#i can maybe take out my hard drive and take all my existing data off it at least..

[kuromi-hoemie]

my fuckin work laptop stopped working ｡⁠:ﾟ⁠(⁠;⁠´⁠∩⁠`⁠;⁠)ﾟ⁠:⁠｡(⁠ノ⁠｀⁠⌒⁠´⁠)⁠ノ⁠┫⁠：⁠・⁠┻⁠┻

[asheurbanipal]

'Cause I don't want to leave the comfort of this place

on Ao3

sequel to "Alone in the dark but now you've come along"

Summary:

As their relationship moves forward, Logan and Wade start to see what being together actually looks like. Wade has a brain that doesn't work correctly. Logan is still dealing with the trauma of his previous existence. And in the middle is something new that neither quite know what to do with.

Deadpool/Wolverine

Explicit

Words: 8629

One-shot in series

Content: angst, talk of memory loss, baby in danger!, hand stuff, hand stuff while driving, dad vibes, sex jokes

"Wade, how can I put this delicately…" 

"Why the hell are you here for breakfast, again?" 

Logan choked on his bite of eggs. Hank's attempts at the aforementioned delicacy were completely obliterated by Scott's irritation. He tried to swallow faster to answer.

"Man needs a hearty meal after getting ruthlessly fucked all night," Wade answered. From beside him, Wade reached his foot over and wove it around Logan's ankle. 

"Please don't be so crass in the manor," Hank admonished, returning to his toast. Scott rolled his eyes behind his glasses. They had sense enough to not take Wade at literal face value and snap at the bait, but he wasn't exactly lying. Logan wasn't quite sure where their perception of his and Wade's relationship had landed. No one talked about that kind of shit like adults in this goddamn place. He hadn't realized how annoying that was until he had some distance from it.

"We were running drills in the Danger Room." Logan tapped his fork to his plate nonchalantly. "We run it hard, and it's two hours back to his place. I didn't think it was a big deal for him to crash in my room, instead." 

Another technical truth. Between the Void and that stupid robot thing upstate, he could feel the way his body had slowed down from disuse. If he was going to keep up in this timeline, he needed to get back in fighting shape. He had finally just taken up the offer of private simulation time. Throwing Deadpool into the mix just made it more interesting and upped the difficulty. 

What the simulation computer data logs wouldn't show, though, is that after a couple hours of nighttime training, they were both so amped up the only way to reign it in was to go back to Logan's room and put their dicks in each other in various fashions. They almost didn't make it back to Logan's room one time before he remembered the simulation chamber had very good cameras. 

"If it's a matter of food stock…" Logan offered vaguely.

"No, it's fine." Scott waved him off, but he was still agitated.

"What's up, Cy-boy? Did-wait-" Wade leaned over. He didn't have to come far, his chair already practically touching Logan's.

"What's the Jean situation, right now?" he whispered way too fucking loud.

 "It's complicated," Logan responded with a small nod.

 "Then I'll check the Wiki before I come back to that one. Don't want to insult a grieving maybe-widower."

"I admire your restraint," Scott chuffed then pushed back from the table, standing. "Don't let him out of your sight while he's in the manor." He sauntered through the arch toward the parlor. 

"I hadn't planned on it." Logan lifted his eyebrows at the space where Scott had just been. 

"If you're really in that much need, I'm happy to train with you, Logan." Storm had been quiet, holding her coffee mug with two hands as she sipped it. She kept looking at him softly. From his Storm it would have been affection. From this one it felt like pity.

Logan shook his head, dipping it back to his plate as casually as he could.

"No, I've been overdoing it. Wade already got on me last night about it."

"Multiple times," Wade added. His foot was still hooked around Logan's, and he pulled it a little closer under the table. He was in slippers, so it wasn't exactly a graceful action.

"If you want me to be able to do more cohesive teamwork, I am going to need to start being pulled for team training. Otherwise I'm not gonna be any good to you." Logan tapped very sharply on the plate. 

"Let me talk to everyone about it," Storm said softly, nodding. They'd been doing that. Saying they'd all "talk" about it, meanwhile no one would talk to him directly.

"Can I borrow one of the cars again? To take Wade back. He's got a job to prep for." Logan lifted Wade's foot where it rested on top of his, ignoring the way the rest of the table briefly flicked away from mention of Wade's return to his old vocation. Not like he could work at CarMax, anymore, and if he was going to wear the suit again, might as well slip back into the merc life. 

"Let me see what's available," Hank nodded. Which was code for "what we're willing to part with on the chance that something goes horrifically wrong." They'd all heard about the mini-van incident. Somehow…

He glanced at Wade. 

"Thanks," he said.

"When are you gonna be back?" Laura appeared in the same arch of doorway that Scott had left through, eating an apple off one of her claws. The kid had settled in quickly, blending with the younger cohort. Some of them knew her story, some of them didn't. Either way, she had gone through the standard new student fare. Get through the initial hazing, then she was part of the crowd. 

She was certainly more at home than he was. 

His first week back in the mansion, he had hovered at a distance, unexpected fatherly affection pulling him into a wide orbit around her. He also didn't know this younger generation of mutants. They were their own people to him, not sickly mirrors of the people he once knew. That made them easier to be around.

But he was an old man, and Laura needed the space. Deserved the space. Deserved to be just a kid. 

She continued to wait for his answer as he considered his day. He half-glanced at Wade, but he was focusing intensely on his bagel with strawberry cream cheese. 

"If not by dinner, then right after. Take Wade back. Run a couple errands. Then back here." The errands were making sure Wade had food in the fridge, Althea hadn't OD'd, and filling up the coin jar with quarters for the laundromat. Maybe vacuum and mop. Take Puppins for a walk and check her treat stash. They must have functioned before he showed up, but he wasn't sure how.

If there was time, there'd also be some making out on the couch at minimum. How much farther that got would depend on Wade's timeframe. 

"You askin' for a specific reason?" Logan raised an eyebrow at her. 

"Because I also need to do some training, and you're the only one I can go all out on, right now. But you've been...busy." The next bit of apple crunched loudly. The first emotion the broiled up was anger. He didn't know where it came from and it wasn't useful, so he breathed through it. That's what the on-staff therapist recommended. 

"I apologize for not being available. But in the future, please tell me if there's something you need from me. Open communication and…stuff." Logan replayed the words in his head to make sure he had crafted them okay. Good enough. He was getting a little better at it.

"Now that is some beautiful therapy speak. You should weaponize that, kitten whiskers." Wade poked him in the cheek. 

"If you actually went to your appointments…"

"Uh-unh, that's not an 'I feel' statement." 

"I feel like I'm gonna kick your ass in a minute." Logan kicked Wade's foot under the table with a grin. 

 "I feel you use violence to mask your overwhelming urge to suck my cock."

"WADE, THIS IS A PLACE OF LEARNING!" Hank interjected. 

"I feel like you're both stupid as fuck," Laura finished. "But I guess that just means you're made for each other." She took another bite of apple. "I'll see you tonight, Logan."

"Bye, kid." But she was already turning the corner of the wall. 

#####

Everything was light and bright and fluffy and yellow colored. He couldn't remember the last time he felt good . Genuinely. Whatever memory that might have been was now just a fuzzy gray space. He hated when that happened. 

Cold as fuck down here, Christ. Which is me, I guess. I wonder if that's blasphemy. 

"You were quieter than usual at breakfast." Logan tapped his fingers to Wade's palm as they moved through one of the basement hallways toward the motor pool. "Fucking weird, honestly." Wade dipped his hand into Logan's and curled their fingers together.

"I was just thinking about stuff."

"Thinking? Dangerous." 

"Surprise myself with that sometimes, too." Wade swung their arms in the space between them dramatically. "Just…I don't know…thinking about the job tonight, I guess? Then some other stuff."

"Something you need to talk about? Work through your feelings?"

"Ew no. Gross. It's more like…hm…" 

Fuck. 

Keep being told to think before I speak, and the first time I do it, it doesn't work. I spent all of breakfast putting the words together, and now they're all garbled. Shoulda written it down. Wish I could write. 

"You ever feel lost?" Wade asked. Logan stopped cold in the hallway. 

"Babe," Logan  murmured. Then he did this thing that Wade knew was going in the spank bank immediately. He slammed Wade back against the wall, metal cold on his spine. Logan pressed up tight against him, hip to hip, giving him an immediate hard-on. Logan's hands slipped around his waist. 

"My life is just one long sequence of feeling lost with short periods of knowing what I'm doing. So…kind of an expert." Logan pressed his lips to Wade, and Wade dragged him in in response, deepening the kiss. 

I love this.

I hate this.

I hate that I love this.

Fuck these fucking stupid fuck-ass emotions.  

Falling in love with Vanessa had been from before The Cancer. Before The Healing Factor. Wade knew how to do all that shit, knew how to put his boyish charm and adult-ish mouth to work. From what he had learned since coming back from the Void, other versions of Deadpool had mixed but overall successful amorous experiences, too. This particular Deadpool was drowning.  

Logan pulled away but not before pressing a few small kisses along Wade's jaw and cheek. 

"Anything I can do to help?" Logan squeezed him around the waist a little tighter, dropping his hands a little lower to rest on the top of his hips. 

"Make me an X-Man so I have a salaried position?" Wade offered.

"You're not a full-on mutant. Also…I don't have control over that even if you were." The words went up at the end like a question. It was so fucking cute. 

"Alright then maybe just this, for now." Wade leaned down, pressed his face into Logan's chest, then motorboated the shit out of his pecs for about forty-five seconds. He stayed there, pressing his nose into Logan's shirt and breathing him in. 

Oh yeah, that's a thousand times better, already. 

"You're lucky you're cute." Logan kissed Wade on the top of the head and brought his arms around Wade's back, squeezing him tighter. 

"Logan." The voice came from down the hallway. Logan snapped back, his whole body releasing Wade at once and very literally jumping halfway across the width of the hall. 

Well that doesn't feel great, but I sort of get it. 

At least the fucker looked contrite, doing that fist squeeze thing with this hands that he did when he was every so slightly nervous. Scott sauntered down the hallway, stopping short to toss a set of keys that Logan caught mid-air. 

"Civic's gassed up." He glanced at Wade. "Take as much time as you need."

#####

Logan squeezed the steering wheel hard enough the shape of his claws became visible under his skin. The radio was doing a best of the nineties hour, and he'd already sat through a who's who of pop diva and boy bands of the era. Multiple times he'd considered changing it, but Wade was a little too invested in singing along. He didn't want to take that from him.

It was also, dare he say it, kind of fun?    

When the opening riff of a smooth rock song started, Wade scrambled to change it, his chatter breaking off into something about "blow jobs" and "Kid Rock." They ended up on a talk radio station that was a little less nerve-wracking. He leaned back into the seat as Wade provided a parallel commentary with the show host.

He lifted his hand from the wheel and placed it palm up across the center console. Wade took the opening and dropped his hand into Logan's.

"I'm sorry about the thing in the hallway outside the motor pool," Logan said, chewing the words in embarrassment. 

"Whatchu talkin' 'bout?" 

Logan considered for a moment whether Wade was deflecting or he genuinely didn't catch it. They were both equally likely. 

"When Scott showed up?" He hinted. 

"OH! Oh that. No biggie, sugar bean." He squeezed Logan's hand tight enough to break a hand made of regular bone. "No grab-ass in the mansion. I get it." 

"Well, yeah that." Logan ran his thumb over the back of Wade's hand. "I don't know what their Logan was like, but I used to…uh…get around a little bit."

"You slut!" Wade gasped. Logan certainly wasn't going to deny it.

"Charles used to get on my ass about it-"

"In the sexy way, I hope."

"-'we have to be models of decency for the students' he'd remind me. He never threatened to kick me out, or anything." 

"He was probably waiting for his turn." 

"I'm on thin ice, here, though. They only invited me back on the team as a courtesy, and they don't know how to feel about you, yet."

"Oh, no, they hate me," Wade said.

"I was trying to be nicer about it." Logan glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. Wade was staring out the window, watching the landscape. "I haven't really done the physical affection thing in awhile, either. So I'm gun-shy, but I want to work on it. Just go a little slow with me."

"I'm not exactly the touchy feely type, either, peanut, so don't stress over it."

"You slap my ass basically every chance you get." 

"That's a totally different thing. I don't know how anyone in that house keeps their hands off those rosy peaches." He smirked and winked. There was something glinting dark underneath, though. Maybe that meant Wade would spend his time thinking instead of filling up the car with noise. 

Wade pulled Logan's hand further over the console. He heard a zip, then his hand was curled around the warmth of Wade's half-hard cock. 

"Are we really doing this?" Logan didn't dare drop his eyes from the road for too long, but he took half a chance to verify that what he thought was happening was actually happening. 

"When I tried to give you head the last time, you stabbed me in the ribs."

"Because I didn't want to drive us into a fucking tree, and that was the only way to get you to stop."

"Yeah, so that's why I'm doing this instead. Just let me do all the work." 

"You're deflecting from something. You need to start using your words to communicate, not your dick."

"Ngh, I'll work on it." Wade was already grunting, tiny little moans as he pressed Logan's hand around his dick and stroked himself. It was a shoddy and fast thing, Wade getting hard quickly and tensing toward completion just as fast. Wade orgasmed with barely a trickle of cum, shoulders rolling against the passenger seat as he arched his back. His voice was tight in his throat, squeaking. Soft words tumbled out between the other sounds, though, and Logan honed in tighter with his hearing. 

It was his name. 

Wade was whispering "Logan" over and over and over again just under his breath. 

That was new. 

Wade panted as he came down from his finish, licked his own semen from Logan's hand because he was simply a freak like that, then zipped up. 

"Ooh, there's an IHOP up here. We should get pancakes for lunch." Wade made that weird little self-satisfied smile of his, and dropped his hands between his legs.

"Whatever you want, babe," Logan sighed, keeping his hand off the wheel as he turned into the parking lot of the strip mall. 

#####

You have to tell him.

No you don't. Keep that shit bottled up. 

He's already figured out something's going on with you. Just get it over with, and you can work through it. 

Fucking FINE. OKAY. 

don't yell at me. 

"Shut up."

"I didn't say anything." 

Logan stared at him across the table, pouring "this ain't real fuckin' maple syrup" over his fat stack of pancakes, already through his sausage and eggs and ham and potatoes. Wade looked down at his own pancakes, a smiley face made with chocolate chips and bananas. A piece was already cut out that he didn't remember eating. He didn't remember the eggs and bacon, either, but they were devoured, too. 

Shit.

No. You just weren't paying attention, that's all. It's not the other thing.

I think.

He stabbed his fork down through the middle of the pancakes in frustration. 

"You good?" Logan stopped, fork midway between the plate and his mouth. He set it down to focus that laser attention on Wade. The gaze that made him either turn to jelly or grow a few more bones depending on context.  

Wade re-sorted his thoughts. It was just so hard.

"The constant cellular regeneration. It fucks my memory. Sometimes I just never form them. Sometimes I lose stuff. Sometimes it's nothing. Sometimes it's something really fucking important. But I can't predict it. I'll be looking for this specific little red Fiat in the back lot to sell to some douchebag, and it's not there when I remember it was there that morning. And turns out it's actually been four days." Wade sliced down into the pancakes and took a bite.

"Freaks me the fuck out." He chewed a few times, then spit it into his napkin with a gag. "Why did I fucking get this? I hate this." 

"Were those the deep thoughts in the car? The ones that made you whip your dick out?" Logan tapped his fork to the plate, and it was so…it was so annoying when he did that. That high-pitched sound. And there was this look. This pitying look. 

"Don't make fun of me." Wade's eyebrows creased hard, and he felt a scrim of tears well up.

God, this fucking sucks. Fuck this. Fuck this.

Logan paused on his own words, then snapped his jaw shut.

"Sorry. I misread the room. I'm just trying to understand. Same with some of the other stuff you do. Like when you freak out when you don't see me for a day."

I'm not nearly as smooth as I thought I was, shit. I didn't realize he noticed that.

"I feel like it's all connected." Logan dropped his fork and leaned his forearms on the table. "I just want to understand, Wade." 

"I'm terrified of losing you. Losing parts of you. Memories. The thing that I'm usually able to hang on to is the muscle memory shit. I've never forgotten how to fight or fuck, so I'd like specifically, not forget you how to fuck you. Specifically. So I keep thinking if I just-" He lifted his hands and made a squeezing motion in front of Logan's chest "-then I won't lose it as easily."

"And that makes sense to you?"

"Bitch-ass, what did I say about making fun of me?" 

"I'm not…" He craned his neck, pressing his fingertips to his forehead. "I'm not a stranger to amnesia. I know how scary it is. I'm just trying to understand your logic because it doesn't make sense to me. I don't get it."

"You don't get me," Wade snapped. 

"I don't. Not in this." 

"Cool. Awesome." Wade got up from the table. He made it to the door, then paused. He returned and dropped down into the booth, arms crossed over his chest. 

Logan has the car keys. 

#####

Wade let Logan rest his hand on his thigh, so that was something, at least. He wasn't getting frozen out. He'd been through that before, and it wasn't pleasant. 

Wade was silent, though, and that was scary. He had only seen it a handful of times over the last few months. Wade was thinking and thinking hard, focusing so he could properly turn everything over. Something was going to come out the other side of this that was important. So far it had been mostly positive, but there had to be a moment when the tide turned. 

"Logan, stop. Pull over." Wade was sitting up, eyes focused on something out his window. He obeyed immediately, trying to find what had grabbed Wade's attention. 

They were approaching a river. Along the perpendicular road, the one that connected to the main highway, two cars had pulled over to take care of what looked like a minor front-end crash. The car wasn't even stopped before Wade was tumbling out and running toward the scene of the crash.

"Wade, what're you doing?" Logan slid across the hood to keep up. "It's just a car wreck." They were approaching quickly, the two people exchanging insurance looking up in a panic. Logan tried to assure them from a distance. 

Then a loud whoosh went up, and one of the cars was overtaken by flames. 

#####

The 2010 -2016 Kia Soul was among a group of cars known to catch on fire after collision. 2.3 million of them had been recalled for it. 

That Kia, in particular, was starting to smoke under the hood. 

And now I'm running across the grass, and I'm not sure how I got here. But I'm not freaked out about it, yet. That's just adrenaline.

The fire went up just as he reached the car. A woman screamed behind him, but he knew Logan was there. Logan would take care of them. He had seen the baby in the back seat. The flames were hot on his skin as he went digging for the switchblade in his back pocket. The butt of the knife handle had a knob, and he slammed it into the corner of the back window. 

That's the weakest part of the window.

He dived through the now broken window, crunching up into the back seat. He sliced through the seatbelt and carseat anchor, but the fucker was in one of those fuck-ass bases. Whatever. He took off his shirt, threw it over the carseat, then kicked everything he had into the door. It broke off the hinges. 

"Wolverine, catch!" Then he threw the carseat clear of the vehicle.

Shit shit shit I just threw a fucking baby. Wait, the car seat should absorb the shock, oh, wait, Logan caught it.

Okay. 

A sizzling sound meant the fire was moving up the engine block through the wiring. Smoke started seeping through the cabin, but the missing door should have been enough to…to…

Hm. Something's wrong. 

"Wade, you idiot." Logan's voice. The SHNK of claws through the door behind him, then he was being scruffed around the neck. 

He lost some minutes in the confusion of his body being manhandled by familiar arms. 

"I swear to God, why don't you think ? You're going to kill me if you die."

Wade snapped back as the water hit him, Logan's arms wrapped around him tightly. 

"I got you," Logan murmured in his ear as they resurfaced. They kneeled together in the shallow water. The flames crawling up the car hit the gas tank, and the fire shifted color and increased intensity.

"Why am I in the water?" Wade asked. 

"You were literally on fire," Logan growled. "Full on human torch."

"Oh, is that what that was?" Wade settled back into the plane of Logan's chest. Fire was tricky. It would keep eating through cells as long as they regenerated. Surprisingly draining to heal from.

"How is it that you can fight endless mobs of yourself without breaking a sweat, but doing a basic smash and grab rescue you look like a drunk frat boy with a hernia." Logan was also a little out of breath, though. They both knew that these little on the spot jobs were the hardest. With a full on mission, you were ready. You warmed up. Zero-to-hero took a little more out of you. It was more personal. More up close. Bunch of people die during a dab of super-villainy, sure. If someone kicked it right in front of you because you couldn't pull them off the subway tracks in time, that sucked a syphilitic dick.

And I don't exactly randomly rescue people. Not before this. Waste of cardio.

What have you done to me, my dearest darling? Heart of my heart.

"I didn't have the suit on," Wade replied as a way to wrap up all those thoughts. Logan kissed the back of his head. 

"If I tell you to communicate better, will you remember?" Logan sighed. "I'm being extremely serious. You might forget things, but I remember. And I remember well when I'm at full mental capabilities. Got a lot of trauma up there, so there's not a lot of room left." He squeezed Wade even tighter, the breath puffing out of him. "And I can't manage both our impulse control issues." 

"No promises, honey badger. This brain doesn't always connect to this body." 

"I…okay. That I might understand."

#####

They slinked through the door into Wade and Althea's apartment, clothes still dripping wet. Logan didn't smell anyone, so Althea was out and had taken Puppins. Reasonable. Wade loved that damn dog, but he wasn't home consistently enough, right now, to take care of her in full. Wade had been chattering endlessly about car recalls and leaking gas tank valves, but he fell instantly silent once they passed the threshold.  

"I don't like being here alone," he said flatly. 

"I'm here."

"But you're going to go back to the mansion later."

"Yeah, but you're gonna be working. I can stay until you leave. If Scott gets shitty about the car, then whatever."

"Yeah, but-" 

"Wade. Babe." 

Wade spun around in the middle of the living space, arms flopping.

"Why did you decide on 'babe?'" Wade pouted.

"You call me whatever new thing you think of at the moment, but I'm more of a find a pet name and stick to it kinda guy." Logan rested his hands on his hips, trying to decide where this was going.

"You called me 'daarrrlin' the first time." The impression was pretty spot on. "Then it was 'honey.' Then it was 'sweetness.' But now you've landed on 'babe,' and you stayed there. I want to know why. Show your work."

Logan blinked at him a few times. He wasn't sure he could actually explain it. 

"I went to call you 'bub' one time in front of the others, and it came out 'babe.' And I just…liked it. So I kept it. It…fit."

"You've called me, 'babe' in front of the others?"

"Yeah, probably a few times. I'm not really counting."

"Do they know we're together?"

"I haven't been keeping it a secret, so yeah, probably. They're not stupid, and we're not exactly discreet. Last week you asked Scott if there was any flavored lube in the next delivery because, and I quote, 'when I eat Logan's ass later, I want to make sure I pair it with the right wine.'" 

"Witty banter. I didn't know they were imagining us fucking night and day all over the house."

"Night and day, sure, technically. I think 'my room' isn't really 'all over the house.'"

"There was that one time in that empty classroom." 

"That doesn't count," Logan choked. 

"Mmmhmm." Wade clucked, popping his tongue loudly against the floor of his mouth. "So, to be clear, the entirety of the X-Men know that I've been all up in this." He made a waving motion that circled all of Logan's body with special attention on the crotch region.

"Again, yes. Probably." 

"That's extremely embarrassing for you," Wade smirked. 

"I'd like to go back to the ass-slapping."

"I told you. Those cheeks are irresistible. I cannot be contained." He moved forward a few steps and wrapped his hand around Logan's wrist. "Let's change. You can wear my sweats."

"Please don't give me one of the blow-job shirts," Logan said as he was pulled across the room to the set of hampers where Wade kept his mishmash of clothes. 

"Now you're getting the cum slut booty shorts." 

Wade started to strip, his body moving with slow, awkward, weirdly normal movements. It was the second degree burns and smoke inhalation. On the surface they looked like they healed quickly, just a little knitting of flesh. But they hurt underneath a lot longer than other injuries. That was probably why he still seemed off. But there was also…

"Wade." Logan waited for Wade to turn around. His flannel was now sitting wet and balled up in the back of the Civic. Instead, he pulled up the bottom of his t-shirt slowly, tantalizing, letting it whip over his head with a stretch of his body. "So you can remember better." He held out his arms, canted slightly into a soft U-shape. He turned slowly, trying to give Wade some kind of show. He wasn't exactly good at this sort of thing, but something about it made sense.

#####

Oh, you sweet sweet idiot. 

Logan was just standing there, back to him, triceps fucking rippling. 

Do you have a license? For those guns?!?

"You stupid slut," Wade whispered. He moved to Logan, and whipped his arms around his waist from behind. He had been stopped with his wet boxes halfway down his hips, and he just let them fall the rest of the way.

He needed Logan to be naked, too. Not anything more than that, surprisingly. Just naked. He struggled with his belt buckle, but the damp leather had swollen in the metal loop. Logan cut through it with the tip of one of his ever so slightly extended claws. He retracted then turned in the circle of Wade's arms, breaking the loop with his taught ass. 

JESUS. 

Wade pulled the broken belt free, then somehow managed to fumble down the zipper and top button of his jeans. But the slim cut of the pants was clinging to his glutes and thighs. Wade yanked on them, and they wouldn't budge. 

Oh, god, I'm going to cry over pants. 

"I can't get them off." He already knew he was mumbling, the rattle of his thoughts only slipping out in little breathy whispers. 

"What was that?" Logan asked gently, leaning in and up to Wade's ear. 

"TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS."

Logan didn't question the zero to one hundred reaction, just slid his pants down himself, taking his boxer briefs with him, then stepping out of them. Wade slammed himself into Logan's body, wrapping his arm around him again, digging his nails into his spine and shoulder blades. Logan's arms came up from below to hug him back, tight, pulling their chests and stomachs and hips together.

Wade attacked him with his mouth. That was the only word for it. He wanted to bite and chomp at Logan's face. To rip the flesh from his immaculate cheeks. The only thing holding him back from going full animal was how tired he was. 

"Pick me up," he whined into Logan's neck, then jumped until his knees were locked around his hips. Logan made a little oomph sound, but snagged him around the waist and under his ass. 

He dropped them both on the couch. It was only just big enough to hold them, but not nearly long enough. Logan ended up with one leg up on the back of the couch, bent at the knee, shoulders propped on the arm. Wade settled into the shape his body made, curling one ankle underneath Logan's other leg. They were immediately intertwined. 

Their lips fell against each other, desperate and stupid from adrenaline. Familiar, though. It should be. They'd been doing this very thing almost every day for months. 

The end of this honeymoon phase was going to be a bitch .

Can you get That Good Dick DTs?

That feels insensitive…

FOCUS. 

They were getting hard against each other as they kissed, the weight of Wade's body pressing him deeper into Logan. 

Then that asshole pulled away.

"Probably shouldn't get too caught up in this. You've got your job tonight." 

Wade groaned, stretching a little. 

"There's no jooooob. There never was one." 

Logan's hands went extremely tight on Wade's skin. The very very very tippy tips of Logan's claws pierced his flesh, and he shivered in the pain-pleasure-pain. 

"If you say the words 'educated wish'..." His warning delivered, he retracted his claws again. 

Wade rolled his forehead across Logan's chest. 

"I started talking to my old merc contacts when we got back from the Void. I started picking up small jobs when you moved out. Real easy security shit. Made it easier to deal with you not being here. But then after the robot thing the jobs felt…boring. And any time I had to choose between working or spending time with you, I chose you. So I started getting picky."

"How are you paying your half of the rent?"

"That's the weird advantage of the merc work/shithole apartment combo. Couple good jobs and you're covered for the month. Not dressing in Givenchy, but you make it work." 

Logan sat up, forcing Wade to do a weird little half curl just to keep himself wrapped around his body.

"But why lie about it? I don't like you lying to me." His voice was sharp. Angry. Wade rolled back over his thighs to sit up on the couch. He brought a pillow over his half-hard cock to not distract himself then shoved one over Logan's for the same reason. 

"I don't know. I was embarrassed? Maybe? Worried you'd get tired of me, but also worried if I said I needed space you'd think I was tired of you . Problem solved in both directions if I have to go to a job. But I hate not being around you. It physically hurts when I don't get to see you for some reason. 

"Well not for some reason. There's a reason. It's because I still can't seem to remember what you smell like when you're not around. And you can smell me; you know what I smell like. You know I'm coming. I actually stole one of your shirts, and I sniff it when we're not together. And I'm like 'mmhmm, yep, that's Logan.' My boner certainly recognizes you. So why can't I smell you from a distance? Clearly that means I can't remember what you smell like. Then obviously there's other things I'm probably forgetting too, and I don't even realize it. 

"But what kind of needy-ass bitch tells someone 'hey, I have to sew my face to your ass Human Centipede style because I'm worried I'll forget what it tastes like.' Listen to how insane that sounds." 

"I do agree that you sound completely unhinged," Logan nodded. 

"Thank you for validating my emotions. I appreciate it." He leaned back on the couch. 

I'm actually completely serious; why does that sound so sarcastic?

#####

Logan traced the hunched curve of Wade's body as he curled up on himself. That was the thing that no one understood about Wade. The thing that he had to keep reminding himself when he told Wade to slow down and think. Wade did think. It was just too quick and frenzied, ideas cycling as fast as his brain regenerated new neurons. 

So when those thoughts emerged they sounded like madness.

"Wade." Logan stopped. Careful. Gentle. Breathe. "I can smell you because I have super senses. Other people can't smell each other from down the hallway. I need to be sure that you understand that before you spiral." 

"I want to be able to smell you," Wade replied blankly. 

"What if I wore a very specific cologne that you pick? Then you'll be able to smell me from farther away."

"But then you wouldn't smell like you anymore."

"So, see, you do know what I smell like."

Wade attempted to retort, then stopped, pursing his lips on his objection. Logan leaned over and rested his forehead on Wade's shoulder. Careful. Gentle. Breathe. 

"Don't lie to me, again." It was a bark, immediately losing the pattern of his mantra. "I can't do this if you lie to me." Wade's body tensed. 

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"I'm saying I love you. But love's not enough if you're going to keep big things from me. We're fine, still. It's okay. But it's not something I can ignore." Logan pressed his palms together and squeezed. Too much shit happened to his brain that he couldn't control. He didn't need additional complications.

Wade's hands crawled into the square of Logan's forearms and gripped them tight at the crook of his elbows. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please don't end us when we just started. I love you." He pushed his body into Logan's forcing them back into the position they were in before. "I'll show you. What do you want? Just tell me what to put where."

"Babe, shut up." Logan clapped his hand around the back of Wade's head and pressed it to his chest. "If you don't have to rush off somewhere, then just lay here with me. There's too little of that in my life." He dragged his fingers up and down Wade's spine. He had been too intense, let the trauma do too much of the talking.

The half-lie that made him follow Wade in the beginning had turned out all right. It was a falsehood he could understand the desperation of in hindsight. A little white lie about a gig from a man who literally didn't understand how his own brain worked wasn't the kind of thing to blow up a whole relationship for. And Wade understood. He wasn't ignoring him or disregarding his feelings on the matter.

Wade would remember this.

"You don't have to solve everything with sex or violence," Logan said. 

"What about sex and violence?"

"Sure. Okay. But only if they're at exactly the same time in equal amounts. "

"I love it when you pull out the quips. It's so sexy." Wade dragged his teeth down Logan's chest and kissed his nipple, running his tongue over it in little flicks.

"What did I just say about using sex to solve your problems?" But they'd also just had an incredibly serious conversation while both completely naked, so maybe Wade deserved at least a little credit. 

"My dick is shaking hands with yours, right now. Where did you think this was going?" 

Wade's arm snaked down into the space between them. His large hand came around both of them, pressing their shafts together. Just a little bit of movement, and the friction of his rough palm started Logan on the long, spiraling draw toward pleasure. He met his own hand with Wade's between them, wrapping around the other side of their paired lengths. Logan ran his other hand up the back of Wade's neck, pressing his fingers into the back of his skull. 

"That feels so goddamn good," Logan growled. 

"And you said not to use my cock to communicate." Wade ran a few kisses along Logan's jaw before nibbling on his skin. 

"Why do you use your teeth so much?" Logan asked between little kissing pecks across his lips.

"Because I'm a freak. Do you want me to stop?"

"Fuck no."

Wade nipped at Logan's chin harder.

"Why don't you use yours?" Wade asked. "Bring more of that mustelid energy to the bedroom."

"I have no idea what that means, but if that's what you want…" 

#####

Logan's teeth sunk hard into his shoulder where it met his neck and-

-fuck shit if I was closer I would have come a fountain. 

Logan's jaws locked into place, and he dropped the hand that had been on the back of Wade's head to around the small of his back. His hand tilted to grip around the shape of his ass, and their lower bodies pressed together tighter. Logan's hand grappled with his until he couldn't be sure who was stroking who, everything a mass of sensation on the back of that quick, hot buildup.

Slowly, the thoughts dripped out of his head until there was nothing left but need . Raw. Nerve endings that normally fired in pain instead trilling with pleasure.

Sex and violence. 

He pumped faster, trying to focus on the man underneath him at the same time. How Logan's skin felt against his. The scratch of Logan's body hair on his stomach and beard on his cheek. The sting of Logan's teeth in his muscles and the way his body kept trying to heal around them. The sloppy weep of Logan's precum dripping over his hand. The steam of Logan's sweat as it curled around their bodies. 

Tobacco and orange peel and leather and a jar of nickels. That's what Logan smells like. I know what Logan smells like. 

Logan fucked up into his hand from below, their heels and toes tangling together as they both tried to push against the couch for leverage. Logan's whole body tensed, hips thrusting up to lift them both. He released his mouth from Wade's shoulder and howled as he erupted over their hands. 

Wade crushed his mouth against Logan's as Logan brought him the rest of the way.

"Fuck," he whispered into Logan's mouth as the spring broke and his own cum spread out between their stomachs. He tried to dig for something else to say. Some little jokey joke to break the tension. He couldn't find anything, his brain flaring back to life with a gasp and a scream, full of nothing but Logan. 

#####

Logan flicked over Wade's shirt with a half-extended claw and caught it in his fist.

"Sit up," he murmured into Wade's ear. 

"Dun wanna." Wade tucked his arms under Logan's shoulders in protest. He stabbed Wade in the ass a little with the still out claw, and that startled him into rolling off just enough. "Love it when you use the claws to push me around."

"Do you actually?" He wiped them both down and threw the shirt on the floor. Wade rolled back, resting his head on Logan's chest. "Because I spend a lot of energy attempting to not spear people I care about through the stomach. If you're into it, though, I could be convinced to reconsider."

"Our safeword can be Graymalkin. Because I'm one of…Cable's ships…that…that one didn't come together." 

He was too tired to rise to the bait of whatever Wade was talking about and rested his hands gently on Wade's back instead. The TV across the room flicked on. 

"Found the remote. It was between the cushions." Wade flicked through some channels then stopped with a soft "oooh."

"What the fuck is this?"

"Say Yes to the Dress. Wedding dress shopping, but each one costs three month's rent."

"Shit, weddings are expensive." He watched the movement on the TV for a careful few minutes. "Okay, that dress looks great on her. Why is her mom being a bitch about it?"

"FUCKING RIGHT?"

Logan woke at the sound of someone at the door. They had fallen asleep on the couch and it had grown dark in the interim. He pulled an arm out from under Wade's weight, shook the pins and needles out, and prepped his claws to spring free. Whoever it was slid a key into the lock. He relaxed. Althea. She had caught them in worse, and at least she wouldn't see they were currently naked on her couch. Logan shook Wade awake a little. 

"Althea's home. We should maybe pretend we're decent people."

"We're absolutely not, though," Wade said sleepily but moved to sit up. He half pulled the blanket off the back of the couch, but was still waking up and moving slowly. 

The lock clicked and the door cracked. 

"Hey, you old slut," Wade yawned. Then the door finished opening. 

"Oh my god. I'm gonna gouge my own eyes out." Laura pushed Colossus in front of her and used his body to block her view. For his part, he lifted his hand to shield his eyes and turned away. 

"I said to knock when entering a man's private home." His deep Russian accent was caught between admonishment and embarrassment. 

Logan snatched the blanket and threw it over both of them. 

"If you don't want to see my ass, then hand me some pants," Logan barked, gesturing toward the clothes hampers. 

Colossus volunteered himself for the task, still keeping his back to them as he grabbed a set of shorts and a pair of sweats and threw them across the room. Logan gave Wade the shorts and shimmied into the sweat pants. 

"Laura, what the fuck are you doing here?" He stood, moving away from the couch. She gave half a glance over her shoulder then turned when she could confirm he was half-dressed. 

"You said you were going to train with me tonight, but you didn't come back." 

"Shit." Logan pressed his palms to his forehead. "I'm so sorry, kid. Wade's job…got canceled-" the lie came easy and he hated himself a little for it "-and I lost track of time."

"Yeah, I can see that," she tsked. 

"You didn't need to come all the way here."

"That idiot throwing a baby out of a car is getting memed on TikTok, right now." Laura gestured to Wade. 

"Oooh, I've never been viral before. Well, not on the internet. Been viral a few other ways." Wade had propped himself up on the arm of the couch. 

"So I called your phone to check on you. When you didn't answer, I got worried. Colossus offered to drive me over, and Yukio gave me her emergency key."

"My phone…" Logan lifted his hand to his chest where his shirt pocket would have been. The shirt that was currently curled up in the back of the Civic. "Shit."

Logan dropped on the arm of the couch, scooting Wade over a few inches. 

"Okay, how do I fix this?" Logan asked.

"I don't know. You're not dead, so I get to be mad at you. But you're not dead, so I'm also relieved." Laura spread her hands in a weird half-shrug.

"You could set up a training schedule," Colossus tried to mediate. 

"Wait, that's actually a really good idea." Wade hung half-off the couch. "Because I'll fight you. Like, I'll kick your fucking ass as hard as you want."

"I could go for that," Laura replied. 

"Your level of enthusiasm worries me," Logan said. 

"It's your DNA," Wade reminded him. He pressed his eyes shut in annoyance, realizing he was right, and that was really fucking weird the more he thought about it. 

"Let's set that up, okay? Book us into the Danger Room. We'll make it a standing date."

"Yeah," Laura said quietly. She bit her lip and took several hard breaths. He recognized that coping mechanism. "Come here a sec." She moved into the corner of the kitchen part of the space. Not a lot of room from the other two but they had a vague sense of privacy if Logan created a body-wall. She lowered her voice. 

"You're not my dad," she started.

"I…am, though…"

"You know what I mean," she sighed. "You were the closest thing I ever had to a real parent who actually loved me. But our time together was so short. And we kicked ass in the Void. But you're also dead. I mourned you. But now you're here."

"And I'm not your Logan. No, I get it." He crossed his arms over his chest, hyper aware of being shirtless, still. 

"I'd like you to be one of my Logans, though. But I'm not totally sure what that looks like or how to do that. And as much as it annoys me, I'm also dealing with the fact that I have to share you."

Logan glanced down, looking for Wade out of the corner of his eye. Wade was watching them over the top of the couch, peeking up just the top of his head.

"I already had this conversation with him, but I haven't really been part of a family in awhile. So if I fuck it up…"

"Hey." She punched him in the arm. "If I end up living as long as you do, we got time to figure it out, right?"

"Those smarts aren't my DNA."

"Nurture vs nature?" She patted her hands on her thighs. "Well, you're alive. So I'll go. Forgive me if I don't hug you goodbye."

"Yeah." He reached out and patted her on the side of the arm. "Thank you for giving a shit about me, kid. And Wade, even though he's an idiot."

"You're both easy to give a shit about it." She paused. "Also, your pants say Big Booty Goddess on the back. Thought you should know."

#####

Easy to give a shit about. 

Ringing endorsement, honestly. 

They had finally found the note that Al left them about a long weekend in Atlantic City. Logan had already decided to stay that night, but that secured it. Didn't mean he didn't freak out a little when the other half of the fold out sofa was empty an hour after they had gone to bed.  

Logan had only gone as far as the dining table, though, talking on the cellphone he had finally retrieved from the car and working through the last few swallows of a floral juice glass of Jack Daniels. Wade watched him with his chin on the back of the couch.

"Okay so she's in her room…Okay…Thanks, Hank…She was supposed to text me when she got back, but…No I recognize the hypocrisy doesn't mean I didn't want to check on her." Logan chuckled darkly. "Um, I was going to talk to you about this tomorrow, but since I have you I figured I'd give you a heads up. Not blind side you. If there's a place for me on the X-Men, I don't want to lose it, but I want to live with my boyfriend. Maybe be available for freelance. Only if that's doable, though."

boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend

"Can we talk about what that might look like? Yeah…Okay… Yeah. I'll be back in the morning…Yes I'll talk to Scott….yeah. Okay. Thanks again, Hank." He set the phone down gently, considered the opposite wall for a minute, then stood.

He noticed Wade watching, but didn't say anything before crawling back into bed. He opened his arms and made a gesture that Wade should settle in. He didn't hesitate, curling up against Logan's chest.

"Boyfriend?" Wade asked.

"Are you not?"

"No I…I am…" Wade pressed a hand to Logan's chest. "Can I be serious with you?"

"God, please do." 

"Don't give up being an X-Men just because I'm a wreck. Don't pick me over them."

Logan kissed him on the forehead. 

"Not off the team, yet. And even if that's how things work out, it wouldn't be picking you. It'd be picking me. Picking a life I built myself that wants you in it."

Wade pressed tighter to Logan's body. Scent. Sight. Touch. Taste. He wanted to take it all in, to capture this exact moment in time. 

I'm not fucking forgetting this.

[adventuringblind]

Drive With You Forever

Chapter Fourteen: The Rise and the Fall

Max Verstappen x Charles Leclerc x Lando Norris x Reader x Oscar Piastri

Chapter summary: Charles has a theory, Lando and Oscar get a better car, they group takes a trip to America to learn more about our reader

Warnings: Ferrari strategists, blood, mentions of death, gore, mentions of past abuse and neglect, medical abuse and malpractice, no graphic descriptions but r*ape is alluded too, panic attacks, mentions of sickness, cults, witchcraft is mentioned along with burnings

Notes: This one was hard. It gets really dark so please read the warnings.

Also, thank you for all the support for my writing! I'm terrible at responding to comments, but I want you to know that I see them and I appreciate every single one of you!

Previous <-

Masterlist

It’s always weird when things go back to normal. It feels temporary. Like she’ll never be able to rest easy because something else is going to happen.

Even when they’re here, relaxing after a race.

Things had been so crazy lately that none of them wanted to join in on the after party. Instead, they all lay comfortably with each other.

"So I have a theory." States Charles. His body splayed out at the foot of the bed. Next to him is Oscar. Max is laying the correct direction woth his legs over the top of the other two. Then Lando and Y/N are leaning against the bed, curled into each other on the floor.

"That's dangerous." Snickers Max. He receives a scowl from the Monegasque.

"What's your theory, Charlie?" Pipes the girl on the floor. It's never mattered the idea or thought. She always wants to hear it.

"At least one person wants to hear it." He grumbles. "Anyway, y/n has four entirely different abilities, and now she has four partners. Do you think it was meant to be?"

"It is an odd coincidence." States Oscar. He looks up from his phone and considers the statement.

"We could see if there's more to it than you know." Lando says into her hair.

It's not something she would've considered a year ago. But now, with everything she's survived, maybe it would be worth a look around. Show her boys where she used to live.

It's not pretty by any means, but it is a part of her.

~

Before they could take a trip to her home, they had to get through Silverstone. Lando is excited the car upgrades are doing their job and Oscar is absolutely petrified.

It doesn’t show on the camera or when he’s in the car, but when they catch him before the race after qualifying third, he looks terrified.

Charles and Max were upset they couldn’t get to him, ,raving it to the other two to make sure he’s properly encouraged before the race starts.

She standing in front of him holding his face with her hands. It could almost be intimidating if she wasn’t complimenting every fiber of his existence. She does it to all of them on bad days and it never fails to make them smile.

“Os, you are an amazing driver. There isn’t anything that can change that. Now you just have a car to prove that you’ve always been good.”

She kisses his forehead before he’s called to get into his car. Lando makes sure to also give him a pep talk before his engineers have to drag him away.

She bolts back to the Redbull garage. She has her own job to do. Even though she spends majority of her time watching the race in the screen, she dies still analyze data.

It proves difficult, however, when three of her lovers are in the top three places. She had to bite her tongue to hold in her excitement.

Then the unlucky safety car. She knew Oscar would be disappointed, but he's still in fourth.

Max crosses first, followed by Lando. The two are absolutely ecstatic. She can see the mild disappointment when Oscar isn't in the third spot.

Charles is definitely upset with how his race went. He'll need cheering up as well. Finishing ninth and having his strategy messed over again was not something he'd wanted this weekend.

She runs off to find Charles and Oscar first. They're waiting just outside the weigh station and she can see the both with sollum looks.

"I don't care what anyone says. You two were amazing despite the difficulties."

Charles just hugs her. He's tired and words are hard. Her embrace is relaxing and all he needs right now.

When the two are consoled for the moment, she knows she has to let them go. Their media duties are still part of the job even if they hate them.

She gets to leave with Charles first. Oscar and Lando are still finishing up media duties, and Max is doing his best to avoid them but failing.

Charles crashes as soon as he's in the room. Face planting on the bed and screaming into the pillows.

She sits next to him and plays with his hair. "I wish I could just be happy for Max and Lando- even Oscar!"

"It's okay to be upset, Sharl. Feelings have a way of escaping like that." She whispers to him gently. She ponders for a moment. "Maybe a cheat meal is in order."

Charles lifts his gaze from the bed to her and smiles. "I think you're a genius."

~

The other three come back much later than expected. The three of them are far too exhausted to do anything else but sleep.

Max opens the door for the three of them and is met with the lovely smell of food. He didn't realize how hungry he was until now.

The two who'd left earlier are sprawled out with a blanket on the floor. They'd found that tables in hotels never have enough chairs. The floor has become their table in these scenarios.

"Welcome back! We got dinner!"

The stresses of the day, the highs and the lows, fade into the back of everyone's minds. Their company enough for each other.

~

They'd left for America the next morning. She'd begged Sébastien to come with them, and he'd accepted. Though he was meeting them there.

None of them had seen her home before. The boys made sure she knew she could back out at any time. But it's almost as if she needs this. To finally close the lid on the box.

Sure, there may he a group of people after her now, but her father can't touch her. She has the freedom to go searching for her own answers.

Seb landed before them, so he was waiting for them when they landed. She jogged to hreet him and threw herself into his arms.

Seb had barely talked to Oscar in the past, and now they've had some video calls as a group, but nothing major. So, he settles for a hand shake and a warm greeting. "These four treating you well?"

"Always room for improvement." Oscar laughs as the other four feign hurt and shock.

"I think we're going to get along fantastic."

The ride from the airport to the property is ridiculous. A handful of back roads and small towns make for fun stops, but it's still long.

She'd had to message Guenther about the address. She'd never needed to learn it, so she never had. She only knew property lines.

Finally, they're turning down a familiar overgrown dirt driveway. Everyone can see her body tense up.

"Are you okay? Should we stop here?" Asks the Brit. He's trying not to let his worry for her show, but his voice fails him.

"No, I'm fine. It's still about a mile from this point."

The land is overgrown and eery. It's not long til they can see the warehouse in the distance. It was larger than they'd imagined. Lando had pictured something like a shed and Oscar just ran with that idea. Charles thought maybe a prison or one of those abandoned hospitals. Max didn’t care, he just knew whatever it was couldn’t be good.

The building itself looked menacing. The sides are covered with vines and there were random bits of debris scattered around the property. It looks both unsafe and unsanitary.

Seb stops the car a few arid away from the entrance. Everyone getting out of the SUV, except for her. Charles comes around the side and opens her door. “Mon amour, we don’t have to go any further.”

“I want too, just need a minute.” She sighs. Charles can see the glaringly obvious unease in her eyes. He laces her fingers with his and lets her take her time getting out of the vehicle. He refuses to let go even after she’s out.

They walk hand in hand to the metal door that everyone assumes is the entrance. Max has set himself in front of everyone, nothing unusual, but he kept Lando and Oscar behind him instead of letting them walk with him. The gloomy feeling of the building not helping protective nature.

Max attempts to get the door open. His attempt being foiled by things in the way. She watches on as the five males struggle to get it open.

“What the hell is behind this thing?” Asks a heaving Lando.

“Shelves I reckon.” Guesses the Aussie.

then the door busts open and then tumble down to the floor in a heap. “It was locked actually.” Smirks the female. “took me a minutes to get it open.”

Charles groans and shoves himself out from underneath the pile. “We loosened it for you.”

~

The building is just as eery inside as out. The group stick close to eachother as they explore about.

The female leads them to where the braker box is. All of them practically keel over when she gets on the lights.

The sight they are met with is terrifying. Almost as if they walked into some sort of horror movie.

There are bodies tagged and lined up, which explains the rotting smell. Machinery litters the ground. Bigger machines that none of them know the purpose of are in their own sections of the warehouse.

"It's not what you were expecting..." She fidgets with her fingers.

"I don't think it's about what we were expecting. I think that all of us hate that you had to live like this." Oscar explains carefully. Charles had yet to let go of her, and Oscar now sits himself on her other side.

Lando peeks his head around another set of shelves. "It almost looks like he was part of a cult." He scrunchs his nose in disgust.

"I wouldn't be shocked if he was." She points to a set of stairs. "My room and his office are up that way."

The group trek up the stairs and are met with a set of office style rooms. She leads the all the way down the hall to the furthest door on the right. She pushes open the door and inside is her room, exactly how she’d left it. The screen is even still missing from when she took it out. “This is my room.”

Her partners and adopted father file into the room. It’s not a large room and there is not much to look at. A mattress on the floor and some old books is as exciting as it gets.

They are all rendered speechless and she doesn’t know what to do. So she takes them to the next room. The door across the hall is filled with machinery. What they used to help with the F1 cars. The bigger machines are scattered about, but this room help some of the smaller testing components. “I spent a lot of time in here.” She smiles at them to hopefully lighten the mood.

She steps out again and points at the door beside it. “That one is where he used to hold the corpses. Since the Haas team was here often enough he didn’t want them to be seen.” Then she sighs again and starts back down the hall. “The rest is really for storage. My father spent majority of his time in the lower levels.”

“We can stop now if you need. Or take a break and get some air.” Suggests Seb. His fatherly instincts tell him this may be to much for her right now.

She shakes her head no. “I’ve just always hated the basement. It’s where he keeps all the important things.”

Max eyes her skeptically. “Important things?”

“Like food and my mothers corpse. The only way I could get food is to try and bring her back.” She shrugs. She can hear Max suppressing an angry growl.

They make their way to the stairs on the opposite end of the building. The lighting down below considerably darker then the upper floors.

The basement room looks as if it’s been carved out. Like it wasn’t here originally. At the center lies a beautifully adorned casket. She gestures to it. “This is my mom. I’ll spare you the disgust and not open that.”

The other side of the room houses a desk with books and a laptop. She’d forgotten he had that. She’d gotten caught on numerous occasions trying to use it. She eyes the laptop and then slips it into her bag. Something Seb had made her bring just incase she did find anything she wanted to take with her.

The laptop is newer then she remembers. Something like what she used for work.

The vials that he’d been injecting her with to supposedly rewrite her DNA are still sitting on a metal table, along with other medical tools.

She steps over to it. The bed he used to operate wasn’t a a traditional one. It was another casket sent on top of a table. He’d used it to remind her of why he was doing it, what her mother had felt, where she lays now permanently.

She can feel the walls closing in as she opens it. The woods inside still stained red. Memories of the times he’d cut her open just to sew her back up.

The vague sensation of teeth and hands on her skin fills her senses as the ground falls out from under her.

~

Max is the first to hear her breathing quicken. He’s standing almost next to her, observing, taking in every piece of information. Charles had gone with Seb and Oscar to explore a different offshoot. Seb had noticed weird writing on the wall and wanted to investigate.

They were right down the hall so Max wasn’t to worried about them. His attention now completely on the female.

She shrieks. Her body goes rigid. Then she’s falling the the ground.

Max catches her and Lando slides down next to them. Both look between her and each other. A dull pulsing light emitting from her skin but her hands and trailing all the way to her chest.

The other three come back into the room and frantically look around. “What happened.”

“She was looking at something, froze, then fell over.”

Lando can’t even get words off his tongue. Max can see him struggling and knows he needs to get everyone out of the building. “Seb can you help get Lan out of here?” Seb nods and drags the Brit back up the stairs. He would’ve sent Oscar with him since his demeanor seemed to calm the other, but ever since the bunker incident, Oscar was more panicked when away from her.

Charles and Max haul her up the stairs and out of the building while Oscar guides and moves things out of the way. He also took her bag so they didn’t have to deal with it swinging back and forth.

Finally they are able to drape her body across the middle seat of the SUV. The glow now diminishing but the girl’s condition seemingly getting worse. The blood, sweat, and tears they are used to seeing are being intensified.

Seb manages to get Lando to breathe then the five are able to discuss.

“I think her father may have been a cult leader.” Confesses Seb. The Germans eyes are sad and distraught but he’s doing his best to remain calm.

Oscar is sitting with the females head in his lap. He’s almost defensively holding her body, something they all noticed he started doing after they were rescued. “We found a book about her mom. Looks like the same handwriting in all the notes.”

“The scariest part is that she endured the same things.” Charles runs his palms over his bare skin, a nervous tick that Max tried to keep him from doing because he rubbed his skin raw. “She could do similar things to her, it seems. Whatever happened after is hard to piece together. She wasn’t meant to get pregnant, I don’t think, at least not when she did.”

“She served as some sort of alter. They did things that ar unspeakable.”

Max stands behind Charles and holds his hands to hopefully ease the need to turn his skin red. “Do you think the cult is who’s after her now? If they need her to complete whatever rituals they’re doing, it would make sense they’d want her back.”

“I think that she is more to them then any of us could’ve guessed.”

~

The ride back to the airport was long and contemplative. They decided not to go back to Monaco for now and instead head with Seb to Germany. The female still had yet to wake up and Lando is becoming increasingly more aware war of every time she inhales.

He sits in the back seat with Charles, leaning into the monegasque’s shoulder. “Do you think she’ll be ok?” He asks.

“Pretty sure nothing can get her at this point. Plus, she’s already looking better.” Charles reassures him. Yet the sinking feeling in his gut is still there.

They have too carry her into the plane. Lando watches on as Max bundles her in his arms and carries her inside. Lando jumps on the opportunity to sit with her. He eases her body into his, grateful that she’s not burning up anymore.

They sleep most the ride home, aside from Charles who is picking through the found journals. Lando is finally able to rest his mind to the feeling of her steady heartbeat against his hand.

~

Hanna is in full mother mode as soon as her husband, daughter, and her daughters four partners step through the door.

She has them set the unconscious female in the room they keep for them should they visit. She's quick to clean her up and change her clothes into comething comfortable. She doesn't let any of the boys near her, much to their protest.

It's quiet around the house. Nobody knows what to say. Where are they supposed to go from here?

Seb pulls the laptop out of the girls bag and finds a suitable charger. He knows he'll have to pick through it eventually. He just hopes she'll be awake before then.

"What if she doesn't wake up?" Lando is the first to voice his concern. "I know she always does... but this feels different."

"Don't say such things, Lando." Charles has kept himself curled up in an empty corner of the living area. He's dealt with so much loss already that he doesn't think he could take another. He's been spiraling since she's been out of sight, and it's visible in everything he does. "My question is why they wouldn't put her father away to begin with if he's leading a cult?"

"They may not have known. It seems they've been around for some time, and since Haas was paying him for work, I don't doubt there was money involved." Seb leans futher back into his chair. Even he is panicking. Though he's trying to remain calm for the youngers sake.

Max can't take it anymore and gets up from his place on the sofa and plant himself next to Charles. He wraps the Monegasque in his arms protectively. His body doesn't relax all the way, but the tears he'd been holding back now find Max's shirt.

Oscar is pacing. He's been pacing. He hasn't stopped moving since the female left his sight, and he's on the verge of toppling over mentally.

He's been mumbling this to himself. Definitely not things they've heard him say before. They all look as him with worried expressions.

"Jack?" He freezes at the nickname. Then he finds a place next to Lando who'd called for him.

The look in his eyes is one they've grown used to. He's thinking through a problem. Looking for every tiny detail. "They were talking about things in front of me while I was drugged." He declares.

Now it's everyone else's turn to freeze. They hadn't pushed Oscar to talk about things. He'd been doing that with his therapist. They'd almost that forced on him after he couldn't get past the separation anxiety. Thankfully, he had complied and was doing better mentally when he wasn't with one of them.

Now, to hear him openly state such a thing is both promising and terrifying.

They continue to just listen and let him work at his own pace. Lando plays with his fingers to remind him he's here with them and safe.

"There were complications with the birth. They knew her mother was getting older, so they would need a replacement, but she ended up in labor early so they couldn't finish."

"The journal also gives detailed instructions about what the process was that created them." Charles adds into the conversation. Pieces are starting to click together now. "It's dated back from forever ago as well. Something about starting from a line of witches, supposedly."

"But why do they need her specifically?" Max leans in closer to Charles. The unease and addiment need to keep his lovers safe is doing nothing for his own anxiety.

Seb leans forward now. He's pondering what he found as well, trying to link every bit of information. "Because she's the last of the bloodline." Seb only gets stares in return.

"Explain, please." Despite all of them being confused, Lando is the only one brave enought to voice it.

"Well, since I've picked her up when she was fifteen, it's always been men that she's talked about. There were never any females in the picture, I believe. So she might be the last of her bloodline."

"The journals sort of prove that as well. The history of it is muddled and doesn't make sense, but there is a story written about a lone female survivor during a burning. Some of the men who had already fancied her decided to use her in whatever ways they deemed neccecary, but she only ever bore one child." Charles recalls the story but cringes while doing so. He was sparing them the most gruesome details. "I think they took is as a sign and continued the tradition."

"Then why would he make it so she can't have a child?" Again, Lando asks the questions that confuse all of them.

"Anger makes you do unfathomable things." Seb sighs.

~

It doesn’t take long for the computer to charge. Everyone sits at the dining room table as seb opens it up for the first time. All of them are shocked it’s not locked. The man obviously didn’t think it was going anywhere.

Seb looks through some files and they can see him getting paler by the second. “There are videos and pictures on here and a few emails back and forth with a couple people but that’s all.” Then he pales out completely. “Hanna, can you make sure the kids stay upstairs?” Seb turns the computer toward her for a mere second and she looks sick.

“Don’t go too far, please.” She pleads, then hurries off upstairs. It’s an agreement that he’ll stop if he can’t take it. A plea that he won't invade too much of their adoptive daughters' privacy.

“If you guys want to see this that we’ll make so all of us only do this once. Otherwise we can figure it out.”

“What have you seen so far?” Questions Max. His nerves are increasing with every second and his leg is bouncing rapidly underneath the table.

Again, Seb looks like he might vomit. “I’ve already see photos of what they did. It’s not good and she’s completely exposed in most of it.”

All of them collectively swallow.

~

All of them felt sick watching the screen, listening to the screams. They moved past a majority it to the parts where a man (presumably her father) was monologuing.

He wasn’t meant to fall for her. Only meant to do what was necessary and give them a continuing line. When she died prematurely, he went into a completely psychotic state of mind.

Everything they did that involved the mother seemed bad enough. It only escalated for the female that’s currently unconscious.

then he revealed his plan.

Make her strong enough to bring back his beloved. Make sure she can’t have any children so they don’t have a choice if they want to attempt to continue in their faith of these miraculous beings.

And he caught every second of it.

Every ritual.

Every procedure.

Every time they took something from her.

They all felt sick. The rage mixed with violent sickness shaking all the males to their core.

They just want their toy back.

And they wouldn’t rest until they had her back.

~

Next ->

@styles-sunflower @purplephantomwolf @boiohboii @reblog-princess-blog @jjsprobablywrong @jayda12 @faithm120601 @eugene-emt-roe @lpab @yaaadii @80sloverry @spongebeck3101 @eviethetheatrefreak @chanshintien @vellicora @hollie911 @pretty-little-bunny382728

[murumokirby360]

My NVMe Needs - Part 6 (Final): Samsung Magician & HWiNFO Softwares [Apr 25th, 2023]

Hello, April! This is it! Here's final part (Part 6) of my of “My NVMe Needs“ (this time, without my paper dolls 😅). 😊

And in this part, I'm installing two monitoring stats & other memory tool purposes, the Samsung Magician & the HWiNFO. 🙂🖥️⚙️🔢

If you haven't seen my two previous post(s) & other ones (that we're related), then I'll provide some links down below. ↓

• Part 1: Samsung SSD 970 EVO Plus NVMe M.2 SSD (1TB) Review [Apr 7th, 2023]

• Part 2: Thermalright M.2 2280 Pro Review [Apr 11th, 2023]

• Part 3: Installation and trial & error [Recorded on Apr 21st, 2023] (published: Apr 22nd, 2023)

• Part 4: Another Trial & Error [Apr 21st, 2023] (published: Apr 22nd, 2023

• *Part 5: Timing comparison - HDD vs SSD NVMe M.2 Drive [Apr 25th, 2023]*

So, without further ado, let’s get started:

My Recorded & Edited Video (using Filmora 9): (pls watch) ↑ 🎦✏️🖥️

• First off is the "Samsung Magician", a monitoring software tool used for legitimate Samsung memory products exclusively (e.g. QVOs, EVOs, PROs, 870, 970, 980, 990). It'll give information about your recent memory drive stats, test some benchmarks, diagnose your drives, and even link "Data Migration" (software) to form one working software, and so much more to do. One con, I would say is my NVMe didn't recognize the authentication after re-install & restart my PC to unlock the real performance stats. Considering, that my purchased NVMe stick is 100% genuine, I just don't understand what's the situation though. Maybe I'll wait for the future update, soon? Who knows?

BTW: If you want more about it, then please → [CLICK ME!].

• However, there's another software that I can take a deeper look at my NVMe's stats, so let's bring out the "HWiNFO". Unlike "Samsung Magician", this software can monitor pretty much any internal component not just memory-based drives but also Graphics Card, CPU Chip, Motherboard, etc. And also, not just Samsung, but also other brands can recognize, too. Although, it can't do much as the "Samsung Magician", the "HWiNFO" will sense the voltage, rating speed, health, and even temperature of the computer's internal component(s). For instance, my 970 EVO Plus has a decent accuracy of 50°C compared to 51°C from the "Samsung Magician", and so far, no faulty & failure signs of SSD warning. Everyday, I open this monitoring software to check my computer stats just in case someone makes hot during either opening window task(s) or playing PC games. If somethings wrong, then I have to something about it, but as of now, everything seems to be fine.

Overall & Final remarks:

• So far, this is the most ambitious & most satisfying thing I've ever done this year. I've been stuck on physical HD for years. Since 2006, we're always provided physical hard drives as our main source of computer OS & storage purposes. In fact, in my elementary days, I had never seen or heard about "Solid State Drives", I mean nobody uses SSD only rich people can afford the premium SSDs. Nowadays, the SSDs & NVMe we're spread across the globe, and they became the standard of all existing computers. Best of all, random brands are now making cheap SSDs & NVMEs compared to the well-known competitive brands such as Samsung, Adata, Corsair, Western Digital, Sandisk, and more. But, should you buy cheap alternatives or well-known trusted brands? You decide. And let's not forget about the capacity size, they're arranged from less than 64GB of SSDs/NVMEs for a fair cheaper price to the overly expensive price of 1TB to a massive 8TB of SSDs/NVMEs. So, choose wisely if you're planning to get yourself a perfect SSD/NVMe brand(s). And if you're planning to get a NVMe M.2 Drive be sure to purcahse a separate heat sink or a built-in counterpart.

• But, as for me, I purchased Samsung SSD 970 EVO Plus & the Thermalright M.2 2280 Pro Heat Sink separately, and combine these two into one custom. Overall, so far, I am certified as "Worth it" because I dream to get my hands on a high-performance SSD than a slower physical hard drive. And with two monitoring & diagnostic software(s) on my computer, I could always check the stats of my NVMe stick, alongside other functional PC internal components (motherboard, graphics card, etc.). I hope my NVMe stick never dies from my progress.

Well, that's the end of my topic!

If you haven’t seen my previous topic, then I’ll provide some links down below. ↓😉

• Goodbye my old Anker Powerport 2 - Full [Mar 16th, 2023]

Tagged: @lordromulus90, @bryan360, @carmenramcat, @leapant, @rafacaz4lisam2k4, @paektu, @alexander1301

[love-fireflysong]

Okay! Final update (I swear lol) for those who are worried about/invested in my ps4 hard drive issues!

Long story short: my save data is completely unrecoverable. It's gone. I'm completely shit out of luck for recovering pretty much anything on that drive and I have no one to blame but myself.

Learn from my mistakes and take note of these two very important tips I'm about to impart on you.

If you have a ps+ substriction and you turn off the auto upload to the cloud to platinum a game in one playthrough instead of like 3 (like i did) than for the love of all that is holy turn that shit back on the second you finish. I did not do that so all my save data since I finished vampyr a year ago is kaput cause none of that uploaded.

If you start to notice that your ps4 is starting to lag a little bit when on the hud screen or when a game is booting, then that means that hard drive failure is on the horizon and back up your save data ASAP onto a USB drive. My ps4 had been letting me know for weeks now that it was about to bsod me but hindsight is 20/20 as they say 😔

(For those that want to know exactly why all my data is unrecoverable, then all the in depth techy talk about my discoveries over the past couple of days are below the cut)

So first things first: any site or article that promises a way to recover data from a ps4 hard drive is lying through their fucking teeth. Maybe the methods work on an external ps4 hard drive I don't know, but an internal hard drive is GONE baby! Due to the fact that a pc and ps4 format each of their hard drives in completely different ways, neither is readable on the other without reformatting said drive to work. Which *will* completely erase everything that once existed and leave it empty and ready for use. (Which I already knew about going in so I never did that but I figured I would mention just in case someone tries it for themselves)

That being said, lots of programs will scan your hard drive for free and it *is* possible to scan an internal ps4 hdd. It will just appear hidden as a 'lost partition' and unavailable to pick through the files because, once again, the formatting is not native to pcs. BUT, every scan I tried was only able to find *maybe* about 2gb worth of what I knew was a nearly full 500gb hdd.

And while scanning is free, recovering the said files are not. Every program will cost pretty much $100 usd for a months subscription.

And in a test of putting the old hdd into the external hard drive and hooking it up to the ps4 and seeing if i could access my data that way, the answer was also a big fat no. While I did find out that I *could* still use the hard drive as an external if I wanted hilariously enough, it would require me to, once again, reformat the thing so it would work. Also, turns out anyways that a ps4 external hdd only saves the game applications and thats it. No pictures, videos, or save game data: that is all saved to the interior hdd so that method of backing up is a no go sorry to say.

I admittedly have one last method to try, but I don't have high hopes for it though lol. When I next get paid and have money again, I'm gonna call the actual game console repair store that is located in the northern part of my city and see if they can do anything, but I doubt it. Even if they can though, if I'm correct that method will probably cost me like $400 cad to transfer the data to a new hdd that's already formatted to my ps4. Cause it turns out that you can't move hard drives from one console to another, each one is uniquely formatted so putting mine into my roomies would require reformatting the thing so it can be read and used on hers.

But it's my last shot, I just don't have high hopes of it working 😒

[fahrni]

Stream for Mac: Work Note, Menus and More

Yesterday was the second day this week I managed to work on Stream for Mac.

Some things are starting to gel but as is typical I figure something out and run head long into the next thing I need to figure out. It’s all good stuff though! I’m definitely not complaining as I’m learning a lot and at least I should have a solid — very basic — understanding about the assembly of a Mac App when I’m done with this release.

Yesterday I managed to get the File Menu items hooked up and I did a very basic implementation of Import Subscriptions which allows you to import an OPML file of all of your feeds. For the first test the file name was hard wired to a file in the Downloads folder. There was my first challenge. I had to learn a little bit about the sandbox and setup the app to allow for read only access to Downloads, then ask the user for permission to access it. Once that worked I was able to start the import process by stubbing out some of my protocols used by the process and just allowing it to run in the background. It ran to completion and I was able to add an additional 206 feeds to my list. It’s a great way to populate the app!

Next Task

I’m trying to instantiate a class early on in the AppDelegate and I want to pass it down through all the various layers ultimately to the Feed View Controller. That’s where I got stuck once again. That’s ok. I’m learning and I may be doing it wrong. Right now the data I’d like to instantiate at startup is instantiated in the Feed View Controller. The reason I’d like to get it in the App Delegate is I’d like access to it when a menu item is selected. Maybe this is just flat out the wrong way to look at it? I don’t know yet, I’m still trying to decide what’s best.

First off I’m using Storyboards, which is the way the project was created in 2021 when I made the target. So, given that I’d like to programmatically load the WindowController, Window, and finally ViewController myself so I can pass this data all the way down to the ViewController. On iOS it’s a very straight forward process. Load the ViewController and specify the init method you’d like to use and provide parameters. Done, easy.

On the Mac there are two extra layers to go through which has me questioning my whole reason for existence. It seems really dumb to pass through two extra layers just to get to the ViewController. Perhaps I do need to rethink my entire existence? Perhaps I just need to rethink the structure of my existing classes to better accommodate the Mac?

Why, Rob, Why?

I’m doing this because the thing that kicks off the refresh process also takes an instance of a protocol that’s used to update progress of the refresh. It’s what drives the progress indicator you see in the navigation bar of the iOS app.

When someone selects the Refresh menu item it’s handled in the App Delegate. That is removed from the UI where the update needs to happen by two layers; Window Controller and Window.

On iOS the UI interaction is handled by the View Controller which kicks the process off right at that layer and provides an implementation of the progress protocol I’ve defined so the UI updates properly. If I didn’t want to update the UI the way I do it would be much easier. 😃 Perhaps the Mac App should do something different, like display a spinner and disable the refresh buttons and menu item until the process is complete?

Anyway. This is leading me to rethink a lot of my iOS strategies from years and years gone by to better suit the Mac and iOS platforms.

These notes are also really good for me. They help me think through the process as I’m typing and also lead me to say “Rob, you’re doing it wrong” a lot, which is also helpful to my learning process.

Overall I’ve had frustrating moments and really great ah-ha moments and I must say that the Mac and iOS communities have been so supportive of me and my stupid questions.

The Core Intuition Slack has been amazing! Thanks y’all, you know who you are! 🙏🏼

[archerincombat]

What are their majors?

Does Chris exist?

who is roommates with who?

what year are they?

I just love college aus so much and i am always curious about how people interpret characters in that setting.

Ahhh okay okay- this is going to be SUPER long and super specific, sorry!!

Majors:

Okay first, Eddie. Eddie was hard. I thought about making him ROTC but like, no. So, to answer two of your questions at once, I'm going to make Eddie a teacher with a focus on children with disabilities. That's where he meets Chris (who lives with his grandfather Bobby heheh), and the two connect immediately.

Eddie's putting himself through college, which is why he's an RA. But he also works weekends at a local coffee shop (yes I am merging a coffee shop AU into this college AU). Buck is a frequent visitor.

Buck is a marine biologist and you will not change my mind. He got caught in a tsunami over the summer before his freshman year, but he never even thought about changing his major. He's obsessed with helping animals and the environment. His ADHD definitely gets in the way with school sometimes (and yes, he was prescribed meds, but they make him feel weird and sick and really it only is detrimental to his school life not his personal one, but that's why he's got the best friends). Likes to take a bunch of random classes when they fit though because he just loves learning about things, so he's like...the university cryptid. Everyone feels like they've had at least one class with him.

Hen is Biology (Pre-med, of course!). Do I even need to explain? Doctor Hen my beloved. But, she definitely is minoring in something like woman studies or anthropology so she can get a better understanding of the intersection of culture and being a medical professional in a way that some doctors...don't. Stan Hen.

Chim...Honestly, Chim was kinda hard, and I'm not 100% sure I'm right on this. But Chim as a Comms major just makes sense to me. But like, Digital Comms, so he does social media and website creations and stuff. He's pretty laid-back overall, but this man is obsessed with internships. The annoying (but lovable in Chim's case) person who had an internship every semester and then complained that he had so much work to do.

Albert is 100% undecided. That man doesn't know what he wants to do AT ALL so currently he's taking 1 philosophy class? (it fits my vibe, Chim!) He's taking a Music Production class for sure, and he makes stupid EDM music that drives Ravi insane. And then just a bunch of core classes.

I headcanon Ravi as a linguistics person, idk why. I think he didn't want to become an engineer or doctor (like maybe was expected of him as it is in my South Asian family) but he's still super smart, right? He's taking two language classes and a couple of data science classes, but really he wants to do humanitarian work if he can make a living career out of it. Idk no one but Hen really understands his major, but they all ask him for help studying because he's literally so good at everything? School, check. Sports, check. Social life, A-. He can't sing though, which is fine until someone tells him to shut up in the communal showers.

I'm thinking I'll make Maddie a drop-in character so that she can fall in love with Chim? But she graduated undergrad early and is going to PA (physician's assistant) school.

Roommates:

Buck has rich people money. Yes, he hates his parents, and they suck, but he's got rich people money to put him through college (and if he spends half of it tipping at Eddie's coffee shop, that's his business). So he lives in a dorm room by himself, has his own personal bathroom and everything, ugh. He's neighbors with Eddie though (walls are thin)...

Ravi and Albert are roommates. They can't stand each other, but if you ever bring that up they'll get so offended. (Wtf? Ravi's my best friend, bro).

Eddie's an RA, so he's also got his own room, but he can frequently be found at the apartment off-campus that Chim and Hen share.

Years:

Eddie is a sophomore. Chim and Hen are juniors. Buck and Ravi are freshman. Who knows when Albert will graduate, two years early? Two years late? Who knows.

And yes, I know in canon Albert gets his undergrad in Korea when he's like 16, but I don't want that for him. I want him to be chaotic as he should.

Anyway...hope you had fun reading that LMAO. Feel free to send follow-ups/fix my headcanons.

[silvercrystalwhump]

Little thing based on an idea for Ash

@ashintheairlikesnow owns all of these characters I just an idea one day and decided- Hey I'ma write this. Enjoy

TW: implied noncon, noncon photo taking, general bbu warning, Owen Grant exists

-

Vincent drums his fingers across the wood with nails bitten to near bleeding. A hard drive sits on the table in front of him, almost eating at his eyes by simply existing. It’s red, and the word Memories is written on the side. His eyes bore into the table, wanting the hard drive to combust and leave his life.

“You know I could always see what's on there?”

James, the only person other than his therapist to know about Owen, leans by an open window. The sound of Blue Jays singing outside dances through his words like background music on set. The only reason he had the displeasure of knowing about that migraine-inducing part of his life was that Vincent forgot to watch his liquor intake at an event and vomited out his entire life story to James in one night. Needless to say, he woke up the next morning with a hangover that could kill god and a very concerned James who knew too much.

Vincent shakes his head, “I am fairly certain I know what's on this, I don’t want you seeing that.”

James doesn’t respond, ��I have an incinerator at home. You can just get rid of it there.”

“If it’s not I’ll be destroying something I actually like.”

Vincent did not even know why he had him come over. After he saw the handwriting he just went on autopilot. “Could you drive down about five minutes down, there’s this small coffee place that makes pecan pie flavored coffee, can you go get me some?”

“Sure,” James says, “Do you want me to go so you can do this alone and I can come back later or?”

“No, I just need you out of the house for maybe 15 minutes, it’s not like you probably have already figured out what I think is on this hard drive.”

James shrugs, “You want something to eat too?”

“I’m not hungry.”

Vincent hears James’ keys jungle quietly and the door opens. He can hear his footsteps walk down his porch. As he listens to James’ car start, Vincent puts his head in his hands. His finger knit into his hair and closes, threatening to rip the follicles right from his skull. I really don’t want to see this. He exhales as he hears the car pull out of the driveway and his gate slide closed.

Inhale, he closes his eyes and fumbles the hard drive into the laptop. Then, exhaling, he opens his eyes.

USP Pot In-Use. Transfer 486 GB of data onto this device?

Half a terabyte of data just sitting on a hard drive. A hard drive that was in the button of one of Vincent’s bags for months. Vincent starts to chew on the inside of his cheek, hands trembling near the mouse pad.

Yes.

Not enough storage for transfer. Preview file?

Yes.

A handful of files transfer to his laptop. Some files were named with dates, some with pet names, some with actual event titles but all were photos. Vincent closes his eyes and opens one simply labeled Coffee. The actual photo itself is just him sitting in one of his old dressing rooms back when working with Owen. There is a blurry spot in the upper left-hand corner of the photo. This was definitely Owen’s phone. Owen’s phone always had a blurry spot in the upper left-hand corner no matter how much Owen wiped it off.

The photo looks like it was taken at an awkward angle. Vincent pinched the bridge of his nose and mutters, “So he stalked me long before the incident, I stopped working there months before it happened.” The other handful of photos are similar; pictures were taken without Vincent noticing, usually at work. The last one was in his own house, but it was during a party he remembered that he invited Owen to.

Then a video pops up only labeled with a date.

Vincent reaches up and mutes his computer, and slowly presses play on the video. It starts with Owen muttering something before sticking his phone up and peering through a window. The video is of Vincent sleeping, and it lasts for nearly 30 minutes before the phone is dislodged, and the video finishes.

The next set of photos and videos are dated during his time with Owen.

He gets through three before rushing to the bathroom to puke.

-

When James gets back, Vincent has seen enough. He was right. It was Owen’s hard drive, and somehow he got a hold of it. James hands Vincent the coffee and the bag.

“I’m not gonna lie, I kinda forgot what you said about food so I just got you a scone since I was listening to the radio talk about the new federal policy on box boys.”

Vincent took a sip of the coffee and raised an eyebrow at James, “Something changed?”

“The emancipation law, it was signed by the president a week ago and the changes went into effect today,” James says as he sips his own coffee, “If you own a box boy for over a year and they meet a handful of prerequisites you can emancipate them and give them legal citizenship.”

“I honestly thought it would get shot down.”

“Well since the senator that was so against it was voted out this election no one else has objected,” James says, and he pulls up his phone, “Well the owner has to be the one to sign them for emancipation. Senator Grant was her name wasn’t it?”

Vincent takes a bite out of the scone. He swallows both the scone and a thought.

“Does it say anything about private transfer?”

“I think you just have to have their papers. Why?”

Vincent looks down at his food, and an idea pops into his head, “What’s Senator Grant doing now since she’s not in office.”

James shrugs, “Let me see if anyone said anything?” He taps on his phone, the little buzzes echo around the room like flies to trash. James pauses, “I’m pretty sure she’s just at home preparing for the next election why?”

“I think I might need you to help me make a phone call.”

-

Weeks later, Vincent paces, listening to James talk on the phone in the other room. He could not physically hear Owen’s voice through the phone without falling apart.

“That’s my ear,” James says sarcastically, “Do you agree with this or not?”

Silence.

Click.

James knocks on the half-open door, “You alright Vincent?”

“Are you done?” Vincent asks, tighter than a spring.

James nods, “After the screaming he agreed, do you want me to go over with the papers so you don’t have to see them?”

“Please, I’m more than likely already going to have to be on a phone call with his Mother and that's stressful enough.”

Vincent opens the door of his study and steps out, “I need a drink.”

“It's noon Vincent.”

Vincent has one hand on the liquor cabinet and chuckles dryly, “Perfect.”

‘Vincent, no.”

Making dead eye contact with James, he pulls a bottle of sweet tea vodka out of the cabinet and pours himself a glass. James sighs and shakes his head, “I thought Dr. Brycan told you not to drink.”

“He said that I need to wait until at least noon since I used to drink from dawn until dusk unless I had work, it’s 12:01.”

“Didn't you tell me that you’re probably going to get a phone call from the ex-Senator today,” James says, stepping back, “I think you want to wait at least until then so you're sober when you two talk.”

Vincent pauses with the glass halfway to his lips. He sets it down just hard enough to hear it but not hard enough to crack the crystal. Vincent grumbles, “Fine,” and walks back for his study to wait by the phone.

-

“You do know this is blackmail, Vincent,” Mrs. Grant grinds through the phone, “And that is illegal.”

“So is paying off someone to hide criminal charges. He either takes the deal or I take this half terabyte hard drive filled with evidence to court and get the press involved, his decision.”

“How much do you have to pay you,” she says after a moment.”

“No amount of cash will buy me over, he either takes the deal or I contact my manager.”

Silence through the phone. Vincent’s nails dig into his jeans. The woman on the other end of the line can’t see the tears pouring down Vincent’s face. One thing acting taught him was how to keep his voice steady for clarity in a microphone. The only difference here is that the microphone is in a phone rather than on a long stick.

“We’ll think about it,” she finally says.

“You have until Sunday.”

“Fine.”

Click.

Vincent holds the phone up to his ear for a second before dropping it onto the table. His head falls into his hands, and he sobs. His mind, blank yet filed with too many feelings, recoils under its own weight. Tears that had been held back for months spill across contract papers and blot through blank ink. The ink spread like blood across bed sheets.

-

“Are you sure you don’t want me to knock his teeth in?” James asks as he holds the contract and transfers forms in one hand and a Sprite in the other, “Because I will and want to.”

Vincent shakes his head, fingers drumming across the velvet seats of the limousine he almost forgot he had. When did I even buy this was the first thought he had when he dug through contacts. “No, just go inside, get him to fill out the forms, and come back. Then we go home and I gorge myself on M&Ms and fudge ice cream.”

James laughs, “Room numbers on the card right?”

“Yes.”

-

James steps out of the car. The condominium looms over the limousine, and James bites through white-knuckled rage as he steps into the lobby.

Guess who’s standing there waiting for him, Owen Grant, and his mother. James steps up to them, “Grant, correct?”

Owen looks surprised and gives James a quick not-so-subtle scan, “Are you who Vince sent, I thought he was coming?”

“Do I really need to explain why that will never happen?”

Mrs. Grant gives James a glare to rival the sun’s wrath on gingers. The demeanor shifts almost instantly to a more business appeal, “Well allow us to get this paperwork sorted out as painlessly as possible.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

How long does it take to sign papers? James thinks as he watches Owen go through the forms. These are pre-filled out records; he just needs to sign in three spots. Pen scratches against the paper, Owen’s friendly demeanor evaporated when he reached the final form.

“Why this of all things?” he grinds out.

Neither of the two people answers him. Owen finally tosses the form and an orange file in James’ direction. “All of Kauri’s paperwork; if Vince needs anything else, he’ll have to contact WRU directly.”

James scoops the papers off the table, flipping through them; he looks to make sure Owen didn’t deliberately miss any signatures. An extra envelope sits in the orange file. James pulls it free and waves it in Owen’s face.

“What’s this?”

Owen, stupidly, answers, “A goodbye letter since I just filled out a no contact agreement, I want to give my final goodbyes if you will.”

James rips open the envelope and takes out the letter but keeps in anything that may be important.

“That’s for Vincent’s eyes only!” Owen snaps.

“And that hard drive was for your eyes only wasn’t it? I got Vincent’s consent to look through these forms.”

Owen and his mother glare daggers at James as he tosses the letter back onto the table, “Goodbye.”

James can still feel Owen’s teeth grinding gaze on his back as the door closes behind him.

-

Jake answers the door, “Hello Vincent.”

“Is Kauri here?” Vincent asks as his fingers shift around the orange folder.

“Depends,” Jake says, leaning against the door frame, “What do you want?”

Vincent sighs, “I called Natalie yesterday and---”

“Just let him in,” Kauri’s voice echoes from inside the safe house, “Let’s just get this over with.”

Jake pierces his lips and steps out of the way. Vincent steps past him and enters the safe house. Natalie had told him to make things as quick as possible, and if Kauri told him to leave, he would. Vincent agreed. Now he simply hoped that he would be able to get this across without being told to leave.

Kauri steps around the corner, a look of tired anger sits behind his eyes.

“Kauri I’m so---”

“Skip the bullshit, Nat said this would be quick.”

Vincent nods and forces the new wave of guilt back into his stomach, “A few days ago, I was able to… convince Owen to transfer ownership of you to me. I want to ask if I can transfer you to anyone else for your own security, so you are entirely out of Owen’s grabbing range.

Kauri stands there with an expression of absolute disbelief. Then, finally, he opens his mouth to speak before stammering, “I said quick but not one sentence, elaborate.”

“Well, to put it in simply I was going through some of my old stuff from during the incident. I found a hard drive with nearly half a terabyte of… evidence that could be used against Owen,” Vincent says as his shoulder tense at memories he wishes to be buried. “A friend of mine brought up the new box boy emancipation law and after that I got an idea. This friend, who I vomited out my entire life story to black out drunk, was willing to help be the liaison between Owen and me. After a telephone call between Mrs. Grant and I, we got the papers signed and so now I have all of your paperwork under my name.”

“Okay?” Kauri says with disbelief still in his tone in tiny blips, “Then why are you talking to me, just leave me alone and I won’t have to worry about Owen.”

Vincent chews at the inside of his cheek, “Here’s the thing, what I did is, in the eyes of the law, black mail. While he could be charged with the same thing, if he took me to court one of the first assets taken for compensation are box boys. So, you could stay under my name but I don’t trust that he won’t try to get you back by either suing or doing something. My question now is, is there someone who you trust enough for me to transfer your ownership form to.”

Kauri pauses. The gears shift in his head for a moment before he looks past Vincent and back at Jake. The widest shit-eating grin nearly splits Kauri’s face in half. He looks over Vincent’s shoulder and laughs, “Hey Jake, want your own Romantic?”

Vincent looks over his shoulder and sees a very exasperated, tired, and just downright flustered Jake.

“I- um- Kauri- I- please don’t wrd it like that, that makes me sound terrible.”

“And.”

“I- mean in order to keep Owen away from you then yes I will but please don’t,” Jake stampers, “I don’t and won’t own you.”

Kauri pushes past Vincent and boops Jake on the nose, “Congrats you get your own boxie.”

“Kauri, please.”

Vincent clears his throat and interrupts, “While I am used to being third wheel um I know you all want me out of your hair so I have the forms with me and after they are signed I will do the heavy lifting with WRU.”

After a second, Kauri chuckles before walking away. Jake just watches as he leaves, a sigh escaping his lips, “He is never going to let me live that down.”

“If you don’t want to-”

“No no,” Jake says, “I will, he's just teasing. What do I have to sign?”

[keltonwrites]

I'm not sure if that's a good thing

“Well you’re definitely the first.” This past week, we screened-in the eastern facing porch on the side of the cabin. The porch slopes to the South, with the brick-on-dirt floor crumbling in that direction as well until it reaches uneven slabs of stone acting as steps down to the “yard” below. A mixed material retaining wall wraps beneath the steps to the south facing garage, holding up one corner of the narrow deck on the front of the house. The deck, in the heat of a high altitude summer, droops off the house like it’s daydreaming about the winter snow’s embrace. It’s safe to sit on, though I would not recommend leaning on the railing.

The side porch takes the brunt of the wind. Our wooden rocking chairs have been rocked some 20 feet into the yard more than once in the two months we lived here. In the myriad of threats we heard about the weather, most people included the wind. We all know how I feel about this ongoing weather intimidation tactic. I asked, “what speed are the gusts?” “Oh, they get up to 70 miles per hour on some days.” This was the first quantifiable piece of weather information someone had offered — an actual number we could react to with data and our historical personal experiences of various weather events. And our reaction was: uhhhh…. OK???? Look, I get it. No one’s preaching the skin benefits of -20 degree wind gusts at 70 mph, building snow drifts against your house in the span of minutes that Cooper could die in. I am not going to pretend that’s pleasant. But 70 mph? Any wind I’ve driven faster than does not intimidate me. I used to rally the horses at 12 years old in winds over 70mph to get them in the barn before the latest tornado whipped through. I helped shutter the resort in the BVI as the Category 5 hurricane rolled in. Even in Topanga, 70 mile per hour gusts were not uncommon in Santa Ana events. We had our single pane windows shatter more than once from debris in the wind. We taped cardboard up and went to sleep. That “70 mph” was all I needed to hear to confirm our next project: we were going to build a catio for these cats, and we were going to do it on the pre-existing porch structure to save time and money. We spent a week framing out the structure. We had to carve into the logs of the house to embed the wood supports for the framing.

And from there, every piece of wood was custom carved and cut to fit around the existing timber supports. The existing porch was so wildly uneven that there are gaps between each piece of old wood and the new framing. Our plan is to mix all the wood chips from the project with mortar/chinking and stuff the gaps — a good solution for the log cabin look. We built a plywood pony wall up to 28 inches from the interior of the porch, which gives a height of ~4-5ft from the exterior ground below. It’s capped with a 2x6” railing for even the fluffiest of cats to find a perch. The exterior will be wrapped with corrugated metal that we’ll quick-age to match the metal that wraps the bottom of the cabin. On the interior of the porch, we’ll use shiplap to hide the framing.

The screens themselves can withstand winds up to 120 mph, but to-be-determined if they can hold the weight of a growing maniac cat who has already tried to climb them. In the event the screens succumb to cat (or wind or snow or neighbor judgment) we’ll reinforce with metal mesh. We’re going to maintain this screen porch regardless of what the screen is. We had the pleasure of running into one of our more industrious neighbors the other day, and Ben asked him, “hey we’re building a screen porch. Is this a terrible idea?” He laughed. “Well you’re definitely the first.” But he liked it. Great way to diminish wind into the house. Simple way to regulate the temperature with massive south-facing windows. And indeed a practical outdoor safe haven for cats in predator territory. Just because you’re the first doesn’t mean you’re foolish — just foolhardy. There’s plenty of that here. This town has the typical mountain town’s truncated version of a colonizers’ history: “established 1881.” But it was plenty established prior to that by the Uncompahgre Band of the Ute Nation, removed by the U.S. Army on September 7, 1881, nearly 140 years ago. The government relocated the Uncompahgre Ute People to Utah, and one year after the Ute were forcibly removed from their ancestral land, San Miguel County split off from Ouray County and was made its own political subdivision in the newly-formed State of Colorado. In 1879, the ore-laden valley already had 50 people living in it, with a new narrow gauge railway only 2 miles away. By 1885, it was a town of 200 people. There was a hotel, a couple saloons, a pool hall. Winters were treacherous; the valley was and is prone to avalanches. But where there’s gold, there’s gumption. The power needed to run the stamp mill to process ore drove innovation. Timber was scarce at such high elevations, so a wood powered steam mill wouldn’t cut it. But the San Miguel River just a few miles down from the mine looked promising. Thus began the development and construction of the Ames Hydroelectric Generating Plant. It was a hit. In fact, it was so successful that the Ames Plant led to the adoption of alternating currents at Niagara Falls and eventually to being adopted worldwide as a viable power solution. The plant remains, but the gold rush obviously didn’t. By 1940, the U.S. Census declared this little town I call home as tied for the lowest population in the country: 2 people. By 1960, it was one of four incorporated towns in the U.S. with no residents. But the joke was on the Census — the town’s single resident was just out of town the day the census came through. 1960 population: 1. By 1980 the population grew to 38, 69 in 1990, and about 180 now. (Plus 51 dogs according to the town’s website.) With modern amenities, it’s easier to be here. Studded snow tires, satellite internet, solar panels, instant coffee. No matter the hardships, there’s the reality of the present. In the 1880s, as the town boomed, the Ouray Times declared, “it will be at no distant day a far more pretentious town than it is now.” That day hasn’t exactly arrived, but I guess it depends on what you consider pretentious. I don’t think the town claims any airs of excellence beyond what’s true. In fact, the town hardly claims anything at all. There’s no sign indicating it’s even here. There’s just the old side and the new side. The new side, the Eastern half, was drawn out in the early 1990s, some 100 years later, and is separated from the Old Town by an avalanche zone—preserved open space for hiking in the summer, preserved open space for surviving in the winter. The town forbids short-term rentals, no one has a fence, dogs roam free, and all the houses have that cabin look to them. A boulder nests in a grove near a trailhead in the center of town with a plaque paying respect to the Utes who called this valley home. There’s no industry here. No businesses allowed. If you want a $7 latte, you can drive the 14 miles required to get it, assuming there’s not an avalanche blocking your path. You can, however, buy a pink lemonade in a

solo cup at the permanent lemonade stand run by the local feral child mafia. Crystals (rocks) can be purchased for an additional cost. We bought one, hoping to buy favor at the same time. The town plan has a few guiding principles, and it’s all in the name of preservation. We must preserve: 1 - the quiet atmosphere 2 - the rustic character 3 - the natural setting

And finally: 4 - protect the health and wellbeing of the people here No snowmobiles, no ATVs, no drones. In fact, the only sign of the outside world here are the passers-through. When you take the dirt road through town to the end, you enter National Forest, and you can hike over the pass saddle at nearly 12,000 feet before descending down the other side into Silverton. The pass road climbs rutted through an aspen forest before scaling across a scree field and then lurching over to the other side. Every day, it seems like 30 or so Texans and Arizonans in lifted and loud Jeeps with unused mods climb over this mountain in the comfort of their air conditioning, simply to drive down the other side. You could hike it, ride it, run it, and ski it, but they don’t. They rev their engines, kicking up dust in a town of feral children and roaming dogs, staring at us instead of waving. I’ve lived here for two months and look how salty I am. I’ll fit in yet. But today, there is a temperature that whispers of perfect trails and the dwindling of ogglers driving 35 in a 15. It’s already snowed in the mountains we see from our kitchen. Today, like a dedication to the Septembers of our youth, you can feel a chill in the air. A temperature akin to pencils and sweaters and reinventing yourself. A temperature that doesn’t exactly sing “screen porch” but could if you had the right slippers on. That’s what I did this morning: put my slippers on and sat there in the cool mountain morning air, thinking about the cemetery behind our house, about the Ute tribe, about the miners, about the mailman who died on Christmas in 1875 on the pass, about the 5 people who died in avalanches here just last year, about the people in their cars on their phones driving through, and all the people who’s very first question to us was, “so are you gonna live here part-time or full-time?” Maybe it will be a hard place to live. But at least we’ll have a screen porch.

Every week I'm writing about moving to log cabin in a small town at 10,000 feet. Subscribe here for free: tinyletter.com/keltonwrites

[mtraki]

Brain chemistry is messing with me... got me in the bad feels looking at dark roads... So let’s try and drag ourselves out of it through hyperfixation!  It’s time to rant about Agent 47′s brain chemistry-- specifically all the serums and antidotes that artificially change it! (It’s a rant... I won’t take up space on your dashboard scroll if you don’t want to see it, but if you do, please check out under the cut.  Spoilers for the comics and Hitman Season 2-3 are unmarked...)

The focus of the rant is thus: “Exactly what did Ether’s antidote do?” ‘That’s easy, MT,’ I hear you tell me, ‘It brought back 47′s memories that were wiped by Ort-Meyer before he escaped the lab.’ Forgive me, strawman Reader, (but as always, thank you for your faithful engagement) but I don’t think it’s that simple...  Maybe because I overthink things, or maybe because the details aren’t adding up... Let’s discuss. In the cutscene in HITMAN 2 (Hitman Season 2) ‘Long Shot’, Olivia and Lucas provide a syringe from Ether Biotech Corporation.  According to their information, Ort-Meyer’s estate and his research were granted to the corporation (through Providence) after his passing.  The syringe is supposed to be an antidote to what Ort-Meyer used to wipe 47′s memory.  Using the syringe, 47 is able to remember Janus, the first Constant of Providence, so they can go get his info on the Partners... and kill him. ‘Yes, MT,’ you say, ‘so it’s easy.  The answer is right there.’ Well, please bear with me... In the next cutscene ‘Gifts and Curses’, our leading ladies Diana and Olivia are doing the real work (tracking Janus’s coffin) while our lads are being moody.  Lucas asks 47 if he’s all right and 47 says, “It comes back in flashes.  Fear.  Anger.  But like it happened to someone else.” Later, in ‘Precautions’, Lucas and Diana talk about how Lucas has feelings about the things he’s done, and 47 does not-- a parallel is drawn between these feelings and “having a conscience”. In ‘The Ark Society’ mission, on the Isle of Sgàil, as you’re marching Arthur Edwards, the Constant you are abducting, to the harbor, he’ll fish around for information by giving some of his own.  For the purposes of my rant, there is an exchange I want to focus on: Edwards: “...Your murdered him [Janus] to get to me.” 47: “Not just that.  He had it coming.” Edwards: “Interesting.  It was my impression that you were cured of such... sentiment.  The ‘good doctor’ built his serum specifically to target the seats of your emotions.  Has Miss Burnwood’s sense of justice rubbed off on you, I wonder?” This is where I feel the need to stop and point out that there are TWO DIFFERENT SERUMS at play here, that were forced on 47 at TWO DIFFERENT TIMES in his forgotten past.  This is shown in the comic series. SERUM #1) This serum was given in 1989, after 47 and 6 failed to take over the Institute.  47 sacrificed himself so 6 could escape (though he was presumed dead) and instead of being killed like he expected, due to pressure from Janus (who spoke as Constant for the Partners of Providence) Ort-Meyer instead used a serum to stifle his and the remaining clones’ emotions.  This one was an injection to the neck (like the antidote).  Here are his exact words: “I gave you something most people lack: a true purpose.  And you cast it aside.  For some misguided dream of freedom.  Why?” “It’s that storm inside you.  All those feelings I fought so hard to lock away.  Raging, driving you.  So now I must wipe them out entirely.  A small chemical insult designed to target the amygdala, the hypothalamus, the cingulate gyrus.  The seats of emotion.  I’ve just sawed the legs off them.  Do you understand, 47?” “Your memories remain intact.  But now they’re a series of events with no significance.” The effects of this serum were devastating.  With the singular exception of 47, every other clone more or less lost the will to live.  They died of starvation, dehydration, infected bed sores... losing any and all motivation for anything.  Meanwhile, 47 became an apex predator of murder, stating that the opportunity to complete the assassinations handed down by Providence through Ort-Meyer were the reason he went through each day.  He had a hand in the deaths of a good number of clones, either via poisoning or smothering. SERUM #2) This serum was given in 1998 (that’s nine years after the first one) after Providence demands Ort-Meyer give them 47 as the only success of his very expensive perceived failure.  Ort-Meyer gives this serum, without the permission of Providence, very specifically so that 47 will not remember him to assassinate him.  This serum is given orally, and through a hose and pump apparatus.  Here are his exact words: “I only need one more day, and a moment alone.” (This is included strictly to point out that 47 must have escaped that exact same day) “I raised you as my own.  Taught you everything you needed to thrive in this fallen world.  And now I have to take it all away.  You would come after me.  It’s the only way I can be free from having to watch over my shoulder for the rest of my life.  It feels like drowning at first.  Don’t struggle.  I’m going to make you perfect.  Now you have all the potential in the world.” 47 wakes up later to the voice of Ort-Meyer over the intercom.  He implicitly trusts the voice, as he knows nothing else.  He knows about the existence of nothing outside of the room and the voice.  He starts making associations as he goes on, and points out that he understands how some things work (”The mechanics of breathing, the science that makes remotely operated restraints possible.”) and the justifications behind their existence (”Somewhere deep down, I even understand the need for them.”).  As he makes his escape, he observes that their is familiarity in the sensations of killing.  Out in the world, he continues killing on his own for about a year, claiming that his work is his only indulgence and that he doesn’t need things, friends, or stories.  He does also claim to have a few stray memories that haunt him-- elicit emotional responses in him (which we also see in Absolution with the whole “doctors” flashbacks). Edwards should not know about the mind-wiping, and his dialogue does not betray that he does.  Lucas apparently knows about both, but I’m going to attribute this to “Lucas became personally invested in learning what happened to 47 specifically after learning he was alive and working for ICA, so put the pieces together once he stole the data from Providence” because he wasn’t around for either serum.  Meanwhile, Edwards doesn’t have many reasons to worry about 47 until he starts trying to use his past as a lure for Diana.  Because his angle is to eventually reveal that it was 47 (AND 6... they were on the job together, per the comics) who killed her parents, and the fact that that juicy reveal would hurt that much more if he could reveal it as something 47 knowingly hid from her... I don’t think he’d go out of his way to discredit Janus’s reporting on the situation that only the first serum was given, and something else happened that allowed 47 to escape into the wild.  Janus is apparently Edwards’s beloved mentor, after all. ‘MT,’ I hear you say, ‘You’re rambling.  What’s the point here?’ The point is that 47, a man who does not mince words, makes the observation, when asked, that he remembers fear and anger.  These are the things that stand out to him in his memories.  The emotions.  This is in violation of the first serum’s properties as well as the second. Now, why is this happening?  Perhaps the first serum has an effective lifespan, and perhaps it’s wearing off.  Perhaps 47′s human (arguably superhuman, per some sources) brain is adapting to make necessary associations despite the “chemical insult”. Or... was this antidote supposed to also be an antidote for the first serum?  It is noteworthy that 47 starts behaving in ways that suggest more emotionally-driven motivations after the antidote is given-- at least it seems that way to me.  This seems especially the case at the very end of HITMAN 3 (Season 3), ‘Untouchable’, when 47 is confronted with his guilt, with his feelings about what he perceives Diana’s thoughts and feelings to be, and with his choice in the end concerning Edwards in the final confrontation.  No matter what he chooses, he owns his choice and all the baggage and consequences that come with it.  At the very end, in the cutscene 'New Deal', he tells Diana that he isn’t ‘Agent 47′ anymore.  That he chooses this path because he can. Perhaps I’m very much misunderstanding the themes, here, but 47 not remembering his past never struck me as something that held him back from choosing something else.  It has always been his inability to connect with others in any way outside of infiltrating their spaces and killing them... with very, very few exceptions... that has kept him from choosing a path outside of murder-for-hire (perfectly executed, of course ;) )  So I’m left at the end with the conclusion that 47 is now able to operate as his own conscience because he now has a... mostly usable independent sense of morality-- which requires a certain level of empathy. So... again: what’s the deal with the antidote?  Is it two-in-one?  This would be fine, (Okay, not really, I would then have to rant about how this only makes sense as a convenient plot device because for which person BESIDES Agent 47 would such an antidote be useful unless they also work with the first serum... and oh boy IMPLICATIONS... I know we keep crashing their stock but can we crash their production too?) except the antidote is only referenced as working to return 47′s memory... and his ‘warmer’ dialogues through the end of 2 and into 3 with his allies is simply treated as matter of course-- nobody points it out. I don’t know if this is a problem with my perspective, the writing, or what... But it seems like Lucas knows and doesn’t know about both serums at the same time (he comments specifically about 47 remembering things... but not him behaving more emotionally engaged)... Or like the games smooshed both serums together while the comics had them separate.  This isn’t like the whole “we don’t talk about Absolution though we do wink and nod that it mostly happened in canon” thing.  The comics were written as a companion for the HITMAN: World of Assassination trilogy! I know how I’m treating it for 'Monstrous’ (because if I don’t, I’ll go crazy and rage-quit the fic) but it still bothers me...  Anybody got any ideas?  Nuggets of lore I missed?  Am I the only one stressing out about this??

[6ad6ro]

there's a lot of posts about piracy going around rn. so here's mine:

anti-piracy arguments are almost always classist. you shouldn't need to be rich to be happy. we were all born into capitalism. it's not voluntary. many of us don't have parents or other support networks keeping us afloat. poor people still deserve to have nice things. i could care less about keeping a system running smoothly that keeps most people poor and only few people rich.

if you work a shitty, low-paying job, then a simple monthly streaming service fee is YES actually too much to ask. no i don't care if your fav big company loses "potential" money from people who couldn't afford to buy them to begin with.

if there wasn't such a thing as "poverty"? if people could generally AFFORD to go out and easily get the things they want and need? obviously piracy wouldn’t be much of an issue at all. it's always frustrating to hear anti-piracy arguments from people who ignore how CRAZY expensive cost of living has become. again, usually the biggest anti-piracy peeps are either naive rich kids (who have things paid for), rich ppl who STAY rich by keeping things broken like they are, and the poor people they’ve brainwashed into being submissive hosts to their parasitic behavior.

in a world like this, where people are overworked and tired? with very few tangible goals available in their future? people NEED entertainment to stay sane. it's literally a mental health issue. yes, in a way, you NEED that funny show to inspire yourself to keep going. that game you can't afford otherwise? will help you relax after a hard day. don't let some disney mouthpiece tell you shouldn't download lion king if it'd help calm you down, especially when the people running that company could probably afford to have a private zoo in their backyard.

there's ALSO the big issue of control. as companies move further and further into streaming and cloud technologies? ownership has become a huge issue. greedy companies are finding more and more ways to nickel and dime people over long periods of time rather than get a one-time fee. it makes them more money, they don't have to actually GIVE customers anything (copies of data are free to them). and customers are left with nothing to show for it after-the-fact. this means that even though entertainment is being produced way more than the past? i’d argue people have LESS access to the entertainment they want for how much they’re paying. because it’s all temporary.

drm and limited use is becoming a norm. meaning? it's harder and harder for people to "own" their favorite things even if they COULD afford it. your favorite movie might simply cease to exist in 20 years. your favorite game might become nothing but a fragmented memory.

"piracy" solves this. backups. ownership. it takes control away from companies who abused that power. and puts it back in your hands. when nintendo stopped making their back catalogue available? and went around shutting down all the emulation sites? i was thankfully in the clear. because i download and archived many of my favorite things. in many cases i own cartridges of my favorite games already? but those can break, or in my case, get caught in a flood. but due to piracy, i can still play "mario 64" to pull myself away from suicidal thoughts. and i'm not limited by nintendo randomly deciding to remove it from the switch store and take the cartridges off of store shelves? in order to drive up their yearly profit via copycatting the methods used for the "disney vault" scam (look it up).

i am someone who tends to enjoy things from other countries. but it can be INCREDIBLY restrictive to try to go through "official" channels attempting to pay for them. if i want that old, relatively unpopular 80s japanese prog rock album? i'm just stuck. i HAVE to hope someone is sharing it online. but this often applies to new things as well. "licensing" is generally INCREDIBLY stupid, especially when it comes to other regions. do you REALLY want simple licensing issues to stand between you and your potential new favorite anime? and in many cases, the distributors just don't care enough to make the thing available globally. and no, i don't think this should mean we all just "miss out".

one of the biggest issues we are experiencing online at the moment? is one of censorship. governmental censorship, religious censorship, and maybe worst of all? corporate censorship. i'm not talking about "bring back racist imagery" etc (but that DOES play a part). i'm more talking... rewriting history. edits. removal. for example, it shouldn't be left to some corporation to decide whether or not a sex scene in a movie is deemed "too racy" for today's audience. if somebody creates an amazing album, but then commits some awful unrelated act later, that shouldn't mean that album should be made unavailable. in many cases, old media can even TEACH us what NOT to do. we gain nothing by erasing history. and corporations are never doing it to be moral. they're only following required guidelines in order to maximize profit. “fake showings of morality” to keep up appearances and keep all potential buyers buying. piracy can give you the OPTION of access to unedited works, or things that have been removed from circulation.

piracy can negate corporate control and artificial-scarcity. create opportunities for absorbing other culture's art without having to deal with availability issues in your country. it circumvents corporate and governmental censorship. and helps you archive the art that makes your life worth living.

finally... the "but it's stealing and stealing is wrong" argument is invalidated by the fact that, by ANY moral compass? these companies are STEALING from US. constantly. by a LOT. look at the way any big company is run. the way it leeches off of it's customer base. the offshore tax havens... does THAT seem okay to YOU?! if someone went around stealing all the food and locking it up, would you REALLY consider "breaking in" to get some so that u didn't starve as "stealing"? don't pretend that you don't NEED escapism and entertainment to get by. you know that you do.

the only people that piracy COULD hurt? is small, independent artists. who, if you actually listen to them, would rather you send them money directly? or buy merch. etc. because companies usually take SUCH an awful cut that it’s better to find alternate ways of supporting them. if you use reasonable context with what you decide to download and share? it’s fine! like i might buy a depeche mode vinyl or two? or a shirt. or go to a concert. but i’ll pirate that $1000 rare box set. because i just can’t AFFORD that kind of excess. and my income doesn’t dictate how big of a fan i am of their music. as long as you chip in when you can to your favorite creators? it’s actually fine. if i didn’t pirate, i wouldn’t be into 95% of the artists i’m currently into. i’ve spent so much on media that it’s almost embarrassing... my argument might not be entirely black and white? but i can safely say that piracy’s positives GREATLY outweigh it’s negatives. most research done has shown time and time again that it doesn’t really hurt creators. if anything, it’s the way greedy companies REACT to the idea of file sharing that hurts those creators. it really is an argument of big corporations trying to make sure they keep ALL the money. and it has almost nothing to do with art or artist’s rights. so please keep sharing everything. download away. for the sake of your own sanity, and generations down the line. because corporations don’t care about you. they don’t care about artists. and they don’t care about maintaining easy access to the art. they just want money, regardless of the cost to everyone else’s happiness. and if you can afford to PAY for it regularly? you should consider yourself very lucky. so maybe stop shitting all over poor people who unfairly have less access to what you already have. everybody deserves to be happy.

[five-rivers]

Interview With a Ghost (part 3: Break)

(PART 1) (PART 2)

.

.

.

The call came shortly after Danny had informed Tucker of his (disastrous) interview with the police and had left to go fight a giant bird ghost that had made its way to Elmerton. That bird wouldn't know what hit it. Well, it would know that Danny hit it, presumably, but not that Danny was hitting it so hard due to repressed anxiety regarding his body and the fact the police had it.

Tucker had been, as it so happened, waiting for the call.

"Hey, Sam," he said, not bothering to so much as look at the caller ID.

"So, Danny's gotten himself into a mess."

"Yep," said Tucker. "A pretty big one. Not all his fault, though."

"He did make it worse."

"Yeah. What are we going to do about it?"

"How do you feel about breaking and entering?"

"You're going to have to be more specific," said Tucker. He rolled over on his bed to stare at the ceiling. "We do that pretty frequently."

"The city morgue. ME's office, specifically."

"There'll be guards," said Tucker, "what with the rumors and all."

"I've got the Box Ghost in my thermos. He's a good distraction."

"Transport?"

"Working on it. You'll take care of the security cameras and locks?"

"As long as they're digital," said Tucker, pulling up his data on the city cameras as they spoke. "The outside ones are, but I don't know about the insides. There might be analog machines in there. Tapes. Can't do anything to anything not on a network."

"I know, I know. Hey, maybe you could send a text to whoever's supposed to be guarding it tonight? Get them to leave?"

"Mmm. Maybe. If I could figure out who that would be."

"That could backfire, though," said Sam. "If they don't send messages like that. Sorry, I'm just thinking out loud."

Tucker pulled up a building map in another window. "I think we'll probably need more than just us, though. Remember the first time we had to move... it?"

"Yeah, but who else are we going to get to do this?"

"Jazz, maybe? She has a car, too. She can be transportation."

"Tucker, we're not looping Danny in on this. Do you really think that Jazz is going to be any more cool with this than Danny?"

"I don't know, Jazz can be pretty savage when it comes to protecting Danny."

The phone made Sam's considering hum crackle with static. "We do need transport," said Sam.

"Yeah. What were you looking into for that, anyway?"

"Ugh. Cult connections."

"Dude. Danny would not be happy if we gave his you know to a cult."

"Yeah, but he can steal it back from the cult with no guilt, unlike with the police."

"But what if he just gave it back to the police?" asked Tucker, looking up the city's purchasing records, trying to determine if they had any cameras that used tapes or that weren't internet connected in or near the morgue.

"Come on, he wouldn't do that."

"Probably not, but he does do weird stuff, sometimes. Like agree to an interview with the police and almost give away his secret identity."

"Yeah," said Sam. "You keep checking how feasible this is, and I'll call Jazz, okay?"

"Sure," said Tucker. "Talk to you later."

.

Jazz eased her car into the alley behind the building that housed the city morgue and ME's office.

"Stop here," said Tucker. "I can see their network."

"I can't believe I'm doing this," Jazz whispered, putting the car into park.

"You don't have to whisper," said Tucker, sitting in the passenger's seat and typing away at his mobile workstation (he insisted that it wasn't a laptop). "No one is going to hear you. Okay, yeah, I'm on their wifi. Give me a minute."

"Take your time," said Sam, who was lying down in the back seat, dressed in blacks and grays, thin gloves over her hands. "Were you guys able to sneak out okay without Danny?"

"Yeah," said Tucker.

"It was a bit trickier without him," said Jazz. She was lucky that her parents wore earplugs to sleep, and she was fairly certain Danny was out of the house entirely. Fighting a ghost, probably. She always told him to wake her up before he left, so at least one person knew where he was and could help him, but he never did.

"Okay, Jazz, you can get closer, now, then Sam can hop out and Box 'em."

"That was fast," said Jazz, starting the car forward again.

"What can I say?" said Tucker. "Pure talen-"

Something in the car started shrieking. Jazz jumped, momentarily pressing too hard on the gas, and the car lurched forward. Sam swore.

"What is that?" asked Tucker, hands over his ears.

"Who care?" shouted Sam, over the noise. "Turn it off, turn it off!"

"It's the- It's the anti-ecto alarm! I told them not to put it on my car!" She leaned across Tucker and opened the glove box. Sure enough, a sleek chrome-and-green monstrosity sat in her poor, innocent glove box, flashing screens, dials, and indicator lights at them. The car cabin lit up like a disco.

Jazz and Tucker jabbed at buttons until the thing shut up.

"Okay," said Tucker. "I think we're going to have to abort. I'm gonna bet my aunt in Chicago heard that."

Jazz blushed. "Sorry guys," she said. She was going to have words with her parents after this. What if she'd been on the highway when that thing went off? They really didn't think these things through.

"We can't abort!" protested Sam. "We need to get the thing! Before they start running tests on it!"

Jazz started backing up the car.

"Yeah, I know, but we needed stealth. We don't have that anymore. Hold up, Jazz, I need to erase my presence from their system."

Sam grumbled. "What set it off, anyway. Boxy?"

"No, it looks like this was calibrated to only go off for a class seven or above," said Tucker, peering at the alarm.

"Class seven?" repeated Jazz. "But... You don't think Danny-"

"No, he's in the suburbs, dealing with Skulker." Jazz looked over at Tucker's computer to see the Ghost Watch app icon blinking in the corner of his screen. "This is Vlad. Crap."

The door made a thunk when Sam swung it too far out and it hit a wall. Jazz winced, but rolled down her window. "What are you doing?" she hissed.

"We can't let Vlad get away with it!"

"And what are you going to do? Sam!"

"Getting back into the cameras," muttered Tucker, typing furiously.

"I'm calling Danny," said Jazz.

"Won't answer, he's fighting Skulker."

"Well, maybe he's finished!" said Jazz, dialing.

There was a flare of blue white light from up ahead and an angry shout. A glowing silhouette joined Sam's dark one. She had released the Box Ghost.

Jazz groaned. "Why did she do that now?"

"Shhh!" said Tucker. Something began to make little beeping noises. "Oh, jeez."

"What's that?"

"My ghost detector. It's tuned to Vlad." He opened his door half way. "Sam!" he shouted. "Incoming!"

She pressed herself to the side of the alley just in time to avoid a dark, horned figure swooping down on her from above. The Box Ghost was not so lucky.

"... and it's got a lower range," said Tucker, faintly.

Vlad Plasmius, rimmed in fuchsia light, floated twenty feet in the air. He had one hand around the Box Ghost's neck, the other full of neon pink fire. "Oh," he said, his voice echoing clearly in the alleyway. "It's you. What are you doing here, pest?"

"Uhhhhh," said the Box Ghost as Sam tried to make her way back to the car.

"And with Daniel's little friends no less?"

Sam broke into a run, slammed Tucker's door shut, yanked open the passenger door behind him, and slid in. Jazz wasted no time in slamming on the gas. If her car got a few scrapes, so be it.

There was a second Vlad behind them. She dropped her phone and slammed on the brakes. It was still ringing.

Smiling like a villain from a slasher movie, this second Vlad stepped intangibly into the car.

"Well, now," he said, smoothly. "What's this? Daniel's friends, but no Daniel? Whatever are the three of you doing here of all places? And at this hour?"

"What are you doing here?" asked Sam.

"No need to be rude, Samantha, dear," said Vlad. "Daniel doesn't know about your little excursion, does he? He's still across town, occupied with Skulker. You can tell him he won't have to worry anymore. I'll take good care of his body."

"Dude," said Tucker, "do you have any idea how gross that sounds?"

Vlad scowled and flicked his fingers. A ray of pink burned a quarter sized hole in the back of Tucker's headrest.

"If he had a problem with me taking it, he should have hidden it better," said Vlad. "I have no desire to have the existence of half ghosts revealed simply because Daniel hid his corpse in same park the police have their annual picnic!"

"Actually," said Tucker, "they usually have it in Marley Park. Aren't you the mayor? Shouldn't you know this?"

Vlad's scowl deepened further. "Drive safely, Jasmine." The duplicate dissolved into magenta and pink mist.

Sam sneezed. "Gross, I think I got him in my nose."

"Guys," said Tucker. "I've got alerts on the police lines, someone reported a disturbance. We really need to go."

.

"Vlad stole my," Danny waved his hands in the air in place of the word. "Are you serious? And you guys know, because you were going to try to steal it, and you didn't tell me?" His friends and sister looked sheepishly at the ground. "Why did you wait 'til now to tell me? I've been having anxiety attacks about it all night. I thought that the stupid ME had, I don't know, insomnia or something! It was Vlad?"

"Yeah," said Sam.

"Argh!" said Danny, starting to pace. Thank goodness his room was large enough to have a good pace in, even with three other teens in it. "I don't even want to think what he could be doing with it, but I am! What if- What if he goes full-bore Frankenstein and freaking reanimates it? What am I supposed to do then? And the police! They're going to think I did it, and there goes my credibility with the police!"

"You were on Ghost Watch fighting Skulker when it happened," offered Tucker.

"Ghosts can be in two places at once! The police know that! That's not a good enough alibi!" He put his hands on his face and groaned. "Am I going to have to break into Vlad's house? Again? He has to have a ghost shield up around it by now. And a human shield. And a ghost-human shield. I'm dead."

"You're not dead, Danny," said Jazz.

"I am dead. In ever sense of the word. Dead, I tell you, dead."

"Deep breaths," said Jazz. "You're hyperventilating."

It was true. He sat down on his bed and buried his face in his hands. "I don't even know what secret lair he's brought it to."

"Wait, you mean, you can't tell where it is?" asked Sam.

"No," said Danny. "If I could, I would have known when Vlad took it."

There was a howl from downstairs as someone rang the doorbell. Danny jumped up. "I'll get it," he said. The group bundled down the stairs, trying to keep up with him.

Before opening the door, Danny glanced out the window.

"Oh, heck, it's them."

"Them who?" asked Jazz.

"Them. The detectives!"

.

"Alright," said Jones, looking at the place where Phantom's body should have been but wasn't. "This is officially too big for just one team. Paterson, Collins, what were you going to do today?"

"Interview high school kids," said Collins.

"Right. You're still going to do that. I'm going to get Murphy and Madison on the break-in, talking to witnesses, but first, your opinions."

"It wasn't Phantom," said Collins. "He could have just come in and taken it, at any time, not just the middle of the night."

"And he wouldn't have needed to take out the cameras and security system," said Paterson, looking over her shoulder at the tech people set up in one corner.

"It was a human. Or a ghost who didn't want us to know who they are," finished Collins.

"Great," said Jones. "That's what I thought, too. I was hoping you'd tell me I was wrong."

"Sorry, cap," said Collins.

"Go on, get out of here," said Jones, making a shooing motion.

.

"Still can't believe that his name is Wesley Weston," said Collins. "Or that he has a record for trespassing and stalking a classmate and claiming that he's a ghost."

"Want to bet that the classmate in question is Fenton?" asked Paterson.

"No thanks," said Collins. "It would have been better if the victim's name hadn't been withheld." He avoided the word 'wish.'

"Yeah, yeah," said Paterson. She knocked on the door.

A balding red haired man with thick glasses opened the door. "Oh," he said. "Please tell me this isn't about Wesley again. Do I need a lawyer?"

"He didn't do anything," said Collins, quickly. "We just want to ask him a few questions."

"It's unrelated to the stalking charges, which were dropped," added Paterson.

"Great," grumbled the man. He turned. "Wesley! The police want to talk to you!"

.

"Well," said Collins, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. "That was enlightening."

"His room belongs on a movie set," said Paterson. "Jeez Louise, we're going to have to keep an eye on that kid. He has a freaking conspiracy theory board."

"It was pretty convincing, though. The kid can talk."

"We need to confirm his data, though."

"Yeah. Talk to more witnesses. See if Fenton really does run off whenever Phantom shows up."

.

"Fenton?" asked Paulina Sanchez, wrinkling her nose so prettily that Paterson suspected she practiced the expression in the mirror. "What about him? I thought we were talking about Phantom. Mi amor." She leaned a little farther into the doorway. She had not let the detectives inside. "Not Fenton."

"We're investigating a number of different angles, Miss," said Collins. "Now, if you could tell us, does he seem to leave class before ghost fights break out."

"Yeah," said Paulina. "He's got some kind of sixth sense thing going on, but he's such a coward. He only ever uses it to run away. Doesn't even try to warn anyone else! I don't know how his friends stand him."

.

"You're talking about Phantom?" asked Sophia LaMar. "You'll want my parents. I'm only an initiate. I'll go get them." She closed the door.

"Do we run away from the cult house?" asked Paterson.

"No, it'll make us look bad."

.

"You know," said Paterson, "if I'd wanted a lecture on how time doesn't exist, I'd drive over to the university and sit in on a class on relativity. Not whatever that was."

"At least now we know that ghosts can time travel?" asked Collins, weakly.

"Let's hurry up and get to Fenton's house," said Paterson. "Do you think he'll even talk to us?"

"Who knows?" asked Collins.

[cordria]

Fav AU

Danny yawned as he flew through the ghost zone, taking a leisurely track through some of the nicer sections. If luck was with him, he wouldn’t run into a single ghost that would attempt to pick a fight. It had taken months of work to convince his mother that the ghost zone wasn’t nearly as dangerous as she thought it was - no need to ruin that on the first trip.

“Why are you going so fast?” came a voice in his ear.

“I’m not?” Danny answered with a roll of his eyes. “If I go any slower, I’ll never get home.”

There was a clicking of keys on a keyboard. “We’re not getting clear enough data on certain things. We’ll have to come up with a better plan than a backpack full of sensors.” His mother sounded like she was scowling. 

Danny grinned. There was no way she’d suggest he spend more time in the ghost zone - she was still convinced the place was full of murderers and other despicable characters, and was only barely allowing this trip - but she had to be frustrated that she wasn’t getting her data. She’d spent weeks planning out this trip.

“Are you sure you can’t slow down, just a little?”

“I’m sure,” Danny said, snugging the backpack full of sensors a little higher on his back. The constantly shifting physics of the ghost zone made slow travel much more complicated. Speed and distance seemed to be connected; the slower he went, the longer physical distance he would have to travel. 

Besides, at the rate he was going, he had a nice, safe path back to the portal. Any slower, and the path back to the portal would get longer and it would route him past Walker’s prison and just a little too close to Skulker’s hunting grounds for his peace of mind. His mother didn’t need to know those two places existed.

She sighed, and Danny could hear the chair squeak as she shifted her weight. “Maybe we could set up a probe network or something.”

Danny fought back a smile at the thought of peppering Walker’s section of the ghost zone with ghost-proof human technology. It would definitely drive the ghost up the wall. “Or something, for sure.”

Looping over a little floating island, Danny glanced around. This was a quiet, peaceful part of the ghost zone, one that allowed Danny to actually take in how beautiful this place was. The shifting gasses and colors, the creatures that scurried around, and the alien pieces of land floating around. 

“Wait!” his mother shouted suddenly.

Danny stopped, glancing around in a moment of panic. The sudden spike of adrenaline made his heart beat loud in his ears, imagining all the horrible things that could be about to descend on him. “What?” 

The ghost zone still seemed peaceful and quiet. His heart slowly sank back down out of his throat.

“We’re getting back some odd data from one of the sensors.”

Danny swallowed back some angry words at that. After all that work to convince her that this world wasn’t dangerous, he couldn’t possibly explain to her why he had a trigger reaction to shouting. “What kind of data?” he asked instead, when he was sure his voice was steady.

“The oxygen levels, oddly. They have gone up nearly fifty percent.”

“Neat,” Danny said. “Not sure it’s worth the scream in my ears,” he grumbled.

“Sorry. I’m trying to figure out if it’s a sensor error,” her voice was quiet, and the keys on her keyboard were clicking furiously. “The oxygen levels have stayed remarkably steady through this whole trip. It’s an anomaly.”

Danny chewed on his tongue for a moment, debating, before turning a bit to his right and heading towards a particular spit of land. 

“Sweetie, can you hold still just a bit longer? I’m still debugging the sensors.”

“I think your sensors work just fine,” Danny said. “I’m taking a detour. I know where the oxygen is coming from. Or I think I do, anyways.” He twirled in the air, taking a lazy route over several little rocks. Ahead of him, the odd spot in the ghost zone came into view. “See that?” he asked, pointing towards it.

“What is that?” she asked. 

Unlike the alien, greenish landscape he’d been traveling through, this area glowed a soft orange. Leafy trees reached high in the sky, creating a forest that covered every inch of ground. “Do you want to know what I know for a fact, or do you want to know what I think it is?”

“Facts, please.”

“It’s located right here.” Danny grinned, deliberately staying quiet as he got closer.

“That’s it?” she asked. She sighed; Danny imagined she was shaking her head and had that half-amused smile on her face. “You’re right about the sensor though, the oxygen levels are getting higher the closer you get to that island.”

Danny chuckled. “I think it used to be part of the human world. You know how Amity Park got pulled into the ghost zone last year? I think it’s like that. A part of our world that got pulled in… and just never got pushed back.” He spiraled in, brushing over the tops of the trees. Each tree sported odd-colored leaves and hundreds of brilliantly glowing orange fruits. He snagged one of the leaves and held it up so she’d be able to see it in the camera. The leaf was an odd shade of purple, and glowed faintly. “See? It looks like a normal, human-world leaf, minus the color.”

“You’re talking about a forest full of plants that have somehow existed in, reproduced in, the ghost zone for enough generations that they’ve turned purple and started to glow.” Her voice was quiet.

With a shrug, Danny dropped the leaf. “Yeah. They still produce oxygen, I guess. You know, trees do that.” 

There was a dead silence over the headset. 

It went on long enough that Danny stopped and tapped his ear. “Hello?” he asked, trying to figure out if it was still functional.

“I’m sorry, Sweetie. I just… you don’t understand the implications of what you’ve found.”

“Oxygen?” 

She laughed breathlessly. “I… Just... Wow. You need to bring home a sample.”

Danny scowled a little. “How do I bring home a sample of oxygen?”

“Of the tree, Sweetheart. Preferably a seedling so we have a complete plant. And any other plant species you can find.”

“It’s just these trees,” Danny swooped down through a hole between the branches. Under the thick canopy, it was a forest of tree trunks and bare ground. The purple from the leaves, the bright orange of the fruit, and the green of the ground blended into a brownish smear of color. “Nothing else is here. What’s so important about some trees anyway?”

His mother was babbling to herself, no doubt scribbling notes on paper so fast she would need help deciphering them later. Chattering about geneticists and botanists and other titles Danny didn’t understand. 

Danny rolled his eyes and got to searching for a good sample for her. It’d be several minutes before she would be ready to talk. Small trees grew here and there, but most were far too big to bring home.

“Oh, Sweetie, grab a couple of those fruits too. Just dump the sensors out the backpack; you can fill up the backpack with samples.”

“The oh-so-precious sensors I got the hour long lecture about being careful with?” Danny arched an eyebrow, lacing his voice with sarcasm. “Just dump them on the ground?”

“Child of mine, I’ve been incredibly wonderful the last two months about this year-long-secret-keeping-mistake of yours. Would you like me to change my mind about that?”

Danny scowled and ducked through a thicker section of the forest. “No.”

“Then drop the sarcasm and pick up a few of those fruits. Try to grab a few at different stages of ripeness.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he muttered. He hesitated when he spotted a small seedling. Dropping down to the ground, he crouched and studied it. Maybe a foot tall, with a dozen small leaves. “How about this one?”

“Perfect!” his mother said. “Do you think you can dig it out? Bring some of the ground with so we don’t disturb the roots too much. I want to see if I can keep it alive.”

Danny snorted. “Never thought you’d be talking about living samples from the ghost zone, huh?”

“You’ve been turning my world upside down since you were born, Sweetie. The last few months especially. Think you can get that home?” 

He dug a toe into the ground. It was almost rock-hard. He’d hate to dig with his hands. “Yeah… let me see if I can find a good stick to dig with.” Danny got to his feet and started wandering around, studying the ground. The place was remarkably clear of broken limbs. Perhaps with no storms or wind, trees just didn’t lose branches as fast. 

“Just think,” his mother was saying, “of what we can learn from these trees. Jack and I don’t have enough knowledge of genetics and biology to really do much with you, and we can’t, for obvious reasons, send any of your samples away for testing. But a plant?”

Danny wrinkled his nose. Sounded boring.

“It opens up so many doors! And now we’ll be able to study if ectoplasm can be carried through genetic markers, and passed down through generations, and how it affects DNA…” she trailed off, the keys on her keyboard clicking away.

Danny spotted something long and skinny and stick-like on the ground. “Perfect,” he murmured, jogging over to grab it. 

But it wasn’t a stick. “Um… Mom?” he said.

“Hmm?” The quick clicking stopped. “Oh, my lord,” she whispered. “Forget about the seedling. Bring that home.”

(to be continued...)

[helahades]

HC: Natasha as a Mother Figure to Tony Stark’s Daughter

Request: “Hey, I really love your writing and like to request a hc :)

Headcanon where you're Tony's daughter (Peter's age), and Natasha has been like a mother figure to you, since she's been working for/with Tony.”

-

A/N: I got carried away with this one. It’s angsty. Honestly Natasha is such a mystery to me so this was a nice challenge.

If you’re interested in more on Nat being a mom, check out @avengerscompound ‘s HC about her here. I read it a while back and again before writing this and I think she deserves your time. She understands these characters like no one I’ve ever seen!

-

This is quite a situation.

I can’t imagine Tony having raised a child from birth to mid adolescence by the time he’s meeting Nat and the Avengers Initiative is kicking off. He matures a lot through his timeline, but that’s a rough time for him.

So I’ll imagine that not only are you Peters age, but similarly to Peter, Tony took you under his wing.

He adopted you around the events of Age of Ultron let’s say. (You’ll remember Nat vocalizes frustration with not being able to start a family in this movie)

You become a lot of the reason he becomes panicked about protecting the world, and make it easier for him to understand Wanda

Also, assuming Pepper is in the picture, you’d have a stable foundation as time went on, and a main mother figure.

BUT LETS GET TO NAT

Right off the bat, this reads like a Miles Morales and Spiderverse Peter Parker situation, wherein Miles already has loving parents and doesnt need Peter to be a father figure so much as Peter needs Miles as a son figure.

Nat wants kids. She hates that the Red Room stole that from her. (in biological and emotional readiness terms)

Depending on where we are in Natashas timeline though (if you don’t like my AoU suggestion), she probably is not stepping into the nurturing role right off the bat.

She’s not living a life that accommodates settling down, or where people aren’t looking for the first vulnerability they can use to hurt her.

When she first meets Tony, she does not trust him. He’s simply a mission.

Then it becomes bigger, and she sees complexity in him and his willingness to sacrifice and put the common good first.

When you come into her life, you’ve lost a lot. You’ve seen how bad the world, and things beyond it, can be, and you may even want to dedicate your life to changing it, in a similar way to the Avengers. Maybe you completely disagree with their way about going about it.

Whatever your ambitions, you remind Nat of her younger self. She tries not to harp on the past, lest it drive her crazy, but she always wanted to change the world. Those dreams became a privilege over time though, and her main goal became survival.

She has seen darkness and death and evaded it all, but some seeps into her in the dark hours. Upon meeting you, she feels something inexplicable, and vows to keep you safe from becoming her.

She respects you. You’re young and strong and quick minded and not afraid to speak your mind on, well, anything. (The last one is a trait Tony and Pepper help to cultivate, by listening to all your ideas and opinions, no matter how wild.)

Initially when she’s around, and she’s just only met you, she simply observes. You’re curious about how things work, and Tony’s partner in crime. Pepper has her hands full, because you love Tony’s terrible jokes, the obnoxious schemes, and every eye roller idea...most of the time.

Tony and Pepper are the most stable family you’ve had in a while, and you tend not to like any plans involving Tony going out into the field.

Sometimes, you and Tony fight. It can be ugly. He loves you, and wants to protect both you and Pepper, and sometimes struggles to understand why people can’t see things the way he does.

It’s the night before a big mission.

You’re sitting in silence in the common room at an unreasonable hour. Nat only came down for an apple, and tells herself to keep walking—the elevator is right there!

But youre crying. Apples be damned. When she comes closer to investigate (with her unintentional spy stealth), or comfort or whatever the hell, she gets closer, closer—an arms length away...and you turn—before leaping from the couch in surprise and smacking into the smooth, hard floor.

After some panic and and an awkward apology, she finds an ice pack for your bruised hip and maybe it’s the pain, but you cry again. You can’t stand the thought of losing your family. Suddenly though, you feel selfish, as you’re sitting in front of a woman who’s lost more than imaginable.

She’s surprisingly gentle. Easy to open up to because it’s her job to be. But theres something else in her eye, like she’s truly invested and maybe even distressed at the sight of your distress.

When you’ve calmed down, she starts to walk you back to your room, hand on your shoulder, but on the way you decide you need to see Tony. You do love him, and he’s the one risking his life. How must he be feeling?

You take a step with that intention, before throwing your arms around Nat. It’s only after you’re squeezing that you remember the infinite ways she can kill. Pulling back shyly though, you’re surprised to see her eyes are.. soft.

You get the sense she truly didn’t mind your company at all, with or without the tears, and that she’s pleased to see you going to resolve the fight. A beat of silence, and you’re off to the lab.

After that day—a week later, actually—She’s back. She insists on training you just a little bit and showing you how to get out of basic holds.

Tony had put you in self defense training before, but it was always with a man, and it always felt off. You find it easier to train with someone who knows what’s at stake, and even better, who uses the brute force of her enemies against them.

Fighting Natashas way was fighting with your mind, even when you were using your fists.

She taught you how to analyze weakness and store it like data, but she nurtured your excitement when you were thrilled after mastering a new move.

She taught you all she knew of making weapons of the terrain, your body, and your skills, without making your mind a weapon that would turn on you.

She let you complain when things hurt, because they’re allowed to, and you’re not a machine.

You vented about being ordinary and being caught in a world where extraordinaries were the norm, making you the strange one.

She assured you, without saying these words, that your kindness and hope are the only things worth having, that everyone around you would kill for.

She watches movies with you and learns to braid your hair.

When you get your heart broken by a trainee who made you feel special, she pulls up his entry essay and you laugh at the desperation of his tone. She tells you one day he’ll feel that desperate again when he realizes he’s lost you.

She sings in Russian something that feels familiar, like maybe she’s supposed to sing it, when you can’t sleep.

There are some parts of her that she struggles to relax. She was not emotionally nurtured in a way that people need to be at a young age, and love does not fall at her feet or come naturally.

It is hard for her to believe that people with pure intentions exist, and are not dead or on their way there.

It is hard to let go and love in a world that consistently tells you it is weakness and tries to pull love away.

She rushes to find you after the snap. Finds you kneeling with bloodied knees and a tear streaked face where Pepper’s coffee mug shattered on the floor.

She sits outside your door while you cry, still reeling from the loss of her friends.

She holds you close and pushes you away while looking for the other Avengers.

She cries, but never near you, because sadness is weakness if it is hers.

She smiles and tells you it’s like a crazy dream. Laughs and says everyone will be back soon.

She shuts her door and lets in the dark after you’re tucked in. Thinks of the sky that swallowed Tony and the void where everyone else may or may not exist.

She stares at the ceiling all night. Then wakes to breakfast and stretches like she slept.

She learns to initiate hugs. She learns to tell you the truth.

She learns to mean things.

She allows herself the privilege of inside jokes.

She pulls from within herself where she thought there was no more and offers you hope when your parents and Peter are all gone. Says she’ll die before forgetting them.

She reconciles not being the most important person in your life anymore when Tony returns.

She holds you and the both of you cry, both with hope, and with fear, when she tells you they’re going to try to jump through time. She also says not to worry, be strong. She’ll be back in a minute.

She’s not.

-

-

i love u pls validate me tags: @threeminutesoflife @avintagekiss24 @jtargaryen18 @sapphirescrolls

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars #10-12

February, 1985

DEATH TO THE BEYONDER!

Wow, Doom has been beaten to hell in this story, huh?

Couldn’t have happened to a nicer etc etc.

Anyway, lets get to it.

Last times in Secret Wars: Some amazingly powerful being from Beyond the universe called the Beyonder kidnaps a bunch of heroes, villains, shades thereof, and chunks of random planets to put on a big toy commercial where action figures can bonk off each other.

The X-Men ditched the other heroes to team up with Magneto to do their own thing, as they’re wont to do. But still largely helped the other heroes fight the villains. And didn’t even do villain shit even though Magneto advocated for it.

There have been a bunch of fights back and forth between the groups but most recently, Captain America’s group of heroes stormed Doombase and took down the villain group then had to rush to back up the X-Men in dealing with Galactus who wants to eat the planet, as he is wont to do.

Doom busted out of the cell the heroes stuck him in to pull off his master plan with the help of solid sound man Klaw while Reed Richards had a crisis of weird conscience as he became convinced that maybe Galactus should eat the planet. But he eventually helped the other heroes drive Galactus off-planet where the hat horned purple planet eater started to eat his own spaceship, with Doom planning to steal that tasty snack.

And that brings us to now.

Where things are getting super freaky.

Reed Richards’ skeleton viscerally upsets me.

But as Galactus’ ship turns from Mobius ship to energy cloud, the cloud gets ripped away from Galactus and streams towards Doombase.

Captain America sends Captain Marvel to Doombase to check if Doom is behind this Total Doom Move and she zips over to determine, yup, Doom is pulling a total Doom right now.

He’s got himself strapped to a thing under a bunch of Klaw lenses injecting PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER right into his itty bitty body.

Captain Marvel is going to zip back over to let Captain America and Mr. Fantastic know whats going on but Professor X chimes in her brain that he’ll save them some time by setting up a psychic conference call between her and Reed.

Meanwhile, Doctor Doom finishes consuming the aggregate energy of a spaceship the size of a solar system and trips out a little on omnipotence.

Doom: “By the dark gods! My least whim alters the world around me! Such is the power coursing within me that stone and steel are wisps of nothing which bend and transform in slavish obedience to my merest stray thought!”

Just say no to phenomenal cosmic power.

Also, some omniscience, which lets him see his own brains and into the souls of the people in Doombase.

Annnd. He spots Captain Marvel. Womp womp.

When the psychic connection between her and Xavier is suddenly cut off, the heroes pile into the X-Men’s wrecked ship to fly to Doombase and save Captain Marvel.

Hm. They’ve really been back and forth. They were all just at Doombase and then they came here and now they’re going back to Doombase.

Since the ship is wrecked, Magneto just propels it with MASTERY OF MAGNET and Cap(tain America) praises him for living up to his hype.

Which sets Magneto off on a rant.

Magneto: “I gather, Captain America, that you would have preferred that I fail! Or... was that remark, perhaps, intended to be a ‘well done’ for which I should humble thank you.”

Captain America: “At ease, mister!”

Magneto: “Allies should be ‘at ease’ with one another! What troubles you? Is it my awesome power? Are you jealous? Afraid? Or is it merely because I am a mutant that you are not ‘at ease’?”

Captain America: “Now that you mention it, the fact that you tried to kill all of us here several times as part of various evil schemes for world conquest is pretty hard to forget entirely!”

This sort of feels like Magneto is antsy because he hasn’t been villaining as much as he likes. Or like him going ‘today I shall cause problems on purpose.’

But, whoops, Cap says that he doesn’t have a problem with the X-Men which sets off Wolverine on a rant about how Captain America doesn’t do enough for mutants.

Geez, its like the time he unmasked a governmental conspiracy by Richard Nixon to use a mutant powered UFO to take over America doesn’t even count.

Wolverine accuses Cap of not laying off Magneto even though he’s been helpful. I’ll note that all Cap did was tell Magneto good job which Magneto decided was a slight.

Meanwhile, over at Doombase where Doom likes to Doom, Doom is pondering what to do now.

He is now powerful enough to wipe out everyone on Battleworld with a wave of his hand and easily win this Secret Wars. But he’s already so powerful, what could he possible ask the Beyonder for?

Doom: “Are those dust-mote heroes truly my enemies? Or... is there now but one foe in all existence worthy of Doom? The Beyonder himself!”

Mostly because he exists and is more powerful than Doom and that simply cannot do.

Like, Doom notes that he already has all the power he could ever want but there’s someone over outside the universe who has more power so Doom wants it. Even though the power he do have is messing him up.

Truly Doom in a nutshell.

Hm. Is it odd that everyone just decides that the Beyonder is male based on nothing? He does decide to be male when he manifests on Earth in Secret Wars 2 but there’s no basis for the assumption here.

But we have toys to sell so Doom upgrades his armor.

This was another request from Mattel, for Doom (and Iron Man, hence the upgrade he gets from Mr. Fantastic) to be given high-tech costumes.

I personally think they just didn’t want to make capes. Notably, there was never a Thor toy.

In-universe, the new armor is a secret weapon to use against the Beyonder, based on Galactus’ machine and the data Doom got scanning the Beyonder in issue 1.

The heroes but into Doombase to find no one to fight. All the villains are still locked up and Doom is nowhere to be seen. They find Captain Marvel, frozen in light form like a hologram.

Then a massive KRAKABOOOM! shakes the fortress as DOOM goes to confront the Beyonder.

The Beyonder: “Stop! You cannot approach me!”

Doom: “Then approach me, coward -- on your knees, if you have knees! Come! Cringe before your master! Grovel before Doom!”

The conflict starts to shake Doombase apart and a big ol rock falls on Reed’s lower torso and knocks the wind out of him.

The monitors in Doombase also shows that the destruction is worldwide, causing devastation to Zsaji’s village, and doing her an injury.

I assume Denver is also affected. I really want that miniseries focusing on Denverians during Secret Wars.

Colossus tries to tell Johnny that Zsaji has been hurt but Johnny’s attentions are elsewhere.

Human Torch: “I -- I’ve got no time for a chippie now! Reed’s hurt! I’ll send her a card later!”

Geez, Johnny.

Anyway, the fight between DOOM and the Beyonder is so so devastating that its threatening to snuff out the sun.

Which, if nothing else, is impressively bonkers.

But wherever Doom falters, the Beyonder doubles his assault.

Turns out that absorbing the energy of a spaceship the size of a solar system doesn’t make you a match for a guy that can casually wipe out a galaxy.

Doom: “Th-thus -- ? Thus falls Doom? No! No! What is pain to one such as I? I -- I will shut it out. Other men fall prey to the very spectre of death... when her cold embrace seems imminent... they simply swoon into her arms! But I... I am Doom! I -- I deny you, death! Victor von Doom must not die!”

He says this after his leg falls off. For the sake of context.

The world-shaking pauses and an image of Doom appears before the assembled heroes. Trying to come off as confident but blatantly holding his hat.

Doom: “Greetings! I am Doctor Doom! ... Though I am far more than the being you once knew! Indeed, I have transcended mortality -- and yet, I am your champion -- fighting for your sakes! I am about to crush the Beyonder!”

“The Beyonder, in his cosmic arrogance abducted us all and brought us here to do battle for his amusement! ‘Slay your enemies...!’ He said -- but in truth, he is the real enemy!”

“While he can reach us, our universe is not safe from his manipulations! He must be utterly defeated and sealed away beyond the portal before -- or destroyed! In the name of all who exist in our universe, I, Doom, have dared to attack the Beyonder!”

“The battle has gone well. Even now, the Beyonder cringes in terror, marshalling his failing strength against my final assault! Hence, this lull in the strife -- which has allowed me to appear to you and offer you the chance to share in my glorious conquest. Lend me your power! Hasten his certain defeat! Come! Who will join me against our common foe? You have but to touch my hand! Who shall be first?”

“To him, after our victory, I shall grant power beyond measure -- with which to further his noble purposes, of course! You know I speak the truth! You feel it, do you not?”

I mean, Doom has a point. The Beyonder IS the real enemy. If the heroes refuse to kill anyone, the Beyonder is never going to let them go home. Unless this is a secret test of character but nothing I’ve seen would lead me in that direction.

It’s just. Its Doom. Who would trust him with EVEN MORE PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER?

Magneto immediately steps forward to offer his power to Doom’s service (womp womp) but he meets Xavier’s gaze and hesitates.

Long enough for several Avengers to tackle him away from Doom.

Proving his claim that the fight is definitely in the bag, Doom can’t maintain his GoFundMe hologram and fades away.

Hawkeye, one of the Avengers that tackled Magneto, starts yelling at the X-Men about the company they keep and what it will take for them to realize Magneto is a dick.

But Captain America interrupts Clint. He says that everyone was tempted by what Doom was offering and goes so far as to speculate that Doom was applying some sort of mind control to them and that Magneto just got the biggest dose.

This is all pretty unsubstantiated but he also does point out that Magneto hesitated to grab Doom’s hand and dammit that counts for something.

Meanwhile, Doom is having a bad time.

Trying to crowdfund a Beyonder defeat having not met its goal by the deadline, Doom is at the mercy of the Beyonder.

But the Beyonder is a curious cuss.

I mean, obviously. Why put on a Secret War unless you’re bored and curious.

The Beyonder starts prying into Doom’s brain and forces Doom to remember his ENTIRE BACKSTORY so he can watch.

You probably know it. Roma youth. His mom killed for witchcraft and her soul trapped by Mephisto. Doom studies magic and science to try to contact her. Makes a hellevator device that blows up in his face.

The Beyonder pries into Doom’s desires for: power over the destinies of other men, for freedom for his mom’s spirit, and for his putting on the piping hot mask face to be restored.

All these desires fascinate the Beyonder and he takes his dissection of the Beyonder to an unfortunately literal level and starts flaying Doom to peep his organs.

Meanwhile, the biggest shock yet hits Battleworld and Doombase starts shaking apart.

Captain America goes to free the villains trapped in their cells and finds Wolverine there who agrees that they shouldn’t leave the villains to die in cages, no matter what they’ve done. Magneto is also helping evacuate the captured villains from the medical wing.

Wolverine: “Don’t take this wrong... But you’re a better man than I gave you credit for! I’m an attacker an’ you’re a defender -- but we’re both soldiers! I’m beginnin’ to think you got room in your high-falutin’ ideals for all people... don’tcha -- ? Even if they’re mutants!”

Captain America: “Some of my best friends are people!”

Hah!

Anyway, RIP Doombase. You had a name and that’s more than I can say of the initial hero base or Magneto’s U-fort.

The shaking stops and a glowing orb of light floats down from space in front of the collected heroes.

Oh my god! The rest of the characters are 4-inch figures but Doom is rocking 24 inches and full articulation!

The heroes prepare to fight the Giant-Sized Doctor Doom but Doom bwoop bwoop bwoops back down to their scale and explains that absorbing the Beyonder caused him to be big because of reasons but he’s got a better handle on it now.

Its not shown on panel but remember Doom had his secret anti-Beyonder weapon hidden inside his armor and the Beyonder got real close when he was dissecting Doom. Which Doom regained consciousness during. So that’s how he did it.

Doom: “First, know you these things... The Beyonder no longer exists... and Doom has been reborn! Thus, have two evils come to an end! There is no enemy left to fight! THE WAR IS OVER!”

Caption: “Nonetheless, we strongly suggest that you read the next issue of Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars on sale in thirty days!!”

Hah.

March, 1985

... AND DUST TO DUST!

I’ll give Marvel Super Heroes TM Secret Wars TM #11 this. It promises and teases THE FACE OF DOOM right on the cover and dammit, it delivers.

Gaze upon his generic attractiveness. He looks like Peter Parker having a wild eyebrow day.

I suppose the real surprise is that he fixed up his scarred face, which puts him two checkmarks into his three greatest desires.

He’s the supreme being in the universe and he’s got a face to match.

In a very reassuring manner, Doom tells the assembled heroes that he could destroy them all with a thought and then doesn’t bother destroying them.

Over in the distance, the freed villains see Doom talking with the heroes and Absorbing Man decides that Doom is selling out to the heroes. The other villains get their dander up at this and debate going over and kicking Doom’s ass.

Volcana: “I don’t know what to think, Owie! Doom is the one who made me into Volcana which is wonderful -- but, gee, he does seem to be double-crossing us!”

Molecule Man: “And I had such faith in him! I believe in him! I -- I’m furious!”

Volcana: “Now, Owie, remember your analyst said it wasn’t good to get overwrought!”

Molecule Man: “I don’t care what she said! I’m going to kill that lying, two-faced, rotten fink! Do you hear me, Doom? The Molecule Man is going to kill you!”

Then Molecule Man flips up several billion tons of the planet’s crust so he can have a conversation with Doom.

Doom just shows Molecule Man the foundations of eternity, the secrets of the universe, how all things work so that Molecule Man can realize that he is the second mightiest in the universe, after Doom.

Doom: “Think! Every molecule, every iota of matter in the cosmos answers to our whim! And all the forces which govern substance bend to your will -- for matter and energy are one and the same! The only limits on your power are those which you have imposed upon yourself, subconsciously because of self-doubt... self-hate... fear! Open your mind to the majesty of your power, Owen Reece! Accept your destiny... and fear no more!”

Molecule Man: “I -- I can control organic molecules! I can do... anything!”

Well.

This bodes something.

Doom then takes off and an amazed Molecule Man declares that he’s now the leader of the villain group. And considering he can peel the planet’s crust in a fit of pique, nobody really wants to say nay.

Molecule Man apparently didn’t want to hurt anyone so when he peeled up the crust, it somehow didn’t hurt any of the heroes. Just relocated them very insistently. Although if they stayed put they’d suffocate from the thin atmosphere.

They return to Doombase, which is somehow still standing. But aside from recapping the series, they really don’t know what to do until Doom makes himself known again.

The villains retreat to the suburb of Denver, Colorado and to the apartment belonging to Marsha Rosenberg (Volcana).

They decide that they don’t actually care about the Secret Wars anymore and just want to go home. And Molecule Man, being a good leader, decides to make this happen for everyone.

Man. I hope none of Denver’s population went wandering outside suburb limits before Molecule Man domed the suburb and chucked it into space.

The heroes spot it happening on their instruments (and because a chunk of planet being ejected into space causes a rumble) but there’s nothing they can really do about it. So Cap suggests everyone sleep on it.

Colossus can’t sleep because he keeps thinking about how deeply he is in love with Zsaji. So he ditches to zip to her village on an air jetski.

Missing a blob of light enter the Doombase and possess the Hulk.

Possessed Hulk lumbers around the base like a sleepwalker, being found by Spider-Woman who can’t sleep for worrying about her hometown of Denver.

She tries to stop Hulk with her psychic webs but he busts through and shoves her to the ground. The weird light blob goes from Hulk to Spider-Woman.

Hulk goes back to sleep and possessed Spider-Woman creeps into Doom’s lab and the discarded head of Klaw.

But there’s a flash of light and soon a confused Spider-Woman is telling the other heroes that Doom showed up, reassembled Klaw, unfroze Captain Marvel, oh and engraved an invitation to the heroes to meet him tomorrow at his sweet new tower.

Klaw: “I told you once -- ! I am my wildest dream! Dream! Eem, eem, eem...”

Doom: “I shall miss dreaming...”

He tells Klaw that he does not need sleep anymore and doesn’t dare sleep anymore because of the power contained in him.

Meanwhile, Colossus arrives at Zsaji’s hut while she’s sleeping and invites himself inside. Its creepy or romantic, shrug. She wakes up, he gives her flowers, and confesses he loves her.

Not really understanding the words but getting the gist, Zsaji seems into it.

I guess she gave up on Johnny. Or her people are polygamous.

Later, Wolverine and Nightcrawler gossip about Colossus’ love life. Neither very sympathetic about Colossus cheating on Kitty Pryde.

You’d think they’d also be unsympathetic about the age gap but eh.

Wolverine is also convinced that Colossus isn’t even REALLY in love with Zsaji, that its just a side-effect of her healing power. PLUS, she’s an alien so who knows what love means to her.

Hm. This really does look like a job for Cipher.

The non-Colossus heroes all go to meet Doom at THE TOWER OF DOOM, where Doom is quick to reiterate that they have nothing to worry about with Doom now possessing phenomenal cosmic power.

Doom: “Much has changed, Captain America! Much indeed! For, when I usurped the Beyonder’s power, slaying him -- in a way, Doom died as well! Now, I am all-powerful! I have nothing to prove to lesser creatures -- and none are my equal! I am complete... serene in my omnipotence! The dark, seething desires which once drove and shaped Doom are no more! Nothing in this universe -- nothing of which you can conceive, no matter how cosmic in scope -- could possible merit my attention! For as Eternity is to you... I am to Eternity! I have transcended all concerns of this plane of existence -- and, yet... we have unfinished business! Loose ends, if you will, left over from my mortal life! I cannot undo all of the evil works of my life without unraveling a great deal of the fabric of reality, causing enormous upheavals in the time/space continuum -- ! I can, though, easily set right some of the crimes of these few days past...”

Its good to see that Doom didn’t let becoming the unchallenged supreme being of the universe change him, at least in regards to words words words.

Anyway, he reintegrates Kang and sends the very confused future man home to the future.

He tells the heroes that Galactus has already been found and aided by his herald, Nova.

Which just leaves the wrong that Doom has done the heroes. He offers them a boon to atone for the suffering they’ve endured at his hands.

The heroes debate what to ask for. Spider-Man suggests that Doom can send them home only for Reed, perhaps peevishly, to remark that he can get them home. Nightcrawler suggests that Doom could find Lockheed, who was part of the intro cast but went missing near the beginning. But Captain America tells Doom that they want nothing from him.

Doom: “Very well! Our dealings are ended! Forever! Leave, now as you entered! Soon I shall ascend to higher planes! Until then -- and mark this -- I will not suffer any disturbance! Go... and do not seek to enter my presence again, for I will utterly destroy any who dare!”

Wow.

His magnanimity sure is short-lived.

The heroes do leave but outside Cap(tain America. Captain Marvel hasn’t had a line since she was unfrozen, I think) does a headcount and Spider-Woman is missing.

Despite the risk of Doom making good on his word to kill anyone that disturbs him, Cap won’t leave a comrade behind and reenters THE TOWER OF DOOM.

Cap stumbles onto Doom chilling with his shirt, mask, and boots off and luckily Doom is either in a good mood or hasn’t counted Captain America as leaving yet.

Captain America tells Doom that Spider-Woman is missing so Doom sends Klaw to go find her.

Klaw goes looking for Spider-Woman but runs into one of her webs. The missing, possessed hero grabs Klaw and transfers the blob of light to him.

Back at Doom having dressed up, maybe feeling awkward about being casual in front of anyone who isn’t Klaw, Doom reveals to Captain America that his mom’s spirit is being held captive by Mephisto and that Doom plans to free her.

Doom: “Is that little enough to ask? Little enough self-solicitude -- ? To free my mother’s soul from endless torment at the hands of an extra-dimensional demon! After that... it is as I said -- no affair of men -- or demons -- could possibly gain my notice!”

Cap comments that Doom is looking pretty human but Doom says its for everyone else’s protection that he keeps the power contained, lest he accidentally wipe out solar systems and galaxies.

Doom: “While I linger on this plane, I am like a giant on a world of ants! Every slight movement I make can seal the destinies of millions! I... do not wish to destroy anyone!”

Klaw returns and tells Cap where to find Spider-Woman so Cap goes off to retrieve her.

The heroes all take off back to Doombase and Cap asks Professor X to summon Colossus because there’s a decision to be made that everyone has to be present for.

Which leads to this delightful scene of Professor X interrupting Colossus as he’s making out with Zsaji.

Despite Colossus telling Xavier to buzz off, Xavier insists that Colossus return and alas duty before booty. Or something.

When Colossus arrives, the heroes all assemble in a conference room that Cap managed to find in Doombase.

Wasp doesn’t see the problem with Doom wanting to rescue his mother and Cap agrees that its a very humane and human thing to want and that in other circumstances Cap would have volunteered to help him.

But its the human that bothers Cap.

It gets back to Jim Shooter’s themes from his non-consecutive Avengers runs. Graviton, Nefaria, Korvac, Molecule Man, and Moondragon.

Godlike power in the hands of the all too human.

Captain America: “Doom claims he’s transcended all human desire! What if he hasn’t? We’ve seen the power of the Beyonder -- Doom’s power -- in action before! It is such power that even now, nothing in the universe can take place without his consent! That kind of authority rightfully belongs to... no man! No matter how enlightened or benevolent he’s become, freedom to do what Doom allows is not freedom!”

Cap is edging very close to ‘attack and dethrone god’ and I don’t know if he means to.

But as Cap points out, the first thing Doom did with his new power was to repair his face. Awfully human-like vanity.

Mr. Reed Fantastic concedes what Cap is getting at and agrees they need to force Doom to give up his power. And where Reed goes, so goes the rest of the Fantastic Three.

Which doesn’t tell you whether its a good idea or not considering they were both behind ‘let Galactus eat us all’ when Reed suggested it.

But the Avengers, the spiders, the Hulk, and the X-Men all agree as well.

Colossus is the last person to speak up and he suggests that if they attack Doom unprompted, maybe they’re the dicks. Doom may never harm them, may do what he’s said he’ll do and ascend to a higher plane of existence and contemplate gluons or whatever.

Captain America: “You may be right, son! I’m not dead certain about any of this! That’s why it must be a unanimous vote... or we do nothing! Don’t think you must agree! The choice is yours... Keep in mind, by the way, that if we do decide to confront Doom, it’s possible that we might be annihilated on the spot by a bolt from the blue!”

Wow, Cap isn’t just telling Colossus he can vote how he likes and not feel he must go with the majority. He’s also giving good reasons NOT to vote with the majority.

That Cap. He loves democracy so much.

Colossus struggles because he’s just found love and happiness and he never got to finish making out. And he’s being asked to possibly throw that all away unnecessarily!

Cap still won’t press Colossus one way or another so Colossus has to speak from the heart.

Colossus: “Forgive me, Zsaji... I say yes... We fight!”

He chose........... poorly?

Wonder what the last issue will be about now that half the cast is dead. Ignoring that we see several of these people alive in an issue set after this but published before.

Ignoring that. I wonder what the last issue will be about.

Good thing we don’t have to wait.

April, 1985

“...NOTHING TO FEAR...”

Okay, see, this is just making me wonder harder.

Hm. I also wonder if this is the first big moment where Captain America’s America Shield gets broken for dramatic effect. I know it happens again in Infinity Gauntlet but that’s some years away.

Anyway, yeah. The twenty-one hero characters and Magneto (twenty-one feels like A LOT, geez) have been totally killed forever and they will certainly stay dead.

To Zsaji’s alarm, since in a bit of establishing relative positions, she can see Doombase from the mountain near her village that Galactus set up his planet-eating equipment on.

Over at THE TOWER OF DOOM, Doom contains the power again.

Klaw: “Seal up the power -- god’s might in a can! Thus, Doom is just another man! But why?”

Doom: “Lest in a careless moment, a casual flick of my little figner might blacken a star system, or wipe out an intergalactic civilization. Lest, like Vishnu. ‘I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.’ This universe is too fragile!”

Klaw: “Such power! Such weight upon your shoulders! Poor Doom!”

Klaw questions whether the heroes are REALLY dead but Doom insists on it.

Meanwhile, Denver floating through space towards Earth.

I wanted to question... like... how much oxygen or food a Denver chunk could contain but Molecule Man laughs at logistics. He can just turn space dust into whatever he needs.

Man, Molecule Man would be great to have on a generation ship.

The villains are still chilling out in Volcana’s apartment, instead of taking over the largest building or whatever. Nice thing about Molecule Man being boss is that he doesn’t really approve of all of that.

Enchantress locks herself in the bathroom because dammit, sometimes you just need alone time to consult with a water elemental for some juicy exposition.

Because its issue 12 and we don’t know anything about the Beyonder really and Doom has already eaten him up so its now or never.

Honestly, time should have been budgeted for it earlier but what can you do.

The water elemental knows some things by gossiping with other spirits asks as price for her exposition that Enchantress “grant me power to walk through fields of flowers as mortals do” but Enchantress just threatens her into it.

She’s not a great boss.

Water Elemental: “In his realm, the Beyonder was everything and everything was him... and he was content! But by chance, an event in our universe opened a pinhole into his beyond-realm -- and through the pinhole he glimpsed the Earth! For the first time in his existence he became curious! So, he began to observe! For years, he watched the Earth! One thing confounded him above all else -- this incompleteness beings of our universe seemed to have -- this thing called... desire!”

So the Beyonder chose subjects of power, presence and palpable desire. The three P’s. And then he either raptured or lured into his game. The Beyonder sorted them according to the nature of their desires, which is why Magneto ended up with the heroes. Because his desire for mutantkind is like the altruistic desires of the heroes. Vs the personal desires of the villain group.

The Water Elemental recaps the war, including an image of Enchantress getting punched by She-Hulk, probably to piss her off. Yadda yadda, Doom played the larger game while everyone was doing punches and managed to usurp the Beyonder.

Water Elemental: “May I go down the drain now, please?”

Except no. Enchantress is still a bad boss and demands that the elemental use her rapport with the water on Battleworld to tell Enchantress whats going on now.

The elemental says she doesn’t have the power to do that so Enchantress dunks the elemental and boils some power into her.

Enchantress sees images of the heroes being effortlessly slaughtered, Klaw waiting on Doom as he relaxes, and Doom planning to invade Mephisto’s realm.

The last question Enchantress asks the rather haggard looking elemental is whether the Beyonder is truly dead.

Water Elemental: “N-no... he is close by Doom. But too weak to act... He is hiding where Doom would never suspect, awaiting an opportunity... a moment of vulnerability.”

Humorously, during this scene, the Absorbing Man starts banging on the bathroom door and asking Enchantress if she fell in.

In the living room, the Lizard is getting antsy about being cooped up.

Lizard: “RRAWRR! Out! Lizard wantss out of thiss humanss’ nesst! Musst be in sswamp! Lizard hates humanss!”

The Wrecking Crew just want to kill Lizard to spare the hassle but Volcana sticks up for him because its in her nature to take care of things. And in the same way he demonstrated with Wasp, Lizard folds into surly obedience as soon as someone is firm but nice with him.

Lizard isn’t the only one that’s antsy, as Dock Ock starts complaining and smashing the walls about how unlikely it is that they’ll ever reach home.

Doctorpus Octopus: “Don’t you fools realize the odds against us ever reaching Earth? An ant dropped in the middle of the Sahara would stand a better chance of getting to Hawaii!”

Molecule Man wanders in and tries to calm down the doctorpus while Enchantress lures Volcana away from the crowd.

Enchantress has decided that its time for Volcana to repay her debt for portaling her over to Molecule Man’s side after he was Wolverine’d. And the blank check cost she’s decided on is for Volcana to help Enchantress return to Asgard immediately to warn her people about the danger that Beyonder Doom poses.

And Volcana can help by ‘donating’ her life-force to power the teleport. And by donate, of course, she means, mystically contractually obligated.

Elsewhere, Molecule Man shows Doc Ock that he’s restored the stars in the galaxy that the Beyonder wiped out and that he’s been learning to do spacewarps too. And that’s how they’ll get home.

Doc Ock has some doubts so Molecule Man wraps him up in a nice, weighted blanket of asphalt and plans to turn him over to the authorities when they get back because he’s beginning to suspect that this supervillain may in fact may not be emotionally healthy.

Molecule Man realizes that Volcana isn’t around and Lizard who saw Enchantress pied piper her away leads MM to interrupt the Enchantress before she can finish draining Volcana or making fat jokes.

She makes a lot of fat jokes. Ffs Amora.

Enchantress teleport flees back to Battleworld but Lizard jumps after her and gets caught up in it.

He scratches her face so she throws him off a cliff.

And since mystically speaking, the Lizard counts as a “lower creature” Enchantress can just rip away his life-force and use it to fix her face and power an uncertain teleport to Asgard.

RIP the Lizard. Although I’m pretty sure you bounce back from this.

Meanwhile, in THE TOWER OF DOOM, Doom is napping while Klaw creeps on him creepily but Doom wakes up and yells at Klaw for letting him sleep.

Why, who knows what his subconscious would do with the Beyonder’s power in his dreams!

Klaw suggests hey maybe Doom would accidentally revive the heroes. Or maybe he already did? Hm?? In fact, Klaw has a theory and he’s going to use his sound hologram powers to put on a little demonstration for Doom.

He posits that Zsaji saw the destruction Doom wrought on Doombase (which we do know that she did do). She finds the... uh chunks that remain of the heroes and uses her healing powers to put them in stasis where cellular life still lingers. But she finds Colossus less damaged than the rest because he instinctively shifted to his armored form at the last instant. Surely his armored skin is better armor than, say, the Thing’s rock skin or Iron Man’s armor.

The story Klaw is telling works better this way so surely it is so.

Zsaji manages to bring Colossus wholly back to life, at the cost of her own.

A grief-stricken Colossus shoves Reed Richards into a healing tank (his elastic body also less damaged than the rest because sure, Reed Richards is more durable than the Hulk, we can just say anything).

So Reed is restored and he uses the technology of Doombase to invent a mass healing device and restores the rest of the heroes.

Klaw: “And they’re on their way here right now! The end... maybe!”

Doom: “Absurd! That couldn’t happen! The odds are impossible!”

Klaw: “Perhaps... but maybe you sort of... helped things along... Maybe you secretly subconsciously wanted them to survive... to rise from the ashes and live again!”

Doom: “You speak madness, Klaw!”

Klaw doubts though because Doom didn’t completely atomize the heroes and suggests turning on his god-mode and verifying that the heroes are really dead.

But now Doom is worried that having heard Klaw spell out a possible way for the heroes to be alive, his slightest doubt might make it so.

(I mean, I’m pretty sure that the light blob that’s possessing Klaw is the Beyonder who is gaslighting Doom for Reasons.)

Doom: “This is madness! I must drive these thoughts, these doubts, from my mind! They are dead! Dead! Dead! And yet... How many times in the past have I thought that Reed Richards was dead? And, if there were one man who might overcome the odds... is it not Captain America? No... no! THEY ARE DEAD!”

Klaw: “Then, again...”

Doom lets the Beyonder power well up but he can’t control it and it starts blasting Battleworld to shit and nearly destroyed all of reality. Doom can’t get his mind ordered and calm.

Klaw offers to destroy the heroes for Doom so Doom grants him “an infinitesimal micro-fraction” of his power, “enough to blacken ten thousand suns.”

GEEZ. I know that the Beyonder was established as being the strongest being in the universe, having come from a universe where all was the Beyonder. But that’s still very alarming.

The heroes rush in because after being murdered in an instant once already, subtlety is out the window.

Klaw intercepts them with a summoned army of monsters and also Ultron. Yes, Ultron is back, back again. Tell a friend. Tell them OH MY GOD RUN.

Then there’s a big two-page spread of everyone attacking everyone because that’s the kind of story this is.

Rad.

The Thing reverts back to meat man Ben Grimm but manages to will power the rocks back on and decides now he can control the changes and starts crying because this is everything he’s ever wanted.

Hulk goes punchies on Ultron but the robot does a plot injury to Hulk’s leg and for an encore makes Iron Man, Wolverine, and Spider-Woman look stupid before just falling apart.

Thanks to Wasp shrinking down, flying in one of the Hulk punch dents and just yanking wires. Yay, Wasp did a thing!

Also, she beat Ultron. She deserves to. Shame that not more can be made of it as a beat, what with everything going on.

Captain America manages to slip past all the monsters and jump kick his way past Klaw, although Klaw threw that little encounter.

Cap reaches where Doom is once again chilling, although this time with his clothes on.

Doom brags that there’s nothing that the heroes can do to harm him in any way, after all, what is a man to one who is omnipotent?

Captain America: “I wouldn’t be too sure about that! After all... you conquered the Beyonder! And why would you have gone through the trouble of killing us in the first place, unless... you were afraid!”

Doom doesn’t like having holes poked in his arguments so he kamehamehas Cap into ashes.

But Cap respawns out of sheer ‘I can do this all day’ness and charges at Doom to be blasted and respawned again.

Okay, so its Klaw who keeps respawning Cap, while letting Doom think its his own stolen power running out of control that keeps doing it.

And having Cap keep popping back into existence and trying to hit him in the face with a metal disc makes Doom lose his every last shit.

The power starts to overtake him and threaten the universe so Cap offers his hand, to serve as an anchor to reality for Doom.

Oh, hey. Just like Cap offered Doom his hand in the first issue but Doom turned it down because he hates pity.

But now, with omnipotence raging out of control, Doom reaches to accept Cap’s hand.

Thems some nice bookends.

Except the feeble remnant of the Beyonder that’s been body hopping bursts out of Klaw and reclaims his power from Doom.

Unpossessed Klaw: “Doom! Doom! Forgive me, Doom! The Beyonder, he took over my body -- ! He used my guile, my wits, my cunning to engineer this! I set you up for this! Doom -- ! I’m so sorry!”

The Beyonder reverts Doom’s armor (and face) back to how it was and then ejects him from the plot. Klaw jumping in to be with his master.

Actually, the Beyonder nopes out of the plot as well. Just kinda abandons this grand experiment into the concept of desire.

And to be fair, half the competitors fucked off. The other half refused to actually kill. And one of the competitors jumped off the board game to steal the Beyonder’s wallet.

At that point, escaping before you have to answer any questions is the right move.

With the fight over, there’s just a whole bunch of wrap-up.

Colossus has a funeral for Zsaji and buries her on the hill overlooking Doombase because fuck those villagers, she probably didn’t have any friends or loved ones who should have a say in this.

While RICHARDSS goes to work on a way home, Spider-Man swings around Doombase for a snack of alien eggplant. Then finds everyone else in the costume making machine room where Professor X has.

Uh.

Made some fashion choices.

Won’t anybody stop him?

Anyway, he intends to keep undermining Storm when they get back to Earth. What a guy.

Spider-Man also learns that none of their costumes respond to thought like his new black costume does and wonders what’s different about his.

Hulk’s leg was busted up by being Ultron’d and his gamma levels have risen so much that they’d short out the healing pods. So Reed makes Hulk a techno crutch and leg brace to help him get around until his natural healing factor takes care of things.

He’s not very pleased at the situation though and snaps at Hawkeye, leading Hawkeye to a thought that hits a lot different post Civil War II.

Hawkeye: “Whoa! Has he ever changed in the last few days! I think he’s losing it -- becoming totally savage and out of control again! Man, I hope I’m wrong! Maybe I’d better make myself a few more arrows -- some real heavy-duty ones -- just in case!”

Curt Connors wanders in and tells a story about waking up in a crater a few miles from the fortress. He says that he’s sure this time the lizard-persona is totally gone forever for reals.

Nightcrawler says its good that Connors found them before they departed so he wouldn’t get left behind, then mentions that Lockheed the dragon would return.

And boom! Lockheed the dragon returns with a lady dragon!

He’s been getting laid this whole time, the little scamp! I assume! Either way, he has contributed absolutely nothing to anything that happened.

Reed decides that Lockheed and Connors showing up isn’t just a coincidence, that the Beyonder left some trace energy behind when he quit the plot. And that the energy is causing a wish fulfillment phenomenon (which sorta makes sense if you think of it like the promise Beyonder promised to fulfill the winners’ desires?)

Mr. Fantastic: “I believe that this... ‘wish fulfillment’ phenomenon we’ve been experiencing is an after-effect of the battle against Doom! The planet itself seems to have been charged with residual energy whichs seems to respond to strong desire, or force of will!”

Cap(tain America) immediately takes off to where he’s keeping all the fragments of his broken shield that he’s been able to find and wishes REALLY hard for it to be fixed.

“It was the product of a freak metallurgical accident -- a metallic disk of unknown composition, and unique properties -- utterly impervious to any force or instrument which humans comprehend. But now it lies before him like a wounded friend... How many times has it saved his life? And now... it’s usefl life is at an end, for no fire could melt it, no furnace could reforge it. It is forever broken... unless by force of will... or sheer desire... He can accomplish the impossible!”

Hey, how about that!

I mean, you could have wished Bucky back to life but on the other hand, it’s a real sweet shield. I get it.

Although, in terms of the pre-post Secret Wars issue teasing what could happen in it (Hulk with a leg brace, She-Hulk with the FF, Spider-Man’s new costume), I really think that Steve should have returned from Battleworld with the broken shield.

Almost everything that’s gonna be brought back from Secret Wars is going to have to be abandoned or turn out to be evil.

It’s going to turn out (years later, mind) that Steve fixed his shield bad with his FORCE OF WILL and that for some reason, imperfections in the shield threaten to destroy ALL VIBRANIUM.

And that’s a decent story, probably.

Just saying, you could have Cap return with a broken shield and get that ‘how did that happen’ hype. Its a really intriguing idea. Although, I’d bet that breaking Cap’s shield was only thought up after the pre-post Secret Wars issues had already been done so it had to be introduced and rectified in Secret Wars itself.

Some other things that didn’t last long from Secret Wars: we already know the black goo costume didn’t even last through Secret Wars. The modifications Reed made to the Iron Man armor stop working when Rhodey returns to Earth, then they evolve into the evil Carnivor and fights Quasar in Quasar. Hulk ditches his leg brace two issues after his return to Earth. Connors turns himself back into the Lizard to save his family a couple years after Secret Wars. And so on.

So the time comes to return everyone back to Earth with the device Reed made. It teleports them in small groups up to the ring-shaped construct that got them to Battleworld where it will teleport them to Earth.

Reed beams up the unaffiliated group first of Spider-Man, Spider-Woman, Curt Connors, Hulk, and Magneto who decided he’s too cool to hang with the X-Men on the ride home.

Next, the X-Men. Although they have to talk Colossus into coming home instead of being sad on a hill forever by convincing him that he’d be wasting the life Zsaji gave him if he didn’t come home.

Colossus letting Xavier talk him into sticking with the X-Men over greater and greater personal losses eventually becomes a sore point.

Lockheed’s girlfriend flies into the teleport as Reed initializes it, causing a dramatic energy fluctuation that Reed hopes won’t cause any problems on Earth.

It does.

Puff the tiny dragon becomes Puff the enormous dragon, and menaced Japan in her quest to mate with Lockeed. The X-Men had to fight her and Lockheed eventually rejected the now much bigger dragon causing her to explode.

Although she came back to life at some point and she and Lockheed did get back together.

X-Men is a weird book.

The Avengers are up next but She-Hulk tells them that she’s joining the Fantastic Four. Now this happened because Byrne made grabby hands at her and Stern didn’t say no but its not really satisfactorily built-up in this story.

Ben and She-Hulk don’t share many moments to establish that they have a good friendship that he could ask her to take his place on the team. In fact, the last time I know of them teaming up, she was a huge sex pest to him. So it makes it even more baffling.

But it happened in the pre-post issue so its gotta happen.

And Ben asks Jen (maybe the similar names is why he asks her? They can get away with only changing a single letter on his locker) because he’s going to stay behind on Battleworld because he can control his powers here.

He’s not planning on being here forever and Reed can leave the gizmo so Ben can return whenever he wants.

What makes this stupid is that like almost everything involving Ben, Reed knows a lot more about what’s going on and just doesn’t say anything. He starts to but doesn’t insist when Ben tells him not to try to change his mind.

The thing about the Thing is that Ben should always have been able to Rock On or Rock Off as he pleased but there’s a psychological block preventing it.

Ben would lose this control before leaving Battleworld and he quits the FF when he learns that Reed knew that it was a psychological issue.

Mr. Fantastic: “If only I could tell him what I suspect about his transformations -- but it’s the kind of thing that might shatter a man... even a strong man like Ben! No, better to say nothing... and hope he slowly discovers the truth for himself... Or hides from it forever!”“

Geez.

You’re so bad at people.

Anyway. Yeah. Needed some more build-up. Maybe centered around the transformation. Jen could sympathize. She used to have trouble controlling her hulk outs before she just decided to be She-Hulk all the time.

Anyway, this big ridiculous thing (the last issue was 43 PAGES LONG) ends with Ben being thoughtful on a rock.

And that brings us back to Avengers #243.

I guess he’s not alone because Zsaji’s village is still here, maybe? Is nobody going to send them home??

Follow @essential-avengers​ because FINALLY I can get back to just focusing on the Avengers. Phew. Please like and reblog. This took so much effort.

[just-mirko]

BINARY BNHA HACKER AU - CHAPTER 1

MASTERLIST

Mirko x F!Reader

Warnings: swearing. nothing much yet ;)

WC: 1.3k (short because its just the beginning)

—

You were just a simple hacker. Exposing buinsess leaders and gathering information for whoever offers the highest amount. But when you take a strange job and are suddenly invited to an underground school for the best hackers in all of japan, Life is suddenly far from simple.

—

Hey so I basically stole most of the school design and hierarchy from Kakegurui (the amazing gambling anime 10/10 would recommend) but twisted it to match a hacker style au. Idk I guess 707 is getting to me. Reader is female, but there isn’t any lemonade here so if need be I can change the pronouns if anyone wants. :) Other than that, I hope you like the first chapter! I hope to make this a series Maybe like 50k max. Anyways, lets get onto the story. This is my first dedicated fanfic so bear with me if I don’t update that much! 

—

The consistent waves of tapping sounding from the keyboard below me was the only sound present in the room, save for the occasional rubbing of my blinds up against my windowsill. The slightest breeze flew through the crack in my window, billowing and swirling around my fingers.

          It was something I knew I should not be doing. God knew it was all forms of illegal, but of course, that would not stop me. I mean why would it? I got a burner drive, 2 VPNs and at least a dozen forms of encryption on my ip address, but something felt off. This job was too easy.

          From the beginning I knew it would be simple, but that never meant a simple job could not take hours. It had only been 30 minutes sitting at my computer before I cracked the first firewall with ease.

          An “anonymous” (or so they thought, I could back-trace to their identity within a minute) client had requested for a high-risk job. My brain instantly told me to turn it down, as messing with companies was one thing, but the government was another. Lucky for them, the hefty offer of almost $3,000USD easily swayed me.

          I continued my assault on my keyboard before a small little black tab on my screen showed up and began spewing out information. To anyone who did not know what to look for, they would see it as mindless code, but there. Right there, nestled between two little brackets was a chain of numbers. Copying it by hand onto a scrap of paper then switching onto another computer monitor, I entered the digits onto a pre-determined code with one purpose. To track.

          Normally this phase could take up to 1 hour depending on how hard the person on the other side of the screen was trying to hide their dirty little secrets, so I sat back, and watched the progress bar begin to tick forward in slight increments.

          I had to stop taking money orders. One day I would be found, and with how often I accepted the jobs, and how little I cared these days to change up my encryption methods, it’s not going to be long before I got caught. Yet I still did it. Was it the headlines on the news? “Local millionaire exposed to embezzlement?” I found that out, the work had my name all over it. Was it the knowledge that I maybe, just maybe, might be helping the world just a little bit?

          No.

          I knew it was not. Deep down, I knew it was the thrill. God each time I feel the power. I can break down corporations. I can break down people! I can destroy careers and I can mess shit up. Ha!

          Maybe the pride was getting to me. My popularity was rapidly growing on the black market as more and more people demanded to have their enemies exposed. The thing is. Only rich people can afford to get rid of their enemies, which puts me in a very profitable place.

          Another factor was a few special rumors going around. Apparently, there were ‘hacker hunters’ trying to match people’s signature corrupt handiwork to a name. Online we all went by pseudonyms and pen names mine being Shad0w, but in the real world I guess we all were people too, none of us  aware of what we were capable of.

          At the amazing age of 17 I became the 12th most popular hacker-for-higher. And at the opportunist age of 18 I got my first jab to the neck. I guess got paid by a pretty sketchy person and faced his consequences. That day I had to physically destroy one of my old hard-drives just out of fear that someone was still coming for me. I did not get hurt physically of course, but the threats they shot left a deeper mark than a bullet could of. Since then I have been careful. Always covering my steps and hiding in the shadows of the web. No matter how hard I tried though I cou-

BRZZZ!

          A loud hum from my computer snapped me awake, and after further inspection, the loading bar was complete. The neon colors were taking their toll on my eyes. What a struggle it was to keep them open.

          The whole ordeal barley took an hour… and I was getting paid $3000? No. That could not be right. My cursor stood above the ‘next’ button that would retrieve all the data from my target, and hesitantly, I clicked it.

          The little loading circle of doom (kasdjfkdjkdfd) spun around my screen before disappearing leaving nothing but white.

          Nothing but a white screen.

Just a second. Did my computer crash? What is this.

          Nothing but a white screen.

          What is happening? This CAN’T be right. It was supposed to lead my to the retrieval page. I should be collecting my pay right now.

          “Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuuuuu” I whispered to nobody other than myself. As I clicked around the screen, even tried existing before sitting back and looking at it. It was dauntingly blank, and panic was slowly beginning to creep it. It must have been a trick. They have all my information now. Is it just a virus or something more what is going on?!

          As if the computer could read my mind, it began to release a distorted sounding audio from the speakers before a voice finally came through. Obviously having gone through software to make it unidentifiable, the voice was deep and smooth.

          “Dear (y/n) (l/n). Hello. We have been watching your progress for a while.”

          Oh no. They know my full name. At this point, they might know everything. This is bad… really bad.

          “Since you began at 17 years old, you have successfully destroyed a lot of people’s lives. Good for you.”

          As dull as the computer augmented voice was, it was dripping with sarcasm.

          “Despite this, you have led to the downfall of quite a few toxic corporations. No matter your good though, these actions are obviously quite illegal. If you have no intention of getting well hacked yourself then it would be in your best interest to accept.”

Accept what? The voice paused before all noise cut out completely. What screen dimmed slightly before text began showing up line by line in the blandest of fonts.

The text only read:

This is your request to attend UA, the prestigious underground academy for the architypes of modern genius.

We welcome you to our decryption and data collection course.

Below we have attached the address and date for when courses start.

Should you choose not to attend, pretend you never saw this.

Should you choose to hand the address over to authorities, We will know and stop you before you get the chance to.

We look forward to seeing you in class.

Principal Nezu.

UA High

222 Enshu St.

Musutafu Japan

First semester start date:

April 14th, 2276.

You may arrive at the school 1 day before to set up in dorms. Failure to arrive on time on the fist day will result in termination from the course.

Welcome to the class of 2280 (y/n)(l/n)