#i can fix him guys (he has made choices to better himself and really i have little impact but i think i am helping and i'm glad)

[spaghett-onaplate]

kinda wish this one guy was gay

[loverboybrightsideghost]

i love house and wilson's relationship so much i'm obsessed with it. they each developed opposite defense mechanisms: wilson is a nice guy to anyone and everyone so he can keep everyone around him happy even at his own expense, so he can never fail them. house is an asshole to everyone so they can't get close to him, so they can't hurt him. but then they meet, and since they're each other's opposites, their whole "i'll be nice/i'll be a dick" doesn't work on each other. in the end house and wilson are the only people that can ever fully, forget care about, but know each other– but of course they care about each other a whole lot too. wilson can really be an asshole (and honest) to house which he can't be with almost anyone else, but wilson is the only person house will truly be kind to (or at least the only one who he hasn't and won't be pushed away).

[herozdiary]

Hellooo 👋 I know you’re busy with other requests but I can’t help with this idea

With hyperpink girly reader (gender neutral Ofc or your choice) though they may seem mean to others but is really nice to Simon, very affectionate to him (covering his face with pink lip gloss marks) , and protective too. Chase Simon’s bullies away with their neon pink platform heels.

I’ve been obsessing with pink x emo dynamic

Take however long you want!! Thanks for reading this and I hope you’ll have a good day/night ✊

Bubblegum

Simon x reader

This diary entry contains…established relationship | Talk of poor mental health | mentions of bullying | reader is a icon | Simon is just Simon | just the two of you being cuties | slight obsessive behavior

Simon was a loser and you were the popular icon of the college you both went to.Your style was so pretty and colorful,Mostly pink but any color would fit you.

You met Simon on your first day when you needed help finding the girls restroom to re-do your lip combo.He instantly fell in love with you.

He soon enough made a big enough of move to get closer to you and you guys ended up getting close to each other to start dating blah blah blah!

Once you guys got close enough he confessed about how he was struggling with poor mental health and was a main target for bullying.

You never liked them.You use to be a target for bullying until you kinda just snapped and told them off.You were left alone after that and ever since then you been helping people who get bullied.

You sat on his bed as he cleaned up his floor.You had came over to listen to him vent and to help him with some English because he needed an idea of what to write.

“People are so shitty sometimes Simon,but you gotta ignore them and show them you don’t care! They’re just a bunch of self projecting losers”You say while fixing your digital camera.

Simon nodded before shrugging.He didn’t have the confidence like you did.You made yourself known while he kinda just stood on the side lines and supported you.”come here”you say gently as you place your camera on Simon’s windowsill.

Simon got up from his spot on the floor and made his way towards you.he sat next to you before staring into your eyes.You grab the sides of his stubble covered face and plant small kisses all over his face.

You had applied some cute pink lipgloss a couple of minutes earlier so you left sticky lipgloss kiss marks.You giggled at your work before grabbing your camera and snapping a quick photo of Simon.

He started down at your lap before smiling.”You’re so so so so soo handsome babe.Im kinda glad some girls don’t you like you because now I can have you all to myself!”You joke as you place a couple more kisses on his face.

Simon feels his face get red as he hides his face in his hands.Girls never were into him as much as your were.He had Sophie yeah but Sophie only saw him as a friend

You were different.unlike Sophie,you didn’t leave him but you stayed with him and comforted him.When Sophie rejected him and made up the excuse she had to go,You stayed with him the whole entire night listening to him vent.

Simon and Sophie are still I guess you could call them friends but he doesn’t talk with her anymore as much.He has you!When Simon does talk to Sophie he mostly talks about his life and how you made it much better.

People still don’t know how Simon was able to get with someone like you.You were a likeable,bubbly and a talkative person unlike Simon who was like the complete opposite,but they do say opposites attract.

You sometimes would even chase them off,it didn’t matter what type of shoes you were wearing you could run in 6 inch heels and still look flawless spewing out curses word at a bunch of losers who were picking on Simon.

Sometimes Simon would help with picking your outfits!he didn’t have much fashion sense when it came to himself but when he came to you,He knew exactly how to dress you.

“Ok Simon!I have this cute baby pink crop top or should I wear the baby blue one?”You ask while showing your boyfriend the two shirts.Simon did a quick scan off both shirts before looking at the skirt you had picked out.It was a black,pleated skirt with small rhinestones on the belt loops.

“I feel like you should wear the blue one.I think it would go good with the skirt your gonna wear”Simon said while going back to messing with his camera,

You nod as you toss the pink shirt back into the closet before smiling at Simon and thanking him for his help.Not only was he such a cutie but a big help when it came to styling you.

He was the only male you would trust picking out your outfits.Sometimes the two of you would match if you were able to convince him.it would take a couple minutes of begging but sooner or later you would make Simon have matching pink themed outfits!

Even if he found it absolutely ridiculous,As long as you were happy he was even more happy.

[tenjikubaby]

i say let them cook 🔥🔥🔥

I have returned from the dead. Happy Izana and Mocchi anime debut + other Tenjiku member crumbs! Here, have a post that has been cooking in my drafts. 

RAN

Ran, cooking for himself, would go for easy, “lazy” recipes if ordering takeout wasn’t an option. If he’s cooking for you, though, he would want to impress. He’ll browse a bunch of recipe lists on his laptop and pick the most impressive-looking dishes thinking that cooking them “can’t be that hard.”

Goes on a trip to the grocery store for fresh ingredients, but soon finds out, after procrastinating his cooking that a) he got the wrong condiment/spice, or b) got the wrong cut of meat, or c) forgot a very important ingredient so Rindou kinda just finds his usually calm brother panicking in the kitchen because he doesn’t really want to disappoint. He soon regrets ever appearing because Ran sends him to the grocery store to get the right ingredients. 

Rindou’s troubles did not end there because Ran had him help out in the cooking process when the guy just wanted to play video games.  “Rindou, which one is the cilantro again?” “Rindou, slice the carrots.” “Rindou, why aren’t the slices even?” “Rindou, this is too salty. I think you oversea—” and poor Rin kind of just loses it.

RINDOU

He and Ran have the money to constantly eat out or order takeout, but ever since Rindou started following a diet, he’s learned to cook healthy dishes for himself. He’ll probably want to fix up something healthy for you too. What can I say, he cares about your health! Might actually scold you if he finds out you’ve been eating fatty stuff too often.

Rindou proposed the idea to you without thinking and didn’t expect you to agree so now he has to deliver! The pressure he feels to perform is no joke--like Ran, he would rather eat coal than disappoint his expectant S/O.

He’s a decent enough cook, more okay with getting his hands dirty than Ran. He’s no Kakucho, but he gets along just fine. If he can make food that’s edible and nutritious, then that’s good, right? But because of you, Rindou finds himself watching a bunch of how-to videos before the day of the house date.

Will be over the moon if you liked what he made! Eats up the praise and feels really good about himself. Does a dorky little fist pump and a deep sigh of relief once out of your sight. 

SHION

Shion always goes for fast food/junk food if not eating over at someone else’s place or bullying people into giving him money for food. This guy cannot cook. He’d have to ask for help from another S62 member for this. He tries to ask Mocchi, Mucho, Rindou, and even Izana but they all just refer him to Kaku. Shion would rather die before asking someone younger than him for help. I mean, Kaku is already stronger and better than him at fighting and he’s bitter about that. It takes you telling him that you’re looking forward to his dish that he finally gives in, swallows his pride, and asks for help.

Shion was a difficult student. He’s the type to keep insisting that he already knows all the procedures and cooking terms only to fail at them horribly. It takes all of Kaku’s patience for them to get through the recipe. 

When he gets something right, Shion starts to idealize cooking. He imagines himself finding a new passion in cooking, imagining Gordon Ramsay praising his dish, and running his own restaurant but this all stops when Kaku tells him to fry an egg.

IZANA

If he’s feeling stressed about preparations, the other Tenjiku boys have no choice but to help or else he’s going to make it everyone’s problem. They can even pinch stuff from your feast if they want.

Probably saves a bunch of recipes and has trouble deciding which ones to cook for you because he wants to make them all. Kaku helps him settle on a few easy dishes (”No, Izana. We can’t make Risotto. That’s difficult for beginners.”)

I’d place him at a spot higher than Rindou and Ran if we were to rank them all. Izana doesn’t really need that much help figuring out how things are done if he’s never done them before. Would feel more confident attempting to experiment in the kitchen. Has a thing for decorating too.

To buy ingredients, he would use his gang money to get everything he needs. For you, he’ll go for fancier/pricier than what he usually gets for himself. Would not just cook one dish as well. Would make up an entire feast for the both of you. Likes a dinner date with lights and everything. Might even play his guitar for you or put on a movie.

KAKUCHO

You don’t even need to ask Kaku to cook for you because he’ll want to do it the moment he falls in love. Anniversaries are where he’d prepare a whole candlelit dinner for the two of you. There’d be a full-course meal consisting of food you both enjoy.

Like Rindou, Kaku can be health-conscious (though I’d say Rindou is stricter on himself), and would want to make nutritious stuff for you. He’s got this double standard where he’s okay with eating really unhealthy food from time to time but doesn’t want you to do the same.

He’d be more prepared than the others. Kaku takes note of any allergies you may have, or ingredients that you love/hate. He knows how to deal with picky eaters too. If you hate some veggies because of their texture, then he’ll find a way to make them you-friendly.

MOCCHI

I headcanon that he goes to the gym with Rindou and Kaku and has traded recipes with them once in a while though Mocchi would eat anything from healthy to unhealthy, because he can “work it all off” anyway.

Mocchi’s a great cook. His dishes are more of the homey, hearty comfort food type. He learned to cook from his mom, so a lot of the stuff he makes were recipes learned from her. It’s also kind of a way for him to share his childhood with his loved one/s.

If you like corn like he does, then good for you! He’ll find a way to put corn in any and every dish he makes. For him, you just can never go wrong with corn. But if you don’t like corn, he’d be unable to comprehend that fact for a while before deciding to adjust his recipes for you.

MUCHO

Mucho would be great at desserts. He dreams to run a cafe someday, so he has learned to cook and bake and make coffee early on. In fact, I think he’d make you try a lot of these recipes before putting them on his future cafe menu. 

He takes this all really seriously and it’s endearing. He asks for your constructive criticism after you try the food and makes sure to create a good ambiance where you’re eating too. To top it all off, he’ll even play some relaxing instrumentals in the background!

Each dish in the meal complements each other wonderfully. He selects the perfect side dishes to go with what, and the perfect drink and dessert to go with it all. It’s such a well-planned meal and you can tell he really put thought into it. 

There is a soft smile on his face as he watches you enjoy the food. He’s a big Acts of Service guy, I just know it. 

[never-forget-viva-la-pluto]

HOUSE MD SPOILERS below the cut

I just LOVE the ending. I hate it, but I love it and I want to talk about why it was actually so fucking good.

Tbh I love that Wilson, not House, is the one diagnosed with cancer.

Like it would have been so easy to end on the tempting note of House's actions having consequences and his drug use wrecking his body to the point of precancerous conditions that manfiest into the death he craved and nearly saw several times in the series, but they didn't. They could have given the character who is too disabled to exercise and has a diet of drugs and alcohol the cancer, but they didnt.

They said, no, the one who eats well and exercises regularly gets cancer. The one who blow dries his hair every morning and never does drugs(except the times he was roofied by House) and takes care of himself is diagnosed with terminal cancer and there is nothing to be done.

Because that's how cancer is. You can be in the best physical and mental shape of anyone and still lose to cancer, and fast. Sometimes the guy who eats nothing but fast food and has never checked his bmi will be the one whose organs last longer than his friend who eats balanced meals everyday and never done a thing to harm his body. Because that's how cancer is.

Cancer doesn't spare you because you're supposed to be the Watson to his Sherlock. Cancer doesn't spare you because you're an oncologist. Cancer doesn't spare you because your friend is the one who does drug and youre clean. Cancer doesnt spare you because all your meals were homecooked and made with your body's health in mind.

In this story, Sherlock fakes his death so Watson won't have to die alone. Because even the best detective is rendered useless in the face of his best friend's cancer.

I love that the story stuck to its guns and shot Wilson in the dead center of his clavicle.

Because "Cancer is Boring".

For a show that never stops trying to one up itself every episode to come up with the most insane medical conditions, ending it with the patient being Wilson, and the prognosis being simple, boring cancer was the best choice I think they could have made even if I hated it.

Because I wanted Wilson to live, I wanted House to turn around and find some crazy thing that would mean he is okay and it never happened. Wilson was just going to die, because it's cancer.

Simple and boring, but heavy and painful. I wanted Wilson to live, just like everyone who has lost a loved one to cancer wanted them to live, for a doctor to find something else and make it all better, but that's not what cancer is.

And for it to end on that note, really solidified this show in my brain as one to be remembered. Because, despite everything in the series, all the metaphors to geniuses and God and brilliance and remarkable feats, this show is true to itself to ALWAYS cut House down to a broken man again.

He gets his old flame back, and he still loves her, but it won't take long for that to end bitterly.

He does experimental medication, it fixes his pain and he can do the thing he loves again(running/jogging) and he ends up broken in his bathtub pulling tumors from his leg and ultimately has to call someone to help him.

He gets goes to rehab, gets clean, and wins the love of the main female lead, but he falls off, he gets suicidal, he loses her, and then he goes to jail.

He helps people while in jail, then he gets out of jail, he fixes his relationship with his best friend, he helps people at his old job, his best and only friend is diagnosed with terminal cancer, he lands himself in a burning building while tripping hard and takes that chance to throw everything away for this friend who will only be with him a few more months.

At the beginning, middle, and end of the show it really says "God doesn't limp."

Dr. Gregory House is just a man.

[spaghettificationandpretzels]

A Gentle End

The last chapter of this was posted almost a year ago, and it's been a few months since I've posted. The truth is, life has been rough and I got a round of feedback that totally ruined my confidence so I'm taking a while to get back on the horse.

The final part of the Give Me Shelter

Contains: Angst, violence, answered questions.

1.9 K words

What is better than happy ever after?

Things had taken a turn for the better since that fateful day at the garage. The space that sometimes seemed to fill the house when he was home from a rough day was gone, replaced by the quiet of acceptance and understanding.

Right on cue, the door swung open, and Happy greeted the dogs before throwing off his shoes and walking over to you for a kiss. "How was you run dear?"

He smiled. "Good," there was a pause and he broke your gaze. "I didn't get any more info on who sent that text, it's starting to feel like we're never going to find out."

You sighed. "We've talked about this, I don't care who sent it."

You had been going back and forth for weeks over it, Happy was convinced that finding out who was behind the mess would fix everything, but you knew that once he opened that can of worms, there was no way to close it. Jax was acting like nothing happened, but given Tig's apology for leaving his phone unattended, you knew something was happening behind the scenes.

Happy flopped down on the couch, clearly ready to debate the matter again. "Well I do. I can't have someone fucking with my old lady, it just ain't right."

You knew you had to let it go, had you really asked, Happy would have dropped it, but the others wouldn't and for all his dysfunction, Jax still had some morals. "Fine, but I'm not going to be upset if you never get to the truth. I want to move on with life."

You sat next to him and leaned your head on his shoulder, and Happy reached up to stroke your cheek. You knew that now that the guns the drugs were done, things were going to calm down but the months between knowing the truth and the present had been rough and you were both tired.

"It's going to be alright little girl, I promise."

****

You awoke to knocking on the door, the dogs barking and Happy's arm slung over your naked back, you gave him a push and he groaned before rolling onto his back and rubbing his face. "That better not be one of the guys."

Happy, ever the quiet one, rubbed your leg lovingly then got up and headed towards the door. "Can you put some pants on please?"

He grinned and slid on a pair of black sweats before heading to the front door. You debated getting up to greet the interrupter but Happy made the choice for you when he called through the house that it was Juice. You threw on a robe and met them in the hallway. "You want some breakfast?"

Juice nodded with a smile. "Yes please, you got turkey bacon?" Of course you did, Juice was there enough that you always had some in the fridge.

He made himself at home as you got the food together and Happy went outside for a smoke. By the look on his face, you knew he wasn't there to deliver good news, Jax probably sent him because he knew you and Happy would take bad news better coming from his mouth.

Happy came back in and pecked your cheek before sitting next to Juice at the counter. "What are you doing here Juicy?"

Juice sighed and rubbed his face. "I know Jax promised you the weekend but Arizona will be here by six." Jax was right, there was no way you could say anything to Juice's puppy dog eyes and guilty face.

You sighed. "I'm sure Gemma will want help setting up the party. We'll have breakfast then we'll head off." You were really hoping to have a quiet day with Happy, maybe go to the park and get the dogs some pupcreams from the ice cream truck, but it seemed the ever problematic Arizona had other ideas.

"You sure you're alright with this little girl? That was a new thing too, Happy had been turning down the club a lot and more and more, and you believed that if you asked, he'd leave in a heartbeat.

You nodded. "Yeah, I gotta get out of the house anyway, this all the work at the shelter I haven't had much time to socialise." You sighed. "Breakfast first, then we'll whine about our lost lazy weekend."

****

The party was in full swing now and the conservation was easy as you sat in Happy's lap with a beer in hand. Arizona was milling around but things were strangely calm, until the biggest asshole of Arizona decided to approach the group. Nothing worked on him, the first time he had a go at you was after you brought the piglet to T-M and Happy beating the shit out of him changed nothing, nor did Juice punching him in the mouth after the next comment, when he said something horrible about the little tripod puppy that you had brought with you one day.

"I guess you're still hanging around." He was as smug as ever and a quick look at his chest showed why, despite everything, he was now the road captain.

You gave him a nasty smile and shot back your reply. "Yep, like a bad fucking smell, can I help you?"

Happy was tense at your back but he knew to let you handle it until it really crossed the line. "Nah, I was just curious about where your latest pathetic thing was. Did you get sick of playing Mother Teresa?"

There was no point in arguing, he was just being an asshole so you turned back to Jax and picked up where you left off. He didn't seem to like that because he spoke even louder, enough that everyone close could hear. "You really are bent on staying around, aren't you? I thought after you saw all that shit at the garage, you'd be out of here, maybe I should have given you more credit."

The statement struck you as odd because you didn't remember seeing him there that day, in fact, only one Arizona man was, the other had left ten minutes before to follow up on a lead. When you said as much, he tried to backtrack but the lie that someone told him fell flat, there was no way anyone would mention a witness.

You stood up, leaving room for Happy to jump in. "Did you take Tig's phone and send that text? Don't bother lying, it's pretty obvious that you did."

He crossed his arms over his chest and chuckled coldly. "Yeah I did, but hey, you're still around, so maybe I was wrong about you."

The room had gone silent and there was a chill in the air that could have frozen hell. "Are you saying you put the club at risk of capital charges because you wanted me to break up with my boyfriend?"

It seemed the oh shit moment came hard and fast because his eyes went wide before he collected himself and tried to recover. "I knew you wouldn't tell anyone, I just wanted Hap to know what you were really made of."

Happy was shaking with rage behind you but given the looks on the member's faces, this was more than just a matter between brothers now. Jax stood up, his face hard as stone and looked at you. "Go home y/n, please." You thought about refusing but Jax was mixing a thinly veiled demand with manners, you knew it was serious.

You pecked Happy's cheek and his only reaction was the slight turn of his head towards your lips before his eyes were back glaring daggers at the man. Jax shot a look at the prospect then back at you. "Call Rat if you need anything. I'll have your old man home before bedtime, don't worry." He turned to the group. "Church now." 

You gave him a slight smile and walked towards the door, placing your hand on Happy's shoulder as you went. "I love you."

You didn't even meet your eye. "You too."

****

The door swung open but when you looked up, it was Chibs with his hand on the nob. Happy walked through and smiled at you and when you got a look at his hands, it was clear why you heard a car and not a bike pull into the driveway. "Can you fix him up Lass?"

Happy's hands were swollen and bruised and two of his fingers were at a strange angle. "I'll try." Chibs flashed a smile and left, and Happy sat on the couch while you got the first aid kit.

You sat the box on the table and waved at him to remove his bloodied shirt and a wave of rage came over you when you saw the fresh tattoo. "What the fuck is that?"

He grunted. "What do you think? I fucking killed him." You knew that was going to happen by Jax's tone when he called everyone to church.

You huffed. "I ain't talking about that. I'm talking about the fact that you sat for a tattoo with two broken fingers. Do you want to get arthritis?" You rubbed your face and started to clean the open gashes on his knuckles, it would be a lie to say you were gentle, he should have come home right away, the tattoo could have waited.

"I'm sorry." His voice cracked as he spoke and you set the gauze down to look into his eyes, they were rimmed red and his breath stuttered in his chest as he continued. "You didn't deserve any of this." You fought the urge to quip back about what the other guy looked like as you picked a fragment of tooth from his finger and he stopped you to place a black and blue hand over yours. "I love you."

You smiled as the anger faded from your chest, you were relieved that it was finally over. "I love you too." You returned to cleaning his hands with your regular gentleness this time and he looked at you lovingly until you were done. "I'm going to get you some ice and some pain meds, you'll need to rest for a few weeks while those heal."

He wrapped his arms around you as you stood up and pulled you into a hug, his warm embrace making you realise how late it was and how tired you felt. "Can I shower with these?" You nodded. "Alright little girl, I'm gonna clean up, you wanna head to bed?"

You parted ways and went to go to the kitchen for a glass of water but halfway there, Happy walked to your side and brushed your wrist with the back of his bandaged hand before grabbing your fingers gently as you fought the urge to laugh at his limited mobility. "What is it honey?"

"Marry me." He sounded head serious.

"What?" It wasn't that you were going to say no, you were just shocked that he was doing it now. You figured he'd do it with his mum and aunt there, maybe some of the guys.

He placed one hand on your shoulder and rested the other one on your cheek. "Marry me," he took a breath. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, marry me."

You felt your eyes well with tears. "Ok, I'll marry you."

His face broke into a grin and he took your face in his hands as he pulled you into a kiss. You could feel the love and affection in his touch as his lips pressed against yours. He pulled back for a moment to look into your eyes, brushing your nose with his as he spoke. "I love you so much."

You placed your hand on his cheeks and smiled. "I love you too Hap."

He was smiling again and let out a chuckle. "I better call mum."

The end

[elliewithcellie]

Long Cool Woman - Chapter 3

chapter summary: It's Day One of pageant practice, and someone has their eye on you.

wc: 4.2k

cw: awkward reader lmao, two brief implications of sex life, mention of a condom ha, i think that's it. Dean plays older brother, Jealous Sam? who knows

a/n: Find the rest of the story here

As the car rolled to a stop, you realized you had dozed off. It had been a long day. You all grabbed shopping bags and staggered through the hotel and into your room. The boys looked as exhausted as you felt, and it was only 9:30. You looked at the two beds with the desire to have one to yourself. You looked at the boys, sure they were thinking the same thing.

You sighed. You claimed a bed while the boys battled it out with rock-paper-scissors. Dean won, a smile joining his features. Sam’s eyes widened, the color draining from his face. They argued silently in front of you, their unspoken words still an enigma to you, a foreign language that held context clues at bay.

Sam’s face grew rosy as he walked toward your bed, his feet dragging in defeat. The closer he got, the more doubtful you were about the situation. Your mind told you that you were an adult and that you could handle sharing a bed with a man, but your body could not be convinced.

“You know what?” you said scrambling out of bed. “It’s ok, Sam. You can have it.”

You grabbed a pillow and pulled the comforter off the bed.

“What are you doing?” Dean asked.

“I’m gonna sleep in the bathtub. You both have a long day, so I don’t want to intrude.”

“You’re not intruding,” Sam said.

“It’s ok, really. I’d fit in here better than you guys would.” You forced a laugh. “Goodnight.”

You dragged the blanket into the bathroom and shut the door behind you.

“Sweet. Win-win,” you heard Dean say, his voice muffled by the door.

As far as bathtubs go, this was the nicest tub you’d seen. You laid the comforter down to form a padding, pleased with your quick thinking. But you felt stupid. The urge to fix it and act like an adult grew larger, the embarrassment rattling in your head like a pinball machine. But that ship had sailed. You had sealed your fate. You tossed and turned in the tub until your mind settled into sleep.

A muffled alarm through the bathroom door woke you from your pained slumber. As nice and spacious as the bathtub was, it was still a bathtub: cold and solid. No matter how padded, the comforter’s efforts remained in vain. You stretched your aching back, not quite finding the relief you sought.

You stepped out of the tub, careful not to slip. The mirror served as an unpleasant reminder of your lack of sleep. Dark bags hung under your eyes, and your hair shot in every direction. Your shorts had twisted halfway around your waist, and only one sock remained on your feet. You tried to groom yourself slightly before opening the door, hoping to signal an invitation to the others.

You had just finished brushing your teeth when Sam entered the bathroom. Juxtaposing his large frame, he shrank himself down, almost a mixture of shyness and guilt as he approached you.

You decided to beat him to the punch. “I’m sorry for ditching last night. We’re adults. It shouldn’t have been a big deal.”

“No, no,” Sam said, his eyes wide, frantic to reassure you. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I should be apologizing to you. I’m sorry we made you sleep in here.”

“You didn’t. It was my choice.”

“You wouldn’t have made the choice if we didn’t push you to. We should have gotten another room for you. We weren’t thinking,” he said, his posture straightening with his assertion.

He towered over you, closing some distance, but his demeanor remained soft and sincere. Heat radiated off of him, his warmth a welcome change from the cool porcelain of last night. Still, chills ran down your spine.

“I—I’m not here to make anyone uncomfortable. I’ve just –”

“You’re not.”

“—never done that kind of thing, but we’re all adults here. I can pull it together and act like one.”

“Done what?” Dean asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Been in bed with a guy,” you said, your quick confession taking you by surprise. You covered your eyes with your hand, a meager attempt at hiding your embarrassment.

Dean’s eyebrows raised in surprise as he squeezed between you and Sam to find his toothbrush. “Bobby didn’t let you out much, huh?”

“Dean,” Sam warned.

“Nothing in high school, though? Never ditched class for a boy?”

“What? No, not at all,” you said. “Some small little innocent crushes and school dances, but nothing serious. What are we talking about right now?”

“This is on us, ok?” Sam said, pulling your attention as he gathered your pillow and comforter from the tub. “We should have gotten you a separate room. I’ll go see if they have any others.”

“No, it’s fine. Really,” you said. “I’m fine with it if you guys are fine with it. I just can’t sleep in that bathtub again.”

“Deal,” Sam said, returning your things to the bed. “Taking the comforter, though, now that’s unforgivable.” A smirk rose on his face, watching for your reaction.

You chuckled and smiled back, and he resumed making the bed.

“Ok, out, Dean,” you shooed him. “I gotta get ready.”

“Wait, just two minutes.”

“Fine, but I really have to get going. Shoot. Is there a dress code for this? Sam, Where’s the itinerary?” You left the bathroom and rummaged through your duffle bag, the door closing swiftly behind you.

“Here,” Sam said holding the paper up. “It says, ‘Welcome to Day One. Meet the rest of the contestants for breakfast before we begin our first rehearsal. Come as you wish to present yourself (The judges do not score until Day Three).’ So, it sounds like you can wear whatever you want.”

“Thank god,” you exhaled.

Dean exited the bathroom, and you entered, closing the door behind you.

As you showered, your body teetered on the line of anxiety. You were an imposter. You knew that the other girls would practically smell it on you. Your looks and lack of experience could be enough to be caught in this lie. You wanted to back out altogether. But lives were at stake here. You had to remember that. Miss Vermont was found dead. You could not afford any more casualties. You exited the bathroom, Sam taking your place. You returned to your bag and practiced what you learned yesterday, in hopes of elevating your look just enough to blend in with the contestants.

Sam returned to the room as you finished up. “You gotta get going. Here, we’ll walk you out.”

You nodded and slipped on your shoes. The closer to the lobby the three of you got, the quicker your heart started racing.

“You’re going to be fine,” Sam said. “Just remember to keep your eye out for anything out of the ordinary. Try to get people talking and keep your phone handy just in case.”

“And use this when you have any free time,” Dean said as he handed you his EMF detector. “Any information is helpful.”

You all entered the lobby littered with beautiful women. Chatter and laughter bounced off the walls, all but singeing your skin in overwhelm.

“I’ll see you guys soon, right?” you asked.

“Like we never even left. Now, go make some friends. Ooh, especially with her,” Dean said pointing over at one of the contestants.

“Shut up,” you said. Still, you laughed.

“Hey,” Sam said, his eyes serious and concerned. “Be safe, ok?”

You nodded. “You, too.”

Without another word, the boys left the hotel and left you to truly fend for yourself.

******

Clink, clink, clink.

“Alright, ladies. Please take your seats in the chair with your state labeled accordingly.” You looked up to find an older woman on the stage, holding a glass in one hand and a fork in the other. She sounded too chipper for the time of morning, and her smile seemed sewn to her face by three cups of coffee. She struck you as presidential: matching tweed blazer and pencil skirt with a shirt the same shade and pointed shoes two sizes too small.

You found your seat and slumped down, hoping to avoid unwanted attention. Pastries lined the center of the table. You scanned the others. No one attempted to take one, so you didn’t either. You tried to focus on the speaker, but your stomach rumbled silently.

“Now that we are all settled, welcome and congratulations for making it to the Miss America pageant. I’m Nancy Roshambo, the event coordinator for the next three days. These are my fellow producers, Tod Larkins and James Mathesby.” Nancy gestured to her right revealing a frail, older man and a younger, fit, attractive man. You sucked in a breath at the sight of James. It may have been your first time meeting someone who took your breath away. Embarrassment struck you, desperate to avert your eyes from him.

Nancy continued. “While the stage crew sets up the stage for rehearsal this afternoon, we decided you all should get to know each other!” Small cheers from the crowd of women erupted in the room. They all seemed so excited as they turned to their peers and giggled. You only settled into your nerves, taking a deep breath through the commotion. The girls collected themselves as soon as Nancy resumed speaking.

“We have generated a few games for you ladies to play for the next few hours, so by the time we are ready to rehearse, you all will be each other’s best friends!”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. You were sure these girls were lovely, but Nancy was coming on a little strong. Still, the overall consensus remained positive. Nancy announced the first game, and everyone shuffled around accordingly. Through the transition, you grabbed one of the frosted donuts that sat perfectly at the center of the table. The rest of the table settled in around you. As you ate, you felt their eyes searing into your skin.

“That’s impressive,” one of the girls said.

“Am I not allowed to eat right now?” you asked, putting your donut back on the table.

“No, go on ahead,” she said. “It’s just so courageous for you to eat sweets just days before that show. I’m Tanya by the way.”

You cursed to yourself. By simply eating, these girls were on to you. You introduced yourself sheepishly.

To your surprise, Tanya shrugged and grabbed a donut of her own. Another girl couldn’t remove the disdain from her expression.

“What, Kari? I’ve been inspired,” Tanya said.

“Could someone tell me what we’re supposed to be doing?” you asked.

“We are supposed to be playing Two Truths and a Lie,” Miss California said, irritation evident in her tone.

“Wouldn’t it be easier if we got to know each other by, like, asking regular questions?” you asked.

“Yeah, these games are stupid!” Tanya said. “We don’t even know each other well enough to make a guess. You guys play your game. Me and Y/N, here, are going to actually get to know each other.”

The rest of the girls at the table commenced their game as Tanya shifted her chair toward you. “Alright. Are you going to share first, or should I?”

Because of your unique situation, you let her do the talking. The conversation went smoothly for hours. It was exciting to get to know someone your age so easily. The boys, as kind and hospitable as they grew to be, were reserved. There wasn’t much information to gather unless you dug for it, a risk you weren’t quite willing to endure yet. But Tanya was an open book. She discussed the experiences she had growing up in Georgia. But it wasn’t until she mentioned she was engaged that you found yourself holding onto every word she had to offer. You longed for the experience of a partner, even though you knew you could never have one. The normalcy of her life left you evaluating your own, how strange it became, and how much you’ve missed out on. Still, a girl could dream.

“Alright. Enough about me. What about you?”

Before you could begin, Nancy tapped her glass with her fork, a hush falling on the crowd.

“Alright, ladies. We’re going to take a little break while the crew finishes their last-minute details. Feel free to use the restroom to freshen up!”

“You’re off the hook this time, but you will tell me more about you later.” Tanya winked, and in a mad dash, headed for the restroom.

This was your opportunity to investigate, you quickly realized. You pulled out the EMF detector and scanned the perimeter of the room. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. You rounded a corner where a window was left slightly ajar. On the windowsill sat a small pile of yellow dirt or maybe sawdust. Before you could examine it, you felt someone approach you from behind.

“What are you doing?”

You turned around and found James Mathesby towering over you, his arms folded at his chest. You scrambled for something, anything that could cover your tracks. But experiencing him up close had you short-circuiting.

“I—I, uh, it’s stuffy in here, isn’t it? Can’t hardly breathe in here.” You fanned yourself as your temperature rose. In truth, you couldn’t breathe, but it wasn’t the air causing you to swoon.

“Oh shit. I mean, shit. Let me take you outside.” His hand found residence on your lower back as he ushered you through the lobby doors. His hand left a fire in its wake as the heat traveled through you. To say you were touch-starved would be a gross understatement. You let out a deep exhale in hopes of pulling yourself together.

“Is that better?” he asked.

“Yeah, it is. Thank you,” you said, allowing the breeze to ground yourself. “I’m Y/N, by the way.”

He smiled and extended his hand. “I’m James.”

You shook his hand. Even the simple exchange of hands was enough to send you over the edge. The butterflies in your stomach twisted into knots. You were careful not to shake it for too long.

“So, what is it you do, here?”

“I’m in charge of run time. We have a tight schedule, and Nancy tends to go overboard with everything, so I keep her in check. I am also in charge of the videography of the event, telling which camera to cut to and when to pan to a wide angle or a close-up shot.”

“Oh, so you’re basically the director,” you said.

“Yeah, I guess you could say that,” James said, a slight rouge warming his cheeks.

You didn’t want the conversation to end. His big mysterious eyes pulled you into every word he said. You found yourself staring. You didn’t mean to. It wasn’t like you hadn’t seen a built body before, but his called to you, begging you to come closer. There was something about him you couldn’t resist, and you wanted to find out more.

“Ah, shit, er, crap. Sorry, I’m trying to be better about that.” James sighed. “We’re past time already. I better go. It was a pleasure meeting you. Get some water, and hopefully, I’ll catch you later.”

James left you alone. You heard the mutterings of Nancy over the microphone, but you found yourself too flustered amongst your own thoughts to comprehend her words. His fingertips had branded your back, the memory all too much to handle. You had never felt this way before. You were sure it was chemistry. You were determined to see where this feeling would take you.

 As you entered the lobby, the other contestants shuffled through double doors into another room. You stepped in line with the others and followed them into the ballroom. The production level completed in the hours you’d been present astounded you. Within the room stood a two-level stage with a spiral staircase on either side. American flags and giant glimmering stars hung on the back of the stage and from the ceiling. A sea of folding chairs sat evenly distributed across the floor. The sudden image of possibly thousands of people sitting in those chairs made you nauseous. You pushed it to the back of your mind as Nancy explained the situation.

“Now for the moment we’ve all been waiting for: the pageant routine!” Nancy directed the women to their various positions. It seemed easy enough. Step and pause and step and pause. Still, the walk took six attempts before no mistakes were made. As you approached your final position, you found James off-stage. You made eye contact for only a split second before returning your focus to the stage. You felt flustered, then embarrassed over the effect that he was having on you. You had to keep it together.

“Ok, ladies! Let’s move on to the next section of the show!” Nancy announced. More walking, this time from a different approach for section two of the event. Nancy continued to add to the routine, and you continued to sneak peeks at James. You couldn’t sway your delusion; almost sure he watched you more than the other women.

After six hours of standing, walking, looking at James, and listening to Nancy say “Alright, ladies” for the millionth time, you were finally off the hook for the day. As all the contestants shuffled out of the ballroom, Tanya found her way to you.

“Hey! Day One is over, and it’s only 5:30.”

“Thank god, right?” you said, relaxing your posture for the first time today.

“So, if I were you, I’d go walk on over to James and see what he’s up to tonight.”

“What? How did you—”

She laughed. “I saw you guys talking when I came back from the bathroom. I noticed how you were checking him out. And he was totally staring at you throughout the whole rehearsal.” She nudged your arm with her elbow.

“Shut up. Don’t mess with me right now.”

“I’m not!” Tanya said. “You need to go for it.”

You sighed. “Oh, I don’t know. I mean my—my family might be doing something tonight.”

“Please, you’ve worked so hard to get here! Go have some fun! When was the last time you did anything for yourself?”

She raised a good point. He was too intoxicating to pass up. And what harm could another conversation cause?

“Fine,” you said. “Next time I see him, I’ll talk to him. What are you up to tonight?”

“Oh, a couple of the girls are getting drinks, so I better get going! I’ll see you tomorrow. You have to tell me everything.” She gave you a quick hug before running off.

Your fear kept you rooted to the floor beneath you. You sighed. There was no way you were going to go through with it. The boys would freak out, and this wasn’t a vacation. You were working. You turned around to head to your room in defeat. Your spin on the hardwood floor broke your balance, and you slipped backward. Yet, you never hit the ground, two arms catching your fall.

“You know, when I said, ‘catch you later,’ this isn’t what I meant.” James chuckled as he lifted you back to your feet.

You were mortified. You so suddenly ran hot across every inch of you. His hands never left your body, keeping you close.

“This is the second time, now, that you’ve helped me. I’m so embarrassed,” you said candidly.

“Don’t be,” he said, still holding you close.

You felt your pulse rise with each of his breaths. His eyes bore into yours, and even if the moment only lasted for two whole seconds, the weight of it lasted a lifetime.

“Forgive me if this is too forward,” James continued, “but what are you doing tonight?”

You, you thought uncharacteristically. Your mind was melting before your eyes. The desperation to come up with something quick swelled beneath your skin. “Umm, not much. It should be a relaxing night.”

“What if you joined me for dinner? I’ll buy. I’d hate myself if I didn’t try to ask you out.”

You were careful not to shudder in his grasp. Nothing could have prepared you for this moment. You did everything you could to conjure a nod. “What time were you thinking?”

“Meet me in the lobby at seven?” he asked.

“I—I can do that.”

James smiled. “Then I’ll see you at seven.”

The two of you parted ways, your head dizzy with excitement. Your emotions stirred in your head as you headed to your room. Before you opened the door, you took a deep inhale. You pled that the boys were still out investigating. Writing a note would be easier than facing them, you decided. You exhaled as you unlocked the door.

To your disappointment, the boys sat on their respective beds, Sam with his laptop and Dean sharpening his knife.

“Oh hey,” Sam said smiling up at you. “How’d it go?”

A pang of guilt struck just beneath your lungs, though you didn’t know what you could feel guilty for.

“Oh, you know, it was good, a lot of standing and stepping.” You released a breath, nervous to break the news. “And I made a friend or two.”

“Oh, sweet,” Sam said. “We knew you’d have no trouble with this.”

“Yeah, it was good. How’s the research going?”

“Coming up dry,” Dean said. “Nothing’s out of the norm here. No angry dead Miss America contestants or anything like that.”

“You didn’t get any readings, did you?” Sam asked.

“No. I tested the lobby and ballroom. Nothing. So, what are we thinking, now?”

Dean stood up. “Well, I say we take a break. How about we get some food before we return to square one?”

“Mmm, about that,” you said. “You guys go without me. I sorta made plans.”

“Plans?” both boys said.

You winced at their surprise. “It’s no big deal. One of the friends I made asked me to go out, so I said yes.”

You sucked in your lip as the boys exchanged a look of disbelief. “It’s not a big deal,” you said again, not quite sure if you were reassuring them or yourself.

“So,” Dean said finally, “what are you and this ‘friend’ gonna be up to?”

“Just a dinner. It doesn’t have to be long. I meet him at 7, so—”

“Him? So, it’s a date. Sam, it’s a date.”

“I heard,” Sam said, his voice dry.

“Guys,” you said, exasperated. “Fine. Maybe it’s a date.”

“I’m not sure I like this,” Dean said. “You don’t know this guy.”

“I thought that’s what the dinner was for.”

Dean looked to Sam, who had turned away as if to hide the thoughts running through his head. Dean huffed. “Listen. I want you back by ten. No later. I want a text every time you stop at a different location.”

You nodded.

“Now, are you… prepared?”

“Well, I’d like to take a few minutes to get ready. I mean—”

“No, no.” Dean sighed again. His cheeks turned a tinge of red before rummaging through his duffle bag.

“Dean, what are you—”

He pulled out a small square wrapper from his bag.

“You can’t be serious.” Sam forced a dry laugh from his throat.

“Can’t ever be too careful,” Dean said trying to hand the condom to you.

“Woah!” You backed up completely flustered. “That’s—it’s not like that! I mean, I don’t think—”

“It’s always good to keep it in your back pocket. Sometimes the heat of the moment sneaks up on you.”

You were speechless, your jaw on the floor and your cheeks set ablaze. You dared to look at Sam in hopes that he would defend you. His eyes burned a hole in his computer, his whole face flushed, his eyebrows furrowed.

You snatched the wrapper from Dean’s hand and shoved it in your pocket. “Anything else you need from me? Need me to give you the play-by-play when I come back?”

“No!” Both boys yelled. You jumped at the urgency.

“No,” Dean said calmer. “But I do want to walk you out, so we know who to kill if he fucks up.”

“You’re joking. No. No way.”

“I’ll come with you,” Sam said, standing at full height.

Two against one. Before today, you would have folded in embarrassment, opting to stay inside for good. But the boys didn’t understand that this would be your first night of freedom in years. Your first night of freedom in your whole adult life. You weren’t going to allow this opportunity to pass you up.

“Fine,” you said finally.

You took the time to refresh yourself, the ticking clock a rude instigator of anticipation. It was finally time to go, and as you left the room, the boys followed close behind.

James had beat you down to the lobby. He stood at the sight of you, a smile wide on his face, only for it to taper as he took in the Winchesters behind you.

“Hey,” you said. “I’m ready to go if you are.” You grabbed his arm to pull him toward the exit.

“Who are they?” James asked.

You rolled your eyes. “My guard dogs apparently. Let’s get out of here.”

“After you.” He opened the lobby door for you, and the two of you headed to his car before the boys could say a word.

chapter 4

[welcometocaritas-creations]

so i wrote the draft for a Diego/Lila s4 au fic last year

It's about 150-200k in length and it's going to be a while before I can get it post worthy (soooo much editing to do) and I still have my wolfwren fic to finish first. BUT in light of the horror show that was s4, I thought I'd give you guys a sneak peek to cleanse the palette

When I do post, it will be on my AO3 account here . So if you want you can subscribe to me and then when I post it, you'll know :) It's sort of a Lila-centric fic that deals with her trauma and how impending motherhood impacts that and is impacted by it - but obviously Diego/Lila is a huge part of the fic.

So without further ado. . .

. . .

“Gracie. If it’s a girl.”

Diego’s brow furrows. “Wait, really?”

Lila shrugs. “Sure. Why not?”

In truth, she’s a little intimidated by Grace Hargreeves, though they’ve never met. Or at least, she’s never met the version of her that Diego holds up on a pedestal. Half robot or not, Lila knows she was a better mum than she can ever hope to be. That she was soft where Lila is hard, quiet where she’s loud, sensitive where she’s callous. Lila will never be even half as good as her at this mothering bullshit.

But she wants to be.

The name can be a reminder. And, though logically she knows there can be no better reminder than her own flesh and blood child standing in front of her, the deck is stacked against her. So she’s willing to pull out all the stops. Rational or not.

Besides. . . she was Diego’s mum. Gave him a soft place to land growing up. Gave him love when there was none to find.

When they were in the asylum, Diego never had a nice word to say about anyone.

Except for her.

Lila thinks that’s something that deserves to be honored. Celebrated, even. The fact that one of them had a mum growing up that wasn’t complete shit. Even if she was prevented by her own programming from actually protecting her children.

(this, at least, is one thing Lila thinks she can do better. Protecting her child. She’s not a robot designed by her kids’ abuser, after all. She’s also more skilled in a fight than her birth parents. A winning combination, really.

She may not turn out to be a good mum in any sense of the definition but she’ll be damned if she can’t keep them safe.

And who will keep them safe from you?)

Lila’s skin feels hot. And sweaty. Like she’s skipped breakfast. And lunch. And three nights' worth of dinners. “Diego. . . what if we screw this up?”

“Then we’ll do our best to unscrew it.”

She snorts. Laughs.

Appreciates the words more than if he offered an infuriatingly optimistic denial. The reassurance that: of course they won’t screw up their kid, how silly of her to even entertain the thought.

“Unscrew our kid?”

Diego smiles - probably at her laugh - and shifts until he’s seated beside her on the bed, rather than behind her. So she has no choice but to see the earnestness in his eyes. And there is so much bleeding earnestness. She’s not sure how this man ever convinced himself he was a lone wolf. This is a pack animal through and through. “Yeah, listen, Lila. . . we’re sort of stumbling around in the dark here. You’re not the only one who feels that. Who’s scared shitless.” This too is a comfort. “But that’s how I felt with Stan and things didn’t turn out too bad.”

“He was Kugelblitzed.”

“Well, that’s hardly going to happen again.“

She smacks him on the shoulder. “Oh God, now you’ve jinxed it and it’s definitely going to happen again. Are you crazy?”

She could kill him.

Diego grins through a wince, refusing to grasp the grievous error he’s just made. “The point is we’re going to make mistakes. Big mistakes. Small mistakes. Lots of mistakes.”

“Is this supposed to be comforting?”

(Lila knows he’s only slightly less emotionally congested than her but, still, she expected better)

He leans closer, into her space - a dirty move that makes her breath catch. “Your mother and my father made mistakes too. The difference is they never saw them that way. Never tried to fix them. Never learned from them. . . They never tried to do better. To fix what they’d broken. They didn’t want to. . . That’s not us. That will never be us. Because, yeah, Lila we’re going to make a mess of things. A big huge stinking mess. But we’ll clean it up afterwards. And the next mess will be a little less messy.”

“I hate cleaning.”

His eye twitches. “Can you just- I’m trying to do a whole speech here.”

“I know and it’s a surprisingly good one.” Diego’s brow knits together like he’s not sure whether to take that as a compliment or an insult. “Maybe instead of trying to save a president by cutting off some bloke’s trigger finger you should just run for office. I think you’d be brilliant.”

“I would suck as president. I’d stab someone within the first hour.”

“Like I said,” Lila wraps her arms around his neck with a grin, “Brilliant.”

(she’d vote to see that)

Diego rolls his eyes at this but rewards her masterful plan with a kiss. “You would make a pretty badass First Lady.”

. . .

[this is just a short excerpt from like the seventh chapter but I figured it would be a nice read after, well. . . everything]

Also here have some Lila and Diego fanart:

[ryuichirou]

What do you like about Book 5? I feel like reading one of your analysis

Anon! Thank you so much for this ask and for enjoying my analysis. I’ve been waiting for someone to ask about Book 5 lol It’s one of my favourites. Unfortunately, I also made you wait for ages, as I always do, but I hope this time helped me to collect my thoughts better lol

I really really love and resonate with the main themes of the Book 5: self-doubt, self-improvement, dedication to your crafts and knowing your strengths, but also enjoying what you do. I’ve said it tons of times, but I’ll repeat myself: I strongly believe that this is the beauty that Rook is talking about in his little rants, and this is why in that particular crucial moment Neige ended up being more “beautiful” in his eyes. Neige did what he wanted and enjoyed every moment of it, and Vil was so focused on the win that he couldn’t enjoy himself, thus losing the spark… well, you know how I feel about the whole Rook’s betrayal thing: I’ve talked about this in the past.

God I love a lot of aspects of this book, but I’ll mention as many as I can without this post getting obnoxiously long lol

I love Vil and Epel’s conflict a lot! I talked about them in this post, so I won’t dive too deep into it, but: it’s so amazing to see a piece of media where a boy teachers another boy that cuteness and beauty is a strength in its own, and he does it not in a campy way; in fact, he does it with brute force lol Vil isn’t gentle at all, on the contrary, he is very stubborn and tyrannical at times, but this is what makes the dynamic more interesting. I really love imagining how awkward it was for everyone to just stand there and watch these two yelling at each other and slamming the doors and physically fighting, and how at the end of the book they grew so closer and more understanding of each other.

Now let me yap about Deuce a lot! I really love that Deuce kind of ended up being one of the main stars of this book! It’s so satisfying watching him win and get rewarded for his hard work, and by hard work I mostly mean his self-reflection, self-discovery and willingness to grow. One of my favourite aspects of ADeuce dynamic is that Ace is that guy who is smart but doesn’t care so he gets a C and Deuce is that guy who tries his best and grinds as much as he can but still gets a C. Both of them get a C, but the situations are so different, and I am glad we got to see Deuce being so frustrated about it. It feels so unfair, and this is one of the things that caused him to be a delinquent in the past: if he can’t succeed even if he tries his best, why should he even bother?

But Deuce isn’t the same Deuce he used to be: he is mature enough not to give up and he wants to improve very badly. This is why instead of flipping everyone off and leaving he listens to Vil’s critique, he volunteers to get extra ballet lessons, and he only snaps when Ace pokes him at the worst possible moment. If we apply that Utena-ass chicks-in-the-egg analogy that Rook and Kalim brought up when talking to Deuce, this is a symbol of Deuce-the-chick already trying to break the egg.

BUT. At the same time, not every single thing would be fixed if you just “try harder”, and despite the fact that Vil expresses this in frustration, he is kind of right. Isn’t it a bit ironic that Vil has pretty much the same inner conflict as Deuce? He always tries his best, and yet he can’t reach the thing he wants so badly?

Anyways, this is where the real act of breaking the egg begins: you have to accept your own strengths even if you dislike them. It doesn’t mean that you don’t have a choice: Epel doesn’t HAVE TO be cute, Deuce doesn’t HAVE TO do his act-first-think-second thing, but being aware of what you are good at and how your brain, body and soul operates is important.

Deuce has always felt that he has to be someone different, and he is still struggling, but Book 5 gave him such a huge moment of growth that peaked in him unlocking his Unique Magic, I love it so much it’s insane….

I also love all the snippets of Kalim and Jamil that we got in this book, even though they didn’t play as big of a role as they could have. Still, Kalim got slapped in the face with the first ever objective evaluation in his life, and seeing him trying to comprehend his feelings was so good. I want to see more of this side of Kalim, I want to see more of him processing how others actually see him and that sometimes others will be picked instead of him, and that’s totally fine. And he gets it, but getting it and accepting it are two different things, and Kalim has a lot of maturing to do.

Even though he was quite mature when caring for the kohais, and especially during Vil’s overblot. The poor guy got so traumatised by Jamil’s overblot that he clocked that something was wrong with Vil, and I love it a lot.

(Also, Jamil is hot. No notes; just thought I’d mention that)

Speaking of overblots! God, Vil’s entire overblot section is *chef’s kiss*

I love how even in his design he still has this ominous but motherly (not in a caring way, more like a step-mother) nun/queen-like  vibe. But what I love even more is how Vil’s overblot happened.

The fact that he almost killed a person? Yeah I know that we don’t know if he actually wanted to kill Neige or just poison/curse him, but let’s think for a moment: he was willing to cause harm that is pretty serious, and I don’t think we should downplay it because Vil himself doesn’t. The stakes of this overblot are pretty high… Even though technically Leona caused a lot of harm and seriously injured Ruggie, even though Jamil yeeted Kalim+the boys to possibly die also; I guess Vil’s act feels so impactful because of his reaction.

I really love how Vil got so extremely disappointed in himself and so afraid of others looking at him with disgust that THIS made him snap. I love how Kalim kept repeating that Vil didn’t harm anyone and shouldn’t feel this way because this didn’t matter anymore: even if Vil didn’t end up causing harm to Neige, he himself already learned how disgusting of a person he was.

Vil is very complex, Vil has high standards for himself, and this is simultaneously his blessing and his curse :” )

I really love his backstory, I really love how gently Rook called him back as he was awaking after the flashback sengment… I barely mentioned Rook in this post woah, but I feel like I talked about how much I loved their relationship in this book quite a lot! So I’ll just say it again: I think Rook’s support and Rook’s betrayal both are crucial to understanding the message of this book and Vil’s character as well. Also, they’re an amazing ship.

Another thing I love is how likeable Neige is lol It would’ve been so easy to do a “you know, Snow White is also a bitch!” thing, but Twst never does it with its characters: the “good guys” are genuinely good, likeable people, but this doesn’t make the villains’ perspective any less relatable or badly written. Neige isn’t pretentious or righteous about being good, he is just naturally sweet and wants to have fun and take care of people around him: you can’t hate this guy, well you can, but also you can’t. And Vil knows that his grudge is petty and one-sided.

But at the same time? THE FRUSTRATION YOU FEEL WHEN YOU WATCH NEIGE AND HIS LITTLE FRIENDS DANCE AND SING IS INSANE. I feel like I know this book so well but I still get mad every time I hear that song LOL THIS IS SUCH A TRUE TO LIFE SITUATION AAAAH-

Yelling aside, I really do think it’s pretty real for a lot of people, especially those who create something that other people evaluate (i.e. posting what you create on social media). Even if you know in your head that numbers don’t mean anything, even if you know how algorithms work, even if you keep in mind all the factors that go into the reasons behind the feedback one receives, you’ll still inevitably end up comparing your numbers to some other person and feeling like this is unfair. Everyone suffers from this thing, everyone ends up feeling like the numbers express their worth and how others see them. Everyone feels stupid when something they worked hard on doesn’t get as many numbers as a quick nostalgia-bait that isn’t even good but ultimately is more engaging to people for other reasons.

I think this is the first time I’ve seen this exact conflict shown in media in this particular way, so I really appreciate it.

So, to sum up, even though it may seem like Ch5 is way too long and focuses on a lot of things at once, I think all of these things tie into one thematic narrative very nicely. Despite the fact that Vil’s “sin” would probably be vanity, I how much he talks about physical appearance, diets and cosmetics, the majority of his inner turmoil boils down to him feeling like a misunderstood artist and caring too much about how others envision him. Epel, Deuce, Kalim – all of them struggle with how others evaluate them, in their own different ways.

This book also had a lot of tasty dialogue (a lot of shippy ones too) and a lot of very good conflicts that made characters understand a lot about each other and themselves.

Speaking of ships? Rook/Vil and Neige/Vil aside, we had such a fun Azul/Jamil moment at the beginning of the book, and also Kalim/Jamil, Ace/Deuce, also some food for those who enjoy ships that we don’t really like. It was fruitful.

Also this is the book where Idia got called a brocon, and this gives it the additional +100 beauté points.

[storiesfromafan]

Moral of the Story

Mattheo x Fem!Reader

A/N: so I tried something different with this one. Also posting on my phone, will fix it up when I can get on a computer.

Summary: don't hate me for this being about Mattheo and the reader.

Moral of the Story

So I never really knew you

God, I really tried to

Blindsided, addicted

Felt we could really do this

But really I was foolish

Hindsight, it's obvious

It’s funny how an attraction to someone can turn to a crush, which can lead to liking that person. And before you know it you’re in a relationship. All the while barely knowing them. Though over the course of a relationship you are meant to learn about that person you have chosen. Learning their likes and dislikes, hobbies and interests, if they are a dog or cat person. But for you it hadn’t been like that. Blinded by the Angel face of the Slytherin heartthrob Mattheo Riddle.

Like many girls before, and probably not the last, his chocolate brown eyes and curly brown mop caught your eye first. Then there was that smile that made butterflies flutter in your stomach. And not to forget that charm he just radiated when he talked, eyes focused on his prey, drawing you in whole heartedly. Every ounce of the male screamed sex appeal, every girl's fantasy. The bad boy, heartbreaker of Slytherin. He would blindside the girl he was interested in, causing them to become addicted to him. He was the drug of choice, and every girl became a drug addict on him.

You had believed you could be end game, claiming his heart just as quickly as you had offered up your own. But the fool you were. Mattheo had done it time and time again. Showing interest in a girl, becoming infatuated but really it was a game. Seeing how long it took from the first flirty look he sent their way to obtaining that first date with them to Hogsmeade. Round two in his game was to see how long it took to kiss them, which usually only took half their date. Extra points if he could get a make out session out of them before getting back to Hogwarts. Round three was for those that he found himself interested in for longer than a month. That was borderline full relationship status. Only a few had made it there, yourself included. 

You were the exception though. For he chose to go full relationship with you, shocking all that watched your dalliance closely. Y/N L/N, the first girl to make Mattheo Riddle her boyfriend. That day was the happiest moment of your life so far. But with it came the looming shadow of those that wanted your head, though not literally. You had a target on your back from the moment you accepted to be his girlfriend of four months. Everything should have been obvious; Mattheo and his ways, the target on your back. You should have seen it coming.

Talking with my lawyer

She said, "Where'd you find this guy?"

I said, "Young people fall in love

With the wrong people sometimes"

Some mistakes get made

That's alright, that's okay

You can think that you're in love

When you're really just in pain

Some mistakes get made

That's alright, that's okay

In the end, it's better for me

That's the moral of the story, babe

Sitting in the Great Hall for lunch surrounded by your friends, you pushed your food around your plate. You were hungry but had no appetite for what was on offer. But you ate a few bites, which had been hard to swallow. The conversation your group was having was like white noise; you could hear it but did not focus on it, wanting to tune it out. If attendance wasn’t important you would have stayed in bed, wrapped in your blankets wallowing in self pity.

“What do you think Y/N/N?” Pansy asked drawing you from your mind.

You looked at her with a confused look. “Ah, come again?”

She sighed. “I asked what your thoughts on Snape’s pop quiz. But I think your head was somewhere else, no doubt dwelling on the sorry excuse of an ex”, her tone had been sharp.

You weren’t the only one hurting from your break up, though it was more Pansy wanting to hurt Mattheo for the number he had done on you. Pansy thought the world of you, after just clicking in second year over putting a couple Gryffindor girls in their place over your house; Slytherin.

“I know you cared for him Y/N/N” Pansy said with a pointed look, “mistake made, that’s alright. In the end it's better for you, save yourself true heartache. Once a player, always a player unfortunately”.

If only she truly knew that ship had already set sail. For this was true heartache. Stupidly on your part handing over your heart freely, though you had thought Mattheo was doing the same. Wrong. 

It's funny how a memory

Turns into a bad dream

When running wild turns volatile

Remember how we painted our house

Just like my grandparents did?

So romantic, but we fought the whole time

Should have seen the signs, yeah

Looking down the Slytherin table you saw him sitting with both Draco and Blaise, all three in a heated discussion. How you longed for those moments. Sitting by his side as they conversed on a number of topics. You would even weigh in on the discussion with your own two cents. And they all seemed to enjoy your input on their banter. Those moments were a fond memory. Along with the stolen moments between the two of you. Such as a snog session in a corner of the library. Or lazing under a tree in the courtyard, Mattheo’s head resting on your lap.

But with the good there were always those that were turbulent. In the beginning there were a few moments that had been rough, and maybe a red flag, but the happy moments outweighed the bad. The last month of your relationship there was more turbulence than ever. It started out as small things; comments on your friends, conversations with friends or others from different houses, being late to meet him, etc. You had words with each other before turning into full on arguments, that many thought would lead to one of you hitting the other. It was all so toxic.

Talking with my mother

She said, "Where'd you find this guy?"

Said, "Some people fall in love

With the wrong people sometimes"

Some mistakes get made

That's alright, that's okay

You can think that you're in love

When you're really just in pain

Some mistakes get made

That's alright, that's okay

In the end it's better for me

That's the moral of the story, babe

Sneaking out that night you found yourself in the Astronomy Tower, cigarette between your lips as you lit it up. The first draw hit the back of your throat in familiarity, holding that burn for a few seconds before releasing it in a puff of smoke. With the lack of appetite, cigarettes became an addiction, bringing you some twisted comfort. As he was the reason you found yourself smoking. You consider it a parting gift of some sort.

Leaning against the railing of the tower, you looked up at the night sky. Grateful you never brought Mattheo up here. Or else this space would be tainted, like everywhere else you used to like to go. The stars in the sky seemed dull tonight, possibly mirroring your melancholy mood.

With the silence of the tower you heard the footsteps clearly, faintly coming up the stairs and growing louder as they came closer to you. It had to be one of your friends. No one else knew this was one of your hiding spots.

“Here you are” signed Pansy. “I have been looking everywhere for you”.

“You caught me” you sighed, releasing another puff of smoke before taking another drag of the cigarette. A soft, sympathetic look crossed Pansy’s face. Which you didn't like one bit. “Don't look at me like that. I don't want or need your sympathy”.

“You got hurt Y/N/N. He hurt you” she said, refusing to use his name. A true friend to the end.

“Yeah, and my dumbass knew what it was getting into. I saw it all before I stepped up to the Quidditch pitch. I ignored the red flags Pansy. It’s on me”.

“No!’ She said, raising her voice. “It’s on him! He took it further with you, he made you his girlfriend. If he intended to be serious he needed to work on himself”.

She had a valid point, you know that. You had changed for him, he should have done the same for you. Be the best version of himself for you. That wasn’t his plan. His plan was to be himself, you change for him and he would take from you while finding his next play thing.

“Well they say it's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. That could be a load of shit” you said with your cigarette hanging from your lips while lighting it once more and taking another hit. “But that’s how it goes. Blinded by affections of the heart”.

“I understand that. But it’s still no excuse” retorted Pansy. “He could see how you felt, he chose to abuse that”.

But I just need to tell you all

Some mistakes get made

That's alright, that's okay

You can think that you're in love

When you're really just engaged

Some mistakes get made

That's alright, that's okay

In the end it's better for me

That's the moral of this story

Some mistakes get made

That's alright, that's okay

You can think that you're in love

When you're really just in pain

“True, but I need to tell you some mistakes get made. That's alright, that's okay. In the end it's better for me, that's the moral of the story, babe” you said looking her in the eyes. “Chalk it up as a learning experience”.

“I don't disagree with your words. But I hate seeing you like this. It worries me” Pansy said, worry shining through her eyes brightly.

You gave her a soft smile that didn’t meet your eyes. “I know Pans. Honestly I am hurting, it sucks. But in time I will get over it, maybe not completely. Yet just enough to be some version of the old me. Promise”.

With those words, and a promise, Pansy let it be. And shortly after headed back to the Slytherin common room, you said you wouldn’t be far behind her. Alone once more, you continued to smoke your cigarette, your now old friend. You thought over what you had said to Pansy, the promise made. You weren’t sure if you believed your words or not. But hoped it was somewhat true. It gave you hope. Hope needed in a dark moment in this chapter of your life. Your first heartbreak, at the hands of Mattheo Riddle.

With the final drag of your cigarette, you put out the tip before flicking it over the edge of the tower. Taking one last look at the night sky, you saw a shooting star, a small sad smile forming on your lips. Taking your leave, you headed down the quiet staircase, along the portrait covered hall ways and back down into the depth of the castle, and the Slytherin common room.

Oh-oh, oh-oh (that's the moral of the story, that's the-)

(Oh-oh, oh-oh)

(Oh-oh, oh-oh)

A/n: any constructive criticism welcome 😊

[animeniacss]

So Close Yet So Far - Mingyu x Reader - Chapter 20 - A Surprise in the Fields

Synopsis: Your college friend, Kim Mingyu, has had a grip on your heart since the first day you met. Over the past few years, as you acquired more friendships and memories, those feelings only grew. However, recently, Mingyu has seemed a bit more distant, at least when it comes to any ideas of romance. It only gets worse when rumors fly that he's off to Japan to receive a marriage proposal! Unsure what to do, you wonder how you can keep Mingyu by your side without jeopardizing your friendship or your growing feelings. You never expected that waking up one drunken morning next to two hot angels would be your ticket into Mingyu's heart.

Genre: Romance, College!AU, Modern Fantasy, Comedy, Angsty

Length: approx. 6.7k words

Chapter 20 - A Surprise in the Fields

Mina saw all of their eyes widen as the room fell into silence. However, she only smiled.

“…What?” Her father asked.

Mina didn’t falter in her statement. She said it again. “I’d like to end my engagement.”

Now Mingyu piped up. “What?” he asked. Mina looked at him again, shaking her head as a cue for him to sit back and watch. She looked back to her father, who looked mortified. “I’m sorry, Father. I recently fell in love with someone else. Back home. We reconnected when I went back to visit Mother. I just…Mingyu isn’t the man I want to be with anymore.”

“…Was it the flower choice?” Mingyu asked. The unexpectedness of that comment had Mina chuckle a bit, and when she turned to Mingyu once again, he had a genuine look of concern on his face. “It thought they were really pretty and Christmassy.”

“How did this happen?” Mr. Miyou asked. Mina smiled.

“We met at a party.” She said. “It was really romantic. He introduced himself and when some drunken fool tried to bother me, he protected me. He told the guy off and stayed by my side the rest of the night. He and I only knew each other that day but he made sure I had a good time. He was so nice.” Mingyu’s shoulders dropped as he listened, biting his lip. Mina turned to Mingyu again, smiling sadly. “And then he took me to Tokyo Tower and we had lunch the next day. We had a great time. I knew then that would be the person I was destined to marry. That guy.”

Her father looked stunned as Mina’s eyes sparkled during her story. “Who is this guy in Japan?” Mina’s father asked. For some reason, despite completely expecting her father to ask such a question, she had not spent any part of the ride preparing a response that would make sense. She pursed her lips.

“Taro Yamada.” She said quickly. Mingyu immediately recalled the “drunken fool” from her Christmas party that was trying to bother Mina. He chuckled a bit in amusement.

“You can do better.” He said simply, putting his hands in his pocket. Mina smiled.

“The point is, I don’t want to be with Mingyu anymore. We have spent time together trying to make this work but…it seems we both love different people. And I know Mingyu won’t end the relationship. He’s too kind. So, I will. I don’t want to be in a miserable marriage.”

“It was absolutely the flowers that did it,” Mingyu said under his breath. Mina pulled her ring off her finger, gently setting it on the table before her.

“I’m sorry, Father. I want to return home as soon as possible.”

“Mina.” Her father gasped, but Mina was already heading out the door. Mingyu watched her for a moment before his father called to him.

“Mingyu, what did you tell her?” He asked. Mingyu frowned. “Go talk to her and fix this.”

Mingyu looked down at the ring that had been sitting on his finger since the engagement. He simply slipped it off, setting it beside Mina’s. “No.” He said simply, before walking out of the office and closing the door behind him. He saw Mina stop at the top of the step and hurried over. “Mina.” He called.

Mina turned to him when she heard the footsteps. He looked grateful but also confused. “I told myself I wouldn’t win your heart unfairly. Even when I tried to, I failed.” Mingyu blinked. “I want you to be happy. I want you to smile. You can act well I’m sure, but you’ll never truly be happy with me. That’s just as miserable for me.”

“Mina…” Mingyu sighed softly. “I’m-.”

“Don’t you dare...” She said quickly. “I should apologize. I’ve taken two months of your life that you should have been spending in bliss with someone else. I won’t take her spot anymore. It hurts now, but I’ll be okay.” Mingyu nodded. “You should go find her.”

Mingyu’s head was still reeling from the experience. “I don’t think she wants to see me.” He said.

“She does,” Mina assured. “She has all of your presents still displayed in her home, and when she talked about you today, her eyes still had that same sparkle in them.” Mingyu watched Mina step closer to him. She got on her tiptoes, balancing herself by holding onto his arm as she kissed his cheek. He felt his ears heat up, and he looked away from her for a second. It made her laugh.

“Even so, she’s upset with me.” He said. “I messed it all up.”

Mina shrugged. “I know exactly what will make her feel better.” She suggested. “If I’ve learned anything about the both of you, a gift is the one thing she always expects from you when you’re away for so long.” Mingyu finally felt a real smile form on his face, and Mina once again was hit by its infectiousness.

“Okay.” He said. “I’ll take you back to the house and then-.” Mingyu stopped his mind immediately beginning to think. She watched him; her smile still prevalent as she waited to see what he would come up with. “I have an idea. I need to make some phone calls.” Mina watched as Mingyu prepared to stro forward, but stilled. Mina caught his gaze. “Come on.” He said.

“Hm?”

“I’ll take you home.” He smiled. “I also need your help.”

“My help?” Her eyes widened. “Even after all of this?” Mingyu nodded.

“I need to know what you think of my idea.” Mina hesitated for a minute, unsure if she should go. She remembered what happened the last time she tried to help him. However, the longer she stared at his beaming face, the harder she was finding it to say no.

“Okay…” she finally breathed out, before approaching him. Mingyu grinned, and the duo descended the steps. It only took a second for Mingyu to look in her direction.

“You’re not actually going to Japan to marry that ‘drunken fool’, right?” Mina had to laugh, covering her mouth.

“Over you? I’d rather spend the rest of my life alone.”

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶So Close Yet So Far🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

You watched as Joshua and Jeonghan paced the room in front of you. They seemed stressed, but a different kind of stress than they have expressed ever since your contracts flashed red in the first place. You had no idea what to say because you were just as lost as them, and you simply waited with bated breath for one of them to speak.

Finally, Jeonghan chose to. “We have another shot.”

“How?” Joshua asked. “Mingyu is living with another woman and has a ring on her finger.”

“Thanks for the mental image.” You said. Joshua quickly offered you a sympathetic look.

“Well, if it’s not red any more then that means we didn’t fail. It’s back at neutral.” Jeonghan said simply.

“I know that.” Jeonghan put his hand on his hips.

“We should really call Seungcheol now.” He said.

“I think you just want to see me get beat up again,” Joshua said.

“No.” He sighed. “But he’s the only one who knows exactly what is going on. He can tell us what this means.”

“That makes sense.” You finally popped up. “If he’s the head angel of your group, then he must be in the loop with how everything is going. Maybe he can give us more details.”

“I can if you want.” The three of you looked towards the new voice that popped into the conversation, eyes on the balcony. Seungcheol stepped in, closing the balcony door behind him. He put his hands in his pockets. “I was hoping I wouldn’t have to see you again.”

You pursed your lips together, confused by how jovial he sounded as he said that. “Thanks?” Seungcheol grinned at your question.

“Is it just you?” Jeonghan asked.

“Yeah.” He clapped his hands together. “I told them that if you two don’t screw this up royally again, they can all come with me to welcome you back home.” The duo shared a glance before Seungcheol began to explain. “I can’t say much, but I do know that both of you are so incredibly lucky. Whatever happened to Mingyu and this girl, probably won’t last. You need to act right now.”

“But what do we do?” Jeonghan asked.

“What even happened?” Joshua asked. Seungcheol glanced at you, the intensity of his stare making you shiver.

“Don’t be too upset with him, okay?” He suggested. “Hear him out.”

“Okay.” You said softly.

Seungcheol walked up to the two angels before him, patting their shoulders. “I can’t really say much else.” He said. “If he comes to you, help him out. Even if you’re upset with him-.” His eyes shot at Joshua, who immediately avoided his gaze. “I can’t stay around or do anything to interfere. But I’ll have my eyes and ears on everything.”

“Okay,” Jeonghan said.

“I feel like we’re about to rob a bank.” You said. You didn’t expect the trio to give you absolutely disgusted looks even suggesting something like that would happen. “I’m kidding.” You emphasized.

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶So Close Yet So Far🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

Mingyu was pacing the floor of his living room frantically. “Please pick up. Please.” He begged to himself, listening as the phone continued to ring and ring. Finally, when he heard a confused ‘Hello’, he gasped. “Hyung!”

“…Mingyu?” Hoshi sat up at his desk, pencil in hand and phone on the other. He looked over at his bed, where Jihoon was propped against the side. His eyes immediately rose from his phone.

“Hyung, I need your help. Minnie and Seungkwan won’t pick up.”

“They’re not happy with you.” He pointed out.

“Hyung, I need to make this right and I have my chance. I really need all of your help.”

“What about Mina?”

His eyes darted to the woman in question as she turned her phone off, sticking it into her pocket and examining her luggage, the one time this would probably ever happen. “I’ll explain everything to you when we meet. Please.”

He heard Hoshi hum on the other line and he was beginning to grow impatient. However, he had no room to make demands on Hoshi or any of his friends. He heard the bedroom door open and saw Mina pull a few suitcases into view. He hurried over, grabbed them, and helped her bring one to the living room, his phone still pressed between his ear and shoulder. It seemed she was on the phone as well, listening to the other person on the line. “Hyung, please.” He begged. “You don’t have to talk to me anymore after this if you can’t forgive me. Just help me.”

“Fine.” Hoshi finally said. “I’ll call the others and talk to them.”

“Thanks, Hyung.” He said. “I’m going to get dinner in an hour. If you guys help, please meet me there, okay? I’ll put the address in a group chat”

“Okay,” Hoshi said before hanging up. The uncertainty in his friend's voice made Mingyu exhale a deep sigh of anxiety. Looking down at his phone, he watched his background pop up. He had yet to change it since getting it back from his father, one of you, and him at the fireworks on the beach, holding up a half-burnt sparkler. It was one of the ones that did not get the entirety of the fireworks in the background. He could see Hoshi in the corner of the screen, remembering him and Seungkwan running around with their sparklers. He pulled up his photos, scrolling to that one and the others that surrounded it. His phone was a wall of similar pictures stacked beside one another of the both of you at the fireworks. He scrolled a bit farther, coming across photos of the group of you the morning of your birthday, stuffing their faces with muffins and coffee. Mingyu pulled up a picture of you standing with Hoshi and Minnie, Hoshi’s hands reached up to put a little birthday crown on your head. Even behind his arm, he could still make out your amused grin.

“Are they going to help?” she asked. Mingyu looked over, thumb ghosting over the photo before he could swipe. Mina offered him a little smile.

“I hope.” He said. “I can’t blame them if they don’t.”

“If I know anything about your friends, they’ll come through. They just seem that those kinds of people.” She walked over, catching sight of the photo on his phone. Mingyu held back the urge to stick his phone in his pocket when Mina reached out and took it. She looked at the picture. “I regret not coming downstairs for presents and stuff.” She said. “I was too emotional about everything. I made Jihoon tell everyone I was asleep.”

“Oh,” Mingyu said. Mina motioned the phone back as if to ask if she could continue to scroll silently. Mingyu, though a bit hesitant, nodded. She smiled, her finger swiping through each photo.

“She looked really pretty.” She said. Looking over at Mingyu, she smiled. “Must have been romantic.”

“Aha…” Mingyu’s cheeks turned red, averting his eyes. Mina handed his phone back with an amused giggle.

“No need to tell me the details. I know,” she said. “I saw.” When she saw Mingyu’s nervous smile turn into a stunned and embarrassed expression spread across his entire face, she laughed a bit. “Don’t look at me like that. You did it right in the open in front of the house. I’m sure everyone saw.”

“You think?”

“I’m almost confident,” she said, leaving Mingyu to groan in embarrassment at his hands. She simply strolled to the front door and patted her luggage. “Now, let’s get this by the door so they’re ready for my car.”

“Your car?” Mingyu’s eyes widened.

“I called while you were on the phone. I’ll be heading to the airport right away and going home.”

Mingyu waited with Mina outside of the house for her car, the one that would take her to the airport. “Are you going to be fine waiting at the airport?” he asked. Mina laughed a bit, nodding her head.

“Yes. I can easily have the family plane sent over to get me. If not, I have enough money for a ticket. My father won’t let me go back without a good enough explanation and I’m not really ready to explain everything yet. Besides, I miss home. Living in Korea forever would have eventually made me really homesick.” She turned to Mingyu, who stuck his hands in his pockets and rocked on his heels as a way to pass the time. “Make sure you actually get her to forgive you, okay?”

Mingyu’s expression soured. “You think she won’t?” he asked.

“No,” Mina assured. “I do. I’m just saying to make sure it will work.” Mingyu nodded. “And if you’re not planning to stop talking to me after this, I hope we can still work together one day.” Mingyu chuckled to himself, nodding.

“Maybe,” he said. Mina nodded her head. “Only if you promise to not marry that sleaze.”

“I told you I won’t.” She said behind a laugh, and Mingyu chuckled along with her. She felt a warm bubble in her stomach as his laugh hit her ears, a feeling she had long missed since all this happened. “This is exactly what I wanted,” she said, looking up at him again. Mingyu cocked an eyebrow, unsure of what she meant. However, she turned her heel, watching as the car she called for was approaching. “Ah. There.” she motioned to the car as it pulled up to them, the driver stepping out to help with bags. Mina turned to Mingyu one final time. “Go get her back, okay? Don’t let my sacrifice be in vain.”

“Oh, sacrifice, hm?” Mingyu again had to chuckle in amusement. He picked up her heaviest luggage, sticking it into the trunk before closing it. The driver opened the passenger’s door for her, and she offered him one more look. "Get home safe,” he said. Mina nodded her head politely.

“Bye.” She said, before slipping into the car. Mingyu crossed his arms over his chest as the car started up, pulling from the house and onto the street until it was out of his sight. It was then he felt his phone going off in his pocket a mile a minute, and he had to keep himself calm, the only indicator of his excitement being the corners of his lips curling into a smile. He immediately returned to the house to get his own things and head to the restaurant.

He would fix all of it. He just needed to plan.

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶So Close Yet So Far🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

Mingyy sat at the table of the restaurant, eyes darting nervously around the room. Servers were brought out food, patrons strolled in and out. The longer he waited, the slower time seemed like it was going. Therefore, the more anxious he got. Leaning back in his seat, he covered his eyes. They said they would come. Where are they? He thought to himself. Did they change their minds?

“Are you falling asleep over here?” A familiar voice alerted Mingyu straight ahead, watching as Seungkwan and Hoshi nestled in the booth across from him. Minnie plopped at his side, setting her bag on the table in front of her. He glanced at the figure at the edge of the table, where Jihoon was standing. Awkwardly. It was obvious that without Joshua, Jeonghan, or you in the mix, Jihoon kind of looked like the adult who was unfortunately placed at the kids dinner table.

Sensing the moment of awkwardness, he nodded his head. “...I was at Hoshi’s when you called.” He said simply, motioning to the flustered individual at his side. Mingyu couldn’t help but chuckle a bit, nodding his head.

“No, it’s a good thing you came. I didn’t know how to get in contact with Joshua or Jeonghan without…” his voice trailed off, but he shook his head. “That’s not the worry right now. I’m glad you guys came. I really thought you wouldn’t want to.”

“I was debating it,” Minnie said. “After the shit that happened at the engagement party.”

“I know.” Mingyu sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“Where is she anyway?” Hoshi asked, looking around. “Mina.”

“She…” Mingyu needed another deep breath, his heart beating in his chest like a wild animal attempting to escape its cage. “She went back home.” The stunned expressions from the table were expected, and Mingyu continued. “We uh…she ended it.”

“You’re fucking kidding.” Minnie gasped, eyes wide. Mingyu nodded sheepishly.

“Yeah. That’s why I called. I want to make things right. With everyone. You guys first.” He was clearly getting embarrassed the more he thought about it. “I fucked everything up and I am so sorry. All the help you guys offered me for her birthday plans at the beach house and I threatened all of it because of my father and his stupid fucking threats.”

“...Threats?” Hoshi asked soft worry in his voice.

Seungkwan’s “threats?” were laced with so much curiosity that his eyes widened. Mingyu nodded.

“He has files on all of you from school. He’s been keeping tabs since I started school and I had no idea. When he heard I had started a relationship he threatened all of your futures.” He shook his head.

“You really hurt her,” Minnie said, and Mingyu nodded in agreement, eyes cast down on the table. “I don’t think she’ll ever recover.”

“I know. And instead of sticking up to him and calling his bluff, I sat my ass down and took it.” He shook his head. “It’s almost laughable now. I’m so embarrassed.”

“You should be,” Minnie said. “It was a stupid decision that came out of nowhere.”

“I know,” he said. “But that’s why I need your guy's help. I want to make it right. Please.” he glanced at Jihoon, who simply listened, his eyes cast out the window. He scanned his friend's faces, all of whom took the silence to process what Mingyu had said. None of them looked shocked, but none of them looked angry either. The neutrality in their faces seemed to fuel the dread in Mingyu’s chest even more. “Please…” he said again. “Do I need to get on the floor and deep bow? I will.”

“...Absolutely, Hyung,” Seungkwan said, only to receive a stern look from Minnie. “What? He offered.” Before Minnie could convince Mingyu not to, he got out of his seat in the booth. The group looked around at the surrounding patrons, all of whom bore witness to this six-foot man kneeling down on the marble restaurant floor, hands pressed at his sides as he lowered his head all the way to the floor.

“I’ll stay here as long as I have to. Until you agree to help me. Not forgive me, but help me. Please, I cannot lose her over this. Or you guys….”

When silence filled the booth, he waited for the sound of squeaking shoes to follow. He knew it was coming, so he closed his eyes, forehead pressed firmly to the cool floor. However, instead of squeaking shoes, he felt a hand on his shoulder. Finally propping himself up, he saw Seungkwan leaning over.

“I was kidding,” he said in amusement. “Of course we’ll help.” Relief washed over Mingyu and it took every fiber of his being not to cry. He got up, sliding back in the booth. Just as he was about to open his mouth, Seungkwan stopped him. “We cannot listen to your plan on empty stomachs, Hyung.”

“You’re shameless,” Jihoon commented with a grin, and Seungkwan’s shield of confidence immediately crumbled him into a blushing mess. Mingyu, however, simply grinned.

“Order whatever you guys want,” he said, motioning for Jihoon to finally sit. “Before my father cancels my card. Max it out for all I care!” He leaned forward, calling over his waitress to finally begin serving them before finally diving into his plan.

As his table melted into the familiar chatter he had long since missed, he knew he could do this. ‘

Suddenly, Seungkwan’s eyes widened behind his drink. “Minnie! Give me my money back!”

“What? Why?!” She gasped.

“I told you the engagement would end!”

“You place a bet on me?!” Mingyu gasped.

“I said that he would end the engagement.” Minnie snapped back. “So technically you don’t win.”

“Neither do you!”

“...You place a bet on me?!” MIngyu asked again when he realized he was ignored the first time. Jihoon patted Mingyu on the shoulder, shaking his head.

“They’ve placed about 3 bets on you.” He said simply. Mingyu rolled his eyes in annoyance, watching as the duo argued well through the meal.

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶So Close Yet So Far🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

It was the following day when Joshua and Jeonghan were planning lunch. Joshua went to get it, assuming it would be you, returning from a needed stroll that you had decided to take in hopes of clearing your head. However, he was shocked when Hoshi and Jihoon were standing at the door.

“Not the pairing I would have expected, but I am pleased regardless.” He saw Jihoon sneak him a displeased sneer. “What do you need?”

“Mingyu needs your help.” Joshua could hear Jeonghan hurrying towards the door as well when the sink turned off, poking his head into the conversation. “We need to all meet at the campus as soon as possible. Do you have any art supplies?”

“Would the school not have art supplies?” Jeonghan cocked an eyebrow. “Why?” He brushed off the side eye from Joshua.

“What does he have planned?” Joshua asked curiously. Jihoon and Hoshi shared a look.

“How much time do we have before she gets home?” Jihoon asked curiously.

“A little while, I guess,” Jeonghan said.

“Let’s go,” Hoshi said, motioning them out. “We’ll explain on the way.” Despite being confused, Jihoon and Hoshi simply took the duo’s wrists and led them out of the apartment, Jeonghan struggling to close and lock up as he was being tugged away.

By the time you had gotten home, the apartment had been quiet for some time, the sun already dipping further behind the horizon. You saw the counters in the kitchen were filled with food mid-prep, an unusual sight. “Did they forget something?” You mumbled to yourself. Simply brushing your confusion off as nothing, you headed into the bathroom. “I need to shower. Even when it’s getting cold, I sweat.” With your arms stretched over your head, you made your way into the bathroom and closed the door behind you.

A warm shower was just what you needed to loosen your tight joints and muscles, some of which were still sore from the walking you were doing around the block. When you stepped out, you immediately sensed something. The same stillness that welcomed you home was still looming through the apartment. Tugging your shirt over your torso, you poked your head out of the bathroom again. “Hello?” you called. Nothing. “…Joshua?” You called. “Jeonghan?” Again, nothing. “Huh.” You stepped into the living room, sinking onto the couch and crossing your arms.

For only a moment, the peace that being alone left you with made you feel just that, peace. You turned the TV on, flipped through a magazine, and scrolled your phone. However, even with the buzz of the TV before you low, the silence was deafening. You looked over to the door, then the balcony. Nothing.

“What am I supposed to do?” You muttered to yourself. “I can’t remember what being alone feels like.” You hummed at the thought. Joshua and Jeonghan had been by your hip this long, being alone felt like a new experience. Even when you felt at your loneliest, they were always there to try their best to cheer you up. Looking down at your hands, you balled them into fists. “I really screwed everything up for them, hm?” you mumbled to yourself. It wasn’t cold, but your hands rubbed one another as if they tried making friction to warm up. “How many people can say that they fuck up a contract with two angels? It’s once in a lifetime and I completely missed the mark.”

You rose from the couch once more, making your way into the bedroom for some pajamas, ready to nestle into something comfy and end your day with a warm meal and maybe a beer. All you saw to even begin to remind you that they have been living in your apartment for the past few months was a few photos of the three of you along the college campus, and the beautiful burgundy dress that was hanging out of your closet. You walked over to it, gently tugging at the cloth. Your fingers brushed against it, tickled by the gentle feel of the fabric along your fingers. “This will be nice to wear for Christmas.” It was at the mention of the holiday, which was still two months away, but felt so close to you, that Mingyu popped in your mind for the first time in a while. His smile danced through your mind as he held out your birthday present. His hands ghosted along your neck and collarbone and he adorned it on your neck. You sighed, finally pushing the dress deeper into the closet and closing it, hoping to completely block the memories from resurfacing again.

It was then you heard the door opening, and you returned from your home. Expecting Joshua and Jeonghan, you were stunned to see Minnie. She turned to you, tugging her hair into a ponytail and smiling. “Hey.” She said.

“Hey.” You walked over. “What are you doing here? Everything okay?”

“Oh, everything is more than okay.” She said. “In fact, we need to go out.”

“What?” You asked. “Right now?”

“Right now.” She said simply. “Go get dressed.”

“I’m already dressed.” You said. Unimpressed eyes scanned your tee shirt and jeans, before staring directly at you with another wide grin.

“Go get dressed into something else.” She corrected. When you opened your mouth to respond, Minnie only pointed. “Go. There’s no time to argue with me. Trust me, okay?”

“What should I wear?” you asked, finally walking back into your room. You heard Minnie following behind. “I was planning on staying in tonight.”

“Wear something cute. Maybe a skirt and a cute top? Oh! Or maybe-.”

“Nicha Yontararak.” You said. Minnie’s eyes widened at the mention of her Thai name. “You did not set me up on a blind date, did you?”

“What?” Minnie scoffed. “No.”

“Minnie.” You said, unimpressed by her attempt to lie.

“I really didn’t!” She said quickly. “Trust me! Now, get dressed so we can go!”

She watched as you scanned your drawers for an outfit that better matched her very vague description of ‘cute’. “You’re going to 100 percent thank me later.”

“I very highly doubt that, considering how confused I am.” Grabbing a long-sleeved striped tee shirt, you made your way to the closet. Digging through, your eyes hit your red dress again, but you immediately pushed it from view in favor of a pair of denim overalls. “There. Better?” Minnie watched you hold the outfit up, her hands stopping mid-text on her phone. It took her a second, but she smiled.

“Perfect.” She said. You watched her look down, typing away on her phone once again.

“Who are you texting?” you asked curiously. “He’s waiting.”

“You’re date.” She grinned.

She only laughed as you groaned. “Minnie, what?!”

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶So Close Yet So Far🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

“I hope everything goes well,” Mingyu said.

“It will,” Hoshi said in assurance.

“Unless it doesn’t. Y’know, being horribly last minute and everything.”

“Why do we still invite you to things?” Seungkwan asked, looking down at the grinning Jihoon as he walked over to a collection of items everyone had brought.

“Hoshi told me to come.”

Hoshi had to cover his face when he felt Seungkwan give him a very amused side glance, choosing to ignore his friend as he continued to work. “I think this will be amazing, Mingyu!” Hoshi said frantically, hoping to divert Seungkwan’s attention. He was holding a few string lights in his hands, smiling.

“You think? Jihoon-Hyung’s right, it’s last minute.”

“It’ll be fine,” Jeonghan said. He patted Mingyu on the shoulder, making the broader individual look over. “She’ll love it.” He nodded, eyes wandering over to Joshua. He was sitting at one of the picnic tables, markers, and papers from the art room spread in front of him. He was scribbling something down, eyes focused on his job: making a few signs. He had already done 3, and this was going to be his fourth. Mingyu excused himself from Jeonghan, who watched him approach Joshua. Jeonghan crossed his arms before Jihoon called him over to help with collecting lights from a box. “Aaah, I’m already too tired for this.” he groaned, only to be ignored when a fistful of lights were stuffed in his arms.

Mingyu sat down across from Joshua, only the movement of the table making him look up. He set his markers down. Mingyu, flustered, looked down at the current sign. It was white, the only color coming from the red and pink hearts surrounding what looked to be the pencil sketch of a saying.

“Do you have everything?” Joshua finally cut through the silence. Mingyu nodded, patting his pocket in reassurance.

“Yep.” He said simply. Joshua nodded, eyes darting back down to color in one of the hearts. “Do you think she’ll forgive me?” He asked softly. Joshua could hear the worry and uncertainty in Mingyu’s voice, directing his attention back to the man across from him. Mingyu pressed his hands together in a tight ball. His eyes were shaking with unanswered questions. Setting the marker down, Joshua shrugged.

“I can’t say for sure,” he said.

“You spend more time with her than anyone,” Mingyu said. “That’s kind of why I’m here asking you.” Joshua nodded his head. “I can tell you’re still mad at me. I don’t blame you.”

“I’m not mad,” Joshua said, crossing his arms and leaning back. He scrunched his nose as he thought, finally nodding his head. “Just disappointed.”

“Oh come the fuck on.” Mingyu groaned with a slight chuckle, palm pressed to his forehead. He heard Joshua chuckle a bit and looked up once again. Joshua spun the sign towards Mingyu. A red marker spun in his direction as well, and Mingyu cocked an eyebrow. Joshua looked down at the paper, a small smile on his lips. “What?” Mingyu asked.

“You have to write the ‘I love you’ of course,” Joshua explained. When he saw Mingyu’s cheeks tint pink, Joshua only pushed the marker closer.

“Why can’t you write it?” Mingyu asked.

“Because if I do then I know someone over there will absolutely make it a bigger deal than it is.” Joshua pointed to the group of individuals who crowded the rest of the supplies. Mingyu chuckled, finally reaching out and taking the marker. Joshua leaned his cheek on his hand as he watched Mingyu write the phrase. “Besides. She wants to hear it from you, not me….” Mingyu’s hand stopped writing for a second, glancing up at Joshua as he simply reached for another color, leaning over and adding a few little doodles and decorations in the corners.

“...She really thought it was me she was confessing to?” He asked. Joshua nodded his head.

“Yeah. It was kind of cute.” he chuckled to himself. “She’s crazy about you, Mingyu. Did you know the first night I met her she was drunk and crying about you going on vacation?”

“Shut up, she was not.” Mingyu’s eyes widened. Joshua nodded, the duo chatting over the first night you and Joshua met as they doodled around the rest of the poster.

Nighttime got closer, which meant you were on your way with Minnie. Knowing this made Mingyu’s palms sweaty, and he paced the area in hopes of calming himself down. He felt his heart pick up, and he let out a shaky breath. “Oh, God I might throw up.” He put his hands on his hips, walking a few paces back and forth. “What if she doesn’t forgive me?”

“Mina’s still available,” Jihoon said. Hoshi hit him in the arm as he laughed. Mingyu took a few deep breaths.

“You think she’ll like all of this?” he motioned to the scene before him, to his friends who all once again banded together to help him out in a bind. Mina was right, they all really were there when it mattered.

“If we didn’t think it would work, we wouldn’t be here,” Seungkwan said simply, peeling at a few boxes of wrapped lights. “Just tell her how you feel.”

“I did that already. Like twelve times.”

“Do it a thirteenth,” Jeonghan said.

Mingyu ran his hand through his hair and snorted. “Oh wow. Thanks…” Among the snickering individuals, he heard someone calling his name. When he looked over, he saw one of the lingering students chatting to someone, pointing to the group in the field. Mingyu sprinted over to the edge of the field, where a woman in a pair of slacks, a bun with a baseball cap, and a polo shirt with a company logo on it. She had a white bag gripped in her hands. Mingyu studied the logo and saw it read Byeong Florist.

“Kim Mingyu?.” She asked. Mingyu nodded and was given a white bag. He took it from her hands, muttering a quick thank you before the woman nodded her head. He watched her walk away for a minute.

“What the…?” Mingyu looked down, opened it up, and looking inside. He was immediately met with a little bouquet of flowers, and his eyes widened. “Hm?” He pulled them out, seeing a note fall to his feet. He knelt down and picked it up, flipping the paper open.

Don’t worry. They’re not meant to be from me to you. Give them to her, okay? She’ll love them. Good luck! - Mina

When Mingyu looked up, the florist delivery woman was already gone, and Mingyu couldn’t help but chuckle. “Alright, then…” he said. Turning his head, he admired the scene before him. “She’ll probably be here soon,” he said.

“Minnie said they were on their way about 5 minutes ago,” Seungkwan said.

“What!?” Mingyu’s eyes widened. “Oh, crap. Okay, what am I supposed to do? Uh-.” Joshua watched as Mingyu rambled to himself, trying to figure out exactly what else he could do to make this perfect before you arrived. He reached out, putting his hand on Mingyu’s shoulder once more. Mingyu looked over, confused as to the sudden increase in Joshua’s physical touch at the moment. Joshua smiled.

“If you stress, she’ll notice.” He said simply. Mingyu felt his shoulders relax, and Joshua could feel his fingers tingle just a little bit. “You’ll be fine.”

“Okay.” Mingyu breathed out, nodding his head. “Fine.”

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶So Close Yet So Far🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

“Why are we going to the campus?” you asked, looking at Minnie. “Aren’t classes just about done for the day?”

“Yeah,” Minnie said. “That’s the perfect time for a date. Nobody is there to bother you. The guy is really nice. He goes to our school.”

“How do you know him?” you asked.

“We are in the same economics class.” She said simply. You hummed. “Just give him a chance. You should get back out there instead of crying over Mingyu.”

“I’ve done no such thing.” You huffed in embarrassment. Minnie’s eyes pierced you. “…Recently.”

Minnie eyed the school as it came into view, and you gulped. The idea of going on a date with someone when you spent all of your college life pining after Mingyu seemed…weird. You didn’t think you’d ever do something like this. However, Minnie reached out and took your hand. “Don’t worry.” She said. “I promise I wouldn’t steer you wrong.”

“Okay.” You said softly. “I guess I’ll trust you.” Your friend smiled in excitement, before picking up the pace. As the both of you headed onto campus, you looked around. Most of the buildings were dark, and closed for the night. A few handfuls of students were still around campus, most heading home for the night or to the library for a late-night study session. You caught a few glances in your direction. In fact, a lot of people were looking in your direction. You looked at Minnie once more. “Why do I feel everyone we see is staring at us?” you asked. “Do I look ridiculous?”

“No. You look cute.” She assured. “Don’t mind them.” Minnie led you down one of the paths on campus, towards the fields where you and Mingyu had originally planned for your birthday weekend. You could remember Mingyu eagerly telling you how he had planned everything for you already, and how excited that made you. The memory made you smile, and Minnie seemed to notice. “You haven’t even seen everything yet, and you’re smiling?”

“Everything?” you asked. ��I thought we were meeting one of your classmates.”

“I lied, dummy.” Minnie grinned. Before you could ask for further information, you and Minnie both turned the corner. When your eyes landed on the field a few feet away, they immediately widened.

Mingyu was standing on the field. It was dark, but you could make out his basic features. He was pacing the feet around him, seemingly deep in thought. You looked at Minnie, who shook her head.

“Idiot, I told him to put all of the lights on early so we can all see. It’s getting too dark.” She muttered. “HEY! Mingyu!” Immediately he looked up, and you felt a gust of wind beside you. When you turned to check it, Minnie was already long gone, hidden back around the corner. You could see her long black hair poking out a bit under one of the campus street lights. You turned your attention back to Mingyu once more, and he only smiled in your direction. You hesitated as you stepped onto the field, trying to get a better idea of what was going on. The light of the moon and the few lights still on only left you with a basic and dim view of Mingyu and his attire, standing in front of what looked to be a tree. You watched him turn to you.

When he called your name, you felt your heart speed up, pounding in your ears as the lights turned on. 

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[mama-qwerty]

The Knuckles Series - Review

Okay. So.

Finished the series.

I have thoughts.

First of all, it was fun. I view it as kinda filler episode material, that if someone watched just the movies they wouldn’t miss much. I watched it with my family and there were times we were all laughing and cheering and just enjoying the ride. It was silly and fun and Knuckles was adorable in every scene he was in.

That said, was it perfect?

No. No, it was not.

Here’s my take on some problems.

~ Setup felt rushed

We had the barest glimpse into Knux’s difficulty adjusting to a life on Earth, which, honestly, just made it look like he wasn’t being challenged enough. He can’t go from being on the run and fighting for his life at every turn to just sitting around playing VR and goofing off. That’s just not who he is.

Not to mention, his interpersonal skills are practically non-existent. He fought his whole childhood away. Presumably, anyone who came near him either wanted to exploit him, use him, or fight him. So he’s used to just doing things on his own, with no one to answer to, or take into consideration. That’s what I saw at the beginning—and honestly, it may have been easily handled had Maddie sat down with him and actually tried to get to know and understand him a little better.

~ Maddie

I felt for her, I really did. And I get that she was frustrated. Tom’s off who-knows-where, and she’s left at home trying to get the damage to the house fixed, while keeping tabs on three super powered alien kids, one of whom is actively attacking handymen, dragging a ton of dirt and sharpened sticks into the living room to make a warrior fighting pit, and dismantling the car to build himself an Iron Throne in the dining room.

She’s frustrated, and doing everything she can to keep herself from snapping. She didn’t sign up for this, but now has to learn on the fly how to deal with three very different, and very special needs kiddos.

But her referring to Knuckles as “our little red barbarian friend” kinda rubbed me the wrong way. He’s not a barbarian. He’s a warrior. He’s a traumatized kid who feels like the honor of his entire tribe rests on his shoulders. He’s struggling with this change and instead of trying to sit down and talk to the kid to explain how things are done on Earth, and see if there was some kind of agreement they could reach to keep them both happy, she just kinda gives up and walks away. Not very understanding, and doesn’t make her come off looking very good.

~ Pachacamac

Okay, this is just weird. Pachacamac, for those who don’t know, in the games is the warmongering echidna tribe chief who led the warriors in an assault to take the Master Emerald’s power for themselves. In the process, they enraged Chaos, the God of Destruction, who all but wiped out the Knuckles clan.

I know, I know, game and movie universes are different. The movie team has taken liberties before with certain aspects of Sonic lore, so this shouldn’t be any different.

Except it is. Canonically, Pachacamac is not a good guy. He’s not even a morally gray character. He is not an honored chief, who trained Knuckles and is now his wise spirit guide. He was the cause of the fall of Knuckles’ entire tribe, thanks to his greed and lust for power.

Making Pachacamac essentially Yoda is like changing Robotnik into a kindly grandfather figure. I mean, what??

The only thing I can think this harkens back to is Longclaw’s little hologram message from the second movie, in which she gives Sonic a quest to find the Master Emerald before Knuckles does. Which, okay, it’s a lost loved one giving a final message to help direct the character on a new path.

Except, Pachacamac isn’t a lost loved one for Knuckles. We did not see any interaction between Knux and Pach. We did see interaction between Knuckles and his father, who would have been a much better choice to send his son on a new path.

(I did, however, see this post that makes SOOOOO much sense in why Pachy appears to Knux, and instructs him to train Wade, specifically.)

~ The Master Emerald

Speaking of, WHERE IS IT? It was referenced numerous times, but never shown once. The absolute least the show could have done was show it well secured, with a Tails’ created security system in place. Show Knux meditating near it, or praying to his ancestors that they can rest easy knowing that the Emerald is safely back in the hands of the echidna once more.

The absolute lack of a presence of it is strange, considering the pursuit of it was what caused the near extinction of both the echidna and the owls. It was Knuckles’ focus for his entire life. Yet he simply leaves it behind without a second thought?

~ Wanda

OMG I hated Wade’s sister. Just, hated her. She was immature, abrasive, abusive, unnecessarily antagonistic with Wade (which seemed to be a life-long thing if the flashbacks are anything to go by) and just struck me as someone who was overcompensating for something. She’s a bully and it’s no wonder Wade is the way he is if he had to grow up with someone like her.

~ No Closure

We didn’t see them arrive back home, where Maddie would hand them their asses for just disappearing like that and not telling her. She was likely worried out of her mind the whole time. And I would have liked to have seen Sonic and Tails try to cover for Knux’s absence, in funny little brotherly shenanigans.

As I said above, I still found it fun. I loved Mother Whipple. I loved Knux’s interactions with her. I loved how Wade grew over their little trip. It was an enjoyable ride, and my whole family really had fun.

How would I have done it differently?

Well, that’s a different post.

[divinesangel]

So… is seunghan ever returning to riize?

— is seunghan returning to riize?

it seems like there’s a chance for seunghan to return to the group and end the hiatus. he is trying to show the company that he can be reliable and stable, but the decision hasn’t been made yet. it feels like they’re still in the process of healing from the situation or scandal. i sense that the company might still be very disappointed in him because of what happened, and it seems to involve a woman? whether he was caught with her or if she played a role in the situation, it feels like both he and the company are disappointed that things have reached this point because of someone else. the company, in particular, seems to be struggling with accepting this and coming to terms with it. if you’re wondering whether he will return to the group this year, it feels like they’ve been considering it. the company has been thinking about what to do in his case because they feel like they need to make a decision, but the scandal still weighs heavily on them. they’re unsure whether bringing him back is the right choice, and that’s why they haven’t acted yet. it’s as if the scandal was just too much for them to handle, and they’re still questioning whether he deserves to rejoin the group.

the energy around seunghan feels unstable and uncertain because he’s currently going through a phase of loss. it seems like the incident that happened was something that completely shattered his world and surroundings, a sudden and drastic change. now, he’s trying to fix things, but there’s uncertainty about whether it’s even worth the effort. it’s as if he’s giving so much of himself to something that may not have a solution, like that feeling when you invest everything into something, only for nothing to happen, leaving you with a sense of loss and hopelessness. he wants to show others that he’s consistent and eager to move forward, but there’s a deep fear of failure and losing everything he has. for now, he’s staying strong and trying to maintain a positive outlook, expecting some sort of change. it feels like he’s been waiting for something to happen for a while, and there’s a desire within him to come clean, to expose himself, and maybe start over.

it seems like the waiting and uncertainty are really taking a toll on him. he’s feeling hurt and unhappy, because there are so many things he wants to do, but it feels like he’s unable to. if he leaves the group, it seems more likely that it will be his choice, not the company's. i sense there’s a chance he might leave because he’s growing tired of always waiting. it feels like he’s constantly waiting for someone from the company to approach him with an offer or a conclusion about everything.

as time passes, he seems to be focusing more on the future and what lies ahead. he’s very aware of his potential and knows he can achieve great things, which is why this situation is wearing him down. it feels like he’s walking on eggshells, hoping something will happen, but nothing is changing. he really wants to move into a better phase of his life and find the support he’s been needing, which he might not be receiving as much as he hoped for, or at least that’s how it feels to him right now.

when it comes to the idea of returning to the group, that’s where the confusion arises. he’s pondered it, but there’s a strong fear of judgment and public opinion. at the moment, he’s hiding from the world, so while the situation stirs some conversation, it doesn’t affect him as much. still, part of him wonders if coming back would be the right choice, and whether the company will even support that decision, given the reactions it might provoke. he wants to continue his career, but there’s a real risk that the company might not be on board. there’s a lot happening behind the scenes that you guys are not yet seeing (obviously). i feel like there are many conflicts within the company right now, and a lot of unresolved questions. despite the time they've spent on this, they still seem quite uncertain about what steps to take next.

when it comes to the actual question of whether he will return to the group, it feels like some more time needs to pass, as there seems to be some legal matters happening behind the scenes. i’m not sure if the company entered a legal battle or took some legal action regarding the scandal, but it seems that something involving the justice or legal system needs to be resolved first. i’m also sensing that a superior or higher-up will make the final decision about his return. it’s going to be a very carefully considered choice, and there’s still this energy of needing to think things through deeply before taking any action. i feel like the main reason nothing is happening at the moment is due to these legal matters. once those are settled, it seems like things will start moving forward for this idol.

over the next four months, it feels like he’s going to have the support of a feminine energy in his life, someone who will stand by him throughout everything. but i sense that he’s going to grow very tired of the situation. he seems frustrated with not being able to speak up or have much say in what’s happening, and this might lead him to reconsider many aspects of his career and his place in the group. i feel like he may even try to talk to the company about it.

[serenelystrange]

- Still, he figures, it’s a better outlet than an underground illegal fight club. - In which Eddie is Big Sad after Christopher leaves, and Buck has never wanted to fix something more in his entire life.

On AO3, or under the cut here.

“We should talk.”

It takes Tommy longer than Buck expects to break, if he’s being totally honest with himself. It’s been nearly three weeks since Chris left Eddie standing there, with only Buck’s hand on his shoulder holding him together. Buck has barely left his side since, even though he feels guilty as hell about abandoning his new boyfriend when they’ve barely had time to settle into a relationship at all.

Buck just nods, leaning back against his kitchen counter with Tommy across from him, an unfortunate parallel to the beginning of their relationship.

“I’m sorry,” he blurts out before Tommy can speak, because he is. No matter the choices he’s made and how he doesn’t regret them, he is sorry.

Tommy stands in place, a few feet from him, and gives him a sad smile.

“I know you are, Evan.”

For a moment, Buck thinks about pleading. About promising to be around more, to prioritize this relationship more, to be a better boyfriend. But the thought is gone in the next moment as he realizes that it would just be empty words.

“He’s my best friend,” Buck says instead, gently. “I can’t just..”

“I know,” Tommy says, sighing slightly and rubbing his hand over tired eyes. “And you’re the best friend a guy could ask for, obviously.”

“Just not the best boyfriend, I guess,” Buck says with self-deprecation.

He looks up at Tommy with shiny eyes, and can see the moment that Tommy gives up his measured mask in defeat.

“It’s alright, kid,” he says, moving to stand in front of Buck properly. “We had fun, yeah?”

Buck can’t help but blush at that and give Tommy a wry grin. “We did have a lot of fun.”

Tommy laughs a little bit at that and moves to cup Buck’s jaw with one big hand, tracing his fingers over Buck’s eyebrow.

“You know,” he says, “if this was any other situation, I’d say we should still be friends with benefits.”

Buck shakes his head and laughs, “so now I’m a bad boyfriend and a bad lay? Hitting me where it hurts, man.”

Tommy rolls his eyes and brushes his thumb across the ridge of Buck’s cheek, before moving in for a soft kiss that Buck returns.

“You’re not a bad anything, babe,” Tommy says as he pulls away. “You’re just so deep in love with Eddie that I don’t even know if you can see it.”

Buck tenses under his touch, looking away guiltily for a moment.

“It doesn’t matter,” Buck says, looking back at Tommy. “Eddie’s not.. we aren’t… it’s not like that with us.”

Tommy nods, and pulls his hand away, tucking it into the pocket of his jeans.

“I believe you,” Tommy says. “But nobody else stands a chance with you until you guys figure out whatever the dynamic is there and agree on it.”

“Guess I’ll be alone forever then,” Buck says, only half joking.

“I doubt it,” Tommy says, too reassuringly for the breakup calls for, really.

It’s quiet after that, in a long silent moment, awkward in a way they don’t know how to handle when the adrenaline of anger isn’t present.

“So,” Buck asks, “do we hug goodbye? Or is this more of a handshake situation? A fist-bump?”

Tommy laughs and tugs Buck into a hug, still so damn fond of him.

“Not goodbye,” he says, squeezing him firmly. “Just a see you later for a while. We can be friends eventually, right? Just no benefits besides my dazzling wit.”

“I’d like that,” Buck says into his shoulder as he chuckles, hands clutching the back of his shirt for a moment before letting go as he steps back.

Tommy leaves and Buck almost feels guilty that his first thought is how soon he can get to Eddie’s house, but he’s looking for his shoes and grabbing his keys before the rest of his brain can catch up with the feeling.

“Hey,” Eddie says as Buck lets himself in. He’s sitting in the middle of the living room floor, a million pieces of Ikea wood surrounding him, a frustrated look on his face.

“Oh boy,” Buck says, locking the door behind him and coming to sit across from Eddie on the other side of the mess.

Eddie grumbles in agreement and continues glaring at the picture-only instructions as if he can light them on fire with his mind.

Buck just stretches his back and cracks his neck, before snatching the instructions from Eddie before he tears them into pieces.

“So, what are we building?” he asks, the breakup instantly pushed to the back of his mind.

Eddie gives him a wobbly smile, the way all his smiles are these days.

“Coffee table,” he says, gesturing to the empty space the old coffee table used to be.

“Probably should have guessed that,” Buck says easily. “What happened to the other one?”

Eddie gives him a dark glare, for just a moment, and Buck is reminded of a bedroom in pieces and a terrified Christopher on the other side of the floor.

“Ah,” Buck says, softly. “Well, nothing wrong with a new coffee table,” he continues. “We’ll show Sweden how it’s done, yeah?”

“Fucking Sweden,” Eddie spits out the words, and Buck knows this table is more than likely going to end up as unneeded kindling.

Still, he figures, it’s a better outlet than an underground illegal fight club.

They get to work.

Christopher finally texts Eddie back after a month of living with his grandparents, and Eddie damn near bursts into tears at work when he does.

“What’d he say?” Buck asks, tugging Eddie aside so they can hide behind one of the trucks for privacy.

Wordlessly, Eddie hands the phone over to Buck and slumps back against the truck, still visibly fighting off tears.

Hi dad. Texas is fun, I got to go swimming with my cousins yesterday. Love you.

“That’s it?” Buck asks, before he can help himself, and Eddie just snorts in agreement.

“He saves all his words for girls, I guess,” Eddie says, ruefully.

“Still,” Buck says, “that’s progress.”

Eddie nods once, swallowing over the lump in his throat.

“I just miss him so much,” he says quietly, breaking Buck’s heart all over again.

All Buck wants to do is wrap Eddie up in a hug until everything is ok again, but the alarm goes off before he can even try.

“This is so much fun!” Eddie grins as he yells to Buck as he jumps up and down to the music, too drunk to call it actual dancing.

Buck grins back widely and just as drunkenly, and hands over the newest round of shots to Eddie and Ravi before downing one himself.

Ravi gives him a mock salute before melting back into the crowd and leaving them alone. A punk rock show in a packed bar hadn’t seemed like the best idea when Ravi had proposed it, but so much alcohol later, Buck is beginning to see the appeal. The band is screaming something at them and the crowd is screaming it back at them with joyful rage, but Buck can’t make out the words. He doesn’t think Eddie can either, but he’s certainly yelling back at the stage with gusto.

“We might be too old for this,” Buck yells back, but Eddie can’t hear him, or pretends not to. His eyes are closed and he’s scream singing so loud that his throat is bound to be raw in the morning, but he’s also more relaxed than Buck has seen him in weeks, so he lets it go.

“Fuck the patriarchy!” Buck yells into the crowd, unsure if that’s right, but figures he guessed well enough when they cheer around him.

“It’s not about horses!” Eddie yells back, red-faced and beautiful.

Buck laughs so hard that liquor shoots up his nose, but he’s too happy in that moment to even feel the burn.

“Maybe we should drive to Texas and see him,” Buck says one night after work. “He’s been texting you more often, right?”

“I can’t,” Eddie says, curled up on himself on his couch. “I just..” he says, sighing.

“You’d be too tempted to throw him in the truck and make a break for it?” Buck says, laughing even though he knows it’s true.

“Exactly,” Eddie says, shrugging helplessly. “I don’t want to make it worse, but I don’t know if I’d be able to think straight if I was actually there.”

“I get it,” Buck says.

After a moment, Eddie clears his throat and gives Buck a tight smile.

“You could go see him if you wanted,” he says. “He was never angry at you.”

“Absolutely not,” Buck says, surprised at his own vehemence. “Not without you.”

“You don’t have to punish him because he’s pissed at me,” Eddie says, giving Buck an earnest look. “I know how much you miss him, too.”

“I do,” Buck agrees. “But Eds, he’s your kid. I wouldn’t do that.”

“He’s your kid, too,” Eddie says, and it should make Buck’s heart soar, but all it does now is make him sad.

“Yeah, well,” Buck says around the lump in his throat, “I’ve never hit a lady before, and I don’t want to break that streak if your mom says something bitchy.”

Eddie laughs at that, startled at Buck’s matter of fact tone.

“Guess you’re stuck here with me, then,” he says.

And that, that’s the one part of all of this that Buck doesn’t hate.

Buck comes home to his loft one day in early August, needing to refresh the bag of clothes he’s been living out of at Eddie’s, to find Eddie himself pacing around his kitchen like a restless wild animal.

“Eds?” he asks, eyeing Eddie warily. He’s got a piece of highlighter pink paper crumpled in one clenched hand, and a haunted look on his face.

“I got the mail,” Eddie says, sounding shockingly calm despite his frenzied appearance.

“Ok?” Buck asks, placing his bag down in front of the closed door and approaching Eddie slowly.

“I couldn’t go back into the house,” Eddie says, still clutching the paper. “I thought I was doing better, you know?”

“You were,” Buck says, “You are, I mean.”

“I’m not,” Eddie says, shoving the paper at Buck when he stands just a foot from him.

Buck steps back slight and uncrumples the paper, seeing the announcement from Chris’ school about the upcoming Open House to kick off the new school year.

“Shit,” Buck says softly. “Already?”

Eddie nods.

“School starts in less than a month. And I haven’t even told them that Chris isn’t coming back.”

“You don’t know that,” Buck says, desperately. “He can still come home in plenty of time.”

Eddie nods again, before crumpling like the paper was and falling into the hug Buck offers.

“But what if he doesn’t?” he asks into Buck’s neck.  “What if he wants to stay there forever? I know I’m supposed to want what makes him happy, but what do I do if he never wants to come home?”

Buck rubs his back soothingly and holds him close, letting him cry it out.

“Hey,” he says after a bit, pushing Eddie up gently so that he can look him in the face. “It’s gonna be fine,” he says, resolutely.

“You can’t..” Eddie starts, but Buck interrupts him.

“The way I see it,” Buck says. “The cost of living is cheaper there, right? Maybe, anyway, I’d have to research it. But everywhere has fires. We can find jobs.”

“We?” Eddie asks, eyes wide and wild as they look up at Buck.

“Obviously,” Buck says. “I’m not letting both of my best friends leave me.”

“You hate the humidity,” Eddie says, frowning as if something as trivial as weather would change Buck’s mind.

“I love you more,” Buck says, simply. As if he hadn’t just turned Eddie’s entire world view upside down.

Eddie smiles at him then, almost shyly, before dropping his gaze.

“I want..” he says, before sighing at himself in frustration. “I don’t know what I want,” he continues, looking back up and giving Buck the full brunt of his big brown eyes. “But I know I want you with me.”

“Yeah?” Buck asks, unable to stop the hope warming his chest from the inside.

Eddie nods again, and then again, almost frantic with it until Buck reaches out and cradles his face in both hands.

“We’ll figure it out,” Buck promises, rubbing his thumbs soothingly against Eddie’s unfairly sculpted jawline.

Eddie grasps Buck’s waist and closes his eyes, taking what feels like his first deep breath since the day Christopher walked out the door.

Another week later, Buck and Eddie are brainstorming ways to tell Cap they’ll be leaving in hushed tones, avoiding the others at work and their nosy ears, when Eddie’s phone rings.

“Probably just spam,” Eddie says, rolling his eyes as he pulls the phone out of his pocket.

Buck’s laugh catches in his throat as Eddie’s face lights up for a moment before he schools it.

“Hey, mijo,” he says in a remarkably calm voice, considering he hasn’t heard his son’s voice in months.

Buck gives up all pretense of being cool and crowds himself right up next to Eddie so that he can hear the call.

“Hey, dad,” Chris says, voice somehow both deeper and smaller than Buck remembers.

Eddie smacks Buck away from him, but he puts the phone on speaker before Buck can get offended.

“What’s up?” Eddie asks, voice neutral but knee shaking under Buck’s gripped hand.

For a long torturous moment, there’s no response, and Eddie fights back the urge to rush him into speaking.

“Remember when I left?” Chris says.

“Of course I do,” Eddie says, sharing a hopeful look with Buck over the phone he holds between them.

“Are you too mad at me to let me come home?” Chris asks, and Eddie wants to cry.

Buck does cry, silently and unashamed.

“I’m not mad at you,” Eddie says quickly. “And even if I was. Chris, I’d never be mad enough that you couldn’t come home. Not ever.”

“I miss you,” Chris says, sounding unbearably young. “And Buck. And my friends.”

“Then I’ll come get you,” Eddie says. “I’ll leave right now, I can be there by morning.”

“Our shift ends in an hour,” Buck says, smiling when he hears Chris laugh.

“We’ll leave in an hour, then,” Eddie says, grinning.

“Buck, too?” Chris asks, hopefully.

“I’ll be there, Buddy,” Buck says. “Promise.”

“Go pack,” Eddie says, as the bell goes off around them, “I’ll call you back before we leave, ok baby?”

“Daaad,” Chris sighs at the name.

“Deal with it,” Eddie says, laughing. “You’ll always be my baby and I’ll always love you, no matter what.”

“Fine,” Chris sighs again, but he sounds secretly pleased, Buck thinks.

“I love you, too,” he says after a moment. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He hangs up before Eddie can say anything else embarrassing, but he doesn’t even care. His baby is coming home.

“Lets go, boys!” Bobby yells from across the room, giving them an incredulous look.

“Coming, Cap!” Buck says, tugging Eddie along, laughing as they go.

“You ready?” Bucks asks as he waits by Eddie’s truck, the keys in his hand.

Eddie makes sure the house door is locked and jogs over to where Buck is standing, giving him only a moment’s heads up before tugging Buck in for an enthusiastic kiss.

“Yeah,” Eddie says, hands still on Buck’s shoulders and thumbs rubbing both sides of his collarbone. “Yeah, I’m ready.”

Buck can only grin back at him with sunshiny awe.

“Then let’s go get our kid.”

The End

[thenationaltreasuregazette]

Book of Secrets Fails as a Sequel on Every Level

2/?: Ben's Character Arc

We begin our deep dive into National Treasure: Book of Secrets by taking a look a Ben's character arc. The main problem here is that there isn't one. Even a little bit.

Just to refresh for those of you who don't steep in the brine of media analysis all day, a character arc is the change a character undergoes from the beginning of the story to the end. It's why we tell stories. That's an oversimplification, perhaps, but it's also true.

Stories are generally about a person who wants a goal, and faces obstacles in attempting to get it. In going through the ordeal of pursing their goal, they change. In most stories—and certainly most Disney blockbusters—that change is about fixing a flaw the character had, making them a better person.

A straightforward example is Marlin in Finding Nemo.

He starts off the story overprotective and unwilling to let Nemo live his own life, in a way that is detrimental to both of them. Through the course of the story he learns to let go of some of his anxiety, make peace with the danger of the unknown, and regain the trust he lost in both his son and the world/ocean at large. Hooray! Arc!

(Pixar movies are generally great places to see clear, well-done examples of story principles, with a bonus of lots of analysis to check out as well.)

National Treasure

Now. In all fairness, National Treasure isn't quite as straightforward a case. As I briefly mentioned here, Ben Gates actually doesn't have a character arc in the first movie. Or, more specifically, he has what's called a flat arc. Here, instead of the story forcing a character to change, the hero believes in their ideals so strongly that they force the story world around them to change instead.

Examples of this character type, also called a Paragon, include:

Superman

Captain America

Paddington

(these are good guy examples, but paragons can also be evil)

In the first movie, Ben believes so strongly in the treasure that he forces everyone around him to change their minds about him, his mission, and the reality of the treasure.

→ Patrick accepts Ben back into his life and even comes to support his choice to search for the treasure.

→ Abigail moves from thinking treasure hunters are somewhere between a nuisance and an enemy to actively becoming one herself.

→ Sadusky goes from pursuing Ben to letting him go and helping him get revenge on the "real" bad guy.

→ Riley doesn't really arc, which is not uncommon of a comic relief character.

But Ben goes from:

I believe the treasure is real and I'll stop at nothing to find it → I believe the treasure is real and I'll stop at nothing to find it and I was right.

The Ben we meet at the beginning of the movie doesn't have any trouble believing in himself. He isn't nearly dissuaded from pursuing the treasure. He doesn't have any strong hangups about breaking the law that he needs to overcome.

Which means he doesn't need to learn anything or grown in any way in order to complete the story. He changes the world around him instead.

Thus, a flat arc.

But what's key here is character change is still happening!

Book of Secrets

In the second movie Ben doesn't change either. But a flat arc is not the same as not having an arc at all.

In the second movie, Ben has already made the changes he can make to the world around him by believing in the treasure. Patrick, Abigail, and Sadusky are all already on his side. Their minds have been changed.

Except for the breakup, which we'll get to.

So Ben still believing so strongly in another treasure isn't affecting the story in the same way. Also why tf would everybody believe that Mr. Templar Treasure couldn't find another treasure?? But that's a topic for another edition.

He needed to have a character arc in the second movie, and he doesn't.

He starts out as a self-centered prick with a superiority complex who refuses to listen to his loved ones when they tell him he's not respecting them...

...and after a daring, life-or-death race to the City of Gold...

...he remains a self-centered prick with a superiority complex who refuses to listen to his loved ones when they tell him he's not respecting them.

Great work team; we learned nothing.

The reason this is a problem is because it leads to an unsatisfying story. The story feels unimportant. If everybody—but especially our hero—is the same person they were at the start, then why did they bother doing this?

More to the point, why did we bother watching it?

More on Ben's arc next time →

[ragsy]

Hey congrats do the whole list for Kenny

🔫🔫🔫

Oh, pvp enabled, OKAY LET'S GOOOOO

are they associated with a certain color? what color do they wear the most?

not really sure, actually! i've only drawn him a handful of times and only one of those times was colored in, so i haven't quite figured out his color palette yet. desaturated purple comes to mind when i think on it, though

what sort of music would they like? have you thought about what genres or bands do they lean towards? do they have a favorite song?

His music taste is what i can only describe as "my real life father's mp3 player on shuffle" which is. Not anything that anyone on here has any frame of reference for!! But that would include, but isn't limited to: Cat Stevens, Manu Chao, Sheryl Crow, Third Eye Blind, Fatboy Slim, Fleetwood Mac, Traffic, Green Day, David Bowie, Led Zeppelin, Shpongle.

weapon of choice? any particular reason they chose their weapon?

Uuhhhh technically his character sheet lists his weapon as his walking stick, (it only does 1 damage) (he never uses it as a weapon, he has never once in his history on a monster hunting team hit anything with his walking stick)

The rest under here 👇

how crafty/resourceful are they?

Middlingly average, for the most part. He's much better at navigating problems than actually solving them; he'll look towards his team members if something needs fixed.

how do they typically dress? does their wardrobe lean more towards practicality or aesthetics?

Sweaters, slacks, polo shirts, sneakers. Retired guy in american suburbia swag.

how do they wear their hair? do they care a lot how their hair looks?

he keeps it somewhat short, but he doesn't really care how it looks anymore. he's grateful to still have most of it, so he just kinda lets it do what it wants. he also used to have a well-maintained goatee before his time in the Other Place, but since returning to the real world, he's only done the bare minimum of keeping his facial hair mostly trim.

favorite animal? why?

not a huge animal guy, honestly! he finds the presence of birds to be extremely reassuring, though. 

do they have a nickname? who gave it to them? if it's not derived from their real name, what's the story behind it?

i guess kenny is technically a nickname (he always introduces himself as kenneth, and everyone else always decides "oh this man is a kenny actually"), but he's much more of a giver of nicknames than anything else

favorite food? least favorite? are they a picky eater? do they have any dietary restrictions?

always a big fan of fresh baked goods, especially blueberry muffins. he has some challenges with eating these days-- after having spent five years in the Other Place not needing to eat or sleep, stuff tastes weird to him now. He's got a mental list of safe foods, but he tries not to be a bother when other people are cooking, so he'll try his best with what's available to him.

if they wear jewelry, what kind? do they prefer silver or gold? do they have a favorite gem?

gold wedding band :( (deadwife trope)

what do they have in common with you? how are they different? would you get along with them?

i gave him my fear of being forgotten and love for terrible dad jokes, what else could he need?

we're actually more different than alike, i think. he's just lived an extremely different life than me; he's a 65 year old heterosexual retired dentist who has been married and has a daughter who is my age. i am literally none of those things. but i think we would get along really well; he's based heavily on some of my own extended family who i already like fairly well, lol

how long have they been around? do you know their birthday? is their birthday the day you made them or another day? what do they think of celebrating birthdays?

i've had him as a character since... roughly 2020? but he was extremely different in that iteration (a haunting-the-narrative NPC in the motw campaign i ran and have since completed). his current iteration came about earlier this year when i rewrote him from the ground up to be a motw player character. also his birthday is march 17th, 1959 and birthdays are... complicated. if someone tried to throw him a party he would be GRATEFUL, and he would offer to celebrate someone else's birthday with them, but he doesn't know how to think of his own birthday anymore. he spent ages being extremely unmoored from the passage of time, you know? makes it hard

what languages do they speak? how fluently?

fluent in english (his first language), more than a little bit of mandarin (from his grandparents) and spanish (he had some patients who only spoke spanish; he always made an effort to be able to directly communicate with them whenever possible). the latter two are largely forgotten from disuse, though

are they any good with numbers?

he's actually pretty good with numbers, but it doesn't come up very often anymore. he's itching for the day that someone comes to him for help with their taxes

how big or small is their family? who did they live with growing up? do they live with anyone now?

very, very small. he was his parents' only child, he had a language barrier between him and one set of grandparents, and he never knew the other set. his late wife had a big family, who he has since fallen out of contact with (with the exception of his beloved nephew charlie). he has one daughter, who he is trying to reconnect with. he currently lives alone.

do they have any pets? what do they call their pets?

no pets, and he would never ever ever consider franklin the potted plant to be a pet. that's his TRAUMA BONDED BEST FRIEND

how did they spend their summers/free time as a child?

wildly unsafe summer camps of the 1960s/1970s. here you go child, have some lead paint to play with

their opinion on lying, stealing, and killing?

top three things to make kenny disappointed in you

are they quick to anger? what sets them off?

very, very slow to anger. will ALWAYS give someone the benefit of the doubt, but if they really are in the wrong, he will bottle it up for as long as possible. when he finally breaks, it's hysterical and venomous. he generally hates being angry more than he hates the things that *make* him angry

if applicable, can they drive? if they have their own, what color is their vehicle? is the inside neat and tidy, or a mess?

he's got a royal blue toyota prius :]

it's pretty tidy inside, for the most part. gotta make sure there's space for passengers inside, it's not a large vehicle to begin with!!

their favorite place to be?

alice's house, with everyone else there with him

do they sleep well at night?

HA, no, lmao

5 years not needing to sleep will fuck up your sleep schedule once you finally have to again. he wakes up at odd hours, falls asleep at even odder ones, and has crazy weird dreams (which he then has to write down in his dream journal before he can go back to sleep again)

how would you describe their voice? can they sing?

quick and flighty, like he has to get his words out as fast as he can before something stops him. he stammers a lot. he's not a great singer by any means, but he's not immune to singing along to a favorite tune in the car or in the kitchen.

do they have any creative hobbies? (art, writing, music, etc)

he tried out a lot of different hobbies while trying to adjust once his daughter moved out, but none of them stuck. he tries to augment his dream journal with drawings whenever possible, so i guess that counts? 

how good/bad is their hearing? what about their eyesight?

hearing is actually pretty good for his age; eyesight isn't great though. he's been a glasses wearer since the second grade, and it's only gotten worse as he's aged

how do they move? are they clumsy? light on their feet? do they use mobility aids?

he's not quick by any means, but he can get around just fine. he has a chronically bad knee from a car crash earlier in his life that was exacerbated by an injury during an encounter with the lighthouse keeper. he walks with a cane on days when he needs extra support.

if applicable, do they have a favorite sport? do they play any sports or prefer to watch?

he understands the appeal of sports, but was never very athletic and never really got into watching them. he'll still tune into the olympics though, just to see what crazy things they're doing with spheres and gravity in athletics these days

how do they show that they care about someone? how do they express that they don't like someone?

He cares a lot about most people he meets, so it is generally easier to tell when he *doesn't* like someone; his warm, inviting manner turns curt and closed. 

are they associated with any particular element (air, earth, fire, water)?

Air, probably? I've no grounds for this, it just feels right

do they smell like anything notable?

Uuuuuuuuuh i dunno, come give uncle kenny a whiff and tell me what you think

do they like receiving gifts? giving gifts? what is their ideal gift?

He LOVES giving and receiving gifts, he eats that shit up, but if he's the only one receiving and not giving anyone anything he starts to feel really guilty about it. His ideal gift is something small yet thoughtful. He's going to be thinking about the magic walking cane that Charlie gave him forEVER

do they have any habits that aren't particularly self-destructive, just maybe odd?

He carries around a potted plant like his life depends on it, he's removed the doors from every room and cabinet in his apartment, and he hesitates before passing though any sort of entryway

if applicable, how would your other characters describe them? i mean specifically the people around them.

Mark's the only other one who has met him, and he would describe him as "uh. Nice, i guess? He talks too much, and he's kinda weird like he's on a different planet than everyone else, but he seems... harmless."

how would your character describe themselves? it doesn't have to line up with how they really are.

"Who, me? Ah, I'm just some kook who got lost once, haha!"

do they ever return home?

He's tried. That house isn't really home anymore; home feels more like the people he's with nowadays.