#i cant tell if its actually bad or if im just like

[pinkandlilacroses]

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Angel - Paige bueckers

• summary {when an unsuspecting girl falls for the basketball star}

• warnings {angst}

• comment if you would like to be added to the taglist

bellas pov

for everyday this week, azzis been over and i haven’t seen jake in a while. hmmm

avery has taken away my weed, and my valium because she says i need to ‘deal with things naturally’ blah blah blah

this week has sucked. especially because avery keeps dragging me to azzis basketball practice, and every practice, paige ignores me. i really need to stop thinking about her.

“its friday, that means you don’t have to go to a practice until monday” avery says, trying to convince me to show up to yet another practice. i don’t even watch basketball, theres literally no point to me being there

“ok, fine”

azzis pov

i know what avery’s doing is wrong. i mean shes cheating on her high school boyfriend with me, but i think im falling for her.

“paige cmon we have practice” i say, shaking paige, attempting to wake her up

“ok, ok, calm down. im up”

“also, avery and bella are coming to practice again”

“bro why” she says, complaining. she doesn’t like bella for some reason, like every time bellas around, she gets annoyed quicker than usual.

“why do you hate bella so much”

“cause she gets to attached” she says.

what.

“what do you mean paige” i say, somewhat yelling

“i mean, we hooked up and she got all mad when i kicked her out, then she blocked me”

“paige are you fucking kidding me” i say, fuming

i cant believe this, the one girl i actually like, of course paige has hooked up with her best friend

“it was before you guys got close” she says, defending her actions

“it doesn’t matter, avery definitely knows. oh my god” i say, getting more and more stressed

“bro it doesn’t matter” she says, getting ready, clearly unfazed by my anxiety heightening

“of course you would do this. why do you have to get with every girl on campus paige, she clearly isn’t like that” i say, yelling

“she was loving it” she says, smirking. why is she not talking this seriously

“your disgusting” i say, slamming the door and walking to practice on my own

azzi

- hey bella, im so sorry about what paige did

- i just yelled at her for you lol

bella

- did she tell you?

azzi

- yeah

- im so sorry

bella

- its ok

- it doesn’t matter

azzi

- does avery know?

bella

- yeah

- its pretty obvious

azzi

- yeah lol

fuck.

bellas pov

i mean, i appreciate azzi’s texts, but she shouldn’t be apologising for her shitty excuse of a best friend

“hey guys” nika says, as we walk into practice

“bella” kk says, spinning me around. i’ve gotten pretty close with kk over the past week, so this isn’t out of the ordinary

im talking to the team, as avery sticks to conversating with azzi, until

“paige” ice and kk say, somewhat screaming

azzi and avery just look at her, blankly

paige comes and stands with myself and the rest of the team, standing next to me

“can we talk” she whispers

“about what” i say, turning to face her. i obviously want to talk to her, but i dont want her to know how bad i want to

“i just need to talk to you”

“ok, fine”

she drags me to the bathroom and i sit on the bench

“azzi knows” she says, leaning close to me

“yeah, she texted me”

she looks at me, blankly

“is that all you wanted to say

“im sorry”

what.

“wait what” i ask, genuinely confused

“i shouldn’t of kicked you out”

im in shock

she continues “i was just horny and desperate, i genuinely do want to get to know you, im sorry”

she wants to get to know me?

“what do you wanna know” i ask, somewhat seductively

she bites her lip

“no”

huh?

“i want to know you, in a friend way”

“oh” i say, jumping down from the bench and walking out of the bathroom

“no bella, not like that” she says, chasing after me

i walk out of the bathroom and towards avery

“im leaving”

“ok tell me later” obviously referring to paige and i in the bathroom

im getting deja vu, walking through the halls, crying. fuck why do i care so much about her

paiges pov

i fucked up. i didn’t mean it like that, i meant that i want to know everything about her, like a friend. but i want to be more. fuck

why would i say that

“avery, whats your dorm number” i say, running up to avery and azzi

“why” she asks, confused

“what did you do” azzi adds

“i fucked up, i think i like her. and i fucked up” i say, shocking myself

they both look at me in shock

“no fucking way” azzi says, covering her mouth in shock

“its 235, be quick, run!” avery says, and i begin to charge out of practice. fuck that. this means more

after basically running through the dorm halls, i begin to hear soft cries. thats her

“bella?” i say

“leave me alone” she says, i run closer to the voice and i see her. standing outside her door

“bella, please talk to me” i say, standing infront of her, towering

“why paige, you just wanna be friends” she says, looking up at me with teary eyes

“please let me in, i need to explain” i beg, and she complies

“sit” she says, coldly

“ive always had a crush on you, ever since your freshman year, i’ve noticed you, more than any other girl. seeing you in the halls genuinely brightens up my day, at the bar. i had finally mustered up enough courage to talk to you and i just found myself falling more and more for you. i kicked you out because i was scared, ive never liked anyone like i have with you, your different. i tried to distract myself but i just cant. im so sorry”

i cant even look at her right now. fuck

“paige-“ she starts

i interrupt “i shouldn’t of done that” i say, and basically run out of her dorm

fuck

[apieceoftoastedbread]

i just finished working boys. holy shit??/pos

mentions of show spoilers under cut

SO. welcome to my ted talk. i just finished working boys. what. the. FUCK. but like in a good way. i loved it! i watched it with my dad kinda and i was giggling the entire time. i love rob as hidgens but if hidgens was anyone else BESIDES jeff i would have honestly not felt the same about it. jeff did great in the whole thing.

also, RUTHH!!.., MY BABY💔💔 SHE DID NO WRONG. IT WAS HER DEBUT☹️ she did great and i loved the few seconds of screentime she had.

the people in the audience were also making my tism alarm go off. if i can recall it was bill, ted, officer bailey, ms mulberry, richie, grace, gerald, linda, and brenda? those are all the people i can remember. seeing richie and grace go to see ruth actually made me go crazy i love them all SO MUCH. i wanna take richie and shake him. Ted was being a little asshole as always/pos. poor bill was abandoned. AND GERALD AND LINDA? oh my god i love them. i have a love-hate relationship with linda except she doesnt know who i am and would spit on me and i love her but also need her to suffer. I wanted to take the scene where him and linda are cuddling and just stay there forever. officer bailey made me laugh but also how is that man a cop. he just handed grace the gun?? ALSO GRACE IS SO BADASS BUT SHES CRAZY?? SUPPORT WOMENS WRONGS!! she started saying sumthing about the lord and i got chills.

the dead workin boys?? that was so sick what??

LIKE?? JON ILY YOU SCARE ME SO MUCH/pos. THIS WAS A JUMPSCARE BUT A GOOD ONE.

I LOVE THIS TOO? I FOR THE LIFE OF ME CANNOT TELL WHO THIS IS BUT THEY LOOK SO SCARY AND SICK I LOVE IT

RAHH I LOVE THIS LOOK. I LOVE HOW THEY ARE ALL COMING OUT OF THE MOST UNNATURAL PLACES.

OH MARK YOU SCARE ME SO MUCH MY UNSETTLING LITTLE BABY❤️ PLEASE NEVER SHOW UP AGAIN

THIS IS SUCH A BAD ANGLE BUT ITS STILL SO GOOD?? THEY ALL LOOK SO AWESOME

IDK IF ITS ALL MAKEUP OR CGI OR A MIX BUT WHOEVER DID IT DID GREAT.

THE MUSIC WAS AMAZING. LIKE IDK IF THIS IS ON SPOTIFY OR NOT OR IF I GOTTA UPLOAD WHAT I CAN FIND PRIVATELY FOR MYSELF. STARKID I LOVE YOU.

ALSO THE UNCANNYNESS OF PROFESSOR HIDGENS LAST WORDS BEING “i cant wait to get home to my boys..” WHILE BEING SHOT AT BY GRACE. HE JUST WANTED TO IMPRESS HIS BOYFRIENDS ☹️

uhm uhm im gonna shut up now because my brain is being overwhelmed by over analyzing this but please please please talk to me about this

[rafeandonlyrafe]

the pogues and the princess

words: 1.8k

warnings: drinking, partying, throwing up, protective!rafe, threats of violence, established relationship

“oh come on, don’t be so grumpy.” you poke at rafes cheek, his face downturned in a scowl.

“you know i don’t like you at these type of parties.” rafe sighs, slapping your hand away from his face as he concentrates on the road in front of him, wishing for once that he doesn’t get to his destination faster, wanting to keep you there with him.

“babe, i’d hardly call it a party. its just gonna be me, sarah and kiara… and a couple other people.” “yeah, the fucking pogues.” rafe grunts. “you know how i feel about you hanging out with them.” “oh please, i don’t even talk to jj or john b. i just miss my girls.” you pout. you got super close with sarah when you started dating rafe, which naturally led you to get close to kiara as well as sarahs other new friends.

“yeah, alright.” rafe grunts. you may not talk to the boys, but that doesn’t stop them from trying to talk to you.

“i’ll call you when i need you to pick me up.” you unbuckle as rafe turns down the driveway, leaning over to press a kiss to his cheek. “i love you.”

“i know.” rafe sighs dramatically, hating that you’re leaving him, but not wanting to hold you back from seeing your friends, especially when you so rarely ask him. “i love you too.”

you wait as rafe gets out, opening your door and helping you down from his truck. he looks over your outfit again, glad that you’re very covered as he walks you towards the house, music already able to be heard pumping out of speakers.

“baby, this is not a little party.” rafe looks around, realizing theres a good amount of people crowded around the various seating areas.

“do you wanna stay?” you ask. rafe struggles, but ultimately shakes his head no. he knows if he stays that he would just end up getting pissed off at one of the pogues, and he values you too much to beat one of them up in front of you.

“mmkay, well i see kie.” you turn towards rafe. “i’ll call you in a bit. probably around 1 am if thats alright.” “yeah, i’m definitely not gonna be able to sleep until i get you back home.” rafe grunts. he’s in no danger of missing your call, there’s no way he will be able to relax until you’re back safe in his arms.

“bye baby.” you get on your tiptoes to press a kiss to rafes lips. “love you.”

“love you more.” rafe watches you walk away, literally skipping as you reach kiara, throwing your arms around her in a hug. rafe doesn’t see his sister, but he knows she can’t be far away.

“hey, pogues.” rafe walks up to a picnic table, jj smoking a blunt while pope and john b both hold a bottle of beer. 

“rafe, don’t start shit-” jj begins, but he’s quickly cut off by rafe. 

“shut the fuck up. i need you to watch y/n. if she gets hurt, i will fucking end all of you, understood?” rafe waits for all three of the boys to nod.

“im serious. i will fucking kill you. let her have fun with sarah and kiara, but don’t let her drink too much, and if any guy tries to talk to her or dance with her…” rafe trails off, but they get the point.

“she’s our friend too.” pope finally pipes up. “of course we will keep an eye on her.” “good.” rafe grunts, not saying another word before stomping away, back towards his truck.

--

“where is my kie kie?” your words slur as you stumble into the house, looking for your friend. “kiara!” you shout. “you never brought me back another drink you bitch!”

“hey, hey there.” jj suddenly grabs your shoulders, making you blink rapidly to get his face into focus. “maybe you don’t need another drink.”

“maybe you don’t need another drink.” you argue back, trying to wiggle out of jjs grasp. “i want a uh…” you look at the selection of bottles on the table. “shot of vodka!” jj knows you must be really drunk if you’re willing to take the shot, knowing how much you don’t like the taste of alcohol until you’re really far gone, always having to mix it with something fruity to get it down.

“okay, let me get it for you.” jj grabs a shot glass, keeping one eye on you as he shields what hes doing with his body, grabbing the vodka like hes going to pour it, but actually filling the cup with water instead.

“here you go.” he turns around with a smile.

“thanks!” you take the glass, knocking it back. “you know, rafe would not like you getting drinks for me.”

“hey, its all friendly.” jj smiles, patting your shoulder as you walk away to find kiara, yelling out again. he doesn’t see that you swipe a bottle from the table.

--

“i feel sick.” you shout at sarah, hands linked together. despite your words, you continue to dance, your stomach churning but there’s too much alcohol in you to care.

“i think if we drink more itll help!” sarah says, meaning to pull you towards the house, but you both stumble on the grass and end up falling on the ground, not feeling any pain as you burst out laughing.

“oh my god, we are sooo drunk.” you giggle, feeling a lot better now that you’re laying down, so you don’t make any effort to move, despite the stick poking your back.

“i know.” sarah pouts, before suddenly yelling. “john b!” it takes a minute for john b to make his way over, and when he finally does, he stands looking down at the two of you, hands on his hips.

“i think you girls may have had enough.” “sarah.” you turn to her. “i hate your boyfriend.” “me too, he’s trying to cut us off.” sarah rolls his eyes before reaching up, making grabby hands at john b, who sighs and helps bring her to her feet.

“come on.” john b tries to help you up next, but you frown, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by emotions.

“i don’t want you, i want my boyfriend!” you cry out, tears suddenly streaming down your face, leaving marks in your makeup.

“oh shit!” john b groans. “don’t cry! come on! lets call rafe.”

you finally accept john bs help up, tears drying up quickly when you see kiara, squealing as you rush away from the couple to link arms with her.

--

“shit, we gotta call rafe.” pope says, looking at you with concern on his face before glancing at his phone, the time ticking past 2 am. 

“we should just take her home.” jj says. “i don’t have his number.”

“we can ask sarah…” pope looks around, before quickly realizing that sarah and john b disappeared together a while ago, and he’s not wanting to find them and break up whatever they’re doing for the sake of his innocent eyes.

“ill just ask y/n.” jj sighs, pope tagging along as he makes his way over to you, the last one dancing to the music, from the only speaker still playing.

“hey, y/n.” pope says softly, but you don’t seem to hear him as you continue to bounce around, hair long pulled out of the ponytail you arrived in, dress swishing as you move.

“y/n!” jj shouts louder, making you suddenly stop.

“what is it?” you blink rapidly, tears forming in your eyes from jjs shouting. “are you mad at me? is rafe mad at me?” “no, we just wanna take you home. its really late.” jj places a cautious hand on your back, guiding you away from the speaker.

“‘m not tired though.” you look to pope, hoping he would agree with you, but he shakes his head. no help there.

“how about we call rafe then, yeah? i think he’d beat our ass if either of us took you home.” “no he wouldn’t.” you shake your head. “my boyfriend is cute and perfect and nice and he wouldn’t do that.” 

“alright, whatever you say.” pope rolls his eyes. he’s not willing to argue about the past, especially when he knows you’re way too drunk to even realize what you’re saying.

“ill call him.” you pull your phone out, frowning at the screen before your passcode suddenly comes back to you. rafes birthday.

you manage to navigate to his contact before the phone suddenly falls from your hands, thankfully landing on the soft grass. you barely turn away from pope and jj before you throw up, bending over as you spew. 

pope moves quickly to hold up your hair, while jj picks up the phone, thankfully still open.

he presses the call button while watching pope comfort you as you begin to cry, sniffling out a mixture of words about how you hate throwing up and want your boyfriend.

“baby?” rafe answers, his voice soft but clearly tired and slightly on edge.

“uh… no.” jj answers awkwardly. “she’s ready to be picked up though she’s uhh… pretty drunk.”

“i’ll be there in five minutes.” rafe puts the truck into drive. he would never admit it, but he’s been just down the block the entire time, not wanting to go too far in case he needed to quickly get to you. “give her the phone.”

“yeah, alright.” jj hands it over to you. “its your boyfriend.”

“oh my god, rafe!” you shout into the phone, making him pull it away from his ear at your loud volume. 

“hi baby, i’m coming right now to pick you up, okay?” “i love you so much.” you sob out. “i miss you, i miss you. i hate partying without you.”

“how much did you have to drink?” rafe asks.

“she snuck a bit more when i turned my back for one second rafe.” jj adds in, leaning closer to the phone to speak. “we really did keep an eye on her.”

“yeah.” pope chimes in. “one guy tried to dance with her but i stopped him.”

“wait, really?” you question. you hadn’t even noticed, or maybe just didn’t remember.

rafe doesn’t know what to say. he’s certainly not going to thank the pogues, but he’s grateful you’re safe as he turns down the driveway, headlights illuminating the three of you standing in the yard, the only ones still around as he throws his truck into park.

“yay!” you squeal, running over to rafe and literally jumping into his arms, making him stumble back as he holds you against him.

“hi baby, did you have fun?” rafe asks, rubbing his hand over your back as the other keeps you from falling. “i did but i drank too much and got sick and then starting crying because i missed you.” you explain quickly, all negative emotions gone now that you’ve got him back.

“should i get you home then?” rafe asks, glad when you nod enthusiastically, tucking your face into his neck.

rafe looks to pope and jj, nodding awkwardly at them. its the best thank you they’re going to get as he loads you into the passenger side of his truck.

taglist: @winterrrnight @bejeweledreverie @drewstarkeyslut @forstarkey @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog @outerbankspov @drewstarkeyswifehoe @cutielando @kamninaries @buckyswhxre @rafeinterlude @bellbottombaby @deeaardiary @rubixgsworld @wearemadeofstardust0 @leighbronk @starkeysheart @pradabambie @tobesolovelysstuff @alexiskirkland @rafestar @brioffthegrid @juniebugg @magicalyoura @die4niyahhh

[b4kuch1n]

siren

[moeblob]

Me, too, Blade. Me. Too.

(I am taking donations to buy a gigantic $250 stuffed cheeseburger. It's giant. I want it. I will never obtain it. I saw it in a shop window and..... wow. Big.)

[wizardsix]

i guess i have to say it a million times since people insist on being dense: gale is just as much of a victim as the other companions. this isn't the trauma olympics. everyone has been through shit and deserves healing and redemption.

gale is not the self entitled, manipulative abuser people are painting him as. he's a lot of things, but nothing so heinous. he was groomed by a goddess who has a history of preying on wizards that threaten her power, and as a result, gale's ambition and faith was what drove him to discover the netherese orb. what he did was for mystra - in his mind, it was to prove his love by restoring her missing power - and by extension for the betterment of mortals. his actions were never malicious or selfish, in fact he puts himself so low on the priority list it's pretty much non existent. he was never going to use that power to usurp her, but mystra definitely saw it like that, which is why she didn't hesitate to present suicide as his only solution. he never crossed her personal boundaries in the way people are twisting it, he only wanted to cross the boundaries she put on wizards and their power.

people who insist he's all of these things and more clearly only spoke to him once or lack the reading comprehension to see past how much of an unreliable narrator he is. i can understand first impressions might put some people off, but you can say the same about the other companion introductions. i don't like comparing but since people insist on doing it; gale is one of the easiest companions to get along with just by being a good person, yet his honesty and selflessness makes people think he's secretly evil? while the companions with the capacity to be evil don't even try to hide it? how are people being so backwards about this? it's genuinely baffling and tiring to see people continuously spit out incorrect takes all too confidently.

no one is forcing anyone to like him, but it's unfair to completely mischaracterize him because you refuse to learn critical thinking. i promise using your brain is not as scary as it seems, or you can just. not talk about things you don't understand.

[goobygnarp]

.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,

if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."

i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,

i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason

[autisticlee]

is it an autistic experience to ALWAYS be the one in a friend group who gets left out, alienated, secretly disliked, then kicked out of the group?

[strawbubbysugar]

actually getting a bit anxious about posting the next chapter hsds

[szappan]

university.. university leave me alone

[fruitsyrups]

the worst thing about fionna and cake that nobody talks about is when they say "holy shmow zow". like what the fuck are you talking about. that isn't a thing. i hate it so much, like, inexplicably. actually no it is explicable because its fucking stupid. sorry. im really normal and i have very normal and reasonable feelings about normal things.

[luvring]

in awe of everybody w actual self-ship lore because mine is i want him so bad but he'd want me even more Trust and that's it

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

dear google, how do i ask my stepfather if he was being Serious or Not about buying extra edibles and if so, can i have one-

[skunkes]

finally found a better way to word my issues with art improvement and thats that obviously art with no ref is/can be a little incorrect and misguided, there are Mistakes when you're just going off of memory.

But when i do studies my art becomes too Rigid because my brain remembers the studies and yells at me if i dont proportion things "correctly" (+ also ends up Bad due to overworking to "Fix" it)...

Its hawrd to find that balance, + have it be the Loose and Fun art that comes before reminding self what something is "supposed to look like". I feel my stuff only exists between extreme ends of sloppy and rigid bc i cant find the balance

Ive seen a few very old drawings from before I started using refs more often and they almost look Better. They dont look 100% Right but they look Good. Now I overwork everything bc it doesnt look Right and it still ends up not looking Right or Good.

[mimir97477906]

im so sosry for ranting abour this again but auhgufhgh im making a ref sheet of my ocs for myself beacse EVERYTIME I DRAW THEM THEY LOOK SOOOSK DIFFERENT os i thoguht maybe this can help me memorize their faces but EVEN THO IM USING GUIDELINES THE SAME CHARACTER LOOKS LIKE DIFFERENT PEOPLE ITS JUST A HEAD TURN AROUND I CANT DO THIS I FEEL SO VIOLENT WHY IS MY ART STYLE HAVING AN IDENTITY CRISIS HOWWWWWWW DO I FIX THIS