#i can't stop you so why waste my energy

[ningsols]

time to admit something.... i don't care what you script!!!!!!! it does not affect me AT ALL and i couldn't care less!!!!!! of course i have my own morals that i prefer to follow but you? that's up to you!!!!!! i don't care!!!!!! stop asking me to care!!!!!

[halinski]

.

[sege-h]

I think I'm done trying to give people advice if they're hellbent on making bad decisions unless i really care about them

[definitelysel]

MELUSINES ON THE MISSION

pairing: neuvilette x reader

synopsis: he takes you to Merusea Village for his birthday as a friend, leaves the village with you as his significant other. All thanks to some wingwomen- no melusines.

contains : reader is a baker by profession, fluff, wingwomen melusines, whipped, lovesick neuvilette, mutual pining, corny, neuvillette can deal with anything expect romantic feelings and gestures, spoilers for 4.2 story quest, references to his birthday letter.

a/n : happy birthday to best boi neuvi. he is deffo a lovesick dude and you can't change my mind.

sequel of this fic , but can be read as a stand alone.

Neuvillette stared at the calender, eyebrows knitted together, pen twirling in his slender fingers.

"Should it be in spring? No that would be inconvenient...same holds true for autumn." He grumbled.

"My Dear Ludex, What's got you so tensed?" Furina chimed in, taking a glance at calender.

"I am trying to settle on a day to serve the purpose of being my birthday." Neuvillette sighed. If only he remembered the actual date. Furina took the pen from his hand and randomly circled a date without sparing a glance.

"18th of December? Why so?"

"My dear Ludex, this is such a trivial matter! Don't waste your energy on this. We must save it for the thrills of the court!" She patted his shoulder and walked off.

18th Decemeber.

That was today.

Neuvillette recalled while signing some documents he had received this morning. He finished up his work and turned around to arrange all the files and declutter the cabinets.

When he glanced back, he saw a small gift on the edge of this table. A smile crept up onto his face as he peeked a bit further to see the head of a melusine sticking out.

"You can stop hiding." He mused as the melusine slowly revealed themselves. Slowly but surely more melusines emerged out of their hiding spots.

"Happy Birthday Monsieur Neuvillette!" They all cheered as Neuvillette had a hearty laugh. The strict and straightforward Chief Justice had a soft spot for the adorable creatures and went to lengths to assure their safety.

"Thank you all. I appreciate your kind gesture." He smiled and picked up the small gift delicately and unwrapped the present. His ears could pick up the melusines muttered amongst themselves.

"...ask him."

"No you ask him!"

"Ask me what?" Neuvillette looked up to see the pleading faces of the Melusines. Yup, they were most definitely trying to persuade him into agreeing to something and Neuvillette knew he couldn't refuse.

"Will you come to Merusea Village this time?" They asked but it sounded more of a demand than a question.

Neuvillette paused. Of course they would ask that. He hadn't visited last year due to the chaos in Fontaine and the death of Focalors. He couldn't bring himself to celebrate his birthday after her death. This time, he agreed on it.

"Sure. I will make sure to extricate myself of my duties and come to Merusea Village." He reassured the Melusines, who bounced up and down in excitement before scurrying out of his office.

Neuvillette sat down and began making preparations so that he could depart worry-free to Merusea Village without any problems arising.

He found his thoughts drifting towards you. A promise he had made you a month ago.

"My schedule is full for the following month. However, I will be sure to pay you a visit after that." He recalled his words to you. Neuvillette had now made up his mind. He was going to take you with him to Merusea Village for his birthday and let all the melusines meet you.

He couldn't help but long for that queasy feeling with stirred in his chest everytime he was in your proximity. He would feel jittery and his palms would feel clammy and sweaty everytime he saw your beaming smile and witty remarks that never ceased to amaze him.

Well that was easier said than done.

"Would like to accompany me to Merusea Village?" He said before facepalming. "No that would be too straightforward...I might sound authoritative and I don't wish to given off that impression..." Neuvillette had been pacing back and forth in front of the bakery and had been rehearsing the past 15 minutes.

He remained apathetic towards the people who would gasp and mutter at the sight of the Chief Justice's unannounced appearance. "Hello, it is my birthday today and I would like you to accompany me to Merusea Village." Neuvillette said before groaning in annoyance.

"No..if I were to straight away declare that it is my birthday then, it would sound self-centered of me." He muttered, his hand on his chin. "Ah, Yes. Greetings, it has been a long time since we last met. According to our public pronouncements, it is my birthday today and since I take out time each year to visit Merusea Village, I would love for you to accompany m–

"It's your birthday?" You gasped, your sudden appearance catching him off guard. You could see him tense up before turning around and awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

"Uh erm- yes." He fake coughed to compose himself again. "You should've told me, Monsieur! I would've prepared you a special cake!" You suggested. It would've made up for a good and genuine gift.

"No need for it. I was wondering if you would accompany me–"

"To some place you visit every year on your birthday? Sure! I was just finishing closing up the shop for the weekend, so yes I can accompany you!" You chimed at him. Spending time with Neuvillette, that too on his birthday!? Now that was opportunity you weren't letting go.

You weren't going to admit that you had taken interest in him and wanted to get opportunities to get to know him better but since he was a busy man, this was a perfect opportunity!

"Then let's leave, shall we?" He offered his gloved hand to you. You reached out to take it but he retracted his hand back and instead gestured in the direction you had to walk towards.

You could see his ears turn pink as he started to walk away. You were about to hold his hand? Then why did he back away?? Right someone as high and mighty as the Chief Justice won't settle for a ordinary baker–

You shook your thoughts away and followed him.

"Monseiur Neuvillette is here!" The Melusines erupted into cheers and circled around him. You could see him smile and pat their heads. Neuvillette's smile had swept your heart off its feet. Your heart swoll at the sight of him smiling, heartily laughing at the swarm of Melusines. Dare you say, you were trying to stop your face from turning red.

"Everyone, meet [Name]. They are my friend and I presumed you would all love to meet them." He gestured towards you as the little melusine heads turned towards you, judgingly.

"Um- hello." You awkwardly smiled. The Melusines seemed to have marked you off their suspicion list considering they had now dragged you away to indulge in their silly activities.

Chasing other melusines, laughing with them, sitting around the bonfire, making flower crowns, it seems like you had a whole new world. You took the crown to Neuvillette. "Monseiur Neuvillette! Look!" You ran up to him as he turned towards you, with a smile lingering on his face.

"Is that a flower crown?" He mused, inspecting the bundle of flowers. You nodded and reached up to put it on his head. However, as you were putting it on his head, you both found yourselves gazing at eachother, fondly.

His eyes said so much despite his face showing so little. You two were unaware of the conversation between the melusines in the background.

"Oui oui! Monsieur Neuvillette definitely likes her!"

"Oui! You are so right, he looks at her in a certain way!"

"Should we help him?"

"Yes!" They all agreed.

"Monseiur Neuvillette! [Name]!" All of them yelled. You and Neuvillette snap out of it and turn your faces away, both of your cheeks flushing a shade of red.

"You guys should stay for a bit longer!" The Melusines tugged on your clothes and his robe. Eyes widen like puppies. Now how could you refuse to those cute faces.

"Sure! I would love too. It is the weekend anyways." You nodded and Neuvillette also agreed.

Now the plan was in full swing.

Neuvillette went inside the accommodation the melusines had prepared. He walked over to the desk and spotted a neatly kept letter.

Dear Neuvillette,

I wish to tell you that you are really pretty and I find you interesting. I can't seem to find the courage to express it though.

Sincerely,

[Name]

His face flushed red as he did a double take, flipping the letter to assess its legitimacy. The Melusines peeped through the small window, seeing his reaction.

"He is blushing!" One whispered.

"Huh? I never thought those cheesy and corny sentences would actually make him all flushed." Another marveled

"I tried my best okay? It's hard to act like that girl considering we just met her." The third nudged the other.

"You think sending them fake letters is going to work?" The fourth asked.

"Duh!" The first 3 yelled at him.

You, on the hand, were reading the letter given to you over and over again.

Dear [Name],

You seem to have captured my thoughts. I find myself thinking about you every passing moment. However, I don't mind this feeling.

Sincerely,

Neuvillette.

You giggled like a high-schooler with a big fat crush on a ficitional guy. Who knew the Chief Justice was so lovey-dovey! How endearing.

"The plan worked!" The first melusine beamed.

"Both of them hopeless." 2nd one sighed.

"Hopelessly in love!" 3rd one snickered.

"Let's wait and watch." The 4th reminded.

The next day, you both were busy with groups of Melusines, chatting and playing yet both of you kept catching glances at eachother and looked away in embarrassment.

The Melusines rejoiced in their plan of fake letters to both of you, working. This kept on going. Both of you would find a letter in your room each time you came to freshen up or rest.

You and Neuvillette found yourselves blushing and feeling clammy at the letters, unaware of the true sender of these letters, until...

Meet me by the lake, 9pm.

As planned, both of you reached the lake, looking around to find the other. When you caught sight of Neuvillette, your breath was taken away. His white hair framed his fair perfectly and his eyes shined in the moonlight.

"Hello.." you started.

"Hello to you too." He replied. Well this is awkward.

"So um..do you truly believe I am- uh pretty as you mentioned in the letter?" Neuvillette asked, refusing to make eye contact. How fascinating that a man of status and authority is reduced to a flustered mush infront of the person he wishes to be with.

"Huh- what letter? I don't remember sending you a letter." You tilted your head in confusion. You received letters but you never wrote any reply back.

Neuvillette's eyes widened. "Then who sent- oh. The melusines.." he sighed, pinching his nose. "I am so sorry for the inconvenience." He apologized.

"Oh.." you sounded disappointed. So it was a lie then? Neuvillette said any of those sweet words which you had read in the letters. You could feel your heart break and chest ache. How did you manage to fall into this rabbit hole of loving the Ludex of Fontaine only to have your hopes crushed.

"What did they write in the letters given to you?" He calmly asked after a brief moment of silence.

"They said that you kept thinking about me and how you liked me and didn't mind the feeling...it is fine though! I am glad it is a lie hahaha." You waved your hands dismissively.

"..it is true." He blurted out. In his mind, it was now or never.

"Huh?" You stared at him, dumbfounded.

"It is true. I am indeed infatuated with you." You could visibly see his face flush pink. After your brain computed the information, you also turned red.

"I- I feel the same-..I always thought that I was too plain and simple for your liking.." you awkwardly muttered.

"No. It may be inappropriate of me to say this but..I believe that you are just perfect. You are perfect the very way you are, [Name]." The words effortlessly rolled off his tongue, though his flustered face told another story.

You hugged him without a warning, nuzzling your face into his chest. The hug felt warm, like the ocean hugging you with their waves as the sun dawned its warmth on your skin. Neuvillette wrapped his arms around you. You could hear his heart thundering against his chest.

"You like me that much huh?" You wriggled your eyebrows, with a teasing grin.

"Let's not bring that matter up." He huffed, trying to maintain his calm and composed composure. Oh he definitely was feeling giddy but why admit it?

"We will miss you!" The Melusines whined and fake cried, clinging to your legs as Neuvillette chuckled.

"Well, let's leave, shall we? It is a long walk back." He asked you, a soft smile on his face, his smile lines crinkling. Oh Archons! If only you had a Kamera on you.

"Mhm!" You nodded. He, again offered you his gloved hand, which you took into yours as you both started your journey back.

This time he didn't back away. Instead, he took your hand firmly in his and walked away, together, with you by his side.

a/n : happy birthday dear Neuvillette. Gosh i love this man so much, it's unhealthy. I can listen to him talk for hours about different tastes of water.

not proof read.

don't copy, plagiarize, repost.

©definitelysel

[gyll-yee-haw]

Can you write an age gap fic where Jake is older than the reader, and maybe he's been getting in his head about it. Maybe one night they start making it, and he's in his head and can't get hard, and he freaks thinking this proves he's too old for his girl? Little angst, lot of fluff and smut lol

Hii, honey! Thank you for the amazing request, I got SO carried away with it lol... well, let's start 2024 with this one <3

Warnings: age gap, angst (talks of breaking up, anxiety attack), dry humping, cum in pants, slapping, dirty talk, oral (fem. recieving).

Like 4.1k words 💀

Jake sighed as he scrolled through the pictures of last weekend's red carpet event. Maybe was the bad lighting but... something seemed off. He looked so... different. But then... he looked at you. As gorgeous as always. He could swear you were getting more gorgeous every day. But he was just... aging.

He tried not to care about all the mean comments you both had to deal with, due to your age gap, but it was different when he could see it with his own eyes. How in a few years he would not only not be good looking enough for you, but he might also not... be able to give you the life you deserve. He wouldn't have the same energy or the same goals. What if he got sick and useless and you had to waste your life taking care of him?

His heart broke at that thought. He couldn't do that to you. But what was the other option? Breaking up with the love of his life?

His thoughts were interrupted by you opening the front door. He quickly locked his phone and threw it on the coffee table. He kinda hoped you hadn't seen those pictures... he thought you would feel less attracted to him if you realized what he just realized.

"Hi, baby." You almost moaned at the sight of him, so cozy on the sofa. You had such a long, stressful day and you just couldn't wait to be in his arms.

"Been thinking bout you all day." you sighed, straddling him. You felt him tense under you. "Want you so bad right now..."

"You do, baby?" He knew he would have to use his best acting skills to hide how tense he was. The problem was that he was never good at lying to you.

But maybe... sex would help. Help him relax, help him get his mind off all that... it's what the two of you always did after a stressful day, relax by pleasuring each other... maybe that was the key.

You kept rubbing your clothed core against his, as you kissed his neck and moaned obscenely. "Need you, Jake, need you so bad, oh my god..."

That would usually make him shiver, drive him so crazy he would have to take control immediately. But right now... he felt kinda overwhelmed. He felt like your body heat was too much and your words made his heart race, but just not in a good way.

God, he loved you. Those thoughts he was having... being so scared of losing you, was all because he loved you too much... he wanted to make you feel so good... it was like his mind and soul craved the same as you, but his body just wasn't responding.

Fuck. His body WASN'T responding. He grabbed your waist so much tighter than he usually does, making your hips move faster. He grunted as he kept forcing your hips, but NOTHING. Why wasn't him hard? Not even a little bit! For fucks sake, all it takes for you to get him hard is a look... now you were begging for it on his lap and NOTHING.

It broke his heart. His princess asking him something he just couldn't give... and what if... what if he just couldn't do it anymore?

"Jake!" You called. And by your tone, he could tell it wasn't the first time, he just couldn't listen. "Jake, please, stop, you're hurting me..."

"Fuck, I'm sorry, I..." he immediately let go of your hips, hands going straight to his face, rubbing it desperately.

"Jake? Baby? What's going on?" You grabbed his arms, removing his hands from his face, so he would look at you.

"Can't breath." He whispered.

"Calm down, baby, I'm right here, okay? You're safe, everything's okay, I promise." You placed both hands on his shoulders, taking deep breaths so he would follow.

"I'm so fucking sorry." He said, as soon as his heart rate normalized.

"For what, baby?" You brought a hand to his cheek, caressing it slowly.

"Can't do it." His words were vague, but the fact that he couldn't look you in the eyes gave away what he was talking about.

"Hey..." you sighed, giving him a tight hug. "It's okay, we don't have to. I mean, you never pressured me when I wasn't feeling like it. You have all the right in the world to say no. I'm actually very happy you did, I don't wanna make you uncomfortable, okay? You should have told me sooner, I didn't mean to..."

"No, Y/N, you don't get it." He interrupted you, closing his eyes. "I really want to, but I can't."

"Baby, you have to tell me what's going on, you're scaring me..." you tried one more time to get him to look at you, but he just wouldn't. "Are you okay?"

He didn't say anything. You took a moment to look at him. Maybe you should have done that before starting anything, because he clearly looked upset. Exhausted, frustrated... you just couldn't understand why he wasn't talking.

"I'm gonna go get you some water, okay?" You asked sweetly, and he just nodded.

The feeling when his lap lost contact with you was both a relief and the start of brand new paranoias. He needed space. Needed to be in silence for a moment. But... symbolically, it hit him hard. He felt like he was losing you and he wished he would be strong enough to stop it. To hold you tightly, even if it made it hard to breathe.

You came back with a glass of water and sat beside him on the sofa. He accepted the glass with a fake smile and just looked at it for a moment. You waited patiently until he took a sip. He visibly calmed down a little bit.

"Do you think you can talk now?" You spoke calmly. "Or do you want to rest a bit?"

He wasn't sure. There was no point in delaying it, but, at the same time, he didn't even know where to start.

"Okay, we'll rest a bit." You added after waiting for his response, but getting nothing. "Why don't we watch a movie and cuddle a bit? Wouldn't that be perfect?"

"I..." he spoke for the first time in what felt like hours for both of you. "I would love that."

You felt relief wash over you after hearing his voice. You were sure he would be back to normal and finally open up soon now.

You grabbed the remote and chose whatever silly rom-com popped up, just as a distraction. He sat more comfortably and you sat between his legs, snuggling on his chest. His arms wrapped around you and you allowed your body to relax.

No words were spoken during the first half of the movie. Sometimes, his arms would wrap around you extra-tightly, as the anxiety of losing you peaked again, and as he calmed down, he would relax again, kissing the top of your head.

The result of being so relaxed inside your lover's embrace after a long, stressful day was obvious: you fell asleep. When Jake noticed, he chuckled sadly. You were so beautiful. So young and breathtakingly pretty... His fingertips traced your cheeks very lightly, afraid he would wake you up. He wished he could freeze that moment right there. But he knew he couldn't. He knew that time was running, flying, specially for him. He felt like he was rotting right beside you, as you laid peacefully, like a marble sculpted goddess.

His mind was flooded with what happened earlier. You had long forgotten, but in his head, you went to sleep extremely sexually frustrated. He felt disgusted by his old man flaccid cock. He couldn't imagine how you would want to touch it. And he knew you had a high sex drive. One he was always able to satisfy, but... now? And it would only get worse. Every minute that passed, it was getting worse. An agonizing ache filled his chest again. He was losing you.

Your eyes fluttered open to find him looking at you with the saddest expression you had ever seen on him. He didn't even try to hide it. He kept stroking your face and gave your forehead a long kiss.

"Jakey..." you whispered.

"My love." He whispered, lips still touching your skin. "My sweet girl."

"Yes, baby." You smiled, placing your hands on top of his. "I'm your girl. All yours."

You couldn't understand why that was the wrong thing to say at the moment, since he loved to hear it, but it clearly was. He sighed and eliminated all forms of physical contact between the two of you, standing up and walking in circles in front of you.

That's when it hit you. It was obvious that he didn't want to tell you because you were the problem. He didn't want to have sex with you, because you disgusted him. You wondered how long he had been faking it, because he looked fine when you left for work that morning... he just didn't know how to do it, how to end things, because he was too nice to hurt you.

"I get it." You said, feeling your heart break. "Do you want me to leave?"

He stopped walking and looked at you.

"Baby..." he sighed.

"Don't call me baby." You replied, angrily. "I wish I had realized this before."

Your words hurt him more than a knife could ever do. So, he didn't have to say anything. In the end, you realized it all by yourself. Maybe it was his failure earlier? You didn't even want to try again to see if he could do it... well, maybe it was better like this. You couldn't waste your precious time and beauty with him anymore. And he was relieved that you realized that.

But his relief turned to panic as he saw you stand up and walk towards your shared bedroom. He followed you.

"What are you doing?" He questioned.

"Leaving." You spoke shortly, because if you tried to explain any further, you would cry, and you really didn't want to do that in front of him.

"But... but we should talk first..." he insisted. He knew you had to. He wanted the best for you, but when shit got serious, he started doubting everything.

"Oh, now you want to talk?" You clapped back, immediately regretting it. It didn't matter what he was doing to you, he was clearly having an anxiety attack earlier and you knew you should respect his time. "Shit, I'm sorry. I know you weren't feeling well, I just..."

"No, you're right." He interrupted you. "I was selfish. I shouldn't have allowed it to go this far."

"This far?" You frowned. "You're a fucking coward. What is it? You never fucking loved me, then you allowed me to move in and share a life with you for all these years because you didn't want to tell me the truth?"

"You can call me whatever you want." He raised his voice a bit. "But don't you dare think for a second that I didn't love you. Because I am going to love you for the rest of my life, I'm just trying to do what's best for you."

"Bullshit." You rolled your eyes, getting so close to him that your bodies touched, looking him in the eye, lips dangerously close. "Doing what's best for me is such BULLSHIT, fucking own what you're doing."

Well shit. Wrong time. A little late for that. But he was getting seriously turned on. Your anger. Your body and your words challenging him. The enormous sense of ownership he felt as soon as you said you were leaving... before he could think, he grabbed your wrists and pushed you against the wall, kissing you hungrily. Your hands tried to free themselves from his tight grip, but it was useless, the way his body pressed against yours made you absolutely weak.

"Don't do this, don't do it, please..." you begged as soon as he broke the kiss for air. "Don't fuck me cause you feel sorry for me, it's not fair..."

"I don't feel sorry for you." He was genuinely confused. "I fucking love you. Fucking love you, do you understand? Have to show you."

You didn't know anything anymore. Five minutes ago you were sure he didn't want you anymore... but that hunger in his eyes was the same one you saw every single time. Nothing changed. You didn't know what was his problem, all you knew was that you were going to let him take whatever he wanted from you, hoping to solve it.

His hands finally released yours, meeting your waist, but very differently from what they did earlier. This grip was familiar. The one used to keep your hips still as he absolutely destroyed your insides. Your body recognized it well and automatically made you crave him.

His lips left a trail of messy kisses and incomprehensible words all over your neck as his hips grinded against your lower abdomen, relieving the tension on his rock-hard cock. Part of him was terrified it would go away, so he kept going. And it was driving you CRAZY. He would often tease you, but that was another level.

"Jake, please, need you..." you begged.

Your words brought him back to the moment you said them earlier, and it sent a shiver down his spine. He had to keep up. If he disappointed you again, he knew he would have to let you go.

"Can't stop, baby, feels so good..." he replied, completely lost in the moment.

You moaned at the obscenity of the scene. The way your boyfriend grinded his cock desperately against you, so desperate he couldn't even wait to get undressed. The way his body had you pressed against the wall made it impossible for you to touch yourself. You knew you could come just from watching that scene if it went on for long enough. But it didn't.

Soon, his movements got messier.

"Fuck, baby, I'm gonna cum..." he moaned, teeth sinking into your neck.

"Come on, Jakey, do it..." you motivated him, desperate for it to end so you could get absolutely anything. "Cum for me, baby, need you to feel so good..."

"Fuck..." he moaned, hips bucking in a familiar way. He was so close.

"Yes, baby, keep going..." you smiled, as you saw him losing himself in pleasure. "Look at you, fucking cumming in your pants like a horny fucking teenager..."

That did it for him. He grunted like an animal. Came so much you could feel your belly wet from it, leaking through his pants.

"Fuck, Jacob." You rested your head against the wall, exhausted like you were the one who just came that hard. "What the hell was that?"

"I'm sorry." He kept his eyes shut, still pressed against you as he tried to catch his breath.

"Don't apologize, that was so fucking hot..." you moaned, pulling his hair.

"I don't want you to leave..." he whimpered.

You stopped everything. You were horny as hell, but there was something wrong with him and you needed to know. You couldn't stand the idea of fucking him then immediately getting dumped.

"Jake. I know you're struggling right now, okay? But you have to tell me what's going on if you want me to stay. At least... let me know if I did something wrong."

"You did nothing wrong." He separated your bodies, and you had to hold back a frustrated moan. He grabbed your hand and guided you to the bed, where you both sat down. "It's just... I've been thinking... you know what... it's so funny, you just called me a horny teenager..."

"Yeah, I mean, you just dry-humped me against a wall and blew a load in your pants, what am I supposed to say?" You smirked.

"Yeah, but I couldn't even get it up earlier." He said, frustratedly.

"Is that what this is about?" You frowned. "You're upset because..."

"Don't say it out loud." He cut you.

You started to laugh hysterically. And it didn't help that whenever you looked at his face, he looked like an absolutely confused idiot.

"What? Why are you laughing?" He tried to stop you.

"Jacob, that's so stupid." You took a deep breath to stop laughing. "So what? You're not a machine, it's okay if you don't feel like it sometimes. Oh god, if you hit me with the 'it never happened to me before', I swear I'm gonna laugh again."

"Well?" He thought he was supposed to be offended. But it really was kinda stupid, wasn't it? Some internalized sexism telling him to have a constant hard cock, ready to use, really for sex 24/7. He felt a little ridiculous. "I... I wasn't gonna say that, but I kinda have an explanation, if you want to hear it."

"Jake. You don't have to explain anything, baby." You reassured him. "It's not a problem. I'm glad we are talking about it, but it's not a big deal."

"No, you don't understand." He sighed. "I... listen, I know we've had this conversation before, but I feel like it's getting a little more real now. And I think we need to have it again, because you have to decide if this is still what you want."

Your eyes widened. Maybe it was a big deal.

"You're my everything, Y/N. But you're also... everything, just everything, you know? You're smart, and caring, and funny, and so fucking gorgeous, I can't... I can't describe what I see in you, what I know everyone out there sees in you." He continued. "And I can't help but feel like... I might not be enough for you in a few years. But then... after what happened earlier, I realized that I might... already not be good for you anymore."

"Jake..." you sighed. "You've been reading those stupid comments again?"

"No, no one told me anything, I've seen it with my own eyes." He explained. "I've seen pictures of us together and it's..."

"It's what?" You raised your eyebrows. "It's heavily edited or a terrible angle so the gossip pages can say I'm a gold digger? Or that you're some kind of monster who steal the innocence of helpless like girls?"

"Y/N..." he insisted. "We have to be realistic."

"Yes, Jake. Let's be realistic, then." You shrugged. "The truth is that I've been extremely happy, and all my emotional and physical needs completley satisfied. It's been like this for years and it will still be like this for years."

"You don't know that." He replied.

"Yes, I do. Trust me, I do." You caressed his face gently. "I'm sitting right in front of you and I'm seeing the most beautiful man I've ever seen. He has the same eyes he had on the movies I've seen before meeting him. The same gorgeous smile. I see some changes on your face and they make me so happy... to see that we're growing older together. That's a beautiful thing."

"I know, honey, but at some point I may not give you what you need anymore." He melted under your touch, placing a hand on top of yours.

"What if something happened to me tomorrow and you had to take care of me? And I was the one who couldn't give you anything anymore? Would you leave me?" You challenged him.

"It's different. That's probably not gonna happen. But we know that this is happening to me right now. And it will only get worse." He explained.

"There's nothing happening, Jake!" You chuckled. "Come on, you're healthier than me, you know that. And you know that what happened earlier only did because you were stressed."

"Maybe not?"

"Maybe not?" You rolled your eyes. "Yeah, I mean... it's so difficult for you to get an erection nowadays that you got one while I was fucking threatening to leave you."

He left out the most delicious laugh. That one he has. That one that turns your pupils into heart shapes.

"You're an IDIOT." You laughed with him, sitting on his lap and giving him a tight hug.

"I'm just worried about you. I just want to make sure you're happy." He sighed.

"Yes, sir, thanks for checking." You mocked him, but got back to a more serious tone afterwards. "It's okay if you want to have this conversation once in awhile. Just know that my answer is never going to change. I will always want you. I know things will change, but we went through so many changes already, and I love every single phase we live."

"Thank you." He whispered, gently grabbing your face for a passionate kiss. "I will always want you too."

He kept kissing you and for the first time in a while he didn't feel like time was rushing. He felt like he belonged on that moment. You, on the other hand, were getting a little impatient. You could feel his cock hardening again under you, and you craved it more than wanted to admit.

"Jake?" you whispered against his lips.

"I know, baby." He chuckled. "My girl needs a bit of attention, huh?"

"Yes, please..." you begged. "I'll take anything you give me, just... need your attention."

"My attention, little girl?" He asked sarcastically, picking you up from his lap and throwing you on the bed. "I know you better than that, think you need my cock."

You pressed your thighs together at his words. Big mistake. He forced them open, running his hand from your neck to your core. He had you bucking your hips at the mere contact of his hand over your clothes, and that made his confidence improve. Again, big mistake.

It's just that... you've been craving him all day, and the way there was still a wet patch of his cum on both of your clothes... it made you go feral.

He removed your pants, fingers rushing to rub your clit through your panties.

"No... no, Jake, please..." you tried to push his hand away.

"What's wrong, baby?" He asked, very confused. "I can fucking smell how wet you are."

"Exactly." You explained, still trying to push him away, but he kept teasing you. "Gonna cum so fast, I don't want to, I wanna ride you..."

"Fuck, baby..." he felt his cock throb at your words. "Will you be patient for me?"

"Don't want to..." you frowned.

"You don't want to?" He raised his eyebrows. "What do you want, then? To be a fucking brat? Tell you what... I'll only give you my cock if you cum first."

You moaned frustratedly as he pulled your underwear down. And moaned even louder when his tongue made contact with your core, diving into your wetness like he was tasting you for the first time. He devoured your pussy like he was trying to prove something to himself. But you were too lost in pleasure to worry about that. The noises, both coming from your wetness and from his mouth, cause he enjoyed eating you out just a little too much, were loud enough to make you feel like you had to scream.

"FUCK, I'M COMING, JAKE, I'M COMING RIGHT NOW, FUCK!"

And he didn't stop until you pushed his head with all the strength you had left.

"Good girl." He smirked. "Still wanna ride me? Or you're to tired?"

"Wanna ride you, give me a minute, fuck..." you shivered, just imagining something touching your sensitive pussy at that moment.

"Can't wait much, baby, I..." he seemed a little embarrassed. "Eating this gorgeous pussy got me too worked up..."

"Yeah?" You smirked. "Don't tell me you're gonna cum in your pants again... so pathetic..."

"Feeling brave, little girl?" He laughed darkly.

You didn't have an answer to that. And you didn't need one. He quickly flipped you over, giving your ass a loud slap.

You heard him undressing behind you, and got all excited. Ass in the air for him to use... except... he didn't. You heard him stroking himself. You looked back, begging him with your eyes.

But that only made him stroke himself faster, and you almost cried as you felt his cum painting your ass, without feeling an inch of his cock inside you.

"Next time you want something, you better be nice." He said, giving your ass another slap.

You were in shock. Wrecked and still wanting more.

"Now give this old man some rest." He said, grabbing your face and giving you a little kiss on the tip of your nose. "And if you behave, I might be nice too."

[auteurdelabre]

Something to Fight For (Series) Part 18 Joel Miller x f!Reader

Rating: 18+ THIS CHAPTER'S TRIGGER WARNINGS: Emotional Abuse, Childhood Trauma, Drug Addiction, Mentions of Death A/N: I rewrote this fucking chapter about 8 times. I'm still not sure how I feel about it. It was a real hard one to write, ya'll. A lot of my own shit is mixed up in there with the story. MC is part me after all (and part all of you). So it was hard. Harder than I think I expected it to be. So I dunno how it ended up. Couldn't re-read it too much. I really need your reviews on this one folks. It's real important to me, 'specially now. I need to know how you feel, the good and the bad. I gotta get this right.

Story Masterlist HERE

You're overcome. 

There's no other word for it. You've been sobbing in your shower for the last hour. After running from the barn, taking a taxi home and bursting into your suite you immediately fell to your knees, the warm water pelting down onto your back. 

It's as close to being held, at being soothed that you can manage right now. 

You can’t stop replaying tonight’s events. The song Joel chose. The one of longing and deep yearning. 

"She may be the reason I survive

The why and wherefore I'm alive

The one I'll care for through the rough and ready years"

But also of a love gone by. A regret.

"She may be the face I can't forget

A trace of pleasure or regret"

Is that how he views you? A love gone by?

Of course he does.

Paul's engagement ring is in the velvet box it came in. It's being returned tomorrow. You'd have done it tonight if it weren't so late. 

You need to end things. It's the only way forward. No matter what, no matter if Joel is in love with Tess, no matter if you'll never be with him, you *can't be with Paul. 

You don't love Paul. It's obvious to everyone including yourself. It's been obvious for so long. You've wasted so much fucking time and energy on him. 

You think of all the boxes packed here, the ones you were going to move to Leander. You think of how strange and sad it is that your whole life can be put into less than twenty cardboard boxes. 

And even though Joel can't be yours and even though that hurts more than words can begin to say, you are so fucking grateful for him. You are so grateful you met Joel Miller because he's shown you what love is. True, caring love. 

Even if it's not yours to keep. 

You will never forget the way he looked singing tonight. The goodbye song from his heart to yours. You'd felt it. The bittersweet finality of your time. 

More tears are coming. 

"I love him," you say to the tile in front of you. You need to hear the words spoken out loud in the universe, even if it's hidden in the fall of the shower and heard only by you. "I love Joel."

You need to see Joel. You need him to hold you. Need his calming presence. You need to wrap your arms around him and press your face into his neck and just feel breathe that sweet, spicy scent of home.

He's not yours.

You don't get to see Joel. You don't get to have him. He's Tess'. You can't be his friend, you want him too much. So what does that leave? 

That leaves you replaced and alone. 

You pull yourself from the shower, shivering as you towel off, drying your hair the best you can. You go to your dresser and pull out one of the few remaining pieces of clothing there. 

Joel's shirt. 

You've washed it so it doesn't smell like him anymore. Doesn't smell like the laundry detergent he uses or that wood shavings scent he sometimes carries. But when you put it on it feels like he's there in some small way. You pull it on over your sleep shorts hiccupping a soft cry. 

You remember so long ago, standing in Joel’s den as you pondered if he just played guitar or if he sang as well.

“S’weird how something can make you feel so good and then outta nowhere become the pain”

That’s how it feels now. Joel, the thing that makes you feel good has also become the pain. The wedding is tomorrow. You need to collect yourself by then. You'll see Joel and you need to be controlled. You need to be okay. You need to not ruin this for him. 

Because you do love Joel. You love him in a way you never expected to love or be loved. You love him so much that you are determined to make his life better. Determined that you will not take away what he has carved out for himself. 

You crawl under the covers, your face buried in the pillow. 

"I l-love Joel," you whisper it again into the pillow only now it's broken by sobs. You curl up under the covers, your body trembling. "I love him I love him." 

You feel lost. So hopelessly lost. 

And then the phone rings. 

///

It's late in the Miller house. Quiet. Sarah's been asleep for hours thanks to the sugar crash Bill's cupcakes provided. 

Tommy's asleep in the basement apartment, exhausted from the evenings festivities and anticipating a long day tomorrow. 

Or, as Joel glances over at the bright neon numbers of his digital clock, later today. 

He's laying in bed, one arm behind his head, one hand over his sternum as he stares at the ceiling. In this pose he feels every breath in, every breath out. The studying rhythm bringing him peace. It's impossible to shake the image of you free from his mind. 

He'd done it out of love for you. Out of a need for you to know how much you'd changed him. Changed his heart, his outlook, even his fucking idea on the concept of romantic love. 

But the look on your face? The way it had fallen before you had dashed out? 

Sarah had been bouncing up and down in her seat when he finished his performance, hugging him tightly and throwing things at him as he tried to contain his disappointment ("Daddy you sing so pretty!" And "Daddy will you teach me guitar?")  Everyone was clapping him on the back, telling him it was wonderful, so romantic, that Tommy and Maria loved it.

He refused to let his eyes search for you, knowing you were gone. He refused to let his heart believe that you'd come back. 

Joel knows he has to stay away from you.

Knows that singing tonight was a terrible idea because not only did he make it so obvious to everyone that he’s so deeply in love with you, but he also made you cry.

Watching your face crumple, watching the way your eyes fell to the ground at the last string. He’d thought you’d be happy singing, Maria had said how often you’d felt happy when you did. But that wasn’t happiness he saw tonight. It was pain.

Joel doesn’t know what to do. He feels so lost.

And then the phone rings.

///

"Joel, I need you."

Four little words over the phone at 2 am.  

Four little words that have Joel stumbling out of bed, murmuring he'll be there before he's pulling on his jeans and a t-shirt.

He's half asleep, his mind whirring. He goes to the basement, rapping on the door. An equally tired Tommy answers, blinking in the light. 

"She- I gotta go," Joel tries to explain in a rush. "I'll explain later. Can you come watch Sarah?"

Tommy gives a few bleary eyed blinks before nodding and following his brother up the steps. 

Tommy settles himself on the sofa as Joel runs out the door. And all the younger Miller can think before he falls asleep is:

Finally.

///

Joel's shoulders nearly take up the doorframe. You notice this when the rap of his knuckles pulls you sniffling from the sofa and you open the door to him. 

His eyes are sleepy, but wide. His hair is tousled from sleep and you can see the indent of his pillow faint in his left cheek. He scans your face, concerned.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm so sorry," you say as soon as Joel takes a step towards you. "I never should have called so late. I’m so so sorry, Joel." 

"Just let me in," Joel insists, his hand coming to go to your cheek and then dropping. He doesn’t want to overstep. "Tell me what happened."

You try to make the words come out; you force them crackling and trembling out into the world. 

"I don't want... I don't want to go back." 

Joel doesn't have any context, but that doesn't stop him from rushing in. He closes the door behind him gently before bringing you into his arms. Your forehead drops against his sternum as he does this, your tears warm and free flowing.

As he rubs a soothing hand along your spine he realizes you're wearing his t-shirt again. For some reason this small thing makes Joel's eyes wet. 

You're so warm in his arms, trembling against him as you hold in sobs. He wants to kiss away the tears rolling down your cheeks. He wants to carry you to bed and strip every bad memory and experience from you with his mouth and body.  

That's not what she needs right now. She needs a friend.

He takes your hand in his, leading you to the sofa. A place where you can talk. The fireplace is on, bathing you in a warm flickering glow that makes his breathing hitch when he glances over at you.  

Your eyes are puffy, your nose red and he thinks you might be the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. 

He can't help himself but reach for you, bringing you to his lap as he sits. There's nothing sexual about it, just the need to hold you close, to make you feel safe there. Your arms wrap around his neck and he rocks you, his arms banding around your waist. 

"Honey," Joel whispers into the crook of your neck. "What's wrong?" 

Honey.

You melt into him just as easily as the word. This was a terrible idea. What had you been thinking? How could you ask Joel here? 

Because of the song, your traitorous heart cries. Because you love him! Because his face is the first one you want to see!

You hold him tightly to you, unable to break from him just yet. Unable to tell him the awful ugliness. Instead your mind drifts to the rehearsal dinner. Your hand plays with the fabric of Joel's shirt, twisting it under your fingers. 

"Joel . . . The song."

Immediately he tenses and you can't see his face, but you can imagine it. Eyes nervous, mouth hooked slightly to the side. The same way he’d held his face that night in his den, your hand around a glass of soda.

"Maybe one day we'll have reason to make music again.”

Joel smiles softly around his glass. "Maybe."

"Did you like it?" he murmurs into your hair. You can't help but hold him tighter, your eyes filling. He sounds so unsure of himself, so worried about what you’ll say.

"Yeah, I loved it. It was beautiful."

You feel him physically relax in your arms at this admission. The tension, the uncertainty is drained from him. You force yourself not to tilt your face to his, not to search for his mouth with yours. 

"I thought you didn't play anymore,” you tell his shoulder.  

"I don't. One time performance I guess. Shoulda charged for tickets." 

There, the humor you both needed to break the intense spell that weaves itself when you're in Joel's arms. You're thankful to him for that. Now you can pull back, still seated in his lap, but in control of yourself. 

"I hope you keep playing forever."

Joel smiles wistfully at you, nodding.  You let his dark eyes search your face. You let his hand cup your cheek, his wide thumb brushing away the tears there.

"I never told you about why I went back to Chicago," you sniffle. "Why I didn't call."

"You don't have to tell me," Joel insists. "It doesn't change why I'm here. I'll stay here all night just holdin' you if it's what you need." 

He doesn't want to push you, doesn't want you upset because of him. This time in Chicago, the separation, it feels like an ugly part of your shared history that he just wants you both to forget. 

"No, I want to tell you," you say in a sorrowful voice. "You deserve to know everything."

Joel nods and he wants to keep you there in his lap. But you shuffle back from him, sitting across from him on the sofa. It takes several minutes of staring into the flames of the fire before you feel you can begin. 

"My dad has been in and outta the hospital a lot," you explain, looking at your hands in your lap. "It's because he's waiting for a liver transplant."

Joel is shocked. The way you spoke of Chicago, of your family, he'd assumed your father was dead. 

"The thing is," you continue, unaware of his shock. "He can't get one unless he stops using and, uh, he won't." 

"Using?" Joel is still taken aback by the revelation, not thinking clearly. 

"Coke and heroin mostly," you say with a wince. "He's a drug addict."

Your father has been a junkie for most of your life.

And it's in part because you exist. 

The same year you were born he'd gone to a party without your mom. She was tired, still breastfeeding you and encouraged him to go out and have some fun. 

He did. 

The kind of fun that had started as a party drug passed around and ended with him burning through the family savings and growing gaunt in the coming years. The kind of fun that had him doing eight balls during your soccer games and shooting up on your graduation day. 

You were four when he first went into rehab at the insistence of your mother. A few weeks before your fifth birthday he'd come home sober and ready to change his life back around. You hadn't really understood what was happening. You'd just been so happy to be a family again.

That photo on your desk, the one the flood destroyed, the one that meant so much to you is from the only birthday party of yours that your father ever attended sober. 

In the passing years he turned to drugs again but he hid it well from you and your mother. You never knew the severity of it until you turned fifteen.  

Until you came home one day from your part time job at the Chicago humane shelter to find him covered in piss and his own vomit and barely responsive. 

He died on his way to the hospital, a full forty two seconds he was clinically dead. Until they revived him and he sputtered back to life. You remember all of this because it was you in the ambulance with him. 

Your mother was at work, unreachable. Your dad's sporadic unemployment meant she worked two jobs. 

So it was a fifteen year old you with tears running down her cheeks that watched this unfold, completely terrified. 

You were sixteen when he got out of rehab for the second time and promised his life was changed forever. He and your mother had almost two years of no fighting - a change of pace for you who had grown up to their constant shouting matches. 

You were eighteen when he relapsed at a friend's house party. Twenty two and twenty five when he went back to the various rehabs that your mother always paid for in more ways than one.  

And then he just stopped trying in the coming years. Still using, but not enough for your sweet mother to kick him out. 

It's like he's infected by some insidious being inside him. A forever hungry thing that takes and takes, warping your once sweet father into something subhuman. A being that is frighteningly underweight, hollowing his cheeks and making his eyes bulbous in his face. He isn't your father anymore, not really. 

But he is. That's the worst part.

Because if he wasn't your Dad you could hate him.

You tell Joel all of this, it spills from you like a stream and he sits across from you, nodding and never speaking. When your voice hitches or the tears begin fresh he instinctively moves towards you on the sofa, stopped only by your raised palm. You need to get all of this out and if he holds you, you never will. 

"That night you left, like, two hours later my mom called me to tell me that my dad had a really bad seizure," You shake your head, wanting to stop the memory. "And she sounded so scared on the phone and I just had to get back. I had to get there, back home to help. I was on autopilot."

Joel recalls the hollow look in your eyes when he went to see you that day.

"I know you came to see me but I don't even remember it," you tell Joel. "All I could think of was that I fucked up, that I should have been there in Chicago with my mom." 

Joel is stiff, watching you without speaking. 

"And I got home and it was just as awful as I thought it would be." You start to shudder at the memory. "My dad could barely talk. And when he did all he wanted to do was blame me for leaving. Telling me I was selfish for leaving my mom and him. Telling me that without me around to help pay for things that there was more pressure on him and my mom to afford their place."

You break off only to hold in a sob, breathing deeply and continuing. 

"And he was right, you know. Coming to Austin for school was so selfish of me. I could've just as easily gone to school back in Chicago." A look of disgust crosses your features as you talk now to yourself. "So fucking selfish."

"No," Joel's voice is quiet but firm. "That's not true."

You're ignoring him though, so caught up in your own devastation. Your eyes are shut tightly and your head is giving short jerks. 

"I just run from everything, Joel. I ran from Chicago and I ran to Austin because I thought that if I kept running far away enough that, that his ugliness could never touch me. But it lives in me, Joel. That ugliness is in me forever." 

Joel's eyes have grown glassy, even now he remains sitting there looking at you with unending patience and his hands twitching to hold you. 

"I stayed there for a month,” you continue, not even aware that your head is tilted so low Joel has to lean forward to hear. “A month of my dad telling me I was selfish. A month of my mom trying to tell me that it's just his disease talking. A month of seeing your name come up on my phone and wanting so badly to talk to you but just thinking about how horrible I was and how you and Sarah deserved better."

You force yourself to breathe between sentences, your air hitching in your chest.  Joel is staring at you, his eyes swimming over your features. Horrible? You?

"So when I eventually got back to Austin I was just so fucking sad, Joel. So tired. I couldn't get out of bed. I didn't want to be around anyone. Not you, not Sarah. I couldn't do that to you guys." You swipe at your eyes with the wrist of your sweater. "I should have called you and seen you but I was so selfish only thinking about me and how I felt.

Your eyes jerk open when you feel the warmth of Joel's hand on yours. He's leaning across the sofa, his wide hand placed gently over yours. A thumb gently strokes your knuckles. 

"No," Joel breathes in a voice of gentle warmth. "Never selfish. Never. It was me that fucked up."

"No."

"Yes," Joel tells you and you can see the way his dark eyes are damp. "You are the least selfish person I've ever met."

"Oh yeah?" you challenge, your chin wobbling. "You know why I called you tonight? Because my mom just called to beg me to come home again. Apparently my dad's saying that if I move back to Chicago that he'll go to treatment again. That he'll stop using. That he'll be able to get the transplant."

Joel's eyes widen but he remains silent. 

"And I don't want to go," you say, lips trembling. "I don't want to go back there. I don't want to fucking go even if it would mean helping because I'm a horrible, selfish cunt."

The sobs that burst out of you are pure anguish that you muffle in a pillow to keep Maria from hearing all those floors above. Joel is physically holding himself back, dying to embrace you but giving you your space.

 All he can do is stroke your head, desperate to convey all of his care and affection for you through the gesture. 

"He was always promising he was going to get clean," you say hollowly, moving away from the pillow and Joel's touch. "And my mom, she just, she just kept carrying on like there was hope. But there is no hope. Just this endless, bleak, fucking pain."

Your eyes meet his and you're overcome. You stand abruptly, feeling the scrutiny of Joel as sharply as if he were stabbing you.

"Joel, just go. I'm sorry I called. This was a terrible idea to have you come here. This isn't your problem. I'm so fucking sorry."

Joel stands and for a moment you think he's going to leave. You think that might be a relief because you're feeling too vulnerable, too exposed. 

You aren't expecting Joel to quietly close the distance between your bodies and wordlessly pull you into his arms. You're shocked more however at how willingly you allow this, how easy it is to fall back into his embrace. To tangle your arms around his neck and hold him as tightly as you can. He's warm against you, his cheek resting on the top of your head as you press your face to his shoulder.

"I hate him. I hate what he put my mom and me through." Your chin is trembling as you blink back the onslaught of more tears. "And I hate that I love him so much because he's my fucking dad."

Your hands are gripping Joel around the middle as he holds you, his broad shoulders curling, his arms tightening.

"I hate that I just want him to die," you cry through clenched teeth. "To stop holding on. To bring my mother some fucking peace."

More tears come. 

Joel thinks of James and the cocaine and how upset you'd been. He'd thought you were justified in the way you'd acted, the heated punch across James slimy face for treating you so rudely. But now he realizes why you'd been shamed, so terrified of your own fury.

"And I hate that I'm just like him."

You break off as Joel's large hand is cupping the back of your head, and he's gently swaying you, the way a mother would a newborn. 

"It's okay," Joel murmurs in your hair. "I've got you. I've got you."

You don't know why, but this quiet utterance from him is that breaks you, and the wall against him that you've built so high for yourself collapses. Heavy sobs break free from you, stark mournful things that you muffle in Joel's shoulder. They make your body jerk, causing Joel to hold you tighter against him.

"Shhh," Joel soothes. "Just breathe, baby. Slowly, like me."

He takes a few steadying breaths, urging you to match the slow pace. After a few shuddering exhales you do so, your breathing staggering into a steady, even rhythm. 

"Good," Joel whispers. "Good."

"I'm just like him," you again whisper the words you've only ever thought into Joel's collar. "I'm selfish and horrible and -"

"You're nothing like that," Joel assures you, pulling you back so that he can look into your eyes when he tells you this. "Not at all."

"Really? What do you call what we did in your kitchen?" You scoff. "Knowing that we were with other people? Or how about when you pushed me up against that wall over there?"

Joel is silent, only his eyes move around your face while the rest of him is like a statue. He doesn't need to look at the wall to know what you're talking about. 

"I can't stop wanting you," you say with a look of torment in your eyes. "I can't fucking stop, Joel. I try and I try and I can't. I'm just like my dad. I want what I shouldn't. I want what's only going to hurt other people and hurt myself."

"Honey-"

"I can't stop," you repeat weakly, trying to step back from him. "So I have to stay away." 

Joel hands are on either side of your face again and he's peppering your face with soft kisses and everything in you wants to rejoice because Joel is here and he's holding you. 

"Don't stay away from me," Joel's tells you as he rains compassion down on you. "Never."

You can't keep him. He's not yours.

Both of you are being incredibly selfish right now. Tess is probably at home right now taking care of Sarah and Daniel. Tess who was made to be a mother. Tess who understands Joel. What is wrong with you? 

Selfish.

Horrible. 

"Stop, Joel," you say twisting from him, out of his grip. "I told you all of this so that you can understand why I won't be around as much. But I'll call Sarah every other night, if she still wants to speak to me. And when I come back for visits I'll take her to the movies and-"

It's like Joel is only just now noticing all the moving boxes. He's glancing around as you talk, his eyes widening.

"You're not actually thinking of moving back to Chicago," Joel interrupts in a horrified voice. "You can't be."

"Just for a few months, just until he's settled in rehab-"

"No," Joel is wild-eyed shaking his head, his eyebrows saddling. "You can’t. You just. . . You can’t do this. You can’t sacrifice everything. Your work - that sanctuary. You won’t come back. I know you, you’ll feel like you have to take care of your dad. You’ll stay there."

"It's complicated-"

"It's not." 

"Joel, my dad needs me."

"That was a horrible thing to lay on your shoulders," Joel says and he looks furious and sad all at once. "And I'm sorry for your parents, I really am, but no. You can't go. You can't do this to yourself."

"I have to go," you tell Joel. You falter, pulling back from him, needing to be out of his orbit. 

Joel stands there as you pull back from him, looking so out of place in your suite with its low ceilings, the space almost emptied of furniture. He’s like this beam you can’t look away from, this tall broad angel with eyes that look at you as if you’re actually worth something.

He breaks off, uttering a pained "Jesus Christ" and you're sure he's going to yell at you about Paul just like Maria did. 

You’re sure he’ll run from the room shouting that you’re selfish. Positive that he’ll tell you that you’re not worth all this hassle.

Instead Joel does something you're not expecting. 

He crosses the room over to you and slips to his knees, holding you around the middle before he presses his forehead gently against your abdomen. It shocks you, this action and this pose from him. He sits like this in silence for several minutes, holding you, breathing against you in heavy shudders. Your hands are on his broad shoulders, glancing down at him in confusion. 

"I'm so sorry," he finally whispers, a little murmur against you. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there."

"I didn't need you to be," you insist, your hand going to his neck, urging his face up to look at you. He won't move his face from where it is lodged against your stomach. He can’t.

"But I should have been," Joel insists, his voice a low rasp. 

“It was so long ago.”

Almost six months since the awful incident. And you don’t carry it with you, not like Joel apparently has because now his head tilts back from your abdomen.

"I never should have walked away that day. I should have stayed. If I had none of this Tess and Paul shit would have happened. I would’ve gone back with you to Chicago." Joel's voice sounds thick with escaping emotion. "I ruined us." 

His beautiful eyes open and you watch as tears slip down his cheek. You suppose that's what makes you freeze up, your heart sinking. You've never seen Joel cry before and the sight is as shocking as it is heartbreaking. 

"Forgive me," he whispers brokenly. "Please."

You can see the anguish in his features and realize he's been living in it since you got back. This hellish landscape of grief and regret. He's been wearing it like armor weighing him down.

"Nothing to forgive," you tell him honestly, your knuckles trailing down his cheek to wipe the tears away. "Joel it was never a matter of fault. It was just how things happened."

His head drops against your stomach again and you can feel his strong shoulders begin to quake jerkily.

"I was fucking weak."

"You were human," you reply, rubbing at his shoulders, wanting to soothe him as much as he wants to soothe you. "You couldn't have known." 

"I just left you there, all hollow and quiet and I walked away," Joel's voice is ragged. "I should have stayed. That's what you do when you love someone."

Love.

It hits you with a strong, visceral acuity. Starting in your rib cage and then spreading outward, causing everything in your body to wake up.  It makes you breathless to hear it, though you've long suspected it, secretly hoped for it.

"Joel-"

"I'll never stop being sorry for it," Joel tells you simply, his face tilting up to look into yours. "Never."

Without thinking your hand is gently carding through his tousled curls. His eyes shutter closed as he leans into your hands. The moment is overwhelming in austerity and you need to break it. 

"Not even if I asked nicely?" you say with a teasing lilt to your voice.

His eyes open and he gives you a small, watery smile before he stands. He towers over you again, taking your face in his wide hands and now it’s you leaning into his touch.  

"I'd do anything you asked."

And all at once you know he's going to kiss you and that you want him to. 

He tilts his head forward and lips move over yours so gently that you sigh into his mouth. Your entire body sags towards him and instead of the fervent kisses from not that long ago, this kiss is different. It’s soft and sweet and unhurried. His soft lips move over yours, taking time to memorize how your pliant mouth moves under his, the way you inhale softly when you break apart, his wide hands still cupping your face.

Tess.

Marmalade.

Selfish.

"I'm sorry I called," you sniff, tilting your face from him. "I never should have done that. You should go, Joel." 

"You want me to go?" Joel's voice is a low aching sound. You can't look at him. You can't look into those intense, beautiful eyes of his so instead you face away from him. 

"Yes."

You feel yourself floundering, that unmistakable voice in your head screaming to run. Run from the conflict. Run from your feelings.

Run. Run.

"You're lyin'," Joel insists. 

"I'm not."

You feel his strong fingers on either side of your chin, dragging your face to meet his. But still your eyes remain closed.

"Look at me."

You shake your head the best that you can in his grip. 

"I can't have you here, Joel. I'm sorry I called you, it was wrong.”

Joel's hand is flying to slide around the back of your neck. "Stop."

"You’re with Tess," you insist with a shake of your head, pulling back from his sweet touch. "She's perfect for you. She'll make the best mom to Sarah. It makes sense, Joel. You have to see that."

"I broke it off with Tess," Joel bites off.  “I don’t want Tess.”

Your eyes fly open."What?"

"How could I keep dating her? I knew I couldn't stop wanting you. I never will." Joel feels his neck growing warm. "And she told me what she asked you to do, to stay away from Sarah."

You nod brokenly, feeling the tears gathering just at the memory compounded by this new guilt.

"Why would you do that?"

"Because I just want what's best for you and Sarah. A chance at a real family."

You've ruined this for him. Joel's chance at a family, something for himself. Something for his own.  Selfish like your dad.

"Go back to Tess, Joel. Tell her it was a mistake."

"I'm not gonna do that."

"You have to, Joel. She wants you."

“And you don’t?”

It hangs there, the truth between you. If you admit it, it’s over. Any pretense you would have carried is gone. He’ll choose you because of this unknowable, untenable connection. But you’re not good for him. You’re not the kind of woman Joel Miller needs. You’ll take and take from him, leaving him with nothing in the end. It’s how your father operates, and you are your father’s daughter. Your engagement isn't even officially off. You're moving to Chicago. So what? You'll confess you love Joel? Make him feel compelled to follow you to Chicago? And what about Sarah? You're going to disrupt her life too? How is that not the most selfish thing in the world?

“No.”

Saying it physically hurts.

You love Joel. You love this man in front of you. And it’s precisely that love that sends you pushing back from him. But you’re stopped by his hand on the back of your neck again, holding you there.

"Don't," Joel says through clenched teeth."Don't stand there and lie to me of all people. You wanna lie to yourself? Fine, but not to me. Never to me. I don’t deserve it."

It is. It is a fucking lie.

"Tell me the truth," Joel urges gently, pleading. "Tell me to my face that you don't want me as much as I want you.”

You try to form the words that tell him exactly that, but you can't.

They don't exist. 

Joel nods in understanding, his warm eyes even warmer. But he can see the fear in your expression, the panic. 

"Just let me take care of you tonight," Joel whispers, his thumb stroking your cheek. "Please." 

You're trembling against his palm, tears coating your lashes.��"Okay."

Joel seems surprised by your easy acceptance but he nods, reaching down to take your hand in his. 

"Let's go to bed."

You follow him without question to the bed. He shrugs off his jacket, watching you watching him. You're eyes are owlish in your face, the tension clear. Joel brings himself up on the bed still dressed in his jeans and shirt. He lays overtop the sheet before bringing it back for you to crawl under. 

You hesitate. There is nothing more enticing than the thought of Joel making love to you right now. But it feels wrong, rushed. Too many things going on in your mind.

"I just wanna hold you," Joel explains when he sees your eyes nervously move from him to the bed. "If that's okay?"

Relief floods you and you nod, moving under the covers of your bed. And all the aching loneliness, all the terror of being lost? It’s gone. It’s gone the second you snuggle up against Joel in your bed.

His broad hand moves through your hair gently, moving it back from your flushed face before stroking it in tenderly. He stares at you, barely blinking. You muse that you could have entire conversations like this, just staring into each other's eyes. That perhaps you're having one right now. 

His eyes are so soft. How can a man made up of sharp angles and broad planes look at you with eyes so fucking soft? 

"How can you look at me like that?" you ask blinking through new tears. "After everything I've told you how can you lie there and look at me like I'm not a piece of shit?"

"Because you're not," Joel replies swiftly. "None of what your dad did is your fault. How could it be?"

"If I was there-"

"He'd still be using," Joel tells you simply. "And he'd have a new thing or person to blame for it."

"Even if that's true," you insist. "I'm his kid. I should go back."

"You're telling me if I told a grown up Sarah she had to move back home to take care of me, even if I'd barely been in her life, even if she had a whole life somewhere else, you'd tell her she was selfish for not doing it?"

Your eyes widen. Sarah. Sweet, genuine Sarah. No, you wouldn't blame her. But that's Sarah.

"She's just a kid-"

"Same age as when your dad started." Joel's eyes are watery. "How come you're so unkind to yourself? Why don't you think you deserve good things?"

"A lifetime of experience," you reply darkly.

///

And for a moment there is sudden clarity for Joel that hits him in such a way he's shocked he never understood it as easily before. 

In the job you chose, in the immediately natural way you were with the screaming Daniel, even quicker than you were with his sweet and calm Sarah.  

In the way these animals, hurt and abandoned and ignored are so much more than just pitiful creatures that pass along your desk in files. 

You see yourself in them. 

You see yourself in their haunted eyes and terrible histories. You see it in the plaintive cry of the frustrated Daniel. In this world that turns its back and its ears to them you want desperately to embrace them, to hold them to you and communicate a perfect, unending love for them.

Because no one did that for you. 

Your mom tried, Joel is sure of it. But love is hard to share when so much of it is reserved for a husband in constant crisis. When you're a frazzled mother working two jobs to keep your mortgage and your marriage and family together. Love is there of course, but it's not overt. Not like you crave. 

The kind of love that Maria gives you without question. The kind of love Joel would give to you every fucking day if you said you wanted him to be yours.

"I know I have no right to ask you to stay or demand anything from you, but, fuck, please don't do this," Joel whispers earnestly. "Don't move back to Chicago." 

You're silent. 

“If you do you’ll never come back,” Joel murmurs, his voice full of so many emotions it would be impossible to pick just one. “I know you. You’d sacrifice everything for him.”

“I. . . I don’t. . .”

Your eyes are so heavy, almost as heavy as your heart. You’ve shared so much with Joel, brought up so many painful memories it feels like you’ve run a marathon. Your head tilts against the pillow.

"Go to sleep, baby," Joel tells you, holding himself back from kissing you. "I'm here. Just sleep."

When you finally fall asleep Joel continues to look at you. His dark eyes travel the curve of your cheek, takes in the length of your lashes and the way your mouth looks half open in sleep. He memorizes each part of your face knowing that this may be his only chance to do so. 

You’re engaged. You still have that connection to your parents in Chicago. There is so much that exists in this world to take you away from him. 

He still sees it this way, outside forces wanting to rip you from him, as if he has some claim on you. He doesn't care if Paul gave you a ring. You’re his. You’re his and he has never stopped feeling this way, even though he's tried. He doesn't know he'll ever stop. 

He stops himself from kissing your sleeping mouth on more than one occasion during the night, desperate for that contact if this is really the end. 

It can't be the end. It can't.

You sigh in your sleep, shuffling closer against him for warmth or for comfort. Joel allows this, his eyes skipping closed at the calm your nearness brings him. 

I'll never ask for anything as long as I live. Just let her be mine.

He finally falls asleep with your soft breathing in the crook of his neck

[bigification]

Giant

I drift away to sleep laying on the hot sand and bathing in the sunlight. I feel relaxed for a moment until I'm thrust into a nightmare. I find myself at my desk, wasting away for a job that I hate. The only reason I went on this vacation is to escape, but no matter what I do I end up back in the same place. This nightmare seems different to the rest, it's so loud. Usually all I can hear is keys tapping and clocks ticking, but now there is another noise. It's... screaming. It's getting louder and louder, the sound of people screaming.

I jolt awake. The screaming was coming from real life. I sit up and see dozens of people running away from the beach. What the hell is going on. Some part of me wants to just go back to sleep, but if this many people are running maybe I should too. I begin to grab some of my stuff and get up to leave, but I'm stopped by what feels like an earthquake. I turn to the shoreline and see a giant beast emerge from the water. It looks human, but unless my eyes deceive me, he must be at least 50 feet tall.

The beast approaches the beach, I know I should run but my body won't let me move. I also notice I'm the only one left on the beach, everyone else has run. He steps onto the beach, the closer he gets, the more I realize how massive he actually is. Soon he's standing right in front of me, and I have to look straight up just to see his face. He reaches down and grabs me, holding nearly my entire body in just one hand. I try to scream, but there's no use now, all my screams will be muffled in the beasts hand.

I can't see much, so I spend the next few minutes trashing about until I have no energy left. It doesn't seem to be making a difference anyway. After what feels like a couple of minutes, the beast stops moving. I get gently laid down on the floor, and get a chance to look around at the expansive room around me. It looks like a normal house, just massive. It makes me feel like a tiny ant. As I'm taking in the scenery, I bump into something soft. I turn to see a massive leg in front of me. My eyes drift upward to see a massive man standing in front of me, he must have been the height of the man that brought me here, just a lot fatter. I shield my eyes from the man's massive cock, and look past his round gut to see the man looking down at me.

"Watch where you're going pipsqueak!" The giant says in a deep voice. I lost my balance as his receding steps shook the ground below me.

"Don't mind him, he's always in a bad mood." The giant who brought me here kneeled down to talk to me.

"Does anyone wear clothes around here?" I ask in return.

"Were not savages, we try to if we can come across clothes large enough. I know this might seem frightening, but you and I are more similar than you think."

"Why did you even bring me here?" I say confused.

"Come, walk with me, I'll explain." He says as I start to follow him, though it takes me a few minutes to cover the ground he can in one step so he walks slow.

"My name is Yusef, by the way." The giant says.

"I'm Jack." I reply.

"A long time ago, a settlement of humans came across a forest while hunting. This forest contained food with mystical properties that provided the humans with far more energy than they needed. The humans obviously took advantage of this to prevent their people from starving. Over time, their bodies started to grow larger than that of normal humans due to the food. Eventually they became a whole new species called 'Giants'." Yusef monologues. "The only problem is that only the men of that settlement grew, the women remained normal humans. This meant that the Giants could not reproduce. So out of desperation, they would find other humans and turn them into giants to keep their species alive. We are what's left of those giants."

"So... You want to turn me into a giant?" I ask, still trying to process the entire story.

"Yes." He responds bluntly.

We both walk in silence for a moment as I process the situation.

"Ok, I want to be a giant." I say confidently.

"What? Humans usually aren't so eager." He questions.

"My life back home sucked, I have nothing , I have no one. At least here I'll have something."

He smiled before pointing to the room beside us. "This is the most recent giant before you, Antony." Yusef points to a man sleeping on the couch.

"He's been asleep for a while now. The last feast really took a toll on him." He states.

"Feast?" I ask.

"You need a lot of calories when your body is that big, so we fatten up the Giants as much as we can."

"Well what about you, you're not fat."

"I stay fit because I am the one who has to get new giants like you, I need to be a bit more nimble than the average giant. For the rest of us, it's better to keep a hefty store of energy. You should have seen Antony here when he was human. He was built like me, big shoulders and skinny waist, washboard abs. He's only been here three days and now look at him."

As he's talking, I look down at my own body. Now I'm no Yusef, but I've worked hard for my body. Maybe I could be like Yusef and stay skinny. As I'm thinking, I notice Antony's hand move. "Are you sure he's asleep, his hand is moving." I ask.

"Oh he's asleep, he's just getting used to having the sex drive of a giant." He responds.

I notice that his hand is moving back and forth over his dick. "That kinda sucks for a species that can't reproduce." I say.

"It's not so bad, we like to have fun with it." Yusef turns to another giant and winks at him. "Lookin good Pete!" He shouts at the giant. Pete looks back and smiles before going back to checking himself out in the mirror.

I fall silent again, coming to another realization. I didn't think about it before but, if there are only male giants, then who do they fuck. Well I just got my answer, they fuck eachother. What do I do if I'm not gay. I mean with the amount of men they turn into giants, there's no way I'm the first straight guy they get. Maybe they just get so bored that they fuck eachother because there's nothing else to do. It's no big deal, I could just not have sex, it's like I was having much sex back home either. Besides, I'm sure they still have porn here, I won't be completely out of luck.

"And we've made it." Yusef says as he stops and turns to me. "This is where you become a giant."

I look around the empty room. "Why this room?"

"It's empty because the transformation can be quite jarring, so it is safe to be in an empty room."

"Jarring?" I ask, concerned.

"Well we'll give you a concentrated version of the food from the mystical forest I mentioned earlier. It speeds up the transformation to happen in mere minutes rather than months. Not all parts of the body grow at the same pace."

Before I can even process, Yusef grabs me and shoves a large green pellet into my mouth. "Swallow." He states. I swallow it, trying to ignore the disgusting taste.

It doesn't take long for the food to take its effect, and it's not subtle. It starts with my arms. My biceps become massive, growing larger than my head. Next to transform was unfortunately my dick. The pressure in my pants builds until they burst open, leaving me naked. My dick quickly grows out of proportion with my body, growing to the point that it hits the ground. It is even thicker than my legs, making me look like I have a third leg.

"I told you it could be jarring." Yusef said with a slight smirk on his face.

"Don't fucking look." I yell out.

"Oh don't be so uptight, I'm just enjoying the show." He laughs.

I can feel myself growing tall as my perspective gets higher and higher. Soon I can feel my ass grow massive as my stomach grows into a muscle gut, making it hard to keep my balance. The next few minutes are completely insane as different parts of my body grow out of proportion. Soon enough, I see that my eyes are at about the same height as Yusefs, meaning the transformation must be over soon. I finally feel the transformation stop as I'm a few feet taller than Yusef. I'm completely naked, tired, and my body is covered in sweat.

"Here dry off." Yusef throws me a towel. "Oh, and I'm glad you're happy to see me." He winks at me before looking down at my crotch. I look down and see that my dick is fully hard, sticking straight out. I jump and cover my crotch, he just chuckles and walks away.

I dry up and walk out of the room where I find a pair of cargo pants. I slip them on and they fit surprisingly well, I try my best to tuck my boner into the waist of the shorts, but it's not doing much to hide it. I walk around, getting used to the way my body moves. It's much harder to move at the same pace I did before, everything is so heavy that it takes more effort to start and stop moving. And it feels like the air is holding me back, almost like walking in water.

I make my way to the balcony and sit down. The view is quite beautiful from here. In one direction there is a lush swamp and the other is a forest. It's weird that the trees look so small, the tallest ones look like they would barely reach my waist. As I'm enjoying the view, Yusef approaches me. As he's talking to me, it's going in one ear and going right out the other.

"My eyes are up here buddy." He says, snapping me back to reality where I notice I was staring at his chest. I look up and make eye contact with him.

"Have this." He hands me what looks like a phone. "It's a smart tv. Jerry's quite good with electronics and whipped up some phones made from old smart TV's."

"Thanks." I say as I hold the tiny tv in my hand.

"It can do basically anything a phone can other than texting, but we use WhatsApp anyway." He says before turning and walking away. I catch myself staring at him as he walks away, but quickly turn my focus to my new phone. It feels just like a phone, with a touch screen and everything. It has a few apps installed, including twitter and it gives me an idea. I log into my account and scroll through the porn I had saved on it. I scroll and scroll, but I feel nothing. Not until I get to a clip I had saved from pornhub. That got me going. My legs tensed and my dick pulsed. Within seconds I shot my load into my new cargo shorts. As I continue to watch, I notice something. I haven't looked at the woman in this clip once, I have been fixed on the man the entire time. But I've never been gay. I scroll through the many videos and images of women on my twitter and I still feel nothing. Out of curiosity I decide to search for pictures of men. Who's a guy everyone seems to like, oh Chris Evans. I search him up and go to photos. Oh my god. My stomach sinks and my dick rises the instant I look at the photo. What happened to me? I look at all the half naked Giants that walk past the balcony, and it confirms the way I feel. Even weirder is my fixation on their fat. I can't stop staring at their guts and they man tits, or their asses as they walk by. Suddenly the thought of growing like the rest of the Giants doesn't seem so bad.

"You okay?" I'm interrupted by Yusef.

"Ya I'm fine." I try to cover the stain in my shorts.

"Well that didn't take you long." He chuckles, "There is someone you need to meet.

"Oh ya sure." I say while paying no attention to what he is saying. The pecs on that man are unreal, how does a man get pecs that large.

I follow Yusef to what looks like the kitchen and he sits me down. "This is Saul." Yusef says as a man in a bathrobe approaches me. He leans over the table in front of me and gets a closer look at me. He looks older, with salt and pepper hair and wrinkled skin. His robe is loosely tied, letting his hairy gut spill out and allowing me to see his soft chest.

"You always bring me the skinniest ones." Saul says. His eyes drift up and down my body as he pokes and grabs me. "I know exactly what you could use." He says as he walks into the pantry.

"What is he doing." I ask Yusef.

"He's our cook. Just eat whatever he gives you, he has been cooking for us for hundreds of years, so he knows what he's doing." He responds.

"Hundreds of years!?" I yell out in shock.

"Oh ya, I forgot to mention that. We live for centuries, and the food he gives you is essential to that."

Saul comes back with a full platter of food and places it in front of me. "Eat." He tells me as he stands there and watches. I think back to when I was sitting on the balcony, watching all of the fatass giants walking by. I want that. I started stuffing my mouth with all the food on the platter he gave me. His food tasted amazing. You'd think I was starving with the way I was ravaging this food. Before I knew it, the platter was empty. I lean back and pat my bloated stomach with one hand and rub my crotch with the other.

"I like this one." Saul says before running off to the pantry again.

"That was so good." I turn to Yusef.

"Good, there's a lot more to come. You may think you're full, but you can fit a lot more food in you than you think." He responds.

Rounds and rounds of food go by, and I just keep going. I don't even know how long it's been, I just keep eating. I eventually lean back in my chair, defeated. My eyes start to close as I fall asleep.

"He's eaten the most out of any giant I have even seen." I hear Saul say as I'm passing out

"You think he's gonna be bigger than Grant?" Yusef responds.

"Much bigger." Is the last thing I hear before passing out.

- Many days later -

"This is the giant before you." Yusef says.

"Am I gonna be that fat." I hear from an unfamiliar voice.

"No he's the biggest we've ever seen."

I slowly open my eyes and try to lean up, but I feel like I'm being held down. I look down and see a massive mound of fat. Wait, that's me, that's my stomach. I reach out my hands and see the fat sagging in my arms. I cup my pecs in my thick hands, though I'm not sure you could call them pecs anymore. They're so fat that they sag onto my stomach. Speaking of my stomach, I grab it, sending ripples through my body. I can feel it spilling out onto my legs.

"Jack, you're finally awake." Yusef says. "This is our soon to be giant."

I sit up as far as I can and look down at the tiny human. I can't help but wonder what I look like from his perspective.

Once they leave, Antony approaches me.

"Damn you got fat." I say to him. Since the last time I saw him sleeping on the couch, he's gained a ton of weight. His modest belly turned into a full blown beer gut and his pecs are now soft man tits like mine.

"Coming from you fatass." He laughs at me. "You're the biggest slab of meat we've ever seen."

He continues to approach me, and I can see his bulge grow in his tight ass jeans.

"All the Giants here are so boring, they never want to fuck. But I know you feel different, don't you." He sits on my lap, spreading his legs around mine and resting our guts against each other. "Think about what we looked like just a week ago. Strong, with big biceps and washboard abs, now look what they've done to us." He almost moans while saying it. "Isn't it so hot." He pushes me into my back, making me feel the full weight of my own body pinning me down. He starts kissing my chest, sucking on my new fat. He kisses down my hulking gut, leaving a trail of hickies. He lifts up my belly and sticks his head underneath, he pushes my fat pad and wraps his lips around my dick. I let out a loud moan, slightly embarrassed when I realize everyone in the house could hear that. It doesn't matter, I turn my attention back to Antony. My knees buckle from the pleasure as I hold his head against my crotch. I let out another loud moan as I pump my load into his mouth. He looks up at me, "my turn." He says with his mouth dripping with cum. He spreads my legs and sticks his dick inside me. My body almost repels at the feeling, but I quickly accept it. I never thought something up my ass could feel so good. He starts to speed up, becoming more and more aggressive. I can see the ripples run through the fat in our bodies and I can hear the couch groan under our combined weight. It doesn't take long for a warm feeling to fill my insides. Antony lets out a satisfied sigh as he sits back onto the couch.

"You know I was kinda scared about this whole 'becoming a giant' thing, but now I'm a lot more excited." He says as he rests his hand on his gut. "You know being a fat ass is a lot better than I thought it would be."

I chuckle, "ya it ain't so bad is it." I lay back on the couch and relax, having no worries to stress me out.

[wyuovvia]

— SUCH A SWEET BOY <3

Choso Kamo x Trans Male Y/N || Content Warnings: minor writing smut, nsfw, reposted off my old account (@ballsinyojaws2000), bondage, overstimulation, gags, grinding, hickeys, nipple play, riding, creampie, edging, domtop y/n & subbot choso, rest of writing under cut || Word Count: 1,277 || Followers When Posted: 36 ||Author's Note: very sleepy when posted

ALBUM ENTRY!: Sweet boy Choso wants to cum so bad! But in the end, only good boys get to cum, right?~ He's been edged for so long, he deserves a reward! And you're gonna give it to him. WYOVVIA 2024!

Choso has been tied up for what feels like forever now. He was completely naked as his wrists were tied together and attached to the headboard, his ankles were also tied together, and on top of that there was a fucking ball gag in his mouth. It was all so humiliating. Because of the gag, there’s drool dripping down his chin from the corners of his mouth. [Y/N] has been teasing him for so long, not even letting him get close to cumming. 

[Y/N] was sitting next to him while sucking on Choso’s neck and chest while occasionally biting every now and then. Finally, after so long of the fucking teasing torture, [Y/N] straddles his waist and starts grinding his wet cunt on top of Choso's cock. Choso groans loudly, his hips bucking upward instinctively as [Y/N]'s wet pussy rubs against his sensitive tip. The warmth of [Y/N]'s body engulfs him, and the smell of their arousal fills the air around them.

He gasps for breath, his chest rising and falling rapidly. His cock twitches violently inside him, leaking copious amounts of precum onto [Y/N]'s cunt lips. Despite knowing better, he can't help but beg for more. [Y/N]'s warm cunt clenches a little bit as [Y/N] slowly lowers himself on Choso's cock. When [Y/N] is fully lowered on his dick and their hips are pressed together, [Y/N] doesn't move or start riding him. 

His hands make their way up to Choso's nipples and start teasing and flicking his one nipple as [Y/N] sucks on the other. [Y/N] was fucking cockwarming him while touching his nipples. Choso just wanted him to stop teasing and just fucking ride him, jerk him off, finger him, anything. Choso's eyes were wide with both pleasure and discomfort, with his body trembling in anticipation. His cock throbs wildly inside [Y/N]'s tight pussy, begging for more. Each breath felt like a tiny slice of heaven as [Y/N]'s hot mouth sucks on one nipple while teasing the other. He bites down hard on his gag, fighting the urge to beg for more. 

The combination of pain and pleasure is driving him insane, making it nearly impossible to think straight. His cum threatens to erupt at any moment, but he knows better than to waste such a precious gift on anything less than perfect. 

[Y/N] pulls off of his chest and then kisses his neck once before taking off the gag. There's drool dripping down Choso's chin. "What do you want?" Choso's voice came out hoarse and strained, "Please, [Y/N]... I-I want you to ride me... Make me cum inside you." His words were barely audible above the sounds of their heavy breathing and the faint wet slapping of their bodies moving together. 

[Y/N] then picks himself up and starts riding Choso fast and hard as his wet cunt clenches around Choso's dick. Choso's eyes widen in pure ecstasy as [Y/N] finally starts moving, his cock being stimulated relentlessly by the tight grip of [Y/N]'s pussy. He arches his back upwards, thrusting his hips forward in sync with each powerful stroke. His balls tighten up, preparing for imminent release. His moans echo through the room, filling every corner with their shared erotic energy. Sweat drips down Choso’s body, painting a messy canvas across his chest and stomach. Despite knowing better, he can't hold back much longer. Just when he’s about to cum, [Y/N] stops all of his movement on Choso’s cock. 

Choso starts tearing up. He was so fucking close, why didn’t [Y/N] let him cum? [Y/N] shushes him and wipes his tears gently. "Just one time... it'll feel better once you finally cum." Choso whimpered softly, his body trembled with the need to release. He'd never felt this close before, and it was driving him crazy. 

His chest heaved heavily as he tried to catch his breath. He looked pleadingly at [Y/N], pleading for just a moment of release. The anticipation was killing him, but he knew better than to beg too much. 

[Y/N] waits for Choso to get far away from release again before [Y/N] finally starts riding him again. [Y/N] was practically slamming his hips and body down on Choso's cock this time. Choso's body tensed up, his cock throbbing violently inside [Y/N]'s tight pussy. He knew this was it; he was close again. 

His hands clutched tightly at the sheets beneath him, nails digging into the fabric as he braced himself for what was coming. A scream burst forth from his throat as his entire being convulsed in pure ecstasy. Wave after wave of unstoppable orgasmic pleasure washed over him as hot thick streams of cum shot out of his cock, coating [Y/N]'s insides with his seed. Even though Choso came, [Y/N] didn't stop riding him. [Y/N] was overstimulating his cock until he was able to cum also. 

Choso's body shook with the intensity of his orgasm, his vision blurring briefly as he struggled to regain control. His cock twitched and throbbed inside [Y/N]'s wet pussy, leaking copious amounts of cum onto their entwined bodies. As for [Y/N], he rode Choso relentlessly, their powerful hips slamming together in sync as they both reached their climaxes. Their shared moans filled the room, mixing together in a symphony of raw desire and unbridled passion. 

"We're not done yet. You thought just because you came means that I'm gonna stop? Wrong. We aren't stopping until I say we are." [Y/N] continues his movements up and down repeatedly. [Y/N] leans forward and presses a kiss on Choso's lips before starting to make out with him as [Y/N]'s cunt starts to squeeze Choso's dick slightly. [Y/N] was getting close. 

Choso's body shook with exhaustion and pleasure, his mind reeling from the intense sensations coursing through him. Despite feeling drained, he knew there was no way he could resist [Y/N]'s relentless assault on his senses. He moaned into the kiss, his tongue dancing with [Y/N]'s as they shared their mutual desire. 

His cock twitched inside [Y/N]'s tight cunt, throbbing in sync with each powerful thrust. He could feel another orgasm building up inside him again, but he knew it wouldn't be long before [Y/N] would finally let him find release. As [Y/N] continued to ride him, [Y/N]'s moans got louder. Choso cums again, and right after that, [Y/N]'s cunt squeezes him and practically starts milking his dick as [Y/N] finally cums. The feeling of [Y/N]'s pussy squeezing him almost sent him to yet another orgasm even though he just came. Choso's body convulsed violently once more, his entire being trembling with the sheer force of his orgasm. Another hot torrent of cum shot out of his cock, coating [Y/N]'s insides even more than before. 

His vision spun wildly, and he lost consciousness briefly. When he came to, [Y/N] was lying beside him panting heavily, their bodies covered in sweat and their faces flushed with exhaustion. A small smile played on [Y/N]'s lips as they looked down at him, satisfaction evident in their eyes. "T-That was... amazing." Choso managed to croak out between ragged breaths. "Thank you, Master..." 

"H-Hahh... You did such a good job..." [Y/N] kisses him on the lips again before [Y/N] lifts his hips and Choso's cock gets pulled out of [Y/N]'s cunt. Choso's cock twitched and throbbed in the air, dripping with their combined fluids. His body felt heavy and exhausted, his muscles aching from the intense ride they had just shared. He closed his eyes, relishing in the aftermath of their intense encounter. A small smile crept onto his lips as he thought about how lucky he was to be with someone like [Y/N] who could push him to such new heights of pleasure.

[selfloverrrrrr]

Yandere Megumi pleasesssss

You were meant to be mine ~

Warning: smut, heavy smut, noncon, unprotected sex, yandere, teasing, yelling.....

Masterlist

(All characters are aged up/18+)

Minors Do Not Interact

Read all warnings carefully....if you don't like my stories block me not report

I was new in jujutsu high. Just admitted there. I was in the first year. I was in grade 4. Yes I am weak... And I'm expecting it. That's why I joined jujutsu high. I couldn't even use my own cursed energy. the higher ups told me that Gojo Satoru is going to help to learn my cursed technique.I was a first year student in jujutsu high. I had friends there. Nobara, Megumi and Yuji.

Megumi Fushiguro had a great obsession with me. But never let anyone know that. Not even me. Who knew that he stalks me everywhere, secretly takes pictures. Who knew that he always sneaks in my bedroom every night. Just to watch me. That's the only time he can get so close to me. Climbing on top of me, stroking my hair, kissing my cheek and some time my lips. And noone knew this.... not even me.

One day me and Megumi got a mission together. That mission was hard one. We completed the mission but Megumi wasn't satisfied with his performance. He kept thinking that he could have done better.

We were back at dorm room of jujutsu high. It was already night. But when I went to my room I remember that Nobara has the key and she's gonna be home tommoro. She and maki got a mission together. "Oh shit" I exclaimed. "What?" Megumi asked. "Nobara has the key" I sighed. "You can stay in mine.... Yuji got mission too... You can sleep there" he said. "Thank you so much Megumi...." I said and we went to the room.

We entered the room. First he took a shower then I. He gave me one of his shirt to wear. His pants wouldn't fit me...but his shirt was way too big for me so there wasn't any problem. I came out of the bathroom which was attached to Megumi's bedroom. I saw Megumi sitting on his bed with a sad face. I knew he was still thinking about the mission. I went towards him. "Hey.." I said softly. He looked at me. Something shined in his eyes. 'she looks so gorgeous in my shirt...how much I imagined this' he thought. " Don't think about it that much" I said. "Huh...?" He responded. "The Mission " I replied. "Ohh...hmm...yeah" he said. "Come here lemme give you a hug " I said spreading my hands. He stood up and give me a hug.

I hugged him back. He sharply inhaled my fragrance. 'God....she smells like me.... I can't... I can't ' he thought and hugged me tightly it almost hurts. "Megumi?" I spoke. He didn't replied and hugged me more tightly pressing his face on my neck. " M-megumi???... It hurts" I said. He didn't replied again. I felt him licking my neck. I tried to push him away but he threw both of us on the bed. "Megumi what are you doing!!!!!....stopppp!!!!!" I said loudly. Now he let go of my neck and pressed his lips on mine.

Took off his shirt and threw it on the floor. I couldn't even proses what was happening. I tried to push myself backwards but he grabbed my hips and pinned me down. I gasped. He again crashed his lips on mine.

I tried to push him away but his grip was too strong. I can't even move myself. He was kissing me too roughly. I couldn't breathe. He grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head. My boobs bounced out. He looked at those with lust in his eyes. " You don't know....you don't know how much I waited for these." He whispered and didn't waste any time, crashed his mouth on my breast licking, sucking and teasing the nipple and squeezing the other one with his hand. I moaned in the sensetion. I grabbed his hair and tried to stop him by pulling it but it didn't even effect on him. "M-megumi stopppp" I scremed but he didn't stop.

He took off my pantie. Then looked at my pussy. He rubbed his finger on my clit and whispered " so wet.....so fucking wet.....oh god you're making me more turned on!". Then he licked my pussy. I couldn't help but moan loudly. He smirked at my reaction and undo his pant.

His dick sprang out. It was too big and too thick. Fear grabbed me by my neck. " M-megumi no no no... P-please no... s-stop" I begged but didn't even listen to me and slammed his whole dick inside me in one slide. I scremed. He didn't even give me time to adjust his size and started thursting in and out roughly. I was throughig my legs with pain and begging him to stop. And he was licking it so much. His thurst became harder and harder. I clenched around him tightly and he moaned loudly " ughhhhhh....ahhh s-so...ahhhh....so f-fucking tight " he started rubbing my clit with his thumb and I bite his shoulder scratched his back to control myself. With a few more thurst I came. He was still thursting roughly. I felt his cock pulsing inside me. I tried to push him away with all of my strength." Ughh...no no no no...ahhhhhh...no please no....ahhhhhh..... n-not ahhhh.....not inside... please please.... please Megumi I'm begging you" I moaned. He grabbed my throat and chocked me down to the bed. " Shhh.... Don't.... don't say that.... you were meant to be mine....don't say anything like that ever again" He screamed. I couldn't even believe what was happening to me. How could Megumi do this to me. Weren't we good friends??? The boy always kept silent, so inocent is doing most devilish thing with me??!! Within a minute he came inside me I could feel his seed inside me. He pulled out. My vision blurred out.

He caressed my cheek and kissed it. "Now rest princess... This meant to happen.... and now it happened. You were meant to be mine. And now you are" he whispered.

Masterlist

Give me your requests guys....

I love when you give me your requests :) <3

[lunatic-pudge]

Mercs Being Jealous

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Requested by menenthusiast900069)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aight, so let's make a quick list of most to least jealous, just so you get an idea of my very bias beliefs, I am semi willing to debate this.

1.) Sniper

2.) Demo

3.) Scout

4.) Medic

5.) Pyro

6.) Soldier

7.) Engie

8.) Spy

9.) Heavy

Now, onto the headcanons!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scout:

-Such a jealous baby, he can't help it

-A lot of it comes from his insecurities and also being the youngest of eight. He's used to being "the runt" of the group, even with the mercs. So he feels like he has to compete with them for your affection, even if you two are dating

-Like, someone could stand just a little too close to you and he's already starting the side eyes

-Scout, chill, for real for real

-He will attach himself to you once the jealousy kicks in. Arms wrapped around you, nuzzling up against you, it's that inner dog in him

-He will get mouthy with whoever is causing the jealousy. Talks a lot of smack for someone who is built like a damn twig. So it goes from him loving on you, to you having to prevent a fight from happening. Yes, depending on who it is, he can win the fight, he's a mercenary afterall. But when it comes to guys who have a big build like Heavy, then you'll really need to stop him

Soldier:

-Isn't really the jealous type, surprisingly. I think it comes from an oblivious stand point. Like, you need to point it out that someone's flirting with you for him to get even an increment of jealousy

-He really feels like he has nothing to worry about (which he's right). He's more than confident that you're loyal to him cause he is with you

-I feel like when you do say someone is flirting with you, he isn't gonna be violent, moreso he will make a big name and shame thing out of it (he basically did that to Miss Pauling in the comics)

-Like, "Who do you think you are flirting with MY GIRL, maggot! You are a disgrace to this country! Now drop and give me 100!"

-But that don't mean he isn't ready to throw hands. Cause he will. Homie's down to break a few necks. But if you don't want him doing that then you're gonna have to remove him from the situation

Pyro:

-I feel like they're kinda like Solider is the more oblivious aspect, but not as much. Like, they can tell when someone's flirting with you, but whether they truly care or not is up for debate

-I don't really see Pyro as a violent type when jealous. Why waste their energy on someone so insignificant to them?

-If anything, Pyro will just resort to loving all over you, more than usual. All the while giving the offending person a death stare

-It's a very effective form of intimidation

-Cause think about it, are you gonna want to fight a person wearing a flame proof suit, that isn't speaking, and is just giving you the thousand yard stare? No, you wouldn't

Demoman:

-Poor baby can be quite insecure. I feel so bad for him

-Constantly worries about not being good enough. He's so used to being beat down by the people around him that he doesn't have good self-esteem

-He will stand nearby you, waiting for you to notice him, looking like a sad and lost puppy

-Once you finally notice him, you'll have to pry him open to find out what's wrong. He doesn't like burdening you with his problems so he tends to sit and stew about everything til he bursts

-He will need to to reassure him that you aren't going anywhere and that you love him. He needs a lot of verbal reassuring cause he's a worrying lad

Heavy:

-Heavy? Jealous? Where?

-While Scout, Demo, and Sniper might be the top three most jealous, Heavy, Engie, and Spy are the least jealous

-Heavy is this big, strong bear, why would you ever wanna settle for less? Like, frfr, you'd have to have an IQ less than an orange to stoop to such lengths

-But let's play along and say that he did get jealous. One of those very rare times it happens. He knows he doesn't have to do much to make the offender leave, all he has to do is stand there

-And stare.

-And stare..

-And stare...

-He's got that resting angry face so he just has to stand behind you and exist to make people leave you alone. It's kinda funny to think about it. He'll gently take your hand and leave after that

-Why be around people when you two can be locked away in a quite room with a good book?

Engineer:

-Again, not a jealous person. But he does have his moments sometimes

-He's a confident boy and knows you wouldn't do anything. Plus have you seen him? He's an intelligent man, got such a nice voice and accent, and can build a machine to keep you safe

-When he jealous, he's passive aggressive. He doesn't like to be hostile, especially so up front, so he'll do little things to help get his point across

(Would give examples but I'm not passive agressive, I'm just aggressive, oops)

-He'd come up to you, slide an arm around you, give you a kiss on the cheek, and say how he was looking for ya while side eyeing the offender

-THAT MAN COULD USE HIS VOICE TO SEDUCE YOU ALL OVER AGAIN, FIGHT ME

-Weirdly enough, I can see him as someone who will look into the offender, find all the person's info and hand it over to Medic, basically saying "Here's someone you can harvest organs from. Have fun, Pookie."

-Then Medic and Engie proceed to make out and get married. The end

Medic:

-Medic's an interesting fellow. I feel like he's like Pyro where it all depends on his mood. Somdays, he doesn't give a shit, and other days, HE'S FUMING

-He will NOT tolerate the disrespect  >:(

-Cue sassy Medic. This man will verbally murder a bitch and I'm here for it

-Will get "handsy" with you (he'll just throw himself on top of you, maybe even make you hold him bridal style if you're strong enough)

-Will be loving all over you while verbally berating the offender. Everything is getting called out. EVERYTHING. He wants to ensure his point is made

-Buuuut, this can also be a chance to score some fresh, new organs. He's always in the market for that stuff so he can easily kidnap the offender and harvest the goods. And no, you can't talk him out of it. Once his mind is made up, nothing can stop him

Sniper:

-Oh my poor baby boy. Where do I even begin with you?

-Sniper can't help but get so jealous so easily. He's never been one to have relationships with people so when he is in one, he gets so insecure at times

-Worries he's not good enough at times. He know he's a "quirky" individual, so he worries you'll want to be with someone who's more "normal"

-Will stand nearby, giving the offender dirty looks. They can feel the daggers that Sniper is giving them, it's enough to make them leave

-Afterwards, he'll pull you away from everyone and be all over you

-While Demo needs verbal reassurance, Sniper needs physical reassurance. So please love on him and tell him it's gonna be okay and that you love him and only him

-But I can also see him needing to prove that he's better than any guy through "fun" means (Medic would too but I forgot to add it. They both horny jealous people)

Spy:

-Again, not a jealous person, and rightfully so

-We all know how suave this man is. He can pull anyone and everyone without even trying

-But I'm sure even Spy has his own moments when he feels a slight bit of jealousy

- He'd be so pissy with the offender. Like, fuck you, pal. That's MY partner

-Welp, time to go over there and seduce you all over again, which isn't hard for him to do. He's got that magic in him, ya know? He;s a man who knows what words to say and what moves to make. He'd make the offender jealous that they couldn't be with Spy

[izzuku]

A messy outcome ──

summary- being under the Ex-Geo Archon's orders while having him underneath you can only be justified by a contract, right? “You get to taste a piece of the Heavens...and I get to see you crumble under the pleasure, darling” - Morax

characters- powerbottom! Zhongli x top/submissive male! reader

c/w- anal penetration (character receives), unprotected sex, marking (from Zhongli), reader cums inside without a warning (he's too sensitive) , restraints on reader , orgasm control on reader, blowjob (giving), mutual aftercare and petnames

a/n- thanks for the anon who asked me to re-do it again. As I said I'm sorry to the other anon who asked me about powerbottom Zhongli. I think I've got it right this time. If I mess up again please tell me! And sorry this is a bit shorter

“How does it feel, darling? Are they too tight?” The Geo Archon speaks, filling your mind with something else other than incoherent thoughts.

“Tight...oh so fucking tight” you whisper almost exhausted, moving your hips forward so they meet with the one before you. Your hands shake under the restraints your lover decided to put on you, as it 'makes you even prettier' , he said not a while ago.

The God under you smiled mischievously, enjoying the way your body stuttered with each thrust inside of him. The fact that you couldn't touch him made you even more needy. How could you have someone so powerful under you but you couldn't even feel his body? It made you nestle your head on his neck for some closure.

“Please...please, Morax-” the name slipped, making you sit straight, eyes open and pleading for his forgiveness. "Sorry my lord...I beg of you Zhongli...I really need to cum”.

“You want to come inside me, sweetheart?” He moved his ass, pushing your cock deeper and earning a loud and desperate moan from you. “You're gonna need to last at least a bit more if you want to fill me up” the other male laughed softly.

“You just feel...s-o good. Can I kiss you while I move?” before getting an answer you were already leaning in for it. His lips captured yours, your excitement being used as a fuel to make the kiss more intense. His hands found entertainment in your chest, thumbs flicking your nipples skillfully to cause your body to shiver. “Come on love, kiss my chest” his voice echoed your mind and just like an order, your lips were already latching onto his puffy nipples.

Zhongli gave you the best grunts and moans he could. While your lips were occupied, his possessive side rose from the depths of his mind. Dark pupils turned sharp like a reptile's and his fangs dived into your flesh leaving your neck adorned with a pretty red. The pain mixed with his hole clenching around your dick pushed you to the limit.

“M'sorry...cumming! Cumming, oh archons...I can't..sorry,sorry...” you blurred out, not being able to process anything else as spurts of cum painted the insides of Zhongli without a stop. You continued moving your hips, catching your high along with his. Part of his own cum got on your flushed cheeks, eyes looking down at him with barley any energy left. “My my...look at the mess you made sweetheart...I think you're gonna need to clean this, don't you think?”

Eagerly nodding you wasted no time in putting your lips to work, licking the rest of his mess as a way of apologizing for disobeying his orders. You couldn't help but take him in your mouth and pushing it all the way in, it was still semi hard, why not just give him a hand?

“If you keep sucking my cock like that...hah..I'm not gonna be able to resist you darling” his voice became hoarse, his glowing hand grabbing a full fist of hair and pushing your head down to his pubic hair. With closed eyes and a tight squeeze on his thighs, he cummed down your throat, leaving a cute trail on the side of your mouth.

“You always know how to satisfy a God...don't you, [name]?”

...

“Is your skin alright?” your fingers caress the damaged skin of his, marks of your nails were left on his thighs and some other purple hickeys. The same was for you; two big bites on each side of your neck along with a trail of more hickeys over your chest. Hell, even both of yours and his nipples were marked.

“Everything that you do on my body I'll engrave it as a wonderful memory my love” his hand pulls your face closer to his, kissing your cheeks and forehead before leaving you on his side to rest for the rest of the night.

“What we have cannot be simply explained to the gods up there. It's more than simple, darling.”

[idanceuntilidie]

YAN DEMON X HUMAN READER X YAN ANGEL PLS SORRY I HADNT REALIZED YOU DIF ANGEL ALREADY VKVK

I hope it was okay!! it accidentally got long.. sorry pookie wookie woo damn this would make a good vn ngl

yan angel x gn reader x yan demon

tw: yandere themes and behaviours, mentions of killing

The light from the billboard always shinesBut it changed twelve times since you went away

Requests are open

“An angel sat on one shoulder, a devil on the other. Both of them wore my face.” But you are not really sure they have your face. You are not a very religious person, so you didn’t understand why they decided to bother you exactly but at least you weren’t lonely anymore. Mirui appeared first, you remember the meeting very well, hell, it gave you a heart attack. You work in a small cafe, a gem hidden in the mud. You liked it very much, your boss was nice and you even made friends with some of the people you worked with.

Well you didn’t think it was so nice and fun now, working as the cashier reminded you about the thing you dreaded. Interactions with other beings that you do not know, see for the first time and could be really fucking mean at times. Homosapiens. A woman in her mid twenties stood in front of you, waving her hands and screaming her lungs out. Your polite smile tightens as your nails dig painfully into your forearm. She found out that what she ordered was really expensive, it’s weird because there are prices next to the stuff you guys make. The woman's face flushed deep beet red in anger, and you are pretty sure she spat on you. Ew. You heard a small chuckle followed by a loud snort and laughter from your right, it startled you, but when you looked there you saw no one. After another fit of laughter you noticed a small red thing sitting on your right shoulder. A small human-like creature. It looked back at you, eyes flickering with mischief and a small full of white sharp teeth. “You should spill that coffee on her, ya know? It’s still hot, it can’t go to waste” it said Your eyes slowly went back to the screaming woman, then on the hot coffee on the counter.

To be fired or not to be fired, that is the question. Before you even got a chance to fully think this through, your boss appeared behind you and shooed you away to deal with the customer. Your boss was a savage old lady, the customer stood no chance against her. Out of sight out of mind. The small demon muttered something, disappointed, it crossed its arms and pouted. You scurried away, to the kitchen to take your mind off of things and maybe help around a bit.

Faith appeared a few weeks after Mirui did, successfully stopping you from chugging only energy drinks, spilling coffee and doing pranks on rude customers. “Do it, do it, do it, do it!” she giggled manically, clapping her hands happily. Today Mirui decided to be feminine, she sat on your right shoulder like she always did. You noticed every day she had new outfits, very revealing of course, it made you blush slightly. “Shut up, I can't focus.” “Dear child, they might fire you.” a new voice on your left stated calmly. God damn it another one. This time a painfully white angel sat on your left shoulder. He didn’t even look at you, his attention was focused on little stone tablets sitting on his lap.

“Ew who the fuck are you” Mirui spat pointing a very sharp manicured finger on the angel.

“The only rational one here” “It looks disgusting, Y/N quickly throw it off!” she grabbed your collar and shook it violently. The angel rolled its eyes and looked at her. “Stop it demon spawn, I was sent here to make sure this disgusting-” it started but when it looked at Mirui, a look of disgust appeared on its face. “Piece of work won’t do too much damage to such a pure soul, y/n leave that salt alone.” You and Mirui groaned, you will have revenge on that karen. “You suck” “Go suck dick and shut up” “Language both of you” “Ew, let’s call it Faith or Angelico or something, it’s basic- just like it” Mirui gagged. Faith went back to his stone tablets, not looking at you or the demon. Even though it wasn’t looking, you could feel how he judges you. In the end, they didn’t leave you alone. 

You wake and fall asleep to their constant bickering. You figured it’s because Mirui is a demon, and Faith is an angel. Or maybe it’s because they are so different? It makes you tired honestly. Yet their different personalities and behaviors made your life a little bit more interesting.

Faith sat on the edge of the couch, watching as Mirui did a little fashion show. You were forced to watch too,  he wouldn’t leave you alone if you didn’t. Your eyesight got a little blurry, you were tired. Very very tired, so in the end you couldn’t help but just doze off. Mirui noticed it first, giddy as he returned to his normal size. Giggling and swinging his feet as he watched you slowly fall asleep. Carefully, he gets up to sit right next to you. He sighed dreamily as he played with you hair. Aren’t you just the cutest? Naive too, just perfect. He nuzzled against your cheek, smiling widely. He could feel how warm your body was, hell he could even smell you. Mirui covered his mouth with his hand to prevent the laughter that was slowly bubbling up.

He heard a very loud scoff from Faith and when he looked at them, they had a very unpleasant look on their face.

“What’s up?” he smiled „Jealous?”

„It’s disgusting how you cling to them when they are asleep.” Faith hissed

“Oh is the baby mad because they don’t have the balls to actually get this close?” Mirui smiled proudly, cuddling up to you even closer than possible. You stirred a bit in your sleep, your pretty face scrunching in confusion before returning to a calm state. He closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep on your side, only to be yanked back by his hair by Faith. “Back off, you demon scum” “Oh oh careful now or I might start to like it” “I am serious Mirui” Faith hissed, grabbing the demon's throat as they squeezed it painfully. Their touch was painful, Mirui swore he heard a small sizzling which made him hiss. “leave, they are mine and you knew that.” “fuck off, I love them more than your sorry ass does.” he said as he tried to get away from the angel.

It happened a lot, especially when you slept. None of them wanted to give you up, let the other have your love and attention which resulted in fighting. Oh how surprised you would be if you found out that those arguments were about you, and they didn’t just appear out of thin air. Hell they have known you way before you even noticed their existence. Always there, in the background, watching, listening, admiring. Mirui was first to approach, thinking that Faith would eventually back off, and then he wouldn’t need to kill them, but they didn’t. 

And Faith, well, at first they didn’t know about Mirui, but when he eventually wanted to meet you he saw that little red slut sitting on your shoulder whispering sins. Oh their poor sweetheart, tainted and tortured by a monster. He decided to watch for a bit then appear as your savior.Now both of them are stuck being next to each other almost all the time, none of them would give up though. They will stay by your side.

Your eyes slowly open to see a white and red blob strangling each other. Your face twists into a frown, before sighing and going back to sleep.

[planetsxmore]

SHORT MESSAGES FROM YOUR FUTURE LOVER

one two three

four five six

lowkey inspired to make this as i saw a few other blogs - this a short pac that'll consist of complete/incomplete sentences channeled by your future lover/spouse/soulmate- choose your pile carefully! - you can choose more than one pile if you'd like - used intuition and rw tarot deck for this reading - this is a general reading and may or may not resonate for you all - stay positive,and hydrated loves <33

© planetsxmore rights reserved 2022 • masterlist

your likes and reblogs will be appreciated •

ꕤ PILE 1

you're the sunshine to my darkness

are you okay? because i'm not

stop doubting yourself,you're amazing and complete! i love you for how you are -

i can't wait to have you in my arms but i know that's not possible - even after we meet because it'll take us time to realize how much we love each other

the color blue is our color..

it takes time to heal wounds and broken hearts

you're the best thing that ever happened to me

i'm insecure and i'm afraid you'll run away from the scars i have...

let us dance all night,talk all night - love all night...

i love your smile,it's adorable

ꕤ PILE 2

stop it,you're tickling me...

we're literally more than friends,more than best friends even....

it's uncanny the way we both understand each other. words aren't even needed to express what we want to communicate with each other

we're weird,and we know it- and frankly speaking we don't don't care *wink*

our love is more like an understanding - it's pure,less of the lust and more of the emotional love - we laugh with each other,cry with each other and do absolutely everything together - if we haven't met,i know it's unbelievable for you but you'll believe me once we meet, darling.

you hate my pet,why tho?

our dates are the best - they're soo secretive yet soo quirky lol

you hate it when i snort/snore/slurp - but i can't help it love xD

i gave you my everything yet you didn't think of it alot. why does it feel unrequited at times?

our taste is very similar..in almost alot of things

ꕤ PILE 3

i really love the way your body looks or may look,keeps me guessing...

you're a little too sensitive,can you be a little open? i mean c'mon life's about fun - don't waste yourself overthinking most of the time

whenever i listen to love songs,it reminds me of you..

you're jealous of my exes,but what am i suppose to do if i'm soo hot --

i feel as though so much,so much could be better between the two of us. i'm a little impatient in everything and i can't change that,love - i've tried, trust me

idk why you're soo shy,i'm all in for you -

i hope you understand that i'm not the one to believe in "happy ever after-s" - it's life,babe - we gotta understand it's not a storybook

i love it how you listen to me,it makes me feel as you're the one for me for life - but again,i don't believe in story tales - kinda love. i love it fast - and quick -

clinginess is not anything i love neither co dependency

i love it when my gifts make you happy - the twinkle in your eyes are everything!

[ loves,i don't know how you feel about this pile - but for some of you, i feel you're attracting a very toxic lover/fs - if that's the case,and you don't feel good about this pile- please don't worry since this is the future you're attracting at the moment - change your energy and be a little more positive to attract a better future and partner / you don't need to end up with such an individual if you don't want to - however,if you're fine with this,then no prob! ]

ꕤ PILE 4

close your eyes and imagine - i know you'll feel me around you...

i love how we do homely activities together (cooking/cleaning/working etc.)

you and i are equals. - equals for life

we argue like little kids and make out at the very next moment..

you're my jellybean and i'm your savior.

you always end up in trouble and i always end up fixing it all for you,but i'm with you don't worry

i'll find you but you need to be strong till then! don't let your feelings out for just anyone please

you like my car and i like your lips ...*winks*

it's soo funny how you'll hide your feelings for me and it'll be obvious at the same time..i'll do the same thing.. honestly it'll be a circus and we'll be like two clowns until we confess

please bear with me when i close off. i have past baggages that make me feel isolated at times and opening up can be difficult. just stay with me,i promise i'll open up for you,love.

ꕤ PILE 5

you're literally my drug - i don't know if it's toxic or not,but all i know is that i feel strongly for you ... strongly.

you love my hugs,i know you do .

i know i'm usually very busy and taking out time can be difficult - but i'll manage i promise,just don't go away with anyone else.

you're my favorite - my utmost favorite

maybe sometimes you'll feel as though i'm selfish - wanting all of your body,time and love for myself while i give you less -- but what can i do,love? it's just the way i am. i crave you... can't see you with anyone,even your work bothers me at times when you ignore me because if it - i'm sorry,i'll try to work in these habits...but habits are difficult to change y'know?

i'm possessive,yes i am. i don't want any third party between us - any !

you love our long drives and dinner dates , and i love them with you too !

i love you. i love you right? it's not infatuation,it's not obsession !

i love it when you smile for me, because of me - i love to be your source of happiness!

just be mine, please. when you crush on anyone apart from me,i feel -- i just don't feel good,even if it's a celeb.

[ loves,i don't know how you feel about this pile - but for some of you, i feel you're attracting a very possessive lover/fs - if that's the case,and you don't feel good about this pile- please don't worry since this is the future you're attracting at the moment - change your energy and be a little more positive to attract a better future and partner / you don't need to end up with such an individual if you don't want to - however,if you're fine with the possessiveness,then no prob! ]

ꕤ PILE 6

we're soulmates,yes we are.

do you know how much i had to think over before approaching you? why are you always soo - soo intimidating y'know lol

we're opposite poles of magnets. two parts of a heart - we fit perfectly.

listening to music together soothes me..

i can be a little workaholic but trust me sweetheart, whenever i get time - i rush to you,for you. i just want to build the most stable future for us. I see you in my future..

i'm a little inexperienced in relationships - they never excited me until you came in the picture..

i do whatever i can for you, but if something still bothers you - please,tell me. i don't mind you telling me what i can do better.

love me forever.

i'm all yours,love. the good and the bad. just like the raw ..

i'm scared that our families won't accept us but, no matter what,i'm with you. we'll work through this - you just work on yourself right now, don't stress out. we'll be with each other,as soon as the universe thinks it's time

[killthewhisperingart]

"It's Cold Without You"

Pairing: Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x reader

Word Count: 2,452

Summary: A perfect description of your psyche while your husband is gone, would be the color blue. When he leaves, he takes the warmth with him, dragging the color orange behind himself, only bringing it and the sunrise upon his return.

Warning(s): Angst and descriptive thoughts of anxiety and death

A/N: It's a little abrupt, but I really wanted to post something. And I also wanted to express a specific energy (my requests r still open)

I am an 18+ Blog.

The house is cold. Maybe it's the slow approach of Winter, or the fact that the heater was busted and you refused to call someone to fix it. But the house wasn't as warm as it usually was. You stopped using the lamps with yellow bulbs, instead opting for either the blinding overhead light, or no light at all. The curtains were perpetually drawn, closing your bedroom off from the world outside, closing you off from the world outside.

Everyday is the same thing on repeat, go to work only to return home. But no matter where you are, you're always miserable. When you're at work you want nothing more than to be at home, wrapped in a blanket of silence and warmth. Though, when you're at your house, you feel lonelier than ever, longing for the human connection of your job and coworkers.

It isn't always like this, the chill in the air. The chill that settles so deeply within your bones your teeth chatter, it isn't typically present. And you know why it's here, but admitting it feels colder than the wind that hits you harshly when you walk outside. Saying it out loud, or even thinking about it for too long makes you feel... shitty, for lack of a better word to describe yourself in your head.

You don't tell him the problems you're having. You especially would never tell him why you are having these issues. Because you know him, inside and out, and you know he'll feel guilty. But you also know yourself well enough to be aware of the fact he knows you just the same. He would so easily see through the facade you have created, look through the walls you've built up as if they were a window pane. This is why you've been dodging his calls, and why he currently thinks you are sick with the flu.

You simply wait, counting the days until he's home, begging time will move faster. And while you lay in bed alone, ponder on the idea that perhaps you're wasting your life. You know it's pathetic, the fact your existence is dependent on the presence of your husband. And you feel horrible, the codependency clawing its way up your throat. It's even worse when you remember you haven't always felt this way, and you don't know what's changed. You don't know why you can't seem to act like yourself when he's gone.

Well, perhaps you do know. You just don't want to admit it. You don't want to admit that you're terrified. You don't want to admit that every time he comes home complaining of a new ailment due to a painful ejection, you get nervous. That every call from one of his superiors, or even one of his colleagues, you have a shock of terror that has your heart beating out of your chest. That you only ever feel comfortable knowing he's alive when he's next to you.

When he's home, it's different. He doesn't realize he does it, but he chases the chill away. The nervousness that wraps itself around your ribs, squeezing until your heart constricts, it lessens. You find yourself distracted by the feeling of his hands on your hips, the pressure of his kisses against your skull, that it all disappears for a moment. But you know, as your ear presses against his chest at night, listening to him breathe, that the problem is still present.

"How do you feel about kids?" He asks one day, standing behind you as you analyze the paint samples for the bathroom after it's remodeling.

And your heart sinks, because you don't know. You don't know if you'd be able to handle a baby with him, let alone when he leaves. How would you be able to calm a crying baby when you consider yourself one when he's gone?

How would you be able to handle his death...?

You think about it a lot. The idea that he will fall to his demise the same way his father did, leaving the same trauma his dad left him, on the child you two have. But you don't know if you're as strong as Carole Bradshaw. You never considered yourself a weak person, but that's what he does. Bradley makes you weak, and you don't know if you'd survive his death. If you'd be able to go on with your life, go back to normal. You don't know if you'd be able to handle your own grief, not to mention teaching your child how to do so.

You don't give him an answer that day, and he lets it go. He's good at that; letting go. It was always something you admired about him, his ability to let things slide over him, continuing on easily. The only exception he had ever displayed, was his attitude towards Pete Mitchel, never letting that go. And you can't help but wonder if you'd do the same thing to your child. Would you hold them back? Perhaps beg Jake Seresin to pull your own sons papers because you'd be so blinded by the grief for Bradley, that you'd stop your own child from achieving his dream as well.

Today is a day like any other, the calendar is marked with a bright red heart exactly six days from now. You tell yourself the house will be clean three days prior to his arrival, and the Bronco will be washed the day before, and you will be presentable the day of. But for now, you hide within the comforter that his smell still lingers on. You've taken the week off, avoiding your job with a simple call that ends with a cough you and your manager know is fake.

Bradley is never early. He's a punctual man. He's never late either. He has a talent of showing up to things at the exact time as expected. And you adore this about him, because you're never nervous about when he'll show up. After ten years together, why would you ever think that would change?

He notices the house is darker and colder than normal. He softly drops his duffel by the door, removing his boots slowly before treading towards the lamp in the living room. And the home looks eerily different. He knows you're sick right now, but he questions the extent of it as he takes in the mess.

Almost all of the dishes are piled in the sink, definitely not the amount someone who has been sick for a little over a week would use in that time. His eyes move from the dishes to the rest of the counter, where mail is scattered. He removes himself from the room, drifting into the laundry room where what can only be your entire wardrobe laying haphazardly in front of the washing machine.

It's not that Bradley ever expected you to be the sole proprietor of the household chores, typically every task being traded between the two of you. But this was clearly out of character for you. He always came home to a spotless house, something he dearly appreciated. Internally he wonders if it's his fault, for coming home too early, but he can't help but be concerned.

His chest constricts when he walks into your shared bedroom to find you, curled into the fetal position sleeping. You look exhausted, even though you're sleeping. For a moment he forgets all about the fact that his back hurts, or the fact he's been wanting to sleep in his own bed for almost two months. All he can think of is you.

"Baby," He whispers, a hand softly against your shoulder. "Honey?"

You awake with a sharp intake of breath, heart beating out of your chest in a panic. Realizing it is your husband and not in fact a murderer, does little to quell your anxieties.

"Bradley?" You blurt, springing up. "What are you doing here? It's not the twelfth is it?" You go to reach for your phone, frustration leaking through your voice. "What are you doing home?"

"I came home early," He exhales, brows knitted in concern as you rush around the room. You're clearly distressed, pacing before you finally stop and run your hands down your face.

"Why?" You dare to ask, voice warbling against your will. "Why are you home early?"

"You sounded like you were really sick, and it was only six days-" He clenches his eyes shut before looking at you with his sad eyes. "What's wrong?"

"You aren't supposed to be home yet." You whisper, crossing your arms. Your face crumbles as you remember the state of the house, the state of yourself.

"Baby if you've been sick longer than you told me, we can go to the hospital," He stands up, stepping towards you. "Something can really be wrong-"

"You're not supposed to be home," You repeat, turning it into a mantra under your breath as you cover your eyes. You can feel the slow burn as tears erupt from your eyes, strong emotions wrapping themselves around you like an octopus around a crab. Faintly, you can feel Bradley's hands touch your shoulders, and the way he rubs up and down doesn't feel the way it normally does. His touch burns your skin, itchy and irritating in a way that makes you want to cry harder.

"Will you let me take you to the doctor?"

"Will you shut up about the hospital?" You hiss, your frustration coming to head as you explode. His hands pull away as you look at him with such venom on your tongue, you can taste it. "God! Why are you home?"

His face twists in confusion, then to his own form of irritation matching yours. He doesn't understand, and typically you'd feel bad because it isn't his fault. But he wasn't supposed to be home yet.

"I don't understand." His mouth is slightly agape as he exhales. "I thought you were sick, you weren't answering my calls, you haven't been to work in two weeks-"

"You called my job?"

"I was worried!" He shouts, and you feel itchy again. "I was worried about you! And evidently I needed to be because the house is a mess-"

This strikes a chord within you. The house is yours. Bradley and you share ownership of it, you bought it together, decorated it together, but it's your domain. Every detail is finalized by you, from the color of the floors to the oven you own. It's yours. And it hurts that he points out how you've mistreated it. It hurts on a deeper level that he thinks this. No matter how much you know it's true.

"Don't you dare talk to me about my house." You can hold yourself back, snapping back at him.

"It's a fucking mess!" He points out, and you know. You know it's true. "It's never like this so clearly something is wrong and I'm worried about you!" You don't know what to do, because you had everything planned out, you knew when things were going to be put back-

And he's home early.

You prided yourself on being able to hide this part of your life from him. Being able to disguise your pain behind a mask of stability, pretending nothing had changed. That you hadn't changed. But now that's all gone. He's taken a peak behind the curtain and now the entire illusion falls apart, like ashes between your fingers.

"I just want you to tell me what's wrong." His voice is lower now, and he knows you're avoiding eye contact. "You've been pulling away, and I'm worried."

You can't bring yourself to lift your eyes from the floor to his face, where you know his eyes are bright regardless of the hurt that paints them.

"Is it me?" He asks, bending slightly to try and put his eyes in your line of sight. "Do you not want me anymore? Us?"

"No-" You can see his heart break in his eyes as you look up. "It's not that. No, Bradley, it's not that." You step closer, harshly laughing at yourself. "It's the opposite."

"I don't understand, honey."

"I love you." You whisper, feeling warmer now as his hands slide to your hips. "I love you so much, there's no one else in the world I'd even consider replacing you with. And I can't imagine my life without you."

He watches you apprehensively, eyes darting to your hands and back up to your eyes.

"I'm scared." You finally let it slip, soft like a prayer, quiet like a secret. He tilts his head slightly, practically begging you to elaborate. "I'm scared, when you leave the house for work in the morning. I'm scared when you go on missions-" your voice cracks harshly. "My heart drops every time Mav calls me instead of you, and when someone knocks on the door."

"I don't..."

"I'm scared that you're going to die soon." You blurt, not missing the way his eyes widen.

"Baby, I'm not going to die-"

"Do you think Goose told Carole that?" You ask, knowing you're crossing a line. Tears blur your vision. "You can't tell me you aren't going to die because you are, and there's nothing I can do to stop it-"

The hug is abrupt, your face being pushed into his neck and your bodies close. You feel nothing other than Bradley, and you can't even bring yourself to apologize as your hot tears drip onto his skin and inevitably his shirt. Your fingers tighten around his back, desperate to have him closer because you don't think he'll ever be close enough unless you're beneath his skin.

You know this conversation isn't done, it's not tied neatly with a bow on top. You know there's an entire can of worms that inevitably will be opened. But for a moment you feel warm again. Heat bubbles beneath your skin, rumbling through your chest as you feel his heart beating against your chest. Reds and oranges fly behind your eyelids in a way that has you breathing easier.

As he silently pulls the both of you to the bed, he hugs you a bit tighter. The smell of him surrounds you in a thick layer, your skin buzzing beneath the feeling of his lips against your forehead. You whine as he pulls away, tucking you in like you're a child.

"We're not done talking about this." He whispers, looking down at you with his sorrowful eyes. "Not even close to being done talking about this."

"Okay," You say softly back, agreeing.

"But you should get some sleep," He advises with a crooked smile. "I'll be here when you wake up."

[imnotasuperhero]

Couldn't stop this if we wanted to.

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summary: Most of the time life can surprise you with revelations that can either break you or build you up.

A/N: I MADE IT! Well.. kinda. October turned to be a.. busy one. Lol. Here you have days 1, 9 and 23 of Promptober scrambled together since.. I couldn't come up with interesting stuff for each one so.. enjoy this prelude? to the next fic taking over day 20. Hope you enjoy this. This has not been proofread.

-

The cloudy day manifested itself with a welcomed chill, cold enough to add an extra layer of clothes and you knew exactly what to wear. This is how you found yourself in Natasha's room, rummaging through her wardrobe in search of your favorite sweater.

Once you finished dressing, you made your way to the common room waiting for Wanda to appear. This was her first Halloween season and you convinced her to live the full experience.

"Don't remember allowing you to wear my perfume, too." The deep voice of the redhead had you smiling sheepishly.

"You can't forbid me, anyways," you shrugged nonchalantly, giggling when Natasha pinched your side.

"You're cooking for me for a whole month."

Looking up from your phone, you frowned. "That's slavery."

"You wasted 20 bucks when you put on my perfume. You gotta pay back. With fee." She smiled wickedly, and you inhaled sharply.

But before you could retort, Wanda appeared in your range of vision, and you couldn't help the soft smile taking over. Her figure was covered by a baggy sweater that looked too inviting to live in.

"Hi, you." Standing up, you ignored the redhead as you walked towards Wanda, reaching over to comb her hair with your fingers, allowing yourself to bask in the feeling of her silky locks.

Looking down into her eyes, you saw her green orbs wide open, making you retreat your hand. "Sorry, your hair was ruffled," you almost whispered, cursing yourself for being so straightforward.

"It's okay," she smiled shyly and you felt your heart squeeze in a pleasant way.

"Ready to go?" You offered calmly. Nodding, Wanda accepted your extended hand.

The way to the pumpkin farm was quicker than you'd thought, and the energy exuding from the woman by your side had you enjoying every minute of it.

"This is big," Wanda pronounced with her gaze over the horizon.

"It's why I wanted to bring you before the best ones were taken." You squeezed her hand before you started walking through the endless path of pumpkins in all different shapes and sizes.

"So what we're looking for?" Wanda asked curiously.

"It's your choice," you smiled. "Just make sure it's a good one."

The way Wanda scrunched her nose had your heart melting like an ice cream on a hot day. But before you could lose yourself in your thoughts, your body reacted in automatic as Wanda dragged you through the big field and after a few minutes of discussing and deciding on the right pumpkin, you both found yourselves sitting at one of the picnic tables, with the needed tools between you two.

The next hour was spent between you cleaning the pumpkin first and then joining your and Wanda's skills to carve, sharing moments of your lives and finding small coincidences in them.

"Thank you," Wanda spoke after a few moments, breaking the comfortable silence that settled between you.

"What for?" You looked from the almost-done project to the brunette beside you.

"I always wondered what'd be like to participate in other culture's traditions. So I thank you for showing me." You could detect the sincerity in her eyes and your smile only grew bigger.

"It's my pleasure," you smiled, going back to your task at hand.

Through your periphery, you saw how Wanda hugged herself now that the sun started to hide and her fuzzy sweater wasn't warm enough.

"Want some hot cocoa?" You asked, cleaning the carving tools once you've finished.

"Is this one any similar to yours?" Wanda pointed to the booth a few feet away.

"It's good, but I was thinking about going somewhere warm," you waited for her response with anticipation.

"You're the local here," she smiled that little something that had you turning into a puddle.

Turning off the engine in front of your building, you quickly stepped out as you hurried to the passenger door, feeling something funny in your stomach at Wanda's small giggles.

Once inside your apartment, you busied yourself in the kitchen as Wanda roamed through your belongings, curiosity making itself known as she asked different things that went from photos to decorating objects.

"Is this a raven?"

At those words, you felt your soul do a reset as if you had reached nirvana. The baby hairs in your body stood up in anticipation of what was yet to come.

Turning around, you carefully walked to the brunette with both steamy mugs in your hands.

"It is," you answered, barely above a whisper, afraid this was just an evil joke from the universe.

"It's beautiful." You watched carefully as Wanda inspected the small charm with something akin to curiosity.

After all this time, she was the first person to notice the small pendant despite you having placed it in plain sight. Knowing very well the meaning of it, your mind and heart started a battle about how to proceed with this new information that unfolded in front of you.

"It smells amazing," Wanda placed the chained charm in its place before she walked to the couch, where she sat comfortably.

"It tastes even better," you smiled uncomfortably, handing her the remote.

"Can we listen to music, instead?" She asked ignoring the extended remote and you could only nod. Your eyes never left her movements as she fidgeted with her phone until a soft melody started to fill the room.

The next few moments were spent in silence, with just the music interrupting the comfortable silence and the sporadic comments you shared.

Truth be told, you were thankful for this new setting in your day since the inner fight you held inside had you all over the place. On one hand, you had the dangerous sign finally manifesting in front of you, on the other, the realization that maybe your interest in the woman sitting beside you was something bound to happen. And both seemed like a huge risk of you falling into nothingness without life support.

"Y/N," Wanda's voice brought you back from your reverie, feeling small at her big eyes staring at you expectantly.

"I'm sorry. What did you say?" You composed yourself.

"I asked why you left the necklace on the shelf," she repeated herself calmly.

"Oh," you paused as you took a sip of your hot beverage as the small employees in your brain searched frantically for the right words to say.

"I felt the need to buy it in one of my travels. And as I don't believe in casualties, I decided to leave it in plain sight for the right person to be gifted with it."

Witnessing the way her green eyes sparkled with joy and her toothy smile appeared once again squishing your heart in a cozy way, you might have come to the right conclusion.

"That means I can have it?"

Instead of answering, you placed your empty mug on the coffee table before you walked to the shiny necklace, unfastening the lock as you made your way back to the couch.

"Turn around," you indicated and Wanda complied contently. "You're the chosen one," you half joked as you secured the lock around her neck.

But nothing you imagined could've prevented you from the gasp you released when you felt Wanda's back against your chest, like a warm blanket on a cold night.

"I love it," Wanda spoke and it took you one, two seconds to relax and wrap your arms around her. "Thank you."

"Thank the Universe, not me." You spoke those words with a promise you hoped reached her soul.

"You know, I was scared to accept Fury's offer," Wanda's voice was calm, like a balm to your itching insides. "With my past with Hydra and all, I mean." The brunette placed the pendant on her chest before her hand found yours, and you had to bite the inside of your cheek to avoid disrupting the conversation. "But even though I don't know how to explain it, the moment I saw you, I felt some sense of… safety," you inspected with rapt attention the way her soft hand intertwined her fingers with yours, like a silent promise.

"I'm glad you decided to stay," you chose the safest words, for you didn't trust it was the right moment to vomit all the feelings she made you feel.

"Promise you'll never leave me?" Wanda looked up at you, with her green orbs waiting patiently.

Unable to answer without choking, you leaned down to kiss under her ear and tightened your grip around her torso, allowing her scent to fill your nostrils, just to make sure this moment was real and not a trick of your imagination.

Granted, you couldn't know how your story with Wanda would end, or even if it would start at all. But if you were sure of something, it was that all the paths lead to her. These past months, when you were in her presence, you couldn't feel anything else but comfort. And if playing the game meant risking your soul, you'd play it anyway for something in you assured you that she was worth it. Part of you belonged to Wanda, whether you liked it or not.

Taglist: @wandabear @red1culous @xxxtwilightaxelxxx (If you wanna be tagged in my fics, let me know)

[halaboyz]

still of serendipity, yunho

ateez bf (ex)! yunho x gn! reader angst angst angst angst ; break-up fic! wc: 1.1k warnings: idk what i should put it as but reader starts to list things that can be considered as self-hate(?); swearing a/n: jeong yunho is just the PERFECT character for playing angst and the way he holds always holds a spot whenever i think of angst is ... this is light angst though! at least for me ^^

It was way past afternoon, yet sometime before night. It was neither dusk or night, you didn't know— with the way the dark clouds uniformly enclosed the bright blue sky maybe minutes ago, dropping hundreds and thousands and millions of rain that formed a rather calming sound in the background.

What you knew though, was that you were still sitting in silence as you stare out the window, hearing yet another sigh coming out of the man's lips in front of you.

"y/n," He calls out, and you look down to heave a breath to hold your tears.

"Yunho, the rain's pretty."

"We've been dragging this out by so long already, y/n. Don't you think it's already time?" Yunho whispers, ever so softly. He scoots closer to you to lean his elbows on the table.

You look at him emotionlessly, yet pleadingly. You were one to expect this was already to come, yet it still hits you like a truck.

"Yunho... I really can't do this right now." It was true. You have a lot on your plate; your job currently thinking whether resigning with you is a good idea or terminating your contract with how you were so idea-less these past few months, your family borderline cutting all connections with each other, friends unable to be contacted— Yunho was the only one you're now holding onto. "I really, really can't. Can't we... wait this out? I really really need you by my side right now and I... can't."

"Do you just need me, y/n?" Yunho stares at you hopelessly, the rhetorical question wanting to be said out loud for weeks already.

It makes you silent, though. Did you really just need him? Did you make him feel like that, that you only needed him? Did it seem like that?

Because you knew for sure you'd travel space and back to prove your love for this man.

So when he asked that, made it seem like you only used him for your benefit— or whatever he meant, that's how you understood it anyway, no point in arguing on an ending fight— you knew it was really a waste of more energy to try and prove something to him.

"If it seemed like that to you, take it like that." The disappointment was still evident in your voice, laced with anything the like of a venom that slowly killed the both of you.

"You know what I mean, y/n. You know how much I love you, and I still do. But... things are just not going too well that even love can't make me stay. I'm not the problem, you're not the prob—,"

"Stop telling me that there's no problem with me, Yunho. I need you to fucking say anything to make me please, fucking hate you." You finally sob, looking around the cafe with no other customers but the both of you, and the barista standing awkwardly behind the cashier, feigning ignorance.

You couldn't care less, though. You messily wipe your tears away but you sob yet again. It just keeps coming. When you said arguing was a waste of energy, crying isn't, that's certain.

"y/n."

"No, Yunho. I need you to spit out every fucking insult you could. Am I fat? Am I too ugly? Short? Do I not have dreams? Passions? Hobbies that don't align with yours? Boastful? Hard-headed? A pain in your fucking ass? Do tell, Yunho. 'Cause I'm about to lose my mind."

"Y/n..."

"I need any! Any fucking reason why you're breaking up with me and giving up on me, Yunho. I'd take on anything you're going to say and believe it and go on with my fucked up life because if not, Yunho..." You sigh, all the emotions mixing as you burst out crying. If it weren't for the raindrops in the background, and the low volume of jazz playing against the four walls of the cafe, you would've been all over the place to prove Yunho a point. "Even if my life turns upside down and you have shitty timing trying to break up with me, Yunho, I'd wait. If you don't say anything right now, I'd wait until the world fucking blows up."

Yunho only looks at you with so much he can give— guilt, a hint of regret, and a lot of sympathy you didn't need.

What you needed was him, his presence, even if he only stood still beside you all throughout, you knew you'd cope.

He was your lifeline, after all.

"Because I love you like that, Yunho. I don't know about you but I know myself and what I gave and what more I can give. So for you to give up on me just because I'm a fucking mess right now and I don't know about you is... shit."

Yunho stays like that, staring at you. Without an ounce of hope for the both of you, obviously.

Eyes of the one who had already long given up on the both of you. Eyes of the one who held nothing of love toward the lady wo cried a river in front of him, who begged him to stay during the lowest part of her life.

"I'm sorry, y/n." Yet he can't bear to hurt you more than you were already hurting. Even if he says every single insult in his vocabulary, he knows you know he wouldn't mean it. He knows that you know he just, as it is, purely, gave up on the both of you because it wasn't working at all between the both of you, right now, an untimely case.

He stands up unhesitatingly, leaving you an umbrella at the side of the table. He mumbles another apology as he takes a step back from your crying figure, finally accepting your fate as you stare out the window rather than seeing him off.

"I wish you well, y/n. I really do. I'm sorry that I can't be... the one." Yunho is a fucking coward. He just is— as he turns his back towards you, with tears finally, without a shame, pour out of his eyes. He can't let you see that side of him as he scurries out of the cafe, to his car in front of the window you longingly stared at.

When he looks back, you were sobbing your life out covered in your hands, and that's when the excruciating pain hit him. He had to clutch his chest to try and lessen the pain.

The pain he had caused. All he wanted to do was run back and engulf you in his arms, but... here we are. The cowardly Jeong Yunho.

Because he left, after all.