#honestly being apart from her is the only reason i fear there being no after life at all

[caffeinatedopossum]

I keep crying really easily

[fatuismooches]

What are the Harbingers like when they’re jealous?

if i can't have you baby, no one else in this world can.

Imagine the Harbingers when they're jealous.

Pierro is at the age where it’s simply too late to get immaturely jealous. He values independence and won’t meddle too much in your affairs. Of course, he’ll be there if anything serious or dangerous happens, but with his position, you’ll need to adjust to being apart for various lengths of time. Therefore, Pierro won’t be mad when you talk to others. In fact, he’ll encourage it considering how he doesn’t want you to feel too lonely. Though, he’ll advise you to stay away from certain Harbingers… Anyway, Pierro doesn’t exactly get jealous, but rather, sad. He’s happy to see you all lively and joyful with others, someone as bright and pure as you deserve it. After all, a sinner like him has no right to dictate who you should interact with or how you should feel. At the same time, Pierro can’t help but feel a twinge of sorrowfulness. Perhaps you would be more happy without him. Unintentionally becomes more distant from you and won’t say anything until you notice first. Please sit him down and explain to him how much you love and him you’ll never leave him for anyone. He’ll appreciate that a lot.

Dottore considers himself to be smart enough now not to fall for the jealousy trap. He’s lived for hundreds of years, obtained unspeakable and great knowledge, and is able to bring even Gods to his feet. There is no reason for him ever to feel a frivolous emotion such as jealousy. He’s confident in himself, and he’s confident in you. There is no one he’s been with longer than you, and he trusts you, to continue to be a constant in his life. Even if he does get jealous, it’ll probably be by his clones hogging you and even then he could send them off with a snap of his fingers. And well, I doubt anyone else would come up to you when there’s always a version of Dottore near you. Though, there are some clones from his younger years that you can easily tell when they’re jealous. It’s honestly a bit funny but nostalgic to see how different he is. You remember when he’d get all silent whenever you had to leave your shared dorm room in the Akademiya. (He didn’t want you mingling with those incompetent scholars because he feared for your intelligence, he claimed. You knew he was just jealous and lonely.)

Columbina is a bit surprised at her jealousy. She likes to take things easy and not too seriously, so the feeling of a stab of envy is new to her, but she welcomes it. Columbina believes that this is all part of the joy of relationships, discovering new emotions and things about each other, so she won’t take it too seriously. She’ll actually be happy that she feels for you so much, that she’s able to get jealous. It’s quite an accomplishment and milestone! Though if the person ever makes you uncomfortable, they’re next on her hit list. Columbina tends not to understand the concept of personal space sometimes, so she’ll just stroll up to you and hug you from behind, or rest her head on your shoulders, whatever she’s in the mood for, and just… smile. This usually is enough for the other person to back off and leave you alone. If you ask Columbina about her jealousy, she won’t hide or deny it, and instead hum and weave a pleasing string of words about how only a fool wouldn’t be possessive of you. Perhaps she’s more devilish than we give her credit for?

Capitano is the confused one. The feeling has been following him around all day, and he can’t seem to pinpoint where or when it started. You’re going to have to notice something is a bit off with your lover because he most likely won’t go to you first. Capitano has a bit of a problem with showing vulnerability. He’s expected to be the unmoving, sturdy, and dependable Captain at all times, so having to put his walls down can be quite hard sometimes. (Even while cuddling he can be really stiff which you have to keep telling him to relax.) Though after a bit of your usual pestering and refusing to let go of him, he relents. You’ve always been persistent in helping him show emotions despite kind of failing, so what would it hurt to tell you? You always seem to know things that he doesn’t. Though he finds himself a bit abashed after the realization hits you and you struggle to tell him through laughter that he’s simply jealous. Afterward, he finds it a bit embarrassing - a high-ranking Harbinger such as him being inflicted with something like that. But Capitano is still rather grateful for you teaching him more about this emotion and how to control it. Reassures you that it won’t happen again but it wasn’t like you were complaining, you teased. He prefers if you didn’t bring this up again because he doesn’t like thinking about his moments of weakness.

Scaramouche is pissed. Furious at some person for speaking to you like that, furious at you for making him feel this way, but most importantly furious at himself for succumbing to such a stupid and exhausting human emotion. His line of thought is something like this: How dare they try to act all buddy-buddy with you? And how dare you give them that sweet smile and laugh of yours, when that’s reserved for him only? The second someone looks at you the wrong way has him completely zoned in and aware of their actions, in case they try to pull something. In moments he’ll have them shivering and running away in tears, maybe a broken bone too if he’s especially pissed. Depending on his mood and how well you comfort him, they may live to see another day. If you call him out on his jealousy, he’ll just shake his head and deflect the accusations, calling you an idiot instead (affectionately.) Will be closer and more touchy with you for the rest of the day.

The Wanderer, on the other hand, has grown to be more mature and less confrontational about it. He’s calmed down a bit from his Fatui years and admits that his way of dealing with things wasn’t the most optimal, and is doing his best to be a better lover for you. He now trusts you enough to be able to deal with things by yourself. Though, don’t think that he won’t spring into action. He’ll still stand close by, arms crossed and hat covering his expression, listening in. The moment the person says something a little too inappropriate or you start looking uncomfortable, he’s standing in front of you in a flash, glaring at the person. If they don’t get the hint, they’ll receive a personal berating from him. Teasing him for being jealous will result in him scoffing and walking away rather quickly, leaving you to run after him. 

Innocent Kabukimono doesn’t understand why he’s feeling this way! You’re just talking to a villager, someone he knows, and yet his chest is twisting and turning all painfully as he watches! A part of him just wants to go up to you and pull you away, but that wasn’t what good humans did, was it? So he just sulks and sulks with pouty cheeks, to the point Niwa is concerned for him. When Kabukimono explains what he’s feeling, he just laughs and pats him on the back, explaining the concept of jealousy, and advises the puppet to simply communicate with you about it. When Kabukimono does speak to you about it, fiddling with his veil and clothes shyly, you can’t help but coo at how cute he was being, and assure him that he’ll always be number one in your heart. When he asks for a few kisses for reassurance, you can’t help but agree.

Sandrone does not know what to do or make with this feeling. She is aware of what it is, but like, how should she go about dealing with it? She could just go up to you and drag you away, it would be quite easy for her to do that with the Automaton behind her and all. Or she could just let you be. You are quite different from her after all. You enjoy talking to other people and interacting with them, while she could care less. So Sandrone simply retreats to her little safe haven, her lab chock-fulled with her inventions and machines and then a specific section she made for little creations dedicated for you. And she works and works, well, more like tries to work but her head is steaming from how some random person can hog your attention like that. And she can no longer tolerate that. Eventually, if you don’t come back to her quick enough, she’s going to find you herself and take matters into her own hands, regardless of whatever conversation you’re having. Teasing her about it may result in one of her machines picking you up and dangling you above the floor. But she’s really just happy you’d choose her over anyone.

La Signora is another one who's quite confident in your relationship. I mean, she’s gorgeous, you’re gorgeous, you two were practically made for each other. So, whenever people talk to you, she can’t help but understand since you’re so alluring. But her favorite part is showing off to everyone that hah, too bad, you’re already taken by her. As if anyone else could ever be worthy of you, she thinks, pitying those poor fools who think they ever had a chance with you. And she will make this ideology absolutely clear to anyone and everyone. She’s so tall, she probably towers over the other person and gives them a look that definitely makes them feel like a pest. She has one hand tracing over your collarbones and the other stroking your hair while she looks at the other person dead in the eye as if daring them to say something. Of course, they don’t. Signora finds the whole ordeal more amusing than anything and will laugh with you if you bring it up. Oh darling, she tells you, it’ll take a lot more than that to truly upset her. However, although she enjoys watching the hope fall out of other people’s eyes, it does get tiring sometimes. Maybe you need more matching accessories? Would a hickey do?

Pantalone is well acquainted with the feeling of jealousy. He’s felt it since he was a child, envying others for what he could not have. And now he’s climbed up and up the ladder, to the point where everyone is jealous of him instead, not the other way around. He’d never have to feel that feeling again, as he had anything a man could ever dream of. Except… he’s jealous yet again. Not over material possessions or wealth, but you. But Pantalone hides his jealousy quite well, just like he does with his other emotions, under that smile of his. Other people won’t notice but… if you look closely you may see his smile is a bit strained. Pantalome keeps up the polite persona but may throw in a few snide comments. He keeps a firm arm around your waist and ushers you out of there rather quickly. You probably shouldn’t bring it up later. Pantalone sometimes fears he will be that same boy stuck in poverty and left with nothing again, although he never expresses it. He sometimes fears he will lose you too. Don’t say anything. Simply come up from behind and hug him. Pull off that huge jacket of his. Give him lots of kisses and finally one on the lips, telling him he never needs to worry about being separated from you.

Arlecchino looks emotionless as ever but the jealousy eats her up inside. It leaves a taste in her mouth that’s more bitter than her coffee. She’s the kind of person to do something about it as soon as she feels the feeling creeping up. Does not tolerate anything from anyone (besides you) so you can be sure that she’s going to put a stop to it right away. The thing about Arlecchino is that she doesn’t even need to say anything to scare the person off. Her aura can be so icy and intimidating, downright terrifying sometimes if she felt like it. Not to mention the contempt laced in her eyes could probably kill a man. So when Arlecchino gets jealous, she doesn’t remain like that for long because the problem is solved rather quickly. Plus, she doesn’t really see anything wrong with it. She just sees it as her protecting you from creeps. So if you tease her about it she won’t really be affected by that either. Arlecchino simply kisses you on the forehead and tells you to come to play with the children instead. (Though if you tell her you enjoyed seeing her jealous, she’ll get a teeny bit surprised. She didn’t think you actually liked seeing her like that because many view her as terrifying. You still think she’s so damn hot. And cute when she suddenly can’t make eye contact with you for a few seconds.)

Childe is quite confident and secure in his relationship with you. He cherishes you deeply, and his family loves you as well. You two may not have the most time together, but when you are, you spend it to the fullest. So when he feels the nag of jealousy rising, he’s a bit surprised but plays it off as nothing. It’s just that being away from you for so long has him a bit needy. Though, a teeny tiny part of him wonders if someone else would be better for you, someone that can offer you stability, that won’t leave you waiting for months to return. He would respect your decision… but he quickly ceases that line of thinking. He knows you love him, and he loves you even more, so there was no reason to be worried. Though he might get a bit competitive with the other person, trying to show off a little. And if the person’s making you uncomfortable… well, his passive aggressiveness and less-than-friendly smile are making an appearance. Also, you’ll probably notice he’s more insistent on treating you right. Always being a gentleman and not letting you lift a finger, showering you with all the love he can muster. Childe is always ready to do everything in his power to keep the title of best boyfriend for you. Please watch him cook and clean the dishes! Look, he’s drawing a bubble bath for you right now!

[gucciwins]

Can you please write one where harry and reader, who is apart of the love band, being together and they get married without the media and the fans finding out. So when he is introducing the band he introduces her as mrs. Styles and everyone freaks out?

a/n: hiii friends! it's been a while but I am here to share another story. originally this was supposed to be something short and sweet but here is 9k of a new story I hope you enjoy 💜💜💜

+

Harry had fallen in love with her from the moment he saw her though he can’t say the same for Y/N. He knew it was foolish to call it love when all he knew was her name. He fell in love with how she got lost on stage playing each song. It was something he wanted to never forget. When Jeff told Harry he was going to meet Y/N, he froze and almost decided to leave, but he knew he had to see her and hear her voice because if he didn’t, he’d regret it for the rest of his life.

The reason Harry was here tonight at the Roxy was because he was forming his band. He was in the middle of writing an album, and Jeff thought she would be the perfect addition. Harry didn’t know then how meeting Y/N would change his life. Harry loved telling this story to anyone who asked how they first met. It’s one he’s said during the production of his first album endless times and during interviews. 

He walked up to Y/N, smiling, but it dropped when she turned around, and his eyes caught the grin she was giving him. Instead, he dropped her gaze to rest on her collarbones, where a delicate pearl necklace rested. Harry knew he was admiring her necklace, but to everyone else, it looked like he was admiring her chest. Harry only realized when Jeff nudged him. Y/N didn’t say a word, only told Harry it was great to meet him and looked forward to hearing his music. 

“There is no music yet,” he told her honestly. 

“What is there?” She asks, looking at him curiously. 

“Heart and soul,” he confesses. 

“Well, Harry. I look forward to joining you in the studio if that’s alright.”

Harry quickly nods his head. “Tomorrow if you’d like.” 

Y/N shares a look with Jeff, who only shrugs, “if that’s what you’d like.” She’s called away, and Harry knows he will be counting down the minutes until he sees her tomorrow. She leans close to him, and Harry relishes her sweet cherry smell. “Next time you want to stare at my boobs, maybe don’t make it so obvious.” 

Harry pulls away, shocked, at a loss for words, unable to defend himself. 

“See you, Harry.” She sends him a smile that makes him feel warm, and he tries his best to commit it to memory. 

Jeff claps his shoulders, unable to contain his laughter, “man, you’re down bad.”

“I’m in love,” he breathes out. 

“You’re insane. That’s what you are. No way Y/N will ever date you,” Jeff laughs, but Harry is determined. 

Harry shakes his head, “I’ll be sure to remember that at our wedding, where you will not be invited.” 

Safe to say, Harry had to work hard for her love, but he never regretted it. Not one single moment because it led him to be loved by her. 

+

After that studio session, Harry had no shame in asking Y/N to join his team as a writer and guitarist. She told him she’d think about it, and with the fear that her answer would be no, Harry got on his knees and begged her to say yes. She couldn’t even hold in her laugh. “Jeff thought you’d do something like this, but I assured him you’d be professional.” 

Harry laughs awkwardly on his knees, looking up at her. “Is that a yes?” 

Y/N shakes her head at Harry’s antics. “Yes, Styles. I’ll join this team.” Harry gets up and hugs her tightly. “With one request,” she voices. 

“Anything. Absolutely anything.” Harry promised. He would give her the moon or a million dollars if she wanted. 

“Sarah Jones. She has to be brought on as your drummer.” Y/N sighs then, “I don’t know if she’d say yes, but you’d be a fool not to ask.” 

And like that, Harry had three members in his band. 

Mitch would be hired a week later. 

From there, the four of them became the best of friends. While Harry was enraptured around Y/N, trying his best to spend time with her, he missed seeing the sparks fly around Sarah and Mitch. Harry was busy when they arrived from Jamaica, having no time for the band, which broke his heart. He loved seeing them and getting dinner with them but promoting a new album was no joke. 

His new friend Mitch was living in his old flat. Mitch quickly got on with Harry’s friends, but soon enough, even they did not see him. It was then he found out how Mitch was always getting dinner with Sarah, and Y/N would join occasionally. Harry knew he was more than welcome, but with the single releasing soon and tour rehearsal starting, he knew he’d seen her more than enough. 

They had been rehearsing for a few days when Y/N walked into the studio in tears. Harry quickly rushed over to her, leaving Jeff to speak to himself. He looked her over and found her unharmed, but he still took her in his arms, assuring her she was okay. Harry knew it was bad because she didn’t even push him away. 

“You’re okay, you’re okay,” he kept repeating. At this point, he wasn’t sure if it was more for him or her. 

Y/N pushed him away after a few minutes. Sarah was beside her, slipping her hand around her waist to support her. “My guitar was stolen,” she mutters. “I-I-I went for coffee in the shop down the street, and when I returned, my window was smashed. They only took the guitar, nothing else,” Y/N cries.

Harry feels his heartbreak for Y/N. During a restless night in Jamaica, she shared how it was her grandfather’s guitar. He gave her lessons from a young age, and her mother hated it because she always had a new cut or callous. It was a big part of her childhood, and when Y/N shared she wanted to pursue music as a career, her grandfather was the first to support her. He gifted her the guitar knowing she would produce magic with it, and he wasn’t wrong. Y/N created beautiful melodies for his first album with that guitar, the Fender J Bass American Deluxe. The one her grandfather, played on his wedding day. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he voices, knowing this heartbreak is not something he can heal. Harry immediately sends a message to all the crew and friends in the area to see if they spot her missing guitar or see someone with her guitar case. Harry tells the band they’ll meet tomorrow instead, and she is quick to disagree, stating she can play, but he promises her it’s okay. “Jeff was telling me about this meeting I have to attend.” 

Jeff nods, frowning at Y/N. The band gathers around Y/N, and they’re quick to have her laughing, promising to take her to lunch. 

“Y/N, your car? Is it okay?” Harry asks, knowing it can’t be safe to drive with broken glass. 

“Huh,” she turns to him, confused. “Oh, uh. I drove it here. The backseat is full of glass, and I didn’t even think of anything I needed to fix.”

Harry waves her off, “I know a guy. He can take it to the mechanic. I’ll make sure to have it dropped off at your flat.” 

“Harry, I couldn’t–” 

He cuts her off. “Please, it’s the least I can do.” Harry knows he shouldn’t feel guilty, but if he hadn’t scheduled a band practice, then her guitar wouldn’t have been in her car and therefore stolen. Sarah assures him she’ll get Y/N home. 

Y/N walks out with the band all crowding around her, and Harry knows she’s in safe hands. It doesn’t hurt that he wishes he was the one comforting her, but it’s true he has business to take care of. She just doesn’t know it’s all for her. 

After the hell of the day, she had Y/N went home and cried some more. It was well into the evening when she got a text from Harry that her car would be dropped off soon. She was thankful. He was kind enough to help her. She knows other bosses would be rude and awful, but not in this industry with Harry as her boss. She opens her door to find a young man with a key in one hand and a guitar case in the other. 

“That mine?” She points at it, confused. 

The young fellow shrugs, “you Y/N?” 

She nods silently. 

“Then it’s yours.”

Y/N takes it from him, bidding the man goodnight after checking her car was out front. She hurries inside, curious as to why they also sent a guitar. She opens it up and gasps. In the case is a yellow semi-hollow Epiphone Jack Casad. She told Harry this was a dream guitar she was saving up for during their first studio session. Her name is engraved on the top of the guitar in beautiful handwriting. Y/N is careful to pick it up and is mesmerized by how nice it is. To no surprise, it’s a perfect fit in her hands, as if it was made for he

Y/N

I know there is no replacing the guitar you lost, but I was having this one made for you as a thank you for creating this album with me. I couldn’t have done it without you. Hope we can continue to create music together, and if not, because you’re too talented to stick around with someone like me, I hope you take this gift as an appreciation for my love for you. 

Love, H 

Harry was thinking about her because she knows a guitar takes months to make. Y/N appreciated it more than he knew. Y/N would spend the night playing with the guitar until it felt like hers. When she showed up the next day with the guitar, no one dared to say a word, but between the looks Y/N and Harry shared, they all knew. 

That note would be the first sign that Y/N picked up on that maybe, just maybe, Harry liked her as more than a friend. 

+

The album was well received, and Harry was over the moon. The first shows were nerve-wracking, but having Y/N there calmed him. She gave him pep talks assuring him that the fans would love him, and love him they did. They screamed his songs back to him, and it was easy to get lost in the feeling of being on stage. Before he knew it, they were taking off on a sold-out tour across Europe and North America. 

He had started writing his second album with the help of the team and Y/N. She brought a beautiful melody, and it’s how the start of “Sunflower” kicked off the first song on the track though it would undergo various changes. He loved being in the studio with Y/N because she brought these ideas and perspectives he had never thought of. She was the heart of the album. Touring and writing with Y/N was a dream come true. 

Harry was having the time of his life, but Y/N still paid him no mind. She acted as if there was nothing between them, like there was no spark, which drove him crazy. Harry watched as Mitch and Sarah fell in love, and he wanted that. He craved it with Y/N, with only her. The fact that he couldn’t have her weighed heavy on him, and it got worse when he heard rumors of Y/N going on dates. It broke him because he loved her, and she only saw him as a friend.  They spent every free moment together, so the fact that she didn’t share she was seeing someone hurt because, at the end of the day, he wanted to see her happy. 

He wasn’t proud of what he did next.

There was woman after woman he brought to the show. Harry didn’t know what Y/N thought, but he slowly began to pull away, needing to get lost in someone else; even if it was for an hour, Y/N could consume his thoughts for the other 23 hours. Harry wanted her to want him, to miss him, so he began bailing on lunch with her, not including her in conversations. He thought she didn’t care because she had no response. She treated him the same with a friendly smile and easy conversation. 

Harry didn’t notice the change in her because he was too focused on the new person he was bringing around. If he got his head out of his ass, he would have seen every sad look Y/N shot his way. Or how Sarah urged her to talk to him, but Y/N would walk away. He didn’t see that she was slowly pushing away from not only him but the band. That she thought her days were numbered. 

It wasn’t until she fell sick that Jeff told her that her backup would be able to cover for her for however long she needed. That was all the confirmation she needed to know Harry was replacing her. It broke her, but it was his band, after all. 

Harry was ready to perform, huddled in the circle with the band, when he looked across from him to find unfamiliar eyes. He looked around but saw every member of his band except for her. His heart rate increased, and Harry knew he had lost her. 

Sarah met his gaze and took pity on him, “she’s sick.” 

At that moment, Harry wanted to cancel the show and run to her side, ensuring she was alright, but he couldn’t. He was sure it was the worst show of his life, but he didn’t have time for Jeff or anyone to give him shit for it. When he was off the stage, he drove to their hotel and pounded on her hotel room door. Then suddenly stopped when he realized that wouldn’t help her.

The door creaked open, and there was Y/N with a red nose and sleepy eyes. 

“Hi, petal,” he greets softly, knowing he has to tread carefully. 

She rubbed her eyes as if trying to see if he was actually there. “Harry?” 

“It’s me. Can I come in?” 

Y/N doesn’t respond. She steps back, opening the door wider. She locks it behind him and crawls back into bed. She tells him to stay away because he has a show tomorrow, and he knows she’s right, but he doesn’t care. He sits at the foot of her bed. 

“How are you feeling?” 

Y/N rolls her eyes, “I’ve been better.” 

Harry hates this lingering tension. “Sorry, you felt you couldn’t tell me.” 

She shrugs, “Jeff didn’t want to get you sick.” 

“You’ve never gone through, Jeff before,” he reminds her. 

“That was before,” Y/N muttered.

Harry sulks, letting his shoulders drop in frustration. “What you goin’ on about?” 

“The fact that I’m getting sacked,” she tells him, never one to beat around the bush.

“Sorry,” he can’t believe what she is saying. “I would never.”

She scoffs, clearly not believing him. “Don’t have to lie to me. Very convenient that your friend is my replacement tonight. We clearly know I’m replaceable.” 

“Don’t you dare say that,” his voice firm. He had never seen her as replaceable. His heart breaks thinking about doing a tour without her. “You created this band. I wouldn’t be having the time of my life on stage if you weren’t there next to me. You’re my best friend.” 

Y/N has turned away from him, and as much as he hates it, he respects her enough to let her be. “Some way to show it,” she murmurs. 

Harry hates that her voice is so weak and timid around him. She’s never once taken his shit, but here he is on the verge of losing her.  “I-I,” he sighs. “I’ve fucked up badly.” 

“I get that you’re dating and such, but when you start acting like a dick and treating others like they’re beneath you, that’s when you know you’ve lost against the industry.” He lets her words sink in. “I feel like I’ve lost you.”

A direct hit to the heart.

“You did nothing wrong,” Harry assures her. Y/N motions for him to explain. “I was going through shit and felt selfish going to you for help. You’ve seen me through a lot, and I didn’t want to add more,” he lies. Harry is full of lies, but he can’t tell her he loves her. Not like this. “It was easier to get lost around others that don’t care about me.” 

Y/N turns to look at him. Her tired eyes are locked with his, and he knows she’s trying to read him. That he’s an open book for her, he always has been. She won’t find anything at this moment because he knows he has to bury his love for her deep inside if he wants to keep her. 

“Y/N, I’m sorry for icing you out. I’m sorry for not showing you I care. You’re always my number one since the moment you entered my life. I would never dream of kicking you out of your band. I will understand if you want to leave but know you will always have a spot here with me. 

“Well fuck you first,” she tells him outright. “I’m not going anywhere. I just needed you to get your head out of your ass. Though if you ditch me for a groupie, I’ll cut off your dick.” 

Harry shakes his head, not surprised at all by her words. This is his girl. 

“Don’t worry, you’ll always be my favorite girl.” 

Those words settle deep in Y/N’s heart. When Harry pulled away from her, Y/N swore she felt a crack in her heart because it was sinking in that she was losing him, but she didn’t understand why it hurt so much to be replaced. 

It wasn’t until later that night after she kicked him out of her room to stay away until she felt better she received a basket of her favorite teas and snacks from home. Even a few books she had been eyeing but had not had the time to buy. It’s when Y/N began to realize that she was in love with him. Though she had no idea how he could feel, she did the only thing she could do. She packed those feelings in a box and moved on.

+

Real World Studio was a dream to work at, and it was even better because he had his friends with him. Harry usually could not keep his eyes off Y/N, but tonight he wished she was anywhere but here. After seeing her on a date last night, he was fuming, and he knew it was dumb to ignore her. It was impossible in the studio. Y/N had her guitar in her lap, and it was this beautiful melody someone could get lost in. Except, he wouldn’t take the time to give it a full listen. 

“H, just give it a listen,” she pleads, knowing her song's potential. 

Harry exhales, “nothing special, it doesn’t fit.” 

Y/N feels her anger rise at his dismissal but decides better than to argue with him. She goes to the corner of the room, dropping her guitar, not wanting the memory of Harry for the moment, and picks up Mitch’s spare. She doesn’t notice when Mitch sits next to her. Too lost in her head, cursing Harry out. 

“Y/N,” she looks up at him. “It’s good.” Having heard the song a few times, Mitch now plays it on his guitar, and Y/N can’t help the smile that takes over her face. Mitch’s talent is undeniable. 

Harry perks up, calling out Mitch’s name to play that song again. “Come on, Mitch, again.” 

Mitch grimaces, “H, it’s—”

“Again,” Harry requests.

Mitch does as he asks but only gets a few notes in when Y/N stomps over to him. She pushes him hard, causing him to stumble. The entire room falls silent. Harry feigns confusion, not knowing what he did wrong.

“You’re an arrogant son of a bitch,” she spits angrily. Y/N walks out of the studio with her head held, and Harry deflates, knowing he went too far. 

“Man, what’s up with you? That’s—you have never treated any of us like that,” Sammy tells him, confused. 

Harry throws his notebook across the room in frustration, “Y/N has a fucking boyfriend and hasn’t told me. Saw her having dinner last night.” 

Mitch scoffs, “so that gives you permission to be a dick.” 

Sammy laughs, Harry whips his head to look at him and is about to tell him to shut up when Sammy drops a bomb on him. “I went to dinner with her last night.” Harry feels his anger bubble. “I have this friend that wants to work with her.”

Harry backs down, shoulders slumping, “I’m a dick,” he agrees. 

“Think you should go find her,” 

“And say what?” He looks at them for answers. 

“Sorry, is a good start,” Tyler offers. 

Mitch shakes his head, “he can never admit he’s sorry or that he’s the jealous type.” 

Harry walks out knowing they aren’t any help but knows he does have to apologize. Y/N doesn’t deserve how he treated her. The good thing Y/N didn’t go far; she’s sitting on the hood of her car staring at the night sky. 

“Y/N,” he calls out to not startle her. 

“Thought you’d come out sooner,” she sasses. 

He exhales, “The boys were chewing me out.” 

“Hmm…” 

Harry stands before her, and regret is written all over his face. “I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that. I was an asshole for my own stupid reasons.” 

“Okay,” she mutters.

He takes a step closer, his hands resting on her thighs. “I’m just a jealous son of a bitch and took it out on you. I’m sorry, you’re my favorite person, and that’s no excuse for treating you this way.” 

She smirked, hearing him repeat her earlier words she screamed in the heat of her anger. “I put up with a lot of your crap.” 

“And I’m grateful,” he promises her. 

“Maybe too much,” she teases. 

Harry knows she’s right. “Then don’t anymore.” 

“Fine.” 

“Fine,” he repeats. 

“Leave then,” she waves him off, and something inside him snaps. Her words don’t hold malice, and he’s not leaving without her. They both know that. 

He steps between her legs, not giving her any room to escape him. Y/N looks at him with wide eyes, uncertain of his next move. Harry pushes a few strands of her hair back. His eyes fall down to her lips and then move back up. Before he can convince himself otherwise, Harry leans in, pressing his lips against Y/N’s. He feels her tense up, but she melts into him within the next few seconds. He leads the kiss in a steady rhythm allowing himself to get to know what she likes. It feels like coming home, and he wonders how he went so long without tasting her. He knows one will never be enough; he wants more. Harry wants all her kisses. 

Y/N pulls away breathless, one look at her face, and Harry knows she’s panicking. It’s settling in quick, but Harry has always been able to calm her, a special trick he’s learned for years of knowing her. His take will be slightly different tonight.

“Y/N I l–” Y/N stops him. 

“Please,” she pleads. Begging him not to say it. Harry sighs, taking a step back.

“We’ll talk tomorrow,” he promises. 

Harry walks her back to the hotel for the night with the promise of breakfast together. He hopes breakfast happens, but part of him knows it won’t happen. The following day he was informed she had checked out. All that was left was a note saying she was sorry and that she would call him soon. That same night he was on a flight to Japan. 

After all, there’s an album to finish. 

+

Two weeks in Japan weren’t enough to heal his heartbreak, but it was the perfect place to meet friends, try good food, and write new songs. He had written five new ones, and though he knew some might not make it to the album now, maybe they would for the next one. 

His birthday had come along, and he spent it alone reading in a cafe. Harry got endless texts from his family wishing him a happy day, but there was one person he hoped would call. Except that she didn’t. Everyone told him to move on, but he wanted to grieve this love because Y/N wasn’t just anybody to him. She was the one. He’s willing to fight for her because he knows what it’s like to live without her and hates it. Harry misses her, but he’s also hurt. 

It was early morning when there was a loud knock on his door. He stumbled out of bed in no rush to open his door. After a surprise party last night, he allowed himself to have one too many shots and now is paying the price for it. Y/N always reminded him to have some water and a Tylenol before bed on nights they went drinking.

Harry swung his door open, expecting to see Tom or Tyler but standing in front of him was Y/N. A timid smile was on her face, a large duffel hanging off her shoulder and a gift bag in her hand. 

“Hi, Harry,” she broke the silence after a few seconds (minutes, he couldn’t be sure.) “I-I’m sorry to show up announced. Uh–Gems convinced me it would be a good idea.” 

He has no idea why he’s here, and he can’t even ask her why she’s here because it seems he has lost the ability to speak. He never imagined her coming to Japan for him.

“I’m sorry for leaving. I’m sorry for stopping you from saying something you probably have held in for a long time.” She pauses, looking around her, nervous someone could overhear her. That’s when Harry realizes they’re standing at his doorway.

Wordlessly he moves aside to let her in. Harry locks the door behind her as she drops her bag and presents by the door. Y/N takes her time slipping off her shoes. He can spot her hands shaking but doesn’t dare comment on it. 

“Harry,” she says his name with so much love it gives him a glimmer of hope. “I love you,” she shouts. 

Harry was not prepared for her confession. He wasn’t prepared for her. “And I think you love me?” She questions. 

Harry doesn’t answer. 

Y/N looks around the room nervously. This is not how she pictured the moment on the flight here. Sure, she wasn’t expecting the warmest greeting, but she also didn’t expect silence. Y/N was not sure how to go from here. Before she can begin to think about how bad of an idea this is, Harry takes a step forward; she doesn’t dare move away. He stops until there is no space between them. 

There are two things he could tell her: one would make her the happiest person alive, and the other has the possibility of breaking her. Except, there’s a third option she wasn’t thinking about because Harry was never good with his words. He always thought actions speak louder than words, so he leaned in and kissed her. This kiss was soft and full of love, nothing like their first kiss. Harry was gentle with her, like if he was rougher, she’d break or disappear. Y/N lets herself fall into Harry as he explores her mouth, their mouths moving in perfect unison until he breaks away, giving her a chance to catch her breath. Even then, he doesn’t move far away; he kisses every inch of her face until Y/N breaks into a fit of laughter due to the brush of his stubble on her skin, something he was letting grow during his time here. 

“I love you,” Harry tells her. It’s the first time he’s said it out loud, but it doesn’t feel like the first time, not when he’s loved her for years. “I have loved you from the very first day.” 

Y/N slaps his shoulder playfully, “shut up, Harry.” She doesn’t believe him. Why would she? Y/N was a stranger, but the first time he saw her, Harry felt like he had arrived home. He was united with someone who had been missing from him all his life. 

“Will never shut up,” Harry promises. “Not when I get to tell you I love you every day, every hour, every minute.” 

“I’m sorry for the wait,” she holds his face in her hands, taking in his beautiful green eyes staring at her with so much love that she feels she might explode.

“You will always be worth the wait. Always, Y/N.”

+

December 13th had finally arrived. 

“Are you really doing this?” Harry asks nervously on the chair next to her. 

Y/N rolled her eyes, “I told you I would.” 

“Tattoos are forever,” he reminds her. 

Mateo, her tattoo artist, places the stencil on her ribs as Harry checks in for the tenth time to see if she really wants to be tattooed. “The cherries on my ass are a good reminder I know what I’m doing.”

Harry sinks back in his chair, defeated. “It’s just this is permanent. These are my lyrics going into your skin forever.” 

“Oi, give me some credit, would you? Worked on these songs with you. This one is special. I want it with me forever,” Y/N vows.

Today, his second album Fine Line was released for the world to hear. Every time he released music, he gave a bit of himself away from Lights up to Cherry; these were his stories on love, identity, and heartbreak.  Harry knows he didn’t do it alone, but his fans don’t care for the process; they want the stories and meanings of each song. He won’t give them that, not now, not ever. Y/N, his guitar player and now also his girlfriend, was getting a tattoo in honor of the second album they have written together being released. 

“I thought you’d get a sunflower tattooed or even a watermelon,” he smirks at the last suggestion. 

Y/N scoffs, “you dirty-minded lover.” 

“You love it,” he tells her.

She does. She really does. “Doesn’t matter. I love you. I want to know that no matter what, we’ll be alright. I would go through hell and back for you, so what better way than to get those words that mean so much to me.” 

Harry knows there’s no chance she’s leaving without the tattoo, so he relents letting Mateo begin. “I love you.” And that’s enough for now. It seems he will have to get a new tattoo for her seeing as she’d have his handwriting etched in her skin forever. 

He was going crazy and set to go on stage in twenty minutes, yet no one could find Y/N. Harry had called her again and again, yet no answer. He knew she hadn’t left the venue, but somehow everyone on staff could not find her. It wasn’t until he found Y/N in a small green room sitting with his special guest of the night, Stevie Nicks. They were lost in conversation and didn’t even hear him come in. 

“Y/N,” he breathed out, relieved. He shoots a text to Jeff that he found her. 

Y/N grins up at him, and simple as that, all his worry evaporates. “Hi, pretty.” 

To no surprise, Harry’s face heats up at the compliment. “Poppet went crazy searching for you.”

Stevie stands up, “oh, that’s my fault. I just had to steal her away. It’s been some time since we’ve been able to catch up. Nice to know you took my advice.” 

“Actually, Stevie–” Y/N begins, but Harry interrupts her. 

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing. We’ve got to get Y/N ready to stage soon.” Harry pushes her towards the door. 

Y/N makes a show of rolling her eyes and sighing dramatically. “Bye, Stevie, always an honor.” 

Harry promises Stevie to see her soon, all while Y/N mutters how she can’t believe he embarrassed her in front of Stevie Nicks. He knows she’s joking but never makes anything easy for him. 

“Hey, Y/N?”

“Hmm…”

“I love you,” and like magic, she melts into him, allowing him to take her towards his dressing room as he grabs her in-ears and prepares her to head out on stage. 

“Love you, Harry. Proud of you. It’s your big day.” She’s been telling him all week, from listening parties to the Spotify event to last night at 9pm when the album dropped on the West Coast to this very moment. 

“Our, our special day,” he reminds her.

Y/N waves him off, “your album. I’m just the guitar player.”

Harry won’t have that. He approaches Y/N, gently lifting her face to look at him. She’s staring at him with those glimmering eyes full of love. “You’re the muse of this album, but you’re also the co-writer. You play a killer solo in She that Mitch is begging for you to let him play. This album is ours, but it is also entirely yours. I am entirely yours.” 

Y/N’s eyes welled up with tears. “Ours,” she repeats. 

It ends up being a perfect night. A show they’ll go on to share with friends, family, and future generations for years to come. 

+

Gearing up for tour after a successful album had everyone buzzing, except everything came to a halt because of a pandemic affecting the entire world. Everyone was taking the needed precautions to keep the safety of others in mind. Harry and Y/N decided to stay with Mitch and Sarah because it was better to be with others during this challenging time.

As awful as everything was in the world, Harry was grateful for the time to flourish his relationship with Y/N. 

It gave them a chance to fall more in love with each other. He learned all her childhood stories, and she learned that he was an early riser and liked his coffee dark. They used this time to write an album full of love, longing, and heartbreak. It was their love story in the strangest of ways. He knew the album might not be well received, but he loved it. Most importantly, Y/N loved it, and that’s all that mattered. 

They stayed in California with friends for nearly a year until it was safe to fly home. It was then that they knew they would have to split a way to stay with family. Harry was not ready to let her go, not when he had her for all this time. Instead, he followed along to where she called home. Her baby sister was overjoyed to have Y/N home. Lila got to show Y/N all the knitting supplies she had gotten. Even all the plushies she made Y/N because they reminded Lila of her. (The bunny was his favorite, he got to keep it because he asked nicely.) Harry would never forget meeting Lila for the first time, seven years old, and worshiping the ground Y/N walked on. He understood the feeling very well. Y/N had brought her along for a rehearsal and, by the end of the day, had a meltdown because Harry mentioned them leaving for months. Lila begged Y/N not to go, to quit saying that she’d be able to take care of her if she stayed. Harry saw Y/N’s heartbreak and was tempted to step in, but he knew it wasn’t his place. 

“I hate you,” the young girl whispered when Y/N rushed off to get tissues. His heart broke knowing he was the reason she was hurting so much. “Fire her, fire my sister,” she pleaded.

Y/N returned with sympathy in her eyes, and Harry knew nothing he could say would make her feel better. “Poppet, you know those are harsh words. We don’t say them unless we mean them.”

“I do. I mean it,” Lila sniffled.

Y/N shook her head, wiping her younger sister’s tears away. “No, you don’t. You know how I know?” Lila shook her head. “Because you’ve got the biggest heart in the entire world. I know there is no way you can hold any darkness in there.” 

Lila wraps her arms around Y/N’s neck, and Harry knows he should leave and give them space, but he’s in awe at how well Y/N is validating her sister’s feelings. There’s no telling her to stop crying, only trying to make her understand. 

“I’m leaving, poppet. It’s my dream,” Y/N whispered. “I told you stories about being on stage that it’s my second favorite thing to do.” 

“First is painting with me?” Lila questions.

Y/N laughs, “you know it.” 

“Okay,” Lila hides her face in Y/N’s neck. “I love you.” 

Y/N kissed her sister’s cheek. “I love you too.” They squeeze each other tight, relishing in being together. “Now I think you owe someone an apology.” 

Lila sighed but did as Y/N requested. She walked towards Harry with Y/N standing behind her. “I’m sorry, Mr. Styles. You have to promise to care for her. She loves tea in the morning with lemon poppy muffins.” Lila shares making Harry and Y/N laugh. He keeps a mental note to make sure it’s always available for her during tours and meetings.

Harry kneels down to be at Lila’s level, knowing it will make them at an even level. “I promise to look after her. If you ever need her home, all you have to do is call, and I’ll have her on the first flight back to you.” 

Lila's eyes widen in surprise, “you can do that?” 

“I’m the boss,” he whispers. 

Y/N rolls her eyes at him, but mouths thank you. 

Harry kept true to his word, there was only one time when Lila called, and that’s all Y/N needed to say for him to assure her that it was okay to go. He went as far as buying her a first-class plane ticket. Lila fell, broke her arm, and needed her sister home. She was gone for five days, the longest days of his life, but when she returned, Y/N gave him the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. It’s something he will never forget. 

Now at twelve years old, Lila “tolerated” Harry. Y/N told him Lila was joking, but a part of him knew it was true he had taken her favorite person away. Harry knew he’d be heartbroken having Y/N leave him and hated that he made Lila experience that time and time again. 

“You break her heart, Harry, and I break you,” she threatened with her fist in the air.

“Woah, there, Rambo. No need to defend my honor,” Y/N giggled. “Just because you’re doing kickboxing classes doesn’t mean you need to go punching anyone.” 

“I will if he makes you cry,” Lila tells her while keeping her eyes on Harry.

He found this amazing because Harry was the younger sibling. He knew what it was like wanting to defend his older sister, not that she ever let him. He knew Gemma didn’t need protecting. “If anyone will do any crying, it’s Harry,” Y/N tells her sister. Y/N winks at him before turning her attention back to Lila. “He cries at The Lion King.”

“He does?” Lila says in disbelief. 

Harry scoffs playfully, “that was a secret.” 

Lila steps forward and taps his hand twice in what he assumes is her way of showing sympathy. “There, there. I understand. Scar is the worst villain. Let’s watch it now.” 

She pulls him away as Y/N mouths for him to remember to cry. Harry knew Y/N wanted her favorite people to get along, and if he had to cry during Mufasa’s death to get on a young girl’s good side, then so be it. Harry knows he would do anything for Y/N.

After a few months with Y/N’s family, they traveled to his family. When his mum saw him, she burst into tears and did not let him go for over ten minutes. Y/N got reacquainted with the cats then it was her turn for a long cuddle. His mother was in good hands, but returning home always made him realize how much he has missed. 

“Gems has gotten into a puzzle,” Anne shares as she serves them.

Harry laughs, “not surprised.” 

“H got really good at poker,” Y/N chimes in.” 

“And you miss paint by number,” he teases. 

Anne smiled fondly, seeing them tease each other as she took in the love clearly displayed on his face. “I can’t believe you’ve filmed movies.” 

Y/N rolls her eyes, “oh, Anne, he’s such a drama queen. Oh, that’s not what I ordered. It was a green smoothie, not pink,” Y/N mimics his accent awfully, making Anne burst out laughing. 

“Mum, you’re supposed to be on my side.” 

Anne shrugs, “she’s always been my favorite.” 

Y/N sticks her tongue at him, happy to return to conversing with Anne. Harry knew his mum was right; she had always been his favorite too.

+

With filming complete and the world a bit safer. It was time to get back on the road. Harry had a completed album that he was not ready to share yet. He wanted to enjoy singing songs from Fine Line before adding more to his setlist. Prepping for this tour, there were many new changes. For one, he hired Pauli Lovegood as his musical director, and the band had never sounded better. 

Harry was not surprised to see how well Pauli and Y/N got on. They were two people who instantly clicked when first meeting. Harry had many conversations with Pauli about the band and the chemistry and trust he liked to have on stage. Pauli stated that Y/N was the heart of the band and didn’t even realize it. Harry knew every time he got on stage because she kept him calm and safe each night. Sure, everyone raved about Sarah calling it Sarah’s band, and he didn’t doubt it for a second, but there was a special energy Y/N brought that no one was able to replicate. 

“Y/N goes out on stage every night like it might be her last,” Pauli shared after a rehearsal. They just didn’t realize Y/N was behind him listening.

“Is that a bad thing?” Y/N asks.

Pauli shakes their head. “Not at all. It makes your performance special.” He points back to the stage. “Because that was sound check. You played as if the crowd was already here.”

Y/N ducks her head, flustered, not realizing that Pauli was complimenting her. 

“Does that mean he won't ever fire me?” Y/N laughs, knowing it’s a dumb question.

Harry swings his hand over her shoulder, pulling her into his side. “I’d be an idiot to let you go. You know the only reason you’ll leave this job is if you decide that.” 

His words are true. Y/N has had many opportunities and offers to join another band or become a songwriter working with different artists, but it’s not what she wants.

During the tour, Y/N and Harry celebrate two years of dating. It’s a significant milestone for both of them because they had always had a slight fear of commitment, but together forever doesn’t seem long enough. It’s a cold day in November for Los Angeles, but Y/N doesn’t seem to mind since she dragged Harry to Malibu beach with her. 

They held hands as they walked down the shore, seagulls flying high and the beach vacant. No one is brave enough to visit the ocean during this cold season. Y/N had told him that water calms her; it reminds her there is so much more to life, and though she might never have the chance to learn about it, the world keeps turning.

“We’re almost going home,” Harry comments.

Home is London, in her small flat, while Harry goes to his large mansion. There are small details they have to work through, seeing as during this entire tour, they have never slept apart, even when Harry manages to push her buttons. 

“I’m excited to see Lila,” Y/N tells Harry. She talked to her sister as much as possible, but time zones made it difficult. “She’s grown two more inches, mum said.” 

Harry kisses her temple, there is so much they sacrifice for the life they live, but he wouldn’t change it for the world because it led him to Y/N. 

“Soon, you’ll see her soon,” he promises. Little does she know that in a few days, time in New York, Y/N will be hugging her sister, and Harry will happily share her because nothing makes him happier than seeing her happy. “I love you, Y/N.” 

Y/N nudges his shoulder playfully, “alright, you sap. I love you too. Come on, I'm getting hungry.” 

Harry stops walking. She doesn't notice until he has let go of her hand. She looks back at him confused but finds him kneeling on one knee, a small velvet box in his hand. Y/N doesn’t give him a chance to open it when she’s jumping on him, knocking him back into the sand. She’s crying against his chest, whispering yes over and over again. 

He laughs, “I haven’t even asked, love.”

She sniffles, “what are you waiting for?” 

Harry sits up, but Y/N doesn’t move from her place on his lap, sandy ring box back in his hand. He knows her answer, but his nerves are back, making his hands shake. Y/N notices and grabs his hands, pulling them to her chest. “Y/N, meeting you in 2015, I knew you were special. From our first conversation, I knew I could fall in love with you, and fall I did. It seems I’m still falling even now. You’re the reason the sun rises every morning and why the moon shines bright at night. You’re the reason why I wake up with a smile every day. You make the hard times bearable and the good times memorable. Y/N Y/LN, will you do me the biggest honor and marry me?” 

Y/N has endless tears running down her face, but her smile is bright. “Yes, Harry. I will marry you. Forever with you is all I want.” 

Harry leans in and kisses his fiancé. 

His fiancé.

Y/N is his fiancé. 

Anthony and a few friends gather somewhere in the distance, taking photos and videos for them. Y/N lets herself get lost in the feeling of his lips against hers. It’s slow and passionate. They are pouring every ounce of love into each other. This is the start of forever. 

“We’re getting married,” she laughs against his lips. 

“We are. Today, tomorrow, in a month, a year. Whenever you want, I will marry you,” Harry promises her. He hopes it’s sooner rather than later. 

“Let’s go home. I want to celebrate.” 

Their family could wait on the news. Tonight was all theirs. 

+

On April 29th, 2022, Harry married the love of his life in a private villa in Italy with their closest friends and family. It was the perfect day, the sun shining bright, and the Amalfi ocean gave them a wonderful breeze. 

“Today’s the day,” he whispered as Y/N sat in his lap out on the balcony of their room. Everyone told them it was bad luck to see each other before the wedding, but Y/N didn’t believe in superstitions, and Harry couldn’t bring himself to say goodnight to her after their rehearsal dinner. 

Y/N sighs, leaning back into him. “Feels like I’ve been waiting for you all my life.” 

Harry laughs, “I think I did all the waiting.” From the start, he always thought she’d never see him as anything more, but he is hours away from making her his wife. 

“Mhm…you’re right. Sorry for the wait.” 

Harry kisses her exposed shoulder. “I’d wait forever for you, my heart.” 

Y/N turns, taking in his expressions. Glimmering eyes and a shining smile, he was about to become her husband. “Let’s go get married, Mr. Styles.” 

“After you, Mrs. Styles.” 

Mr. and Mrs. Styles, it was music to his ears. 

After getting married with Sarah as their officiant, and Lila as their flower girl, they had a beautiful reception. There were speeches from Jeff quoting that Harry knew he would marry Y/N from the minute he set eyes on her to Y/N’s mum, Roslyn entrusting Harry to make her little girl happy for the rest of their life. Even Lila got up to the microphone making Harry promise to share Y/N with her still because she was her’s first. Harry assured the young girl he'd do anything Lila asked of him if it made Y/N happy. It was the most beautiful day, one he would never forget. 

They went on a month-long honeymoon and returned blissfully happy, ready to perform to thousands of people each night. 

The tour began in Glasgow. A sold-out stadium all for him. Harry was ready to share the stage with his wife and best friends. He was prepared to go out and have the time of his life with his fans, but he could not stop crying. Y/N tried her best to comfort him and was doing well, but she was buzzing, wanting to take it all in. He had done this many years ago with four other boys, his brothers. Harry was okay never doing anything at that level again, but here he was about to play his first stadium of many in Europe. 

“Y/N does not want to leave the stage,” Luis rushes in, exhausted, knowing it’s a bit of a walk from the dressing room to the stage. 

Harry laughs, shaking his head. She told him she loved the stage and didn’t want to be elsewhere. He didn’t really believe her, but Y/N kept true to her words. 

“Let’s go get her.” 

It turns out Harry had to carry her out. He threw her over his shoulder as she screamed to let her stay. They knew it wasn’t possible with fans about to be let in and the opener set to perform in a few hours. Harry was happy to share these moments with her. 

They were preparing for their third sold-out night in Wembley, and Harry was happy because he and Y/N had many friends and family coming out to support them. Harry knows that through the years, the audience has come to love his band, also known as the “Love Band,” while Mitch and Sarah were crowd favorites, and Pauli’s dance move always had the fans screaming it was Y/N who managed to steal everyone’s hearts. She didn’t have to try hard. Y/N had that charm about her, from smiling at fans who locked eyes with her to signs made for her to pose for a fan's camera and especially when she handed out guitar picks at the end of the night. Y/N loved walking down the side to reach the middle, and Harry got to see how each interaction she had with a fan only made her shine brighter. 

Today was different; Y/N and Harry sang together during soundcheck. Lila was there and begged for Y/N to sing, then two sisters with similar pouts stared at him, begging him to say yes. There was no telling them no, and Harry sang Sweet Creature with his wife to a young girl who could not stop smiling. Harry was thankful to have Anthony here capturing everything because he knew he wanted to remember this for years to come. 

“I’m pretty sure fans heard us,” Y/N tells him as she plays with her ears.

Harry shrugs, “they’ve never heard you sing before.” 

“Heyy,” she frowns. “Be nice to your wife.” 

He smirks. He will never get tired of hearing that. “My dear wife, I apologize for hurting your feelings. Will you forgive me?”

She taps her lips twice, “kiss?” 

He leans in, happy to comply with her wishes. She hums against his lips. Harry is tempted to take it farther but knows there is no time for that now.

“Love you, Y/N. Thank you for sharing the stage with me,” he whispers, feeling overwhelmed. 

Y/N grins, “thanks for paying me the big bucks to be here,” she teases. 

Harry groans, giving her a loving tap on her butt. “You’re a menace.” 

“Yeah, but you love me,” she sing-songs.

“I do. I always will.” 

He doesn’t know where life will take him and Y/N, but he knows it will all be alright as long as they are together. 

+

A year ago, he played at Wembley stadium and was freshly married. Now he has celebrated his first anniversary and was back to play four sold-out nights. Harry’s House is out to the world and has received so much love from fans to the Grammys. He remembers winning album of the year, the most prestigious award of the night, and how tempted, he was to kiss Y/N there because this album is a love letter to each other. The new album gifted him so much, but there will be nothing better to Harry than sharing the stage with Y/N as he sings songs they wrote together. 

“Wembley, the last time I was here wasn’t long ago, but things have changed in my life.” A dramatic pause. “For the better,” he assures the audience. “Thank you for having me back. Now let’s dance.” 

The night moves on with Harry coming to bother Y/N more than ever, but she doesn’t mind. She gives it right back before sending him off to bother Mitch, who stays stoic, not letting Harry’s antics bother him. “Now, Wembley, you have been the most amazing crowd tonight.” The screams get louder as they listen to him talk. “But I couldn’t have done this alone.”

Harry introduces the band, going through everyone, purposely skipping Y/N. The band looked around, confused, but Y/N did not take her eyes off Harry, who was stepping closer to her. “Now you all know and love her, give it up for Y/N Styles!” Harry kneels down on a knee gesturing to Y/N. 

Y/N smirks as the crowd falls silent, taking in the confession Harry dropped on them. The cameras pan over to her, and she gives a wave with her right hand, her left stays resting on her guitar where she’s sure the fans can see the engagement ring and wedding ring resting on her fourth finger, no longer on a chain around her neck but on display for everyone to see. Harry talked to her about the plan earlier in the day and decided to wear it to show it off.

After a moment, the fans seemed to have processed his words and began to scream and cheer. It’s louder and overwhelming, but Y/N takes it in stride as Harry laughs, looking out at the crowd. Harry brings his microphone up to speak, but the screams get even louder. Y/N shakes her head in disbelief, unable to understand if it’s excitement or shock.

“Sorry,” Harry giggles into the microphone. “I know her as Y/N Styles. Give it up for Y/N Y/LN. But please address her as Y/N Styles. The paperwork was endless,” he jokes to the audience of 90,000. 

Sarah gives Y/N a crazed look, but Y/N shrugs. It was bound to come out, but she was glad they had the power to choose how and when. No better place than on stage doing what they both love. 

“Alright, alright,” Harry begins trying to settle the cheers, but they are not stopping. It’s been going on for minutes, and Y/N’s just taking it all in, loving the support they are receiving. “Thought you came here for me,” he tries. 

Y/N laughs into her microphone, making Harry look at her with a fake pout. “Oh, enjoy this, Y/N. You’re fired.” 

She rolls her eyes, knowing he’s joking. The entire band knows he wouldn’t dream of doing this every night without her.

“Do you want a song?” Harry asks his crazed fans. 

“Together?” Y/N asks into the microphone. The fans have no idea how to react anymore. This show will be going down in history; that’s all Y/N knows.

She steps close to Harry, who welcomes her in a hug, careful with her guitar.

“Which one, love?” Harry inquires, even though he already knows the song she will pick.

Y/N flashes him a pearled smile, “love of my life.” 

Harry looks out at the audience and then turns back to Y/N. He takes her ring hand and kisses her wedding band. “Seems only fitting.” 

+

liked by mitchrowland, harrystyles, and 233,804 others

pillowpersonpp she’s a rockstar and a wife 

view all 641 comments

yourinstagram I LOVE YOU! Thank you for marrying us 

pillowpersonpp its the least i could do since you're the reason i met my husband 

harryfan1 pause…i did not know this

harryfan2 i would marry her too 

mitchrowland the best guitarist!

harryfan3 I love her friendship with y/n

liked by yelyahwilliams, harrystyles and 4,534,266 others

yourinstagram officially the better styles 

view all 34,554 comments

annetwist a wonderful addition to the family

gemmastyles you know what…you’re absolutely right. 

_basselin oh my friend! Lovely photos 💗

fan1 wedding photos dropping! pray for me

fan2 the most beautiful couple congrats 

fan3 rockstar marries rockstar

harryfan I really thought he was never going to marry 😭

liked by anthonypham, harrystyles, and 322,456 others

lloyddddddddddddddddd the (not so) newley weds 🤍

view all 344 comments 

annetwist I have these framed at home 

anthonypham had the absolute joy of capturing our friends wedding with you

yourinstagram forever grateful! h and i love you boys

yourinstagram 🫶

harrystyles thank you for capturing our special day 

jefezoff they really spent the entire day in their own bubble 

fan1 STOPPPPPP he shot the wedding! Oh i'm so jealous

liked by niallhoran, shaniatwain, and 9,672,655 others

harrystyles every moment on stage is special when i get to share it with you, my heart

view all 43,667 comments

glenne_azoff the prettiest girl!

yourinstgram i love you! thanks for falling in love with me back in 2015, baby

harrystyles thank you for joining my band in 2015

paulithepsm y/n the heart of the band 

jefezoff I'll take credit for introducing you to y/n by you naming your first born after me

harrystyles fuck off

liked by fan1, fan2, and 42,333 others

lovebandupdates HARRY AND Y/N SINGING LOML AT WEMBLEY AFTER ANNOUNCING THEIR MARRIAGE

view all 6532 comments

fan1 all i can do is cry 

fan2 it really is the love band *cries*

fan3 how long do we think he’s been married 

fan4 I was there tonight 😭😭😭 harry is so in love

fan1 spill babes spill

fan4 okay so they sing right and it's the most perfect duet. y/n has a perfect voice that fits harry's perfectly. the song finishes and harry holds her in an embrace for a long time. they come back out and harry has a new ring on his left hand but he basically spends the last of the show kissing her cheek and dancing with her. harry is so in and y/n looks at him with so much love in her eyes. a perfect match

fan3 why you got to say all that. 🥺😭 I am never recovering from this

[alottiegoingon]

flannels

summary: where shauna catches you wearing her flannel

shauna shipman x fem!reader (all characters are aged up + in college)

warnings: established relationship, pre-crash, minimal usage of bad words, yellowjackets but in college, NSFW content!!! (MDNI), fingering, dom!shauna, sub!reader, probably a bunch of english mistakes and bad writing, not proofread

Shauna’s birthday was coming up and for the past three months you have been struggling. You and Shauna were officially dating for almost six months now and you wanted to give her something special to let her know how much you loved her. That’s why you decided to skip practice today and go straight to her house after class by making up some silly excuse. You knew that she was smart and wouldn't believe you at all but you were willing to take the risk. As time was running low, you decided on the one thing that you knew that Shauna would love.

Flannels. She would wear them everywhere and at any occasion. You could track her from miles away just by looking for a girl wearing oversized flannel shirts and, honestly, it was one of your favorite things about her. You could worry about other small gifts later, but now you were determined to find the exact size of her clothes and that’s why you were standing in front of her house, waiting for her mom to open the door for you.

You didn’t want Shauna to find out, you wanted to be a surprise. That’s what you told her mother when you called her the other day, explaining the situation and practically begging her to let you sneak into her room while her daughter was out. Gladly, you were a sweetheart. At least this is what her parents called you. Always a sweet angel, a good influence for their daughter.

Now, you were stepping into your girlfriend’s room. The light from the string lights in the wall by her bed was on, giving the bedroom a dark pinkish tone along with the small lampshade. Taking a quick glance, you could see thousands of pictures of Shauna with her friends, especially her best friend Jackie, and of you two hanging on her wall and in portraits by her desk. In a blink of an eye, you remind yourself of the reason why you were skipping practice and would probably get your ass beaten by Jackie tomorrow, you had no time to lose. Rushing into Shauna’s closet, you get in, not taking longer than a second to find what you were looking for.

The amount of variety of colors in the shirts made you giggle as you were reaching out for one of the many to check the size on the small tag. It wasn’t a surprise that it was only one size apart from yours and to be fair, you always wondered about how comfortable it would be to wear them. Shauna would probably take hours to come home since Jackie was not much of a compassionate soul when it came to soccer and would always make the girls almost faint of exhaustion by the time practice was over. You had nothing to worry about.

You smell Shauna’s perfume lingering in the air as you put on one of her flannels and button it up. It only made you miss her more now, distracting your brain from the actual reason you were in her room. You look in the mirror close to the bed and you finally understand why she loves this so much. It’s cute, comfortable and it surprisingly matches with the pants and shirt that you were wearing with no effort.

“Are you in the closet?” Your heart almost stopped beating and you feel your blood turning to ice in your veins as a very familiar voice reverberate through the room. You turn around with the speed of light to find Shauna standing, leaning against the doorframe and staring at you, narrowing her eyes in suspicion. The seriousness in her posture and even the slight fear that would leak through her intense stare was being betrayed by a goofy smirk on the corner of her lips.

“Sorry, I couldn’t find a better way to tell you.” You make use of the most soothing tone you can achieve, exaggerating a pout as you approach your girlfriend. “Shauna, I’m gay.” Your pout fades away as quickly as it started, being replaced by a cheeky smirk on your lips, and your girlfriend lets out a soft chuckle. You feel Shauna’s arms gently embracing you, sliding through your sides and getting tighter around your waist. Like an automatic response, you wrap your arms around her neck, both of you failing to hold silly smiles.

“I thought you were sick but… Apparently you were just in the mood for stealing your girlfriend’s clothes?” She teases and you can even notice a bit of a flirting in her voice. She looks away from your eyes, dragging her attention to your body and how her flannel looked slightly bigger on you, gracefully falling from your shoulders to the middle of your thighs. You, however, do not look away from her and you see her big dilating pupils glistening differently. She loses her arms around your body to unbutton the first ones, catching your attention. “What are you doing here?” She insists as you remain quiet.

“Waiting for you…” You shrug. As usual, you couldn’t hold the eye contact when you lied poorly and Shauna noticed it at the exact same second. “Waiting for me in my bedroom instead of going to practice and leave together?” She lifted one eyebrow, trying her best to not smile. It was kind of amusing to her how you had such a bad time lying and how easy it was for her to figure it out. “You are such a bad liar.”

“I know! It’s so hard!” You exhale in relief. It’s not like you were a good liar and would be able to keep the lie for much longer. It wasn’t on your plans to reveal your idea but Shauna was smart. Probably way smarter than you, and would have figured out if you were lying again. “I was trying to find your size to buy you another flannel. I know you love them and I just…” You stop.

You feel the warmth of Shauna’s hands going down from your shoulders to your biceps and giving it a gentle squeeze in a reassuringly way, subtly asking you to continue.

“I don’t know what I should do for your birthday, alright? I can’t find anything good enough, it has to be perfect! I’m a terrible girlfriend.” You grumble and the next thing you hear is Shauna’s surprise scoff.

“What?!” She doesn’t even let you consider saying something else. She had to intervene and stop this nonsense. “Listen. I don’t need a perfect gift.” She innocently mocks you while mimicking your desperate need to give her something flawless. Her hands reach up, her palms resting on your cheeks, cupping your face and forcing you to look into her eyes. You almost get lost in them, like always.

“I literally managed to date the prettiest girl in Wiskayok High, this is the best gift that I could ever receive. The only thing I want is to spend the day with you, you idiot.” She murmurs and you see her cheeks getting a new color, a light shade of pink. No matter how hard it was for her to show her feelings, she would always push her limits and face her fear, eager to let you know how important and loved you were and you appreciated her effort a lot.

For a moment you find yourself wanting to look away, too flustered to not break the eye contact, but you can’t miss your girlfriend’s reddish face. “Fine. I just wanted to give you something special.” You whine and see Shauna’s expression change ever so slight as she suddenly breaks the eye contact and shifts her attention to your body. “Maybe I have something in mind.”

In less than five minutes you were lying in Shauna’s bed with her on top of you as her lips were busy marking the skin of your neck. “You know that your mom is home, right?” You ask, running out of breath already, just to hear a muffled attempt of your girlfriend to pronounce slurred words. “I locked the door, it’s fine.”

You figured what Shauna’s idea of a perfect gift was when you were about to take off her flannel and she immediately stopped you. She was begging you to let her fuck you while you wear it and you could swear that her pupils got bigger than usual.

You made a pitiful sound as her teeth dig into your neck, claiming you and brushing her warm tongue right on top of the recent wound. Your hands were on her head, fingers getting lost between her dark hair, as you were nearly melting under her. Shauna, on the other hand, was fierce and while doing a very good job on your neck, her right hand was exploring your upper body. The coldness of her fingertips made you squeak when she got under your shirt and slowly scratched your stomach. Soon she was already playing with your nipples, pinching and squeezing as much as she wanted to and it was driving you crazy already. “Shauna-“ You tried to catch her attention and beg her to just fuck you but she interrupts you.

“Patience.” Her tone is firm as she mutters her words, this time leaving your neck alone to give your lips lots of quick pecks as a way to shut you up. It worked every time. On her knees between your legs, she takes her time at finishing unbuttoning her flannel that you were wearing, staring at you intensely. She lifts the cute white shirt that you were wearing underneath up to your chest and gets down on you. Her face is inches away from your skin and you feel your clit throbbing as you anticipate everything in your head.

You were forced to cover your own mouth to avoid any loud moans when Shauna’s tongue met your stomach. Her hands were moving through your sides and no matter how awkward you could possibly find; she was always looking at you feeling completely mesmerized even by your tiniest reaction to her touch and while wearing her clothes. It takes her seconds to unzip and undo your jeans and you help her to toss it on the floor. Unlike your jeans, your damp panties didn’t get the same faith. Instead, Shauna just pulled them down to your ankles and you accidentally whine, excited to feel her or anything coming from her. It didn’t take longer before Shauna was kissing your inner thighs purposefully close to your core. Her grip was tight on your legs, forcing you to spread them as far as you could.

“Stop teasing.” You cooed. Better, you begged. Giving up on quieten your moans, your hands went straight to the bed and firmly grabbed the sheets. Shauna didn’t seem as desperate as you, of course, and she was enjoying making you squirm under her. It was her favorite view. “Just be quiet.” Impatiently, she slaps your thigh and the sharp sound fills the room along with an unexpected moan of yours. She kisses your thighs for a few more seconds, holding them in place and exposing your wet pussy completely, and after what it felt like hours, she goes back to meet you.

You groan in annoyance, completely shocked by how she just left you hanging. Your lips parted, ready to complain or say anything to make Shauna get back there but she was faster and your attempt to mutter a few words changed to a gasp as you feel her fingers barely rubbing up and down on your soaked pussy, feeling all of you. “How are you so wet already?” She chuckles and you roll your eyes. “Shut up. Can you just-“

Your words were cut by a breathy whimper as you feel two of your girlfriend’s fingers entering your pussy. You were so soaked that it was almost embarrassing how easily it went all in. Then, you understood why Shauna left your legs, she wanted to look at you. Her eyes were so intense on you that it could dig holes onto your skin if she wanted to. Instead, she was just enjoying you feeling her touches and wanted to memorize every second of it. As you squirmed under her, Shauna’s fingers began to slowly pump into you, in and out in a tortuous pace just to see you beg.

“Please…” You panted looking into her eyes. She smirks but the rhythm doesn’t change. She has to hear it. “Please what?” Just like expected, she insists on forcing you to say exactly what you want. On forcing you to submit completely and just enjoy her touch. And as usual, you obey it.

“Faster.” Your words are like an inaudible hiss or hush but urgent like oxygen. She nods subtly with a proud look in her face and gives in to your wish. A squelch sound began to echo around the room thanks to how fast Shauna was shoving her fingers inside of you and curling up at the right spot, making you squirm violently and scream almost immediately. You didn’t even care about being loud anymore. Not when Shauna Shipman was fucking you like that.

Your hips started to slowly move, grinding and following Shauna’s fingers pace inside of you. Your moans were getting louder as her movements were getting sloppier. You were both panting and sweating together and the look in your girlfriend’s eyes was almost hypnotic. “You like this?” She murmured and you nodded frantically, whimpering and gasping for air softly, rocking your hips and feeling your legs getting shaky and tense as Shauna was feeling your spongy walls squeezing her fingers tighter. Your breath was getting heavier as you were pathetically trying to ride her fingers, lifting your weight from the mattress to feel her going deeper even if just a little more. Shauna noticed your despair and gave you what you wanted by pumping firmly and fast but making sure to fill all of you. With her thumb, she started to rub your swollen clit in messy circles and you gripped her shoulders as you felt your orgasm building up quickly.

Your grip was so strong that Shauna felt your nails digging into her skin even though her shoulders were covered by one of her famous flannels and she lets out a painful groan but smiled as soon as she realized what was about to happen. “Are you going to cum for me, sweet girl?” She whispers and you can’t manage to answer. It was too intense, too overwhelming.

It took a few more thrusts before your back automatically arched and your fingers squeezed the fabric of your girlfriend’s clothes as you orgasm. You moan her name like a chant over and over again, rolling your eyes back and feeling your inner walls compressing against her fingers, pushing them away. Following your body’s orders, Shauna slowed the pace before she could gently pull her soaked fingers out of you and the act made you groan as you adjusted yourself to the empty feeling.

When you take a look back at your girlfriend, she has an alluring expression in her face. Dreamy eyes and halfway open lips just enough to help her breath. You smile tenderly as she kisses your forehead, trying to recover from the intense climax.

“I changed my mind. Maybe you should buy some new flannels for me. We need to try all of them.”

[piracytheorist]

I'm the type of Spy x Family fan that sees so much angst potential in Identity RevealsTM, so I'm thinking about the heartbreak Yor will feel after it, when she'll realize that Loid is not as kind as she thought he was.

When she meets him, from her point of view, he's just a widowed father who wants the best education of his daughter, at the same time honouring his late wife's dying wish. Investing in a child's good education is something Yor greatly relates to, seeing how hard she worked to provide one for Yuri. Point one.

She asks him to play the part of her boyfriend, and he immediately accepts; he asks for a favour back, but he's satisfied with only Yor's promise to keep her end of the deal. He's showing trust in her and kindness by being willing to fulfill his end of the deal first, thus risking Yor walking out on her promise. Point two.

Despite being injured - something that Yor fully trusts is an occupational hazard for him (I mean, it is, but not because of the occupation she really thinks of) - he still fulfills his end of the deal, albeit messing up and saying he's her husband (though this doesn't count as much, because it came to Yor's advantage in the end). Point three.

(Remember, at this point Yor doesn't know of Loid's plan to convince her to marry him officially, and that this was why he mixed up his introduction. She just thought he made an unrelated mistake out of rush and being wounded)

Taking the opportunity from Loid's mistake of calling himself her husband, Yor asks him to marry her (again, she has no idea of his actual plans; she only knows he wanted her to pretend to be his wife for the interview and only, and that then they'd part ways). He immediately accepts and actually vows to be there for her in difficult times. Point four.

He welcomes her into his family and home, even giving her her own bedroom and her privacy. He has no demands of her regarding to household chores, praises how clean she keeps the apartment - even in front of a misogynistic guy who has power over them in the interview (and we as the audience know that was not For the Mission, as Twilight immediately goes like "Wait why am I getting worked up over this") - he trusts her input when it comes to raising Anya, shows genuine happiness and praise when she makes a tasty meal for them, all of that culminating in the bench scene where he openly and emotionally praises what she fears is a deal-breaker flaw of hers, her physical strength. Point five.

He accepts her eccentric brother that she adores, and after the messy meeting they had with him where said brother left cursing at Loid left and right, Loid is not only understanding, he also opens up about how he envies her relationship with Yuri (and again, we the audience know it's an honestly vulnerable moment for him; not a For The Mission thing). Point six.

So overall, she gets the image of a kind, trusting fellow who is willing to help her despite there not being any (obvious) gains for him outside having a wife stand-in for the interview. To her, Loid had no reasons to keep up their agreement after the interview, especially after Anya got in the school. But he still gladly keeps it on while doing his best to be a good and supportive roommate... and friend.

Like, we joke how gullible Yor is, and not only when it comes to him. But from her point of view, what with especially hiding from him that she's an assassin of all things, he's just as much if not more gullible.

Through all that, Yor genuinely builds feelings for the Forger family - and unlike Twilight, she's much faster in accepting and embracing them. She has no reason to act motherly towards Anya; heck, she has no reason to even spend time with them when they're indoors. She could just stay in her room all the time and never take part in dining together, helping Anya with her homework and activities (like how she helped Anya train for the dodgeball game) and being by their side in general. In only a few months' time, she's already invested in them emotionally so much that the thought of leaving them terrifies her. She's been truly kind and open with them, and now wishes she can keep her place in the family, and not for her job - but because she truly cherishes that place.

So... yeah. Think how all that will come breaking down when she finds out what Loid's original plan was :)

He wasn't trying to get Anya into Eden to provide for her future, nor honouring his "late wife's" dying wish; it was for the mission, after the end of which he fully intended on abandoning Anya.

He didn't agree to play her boyfriend out of kindness; it was to have a leverage over her so that she'd keep her end of the deal - and god I just thought how she might think that him introducing himself as her husband was intentional so that he'd back her up into a corner later to actually marry him (something we know isn't true, but maybe in a very emotional aftermath of identity reveals Yor could very well consider a possibility).

He didn't accept to marry her because he was being helpful towards her - he was simply advancing his own mission.

Now, we know that a lot of the things Loid praises her for come from the truest depths of himself, but Yor does not have the audience's point of view to see that - when she learns that he's a spy and that he's told her so many lies, she'll have no reason to believe anything of what he's told her is true.

His interest in Anya's future, the trust and acceptance he showed her, his supporting words, his efforts to be a good roommate, the vulnerability he showed her... those are all things that Yor would've admired him for, and from a romance perspective, fell in love with him for. Those will all be doubted by her when she finds out what he really is and it will be devastating.

As many other people do, I doubt Yor will be upset by him having lied to her about his job, because she did the same. The heartbreak will come from her knowing she showed her true self as the wife and mother of the Forgers, while when the truth comes out she'll have no idea who the real man behind Loid Forger is. She trusted him, supported him, protected him, opened up to him, fell in love with him... and then that "him" will be pulled from under her feet to reveal a guy who has been using her from the moment he first laid eyes on her.

Of course, like the next twiyor shipper, I want that to resolve into Twilight proving to her that the feelings he grew for her and Anya, the trust he showed her and the connection he built with them were genuine, and the family staying together by the end. I JUST WANT THAT ANGST FIRST.

(No manga spoilers please 😁)

[frostironfudge]

You Said I Was Your Favourite - Ari Levinson

Summary: You're taken from Ari. He's promised you many things but when his eyes don't meet yours and his present words begin to make you doubt his past promises. Will you go back to him?

Paring: Mafia!Ari Levinson x Female!Reader

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, angst, mentions of past self harm, scars of self harm mentioned, reader is clean since 3 months, canon level violence, reader kidnapped, swearing, guns, blood, injury, protective ari, smut, p in v, dirty talk, fluff, past is in italics, hurt/comfort, fluff/smut, nicknames: metuka (meaning sweetheart).

A.N.: honestly the lyric 'you drew stars around my scars, but now i'm bleeding' cardigan by taylor swift, was circling around my head for the most part writing this fic. this is sort of a self indulgent fic, plus Mr. Levinson just reminds me of this comforting bear, i adore him. wrote this amidst a writing block so it may not be top notch but i adore it.

Dividers: @firefly-graphics || Word Count: 4.1k

Main Masterlist || AO3

Burning gunmetal and rust, a leaking pipe of water. Rough, uneven ground digs into your skin. Your gaze searches the dark room, vision field limited at the angle your head is twisted upon. 

The overhead light flickers with an inconsistent buzz. You groan when you feel yourself being propped up to your knees. 

“Stupid bitch.” The man sneers, grip tightening on your hair, twisting harshly. Your clothes stick to you, uncomfortably so. Sweat and you fear some amount of blood might be the reason. 

The door is kicked open, heavy footsteps each around the room. You can’t look up fully due to the grip on your head. 

However recognising that cologne is easy, and the way your heart soars even in this most horrible situation. You know it’s him—Ari. 

Another whimper is coaxed out of you, your head tilted further the warm barrel of the gun touches your jaw. 

Ari’s gaze is cold, not the warm blue waters that you love to sink into, none of the fiery blaze present with which he would trace your form. 

“I see you made it.” The man chuckles, tapping your jaw with the gun, “Here I thought apart from your long gone wife no one held your affections.” He laments. 

Ari’s jaw tightens, lips pressed into a thin line. It is then you realise he isn’t sparing you a glance. His gaze is on the man only. 

“What no words? I have your girl.” The man scoffs, Ari just shrugs. 

“You should really fact check, Parson.” Ari tuts, retrieving the pack of cigarettes he carries and lights one. 

One puff, then a second one. 

He scratches the side of his mouth with his thumb. Eyes everywhere else but on your form. 

You swallow, your heart trying to convince your mind this is a dream. You were sleeping. 

You had gone out, the mall? Yes. 

Picking up a dress for dinner with Ari. 

You must have gotten tired and fallen asleep. 

This is just a dream. 

Ari would never let his gaze stray from you. He would never ignore you. 

“So if I shoot her, you won’t be sad or mad?” Parson’s voice sounds full of doubt. 

“Oh I would be, but it is because you killed an innocent person, not because she means anything to me. You have the wrong woman.” Ari takes another drag of the cigarette. It burns bright then turns to ash. 

You feel tears brim your eyes, a wicked smirk on Ari’s face. 

“Oh, did you think more?” He speaks in a mocking tone. You feel your heart crack. 

Please be a dream. Your heart screams, wails in your chest. Your gaze shifts down, lips pressed together tightly not to let the sob break free. 

“But, but I saw the two of you, your hand on her face. She’s in l-love with y-you.” Parson stammers, his clear upperhand being undermined. 

“Half of the female population pines for a minute of my affection.” Ari drops the cigarette, stepping upon it with the heel of his boot.

“You should have had more women in here.” He gives a dry chuckle. 

“There isn’t anyone apart from you, Metuka.” Ari whispers against your forehead, “After a long time my heart has thawed, waiting to place itself onto your palms.”

You stay silent, your heart hammering in your chest. 

“Bear.” Your throat tightens, “I, I have feelings for you too.” You admit, “I thought, I thought you wouldn’t—,” 

“Oh but I do, Metuka.” He smiles, the kind that melts your heart. He pulls you into his arms, engulfing you in his bear hug. You nuzzle closer into the crook of his neck. 

You blink tears at the memory. 

“I’ve seen you kiss her.” Parson still argues. 

Ari clicks his tongue, clearly irritated. 

Ari’s lips find yours, he walks in after his work day. You gave him your apartment key. A squeal leaves you when he lifts you up, arms wrapping around your waist pulling you flush against his broad chest. 

Deep rumbling laughter fills the small kitchen. You tilt your head back looking up at him. He then brushes his lips against yours, your hand moves to tangle with his soft hair. A few of the strands tickling your cheek.  

The kiss turns bruising, you tug on his hair, he groans into your mouth, hands tightening around you. Keeping you to him. 

“You’re mine, Metuka, as I am yours.” He promises. 

“Parson, you’re wasting my fucking time.” Ari roars, anger coursing through his voice. You close your eyes. 

“So you won’t care if I hurt her?” Parson smirks, watching the man in front of him closely. He taps the gun to your forehead. 

“No one will lay a finger upon you, Metuka.” Ari promises as you’re laying with your head in his lap. 

“Ari, nothing will happen to me.” You look up at him, his palm brushing over your head pauses, eyes harbour a moment of worry. 

You grasp the hand that is on your abdomen, bringing it to your lips you kiss his palm. The callouses memorised by you. Your thumb traces over them. 

“You will always protect me, I know.” You assure him. 

“I don’t want you to get hurt because of what I do. Ever.” There is a furrow between his brows. 

“Bear.” You try to get him to smile at the nickname, he doesn’t, you frown. 

“Metuka,” Ari struggles with verbalising, you sit up, effortlessly he makes you sit facing him, “I will protect you till my last breath.” 

“Bear, don’t, say that.” Your hands cup his face, stroking over his beard. 

“There is only you, I only harbour you in my heart.” Blue eyes study you as you take in his words, your skin heats. 

“I love you, Ari.” Your words light him up, he rewards you with the prized grin that belongs only to you. 

“Parson, I was told you have a negotiation for business.” Ari taps his foot, your eyes drop from his face, “I didn’t realise you’d rather discuss the women I fuck.” 

The words are cruel, they make you question everything over the past six months. 

Your brain mocks your heart, you almost don’t feel the blade sinking into your forearm. When you refocus, you see the torn sleeve, Parson’s smile drops when Ari doesn’t show a shred of care. 

“Let's try the other hand.” Parson moves, gripping your left hand. You panic. 

“No.” You whisper, you hadn’t let Ari see your arms, favouring full sleeves. Not letting him take off your shirt when things got intimate during heavy make outs. 

You were waiting for the damn scars to fade. You try to pry your hand away. 

Ari’s hands freeze under your shirt. The way you tensed had him pause. He retracts his hands and pulls his mouth away from your neck. 

“I’m sorry.” He whispers, attempting to shift away. Your hands grasp his shoulders urging him to stay. 

“Ari, Ari let me explain—,”

“You just have to say no, Metuka. It all stops. I don’t want an explanation.” He shakes his head. 

“I’m, no I want to do this, kissing you making out, I just, I’m not comfortable taking my top off yet.” Your skin heats, you gaze down at his half exposed chest. The hypocrisy makes you wince. 

“Do you want my hands to explore beneath?” He questions, you nod. 

“So the shirt is not off but I can try to touch your very pretty boobs.” He just laughs when you lightly smack his chest. Grasping your palm he brings your fingers to his lips. Placing soft kisses upon them as his beard tickles. 

You giggle, Ari adores you. 

His palms then cup your cheeks, “Whenever you’re ready, we’ll take it further okay? I’m very happy making out as though we’re horny teenagers.” 

That earns him another smack. 

His deep laugh rumbles through your chest. 

You try to shift away, Parson points his gun at Ari. 

“He may feel nothing but I know you do, even if you’re nothing to him. Do you want him dead?” He chuckles darkly when your eyes shift from the gun to the towering man. 

Ari still doesn’t meet your gaze, you don’t understand. Till this morning it was as if you were his world. Now he looks at you as if you’re nothing to him.  

“Please don’t hurt him.” You look up at Parson. He only smiles, lowering the gun. Harshly grabbing your forearm you cry out, then bite down on your tongue to stop the whimpers. 

Parson pushes the sleeve back harshly, the knife ready but then he pauses, seeing the lines strewn across your skin. 

“Of course, big bad mafia man, Ari Levinson would never want someone broken.” Parson shakes his head with laughter bubbling past his tongue. 

Ari finally moves his gaze on you, you’re looking down, biting back sniffles. The sight of your forearm though, sends his heart plummeting. 

How had he not figured it out? 

Why hadn’t you told him? 

Is this why you didn’t want to show him all of you? 

Why had he not asked you more often if you were doing alright?

How selfish and blind had he been towards you?

How long has this been going on?

Guilt fills him. 

“No one would want someone this broken.” The disgust in Parson’s voice wraps around your mind, the scars ache beckoning you towards them yet again. 

“I know.” Your voice is so small, you don’t look up. You don’t want Ari to see you this way. He wouldn’t care either way. You blink away the tears, it only makes them brim over. 

“Parson, you have ten seconds to step away from her.” Ari warns through gritted teeth. 

The man scoffs, “You’re without a weapon. You’re in no position to—,” 

The mobster reaches into his jacket, retrieving a gun. 

“H-how did you get that past my guards?” Parson sutters at the ammunition reveal. 

“Oh, your guards? Did I say I came in here unprepared?” Ari chuckles darkly. 

Parson presses the gun to your forehead, again. 

“I won’t hesitate.” He warns. 

“Nor will I.” Ari declares, “Close your eyes for me, Metuka.”

You look up at him, he finally meets your gaze. You close your eyes. 

You hear the click, there is the echo of a shot fired followed by a clattering. You cover your ears. The gun no longer pressed to your forehead. 

“Metuka.” 

Warmth wraps around you, the scent of musk and jasmine surrounds you. Ari. You’re pressed to his chest. You want to cry, bury yourself in him. 

You’re about to give in, take the comfort that belongs to you. Then you pause, you tense up. 

Pushing at him, no, no, he wasn’t yours, he promised and everything Ari just admitted to, he doesn’t, he never said it and you know why, now. 

“I’m sorry, I had to lie. Metuka, I’m so sorry, I should have been there with you. I sent you off alone like a fool.” He stumbles over his words, 

“I promised you and I broke it, I couldn’t protect you, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry about whatever I said, I had to make him question his plan. I’m so sorry. Please talk to me, Matuka.” He pleads, large hands running up and down your shaking form. 

You stay quiet, cheek pressed to the exposed flesh of his chest. His habit of having the top two buttons of his shirts unbuttoned was something you always found yourself drawn towards. Findinding your cheek pressed against it, hearing his breath and heart beating. 

“You said it all so easily.” You whisper. 

“I had to lie.” Ari explains, his hand cupping your face, trying to get you to look at him. 

The wet tears gracing his skin breaking everything within him. 

“Bear?” Your voice is low, sleep ridden. 

He looks up from his files to you. You’re standing in the doorway of his office. 

“Metuka? Why are you awake, is everything alright?” Pushing the chair back he stands, motioning for you to come closer. 

“Bad dream…” you say, making your way to his open arms. 

“Wanna talk about it?” Ari wraps his arms around you, placing a kiss to the top of your head. 

You shake your head, wanting to dismiss the dream. It still gnaws at you. 

“You won’t, you won’t lie to me right?” You whisper the question. 

Ari’s brows furrow, “I’d never—,”

“About the way you feel, you won’t lie right? Saying that you have feelings for me when you actually don’t? If, if you just want sex then we can, you don’t have to lie to wait—,” 

“Metuka.” The pain in that one word makes you pause. 

Ari steps back, hands not leaving your face. 

“I want everything with you okay? I don’t care how long I need to wait. I want you to be comfortable. I know I don’t express myself enough but please know I will never lie to coerce you into bed.” His blue eyes gaze into your own. Slowly you move closer to him again. 

Closing the distance between the two of you. Ari’s hands move to your hips, aiding you in reaching up to him. He bends down, meeting your lips in a soft kiss. A promise. 

When your lips part, as you breathe in you contemplate telling him. 

“You can tell me what is on your mind.” His thumb strokes your cheek. 

“Previous, previous partners have said sweet words and declarations of emotions… just to get into bed and then they leave.” You tell him. 

“Give me the names.” He says so casually. 

“Ari you aren’t going all Mafia Boss on them.” You warn him. 

“They disrespected you, Metuka, they hurt you. Those who hurt you should not get a second chance at life.” He declares. 

There is a pause, “Was your dream about me hurting you?” He hesitates in wanting to know, a fear so deeply ingrained. 

You nod. 

“I wouldn’t ever intentionally hurt you, please know that. I may have to lie or keep some truths half hidden, to protect you from the world I am a part of, I don’t want that tainting you.” Ari admits his worries, your arms wrap around him. 

He seeks refuge in your warmth. 

“I cannot have people use you or hurt you just to get back at me, for things I’ve done.” He continues, “I don’t want you to be caught in the crossfire and I will make sure of it that you don’t ever get hurt.” 

“I’m so sorry.” He says again, you grab at his coat lapels, “I’m going to find who leaked our location—,”

“Ari, it hurts.” You finally register the wound on your forearm, looking at it you frown. 

Then you look down at Ari’s sleeve, his jacket half off, the sleeve of his shirt torn to make a makeshift bandage for your wound. You stare up at him. 

“Metuka, we’ll talk about everything at home. Can you stand?” He watches over you, the protectiveness within him brimming over. 

You wince moving your leg forward. 

“Alright, I’m carrying you.” Ari decides, shifting to your side and in a blink you’re in his arms. 

“Boss.” Lloyd interrupts his step towards the door. 

“Close your eyes.” He whispers softly to you, you bury your head against his chest. Closing your eyes. Breathing in his scent. 

You feel Ari turn, “Keep him alive. I want answers, then I’ll take care of it. Metuka isn’t to be messed with, ever.” There is a dark edge to his voice, a judgement veiled between words. 

Lloyd hums, “Alright, can I be creative with the keeping alive process?”

You don’t hear Ari’s reply, just feel him beginning to move again. 

The distant yell has you know what his reply was to Lloyd. 

Ari doesn’t take you to your apartment, you’re driven up to his estate. The first time you had seen his home post the lunch he took you to for your first date you joked if he was a mafia drug lord. 

You giggle remembering his expression. Ari smiles when he hears the melodic sound. Nerves easing. 

“What’s making you laugh?” He smiles as you meet his gaze with a smile. The dim lighting of the car did not dull the soft shine in his loving gaze. 

“Just your face, when I asked if you’re a mafia drug lord when you brought me here for the first time.” You laugh again, he squeezes your side playfully. 

“I was so scared you’d go running to the hills when I told you.” He admits. His free hand softly traces your left hand. Never over the scars just bordering around them. 

“I wouldn’t, I mean, shady things yeah, but you aren’t in the whole drug thing so…” you trail off, the house comes into view. 

“Come, I’ve got a medic on call.” Ari holds you protectively yet again. 

“I think I can walk—,” you keep quiet at the look he gives you. 

The medic is a sweet woman, she tends to your wounds, the cut isn’t deep for stitches, just a dressing. Her eyes linger on your scarred forearm, she doesn’t broach. You’re thankful for that. 

The other scarpes littered over your form are checked and cleaned. 

Ari enters the room, holding your favourite blue shirt of his and a pair of leggings you left here. He places them then moves to stand outside the room, waiting for you to change. 

“I want to tell you about, about the scars.” You tell him, his face ashen as he turns. 

“I, I’m sorry I didn’t pay more attention.” He doesn’t know what he should say, you shake your head. 

“I hid them, I, I’m about three months clean now. I wanted them healed before you saw, didn’t want you to think I’m broken.” You quietly admit the last part. 

“Metuka, I could never.” Ari gently grasps your hands, “You aren’t broken, this, this is hard, I just want to support you. The way you need. I don’t want you doing this to yourself ever again, but I know it’s easier said than done. I’m proud of you for being clean for three months. So immensely proud.” He peppers kisses all over your face, his beard tickling you laugh. 

“You never have to hide any part of you from me.” Ari grasps your chin gently, tilting your head back, “I love you. Every part, even the ones you may keep hidden away from me.” 

You stare up at him, the little flecks in his eyes, the sincerity of his words. Your chest tightens. 

“Ari.” You remember to breathe. 

“I love you.” He affirms again.

“Ari.” His name breaks as your voice does, “Ari, I love you too.” 

“Metuka.” His own voice grows heavy with emotion, “No one is in my heart but you, no one holds my heart but you.” 

Your hands move from his chest, up his neck, one cups his face the other runs through his hair. He sighs, basking in the warmth of your touch. 

You reach up, gently tugging him downward. Ari complies with your wish. 

Your lips meet, his hand moves over your back, towards your neck. His lips slightly chapped, bitten in worry, the lingering hint of smoke and the drink he probably took. His tongue moves over your bottom lip, parting your lips. 

Your groan has him push himself closer to you. Your legs around his waist, Ari nips at your bottom lip coaxing another whimper from you. Your fingers tug upon his hair, a deep growl rumbles within his chest. 

You can feel his hardening length against your core, you gasp when his hips move against you. 

“A-ari,” his lips move along your jaw, nipping and humming at the taste of your skin. 

Your clit pulses as he sucks upon the spot beneath your ear. 

“I feel so content.” He hums, tugging on your earlobe, “Having you back in my arms.” His beard brushes over the spot he just etched his mark onto. 

You keen as his bulge twists the fabric of your panties over your clit. Pleasure sparks across your spine. 

“Mine, just as I am yours.” Ari says, biting down on your collar bone. His large form encases you. His lips on every inch of your exposed skin, the little gown coming off, your nipples harden brushing against the fabric of his shirt. 

“Fuck,” you tug on the shirt, he shifts back letting you undo the buttons, his own large hands moving over your sides, eyes darkening. 

“You sure you want this, Metuka?” Ari hisses when your nails scrape over his chest, your lips tracing over his sternum, making way to his nipple tugging on it, his grip tightens on your thighs. 

“I want you, Ari. How much ever you’re willing to give me.” Your lips trace over his neck, to his jaw, then his lips. Hands moving to his pants, he aids you in undoing them. 

His length twitches in your palm, you moan softly feeling the familiar vein on the underside as you trace his length. Ari groans as your thumb circles over his tip collecting the precum and bringing it to your lips. 

Fingers hooking around the band, you raise your hips, Ari gets rid of your panties, discarding them to the side, you shiver as the cool air greets your wet folds. 

Warm fingers have you arch, grinding against them. 

He brings his soaked fingers toward his mouth. You moan when his eyes close as he hums at your taste appreciatively. 

“Ari, please.” You plead, he chuckles. 

“Impatient little sweet girl.” He teases, parting your thighs further, hooking them around his waist, his tip moves against your folds, you want to sigh at the relief of being so close to feeling him. 

It turns into a moan melding with his own groan as your walls take his girth in, chest rising and falling, Ari sinks into you inch by delicious inch. The burning stretch dulling into pleasure as his thumb draws circles onto your clit. 

“Ari, Ari, Ari—,” you choke on your words, his his flush against yours, your walls pulse around him. His lust blown eyes on your pussy. 

“She takes me so well, fuck baby, look at you.” He gazes into your eyes, slowly pulling out halfway then sinking into you again. And again. 

Your jaw slack, he shifts slightly, tip brushing over the spot that has you shuddering in his hold. Ari pushes you down, the angle making him go deeper, your back arched. The sound of skin slapping as his pace becomes relentless. 

“Squeezing me so good, don’t want to let your cock go do you, Metuka?” His mouth latches to your taut nipple, your hand grabs at his hair tugging harshly lips only know to say his name—oh god, oh god, oh god. 

You feel the pleasure build slowly then all at once he has you dancing along the edge. Your legs wrap around him tighter, not letting him go too far. His large hands squeeze at your hips, mouth latching onto the other nipple. His happy trail, rubs against your clit, sending you over. 

You cum with a cry of his name, the wet sloshing sounds only increase as you gush around him. His pace doesn’t relent, pushing you further down, he hovers above you. Your leg now over his shoulder. 

His hand wrapped around your throat, stroking over the sweat sheened skin.  

“So pretty this way, one more baby, one more before I fill you up. One more,” he coaxes, you feel him move impossibly deeper. Tip hitting your cervix stars cloud your vision. 

Can’t, I can’t, you think, “Ari,”

“You can and you will.” He growls, pinching your clit you shudder yet again, the pleasure begins to climb, taking over you nerve by nerve. 

“Look at you, so pretty, taking all of me so well, I belong to you my sweetness, all of me, yours, yours to love, yours to hold, yours to claim, yours to fuck.” Ari swears as he feels your walls spasm, your nails dig into his forearms you shudder in his grasp as your orgasm triggers his own. 

Ari moans your name, spilling into you, claiming your walls with his seed. He continues to thrust allowing you both to ride out your orgasms, he watches the mix of the two of you coat a ring at the base of his length. 

“I’m not done with you, Metuka.” He says, softly kissing your forehead. 

You look at him through glassy eyes, aftershocks lingering through you. 

He slowly pulls out, you whimper, then moan when his lips move along your inner thighs, blowing softly over your clit. 

“Ari—,” Your whine cut off when his mouth latches to your cunt. The way his eyes glaze and roll back at your taste, the moan that presses against your folds and clit. You cry out for more of him. 

“I told you I’m not done. Have to have a taste of my pretty pussy.” Is all he says, beard gleaming with your arousal, before his lips latch around your clit again. 

-x-

[possamble]

do you have any particular thoughts regarding marcille being a half-elf? its interesting to me considering the fact that she seems self-conscious about being a half-elf, but denies it when its brought up

i remember marcille looking visibly uncomfortable over laios simply asking her how old she is, which i think the only reason she might feel nervous about this is because it might reveal her as a half-elf to him.

she's never corrected anybody whose called her an elf either.

never mind the circumstances of the reveal, in which thistle goes on about how half-elves are inferior and accusing her of wanting to become full blooded elf, she seemed particularly upset like he struck a nerve-

i wish the half-elf thing was built upon more. also, underrated marcille line:

okay so i revisited this sequence just to make sure I could back myself up and it's just... man. there's a lot going on.

the first reaction we get from Marcille is this huge panel that takes up half of the page

she is viscerally affected. flushing to the tips of her ears with the intensity of it. and we see it again, a few pages later

so it might seem like she's embarrassed about it and lying to herself, but... I really think it's just that Thistle is accidentally hitting sore spots. If you really look at what he says to get these reactions

"you'll live out your entire life [...] and die that way too"

"a hundred years from now, nobody will be there"

Hear me out. I think, if he stuck to harping on about her inferiority without bringing up how terrifyingly long-lived she is, she wouldn't have been as bothered. But right now, Thistle is accidentally hitting all the marks on Marcille's deepest fears-- and this is after the Winged Lion promised her that her dreams could come true in an extremely vulnerable moment, so it also hits her slightly guilty conscience as well.

I do truly believe that Marcille isn't bothered about being a half-elf the way that people assume she'd be bothered by it. To her, the biggest problem with being a half-elf is that it's isolating.

On one hand, it's not hard to imagine why she'd distance herself from elves in the west. A lot of them can clock her as a half-elf on sight, unlike other races, and therefore she's always branded with this weird stigma of being Othered -- I would even say that she considers herself lucky for being born outside of elven culture instead of having to grow up in it. I mean, just... look at the way elves talk about her.

Skipping past the uncomfortable implication of what 'not tolerating the existence' of half-elves would actually entail, this is incredibly fucking annoying. You can see why she wouldn't want to be around elves much. You see a lot of Marcille reacting badly here, but honestly, almost all of it can be attributed to her freaking out that her bluff completely failed. She's honestly more paying attention to Izutsumi's footsteps and trying to coordinate an opportunity to escape.

And in the end, you see her built-up frustration at being asked if she wants to be a full-blooded elf like 2-3 times in a row.

Yeah, yeah, "the lady doth protest too much," and all. But we know Marcille. We know that she's a lot more embarrassed and horrendously unconvincing when she's being prodded about something she's actually self-conscious about.

Moving onto the flipside of things, it might seem weird that she "pretends" to be a full elf around other races, but it's not really that strange if you think about it. Again, people are weird about her being infertile or whatever, and a lots of them don't even know much about what sets half-elves apart from everyone else. I mean, look at how uncomfortable Laios is just asking her about it

and look at how exasperated and resigned she looks

And like... she's right. Where would that come up in normal conversation? Why would she go out of her way to tell them? She's functionally a normal elf to other races anyway -- got the ears, the abnormally long "childhood", and the huge mana capacity. Unless it's directly relevant or important for people to know, I don't think it's all that strange or indicative of insecurity that she prefers not to bother with it.

(This combined with her sense of being an "outsider" to elf culture also explains why she thinks elf superiority is embarrassing. She sees the way elves treat short-lived races from the "outsider" perspective nonetheless, and thinks it's obnoxious; especially more so because she usually has to play the elf around short-lived races and deal with the reputation of arrogance that elves have built up.)

The sad thing is, this all means that... she doesn't actually fit in anywhere. She doesn't like going out West much because of how elves treat her. But she's also an outsider in the continents she was born in, treated like this exotic long-lived alien choosing to live among short-lived races for some reason. She is always an outsider, the Other, no matter where she goes. Add in the fact that she'll live longer than literally anyone she knows, and it's honestly kind of heartbreaking.

And I think that's the crux of it. Marcille really doesn't act like she's at all self-conscious about being a half-elf because of any feelings of inferiority or being half-made or whatever. She considers herself a perfectly legitimate being and might even, in some ways, consider herself superior to normal elves because she's not blind with elf supremacy or whatever. (And whatever "elven biases" she displays, all of them are born more out of the fact that she's kind of bad at conceptualizing how other races age and mature compared to herself, not that she actually considers herself better or more mature simply for being an elf.)

I think that whatever self-consciousness Marcille has about being a half-elf is, instead, related to terror and loneliness. The reminder that it ensures she'll never truly belong anywhere for the rest of her very long life. The reminder that, in truth, even she's not actually sure how old she is by other races' standards (hence the discomfort when asked how old she is). She doesn't want to not be a half elf, or be a full elf or full tall-man-- in her ideal world, she's still a half-elf. She just gets to live out her life at the same pace with the people she loves and doesn't have to say goodbye again and again and again until she dies.

and one last very important panel, right after Mithrun tells her that all her desires would be devoured

In her ideal world, she's still a half-elf and reality magically starts marching at her pace. But failing that, the second best thing is that she's still a half-elf-- but one who is able to accept reality and let go of her fear.

(But the rest of the story pans out the way it does because, to Marcille, taking reality apart and reshaping it was less scary than simply and fully reconciling with it.)

[ratasum]

Lore Post - Leyya, Whispers Infiltrator

(There are some headcanons ahead, as well as information from mine and @wall-legion's lore and slightly altered version of some events.)

The oldest child of Pruri and Daxx, and the only one they had in their contract (though both would go on to have numerous other contracts, having gotten contracted after a whirlwind college romance the minute they were of age meant things fell apart pretty quickly after Leyya was born).

With at least twelve other half siblings spread between both of her parents, she was always a little out of place.

It is, of course, important to note that Leyya was not born Leyya, but I will be referring to her as "she" and "Leyya" through the entirety of this post.

By the time Leyya was old enough to enter progeny school, Pruri was working as a private progeny instructor, primarily in a cushy position as tutoring "wards of the council." That is: she specialized in teaching orphans who were under the care of the state.

Since Leyya was the right age at the time, Pruri just decided to have her sit in on the class instead of enrolling her in a traditional progeny school. She was a friendly kid, open, got on well with the other kids around her. It helped the other progeny feel more at ease in the uncomfortable new surroundings. What happened then was unexpected, however: Leyya spotted a girl sitting in the back of the class. Prickly looking, big pale blue eyes, tucked in on herself and taking notes without really talking to anyone.

Her decision? Yeah. That girl's going to be my best friend.

This amused Pruri- after all, Leyya having a close friendship couldn't hurt. And so Leyya met Zojja, and it was pretty clear Zojja had no idea what to do with this girl with the wild white hair and pumpkin orange eyes and big toothy grin that sat down next to her and talked enthusiastically after every lesson, regardless of the what they were learning.

To be fair, it was not an easy initial friendship. Zojja was very unsure of Leyya, and Leyya was an Extremely Loud Kid. But it can be lonely being an orphan living in Charitable Council Provided Housing with Council Provided Care, especially when you're very smart and there's just something that sets you apart from everyone else. Then you've got Leyya, miss "Hey, I'm a weirdo too!"

Things did eventually warm, to the point that they were pretty much glued at the hip. And honestly, Leyya being so loud and boisterous let Zojja focus on her work… and it did eventually bring her out of her shell a bit.

They were tight enough that when Snaff came into the picture, looked at this angry but clearly brilliant ten year old orphan, and went "Is anyone gonna adopt that," he kept her in Pruri's progeny classes and happily encouraged her friendship with Leyya.

Of course, in the end, Leyya did end up going to Dynamics instead of Synergetics... not that it did much to divert her. She wound up playfully instigating academic rivalry with Zojja, though she otherwise did quite well in college. She proved to have a penchant for sneaking and hiding and getting into trouble, too. It was also during this time that she sort of started… feeling herself out.

Leyya was not as she was born, Leyya was a girl. And so in college, she tentatively came out to Zojja first. Not out of any fear of her reaction to Leyya being trans. Growing up steeped in asuran culture, being trans was a perfectly normal state of being. Matter can change its shape, and so too can people. Instead, it was because of a different reason: by this point, Leyya had developed a significant crush on Zojja, and she was worried about whether Zojja was into girls.

(She forgot to ask Zojja if she was into girls.)

After the two of them graduated, they did drift apart a little, though not completely. Zojja threw herself into her apprenticeship with Snaff while Leyya went on to be recruited by the Order of Whispers. Eventually, Leyya drifted back into Zojja's life, and the two hit it off as if they'd never spent time apart. Snaff began affectionately referring to Leyya as "Zojja's girlfriend" during introductions with strangers, something both young woman constantly denied.

This continued on even into the start of Destiny's Edge, when during one meeting at Snaff's laboratory, she was introduced as such to the new members of the small guild.

Leyya was encouraging the whole time. Zojja had her reservations, not trusting the plans of these representatives from the other races, and it was all Leyya could do to try to keep her spirits up as things grew more and more tense.

And then, late one night, she met Zojja at the entrance to Snaff's lab as she returned home alone, having cremated her adopted father and mentor with her own hands after their disastrous attempt in Elona.

She was one of the only people outside of Destiny's Edge to witness Zojja cry, sitting on the floor with her long into the early hours, draped over her like a blanket and paying little mind to the tears that soaked her thick leather jerkin as her childhood best friend, the most beloved person in her life, grieved the loss of her master.

As for Leyya, she vowed to never let Zojja bear that kind of weight alone ever again.

As time passed, Leyya did her best to help out where she could. She encouraged her parents to help sponsor the creation of the Snaff Savant prize, and for the six years it ran leading up to the Personal Story, Leyya was often in the peripheral, keeping an eye on things and being there should Zojja need a "gopher."

When Zojja came to her to let her know she was seeking out her old classmate Vezz with the intention of having him help with a project since his recent rumored "explosive" exit from the Inquest, she gladly stepped in to help, leading Vezz's induction into the Order of Whispers and then tailing Zojja through the dungeons as the war against Zhaitan progressed. When they learned of Logan's sacrifice in Arah, it was Leyya again who encouraged Zojja to finally speak with Eir, leading the two women to finally bridge the gap and start working down the path to reconciliation.

Through LWS1 and LWS2, Leyya spent her time alternating between living with Zojja and traveling to keep an eye on the younger of her two apprentices, Taimi. It was a time for both of them to relax, and Leyya's time away provided Zojja with time to work and to continue her talks with Eir.

HoT provided the major pivot point. Leyya was at Zojja's side en route into the jungle, but they were separated when the Pact airships were decimated. And when Leyya finally was able to get back to everyone, she learned what had happened to her beloved Zojja. Furious at what had happened and at herself, she went searching for some way to find some form of vengeance. And she found it in an ancient dagger. On slicing through the skin of her arm with it, she was overwhelmed by a foreign power, foreign entity, foreign thoughts...

And so her possession by the Kryptis, Cepir the Greedy, began. She immediately went into hiding, immense guilt overwhelming Cepir's attempts to use her lust and anger to return to Zojja immediately.

What happens next is a story for another day.

[devilheartsblog]

Here’s Part 2 of some ideas I’m doodled for my Winx rewrite

Last post seemed to do better than I expected and I’m glad a few people enjoyed it. So here are some more things I want to work with.

I like Artu and Roxy’s relationship but I would have also liked some backstory on them and more depth. Like Gantlos said “it’s just a dog”. How did Roxy get Artu? Is he adopted or bought? Is there a reason he doesn’t like anyone outside of Roxy and Klaus?

In my rewrite, yes. Abandoned as a puppy, a kid Roxy took him in after her mother left her dad unexpectedly. She basically raised Artu and he means a lot to her, but she never socialised him since she herself isn’t social with people (so while Artu may tolerate someone’s prescence he doesn’t like being touched or seen upclose). Roxy raising Artu is also why she gets pissed and earns her fairy form but doesn’t want the fairy gig since it ended up hurting her dog, because as a fairy the wizards are after her and Gantlos hurt Artu.

Speaking of Gantlos

Gantlos my beloved you’re so fucking bland the only personality trait you have is having fucked up pointy hands and a cool hat <3

Ok in all honestly I like his apathy to animals and the Winx in general, but that also applies to the other wizards to some extent. At least you can say something about the other wizards; Orgon’s voice is top tier, Duman has really cool powers and design, Anagan’s banter with Flora’s entertaining. This one’s technically a headcannon I made cannon in the rewrite. I did my research btw.

Gantlos has a pretty intense fear of deers also called Elafiphobia, even asking Duman to not shapeshift into one. It’s pretty bad, seeing a deer gets him pretty close to a panic attack. I’m not going to spoil why but I’ll say it’s a consequence of the Great Fairy Hunt. In fact all the Wizards despite being the cause have been affected by the fairy hunt, either overall or because of a major event. Gantlos’ deer phobia is also why he doesn’t like/care about animals initially, I mean, why should he like them? Just cause they’re cute? Hah!

Apart from Riven and Musa I hate the melodrama in season 4 it’s so shit. Since in my version Sky isn’t in the story cause king stuff, Mitzi is narratively cremated and Nabu doesn’t die, on top of planning to expand on Anagan and Flora’s relationship as rivals and Anagan “flirting” with her, it’d be weird for Helia to be like “eh”. Like even if Flora can hold her own I think he’d at least be a little concerned and annoyed at Anagan.

So yeah, Helia’s conflict is having a case of Impostor syndrome because Anagan’s a foil to him; confident, extroverted, confrontational, and actually bounces off of Flora really well. (Like, I don’t ship Anagan and Flora but the people who do I don’t blame them, it sounds more interesting) Even if Flora doesn’t reciprocate Anagan’s feelings, Helia feels inadequate and is anxious Flora will lose interest and might even break up with him since he’s the anti-social poet of the group. Timmy could even help after his confidence arc in Season 2. He’s not overprotective of Flora like wanting to fight Anagan since it kinda goes against his pacifism but the narrative doesn’t care about that as much as I do :/

And lastly I think it’s be neat if we saw a more fleshed out dynamic between the Wizards, the best I can think of is when they’re protected by Syllia and Duman almost slips their plan to which Anagan says he’s being whoosy, Orgon complains about being protected by fairies while Gantlos is fine with it.

A lot of the rewrite is focused on fleshing out the wizards because I want complex villains grr, and they’re perfect for it. The Earth Fairies? They’re good but they’re dead in my rewrite soooo-

I like to think Orgon is pretty manipulative of them. Was he always like this? No, but he’s desperate to secure the disappearance of magic from Earth, and his manipulation gets worse and worse as the episodes go on, in the end being threats and guilt-tripping. He still cares but mostly how the wizards can be of service to the Black Circle. And yes Duman is his favorite because he has the best powers. Shapeshifting will always be OP and the best power in my heart.

Anyway that’s all folks. If I make a part 3 it’ll probs cover some other stuff like Jason Queen, which I like his character, it’s perfect for Musa’s development (until they made Bloom the fucking main singer like WHYYY) or perhaps talk about Klaus or Morgana, Tecna and Timmy and more about Nabu. Anyway I’ll go watch some more nostalgic minecraft videos and webtoon rants. See ya!

[rayshippouuchiha]

PAPA AU —

With Sasuke and Kakashi both having an underlying scent of Ozone as part of them… I’m not suggesting who’s the middle of the puppy pile when Kakashi has a solo or higher rank mission outside the village, but I’m hinting at the possibility with a big flare for some cute/angsty/humor filled moments.

Squish the Sasuke.

✰

If Kakashi's not around then I could honestly see the Center of the Puppy Pile changing around depending on the situation because all three of the pups would/could need that for their own reasons.

Cause when Kakashi has to take a mission his pups can't follow him on then of course they're all going to want to be in his apartment anyways. And, if he's being honest, he wouldn't want them anywhere but his trap-riddled apartment, his territory, when he can't be with them in person.

So they'll at least have the fact that they've denned down in his home to make them all feel better.

But without him there for them to cling to physically, and with Naruto's shadow clones only able to do so much, that means they take turns as to who can be the center.

Sometimes it's Naruto who clings to both of them desperately, so afraid he'll wake up alone again.

Sometimes it's Sasuke who needs both of their weight on him to keep him from feeling like he's drifting away towards that bit of madness Itachi sowed inside of him that never seems to go away.

Sometimes it's Saukra who needs both of the boys pressed against her to battle back the fear of being left behind, of waking up to both of them having gone where she can't follow.

And when Kakashi returns from whatever mission he's gone on, after he's washed away the sweat and the blood, he's always right back in the center, his pups pressed even closer than before. A reminder that he has this to come home to.

[gravity-barbie]

The Sparrows Having a crush on you HCs

Request @starfishfaerie

Umbrella version

Masterlist

A/N: I didn’t include Christopher cause I hit writers block really quick when I tried to

Marcus Hargreeves

-Honestly Marcus doesn’t even consider that you might reject him

-He is the epitome of smooth, casually flirting with you with enough charm to keep your attention without ever coming across as too forward or creepy

-Though the fact that he’s so relaxed about it can make you question how serious he’s being

-He’s not above trying to impress you with both the fame of being a superhero and holding the coveted number one slot of the sparrows

-He’s respectful enough to want to do the right thing by you but he has no reference for what that would be

-He’s even unsure about making his move, fearing he’d endanger you

Ben Hargreeves

-Ben’s fairly self-confident so he’s not afraid to put himself out there however he does think his feelings for you would interfere with his other goals so doesn’t act on them

-Actually he kind of resents his crush because of that, he’s mad at himself for letting you distract him, and you do distract him

-Still he tries to keep you interested in him, in his own way, doing things like humble-bragging about his accomplishments in crime-fighting

-And whenever you respond with anything remotely ego-stroking it’s just the best feeling in the world

-Though he really tries to keep his guard up around you something about your company relaxes him, you wouldn’t know it thanks to his uptightness but the time he spends with you is the happiest he ever is

-You do occasionally see his softer side but whenever anyone else is around he completely freezes you out, like a switch is flipped

-He’s definitely prone to jealousy, he tries not to give those feelings the time of day but whenever your relationship with a viable romantic partner advances he’s fuming and all his siblings will notice he’s more irritable than usual

Fei Hargreeves

-It takes a while for Fei to start to let you in but it’s soon after that that she -much to her concern- develops a crush on you

-She really tries to fight these feelings, considering them a weakness and a distraction from her duty

-But it’s a rare treat for her to have someone in her life as warm and trustworthy as you and she’s kind of hooked on it

-She takes as many steps as possible to make sure your association with her doesn’t endanger you

-In general she’s fairly protective of you and more than willing to unleash her flock on someone who gives you trouble

-She has a knack for finding excuses to see you without alerting Reginald or her siblings to her interest or talking her way out of any suspicion they do develop

-It takes some time but eventually you get the honour of being one of the only people to get to know her relaxed, fun side and after even more time it becomes her default around you

Alphonso Hargreeves

-Honestly Alphonso would rather not have the feelings for you that he does, he kind of considers them an inconvenience

-He doesn’t drop many hints about his crush, he’s actually kind of scared of you figuring it out

-He tries to give you his signature snark but it’s undeniably less vicious than usual and just turns into you two bantering

-Actually he can’t bare to hurt your feelings, he had on a few occasions before he got to know you better and it still haunts him

-He’s considered telling Jayme about you thousands of times just to get it off his chest and get a fresh perspective but he never goes through with it

-He’s a bit over-protective, getting suspicious of many of the people you come into contact with and when someone gives him a genuine reason to be he has a wonderful time tearing them apart (probably just verbally)

-He can’t stop himself from getting in pissing contests with any person who shows romantic interest in you

Sloane Hargreeves

-Sloane falls hard and is soon acting like a lovesick teenager, doing everything but doodling your name in her notebook

-Part of her is more nervous around you than she is in the tensest of battles and part of her is more carefree than she ever thought she could be

-She’s quite the daydreamer, imagining scenarios of the future you two could have together, or ways to confess her feelings

-She wants to learn anything about you that you’ll tell her

-She’s the only one that would really intend to act on her feelings, she already wanted to leave the academy but after falling for you that desire ramps up to 11

-She tries very hard to keep her family away from you and keep her crush a secret from them, only seeing you discreetly

-You can probably pick up on her crush, she treats you with almost too much kindness (especially from a Hargreeves) and is always brimming with enthusiasm to be around you

Sloane’s reaction to you having a crush on her

Jayme Hargreeves

-Attraction crosses her mind every time she sees you but it takes her a while to commit to the thought

-She tries to suppress her feelings, as since you’re almost definitely weaker than her caring about you makes her feel more vulnerable than she’d like

-She doesn’t talk to you much more than anyone else but what she has said has been able to make you laugh or blush

-She pokes fun at you a fair bit, partially to deflect from her soft spot for you and partially because she likes flustering you

-Alphonso is the only person that really suspects anything, he never directly addresses it (knowing all to well it’s not a safe subject) but he does occasionally subtly tease Jayme with the implication that he knows

-Despite loving her downtime she’d sacrifice it in a heartbeat to hang out with you

-She doesn’t bother trying to figure out if you like her back, partially fearing that you wont but also fearing that you will, because it still wouldn’t mean you could necessarily be together

[gilbirda]

Jason x Jazz AU but Jason is working part time as a cook in some run-down diner that Jazz frequents to buy dinner. One day, she went over-time at Arkham, passes by the diner with a sigh (it's on the way home), and she bumps into Jason who was taking out the trash.

Jason recognizes Jazz because she's the only one who orders for food that won't come back to life, and he finds it hilarious. But he was also kinda, sorta, a little bit worried about her - shut up!! It's not a crush!! - so he has a container filled with her usual that's packed beside the other leftover food that was cooked for some homeless kids that lived near him.

Jazz is delighted, and her smile is so pretty - okay, so maybe he does have a crush - and so he tells her how many minutes she should microwave it for. She thanks him and waves him good bye, Jason waves back. And he's been waving his hand for a solid 30 seconds with a dopey grin on his face before Nightwing pops up behind him with a shit-eating grin, scaring the shit out of Jason.

"Who's the giiiiiiiiiirl?"

Jason rolls his eyes, kicks his brother in the shins, and walks back into the kitchen to pack the rest of the food.

It happens like this for some time, every week, there will be one day Jazz does overtime.

Jason, hearing from Red Robin's reports that she's been successful in helping many criminals turn a new leaf, is proud of Jasmine and cooks a whole lot more for her, even going by to visit her to deliver a healthy breakfast once he pretends to find out that they lived in the same apartment.

Danny no longer had to worry bout Jazz not taking care of herself because Jason even packs lunch for her, cooks breakfast and Dinner for her and--

"If you marry him, nothing will change except for the fact that he will now cook in your shared kitchen, Jazz. C'mon!" he says, munching on HER pesto pasta specially made by Jason.

Dick and Tim are so tired watching Jason pine from afar, and tells him to FOR THE LOVE OF WONDER WOMAN JUST ASK OUT OUR FUTURE SISTER IN LAW ALREADY.

Alfred hands Jason a recipe book titled "Recipes That Will Definitely Get You a Date".

********

Fast forward, the two are already dating, and Jazz's parents come to visit. Jason, who came by Jazz's apartment in the morning to impress her family with a homecooked breakfast, checks the fridge AND SCREAMS, TAKING OUT HIS GUNS, AND SHOOTING THE SCREAMING MONSTROSITY LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IT'S NOT DYING!

The goopey monster is also kinda resonating with Jason, and it's making Jason uncomfortable because he could feel the monster goop's fear and-

Jazz steps in. She sucks the goop in some kind of thermos, throws the thermos to Danny who caught it with ease, and sits Jason down. And then, she spends that morning while her parents are asleep telling him all about her and Danny's past.

After all of it, Jason sits back with a tired sigh, processing everything.

Then he furrows his brows.

"Wait, so, is all the food in the fridge contaminated with ectoplasm?"

"Yeah?" Danny answers.

Jason pulls out the black card he stole from Bruce's wallet last night.

"We're buying a new fridge."

Jason also manages to successfully impress Danny with his cooking. "Jazz, if you don't marry him, I will make him adopt me!"

Jason just wonders why the siblings don't question his guns. (Danny watches over Jason sometimes, on nights Jazz was worried over the guy. And Danny was also worried about Jason, because Jason felt like a baby ghost. The two knows his secret, and they're both very proud of him, Danny especially for some reason... It's not because he feels like a baby!!!

And while Jason was being watched over by Danny as Phantom, he feels a sense of calm, like being protected in the warm arms of a parent/family *snort*)

***

I... I have no words, anon. You have here a whole AU.

(Jason's love language being food will never get old for me hehehehehehhe)

Honestly squealed at this

And he's been waving his hand for a solid 30 seconds with a dopey grin on his face before Nightwing pops up behind him with a shit-eating grin, scaring the shit out of Jason. "Who's the giiiiiiiiiirl?"

And also, Alfred knows what's up 👀

Alfred hands Jason a recipe book titled "Recipes That Will Definitely Get You a Date".

I can imagine the slow burn going on and their respective siblings Suffering(tm) because they ship it so hard and they want to meet them in person and you know what, fuck it, they will bond with bf/gf on their own and

Danny dropping the invisibility while stalking Jason like heyyyyyyy whats upppp and honestly becoming friends on their own and lots of undead bonding going on.

and batkids taking Jasmine out for fun stuff, maybe for ice cream and tell her all the dirt on their brother and Alfred sent a specifically made for her album with pictures of baby Jason when he arrived at the Manor and it was supposed to be used for blackmail, but Jasmine looks so excited about the photos and damn they can't pick on him anymore

idk the packaged food and househusband Jason got to me

thanks for the treat, anon

[kaaragen]

So, I've been mulling it over, and I now have my considered thoughts on Tales of the Empire!

First Morgan and then the bit that matters.

I thought Morgan's segment was entertaining, and I liked learning about another Dathomiri clan. But for real, she's never beating the 'damn we shouldn't have killed Pryce' allegations XD. And that's the problem. The whole thing had a feeling of canon welding, as the airplane rattles apart at 30,000 feet. Perhaps most egregious is the explanation for how she met Thrawn. Apparently, she's behind his favoured TIE fighter design! Does she have any knoweldge of engineering, orbital mechanics, astrophysics or anything else that might enable her to look at a TIE fighter and say 'hey, I know how to improve that!' If she does, the show has no interest in telling us.

Then there's the whole wanting revenge thing. Why? Againts whom? For what purpose? The only thing she takes revenge on in the episodes is a forest, and what did that do to her?

Okay, now the main event: Barriss.

I set my expectations really low, so nearly anything would pass it. Acknowledging that, I'd say this was about the best I would have hoped for given the constraints of canon, Filoni and such. It was really nice getting to see Barriss being the idealist, sticking to her values and having the courage to say no when it became clear where the Inquisitorious was going. And she never fully bought into it, showing she has learned from her prior experience. As a friend pointed out, even when she choked Dante her eyes never turned yellow.

Seeing her as a Jedi Master at the conclusion also felt special, and not going ot lie, I did shed a small tear when I saw her free and at peace with herself after so long. And I love the fact that she defeats Lyn, not with badass lightsabre moves, but by being relentlessly kind and compassionate. Or, essentially, allows Lyn to defeat herself and so open the path back for her. It's a rare display, in Star Wars, of a character actually using the Force for knowledge and defence and not attack.

I loved the implication the reconciled with Ahsoka and made her peace with Luminara. And I don't mind those not being shown on screen; honestly I'd prefer they get time devoted to them in a novel or a comic, rather than 2-5 minutes in what are some already quite rushed episodes.

I'm 80% sure she's dead, and honestly I'm okay with that. She died to save a child and redeem a nobody (in meta-terms with Lyn), and there's something truly Jedi in that. There's something beautiful in that.

That said, there are two caveats.

The first is on Ahsoka. I'm getting increasingly frustrated with the way that Barriss' importance to Ahsoka is getting airbrushed out of the story. Because it is an important component. What sells Ahsoka on leaving the Order is not just the Council's lack of faith it's because she agrees with Barriss. Not in the method she chose, but in her critqiue yes. How can she not? She's just seen her good friend, a paragon Jedi in her eyes, fall to Darkness in fear of what the Order was becoming and she never suspected a thing.

And from Barriss' side the persistent question is why did she target Ahsoka and no one else? I'm starting to suspect that Filoni has worked out that only reasonable answer to this one is Barrisoka one and because he's allergic to writing relationships (a friend pointed out how much he seems to dislike physical displays of affection in his stories), but also specifically with reference to Ahsoka.

The second is on the bombing, and murder of Letta and clone troopers. Like, I'm happy that eleven years later it's been decided that having the Muslim-coded girl become a terrorist was a bad move. And I'm happy to take Barriss' gentle portrayal here as something of an apology note. But ultimately, Filoni made that decision so he doesn't get to employ fanfic rules to handwave it.

And the thing is, addressing it in the text would make the arc stronger. Because it's a fascinating flaw in Barriss' character that, for all her idealism, piety etc. when push came to shove she was too afraid to take the role of martyr and got someone else (willing or not) to do it. We need to see her grapple with that fear and work through it. We do see a strain of this (she does initially turn a blind eye to Lyn's massacre of the vilalge), but it's not really developed. Because it makes her triumph at the finish all the more important.

Barriss at the finish is not a Jedi Master because she can dance around lightsabre blades and spout wisdom laced in sarcasm (though those are cool!). She's a Jedi Master because she's transferring (so it's implied) her life energy to heal others. She's a Jedi Master because she allows herself to potentially be sacrificed to guide another back to the Light.

She's a Jedi Master because she's finally surpassed her fear and let go of her final attachment.

[lomlhwa]

friends? lovers? (k.sw)

pairing: childhood bff!sunwoo x childhood bff!reader

preview: you lose contact with your best friend since birth. 5 years later, you're reunited. will your feelings for each other reignite at this sudden meeting?

tags/warnings: virgin fem reader, sprinkle of angst, lots and lots of praise, implied big dick!sunwoo, eye contact, lipstick stains everywhere, loss of reader's virginity, body worship, marking, hair pulling, hand holding, reader and sunwoo are IN LOVE, so many love confessions and "i love you"s, even more "i missed you"s, mutual pining, unprotected penetration (wrap it before you tap it), creampie

trigger warnings: n/a

wc: 2.5k

song recs for this fic: style by taylor swift, reveal by the boyz, god damn by i.m, libidO by onlyoneof

a/n: this was requested by @kswneoguri <3. i hope this is what you were asking for, thank you for requesting!!

from the moment the doctors handed you to your mother, she had decided that sunwoo would be your best friend for life. she was pretty desperate to make sure he was your soulmate. 

honestly, you firmly believe that she manifested it into the world. you’ve been two peas in a pod since before you could walk. you would throw fits when you weren’t in the same class, couldn’t sit next to each other, or if you had to be apart for more than a day.

is that healthy? some professionals would say no. but it elated your mother. you managed to always avoid meltdowns because you would see sunwoo so often. having mothers who are also besties really helped the strength of your bond.  

now, the real problems hit when your father decided to send you to an all-girls high school. this meant no more seeing sunwoo everyday. this meant you had a meltdown on the first day of grade 9. 

sunwoo had been your only friend for your entire life. no one ever dared get between the two of you. and now, there’s an entire school system between you. 

you walked into that school scared and alone. you sat by yourself in the back of all your classes. you scrolled on your phone, read books and just did your work as instructed.

now for the real icing on the cake, sunwoo moved cities away. 6 hours of distance and different school boards between you. you’d lost touch more than ever. honestly, you can’t even remember the last time you got to see him face-to-face.

you ended up going through the entirety of high school without seeing sunwoo once. after two years of being apart, he’d even stopped answering your phone calls. your mothers even stopped speaking to each other. 

you had lost contact with your soulmate.

now, here you are, in the middle of university getting your degree. you’ve done nothing but work, work, work since you got to uni. what else are you supposed to do when your closest friend hasn’t connected with you in almost 5 years. 

due to the fact that you’re the most antisocial person in existence, you’ve kept up good grades. great, even. you could very well make the honor roll. 

your professors love you, other students pretty much ignore you, but other than that you’re pretty happy. 

you do have one friend. one single friend. layla is the nicest person you’ve met in a long time. she’s no sunwoo, but she’s the closest you’ll probably ever get. she’s your best friend. the replacement pea in your pod. 

tonight, she’s trying to convince you to go clubbing. something you rarely do. her reasoning? “y/n, you need to get out there and get yourself some play,” layla stomps around your room for the millionth time. you don’t really need to get laid. you’re perfectly fine as you are. a virgin.

“i don’t need ‘play’, i need to study,” you shake your laptop at your best friend. she walks over and takes your computer out of your hands. she tosses it onto your bed, making sure it lands carefully on the mattress.

“just tonight. lets go get hammered and hook up with a hot guy,” she nudges your head with her elbow. she knows you’re a virgin and wants you to get over your fear. she, of all people, knows how sex works.

you know you won’t win arguing against her. “fine, only tonight,” she squeals and grabs your hand. she’s going to make you look as slutty as possible. anything to get you laid. 

she digs through your wardrobe and pulls out a silver, shiny, wrap shirt. accentuating your breasts and making them look supple. she pairs it with a tiny, tight, black skirt. your ass looks bigger and grabbable. 

she plants you down on a chair and beats your face with makeup. you look almost runway ready. you’re definitely club ready, that’s for sure.

“oh my god, y/n. you look amazing,” she claps, patting herself on the back for her good work getting you dressed. “if you don’t leave with a hot guy, i will lose my mind.” 

as soon as you enter the club, your ears are filled with bass boosted music. layla immediately drags you to the bar. she orders a set of shots and you down 3 like water. 

she pushes you to the dance floor with mumbles of “i’m right behind you” and “i swear i won’t abandon you.” then, she abandons you for a hot guy already into her. 

you hover around by yourself, swaying to the music. you get used to being surrounded by people but having no one pay any real attention to you. a few fleeting glances and a whistle or two. but no one is fully interested in you. 

and then, you bump into someone. hard enough for you to almost topple over. but, you catch yourself.

you spin around to apologize but instead, you freeze in shock. the tall man you managed to knock into is the man you’d been longing for for half a decade. your breath gets caught in your throat and you almost feel like you might vomit. 

“sunwoo,” you finally breathe. you swear you can see that his eyes are watering despite the dim lighting. the loud boom of the music has become nothing but a faint rumble in the back of your head. 

“i can’t believe you’re here,” he wraps himself around you and takes in your scent. he basks in your long lost presence. he thinks that if he lets go of you, he’ll lose you again. but, he releases you from his arms to take in your appearance.

you definitely had not dressed for reuniting with your childhood soulmate. you were more dressed to unite with a guy who wanted nothing to do with you after the alcohol wore off.

“you wanna get out of here?” he asks and you nod. catching up with your old friend would be kind of difficult in a club. he takes you by the hand and walks out of the club. you take a deep breath of the cool midnight air. 

“how’ve you been, y/n?” he finally asks. you shrug. “fine, i guess. just, doing a lot of school,” you explain. your life had been pretty uneventful. being friendless for a handful of years meant that you had no reason for an eventful life.

“oh. well, i’m pretty much the same,” he trails off, staring off into the sky. “did you miss me?” 

did. you. miss. him? how could he ask you that? how could he not know the torment that your heart went through when he left? “of course i missed you,” you scoff. “i just about lost my mind when you stopped calling.” he shakes his head and sighs. he wants to have a good explanation as to why he stopped contacting you. but, he really didn’t have one.

“i’m sorry,” he mumbles. sorry doesn’t cut it for you. “sorry? you’re “sorry”?” you use air quotes to emphasize your sarcasm. he bites his bottom lip as it quivers. 

“sorry doesn’t cut it for being abandoned by the person who was raised to be my best friend. sorry doesn’t make up for the 5 years i spent wondering what i did to push you away,” your eyes begin to water. he hurt you more than he would ever be able to understand.

he reaches out to hold your face in his hands. he rubs your cheek with the pad of his thumb, looking at you with sad eyes. “my precious y/n,” he presses his lips together in a thin line. your heart races and blood rushes to your cheeks. 

“i stopped talking to you because i was so in love with you that the distance was starting to physically hurt me,” he sniffles and turns his head to wipe his nose on his shirt sleeve. tears finally spill out of his eyes. he missed you so much and now he’s professing his love to you. 

“i loved you too. i still do. with every beat of my fragile heart, it calls for you,” you take your own hands and wrap them around his wrists. you look up at his with glassy, tear stained eyes and he loses it.

he presses his plump lips to yours and sighs. he’d wanted to do this since before he moved. and now here he is, kissing his childhood crush outside a nightclub. the wetness of fresh tears hit your face. he’s full on crying now.

“y/n, i’m so sorry i left you. please, let me make it up to you,” he presses his forehead to yours. you nod. “make it up to me, sunwoo.” he pulls his phone out and books an uber to pick you up and take you to his apartment. 

as soon as the car pulls up to his building, he's dragging you inside and up the stairs. his hand never leaves yours. he fumbles with his keys to unlock his door, almost dropping them a few times. 

he finally manages to open his front door, scurrying into his home. as soon as the door is locked and your shoes are settled at the front mat, his lips are on yours. 

his hands travel to your back, his fingertips pressing under your shirt. he draws gentle circles along the bare strip of exposed skin. you break your kiss momentarily with a gasp. 

"jump y/n," he mumbles against your mouth. you hop and he catches you in his muscular arms. wrapping your legs around his waist, you deepen the kiss. 

he walks carefully down the dark hallway to his bedroom. you disconnect your lips and reconnect them to his neck. you leave bright red lipstick marks on his supple skin; a lustful piece of artwork.

he kicks his door open and drops you on his bed. he runs his hand through his hair and studies your disheveled figure. your shirt has begun to ride up on your torso, just past your navel. your skirt flipped up when he plopped you down on the mattress. 

lord knows that if he hadn’t been in love with you before, he would be now. 

he tugs his shirt over his head before pouncing on you, nipping and sucking on your bottom lip. when he pulls away to look into your hooded eyes, you really notice just how much of your lipstick covered his face. 

he slides his hands under your shirt and you lift up at the waist to help him remove it fully. he sets it down on the floor next to his nightstand. his hands glide over your breasts, pressing them together, admiring your cleavage in his palms. 

“s-sunwoo,” you whimper. he looks up at you and hums. “i’ve n-never done this before.” your words are barely above a whisper. your anxiety takes you over as soon as the sentence leaves your mouth.

his eyes immediately shift to worry. “do you want to do this?” his hands trail away from your chest, but you catch them and bring them back up. you trust him despite the years of distance and longing. 

“yes. please, take me,” you grab his face and kiss him again. his hands make their way to your waist, gripping you tightly as if you might run away. you momentarily worry he’ll leave bruises; but you come to the conclusion that that would be okay.

your own hands travel to his jeans, fumbling with the button and zipper. he chuckles against your lips, finding your difficulty with his clothes to be endearing. he shoos your hands away and rakes charge, taking his pants off himself. 

he looks into your eyes again for permission to remove your skirt and you nod. you lift your lower half off the bed for easy removal. “i love you so much,” he sighs, smiling like a maniac.

he kisses you up and down. the remainder of the lipstick on his face ends up on your own skin. kiss marks and love bites litter your exposed skin. he kisses up your arms, down your torso paying special attention to your stomach, and ends his kisses on the insides of your thighs.

as much as he’d like to taste you, or even do everything under the sun, he thinks he might explode if he can’t get inside of you soon. he presses your thighs apart before settling between them.

he hooks his fingers under the waistband of your underwear and tugs them down your legs. he pulls his own underwear off and hovers over you. he doesn’t give you a chance to see his size out of fear that you’ll chicken out. 

“are you ready, my precious y/n?” his voice is soft and comforting. your nerves immediately relax. you nod your head, shuffling around trying to get some sort of friction. he groans lowly, his head hanging low.

"i've never been more ready for anything," your voice is breathy and on the verge of cracking. your eyes are half closed and you’re hazily grinding on him. you almost feel barely conscious but your senses are on overdrive.

he reaches down to align his rock hard cock with your entrance, biting into his lip to suppress a moan. he slides into you slowly, inch by inch, until he’s sheathed into you completely. he traps you between his arms, his hands on either side of your head. you reach up and slide your hands under his, intertwining your fingers tightly. 

“i love you,” you whisper. your lip quivers as he begins to move, the stretch stinging just enough to bring tears to your eyes. “i love you so much, sunwoo,” you say again. you squeeze his hands, digging your fingernails into the tops of his hands. 

“i love you too, y/n. i’ve missed you so much, fuck,” he leans down to kiss you harshly. your tongues clash in a spitty, slobbery fight for dominance. you lose inevitably and he sucks on the end of your tongue. his merciless pace inside you has you inching closer and closer to your release.

“i’m gonna cum, please, sunwoo. don’t stop,” you grip his hands tighter and arch your back just a little. this slight change in your position makes him reach just that little bit further into you. you snap almost instantly, clamping down on him.

your breath gets caught in your throat, your eyes roll back and your hands go slack in sunwoo’s. he few more thrusts and his hips are stuttering. “where do you want it?” he pants into your ear as you twitch under him. “i-inside, please sunwoo,” you gasp.

two more pathetic thrusts and he’s pumping into you. he stays bottomed out in you while he shoots 3 ropes of cum into you. he rubs his thumb on one of your hands, soothing you. he licks a bead of sweat off your forehead.

“i love you and i missed you,” you say for the millionth time. he smiles and kisses your cheek. 

“i love you more.”

© kevinsluvr 2023

[layla4567]

Spoilers Loki s2 e5

I have a lot to say!!! (this will be long)

Ok first of all this scene made me laugh a lot because of how randomly they presented the original timeline of Mobius, he looks like a child playing (oh and him being a single dad it makes a lot of sense to me)

expectation:

reality:

Oh my f*cking god If I liked O.B before, now I love him with all my soul! He is not only a nerdy genius but a science fiction geek whose passion is to be a writer!!! And why didn't they let him keep his books in the bookstore?! I would gladly buy them!! Just look at his face, he needs a hug :(

AND WHY THE FUCK DID THEY NOT HELP HIM WHEN THE BOOKS DROPPED ON HIM?! IT COSTS NOTHING TO BE KIND DAMN IT

Ok, I think we've all realized that O.B's workshop is the same as the basement where he works at the TVA, maybe he was the one who created the TVA after all? btw how beautiful the photography is in this entire series.

I admit it, I laughed my ass off at this scene, I apologize (make it a meme pls lol) Honestly, this whole scene and the interactions that O.B had with Loki made me laugh (when Loki tries to control his timeslipping or when O.B electrocutes him as scientific proof)

This scene where Loki adjusts his hair and his jacket to see Mobius 👀 (he only does it with him) I wonder what the Sylki fans have to say

Remember how I said I hated Hunter X5/Brad Wolfe? Well I was wrong, there is one person I hate more, her. Girl, they're literally telling you that everything is going to shit and you don't give a damn? On top of that, when they tell you that you are selfish, do you take it naturally as if it were something to be proud of? Why are you like this? The worst thing of all is that when Loki says he wants his friends back she calls him selfish, not sweetheart, that's not being selfish. Being selfish is turning a blind eye to a problem that you mainly caused. Loki's fear of being alone is understandable and justified since he felt that way all his life and has done all the things he did for that same reason, which It's being really selfish, it's the opposite, wanting to be alone and forget your friends and not care that their timelines are falling apart. Sylvie you are a hypocrite (sorry I had to vent)

AAAAAAAAAA I'M GOING TO CRY GOD. I said it and I will always say it Loki needs a hug 😭 This scene is super moving because it shows us Loki's true purpose, he just wants his friends back, who are also people he hasn't known for a long time but who were attentive to him (btw Tom Hiddleston always shines in all his scenes )

This scene...holy shit this scene was scary. I think it's even more terrifying than Thanos' snap.

It's overwhelming how everything around her disappears in seconds leaving her in literal emptiness. There is absolutely nothing left, only threads floating in an enveloping blackness. When I saw that scene I felt empty and desolate.

OH SHIT HERE WE GO AGAIN...

NOOOOOOO MOBIUS NOT YOU (He just wanted to save his children 😭)

Loki's face when he sees his friend disappear D: (I'm having deja vu from the first season when Mobius was pruned)

Sylvie too?! Why does she disappear and Loki doesn't? (By the way, you just arrived Sylvie when you realize that everything is disappearing? really?)

Ok this is a nightmare for Loki, he was left alone and couldn't do anything to avoid all that, I think it's the most hopeless scene of the episode :( (And the way he tries to grab those threads…I'm broken)

OK HEAR ME OUT BECAUSE I HAVE A LOT TO SAY ABOUT THIS SCENE. I think the background voices help a lot with the feeling of anguish and helplessness that Loki feels, for not being able to save what he loved most, his friends. And when you feel overwhelmed by all those voices and at the end one stands out and it's Sylvie's voice saying something like what makes a Loki a Loki is the fact that we are destined to lose? That's when he screams in despair and goes back in time just a few seconds earlier and manages to control his timeslipping. And I must say that at first when I saw this scene it reminded me a lot of the scene from the movie "Ella Enchanted" when she is forced to kill the prince and she is surrounded by mirrors and begins to remember moments of her life such as when her mother told him to trust her or something like that (I don't remember the scene much, I saw it years ago lol) the point is that she refuses with all her heart to obey that order and in a moment of desperation she screams just like Loki and she says that she will no longer be obedient and drops the dagger, freeing herself from the spell. I don't know if you understand my point because I'm bad at explaining, but I think that the love he feels for his friends was what made him go back in time, that strong desire to want to make things right and that determination to say "this isn't true." It can end like this, I decide what is going to happen" (free will) I think that is what makes him finally able to control the situation, love is the most powerful force. Something similar happens in the movie "Tomorrowland" I think.

This scene is really powerful, the background music, the phrases that Loki says, the context of the scene, it is cinema. I think you don't need an action scene or scenes for a scene to be epic and move you. This is epic with so little, it is simple but effective. And the music is really the icing on the cake, it is so hopeful and gives strength to the moment when Loki returns to the TVA being able to fulfill his mission, I cried. Loki has evolved into a hero who saves the day and everyone.

And that ending??! Oh no the cliffhanger again..

Phew I know this was very long but I really needed this kind of catharsis, never has a Loki episode left me with so many emotions and beautiful things like this one. I laughed, I got excited, I cried and I was scared. I am very happy with the evolution of Loki and each episode that passes wins my heart more, I can't wait to see the next chapter. Everything is perfect in this series, the music, the settings, the actors, etc. It shows that it is made with the heart

[bucky-h0e]

A/n: Bucky's celebratory day! This is a long-term fic, so make sure to check out the Serendipity Masterlist for more Alpine and Bucky! I am open to requests and love hearing feedback - don't be shy!

So we get to see a little bit more of Alpine's character, other than the absolute chaotic mess that she was introduced as. This ended up being a lot more angsty than I wanted it, but I like how it went, Alpine's character needed a bit more development.

warnings: some absolute pure unfiltered fluff and angst (mainly angst), Alpine being a little sweetheart, Bucky nearly cries (for good reasons), mentions of both Bucky's and Alpine's trauma, an extremely angsty father's day (i am so sorry it just sort of happened)

Alpine's First Father's Day Celebration

Now, mother's day was a success. Much to Bucky's disappointment, Alpine and Sam had gone out for dinner that night, wanting some 'mother-daughter' bonding

Sam outright refused to acknowledge it as such

but seeing these two bond and grow closer over this celebration, Bucky was nervous about father's day

would he say he thought of Alpine as a daughter?

yes

does he think he deserves the absolute pleasure to be considered her father?

no

he did a lot of bad things in his past life and a part of him

a very small but frustrating part of him

would do it all again if it meant that Alpine would be in his life

it scared him and he hated that part of him

the part that was okay hurting people as long as Alpine was in his life one way or another

it was this type of thought that would cause Bucky to fear that the Winter Soldier still remained within him

despite everything he had done and all the help he had received, no matter how many therapy sessions he went to or how many people he apologised to

he still thought of himself as a monster

and he wasn't sure he'd think of himself any other way

which is why, on the days leading up to the first father's day they would celebrate together

Bucky avoided Alpine

she was livid

normally, she could just walk into his apartment

unafraid of him kicking her out, or of him attacking her out of pure instinct

she knew he wouldn't hurt her on purpose

or at least, she thought he wouldn't

so when she skipped across the hall, put her hand on the handle to twist and push it open, only the faceplant into the locked door

she was fuming

"JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES"

was her nose bleeding?

oh most definitely

after going back into her own apartment to stuff her nose full of tissues, she steps back out into the hall, knocking on the door

once

twice

thrice

"Bucky? You in there old man?"

silence

honestly, this man

she checks her phone in case he had gone on a mission late last night but normally he'd wake her

he knows she worries about him

when three more knocks went unanswered, she called Sam

he hadn't heard from him either

but he had heard that Bucky asked for an emergency therapy session

which surprised her because Bucky HATED going to those

"Sam, I'm real worried. His door is locked, LOCKED! I'm just looking for the spare key now then i can-"

"Hey, you still haven't gotten him a father's day present, why don't you run into the city today and see what you can get? I'll meet you later on, I just need to do something first."

she wasn't stupid

she knew what Sam was doing

she knew what he was thinking

Bucky had relapsed

impossible

Bucky would not have relapsed, not after everything that had happened with Zemo and the flag-smashers

after all the stress he had been through in those first few months of them meeting, everything that happened with Yori...

no

Bucky Barnes had not relapsed

he just needed some time to himself

to be reminded of who he was

and who he wasn't

what he wasn't

"Alpine? Al, you there kid?"

"Yeah! Sorry! I just panicked for a minute because I totally forgot i hadn't got him a present, thanks for the reminder. You'll check in on him right? Before you come and meet me?"

she could feel Sam's tension be released when she responded

"Yeah, yeah. You know, he's probably just being a little princess, jealous of all the time we're spending together. You know how much of a drama queen he can be."

Alpine can't smile at the joke

not when she knows it's only there to try and trick her into a false sense of relief

no, she wasn't stupid.

but she'd play the part anyway.

"Tell me about it, never thought I'd see a 106 year old super soldier be jealous of little ol' me, guess I'm just that amazing"

they say goodbye and Alpine takes one last glance at Bucky's door

worth a try

"Buck... I don't know if you can hear me, you might be in your room. If you are then you know, fuck you for making me talk to myself."

on the other side of the door, Bucky smiles

"I just... I want you to know that you're okay... and it's okay to not be okay... but you are. I know you are. Whatever this is, it'll pass and you'll work through it because you're James fucking Barnes and..." She pauses for a second because jesus christ

she is deadass about to tell Bucky she loves him

that he is her family

that he is her hero

that she would do anything for him

but she can't

because she would actually die of embarrassment

Alpine is not good at emotions

"a-and so, get your shit together, because i'm not giving up until you remember that James Barnes ain't no ones bitch!"

with that she very quickly leaves because ew, emotions

Bucky can't help but smile at her words of encouragement as he listens to the sounds of her footsteps getting further away, the elevator dinging as it opens for her, the almost silent, barely there sob that leaves her mouth as those same doors close

it's an hour later that he breaks out of the shock he was in when Sam knocks on the door, frantically calling for Bucky to open the goddamn door

he does and can't even register that Sam is furious with him for going no contact with both him and Alpine for two days

and Bucky stands there and takes the verbal abuse

because he made her cry

and he deserves Sam's angry shouts

and he needs him to knock some sense into him

because if Bucky knew one thing after hours of torturing himself with hateful thoughts

it was that he never wanted to be the reason for Alpine's tears

ever again

Now, Alpine hadn't meant to cry

in fact she was pretty sure that the last time she cried at something not induced by stress or laughing to hard

she was a child

back at home with... them

and she will be damned if she ever cried about anything not stress induced ever again

so in the short elevator ride to the lobby of their building, she had straightened herself out, wiped her tears and faced the city with a determined attitude

she would find Bucky a present that reminded him of who he was

she had introduced him to a lot of things in the 21st century

but nothing seemed to connect

that was until they watched The Hobbit, of course Alpine ended up falling asleep and Bucky stayed up like an actual maniac to watch all the movies in a span of 9+ hours (with bathroom breaks, he was sure he could have binged it but he also wanted to put Alpine to bed, so ended up having to pause it just to tuck her into his bed before returning to finish the movies)

She had heard Sam say that Bucky had claimed to have read the book when it first came out

when she heard that, she'd been looking at trying to get a first edition book for her dear friend and father figure

keeping tabs and making friends with local antique bookshop owners just to be able to get a chance.

what harm would it do to do the rounds whilst she brain stormed some other ideas for him

on her trip, she'd managed to get a few books she thought he'd might like

the harry potter series, eragon, the lion, the witch and the wardrobe

she would spoil him with love and affection (a very different route to Sam who was cursing Bucky out at this point)

the first few shops had unfortunately been duds in her search for the first edition Hobbit book, and she had started debating on just getting him a newer version of the series until the last shop she walked in

"Ah! I was just about to call you missy! I have that booked you've been looking for!"

She could have screamed

she did scream

so loud the other patrons thought she was actually getting stabbed

"NO YOU DON'T!"

she couldn't believe her luck! on the day she truly really needed it, she had found a first edition book, one exactly like the one Bucky would have owned

the yellowing pages, hardback cover, faded title

used, loved, a timeless piece of history

sure the pages were slightly ripped, it had very obviously been well loved but still preserved

as she looked through the pages, she smiles at the pencil marks - whoever had this book must have loved it

the only issue was the price

"$200?! I can't persuade you to lower that?"

"It's a rare collectable my dear, if you don't get it now, someone else will."

Alpine had the money

she had savings for rainy days and emergency funds just in case the worst happened

again, she wasn't stupid

but $200 on a book?

she sighed once again, flicking through the pages

could she really justify spend-

hold on a hot damn second

was that

she frowns, looking at the faded hand written ink

"Sorry, can I borrow your glasses?"

the old bookstore owner nods, allowing the girl to use the glasses to look at the name handwritten on the cover page

'PROPERTY OF James Buchanan Barnes'

Alpine had never handed money over so fast

out of all the first edition books to get, she had managed to somehow find Bucky's copy

it belonged to him and she would have sold her entire soul to the devil just to be able to get that man his own property back

she had to get back to him

father's day was in a couple of days but this discovery could not wait and if Bucky Barnes had his door locked still then Alpine was grabbing the emergency axe in the hall way to smash that mans door down

she never ran faster in her life

that was a lie (but a story for another time)

by this point, it had been a fair few hours.

Sam had been and gone, having knocked some sense into Bucky before leaving to report that he had in fact NOT relapsed into the Winter Soldier

Now, the grumpy old man waited outside his apartment for Alpine to get back, sighing and huffing with every minute that passed, pacing back and forth, watching the elevator move between floors

he had heard the door to the stairs slam open, the panting and gasping before the rapid footsteps and a frantic

"BUCKY!"

He turned, running down the hallway and crashing into the young girl, grabbing her and stabling them as he hugged her

"Al, I'm so sorry kid. I can't explain what happened, but I promise I will never-"

"Bucky shut up and listen to me."

fucking

rude

he frowns at her, like the fucking audacity

"I'm trying to apologise for being a jackass here."

"Oh, well in that case- carry on mr i'm going to ignore my best friend in the entire world."

"I heard you crying-"

"Oh fucking ew never mind."

he sighs, grabbing her face gently in his hands as she tries to full away because ew fucking emotions

he smiles at her, watching as she relaxes, confusion on her face before her breathe hitches when he places a gentle and very hesitant kiss on her head

"Al, I can't promise that something like that will never happen again, because my brain is messed up, I'm messed up" He shushes her when she tries to interrupt him, smiling at her

"But, I can promise, that as soon as I come out of that.. place.. I will make it up to you in every way possible. You, my annoying little neighbour, are one of the best things that's ever happened to me and I'll be damned if i ever make you cry again. If I do, you can beat me to a pulp."

they both laugh because Alpine can't fight for shit

she wouldn't even know where to start

"Can I make you watch Real Housewives instead?"

"Anything you want."

They definitely spend about ten minutes just hugging each other

they spent two whole days apart, these touch starved babies are desperate just to know that they still have each other

Eventually, they move to Bucky's apartment, deciding that they deserved a good movie night and they still had to watch the Jurassic Park and Jurassic World franchise (they'd been putting it off for a few weeks because Bucky wasn't convinced that a movie on dinosaurs would be something he was interested in - but Alpine seemed to enjoy it_

Alpine had managed to get distracted by the dinos, laughing and letting Bucky know of the inaccuracies of the franchise

Bucky had managed to calm down, keeping an arm around Alpine, not wanting to let her go just yet, still feeling awful about having made her cry

it wasn't until Bucky mentioned that he did enjoy the fantasy side of the franchise that Alpine gasped and sat up straight from leaning on Bucky

he frowns and watched her as she runs to her bag dumped by the door

he was going to her a coat rack just so she'd stop dumping her coat and bags on the floor as soon as she got in

"Were you in here, when I spoke to you through the door?"

Bucky glances at her

"Depends, do you want me to have been here?"

Alpine thinks back and then nods, "For the last part"

Bucky grins, "Bucky Barnes ain't no ones bitch?"

Alpine grins back, "Bucky Barnes is his own bitch, with his own bitchin' thoughts and his own personality and likes and dislikes'" she nods firmly grabbing the book from her bag

"And, Bucky Barnes, has his own goddamn property back."

she holds it out to him and he pauses, eyebrows furrowed before he takes the book

"Al, you didn't have to-"

"Shut up, and open it. Cover page."

he does and he freezes

this was the book he had shipped over from Britain when it first came out

this was the book that he read at night

this was the book he reread for months

this was the book he left behind when he was sent over to Britain for active duty

this was HIS book

his past

his memories

his handwriting

it had survived all these years

it had survived and somehow so had he

and as he looks at Alpine, who was nervously ranting about how she just saw it and knew he had to have it back, how it was a father's day present albeit early

he knew he was going to be okay, just as she had said

If a piece of his past had managed to survive this long without being put on display in a glass case in a museum, without being caged or made to do something other than it's purpose

then he can continue to heal outside of influence of third parties

she's still ranting as he stands, making his way over to her and wrapping her in his arms, holding her tightly, his flesh hand delicately running through her hair as his tears build

he forces them back, not wanting to panic his neighbour turned daughter

he feels her arms hesitantly wrap around his waist, though she's still tense

one day he'll find out why, he'll find out her real name and he'll help her heal like she had him (more than she would ever truly know)

but for now, he'll cherish the relationship he shares with Alpine, and he'll celebrate every father's day with her, with no worries on whether or not he deserves to have this

because one thing is for sure

Alpine does not care whether or not Bucky Barnes deserves her affection, she want's to give it and that's what she will do. Whether he likes it or not (spoiler alert - he loves it and he loves her)

"So if we could spend next years father's day not in a maybe kind of argument that would be great, because this was a really emotionally exhausting day and I don't think we need to do this type of thing for a hot while."

"Of course. If Sam asks, Father's day was better than mother's day."

"Sure, sure, so long as you say I found that book in a dump because i spent maybe $30 on Sam and $200 is a lot more."

Bucky laughs and nods before processing her words

"$200?!"

and as Bucky tightened their hug and Alpine started nervously laughing and trying to get away from him to avoid this punishment (is it really though?)

neither one of them would rather be anywhere else