#i cant even break down fully because im sharing an apartment and when i break down i get kinda loud and cry a lot

[kittykatinabag]

I think the thing that pisses me off most about my graduate university is that since I am an international student, in order to take this program I can only take it as a full time option.

For a normal, neurotypical person this isn't a problem. But I am not a normal neurotypical person, I am a very mentally ill person (probably more so than I let on to be) who's been absolutely broken by the last 6 or so years of existence and currently cannot handle a full course load without spiralling into depressive episodes and anxiety attacks.

But I can't take this program part time. Because then I can't stay in the country. It's such a fucked situation. Honestly it's probably discriminatory too, but I highly doubt the neoliberal state even recognizes disability brought on by mental illness even if their own documents acknowledge it.

Society in general will be all like "uwu it's okay to not be okay!" until the moment you say that you're not able to produce like an average person and then suddenly you're on a performance improvement plan or you quit your job because the thought of working like you used to makes you horribly nauseous and suicidal. But I might be projecting a bit here.

Long story short I'm not having a good time working on my final assignments right now and I don't think even if I ask for extensions it will help anything.

[dwntwn-strnlo]

JEALOUSY, JEALOUSY chris sturniolo

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 𝓈𝒾𝓃𝒸𝑒𝓇𝑒𝓁𝓎, dwntwn-strnlo.

↳ 𝐀/𝐍. --

↳ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. christopher sturniolo x reader

↳ 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘. request!

↳ 𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃? yes! . . . "maybe do one that he gets jealous of u wearing Matt's jersey at one of their games and says he has feelings for u?!?" . . . @/Spider-Man200300 on Wattpad!

"im losing it,

all i get's,

jealousy,

jealousy"

time only seemed to slip out of your hands when you realized what time it was. thanks to the obnoxious honking outside of your apartment. you got so distracted just sitting there scrolling on your phone, that you didnt even realize it was already 6 o' clock.

the triplets are picking you up before their lacrosse game today, and you completely forgot about it.

you quickly grab the first jersey you see, not really caring if it belongs to chris or matt, and throw it on over a blue crew neck.

hopping into the backseat next to nick, matt and chris turn around to look at you.

chris playfully scoffs, eyes darting over the number 4 lain atop of your white jersey. "wow okay y/n. i see how it is."

matt laughs, triumphantly smirking at his brother before turning around in his seat to dap you up. "see, i always knew that you were a matt girl."

"well youre wrong." nick smirks, crossing his arms over his chest. "she's actually a nick girl."

you sigh, nodding. "yeah... hate to break it to you boys, but hes right. im a loyal nick girl."

"sure, sure." chris teases, turning back around to fully sit in his seat. staring blankly at your house. but what you don't see, is the creeping frown that tugs at the corners of his lips.

throughout the entire game, chris would turn to look in you and nicks direction. but you could never really tell who exactly he was looking at due to the large helmet atop his head.

it wasnt until he had his helmet off because their coach huddled everyone up for a timeout, that you realized it was in fact you that chris had been looking at. clearly ignoring everything his coach was saying; staring harshly at you. but still quick to look away when the two of you make eye contact.

during half time, you and nick made your way beneath the stands to get something from the snack bar. hunger eating away at your insides as you stood impatiently in the line.

"y/n."

the quick, but intent murmur of your name scares you enough to make you jump.

you and nick turn around hesitantly to find chris standing behind you. his expression is blank, and he has what seems to be another bunched up jersey in his hand.

"chris, arent you supposed to be in the locker rooms?" nick furrows his eyebrows, crossing his arms over his chest. "the hell are you doing back here."

chris blatantly ignores his brother, instead keeping his eyes glued on you. "why are you wearing matt's jersey?"

you cant help but let out a small laugh. but immediately you feel bad when you see his expression drop. letting whatever wall he had up, fall. "i dont know, chris. i was in a rush and just grabbed the first one i saw. and it doesnt matter anyways- i always wear both of your jerseys throughout the season. you know that."

he sighs before handing you the bundled up jersey. "just . . . wear mine."

you and nick share a quick look, and you find him attempting to hide an awkward smile.

"why?" you ask, hesitantly taking the jersey out of chris' hands."

he sighs again, quickly running his hands down his face before turning his gaze back to you. "just wear it, please. and you have a crew neck on anyways, so you can do it now."

nick gasps. or like half gasps. some cross breed between a gasp and an exerted chuckle escapes his throat. but hes quick to throw his hands up to his mouth. you and chris both look at him as his eyes dart between the two of you. "youre jealous!" he laughs, staring pointedly at his brother.

"what?!" chris shouts, throwing his hands up in the air, taking a step back.

"im . . . im gonna go find madi. . . ." nick chuckles, before quickly leaving the two of you.

you bite down on your lip, fighting back a smile before meeting christophers panicked gaze. "you're jealous. . . ." you tease.

"no, im not." he narrows his eyes. clearly not finding any humor in the situation.

"i like you too, chris." you smile.

"what?"

you let out a gentle laugh, taking a small step toward the tall brunet. "i like you too, kid."

a smile tugs at the corners of his lips. "ill believe you when youre not wearing my brothers jersey.

TAGLIST

@slvt444smvt @thetriplets3 @theboyz-delulu @stxrniqlo

[darlingdarlingdontlookhere]

omo Imagine based on a prompt i did awhile ago. cw diapers mentioned at the end. dom/sub undertones, but theyre not sexual :p enjoyyyy:

character a is squirming in their chair, super focused on playing their game. Meanwhile character b is sitting on their bed, on their phone, watching.

B: A, hon, can you stop squirming so much, your chair keeps squeaking.

A: sorry i'll stop

a little bit later it picks up again

B looks up to their partner, A is bouncing with a serious look on their face, brows knit together tightly, they let out a few huffs and whines everyso often.

B giggles at their predicament, its so obvious.

B: are you alright A? need a break?

A: *huff* no im ok.

B: you sure?

A: mhm, just focused. need to finish.. this.. mmh.

B: ooook,

A continues their game, and time passes by

the creak of the chair is more frantic, A changes positions every few minutes, twisting their legs together like a pretzel.

A: oooooh....

B watches but doesnt say anything, curious at how far this will go.

the huffs and whines and moans become more consistent, and from what B can see, A doesnt seem to be winning very much.

just as B opens their mouth to tease A, the creaking suddenly stops

A gasps and suddenly jumps up and throws off their headset onto their desk, jumping from foot to foot as they untangle themselves from their gaming desk.

A: ohhhhh!! mmm!!!

A runs out of their shared bedroom, and b goes to follow them.

the door to the bathroom is open, and little droplets create a trail down the hallway. in the bathroom A struggles and dances in place with the tie on their white shorts, a small yellow wet patch staining them

B: looks like you need help?

A looks up in surprise, trembling and bouncing in place

A: i- i cant hold it- help please-

B looks down at the knot on their shorts, bringing gentle hands to slowly pick it apart,

A: pleeeeease hurry-

B: you gotta still your potty dance if you want me to get this done fast

flustered, A tries to keep as still as possible, unfortunatly they keep leaking, dribbles coating their striped socks dark, and their white shorts a glistening yellow

b: look at how bad you need to go...

A: mmmmmmm i gotta peeee

B giggles to themselves as they pull apart the knot

B: done~

A gasps, but as they go to pull down their shorts theyre filled with an overwhelming urge. they hold themselves and can let go without the fear of fully wetting, more leaks pool down their legs

A: ohhhhh!!!

B swoops in and ushers them into the shower carefully

A: ah!

just in time too, A completely loses control at this point, pee patters on the tile as A gives out whimpers of relief

...

A: i- im sorry- i just wanted to finish my game- i just kept getting distracted...

B: you told me you were fine when I asked,

A: cuz i was... I thought i could hold it...

B: maybe if you need to be told to use the bathroom, you should go back to potty training.

A: !! huh?? no way- im not a kid- its a one time thing-

B: really now?

B gets closer to A's ear

B: Because i've seen the yellow spots in your underwear when I do laundry.

A: ...

B giggles and looks up at A with mischief, taking a's hand and caressing it gently, signaling they're just teasing and A can opt out whenever they want. A blushes and looks away flustered, squeezing B's hand in response. B continues with the encouragement

B: maybe I should put you back in pullups if you don't even remember when to go pee hm?

A: huh!!!!! i- i dont need those- im a grown adult

B: some adults need protection too, darling,

B boops a's nose,

B: now lets get you cleaned up.

A: ok...

[mrsnancywheeler]

Hi hi hi ok ok so like, ive been obsessed eoth Phoebe Bridgers recently while writing my own song and stuff since i get to write a report on like a bunch of different artists for college and im including her in it.

But what i cane to say is that Billy and muse FULLY remind me of Moon Song.

More specifically the lines

"You couldn't have. You Couldn't have. Stuck your tongue down the throat of somebody. Who loves you more. So i'll wait for the next time you want me. Like a dog with a bird in its mouth"

Like i dont know of it makes sense?? But like it just reminds me of them because of the fact that like this part of the song is practically talking about the denial of the idea of someone wanting another. Like, the relationship is unsteady and theres always that chance that someone else will come along (in this case other groupies) who would take away that attention or love or what ever it is. And then the dog analogy too?? Because the verse ends with a 'mm' to replicate the sound of a dogs whimper and begging to just get loved by another. Like the dog is a sign of trying to stay loyal, trying to stay devoted even going as far as bringing back a token to win what was had before back into their life (the bird).

AND AND THEN THERES THE LINES OF

"But now I am dreaming. And your singing at my birthday. And ive never seen you smile so big"

Like she's litterally trying to imagine things where better than they are. But in relation to Billy and muse, i fully interpret this line as muse's naivety at the very VERY beginning of it all and before that cycle starts back up. Like she's imagining things will be okay, things will work out and that it was 'just this once' or something like that.

But then theres also the line:

"But you're holding me like water in your hands"

Basically aluding to the fact that every time Bully has betrayed muses trust, it causes that break to happen and for her to fall apart all over again, just like water would when someone tries to hold it, it falls through the cracks and pours out of the palms.

Im probably like thinking wayyy too much into this but like I just wanted to share my thoughts haha. Also love your writing, like i cant express how many nights ive soent just re reading and re reading because my god it is so good. Anyways bye byeee

YES THIS IS SO REAL (again I'm humbly asking for forgiveness for taking so long 🥺)

muse knows very quickly that there will always be other girls, groupies, that he'll use to make him feel like he's not tied down, that he hasn't shared his feelings with someone, his love. and she's desperate for him not too, to put it behind her when he shows any morsel of wanting him. and whenever things have been good and she can slowly see him falling into old habits after saying something he feels is to revealing, too commiting, she's desperate for him not too. she gets clingier, tries to praise him more, offer him more sexual favors, anything to try and stop him. but one, her trying so hard shows she cares which reminds billy why he loves her and he doesn't want to think about that, two she's not letting him detach easily which makes it an annoyance, and three it's easier to snap than to admit wrongdoing. muse really does remind me of a puppy dog, coming around with big puppy dog eyes, snuggling up begging to be pet, whimpering for attention, any bone thrown she'll fetch and bring back.

muse totally convinces herself the first few times that it was just once, well a couple missteps, but it'll be alright. there's a whole future of good things, right? and he feeds enough into the illusion that the picture is almost complete before he starts to tear the photo up.

yes, yes, yes, eventually the water will slip through every crack possible, leaving only droplets also searching for escape, it might not happen quickly, but he provides the cracks and even if she's desperate to stay, each meltdown brings her closer to emptying his hands.

i love it when y'all think into it, it's so beautiful to have a community to overanalyze things with the silly little characters I've created in these universes, and I love it 💋 thank you so much for sharing, and that's literally the highest compliment. stuff like that keeps me writing because I'm so glad you can find enjoyment in it and re read and re read, I'm glad to share my thoughts and for them not to just be mine. bye!! ❤️

[jupitercl0uds]

ive just been reminded of stuff oh no

if youve read most of my posts since like mid august, maybe september onwards, youll know that i am STRUGGLING rn. while its been all over the place, having highs and lows, i seriously havent been this bad since 2020/21. i know the reasonable thing to do is take a break, but i cant do that because i have pitiful impulse control atm. that being said, the only thing to really stop me is to deactivate. my main blog's been going for years now, so i dont want to lose everything, though i also get the urge to occasionally.

the issue is, the only times i actually feel almost fully comfortable in a social circle is on tumblr and even then im still scared and awkward. my school friends keep saying really hurtful stuff and while a lot of it is just as a joke, theres almost no time to be serious with them. ive tried. i weakly asked them to stop calling everything retarded more months before finally putting my foot down and demanding, although it took a month of 'retard! whoops, i shouldnt say that' before they just went straight back to it.

my family loves me but i dont like it here. i dont think i even can get into it because its complicated. just know ive seen and HEARD a lot over my short life and its finally starting to catch up to me.

as for the other kids in my school, im in an awkward spot. im honestly fairly 'normal', just with slight outbursts from time to time, but ive always been weird so i always will be. oh, year 9 me, how naïve you were. they don't care if you have an autism diagnosis, if you mask or not, you will NEVER be normal, you will NEVER be accepted and they dont care if theres a reason. if anything, that makes it worse.

im only ever happy when im on tumblr or doing something sonic related. on tumblr, im insecure that nobody really likes me or someone's going to manipulate me, with no amount of reassuring being enough to change that. and as youve already seen me say, sonic is 'too childish', no matter how heavy the themes can be.

this always happens. pre-2020, i didnt really use social media much and i was 11 oldest, so my main escape was roblox/youtube. in 2020-22, i was only happy when chatting to friends on discord. that was ruined when we all started to argue and drift apart. in 2022-23, it was tiktok. this was then ruined when popular kids found my silly waluigi tiktoks and started sharing them around. i havent used tiktok since june and i havent posted a public video since may.

but then, last year, i remembered i had a tumblr account. i started to use it more. and then, when sonic got involved and suddenly i was becoming friends with people, i started to feel my absolute happiest. i was euphoric.

until, of course, my brain struck.

if my birthday werent at the end of august, i think i would be much worse than i currently am, because at least i had a short break to be happy. school was off to a bad start from the very beginning. i didnt sleep the night before my first day, nor did i sleep before the second. what's worse, mum didn't let me stop working at the charity shop i had THOUGHT was for the summer, because, you know, i dont have anything on my plate, im able to just have a designated day of the week where i have to be productive. nope! ive had my days off, but ive still had work every week. is it hard? no! do i have the spoons to go most weeks? also no!

thats not to mention exams. ive always been a well performing student and will be surprised if i fail even 1 gcse, but im not the top of any of my classes, not even the ones im passionate about. no, i dont have to be, i know, but when you grow up as a kid who often IS the top of their year in something, the moment you aren't, you feel like a failure. even if i get all 9s and a d* in drama, there'll be someone who gets more than me in something, and i know i definitely wont get all 9s and a d* in drama. i was proud for a moment, for being top of english, until i found out a girl ive known since primary got a 9 in an english language mock. english language. my favourite english and the subject im best at. needless to say, i was miserable. i barely even slept across the course of my mocks and wont be surprised if i do the same for my gcses.

i sometimes wonder if im just not built for the world, which could honestly be the case. because i have low support needs and my biggest problems are sensory issues (which can be easy to prevent) and social problems, i forget im even allowed to be disabled by autism. but i think that honestly might just be the case.

ive always wanted to be a teacher or an animator, hopefully both, but im starting to wonder if i can do either. animator has such a big workload. teacher also has a big workload, but i know because my family is full of teachers and artists that it's the kind of workload i can manage. but the kids? could i control the kids? could they even take an autistic, nonbinary teacher seriously? again, i dont have high support needs, but its hard not to notice im autistic. of course, if everything goes to plan, i would probably start teaching in the 2030s earliest, 2050s latest, so the world will have changed, but how much?

i get most of these are problems out of my control, but i suppose im just scared and tired of living. that's why i make a million posts a minute: i cant get a word in edgeways with anyone else. that's why i get so apologetic: id get ridiculed for trying otherwise. i get that im annoying and boring. i should know. when i was 3, my dad infodumped about back to the future to me for about half an hour and it was such a tiring experience that it still gets brought up. so i get it, it's annoying when all i care to talk about is sonic. but its the one thing i can care about right now. the world is in ruin and i hate being alive. i dont even have enough motivation to act upon any occasional suicidal/self harming thoughts.

but life goes on and there's no way to stop it.

[ohleander]

9.8.22

Another morning of skim writing. There doesnt seem to be as much in my brain as there was yesterday but I'm still going to write. Yesterday I gave myself a really great pep talk on the way to work in the car. Its kinda nice to talk to myself and reassure myself. The place where I want to be and the place I'm at now really might not be so far apart but more than anything I just want a giant gift of money to help boost me where I want to be. Its definitely kinda.. frowned upon to wish for money so much, but I really just want to work at home, create a great homestead and make art all day.. maybe travel.. treat all my loved ones.. invest in young folks, send the kiddos in the family to college. I really dont feel like my desire to get a huge chunk of money is rooted in laziness or greed. I want it so I can do good things with it. I want it so I can use it, not have it, hoard it or take advantage of others. I'm working on healing my relationship with money. I've always had the feeling that liking and enjoying money was taboo or that it might spark the greed-monster or the frivolous monster but I really dont think so. I think it would help spark comfort and creativity in me. I spend so much time working, and I am grateful for that, but its hard to create in the patterns I'm currently in.

The messages I keep getting all around me tell me I'm in the right place at the right time. I would just love to manifest a great cushion for me and my dad and my family. I dont believe what I want is extravagance, I simply want freedom and peace and I'm so willing to share that. I want to have enough money to be a giver. I suppose I should go ahead and be a giver so that giving big is easier. I'm always trying to be in alignment with what I want and its amazing how unclear I've been so far. Its amazing how hard it is to feel clear and be clear with my intentions. I guess my imagination is so big, my mind travels from one thing to the next. I'd love to manifest some focus, if thats the case.

I realized that a lot lot loooottt of my problems come from my very own self sabotaging tendencies. I really cant seem to recognize when things are good. I guess because I've been in survival mode for years and have really only just climbed out of it. I dont trust things yet but I really really want to. I realize that a lot of things I feel and think still rest within my body. I need to break these bodily cycles of anxiety. I never realize im in them, mentally, until my body is shaking and uncomfortable. I've thought my separation between mind and body is one of my autistic traits and I cant help but feel exercise will help. Exercise to get all the extra energy out of my body. Exercise as a stim instead of a routine or a method to get 'fit'.

More bodily things I'd like to start doing even though I'm afraid are taking cold showers and stimulating the vagus nerve with ice water and ice packs. I realize that while my brain wants to chill out, its my nervous system thats been having a hard time handling things.

I just want to reach a point of comfort and peace and stability. I will always be working and doing things no matter what, but the ends must be more beneficial to me. Its easy to be scared in this world, with all thats going on and the impending recession.

Another thing, at the end of the day, no matter who I'm talking to, its so great just to level with people. Information should be shared, the truth should be worked out and worked through.

I fully believe everything I've been through in the past 12 years has been practice and work for something 'bigger' and I'm always waiting on the 'BIG suprirse' but perhaps growth is slow.. perhaps im in the big and cant even see it.

Its the full moon and mercury retrograde time.. Its definitely a big time to hang back and reflect and integrate old things that come back for a second chance. Its a time to slow down but I do have a hard time slowing down.

I'm still always working so hard.. I'd love to have my house bought, no strings attached, debts paid, family with me and regular money coming in without my extra work. I want my work to be fun and what I choose it to be. So many people in this world have so much without having done as much (but thats awfully judgemental of me isnt it, I cant compare, I dont know them) BUT it sure seems like if some folks can have it all, then so can I. Without the guilt.

I will no longer sabotage the good things going on for me. I am ready to receive all of the good and great surprises that are coming my way. I'm willing to trust that things are going to be good, whatever opportunity I take. My distrust in things creates a shadow, a fog thats hard to see through. My distrust in things creates NO clarity.. I'm still working hard and I'd like to work less and receive more. Perhaps thats the key.. work smarter not harder. The divine balance isnt something thats mine to understand, I should just accept and receive whats meant for me and whats mine. My human perception of give and take and whats 'deserved' is so limited. The universe knows whats coming to me.

I am a co-creator with the universe, she is my partner in life and I love her.

LA

[oasis-for3v3r]

The Starr Experience-#

Ringo x Female Reader

Prompt/Request- Ringo being tired and stressed of always being pushed to the side. So the reader plans a (smutty)surprise for him. 

 Warnings- A lot lol, 18+ ONLY, slight dom Ringo, oral sex (f and m receiving), squirting, Sir Kink. Bad grammar

A/N- its a crime how little Ringo gifs there are. And I would like to dedicate this fic to @illfoandillfie​ for the wonderful advice for writing my first smut!

It always comes across his mind whenever there is an argument with the lads. 

The thought was simple;

How did he Ritchie Starkey go from being to the best drummer in Liverpool, to being “the drummer” or worse “the one with the nose.”  He was the oldest one, with the most experience! Why is it that he always gets pushed to the side while the others get all the attention and credit. Well George gets pushed to the side too but he gets by with his handsome looks. All of the girls that wanted him were either too old or too young and for the same reason: to baby Ringo Starr. 

He should be grateful, at least his fans don’t pick on his nose like the press did. Oh how cruel they were! But he just laugh it off. And then came the actual work of being in the Beatles, whenever they changed songs, took breaks, or wanted to fool around with different songs during rehearsals: he was there. Planted like a tree. Providing the beat of the Beatles. But he never gets appreciated for it.

Until he met you. He’d usually smile at this thought but he was so stuck in a rut that he couldn’t.

Thats when you began to notice at dinner.

“Richie?” you asked, concerned 

“Yes?” he responded in a monotone voice, normally people would think that he had an attitude, but you knew that was just his voice.

“Whats wrong, my beautiful”

“Nothing at all” he lied through his (wonderful) teeth.

“ Alright then, go to bed.” you ordered, to his shock

His eyebrows traveled to the top of his mop-top of a head and chuckled as he said “ Who are you, my mother?”

“As wonderful as Ms Starkey is, I am just a wife who has a surprise for her nosy lover but wont be able to show it because of your snooping.” You chided back.

“Alright fine” Ringo said simply, and went to your shared bedroom.

How odd.

(time skip because I suck at transitions)

Rays of sunlight woke up Ringo up, enough to know his surroundings but not enough to be snapped out his slumber.

You stood at the edge of the bed wearing a fuzzy hoodie, what was underneath it, however, was the surprise. You wore a two piece lingerie set, it was an iridescent baby pink, with dark pink little hearts on it. And if you turned in certain directions it was see-through. You wanted to cheer him up since he obviously wasn’t himself, you knew he was always pushed to the back to the side.

“Ritchieeee” you sing-songed.

“mmmmmmmm” 

“Darling wake up I have a surprise for you” That made him sit up straight like a soldier.

“Are we gonna sleep the day away?” He said, with glee sparkling in his blue eyes. 

“No” you playfully whispered while crawling into the bed with him.

“So..what are we...” he was cut off with the soft interruption of your lips on his. Kisses with Ritchie were usually stolen and hidden in public, puppy-love type kisses. However at home they were more passionate and yearning, like a teenagers first love. And although you were far from 16 every kiss with him felt as if your heart was tickling and gasping from the inside, 

Your eyes were fully closed savoring the kiss, while Ringo’s were half-lidded with pleasure. Your tongue was smoothly tracing over his bottom lip making him gasp and have his hands tangle in your hair and the other squeeze around your hips. You were about to take off his boxers when he pushed you away to breathe.

“Lovie whats wrong?” you hoped that you haven’t gone to far. 

“One, I need to catch my breath, Two, I want....” He said with a a smile that showed he was up to something.

“You want...” 

“Can I be Dominate today? Not like slapping you or tying you up in chains, just have you listen to me and be pleasured.” 

“Of course...Mr Starr” you said with a smile hanging on your lips.

With that his cheerful persona turned into a seductive one, his sky blue eyes somehow appearing darker and more vigilant. “Well then, take of that hoodie, and stand in front of the bed.” his voice still the same deep voice, sending shivers down your spine.

“Yes sir” you couldn’t hide the excitement in your voice.

He admired your body by tracing your curves with his fingertips, the rough callosed fingers from drumming making you even wetter. He (finally!) took off his boxers and angled his erect cock between your legs. He slid it up and down your slit, giving you soft yet sloppy kisses along your neck. He slid faster and faster giving your little bundle of nerves kisses “Perfect little slut, does everything she wants for me and only me, right?”

“Yes sir” you tried to say but was cut off between gasps as he thrusted against you.

“Tell me what you want my darling.” “ Please Mr Starr,I want it inside.” “No”

“pleasseeee sir”  you whined 

“ As cute as you look when you beg, I’d much prefer it if you did it with my cock in your mouth.”

He pushed you to your knees and slapped his cock on your tongue. “And maybe if your good I’ll reward you.” You stated to kitten lick his shaft, giving extra attention to his balls. His eyes were rolling in the back of his head. “Christ Y/N your mouth feels so fucking good.” You bobbed your head up and down trying to reach his base, so you just jerked the rest of with your hand. “Darling?” Ritchie said. “Mhmm?” You responded with doe eyes and a mouthful of his cock. He almost wanted to take a picture of his princess. “Can I face fuck you?”

“Of course Mr Starr.” Not even a second after he grabbed your ears and some of your hair (not to harsh) and began to face fuck your brains out. It felt so good, but it became messy trying to keep your jaw slack, with spit dribbling down your chin and titties. 

He stopped and made you stand, while pushing you back to the bed. 

“Not gonna cum in your throat, wanna eat you out as a reward.” 

When he heard no graditude he yanked your chin up and looked you in the eye.

“And what do we say when we get rewards?’“ 

“Thank you, Mr Starr” 

“Good girl.” He gave you a series of wet kisses going down your body. Then when he reached your soaking pussy, he spread your lips apart and began to lap at your folds and lick you open. It was the calm before the storm as he began to lick furiously at your clit. No matter how much your hips bucked or how you thrashed you the side, Ritchie’s mouth stayed firmly on your pulsating pussy. Shaking his head back and forth making you gasp every time and jerk your hips forward. Every jerk felt as if you were about to come. “Just like that, just like that” you said in quick breaths gasping for air. He was relentless giving your clit kisses with as if sucking off the tip of ice cream cone. Your ears were going red, and you came all over your loves face. Vision a bit blurry but muttered a “Thank you Mr.Starr” 

“ Your welcome princess” he gave you a sweet kiss before the slow torture of teasing you.

Rings slapped his cock against your pussy. This felt more dirty than the act it self. Every time he did it it was like hypnosis. I can be his little whore forever, never get out of this bed and just let him use me. Fuck You almost felt pitiful when he stopped. He spat on your pussy before entering at a painfully slow pace.

“Mr Starrrrrrr, I need you to fuck me please, I want you so bad.” It was so cute that you didn’t have to be told to beg.

Taking your word he began fucking you at the perfect pace, the most steady pace then hitting all the spots you didn’t even know you had. His hands on your hips guiding his thrust, while your feet were around your ears. Eyes were rolling in the back of your head. 

You felt a familiar pressure in the bottom of your belly, not one of cumming but of.. 

“Ritchie stop!” you said frantically.

“What’s wrong? Oh shit, did I hurt you?” He pulled out of you immediatly.

“It feels like Im going to ...piss” All you wanted to do was please Ritchie, and now you cant even control your bladder.

“ Darling look at me, your not going to piss your about to squirt.” 

“oh sor-”

“Don’t say sorry, just let it happen and look at me.” He began thrusting in that same fucking speed as if he never stopped. 

Your entire body began to shake and become hot as you came, clear liquid shooting out covering your thighs and his lower stomach.

“thank you so much Ritchie, I love you.”

“Thank you love, all I need is you” 

And he was right...he always was.

[thisdreamplace]

Im sad nd m feeling hopeless byond woeds. i feel directionless , alone nd..... very upset about everything in my life

Like yesterday i tried to talk to my mum abt somethng that was bothering me nd instead, she gets so much madder like she has high bp and her bp went up from yelling the crud outa me, like the only explanation other than eiyoo is she got defensive nd felt i was being ungrateful, i mean everyone else in the family stays silent and dont step forward i feel abandoned sometimes like maybe they're secretly glad shes not mad at them? Im sick of feeling this way. Idk if u know this feeling? Im not talking abt her my mum but i mean abt life in general? One real reason my mum is harsh is cuz im not doing well in life, like im not going places i want to (not literal places like metaphoricaly) bcuz of fear and social anxiety that no one ariynd me has a teeny idea of what its like. So im aware that she wants the best for me cuz i understand the everyone is u cincepf a bit. Even then its been years of same things nd issues repeating with me. For example m feeling like im gonna crack one day and when i break forever i don't even want to pick up my pieces!

Im so happy to hear ur doing wonderfully. Nd a part of me felt angry at it for a short while lol honestly like how come things are effortlesly going for u as u say, why cant i how can i experience it too, even tho my inner place is a nightmare place 😆 not a dreamplace like urs. I actually lov ur blog nd you lol dont mind me im just throwing out my thoughts, nd I fully understand how things weren't easy for u in the beginning nd everything u say on ur blog. Wish i could be brave nd not in my mind only

💀 nightmare place

i feel sad that you feel so down because life seems like its against you and you're feeling hopeless. its truly the worst to be in that sort of mindset, and i truly know you can find your way out of it. i'm glad you felt safe throwing out your thoughts here.

the truth of the matter is... the law can be difficult in the way that you really have to be willing to take responsibility for yourself. you really have to be willing to stop feeling sorry for yourself. you really have to be the one to pick yourself up and say, "enough is enough, i cant live like this anymore — i have to do better for myself." the truth is you have to want it more than you want to stay in your comfort zone. because if you dont, your comfort zone will always be waiting to invite you back in. and you will always answer the call. i would know, i lived like that most of my life. because the old way of life is comforting, its what youve always known so it makes more sense to you. you rationalize it, "this is the way things have always been." well guess what. it doesnt have to be that way. but i cant make you change your mind. only you can take that leap of faith.

you have to be willing to change before anyone and anything else does. no more waiting for life to treat you better so that you can finally feel good, you have to feel better with or without the help of the 3D.

when you say it made you angry to see how i'm doing well, i understand. i used to be similar. success stories were bittersweet. i felt happy for the person, but upset that i couldnt relate. why was everyone else able to make the law work in weeks and yet it had been months for me, and things just didnt seem to work ? why me ? that's the way i used to think.

well one day you'll look back at this type of moment and it'll all make sense. you seriously cannot keep being the same person, thinking the same thoughts and same feelings you have for years, thinking you'll get a new result. it's the opposite of what the law teaches us to be true. you've got to change and i mean really change. you must let the old story die and let the new story become your life, entirely.

you can brush off my struggle easily, but realize this. everyday i wake up and make the conscious decision to wake up and have a beautiful experience. a month ago i literally hit rock bottom; everything in the 3D i cared about so much seemed to fall apart. and i had to face that and still find the strength to say, "you know what, fuck this — i can't keep living this way." without the help of the 3D i had to pick myself up everyday, even when i felt like crumbling. i had more than my fair share of crying all day, of feeling like my heart would literally come out because of how hard i cried. considering that maybe life isnt for me after all, and perhaps i would be better off ending it there. i didnt have anything in the external world to give me hope. i had to find hope within myself. i had to look at a world that made me feel so ugly and decide its actually a beautiful world, despite the illusion. i had to take the law seriously, i had to surrender to the teachings, i had to make the art of imagining a daily practice because i decided i deserve better. and only i can give that to myself. the world cannot provide me with anything i refuse to provide myself with — this is the basics of the law. and through persistence, through not giving up on myself on the hard days, i am now singing a much more beautiful song.

when you fully accept that 1) imagining creates reality and 2) you are the only cause for all you experience... it becomes difficult to not take this more seriously. because you know how whatever you are/have within, is your experience. but you have to surrender to those truths, its up to you. i'd recommend listening to the podcast 'feeling twisty' if you're interested in what i'm saying here. mike is really the one who's explanation of the law helped me learn the importance of taking responsibility for my inner world.

im rooting for you sweet, dream place. behind the illusion of the nightmare, a dream awaits. 💖

[libraryofmegharoni]

The Traitor Queen (The Bridge Kingdom | #2) [Danielle L. Jensen]

started: May 08, 2021 finished: May 08, 2021 rating: 4.5/5

review:

so we got the utter heart break of Aren finding out about Lara's betrayal in the first book and we get the impact of it here.

i'll start from the beginning, which is where i partially have issue with. the book begins with Lara having fled Ithicana and Aren captured by Lara's father and in his compound in Maridrina. we get a brief kind of recount of what happened in the world between The Bridge Kingdom and The Traitor Queen, but just like how i was still kinda confused about how the world was set up in the first book, i was still a little confused about all the events that happened between the books. to be fair Jensen does a solid job of making me forget that i was confused in the first place. the couple time characters either reflected on the 'past' or were informed about the events that happened after Lara left Ithicana (or Maridrina at very beginning) it wasn’t the clearest explanations?? not the best way to phrase it but idk how else. like the writing was fine and understandable but i didn’t feel like there was enough explanation of the events between books to make me fully understand what happened. that's not to say there was nothing to fill in what happened, maybe im just (which is highly likely) because i just wanted more. ahh ok so i think the best way i can describe it is that there was a surface level explanation of the events that supposedly occurred between the first and second book but not anything more in depth in detail. which considering im a very detail person, i want to know everything there can be known, i want everyone's full history and actions and rationales and intentions and everything else about all the main characters. and i don’t think that it’s actually a fault of Jensen in this or the first book but it’s just what i ideally want out of a perfect book.

anyway other than me being a picky bitch and just wanting more when i like a book, broooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo it’s so good.

i mcfucking loved the tension between Lara and Aren after she organizes his rescue. but before that --

THE REST OF THE SISTERS.

one of the first things i said to my roommate when i was reading the first book was "i cannot wait until all the sisters come back and completely fuck up their father" anD GUESS WHAT??!?!?!?!

THEY FUCKING DELIVERED SO GODDAMN HARD

it was perfect that there was one sister who was super against what Lara did and came to Ithicana to murder the King and Queen (but ultimately failed and was killed by our Queen Lara). the rest of them living in small groups but never too far apart from each other - perfection, just perfection. them being 100% down to infiltrate their father's compound - beautiful. them willing to rescue the man they were all trained to hate and want to kill because Lara loved him??????? THE LOVE BETWEEN THE SISTERS - THE SHARED PAIN - THE RIDE OR DIE MOTHERFUCKERS THAT THEY ALL (minus the one Lara kills lol) FUCKING ARE -- I LOVED IT SO MUCH AND I WAS SO HAPPY IT PLAYED OUT PRETTY MUCH EXACTLY HOW I WANTED IT TO

i loved Lara sailing to Ithicana's island of Eranahl to talk to Ahnna about freeing Aren and her actually sailing there all by herself proved how dedicated she was to saving him. i just loved how the first book drives home just how terrified Lara is of the open sea and how it is the only thing that scares her and the only time she sails be herself in the second book (bc we know she fled from Ithicana by island jumping) is to save Aren.... and Ithicana but mostly Aren. its shown time and time again how much Lara came to love Aren and how much she was willing to risk or give up just to save him. TEH FUCKING ANGST      I LOVE IT  !!!!!!!

so yeah i just really love the dynamic between Lara and Aren in this book. they both know that they cannot continue to be together after Ithicana is free but they desperately want to. they've grown to love each other and despite Lara's betrayal, they both trust each other. but like for his country, Aren cannot recognize Lara as the Queen of Ithicana or his wife anymore. bro that scene broke me. it came right after Lara tried to leave Aren and he was essentially like "no it’s not safe here for you to go now, im keeping you with me". so yeah Aren having to admit that he doesn't recognize Lara as anything anymore HURT. and i loved how Lara was also hurt by that. they love each other so much but their situation and the world want to rip them apart :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

the final battle was confusing and seemed a bit fast but ultimately so satisfying. i guess it kinda started with the battle on Gamire Island when Lara got injured saving the life of Taryn, Aren's cousin she has befriended in the first book when she was Queen. also Lara saving her was just big proof to the rest of the Ithicana that she was there to fight to right her wrong and get their freedom back.

anyway so Lara gets injured and it was so sad to see how she knew she was seriously wounded but didn't believe that she was allowed to ask for help from the people whose lives she helped destroy and ended up going off on her own. it was so heartbreaking when Aren went to go patch up Lara and end up caving into sleeping with each other. he promised her that they were leaving in the morning and that she could rest then he went back to camp and realized that he could never leave her if he didnt in that moment and told them to get ready to leave - i started crying so much. bc when Lara woke up to everyone gone she thought that that was the plan the whole time and that Aren lied to her to leave her and then she was hit with the fact that it was Eranahl that was being attacked, and put away all her heartbreak and was determined to sail there to help against the Maridrina navy.

how she realized that it was her father on one of the ships and dueled him - so god damn hot. her swimming through the shark infested water to get to Aren????? ughhhhhh im crying. her up against the portcullis telling Aren to leave so he would live??? im crying even more. Aren desperately trying to save her bc he knows he cant live without her???????????? im bawling. her waking up in the bed she's familiar with?? im hopeful. Aren telling her about the trial by sea (and sharks) method used in Ithicana and how she passed so the sea has determined Lara is innocent and loyal to Ithicana????? IM BAWLING AGAIN  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i mcfucking knew that it had to end with Lara and Aren ending up together but i didnt know how it was going to happen. and while i wish the trial by shark thing was mentioned in the first book -- like the game they play at snake island with the running through the snakes and climbing up to the bridge and how that was called back to in the second book where Lara had to do the challenge to help free Ithicana. like that little game was a significant scene in the first book with Lara kind revealing her abilities with a bow and arrow and a little bit of Aren's recklessness, want to show off to Lara and how he was as a child. point it is served a purpose and it was a great scene and situation to call back to in the second book, but with more at stake this time. so i would have liked to see someone in Ithicana just mention the trial by sea idea in the first book. i mean when it was revealed i still teared up bc like yeah but i think it could have been a cool thing that was not quite foreshadowed but referenced at an earlier point.

tl;dr - the love between the sisters? perfection. the love between Lara & Aren? heartbreakingly beautiful and such a satisfying arc <3

[ivyuns]

love again ❆✰

lee minho

genre: angst / fluff 

word count: 2.4k

warnings: drugs + language + a bit suggestive + a few grammar mistakes (this was written at 5 am plz i cant) 

A/N: why do i keep having dreams of someone who i used to like :(

masterlist

nonidol!minho x fem!reader

taking a picture of the scenery of paris in front of you, smiling of how well it came out, a real smile this time. hearing a voice call out your name, you turn around as your smile dropped, seeing someone who you didnt ever wanted to see. lee minho was his name.

it started as you two were young and in love with each other back in high school. you two we known as the toxic couple. not because you two were bad for each other, but because you did everything together: drugs, alcohol, getting high, sex, you name it. other than those, you two had another side of being soft. the romantic dates and the funny days shared.

the time you two hung out as best friends everyday, making everyone in school thinking you two were couples. the night where minho took you star gazing late at night after having a fight with your mom and ended up kissing you and asking you to be his one and only.

til your mom found out that you did drugs and drank underage because of minho. she forced you to break up with him and you felt like shit. you called him to meet you at the park you two always went to and left the house to go see him.

arriving at the park and sitting on a bench with the winter breeze around you in your light cardigan. feeling something on your shoulders made you feel tense til you smelled where the owner of the jacket is. lifting your head up, a tear fell from your eyes. minho’s eyes soften as he took a seat next to you and wiped the tear away.

“y/n, whats wrong love?” minho asked. “m-min, we need to break up”. minhos eyes widened from your sentence. “b-baby what happen? is everything okay at home? please tell me”. sighing and standing up as you took off minhos jacket off of your shoulders and gave it back to him. “just know that i still love you forever and always and we’ll meet in the next life” and left him.

minho sat there in shock, not knowing what just happened. it felt like a big part of him just left him.

the next week at school, you werent at your seat. you were nowhere found in school. you were just laying on your bed, feeling total shit. feeling nothing to do but just cry to sleep. your mom made you do online school to stop you from seeing minho and his friends. you phone made another noise as you sighed. looking up to see your phone on your nightstand, you see 44 missed calls and 64 messages from minho. tears falling down even more, you ended up falling asleep with a worried minho waiting for you at school.

and that was the last time you ever saw him, you first and last lover. his cousin, who was your best friend had kept in touch with you and told you what minho had done during the breakup. inhaling and consuming drugs, overdosing on drugs, drinking more and going crazy while yelling your name and wanting you to come back into his life.

minho eventually got over the breakup in a year. looking at the memories you gave him, he had the urge to call you names you didnt like him saying. his cousin passed by his room and heard him saying things you hated being called. knowing it was about you since his cousin had knew you before minho so of course you told her everything.

feeling hurt and angry about what she told you, you felt yourself growing apart from him. why still love him after he called you those names? you gave yourselft sometime to heal and feel better about yourself.

now here you are now 3 years later, visiting your dream city, france. you always wanted to come here when you and minho were a bit older but things didnt work out.

turning around after hearing minho called you, he ran over to you. looking at your figure, he can tell you lost too much weight but still had the perfect brown eyes with your hair recently dyed to light brown and your fashion senses that changed. only with you in a black top and baggy tan pants with black converse. god how much did he miss you.

a few minutes after not talking, you figured he just wanted your attention after he searched you everywhere in paris when his cousin gave him updates on you. walking away from him, he quickly grabbed your wrist. “y-y/n, can we please talk?” you made him let go of your wrist and continued walking to your hotel.

minho quickly ran in front of you and stopped you. “please y/n, what did i do wrong?” you sighed and looked up at him. “maybe if you werent so psycho, you wouldve known.”

minho stood there and thought of what happened. was it when you broke up with him? no, it couldnt be your fault. when he called you more than enough? no. when he was about to propose to you and run away with each other? no way. you two broke things before he could even ask.

‘shit’ he thought. it made him realize. he was too angry at some point and called you names that you hated being called and point out your insecurities. he knew someone was outside his door at the time.

facing back reality, he sees you still in front of him. “figured out now, mr lee minho?” you crossed your arms and a little smirk formed on your face. even after years, you still cant stop loving him. minho takes your hand and drags you to a park to lay under the sunset, watching to stars as it turns dark. remembering from your high school days.

laying down with you in minhos embrace, you whispered a ‘i love you’ to minho and fell asleep after missing the warmth of minho. minho, who smiled after you fell into your slumber and pulled you closer to him. “i love you too y/n”

a few hours, you woke up to nobody in the park but you and minho in the dark. noticing you were still in minhos arms, you got up and woke up minho. minho opened his eyes and saw your panic face. “minho, where are we?!”

minho was fully awake now. looking everywhere, he couldnt remember where or how he took you to this area. “god minho if you werent such a dumbass. youre lucky that my phone works fine here” you said as you gathered your stuff and grabbed minho’s hand, forcing him to get up and follow to directions on your phone to where your hotel was.

minho just smiled and walked close to you. “you havent changed a bit y/n” he says. you stopped walking and turned around which resulted minho bumping into you. “youre really asking for a slap are you?” minho quickly shook his head a no and you turned around and began walking again.

-

opening your door to your hotel room, minho was full in daze. everything was decorated beautiful just for a hotel suite, or thats what minho thought it was. “you can sleep on the couch here, ill be upstairs if you need anything” you said and head upstairs where your room was after giving him an extra toothbrush and toothpaste and other necessary items.

“wait y/n!” he calls your name and you turn around to walk downstairs. stopping at he last step of the stairs, minho walks towards you. “can you actually stay down here. i-i mean like so we can catch up on stuff like you know?” you knew he just wanted you to stay down here since he couldnt be alone.

“ya, youre just trying love me again arent you minho?” you joked as you poked him. minho scoffed and went to sit on the couch. “as if”. walking towards the couch and sitting next to minho, you lift your legs onto the ottoman. “im just joking min, of course ill stay here with you” you say to him and looked at him with a happy smile. minho smiles also after hearing you call out his nickname youll call him during your relationship.

hugging you waist, minho leans towards you as you get lost in his sparkling eyes. he lays you down and kisses your lips. at first, you wanted to pull away, but after missing his kisses, how could you resist it? 

a few weeks had gone by and you two had returned to korea as a couple again. another 3 weeks and you moved in with minho after getting kicked out when she found out you found minho. with no hesitation, you facetimed minho about what happened and let his loving girlfriend move in with him.

moving your belongs into his apartment, you felt nauseous. going to the toilet to release the sickness, minho puts down a box and runs over to your side after hearing disturbing noises from the bathroom. “baby, what happened? are you okay?” minho says and tries his best to comfort you while he lifts your hair into a ponytail so its not in the way. “i-i think im-”

tears started streaming down your face as thoughts ran past your brain. what if he doesnt want the baby? is it too early? were still in our early twenties. you were cut off by minho hugging you. “its okay baby. we can check and see in the morning. lets go head to bed, i already got the last box.” nodding your head, minho leads you to the bedroom with his arms wrapped around you and your head on his chest, both slowly falling asleep.

waking up first thing in the morning, you turn and see minho still asleep. going to get ready to for the store. most importantly, for the pregnancy test.

-

walking back into the apartment, you immediately go to the bathroom and take the test. waiting for the test to give out the answer, minho wakes up to you not next to him. grabbing his phone from the nightstand, he goes to your contact and texts you.

my baby <3

where are u ?

hearing the familiar notification bell, he sighs as he realize you didnt take your phone with you. getting up, minho goes to the bathroom and sees you with the test in the palm of your hands. he goes up behind you and hugs you and to see the test come back with positive.

with the biggest smile on his face, minho turns you around to face him. “you dont know how happy i am y/n” “but minho, how are you not mad?” you pulled away from the hug with a confusion look on your face, “shhh, just pretend i wanted this to happen in the future when we dated.” minho back hugs you, facing the bathroom mirror.

you see minhos hands rubbing your stomach. “its been our dream to have kids and get married. and ta da!” turning yourself around, you hug minho at a better position. “thank you minho for loving me back and not leaving us, i love you so much”. minho leaned in and put his forehead on yours. “i love you more than you do baby” and gave you a loving peck.

END <3

yes another minho fic bc this was sitting in my drafts and i dont know where this was heading to hehe

[acerine]

Can I request a naruto x reader? Where she’s apart of team 7 and her and naruto was dating but they fight and break up. Which causes her to get depressed and develop an eating disorder and everyone gets worried when she shows up to train bc she looks sickly and her bones stick out badly. Just angst with happy ending? (You don’t have to write it if you’re uncomfortable with this topic. I suffer from anorexia and it’s hard to find stories on this topic. I do understand if you don’t wanna write it)

Hold Me

Pairing: Naruto x Reader

Warnings: Angst, eating disorder, like one cuss word

A/N: I don't have a problem with writing about disorders but I just get worried that i’m not portraying them properly, please reach out to someone if you are suffering. aaaand that ending wasn't as happy as I wanted but I think it works. 

I don't have much knowledge on anorexia so im so sorry if I didn't write about it properly. 

masterlist

uzumaki naruto

You groaned and plopped yourself on a bench near the entrance to the village, exhausted from the search for your boyfriend. He had dashed off immediately after training was finished without a word to you; again. You were getting worried due to how often this was happening, especially worried because he had been speaking to you less -- the only time you really saw him was during Team 7 training. You had asked Sasuke and Kakashi if they knew where he was going but they seemed to be just as clueless as you.

Looking up and seeing the sun set, you decided it was time to head home. He’d tell you whatever was troubling him eventually; you could only hope at least. “Nope -- don’t doubt him, he's never given you a reason to.” you softly mumbled to yourself, but the creeping heaviness in your heart told you otherwise.

As you walked through the village you felt your stomach grumble, the exhaustion from training and searching finally catching up to you. You decided to stop by Ichiraku’s -- it was on the way to your house and their ramen is rejuvenating, especially after gruesome training with Sasuke. shudder. He certainly gives training his all, the developing bruises were proof of that.

“Naruto that’s your 3rd bowl!” a voice giggled, bringing you back to reality.

Did they just say Naruto? Of course your boyfriend would be here! Why didn't you think of checking Ichiraku’s first? You quietly chuckled to yourself as you walked towards the voices, excited to finally see your boyfriend and share some ramen with him. But you certainly weren't expecting to see your boyfriend with his arm around Sakura nor did you expect to see how close their faces were

...

“Naruto...what are you doing?” your voice cracked slightly. Naruto and Sakura both halted their movements. Slowly he turned his head to gaze at you, “W-What are you doing here Y/n?”

Sakura looked guilty and avoided your gaze; immediately letting you know that she was aware of your relationship and what she was doing. “No seriously, what are you doing here with her?” you forced out, the strain in your voice becoming less evident, your anger overpowering your sadness.

“I was just catching up with Sakura, I haven't seen her since she started working with the other medical ninja!” He yelled out in an attempt to defend himself, his eyes darting away from you to his bowl. “Y/n calm down...it’s not what it looks like.” Sakura softly spoke. You scoffed, “Then why cant either of you look at me?”

No response.

After a minute of silence you had had enough, “Okay well don't stop on my behalf. Have fun with Sakura, Naruto.” Turning around, you began to walk away before feeling a grip on your upper arm, “Wait what's that supposed to mean?”

“Im pretty sure you know what it means.” Ripping your arm away from his grasp you sluggishly began your walk home, your body in pain from training and from your aching heart.

...

You closed the door behind you, locking it, and diving face-first onto your couch. The events from before finally registering in your head. Soft sobs began to fill the empty room and the couch pillows became stained with tears. What did she have that you didn't? You knew he used to have a crush on her when he was younger but you thought he outgrew it. Hell, you thought she had a crush on Sasuke, since when has she been interested in Naruto? Your mind was filled with questions.

Your stomach grumbled once again, this time louder than before. You didn't have the energy to get up and make yourself anything -- you weren't even sure if you even had food at home. Moving into a sitting position you glanced at the kitchen before getting up and heading to your room, you could eat in the morning after you slept off today’s events.

...

You woke up and slowly got ready for training; not mentally prepared to face Naruto after your break up. You felt a pang in your chest at the thought of his name -- making you aware of how difficult training was going to be. You sighed and began to make your way to the training grounds, taking a look at the kitchen. The last time you ate was yesterday morning but you felt fine, although the painful growl said otherwise. Shaking your head, you moved towards the door and left.

...

Naruto hadn’t showed up to training today. Kakashi said he had gone on a year training mission with Jiraiya. How convenient. They could both tell something was off between you two. “How about we cancel practice today? I think we deserve a day off.” Sasuke rolled his eyes at Kakashi, “And what are we supposed to do while you read a crappy book?”

“How about you two be actual teenagers for once?” Kakashi grumbled before heading off, leaving you and Sasuke alone with nothing to do. “Well since the moron and Kakashi aren’t here do you want to train with me?” Sasuke was pretty hardcore when it came to training — seriously, this kid did not know how to hold back. Training was life or death with him but you didn’t know what else you could possibly do on your free time other than wallow in your self pity, so you agreed.

Yeah, let’s just say you were better off moping in your room.

...

Your body felt so weak from training, the only fuel being emitted into your body came from a banana. You were constantly burning away calories and weren’t eating enough to refill them but you just couldn’t bring yourself to eat a proper meal. After finding Naruto and Sakura 12 months ago, you hadn’t felt hungry. Sure your body was weak and your stomach growled occasionally but you weren’t hungry. You hated how everyone said otherwise.

“Y/N are you sure you’re not hungry? You’re starting to look like a pile of bones...”

“Seriously, i think you should eat something.”

“Your movements are becoming sluggish, fix it.”

It was all you heard now. You felt fine. You looked fine. Why was everyone freaking out? Was it because you lost a bit of weight?!

Annoyed, you began to make your way to the meet Kakashi and Sasuke. Today would be the day Naruto returned and you just wanted to get it over with. Once you arrived all you were met with the usual concerned gazes from Kakashi, an indifferent Sasuke, but now you were met with a new pair of eyes. He looked good. Really good. 

Fuck, you couldn’t do this. “You know what...i’m not feeling too hot right now so i’m going to head on home.” Your words tumbling out as you spun around, ready to return the way you came. But your legs crumbled from underneath you, too weak to fully support you anymore. You could hear Kakashi and Sasuke’s cries of concern but you couldn’t focus on them, you could only focus on the one person you didn’t want to. “Woah, what’s wrong?!” Came his frantic voice — his arms capturing your frame before you could fully hit the ground.

Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me.

You knew he could feel your bones, your oversized shirt no longer able to hide your secret. His eyes hardened before picking you up and carrying you to your house. You felt so tired and it felt like this was a dream. Everything was so hazy and you couldn’t fully comprehend what was going on. Did you actually collapse at the training field or did you hallucinate that? You couldn’t tell anymore.

But his hold on you felt real. His scent smelled real. What was he doing carrying you, you two broke up because he decided to get cozy with another girl.

Before you knew it you were being laid on your bed, “I’m going to go get some food, just...wait for me okay?” His voice cracked. Why did his voice crack? “Yeah uh okay...” Why were you agreeing to what he was saying? You watched as he walked away from your room, “What is going on?” you softly mumbled to yourself, attempting to regain your sense of reality. Staring up at the ceiling, you didn’t realize how much you changed in the year that you two broke up. Yeah okay maybe you lost some weight, and maybe you only left your room when it was time for training or missions, but was it really that odd? 

You saw Naruto coming back into your room and sat on the bed -- it dipping under his sudden weight. He had made you some soup, surprisingly not ramen, and held the spoon up to your lips, “Eat it.” You couldn't bring yourself to argue with him so you complied. The only sounds surrounding you two were the clanging of the spoon against the bowl and your small gulps. Your stomach felt warm, you had forgotten the feeling of a full stomach. 

A choked sob captured your attention. You looked up away from the bowl held in front of you and saw the tears streaming down your ex-boyfriend’s face. “Im sorry for doing this to you. I wouldn't have left if I knew this would happen.” His voice shakily cried out. You didn't know what to do, was your condition really that bad? He set the bowl onto your nightstand and cradled your cheek, his other hand wiping at his tears. “I’m so sorry.” He continuously cried out. 

The hand on your cheek felt warm, it was nice. Both of his hands now wiped at your cheeks, you hadn't realized you were crying but he was wiping your tears away for you. 

Maybe you were broken, maybe it was his fault, who could say? You pulled him into the bed with you and he held you in his arms -- he made you feel like you would be okay, he made you feel safe again. Sure you two had a long way to go before you could trust him but for now you were happy just being with him. Like it was before that day last year. 

“Please just hold me.”

[innuendostyles]

ben can be needy but it’s okay because he’s got you

!!! this piece contains mentions of feelings of distress, if this could trigger you in any way please be wary <3

needy - ariana grande (thank u, next)

ben hadn’t been himself recently. he’d been a lot more .... attatched. you were used to waking up with ben’s arm around your waist, but the night you woke up with ben sobbing into your shoulder, you knew something wasn’t right.

he’d always been someone to keep his feelings to himself. he felt like a burden. he thought it might change when he found someone he loved & felt like he could share anything with- but when you came along it just scared him even more.

you always told him to tell you how he feels but he.... couldn’t. and it all built up. it kept on building to the point where he couldn’t sleep without clinging on to you- the only way he could ground himself.

days of ben constantly following you around, only leaving you to use the bathroom or occasionally eat a bowl of cereal. gwilym had actually rang you one day, asking why ben wasn’t picking up his phone. you didn’t have the heart to tell him that he hadn’t spoken for 3 days, you just told gwilym he was ill. his phone had actually, and purposefully, been left uncharged in the living room.

he seemed to come out of it after you spoke with him the first time- more of an argument than a discussion. it was only for a day or so, and then he was back to how he was before.

“i cant do this, ben.” you said, “figure it out, please. it’s hurting me as much as it’s hurting you.” and with that, you kissed his cheek and set off for your friends house, where you stayed for 2 days before ben rang you.

“why didn’t you pick up the first time?” you heard ben say in a vulnerable tone through the other side of the phone.

“sorry- didn’t have my phone on me” you replied into the mobile.

“okay.” he replied.

“are you alright?” you asked him, fully knowing the answer.

“i need you, y/n” he said with a sob.

that was an hour ago.

now you were sat next to ben on his sofa in his apartment.

he couldn’t look at you.

he’d never been like this before.

“i just feel so... low?” he said, his voice cracking.

“that’s okay, baby.” you assured him.

“if you don’t wanna say anything it’s okay. i’ll wait for you to be ready.” you whispered, putting your hand on his.

“i just need you” he whispered back.

“i’m here, ben. forever. and i’ll always be here.”

“i’ve been so ........ dependent. m’ sorry.”

“it’s okay, ben. really. we all have our ups ‘nd downs, yeah?” you replied.

“sorry. jus’ .... gets hard sometimes. being in the spotlight all the time.” he said with a sniffle.

“stop saying sorry” you chuckled, sadly.

“sorry” he chuckled aswell.

“it’s selfish” he said after a while, “i know it is. i jus’.... feel so needy all the time. you’ve got your own life, your own job, family, friends, events... but you’re always here. makes me feel bad.” he sniffled. “but ‘m scared. scared you’ll move on. find someone different, normal, more like you.” you could see the regret in his eyes. he wasn’t meant to tell you that part.

“ben, i’m with you in this forever. til the end, right? that’s what you say. ‘nd i believe it.”

“it’s so damaging. all the faking. walking round like nothing’s bothering me ‘n then coming home crying when i’m going to sleep. makes me feel weak. like it shouldn’t be happening. but.... i can’t help it. y’know?” he asked with a hopeful tone.

“yeah. course. happens to everyone. all the time. ‘n it’s okay, ben. it should happen. it’s just because you’re... passionate. passionate about your job.”

“but it feels like i don’t give a fuck. has done for a while.” he sadly chuckles.

“no. i promise, ben. it’s cause you’re passionate.”

“but, i’m tired of faking it. them fuckin’ award shows, all i’m thinking about is walking out. every time. even if i win. i’m always thinkin’ about walkin’ out. it’s like.... i have to hide it. ‘n it’s killing me. having to hide it when ‘m all dressed up and looking like im perfect.”

you gave his hand a sympathetic squeeze. also a gesture for him to carry on speaking - you were learning more about him now than you ever had in your 3 year relationship with him.

“overthinkin’ again, aren’t i love?” he gave a soft laugh as you laughed aswell, nodding your head and resting it on his shoulder. you brought his hand up to your mouth and kissed the back of it.

“thankyou for lovin’ me. even when i’m a needy little bitch. i love you.” he whispered and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“s’okay. i love you too.” you replied, kissing his jaw.”

he was okay after that.

he took a break from instagram, though he’d never been the most fond of it, the time he spent without clicking on it now was a big change to the mindless scrolling he used to subject himself to every night before bed.

didn’t go to any award shows for a while.

spent more time with you, his friends, his family.

you guys even went to live with his parents in the countryside for a couple of weeks. getting ben to remember why he shouldn’t have to apologise for who he is.

he did, in the end.

his mum thanked you with a very big hug the night you both left to return to your normal lives.

“you mean the world to him, love.” she whispered as she kissed your cheek.

you held her shoulders, “he means the world to me too.” you replied.

[cptablovegood]

Absolutely no one asked for this or probably even wants this but I’m less than a hundred pages in to Fool’s Errand and Fitz and Beloved are already ruining me so I’m literally just going to make a note of every time they’re being super in love (even if Fitz is constantly obtuse and refuses to admit it) just for my own (in)sanity..

———————part 1————————

Apparently only original posts show up in tumblr searches some imma just have to keep adding on to this rather than reblogging hope you’re ready for a shit so guys!

“I see a love that wends its way in and out of all your many years. That faithful heart has been absent for a time, but is soon to return to you again.” A witch reading his LOVE LINE! She also makes a direct comparison to Molly. Fitz foolishly thinks it’s about Starling but Beloved arrives soon after so we know its about them. HIS LOVE LINE GUYS!

“Your one true love is stitched in and out and through you life. Love will return to you.” You could interpret this as being about Molly as I think they end up getting back together after Burrich has died but I’m way more inclined to believe this is about the Fool. For one its the same witch says its right after the above. Fitz himself also dimises Molly. But mainly the phrasing. The White Prophet and his Catalyst are often described as being interwoven and bound together despite of any distance and time. Like the metaphors are parallel making me think this is about the Fool. Which means… Beloved is Fitz’s one true love! Guys can Robin Hobb just give me a fucking break please!

*a whole paragraph admiring a horse* “The rider was fully worthy of the horse.” He thinks his mans is fine ok!

“He smiled. Something turned over in my heart. I moistened my lips, but could find no words, no breath to utter them if i had. My heart told me one thing my eyes another.” Ummm how fucking in love is Fitz? He hasn’t seen the Fool in 15 years and he’s speechless and his heart is doing somersaults? His eyes are saying wait that’s not how i remember the fool but it doesn’t fucking matter he KNOWS its the fool HIS HEART KNOWS.

“I open my mouth, then helplessly spread wide my arms. At that gesture that said all I had no words for, an answering look lit his face.”Again he’s literally speechless but that doesn’t even matter the Fool can fully understand him. Soulmates don’t need such trivial things as language to communicate!

“He glowed as if a light had been kindled in him” Im sorry thats some romantic shit.

“He did not dismount but flung himself from his horse towards me.”  Hi the Fool literally launched himself off a horses back into your arms!

“The horse shied away but none of us paid her any attention.”  They’re so absorbed in each other.

“In one step i caught him up. I enfolded him in my arms as the wolf gambolled about us like a puppy.”

“‘Oh Fool,’ I choked. ‘It cannot be you, yet it is and I do not care how.’” Emotions are literally choke him he’s about to start crying, I-

“He flung his arms around my neck. He hugged me fiercely. … For a long time he clung to me like a woman.” Yeah we know Fitz has some old misconstrued ideas about love and gender so for him to even parallel that is a lot ok…

“Until the wolf insistently thrust himself between us.” Ok so not only would they have carried on clinging to each other if Nighteyes hadn’t have forced them apart but also the wolfs reaction is super fucking important as well. Like Nighteyes is Fitz’s Wit beast. He has never loved another person other than Fitz so loyally and without question. When he first meets the Fool he trusts him straight away and calls him pack long before anyone else. Fitz even gets jealous of their bond in the first trilogy until Nighteyes explains that why shouldn’t he trust and love someone so fiercely if Fitz already feels this way about them.

“…wiping away tears. I did not think less of him for them. My own ran unchecked down my face.” Urgh thank you Robin Hobb for letting men cry! But they are both so overcome with emotion and not ashamed or embarrassed to show the other person that they’ve been brought to tears by their reunion like wow they’re so in love.

“He flowed to his feet, every nuance of his grace as familiar to me as the drawing of breath.” He likens simply seeing the fool moving to something that is habitual and that sustains his life I-

“He cupped the back of my head and in his old way, pressed his brow to mine.” I would argue more tender than a chaste kiss.

“He stared at me, his eyes touching the white streak in my hair and running familiarly over the scares on my face. I stared just as avidly…” they’re drinking each other up after so many years apart committing each other to memory again.

“The wide grin that lit his face erased all years and distance between us.” something as simple as a smile can bring them right back together like they haven’t been separated for 15 years.

“I felt something from him; the thinnest knife-edge of of shared awareness. … ‘All down the years’ his voice going as golden as his skin ‘you have been with me, as close as the tips of my fingers, even when we were years and seas apart. Your being was like the hum of a plucked string at the edge of my hearing, or a scent carried on the breeze.’”Maybe I’m smoking crack but I think this might be the most romantic thing ever? ‘his voice going golden as his skin’ why does that warm my heart so??

“‘Had I possessed the Skill in truth you would have known I was there. At your fingertips, but mute.’ I felt an odd easing in my heart at his words, for no reason I could name” Fitz mate thats love. Love and the confirmation and realisation that you had never and would never truly be alone or lonely.

“It was a boys thing to do, this immediate offering to share a prized possession and my heart answered it, knowing that no matter how long or how far apart wed been nothing important had changed between us.” Like you might be men full grown now, having lived completely separate lives, not knowing each other for the last 15 years but your love is so pure it has not been marred by age or distance!

“I blinked my eyes and for a minute I was back in the Fool’s hut in the mountains, healing from my injury while he stood between me and the world” he remembers how the fool protected and shielded him and nursed him back to health.

“He created reality around himself, bringing order and peace to a small island of warm firelight.”

“Light ran up his cheekbones and dwindles as it merged with his hair.”

“‘In the space of a sundown, you show me the wide world from a horses back and the soul of the world within my own walls.’” Before the Fool came Fitz was feeling listless and suffocated by his own life. Is there a more beautiful thing than being renewed to vigor by someone you love? The Fool basically brings him all the possibilities and life that he had forgotten he could have. Also he calls the Fool ‘the soul of the world’ how fucking beautiful is that. and the fool is so fucking happy that he could do that for him.

“We are whole.” This said by Nighteyes which I again think is super important. He feels the same about the Fool as he does about Fitz. And although him and Fitz are Wit bonded and him and the Fool not he does not feel that they have been truly complete without him.

“Like sundered pieces of crockery that snick back together so precisely that the crack becomes invisible, the Fool joined us and completed us.”

“The Fool’s presence was in itself an answer and satisfaction.”

“That evening remains for me always a moment to cherish as golden and fragrant as brandy in crystal glasses.”

“I stayed away from you as long as i could. he offered the words like an apology.’ He literally cant keep himself from fitz. “Any time that you returned to visit me would not have been too soo” And Fitz doesn’t want to be left alone Beloved he wants your company!

“Nighteyes and I spoke as we did was not an effort to exclude him from our circle. It was that our circle made us one in a fundamental way we could not share. ‘Yet once we did and it was good.’” Even the wolf wants them to all be joined again and share their thoughts and feelings!

“He extended his hand to me as if he proffered an invisible gift on those outstretched fingertips. I closed my eyes to steady myself against the temptation. ‘I want it as i want breath itself Fool take it away please.’” He is having to ask the Fool to remove the temptation because he wants that wholeness, that one’s again so badly but he knows it’s a bad idea. It is taking all his will to decline it and I think of the Fool offered again he wouldn’t be able to resist a again. Also this is the 2nd time he has likened the Fool to something as fundamental as breathing.

“‘I dreamed of you once. You were sick or injured. A man leaned over you, I felt he wanted to hurt you so I-’ ‘It’s quite likely ou saved my life.’” Even when the Fool was Amber and Fitz did not know her his subconscious was looking out for her and protecting her. He fucking skill pushed someone to leave her alone without even realising it was her.

“‘Sometimes when I was most alone I mocked myself that I could cling to such a hope. That I could believe I was so important to anyone that he would travel in his dreams to protect me.’ ‘You should have known better than that.’ I said quietly.” Ok so this hurts my heart a little because Fitz always denies that he loves the Fool the way in which he wants to be loved by Fitz. I mean I don’t think that’s true at all because their love is way more intense and intimate than any woman that Fitz has ever been with Molly included the only boundary between him and the Fool is sex which arguable we know Fitz doesn’t always think is related to love cos he slept with Starling. And it fucking kills me that when Amber was in her darkest place she clung on to the hope that Fitz did truest love her but at the same time laughed at herself cos Fitz himself had told them otherwise previously. And here he has the audacity to contradict her. Like how could you ever doubt it? Cos you told them to doubt it mate! Why are you so fucking obtuse Fitz!

“‘Should I?’ He gave me the most direct look I have ever received from him. I did not understand the hurt I saw in his eyes nor the hope. He needed something from me but I wasn’t sure what it was.” Urgh again Fitz is so blind! You just need to hold him and admit to him how much you love him get over yourself and your whole ‘I can’t love you like a man loves a woman’ bullshit cos like the Fool rightfully said you didn’t love Molly cos of what was under her skirts!

“‘Were you expecting me to leave tomorrow?’ ‘I thought you might I didn’t hope it.’ ‘That's good then for you could have hoped in vain.’” They’ve finally been reunited after so long and neither one of them wants to leave the other.

“I suddenly realised the immensity of what i had asked him … like all direct questions I had ever asked the fool I both dreaded and longed for the answer.” This just feels very fucking intimate to me lads sorry to say

“‘Good night Beloved we have been apart for too long.’” Umm the Fool fucking gave Fitz his own name. His true name that he had never told anyone. His name that his own mother called him. They’re gunna ruined me these two.

This is literally only the first chapter that they have been reunited in and my heart already can’t take it!!

[sweetandsavageautistic]

Who’s ready to lose more braincells thanks to Twitter? (CW: Pedophilia mention)

"I'm Alive Because of YOU!"

The Innocence of an adult with autism and his BFF Lost & Found EMMY ;)

Love You, Love You My Boo Bear  

Mommyand (aka) #SMAARTMom

Meet My son Dustin & My Inspiration for Creating the Autism Welcomed Decal Symbol

Oh, decedents of men she loved/trusted... what a great idea!

To me, there's just something about what the innocence of a child would bring to that kind of a role. Or even a high functioning teen or adult with autism...

#WritingCommunity

Lauren, as a mother of an angel with disabilities, I would like articles about parents and adults with #Autism who share success stories. What makes a positive outcome?

Son went out with his grandad today amazing how are kids adults with #autism behave like angels for there grandparents lol.

As the parent of an adult child with autism I always tell young parents to never underestimate their child Our children CAN They are true angels sent to us by God

I worked as a parapro for three years and have seen people on every part of the spectrum- the way he spoke and carried himself should NOT influence anyone’s decision on their theory of his guilt or innocence. His demeanor is very typical of someone with high-functioning autism.

One thing I know about people with Aspergers is, they dont lie, they are often shy at 1st, but once they know you, they arent the type you ask "does my butt look big in this" coz they'll tell you outright that if does with such innocence & charm.

The innocence of people with autism is truly incomparable, it's their raw emotion that's sets them apart from the rest of the world.

@realDonaldTrump

hope you can meet Ganesh. #helpganeshmeettrump

Brother godbless ur boy.His curiosity is apparent and his calmness is heartwarming to see he realizes this isn’t going to hurt us.Autism holds a special place in my heart for my niece is also Autistic and any child,I see an innocence about them that makes me smile.Good job dad

You’re not alone , we autism moms are in this together and know exactly the heartbreak you are feeling

give it time and a lot of therapy Jenny, things will get better !! Just remember that his innocence is soo pure that he’s an angel here on earth for you

Not just autism but any diagnosis/disability. My saying is "do not look at my child w/ different eyes when u see him do something that's considered out of d norm" & also "don't break away his spirit because he can still see the Innocence in life better than you" -Margarita Rubio

Same here brother. My youngest son is autistic and I cant imagine how anyone..especially a "father" could do something like this My son has random seizures and everyone of them rips my heart out Autistic children have more heart & love than anyone on earth Innocence of autism

The ABC series "Love on the Spectrum" was / is a beautiful uplifting and inspiring work. The wonderful openness, hopefulness and general innocence of the autistic folk is a lesson for everyone. Love for everyone has challenges. I hope people don't use autism to express contempt

I love being around people with Autism. They radiate pure energy and innocence.

My son has autism and he is just beautiful in his innocence, thank you very much!!! He does not have black coal for a heart and not beholden to Satan

When Quamaine helped me with the snow shoveling. He was happy to help. I adore him and his innocence. I hope he knows that. #adultwithautism #autism #adultoconaitismo #autismo #quamaine #autismaunt #snow

Mothers of children with autism know their kids intimately because they cannot leave them with anyone. They protect their kids fiercely, because they are vulnerable due to their innocence

Sarah's effective portrayal of an autistic role clearly depicted the charm, candidness, innocence and frolicsome attitude of people with autism.

Autism. A neurological condition where purity and innocence collide to form an abstract masterpiece.

THE REAL CHAMPIONS IN THIS WORLD ARE CHILDREN LIKE KAYLENE. WITH AUTISM  SPECIAL NEEDS & CHILDREN FIGHTING CANCER SO MUCH MORE LOOK AT HER SMILE SO INNOCENT

The people with autism can understand a lot of things very clearly. Autistic children tend not trust adult humans becoz for them they are constantly in movement which doesn’t allow things to sync with them. BTW they are fantastic human beings with a child like pure heart.

People with autism are the most perfect human beings on the planet to me bc they don’t bother a soul or hurt anybody an is purely innocent 💯‼️❤️

I have a soft spot for people with Autism.  We aren’t worthy of their creativity, intelligence and innocence

I love being around people with Autism. They radiate pure energy and innocence.

Thank you

God bless you too!

I believe people with autism are special gifts and their purity cannt be denied]

I’ve been the happiest in my life being around people with autism. If you don’t have a friend, brother, or neighbor like them you truly haven’t experience the purity in life.

People with down syndrome, autism, etc, arent capable of hate, malice, greed, intolerance, etc. They exhibit all the things that those of us "normal" people try to be but cant. They're not equipped to be evil. They can only show purity.

I dont know, that's my take on it.

By living with people with autism, we are be able to regain the purity

True, but at the same time these aren't necessarily different things: pedophilia, anti-pedophilia & dumb-girl-philia can stem from one & the same mental trait, i.e. the idealization of childlike Innocence; which in turn is arguably a form of autism: other people can't have minds.

#Undateables #TheUndateables I adore this show. The pure honesty love and kindness of these beautiful souls blows me away

. Their innocence and hopeful view of this world is something that could teach many. Appreciate what you have

#autism #specialneeds #learningdisability

Which film? I love the innocence of kids. Every day my kids say it as it is and their attitude keeps me so grounded. We could all learn a lot from autism x

This sickens me 2 the core.Trump started this he is to blame. We are one let us not forget this. We need 2 learn again from our young who see no difference. My son with autism never sees any difference. Such innocence. The world will not change him .He listens to me I accept all

My son who has been diagnosed with #autism loves painting.He is lifting my spirits with his joy 4 his work he has done.Some he started this week & finished. R #Hamilton #Ticat #Football colors. Love the innocence its so grounding 4 me. Blessings 4 all you are doing

Pope john paul the second said children with autism were closer to god than any other. They have a innocence about them.  We should take notice and learn from there how love and live

And now, some tweets from people who think Greta Thunberg is being exploited just because she's so passionate about stopping climate change:

If This Little Girl GRETA really has AUTISM How Terrible Easy For Adults To Manipulat Her IT IS A PARENTS JOB TO PROTECT THE INNOCENCE OF OUR CHILDREN IM SO ASHAMED AND SO SHOULD THE CLIMATE CHANGE COMMUNITY GOD FORGIVE HER PARENTS. THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THE DO

Democrats like John Kerry are using an innocent little girl with autism to feign innocence while the Democrats just voted to spend 738 billion dollars on environmental destruction. How ridiculous.

That's a good argument? Because it's what SHE *wants* to do? She is a child who does not yet fully grasp the perils of public life or climatology. She's also a child diagnosed on the autism spectrum. She deserves privacy and protection of her innocence. It will end poorly.

I've started to suspect she was selected for this job because of her autism. She can play innocence whenever someone publicly calls her out for the childish nonsense that comes out of her.

Greta is a 16-yr-old kid with autism who is being used by her parents & the crazy adults around her as a political pawn. She's not a savior. She's a kid who is having her innocence and anonymity stripped from her by a**holes pushing their stupid climate change crap.

I think she is being used. The fact that she has an Autism Spectrum Condition should be respected. She is very articulate and very focused partly because she is Greta and partly because she is autistic, but she also has the innocence of a teenager and someone with an ASD.

[sirwolficus]

How dare you state you have a Sam and Max game idea and not share it? Please what is it? im very curious 👀

well buckle in fellas because its a long ride! i’ll put everything under the cut but heres a tl;dr picture before we get into it

well the picture says a lot; a common sam and max adventure in which they ensue a villain with a very powerful arsenal and not everything is fully explained or is even addressed within the plot.

its not 100% thought out, as most of my ideas are. but basically it starts out with mister commissioner giving our favourite two detectives a new mission; some woman has been kidnapped by an uber-crazy mother fucker and its the type of case that’s perfect for the boys!

and with every sam and max game, there is a bosco (well, there was one in hit the road and OBVIOUSLY one in the telltale games. i love that guy!) there is also an npc ally that’s sort of a mix between momma bosco from the telltale games and the geek from the show. no name yet but a sketch. actually, here’s a sketch below;

on the left, bosco; an absolute nutcase that hides his identity so that no one can tie his various illegal activities back to him.

middle is the smarty-pants; undertiminable age and gender. super smart and hasnt slept in many, many days. are those eyelashes or eyebags? no one will know!

and on the right, the originally kidnapped woman– which brings me to continue…

after some whacky hijinks of finding clues and talking to other people, you eventually track her down: tied up against a wall in a cell, with her own psychic power being drained from her as max and sam do who fucking knows what! once freed, it’s revealed she is a part of a long-lost civilization that has been in hiding for decades. they are the gatekeepers of the universe; in charge of keeping everything in line and in order. everything about them is very much kept under wraps– the knowledge that a small group of people are basically in control of all of space can very much bring alot of unwanted attention to them.

while trying to get her out to the safety of sewer tunnels that reek of shit, the main villainess of the game is shown. she’s the one who’s kidnapped the woman, and apparently doesn’t go down easy. she manages to slip away at the last moment, much to the anger of the kidnapped woman. apparently, they’ve tangled before– not face to face. with her pulling the strings in the shadows while growing despise for our two favourite freelance detectives.

however, the case isn’t solved. their perp is still on the loose, and sam and max aren’t basic bitches, yall! with the help of a new ally, they hit the road (reference intended)! smart fucker ally does some shit and gets them a new lead, with psychic now-not-kidnapped woman giving them tips and tricks.

everything seems to be going well until they actually seem to get to the height of the case; the confrontation. the villainess is a stone cold fucking bitch. sam and max enter the confrontation scene, ally(ies? undecided) waiting in hiding for if backup is needed. they come up on the other hostages and when sam goes to rescue, whoops, its actually a trap. he gets shocked (same voltage as a shock collar i’d think?) and whoops! dead hostages. yikes. 

“the only one i need is her!” villainess shouts while entrapping ally lady who has psychic powers because im a bitch.

she monologues to the two fucking furries about how much she fucking hates them. like a little bitch. GOD i want to marry her.

now, there is one fact about the freelance police i love: they are always together. villains never try to separate them, it’s always sam & max, never just sam. or max. and i love that. we’ve all seen what happens when they do get separated as well. sam turns edgy and desperate. max tears apart time and space just to get to his partner.

but what if a villain tried actually tried to separate them? to really try and make them suffer the one way they know how– creating their worst nightmare in real life.

so, our unnamed villainess because im on the creative thin line right now, uses our psychic ally to tear apart a hole in the fabric of reality and creates chaos throughout all of existence. and, well… you can see what happens.

enter our two main alternate detectives.

throughout the hub-bub of reality being torn apart, our four detectives are mixed up;

our max is stuck with another sam, and our sam is stuck with another max. throughout trying to track down our villain.

you get to jump through different worlds as comedy ensues. you can play as either sam OR max– thats right you can play as the fucking lagomorph psycho.

there are two different roads you can take to track down our villainess, with sam going down the much more clue-filled path where you have to be clever. max, however, goes down the violently-interrogating-everyone path. unsurprising.

sam and max both meet our villainess at around the same time. now since it’s dimension hopping, there’s… obviously gonna be more than one villain. now we’ve already established she isn’t above murdering people.

sam is a calm person. at this point in the game he’s pretty much figured out this max is not his max. he’ll come in and try to arrest her, and by arrest i mean letting max decimate her before turning her in and surprisingly not getting arrested for police brutality. basically the same thing happens with our max as well but much more violently. and, well…

she points the gun at sam. she threatens to kill him in a gruesome fashion. she hates him more than she does max.

here is a picture of what i think their office would look like to break up the chunks of text. this isnt a fucking fanfic. actually it sort of is but fuck it

for our sam, other max is extra.. protective. and trigger happy. so he tries to jump her. and, well, she isn’t dumb. max kind of.. gets shot in the face. yeah. im an angsty angsty motherfucker.

for our max, is almost the same. max gets ready to jump at her, and as she moves to shoot max and max moves to try and rip off as many of her limbs at once, sam moves to cover his little buddy. and, uh, well im predictable.

so… watching their best buddy (or atleast another version of them) getting murdered right in front of your face without being able to do anything about it? that shit messes you up.

villainess would probably make a quip about the situation before disappearing, throwing our sam and max to rot in a timeless void of a pocket dimension. enter cutscene.

now, throwback..! remember new bosco and the smart ass person? smart ass is a smart ass for a reason. bosco is fucking insane and surprisingly his theory on space physics rings true.

they open up a hole for sam and max to jump back in through. they are still separated at this point. now max is trying to track down villainess and try and restore all of space. oh! i should have mentioned. the rupture in dimensional travel and space is kind of destroying everything. anyway, max is now tearing through space in a fucked desoto trying to find the villainess and definitely trying to murder her. sam, being all of max’s moral compass and control, is now (in his mind) dead and he needs revenge. now while sam is tracking him (trying to find his own max! d’aw) they’re doing more bad than good to the fragile lifeforce of space. psychic ally astral projects and tells them both that they’re fuckin up and making a mistake. max tries to shoot her. sam pleas. shes strugglin to even speak with them but she’ll do her best.

badabing badaboom, max drives through a wall and finds villainess’ headquarters. sam quickly catches up and is like !!!! little buddy!!!! boom boom fight or whatever the fuck. heartfelt reunion! people are saved. but how will they fixed the fractured existence of the universe? bang scavenger hunt (im not sorry i fucking love searching for shit in games i dont know why) so that allies can make cool thing and fix universe.

boom. everything fixed. villain is like dead probably. thats my game idea i hope its not dumb

lemme know what yall think. i cant think of any cool name other than “Sam & Max; Freelance Police (The FanGame)”

i desperately want new sam and max content in this day and age.

[nightmaretyrantvantas]

So I’m finally getting around to writing out a bunch of info about my Sander Sides au so I hope youre all ready--(its like 1 am im so sorry for any spelling mistakes and missed tags)

So its 1 am on a work night and I cant sleep and I’ve had lots of ideas and canon things for this au bouncing around my head for days and now TONIGHTS THE NIGHT ITS HAPPENING IM DELIVERING YOU ALL THE DETAILS AND EVERYTHING I CAN THINK OF AND TYPE 

Also please feel free to ask about this! I know I got a few new followers from all my recent sander sides art and also thanks to @sugarglider9603 reblogging some art I made of their au I got the biggest flood of exposure and attention on my art ive ever had and I have so much to thank them for, for all recent exposure ive gotten the past couple days( theyre so sweet and lovely and easy to talk to sugar deserves all the love--) and its given me a huge surge of motivation and confidence to post this. And please, my inbox is always open to talk about my aus or my art! Ask questions, send requests, send headcanons or ideas, send fluff angst im open to anything and I try to do all requests sent to me(sooner or later)

Oh oh! and please id you catch any and all the little inspirations or anything let me know

And finally this au is a LAMP au with Remile and Demus on the side

Ahem ahem anyway onto the au!!!

More under the cut so I dont flood your screen too bad!

Ok so! 

This Au was originally inspired by @residentanchor‘s amazing fanfic A Lesson in Practicality and also a little bit by @prettyinaccurate‘s fanged virgil au( I’ll get more into that further down) 

So it takes place in a (currently) unnamed bigger city I based off San Francisco and Sacramento( because I live in Cali and those are the two major cities ive really visited ya know?) The boys are all in various stages of their twenties when they move into a four bedroom apartment together: Patton Foster is the oldest of the roomies at 27, then Logan Masters at 26, Roman Prince at 24, and finally Virgil Collins at 22. They move in together because it all works out for them really, the apartment is in a good distance to all their current jobs, whether by bus or even in Pat’s case in walking distance and with all four of them it was well affordable and was pretty nice. I mean hey it even came with a little communal balcony ( since theyre on third floor of the building) 

Things are understandably a little rocky at first , i mean isnt it always though?

Virgil has alot of anxiety and so he tends not to talk really at all at the beginning unless he ABSOLUTELY had to, mostly communicating in noncomittal noises and soft grumbles, and he was fresh out of collage and barely two years into his job and out on his own for the first time and he wasnt really ready for it either like christ too many people

Patton was bright bubbly and caring. This wasnt his first rodeo with roomies, I mean cmon, hes been sharing a room with his older brother Damian(deceit) on and off almost all his freakin life, nor was it his first time living on his own with strangers(hes lived in two different parts of two when he was job hopping before he settled down in his current part time job)

Roman was extroverted loud and exciteable, he too was used to sharing his living space( he had TWO siblings after all) and before he had moved into the apartment he had tried living on his own and with other roommates while he attended collage, but those just didnt work out well ( he ended up staying with his older brother Remy in his studio apartment across the city while he finished out that semester and searched for a job to keep an income.

Logan was serious minded stern toned and confident, he had a minor degree in teaching that he was slowly repursueing and had been out on his own for awhile before he had moved in. And though cold at first he soon found his group of housemates...enjoyable.

Its about a month into them living together that they learn exactly why despite slowly getting close and getting to know each other Virgil still kept a wide distance: He had entirely sharp teeth.

“ I dunno....I was born with them..theyve always been a sharp pain in my ass...” - virgil, about his teeth

Of course just having sharp teeth wasnt bad enough oh no. You see a few years back when he was about 18 he was young and dumb and made horrifically stupid and reckless decisions under peer pressure and ended up doing something that not only pointedly (haha oh god im not funny) chipped his front teeth but it fucked up his teeth pretty majorly, he went from having a normal overbite to almost having a goddamn underbite and crooked all his teeth, and the only way to fix it( because somehow miraculous for all the damage done it turned out to be mostly reversable aside from the chipping) was getting braces to realign his teeth. So he’s had pretty purple braces over his fangs since he was 18 and they werent expected to come off until he was AT LEAST 25 and he was insecure about them. ( he got mocked for them through his two and a half years of junior collage)

Once the gang finds out they are understanding and helpful and dont make a big deal about it( though virgil gains a significant amount of more vampire related nicknames from roman)

Once they get close and comfortable around each other the apartment is pretty warm and lively! 

Virgil works at the art store as an assistant manager and head stocker( a bit of a dream come true since he was an art student)

Roman works as a part time waiter at a family resturant as well as working at a nearby theater( he was of course a lovely theater major) 

Patton worked at a nearby cafe and bakery as a bit of everything! He helped wait tables, serve behind the counter, and helped in the back in the kitchen( the owners were family friends and he’d been working there almost four to five years at that point, boi knows how to do everything) 

Logan worked at a big name bookstore, and also provided tutoring sessions for highschool students on the side by commision

More FACTS~~

Family ages for the big families go as follows:

Fosters: Damian(28), Patton(27)

Prince: Remy(26), Roman(24, older twin by 10 minutes), Remus(24, younger twin)

Emile is 27 and is a licensed therapist and works as a counselor for young adults that volunteers at the nearby library to ready to children

Remy works as a coffee barista in Emile’s building

Remus does alot of odd jobs, kinda working as an independent for hire and gets a surprising steady flow of work and pay. Hes still a trash man though, but hes a successful trash man( partly thanks to Damian calling in favors with connections)

Damian works at a law firm slowly moving into the position of prosecutor

Virgil doesnt really get along with his family and at some point Emile offers to take virgil in as his adopted brother, with Damian assuring him if he wanted concrete legal papers to start changing his last name, cutting ties with his family, anything needed for it he’d see to it that they’d be providing(something our boi really appreciates)

Remy visits Emile on his breaks since hes literally just...two hallways down and vice versa

Damian and Remus live together in the next, slightly smaller city over because Damian’s work transferred him to a different office in order for him to keep moving up in the ranks so to speak. 

Hes also good at what he does.

Family nights happen whenever they can

Patton got to teach them how to cook alot of complicatied dishes from scratch, a bonding time he adores

Roman got Virgil an Espeon hoodie after they all start dating and virgil loves it and wears it alot around the house because its a thicker hoodie and warm( though he tries to ignore the big ears and the obnovious tail

Virgil also loves visiting Roman’s work on what Ro likes to refer to as “ hellish days” AKA kids day which means goofy kid friendly theme days. His favorite was probably alice in wonderland day when Roman was Tweedle Dee

Roman played J.D at the local theater and likes to hum some of the his songs to switch up the Disney

The balcony is covered in houseplants and and a corner of old blankets and pillows to sit and chill on

Once a month Logan and Patton have what is affectionately referred to as the Cat Discourse

After any particularly rough days at work Patton tends to massage Logan’s shoulders and back to make sure Lo doesnt get any really bad stress knots

in return when Logan sees Patton’s head a hard day he makes Patton’s favorite drink and pulls him into a hug and let the older man fall asleep in his arms while they watch movies

Pat and roman sense each other’s bad days and order in some cliche diner food and hole up in pattons room with Pattons computer and relax the shittiness away with comedy specials and movies 

Likewise Virgil has a knack of picking up Roman’s bad days and always grabs a couple glasses and a bottle kinda cheap wine and they end up curling up together on Romans bed marathoning Disney movies on Virgil’s laptop 

and when Virgil closes himself off more than normal Logan manages to lure him out of his room and they end up sitting out on the balcony quietly talking and stargazing

so loving and fond and soft with each other

you hurt one of them you gonna get BEAT by the others. 

Speaking of getting beat, never EVER mess with Roman or Remus in Remy’s proximity

Remy Andrew Prince can and WILL fuck you right up if you hurt his little brothers. He’s protective.

and where Remy will rearrange your face Damian will ruin you mentally and legally if you so much as mistreat a single freckle on his little brother’s face, despite knowing that Patton is fully capable of taking care of himself. 

Everyone protects Virgil, dont mess with or hurt virgil or you have the pack coming for ya throat

aaaaaaaaaaaaaand thats all I have for right now! Of course more will be added but now its almost three in the morning and I have work at 1:30pm and im sleepy finally! But I hope you guys like this! And please, feel free to talk to me about it, my inbox is always open!!

Taglist: @phantommoonpeople @sweetsweetemo @loganberrysanders