#i can't always root for feyre because of this

[littlemisssatanist]

my acotar unpopular opinions

taking this time to come out as an acotar reader. yes i've read all the books and i've spent way too much time thinking about it. i enjoy the books in the sense that i enjoy hating on many of the characters and loving a few of the others.

be forewarned inner circle fans. you will not like this.

rhysand is not a 'morally grey' character. he's a rapist and a groomer. he sexually assaulted feyre utm, he groomed her (reminder that she was 19 in acotar), and he withheld important medical information from her. 'you'll always have a choice' my ass.

nesta telling feyre about her pregnancy was not a bad thing. why do people act like it is? 'oh she did it to hurt feyre' hurt her by doing what? revealing the lies that her beloved husband had woven? revealing the fact that she'd die giving birth? the fact that rhysand told literally everybody but feyre?

mor is not the champion for women everyone thinks she is. this i will give to sjm it is truly impressive to make a character like women and still be a pick me. i'm not even going to go into her whole weird ass relationship with her dad (i still don't understand why she wouldn't just kill him. 'oh rhys needed the army' rhys is supposed to be the most powerful high lord ever. either admit he's a fucking loser or give me an actual good reason for this) or the fact she's seemingly incapable of doing anything to help the women in the court of nightmares, but everytime she was mentioned, i had to let out a heavy sigh and rub my temples.

on a similar topic. i liked eris. like a lot. out of all the acotar characters sjm has written, eris is by far my favorite.

the inner circle needs to sit the fuck down. they are the most hypocritical bitches i've ever met. they like to think themselves high and mighty. reading them make fun of lucien's band of exiles while their name is literally 'court of dreamers' was the most infuriating thing ever. and then they have the gall to be insulted when called out. don't dish what you can't take.

out of all the inner circle, the only one i don't hate is azriel. this is simply because he is the only one who hasn't opened his big fat mouth and done something bad (except if you maybe count his whole thing with elain). cassian is on my hit list. it's on sight with cassian.

nessian is sjm's worst ship and i will stand by that. lucien/nesta could have been so much. 'nesta would have ripped lucien apart' and cassian was your first choice? not even azriel was considered? like be so for real right now. sjm didn't see the potential of lucien/nesta and i will forever mourn that.

sjm is a terrible writer. i'm not saying this to be mean but she seriously just sucks at it. that being said i admire her ability to still make millions of dollars off her shitty writing. as a woman, i am rooting for her. as a reader, every day i wake up a shoot a prayer to the heavens begging the gods to not let sjm write any more books from the inner circle's pov.

lucien/elain is better than azriel/elain. argue with the wall.

eris/azriel is better than azriel/elain. you can kiss my ass.

NESTA/ERIS IS BETTER THAN RHYSAND/FEYRE. i know this because i have been enlightened.

feyre is a victim to rhysand. that being said, she is also a major bitch. both can be true because these things are not mutually exclusive. i wish she could make friends outside of the ic like nesta did, but i know that's unlikely.

feyre's pregnancy storyline was completely useless and went against her whole character.

acomaf retconned everything about tamlin and feyre's relationship in order to make more money. idc.

tamlin gets a ridiculous amount of hate. rhysand is hypocritical. so tamlin locking feyre in a house because she wants to ride out with him into potential danger is terrible and abusive, but rhysand locking nesta in the house of wind for... *checks notes*... having sex and spending money on alcohol is helping her? what?

[ae-neon]

I find it incredible how a crack ship like rhysta has more traits in common than the two canon ships f/eysand and n/essian

I think I can understand why fans of those ships like them but I also think sjm's writing is so weak I can't get over how shallow the canon ships end up being.

The potential is there but she always fails to fully develop the individual halves so the whole just ends up looking like 60% [aesthetics + 5 quotes/scenes] and 40% [fanon or lost potential]

I won't talk about Nessian because I cannot stand the fundamental Taming of the Shrew dynamic behind the ship. It was never gonna gonna get me.

So let's talk F.eysand (in a surprisingly more positive light than I thought)

Like I said in another post, Rhysand being the younger sibling would have made F.eysand make so much more sense to me and given me something to root my understanding in.

One of my favourite moments of character clarity is Rhysand telling Feyre it was her defiance reminding him of Cassian that made him fall in love.

That speaks volumes. It tells us about him and his admiration for this downtrodden bastard boy who stole his clothes. It tells us a part of Rhysand feels helpless despite his power so he really appreciates powerless people who overcome that to be brave anyways.

But then it's retconned to him feeling Feyre was his mate even before she set foot in Prythian and I just... Like oh, nvm then, it's just an immaterial magical bond that doesn't care about who each person is that ties them together

And let's say you're a reader who really cares about mates and the bond, then the "like calls to like" nature of Prythians magic also makes rhysta and feyssian logical pairs with their own unique dynamics that would have been interesting to read

Also idk sjm just can't do enemies to lovers in my opinion. One party (the young woman) always feels like a victim whose healing is centred on becoming a suitable partner for the mmc instead of genuinely working through their trauma

I mean Feyre goes from nightmares of UtM to being in that same outfit in the CoN (also under a mountain) and is simultaneously dissociating and but also okay and even empowered?? These things happen at best 3 months apart like ☹️ she's just a kid, it's actually gross

The argument for rhysta here is that Nesta has no UtM trauma, would not have been manipulated into playing sex pet even if she agreed to go to the CoN, would have some leverage because the IC needed her cooperation to reach the queens. It's not a complete dismantling of the set up but it feels less idk icky??

Like had Feyre been given more agency I could accept more, that's why I really think Frost and Starlight should have been a novella about Nesta going to the Continent and the next book in the series should have been Feyre with the Valkyrie plot so she can reestablish herself outside of being Riceball's plus one

I could go into smaller details but I think this is the general view of my issues. Also I don't really like Hades and Persephone, Good Girl Bad Boy vibes so there's that

[ninainthetardis]

⚠️⚠️⚠️ HoFaS spoilers ⚠️⚠️⚠️

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Be warned, this is going to be a rant.

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Ok, the HoFaS crossover was supposed to be exciting, but it ended up being another trigger topic for me thanks to the obnoxious N.esta stans who never hold her accountable for her wrong choices and always pick on the characters who stand up to her/call her out on her crap.

The thing is, I didn't even dislike her in this crossover, but I swear the moment her stans open their mouth, I go straight back to hating her. I don't even know how it is possible to be so clouded that they can't see/recognise when she's wrong or the hurt she causes/her actions may cause to other people. How they can always defend her without considering any other perspective/logic and proceed with the slander of any character that does not share her ideas or approve of her actions. Or how they demand respect for her trauma while ignoring/invalidating the one she inflicted to others.

The point in this case is: giving Bryce the mask WAS a dumb, rushed, risky choice. Stop ranting and insulting Rhys for his reaction, he was bloody RIGHT (also, Azriel was on that line too, why isn't he an asshole too?). I thought that immediately, even before reading the bonus chapter. You're even bashing Cassian for not defending her, as if she wasn't gambling with everyone's life because she somewhat liked Bryce and understood her desperate situation. Which could be admirable if it wasn't a lot hypocritical of her, considering that she barely moved a finger to help win their war against Hybern. And about that: isn't it time to wake up? It was Elain to end the King, N/esta just cut his head off once the hard part was done. And on top of that, both her and Cassian would be as good as dead without Elain's intervention. But why am I even bothering to talk about this...

And by the way, to those hating on Cassian, now here's a flash news: you do not have to defend your partner if you think they are wrong. It doesn't mean you don't love them, acting like the significat other is always right is not how support looks like. And N.esta can clearly speak for herself, maybe even too much, and with too much entitlement. You don't want to respond of your actions to Feyre and Rhys? Well, fucking leave the Night Court already! They're its rulers!!!

And Bryce's mom was the other one being totally out of line and acting entitled tbh and quite rude. I mean, you are in another world, in which your daughter made mess after mess, with people you need something from whether you like it or not, people you don't know and you talk that way? Not every bloody Fae is the Autumn King or the Avallen King! Someone really has to tell her AND Bryce, given that she passed that bias toward the entirety of the species to her. Generalisation is always wrong. And also, you know, it's a matter of good manners, and that issue was really none of her goddamn business. She could've spoken on N/esta's behalf using different tones, and it would have been a lot different.

Now, let's get back at the mask thing.

Honestly, I get that I was supposed to root for Bryce in this one, but she made it quite difficult for me when all she did in Prythian was putting that world in a danger she was very aware of. Like freeing an Asteri on Prythian soil, as if Vesperus would ever tell Bryce how to kill her own species. I get she was desperate, but it was just dumb and egoistic of her to do that, to risk to bring the same evil that plagues her world into another one, especially when there was no guarantee (quite the opposite actually) that by doing that she'd get the answers she was looking for.

Bryce had no reason to trust them, and they had no reason to trust her as well. Had Bryce failed, the consequences of giving her the mask would have been catastrophic. And I am not even going to mention Nyx's safety as a reason for Rhys to be pissed at N/esta. Rhysand and Feyre are responsible for the whole Night Court. And in this case, the whole of Prythian, AGAIN. There is a reason if they're the ones in charge, position that actually includes putting your people first and being able to make hard choices, even if they are morally grey choices, to protect their people. N.esta doesn't have such responsibility, and thankfully so because she would be terrible in that position. Moreover, they've just come out of a war, for Rhysand it was the second war he fought and after 50 years of UTM... but of course, why would N.esta care? She was somewhere safe almost the entirety of the time while Feyre - who died to save the very same world N.esta was endangering with her choice - was out fighting for everyone's safety. I am honestly shocked by how people refuse to even consider Rhysand's perspective, at least on this one. As if he knew Bryce and what she was capable of (and as if the whole resolution in CC wasn't due to pure luck, anyway) and have the slightest idea she might succeed. Also, Bryce had 10 other ways to manage the whole situation differently. Had she cooperated a little instead of proving to be a loose cannon, she might have had the chance to actually GET their help without having to take it by stealing and endangering Prythian. Trust goes both ways. They could have found a common ground or made a deal that ensured Prythian's safety and at the same time help Lunathion. Rhys and Feyre are sensitive to people who are suffering and would do something about it. There was no need to endanger Prythian in the process. But 1. They would've stolen the show and 2. Bryce's the one who left Baxian and Fury in Avallen or didn't think of calling Jesiba during the final battle against the Asteri, why would she think that someone as powerful as Rhysand and as knowning as Amren could be helpful anyway 🙄 her "Aelin wanna be" era failed miserably because she actually didn't have the skills, the drive, the strategic thinking and the experience to be like her, despite the efforts. But Bryce is a topic for another day.

This is my tea for today. It's been a year I'm part of this fandom and I've tried so hard not to rant/write about acotar just to avoid the toxic part of this fandom, but hey, patience has its limits, this is still my space and seeing all that "everyone" slander from the pro N.esta for no logical reason really got on my last nerve at this point.

[mhevarujta]

I saw for the first time someone claiming that Elain employs 'weaponized incompetence'.

That would entail that Elain is DELIBERATELY trying to not be competent to displace responsibility from herself.

We are talking about the same girl who wanted to ASSUME responsibility of her treatment of Feyre when people were pointing the finger only at Nesta.

The one who took the initiative when the circle was to meat the human queens, offered a meeting place, made the arrangements, even thought of using Graysen's house for the humans to find shelter, and overall always wanted to provide safe spaces to people in different ways.

The one who was kidnapped and yet subverted the 'damsel in distress trope' by grabbing Briar and kicking bloody the hound that was attacking Azriel.

The one who thought she was going crazy and yet started getting better fast from the moment she was given a reasonable explanation for her condition, despite still being unaware of what she was doing.

The one who is a woman of peace and didn't want a knife, yet used it with no hesitation to save her sister and Cassian.

The one who kept trying to not just sit, to help with the gardens, to bake, to learn to offer.

The one who wanted to scry herself and called out Nesta for doing to her exactly what everyone has been doing throughout her life and what this fandom doesn't seem to grasp: Suffocating her and yet judging her for being as she is.

Elain did not CHOOSE to have issues with asserting herself. She is not delighted by it. Her mother tried to raise her to be a pretty doll that she could take advantage of at the marriage market. His father treated her similarly. He was emotionally attached at least, but the way he fussed was not helpful for her to develop her personality. Despite their love for Elain, Nesta and Feyre learned to treat Elain just like their parents did. Even the Night Court has not given her responsibility and have excused her when she didn't want to be excused.

The fandom tried to act as if this is some deficiency rooted in who Elain as a person, but it's something that was forced upon her as if, just because of her kindness, she is fragile and breakable. For people who use (incorrectly) terminology relating to psychology, some fans have no scope or sympathy over how, especially during people's developmental years, personalities are shaped by the way one is being treated.

"ELaiN CouLd HaVe OppOseD ThEM. FeYrE and NEsTa ArE DiFFeReNT".

Nope. Feyre and Nesta are their parents creatures. Feyre supporting the family and making sure they don't starve WAS founded partly on her mother's request. Nesta had become the woman that many initially disliked by being raised on their mother's knee. The problems their upbringing held for each were dealt with throughout their respective arcs with both of them having ALREADY gotten their own novels and they are still not completely free of them despite doing better, because ultimately you can't just completely throw away the way you were raised. Neither of them were like Elain because they weren't treated like Elain was.

I genuinely think there are double standards when it comes to the way Elain's character and her potential are evaluated, and the intentionality that is attributed to what is actually a STRUGGLE for her is a very shallow and short-sighted interpretation of her predicament.

I can't wait for the day her book will make many take a fork and a knife and eat their words.

[tswaney17]

I Do Bad Things with You - Part 41

Happy 3rd Anniversary, IDBTWY!! 🎉 I can't believe we're celebrating three years of this fic. This journey has been incredible and I'm so excited (and a little sad) to say that we are close to finishing this story. I'm very close to getting this on a regular publishing schedule. But in the meantime, please check out the art I had commissioned by the incredible SnCinder here. 💙💚💜

My fanfic account: @tswaney17fics​​​

My ao3 account: tswaney17

Please let me know what you think about this update. I love getting your feedback. Constructive criticism is always welcome. 💕

Catch up here.

Credit to @featherymalignancy for Cassian’s nickname, Cash. 😘

Trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault , language, NSFW

Word Count: 12,145

It was three days before their wedding and the only thing Azriel felt was utter bliss. He couldn’t believe that in just a short time, he would have Elain as his wife. Even though they were eloping to the Summer District, they’d been head down in wedding plans over the last month.

Elain and her sisters went shopping for her dress a few weeks ago, finding—according to El—the perfect dress that didn’t require any alterations. She refused to let him see it, claiming that even though they were eloping, the rules of bad luck still applied. He had to snort at the notion, but Az would admit that not knowing what she was wearing had him curiously wondering what it would look like. He pictured many different styles in his head, all of which Elain was absolutely stunning in.

He had been in charge of the rings, Elain claiming that if he could pick out the most perfect engagement ring, then she trusted him fully to select her wedding band. His jeweler managed to match the style of her ring, adding a few extra smaller diamonds to the set. He selected a titanium, black band for himself, having Elain’s name engraved on the inside of it. Az thought the black and rose-gold colors would compliment each other well, and when he put them together, he knew he was right.

Now they were sitting on the jet, waiting for the rest of their family to arrive. Rhys and Feyre were not far behind them in getting to the airstrip. Nuala and Cerridwen—as he and Elain had decided were family—were also joining them. The Moonbeam twins picked them up from the penthouse and were also coming along, both as security and because Elain considered them like family as well. All that was left was Cassian, Nesta, and Sutton.

The new parents decided that since they could travel by private jet, they felt comfortable bringing their new baby on board—since neither of them wanted to miss their siblings getting married. When they boarded, looking slightly disheveled, they apologized for the delay, claiming Sutton was fussing and they struggled to get her to calm down.

Elain moved towards her sister, taking her niece from Nesta’s arms. “Hello, beautiful girl,” she cooed, snuggling into the baby.

Azriel watched as his fiancée’s maternal instinct took over, soothing the child when she started to fidget.

Cassian approached his side, taking in the scene between his sister and daughter. “She’s a natural mother. You’ll be eternally grateful for that instinct deeply rooted in her when you two have kids.”

He didn’t bother responding, not even knowing if Elain wanted kids. Az had been waiting for her to bring it up, but when she hadn’t even after they got engaged, he started to believe that perhaps she was happy just being an aunt. She had put so much work into her career, he wouldn’t blame her for not wanting to take away from that. Even though he had some deep desire to get Elain pregnant, to watch her grow with life inside of her, their children, he didn’t want to put that pressure on her if it wasn’t something she wanted.

So, he didn’t say anything at all, content to just live with her.

“Do you want something to drink?” he asked his brother instead.

Cash saw the change in the subject for what it was, shaking his head with a sigh, but let it go. “Sure.”

Azriel popped a bottle of champagne, serving everyone a glass aside from Nesta who declined because she was still breastfeeding and took the flute of sparkling cider in replacement.

“To the bride and groom,” Rhys announced, raising a glass.

He wrapped an arm around Elain’s waist, tucking her into his side while she held their niece in one arm and her champagne in the other. It was hard not to picture them as a little family, but he gripped that dream in a fist until it was a fleeting thought. He wanted nothing more than to marry the love of his life and wouldn’t let anything ruin it.

~~~~~

As soon as their flight landed and they arrived at the house—their entire family in disbelief at what they had purchased—everyone was tasked with something for the wedding. Meeting with the caterer, getting the arch and chairs they rented for the ceremony delivered, confirming the photographer, checking in with the florist on Elain’s bouquet, the petals that Nesta would help Sutton toss along the beach, and arrangements for the tables they were setting up on their courtyard.

There was one other thing Elain still had to do, pulling Cash aside before the rehearsal dinner.

“What’s up, Ellie?” he asked, a look of concern on his face.

Pink touched her cheeks, the only hint of her nervousness. “So, I know you’re Az’s best man, but you have been such an important part of my life. You’ve always protected me and taken care of me, especially when I felt utterly alone in the world. I was wondering—or hoping—you would walk me down the aisle tomorrow before you stand next to Azriel?”

Shock rippled across Cassian’s face. It was obvious that he had not been expecting her to ask him that. “Elain,” he said, emotion clogging his voice. “It would be my absolute honor to walk you down the aisle.” Tears lined his eyes as he pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly.

“Thank you, Cash,” she murmured, trying and failing to hold back her tears.

That night, Azriel and the other men stayed in the guest house, giving the main one to the girls.

“No strippers, boys,” she said as they tugged Az away from her.

“The same could be said for you,” Rhys called out, giving her a wink.

Her fiancé growled, slapping his brother up the side of his head.

Elain laughed. “Believe me, the only man I want to see stripping is staying with you.”

“I’m happily taken, Ellie!” Cash called out flashing the cheekiest of grins.

She could only shake her head at their antics, returning to the main house where the girls were waiting for her with drinks, games, and a bride-sash.

“Since we didn’t have time to host a bridal shower and bachelorette party beforehand, we’re improvising,” Feyre announced, throwing the sash over her head and guiding her to the living room where they had decorated for their little party.

The whole night was perfect, celebrating her final night as an unmarried woman.

The next day was filled with a flurry of commotion, everyone getting ready for the wedding. Feyre had stuck Elain in a chair and was painting magic on her face while Nuala and Cerridwen worked on her hair, curling it into gorgeous beach waves and tying half it up into a knot at the crown of her head. They wove flowers into the knot atop her head and behind her ear.

When she looked in the mirror, Elain gasped. It was beyond stunning the work they had done on her. “Thank you,” she whispered, trying to hold back her tears so she didn’t ruin her makeup. “All of you. I’m so grateful to have you all here with me.”

“There’s nowhere else we’d rather be, Ellie,” Nesta told her, hugging her from the back. “Come on, let’s get your dress on.” Her sister walked over to the garment bag and unzipped it.

Untying her white robe, Elain slipped on the dress behind the partition, coming out only to have help buttoning up the back. The dress was simply gorgeous. The bodice was made up of floral lace, plunging to just above her belly button while keeping her modestly covered. Delicate, thin straps of the same floral pattern went over her shoulders to the scooped back. The tulle skirt gathered at her waist, adding a layer over the lace skirt that sucked into her legs. It gave her this gorgeous silhouette under the gown.

Elain would go barefoot for the ceremony on the beach, wearing jeweled barefoot sandals that hooked over her middle toe and around her ankle. She had a pair of white heels she’d put on for the reception in the courtyard, once she was back on solid ground.

She slipped on the halo sapphire and diamond earrings that Azriel had gifted to her for her birthday—the only jewelry she wore aside from her engagement ring. They were one of her something blue, the other a cobalt garter in testament to Az’s favorite color. Grabbing the perfume she bought specifically for the wedding, Elain gave herself a few sprits, letting the delicate jasmine scent wash over her before making her way downstairs to the living area where Feyre, Nesta carrying Sutton, and Cash were waiting for her.

“Elain,” Cassian said her name with such reverence that she almost broke down right there. “You look so beautiful.”

Her pink lips pulled up into a joyous smile. “Thank you, Cash.” She hugged him, careful not to smudge her makeup on his suit jacket.

“Ready?” Feyre asked, handing her the blush-colored bouquet of peonies. The florist had done a stellar job with the bridal bouquets and centerpieces for the table.

“I’ve never been more ready for anything,” she said. Elain had waited for a decade to marry Azriel. Her excitement to finally get the chance left her breathless.

Though Feyre was Elain’s maid of honor, she walked down the aisle first since Nesta was carrying the flower girl.

Elain watched her sisters walk through the courtyard, out to the beach where they had set up the arch, decorated with more flowers. Where Azriel awaited her.

Cassian helped her out the door, holding a bit of her dress for her so it didn’t drag too much until they reached the edge of the courtyard and waited for the queue with the change of the music.

Elain and Azriel had picked strictly piano pieces to use for their ceremony and reception. It was fitting to them since that was how he proposed and they spent countless hours listening and him playing it.

Her brother fixed her dress one last time before offering her his arm. “Thank you for choosing him,” he said so quietly she almost missed it.

She furrowed her brow looking up at him, waiting for him to continue.

“I always worried that Azriel would never find happiness after high school. I watched my brother enter this cruel world intending to own it, even if it destroyed him in the very process. I thought I was going to lose him for a while…He’d been so depressed, I worried for his life.” Those pain-filled eyes looked down at her.

She knew Az had some internal struggles, but she didn’t know how bad it was. It broke her heart to hear that Cassian had feared for Az’s life.

“The one thing he never lost was his love for you,” he continued, likely noticing her inner sorrow, but needing to tell her this anyways. “And I’m so thankful that you forgave him for his past mistakes. The only time I ever saw Azriel happy was when he was with you, Elain. You are the world in which he revolves around. His entire being is to keep you safe and to love you, unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before.

“Thank you for loving him in the way he deserves but never letting himself have.” Cassian’s eyes misted over by the time he finished and she struggled to not let herself cry at the confession.

“He is worth loving,” she admitted, looking out towards the beach like she could see him from where she stood.

“That he is,” Cassian murmured as the music changed, indicating it was time.

The few steps to the beach seemed like a lifetime until she turned the corner and saw him standing at the altar, waiting for her.

Even this far away, she could hear his choked sound at the sight of her. His face crumpled in elation as he wiped tears from under his eyes.

Elain’s hold on her damn broke and she let out a sob, face splitting in the most adoring grin. Only Cassian’s firm grip on her arm prevented her from running down the aisle and leaping into his arms.

After what felt like an eternity, Cassian was leaning over to kiss her cheek, and offering her hand to Azriel before taking his place at his side.

She handed off her bouquet to Feyre so she could take his hands.

Unable to help himself, Az leaned forward to brush his lips on her cheek before he gently pulled her forward until she was facing him. “You look…” he paused, silver-lined eyes scanning her from head to toe. “I have no words to describe how exquisite you look, El. You’re radiant.”

She choked on her laugh, her face morphing into actual rays of sunshine. “Thank you, Az. You look beautiful, too.” And she meant it. He had on a brand-new suit, cut to every defined muscle. He wore a crisp, white button-up underneath the jacket with a blush-colored tie around his neck. Even the peony boutonnière contrasted perfectly with his tanned complexion.

Rhys cleared his throat, recapturing their attention. He gave them a knowing smile. “It brings me great joy to officiate the wedding between Azriel Knight and Elain Archeron. Azriel, my brother, you have been a part of my family since we were kids. Though our relationship started rocky—”

“You beat the snot out of me that first night,” Az muttered making everyone laugh.

Their brother waved a hand. “Semantics. It didn’t take us long to warm up to each other, finding that brotherly bond we both needed. I’m grateful every day that we took you in—that we became family.”

Those violet eyes turned to her. “Elain, my darling Elain. You have always been like a little sister to me. Even before Feyre and I started dating and later got married, you’ve held this special place in my heart to love, to protect. When you and Azriel began dating in high school, I was ecstatic because I always hoped you would one day become a part of my family. And you’re now a part of it in more ways than one.”

She released one of Az’s hands to grip Rhys’s forearm, squeezing it once before returning it to her fiancé. 

“I’ve never met two people more perfect for each other. Where one hides in the shadows, the other shines. You two lift each other up in the best of ways and I have no doubt in my mind you will build the most perfect life together. I believe you both wrote your vows. Elain, if you would please go ahead.”

Her brown eyes, reflecting pools of gold in the setting sunlight looked at her husband-to-be. “Azriel, you are the strongest, most considerate man I have ever known. Our love has definitely been tested to limits that most couples never experience, but I know that makes us more solid in the foundations of our marriage.” He chuckled at how true it was. “I know that when in moments of hopelessness, you will lend me your strength. In times of sorrow, you will give me your love. When the world around me becomes too loud, you will hold me close and protect me.

“You are so many things that it sometimes makes my head spin because how could you possibly be every dream I wished for myself to find in a lover? You have broken down every fear; every mark on my life and filled it with joy. I will love you with my entire being because you deserve that from me. You deserve to feel my elation in the life we have created together. I love you more than words could ever express. My life partner. My friend. My soulmate. My husband.” Tears rolled down her cheek and he reached out, swiping them away, ignoring how his face was also wet from waterworks.

Rhys turned to his brother. “Azriel, would you please say your vows?”

He took a steadying breath. “Fuck, I should’ve gone first,” he said quietly to her.

She couldn’t help but tip her head back and laugh.

“Elain Archeron.” Her name curled on his tongue. “You are, without a doubt, the light of my life. A decade ago, I made the biggest mistake of my life by letting you go and the gods know I didn’t deserve your forgiveness for it, but you gave it to me anyways. I sometimes have to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming. To verify you’re actually here with me.” She squeezed his hands in reassurance. “You have the most generous heart I have ever seen; have ever had the pleasure of being held within.

“You claim that I am strong, but my strength comes from you. Your resilience is unparallel. You have made me a better man, one who will love you faithfully even after we are but dust in the wind. I promise to share my life with you. To hold you in times of need and when you require a sturdy presence. I promise to help you pursue your dreams. To take you on adventures and everything else your heart desires. I consider myself the luckiest person in the world to get to call you mine. My light. My heart. My love. My wife.”

Rhys had to wipe a tear from his eye, clearing his throat to rein in the emotion he was feeling. “May I have the rings?”

Cassian slipped behind Azriel to hand his other brother the two rings.

Rhys handed them each one. “Elain, do you take Azriel to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold? In sickness and in health? From now and forever?”

“I do,” she said, sliding the black band onto his scarred ring finger.

“And do you, Azriel, take Elain to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold? In sickness and in health? From now and forever?”

Az’s dazzling smile lit up the world around them. “I do.” He slipped the beautiful rose gold band onto her delicate finger.

Rhys clapped his hands together. “Well, thank god for that!” he teased. “By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.”

The powerful male in front of her stepped forward, slinking one hand around her waist, the other cradling her head, and pressed his lips on hers.

Elain felt her back arch as he leaned them over, gently prying her mouth open so his tongue could slip inside. The kiss was languid like they took the time to learn about each other as husband and wife. Her fingers went to his nape, ruffling the hair there.

Time slowed as if even the world paused for that kiss. The kiss that certified them as one. A unit. And when they finally broke apart, when the sounds of their family’s cheers entered their ears, neither could look away from the other. An unbreakable chain linked between their souls, connecting them in the most intrinsic of ways.

He was hers and she was his. Now and forever.

“I love you, Elain,” he whispered, bringing her back in for another kiss, arms going around her lithe body to lift her off the ground.

She erupted into a fit of giggles, eyes shining with more tears, with love, with devotion for the man in front of her.

“Ladies and gentlemen, may I present for the very first time, Mr. and Mrs. Azriel and Elain Archeron-Knight!”

Grabbing her bouquet, she took Azriel’s hand as they walked back down the aisle toward the house. But about halfway back, he leaned down and lifted her over his shoulder, making her squeal. “Azriel!” she shouted, laughter echoing around them. “Put me down!”

He hauled her over his body until he was carrying her bridal style. “No,” he grinned, leaning forward to kiss her as he made the trek back into the courtyard.

Elain welcomed the kiss, wrapping her arms and the bouquet around the backside of his head and holding him there for a few extra seconds. The flash of the photographer lit up their bodies, but they didn’t care as they just held each other’s stare. She traced her index finger over his cheek. “Hi husband,” she whispered shyly.

His smile was too infectious to not beam back at him. It made him look so young, boyish. “My wife,” he murmured, nudging his nose into hers. Azriel set her back on her feet, pulling her close and never letting go.

~~~

Azriel was her husband. Elain couldn’t believe that after everything they’d been through—waiting a decade for this moment—it was finally here. Everything about this moment was completely different from anything she ever shared with Graysen.

Graysen’s priority had always been himself. She didn’t even think she was in his top five important things in his life. Their entire relationship had been based on their fathers’ friendship and a setup—and she had just let it go on, not really living, but simply existing.

It was nothing like the life, the love, she’d built with Azriel. This had been wholly hers. Her decision, her choices, her life.

They’d only been married for a few hours and she couldn’t help but think of how well it suited him. He couldn’t keep his hands off her (more than he normally couldn’t). Taking her hand in his large one, setting one on her thigh while they ate, tugging her onto the makeshift dance floor by the edge of the pool. Whatever they were doing, he couldn’t seem to let her go.

And she had no desire for him to stop. Currently, she was tucked into his arms under the twinkling lights as they swayed to the soft piano music. Her hand was curled in his, head resting on his chest as she listened to his thundering heartbeat.

Every once in a while, she’d let out a contented sigh and found herself somehow melting further into his embrace. He tucked her under his chin, giving him ample opportunities to lean down and press his lips to the crown of her head.

Elain had wrapped her arm around his waist, sliding it under his suit jacket so her palm laid on the backside of his button-up. Her fingers would flex, pressing the pads of them into the strong muscles of his back.

It was late evening. Nesta retired to the house earlier, taking a sleeping Sutton to lay her down, and never returned. Cassian followed shortly after, looking for his wife, and if Elain had to guess, found her asleep still in her dress.

Fenrys and Connall had sat with Cerridwen and Nuala on the porch patio and were chatting. Had been nearly all evening, but not before each of them took her and Azriel for a round on the dancefloor.

Her other sister and husband were twirling next to them, enjoying the soft sounds of the night around them.

Azriel pressed his lips to the top of her head again. “Would you like to head in now?” he asked her quietly.

Elain tipped her face up, a beautiful smile painted on her pink lips. “Sure.”

He gave her a soft kiss before leading her not to the main house, but to the adjacent one. She looked at him with confusion when he glanced over his shoulder at her. “I thought we could take the guest house tonight, so we don’t have to worry about anyone overhearing us.”

A cheeky smile threatened to turn up her mouth. “Azriel Archeron-Knight, are you trying to get into my skirt?” she teased, giggling.

He flashed her a heated look. “Always.” And then swung open the door.

Elain couldn’t stop the gasp that escaped her, taking a single step forward. But before she could even get to the doorway, she was scooped up into his arms and carried over the threshold. She squealed in delight, wrapping her arms around his neck as he carried her in, kicking the door shut behind him.

The whole place was lit up with candles. Rose petals littered the floor, leading up the stairs and, what she assumed would be into a bedroom.

“Az,” she cried, eyes wide in astonishment. “Did you do this?” she asked as he set her back on her feet.

His hands came down onto her shoulders, thumbs swooping over the bare skin. “I had some help,” he admitted. “After our poker game last night, the guys helped me set up the candles. Nuala and Cer came in during the reception to sprinkle the rose petals and light everything.”

“It’s beautiful,” she told him. And it was, completely and totally romantic. Turning to face him, she kissed him hard. Her tongue slipped into his mouth, stroking his.

Azriel gripped her rear end, molding the flesh to his scarred palms and making her whimper. He sucked her bottom lip between his teeth, the sensation pulling a heeding sound from her throat. Breaking off the kiss, Az took her hand and led her up the stairs toward the bedroom.

The bed wasn’t their usual size, but Elain had no doubt he could worship her like how she imagined he would.

Taking his phone from his pocket, Az turned on the same music they had playing all evening.

Her lips quirked up in the corner. “Setting the mood?”

He chuckled. “Something like that.” Azriel flicked his wrist in a circular motion. “Turn around.”

She did as requested, turning to give him access to her back.

His fingers slid into her thick, soft hair, plucking the loose flowers from her locks. He pulled the pin from her knot, letting the rest of her hair drape down her back. Gently, those scarred fingers grazed over her scalp, massaging.

Elain hummed in pleasure.

Azriel swept her hair over her shoulder, giving him access to the line of buttons that ran down her spine. He took his time opening each one, kissing at the patch of creamy skin it revealed as he went until he reached the final one just above the swell of her ass. “May I?” he asked her, fingering the delicate straps.

She nodded. “Please.”

Azriel slowly dragged her dress down her body, offering his shoulder to help her step out of it. His eyes dragged over every inch of the white lingerie she wore, all the way down to the cobalt-colored garter that adorned her luscious thigh. “Fuck me, Elain,” he groaned, moving to hang her dress up before turning to look back at her.

She appreciated he took extra care to hang her dress so it wouldn’t get ruined. Flashing him with a mirthful smile, she said, “I plan to.”

His long, powerful legs swallowed the space between them in two single strides as he crashed their lips together, nudging her toward the bed and carefully laying her down on top of it. He kissed her deeply, with long, sensual strokes from his tongue until their mouths were bruised and swollen. His hands swept over her body, feeling the texture of the lace. “I believe I was supposed to take this off with my teeth,” he mumbled against her lips, thumbing the garter.

He kissed down her body, in the valley between her breasts, over the soft swell of her tummy, across her hip, and down her thigh to where the garter sat, leaving little marks as he went. She squirmed under his machinations, but he didn’t let up, taking his time with each place he sucked a bruise onto. His teeth clamped down on the frilly fabric, slowly dragging it down her knee, her calf, and off her foot, tossing it over his shoulder.

She laughed at the audacity of it.

Gripping her hips, he made his way back up her body, only stopping at her neck to lick and suck at her delicate skin.

Elain’s fingers got to work, shoving his jacket off his shoulders, followed by his tie from around his neck, but he stopped her from tossing it on the floor.

Taking the silk fabric, he smirked, telling her, “We’ll save this for later,” and set it aside on the bed.

Heat pooled between her legs at the promise. As of now, he had yet to tie her up, but Elain wouldn’t lie and say the idea hadn’t crossed her mind. To be immobilized by him and only him made her blood heat.

Sensing her growing need, he rolled his hips into hers, giving her just a taste of what was to come.

Azriel didn’t seem to know where to touch her first, so he kept his hands moving in possessive little touches across her body. Pinching her nipples, gripping her hips, spreading her lush thighs apart so he could settle more firmly into their cradle. No matter what he did, it just made her ache for him.

She needed to feel him. Feel his skin on hers, sliding against the lace of her lingerie. “Az,” she whined. “Take it off, please. I want to feel you.” Elain pushed at his shirt, trying to unbutton it.

He obliged her, rising to shed his button-up, and then flicked open his belt to strip out of his pants. Az seemed to care much less about his expensive suit than her dress, tossing the garments onto the floor. In his boxers only, he crawled over her.

Her hands scratched at his skin, sliding up his sides to hook around his shoulders. Elain prided herself in knowing his body thoroughly. She knew every scar, every ridge, every whorl of ink. So, when he lay back on top of her, she immediately noticed something new on his chest.

“You look so fucking beautiful, Elain,” he groaned into her neck, sucking on her pulse point.

But her hands were on his shoulders, pushing him up to get a better look at whatever he had added to his chest. Her eyes went wide in shock, finger tracing the new whorl of ink on his pectoral, right over his heart. Because, holy fuck, that was her name he added. “When did you get this?” she asked, her eyes flicking up to his in wonderment.

A smile curved up the corner of his mouth. “A few days ago.” Which, kind of explained why she hadn’t seen it since they agreed to hold off on sex the past week to make tonight more special. And why he wore a T-shirt to bed the last few nights.

“It’s my handwriting,” she deadpanned. How did he have this perfectly done?

A blush heated his cheeks as he looked down at her with such love and devotion, she felt it in the very marrow of her bones. “I took a photo of your signature on our marriage license and sent it to the artist to create a stencil. I wanted your essence imprinted on me forever. Your handwriting, your name, permanently marked over my heart where you belong.”

Elain was desperately trying to swallow the emotion that had choked her. This man. This wonderful, incredible, selfless man tattooed her name on his body to always keep her close to his heart. She didn’t think she could love him any more than she already did, but he continuously proved her wrong.

Leaning her head forward, she kissed him right over that ink, then cupped his face in her palms; let her thumbs trace lightly over the apples of his cheeks. “Make love to me, Azriel.”

He didn’t need to be told twice, taking her hands from his face and lacing their fingers together by the side of her head. He sucked and licked the soft swells of her breasts, plumped up from the lingerie she was still wearing. His mouth attached to her nipple through the lacy fabric, pulling the point deep into his mouth until her back arched.

She raised her hips, rubbing them together. The wet spot on her panties would’ve told him just how desperate she was for him. It matched the one on his boxer briefs.

Az released her hands to work on the straps of her lingerie, pulling the white lace off her until she was completely bare before him. His thumb gently stroked her slit, grazing her clit just so, sending bolts of pleasure through her body.

Elain’s fingers slid into his dark locks, mussing them as she tugged him closer to where she needed him.

“Tell me what you want me to do, El,” he groaned, sliding his nose into the crease of her thigh.

A hot, needy sound tumbled from her throat, but she said the words that she knew would elicit actions. “Feast, husband.”

He growled, lapping at her entrance before plunging his tongue inside of her. He licked and slurped at her like she was the last thing he’d ever eat. It felt so good, she was nearly delirious with pleasure. Sliding two fingers into her, he pumped slowly, stretching her. “You’re so fucking close already, I can feel you quivering around my hand.”

Elain threw her head back, eyes squeezed shut as she focused on the pull, deep in her gut. Her hips undulated into him and she tugged his head down to where she needed him. Wanted him. “Please, Az,” she cried.

Knowing exactly what she was asking for, he sucked her clit between his teeth, finally drawing her to the brink, and pushing her off.

Elain shattered on his tongue, screaming out his name and tightening her grip on his hair hard enough that he groaned against her, the vibrations sending her spiraling.

He didn’t stop until she went limp, licking every drop she gave him. Azriel looked up at her from between her legs, her release dripping off his lips, and fuck, did the sight have her body trembling for more.

Using his hair as leverage, she pulled him up her body until she could kiss him. Elain moaned at the taste of herself on his tongue.

Brushing hair off her forehead, he smiled down at her. “Hi, wife.”

Those words made butterflies erupt in her stomach, her heart pounding against her ribcage. Azriel could’ve made his vow to her from that look alone, with so much love and longing, Elain knew he was feeling the same emotions as she was.

She reached down, cupping him in her small palm and earning a hiss as he pumped into her hand.

“Still need more from me?” he teased.

“I need everything from you.”

Heat flashed in his eyes. Crawling off her, he stripped out of his boxers, that last piece of clothing between them, then resituated himself between her legs. Azriel rubbed himself over her drenched slit, coating him in her release and adding friction to her clit.

Elain’s head tipped back as a moan crested from her lips.

He took advantage of the exposed skin, attaching his mouth to her neck and sucking a bruising mark into her skin. She loved his love bites, loved when he covered her in his marks like he was staking a claim.

Blindly reaching, Az grabbed the tie from the other side of the bed and held it between them. “Do you trust me?”

The corner of Elain’s lips quirked up. “A little late asking me that since I just married you.”

He pinched her butt cheek in reprimand making her squeal.

“Yes, of course, I trust you.”

“Give me your hands.” It was a soft command, but she listened, bringing her palms forward and presenting them to him. Azriel wrapped the small end of his tie around her, binding her arms together at her wrists with the soft silk. “Is that too tight?” he asked, sliding a finger under the fabric.

She shook her head. “No.”

He kissed her fingers. “If you become uncomfortable at all, tell me.” And then he pushed her arms above her head. “Don’t move these.”

Elain felt herself shudder, stretching out her body as he leaned over her again, mouth going straight for her neck. Her husband’s neck kink was out in full force that night and she loved every bite, every swipe of his tongue on the sensitive skin.

His hips rutted into her, sliding himself through her lower lips and coating his cock with her arousal.

It was heavenly. From the sensual tug of his teeth and the friction he applied between her legs, Elain felt herself slicken even further. “Azriel,” she groaned, arms aching to go around his neck but remaining still above her head. “Please. I need you inside me.”

Grabbing her plump thigh, he hefted it onto his shoulder, splitting her open. The head of his cock nudged at her entrance before he rolled his hips, sliding into her with ease.

Her back arched as he entered her, his grunts of pleasure from her clenching around him only enticed her further.

“El, fucking hell. If you keep doing that, I’m going to come before I’m even seated,” he complained, lips pulling her pert nipple into his mouth and sucking.

She couldn’t stop the cry from escaping her as he filled her to the brim. His cock sheathed in her warm heat was better than any feeling. She couldn’t explain how the fullness made her whimper from pleasure but also feel at home at the same time. Elain wrapped her other leg around his hips, urging him to move.

And move he did. Long, slow thrusts had her seeing stars when he hit that spot deep inside her. Everything he gave her was measured, from how far he pulled out, to how fast he pushed himself into her.

She needed him harder. Deeper. “Fuck me, Azriel. Like you mean it,” she growled.

His teeth bit down on her nipple in reprimand and, fuck, did she feel it everywhere. Pain mixed with pleasure. But he did as she demanded, snapping his hips into hers and building her up, up, up until she teetered on the edge of her pleasure.

He released her nipple, lips traveling up her jaw to find her own as he thrust into her again. Az grabbed the large end of his tie, wrapped it around his hand, and pinned it to the wall as he fucked her harder, the headboard slamming into the plaster with enough force to leave a dent.

But she didn’t care. She didn’t care about the goddamn wall, or how her arms ached, or that their family might hear them if they were still outside. All she cared about was the wonderful, delicious feeling that grew low in her belly.

Azriel’s tongue licked up her neck, sucking her delicate skin. He angled his hips up to catch her clit with every thrust. It was what she needed to send her shattering into a million little pieces.

Elain’s cries were smothered by his mouth like he wanted to swallow every sound she made.

It only took a few more thrusts before he careened into his orgasm, spilling himself deep inside her, her body milking him.

Azriel collapsed on top of her, breathing heavily into her neck as she fought to catch her own. He brought his arm down, pulling her hands until he could slip his head between her arms. She carded her fingers through his damp hair, scratching at his scalp. He hummed in contentment.

They lay there for a while, snuggled into each other’s embrace, Elain brushing her lips on the top of his head.

After a few moments, he was tugging himself out of her sensitive center, kissing the wince away before sliding out of her arms and sitting up. Az carefully untied her silk from her wrists, dropping, even more, kisses to where they had been bound. “How was that?”

She hummed, a soft smile painted on her lips as she circled her free wrists. “That was better than amazing.”

“Better than amazing, hmm?” he murmured, nudging his nose into her cheek.

Affectionate Azriel was one of her favorites—his need for physical touch after they had sex always led to some cuddling. So, she was quite surprised when he began climbing off her. “Where are you going?” she complained, reaching out for him, but her weary arm fell to the mattress with a thud.

He chuckled, leaning down to kiss her lips once more. “I’ll be right back.” Azriel walked over to his suitcase, sitting in the corner of the room.

Elain rolled onto her side, propping her head on her fist, and watched him stoop down. “Nice ass, husband.”

Her comment had him laughing, deep and full-bellied. He glanced over his shoulder at her, humor dancing in those dark eyes. Grabbing whatever he needed from his bag, he walked back over to her with a mischievous grin. “Since this is our wedding night, I thought we could make it traditional in that we take your last virginity.”

She raised a brow. “Virginity? Az, what are you talking—” Elain paused, taking in the items he presented to her in his palms. The pink vibrator, a tube of lube, and a plug were cradled in his hands. “You want to take my ass?” she asked in disbelief.

“You make it sound so dirty,” he snickered, kneeling on the bed. “And only if you want to. I know we’ve discussed it lightly before, but I brought everything we’d need if you want to explore it.”

Pink rushed to her cheeks, dripping down her chest. She’d be lying if she said the idea hadn’t prickled her curious mind. Whenever he touched her there, her pleasure always intensified. It felt so forbidden, but so right at the same time. Her eyes traveled from the items still in his palms back to his face. “Okay,” she breathed.

Setting everything on the bed, he kissed her belly, smiling into her skin. “My good girl,” he murmured, the words igniting something inside her. “On your knees.”

Elain rolled over, rising onto all fours. Her stomach clenched in anticipation.

Az placed another kiss at the bottom of her spine, kneading her behind. “You have less give back here, so we’re going to take this nice and slow. But I need you to tell me when it’s getting close to being too much to handle, and when you’ve reached your limit. We don’t go past anything that you’re uncomfortable with. Okay?”

She nodded, flipping her hair over her shoulder to look back at him. “I understand.”

“Good girl. We’ll start with my fingers to get you stretched, then I’m going to try and insert this plug.” He leaned over her to show her the plug again. Elain ran a finger over the cool metal. “First off,” he started, setting the plug back on the bed, “we need to get you stimulated.” Azriel slid two fingers inside of her, wetting them with their combined releases.

Elain moaned as he thrust into her, filling her, stretching her. Pulling his digits from her cunt, her body clenching around nothing, he then slowly inserted the toy. They had only played with it a few times, but it had become one of her favorite things to pull out when they got hot and heavy. She waited in baited silence for that first vibration, jolting at the first flick from his fingers on his phone. Hips stuttering, she bowed her head, moaning.

“Easy, love,” he murmured, stroking up to her rosebud. Az worked her opening with his two fingers. The squeeze was tight, but then she felt him add a generous amount of lube, slickening her hole and allowing him to slip in both digits to his knuckle.

She whimpered, rocking back onto his hand. The sensation of his fingers pumping in and out of her, the vibrations from the toy in her pussy had her sprinting towards her next orgasm.

But as soon as he felt her crest, Az pulled out of her behind.

Elain was close to crying out when she felt the plug being pushed into her gaping back hole. Holy fuck, the plug was larger than his two fingers. She whimpered as her body stretched to accommodate the toy, bordering on painful.

“You’re doing so well, my good girl. Breathe, love.”

She took shallow breaths, eyes screwing shut. “Az,” Elain cried out his name. “It hurts.” Her fingers tightened on the sheets beneath her palms.

Immediately he pulled back slightly, giving her body some relief. “Do you want to stop, Elain?”

Did she want to stop? No—she didn’t. Elain wanted this. “No,” she breathed, head bowing. “Just give me a second.”

He kissed her sweaty back, reaching between her legs her to lazily rub at her clit.

“How much further until the plug is seated?” she panted, glancing over her shoulder at him.

Azriel’s burning gaze was already on her face, the hunger she saw nearly made her quiver. “About a half inch until you reach the jewel. Once it’s in, it shouldn’t hurt anymore.”

Elain swallowed, nodding. “Okay, go ahead.”

“Are you sure, El? We don’t have to do this.”

She reached back, grabbed his knee—the only thing she could grasp—and squeezed it. “I’m okay. I want to continue.”

Adding more lube to her back entrance, he continued, twisting the plug back and forth to add to the pleasurable sensation.

The break was exactly what her body needed, because, after another moment or two, Elain felt the plug settle into her ass. She moaned, toes curling at feeling so full.

“Good fucking girl,” Az groaned, circling her clit with his fingers. “You did so well, my love. Let’s get you to come, shall we?” Kicking up the vibrator, he gently tugged on the plug, not pulling it out but giving her a sensation of a thrust.

Her body shook, teetering on the edge of her orgasm. “Az, I’m so close. Please, please.” Tears rolled down her cheeks from the pleasure she felt. That deep pull in her backside, the vibrations. Everything inside her was pulled taut and ready to snap. So, when he twisted the plug, Elain shattered in a way she had never done before.

She screamed, her body quaking around everything. Wetness poured out from around the vibrator, coating her thighs. Unable to hold herself up anymore, she collapsed, face first, into her pillow, forcing Azriel to let go of the plug lest he accidentally pull it out of her.

Elain shook, and shook, and shook, the aftershocks of her orgasm running up and down her spine like ocean waves crashing along the shore.

His body sidled up behind her, tugging her limp form into his arms to whisper words of comfort into her hair.

“Turn it off,” she panted, the stimulation overwhelming enough that it was too much.

He moved quickly, releasing her to sit up and grab his phone.

Elain whimpered when the toy was switched off, her sensitive center aching. She was gathered back into his arms, her back pressed into his chest. His hard cock was digging into her backside, thankfully not adding any pressure to the plug.

She panted heavily, her entire body unnaturally boneless. It almost felt like she was hovering just outside of her physical form, not quite drifting back down from her high.

Azriel ran his scarred hands over her curves, soothing her to finally come back to him. he planted kisses on her shoulder, her neck, wherever he could reach with his mouth while keeping her secure in his embrace. “I’m here, El. Just breathe,” he murmured into her hair, making sure she could feel his presence.

It could’ve been minutes or hours before she finally collected enough pieces of herself to twist her neck and look at him over her shoulder.

A dopey smile was on his face at her blissed-out state. “Hello, love,” he whispered, gently kissing her lips.

“How long have we been laying here?” she asked, genuinely curious if she passed out.

He kissed her cheek. “About fifteen minutes.”

That had her blinking. She’d been out of it for fifteen minutes? Holy fuck.

His low chuckle had her eyes snapping back to his. “That was a rather intense orgasm for you. It’ll take a while for you to come down from it,” Az explained, reaching over her to cup the side of her cheek. His thumb swooped over her skin and she couldn’t help but lean into his touch. “How are you feeling?”

How did she feel? Elain wasn’t quite sure she could explain it, to be honest, but she tried anyways. “I feel—” she weighed her words, trying to find the best ones, “light, I suppose is a good way to put it. Like I drifted out of my body.”

“Did you enjoy it?” Of course, he would ask her that.

“It was overwhelming, but yes, I enjoyed it. A lot. I’ve never felt anything like that before.” Elain reached for his hand, lacing their fingers together. “Just give me a couple more minutes and then we can continue.”

He squeezed her palm. “Baby, we don’t need to go any further tonight. You’ve already been through a lot and I don’t want you pushing it—”

“I’m not, Az,” she interrupted him. “I want to try it with you. I’ve got one more in me tonight, but that’s it. And I want to share it with you.”

It was obvious he wanted to protest, but she didn’t let him. “You’ve only come once tonight. I want to be the reason you do it again. Please, Az. Just try. I’ll tell you if I can’t handle it.”

Scarred fingers brushed her hair behind her ear. “Okay, let me go get a towel before we attempt to pull the plug out.” He dropped another kiss on her shoulder. “I’ll be right back.” Sliding off the bed, Azriel padded to the bathroom, bringing back two bath towels.

She watched him place one at the end of the bed, and then unfolded the other, sliding it partially under her hips.

At her questioning look, he told her, “It might get a little messy and I’d rather not have to change the sheets tonight when we’re finished.”

“You’re not going to put me on my knees again?”

He resumed his position behind her. “No, I don’t think you have the energy for that right now. So, I’ll take you like this.” Propping her knee up, he traced the pads of his fingers over her hip, sliding until her could toy with her clit, lightly circling it. “Tell me when you’re ready. I’ll put the vibrator back on but will keep it low.”

Elain took a steadying breath. He was right, she didn’t have the energy to keep herself upright and she was incredibly thankful that Az could read her body better than she could. “I’m ready,” she said with conviction.

His thick arm slid under her waist, coming up to cup her breast, pinching her nipple just enough to send bolts of pleasure through her body.

She whimpered, pressing herself further into the cradle of his hips.

“Touch yourself for me,” he ordered, taking her hand when she brought it between her legs and showing her just how much pressure to apply. “Good girl. Just like that.” Releasing her, he reached back for his phone, kicking on the vibrator to a low setting.

Elain sucked in a breath, her body still slick with her arousal. When she felt the twisting on the plug, she couldn’t stop the low moan from escaping her throat.

“You’re doing so well, love. Just breathe for me. Nice and slow.”

Doing as he told her, she inhaled slowly, breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth as he carefully pulled the plug from her ass. As soon as it was gone, Elain whined, her body clenching around the open air.

Azriel cursed into her shoulder, applying lube to his hard cock. “Your body is begging for me, love,” he groaned, nudging the head at her back hole. He grabbed her thigh, hauling her bent leg into the air and exposing her to the cool air. “Tell me when you need me to stop.”

She didn’t. Elain relaxed her body as best as she could, taking him inch by glorious inch as he rocked himself into her. She reached back, gripping his hair at the scalp and holding him into her neck while he sunk deeper and deeper until she felt her rear end pressed into the cradle of his hips.

“Fuck, El,” he moaned. “You’re so fucking tight.”

Elain couldn’t form words. She was delirious with pleasure, edged with pain, and everything in between. It was life-altering, how full she felt with his cock buried into her ass. Nothing could compare to how good it felt to have him like this.

When he started to move, the only sounds she could form were heavy breaths and low moans. Her mind was a kaleidoscope of color as he thrust into her, his fingers digging into the back of her knee, holding her open for him.

His strokes were measured and deep, sliding nearly all the way out, and pushing in until he hit a spot inside her that had her gasping every time.

She needed more. She needed it faster. She needed to come. “Harder, Az,” she cried out, her face burying into her shoulder.

He picked up the pace, snapping his hips into her, his mouth latching itself onto her the back of her shoulder.

Oh, gods. Oh, gods, it was so good. Her hand left her clit to clutch the edge of her pillow, but he quickly replaced it, releasing her breast to slide his fingers down between her legs, tightening his circles on her.

Elain sobbed in pleasure, climbing higher and higher. It was too much. It wasn’t enough. She couldn’t think straight. Her name…what was it? Oh, fuck, he felt so good. She had no idea it could feel like this. “So good,” she moaned pathetically. Her body had turned to putty beneath his careful hands and his hard cock. Another whimper passed between her parted lips as she climbed up to the top of her orgasms, teetering on the edge of something she’d never felt before.

Azriel brushed his mouth to the shell of her ear. “I’ve got you, baby. Let go for me.”

His gruff words were her undoing as Elain dove headfirst into the largest orgasm she’d ever experienced. She squeezed the hair between her fingers, hard enough that he grunted into her neck, but she didn’t let go—couldn’t let go as she fell, fell, fell, all while he fucked her ass harder and faster, prolonging her pleasure.

Her face was soaked with tears, body pulsing around his cock.

It only took another thrust or so before Azriel came with a shout, pushing himself as deep into her as he could go to spill inside of her, claiming her ass as his. Her body convulsed around him, taking everything he offered her and more.

The sweat between their bodies rolled over her skin, but she didn’t care. She was too far lost in her mind to worry about anything but how incredible she felt.

His hot breath panted over her shoulder as he gently laid her leg over her body, keeping her knee still bent. Grabbing his phone, he switched off the vibrator. Az gave her a while to catch her breath, before he murmured into her ear, “I’m going to pull everything out. Slow breaths, love.” The words rattled in her skull but didn’t fully register. She was too lost in the sensations.

Bringing her leg back up, he reached between her thighs and gently tugged out the toy. It didn’t stop the whimper from escaping her lips.

“Easy, baby. We’re almost finished,” he whispered, his voice velvety soft and covering her like a warm blanket.

Removing himself from her behind was another story. Her body clamped onto him, causing her to cry out from her sensitive hole.

He slowed his movements, stroking her hips soothingly. “Relax, El. I need you to relax.” His hands gently swept over her body, helping her body come down.

She did, inhaling deeply until he managed to pull himself free. Elain felt incredibly empty without him in her, missing it already, but was too exhausted for anything else tonight.

Azriel pulled himself from behind her, leaning over her body to kiss her cheek. “Don’t fall asleep. We need to clean up first. I’m going to start the bath.” Gripping her chin, he turned her head and dropped a kiss on her swollen lips, smiling down at her before padding into the bathroom.

Elain heard the water turn on and then him rummaging through the drawers, looking for something if she had to guess. Frankly, she didn’t care. She just wanted to sleep. But as soon as she started to drift off, Az was hauling her into his chest, her arms sliding around his neck.

The scalding water made her flinch when it touched her overly sensitive butt. She whimpered again, tightening her hold on him.

Az hushed her, murmuring sweet nothings into her ear as he slowly sank into the tub.

Fuck she was so sore, but the heat of the water felt so good too. She nuzzled into his neck before allowing him to twist her on his lap so she sat between his legs. Elain rested her head on his shoulder while he washed her down.

“You did so well tonight, love. I’m proud of you,” he told her, kissing her temple. “Are you feeling all right?”

Elain hummed in contentment. “Fine, just tired.”

His chuckle reverberated through her spine. “We’ll get to bed soon. I need to clean up the mess first and blow out all the candles. Do you think you can manage sitting in the tub a bit longer while I take care of that?”  

“Mhmm.” She had no energy for anything else.

His soft laughter chased her in her dreams. Elain felt him climb out from behind her, carefully laying her back against the edge. “Don’t fall asleep, El.”

Good luck with that, she wanted to say but couldn’t. Her eyes had already drifted shut, but she could hear him opening the slider to the small balcony, letting in the fresh air, and then collecting all the items from their bed. She peaked an eye open, seeing him drop the toys in the sink to clean them.

Az didn’t bother to dress, standing nude at the counter as he took care of everything.

Gods, she loved him. He always did everything for her so she never had to worry about anything after sex.

Turning to face her, he grabbed a towel and knelt by the edge of the tub. “All right, love. Can you stand for me so I can dry you off?” He popped the drain, gripping her under the elbow to help her to her feet.

Elain swayed dangerously, making him lurch to hold her under her arm so she didn’t slip.

Az dried her off as best as he could, tossing the wet towel over to the sink before lifting her back into his arms and carrying her into bed, sliding them both under the covers he had pulled down.

She snuggled into his chest, lips pressing over his heart where her name was permanently tattooed. “I love you, Azriel.”

He held her close kissing the top of her head. “Sleep, my beautiful wife.”

But she was already gone, pulled by exhaustion into a dreamless slumber.

~~~~~

Azriel woke to sunlight streaming in from the white curtains across the balcony slider. The rays reflected in Elain’s golden-brown hair, strewn across her pillow. His beautiful, naked wife was curled up on her side, her back pressed into his chest. He was pretty sure his left arm was completely dead, but he didn’t care. Not when he woke up to her every goddamn morning of every day.

She was his wife.

Fuck, she was his wife.

He couldn’t believe he got to call her that forever now. Az didn’t know who he should be thanking for it, but he sent up his prayers to anybody who would listen. His arms were banded around her, one across her chest, the other slung over her waist. He tightened his hold on her, nuzzling deeper into her jasmine and honey scent. She always smelled so good.

The faint laughter of their family told him that they should probably get up soon—join them for breakfast before the jet flew everyone home. He and Elain were going to stay here for a few days before starting on their three-week honeymoon. They were flying to the Winter District first, staying in this dome-like cabin under the northern lights. From there, they would travel to the Spring District to go through its impressive rose gardens. Elain had always wanted to see them and he was obliged to give that to her.

Three whole weeks to themselves. Three weeks of traveling across the country, taking in different sights, sounds, and tastes.

Speaking of tastes, Azriel was greedy for the delicate taste of his wife. Breakfast before breakfast, he told himself, leaning in to kiss her bare shoulder. When she didn’t stir, he moved further into the junction of her neck. He swept his hands over her body, the black band on his fourth finger catching the morning rays.

Elain shifted then, murmuring something in her sleep. Still, she didn’t fully wake.

So, he moved his lips to her nape, kissing her there and nudging his nose into her.

She sighed softly, rolling back into his chest to look up at him. Elain flashed him a sleepy smile. “Good morning, husband.” Her voice was a whisper on the morning breeze.

Gods, when she called him that…he had never felt happiness like this. “Good morning, wife,” he told her, tone husky as he leaned down to claim her lips.

Elain responded to his ministrations eagerly, allowing him to roll on top of her. Her fingers wove into his mussed hair. “What time is it?” she asked as he kissed down her throat to the center of her chest.

Az looked up at her, her brown eyes already dark with lust. “Mid to late morning if I had to take a guess. Everyone else is up. I can hear them.” His tongue darted out to lap at her nipple, sucking the point deep into his mouth.

She sucked in a breath, arching into him and pushing her breast further between his teeth. “Az,” she moaned.

He slipped further down her body, settling between her thighs. His thumb stroked her slit, feeling the wetness that had gathered there already. “Hush, love. You have to be quiet or our family is going to hear you while I enjoy my breakfast.”

At the first swipe of his tongue, Elain clapped a hand over her mouth, eyes screwing shut.

Azriel chuckled against her, throwing her legs over his shoulders and setting a brutal pace. He licked her entrance, plunging his tongue in and out of her, then slid up her slit to suck her clit.

Elain grabbed a handful of his hair, moaning against her palm as she writhed against his mouth, fucking herself on his tongue.

He loved when she took her pleasure from him, rode him to her heart’s content like she was doing now.

With her grip on him, Elain undulated her hips into him, positioning his mouth where she wanted him—needed him. When she tugged him to her clit, he sucked it hard, careening her into her orgasm.

She came with a muffled cry, body going limp into the mattress.

Swiping his tongue up her slit one more time, Azriel kissed his way back up her body, bringing his mouth to hers and letting her taste herself.

Elain hummed, hooking an ankle over his hip and flipping them over. Straddling his waist, she kissed him again. “My turn.” Following a similar path he took, Elain made her way down to his aching cock, at attention and eagerly waiting for his wife’s delectable mouth.

“Fuck, Elain,” he groaned at the first lick.

She smirked at him from between his legs. “Quiet now. You don’t want our family to hear you while I eat my breakfast,” Elain teased, repeating his words back to him.

“Let them,” he growled, sucking in a breath when she swallowed him whole. Fuck, he brushed the back of her throat in her bobbing. Azriel grabbed her hair, holding it at the back of her head and off his thighs. He wanted to watch her suck him.

And suck him she did. Elain’s cheeks hallowed, taking him deep into her mouth and swirling her tongue around his shaft. The warmth was fucking heavenly. “Baby, I’m going to come,” he warned her, feeling the pull low in his belly.

It should be embarrassing how quickly he’d orgasm when she put her mouth on him, but frankly, he didn’t care about staving off when she fucked him with her mouth. It felt too good to stop. “El…”

Feeling him at the precipice of his orgasm, she took him as deep as her throat would allow, finishing him off with a final draw from her mouth.

Az came with a groan, spilling down her throat.

Elain pulled off him with an audible pop, swallowing everything he gave her.

Fuck he loved her. He said as much, grabbing her under his arms and hauling her up his body to kiss her roughly. “You have no idea how much I want to be buried inside of you right now, but we should probably get down there to see the family off. I have housekeepers coming today to clean this place.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck. “We should definitely put away the toys from last night before they get here.”

He laughed, alerting the others to their woken state because a few minutes later, Cash was banging on the front door, shouting, “Lovebirds, get up! I’ve got breakfast ready.”

“We’re coming!” he growled back, making Elain giggle into his chest. “Come on wife, let’s get dressed.”

Half an hour later, they were cleaned up, dressed, and making their way across the yard to the back patio where his brother had served up a ton of food. Bacon, eggs, potatoes, toast, fruit, and every breakfast drink you could imagine.

Azriel pulled out a chair at the table for Elain, pushing her in before taking a seat next to her. He grabbed platters of food, piling various things onto her plate before his own.

“Elain, you look incredibly well-rested,” Cassian said.

He froze in the middle of scooping fruit, eying his brother in suspicion.

El blinked at his brother. “I am Cash. Thank you.”

He knew it wasn’t a compliment based on the tone of voice. “Cash, if you ever want to have children again, I suggest you not voice whatever is sitting on the tip of your tongue,” he warned.

His wife glanced at him, brows furrowed. “What?”

But Cassian just threw an arm around Nesta’s shoulders, smirking. “I’m just saying, if she’s well-rested, then you must’ve not done your job last night well enough.”

Elain’s cheeks turned pink at the comment, but before he could throw the platter at his ass of a brother, she said, “Cash, perhaps you shouldn’t be so boastful. You should know that women tell each other everything.” Elain propped her cheek on her fist, staring his brother down. “And I mean, everything.”

He glanced at her, unsure of whatever it was she had on his brother, but he was curious. And the look that Cash shot her was not one of pride, but rather one of caution.

“You don’t know anything,” he dared.

His wife’s smile was nothing short of chilling.

“Oh, really? I wouldn’t be so quick, to assume.”

Cassian’s face went pale and he whipped his head to Nesta who was trying not to smile, patting her daughter’s back. “You told her?!” he accused.

Nesta buried her face into the side of Sutton’s head, trying to hold back her laugh.

Feyre raised a glass across the table. “I can back, Elain.” The younger Archeron winked at his wife, sipping from her mimosa.

Cash gaped at the three women. “I can’t believe you told them,” he grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest like a petulant child.

Nesta patted his thigh. “It was years ago, babe. Who cares?”

“I care,” he muttered, looking put out.

Azriel reached under the table to grip Elain’s thigh, pouring her a mimosa from the pitcher on the table.

She slid her hand into his, lacing their fingers together. Picking up her glass, she clinked it on his, her smile brighter than pure sunshine.

He couldn’t stop himself from leaning down to kiss her, oblivious to the whoops and hollers from their family. Az ignored all of that and just let himself enjoy the moment with his gorgeous wife.

~~~

A few hours later, the newly married couple was lying on the beach, soaking up the sun’s warmth. He had dragged out two lounge chairs, sitting them side by side in the sand. Elain looked ridiculously good in her high-waisted bikini.

He had thoroughly ravished her body last night, her creamy skin plastered with his claiming marks. A few were covered by the swimsuit, but the ones on her neck, her ribcage, between the swells of her breasts remained visible.

Fuck she looked sexy covered in his bites.

And Elain didn’t seem to mind them showing, walking out of the house with the confidence of a queen.

Az had groaned at the sight of her. “I did a number on your body,” he’d told her.

She simply smirked, stating, “Perhaps you can add another one later.” Then she handed him the bottle of sunscreen and asked him to lather her back up.

He definitely did more than just her back, kneeling to cover her gorgeous legs, her toned arms, her ample chest, and her lithe waist. She laughed when his fingers slipped into her bikini top, asking him what he was doing. “Making sure my wife doesn’t get burned.”

Elain could only shake her head at his antics.

Laying out, she had tipped her floppy hat down, shading her face as she napped, the book she’d been reading discarded in the sand underneath her chair.

Noticing the pinkening on her stomach, Azriel got up, grabbing the bottle of sunscreen to rub more on her.

She jolted slightly at the contact.

“You’re getting pink,” he explained, spreading the white cream over her body. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Elain hummed, running her hand up his arm. Quick as a flash, she pulled his Ray Bans off his face.

He gave her an exasperated look. “What are you doing?” Az laughed.

“Here, you can wear mine,” she said, holding out her pink aviators to him and pushing his onto her nose.

Huffing, he grabbed hers from her outstretched hand and slid them onto his face. “How do I look?”

“Fabulous,” she said, grinning.

He grabbed her waist, hauling her over his shoulder and making her squeal.

“Azriel! What are you doing?” she laughed.

“Taking my wife swimming, that’s what.”

She smacked him on the butt. “Put me down!”

“No,” he said, popping her on the ass. “And believe me, baby, if you want to start the ass-smacking, I will win.”

Azriel should’ve known that her silence wasn’t her conceding, but that wicked little mind coming up with something truly devious. He hadn’t anticipated her grabbing his hips and biting him on the cheek.

A shout sounded from his throat, and he whipped her back over his shoulder to carry her bridal style. “You little minx. Did you just bite my ass?” He stared down at her in disbelief.

“I told you to put me down. It’s your fault,” she told him, smiling sweetly.

The heated look he shot her had her squirming in his arms. “Oh, I will get even for that later tonight.” His sensual promise had blood rushing to her cheeks. Despite his desire to turn around and carry her right up to the house and fuck her senseless, he continued into the cool water, setting her on her feet about thigh deep.

Elain bent at the waist, dragging her fingers in the waves. Giving him a feline smirk, she splashed him and took off running.

Stunned for a second, Azriel ran after his wife, following the sound of her joyful laugh. When he finally caught her, he kissed her like it was his last.

~~~~~

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[rosanna-writer]

now i wake up in the night and watch you breathe

Summary: Feyre can't sleep. Rhys wants to cuddle anyway. Pure fluff ensues. Warnings: None Word Count: 600

Celebrating Feyre's birthday with a short fluffy drabble dedicated to @reverie-tales <3

You can read it below the cut or here on AO3.

Feyre's side of the bed was cold when Rhys woke up. He'd fallen asleep with her curled around him, her arm banded over his chest and her leg hooked around his hip. Without her there, the bed felt too big.

It was still dark, and one sleepy stretch of his mental talons was enough to let him know she was sitting in the kitchen. Rhys winnowed right behind her chair and leaned down to kiss her hair before he'd even fully materialized.

"Feyre darling," he said, voice gravelly, "come back to bed."

She twisted around to look at him, putting down the mug of warm milk she'd drained just before he'd appeared. "Did something wake you?"

Even as she moved, Rhys buried his face in her hair more thoroughly, inhaling her lilac-and-pear scent and letting it soothe the part of him always seemed to cry out for her. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders to pull her closer. "I missed you."

"I couldn't sleep, and you looked so peaceful. I didn't want to wake you," she said, relaxing against him.

"Wake me next time. I hate the thought of you sitting up alone."

She pushed an image down the bond, the view she'd been staring at while she'd watched him sleep. His hair was mussed, one lock of it plastered to his forehead and the rest sticking up at odd angles. A drop of drool had begun to form at the corner of his mouth. He'd looked dead to the world, completely exhausted after a long day. Feyre let him feel her rush of affection and the peace it brought her to see her mate comfortable and resting.

I should paint you like this.

Only if you promise not to display it anywhere prominent.

Feyre laughed, and Rhys felt some of the tension she'd been holding in her shoulders melt away. He ran a hand down her arm, mostly just to feel her bare skin. "What's keeping you up tonight?" he murmured.

"Nothing in particular. It's just…one of those nights."

Rhys understood. Most nights were peaceful, but along with the occasional nightmares that might always plague them both, there were times that racing thoughts and memories playing on a loop made sleep impossible.

"Anything I can help with?" If it was bad enough, he could push his way into her mind and use his daemati abilities to help her sleep, though that never fixed the root cause of the problem.

"I think it just has to run its course."

"Then at the very least, will you do me the honor of letting me hold you until it's over?"

Feyre smiled. "Only because you asked so politely."

In the blink of an eye, the mug was in the sink and Feyre was tucked against Rhys's chest. He held her with one arm under her knees and the other around her shoulders, the way he used to before she'd learned to fly herself. It had been a while since he'd cradled her like this, and Rhys took a moment just to savor the solid weight of his mate in his arms.

Feyre cuddled closer, pressing her face to the crook of his neck as she let him carry her up the stairs. Her breath skittered across his collarbone as she scented him.

Her hold on him didn't loosen, even as they fell back into bed together. Rhys draped a wing over them both just as Feyre rested her head on his bicep and let out a contented sigh. He let himself drift off again and didn't let go until morning.

[nikethestatue]

Really curious about your thoughts on this quote from Cassian's pov in acosf:

"Elain in black was ridiculous (…), but wearing black, no matter how much she claimed to be a part of this court… it sucked the life from her."

It's an interesting observation and could be seen as foreshadowing, though I hope not. I can't picture elriel living anywhere other than the night court since Azriel is so deeply rooted in it and would likely not thrive anywhere else to the same level.😬

I'm not sure what to make of it, but as a elriel stan, it stresses me out.

i think it's important to remember context. People love plucking this particular passage out and yell, oh look! Elain doesn't belong!

At the time, they are all in Hewn City. A place which the 7 siphon Illyrian warriors aren't fond of, not to mention Mor, who was actually born there. NONE of them say 'ooff! we love it here! let's stay!"

For whatever reason, we are led to believe that this is a wicked and decaying place. Cassian isn't saying 'Elain doesn't belong with us" or "Elain doesn't belong in the Night Court". He is referring to Hewn City, where, perhaps, she does seem out of place.

Furthermore, why would Elain brought there in the first place?

To play a role. And the role is to have Eris dance with one of the sisters. But the IC did not want him to dance with Elain--and the assumption was that because of her incredible beauty, she would always be the first choice. They wanted him to dance with Nesta. Therefore, Elain had to literally be uglyfied. She was put in an ugly plain black dress on purpose. While Nesta was dolled up like a supermodel.

There is a ruse that is taking place throughout the whole Ball which includes everyone, but primarily Nesta and Eris. That's why Cassian was technically strongly discouraged from dancing with Nesta. That's why Elain had to look as unattractive as possible.

Lastly, 2 things no one conveniently seems to mention.

a. Elain and Azriel were placed side by side at Rhys's and Feyre's throne, just like Nesta and Cassian were placed side by side.

3 brothers. 3 sisters.

You know who wasn't invited? Lucien. Or Gwyn.

The immediate members of the family and the IC were there, with the 2 Illyrians paired with the sisters.

b. What if the 'foreshadowing' that everyone loves to talk about is actually foreshadowing the very opposite. Not that Elain needs to exist with flowers and sunshine, but what if SHE will become the Lady of Darkness.

There are very many theories out of there about the nature and the creation of the Illyrians. Hel. Life and Death. Azriel's paternity.

What if Elain, the personification of Life, brings life and rejuvenation to the darkest, most hidden parts of the world?

What if she becomes the Lady of Hewn City? Or the Lady of Hel?

Who knows what this 'foreshadowing' actually means. SJM doesn't usually write 'flowers=Spring'. That's really not her style.

[acourtofthought]

I love how the IC just can't seem to help themselves from rooting for Elucien:

“Who else thinks it’s a terrible idea to leave the three of them up at the House of Wind?” Cassian raised his hand as Rhys and Mor chuckled. The High Lord’s general said, “I give him an hour before he tries to see her.” “Thirty minutes,” Mor countered, sitting back down on the divan and crossing her legs.

“You come between a male and his mate, Nesta Archeron, and you’re going to learn about the consequences the hard way.”

“Poor Lucien,” Cassian said, smiling. “If Lucien shows up,” I corrected. No word about whether he would be joining us. Or remaining in that mausoleum Tamlin called a home. “My money’s on yes,” Cassian said. “Want to make a wager?”

“You couldn’t say a single word to him? A pleasant greeting?”

“He is a good male,” I repeated."

“Stay out of it. She’s not ready, and neither is he. Mor continued, “Just be patient. It’ll sort itself out. It always does.” Another kernel of truth.

Elain, the wretch, had taken the seat between Feyre and Varian, about as far from Lucien as she could get.

Cassian’s heart strained at the pain etching deep into Lucien’s face as he tried to hide his disappointment and longing.

“Do you think she and Lucien match well?”. But I will say that Lucien is loyal—fiercely so.”

"I'm talking about you, about to kiss Elain, in the middle of the hallway where anyone could see you....including her mate".

I didn't dare mention that if she had been wearing the enchanted gloves Lucien had gotten her last Solstice, nothing would have pierced them at all ".

And that's kind of a big deal when you consider that they have previously had reservations about Lucien because of their history with Tamlin and him. It would be so easy for them to encourage Elain to break the bond, to seek out companionship within the Night Court (say someone they're already good friends with). Instead we have Mor telling Feyre to give them time to sort themselves out before getting to know one another, we have Cassian feeling sad over Lucien's disappointment, we have Nesta mentally calling out Elain for sitting far away from Lucien, we have Feyre vouching for Lucien's character and thinking about the Solstice gift he had given her sister, we have Rhys acknowledging that Lucien's loyalty is worth noting, we have Rhys calling out Az for trying to hook up with Elain in the middle of the hallway which is disrespectful to Lucien.

In real life love doesn't happen according to what friends and families want for you but the characters aren't free thinking individuals who have no say in the direction the story is going. They are a product of SJMs voice and she uses them all to hint at where things are going (and I highly doubt SJM wants to tarnish every member of the IC who she loves by making them the villains who stand in the way of Az and Elain's true love 🤦). When Lucien has their backing for his bond, it's telling us something. When we see a positive progression in what some character initially thought about him in book 3 to how they feel about Lucien now, it's telling us something.

A last thought:

At this point they all probably realize there's a good chance that Lucien will never remain in the NC on a permanent basis. They know he's living in the human lands, they know he's still visiting Spring and interacting with Tamlin, and Feyre and Rhys know that he's the likely heir to Day Court. Yet knowing all that and knowing what that would most likely mean for Elain should they end up together and they are still supportive of Lucien's bond with Elain?

That's pretty major.

As much as no one ever wants to admit it, sometimes friends and family (especially ones you have a decent relationship with or whose opinion you respect) do see things with a clarity that you might not (especially if you're being stubborn over something). I do not take the ICs support of Elucien lightly or ignore what it might be hinting at for the future of the series.

[stargirlfeyre]

just saw someone on tiktok saying "nesta never needed redemption, she needed healing" like MAN SHUT THE FUCK UPPP

i don't know why i still keep trying to understand why nesta stans resonate with her character so much when they say shit like this. they're always moaning about how they're the only ones truly get her and then they turn around and completely fail to understand and acknowledge that nesta was just as much of a villain in her own story and that her decisions and behavior are not something to root for.

their biggest argument against her antis is that we are biased and we view feyre and the ic through rose-tinted glasses and yet they can't even see that they're just as blinded by the shitty way they interpret nesta's character. they coddle her so fucking much and try to portray her as some morally superior, misunderstood angel wronged by the narrative when one of the biggest points of her story (no matter how awfully written it was) is to prove that she is not. she was an awful person who went through something awful, which made her worse, so she needed to grow and change.

her cult fails to understand that so badly its laughable. nesta stans are absolutely hopeless, miserable people i can't take it

She needed both. They think she was just a little “mean” when there’s literally quotes of this girl being misogynistic, ableist, classist, and just a downright horrible person. She was hated by majority of this fandom for a reason and it’s not just because people are “misogynistic”. People don’t hate you the way they hated Nesta just because you’re “mean”.

In real life behavior like Nesta’s isn’t tolerated so idk why they jump through hoops trying to defend it in a book. They need to separate their like for Nesta and their morals. In real life you wouldn’t agree with someone moving a disable person’s cane out of reach, in real life you wouldn’t agree with slut shaming, in real life you wouldn’t agree with looking down on poor people, in real life you wouldn’t agree with using a miscarriage to win an argument. So why not apply that same logic to Nesta? They let their love for Nesta blind them from understanding basic human decency then have the nerve to say WE read through rose colored glasses?

Atp I kinda feel bad for Nesta because no one in this fandom is actually a fan of her. Either people dislike her or people like a total stranger that goes against everything she stands for in canon.

[theblackknightofworcestershire]

finally read A Court of Thorns and Roses. It was ok? I feel like I would have liked it more if I hadn't read A Curse So Dark and Lonely first, which imho does basically everything that acotar does, except much better.

Harper is everything good about Feyre, but done better. They're both badasses, but Harper's badassery is more earned, and it is developed on page. They're both motivated to help their families, but Harper's motivation makes more sense as isn't being externally enforced by a magic promise she made (???) she just loves them and wants to help them. Over the course of the story Harper learns what she is capable of and learns to trust herself and others. Feyre's character arc is...confused. The pieces of it are there but so little words are spent on it that it's almost not there at all. There's a throughline about her feeling worthless or insignificant to her family/the world, and that's part of what's motivating her to help her family, but after the second she realizes it, it never comes up again. Which is a shame, because it could have been really heartbreaking if done right. Similar thing happens with Rhen and Tamlin. They both are mean to be characters struggling to shoulder their responsibilities. But Rhen grows over the course of the story--learning to value Grey, learning to accept the possibility that he will fail, learning to be generous even when that causes risk--and that growth is spurred by his interactions with Harper. Meanwhile Tamlin is just kind of doing his thing in the background. We are told that he's struggling, but we never feel it, and he doesn't really have an arc or a whole lot of a personality.

Also acotar committed, what is to me, the Cardinal Sin of romance books, which is SKIPPING OVER THE BUILDUP OF THE RELATIONSHIP. They play out the meeting, the initial hostility, the moment where they become friendly, and then they'll skip to the part where they first kiss/become explicitly romantic. And no, the scenes where they are looking at each other and thinking the other one is hot do not count. Sexual tension is not the same thing as relationship building. There's always some paragraph saying "And then we started talking all the time and hanging out nearly every day and getting closer" but not show any of that!!! No!! I want to see them hang out!I want to root for Feyre and Tamlin but I never get to see their dynamic actually play out! This is so common in romances and it drives me absolutely insane, because it is the best part of the story!! Or it would've been if you had written it! But you skipped it! Why do you think I picked up a romance book if not to read about their romance??? This is so, so common that I can't even really count it against this book in particular, and no one else seems bothered by this (maybe it's the acespec in me idk) but it didn't help.

Also people need to stop putting extremely simplistic trolley problems in the climax of their stories. It's boring and overdone.

On the positive side, acotar built a much cooler world, had a truly awesome scene where Feyre fights and slays a giant worm with the bones of its previous victims, AND I hear its sequels are good, unlike the cursebreakers sequels which were so, so, so bad I kinda wanted to cry.

[waterlilyvioletfog]

Lucien and Feyre- On Toxic Relationships, Abuse, Manipulation, and Friendship.

“I had not forgotten that long-ago fight he’d picked with Lucien. The warning he’d given him to stop flirting with me. To stay away. The fear that I’d preferred the red-haired lord over him and that it would threaten every plan he had. Back off, he’d told Lucien.”  (ACOWAR) 

I was rereading these earlier Spring Court chapters from ACOWAR the other night when I found this gem. It struck a chord with me. I’ve had two days since then to mull it over and these are my conclusions, no matter how incoherent they are or how incoherently they are expressed or how much you agree with them, they are what I’ve kind of figured out. 

This quote, if I were to point to any in Sarah J. Maas’s A Court of Thorns and Roses series, best sums up the relationship(s) between our main character Feyre Archeron, her best friend Lucien Vanserra, and her douche-bag ex Tamlin. It is messy and violent and petty and jealous and overbearing and manipulative and toxic and it’s really good for all fucking three of them that they all get out of it. 

It’s a quote from the end of the fifth chapter. Feyre is slowly building a bomb with which she intends to blow the Spring Court sky high and part of her plan is using Lucien against Tamlin, using her best friend to make his best friend seethe with rage and doubt and suspicion and paranoia and make the dumb, stupid decisions that come along with that.

In the fourth chapter, she manipulates a religious ritual into declaring her a Holy Blessed Figurehead, specifically designed so that she and Lucien are surrounded in sunlight and imagery of goodness and pureness, and the others, who she hates, are simply. Not. “A knight before his queen,” Feyre describes it, and it’s meant to hurt Tamlin, to cause Tamlin pain. Feyre and Lucien, not Feyre and Tamlin. 

In the fifth chapter, later that same night, Feyre scantily clads herself in a lacy nightgown, fakes a nightmare, then bolts out of her room to the room directly across from hers, Lucien’s. She distracts him, tells him she’s having nightmares of a shared trauma of theirs, while she leaves the door purposefully open and hides from Lucien that Tamlin has reentered the house. Lucien, naked from the waist up, hugs Feyre to comfort her because that’s what friends do when the other needs comfort: they provide it. Tamlin enters on an intimate moment, completely constructed by Feyre to look like either the end or the beginning of some level of intimacy, and he gets really jealous of Lucien because of the quote at the beginning of this essay and he storms out. Lucien, clueless Lucien, who is essentially married to Feyre’s sister, is the biggest victim here. 

This happens again. And again. And again. In the early ACOWAR chapters: Feyre uses her closeness with Lucien against Lucien and Tamlin, and sets it up as Feyre + Lucien vs. Tamlin + Ianthe, completely without Lucien’s knowledge or consent. This. Is. Abuse. Abuse of Tamlin, perhaps, but mostly abuse of Lucien. Lucien, who is an enabler and a Fixer, yes, and also Feyre’s best friend who gave her her first fae weapon when she came to Prythian. Lucien, who desperately loves Feyre and is desperate to get back to Elain and desperately wants to save Prythian, and has been sexually, verbally, physically, and emotionally abused by different characters at different points in this series. Lucien, who goes with Feyre in chapter ten because he can’t go back. 

And this bothers me! It bothers me that this is Feyre’s best friend, and she is manipulating Lucien to hurt Tamlin and because she is using Lucien to hurt someone Lucien loves, she is hurting Lucien. And he doesn’t really recognize it. 

Feyre and Lucien’s relationship is complex, built upon the understanding that they understand each other and they want what’s best for the other. And they do want that, even if their ideas of “what’s best for each other” are completely and totally wrong. Feyre and Lucien hurt each other a lot in this series, from their fighting in ACOTAR, to Lucien’s desperate attempts to fix what is unfixable in ACOMAF because Lucien, for all his swaggering sarcasm and acerbic wit, does not actually like CONFLICT, to these early chapters in which Feyre stabs Lucien in the back over and over and over while hugging him and calling it love and he doesn’t even notice the blood pouring down his skin. Feyre doesn’t totally, either. 

Feyre and Lucien are connected in ACOTAR by the fact that they both love Tamlin and are willing to do pretty much anything for him, even die for him, and then Feyre does die for Tamlin. 

And then suddenly Feyre has done everything for Tamlin and what else can she do? Feyre can’t really handle this, not on top of the trauma and her newfound body and powers and Rhys, and she shatters apart and she shatters away from Tamlin. Lucien, seeing this, is terrified because again, Lucien, for all his swaggering sarcasm and acerbic wit, does not actually like CONFLICT and he tries to fix everything and put it all back in place. Tamlin, meanwhile, refuses to acknowledge that Feyre has shattered at all, that he has fractured his soul by letting Feyre and Lucien give up everything for him. Feyre has changed, Tamlin cannot meet this change, and so Feyre leaves. Tamlin shatters completely, and Lucien goes into the forest to find Feyre and then he goes into the cave with Ianthe because Tamlin can only perform the ceremony with Feyre he’s that broken, and then he tells Tamlin to go ahead and do the thing and make an alliance with Hybern, to get Feyre back, do literally anything if it means Feyre comes back and he does not have to see those shadow wings on her and he does not have to go into the cave with Ianthe next year. 

(And just as a quick aside because I do not want to sell this short: TAMLIN ABUSES FEYRE AND LUCIEN FAR MORE AND FAR MORE PERMANENTLY THAT FEYRE AND LUCIEN EVER ABUSE EACH OTHER. Tamlin sexually abuses Feyre by forcing her to have sex with him [and yeah it’s not like rape rape but the sex is still without her consent and control] and Tamlin from what I can tell emotionally manipulates Lucien into having sex with a woman who has been sexually harassing him for. months. and that’s also sexual abuse and there is near constant emotional abuse of Lucien and Feyre by Tamlin throughout the first second and third books. I am aware of all of this and acknowledging it here and now because I’m not focusing on that: I’m focusing on two people who love each other and still end up hurting each other and doing morally bad things to each other and that is Feyre and Lucien because what Feyre did was fucked up even if we cheered her on and I can’t always root for Feyre because she does things like this.)

And that’s why everything happens: everything happened. Lucien says make the alliance with Hybern because he can’t live in a Spring Court without Feyre any more or less than Tamlin can, and that’s because Feyre left, which is because she died, which is because of Amarantha, which is because of a war 500 years ago that ended with the Wall being risen and Rhys and Tam becoming High Lords and Lucien being born. 

So Feyre’s actions against Lucien bother me, because he doesn’t deserve her abuse any more than she deserved Tam’s. No one deserves what they reap exCEPT FOR IANTHE AND AMARANTHA AND HYBERN AND THE EVIL WONDER TWINSES THOSE SONS OF GODDAMN BITCHES CAN GO FUCKING FUCK THEMSELVES WITH HORSE-POWERED POGO STICKS- 

Anyway. 

And so we go back to the beginning and why I think it’s a good thing that the trio who were our heroes in the first book are separated and on different journeys by mid-way through the third. 

Feyre’s off being a badass with Rhysand at her side, a male that loves her, all of her, and soothes her, and understands her, and if she asked for him to, would leave her and let her leave him. Feyre needs space to paint in. Feyre needs the calm stillness of the Night. 

Tamlin is dealing with his own angst and his own shit by himself and I’m glad that in the end Sarah let him give Rhys the magic magic kernel of magic. I’m happy that he’ll get a shot at redemption, or at least of moving on from Feyre and accepting that they are no longer compatible and that to think otherwise is delusional and toxic and leads to the deaths of hundreds and thousands and millions. 

Lucien has to be a hero. He can no longer simply be the one Feyre and Tam rely on, he has to be the one who saves the day and makes friends with weird cursed queens because he and his pseudo-wife aren’t ready to be married yet if that makes sense. 

But just as Feyre and Tamlin, at the very end of the book, agree to coexist as far away from each other as possible and stop letting other people get hurt to hurt  each other, I think Feyre and Lucien have a good shot of getting back to that friendship. Lucien is a member of the Inner Circle now, Lucien is Elain’s mate: Lucien’s fate always has been and always will be linked with Feyre Archeron and the Archeron sisters. 

And I guess that’s what I feel about Lucien Vanserra and Feyre Archeron and Tamlin Who Is Still A Tool.  

[ @propshophannah because I feel this needs to be addressed at some point.]

[ae-neon]

Another Nessian Rant

Don't tell Reddit

Here's the thing:

Cassian isn't a dudebro or a snarky loveable jock - That's what the ic think of him. That's what Feyre knows. That's what the reader is supposed to think of him.

Here's what he actually is : a Fae, bigger than any human, with bat-like wings and armour. He is 500 years old, a warrior and a general, and one of the most powerful of his spieces history has ever seen.

Nesta isn't a viper or a bitch or someone "needs to be pushed/ put in her place/ can take it"

She's : 23, grew up on the border to Prythian and heard all her life about towns just like hers being utterly destroyed over night. A woman who lost her sister to Fae. A person who must now somehow accept that her sister is one of those Fae. She's a human working with and harbouring Fae - even though it puts her and everyone in the house in danger.

He makes the first move to be confrontational with her so Nesta ignores him but he keeps pressing so she fights back the only way she knows how - words that hurt.

He uses his physical size to press her when he loses the battle of words and wits. Personally, I'd be terrified of a man with this sort of habit.

Then he slowly wins her over, quietly, piece by piece she puts her trust in him. Because he is all of those things.

He can't save her the first time - in Hybern - and she has to adjust to what's happened while protecting Elain the only way she knows how.

But suddenly there's this new element of being seen - something that didn't exist when he'd get too close in her study - and it's Cassian who is backing away as she is reaching for him, moving just when he'd convinced her to lean her weight into him.

So Nesta straightens again, plants her feet - the only way she knows how. She's busy fighting to survive her own mind and body and here comes Cassian again - not in front of his family and friends, always alone when he wants to push her and coax her.

Why the fck would I root for this ship?

SJM saying Nesta could bring Cassian to his knees with words or portraying his emotional pain as so great doesn't mean anything to me. He's not a child. He's not a young man. He's 500 years old! He has murdered dozens if not hundreds. I really don't give a flying fck that he's sensitive about being a bastard.

Seek therapy since the IC wanna act like psychologists and psychiatrists all the time.

[taylors-fourth-cat-meow]

Hi, it's my first time writing on this blog, you're doing heavens work btw, but I'll get straight to the point, I read the ACOTAR series a few years ago, and have not given it a second-read since, however, recently scrolling through social media I came across this abomination:

(Ugh...)

...

"'I think part of the reason I love Rhys and Feyre so much is that Rhys is the only person to TRULY appreciate and respect Feyre in the series. For her entire life Feyre was emotionally beaten into believing that she was lesser than, and Rhys is the first person who encourages her to demand respect from others, whether it be Tamlin, the warlords, or her sisters (who were the root cause of the problem).

In summary; Rhys builds Feyre up when everyone else seems hellbent on tearing her down and I will NOT accept criticism of his or her actions that stem from not allowing others to blatantly attempt to push her back into the girl they abused.'"

...

Excuse me… what the ****?! Not that she didn't deal with forms of abuse but what the hell. This really needs to get analyzed, because since when? Thank you for your time, have a good day.

Hi anon!!

Tysm for your kind words.

And you're right these feysand shippers are a hot mess. And their hot takes like these tell you soo much about the kind of message sjm is propagating.

"I think part of the reason I love Rhys and Feyre so much is that Rhys is the only person to TRULY appreciate and respect Feyre in the series.

I'm srry but how exactly is Rhysie sexually assaulting and drugging Feyre, robbing her or her agency, twisting her bones to force her into entering a binding bargain with him, making her wear skimpy clothing, forcing her to give lap dances all without her permission (or in some cases conscious thought) him TRULY respecting her? Like tf? Is him not telling her about the complications of her pregnancy him respecting her? I hate to break it to u but it's not. It's fcking abuse.

For her entire life Feyre was emotionally beaten into believing that she was lesser than,

Okayy now this is just untrue? You tell me, does feyre seem like the kind of person who believe she is lesser than anyone? She is most self centred character I have ever come across. It's always about her. About her trauma. Tarquin can't understand her "darkness" because her trauma is more. Tamlin is wrong for not helping her through her trauma. That's abuse but her doing the exact same this is ok. Nesta struggling with ptsd is wrong because she is embarassing Feyre. Plssss okayy even in the first chapters of Acotar, she is insufferable. Smug about the fact that her family would starve without her. How in god's name is that a person thinking she is less than her family? Feyre always believes she is superior to everyone? Remember when Vassa, a real queen interacts with Feyre and Feyre says "she can't talk to me like that cause she is forgetting I was a queen too, in my own right" oh and the time she goes like I won't bow to Thesan? In the high lords meeting? So...like this analysis is just wrong...on so many levels.

and Rhys is the first person who encourages her to demand respect from others,

Okay first off, ya can't demand respect. U gotta earn it. Which tbh Feyre did when she freed the ppl of Spring Court but she wasn't happy even then. She didn't like them respecting her and not letting her do any work cause she was a fcking messiah to them. Secondly, Rhysie didn't "encourage" feyre. He fcking handed her titles then went about threating everyone who didn't wish to bow to a fcking child.

In summary; Rhys builds Feyre up when everyone else seems hellbent on tearing her down and I will NOT accept criticism of his or her actions that stem from not allowing others to blatantly attempt to push her back into the girl they abused."

See, these ignorant "hot takes" arise because of the Sjm manipulation. You see how all stans think that when the world absues their queen Feyre Rhysand saves her. (Also, can I just point the irony and say that this...is supposed to be a feminist series...) But... Whose gonna save her from Rhysand? Rhysand is also actively abusing Feyre. Acosf was just further proof. That's the root cause of the problem. Rhysand is abusive. But the stans will never except that. If they truly did stan feyre and not Rhysie's dick, me thinks they wud want her as far away from him as possible tbh.

[unhealthyfanobsession]

Well, after writing that piece that offered up the tinniest bit of closure around the shit with Nesta/Cassian/Mor in ACOWAR (barely), I'm amped up on that, so please, rant away on that if you haven't yet. 👀 Or, hey, if you have an idea on why Mor would care so much about Nessian to the point she basically bullies/abuses Nesta, I'd be curious, because I can't figure that out...

Hehe I just read Better Than Revenge so I am ready to SHRED MOR!!! Something I’ve never said is I actually think Mor is the root of Nesta and Cassian’s post ACOWAR problems. Like a year and a half ago I wrote Renegade Knights (multi chapter post-ACOFAS where Cassian takes Nesta to the Day Court and she learns what her powers are instead of walking up stairs) and while my writing style has changed a LOT since then and I cringe at some of it and it is not exactly a nuanced story, there’s a part where Nesta yells at Cassian for leaving her behind after the war. She basically says that she was left standing next to the ashes of her father as Rhys came for Feyre and Lucien eventually came (not necessarily FOR Elain but like… for Elain)

And where was Cassian? LIMPING OFF THE BATTLE FIELD WITH MOR AND AZ! Mor hating Nesta was unnecessary and a complete wedge in Nessian’s relationship. It was one of the reasons Nesta was so insecure about Cassian’s affections AND Cassian straight up says in Wings and Embers that he wouldn’t want to tell Mor about Nesta.

There was no way Nesta would do or say ANYTHING unless she was 100% certain of Cassian’s feelings. Even after he spends every second of his time on her and is fucking her daily Nesta is still like damn when he gonna get tired of me?

Mor KNEW they were mates with her little truth powers from ACOMAF and then she decided Nesta didn’t deserve Cassian and she did EVERYTHING in her power to keep them apart. Warned Nesta away from Cassian, interrupted them, and as we see in ACOSF she continues to denigrate Nesta to Cassian even though he actively tells her SEVERAL TIMES to stop.

To be clear, Cassian was being a coward and he has his own weird ass shit going on with Mor and the whole “buffer” thing, but Mor knows exactly what she is doing and I would actually argue she is worse than Rhys. There. I said it. I hate a lot of the things Rhys does but his redeeming quality is always that he is doing it for a reason that he believes in. Rhys says he hates Nesta but is still like well Cassian and Feyre love her so something has to be done. And his plan sucks but at least there’s a rationale behind it.

To quote a male character I also hate who I think is literally Rhysand in many ways, one Damon Salvatore: “I do bad things for a purpose, you do them to be a dick.”

Mor is just a spoiled brat tbh. She doesn’t even have a reason to hate Nesta. She didn’t like your dress 3 books ago can we please MOVE ON!!!

[viennasneverland]

Ok, I need to talk about this cause yall ignore elain's history so much....

TW: suicide mention.

Yesterday I saw this edit of Elain on Instagram and the comments were all "oh, but that song doesn't fit her, it fits nesta/feyre/mor/emerie/gwyn/whoever" and I got pissed cause there's always those ones trying to underplay what elain had been throught just because she deals with it more quietly and hides it better than anyone.

The edit was an elain edit with "The Monster" from Rihanna and Eminem.

The lyric was Rihanna's part saying:

"I'm friend with the monster that's under my bed

Get along with the voices inside of my head

You trying to save me, stop holding your breath

And you think I'm crazy, yeah, you think I'm crazy

Well, that's not fair"

*there's a little mistake in the last part, the video had the lyric translated and should be "well, that's nothing" but they translated "well, that's not fair" and i thought it fited even better*

People were saying it didn't fit elain, so let's analyse.

"I'm friend with the monster that's under my bed"

The Monster under Elain's bed is The Caldron.

The Caldron was wath changed her body, mind and life forever. Probably it caused her as much pain as it caused Nesta (maybe even more because of the "gift")

Yet, the Caldron loves Elain in a completly strange way. It is said in acowar, when Elain stabbed the king, that the Caldron even feeling betrayed (cause Elain was protecting it's thief/Nesta) it would never do anything to hurt her. The Caldron purrs when Elain is close. It loves her and have a compassion for her it didn't show to anyone else.

So yes, the Caldron is the Monster Elain befriends (and I really think it won't be the last beast she enchants)

"Get along with the voices inside of my head"

That I don't need to explain, do I?

Elain is a Seer, her power is to see and hear things the others can't.

•“I can hear your heartbeat—if I listen carefully. I can hear her heartbeat, too.”

•She said, “I can hear the sea. Even at night. Even in my dreams. The crashing sea—and the screams of a bird made of fire.”

• “The sixth queen is alive?” Azriel asked, calm and steady, the voice of the High Lord’s spymaster, who had broken enemies and charmed allies.

Elain cocked her head, as if listening to some inner voice. “Yes.”

• Elain only turned toward the sunny windows again, the light dancing in her hair. “Will I hear the earthworms writhing through the soil? Or the stretching of roots? Will the bird of fire come to sit in the trees and watch me?”

• But Elain shook me off, heading back to the stairs. She said as she climbed the first steps, “I can hear her—crying. Everyone thinks she’s dead.” Elain kept walking. “But she’s not. Only—different. Changed. As I was.”

"You trying to save me, stop holding your breath // And you think I'm crazy // Well, that's not fair"

That one is the most important.

During months, Elain was suffering with whispering voices and sounds inside of her head, with images of pain and places she couldn't understand. And no one (but one person) tried to see that.

They wanted Elain to get better, yeah, but how do they helped with it? Yeah, they didn't (not criticizing any of my babies, i love them all, but they really didn't knew what to do when everything they should do was listen)

Elain was called crazy and sendt away when she started to show what was on her mind. Yall really think it was easy for her? Trying to show and say what was going on inside her head and her sisters and the others just looked her as if she was insane, sending her to her room or to the garden.

Elain was getting so desesperated with the voices and images and everyone just thinking she was mad that she got suicidal.

Do you guys understand what that means? She was so desesperated she wanted to die, she searched for help and no one could offer it to her cause they didn't understand and she was so full of angst she didn't wanted, couldn't, deal with this anymore.

And it's not fair that, even after they figured out what was wrong, they still saw this as their problem and not something that affected Elain.

"All you can think about is what my trauma did to you."

*video from boktok_edits on tiktok*

[flowerflamestars]

Man with that one single new snippet with Nesta and Mor you actually point out one big problem I have with her. The fact that. She has ALL the power! she is strong and she would have the IC even perhaps backing her if she wanted to go do something about the CoN situation. But she does. Absolutely. Nothing.

She can do so much, she could just kill Keir and everything, rip the rotten roots out of his court, do reformations, etc. But again, she does nothing. It's extremely frustrating really. And I'm hoping that she will realize some important things/change her mind about them. But so far with what you're going for, that's exactly the kind of character

arc/development she needs.

I mean, the Big Mor Flaw, to me, is a writing flaw first and foremost: the narrative wants/needs/insists Morrigan is a feminist icon/Perfect Survivor/golden example and then....bends her character in every which way to avoid giving her any agency, power, or sense of personal growth.

She's not really a person?

She's a) a poorly used plot device and b) a hot prop Feminist for Feyre

She isn't allowed an arc- or even a remotely consistent vibe.

The Keir thing makes no sense because Morrigan doesn't get to make character decisions.

Keir is alive because Rhysand needs someone to run the Actual Court (why this cannot be Mor, who is already the in between??? Sexism). Keir is alive to create drama and justify feysands weird evil cosplay. We know Azriel wants him dead- we can assume the same of Cassian. We know Feyre was way too into Rhys breaking his arm. We know Rhysand finds him a canny, formidable enemy.

We ASSUME Morrigan hates her father, but we know??? that he gave her a sense of shame she internalized and carried to this day. that she's afraid of him? that she was given a job that means she sees him, on his turf, constantly??

ugh.

So what I love to do for Mor is make her messy. Draw some of those disparate things together.

And that never works better- and yes, I know the books set it up by accident- than when we contextualize her and Nesta as foils.

Nesta needs to heal now- Morrigan has spent five hundred years dealing. Nesta's power is such a horror no one who meets her can't detect might- Morrigan never once uses her 'mountain shaking' power on page. Nesta drinks and sleeps around while she's grieving- Morrigan drinks when she's upset and sleeps with men she doesn't want to enforce boundaries. Nesta is to be feared (to the point of the other's thinking she's a threat to her sisters)- Morrigan is to be protected (even in ways she does not ask for, that scare her).

We go further in Your Heart: Morrigan was given the benefit of endless time and has thus, put off making a lot of important choices.

Nesta was treated like a year to mourn was too long, and made some huge swings because she felt, correctly, like she was being backed into a corner.

Nesta- much like how she bursts onto the scene, undeniable and infuriating- forces that status quo to break.

Morrigan has to make a choice: she can take the throne, or she can give it to someone else.

The reckoning came about a thousand years too early and she doesn't know what to do. it was always the plan but it wasn't The Plan. She never let go of the possibility- never let Az kill Keir- but she also avoided making the choice so long she's never faced the fact that....frankly, the men in her life will not let her stand alone. Even if it's what she wants. They've worked around her wishes for centuries and Morrigan cannot, cannot, handle going back to the Hewn City victorious and still being scared.

Still, a Queen finally, being disrespected and used.

And Nesta, even disliking her, is just enough Nesta to be like: look. Do it right, or not at all. You want things to change? Change them. You have the power

BUT ALSO

When Rhysand inevitably tries to fuck you over, or your friends ignore all boundaries and screw things up, I, because I started this, will back you up.

Because it's the right thing to do to protect a whole city of people.

Morrigan is like... 15% of the way down a journey she thinks she's actually at a comfy 86% of. She isn't a bad person, but she's made some messy choices. She's flawed- but still important!