Text
I want to talk about Jamie's wholeass depressive episode and the fascinating way he (fails to) process and cope with stuff and things because like? That press conference??? His sudden refusal to accept he's an important teammate who contributes a heck of a lot, saying his goal shouldn't have even counted?? Not wanting to take pictures with fans??? Saying "I hadn't even thought about that" when Keeley says his Dad is going to be at the game, even though it was clearly all he'd been thinking about??? THE SAD SUITCASE THING? god it was SO much I need 100 fanfics that are going to tackle this in a way even angstier than the show. immediately.
#ted lasso#ted lasso spoilers#jamie tartt#I can't talk more about it right now because I'm in too giddy of a mood because of ot3 but like.........#also im going to need to process for wayyyy longer before i can talk about it in any coherent way but WOW. it was A Lot
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
there was some Twitter madness recently where someone left a comment on someone's art to the effect of, "Ed shouldn't wear a dress, he's a man!" which I do disagree with on principle, but unfortunately, it brought out one of my least favourite trends in the fandom
so, naturally, I had to write a twitter essay about it. and I already largely argued this in a post here, but the thread is clearer and better structured, so I thought I'd cross-post for those not on the Hellsite (derogatory). edited for formatting/structure's sake, since I no longer have to keep to tweet lengths, and incorporating a couple of points other people brought up in the replies
so
I want to point out that the wedding cake toppers in OFMD s2 aren't evidence that Ed wants to wear dresses. Gender is fake, men can wear skirts, play with these dolls how you like, but it's not canon, and that scene especially Doesn't Mean That.
People cite it often: 'He put himself in a dress by painting the bride as himself! It's what he wants!' But that fundamentally misunderstands the scene, and the series' framing of weddings as a whole. I'd argue that Ed paints the figure not from desire, but from self-hatred; it's not what he wants, but what he thinks he should, and has failed to, be.
(Yes, I am slightly biased by my rampant anti-marriage opinions, but bear with me here, because it is relevant to the interpretation of the scene, and season two as a whole.)
The show is not subtle. It keeps telling us that the institution of marriage is a prison that suffocates everyone involved. Ed's parents' cycle of abuse is passed to their son in both the violence he witnesses then enacts on his father, and the self-repression his mother teaches, despite her good intentions ("It's not up to us, is it? It's up to God. ... We're just not those kind of people. We never will be."). Stede and Mary are both oppressed by their arranged marriage, with 1x04 blunty titled Discomfort in a Married State. The Barbados widows revel in their freedom ("We're alive. They're dead. Now is your time").
But even without this context, the particular wedding crashed in 2x01 is COMICALLY evil. The scene is introduced with this speech from the priest:
"The natural condition of humanity is base and vile. It is the obligation of people of standing ... to elevate the common human rabble through the sacred transaction of matrimony."
It's upper class, all-white, and religiously sanctioned. "Vile natural conditions" include queerness, sexual freedom, and family structures outside the cisheteropatriarchal capitalist unit. "The obligation of people of standing" invokes ideas like the white man's burden, innate class hierarchy, religious missions, and conversion therapy. Matrimony is presented as both "sacred" (endorsed by the ruling religious body), and a "transaction" (business performed to transfer property and people-as-property, regardless of their desires), a tool of the oppressive society that pirates escape and destroy. That is where the figurines come from.
When Ed, in a drunk, depressive spiral, paints himself onto the bride, he's not yearning for a pretty dress. He's sort of yearning for a wedding, but that's not framed as positive. What he's doing is projecting himself into an 'ideal' image of marriage because he believes that: a) that's what Stede (and everyone) wants; b) he can never live up to that ideal because he's unlovable and broken (brown, queer, lower-class, violent, abused, etc); c) that's why Stede left. He tries to make himself fit into the social ideal by painting himself onto the closest match - long-haired, partner to Stede/groom, but a demure, white woman, a frozen, porcelain miniature - because, if he could just shrink himself down and squeeze into that box, maybe Stede would love him and he'd live happily ever after. But he can't. So he won't.
The fantasy fails: Ed is morose, turns away from the figurines, then tips them into the sea, a lost cause. He knows he won't ever fulfil that bride's role, but he sees that as a failure in himself, not the role. It's not just that "Stede left, so Ed will never have a dream wedding and might as well die." Stede left when Ed was honest and vulnerable, "proving" what his trauma and depression tell him: there's one image of love (of personhood), and he'll never live up to it because he's fundamentally deficient. So he might as well die.
This hit me from my very first viewing. The scene is devastating, because Ed is wrong, and we know it! He doesn't need to change or reduce himself to fit an image and be accepted (as, eg, Izzy demanded). Stede knows and loves him exactly as he is; it's the main thread and theme of season two!
(@/everyonegetcake suggested that Ed's yearning in these scenes includes his broader desire for the vulnerability and safety Stede offered, literalised through unattainable "fine" things like the status of gentleman in s1, or the figurine's blue dress. I'd argue, though, that these scenes don't incorporate this beyond a general knowledge of Ed's character. Ed is always pining for both literal and emotional softness, but the significance of the figurines specifically, to both Ed and the audience, is poisoned by their origin and context: there is no positive fantasy in the bride figure, only Ed's perceived deficiency.
Further, assuming that a desire for vulnerability necessarily corresponds with an explicit desire for femininity, dresses, etc, kind of contradicts the major themes of the show. OFMD asserts that there is nothing wrong with men assuming femininity (through drag, self-care, nurturing, emotional vulnerability, etc), but also that many of these traits are, in fact, genderless, and should be available to men without affecting their perceived or actual masculinity. It thematically invokes the potential for cross-gender expression in Ed's desires, especially through the transgender echoes in his relieved disposal, then comfortable reincorporation, of the Blackbeard leathers/identity. It's a rich, valuable area of analysis and exploration. But it remains a suggestion, not a canon or on-screen trait.)
Importantly, the groom figure doesn't fit Stede, either. Not just in dress: it's stiff and formal, and marriage nearly killed him. He's shabbier now, yes, but also shedding his privilege and property, embracing his queerness, and trying to take responsibility for his community. In a s1 flashback, Stede hesitantly says, "I thought that, when I did marry, it could be for love," but he would never find love in marriage. Not just because he's gay, but because marriage in OFMD is an oppressive, transactional institution that precludes love altogether. All formal marriages in OFMD are loveless.
So, he becomes a pirate, where they reject society altogether and have matelotages instead. Lucius and Pete's "mateys" ceremony is shot and framed not like a wedding, but as an honest, personal bond, willingly conducted in community (in a circle; no presiding authority, procession, or transaction).
That is how Stede and Ed can find love, companionship, and happiness: by rejecting those figurines and their oppressive exchange of property, overseen by a church that enables colonialism and abuse. Ed is loved, and deserves happiness, as he is, no paint or projection required.
ALL OF THIS IS TO SAY: draw Ed in dresses! Write him getting gender euphoria in skirts! Write trans/nb Ed, draw men being feminine! Gender is fake, the show invites exploration, that's what 'transformative works' means! But please, stop citing the cake toppers as evidence it's canon. Stop citing a scene where a depressed Māori man gets drunk and projects himself onto a rich, white, silent bride because he thinks he's innately unlovable and only people like her can find happiness, shortly before deciding to kill himself, as canon evidence it's what he wants.
(Also, please don't come in here with "lmao we're just having fun," I know, I get it. Unfortunately, I'm an academiapilled researchmaxxer, and some of youse need to remember that the word "canon" has meaning. NOW GO HAVE FUN PUTTING THAT MAN IN A PRETTY DRESS!! 💖💖)
#OFMD#Our Flag Means Death#OFMD Edward Teach#gender stuff#Togas does meta#god this seems even longer as a semi-proper essay XD#I know this is the piss on the poor website of reading comprehension but please god don't misunderstand me#i'm not saying you can't draw ed (or any other male character!) in a dress or that it's The Wrong Interpretation or whatever#I AM saying this fandom sometimes emphasises feminising Ed to the point of over-simplification and dehumanisation#which certainly feels at least racist-adjacent and definitely misses the point of the show#but mostly I'm saying that THAT SCENE DOESN'T MEAN THAT and I wish people would stop talking about it like something sweet and positive#when it's one of the most miserable and heartbreaking scenes in the show. like. agreeing with ed's depression is a bad look...#my experience of trying to do meta in the last year or so has consisted almost entirely of trying to do#specific historicist analysis or textual close readings#and being met with broad political analyses and overall interpretations of character#like mate..... bless you for engaging but. that is not what I'm doing here. XD#shoutout to the couple folks on twt that mentioned Ed's desires generally or an outtake from the scene#neither of which are at all relevant to my point but thank you for your input
100 notes
·
View notes
Note
To be honest I am a huge Nalu shipper. But the thing is I want to know the difference between the way Natsu cares about his guildmates and Lucy. Like what is the obvious difference since that boy sees every as Nakama so how can we say that the wag he cares about Lucy is different?
Like even when Erza passed away? (All the way back in first season there was a segment where the guild was gathered at her grave and all) Natsu was still very reactive. Plus he was also said to be depressed even when Lisanna passed.
What's the difference between all of them and Lucy?
the fact that he stayed. the fact that before he met Lucy, Natsu wasn't one to stay in a group or even want to work with anyone besides Happy at the start of the story. hell, he was ready to just file Lucy down as "New Guildmate" once they reached Fairy Tail
but then, Lucy doesn't leave. she follows him on his mission to save Macao despite her not needing to or even really understanding everything about it. she stays and then fights with him and saves him. it's no secret that Natsu is strong and can take care of himself really well. he's been going on solo missions for years now, and no one has really stopped him, but that means he's been in a lot of sticky situations where he and Happy are on their own and have no backup. and yet, without asking, Lucy offers it
and i think this is the moment when Natsu considers that maybe it's okay to have someone there to have his back (sans Happy)
"but Natsu only needed Lucy for the next quest because of the requirements," well, Natsu also wouldn't have taken or even considered that quest if it weren't for Lucy, yeah? he was not a team player (in the picking job's sense) or really wanted other people to help him on his quests sans Happy. and then he goes and picks a job that caters to their team whilst ensuring that Lucy can't say no
or maybe i'm reading too much into it 🤷🏻♀️
or maybe Natsu's got horrible abandonment issues that he will latch onto people so fast (Igneel & Lisanna) but also cause him to distance himself so far when left behind (his 1st time at the guild, Lisanna's death). Erza and Gray are Natsu's closet friends after Lisanna and yet they cannot reach him when he closes himself off. and then we have Lucy, who stuck by and had his back, so who is to say Natsu didn't make some contingencies to ensure whether or not she'd join him?
but maybe it's the rose, colored ship glasses i have on
because yeah, Natsu cares for all of his guildmates. the power of friendship is his biggest motivator. when we meet Natsu, our first introductions of him is defending his guild's reputation from Bora (who was using it as a guise for human trafficking) and saving Macao. and our 1st big arc (Galuna Island), where Natsu adamantly refuses to allow Gray to use Ice Shell and sacrifice himself despite how antagonistic they've been to each other. we get Natsu 100% at Erza's defense throughout the Tower of Heaven and he is even ready to defend Wendy though they only met hours ago
Natsu is a character with a bleeding heart and cannot help but wear it on his sleeve, but we don't really see him allow others to fight his battles or have his back until Lucy comes in. to be honest, i don't even think he had his heart on his sleeve until Lucy. he still has a bleeding heart (i don't think anything could stop that), but he was not ready to be open in receiving company because he was so used to it being ripped away from him
that being said: of all the characters he interacts with, he finds Lucy to be someone compatible enough for him to start going on team missions and inviting her on them (for example, his 1st S-class mission, which he stole, he went to her house to show it to her. the fact that part of the reward was a celestial key might be a coincidence, but i wouldn't doubt it as Natsu and Happy's trump card in case she refused)
but yeah, the difference is that he stayed and didn't push her away at the beginning, but instead continued to invite her along with him to the point that doing a mission without Lucy wasn't his regular anymore. compared to the rest of the guild, of whom he spent most of his childhood with, even if he spoke to no one, they would still be around and talk to him anyway. he might not invite them on job and only challenge them to fights, but the guild is his home and a constant in his life, a constant he needs (bc heavy abandonment issues).
"okay, but he still pushed her away after he watched Igneel die right in front of him. and he left the guild for a whole year, too. so what's the difference there?" you may ask.
so 1) Natsu never thought the guild would disband. he returns to Fiore after a year and is the last to know that they disbanded. he assumed, like all the other times before and while he and others were sealed for 7 years, that Fairy Tail would still be there when he returned. he assumed that his disappearance would not impact so hard because the guild would still be around and Lucy would have the others with her
which, did not happen :)
and like, so many guild members go off on jobs, quests, or even just leave for an indiscriminate amount of time (which i, personally, believe was his rationality for leaving), so him being gone for a year was nothing! right? no harm, eh? his plan was never to be gone forever :))))
2) he just watched his father die and lose any chance of having some semblance of a long term reunion with Igneel. he literally lost one of his main driving motivations for getting stronger and taking jobs. before Fairy Tail, before anyone, it was Igneel. and to learn that a) Igneel was always with him to begin with and b) he only got to see him for less than a day after 14 years of nothing......i would feel lost too ngl
man's needed space from everybody. and he also needed comfort, but Natsu has been shown not to really be the character who asks to receive comfort (and when he does receive it, it's usually when he's already emotionally compromised). he is in the habit of shutting people out after being abandoned or losing someone close to him, with his next rationale being to "get stronger" in order to prevent what happened in the past to ever happen in the future.
anyway
what makes this different? well for one, he sent the letter only to Lucy (or it's implied since no one else is shown getting one) because of how the two spend most of their time together. even the line that goes with the panel makes it sound like Natsu is unsure on how the note will be received (maybe even hesitant? but that could be my own hopes)
and one of the 1st people he reunites with after a year is Lucy and we get such a similar parallel to the first chapter of Fairy Tail between the two as if the narrative itself is slotting them together to say "ah yes, now everything is back to normal and new journeys can begin"
but yeah, this is just a long way of saying, that Natsu does love his friends and guildmates but even when he is close to them, he kept to himself (and Happy) and sort of stayed in their orbit but always with some emotional distance because of his fear of abandonment. and then you have Lucy where he will stay for and allow her to orbit around him and he will invite to new adventures no questions asked
that's the difference
#this is 100% unrelated but reading the older chapters had me realize how Cana's hair is a lot curlier than in the anime#my girlie's waves got straightened T^T and they were so gorgeous too#also love the translator's notes at the end of each volume <3#fill me with so much joy and why they chose to go in what direction for each translation#this post is longer than i thought oops#like i was gonna leave it at 'bc Natsu stayed for her' and then be done#but no i can't just leave it there and not back it up#also me saying Natsu stayed for Lucy is not me trying to undermine his other relationships in the guild#Natsu's bonds with Fairy Tail are the very core of this story so to say that he loved any of his guildmates less would not be right#his love for Lucy is different#it started the same but shifted as the arcs progressed#his priorities with her are different than they are with his friends and guildmates despite being on a fairly even level#fun fact! i started writing this 6 hours ago. had class. got distracted w/ old ft plot while searching for manga panels. and now we're here#btw: this is not excusing Natsu's act of leaving without so much of a warning. this is just explaining his personal rationale and emotions.#ofc Lucy was right to feel upset and betrayed for being left behind by Natsu and then to be alone bc the guild disbanded. i would too!#but we aren't talking about that. we're talking about what makes Natsu's feelings for Lucy different from the rest of the guild#also sorry i got a little lazy with the manga panels after the first couple T^T and mayhaps distracted (rereading Igneel's death is sO fun!#fairy tail#natsu dragneel#nalu#fairy tail nalu#ft meta#also like how natsu loves is very open and through action#no matter whether its familial or platonic or romantic#how he shows it is the same fierce protectiveness and attentiveness#personally i see natsu's love being in equal fervor for all. none really trump over the other. they're just different
42 notes
·
View notes
Note
uhhh thoughts on alabasta ratman sleep-deprived and weed fueled ace vs peak chad energy fuckboy prime wano ace?? like which one do you prefer, do you have any thoughts if he’d treat/think of luffy any different? in these two periods of his life?
(also ugh I adore both and there’s something special about alabasta ace who went after luffy to drum island, made sure everyone knew he would be waiting for luffy in alabasta, then went and sat there for 10 days with no other purpose but to wait for luffy. bc he just wanted to see him so so much. brocon alabasta ace is uhhhgggghh insane vibes but. there’s also something about wano graciously giving everyone big tits and a healthy layer of fat tissue on top of all that muscle. also the fact that portgas d “i hate when little children follow me around” ace willingly befriended and took care of tama. also promised her the same thing he promised luffy. idkidkidk I just like to think luffy was on ace’s mind 90% of the time, wherever he went, and he often just thought about him bc a lot of thinks reminded him of luffy. like things luffy would like, things he’d like to eat, things he’d find funny etc)
I thought this would be easy to answer but then I had like a whole essay typed up in my head. so. thank you for this ask, I have a lot of feelings about it apparently. 😂😂
they really do feel like 2 different characters, maybe bc Oda was still firming up the details of marineford/wano when Ace first appeared in alabasta? In any case it's always fun seeing which "version" of him fans lean into in fanart/fic/headcanons hahaha. like do they make him more scrungly and sleazy (but maybe also secretly doting)? you got yourself a greasy Ace fan. do they make him all upstanding and softly affectionate and soulful? wano ace wano ace wano ace
(a lot more rambling from here)
I have to admit...... and I'm ashamed to say it............... but I was only half-aware of Ace in Alabasta—like at that point, he was just another "wacky cool shounen guy" to me. It took Marineford breaking my brain down to its component parts and rearranging them for my full Ace brainrot to set in, and at that point he was closer to Ethereal Fridged Wife wano Ace, so I'd probably go with that one? God I do need to rewatch Alabasta tho, I feel like it'd be such a trip of fawning over greasy ratman Ace this time around ahahahah
I think it took until Marineford for me to really latch onto Ace bc it was outwardly like: Alabasta Ace: I'm cool Marineford Ace: I'm cool [ironic][hiding INTENSE self-worth issues]
I agree with everything you said though... I love wrinkly, wrung-out-to-dry Alabasta Ace and his devil-may-care coolness. His vibes of being just a bit more of a rebel than any of the Strawhats even, the thing that makes people cast him as a guitarist or artist in modern AUs. that fuckin,,,,, crouch/perching thing he does,,,, The WAITING... he's so understated with his devotion, like, this panel??
he's trying to be so cool and older brother-y but really he just wants his little brother to visit him sometimes!!! he waited for luffy for 10 days when he's been prioritizing this mission over everything else, even being with his other found-family crew, and I just!!! sigh
"any thoughts if he’d treat/think of luffy any different" I so agree that Wano Ace is pre-Whitebeard Ace, meaning that even though he's presenting himself as independent and a leader/captain, there's a part of him that's still very angry and searching for acceptance. And yesss, bc of that he was probably holding his memories of Luffy so close all the time, seeing his brother who loves him in the innocent, trusting kid he helps, and unable to stop bragging about his brave little brother to the brash, impressive club-weilding guy he runs into.
meanwhile I feel like Alabasta Ace is actually more mellowed-out in his feelings toward Luffy, in a way? like idk, maybe—I might be completely off—but he's more secure in himself and his attachment to Luffy... or at least he tells himself he is. I just feel like that explains why he's shown to be so openly brag-y about Luffy in his Wano days, but seems way more laidback in Alabasta, haha (but the brocon devotion is still there, just better-hidden, lmaoooo) (and it gets ripped to the forefront during Marineford—he's forced to confront all that fear and attachment when he sees Luffy hurtling through the air toward him AH)
god tho. wano ace. wano ace and this gif
the things. the things i want to do to this man. the morals i would abandon. unspeakable.
and this???? him??????????????? sunkissed angel backlit like the once-in-a-lifetime love interest in a twee indie film???
yeah I... in summary, I feel like I have 60/40 preference for Wano Ace over Alabasta Ace, but really it's that mix of all those qualities that I like to bring in when i can.
(my secret third answer is Marineford Ace. the blorbo who started it all, lmao)
#gosh.... what you wrote about wano ace...#him seeing luffy in everything at least a little bit#i'm stopping here#thank you for coming to my ted talk#meta#headcanons#acelu#?#edit to add more in the tags bc like#i also feel like alabasta ace does this thing#where he rushes his goodbye to luffy#he knows (or thinks?) luffy is less attached than he is#and since he doesn't want to 'hold luffy back' or weigh him down#he tries to say goodbye first#and then you get luffy canonly being like 'wait!!! can't you stay longer?? :((('#i just#what if ace worried that if he stayed any longer he wouldn't be able to make himself leave#after seeing luffy in the flesh and both remembering how cute he is and seeing what an impressive person he's grown/growing into#idk i mean that take is probably a little overdramatic#buuuuuut it's also probably not totally off base right??
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
favorite type of villanous characters are the ones whose motivations boil down to
like they dont even have to have any stakes in the broader situation. they just have take pleasure in destruction
#sometimes this can be done in a very funee cartoon villain kind of way a la spike from buffy#and sometimes it can be done in a positively chilling way where this character knows for a fact that some of the effects of their chaos#will also make their life worse. but they just enjoy fucking with other people more than any privation they could personally experience#you can't sway this person with common sense because their own personal logic dictates that it doesn't apply to them#you can't sway them with emotion; your sadness/fear/anger/ineffectuality is part of the entertainment factor#can't sway 'em with threats because dodging threats is ALSO part of the whole point#this second version is the least pathetic type of character mostly because they simply do not give a shit about anything ever#any personal fears are buried or stomped out and figuring out why they do what they do won't stop them from doing it#and yet: in order to keep the relentless making-it-worse guy from being uninterestingly evil there does have to be SOME desire or need#bodily harm or lack of available victims could get you a moment of genuine terror or loneliness that sparks the audience sympathy#which you do need! just long enough for the sympathy to then be misplaced. which you also need bc this is an antagonist#the first version does very well at redemption arcs and is sort of built for them . they're almost too easy for the first cartoon version#the second version should be kept separate from redemption arcs at all costs#or you no longer have that character anymore now he's someone else#writing tag#q#god. one thing is that i know how to spot character types in writing and detail what's good about them and talk about it#but when it comes to then executing the concept? my perception of what's cool and works and my execution are MILES apart#frustrating as hell that i can identify this guy but not create him
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
all and all, i think the issue is that we jumped the gun.
i say we because i did this too, but in hindsight it's easy to see. when this whole thing started, i went with the majority opinion because i saw everyone else was doing it and did what everyone else did: renounced him (quietly, because i was never vocal online) and started removing music and videos from my lists. but i didn't do it all the way, not my deletions nor my renouncing, as i understood this is a situation that needs to develop. i.. thought everyone understood that..? but it really looks like i was wrong. the consensus was set between her initial statement and his p.r statement, and everyone moved on.
but just between those two things, before she started giving out more information, i started to get doubts. her initial statement made me feel icky with his p.r statement in mind, and i started to formulate what could have happened.
1. dirty house. i mean this in the most neutral way possible as i do this too, but you can be lazy. you can not clean your house for long periods of time, no one's gonna (or should) yell or judge you harshly for it. it's fucking work. especially if you're prone to depression or not there a lot because that's what your line of work requires. what would give you the motivation to do so? making fun of those who struggle with this shit isn't the own you think it is. and the way she described it, it sounds like she cleaned because she felt bad and wanted to do it. she then calls this a form of abuse. like it was nice of her, but the way she described it, no one was making her do that. calling it abuse or just a shitty thing to do in hindsight is grasping for straws at best and making others feel miserable for doing a common, natural thing at worst.
2. being unable to leave the house. from what it sounds, she didn't have a key. she also wasn't there all the time, even a majority of the time. so why would you have a key? she says she felt trapped, but never brought up communicating that feeling. all that means is that you did that to yourself. you can go out and get a key. bringing that up as abuse/shitty thing is completely baseless.
3. speaking of completely baseless: the whole "this might be financial abuse" thing. the fact that she even said that this might not be abuse but she's still bringing it up was the first little needle in the side i got that made me think twice, that got me thinking this might just be her grasping at straws.
4. the biting thing is still the most shifty thing to tackle. that was what got everyone immediately on board with completely dropping this guy. it's still an odd beast to bring up. but, in the streams after the first, which she did after the dust had kinda died down and everything he touched was in shambles, she brings in more information on that: she never told him to stop, just not do it so hard, and never communicated how much she disliked it and how much it made her uncomfortable. well, unfortunately, that's kinda on her at that point. don't expect to be listened to if you don't say anything- and she literally says he stopped when prompted. she says at first that she asked him to stop altogether and he specifically said he wouldn't, but then later goes on to explicitly say she never removed consent. it's shifty and strange, and is the thing she's the least consistent on. given that's the primary focus of all this, her inconsistency and lack of evidence (seriously, human bites are fucking NASTY) makes me hesitant.
in his p.r statement, he says he did do these things but is shocked she'd call those actions abusive. if she never expressed anything to the contrary to him, then what reason would he have to think that? everything but the biting isn't even abusive to begin with. with everything she's said on the matter in mind, i think his response is totally logical, and good, even. everyone seems to think it was manipulative and downplaying, but what if it wasn't him downplaying and instead her exaggerating?
i'm a scientist, a fan of literacy. i've had to read and write so many articles and essays. with this kinda thing, you look at points and arguments from both sides and you synthesize an answer or an opinion. the problem is is that i don't think people stuck around to do that. they saw what everyone was saying, they read the room, expressed rudimentary anger and maybe throwing out something stating he's horrible and they're no longer associating with him, and moved on. i think part of the problem is that no one wants to be caught on the wrong side, speaking up against the contrary, leave the crowd, because if you do you stand out as a target. but seriously, surely no one believes everything they hear? surely people can think for themselves? choosing to believe someone based solely on the fact they've been hurt is very dangerous to yourself and others. the world is not black and white and people are very, very complicated.
we still don't have a shred of proof, nothing but words after the fact- and remember hindsight bias. at this point, i'm inclined to believe there isn't anything substantial. which is fairly reasonable, but then you can't expect everyone to believe you. especially when you've been caught lying about this kind of thing before. refusing and hiding others asking to clear things up or for concrete proof is nothing but suspicious, even more so when you accuse them of being "on his side" and calling for everyone listening to you to block them. it's all so suspicious.
i'm just sad we destroyed someone's career over this.
#wilbur soot#pants heavily.#yeah hi just starting out here. this is what i'll be talking about mostly.#once the new single dropped and i saw uh.. thoughts and opinions i was like right. can't take this any longer.#i kinda told myself to revisit things once something new happens in will's career and see how i feel and how it's going.#and i found i really want to put my thoughts out there. be another voice in the minority. y'know?
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hey guys, guess who finally got to THAT part of the Vengeance route
#shin megami tensei v vengeance spoilers#smt v vengeance spoilers#Guys I don't think I can continue playing this game-#Why did I forget this game has always been tragic as all hell#I'm in shambles and everything hurts#LIKE I SAW THE RED FLAGS.... THAT DOESN'T MEAN I FEEL ANY BETTER#I miss him chat#Everywhere I look I see his face now#Bring him baaackkk *sobbing*#I feel bad for even fusing with someone elseeee idc idccc#I lied this game is no longer peak /nsrs#I can't even begin to talk about the Dazai Yuzuru bit#THAT WAS FUCKING VILEEEEEE#God without Aogami I don't really wanna play anymoreee 😭😭#They really were like “Oh the True ending of CoC?...Let's speed that up and let it happen partway through the Vengeance route#My Roman empire is that he died feeling guilty.......... Over something that wasn't his fault.. I'm so normal I'm so normal#Anyway time for me to continue... Playing..... Sigh#Back to my “Avoiding SMTVV spoilers” cave I go#I now unfortunately have so many angst art ideas#Why doomed yaoi whyyyy#shin megami tensei v#smt v vengeance#smtvv spoilers
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just watched Sick and Tired (Golden Girls s5, episodes 1 & 2) and aside from the obviously great work these episodes did in highlighting just how awful it can be to be diagnosed with a chronic illness, I had to take a minute to appreciate Rose. Because she's genuinely amazing here.
We're in these episodes where obviously, Dorothy isn't at her best. She's not there to be the voice of reason, to make sure everything runs smoothly — and usually you'd think Sophia would turn into the anchor then, because she seems to have most of her wits about her. But rather than Sophia, or even Blanche, it's Rose who steps up and keeps some semblance of order around the house.
Rose goes to New York with Dorothy because she's comforting, because she's sweet and understanding and unlike Blanche, she's able to take Dorothy seriously without considering her own problems. Rose takes care of Blanche during her... writer's high? If that's what we can call it? And it's just. She displays so much emotional intelligence in these episodes, and she keeps it all together for the four of them when all the others are falling apart. I love the rare episodes where we get to see how important Rose is; how much there really is going on underneath the surface.
#my little headcanon is that blanche obsesses over writing because she can't bear to face reality happening around her#dorothy? sick?? possibly *dangerously sick*?? no way! she flat out refuses the possibility#like that opening scene where dorothy enters the kitchen and starts talking about how the doctor told her she's fine#and blanche goes all 'well if the doctor said you're fine then you are! even if you look like hell!'#you could see that as disinterest. but i think blanche is just trying very very hard to convince herself that dorothy's fine#because she can't face the possibility that she isn't#so obviously when she can't ignore the truth any longer she throws herself into writing#obsessively i might add!#i mean. the woman doesnt sleep for 78 hours#that's not even normal for a writer lmao#she's avoiding the truth by fully devoting her attention to something else#to the detriment of her own health. because she's scared for dorothy's#anyway those were my two cents#the golden girls#dorothy zbornak#rose nylund#blanche devereaux
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
idk how to put words together to say what i want to say. so if this doesn't make sense that's why. i think sometimes the language about fetuses used by pro choice people is intentionally inflammatory and further drives a wedge between pro choice /pro life. and sometimes the lack of respect is so glaring. what is your gross, dehumanizing, awful descriptors of a fetus supposed to accomplish? you aren't winning anyone over. you're pushing others away. and for the folks who have experienced miscarriage, can you imagine the grief that comes only to be met with "it's just a disgusting alien parasite clump of cells"? you're only posturing to other people who already agree with you. you're taking no care. no compassion. why should anyone ever listen to you when you obviously discredit the significance of pregnancy? why should a pregnant person trust you when you belittle a massive decision and call their growing baby insignificant & a cancer? idk man. i'm not blaming anyone, i just. maybe think about it for a few minutes before you call a fetus a smeared shit stain. okay?
! i am staunchly pro-choice ! this is not a condemnation of abortion ! abortion should be easily accessible to all people !
#maybe i'm just more sensitive because of past experiences but#idk man#it's not accomplishing anything to talk about fetuses that way#and it's really polarizing#what are you hoping to accomplish?#what other ways can you accomplish it?#what material impact do you hope to have?#and yes every example up there are things i've actually heard/seen people say about fetuses#and some of these things have been said directly to me to my face about my baby#they assume because i was a child i must have been glad to miscarry and think it okay to be absolutely vile#but i grieve every day every day every day even over a decade later#and every day every day every day for the youngest#both pregnancies if i had carried any longer would likely have led to abortion bc my body cannot and that still would have devastated me#so maybe i'm just sensitive but think about how common these situations are#these are sensitive topics and i wish folk would understand that#i mean the bare minimum is just to not be an asshole yk?#like who are you helping?#it's not me it's not struggling soon to be mothers it's not people grieving for a baby they can't carry to term#hell it's not even folk who desire an abortion or people who don't think twice about it#you're helping no one and hurting and pushing away a hell of a lot of people in the process#i'm tired#the grief is so heavy today
9 notes
·
View notes
Note
Do you agree that Jason, as written by Winnick in UTRH and Lost Days, acts out of character post-resurrection if we take into account his post-crisis robin days? If yes, how would you have him act/react to stuff after he comes back from the dead?
tldr: i definitely agree. moreover, classism plays a huge role in it, and i don’t think that at this point the storyline could lose these implications, which makes trying to conceive what an “in character” (for robin jay) version of these events would be quite difficult.
let’s just start from saying that i don't think it's a secret that i don't really like winick in general. despite his work being mad interesting on a conceptual level (and style-wise, genuinely well written!), he has no love for the characters he writes about.
imo utrh shouldn't even ever make it into the mainstream batman timeline. i am aware that this is a radical opinion, but my take is that it would do best as an elseworld story (and in this version too it would need some tweaks here and there), because it made damage both to the mythos of batman and jason's legacy that can never be undone. the very premise of the story is so deeply disconnected from jay's original place in the narrative, and so classist at its roots, that there's not much room to truly fix it.
(i want to say, preemptively, that i am aware that there are people who read utrh as a story of a revolutionary and a victim – and they have the right to do so, but ngl, my view has always been that it was never written as that. utrh reinforces so many stereotypes that it overshadows the revenge tragedy spirit of it all.)
another disclaimer is that, to be honest, jay doesn't have a very consistent characterization even in his 80s run, and it also has some classist implications that ideally should be either erased or addressed in the text (that winick instead exaggerated and put at the very front of his storytelling.) starlin's writing is, at the end of the day and very much ironically, more sympathetic and gentler in evaluating jay (simply because at the time he would not get away with changes too blatant) but details such as jay saying that "all life is game" and his random nonchalant behaviour that has its origin in the very beginning of starlin’s run are already signs of it. some readers will trace jason's arrogance prevalent in his red hood era to these issues and say that his actions post-res are therefore a logical extension of his robin days, but i don't buy it. even if you want to lean into starlin-esque characterisation, if you consider the core problem of the garzonas plotline – which is power, jay shouldn’t look into the solution of anything in climbing to the top. and if he did, it would have to be written as a “becoming what you feared/hated most” kind of story, which i can see a certain appeal in (and which would at least acknowledge that it was not his initial personality), but which would go back to its classist assumption of cycles of violence and doomed fates.
so – how to make his post-res era more accurate to his post-crisis robin days (and least classist in the process)?
if we were to follow my fav iterations of his characterisation (barr’s detective comics and the ntt appearances) tbh I don’t think a lot would happen, because his personality is quite mild, and just so hopeful there that i wouldn’t expect any extreme actions from him – but then again, the circumstances that he finds himself in post-res, the trauma, and his sensitivity do warrant grief that should become a driving force in his life from now on. the question is, what to do with this grief as a plot device?
i know that plenty of jason fans hate this take but I actually think the concept of jason trying to be detached and cruel but being bad at it might be one of the least offensive to his 80s characterisation. it’s def not accurate to pre-52 canon (apart from countdown perhaps) but imo for jay to be authentic and nuanced he should be conflicted about his own actions. his overconfident behaviour should be a pose – just as his frantic acts in his origin story as robin were. (again, something that many readers don't take notice of – but reading the rest of collins' writing wherein jay quickly settles into being easy-going and even a bit shy is proof of it.)
these two points lead to the “no good deed” narrative that I often talk about - the reading that jason saw his intuitive and self-sacrificial kind tendencies as something that brought him pain and that never was quite efficient, and that post-res he intentionally tried training himself out of. there are some flashes of it here and there throughout the years of the red hood publishing history, but it never got a true spotlight. and if i were to write lost days, jason flinching at his own violence would be a focal point of the story.
moving on to utrh; i have spoken about it at length before but I think if he were written 1. with more political sensitivity 2. to have retained the same maturity re: the social order 3. to have the same idea of morality, he should have followed more of actual revolutionary tracks and the whole “drug lord” authoritarian figure schtick along with the idiotic idea of “controlling crime” would have to be thrown out of the window.
and, later on, forgiveness should play a big role in his story. he's so quick to forgive and justify everyone in his robin run – this is also why i reckon his team up with harvey in tfz was a wasted opportunity.
so, in conclusion – perhaps not that much would have to change re: his actions but definitely a lot should change regarding his emotional journey and his position. i would def throw out a lot of mindless violence and power posturing out of it though. and perhaps make him a bit more polite just for the sake of more consistency (this is not me taking a moral stance btw nor tone policing a fictional character. i just think it would be more faithful to his 80s writing unless you want to make him explicitly scared. and it would be funnier tbh.)
#i think i have written some about it on my old blog#but i'm too lazy to look it up and also i got a lot of hate because of that#i also had a longer post talking about how it can be fixed *now*#anyway i want to say.#i do enjoy jason acting feral i do.#and i do want to allow people to enjoy whatever they do#but you simply can't look at jason's characterisation post-res and lie and say it's not a classist caricature#so maybe i am judging people who don't see any problem with it a bit <3#and despite my love for cyclic narratives#i do want better for him. and i do want him softer and more mild-mannered#not because i am tone policing people nor because i think anger is not warranted#but because i think it's clear that the source of it in his writing#is not anything revolutionary. it's the opposite#like idk make helena more full of rage or whatever#this was not jay's original place in the narrative.#it was the opposite actually. and i miss him so bad dear god i do:(#anyway i think it's hard to think of him post-res in character also because when i think of what is in-character#i also consider what (as i said) the place in the wider narrative was#and jay's death already ruined it mostly#for it to be regained he would have to start anew as a civilian OR as better batman in crime alley i think#sorry for so many tags.#this is such a delightful ask thank you <3#dc#jason todd#jay.zip#jay.txt#outbox
88 notes
·
View notes
Text
The irony being Crimson would have left in the morning if Julien HAD married her. girl does not give a single fuk about being queen either. sure she enjoyed the perks, but in a "is it that sweet? i guess so" way
#5am crimson thots#i say this as someone who initially thought crimson wanted to be queen!#bc why did she want to marry him after ditching every other bf right?#but the more we learn about crimson#i see too much proof she could not give less of shit about being anyone's queen#i always knew she was dating kj to get clover's goat but what's so funny and weird is that's really ALL there is to it#the ONLY thing that made julien different from her other bfs (before the wedding fiasco)#is that clover liked him.#(the fact that clover has to be the target of crimson's most toxic brainworms yet can't talk about it#bc crimson pretends the insanity is not happening while making silent 'i know YOU know' faces at her the whole time#... SICK!)#and the horrendous irony that kj created new worse problems by choosing not to compromise himself any longer#life is cruel.... :(#part of why she gets obsessed w kj is she was unable to complete her pattern / close the loop#txt#lemur thoughts#crimson#crimju#crimclo
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
There's been a bunch of these going around but none with the options I'd pick so...
#not including any from the new series because frankly it would make narrowing down to ten impossible#and DS9 is mostly saved by the bits I find objectionable being parts of longer arcs rather than specific episodes#(could talk at length about the jem hadar but smarter people than me have done so with better nuance)#honourable mention to DS9's The Storyteller and The Passenger#which have more redeeming factors than most listed here but I personally just can't watch#star trek#tos#tng#voyager#enterprise#ds9
106 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#tw suicide#no seriously heed the tw this is probably upsetting i just. i need to say it somewhere and i will not say it to my family.#puddleglum hours#personal#its just i was thinking.#tother day the doctor asked: do you regret it? about the suicide attempt tuesday night.#and i said something that i still feel: if i regret anything about it it's that i didn't succeed.#they're talking of discharging me tomorrow or something and im just.#what do i need to do to be kept in for longer?! damn it all i *know* how i could kill myself in here.#but i don't want to. i need them to save me#because i can't save myself! if they discharge me tomorrow i think it very likely ill be dead before the end of the week! or at least in#hospital from another attempt! this new med has made me more numb but the thoughts haven't gone away just muted. and then.#at times like this im perfectly wild about it! i cannot keep myself alive i need them to do it for me!#but when ive seen the doctor each time its been when im exhausted and numb and i don't care but that is not the case always.#i don't know. i don't see a good outcome any which way.#hopefully tomorrow the doctor sees me at a time when im feeling like this i think.#because i think i need to tell them. but i don't know how or even if it matters#and sometimes i just want to die.#im so tired of living guys. why#editing to add i am still on hiatus and if you want to contact me and know my discord contact me there#so i will not be responding to anything here for this moment at least
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
neurotypicals are so frustrating,, i keep forgetting that "can you do x" means "go do x"
#yesterday i was At Work#i opened alone (we are so fucking understaffed)#at like 945 (coworker came in at 10) these two women-#who until now have done NOTHING managery. they have walked around and talked to each other and asked questions#come up and in a pissy voice like um why hasn't group started#i say i'm the only one back here#'well can't you start ONE group?'#no...im the only one back here#'can you start individuals?' yeah i'll ask [host lead]#(annoyed voice) 'um why do you have to ask her?' because i'm not a lead so she's in charge?#(angry voice) well WE are GENERAL MANAGERS and we are TELLING YOU to do SOMETHING like START INDIVIDUALS#like. chill i am literally just some guy and i am the only guy back here#i also feel its worth noting that apparently since they caught me in the hallway they assumed i hadn't been doing anything#when in reality i hadnt sat down since i got to work. all i did was doing things. there is more to my job than Watch Dogs. especially when#im the only guy doing any of the anything#and i couldnt start individuals immediately because i had to do spot cleans. because i prioritized Not Letting Dogs Sit In Their Own Shit#before dog getting some playtime#like. yes i am a Lower Level Employee. yes i havent worked here that long. but i have worked here longer than you#and im gonna take a wild guess that i care about the dogs more than you#also worth noting that i got no breaks that day (if you work a 6+ hour shift you get a 30 and a 15 at my work)#so i sat down for a total of 5 minutes and that was to take a piss#for context. i worked 7 hours. 6:15am to 1:15pm.#so i have a Bad Feeling about these new general managers. really hope im wrong and this is a one-off thing but. ohhhhh boy
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
What does a man have to do not to live in constant dread
#this is about school#mostly#i hate it here chat#what am i to do#someone.....if you have any advice... please#i have an oral test tomorrow i have to learn by heart two texts in chinese and learn 100 new vocabulary words#help. drowning#literally#can no longer keep it up#for the record I'm demotivated because my efforts never take me to satisfactory results#and yea sure nothing changes overnight#but like. I've been trying for at least 8 years now? aren't things supposed to get better after a while I'm trying?#I've tried changing methods eh#anyways. unsatisfactory results. and it gets frustrating because I feel so disappointing because I know before starting that I won't be abl#to do The Thing. get to complete homework? memorise something? BE ABLE TO FUCKING TALK LIKE A NORMAL PERSON WHO KNOWS HOW TO TALK???#you name it. i just can't do it#in school specifically but outside too#only outside of school i don't whip my ass about it because who fucking cares#but this is something that will influence my future chances of getting jobs too#like i cant talk the way i do in a job interview nobody's going to think i have basic communication skills or even basic human skills at al#ah nevermind it's fine#I'll find a way#some day#i guess#the unsilly
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Get more info and/or play the Twine game hosted by @/truffyfest here!
The Devil card is the worst ending by the way; set during the Blackbeard vs Heart Pirates fight, it's gore and death and just overall no one is having a good time out there (except me). Very much Dead Dove; Do Not Eat (and it would be worse than it is in the Twine). Just so you know before casting your vote ahaha
The Devil Reversed is the good ending of the same scenario. No gore no death, complete with a cute bonus time-skip.
(Also by reworking I mean editing it so that it can be read as standalone and without the context of the Twine)
#one piece#lawlu#lulaw#one piece poll#merging the two endings would be SO much work btw xD the devil itself is i think like 3k?#devil reversed is over 8k in total#AND i would have to add the choices to make it branch off and merge well enough#on top of making the edits to actually make it make sense outside of the twine#if i ever get the energy to do it at all (whatever the result is) it would take. a while. but that much longer if i merged#it's funny when i decided to do the devi reversed ending#i didn't want ANYONE AT ALL to know it was there and let people find it#but then no one talked about it and you can't see any stats on how many people actually did find and play it and i'm just like :((( now xD#while also yelling at myself how that was the point and wtf was i expecting ahaha#gotta love my anxious depressed burnt out brain 🤍#katie pretends to fic#oh no a poll#truffy twine#twine game
5 notes
·
View notes