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#i can see myself skating to this
justcallmeplz · 1 year
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I dont know why I love you so much baby
I dont now why I need you all my life
I dont know why you make me get crazy
I dont know why I cant live without you baby
I dont know why I need you so close
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obsob · 5 months
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oooooooooough i love you i love you i love you!!!! hand in loving hand !!!!!!
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needylittlegirl · 2 months
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theres a 99% chance we’re gonna move so i have to start packing little things now cause it makes the transition easier but i hate it i dont want to
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keeps-ache · 20 days
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mm i Neeed to go the beach
#just me hi#wauhuhh !#something about just drifting around in water that i am slightly scared of that really makes my brain whir happily lol :>#i am slightly scared of it for two major reasons: 1) fish. lord the fish why are they so scary 2) sometimes i think i'll drown and they jus#won't find the body. which is less rational than the fish so that's why fish is my number 1 fear at all times lmao#/i think out of all the animals on the planet i am the most scared of ordinary fish. not even the deep sea stuff hfbshv#cuz look they're so far down there you Have to assume they look funked. and also they prolly don't like human meat. so it's cool#but regular fish?? some of them eat birds. they eat birds dude. what would they do to me if they knew how to use harpoons??#also they for SURE eat corpses so we loop back to fear no. 2 really just being fear no. 1 hbfhs#/see i'm not even that scared of the animals my parents are determined on exploding. like man if i get eaten that was prolly bound#to happen anyway. i Know how that goes. i know what mauling is lol#i am the only person in this house who will walk around outside on a moonless light w/ no flashlight because if i was sposed to be dead i#can guaranteE there are much better opportunities. funnier ones‚ too#/just looked it up bobcats are SHY little guys. they are just shy babies. except for when they have rabies :)#shy rabies babies <3#/anyway back to the fish. i don't like how there are some that specifically like to eat human skin. mmm no i have never liked that ever not#one little bit. makes my skin crawl hghfsh#i don't care what it does or can do that is NOT cool lil dude ;w;#/hang on i'm googling 'weirdest things fish eat' because i want to scare myself i guess hbfhvbsf :'3#they're only showing me weird fish!!! no !! tell me about a fish that's living exclusively off of plastics!! or car tires !! come on !!!#these guys are just funky looking. and just Kinda funky looking. though this humphead guy is funny lol :)#he looks scary but with a charm that i can't deny#his forehead. and mouf. this guy is awesome#and of course he's endangered because the world is exploding. but it's so cool he exists :D#//anyway fish are scary. and miss humphead is Huge so goofiness aside he's also scary hhfbvs#also why do some of those motherfunkers swim close to shore and bite at you. those guys suck so bad#that's only happened to me so many times but enough for me to have a fear that has lasted for over half a decade lmao#//and anywho i'm running out of tag space lol :)#we're going ot the park!! i'm going to skate :DD !!#i wanna get good at my old stuff again hfsh - so bye! bye !! toodles !!!
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me and my sister went to the mall today and we ran into hot topic so fucking fast it was unbelievable. me and my sister are literal opposites when it comes to fashion. she picked pink, pastel shit like she was trying to be all uwu kawaii meanwhile im just standing here with my arms full of emo and goth shit, i legit felt like daigo and masato with all this emo drip i had walked out with. (p.s. they should put yakuza stuff in hot topic if they havent already because i have yet to have any yakuza related things in my room </3 also hot topic is like the only store i will shop at)
im so sorry to say these words to you but reading this reminded me of my immortal
#snap chats#I ALSO HAVE NO ROOM TO TALK THOUGH CAUSE I LITERALLY JUST GOT BACK FROM HOT TOPIC AND SPENCERSLKEAKVJA#rubbing off my fucking eyeliner as we speak im no better than a goffick and im sure the stuff you got was actually real fire and im jealous#i actually wore my hakuho pin out today- i pinned it on my back jean jacket. not to flex on you or anything 🥴#i remember the day my college friend said something about me being goth and i looked like a dumbass saying 'im not goth...'#when all i ever did was wear black. and tbf i toned it down a LOT while i was at school. i wanted to be normal-passing 😭😭#that aside i only went in to get jewelry and a new belt chain. also a kirby keychain and nail polish#but like it was that Blackheart brand so you know i just wanted it for the skull container and the name. also i was running out#my hot topic really doesnt have any clothes- or at least clothes i fuck with like its mostly skirts and puffy-sleeved shirts#and yeah those are epic and awesome but they're not my style yk. love it on other people just not on me#i usually get my clothes from like. express or skate shops. very different fashions as you can see LMAOOO#like today i got this really pretty crane shirt and then like. i got a black-and-white striped long sleeve with a skeleton hand patch LMAO#UGH im pissed i didnt get the red and black variant too but i didnt think bout it til i already left#i want to get new boots- the ones i have now are great and i love them but i want something chunkier#my 'goth' fashion is really lowkey honestly like i hardly consider myself goth cause of it- its very casual ig#ignore the fuck-you amount of rings i wear ok. theyre pretty..... also they have certain meanings sometimes#like i wear an owl ring cause it reminds me of my sis since she loved owls growing up and went to a uni with an owl mascot#i wear a dragon ring sometimes cause dragons remind me of my dad. for whatever reason.#idk its cause he tried to convince me i was born year of the dragon when i wasnt ?? idk funny guy lmao#and then i already said i wore snake stuff and crosses cause I Hate My Mom. also i was born a snake#also my dads a christian so :] i will wear two cross rings and a cross necklace tyvm love you pops i wish you were around more#uhhh did i want to say anything else. idk im just dumping about my emo bullshit thanks for reading ☠️☠️#if this wasnt my yakuza blog id actually just show the haul i got today BUT i will spare you lot from my emo bullshit#ok ill kill the tags here now im SILLY
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neonacidtrip · 1 year
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[image ID: a screenshot of a discord chat with username “wenge (when-gay)’ carrying out a one-sided conversation expressing her reluctance and fears regarding driving at 1:08 a.m. the other person in the conversation’s responses are not shown]
#when your boy politely suggests you move to the next difficulty level in driving#we were both speaking but i was typing my answers because i dont have my voice right now#i think in order he said 'you need to learn to drive faster' & when i asked how fast he said first 25 (wont kill me) then 40 (will kill me)#he then said we move from 40 to 65 to which i hit him with 50 50 50 what happened to 50#the keysmash happened when he told me to drive to his house#in other words you can see the moment my brain short circuited#i normally feel bad sharing text conversations but i dont feel bad here because its only my responses#the only one being blasted is myself for being a cant drive gay#i get that there arent many 30 zones but 25 to 40 is a lot okay#i went on a 40 road exactly once and it ended quite terribly. scared the driving instructor#why do highways have to exist why do highways have to be 60+ zones why me just why#i said merging because i thought that would be the next difficult skills to tackle and he was like um no#and hit me with the 'you need to learn to make turns at more than 2mph before you worry about merging lanes neo'#25 to 40 is a lot and im not even on 25s yet i am still in 10mph zones. i have to graduate up to 25 still#we started on 25s and he was like hmmmmmmmm maybe i over estimated you lets go to the 10s#like a disappointed teacher discovering the kid who bragged about ice skating actually cant ice skate at all#i cant drive i cant dance i dont know karate.... face it... im never gonna make it#neo rants#photo post#i know i need to drive and not hide behind mcr references but i just really dont like driving#i will get there slowly but surely but that doesnt mean i cant whine and cry about it on the way there#like sailor moon intended#also i took 3d6 psychic damage because after all the fighting about the plans for the car he suggested my own original idea to me#my idea was to leave the car with my mom and now hes presenting this idea the very first idea i suggested as if he came up with it#i cant live in this society
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snapbackslide · 2 years
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🪄 once upon a time, the planets and the fates and all the stars aligned…
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… you and I ended up in the same room at the same time 🌌
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quirkethhammetteth · 27 days
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i hate being a pushover. being a pushover sucks. i can't say no. i force myself to hangout with people i don't like because i've strung them along for too long and now i'm stuck. i've wasted so much money because of this. i've wasted so much time because of this, i want to be able to be assertive, say no, and break off friendships without getting crazy and guilty over it.
tumblr, how do i do it? does anyone have advice
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exopelagic · 4 months
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okay I’m cured
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myname-isnia · 5 months
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I really need three days off in a week bc between plans with friends and family obligations I have absolutely no time to relax
#I don’t count it as a day off unless I don’t go anywhere or see anyone#day off means locked in my apartment. alone. staring at the wall and talking to myself for hours#I have to go to grandma’s tomorrow bc I always see her once a week#and she made me borsch. I can’t just skip out on borsch#and then I promised my friends I’d go ice skating with them on Sunday#idk why I agreed#I’ve never even seen a pair of skates in real life before#I can’t work properly when I’ve got two feet on the ground. let alone when skates and ice are involved#it’s gonna end so badly I can already tell#a long time ago a friend tried to teach me to rollerblade#I couldn’t even get off the floor after putting the rollerblades on#I am absolutely not cut out for stuff like this#no sense of balance. whatsoever#it’s gonna be miserable for everyone involved bc I’ll spend the entire trying not to fall#and my friends will spend the entire time helping me not fall#I really shouldn’t have agreed. I never even wanted to go. but I’ve never taken part in any winter activity. ever#ice skating. skiing. snowboarding. snowball fights. building a snowman. none of it#and my friend had three passes left to a rink by her house#I have to go#I literally can’t cancel#but I have so much shit happening next week and I really need a day off to just sit and process it all#right now I’m actively ignoring everything coming up bc if I think about it I will sob my eyes out#and I already do that enough. and I can’t sleep after I cry and I’ve been sleep deprived for months#god.. how will I ever make it through life if I can’t even handle going out with friends on a weekend and one single mock exam??#life’s really hammering in that I’m all grown up now huh#okay. no. nope. not gonna go there. not gonna cry tonight. I can’t keep crying all the time it’s not good for me#I swear I didn’t cry this much when I was actively depressed and suicidal. and it’s not those cleansing cries either#I always feel like shit afterwards. but what can you do. I just have to get it together and stop whining#I made a commitment. now I have to follow through. like the adult I almost am. no more complaining#I’m done
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nomaishuttle · 10 months
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i think paypal messing up and not letting me place my order and me getting 3 yogurt cups and an apple muffin (i had the yogurt for lunch and im abt to eat da muffin) from residents is a sign from god that i shouldnt order food bc its way too expensive both kinds of food that i was wanting . like 30 dollars. but god i want the food really badly though is the thing
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strawberrysturniolo · 5 months
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goal // hockey!chris
summary: your boyfriend gets in a fight during his hockey game
part two
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“SHIT!” I scream as the opposing team launches the puck into the goal. With some miracle, it’s pulled to the side goalpost, keeping the score at 2-2. 
I relax in my seat with my best friend sitting next to me, her tension releasing just as much as mine, maybe more, considering her boyfriend is the goalie. 
I watch as my boyfriend skates back onto the ice, tapping his stick three times to get my attention. 
I love you. 
I smile at him, watching as he races across the ice and steals the puck from his opponent. 
In retaliation, that player slams Chris into the boards in front of me. My eyes widen at the sound of the impact, but my boyfriend skates backwards unscathed. 
“We still on for dinner tonight?” he asks me in the middle of his game. 
I nod, trying my best not to distract him. 
We met when my best friend took me to her boyfriend's hockey banquet. It was hard not to be captivated by Chris. He checked all the right boxes and captured my attention with ease. I wanted to know everything about him.
We talked the whole night, then hung out in groups until we finally had the courage to go on a proper date. He kissed my cheek when he dropped me off at my apartment across our college campus, a complete sweetheart in the palm of my hands. 
We started dating after a few months, taking everything really slow, especially with the chaos of our own college schedules and him having to travel for his games. 
Chris skates next to his brothers, Sturniolo stitched into three jerseys standing next to each other as their coach speaks with them during their timeout. 
I look at Chris’ hand, sticking out behind him. He has his hand out with his middle and ring finger down, signing I love you.
“You guys are just too cute, aren’t you?” my best friend teases me. 
My cheeks burn red, a smile on my face that I can’t shake off. 
A power play is set up right next to where we’re sitting. I always find this so interesting. I can hear everything the players say to each other. 
“Who’s little girlfriend is there in the green?” someone says. 
I know they’re talking about me, so I immediately scan Chris’ face to see what he says. He doesn’t respond, but his jaw is locked and his eyes are burning into the other player. 
I watch Chris’ brother, Matt, charge into our view, stealing the puck away and attempting to shoot. It’s another lost cause. This goalie has saved the last 10 shots. 
“Oh, Jesus,” my friend groans. “Look at Chris.”
I scan the ice for my boyfriend, finding the number 3 and following his every move. He follows the player with the last name Hart like a shark. I can’t hear anything, but I can see the anger on Chris’ face, and the humor on Hart’s. Finally, I watch Chris hit his breaking point. 
With seven minutes left in the game, Chris races across the ice to Hart, despite the fact that his other brother, Nick, is already playing defense on him. Chris slides in front of his brother, cross-checking Hart. 
“Are you kidding me?!” I hear a shout from behind me. 
Eventually, the area around us erupts in cheers. Students from our school rise on their feet, jumping up and down, cheering on Chris as he picks a fight. 
Sticks are thrown, and the referees stand in shock as Chris lays sprawled on top of Hart, regaining his balance before throwing punches at his helmet. 
My heart is pounding, but I know better than to react and embarrass him. He knows how to be safe on the ice, and he knows his limits way better than I do. Not to mention, everyone loves Chris. Our school gathers just for him and his brothers, cheering them on at every game. The last thing I want is to embarrass him or his reputation. 
“I’LL KILL YOU!” Chris roars, and at that, the referees finally get involved. It’s useless. While two referees hold onto him, another player from the opposing team runs up to defend Hart, throwing a punch at Chris’ jaw. 
“Hey!” I find myself jumping up and yelling. I watch as the blood starts to pour from Chris’ nose, and now that there’s blood involved, I feel every bit of anxiety bubbling up in my chest. “Someone do something!”
Chris continues to get nailed, slurring out profanities as he expresses his anger. 
“Do NOT talk about her!” he screams one last time as he’s dragged off the ice, his brothers eyeing down everyone else in case it’s their turn to throw a punch. 
“Christopher Sturniolo, five minute penalty for fighting,” an announcer says over the speaker, repeating the same spiel for Hart. 
I grab my bag and stand from the bleachers. “I’m gonna go meet him outside the locker room.”
I say goodbye to everyone and head to the locker room, wanting to know more about this fight, but more importantly, that he’s okay. 
About 20 minutes later I see Chris walking with his coach, his nose mixed with some fresh and some dried blood. When his coach notices me standing outside of the locker room, picking at my fingers, he says, “I’ll see you tomorrow at practice.”
Chris nods, walking right past me and into the locker room. I’ve already seen everyone else leave, so I know it’s safe to go in, but seeing that he completely ignored me, I don’t think a few guys in there would be enough to keep me from entering. 
“So you’re just picking fights and ignoring me now?” I scoff. 
“I don’t want to talk about it,” he mumbles, tearing his padding off and shoving it into his hockey bag. 
I watch as he pulls his shirt off, his toned back facing me. 
I find myself becoming embarrassingly distracted and forgetting what I’m actually in here for.
“Do you still want dinner?” I ask quietly, my voice timid. 
Chris sighs and places his hands on the sides of his locker, the muscles in his back tensing. “Where do you want to go?”
I shrug even though I know he can’t see me. It’s like I’m too nervous to say anything in case he gets mad at me over something that happened during the game. 
When I don’t answer, he turns around, finding nothing but concern painted all over my face. 
He sighs again, this time one that tells me that he’s sorry without actually saying it. His arms wrap around me, his bare chest bracing my clothed one. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles into my hair as he kisses my head. 
“What happened?” 
He breathes out a laugh, tossing his shirt into his locker. “Johnny Hart happened, that piece of shit.” 
I don’t ask for more information. The dam has now broken and I know the water carrying the information is going to come flooding in. 
“He’s known for being a top tier trash talker, but it takes it way too fucking far,” he tells me. “I mean, talking about my family, my girlfriend–Fuck!”
I flinch at the sound of him shouting. “What did he say about me?”
He shakes his head. 
“Tell me,” I plead. 
“No!” he shouts again. “God, just– Go wait outside. I’ll be out in a minute and we can go get something to eat.”
“I want to know what he said!” 
“He’s a dick! Go wait outside,” he demands, but my feet are planted to the floor. I refuse to back down. “Are you seriously going to do this?”
“Yes!” I argue. 
“Fine!” he gives in. He takes a deep breath. “He was just saying disgusting things about you the whole time. Talking about your legs, how he wanted to see what you had under your pants.” I watch as his jaw tightens again. “He said he wanted to see if he could make you wetter than I can. That he would take you after the game and pin you against his car… Is that enough for you?”
I can see his face turning red, his anger bleeding out of him. It’s at this moment that I can also see that his face is still a bloody mess, and that matters more to me than what some idiot on the other team has to say about me. 
Without a word, I walk to the sinks, grab a rag that has been folded up and get it damp with warm water. I motion for Chris to sit down on a bench in front of his locker, and when he does, I start gently dabbing his mouth with the rag. 
He gives me a soft smile, and as cute as that is, my focus is on his bloody teeth. 
“Oh, baby,” I mumble. I find a bottle of water buried in his bag so he can rinse his mouth, and continue cleaning his face. “Are your hands okay?”
“Mhm,” he hums. “Had my gloves on.” 
I nod, remaining silent as I wipe the blood from his mouth and give him somewhere to spit the bloody water. 
“Coach is pissed,” he laughs lightly. 
“I’m not surprised.”
“He was already getting on me about my grades, and with this… I gotta get it together or he’s benching me.”
We both know that his coach will fight anyone to make sure Chris stays on the starting team. He’s the best player this college has seen in years.
“I can tutor you again,” I offer. “I have time before work on Friday’s.”
He shakes his head at me. “I don’t want to put that on you.” 
“I wouldn’t have offered if it would have been an inconvenience.”
He nods, then rests his hands on my waist, eventually pulling my wrists down to remove my hands from his face. 
“I’m sorry,” he says sincerely. 
“I know.”
“I just…” his voice trails off. “I can’t stand it when they do that shit. I know you’re a catch because… come on,” he motions his hands at me, making me laugh. “I just can’t sit there and pretend like I’m not bothered by it.” 
“I get it,” I assure him, trying to relieve the part of him that feels like he’s letting people down. “Let’s just get those grades up and try to tone back on the fighting, okay?”
He nods, this time smiling with a lot less blood in his teeth. He pulls me down to his level, resting me on his lap before holding my cheeks and kissing me gently. “I love you.”
A smile grows on my face. “I love you more.”
His eyes go wide. “Enough to fight Hart’s girlfriend for me?”
I let out a short laugh. “Let’s go get something to eat.” 
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cyberels · 2 months
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later, loser.ᐟ ᯓ★
˗ˋˏ 𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐌𝐒 𝐗 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 ˎˊ-
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☆ ellie discovers the quickest way to get a girl underneath her
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daily click! palestine masterpost
☆: sometimes i start writing without a plot in mind to get myself out of a funk and and and this is what i came up w lol so sorry if it’s doodoo ass
☆ warnings -> mention of blood, injuries, all that good shit that comes with skateboarding, probably really inaccurate skating talk, drugs, tbh probably really bad writing but bare with me here, no concept of stranger danger from reader when she sees a hot girl (ellie) for plot reasons lol
☆ skaterboarder!ellie yayyy she wears glasses because i said so &&&&& also ellie works at a vinyl shop and reader works at a bakery :)
☆ ☆ ellies playlist! ☆ ☆
u don’t have to listen but i made it to listen while i write and i thought it’d be fun to add
my masterlist
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ellie was no stranger to making mistakes, she’s human, it happens… however, she usually doesn’t make this many stupid choices within the span of one single hour.
today, ellie was running late.
mistake number one.
she practically flew out of the door and hopped on her board, mumbling a half assed apology to her neighbor who she accidentally shoulder checked on her way out when she put on her headphones.
she’s probably going way too fast, but she’s been skateboarding for years, she can handle it. she still has the penny boards that she started skating on when she was 12 hanging up in her living room, right beside some of her other boards she’s had since then that she’s either destroyed or replaced. she weaved in and out of the people walking practically effortlessly, not caring if she was pissing anyone off, they’d live. she’d never have to see them again, anyways.
she opened her phone to turn on her music.
you, on the other hand, were taking your time; you had a good while until you had to be at work. you’ve created a habit of looking for ladybugs in the bushes outside your apartment complex after you noticed that the plant is home to many of the little insects. usually you just glance at the plant as you pass by, but today, you fully stopped to look.
unfortunately, you were unaware of ellie being just feet away from you.
guess you’re no stranger to mistakes, either.
granted, ellie would have had enough time to stop… if she was paying attention.
which she was not.
mistake number two.
you hear a string of curse words behind you. you barely manage to turn around before you’re pushed into the bushes by a girl who promptly lands on top of you. her skateboard rolled away pathetically. it’s almost like it was embarrassed, too.
if there had been any ladybugs, they were definitely squashed now.
you open your eyes slowly to find the other girl hovering just above you. her necklace dangles temptingly close to your lips as she pushes herself up. she's still on top of you, her face just inches away from yours. she blinks a few times, slowly taking in the situation. she seems lost in thought, the wheels in her head turning painstakingly slowly as she tries to comprehend what's happening and her part in it.
she’s taking way too long to get off of you, though, which only serves to frustrate you more.
“hellooo? can you get up?” you mumble through gritted teeth to the girl above you, turning your head to the side to avoid her gaze.
in hindsight, you probably should’ve asked if she was okay, but right now all you wanted to do was get up and pretend like this never happened.
you don’t even want to know how many people saw you fall.
“oh— oh fuck.” ellie stuttered, taking one last glance at you before she moved herself onto the sidewalk, not finding the strength to stand up fully just yet.
she grabbed her headphones that had been flung off in the impact. small scrapes lined the side of them, but at least they probably still worked. she put them around her neck, letting her head fall back in her hands. she took a deep breath, trying to get a grip on her emotions and the situation.
you sigh as you get up, and ellie can tell you’re mad based solely on how the exhale of air sounded.
“uh… you good?” you ask after an uncomfortable pause, eyeing the other girl. it was obvious you didn’t really care, but at least you tried to be polite.
you were still taking your time collecting yourself, brushing leaves out of your hair and wiping blood from your hands onto your jeans (thank god you wore black jeans today). you were definitely going to be sore tomorrow, but other than your scraped up hands, you were fine.
just really pissed off.
ellie looked up at you and then immediately looked back down, running her hands over her face once more. “yeah, i’m… good.”
you roll your eyes as you hold your hand (the one with the least amount of scrapes) out towards ellie, offering to pull her up. you can't help but feel pity as she sits on the sidewalk. not in a sympathizing way, but more of a "damn, this girl looks pathetic" way. she hesitates for a second, but then grabs your hand and smiles weakly.
“thanks.”
as much as you know that this situation partially is your fault, you’re still annoyed. you had spent so long getting ready today just to have some idiot push you into dirt.
when you speak again, your words come out harsher than you intended… not that you minded. “yeah. watch where you’re fucking going next time.”
ouch.
okay, maybe (keyword: maybe) ellie had caused the worst part of this, but she wasn’t going to sit here and take you blatantly being rude when you’re just as much to blame as she is. “maybe if you didn’t think you owned the sidewalk, i wouldn't have ran into you.”
you reach down beside you and grab her, now shattered, phone and her (also shattered) glasses. you raise your eyebrows as you look over the broken screen.
“maybe if you were paying attention.” you pause, wiggling the phone in front of her face. “you would’ve realized i stopped walking.”
she snatched her things back, she didn’t have a comeback for that.
her phone was fucked… usable, but the screen was shattered so badly that if she scrolled on it she’d probably slice open her thumb. small price to pay, she figures.
it’s not like she’s gonna buy a new one… but she would have to cough up the money for new glasses, though. damn it.
“why the hell did you stop walking anyways?”
you hesitate, looking back at the bush sheepishly, vaguely gesturing towards it as you speak again. “i— not that it’s any of your business— i wanted to see if there were any ladybugs on the leaves.”
“…oh.”
well now ellie just feels like a dickhead, because that’s actually really cute. that was not the answer she was expecting.
you continue looking away and ellie sighs, attempting to push past you to grab her skateboard.
mistake number three.
the second she takes a step, she falls into you again, her ankle completely giving out underneath her. you catch her, your arms wrapping around her hips as you hold her up.
ellie has never wanted to die more than she did at this moment.
her face was literally sandwiched in between your chest. she pushed herself back, hopping slightly.
what the fuck just happened?
“oh my fucking god. i’m so sorry. i– oh fuck, this is so awkward.”
yeah, awkward was one word for it. you stare at her blankly for a moment before you kick her skateboard towards her.
you could feel her touch lingering on your body like she was still there. if your hands were just a little lower you would’ve…
“its– it’s fine. dude, are you sure you’re alright?”
you sound more like you care this time, at least.
not that you do care, or anything,
just trying to make sure she wasn’t seriously hurt.
that’s all.
“i’m fine.” it was an obvious lie, but she was preoccupied with thinking about how she was going to skate to and from work if she could barely walk… she’d have to deal with it, she decided. there wasn’t any other option for her right now, she was already late.. “i’ll be fine.”
“very convincing.” you reply, looking her up and down. “you’re not seriously about to get on that thing again, are you?”
“not that it’s any of your business, but i don’t have any other choice, i’m gonna be late to work and this is all i have to get me there.”
you narrow your eyes at her.
no way this girl was reckless and stupid.
“what? you can’t be serious… you’re still going to work? are you an idiot?”
ellie doesn't answer right away, glancing down at her skateboard for a bit. you’re right, she should call out, but she hated the prospect of missing a day of work. money had been tight, even one missed day would be hell for her and her bank account.
“you gonna give me the money i’d lose if i called out?”
you opened your mouth to reply, but she was already flying past you, very clearly having a hard time but also very clearly not caring.
“don’t stop in the middle of the sidewalk next time, dumbass!” she yelled, leaving you standing in the same spot just watching her leave.
…and kinda wishing she’d come back.
just so you could get the last word.
when you walk into work, it’s unfortunately obvious that you’re pissed off, if the way your manager immediately asks what happened as soon as you clocked in was anything to go by.
you’re thankful for the excuse to rant, though.
“god, abby, where do i even start? i literally just walked out of my apartment and some girl on a skateboard slammed into me and we both went flying into a stupid plant. got a face full of bush and not even the good kind.”
“jesus,” abby laughed, picking a leaf out of your hair. “was she hot?”
“was she hot? is that seriously all you’re gonna say?”
“...well?”
“i hate you so much… but yeah, she was.” you admit, defeat obvious in your tone. you’re well aware that this would’ve been a lot easier for you if you didn’t find the dumb skater attractive. you’d been close enough to her face to see every detail… her freckles, her eyes, her lips— damn it. you couldn’t get her out of your head.
this felt like a sick joke.
abby clapped her hands together. “this isn’t a completely bad thing! did you get her number?”
“no, abby, i didn’t get her number. i was too busy trying to get her away from me because she was stupid and annoying.”
“you’re no fun, could’ve got yourself a skater girl.” she frowned. “are you okay though?”
“you should’ve led with that question, you know?” you huff, looking at the scrapes on your palms again. “i’m fine.”
“yeah, yeah. i should’ve.” abby tosses a pastry towards you. “here, for your troubles, on the house. go sit down in the break room for a little bit, you look like a mess.”
“gonna ignore the last part. thanks, abs.”
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“jesus fucking christ.” ellie mumbled to herself, hopping off her board before she opened the door to the small vinyl store she worked at.
“late again, williams— oh. oh wow. you look like shit.” austin, the owner of the shop spoke, nudging ellie as she walked by. he was wearing a stupid smirk on his face which made ellie more aggravated.
asshole.
“real nice.” ellie grumbled, putting up her skateboard and backpack. “sorry for being late, won’t happen again, i just— some people are so stupid, you know?”
“by ‘some people’ do you mean you?” he laughed, spinning on his chair. he mocked the way ellie spoke, doing a high pitched voice that sounded nothing like her.
god, he was a 30 year old man-child, but he pays her… so… whatever. she’ll deal.
“ha-ha. good one.”
“ya gonna tell me what happened or are ya gonna leave me guessin’?”
“what happened is people don’t know how to walk anymore.” she scoffed, taking stock of the money she had to count before putting it in the drawer. “so fucking stupid.”
“by the looks of it you don’t know how to walk anymore, either. you gonna be able to work? i’m not payin’ ya to sit around, so if i need to call someone else in…”
she glared at him, trying to see if he’d explode if she stared hard enough.
he was right though, unfortunately, ellie was walking like she had just learned how to. it wasn’t the worst injury she’s ever got from skateboarding, but it was definitely inconvenient.
“yeah, i’ll be fine.” ellie snapped, shifting her weight to her good foot to avoid making her injury any worse. “jesus christ, it’s a twisted ankle. i’m not missing a limb.”
“but—“
“drop it.”
he put his hands up in mock surrender, the smirk still on his face. “oooookay, okay. whatever you say williams. you were still late though, let’s go back to talkin’ about that. what’s the count at now? is this the fifth or sixth time this month?”
“i’m sorry, i’m sorry. shit’s hard when you don’t have a car.” ellie sighed, punching in the numbers on her register. “i’ll do better. today was not my fault, though.”
“am i gonna have to be more strict with you? everyone else shows up on time, you know?”
“yeah, yeah. whatever.” ellie rolled her eyes, trying to focus on work and push the pain out of her mind. “everyone else has a car.”
ellie really did not like austin. his whole holier-than-thou attitude irked her to no end.
still, it beat being jobless, so she knew she shouldn’t complain.
“don’t let it happen again.”
“i won’t, i swear. i’m really sorry.”
“right, okay, i’m gonna go to the bathroom real quick, you alright out here?”
she bit her tongue, holding back a groan.
austin ‘going to the bathroom’ was his way of saying that he’s gonna get really fucking stoned and then sit around and do nothing all day. this was a daily occurrence, at this rate.
“yeah, yeah, i’m good.” ellie mumbled, shoving away the annoyance she felt when he walked past her.
austin was a dickhead, but he was never outright mean, not really. he just… he thought he was better than everyone. a classic ego-centric prick.
as much as she hated him, she did like having a job— and being able to afford a place to sleep at night.
“ohhh, ellie, i gave you more shifts, like you asked.” he said before he walked out, smiling at her. “take a look at the schedule when ya get the chance.”
he has to be kidding.
she’s been begging for more shifts since god knows how long ago, and he decides to give her more now? when she doesn’t even know how she’s gonna be able to make it to work?
amazing. just what she wanted!
“great.” ellie muttered, shooting him a glare even though he was already gone. “more hours that i don’t know how the hell i’m gonna get to.”
she shook her head, austin wasn’t worth getting this pissed about— especially when he did try to do what she asked.
the store was never busy in the morning, so she sat in austins chair, finally taking a second to herself. she went over her options on how this was going to go.
she could have asked dina for a ride, if dina wasn’t off on some work trip about three hours away for the next two weeks, taking her and jesses shared car with her.
terrible timing.
she’d take public transportation if it was reliable and also if she didn’t have a few bad experiences with it already.
that wasn’t really a good option.
uber was definitely not an option. she already was going to have to buy new glasses and eventually pay for her phone to get fixed, she wasn’t about to drop $50 a day on ride.
she was screwed.
nothing was working out for her right now— the universe was laughing at her, just like it always did.
she wanted to kick and scream, but that wouldn’t help anything, plus she wouldn’t be able to kick very well right now.
oh well… she’d be fine, she’d just have to push through it.
her phone buzzed in her pocket and she winced when she seen the cracked screen again, it was so wrecked that it barely let her type in her password.
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was ellie stupid for agreeing to go out of her way when she was already struggling to walk? yes.
does she care? no.
jesse was a good guy, he’s done a shit ton of favors for her, so this was the least she could do.
she’d never been to the bakery, but she always smelled it when she’d pass by, and it always looked like it’d be good. she did deserve a little treat after the day she had, anyways.
thank you jesse and jesse’s money.
when ellies shift is over, she feels so much worse than she did earlier, and austin repeating that ellie looked like shit over and over again wasn’t helping.
ugh.
“you’re a wreck, williams—“
“—goodbye austin, byeee. i’m leaving, out the door, shifts over. see you tomorrow.” she slammed the door shut, letting out a frustrated sigh as she got on her board again. “god. fuck off.”
the bakery wasn’t far, it was literally right across the street, but it felt like it was miles away to ellie. she leaned on the wall for a second to catch her breath before she walked inside.
it was a cute shop, one of those places you see on pinterest or instagram, with the led light signs and fake plants, it was actually really nice. she doesn’t know why she never came here before.
“let me know if i can help… oh god. it’s you.”
she looks over at you and she starts to wish the fall had just killed her on impact.
“please… pretend like this morning didn’t happen. i don’t want to deal with arguing right now.” ellie sighs, not giving you time to reply to her before she goes into saying her order.
she looked at your name tag as she paid, she could barely see what it said, her eyes squinting slightly as she tried to make out your name.
you scribbled little smiley faces and stars around your name, which was cuter than ellie would like to admit.
“go sit, i’ll bring your stuff to you after i box them, ‘kay?”
“i can wait here.“
“sit.”
“fine.”
she sat at one of the booths, attempting to use her phone without losing a finger. she wasn’t even paying attention to the content, just scrolling mindlessly as the memories of this morning replayed in her mind over and over again.
she was hoping to never see you again.
maybe coming here was a mistake.
“here.” you say after a few moments, placing the boxes on the table. “enjoy.”
you were being kind, but she could read behind the curtness of your tone.
you thought she was dumb. she could always tell by the way you talked to her; that look of disdain on your face.
“thanks.” she said, and then the silence took over again. it was obvious that neither of them wanted to start another conversation after the way the last one ended.
ellie couldn’t help but notice how just scraped up your hands were. you had bandages on them, but the blood that seeped through was bright red, like it was demanding to be looked at.
demanding ellie to feel bad for what she did.
damn it, she really should’ve just paid attention this morning.
would’ve saved her a lot of trouble.
she got up, sucking her teeth and hissing as she shifted her weight. she leaned on the table for balance as a few curse words left her mouth.
“god, you’re the dumbest person i’ve ever met.” you declared, confirming her suspicions.
she scoffed, trying to shake the pain away from her ankle.
man, this sucked.
“shut the hell up.” ellie snapped. “you don’t have to be so snarky, you know? i’m already dealing with the consequences of my shitty morning, you can drop the whole, ‘i’m better than you’ bullshit. if you listened earlier, you’d have known i said that i have no other choice.”
“i did listen, idiot. i don’t mean to sound like i’m trying to be better than you, okay? i’m sorry. but you seriously don’t have anyone that can help you out? do you have friends?”
“i have friends, asshole. they’re just either busy or i don’t want to inconvenience them. what’s it matter to you anyways?”
you don’t really have an answer, you’re not sure why it matters. maybe it’s because ellie looked really miserable, or maybe it’s because it had been partially your fault that she’s hurt… or maybe both. but you couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt about the situation she was in.
“i have a car.”
ellie paused, looking up at you. she wasn’t sure if she heard you correctly, or if this was just some weird, shitty joke.
“okay? congratulations?”
“don’t make me spell it out.” you reply, annoyance clear in your tone. “i’m saying, you’re obviously hurt, and it’s kinda my fault, so… if you needed a ride…”
“no.”
“don’t be stubborn. look, i get it, we’re not on the best terms right now, but i can’t just let you go like this without at least offering, y’know? plus, you seem like you could use the help.”
ellie’s mind was screaming at her to accept— it was logical. you offered a ride, she needs a ride, she should accept your offer.
“i could be a serial killer for all you know. you don’t even know my name.”
“yeah, okay. you? a serial killer? i’d just run away. not like you’d be able to chase after me.”
“hey, i can run pretty damn fast, you know?” ellie hissed. if she wanted, she could definitely chase you down… but she’d rather not do that at the moment. that was probably not a great idea. “hell, i could be an axe murderer.”
“what’s your name?”
“huh?”
“are you dumb?”
“…it’s ellie.”
“‘kay, ellie, now i know your name and if you’re observant— which i doubt but i’m gonna play devils advocate— you know mine. nice to meet you. now we know each other. i’m not gonna sit here and play 21 questions, do you want me to take you to your place or not?”
“what if you kill me anyways?” she asked, she was kidding, she just wanted to piss you off.
“i am not gonna fucking— you know what, you’re annoying. never mind.”
“wait. i’m sorry.”
fuck.
maybe this whole thing about you wasn’t so bad. you were just— abrasive.
she swallowed, forcing herself to stay calm. “i’ll take a ride.”
“what’s the magic word?”
“die.” ellie hissed. “you’re not funny.”
“almost! that’s four words. do you want a hint?”
ellie stared at you blankly for a few seconds before answering. “i am not saying please.”
“you just said it.” you grinned. “look, i get off at 6:30, that’s like… 20 minutes from now, if you don’t mind waiting. i’ll come get you when i’m off, sound good?”
“yeah. that sounds good.”
this is such a bad idea.
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blagueofchaos · 1 year
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Oh yeah this also happened last night!
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gommyworm · 1 year
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:^l
#winter is the worst thing to exist ever#i feel like apologizing for being negative but also like this is my blog .... so whatever#anyways these past weeks have been a living hell i havent been so close to swerving into oncoming traffic in a while#regulsr depressions being acting up like a bich bc i havent seen anyone other than my family in weeks#i wake uo at 6 whatever am. go to work. go home. make dinner for my family. sit and read webcomics for a bit. go to sleep.#havent even been sleeping well lmao one of the onky pleasures in my life is being unconcious so this sucks#i had skating classes once a week but that last last thursday so like i dont even get that anymore#and i dont have any monry to sign myself uo for anything else bc i gotta give my mom 1k and i need to pay my credit card n student loans#anyways regular depression + seasonal depression + pmsing like fucking crazy + got in a fight w my mom again#bc shes telling me to get married lmfao but like i dont even leave the house ? im too busy taking care of her kids ?#and i dont even have money to do fun things bc im too stressed about giving her money for my shit head brother ? also i have no friends ?#friend 1 lives in a city 8 hrs away fridnd 2 scheduke doesnt line up w mine often and hes got exams n shjt also hes dealing w his own stuff#friend 3 is my ex who my mom would literally kill me if she knew i was seeing lol so like my options are very limited !#anyways either im gonna have to leave the country or kill myself soon bc i cant live like this for too much longer#i keep telling myelf like oh when the kids are a bit older i can finally leave but like goddd i cant do this for another 3 years#i have literally nothing to live for i hope i die soon#gommywords#sorry if u are one of my 3 aformentioned friends n u read this shit lol i dont have the courage or strength to talk to ppl about things
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scarlettohairdye · 1 year
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PSA to printed zine makers
As a 37 year old who's been running a sole proprietorship for the last 10+ years, I just want everyone who is planning to run a fandom project that involves accepting money for printing & shipping costs to know that you're actually running a small business and you need to plan for taxes. It doesn't matter if you don't make any profit: that is business income and the IRS will see it as such if you get audited.
If you only take enough money in to cover the cost of printing & shipping then you can write that off as a business expense and probably not pay taxes on it, But in order for that to fly you actually have to do business accounting, especially if you're doing it at scale. Like, you can probably skate by without reporting a $500 project; I absolutely would not fucking risk it with a $5000 project.
Back when I was producing shows there were years when I was where I made $20k in ticket sales only to turn around and immediately pay $18k to my performers. I only made $2k for myself, but I had to report the entire $20k, because it was ALL INCOME. (I only paid taxes on the $2000, because that's how writing off expenses works!)
Yeah this is boring grownup shit and I'm getting my boring grownup fingers all over your fun fandom, but boring grownups doing boring grownup things are the reason fandom spaces exist at all (paying for servers is deeply boring), and I'm way more fun than an audit
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