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finally gonna read a romance novel by one of the authors someone recommended on here ages ago i'm so excited
#it's hard with some of the others bc like i GUESS they're series even though they're about different characters#i can't entirely tell if i should treat them as such but rn i'm not starting any more series until i finish a few (if i ever do sdkjfjks)#well hey the nanny diaries was one of them and i have one more shopaholic + a bonus story#and i finished the main lotr series so i just have the bonus stuff there#still have to decide about that check please zine bc 20 dollars seems like a lot for something small#but again i finished my reread of the main series so! we're getting somewhere with some of them
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What about a Platonic! BSD x Child! Reader is very smart, like almost Ranpo-level smart, but they don’t use their smarts and intellect for anything at all except for online video games, board games, etc., and they’re lazy and don’t go outside at all. Plus, the first time Reader and Dazai had a game of chess, Dazai literally lost two moves in, and Dazai was rethinking his entire life choices in that moment because how the fu-
(How Dazai and Reader’s game of chess went *REAL* link)
WHY DO I HEAR BOSS MUSIC?
platonic!bsd x child!smart!reader
A/N: I for an odd reason, love it when characters are humbled and seen inferior 😭 I love this request too! Here it is~
Everyone loves you.
I'm so jealous rn /j
Well as a kid it would be expected to be like that! Although, it was a little different as you were ... considered unique to other children around you. How so?
ULTRA DEDUCTION BABY.
No but for real. FUKUZAWA merely took you into the agency since you seemed to have had no parents by your side to take care of you. As such, he took on the responsibility himself. The agency takes care of you now! <3
Anyways, let's say you were basically rivalling RANPO in terms of deduction and overall smartness capabilities, as he now thinks you are a worthy opponent.
But even he himself lost to someone like DAZAI.
Yes. Of course it was true, the suicidal detective just seemed to be way too good. The so-called 'world's best detective' had lost to a man, in which who, flirts with women 24/7 and asks for double suicide everywhere he went.
But to say the day came when brunette's demise lurked around the corner ... because of a chess game.
The agency had nothing important going on in particular as the peace of Yokohama was maintained in the meantime. Simply put, you guys were on vacation. So what else to do other than some old family bonding?
There were lots of activities planned that day, and everyone had enjoyed it to the fullest. You did also find it fun, but ... of course, for someone your age – you were mature as fuck.
And so, you did what everyone wouldn't have the balls to do.
Challenge DAZAI OSAMU himself to a chess match.
So obviously, everyone got a bit nervous. Pretty sure you had no idea how smart the suicidal maniac was, nor did they ever believe you would last a good 'ol round even once. By some experience of a certain detective – there is absolutely no one better than DAZAI himself.
The chess game went on. You looked so cute and innocent! Maybe he should go easy on you?? After all, you're just a kid.
And yet ... he was downright horrified.
In a matter of four turns in, the death-craving young man was absolutely OBLITERATED by you. Upon the match ending, a pin drop silence was heard. Eyes widened in shock, whom even RANPO himself never imagined such. Everyone never spoke, not even coughed for a solid 5 minutes.
But it was true. You DID defeat him. FUKUZAWA had the face of a very proud parent – he really didn't think you'd emerge victory in this small innocent match.
The president promised to treat you out next time a successful mission was in tow. Of course, DAZAI couldn't believe he had lost to you! A little child!
It would definitely take a lot of time for him to wrap his head around that – but once he does, oh boy.
I think you a little crazy there uncle ahaha
He almost literally brags about your existence everyday to anyone. You can't tell me he hasn't literally shoved in and mocked in front of people's faces with that shit eating grin of his oh my fucking God 😭
Then again, no one is safe. An even better gifted than the two greatest treasures of the Armed Detective Agency.
FYODOR better be shaking in his fugly ass boots.
You're coming for him alright. (and so am I)
Honestly, the ADA cannot be anymore proud to have an ally like you by their side. Missions and war would cease to exist from how well you managed to help them. And even moreso, combined with RANPO himself.
World destruction who?? I only know (Y/N) (L/N) 😍
Your existence is known, everyone knows about what you've done and how respected you are despite your young age.
Who tf let the Port Mafia fuck ya'll up?? Oh nevermind they were destroyed because of ur amazing little ass. The Hunting Dogs tryna tear apart the ADA which was mistaken as terrorists? Umh chill anyways so you already had a plan– RANPO doesn't know what to do for once? You're already there to help. Decay of the Angels? Lives up to their name, they're decaying under your superior brain and intellect.
You're just found to be the lifeline of the agency. In return, everyone treats you very well (spoils you even), making sure you lived your days as a child to the best extreme possible.
And to be frank – no one dare underestimate you anymore.
#bsd x reader#bungou stray dogs#platonic bsd#armed detective agency#ada x reader#bsd#decay of angels#port mafia#ranpo edogawa#dazai osamu
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dude my billy brainrot is so bad rn!
anyways, ok so the band and muse go to a party, and this time billy is in a good mood and is obsessed with her. hes being really clingy and is just so in love with her. but then eddie starts flirting with her and says "you could do so much better than him". billy finds out and him and eddie almost get in a fist fight. but after eddie and billy almost fight billy goes to his muse and is all like "im sorry baby, i couldnt handle what he was saying, i really hope you know that i love you" and they fuck. but then the next day he is avoiding her a bunch and getting touchy with the other groupies and she is like "should i have listened to eddie?" i feel like this would happen earlier in their relationship before muse knows the cycle her and billy always go through
-🦋
billy dunne is literally my life
you're basically wrapped around billy the entire night, you both do a line off of each other, share drinks, it's like he's in a haze of just being entranced by you. he cannot stop kissing you, his arms wrapped securely around you, you're basically on his lap all night.
"I'm gonna write you a whole album, baby." and the feeling of his voice so near your neck makes you giggle which just makes him smile, "what?"
you shake your head smiling, "nothing." he keeps looking at you expectantly which makes you laugh again, "nothing! billy, I just-"
"you don't believe me? oh, that's what this is, you don't think I'm telling the truth!" somehow he's holding you tighter, his smile, the way he jokes makes your head fuzzy, well so does the drinks, but he does a number on you. the way he laughs, smiles, it's addictive.
"no, no, no, I do, I swear, scout's honor!"
"I think that only applies to actual boy scouts, baby."
"shut up" you kiss him and his lips make you dizzy, just as yours make him. when you finally pull apart he's just holding your face for a while.
"god, you're stunning, do I tell you that a lot? because you're so pretty. can I do another line off of you?"
you just rasp out a, "yes" and you've forgotten how public you are really at a party when you let him adjust you enough to do a line of your cleavage.
"let me go get us another drink, baby, I'll be right back."
"okay." you're smiling, adjusting your shirt as he squeezes your hand before he's off. no sooner is he gone then eddie is appearing
"he's only being that way for now, you know" he's drunk, you know he is to be so openly digging at billy like that.
"eddie-"
"two weeks ago he was doing lines off of some other chick's rack-"
"he didn't mean that eddie."
"he didn't mean what he did?"
"he fucked up, it was a mistake, eddie, it doesn't change anything."
"you don't deserve that." eddie is leaning closer over the couch rest, "you deserve better than him, the first guy you saw at the concert."
you stare back at him for a while, "eddie, if you think you could treat me so much better, you'd let me enjoy my night. which I was."
"one night is all he'll give you before he decides you're not that special anymore-"
"what the hell are you talking about, man?" billy is making his reappearance and you know eddie must be even more drunk when you thought when he doesn't even really try to cover.
"use your imagination." and eddie's words have barely escaped his mouth when billy's punched him in the face. eddie stumbles back for a second, but punches billy back and you've leapt up to get between them. and eddie's looking at you, shaking his head like he's done, and walking out. "whatever, man"
"eddie!" you're shouting, but he's gone, and you have other things to worry about. "billy, oh my god are you okay?"
"I'm fine, god, we need to find a new fucking bassist"
"don't do that, gimme your hand." you're looking at his knuckles and he's entranced by the way your brows furrow. "you can't just punch someone everytime they bruise your ego." his hand is suddenly moving to tilt your chin up, where he's smiling in disbelief.
"baby, that's not why I punched him." you're unamused by this. "I'm serious! baby, I did it because he was talking about you. acting like I didn't care about my girl. the girl I love."
"you love me?"
he looks dumbfounded by the question, "I just write all my songs about you, you basically live with me, I need you like air, so yeah, I do."
"that's good because I am so in love with you."
"this would be pretty awkward if you didn't." and next thing you know he's got you back at the house, laying on his bed as he proves it to you, it's really not fucking, it's raw, it's love making, and he makes you feel so appreciated.
that's until you wake up, and he pulls himself away just when you try to put an arm on him when you've woken up. he gets up, showers without a word, gets dressed, only says morning back when you say it, and walks out of the room. suddenly you feel like a one night stand, someone he never wants to see again, and there's a pit in your stomach. he knows it's because saying love has scared him, but he can't communicate that, he's just got to be destructive.
breakfast is him laying out instructions for everyone, moving away every time you try to get close, at some point you try to take a drag off his cigarette and he looks unbelievably annoyed which just shuts you down. and the ride to the studio is unbearably quiet, it makes you want to cry the way he doesn't acknowledge you.
it's gets worse at the studio when he doesn't acknowledge you at all and during a break is talking to the groupies, laughing, doing lines, having a drink, hands on them, and you do a line to deal with it before sitting back in the emoti studio so you don't have to deal with it. it's so fucking confusing. you're laying on the studio carpet when eddie walks in, looks at you, and lays down too.
you feel the energy of 'i told you so' radiating off of him, "eddie-"
"are you okay?"
there's a beat, "he told me loved me last night." another beat, "is this what it feels like to be loved?"
and he's rolling onto his side to look at you, "no."
you wish you didn't start crying, "then what did I do wrong since then? why is he doing this to me, I don't know why I'm not good enough."
"you are, he's too fucking stupid to notice what he's got right if front of him." and he's lighting a cigarette, handing it to you, "let's go to the record store, find something to listen to later. we can use my record player, you know it sounds better on mine."
and you do exactly that and wonder if maybe this is what it feels like to be loved, but it doesn't take away the desire your soul has for billy dunne. even if it makes you think that eddie could love you better.
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4 Minutes Theory:
What Dr. Den Doesn't Know
Hello. It is I again.
You know the procedure: It's under the cut.
Let's go.
Is It Dream Theory???
I think I could've started by explaining the things that made me consider the theory that I propose today BUT, I think it's only fair to address the elephant in the room first:
Are the events of 4 Minutes dream theory?
Look: maybe I'm wrong and I just fucking hate dream theory bc it's so overused, unoriginal and pointless but I wanna (and I do) believe it's not what's going on. Well... Not exactly.
Let's take it apart.
My favourite guy over here ^ (look at him, he's beautiful and he's precious and I love him, I wanna keep him inside my house and feed him treats, 'cause he's such a good boy), Dr. Den, is, and we know this since the beginning, conducting a study on what happens to people's brains when they go into cardiac arrest.
More especifically, he wants to know what happens to the brain within the 4 minutes during which it is still alive and without oxygen (before the person either dies or gets medical help).
For this, bc
(Yes, thank you, Pirates of the Caribbean) Dr. Den is collecting information through the people that have survived that experience. And, so far what we knew was: people have weird experiences when their brain doesn't have oxygen. Which, fair enough, that much was expected.
HOWEVER, this episode (or ep.5, for the people in the future. btw hi 👋) he get LORE through Dr. Den, my our favourite medical exposition guy. And here's what he says:
"Patients' perceptions vary based on their experiences. Some relive past experiences. Some have supernatural powers. Some go back to fix past mistakes. Some get a fresh start with those they love.
Patients' experiences feel real but they aren't entirely accurate. Patients can see memories, hear sounds or feel brief sensations of pain. Even if it is unrelated to what else is going on."
So this might seem pretty revealing and easy to understand: what we've seen so far was going on in Great's brain. This is his dream and it's what his brain is making up to keep him going during the 4 minutes where it nervously waits for someone to rescue it from impending doom.
And yes, I'm not crazy enough to say that's wrong but... Every situation has at least 3 versions of it, we say in Portuguese: mine, yours and the others'. And what I believe we need to see here is that:
What we know is merely what people remember when they wake up and what the medical staff can tell is happening to the body whose brain is 4 minutes without oxygen. It is NOT the whole truth. Not even close.
What Is It Then?
See, I could try and show the evidence first and then make a conclusion but I wanna hit you with a banger theory right away so Imma say it rn:
People's dreams when their brains have no oxygen in them are gateways that generate alternative realities.
And I hear you say: "okay but that's last week's theory, that's not new" and yes, you're correct HOWEVER, under the light of episode 5's events I feel like I need to prove this again. So let's hit it, Fergie!
1 - Dr. Den Recognizes He Has No Idea What the Time Travel Thing Is
Now, I know this might just mean Den recognizes he can't explain why it seems many people seem to experience this exact phenomenon of the 4 minutes time travel (which by itself is weird and opens up room for debate on what it means, even on a purely medical level) but I believe it can be used as evidence that something else is going on. That whatever that time travel means it goes being current human medicine, you know?
Even if not, it does prove my earlier point that what we're seing is only a fraction of the truth, that there is more to uncover. And a clear indication of the series (although it might be subtle to many) that we should be looking beyond on what lies on the surface and what Den is telling us.
2 - We're Being Shown Events in the Timeline Where Great Has Powers that Great Couldn't Possibly Know Because He Wasn't There
This is one of the strongest evidence points for me. Because explain to me how and why this man knows what Tyme told his grandma this episode.
Or how he knows conversations that happened between Dome and the medical staff?
Sure, Ig you can argue that maybe his brain imagines that's what happens, especially in Tyme's case since, I suppose it would be a nice thing to keep going for to think that your lover is rushing your way but... He barely knows Dome outside of being his classmate so that rule doesn't apply there. The events of Dome's life are, matter of fact, nearly irrelevant to Great's life (outside of the way in which they change Tonkla and Korn's relationship and, therefore, Korn's actions - which is why he was so hurt this episode to be demanded to let Tonkla go, since Tonkla's brother never dies and so he never met Win, thus they never broke up).
And what does anyone even have to say about what we're shown about Dr. Den's research? How does Great know that? Is he making it up? Does he know this in the original universe? How? He doesn't have the powers in the original universe, does he? Did Tyme tell him? Just casually? Idk, it could be, but...
Based on a very good point @yakdee (great URL btw) made on this post about how different the circumstances, motives and depth of GreatTyme's relationship and how they seem to be way more distant than in the current timeline, I do believe it's farfetched to think that Tyme would give Great any free info on his life and that of people around him. Much less on something so specific and seemingly uninteresting to Tyme (how can he, that topic is fascinating) as Den's research. I don't think it would even come to his mind. Matter of fact, I think it's only more prevalent to him in the current timeline bc of what Great told him. Otherwise, he couldn't care less.
Plus, if we think about it more closely... How many lives is Great's brain processing at once, then?? Isn't that kind of a lot?? Doesn't it make more sense for this to be an entirely different timeline where this things ARE happening??
PS: I know I could've also used Korn's dialogues as evidence but since he's the bridge between Great and Tonkla, I think it's hard to use his scenes as evidence for anything bc they could be happening in either Past 1 (the bad past with a bit of an oddity) or Past 2 (the past where Great time travels) [if you want to understand more of why I refer to these timelines this way, pls check out my previous theory]. I don't tink they change much regardless, Korn seems to be the person whose life is the least affected by the changes, out of all the main characters, but... Regardless, I don't think it's good practice to build over a shaky foundation so I have not.
3 - Great Can't Fix His Mother's Death
Now tell me why
(Ain't nothing but a heartache and a mistake, indeed, my friends) But that wasn't where I was going...
What I meant was: if your brain is making up a better reality where you can fix everything you did wrong, then why the fuck would it choose for your mother to die anyway??? Why, out of all things, was the only thing you could never fix your mom dying??
And sure, I know, I know, people will make the argument that it's the trauma and, like, yeah, Ig if you wanna believe that, that must've been that man's most traumatic moment, sure, I agree. But is that enough? The answer, I think, is: we don't know. Maybe, maybe not...
So... You can believe whatever, so far, I suppose, but the fact is that it leaves it open to interpretation why the events are so. Which means, it can be speculated that, the actual reason behind she dying again is because, for the 1st time since we've started to see Great's trajactory with his powers, he made the wrong choices.
And this is not me saying he's dumb, by the way, like... It's easy to ask for help for someone who's dying. It's only midly hard to land a punch on an murderer, even when he's your best friend. And it's certainly not unthinkable to open up to your crush, even when what you have to reveal is that you're a little bit crazy.
But I think it's extremely hard to stop a man with a gun. Even when your mom's life is on the line.
In a way, maybe, there is no timeline where Great can change that moment when it comes. Maybe timelines where he can avoid that moment from happening in the first place, yeah... But none in which he can avoid it if it's already there. (remember what I said about Greek Tragidies last week? yeah... it's coming up nicely)
And maybe this is not evidence for some people, which I respect, but to me, narrative intent and logic can be used to make a point. And I think making certain tragidies repeat themselves is part of what the narrative of 4 minutes is about too.
I know last time I talked about the power of people's actions and butterfly effect but that is only part of reality. A lot is under our control but a lot also isn't. And I think it's fair to assume, if the 1st part of this series was about the power, the 2nd will be about the impotence (which is not the sexual kind but I think the amount of sex we've seen in the 1st part is definitely a narrative tool and the fact this was the 1st episode without any sex scene [the flashbacks obviously don't count] is also being one).
Thus, my theory makes narrative sense.
4 - Tonkla's Weird Experiences Exist Outside of Great's Knowledge AND the Timeline He's In
Okay, I get it. It is possible to find alternative explanations to what I'm interpreting here and maybe that makes you doubt me. Fair. But then explain to me what the actual fuck is happening to Tonkla. Pls.
How is that man hearing his dead brother's voice? Seeing his dead cat walk around??
What does that mean? How can we be seing that if it's just all in Great's head??
I explained in my earlier theory (please check it out) that we're being given direct access to 3 different timelines: the one where Great is in the ER (pre-opening scenes), the one where Great has superpowers (Great-related scenes) and the one where Tonkla hears his brother and sees the cat (Tonkla-related scenes).
Based on that I can't possibly assume Great in the ER who's creating the timeline of Great with superpowers knows what's going on in the Tonkla timeline. He just can't. How would he even? He has no idea (as far as we know) who Tonkla is, that Dome is his brother, that bro had a cat that got killed by his father and that he buried it in Uni grounds... So we can't place that, no matter what, as just another figment of Great's imagination. Those events have to be real.
And if those events, which seem to be caused by Great's interference with the space-time continuum, are real, then that means, no doubts, that the Great Has Powers timeline also has to be.
So What Does It Mean??
Good question, Miley.
Luckily I have a beautifully tragic answer for you:
It means that when/if Great wakes up from the ER in his timeline nothing will have changed. The events of his life will be exactly the same and life will go on with the consequences of the choices he made the first time. Just like they are for Lukwa who woke up exactly in the same universe as she lost consciousness.
HOWEVER, while for that Great things will be as shitty as they were when he left, it also means that, far away from him, just like there must be another Timeline for Lukwa, there is a different timeline, with a Great who made different choices and, therefore, got a different end.
How different? I don't know. We're yet to see. But I think when we know, we'll be able to compare the two or three (maybe even more, we'll see now that the Great with Powers is also without oxygen in his brain) timelines we're being shown and take our own conclusions about the weight of our actions and the meaning of mistakes.
Final Thoughts
I think this series is doing a great job of making us question a lot of things like what is reality, how time works, what is the real weight of a choice, what is a choice, etc... And I can't wait to see where it leads us. I'm really hyped to understand this narrative.
As usual, if you guys wanna comment or add anything or ask anything or whatever it is, please do! Let's give soul to this fandom and interact with each other, yeah?
In the meantime...
All the love! 💜💜💜
#4minutes#4minutes the series#4 minutes#4 minutes the series#4 minutes theory#4minutes theory#4 minutes ep 5#4minutes ep 5#4minutes ep5#4 minutes ep5
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last one for now!! thank you so so much for answering my questions, this has been so fun. (also, my phone randomly started updating in the middle of me typing this out so if, for some reason, you have an unfinished version of this in your inbox, my bad.)
chapters 26-27 🎉
1. dipper thinking about mabel using the memory gun on him to make him forget bill,,, hm. even if they DID do that, that might honestly make things worse? like, dipper would then be bound to deals that he no longer remembers making or what the terms of them are. i also don't know if a child's mind would recover as well to use of the memory gun.
2. dipper feeling like bill is the only one who doesn't have an idealized version of him is his head... i'm not sure i agree! bill's placed him on a very high pedestal with a very high fall should he get knocked off it... and dipper saying that bill encouraged him to be himself and TAUGHT him how to do that because he's never been able to do that before,,, i'm chewing on glass rn.
3. the entire phone call section,,, stan immediately saying he would keep the twins with him and their parents wanting split custody (a fake out to get the other to back down? did they spend the whole time arguing over who got mabel? neither of them wanting to take dipper...). "they can come up here and tell them themselves" yes please! dipper had his moment with mabel, now he deserves to yell at his parents (as a treat). "hey guys! thanks for coming all the way here 💞💞💞 loved seeing you but i can't wait to never see you again! you don't need to miss my choir recitals anymore because my choir no longer exists! you can go back to just being mabel's parents while i go rule with world with my best friend, the interdimensional demon who's bringing about a new age on earth, you might know him. see you never!"
4. it's such a small thing but ford bending down to talk to dipper so they're on the same page!! he cares so much about these kids and he just met them 😭 him taking the time to reassure dipper that they're family and that he seems himself in dipper!!! him smiling when dipper agrees with stan that he's like ford (though not in the way he expects). that must've been another painful moment for stan!
5. does mabel realize how big of a deal it is that dipper can speak to bill during the day/without being asleep?
6. dipper not seeinging weirdmageddon as the apocalypse because the apocalypse has negative connotation!! weirdmageddon is GOOD to him so it's the bringing about of a new age!
7. dipper's mental form changing to look more like bill's human form instead of pre-gravity falls dipper,,, after he has recognizes how much he's changed,,, right after being compared to ford,,,
8. ford must feel so stupid for showing dipper the rift! i'm assuming dipper didn't just smack the rift out of his hands because bill wants ford on his side willingly? not sure you're going to get that, bill...
9. dipper still caring about stan enough to remind gideon of their deal! and being upset when bud threatens stan! the ghost of dipper-past is haunting dipper's mental house (it's empathy and compassion for people other than bill).
10. dipper letting bill takeover the reins because he's so drained from being involved with the pines,,, him still hoping that someone it's not him and no one noticing,,, NO ONE NOTICING (i'm ripping my hair out)
11. dipper watching the billford reunion,,, guys stop being messy, toxic exs in front of a 12 yo!
12. dipper hiding in the grass/wheat... is the distinction important? both represent different things (wheat as salvation and resurrection while grass can be protection and concealment...). are they a mental representation of the ways ford has tried to protect himself or move on from bill?
13. an eternal night!! stars staying the same even during weirdmageddon!! everyone always being able to see the stars!! is that almost like,, a gift? since they both value the stars so much, and bill wanted to bring the stars to his people, is that almost more of a "benevolent overlord" thing from bill? or really just gifts to themselves?
14. how different that conversation would've gone if dipper hadn't mentioned ford!
15. mabel realizing that he's just been around because he's manipulating ford while ford didn't notice,,, is he that desperate for human connection that he doesn't notice dipper manipulating him? or is dipper just that good at acting?
16. dipper telling mabel it's deals PLURAL. i wonder if she had realized that before, if that's a big thing for her, or if she didn't even notice.
17. "he takes my feelings seriously, unlike you," and "you've only ever dismissed me, mabel" but him still missing her and wanting to be close to her,,, him saying that he doesn't want to only be close with bill but she's giving him no choice,,, i am staring into the sun.
18. dipper comparing mabel to their mom! is that because he sees both of them as "checking out" of their relationship with him? and then mabel immediately saying she doesn't want to think about home and that they don't even know what they're going home to 😭 gravity falls feeling more like home than piedmont has in years 😭😭😭
19. i'm assuming bill saying "pine tree" was him trying to warn him that bill was in earshot? i'm kind of surprised that bill didn't take over during the fight to try to separate them before they could reveal dipper and bill's friendship to ford.
20. did ford hear dipper ask bill to take over and that he didn't want to be there?
21. "i know it's me you want!" well...
22. does anyone hear ford shouting at dipper? that would probably be hard to explain to the tourists lol
24. mabel always being the one to start weirdmageddon... fate again? or maybe something more like a fixed point or "canon event" like in spider verse?
25. did dipper stop wearing his bill jewelry once ford showed up? he mentions starting to wear it consistently, but not that he's stopped.
26. physical effects of using magic showing up soon,,, roadside attraction being the next episode,,, dipper being changed SO significantly,,, can he even pass through the barrier anymore? i'm imagining him in the rv and just SLAMMING into the barrier at 60 mph not going well. but it would reveal that as a problem to bill before weirdmageddon begins...
27. dipper learning to take pain rather than bill flipping the switch,,, is that because bill wants to it be authentic or because he knows flipping that switch would be too noticeable?
thank you thank you thank you sm!!! again, i'm sure i'll be back with more, but that's just from my first read through in a while!
Oh yeah I've been spending all my spare time replying?? Truly I could yap about my own series for days, this has legitimately been so so enjoyable for me!!
1. Yeahhhh, it would not go well, especially with how much more impressionable young minds are. Dipper would have no clue who Bill was, but still have a pact bond with him, still have him able to possess him whenever he wanted... A dark AU to consider.
2. Dipper is sort of aware of this pedestal? But he's determined that he set himself there, not Bill. He has intentionally set himself up to be that way for Bill because of his whole "I can fix him" mentality. He wants Bill to think he can fix him, too (and he kinda does?). But who he is on that pedestal, as far as he's concerned, is still himself.
3. The nature of the custody argument is yet to be revealed... But hooooo boy, can't wait to write that one! We stan Stan as a parent stand in for these kids; he's not perfect but he's better for these kids than their parents are!
4. For as much crap as Ford gets from the fandom, I love my boy! He really does care so much about them. They're just kids, they're twins, and to him, they start as a wholesome reminder of himself and Stan when they were that age. He's protective and caring! He also bends down to their level to talk to them multiple times in canon, and I love that for him! He also is someone I love to whump, so be prepared. :)
5. Not really? She knows his whole relationship with Bill and the way it's escalating is dangerous, but she's not aware of how all Bill works, exactly, so she doesn't know how significant that is.
6. Yes!! They're basically ringing in the New World Order (fitting to use an Illuminati term, no?)
7. :)
8. Pretty much, yeah. Bill still wants to be able to convince Ford to join him, and is hoping by cultivating a bond of trust between him and Dipper, he'll still be able to do that.
9. Yes! Dipper gets the chance to defend his family and show off how powerful he is, so he'll take it! Best of both worlds, really.
10. :)
11. They will ✨ not ✨
12. It is wheat! I'm impressed you picked up on that specific symbolism in it; in canon, it's wheat, but the symbolism is more in Dipper's perception that he's pretty sure it's wheat. Bill helped him be reborn, after all. :)
13. Sort of a gift to themselves. More on this to come. :)
14. One can only wonder...
15. Dipper is quite a good actor and it helps that he actually does like Ford. Mabel is definitely a bit smarter than Dipper gives her credit for, though, and more observant.
16. She won't notice until later. :)
17. :)
18. Yes! And his mom has always been emotionally manipulative,, as well, playing the victim and guilting Dipper into doing things for her. Dipper feels he's received the same from Mabel, though admittedly not maliciously. But yeah, Mabel doesn't even know about the divorce :)
19. Bill found it more important in the moment to preserve the idea that Mabel has no idea Dipper is being possessed, because he thought switching in the middle of the heated conversation might tip her off, and she might say something. Ford is a bit easier to deal with, and Bill doesn't need him, he just wants him. (But yes, it was a warning.)
20. Yes!
21. :)
22. Who's to say? :)
23. We'll see how things play out! Coming soon...
24. Oh, he did! But he'll be wearing it again now that the cat's out of the bag.
25. :)
26. A bit of both?? Switching a flip completely would be too noticeable and would have some negative side effects. He also wants Dipper to mirror him, and he learned naturally, himself.
no problem!! Thank you so much, really, this is sincerely so much fun!!!!
#gravity falls#gravity falls fandom#ao3 fanfic#gravity falls fanfiction#bill cipher#fanfic#dipper pines#bill cipher gravity falls#taketwogfau
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totally obsessed with king the land and i need to rant about it somewhere and i figured this would be a fun place because i love your takes and can i start off by saying i've haven't seen someone as down bad as gu won in a really long while. to think he realized his feelings because he took a quiz a few weeks back and look at where he is now, confessing his love on a rooftop to the woman he falls in love with more and more every second.
ep 10 was honestly one of the most fulfilling romantic escape episodes i've ever seen in a show, like the locations were stunning, the chemistry was chemistrying like crazy and god the way won looks at sarang? the way he smiles so wholeheartedly? it's like she helped him rediscover what happiness and love feels like.
one thing i really loved from the earlier eps is how won always gives in and tries new things with sarang and realizes how much he enjoys it. also, the way sarang's grandma is such an important figure to both sarang and won now makes me so happy. i love how won takes all of her advice to heart and actually works on his communication.
i also absolutely loved how this week's eps focused on them just being in love and enjoying their dating era, the quality time and the constant need to touch each other and express their affection is something so precious. can't wait to see what's in store for them in the weeks to come. 🥹
i cannot tell you how honored i am to be the recipient of this little love letter to KTL bc you!!!! you get it anon!!!! i'm going to be addressing some of your points but i should warn you that it will be all over the place so i hope that doesn't confuse you once you get around to reading this sksksksk
first off, i think Won automatically gravitates towards Sa Rang's halmeoni bc in some ways she is that mother figure for him. we still haven't been told exactly what happened to his mother btw, but considering the age gap between him and his half-sister Hwa Ran you would think that after eomma "disappeared" (using that term for now) Hwa Ran would have stepped in. their relationship is so, so f*cked up, however, that she's never actually treated him as her actual sibling (as seen by her dangling the pocketwatch his mother gave him out the window/breaking it by letting it go. he still carries it around, even after all of that.) and so there is no love lost between the two of them. she has always viewed him as a competitor, someone to be wary against in her struggle for their father's company, and even though Halmeoni acts as if he is also one (for Sa Rang's hand) the way they interact says differently. (there's so much to unpack about why that is, namely the way that Gu Il Hoon treats his children and the lessons he's instilled in them, but that's not the point rn and i don't have energy to write that essay today)
so when Hwa Ran tells him not to try anything in terms of the company bc he won't be able to do anything substantial anyway, he listens, bc that fear has been bred into him. he's learned early not to expect anything akin to affection from her, learned that the only reason he's allowed to come so close is bc she knows his weaknesses (ep 3 publicity interview/panic attack anyone?) and uses them to keep him on a leash so he doesn't get in her way and he's tired. he says as much when he tells her '나 싸우고 싶지 않았어' — 'i didn't want to fight' during their convo in the lounge in ep 8 (have some slightly unrelated commentary on that scene here, although in the more recent eps after meeting Sa Rang he has begun to buck against her incessant emotional abuse). but when Halmeoni tells him to do something, he listens, bc he knows, instinctively, that whatever she's telling him is not going to sabotage his relationship with Sa Rang. she's not out to get him, and she does not loathe his entire existence—she is treating him like the grandson she does not have, and she in turn is the mother that he has been deprived of for so long.
(frankly i think the best way to describe Hwa Ran and Won's dynamic with the influence of their father coming into play is uh. 'but business is business! / and business runs in the family' from Amanda Palmer's Runs In the Family. fair warning the video is a bit all over the place and the lyrics may be triggering but i highly recommend listening to the song if you haven't already)
building off of that, i think Sa Rang is also another outlet of love for him that is making up for what he has lacked. the way she and her circle of friends, much like her halmeoni, treat him when he is around (even after a bit of a false start in the first episodes) is in contrast to his sister as well—it's implied, albeit not explicitly, that he has the tendency to attach himself to people other than her once they show him any kind of care (standing up for Sang Sik taking him with him from the internship after Sang Sik tried to help him adjust in case he got in trouble, for instance). he trusts them even if he doesn't say it, since he does not trust her, and in some ways the kind of fear he has around Hwa Ran has been rechanneled into the need to keep his eyes on Sa Rang, bc he is afraid he might lose her. and he does not want to lose her, bc he has loved someone, for once, almost as much as he has loved his mother. and so once he realizes that that is what it is he tries to tell her as much, every chance that he gets, and we get to see that in the touches and glances and the small things that he does, an opening up to her as best he knows how. i spoke more about that here, but one of the best comparisons to their relationship that i can think of (other than Mitski's Come Into the Water and KK's Aankhon Mein Teri that i have already made a post about) is this line from Lee Hae Ri's gorgeous song Maybe that she sang for the OST of Her Private Life ('어쩌면 그게 사랑 일지도 몰라 / 반복되는 일상 / 그 속에 나를 보듬어 준 네가 / 조용히 떨리는 심장이 말해 / 너를 보고 싶다고 말하래' — 'maybe it [this feeling] is love / you who've cared for me in my repetitive everyday life / my quietly trembling heart tells me to say that i miss you'), bc that is just Won telling Sa Rang in the pool in the gloriousness that is ep 10 that he missed seeing her face in so many words and God. God them!!!!! laying face down on the ground and sobbing they're too much for me
despite all of this i know something has to give in the upcoming episodes, though, and while i am not asking for heavy angst (no devastating messy breakup arc i am on my knees begging at this point) i do hope we get to explore more of that kind of dynamic between Sa Rang and Won and get a cathartic moment for him while we're at it. (if you're not going to send him to therapy to address his childhood trauma [possible panic attack trigger i see you in the ep 11 preview] then let the man cry ffs) looking forward to whatever they do as much as you are, anon <333
#inbox#q: anon#tv: king the land#king the land#lee junho#junho 2pm#im yoona#girls generation yoona#yoona snsd#kim seon young#kdrama#local gay watches KTL (and gets diabetes in the process).txt#local gay watches k-dramas.txt#well this ended up much longer than i expected it would and i apologize for that but#this is such a welcome distraction after Tumblr literally upended my dash. truly the only way i am surviving#is XKit and muscle memory from when i used to go digging through Twitter without an account before Muskrat took over#fair warning the Lee Hae Ri translation is cobbled together from like six different sources and yes my poor Korean skills#native/advanced speakers pls feel free to roast i will edit sksksksk
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You deserve so much better, and I'm sorry people have treated you this way for any reason. It's especially ridiculous in the context of "differing opinions about the quality of a show/season finale/creative choices," but you absolutely should not have gotten any of these comments for any reason. I love reading your work and your thoughts, but I fully understand if you don't want to share any of that again. There are things I have never posted and likely never will, entire creations that I'm never going to share, due to this exact phenomenon. Online creations, from meta to fic to everything else, are a delight and a privilege, not a given that anyone's entitled to.
You deserve better, and you have the right to share as much or little as you want. Please do what's best for you.
Thank you. This is really kind, and I appreciate it.
Honestly... like, I keep trying to not make a big deal out of this, but it feels so shitty. I know that right now I'm flaring and that makes everything seem worse than it is, but I can't tell you how demoralizing it felt to be unable to eat anything for like 24 hours, then actively pushing my dislocated fingers back into joint and looking on my phone and seeing a paragraph about what a fucking idiot I am. I just wanted to straight-up cry. This is the first time I've ever turned off anon asks, and I've gotten some real doozies over the years.
At first I felt better when I realized it was fewer people than I thought who were angry with me, but I think it's finally sinking in that there were people who hated me so much that they sent me messages for months. I don't get it! Like... I don't think I'm a particularly awful person. Not perfect, to be sure, but I try to be as nice and patient as I can be online. What the heck is so bad about me that I inspire people to follow me around for months?
It feels bad, okay! I'll admit it, it feels bad. I know we're supposed to act like we're above getting our feelings hurt by trolls online, but all this feels weird and bad. I don't like it.
I know that I'm going to keep posting my thoughts again eventually; I think I'm probably physically incapable of shutting up. My thoughts just bounce around in there driving me nuts if I don't get them out. I keep telling myself that there's a significant amount of people who do like me and do like my work and don't feel the need to send me mean comments, I reiterate, for fucking months. Sometimes that does make me feel better, and so did this ask.
idk. I'm just feeling very tired rn. Sorry to be so whiny but I'm just. Really tired. I don't know. I wish I could keep food down. I'm sure that would help my mood. But there's a lot of things I wish, I guess, and all I can really do is curl up with this heating pad and watch people build houses or something.
(...I find watching things getting built to be very soothing. lmao)
Anyway, kind of sucks when your comfort show that you usually turn to when you're stressed is one of the sources of your stress! :')
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Still can't sleep (and I actually want to, but it just. Isn't happening yet) so I'm mulling over edizzy thoughts/fic ideas, but one in particular is sticking hard rn, like-
I sort of want to do a kind of. I don't know the right word for it right this minute, but essentially it breaks down just how close they were/are and how intertwined they are like
In a modern au it would be someone making them do what my old therapist said she sometimes had couples do when they came to her for couples therapy. Not necessarily the first thing, but sometimes among the first things, to help crack the shell open. Have them sit and list all the little things they know abt each other, and the things they find silly to remember abt the other or the endearing things/quirks/habits (that maybe have turned to fond or less fond irritation versus endearment even.) Just write it down, and take a minute or two to reflect on the trust and vulnerability required to learn some of those things abt another person, and remember why you let yourself be that trusting and vulnerable, and ask yourself if you still want/feel that sort of connection or not. One answer isn't better than the other, and it's couple dependent on which answer is the better one for them as unique individuals in a relationship unique to them.
In canon time period I'm not totally sure how I'd intro it, so that might wind up more of a 'izzy talking to jim and they wind up discussing these things he knows abt ed, meanwhile stede is doing the same thing with ed, later jim goes to stede like "dude holy shit those two HAVE to talk" and stede's just "yeah they do but i don't know what arts and crafts project to sit them down with so that they might open up enough to go over stuff. Please tell me you have craft ideas" and we end up with some eventual edizzy discussion/also maybe shared art project bc i do like the idea of that mirroring the s1 flag project' thing?
I just. Have so many little ideas for the things ed and izzy know abt each other.
Roach bemoans (in a fondly frustrated for Izzy way, not a because of Izzy way) giving Izzy massages to help him heal post gunshot wound and to just. relax for five fucking minutes. Ed's sat there in the galley snacking, thinking abt how he knows exactly which knots in Izzy's back are worst to work out, but he also knows exactly how to do that. But to tell Roach what to do for that would be an incredibly intimate and vulnerable thing both for him and Izzy and it feels warm and like home but it aches at the same time. When did he last do that for Izzy? He can't remember. He wishes he did.
Stede is fussing over trying to put together better lunches for Ed when he goes fishing with Fang (bc Roach is already making lunch for everyone else by then and has asked Stede to help out by making sure Ed's separate more easily transportable lunch is taken care of) and just. mildly losing his mind bc he can't keep sending jars of marmalade and little else (even if Ed ultimately doesn't mind that too much.) Izzy sits in the overstuffed chair in Ed and Stede's quarters and bites his tongue bc he has an entire fucking multi-course meals menu for Ed that he's memorised without even trying to over the years. But he'd feel like an ass just busting that out; Stede should have the chance to learn these things abt Ed as their relationship progresses. That was part of what made it special for Izzy and Ed, after all. They know each other's safe foods and favourite over expensive treats that they used to only have when they could steal them, and he can't shut off the flow of memories even when Stede asks him why he's tearing up during a discussion abt food.
There's so much. So many little niches. They know which parts of each other's bodies have the worst pains and aches and creaks, some from old poorly healed injuries, others from age and overuse and the way sailing and their work can be so incredibly physical some days. They know just as well how to make the other come undone underneath their hands and fingertips. Be mindful of Ed's knee and back, Izzy should take it slower when his neck and back ache (and now his leg and torso too.) If you kiss directly at the base of the back of Ed's neck while fucking him from behind, leaned over him with him on his hands and knees on the bed, he'll almost always wind up coming untouched. Holding Izzy's hands up over his head while riding him and gently teasing him to let go will at least 8 times out of 10 result in him being instantly undone and an adorably blushy mess abt it.
He could tell you exactly the sort of blankets and quilts Ed prefers between the warmer and colder months, down to designs and the sort of materials used to fill and cover them.
He knows exactly how Izzy likes his clothing to fit, even if he can't ever fucking convince Izzy to buy much of anything new, and he has fucking tried!!
On that note, they can recite each other's current measurements, blood type, allergies, phobias, and more without having to think abt it. it's as easy as breathing or being asked something abt themselves.
Only towards the end of the fic, both modern au and canon time period, do either of them pause and go
"...oh. what happened to us?" with fearful and confused tears in their eyes because it wasn't always like this. Maybe it could be more like it used to be, again. Maybe they can't entirely undo what was done to them or to each other, but they can love and care and look out for each other.
And this time, sitting sobbing and vulnerable they can let themselves admit they never stopped, the love was so interwoven in it all too that they stopped noticing it. They let it become background noise versus a pronounced and acknowledged sound special to them both (and to those who have or might share them, like Jack and Stede.) And that on its own isn't necessarily bad, being comfortable with each other and letting the love sit as it will isn't bad. But everything else going on, their own past unaddressed traumas, and the outside stresses of their lives and trying to survive turned it into something unhealthy and hurtful.
it hurts horribly to lay it all out like that. Feels like being flayed open while alive.
But the next few days after sees them able to talk again, really talk, like they used to. They can be close again and occupy that very particular space in each other's lives, while letting each other have more (ed has stede and in my mind for this fic izzy has at least three or more crew members that have been taking it slow but are absolutely down bad for him)
It's not exactly what they had before. It never will be, it can't be. And they both come to terms with that.
But it's better than what things had become, and they have time and space now to keep working on it.
#text post#long post#sorry this got stupid long and is basically weird mini fic but#they make my brain go !!!!!!!!! in so many ways and im still mad the show left things where they did with them#i should actually try to sleep now and. maybe. we'll see how it goes i guess
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re: abandoning idea that you're special
currently trying to deal w this bc it was all so mundane.
but the way i've been treated…like it hurts MORE if i accept that the reason ppl treated me that way is just bc they're boring and mean, and i was a convenient target.
it hurts MORE if there's nothing for me to change abt myself and try and learn that way. it hurts MORE if my pain therefore doesn't matter to anyone.
like my therapist keeps saying this shit is PROTECTIVE, it's not just punishing myself, it's protecting myself from a reality that hurts worse and makes me mean less.
it doesn't HAVE to, but it's not easy or simple and it doesn't make me feel better, and given everything else going on i'm sort of just too tired rn to fully come to grips w this.
i don't think i'm special in a positive or negative way, just unique in a stupid way.
it's also really hard to accept if i have never met a single person w the same experience as me that makes me feel the most pathetic.
like not identical but there are a few things where i'm like, okay even ppl who say they relate still had xyz and i didn't. not trying to nitpick or be special, but it makes me feel worse when someone in THEORY is like I Get It! and then they v much don't in a way that makes me look more pathetic
here i'll be specific:
d/von pr/ce also just posted abt this
there was a lesbian who msged them and said early 20s, haven't ever been kissed, on a date, no one has expressed interest, what should they do? what's going on? is it just bc they've missed the flirting bc they're autistic?
and the response was stop being self-obsessed and pay attn to other ppl then pursue ppl and ask for what you want, don't be passive in your own experience of attraction, etc.
and i can't speak for that person, but
why would i ever do that when i have spent my entire life being ridiculed for existing and other ppl have thought it was a JOKE when i found someone attractive
like
idk abt that person, but for me it is very much not me being a PASSIVE PERSON or NOT PAYING ATTENTION to what i like or find interesting abt others
i am not self-obsessed (in the Make People Like Me way) to the point that i don't pay attention at all
piloting in conversations AT ALL is VERY DIFFICULT, and that INCLUDES just trying to learn abt someone
i'm just tired and angry. nothing i do has a good outcome. with people.
and it's not--my passivity or obsession w Being Likable (which arguably i have deliberately failed at multiple times in my life) that made me lonely or confused.
it was the hatred and bigotry of other people
and these two forces are always at war in my head
"stop telling me everything wrong w me and my life is my fault. it's not. stop acting like me taking a ~simple~ action will fix it, it won't. i'm trying my best and right now i'm so tired i'm just conserving energy and trying to even mentally and emotionally think abt and process everything that i haven't bothered REALLY thinking abt before."
and then also
"there must be something fucking wrong w me for so many ppl to so casually and mundanely HATE me. i must be bad at conversations. at people. i must be annoying. i must be doing something wrong. if i could just figure out what."
and then the advice is always
unmask!
stop worrying abt that!
take an active interest in people!
as if being unmasked and trying to be interested in people hasn't been LITERALLY THE INCITING INCIDENT FOR SO MUCH OF MY, again, very boring and mundane abuse.
so no, reaching out and taking an interest in people and asking for what i want isn't going to go well. it's also a pandemic and I CANNOT LEAVE THE FUCKING HOUSE so my options are LIMITED.
and no, unmasking is incredibly painful with very limited benefits.
i am a very precarious point in my life, and i can't imagine being MORE VISIBLY DISABLED is going to help me AT ALL.
and no, abandoning this idea that i'm "special" is not helpful and not possible at this moment.
that lesbian that reached out to DP is younger than me, and that is still the closest i've ever come to someone ACTUALLY relating to me on that front.
i have never been on a date. i am almost 29 years old. people consider that a RED FLAG abt me.
everything i listen to has ppl expressing surprised or amusement if someone hasn't had sex by a certain age, or kissed by a certain age.
or ppl saying "it's fine if you're a late bloomer lesbian, in my experience most of us don't care if it's you're first time with a woman"
how about first time, PERIOD? how about first relationship, PERIOD?
it's just this whole part of life that i've never been a part of and i WANT.
i was interested in boys in school. i DID pursue them. in the classically awkward but not overly creepy (as far as i can remember) way of young preteens and teens.
and it was never received well. it never went well.
i'm just tired.
i don't want platitudes "oh life will be better if you do xyz" or "tons of ppl share that experience, it isn't unique"
i want an actual person w the same experience to look me in the eye and say "yeah that happened to me, too. it was awful."
i pay so much attention to other people that i have fun fancy little categories for them all in my head. not in a mean or limiting way, but where i get to see them grouped w other ppl and i can see Patterns in humanity--what i've seen of humanity.
i think abt my friends & other ppl & their lives and appearances and experiences and what i like abt them or just thinking abt them and taking them in.
yes i pay attn to making myself as inoffensive as possible--but based on what i know abt those ppl. i couldn't do what i do if i wasn't paying attention to other ppl in a very close and important way. all i do is think abt and anticipate how others might feel. i try to be considerate. i try to frame my language in a way that's helpful or clear to them. i don't want to hurt them or show that i misunderstood them if i did--i want to make sure i understand them as much as i can.
conflict is a part of life, and in theory it's fine--the problem is that even productive conflict rarely ever goes well for me. even if i want to address it. even if i try and handle it REALLY well.
i'm just tired of responses that flatten out the REASONS why things go poorly, the REASONS these are the protective strategies and masking i've had to learn.
my "problem" is that i don't care if it hurts me. and that no one cares abt my hurt.
but i've had to pay close attention to others my whole life. i've had to do things to make life survivable. and i don't even have it that bad.
i'm in this stupid grey area where it's not that bad so i should just get over it.
then i get yelled at for comparing myself to others, when it's all i've been taught to do.
everything i do is wrong and my fault and i'm tired.
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I've seen a lot of Azula and Zuko discourse lately and Azula definitely does not treat the people around her the way that she should, but I think that saying she doesn't care is wrong. Azula does care about the people she's around, but she cannot put them before herself. I really don't think she knows how to.
In the catacombs, Azula offers Zuko the deal to come home with her. I'd like to point out that this is before she "kills" Aang. Azula has no clue that she's going to end the Avatar's whole career if you will. I mean I'm not a great strategist or anything like Azula, but I really can't think of any reason for her to just invite Zuko home with her. Maybe she did plan to use him later, but I do genuinely think that she wanted her brother around.
"The Beach" is an episode that humanizes Azula tremendously. We see her fail at being a normal teenager throughout the entire episode, and it really does just remind us that she is a victim too (though this does not condone her behavior). Azula is mean to Ty Lee at the party, and she actually opens up to Ty Lee and tells her exactly why she said the mean thing (I'm not looking for the exact thing rn sorry). Azula pretty much immediately tries to take back the thing she said too. She admits she's wrong and tries to make it up to Ty Lee. She does care. We also see Azula go after Zuko in this episode. She recognizes that their old vacation house holds bad memories for him and tells him to come back with her. If she didn't care, she wouldn't have thought about how Zuko was feeling or how she could try to help with those feelings.
This is not related to Zuko, but I think the catalyst to Azula's breakdown in the finale is the betrayal she experienced at the Boiling Rock. Yes, it could just be about control slipping through her fingertips, but I believe that control was Azula's way of keeping the people around her there and present.
Of course this is not to excuse Azula's mistreatment of the people around her. I just think that the argument that she doesn't care is wrong.
#azula#zuko#zuko and azula#ty lee#just a little ty lee here#but she's important#im sorry if this is dumb#i may just be too soft and feel too bad for azula
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Not a spoiler just Stancy discussion overall feel free to answer whenever or never lol
I'm also really scared that they make Stancy happen, first of all it undoes everything Steve went through to get to the point where he is now. Like Nancy BROKE him she emotionally cheated on him for a year and then cheated on him literally when they were together, you can't tell me they were over when she slept with Jonathan especially since Steve went to her house trying to talk. He only let her go after that and she made him believe he was a shitty boyfriend even though she cheated and left him to date another guy not even 2 days afterwards, she never apologized to him and he had such a hard time to get over her. He was supportive of her in any way, he went to the Hollands even though he wasn't friends with Barb, he tried to protect Nancy when she wanted to tell Barb's parents and yeah maybe in that moment she felt misunderstood but he was never a shitty boyfriend.
Second why Stancy fucking sucks is Nancy deserves to be single for a while as well, she really needs it to sort her shit out. She is always in a relationship and never really her own person. She treated Jonathan like garbage in s3 and still there are TOGETHER as of rn, getting with Steve means cheating yet again on your partner even if you think it's over, you should have the decency to call it quits. She deserves to be her own person and not jump from guy to guy.
I get why Steve is hung up on her, he currently questions his entire life what he wants and Nancy was his first love so ofc he searches for someone or something like that. However that's from Steve's perspective he doesn't know she never really loved him, she loved that he felt secure and safe but she never loved him like she loved Jonathan. Why else would she wanted Jonathan to wait for her, why else couldn't she say it back???
Making Stancy a thing again is a disservice to both characters, they both deserve to grow individually and I hope to god the Duffers didn't fuck this up. Like man you guys, the writers of our fandom, understand their character so much better and I know there will be fix it fics if they indeed fuck it up. It's so annoying nobody asked for Stancy, nobody, so I hope they don't make it a thing again. I'm at ep4 atm while I'm typing this I'm scared where this is going.
it’s like you took the words directly out of my throat and wrote them out!!!!! i agree whole heartedly!!!! it would be extremely regressive of them to do that - but i GENUINELY believe in my heart they’re not going to follow through. there would be no point! i think this is all leading up to steve’s realization of “what he wants” - which i really have no clue where they’re going to go with that. but i just PRAYYY. i hope to GODDDD i am right and this shit is dropped by the end of s4 i can’t live like this any longer
#answered#st4#st4 spoilers#st spoilers#stranger things spoilers#anon you get it#i think not ONE person is asking for this to happen so i don’t know where the revelation goes#long post
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Know what i am gonna scream abt this because i feel like I'm losing my mind reading some of these takes
Like coming from someone who fucking hated haida last season i really feel like he did not deserve the shit that happens to him this season
Like yeah he starts out as sad and pathetic as last season but it honestly feels like through the season he's genuinely trying to better himself and find passion in what he's doing. He's not always in the right obviously but it really does not seem like the punishment fits the crime here.
(Which yes he is committing an actual crime, but from what i can tell it's actually not tax fraud. From what i can tell if they trying to commit tax fraud they would lower the numbers in order to receive more tax breaks, with them raising the numbers it was to trick investors. Which, boohoo poor billionaire investors i guess)
I dunno i just feel like this season spent way too long tryin to make me feel bad for ton, who abused his position of power over retsuko for all of season 1 and a good chunk of the other seasons. And trying to make haida out to be the bad guy when, after they get together, retsuko's kind of a really shitty girlfriend
Like after they get together and he becomes office manager it feels like she’s holding him to this really weird standard while also constantly blowing him off and lying abt where she actually was. Like the scene w tadano is really fucked because haida has every reason to be upset here, look at it from his perspective. Retsuko keeps turning down his offers to hang out, he doesn't know what she’s doing in that time, qnd then he finds her being driven home by an ex she was in a very serious relationship with, like he should have talked to retsuko and not tadano but that's still really suspicious and i genuinely don't blame him for being upset.
I dunno my thoughts are very scattered rn but this season really made me hate retsuko. I feel like this entire season was her just acting morally high and mighty both with her babyin ton (who, again, just reapt what he sowed by abusing his position of power) and trying to belittle haida as this terrible person when really what he did was probably the least scummy thing we've seen come out of the company, period
Again, might ne different if it was like tax fraud or something but we see no damage done from what haida's doing and if it is just to impress investors, it's billionaires throwing money at each other, i just don't care, show actual consequences if you want me to care
I know the writers can't very well just write off him commiting a crime, but i feel like the way the cast (especially retsuko) treats him even before he starts window dressing, just isn't reasonable
#my thoughts are very scattered but hopefully this at least somewhat gets my point across#i just feel like this show jas very much lost the plot#like it really feels like retsuko regressed as a character this season#and her and haida have swapped to now it’s like she's the one w this weird idealized version of haida she wants#and when he's not that she suddenly loses interest#like the one time he blows her off after they get together it's because he's fucking busy?#like you can't expect your partner to drop everything for you at the drop of a hat#that's not reasonable#like i know what the show wants me to feel but god i do not feel it#like retsuko was a terrible partner and a terrible friend this season#ton did not need her#ton played stupid games and got stupid rewards#aggretsuko spoilers
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(Long post, tw for weight, ed, emetaphobia)
Reading the differences between arfid and ana rn and it got me thinking:
Sometimes I don't want to lose weight (and sometimes I would even like to gain- I just want to be a healthy weight for me) but there are always other things that stop me from eating- for one, everything I eat causes severe pain or makes me nauseous and I have a phobia of vomiting (emetophobia) . Which is actually what first triggered my ed- however when I stopped eating, people were always commenting "wow you must have anorexia", "good job losing weight", "you just wont eat because you think you're fat" or something along those lines. And idk... that made me think that I *should* feel that way I guess? And so i made myself. I experience a lot of shame about both my anorexia and my emetophobia but the emetophobia FAR outweighs that of the anorexia. I had a hunch that this was just how all anorexia is but I can't really speak for others. I feel like anorexia isn't about weight or food but about fear and avoidance just like arfid, (given, anorexia seems to be more competitive) and that the causes are equally as diverse. That anorexia should be treated differently than it is now for that reason- because currently I see a large lack of compassion towards AN patients and a lot of depreciating implications of them (they are vain, manipulative/liars, judgemental, delusional, combative etc.) too that I don't see with arfid (not to say arfid is being treated in the best way either- its definitely still not ideal I'm just using the differences to explore what could maybe be improved). I feel like all eating disorders are specific to the individual and equally as complicated as that person and their entire past has been- meaning that treating all of them the same could be incredibly harmful. Imagine you go to recovery and they teach you that being fat isn't bad- thats good, its true and starts you reasoning and maybe you feel better for a while. But if it was never about being fat you're very likely to relapse. And after this happens enough times, you start to feel like maybe you CAN'T get better, like every attempt will fail because that's all you know.
I can't speak for people with different experiences than me- for example, I've never really experienced being fat or going to treatment for arfid. So let this open the conversation- tell your story or share advice or some information- whatever you feel like needs to be added to this post 💙
And thank you if you read all this I know this post was verrrry long but thank you for bearing with me. I might add more to this post later since this is something I think about a lot and feel pretty strongly about and I feel like it deserves an open minded, nuanced, and on-going conversation.
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Ask Game! I'm pretty sure I know how you feel about most of them, so: 2, 3, 13, 20 💙💙
Hey, Morgs, dear! Thank you for the questions, I'm going to apologize in advance bc this will probably get a bit rambly 💜
✨ 2. Do you have any daily practices? What are they?
I have quite a few! I try to do them daily, sometimes I don't have the energy/forget bc of work and ADHD, but I do try. I almost always veil in the mornings if I have work, at night I make sure I cleanse and energize my devotional charms. I journal daily, for gratitude/manifestation purposes. I knock primary deck daily (more if I have the energy) and try to keep up with my daily pulls for my loved ones (I admit I slack on readings for myself, though). I have a car ritual, as well, but that's for protection so it's hushity hush
✨3. What's your favorite type of magic to use (knot magic, candle magic, pop culture magic, etc)?
I truly adore any type of green or death craft, but I also love working with oils! I use oil magic for divination, cleansing, warding, glamours, etc. I'm recently reconnecting with my slavic folk craft, which has been lovely stressful, as well
✨ 13. What types of divination readings are you willing to do, but don't really enjoy?
Ah, this is...I'm not entirely sure how to answer this question? My immediate response was oracle reading, but that's not really true. I find oracle reading to be a bit more...challenging for me? I'd prefer to use tarot/tea/runes/oils. But I do like oracle, I just don't bond with Oracle decks as well as other divinative tools. I also love to scry, but I don't read that way for others. And as far as subject matter, I'm ok with virtually everything, but I won't do what I consider fear mongering/nonconsensual readings (ie I'm not going to tell you when you're going to die, advice on how to get rid of someone in the way of you and your crush, etc)
✨ 20. What’s your unpopular opinion regarding magic, spirituality or religion?
Honestly, I'm kinda drawing a blank rn. I feel like I ramble all the time about my unpopular opinions but ya know, lol. This isn't really an unpopular opinion anymore, but I do stand by the fact that pretty much anyone can be a witch. I will say, though, that I think as it is a craft and a spiritually, sometimes I think not enough people in the community take it as seriously as they should (I don't think I'm wording this properly). I'm not saying that your craft can't be more of a hobby, because it can. But I don't like seeing people treat it as a joke. If you want to use the witch aesthetic, that's perfectly fine (considering it slaps), and I fully support it, just be respectful of others' practices and cultures
✨ Ask the witch! ✨
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(Tldr: I broke it off with sum1 tonight. Sum1 who will grief the fk outta me from now on. Was totally worth it. Annoyed bc got treated like an absolute mug but I'm almost outta the woods)
I finally blocked someone I should have weeks ago.
But I'm scared now.
Scared of how spiteful they're gonna be.
They acted like they were a saint.
(Bearing in mind I distrust easily n have doubts frequently, I can't believe sum1 till I see the way they act. Plus I get pretty petty, bear with n ill simmer down lol)
They said that they'd always be capable. Always reliable, dependable and wise.
Of course their wise. So wise they get easily annoyed by petty things and if you're around them when their like this, it's your fault. Not theirs.
It's you who has to know everything then. In that situation your just being spiteful if u don't act accordingly.
If you fuck up or mess up its because you're a horrible person. I almost got myself into another really shitty relationship.
Cliché but I legit wanna vow that I'll b single for the rest of my days lmao like I actually need tht tho. I'm terrible. I go for the worst ppl.
ppl who literally revel in harming me or enjoy mocking and spitefulness. And I don't really want sex. Or touch.
I can't stand hugs anymore bc of all the times I knew ppl who just wanted to touch me inappropriately n hugs is an easy way to get there for them.
There's nothing and no one I can trust in relationships or love. I don't want any of it and it doesn't interest me anymore.
I just feel lonely once in a while. That's okay tho. What isn't okay.. is that occasionally I decide to fuck up my blissful solitude for some fuck boi that just wants to make me feel smaller than I already do. 😪
I was going to theirs each night for a month.
I'm just glad I'm away from it now. But each night I'd think "I don't want to go there"
"I don't want to be here"
"I don't want to be around him."
"I don't want him to touch me"
And of course, like a completely stockholm syndromed fking tool, I'd still go and let him guide the situation but not in a way I'd normally be fine with.
Who deliberately goes to be around someone that makes them feel utterly and entirely dismal and miserable.
The whole time I thought maybe I'll just relax bc I really just want this to be something good for me.
And for the first week things looked hopeful.
But it only got worse.
It was the first time I'd slept with sum1 other than my ex in like 9 years, I thought I could get past the fact I didn't want 2 b touched by him but, after a month or so, I still felt repulsed whenever he touched me.
I don't like being touched by almost every1 bar 1 or 2 ppl I can trust
(yea my love life is that parched n weak lol pray for me)
K I rly need to grab some water dehydrated af. Gonna go on a fast cos I need some feckin mental clarity rn n a fast will get me there in nxt few days just glad there's finally peace, I'm back home. He can't get annoyed at me for wanting to leave bc I'm never going bk. I've blocked him n I don't do tht lightly. Any1 I block gets outta my life n I only block em once I can tell they'll b gone for good. But anyways yay freedom.
I wish all petty control freaks a very get fucked <3
#vent post#personal rant#needed to vent#literally fml#woohoo tho#i escaped something id normally just let continue#legit woulda seen me 10 year on with some sweaty fuckboi#probs still will but fuck no. damned if i let that happen. ive got so sick of petty mfkers making my life harder than it ever had 2 b.#fuck that noise
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Ok, I’m gonna be honest here, because I have enough of this shit
The “Colby situation” proves just how dumb our society is 🥴
Like why everytime that you see a man and women together you assume that they MUST be together or must made out, slept with each other etc.. How about being just friends? Is that a surprise for you? Yeah, opposite genders can be JUST friends as well, they do not have to have any romantic feelings for each other.
Tbh I see it that way: Colby is only friends with those girls and i do not give a damn shit if he slept with them or not ( again to sleep with someone you do not have have deeper feelings for them), but I feel like he treats them only as his friends and wants to be friends with them, but people immediately jumping on thousands of assumptions about him having feelings for one of them or something else, whenever he literally breathes next to them, makes it harder for him.
Remember what Harry Styles once said in an Interview back in 2013?: “I have a lot of friends, some of them are girls and apparently I am dating all of them”. If you didn’t see that interview and him saying that, I can tell you that his voice when he was saying it sounded SAD.
I can see the same thing literally happening with Colby rn. He has friends and some of those friends were/are girls and apparently he is dating/dated ALL of them.
That is so fucked up. Stop making assumptions, especially that you are talking about straight relationships. If he would be with one of those girls, he would say something, since there is no need for him to hide a relationship with a girl. As long as he won’t say anything about his love life, then fans should just stop assuming that he is in love with every single girl he literally just hangs out with.
sorry it took me a bit to answer this one !
i'm not entirely sure why so many fans can't understand that colby can be friends with a girl and have it be nothing more than platonic.
while some of the girls he's been "seen" with have been more than platonic, even then, assuming he can't just be friends with girls is gross to me.
boiling colby down to just this walking sex monster thing that HAS to fuck any girl he's in contact with is weird. not to mention, thinking that he can't be friends with girls without wanting to fuck them makes him look terrible.
like, girls and guys can be just friends. colby is just friends with most if not all the girls he's around. he's not with every one of them.
not to mention, but even if he outright says "i'm just friends with this girl", ppl think he's lying. but if he doesn't address it, ppl think he's hiding the """relationship""" 🙄
and then on top of all of that, they wonder why he doesn't share his love life with us. maybe it's the fact that he can't even have one without ppl losing it and sending hate to a girl that just stood next to him that he's not even WITH.
it's, like, exhausting to be in this fandom.
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