#i cant stand my life i hate it so much | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

im2tired4usernames · 1 month

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Every single time I defend someone shitty who has done nothing but be a cunt to me because they did 1 (ONE ) decent thing THEY ALWAYS TURN AROUND AND DO SOMETHING SO MUCH WORSE TO ME

#every single time i praise aomeone for turning a new leaf they fuck me over #my life is continuing getting worse and worse and worse and worse and i really don't know how much longer i want to deal with this shit #if things do not change soon I'm quitting I'll run away and i will never come back #i praise y sister for growing up she steals and then lies about it and i print with out a shadow of a doubt she did it wont admit it #coworker who bums job off onto me dose. one piece of work then fucked off and dowe nothing else all day then spreads rumors i lied about my #moms cancer #like i can pull up her obituary bitch #dad dose 1 nice thing then like let's me go to bed instead of doing all the dishes that accumulate while i was at work #then need day turns me back into a slave #is goin to marry his yandere bitch gf my mother has not been dead a year yet good for him #I'm done #i hate being alive i can't daydream about anything anymore except death #i used to be able to daydream ocs n stories that stopped years ago then it was day dreaming about a better life with my wife #that's hard to believe it'll ever happen in just trapped and my dad constantly discourages me getting independent or doin anything for mysel #no don't get a full time job don't move out you cam never do it no don't try to learn sewing again doing try dnd again doing make new friend #don't do anything to make like nice #I'm allowed Wednesday nights after the kids go to church and that's it and if it clashes with family aucks to be me #and i don't get to make. it up the next day like dad #i cant stand my life i hate it so much #i hate my family minus my four youngest siblings #i hate my job i hate waking up i hate feeling exhausted all the time #being alive is disappointment and work I'm tired of it #I'm tired #i dont want to do this anymore #i need something to change but I'm trapped nothing will change unless i do it #and i hate that I'll probably have to leave ao much behind

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sunspinecity · 3 months

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50$ to print 10 of the same skin has always been so insane to me. you're telling me it's 50$ to print....only 10.....of a single skin....and that's normal. And not only is that normal, that's what's required for a skin shop. where ppl may not even sign up for 10 runs. and then you're left in the shitter with at minimum 1-4 skins nobody wanted (not to mention if some people decide not to pay afterward) that you have to just pray someone finds & buys on the auction house. And it's 50$. Uhuh. And then that's just the artist's issue and fault and we're gonna blame them instead of the fact that a 10 print run costs as much as groceries.

#dont get me started on how gems to real money is i hate it and i think its stupid but in particular its bad for uma folks #i just cant comprehend it. i know yall making FAR too much bank off uma ppl don't beg me to turn your ads back on bro youre literally fine #fr #flight rising #chimechatter #yeah fuck it ill put this in the main tag who give a shit #50$ is such a slap in the face. not even to mention how hard it can be to keep accents within the 35% range so youre only spending 25$#instead. like u have to limit ur vision. which uscks. idk. just not a fan of it purrsonally. if you are then good for you ig #i just cant support pet site png packs costing more than like 10$ each. i cant do it. inconcievable.#EDIT: got one comment that made me want to write an essay on how FIFTY DOLLARS IS GROCERY MONEY AND THE ENTIRE POINT OF THE GAME IS DECORAT #NG YOUR DRAGON SO OFC PEOPLE WANT TO DECORATE THEIR DRAGON AND MY POINT STILL STANDS THAT 50$ IS INSANE #2000G/20$ IS SO MUCH MORE REASONABLE AND Basically if you even half-defend it i'm blocking you sorry.#“”“optional”“” premium item doesnt excuse fucking grocery money cost and not everybody wants to grind their life away fulltime petsite job #anyways. my point of this edit is im turning off notifs and if you send me an ask about this i'm blocking you. goodnight

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skunkg1rll · 1 month

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#ughhh someone pointed out the atrocity in my face. i hate thatfeature of me so bad #and now i cant stop thinking about it and i hate myself and my face and i got bad feelings #because throughout my entire life i've been so bullied for it #i feel so ugly ugh!!!!!! i am ugly i wanna cry who could ever love me when i look like this skksksks #the worst abt having a face deformity is that it is on your FACE!!!!! i cant hide it #it's out there for everyone to see #and i cant remove it. i can get plastic surgery etc but i cant afford that at all now. maybe when i have a job :(((#and it really is so big in my brain. i notice it constantly #i cant look at other ppl without checking their chins to see if it's smooth or not #and most ppl have normal chins. pretty much everyone has a normal chin!!!!#i wish i was normal too. i hate looking like this i hate it so bad #it is so unfair that i gotta be stuck w this ugly fkn feature but everyone else gets to look normal #so unfair so unfair it makes me so angry #why did i get the worst genes ever i cant stand having to live my life being this grotesquely ugly #anyway.... i try to suppress it nd not think abt it but earlier today someone made a comment abt it #nd now i just wnna cry because it is soooooooo ugly and i hate it #besides yeah it made me rmbr my school years bc ppl were sofkn mean to me abt it #like im sorry i know im ugly wtf do u want me to do?!?!

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keirawantstocry · 3 months

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#i have multiple discord servers for vent shit but unfortanely my sister is on all of them and i dont wanna bother her so #yeah everyone ignore this i just need to fucking explode #my mother is pissing me off so fucking much rn #she never shuts the fuck up #only cares about her own damn fucking problems #shes going on about how she cant find a book and she needs my help and im like mom #i just spilled water on my laptop can you stfu #and you know what she fucking says?#well maybe if you didnt always hide in your room with your computer #first of all im a fucking adult and istg once i have enough money im blowing this fucking stand in a heartbeat #and second of al #I WAS OUTSIDE #BECAUSE FOR ONCE IN MY FUCKING LIFE I WAS TRYING TO GET SOME FRESH AIR #IM SICK OF BEING INSIDE #BUT WHEN I GO OUTSIDE SHE CAN COME TO ME WHICH I HATE MORE #so i try to go outside for once and what does it fucking get me #well the fucking water on my computer and audio issues #which thank God i fixed but ugh am i still pissed the fuck off #and my fucking “best friend” can barely give me the fucking time of day #leaves me on delivered for days at a time #and then straight up ignores my questions and wont fucking talk to me #but oh they'll call me randomly if they need my help #like is that all i fucking am to you?#UGH #trying to breathe #im going to put on headphones and writing gay fanfiction that always cheers me up

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toastsnaffler · 3 months

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everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏

#i love her but there are some benefits to having the flat to myself.... love getting to wander around in just my boxers + a tshirt too #things i could do while she was still here if i wasnt a pussy 🙄#jk itd just make her uncomfortable and im too respectful for that #having a lowkey crush on her is an endless comedy to me bc we would be so woefully incompatible romantically #and also sexually.. historically ive only ever stone topped bc ive never been comfortable enough w anyone to let them fuck me #despite very much Not being stone or exclusively a top. and i think shes some form of sex repulsed anyway so like. sits there dead silence #and also shes so in love with her other friends and i showed up late to that party.... ive been feeling kinda guilty lately bc ik-#she misses them a lot and wishes we'd be able to stay roommates w them too. and im a pretty poor replacement for them tbh #and i love spending time with her but whenever i do i feel kinda painfully aware im not them like i could never fill that space #and asking to hang out more with her always feels like im taking away from time she could be talking to them. or even being alone ik she-#likes her own company and i get that a lot too so its chill but ahh.. man #i dont mean this in a bitter or jealous way at all like theyre all such sweet ppl i couldnt ever hold it against them #theyre kind of a 3 headed cerberus type situation and im like. the stray puppy they found on the side of the road #theres nothing they can do differently i was just born to be alienated from other ppl forever until i die. and someday i hope ill-#finally get used to it and accept i wont ever feel like im enough for anyone else or feel like anything else is enough for me #old wounds healed over 5082 times that still hurt to touch but i cant help pressing my fingers into them anyway bc its a familiar pain etc #anyway lost where i was going with this its just been on my mind again recently. i hate to be pitied i hate to feel like im only included-#bc they didnt want me to feel left out i hate feeling like a shoddy secondhand stand-in and its been a lot of that lately #also been a little annoyed bc sometimes it feels like shes trying to micromanage my social life and girl. we're not close enough for that #im sure its well intentioned but im not part of what they have going on i cant compete in that ring so dont try to push me into it..#ahhh. its all ok tho one of the guys is coming to visit next month which will be rly fun but ill try to give them some space too #its good at least im doing this processing now bc group situations can be spike traps of triggers for me sometimes #regardless of how good friends i am w ppl and ive already had a wobble a few weeks ago w how i cope and i dont want it to become a #fully fledged regular issue again bc its so hard to crawl back out of that pit. anyway losing coherence here im gonna stop rambling #and go make myself an early dinner and then back to drawing........#sorry for long tags if ur reading this blows u a kiss but go find a better use of ur time girl!!#.diaries

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be-good-to-bugs · 2 months

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im glad i wont have to wait much longer to know how thingd will go but im scared that i might find oyt things will go bad soon

#the bin #i want to know now but i also never wanat know #i think i will be stuck with an anxiety attack untill i know the answer #i could find put today though. apparently the person is coming there today so. possibly.#i cant stop crying everyday about how much i just wanna move home. im tired of living here. i miss my siblings so much.#i got to play a game with 2 of them today. i have barely got to talk to them so it was nice. but i think its made me even more sad.#i cant stand living here. im stuck being miserable. the only people i care about live so far away and i barely get to talk to them at all #i cant ever do anything fun at all. my life feels so empty. im tired of this. i didnt think i could get more isolated but i was very wrong #i just have to wait and hopefully the news is good. maybe it will be. i really dont wanna be stuck here. and i dont wanna have to find #another apartment to live in also. i wanna move home. i hate that i had no choice but to move far away from my family at 17 and then got #stuck in a place where i dont know anyone but 1 person who then ditched me. what the hell.

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saturatedsinset · 1 year

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like sorry, I've done the whole "getting anon hate for calling an abuser an abuser" thing before, it literally could not bother me less. and in bandom they were better at it. at least there people sent me hate with some spirit to it. I'm not getting out of bed for less than a death threat, honestly

#sinjamin #'you and Lucy are soooo annoying we just tolerated you' okay <3 so don't <3 seems like you would be happier without #either of us in your life or your mind <3 #idk about you but i simply don't send people anon hate #it's also super rich for people to like... act like we won't stand by our principles if it's someone we like?#my guy there is so much music i cant listen to anymore because it just reminds me that the guy is an abuser. there were like four cycles of #this in bandom #this is not a special ultra puritan stance i am only applying to this one guy i have been consistent on this for my entire tumblr history

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caffeinatedopossum · 1 year

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I keep crying really easily

#just now started crying reading a post on reddit from someone who was talking about the possibility #of reincarnation and i thought about how awful it would be if i killed myself only to get reincarnated and never be able to know my gf #honestly being apart from her is the only reason i fear there being no after life at all #before i met her i thought nothing sounded nice #now i cant stand the thought of not being with her. i guess i didnt care if it was nothing because i always had nothing #but now shes everything #i feel so bad for still being suicidal when i know i have her #i could never leave her here alone... i know that #and yet i still feel like this #im so lucky... so why cant i be grateful #i think i am grateful and its just not enough. everywhere i look it seems no one has enough #it hurts so much. i hate the world for being like this #i hate the people in this world that make it so #i dont know if it would be better to live out of spite and try to help or to give up and leave this world hoping it works out anyways #i dont know how much i can ever do here. especially the way i am now #im too sick to help anybody. im so tired of being like this

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dirt-str1der · 1 year

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hello i just wanna say i genuinely like ur observation about nishiki's fighting style and then ya manage to bring it back to ur 'drug addict nishiki' headcanon like it caught me off guard but im also not surprised that is so fair and real of u okay thank u

In a world where drugs dont exist, nishikiyama’s strength comes solely from his anger and i guess he goes to the gym too

#Thanks for the ask !#Yakuza loveblog #its not a headcanon his voice actor said so before he so does drugs and he does it to escape his terrible life ratpark style #i would in fact be more surprised to learn that nishikis rawdogging life i mean hes definitely not religious and i guess he has alcohol but #thats not enough for what he has to endure. we have to give him meth we have to let him do coke #like i have no reason not to believe he goes to the gym because he is literally vain and i bet he works out till he gets a six pack all #one my life sucks two my life sucks on the bench and he drags kiryu there too even though he hates going to the gym because it stanks and #the aircon is always blowing at the worst spots and the overhead lights oohhhh cant stand the bowling alley either he throws the ball as #hard as he can and it doesnt even touch the runway before its smashing into the pins thats why the y5 bowling completion is so easy he #wants to get out of there asap. im off track see everything goes back to kiryu i always neglect nishikiyama. like even kazamas like heres #some drugs now leave me alone and hea like hmm do i snort this or sell it. oh well SNNRRRT. like there is absolutely no reason for his #entire fighting style to be heavy attacks unless hes wired like crazy and its because hes so pissed off all the time plus hes teeming with #like. cocaine. hulking the fuck out. thats why kiryu feels so safe around him because he has every reason to believe that in a pinch nishik #i can grab someones head and pop it like a grape in order to save his life hes seen it happen before it wasnt just because he feels #comfortable and in sync with nishikiyama he literally has seen him punch someone so hard their skull caved in and hes like okay !#thats why he loves fighting him so much its because if nishiki punches him in the head he’ll just have to wake up the next morning in pain #its so fun trust me on this you need to be punched by your brother right now or youll die

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foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland · 1 year

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Gotta wake up at 8ish and its 2am rn ughhhh. I literally GOTTA wake up tmrw bc i slept thru school 2day but ive got 2 n a half hours more than i have had any other day this week so thats just. Tiring. Cant even sleep in school like mannnn. Think i will simply die.

#night thoughts #cant fucking stand this school strips away likeee any fuckin meaning if have w my life #but most ppl ik view it likes it the ONLY meaning in life #WISH it was an opt in thing rather than an opt #wait #no its not even an opt out #wish there WAS an option #rather than hey well done on being born now have 4 years to be a person and then for the next 14 years of ur life go be a non person #and also there r rules u have to follownbut theyre secret #if u break them we will all hate u and ur happy privileges will be taken away #if u follow them nobody will care #theres such thing as a fallen angel but no risen demons #god #i fucking #hate school so much #and i hate how it means literally NOBODY treats u like a person until ur atleast 20 #i am just #fuck #fucking hate it so much i actually just cant even word how much i hate school andhow #much it literally ruins peoples lives

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combeauferre · 7 months

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#so close to just. losing it and writing out a horrifically long rant post abt how much i hate job searching #and how i wasted four years on a degree and no jobs want me bc there is literally nothing stand out abt me and im literally just stuck #in the same retail job i felt stuck in five years ago #and im just. completely fucking useless #i went through four years at university and i cant even write a cover letter let alone get a fucking job #i fucking hate job searching i hate being in retail i hate being the family disappointment #idk how much longer i can stand it before i just give up and succumb to just. being in retail the rest of my life #anyways #so much for the 'im not gonna rant im just gonna get a few thoughts out'#anyways im totally fine #ignore me #incoherent rambling

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year

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#this just in: local algae enthusiast shocked to find that u feel bad when u dont take care of yourself >:-[#this is bullshit. i am rattling the bars of my cage and also i am standing outside the door with the key #what do u mean i cant not sleep enough. intensely focus for 6.5hrs nonstop and have to take care of additional stuff floating around.#and then spend all my time agonizing over not being productive enough?#ugh. its exhausting. and its one thing to live like this and love what ur doing. its another when u dont fucking care so all ur time feels #empty and pointless bc all u do is work. bleh i just wanna draw all the time but coloring takes so much time when u wanna make complicated #things :-( so its like draw something new or spend 3hrs coloring and i hate coloring :-P #its also frustrating bc when i read papers associated with the work ill be doing in the fall i actually enjoy it #and thats what i wanna do in my free time but that space is so limited bc working takes up all the space #and drawing takes a lot of time. but hey i can cut out more space by not taking care of myself 😎#ugh. dont b like me. draw a healthy line between academia and life #otherwise its like yay reviewers have approved ur 1st authored paper and im like i could not even begin to care #light all my data on fire for all i care. i would feel nothing #and im not gonna rake od measurements today. fuck u. im tired and if i accidentally killed a culture ill be sad #ugh. but i should. but i have to do some coding before the end of the day and i cant if i have to spend another hr here 😫#ugh. just a few more months #unrelated

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hands0mejack · 1 year

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i used to collect keys and fancy glass bottles until my mom threw away everything i owned that one time and i lost most of my stuff + broke the most expensive hannibal funko pop that my friend bought me

#vent #jack.txt #saw a post about collecting things and was like wow remember MY collection?#now i dont collect anything because im poor and have so much trauma about my things being pawned off or destroyed since i had no rights ig #my mom pawning off everything i had when she got upset with me because it was actually “hers” since i didnt buy it :)))#sorry to vent i just had another argument with her and basically told her not to talk to me until she apologizes for deadnaming me #and now shes taking it out on my little sister because she isnt involved in my life anymore smh #happy easter i cant stand my family and they hate me for my trans gay autistic swag B)#tw: child abuse #tw: abuse #idk what else to tag this sorry for venting on main #me 800 miles away from my family chilling playing video games on easter and scrolling tumblr. wouldnt be any diff and hasnt for 4 years lol

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fadewalking · 1 year

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It's like normal and fine to have body type preferences for the people u date and are intimate with, but if you're applying that standard to platonic friendships, you're a freak

#prompted by one such freak on tiktok #who commented on a video about two girls being friends with a height difference #"couldn't be me short people are a no for me 😂''#like what?? lmao WHAT??#that's not some silly quirky preference u just admitted to there #u rly just said u hate short people so much u cant even stand to be friends with them #that's out of this fucking world bizarro freakshow behavior #i never heard that take in my life lmfao 😭💀#that dude out there sayin it like it's normal 💀💀💀

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oooortcloud · 10 months

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#hate that stage when youve almost completely dirfted apart but not fully in your friendships #and both sides are putting in half assed efforts to actually be better at friending i dunno #actually. not both the other #and it sucks so much !!!!!!#i hate you but i miss how we were and i love you and why wont you talk to me ?????#“its not the same the both of us now” fuck you ???? fuck you #i want her completely out of my life or how it was beforw i cant stand this in between #it just hurts so much

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chooey · 1 year

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just finished breaking bad

#spoilers ahead so! tread lightly #breaking bad #bc i binged a lot of this show some episodes do not stick out to me like i cant tell u what happened on which episode or even which season #the naz!s were so left field like i think the story would still be the same without the hooked cross tattoos #it was surprising how the drug cartel or whatever didnt have much involvement in s5. like why did i think for sure theyd relocate to mexico #a follow up wouldve been nice is all im saying #OK. characters! my fav were mike jesse gus skyler and saul. hated walt literally since day 1. didnt change much up until the end #listen i can understand the concept of characters being morally bankrupt egotistical narcissistic abusive and manipulative #but walt was just . not charming enough a character to do it sorry he is what he is. sorry to him but i cannot stand him #i can appreciate some of his monologues though! fly (episode) was great for that the show needed it at least in my opinion #i like that all the characters are fundamentally flawed ! walt is at his core insufferable but he makes a good tragic story👍🏼#hank was so stupid like? 😭 when lab equipment from walt's school were stolen i thought that'd be it lollll #it was well written for the most part i think!!!!! some parts needed suspension of disbelief but whatever yk #what matters to me the most is whether i cried or not and yeah. yeah i did cry!!!!!! so what!!!!!!!!!#THEMES. obv theres change/corruption... power and abuse of power. toxic masculinity? and family. living life to the fullest if ur insane #also!!! just finished el camino and i liked it! simple story but i like the themes in it. this man's been through so much #jesse was point blank a victim of abuse and im glad he gets to leave the past behind and move forward with his life #owned up to the choices that gotten him up to this point. had control over his life again and building a new future for himself #very cool. also the ending of brba? i think it's good enough i mean i cant think of anything more fitting #but man did he do some incredible... maybe irreparable damage to his family huh. midlife crisis things <3 #i hope they heal <3 somehow <3 #wait about the themes too in brba!! one is reaching ur full potential... again if ur insane #idk maybe sometimes it's ok to flop. just as long as ur enjoying ur life and ur happy... i think that's fine! walt u and i will never agree #izza💭

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