#i can get when its comedic effect kind of

[defiant-firefly]

I don't follow the Inscryption tags too closely and I'm not hyper invested in it (though I DO love it) but whenever I see Grimora art why is she always... Small? I'm not an expert, I don't know how fat her model is or anything but like... I see her drawn very skinny to what I remember and just think "... But why...? Baby girl grandma who hurt you???"

[suffarustuffaru]

hello everyone i made a quick summary of main route ottosuba. hope this helps.

[izartn]

What's good about KnH is (besides its main char and bc of Maomao) the way it manages the power dynamics and what life was as a woman without falling into utter pessimism and powerlessness or full romanticism; which is a reason I usually avoid like the plague historical/pseudo-historical fiction with female leads.

Usually I'd be super skeeved out by the power Jinshi has over Maomao but the way the series presents both of them, their personalities and their agency (limited as it is for Maomao but it's there and it counts very much) it brings out all the best and interesting parts. I trust this series to get twisty with them bc it establishes so well Maomao own character and understanding of her situation and the ways Jinshi can and does or doesn't take advantage of his power over her.

Like. It's presented as a problematic element, but also unavoidable given their social situation and the world they live in, so I can trust given everything else this show has done when solving the mysteries and presenting us the situations of other women, that the romance will be treated with that same weight.

Honestly if you've read over what I like to read/watch in my tumblr you'll notice that twisty and even toxic/unhealthy dynamics are very much within my favorites, but it needs to be told in a certain way. And I'm much more difficult to satisfy when talking about het romance.

So to watch KnH, notice it's primarily about Maomao life and the various misteries/medicines/palace intrigue and the romance is playing second fiddle riffing on all the themes presented on the plot? And it's complex, and plays with messy power dynamics of gender and class, but never loses Maomao her personhood? Wow.

Also. Jinshi is so BL chara coded omg XD like, he's very clearly based on a kind of shojo ML prototype (hello tamaki suoh!) but it also pulls from BL in his case (nothing to do with their romances but I think of Yan Xiaohan re:his relationship with the imperial power, from Golden Terrace lol)

And yet his romance with Maomao wouldnt work near as well for what is trying to say if they weren't a man and woman (which I love in their case, is what has me fascinated). Yes~! Get into the meat of how fraught it is for a man and a woman to be together when the man has so much power over her. Get into it!!!!

He's so so messy and fun as a chara too. Sheltered and not at the same time, you really notice all the things he misses by way of his privilege of being a noble born man (and specifically royalty, last ep (19) left that very clear he was doing a ritual probably by proxy for the emperor and also bay exchanges people. Maomao noticed and buried that thought far far below her subconscious but we all now who he is lol). Like. The way he fumbles and ends up essentially harassing Maomao at the start sometimes, which is both played for comedic effect and also upsetting. Mmm.

Like I said, I like complexity.

Also that part when he buys Maomao contract and he goes to collect her and she's all dolled up, and the clear implication by everybody but our mains (who clearly prefer to live in willfully blind land although for Jinshi I think the subtext of what he's doing lands when he sees her) is that in any other case she'd be his concubine/side-wife. It's not their situation wight now, and she's put to work as a live-in maid and apothecary and put to study (he wants her to assist him in politics lol I love that, but also he's so so lonely) but it's very much what the palace rumor mill says.

LIKE. I love the messiness! It could go soooo badly, but it also could not and there's Maomao living at the edge bc despite herself and what she says, she wants more from life, but also as she says the rear palace isn't all that different from the high class brothels and ugh. That tension. She has to depend on the favor of a man as a women of low class but she also could lose her head! GAH. And then there's feels involved! Aaagh.

[cellarspider]

17/?? Inappropriate relations between hugger and face

(Previous) | (Index) | (Next)

⛬

We return to the movie that is a menace to itself and society at large, Prometheus. 

Content warning for gore, death, orifice invasion, and, unsurprisingly,

Time to kill the sacrificial side characters! Well, at least, kill the ones that have names and distinct personalities, so that you are expected to feel somewhat bad for them. And I do. They didn’t do anything bad enough to deserve this movie.

I mean, they’re going to die because the movie turns them into morons to make this scene work, but hey. They’re still doing better than the guy who managed to insult his life partner’s father, faith, and infertility in the course of two minutes.

This part of the movie, in fact, leans fully into 80s-90s slasher tropes. The people who’re having sex are all going to have various bad things happen to them throughout the movie, with their severity and dignity depending on whether they display traits considered virtuous. But Fifield the geologist has committed the cardinal sin of hotboxing his suit’s air supply while they wait out the night in the creepy alien structure, so he shall be among the first to die. 

To make this work, they have decided to spend the night in the room right next to the decapitated alien body they refused to get near before. They do not seem to mind it now, nor do they find it worrying that the room on the other side of it is full of the black oil from the X-Files.

This is one of the other infamous scenes that everybody remembers about this movie. Millburn is not doing anything that a morally punitive slasher movie would declare worthy of death, but he is going to behave like a moron.

Remember I said ages ago that there was a cut scene where he apparently showed real reverence for the existence of non-humanoid, unintelligent alien life? That was meant to provide context for why he’d be so excited to see the world’s most genital-faced snake.

We, the audience, know that this is probably what’s become of some alien worms last seen being exposed to the Ominous Black Goo. Why didn’t it fully melt them like the Engineer at the start? Not explained! We, the audience weird enough to remember Prometheus twelve years after it came out, should also know that when a snake-like creature rears up, flares open a hood, and makes hissing noises, you should not try to get close to that critter. That is an angry critter, and it is going to do angry things to you.

Millburn is presented as the kind of herp-lover who finds a snakey critter cute, so he should know this too. He does not. That is impressively bad. The one impressively good thing about this scene is that the creature is largely a practical effect, save for in moments where it needs to move in ways a puppet can’t. At the same time, it’s unfortunately hard to tell that it’s real, due to its texture. This helps hide the transitions to CG, but it also leaves you less convinced that it’s there. Sometimes a more obvious puppet can still feel more threatening, because they are indisputably there.

Still, this scene is, despite the stupid context, effective at most of what it wants to do: creating a sudden, brutal spike of violence, with one small creature managing to act as an unstoppable force. Millburn’s arm is broken, Fifield is sprayed with acid blood as he tries to help and falls face-first into the black ooze, leaving Milburn to be killed by the creature as it breaks into his suit and crawls down his throat. It hits two of the usual beats of an Alien movie: acid blood, and overtones of sexual violation.

It made me feel squeamish, although that might have something to do with the fact that it has a weird parallel to a sci-fi comedy movie that had some unpleasant marketing back when I was a wee Spider: Evolution. Apparently, back in 2001, it was considered comedic to watch a giant mosquito crawl under the skin of a man’s thigh and imply that it bit him in the balls. Wee Spider did not agree with this assessment, and so now that’s burnt into my psyche.

The crew of the Prometheus is none the wiser, because nobody kept a watch on the two of them. The last interaction they had was Janek saying ‘hey, we detected movement in there with you, probably just a glitch tho, nbd’ before wandering off to have sex with Vickers.

I want to remind everyone that this is the movie that wants to deal with themes including but not limited to:

The creation and purpose of humanity

The ethical implications of creating human-level artificial intelligence

How religion intersects with science and crises of faith

Are we truly capable of grappling with any of the above

Genocide

This movie is an absolute mess. It is beautifully shot, and a competent shock-horror film when it feels like it, but that accounts for a fraction of its runtime, and basically none of the dialog.

It also fails at building tension for scenes like these, because it undercuts Alfred Hitchcock's principle of cinematic tension:

[Video description: An excerpt from a lecture by Alfred Hitchcock:

"Four people are sitting around a table, talking about baseball, whatever you like. Five minutes of it, very dull. Suddenly, a bomb goes off. Blows the people to smithereens. What do the audience have? Ten seconds of shock. Now take the same scene, and tell the audience there's a bomb under that table, and will go off in five minutes. Well the whole emotion of the audience is totally different, because you've given them that information. That in five minutes time, that bomb will go off. Now the conversation about baseball becomes very vital. Because they're saying to you, "Don't be ridiculous, stop talking about baseball, there's a bomb under the table!" You've got the audience working. Now the only difference is--and I've been guilty of, in the picture Sabotage, of making this error, but I've never made it since--The bomb must never go off. Because if you do, you've worked that audience into a state, and then they'll get angry because you haven't provided them with any relief. That's almost a must. So a foot touches the bomb, somebody looks down, says "My god, there's a bomb." Out of the window, then it goes off, just in time."

]

Prometheus tells you, over and over again, that the characters are in danger. Why are they in danger? Because they deliberately put themselves there. It's like they're a bunch of ordinance disposal experts sitting around Hitchcock's table, one of them nudges the bomb with their foot, and they look down and say "Huh! That's neat. Hey, take a poke at this, guys!"

The last bit of Hitchcock's principle is moot in this type of horror film, because there are only some characters that are positioned as being worthy of real worry on the part of the audience, which Prometheus also undermines--but not entirely. We still have a ways to go before they take his advice on that, though.

Next time: 

Many posts ago, I responded to Holloway’s behavior with an invocation of Clue:

The tables shall soon turn!

⛬

(Previous) | (Index) | (Next)

⛬

Citations for alt-text rambles

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/thats-a-penis 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tooms 

https://www.buzzfeed.com/adambvary/something-terrible-has-happened-here-the-crazy-story-of-how

[ladyluscinia]

Your post about Ed's trauma vs. the Stormtrooper fights is right on the money imo. What gets me is that it didn't have to be an impediment when there could have been a fuckery! The reunited Revenge crew, now even stronger b/c of Izzy's integration, could have pulled an amazing Theatre Kid con that highlighted Ed and Stede's creative chemistry and this underdog group's ability to Bugs Bunny their way past better fighters with no casualties. Instead, Ricky has the biggest fuckery of s2, wtf?

Re: This. I think the fandom might have made the idea of fuckeries more interesting and important than canon intended to, in hindsight.

Like the idea of doing piracy through primarily theatre gay productions that upend the risk of dying in combat in favor of special effects hijinks was a really good comedy concept. And it worked well with the two main character types we got in S1 - silly theatrical underdog who cannot win a swordfight for the life of him + dramatic hidden depths guy who became a legendary pirate but can't actually kill people himself - and the rest of the crew's vibe in general - eclectic misfits that will not be intimidating anyone. I even liked it for Izzy! I know we liked to say he was from Black Sails but tbh he really wasn't, and the guy who slashed up Stede's shirt without breaking skin was made for selling that kind of bullshit as dangerous.

But - for all the extensive meta tracking how Stede's underdog trickery comes out on top again and again (primarily from Stede blogs, obviously, though everyone seemed to agree it was pretty solid) - canon only describes 2 instances as fuckeries: the introduction of the concept in 1x06, and Stede faking his death in 1x10. Everything else - even in S2 - is just fandom extending the concept because we think it's cool and makes sense. Ricky doesn't do "a fuckery", he just betrays Zheng with a trick and makes a pun about it.

Looking back, I think fuckeries only exist as a thing in OFMD meta because we liked the thought of them, and the kind of comedic canon they would support (team crafts, hijinks, no danger, muppet logic). I think S2 makes it clear canon only viewed a "fuckery" as the symbolic first step in Stede being a pirate. He's introduced to the concept when he's not ready yet, and then he successfully crafts and executes one at the end of S1 (against people who aren't trying to fight him, crucially) to show his rebirth. Now in S2 he's free to move onto real piracy - life threatening situations and swordfights. The penchant for trickery and underdog jokes is just character flavor, not an actual pursuit of its own.

That's why raids in 2x05 are just raids, talking in 2x06 is just talking, and the Navy dress-up in 2x08 is not an alternative to getting past the British mooks, but some kind of leg up on surprise attacking them (at least that's what it kinda looks like?). It's not "a fuckery" - it's a battle plan that can be sprinkled with hints of fuckery to spook, befuddle, or surprise. You still win with skill at violence.

Piracy is an action/adventure genre about killing your enemies with swords, guns, and cannons, and apparently OFMD was never looking to challenge that - just play in the space of our cast getting good (or maybe getting out).

[mdhwrites]

I saw a post a while ago lambasting Amphibia for having its characters 'do the most horrendous shit imaginable' for the sake of comedic plots and get off far too easily for it. In their view, Amphibia took slapstick comedy way 'too far' sometimes. I thought this was quite hyperbolic; the protagonists made serious mistakes, but rarely anything I'd call unforgivable, especially since they'd almost always show a level of remorse. But it did make me think about the way immoral acts are portrayed in comedic shows, and how we, as viewers, can tolerate and forgive things we probably wouldn't in real life because of the way these acts are presented to us.

I mean, think about Hop-Pop using mind control on Anne, Sprig and Polly in Children of the Spore. If anything like that happened to you in real life, chances are you wouldn't react to someone violating your body and mind by shrugging your shoulders and going 'well, guess we pushed you pretty far.' You'd probably beat the shit out of HP and never talk to him again. But that episode is kinda self-aware about the awfulness of it all (which I love). Polly flat-out says the old frog crossed all kinds of ethical and moral lines XD

Going back to the whole 'too far' accusation, though, I'm pretty sure we're smart enough to understand the difference between a silly frog show and real-life crimes. I don't think there needs to be super realistic consequences to everything (as the post I mentioned was suggesting) when your focus is on writing a slice-of-life fantastical comedy. I guess the only real argument you could make is 'but it's teaching kids to forgive absolutely atrocious, unforgivable things!' And...maybe? But I'm pretty sure any kid with their head screwed on straight understands not to replicate or forgive immoral behaviour too easily.

I guess what I'm trying to ask is, do you think characters doing awful things for the sake of comedy or plot can go too far, in that they can unintentionally make characters far too heinous to sympathize with, or do you think complaints like those of the post I mentioned above are a result of taking something far too seriously? Is there even such a thing as 'too far' when it comes to slapstick comedy?

So let's talk about intent, tone and framing because these things REALLY matter to a story. It's actually part of the problem with fandoms wanting everything to be realistic, darker, etc. because they're really asking for one thing: For them to all be the same. To not be what they are because, you know, the fact that these are comedy cartoons for kids MATTERS.

But first let's actually shift gears AWAY from cartoons for a second to talk about things being genuinely irredeemable for comedy. MANY people are really against prank style reality tv because it preys so completely on human suffering. Because these people are doing terrible things to just normal people. I personally don't like the premise... But I like Impractical Jokers. That show frames it DEMONSTRABLY more about terrible things happening to these four friends, by these four friends, and usually the worst they do to others is leave them a little confused or a bit uncomfortable. One of the big elements to changing this is that all the challenges are effectively dares. Someone either commits to the bit or if it becomes too much, they dip out but they are ALLOWED to dip out, minus the final jokes which are always pretty much purely at the Joker's expense.

Are these four people bad people? No. But part of why we also know that is because it's television and they're doing it to entertain as part of being comedians. Bizarrely enough, a lot of modern cartoon fandoms seem to want to act like fiction IS reality. It's where you get people going "Oh, you're being so cruel to a 14 year old, nuerodivergent girl!" and me going "I'm being critical of a character in a narrative. Can you please stop telling me, an actual human being in the real world, to kill myself because of a fictional character?"

Because shock of all shocks, PEOPLE CAN TELL REALITY FROM FICTION! In fact, even kids can! The fucking video game industry had to go through this hell HARD to prove that killing people in a video game is not the same as having psychopathic tendencies in the real world. Do you know how many kids play CoD? And those kids are fine. At least most of them.

So with all of that preamble out of the way: When can a morality focused show fuck up?

It's actually incredibly rarely in the terrible things the characters do because the show USUALLY addresses these elements as part of the moral of the day.

For the example given of Hop Pop's mind control, it is shown as... Eerie to put it mildly. Even from go, Hop Pop only enjoys it so long as he doesn't have to interact with it. It is never framed as a positive besides a bit selfishness. However, Hop Pop is a good enough person to show genuine remorse and try to fix this. He puts in a lot of effort, is admonished as the lesson of the day is learned to not try to control people and to potentially compromise and then it MOVES. ON. Because they live in a fantasy world where anyone could die at any second. A day of none thoughts is not actually that big of a deal, especially since it wasn't done out of malice or even really on purpose. It's a part of the fun of the setting and of the fantasy genre as a whole that you can just do these weird concepts like this and move on because magic happens sometimes. You might grumble for a day or two but hey, at least it was your neighbor and not the king, am I right!? Hail King Andrias.

A big part of this though, and why so many morality driven shows can have characters do terrible things without imparting the wrong lessons, is because it's addressed. Pretty much explicitly. It is framed as wrong, addressed as wrong and then fixed because it was WRONG. Even if it gives momentary gain, that gain is almost always also included in being wrong.

It's actually a formula that Amphibia purposefully breaks for an episode, carrying it over from directly the one before, because there genuinely was one crime committed that hadn't been addressed and by the time it was, that sin had grown to a point where it was too reasonable to have a character still be mad to ignore it: The music box. Hop Pop hiding it is actually an AWFUL thing to do because it dooms Anne, it means her parents will never get closure, dooms the rest of Anne's friends, etc. etc. Hop Pop has to be okay with Anne never quite being fully happy because of always wanting to go home while also living with this false hope that he implanted into her. A trust he has not earned because of the lie.

So even after they theoretically have their morality episode about the box, Amphibia takes this time for such a PERSONAL attack on Anne to stick with her for another episode during The First Temple. It actually acknowledges that you don't get over everything immediately. That sometimes you need space. I don't even like that episode but the break in formula is actually meant to make the message more powerful, and does so successfully, especially because the crime was different. It wasn't of indifference or something quickly fixed. It was of long term AGONY and a complete breach in trust that would make one question what relationship they can have with another person. There's pretty much zero other crimes in the show like that besides Sasha/Marcy's betrayals, which aren't treated as easy fixes, and Andrias' betrayal is the heel turn that makes him the primary antagonist. These crimes, these personal, genuinely awful things to do to other people that could be replicated, unlike so much of the fantasy violence, are usually seen as something you do have to work on. It's a great, nuanced take on being a morality one off show while also being able to elevate some issues to being dealt with more seriously and consistently.

Also, quick note from someone on my Discord: They NEED to do bad things in order to teach! They are meant to be the bad example so when their actions lead to things going wrong, you understand not to copy that behavior. This is honestly storytelling 101 for most... Plots. Not just morals but plots. If the characters do NOTHING, nothing happens and nothing will be learned.

You want a show that will teach kids bad lessons and then reinforce there are no consequences for those? WELCOME TO THE OWL HOUSE! Specifically: The show that tells you to lie and keep secrets because your fear justifies keeping them!

I know that sounds shitty but like... Luz is the main character. For half of the show, she is portrayed as the second most moral character in the show behind Willow. She admonishes stealing, cheating, etc. as her contrast with Eda. Then after Yesterday's Lie... She literally can't stop lying and never faces consequences for it.

The closest actually comes in Falls and Follies where Amity at least forces a promise out of Luz to be more open with her. This actually though doesn't fix the problem, it just makes it WAY WORSE because one of the main targets of these lies, that kids can easily replicate, especially because Luz is almost always lying about things that might upset others which is the most common thing kids will lie about, is Amity. So now we have both lying and breaking promises. You know, two of the most basic morals any kids show should impart on the audience!

In Reaching Out though, Amity gets a little mad but then it's excused because of her dad! In Thanks to Them, no one gives a shit that Luz has been keeping secrets and lying for months. Camila makes sure Luz DOESN'T tell her friends the truth either about her plans. You know, Luz's MOM who should want her daughter to be an honest person. The show then constantly keeps cutting Luz off from telling anyone anything because it literally can't without revealing how bullshit what she's doing is until by the end of the show... Luz hasn't been punished in any way and the lies just... Drift away.

Completely unaddressed.

This causes a problem because while the lies theoretically hurt Luz... They hurt less than losing her friends. Hurt less than disappointing a parent. Hurt less than making her look bad. And this is the main character. The one kids are supposed to connect with the most. The one who usually most explicitly defines the morality of a show. And she is never punished or stopped from all. Of. Her. Lies.

(As a note: This is also how you get a lot of guys taking the wrong lessons from anime perverts. Sure, this guy gets smacked but he never loses his friends. Never faces real consequences. In return... He gets way more ass than the main character does, doesn't he? *gags violently*)

THAT is how you impart bad morals. It's not surprising to me that the fandom for TOH hides behind excuses so much for their show because their literal main character was justified, in fiction, to have all of the terrible things she did, all the choices she didn't have to make or the people she discarded, because she ALWAYS had an excuse. And so long as you have an excuse, by what TOH says, you can get away with fucking anything.

And mind you, that last part is NOT Luz specific. Have a bad uncle? Don't worry Hunter, the fact that you literally hunt, oppress and potentially kill wild witches can be entirely forgotten and ignored. Have a mean mommy? Don't worry Amity, we literally never have to properly address the literal years of bullying you did to another character or even how attempting to kill Luz was wrong. Collector? COME ON! You just had bad friends/family so now you just need good ones and we can forget all about you oppressing people for fucking months!

This isn't addressing these problems. These are excuses. And excuses can seem REALLY appealing to people. After all, how many hide awful acts or statements behind: "Come on, it was just a joke." Shields are useful for trying to avoid criticism after all. If you never acknowledge you were in the wrong, you don't have to feel bad for having done something mean, let alone terrible.

Just to bring it back to Amphibia: Sasha tries to do this. She believes she knows best so she feels justified in all she does because it will make everyone the happiest, at least in her own eyes. Then in Turning Point, she realizes the folly of her ways, addresses that she was a terrible person and plants her foot down FIRM. No more acting the part of protector while actually being a tyrant. She will risk her very life in order to right these wrongs. And we see it also in Commander Anne where she is taking the change seriously. These are two half episodes, a single episode in full, that lets us know that her actions were inexcusable and that they were wrong and now she is allowed to be a part of the good guys now that she has made sure the audience knows that they can look to her as an example.

One full episode to ADDRESS the fact that what Sasha did was wrong and to not excuse it but to learn from it.

That's why all these terrible things protagonists do in shows is fine. They learn from it. They genuinely regret their actions. They show the audience why they shouldn't have done it. It's never okay to the show that they did. Not that it can't be forgiven, because people should be allowed the chance to grow, but that it still wasn't okay.

For a kid's show, that is pitch perfect. It's why moral of the day storytelling exists and I can't really think of any huge errors in this department on Amphibia's side. It's pretty damn good at smacking someone over the head when they act like a jackass. At bare minimum, there are WAY worse examples out there.

======+++++======

This is absolutely one of those criticisms that has me look at the person making it and go "Just admit you don't like cartoons. Or children's media in general probably." Admittedly, there's actually plenty of adult stuff just as childish, no one stays mad in Family Guy, so it's probably just "You don't like cartoons." It's the sort of bad faith criticism that just reveals you as not having actually wanted the product but whatever you thought the product should be.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[sylvies-chen]

alright nobody asked for it and yet somehow I feel like this fandom needs it so let’s put our thinking caps on and talk about the women of the rookie, flawed female relationships, and where exactly the rookie falls short in terms of representation:

so I should start with the positives and affirm that the rookie does show very well the systematic barriers that a lot of women face in the workplace, from professional perception to workplace advances to insubordination due to sexist thinking in a largely male dominated field. and all of this makes for really great and sadly relatable content for us viewers, because almost any woman with a pulse has had an experience with a shitty workplace environment and discrimination. these barriers and prejudices are as old as time and it’s naive to think they don’t exist, so to see our experiences validated and recognized, especially with three women of colour at the centre of the show, is rewarding and is part of what makes the rookie sooooo good.

at the same time, how the rookie deals with those barriers narratively can be troubling. there doesn’t always seem to be a sense that the environment, the attitudes, or the system will or should change, but rather that these women will learn how to adapt to the circumstances around them and overcome the odds. instead of the hurdles being pushed to the side, the woman molds herself into someone able to jump over them, which then undermines the idea that the systems should change at all. and this feels good to watch on a surface level— watching a woman like nyla harper literally hold her breath underwater and then point a gun at a criminal after having just given birth, or angela prove she’s right on every case, lucy winning the shooting champ or being top of the class for UC school, bailey being flawlessly trained in practically every useful skill— but it becomes a problem when it doesn’t leave enough room for error.

and the only thing that truly bothers me about this show is how it writes its women into a standard of perfection that is simply unrealistic. nyla, angela, lucy, and bailey all have moments where they might seem a little fashion-obsessed, hypersensitive, sassy, or demanding, but these moments are mostly exaggerated for comedic effect (in a way that is stereotypical in and of itself). however, at no point are these women ever WRONG. save for celina making honest mistakes as a rookie which could easily be pinned on nolan too, the women of the rookie have seldom if ever had to genuinely apologize to their male counterparts. their reactions to events and circumstances they face have been nothing but proportioned and appropriate, they never leave a loose end hanging, they don’t crack under pressure or lash out. things often, to me, feel very contained when it comes to the women of the rookie, and I can’t help but feel like the rookie is subscribing to this more neoliberal, performative version of feminism that— where true feminism says women should be equal to men even when they’re imperfect or unlikeable or flawed or in the wrong or make mistakes— turns around and says feminism means women can be just as strong as men if not stronger and watch this impeccable girlboss make zero mistakes in heels and eyeliner prove our point.

this is where fandom reaction also plays a part in things. there is a tendency in this fandom to protect lucy at all costs, but because of the slightly one dimensional way the show writes women, this protective instinct often ends up protecting lucy from ever being wrong or flawed. and not flawed as in she has baggage or pain, but in that she makes a rash decision or lashes out or judges someone too quickly or gets too cocky, which are all normal things we’ve all done at one point or another. the storyline with tim kind of illuminates this well, because the one storyline which focused on lucy having to deal with a genuine mistake and learning to move on from it professionally was turned into a haranguing on tim for allegedly not being cool with her going into uc and letting her make the mistake when she asked for hardass TO tim instead of helping her. so the storyline which could have been about how an overthinker like lucy finds a way to let go of the guilt of a mistake and show growth from a previous flaw becomes a storyline about how she actually didn’t do anything wrong, and the system is against her. then the standard of perfection is maintained in fandom and in canon, because no one will admit where lucy has shortcomings… so she just never has them.

case in point also goes with nyla and angela!! because they are pretty much always in the right and are allowed to be as short as they want with people because of it. and they’re not necessarily good with people all the time (at the very least this isn’t shown to be a strength of theirs) but that could have been developed as character flaws in need of developing and instead it wasn’t. and now people in the fandom insist that nyla and angela are mean, vindictive, and hateful towards lucy because they looked at her wrong— which, again, leaves them no margin for error. but also I honestly believe the reason that fan reactions were so strong was because we never see this women be anything but supportive to each other, and we never see them be anything but badass!! lucy can’t be in the wrong and they need to be understanding, there just isn’t any flexibility in our perspective. they don’t have enough moments of humility or shame or recklessness or weakness. and real equality comes when women who are messy and imperfect can easily access that kind of power and respect, not just women who try to remain flawless.

[centrally-unplanned]

Random Lackadaisy Pilot Thoughts:

-- I knew going in that I would have a fundamental disagreement with this pilot, from both knowing median audience preferences and seeing promotional documents; namely Rocky. Rocky is your zany lyrical comic relief character, who says things like this all the time:

And everyone in universe treats him like that police officer does; as an annoying lunatic. On the page this level of court jester can work; no one is reading it aloud to me, I can go at my own pace, others in-universe are responding the way I would respond in-universe, I can appreciate the dynamic. As spoken dialogue though, its a lot harder - he is talking *at* me, I am no longer a distant observer but instead just like one of the characters in the story, feeling what they are feeling; namely, cringe.

So how do you execute a character like Rocky on screen? A lot of ways (he isn't an issue at all if this is a comedy or a musical, for example) but overall I think you need to pair him off and reduce him - he should be playing off people most of the time, talk like 40% less, get interrupted more, his lines should often be set-ups for eye-roll punchlines by others. You balance him for the reality of film.

However! Rocky is also the 'protagonist' - not really, but he is the first character we meet - and a fan favourite. Western animation 'loves' zany weirdo characters, he is flash you can use to position your product in the market. So Rocky is not reduced in the pilot, he is expanded - full solo opening, musical number, lots of setpiece sequences around him. He is absolutely the primary character of the pilot. Which does not work for me, I think it was a poor choice - it sells the story itself short.

-- Related to that, I think the Rocky choice and some others frayed the story's film noir tone. Lackadaisy is famous amoung webcomics for its out-of-this-world levels of detailed shading and toning, which it uses to build a city of shadows and light:

Its the kind art that sells a troubled man torturing his bounty for information about his own dark past for pyschological reasons. There is just no way an indie long-form animated show can look like this, they aren't Studio Shaft. So your Mordecai is gonna look like this

Which is fine, but you are bleeding film noir points, you need to make them up elsewhere - which you cannot do if zany Rocky is your lead and 60% of the run time is combat shenanigans! This pilot is selling a very different vision of the story; its aesthetics have been altered by the demands of the medium, and the story isn't calibrated to that to preserve the comic's balance (which is equally serious & comedic).

There is also a plotting issue behind this to - the pilot does not start the same way as the comic, in the comic Rocky's opponents are some unimportant farmhands he is robbing, meanwhile Mordecai is introduced in full targeting some equally unimportant dudes. Which means people get to die, fight scenes can get brutal, it can pivot from comedic to serious by escalating the stakes. However, since this pilot is all main characters, they all have plot armor, no one can die, so the tone has to stay zany. The characters cant bleed, so the film noir points continue to do so for them.

-- Lol these short thoughts ballooned, sorry! I definitely still liked it, I love Lackadaisy after all. Something I did like was that, even though it could not preserve the sepia-shadow detail of the comic, when given the space it did a lot of great things with lighting, special effects and staging to give it visual flair. Rocky's bridge song has a lot of that:

And the final cigar-ash-burning-the-flower shot was a great all-into-our-vibe choice:

When the pilot chose to be fully art deco or film noir, it really hit it.

-- This pilot is a great example of industry shaping art. This is not a short, its a pilot; a pilot is a pitch letter to production studios asking them to pick up your show. That is a different ask from "be a good first episode for your story". It wants to introduce all the cast because everyone has their favourites and you want to maximize buzz with casting like their voice actors and stuff. It wants to be flashy with a lot of combat and movement because that is what a studio thinks the 'median' audience member wants from a cartoon. It probably toned down the blood because as a cartoon in America it needs to be pitched for an all-ages demo and doesn't want box itself into a corner ratings-wise. The ways it deviates from the comic are probably less artistic desire and instead a combination of the medium-is-the-message and the realities of how a show like this is financed if its going to reach a full cour. I can't fault it for any of that, and it really helps to know those things as you are watching it imo.

-- What is up with the rough pencil motion lines still in the final cut??

This isn't a budget or accident thing, these shots are fully colored and lit and all that, removing those lines would have been trivial. At least I think they should have been. It seems an intentional choice, but it kindof baffles me, why? Someone must have explained this somewhere, I am legitimately asking, if you know tell me.

-- Lots of great Cat Moments, Mordecai hissing at the water, amazing. We need at least one an episode if this gets picked up.

[luimagines]

Chain losing a bet and being forced to awkwardly flirt with reader but it kinda works in their favour bc they rolled a nat 20 and reader is a moronsexual

Masterlist

.....Is it bad that I knew exactly in my head how this was going to go? No? Ok, good, glad we're all on the same page. ^.^

Reader reactions under the cut! Immediate Link!

***

Link knew he was in trouble the second he saw the dice roll a four instead of literally anything lower. That was what he bet on and was now about to pay the price.

The boys around him whistled and ‘oohh’-ed at his misfortune.

One of them smirks, a devilish look that made Link brace even more for impact that was probably necessary. “So, that’s a loss for you.”

“No kidding.”

The smirk widens. “You see our little friend over there, fixing their tunic?”

Link looks back at you. You looks as lovely as ever. With the sun hitting your hair in a halo, the greenery around you almost bends towards you, to frame your body in a way that the goddesses themselves could envy.

Link feels his heart drop to his stomach with dread.

There are snickers around him and the dread hardens into lead, keeping him moving around again.

“Go flirt with them, Loverboy.”

“You’re joking.” Link swings back hissing.

That smirk on other boy’s face is ever present and it only adds salt to already sore bruise to his pride. “Nope.”

The rest of them are looking at him expectantly and Link sighs.

“You lost the bet.”

“I did.”

“What are you waiting for then?”

For the ground to swallow me whole, he thinks as he gets to his feet. Link doesn’t answer the young man and instead, he makes his way over to you, hoping he doesn’t actually ruin his chances with you.

Sky

You were nearly done with your work when you heard some footsteps coming your way. You look up.

Sky is red in the face and he’s not looking where he’s going. You raise an eyebrow and watch him for a moment. He looks lost in thought and concerned.

He stops in front of you and you can see him blink back into the present moment. You smile up at him, trying to be kind. “Tough luck?”

He sucks in a breath but slowly lets it go, moving to sit next to you. “Something like that, yeah.”

“Ouch. Maybe next time it’ll be better.” You shrug and scoot over to give him room. You turn back to the mending in your hand. “How bad was it?”

He groans.

“World ending, huh?”

Sky then turns his head to look at you. You don’t return it, focused on your work still but you do see it in the peripheral vision. It makes you smirk.

“Don’t make that face.”

You drop it for comedic effect. It’s hard. Part of you simply wants to start laughing but again- you’re aiming for kindness... mostly. 

“Oh...” You gulp down your giggles and attempt to keep a steady smile. “And what face should I have instead?”

He’s silent for a moment before he makes a hasty decision. Dramatically, he flops sideways, like a whale and lands with his head on your lap. You had to yank your tunic away from him or else you risked stabbing him with the needle or worse, your tunic risked being ruined.

“How about one where its mirrors my adoration for you?” He says evenly. “Where I can see that you just as enamored with me as I am with you?”

Holy cow, is he confessing?

Sky tends to realize this too late but he grins through it. Something tells you this wasn’t a part of his plan. Which means he’s honest.

“....Oh....” You say intelligently. “Um....”

You put your work away and scratch your cheek. “I think I can do that.”

“Wait really?” Sky sits up faster than you can yell- faster than you’ve ever seen him move.

His open expression is so open and honest that it starless a laugh out of you. Sky takes your hands in his, holding them close to his chest. “Because this was- I didn’t think-”

“That much was obvious.” You smile. Taking one your hands back, you cup his cheek and pat it gently. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

“I-I am?”

“Very.” You stand and Sky moves to give you space.

Leaning over, you kiss his cheek and take your work to complete it elsewhere from behind your back. Sky looks at you dumbly, still processing your actions and the event that just occurred.

You blow him a kiss as you walk away once more and he’s left standing shock still at the top of the hill. As you walk down you pass the rest of the boy who looked just as shocked, if not more so than, Sky. You wiggle your fingers at them and giggle when some of their jaws drop.

You were wondering if Sky was ever going to say something. He keeps a horrible poker face. You suppose you should thank the group but you still have to finish your work and that’s what you set off to do.

Twilight

You were busy minding your own business when someone plopped right next to you.

“What’s cookin’ good lookin’?”

You looks up with just your eyes, before you head snapped up- following suit. Of all people to say that, you weren’t expecting Twilight.

A snort leaves you before you can stop it and you drop it. “Oh my god, really?”

“What?” He tilts his head and smiles boyishly. It’s cute.

Giggles begin to escape you. “I’m sure there are other ways to voice that question.”

“Is it so bad that I wanted to know how the most gorgeous person on earth was doing?”

“I don’t know how you’re doing though.” You reply without missing a beat.

Twilight catches it.

“O-oh... um..” His hand comes up to scratch the back of his head. He blushes at your words, much to your delight and you can faintly hear him mutter to himself, “Well that’s not how it was supposed to go.”

You laugh a bit louder and give up working on your tunic. Maybe you can just ask Legend to fix it. He’s faster than you anyway.

Putting your tools and cloth away, you turn your full attention to Twilight. He can’t seem to hold eye contact anymore. You are delighted.

“Well?”

“Yes?”

“How are you, Link?” You insist. You begin to grin and Twilight looks away entirely.

“I’m FINe.” Twilight’s voice cracks. He clears his throat and throws it farther than it normally is. “I’m fine. Cool. I’m cool. I’m great. How are you?”

“I’m fine too, thanks for asking.” Your smile widens. “Is there something you needed?”

“No.. Not particularly.” Twilight coughs again. You can physically see him attempt to get his blush under control. It’s interesting the way his face moves as he tries to settle into something neutral. “I just-”

“You lost a bet, didn’t you?”

Twilight begins to flounder and he turns to you with a horrified expression. “I didn’t- no! Well, yes but that’s not what I-”

You snort and it cuts him off. “You’re all ridiculous.”

Twilight deflates. “Yeah, figures you’d say that. We’re all ridiculous.”

Your smile softens and you stand up. “But the attempt was very sweet of you otherwise.”

You kiss his cheek and move out. “Let me go talk to the boys and you’ll be free soon enough.”

Twilight freezes and follows you with his eyes. “....O-ok.”

You turn around and blow him a kiss for good measure. “You’re very charming Twi. Don’t forget that.”

His blush returns full force and he sinks the fur of his pelt by his neck. “...Right...”

Legend

You look up when you hear someone walking towards you. It’s Legend and you smile at the boy. He seems nervous and flustered- if the red face he’s sporting is anything to go by.

You knew the boys were playing a game nearby but weren’t too interested in learning what they were doing. But for Legend, of all of them, to come to you with that expression... Well... It must be important.

You put your mending down, giving him your full attention. Legend bite his lip when he sees you do that and halts.

“Hi Link.” You say softly, like you were talking to a startled animal. “Did you need something?”

The blush on his face deepens for reason you don’t understand and Legend can’t seem to look you in the eyes for much longer. “Can.. Can I sit next to you?”

Surprised by the question, you nods and immediately make room for him to sit beside you. You try to ignore that the others seem to watching with great interest. “Is something wrong? Are you ok?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I’m cool.” Legend cough into his hand and he sits down. His miscalculates the distance and lands harsher than he intended to, not to mention that his hand he thrusted out to stabilize himself also missed, and he’s sent nearly tumbling backwards off of the log you were sitting on.

You catch him and hold him steady by the shoulders, pulling him back up to a sitting position. “Are you sure?”

Legend’s face deepens in color and you’d assume it would be from embarrassment if he would have been able to stay sitting up properly to begin with.

The back of your hand come to rest against his forehead, and he’s about as warm as you can imagine. “Hmm.... If you’re sick, then we’ve got problems.”

“I’m not sick.” He blurts out.

“Well, you’re very hot so I’m worried-”

“You’re the hot one, not m- I m-mean.” Legend’s eyes widen in a clear panic, his word choice catching you off guard. “I mean. I’m- I’m not hot. I’m fine. I’m cool- don’t worry about it. It’s not a big deal.”

Your eyebrow furrows and you lean in closer to his face. To his credit, he holds your gaze, but you can audibly hear him gulp.  A small hum escapes you and try pressing your colder hands on his cheek and behind his ear, on his neck. He grabs your hand in a panic, halting any more of your movements.

“Hoo boy! Is it hot over here or is just you- ME! Or is it just me?!” A moment of silence passes after his outburst. Legend groans and hides himself by looking down as far as he can go. “Never mind. Kill me. Just kill me. I’m done. I can die now.”

His melodramatics startle a laugh out of you and you think you can finally put together what he’s been trying to do since the start. Taking mercy on him, you card your fingers through his bangs, minding the space around his hat and tilt his head upwards to look at you.

You find this whole fiasco endearing and if it weren’t for the other peering over and burning holes into your bodies you might have gone about it a different way.

When Legend finally puts enough strength to hold his own head upward, you kiss the tip of his nose. He blinks and looks at you with a slightly agape mouth. You wink at him. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

Just when he was beginning to calm down, your comment causes his face to erupt in color again and he hides his face behind his hands.

You laugh and go back to your spot where you can return to mending your clothes.

Wind

Wind is pouting as he makes his way over to you. You don’t know what exactly happened for him to have that expression but it must have been a bit silly. He was always so dramatic. 

You grin as wide as you can and toss your tunic aside. It can wait. It’s been waiting for a while now, it can wait a bit longer. “Wind!”

His face smooths over somewhat- but he doesn’t smile. Yet.

“Come on Sailor.” You scoot over and pat the spot next to you. “Come sit with me.”

He smiles at last, small and easy. He does as you ask and puts his hands behind him. He stretches his legs out in front of him and crosses them at the ankles.

“Got tired of all the older boys?” You ask teasingly. 

“I lost the game.” He mutters, not looking at you.

“Ah- I see.” You smile a tad bit wider but look away from him, mimicking his position and look up at the sky. It’s lovely today. Sunny but not too hot, and not a cloud in the sky. “So you’re pouting and decided to lick your wounds next to me.”

“I’m not pouting.” Wind snaps his head in your direction and sees that you’ve tilted your head back and grin on your lips. You’re laughing at him.

Not intentionally of course, but he’s very cute.

Wind pouts harder. “This is harder than I thought.”

“What is?”

“This is.” Wind gestures in front of him. “This. You. And me. And you’re too pretty for me to even think straight. This is stupid!”

You pause, your smile falling off of your face at a comically fast rate. “Pardon?”

“Yeah.” Wind continues. “And I lost a bet. And the guys want me to flirt with you! Even though they know I have a huge crush on you and it’s dumb and fluttery and I don’t know what to do with myself. Sooner or later I’m going to mess it up but somehow they think that this might help me or something? Or are they trying to make it worse?”

You’re speechless. Wind keeps going.

“What am I even supposed to say in a situation like this?” Wind groan. “I need a map or else I’ll get lost in your eyes? Your smile can outshine the sun? When I’m next to you I feel bubbly and happy? ...Well that one isn’t a really compliment. It’s more fact at this point but it doesn’t matter.”

“Wind-” You stand up to try and calm him but it doesn’t work. If anything he gets even more riled up and he gets louder. Around the two of you, you can see that the others have been watching and they’re very interested by this turn of events.

“And another thing!” Wind leaps up. “How am I even supposed to say it? Am I supposed to walk right up to and pretend to be Warrior and just make a weird face and say a dumb line like- ‘Well hello there, good looking, I don’t suppose you’re looking for company’? And then there’s Legend that one time we saw a red head in town and he was all “What a joy, to meet the prettiest girl here. If only I could get here name’ but that wouldn’t work!”

“Oh my god, Wind.” You bite your lip to keep from laughing out loud. The others can hear him as clear as the day and about half of them had jumped on top of Warrior and Legend to keep them from yelling at the boy. He didn’t do a good impression of them by any means- but they hated it and that’s what makes it amazing in your eyes.

“Am I suppose to flirt like Time when he talks to ladies at an inn just so we can get a lower price or is it just-?”

You lean in when you see your opening and kiss his cheek. “Yes.”

Wind stops his tirade in its entirety. His blooms red faster than you can even giggle at his reaction. His hands come up to cover his face and you can laugh more fully now that he’s stopped moving everywhere.

“...Oh....Good to know.”

“Feel better?”

“...Yes.”

“Good.” You beam.

Warrior

You hum to yourself a little tune, ignore the hollering of the boys around you. You knew they were playing some type of game but this was something you needed to get a while ago and if you keep putting it off it’s only going to get worse.

Warrior sits next to you suddenly at you give him a sideways glance, not wanting to give him the attention you know he’s looking for. 

How do you know? He’s not even sitting. He’s laying down, with his back and elbow against the log you’re sitting on, pivoting his body so that it’s angled toward you with a smirk on his face. You refuse to play his game.

You smile though, when you see that he’s noticed that you’ve noticed him. “Hello Warrior. Can I help you with anything?”

Warrior smirks from the corner of your eyes and clicks his tongue a bit. “Nothing much. But I couldn’t notice that I’ve never actually seen you wear that tunic before.”

“It’s for special occasions.” You say, not looking his way. “It’s been torn for a while and I don’t want want it to get worse while we’re out here.”

“I bet you’d look beautiful in it.” There it is.

“Thank you Warrior.”

“You know what else you’d look beautiful in?”

“Nope.”

“My arms.”

You pause your work. You slowly turn your head and look at him. Warrior is still laying down in that frankly ridiculous position, but he’s opened both his arms up in a silent invitation to join him. You can feel it build up inside you and you don’t bother to hide it.

A laugh tumbles out of your mouth before you could even think to make it into a nicer reaction and you laugh harder at the somewhat spurned expression on Warriors face because of it.

“Is that the best you can think of?” You holler in-between your laughter. 

“Ok, hey now-”

“Oh my god, that was cute.” You place the needle away from you for safety reasons and begin to move to sit closer to him. “Honey, I look beautiful no matter I wear, it’s the confidence.”

You wink and kiss his cheek. “But thank you.”

You lean back and revel in the way his face blooms in the bright red you’ve ever seen on him and it occurs to you that he was nervous to do this to begin with. Not to mention you’ve clearly blind sighted him with that kiss and your laughter so he doesn’t know what to do with himself anymore. There’s no more hiding behind that false bravado of his.

More giggled tumble out and you move back up to stand and collect your tunic. “Go tell the others to finish their game instead of watching us and then come with me. I want to show you something.”

You’ve never seen that boy move so fast. His actions freak out the other boys who were clearly not expecting it, and you can’t help but to keep laughing, putting your work away with the rest of your things.

You can work on it another day. You suppose you can afford to give the captain a bit of your attention after all.

Hyrule

You were minding your own business and it was quiet where you were. You could hear the boys being chaotic just over yonder and it brought a smile to your face. It wasn’t often where they just got to be young and dumb and carefree.

However, it didn’t surprise you when you spotted Hyrule coming up to you. He didn’t like to be near loud groups of people and the boys could get fairly riled up when they wanted to be.

You smile at him and set your things aside for the time being. “Too much?”

He flushed under your gaze and scratched the back of his neck. Slowly, he nodded and sat next to you anyway. “I hope I’m not intruding.”

“Never.” You wink at him, picking up your tunic once more. It seems as if he just wanted a break from the noises and the energy. You couldn't blame him. It also wasn’t the first time he’s done this so you weren’t going to say anything at this point. You were content to sit next to him anyway.

“You know...” Hyrule blurts and you turn your attention to him again, if only momentarily. “Ummm.... Never mind.”

“No. What? Is something wrong?”

“I uh... It’s just...” Hyrule can’t even look you in the eye. It must be serious then.

He clears his throat violently and flushes a scarlet red. “I was wondering if you’d let Wild take a picture of you.”

“....What?”

“Since I figured we’d need proof that angles exist and all that.” Hyrule still doesn’t look at you, his blush blooming to his chest and the tips of his ears.

His statement surprises you and you blink at him. Like an idiot.

“I’m sorry. That was bad. I should go.” He stumbles over himself trying to stand up again.

You reach out and grab the edge of his sleeve before he can run away from you. “Why would you leave?”

You blurt it before you truly process what’s even happening around you. Hyrule still can’t find it in himself to look you in the eyes and he looks so incredibly bashful.

It’s soft and sweet and you you feel like your intruding on something intimate- even he was the one to approach you to begin with. He huffs and pulls away from you. “I should have just shut up and accepted punishment. I didn’t have to do this to myself.”

He covers his face with his hands, but makes no move to actually leave you behind. You’re confused about his choice of words. However, you have bigger fish to fry.

“But you don’t have to leave.” You stand up also, carelessly tossing your mending to the side. “You know you can sit by me no matter what happens and no matter what you say or do.”

Hyrule whines in the back of his throat. “I’m dumb.”

“You are not.”

“I can’t believe I actually said that.”

“Well it was very sweet.” You lean in and give him a gentle peck on his cheek, the only exposed place where his fingers don’t cover him. You see him tense up completely and slowly look at through his fingers. 

You can’t help but giggle. “You’re precious.”

“That is not helping me.”

“But you are!”

Hyrule whines even louder, saying your name pleadingly. “This has all gone to hell.”

“I don’t think so.”

“You wouldn’t know. I’ve been there. I’ve seen it.”

“Would you tell me about it?” You lean in.

Hyrule takes a deep breath and finally drops his hands. He looks more exasperated now and part of you feels strangely victorious.

“Fine.”

“Yes! Now come with me!”

Time

The minute you saw Time walk up to you, you settled to put everything away. It wasn’t often that Time sought you out specifically so this had to have been important is he was coming directly at you.

Or so you thought.

He sat next to you with a bright blush on his face, the lower half covered by his hand. Time side eyes you.

You press your lips into a thin line and look side to side for moment. You’re trying to put pieces together but you have nothing. “Time?.... Is everything ok?”

He takes a deep breath. “My pride has been mortally wound.”

Oh. You snort. That’s not what you expecting. Not that at all. You relax a bit and cover the lower half of your face. “How tragic.”

“I’m glad you find my misery amusing.” Time pouts.

You laugh a little more freely. “What even happened?”

“Lost.” Time mutters.

You have to laugh loudly at that. “Oh, I see. How the mighty fall.”

“You have a beautiful laugh.” Time says bluntly.

“I- uh-.....” You’re cut off and you’re unsure how to respond. Time is looking at you fondly. An expresses you suppose isn’t uncommon but it feels much more intimate with the previous tidbit that he said. You can feel your cheeks heat up.

You bite your lip and scrunch your neck. It feels like your gaining distance from him but you know that’s a fallacy.

Time grins and it’s like he’s younger in that very instance. You are not prepared for how charming you find it to be. “I just thought you should know.”

You struggle to find the words for a moment before you just lean into your physical reactions and punch Time in the shoulder. “You little-”

You groan and huff and hide your face away. “That was very kind. Thank you. I am... going to hide my face now.”

“But why?” Time leans over to you, his smile getting wider. “You’re so pretty and lovely. Why should you hide away?” 

“Time.” You say warningly. “I don’t know what you’re trying to do or what possessed you to do this. But I’m asking you to cease.”

Time laughs this time. Not as loud and as freely as you’ve only heard once before but it’s stuns you again. It’s quiet and soft and oh so charming. What the hell is happening?

“They put you up to this, didn’t they?” You pout. “They told you to fluster me and this is my share. I didn’t even play your game.”

Time hums and shrugs. “Not particularly. But it does make me feel better.”

His blunt attitude dashes any complaint you may have had. The audacity of this man. 

“I can’t believe you.” You bite the inside of your cheek to try and keep a straight face. “Here I was... tying to have a peaceful day, and here you come, all pouty and cute and then- you hit me with this. Link-” You point a finger at him, on the cusp of losing the battle of wills within yourself to keep the smile off of your face. “You, sir, are a menace.”

Time giggles- giggles- and you can feel the smile slip onto your face. You fight to pull if off of your face but it’s harder now that it’s there. “I bet you’re real proud of yourself right now.”

Time composes himself to the best of his ability and grins at you. “Very.”

You huff and cross your arms. “Well, I’m glad you feel better.”

“I always feel better when I’m around you.”

“....Tiimmmeeee....” 

Four

You had no idea that Four had even made his way toward you. 

A voice clears their throat and you look up from your work. You first see a pair of knees, and then gold embroidery and then the colored patches of a very familiar tunic. You continue to look up and you com face to face with a very flustered Four.

Weird, you think, he’s usually more composed than this.

“Hey Smithy.” You smile. “What’s up?”

He smiles back tensely. “The sky.”

“Oooh, what happened?” You wince. “You hate those kind of jokes. Who hurt you?”

He lets out a single, high pitched and pained Ha. He sits down abruptly, crisscross applesauce. “There are people who love to see me make a fool of myself.”

“....Well that doesn’t really answer my question.” You raise an eyebrow and put your work aside. “Do I need to go over there and give the guys a piece of my mind? Just point fingers, I’ll do it.”

Four reaches out to grab you before you can pass him entirely. “That’s! No necessary. I promise. I’m fine. I’m just being dramatic.”

You pause and Four scrambles to grab onto you with his other hand. “Don’t make it worse, please.”

“Ok, ok, ok.” You sighs and step back, lessening the pressure on his arms. “If you’re so sure, then I will hold my tongue. But only because you asked so nicely.”

You wink.

Four seems to gulp at the action and now you’re only more intrigued. Four always has had something going on in his head and his thoughts always seemed to run a hundred miles minute.

“Have I ever mentioned that you have a very lovely smile?” He blurts.

“Wh-what?” You startle and take a step back from Four. “I mean- no, you haven’t. But what? Four, what?”

“Sorry, that was very abrupt, wasn’t it?” Four smiles nervously and scratches the back of his head.

“It was random.” You laugh, beginning to hold your side from your incessant giggles.

“Ok, I think I’ve made enough of a fool of myself today.” Four bites the inside of his cheek and begins to stand up.

“No, no, wait.” You reach out to him before he can get away from you.

“I see your point.” Four winces. “Forget I said anything.”

“No, why? That was sweet.” You calm down after a few more giggles leave you. “I don’t mean to laugh. It’s was simply so unexpected. You’re a doll.”

You smile sweetly at him and it’s enough to catch him off guard for the third time in the past fifteen minutes. Four can’t stop the blush from exploding onto his face on time for you to not notice.

“Cute.” You say and poke his cheek. He doesn’t swat you away.

“You’re a sweet heart. Thank you. That made my day.” You lean down and kiss his cheek before turning to clean up your work.

Four freezes and his blush deepens. He’s lost all control of any bravado he might have had and he grins like an idiot, holding his hand up to lightly touch the spot where your phantom touch still lingers.

Four spin on his heel, not bothering to fix his expression and walks right back to the group. “I think I’m in love with them.” He tell them. “They are incredible.”

Legend sighs. “That’s it. We’ve lost him. He’s gone.”

Warrior slaps him on the back of his head. “And I wonder who started it.”

Wild

When Wild started walking up to you, you weren’t really sure what to think. Since he hasn’t said anything yet, you elected to ignore him. Maybe he would simply walk past you? Maybe he only needed something from his bag? There’s a lot of reasons why he could be walking toward you.

All you had to do was keep a cool head and not stab yourself with your needle.

Doing so just so happened to be easier said than done, especially when you couldn’t help but notice that Wild had ever so slightly changed his direction so that he was walking directly towards you. There was no escaping him now.

You take a deep breath and attempt to find a good stopping point so that you can help Wild with whatever he may ask of you. You your tunic down and Wild trips.

Startled, your eyes fly open and you’re more or less forced to move out of the way unless you want to be taken out with his momentum. 

You don’t know how he does it, but right before his face can collide with the earth, he pivots his body and does a summer sault. He manages to bounce himself over the log you were sitting on and lands in a sitting position with his back to you.

You’re clutching your tunic close to your chest, staring and watching to see what he does next. You’re concerned that he’s injured himself but you make no moves to help him out. Injury or not, that maneuver was incredibly impressive.

Wild pauses for a second, seeming to gather his wits and going over the mental check list of his body, making sure that’s he’s not injured either.

It’s silent and neither of you want to move.... well that’s a lie. Wild is doing a lot of moving actually and you’re just staring at him as if he’s grown a second head.

Suddenly his arm juts out and grabs something nearby. Wild scrambles to his feet and stands, leaping to be in front of you. You jerk and clutch the fabric in your hands tighter, vaguely feeling the needle stabbing you in your arm.

“Wild?”

“Hi.” He grins and thrusts his hand toward you. He holds a single pale yellow flower. “This is for you.”

You blink and take it. The needles pressure has lessened on your skin when you adjust the cloth you’re holding, and you use your free hand to gently take the flower from Wild. The action is so endearing to you that you can feel a blush being to bloom on your face.

You bite your lip and tuck it into your hair.  Your voice goes a bit quiet, making sure the others don’t hear what you’re about to say next. “Thank you Link.”

He grins ear to ear and mockingly bows. “Anything for you, my dear. I’m at your beck and call.”

The ridiculousness of his statement startles a snort out of you. Embarrassed you try to hide it behind your hand but you can’t shake the smile from your face. “That won’t be necessary.”

“Any other way you may be of need, my sweet?” Wild looks up and winks at you.

You laugh and shake your head. “No, but I wouldn’t mind your company.”

Wild beams and trots to your side, throwing his elbow out for you to take. He tilts his head and whispers into your ear. “The others are watching.”

“I know. I can see them too.” You grin and place your arm in his. “Wanna go somewhere else?”

“Lead the way.” Wild gestures with his other arm to the space in front of you and together you walk away from the group and away from prying eyes.

[donnerpartyofone]

Everything I Watched While I Was Recovering From the Plague

I have a fantasy that watching a bunch of movies of wildly varying quality and content in close proximity can really bend your wires out of shape, like being exposed to too much radiation. I like to tell people that I had to get all those eye surgeries because of all the deranged stuff I subject my eyeballs to. My criteria for this marathon were "movies I want to watch but it's never 'the right time'" and "movies my sick husband in the next room is not interested in".

THE IRON CLAW: Pretty much the big, dumb, lummoxy movie that you might expect. The script is surprisingly weak--the girlfriend declares that everything is a matter of fate minutes before saying "I believe we make our own luck"??--but the family curse part is sort of compelling in spite of it all. I admit I was partially in it for the freak show of muscle mania; for various cultural reasons the way bodies were presented (and the kinds of bodies people aspired to have) in the '80s was so different than it is now, the exhibition of flesh had a very different kind of character that's hard to describe but this movie with its bulbous wrestler bodies filling the screen gave me flashbacks. Zac Efron should keep his He-Man haircut.

DARK HARVEST: I've been struggling to describe this certain type of movie that's very form over function, with a pretty specific form: there's like a really forced "stylized" nostalgia thing with a lot of humorless "weirdness" attached in movies like FINAL GIRL and KNIVES AND SKIN, and to some degree THE REFLECTING SKIN although that's a more sophisticated example (that I still don't enjoy). Anyway DARK HARVEST adds a Pumpkinhead guy (not pictured below) to the mix, and he looks pretty good at least.

THANKSGIVING: Well it's the best movie Eli Roth has made in a long time! It's OK. I like that the inciting incident is a Black Friday stampede, but it's too bad he didn't have the means to make it look more convincing; it feels like about a 150 people running around yelling and there's conspicuous amount of breathing room for the victims getting "crushed".

ZONE OF INTEREST: A tour of the ogre's castle, creepy and effective. Łukasz Żal's spy cam setup cleverly establishes a sense of being trapped in forbidden chambers.

GODLAND: Danish priest makes the perilous journey to Iceland, is a complete asshole to everyone he meets. Interesting, but more beautiful than interesting.

LINGERING: Goofy K horror in which a handful of different neurotic women are relentlessly mean to a small child. I often wonder about this trope of like, someone who is categorically unsuited to parenthood gets saddled with an orphan, and they REALLY don't want to adopt the orphan, but eventually they turn against their own personality and rational estimation of means because the orphan is so cute and/or sad. The implication seems to be that every one of us can and should be parents, and maybe this is even related to the (usually comedic) trope of the solitary curmudgeon who just wants to be left alone, until they undergo some kind of forced exposure therapy at the hands of their nosy neighbors who insist that no human being could actually enjoy their own company. This is an ongoing concern for me.

UNREST: Anarchist watch factory workers in love. Second movie in the list that uses early photography as a motif (also GODLAND). Pretty interesting formally, and I like all the stuff about the development and spread of standardized hourly time.

WITCHHAMMER: 1970 Czech allegory for Communist "show trials". Man, whether you're making an exploitation movie or a political statement, witch hunt movies are always tough stuff, huh?

HONEYCOMB: A woman unravels mentally when her childhood furniture arrives at her home, and she and her husband play out a series of weird infantile psychodramas as an escape from the pressures of their bourgeois existence. More interesting than enjoyable, and I'm not always sure how interesting it really is. There's a certain brand of European '60s filmmaking that involves a lot of improvised shrieking and laughing and crying and rolling around on the floor that makes me question whether it's really as hollow as I think it is, or if I'm just not a sophisticated enough viewer to understand the power of it, or if its original power was really dependent on its context in the development of cinema. Maybe the answer is a little of everything.

THE SWEET HOURS: A Spanish writer's latest play parses the Freudian mysteries of his childhood, and he fully immerses himself in the rehearsals to seek the truth by reliving his memories. It's actually not that deep but maintains a great air of importance anyway.

NIGHT GAMES: A young aristocrat brings his bride to his childhood manse where their surroundings trigger immersive memories of his debauched youth, in which--wait a minute, am I watching the same fucking movie for the third time? Not really but that was weird. Criterion notes that this is supposedly John Waters' favorite movie, which makes a lot of sense when you've heard him say that he used to force Divine to drop acid with him and go see Bergman movies, which Divine HATED. What's really funny to me is that if you basically do not want to drop acid and watch a Bergman movie then you'd think nothing could make you do it more than once! The idea of John Waters tricking Divine into doing this repeatedly is fucking hilarious.

SAM NOW: Disturbing documentary made by some young dudes trying to find out why their mother suddenly abandoned them when they were kids. It's a decent enough movie but I was extremely unsettled by the blithe naivete of the young brothers set against the increasingly obvious fact that there's something pretty bad going on with the mom. Get ready for a lot of discomfort and unresolved questions if you watch this.

LIZZIE: Why is it that nobody has made a good Lizzie Borden movie? It's one of those overly familiar tales that's just sitting there in plain view still waiting for a solid adaptation, kind of like The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, but that at least has the great Disney cartoon in among all the so-so film attempts. You really want this to be good with Kirsten Stewart and Chloe Sevigny AND Denis O'Hare who I love to death, but it's just not that compelling. Actually it doesn't even dig into the most interesting details of the story in my opinion, I guess we needed to save time for extra lesbian makeouts. Also I hate to say it but Chloe Sevigny is really miscast; I love her but her whole thing is being really easy-going and natural, and that doesn't really work for this character (or she's not getting the direction that worked on AHS). Oh well.

MAIDSTONE: See my notes at the end of HONEYCOMB. I found this almost totally unwatchable. I've never read any Norman Mailer. Is Norman Mailer still cool, or did he just seem cool to some people at the time? Was Norman Mailer sort of like an adolescent rebellion phase that American literature had to go through in order to get to wherever it is now? A cursory review of his legacy seems to indicate this. Or maybe it's just really hard for me to sympathize with someone who goes way out of his way to piss off women, and then his defense against the inevitable backlash is "SEE? Feminism is fascist bullshit because look how I'm being treated!" I still see men do this on the smaller scale of their personal relationships--you know the drill, drive some poor woman insane, and then when she acts insane, invalidate everything she says by calling her insane--and they don't even need the excuse of clumsy satire to keep doing it, so forgive me if I don't find this approach very radical. And that's all setting aside Mailer's fetishization of the American Negro for whom it is not my place to speak, but you can imagine what that consists of if you don't already know. In any case I did not enjoy this movie, but I was on the edge of my seat the entire time waiting for the infamous Rip Torn hammer attack. I developed this whole fantasy that Rip Torn must reach a point where he just can't take it anymore and he tries to kill Norman Mailer. I mean *I* sure wanted to kill Norman Mailer, somebody has to do it, right? There are several moments in the film where it seems like someone has finally snapped and the cathartic murder might take place. What actually happens is that Rip Torn wanders up to Norman Mailer with a claw hammer, totally wild-eyed, and declares that he has finally understood that this great work of art can only be resolved with the death of the character Mailer plays. He really seems to believe what he's saying, and the sequence is extremely disturbing. In a way it's even disappointing, there were perfectly good, sober reasons to kill Norman Mailer without putting an unstable person in a chaotic and violent situation where he might naturally flip the fuck out! If MAIDSTONE has anything to tell us about the myth of the cowboy auteur, it might be that somebody like Norman Mailer shouldn't have free reign to abuse large groups of people even in the name of social critique or whatever, because one of them might turn out to be fucking crazy.

WANDA: I love movies that are made in Pittsburgh, I find them all totally fascinating. Or even just Pittsburgh-adjacent, like contrary to everybody else my favorite part of THE DEER HUNTER is the very beginning with the wedding, it's totally captivating to me. Anyway this is an odd, grimy little drama written and directed by Barbara Loden in which she plays the most incompetent woman in the world. It's a good time for a bad time, and if you're watching closely you'll see a poster for THE BRAINIAC in one of the scenes!

KISS DADDY GOODBYE: Obscure psychic kids movies starring Marilyn Burns and Fabian. Marilyn Burns is the nice teacher and Fabian is the cop who try to solve the mystery of the psychic kids, so they inevitably have sex because we have time for that I guess, but man Fabian's like roadside bachelor pad is SO SCARY. It has to be somebody's real hoarder house and it looks like it should be condemned, I felt nervous for Marilyn Burns! Marilyn Burns do NO eat or drink anything that comes out of that kitchen! Have you had your tetanus shot Marilyn Burns? Please run screaming, this is not a normal bachelor pad mess and it is not a good place for you to be naked!

The End.

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 07/07/2023

Epic Flintstones

Season 1 Featured on: GilvaSunner's Highest Quality Video Game Rips: Volume 7: Part mm2wood Also on: Now That's What I Call Quality!, SiIvaGunner: Starter Kit & Essentials

Ripped by Can of Nothing, wolfman1405, MtH Ending Visuals by Dosh

Look...it's the 7th day of the 7th month, in the midst of SiIvaGunner's 7th Season - during a year with the digital root of 7. (2+0+2+3 = 7). Today is when the stars align for the funniest number on the entire SiIvaGunner channel, the funny number that laid the foundation for everything the channel would eventually become. I couldn't NOT talk about it.

I get the impression from a lot of newer fans, or ones who maybe just pop in every now and then, that SiIva's neverending obsession with The Flintstones theme comes off as a bit of a gimmick. There was a novelty to it in Season 1, when the bait-and-switch nature of the channel was at full force, and people genuinely got caught off-guard hearing The Flintstones instead of their favorite game music: In turn parallelling Joel's original reaction to "MARIO 7" instead giving him Flintstones music. But a lot of time has obviously passed since then, to where even during the latter half of Season 1 people were starting to realize that just hearing the Flintstones wasn't really all that funny anymore. Even just the name Epic Flintstones comes from an in-joke during that time, where people like Triple-Q would post it as a form of ironic celebration over hearing the same old joke as always show up again.

So if that was the case even back in Season 1's final months, that long-time viewers were even then not really finding the joke funny and even growing a bit tired of it...how has it stayed with the channel for so long? And why did a rip like Epic Flintstones itself land so perfectly as the end of Season 1?

In my eyes, its entirely due to the emotional connection that viewers formed with the meme, in a way that feels almost exclusive to SiIvaGunner. There's no doubt that jokes like Grand Dad became played out to some people, yet its a joke that stems from the very origins of the channel - it represents how everything began, the core, beating heart of the entire ripping team. The first official story arc on the channel, Season 1's SiIvaGunner: Rebooted, used this emotional tie to jokes as the crux of its entire conflict: It gave viewers a look into an alternate world where all the channel's beloved jokes were replaced with equivalents, turning The Flintstones theme into The Simpsons, Love Live music into IDOLM@STER music, and so on. In terms of comedic effect, all of these really worked just as well as the original jokes. Yet they weren't the original jokes: The emotional attachment the community held for Grand Dad bound viewers together during the story arc as we all prayed for its return.

Its this kind of emotional attachment to the strangest of things that really draws me to the channel, and codified me as a die-hard fan when SiIvaGunner: Rebooted came to an end. And its this kind of emotional attachment that gives Grand Dad weight as a musical theme, even seven seasons in. The Flintstones theme has become a sort of celebratory anthem more than a joke: It cameos up in just about everything, from big joke medleys like Rips Are Forever to full-on event anthems like The King for Another Day Tournament's Main Theme, as a kind of way to remind us in the audience of just how far the channel's come whilst still being the same.

Which, brings us back to todays rip: Epic Flintstones, the finale of Season 1. Through music and visuals, it follows Grand Dad's journey throughout the channel's first nine months, walking along its history not as a joke, but as genuine celebration. It's celebratory, bittersweet, and genuinely heartfelt. The visuals, sound, and the animation by the end - none of it is played for laughs, and none of it was met with ridicule. It was met with becoming the 5th most viewed video on the channel.

There's little I can say about Epic Flintstones that isn't conveyed perfectly by the rip itself, but what I will say is that it hit me in every way it was intended to. Though it didn't end up marking the end of SiIvaGunner as a whole, it was a beautiful end to the channel's original run, and a testament to the emotional power these silly memes have to us fans.

[pomegranatecookiez]

i feel like starting some shit so im just gonna come out and say it. the way devsisters treats m/m relationships (and honestly? any kind of straightn’t relationship) is really starting to bug me

its not at a point where i feel comfortable calling it “queerbaiting” but by god it is getting close. i was already iffy on the way they treated espresseleine (remember the valentines day post? i try not to) but the way wildberry and crunchy chip were written in odyssey and ESPECIALLY odyssey chapter three really sealed the deal for me in terms of, yeah, theyre pandering to fujoshis here. it hasnt been long since odyssey ended but i have a gut feeling that wildberry and crunchy arent gonna show up again for a long time, if ever. which when you consider how often they dipped their toes into “hohohoehoho oh man isnt this kinda gay? aint this kinda fruity” territory (the scene where wildberry carries him. they absolutely knew what they were doing) without ever doing anything that implies any kind of unambiguous romantic attraction between them started to feel really skeevy the longer it went on. like, haha, look at these two guys being stupid and gay together. too bad you’re probably never gonna see them again and we’re never gonna elaborate beyond that lol :) i could be proven wrong but i’d be genuinely surprised if i was.

and thats not even getting into how they have a tendency to use same sex crushes for comedic purposes. theres milk cookies crush on dark choco which, at this point, can NOT be interpreted as anything other than romantic. and while not a m/m example, pomegranate’s in a similar situation where they’ve done everything to imply she has some kind of psychosexual obsession with dark enchantress cookie that isn’t just making her say “man i sure do wanna fuck my boss” in the game itself. thankfully sea fairy and moonlight’s relationship hasn’t been used to tease fans or played for laughs, but that should be the standard, not the exception. 

it’s important to mention that cookie run generally hasn’t dabbled in any kind of explicit romantic relationships between its characters until recently, mint choco and cocoa cookie’s relationship is the first time they’ve shown it so openly and even then, they aren’t officially dating. but still, their relationship is played completely seriously, while gay ships, m/m ships especially, have to linger in some weird state of either being used for comedic effect, or used to tease fans who start foaming at the mouth uncontrollably when two men have any interaction that could be interpreted as even SLIGHTLY homoerotic.

i dunno man, just. let two men have a relationship on the same level as mint choco and cocoa’s without it being played for goofs. stop using pomegranate cookie’s unhealthy obsession with a woman who it’s heavily implied is manipulating her for “haha shes a SIMP” jokes. i know its a little dumb of me to expect good lgbt representation from a gacha game owned by a big company but they’ve done a good job with handling things like nonbinary characters and AGAIN we have sea fairy and moonlight proving they can do it at least somewhat decently and. im tired

[serialcultist-edwardmunson]

Bartender Steve/Steddie AU

Part 1 (part 2 HERE)

Eddie would know the man anywhere. They were trauma bonded, if you will, and that tends to cement a person's features into the crevices of your brain. The other mans hair was longer than the last time he had seen him, tied into a stupid little pony tail at the back of his neck, and he had a bit of scruff on his face, a small but full mustache sitting right under his nose. 

The bar wasn't packed, but it was busy enough that it took a solid few minutes before Steve turned and rested his eyes on Eddie. They went wide, eyebrows shooting up his forehead, “What the hell are you doing here, munson?” There was no malice to his voice, only recognition and surprise. Possibly even excitement.

“We've been to hell, Harrington, looks nothing like this.” He backtracks, “er, looks only partially like this?” Steve purses his lips and nods as if to say ‘you’re not wrong’, “Maybe a little bit dustier. Just a little bit though.” Eddie pinches his fingers together and smirks. Steve visibly gives Eddie a once over, a fondness softening his eyes, 

“You look good, man.” Eddie gives a toothy grin, 

“You do too.” He squints and leans across the bar, reaching a pointed finger towards Steve's confused face, ”You got a name for that creature asleep on your upper lip?” confusion turns to deadpan and Steve bats the metalheads arm away, flipping him the bird, 

“I'll have you know, everyone digs the stache, ok?”

If Eddie was being real honest with himself, he could see the appeal. It gave Steve a bit of a devil-may-care pirate look, and now that he was turned to him, he could see a small gold hoop through Steve's right earlobe. That was definitely new.

“Fine, fine, but don't come crying to me when you get animal control called on you.” Eddie chuckles. Steve rolls his eyes,

“So what can I get for you, Munson?” Eddie thinks a moment before shrugging,

“Surprise me?” Receiving another, stronger, eye roll before Steve turns around to start mixing his drink. In all honesty, Eddie's brain had blanked and he couldn't remember a damn drink he liked, let alone had, in his entire life. He watches as Steve pulls a bottle of rum and some fruity looking mix-ins, throwing them into a shaker and throwing a wink Eddies way. Eddie feels heat creep up his neck,hoping the club is dark enough to hide his bright red cheeks. 

Finally the man brings him a glass topped with a piece of pineapple and a cherry, 

“I call this a pineapple upside down cake. It's kind of a specialty of mine.” he said, sliding it towards the metalhead, 

“Of course you’d give me something fruity. Homophobia at its finest.” Steve stills, as if concerned he actually offended the other man, then barks a laugh, 

“You are quite literally in a gay bar.” He reasons right as Eddie takes a sip. Eddie almost spits out his drink for comedic effect, 

“Holy shit you're right, what the hell are you doing here?” And, although he says it as a joke, he still wants an answer. He wants an answer, because Steve doesn’t look out of place here. In fact, he looks more relaxed than Eddie has ever seen him.  Steve only scoffs instead and points at the drink, 

“How does it taste?” Eddie takes a full sip, eyes going wide as it hits his tongue, 

“Holy shit, Steve.” he takes another long sip before setting it down, reminding himself that it is NOT just pineapple juice and it most definitely was a heavy handed pour. Steve smirks, 

“I'm assuming that's a good reaction?” Eddie nods vigorously, reaching for his wallet,

“Best drink I’ve had in ages.” he flips his wallet open, but steve simply puts his out and pushes the wallet back towards his chest, 

“Come on man, don't insult me like that.” Eddie tilts his head like a confused puppy, which earns him a fond smile from Steve, and BOY does that make Eddie's stomach do a weird fluttery thing. He pushes his lower lip out in a pout, but slowly puts the wallet away, 

“Uh, thanks, man. I'll get you back another time.” Steve just smirks and nods before turning away to help someone else at the bar. 

Eddie sips and watches the man flit back and forth behind the counter, chatting and laughing with the patrons. Most of them are men who actively ogle and flirt with Steve, and Steve simply… flirts right back. Verbally, physically, like it's the most natural thing for him to do. Eddie knew he was some sort of casanova back in Hawkins, but the way he had these gay men eating out of the palm of his hand? It was honest-to-god impressive. 

He watches Steve as he greets what must be regulars, one being a larger hairy man in a leather harness, and he leans forward and kisses the man on the cheek, a hand on his bicep. And maybe the fancy drink Steve gave him was kicking in, but he could have sworn he saw Steve's thumb lightly rubbing the man's arm. 

Who the fuck was this Steve Harrington look alike? He looks like Steve, he sounds like Steve, but the Steve he had known was completely and utterly… hetero. Eddie couldn’t forget the old Hawkins High hallway gossip if he wanted to. Some of those girls could go into graphic detail and they never seemed to get the hang of whispering. He used to talk shit with his bandmates, say horrible things about how ‘Harrington must be overcompensating for something’ and that he must have either a small dick or a comfy-cozy closet. Eddie felt a little bit of guilt wash over him at the memory.

 He’s so lost in thought that he almost doesn’t notice when Steve turns, catching his gaze with another one of those damn fond smiles. He's gesturing towards him, thumb hiked over his shoulder, and leaning close to the hairy bear of a man as he says something. His hands moving about for emphasis. Eddie blanches, not just from being caught staring but also having been called out in some form or another. Right before Steve turns away he smirks and offers Eddie another wink, then moves back into mixing drinks like he hadn’t just shifted Eddie's whole worldview. That was two winks in one night. Eddie's heart drops into his stomach and he finally turns, pushing himself away from the bar.

(Part 2 HERE)

[hopetorun]

Weird writer ask game - 🐺💣👑🔔🏛️

🐺 Build a NHL starting line up (3F, 2D, 1G) based on a really weird criteria for comedic effect (e.g. guys with names that sound like Dylan).

please be glad i didn't choose a starting lineup of guys with names that could or do lead to sex-related nicknames. anyway here's guys with two first names.

nick paul - robert thomas - jack quinn

matt roy - dennis gilbert

devon levi

💣 Blow it up: pick one NHL team. Change its name, mascot, logo/colors. Tell me why you chose the new elements.

okay chicago is the obvious choice here but i don't feel like being obvious. the chicago nhl team should rebrand in real life. actually they should probably be folded in real life. but that's not a fun meme answer. my second thought was the flames, because they didn't rebrand when they relocated and now have a team name that has nothing to do with their location, but it's been decades and has led to local and affiliated spinoff names (the heat, the inferno, rip to them both).

all this to say: im rebranding the jets. i don't like the military so they get a new theme. i think they could really lean into the north thing, since they do it in a lot of their marketing anyway. i know fuckall about winnipeg but idc. i think a cool tundra animal would be the move here. it's a bummer the moose are already their ahl team or obviously i'd pick that but maybe the grizzlies. yes that's already an nba team but it's fine, the jets are also an nfl team so it's a wash. mascot is a grizzly bear obviously. named northy or something to lean into the far north of it all. they can call the arena the den.

colorswise ... ooh the jets colors suck. imho. they're way too muted! brighten up that maroon, maybe go all the way into purple. a kind of reddish purple maybe, and then brighten up the blue. yellow as an accent? i am NOT a color theory gal, we're hoping this is something. please do not tell me if it isn't

👑 If you could add an award to the NHL awards, what would it be and who would be its inaugural recipient?

there are lots of good and serious awards that should be added but EYE think that we should add another really arbitrary poorly defined one like the lady byng. what does it mean to be gentlemanly? we won't be defining that.

so in that vein: i think there should be a reverse lady byng. a grittiness award. a sandpaper award. i think the arguments about it would be really funny. brady tkachuk is a strong contender, sure, but maybe he takes too many penalties. sandpaper, yes, but is he leaving his team shorthanded too much? can you be gritty without getting penalized? who's a good example of that? i am simply here for the endless trivial discourse. anyway i think brady is the inaugural recipient despite the objections. i am taking name suggestions for this award.

🔔 Who is an NHL player you are convinced you can best in a physical altercation?

i think i could take johnny gaudreau. i'm taller than him and i weigh more than him and he gives me more would not hit a girl vibes than some of the other little guys. and i do think i would need the edge of him being reluctant to hit a girl because they are all extremely fit.

🏛️ Here, have a soap box. What is one thing you feel really strongly about that you think everyone should know?

ooh i've got awards on the mind so! i think people should be more thoughtful about the distinctions between most valuable player and most outstanding player! if you don't have both awards then sure i can understand the conflation but the nhl does have separate awards for those things and i think letting them be meaningfully different would be a lot of fun. give the ted lindsay to cmcd every year except for like once every four years when auston matthews or nikita kucherov gets it, but an actual debate every year about which player was the biggest individual difference maker on their team would be compelling. setting my own biases about last season's awards aside, i think that opens the door for more acknowledgement of season-changing goaltending performances (shesterkin in 21-22 perhaps). the hart and the lindsay don't need to be so closely tied! let them be different things!

oh also while we're on the topic it is beyond stupid that it's basically impossible to win the hart unless your team makes the playoffs. "oh the team didn't make the playoffs how valuable can that player really be" idk chucklehead, there are math people who can approximate a player's value in standings points, probably. do i trust their math? not entirely. but i trust it enough to know that argument is bunkum.

[cadyrocks]

So I know that CAD is often and widely considered a punchline in the circles I run in. And not without reason - the early stuff is all pretty terrible for a variety of reasons, Loss is a tone shift so stark and out there that it can't help but be funny*. The jokes didn't work, attempts at being serious didn't work, and it rarely rose past the level of "mediocre Penny Arcade knockoff" (and, let's be honest, I don't exactly think very highly of Penny Arcade).

But for some reason, I never stopped following that RSS feed. And... uh... I regret to inform you that at some point in the intervening years, CAD got pretty damn good.

Some context: the most recent run of CAD focuses on our longstanding protagonists, Ethan and Lucas, in new personas as superheroes. Lucas can make DDR arrows appear, and Ethan can respawn after death. They're not exactly A-Grade, but for someone who's as much of a complete moron as Ethan is, being able to die without consequences is a pretty useful power to have. A power which "The Troll" (a minor villain who he previously dropped off a building, with some ambiguity as to how hard he tried to save him), appears to have taken away at the conclusion of a genuinely pretty solid arc about overcoming his ego. Or maybe not! It's unclear. But, y'know, you can't exactly test whether or not your power of respawning after death works, and if you've spent your whole life living without any kind of mortal peril... It'll fuck with you.

This arc, which, on the whole, works really well. The tonal shifts between comedic violence and earnest superhero drama feel natural and earned; Ethan is relatable enough that we can understand his pathos and feel what he's like even as he tries to raise money for a new graphics card by draining all the blood from his body, getting annoyed when the blood "despawns" on his death. Lucas similarly makes a sympathetic and effective supporting character.

The art isn't exactly gonna take the comics world by storm, but it's professional and has a consistent style without simply copy-pasting everything, a huge step up from the early stuff we all make fun of. If you told me this was a DC comic... well, it'd be a pretty big stylistic shift from the usual DC fare, but it'd probably wouldn't be the worst-drawn comic on the shelves. To be fair, he's been doing this for 20+ years, so you can expect some growth, but some people wouldn't necessarily expect much growth from Tim Buckley, so that's a pleasant surprise.

In addition to this, there's a few other projects under the larger CAD banner, and most of them work pretty well. The Starcaster Chronicles is a bit bogged down with melodrama but is generally an enjoyable sci-fi romp with some neat ideas and character turns (I really love the reason why Cort, our main character, turned into an outlaw). Console Wars, while a very dated concept, is still pretty funny when it shows up.

All in all, CAD has matured and grown with its author, and can comfortably take up the mantle of "a pretty solid webcomic", and that's probably worth mentioning every once in a while if we're going to keep making more and more obscure Loss memes.

*Although, worth noting, it was apparently based on real life experiences of the author he was processing, so while it's still really bad, it does feel a little mean to treat it like a huge memey joke. That ship has very much sailed, but, uh, I get why he banned HBomberguy from his forum. That was, I think we can say in hindsight, kind of a dick move on Harry's part.

[madrino1]

I'm thinking about Riki from Xenoblade Chronicles and I love that dude so much. He's a very literal dad friend and its just great. I know it's easy to just dismiss him as comedy relief compared to the rest of the main team but he's got his own layers.

Spoilers, if I have to say that for a 2010 game.

The big scene for Riki is the scene on Mechonis Arm with Dunban and Melia and it basically creates Riki's depths single-handedly. It plays out like a pretty typical Riki scene, with him being lazy when wanting to rest then greedy when he goes fishing, but when Dunban questions his actions and suggests Riki had noticed Melia's tiredness it puts every other Riki scene into question. The two then discussing Shulk, Fiora and Dunban's relationships then shows Riki's understanding of his companions again as Riki catches that Dunban is somewhat of a father to Fiora, in spite of having seen little interaction between, especially since Riki begins that conversation when noticing that Dunban seems down. Finally, when the group get going again Riki says he notices the pipe while scouting, suggesting he may have foregone sleeping like the other two to some degree in order to scout.

This scene is important for Riki for two reasons - it establishes the idea of a facade and clearly shows Riki's understanding and observant nature towards others, directly linking this to his History as a father.

Firstly the facade. This, to me, recontextualises almost every other scene we see Riki in. While I'm not going to say that the lovable idiot we see Riki as is entirely facetious, I think its something he consciously enhances to do good by others. This can be in both the way we see in the scene, where he feigns a struggle to help someone he believes is hiding a similar struggle, or as comedic relief, much like he is for the game as a whole. In particular I think that he plays up 'funny little Nopon Riki' to cheer up the group a bit - while there can be levity through things like Reyn's antics, the group can be quite a somber bunch who've all very recently suffered terribly - its not unreasonable to say Riki would look at them and think they needed to laugh a bit. You can ever see a bit of this in his conversation with Dunban in the given scene - in particular, when he says "Riki make mistake. Dunban not daddypon" or something to that effect about Dunban and Fiora I always get the feeling he's playing it up a little to make Dunban more comfortable and willing to share his worries.

Secondly, his perceptiveness. This is what I think motivates his playing into the funny little Nopon idea, as he notices all his companions issues and wants to cheer them up. While this is most prominent in the scene I focused on, there are other examples of it, such as noticing Shulk's issue with lacking parental figures and desire for a family in their Heart-to-Hearts, to the degree that he actually offers to adopt Shulk into his family if Shulk wants that. I like to think that, even if Shulk does deny that offer, it made him more comfortable being present in Riki's family's life, and I think Riki's kids' similarities to Reyn and Sharla (though admittedly likely more for Gameplay purposes) indicates the characters had a presence in Riki's family's lives.

In the end, I think the literal purpose of Riki is that he is a dad for the rest of the Xenoblade 1 crew. He's a mature older figure who makes terrible jokes that put a smile on your face and always seeks to benefit the rest of the group. Unlike the rest of the team he doesn't really have any kind of character arc, but I don't think that's a flaw. To me he feels like he's already had his arc, his life changing adventure, it was just (and I know I'm gonna sound cliché here) parenting. In his final heart-to-heart with Shulk he talks about having said goodbye to many littlepons when the time (p.s I always thought it was a shame we never got to see any of Riki's kids out in the rest of the Bionis, I think that would have been quite a neat little detail) and I think that raising and saying goodbye to those kids is what changed him into the Nopon we know (he even mentions having raised many littlepons in the conversation with Dunban I have referenced so many times). It made the kind of Nopon who could support and aide the young people questing to save the world so they can become the best versions of themselves.

So that's why I love Riki really. Even if he doesn't have the complex arcs and thematic depth of a character like Shulk or Dunban, he's still a critical part of the main Xenoblade group in my eyes and an interesting character in his own right. What a funky little dude.