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#i can't clown on him because i genuinely like him
downtowncannibal · 1 year
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I hate that I don't show Chris any appreciation I just have no clue what to say about him
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arklay · 2 years
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DIANA x ALBERT WESKER / template.
#mine.#pair: ewskers#oc: diana#click for better quality ♡#posting this before i start changing more things lmao but yes i went nuts and made my own psd from scratch... don't look at me#changed ages to birth years cause of how much time passes in the story!! and also gives cheeky fc for you hehe runs away#the checkboxes make me scream like he almost had a clean sweep it's so funny. and he could've had one more i'm not even joking. cause their#first kiss was technically both of them... like idk how to explain this but they were already standing close then diana moved even closer#and was tracing his jaw and such and they were just lingering while holding eye contact but he was the one who actually closed the distance#so i mean... yeah. she was just about to and he beat her to it!! but diana made the move to get them into that position in the first place#is what i mean. i just couldn't give him more it was already too hilarious lmao#can't tell if i like the lil icons but i can't doodle so peace and love on planet earth but yes i'm happy with how this came out hehe#clueless levels are cause they are clowns <3 i have a lot of thoughts about all that but yes they both take hints in some aspects but i#think they both have trouble telling if they are genuine or not or if they are misreading the situation or whether something is romantic or#not (unless ofc it's over the top and ridiculous. ahem. excella. cough. explodes her with my mind) but yeah hit him with the tism so he's#learnt how to read people very well as he's gotten older but i think when it comes to actual just genuine like wanting to get to know#someone and not just someone wanting to get in his pants he seconds guesses it a lot. and diana's all stems from being rattled by her past#experiences oughguhh and i mean her not actually having experienced proper feelings for someone until him lmao but she's got trust issues#also there were so many tropes i could use (thank you to bestie elliot for helping me finds names of things) but i had to do i got you a#drawer specifically because that moment has such a special place in my heart!! like i need to finish the wip where i talk about that cause#it makes me so silly i'm not even joking#anyway omg i hope the mentions work because doing this on the legacy editor after copying the html for beta one because the image just#didn't want to work in the beta image for some reason rip
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catcatb0y · 1 year
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I have so much respect for people who just put their blorbo into every interation with other characters, as if everyone loves their blorbo and it's SO fun until half the fandom is blorbo-inserting with that one character you just can't fucking stand and every time you try to look for stuff of your own blorbos, they are THERE, HAUNTING.
#yes this is about t/su/ka/sa from se/kai#I am so sorry I just can't get into his character#I can't tell if it's the canon version or the fanon version that drives me up the wall more#but I cannot stand him#I enjoy characters like him and I get why he's a Tumblr favorite he's a cringefail clown boy#but he's just so obnoxious#I really want to like him but guh#it does not help that the 'mafu/ka/sa parallels' are just so dumb#they are kind of cool?#but the ONLY people who talk about them just use the other female characters to make their blorbo look better#'he acts confident and cheerful in order to make sure that others don't feel sad because of him!' you mean Saki?#'he aims to be a star that can make everybody smile so he always wants to make everyone else happy!' that's Emu actually#'he puts on a dazzling persona in order to combat the fact that he doesn't remember his childhood an is actually sad on the inside!' Mafuyu#but do ANY of these people write meta about the girls?#haven't seen one yet#Ts/uka/sa is an interesting character to breakdown. Yes he lost out on his childhood (Saki had it worse) but just because he lost sight#of his original goal (the reason that he wanted to be a star) wasn't really a dissociative thing like Mafuyu not remembering her childhood#no one wants to talk about how Emu holds on to her childishness and even if she genuinely believes in her happiness she's still sad#or how Saki had LITERAL NIGHTMARES of the hospital and pushed herself too far several times because of her fear of missing out of her youth#how Mafuyu grew up too fast and doesn't have an outlet for her negative emotions bottling them up until she almost comminted sui#people seem to acknowledge how HARD these things are when they're talking about ts/ka/sa but jus completely sideline everybody else#also I think he's obnoxious in canon#god shut the fuck up you are yelling in my ear#I really wanna be able to like polysho and ten/ma siblings (with Toya) but I just can't#then I go on Tumblr and half the shit I see is 'My Blorbo is so nice to everyone else!'#'I want to see Tsu/kas/a see through Mafuyu's facade!' you mean like Emu has already been doing this entire time??#all of those memes where he is talking to Kanade and she's covering her ears like '...Loud...' that's me#Akik/as/a would be SO fun to me if I could stand Ts/uka/sa#so many artists with ADORABLE art styles and precious ideas but they just put T/suk/as/a into everything and I am like#get this man off my screen
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chuluoyi · 7 months
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✎ forever
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- gojo satoru x reader
the three times he asked you to marry him
genre: slightly suggestive, fluff/comfort, silly and lovesick gojo, wedding proposals, mild angst, mentions of injury and protective gojo
note: i was inspired by some fics with this kind of trope and i can totally see gojo asking you to marry him while he's dead drunk—
a part of gojo's love entries
general masterlist
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"Why don't we get married?"
The first time Satoru brought this up was right after you both had exhausted yourselves in an intense, passionate lovemaking session.
His bare skin was against yours, and the intimacy of it almost made you want to go along with his suggestion, until you grasped the profound meaning behind his words.
"Satoru," you breathed out, still breathless as you came down from your high. "Are you seriously asking me that now?"
A dopey smile was on his face. "Yeah, is there a problem with it?"
You blinked. The nerve of this clown-head—
"Not even a proper proposal? Or a ring?" you scowled. "Considering your usual flair, this is a rather lackluster attempt at a proposal."
Of course, you weren't a material girl, but considering his big ego and tendency to go overboard, you just had to call him out.
"Hmm? So if there's a grand proposal and I bought you a ring, then you'll say yes?"
There was practically a twinkle in those bright eyes of his now, and you were a bit caught off guard because well, so he is for real?
You’d be lying if you said that the thought of marrying him hadn’t crossed your mind. But to be frank, Gojo Satoru didn't strike you as someone who was interested in anything as cliché as marriage and everything that comes with it.
Which brought you back to this point—you had absolutely no idea what possessed him to bring up this question.
"Hah," you let out a sardonic laugh. "Not that easy. I'll think about it."
When he let out a “Ehhh?”, and started sulking, you were quite sure, and dismissed the question as one of his passing whims.
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The second time he posed the question, he was a babbling, slurring mess of alcohol and hiccups.
"Can't we—hic!—" His face was flushed, and he was pitifully wobbling on his feet. "—just get married—hic!—already?"
This time you scoffed, partly out of disdain, crossing your arms in front of you. Satoru seemed to pick up on your unfavorable reaction and attempted to convince you. "I'm being—"
"No," you sternly interrupted, supporting him as he struggled to stay on his feet. You shot an unapologetic look at the other patrons in the bar who were watching you both with disapproving frowns. "Satoru, we're going home."
"I'm—hic!—asking you to marry me!"
"I said no."
"Why?!"
You sighed. "You're dead drunk."
"What will—hic—make you say yes?"
You let out another sigh. It already took a great deal of patience to deal with his immaturity as his girlfriend, and you could only imagine how much more challenging it would be as his wife.
"I'm so heartbroken," he whined, crocodile tears pooling in his eyes as he peered at you like a kicked puppy. "I got rejected twice already... How could you reject me twice?"
You rolled your eyes at his theatrics.
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"Marry me."
The third time around, he was neither bringing it up on a whim or drunk, also he wasn't quite asking—his tone was almost pleading.
And you just woke up from your comatose state after a mission gone wrong, still in your bloodied uniform, eyes barely adjusting to the bright room.
Satoru let out a grunt, clasping your fingers in his warm, reassuring grip. It was evident how deeply distressed he was from the furrowed brow and the quiver in his lips as he looked down at you, as well as the gentle way he was stroking your hair.
At this moment, you wanted to cry. The fact that he was so genuinely concerned for you filled you with warmth and emotion.
. . .
He saw it happen right before him—the crimson blood flowing out of your wound like waterfall. He had screamed at you to breathe and not let go of his hand. The moment he felt your head loll back in his arms and you lost your grip on him, he could swear his own heart had stopped too.
He had never been more grateful that you—his best friend, love of his life, the only one he had left—awoke from that horrifying ordeal. Seeing you stained red by your own blood had undoubtedly distorted his point of view, but his desire to marry you, as what he had been suggesting as of late, clearly was not just a mere passing thought.
Because he is acutely aware of how cruel this world is. This damned world has always taken everything that's important to him, and before they can snatch you away too, he will claim you as his first.
"Marry me," he repeated, his voice now sounding more hoarse, not as confident as it had been the first time.
As you gazed into his beautiful eyes, it occurred to your hazy mind that you very nearly died. That you were that close to not seeing him ever again. You had been apprehensive with how he had phrased his proposals so far, and you didn't want your marriage to be a split-second decision forced by some sort of looming omen.
And yet, falling in love with Gojo Satoru had never been the easiest, but you did anyway. He still held onto your hand, patiently awaiting your response—
—but suddenly, like a sharp whiplash effect, what shocked you was that who you saw then wasn't your boyfriend.
But rather, the man with the mantle of the strongest sorcerer alive.
You could lose him just as much as he could lose you. Sooner or later, who knows? His title is both a blessing and a curse. Up until now, it has been a blessing, but who can say when it might suddenly turn into a curse that tears him away from you?
. . .
This time, you didn't snort or doubt his intention. Instead, you smiled, embracing the profound flutter in your chest as you were being proposed.
"Okay," you whispered, voice dry. "Yes… I'll marry you, Satoru."
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bruciemilf · 7 months
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fem bruce ideas?
Gosh, it's so hard to like. Translate how a simple gender shift would change a character. Because on one hand I wanna be like, " nothing would be different. Why does it have to be different?"
But on another, sadder hand, it's everything. Everything would be different.
This might be kinda controversial, but I genuinely think fem Bruce would simply know, like Monday follows sunday: she wanted motherhood. That's just something she wanted. Maybe something she excluded from the realm of possibility, discarded in the trash when Batman crawled to life, but it was wanted.
EVERY Robin was wanted. Every single one.
Thomas and Alfred would put bee hairclips in her hair, because she wouldn't brush it otherwise. "The comb feels weird, dads!"
I'm melting at these two calling her "honeybee." Martha loved to let her daughter's pudgy hands paint her face clown white and give her cherry lipstick kisses.
Bryce wears the pearl necklace. Everywhere. It was her mother's favorite gift, from her mother, and many mothers before her. Why does a weak man decide what it means?
Listen. There's beauty, and there's Wayne beauty.
All I'm saying is; Dick learned very quickly to "accidentally" spill his drinks on people at gala. To "faint out of nowhere. Oh gosh, I seem to be struck by illness!"
I think it'd be absolutely adorable if Ollie and Bryce had a casual affection for eachother. Ollie fixes her hair in a braid, in rare moments where it sneaks out of the cowl. He can still recreate Thomas' patterns.
Alfred is the shotgun father but only in a hilarious way. I want him to pull a 47 on Pa Kent and Ra's Al Ghul for trying to adopt his beloved daughter.
Jason is the first batkid who calls her mom. It's hard and difficult and foreign for him. She say he doesn't have to, and he says, " well, you don't leave me much of a choice."
"I'm sorry if you feel forced."
"No, I mean, - that's how I know you are. I could do everything to you and you could do everything to me. We're going to destroy eachother. You'll forgive me for it. How can I not call you mom?"
She packs everyone lunches; Even Justice League members. Especially Clark. Even if he can't string two words together in front of her.
I think she wouldn't get lifts or voice alternators or try to appear more masculine to be intimidating. I simply think she'd be an intimidating woman, and that's it
Harvey never really falls for it.
To him, she's always going to be the girl he married drunk at 18, wasted on tequila and love, and never quite left
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meraki-sunset · 6 days
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This is a long letter of gratitude. Embrace my endless words of pure gratefulness.
Dear Autor of the most amazing thing I've ever read.
I was writing this letter from the moment I reached the middle of your Crow Strider AU fanfiction. There is so many things I want to say and I'm so happy that I can say it to you all here without words limit. Forgive me for exuberance, I'm squeezing out all my abilities to express what I feel in this foreign language that's not of us first language.
Let me list all the things I'm grateful for, because I'm autistic and I love listing:
1. Crow Strider
The arc of Davesprite you created is masterpiece of writing. The process of deconstructing his personality, forgiving and letting his part behind as well as embracing his new identity and new body is written so thoughtfully with such a care of details. I love how you made him so different from Dave as well as still kept his Daveness in full glory of Striderness. You made him happy and more emotional available and open, at the same time it felt so natural for him to be that way because of the proper build up you gave him. Thank you so much for creating Crow Strider and letting us read his well written arc.
2. There's a Dave for everyone
THERE'S LITERALLY DAVE FOR EVERYONE. You have no idea what struggles I went through trying to understand what person Dave ended up with in canon, and then being sad of what happened in epilogues. I wanted Dave for Karkat. I wanted Dave for Jade. I wanted them to be happy. And you did it. You made it possible. You made them all happy. I love it so much. Thank you so much for making them happy. You even gave Teresi one Dave for her. I can't believe it. It's so beautiful it's unreal.
3. More Davepeta
This part is simple, I simply love Davepeta and you gave me a lot of good Davepeta content. Thank you for that.
4. You made me like characters I didn't like
I wasn't big fan of Tavros. I got tired of Vrisca by the end of Homestuck. I didn't really see Hal as an interesting character. I honestly hated Gamzee. And Jasprosesprite squared was so annoying for me
Well, not anymore! You somehow managed to write these characters more compelling for me than Hussie did. Now I love Tavros and Hal, I mean, cat Hal? Is there anything more cute and cool at the same time?
And NGL I genuinely wanted Gamzee to die and I can't believe that now I'm not, because I just read a very good redemption arc of this clown. I also love the way you dealt with Vrisca. Heck I love all characters written by you!
5. God tier Karkat
I've dreamt of seeing a good piece of god tier Karkat. I was so curious how does it even work to be Knight of Blood, we didn't see any version of Blood god tier in canon. I'm big fan of your version, it fits the character and the aspect so well, and the execution of his arc as he is chosen to open the door... Honestly? I prefer that over canon, though it wouldnt make as much sense as in your fanfiction. It just feels like you took a much better care of Karkat than official ending of Homestuck. Don't get me wrong, I love Homestuck an it's ending, your fanfiction wouldn't exist without it. I honestly think that Hussie didn't really have as much time and space to give his characters as extended arcs as you gave them without losing the dynamic of his story. But you could. And you did. Thank you so much.
6. So many people got better, more extended arcs
Like above. You made Jas much better. You gave Nanna much better, more compelling arc than she had in canon. You made Hal and Tavros much more relatable and gave them very well character development plot, even if short. You took your time to write very needed and wanted dialogues between characters than didn't have their time to interact in canon. Like Jake and Dirk (ESPECIALLY THEM OMG). Like Erisol and Feferi. Like Jas and Rose. And I didn't even know that I needed the last one. Thank you so much.
7. You made ships that I didn't know where even possible and I like them????
Seriously, Tavros and Jane?? Erisol and Arquius??? Josh and Dirk??? I love how your brain works
8. You absolutely nailed the delicate topic of transgender
I used to not be a big fan of June, because there were no realistic signs of John having any kind of thoughts or doubts about his gender in canon. You made a very much needed and really great thoughtfully written arc from June and Josh, even caring about the topic of transition and executing it really great. Thank you so much for yet again being so good at writing arcs.
9. Eridan and Sollux
I love them both and their weird toxic rivalty, and I absolutely love that you gave them some attention and let Eridan grow and try to redeem himself while also helping Sollux with hii2 p2iioniic problem2. I download almost every single frame of it.
10. YOUR ARTSTYLE
You're artstyle. I don't know where to begin with that. It's so amazing. Expressive, dynamic, cute, beautiful, colorful. I love every line of your comics. Your style is the way I always wanted to draw. It's just perfect. And also perfect for Homestuck fanfiction. It's just so similar, yet gives it a bit of softness as well as the kind of expressiveness I love, that makes every single shot more appealing. Warm scene are so warm, sad scene are so sad, dynamic scenes are so epic, it's like so delicious. Yes, I just ran out of words. Let me grab a dictionary...
Your style is outstanding. It gives me this feeling of familiarity, it's similar of Homestuck style, yet so different, its fresh and new while also feels like home.
I wish you have a printed version of your fanfiction (but I probably can't afford it sadly). There is something so soothing in this simple colors, it's not too loud, not too many colors, yet so many and smooth colorful lines. I will learn to draw like you, I'm sorry for adapting your style, but I really want to draw like that and you even posted some tutorials how to draw like you.
Thank you so so much that you put so much time and effort into making this wonderful comic and then share with all of us completely for free. You drew so many expressive pages, sometimes even 10 pages per static dialogue, which means you officially outbested the master of overdoing Andrew Hussie himself, that did maximum of 3 pages per 1 static dialogue scene. I noticed you slowed down a bit at the end and drew much more simplified panels as well as you started using same panels many times. Good. It's okay to go the easier way. No one wants you to overwork yourself and burnout. No one wants you to have trauma with drawing and not wanting to draw comic ever again. It's extremely generous of you that you posted for absolutely free such a wonderful and huge piece of art. I'm endlessly grateful.
11. The plot
I love how you started from one simple idea of giving Crow more arc, and then gradually extended it into a whole huge fixfiction. It went so smoothly it looked like really one different decision of one person can change the whole timeline. It went so naturally, it felt so realistic as if I read something that Andrew Hussie wrote as a coexisting canon.
I have to admit, the whole idea of not doomed and not canon timeline is pretty ridiculous, and I love every bit of it. Paradoxally, it sounds so much like something that could actually exist in Homestuck canon. I love it
A few little things I didn't like that much
I wouldnt be myself if I didn't comment on some stuff that wasn't perfect. I'll be bery brief with that, because these things didn't really bothered me that much, I just want to share a little bit of criticism I have.
I hope it won't sound rude when I say that I didn't really felt like you understand the character of Nepeta very well? She didn't felt that like Nepeta in your fanfiction, at least for me. I felt like some stuff were explained a bit too many times. I know that characters needed that, yet we as viewers already know some stuff and didn't need to read it again. Also, I really missed the type styles of characters. I know how hard it is to keep it through entire fanfiction, especially writing some of the characters with quite complicated type style. I just missed it a bit. On the other hand it made a few characters much more comprehensive.
I hope I didn't hurt you with this few words of critics. Now I want to share a few of my favorite pages, I hope you don't mind if I end this letter with fangirling over your drawings. I actually wanted to do a lot of comments during reading your fanfiction, but the website didn't let comments. Sadly. That's why I'm writing here. And now is time I will do what I wanted to do back then:
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This scene, my fav scene in Homestuck, got so extended in your fanfiction, I felt so gifted and it wasn't even my birthday
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I cried.
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This. Made me laugh so hard. And it's even funnier without context.
I just reached photos limit. Sadly. I'm so grateful for your comic. I love it so much. Thank you again for making it. You're a wonderful person
Hey there! Thank you so much for the letter, and for taking your time translating it to English for me to understand. Since it’s in a list format, I guess I’ll answer as list as well! So:
Crow strider
It was challenging writing Crow because I needed to basically write Dave but with a twist in his personality due to living with the Harley-Egberts and their grandma, in a very cozy and caring environment.
Honestly I don’t think I managed to portray enough Daveness, his personality is very particular and difficult for me to replicate, but I did the best I could and my friend and editor will help me reach the right amount of striderness in the epilogue
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2. A Dave for everyone
Indeed, there’s Dave for everyone. The homestuck epilogues made me realize how lonely Jade ended up, and I always loved Davesprite and jade, but with one being human and the other one a Sprite the relationship was bound to fail, and even tho I wasn’t fond of JadexDavepeta, still i would’ve prefered it to jade being all alone and Davepeta dying fighting Lord English. So now, not only Jade has Crow, and they’re happy, but the Karezi – davekat – daverezi mess all got fused into one, because I love them and their trip was a Little different from in canon. And also Davepeta is around, I don’t think they’ll end up with anyone, but they’ll vibe on EarthC.
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3. More Davepeta
They’re alive, and I like showing the craziness that comes from them knowing all timelines but being above them and detached from them. 
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4. The characters you didn’t use like
I like exploding underused characters. Because with them, you’ve only seen the Surface, but at the same time you have info about them that can be used to make them more profound. If Tavros got revived, why isn’t he mad at Vriska? What was he doing those 3 years in the bubbles? If Jasprose is a seer and has knowledge of all timelines due to being ultimate self, doesn’t that make her the ultimate clairvoyant? Doesn’t that mean she’s the key to winning? Does she miss the mother like rose does? If there’a already an Arquius, why make another? Why not have just Hal as a Sprite and have him figure out what being alive is actually like?. You get the Surface of the characters and knowing what you know about them, you dig deeper, until you find their humanity and write about it.
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5. Godtier Karkat
I love Karkat on Homestuck, but I feel like the character lost weight towards the end of the story, he stopped being the leader and while everyone went and fought someone important like the Condesce, the jacks, the dogjack, or Lord English, he was just somewhere else doing whatever. I wanted to give him his hero moment that closes his development.
As for the door, I feel like in canon john was the right choice to open the door, he’s the hero and the leader, not to mention it’s a human session, it makes total sense and I wouldn’t change it
Every story has things that don’t get to be explored, because that would make them too long and cut the flow, making it unreadable. That why we love fan fictions and AUs so much, they take the pieces and reassemble them into something new, filling the empty spaces.
What makes the events on AUs fun is that they didn’t happen in canon. So if John opened the door in canon, and it was right, then Karkat can open this one, and it can be right on this specific timeline. He gets closure from the door he never got to open, and takes back his role as a leader, even if it’s just for a moment, since the battle is over by now. He’s the leader once again, but this time he understands the weight of it in a way he couldn’t grasp when he was 13, claimed he was in charge and let everyone down. He now understands it’s not just something you ask for, it’s something you earn, he’s now the Knight of blood, god of bonds, he took down the Condesce in the name of his species, and will open the door for his peers to enter the new universe they created together where they’ll create a free society, he became what the signless predicted, his rightful successor. His arc is completed.
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6. Extended arcs
Jas was planned since the beginning to close crow’s arc about his rose and his regrets about leaving her behind. It’s only when he’s made peace with losing her, has left his old self behind and is ready to face the battle and his future, that he gets his reward. He gets her back, in the strangest way
With Nanna, i just though nobody ever focused that there was an actual adult around during the whole adventure, Nanna would’ve spent a lot of time around john and jade, them being each others remaining family. So I tried to give her the role of a guardian, breaking a Little with this “orphaned children on their own” that all characters have.
Honestly I tried to make it as interesting as I could, sometimes I would take characters that didn’t have any screen time and think, what can they do? What’s in their mind at this moment that they could tackle in conversation? And with whom? Who else needs screen time?. And that’s how you get, Jake and Tavros bonding, Nepeta, Fefeta, Davepeta and Feferi ship-chat, Arquius telling Terezi and Karkat about Erisol, Hal comforting Eridan, ect.
It’s actually a really cool writing exercise I do sometimes. I grab two characters that have nothing in common, and write a conversation between them. What’s the common ground? Are their stories alike in some way? Do they have a common hobby or worry? It’s really cool because you find stuff about the characters you never paid attention to before
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7. Unlikely ships
Tavros and Jane came from me wanting Tavros to be more assertive. In canon Vriska instructed him to not interact with the Alpha kids during those 6 months, but since this Tavros doesn’t listen to her because he took self-esteem lessons from Rufioh, I felt like he probably spent that time actually being a guide to Jane and then becoming Friends while solving puzzles, Jane being a fan of mysteries and Tavros probably missing his flarp days. Also theres a funny thing about Tavros and Jane, and it’s Tavros is supposed to represent Peter pan, while Vriska is supposed to represent both Tinkerbell (she dressed up like a fairy for him and later became an actual fairy) being attracted to him but being short fused when rejected, and also represent Captain Hook, Peter pan’s enemy (with her flarp persona and her ancestor being a pirate), but she’s not Wendy in any way, and I feel like Jane is, she’s the homeschooled girl, with blue eyes who looked through her window waiting to be free because her father wouldn’t let her out (also Wendy’s brother was named john who used big glasses). She’s a normal girl coming in contact with this fairy boy from a world of only children. Idk, makes sense to me. (besides, Wendy darling’s daughter, who Peter pan later takes on adventures too was named Jane, who also has blue eyes)
Erisol and Arquius was a crack ship that suddenly made sense, because it’s one-sided, and I feel like arquius is a caring person, he just has a difficult time socializing like a normal person. He’s just really happy to be a sprite and is pissed by Erisol’s insistence on wanting to explode.
Also, Arquius promising Fefeta that he wouldn’t break Erisol’s neck unless he had a good reason ( he kinda wanted to) and eventually having to break his neck for the good reason of god tiering him (he now doesn't want to and feels bad about it) was something I planned for months
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Josh and dirk, i think it’s funny. Dirk wouldn’t have dated jade because she’s a girl, but Josh is a boy so it’s good, AND, he’s like a more direct, version of Jake who takes no bullshit.
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8. The topic of transgender
Originally the second spaceship post retcon was supposed to arrive empty, or with only Davesprite, but I saw an opportunity to solve a division in the audience. Some people were interested in John remaining as he was, while others wanted to see June. Since John never showed any doubts about his gender in canon, it wasn’t in my original plans for June to make an appearance during CSAU, because the comic only covered the same period of time as canon. But when it came time to write the retcon I realized I had an opportunity to make them both coexist, making a shift in the timeline, but said shift being there both since the beginning and for the purpose of surviving the recon. Making June and Josh a reality since the beginning, so the timeline would survive the consequences of the two Egberts crossing paths post retcon.
It’s nice to hear you liked it, I know not everyone did. I tried to be respectful but at the same time be true to the nonsensical nature of canon Homestuck that makes timelines twist and change to the story’s convenience, making the events real but chaotic. Also since i knew John’s dad wasn’t coming back and Jane’s dad wouldn’t make it, June would be the last remaining conection to John’s old home and so John would be June's, relying on eachother for comfort when it comes to the loss of their father and home.
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9. Eridan and Sollux
I want to cover Eridan’s redemption in the epilogue, since all we know is he grew as a person during his time in the bubbles, leading to his change of heart interacting with Sollux and Kanaya
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10. Art style
Thank you! I like to give the characters a full range of emotions and for the surroundings to accompany that
No need to be sorry for learning through my art, in the end my style, like everyone else’s, is bits and pieces from other artists we’ve seen, admired and/or learned from. Just make sure to add your personal touch to make your artstyle trully yours
It’s true that by the end I reused more static panels for dialogue, both because there was a lot for the characters to say, not that much action left, and my battery was running low haha
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11. The plot
I tried my best for the story to be a big butterfly effect steaming from crow’s decision to ascend, working towards the most possible outcomes like Crow getting grimdarked by the Condesce too, the sprites surviving because of Nanna and so on
I wanted this timeline to coexist with canon because I don’t like the idea of overwriting it, canon happened and was important, CSAU just happened to be taking place close by
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12. Things you didn’t like
I do in fact not understand the character of Nepeta very well, I reread Homestuck in order to get the original troll's personality better, but Nepeta is a character I don’t get. On top of that, she doesn’t appear much in CSAU so didn’t have much time to develop her.
I do struggle with over explaining, I think is stems from not wanting the reader to be confused (it has happened on discord that people come and ask me what was going on in the story when i thought I had written it in a way people could understand with no problems), which leads to me explaining everything too bluntly sometimes, so the characters sometimes ramble TOO much, and I wish I could go back and reduce the dialogs, but that would involve going back to the page’s codes to delete certain pages and replace others, and also changing the programming for the page’s backgrounds, not to mention my computer crashes when I try to modify pages too far back, since they’re 4000 of them. It’s one of those things I can only learn from and try to do better in the next project
The character’s typing was a core part of Homestuck because it was mostly portrayed as blocks of texts and the quirks made it easy to know who was talking even with people having the same typing color. The reason I didn’t use them it’s simply because I could barely write good enough in English, let alone add quirks. My friend offered me to add the quirks at some point when we were revising the dialogs, but I declined because some people found it easier to read without them and I didn’t want to add another step to the render of the pages.
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13. Favorite pages
I also cried with that Gamzee panel, I planned it for months and i waited a long time to draw those last panels, I’m glad they made people laugh
Haha, also yeah, the Strider reunion got really extended with so many extra striders. Davepeta, Crow and Hal making the reunion complete
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Thank you for this message! i'll do my best to write a good epilogue (which by now is actually a secuel) and i hope you have a great day🌻🌻🌻
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penny-for-thots · 8 days
Note
winbre boys + easily overestimulated reader ; not requested :[
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incl. suo, sakura, nirei, umemiya, togame, + choji.
ⓘ there are some moments where you can't avoid discomfort; luckily, your lovely boyfriend is there to help. gn!reader — hurt / comfort. light cursing, descriptions / allusions to a panic attack, mention of anxiety + overestimulation, light teasing, + just hugs ; spur of the moment idea because i just left a repass in new orleans. and if you're black, you know niggas is loud and talk for hours without moving. the combination of loud ass music, 5 different convos at my table, and my "comfort person" you could call her, leaving was alot so i got very overestimulated and decided to write this :]
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⋆𐙚 ₊.ᐟ HAYATO SUO
as we've all ... observed, suo is a very observant person. especially, when it deals with people close to him (typically sakura). he notices things others might not, it could be something so obscure, but he'll find a moment to make a little tease or quip about it. this little "quirk" of his doesn't just stop at his friends, it extends to you aswell.
despite his constant "habit" of lying and, or instigating, he makes a very loud point of having clear communication and no "important lies" as he says, in the relationship. hense, he quickly learned about how anxious and overestimated you can become in certain social environments.
everytime the two of you go out—especially to places where there is a large collection of people—his hand is holding onto yours firmly. he's made a point not to leave you alone if possible. he's come to realize that: (1) he could be considered your "comfort person" and (2) how quickly you get anxious when you can't see him, or anyone else familiar.
if you're in a space where you have to sit down, everytime you start tapping your leg, he puts a subtle, yet comforting hand on your thigh.
suo is quick to make sure your comfortable. like, before you leave your apartment, "do you have your headphones?"
if you have a sensory bag? bet, he's making sure you have it.
like previously said, he's very observant; as a result, he can point out the signs when you get overestimulated. that, and he's observant of the environment.
ex. if there's a small space with a lot of people near you, loud music, and a whole bunch of moving, he makes the assumption that you either are or going to be getting to that point.
if you're the type to start crying when you get overestimulated, the second he sees your eyes get glossy he's getting you out of there.
suo notices the way you seem to zone out, when you start picking at your skin or fiddling with your fingers, when you start to look around anxiously, when start to take deep breaths to calm yourself, etc.
he periodically leans whispering to you, "are you okay?"
"are you ready to go?" is a phrase that's used frequently. this time is one of the only times where you see a genuine expression of concern on his face.
if you start start panicking, like breathing hard, fingers digging into your thighs, clearly disassociating, etc. he's immediately taking you somewhere quiet. at first, he tries to ask if you want to move or if he can touch you. but if you don't respond he's yanking you from your seat and forcibly taking you somewhere calmer.
suo is person who can help by talking you out of a panic or anxiety attack. whether it be telling a story or making teasing remarks about some of your/his friends.
"did you see those socks he was wearing?" his face scrunches, "he could've picked something better. personally, i, would've never walked out of the house with clown socks."
at times he'll even make some teasing remarks about you, though they're all remarks he knows will go over well with you. nine times out of ten, its something so stupid or lame that it makes you pause and give him a look.
"shh, don't cry. your ugly crying face needs to go so i can see your regular pretty face."
"please, don't dirty your pretty face with anymore tears."
"you're gonna make me cry, onions must me getting cut."
"draaama queen~, someone's gonna pull out a camera if you keep sobbing like Laura Dern."
he's very unserious in moments he observes it'd be okay to cheer you up with that method. after he sees a hint of smile, or any moment that shows you've calmed down he softly intertwines your fingers (of course, he asks if he can touch you), then he guves a soft kiss to your cheek or temple.
he's like a dad who cheers up his kids, because he's automatically getting you yout favorite snack.
ice cream? chips? a favorite drink? "let me get it for you."
overall - 9/10, he's very attentive and observant, and carefully judges what you need in the moment. he gets a point off because of his stupid ass jokes.
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⋆𐙚 ₊.ᐟ HARUKA SAKURA
already 2/10.
i am so sorry, but he is no help whatsoever. he's barely touched anyone until that damn handshake with sugishita (or his constant fighting). him comforting you??? babe your screwed.
even if you tell him in advance that you get overestimulated in certain situations, when the actual problem arises he panics himself. so now there's two panicking people instead of one. that first time, you'd have to help yourself and use your own methods.
however, after that first time, he felt guilty :[, so he quickly ran to kotoha or suo to ask for advice. he genuinely feels horrible that he couldn't help you, so he desperately tries to figure out ways to help you without asking you yourself. that is, until kotoha, suo, nirei, and kiryu were like "why don't you ask?"
he—while thoroughly embarrassed—went to ask you what you need and how to help. and listened intently to you. he's not "letting you suffer like that again."
after asking both is friends and you, he's gotten better at the comfort and helping thing, that doesn't always mean the best.
the first time you didn't feel like being touched and slapped his hand away he felt like his heart break and he got angry. after that, he started asking to touch you.
sakura is god awful at words of encouragement, so he doesn't even try.
he's also, god awful at good hugs, but- he tries to get better.
something he is good at his getting you out of a situation and to a calmer and, or peaceful place. like, he's pushing though people, guiding you the a crowd and getting you comfortable instantly. no time wasted.
he's also good at listening.
he may not provide good advice or words of encouragement, but he is good at nodding along and listening to you cry (he's internally panicking) or talk about how bothered or irritated you are, if you can.
sakura is still very nervous at holding your hand, but he'll try for you, shaky hand and all.
he's also the boyfriend to suggest food when you've calmed down.
overall - 6/10, he gets bumped up a few points because he's at least trying.
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⋆𐙚 ₊.ᐟ AKIHIKO NIREI
yk that gayass notepad/notebook where he has info on like ... everyone? yeah, he has one of those solely for you. he writes down everything. things he thinks he might forget and things he know he won't, yet he just does.
at the start of your relationship, after hearing about how you tend to get overwhelmed or overestimulated easily, he's jotting that down and asking a million questions on how he can help. if he freaks you out, he immediately sputters out apologizes and notes down what not to do.
of course, that isn't to say he walks on eggshells around you.
he's aware of how you don't want to be treated like a toddler but a person who has a couple of extra needs.
best believe his ass gets overestimulated too.
if you don't already have a sensory bag, he's suggesting you get one and is eagerly helping you figure out what to put in it. if your headphones break, you can have/borrow one of his five pairs of headphones. then he recommends which brand to buy next.
he's dragging you and himself out of overwhelming situations.
sometimes he tries to be tough and shit and then suo is next to him, observing the two of you, and then like- heavily encourages the two of you to leave lmao.
you and him, two peas in a fucking pod 🤞🏾
4 liferssss who share similar sensory issues. no joke, he gets you. he's immediately there to help you and quickly judges what method he could try to help you out.
trust he has some crunchy snack in his pocket to give to you that helps take your mind off of the stressful environment.
he has that sweet little smile on his face and there's clear worry in his eyes, "are you okay? s-should we leave, or?"
this boy is attentive asf to your needs. like, he gets happy from helping you. if you're willing, he gives the tightest comforting hugs. i swear he's so fucking sweet.
overall - 9.5/10. he's attentive and understanding, he gets it and he rushes to action. though, half a point is deducted because he himself can be overestimating at times.
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⋆𐙚 ₊.ᐟ HAJIME UMEMIYA
umemiya is another person who can be really overestimating, even when trying to help you. however, he is very in tune with your emotions. he makes sure to be able to. hence, he can easily point out when he's doing a bit too much and he tones it down.
umemiya is also a type similar to suo. he's watching you very closely in social settings where a lot of things are going on: sounds, people, etc.
he gets you out.
like, surprisingly, he's very eager to ditch sometimes. especially if its for you, he's out.
he also tells stupid ass jokes; however, they are guaranteed to make you laugh. or at least draw you out of panic and into slight confusion at whatever the hell he said.
"what? am i just that amazing as a comedian i made you speechless?"
that shit makes you roll your eyes at him so much lmfao.
umemiya is a 'i give comfort through hugs' type of person. he is very eager and very willing to give you a hug. if pressure is a way you are able to calm down, he's quickly asking if he can hug you and then gives you biggest, tightest, yet most comforting bear hug ever.
his hugs successfully calm you down. they work every single time.
if that doesn't work, he's at least trying to get you to a calm place or give you something that will help you calm down/distract you.
like, when he starts to notice your typical signs, he's locked in.
full attention on you and mind pondering on what you need. he knows that even a fresh breath of air or a glass of water can help. if you can't immediately leave or anything like that, that is the first thing he does. he grabs you some water and encourages you to drink it.
literally doing everything to help.
the lights bother you? he's covering them with his hands or a jacket. cold? jacket already around you. sleepy? you can rest your head on his shoulder. irritated? let's leave. too much noise? hears your headphones.
if you're the type to be fidgety or mess with cloths and different textures to calm you down, he lets you do it.
whether it be your fingers in his hair, your fingertips rubbing the fabric of his pants or shirt, your hands stroking his, he lets you do anything. if he or something on him can help you, go ahead.
normally, he's quite nonchalant about it. i mean, he knows what to do. this has happened before, its cool.
but the second you start crying, he starts freaking out. he takes a deep breath and kneels before you. his thumbs are quickly wiping your tears and he's speaking to you softly to get to a solution.
"come on, baby. look at me," he coos, "it's okay. i need you to communicate with me."
he's so damn soft and gentle with you. a hand is on your thigh and another on your cheek. "breathe, let's do our breathing exercises, yeah?"
he counts with you, puts your hand or ear to his chest so you can feel or hear his heartbeat. he's always calm and patient in these instances.
and when you calm there's a soft smile on his face with his eyes filled with love. "see, you did it. i told you, you could. good job, baby," he whispers, pressing kisses to the palm of your hand.
umemiya is like your knight in shining armor. he's sweeping you out of a stressful place and to somewhere comfortable. he's grabbing popcorn and skittles, blankets and slippers, and he nearly drags you to the couch so the two of you can sit comfortably and watch a couple of movies and cuddle.
overall - 10/10. the best, i don't exaggerate. you will be calm, and you will feel safe and sound with him.
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⋆𐙚 ₊.ᐟ JO TOGAME
certified introvert.
trust, this man knows what it feels like to be anxious or irritated around large groups of people. he doesn't quite feel intimidated or upset when it comes to sounds, textures, lights, and stuff. but he does understand that you do and he aims to either avoid the risk of overestimulation (the bad kind), anxiety attacks, etc. or he strives to make sure he can quickly get rid of your problems.
he hates it when your in pain.
like- he'd kill himself for letting you get hurt even if it was something mundane.
he's more for silent or subtle comforting when it comes to you. sometimes he wants to make a scene, sometimes he doesn't. but he's overall a person who doesn't want you to feel embarrassment or be ashamed from him being extra as hell to comfort you.
like a secure hand on your hip, thigh, your hand in his, little kisses, anything to ground you.
he has them big ass pants with those big ass pockets, just know he's carrying necessities for you if your outfit doesn't allow it.
togame just has a face that calms you down. like his eyes, his smile, just looking at him provides a sense of comfort.
he's also a 'stand behind you in the elevator' boyfriend.
in large crowds, one hand is resting on your lower back, guiding you through the people. and if need be, his other hand is grasping yours. the way he treats you, you'd think you were pregnant with his baby or something. this man treats you like fucking royalty, ok?
he talks you through everything.
you start seeming like you're panicking, or if you actively are, he carefully guide you and sits you down, whispering or speaking softly to you.
"sweetheart? i want you to copy me. don't think about anything else, just me. focus on me," he whispers, guiding you through breathing. his hand is holding yours, his thumb rubbing soothing circles onto your skin.
literally the man.
togame is the type to not wait. first sign, "do we need to leave?"
normally, he works at stalls during festivals, right? he invites you to come with him to work, but if you can't he holds no grudge. fireworks or people too loud? that's cool we leave and watch them from afar.
i mean, him being the introvert he is, he doesn't mind missing out on a couple of stuff. please, he's eager to stay inside with you if possible.
tthough, choji's nagging can be annoying.
he's not so much a person to hug you with pressure to calm you, but he offers to cuddle with him. he kisses the top of your head, soothingly rubbing your back.
if someone is clearly bothering you, he quickly steps in.
togame plays no games about you.
overall - 10/10. the man (of my dreams). caring, willing to carry around your shit, doing everything he can to help, he eats. he's the man bro.
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⋆𐙚 ₊.ᐟ CHOJI TOMIYAMA
0/10, why.
choji tomiyama is a pure extrovert. he comes in bright and loud like the sun. the two of you aren't quite compatible.
just like he's done to togame, he like—drags you out. he's definitely a 'lets get out of the house!' typa guy.
he's an extrovert.
hell, he probably has adhd. i wouldn't be fucking surprised. the boy is a ball of pure unaltered energy. he bounces around with the energy and enthusiam as a child. he'd be luffy if he had the damn gum-gum fruit.
he is not the best at understanding that to some people (you), he is very overestimulating. it not until you force him to sit down and talk with you does he get it through his head. you'd have to nearly punch him to get him to focus. im telling you, he's so bad at it.
but he tries.
this ultimately results in "his light dimming." like- he tones it down so much he holds himself back so he doesn't potentially hurt you. despite how he seems, he is extremely adverse to harming you in any way, shape, or form. he loves you.
this sparks another conversation of, how he doesn't need to hold himself back and that its a you problem.
you'd likely have to explain the things you do to prevent feeling too anxious and stuff, which leads to him being verh enthusiastic about helping you.
choji would of course, do the logical thing, ask if you want to leave or grab headphones, or anything to calm you. but since he learned that he should communicate and try and get to the root of the problem he won't shut up.
he's asking you sixty-dozen questions—all of which is to help you—though that doesn't mean it isn't annoying.
choji is also a person to suggest food.
if he picks up that you're stressed or feeling overwhelmed he's grabbing your wrist and dragging you to closest candy shop or bakery to get some food.
he watches you like a damn hawk when you eat too. that bright expression of curiosity on his face as he hopes you feel better.
(i cant think of anything else)
overall - 4/10. he tries. he really does, but sometimes he's not being helpful, just annoying or overwhelming you more. he himself is overestimulating so, he's not doing much. but he tries!
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ineffable-endearments · 10 months
Text
When you (generic, universal) talk about theories about the end of Season 2 and Aziraphale going to Heaven, you often run up against either:
taking everything at face value to the point of ignoring that some details contradict one another
or
accidentally nullifying major emotional, plot, and character beats by implying that they Didn't Really Happen.
A lot of the differences in analyses, especially ones that I like (LOL), can be explained by the fact that we're analyzing a character who is experiencing massive cognitive dissonance and believes a number of contradictory things at once.
Nobody is wrong to point out Aziraphale's need to Belong to a Good Cause, which makes his acceptance of the Supreme Archangel position entirely in-character; nobody is wrong to point out Aziraphale's anxiety around the Metatron, which indicates that he may have been coerced.
Did Aziraphale go back to Heaven because he's afraid of what will happen if he keeps refusing, or because the Metatron made an implicit threat? Did he go back to Heaven because he's vulnerable to flattery and wants to feel important? Did he go back to Heaven because he thought it would be a way to be permanently safe with Crowley? Or did he go back because he missed belonging to something Good, something bigger than himself? All of the above. It's all of them.
Yes, even though it's incredibly dissonant to believe a system that he KNOWS is dangerous and coercive can accomplish true Goodness, that is in fact his belief.
Admittedly, this is no one I follow - just random comments I see around from people I don't know very well - but it seems like some people out there are assuming Aziraphale can't possibly be making any plans to do anything remotely intelligent, because this would mean that he is already aware that Heaven is bad and would therefore leave no room for character growth.
Except no, that's not necessarily what it means. In fact, the cognitive dissonance is the main thing he is going to have to resolve. Having that dissonance - the belief that Heaven's ideals are genuine, along with the understanding that Heaven is dangerous and needs to be carefully manipulated - is what will move his plot forward. Mindless obedience wouldn't progress his story any more than magic brainwashing coffee would, and it would be equally inconsistent with his story and motivations so far.
The dissonance is the point. And part of the dissonance is that he already knows Heaven is dangerous - he just hasn't accepted what that means yet. It would make sense for him to simultaneously try to work within Heaven's system and watch his own back.
Also, only partly related: Neil might write a story about how the worst people exploit the need to belong and to be Good. He might write a story about how we have to become our own greater good. He might write a story about how to rebuild after you discover your greater good is not so great or good after all. He is not going to write a story about how having any faith or trust in something objectively bigger and stronger than yourself makes you a stupid clown who is wrong about literally everything and shouldn't have even tried.
Let Aziraphale fuck up. He needs to and he will. Whatever plans he was making in that elevator won't actually succeed. But give him credit where it's due.
Edited to add: And you know what? When he fucks up, he's going to get through it. And then he's going to do the right thing. And he's going to get it right when it matters the most.
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lovefrombegonia · 25 days
Text
Just random rambling on Shen Jiu:
Shen Jiu is so great. Like he despises men but also finds the company of women embarrassing. He hates when someone has authority on him but also knowingly, intentionally makes bad, horrible, villainous decisions. His introduction was him about to smash a kid's brain out because the kid was "taking the best begging spot". He has so much ego, so much superiority complex but also dying with deep inferiority complex. What is...WTF is wrong with him?? Like, babygirl, sit down? Have a tanghulu? Drink some relaxing tea?? Stop abusing the child, and maybe get some therapy?? Stop projecting on your female disciple, you fucking weirdo?? Stop abusing your soulmate??? But no. HE KNOWS ALL OF THE WRONG HE IS DOING. He knows he is a bitch ass loser. And he will still pretend to be the master of the universe. He is like "I can tell myself I am doing wrong but YOU CAN'T DO THAT." Shen Jiu is a clown. A clown. Who won't leave my mind. He is just there, you know. Just there at the corner of my mind, glaring at me with his arrogant stare. A clown, an idiot, an insufferable gremlin. He is a ghoul with a pretty face but his prettiness is lost in the ugly scowl.
I saw this post on twt talking about SJ is NOT a misogynist. And I agree. He is not a misogynist, by definition. He doesn't hate women. He just doesn't think women are a threat to him, which gives him some sense of safety. But he also thinks women are weak. So, in that way, you could say he is one. But I don't think so, personally. He is a misandrist tho. He hates all men. He even hates himself LMAO
This is why his loyalty towards Yue Qingyuan is so confusing. Him saving Liu Qingge is confusing. He spared the women in the house when killing them all, yes, including qiu haitang, when he would have saved himself a lot of trouble, if he was able to do that. Like, what happened, babes? Did your long dead conscience wake up for a second? His long dead conscience also seems to wake up at the cost of his IQ because the dude will not even clear up any misunderstandings. I remember a great line in ATLA series said by Iroh. I am paraphrasing: pride is not an absence of shame/inferiority but source of it. This applies SO WELL to this infuriating man. This fucking joker sitting at the corner of my mind. He has so much ego. So much of "ooff they hate me anyways, why bother even clearing up" and "they are beneath me, why should I clear up". He really manifested his own fall from grace. He even realised he is manifesting all that but he won't clear it up. Why didn't he even clear up that Qiu House was abusing him when QHT blamed him? Was he too ashamed to tell others that he was so "weak", he was beaten by those men? I really find him annoying...
And he genuinely didn't think that yqy won't just give up his life for him...huh... Umm? He protected you when he genuinely thought you murdered your martial brother. How did that not click?? You thought he did that coz you thought that he thought this will stain his "honor" if this thing comes out in the open, but it was ALREADY OUT IN THE OPEN!!!
Actually, ykw I am stopping rn coz this clown is pissing me off. See, this is why, I don't like thinking too much about him coz he just sucks me in. Just SUCKS ME IN LIKE A BLACKHOLE. He is a blackhole. He is terrifying, fascinating, he cannot be defined in simple terms but also simply calling him a scum makes sense. If Shen Jiu could become a heavenly demon, he would manifest as the god of rot and vengeance. He rots everything he touches and vengeance defines his rise in and fall from power.
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eldritch-nightmare · 9 months
Note
Hi hi !! 🎀 anon here! May I get some HCs of Laughing Jack, Tim Wright/Masky and Jeff the Killer with an affectionate clingy s/o please and thank you! 🥹👉👈
(An unrelated note regarding last time: My job and boss is actually super cool and they said I can dye my hair!! I’m so stoked eek! <3 magenta highlights, once again, after so many years, here I come! They have been missed…)
a/n: omg yay!! happy you get to dye your hair!! <3
with an affectionate and clingy gn!s/o.
includes: laughing jack, jeff the killer, and tim wright.
warnings: uh... none... i don't think.
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LAUGHING JACK.
Out of all three, Laughing Jack is definitely the most stoked about having an affectionate and clingy significant other.
My guy has terrible abandonment issues, and he can be a bit clingy himself if the mood calls for it, so to have someone who doesn't want to leave his side? Might as well return him to heaven or something, because nothing will ever get better than that.
He is equally as affectionate if we're being honest.
Yeah, he's a big scary evil clown and all that terrorizes children but he knows how to be nice to the people he likes.
Knowing that you cling to him the way you do, it helps reassure him that you don't intend on leaving anytime soon. I mean, if you wanted to leave him, then you wouldn't be clinging to him like you always seem to do, right?
And so long as you keep clinging to him like you do, then his abandonment issues will rarely ever show up and everything will be all good and a-okay.
JEFF THE KILLER.
Hm... he can't decide if he likes you being clingy or if it annoys him. He won't lie, he loves the attention and it feeds his ego whenever you praise him or call him beautiful. You being affectionate is something he knows he likes. But he's not sure if he's fond of the clingy part or not.
When he first met Nina, she was pretty damn clingy as well, and that made him grow to hate her. To be fair, he didn't harbor any feelings for her. He does harbor feelings for you, however, and it feels different when you cling to him.
There are days when he can't stand you clinging to him, and he'll make it known in a rather rude way, to be honest. But there are also days when he wants you to cling to him because sometimes, your clinging to him feels a lot more genuine than your affectionate words.
He's very 50/50 on it, and it can change by the hour, to be honest. But he's fine with it more often than he's not. Only because he likes you.
But will he ever actually tell you that he likes it? Probably not.
It'll be fairly obvious though. Jeff may be rude, but he's not exactly the best at hiding his emotions around people he feel comfortable with.
TIM WRIGHT.
Please give him time to adjust because holy shit there's no way he'll be immediately comfortable with you clinging to him. He can barely take a compliment without feeling uncomfortable, so there's no way he'll be fine with physical affection right off the bat.
He'll tense up whenever you throw your arms around him, and it'll be very awkward because he's not entirely sure what he's supposed to do. Does he hug you back or does he just stand there? He's never been super close to people like this before, so it's all still very new to him.
If he becomes too uncomfortable, he'll let you know and will definitely put some distance between the two of you until he no longer feels that way.
He doesn't feel suffocated by your affection and clingy behavior, it's just something he's struggling to get used to because, I mean, Tim does have the mindset of 'I don't deserve this type of love' so it's very hard for him to accept it.
He'll definitely distance himself from you entirely during the events of Marble Hornets because there's no way he wants you getting involved, and he already blames himself for everything that's happening. He doesn't want anything to happen to you.
And if you're still around after the events of Marble Hornets, then honestly he would need your clinginess to ground him.
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beanghostprincess · 5 months
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Rayleigh and Buggy reunion, but Rayleigh is being over the top judgemental about everything, like idk if u are familiar with crazy ex girlfriend the TV show but Rayleigh shows up and acts exactly like Rebecca's mom does. Overcritical of his life choices and dismissive of what he perceives as excuses coming from Buggy, because he knows Buggy's true potential and is annoyed with Buggy not living up to it. He gives Crocodile a once over and goes "is that what you found to replace Shanks with" and moves on and Crocodile doesn't even have a moment to compute the way he was just insulted because Rayleigh has moved on to criticising Mihawk's cooking instead. Worst part is, this all comes from a genuine place of love and care, Rayleigh is legitimately worried sick about his baby clown son of 39 years, but he cannot express that worry without being extremely invasive about everything. Buggy isn't even responding, he just shoots ppl apologetic looks and rolls his eyes when Rayleigh isn't looking because of course he does this obviously Buggy is never good enough for him and Shanks had always been the favourite (you ask Shanks or any other Roger pirate and they will tell you that Buggy is Rayleigh's baby boy and absolute favourite with utmost confidence, too bad the emotional constipation runs in the crew). Dinner is awkward as fuck, because Rayleigh makes attempts at being easygoing but his motherhenning nature irt Buggy shines through, his conviction that Buggy would be happier with Shanks by his side is making him be overcritical of everyone in that dinner and he keeps discussing the good old days and subtly hinting at Buggy that there is still time for him to go back to Shanks....and Buggy looks close to frustrated tears (and everyone agrees, Crocodile has snapped 5 cigars in half with his teeth and Mihawk is 5 seconds away from banging his head on the table).
Just overbearing father Rayleigh being stifling and trying to overcompensate for his shit parenting choices during Buggy's childhood and Buggy having his daddy issues expanded upon (and Crocodile and Mihawk gaining insight to Buggy's entire deal)
"Idk if u are familiar with crazy ex girlfriend the TV sho-" My therapist literally told me to stop watching it so much because it was affecting my mental health. So. Yes. I know the show. It's one of my favorite shows EVER. Rebecca is just like me fr my beloved. All of them my beloveds. The songs my beloveds. Don't make me go into CEG x OP because I won't finish. And as you can see, I did not listen to my therapist.
Even though I've always seen Rayleigh as the one who understands Buggy the most (Roger and him love Shanks and Buggy equally but it is quite obvious they put more pressure on Shanks to be more like Roger and that only made things worse by making Buggy's inferiority complex exist) and the one who stands up more for him and comforts him when needed, it is true that he might be more judgemental and he'd be worried for Buggy. Like. Think about it. Roger died and the kids (their kids) ended up alone and going their own separate ways. For Rayleigh, finding out Shanks and Buggy aren't together is just?? So weird?? Because they've always been together. Birds of a feather (if somebody mentions the song 'Two Birds' I am punching them because I can't handle that song today please). And it's just... Well, surprising. 'But as long as they're okay' but they're obviously not okay!!! And it's not that Rayleigh is judging Buggy. In fact, I think he would do the same with Shanks. The second Rayleigh sees Shanks he's already saying he drinks too much (even for a pirate) and that he's been acting recklessly and "What the fuck are you doing without Buggy? Is this because of Buggy?" / "I do not drink because of him. It's- It's not about him. He left-" / "HE LEFT AND YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING?????" / "I hate it when you get like this" / "Like what?" / "Like you want to still do something about my life. I'm an adult, thank you very much-" / "No, you're not if you keep acting this way". And I personally think Rayleigh would just be worried for the both of them and also feel extremely guilty because he wasn't there to fix things when they fought, the way he always did. "The second I left you alone you two start a fight that lasts two decades?" and he would say this to both of them and they would hate it.
But yeah, going back to Buggy I think he'd be worried because. Well. Have you seen Crocodile and Mihawk? I mean. They're kind of on good terms with Buggy now (more or... More or less. Kind of. They're not equals but they're some sort of weird thing and they respect and care for each other. More or less. It's- It's complicated. Don't ask) but they're still them. And Rayleigh can't help but see the situation and be like "I'm proud you made a name of yourself, kid, but you don't have to do this if you don't want to" (meaning: You could go back to Shanks any time you wanted) and Buggy takes it as an "You could go back to Shanks any time you wanted because you'd be safer with him" instead of the real "You could go back to Shanks any time you wanted because you'd be happier with him and this war of pride and hearts you have going on is dumb". And he understands Buggy needs to be away from Shanks to grow, but it's just so, so sad to see them like this when they used to love each other so damn much.
Also, I think Buggy would be going through the worst moment of his life and Crocodile and Mihawk would be so done for different reasons. First, they don't give a fuck about all of this drama. And second, they are starting to see Buggy more like a person and understand why he is the way he is, and the things Rayleigh is saying are bothering them a lot. They've been trying to make the clown move on from his past so he's useful for once (because when he believes in himself he's actually not a burden and more interesting) and now this guy (that they respect because it's Silvers Fucking Rayleigh) comes and tries to change things around here? Nope. Not happening.
So basically, what you're trying to tell me is that Rayleigh regrets raising the boys that way and now he's overcompensating and it's overwhelming for everyone, right? I- I love it. Great plot. 10/10. In character. Perfect. It makes me go insane. I love their daddy issues.
(Also, can we talk about how "This Was a Shit Show" and "What'll it be" are extremely Buggy songs??? Because- Because now I want to-)
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yayyyy 💕 then can i ask for a scenario in which the reader, who’s a trans guy, volunteering to be the bride in the ghost groom scenario and threatening to stab anyone who says anything about him looking like a girl with platonic feng xin + mu qing and romantic hualian? (or just xie lian, since technically hua cheng is only there for like, .5 seconds lol)
(💥 anon)
Masculine Bride?
HuaLian x ftm(?)reader
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IM SO SORRY 😔 I'VE HAD THE WORST FEW MONTHS OF MY LIFE BUT I LIVE I WILL BE COMPLETING REQUESTS AGAIN THANKS FOR NOT GIVING UP ON ME AGAIN GUYS ☺️🖤
____________________________________
☀️Feng Xin didn't want to be in this ridiculous mission at all. He has to deal with Mu Qing in disguise and he has to see Xie Lian who was once his best friend. So it feels a little awkward to him but he gets to see you too! So he's quite happy to see you and Xie Lian again
☀️When he finds out that the plan is to disguise as a bride he immediately says Nuh uh. No way he's doing that, Mu Qing would never live it down.
☀️But when you offer to disguise as the bride, since you do looke somewhat androgynous he's like great!
☀️He doesn't have to do it and he can protect you if you all get in harms way
☀️Honestly he's surprised you volunteered so quickly. Feng Xin knows you'd rather stay in your male form and he knows you don't like appearing feminine much these days. Gods do it all the time so Feng Xin doesn't mind. Have you seen Shi Qingxuan?
☀️So everything was going great, they got you dressed and the one village girl did your makeup so you didn't look like a clown. But then they ran into those annoying men again.
☀️ They were congratulating Xie Lian, Mu Qing, and Feng Xin for finding a pretty bride and even wanted to join up, but they all knew the men just wanted to eat off their success.
☀️So when you laughed and explained you did make a good bride even though you're a man, No one really laughed. The men had genuinely thought you were a woman sooo they try to call your bluff.
☀️You did in fact change forms to look more like a bride but it doesn't feel good to have every single feminine feature to be pointed out. You're used to it so you weren't going to say anything but the group of men freeze and their skin pales when you hear a crack behind you
☀️Feng Xin may or may not have broken a pillar. May or may not have damaged his own temple. . .
☀️it succeeds in shutting the men up because what man is able to just break a God's pillar?!
☀️Feng Xin has to admit he's pretty irritable, but hearing the group of men bully you just pisses him off. He knows he's supposed to be in disguise and not gain your attention but he can't stand by and watch you be passive about it.
☀️ When the men practically evacuate the area you only laugh softly and link arms with him saying, "I found my guard!" You already know it's Feng Xin🙄
🌕Mu Qing was also your best friend and you never really gave him the chance to distance himself from you like he distanced himself from Xie Lian.
🌕Mu Qing has been with you a long time and he knows you're more comfortable identifying as a man. He has no issue with it. It took some time getting used to but he doesn't care as long as you're happy.
🌕so hearing the group of men start pointing you out so blatantly ticks him off. He knows he can't harm mortals but he sure wishes he could.
🌕It's not against the rules to threaten them though, so when he threatened to cut off their hand because it's rude to point isn't against the rules either.
🌕You were surprised honestly, Mu Qing doesn't care about a lot of things and doesn't usually get violent unless it's with Feng Xin.
🌕but you laugh when the group of men run off and you lean on Mu Qing. Saying you're so happy to have your own personal protector
🪷Xie Lian doesn't really fight. It's not that he can't he just doesn't see a point to do so.
🪷but that doesn't mean he'll let people bully you either
🪷 You've stuck with him for awhile so you're used to just taking mean words in stride. Xie Lian has never let them get away with it though.
🪷So it comes as a Surprise to you all when Xie Lian uses rou'ye to tie the group of men up together and he "advised them to go away before something unfortunate happens"
🪷You smiles and kiss his cheek, linking arms with him with a smile.
🪷"You're cute when you're protective"
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wonuwrites · 2 months
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ot13’s reaction to “would you love me if I was a worm?” 🪱
Tbh idk what this is either but i got inspired after eating a cheesy gordita crunch and watched a bird look for food a few days ago so here ya go LMFAOOO
Warning: nothing really. blame taco bell.
also randomly putting songs on that came on for the people in case yall wanted new music to listen to <3
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🪱 S. Coups: (Song Note: this song is so Seungcheol coded and I can't even tell you why lmaoooo)
"A worm?" "A worm," you said before taking a sip of your beverage. One of your favorite past times was asking Seungcheol stupid questions you'd see on tiktok and see his reaction. He always entertained them and you were thankful because both of you knew the answers meant NOTHING and that your relationship was solid. Or so you thought. "Well, if you were a worm I guess I would be a bird." "Excuse me!?" "Yeah, I'd be a bird." "Baby, birds eat worms though..." "Yeah and? Don't I do that every night anyway?" He asked while raising a cheeky eyebrow before taking a sip of his drink. You couldn't help but blush at his crude joke and hit his chest softly which caused him to laugh before pulling you close.
🪱 Jeonghan: (Song Note: im feeling nostalgic today~~ lmfaooooo)
To say you caught Jeonghan off guard is an understatement. You would be in the car with him listening to the radio in a comfortable silence when you just sprung the question on him. He half tempted to pull over and give you a genuine "what the fuck" face but instead he just scoffed and started to laugh. "Where did this question come from, (Y/N)?" He would question you. "Just answer, baby. Would you, Yoon Jeonghan, love me if I was a worm?" The use of his full name made him laugh before he just rubbed your thigh and glanced over at you. "Baby, I love you even when you act like a clown. I would love you no matter what."
🪱 Joshua: (Song Note: I got nothing but like yeehaw lmfaoooo. sorry Shua.)
Sometimes, Jisoo and you would give each other "silent treatments" when you were both play fighting and today, it was Jisoo's time to give you the treatment. Why? Well, you ate some leftovers he was thinking about for the last two hours and it killed his pride lolol. While he wasn't mad because truth be told, he was happy you remembered to eat, but still you should've known he was thinking about it because y'all were 'soulmates' or whatever. You rolled your eyes when you realized he was giving you the silent treatment as he started to make Ramen. You started to just playfully annoy him while wrapping your arms around him and just doing the yapping for both of you. He was close to cracking once you started but he finally lost it when you asked him "would you love me if I was a worm." When he didn't say yes right away, you then gave him the "silent treatment" and then it would be his turn to try to annoy you into talking to him.
🪱 Jun: (Song Note: ooo should I do a "sour" version of this? Someone tell me yes pls)
You honestly caught Jun off guard when you asked him. He would just stare at you confused before slowly nodding at you. When you laughed at his reaction it would make him even more confused. You would drop it shortly after you asked but he would think about it for awhile. Shoot, he might text some of the members for advice because well, you really stumped him hahaha. Before you both went to bed, he would roll over and whisper, "So... would you love me if I was a worm?" You would just roll your eyes before kissing him and telling him of course you would.
🪱 Hoshi: (Song Note: Stan BamBam for clear skin. This shoulda been the title imo.)
Soonyoung and you had a really goofy love life for the most part. Sure, you both had your "serious" moments but there was no questioning that you both knew how to be unserious. Today was one of those days. You both were laying on the couch together watching Spongebob. Soonyoung was mindlessly playing with your hair before you decided to hit him with such an important question for him. "Soonyoung?" "hmmm?" "Would you love me if I was a worm?" His hand would stop massaging your head for a minute while he thought about it. You fake gawked at him because he didn't answer as quick as you thought he should. Before you could scold him he would give you a smirk before wrapping his arms around you tight, "why be a worm when you can be a tigress, (y/n)? Let's be tigers forever and ever and ever." You would groan at the 'tiger agenda' but would laugh as he started kissing you all over your face.
🪱 Wonwoo: (Song Note: literally one of the most underrated songs to EVER exist.)
Wonwoo thought he would be safe from this question when it came to you. You see he had already been hit with this question from several members of the maknae line. *cough cough* Mingyu, Hansol, Seokmin, and Chan. *cough cough* so when y'all where getting ready for bed and you asked him he couldn't help but laugh which would make you so confused. He would just smile at you and find you so precious, "of course I would love you if you were a worm you lil cutie." He would give you a soft kiss before pulling you into his chest while you smiled stupidly and contently at his answer.
🪱 Woozi: (Song Note/Rant: If you are still sleeping on Ian you need to reevaluate your life because OMG.)
To be completely honest, I can see Jihoon just giving you a blank stare because his brain just went ???? he didn't know the trend and the question would break his brain. He didn't know what to say so he would just go "uhh sure?" You would fake sulk at his answer and he probably would text one of the younger members to ask for help. I can see Hansol being like "the answer is always yes!!! omg." LOL
🪱 DK: (Song Note: why do I want Seokmin to sing this to me to help me sleep at night? omg)
You would be sitting next to Seokmin on a park bench watching birds just be birds. You were both waiting for Soonyoung and his partner to meet you for a double date and were currently in a comfortable silence. That was until you asked him, "Seokminnie, would you still love me if I was a worm?" As you asked that, a bird had grabbed a worm from the ground and flew away. You both were flabbergasted at the timing and just broke down laughing together. Once you both calmed down he reminded you he'd always love you no matter the life time but for the rest of the day he would lovingly call you "bird food" as if it were a pet name which left Soonyoung and his partner hella confused lmaoooo.
🪱 Mingyu: (Song Note: Nelly will always be that girly for me <3)
One of MIngyu favorite errands to run with you was going grocery shopping. Just spending time with you while planning meals to eat with each other or grabbing snacks with his favorite snack just fueled him with so much happiness. You loved it too because when you were with him, you could turn your brain off and just be yourself. That's why Mingyu wasn't too surprised when you looked at gummy worms and deadpanned asked him, "Baby, if I was a worm would you still love me?" You couldn't see the loving smile he had on his face before he wrapped his arms around you from behind. "Of course, baby. You would be the prettiest and nicest worm to exist."
🪱 Minghao: (Song Note: ngl this might be a future song reaction thingy for my ot13 series I do.)
When you asked Minghao if he would "still love you if you were a worm" he would giggle at your question because duh. He's in this for life baby. He would tell you he would find the BESTEST dirt for you live in and would fight any birds that would try to eat you. It would honestly be just a giggle fest between the both of you.
🪱 Seungkwan: (Song Note: CLC deserved better.)
Seungkwan and you were staying in for the night and were both just hanging out while mindlessly scrolling on your phones. You then crossed a meme that reminded you of the "would you still love me if I was a worm" question. You decided now was the perfect time to make your lovable stud muffin to answer your question. Once you asked him he gave you a stank judgemental side eye before *respectfully* ignoring you. You kept scooting closer and asking him before he couldn't help but laugh and just saying "yes."
🪱 Vernon: (Song Note: When the remix is better than the original... Red Velvet wins always.)
To be real, Hansol was READY for this question. He had seen it on his fyp and knew it was only a matter of time before you would waddle over and ask him if you would still love him if you were a worm. He would be doing whatever Hansol does and just say "yes, I would love you if you were a worm." and also "yes I promise." He would find it very funny when you were pleased by his answer.
🪱 Dino: (Song Note: this song has no business being as much of a bop as it is.)
Chan could go two different ways lmao. He would either laugh at the question before saying "of course I would, but would you love ME?" Or, he would overthink it. Were you an Earthworm? A gummy worm? A pinworm that would be a pain in the ass? He just had to know. Soon you both would be ranking worms and would forget about the question hahaha.
btw just wanted yall to know how committed to writing Chan's part I was:
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I forgot what they were called LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Anyways, which one was your favorite? Mine personally was Seokmin's. I feel like I've been writing so many sad things for him lately so it's been nice to write something super cute like that. <3
Hope yall enjoyed <3 if yall were worms, I would love you all :)
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sunnysam-my · 3 months
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It's ironic almost that Viv shoves "rep" into her shows and went out of her way to include a deaf child at an adult sex circus show for said "rep" but like. Fuck people with visual disabilities right? Because neither of those shows have considered how people with colorblindness or even mild visual impairment might not be able to even WATCH the shows with how bad their colour balancing is.
Viv has completely ignored that having unique designs and color palettes for your world and characters is not only basic design for cartoons but also how you maybe your show accessible to those who struggle visually
Funny you ask me that, I actually already made a post about that signing scene and distracting captioner's notes, because I have a hearing disorder and wanted to add my two cents.
I can't get over the fact the it wasn't a teenager around the age Fizz was when he went to that show with Blitzø. I genuinely can't think why they decided to have a young child be the fan other than it being more wholesome because it was a child.
Think for a second about why this scene there. Fizz was spiraling, consumed by thoughs of not being enough and being a "fake, sellout jester". He himself was a disabled teenager who wanted to be the greatest clown of his times. He ended up as a fake, sellout jester, just like Blitz said. But he saw himself in that kid. He saw for who really he wanted to perform. I don't think it would be as impactful to him if it was regular imp, but this would make infinitely more sense, on so many levels, if this was a teenager. But no, we gotta have a freaking child, because it's just way more cuter that way, right? I genuinely don't understand what other possible reasons for why this was a child, and not a teenager, could be.
I'm also still not over the fucking captions. I had problems with following what was happening in S02E06 of Helluva Boss, because of weirdly described sounds and big chunks of captioner's notes and jokes. That's unacceptable.
The irony of literally being an asshole to deaf/HoH people by purposeful fucking up the caption, the thing we rely on to be able watch a show, only to "give" a representation to said group next episode is almost funny.
But going back to the visuals, yes, it's so hard to watch. HB is better than Hazbin, but both aren't great if you have any sort of vision disorder, and this is coming from someone who just have the regular stuff, shortsightedness, astigmatism etc. The legally blind and colourblind folks must have it hard. HH is a joke when it comes to any sort of contrast. Even if they decided to stick to red(-ish) colours, there's still so much shades to work with. It isn't a impossible to make monochromatic art. In fact it's actually a popular training tool for young artists to learn how to do it even when you have more colours.
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Here's some examples of monochromatic and mostly monochromatic art done right.
Now compare one of them with a screenshots from HH, both without saturation (black and white).
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Hazbin Hotel isn't even monochromatic and fails miserably at any contrast. So no, it isn't just the problem of lack of hue (colour) differentces, it overall just failed at colour and contrast balancing, especially in the hotel, and there's no defending HH on this, because you have three sliders god damnit!
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evenmoreofadisaster · 2 months
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Hi hello 🙌✨ I had a question about Two that I think hasn't been asked before..
I was curious...what kind of thing(s) does Two find humorous? Like, what makes Two genuinely laugh? Any inside jokes with One?
I have the same question about One, but I thought I'd separate them. Unless it's easier to answer all in one fell swoop, of course.
Hello ace! Wonderful question
Two laughs at his own wit. Once he's able to be a kid / himself he'd think he's the funniest thing on earth. He doesn't think One is funny. The only other person who can make him laugh is April but when Two laughs its usually as a response to something else like when he's playing a video game or if he’s nerding out about something and is genuinely excited, which would be more after s2.
He does like to make people laugh which is weird for him. Not in a way that rise Leo does where he's the clown but just in the way that he finds it like a puzzle. If he can't connect with people maybe he can get an in by being funny, and bc he's smart he’s inherently got a leg up in being witty.
Two likes to make splinter laugh its the highest achievement he can get. And Draxum gets kind of taken aback when he sees how much more Two laughs and jokes around. But he usually dials it back when Draxum’s around until he slowly unlearns being stoic in front of him, which he gears towards by the time he's an adult. Then he gets more mouthy with Draxum who enjoys bantering with Two because he can actually keep up and match his intellect. One can too but Two can do it in a different way. One will disrespect him (affectionate) in a snarky way and Two will do it in a smart way, both showing off what he always knew were their respective strengths: being clever and being intelligent
The twins do have inside jokes. After they recover, Mikey and Raph will get to see how weird One and Two actually are now that there's no pressure on them. Once the twins are actually in harmony with each other they can really bring back the few times they were happy together. One gets a kick out of other people's misfortune/bad luck-- mostly his brothers'. Usagi also makes him laugh. One doesn't joke or fool around as much as rise Leo because he was trained to take things seriously but he'll slowly start to ease up and learn to have fun and laugh with his brothers. Once things are better with Two, One will dedicate the rest of his life trying to make him laugh.
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stillfrownyclownlol · 3 months
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@moonbiine got me with the Aiden bug
I thought a lot about how to start this and none of them were good so, here's this;
Frowny's Thesis on Aiden Clark having Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) based on the DSM-5 criteria, living with people with BPD (hi dad!), being...me!, and general vibes.
What is BPD?
Borderline Personality Disorder is defined by a prolonged disturbance of function marked by depth and variability of mood, pattern of unstable personal relationships, unstable self-image, marked impulsivity, and other symptoms. They can manifest in very different ways (the way it appears between my dad and my grandma for example is not the same), but generally includes this.
1. Fear of Abandonment
Nobody wants to be left behind, that's a given, but for people with BPD this fear can spiral into a paranoid phobia that impacts all their personal relationships. Because BPD is influenced by environmental factors, this often stems from children being abandoned in their youth (ex. My father was the child of a teen pregnancy and his parents couldn't care for him for the first few years of his life, letting him be raised by his grandparents. I also grew up alternatively without my mom and withouty my dad, and once for a time with neither of them)
It's been shown to us before that Aiden's parents are often absent from the house, for even months at a time. He seems very used to this and it's likely he grew up very isolated or passed around between different relatives. And I do think this shows in his attachment style; he is a very clingy and sort of "decides" to hyperfixate on a certain person (Ash *coughs*) in the hopes that they'll become friends, and he does this very quickly. Already so scared of losing Ash on that roof even tho he's only known her for like 3 months at this point. He really can't bear the thought of her not being with him.
On the subject of Ash he's idolized her sooooo bad she's so screwed. Pls the Angelic lighting filter he puts on her?? SHE CANT SAVE YOU AIDEN. YOU HAVE TO DO IT YOURSELF. (But i get it its hard) Ties back into how people with BPD see the world in strict black and white, he can't see Ash's flaws and that's how he defends her so much, she's literally like a savior to him and here comes the disciple complex.
He's been forced to move so many times, he's probably made friends who just couldn't keep up the effort of maintaining a long distance friendship and ghosted him, or even him doing the opposite, pushing people away just to avoid the sting of abandonment again. They can't hurt you if you hurt them first.
2. Unstable self-image.
He bleaches his hair end of story /j
No but really, tell me Aiden doesn't put up a persona- he's gone through the phases from quiet gifted kid to an impulsive extroverted mischievous mess. Don't you just look at him and feel the self-hatred coming off in waves?? Dyeing his hair, getting contacts, the ever present grin that must be painful at this point, it's like he can't...look at himself. Like he doesn't want to look at himself.
He can't even face his own problems; he literally paints a clown face on himself after dying cuz he doesn't want to process his feelings about it lol 🫠
Like genuinely, how exactly does Aiden want to be perceived? What is the point of this facade? For himself? For other people? I think he's just trying to shut away his past and start fresh without having to confront it, but...when the root is rotten, nothing healthy can grow, so he needs to get to the source of his issues.
3. Anger regulation problems
Unpopular opinion probably but he seems so angry to me. It's definitely WAY more present in the early chapters like when he goes tf off on Tyler, he was barely controlling himself there asdfghjkl- but I think it manifests more in him attacking the phantoms, it's obviously an adrenaline thing for him but I think he's taking out a lot of anger at the same time too. Even if some of this anger is coming from a righteous place; the desire to protect his loved ones (which ties into the abandonment too, you are still abandoned even when it wasn't their choice), because peope with BPD see the world as smth very...dangerous, I guess is the word? Even if maybe that doesn't apply to themselves
(Fastpass spoilers)
He's also not above taking his anger out on humans either considering he was about to take Alex's eyes out with that paintbrush and was gonna choke the life outta them-
(Done.)
4. Consistent feelings of sadness/worthlessness.
5. Self-injury, suicidal behaviour, suicidal ideation.
Aiden do be a sadboi even with all the smiley faces on his clothes. I think this is probably smth that was way worse when he was younger that led to that depression where he was locked in his room eating junk food and disassociating, and while he's probably coping with it differently it's still smth he struggles with. I mean shiiiiiit, because of his impulsiveness he does kinda cause problems but God he feels SOOOO goddamn bad about it lahdlsj, he was so guilty about the Ash situation, he probably beat himself up so much about that-
Emotions are very extreme, it's 'similar' to bipolar disorder with manic and depressive episodes, except they happen at a much quicker scale (in the same day for ex.) which seems to me how Aiden only lets himself experience positive emotions even tho he's in a deeply stressful situation (even tho there's good parts too like his friends) because he just can't handle having to fully experience those negative emotions.
Check, check, check! Aiden has zero self preservation instincts, he throws himself off walls, gets up close and personal with phantoms that could easily kill him, actually didn't give a fuck about dying?? Actually ENJOYED IT? But didn't wanna do it again because his Favourite person was worried about him and the absolute high of that feeling completely beat out anything else?? Okay man, we get it, you're living for somebody else at this point-
People with BPD suffer from chronic feelings of emptiness and pain is the best kind of distraction for Aiden (cue: him slamming his forehead on the table because he's bored)
6. Impulsive behaviors (aka a bunch of shit which can be summed up as addictions)
Well, for starters, he's an absolute adrenaline junkie, because he feels so constantly empty Aiden wants something to make him feel alive. And adrenaline is the flawless, biological, factual answer to this. Ergo all his octane hobbies and impulsive behaviors. Ties back into his obsessiveness, which, don't get me wrong this doesn't make him a bad guy or anything, we all get a little obsessed with things sometimes, that's just things humans do- but when you have bpd, it's very...difficult to just STAY happy, like an addiction, when the high wears off, they're empty again.
Maybe a bit of a stretch, but considering all the Ramen packets in his room when he was younger I wouldn't be surprised if he had some sort of ED or binge eats (Same bestie.)
Also for sure a reckless driver I'm 99% sure he crashed all those go-karts he drived before.
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I don't really know where I'm going with this. It's hard to live with somebody who has BPD, it's hard to live with it yourself, it's hard to see other people go through it even when it's hurting yourself. I hate pushing people away, but you get so caught up in your own thoughts, and it just...happens...and when it's done...you really regret it, but it's too late...and you just wonder if things are better like this, being alone and not hurting anybody anymore, cuz they're certainly happy on their own
I don't think anybody who has bpd is automatically a bad person, they just have things harder than normal. People with BPD....they can be amazing artists, or good with animals, or really very kind. They have very big hearts, thats why they feel so deeply. And I think Aiden is a good person, because he has so much love to give, but has never been given an outlet to express that properly, but you can see him making great strides in learning how, with the help of his friends 🧡
Might edit this later when I get my thoughts more clear it's midnight here lol
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