#i cant stop fucking thinking abt it theres so many things i want that are on the other side of an unbridgeable chasm. and might be forever

[motherforthefamicom]

trying to find some oldass drawings of one of my first sonas i havent been able to find em yet but instead ive just been unearthing all these old notes an ex friend and i would pass to each other back in middle school

[toastsnaffler]

was gonna say smth else but this turned into a vent sorry everyone just ignore. typical weekend post on this blog u know how it is here we go👍

[nomairuins]

i do need 2 work on rewiring my brain so that my immediate very first thought whenever i dont do a small task (like brushing ny teeth taking a shower picking up my room etc) isnt 'We Should Kill Connor ." this would be pretty good for me to do. putting this on the list

[showtoonzfan]

Just want to preface this by saying i love ur analysis sm- u put my exact thoughts into words when i cant verbalise whats wrong with a particular writing decision 🥲🥲

Anyway, smth ive noticed is how... little time vivzie actually spends on writing or characterizing or fleshing out her characters.

Which has to be the weirdest thing so far bc every writer and artist ive met agree that its the best part of making an oc! Its so fun to think of backstories and tie that into their current personality and generally just figuring out random details to get to know your characters!

Like, my ocs are my best friends, i know everything abt them from their trauma and childhoods, to their favourite food and music.

But time and time again she proves that her characters are at best acquaintances... the fandom fleshes out the characters so well and with so much love and care and thought that vivzie herself cant do and its just sad.

Not even mentioning the hundreds of retcons and how characters will just change personality randomly or act out of character which results in the work feeling like a fanfic of itself. (Ironic considering some fanfics have better and more consistent characterisation)

It feels like shes making it up as she goes, instead of having an actual plan. Just shoving random ideas she likes or picks up from the much more creative fandom into the 2 shows without actually stopping and thinking abt the consequences or implications.

Theres so many decisions shes made that irk me so bad... the ideas individually have potential but they either dont fit the show or have to make huge retcons and result in the plot not making any sense.

Also, ngl but she has the worst case of tell dont show ive ever seen my god 😭😭 like... you realise you have to show things instead of just fucking singing it or having a character say it??? Or is that another thing that the fandom has to do so they can convince themselves that the show has good characters??

Atp idk how to salvage the show... i keep finding more and more plotholes and unless i literally turn my brain off and only focus on haha funny dick joke or pwetty colors, these questions keep popping into my head making it a painful unenjoyable experience.

Again, if the fandom has to justify your bad nonsensical hypocritical worldbuilding then you failed. Massively.

Anyway im very sleepy rn just wanted to rant a bit bc im a writer and artist myself and it pisses me off how someone gets their show on the air and still doesnt care abt putting in effort into their plot or characters beyond aesthetics and random ideas that dont go well together...

You’re speaking facts! And it’s honestly like..kinda funny too that people who have their own OC’s can flesh them out and deep dive into their arcs/backstories ect, yet a professional showrunner who’s had these characters for YEARS can’t even give the majority of her characters flaws or quirks, or even consistency, same goes for Helluva Boss.

Viv is a really good example at letting inspired writers know what not to do when making a story and characters so at least they have that lol.

[sukunasweetheart]

Headcanons for sukuna as a volleyball player - idk if i wanted this to be set during highschool or not so i guess it'll be kinda generic or all over the place haha,, dedicated to @luvkun4 my love, who likes haikyuu and sukuna so its a perfect combo for her

warnings; NSFW, throat fucking, rough and angry sex, degradation, femme reader, youre kinda his pocket pu$$y but also his sweet gf, minor angst but with happy end -- this wouldve been a good fic but i dont have the energy for a fully written fic nowadays, im alr working on a billion rn

edit; THIS ENDED UP BEING SO LENGTHYY sorry, i wanted to add in the drama

right.. idk from where i should unpack this

we all know... sukuna would be competitive as fuck.

i know for a fact that he hates losing so much

which is what makes him such a good player tbh, the balls not gonna touch the ground as long as hes around

he’s a wing spiker, and definitely the ace (cough, totally not inspired by this gorgeous fanart)

hes so mean and arrogant but is willing to demonstrate teamwork in order to win and so theres obvious respect between him and his teammates

uraume is the manager, tho its clear that they favour sukuna the most pff

sukunas such a powerful player, no one can beat him one on one and hes so sexy when hes playing seriously

volleyball sukuna and his fuckin horse cock, u bet u wanna get wrecked by his shii

problem is, i cant find a creative way of how yall first met 

idk, probably through mutual friends, out in a big group at a restaurant ?? maybe you hooked up with him afterwards and you both caught feelings for each other

yeah something along those lines

anyway ofc seggs after matches are a regular thing haha

its almost an expectation that you come to see his games now

here comes the smut smut smut

vb sukuna would totally drag you into the unisex bathrooms so you can “help him relax” right before the game starts...

nothing like cumming down your throat to get him all warmed up

and youre such a whore for him, you can never say no bc YOU DONT WANT TOOO <3

even tho you make a fuss about the icky floor pfft, he grunts and lays a bunch of toilet paper for u to kneel on, what a gentleman

his soft groans as he lodges his thick cock into your warm mouth, and then pushing your head down to go even deeper

the pleasures just too great, the thrilling mixture of being in a public toilet right before a big match, fucking your tight throat raw

and your teary eyes, fluttering your lashes up at him with a mouthful of dick, he could laugh from how adorable you look

after hes done spurting stringy thick ropes of his seed down your esophagus hes just: “thanks babe... you sucked the nerves right outta me.”

and you know its bullshit bc hes smirking in that sarcastic way, and its a fact that sukuna doesnt know what it feels to be nervous!!!

lucky for you, he treats you better than anyone else - he wipes your mouth and kisses you before parting ways with you

likes to give you another smirk once he finds you amongst the audience

its crazy how much energy he still has after games

on the rare occasions when his team loses... oh boy

100% takes his frustration out using sex

just thinking abt the simmering anger...practically throws you onto his bed

pins your body down and slamming into you with his whole body weight

ruins you so bad, bruises and bites literally everywhere

but like... you’re into that shit

butterflies in stomach whenever the other team ends up winning

“ugh...fuckin’ squeezing me like that... you don’t want me to stop, do you?”

“maybe you like it when i lose a game. what a whore.”

“sukuna...sukuna, too bi-big..”

“oh? and you’d think this cunt would be pretty used to it by now,” he responds cockily. it turns you on when he uses such vulgar language.

spills so many loads into you, youre like a cream filled donut by the end

spanks you too, handprints on your ass and all - omg imagine the strength as a vb player

the aftercare is nice, usually he brings you to the bath immediately and check you out if you need ointment applied to your skin or vice versa

but it wouldnt be surprising if he got lazy with it on some days, especially after an exhausting game, having sex on top of that is gotta be tough

also he spends a lot of time training and practicing, which adds to your loneliness

sometimes you overthink it and feel like youre just being used, but instead of communicating it, you just act more sensitively around him

and vb sukuna sucks at picking up the small cues, so he just thinks youre being unreasonable

the two of you get into a pretty heated argument which ends with you storming off one time

theres a bit of silent treatment going on, but then afterwards you start talking with him “normally” again

theres an obvious distance growing between you and him, and your attitude is colder than it used to be. sukuna thinks its something thatll pass sooner or later

but then you text him, saying that you wont be able to come and see his game

thats not right. hes had a few fights with you before, but you’ve never skipped out on coming to watch him like this, ever.

but being a prideful tsundere he is, he just replies with a “do whatever you want” before chucking his phone off to the side (which he checks later again, to see if you said anything more after that. you didnt.)

on the day of the match, hes constantly checking the crowd if youre there

its not like *glance* he cares *glance* about you coming *glance* or anything *glance*

his mates raise eyebrows and tell him to focus properly and hes never looked scarier lmao

they won in the end, but the taste of victory isnt the same

the group wants to celebrate and go to some restaurant to eat but he skips out and goes home alone

and when he opens his door to an empty and dark living room, he cant shake off the feeling of uneasiness in the pit of his stomach

totally doesnt google search “signs of an incoming breakup”

feels worse afterwards

eats a nice and nutritious meal he cooked for himself, but it tastes kinda like cardboard

i said previously that sukuna doesnt know what feeling nervous is, but now he does, hes terrified youre gonna pull the breakup card on him, he wont know how to deal with that

he has a feeling that if he doesnt do something about this now, he will lose his chance forever

sukuna calls you but you dont pick up

he finds his way to your front door and rings the bell, and you call out from the other side asking him what he wants from you

“why didnt you pick up any of my calls? i want to talk.”

he hates how whiny he sounds.

you crack open the door ever so slightly, so only one of your eyes are visible to him

“about what?”

“about... this. about us.”

“...you’ve been crying. let me in.”

he gently pushes open your door and you stand out of the way, letting him

...and he starts with an apology. about saying mean things to you during the argument, about acting like he doesnt care when he does (he cares so much abt you that it drives him mad), pretending not to notice how upset you were

you watch him sternly, but end up bursting into tears bc youre so relieved he came out and admitted to his faults, and that theres hope for this relationship

youre bawling as he pulls you into his arms, and you confess that not going to see him and treating him coldly was the hardest thing youve ever done in your life

sukunas so relieved you still feel deeply for him, and simultaneously upset bc youre upset

you reveal that youve been feeling neglected, feeling like he only liked you for your body, and you too, apologise for not communicating that and acting sensitively instead

hes appalled, calls you an idiot but then retracts that statement and denies ever having thought in that way

the two of you snuggle up so close together in your bed, communicating and chatting and catching up for hours while he occasionally eyes the mountain of used tear-filled tissues in your room, rather concerned

for a while, he doesnt initiate sexual activity unless you specifically want it bc he wants to prove he likes spending quality time with you just as much <3

and when sex does eventually happen, he makes it very romantic and meaningful, with proper aftercare, continuously whispering “i love you,” throughout

and he shall do anything to have you keep loving him back.

some general stuff with vb sukuna:

mad tall. i wont give an exact number but anywhere between 195 - 200cm tall :>

mad horny. hes like an animal

hes such a big eater,, i mean, i see sukuna as a big eater in any au but this one in particular bc hes an athlete haha

u probably make protein shakes for him and stuff, but hes not rly on a strict diet or anything, he just eats anything and everything

has a lotta fangirls >:( but he ignores them now, after he met you >:) but before, he probably played around a lot and hooked up with some >:( he never liked any of them to stick around, tho >:) except you >:)

goes on morning runs, at like 6am and gives u a kiss on the cheek beforehand

is so fucking touchy clingy, always needs you on his lap, hands under your skirt or shirt

the last guy who tried to hit on you got a nosebleed, getting hit with a volleyball (its so funny, he changed his aim mid-spike during a practice match)

haha he was sent to the bench for that one (everyone was chuckling behind their hands)

the headband was given to him by you, bc he once complained abt having to gel his hair every morning + gel doesnt keep his hair in shape when hes sweating excessively

thats all for today <3 thanks for reading

Masterlist

tagging; @yuujispinkhair @moonchild-artemisdaughter @skunaskitten

[h4venpha]

↳ 𝐁𝐋𝐋𝐊 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒' 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐒:

with… nagi seishirou, kunigami rensuke, reo mikage, chigiri hyoma

idk abt part two yet ^^

NAGI SEISHIROU: quality time

- nagi isnt much of a talker, so no words of affection. hes lazy, so not acts of service. quality time just fits so well because ?? its effortless, anything else is just a hassle for him (/hj)

- he enjoys lazy days where he can just sit around with you, watch tv or just stay in bed all day long. its simple and he enjoys your company

- a comfortable silence is often created during these lazy days. he’s on his phone laying in your lap while youre on yours or youre watching the television or something. theres no need for interactions or talking in general

- (i wanna mention the nagi episode manga chapter where nagi’s eyes literally start glowing when reo tells him he likes being around him) nagi honestly thinks he’s boring, like he will literally admit it. he thinks hes a boring person and he doesnt think anyone really wants to be around him

- so when you ask him to just lay around all day with you hes like, “…really? is it okay?”

- and so many days end up as lazy days. quiet, relaxed days where neither of you have to talk much, its just being around each other, enjoying and accepting each others company

KUNIGAMI RENSUKE (pre-wildcard): acts of service

- regardless of how strong or tall you are, kunigami willing to do anything for you just because he can

- “oh you cant reach this? i got it for you, here!” or “you need to move this? let me help, y/n!”

- not only is it because hes more than capable of helping out, but because he thinks its considerate and attentive.

- he’s all sweet smiles whenever you ask for help, especially when you can’t reach something. 6 foot and two fucking inches and he practically towers over you (at least he does for me), and so whenever you have to stand on your tip toes to reach for something, he always notices. He walks up behind you with a small smile as he watches you struggle.

- and you dont even notice until his deep voice booms from behind you, it almost surprises you. and he’s reaching up, arm extending over your fucking head, to grab what you need. when he hands it to you, there’s a sweet, almost amused look on his face. of course he can’t help but tease a little bit. but before he walks away, he leans down, eye to eye with you, and pats your head as a you’re welcome

REO MIKAGE: gift giving, words of affection

- ive spoken briefly about my headcanon of giving gifts to words of affection reo

- i feel like his entire life growing up, he was bought things as a form of “love”, so really thats all he knew

- you have to sit down with him and tell him that although you appreciate it, he doesnt have to buy you the world.

- you simply teach him that theres so much more to showing love than buying things

- reo ends up learning from what you taught him. BUT not only does he continue to give you gifts, he includes small love letters along with them.

- a bouquet of fresh, colorful roses with a small white envelope tucked into the flowers with a little message.

- messages like: for my precious! <3 if you were a flower i’d pick you!

CHIGIRI HYOMA: acts of service, physical touch

- pushing the male wife chigiri agenda AGAIN !! (dedicated to puriiii <3)

- now normally, chigiri could give less of a fuck about what other people need/want. hes the type of guy who walks past someone who dropped something bc literally hes like “uh. whatever…” like they can pick it back up themself, he quite literally just does not give a shit

- but the moment you need something, he is ON IT. it doesnt matter how big or small, whether you need a tissue or you’d like some water, hes literally rushing to get it

- immediately stopping whatever he was doing to jump up and get what you need

- speedy little man has it for you in 0.5 seconds

- its nothing too complicated, just “oh my lover needs something, so i’ll get it right away”

- now physical touch. i dont mean like, absolutely smothering you all the time like nagi’s headcanons. i mean like, touches that leave you with shivers

- he’s trying to get around you for something or he’s passing by and his slender fingers end up ghosting lightly at your waist or hips (bonus points if you have some kind of cropped shirt on…he knows exactly what he’s doing when he intentionally slips his cold fingers against your warm skin)

[cosmicdream222]

sorry to be morbid again but do you think we can manifest passing away early? im honestly past the point of wanting to exist and just want to get over this thing that im supposed to be a successful person but im not so idrc if i do or dont live

so many ppl on tarot related blogs ask about their fs but if we dont meet them does it matter and would they just move on with their life? like i think u have to have ur life put together but its genuinely so hard to do these days so i hope my fs wont be sad at all when i die cause i wouldnt be able to make tnem truly happy anyway cause im not happy myself with how things have been

ideally i wouldve done something in a sport or music but that ship sailed long ago and now im so stuck but id hate to be reliant on someone else and i shouldve moved out into my own place but housing is ridiculously expensive where im from and taxes dont help anyone. it takes years and years to pick up a talent so i have wasted those years and ik im just going to struggle to get past 50 if i were to have my own place bc minimum wage jobs suck arse and i dont want to be doinng something lame not that its lame for others to do it, its just not what i wanted to have done at all

you cant even get a degree without needing to fork out hundreds and thousands so yeah none of its easy and sure you can try subliminals but lets face it the systemn we are in is fucked up big time so rn i cant even bother with daydream about how it could have been or the what ifs i had done smth differently or if i had any talent but then theres still the, im too old and too foreign to do any sort of music as most successful groups nowadays are korean and even if i tried to do what they did it would probs end up killing me some way or other

its just either about having to be wealthy or having some type of talent both of which id fail at anyway as i shouldve done it years ago like a normal person who goes from being so so at something to being great at something.

i truly think i was born in wrong generation or i just shouldnt have been born at all then i wouldnt have to fret constantly abt these types of things. i think if the government genuinely sorted shit out for once and helped society ppl would be happier to work for less but im not happy at all with the current state of things. i feel guilty for existing and i hate it sm like god just let me end my life pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee there is nothing worthwhile in store, ik we could try shifting subliminals but have those genuinely worked? like u exit this reality and straight into the one you wanted originally? but then i might as well just pass away cause id have to know what i want in another reality

My dude, take a deep breath. You’ve ranted about all this same exact stuff a bunch of times now and I’m just gonna repeat the same thing I said to you last time:

All of that stuff you mentioned about your current reality is an illusion. Time is an illusion. It does not matter what you’ve done in the past. The economy does not matter. Your present circumstances do not matter.

I’ll add to that: Whatever some tarot reader or TikTok psychic says definitely does not matter. Idk what fs means but I’m guessing something like a twin flame and that is especially 1000% bullshit.

The spiritual community has created an incredible amount of false narratives to make excuses and blame outside forces for why things aren’t going their way. None of it is real. Seriously forget everything you learned about fate, karma, astrology, or anything else that’s saying something else is in control. Reality is an illusion. YOU are in control.

You don’t have to identify with any old bullshit anymore. Stop repeating the old story and think about what you do want. You can have literally ANYTHING! You say you don’t know what you want, ok, but you know what you don’t want, right?

I don’t want to work -> I want to live in a reality where I don’t have to work.

There, you just figured out something you want! It’s that simple.

I totally agree that this society is a horrific shitshow and I don’t want to be aware of it anymore either. But it’s just one version of reality available. It’s not the only reality and it’s not the original reality. You don’t have to be aware of it anymore if you don’t want to be.

You also don’t have to involve death at all. There’s a lot of misconception in the shifting world which has lead to concepts like “permashifting” and “respawning”, but those just all assume this current reality is the original one. It’s not.

Have you watched The Matrix? It’s really more like a documentary than science fiction lol. Just like in the movie, we are being tricked by a simulated virtual reality, controlled by a society that’s using us for our energy. Just think of reality as an escape room. We’re escaping the Matrix. Once you figure out how to leave, you don’t ever have to go back. There are infinite realities available to you, and none are more real or right or original than any others. Remember, death is not an ultimate, nor does it exist in all realities.

I am scripting a utopian reality with my best friend where there is no death, aging, or illness. Everyone is a master manifestor so they always get whatever they want. Nobody has to work and there isn’t even a need for money because we can manifest anything instantly. We can just relax and get massages all day. Everyone lives in peace and harmony and abundance. Animals are treated as equals to humans, we can all communicate with each other, and we can all fly and teleport. Because why the f not? 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

And if you really don’t want to exist (I’m guessing that other ask from a couple weeks ago is you too lol) you don’t have to exist in this reality, or any other. Removing your awareness from all physical reality is known as entering the void. You exist there as pure consciousness, and you can stay there as long as you like. It is you as your highest self. There’s nothing negative about it.

As for the whole subliminal thing, shifting subliminals are just one method. Shifting = manifesting = deciding what you want and experiencing it. It’s something we are always doing and is available to all of us. You don’t need any methods to shift besides intention. We just use methods to convince/calm the annoying human brain that is programmed with society’s limits.

[unhingedkinfessions]

so like. we're in this discord server and its p sick lol theres not many issues with it tbh but there is smth thats been botherin me and ive gotta get it out somewhere so that i dont feel like an asshole for sayin it in the server itself its very 'kin focused, a lot of ppl in the server are otherkin. so we have a channel for ppl to talk about 'kin stuff. only issue is that its open to anyone who joins the server. which wouldnt be an issue if we didnt have the occasional person join whos a 'normie' and then they automatically have access to the kin channel. we're also all very anti-kff and are very open abt how those ppl arent welcome in our space and are fine with explainin the dif if needed this is context needed for what imma talk abt lol so theres this guy in the server, we'll call him G, and he's just some dude who is in the server and exists in our space. which is totes fine. but. G has a bad bad habit of thinking that being kin = relating to a character/having a comfort character. and we (several members of the server + the owner) have explained that he is wrong several times. he asks what 'kinning' is and we explain. we explain at least once a week atp but for some reason, it just isnt clickin for the guy. that or he is blatantly ignorin us anytime we explain it. but the thing is. he blames not understandin on his autism/adhd. which is genuinely the most bullshit thing ive ever heard bc like. most of us HAVE autism/adhd and we're like... come on dude.... i understand not gettin social norms and shit but at this point, its gettin absurd. it doesnt help that he also blatantly ignores ppl's boundaries and continues to post things that make ppl uncomfortable and then once again, blaming his neurodivergence for his actions. which again. most bullshit thing ive ever heard. i genuinely dont know why this fucker is still in the server atp. he doesnt respect any of us. he's even gone as far as to try and use tupperbox (which we have for system + kin use) for his 'fandoms' as he says. and then ignoring when i told him that he's NOT ALLOWED to do this. genuinely i cannot fucking stand this guy and i want him out of the server because fuck him. if you cant respect our space or us you can get the fuck out. stop acting like you're kin when you say you dont even know what being kin means. stop ignoring us when we try to explain it to you. stop acting like you're absolved from any repercussions just bc you're autistic and downt undewstand uwu fuckin. shut the hell up dude i hate your bitchass. petition for the server owner to ban his ass the next time he says some stupid bullshit

also ik someone from said server follows this blog so hiiii if u see this <333 ik u agree with me bc weve talked abt it before <3333 love you dude /p ur so cool

girl what the fuck

ruling:

[starscelly]

i have to stars rant i fear. defensive musing (read: complaints) below.

there are many things to be said abt the stars defense. but one of the ones that fucking Gets Me the most is like.... okay yes ryan suter hater 4 life whatever. but it doesnt even make SENSE to have him and miro on the same pairing. like it just makes 0 fucking sense to me. no i dont think nils is the best player he could be and yes i wish they had been able to just send him to the ahl so he could develop like harls got the chance to. HOWEVER. hes not an objectively abysmal player compared to suter. yes my ideal pairing with this current godforsaken selection is miro-harls because. well. i have eyes and access to moneypuck dot com.

but i also acknowledge that leaves one of the pairings FUCKED with the remaining options. i would not rely on suter to carry nils or vice versa. also it still leaves miro on his offside. so i actually dont want them consistently paired at all if theres better options!

which there is.

if nils and suter are equally struggling. why cant we just give nils the top line minutes. we've seen suter play stronger when his icetime is limited (which makes sense! hes fucking old!!) and i genuinely think more ice time will be so beneficial to nils' development, since they can't just send him down. AND if nils is making mistakes they can be less detrimental with miro there, and miro will be on his strong side. for the first time in fucking years. i know, i know he can handle playing on the right side. but think about how fucking crazy he would be if he finally got a chance on his left.

as pdb-and-current-coaches-in-general positive as i am i also acknowledge that the way they use miro is fucking abysmal. i talk abt it. a lot. i hate that theyre wasting some really good years from him by just making him cover for the defensive mistakes of everyone around him. every year it's "well why isnt our miro a norris contender? this is offensive!" from the org while they're actively doing everything to stop his opportunities to be one. other than ice time. which is harmful in its own unique way!

basically. please purchase a shiny new rhd and put nils with miro in the meantime. xoxoxo

[everynya]

one thing abt me is that i love rambling abt emi and nayla in long posts…. ha ha ha ha again! (nat can only rant every 2-3 months or smth) as always chat u can learn abt them here

i think a lot about how they are when it comes to what they enjoy and do. this post gives a good insight into them as ppl i believe

emihiko is very passionate, he puts a lot into what he loves and hes open about it. he likes everything, hes able to appreciate anything despite it not being something he may have chosen or is his favorite thing or even knows much about, but if he loves something he pours all of himself in it

sure he likes everything, but he doesnt love just anything…once he finds what he loves he sticks to it with so much need for it to be part of his life… his hobbies mean a lot to him, his friends are people he always treasures, etc he almost picks and chooses what he puts energy into, and if he loves smth he will put parts of himself into loving that

he works hard for things, because he loves them. its genuine, he doesnt see any waste in stuff like his music because why is there any loss in doing something you enjoy?

nayla on the other hand, has never really grasped doing things with passion. he doesnt like many things, and the things he likes are because they have been put in front of him to like them. he mostly doesnt like things, especially things he cannot emotionally grasp or understand.

nayla will begin to like something if its a constant in her life, if its something almost…familiar. growing up in a home where she was only permitted to do what her parents wanted her to do and needing to please them, theres a difference between the need to please and the actual desire to please. maybe you need to please your parents, but you dont try to. for nayla, she needs and wants to please them and she does at the cost of many things.

he doesnt simply enjoy things, he has to find purpose and reason to do them. hes one of those people whos good at pretty much anything, but he holds no enjoyment in it. reading is just to pass time, singing is just his career, cooking is out of necessity, etc etc. he cant name his favorite things, and even when he can he doubts himself.

they both indulge and enjoy things very differently, and they each teach one another how to do so. emihiko is the only reason nayla begins to try new things, pulled out of his comfort zone. nayla is the only reason emihiko begins to think more past ‘i like this’ to things and questions if theyre good for him to like or not. it doesnt make him think if nayla is good for him though, and nayla doesnt bother after several instances to stop emihiko from bothering him

probably makes one question how they like each other, was nayla forced to because emihiko became a constant persistence? did emihiko know this and take advantage of it? does emihiko love nayla just because he simply does and has no real or genuine grasp past that of him as a person and is blinded by the need to be loved and validated? does emihiko pour all of himself fruitlessly into a person?

…dunno! tis a mystery. but theres weird and fucked up layers somewhere in there and there always has been. someday my freak nation i shall show u that i am indeed insane

anyway theyre so cute! and silly! this is so them!

[funkii-fox]

ohmygosh i know EXACTLY who ur talking abt on that post with the self shipping hater and like mlm and wlw is better. they get on my nerves SO BAD like ive known them since 2021 or 2022 methinks but i have them blocked cuz no way u can say all that. french people amiright/j

BAHAHA well idk if u actually do, but thank god someone knows my struggle. I cant believe half the shit i read from his texts and stories bruh. Like okay buddy 👁️👄👁️

I feel like after a certain point, if an overwhelming majority of ppl dislike u, even within ur own community, even among ur closest friends, thats when u fail. Thats when u do introspection. Theres always haters trying to drag u down, but this guy has so many ppl that rightfully dislikes him for every single controversy hes ever gotten into. How is everyone else on the Earth wrong and ur the only one thats right?

And this guy knows hes abt to lose me too. Once i made a kinda vent post tht said “demons in my head: leave them before they can leave you”. It was more like a self deprecating meme, and it abt two unrelated moots. But this guy was so insecure and thought it was abt him. And every time i put a vague negative thing on my status like “wtf is wrong w this guy” he always asks abt who the note was abt, probably bc he suspects it’s abt him. Idk tho. Now that i think abt it he could be asking bc hes into drama

See, this guy is so misogynist and “ugh women this” but he LOVES drama and gossip, just like women stereotypically do. He HATES tucutes “grr bruja ari this” but his main oc looks like a girl “hes androgynous” bffr. He hates on women that self ship w ocs but he makes ocs 😭 this guy is the most giant fucking hypocrite I’ve ever seen bro

Recently he got mad at a reel in his feed and put it on his story. This reel was abt someone saying theyre only into autistic ppl, and my first thought was “same ngl there’s something wrong w neurotypicals” but this guy’s first thought was “HURRR DURR STOP SEXUALIZING AUTISTICS” …the ENTIRE comment section was the op fighting for their life bc theyre autistic and for some reason everyone thought they were neurotypical. And that tells me that this guy saw the post and immediately got mad and posted it to his story. Not even looking into the comments to see if his judgment was right💀

I remember he used to flirting w me. He got the fucking hint by now, but it was sooooo annoying 😭 u can tell he was hoping so bad that i would reciprocate his sexual “jokes” and it was awkward asf when i wouldn’t. I wonder if he thought he was sexy to me bc hes French. Like he assumes the accent was enough to pull me 😭 even tho ive stated a lot (not necessarily to him but in general) that im not looking for any romantic or sexual relationship w anyone rn 💀 i think the worst prt is that i dont hate sexual jokes between friends, but if i send these funny sexual memes hes gonna think i want some. Like no thanks :|

[gayspock]

yeh last one

my honest truth is i have never gone back on a thought ive had during whatever the fuck you want to call my little Moments as it were. like ive never had a screaming, crying, throw-up fit about how much i really need to hurt myself and looked back on it and thought i dont any more or regretted feeling like that. idk. embarrassment over the fact i might , when lucid enough to do so, end up going on a little whinge on here (ironically as iam now). cuz god shut up. but i dont rlly take any of that shit back ever. like i can carry that certtainty fucking with me that nothing ive ever been upset over has been something ivve come to think otherwiseon. and idk idk i say this bc idk. something something. i think abt how so often its like yeppp its a mental breakdown, but fucking is it. like is it actually. is it ever. am i irrational. i feel like the only ways in which its truly irrational isthinking it mattered enough to get that worked up in the first place like its ever going to mean something or going to be different . io genuinely wonder how many hours ive spent of my life just spiralling how its never meant anything how it keeps just getting worse how its never going to matter how much it hurts to anyone at all but me, really, how amny times have i been to the brink or tried really hard or done any number of fucking things and its never made a single difference not even slightyl for so so long. and the only thing there is between that and this is jsut pushing it forward to tomorrow and it sitll doesnt help im still not like a fucking person or whatever . i ts just been non fucking stop it never fucking stops no matter what i do or try or how long i do something or try something and people wont even believe it . youre not doing it enough youre not trying enough and you keep on doing it you keep on but more and more doors shut inyourface and you still can neverjust find anything . anything at all. not a single fucking thing even for once and youre not astrong fucking person or whatever i dont fucking know you just want to curl up and die like why do i keep doing this what difference is it ever going to make where am i going im going nowhere and who for who fucking for for ME i dont tink ive ever been worth it to anyone and certainly not to myself and even if it was i cant get anywhere and i dont think i mean anything and i dont know i keep thinking would it happen if like even/ for second to have something thats worth it for a second like o if i wasnt entirely alone if it was real if something jst. it doesnt even have to be a passion ro an interest just something that isnt fucking nothing butif you had that you wouldnt be here in the first place . thats the conceit of it. im not fucking depressed im not fucking clinically unwell im jsut a fucking useless piece of shit and no i cannot fucking cope with that its fucking horrible theres nothing and i cant manage it i cant manage being alone every wakinghour of my life i cant imagine feeling so isolated and alienated and doing things on my own i cant manage the constant fucking failures and inadequacy i cant

and i think . respectfully its fucking reasonable to want to killmyself because why why why the fuck would i want to be alive thats not a fucking chemical imbalance wat is the fucking point and theres nothing you can fucking Say to unfuck that thats the natural fucking rejection that respectfully everyone else can also fcking understand because god knows i dont know i dont know whats wrong with me or why i just cant do enough to do anything i dont fucking know i dont know why im never enough for anythingand . and what ma i trying oto prove and i dont know why it matters i dont know why i keep caring as if it fucking matters, man, thats the embarrassing thig that really is it i feel so fucking ashamed of myself because i feel liek im still setting ym expectations so so fucking hgih for myself getting upset in the fucking first place lik e come on dude its long long long past the point why come on just shut up and you know like god what are you doing iits so fucking desperate and pathetic to keep fucking going and i wish i never existed or whatever i wish or whatever ugh or whatever who saidthat oh was it me i dont fucking know i hat ebeing alone thats what i hate the most i hate how its just alwayslike this i hate being near people sometimes i hate fucking talking to people because it justfeels like everything i cant fucking manage all of the time i keep getting so so fucking upset over dumb fucking shit getting so fucking sad and jealous and miserable and its not fucking fair i jsut i dont know why eveyrone else has had something or someone even jsut once i feel like im just floating through everyone and even thats such a fucking stretch i just . i cant do it any more i feel so ugly adnd unwanted and i feel like i cant do anything to ever help it i feel like i jsutcant blamepeople i can tblame anything but myself for existing and ijust feel like the only way to fix it is out and WHATEVER

[toastsnaffler]

auuuurghhhhhhhhh.

[buradeeznuts]

ok um look at the images at the bottom first because this is an ask and i cant put them first HELP. just screenshotted the wiki since i dont feel like getting them from the game itself even if i have the costume . head in hands okay

so . for context langue de chat is a Very ambitious overachieving lawyer who takes great pride in themself but also crumbles easily under any sort of pressure or stress. This costume makes me want to gnaw on something because GOD DAMN does this tell us a lot like THEYRE A FUCKING WORKAHOLIC. BY DEFINITION. They cannot fathom NOT working for three seconds while theyre on vacation. they usually speak in a very professional and confident manner but they use so many elipsies(or however you spell it the three dots) here Girl their ass does NOT know how to relax!!! "Ah! I got sugar water on the files!" THEIR ASS IS NOT RELAXING STOP WORKING LITTLE SHIT YOURE ON VACATION!!!!!

also in the last image i included thats their costume banner, you can see them playing in the water with their parents which is actually adorable but i think its safe to assume their parents planned this vacation for them and they literally just. Dont know what to do with themself. So used to working 24/7 whether it was in school or lawyering and they dont know what to dooo GAUGDJJ girl youre so fucked up

(also the left side of the photo is cappuccinos banner which is another piece of one full photo which i think is ADORABLE i fucking love that detail)

and then you can see by their lines they actually start to adjust to everything and they learn to relax and have fun and end up Really really liking it and i absolutely love that for them yes girl have fun!!! its not really mentioned or implied in the costume itself but i like to think that theyre carrying around the sodas to feel useful. Like they hate not feeling productive and their parents never asked them to but theyre carrying it around awkwardly because they want to feel like theyre doing something good

this isnt from their costume its from a cutscene from the update a few months ago but theres a scene from this one camping update where they say they remember camping with their family as a kid and that they studied in the tent the whole time GIRL!!!! they were STUDYING while camping and they say it all proudly like they see nothing wrong with it like its a completely normal and reasonable thing to do Their ass is NOT relaxing!!!

ok sorry this ended up longer than expected um. if you dont want to read/respond to this thats fine HVSJF /gen i just really love this stupid goober. Kills them affectionately

sorry for the late reply ive been super busy with school but THIS IS ADORABLE OH MY GOODNESS???? thank u for educating me abt blorbo i feel wiser now. they look so so happy playing in the water im glad she gets a nice vacation :]

[windmills123]

intrigued by what u love most abt yume nikki

like what made u go "oh damn this game is SUCH A GAME"

if u kno what i mean?

im glad you asked. well... holy fuck, i could talk about yume nikki for hours!! but... if i had to summarize it down, heere are some points:

its yume nikki!!! such a unique and different game from anything ive seen, even with its fangames. well if you look back at the gaming scene in 2004, then something like an rpg maker game thats NOT an rpg and actually a weird surrealism thingy was kind of crazy. it does seem to be inspired by the mother series, which has a lot of weird artsy stuff and also lsd dream emulator, also a game where you walk in dreams, which is self explanatory. also it utilizes rpgmaker mechanics in SUCH mindblowing ways, it doesnt even feel like it was made with it. it flows VERY well for a 2004 indie game.

the atmosphere and theming is so awesome. the NPCs who are completely indifferent to you, the worlds all connectin g together, etc. also, the art and music is really charming in kind of a nostalgic way, the aztec inspirations for the npcs, all the different sights and how desolate and lonely it feels, yet kind of still comforting. you know?? like the dreamworld is an escapism for madotsuki, but she still cant escape the horrors of reality..............

3. every part of it is very mysterious. a whole intigue of the game for many people has been what the dreams are really about!! of course there is also the developer kikiyama, who theres practically 0 info on. even though obviously people should respect their privacy, people still wonder what happened or why the game never got finished. i hope they're well....

4. the fanbase of yume nikki is one of the most cool ones ive seen. its one of those old fandoms from back in the 2000s that never stopped going, like touhou.. you can find a lot of old short little animations of yume nikki. theres the big viewed ones, but also ive found really obscure ones with under a 1000 viws, which shows how much people cared about it. even though the game was seen as dark, they were often really wholesome. theres also yume nikki fansites from back then, and a lot of cool fanart. even though the fandom was fairly small, its kind of like a window to how different the internet used to be. now its even more popular with internet horror stuff being more noticed recently.

its just really kind of heartwarming that so many people connected with a short game about isolation and anxiety posted on some forum site back in 2004 by an unknown person, i think.

5. the fangames!!!!!!!! there are so many fangames for this game, all because people liked the idea so much, hundreds of them wanted to try making one. ynfgs are always really charming to play, however none of them compare to yume 2kki ( the big one). its the closest ive ever felt to going to another world in a video game, even more than yume nikki itself.

because so many people have worked on it, 2kki has an endless seeming amount of content which is pretty awesome. some people think its incoherent because of how big the game is, but it always made it feel more like a dream to me. especially like one you would have as a child, falling asleep while being driven home from a birthday party or something like htat. fun fact: 2kki got started in 2007, before the final yume nikki update, which means there is a chance kikiyama might have even played it, which is pretty crazy...

well, thats my rambling about my favorite things about yume niki! lol i think thats too much text, oops. well, high five if you actually read that................. <:,-]

[cartoonemotion]

TFA for the ask game!! >:]

The first character I first fell in love with: PROWL !!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my G0D he was such a super mega insta-fave. its so funny bc i watched tfa as a kid and i didnt remember much abt him (bc ratchet and sari were my favorites then) but rewatching it now it didnt even take the end of the first episode to just become obsessed with the guy. truly doing it like no other iteration of prowl The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: bulkhead !! he was also one i didnt remember a ton about from watching the show as a kid ? i expected to like him enough but the show gives him so many little details outside of "doofy well-meaning clumsy wrecker" like his instant and very strong connection with sari, his passion for art, the """twist""" that hes an expert space bridge engineer, just the fact that hes the heart of the team overall ! hes got a lot going for him i wish he was wayyy more appreciated The character everyone else loves that I don’t: not counting any like 2-second side characters that i think people just associate with versions of from other iterations of transformers fucking. i cant even remember his name. and im not gonna look it up either but the guy the fucking guy who chops other cybertronians up and takes their shit to sell or as trophies. a concept that could have been really cool but just ended up so boring in execution. and hes not even hot !!!!!! hes utterly swagless !!!!!!!!! i dont know why so many ppl are just foaming at the mouth for him hes NOTHING The character I love that everyone else hates: UMM again bulkhead maybe ? i dont think hes hated i just think people dont tend to appreciate him or consider him much at all which is a shame because hes wonderful The character I used to love but don’t any longer: the last season kind of really soured bumblebee for me LOL like i dont hate him or anything he just stopped being any fun to watch at all. fuckin djw getting his practice for the omniverse version of ben tennyson in The character I would totally smooch: oh my g0d how could i choose. theres grimlock theres ratchet theres arcee theres wreck-gar theres theres jazz theres blackarachnia and starscream but in both of those instances i think i would die The character I’d want to be like: this is a tough one everyones kind of a mess. not even optimus has his shit together. as a child i DID want to be sari but that was because she had cool robot powers but those kind of become less appealing when youre 23 that seems like a lot of shit would just become so inconvenient idk like do i get covered by health or auto-insurance The character I’d slap: STARSCREAM AS WELL ! again i would definitely definitely die but it would be worth it A pairing that I love: PROWLBULK OF COURSEEE with blackarachnia/slipstream being a very close second. i dont care that they never interacted in the show or even in any supplemental material through evil and love all things are possible A pairing that I despise: now of course not counting all of the ones that are gross obviously i really don't like bee/prowl. LIKE objectively there's nothing even wrong with it i can see where ppl r coming from but they just dont read romantically very well to me at all. theyre more like besties who want to maim each other to me thats all