really excited for each other. I loved, loved Bee's teachers awards last year. Every kid got two very specific awards. They were very, very sweet and captured each kid beautifully. The kids tried to guess who she was talking about and they were 100% correct because the teacher really understood each kid so well. I had tears in my eyes. One of my favorite things is to see my kids being known and loved by other people. I wondered if it would be less so with a kid who has much more challenging behaviors. But nope. Baby boy was very well loved and known this year also. His teacher sent me a long text message about how much she is going to "miss her boy." She also sent a ton of pictures that capture him really well. Bee wrote "You are a great teacher. You treated me like family" in her teacher's card. So sweet. Teachers gifts sent off (flowers + gift cards). Feeling relieved to have all of the end of school year stuff over with.

I'm enjoying Clair Lombardo's books. I got a bunch of new books for baby boy on hold at the library. Found some about personal space. He's more of a crasher into other people so I'm not sure it will translate but let's see. His social skills class finished yesterday. If insurance paid we would keep sending him but I don't think its worth the steep price for what he got out of it. He understands social rules he just doesn't always follow them. They have a summer camp - nice to know for future reference.

The ADHD parent coach has given us some good suggestions we are trying out. We mentioned taking him to stores is difficult. He wants to run around and touch everything. I think it would work better in the suburbs where they have carts. In NYC we try to hold his hand while holding all of our purchases. Stores are smaller so less space for him. Anyway, he suggested we try it when we don't actually need to buy anything. That way we have time to set rules for him (stay near us, don't touch everything) and can leave if he's not following through. We are also going to put him in charge of finding one item. He can then buy/keep the item if he follows all of the rules. He gets three warnings. Normally we only take him when we have to buy something so we can't follow through with the threat of leaving if he doesn't listen. Not sure why we didn't think of this before. Fingers crossed some practice will help him/us out.

His sitter said he is interested in reading the pamphlets/how to's from the ADHD parent coach. Which is appreciated. Once again thankful to have so many people who want my kid to succeed.

His sitter owns a backpack company. Such a cool idea. They are really high quality: https://shiftbackpacks.com/ I'm really hoping they go viral at some point. I suggested he try to get in the NYC private school circuit. Those rich people have money and are all about letting their kids express their emotions.

Bought my husband (and I) tickets to Sturgill Simpson in October for his Birthday. Birthday present done and I get to see a concert = yes, please.

[nocompromise-noregrets]

five good things

okay, gonna start with the main one because it's a big one:

LAST CAT STANDING IS GETTING HIS THYROID SORTED! He's had an overactive thyroid for pushing on for three years and we've been managing it with medication but it's been getting worse and although there is a treatment that will fix it outright (radioactive iodine injection) there have been such shortages that only one place has been doing it and their waiting list is over a year long, so he wouldn't be getting it this year, and he's nearly 18 so the longer he has to wait the worse he's going to get. However! Our vet called us last week and said she'd been doing a bit of research and found a couple of places much closer to us who are offering the treatment again and have much shorter waiting lists - one of them only about a month - so we said please refer him to one or other of those, and settled down to wait. Then I got a call yesterday from a very lovely vet at one of the places who talked me through it all and booked him in FOR TWO AND A HALF WEEKS' TIME. He'll have had it done by the time he turns 18 in mid-April! The really amazing thing is that this treatment has a 99.9% success rate - the vet described it both as 'the gold standard' and 'magical' and if a Sensible Veterinary Science Person is describing a treatment as 'magical'...well. I can't even begin to describe how thrilled we are. Our other three all had things that couldn't be cured (we don't even know what it was that Beanie had) so to have something that really can be cured straight off with one injection is just...it's such a relief you guys, I don't know how to tell you.

I've just had a really good two days at job number two with my gardener-lady biographer (who has turned into a really good friend and in fact bought our lovely little car off us a couple of months ago - so I got to see the little fella again which was lovely) - we did some reboxing of the stuff she's been sorting out, shuffled everything up and sorted it into a better order, and it all feels a lot more manageable now.

X-Men 97 is out!!! I haven't had chance to watch it yet but I'm SO EXCITED YOU GUYS OMG. I've seen a few stills, and it looks like my beloved Gambit is just as he was, and oh I am so pleased. <333333

The sun's been out today and we went for a wander at lunchtime, the spring flowers are all out and it was just so gloriously lovely to stand in the sun and feel warm.

Barduil Month is nearly here! (if anyone wants to prompt me please feel free - I have a couple but am always on the lookout for more!)

I am sitting in the pub with a very nice pint of Camden Hells and the laptop, one of my fellow regulars who I get on really well with is in the back room watching the rugby on his ipad and is going to come and join me when he's done, and some of my favourite bar staff are working. I am utterly knackered (I am such a lightweight, I'm not used to doing five-day weeks any more, and when I do two days in a row for job number two, to make it worth it for my friend to come up from London to work on gardener-lady's papers, I am always utterly wiped out at the end of it) but I'm chilling out and decompressing, there's a Wall of Sound playlist on the speakers (Da Doo Ron Ron currently) and everything is very lovely.

Both Isaac Howlett from Empathy Test and The Holy Ones have new singles out! Isaac's is here and is just perfect wounded-yearning-boy electropop (much like Empathy Test really) and THO's is here and is huge fun stoner-rock and Japa-the-guitar-player (who is one of my favourite people from the Finndom) hasn't changed a bit in fifteen years and I adore both him and the song. I'm hoping they'll announce some shows - they were playing in Helsinki in May 2020 and announced the show with enough notice that I was able to make arrangements to go, and I was on the point of doing so when Covid happened, the show was postponed to the September (when I still wouldn't have been able to enter Finland) and then cancelled, so I'm really really hoping they come through this time because I'm dying to see them. I also have itchy feet like you wouldn't believe and am dying for an excuse to go somewhere, and Helsinki being one of my favourite places in the whole world, well... :D :D :D

I had a fab birthday last week, and we went up to the new 'food dock' in town (one end of the docks has been converted into lots of bars, cafes and restaurants and it has been a very protracted process but it's finally finally all open) and had awesome burgers, locally-produced ice cream and locally-produced beer and looked at the pretty lights on the water and generally had a lovely evening of it.

Aaaaaand I have a fancy record player that works with our fancy wifi sound system, and Placebo's last two albums on vinyl, courtesy of the missus, and it's fancy enough that it doesn't auto-return at the end of a side so for the first time in about forty years I heard the track in the runout groove of side two of Sgt. Pepper which I hadn't heard since my dad got a tower stereo system in the 80s that had an auto-return and didn't play the runout groove and...yeah. Awesome. I sorted all my vinyl back into order (the missus does not do alphabetical order, and she'd had it all out of the cupboard at some point to do something or other behind the cupboard and then had not put it back in the right order), rediscovered a good few things, listened to a bunch of stuff and generally nerded out quite happily for a good few days XD

I had 96% on my most recent OU assignment XD all that's left to do is an essay plan for the final assignment, and then the final assignment itself, and given that I find planning really difficult, I'm probably going to write the final assignment and then summarise it for the plan, hand that in, then hand the final assignment in once I've had the feedback from the plan XDDDD And then I will be done, and I will be the king's favourite band (the Three Degrees) XDDDDDD

I think that's more than enough, don't you? :D Things are pretty all right at the moment, which is rather nice.

[heartlites]

so, i suppose as a little update in the diary that is my tumblr blog.

out of all those books i bought, i've finished two and i'm on the third one. it's taking me much longer to finish the third one because it just didn't grip me like the first two books did. the one's i have finished are my darling dreadful thing by johanna van veen (highly recommend for a gripping gothic story) and the last story of mina lee by nancy jooyoun kim (also a good read, but didn't grip me as severely as the former).

i'm currently reading nura and the immortal palace by m.t. khan. i think it has fantastic world building with a lot of fantastical scenery and people, very fun and imaginative setting, but the writing style is a bit simpler. i think it's a book better suited for a tween to teen audience.

i tried painting yesterday once again. i picked up some small i believe 5"x5" canvases over the weekend to give myself something small to work on. i didn't like what i made, tbqh, and i did end up throwing it away. the acrylic paint set i have is kind of limited and didn't capture what i wanted and i think i've forgotten a lot of painting techniques. i don't remember how to work with acrylics much anymore. i used oil paints more in the past. i'm wondering if i should maybe look up some stuff to help me figure out and re-learn techniques. however, this does also have me thinking about digital art again because i wouldn't have to struggle w finding my colors/mixing paints or the clean up lol. i wish i could find my old tablet.

i'm excited for fall coming in, i want to try to spend some more time outside again but i've been struggling with a lot of pain, boredom, and loneliness since i fell. i can't do as much around the house and it's frustrating and leading to some boredom to me. i've turned to video games more but i'm currently feeling a little unsatisfied with them.

generally just kind of really depressed as a whole in life, though. so much stress and little way to relieve it. socially i feel crushed and devastated. i feel like some kind of creature trying to imitate humans. i feel so distant and disconnected. my therapist is retired and i still haven't found a new one. idk what to do

edit: oh! an addition. i started playing dead by daylight recently. it wasn't as scary or intimidating as i thought it'd be. it's also not really that scary. horror media has started to surround me in life more and more in my life and i'm unsure how i feel about it these days. its not as traumatic of an ordeal for me anymore but some of it i just do not "get" but i'm trying to make peace with the fact that i don't have to "get" everything. so far i think my favorite form of horror media i've engaged with is probably written/novel forms. suspense and mystery intrigues me and draws me in more.

[johnsamericano]

𝔖𝔲𝔤𝔞𝔯 ℜ𝔲𝔰𝔥 𝔧.𝔧.𝔥 •2•

Hi hi! I'm back with another chapter. This one might not be as good(?, it's a really fluffy chapter so bear with me.

warnings: sugar daddy jae, he's a big baby, tooth rotting, kinda long.

sugar rush m.list.

taglist: @thoreeo @trustmahluv @sunny-nyu @nanascupid @silent-potato

“Sir, there’s a girl asking to see you.”

“Hey, I’m not a girl!” He chuckled as his finger pressed the button to communicate with his secretary.

“Hey, I’m not a girl!” He chuckled as his finger pressed the button to communicate with his secretary.

“Hey, I’m not a girl!” He chuckled as his finger pressed the button to communicate with his secretary.

“Let her in.”

Only a few seconds later, your head was peeking through his door.

“I brought you coffee.” You extended your hand out, showing him the carton containing two iced drinks. “Are you busy?”

“Not at all, come in.” You sat on the elegant, individual sofa in front of him, his desk serving as a separation. “Are you here to spy on me? Don't you trust me with your father's case?” He pouted, typing something in his keyboard while your palms started sweating.

How could you not trust the man with the highest case winning index in the whole country?

Briefly, after your encounter with the other lawyer, you'd googled him as well as his company. Because of his incredibly high fees, he didn't have many clients, but those few who had enough money to cost him were almost assured to be on the winning side. So then, why hadn't an excellent lawyer like him popped up when you'd first looked for popular firms? Simple, he wasn't popular.

Just like a hidden gem, only a few had the pleasure to know Yoonoh, and you felt beyond grateful for paying that stupid membership weeks ago.

“No, no!” You were quick to defend yourself, frantically shaking your hands to support your previous statement. “Just wanted to be of help.”

Truth to be told, after receiving your first weekly allowance, an unsettling feeling had been squeezing your heart ever since. Call it guilt or whatever, but it didn't set right to be receiving si much help from him when you hadn't had the chance to do anything in return. The least you could do was trying to be polite.

“You shouldn't be spending your money on me. I'm the one supposed to spoil you, remember?” He grabbed the plastic container by the lid, sipping the bitter liquid with an amused smile. “But thank you.”

“I paid my rent yesterday.” You blurted out, trying to avoid the uncomfortable silence threatening to settle between the two of you. “And I still have money left to save for my father's hospital bills, maybe even buy a present for my aunt.”

He admired how noble you were, making sure those around you had enough before even thinking to do something for yourself.

“I have a party this Friday, would you like to attend with me?” Your presence wasn't required as it wasn't a big event, but by the look in your eyes, he knew you were itching to do something in return for his kindness.

“Yes, of course!” Your orbs sparkled with excitement, finally feeling yourself useful.

“If you don't mind waiting, we can go buy something for you to wear right after I finish with this.” For what seemed like the tenth time in less than ten minutes, small beads of sweat rolled down the back of your neck. Thank God he wasn't able to see them. “Oh, come on, don't give me that look!”

“You’ve already done so much for me. I can buy the clothes myself, don't worry.” With a deep sigh, Yoonoh rose from his chair, taking long strides to surround the desk separating you. “W-what are you doing?” Now kneeling on the floor beneath you, his face was dangerously close to yours, coffee breath crashing against your nose.

“Using mind control to convince you to let me take you out.” He stared at you for a couple more seconds before saying: “Is it working?”

“I think your mind control is broken.” You whisper, unable to hold back the small giggles bubbling at the back of your throat.

“How about now?” He batted his eyelashes, trying to act cute despite his bold features. You shook your head.

Just as you thought it was over, his hand went up to cup your jaw, his thumb drawing uneven figures on the ticklish skin.

“How about now?” He repeated. You stammered, unsure of what to say. “Sorry, that was inappropriate.” Aware of your awkwardness and the rising heat in your cheeks, he stood up, walking back to his chair. “But I do want to get you something, would you let me?”

With your mind busy and your guard low, you nodded, unaware of the silly smile on his face.

“I have a few novels on my shelf in case you want something to kill time.”

“Thank you.” You moved to the huge bookshelf facing his desk, grateful your face wasn't visible anymore.

The books were ordered by genre and size, starting from the biggest law-related textbooks to pocket-sized novels, ending with the smallest one he had. The little prince.

Your eyes widened in disbelief. Yoonoh didn't seem to be the type to read that kind of heartbreaking yet beautiful book. Nonetheless, as many said, you can't judge a book by its cover.

An hour or two later, you were halfway into the first book of flowers in the attic, immersed in the small world the author had created. Yoonoh had finished his work a few minutes before, but distracting you when you were reading so vividly, seemed like a crime. He enjoyed the way your eyebrows would knit together every time something shocking happened, clearly too immersed in the novel to notice his intense gaze.

“Y/n...” He whispered once he noticed you were starting a new chapter. You blinked twice, hands clutching the book tightly as you noticed he had finished his work. “You can take it home, don't worry.”

“Sure?” He flashed his pretty dimples as his eyes turned into half-moons.

“You can come back for the rest of the saga when you finish this one. Take as many books as you please, I’ve already read them all.”

“Thank you.” Another act of kindness you had no way of returning. His favors just seemed to be piling up before you could even return any. “Would you like to have dinner with me today? I'm a great cook, or so did my father said.” You blurted out quickly, twisting your hands nervously as you waited for an answer.

“I’d love to. But I might have to attend some work calls if you don't mind.”

“I don't, maybe I'll even have time to bake a cake while you're at it.” God, how bad he wanted to take a picture of that adorably nervous smile.

“Great, so it's settled. Dinner at your place after we go shopping.” He had already put his blazer on, offering his arm to guide you out. With shaky fingers and sweaty armpits, you grabbed it, walking by his side with his secretary’s gazed glued on you. So much for a girl, huh?

Once seated in his car, with the book resting on your lap, you allowed yourself to relax. Yoonoh wasn't a bad person, on the contrary, he was very kind, so there was no use in keeping your guard up when he was around.

“Ready to roll?” You cringed at his use of slang, making him drop his head back to laugh. “What? Isn't it a thing you cool young adults say?”

“Maybe twenty years ago, Yoonoh.” It was the very first time you used his name so informally, and, oh how good it felt to hear you saying it?

“Fine, I won't use it anymore.” He poked your arm like a little child, and for a moment, you wondered if he was actually more than a decade older.

Several bad jokes, two dresses, and a quick stop at the grocery store later, you arrived at your apartment. Yoonoh held everything while you entered the passcode, struggling not to drop a can of vegetables that was starting to bend the edge of the paper bag.

“Ready, hand me something.” You both entered with your hands packed with different things. You went to your room to leave the new dresses while Yoonoh set the paper bags down on the kitchen counter.

“So...” He clapped loudly. “What are we cooking?”

“I bought the ingredients for lasagna. Is that okay with you?” He nodded, lips pressed and dimples in display. “Alright, let's do this.”

It would've been of great help if Yoonoh had told you he didn't know how to cook. But of course, part of the fault was yours for not noticing when he tried to add ketchup to the recipe.

“I burnt it.” He looked at the semi-carbonized pasta with disgust, feeling ashamed of having ruined your dish. “Let’s just throw it away and order something.” He was about to touch the hot container until your grip on his wrist halted his movements.

“We just pulled it out of the oven.” You shook your head in disbelief at the man standing in front of you.

“Sorry.”

Despite Yoonoh’s endless complaining, you ate the lasagna. The flavor wasn't that bad when you scratched off the burnt parts, especially when accompanied by a cold glass of wine.

“It’s not that bad.” You repeated over and over again. A phone call interrupted him from self-pitying any further. “Go on, take it.” You continued eating while he spoke in the living room.

It wasn't until a couple of minutes later that you realized he was whisper yelling at whoever was on the other line. It was your first time seeing him angry, and you didn't like it one bit. The way his face turned completely stoic, his eyes cold as his hand rested on his hip. Sweet, caring, Yoonoh was gone.

“I told you I needed it for today.” He said through gritted teeth. “You better get it before I arrive back at the office, or you can find yourself another job.” Even after he hung up, Yoonoh stood in the middle of the shared area, clutching his phone so tightly, it seemed like it would break any minute.

You wanted to ask if everything was alright, if he needed any help, but most importantly, if the things he needed were related to your father's case, but all the words stuck to your throat like insects in a spider web.

“I need to go.” He simply said, not even bothering to fake a smile. “Thank you for dinner, I'll see you on Friday.” With his free hand, he grabbed the coat hanging from his chair and left, slamming the door on his way out.

Was that the real Yoonoh?

A shiver ran down your spine. What had you gotten into? From what you'd seen, it was only about time he would show his true self to you as well.

All the trust you'd built up during the day, had crumbled down in a matter of seconds. The worst part? You didn't even feel entitled to be scared, not after all he'd done for you.

‘Just keep your distance.’ You repeated like a mantra as you got ready for bed, leaving the book you'd borrowed right where he'd left it, afraid it would burn your fingertips even with the slightest touch.

(...)

The week wasn't nearly as long as you'd wanted it to be, and soon enough, you were struggling to zip the dress you'd bought days ago. Your makeup was done, and Yoonoh had texted you he was on his way, yet, you'd been fighting with the zipper for at least ten minutes. Your fingers were cramping, and the clock was ticking.

Just when you'd finally started to drag the small piece of metal, the doorbell startled you, causing you to let go of it.

“Fuck!” Have you ever felt so desperate that tears start pricking your eyes? Well, that was the exact case happening at the moment.

You opened the door with the salty water collecting at the corner of your eyes, surprising Yoonoh, who was wearing his best dimply smile.

“What’s wrong?” He had a bouquet poorly hidden behind his back, probably to apologize for the night he abruptly left and almost knocked down your door.

“I-I can't zip up my dress.” Your voice came out shaky, giving away the emotions burning your gut. Thankfully, Yoonoh didn't seem to notice, and if he did, he didn't mention it.

“I’ll help you.” He, not-so-discretely, put down the bouquet, gently turning you around to your discomfort. His cold hands touched your back as he dragged the zip up, noticing how tense you were but deciding not to comment on it. “Oh! You haven't moved the book from where I left it.”

“I haven't had time to read.” He hummed, crouching to reach for the bouquet and hand it to you. “Thank you.”

“It’s my way of apologizing for the fit I threw a couple of days ago.” A fit? That was one way to call it.

“It’s okay.” You lied as you pushed the corners of your lips to form a credible smile. “Let’s get going.”

The flowers were left on the kitchen counter before you left. The ride in the elevator was awfully quiet, and Yoonoh had no idea what had happened. You were so chatty the last time he saw you, so of course, he was taken aback by the sudden change.

“It’s not going to take long, so we can head out for some drinks later if you'd like...” You nodded, for you knew speaking would only expose your discomfort. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah! Just nervous about the party, that's all.”

You stood by Yoonoh’s side for the rest of the evening, smiling and nodding at his acquaintances’ comments. At one point in the evening, a man, not much older than you, approached you both with a wide smile.

“Dude, I hadn't seen you in ages. Stop sending your workers and come see me yourself.” They hugged. Why were they hugging?

“Y/n, this is my brother, Sungchan.” The man with puppy-like eyes embraced you tightly, almost as if welcoming you to his family. “Sungchan, this is y/n, my girlfriend.” He said it so naturally, it’d take a detective to figure out the truth about your relationship.

“I’ve heard a lot about you. I'm sorry for your father. But don't worry, we'll take those bastards down.”

“I’m not following...” You blinked repeatedly, eyes going back and forth between Yoonoh and his brother.

“Sungchan is a doctor. I asked him to look at your father's case for further evidence. My assistant was supposed to pick up the report the day we had dinner, but she forgot to drop by. Now we’re a day behind schedule.” The dark cloud surrounding him seemed to be slowly dissipating as you heard his explanation. “This is an important case, and I want to be as meticulous as possible.”

Thank you didn't seem the right thing to say at the moment, at least not with Sungchan standing there, so you simply grabbed his hand, squeezing it to let him know how grateful you were.

To your surprise, he didn't even flinch as he locked your hands together, causing a small giggle from Sungchan.

“Okay, love birds, I'll get going.” He waved you goodbye, making his way to another table where his friend waited for him.

“Can we talk?” You whispered in his ear, afraid one of the numerous attendants would hear you.

“Sure.” Without letting go of your hand, he drove you to a small, private garden just outside the ballroom. “Are you gonna tell me what's wrong now?” His thumb caressed your knuckles with gentle strokes.

“I’m so sorry.”

“What for?”

“I pushed you away at the minimum trouble when you were only helping me.” He hummed as if he already knew about it. “And it will probably happen again, so please, be patient with me. I'm going through-” Your face collided against his chest as his arms draped over your shoulders, squeezing you tightly.

“Call me reckless, but I've wanted to do this for a while.” Your hands hung at the sides of your torso, unsure what to do next. “You can push me away, I'll understand...”

Instead, your palm found its place in his back, rubbing up and down the designer jacket. Your hair started turning messy from the night breeze, some strands striking Yoonoh’s chin as his embrace only grew tighter.

“Let’s get out of here.” He mumbled, crawling the back of your head with his hand. “Sungchan can deal with my father's friends.”

“Are you sure?” His hum vibrated through his chest, making you giggle at the odd feeling.

Once seated in his car, his hand found yours like a magnet, the warmth emanating from it comfortably enveloping your skin.

The calmness of the atmosphere was interrupted by a call from his brother, who seemed to be anxiously explaining something through the phone.

“Just tell him I had a work emergency.” With that said, he hung up, placing his hand back again on top of yours. “Sorry, he said it was urgent.”

“It’s okay.” An unsettling feeling pinched your stomach, but you decided to dismiss it, immersed in the chilly weather of the dark streets.

You arrived at the river, where Yoonoh asked you to wait for him while he bought a couple of beers. It was a sight to see, both of you clad in fancy clothes, barefoot and chugging down can after can.

“I think I like being with you.” You declared, mind fuzzy from the alcohol intake.

“I think I like it too.” The tips of his ears were rosy, revealing he was as intoxicated as you, maybe even more.

“Would you like to visit my father with me tomorrow?” The words flew out of your mouth before you could even realize. Afraid you'd killed the mood, you tried to excuse yourself, only to be interrupted by his lips grazing your ear, placing a timid kiss on your lobe.

“I’d love to.” It was the sweetest peck, no ulterior motives behind it, just pure affection.

“Are we going too fast?” In your drunken state, what you had felt like a real relationship, not a simple agreement. And this sure felt like a first date.

“We’re moving at our own pace, I believe.” He dropped his head on your shoulder, pressing against it to relieve the dizziness clouding his mind. “Are you okay with that? Maybe you don't want to be with an old creep like me, and I'd totally get it. Just don't let me get my hopes up if that's the case.”

“You might be old, but definitely not a creep.” Your fingers combed through his abundant hair as your mind wandered into the future, grateful for the fact that he wouldn't become bald soon. “Or are you?”

“I don't think so.” Anyone who walked by would've seen a couple of goofs, too intoxicated to talk without slurring the words, but you were living in your own, comfy bubble. “I should get you home before it gets too late. Come on, I'll call a driver.” He tried getting on his feet to no avail, stumbling back a little before falling back on his ass.

“My apartment is nearby. You can stay for the night.” You grabbed both pairs of shoes as his arm surrounded your shoulder for assistance. “If you keep supporting your whole weight on me, we're both gonna fall.” People on the street shot you a couple of funny looks, which was understandable since it wasn't usual to see two drunk idiots walking barefoot in the middle of the night.

“How long till-” Hiccup. “-we get there?” His stare seemed to worsen with every step. “God, I think I might throw up.”

“Stop acting like a teenager, we're almost there.”

As soon as you arrived at the small apartment, you sat him down on the little step where you changed your shoes. You left both pairs on the rack, proceeding to put on slippers to enter the house.

“Don’t leave me here!” He whined, stomping his feet like a little kid.

“Just wait for a second!” His attitude was starting to get on your nerves to the point where you couldn't feel the effects of the beer anymore.

You grabbed a rag from the kitchen cabinet and dampened it under the sink. Yoonoh was half asleep when you walked back to him.

“My head hurts.” He mumbled as you sat in front of him, placing his left foot on your lap. “What are you doing?”

“I don't have any slippers that will fit you, and I don't want your dirty feet making my house dirty.” With utmost delicacy, you wiped away the dirt from his toes, noticing the small scratches caused by the gravel he walked on.

He touched your hair while you finished with his other foot, tangling the strands with fascination.

“Done, get up.”

He followed your indications as you guided him to your room, where you laid him down on his side in case he threw up.

“Are we visiting your father tomorrow?” He asked while snuggling under the covers.

“Sure.” You cleared his forehead from the strands falling in it, grazing the soft skin of his forehead. “Sweet dreams, gigantic baby.”

[v171]

Mid Year Book Freak Out, 2022

1. Best book you’ve read so far in 2022

The Galaxy, and the Ground Within, Becky Chambers

Fair warning, you're about to see a lot of Becky on this list. I read all of the Wayfarers books this year so far.

2. Best sequel you've read so far in 2022

Echopraxia, Peter Watts

Surprisingly, one of the Wayfarers books is not the best sequel I read this year. While this book itself wasn't a new favorite, I love the continuation of the story from Blindsight.

3. New release you haven't read yet, but want to.

Lapvona, Ottessa Moshfegh

Just picked this up yesterday. Very nervous to read it, but also intrigued.

4. Most anticipated release for the second half of the year.

A Prayer for the Crown-Shy, Becky Chambers

Love this series and so excited for it to come out soon.

5. Biggest disappointment.

Under the Whispering Door, TJ Klune

This was way too similar to House in the Cerulean Sea for me. This was on my last year's Midyear Freakout post for my most anticipated release... bummer.

6. Biggest surprise.

Summer Sons, Lee Mandelo

I wasn't sure what to expect of this book when it was kind of picked on a whim for a book club read. But I found it to be shockingly relatable to some of my own college experiences, layered on top of an intriguing story.

7. Favorite new author. (Debut or new to you)

None? I don't think I have discovered any new great authors so far.

8. Newest fictional crush.

I don't get fictional crushes..........................

But if I did.

Mike from Murmuration, by TJ Klune

9. Newest favorite character.

Valerie from Echopraxia, by Peter Watts

I find the vampires to be so fascinating in these books as predators that are so highly advanced beyond humans that we are unable to comprehend them.

10. Book that made you cry.

Record of a Spaceborn Few, Becky Chambers

I don't generally cry from books, but this one got me misty.

11. Book that made you happy.

A Closed and Common Orbit, Becky Chambers

I mean obviously. All of her books make me happy.

12. Most beautiful book you've bought so far this year (or received).

The Convalescent, Jessica Anthony

This is a book I read a long time ago and really loved. I recently bought a newer version of the old beat up copy I have. It may not look super pretty, but I find the dust jacket art to be beautiful, and the design of the dust jacket only covering about 4/5ths of the book is interesting. Also the cover has a patterned texture on it, and the moth is gorgeous.

13. What books do you need to read by the end of the year?

UGH. This is supposed to be my year of series, but I'm failing at that. It's a pipe dream, but I'd love to finish Rhythm of War, by Brandon Sanderson, the second two books of the Green Bone Saga, by Fonda Lee, and the second two books of the Poppy War series, by R.F. Kuang.

[agentnushie]

Chapter 1~ a stucky fanfiction (name tbd)

Meet Cute

Fic pairings- Steve Rogers x Reader x Bucky Barnes.

Chapter pairings- Bucky Barnes x Reader.

Warnings: Nothing major. This is basically just an introduction to how the reader is introduced to Bucky. Some mentions of reader being anxious, mentions of masturbation at a young age (15, and it's like two lines). I think that's about it. Let me know if I missed something <33.

Special Appearance: Wanda Maximoff.

Word Count: 2,046.

The blender whirred breaking your daydream. Without your caffeine fix for the day you were still groggy and disoriented. Running your fingers up and down the zipper of your jacket, you wondered how much longer it was going to take for the barista to call your name so you could get out of here and go home to start your Saturday in peace. You had already started to make a to-do list in your head-

1. Clean countertops.

2. Listen to lecture recordings for class.

3. Buy new kitchen towels.

4. Buy-

"A small peppermint latte for Y/N", the barista called. Clutching the cash in your hand you made your way to the counter.

"Thank you, come again."

And with that, you were out of the door. Your apartment was just across the street and so you quickly rushed inside with your favorite winter drink.

No mail. That's fine, you never really received any mail, but your mom was supposed to send you the books you had wanted. Maybe it was just getting stalled at the post office. You made another mental note-

5. Stop by the post office to check on the parcel.

Once inside, you quickly took off your jacket and hung it up by the door. Thank god, Mrs. Arther had told you to turn on your heat before the morning coffee run, so you returned to a toasty warm apartment. You were still in your pajamas from last night, sweatpants and a tank top so curling up on the sofa and pulling the blanket over your feet, you opened your mail, looking through and replying to your friends and family. Your childhood best friend Rita was miserable with her job and was bitching to you about how her boss had wanted her to sort through all his Christmas party invitations and RSVP to each and every one of them only to jet off to Mykonos at the last minute, leaving her to cancel each and every one of them. Your dad had bought a new camera and wanted to know how to zoom in. Your mom had seen a blouse yesterday which she thought you would absolutely lllooovveee (cue attachment). She had also apparently sent you the books you had wanted a week ago, so did you receive them? There were a couple of promotional emails here and there, a few Christmas party invites, and one from LinkedIn. You had signed up a couple of months ago because your internship at the last publishing house was getting too time-consuming and you needed a change of pace.

S.H.I.E.L.D Publishing House is interested in your profile and attached to it was an email asking you to come in tomorrow for an interview. Although no particular job description was mentioned, you were extremely excited. S.H.I.E.L.D Publishing was the biggest publishing house in New York City and where you had wanted to work since you had decided you wanted to study literature at 13 years old. Being in your last year of university, this was probably the best thing that had happened to you all year. You quickly typed a reply accepting the interview and with the 'woosh' of the computer, unknown to you, sealed your fate.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Standing in front of the huge thirty-storeyed building, you felt like you could throw up. This interview would either make your entire life or break it. You were debating whether you should run away and fake your own death, when your phone rang, pulling the brakes on your plan.

"Hi Ri, I'm just about to go in."

"Girl, you are going to be amazing and you are going to get this internship! I believe in you!" Your bestie's cheery voice put a smile on your face. Since you guys were eight, she had always been like this. She could always anticipate when you needed to talk to her.

"You are not thinking about going off the grid again, are you. Because if you get murdered in all your bullshit shenanigans, I am going to hunt your ass down and kill you for not calling me when you needed to talk to someone." Ri threatened.

"No, Ri. I am not going to run away without you, you know that."

"Damn right you won't, who else is going to bear with me for the rest of my life."

"Alright, I gotta go try not to puke my guts all over the floor. Bye bub."

"Bye baby. And remember head high, tits out. Your gonna kill it!"

And with those words of encouragement, you pushed through the revolving glass doors trying not to stumble and fall flat on your face.

"Hello, I have a meeting with Mr. James Barnes today."

The receptionist smiled and handed you a clipboard with various documents.

"Of course, just fill these out and I'll call you in a moment."

You had handed back the forms and were waiting patiently, when Hilda, the receptionist, called you to go up to the 28th floor and showed you to the elevators.

Small dings sounded your ascend to probably the most important moment in your life, other than being accepted to your dream college and receiving a barbie dreamhouse for your fifth birthday. It was on the 17th floor that the elevator first stopped since you had got on. The doors opened to reveal a heart-faced redhead, clutching her bag tightly and shuffling inside with 'tension' written all over her. She looked as though one wrong move and her skin would rip right off.

"Hi," you said, softly.

She looked up and gave you a shy smile.

"Hi."

"I am Y/N."

"I am Wanda."

"So, do you work here, Wanda ?"

"First day. I am kinda nervous," she said tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear. "Do you work here too?"

"Well, hoping to. I have an interview with Mr. Barnes in about six more floors you say, pointing to the LED numbers above the steel doors."

"Well, I am in HR. All the best. I hope you get the job," she said giving you a thumbs-up. "Then I can call you my first friend from work."

"Thanks. Looking forward to being your first friend from work."

Wanda got off on the 25th floor and the click-clack of her black heels faded away, leaving you alone with your thoughts once more.

It's just three more floors. You can do it. No turning back now.

As you were finishing your mini pep-talk, the elevators doors opened once again signaling your arrival at your destination. You stepped out and ran a nervous hand over your silk blouse and buttoned your blazer, smoothening away imaginary wrinkles from your pants (your outfit or you can imagine something else if you don't like this :D), you made your way to the receptionist sitting on that floor.

"Hello, I am Y/N Y/L/N. I have an interview with Mr.James Banes today."

"Just a moment ma'am," the young boy picks up the phone and notifies the man who is about to change your life about your presence.

Putting the phone down, he says, "Go right in."

You smile, muttering a thank you.

You raise your hand and knock on the door gingerly.

A deep voice from the other side of the door ushers you in.

You force your arms to push open the door and step into Mr. Barnes' office.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You know how in movies when a very important scene is being played out, everything happens in slow motion, yeah this was the exact opposite of that. One minute you were looking at a dark-haired man sitting behind a desk, with the New York skyline visible behind him through the glass wall, speaking of the immense power he held, and the next, you were holding his large, warm hand in yours as he shook it welcoming you in. His touch sent electric sparks through your body. You felt absolutely mortified to be acting like such a teenager. You hadn't felt like this since you were about 15 and you had read your first smutty book, Blue Velvet. You had spent the night rubbing yourself through your cotton panties, muffling your sounds in your pillow imagining being ravished. The man looked like pure sex and power. Although he had a strong persona, he appeared friendly enough. Maybe he wouldn't indulge in a heartfelt chat about your favorite rom-coms but he would smile at you if your eyes met across a room at a party. You held your bag carefully and confidently walked to the seat in front of his desk. You were an absolute mess inside ut on the outside you maintained your poker face with only one thought running through your mind- I am going to get this internship.

Bucky had heard a soft knock on his door and called out a 'come in.' You had walked in demurely, but confident as if you were ready to take on whatever he was going to throw your way. You had shaken his hand and made your way to the chair and as you sat in front of him, a soft smile gracing your features, he couldn't help but be impressed. You seemed like a focussed woman, who had achieved quite a bit for being only 23. He wanted to dig beneath the surface and see what was underneath your picture-perfect record.

Bucky was the first to speak.

"So, Y/N. You have quite an impressive resume for someone your age. You are in your last year of your master's at NYU, you were working for Maddison and Third Publishing House as an intern in Marketing and Advertisement, and your previous boss has described you as a driven woman who gets the job done.' Why did you want to study literature?"

"Well, Mr.Barnes, I am a good communicator and I know how to get my point through when I represent myself on the page. I might not be the chattiest person in the room, but I can do a good job of helping change someone's mind if I write someone a speech."

Your answer was perfect from a corporate point of view. Clean, straight to the point with just the adequate touch of dry humor.

Bucky didn't want the perfect, corporate answer. He wanted to know what had driven you into this industry. So he prodded further.

"So, why literature? What you want could easily be achieved through journalism or even marketing."

You had never expected him to ask that question. You had rehearsed your answer to this exact question a million times in the mirror, but You had never expected a follow-up. You thought hard.

"Because since I can remember, I have been mesmerized by the way someone can change your whole life by stringing together words on a page or transport you to entire worlds that exist in their minds and I have always wanted to know what it feels like to be on the other side of it. To be the one creating the worlds and changing lives and making something that people can find comfort in. That is why I study literature."

As you were speaking, your face lit up, your eyes were sparkling and it was as if you were falling in love. The way you spoke about literature and books, made Bucky absolutely animated. It was as if he was twelve again, reading Huckleberry Finn underneath the covers with a flashlight, wanting to experience the thrill of what happens next. That is when he knows that you are who he needs to employ.

A content smile spreads over his face and you instantly know that you have managed to secure your internship.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A couple of questions later, you come out of the office grinning widely.

He offered you the internship! On the spot! You were going to work right underneath him and report to him directly. You were his Personal Assistant/Trainee Executive Editor. The best part was that this internship actually paid fair wages unlike the last one you had, where you had to work over ten hours a day on top of having classes just to make ends meet. Here you were to come in after classes at 12pm and leave work at 6pm.

You started Monday.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(A/N: Hey guys. So this is literally the first fic that I am writing after a brief attempt when I was 14. I hope you guys like it and I know that I stank in some places and dragged on a bit, but I hope you guys will stick through for this series. Also, I promise some smut in the next chapter which I will be uploading in two days' time cause it's Christmas at home. Happy Holidays. Sending you sm love <333.)

[alloftheimaginess]

Tell All

A/n: I cried when I got this request. It literally took me back to being 14 years old writing cringe fanfics on wattpad of one direction and their super stereotypical likes and dislikes lol also before I found out that black people wrote imagines so I was always reading "and Yn brushed her long blonde hair up into a messy bun and decided she looked good and was ready to go about her day, making sure she applied sunscreen because her fair skin burned easily" those were good times. Also changed it up a little reader and Harry stayed together and are in an amazing relationship because who wouldn’t want to be exclusive it’s Harry fucking styles. Also it’s my first Harry imagine so it definitely sucks lol

Warnings: a few swear words, sucky writing and probably a ton of mistakes.

"Let's welcome our guest" Lauren the host says and I run on stage and she pulls me into a big hug as everyone cheers and I hug her back, rocking us back and forth.

"Oh my god, how are you?" I ask kissing her cheek as I pull back.

"I'm so good, super glad you're here" she says.

"You and me both" I say pulling away fully and turning to the audience and I smile at them.

"And how are you all?" I ask and they all cheer so I laugh.

"That's good to hear" I say sitting down and I smile.

"So I have yet to read your book, your tell all as it has yet to come out officially. I'm hoping you could read just a little of it" she says handing me the book I sent her yesterday and I nod opening it to the chapter I want to read from.

"Keep in mind everyone, if you haven't already preordered Yn's book do it. It comes out in four days and I seen online from your official site it’s already sold out" she says and I smile at her nodding.

“Yeah but I’ve partnered with a bunch of stores so if they have books you can buy it. Also I’m donating a bunch of books��� I say and she smiles.

“Really?” She asks and I nod.

“Yeah, with every book bought it’s a meal for a family so I bought out like 3 thousand copies and so that’s 3 thousand families fed and not even to mention all the copies that have been ordered from everyone. So now I have all these books and will be giving them out starting today” I say and everyone in the audience cheers.

“Sounds like you guys are actually excited so I’ll start with you” I say and they cheer even louder and I laugh.

"Ready?" She asks and I nod.

"I'm so nervous" she says giggling and I laugh.

"You're nervous, how do you think I feel? You guys are the first people besides my mom that are hearing anything from it. But the chapter I chose is called ‘Oh No I'm Pregnant’ so we’ll start there" I say and everyone starts screaming in the audience and I have to cover my ears as I laugh, even Lauren is in shock and I laugh waiting for the screams to die down.

"This isn't what I needed at all. The band is broken up, I don't know what to do with myself. We're only 21 and 20 this can not be happening" I read and she leans in smiling at me.

"I remember my thoughts. Maybe this is for the best. Maybe the break is exactly what we needed at this time so I can focus on being a mother, yes this is exactly what I need because now I can give you all of my attention" I read and the pictures of Winnie pop up on the screen and Lauren turns to look at them.

"Oh my god, she looks like Harry!" Someone screams and I giggle behind the book.

"Look at those curls" Lauren says.

"How am I going to tell him? How will he look at me. Will I just be the woman he made an accidental child with that he won't even want? Will he hate me and say it's not his? What will his family think? His family is some of my biggest supporters. We have been together for a while but we’ve never even talked about kids" I read.

"Do I tell him immediately or do I tell him later? I have all these questions and no one to help me answer them" I read flipping the page and everyone is listening while watching videos of Winnie and I, some of them from when she first started walking to now as she's almost five years old and she's in gymnastics doing flips.

"Moving past my doubt of pregnancy. This is called dedicated to Winnie" I say and everyone cheers.

"The minute I heard your heartbeat you took over my every thought. I have to be an amazing mother to you, I have to give you all that you deserve. Then I found out you were a girl. My little girl with a beating heart and I knew your name. As soon as I seen you I knew you were my little Gwyneth" I read and the video pops up of Harry playing the guitar and everyone starts cheering

"We'll be a fine. We'll be a fine line. We'll be a fine line" he sings playing the song on the guitar.

"What are we going to be?" He asks and the camera points towards Winnie who's sat in my lap.

"We'll be alright" she sings bouncing with him to the music.

"Again" he yells over the music and she giggles.

"We'll be alright" she sings through her giggles.

"Why?" He asks still playing the song.

"Because of mommy" she sings to the beat of the song and I tickle her and she giggles doubling over from laughter.

"Because of mummy" Harry sings and I smile at him.

"We'll be alright" he sings standing up and she sings with him and he kisses her head before he quickly pecks my lips and I laugh.

"Holy shit!" Lauren yells as the audience is losing their shit.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up" she says freaking out.

"I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry I know I'm not supposed to swear but how could I not? Did you just see that fucking video? Yn you are going to give everyone a heart attack" she says and she stares at me with wide eyes.

"I can't believe this is real" she says laughing and the audience is still losing their shit and I just laugh through all the chaos.

"You came onto this show letting us think we had the upper hand because you have to answer every question we ask but really you had all the power over us" she says.

"I'm literally crying. Play that back" she says wiping her eyes and they play it again.

"How old is she?" She asks.

"She's four. Almost five" I say.

"What's her full name?" She asks.

"Gwyneth Anne Styles" I say and she covers her face.

"After Harry’s mom? Who all knows about her?" She asks.

"Yes and my family knows, his family, the boys aka Zayn, Niall, Louis and Liam, the food delivery guy that brought me food the whole time I was pregnant from that Chinese food place, the people that help Harry with his albums so everyone in the studio. James Corden and now all of you" I say.

"Harry is a dad. Oh my gosh" she says covering her face and I hear some of the audience crying.

“So are you two like officially together?" She asks and I nod.

"Yeah" I say smiling at her.

"Like dating or marriage because after the news of a whole five year old I can't trust anything else you say" she says and I laugh.

"Just dating, I'm only 25. I'm still trying to figure myself out" I say and she laughs.

"I wouldn't believe that even for a second" she says eyeing me and I laugh.

"Good" I say.

"Good" she says back and then she pauses.

"Wait what?" She asks and I nod.

"What do you mean good?" She asks.

“Ooh that looks like it’s time” I say.

“Uh uh, I need information” she says.

“We have to move on” I say

[neverendingdream111]

Sk8 found family brainrot time

(I've recently finished watching it and I'm in love with this idea)

-> ok I'm a sucker for our catboy Miya, ngl

-> so let's start here

-> imagine it was his b-day, he woke up somewhat excited bc everyone loves this one special day of the year

-> he walks to the kitchen, his parent are eating breakfast and continuing with their routine as usual on a work day

-> his excitement dies slightly bc they didn't even realize he was there

-> it's basically canon at this point that his parents are assholes and care only about his fame

-> so he reluctantly enters the kitchen and greets them, meekly adding that it's his b-day a few minutes later

-> they try to mask their surprise with wishing him happy birthday and saying that they'll buy him a present after work

-> he barely manages to contain the scoff bc he knows they'll probably have to stay overtime

-> turns out he was right

-> he kind of expected it tbh, it's not like they don't do it every year

-> anyway, he went to school like he normally would, and since he doesn't have many friends (if he has any) nothing was out of ordinary

-> a bit gloomy, he came home seeing that no one was back yet

-> so he sat down at his desk and started doing his homework

-> just as he was finishing he got a message from Reki that all of them are meeting at Joe's restaurant before going to "S"

-> he replied with "See you there" and closed his books, going to the kitchen to make himself something to eat (some leftovers from yesterday's dinner and a protein bar)

-> it was dark already when he left

-> when he arrived, it was oddly dark inside and so he called out if anyone was there

-> suddenly, the lights were turned on, blinding him for a second, and in the next he heard a loud "SURPRISE!" along with some popping sounds (prbbly confetti)

-> when he opened his eyes, he saw that the tables were arranged mostly to the sides of the small space in the restaurant, except for one in the middle on which was a cake decorated just like his skateboard with sprinkles on top

-> everyone was standing next to it with grins on their faces

-> he was too stunned to realize he was crying, only noticing it when they started asking him if something was wrong and Reki came closer, seriously worried that something bad happened

-> Miya started furiously wiping his face, but the tears just wouldn't stop coming

-> "s-stupid slime! Of course I'm okay!" he wasn't

-> no one ever, and I mean ever, have prepared a surprise party for him, and the whole situation with his parents just made him more, well, emotional

-> they all just laughed it off and hugged him (family hug!!! they even forced Kaoru, tho he did beat Joe up later for that)

-> Miya even got a small birthday hat with a pompon on top (they bought it as a joke, though his inner child and cat wasn't complaining, especially about the pompon)

-> then it was time for the cake and, after he made a wish, Joe was assigned to cut it into pieces and then they sat down, talking about everything that came to mind

-> they almost forgot about the presentssss!!!

-> Reki gave him some wheels for his skateboard specifically designed by him, along with one or two mini-skateboards that he sometimes plays with

-> Langa, being the confused bean that doesn't really know what people would like to get, bought him a small black and purple keychain in a shape of a cat and a figurine of said animal (when the others asked why, he said that Miya sometimes gives off cat-energy and tho he got an earful from the boy he still didn't change his mind as he should)

-> the best uncle in the world, Shadow, gave him sweets and other kinds of junk food, bc he thinks that Miya should live a little and stop eating those goddamn protein bars

-> Cherry is rich, we all know that, so he got him a new videogame (cue to Kojiro arguing with him, but who's surprised at this point?)

-> and Joe gave him cookies (baked by him obvsly) and some new headphones (even though they weren't from the top shelf, they were good enough to not break in a week of using or so, and also they looked stylish so why not)

-> all in all, Miya was so touched he almost cried again

-> he kind of let it slip that he never had a party like this and in the emotional moment didn't deny that he truly felt grateful for having them

-> yes, that's right, that's Shadow crying while hugging the poor boy

-> this day may have started and somehow turned into one of the worst days in the entire year, but in the end it just helped him realize that he got really attached to these idiots that were now arguing about God-knows-what

-> and he wouldn't trade this family for anything in the world

*cries*

26.04.21

~Nana

[xmint-conditionx]

☆ flanked ☆ ch2 | knj

(verb) flank -

guard or strengthen (a military force or position) from the side.

attack down or from the sides, or rake with gunfire from the sides.

☆ pairing: soldier!namjoon x widow!reader; namjoon x fem!reader ☆ word count: 3.1K ☆ summary: you’re a recently widowed military spouse who is stationed at camp walker, south korea. you’re dealing with the tragedy of your husband’s recent death, and in the process, you accidentally meet a k-pop idol you’ve had a crush on for years. who knew you’d both be at the same post while he’s doing his compulsory service? who knew he’d be so damn nice? who knew it would be impossible to get him out of your head? ☆ warnings: angst, mentions of death, grieving, lots of fluff in this chapter tbh and you might die because dork namjoon has come to the party ☆ a/n: hey everyone c: sorry this repost is a little late; i've been sick the past two days and holed up in bed for the last one. i'm so excited to release this for you and start on the next chapter.

It is 6:05 in the morning, and you are awake. Not wide awake, but awake. You can’t believe you let Namjoon convince you to get up this early, because frankly, nobody has ever convinced you to get up this early. When he said that you’d have to get there first thing in the morning so you can see everything, you really didn’t think he would mean you’d have to get there at 7 AM. It’s always been your philosophy that it’s wrong to wake up before the sun, and you’re finding that getting out of bed in your pitch black room isn’t easy. You’re gonna have to make sure to clarify everything that man says in the future. Ugh, military men, you think.

You groan, muscles stiff as you finally manage to get yourself out of bed.

Bananas is obviously not getting the memo, the only sign of him being his fluffy tail poking out from under the covers. He’s never been into early mornings either.

Namjoon sent you a text yesterday and told you that the exhibit that he really wants to show you requires tickets. He then told you that because they only sell 100 tickets per day on a first come first serve basis; getting in line any later than 7 AM would surely be entirely too late, apparently. The Daegu Art Museum opens at 10, tickets go on sale at 9:30, yet you need to be in line no later than 7? Sure.

He seemed really excited about the exhibit, though, saying that Yayoi Kusama, whoever that person was, was a genius. So… you couldn’t exactly turn him down. Her works were deep and breathtaking and spoke so much about life, according to Namjoon. He had promised it would be worth it, and you thought about that promise as you groggily did your morning routine. Yeah, you thought, it had better be. If only he hadn’t sent too many pleading-eye emojis.

You grabbed your over the shoulder bag and gave Bananas a good belly rub before heading outside.

Despite being almost non-functional this early in the morning, you beat Namjoon to the museum. Gawking at the massive modern building, you walk up to the front doors, where a decent line has already formed. Okay, maybe he was right.

You find yourself a place at the back of the line and just as you reach in your bag to grab your phone to text him, you see Namjoon walking in your direction, long legs making short work of catching up to you. You catch his eyes lingering on your bare legs as he approaches, and for just a moment, you’re glad you chose to wear this skirt.

“Morning, Namjoon,” you groan, leaning up against the museum’s outer wall. More people start filing in line after you, and you’re thankful Namjoon wasn’t too late. “I guess you were right. Look at all these people.”

“Morning, peach,” he says with another one of his dimpled grins, “Glad it’s warming up out? It’s supposed to hit 20 degrees today.”

“Okay, it is entirely too early for you to be this happy,” you say, voice groggy. Namjoon just shrugs.

“Guess I’m just excited.”

You look around the small crowd that has formed and notice that a lot of the people are sitting up against the wall while they wait. You decide to do the same.

“I am too, trust me,” you say, back resting against the cool stone, “I’m just not usually up this early.”

“I see. Maybe conversation can keep you awake. Are there any other places in Daegu you want to see?” Namjoon inquires.

“Well, there is that aquarium I keep hearing about. One of my coworkers on post says that there are mermaids that do a little performance with the fish.”

“Oh! I know which one you’re talking about! I’ve actually been there a few times. I love it there! Fish are so cool.”

“Before I went into veterinary science,” you say, “I was originally planning on being a marine biologist.”

“You’re a vet? I didn’t know that! No wonder Bananas looks like such a happy pup!”

“Yeah,” you say, letting your head fall back, “he really is. But, I really want to go check it out. It’s been a long time since I’ve been to an aquarium.”

“The mermaid performers swim around with a bunch of stingrays. Stingrays are actually not that dangerous, especially if they have the barbs removed from their tails.”

You feel your eyes growing heavy.

“Wow, I didn’t know that.”

“A lot of people think they’re really dangerous because Steve Irwin died from a sting from a stingray, but his injury was a result of the barb piercing his thoracic wall. Most stingray injuries are actually very mild.”

“That’s interesting,” you say quietly, eyes fluttering closed.

“Some people think that cutting down their barbs is abuse, but it’s like cutting off a fingernail to humans. They don’t feel it at all and it grows back over time.”

“Mhmmmmm,” you say as you feel yourself slipping back into sleep.

“It’s the touch tanks that can be a little problematic,” Namjoon continues, oblivious, “Stingrays have a type of mucus that covers their body that protects them from bacteria. If that gets rubbed off, they become vulnerable. A lot of zoos and aquariums are taking plenty of precautionary measures though, like making sure the guests wash their hands before and after they experience the touch tank. In fact, I think that given the proper precautions, touch tanks…”

______________

The warmth next to you feels like home, and threatens to pull you back to sleep. You feel yourself holding onto something... firm and yet so soft, but it’s comforting, so you tighten your grip and nuzzle further in. You then feel a gentle breeze run across your legs and wonder where your blankets have gone. Bananas has probably hogged them all. You breathe in and smell laundry detergent, a little musk and… men’s deodorant? There’s the quiet chatter of birdsong, and an unmistakable trickle of water, and you instantly remember where you are.

Your eyes snap open to find yourself snuggled up to Namjoon, arms hooked around his bicep and cheek against his shoulder. He seems un-bothered by your lack of respect for his personal space; he doesn’t even look up from his book. Like it’s the most natural thing for you to be attached to him like this. Embarrassed, you quickly distance yourself from him and apologize profusely while he just chuckles a bit. He puts his bookmark in to keep his place and turns towards you as you blink yourself awake, tasting the dryness in your mouth. Oh god, you must have had your mouth open.

“It’s fine, peach. I didn’t even realize you were asleep until you started snoring.”

You gasp. “I did not!”

“Oh, you did,” he says, eyeing you playfully, “It was only a little though. And it was really quiet. Kind of cute, actually.” You play hit him in the arm that you had just been latched on to.

“Hey, don’t be mad at me. I bought your ticket!”

“You what?! What time is it?” you ask, scrambling to look at your phone. It was 5 minutes until open. “Namjoon, why didn’t you wake me up?”

“I was going to, but you were sleeping so hard...”

“Well, at least that means I wasn’t all over you this entire time.”

“Oh, no," he says, "you were.”

You groan. “How did you get up and buy the tickets then without me knowing?”

“A man has to have some secrets, you know. Come on, let’s go look at some art.”

The inside of the Daegu Art Museum is stunning. The lobby is bright and open; the sunlight pours into that first room through the large windows, casting a lovely morning light on all of the bright and cheery visitors. Some of the larger pieces are displayed in this grand lobby, some towering ten of feet above you.

“Namjoon, this is beautiful.”

“Just you wait, Come on, first we’ll do classical, then lunch, then modern art. The best one we’ll save for last.”

Classical art wasn’t your favorite, but Namjoon got absorbed in just about every piece. When he saw one that really grabbed his attention, he would sit there gawking at it, mouth open as he read from the little plaque next to it. The way his eyes filled with wonder and widened with discovery at the newly rotated paintings was absolutely adorable. He almost had this child-like wonder about him, eagerly looking back and forth from the plaque to the painting and back again. You almost enjoyed studying Namjoon instead of the art.

You let him take the lead, showing you some of his favorite pieces as you navigate through the galleries. He is definitely in his element here. After he finishes his embellished tour of the classical works, you both decide it would be a good time to break for lunch. The museum has a little cafe, so Namjoon takes care of waiting for your orders while you are tasked with finding a nice spot to spread your blanket outside on the grounds. You see a spot beneath a tree offering up a little shade, so you spread the blanket over the soft grass and take your place, closing your eyes and breathing in the fresh air. Namjoon soon arrives with your food, and settles down next to you.

Before you start to eat, you remove your cardigan, exposing your chest and arms to the air, hoping to enjoy some of the new warmth in Daegu. You hear Namjoon take a sharp inhale, and thinking something’s wrong, you quickly look over at him. He’s got his eyes trained on you, and he swallows hard before he realizes you’re looking at him. He jerks his gaze away, finds something else to look at and shakes his head, as if to clear it. Was he… checking you out?

“Sorry, I thought I uh…” he trails off, “thought I saw a bug. It was, uh, just a shadow.”

“Uh, thanks for uh, looking out,” you say, before a thought strikes you, “Hey, Namjoon. I brought my painting stuff with me today. I was hoping to paint a little while we eat, is that okay? I don’t want to be bad company.”

He perks up, “Oh, yeah, sure. I can just keep reading my book. Hypervelocity stars aren’t going to learn about themselves!”

You set about getting out your watercolor palette, planning on using some of your bottled water to wet your paints. For some reason, you glance back over at Namjoon. He’s sitting with his back against the tree, legs crossed at the ankles, book in one hand, and bao in the other. His eyebrows are slightly furrowed together in concentration, and he lazily takes a bite, not even looking at the bao bun. You hold back a giggle when you see he got some sauce on his mouth. You can’t help but point it out by getting his attention and tapping your own bottom lip. Namjoon studies you for a minute, and slowly licks his bottom lip, almost too slowly. Before you can register what he had just done, he just smiles at you innocently and goes back to reading his book.

This man is going to kill you, so he might as well be the subject for your art. The way he’s positioned himself is just too adorable to ignore.

After getting the basic shape of his outline done and halfway through the details in his face, he stirs from his place under the tree. You watch him as he places his book down carefully on the blanket and walks toward your back, steps ever so gentle. You turn your head and see a little bird hopping around on the grass, and Namjoon is after it. He breaks off a piece of bread from his second bao and extends it towards the bird, who eyes him suspiciously. To your surprise though, it hops forward and takes the bread, chirping up at Namjoon. He goes to sit cross legged on the ground, but doing so ends up startling the bird, who then flies a short distance away on the lawn. Namjoon sulks and pouts a little before getting up and walking after the bird. This is the craziest thing you have ever seen. You love animals so much that you’ve dedicated your career to helping them stay healthy, but this is on a whole other level.

You go back to refining your art, throwing some color into the sky and on the tree, seeing as your main subject has wandered off.

You’re startled when he comes back from behind you.

“How’s the art coming?” he asks, looking over your shoulder at your book, “Hey! Is that me?!”

“Well, it was going to be until you started playing Snow White.”

“Yeah…” he says, looking down at what’s left of his sandwich, “the little guy ate all my bread.”

You laugh a little at him as he frowns at the char siu pork filling barely being contained by the thinnest bun dough you’ve ever seen. Widening his eyes, he downs the rest of the bao bun in one bite.

“Dind youh whanna fhinish youhr phaintingh?” he says, covering his full mouth as he speaks.

“I can finish it some other time. Let’s go see the modern stuff before I want another nap.”

Stepping into the large room that houses the modern art, you take in a sharp breath with how absolutely full it is. Sculptures, paintings, installations; and in the back of the room is a line leading to a small door. You don’t know where to look first, so thankfully your personal tour guide is there to show you the way.

You’re reading the plaque on a minimalistic piece when Namjoon comes and grabs your wrist, excitedly ushering you to follow him. He leads you to the other side of the room where he stops in front of a section of blank wall, gesturing for you to look at it. You sit there and wonder what in the world he could be talking about when you see it. A piece of bright pink gum is stuck to the pristine white wall.

“This wasn't here last time!” he exclaims in a whisper. “I can’t believe this.”

“Yeah, kinda sucks that someone did that.”

“No, you don’t get it. This is an installation.”

“... are you sure about that?”

“Yeah! Look, it's about how such a simple thing can ruin something so large. Like finding a fly in your chardonnay, or there being a hair in your food, or one small imperfection in a person ruining your whole view of them.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s actual trash, Namjoon.”

“Of course it’s actual trash. I don’t think the artist could have gotten the point across without using actual chewing gum. It says so much. It might also be depicting the actual process of tainting something too! Like, how long did the artist chew the gum before they stuck it there? How much time and effort did it take them to ruin this whole wall with their gum? Where’s the plaque?”

As Namjoon searches the nearby walls for a plaque, a janitor comes by and scrapes off the gum, smiling gently at the both of you. You send Namjoon a pointed look, one that’s screaming “I told you so,” and then you both start laughing, having to hold back most of the sound in the quiet of the viewing space.

“Okay, last but not least. You ready?” The two of you were next in line to enter that small door you had seen at the back of the room when you first entered. The lady taking the tickets had already informed you that you would have five minutes once the door shut. You still had no idea what to expect.

“Yeah, I guess I had better be.” The door opened, letting out the museum goer who had just been in there.

Namjoon leaned up to your ear from behind and gently said, “Close your eyes.”

You were about to protest when he continued speaking, placing his hands on your shoulders, “I’ll walk you in there and tell you when to open. Trust me?”

You answered him by letting your lids drop. You felt him guide you by your shoulders as you walked gently forward and then to the right. You could tell that the floor texture had changed from the concrete you’d been walking on all day to something more plastic. You heard the door softly click shut behind you.

“Open,” he commanded softly, and you complied.

You could not make sense out of what you were seeing. The view went on forever, but you could tell that the actual room was so very small. Directly in front of you and on all sides were mirrors, infinitely reflecting off of themselves into the horizon. You were both completely surrounded by them. Scattered around the part of the room that wasn’t the black platform that you were standing on were delicate fairy lights in a cool white tone. It felt like you were floating in a void, so endless and empty. There were specks of brightness, but they did nothing to change the darkness enveloping you. Though it felt infinite, there was a nagging sense of being trapped. Surrounded on all sides. It was beautiful and terrifying to look at. Consumed by everything and nothing. You forgot Namjoon was there until he spoke quietly against your ear.

“This is what I think grief looks like. If it could take a physical form, this would be it.”

He’s right. He’s so right. You’re being swallowed by emptiness. You both are.

You both stand there in silence for the next few minutes, Namjoon’s warmth radiating onto your back, his hands still on your shoulders. Occasionally, his breath would brush against the nape of your neck.

“You really get it, don’t you?” you ask quietly.

“I can’t say I understand what it’s like to lose a spouse, peach. But I understand grief in my own way. I know this sounds crazy, because I don’t believe in any higher power, but I think we were supposed to meet each other.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean... “ he starts, “I just feel better when I’m around you. I feel like a… better person. You don’t treat me like... “ he stops himself.

“Like what, Namjoon?”

“You don’t treat me like other people do. In a lot of ways. That’s... the easiest way to say it.”

You just nod, wanting to soak up these last few moments in this room with him. In this dark space, it’s not so scary to get close. You allow yourself to lean back into him, and he stiffens up for a moment before circling his arms around you.

“We’re gonna get through all of this together,” he says against your ear, “I promise. Together.”

[dolls-and-cats]

December photo challenge, day 12: magic!!!

Y'all, this is the day of the Dollidays I have most been looking forward to!!!

Using tutorials from @desertdollranch, I was able to change poor-condition Kirsten to thousands-of-hours-of-playtime-left Kirsten!!!! That is some magic I am super excited about.

More below the fold.

Content warning: picture of her head separated from her body while receiving medical care

So, several things needed to be done for Kirsten. She had dark gray marks on her nose and cheeks and all four of her limbs. My wife said she looked like an orphan chimney sweep. My guess is that they were hardcore black marker and that the previous owner had made attempts to get them off before selling...so they were gray but pretty dark.

Her hair was matted and I thought would require a hot water treatment.

Her limbs were loose and one leg popped all the way off soon after I got her.

The marks - A few paint-pen marks came off with rubbing alcohol, but the black marker spots have been harder. Kirsten has been out in the sun with acne cream for 5 days now, and the spots on her limbs and nose have come all the way off. The spots on her cheeks are still faintly visible, so I put her out in the sun again today (after taking pics with the reindeer).

I got really worried about some visible circles on her cheeks - worried that I had damaged the paint. But it was just residue from the acne cream! Whew! I had wiped it off with a wet washcloth instead of an alcohol wipe. I was very relieved when the residue shown below came off last night with alcohol.

Hair - I thought she was going to need a hot water dunk like my Kaya, but actually, when I patiently brushed her hair out with water and braid spray, it's totally fine. So no repair there.

Limbs- Her restringing kit arrived yesterday. I tightened three of her limbs using the rubber band method and restrung the one leg that had popped off. (Should I admit that I did all the work of clamping the elastic and the white plastic half-spheres on either side of her hip socket without actually attaching her leg?  :-/ Small but kind of important detail! I had to cut the elastic and start over.)

So we're down to details now. Besides trying to get out the remaining gray, I'm going to sew her some pantalettes, and I bought her a sunbonnet off of etsy. I'm looking forward to printing out the certificates of merit and paper dolls from desertdollranch's craft post. I might sew her a simple Santa Lucia dress too but I have not committed to that yet. Trying to keep this project in the realm of feasibility, amid other holiday projects.

But I'm really, really proud of myself for learning these cool new skills. One bridge I haven't crossed yet in doll repair is eyeball replacement....I had the bad experience with the Molly I was working on. For now I have put her aside for the Kirsten project, but at some point I'll buy more eyes and try again with Molly. (The eye isn't sitting in the head properly and I don't know if that is an eye problem or a head problem. Note to self not to become a surgeon).

I'm going to try to get Kirsten in the mail in a few days for a kiddo who has been reading lots of the AG books and is particularly enamored with Kirsten. I originally thought she wanted Molly, and then my wife clarified that the kiddo most wants Kirsten. Then my wife said "I really don't think it matters". I'm grateful for y'all, AG tumblr, since clearly I live with someone who is #notadollperson.

I remember loving the Kirsten books so much when I first read them (and I recently re-read two of them). I really wanted a Kirsten when I was a kid. I love having the skills to make this happen for someone else. I've been enjoying the doll repair for me and I hope the kiddo who receives her will really enjoy her.

Btw Kirsten can stand so much better now than the standing holiday decoration deer, who kept tipping over while I was trying to take this.......

[lovelystarlings]

Chapter Two - Hermione Granger

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When Camille was a little girl, her mother and father used to tell her the tale of Lily Potter; the woman who saved her son with love, the same son who defeated the Dark Lord and survived the killing curse. Camille never realised that Harry Potter was the same age as her, nor did she realise how young he was when he defeated the Dark Lord. So as she sat opposite him, she gained an insane amount of respect for him.

"I thought Fred and George were just joking around but, god you're him?" Ron spoke, his eyes wide in anticipation as he leant forward at the same time as Camille slammed her book shut and got up, squashing next to the two boys; much to the embarrassment of Ron who was heavily blushing once again.

"Have you got the, um, you know?" He pointed to Harry's forehead.

Harry nodded and pulled his bangs back to show the lightning scar that sat right in the middle of his forehead.

"Is that where the Dark Lord, you know?" Camile uttered out quietly, not wanting to offend the boy in anyway but curious, as any person would be, as to how he survived the ultimate curse.

"Yes," Harry replied, "But I don't remember it very much. Some green light but nothing else."

"Wow," said Ron. He sat and stared at harry for a few minutes than snapped his head back to the window, realising what he was doing.

"So you two must know loads about magic already." Harry spoke, looking at Camille, who hadn't really spoken to much.

"Oh yes," Camille spoke, her hands falling into her lap to fiddle with her cardigan ends, she hated small talk. "In France I was lucky to be tutored by the headmistress of my older sister's school, Beauxbaton's. My mother insisted I wasn't behind with my education, so she had me start reading and learning a year early." She explained, both boys leaning forward, her French accent making it impossible not to listen.

"Though I heard you had to live with muggles, how was it?" She spoke, instantly regretting her question when a look of despair flashed across the boy's face before he covered it with a mask of tranquillity. "Yeah that must have been terrible. My mums got a second cousin who's an accountant, but we never talk about him." Ron began, Camille suspected that the Weasley's were one of the Sacred Twenty Eight, the twenty eight pure-blooded wizarding families, unfortunately the Delacour's were not a part of that twenty eight due to her grandmother being veela and her grandfather being a pureblood therefore leading to her mother being a half blood, breaking the Sacred Twenty Eight rules.

"Muggles are horrible -well, not all of them. My aunt and uncle and cousin are, though. Wish I'd had three wizard brothers or a wizard sister."

"Witch sister actually Harry, if you're gonna be a wizard you have to get the pronouns right."

"Five, actually" said Ron. For some reason, he was looking gloomy, but Camille supposed so would she if she had five versions of Fleur, one was quite enough. "I'm the sixth in our family to go to Hogwarts. You could say I've got a lot to live up to. Bill and Charlie have already left -- Bill was head boy and Charlie was captain of Quidditch. Now Percy's a prefect. Fred and George mess around a lot, but they still get really good mark's and everyone thinks they're really funny. Everyone expects me to do as well as the others, but if I do, it's no big deal, because they did it first. You never get anything new, either, with five brothers. I've got Bill's old robes, Charlie's old wand, and Percy's old rat."

He gently took the rat that had previously been asleep off of his lap to display to the group. "His name's Scabbers and he's useless, he hardly ever wakes up. Percy got an owl from my dad for being made a prefect, but they couldn't aff - I mean, I got stupid old Scabbers instead." Ron's ears went pink. He seemed to think he'd said too much, because he went back to staring out of the window.

Harry began to speak about his experience with muggles, how he had hand me down everything, and how he lived in a cupboard under the stairs, and how his aunt and uncle practically treated him like slave, or rather a house elf, Camille thought. Ron seemed to cheer up at the news that he wasn't the only unfortunate one in the carriage, and when both boys looked at Camille, as it were her turn to share the pity party, she froze. Despite having the perfect life to others, she had suffered from anxiety since she was a child due to an event that she wasn't quite ready to share just yet.

"My parents have always favoured my older sister over me, and it hurts you know. It's always about her, and her feelings, and how she succeeds, and sometimes I feel like I shouldn't be here you know? Like if my parents don't truly love me than who will. I mean they do all these things for me so they look good and fair enough but sometimes I wish they treated me like Fleur, and not some random that lives with them. Even when Fleur's boyfriend rap-" She cut herself off, her eyes beginning to water as she remembered how her parents had treated her after that. Her sister was just a loving as always, but naïve to the hardships that some faced, as she had never faced them herself.

Looking up at the two she felt a hand on her knee, Harry's hand to be specific.

"You don't have to carry on, it's okay." He spoke, Ron nodding in agreement, trying to find something to distract the poor girl.

"Hey look! We're out of London!" The redheaded boy pointed out the window as the trio smiled at the endless evergreen that surrounded them. They were finally on their way to Hogwarts.

Timed past quickly, and at half past twelve a faint knock was heard on the door of the compartment, waking Camille suddenly from her sleep, the book that had been rested on her face banging loudly as it fell to the floor, Camille bending down to pick it up awkwardly.

A smiling elderly woman poked her head around the sliding door gently, Harry and Ron already starting to thorough through their pockets for change. Camille assumed this was the trolley lady. 

"Anything off the trolley, dears?"

Ron made the decision to stay sat down and pulled out a bag of sandwiches that Mrs Weasley had obviously made, the French girl melting inside at the sweetness of his mother. He stared at the girl strangely, as if he expected her to get up like Harry.

"I left my money in the trunk," she shrugged, before going back to her book. She didn't need to eat anyway, as her mother had told her countless times.

Hearing a gasp from Ron, she lifted her head to see Harry return, arms filled with everything you could think off; chocolate frogs, every flavoured beans, blowing gum, pumpkin pasties (Camille's personal favourite) and cauldron cakes. He had basically bought out the whole trolley, making Ron's sandwiches look inferior compared to his full course meal or rather dessert.

"Bloody hell Harry. Hungry, are you?" Camille spoke, but was silent soon after as her stomach chose the wrong to rumble loudly, most likely the result of skipping breakfast and lunch.

"Bloody hell Camille. Hungry, are you?" Harry spoke mockingly, after taking a huge bite of his pasty and causing crumbs to spray everywhere.

"Harry!" Camille scolded, whipping her napkin out of her pocket to wipe off the crumps that had landed in her lap. "You never talk with your mouthful, it's vulgar!" She muttered to herself, Harry and Ron began to laugh at her antics as she furiously wiped her dress down, and threw the napkin onto the seat beside her, stomach rumbling once again.

"Camille?"

"Yes." The girl said frustratingly, blowing a stray hair that had fallen on to her forehead away, looking at the boy who lived in annoyance. She despised bad etiquette. "Would you like a pastry, in return for forgiveness for my devastatingly terrible manners in front of a lovely lady like you?" An annoying tone of confidence dripped from his words as Harry held out his hand, in it a pumpkin pastry.

"Well," Camille spoke slowly, hand reaching over to Harry's, "They are my favourite."

"You too, Ron. I'm not just gonna leave you with a beef sandwich." The boy who lived spoke, pushing a pasty over to the ginger boy. It was nice feeling, Camille thought as the three sat there munching their way through the endless pile of sweets, Mrs Weasley's homemade sandwiches far forgotten.

The countryside now flying past the window was becoming wilder. The neat fields had gone. Now there were woods, twisting rivers, and dark green hills. Excitement built in Camille, making her rather giddy as she thought of their arrival at Hogwarts.

There was a knock on the door of their compartment and a round-faced boy with shaking hand entered. He looked tearful, and Camille felt the need to give him a hug.

"Sorry," he said, "but have you seen a toad at all?"

When they shook their heads, he wailed, surprisingly loud considering they were on a train full of people, "I've lost him! He keeps getting away from me!"

"Well I'm sure he'll come back soon," spoke Camille in a matter of fact way, "We're on a train it's not like he can get far!"

"Yes, I suppose he will." The boy spoke miserably, before leaving their cabin in a hushed manner, heading straight to the opposite compartment, asking them the exact same question he had asked them.

"Don't know why he's so bothered," said Ron, patting the rat on his lap aggressively. "If I'd brought a toad, I'd lose it as quick as I could. Mind you, I brought useless old Scabbers, so I can't really talk."

"He might have died and you wouldn't know the difference," said Ron in disgust. "I tried to turn him yellow yesterday to make him more interesting, but the spell didn't work. I'll show you, look..." He rummaged around in his trunk and pulled out a very battered-looking wand. It was chipped in places and something white was glinting at the end.

"Unicorn hair's nearly poking out. Anyway."

He had just raised his wand when the compartment door slid open again. The toad less boy had returned, but this time he had a girl with him. She was already wearing her new Hogwarts robes, her puffy brown hair and front crooked teeth noticeable. But Camille thought that she was quite pretty.

"Has anyone seen a toad? Neville's lost one," she said. Ah, thought Camille, so Neville's his name.

"We already told him we haven't seen it but we'll let him know if we do." Camille spoke softly, pitying the poor boy, Neville, she corrected herself, who still had tears pouring down his cheeks.

The girl however seemed distracted at the sight of a wand, a smile appearing on her face as she began to step further into the compartment, sitting herself down next to Camille. "Are you doing magic? Show us then." Ron seemed taken aback at forwardness of the brunette girl, who had made herself comfortable nest to Camille, even going as far to rest gently on her shoulder; Camille had found her new best friend.

"Uh-ok?" He cleared his throat. "Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow, Turn this stupid, fat rat yellow."

Nothing happened, and Camille just had to let out a tiny giggle, not noticing the looks she gained from Harry and the girl beside her.

"Are you sure that's a real spell?" said the girl. "Well, it's not very good, is it? I've tried a few simple spells just for practice and it's all worked for me. Nobody in my family's magic at all, it was ever such a surprise when I got my letter, but I was ever so pleased, of course, I mean, it's the very best school of witchcraft there is, I've heard - I've learned all our course books by heart, of course, I just hope it will be enough - I'm Hermione Granger, by the way, who are you." She spoke extremely fast, Camille having issues simply catching her name.

Hermione. Camille thought. That's pretty.

"Oh, w-well thank you I guess." Camille was just about as red as Ron's hair. She hadn't meant to say that out loud.

"Um you're welcome. I'm Camille." She locked eyes with the bushy haired girl, immediately looking away when she saw Hermione was as red as she was.

"I'm Ron Weasley," Ron muttered, his mouth once again stuffed with food.

"Harry Potter," said Harry.

"Are you really?" said Hermione. "I know all about you, of course - I got a few extra books. for background reading, and you're in Modern Magical History and The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts and Great Wizarding Events of the Twentieth Century."

"Am I?" said Harry, feeling dazed.

"Goodness, didn't you know, I'd have found out everything I could if it was me," said Hermione. "Do either of you know what house you'll be in? I've been asking around, and I hope I'm in Gryffindor, it sounds by far the best; I hear Dumbledore himself was in it, but I suppose Ravenclaw wouldn't be too bad. Anyway, we'd better go and look for Neville's toad. You three had better change, you know, I expect we'll be there soon."

[disasterdeacy]

Forbidden Fruit Part 2 Teaser

A/N: here’s the teaser for part 2 of Forbidden Fruit! The book Y/N is reading from is “Lady Chatterly’s Lover” and it’s... spicy.

Warnings: 18+, Infidelity, Age Gap, No Keep Reading bc Mobile Sucks and I’m currently at LAX, also not edited or formatted bc again, I’m at LAX.

"Read to me, if you don't mind"

Brian's words are as soft and gentle as his eyes, making Y/N blush harder than she had the night before.

There was just something so intimate about the way he was sitting with her, arm loose around her shoulder, head nearly leaning against her's.

She couldn't help but let out a little laugh at his eagerness, her heart fluttering like the hummingbird that had been keeping her company all morning.

"Are you sure? You might find this kind of book a little boring."

She's teasing, knowing that the paragraph she was about to start reading was anything but boring.

His laugh mingles perfectly with the calls of a morning bird, making Y/N's blush deepen as he places a delicate kiss to her shoulder blade, voice warm and teasing when he speaks.

"If I'm not mistaken, this little book was banned for obscenity and indecency for 30 years darling..."

His lips are suddenly less sweet, harder, needier...

"So I sincerely doubt that this is going to be a boring read.."

He smirks into her neck, his own heart beating like a bat in a birdcage

"Besides... if it means I get to hear your voice, I could listen to you read a phone book Y/N."

The way he says her name, barely a whisper, more of a plea to hear her voice than anything else.

She blushes hard under his gaze and the feel of his lips on her skin, stammering a bit as she begins to read.

"His body was urgent against her, and she didn't have the heart anymore to fight..."

Her voice hitches in her throat, Brian's teeth had decided to make an appearance as she started to read.

"She saw his eyes, tense and brilliant, fierce, not loving. But her will had left her. A strange weight was on her limbs. She was giving way. She was giving up..."

Brian's hand inched its way from her knee upwards, grazing the delicate skin of her inner thigh.

"B-Brian, what are you..."

Y/N trails off, voice breathless, eyes glassy with arousal. It's not like she didn't want this, god did she want it, but they were on his back porch, and his wife and kids, including her goddamn best friend, could just waltz out at any fucking moment... and she was pretty positive that seeing his father with his hands up his best friend's skirt wouldn't have the most positive impact on Jimmy

Brian chuckles into her neck, his calloused fingers dangerously close to her naked core... fuck, she really should've worn panties.

"I'm going to make you regret what you did last night baby girl... making me cum twice in less than 10 minutes.. giving me your soiled panties to sniff like a dirty fucking slut..."

His voice is so calm, steady, and had it not been for the context of his words, Y/N would've thought that he was just asking what she wanted for breakfast.

"If you stop reading one more time, I'm not going to let you cum honey.. got it?"

For a threat, it was whispered awfully soft and kind, but Y/N understood perfectly and just nodded her head, chest heaving, legs spreading involuntarily.

Her voice is shaky as she continues to read.

"She had to lie down there under the boughs of the tree, like an animal, while he waited, standing there in his shirt and breeches, watching her with haunted eyes..."

Brian's fingers are extremely close to her dripping core now, gently running along the crease of her inner thigh. It takes everything in her body, every single ounce of self control and restraint in her body to keep her from ceasing her reading.

"He too had bared the front part of his body and she felt his naked flesh against her as he came into her. For a moment he was still inside her, turgid there and quivering. Then as he began to move, in the sudden helpless orgasm, there awoke in her new strange thrills rippling inside her."

Brian moans at the words that Y/N was reading, how soft and weak her voice was. Fuck, she was the epitome of an angel, a creature sent to earth to bring good will to man, and based on the way his cock was training against his shorts, begging to be touched by the soft skin of Y/N's hands.

"Rippling, rippling, rippling, like a flapping overlapping of soft flames, soft as feathers, running to points of brilliance, exquisite and melting her all molten inside. It was like bells rippling up and up to a culmination. She lay unconscious of the wild little cries she uttered at the last. But it was over too soon, too soon, and she could no longer force her own conclusion with her own activity."

Y/N squeezes her eyes shut right when Brian's fingers finally slip inside of her sopping wet cunt, the noise obscene and completely out of place against the soft morning glow that was cast against the two.

She keeps reading though, the threat of Brian not letting her cum prevalent and weighing heavily in the back of her mind.

"This was different, different. She could do nothing. She could no longer harden and grip for her own satisfaction upon him. She could only wait, wait and moan in spirit and she felt him withdrawing, withdrawing and contracting, coming to the terrible moment when he would slip out of her and be gone."

Brian can't help but let out a hard moan against Y/N's neck, sucking the area behind her ear as hard as he possibly could, almost as hard as her cunt was clenching down on his fingers. She felt like heaven on a Saturday morning, tight, wet, insanely hot, and unlike anything he'd ever experienced in his 51 years of living.

Her legs were completely spread wide, cunt on display for the whole world to see if they so pleased. Brian had to resist the insatiable urge to drop to his knees in front of the swing and suck the juices that were running down his hand straight from the source... but he knew he couldn't do that, he couldn't risk Anita or any of the kids running downstairs and seeing him eating Y/N's young right pussy.. no, he had to be smart, disciplined..

"Whilst all her womb was open and soft, and softly clamouring, like a sea anenome under the tide, clamouring for him to come in again and make fulfillment for her."

Much like Lady Chatterly herself, Y/N was close, so desperately close to cumming around Brian's fingers, her walls clenching him like a vice, desperate to be pushed over the precipice.

Yet, she never stopped reading, even when Brian's fingers sped up, free hand moving to grope her breast through her dress, and his teeth began to nip at her jugular, she persisted.

"She clung to him unconscious in passion, and he never quite slipped from her, and she felt the soft bud of him within her stirring, and strange rhythms flushing up into her with a strange rhythmic growing motion, swelling and swelling til it filled all her cleaving consciousness, and then began again the unspeakable motion that was not really motion, but pure deepening whirlpools of sensation swirling deeper and deeper through all her tissue and consciousness, til she was one perfect concentric fluid of feeling, and she lay there crying in unconscious inarticulate cri-"

She clenched tight around his fingers, book falling to the ground as her arms reached over involuntarily, wrapping themselves tight around Brian's shoulders, mouth wide no noise escaping her throat despite the obvious throws of pleasure she was experiencing.

She knew it was cliche, to say that she saw stars, that she felt her entire body constrict into itself... but she did, his fingers were still inside of her, pressing hard into her g-spot, prolonging her pleasure.

Brian's lips halted their harsh assault on the young woman's neck, instead opting to place gentle kisses to the area, not wanting to overstimulate her too much.

He couldn't remove his fingers from inside of her if he wanted to, her muscles still clenching him tight as her upper body went limp, her head dropping to his chest, mouth open and heaving heavy sighs against his exposed armpit.

"B-Brian.. I.."

Before she could even get a word in, the sound of pots and pans clanging together in the kitchen caused the two lovers to spring apart, Brian's fingers slipping from Y/N's cunt so fast it made her head spin.

By the grace of whatever deity was looking down on them, Y/N somehow managed to fix her skirt, grab the book, and look semi presentable by the time Emily darted out the door, wide smile on her face.

"Dad! Y/N! Anita wants to know what you want for breakfast."

They both breathed a sigh of relief that it was only Emily, because had it been any other member of the May family, the flushed faces, heaving chests, and general disheveled appearance of Y/N and Brian would've given them away.

Brian just smiles, hiding his glistening hand behind Y/N's shoulders.

"Whatever she's making would be lovely honey, just go tell her to make sure to cut Y/N up some of that cantaloupe we bought yesterday!"

Emily giggles and nods, running back inside to yell her father's words at his girlfriend.

Y/N lets out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding in as soon as the door closes, dropping her book back against the patio as Brian lets out a loud rumbling laugh.

She jolts at the sound before joining him, completely dumbfounded that what had just happened actually happened..

"Mr. May, I swear to god, we're going to get caught if you're not careful..."

Her eyes are wide, full of mischief and excitement.. she loved this, the whole forbidden nature of their relationship, or whatever they could call it.

The risk that they were taking was a big one, and the fear of getting caught was only making her want it more.

Brian just laughs, leaning over to place a chaste kiss on her lips, hands moving to cup her cheeks.

He winces a little when he realizes that his fingers are still wet with her cum, frantically pulling them away from her to try and wipe them on his shorts.

"Shit, I'm sorry love, you probably don't want that o-"

His words are cut short when Y/N reaches forward with lightning quick reflexes and grabs his wrist, pulling his soiled fingers into her mouth where she licks every single drop of herself from him, eyes never leaving his.

Brian almost cums right there, watching this beautiful young woman do something that he hadn't seen done in 30 years.

He lets out a little whimper, making the young woman smile when she grazes her teeth over the long digits as she moves to stand, her free hand reaching into Brian's shorts, squeezing his cock before turning her back and walking towards the patio door, pausing for a second to send him a teasing wink.

"Be a good boy today Mr. May..."

Tags: @meddows-taylors @toomuchlove-willkillyou @brianmayoucease @leah-halliwell92 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @mariekuuuuuh @unofficialbillnye @stephydearestxo @goodoldfashioned-rogerboy @danamaleksworld @dereones98 @glasgowkisschelseasmile @awkwardangelshezza @bellamy1998 @psychosupernatural @warren-lauren @womanwithahotdogstand @oujiacallme @simonedk @queen-see-ya-in-valhalla @sam-mercurry-sixx @toomuchtellyneck @asgardianvamp21 @crazylittlethingcalledobsession @amore-libre @marvelstuck @softboydeacon @a-queen-on-her-throne

[boydykegenius]

im going to take a moment to ramble about how much i love this musical. again, no one has to read this.

I've always loved history, and women in history. I think I've always secretly had a soft spot for Henry VIII six wives, despite the fact I was always told they were evil to him since I was ten.

the first time I ever heard anything good about any of the six wives was also when I first heard about Six. it was in our first lesson on our Elizabeth I topic last year, and we were doing a brief rundown of the Tudors. my history teacher last year, told us about how intelligent Anne Boleyn was and how strong headed she'd been, and shut down all remarks of her purely being a gold digger. Anne Boleyn had always been my favourite.

During that lesson a boy in my class asked if my teacher had heard of Six, a musical about Henry VIII six wives. I noted it but didn't listen to it at the time.

Then a week or two later, my friend was singing 'think about it maybe XO baby' and said it was from Six. I said that *boy in my classes name* had mentioned that. she said I should listen to it and she thought I'd like it.

Shockingly, I listened to it that night. I've always been bad at listening to musicals, but idk what made me. by the time it got to 'everybody always talks about that but never Henry's little... prick up your ears' and I was sold. I told my friend who had mentioned it that I was in love with it then.

After that, it was all I listened to. Literally. I've been listening to beetlejuice very recently but it was literally all I listened to for months.

I'd be excited to get home from school because I could listen to six. I'd watch YouTube on my laptop with my headphones over one ear and my earphones in the other with Six on my phone

I didn't want to become obsessed with the cast or anything, I searched it on Tumblr once and saw that someone's pfp was Millie and thought 'that must be one of the cast members' but I didn't want to be obsessed.

the night after I listened to it I watched the one show performance. I fell in love with Millie.

the Monday I listened to it was the Monday after west end live. I also watched those. and the one from 2018. yeah I was obsessed with the cast. oops ig

I watched megasixes before getting up in the morning. it was the first musical where I felt genuinely upset that I wouldn't be able to see it. it felt so supportive, especially when I found out Aimie and genesis were dating

the day of London pride, on Aimie and Courtneys takeover, I saw that Courtney was dating a girl. my heart was so full. it was almost an extra reminder that as a lesbian I could be happy with a girl in the future.

I'd fallen in love with the entire cast, I thought they were so incredible, and although I was so excited to see new actresses taking on the roles (and I still am I cannot wait to see Courtney and Danielle and all the new alts) I thought I wouldn't be able to see it before the cast change and see the cast who I loved so much

then when I was given some holiday money, my first thought was that I'd be able to afford six tickets. my friend agreed that if I got her a boyfriend she'd come and see it in London with me. she has a boyfriend (not by my doing though) and I've seen Six on the west end. win win.

I bought tickets in mid july and I was ill when I booked it, for the 4pm show on the 12th of October, bc they were essentially the only tickets before the cast change. I couldn't jump around but I swear I would have if I could.

I was so excited and it was still all I listened to. I had a countdown which was about 63 days from when I booked it.

by this point I proper loved Courtney and I really hoped she was going to be on when I went. the Thursday after I went back to school, on a fan accounts story I saw a tweet. I was seeing Courtney's last show.

I'd seen the megasixes from graces last show and cried. I cried for 45 minutes when I found out I was seeing courtneys last show.

yesterday, my dreams finally came true. I saw six the musical on West End. I saw Courtney's last show. I saw Millie O'Connell live. I met the cast I love so much. I hugged Courtney Stapleton. I sobbed through Heart of Stone. and Ex-wives. and Six. I got my own megasix.

today, the 2018-2019 cast reunited and sung together for the last time. I think what I'm trying to get at is what these girls have taught me is unexplainable. I know that somewhere, although I've never believed in the afterlife, that the six wives of Henry VIII are watching their stories being told, properly, for the first time. Six may not be 100% perfect, but it's given them a chance to reclaim their stories.

I love this show. I love these girls. and I know this may seem so over the top but I wanted to vent all this somewhere so at least I could ramble.

[jacks-future-hearrts]

Morning, 1 March 2022

Hi! I'm feeling happier than I've ever been in a long time!

Party because I just received my yearly bonus + my salary so I've been buying stuff a lot. So it's mainly my source of happiness. I also have a long weekend off because there was a national holiday yesterday! Best feelings ever!

Of course there's a down side to it, I'm on my period throughout the whole week so I can fully enjoy my time but the things that I got kinda compensate for it. I bought my monthly necessities of course, then I got a whole bunch of manga!

dgot Jujutsu Kaisen and Gokushufudo. Jujutsu Kaisen here, only exists up until the 5th volume. I think they haven't translated it yet to Indonesian. The english volumes are pretty updated compared to it but it's so much more expensive I rather move the money to other novels that I want. I'm so happy that I also got Gokushufudo but when I read the first volume, it's exactly what it is in the Netflix adaptation. It's still a cool thing to collect though!

If you're wondering why my bookcase is so empty, it's because I just built another one and this is my new bookcase! I have two bookcases now. I bought it on IKEA and only yesterday I managed to put it together with my mom. It was so fun and it gave me some kind of accomplishments.

Now, I'm at work hour but I think I'm gonna sneak some time to put books on it! I'm so excited for it. Also, I bought a new book and it's going to arrive around 10 - 19 March. It's a book called Resurrectionist. It looks like those anatomy books that you have when you were children but it's "supposed to" be made by this mad scientist who mixed human body parts with something to create a replica of an anatomy of mythical creatures. I'm so curious because from what I've seen on google and Tiktok, it looks super amazing.

One thing that scared me nowadays is just that I think my eyesight has gone bad again. I'm scared to tell my mom about it and to be honest It's not bugging me that much either when I'm looking around my house. It's just when I need to see super far when I'm in the car and have to look for names on the side road, it's kinda blurry and not as clear. I think it's because my bad habit of staying up late and playing my phone with the lights off. I really have to stop that but it's just that I can't sleep at all if I don't do that.

Night, 1 March 2022

What seemingly to be a good day turned sour in the afternoon when my manager suddenly asked me to conduct a training next week. Ever since that, my heart keeps beating so fast. I'm panicking over things that's supposed to be 6 days away from me. I'm so scared.

I'm also reminded by that one story from the sales division, she posted something that she's been around the IT industry for so long, she's been scolded by her previous boss. So loud that it can be heard from the third floor. And one thing that caught my attention was she said "Bukan mental manja asal kerja" which translates to I'm not a spoiled kid who has to work for the sake of working. I feel slightly offended by that but I also get what she means.

She's an ambitious person and have a pretty strong will. I'm pretty sure she has dreams as well. But I can't say the same for myself. I'm pretty young, not much of an experience in any kind of things. I work for the sake of working, because it's just what I have to do after school. I hate it but then what more can I do? There isn't much anything to do for human after school. It's just an endless distraction until you grow old and eventually passed away.

I don't have a reason to work like most people but I'm sure that I'm not going to be an obstacle to those who do have dreams. It's unfair to them. Now I'm panicking again for that training I'm going to do next week. I want to cry as much as I can but it just doesn't slow my heart rate or distract my mind from spiraling there.

I did read a book since 6 pm (it's currently 22.18 pm). It's A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara. I'm on that part where Jude just got adopted by Harold and Julia and everything seems to go well. There are som parts where Jude went through a hiccup but he always has his friends around. I love that his friends are so supportive of him and what he's going through.

I know this is a sad book and I feel doomed already for caring and loving the characters way too much because I've seen some spoilers on how it ends. But I still can't help myself for wanting the best for them.

Anyway, this part made me laugh so much. JB could be annoying but he's also fun!

I think I'm going to try to sleep now. Or worst case if I can, then I'm gonna listen to Magnus Archive. I wish I have something to ease my anxiety, it's so tiring. Wanting to cry, but I can't. All I feel now is just fear and I don't know how to dismiss it. It's so tiring.